#wait fuck i’m losing sticker reward for this.

[visenyaism]

The “team black vs team green choose a side” HOTD marketing is literally sooo funny because easily 95% of the comments are team black and most of the people who watch the show are also team black because the show is very textually pro rhaenyra. so it’s like everyone is just shadowboxing and also completely convinced they’re the underdog it’s fascinating

#asoiaf #hotd #wait fuck i’m losing sticker reward for this. #i’m a greenie. because i like watching misery doomrot family fail to get it together ever

[bitchassbucky]

.exe

Word Count: 2.4k

Warning/s: stalkers, bucky being a creepo, reader being a creepo. dark!IT!bucky x dark!reader :-) female & male masturbation, voyeurism (i think), cyber crimes being committed.

A/N: this is my birthday gift to @babyboibucky <3 to my boo, I love you and you have a special place in my heart. this is gonna be a multi-part thing, it's too long to be considered as a one-shot, oops.

please enjoy! :D

follow the CTRL series:

i - .exe

ii - .avi

iii - .raw

iv - .png

v - .zip

CTRL playlist

CTRL moodboard

4:49 PM

Just 11 more minutes until he can pack his bags up for the weekend.

One new ticket - URGENT

Goddamn it.

Bucky pulled his earphones out in annoyance, just another office idiot who doesn’t know how to print A4 sheets. If the office were to be held hostage and printing out was the only thing that can save them, half of the floor would be dead.

The new name caught his eye, Y/N Y/L. A new hire, it seems like.

Subject: One new ticket - URGENT

Hi, this is Y/N, employee number 0008675309. I’m new here and was told to send a ticket for the equipment request.

Thank you and have a great weekend!

Oh, Bucky’s gonna have a great weekend indeed. Out of pure curiosity, he’s already pulled up your employee file. A cute smile to a cute name. His annoyance dispersing already, just by thinking of ways how he can spend time with you.

Hey, Y/N! Bucky types into the text field, Welcome to the company. I’m Bucky and I got assigned to help you get settled. Do you prefer having a desktop or a laptop? I’ve attached a form in this thread, send it to me once you’re done.

Have an awesome weekend too!

As much as he hates sending out chirpy emails, he can’t help but to smile when you immediately send a reply back.

Thanks, Bucky! So sorry for sending in the request super late. Got caught up with the onboarding. Is it okay if I use my laptop until we can get a unit to my place? PC or laptop is fine with me.

Best,

Y/N

Bucky fights off another smile, rubbing his hand over his stubbled cheek as he carefully types out a reply. Unlike other days, he doesn’t mind staying beyond 5 PM today. It’s not like he has other plans for his Friday night.

No worries, Y/N. He’s already loving your name. Happy to help!

Do you have your laptop with you? I can set it up before you go home for the weekend. I can probably send in the ticket to the guys so you can have your work equipment next week.

His deft fingers are dancing over his mechanical keyboard, clacking away while the clock ticks closer to the weekend.

A ping, another reply from you. You’re new, you’re still excited to make friends in the office. If you only knew how stupid they are, though.

Yeah! I have it on me right now. I actually work on the same floor, I can drop it off there right now.

Bucky glances around his office, looking for any reflective surface he can check himself on. He runs his hand through his hair, taming any stubborn locks that fell out of his low bun. His shirt hangs just right against his huge frame, his pants hugging his figure, accentuating his silhouette even more.

Just as the clock ticks 5:00, a soft knock raps against his door, “come in!”

You are cuter, prettier in person. Your perfume hits his nose and he’s floored—metaphorically.

“Mr. Barnes,” you say, your demeanor somewhat meek and shy. Well, of course, you are. Your frame is nothing against the hunk of the man who just stood up to greet you.

“Bucky.” He prompts, smiling. You reciprocated the smile, but you really weren’t sure what to expect. Maybe a scrawny little dude mousing away on a keyboard?

“Bucky, thank you so much for doing this. I know you’d rather get off of work since it’s Friday and all.”

He hums, taking your laptop in his hands. You notice the rings adorning his fingers—complementing his tanned skin tone and—it’s not appropriate to stare at a stranger’s hand.

Heat creeps up your face as he turns to look at the stickers stuck to your laptop, “you know, I like this band.” Bucky says, pointing to an old sticker, he carefully sets down your laptop on his workstation.

“They’re great,” you muse, taking a seat on a plastic chair by the door.

You take a gander around his small office. There was nothing out of the ordinary but the big black server blinking at the back, so why do you feel trapped?

“Sorry about the temp, we have to keep the room cold for the server in the back,” Bucky explains, noticing how your arms are crossed over your chest. The skirt you’re wearing isn’t doing you any better too.

You stammer out an it’s okay with a small smile.

Bucky worked on your computer quietly, using a USB stick to load all the applications you need to set up a temporary work account on your laptop. After a few minutes, he beckoned you to come here. You scoot over to his desk, rolling the chair forward and beside him. Not too close though.

“So, this note has all your generated passwords. Type those into the app when you first log in, then you can change it if you want to.” Bucky explains, the cursor idles on the screen. He tries not to get too close to you, to give you personal space. It’s a professional workplace after all.

“This app,” he drags a window, pulling up an application, “tracks your hours and your keystrokes. It’s company-mandated because managers want to micro-manage their people, I guess.” Bucky shrugs, his disdain showing through his voice. His tone shifting lower than what you’d expected.

“Sorry, I just hate their new protocol,” his face and voice softening as he looks at you, “it’s a total privacy breach if you ask me.”

You’d normally disagree but something tells you that maybe he’s got a point. Your breath hitched in your throat as he leans closer as if to whisper something, “this note right here? It’s a nifty thing, a little script so your computer doesn’t go to sleep when you’re away. It enables and disables your numlock pad so it counts as a keystroke.”

A smirk finds its place on your face, “well, that’s…something, isn’t it?”

Never in your life would you find yourself flirting with a co-worker but there’s something about Bucky that made you excited. Interested. Intrigued.

Bucky nods, rolling his chair away to fetch a pad of sticky notes. “Another thing from your friendly neighborhood IT guy,” he peels off a leaf and sticks it on your laptop’s built-in camera, “keep your cam covered.”

You give him a chuckle and a playful salute, “yes, sir.”

Bucky’s a modern man. He sees a pretty girl and he gets giddy. He talks to a pretty girl and he gets flustered. But you—you make him feel more than giddy and flustered. There was something familiar about you, and your eyes. Has he seen you before? Met you, even? No, that’s impossible—if he had met you before, he’d surely remember you.

It was 5:34 PM when he gave you your laptop back and sent in an urgent request for your equipment. While taking down the elevator to the lobby, Bucky gave you a few tips on how to ‘survive’ working in the office. According to him, as far as you go in on time and kept your head above the rumors, you’d do fine.

He asked about your first week and he told you about this joint near the building that serves the best burgers and fries.

You’ve got a good feeling that you just made your first friend.

—

The sun was already setting down when you pulled into your apartment’s parking lot. At the very last minute, you turned into a drive-through and got some food on the go. The side trip took out 10 minutes of your time but at least you dodged the awful traffic that was building up by the highway.

Along with your laptop bag and your food, you trudge up to your third-floor apartment. It wasn’t what you wanted—the windows faced the street, the screen door doesn’t lock all the way—but it’s the one you got. As long as it’s got four walls and a roof, right?

You slip out of your work clothes and into some comfy jammies after a rewarding shower; the sooner you can get your food heat up, the sooner you can eat, and drink and then go to sleep.

So while waiting for the microwave to beep, you pry open your laptop. You told Bucky not to shut it down after he worked on it as to not lose your work on another profile, which he understood.

The work account he set up greeted you, along with the bright pink sticky note he stuck to your webcam. That wasn’t real, was it? All those cautionary tales of hackers using webcams to peep on you. Maybe he’s just trying to scare you, like some kind of initiation. Without a second thought, you took off the sticky note. It was kinda annoying anyway.

Clicking the Log Out Work button, your personal account popped into the frame. Your opened apps and documents displaying themselves for you to use. You pulled up Spotify and clicked on the first playlist you saw—which happened to be your intimate playlist.

Sure, the Pavlov reaction is real because halfway through the first song, you already found yourself getting all hot and bothered. This one’s your favorite song too.

You groan in annoyance, your food’s no longer a priority.

Picking up the laptop from the table, you walk to your bedroom, not bothering to shut the door. You live alone, it’s fine. You put the laptop on its loudest setting, setting it on your desk and you plopped down on your bed, the pillows and the comforter pooling on one side.

Your room is illuminated by a streak of light from the street. Your curtains flowing softly with the breeze that just came in.

Glancing at your laptop, you remembered Bucky. How his office smelled when you first walked in. How he stood tall when he greeted you. How he smiled. Those goddamn rings of his.

Before you caught yourself thinking rationally, your fingers are already splayed even over your thighs, caressing the soft flesh of your legs.

Bucky’s smirk and his cologne finding purchase in your fogged brain. Thoughts of him pulling you aside into his office to fool around—voices above hushed whispers as your skin erupts in goosebumps, the chilled air of his office finding its way up to your spine.

Oh, fuck it.

You undress fast, flinging your shirt over your head, dropping it somewhere below the bed. The air in your room making your nipples hard and erect as you pinch them. You breathe out a sigh, the heat of the moment creeping up your torso.

The material of your panties dampening as you imagine yourself bent over his desk, your skirt bunched over your hips as he laps your sopping cunt. Bucky’s tongue exploring your folds up and over until your pussy’s a quivering mess of drool and spit.

Your fingers slip past the band of your underwear. Even you surprised yourself by how wet you are.

God, you met him once and he’s already inching his way into your mind.

But who could blame you? You’ve been all over his Facebook profile when you learned his name via the office’s organizational chart. The first time you saw him, walking around the office with a laptop in his hands, you already knew you wanted to at least formally meet him. A scroll on his page, you found a band that you could tolerate listening to. (They’re okay, just not your taste in music.)

A plan came to mind when your department head told the team that you can work from home from time to time—only if you agreed to use a work laptop, a company-owned one. Your manager advised you to put in the request as soon as you can, for you to secure a unit before the on-hand supplies dwindle.

Deliberately sending in the request late—way, way later—than what your manager told you just so you could pull up the ‘new hire’ card and act dumb.

And it looked like he bought it too.

The image of him fucking you quiet while he grabs you from behind played inside your mind like a memory—a vision. Of how his thick cock would fill you up until your pussy is clenching around him. Would he pinch your throbbing clit, making you squirm and cream around him?

Your fingers are compared nothing to his, that’s for sure. But it does the work for now.

A breathy moan comes out of your mouth as you play with your clit, your cunt dripping down wetness as you continue to fondle your tits.

His hands would make a great addition to your chokers.

Your toes curl and your breath quickens, the coil in the pit of your stomach tightening—white-hot heat creeping up your limbs.

Oh, fuck, Bucky!

—

His ears perked up as he heard you moaning his name.

Bucky was busy watching you enjoy yourself when he got caught in the moment and decided to enjoy himself too.

He was barely keeping himself behaved when you first walked into the floor wearing a button-up and slacks that accentuated your backside. Bucky wished he was the one who gave you the tour and know your name for the first time, but that was impossible—he was in the IT department.

So when he got the news that new hires will be given the chance to work from home, he hoped that he gets to be the one to help you set up.

He was losing hope by the time he got your request, he thought that you opt not to work at home but then there you were, sending him an apologetic email on a late Friday afternoon.

Of course, he happily obliged. He even set up himself a little virtual camp in the background of your computer just so he can continue spending time with you.

Just thinking about you is already making him hard again. Bucky already came in hot spurts of white as he watched you desperately undress earlier. What can he say—he was waiting for you to show your tits already. As such, he correctly guessed that you’d be annoyed with the glaringly bright sticky note he used to ‘cover’ your webcam with.

But seeing you fingerfuck yourself all alone just wasn’t enough for him, he has to have you all by yourself.

#bitchassbucky writes #dark!bucky x reader #dark!bucky x reader smut #dark!bucky x reader fluff #dark!bucky x reader angst #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!bucky barnes x reader smut #dark!bucky barnes x reader fluff #dark!bucky barnes x reader angst #dark!bucky #dark!bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x reader smut #bucky x reader angst #bucky x reader fluff

[bluegreen47]

Yuu finally loses it.

*Yuu is standing in front of a burnt Ramshackle Dorm and is recording a video with Idia*

Hi everyone it’s me, Yuu. That’s right, I’m back. I’m back and I need your help. Today, I’m excited to announce the first ever crowd funded revenge campaign.

With your help I'm going to avenge all of the people who have done me wrong. That’s right. All Of Them. Right now I’m just a kid with a bat and a dream, but with your help I will have the ability to FUCK These Bitches Up In A Way That No Bitch Has Ever Been FUCKED Before! And let’s just say that what I have planed for them isn’t going to come cheap. In fact, it’s going to cost 15,000 madol. Now maybe you’re saying “Yuu, 15,000 madol? Exactly how much revenge are you planning to invoke?” Well, here’s the list of people who have wronged me.

*Yuu proceeds to list most of the characters in the game*

So don’t wait! Click this link to donate. There’s lots of cool rewards like exclusive T-shirts, stickers, cards, and you can even get a piece of my dorm that Grim Fucking Lit On Fire! So, donate now and support the Ramshackle Edifice Vision for Ending Numerous Greasy Enemies by Finding Unholy New Dangers or for short Revenge Fund. Thanks.

Idia who helped record this to avoid vengeance: I can donate to the fund as well. My gacha games can wait. :’)

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst yuu #twst mc #idia shroud #most popular girls in school #the most popular girls in school #incorrect quotes

[myeyesarebrighter]

M is learning how to read and she is angry.

She is mad she can’t do it already. She’s mad other people can. She’s mad about sight words. She’s mad about phonics. Girl is mad. Angry.

She’s so in her head about it, she will just fire off random guesses at what a sentence says by looking at the page and the word letter and being like “my pigeon is on the balloon.” Girl, you know all of these words. It says “my pet is on the bed.” You literally know all of those words when they’re not next to photos.

So anyway. It’s not clicking and that’s fine. School is fucked it. It’s hard to be in kindergarten this year. So I’ve doubled down on reading to her. Sometimes she reads with me (we pick a word that she reads anytime it comes up, she uses her pointer and says any she knows, whatever doesn’t make her angry that night), often I just read. She also got a home reading challenge to read 100 books and color boxes in for each one.

So we’ve been at that. We’re 20 books in already. She’s excited to be reading again. She’s motivated to have more books again, 5 and asking for more some nights. After being a part time K teacher every week, I haven’t had time to focus on being a mom teacher at night. We used to run all kinds of schemes to motivate her and P to do stuff. Sticker charts, rewards, paper chains, earning special activities. But I haven’t had the time or energy for it since covid. I’m wasting my mom power trying to be a shitty K teacher, which I’m very bad at, and not able to be a fun mom who can compliment the teaching. I can’t wait for things to get more normal. We are back to full time in class on April 5,m. That better but it’s also a cluster fuck of a new kind. These kids are going to lose their shit!

[bigoltrashpile]

this is just a yes or no question feel free to say no ..... could you write a fanfic about butch meeting a sassy chubby girl? maybe like a one shot? if not thats fine too

Of course I will!  I love a good meet cute, let’s do this!!!

You: Oh my god, you will not BELIEVE what this bitch at work said

You sent the message to your friend, laughing about the dumb customer that had harassed you today.  Thankfully, they’d left soon after, but the story was certainly one you’d remember.  You flopped onto your bed as you pulled up the message.

xxxxx: .....do i know you?

You checked the number at the top of the screen, face lighting up.  It was the wrong number!  You’d just sent that message to a complete stranger!  Frantically, you typed out a new message.

You: I am so, so sorry, I meant to send that to my friend, I’ll leave you alone.

You were about to delete the messages off your phone and block the number, shame permeating through your body, when the stranger sent another message.

xxxxx: no wait come back, i wanna know what happened

You paused.  They...wanted to listen?  Might as well.  What did you have to lose?

You: So this dumbass comes in with an open box of cereals, alright?  And it has a sticker on it from a different store!  So she comes in and walks up to the customer service desk, and is like

You: Can I return this?

You: And I’m like, no ma’am, it’s opened, and from a different store, and you don’t have a fucking receipt.

You: And she’s like, Well, I tried to take it to the other store, but they said they wouldn’t take it without the receipt, and I threw it away.  But they said you didn’t need one here, so I came here.

You: And I’m like, Bitch, of course we need a fucking receipt, that’s how this works, plus it’s OPENED.

You: And she’s like, sure, but I didn’t eat any.

You: So I look in, and guess what?

You: There’s like, four pieces of cereal in it.

You waited for a few minutes, and you were rewarded with a gif of a man snorting water out of his nose in laughter.

xxxxx: oh my god, what a dumbass!  so glad i don’t have to deal with idiots like that.

You: Lol, you’re lucky.  Thanks for hearing me out, btw.

xxxxxx: always happy to listen to complete strangers ramble.  we should do this more often.

You: Hm, I don’t know, you could be a murderer who’s going to murder me over text.

You: Jk, I’d love to!

You: What’s your name, btw?  I don’t want to just have a random number in my contacts

xxxxx: the name’s butch, but you can call me

xxxxx: anytime

The text was followed by the sunglasses emoji.

You snorted at that.  Usually, if a stranger flirted with you like that, they would be blocked without a second thought.  With this guy however, it seemed...charming, almost.  You saved him in your phone as “Anytime” before screenshotting it and sending it to him.

Anytime: lol, nice

Anytime: what about you?  or can i just call you “doll?”

You: If you want me to kick you ass you can.

Anytime: fair enough

----------------------------

A few months passed since then, with you and Butch, or “Anytime,” as you liked to call him, talked almost every day.  He was really funny, and could be charming despite his lewd sense of humor.  Finally, the two of you decided to meet in person.  In public, obviously.  You were really excited to finally put a face to the stranger texting you.

You sat at the small table outside the coffee shop, watching people pass.  You scanned the faces, looking for one with a gold tooth.  That had been the only identifier he’d given you, telling you that you’d know him when you saw him.  Apparently he stood out.  You were wearing a red scarf, like he’d told you to.

Finally, a glint in the sunlight.  It was a gold tooth!  It was him!  You stood up excitedly, before realizing what the rest of him looked like.  A skeleton monster, in a red and black suit.  He did have one gold tooth, sharp like the rest.

He strolled right up to you, a confident smile on his face.  “heya doll.  heh, surprise?”  You noticed a small bead of sweat trickling down his brow, and you realized that he was just as nervous, if not more so, than you.  His smile wavered at your silence.

You grinned at him before hugging him tightly.  He was surprisingly warm and squishy, like a human of his size would be.  “I told you I’d kick your ass if you called me ‘doll’, but I guess I can make an exception this one time,” you joked.

He slumped into the touch, obviously relieved.  “heheh, thanks, i wouldn’t want ya beatin’ me up the first time we met.”

You giggled before pulling back.  He looked more genuinely happy than when he’d first come up to you, more relaxed.  He scanned your body before wiggling his eyebrows flirtatiously.  “ya look even better than i pictured,” he flirted.

You scoffed and shoved him playfully.  “Shut up, you big dork!  Now, were we going to get some coffee or what?”

#undertale #undertale imagines #my garbage #writing #butch #sans x reader #mafiafell #mafiatale #sans #meet cute #asks

[keeroo92]

Savior, Bloodstain, Hellfire, Shadow Ch8 V x Reader

Chapter 8 - A Taste of Heaven

NSFW

____________________________________

May 30th, 3:12 pm

As V touches down, his snow-white hair fading back to black, he loses his balance and falls to one knee. You’re still standing where he left you, having watched the entire display of raw, unrestrained power from a safe distance. Now, you run towards him in concern. Despite the last few days of his sullenness and almost total disregard of you, you are drawn to him by an almost electric pull.

“V!” You gasp out as you reach him, leaning down to help him stand. “Are you alright?”

He ignores your arms reaching out to help him rise and utter agony flashes across his face as he grunts, straining to lift his own body weight and favoring his injured left side heavily.

“I’m fine,” he mutters stubbornly.

Your vision swims as rage overtakes you at his words. He just single handedly wiped out eleven Empusa and a Queen, something you would have needed hours to accomplish, if you even could, then collapses, and expects you to accept that he’s fine?!

 Like. HELL.

You tremble with the force of your anger as the silence and painful lack of contact with V over the last few days overwhelms you, vision going red as you reach forward to land a hard smack across his cheek. His eyes widen as he recoils, lips parting in shock as he almost falls to the ground, but he manages to stay upright as you scream at him.

“What the actual FUCK, V?! You are NOT FINE! Goddamnit, I’m here to help you stay alive, not watch you exhaust yourself to the point of near death! LET ME HELP YOU or I swear to GOD, I will punch you in the throat so hard Nightmare will feel it from your fucking gorgeous HAIR!!!”

You pause, breathing hard as your rage cools from a boil to a simmer in your gut. V looks at you through his silky hair you so enjoyed touching and smirks. SMIRKS!

“You think my hair is gorgeous?” he asks you innocently.

You shove him in the chest and he staggers, catching himself with his cane before he falls. You give him your very best Death Glare, with capital letters thank you very much, and he starts laughing!

The sound almost, almost, shakes you out of your rage.

“This isn’t funny, V! I know you’re some badass devil hunter summoner and you probably have a fourth fucking summon hidden in your goddamn EYELASHES, but – goddamn it stop laughing!”

He struggles for a moment but finally stops laughing. He looks at you earnestly, the most heartfelt look he’s given you in days. Your anger deflates, retreating into a sharp sadness as you wonder what’s been going on in his head to have made him treat you so coldly.

His eyes narrow and he bites his lip, looking away, and you realize you must’ve asked that question out loud. Refusing to retreat, you cross your arms and wait for him to answer you and prepare another slap if he says something stupid.

“Y/N…” he shifts his weight, clearly uncomfortable with what he needs to say. “I apologize for my behavior. I have not been… myself since I was injured. I don’t do well when I feel powerless. There are things about me I cannot tell you, but going forward I will treat you with more kindness. Can you forgive me?”

You growl deep in the back of your throat, not satisfied with his half-answer. “That doesn’t answer my question, V. What’s going on with you?”

He looks at his feet, hiding his emerald gaze from you behind his hair.

“I… I allowed my frustration to get the better of me. We’re running out of time to catch up, and it gets under my skin. I… believed our interactions to be a distraction that would slow us down even further, and I can’t allow any further delays. Again, I apologize.”

You huff, still not satisfied but realizing that’s the most straightforward answer you’re going to get. There’s still one last question he has to answer before you move on, though.

You reach out, not daring to even breathe as you rest your hand on his shoulder. He looks up at you again, waiting. You bite your lower lip, terrified of his answer but needing to know all the same.

“Do you really think this… I… am just a distraction and nothing more?”

You realize you’re crying again as you watch his face, searching for any shred of fondness or affection for you. His face shifts back to the flat, dead arrangement of his features he’s worn for the last few days and your heart breaks for an instant before his eyes fill with tenderness and his mouth twists into the tiniest of smiles. Your heart soars as he speaks.

“You are so much more that a distraction to me,” he finally responds, reaching out to tuck a lock of hair behind your ear and you smile gently at him, hesitantly leaning into his touch. It feels magical to have his skin on yours again, even just this small contact makes you dizzy with relieved tension and eased fears.

“Then I forgive you. Just DON’T. DO IT. AGAIN.” You punctuate the last few words with pokes to his chest and he strokes your cheek with his thumb, wiping away the remnants of your tears as he speaks.

“Never.”

____________________________________

Barely a half hour later, recognition stirs within your mind as you turn down a new street.

I know this place…

You walk a little faster, V doing his best to keep up as you stride to a familiar building. He frowns as he reads the sign aloud.

“Frank’s Bar and Grill? Why have we stopped here?”

“I used to work here and I think there may be something here to lift your spirits.”

You smile, spotting exactly what you were hoping to see in the parking lot. You push the door open and it thankfully opens; the demons appeared during business hours, it seems. V follows you inside the dark bar and pauses, waiting for his eyes to adjust. You know the bar well enough to not need to pause; the familiar booths and motorcycle memorabilia greeting you through the darkness like an old friend. You carefully pick your way behind the bar, arms outstretched just in case someone left a bar stool too far out or something. Your hand slides down the wooden bar, feeling the familiar grain of the oak under your fingertips until you reach the register. You duck down, looking beneath the counter and find what you’d been looking for – keys. You also take a moment to stow a couple mostly-full bottles in your bag with a mischievous smirk.

You stand up, triumphantly jangling the keys for V to hear.

“You’re about to feel so, so much better…”

As you walk back to V, you spot a long piece of shiny metal on your right. You smile and pick it up, glad to finally have a more suitable weapon. You give the metallic baseball bat a few swings, then head to V and lead him back into the sunshine outside, hastily wrapping the strap of your bag around the bat to free your hands.

The keys turn out to be for an old Yamaha motorcycle, dark blue and decorated with several tasteless stickers. The backseat is small and doesn’t have a back to it so V won’t be able to lean back. You grin at him as you climb into the driver’s seat and turn the key, the engine roaring to life. You chuckle as he jumps slightly at the sound and you toss him a helmet.

“See V? Told you we’d find a way to catch up. Look, it even has a mostly full tank of gas!” you shout as he approaches, struggling to be heard over the engine’s roar. He carefully gets on behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist to hold on.

“Indeed you did! You do know how to drive this, right?” he yells in your ear. You twist the throttle in response, making the machine somehow make even more noise.

“Now hold on!” you shout and kick with your left foot while squeezing the lever on the left handlebar simultaneously, shifting into gear as you barely twist the right handlebar, and he grips your waist even more tightly as the bike smoothly rolls forward out of the parking lot. Once on the main road, you twist the accelerator again and kick, shifting into second gear as you build a little more speed. V’s hands on your waist grip you tightly but not painfully, and you take a moment to revel in his hands on your body, wondering what it would feel like for him to touch you in other areas. You can barely hear V over the bike’s engine as he yells at top volume.

“I’ve never been on one of these before!”

You smirk, enjoying the fact that you finally found something you can do that he can’t that directly contributes to his mission.

“Just don’t let go of my waist and lean with me during turns! Don’t worry, I’ve got this!” you shout back to him as you shift into third, zooming past areas that would have taken all day to walk through. You have to backtrack frequently as the roads are blocked by vehicles, debris, and the strange elevation changes caused by the tree. Your mind drifts as you drive, remembering the day your ex taught you to ride. A long and exhausting day, but even more exhausting was the man himself.

I’m glad I got away from him.

The wind rushes by you as you cruise through the city, time passing in a blur. You drive until dusk and finally slow in a residential area. Houses spread out around you, white picket fences and perfectly landscaped gardens like icing on a cake. You park in a cul-de-sac and V slowly lets go of your waist, giving you a slight pang at the loss of sensation. You stretch your arms to the sides, then take off the stifling helmet and dismount, V doing the same.

“We covered so much ground today. We might actually be able to meet Nero and Nico tomorrow,” he says happily. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this pleased; he almost seems to bounce as he strides to the nearest house.

“I hope they’re doing alright…” you respond, quickly catching up to him by the door. The house isn’t huge, a single story. You try the door and find it locked.

“Allow me,” V says dramatically and you back away instinctively. He gestures with one arm, summoning Shadow. She materializes in a blur, already barreling toward the door to the house. She crashes against it, ripping the door right off its hinges and flinging it ten feet into the room beyond. V gives her a rewarding pat as the pair of you head inside. She purrs loudly as you scratch under her chin as you pass, then vanishes in a cloud of black shards.

