#until theyre Actually intrusive

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

What is UP moonlight and ire nation, Im being tormented by intrusive thoughts rn, so I have decided to read a chapter of A Court of Mist and Fury and hope they stop when Im done with this. Last time on the Flames and Darkness Liveblog we had Lucien finally finding Feyre and Feyre being needlessly cruel to him until he left again. also, Feyre used her Tamlin-powers to shapeshift herself a pair of wings and I think that was pretty much it, I feel like not a lot happens in these chapters tbh. And yet I always have so much to say to say about them... Whatever, lets get into this

Chapter 48

Is Feyre smelling the other people at this inn having sex? what kinda smells and noises is she talking about

Theyre in a village that consists of just the inn theyre staying at, a tailor, a grocery store and a brothel? I mean presumably theres actual houses there too but that doest seem right. Also, if its as in-the-middle-of-nowhere as Feyre claims, where the hell are they getting groceries and what kind of groceries are they selling

of course theres only ONE BED and its soooooo small oh noooo do you guys think theyre gonna have sex or what

Oh and of course Feyre cant demand that Rhysand sleep on the floor because its too small to even do that theyre gonna have the wildest sex, and by wildest sex I mean theyre both gonna squeeze each other into the bed under the comically small ceiling of this broomcloset of a room and lay on top of each other without moving like a sandwhch made out of just faemeat

I feel like a cape thats cut to fit around these bigass illyrian wings would lose a lot of its functionality tbh, unless it was like, a wrapping for the wings to protect them from the cold, but I dont think thats the case with Rhysand's cape, i think it either just has holes or is some kind of weird shape, but I feel like if your in these harsh winter winds, having a cape fluttering around your wings would be pretty distracting considering how sensitive supposedly they are

WAIT. do we count this cape as a new Rhys-outfit or do we not. Im on the fence because on one hand, he's just wearing it with his usual illyrian leathers and its really just an accessoire, like I wouldnt count what he wore in the CoN as a new outfit just because he wore a crown with his black tunic, but on the other hand, I feel like a cape can really drastically alter the look of an outfit in a way most other acessoires cant. let me know what you think

of COURSE feyre would call the hypothetical painting she would make of Rhysand 'Death on Fast Wings' im gonna commit a crime

'"I love it when you look at me like that. [...] Like there's no reason to run away from my power. Like you're looking at me."' Does this imply that Rhysand identifies with the descriptor 'death on fast wings' because idk that seems weird. then again, he is a weirdo

Rhysand's pronouns are death/incarnate <- thought that popped into my head while I was writing the previous bullet point

By far the worst part about this book are all the sections where Feyre will just suck Rhysand off for a paragraph, she would not fucking say that

'"No, [you weren't afraid of me]. You were nervous, but you weren't afraid. I've felt pure fear often enough that I know the difference. Maybe that's why I couldn't leave you alone."' god, rhysand is such a creepy little freak. and not the good kind either

Feyre is being all like "oh, sure, the bed isnt small but we couldnt possibly both sleep in it without completely getting into each other's personal space, especially with his wings" girl??? tell him to put those thangs away???

god this paragraph is so annoying 'Fae-men were possessive, dominant and arrogant but the men of the Spring Court had a certain disregard [for my wishes] laying beneath the the surface' my brother in christ you have been in two and a half (2 1/2) courts and you know seven (7) fae-men personally

Also, this part where Feyre is like "if I was wasting away and Rhysand just stood by without doing anything about it, Cassian and Azriel would've gotten involved and given him a piece of their minds" is so funny knowing whats gonna happen in acosf, like no they fucking wouldnt! what are you talking about!

Oh man it just occurred to me. this is the chapter where Feyre finds out theyre mates isnt it. Or like, this part whre theyre at this inn is when she finds out, Im pretty sure itll last for multiple chapters

"[Rhysand] saw right through Ianthe the moment he met her." yeah because she broke into his bedroom and sexually harassed him and just outright told him that she wanted to have his children for the sake of power ?? I would hope he would see through that

I feel like theres been this pattern in this book of Feyre only being able to compliment Rhys in contrast with Tamlin and its very strange because you would think that after speedrunning their relationship development and spending about 500 pages worth of time with him, she would be able to point out some of his positives without immediately connecting them to her ex's negatives, but I guess thats too much to ask of this ROMANCE

Like, I forgot if this was something Feyre already said or if this is still coming up but I know theres a point in this book where she's like "I think I just loved Tamlin pre-UTM because I was so broken and traumatized from my shitty homelife that I fell for the first person to show me some kindness" and that is not how their relationship felt in ACOTAR at all atleast in my opinion, but that definitely is how Feysand feels in this book

I really hate it when male characters are described as having "hard muscles" it sounds so unpleasant. im saying this primarily as someone who likes to read about characters cuddling and prefers it when theyre soft for that, but even if we're just talking smut, does having sex with a "hard" guy sound pleasant to you? or, well. you know what i mean

!! NEW RHYS-OUTFIT DROPPED !! hes wearing wide thin pants (even though theyre sleeping in an ice cold broom closet) and a tight cotton shirt, both of unspecified color

Oh yeah, Rhysand is just sooooooo powerful you guys, he needs to constantly use his magic otherwise itll just take him over and turn him into the joker

'Everyone at his Court had a use, some kind of great ability. And here I was, a strange, unpredictable hybrid that was more trouble than it's worth.' girl you are literally fae jesus what the hell are you talking about

Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this part where Rhys n Feyre are telling each other about how they would tear the world apart if they were ever forcefully seperated is so deeply annoying to me

