#to the pain of being hurt

[nedlittle]

genuinely i think it's important for adults, especially in the plague times, to play pretend in our day-to-day lives. when i rub my back down with tiger balm so i can sleep without pain, i imagine i am a valiant knight tending to an old injury i received from a dragon. when i go to the store to pick up eggs and milk, i am a lone cowboy riding into town on a mission. when i turn my collar up against the wind i am a femme fatale who's killed 4 husbands and is scoping out a 5th. when i stomp around in the snow i am a doomed polar explorer. if being a little bit silly about my walk to the pharmacy helps me remember that life can be full of joy and whimsy, then so be it.

#this is a pointless text post #my most embarrassing version of this is that whenever it was foggy at the lighthouse i imagined i was emily bronte #or that i was taking a walk in the fog with my good friend emily bronte :^) #so much of this is also tied into the fact that my body hurts all the goddamn time #i am trying to make my pain something i can live with #is this gonna be how i learn that normal people don't daydream about being In The Past #anyway do u guys imagine these sort of scenarios too or am i just a freak #greatest (s)hits

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wen ning #wei wuxian #wen qing #jiang cheng #Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile. #This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature. #But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly' #My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out. #Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth. #I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity- #-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly. #Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose. #You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok #Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards. #Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever. #To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss. #Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'. #described in alt text #I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day

[lazylittledragon]

what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?

it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".

i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.

the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.

it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.

tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.

#ramble #ok to reblog btw i'm fine with this being shared #this was meant to be a short version but this is just the whole story whoops #sorry i realised the way i phrased it sounded like i'm the detrans you see in the news #i'm Technically a detransitioner because a lot of detrans stats are people who go on to RETRANSITION #because detransition is often because of social stigma and not because you realised you weren't trans #so anyway. terfs are cancer and if you don't think their bs is harming children you're wrong #i know it's easy to say 'you should've used your brain and realised those people were wrong' #but like. when you're 16 you're SO impressionable. even if you think you aren't #especially when you're watching people who have been transitioning longer than you and you assume they know everything #i was in my mid-late teens when 'transtrender' videos were MASSIVE and i believed it!!! and i was Not nice about those people #all they made me believe was that being trans couldn't be colourful and comfy and fun. it just had to be Pain #i hope everyone who contributed to the 'you need to be this way to be trans' mindset knows how much hurt they've caused #nowadays i don't care. go and be stargender. we have actual problems to deal with not debates about neopronouns #anyway this was long. that's the story

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the WHRP team @ Wally

#c'mahn hes just a lil guy.... jus a silly goofy lil guy.... #hes not being creepy as fuck on purpose. probably #hes just doing his best. and his best is creepy <3 and possibly unintentionally hurting people <3 #scribble salad #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #i love all the 'wally is evil / wally is causing the team's distress and pain over the project' #because like. hes the Least malicious character i have ever seen. he seems just so so earnest and Does Not Know Whats Going On #hes too genuine. there's no way he'd intentionally hurt anyone. he's just trying to connect

[sysig]

Chewtoy (Patreon)

#Doodles #Handplates #UT #Fellplates #Gaster #Papyrus #Sans #Squeeze him - he makes a squeaky toy noise #Everyone needs to bite Gaster! He doesn't yield like flesh so it probably doesn't even hurt right? Yeahhhh he'll be fiiiine #There is something very funny to me about him just sitting there and taking it tho lol - feeds into his martyr play ♪ #As if I don't already have a favourite martyr hmmm don't worry about it lol #What was he even doing why is he just letting 2-P bite him lol #Socialization? That's not a good thing to just let him do! He's still got a young mind! Boundaries are important #He does offer a way out - hehe ♫ - but he doesn't enforce it! You're setting them up for failure #Hehehehe #The bone gift was fun to doodle hehe ♪ He leaves it with him and it goes completely untouched while his arm is covered in teeth-marks pfft #Even with Papyrus a bit more unruly I still like to imagine he acts mean in largely harmless ways haha #Like yeah he's being naughty and biting when he knows better and offered other options - Gaster. Gentle enforcement - but he's not Hurting #He's not using his entire bite force - probably lol or he's just got weak little baby bites (though those can be quite painful!) #Sans on the other hand would absolutely go 100% full power - and still only do 1HP lol what an unfortunate design quirk for him #If only he had a jaw he could open! He'd bite the heck outta Gaster! Alas #I do like to imagine Fellplates!Sans has just fast-tracked to classic's conclusion of ''You suck and I hate you. Die'' about Gaster lol #Even the possibility of not being mean to him is so alien! What do you /mean/ not hurt you?? Do you know who you're talking to?? #He'll find another way to mess with him in good time haha