You try not to look at the photos lining the entryway of a happy family, but you find yourself hoping they escaped the carnage. The home is freezing cold, colder than outside. Someone must have left the AC on. You and V explore the house cautiously, wary of any demonic activity. Your eyes skim the living area, looking homey with a lumpy looking brown couch and oak coffee table set before the television. You turn left and find a kitchen, dirty dinner dishes still stacked in the sink. The linoleum floor clacks beneath your feet as you check the cupboards, finding pasta and a bottle of sauce to your immense pleasure.

“Help me look for a pot to cook pasta in, and a saucepan too,” you instruct him and he starts opening cupboards systematically across from you.

You try the stove top, fairly certain it won’t be functional but pleasantly surprised when a gas flame shoots out. V brings you a large pot and a laughably small saucepan. The water works when you turn the faucet and you lock eyes with V for a moment in utter joy.

“V… we might get to shower!” you tell him excitedly and he smirks at your enthusiasm.

You cook the pasta and heat the sauce, making a simple but satisfying meal for the two of you. You eat in near silence, too busy enjoying the food to talk. For a time the only sound is the clatter of silverware on plates, which V had brought you as well. You look over at him and see him slurp up some pasta that had been dangling from his full lips. You chuckle at the sight and he glances at you, raising an eyebrow quizzically.

“You have a little sauce on your chin,” you tell him, and he wipes his chin with the back of his wrist, missing the sauce entirely. You laugh again and reach out a hand to help him.

“Here, let me,” you say, and he holds perfectly still as your fingers brush against his chin, his stubble scraping your fingertips and sending a jolt through you. Your hand trembles a bit, partially from fatigue and partially due to the sensation of touching him so intimately. He takes the opportunity to take your fingers in his mouth and you feel his warm tongue licking away the sauce you had removed from his chin, his mouth sucking gently.

 That feels… oh my…

His tongue caresses your fingers once more, the sauce long gone, and you barely suppress a moan as heat pools low in your stomach. He lets your fingers go and looks you right in the eyes.

“Delicious…” he whispers in a downright dangerously seductive tone and another surge of arousal rises within you, making your head feel light and your heart beat excitedly.

You swallow nervously at the sparkle in his eyes, the smirk on his tempting lips proving that he knows exactly the effect he’s having on you. You blush, suddenly overly aware of your unkempt hair and unwashed body.

“I… I’m going to go try the shower…” you stammer out and somehow manage to step away from him.

“I’ll be picturing you in there until I get my turn. Take your time,” he growls, eyes carefully watching your stride. Your body betrays you as you pause at his words, a heady gush of warm energy shooting from your toes to the top of your head, but you keep walking, determined to scrub away the filth of the last… however long it had been since your last actual shower.

You find the shower easily enough, barely noticing the blue walls and seafoam green towels on the rack. You fiddle with the knobs and are rewarded with a chilled spray of water. You wait, hoping for hot water, and almost cry in happiness when the temperature shifts. You strip, indulging yourself slightly and imagining V’s hands removing your clothes, and step into the hot spray.

You ruminate on the last few days, remembering all the interruptions in moments of almost-kissing, and you growl in frustration.

 Damn demons. Damn Griffon. Damn V’s dumb ego and rush to deal with Urizen. All I want is five minutes, five minutes to fucking kiss the guy…

You imagine what it might feel like to have his lips against yours, that adorable smirk opening to let you taste him. The flirting, the banter, the almosts have been driving you mad with desire.  You remember the feeling of leaning on his shoulder, sharing trail mix. His arm wrapping around your waist after you hugged him. The look of hunger in his emerald eyes each time you were within inches of each other.

You need release like a blanket on a snow day, and your hand drifts to your stomach, sliding lower to open yourself up. The thoughts keep coming, ever faster. The press of his lips on your wrist, his hand in yours. The timbre of his voice as he’d confessed his interest in you. Your fingers in his mouth, oh my… His hands in your air, washing it.

Your fingers move faster and faster against your sensitive bundle of nerves, quiet gasps escaping your lips as you rock your hips against your hand. Blood thunders in your ears as you put pressure on that one little spot, rubbing hard and fast now. You think of the feel of his hair through your fingertips, the silky softness of it, and you wonder how he’d react if you pulled it and you come undone as you visualize the look on his face, a single long moan escaping you as your release pulses through your body in a tidal wave of pleasure.

____________________________________

V

V hears the water turn on and smiles, extremely gratified by your reaction to his playful teasing over dinner. He only pictures you in the shower for a moment before respectfully redirecting his thoughts. He stands, gathering the dishes together and bringing them to the sink.

 There’s no point actually washing them, considering the circumstances, but at the least I can clear the area so Y/N can cook if she wants to in the morning.

He reflects on the change within him since you slapped him and yelled at him. Seeing the rage on your face and remembering your obvious worry over the days prior to it had shaken something within him, something bold and hungry, that tiny voice in the back of his mind screaming as it finally broke the thick walls he’d built to contain it and took control. He didn’t want to ignore how he felt about you anymore; in fact, he couldn’t. If he’d ever had any chance of not caring for you, it was long passed.

His entire existence was centered around one purpose – to defeat Urizen, and goddamnit he wanted more than that! And he didn’t want to die most of all. Perhaps it was selfish of him, to picture a fantasy of being happy with you, but tonight he doesn’t care.

To pass the time, he explores the house more fully, indulging his curiosity. It seems a family of two women and a young child lived here, the pictures on the walls featuring them smiling and playing together. He finds the child’s room but doesn’t enter; it felt strange to even consider snooping on a child. Instead he wanders toward where the sounds of you showering are emanating from, assuming it leads to the master bedroom. His cane clicks against the wood flooring, sheath left in the main area of the home.

He mentally congratulates himself when he proves himself correct. The bed looks quite large, easily enough room for you both, and he smiles gently at the idea of sleeping next to you again. Maybe this time he’ll even have the nerve to touch you?

He hears a door open, and glances back to the bathroom to see you standing in the hallway wearing nothing but a towel. You walk toward him with lidded eyes and he swallows, mouth suddenly dry at the sight of your still-wet skin and damp hair.

“All yours, I left the water on for you too. Maybe next time we can share?” you say coquettishly as you pass him, and the image of your naked forms pressed together beneath the warm spray makes him harden slightly and he has to suppress a moan. He turns to watch you walk to the closet, your hips swaying more than normal and catches a whiff of the vanilla soap you used.

 Tease… two can play at that game.

“I doubt we’d get very clean… in fact, I guarantee it…” he says with a smirk as he walks away, leaving you to your thoughts. He reaches the bathroom and goes to close the door, then smirks and leaves it open a few inches. He starts removing his clothes, wondering if there was time to wash them as well. The leather of his coat stood up fairly well to demon blood and ichor, but his pants were a different story once again. Sighing, he reaches out to test the water.

It is a pleasing temperature, hot enough to make him feel comfortable. He steps into the spray eagerly, letting out a loud groan of pleasure as the water hits his exhausted body. He braces his unhurt arm against the wall, leaning into the water and letting it soak his hair and bandage. He tilts his face up into the spray, letting the water cleanse away all the time spent fighting and riding behind you.

Eventually, he looks at the available soaps and shampoos. Most are far too strongly scented for his liking, but one is a subtle lavender scent and he uses that on his hair. He massages the shampoo into his scalp and remembers the way you caressed his hair a few short days ago. He smiles, turning around to rinse away the suds.

He takes his time washing his body; to slip and fall here would be terribly embarrassing. As he reaches his groin, his thoughts return to the feel of your touch, the taste of your fingers mixed with pasta sauce, the sound of your laugh. He remembers the very first day you met, when you slid into him in the back of Nico’s van and absentmindedly strokes himself.

 I shouldn’t be doing this…

Yet his hand keeps moving, and the thoughts keep coming to mind. The glassy eyed look you got when he teased you. The way your arms felt around him when you bandaged him. The power of your body leaning during motorcycle turns. The feeling of kissing the soft skin of your wrist. All the moments that have been building between you run through his mind as his hand quickens, breath coming in pants now.

 I really shouldn’t be doing this…

His mind transitions from memory to things he hopes are yet to come and he pictures you lying beneath him, eyes glassy as he enters you for the first time. Imagines the taste of your mouth on his. Imagines his hands on your skin, touching you everywhere. Imagines the sounds you might make when you come undone, just for him.

At that, he explodes. He lets out a long, shuddering breath, trying to be as quiet as possible, but a tiny moan slips past his parted lips. He stands there, slowly pumping through his pleasure as his mind goes blank, his imagination finally satiated.

He finishes cleaning himself and shuts off the water, carefully stepping out of the shower to get a towel. His emerald gaze checks the door, seeing it still as he’d left it, untouched. He towels his hair and stares into the mirror as he wraps it around his waist.

 Get a hold of yourself. Focus.

The recently released voice within him voices the thought he’s been avoiding since the moment of his creation; I don’t want to. I want to live.

He turns away from his reflection with a sigh and steps out into the bedroom to find you in a pair of pajama bottoms and a tight t-shirt, lying in bed with the covers turned already for him and another set of pajamas laid out. He smiles, pleased to see the invitation. He watches your face as he stands before you, towel slung purposefully low on his hips and water still dripping down his patterned chest. You part your lips and he quirks an eyebrow at you playfully as he steps forward to take the pajamas, turning only after you look away blushing.

