#tw aphobia mention

[lavenderphoenix99]

(I prefer to not have too much of this stuff on my blog so I’m sending an ask) Honestly your identity isn’t hard to understand at all to me, like it makes perfect sense how lines get blurred like that. Gender is complicated as hell and what you are is literally nobody else’s business.

And fujo discourse is the worst 😭 People refuse to accept that a lot of “fujoshi” are queer men and eggs exploring their male queerness by living vicariously through the characters. I’m literally straight and I like BL because I’m still a queer man who likes and connects to works about men being queer in general.

And aphobia is so so awful. I was one in my late teens- early 20s and once I woke up a few years ago I realized just how terrible it is. A lot of it is also TERFs indoctrinating people by dividing the community and getting people in to push them to start disliking other queer people until they work their way up to transmisogyny. My best friend and his bf are also both aroace and it’s so frustrating how many people refuse to accept who they are because they don’t care about the nuance of their relationship + their identities.

Honestly yes to all of this!!! Thank you for responding!!

And like, it's nobody else's business until it's the WEIRD FREAK QUEERS!!! /s like!!! It's their gender and sexuality, not friggin yours!!!

Fujo discourse... God I just realized how I have unconsciously avoiding being both a gay man and a cishet woman due to this!!! Like aside from the internalized transmultiphobia it's just TERF rhetoric atp

God yeahhhh about the aroace one, it's fucking exhausting to be seen as just an honorary queer rather than the legit thing lmao

#søren answers #transandrophobia #trans men #gay #achillean #fujoshi discourse mention #tw TERF mention #tw aphobia mention

[systemtermz]

“My source is a terrible person but I don’t like them!” Coward. My source is an aphobic mirror mannequin skeleton boy (?????) who has done literally nothing but snap the boy who made him up’s neck and later basically tell him that he is a freak who will die alone because he’s aroace and then dies (but not really) because shrimp and the entire system loves him dearly.

/j/j btw.

-Baron

#tw aphobia mention

[randomnerd737]

HELP MY PHONES PREDICTIVE TEXT IS APHOBIC 😭

#I'm ace wtf #asexual #ace #tw aphobia mention #tw aphobia

[bloggingboutburgers]

Have you noticed the aphobe to terf pipeline

"Noticed" per se? I wouldn't say.

But I've definitely thought about it when exclusionist comments would get to me and my mood a little too much.

It's not reassuring.

#so i try not to think about it too much and comfort myself in the thought that exclusionists are the exception and not the norm #anon #tw aphobia mention #tw terf mention

[baybeered]

On one hand being really aggressive towards people who are misinformed about aorace stuff and so ignorant and privileged to live in their little allo bubble is counter intuitive. Nobody learns anything and if anything at all they've gotten a negative experience to justify their aphobia.

On the other hand;

I'm so fucking exhausted of you assholes fuck off and die. You can never understand what it's like to live in a world that consistently treats you like you don't exist. That hurts your fucking community and you can't do anything about it because people have decided its better to treat you as a joke or a disease that needs to be stopped. And heaven fucking forbid you stand up against other queer people for their aphobic treatment and remarks because then you're the problem, then you've slighted the queer community, you're not queer enough or your existence is "inherently homophobic/lesbophobic/biphobic."

I don't want to have to dance around your fucking feelings when I tell you this character and the experience they represent IS NOT FOR YOU. Like a child when told you can't have one singular thing, you bawl your fucking eyes out and throw a tantrum because the mere thought, the guilt of knowing that you've done something bad or that you've hurt us isn't as horrid to you as not being allowed your ships. YOUR QUEER IS NOT MY QUEER AND YOU HATE ME FOR IT.

And even those who don't actively take from us are more than happy to sit aside and let their fellows do so, there is little to no ally ship and we're all worse off for it.

Every time one of you fucks talks a character our of their aroace canon because it doesn't suit your needs, some who isn't aware of the label but can't fit in with their peers, can't fit in with societies demands is kept in the dark. I cannot express enough how important it is to keep aroace characters aroace and to talk and celebrate their queerness. I cannot express how many times I seen someone come to the labels of aromantic and asexual through these celebrations and said

"this is how I feel, I didn't know there was a word for it"

"I didn't know this was a thing! I think I might be this!"

"I'm less scared now that I know what I am"

less anxious

less afraid

You kill our community without second thought because people understanding themselves either scares you or you're privileged enough not to care.

You open the door for a queer revolution and when the A in LGBTQIA follows you in you slam in in our faces.

