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#thought i downloaded more fake boyfriend books but it was only two…. all the others were sequels :
mildmayfoxe · 1 month
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starting the sequel to a book i finished less than two weeks ago and i already barely remember what happened in it
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jeontaeil-archived · 3 years
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Turn Right Onto Oh Shit Avenue //
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~ for @renhyucks "The First" collab ~
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Pairing: Haechan x Fem!Reader
Genre: Smut, Crack, Non-Idol AU
Words: 2.27+
Warnings: 18+ content, Read at your own discretion
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Your first road trip with your boyfriend Haechan was simply unforgettable.
~
You were out on a journey with no destination and that decision was proving to be worse than you thought. After getting on the path that you were on for four hours straight, Haechan suggested that you get off the highway and detour to a small little off-road lane. At first, the daring exit seemed promising. But before you knew it, you had driven over a sharp stone, thereby puncturing not only your front tire but also the back tire adjacent to it. Having only one spare, there was no way you could make the repair. To add to your misery, when Haechan attempted to call roadside assistance, he was unable to do so as there was no cell service. The only way you’d be able to get some help was if you went back to the main road. However, neither of you were willing to leave the car behind - even though you knew that no one would try and steal a broken down car - and so, after a competitive round of rock-paper-scissors, it was decided that Haechan would make the trip back to the highway on foot underneath the blistering midday sun while you sat in the car, chilling peacefully in the ac.
It took him quite a while to return. He came bearing good news. A tow truck would arrive at your location in about two to three hours. Until then, all you both needed to do was sit tight and try not to panic in the lifeless location that you were stranded in. That was easier said than done.
There wasn’t much of a view beyond the windows. Just miles and miles of dull, dead grass. Not having much to do other than sit idle, Haechan grew bored quickly. He turned to you with a stoic expression. “Wanna fuck?”
You scoffed at his ridiculous suggestion. “In the middle of nowhere? Umm, absolutely not,” you answered, earning a whine from him. “The fact that there’s no one here makes it like ten times more ideal. There’s no chance of us getting caught,” he urged. You rolled your eyes even though he had a point. “Still, I didn’t bring any condoms.”
Haechan narrowed his eyes at you. “When I suggested that we go on a road trip you should’ve known that car sex was included. I shouldn’t have had to explicitly state it.”
Was he being serious? If you guys hadn’t made this stupid detour and were still driving along the highway, was he going to pull over and bone you while unsuspecting civilians drove past you both? Or worse, would he book a room at some cheap hotel for twenty-something minutes of undeniable pleasure?
“Well too bad for you then,” you chided, crossing your arms. “If it was a part of your plan, you should’ve prepared better.”
Haechan threw his hands up. You were unbelievable. He never thought he’d see the day when you refused sex simply because you had no protection. “I can always pull out you know.”
You laughed sarcastically, though you actually found his words genuinely humorous. “I didn’t wanna be the one to tell you this, but your pull out game sucks ass Hyuck.”
Haechan gasped dramatically at your accusation, taking full offence. “Aren’t you the one who likes it messy? How can I not be messy if half-ass my pull out game?”
You raised your brows in a false sense of surprise. “So you’re telling me that you fake it then?”
“I don’t fake it. I just do it on purpose,” he corrects. You nodded, not believing him. “Oh really?”
“I could always prove it to you,” he presented triumphantly. You smirked. “Okay fine. Let’s fuck. but you can’t pull out and jerk yourself off. Otherwise, it won’t count.”
Haechan smiled and crashed his lips onto yours, pushing your seat back so that he could hover on top of you. He spread your legs apart, settling in between them and slipped his hand under your shirt, drawing small circles into your side. You tugged at his shirt, urging him to take it off. He was quick to do so, throwing the material in the back seat. Haechan peeled your shorts down your legs, bringing his hands to your clothed clit. You bucked your hips against his fingers, gasping into his mouth. Haechan took this as a chance to let his tongue run over yours. He squeezed your breast over your bra and pushed the flimsy fabric up to your neck. You fumbled with his pants, managing to grab his partially hardened cock. Haechan hummed and pushed his pants down all the way, letting his member spring free. You licked your lips in anticipation, playing with his tip. Haechan pushed your panties to the side and rubbed his tip along your plump folds. You held onto his arms when he finally pushed into you. He set a steady pace, rocking his hips into you comfortably. Your head fell back against the cool leather of the seat, legs spreading wider for him to go deeper. With one hand on your shoulder and the other on your thigh, Haechan kept his eyes glued to your cunt. He bit his lip, seething at how warm and tight your walls were. You began rubbing your clit, impatient to reach your climax. Haechan didn’t mind. In fact, he fucked you faster, pulling your body down the seat and throwing your legs over his shoulder. He held onto the headrest to maintain his momentum. Loud moans left your gaping mouth. The usually talkative Haechan said nothing, concentrating solely on his approaching high. You were the first to cum, walls clenching around his member. Haechan groaned as he felt your arousal gush down your walls, slicking up his cock. Gripping your thighs, he started rutting himself into you, ignoring your cries when the sensitivity started to settle into. Keeping your condition in mind, he hissed and kept going, right until he was about to nut.
An amused chuckle left you as he pulled out and haphazardly emptied himself over your pussy. You wrapped your fingers around him and stroked his length, milking him dry of every last drop.
“Does that count,” he asked, pulling his pants back up. He handed you a tissue to clean yourself up. “It barely makes the cut,” you replied, straightening yourself up again. Haechan snickered. “Just admit that you like it messy and we both win.”
~
About an hour into your wait for the tow truck, another disaster took place. The car’s battery gave out, leaving you to slow bake in the intense heat. Haechan had it easier, leisurely, splaying in his seat with his shirt off. You figured you could do the same, but there was no way of knowing when the towers would show up. Not wanting to waste the little amount of cool air in the car, Haechan forbade you from cracking the windows open. All you could do was sit and fan your face with the car’s insurance papers.
Almost a century later, a loud horn sounded from behind you on the road, startling you both. With a glance in the rearview mirror, you realised it was the towing people. Haechan scrambled to pull his shirt on and got out of the car, wincing as he shielded his eyes from the sun.
You watched Haechan talk to them from the window. He turned to you, motioning you to sit tight. After a while, They pulled your car up into the back of their truck and offered to take you back to their garage from where you both could book a cab and return to the city.
Since there was no space up front, they let you sit in your car, popping the windows open so that you wouldn’t die of suffocation. When the truck began moving, you were finally able to let out a breath of relief. It was still considerably hot out. But the sharp wind that hit your face was incredibly refreshing. Haechan’s once sweat matted hair was now fluffy and dry. Both of you were at ease, feeling grateful to have escaped that dreaded off-road where not a single soul was present. It was nice to be around life again.
It took some time but you eventually reached the garage in one piece. After collecting all your essentials from the car, you both headed out to a small diner nearby to recharge yourselves with some food and beverages. It was quiet between you, for the most part, both of you were equally exhausted from all the long and tedious travelling. It was safe to say that you’d lived out enough of your road trip fantasies for now.
After paying for your food, Haechan took out his phone, ready to book a cab. That’s the exact moment he realised that his phone was out of battery. A look of horror struck on his face. You cursed in frustration and pulled out your own phone. Luckily, it still had some charge, though barely surviving. Much to your dismay, however, you didn’t have a cab booking app and you knew downloading one would take ages. Still, you had to try.
As you had assumed, your phone ended up dying during your wait. Haechan was going to cry. Knowing that you both would be in the car for the majority of your trip, neither of you had brought your chargers. There was one back in the car but you couldn’t use it. Haechan was on the verge of tears. He had no idea what to do and neither did you.
“Should we just hitchhike?” Haechan stared at you blankly and shrugged. “Do we have any other choice?” You traced the rim of your cup, letting out a tired sigh. “Maybe we can spend the night at some motel and wait for our car to get fixed. We’ll have to come back to pick it up anyway so why not just stay till it’s ready?”
Haechan couldn’t argue with that. A waitress informed you of a cheap motel around the block. You both set out on foot, reaching it in no time. The building wasn’t too impressive. But it wasn’t like either of you were expecting much out of it anyways. You just wanted to lay on a soft bed and take a shower. You couldn’t stand how sticky and dewy your skin had gotten.
After booking a room, you both burst in through the door and headed straight for the bathroom. “Are we going in together,” Haechan asked when he saw you peeling your shirt off? You slipped behind the shower curtain and turned on the water without answering him. He got the memo and mimicked your actions before joining you in the small space. Leaning against his chest, you closed your eyes, letting the cool water cascade down your body. Haechan wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder.
“I can’t believe this is what our trip led to,” you spoke, snickering to yourself. Haechan scoffed. “At least we’ll never forget it.” You turned around, throwing your arms around his neck. “Never in a million years.” Haechan smiled at you, leaning forward to press a quick kiss on your lips. Pulling him closer, you kept his lips on yours a bit longer, not wanting it to end just quite yet. Haechan stumbled back towards the wall, smirking as things started to escalate. You could feel his member beginning to harden up. Haechan let out a choked moan when you took a hold of his length, pumping it with vigour. His fingers found your clit, rubbing quick circles into it. “Fuck, turn around,” Haechan voiced, switching places with you. He pulled your hips back, bringing his tip to your entrance. Pressing your face to the cool bathroom wall, you moaned as he stretched you out with his cock. Haechan gradually brought himself to a steady pace, grunting in delight. Your head fell back, breathy moans filling the expanse of the small bathroom. This was the perfect way to destress after your terrible day.
~
You guys had quite a lot of fun in that motel room. Two times in the shower and once on the bed. Now, you two laid next to each other, naked and completely drained. Haechan giggled at the ticklish sensation of your fingers drawing shapes on his chest. You were cuddled up into his side, leg thrown over his lap underneath the covers. Both of you were seconds away from falling asleep.
“You know what y/n,” Haechan whispered, not wanting to disturb the peaceful ambience of the room. You hummed, looking up at him. “I think we should go trekking.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his ridiculous idea. “After today I don’t think we should ever leave the house unsupervised,” you retorted. Haechan shook his head. “Just think about it. We get lost in the mountains and get a chance to see life through Tarzan’s eyes.” He sounded fascinated by the thought. You rolled your eyes. “Shut up and go to sleep. You’re going crazy.” Haechan groaned. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s sleep.”
He turned on his side, facing you. Snuggling deeper into him, you wrapped your arm around his hip, sighing into his neck while closing your eyes. His gentle and calm breaths were like a silent lullaby, helping you drift off. Just before you blanked out, Haechan gasped. “What is it now,” you asked, ready to kick him if he said something stupid? “I think I left our keys at home.”
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tagging: @chwe-yeeun | @jayvoir | @jisungismymom | @lqsience | @jakesavocado | @giveortake | @choijwiss | @treasuretaeil | @bts-txt-ateez | @heeslily | @sunoosi | @dong-hyuc | @borrovvedyoongi | @uwusforateez | @haechanswhore
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toriwakes · 3 years
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Pretty Boy 187 [s.r x reader]
summary: reader finds out that her new found tumblr crush is none other than her coworker.
content warnings: she/her!reader, mentions of alcohol
a/n: hi!! i’m so happy to be posting again. i’m really proud of this, so i hope you all like it! as always, let me know if you have any requests!