[swedenis-h]

Phoenix Tatooine day trip Goes Wrong™️ (X)

This is a little idea where Luke needs something (don’t ask me what) that he can only get on tatooine, so dinluke adventure ensues. The plan is to get there and leave ASAP, but then nostalgia hits and he needs to hit every shop and place he used to as a kid. But you know, “college kids comes back to hometown” syndrome hits and he realizes he’s changed too much. Think of how the holiday season doesn’t feel the same anymore now that you’re an adult, same feeling. AND YES ITS ALSO DUNLUKE BECAUSE I WANT THEM TO KISS AND TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS AND ALSO KISS.

Heres some extras 🫡

#and also don’t ask me how I feel being back home for winter break!! #it’s irrelevant! #also tangent about Luke’s outfit: #I wanted it to look a little Jedi but also fit into Tatooine #in the fic in my mind he ditches the cape over time the more he embraces Tatooine again but you know #he’s been Changed By The Journey so he still looks like a Jedi #ANOTHER tangent: his HAIR #I have my usual color for his hair and I change it based on where in the timeline I’m drawing him #more blond around ANH more brown around and past RotJ #drawing him with ANH color pallet and his hair doesn’t match it as nicely… pain suffering I hate him why does he hurt me so bad #HE DOESNT FIT TATOOINE ANYMORE DO YOU UNDERSTAND #okay sorry bye #certified yapper over here YEESH‼️ #art #fanart #digital art #fan art #my art #star wars #star wars fanart #dinluke #sw #sw au #star wars au #luke sykwalker #din djarin

[iheartmoons]

i do believe that the queer community overlooks the incredible pain/hurt that comes with being aromantic

#i see so many things about how awful and painful it is to be lesbian or smth like that #and no doubt i believe you and i'm so sorry to all the queers out there who had to hide who they love or are attracted to #i sympathise with you i promise #but i really don't think people understand how hurtful being aromantic or asexual is #we dont really talk about it #but it is. so. painful. #and i want other queer people to know and understand this #aromatic #asexual #lgbt #aroace #aromantic asexual #asexuality #aspec

[s0fter-sin]

vampire bats share mouthfuls of blood to other bats they’re close to if they weren’t able to feed and now i need old vampire!ghost sharing a bloody kiss with fledgling!soap, giving him mouthfuls of blood bc his fresh fangs are too sensitive to bite with

it’s been so long since he was turned that ghost’s forgotten the deep ache that comes with growing fangs and he almost worries when johnny goes to bite into the meal he’s brought him only to whimper and pull back; only the slightest pinpricks of a bite left in the man’s neck, barely enough to bring blood to the surface

it’s only when johnny whines and massages at his gums that ghost realises his oversight; crooning at his sweet mate in reassurance. he’s not upset that he couldn’t feed, at the unintentional rejection of his offering. he’ll make the pain stop

ghost pulls the man to his mouth and sinks in his fangs, sucking in a heavy mouthful and drops the now paralysed prey back to his feet; his throat steadily gushing with blood and spilling over his body

he cups johnny’s face, looking into his eyes, teary with pain and hunger, and purses his lips to carefully drip the blood into his mouth. the pain immediately vanishes from his eyes, replaced with pure bliss as he opens his mouth wide; curling his tongue to catch every drop. ghost presses his mouth to his in a hungry, blood-filled kiss; tongues twining together as they share the taste

johnny sucks the last of it from his lips and ghost guides him down to lap at the prey’s neck; licking up the blood he was too weak to draw himself. he’s ravenous with it, his whole face covered in red as he licks up the spill and suckles at ghost’s bite

ghost’s filled with an overwhelming pride at having provided for his mate in an even deeper way than just hunting for him. he spilled the blood johnny’s drinking; fed him in the most intimate way their kind knows and he’ll do it a hundred times over for his love