Im not gonna translate the shit Rhysand just said to Feyre, tldr he thinks shes hot and wants to fuck her but the room is too small for that woe is him, and ughhhh. Im struggling to explain this in a way that doesnt make me sound puritanical, but something about the horniness of their relationship makes it feel really gross to me, its not just the fact that this relationship is horny because I can very much enjoy a horny fictional relationship sometimes, but the horny relationships that I usually enjoy are like, warm and pleasant from the eroticism of it all, Feysand is just kinda gross and sticky to me

Feyre's negative self-talk in regards to her feelings for Rhysand and Tamlin feels so forced, like cmon man, you keep talking about how much Tamlin sucks ass and how much better Rhys is for you how are you still experiencing any kind of inner conflict about this

Also, Feyre talking about how she was constantly thinking about Rhysand even before she left the spring court is just, a lie. does SJM not expect her readers to remember anything

Now theyre spooning and Feyre is stroking his wings and Rhysand is humping her and its like, this isnt sexy to me this is just kinda weird

bro how come Ive never seen anyone talk about Rhysand being like "I love your boobs so much, oh, you dont even know how much I love them" thats so funny

The rest of this chapter was just Rhysand fingering Feyre and honestly, it wasnt too bad, with the extreme proximity and him warming her up I can see why some people would find it hot but idk. its still a sjm smut scene and its german which makes it pretty unpleasant for me

#anti acotar #anti acomaf #anti sjm #anti feysand #flames and darkness liveblog

[columboscreens]

i’m always telling everyone who will listen about the Valid Queer Reading of any old port in a storm so i’ve been really enjoying your recent tags! i think it’s so interesting that when the episode starts we see that adrian appears to have the genuine respect of his peers but it def doesnt go both ways, since we also see him unrepentantly spying on them, lmao. columbo’s genuine interest in the thing adrian’s dedicated his life to is definitely what leads to the genuine bond they seem to share by the end, but do you think there’s more to it than that? what do you think it is that makes the two of them click so well?

thanks! i think that part at the beginning is meant to establish just how punctilious and highly respected carsini is at what he does. and like you said that is what ultimately connects the two, the mutual respect for each other's work ethic and dedication to perfection in their life's work.

that quick establishment of mutual respect means that throughout the episode there is, uniquely, almost no animosity between them, save for carsini at the beginning somewhat bristled at columbo's repeated intrusions. but once columbo shows a genuine curiosity about wine, he warms to him very quickly, and instead of bitter spats they have very friendly exchanges; they literally just become Friends. they drink wine together, joke together, explore The Catacombs together. hell, carsini's even glad to be caught(!)--he actually admits he's way more comfortable with the notion of columbo arresting him than he is the notion of having to date his secretary of twelve years. and, of course, he compliments him at the end.

yeah. freedom is getting your crush to handcuff you while giggling and serving you fancy italian dessert wine. we know

the two seem to truly enjoy each other's personalities. columbo gets a kick out of carsini's dry wit and exacting nature, carsini gets a kick out of columbo's...well everything, it seems. even when columbo pretends to close the case and ask him out to dinner (read: A Date, designed to trick him, but still A Date), carsini isn't out there gritting his teeth in an attempt to drive him away. he's genuinely ELATED, he's in a HURRY to get there, he gets MAD when the table is bad and INCENSED when the WINE is bad. he wanted everything about that meal to be sensational. why? not just because he's meticulous, but because that's amore

don't trip over your dick lover boy

waiter this dreamy italian hunk was going to bestow upon me a goodnight kiss until you dared serve him this LIQUID FILTH

speaking of which, i think, too, that the initial bit establishing that they're both italian is important as sharing heritage can sometimes very quickly bridge gaps.

especially when actual prejudice against you was the norm not too long ago

most importantly, these two have phenomenal interpersonal chemistry. you ever start talking to someone and find a rhythm with them so easily that you surprise yourself? these guys are just always on the same wavelength. their banter is subtle, funny, and distinct. theyre so nauseatingly in love with each other that every time they trade shiny-eyed smiles it looks like wedding photography.

so yeah, that's why they're so obviously in love that it sickens me. but don't take it from me...

like them and miss them and even want to kiss them

#i sometimes see people who really dislike this episode but how can you dislike true love... #i also have a little thing in my head that columbo tends to refuse alcohol around suspects except for when he's comfortable around them #and judging by the wine guzzling in this episode... #columbo #any old port in a storm #ask #text #longpost

[oh-my-damn]

so ive always wanted to ask you this question but its so intrusive and personal i never could but like youre always so open about how naughty you are and youre more than down to go nasty on main from the way you answer certain anons and then theres your fics so here goes nothing… what is your body count mandy? Whats your number lol? You seem like quite the connoisseur in the field of sex and im just curious what makes one THAT? 😅😂

Listen

I dont believe in body counts because I dont believe that the amount of partners is what makes you good at sex. In fact, some of the worst sex ive had has been with the occasional one night stands ive had in my life. Some of the best have been with partners i felt safe with and could communicate well with.

That being said, I used to be very free with my sexuality, even though i would still consider myself a prude compared to the stuff i write (lol) because ive never done even half of what they get up to (ive never had a three some or proper anal, for example, even though theyre some of my kinks)

But I come from a family that is very open with their sexuality, especially my mom, which means its always been a very open conversation. Im not ashamed of my sexuality, i used to feel shame, but i found out later in life that things get easier if you just tell it like it is. So i speak openly about sex, masturbation and the fact that I watch, read and write porn.