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convincing spencer to get tumblr was tough. not only did he hate technology, he didn’t like social media either.
“it’s gonna be fun! c’mon, please?” you’ve been bugging him about it for about a week. “spencer, please just download it. if i have to hear (y/n) whine again i’m gonna loose it.” said derek, plopping is papers on his desk. “you like it when i whine.” you teased, causing derek to flash you a toothy grin. “alright! jeez.” you clapped of joy and jumped to help spencer, but he stopped you. “no way, i’m not letting you follow me.” he kept his phone facing away from you, your arms dropping to your sides in defeat. “fine. i’ll find your account somehow.” “we’ll see about that.”
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over the next few weeks you acquired a few new followers, only one catching your eye. ‘prettyboy187’ followed you on a quiet friday afternoon. the username caught your attention at first, but when you checked is profile? that’s when you were hooked. half of his pictures were just aesthetically pleasing: outside of his window, his extreme sugary coffee, some books. but others...
it was an excerpt of a poem and his hand was holding back the pages. you doubt he meant to capture it so beautifully. just his hand was godly. you wasted no time dming him.
hey :)
how desperate did you look right now? he followed you barley an hour ago. you cant stop staring at that picture.
hello
he didn’t sound happy. well, he didn’t “sound” anything, you guys were texting. but you could feel his tone through the screen. where you overthinking this too much? you shuffled into your bed, wrapping yourself in the covers as you pondered what to say next.
i just wanted to tell you i really like your account. are you a photographer or something?
no, i’m not. my friend convinced me to get this app and i noticed people post aesthetically pleasing photos on here, so i’m just doing the same haha.
ok, well you don’t post nice pictures. at least, not that type. maybe you’d post a picture of the snow or your bed, but every now and then you’d bless the feed with a picture of you in a swimsuit. it was more for opinions on the suit than anything else.
ohh. maybe i should start doing that.
how do you mean?
oh.
that sounded like a very judge-y ‘oh’. your eyes scanned your own profile to see what he could’ve hated. there was you in your favorite red swimsuit, a picture of your computer with netflix on the screen. the rest of the posts were of the same type, so you couldn’t pinpoint what the problem was.
what is it?
no, nothing. your recent picture. that’s a nice swim suit.
oh. that’s what he meant. you practically threw your phone across the room and squealed. thank the universe that he didn’t dislike you already. you shot him another text. just like that, you had your first ever tumblr crush.
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“what’s up with you pretty girl?” derek asked when you walked into work. you supposed you still had the blush on your face when pretty boy wished you a good morning and day at work. “nothing!” you said, obviously it being something. as if on cue, spencer walked in behind you also giddy. “what, you’re both sweet on someone now?” when neither of you responded, derek laughed. “what?” emily inquired, taking her seat. “spencer and (y/n) both have a crush.” emily’s jaw dropped. “spencer has a crush?” everyone broke into laughter, jj overhearing and almost dropping her files. “why is that so surprising?” spencer defended himself, derek giving him a ‘you know the answer to that’ look. “well?what’re their names?” he pushed. you bit your tongue. you didn’t even know his name. yikes. “let’s start.” aaron called. saved by hotch. thank goodness. “this ain’t over.” derek warned the two of you. yes it was. by the end of the day morgan would’ve forgotten all about this.
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you were right like always. morgan didn’t ask anymore about it, instead offering to get drinks. you turned it down, desperate to get home and text your boy. and you did, only at 11pm.
hey, sorry it’s so late. had a long day at work.
no worries, so did i. listen, i have a question.
this boy only sent messages that would make your heart drop. with a pacing heart, you texted back.
yes?
his ‘online’ button flashes on. then he was typing. then he was deleting. it seemed like hours before he responded.
what’s your name?
godamnit. you didnt have a display name because you didn’t want anyone you knew finding your account. what’s a fake name you can use? maybe...
lila.
why did you pick spencer’s ex’s name? you don’t know. you remember being insanely jealous of her because she got to kiss spencer in the pool while you were posted outside. your crush on spencer was still very much alive, but not as much as it was with pretty boy.
that’s a pretty name.
thanks. now you have to tell me yours ;)
you’ve never been so nervous for a text conversation in your life. for some reason, the back of your head wondered what it would be like if you were texting spencer. it was just a thought, though. spencer would never say half of this stuff.
call me morgan.
oh NO. please no... you stalked his profile again, terrified that you’ve been flirting with your coworker this past month. alas, your eye caught another body picture- this time of his arm. no tattoos like derek. not to mention he was much smaller. not that that’s a bad thing. you don’t think you’d ever be able to handle derek...
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you arrived at work yet again with a blushing face. “come on, you can’t keep hiding this from me! tell me something at least!” derek whined. “okay! his name is morgan. and i know what you’re thinking, and no, it’s not you, my boy is much more attractive.” derek’s mouth formed into an ‘O’ shape in fake offense. “that’s damn near impossible. ain’t nobody prettier than derek morgan.” spencer walked in now, again with a dorky smile on his face. “spencer. (y/n)’s got a crush on-“ you jumped to cover his mouth, the sound of your crush’s name muffled. “what- hey! no fair! derek gets to know but i cant?” spencer whined. derek held his hands up and sat back down, not wanting to get you mad. smart. “three can’t keep a secret.” was all you said before sitting down to clean your workspace.
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the new highlight of your day was texting morgan. you learned several things about him; he has a job he can’t specify for personal reasons, he really wants a dog but he feels like animals hate him. you told him about your cat joel, and how they could absolutely love him. he appreciated that.
if i tell you something, do you promise not to freak out?
depends. are you about to tell me you’re a serial killer?
no!
you giggled to yourself at your humor.
i wanna meet you.
you promised not to freak out, but you were freaking out. it was just now setting in that you didn’t know this man at all. where he lived, how old he was, even what he looked like. you took a few deep breaths and asked a question.
where do you live?
quantico virginia.
no hesitation on that one. he lived in the same town as you? you didn’t know how you’d be able to turn this down...
shit, me too. let’s meet up then.
i’ll send you a good place to get drinks.
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“every time you walk in here, you’re blushing. now so are your ears.” you beamed at derek, sitting at your desk before spilling. “i’m gonna meet him.” “wait what? are you sure that’s safe?” you rolled your eyes. “i’m an fbi agent. i’m not scared of a little danger.” you playfully winked and derek blew out a huff of air. “if anything happens, you know you can call me.” you pouted at your friend and nodded, appreciating his concern. spencer was spinning in his seat. “you happy too?” you asked. he only nodded and didn’t elaborate. you we’re going to press on, but hotch called you all in and you lost your chance.
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on rare occasions, the bau got tough cases with very happy endings. this was one of those cases. the plane ride home was extremely joyous and derek offered to get drinks again. this time, everyone accepted (all except hotch). you texted morgan telling him you were going out tonight and you wouldn’t be back till late. you laughed to yourself. it was like he was your boyfriend.
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the night was young and you were fairly tipsy. ok that’s generous, you were drunk. you were spending most of your time with penelope and it took you a minute to remember spencer. “ohmygosh! spence!” he was startled at your presence but he gave you that flat mouthed smile of his. “how are you! you’re my favorite scorpio.” you nodded as you said it, as if trying to convince him it was true. “thanks? i’m good. you’re drunk.” he pointed out. “no shit. hey!!! you never showed me your tumblr user! you gotta show me that girl you like, bet you she’s really sexy.” you didn’t even know what you were saying at this point, whipping out your phone and snapping a picture with spencer. “what are you doing?” he asked, watching you type. “posting this on tumblr! i want everyone to know you’re my favorite in the world.” he wanted to ask favorite what, but a ping on his phone distracted him. lila posted. he smiled and checked her page.
holy fuck.
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“(y/n)?” he asked, not looking away from his phone. “yess?” you responded. “what’s your tumblr?” what is your tumblr? “uhhh..i don’t know, check.” you tossed him your open phone, and his eyes only grew wider. “you’re lila?” the words rang through your ears like a siren. “what?” the word was breathy, you couldn’t add stability to what you said. spencer showed you his phone, ‘prettyboy187’ on the screen. “you’re morgan?” still no confidence in your voice whatsoever. your feelings were supposed to change, you weren’t supposed to like that morgan was spencer. but they didn’t. you didn’t even think about the fact he saw your swimsuit photos. you loved that morgan was spencer, and you still wanted to see him on the weekend. “are you mad?” you asked, not being able to stop yourself from sipping from your glass. “no. should i be?” you smiled. “no. do you still wanna meet up this weekend?” “yes. but i don’t wanna get drinks.” he wasn’t even drinking, why is he complaining. “where should we go then?” “my house.”
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nicknellie · 3 years
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Anonymous requested: Could I request willex fake dating au, maybe the boys are trying to get Alex a boyfriend and so he asks Willie to fake date him to get the boys off his back or something please!
Anon, I love fake dating AUs, I’m beyond glad that you suggested this. Plus with willex I think fake dating is very in character, especially for Alex. I had a lot of fun writing this one, thank you for your request! I’m sorry it took me so long to get round to writing it, but to make up for it I’ve made it longer than most of my other fics.
A Dream Come True
Alex had to hand it to them – when Luke and Reggie wanted something, they really pushed for it. Normally it would be one of the many things he loved about the two of them. Determination, perseverance, resilience, all good qualities. And when they put their minds towards something useful like booking Julie and the Phantoms a gig or dragging Willie out of the washing machine when he got stuck in it playing hide and seek, they were definitely useful to have around. So usually, Alex loved their pushiness.
He just didn’t like it when it was aimed at him. Even less so when they were trying (for the umpteenth time that month) to get him a boyfriend.
And the worst part was that this time Alex had run out of excuses.
For reasons Alex simply couldn’t fathom, Luke and Reggie had been obsessed with the idea of finding him a boyfriend for some weeks now. Reggie had downloaded several dating apps and entered all of Alex’s information, and every time Alex saw him the first thing Reggie would do was reel off a list of several candidates he’d deemed worthy. Luke, ever the technophobe (or rather just terrible with technology), had taken a more natural approach and spent countless hours wandering the streets of Hollywood for someone who was, in his words, ‘the sort of guy who would make Alex lose his goddamn mind’.
It wasn’t that Alex didn’t appreciate them trying to make him happy – he found it sweet, if a little weird – it was just that he knew nobody they found would ever be right. He knew what he was looking for, he knew what he wanted, and he didn’t think that Luke and Reggie could get it for him.
The first time they had tried to send him on a date Alex had faked a cold and pulled out at the last minute. The second time he had “accidentally” shown up to the wrong location and missed the entire thing. The third time he simply hadn’t gone – instead, he turned off all the lights in his house, locked all the doors and windows, and hid, so when he didn’t show up and Luke and Reggie came over looking for him they assumed he was out. The fourth time and most recent time he had pretended to fall asleep when they told him about it.