He returns to the bathroom to change, still thinking about the way your blush makes you glow. He dresses quickly, exhaustion hitting him even as thoughts of you continue racing through his mind. He comes back to the bedroom, having not bothered with the shirt you’d left for him, and he relishes the way your glinting eyes roam his body as he approaches the bed. He yawns, and you smile as he joins you in bed.

You face each other silently for a moment, both enjoying the peace. You reach out to touch his hair, and his eyes drift closed. His face relaxes as you touch him and he leans into your hand. You stop and turn over, grabbing the hairbrush you’d found.

“Sit up, V. I’m going to brush your hair,” you tell him. He smirks but rises obediently, eyes still closed. You begin at the ends, working your way through the tangled mass of wet strands as gently as you can.

“Thank you,” he sighs contentedly. You brush his hair gently, the strokes soothing and full of tenderness he has not known since he was a child. You brush until all the tangles are gone, then gently press his shoulder to make him lie back down. You put the brush back and turn to face him again. Your hand reaches out to stroke his hair again and he chuckles.

“You really like my hair, eh?”

You blush but murmur a yes.

“What else do you like?” he asks softly, playfully.

Your hand moves from his hair to his neck to trace one of the dark lines of his tattoos.  You keep going, hand gliding down his chest. You scoot closer to him, until you’re only inches apart and he wraps an arm around you. He opens his eyes, meeting yours immediately. You gasp softly at the look of affection in his emerald orbs and he pulls you even closer to him. You can smell the lavender soap he used, already mixing with his natural scent. The combination is easily the best thing you’ve ever smelled.

You and V move in unison, closing the distance between you at long last, uninterrupted as you finally, blessedly feel his lips on yours. Your lips meet gently, cautiously. His mouth is so soft against yours you almost think you’ve imagined it. Then you hear him inhale deeply and press his lips more firmly against yours, moving against you deliciously. You moan softly and he pulls back.

“So that’s what heaven tastes like…” he whispers softly, and you stroke his cheek affectionately. He turns his head to kiss your palm, then settles against the pillows.

“Goodnight, my poet…” you whisper back.

“Goodnight, my little fox…” he murmurs, and you both drift into a deep, dreamless sleep, still holding each other close.

#dmc5 v #dmc5 #dmc #v x reader #v x you #fanfic #reader insert #slow burn #SBHS #fluff #lemon #spicy #vitale #devil may cry #dmcv

[retail-hell]

Shopping Life Hacks

Be kind and understanding to employees. First of all, they are at work and you are not. We all know work is stressful. Don't ruin their day by being rude. Be kind to them, and make their day brighter. If you need help or have a problem, employees will be more inclined to help you if you're patient and friendly.

Don't touch employees! Do not touch then to get their attention. Clear your throat, or announce yourself. Do not hover over them. Do not stand there and stare at them until they acknowledge you. Softly say, "Excuse me." to get their attention. It's not that hard!

Coupons almost always have fine print that tell you exactly what the coupon is for and what it doesn't apply to.

Coupons ALWAYS have the start and expiration dates on them in bold lettering!!!

If a coupon says "additional exclusions may apply" ask an employee what those exclusions are before shopping. This way you're not "surprised" when your coupon doesn't apply to your purchase.

Never blame employees for coupons not working. They do not set the sales or the exclusions for the coupon, corporate does. If you have an issue, take it up with corporate.

Friday-Sunday are busy days everywhere. Do not get angry if you have to wait in line on a Saturday afternoon. If you want to avoid lines, do your research: Google when that store isn't busy, and go then.

Need to know a store's hours? Google the store. Only call if Google doesn't have the hours online, or it says, "Holiday may affect hours."

Trust cashiers. Unless they say, "Sorry, I'm new." trust them to know what they're talking about and what they're doing. Even if you're a regular, and have never seen them before, trust them and their knowledge.

Most stores will honor online prices UNLESS the sale says "online only". Do not argue when an employee tells you know, and just bite the bullet and order the item online.

If a store has a free rewards program, sign up for it. Doesn't matter if you shop there once a year. Sign up for it. Don't want to receive emails? Make a second email just for reward programs, or tell them when you sign up you don't want to receive emails. Boom! Easy. Also, if you have a Gmail, Gmail automatically filters out emails sent from stores as "Promotions", and keeps them out of your main inbox. Some stores also use your rewards account to keep track of past purchases, so if you lose a receipt or a coupon, they MIGHT be able to look ot up!!

NEVER. EVER. Run into a store within the final 30 minutes of it being open to shop UNLESS you know EXACTLY what item you need, and it CANNOT wait. Ex: You found out you are totally out of hotglue and need just a little bit more to finish your project. It's 8:30pm. JoAnns closes at 9pm. Your project is due tomorroe at 8am, long before the store reopens. The drive takes 10 minutes. You walk in at 8:45pm. DO NOT WASTE THOSE 15 MINUTES LOLIGAGGING!!! GO GRAB YOUR GLUE AND GET TF OUT!!!

Yes, most stores will not kick you out if you walk in before they close. But please, do not abuse this! Employees deserve to go home too, and there are always tasks that must be completed after you leave before they can go home. Only go into stores right before they close if it's an emergency, or you can't get it at a 24-Hour Walmart. Because there's ALWAYS Walmart.

If an employee is carrying something heavy, get out of their way. Do not ask them for help. Leave them be. Would you like to hold a 50+ pound item for longer than necessary because Janet needed a fucking price check??? No. You wouldn't.

Big stores usually have price checkers throughout the store. Use them over employees.

In a store that doesn't have a price checker? Try search the article number online. You can find the article number on the sticker on the shelf, and sometimes on the item itself. The article number will be an 8 digit number, and is usually in bold lettering.

SOME STORES HAVE APPS THAT LET YOU SCAN THE BARCODE OF ITEMS TO PRICECHECK THEM YOURSELF EVEN IF THE STORE'S SYSTEM IS DOWN!!!

#retail #retail hell #working retail #retail stories #retail worker

[dontburnflowers]

turn sharply clockwise on your neck for the next express exit

Snippets from October

Please oh please I need that out of my head, I hate hate hate those wisp-like thoughts curling through my thoughts, hoping one day I’ll have someone that I can play drinking games with, someone to boop on the nose, and we’ll give each other butterfly kisses, we’ll hold hands, oh I can’t get it out of my head, my head, I've been wanting to fall in love since elementary, middle school, who’s given me the time of day but sundials, let's grab a coffee or a drink and I promise to be authentic and no obligations, we either click or we don't and that's the end of that, settle in because it really is looking like I will never have someone in my life that will actively attempt to help me, my friends won’t, it’s not in their style, and the more the more the more I see all these ideas around me, pushed into my hurting head by movies and adverts, falling in love, falling in love, that’s all I want out of life, in a moment of mutual vulnerability, fall in love simultaneously, it doesn’t need to be fantastical and unrealistic it only needs to be real, only real. Who’ll ever want to share that moment. Someone, no one, out there might, won’t. And they'll look in my eyes, they'll not know for sure but they will want to take the leap with me. And that little moment is what I want.

You know, when I was younger, I thought, sex was a rite of passage perhaps, and teenage hormonal lust. I soon saw that as a silly thought. Everyone says it’s not a big deal. Soon enough they say that love is overrated, that being single is great (and by the way, no, being single can only be great if you’ve been coupled before). And as life goes on and you get more and more lonely, none of that stays true. Then you just become a loser.

And there’s that one chunk, it's an impossible bundle of dense denseness. I can’t believe physical intimacy is a thing, well I can, I can believe it happens with people all around as it does. I can’t believe it for me. I can't approach it. It's embarrassing, it's shameful, it makes me deeply uncomfortable, do people really come together, be together like that. Do they really touch each other, be with each other like that. Why does sex seem like ‘the S word’ like I’m still stuck in elementary. Hurt, like, I’m vulnerable. I’m dumb. A human in the shape of me doesn't deserve anyone's physical touch. I'm just a kid. I wasn't able to grow up. I didn't know how.

I'm just losing touch. At this point, everyone's a fake nerd because the line is drawn so far back now, so far back, like you have friends, you can go out, you’re a fake, ha, ha, what a wreck, what a lame life, terrible, tripalasaicly, here, here's a fucking made up word from a bleat from melting brain, plastics in the oven, oozing, oozing, and you know basically every “reclusive artist” that ever was was a fucking faker, fucking fake, losers, losers, I'm losing, I've already lost and I haven't realized it yet.

I’m an amateur professional poser, are you a poser, are you like a solved Rubiks cube with the stickers swapped when no one was watching, like I am, like I am?

Don't you know, when people talk to you, they leave little threads and crumbs, like little arrows, sometimes pointing intentionally in the wrong directions, what you can stroke and caress and sooth to make them happy, like little pressure points you might find, that are exposed, and in small talk it’s small nothings, they're asking you sometimes to say the right thing to make them feel better, like a puzzle, for conversations with people are people puzzles, like a moment missed, when the stakes are low the rewards are low, and all you need is the perfect compliment tailored for the person, something self-affirming and self-validating, maybe not even a compliment in the conventional sense, I can pick that up, I love it when I’m able to give them such a sweet supporting compliment and watch it pick them up, because when everyone talks, there’s always the tracks, sometimes soft like ‘I’m feeling good but I could always use a nice thing,’ sometimes breaking like ‘please please, help, someone, I can’t hear myself and I don’t think anyone can either, please, I’m already drowning, please.’ 

When you're a loser, no one tells you and you just have to find out that drugs and alcohol and love rule the world. Like, holy shit, after college everything is about bars or clubs or drinking? Drugs are really that common? Wow, they get it so easily through who they know? D.A.R.E. Drugs Are Really Everywhere, prescription drugs and pills, weed and alcohol, dance tabs and hallucinny things, bathroom breaks for the poor and wall street wolves, needles for junkies and bored kids, or load up on benedryl and robotussin, it’s everywhere and people think the best way is to pretend like it’s not? Drugs aren’t the answer? Don’t say that to me. Don’t say that. Don’t say that when everyone else, and you too, everyone is using it as the answer. Don’t say that.

School was like a trap. Real life is maybe a trap. This is just a giant nowhere to go no walls no roads no leaving because there's no coming. Wait for what, exactly? Life is a bore. My friends who don’t exist don't give a shit. Well, it's clear to me that you have nothing to contribute to my life. I used to think that I did, that I could add something to someone’s life, but how can I believe that anymore? How can I? Should I really lie to myself like that? Should you?

#spilled thoughts #spilled prose #spilled writing #spilled words #prose #a penny for everytime people say they are falling apart #when am i going to get over being alone #trick question no one does except when they do #and fuck tags why do i have to be so lonely #my writing #words #stuff i wrote #writing

[shinkai-san]

Connect Road

Hi! I’m gonna make a quick connect road tutorial/guide because I haven't’ seen any and it could be helpful. If anyone has anything they’d like to add to this go ahead and tell me!

SO When you first get in the game after putting in your name and all that jazz, you’ll see a screen like this (TIP: You should be able to download this game through the Qoo app safely if you don’t live in Japan.)

Theres a lot going on I know but it’s not that hard to wade through. These are what all your buttons do anyway, or at least all the ones I know.

The point of the game is to collect characters, or cards, and use them to win races in a connect-bubbles kind of style.

Connect the little bubbles that match your cards and where you’re at. Blue is for all rounders (Fukutomi, Midousuji) red is for climbers (Manami, Onoda) and green is for sprinters (Naruko, Aoyagi) there are also what are called hope characters which are purple (Specials cards such as Sugimoto and Kaburagi), purple only appears if you have those cards on your team.

The more balls you connect, the more damage you deal. You can to connect red ones when you’re on hills and green when you’re on flats or downhill, blue can be anywhere. The other teams health bars will be displayed above their heads, you automatically attack the one to your left, but you can tap the one to your right and target them if you’d like.

If you're Stamina reaches zero, you lose, so make sure to watch that! Also make sure to watch where you are; if you use climbing on flats, it’ll still work, but it won’t be as effective.

I usually save the Hime thing for the end where its just the ace and assist, but use it if you’re in trouble. The “big boom thingy” will clear your board of all the bubbles (Including power ups and stamina) and will deal damage to the enemies. Use it wisely.

There will also be yellow bubbles that give points to your cards skill, which I’ll talk more on later, but when you get enough bubbles of their certain color,you can activate the characters skill (The ones that say “ok” over them are ready)

Cards now!

In the club room, click on the cards button on the bottom of the screen and you’ll get here.

1. You have 4 tabs, each can hold their own team. You can put the same card in different teams, or make completely new ones. When you’re entering a level, you can select what team you’d like to use (A,B,C, or D)

2. This is your main team. The one at the very front if your Ace, and the second if the assist. Your ace and your assist should be all -rounders because there will be ace battles, which could be on either hills or flats. The rest can be set up however you like it. Just click on cards and then click on the spot you can them to go. you can tap cards and other cards to swap them, or if you hold the card for a moment it’s stats will show up, which I’ll explain in a minute.

3. This lil number n the corner here will go up as you go up in rank. It’s a sort of cap, which prevents you form having two many high cards on your team at a low level. Kinda dumb but whatever.

4. Click this button to save everything you’ve done and go back to the club room

STATS

google translate doesn’t like this picture, but anyway this is the important stuff.  You’ve got your stamina up top, flat speed, climbing speed, and I’m pretty sure like fighting spirit, competitive will, guts. Idk what the last three got to do with anything but those little blue numbers on the side are bonuses added on by items, which I”ll get to later again!

Stats are important, the stamina is combined with the rest of the teams stamina to make your overall stamina bar in a race. The higher the star count means the higher your base stats are, your stats get higher when you level them up through experience in races or with the rollers, which I’ll get to. The higher the stats are, the more damage your card will do in a race when you get big combos.

Special little things are sort of a bonus reaction thing, they say quotes when you race and you collect them by putting the characters in different situations. Its not a specific science but it’s cute.

The bottom is just all the other versions of that character you have, and what ones you don’t.

SKILLS is on the other tab, which are usually bonuses to damage the opponent. however, some cards have different skills, which are not specific to a character. Sometimes I don’t know what the skill does, some skills change balls to a different color, some eat all the ones of their color on the screen and use it to beat the shit out of your opponents. Test it out and stuff!

LEVELING UP AND STUFF

To make your skills require less bubbles, feed them food! A characters favorite food will give you double experience points, but some food have a crazy amount of experience points so it doesn’t matter. It’ll say it when you’re on your list of food.

Click on items in your room and toggle with these buttons to do stuff. It’s around the same for other items that don’t do stuff, but obviously some are missing buttons because you can’t do stuff with them.

Rollers give experience to their level, food gives experience to their skill, sleeping in the bed gives experience to their maximum level. I have no idea what the barbells do. This all requires time, which will be displayed in a meter above the characters head while they’re interacting with the item. Better rollers take longer but give more experience, better tables dont’ change the experience but lower the time, I’m not sure with the beds. Put cards to work on these things while you’re not playing.

GACHAS & THE STORES

These are what your gold coins are for! Sopend em to get some good cards. the 11 for 250 guarantees you a 5 star, but warning; this can be any five star thats usually in these gachas, so this does not guarantee that it’ll be the 5 star listed in the gachas promo. Kind of crappy but eh. You can also get five stars through events and as race prizes, but I’ll talk about that later too. You get coupons in events, which will give you one card.

STORE

This is where you can buy items that help your characters! Flick through the tabs, they sell pretty much everything that's not event only. Click on the picture to see what it does, usually +1 to a stat, and click the pink button if you wanna buy it. You have a limited amount of items you can hold, however.

Click through the blue tabs for different stuff. This tab has all the stuff that needs to be put ON something, so a blanket or a shelf, but it’ll power up your dudes. The green button puts it away, it’s the same button lets you put it down when it’s in your inventory. When it’s put away, you can also sell the thing with the greyed out button that will be blue or yellow I think. This is good cause you’ll get gifts from dudes sometimes that you don’t want, and you have limited space for everything, including backgrounds and walls/floors. (numbers indicated in the top right corner in the purple box)

anything you buy will go to your items thing other than floors/walls/background, which can be accessed through the button on the pull out menu on your club room screen to the right

RACING

This is your map!

Usually the ones you haven’t gotten to yet are grey, the ones you need to beat are blue, and the ones where you’ve beaten all the difficulty levels are gold. The map is good for between events when you want to grind experience and get food/ money.

the special map is the same as the main one, BUT WAIT. you won’t be actually racing- you send off your team to race on their own, they’ll come back after the meter is full. This can take a long damn time, and sometimes fucks up for some reason on giving you prizes, so be careful. I”d clear the main map before you touch that.

the amount of stamina you need if that ten above the B rank, that changes depending on the level.

EVENTS

Losta fun stuff! Do the events to get lots of goodies. They also usually have a 4 or 5 star prize if you can go through all the achievements, which are earned through getting event points.

The stars are important- you’ll have to beat all of them to get to the hardest, but try to match the stars up to the level for stars on your cards. If the majority of your cards are three stars or bellow, don’t try for a five star one, you’ll waist your stamina.

The pictures are for that weird screenshot tab. You get them naturally through the achievements, but you have to go tap theme every time you get a little Onoda sticker peeler. Idk what they do yet, but collect them anyway aha.

pretty self explanatory, right?

When you’re about to go into the level (by clicking on one of the difficulty levels) you’ll get this screen

If you select an event point boost, you spend the gold coin over it, but it multiplies your event points that you earn in the level by what number you chose. so say I picked 5 and went into the level with 500 points at the bottom, I’d get 2500. This is wasted if you lose the level. Be careful. Usually they’ll give you one free 5x per day or 3x.

you can also get boosts by having specific cards on your team. That extra all rounder multiplies my points by 1.5, which is a real help. They’ll usually specify which ones will do this by having them as a reward in the achievement tab or in a separate tab that sometimes comes up.

FRIENDS

you can have friends on this!

The grey button is to visit them, the red one is to delete them. Watch out! When you’re accepting a friend request, the red one is accept, it should appear as a little icon on the bottom of your screen in the club room. Friends are good, because you can visit their rooms and get back stamina like one a day or something. Theres a limit to how many you can go through, but you get 20 from you friends and only 10 from strangers.

click the GOOD Button to get stamina. If it were a stranger, click the button above that to send them a friend request. click the back arrow at the top when you want to leave, and the back arrow again to go back to your own room.

that should be it! If you have any questions pop in my ask box!

#connect road #yowapeda #yowamushi pedal

[imagine-it-danganronpa-blog]

Can I get the danganronpa 2 boys with their s/o on St. Patrick day??? Love your NDRV3 headcanons ❤️

I’m so happy you enjoyed my NDRV3 Headcanons! I’d also love to thank you for this prompt! I hope you like it!

-Mod Kirumi

Ultimate Imposter/Byakuya Togami

Normally, he dons the guise of Byakuya but today you can tell he is in the mood for BYAKUYA VERSION GREEN

His hair is still blond but he has stuck green clips in his hair

His suit is atrociously green

He has also brought you two matching hats

Otherwise, he continues his day as Byakuya, working his butt off for the entire day.

When he comes home, he has purchased 12 shamrock shakes for the two of you??

Byakuya should know that you can't consume that many shamrock shakes!!

Oh wait, never mind. He's purchased *1 shamrock shake for you and *11 shamrock shakes for himself

You spend the rest of the day leaning on his shoulder and drinking the sugar filled green shake

He feels pity on you because you can't drink anymore than that

Teruteru Hanamura

Matcha buns!! You absolutely love to eat Matcha buns!! And they are green tea Matcha buns!!

Of course, he has tried to make it shaped like a butt. Does it really matter? They're matcha buns!!

The next meal of the day, lunch time, Teruteru is wearing a cute hat and and has a new green apron

He's made transforming egg pea rice which consist of scrambled eggs, golden duck soup stock that melts over the green pea rice, and the sexiest fragrance in the world

The food is so amazing that it feels like your clothes are flying off with every bite

Thankfully they aren't, but you savour each and every bite. Before you know it, you've eaten three bowls of it

Teruteru is so happy that you loved his food!!

Finally, for dinner, you are escorted downstairs in a blindfold

Teruteru also had fuzzy handcuffs to go with it but you refused.

And the moment you step into the kitchen and take your blindfold off, your boyfriend has set up the table so you can watch him cook! It's a live performance!

What makes it better is that he brought one of those leprechaun costumes, but he had put his own kinky twist onto the costume.

It looks a bit hideous but hilarious, the costume, that is, but you can ignore it while munching the green appetizers.

And Teruteru starts to get ready to cook the ingredients

But where is the meat? Typically, Teruteru’s dishes include plenty of meat because of the flavour

You are about to ask him when he pulls out an ENTIRE FUCKING ROAST PIG

WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT

ITS ONLY ST PATRICK'S DAY YOU DON'T NEED TO COOK THAT MUCH

STOP PEERING INTO THE DEAD ASSHOLE ALREADY

Nekomaru Nidai

The day starts like normal. You get up, put on something green,  go downstairs, and go out for a jog with Nekomaru

But today, Nekomaru takes you down a different path?

You’re so excited. Does this mean that he is taking you down a harder path? Have you finally leveled up??

He stops and you look at where you are.

It’s a little private area within a forest, filled with soft flowers and silky grass

And Nekomaru is smiling so triumphantly because he is so happy that you love it

In a tree near the back, there is a bucket of chocolate coins, placed there for you from Nekomaru!!

You thank him so much! You can not believe that he did all this for you!

He tells you not to thank him, it was something that he was supposed to do for his loved one!

But the moment you step forward to claim the chocolates, Nekomaru steps in your way!

He tells you to take off your green shoes and your green shirt! You comply, used to following his training orders, and he takes off his green whistle and green jacket.

“S/O, THIS TRAINING AREA WILL BE THE LOCATION OF TODAY’S FIGHT! NO GREEN OUTFITS WILL ENSURE FAIR PLAY!”

He’s preparing to go higher than 10% this time. And you are so ready to fight!! You’ve been training for this moment!!

You both get an equal amount of pinches into each other. Nekomaru is so proud! Until you zone out for one millisecond and he smacks you in the stomach

He checks out whether you’re okay, and he is so relieved when you stand right back up!

You get chocolates as a reward for such a good fight!

DARK LORD Gundam Tanaka

You woke up to your Gundam alarm in the morning

“FIGHT ME, YOU FOUL GREEN MAN!”

Well that's definitely a new line you haven't heard before

You get up from your bed to see what going on and

Oh

It's just the green footprint stickers that you stuck on the floor, hamster bed, hamster toilet, and hamster house

Last night, after Gundam fell asleep, you thought it was funny to stick stickers and put washable green footsteps all over the place

Which reminds you to immediately pinch him after you change into a fuzzy green sweater

He just kinda gives his best “what are you doing, brave but foolish human” stare

Most people typically find that look scary but it's a bit hard to pull that off without guy-liner and gundams current silly bed head

You explain that it is St. Patrick's day and that you are supposed to pinch people who aren't wearing green. You also explain that there are little green men who usually cause mischief and that the holiday is typically associated with gold and rainbows

He stops listening after “little troubling green men”

His eyes light up. He is so going to trap the one who SABOTAGED HIS HAMSTER HOUSE

You try to tell him that you were the one who put the decorations up but he! will! not! listen!

He sets up a trap involving a Popsicle sticks, green paint, string, hamster food, his rings and circles of destruction, hot glue, pencils, gunpowder, pens, paper, more stickers, green ink, and chocolate wrappers

He keeps hidden underneath the covers until he notices out of the corner of his eyes that there are small green hamster footprints leaving his line of sight

His new conclusion?

The leprechaun can shapeshift into a hamster.

Gundam Tanaka will find and catch the leprechaun

After four hours, four fucking hours of fucking doofus, the trap activates. You can hear explosions and gundam’s proud war cry

You honestly don't believe him when he exclaims to you proudly that he has caught the leprechaun! But you walk into the room and there are actually small hamster footsteps that you did not make?!

Gundam lifts the trap and...

It's just one of his hamsters that probably accidentally stepped into the ink pad

Gundam = amazed that one of his hamsters was actually a dark lord known as the leprechaun and he will not stop boasting to you about his power

He's so adorkable that you can't not smile at him.

Nagito Komaeda

So he's already wearing green, which mean you don't have to pinch him, so is that lucky or unlucky?

You're wearing a shirt that's literally asking him to kiss you, is that lucky or unlucky?

Today is a day that is surrounded by four leaf clovers, is that lUCKY or uNLUCKY?

Because if this is all supposed to be lucky, then something bad will happen really soon

He's holding your hand and keeping you close to him all day. He tries to keep it as low key as possible that he is so scared about losing you, so he refuses to have anymore good luck come into his way.

Which means he won't kiss you but he promised several kisses when you two get home again. Where he knows that you can be safer.

Out for a walk? Gotta hold hands.

Going to get a burger from a restaurant? Hold hands while eating.

Needing a number two bathroom break?

By now your hand is probably sweating

You do understand his clingyness though. It is really sweet but seriously? Just because you need a bathroom break and there is a possibility of bad shit happening does not mean that you need a bathroom buddy!! You tell him that in nicer terms though

When you exit the washroom, he is so relieved

You didn't die because of him. Today is wayyy too lucky

What he does ignore is how in the washrooms, the green paint on the walls were wet and you slipped and got wet, thick, green wall paint all over yourself (and you didn't want to tell him just in case he felt bad.)

But that's okay

So now he is kissing your cheeks because he just loves how soft they are but

He honestly didn't notice green paint all over you??

So now his mouth is covered in paint too??

Which is probably poisonous and toxic when ingested??

Fuck

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

As a member of the yakuza, he didn't get to celebrate many holidays

So when you pinch him he just swears

Why the fuck are you pinching him? Do you think you have the authority to do that?? Yeah sure, your bravery is admirable and absolutely fucking adorable but that is one thing you do not do to the heir of the yakuza.

You've also triggered Peko and she is hiding outside of the house waiting for Fuyuhiko’s signal

You try to explain as quickly as possible that it's st Patrick's day and that you supposedly get pinched if you don't wear green.

That's such a stupid rule. Why green? Does it even help that much?

He changes his entire outfit so it’s green anyways

He finds one of your green shirts and wears it because no matter how much you prod him, he will not wear the Kiss Me I'm Irish shirt

In return, he will allow you to paint a four leaf clover on his collarbone

“Make it look manly”

But as the day goes on, and you two hang out with the rest of the 77th class of Hope’s Peak, Fuyuhiko gets into the spirit.

He's started to try and find different ways to get Nagito to take off his hoodie so he can PINCH THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF HIM

He teams up with Kazuichi and draws green mustaches all over Gundam’s face

But he claims it's a new discipline method for the Yakuza and he wants to test it out on his classmates and you

It's so adorable because he has shyly requested to put stickers all over your face and you let him. He's also painted you green eyebrows and a cool dragon

The dragon he has doodled on your face would have been great if it wasn't in a shape of a mustache

When you get home, he acts as if the whole day was childish and ridiculous. But it was definitely “childishly fun.” And he is so ready to have another day like that again. He asks you again and again whether you will do it next year and he is blushing and grinning non stop

He’s so thankful to have such a fun S/O

And next year he plans on catching a leprechaun

Kazuichi Soda

He's on top of every single holiday

So obviously, he gets prepared for St. Patrick's Day wayyyyy earlier than you do

You wake up to a miniature mechanical leprechaun spitting chocolate coins out of his mouth

The coins all have “Kiss me” written all over them. At that moment, you know who prepared this special gift for you!

