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astorianyxkings · 5 months

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There's always people theorizing how the Batfamily hides Jason disappearance and reappearance, but I literally haven't seen anyone use the best explanation: Witness Protection.

Like this literally answers every question. The Death Certificate? They had to fake his death. The empty grave? Obviously it had to be believable. The time when Wayne Heir "Richie Wayne" refused to step foot in Gotham and talk to his father? He was pissed about Jason's (non) death. Brucie Wayne's very real depression after his death? Well he lost contact with his son and he was under immense stress from the government.

Like this literally answers every question I can come up with. Why has no one said he was in witness protection? And if people have done it, send me fics and prompts because I'm obsessed.

And the best part is, the Waynes are so stupidly rich that they could pull it off. Lex Luther could try and conduct his own investigation but somehow he can never find anything concrete. And if he gets too close either Babs hacks them or Tim just calls up Conner for a distraction.

One time Jason gets cornered and asked how he felt about returning to his life after being in Witness Protection. Unfortunately, him and Bruce weren't on the best terms to explain the whole story but he comes in clutch. He spins the tale about how heartbroken he was to see his brother, father and grandfather grieving and how honored he was when he learnt his new little brother idolized him. Tim got ahold of a copy of the interview and will never let Jason live it down.

The media doesn't ask Bruce questions about Jason's death because last time they did he broke down and a suddenly furious reporter chastised them and reminded them that while Jason may be alive Bruce still mourned his death. The picture of Bruce in tears at the interview is currently one of Jason's favourite lockscreens.

Same goes for Dick. Any questions of his brother's death results in (1) Richie Wayne ready to throw hands at any and everybody, (2) his wife (well one of them) Barbara Gordon threatening the reporters or (3) That same Metropolis reporter chastising the whole community again.

#dc comics #batfam #bruce wayne #jason todd #yes the reporter is clark #hes ready to fight for b and dick #vicky vale wonders if jason todd wayne was in witness protection due to something involving the red hood #jason goes on twitter and bashes the red hood's whole persona #dick grayson retweets that red hood is trying and is just a little lost #the official batman twitter likes that tweet #it causes a huge mess for both barbara and jim gordon to clean up #they knew they shouldn't have gotten involved with gothams pet billionaire and his weird kids

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starry-bi-sky · 3 months

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“Your brother is adorable.” The cashier cooed at Danny, peering over the counter with a smile. “What’s his name?”

Danny looked down to the surly, scowling little de-aged Batman currently holding onto his hand, glaring up at the cashier with bright blue eyes.

Things had already been bad enough when he’d gotten caught in a fight in Gotham, but things went from bad to worse when a magician had hit Batman with a de-aging spell and then shoved them through a portal.

Into a different fucking dimension.

Because of course neither of their lives could be easy. And now the two of them were stuck in Iowa in the middle of nowhere, at a truck stop gas station, trying to go on a cross-country roadtrip to reach the nearest hero city and get home.

He looked up and smiled awkwardly, trying to come up with a name off the top of his head — one of the heroes called Batman ‘B’ when he got hit right? B for Batman, right. B… B… Bee… Bees.

“Buzz.” He said, and tried not to grimace as the cashier’s face warped with surprise. “Like the astronaut.”

This was gonna be a long trip.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #older brother danny except its BRUCE’S TUUURRRB #why are they in another dimension? because otherwise they’d be found too quickly :)#danny has a backpack on him and irs currently holding bruce’s batman suit #bc ofc he’s not gonna leave that in a cornfield for someone to find #he’s extremely weirded out and antsy by the fact that he can see batman’s face #despite being a kid. it Feels Wrong. its respect for the secret identity #how old is bruce? younger than 10 #dpdc prompt #dpxdc prompt #older brother danny in progress #danny’s like. 15-ish thats why he’s so anxious #confident danny is fun and all but nervous danny ftw #none of their tech works bc they’re in a different dimension #its their ‘zuko life changing adventure’ trip. the cross country is vital to the bonding experience #nothing says ‘brotherly bonding’ like being forcibly shoved i to the next door dimension and going on a cross country road trip to get help #danny being a random dead kid hero. nobody important other than to his city and now he’s gotten himself involved with batman and co #danny: his name is buzz :) *internally screaming*#bruce is wearing stolen kid clothes they both look homeless #danny doesnt know bruce’s secret identity and vice versa #this is gonna be so fun danny’s gonna keep forgetting that bruce isnt actually a kid #bruce has the memories of his adult self but everything is kid-sized including his brain #so he’s not developmentally an adult all. his brain is that of a kid’s #starry says its bruce’s turn with the big brother >:((