#pet peeve time i hate the vampire ‘licks a bite to stop it bleeding’ trope bc it biologically doesn’t make sense #if anything a vampire’s saliva would have an anticoagulant effect to /stop/ a bit from clotting so they can drink more #anyway back to bloody kisses lmao #thinking about the actual biological difference between humans and vampires and how much it would /hurt/ to grow a pair of fangs #like the human mouth isnt meant to have teeth that big or muscles strong enough to to support them #or the increased bite force they need #so not only are they growing new teeth theyre also growing bigger muscles and their mouths are having to adapt to them #that would cause so much pain #you ever grown in a wisdom tooth? it sucks and that nowhere near this level #on top of all that youre also starving and have an unquenchable need to feed #the intimacy of a sire feeding their fledgling from their own mouths #weaning them off their blood but still so dependent on them #and even after johnny can bite and feed on his own he still craves the closeness of being fed from ghosts mouth #and ghost never denies him #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team- ghost team #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod

[syn0vial]

most relatable Boba Fett Moment™ in the expanded universe is when he very calmly and curtly walks away from what should be a highly emotional conversation (much to the annoyance and disgust of the person he's speaking to), locks himself in a washroom, then proceeds to have debilitating panic attack for several minutes before standing up, composing himself, and walking out in the exact same unruffled manner like nothing happened :^)

#boba fett #legacy of the force #this scene makes me feel shrimp emotions #like i have my face in my hands laughing but i'm also in so much pain :`D #the description of the panic attack is like. 2 sentences. #and that's the point!! #it's the tiniest‚ briefest glimpse into what's really going on in his head when everybody else thinks he's being a callous bastard as usual #that IMMEDIATELY gets shoved down‚ bottled up‚ and buried under that cold‚ emotionless mask!! #but man... the mental image boba crouched on the floor with his face in his hands‚ trying to stop shaking... it hurts me so bad 😭 #it doesn't have to be like this‚ my man!!! you have a support system now!!!

[add1ctedt0you]

Canonically speaking, jc' reaction to someone he doesn't like/has strong negative feelings towards, because that person was a jerk to his sister, is to regulate his emotions according to how his sister feels. In a jyl lives au, after wwx's return, canon jc is going to his sister, saying something like: 'while I think we should throw at least a cup of tea at him because he left us you and a-ling like that, it's your choice, jin zixuan was your husband. What are we feeling now, jiejie?'

#I was reading a jyl live and in the notes the author wrote: 'I made jc & wwx meeting as painful as possible'. Why would you do that lol. jyl #jzx's wife- is right there. shouldn't she the one to be mad? no obv. she says to jc to back off and stop being a jerk lol #canon jc rebuild his sect and co-raised his wonderful nephew. Without no one but himself. A jc with his sister by is side is the healthiest #dude out there. The fact imo it's that most of jyl lives au aren't about jyl #Her life wasn't about her. Her childhood wasn't about her. Her death wasn't about her #Let at least her survival be about her lmao #jzx should divorce fanon jyl tbh and marry jc lol #Imo it boils down to people thinking that be mad about a loved one's death/lying make you the devil #Which is a bit strange #Or maybe it's that in a jyl lives au you kinda have to acknowledge how hurtful wwx's actions were. A crime in this fandom. #mar!nonsense

[raiiny-bay]

everyone say hi to cricket

Interviewer: Can you state your name and age please? Cricket: Cricket... 19. Interviewer: [whispering] Look into the camera. Interviewer: And what's been happening to you, Cricket? Cricket: ...I'm... mutating. Interviewer: Can you show us what you mean? Cricket: ... Cricket: ... Okay. [Cricket holds his hand towards the camera]

#ts4 #simblr #ts4 edit #ts4 render #sims 4 #blood tw #myedits #mb #cricket #he/they btw #you have no idea how much it pained me to get rid of their facial scar #& their lil fangs............... #but i had to! bc this is in the early stages of his mutation so he doesn't have either of those yet #also he did agree to be filmed. he's just a really quiet & shy kid #so he's not like. being forced to do this or anything. he's just awkward & not super social #also at this stage in the story they're grieving bc they literally just lost their best friend #& the mutation is a reminder of that for Reasons so it is a liiiiil bit of an uncomfortable topic for them #& the mutation process does hurt so he's also in a decent amount of pain here #so yea. that kind of explains their demeanor #they're just like. goin through it currently lol #i might post more of these like. documentary style posts bc i really like em & his story is probably one of my favorites #like. out of all the side characters i mean. & i'd like to share more about him so yea #he definitely doesn't deserve the ending he gets but #there are no happy endings in the mbzAU lmao