That being said though, and this might shock some people, I have actually abstained from having sex with another person for almost 3 years (itll be 3 in January lol)

I had a situationship about 3 years back (the last guy i fucked) and I just woke up one morning and decided that the next time I sleep with someone its going to be someone i truly care about and who truly cares about me, because I'm done with seeking physical pleasure that doesnt feel intimate on a deeper level. After that, I also took a break from dating because I got into law school and wanted to focus on that. I used to get very clingy in relationships and then I would lose feelings in the blink of an eye which isnt healthy or good for neither me nor the other person.

So since then, Ive only masturbated lol. Im still waiting until I meet someone who deserves me in that way, and I havent met that person yet.

So yeah. I used to have more casual sex in the past but as I matured I realized that sex shouldnt be driving my decisions or behavior because sex does not equal intimacy and some of my best sexual experiences have been so because of the feelings and intimacy that came with it.

So for now i just play with myself and write really dirty things for you guys to read so you too can play with and enjoy yourselves 😌😌

#mandy answers #sex talks #sexuality #body count

[halinski]

I havent been having blood soaked nightmares every night with the 2 anti-depressant + 1 anti-convulsant combo and I need to like print that on a poster somewhere as a daily reminder bc i already forgot how bad the nightmares used to be (bc the other sleeping problems are exhausting enough). It turns out when you silence a problem IT DOES NOT HELP YOU AT ALL and I'm so glad i actually made a post about it on a secret blog that someone occasionally likes to remind me of it so I dont give up on the meds bc like "well I'm not sleeping well anyway" but y'know at least the bloody horror dreams are only in my memories and in my waking moments now (intrusive thoughts or whatevrr theyre called), and I only have uncomfortable nightmares and not completely berserk ones

This is just a reminder to myself that I am going to schedule like once a month idk so I never try to go off my night meds (2 of the above mentioned meds). Can you believe that i went for 17 years in my life not knowing what real sleep felt like and then went another.... 9 years just accepting that I would never sleep right bc no one believed me until I finally found a person who was like "you have a very weird disorder actually, let's actually try medication"

I keep going back and forth on giving the man some chocolates from the homeland bc ~anxiety~

#it's probably all trauma related #ignore me #srsly this is just a self reminder #feel free to take it as a cautionary tale #medication #tw medication #perscription medication #prescription drugs

[ghoodles]

Spidersona!!

More info below!

- Bitten by a genetically modified spider, not radioactive. It wasnt exposed to any radiation, its cells were just altered while it was being developed in the egg sac

- Southern as hell!! [Thats a constant in all their varients, no matter where they are they are southern]

- She didnt want to be Arachne, while testing out their powers for the first time he got involved in a mugging and it all escalated from there.

- Oscorp /neg

- Wanted to go into alchemy and coding before he got bit

- Has the comics and stuff in their universe, but no actual Spider-Man, up until now

- Their canon event was their house burning down and them being presumed dead. The ring on their casual outfit is from her mom. Everyone is still alive and well, he just.. cant talk to them anymore, at least its.. not the same.

- Organic webbing in legs. How did she find out? He tried to see if he had organic webs, didnt, fell, tried it again, and bam, leg webs.

- Because of being upside-down a lot, they get nauseous easily while being Arachne, and usually keeps medicine to stop it

- They also cannot handle too much heat, so most of their suit is made out an easily breathable material that allows them to cool off

- Multiple earth varients!!

423-A is this one, 423-B is a stocker in a grocery store who accidentally became an anomalous spiderman due to The Spot chucking them into another universe, and 423-C, who was an alchemax intern until she got involved with The Spot and the collider her version of Doc-Ock, Octavia, built. They then sort of ended up becoming like him.

- She views Noir as a father figure, sometimes it slips out but he always covers it up

- Had intrusive thoughts before the bite, got a bit more frequent afterwards

- There is actually a lot of varients of Sparrow in earth-90214 (noir world) and their varients

- Also in earth-138 (hobie's world)

- Neither of them are spider-people though

- Actually scared of animals if they dont know them well. Doesnt matter if its a small bunny, they're terrified

- Doesn't like the momentum of swinging, but it got them to his city quickly, and they cant drive, so..

- Lived in a suburban area about 15 minutes away from their actual city

- Light sensitivity, also has horrible depth perception when hiding their extra eyes

- It took them forever to find a good mask idea

- Was invited to the Society a couple of days after his canon event, which happened a couple of weeks after being Arachne

- Was given webshooters by Peter to try and make webslinging easier

- Also goes by Cherry! (My mom called me this as a joke after i dyed my hair and the name actually kinda stuck..)

- Misses their cats dearly. They know its him, but he cant be there for them.

- Essentially just myself but if i was spider-man

- Doesnt exactly have a living space after their event, considering that theyre 15 and unable to get an apartment due to that fact

- Mostly just chills in the society in the nights because of that

- Stays up till ungodly hours just writing or thinking

- Terrifed of Miguel. Like, genuinely fucking terrifed.

- Doesnt do well with loud noises, especially yelling, at all. Would have their headphones on them at all times, but they burned.

- Gets headaches when things get too loud or stressful

- These headaches can turn into migranes, and on those days she just lays in the society all day and tries to keep themselves still so it can be bearable

- List of flags!

1- Lesbian

2- Asexual

3- Queerplatonic! On the Aromantic spectrum, she wants to do romantic things, but with her friends!

4- Genderfluid

- I didnt add the flag but yes, this means that he is on the Aro/Ace SPECTRUM, he, like myself, can still feel romantic attraction (i think)

- Clumsy swinger with his legs, it can never get the hang of it

#spidersona #im normal guys #cause we love spiderman #atsv #across the spiderverse #Sparrow 'PS' Wilson

[thekillersareeatingtheflesh]

it always bothers me so much when people joke that the writers of like... saw, or other really violent/gory/excessive horror movies have something "wrong with them" or that theyre secretly sociopaths or whatever. because growing up and even now sometimes my intrusive thoughts made the inside of my mind look like a fucking slaughterhouse. i distinctly remember being 15 and having this intrusive thought of something Horrible, gory, disgusting and fucking disturbing, something so horrible that i dont even want to admit that my brain came up with it because i dont want people to think im a fucking danger to society, and then i saw the same exact thing happen in a saw movie years later and the relief i felt in that moment! the sheer blissful relief that this thought had occurred to someone else too, and that person was a normal ass person who wrote movies and whose gory disturbing thoughts actually had thousands of fans, and maybe that meant that i was a normal person too and not a twisted freak. and i felt good about that for quite a while. until my mother, a saw fan herself!!!!!!, joked that anyone who could think up a saw trap is a disturbed and twisted person. and now. well. i dont feel as relieved anymore.

#my love of horror is like that one quote. you know the one #the child weaned on violence considers harm a comfort. or something like that #well a child whose mind is a gorefest considers saw a comfort film. #shut up frank

[gh0st-patr0l]

Man... kinda wild how everyone in the mcyt fambase is So vocal abt nd positivity and ccs being open abt mental disorders, but the Second people like Karl display symptoms of their disorders (adhd in his case) that aren't Cute And Fun- recklessness, impulsivity, lack of awareness towards social cues, accidentally talking over people or not listening because of distractions, etc- a Good Fuckin Chunk of yall suddenly decide that hes actually a bad person who doesnt deserve anything. But no yall are so Woke And Accepting. Kinda Crazy How That Works

#im just. ugh #as someone with adhd #yall love to gush abt how Fun And Cute our symptoms are #until theyre Actually intrusive #and then suddenly it makes us a terrible person #like... yall realize its not all just. zoning out and flapping ur hands #u realize it's a Mental Illness for a fucking Reason right #karl jacobs sweetie im so sorry these ugly bitches are doin u like this- #karl jacobs #dsmp #dream smp #ghost.txt

[tenthgrove]

Would love to request headcanons for LS with a new member who seems to dress very modestly but it isnt until someone notices little tattoos peeking out at their wrists and ankles and neck that they realize theyre covered in them. Theyre just shy to show em is all though

What Do La Squadra Think Of Your Tattoos?

La Squadra x Reader (GN), Platonic/Romantic, SFW

Formaggio- Yeah, he gets you. Formaggio was an adolescent in the sort of circles where idiots with ink guns call themselves tattoo artists and all their friends just believe them. This led to Formaggio getting a couple tattoos that are... not the best. They're not completely mortifying, and he probably makes more of a big deal out of hiding them than is necessary, but it's just very obvious they were done by someone who wasn't a professional artist. Though it's (hopefully) not for the same reasons as you, he completely understands why someone would want to hide their tattoos. He won't bug you about it as much as you expect.

Illuso- Being all about 'natural beauty' (that's a lie, he spends more on beauty products than Prosciutto and Melone combined) Illuso has always waved away the idea of getting tattoos. Naturally, his first instinct is to tease, making untoward suggestions about what the rest of the designs you're hiding might be, but then he sees you're... genuinely embarrassed about this. That changes things. As much as he loves to make fun of his teammates he just feels like an asshole when they don't laugh back, so he stops at once. He never presses the issue with you again.

Prosciutto- It's perhaps unsurprising that the thought of entering a tattoo parlour always gave Prosciutto shivers, but since you're hardly the first person on the team to have them he isn't exactly going to judge. He is a little questioning about why you would even get tattoos if you can't bear people seeing them, but at the end of the day, he doesn't mean any harm by it. If you let him see them, he will give his fair share of complements about the designs, to prove to you he doesn't think ill of them.

Pesci- He is not brave enough to get a tattoo, but that doesn't mean he can't admire yours. He has a lot of questions about how much they hurt and how you chose the designs. Truth is, he's actually a little curious about tattoos and probably would get one if he could get over his fear of the pain. Maybe if you went with him, he might be able to manage it.

Melone- Though he doesn't have any of his own (he didn't think it fit with the rest of his style) Melone can very much appreciate tattoos on other people. He thinks it's a pity if you're so ashamed you have to hide them, and will encourage you to show more confidence. If you let him get a good look at them, he would love to pick the designs apart (accidentally turning the discussion into a full-on psychoanalysis) and talk about what they mean to you. He thinks you're definitely a brave person for getting so many tattoos, and assures you they're all amazing.

Ghiaccio- He was probably the one who first noticed your tattoos. Having a very eager eye, he was quick to spot them when your sleeve slipped back a little and, having no brain to mouth filter, he immediately blurted out what he saw in front of the whole team. Afterwards, he actually feels quite shitty about this because he knows it's wrong to just blurt out people's secrets but... big dumb baby... no brain to mouth filter. He makes sure to find you after and say sorry. He actually likes your tattoos, he was just surprised, is all.

Risotto- He can sympathise with you greatly. He's made about half a dozen visits to the tattoo parlour at this point but for reasons he cannot explain, he likes to keep his tattoos covered. Sure, he'll happily show up to an elite Passione function with his chest bared, lips painted black and hair dyed storm-white, but his tattoos are deeply personal to him and having someone look at them feels... intrusive. He won't question you about yours if it makes you uncomfortable, but if you did want to talk to them, maybe he could pluck up the courage to show you his in turn.

Sorbet and Gelato- While they don't quite see the appeal of tattoos to the same level as some, they'd be hypocrites to dismiss the idea entirely. They have 1 tattoo each and it's very simple: matching half-hearts on one wrist each. They got it in an alleyway in Paris about 14 years ago, which was in retrospect, not the smartest decision, but they still think it's cute. They understand if you want to keep yours hidden, but will show a genuine interest in your designs if you let them see them. They can always appreciate good art after all.

#la squadra #la squadra di esecuzione #la squadra x reader #formaggio #formaggio x reader #illuso #illuso x reader #prosciutto #prosciutto x reader #pesci #pesci x reader #melone #melone x reader #ghiaccio #ghiaccio x reader #risotto nero #risotto nero x reader #sorbet and gelato #sorbet and gelato x reader

[arowrath]

not a question, but rather a command.

Hand over the goddamn c!Ranboo and c!Beeduo headcanons.

OHHHH IM SO GOOD AT THIS ONE

ok . ok. ok. *cracks my knuckles* *stretching like im abt to play a Sport Game*

c!ranboo . he/they or no pronouns depending on the Vibes. doesnt label his sexuality. not a fan of using words to describe himself at all actually and uses pronouns just bc he knows it makes things easier for other ppl

c!tubbo he/they exact opposite LOVES labels. demiromantic + gay. (fuck u *arospecs ur characters*)

both of them r neurodivergent bc i say so (im writing (/thinking really hard about writing) a fic rn abt them being nd and learning 2 accept themselves n each other Btw im so excited) here r my ideas for their nd traits

ranboo is autistic. tubbo is also autistic. i think we should have more autistic rep in media

ranboo ocd. u will know about this head canon if u followed me last week bc my url was ocdranboo, which is a banger.

tubbo adhd. tubbo SO adhd. someone help him

tubbo also dyslexic. cc!tubbo is so it would feel wrong for c!tubbo not to be fhsjhdf

c!ranboo repeats words a lot to try to say them "right," can get stuck saying certain words / sentences again and again until it's perfect. he hates eye contact.

hes very texture sensitive n only likes certain foods for that reason, altho he cant always remember which foods he likes n which ones he doesnt. hes also very sensitive to bright light, both due to sensory issues + from being from the end which is darker than the overworld.

he also sees person to person interaction sort of like a video game and relies on trial and error to figure out how to do conversations "right" (right by nt standards).

in terms of ocd he has more intrusive thoughts n repetition n checking compulsions than anything else, no cleanliness ocd im tired of that being the only symptom thats talked abt. he always goes back n checks things n u can often find him doing things in 3s or 7s.

hes very prone to overworking himself and trying too hard to do things the way he sees as correct which exhausts him and he often works far too long at things like mining because he wants to do them right and he wants to get as many resources as possible (to prove himself to be a worthy partner :') )

c!tubbo is about the exact opposite in terms of getting things done in that he Doesnt. he gets overwhelmed very easily n it's only gotten worse as he's gotten older. he frequently has complete shutdowns bc of executive functioning issues n will just Do Nothing and hate himself about it.

however hes also very hyperactive and hyper focuses easily. any topic that is even slightly enjoyable he will spend hours researching, leading to headaches from sitting in the library trying to read and inhaling dust all day.

he masks a lot due to anxiety n tries to appear as "normal" as possible which is often a train right straight to dissociation.

he scripts out conversations with everyone but close friends and will go blank when someone goes off script- like if he goes to buy two lemonades and they say theyre out of lemonade it takes him quite a few seconds to process it, and longer to try to create a new script with the new decision, which leads to very stressful situations when talking to new ppl

he doesnt understand sarcasm at all, but ranboo, who uses sarcasm a lot as a way to blend in more with neurotypicals, is almost always able to explain what's meant when tubbo misses sarcasm

he also hates bright lights. he and ranboo have dim torches in their mansion with the only exception being the library, where there's much more light to make reading easier

he hates asking for help. hates it, he thinks it makes him weak, but it doesn't, and thats something he's still trying to internalize. he sometimes watches tommy for an example of a friend he looks up to ( :') anon u did not say "sprinkle in c!clingyduo" but I Am Anyway) who is trying to get help for his mental health to prove to himself its ok to do so as well

thinking about ranboo crying and tubbo trying to wipe his tears away so they dont burn him. also thinking about tubbo crying and ranboo wiping his tears and not flinching even though it stings.

ranboo listens to lemon demon constantly because he's cool. tubbo grows to love it even tho normally hearing the same few songs on repeat for ages would drive him mad

tubbo n ranboo keep michael inside to keep him safe but sometimes on snowy nights when theres nobody in sight and hasn't been in days theyll go outside and make snow angels and ranboo always makes sure to wear extra layers so he doesn't get hurt by the snow so he can spend as much time as possible with his son and husband

ranboos special interest was boats for YEARS and then it was mining and the probability of getting different types of materials while mining. tubbos special interest is nukes.

michael autistic + nonverbal. not technically a c!beeduo head canon but he is their son so close enough

ranboo favourite food apple pie. this is very important

ok ive been at it for like half an hour i could keep going but i Wont because this is already quite a bit fjhfks

#/rp #c!ranboo #c!tubbo #c!beeduo #headcanons #dsmp headcanons #ask #dream smp #maybe spare a reblog peepoShy #bbhsmp #text #21txt

[alchemist-shizun]

Hi I quit the tss fandom due to lack of content but apparently there was something up yesterday? Would you be willing to like summarise basically what happened?

Hello! Yeah of course, to be really really synthetic, there was a new Asides episode, but there was a lot of plot stuff that I will mention under the cut to avoid spoilers for other people:

Okay so basically the asides was mainly about Logan and Remus and intrusive thoughts, it was all usual vibe until, in a room left by themselves, Logan snapped at Remus yelling "Stop ignoring me!" as his eyes went orange as well. They just flashed orange and Remus was pleased by that reaction, saying now "we speak the same language"

At the same time, in the other room Thomas was getting angry, which suggests orange side is connected with wrath/anger

It all went by quite smoothly after that, sort of: Thomas got a call from Nico asking him on a date when he thought Nico was actually ignoring him so he ignored the whole thing he was working on with Logan which left the latter pretty disappointed.

In the endcard at first there's just roman and patton happy that thomas got a date, virgil remarked something at patton which shows he's still mad at him, Logan still looks sad/displeased and suddenly you see Janus sitting on a tree (theyre at a sort of park), he addresses the viewer and says something (there's no audio of his voice though), he bites a green apple and then cuts to a frame with a pair of orange irises shining in a black background

It was just so much Logan angst and a lot of orange side hints, it was pretty well executed

#sanders sides #ts spoilers #logan sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #character thomas #nico flores #purp pls stop

[pezpenser205]

"bodychecking" is for sure a term that needs to be put on the shelf away from people who dont have eating disorders nor understand them.

bodychecking is a descriptive term for a specific eating disorder compulsion similar to compulsive exercise. a thin girl doing a little spin in the mirror and "checking herself out" is not bodychecking, despite being similar in phrasing.

bodychecking is a repetitive and compulsive behavior associated with eating disorders and shouldnt be misused as a buzzword. its similar to saying everyone who pops pimples is skinpicking or that you dyed your hair because of an intrusive thought.

its offensive and diminutive to people with those struggles but no one gives a shit when it comes to the term "bodychecking." nobody actually cares about people with eating disorders until theyre either recovered or dead because acknowledging that eating disorders are addictions rather than a crutch in your anti fatphobia gotcha essay is uncommon at best, and uncomfortable for the people making the argument at worst.

everybody wants to use eds to support their body positivity arguments but nobody actually cares about ed sufferers or how theyre diminishing the severity of their problems when they throw around words they dont know the meaning of. please find a better word for what youre saying. "bodychecking" is absolutely not that word. it makes me so mad.

#girl gets accused of bodychecking and its just a thin girl in a revealing outfit #like oh my god. you are so so stupid #tw ed mention #op #fatphobia

[rouge-the-bat]

sorry to say but the op of that 'people support ocd until [x] intrusive thoughts' added on that writing about those thoughts makes them not intrusive anymore, in the vein of being anti- dark fiction. :|

fhskjf thats so stupid? theres a reason vent art is a thing? its a coping mechanism? and entirely safe and healthy at that? why do people act like theyre so supportive of anyone with mental illnesses UNLESS they do certain things to cope with said mental illnesses? "i support mentally ill ppl unless their process through it isnt as clean and pure as i think it should be uwu" is such a fucking annoying take and im so tired of seeing it everywhere

i actually already have the op blocked anyways so, go figure

#i can never escape ficourse huh #anti fanpol #ableism mention #ableism tw #bc acting like coping with your mental illness/trauma through fiction makes you shitty is fucking ableist imo. im so fucking tired of it #''makes it not intrusive anymore'' sir what are you on #(*sir in a general way idk what the ops gender is) #discourse mention

[naturenaruto]

so got an idea from this amazing art by @banana-banshee

✨a jutjutsu kaisen regular kids!au✨

-where curses dont exist and yuji stays in regular highschool and goes to his weekly supernatural club (the friends are okk!!!! they play mock-up curse games like d&d)

-grandpa lives 😌 and continues to raise and help yuji. he still has health probs but yuji chills w him in the hospital and reads/writes manga(he wants to be a writer one day🤗)

-gojo, utahime, nanami etc are all teachers, yoshinobu is the principle, shoko is the nurse, masamichi is the gym teacher😂

-gojo is blind, he dyes his hair white for the lulz, and is the students fav teacher / a jokester, his class is an gaurenteed A as long as you dont tell on him to the principle for all the nonconstructive class trips (strange little excursions throughout the hallways, games in the sports fields, scavenger hunts throughout the school etc)

-nanami went into teaching bc he wanted to help (altho if you asked him he'd just say he just wanted the job security🙄 but he left bc Reasons (hint: a certain fellow teacher may possibly have somethingeverything to do w it) and got a soulless corporate job but missed....the kids👀👀 so he took the pay cut and came back

-megumi and nobara are transfer students. megumi just wants to get away from his family (and the private academy he had been goin to) nobara keeps getting kicked out of schools for fighting/anger issues

-shes encouraged to join the baseball team and meets team captain maki (who has just as many if not more Issues™️ than her)(theyre besties now<3)

-megumi is Severly Depressed and antisocial™️ (his sister is in a coma and he meets a pink haired kid there in the hospital hallway one day whos visiting his grandpa) > pink hair kid™️ makes an Impression > megumi feels goodweird for the first time in Years > phk™️ mentions his public hs he goes to (megumi almost stumbled onto him bc he was zoning out while stirring coffee he had no intention of drinking and the phk™️ was laying haphazardly in the hallway reading some Weird Manga) > megumi decides hes had Enough w his private academy and their soulless elitism and decides to transfer to public school for phk™️ his /health/

-reality of the differences hit him hard tho (ppl actually Daring to talk to him bc the name Zenin™️ holds no meaning here)(him having to choose between responding or looking like a smug asshole)(not being able to use the family name to get out of the work(hes not lazy hes depressed™️)(not knowing how to deal w everyone being interested in him but not bc of his family???? they actually??want to get to know???[him]?)(constantly not knowing if the friendly smiles are real or not)(it gets to be Too Much)(and he almost drops out but a goofy (and vaguely familiar) teacher (where has he seen that white hair before?) manages to convince him to keep trying and invites him to join the club he leads (its an supernatural club)(phk™️ is there)(his prestigious family™️ would never approve of him bein friends w someone w pink hair)(pink hair is Not Classy)(supernatural fiction is childrens fantasy)(he should be in chess or fencing club or some shit)(but this is his choice)(he grins as he walks out of his first meeting)

-todo and choso are upperclassmen + bros w yuji😌 todo tells him abt the baseball team (its co-ed) and he befriends nobara and maki

-megumi would rather sulk in the stands than join a sport™️ but he takes up art and Draws His Feelings (Randomly And Completely Unsupported By Any Evidence Whatsoever his drawings start to turn into panels of a manga👀)

-miwa and momo are galpals (girlfriends,,,,,,theyre girlfriends) and also cheerleaders until nobara shows up and tells them they could use more girls on the ball team

-naoya is the school bully

-innumaki is mostly nonverbal (yuji pulls him into The Friend Group and they all learn to translate the few words he does say)(no one had ever bothered to Try before)(girl kelp😭)

-sukuna is the name yuji gives the voice of his intrusive thoughts; hes getting better at ignoring him(((sometimes)))

-panda is human! its just a nickname bc he wears a panda costume as the school mascot (he wears it around school even when theres not a game tht day🐼)

-kokichi is disabled, uses a wheelchair, is the the club w the others, is a gamer™️ (his username is mechamaru)

-junpei (junpeiiiii😢😭) is bullied alot but one time yuji and megumi See It and Stop It and now theyre all friends uwuwuwuu😭😩😭

-mahito is a creep who crepps around the school with his followers tryin to manipulate and trick students into like his cult or w/e idk i havent figured it out yet (once nanami finds out tho....)

-hanami is one of those extreme environment advocate preachers lol

ahhhhh😅just the basics for somethng i might get to at some point and expand on these bc i rly love regularppl!aus so yeah😬

#jujutsu kaisen #yuji itadori #jujutsu kaisen au #jjk au #my stuff

[neatotothethirddegree]

uhhhhh! i already have a vague idea on what i wanna do for the Paper Creepypasta. UUUUh as much as i want to do a lost episode. nah imma he qwerky. Youre an object. Imma just say a soup can maybe? You work at several minimum wage jobs and live in a shitty apartment. You decide you want to buy a laptop. And to get it cheaper you buy it second hand.

When your computer is finally shipped, turns out the guy who sold it to you didnt wipe it. You, a curious and nosey person, investigate into the photoes and files and shit before you delete them. At first its normal pictures and shit. Cute photoes of some guy and his assumed boyfriend, a couple of funny images, images of Christmases and Birthdays. Then it starts getting strange. It looks like who ever owned this laptop took photos of their diary and put it on their computer. It also looks the images were edited a tad for readability, at leasts what you assume theyre edited for, but why do that for diaries? They’re supposed to be secret? The diary entries themself are pretty sad and weird in themselves. The writer obviously had some issues yet unresolved. They seem to have a boyfriend who loves them and friends, but they always described feelint awful. and guilty. How today was filled with awful thoughts. How his anxiety is getting worse and his therapist’s advice isnt helping but he feels rude to tell her cause it feels like hes being narcissistic. The more the diaries went on, the more frantic and almost scared they sounded. The writer describing awful desires of hurting other people, which at first he thought were just usual intrusive thoughts but the writer actually started enjoying these thoughts and fantasizing about it. Even drawing out a plan. The diaries both seemed excited and terrified. Then there were a couple of images. and a single 5 second video recording. The images are very blurry, almost as if the person taking them is running. A few things are recognizable? Like a majority of the pictures are obviously in a forest. two of them picture a cliff. And there is a person in one of these photos that looks like an old model of a mephone. The video clip shows nothing, but theres audio that sounds like a person walking. It sounds like they’re out of breath. It goes back to diary entiries. Apparently some guy died while he was recording a show at the place the writer lived. The show was cancelled, with no host theres no show, and the contestants are going to be kept at hotel OJ until the writer manages it in court. Writer is a lawyer apparently? Next Diary entry is a month later. This one entry is like 3 pages long. Apparently him, who you finally find out is named paper, and his boyfriend are fighting. Paper is stressed cause of court and his boyfriend is stressed cause hes running a hotel which is now full to the brim with contestants. They’re both very irritable and it seems like they’re fighting a lot. Then the next thing in rhe folder is a 10 minute video. The guy holding the camera is walking and carrying some kind of garbage bag throughout the video. It looks like hes walking through the hotel, occasionally passing by people who are talking but you cant quite hear their conversations. The man in video goes into an elevator, goes downstairs, goes through the lobby to the back of a hotel. The camera guy puts the camera on the ground, facing the dumpster and this is the first time you get to see Paper. He looks like hes stained with some kind of orange liquid? His corners look crumpled and theres small tears along the sides of him. Paper, with great difficulty, throws the large garbage over his shoulder into the dumpster and it sounds likes glass shattering. Paper stands there just staring at the dumpster for like 5 seconds. He stumbles and leans against the dumpster with one arm and he just starts sobbing into it. caring very little to hide it. Its really uncomfortable to look at. After a good amount of time, Paper grabs the camera with an arm, and he looks into it. Guys got big puffy and red eyes. looks like hes been crying for hours. Paper uses the hand that was covering his face to shut off the video. This is when you finally realize, these are confessions. Confessions of murder. The story goes on, but i hit ask limit so. theres the basics. Paper goes on to kill more ppl blah blah blah scary