Alex wasn’t the most creative of people and he had pretty much exhausted all of his go-to date-dodging tactics. So the fifth time his friends tried to set him up, he completely panicked.
“So I was doing my usual lap of Sunset Boulevard this morning,” Luke said in lieu of a greeting the moment he walked into Julie’s garage. “And Alex, dude, bro, you will not believe the guy I saw.”
“Good morning to you to,” Alex said flatly.
Luke wrinkled his nose like the greeting confused him, but then saw Julie setting up her mic in the corner. A bright smile grew on his face as he was distracted and for a moment Alex thought he might have been lucky enough to get out of the conversation. But a moment later, Reggie entered the studio and also decided that greetings weren’t a necessity.
“Luke! Did you tell Alex about the guy yet?”
Julie snickered (she found the whole thing much funnier than Alex did and he most certainly did not appreciate it) and for a moment more Luke continued to just look at her, absolutely besotted, but then he came to his senses and all of a sudden his excited smile was directed at Alex.
“Right, that. So I ran into him outside the Orpheum, so he’s probably a music guy,” Luke gushed, winking in a way that Alex supposed was meant to be suggestive. “We had a little chat and he told me he’s training as a teacher and is also looking for someone to settle down with.”
“Sometimes I worry about you,” Alex said, laying a gentle hand on Luke’s arm. “You’re getting forgetful. I’m not looking to settle down with anyone.”
Rolling his eyes dramatically, Luke shrugged Alex’s arm off and instead planted his own hands firmly on Alex’s shoulders, shaking him a little. “Maybe not, but that might change when you meet this guy.”
“I doubt it. What’s his name?”
“Oscar. Maybe Oliver. Orville? I don’t know, but it definitely began with an ‘o’.”
“He sounds memorable,” Alex deadpanned. “I’m sure we’ll have a great time together.”
Reggie gasped excitedly. “So you’ll meet up with him then?”
“No,” Alex said firmly.
Julie giggled again (and once again Luke looked at her, dazzled). “Why not, Alex? You sounded so enthusiastic about him!”
“Very funny,” he returned. “I’m not meeting him.”
“Why not?” Luke whined, dragging the words out like a frustrated toddler. “You always do this! Reg and I try to set you up with people but you always say you don’t want to. Are we missing something?”
Alex could see the cogs whirring in Reggie’s mind before his face lit up and he triumphantly guessed, “Or are we missing someone?”
If anyone had asked, Alex wouldn’t have been able to give a reason for what he said next. It was completely untrue, a wild statement made under extreme pressure in the face of an emergency. Perhaps it was a bad decision, but he had run out of excuses to not meet people and he was getting desperate. He hadn’t had time to consider it.
Alex said, “Yes.”
Reggie’s jaw dropped, Julie dropped her microphone, and Luke dropped whatever respect he had left for Alex’s personal boundaries. He launched himself at Alex, tackling him to the floor in what he assumed was supposed to be a hug, and Alex was fairly certain that Luke was crying with happiness.
“Dude!” he shouted (though it was rather muffled since he had his face buried in Alex’s shirt). “That’s awesome news! Reggie and I can stop searching! I didn’t think you’d be able to find someone yourself, bro.”
“Thanks for having so much confidence in me,” Alex said flatly as he extricated himself from Luke’s vice grip and hoisted himself to his feet.
“You’re welcome,” Luke said as he wiped his eyes (yes, he was actually crying happy tears).
Julie had her arms crossed in front of her chest, looking half-puzzled and half-affronted. “You’re seeing someone? And you didn’t tell me? The only one of your friends who is even a little bit good at keeping a secret?”
“Hey,” Reggie interrupted, “I’m good at keeping secrets!”
“Reggie, honey, I love you but at Christmas you told everyone what you’d bought them as soon as you’d bought it.”
Reggie looked like he wanted to defend himself but couldn’t. “I was excited to see everyone’s reactions…”
Rolling her eyes fondly, Julie turned back to Alex. “Anyway – why didn’t you tell me?”
While he was a terrible liar, Alex just so happened to be a very good actor. In high school he’d got the lead role in the school play two years in a row, but whenever someone asked him if he was gay (before he had come out) he would often panic and pretend to faint to get out of the situation. Though he was technically telling a lie here, he decided it would be the prime opportunity to employ some of the improvisational skills he had worked on with Carrie back in their theatre club.
“It was all very new,” he explained, “we weren’t sure if it was going to go anywhere and we didn’t want to tell everyone until we were sure.”
It was only at this point that Alex realised he was digging a very deep hole for himself and it was most certainly too late to climb out of it now.
“When do we get to meet him?” Reggie asked excitedly.
“You already have,” Alex replied.
A little voice in the back of his mind was saying, shut up, you absolute idiot, what the hell are you playing at? Perhaps stupidly, he drowned that voice out.
Looking dumbfounded, Luke clutched Alex’s shoulders again. “We have? Who is it?”
The little voice got louder – don’t say it, Alex, I’m begging you not to say it, it’s like you’re actively trying to ruin your own life, you absolute–
“Willie.”
In eery synchrony, Luke, Julie, and Reggie all looked to each other with identical expressions of shock and bewilderment and then turned back to Alex with furrowed brows.
“Willie?” they all chorused.
Alex pursed his lips and rocked on the balls of his feet, suddenly regretting every decision he’d made that had brought him to this point in his life. “Yep.”
“I thought your thing with him finished like six months ago?” Julie said.
“Well, there wasn’t really much of a thing to finish,” Reggie reasoned, “just Alex’s pining from afar that had lasted for like four years–”
“Yes, thank you, Reginald,” Alex interrupted. It wasn’t that Reggie was wrong, Alex just didn’t like how right he was. “And yeah, it did… I guess. But then we were hanging out together a few months ago and it was really nice and we started doing it more often and eventually he asked me on a date.”
Alex was overly aware that every word he had just said was an utter lie. Firstly, he had never really got over Willie – Willie wasn’t the sort of person you could just forget or move on from, even though Alex had never actually dated him. Secondly, Alex and Willie hadn’t actually hung out together alone in quite a while. Willie had been busy with their blossoming art career, going to different presentations and awards shows, trying to make a name for himself; Alex, on the other hand, had been doing his best to avoid dating anyone. And thirdly, Willie had never once asked Alex on a date.
He knew he should have backtracked, told them the truth, but he was in far too deep.
“This has been going on for a few months?” Luke said incredulously. “How have you kept it from us that long? Dude, you just let Reggie and I spend literally all our free time trying to find you a boyfriend!”
“I never asked you to do that.”
“You could have told us to stop,” Reggie said.
“I did,” Alex returned. “Several times.”
Julie raised her hands placatingly. “Okay, okay. That’s not important right now. What’s important is that Alex and Willie are finally together. Are you sure they’ll be alright with you telling us while he’s not here?”
Alex shrugged, trying to act like he wasn’t too sure (which was easy because he’d never been less sure of anything at any time in his life). “Umm… well… we haven’t really talked about it much, but… you know, I’m sure he won’t mind too much. I’ll tell them tonight.”
Julie smiled warmly. “Well, I’m happy for you in any case. It’s nice that you’ve finally got what you wanted for so long.”
“Amen to that,” Luke said, finally picking up his guitar. Alex had all but forgotten they were supposed to be practising instead of talking about his very fake relationship with Willie which Willie didn’t even know about. “And Reg and I can finally stop looking for someone.”
“Could’ve stopped before you’d even started,” Alex said, sitting down behind his drumkit, “but alright.”
He knew that sooner or later he would have to tell Willie what he’d done and he was absolutely dreading it. Willie was a very chill person and Alex knew they’d probably find it funny more than anything, but it was still a daunting prospect. But for now, he focused himself on his drums, hammering out all of that excess anxiety, and forgetting the absolute nightmare he’d created for himself just for a little bit.
*
It was nearing one o’clock in the morning and Alex was very much not ready to go to sleep. For one thing, he was still wearing his clothes instead of pyjamas, and for another he was pacing his room like a caged lion with anxiety and had been doing so for almost three hours. He was trying to build up the courage to call Willie and let him know what had gone on, but he was so nervous that he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to string a sentence together if Willie picked up the phone.
He knew he would just have to bite the bullet. He couldn’t put it off forever or it would end in disaster. For the thousandth time he reminded himself that Willie was the kindest, funniest, most good-natured person he knew and that he had nothing to be scared of when it came to telling them that he had made a massive, probably damning mistake. Willie would be fine with it, Alex knew.
Before he could dwell on it a second longer, Alex dialled Willie’s number and let it ring.
It only rang twice before Willie picked up. Even though it was late, Alex had known Willie would pick up (the guy hardly slept at all) and he fought the urge to tell him to go to bed.
“Morning,” Willie said chirpily.
Alex checked the time and blinked in surprise; he hadn’t realise how long he’d been pacing for.
“Yeah, I guess it is,” he said. “How come you’re still awake?”
“Mario Kart,” they replied. Alex could practically hear Willie’s smile – suddenly there were butterflies in his already anxious stomach and they certainly weren’t helping. “Why are you still awake? I thought your bedtime was half nine.”
“It hasn’t been in two years and you know that,” Alex said. Willie giggled brightly which teased a smile out of Alex. “I, uh… I actually need to talk to you about something that happened today.”
Just get on with it, he told himself, don’t drag it out.
“Oh?” Willie said. “What is it? You sound nervous – do you need me to come over?”
“No,” Alex told him, “it’s late – or maybe early. Either way, you don’t need to come all the way to my place just so I can tell you this.”
“It sounds serious.”
“It might be,” Alex admitted. “It depends on how you take it.”
There was a brief silence on the other end and for a moment Alex wondered if Willie had decided to end the conversation, but then they said, “Alright, let me just pause the game.”
Another short pause as Willie stopped mid-race. Alex took the opportunity to collect himself, shake out his nerves. It would be fine. Willie would be fine with it.
“Okay,” he said a moment later. “I’m back. What’s going on, hotdog?”
Alex scratched awkwardly at the back of his neck, suddenly unsure where to start.
“Okay,” he began uncertainly. “Well… Luke and Reg have been trying to set me up with someone for a while now and I’ve been trying to avoid it as much as I can. I’ve sort of run out of excuses and you know how difficult it is for me to say no to them.”
Willie hummed knowingly. “Like with the Great Cactus Robbery of 2019.”
Alex winced at the memory – he hadn’t realised cactus spikes hurt quite that much, but he’d gone through with a lot that night for Luke and Reggie’s sake.
“Don’t remind me,” he said witheringly. “Anyway, you know what I’m talking about then. They told me about another guy earlier today and I really needed another excuse to give them. I tried just point-blank telling them no, but then they started asking questions and…”
“And?” Willie prompted.
“I told them I was seeing someone,” Alex said. There was silence on the other end. “I told them I was seeing you.”
After a moment or two (that felt like an eternity) Willie burst out laughing. Alex sighed, affronted, but he supposed it was one of the better reactions he could have got. At least Willie wasn’t angry at him.
“Why?” Willie wheezed between laughs. “Was that seriously the first thing that came to your mind?”
“Yes,” Alex grumbled. “I was under a lot of pressure. You were the obvious choice.”