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

"See you tomorrow"

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]

#better drawn mdzs #MDZS Disco Elysium AU #mdzs au #Lan wangji #wei wuxian #yiling laozu #Happy Belated Halloween! #digital art #Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone. #I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen. #Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture. #Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now #Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen. #The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers. #My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene. #The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined. #It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change - #You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time #You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts- #You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember. #WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.

[anoiximera]

Part 7: Rethink

Arc 1: Reacquainted (Finished)

This part was 11 pages and I had to combine the last two pages to make it all fit but the quality suffered I sob. Anyways, first arc done! I've planned out the story/dialogue for the next arc but it might take a bit for me to get it out. Either way, thanks for sticking around so far. Appreciate it.

First Previous

#rottmnt fanart #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the turtles #rottmnt #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rise donnie #rise leo #villain donnie #aon au #will add links when im on my pc later promise promise #binged drawn all night #aka i haven't slept but insomnia we love/s #anyways next arc will hurt #and by hurt i mean we get some insight with the brothers #so expect pain #sorry in advance for not being sorry

[nelkcats]

Little shock

Every time Danny transforms into Phantom he relives a part of his death, his scars glowing a toxic green while he goes into small spasms; the first time it happened he held back tears to face Lunch Lady.

This caused him to try to stay more permanently in one form or another, usually changing only when he felt safe and out of sight; His friends told him that it wasn't healthy but they weren't the ones who suffered two to three electrocutions per day, Danny wondered if the transformations would ruin his nerve functions or sense of touch in the long run.

When he finally decides to move out after securing Amity and ends up in Gotham he begins to question which way he should stay, after all he's not too rushed to get a title yet. In the end he stayed as Phantom for over a week before deciding to go back being Fenton, unfortunately that transformation happened right in front of Red Hood.

Jason was calmly patrolling his territory when he saw the shiny meta that had settled in Crime Alley that week looking around, he followed him out of curiosity but before he knew it the meta had disappeared and a boy was left trembling and cursing while some Lazarus green scars glowed on his body.

As any sensible person would in such a situation, Jason took one of his pistols and bashed the supposed meta in the head with it; Danny shot him an offended look before trailing off, it was extremely weird waking up to Red Hood offering him some eggs a couple of hours later.

Because yeah, Jason wasn't going to let that obviously sore bat bait stay where B could see him, or where the League of Assassins got a peek so he just took the boy with him, having an excuse to cook was just a bonus.

#danny phantom #dp x dc #danny fenton #dc x dp #jason todd #And they were roomates #It could be dead on main or not its up to you #Jason was not going to risk it leaving a hurt boy with black hair and blue eyes #Too tempting for Bruce #Even if is not a kid #Danny transformations hurts #he hated it #but he can't help it #is kidnapping if the boy stays? #At least he will have a good breakfast #Maybe Danny can become his sidekick who knows #Red Hood #detective comics #Danny hates being a halfa mostly because of the pain #You can also take the angst route here #and take Danny's sense of touch away

[cosmo-abyss]

“I’m not allowed to cry, but it hurts too much to stop”

#Context: shadow after reliving maria’s death #Also this is slight vent. I been feeling like crap all weekend cuz of being triggered by my past abuser #excuse the quality i drew it with my finger in the car ride #sonic #shadow the hedgehog #vent art #… #I wonder if anyone else cries like this. Its like a stone-face with gasping and grimacing because the pain hurts #You have to physically cry but forcing yourself to not breakdown

[moeblob]

You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)

#moe talks a lot #i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry #and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds #LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO #shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds #BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER #i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up #i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong #after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before #YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain #oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older #and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds #holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang #sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat #but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like #welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant #anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain #im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake #but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry #anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering