#unless you also love him in which case I Hate Him. and if you talk to me about super Im Going To Kill You | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

paracosmic-murdock · 4 months

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these colors fade for you only ; benedict bridgerton x reader

pairing: benedict bridgerton x fem!reader

summary: one thing worse than seeing your enemy often was living under the same roof, certainly, and you and benedict suffered from that unfortunate condition. not even the eleven years you've slept separated by a thin wall only helped you overcome that hatred, you would always hate each other. or not really, because it's too definite to say something as such when a few hours could change the meaning of until the end of time.

warnings/tags: enemies to lovers, sexual tension, very inappropriate behavior for the 1810s, colin bridgerton being a little shit, two people who hate each other locked in a room, what could possibly go wrong?, nude paintings, implied smut, song: sunlight (hozier)

word count: 3.2K

❁ mila's paracosm (main masterlist)

One thing about Benedict Bridgerton is how you could ruin even the best of days for him.

One thing about you is how much you loved to make him mad and see the frustration on his face.

Another thing about Benedict Bridgerton is how pathetically obsessed he was with insulting you in any chance he gets.

Another thing about you is how you were willing to do absolutely anything to bother him or tease him.

You acted like children: always arguing, always making fun of each other, always making everyone at Bridgerton House completely insane with your bickering the entire day.

One thing was having to see your enemy often. One way worse was living under the same roof.

Eleven years ago, your parents had an accident, and you have lived with the Bridgertons ever since, as your mother was Violet Bridgerton's best friend since childhood.

Devastated for years, you accompanied the Bridgertons in their grief for Edmund, which was what ultimately gave you strength to go on with your life. All of you.

But that was the very same thing that ignited your rivalry with the second Bridgerton: your enthusiasm would collide with his mourning and harsh words coming out of his mouth you had no will to tolerate.

It began with his insults to you, though you knew he didn't mean to be rude, and it was all his grief doing the talk. When you couldn't tolerate it anymore, you started insulting him back.

Then, Benedict would play pranks that went too far, and you would burn his sketches in the chimney.

Benedict started sabotaging any chance you could get to find a suitor and you would spread silly rumors about his performance in the bedroom with his friends from the Academy.

Thanks to his efforts, not even being named Diamond of the Season was enough for you to find a husband, which was already making you feel like a failure, not to mention a burden to the Bridgertons. Benedict's fault also.

“Anthony, has he come back?”

He gave you a pitiful look. “I am sorry, Y/N, but I spoke to Lord Raeken to ask him his intentions, and he said he was not interested in marrying you.”

“What?” You gasped. “But everything was going so well! He- he invited us for dinner last week! His mother and Aunt Violet befriended each other even!”

“You will not like what I am going to say.” Anthony anticipated, and you already knew whose fault it was.

“It was Benedict?! Again?!”

Anthony nodded. “I talked to him… It was a threat. He said he would fix it, and I promise you that Lord Raeken will propose to you. If not, he is not worthy of you, and that is all.”

“Nobody is worthy of me, then? He… ruined it with the Duke of Sussex, with Lord Leclerc, with the Count-, I… Why does he keep doing this, Anthony?” You whimpered. You didn't even notice when you started crying, but before anything happened, he hugged you tightly. “Has he not tormented me enough already?”

The eldest Bridgerton knew all too well of your inner motives to hate each other, but decided not to meddle in your war anymore unless it was a case as delicate as this.

“Promise me you will not ruin his latest painting, Y/N,” he begged. “I am trying to work on a peace accord between the two of you, so as long as you stop doing things to him, he will stop messing with you.”

You sighed. “If I do not marry this season, I will have no other choice but to find a job as a governess.”

“Why do you even say that?” He frowned.

“Because it has been eleven years of you sponsoring me, and I believe that it is too much time.”

“You think you are a burden for us?” Anthony asked, and your silence answered. “The day you leave us will be one of the saddest for us Bridgertons, Y/N. You are like our sister, and we love you and care about you as such. Perhaps it has not worked before, but do you really believe that a man that loves you will let none other than Benedict intimidate him?”

“Gregory is more threatening than him,” you noted. “And those dimples could melt the coldest of hearts!”

Anthony smiled. “Do not think too much of it. We shall find you a husband before the season ends.”

“Alright.”

“Now go, I believe Colin is expecting you, and I have many things to do.”

“Sure thing.” you replied.

Once you were out of his office, you gathered the baby blue skirt and ran to Benedict's studio. There, you saw the painting Anthony begged you not to ruin.

It was a woman's naked figure, quite a graceful one. And it was beautifully portrayed.

It would be a shame for it to be ruined. Thank God you did not promise Anthony a thing.

It was still wet, so it was not difficult to use other colors and mix them with the paint so it would look different. You also spilled droplets of red and signed your name on the painting where he had his.

Then, you cleaned your hands and ran to the door.

“Colin!” you exclaimed, and he turned around. “We are going to find Benedict right now.”

He frowned, annoyed. “What happened now?”

“Lord Raeken won't marry me for something Benedict did. Now I must speak to him.”

“It is getting late. We will not get to the tailor in time if we go to Benedict first.”

“Please?” You begged Colin. “I can get on my knees if you wish, but please…”

Colin rolled his eyes. “Alright, let's- oh, there he is!”

You looked in the same direction as him and noticed Benedict getting home. He seemed mad, and your face lost all its life when you thought of what could happen when he saw his painting ruined by you.

“Let's get out of here, Colin…” you muttered once Benedict passed you without even saying hello.

“Why? Benedict is here if you wish to talk to him.”

“It might not be a great time right now…”

“Why?”

“Y/N, I swear to God!”

“Because…” You gave Colin a sheepish look at Benedict's scream.

“What did you do?”

“He started it!”

Colin rolled his eyes. “Did you-”

“Come inside right now!” Benedict yelled once he reached the door. “I am dead serious.”

You sighed, walking next to Colin. “He is going to kill me, Colin.”

“You do not know that.”

“I did something bad.”

“So did he.”

You pursed your lips. “Tell Daphne that only Francesca is a good fit to replace me as Auggie's godmother once I die.”

“Do not say that.”

“What on Earth were you thinking?!”

“What on Earth were you thinking?!” You mimicked him, anger coming to surface again as you reached his studio.

“This was an assignment for tomorrow morning!”

“Well, Lord Raeken was my whole future, Benedict!” you yelled back.

“Look at it! It is ruined!”

Colin was annoyed enough of your fights, and seeing the keys was enough for him to know there was only one solution.

So he did it and thought that you would either kill each other or make amends.

The third Bridgerton exited the room quietly and thanked your bickering for being distracting enough so you did not notice when he closed the door and locked it from outside.

“What are you doing?” Anthony asked when he saw Colin lock the door.

“Forcing those two to reconcile.”

The eldest brother chuckled. “Best of luck with that.”

“I know they will get over it,” he said, sitting on the floor next to the door. “I shall stay here even if it takes me the whole night.”

Anthony joined him. “This should be fun.”

“I do not care if it is ruined, Benedict… you can ruin my future but you draw a line at ruined paintings?!”

“Do you not know how important my career is for me?! You can find another suitor anytime!”

You groaned. “This is my third season, and I have not found a husband! I was the Diamond of my first Season, Benedict! And you have been ruining all of them for me!”

“I have not ruined anything. They simply are not a good fit for the family!”

“I am done listening to you.” You walked away from him and tried, in vain, to open the door.

After looking around, you noticed Colin was supposed to be in the room with you but he wasn't.

“Colin Bridgerton, open this door right now!” You banged the door, making him flinch. “Someone, open the door! We are locked in here!”

Benedict believed you simply weren't strong enough to open it, so he joined you trying to open it but couldn't while his brothers hid their laughter. He looked for the keys but couldn't find them either.

“Colin must have taken the keys,” he noted.

You sighed tiredly. “Somebody open the door! Please, we are trapped!”

“Open the door! Colin!”

“They will not let us out.” you told him.

“Perhaps we should just say we made amends and they will open the door.”

“Do you think he is an idiot? Only a fool would believe you and I could reach an agreement overnight, let alone the ten minutes we have been here.”

He groaned, giving up on escaping the room and returning to the conflict. “How are you so blind, Y/N? How can you fail to see that they are not right for the family?”

“I beg your pardon?! You do not even know them!”

“Is that so?” he questioned, getting closer to you. “Lord Leclerc, a widower who had lovers left and right while his late wife was terribly ill, the Duke of Sussex is a dull rat, and the Count had three illegitimate children by the time he set foot on Mayfair. They are not good people for us.”

“If that is what worries you so, I can leave forever after I marry!”

“Do you truly think this family will survive a week without seeing you? Mother is devastated at Daphne's absence… yours would kill her.”

You rolled your eyes. “We are not even a real family, are we? I am not related to you, I am a mere burden, so why do you not take any of them as your chance to get rid of me?”

“I did not mean that. Stop bringing it to the table each time it suits your purpose to manipulate me.”

“I could seriously kill you with my bare hands right now, Benedict…” you spoke, outraged. “What is it that I did for you to hate me so much?!”

“It is not worth talking about that now.”

“Why are you like this with me, Benedict? At this point, I would marry just about any man who could take me away from you.”

His heart skipped a beat. “We can't just let you marry anyone, alright?”

“Why do you even care?!”

“Because I cannot let you go with someone I do not trust…”

“What will it even take for you to trust any of them?”

“I could never trust them, Y/N, because I can't trust in someone who does not love you devotedly and absolutely.”

Your lips formed a line of disdain at his words. “How would you even know they don't if you do not give them the chance to truly get to me?”

“Because no one does.”

“Wow,” you laughed bitterly. “Thanks for reminding me how unlovable I am.”

“You do not understand, Y/N.”

“Explain it to me, then!” You asked, you begged him.

“No one does it like I do, my goodness!” he screamed, and you were sure it echoed through the whole floor.

You choked on your own spit at his confession, and at the other side of the door, Colin and Anthony looked at each other completely flabbergasted.

“We should leave.” Anthony whispered. “Unlock the door.”

Colin nodded. “I agree, we should let them out.”

Anthony nodded and left, but Colin was determined.

He certainly did not unlock the door.

“What?” you asked in almost a whisper.

Benedict seemed surprised at his own words, as if he had spoken from ignorance because… it couldn't be real, could it? He couldn't be in love with you.

“I…”

“Benedict…”

“You are my family,” he ‘corrected’ himself. “Conflict in families is not uncommon. It is fine. I care about you, and I… we do not want you to be the wife of a man that does not deserve you, Y/N. You are sunlight, and they are nothing but a gray sky.”

You breathed out shakily, looking at his blue eyes deeply, feeling like you had never seen such blue in your entire life. “I am sorry about your painting.”

“It is alright, I will try to fix it; maybe if Colin lets us out, I can go back to the Academy before it is too late. Find a model-”

“Is that what you need? A model?”

Benedict cleared his throat, guessing where it was going, though scared of it. “Yes, but it should not be difficult to find one at the Academy.”

“We will not be let out,” you reminded him and gave it all a careful thought.

You were aware it wasn't right. He was a man, and you were a woman who was not married to him. He must not see you naked under any circumstances, but again… he saved you from those men who weren't worth it, and you paid him by ruining his artwork. It was not fair, so you owed him.

You could break the rules a little. After all, you were locked in a room for God only knows how long.

So you nodded and started undressing. “I could model for you if that is what you need.”

“What? Do not, I-”

“What is the difference between that woman and I?”

Benedict's brain told him to stop you. It was definitely not right for a lady like you to be seen naked before marriage. Worse than that, be painted.

“Y/N…”

“Am I not interesting enough to paint, Benedict?” you questioned as your dress reached the floor. “I just wish to make up for what I did.”

You started undoing your corset under his careful eyes.

“If what worries you is my identity, I believe you could use the other model's face,” you added once the corset was discarded and your bosom fully exposed to him. “It is intact in your painting.”

“I am afraid your grace cannot be compared.”

You exhaled nervously when your shaking hands reached the beginning of your underpants. “Then make justice to it.”

Finally, you stood completely naked before him and didn't dare to be modest about it.

“Paint me.”

You walked to the couch and laid in a similar position as the model in his painting.

“I cannot ask that of you.” He tried one last time, gathering all the strength in his body… You were a lady, and he was a gentleman; no matter how rare that would be of him to stop you. It was not right, but what a sight he had before him.

“Then it is good that I offered.” you refuted.

He doubted for longer than he is willing to admit, but ultimately approached you with hesitant steps.

“Allow me,” he whispered as he reached you. You nodded, and he accommodated your head so you would be looking up at the ceiling and your hands to cover what could be seen of your face to his art's convenience delicately. His touch, hot, caused goosebumps on your skin. A gasp left your lips. “You truly are beautiful.”

“Thank you.” you mumbled.

Benedict returned to the canvas, telling himself he could do this.

He shouldn't.

But if your face wouldn't be seen, it would do no harm. Only you and him would know it's you.

A few hours had passed and the night had fallen. It was difficult to paint with the growing darkness hiding your features, so he left his piece for a second to find some candles.

Before he returned to the canvas, you spoke. “Am I doing it well?”

“You certainly are,” he praised you. “A natural indeed.”

You had goosebumps once again.

What is wrong with me?, you asked yourself.

How could Benedict, of all people, make you feel like this? How could he control the speed of your heartbeat with mere words? How could he turn your skin into a burning mess that acted as if it was freezing? How could he make your hands sweat each time he got closer? How could he make you forget how much you despised him after he said he loved you?

How did he love you? He said you were family, but he did not dare to call you a sister like his siblings always do. No, this was a different kind of love: the kind of love you read about in the romance novels you have stolen from his library, because that is the way you were feeling near his presence, under his stare, at his touch.

“Come here,” you commanded long before you thought what you would say. He complied, flying to you like a moth to a flame, but you were sunlight: billions of times more powerful, and you could consume him long before he dared to reach you. He felt like a moth with wigs made of wax, melting with each step that brought him close to you. Gladly. “How do you love me, Benedict?”

“What?”

It was unbelievable that a man of words like him could act so clueless, but there he was. Oblivious to your passion, not to mention his.

“I have always been your Mama's daughter and your brothers and sisters' sister. But I have never been yours,” you mentioned. “Why, if you love me so?”

“Y/N…” His hand caressed your face, and you took the other to put it on your left breast where he could feel your heart beating.

“Kiss me if what my beating heart says about your love is true.” It was an order, and that heart of yours was certainly right.

And right then, he knew he was careless of his own insignificance. He would fly as high as the melting wax allowed him to and fall as deep into the ocean as his own weight imposed.

He could drown and disappear, live and die for this moment. For all the frustration that has haunted him all those years of loathing and yearning. For his sunlight, for you.

He kissed you, and you returned the kiss as if your lips had ever touched others before.

They haven't.

They shouldn't.

But they are now.

It was an angry kiss. Wet, carnal, breathless, hot, feral, everything.

His lips did not caress yours or danced with yours, no; they fought and devoured yours, and you gave in.

It was exquisite but depraved in a way you couldn't bring yourself to explain, and you absolutely loved it.

Once the kiss ended, you were the first to talk. “Take it all off.”

He breathed out, nerves he does not recall to have ever felt scared his determination away.

He felt as pathetic as those men he threatened to ruin if they were to set foot in the same room as you ever again, and he took off his clothes with the urgency of a task set by the scary educator of his childhood.

You looked at him, took it all in, and gave him space to lay beside you.

“It's just us, Benedict…” you let out, your breath blending with his. “You can love me now.”

His cue.

#benedict bridgerton #bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton x reader #bridgerton #benedict bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton smut #benedict bridgerton imagine #bridgerton imagine

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runningfrom2am · 5 months

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leveling the playing field IV

summary: you didn't meet the requirements for the plinth prize, only to find out that you're not just missing out on that- you're missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. your friend wants to help, because maybe you can help each other.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 2.5k

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do, kind of). implications and discussion of abuse, so read with caution!!

masterlists // nav // requests

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a/n: im just hammering this out at this point-

next part

The following days were full of a new routine. Every morning, take pain medication for your now neverending migraine, gather food for Lucy Gray and the Snow's, check in with Jessup and redress his bite as best you can, go to the hospital and be denied visitation to Coryo, go to class, and then start the cycle again that afternoon. You were getting burnt out, and quickly- your parents were displeased that you weren't home as often. Their patience was wearing thin.

If you were honest with yourself, your patience was also wearing thin. You were catering to Lucy Gray, which of course you agreed to do, but in the case that she wins the games, the Plinth Prize would not be going to you. It would still go to Coriolanus- and he was in the hospital doing nothing but recovering. Which was good. You remind yourself several times a day that you are happy to help because at least he isn't dead.

The sun is setting when Coriolanus wakes up again, this time feeling less groggy. He's been in and out the last few days, most of it as a blur due to the pain medication that has been pumping into his system through an IV for the last few days. He does vaguely remember waking up to eat as much as he could stomach, talking to Clemensia, maybe, unless he was hallucinating, and telling a nurse to stop letting you in when he kept seeing covered plates and glass containers showing up with more food. It had to have been you, and while he was grateful for it, he loathed the idea of you pitying him.

Tigris and Sejanus were both present, now, and despite telling the staff to not let you in, he's more than a little disappointed you are not there. He furrows his brow, attempting to pull out the tube from his hand. "Hey, hey-" Tigris stops him, shaking her head out of confusion. "What are you doing?"

"I'm fine. I'm better." He insists, pushing her hand away.

"I need to go check on Lucy Gray..." He mumbles, shaking his head.

"Y/N is with her. She's fine." Sejanus tells him, standing by the end of the bed.

"Now? What time is it? How do you know?"

"Well, the interviews will start in an hour or so." His friend explains.

"An hour?" Coriolanus asks, now more frantically pulling out the tube with a hiss. He has to be there, he has to go introduce Lucy Gray. He didn't even consciously realize time was passing while he was there.

"No, Coryo, you can't go. Y/N can handle it." Tigris says, trying to calm him.

"Sejanus, are you going?" He asks, ignoring his cousin completely.

Sejanus looks down, shaking his head and twisting his fingers out of nervousness. "No, uh, Marcus escaped. He's gone."

Coriolanus was disappointed- he was hoping he would be able to hitch a ride with him. He'll have to run- though it isn't too far.

"Okay, well, I'm going." He insists, grabbing a pile of clean clothes that Tigris had brought for him the day previous.

Tigris gives up on trying to stop him, and Sejanus hasn't really attempted to. He knows that you would be happy to see him if he is feeling well enough to go. Watching you in class, constantly jittery and even a little pale, made it evident that you needed Coriolanus, or you were worried, at the very least.

Thankful for the morphing he still had in his bloodstream, he makes it to the studio in time for Lucy Gray's interview, even with a few minutes to spare. As soon as he sees you, he can tell that you've been struggling. The bags under your eyes couldn't be hidden by makeup, nor could your healing bruises from the bombing that were now turning a shade of green that would typically make him ill. Scattered as well among them were some darker ones, purple ones, around your elbow and on your wrist. Regardless, you're smiling- talking in a hushed tone to Lucy Gray.

You're opening your brother's guitar case, carefully lifting it out of the velvet that surrounded it when you see Coryo walking toward you, and you're immediately abandoning your effort to stand up and greet him. "Coryo? What are you doing here?" You ask, excitement fading into worry.

"I wouldn't miss it." He smiles politely, adjusting his cuffs.

You sigh, finding the effort to match his smile. "You made it." Lucy Gray grins at him, brushing over her face with a cloth you offered her, a small effort to clean up the dirt and grime that clung to her skin in the zoo.

"Well, I got her a guitar. It's my brothers." You quickly move on, already feeling comforted by his presence alone. You grab it, holding it out to him as Lucy digs into the makeup that you had brought for her to borrow, hoping to add some life back into her face.

He takes it, looking over the polished wood and the brand-new strings. "Thank you. And it's tuned? Working order?"

"Tip top shape." You promise with a nod. "I had it professionally looked over this morning."

"You're a dream." Coryo praises you, making you blush. "Thank you, Y/N. Truly."

"It's my job."

Lucy Gray did amazing in her performance- and everyone loved it. She received the most donations by a long shot, which will allow Coriolanus to help her in the arena. As much as he can without changing her abilities to defend herself or fight, anyway.

You had made it home shortly after, returning your brother's guitar and having a shower before practically crawling into bed. Finally, you feel like you may be able to get a good night's sleep. Coryo is home, and even though you have an early morning, you'll be able to relax enough to rest.

That is, until you hear something snapping against the window next to your bed. You try and ignore it, covering your ears with your pillow, but the tapping persists.

You flick on your lamp and hesitantly pull back the curtain, peeking out to track the source of the noise. It was only a moment before your eyes landed on Coryo, who waves when he can see you in the window. You rub your eyes, squinting from the light and sliding the window open.

"Coryo?" You ask, confused as to why he's here.

"Come down, bring your notebook." He whispers loud enough for you to hear, but his voice is still soft enough to not wake anyone else in your house. "And a coat, it's quite cold."

You sigh. "Okay. Give me two minutes." Apparently, rest isn't a part of your evening plans.

You follow alongside him all the way to the arena, already set up to host the Hunger Games in the morning.

"Woah..." You gasp, walking into the same clearing you had just days before, but now it looked like a whole new place. "Okay. This we can work with." You smile a little to yourself, not noticing Coryo training his eyes on you.

He watches as you walk ahead of him, immediately toward the center of the large room as you scribble in your notebook. You wanted to get down as many details as possible, every new pile of debris or hole that could offer a place of refuge for Lucy Gray. Coriolanus wants to focus on the task at hand, but this is the first time he's been around you without the prying eyes of classmates or adults in a long time. You were never alone, he almost always was outside of school.

Walking up next to you, the light from the moon hits your hair and the side of your face as you look around, hardly glancing at the book in your hand. "Are you..." He starts, being reminded of what he noticed on the walk over but wouldn't dare to mention.

"Hm?" You prompt him to continue, drawing your attention to the boy in front of you now and lifting your pen to your mouth, biting onto it while you shake out a cramp in your wrist.

"Are you wearing makeup?" He asks, leaning in slightly to get a closer look.

"Excuse me?" You laugh awkwardly after grabbing the pen once more, taking a small step back. "Certainly your grandmother taught you its unbecoming to ask a lady such a question."

He chuckles slightly, looking away from you. "Bold of you to assume I consider you a lady." He jokes.

You gasp in mock offense, playfully smacking his arm. "How dare you!" You can't help but laugh. Now you remember why you were friends. Or why you considered him a friend, and why he believed that he was merely tolerating you. In reality, he didn't have to bring you. He could have come on his own, but why should he when you would be willing to accompany him? You're known for your attitude, your brashness, and he admired your unwavering ambition- whatever you wanted you would get. Not just because of your family name, either. You were willing to work for it, to fight for it.

Coriolanus was walking a fine line between desiring your presence and his own indifference. Now, surpassing a mere tolerance of you, this change scared him. "I know what you look like, you know. It's the middle of the night, there was no use wasting our time with putting on makeup." He says, not wanting to let on his own intrigue on the topic.

"I would argue that you don't, not since we were fourteen, anyway." You reply, dipping your head to get back to your sketching. "It's more of a force of habit."

His closeness allows him to grab your chin between his thumb and forefinger, gently but firmly lifting your head back up to get a better look at you. Your eyes widen, your heartbeat increasing with a mix of fear and embarrassment.

His eyes bore into you, into every part of your face as if your skin would somehow tell him the full story. You can't bring yourself to speak, just waiting for him to find the answers he wanted.

"Is it your father?" He asks, looking into your eyes now, his grip loosening on your chin.

You take a quick step back. You were aware that he knew something, he was the only one who tended to stare too long at your skin wherever it was exposed ever since you were thirteen and he asked what happened when you came to school with a bruise on your cheek. Notably more so after your essay last year that rewarded you with only a B.

"I won't tell anyone." He says, and your own voice echoes in your mind after telling him the same thing just the other day at your house. "I would have by now if I was going to."

"Why do you care?" You bite back, defensiveness being your go to weapon in a war of self-preservation.

He wants to spit at you that he doesn't, but that's a lie he couldn't even dream of in this moment. You'd storm out, probably never talk to him again, and that idea hurt him. "I want to help you."

"Well, not much anyone can do now is there?" You reply, attempting to move on. "Let's look around." You try and change the subject, give yourself an outlet to walk away, but this doesn't work as Coryo is grabbing your wrist, stopping you from taking another step.

"You can help by ignoring it." You sigh, his blue eyes just staring as he scrambled to find the right thing to say. "By not treating me like I'm going to break at every turn. How does that sound?"

He opens his mouth to speak but he doesn't, slightly shaking his head. He wants to release his grip on your wrist, tense and tight with urgency, but how could he without giving you the idea he thinks he's hurting you? He slides his hand into yours, holding his breath. "I apologize. It's not what I intended."

Now it's your turn to be speechless, staring down at your hands locked together.

"I just wanted to keep you safe." He explains, dancing around the idea even in his own mind that maybe he cares for you more than he should. "After Arachne, and after Clemensia, and now the Ring twins and Felix still fighting in that hospital bed it's so obvious to me that we are far from safe in this. We always were."

Your brow furrows. "What happened to Clem?"

"Dr. Gaul..." He takes in a deep breath. "One of her experiments, Clemensia has been in the hospital for days and she has these scales growing all over her and I thought I watched her die and then you almost died and-"

"Hey, hey, woah-" You cut him off, stepping closer again and not daring to drop his hand as he begins to crumble in front of you. "I'm still here, aren't I?"

He just nods, attempting to swallow back the fear in his voice.

"Okay. So, we've made it this far. You'll get that prize, we'll move on. Next year it will be someone else's problem. You will be safe." You say, squeezing his hand gently. "We're almost done, just a few more days."

His mouth is dry, and despite his heart racing, he knows you are right. After tonight, you won't be face-to-face with the tributes again. Neither of you will be in harm's way anymore, at least, not due to the games. Life will return to normal for you, and he will claim the prize he is owed and his life will change for the better. You won't be bringing him food every day, and you won't both be stressing over how to best prepare Lucy Gray. The tightness in his chest returns as his thoughts devolve- will he miss you?

It catches you off guard when he pulls you into a hug. Tight, panicked, heavy under the weight of all the tragedy and grief the two of you walk around with day to day. There is no one who gets him quite like you do. This time, he rests his chin on your head as your arms wrap around his waist, hands overlapping on his back. No, it's not enough. He tilts his head down so he can feel the warmth of you on his cheek, holding you tight as he takes in the scent of your hair. It's not roses, not like his mother's powder or what's left of her clothes in the Snow apartment, it's fresh. The smell of whatever soap you use doesn't demand to be noticed and inhaled, it's mostly full of you. Raspberries. That's it- it's raspberries mixed with you.

"We're almost done..." You whisper again, gently rubbing his back now in reassurance. He wonders, could you not feel the weight of everything? Of both of your entire lives barreling toward you all at once? Of course not. You were Y/N Y/L/N, you could only feel the pain of others; altruism drips out of every ounce of your being despite your habit of lashing out. Of course, you couldn't see it. You only saw him right now. Not his fear of losing you.

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#coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow #coryo snow #tbosas #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #hunger games #thg #thg fanfic #thg fanfiction

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chiocchi · 4 months

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If you don't mind answering, why do you ship Tom Riddle and Harry Potter? Besides the whole issue that they are enemies, and the age difference, both characters are heterosexual. It's canonical fact. If it's the dynamic you like... Have you thought about Tomione's ship? They have a lot of potential together. And in the right direction, they would be a couple that could make it in the books.

JDKLJKLFJSDLKFJA This kinda feels like people knocking on your door and trying to get you to believe in their religion. It's pretty funny.

I don't know why are you calling issues to a part of the pairing's appeal lkajdsjfs (And Hermione is Harry's age and they are on the same side too?). And not sure about that canonical fact. Harry can be read as bisexual quite easily and Voldemort|Tom... idk he seems more obsessed with power, immortality, and Harry. But even if that's the case, I don't see why it should matter. We're in fandom after all.

I don't know if I'll be able to convey why I like this ship so much. For starters, I'm really into the unique connection they share. There was a piece of Voldemort's soul inside Harry's; they had a mental link; a whole language they're the only ones to speak (for the most part); Voldemort chose him and marked him; and there's even a prophecy that linked them together. There aren't two people more connected than them. They're soulmates, and the fact that Voldemort didn't intend it and Harry hates it adds another layer of complexity.

But not only that, they're like a broken reflection of each other, which I find fascinating. In his second year, Harry was worried about the similarities between them. Both half-bloods, orphans, raised by Muggles, they both considered Hogwarts their first real home. I feel like they would have really understood each other in other circumstances. They would have been friends. Because one of their key differences is that Harry found friends and adults that loved him while Tom was probably bullied and, y'know, the whole Dumbledore thing.

Not to mention that Harry would die for everyone whereas Tom would kill everyone. They're insane in their own way. I love their similarities and differences, but more than anything else, I love when they're together. The fanfics and fanarts are awesome.

And the whole thing of being enemies feels quite gay sometimes klafjdlskfja. Harry can't help but think Tom is handsome and, despite everything Voldemort did, Harry wanted to give him one last chance to show remorse. I have no doubt Harry is crazy enough to actually forgive him.

I've thought about Tomione and I've come to the conclusion that I don't like it. pinktom has a really good post about it and I agree with it. Besides, Hermione liked Ron and had something with Krum, and they're nothing like Tom. Just because she's heterosexual doesn't mean she's attracted to any man, y'know? klajdlfkdjs I don't think they would have been a couple in the books, no matter the direction. If it's the dynamic you like, have you thought about Tomarry? More believable, more intense, and a wider range of wholesomeness to fucked up in the fics. It's really interesting. Unless you don't like men being together? Hmm? Suspicious (just kidding. To each their own. So no need to go to other people's asks to try to change their minds :kek:).

Also Harry is my favorite character and he's not replaceable. I kinda don't care about any other character tbh. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

#weird asks

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shares-a-vest · 1 year

Text

At first, Eddie and Steve keep their relationship a secret. It isn't because they are embarrassed, nor do they even think their friends will be disapproving. It's simply because they happen to be friends with the most annoying, overbearing busy-bodies on planet earth.

It was bound to happen, all of them being so involved in each others' lives to the point that it's probably a serious co-dependent situation that someone (or Nancy) should study with science or some shit. But being bonded by unimaginable terrors from another dimension will do that.

Anyway, the pack of gremlins are always around, always demanding attention, always in the way of Eddie and Steve. So Eddie takes it upon himself to tease the dumbass twerps who remain oblivious to his relationship with their favourite babysitter.

Case in point: Dustin, Will and Lucas have been driven around all damn afternoon by Steve, mostly wasting time and wingeing about him not providing them with enough fun despite the fact they were now living in the near ghost town. All the while Eddie rides shotgun, watching his boyfriend become increasingly annoyed as the likelihood of a date night dwindles with each passing second.

“Our problems would be solved if Steve would just drive us into the city,” Dustin whines, staring at the back of the driver’s seat like he wants to burn a hole in it El-style.

“Absolutely not!” Steve argues as he pulls into the Wheeler’s driveway.

“Eddie?” Dustin asks, voice sickly sweet as he leans in between the front seats. “Can you drive us?”

“Gee, Henderson, love that I’m your last resort,” Eddie scoffs as he continues picking at his nails.

He slumps back in his seat, bracing himself for the same argument Dustin has had with Steve for the past week. That is unless he speeds this up a little and gently teases Steve while he's at it...

“Anyway,” he continues, drawing out his words as he dares a glance at Steve who merely rolls his eyes. “I’m busy.”

“Busy with what?” Lucas asks, more accusatory than curious.

“Nothing,” he responds, waiting on bated breath for more queries.

Steve slowly turns his head and he can’t help but give a teasing wink that leaves his boyfriend white-knuckling the steering wheel.

“It’s a Saturday. There’s no Hellfire because you are keeping us waiting on whatever torture you are concocting," Dustin insists, jostling Steve’s seat with every word and earning a series of grumbles from their chauffeur. “And you don’t have work.”

Eddie shrugs. “I have a date.”

At that, Dustin launches forward, an inch from Eddie’s face.

“You don’t date!” he shrieks.

“Do so,” Eddie says, shifting in his seat to square off with his young friend. “I have a life outside entertaining you dorks. Also, Henderson, that is the meanest thing you have ever said to me.”

He mimics sniffling and uses his index finger to simulate a tear running down his cheek as he pouts.

“So, who’s your girlfriend?” Dustin demands, his eyebrows disappearing up under his cap.

“Yes, do tell,” Steve adds, narrowing his eyes at him as he turns off the ignition, challenging.

Will remains silent in the back seat, despite Lucas opening the rear passenger door at the sight of Mike standing at his front stoop, waiting.

“Oh, you know…” Eddie begins, gesturing with his hand as he searches for some generic details. “Nice… hates her parents, which gives me ample opportunity to do my ‘bad boy boyfriend’-schitck… Very pretty… Great hair! Like, the best... Has a great rack.”

He nods at that last one before twirling a lock of his hair and crossing it over his face.

“You shouldn’t talk about girls like that,” Dustin shoots back, ever the goody-goody.

His words almost conceal a huffed laugh from Steve that only Eddie seems to catch. Truthfully, he can’t help but giggle too, mostly because despite being the brainiac of the century, Henderson of all people, had remained completely oblivious for months now. Also Steve's cheek has turned pink and that's worth him being smug about.

“Says the person who takes dating advice from King Steve,” Eddie counters.

He reaches over to run a finger up Steve's arm and lingers just enough. It makes Steve, already biting his lip from the nickname, squirm in his seat.

“And I have a girlfriend because of it!” Dustin retorts, adjusting his cap with a proud flourish and patting Steve on the shoulder.

It makes him jump, likely remembering that three of his kids are in the back of the car cramping his style.

“Alrighty,” he splutters, giving one of those rousing dad-slash-gym teacher claps that Eddie finds oddly authoritative in a hot way. “Out of the car, assholes.”

Dustin looks at Steve, incredulous as if it’s some great offence to be dejected from the car when they have reached their destination. Steve just raises his eyebrows in defiance at their young friend. He really does look cute when he's grumpy.

The boys huff and exit, taking the loss this time around. Steve watches as they walk towards the Wheeler’s front door and gesticulate wildly as they talk. Mike looks at the car with his signature stink-eye and takes a step forward. Steve promptly fires up the engine.

He intentionally revs the car, giggling as the kids jump at the sound.

“So, where are you taking me on a date?” he asks, rolling the car along and veering away from Mike before he can ask a damn thing.

“I thought we could watch movies at my place,” Eddie shrugs, offering his go-to plan.

“That isn’t a date!” Steve shrieks.

Eddie can’t help but grumble at the foiled idea. He gives Mike the finger as Steve peels out of the driveway, ranting about all the activities he steadfastly considers not a date.

#not a braincell in sight #does anyone ever write a whole thing just so they can just get ONE SENTENCE out of their brain???#that’s me with Eddie saying Steve has a great rack lmao #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie ficlet #lilys ficlets

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keiicom · 9 months

Text

Yjh things the Webtoon 'forgot' to mention or to point out bc they hate novel yjh

Warning for vague webtoon spoilers ig?? No spoilery names are named and no unreleased scenarios are mentioned/specified btw but I thought I'd add this warning just in case :)

He waited three days on the bridge for kdj to resurface after he dropped him in the Ichytosaurs mouth. Just. Waited there.

He smiles when Kdj tries his food and says it's good (it's more like a tiny smug smile tbh)

He is a WORRIER. Man worries about everything, but sucks at expressing it through actions bc that's when he's most easily misunderstood. It is EXTREMELY easy to misunderstand his actions unless the other characters ask him what he's doing and why [after he explains, he turns out to be actually really thoughtful tbh]

When he tells 41st round shin yoosung to "quit her blabbering"...he wasn't that harsh in the novel. The line was changed (still don't know why) but originally he said something about not having enough time, and wasn't a complete asshole.

Also during that same arc/scene it was revealed that he woke her up because he genuinely didn't think she'd attack him/be mad at him iirc, so it wasn't him being stupid, just somewhat naive

When Iris called KDJ ugly he actually stepped forward and intimidated her by glaring so she'd stop talking :) because he sensed fighting spirit in her and he decided to react lmao

His eyebrow moves similarly to a caterpillar when he's about to make an important decision (note: kdj points this out in the novel because he's always staring at yjh I swear to god there's proof)

Yjh puts on a 'cool' face when he's been caught or called out after trying to be sneaky (he's SO BAD at being sneaky istg I love this man so much)

He sometimes uses his skills for stupid and petty shit *said lovingly with heart eyes*

He's more likely to give someone/an NPC a quick death than to make them suffer until they die

He always goes along with KDJ's plans, even though Kdj barely tells him ANYTHING about them ever 😭 He glares but still goes along with them I NEED Y'ALL TO UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS- /lh

He drags his sword on the ground when he's happy/satisfied with something, or generally in a good mood. Also Loves to clean his sword (I think the webtoon added a scene of him cleaning the sword like. once)

He loves his sister more than anything (we haven't seen a lot of scenes with yoo mia AND yjh in the webtoon yet but I have high expectations for those knowing how much he adores her in the novel)

Mans RUNS to help every time kdj is in danger, unless he genuinely thinks kdj 1) can handle the situation himself or 2) deserves the punishment

He has MONOLOGUES in his head even though he only ever says like two sentences thakrhsjfjb, and is very eloquent when given the chance to explain his thought process/reasoning

[which kdj rarely lets him do. bc he's hellbent on doing the talking and most other characters don't expect yjh to talk anyway]

The hand holding scene that was turned into a weird wrist holding scene? Yes originally they held hands (he wasn't as angry then either)

He's a serial texter and will spam message people

He loves dumplings

He gets jealous when other people monopolize Dokja's attention for too long (also canon, ex: Sangah, [redacted 1], sometimes han sooyoung, [redacted 2], [redacted 3] 💀 and WILL glare at Kdj or demand answers depending on how severe the transgression is)

He's tired. So, so tired.

HE CAN LAUGH

he doesn't let Han Sooyoung live out of pride/not wanting to lose to kdj (???? what even was that). he lets her live because he doesn't want kdj to think poorly of him / alternatively he doesn't want to lose him as an ally. Not everything is about pride with him 🫠

he looks embarrassed after hearing yoo mia tell him he looks "happy when you talk about [kdj]". the narration also gives her statement some credibility, because "she knows him well since she's his sister". but of course they made him look angry instead of embarrassed 🙄 bc god forbid he shows any other facial expression ever

He's nosy (again: said lovingly with heart eyes). You'll notice how even when he pretends not to care, he'll still stick around to see how things develop/gather info on 'important' stuff. If he's not interested, he'll just leave, bc he's the kind of guy to just do that. So if he doesn't leave, even if he's pretending not to care... you see where I'm going with this

He has a sense of humor, believe it or not (though most of the time he's hilarious without meaning to)

When [redacted] asked yoo joonghyuk what his deal was with kdj and why he wanted him in his group he said "kdj is necessary for this world. I need him." but webtoon decided to skip that line 🫠

Yjh says "I guess your mother doesn't like me" instead of this "like mother like son" bullshit, because the second one implies dokja doesn't like him. which couldn't be farther from the truth

I'd add more but the rest is spoilers fhajhrjeka so yeah I'll just wait to see what webtoon does first and I'll update this as they go

#writing about orv is hard because after reading so many fanfics I no longer can tell what's canon and whats not 😭#i think I finally got all the canon differences with the webtoon though #but y'all feel free to correct me if something's wrong #orv #omniscient reader #omniscient reader's viewpoint #when did this turn into an “all the things I love about yjh” post 💀#I was NOT gonna wait until the dark castle arc to talk about how yjh actually has feelings alright 😭 I'm sorry I'm not that strong

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hualianisms · 5 months

Text

Not father & son, not master & disciple, but a secret third thing

First of all, let me preface this by being clear that everyone is free to headcanon anything they want and like/dislike anything they like/dislike! That being said, sometimes I see international fans interpret FDB as LLH's son, or their dynamic as parent-child or otherwise familial, and as a native chinese speaker, I just wanted to share some reasons why I personally did not interpret them as familial.

Granted, at the start of the show, FDB is kept in the dark and also not up to LLH's level of skill in solving cases. However, FDB quickly catches up in crime-solving skills, intellect and maturity by the 2nd half of the show, after a well-written growth arc. I think the beauty of the characters and relationships in this show is that they grow & evolve, and are meant to do so. The dynamic that LLH & FDB had in episode 1 is quite different from their dynamic at the end of the show. By the later episodes, they are 2 adults who are very much equals.

Why I don't read them as father & son:

LLH & FDB act and speak in a manner that is far too informal & familiar with one another, which would be extremely inappropriate for any kind of parent & child, even a surrogate one. Several times, FDB calls LLH by just his first name "Lianhua", and sometimes even calls him "Damn Lianhua" when he is angry/upset at LLH. This would be extremely rude for a disciple to call a master, or a son to call a father. No son talks to his father the way FDB talks to LLH, and no disciple talks to their master like that. Unless the son/disciple hates the father/master, and is outright rejecting his father/master altogether. As we see in the show, not only does FDB not hate LLH at all, he instead cares deeply for LLH and would do anything to save him. Why, then would someone scold/curse someone they care about? Does the trope of the upset spouse/partner sound familiar?

For comparison, see FDB's interactions with He Xiaohui, who he is close to - he is informal & affectionate with her, but never calls her anything other than "娘 niang" ("mother"). I can't emphasize enough how taboo it is in Chinese culture to ever call your parent or parental figure by their name under any circumstance.

2. In ep 31, FDB himself explicitly rejects the idea of LLH as his shifu and himself as LLH's disciple, responding that he is too old to be LLH's disciple and it was merely a joke. He clearly sees LLH as an equal, and rejects the notion of their relationship being anything other than that of 2 adult equals. LLH also tells his shiniang that FDB is not his disciple, and a few episodes ago LLH told FDB that he has never understimated FDB.

Coding/hints as something other than platonic:

Zhiji/zhijiao - FDB calls LLH his 知交 zhijiao in ep 19, and 知己 zhiji in ep 34. "In this life, I, Fang Duobing, recognize you as my only zhiji." is practically a love declaration. And this bond is reciprocated by LLH, bc in a deleted line in ep 19, translated by forayuarchive on twitter, LLH is the one who first calls FDB his zhijiao.

To clarify, Zhiji is not specifically a romantic term, but it's what was used in both The Untamed and Word of Honor - both dramas based on danmei novels with canon gay main pairings - to bypass censorship, to code the bond between the main duo as deeper than your typical platonic male friendship. (See this post for a detailed explanation of the significance/history behind the term zhiji, and see this twitter thread for an explanation of the meaning of zhijiao in MLC - especially how zhijiao is specifically mutual, reciprocated).

2. Married bickering - forayuarchive on twitter has discussed in these twitter threads how the tone of many of LLH & FDB's interactions (especially FDB) is similar to how married couples or romantic partners speak to one another bc of the level of familiarity, tone and language. For my fav example, see this note (translation by forayuarchive) that FDB left LLH in ep 35, which reads pretty much like a note that a spouse/partner might write when leaving their shared house in a hurry.

3. "Xiaobao" - Personally as a native Chinese speaker, LLH calling FDB "xiaobao" in front of everyone is a level of intimacy that genuinely would make me feel embarrassed to hear as a third party. 小宝 xiao bao (literal meaning = "little treasure") is usually something you call actual babies/children AND is FDB's family nickname for him, so if you're calling a grown man that in front of everyone including his colleagues, family and even strangers, then one might assume he is likely either your biological family or your romantic partner. (For comparison, just imagine calling your s/o their parent's special childhood nickname for them at work.)

4. Deleted lines where FDB calls LLH "xiaohua'er". 小花儿 Xiaohua'er ("little flower") is very intimate and feels like something someone might call a lover. Or, at least, definitely not a platonic shifu, even less so a parental figure. (For meta on the names that LLH & FDB use for one another, see forayuarchive's twitter thread.)

5. More deleted scenes (translated by forayuarchive on twitter), perhaps cut due to censorship, which make apparent LLH's high regard and deep care for FDB. For e.g., a line of internal monologue by LLH in ep 40, translated here by forhenjun, shows that LLH thinks of FDB as the only person in his two lifetimes who has always treated him as a human being rather than putting him on an unfair pedestal.

6. Official MLC accounts act like as if they ship them.

As murderedbyhomework mentioned, there is a song in the official soundtrack of MLC called "Fanghua's Day-to-Day Life" (yes, the exact same words as their ship name). Sounds like a couple's daily domestic life, doesn't it?

The official iQiYi Romance youtube channel lists clips of LLH & FDB under the romance category.

The official MLC douyin account posts MVs with emotional captions (e.g. this one translated here by forayuarchive) that emphasize how much both LLH and FDB mean to one another. Another official MLC douyin calls LLH & FDB the person each other trusts the most.

The MLC clips posted by the official Guangdong TV weibo account also has captions such as these (translated by rice_jpg) that straight up describe FDB's feelings towards LLH as "when you like someone" (very similar CN phrasing as the phrasing used to describe romantic crushes).

7. They are subtly paralleled with a canon straight romantic couple (see fanqxiaobao's twitter thread on the parallels btwn LXY/QWM scenes and certain LLH/FDB scenes). MLC also made a distinct change from the novel by not having FDB get married to Princess Zhaoling, even though the drama could have easily given FDB a romance with her.

8. If you're familiar with chinese romantic tropes or the danmei genre, LLH & FDB fit many common romantic tropes e.g. sharing a drink on the rooftop under the moonlight, forgotten first meeting in childhood (and then meeting again properly as adults), power couple fighting side by side (they even held hands!), nianxia, protective younger ml, sickly older mc - just to name a few. Danmei even has many stories of shizun/shifu & disciple pairings who fall in love as adult equals.

There's honestly lots more but these are just some off the top of my head. Again everyone is free to interpret anything! This is just me explaining why as a native chinese speaker I personally did not read their dynamic as that of a father and son.

#莲花楼 #mysterious lotus casebook #li lianhua #fang duobing #fanghua #mlc meta #ik i alr made a post abt this but i just wanted to compile everything tgth in one post for my own ref too #full credit to the ops of the sources linked for the translations and meta!!#let me be very clear this is not me telling anyone to ship fanghua!! everyone is free to do/not do whatever they want; fandom is free #and to clarify this is not against feihua/ot3 at all; i multiship too #this post is solely about the 'fdb is llh's son' take #just explaining why shipping them is a valid interpretation given certain nuances in their portrayal

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ohthewh0rror · 6 months

Text

MATTHEO RIDDLE: DATING HEADCANONS

A/N: if you’re looking for a “bad boy” with behavioral issues, but none of the homicidal tendencies, look no further than Tom Riddles son! (Or in some cases his brother, an idea I still don’t understand)

Honestly he flirts with you at first as a joke.

Which sounds bad! I know! But he wasn’t doing it to make fun of you. He’s a flirt, that’s just who he is, it’s harmless fun.

That’s the dynamic for a while: the whole annoying classmate and/or housemate that teases you who you say you can’t stand but are sad when they aren’t in class.

Once he does start to develop a crush on you, the teasing let’s up, and he starts just having genuine conversations with you.

You think this is him losing interest in you, so imagine your surprise when he says, “you know you’re my girlfriend, right?”.

And that was the start of the relationship!

Let’s get real here: Mattheo would not be a “bad boy 🥰”. He’s a boy with serious authority and anger issues. The childhood trauma this boy has from having Voldemort as his father is through the fucking roof.

The relationship is very fragile, it’s a on-again-off-again type of relationship for a long time.

One minute he’s the best boyfriend you’ve ever had, and the next you’re screaming at him to get away from you because of something he’s said or done.

It always ends the same: you ignore each other for a while, no one apologizes, and then one day Mattheo will start talking to you again like the argument 2 weeks ago didn’t happen. Now you’re back together.

This relationship is never going to last though unless Mattheo can work through his personal problems.

Mattheo wouldn’t be a bad ex to have, unless you two ended on a bad note. Mattheo enjoys ruining other people’s life/day for fun, and he will do the same to you if you crossed him in some way.

On a good note!! Let’s get the sweet side of him:

Loves to play with your hair. Takes the ends of your hair and twirls them around his finger.

Gets you things he thinks you would like, even if it’s just a little trinket he saw while out at Hogsmeade, he will buy it and bring it back to you saying he has a surprise for you.

Loves to situate himself between your legs, resting his head on you, his cheek squished against your chest as you run your nails lightly across his upper back.

Helps you study by making up ridiculous games to play using cards. It also helps take your mind off the nervousness you may have about said test.

If you’re having a bad day he won’t hesitate to sweep his thumb under your eyes, wiping the tears away and pulling you in for bone crushing hug.

Has no problem letting you cry it out on his shoulder, and honestly gives you great advice, no matter your situation.

Is always on your side!! Literally your #1 supporter.

Even when you two are on a break and you’re not speaking to each other, he will not let anyone disrespect you. Any hateful word uttered about you is met with him smashing said persons face in.

Mattheo takes care of your needs first in bed. Makes you cum before he’ll fuck you.

It doesn’t matter if he has to finger you, eat you out, etc. he’ll do it every time if it’ll get you off.

Loves aftercare, is very touchy after the fact, and it’s why (contrary to popular belief) he’s not the biggest fan of quickies.

Might call you a ‘bitch’ and a ‘whore’ in bed, but never outside of that.

He refers to you as “my girl” to his friends, but uses pretty generic pet-names to your face.

Will refer to you as his “sweet girl” even if you’re an absolutely terrible human being!!

Because to them you may be awful, but to him you’re the best things that’s ever walked earth.

Marriage/Father bonus:

First of all: doesn’t want kids.

You two probably won’t have kids because he’d be very cautious.

But!!! If you two did have an accidental baby, he’d be a girl dad.

Though he didn’t want kids at first, he is a good dad in the end. Well, as good as someone with his trauma can be.

Tries to be the father that his wasn’t.

You two get married either way!! It’s your dream wedding, he will spare no expenses for you. If it makes you happy, he’ll find a way to make it happen.

#this is not proof read so if there mistakes #I’ll just have to fix them later #anyway #love our residential bad boy #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo x you #mattheo x y/n #mattheo x reader #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x you

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silentcryracha · 10 months

Text

❍ ‗ Jealousy Headcanons (SKZ)‗ ❍

Pairings : Stray Kids x gn reader

Genre/warnings : Mentions of jealousy, might get a little toxic, sprinkles on fluff because we love a happy ending, not nsfw but it's suggestive in a few bits.

Summary : How, why and when the Stray Kids get jealous. Not a ranking.

Word count : 2.8k

A/n : None. As always, of course, this is just silly writing. Don't take it seriously :)

ps: There could be errors. Do NOT repost on other socials. Leave feedback if you feel like it, otherwise enjoy! ♡︎

Masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Chan ‗ ❍

I feel like Chan would generally be quite chill, simply because he's someone who doesn't like to hang out with toxic people, therefore would try to avoid issues from the start.

But while with some other members, fo example, the reason would be their good/non conflicting nature (which it is, for sure), I low-key think that in Chan's case could be because he's actually quite aware that when he gets mad/ annoyed with something, he's not gonna let it go easily.

He also wants to focus as much as possible on the positive and wholesome aspects of a relationship, but could unfortunately, when the time comes to have an argument, may be showing his worst self. Someone that he also hates and would like to keep locked away.

These situations wouldn't come up in relation to jealousy though, unless the relationship itself was toxic. In that case he'd either end things pretty quickly or spend a lot of time being upset and arguing, depending on how strong your bond is by that time. In the second case I think things would end up either very coldly or very messily.

Again, I feel like though he might get insecure at times, his reasons wouldn't be tied to any other person except himself.

He doesn't give a fuck about random people's opinions, but he cares about yours. Which is why feeling like he isn't doing his absolute best for you would be the worst.

For example, if a coworker or a friend was kind enough to make you a surprise/gift/bring you food to cheer you up, he'd feel upset that he didn't think about it first.

He'd start overthinking and doubting himself, maybe beating himself up over the fact that you haven't been on many dates lately or he's been too caught up in work.

He'd also probably go quiet because he feels bad,but you would catch up quickly and eventually reassure him and work things out.

If you did happen to get a little jealous (a normal amount I guess?) he would make sure to talk it out and understand what made you upset. Communication is fundamental and he knows it, even though sometimes he can't deliver quite well as he would like. He would always end up apologizing, though.

Now, about the kinky part, I do think that he would be into being a little possessive. Mostly because he's just so in love and attracted to you that the thought of other people even thinking of 'getting a piece' would drive him mad. Don't worry, he's gonna let it all out and remind you exactly who gets to make you feel good.

If you did that to him, he would find it extremely hot and amusing. He likes the fact that you're as desperate for him as he is for you, and would be more than willing to let you prove it to him however you wanted.

Minho ‗ ❍

Minho is quite similar to Seungmin I think, but with a sprinkle of Chan in the middle. He probably wouldn't stand a toxic partner, but I feel like he'd be more into it kink wise.

He seems like a pretty confident person, but overall I think that his own security would come from the fact that he wouldn't be with you if he didn't fully trusted you and respected you from the start.

I could see him getting a little possessive when he saw/felt other people being obvious with eyeing you or flirting. It would be more a question of pride than anything, though.

'Yeah, you like what you see? I fucking bet, too bad it's mine' or some shit like that. He'd really get off on you also being into it. I'd say that he would find it amusing when someone tried to flirt with you, because he knew you are his and would never betray him. He'd almost find it funny to see the disappointment on their faces.

He'd also appreciate you making some similar remarks, but accuse him of actually cheating or betraying you in some way and you lost him. You should know better, you should know HIM better.

He can play around a lot but when things get serious or too much into the emotional aspect then he'll take it very seriously, too.

Again, he wouldn't be with someone that he doesn't 100% trust or that wouldn't trust him, so it would come as an unwelcomed surprise and probably have a big fight over it before he dumps your ass.

Absolutely no time to waste on problematic behavior, especially within a relationship that should be his safe place. It would also leave him quite hurt and overthink it a lot, even if he wasn't in the wrong.

Changbin ‗ ❍

This man doesn't have a single bad bone in his body. That's why he would absolutely despise stuff like jealousy, but he is human too and sometimes humans do get a little into their heads.

His jealousy would come from either lack of attention (in his regards) or 'too much' attention (from other people to you). For Changbin it would never be THAT serious regardless, truly. He's a little silly so could very well just be jealous, mostly in a humorous way, of you for example petting and praising a dog.

He'd pout and go like 'What about me :(' and make you shower him with kisses and attention. That's truly the most he'd go in terms of being jealous of someone or something. He just really wants you to himself, okay?

When other people seem to be giving you 'too much attention' (which realistically is never, unless it's unwanted), it means that he just wishes that he did it first or more often. For example, if a friend bought you a specific thing that you've been wanting for a long time. He'd be really happy to see you happy, but low-key wished that he was the one who gave it to you, instead.

Overall unless it's something that could directly impact you in any way, he doesn't care. If a dude at the bar was being an asshole he wouldn't get jealous, he'd straight up fight (for you).

If you got jealous of him though, depending on the situations and the dynamic of your relationship I think that he'd either find it kinda cute that you wanted him for yourself (and make sure to shower you with attention). On the other hand, if the jealousy came from a more problematic mindset, he simply wouldn't put up with it and would be quite annoyed that you even implied about infidelity.

I feel like the whole 'You're mine' thing could potentially be a turn on in the bedroom but to a limited extent. He seems like the kind of guy that would lean into the more wholesome aspect of the relationship and avoid problematic feelings, even if it's just to mess around in private.

Hyunjin ‗ ❍

The thing about Hyunjin, is that he's a hopeless romantic. This is both a blessing and a curse, I think.

One one hand, you would expect him to have quite high standards for both himself and his partner, meaning that if he decides to be with someone they 100% have to have a similar mindset.

Between all the art, music, poetry, cinema and such, I feel like he would spend a lot of times just thinking and fantasizing about the things that he has seen/read/heard, and would probably end up creating a whole new idea of love in his mind.

Which, again, could be a blessing because the chances of him purposefully hurting you or cheating are very low. But, at the same time, would maybe end up reading too much into things or situations and end up disappointed/upset, even when he doesn't have reason to be.

He essentially could very well take a grain of salt and make it into a whole ocean. He'd also be pretty easy to fix things with I think, because he seems very direct. He's either the type to blurt out everything at once or be so overdramatically upset that you couldn't help but ask what was wrong.

Hyunjin wouldn't stand toxic or overly possessive behavior, I think. He'd end up having a big argument and break up pretty quickly if the relationship was fresh, but could try to 'gaslight' himself into thinking that it's just because you love him too much, until everything inevitably goes to hell (and you'd have a messy breakup). Would 100% cry for days on end and let it out through art (all kinds).

I have to admit though, that I don't think that he would be completely against a little jealousy. Again, he's a romantic (a little delulu, if you will) and would probably like a bit of the angst/teasing that comes with possessiveness/jealousy.

Would 100% do some movie-like stuff like come up to you and kiss you passionately in front of a person that was flirting/eyeing you up and down a little too much, just to prove the point.

Would also probably enjoy you doing the same (still a normal amount, I mean). This applies to the bedroom too, for sure. The words 'I'm yours/you're mine' are probably in a whole special chapter of his personal romance mind-book.

Jisung ‗ ❍

Yes, he would get jealous. To an extent. He's very sweet and likes to have fun and play around a lot, which is why I feel like this wouldn't show as much if he was in a healthy relationship, maybe with someone who is calmer than him.

In that case I think that the occasional jealousy would come mainly from him wanting to be the very best version of himself for you, and seeing you interact with people that seem to be able to give you something 'better than him', would upset him.

He would definitely bottle it up and either wait until you notice or explode in a random moment of vulnerability. He'd feel so bad afterwards. Why would it be you fault if he was not being enough for you?

I also feel like these intrusive thoughts and overthinking would never fully go away, but he'd try to tell himself to at least trust you and the loving words that you tell him. He tells himself that if you're still with him, there must be something that he's doing right at the end of the day.

If he happened to be caught up with a more jealous/obsessive person though, it would get SO messy. He can be a hot head sometimes, or so we've heard, so of course if you put two hot heads together what do you get? A big mess.

I feel like sometimes him being so much in his own head could make him seriously question his actions, especially if someone else is pointing them out to him.

I think that an obsessive behavior from a partner would be an absolute deal breaker, but unfortunately it'd depend on how deep he is into the relationship.

If you were at the early stages, then he'd have a way clearer mind to end things. But if maybe this had been going on for a while or he was truly into you, it would be a lot harder for him to deal with it in a healthy way. You would end up arguing A LOT and probably be toxic as hell with each other.

That being said, I think that he wouldn't necessarily have a thing/kinks related to this type of behaviors, but angry/make up sex would 100% be a thing. In that case, I'd expect him to go a little crazy with it.

Felix ‗ ❍

Felix seems to have a similar vibe to Jeongin, I think. He'd try as much as possible to avoid any type of uncomfortable/bad dynamics in a relationship.

For this to happen, though, he would have to be with someone that matches his vibe and that he could trust completely.

I don't think that there are things or situations that could get him actually jealous per se, but he could be feeling a little insecure in very random moments.

Like a casual comment on another person that you may find attractive and doesn't share some of his personality traits or features. Or maybe not as much as he'd like, which means that he'll think that's also what you would like, so he'd feel like he's not enough.

He would tend to get a little into his own head in these situations, which means that it would be up to you to actually understand if something was wrong. He'd eventually talk it out and forget pretty quickly about whatever the problem was, with the right amount of praise and affection.

I think Felix would be really turned off with a partner that would get overly jealous or possessive, especially if unjustified. BUT, I wouldn't rule out him actually being a little into it either.

For example if he was getting his make up or hair done and you'd say something like 'I wish that was my job' or something similar to tease him. I feel like he would find it amusing and genuinely boost his confidence, since of course he loves you and wants you to want him, too.

Could see him play around with it in the bedroom a little, especially to tease you. Careful or he might start purring if you'd go with something along the lines of 'The prettiest boy, and it's mine'

Seungmin ‗ ❍

He seems to be a quite cynical person. And can be a little insecure at times. Put these together, and you'll have a pretty emotionally unavailable man (sometimes).

The two things that could get Seungmin jealous are self doubt and possessiveness. He's someone who will love with all his heart, but that could scare him sometimes.

He would almost be afraid of loving too much and feeding into a 'delusion' (hence all the 'I don't believe in forever' stuff), that if broken, would absolutely crush him. He'd mostly blame/get mad at himself for allowing his heart to take over his mind.

He'd probably be quite afraid of not being enough > get embarrassed and mad at himself > shut you out because he's way too much in his own head. It would take some cooling off and some overthinking before he'd eventually even listen to you.

He's also someone who values actions way more than words, and this particular mindset would be useful whenever he's feeling a little jealous or possessive. It wouldn't be that easy to get him riled up, and he'd also probably not really act on it either. He gives off a petty/cold shoulder type of vibe more than an outburst.

Any type of jealousy would eventually be born from his own insecurity, not from him not trusting you. These situations would be fixed pretty quickly as soon as you'd manage to get him out of his head, whether it is from some sort of verbal reassurance or a physical action.

For example a hand hold at the right moment, including him in conversations, a random word of praise, a sweet phrase. On the other hand, this jealousy could very well be taken out in the bedroom too, I think. Would kinda get off on the whole 'I'm yours/you're mine' thing.

In general unless if you were are a pretty obsessive person yourself, he wouldn't give you reasons to get jealous. He seems pretty shy and quite careful with getting too comfortable, especially with strangers. He'd probably reflect on himself and eventually either work it out or be a deal breaker to him.

Jeongin ‗ ❍

Jeongin also seems like a person that wouldn't like the idea of jealousy or in general to deal with negative feelings.

He can get insecure sometimes but I feel like he'd end up making the problem about himself and wouldn't get 'triggered' by jealousy in regards of another person.

The only times in which he could get slightly annoyed is seeing you have fun with someone else that isn't him simply because he wants to be the one to make you happy all the time.

Jeongin really does look like the kind of guy who is just chill. If there aren't any issues within your relationship, he's not gonna be the first to make them. I also think that he wouldn't overthink on these type of things. If he decides to be with you in the first place it means that he trusts you and you probably have a similar mindset.

That's why I think that if you ever ended up being jealous over him, it would come as a surprise and not necessarily a good one. Of course it's different if you're joking, but he still wouldn't put up with it for long. I truly just feel like he hates the concept.

If he was the accused one, at first he'd try to talk it out and understand what made you react like that, and eventually apologize to make sure that he never does it again. But if your accusations came out to be meaningless and it was you being obsessive, he'd probably end the whole relationship. Straight up.

It doesn't feel like a possession/possessive kink would be a thing in the bedroom, either. Not denying nor thinking too much on a dom/sub type of dynamic at all, I just think that remarkings like 'I'm yours/you're mine' type of thing wouldn't be his cup of tea.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

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band--psycho · 2 years

Text

Klaus Mikaelson x Reader-Punishments

I'm sorry this has taken so long Anon; I'm also sorry because this is a lot longer than I had originally planned it to be!

I hope you all enjoy this! 💛

Warnings: Overprotective Klaus, alcohol, spankings, smut, sir kink, (18+)

To say Kluas was pissed was understatement; not pissed as in drunk, like his wife, Y/n was. But pissed as in he wanted to throw her over his knee and spank her arse so it hurt when she would sit down.

But he couldn’t do that; not right now anyway.

She was drunk. And as much as he was furious with her, right now, he had to take care of her.

“I don’t understand why I couldn’t stay at the party,” she slurred as she stumbled into the Mikaelson family home.

Klaus took a deep breath, in an attempt to calm himself down.

“Because I specifically told you not to go,” Klaus attempted to say calmly, but there was an evident rage burning in his eyes.

He’d made it abundantly clear to Y/n that she was to stay at home for the next few days; while he sorted out some unsavory business with some even more unsavory people. He was just trying to keep her safe; that was all.

He’d warned her of the danger that they were facing; she knew how risky it was to leave the house, especially to go to a party, without anyone with her.

And yet she did it anyway.

Every time he told her not to do something, she did it anyway, despite his warnings. Especially lately.

He didn’t want to have to compel her to follow his instructions; she was his girlfriend and he loved her, but if she didn’t start listening to his warnings he knew he might have to. She’d hate him for it; but he’d rather have her alive and hating him than for her to be dead.

“But I was having fun,” she whined, walking over to him and poking his forehead, “do you remember what that is,”

In honesty; no. He didn’t really remember the last time he had fun, unless it was with Y/n; it was quite difficult to have fun when he was always having to look over his shoulder in case one of his many enemies finally decided they wanted to try and hurt him. But Y/n; she reminded him what it felt like to be human; she changed something in his heart, for the better.

Normally, he would’ve laughed at her drunken antics; but tonight, it just made him even more furious. How could she not see how dangerous she was being.

“I told you to stay here,” He seethed, moving away from her touch.

“And I told you that I am not a prisoner here! If I want to go out and have fun at a party I will!” Y/n snapped back; rage boiling in her blood. She was equally as angry as he was. She turned on the heel of her shoe, slightly too fast, that had it not been for Klaus’ quick speed, she’d have been on the floor.

“I don’t need your help,” Y/n mumbled, trying to push him away; but Klaus didn’t let her go. He had visions of her attempting to walk up the stairs, tripping, and hurting herself; so he simply shook his head and took her to their bedroom, despite her protests.

“Why is it so hard for you to just listen to me?” Klaus asked after a very long silence had befallen the room.

“Why is it so hard for you to just let me live my life?” Y/n countered back; kicking her shoes with frustration.

“If I continued to let you live your life so carelessly, you’d probably be dead,” the words came out harsher than he had intended, which only added to Y/n's anger.

“And who’s fault is that?” she pointed out, venom lacing her voice as she turned around to face Klaus, “It’s because of you I have a target on my back,”

Klaus took a deep breath, trying not to show how much Y/ns words had hurt him. But she was right…it was his fault.

Realisation dawned on Y/n; noticing the pain that flashed in Klaus’ eyes.

“Klaus-” she began; but she didn’t have time to finish, before Klaus got up and left the room.

He didn’t want to go to bed mad, but he also knew that he wasn’t going to be able to have a proper conversation without both of their anger increasing. He needed space; and he was sure she did too.

They’d talk in the morning.

~~~~~~

Klaus didn’t sleep much that night; Y/ns words spinning around in his head.

She was drunk and angry; but it didn’t mean her words hurt any less.

As soon as it hit a reasonable hour he decided to head to the room Y/n was in; hoping that they could talk about what happened.

“Y/n?” Klaus asked, gently knocking on the door to their bedroom.

No answer.

Another sigh left his lips; he didn’t mean to get so angry last night; right now all he wanted to do was snuggle up in bed with her like he normally did each morning.

He opened the door quietly, making sure that he didn't disturb her if she was still sleeping. But when he looked at the bed; she wasn’t there.

Worry washed over him as he rushed around town, trying to find her…but when he did find her, it wasn’t relief that replaced his worry, it was anger.

Once again; she hadn’t listened to him. She purposely disobeyed him. He let her off last night because she was drunk but now, here she was, outside a coffee shop without a care in the world.

Now she was going to get the punishment he should’ve given to her last night.

“Klaus-” Y/n yellped as he grabbed her waist and sped back to the house.

“Klaus,” Y/n began, once the slight dizziness wore off.

“I told you to stay in the house,” Klaus said in a low voice as he looked at Y/n.

“I’m sorry,” she apologised; but Klaus just shook his head, an unhumorous laugh leaving his lips, as he sat down on the couch.

“Do you really think an apology is gonna get you out of this, love?”

It was a rhetorical question and she knew it; but it didn’t stop her from opening and closing her mouth trying to fathom out what else to say to him. Much to Klaus' entertainment.

“About last night-”

“Stop talking,” Klaus snarled; a slightly menacing smirk tugging at his lips, “Just get over here and bend that pretty arse over my knee.”

Y/n took a sharp intake of breath as she made her way over towards Klaus; bending herself over his knee just as he had instructed.

“So now you choose to listen to me,” he snarked, running his hand along Y/n's lower back, before yanking her jeans and panties down, exposing her gorgeous round arse.

“Tell me love, how many times do you think you’ve disobeyed me these last few days?” he asked,his fingers delicately danced over the cheek of her butt.

Y/n didn’t know.

That was the truth.

But she knew it was a lot.

“I don’t know,” Y/n whispered; anticipation flooding her core as she felt Klaus hand squeeze her cheek.

“Eight times,” he muttered, “Eight times you’ve decided to ignore what I’ve said, meaning I’m gonna spank you eight times.”

She didn’t need to look at him to see the smirk on his face or the devilish glint in his eyes.

“And you, love, you are gonna count every single one of them and if you stop, or say the wrong number, I’ll start all over again.”

Y/n simply nodded at his words, preparing herself for the pain and pleasure she was just about to feel, but that wasn’t enough for Klaus.

“Do you understand?” he questioned, letting his fingers slip down to her damp pussy.

“Yes,” Y/n gasped as he slipped a finger inside of her.

But her answer still did not satisfy Klaus.

“I said, do you understand?” he repeated, slowly thrusting his finger in and out of her.

“Yes sir,” Y/n all but moaned out; writhing in the pleasure he was giving her. And that’s when Klaus stopped; withdrawing his hand from her soaking pussy and back to her butt.

Spank.

“One,” Y/n breathed; the sudden small jolt of pain only adding to her arousal.

Spank

“Two,” this spank was definitely harder than the first; she knew that if he continued spanking her like this, she wasn’t going to be able to sit down properly for at least a few days.

Spank

“Thr-three,” she stuttered out, they weren't even halfway and she could already feel her brain getting lost in haze of pleasure.

It was just counting to eight; that was all, Y/n reminded herself as another spank came.

“Four,”

Klaus obviously noticed Y/n's growing arousal; as a desperate moan slipped past her lips.

“Little bit needy love,” he asked, slipping his finger back down to her pussy; toying with it; slowly driving Y/n insane. She was desperate for him. All she wanted was him to give her the release she so desperately craved, but she knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.

Though she’d gotten so lost in her own pleasure, she’d forgotten how many spanks she’d received.

Spank

Y/n hesitated for a second; trying to remember the number she was on; “four,” she mumbled out; only to hear a small chuckle from Klaus.

“Wrong answer, love,” he cooed in her ear, rubbing her cheek softly.

It took Y/n a further half an hour to count the eight spanks. She’d forgotten what number she was on multiple times so she knew she’d been spanked way over eight times. But she didn't care. The stinging only added to her pleasure.

“Fuck,” was all she could say as Klaus lifted her onto the couch.

“Still so desperate for me, love,” he teased, running his hand up and down the inside of her thigh.

“Please,” she begged, looking at him with pleading eyes.

“On one condition,” he began, edging closer to her; his hand slowly moving to where she craved him most, “you start listening to me like a good girl,”

“I will, Sir, I will” Y/n whispered the desperation clear in her voice as his hand applied pressure to her clit once again.

“What will you do?” he asked, wanting her to repeat the words he’d just spoken.

“I’ll start listening to you, I promise,” she moaned.

A triumphant smile spread across Klaus’ face as he began to give Y/n what she really wanted.

~~~~~

“How you feeling, love?” Klaus cooed, placing Y/n in the bath he’d run for her.

“Sore but amazing,” she answered with a smile on her face; remembering the euphoric pleasure Klaus had given her.

He smiled sweetly, kissing the top of her head.

The two of them spent a short whie in a comfortable silence; Klaus just leaned against the side of the bathtub,looking at Y/n.

“I’m sorry for what I said,” she said, breaking the silence, the smile that was once on her face, faltering, “I know you’re only doing what you are to keep me safe.”

“You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, love,” he began, his fingers lightly stroking her arm, “I am the reason you can’t live your life like a normal person…I just..I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”

Y/n could see the vulnerability in his eyes; it wasn’t often she saw him look like this; and it made her heart ache.

She knew he was right; over the years Klaus had made a lot of enemies…and there was definitely a list of people who would want to hurt him…and would use her to do so.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated as Klaus lifted his hand to her face, his thumb rubbing small circles onto her cheek.

“Me too, love,” he whispered, kissing her lips softly, “perhaps we can come to some sort of compromise that makes both of us happy.”

Y/n nodded; leaning into his touch.

Y/n was dating an Original Vampire; she knew her life was never going to be normal. But giving up a normal life was worth it; because she was completely in love with Klaus Mikaelson, that’s why she married him.

Although; the thought of disobeying him again did cross her mind, purely because of how fun the punishment for it was.

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thefiery-phoenix · 1 month

Text

PLATONIC YANDERE WEASLEY FAMILY HEADCANONS

They're very protective of each other, that's for sure. Molly might be the first one to meet you, or the Weasley children at Hogwarts. Heck, you might not even be related to the Weasleys and they'll still think of you as one of their own when they see the chance to make you theirs for good, you're just too naive and innocent for this world. And no doubt Harry and Hermione would play roles in helping them with their obsession with you as well since they are yanderes for you after all

Arthur would LOVE to talk to you about your knowledge of Muggles if you know about them that is. But don't worry, there are still plenty of other things he'd LOVE to talk to you about. It's actually kind of nice and adorable seeing him get so excited whenever you bring up the topic of Muggles, the way his eyes shine and light up with excitement like as if he's some sort of kid in a toy shop. But Molly has to be there to rein him in in case he makes you feel too overwhelmed with his questions. Arthur doesn't care if you're pure blood, related to them or not, half blood, muggle or heck even if your dad is Voldy himself. Unless of course, you're good. He'll still look after you like his own and care for you, and of course, keep you far far away from the prying eyes of the evil Malfoys and dangerous things like Death Eaters and concerning yourself with the activities of the Dark Lord

Bill is the chill and easy going brother who'll understand how you're feeling since he's a pro at it and he's also the oldest Weasley, he's the brother to 6 siblings of his. He's a good listener and always has good advice for you whenever you need to ask him about something and he'll also love it if you talk to him about his work and stuff. And he'll also tell Fred and George to lay back off a bit if their pranks become too much to which they'll apologize instantly. They would never think of hurting you, not even in their worst nightmares. And if you were brought into their family by force, he'll know how you're feeling and he'll make sure to always be there for you no matter what. Oh, and no dating, NONE of the Weasleys would ever allow you to date someone at all. Nope, you're their precious little baby and they don't want some riff raff tainting your innocence

Molly is a really coddling and protective yandere for you. She'll always make you nice hot lunches and meals when you need them, she'll always give you the comfort and love you need from a mother and of course, she'll get jealous when you talk about your past family. You just can't seem to hate her no matter what since she's being so nice to you, hating her would literally be a crime. She looks after you so well and that's actually part of a plan she has in mind. Oh, yeah, she's crafty too. She wants to win over your love and affection by doing these sweet things and all that, but she does truly genuinely care for you. And if you ever mention the name of someone you like, I seriously pray for that poor schmuck, be it boy or girl since I believe in gender equality lol

Charlie loves you as well and he's the adorable nerd, who'll like talking to you about dragons and stuff. Like Bill he's also laid back and easy going, and trying to make you feel more comfortable with the family. He'll tell you funny stories from his time in Romania, some of the hilarious things his brothers and sisters have done, their embarrassing stories and stuff that'll be sure to have a smile on your face. He would literally cry if you wanted to enter his field, he'd be so freaking happy and pleased, no doubt he'd actually say "IN YOUR FACE!" to the rest lol

Percy Weasley is the uptight stick in the mud, the spoilsport and sometimes the killjoy but he truly does want what's best for you despite him being arrogant and pompous. He tries to be a good example for people and his family but it's frustrating when no one follows him or even strives to be like him. He'll try to get you under his wing before the twins try corrupting you. He'll help you with your homework, ask you how your day is going and if anyone's bothering you, he'll teach them a lesson. He knows he isn't supposed to use his status as Headboy for personal reasons but he won't tolerate it if someone decided to make his sibling feel bad about something. And if you guys are at Hogwarts, he'll make his duty to check in on you every single freaking day and act like some sort of pompous watchdog for you

The fun loving Weasley twins, who love pranking you and the others, but will never go too far with their pranks for you since they would never want to see you cry. They're the best to come to when you're having a bad day or when you feel like crying. In which case they'll cheer you up by some of their pranks and make you laugh since they can't stand to see you cry and be sad. And as for the person whoever made the mistake of making you sad... they'll be on the wrong end of their pranks and NO ONE, I repeat NO ONE wants to be on the wrong end of their pranks, trust me on this. And they'll even take your opinion for their products at their joke shop Weasley's Wizard's Wheezes, and go as far as naming something after you and giving you some of their stuff for free, low prices or discounts ESPECIALLY for you. Lol, they'd just rub it in Ron's face and he'd so freaking jealous

Ron would be the really overprotective type for you. Normally the Weasleys are just over protective of you but he's INSANELY over protective. And it's mentioned in canon too that he's really protective over Ginny when she starts dating Terry Boot, Dean and Harry. And if you think he's bad there, he's WAY worse when you're concerned since the way he sees it is NO ONE is worthy of being your s/o, you're the baby of the family and he will NOT allow someone to ruin you. He'll love to talk about Quidditch with you and maybe even show off some of his flying skills to you, to impress you. And he will not think twice to defend you if some prat like Malfoy decides to be a prick to you, and what'll make his blood boil even more is if Malfoy decides to take an interest in you. In which case the entire Gryffindor house would have to get involved in trying to hold him, the Weasley twins and Percy from literally punching the hell out of him. And of course, with the help of his trust y friends Harry and Hermione they follow you with the Marauder's map and keep tabs on what you're doing just for your safety of course

And last but not the least, Ginny, the youngest of the family but knows how to get something when she wants it. And that includes your attention. She's kinda crafty and demands for your attention regularly. And she will snatch you up like some feather if you're spending time with someone else, except for Molly of course. NO ONE has the guts to dare to go against Molly lol. And of course, she'll introduce you to Luna and even Luna would turn out to be very protective over you. For someone who looks so innocent and calm like her, she does know how to get rid of people who bother you and make you sad. There's always someone watching you no matter what, be it a Weasley, a Granger, a Potter, or a Lovegood... they're all there for you and they're at the back of you, scaring people off who they don't like seeing close to you since all they want is the best for you, that's all. They might not have much, but they have family and it's home...

#platonic yandere weasley family #platonic yandere weasley family x reader #platonic yandere weasley family scenarios #platonic yandere weasley family headcanons #platonic yandere weasley family imagines #platonic yandere weasley family oneshots #platonic yandere molly weasley #yandere arthur weasley x reader #yandere percy weasley x reader #yandere weasley twins x reader #yandere ron weasley x reader #yandere ginny #yandere harry potter scenarios #yandere harry potter #dark harry potter characters x reader #dark harry potter characters #yandere harry potter imagines #yandere harry potter characters #yandere harry potter x reader

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lemotmo · 15 days

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Queer-coded Eddie Diaz theory

Okay, walk with me here. I have this theory.

I’ve been thinking about what Lou said in his interview. He said that the Tommy storyline was initially meant for Eddie. (Which still sets me reeling whenever I think about it.) But they changed their mind because something fell through and they decided to give the storyline to Buck. Which I’m happy about to be honest. Eddie is a whole different case of ‘being in the closet’. That man will need a lot more time to come to terms with his sexuality than Buck.

But, let’s imagine they would have stuck with the Eddie/Tommy storyline:

Obviously Marisol would have quietly disappeared in between seasons and Eddie would have been single again.

They hired Lou, a big bulky white man, to play his love interest. I know that we often say that Eddie is the Latin Lou, but he could also be a slightly bigger Buck (if you squint).

They would have bonded over the many shared interests and their army past. From there on their romance would have started and bloomed.

Buck would have probably still been with Nathalia or perhaps he would have also been single. Not sure about that. It would have depended on the actress being available or not.

In his interview, Tim Minear has stated that Buck has always been queer-coded, from season 1 on.

So, if we follow that line of thinking, wouldn’t Eddie have been queer-coded as well? Because, after all, he would have been the one in a romantic relationship with Tommy.

And then what? Would Buck have found his inner bisexual by being jealous of Eddie and Tommy? Like something we saw play out in 7x04. Everyone would assume, in the beginning, that Buck was just jealous of having to share Eddie’s attention with Tommy. But then, after a few episodes, it would have been revealed that he was actually in love with Eddie? Because, remember, according to Tim Minear, Buck has always been queer-coded. So it would only be logical to continue the storyline like that. Especially because everyone seems to lean into it this season. Oliver, Ryan, Tim and even Lou have been talking about Buddie.

Then what? Would Eddie have found out about Buck? Would he have realised that he loved Buck back, breaking up with Tommy, only to be with Buck? Or would Tommy have set him free from the relationship?

See the logic here? If Buck has always been queer-coded, why did they plan to have Eddie come out? It doesn’t make any sense, UNLESS Eddie has always been queer-coded as well (whether gay, demisexual or something else).

Now, if we go back to the current story that is playing out on our screens right now. If we take the above Eddie/Tommy scenario and change it to Buck/Tommy, then it would only be logical for the second character that has also been queer-coded since season 2 (Eddie) to end up with the other queer-coded character, now established bisexual (Buck).

Whichever way you look at it, all roads eventually lead to Buddie.

Mind you, this is only my train of thought and my opinion. Also no hate on Tommy or Buck/Tommy. This is just something that has been slow cooking in my brain ever since those articles from Tim and Lou came out. Couple that with Ryan’s interview, where he clearly states that Eddie has lived a very different life from Buck. He talks about how Eddie always looks for a mom-figure for Christopher in a relationship, and that he has always lived a ‘straight’- laced life. But that he is slowly discovering parts about himself he didn’t know were there in the first place. And now with the whole ‘catholic guilt’ storyline suddenly popping up out of nowhere, it just would make so much sense for Eddie to be some flavour of queer.

It would set up such an interesting storyline for his character as well. He would potentially struggle with his feelings, a lot more than Buck ever did. He might even have problems with accepting that side of himself. But ultimately it would all come down to Buck and his feelings for him. And Eddie has always been brave, so he would eventually own up to it and tell Buck.

All of this makes so much sense to me and I can't shake it.

Tell me, am I losing my mind here? Has 911 and Buddie finally broken me beyond repair? Have I boarded the train to delulu-land? Talk to me.

#buddie #911 spoilers #eddie diaz #evan buckley #tommy kinard #buddie meta #911 abc #tim minear #ryan guzman #oliver stark #lou ferrigno jr

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theanimeoftheblackbunnymask · 2 years

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Yandere Port Mafia Osamu Dazai Alphabet

Author's Note: I decided since I'm writing for BSD I'll do a yandere alphabet for all the characters I'm writing for. Feel free to send request in like one shots and stuff, but please check in my Masterlist what BSD characters I write for. Even if I haven't done an Alphabet for them yet I'll still do your request once it's done or until I can't wait any longer. In Dazai's case I'm doing him in his time in the Port Mafia and then him at ADA.

Warnings: Violence, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse Implies, Rape Implied, Emotional Abuse, Manipulation, Murder Mentioned, Torture, Being Stabbed, Possessiveness, Suicide Mentioned, Clinginess, Lonliness, Sadism, Dehumanization, Kidnapping, Branding, and Just Pure Roxicity.

Links: {Masterlist} {Alphabet Used}

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

We all know Dazai. I can see him being as clingy as ever even while he was still in the Port Mafia.

I can see his reasons on being so affectionate is him being lonely and losing you, and his possessive nature.

He loves to have you sit on his lap while he gives his subordinates orders. And he'll also sit on you lap and not let you go, if you try he'll whine your name and make you feel bad.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

PM! Dazai most likely got carried away when it came to killing people. Remember that gun scene when he first met Chuuya, yeah.

I can see him doing the same thing to people who try to take you away from him or people for even talk to you. Everyone in the PM knows not to mess with you unless they want to face Dazai's wrath.

I don't know why but PM! Dazai would probably take a photo of his killings and show them to you, escpicially if it was a family member or a friend of yours. One of things he loves most about you is your tears and terrified expression.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

He'd tease you about easy it was. How weak you were compared to him.

He'll try to make you comfortable and he'd want all you attention. He's like a puppy.

He'll never let you be alone in the first stage of your abduction. If you try he'll pin you against the wall and whisper in your ear why you hated him so much, when he knows exactly why.

Your anger, your fear and your despair all put a smile on his face. What can he say? He's a sadist after all.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

There's a lot of things he'll do against your will. PM Dazai is a lot more heartless, forceful and cold compared to ADA Dazai.

He'll chose what clothes you wear, he'll force to sleep in the same bed as him and if you really were misbehaving he'll have you execute a traitor.

He'll have you kill people and he'll just stand there with a blank face. When you finally snap and have a break down he'll be there hugging you, saying that you belonged to him. You are his dog and you obeyed him, which made you a good girl/boy. He'll reward you with various things because there are times where you tears don't make him happy, sometimes they make him upset, and he hates it.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Dazai is rarely vulnerable with anybody. He won't ever show his heart or true intentions to you. But he won't say it, but you're is only weakness. Yes he may hurt you but if anyone dared to touch you they'll suffer and slow and painful death. Those deaths are ones he'll never show you, because you may figure out you're his weakness.

If you actually wanted him to be vulnerable to you you'll have to be completely in love with him, probably just as obsessed with him as he is with you.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He likes feisty, strong and independent darlings. He doesn't want a weak darling, someone who can't even defend themselves. Or a submissive darling who does what he wants without a fight. He'll see you as boring and will probably fall out of love with you and have you killed.

When you punched him in the face he was a little caught off guard. When he felt blood come from his nose he'd smile and call you a bad girl/boy.

He'll pin you down and the more you fight him the more he realizes how much he truly loves you. And boy will he have fun with you.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Watching you try to escape makes him laugh. You really think you'll escape the Port Mafia, and more importantly him? The moments you open the door he'll be standing there and a grin on his face. He put a gun to your head and tell you to turn around and go to your room.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

There's a lot of things that Dazai has done to you that can go in this one, but the by far worse one of when you made him genuinely mad.

It was probably a very stressful day and Dazai just wanted your affection and attention. But when he saw you laughing and talking to Chuuya he felt rage fill up inside him. But it was fine. He wouldn't let his other dog ruin his day. Dazai would grab your shoulder and tell Chuuya to go be useful for once in his life. They'd argue for a bit before Dazai drags you away.

But the moment you got to his room you were distant, and you looked disgusted.

"What's the matter, Belladonna?"

"Don't call me that."

Dazai would sigh before sitting in front of you. He asked you what made you so upset and you just snapped.

"I fucking hate you. I mean it this time. You murdered your own subordinates just because they looked at me. What the fuck is wrong with you?! You don't love me. You're just obsessed with the fact of having me. You treat me as your fucking dog! And... I'm sick of it. You've hurt me so many times... I can't even leave... After everything you've done, everything you made me do... You deserve to have that emptiness in your heart and be lonely until you fucking die a slow and painful death. I won't be your savior..."

You stood up and kicked Dazai aside. He sat the there quietly, not even moving as he looked at the ground. When you tried to open the door it was locked, from the outside. You heard Dazai's chuckle, before it turned into insane manic laughter. Dazai stood up and walked towards you, taking out his gun as you backed up.

"Savior... When did I ever say you were my savior?" Dazai asked, putting the gun your head and held his hand around your throat.

You stared at him with rage. All fear you had towards Dazai was gone, the only thing you felt was rage.

"You're what dog is to it's master. A dear comfort. And just like a dog, I can put down..."

Dazai stopped, before pulling out his knife and stabbing it into your stomach. Right before you can scream in agony he covered your mouth and looked you in the eye with his dead eyes and his emotionless smile.

"Just like that..."

Dazai would let you go as you fell to the floor. Tears rolling down your face as Dazai stared at you. He threw his gun into the closet and kneeling down so the two of you were at eye level.

"You're not gonna die... But,"

He pulled the knife out, you screamed pain as he smirked. He grabbed your wrist and pulled them above your hand, before he stabbed the knife into your hands in order to keep them in place.

"You're gonna learn your place.."

Your screams of agony and pleasure echoed through the halls of the Port Mafia that night.

The next day though, he felt so much guilt when he woke up and remembered what he had done. He would never, ever forgive himself.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He barely sees a future for himself. Maybe the two of you doing a double suicide together. Or maybe even him running the Port Mafia with you by his side. He'll see where the two of you will end up.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Dazai claims he'll never get jealous by some dog or a Port Mafia member, but he's lying.

He gets jealous extremely easily. If you really want to calm him down kiss him and hug him, telling him to calm down and that no one will take you away.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

It depends on his mood and your behavior.

If you're well behaved he'll be spoiling you by buying you all kinds of things. He'll blow his entire paycheck on you just to see you smile. He'll be very affectionate and tease you and act so childish. It would be like a normal relationship if he didn't do all those awful things to you.

If you're misbehaving though, he'll isolate you from everyone. You'll be chained to his bed and all you could do is stare at the ceiling or sleep.

He would definitely brand you, so expect a lot of hickeys and cuts during this time.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He'll go about it the same why he does with everyone else. He'll call you a beauty, flirt with you, ask you out on dates. He won't even act or show any yandere tendencies until you move in with him and start dating.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Yes. It's canon Dazai is kinda two faced, he puts on a mask pretty much. Dazai isn't just a monster under that mask, he's too complex to just be simplified as just a monster.

In front of people he'll still be possessive but only to the point of it looking like he's just worried about you.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Port Mafia Dazai is much more willing to hurt you than ADA Dazai.

It really depends on his mood and what you did. Hell, you could've done nothing wrong and he'll make up some bullshit just to punish you.

If you tried to escape he'll torture you before leaving you there in isolation for a week.

If you talked to someone else when he wasn't around that he didn't trust or like (Chuuya), he'll fuck you the entire night just to claim you. When they see your bruises and bite marks and hickeys they'll know your his.

If you insulted him he'd slap you across the face and tell you to watch your mouth if you didn't want him to stitch it closed. It's an empty threat, he wants to hear your voice and your screams some more.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

The more you misbehave the more rights you'll lose. You better pick this up quickly because even is you behave, the chances of you getting them back are extremely low.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Dazai is pretty patient, even if he may come off as a brat. But his patience won't last forever. PM Dazai is less patient than ADA Dazai and sooner or later he won't wait for his darling to love him back. Even though it'll hurt him dearly knowing his Darling doesn't love him, but at least they're with him, right?

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

If you die his entire world will fall apart. Why did he have to lose one of the few things that made him happy. He'll become a lot more cold an sadistic. He'd visit your grave often, even after he left th PM.

If you successfully escaped he'd be extremely impressed. It won't be hard for him to find you. When he does he'll tell you how impressed he was, but that it was time to come home.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Dazai isn't delusional. Yes he may seem like it but he isn't. He knows exactly what he's doing is wrong, but he doesn't care. There are times though when he feels guilty. When you're quiet and not fighting him. Letting him do what he wants to you makes him feel awful.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Most likely the lonely and emptiness he feels. He wants a reason to live, something that'll make his life a little bit better, a little bit brighter.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Your screaming and crying can either make Dazai extremely happy since he's a sadist, or extremely upset because it reminds him of how much he's really hurting you.

Dazai craves your love and affection, when you try and isolate yourself from him he's already tackling you and holding you close to while hides in your shirt.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

His intelligence, his skill, his strategies, his sadism. All those hit different.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

There's nothing you can exploit about him without him knowing, so give up.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Yes, but sometimes he'll regret it and try to earn your forgiveness.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He'll worship the ground hou walk on. He'll do almost anything to gain your love!

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

He'll wait until he knows the time is just right, and that's when he'll strike.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

It's very likely, and the guilt he'll feel is impossible to put into words. He'll do anything to fix you, and I mean anything.

#dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai x reader #bungo stray dogs x you #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #bsd x y/n #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #yandere bsd #port mafia dazai #yandere dazai #dazai osamu #osamu dazai x reader #osamu dazai x you #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x you

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rowanwithaz · 8 months

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Out of no nowhere.

(Or literally written out before double digit chapters)

but we know antis are Illiterate.

Ah,yes,Shiggy accusing Deku of loving his "present" which that said present is Bakugo. Telling Bakugo he was Deku's most special person,brings up the fact that Deku was HELLA pissed off when he hurt Bakugo,and not to mention,this man is doing this because of how strongly Deku's reactions are.(And him putting extra emphasis on, "love" will not go unnoticed.)

Monoma ALSO using Bakugo as a way to rile Deku up. (And it works better than he had anticipated.)

Dude called Deku out on claiming Bakugo as his own,and Deku doesn't even fucking deny it. He actually buckles down. So,obviously we have things dating back too season three of the anime about how Deku cares very deeply about Bakugo. (We weren't even in the Double Digits when Hori was spelling it out) and I've seen people say, "This is coming out of nowhere." Honey, we got proof from chapter 81 that Deku responds like this to Bakugo being hurt. Which I've talked about this before in more detail.

But then people accuse him of queer baiting. (Like you actually fucking care about a very common issue for LGBTQ+ representation) and comparing him to Disney's milking of half assed gay characters who barley have any meaningful moments so they can cut it out in other countries. And,last time I checked,GreeNade has TOO MANY meaningful moments,I honestly couldn't count them on two hands.

Here in,y'know,reality,Horikoshi,is just explicitly saying what has been shown a million times,because people like YOU don't get it. And when you realize there isn't any way to use the, "It's shonen," or, " brotherly love" excuse,you start using toxic queer stereotypes. That all queer people sexualize everything,even death.

you fall back to, "They're just minors." Because if you're gay you're obviously only sexual and kinky. But, will openly talk about Deku "Knocking up Ochaco," like that ISN'T sexualizing minors,but two boys being in love is like fifty shades of grey?

Also find shit like this funny,because they are openly admitting to seeing the romantic potential. Like this gem.

why would these photos trigger such a reaction unless, y'know,you're scared that these two might actually be gay and you hate being reminded of that fact? And if that's truly the case,you need to drop the manga,because from the way it's been going...your worst fears are about to become cannon.

Also,if wanna know where You can see some of the toxic hate GreeNade shippers get to spread awareness,you can check that out here,(or just go to a random bkdk\dkbk post and see the comments ,there's a ninety percent chance you'll see toxic antis)that's where I've found a lot of the hate for them that no one else in the fandom wants anyone to know about.

#bkdk #dkbk #mha #bnha #dekucchan #bakudeku #katsudeku #greenade #dekubaku #Bkdk/dkbk antis being stupid

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messrmoonyy · 25 days

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- you sunshine, you temptress

Tess Servopoulos x Female reader

Request- already in like Jackson, and so Ellie and Joel live together but Tess doesn’t. They’re new in town so they’re still not used to the whole nice civilized thing, but the reader is her nice neighbor who wears her down. She plants stuff and even like cooks for tess. But she’s not a wimp either, very skilled with guns and stuff. Just a fic where they meet and like reader takes care of Tess. Smut too if you want

A/N- I took this request and ran with it. It took me a long ass time I apologise but I do really like how this turned out. It became far more angsty than I’m sure you wanted it to be but. Here we are. I wanted to explore an idea that Tess didn’t like Jackson and took time to adjust, didn’t really like reader as well. Tess leaning to adjust and love and be loved. Also in transferring this over none of my italics saved and I could’nt be fucked to go back through this again and add them back lmao

Warnings- 18+ | tess is quite low for the majority of this, canon compliant discussions of death and violence, vague/ implied smut (wc- 13.2k )

Tess masterlist | AO3 - Tess requests are open but not currently top priority

SPRING

Tess didn’t like Jackson. Not at first. The drastic change from Boston to the nomadic lifestyle she had been living with Ellie and Joel as they crossed the country had been difficult enough. But to then transfer to something so wildly different from both of those things? Yeah. It took some getting used to.

She didn’t quite know what she had been expecting really. Maybe something like Boston but without the soldiers. Small pockets of people doing their own things to get by, together for safety but nothing much else. Not the working, thriving town she had walked into. Not the cleanliness, the stores, the diner, the hot water- that apparently was only a little temperamental in the colder months compared to year round like Boston- and clean clothes. Jobs. Families. Farming. She felt like she was in an alternate dimension.

She didn’t like the way everyone was so… cheerful. Which was a weird thing to say, but it was true. Because it threw her off.

She had developed her own bubble of happiness with Joel and Ellie over the months. They laughed together at Ellie’s shitty jokes, shared in her joy when she found a can of ravioli she liked. But would be stoney faced in an instant to protect each other. Joel and Ellie she loved like family, they were her family. She was used to warm smiles from them, a desire to be near her and talk to her. She wasn’t used to it from others.

Other people were scared of her. They moved out of her way and they did as she asked. They kept their heads down in case they upset her and they didn’t cross her path. But not in Jackson. No.

They smiled at her in the street, asked her how she was, said good morning.

And it spooked her. She didn’t like it. And she hated that she didn’t. That she had become so hardened that genuine kindness scared her. Because no one was kind anymore. No one showed care unless they wanted something else in return.

So she didn’t know how to take it. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the new found trust people had in her, their ease at having her around. To her surprise Joel didn’t seem to be struggling as much. He had Tommy back after all and that seemed to be easing his discomfort. Ellie was fitting in… kinda. Her colourful vocabulary and brashness had put some of the kids off at first. But they seemed to be warming to her now.

So it was just her. Trapped in some odd isolated headspace where she didn’t quite know what to do. She didn’t mention it to Joel, didn’t want to interfere with him and Tommy as they rebuilt their relationship again. Maria had tried to pull Tess into things more, and Tess liked her. Maria didn’t take shit, she had power and was in charge. People respected her. And she didn’t let Tess mope around for too long either.

But even Maria couldn’t quite pull her out of that disconnected state completely.

Part of her felt she was being ungrateful. She was alive and as safe as anyone could possibly hope to be in the current climate. Joel was alive. Ellie was alive. She was alive. But there was just… something.

Maybe a sick part of her missed it. Missed Boston. But then again maybe it wasn’t so sick. She hadn’t liked Boston really. But spending so long in one place would always make it hard to leave behind. Even the things she had so often complained about. She found she couldn’t even sleep on her new bed, Jackson having been looked after for so long that the mattress was actually still soft. She was too used to the lumpy one in the zone, and sleeping on the ground for months.

She’d been sleeping on the couch since she’d arrived. If she even managed to sleep at all, unable to fall asleep on the soft sheets and bed.

She missed her power too. Got tetchy when she thought about who was running operations back in the zone now. Who was living in her and Joel’s apartment, had they found their stash? Who was selling her shit and walking around like she had? She had to remind herself she shouldn’t care. That wasn’t her life anymore. It never would be again. Boston was a distant memory she needed to put to rest.

But it was difficult.

The new house felt too big. The town too clean. The people too nice. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do with herself. She mildly regretted living separately from Joel. Just out of… familiarity. She wasn’t used to such an open space to herself. Even before the outbreak the house she had shared with her husband and son hadn’t been so big. And she had had two other bodies to fill the space.

In Boston that tiny apartment she had had Joel to fill the gaps.

But she knew she couldn’t impose on him any longer. Joel was handsome and mellowing. He would no doubt find someone in town… and she couldn’t be the one to stand in the way of that. Especially seeing as she herself had no desire to go there. Their relationship had always been purely platonic and she had no intention of changing that.

So when Maria had asked, she had taken her own place. Ellie had taken the garage. They all had their own space. But those two seemed far better at living in it than she was.

It had taken that stark shift though for her to realise that maybe she simply wasn’t made for being alone. She had met her husband in college. They had moved in together immediately after, and had their son young. Then she’d fallen into the group heading for Boston, met Joel… she’d never really been alone.

Though she also wasn’t particularly doing anything to change that either. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. Back in Boston she’d get lonely from time to time, would go out and pick someone up with ease. Now? She didn’t know where that confidence had gone.

She felt people looking at her when she ventured out. She knew she wasn’t exactly unattractive, she knew people liked to look. But she had no desire to pursue. She didn’t even entertain them for a second. And they all grew bored of trying and moved on.

Everyone was friendly enough, but some kept their distance when they realised she wasn’t the… happiest of people. But one person didn’t let the permanent frown glued to Tess’ face deter them.

You.

You lived across the street from her, would wave hello every morning when Tess ventured out to find out what tasks Maria had to keep her busy for the day. You’d smile. You’d say hello. You even left her things on the porch.

And you liked flowers.

She gathered that pretty quickly. The window boxes were full, potted bushes and blooms littered your porch and edge of the dirt path street. It made her own place look incredibly dull. But maybe that was fitting.

She’d never been one for flowers. So expensive for them to just sit and wilt away in a vase, to be left with nothing but some crisped petals and dead stems within a week. So amongst the sandwiches and pies left at her door, the odd flowering embellishments she knew came from you.

A lot of people in town left stuff for her and Joel, to welcome them. To give them things they needed. She didn’t like accepting any of it. She didn’t like the feeling of… owing people. Feeling like they would have a hold over her, that they had given her a new jacket so now she owed them something. That you had left her a pie so now you were owed something too.

So she left the majority of it exactly where it was placed on the porch, Maria being the one to bring them inside for her.

“ You are gonna attract every damn animal in town if you keep leaving this stuff on your porch Tess “ Maria used as a greeting when Tess opened the door one morning, seeing the woman standing there with what seemed to be a loaf in her hands “ and wasting food? Really? Especially this? Now this looks delicious. Still warm too “ Tess scoffed but before she could speak she heard your voice.

“ Good morning Maria! Good morning Tess! “ she looked over Maria’s shoulder to see you jogging down your porch steps and waving, thankfully turning to walk into town rather than try and start a conversation

“ morning hun “ Maria responded with a smile, glancing over to Tess when she ignored you as she always did.

“ what? “ Maria sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose in the way she so often did when she was at her wits end. Usually with Ellie and Joel’s bickering.

“ I’ve told you a million times. We all get along here. It’s a small town Tess, you can’t have grudges. Or.. at least public ones. I have a few secret ones myself “ Tess sighed and stepped back to let Maria inside, who only sighed too when she eyed the blanket on the couch “ you’re still sleeping on the couch? “

Tess brushed her off and grabbed her boots from by the door, sitting down to pull them on. She could already sense another of Maria’s lectures brewing, and the headache pulsing behind her temples made her hope she’d hold off on it.

“ I just fell asleep there I was… reading “ Maria did not seem even remotely convinced and walked through to place the bread down in the kitchen.

“ And what’s with the silent treatment with the doll across the street? “

“ she’s too… happy “ Maria laughed and shook her head

“ She's harmless. She’s kind “

“ she’s fuckin annoying “ Maria’s eyebrows flew up and she gave a small laugh again

“ Theresa “ it sounded almost scolding. Tess scoffed at that “ you sound like Ellie “ Tess scoffed again. Fucking Ellie?

“ calling me a kid now Maria? “

“ yeah. Cause you’re acting like one “ she sighed and stood with her hands on her hips, the way that told anyone nearby that she meant business. To shut the fuck up and listen to her “ you’re here now. And you need to stop isolating yourself “ she walked over to her and placed a hand to her arm, a gentle comforting squeeze “ I know it’s hard. I do. But you have to try “

She knew she did. She was just stubborn and stuck in her ways. And you really were… peppy. One of those people that seemed constantly in a good mood, seeing the world through rose tinted glasses and trying to spread your joy.

Tess’ own glasses had smashed a long long time ago. And she saw no reason for the amount of joy you seemed to hold.

“ I’m trying “

“ Try harder then “ Maria said before folding her arms and tilting her head a little as she watched her “ what’s going on with you? “ Tess stood up again and ran a hand through her hair, wishing she knew. Wishing she had the words to explain.

But how could she? How could she tell Maria that she wanted to go home? She wanted Boston back. That she felt out of place in Jackson and had never felt as lonely as she did in her entire life.

“ I’m fine. I’m just tired. Shall we go? “ Maria didn’t seem convinced but nodded, following her outside.

It was a nice day. Spring was in full swing now, in the weeks between Salt Lake City and settling into town the chill of winter had finally disappeared. She could see daffodils sprouting in the window boxes of your house. Her own were barron.

“ I’ve put you on farming rotation today. Sounds good? “ she nodded “ okay. It’s easy enough. Pot things, label things, pull things. It’s quite therapeutic “ she’d be the judge of that one.

She followed Maria around to the greenhouses, watching how people greeted her and smiled when they saw her. She didn’t know whether she was jealous or annoyed.

“ okay. Greenhouse 4, shouldn’t take more than a couple hours. When you’ve finished in there come find me if you want to help out some more. Okay? "She followed where Maria was pointing and stopped when she spotted someone already inside greenhouse 4.

“ are you fuckin kidding me Maria“

You.

Maria smiled and squeezed her shoulders, leaning close to her ear

“ Be nice “ Tess scoffed and turned to try and beg her to assign her anywhere else but there, but Maria was already walking off.

“ Maria- “

“ be. Nice! “

“ fuck “ she gave a frustrated huff and headed into the greenhouse, you turned around at the sound with that usual beaming smile on your face. She didn’t have the energy for this today. Didn’t have the energy for you.

“ Oh hi. I didn’t know I was paired with you today “ she stood not really knowing what she was supposed to do, annoyance practically steaming out of her ears “ you wanna get that side and I’ll continue with this side? Seeds are in that bag there, compost and soil is there, tools in the crate under the table. Okay? “

She gave a small nod and headed for the crate of tools, pulling out a small trowel and grabbing a pot. But she found her hands refusing to move. Simply staring down at the equipment in her hands. It felt like a weight was pushing down on her shoulders, crushing her chest, turning all of her muscles to lead.

“ I thought Maria would’ve had you trained up for patrols by now “ you said lightly, the sound of your trowel filling another pot “ from what I’ve heard your pretty handy with a gun “

What had you heard?

“ yeah “ she said, almost having to force herself to reply “ soon… they don’t like new people straight on patrol “ her hands still wouldn’t move.

“ figures. You could always ask her to put you on my regular route at first if you like. It’s one of the busier ones, you seem a little stressed. And well blowing the head off a clicker might be beneficial “ you laughed as you said it but quite frankly she felt you were right.

She didn’t like being unarmed. Adults in town were allowed to own their own weapons but weren’t to bring them out of their house unless they were heading on patrol. Her back pocket felt too empty without her gun there. Her fingers itched to hold it, if only for the familiarity of the metal on her fingers.

“ or why don’t you see if she’ll assign you on the hunting crew? Shooting rabbits isn’t exactly as fun as putting down clickers but. You know it’s something “ you seemed fully convinced that the answer to Tess’ supposed stress was killing something one way or another.

What had you heard about her? Who had been talking?

“ right “ she still hadn’t potted a single seed, some unmoving crushing sense of dread still heavy on her shoulders.

She didn’t know why the weight of her problems was weighing her down so heavily in the last few days. She didn’t know why she couldn’t just adjust to Jackson. Why was she feeling more anxious and depressed in the safest possible place she could be, than when she had been living under the looming threat of being murdered everyday?

No normal person's mind worked that way. No normal decent person craved the life she had once had. The familiarity back at least. She felt sick.

You were humming a song to yourself now. It felt irrationally loud in her ears. She could hear Maria’s voice in her head too. Telling her to try. To try be nice. Try to mingle.

“ thank you. For the bread “ she said in an attempt at conversation. She’d known it was you that had left it. Had seen the sprig of some kind of flower tucked into the cloth it was wrapped in. Obviously you “ but I don’t need charity “

“ it’s not charity “ you said, the sound of your tools stilling “ it’s a gift. I don’t know… welcome to town gesture that’s all “

“ Whatever it was. I don’t need it “ maybe this wasn’t exactly nice. But it needed to be said “ you can take it back if you want. I haven’t touched it “

“ alright “ she didn’t have to look at you to know your face would be reminiscent of a kicked puppy “ keep the lavender though. It’s calming… it’ll help you sleep” she turned around to look at you then. How did you know she wasn’t sleeping?

“ how- “

“ I came from a QZ myself, I spent years after that roaming. I know it takes time to adjust Tess. I barely slept a wink when I first got here… paranoid an infected was gonna jump me in my sleep or FEDRA was gonna come arrest me cause they suspected me of rebel activity… silly I know but. Our brains are hardwired into survival mode and it takes some time to shake it off “

It sounded genuinely sincere. Caring. She barely knew you and yet you seemed as though you actually wanted to help her. It made her skin prickle.

“ yeah. Well. I’m not you “ she turned back around as if to resume her previous activity. Though she had still not potted a single seed.

“ That's very clear “ even annoyed you sounded remotely cheerful still. Like no malice truly laced your words.

What was she doing here? The world was a hell hole, it was full of shitty people all doing shitty things. And there she was planting fucking carrots. In some odd altercation with you about her behaviour.

“ Tess? Everything okay? "Your hand falling on her shoulder shocked her into reality. She stepped away from your touch, moving so quickly it was as if you’d burnt her, heading for the door. She felt like she was suffocating she needed to get out “ Tess? “

“ I- I have to go “ you hurried out after her and she took a deep breath of the fresh air trying to calm herself. This wasn’t her. She wasn’t skittish and scared. She didn’t get anxious and erratic. She didn’t recognise herself anymore.

“ Can I do anything? I can get Maria or-“

“ look. I know you mean well. But I don’t need… any of this. I don’t need you thinking you’re helping all of the time “ her words were harsh and as much as you annoyed her, it was like looking at a kicked puppy “ just. Stop “

She turned away from you and headed straight for home. Home. Home that felt nothing like the word.

She felt ungrateful. People were sleeping out in the woods or in derelict buildings basically waiting to be attacked by infected. And she had a house. Warmth. Safety. But she couldn’t shake the feelings and she hated it.

She closed the town out behind her, closing the door and leaning against it to catch her breath. Why was this all so difficult for her? Why was she so incapable of adjusting to some kind of regular society again?

She debated talking to Joel. If anyone in town understood her it was him. Joel knew her inside out, could talk to her with just a look, knew what she was going to do before she did it. But he was settling in fine. He wasn’t struggling like she was. She didn’t want to weigh him down with that when he finally seemed so light.

She hid away for the rest of the day, almost expecting Maria to come and drag her back out again. But she didn’t to her relief. She had her peace and quiet to mope. To wallow in her own stupid sadness and isolation.

Until the evening.

She sighed when there was a knock on the door, probably Ellie ready to go charging around the room rambling off every piece of information about her day with an amused Joel in tow. Though she actually wouldn’t mind that.

But it wasn’t Ellie. Or Joel.

“ hey “

“ I thought- “

“ I know. Look. I just wanted to come and tell you I was sorry if I offended you or something. You just… you seemed like you needed a friend and I wanted to help “ she could tell you genuinely meant it. That you truly were one of those people that was just… nice. Good. Even after the past two decades that had twisted and warped so many others, herself included, you had somehow remained what she assumed was the same.

“ well I don’t… need any help “ you gave a small nod but didn’t immediately leave, shuffling a little awkwardly on the spot “ anything else? “

“ I noticed. I noticed you don’t have anything in the window boxes. I have some spare seeds… flowers can really help brighten the place up. I find that on sad days it’s always a little bit nicer to look at a flower than an empty box “ she opened her mouth to decline, to tell you she didn’t want you in her way. But you seemed to anticipate it “ you won’t even have to see me. Or talk to me. I can do it when you’re not home or if you are I can… I can just knock so you know I’m there. So you can wait for me to leave or- it’s just an idea “

She figured that in the long run giving you something to do that you might take as being helpful, might actually make you leave her alone a little more. And so, ever so slightly reluctantly, she sighed and nodded.

“ fine “ the smile on your face after that almost made her want to smile too. Almost. So kind. So genuine. So… bright.

“ yeah? Okay. Do you have any preferences? Or allergies? Colours maybe- “ she lifted a hand in a silent request for you to shut up.

Be nice.

She closed her eyes for a moment and gave a steady sigh, forcing some attempt at a smile onto her face.

“ anything. Anything is fine “ you gave a nod and turned slightly before pausing. You seemed to debate something for a moment before delving into your pocket and pulling out a small jar of something that looked like jam.

“ I know… I know you said you didn’t want- it goes real nice with the bread “ she waited a second before taking it from your hands. You said nothing else, just gave her a small nod of a goodbye and headed down the steps and across the street.

That evening she ate bread with the jam. It was annoyingly good.

———————————

You’d appeared the next morning to plant the seeds. And then you tended to them everyday. Watering them and doing god knows what to the soil. You would let her know you were there each time, a small knock on the door that you didn’t even mind if she didn’t answer. Just letting her know you were out there. Just as you’d said.

And as time passed she found herself answering it from time to time. Just poking her head around the door to see what you were doing, always there with your small watering can and a smile.

And that was okay. You were okay. Nothing else in her life felt right at that moment. But having a new constant did. And she had to admit that even when she woke up on the couch, rubbing at her sore neck, seeing the sprouts through the window almost made her crack a smile. Almost.

SUMMER

As the cold completely shifted from Jackson’s air she found that not even the warmth could truly raise her mood completely. Everyone in town seemed far more cheery, like the sun had some odd healing ability to make everyone more joyful after the bitter winter and the final week of spring which had been nothing but solid rain fall.

Though Tess, begrudgingly enough, found that her own joys still only stemmed from her family. But also from you. As much as she refused to admit it, she’d found herself looking forward to your small knocks on her door each morning, or on mornings where she left early for patrol she found herself almost hoping you’d be on the porch with your watering can and your smile.

Which she didn’t exactly understand or care to understand either. In fact she blatantly ignored the voices in her head warning that she was going soft. That she was beginning to almost look at you as some kind of friend.

She opened the door more often than not now, even made attempts to ask you about the flowers or ask about your day. You never probed her about herself which she liked. You didn’t pry. You let her be. You let her keep her walls fiercely guarded without so much as a complaint. And she kind of hated the fact that made her like you a little more.

And that morning was no different to the rest now, you had knocked and she had gone out to say hello. Had offered you tea and you had accepted as you so often did.

Her night had been filled with bad dreams. And she had feared that it would send her into another one of those days. Where she wanted to do nothing but hide and mope. But she had forced herself to go outside. At least to say hello.

Annoyingly to her, Maria had been right. And she lived there now. And that meant she had to try. She had to try adjust. Fit in. Be… nice.

She still felt wary around you. Maybe even more so because of how she was beginning to sort of like you. Or maybe tolerate was the better word. She told herself it was anyway. But she had been in Jackson a few months at this point. And after a few months your joy and happiness was bound to wear her down. Even if she was reluctant about it.

“ you know if you take good enough care of these they’ll bloom next spring too “ you said as she hovered by the door watching you “ it takes time and care though. Pretty things but strong enough to survive the winter if they’re tended too correctly “ your eyes flitted up to her for a moment as you said it and she felt the statement were a little more loaded than just being about the flowers.