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bluerosefox · 19 days

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Family Resemblance

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I had another 11pm brain worm.

Enjoy

-x-x-

Daniel Wayne, the younger toddler brother of Bruce Wayne and the son of Martha and Thomas Wayne had been kidnapped the night their parents were murdered.

Daniel had been snagged the moment their killer heard people headed to the alley and Bruce in his state of shock didn't realize it until it was far to late and could only scream in horror (from everything) as his baby brother is crying his name. (If you wanna make it even more heart wrenching, make it Danny's first time being able to say Bruce's name right and/or Bruce had said some mean things to Danny earlier after he accidentally broke something of Bruce's, something like 'I wish youd go away' or 'I never wanted a brother, you're such a bother!')

Bruce is being held by Alfred as some police officers are chasing down the Wayne's parents killer while some stay behind to see if they could do something.

Minutes turn to hours and as they wait, praying the police at least found Danny, Bruce is ridden with guilt. From his parents death to allowing his brother to be kidnapped.

Eventually the police return to give Alfred and Bruce the news. And it's not good.

The killer escaped and Danny was nowhere to be found.

And it would take many years before he would be found.

-x-x-

Bruce gets a call from Damian during school hours one day. When he answers he is greeted with Damian demanding him to get to the school and explain himself.

Confused Bruce asks what does he mean and Damian responds with

"The two new students in class today are the spitting images of you and I father! Either they are poorly created clones or you have more hidden blood children!"

-x-x-

Meanwhile the very students being discussed are calling up someone too

"Ellie? Dan? What's wrong? You better not have made too much chaos already, I just paid for the uniforms for that place."

"DAD! I THINK ANOTHER ONE OF THE FRUITLOOPS FAILED CLONES SOMEHOW SURVIVED!"

"What?"

#danny phantom #danny fenton #crossover #dp x dc #blue rambles #danny phantom dc #writing ideas #random idea #dpxdc #bruce and danny are siblings #danny was a toddler when he was kidnapped #somehow someway he escaped or was dumped out of Gotham #due to how young Danny was and how traumatized he was about that night he forgot everything but his first name #no one really connected the dots that Danny was the missing Wayne child #mostly due to no public photographs of Danny #he had been born very early and no one was sure he was going to make it #and going to the theater had been his first time being finally allowed out of the manor #only for it to end in tragedy #years later though #Danny moves to Gotham with his kids #a deaged and raised from infanthood Danielle 'Ellie' Fenton and Dante 'Dan' Fenton #Damian was not ready to see them #he thinks theyre poorly made clones since one looks more like his father than him and the other is a girl #or more secret children his father didnt know about #Ellie and Dan think Damian is an escaped clone of Vlads #Bruce and Danny meet at the school and Bruce nearly has a heart attack at the young man who looks so much like his parents #Danny is a bit weirded out because Bruce looks very familiar somehow

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ghost-bxrd · 2 months

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Prompt:

Dick is thrown back in time to a couple days before his past self is scheduled to leave on the mission to space, the one during which Jason will die.