-🦶

OOOOOOOOOOOOH MY OD. O O O KH . I LIKE THOS. I AM INTRIGUED HOLY FUCK... OO OO O O O O O OO O H

#long post #anon #🦶 #I REMEMBERED THE LONG POST TaG THIS TIME EVERYONE CHEER #tw murder #soup

[littlebluewing]

fr tho ever since i first saw a version of that lightbulb post its been fucking me up i have so many old lightbulbs that i havent thrown out yet and honestly my self control is not the best and im struggling

#blue.txt #brain stuff #personal #i get like #i dont think theyre actually intrusive thoughts but like #stuff like that kinda thing where i cant stop thinking about it and it will randomly pop into my mind and i wont be able to stop imagining i #it kinda thing with other stuff as well so like #its a thing im used to deal with and this isnt as bad as the stuff i usualy get but it always ends up spiralling until either i can distract #myself or my brain switches off and its like #unpleasant #anyways #i see my therapist tomorrow i think im gonna try and explain this to her and shes just gonna be like #what the fuk #not comics sorry #ask to tag

[sir-adamus]

god i just

i dont like volume 4, its the one part of the show i cant rewatch in full

Sun is an unnecessary and obnoxious intrusion throughout, utterly disrespectful of Blakes personal agency, stalking her, invading her space and having no concept of privacy and never genuinely apologising. proving throughout he doesnt understand Blake and never shows any indication of even trying to, then to have that utterly hypocritical rant at her about how pushing her friends away only hurts them when he abandons people constantly on a whim because hes a self-centered fuckhole who only really cares about himself and the amount he extends to others is only ever within the context of himself and the show never seriously calls him out on this (hell in volume 5 Blake apologises to him for... being pissed that he stalked her across the planet and refused to respect her need for space and time away from things). he absolutely should not have been involved in her arc or there at all, we didnt need him to be there for Blake exposition dumping again, and him not being around for her to fucking babysit wouldve freed up more screentime for her to, oh i dunno, actually fucking interact with her fucking parents?!

Tai is a dick. he is just an asshole to Yang, invalidating her trauma and insulting her intelligence in front of his friends, changing the subject when she calls him out on treating her like a kid so he can twist it into her “not being ready”, doesnt even broach the subject of her emotional trauma and PTSD (which she is still affected by throughout volume 5 and 6 because she doesnt start to heal until shes back with her team and Blake specifically), his assessment of her performance in the Vytal Festival was not only wholly incorrect but trying to make a pattern out of two fights (one of which completely goes against his point, because Yang getting angry resulted in her changing strategy and utilising her environment - ie “finding another way around”, and didnt rely on her strength enhancing Semblance because she didnt land a single physical hit, the winning blows were with her gauntlet shots, and his “find another way around” advice is incredibly generic and situational and not applicable to every situation - sometimes there are no good options) is just fucking stupid. he ate up Yangs screentime while she had hardly any input in her own recovery arc, which we hardly got to see any of, and his exit was letting her go be a parent for him again, instead of taking responsibility for his own traumatised kids

because watering his fucking flowers is just so much more important than the two kids he left to raise themselves cos like fuck was he gonna do it

Jaune continues to whine and be useless and then lecture Ruby at the end about how strong she is instead of us getting a moment for her to actually let the armour crack for once and let out how much shes been bottling up on her own terms, Pyrrhas death is treated almost entirely like its about him and primarily just as a stepping stone, stood upon (or i guess, melted down would be more accurate) in order to lift him up without any real consideration for, yknow, that wasnt his stuff and there are two other people on that team who got nothing in their upgrades in regards to her

seriously, what was with that volume and having three of the leads get lectured by a blond idiot about what their character development was supposed to be that volume?

meanwhile Ruby is basically a side character in the quarter of the volume meant to be focused on her and gets a lecture about how strong she is after all shes been through - as opposed to us actually getting to see that resolve in her and how shes dealing (or more specifically not dealing) with everything shes gone through - like, yes, im glad we got Ren and Nora backstory (even if it is primarily Ren backstory), but that didnt need to come at the expense of our protagonist feeling like an extraneous addition to what is supposed to be her own plotline in this arc where the team is separated

volume 4 is an utter chore to sit through for me primarily because of those three and honestly you could cut it down to about half an hour and not lose much of value leading into volume 5 where the plot finally starts moving again (ironically, in the volume most people complain about characters just sitting around and talking, but at least theyre actually doing that, volume 4 was two and a half hours of our main characters pointedly not talking about what they went through)

the only plotline that really goes anywhere and is a result of a main character self-actualising on her own is Weiss and thats because there arent any blond assholes in her household to do it for her

#rwb/y #i needed to vent