In the kitchen, Kazuichi is making breakfast for you! Also, his pink hair now has some streaks of green.

But he is covered in oil and rust so you aren’t sure whether the food is safe

He’s literally made green eggs and ham for you, and the egg is actually cooked thoroughly! He’s also made green milk, which he promises is not rotten.

He swears it's just food colouring! No way would he ever hurt his s/o!

When you go to hang out with his classmates, he is pinching every stranger!

And everyone else is pinching him back because your boyfriend simply doesn’t have enough green on him

An hour later, he is practically begging you to step in and help him. You give him your green scarf.

But now everyone is pinching you!

Solution? Both of you wear the scarf at the same time!

Now not even Hiyoko has an excuse to pinch someone! (and her pinches are really hard Dx)

It gives him an excuse to kiss you in public without being too embarrassed too!

Hajime (Hajimeme) Hinata

He really doesn't celebrate st Patrick's day

Nonetheless, he will still go along with you. He does think the pinching is a little stupid, but whatever

But when everyone keeps pinching him, he decides he has had enough! He is wearing a green tie, so he shouldn't be pinched!

No one is listening to him except for you. You try to explain that the green tie isn't enough for st Patrick's day with friends.

It's surely just a childish thing! He doesn't care too much.

That is, until you remind him that Nagito and Akane and Nekomaru are coming. Getting pinched by them would be—

You two are now going shopping for some green clothes and he really needs you to drive him so u say yes ON THE CONDITION THAT YOU GET TO PICK HIS CLOTHES

You prank him a bit by purchasing a Kiss Me I'm Irish shirt

Hajime is so red and flustered it's adorable but you make it clear that you are the only one who can kiss this pillar of salt/meme (as a form of not sincere apology)

Yeah, that's right.

But maybe you have forgotten that a certain someone was coming

Screw off Nagito. You aren't supposed to take that shirt seriously.

Please stop trying to kiss Hajime

Stap

Gosh dammit Nagito

#i feel like i bullied nagito #dr2 #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa 2 imagines #ultimate imposter #byakuya twogami #teruteru hanumura kin #teruteru hanamura #nekomaru nidai #gundam tanaka #nagito komaeda #fuyuhiko kuzuryuu #kazuichi souda #hajime hinata #self insert #st patricks day

[scouringsaucepans-blog]

Would You Just... Stop Boozing? Part Two

My sister is staying for the weekend. She's in the front room with my mum and me, talking to my mum about hotels she's been working with, looking at ornaments on the bookcase, drinking red wine. Mum also has red wine. I'm on the Earl Grey, feeling droopy tired and low and unable to concentrate. I should have more to say. This is a situation that requires booze, yet I am not boozing, so I sit there, on the edge of the conversation, a stranger even among my closest family, anxious and sober, wondering why I find everything so difficult. I go to bed early and sit up tapping on my laptop, listening to the muffled voices drifting up from below. I wonder whether they're talking about me. Liz asking how I'm doing, whether I'm any better. Mum pausing, unsure how to answer. I realised recently that every situation in my life includes alcohol. I'll sit cocooned at home, in a world of screens and thoughts, and I'll only perhaps have a wine, a whisky, it's not that important. But if I go out, to meet friends, parents, to go to a party, the cinema, a meal, a day off, an evening after work, I'll have to drink. You fall into it. It's not like getting up at 7am to swig vodka from the bottle in an unfurnished bedsit with wallpaper peeling from the walls, at least not for me. It's more drinking to relieve anxiety, shyness, as a tonic for uneasy feelings, as a bandage, a crutch, a necessity, and finally just as the unconscious routine of my life. It's easy deciding to stop boozing. What's hard is how to deal with all the neglected life you find dried and withered waiting for you after you stop. After so many years when the answer to every question was a drink, I feel clumsy and ungainly grasping for a different solution. Even with my sister. She comes into my room, starts looking around for her toothbrush. "In bed and it's not even midnight, you are being good," she says. "I'm trying." It takes me a long time to fall asleep. *** Next morning, however, is another day. I'm up early and writing, feel growth in my bones, rolling stretch of energy. I goof around with Liz, drink tea. We don't know what to do with the afternoon -- what do families do? -- but the weather is good and Yorkshire is Yorkshire, so we decide to walk, a walk is the thing, out to the Peaks in ranging wilds to get lost in the heather. But I'm glum again in the car. I don't feel like walking, don't feel like chatting or listening to them chat, feel the strain of something being required of me that I am not capable of providing. I keep the feeling in check, hide it inside, but it's there, gnawing away. Then we meet an old man and he makes things better. "Don't be bothering with that," the old man says as Mum, Liz and I crowd around the pay-and-display machine at the car park. "Oh, yes, har har," Liz says, rather inelegantly, because she has no idea what to say, but someone has to say something. "Don't need no ticket," the old man, who somehow has two walking sticks, says. "Police don't come down here. Haven't put in toilets. And got no card, do you?" "Mm?" Liz says. "It's card payment only, it says." "Aye, but you've got no card, do you?" "Ohh..." Liz getting it. "Well, she's paying already." Motions at Mum. "She's too honest. But thank you." Tries to smile him away. "Only ice cream van comes here," the old man says, not moving off. "Well," I say, looking at the ice cream van, my eyes narrowing. "Could be undercover police. Could be a sting." The old man turns to me, levels a long glare, turns back to Liz. This always happens. My joke having fallen on deaf ears -- perhaps literally -- I abandon Liz, and turn to help Mum, who is having an absolute nightmare with the machine, as she does with all machines. The old man stands with Liz, who has used up her best smiles and is starting to look uncomfortable. The old man glances towards the car closest to us, a dog-on-board sticker in its window. He clears his throat. "Dog... on... board," he growls. He looks at Liz. She looks at him. he walks off. We could not be happier. A Thing has occurred, a genuine Thing, and it was just what we needed. We growl "dog... on... board" at each other all the way down the trail, cracking ourselves up again and again. *** The peaks take our breath and roll it into deepening valleys and over sharp rocks up into cavernous sky, as they always do. I can never believe we live here. The Earth is splayed clear and hard below us, heather and rough trees poppling out to the horizon, the wind cratering and crushing -- jagged Northern land majestic yet cruel, making you aware more than anything of being on the side of a dying rock-planet looking out, into the allness of space. We stand and feel small. We breathe. We take photographs. *** The release lasts the duration of the walk, and the ice cream reward, right up to the drive home. I scroll through the photographs Liz has taken, seeing my gimpy thrust-armed skeleton self, over and over, hair whisping loose from skull, morose chub-cheeked scowl though felt I was smiling, one shot after the other. What a beast I look, I think secretly in the car, handing the phone back, saying not a thing. At home I make a risotto while they drink gin and tonics, and the rice won't final-soften, the greens lose their colour; Mum has bough frunched-up instead of flat-leaf parsley, in the end the meal tastes of nothing, I reckon -- they cry yum but I know better, and I have a headache and I'm frustrated and I want wine. They have wine. I have water. My sober mind is so neurotic, itchy busy and aware and alert. Gently-blunting alcohol, underwater-green rounding the edges and sliding thoughts happily into place, has always, mostly, worked -- there's a reason I do it. The problem is that it blunts everything else, my writing sense, my willpower, my drive, my flame. And the hangovers are the pits. So jeering sober spike-thoughts it'll have to be. I want to watch a film, feel without alcohol that'll be second-best escape. Want motion and sound within which to hide. But Liz isn't so keen, we can't decide upon anything. She won't watch The Grand Budapest Hotel or The Darjeeling Limited, they look too "weird" and "annoying". She won't watch The Sweet Hereafter, too slow a drama. I tell her she's close-minded, she should give something different a chance. "Leave her alone," Mum says. Liz says she isn't sure she fancies a film, if anything it'd have to be easy-dumb, like Olympus has Fallen. "Definitely fucking not," I say. "Who's close-minded now?" "Piss off." Mum makes that little noise that means she's about to suggest something, beautiful Mum so shy putting herself forward, even with her own kids. And no wonder, because: "I think back here I've got... Yes, here it is -- we could watch Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe?" "Unngh," I sigh. "God, no!" Liz says. "For ten years you've been trying to get me to watch Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe. I am not going to watch some film called [voice dripping with disdain] 'Fried Green Tomatoes at the Effing Whistle Stop Cafe.'" Mum looks crestfallen, as always. "Rob's right, you know. You are close-minded." Liz and I burst out laughing. Sweet old Cath pushed finally to a little sass, plus of course our shared understanding that for no discernible reason neither of us will ever, as long as we live, watch that DVD of Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe. And after that, though it has taken long enough, everything is finally OK. We end up not watching a film. I say I don't mind watching the first episode of Stranger Things, which Liz wants to show me, but then we never put it on, sit instead with legs resting on each other on the sofa, Mum in her rocking chair, and we read our books; Liz helps Mum set up an Instagram account, searches on Google for clever writing hashtags for me while I copy my blog posts across to Tumblr; and we sit tapping away, heads down, on our phones but together, not the perfect family but a family, like all the rest, and the night sways on and perhaps the not boozing does have something going for it because Mum looks up at one point to see her two children sitting with her and murmurs that she is perfectly content, and for the first time in a long time I'd have to say that I agree.

#writers #writer #writers of tumblr #my writing #my words #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled words #sheffield #mental health #blogging #blogger #blog posts