“ I’ll leave that up to you “ you smiled warmly and looked back down at the plants.

“ here’s hoping “

Tess watched you carefully, still unsure exactly how to pinpoint what she was feeling. She was beginning to like having you around. But also your joy drove her insane. You were annoying. So unbelievably annoying with your bright smile and desire to care.

And yet… you had managed to be the one to coax her out of the house. Yes it was only to her porch but it was still out. You had given her something to almost look forward to each day.

She didn’t like it.

“ oh shit “ she blinked a couple of times to drag herself out of her head to see blood in her peripheral, dripping between your fingers and between the floorboards of the porch.

“ what did you- “

“ fucking sheers they slipped I. Look, it's fine it’s just a cut… You got a bandage or something? “ Tess nodded and glanced towards her door. She realised how bad it would seem to keep you out on the porch. To just leave you there whilst she went looking. But also the thought of you in her home…

“ yeah. Do you wanna… come in? Wanna wash it or something “ part of her almost wished you’d say no, but the relief on your face made her regret the thought instantly

“ thanks Tess “ she headed straight for the kitchen. Not even looking to see if you were behind her, rummaging around in a cupboard for her box of medical supplies.

“ wash it. The sink “ she murmured, watching you carefully from the corner of her eye as you headed for the sink beside her, cupping your hand in some attempt to not drip blood onto the tiles. She looked at your bloody hands, ignoring the guilt rising in her chest at the fact you had injured yourself doing something for her, and reached out for you. She held your cut hand in her palm, leading it carefully under the water. She could feel you watching her, eyes almost burning into her skin as she gently washed away the blood and the soil.

She focussed on the pink swirls twisting down the drain rather than looking at you.

She didn’t like it. Didn’t like how you put her on edge. She didn’t want to go delving into why exactly that was either. Why in the space of 6 months she had gone from despising your very existence, to having you in her home because you’d hurt yourself tending to her flowers. It was a lot to try and process all in one go.

“ Marias always laughing at me “ you said as she turned off the water “ says I’m one of the best snipers in town yet I’m clumsy as shit with anything else. Can shoot a clicker miles off but can’t handle a pair of gardening shears? Idiot “

Maria had told her all about your impressive skills out on patrols. She was yet to see them for herself though, Maria hadn’t paired you together yet. Thankfully. Though she couldn’t lie that curiosity on the matter was strong. She’d always had some morbid fascination with the nicest of people that were able to kill like it was second nature.

A silent chaos raging behind a gentle smile.

“ guns more important than sheers “

“ well that depends on the situation don’t you think? Gun won’t help clip the weeds “

She bandaged your hand silently with the care and tenderness that few saw from her, wrapping it up and admiring her work for a second.

She stood back when she was done not exactly knowing what to say anymore. And she hated it. Despised it. Tess always knew what to say. She was always one step ahead of everyone in the room, but she faltered when it came to you. And she didn’t know why. Or what power you seemed to hold over her as of late. Was it your kindness? Was it the simple fact that you had never shown her nothing but care and respect since day one and she just didn’t know how to accept it? Maybe.

She wandered if you noticed how she looked out of place in her own home. Surrounded by so many things that she had no connection to. Objects that weren’t hers, placed into a house that had once been lived in by others. Loved by others.

Like so many others she had gotten used to not getting attached to materialistic things. She could see you glancing around, how you could probably see that from the way the place looked so… bare. Unloved by her. Un- lived in by her. That you probably figured it out pretty quickly.

You were watching her intently as you wandered the kitchen and she didn’t like it, she didn’t like the way you made her feel like a prey animal ready to dart any moment. That wasn’t her. She wasn’t prey. She wasn’t the hunted. She was the hunter. She was the one with the upper hand.

But not with you. Not with you and your unyielding kindness and desire to know her.

So she turned around and started packing away the medical box slowly and carefully. Just to give her hands something to do.

“ why are you so afraid of me? “ you asked suddenly and she turned around with a confused look on her face. Afraid of you? Why would she possibly be afraid of someone like you.

“ what are you talking about? “

“ you’re afraid. You won’t let me in. You barely even let me be your friend. You keep trying to scare me away with being so… miserable. You have to let people in Tess… and I think it’s because you’re scared yourself I- “

“ I’m not afraid of you “ She said immediately. Her heckles raised at the intrusion. And at the confusion for your sudden lack of ability to not interfere “ are you afraid of me? “ she asked, her voice calm. And low and steady. Intimidating. The way she spoke to people in Boston who were pissing her off and she needed to remind them who she was. Her eyes had not left you for even a second. They were burning into you. Calculated. Smart. Intense.

Some desperate attempt and desire to keep you out. To make you back off. Even if it meant missing those morning knocks and tea on the porch. She couldn’t let you in. She wouldn’t.

But you weren’t afraid of her. You never had been. She could tell. You were stubborn. So unbearably kind but stubborn. Stubborn in the way you had kept up your daily visits even when she wouldn’t answer her door, in the way you still waved at her before she even spoke to you. So stubborn in the way you were standing your ground before her.

“ no. I know I should be. I know what you did. But I’m not “ she folded her arms across her chest, quirking a brow. Who had you been talking to? What could you possibly know. So you hadn’t been refraining from asking her questions all along, you’d been getting your information else where. She was almost impressed. It was smart. Calculated even.

At this point she wouldn’t be surprised if you’d cut yourself on purpose to get inside and make her talk.

“ oh? Oh you know what I did? “

“ someone in town… was gossiping I- everyone’s done bad things “ you said with a shrug.

“ what do you know? “ she advanced on you then. Slowly. Crossing the room to where you stood by the wall. You didn’t move. You held your ground.

“ a lot “

“ tell me “ she wanted to hear you say it. To confirm if what you knew was true. But also because maybe some sick part of her needed reminding what she had once been capable of. Of what she had been before she had become that misery of a human whose only joys came from her pseudo kid and the woman who planted flowers for her.

“ all the people you killed. Tortured “ your voice had dropped to almost a whisper as she stood in front of you. But you still didn’t look scared. And she couldn’t decide how that made her feel. Annoyed? Because she clearly didn’t hold the fear inducing powers she once had. Or… relieved? That she had finally come across someone that took what she had done and dusted it under the rug. Accepted it and moved on.

“ and it doesn’t scare you? “

“ you must’ve had your reasons “ there was a heavy tension hanging in the air, she could feel it thickly between you. Soon enough one of you would choke “ I know what you did. I don’t care. You can’t scare me away Tess “ at this point she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to.

No one had challenged her like that. No one like you anyway. No one so… sweet.

Her old self would’ve laughed. Would’ve laughed in your face and thrown you out. But then again. Her old self would’ve laughed at what she had become too.

Things had changed. And she needed to accept it.

“ stop trying to scare me off “ to her surprise you reached up, your hand gentle on her face. She recoiled at first. As if your fingers were steeped in acid and you’d blistered her skin with your touch. But you waited a moment and did it again. And she froze, unsure of what you were doing or how she was supposed to react to it “ I want to be your friend. Let me. You don’t have to scare every single person that wants to care for you away. If anything you damn well need it “

She didn’t know what to say. Stood there like she was made of stone with your gentle hand on her cheek, your face full of nothing but warmth and affection for her. She felt like a deer in headlights.

“ you don’t know what I need “ she finally spoke, taking a single step back so that your hand fell away. Though she was certain she could still feel it. A kind touch was so unfamiliar to her, so rare that it lingered in her skin “ you know nothing about me “

“ I know enough “ so stubborn. So unwilling to take no for an answer or let yourself be pushed away. She kind of liked it. Liked the challenge “ you have to let people in. Let me in. I know how you feel- “

“ how could you possibly know how I feel “ she almost spat “ you’ve lived here. Comfortable and safe “ you gave a small laugh at that

“ not always “ she didn’t know why she had assumed you had been there so long, maybe because you were so… settled. Adapted “ spent two years captured by a bunch of slavers before I even set foot in Jackson. I’m not some sheltered little girl born into comfort Tess “ she took a step back, eyes narrowing as she tried to asses the new information presented to her.

She knew about slavers. Had been taken by them herself at one point. But two years? She had been there two days, in a tiny camp as they prepared to move her to their main base before she’d managed to get away. Those two days had been hell. She couldn’t imagine two years.

Maybe she had underestimated you after all.

But before she could answer you properly there was another knock to her door.

“ only me! “ Maria’s voice sounded as she entered the house, opening her mouth to say something else but stopping when she saw you stood there. She looked violently overjoyed “ oh! I’m sorry. Didn’t know you had company “ it must have been an odd sight to walk into. Tess as stoney faced as ever and you practically gazing at her.

“ sorry I- “

“ did you need something? “ Tess asked

“ lunch, the whole family. Good haul from the hunting crew today “ family. Her family. As dysfunctional as it was she very much wanted to escape the current situation and see them “ but if you’re busy- “

“ no. I’m not. She was just leaving “ she glanced over at you as you gave a small nod and a smile, quietly excusing yourself and heading for the door.

“ just. Think about what I said Tess? I’ll see you tomorrow “

She didn’t hear the end of that for the entirety of lunch. Maria not usually one to pry. But knowing very much that Ellie and Tommy would. Casually mentioning it and… that was that.

Ellie seemed particularly delighted. Looking at her in a way that she recognised from her own childhood when she realised liking girls wasn’t just a her thing. That she wasn’t the only one. But Tess didn’t probe. Though she was happy in the knowledge Ellie would come to her if she needed.

“ y’know I think it’s real nice “ Joel said to her when she stepped outside stating she needed a little air “ she’s softenin you “ Tess scoffed and folded her arms across her chest

“ you have no idea what you’re talking about. She’s a neighbour. And she looks after the flowers. She’s a pain in my ass”

“ baby steps Tess “ she glanced over at him and he was giving her that look that said he knew something was going on inside her head “ you leave the house more now “

“ to my porch and back “ she mumbled not entirely wanting to get into that conversation. She was not in the mood to discuss her long hours trapped inside her house. And her head.

“ baby. Steps “ she sighed and ran a hand over her face. She was tired.

“ she wants to be my friend “ it sounded so unbelievably juvenile to say out loud. She almost regretted saying it

“ and… you don’t want that? “

“ no “ she said maybe a little too quickly

“ right “ she could feel him watching her, trying to read her as he so often did. The way only two people who had been together for so long could do “ I don’t think I believe that “

“ I’m not asking you to “ he sighed again, used to her stubbornness. Her bad moods.

“ you are allowed to have friends Tess. And… more than that. I don’t know what that girls intentions are, I don’t pretend to know how your mind works either. But if you really didn’t like her then why are you still lettin her around? Tess I know would’ve told her to fuck off and threatened her for good measure for even tryna talk to you if you didn’t like her “

“ you’re talking shit “ he laughed and shrugged

“ you’re proving my point. Tess. Just do something. If you want her? Go get her. Tess I know would. And if not? Tell her to leave you be. Cause this mood you’re in… it’s not nice to see “

“ ‘ the Tess you know’ “ she muttered under breath. She didn’t feel like that Tess anymore.

By the time she walked home she couldn’t tell if she was more annoyed by the entire situation or relieved by it because somehow Joel of all people had begun to put things into perspective for her.

Maybe it was both.

Though the annoyance was slightly winning out. She wasn’t soft. She didn’t like the implications that you were softening her. She was stronger than that. Stronger than you. She hadn’t pushed you away because Maria said she needed to be nice. That’s why.

It was.

Wasn’t it?

She felt a sudden desperate need to prove to herself that what she was thinking was correct. And not Joel.

She was not soft. She was in control.

She didn’t quite know what it was that compelled her feet to head up your porch steps rather than her own. Knocking on the door before she’d even fully come to a halt.

Waiting impatiently for you to answer, looking a little surprised to see her when you did appear.

She pushed past the threshold, watching you take a step back in mild confusion at her sudden intrusion, cupping your face in both her hands and kissing you. You stumbled for barely half a second, kissing her back with a muffled moan and your fingers wrapping around her wrists.

The confidence she was used to felt far more present in your space, in the four walls of your home rather than her own.

She pressed you up against the closest wall, kissing you like her life depended on it. Far more in control than she was a few hours earlier. Than she had been in a while.

And this was it. This was the familiarity she had craved wasn’t it? This was the power she had been missing, the ability to take what she wanted when she wanted it. Even when she wasn’t entirely sure it was what she wanted.

So why didn’t it feel the same. Why did it not even slightly fill the void in her chest.

You were breathing heavily as she pulled away to catch her own breath, a joyful almost dopey smile on your face. You looked so incredibly beautiful. Sweet.

She’d break you. She would. She knew she would. It was a vicious awful cycle. Anyone she got close to got hurt. Friend or… more. It would all end the same way.

“ this won’t end well “ she said quietly, not entirely meaning to say it out loud. The words escaping her as she watched you, someone so beautiful and kind didn’t belong with someone like her.

Someone who had not let the awful things that happened to them twist them into something unrecognisable. In the way that Tess had.

It would be a mess.

“ maybe not “ you answered, voice just as quiet “ but did you ever stop to think that maybe it will be okay? “

“ no “ you laughed softly, head leaning back against the wall and your eyes falling closed for a moment. She wished she could have such a carefree look. She didn’t think her face even knew how to relax into such an expression.

“ have a little faith “

AUTUMN

It had been over 20 years since her life had completely fallen apart. And a lot could happen in 20 years. A lot had happened. Tess was good at having bad shit happen and then burying it so deep down that she didn’t have to think about it. She was good at having a blank face when inside she was screaming. But in the end, one person could only hide so much stuff for so long. Eventually it would spill. And every now and again it did.

And when it did? It was suffocating.

It struck her out of no where. She never saw it coming.

Sometimes it almost scared her. Scared her that the stuff she had done wasn’t even the worst of what kept her up at night. She had no remorse for the people she had killed. Tortured. Those bodies and those sounds. They didn’t haunt her. The stuff that had come before that had damaged her beyond repair.

The first few years had been the worst. Before FEDRA had full control, before any rules were in full effect. When everyone ran rampant, when people looted and murdered because they felt like it. When groups formed and did whatever they wanted. To who they wanted. When Tess had been alone. Had left her home with nothing but the clothes on her back and ran. And ran. And by some miracle survived.

That time before Joel. Before the entirety of the group making their way up to Boston.

Tess didn’t get scared. She wasn’t afraid of things. But she had been back then. She had been so afraid.

So utterly powerless and out of control.

She tried to see the positives as ridiculous as it sounded. Tried to twist the shitty things that had happened. The shitty things that she had done. She had done them to survive. And maybe that scared her even more. That she felt justified in her actions.

That she could think back to certain people she had tortured. Killed. Ambushed. And justify it. Not feel as though she had done the wrong thing at all.

And that she would do it all again if she needed to.

She would throw herself in front of trucks feigning an injury. Just a poor, defenceless woman. Beg for help only for Joel and the others to spring from the bushes and take everything they had. She’d kill every man and woman that got in the way of her rise in the smuggling ring. She’d tortured ever last piece of information out of those fuckers who had taken Ellie. Murdered every. Last. Firefly. In that hospital.

All again. A million times over.

But her humanity was still in her somewhere. Buried deep down but there. And when it reared its head it was ugly. Filled with words to make her feel like the worst person alive. Fill her ears with the strangled cries of her son. The sickening sound of the blood that pooled in her husband’s throat.

It made her feel numb. Like she was floating. No longer in her body and desperately trying to claw her way back down to it.

“ Tess? “ she was too lost to react. Too deep inside her own head to even turn around and look at you. But she knew that voice. The voice that had become as familiar as Maria’s. Ellie’s. Joels “ Tess what are you doing it’s freezing out here “ your voice was soft compared to the voices that were screeching inside her head, soothing. Gentle. Quieter yet somehow speaking over the screaming ones.

Your hands fell onto her arm and she flinched, shifting away from your touch.

“ hey. Sorry “ you said softly, hands raised in some kind of surrender “ won’t touch you again “ the voices were still shouting at her, but a little further off now. Like she was on one side of the room and they were on the other. And wasn’t that interesting. Where in the past only Joel had been able to coax her back to reality. Ground her. Now you had. And she had known you far less “ can I sit? “ she gave a small nod and you sat down, leaving a small gap between you both.

Things between the two of you had been a little different as of late.

You hadn’t kissed since that day she’d barged through your front door and re established that she was very much the one holding the reins. But she was letting herself be lighter. Trying her hardest to open up to you. To go into town more. Smile back at people. And it was hard. And slow going. But she was getting there.

Baby steps. Like Joel had said.

“ I’m gonna go get a blanket okay? It’s so cold “ she listened as you went inside, returning a few moments later.

“ why are you here? “ she asked as you sat down beside her again, wrapping the blanket around you both.

“ I was out on late patrol. I saw the light on… was gonna come see why you were still up. Have a chat or something… you didn’t answer so I just poked my head inside and I saw the back door was open“

She gave a small nod and continued staring out at the backyard. She hadn’t really done much to it. But there was a rope swinging attached to the large tree at the bottom now. Ellie loved it.

“ do you need to talk? About anything? “ you asked quietly “ it’s what friends are for you know. Talking “

“ I’ve never been very good at friends “ you gave a small laugh and nodded

“ yeah. I figured that one out myself “ you shuffled a little closer to her, nudging her leg with yours “ you must’ve had friends at some point “

The ones that truly stuck in her mind were Bill and Frank. Frank would’ve loved you she realised very quickly. You were so alike. So happy. Made to see the positive in absolutely every single thing. Yet becoming friends with Frank had been far easier than becoming friends with you.

She’d been different back then.

“ I had. I had friends “ she started, realising in that moment that she had never actually spoken about Bill and Frank since they’d died. Her and Joel had done as they always had and refused to talk about it. Let it settle and weigh heavy until it began to dissipate on its own “ they lived a few miles out of Boston. Met them over the radio “

“ they weren’t in a zone? “

“ no. Bill… fuckin crazy been planning for doomsday his whole life. Had the whole town mapped out and wired up “ she actually cracked a small smile thinking about it “ Frank though. I think. I think he’s the closest thing to a friend I really had “

She missed him. She missed them both. And missing Bill was something she never thought she’d feel, even if he was more open to her company than Joel’s.

You listened diligently as she spoke about Lincoln. Dinners in the garden and Bills stash of supplies, the awkwardness that always lingered between Bill and Joel. The bi monthly drop offs that had started increasing in distance as Frank got sicker and Bill got older. And then finding them with Ellie. The silent moment she had taken in the garden to cry for her lost friends whilst Ellie showered and Joel fixed the car.

“ they sound like amazing people “ she shrugged and glanced over at you for a moment. And maybe it was silly of her to take so long to realise it. But maybe she had a friend in you, maybe more than that. Maybe she had done all along and had been too blinded by her own self loathing and moping around to truly notice it.

It was the early hours of the morning and there you were, sat on her porch steps in the dark. Listening to her talk. Comforting her. And she realised that you were exactly what she needed. In that moment and every other moment to follow. Your compassion and your calming force of a personality. The way you cared…. Loved even. Your stubbornness. Your loyalty.

“ thank you “ she said quietly “ for being here “ you looked up at her and smiled. That warm, sweet smile that made even the coldest of days feel mild. Tess was all sharp edges and bitter words, someone so soft should be keeping a safe distance to ensure they didn’t get cut. But you weren’t afraid. You never had been “ for everything “ she didn’t want to elaborate and you didnt make her.

She reached forward to cup your face in her hand, thumb tracing over your cheekbone. You understood her in a way it had taken Joel 20 years to. Some odd force of nature that wiggled your way through the cracks in her heavily guarded walls.

Her eyes drifted down to your lips. Remembering the hard, forceful kiss you had shared that one time before. The kind she was used to. The kind she was good at. She wasn’t very good at being tender and caring. Kissing and all that lead from it had long since been something she did out of care and love. It was a means to an end. A release. A way to remind herself she was human.

But it didn’t have to be that way anymore.

“ you gonna kiss me or not? “ you whispered. And it made her lips twitch into a smile.

Tess had kissed a lot of people in her time. And if she was perfectly honest she wasn’t entirely a fan. Kisses were not like how the movies or books portrayed them most of the time. Uncoordinated or clumsy, too much teeth or tongue. She didn’t care much for kissing.

But kissing you was different. Kissing you was like a shot of adrenaline straight into her veins. It was the closest she felt she could come to understanding why Joel had been so hooked on pills before Ellie. It was addictive.

But something had changed now. Some locked gate inside of her had finally clicked open and you had seized the opportunity to slip your way inside. And she surprised herself with the realisation that it actually didn’t seem all that terrifying now, having you there. Having those feelings and thoughts.

Of course there was still… something. But it was less so.

Holding your face in her hand, your willingness to let her lead and melt into her. With every soft and gentle movement of her lips against yours she felt herself slipping. Like when the winter storms would hit Boston and her worn down boots couldn’t find grip on the icy paths.

But this slip wouldn’t end with her falling flat on her ass and nursing a bruised leg. You were keeping her tethered. Your fingers that were looped around her wrist, your hair that was tickling her face.

It made her feel startlingly real. Alive. Present. Present in a moment in a way she hadn’t done all day, she’d spent the day drifting. Some far off place in her head where her demons scrambled over her and suffocated the air out of her lungs. But she was breathing fine now, breathing in air that was yours, breathing as if you were her air.

She kissed you until her jaw started to ache, not sure how long it had been or how many quick seconds apart to catch her breath there had been. But when she finally did let you go the fog that had been blinding her all day seemed to have disappeared. Everything felt as though she were looking through glasses that had just had the lenses cleaned.

Sharper. Clearer.

“ it’s really fuckin cold “ she murmured, causing a giggle to bubble past your lips.

“ yeah. It’s freezing “ you didn’t seem even mildly pissed that that had been her first words after practically kissing your face off. Instead you both silently seemed to agree to go inside, collapsing onto her couch and kissing some more.

Something had shifted after that. Had changed after she’d woken up the following morning on the couch with you.

She actively chose to be around you, even more so than she had been. Spent enough time with you that people began to murmur about it. But she found she no longer cared.

There was still an odd weight looming in her chest, one she was certain may never actually go away. But it was far lighter than it had been.

WINTER

Tess had always preferred winter to summer. Especially after Boston. She hated those sticky summer days. Especially in that apartment that was freezing in winter but a sauna in the summer, no comfortable in between. Days when she felt like the heat was suffocating her and every drop of water she drank sweated its way out of her within the minute.

Winter felt so much… fresher. She liked the snow and the opportunities to wrap up and be warm on her own terms.

Some people found it bleak. But she rather enjoyed it.

You seemed to like it too. Because you could use the cold weather as an excuse to be close to her. And it felt nice. To have you there, to have you wanting to be near her. Even if she was beginning to believe you were forgetting your gloves on purpose now so she would hold your hand.

The arrival of the winter months had brought along the silent confirmation that you two were… something now. Dating didn’t feel right. That word didn’t feel like it belonged in the world anymore. And there had been no real discussions of the matter, mostly due to her own refusal to mention it. And ‘girlfriend’… it felt a little juvenile. Even if was Ellie teasing her every fucking day that you were in fact her girlfriend now.

Jackson was starting to feel more like somewhere she could begin to call home. Riding back through the gates with Joel, watching them close behind her but not feeling that feeling of imprisonment anymore. Not feeling as trapped as the walls in Boston, but finally feeling safe.

She walked into the Bison, happy to find it slightly less crowded than it could be. She walked over to the bar, smiling at the guy stood drying off a glass

“ hey… she here? “ something in her still prickled with an odd sense of anxiety that she didn’t need to ask for you by name now. That they all knew who she meant. That Tess would not venture into the bison alone for anyone else, and that you would never be leaving with anyone else but her.

But she pushed it aside.

“ yeah she’s out the back. I’ll grab her “ she waited patiently as he disappeared through the door, glancing around with some still deep rooted fear that someone was watching her. She didn’t think she’d ever shake that. But she had to remind herself that no one there was after her. No one there was watching her to find her weakness and abuse it.

“ hey you “ you appeared through the door a few moments later and you greeted with that beaming smile of yours, looking at her as if she were the singular source of joy in your life. You leant over the bar and she met you half way, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. It was the kind of kiss that was… familiar. The kind two people in love shared without thought, something as simple and regular as breathing.

“ having fun? “

“ oh yeah. Making sandwiches, riveting stuff “ she watched you wipe your hands off on a towel before slipping your way out from behind the bar “ but I’d really like to go home now “ Tess nodded and offered you her arm without needing to be asked, your hands slipping into their usual place and huddling close against her.

It was getting chillier out, the sky had taken on that odd yellowy state that signalled impending snow. The kind of day that back in Boston would’ve been some forewarning of an impending low ration season. But there was no such thing in Jackson.

You spoke about your shift in the bison as you walked and Tess listened diligently, all the while silently musing over you asking to go home. And very much heading with Tess towards hers.

But. You stayed over more often than not now. Your things were starting to intermingle with her own, the space that had previously felt so barren and so disconnected from herself… now felt almost like a home.

There were some of Ellie’s drawings tacked to the fridge, her talent alone making the space seem a little more lived in. A few pictures had been framed now too and dotted about the place. Tess, Joel and Ellie over for dinner at Tommy and Maria’s. Another of Ellie pulling a stupid face with Joel looking slightly amused at her side. One of you and her, you beaming at the camera as she looked at you. Maria had taken that one much to Tess’ original dismay. But she was quite thankful for it now.

That was the first piece of you that had made its way into her home.

You had a toothbrush in her bathroom now. A spare jacket on the hooks by the door. A small box of gardening tools by the front door. A hand knitted blanket across the back of her couch.

You were in the air even. The air wafted of the flowers you adored wherever you went, you filled the place she had only ever referred to as a house into home.

And sometimes it almost made her want to laugh. Laugh at herself for what she had become. Tess didn’t take things slow like this. Tess didn’t let her space be invaded by someone else. Tess didn’t have feelings or let herself… love.

Which was exactly what she was feeling more and more these days. Which was completely and utterly terrifying but she found she was just letting it happen. Because she could. And because she was allowed to.

She wasn’t old Tess anymore. If anything she was beginning to feel as though she was slowly becoming more and more like the version of herself that had existed before an apocalypse had destroyed the world. The kind of woman that did date and did take things slow. That had girlfriends or boyfriends and wasn’t scared. Was care free and happy.

And maybe that was more scary than the fear she had felt at losing the version of herself that had developed over 20 years of hell.

She was beginning to think that nothing would ever be without fear these days. But she was working on it. And it was lessening.

And you becoming a permanent fixture in her house was part of that.

Quite often the nights ended exactly as they currently were too. With you walking home together, cuddling up together on the couch to escape the chill of winter.

And making out until she forgot how to breathe.

It had not been more than that. She hadn’t allowed herself to let it be. Had happily let you sit in her lap or let you pull her down over you and sink into the couch cushions. But she never let it progress.

She didn’t truly think about why and you had never asked it of her either. Until tonight.

“ why are you holding back? “ you whispered, pulling back from her slightly. Still close enough that she could feel your breath against her lips.

Why was she holding back?

Because you weren’t some random girl she picked up in the zone because she was bored and lonely. Because until you, sex had become something with little feeling. Something to do because she needed some human contact that wasn’t Joel stitching up a stab wound.

And it was funny, really, when she thought about why she was holding back. Why as much as she may have wanted to, as much as the old her would’ve gone and gotten what she wanted months ago… she hadn’t.

Because it hadn’t felt right. Hadn’t been the time. You deserved more than that. You deserved more than a quick, meaningless fuck off somewhere secluded because she wanted to feel like a human being again. No, you deserved more.

Maybe you still did. She couldn’t figure it out yet.

But what she did know, was if now was not the time then she would wait. She would wait a million and one lifetimes. As much as she knew the short serotonin boost would breathe some life into her for a few hours again… she would endure. Because when she really thought about it, that wasn’t what she wanted really.

She wanted you. Of course she did. Needed you. In every single sense of the phrase. You had been a shiny little light in her darkness, you had prevailed and endured her bitterness to discover something sweet hiding beneath.

And so you deserved the best. Deserved every ounce of love and compassion Tess could find deep within herself.

“ where’d you go? Hm? “ you whispered softly, fingers trailing along the side of her face and tucking an unruly strand of her greying hair behind her ear “ you seem… else where “

“ just thinkin “ your touch was gentle, fingertips somehow still smooth and soft. So different to hers, calloused from years of fighting and doing shitty jobs in the QZ. She felt too rough for you. Too sharp around the edges. Like her hold on you alone could shatter you.

She knew in reality you weren’t delicate. She had watched you shoot like a trained marksmen. Had seen you jump on clickers and stab them until you face was splattered in blood. Chop firewood for town like it was nothing. You were strong. Capable. And yet she felt like she could bruise you like a peach just by looking at you wrong. She was no stranger to your strengths, your capabilities. Yet to her? She felt she could always see you as breakable.

Fine China. Soft fruit. The petals of the flowers you cared so much about.

Soft and pure and delicate. Not made to be touched by the rough and ready hands of the likes of her

And yet…

“ thinking about me? “ you said it with a small laugh, half joking. Half hoping. She gave you a small smile, a small nod.

“ of course “ it came out so quiet she wasn’t even sure she’d really said it right away. But your warm smile told her she had. And you’d heard. And even now, even in that moment, she still took a moment to be amazed at that smile. Amazed that it was because of her. You were smiling because she was thinking of you. You were on her mind. And you liked that.

Her hands twitched slightly at their place on your waist. Almost involuntarily. Like they were trying to make her move, go ahead. Do… something.

You looked down for a second before letting go of your gentle hold of her face, sliding your hands along her arms and trailing your fingers over her wrists.

“ I’m not going to break “ you picked up her hands, moving them down to brush over your ass, your thighs “ you can touch me “ she was afraid she’d do something stupid like blush. So she kissed you again, gently tugging you close by her soft hold on your thighs.

Your hands slid back up her arms, over her shoulders, up to hold the back of her neck, your fingertips slipping under the collar of her shirt. Everything about you was soft. Precise and purposeful. She could practically feel the desire radiating out of your fingers. But also the care.

She hadnt been touched like that in… a while. Touched in a way that conveyed love. A way that was gentle. Caring. Deliberate and slow. Like you wanted to take your time, in a way akin to how you had behaved since you had met her. You wanted to know her. To understand her. To peel back the layers she kept pulling on to keep you out.

And maybe a part of her would always want to keep you out, deep down. Fear of the unknown. Fear of a vulnerability she was still learning to adjust to.

But she was adjusting. Had been. And it felt right now. Felt right having the soft weight of you on her thighs, having your gentle fingers rid her of her sweater. Felt the shame of her equally as raging desire dissipate.

It was okay. She was okay.

She watched your deft fingers carefully unbutton your plaid shirt, one that now she thought about it looked remarkably like one of hers. When had you taken that she wondered.

She let her hands slip over the bare skin of your waist, disappearing under the soft worn cotton of your- her? - shirt. There was a scar along your ribs, the kind that had been there a while. No longer angry and red but faded and soft. She ran her thumb across it.

“ chains “ you said, answering her unasked question.

“ the slavers? “ she murmured, still tracing her thumb over the long stretch of scarred skin. You hummed a reply, your eyes watching her intently

“ plenty of permanent reminders of those fuckers on me “ it still baffled her how you had endured such cruelty and appeared on the other side as gentle as you were. She wanted to track those fuckers down. Torture every single last one that had even looked at you wrong. And reserve a special place in hell for the ones who had left their permanent marks.

She leant forward, dipping her head and pressing her lips to the scar. Your chest deflated in a soft sigh as she did, ghosting her lips over the skin in some feeble attempt to replace the pain with care. Your fingers laced into her hair, silently urging her to kiss you some more. And she did. She kissed up your chest, breath stuttering embarrassingly as her cheek brushed against the cotton covered swell of your chest as she pressed kisses to your sternum.

Everything about you was soft.

She inhaled deeply, your skin smelt of that familiar scent of being outdoors. As if winter air had been bottled and sprayed across your skin like perfume. Something so usually mundane and common place, yet intoxicating on you.

She kissed up your neck, skin in flames with every single soft sigh it caused you to let out.

“ can… can I.. “ you said in between kisses, hands now fumbling with the button of her jeans.

“ not here “ she murmured, pulling away from your lips slightly reluctantly “ you deserve better than the fuckin couch “ that made you smile, head titling to the side inquisitively.

“ well aren’t you just a lady “ Tess scoffed, patting your leg gently to urge you to stand up

“ lady? You must be thinkin of someone else “ you seemed reluctant to stop kissing her, grabbing her multiple times on the way out of the lounge. Including a long pause on the stairs where she almost regretted suggesting you move. And seriously debated just letting the entire thing play out right there on the staircase.

She’d never really been one for kissing. But with you she couldn’t stop. She was obsessed. A woman possessed. And she was taking her time.

But she remained on track. Leading you into her bedroom and the bed she had barely slept in.

She sat down on the edge, watching you as you closed the door before turning to her. Leaning back against it for a moment.

You were truly something. Stood there in your jeans and your bra. Your mismatched socks and your ruffled hair. Lips kiss swollen and eyes watching her intently.

“ c’mere “ she said quietly, gesturing you over with a tilt of her head. You wandered over, coming to a stop in front of her and reaching out to cup her face gently “ you’re so fuckin beautiful you know “ she said, not entirely intending to say it out loud and rather just think it. But the blush that crept across your cheeks made her glad she had said it.

“ you think? “ she hummed a reply, her fingers trailing up and down the backs of your thighs.

She didn’t know what it was about having you there in that room. Her room. Alone. It felt so incredibly intimate. In fact the entire night had. She’d never taken such… time. Time to explore and to appreciate, to admire. And now to have you in bedroom, a room she had barely been able to step foot in alone since arriving in town. But felt almost at ease with you there.

It was a lot to attempt to process all at once. And so she decided not to. That it wasn’t the time to send herself spiralling into yet another pit of despair and dread, she focussed all her attention back to you.

“ you’re sweet “

“ I’m not sweet I’m honest “ you smiled again at that. In reality she was not an honest person. She was deceitful and not to be trusted by anyone but Joel. But you trusted her. And she was honest with you.

She was. You truly were beautiful. And she felt a fool that it had taken her as long as it had to stop and really look at you. Had spent so long despising your presence rather than admiring you from day one.

She slipped her hands further up your legs, cupping the denim clad flesh of your ass and pushing you forward slightly. You took the hint, stepping over her legs and placing yourself back in her lap. Your arms looped loosely around her neck.

She couldn’t resist diving forward, lips against your neck and teeth grazing your soft skin in a way that made the most delicious sounds leave your lips.

“ oh, Tess “ your fingers tugged lightly at her hair as she continued her gentle assault, hands wandering and desperate to touch as much of you as she could. “ I can’t take much more of this teasing “ you whispered after a few moments, tugging at her hair to make her raise her head.

Her fingers ghosted over the blooming marks on your skin. Blossoming spots of red and purple, marks of a gentle cruelty that had sent the most beautiful look of bliss to overcome your face. Yet another mark of possession on your skin, but not of chains and binds this time…. Of hatred. But of teeth. Of lips. Of desire.

Possession through the deep rooted need to keep you as her own, but simply to hold. To protect. To love.

“ Tess “ she wouldn’t make you wait any longer. She wanted to keep touching, to commit every single inch of you to memory. But she figured that she’d have plenty of opportunities to do so.

And she would give you anything you asked of her. So she would not make you wait.

Through a desire blurred haze she manoeuvred you to lay down, a blur of clothing making its way to the floor and soft moans as her hands ventured downwards.

“ no no keep looking at me “ she said, her voice as quiet as it had been since you’d lead her up those stairs, coaxing your head up from where you were hiding with her free hand “ that’s it I wanna see you “ you slipped a hand to the nape of her neck, pulling her down to press your forehead against hers with a small nod, lips parted slightly as she moved her fingers in soft circles.

She lost track of time. Of all straight forward thinking. The seconds and the minutes all blurring into a moonlit haze of body parts in her mind. She took her time, breaking you down and unwinding every single knot under your skin.

Nothing else existed outside the four walls of that room, just you and her. The soft lewd sounds of her fingers between your legs, your quiet whimpers and gasps into her mouth, the rustle of the sheets beneath you as you arched and writhed beneath her.

There was something incredible about having you there, foreheads pressed together as she hovered over you, something so… romantic. How your hands held onto her, fingertips warm like they were branding her skin. Isolated in that room in a newer way than she had been used to.

And when she finally brought you to your long awaited climax, she watched you intently. Admiring the beautiful way your face moved and contorted in pleasure, watching your lips part and your legs tremble.

You returned the favour once you’d regained your regular breathing pattern. Pushing her onto her back and leading a trail of soft kisses down her chest and her stomach, settling between her legs and sending her eyes falling into the back of her head.

Her back arching off the mattress and her hand twisting into your hair, relishing in a bliss she hadn’t felt in an incredibly long time.

And then you lay there together. A comfortable silence enveloping the room, only disturbed by the occasional kiss or soft sigh.

Tess’ fingers played gently with your hair, inevitably lulling you into sleep. And she took the time to think.

She realised that in the time she had lived there it was her first night actually sleeping in her bed. She glanced down at where you were sound asleep on her chest, the weight and warmth of you pressed against her keeping away any anxious thoughts that wanted to creep into her mind.

And she didn’t want to escape downstairs, didn’t want to run. To push you away and tell you to leave. That sleeping together was far more intimate to her than any form of sex act could be.

The thoughts didn’t come.

It had taken her meeting you to finally come to terms with what her life was now. And the things that she had done. That in the current climate there were really no good or bad people. Just human beings trying to survive. Do whatever it took to live to see another day. Doing unspeakable things to get by and trying to convince themselves afterwards that they had done the right thing. That they had had no choice.

And that was okay. She was coming to peace with that. She would never fully forget, but neither would anyone else. But that was okay. Because as long as she had you by her side, she was quite content in the knowledge that she could handle it.

That then come spring those flowers you had planted would bloom again and she would let her fears die with the frost.

Everything would be okay.

#I post this reluctantly #because you read anons have been so rude to me lately #unnecessary #tess servopoulos #tess servopoulos x reader #the last of us #tlou #tess tlou #tess x reader #Joel miller #ellie williams #x you #x reader #tlou fanfiction #Anna torv #tlou hbo

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