Past Dick gets a very frantic and concerning phone call from someone claiming to be his future self, begging him not to go on the mission. And for some reason he‘s supposed to keep an eye on Jason? What the hell is that about? They’re not that close…

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tales-of-the-ghost-zone · 7 months

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A few months before Danny gets his powers, while on a trip to Gotham with his family (maybe there was a ghost convention or something). While in Gotham Danny some how figures out that Bruce Wayne is Batman. I don’t know how he figures it out, but he does. When they get back to Amity Danny jokingly makes a power point presentation for his parents about why they should put in their will that if something ever happened to them Bruce Wayne would get custody of him (and Jazz if she’s still underage at the time).

A couple of his points are:

He’s a billionaire so you know he’ll be able to afford to take care of me and Jazz

He has a mansion so lots of space and big rooms

He’s got a butler

He’s already well known for adopting black haired blue eyed children so he probs wouldn’t be opposed to taking me in

He’s got kids of his own already so me and Jazz would get more siblings!!

He’s Batman

Danny did the whole power point as a joke but his parents actually took it kind of seriously. Cause up to this point neither one of them had thought about what would happen to Danny and Jazz if the both of them where to die. So they make a will and put in it that if they both die then Bruce Wayne gets custody of their kids. And then they all promptly forget about it.

Two years later Bruce Wayne gets a call from a man claiming to be the executor of the Fenton will and that Bruce’s presence is requested in Amity Park for the reading of the Fenton will. Bruce is wracking his brain trying to remember who the Fenton’s are and if how he knows them. But the man is coming up blank (cause he’s never actually met them before). He goes to the will reading and is shocked to hear that the Fenton’s, two people he’s never met before, have left custody of their 16yo son to him.

Danny is just as shocked because holy shit that power point was a joke. He didn’t mean for his parents to actually take it seriously and do that!!! And Vlad is pissed. He was sure he was gonna get custody of Danny after killing off the Fenton parents! Bruce is trying to figure out why these two strangers left their son to him. He’s watching Danny with eagle eyes trying to figure the kid out. And he sees the way Danny flinches whenever Vlad gets close or puts his hand on Danny’s shoulder.

Vlad tries to convince Bruce it would be better for Danny if Bruce gave up custody to him(Vlad). He’s know the boy for two years after all and he was actually a family friend. Danny meanwhile is silently shaking his head and giving Bruce pleading eyes silently begging him not to let Vlad take him. Bruce just tells Vlad that the Fenton’s must have had a good reason for giving him(Bruce) custody instead of giving it to Vlad, and he’s going to abide by the Fenton’s wishes.

Bruce leaves with Danny and once in the limo he asks Danny if he’s ever met him or his parents before. Poor Danny has to explain how he jokingly made a power point about why his parents should leave custody of him to Bruce in the event of their deaths, and how he never thought his parents would actually take it seriously. But hey at least he doesn’t have to go live with Vlad now!

#danny phantom #batman #dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc prompt #dp x dc crossover #danny fenton #ghost king phantom #it was supposed to be a joke #but the Fenton parents are weird #and extra #and they love their kids #so if their son wants Bruce Wayne to be their back up in the event of their demise #then who are they to say no #Bruce is super confused when he shows up for the will reading #who the hell are these people #the executor of the will didn’t know that the Fenton’s and Bruce didn’t know each other #he saw Bruce Wayne’s name and that he was being left custody of Danny #and he just assumed that the Fenton’s and the Wayne’s where friends #plus Wayne is always adopting orphaned kids with black hair and blue eyes #and Danny fits that perfectly #the man did not question this decision for a single second #vlad is beyond pissed #he killed the Fenton parents to get custody of Danny #and it was all for nothing cause those idiots didn’t leave him custody #he’s trying to figure out how the Fenton’s knew Bruce Wayne as well #Danny is just super embarrassed #it was a damn joke!#it wasn’t supposed to be taken seriously

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deadsetobsessions · 4 months

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A click. The closing and opening of a camera shutter. The whirr of film as it slides across the inner workings of his camera.

Timothy Drake heaved himself off of the concrete roof as soon as the vigilantes left his eyesight. He swaps the film roll, placing the used one inside of the tin with a barely restrained grin. He’d gotten good shots tonight- a confrontation with Harvey Dent, batarangs swooping to cut the new Robin free- and Tim was excited to race back to his dark room in order to develop those candids.