Go fuck yourself, allo pieces of shit, you exhaust me and I'm tired of having to explain to you what you should already fucking know. We deserve a seat at your table, and representation that holds up the full aromantic and asexual spectrums for all to see and understand even if that means its not for you because guess what? NOT EVERYTHING IS FOR YOU ♥

#tw aphobia mention #aromantic #asexual #aroace pride #canon aroace character #aroace #lesbian #gay #bisexual #pansexual #queer stuff #queer representation #rant #vent #lgbtq community #oh and if you need proof of what aroace rep means go read some comments on Jaiden animations ‟Being not Straight‟ video #no real people are not representation but just reading the comments and understanding how many people came across the terms through #one single video about it #thats even in a niche corner of the internet #imagine how many people would understand themselves better if a character like Yelena Belova #part of the mcu and one of the biggest film franchises for all ages currently available #was more discussed and celebrated #because guess what she is canon aroace

[arowrath]

so imagine your partner really likes roller coasters. you’re not super into them, it’s not an experience you would actively seek out, but you don’t mind them. you don’t experience any distress if you go on one, and you think sometimes they can even be fun, even though you don’t have any particular desire to go on any specific roller coasters. so when your partner says they want to go on a roller coaster, you say yeah sure, because you love them, because it’s fun sometimes, because it brings you closer together. everyone is consenting, everyone is enjoying the experience, no one is getting hurt. you can do things and even enjoy them without actively seeking them out in your daily life

#text #aphobia #aphobia tw #discourse #self harm mention

[mirrorofliterature]

amatonormativity is one of the most harmful forces in society, actually.

it’s incredibly structural, and invisible, and if you don’t live outside striving for the monogamous ideals, it can be incredibly normalised to a very toxic extent

amatonormativity:

- contributes to abuse (people staying in relationships because they are manipulated into thinking that some romantic relationship is better than none)

- high divorce rates

- unhappy marriages

- unhappy relationships

- inability to live alone

- devaluing of friendship

- is underpinned and underpins ableism (disabled people’s humanity is often judged on their capacity for sex and love, particularly romantic)

idk, maybe we should take this seriously? all a lot of freedom movements - particularly feminism - are striving for are giving people choice on what to do with their lives.

amatonormativity is the societal norm. it is real, it is not good for anyone. relationship anarchy is cool.

anyway.

#amatonormativity #aphobia #arophobia particularly #and discussing the social stigma on polyamory obliquely #tw abuse mention #divorce #I just think measuring how human someone is based on anything other than the fact that they are alive is always going to end badly #I saw a post earlier saying that aphobia is largely albeism #and oof I agree #particularly when it comes to people who have disorders like NPD or BPD #they are so dehumanised #like just treat other humans with basic respect and dignity? #literally the bare minimum

[anti-terf-posts]

One time I saw a TERF on Tumblr make fun of an asexual r*pe victim (the whole "you want to be oppressed so bad" BS) and I think that was the moment I finally realized TERFs are not actually anti-r*pe. They're not worried about trans people being predators nor do they care about r*pe victims. They just use that as a cover to make their transphobia look like feminism. It's absolutely disgusting and I can't wait until more people see TERFs as what they really are.

terfs stop being horrible people in every way challenge IMPOSSIBLE

#asks #anon #rape tw #terf mention #aphobia tw

[blubefishy]

I think what hbomberguy missed out on his video was the way James Somerton also dismissed ace people's oppression by claiming that they didn't 'go through conversion therapy' or apparently 'suffered as much as gay men'.

So here's a video I want to share by the Ace Couple going into depth about the whole thing and how James reacted when called out... spoilers, he didn't react well. I just hope by James' mistakes he and other people can learn something and grow.

#mentions of sa racial violence and acephobic + homophobic slurs in the video so be careful #they also go into depth about how they funded his movie projects and how they got fucked around basically #i think maybe hbomber missed this or maybe the video was too long already so no hate towards him at all #tw conversion therapy #tw aphobia #tw acephobia #lgbt+ #lgbt #queer #asexual #tw harrassment #james somerton #hbomberguy #Youtube

[anti-spop]

i hate it when ppl justify g/limbow by using the argument that glimmer was jealous of bow going to the prom with perfuma in s1, therefore it was romantic.

but like... have you guys NEVER been jealous of a friend? seriously? because i've been and that is NOT strictly romantic. besides, bow rlly was glimmer's only friend before adora came, so it's understandable why she would be jealous. yeah she didn't deal with it in a healthy way at first, but i've been in glimmer's place. when you're insecure and you have little to no friends your whole life, you might get upset imagining that said friend is going to leave you. is it irrational? yeah, maybe. but again, it's understandable.

honestly this just screams amatonormativity to me. yeah, this definitely is the show's fault by shitting on all platonic relationships to fulfill the romantic ones, but fandoms overall definitely promote amatonormativity. and i say this again and again, but the spop fandom in particular is VERY aphobic.

#i post #spop critical #aphobia mention tw #anti stans #idk who thought that jealousy is romantic only #it's a very natural feeling

[no-passaran]

Hi, it's Asexuality Awareness Week and I would like to share one of the reasons why it's important to raise awareness: including asexuality in legal protection.

One of the reasons why legal protections are necessary is the case of asylum seekers. Asexual asylum seekers, who are endangered in their home country, are routinely not accepted as asylum seekers because the legislation protects LGBT people but doesn't include asexuality in the acronym.

Let's see a couple of examples:

In 2018, an Algerian man applied for asylum in the Netherlands, explaining that he feared being persecuted in his country of origin for being asexual and for refusing to marry his niece.

The Netherlands, a country that accepts LGBTI asylum seekers, did not accept this man's asylum request because asexuality is not mentioned as being in the LGBTI. The court also said that asexuality is not punishable in Algeria. But not being legally called by its name and explicitly punished does not mean asexual people don't face discrimination, forced marriages, and threats of violence and rape. (Marriage itself, by the laws in most of the world, must include "consummation", whether the people involved want to or not).

This is the case of a 26-year-old woman living in Senegal, using the pseudonym Jade. Her family, across the border in Guinea, demanded that she find a man to marry. Her sister told her that if she didn’t, their parents would force her to wed a man who would rape her.

In Guinea and Senegal, forced marriages are common – the same sister who threatened Jade was in one herself. Divorce is also heavily stigmatised – when one of Jade’s cousins told her abusive husband she wanted a divorce, he said he would shoot her, her mother and himself.

Jade is a sex-repulsed asexual woman. She feared being married to someone she didn’t love and being subjected to so-called “corrective rape” until she bore children.

She considered suicide.

Her mother suggested sending her to therapy to fix her "aversion to marriage", when Jade refused, the mother said she'd "fix" her herself. She had Jade lay on the floor while she put her hand on her chest and prayed over her, asking afterwards whether she felt any different.

For a while, Jade’s last resort was escaping West Africa permanently. After she began studying in the US, it became her first choice. When researching what her options were, she found the case from the Netherlands that we've talked about before this one. She also found that legislations that aim to protect LGBTQI around the world don't include asexuality.

At present, the only piece of legislation which explicitly mentions asexuality is New York’s Sexual Orientation Non-Discrimination Act of 2003. However, that didn’t help Jade. A New York lawyer told Jade that there was no information as to whether asexuality was grounds for asylum in the US. After a long process of trying in the USA, she couldn't make it but after a year and a half she found an opportunity to do an internship in Ireland, where she lives now.

Since leaving West Africa, Jade has learned that her parents had chosen a husband for her without her knowledge, not long before she managed to escape. She says that, had she not been able to escape, she wouldn't be alive today.

This is what people mean when they say "asexuals aren't LGBTI!", "We can't have asexuals stealing our resources!". These are the kind of resources they mean: the ones that could save the life of a person being discriminated against for not being heterosexual heteroromantic and not conforming to the normative ideas of what their love and sex life should be like. An issue that is deeply shared with the rest of the LGBTQIA+ community.

#💬 #ace #ace awareness #asexual awareness week #asexual #asexuality #actually asexual #lgbt #lgbtqia #queer #asylum seekers #aphobia #acephobia #asexual awareness #queer rights #suicide mention tw #rape mention tw

[the-lone-witch-and-secret-room]

Just saw something that pissed me off, so: sex favorable aces are asexual. Just because you have sex and maybe enjoy that sex doesn’t mean you can’t be asexual.

Asexuality can include not wanting to have sex whatsoever (sex repulsed aces, which I am personally) or having sex for the sake of a partner but not actively seeking it out/enjoying it (sex neutral), but disliking sexual acts isn’t a requirement to be asexual.

What makes sex-favorable aces asexual is the fact that they don’t feel sexual attraction.

This is something that’s pretty universally shared between all asexual people, regardless of whether you fall under sex repulsed, sex neutral or sex favorable.

Other identities under the ace umbrella also include sexual attraction in their definition, e.g. demisexual, where you only start to feel sexual attraction when you have a bond with someone, and greysexual, where you feel sexual attraction, but only sometimes, under certain circumstances.

Asexuality is not just about the act of sex! It’s not about libido! There isn’t one way to be asexual, and just because you personally aren’t sex favorable doesn’t mean you can tell those people that they’re not actually ace because they don’t fit your definition! It’s shitty!