They giggled happily and Alex realised just how true those words had been – whether he liked it or not, Willie would always be the obvious choice for him.
“Well, I’m flattered,” they told him, blatantly trying to contain their giggles. “Thank you for thinking of me, hotdog.”
“You’re welcome,” Alex said. “But I’m sorry about it too. I’ve created an absolute mess and dragged you into it, so I understand if you’re angry at me.”
“Does it sound like I’m angry at you?”
“No?”
“That’s because I’m not,” Willie said kindly. “I get it, man, you just panicked. No big deal. Besides, we can ride this out easily.”
Alex blinked. “We can?”
“Sure, man, it’ll be fun. We’ll pretend to date for a few weeks, have a friendly breakup, and then everything can go back to normal.”
“You’re sure?” Alex checked. This hadn’t been what he was expecting – he’d thought Willie would say it didn’t matter but he needed to come clean. He hadn’t been expecting the offer of dating.
Fake dating, said that irritating little voice in his head. It’s not real. Don’t let yourself forget that.
“Of course I’m sure,” they said. “I mean, it’s totally cool if you don’t want to, but surely it’ll be easier than backtracking completely with the others. And it’ll get Reggie and Luke off your back for a little while longer.”
He considered it, weighing up the pros and cons. On one hand, he’d get to date Willie at last, something he’d wanted to do since he met him. It would give them more of a chance to hang out together, Luke and Reggie would stop pestering him, and it was always fun to harmlessly mess with his friends. On the other hand, he wasn’t sure his sentimental little heart could stand getting to date Willie and then having him taken away even if that was the arrangement from the very start.
But it was a sacrifice he was willing to make.
“Alright,” he said resolutely. “I’m in.”
“Cool,” Willie returned happily. “Shall we meet tomorrow to discuss, you know, like, boundaries and stuff like that?”
“Sounds great. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He heard Willie press play on his game, the unmistakable sound of an item box being broken on Mario Kart.
“See you tomorrow, Alex,” Willie said. “Or maybe now we’re dating I should be calling you ‘babe’ or something.”
If that made Alex’s heart flutter, he wouldn’t say anything about it. “We’ll go over pet names tomorrow. Goodnight, Willie.”
“Goodnight, babe.”
As Alex put his phone down and launched himself into bed (still fully clothed but suddenly far too tired to even consider getting changed) he thought to himself that there probably couldn’t have been a better outcome.
*
Alex had expected the meeting with Willie to feel awkward and weirdly formal, but it was completely the opposite. Both of them were in high spirits the whole time, jokingly holding hands and making heart eyes at each other, laughing every time one of them used a particularly ridiculous pet name for the other. (When Alex had called Willie ‘sugarpoops’ he had thought they might die from laughing.)
But the meeting was productive too. They set some effective boundaries – any touching was allowed, just not too intimate; kissing was fine, but only to prove a point; and just for the fun of it they agreed they had to act like the most sickeningly in-love couple the world had ever known. Alex didn’t really care if that would give the whole thing away, it seemed like a bit of fun and it would be useful when it came to reminding himself that none of this was actually real.
That bit, he had to admit, still stung.
He and Willie had arranged to meet Luke, Reggie, and Julie at the studio that afternoon, so spent the day together beforehand. Just to try and get into the swing of things, they treated their morning together as a mini date. Alex took Willie to minigolf, then they went to an ice cream parlour, and after that Willie tried to teach Alex how to skateboard for fifteen minutes before Alex got too nervous and gave up. It was fun and Alex tried not to think about the fact that this was the reality he was missing out on – if he imagined he was just hanging out with Willie as a friend, which in a way he was, then it was just about bearable.
They arrived outside the studio together and they could hear the other band members’ voices already inside. Alex’s stomach started squirming nervously which he thought was weird. He didn’t actually have anything to be nervous about – he and Willie weren’t really dating.
But still, he was starting to feel a little bit queasy and was seriously considering just running away.
Then he felt Willie’s hand slip into his and their fingers lace together. He looked down at them and saw that he had a kind, soft smile on his face, gently encouraging.
“Ready to be my boyfriend, sweetheart?” Willie asked teasingly.
The nerves didn’t disappear, but Alex found it a lot easier to ignore them after that.
“Always,” he said. “Let’s do this.”
Without another moment’s hesitation, Alex pushed open the studio door and led Willie inside. Julie, Luke, and Reggie all hushed immediately and looked at the couple like they’d been caught red-handed. If their guilty expressions were anything to go by, they had been talking about Alex and Willie before they had walked in. He could only guess as to what they had been saying, but at that point Alex hardly thought it mattered.
It was showtime.
“Hey guys,” he said, grinning broadly. “What are you talking about?”
The three all responded at the same time but with wildly different answers.
“That gig next week,” blurted Luke.
“I lost my favourite hairclip,” Julie explained.
“I’m thinking of buying a horse,” Reggie told them.
Alex and Willie looked at each other, trying to hide their amusement.
“Anyway,” Julie said, “doesn’t matter what we were talking about! Because you’re here now, both of you! And you’re dating!”
Without warning, Willie giggled brightly and attached himself to Alex like a koala to a tree. Alex laughed and threw his arms around Willie, holding them tightly, pressing a firm kiss to the top of their head.
“I feels so good to finally have it out in the open,” Willie gushed, gazing at Alex with pure adoration in his eyes. “Right, sugarplum?”
Alex gently rubbed the tip of his nose against Willie’s, fighting the urge to laugh. “Of course, my little cheesecake.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Alex could see his friends’ expressions – he had to close his eyes so he wouldn’t be able to see them, otherwise he definitely would have broken character and started laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe. Luke looked utterly horrified, like the display of affection was disgusting; Julie was staring at the two of them wide-eyed, her face flushed red, looking like she would rather be anywhere else; and Reggie just looked baffled.
After a while, Julie cleared her throat and the couple turned to look at her innocently.
“So,” she said, “we’ve heard Alex’s version of the story, but Willie – how did… all this happen?”
Willie linked his arm through Alex’s marched the two of them over to the couch and sat Alex down, then sat primly on his lap, laying their head against Alex’s shoulder. “I’m so glad you asked.”
“I’m not,” Luke muttered, “this is weird.”
Julie kicked his shin and he shut his mouth.
“I had been watching Alex from afar ever since we met, but I didn’t think a cool, handsome drummer could ever care about someone like me. I was convinced we would only ever be friends. But then we hung out together and I saw all these different sides to his personality – he’s so caring and soft, you know, and he means everything he says. Alex isn’t like anyone I’ve ever met. So I decided to just go for it, ask him out, admit how I feel.”
Alex stroked a hand through Willie’s hair, eyes fixed on him. “Since then we’ve never looked back. And we never will.”
“Oh, my darling!” Willie exclaimed, throwing themself at Alex and pressing a kiss to his lips.
It certainly wasn’t how Alex had envisioned his first kiss with Willie going (and he had envisioned a great many different versions of it) but in a strange way it felt just right. Sure, they weren’t dating, but they were hanging out together, having fun, being in each other’s company and loving every second of it. Maybe the circumstances weren’t exactly what Alex wanted, but the love they held for one another was still there, nothing could take that away.
So maybe it wasn’t the best decision he’d ever made, but Alex let himself get lost in the kiss. He didn’t know how many times he’d get to do this in his life, so he figured it was better to make the most of it. He blocked out the fact that his friends were right there (a sure sign that he wasn’t thinking straight – absently he knew that he would be very embarrassed by this when it was all over) and just focused on Willie.
And he was sure he wasn’t imagining the fact that Willie seemed to be enjoying it just as much.
When Julie eventually cleared her throat again, they separated. But Alex couldn’t take his eyes off Willie. He knew he wasn’t imagining what he’d felt in that kiss – like sparks had flown between them, forcing their dynamic into something much more than friendly banter and an inside joke. Willie’s eyes were glassy and he was breathing heavily, scanning Alex’s face for something, though Alex didn’t know what. All he knew was that the kiss had pushed the boundaries they had spent all morning setting and if he wasn’t more careful he would lose himself to this silly little charade.
The five of them spent the rest of the afternoon and evening just talking to each other. Willie stayed firmly planted in Alex’s lap and they both used the occasional cutesy nickname for each other, but it seemed as if both of them had silently made the decision to tone things down a little bit. Luke seemed relieved about it at least – for all the heart eyes he made at Julie he certainly seemed uncomfortable at the affection Alex and Willie had shown. It was probably because Alex hardly ever showed love like that in front of people.
But god, he wanted to do it all again.
Luckily, it didn’t seem like any of their friends suspected Alex and Willie of lying to them. By the time they were all on their way home – Alex and Willie walking away hand in hand – nobody had brought up the fact that it could all be fake.
“That went well,” Willie said as they walked along the seafront, heading back to his place. The cold night breeze lifted their hair and Alex couldn’t keep his eyes off them, not when they were looking so beautiful.
“Yeah,” he said, watching the way the amber glow of the streetlamps danced in Willie’s eyes. “It did.”
“Have you thought about how long we’re going to do this for?” Willie asked. Alex was sure he heard nervousness in Willie’s tone, maybe mingled with hope.
He shrugged. “A few weeks maybe. Unless you had something else in mind.”
“No, no, that’s fine, man.” They had arrived at Willie’s apartment building and stopped just outside of it. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“Yeah,” Alex said, smiling smally. “See you tomorrow.”
He didn’t know what he was thinking – he had expected a goodnight kiss from Willie, but instead he was left alone in the cold as Willie let go of his hand and hurried into the building. Alex was suddenly reminded again that it was all fake, that he shouldn’t have expected kisses when they were alone.
It hurt though. He knew that kiss earlier had been more than just top-notch acting.
He fell asleep that night, still thinking about it, the memory replaying on a loop in his mind. In one way or another, Willie was going to drive him crazy.
*
The next two weeks flew by. Alex found himself hanging out just with Willie more and more often, playing Mario Kart together at Willie’s insistence, going on more dates that weren’t actually dates, or even just video-chatting each other while doing their own separate things to enjoy the company.
After that first day as a “couple”, Alex was sure Willie’s confidence had been knocked. For the next few days they withdrew himself from Alex and Alex didn’t know if he’d done something wrong or if it was just something on Willie’s mind. Still, he let Willie work through it, and a few days later he was back to normal, clinging to Alex like a barnacle to a ship, calling him every pet name under the sun.
And still their friends were none the wiser.
The end of their time as a couple came all too quickly. Alex walked Willie back to his apartment again, a heaviness in his heart. He didn’t know how an actual breakup felt, but he was willing to bet that a breakup would be less painful than whatever this was. No part of him wanted to give this up, whatever silly little thing was going on between him and Willie – it was fun, it was freeing, it gave Alex a light feeling in his chest and made him so happy he thought he might burst at any moment. He didn’t want to give any of it up.
But still he walked Willie to his door.
They stood facing each other, hands interlinked between them, sad smiles on each of their faces. Alex tried to memorise every detail on Willie’s face as if it was the last time he would see them.
“This has been fun,” he said eventually, his voice low, quiet in the night air.
“You can say that again,” Willie agreed. “I loved being your boyfriend.”
“I loved being your boyfriend.”
Something flickered in Willie’s eyes, an expression gone too quickly for Alex to name, but it was quickly forgotten because a moment later Willie stood up on his tiptoes and kissed Alex.
It wasn’t like any of the other kisses they had shared in the past few weeks. There was nothing over-the-top and exaggerated about it, it wasn’t just a stunt they pulled to fool their friends. It was slow and soft and Alex felt the rest of his body go fuzzy and numb as all he could concentrate on was Willie’s lips on his.
An eternity later, Willie pulled away, his eyes scanning Alex’s face.
Alex swallowed heavily and said, “I thought we could only kiss each other to prove a point.”
Willie nodded. “Did I not get my point across very well? Do I need to kiss you again?”
Alex almost laughed but something stopped him. “Just… just explain it to me first. So I don’t get the wrong idea.”
“I loved being your boyfriend,” Willie said. “You enjoyed being my boyfriend. So… why should we stop?”
Alex felt his head spin. Somehow the nightmare he’d created for himself all those weeks ago was turning into a dream come true.
“You mean that?” he asked. “Tell me you mean that, Willie, please.”
“I mean it,” Willie said resolutely. “I’ve felt this way about you for too long just to let it go. If you want me then I want you. I want to date you, Alex. For real.”
Alex kissed him again, short but sweet.
“Is that a yes?” Willie asked, giggling.
“There’s no other answer I could have ever given.”
Even though they remained boyfriends (real ones this time), Alex and Willie decided to drop the over-the-top, lovey-dovey stuff. It was fun, but it wasn’t them. Instead, they chose to fill every second together with quiet declarations of love, casual dates, soft kisses, nothing that wasn’t real.
But they never did tell Luke, Reggie, and Julie how much of it had been fake.
*
Taglist (if you want to be added or removed just let me know): @ace-bookworm @williexmercer @boggie-brainrot @itstiger720 @the-reckless-and-the-brave @that-one-newsie @bluedarkness @lookingthroughmirrors @tmp-jatp @salty-star @julieandthequeers @lmaohuh @sunnysbright @sylphrenas @callmeontheleyline
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Survey #428
“there’s more money in tragedy, more net worth in self-pity  /  so you’re doubling down inside of your screen, hiding behind attention you seek”
Have you ever told someone, besides family, that you love them and meant it? Yeah. I've told friends that platonically, and I've said it to two people and romantically meant it. Are the blankets that are on your bed now made by someone you know in life? No. Have you seen all The Lord of the Rings movies? I haven't even seen one. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had in 2014? I had one. Can you walk in heels? I mean I can, but I don't like to. What does your mom say about the pictures on your Myspace? First the '14 question, now this... I don't think Mom ever had a Myspace, but I can answer for Facebook. She's always the person to "heart" react them and say something about how "beautiful" I am or something. ;x; What was the last thing you and your parents argued about? Idr. Do you feel your life is at its best? Fuck no. There better be better times than this. What do you worry about the most? The most? That's hard to say... but probably my career future. Or really just the future in general. Have you ever let someone be your everything? "Everything" still feels like an understatement. He was my source of happiness, a massive part of my own identity, and my promise for a better future. It was so, so unhealthy. Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in their arms? Two times, I wanna say? What are some things you do when you’re mad? I get snappy and try to isolate myself to cry it out. How do you feel about your hair right now? I hate itttt. It's getting too long and just boring. I'm hoping I can get up with my hairdresser soon for a trim. What’s an interesting fact about you that not many people know? Uhhhh... I guess that I was a dancer for many years. I feel like I don't really fit the general "aesthetic" of dancers, so people have definitely been surprised to find out I was one. Do you do anything embarrassing when no one is home? No. Just because no one ELSE is there, I'd embarrass my damn self lol. If you had the chance to move to a completely different state/county, would you? Fuck yes I would. Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? It's funny, because that's what the traumatized, overly-attached part of me wants (at the bare minimum), but my common sense knows that's dumb as fuck. I could never healthily be friends with him. Are you scared of fireworks? No, but others are terrified by them, so keep that in mind. Does anyone know every little detail about you? No. You woke up one day and discovered that you were only able to see in black and white… as well as one other colour. What colour would that be and why? I guess red? It sounds morbid for it to be the first thing my mind goes to, but that way, I'd be able to see blood and therefore be able to detect a symptom of danger. What is your favourite soundtrack for a film/video game/television show? (Though feel free to name as many!) Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus have fucking LEGENDARY soundtracks. What is your favourite Pokémon? Ninetales! I also really love Espeon and Umbreon, too. And Charmander. And Pikachu. And Skitty. And... well, too many, ha ha. What is something your best friend of the opposite sex does that you can’t stand? He calls me "kid" a lot. Is the last book you read a really well-known book? It's not world-famous or anything, but it seems relatively known by teens/young adults. At least, I follow a lot of artists who make fanart for it. Do you have anything besides just songs downloaded on your iPod? No. When at the beach, do you spend more time on the beach or in the ocean? In the water. I hate the beach itself. Do you have any siblings you absolutely despise? Why do you despise them? No. Have you ever babysat before? Did you enjoy this job? Yes, and no, not at all. Have you ever busted a window before? Why did you bust it? No. Do you still get scared watching old horror movies? You watch them alone? Horror movies pretty much never scare me, never mind old cheesy ones. I don't mind watching them alone. Do knives scare you? Is it from watching scary movies? I'm terrified of big knives, and it has nothing to do with movies. It's a fear that started after Mom stopped me from a suicide attempt where I was going to slit my throat with one. They just radiate danger for me. Have you ever tried to sing opera? Did it work out for you or no? No. What was the last piece of furniture you purchased? I've never bought any furniture, and I don't recall the last thing Mom bought. Have you ever broken up with someone for a reason other than lack of feelings (ex. moving away, etc.)? Yeah; we split because we were essentially two shaky towers leaning against one another. We have to learn to straighten ourselves up independently before that relationship even becomes a "maybe" again. Has anyone ever told you that you are too picky when it comes to the people you date? What about not picky enough? Neither. Was there anything unusual or unique about your birth? Nothing really, besides being born in an icestorm. My birth itself was totally normal, as far as I know. Mom considers it pretty extraordinary though because according to her, I took one look at her and smiled so big. Says a lot about our relationship now. What was the best conversation you’ve had recently? *shrug* What is the next book you are going to read? The book that comes next in the series I'm reading. Who was the last person to do something nice for you? My mom does nice things for me every day, like making dinner, letting me live under her roof... a lot of stuff. Is there any artwork in the room you’re in? Yeah, some of my stuff. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yeah. Someone asks you what you want; what do you say? Happiness. Direction. What was the last thing you complained about? Just being incredibly sore. The gym's kicking my ass, but it needs to, so I'm fine with it. How do you feel when you hear other people complaining? It depends on how frequently and about what. It can become overwhelming sometimes, especially if it's over something truly trivial. Has your name been in someone’s Facebook status lately? No. Do you own any Sims games? Which ones? I have the original animals one, as well as the African animals one (which I surprisingly like less). What was your first job? I was a sales associate at GameStop. Do people praise you for your looks? Yeah, definitely not. Do you like your eyes? No. I wish they were bluer and wider. Tell me what your back pack looks like: My last one was a galaxy texture. What celebrity do you think is hot? HMMMMMMMMMMMM I DON'T KNOW????????????? NEVER SEEN ONE IN MY LIFE O: O: O: Last movie you saw in theatre: The The Lion King remake. Has someone you were dating ever cheated on you? No. What’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you? I'd rather not dig through the memories to find what I'd consider the "cutest." What was the last thing you heated up in your microwave? A chicken pesto bowl for lunch. Did you ever watch Phil of the Future? Occasionally, but I was never big on it. Do you have an online game that you play often? I play World of Warcraft pretty much daily. Do you prefer regular or electric toothbrushes? Electric. What was the last thing to piss you off? Truly piss me off, I'm not sure. When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? Months ago in my room. I want to take a new one to update my Facebook profile pic, because I think I'm ready to return there. Who was the last person to pay you a compliment or praise? The first day at the gym, Mom told me she was extremely proud of me, and it meant a lot. I truly think I can stick to this, and it's a fucking phenomenal feeling. What’s one thought you have regarding the subject of love? It can be the most beautiful thing in the world, yet simultaneously has the capability to be one of the most painful. Do you think that it’s possible to fall in love at a young age like eleven or twelve? Who am I to say, honestly. I lean towards no because at the age of puberty, you're really all over the place with your hormones and emotions, and I just don't know if it's possible for two pre-teens to have the maturity level to grasp what it truly means to be in love with someone. But again, what do I really know? Everyone is different. Are sex and sexual activities something you enjoy? Yeah sure, if it's something I'm in the mood to engage in and I'm in love with the person. What’s an interesting fact about the state in which you were born? We're the home of Pepsi products. I know, of course I would share a fact about soda, ha ha. What’s one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? Where I am now as far as "adult development" goes. I don't drive. I don't have a job. I still live with my mother. I could go on and on... By this point, I definitely expected something much, much different when I was younger. What was the last event to cause you any sort of heartache? Hm. I don't know. What was the worst phase you’ve ever gone through? *shrug* What excuse did you use most often to skip school? There were times I'd pretend to have a really bad cough. I could fake a nasty cough, man. Are you shy about singing in front of people? Very. Honestly, do you put your elbows on the dinner table? Yes, because why the fuck would that matter. I don't get how something so simple and harmless is "bad manners." Have you ever taken a picture in a public bathroom? No. Yes or no: corsets? I. FUCKING. LOVE. CORSETS. UGH I wish I could pull one off, omfg. In your opinion, is money the root of all evil? All evil? No. There are some horrible crimes people can commit that have nothing to do with money. Do you own a pair of overalls? Ew, no. I hate overalls. What is the best game to play while in the car? Uh, idk. Has a movie ever made you jump in fear? I'm sure at some point. Jumpscares are hard to be unfazed by; it's just a natural reaction to something sudden. Yes or no: pickles? Bro I LOVE pickles. Yes or no: strawberry ice cream? Ugh, no. Do you know what your mom’s favorite movie is? No, actually. Are you a role model to anybody? No fucking way I am. Do you know how much you weighed at birth? Somewhere around six or seven pounds. Look outside the nearest window. What can you see? From where I'm at, I can just see the shed. What are you interested in that most people would be surprised to know? Cutesy, pastel stuff, probably. How many bathrooms are in your house? Two. Do you prefer stripes or polka dots? Polka dots. Are you considered a very sensitive person? Very. Have you ever told someone you never wanted to speak to them again? Yes. What’s the weather like today? Is it nice enough to go outside? It's hot as fuck outside. You will NOT see me outside today. What does your last text message say and who is it from? It's just a thumbs up emoji from the woman who works at my psychiatrist's office. She schedules my phone appointments with him. Do you listen to any podcasts? How do you listen to them? No. Why did you leave your last job? It was WAY too fast-paced with lots of responsibilities that I just couldn't handle. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying? No, that's awful. What’s your favorite scent of air freshener? Probably something floral and subtle. Are your hands and feet in good condition or could you do with a mani-pedi? Ugh. I pick my fingernails off badly, so they're a mess rn. I also DISDAIN my feet because they are horribly callused from when I used to walk like crazy. It's so weird how I can exfoliate the area and scrub (... and sometimes tear) them off, but they're pretty much immediately back. When was the last time you played a board game? What did you play? A couple years ago with Girt and Sara, I think. We played Scrabble. How old were you when you first became sexually active? Do you mean like, doing anything sexual? In which case that would be 16. I woulda been 16 or 17 when I actually lost my virginity, though. Do you know anyone who has been through a divorce? A load of people. Does anyone not know somebody? Have you ever done a juice cleanse? No. Do you have to pay for parking in most places in the town/city you live in? No. That's a foreign concept here. It's one of the very alien things I experienced in Chicago; I don't really think I knew it was a thing (save for massive attractions, like Disney Word and stuff) before then. Can you hear lots of traffic from your house? Does it bother you? No. We live in a cul-de-sac, and our road is further into it, away from the main road.