I’ve said this before, I will say it again: you do not get to dictate other people’s sexualities. Being queer doesn’t give you the right to be shitty to other queer people because you don’t understand their identities. Being ace does not give you the right to be shitty to other aces just because you don’t understand their identities.

Aroace people already struggle to be included in the queer community because people don’t consider us queer enough. Pray tell, why the fuck are we then throwing people out of the ace community for not being ace enough, for not fitting your cut-and-dry definition of asexual?

Sex-favorable aces are already super underrepresented in the asexual community. Don’t tell them to shut up because they’ll “confuse allo people” or they’re “twisting what asexuality actually is”. Do not tell marginalized people to shut up about their identity and experiences, ever.

Allo people are being aphobic and shitty because they do not care about us. They don’t care enough to do basic research, to even try to understand us or take our word for what our identity is. They don’t think we’re queer enough and think we just want attention.

This wouldn’t change if sex favorable aces didn’t exist. The only thing you’re doing is making other people feel shitty about who they are to appease people who already hate us or at least can’t be bothered to understand our identities.

Sex favorable aces can barely say anything online and they’ll immediately be accused of not actually being asexual from all sides. Why the fuck are we contributing to that?

Yes, allo people take the fact that sex favorable aces exist to write asexual characters in sexual relationships. But they write them the same way they’d write an allo person having sex, because they can’t be bothered to try and understand sex favorable aces either! They don’t care about any of us! They just want to make an asexual character allo and take the fact that sex favorable aces exist as an excuse.

This is not on sex favorable aces!! It’s on aphobes being shitty!!!

They’d still make ace characters have sex regardless of this because they don’t think we’re valid and don’t think that sex repulsed people can be in a happy relationship because relationships aren’t “real” relationships without sex.

Sex neutral people also have sex sometimes. We shouldn’t be invalidating them for that either. Stop being shitty to fellow aces just because they have sex and potentially don’t despise it!

Also, this part going out specifically to allos since I keep hearing this shit too: yes, some allo people are absolutely down to be in a relationship with ace people and not have sex. These conversations should absolutely be had before you enter a relationship, draw lines on what you are and aren’t okay with. But someone knowingly entering a relationship with an ace person is not being led on if that ace person doesn’t end up wanting sex! Ace people aren’t being selfish or malicious or manipulative for agreeing to be in relationships with allo people who are cool with having an ace partner!

You have no problem imagining an ace person being in a relationship with an allo person and compromising by having sex with them. Why is it so difficult to imagine the allo person could be the one to compromise and not have sex? Relationships are about so much more than just sex.

#eleena rants #asexuality #ace positivity #sex favorable #sex neutral #sex repulsed #queer community #ace community #I’m so annoyed can you guys not #aphobia #tw sex mention #long post

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

this reminds me of the time i told an aphobe "go fuck yourself with a cactus" and i was accused of making "rape threats"

#the aphobia wars really were a stupid era #anyway i hope photomatt recovers from his complete absence of a spine and conscience <3 #rape mention #rape tw

[our-arospec-experience]

We need to stop letting people get away with cross-tagging aspec content imo. Posts that only talk about asexual experiences should not be tagged as aromantic. Posts that only talk about aromantic experiences should not be tagged as asexual. Yes, even if the OP is aroace.

It's not fair to make the main tags unusable to non-aroace aspecs. I see so many allo-arospecs and non-SAM arospecs talk about how they gave up on going into the main aromantic tag, because so much of the content is unrelated to aromanticism. About how they stick to microlabel tags or tags like 'safe for aro' or 'actually aromantic' instead. These tags started out as a way to avoid aphobia and gore in the main tags. People are feeling unwelcome enough to retreat to tags that were made in response to aphobic attacks on tumblr aspec communities.

It seems like such a small thing, but it's indicative of a larger problem in aspec spaces imo and it contributes to non-aroace aspecs feeling less welcome in aspec spaces.

.

#Very true #only use the aro tag for aro stuff please #It’s common courtesy #Our arospec experience #Arospec #tw aphobia #Tw gore #only mentioned though not described

[baybeered]

Outstanding, just got the honor of arguing with an allo about wether Nadia Van Dyne is aroace or just ace.

Allos shut the actual fuck up. Especially leave aromantics alone since you fucking love to dig your hands into any aroace character and pull apart their orientation for your fucking needs

#aphobia #tw aphobia mention #nadia van dyne #cannon aroace representation #marvel comics #queer representation #tiktok is tumblr aphobia 2 electric boogaloo

[kaisoonomu]

it was him. it was him the whole fucking time. HE WAS THE VICTIM. im feeling sick.

#qsmp #cellbit #for those who will read and translate the doc #tw grooming #tw abuse #tw aphobia #tw csa #tw sa #tw suicide mention