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mitchsmarners · 4 years
Text
writing prompt masterlist #1
 Of course, there’s 75 million prompt lists out there but i figured there’s nothing wrong with making my own. Send me a category + a number + a pairing and i’ll write you a fic. Okay to reblog and use :) (x)
Fake/Secret/Etc Dating AUs:
my parents keep setting me up on blind dates but in reality I’m dating you and it’s so you help me get out of them
i hate commitment but my dad’s dying wish is to see me get married and you’re an old family friend i ran into at the airport on my way to visit him so hey let’s get engaged
you need a plus-one for your brother’s wedding so i’m going as a favor but there’s been a misunderstanding and now your whole family thinks we’re engaged
i’m mad at my parents so i ask you out because they wouldn’t approve of you and you’re well aware that i’m just using you but you agree because you find it funny but hey you’re actually super sweet
there’s this really creepy person hitting on me and i don’t know you but you pretending to be my partner completely saved my ass thanks how about i buy you a drink
we’re just really touchy friends and we get each other gifts all the time but everyone thinks we’re going out and we let them think that but why are you getting upset about me going on a date we’re not actually together? 
I’m sorry you always thought your love for me was unrequited but on to more important matters YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED IN THE MORNING SO YOU HAVE A DECISION TO MAKE YOU ASSHOLE!
Our mutual friend apparently has been waiting for us to get together and so they’re very angry/disappointed/upset when they find out that the reason we kissed last night was because we were black-out drunk
everyone thinks we hate each other and we keep that front up in public, so we have hilarious pretend fights and squabbles and pranks 
when we were little I accidentally mentioned that I had a crush on you but I always thought you didn’t hear me because you just looked at me weird and never commented but now we’re in high school and omg you just introduced me as your boyfriend/girlfriend/datemate wtf we never discussed this
friends to lovers aus
You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you
You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really miss it and fuck I think I like you too?
 You want us both to get in shape and I hate working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do for my friends and their nice asses
Our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now��
Celebrity/Famous AUs
listen, you may be a famous (and extremely attractive) guitarist, but that gives you no right to practise on the electric at two a.m when we live right next to each other.
We broke up and I used my feelings to write songs and now I’m super popular and you want me back
we decided to make a fake vlog drama for our subscribers and they all think it’s real but jokes on us we end up actually liking each other
I run a prank channel and you were some innocent bystander I pranked for a video but then it turns out hey, you’re also famous online haha shit
we met and started talking but i didn’t know you were a rising star until i noticed cameras following me wtf
you’re a reporter and i think you’re super cute so i’ll only give you personal interviews to help your career and also get you to talk to me more
I’m a celebrity and I have a secret social media account and we started talking online and now we’re close friends but you want to meet up oh shit
I’m a celebrity and I may or may not be following your blog which is dedicated to me. reading your comments and tags are hilarious and very flattering and I’m somewhat smitten  
You’re an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do??
wedding/kids/marriage/long term relationship AUs
we’ve been dating forever, and you just caught the bouquet at our friend’s wedding
remember when we were in high school and we swore that if we were still single at 30 we’d marry each other, well hey guess whose birthday it is
i’m a runaway bride/groom and you’re driving my getaway car
I suddenly bumped into you after years and wow you look good but holy crap is that a kid?? since when?
you had a breakdown because the baby wouldn’t stop crying and you kept saying how you weren’t ready and how you couldn’t do it
whenever my kid starts crying I just hand them to you and then they just stop and start smiling
“i’m so sorry that my child pointed out how your shirt- actually nevermind i agree, that shirt is horrendous”
i always tease you because that’s just our thing we tease each other but for some reason you snapped at me and are you okay? what’s wrong?
my in-laws despise me GREAT but around you they’re super nice so you don’t believe me
neighbours AUs
You always complain about how loud I am (whether it be TV, video games or music/musical instrument is up to you) and this is the first time you’ve actually knocked on my apartment door and given me a lecture there rather than giving me a phone call, but I’m not really listening because I didn’t  realise I had such a cute neighbour
you never open your door for children on halloween so i always pay the kids to smear your door with shaving cream
my printer isnt printing anymore and my papers are due tomorrow so im on my knees in front of your door begging to use your printer when the old lady from above passes us and thinks im proposing to you
we always run into each other on the stairs but we’ve never said more than hello but when we found out that we both hate the other neighbours, we became friends
i came home drunk and wouldnt stop knocking on your door. when you open i keep telling you to get out of my apartment
after a rough party night i find you sleeping on the stairs but since im still a little asshole all i do is put a blanket over you and a pillow under your head
Please help me, I know you have a kid and my sibling just dropped their baby on me where’s the button to put them to sleep?
I’m stressed and sleep-deprived, please let me pet your cat. 
I have really weird dreams and you have really weird dreams so now we’re in this contest to see who has the weirdest dreams.
Strangers/Meet Cute (or meet very NOT cute) AUs 
We were sitting next to each other in a public place and I saw a mosquito on you and my instincts just acted before my mind.
We mixed up our clothes at the laundry service and I have nothing left to wear and every thing you wear is too big/small for me.
We’re at a comic book store and if you tell me your superhero is better than mine I’m gonna have to punch you in the teeth.
There are no table left at this restaurant and you let me sit at yours since you’re alone.
I’m a single grown-up with busy friends but I want to go to Disneyland so I drop a message on a forum to find someone like me to go wear silly Mickey ears headband and stuff ourselves with cotton candy.
My computer broke down so I called an IT and now I need to find a reason to call them back so I delete important files and download adwares and do all kinds of stupid things. 
I almost dropped something and in my fumbling attempts to stop it from hitting the floor I accidentally projectiled it at your face and it’s a really nice face I’m so sorry
first day at a new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night
I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck at the top? Fuck
 Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this
college/high school AUs:
i went on a date with a boy who had plans to take me to dinner and drinks. but he lost his wallet at a pizza place so we just walked around the neighborhood, sat in the park and talked.
we’re in the same study group but we dont talk but you brought goldfish and im starving
we have the same notebook and we took the wrong ones home so i used your notes on my open book test
you were my elementary school crush but you moved away but somehow we end up miraculously going to the same college and i barely recognized you because holy hot damn you are more attractive than i remember?
I tripped over on my way to this party and I’m bleeding profusely from the grazes on my knees and you’re a complete stranger that pretty much jumped me the second I walked in the door to play nurse
ive had a crush on you for 3+ years and now youre going out with my best friend and i definitely havent locked myself in a toilet cubicle to cry
We’re in different debate classes and I was constructing a case on the board and I come in the next morning and you’ve replied to all my points really well?? But I don’t even know your name? And oh shit, we’re taking over the entire whiteboard, is that your phone number squeezed into the corner of the board there?
You have braces and I don’t and I keep forgetting you’re not allowed to have gum so every time I offer, you give this death glare
You sent me a text asking if I wanted to go to prom on the day of prom and I’m not in town
I’m a notorious goody two shoes and you look like you get into fights on a daily basis, so when you were in the library on the first day I was supposed to be a tutor, I assumed I’d be tutoring you. But, as it turns out, we’re both tutors, and the people we’re tutoring keep blowing us off to make out and we have to go round them up
we have a mutual best friend but they cannot find out how much i like you then they’ll tell you, but i need to find out if you’re single!
I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think it’s hilarious 
You pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait you’re cuter up close
soulmate aus
if one soulmate gets an injury, the other gets it as well.
Character A has a soulmate, but Character A died before they got to meet them. As Character A navigates the afterlife in their ghostly form, they discover that they can’t “move on” until they’ve met their soulmate.
 the very first words your soulmate ever says to you are tattooed somewhere on your body since the day you are born
when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever, it will show up on your soul mates skin as well.
You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or something
you have a compass on your wrist and it directs you to where your soulmate is
i usually think i’m having a conversation with myself in my head but it turns out we’re telepathically connected
everybody is born with a map “tattooed” on their forearm that’s centered on the exact location of where they’ll first meet their soul mate 
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diez-minutos · 4 years
Text
Love, Ander Part 2
Part 1 // Part 3 coming soon!
           Ander had never really cared about the gossip of Las Encinas. At least, not as much as people wanted him to. His friends were always disappointed when he was never up to date on the latest news. He always remained silent whenever the group sat down to discuss the events of the weekend’s parties. He hated feeling left out, but he just couldn’t bring himself to caring about who hooked up with who. The thing he detested the most of all though was the twitter account.
           A few years back, a couple of students created a twitter account called the “Secrets of Encinas.” According to Carla, it started as a way for girls to anonymously update other girls when their boyfriends were cheating on them. Nowadays it was used to humiliate and embarrass other students. Ander couldn’t stand it.
           “Can you believe the nerve of these people?” Carla slammed her books down on the lunch table. “On the rocks? Are you kidding me? Polo and I have never been better-“
           “Chica, por favor,” Lu rolled her eyes. “You know that account is crap. Half the stuff on there isn’t even true.”
           “You better hope it’s not because there’s stuff about you, too,” Carla muttered without removing her eyes from the screen.
           “What? Give me the phone.”
           “Can we please talk about something else?” Ander groaned.
           “Ander! This is a crisis! They’re all over us! You better cover your tracks, or they’ll spill your secrets.”
           “I don’t have any secrets.”
           Okay. That may not entirely be true. Ander definitely had a secret. A big one. He was pretty sure it all started when he became obsessed with the Harry Potter books. He and Guzman spent an entire summer reading the books and watching the movies. That was the same summer Lu moved to town, and the same summer she and Guzman started dating. Ander didn’t know why, but he became very bothered by their relationship.
When he finally realized why he cared so much, he almost stopped talking to Guzman completely. He couldn’t let anyone know that he was possibly in love with his best friend. Luckily, Ander came to his senses and realized he would rather have Guzman as a friend than to not have him in his life at all.
So maybe Ander had some secrets. But no one ever knew. No one could possibly know, right?
“A gay kid? No way!” Carla’s squeal pulled Ander back to reality and away from his thoughts.
“What?” Ander was so surprised he fell out of his chair.
“A gay kid, Ander,” Lu said matter-of-factly. “Why? Do you have a problem with them?”
“What? No! Of course not!” Ander stood up. “Can I see the post?”
Carla handed him the phone.
 “I feel like no one understands me here. This coming out thing will be much harder than I thought” -Submitted by @aloneintheuniverse
             “Kind of a bummer, right?” Lu’s chin was perched on his shoulder so she could read the post as he did.
           “I thought these were supposed to be anonymous,” Ander handed the phone back to Carla.
           “I guess they created an account just to submit the post. I checked it out though. They don’t have a profile picture or anything.”
           “Poor kid,” Lu paused for a moment. “So, Guzman is throwing this amazing surprise party for Marina’s birthday. You’re both in, right?”
           “Of course!” Carla smiled. “I have the perfect dress!”
           “Great! Ander?”
           “I guess,” he shrugged.
           “You guess? Our whole group is going to be there! Get excited! There will be music, drinks-“
           “Not to mention all the girls that will be there.”
           “Yeah,” Ander nodded. “Yeah, that’s true.”
           “What’s true?” Guzman smiled as he and Polo approached the table.
           “Where have you been?” Lu just about screamed. “Did you tell anyone about what happened after swim practice?”
           “What happened after swim practice?” Polo glanced between the two curiously.
           “Nothing,” Guzman took a seat next to Ander.
           “Just tell him. The whole school already knows,” Lu groaned.
           Suddenly, the load speaker declared: “Guzman Nunier and Lucrecia Montesinos to the principal’s office immediately. Guzman Nunier and Lucrecia Montesinos to the principal’s office.”
           “And apparently the administration knows, too!” Lu snatched her bag and pulled Guzman out of the room and down the hall.
           “What is going on?” Polo exclaimed. He looked at Ander. “Do you know?”
           “Have you even checked the Twitter? Or any of my texts?” Carla sighed. “Secrets of Encinas is after our group.”
           Polo quickly pulled out his phone. His eyes widened before he looked at Carla. “We are not on the rocks.” Ander thought he sounded unsure. Maybe he needed to say it out loud to convince himself more than anyone else.
           “Come on. This is stupid. No one thinks you’re on the rocks.”
           “Everyone thinks Guzman and Lu hooked up after swim practice!” Carla looked more stressed than Ander had ever seen her. “Okay, look at me,” she grabbed Polo’s face. “We are going to Guzman’s party and we’re going to take perfect pictures to prove to everyone that we’re fine. Okay?”
           “Are you sure you’re fine?”
           “Yes, Ander! We’re fine! We’re more than fine! Right?”
           “Of course,” Polo finally spoke. “We’re good.”
           “Good.”
Carla began to explain her plan for the perfect Instagram post when Ander’s phone rang. Ander thanked whatever or whoever was looking out for him. He was so excited to get out of this conversation and finally leave the cafeteria. He saw his best friend’s face light up his screen.
           “Hey.”
           “You gotta tell your mom this is fake.”
           “Is it?”
           “That doesn’t matter right now.”
           “As your best friend, I think it does,” Ander chuckled.
           “Ander, do not mess with me right now. My father will kill me if I get detention again, and Lu can’t have this on her record!            “Okay, fine. I’ll talk to her.”
           “Good. Okay I gotta go. We’re going into her office. Can you call her, or something? Family emergency maybe?”
           “Yeah. Okay.”
           “Thanks, Tio. I owe you one.”
           As soon as the call ended, Ander made his way to his mother’s office. “Ander,” Laura, the woman at the front desk said. “What can I do for you?”
           “Can I speak to my mom?”
           “She’s with some students at the moment-“
           “It’s urgent. I…I’m not feeling very well.”
           “Well, sit down. Let me go get her.”
           Ander sighed as he sat in the familiar yet still uncomfortable chair. How did he get stuck fixing all his friends’ problems? How did he get stuck as the fifth wheel, the only one without a partner by his side? He was surrounded by so many people, but he still felt alone. He wondered if anyone else felt like this.
           He downloaded Twitter and created a new account. He began to search for the only tweet he ever actually cared about. Maybe this person would understand him. It was worth a shot, right?
           He stopped himself. Was he really going to message someone he didn’t know? This person, they were like him. They were saying what he was feeling. He couldn’t give that up. He opened the app when and was about to press the follow button, just to see if anything would happen.
           “Ander?” his mother rushed to his side. “Are you alright?”
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Text
Fanfiction Reader Tag
Tagged by @eyeliner-vampire  ♡ ♡
Fanfiction Reader Tag!
1. When did you start reading Fanfic (How old you were or how long ago)?
When I was probably...11 ish? so like 13 years ago
2. Do you have an AO3 account?
Yeh (LadyWisteria)
3. Do you read WIP (work in progress)? Why or why not?
All the time. I’m not picky about this at all. I’m a simple person. I see fic I think I’ll like? I read. doesn’t matter if it’s finished or not. I’ll make up my own ending til it is lol. also authors need that encouragement. finishing stuff is hard
4. What time of day is your ‘fic reading time’?
Usually late at night (like 1 a.m. and later..much later) but sometimes I’ll waste an afternoon instead (2 p.m. ish til I either have to go to work or I finish the fic)
5. How much time do you spend reading fic per week?
Not remotely as much time as I used, that’s for sure. Anywhere from an hour (if I’m rereading That favorite fic) to 2-4 hours if my friend has sent me a longfic again.
6. Do you listen to podfic (fanfic recorded like an audiobook)?
I...didn’t even know this was a thing tbh, so no. Sounds very neat but also I don’t listen to audio books anymore bcus my attention span re: audio input has gotten so bad over the years I can’t focus for more than a few minutes. 
7. What’s your favorite fic genre to read?
AUs AUs AUs. and fantasy. and fantasy AUs (although good long AU fics are harder to find). I am a very simple person. I see magic mentioned, I read. I also read a lot of romance fic (proving once again that fanfic writing is often better than mainstream original writing, bcus romance is one of my least favorite YA/movie genres). I don’t read as much of them but I also love mystery and paranormal fics
8. Are there any genres that you tend to avoid?
Super angsty no happy ending type stuff. “Major Character Death” is an automatic nope lmao (unless the summary looks reaallyyy interesting or it was recc’d to me). Tragedy is definitely Not my thing
9. What tag(s) do you track?
I don’t track any fic tags (I stopped tracking tags at all since Tumblr changed it from “keeping track of new posts in said tag” to “dropping random posts from that tag into the middle of your dash, and usually the same three”)
10. How do you find new fic?
Nowadays I mostly just read what friends send me or the new stuff a very few writers I follow post, but sometimes I also come across stuff through Twitter or Tumblr and curiosity wins out
11. How do you organize your fic bookmarks?
I..don’t? Is this a thing people do?? If I wanna reread something I either search through my bookmarks by title/author or just. filter by fandom. 
12. Do you subscribe to authors or stories?
Yeh. I only keep up with a very select few of them though. altho part of that is due to several of them being people I followed on fanfic.net years and years ago and never unfollowed, even though our interests may no longer be the same. (the other part is me going “oh I’ll read that later” and then just. never doing it.)
13. What is your favorite fanfic trope?
fake dating and bed sharing are always good
everyone is gay. also Good
14. What kind of plot line are you always here for?
“everything’s the same but they’re soulmates” (oh my god they were soulmates)
mafia AU
MAGIC
I really like in-between scene fics too. the events and character interactions that happen off-screen. I like writing those
15. What can an author do to make you love them?
write about my faves frequently
cool AUs
write about minor characters
good sense of humor
16. What can an author do to make you avoid them?
not into mpreg fics
a/b/o fics make me super wary I usually pass on those, even if the summary looks mildly interesting. they’re rarely if ever done in a way that isn’t rapey and gross
don’t care for fics period that have rapey scenes but you’re supposed to find them romantic
adult/minor ships
characterization is a big deal to me so if I don’t like how they handle the characters, especially faves I probably won’t be back
17. What do kudos mean to you?
when I get one I have a few seconds of “oh someone kinda liked this thing I wrote” and then I carry on about my day >.>;;; (I do appreciate them tho)
18. What kind of commenter are you (No comment, short comment, keyboard smash)?
I don’t comment as often as I mean to or wish I did, but when I do they’re loong comments (I’ve passed the AO3 character limit at least once kshg)
I tend to quote favorite parts and then react to them, and I like to theorize and ask questions about character’s thoughts at a certain part or what author imagines happens before/after the fic
19. Have you ever stopped reading a fic? Why or why not?
Yes. Once because I stumbled into a very sexually explicit fic when that was. Not at all what I was expecting (I was also very young lol), I think there was a very few I quit because they were boring or very poorly written, but most often I “quit” a fic for the same reason I don’t do audio books anymore lmao: because my attention span is sht and my motivation and commitment are extremely fickle things. I either forget or just wander away for a bit and then forget. Often I mean to come back and finish it; it’s just a matter of how long it takes. (I also second hand embarrassed out of a fic so hardcore that it’s been a whole 9 months since I’ve touched it khdfgd)
20. Have you ever read a fic more than once? What is it about that fic that makes you want to read it again?
YES. This requires like a minimum 4 separate posts to really answer but:
Behind Bricks and The Penance of a Killer by Deathbelle
this person is my fricking favorite author ever and these are two of my fricking favorite fics ever, I must’ve reread Behind Bricks 6 or 8 times now and Penance is the BokuAka-centric companion piece to my favorite fic of all time that I always wanted 
Mending Bonds and If the Heart Breaks, Does That Mean There’s No Home? by RussianSunflower3 
Mending Bonds is soft found family fluff centering on a very minor fave of mine and If the Heart Breaks is very angsty found family fluff that also focuses on some minor characters and it always hurts my heart but the ending and the soft middle always heal it right back up (“[Hanamaki] has a heart big enough for everyone in the world, and then some.” ohhhh my godd)
Boiled Frogs by ReginaGalaxia 
this one is. a really hard read centered around emotional abuse and manipulation and hoooo boy it is a rough read especially if you’ve experienced any of that personally but it’s so well written and the character dynamics are great and in its lighter moments it’s fricking hilarious. 
(bits and pieces of) The Roost by Ugglabarn 
 bits and pieces only bcus Roost has a lot of very heavy dark content that I’d have to be in a specific mood to reread the whole thing because it hurts my heart way too much but also it’s one of the best Fukurodani-centric longfics I’ve ever read (PLUS AN AU..!!) and I love love how they write the characters and how much focus there is on the minor members and ships and in its lighter moments Roost is also really funny the most recent chapter was hilarious
Expensive Hotel by Crown_of_Winterthorne
smut. explicit smut. excellent explicit smut with loving polyamorous boyfriends and plenty of consent discussion and kissing. my entire jam right there
Class 1-A Whomst? by Ya_Boi_Hal
this is the funniest chatfic I’ve ever read in my life and the first good chatfic I ever read. absolutely hysterical. also has some really good serious content in the middle and some Aizawa dialogue that punched me right in the feels. 12/10 will read again. sometimes I just randomly say “Mineta whomst??” and cackle to myself
and back in the day it was:
The Flame of Betrayal by DataIntegrationThoughtEntity
I guess traitor! Tahu was a popular trope back when Bionicle fandom was at its peak?? and not everyone liked it apparently but I enjoyed this fic greatly every time I read it it was well written and had interesting OCs and I am actually highly tempted to go reread it again
and Asleep Beneath a Wheat Field by Feline Freak
this was a very peculiar little OC-centric one shot that was also very sad and I don’t know why it grabbed me like it did but I remember rereading it 3 or 4 times at least
21. Do you like sequels?
The fics I like don’t usually come with sequels but The Penance of a Killer is one so Yes
22. Do you like dabbles?
I guess? I haven’t read too many I don’t think but hey, more fic is more fic. Who’s gonna complain about that?
23. What do you wish more fic authors would do?
Write about minor characters more
24. What do you wish more authors would stop doing?
that thing where they latch onto one facet of a character’s personality - or worse, one that fandom made up - and write them as if that’s the only trait they have
25. Do you like one-shots or multi-chapter?
Multi-chapter. I mean both are great obviously but the majority of my faves are multi-chapter and obviously if I like a fic I’m gonna wanna spend as much time in that universe as possible
26. How long do you like chapters to be?
Usually I feel the longer the better. once in a while I’ll hit one that’s so long it’s kind of distracting but extremely rarely
27. What’s your favorite POV (point of view) to read (first, second, third)?
Third
28. What do you think of OC’s?
I didn’t use to care for them very much but as I started reading fic by more advanced writers I found several I really liked. have a very small list of OCs from recent fics I’ve read I would actually kill a man for I love them so much
29. Do you download fic?
No, but seeing as my absolute favorite Bionicle fic vanished off the face of the earth several years ago and I cannot find anything about it an y wh ere sometimes I think about saving my faves. I never got to finish reading that fic and I am absolutely devastated every time I think about it. 
30. Tell me something else about your fic reading! Anything else!
best thing is when my friend and I buddy read a fic and send each other our favorite parts
Tag!
@yaelathewordsmith and @samantha-girlscout  ♡ ♡ ♡
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marymosley · 4 years
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The Harder They Fall: Trump Attorney Moves Against Stormy Daniels And Michael Cohen
C-Span/YouTube Screenshot
There is something crushingly ironic in a recent letter received by former Trump counsel Michael Cohen from current Trump counsel Charles Harder.  Cohen has been getting the word out that he is writing a tell-all book in his latest effort to cash in on his scandalous career.  He then received a letter from Harder that he will sue Cohen if he violates . . . you guessed it . . . his nondisclosure agreement (NDA).  The same grounds that Cohen used against Stormy Daniels.  Speaking of Daniels, she also received mail from Harder, who is seeking hundreds of thousands of dollars for attorneys fees used to represent Trump against her (also a threat made by Cohen in prior litigation).  There are two critical differences in all of this. First, unlike Cohen, Harder is a competent lawyer.  Second, Harder actually has a strong case against both individuals.
A friend of Cohen got the word out through the Daily Beast and other publications that “A lot of [the book] will be about looking at things he’s said and done with women and other [politically incorrect] things. It’ll be an insider’s look about what it was like to be alongside the president for 12 years.”
It is vintage Michael Cohen.  Not only is he still trying to use anyone and anything to make a buck, but he is entirely discarding any ethical and contractual concerns over the interests of his former client.  He presumably obtained this information when doing confidential work for his client since, given his notorious reputation as a legal thug, few people would be interested in Michael Cohen’s view of publicly available facts.
A friend of Cohen told the Daily Beast: “A lot of [the book] will be about looking at things he’s said and done with women and other [politically incorrect] things. It’ll be an insider’s look about what it was like to be alongside the president for 12 years.”
According to the Daily Beast, Harder is citing a NDA that Cohen signed.  Most attorneys do not need a NDA since ethics rules are sufficient to prevent such disclosures, which is precisely why Harder needs to cite the NDA to Cohen.
Harder could simply take some of Cohen’s own words when he was threatening journalists, students, and others deemed a threat to Trump.  For example in threatening a journalist, Cohen wrote:
“Mark my words for it, I will make sure that you and I meet one day over in the courthouse and I will take you for every penny you still don’t have, and I will come after your Daily Beast and everybody else that you possibly know. Do not even think about going where I know you’re planning on going. And that’s my warning for the day.”
Cohen then morphs into a bad rendition of a mobster after being asked for a statement: He warns Mak to “tread very f–king lightly because what I’m going to do to you is going to be f–ing disgusting. . . . Do you understand me? Don’t think you can hide behind your pen because it’s not going to happen. . . . I’m more than happy to discuss it with your attorney and with your legal counsel because motherf—er you’re going to need it.”
Or he could just cite the NDA and wait for Cohen to be Cohen.
Harder also went after Daniels for what could amount to hundreds of thousands of dollars. Daniels sued Trump over a tweet that ridiculed Daniels over her release of a sketch of a man who Daniels claimed approached her one day in a threatening manner after she went public.  It was the subject of widespread ridicule, particularly after the sketch was shown to bear striking resemblance to Daniels’ former boyfriend.  Trump tweeted that it was “a nonexistent man. A total con job, playing the Fake News Media for Fools (but they know it)!”
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Donald J. Trump
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@realDonaldTrump
A sketch years later about a nonexistent man. A total con job, playing the Fake News Media for Fools (but they know it)! https://twitter.com/shennafoxmusic/status/986544764395900928 …
Shenna
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Text Trump 88022@TheRealShenna
Replying to @realDonaldTrump
Oops! This is awkward! @StormyDaniels’s Ex
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#IDTheThug
54.3K
6:08 AM – Apr 18, 2018
Twitter Ads info and privacy
As a public figures in a national controversy, Daniels was in a poor position to bring such a lawsuit.  Moreover, this was a widely shared view.  After she predictably lost the case, Harder hit her with an anti-SLAPP statute claim. Judge S. James Otero agreed that ordered that Daniels pay $292,052.33 in attorney fees and a $1,000 penalty sanction herself under the Texas Citizen Participation Act.
That looked largely symbolic until Daniels recently won a recent false arrest case.  Harder jumped on the news with a new filing in federal court.
To Mr. Trump’s knowledge, Ms. Clifford does not possess any assets in this jurisdiction. Ms. Clifford is a resident of Texas and owns no real property in California. In contrast, she possesses substantial assets in the Southern District of Ohio in the form of the $450,000 in settlement funds being held by that court. Accordingly, Mr. Trump respectfully requests that the Court certify the Attorneys’ Fees Order for registration in the Southern District of Ohio.
He could win that case.
By the way, another figure Michael Avenatti is back in the news. Unlike Cohen who is still awaiting a compassionate release due to the pandemic, Avenatti was released for at least 90 days to go into home confinement in the home of a friend in Venice, California.  Avenatti is due to be sentenced on extortion charges in June.
So, if you thought Trump NDAs, Michael Cohen, Stormy Daniels, and Michael Avenatti are so 2018, think again.
      The Harder They Fall: Trump Attorney Moves Against Stormy Daniels And Michael Cohen published first on https://immigrationlawyerto.tumblr.com/
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hxlenoftroy · 7 years
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So I haven’t done a book rec in a while and I’ve been reading all kinds of wonderful books lately so I thought I’d do a real quick one for you now. They are all inclusive of either lgbt rep*, characters of colour**, disability rep***, mental illness rep****, or all four, but you’ll be able to tell by the symbol. I’m gonna bold my favourites for you as well. (Inspired by @whiteguilt‘s book rec format)
If any of these books are offensive to you or have triggers in them that you would like me to forewarn people about please tell me. you can also add to this
tell me again how a crush should feel by sara farizan */ ** This is genuinely one of the best books I have ever read. Not only does it have a lesbian muslim main character, but it also gives you an insight into just how flipping hard it is to come out to your parents when you can’t predict what their reactions might be.  TW: secondary character going through stages of grief. It has been pointed out to me that the antagonist falls under the "abusive cheating bi" stereotype and and that could be harmful to readers
a quiet kind of thunder by sara barnard */ *** Wow there are a lot of authors called Sara on this list. Anyway. I waited for the release of this book for about sixteen months. I was so excited for it and it lived up to every single one of my out of this world expectations. For starters one of the main characters is a deaf MOC with a heart of absolute gold. I adopted him immediately. He is now my son. Then there’s the other main, a girl with selective mutism. So already you have more disability rep than half of the YA books I’ve ever read put together. Couple that with the insanely well written narrative and you’ve got yourself a winner!!
the sun is also a star by nicola yoon ** I’m only like four chapters in but so for I’m loving it. It features a jamaican-american female main and a korean-american male main which should give you some indication of how awesome this book is already.
london belongs to us by sarra manning */ ** WOC protagonist who traipses all over london to find her dickwad of a boyfriend. I feel like I spent most of this book in pain from either laughing or smiling too hard. 
the upside of unrequited by becky albertalli */ ** Oh my gosh where do I begin? There are so many positive messages in this book, especially about body image, love, and looking beyond the surface. The main also has an interracial family with two mums. Don’t listen to that crusty old book blogger who gave it a two star. She’s very very wrong.
looking for derek by n.c. nest * Two boys meet, fall in love, and are separated after one of them acts like a complete knob jockey. It has a happy ending, I promise TW: homophobia (from secondary characters), threats, and death of a minor character
what happens at christmas by jay northcote * Suuuuuuuper nsfw!!!! I wouldn’t call this YA at all. But it’s on the list bc fake dating!!!! And also my favourite friends to lovers trope!!! TW: mild homophobia 
game on by olley white * I can’t actually remember who recommended this to me, but it’s pretty cute. More fluff than anything else, but it has a cute ending and sequel.
cinderella boy by kristina meister * I read this one on tapas so I’m not sure whether it’s available elsewhere or for download, but as far as lgbtqa+ books go it’s honestly wonderful. There are so many different genders and sexualities represented including a pansexual character and a gender fluid character
the miseducation of cameron post by emily m. danforth * A beautiful lesbian protagonist who faces shitheap after shitheap and still manages to remain open, hopeful, and loving despite having been put through hell by her “family”. I’m not going to lie to you; at times its hard to read. It’s heartbreaking, then funny, then heartbreaking all over again. For any of you who have grown up with catholic parents or have been sent to a catholic school like I have, you will understand.
you against me by jenny downham Ok this book is not for everyone. It certainly isn’t for you if you are triggered by sexual assault or revenge plots. However, if you think that you will be ok to read it, just know that it deals with some pretty heavy stuff and you might need to put it down now and again and have a break. Like I said, it isn’t for everyone and thats ok, but I’m including it because it changed the way I think about a lot of scenarios and it made me question whether I was always getting the whole story out of people. TW: sexual assault, revenge plots, humiliation, revenge dating
two boys kissing by david levithan & you know me well by david leviathan * The first is about exactly what you think its about; you guessed it, two boys kissing. There’s a really good message to it. The second is about women loving women, finding yourself, and having a damn good time. They’re both gay as hell.
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