He climbs down the side of the building, the spelunking gear he’d splurged his parents’ money on working wonderfully on Gotham’s stone and concrete buildings.

“Mom, I want to be just like you guys!” He’d said, and his mom agreed to spare no expense for his new hobby. Well, their secretary did, with his parent’s disinterested permission. After all, spelunking is sometimes needed for artifact digs… probably.

Besides, the moment he had brought up Bruce Wayne��s propensity for “spelunking,” his father had immediately sent him more cave scaling stuff in order to “network with the other successful businessmen, Timmy!”

Tim slides away from the alley with full awareness. Even in Bristol, one had to be careful to avoid the multitudes of goons out and about. The Narrows are definitely worse than Bristol and Tim wasn’t about to let his hard work be taken away just like that. As he trudged home- taking a taxi once he was in a slightly more “trustworthy area”- Tim became slightly lost in his thoughts about the identities of Gotham’s vigilantes. Technically there’s only two.

Tim knows there’s three.

Batman.

Robin.

Nightwing.

Bruce Wayne.

Jason Todd.

Dick Grayson.

His sharp mind, now assuaged from the mystery of their identities, worked hard to match the fights he witnessed to the injuries the prolific Wayne family hid the next day.

Timothy Drake thinks he’ll never get bored following his vigilantes.

——

He’s bored. He’s so irrevocably, irredeemably bored.

Tim had been so excited to go, too! Perhaps for different reasons than everyone else because he was here to observe his heroes out of their masks, not for the Annual Wayne Gala that’s the end-all of high society life. As in, if you weren’t invited, that’s the end of your social life. Bruce Wayne held high society in his palms and Tim is only fifty percent sure he knew and/or cared. Regardless, he was prepared to be a pod-son to his parents’ fake good-parents act, and accordingly suffered thirty minutes of cheek-pinching and fake laughs just for the opportunity to see the three Bats in one place.

They’re not here. They won’t be here for another twenty minutes.

Anyways, he’s bored and irritated. Definitely annoyed enough for some bad ideas.

And Tim might not be aware of this fact about himself until much later when he’s more self-aware, but a bored and irritated Tim Drake is bad news for everyone.

He takes after Janet Drake, after all, and Janet Drake is only after Bruce Wayne in influence and cunning.

And his heroes, his beloved heroes, are the targets of his ire tonight. Tim smiles wider, pod-person smile widening to a baring of ravenous teeth incredibly off putting on a nine year old, and immediately changes course towards the delicate jello squares sitting at the buffet table.

The Waynes will be learning the importance of punctuality at their own galas by the time Tim’s done. He swears it. He even has a get out of jail free card!

Just. A small bit of petty revenge.

Tim nabs a bowl full of the jellos, snacking on one as he makes his way to the Wayne family’s most favorite balcony. Everyone knows it’s the one the family members go to when the Gala gets overwhelming. It’s an unspoken rule that no one else may enter it. Tim slips around the blind spots in the cameras.

High society might call someone a bitch in forty different ways, all hidden behind silk smiles and false eyes, but they’d respect the oddest things.

Tim… doesn’t care. He’s been breaking rules since he was seven.

He sets to his task, setting the jello cubes in the places he’d calculated that Jason or Bruce or Dick might step on. Mild revenge, yes, but Tim doesn’t want to bother Alfred too much. The butler had looked a bit tired earlier. Task done, Tim squeezes back into the party and smiles like his life depended on it.

“Brucie!” His dad boomed, and Tim felt his smile widen once more.

“Jack!” Batman’s Brucie personality bounced into the ballroom as the party kicked back up with the host’s presence. “How’ve you been, old chap?”

“The digs have been very fruitful!”

“I see you’ve brought someone with you today! Well, other than your strikingly beautiful wife, of course!”

“This is my son, Timothy!”

“Hello, Timothy. It’s very nice to meet you.”

Oh. My. God. He’s shaking hands with Batman!

“Hi. I’m Timothy Drake.”

“Oh my gosh, Tim!” His mom laughs, fake nails and laugh digging into his shoulders. Oops. Too informal.

“It’s alright.”

“BRUCE!”

Oh my god, it’s ROBIN. Tim’s smile twitches, barely containing his squeals.

“Jaylad? What’s wrong?”

“Someone left jello cubes all over the balcony!”

“What?” Bruce (Brucie, Tim decides is the name of the mask) turns to his parents and excuses himself.

“Mom? I’m going to go network with Bruce Wayne’s son.”

No, he’s not. He’s gonna go watch them lose their minds.

“That’s my boy!” His dad claps him on the shoulder and shoos him off. His mom narrowing her eyes at him but ultimately dismissing him.

Perfect. By the time he gets there, he hears Nightwing- Dick Grayson, oh my god!- asking “O” to figure out who left all those cubes on the floor.

“Drake?” Ah, shit.

“Weren’t we just talking to him earlier, B?”

“Yes, but I haven’t got the slightest idea why he’d leave jello cubes all over the place.”

“Assassination attempt?” Jason asks.

“Whatever it is, it ruined my running shoes!”

“Dick, please, just wash it off or give it to Alfred.”

“Ugh, we can just go ask him.”

“And make a scene?” Jason sounds eager.

“No. Alfred ordered us specifically not to.”

Silence. Tim grins and slips away, making his way through and voiding the cameras as usual.

—-

“Timmy!”

Tim smiles politely at Brucie Wayne while inwardly cheering. His dad looks at him with stars in his eyes and leaves him to work his magic.

“Yes, Mr. Wayne?” Pod-person smile!

“This is my son, Jason. And this is Dick.”

“Hi. I’m Jason!” He holds out a hand for Tim to shake. Dick smiles at him and Tim thinks he might expire on the Wayne’s ballroom floor.

“Hello,” Tim suppresses his urge to scream excitedly. “I’m Timothy Drake. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Woah, you sound so stiff.”

“Jason!” Brucie Wayne chides. “Anyways, Timmy, you looked like you had something to tell me earlier. Something wrong, kiddo?”

No, no he didn’t. But… they don’t know that he knows their secret. And they don’t know he knows that they don’t know.

Tim acts confused, but then clears up with his expression like he just thought of something.

“Oh! I was wondering why you were late, Mr. Wayne. Did Batman stop you on the way back?”

“Huh?”

“Oh, I know you don’t really like Batman, Mr. Wayne,” Tim cackles inwardly. “But he saves you a lot. Were you stopping crime?”

“I… I’m not Batman.”

“Well, I know that,” Tim huffs. “It’s just weird no one’s seen you and Batman in the same room.” Tim cheerfully ignores the alarm making its way onto the trio’s faces and his dad’s frantic, further away, cut it out motion. “But obviously that’s because Batman’s busy putting on his gear, right?”

“And how do you figure that…?” Dick asks, tense.

“Uh, he always knows when you’re in trouble? He always comes in minutes of you guys getting held hostage. Is his base on the manor grounds? Oh, is it a secret that you’re funding him? Don’t worry! I know how to keep a secret! Can you tell the new Robin that I think he’s the best?” Tim grins cutely up at Batman. Ah, he means Brucie Wayne.

“Sure can, kiddo! Don’t tell anyone else, okay?” Jason swoops in, grinning back Tim.

Eeee!

As he nods, Tim can’t help mentioning the cubes. “Oh, sorry about the cubes! I thought I’d be able to track them with their shoe print if Batman and Robin came to save you guys but I guess that wasn’t going to happen. I’m really sorry!” He uses the “cute duckling” face and Dick visibly melts.

“No problem, Timmy! You should come over to play Clue with us sometime! I think you’d be good at it.”

“Oh! Really?” His words becomes a bit more genuine. “I’ve never played it. My mom and dad aren’t around much so. Um. Would it be okay if we do?”

“This weekend.” Brucie Wayne’s voice suddenly became more firm. “I’ll talk to your parents about it.

—-

As Tim waves the Wayne’s goodbye, he hears from Dick, “You only like him because he said you’re the best.”

And Jason’s reply, “Because he’s got good taste,” made the rest of his night. Not week, because tomorrow, he gets to poke around Wayne manor again!

#tim drake is a menace #tim drake #bruce wayne is tired dad with unhinged kids #bruce Wayne’s adoption senses are tingling #bruce wayne #batman #nightwing #Tim literally dngaf and is waiting for the bats to play catch up #dick grayson #jason todd #robin #jello cubes as a weird shoe print identifier #technically he did catch Batman and robin

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charlietheepicwriter7 · 3 months

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We've seen DP and DC be different universes where Danny and Valerie are the only heroes in DP, but there are thousands of heroes in DC. We've seen where DP and DC are in the same universe, and Amity Park just thinks the Justice League are ignoring them.

But what if DP and DC are different universes, BUT Danny and Val aren't the only heroes?

If we treat superheroes as basically cops/military with superpowers, then we can infer what heroes would be like using cop/military statistics. You could even use My Hero Academia society as a basis. Things like "heroes are more interested in protecting private property than serving the public" and "Heroes have high levels of PTSD and physical disability and aren't helped after they retire" are common knowledge in Danny's universe.

And specifically, the one I wanted to make clear for this prompt: In Danny's universe, heroes are highly likely to abuse their family/sidekicks outside the mask.

Suddenly, Danny's in the DC universe. For a low-stakes reason; if he's there because the DP universe imploded or his parents tried to kill him, he'd be too concerned about himself to act on his instincts. No, Danny's there for a vacation and there are so many heroes and kid heroes that he feels sick.

Maybe he catches Batman being rough with his kids, or overhears Superman "belittling" Superboy (Conner). Nevertheless...

Danny ends up thinking that all the Justice League are abusing their sidekicks and families and becomes a villain to save them.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp prompt #Danny's trying really hard to help and superheroes in his home dimension are really bad so he thinks the worst #C: danny fenton #c: bruce wanye #c: clark kent #c: connor kent #danny becomes a supervillain in one city after another #discovers that the hero he's menacing isn't abusive #and that the mentee isn't abused #then goes to the next one #occasionally there is an abusive hero #like he calls green arrow out on his bullshit regarding roy #but danny getting the sneaking suspicion that something's weird about the heroes here #all the kid heroes know danny's not a threat because all he does is feed them fudge and ask questions like a social worker

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bbbbbbbbatman · 1 year

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When Tim is like 7 or 8, he hasn't figured out Batman's identity yet but he's still very perceptive and he knows that that weird Bruce Wayne guy isn't actually stupid, so just imagine little (slightly creepy) baby Tim going up to Bruce at a gala and just asking, very straightforward, "Why do you pretend to be such an idiot?"

And Bruce just stares down at this kid staring at him with big eyes like "?? what the fuck??" and he laughs it off with the people around him and kinda dismisses the kid, but later on he feels someone watching him, and it's that kid across the room, still staring at him, mostly with curiosity, and 'how does he know?'

#bruce complains to alfred later but alfred's just like 'idk kids are weird'#it's probably nothing #probably #i love a tim that's just a little bit creepy #just a bit unsettling #batman #bruce wayne #tim drake #red robin #dc #mine

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xxgoblin-dumplingxx · 3 months

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weird boy bruce...

Selina sees that Bruce will never love her, as he loves the reader.

"It's always been her, hasn't it?"

In some ways, Alfred reflected, your absence was something he should have planned for. But that didn't mean that it wasn't damned inconvenient when you weren't answering the phone.

Another day. Another case. Another injury. Another week another explosive fight with Selina. And Alfred was exhausted. When you were there, it was like having a buffer. You were good at managing Bruce. You understood him- you always had.

You'd told Alfred once that Bruce was just Jackie with fewer brain injuries and different hyper-fixations. And well- that had to have some ring of truth to it because when he compared the way you talked to them, the way you handled situations with them there were glaring similarities.

"Hey Alfred?" Dick said, looking at the picture he had stuck in a little lip in a spice cupboard- an old picture. A candid photo. One of the first times Bruce smiled after his parents died. He had grease- engine grease on his face and was laughing as he held a wrench out of your reach- hampering your efforts at breaking a rebuild record.

"Yes, Master Richard?"

"Why's Y/N not here anymore?"

"That's- well. That's not really my story to tell," Alfred sighed. "Sometimes being an adult is- hard."

"No it's not," Dick snorted, "You can stay up til whenever. No one makes you do math. AND you can eat cake WHENEVER YOU WANT."

"True," Alfred chuckled, "but sometimes when people grow up-"

"They do stupid things," Bruce said dropping into a chair and stifling a groan. Resisting the urge to look at his phone. To call you. He knows you're with Clark. Either at the cabin or in Metropolis. Not fighting. Just... being.

"So can't you just say sorry and eat pizza or something?" Dick asked.

Bruce snorted, "Sometimes it takes more than sorry and some Crazy bread to fix a mistake, Chum. And I don't think Y/N really wants to come back to Gotham. Not now-"

"Can't she just shoot Selina with a laser?" Dick whined.

Bruce rolled his eyes, "No killing, first of all. And second of all, no. Because it's not Selina's fault. It's mine. For a little while They did try to be friends." He knew she was there. That she was listening. And he knew it probably hurt. At least he hoped it did. Maybe it would buy him a couple weeks of relative quiet.

#bruce wayne #ask answered #minors dni #reader insert #clark kent x reader #weird kid! bruce

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ijustthinkhesneat · 1 month

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I’m an Alfred/Martha/Thomas truther. Like Alfred is a baddie in his 80s you all know he must have been a slice back in the day. And it is canon Martha and Thomas were smoke shows.

Like let hot people get it. Let hot men kiss while their wife turns mobsters kneecaps into flour with a baseball bat.

#I feel like with all those portraits in the manor teenage Bruce must have had that weird moment when he was like #‘why were my parents hotter than me at 16?’#y’all know what I mean you find a photo of like your grandparents when they were young and you have to know why your so crusty #but like nope apparently grandpa was an absolute chad #Bruce Wayne #Martha Wayne #Thomas Wayne #alfred pennyworth #I bet Martha was dog walking those men #her British Twink and Italian Bodybuilder #batman #batfam #like and imagine the kids reaction #they find a candid shot of young Alfred making out with Grandpa Tom?#they can’t handle the idea of Alfred getting so much play #rip to Martha and Thomas they are eating ass and smoking grass with the angels now #it’s for the best #the Gotham rogues would be found scalped if they were still kicking #gotham #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #tim drake #dc batman

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mikakuna · 3 months

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dc scoring in the 80s by creating a robin with a poverty-stricken home life, addict stepmom, complicated father, followed up by said mom's death and father's jailing causing the kid to be homeless, and overall making a robin who was very relatable to lower class dc fans, simultaneously upgrading their diverse character rep game.... just to turn around and kill off said robin and make the next two robins back to being rich as fuck and having those robins talk the most shit about a dead child who came from the worst streets in gotham.... is just soooo.....

#dc the shit stains you are #not even mentioning how bruce would constantly say he was saving jason from a life of crime #just bc this kid lived in the poorest neighbourhood in gotham #batman is a great man but you can't take away his true upper class roots #the fact that dc did this is just so weird #fine you wanted to kill jason off whatever #but to replace him with a rich kid and then another rich kid #and have those robins be the best to ever serve bruce while jason was the worst #????#the undertones are so obvious #jason todd #jason peter todd #red hood #bruce wayne #batman #red robin #robin #dc #damian wayne

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superherospinoff · 1 year

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jack and janet drake were honestly so revolutionary for creating an only child that was a middle child from birth

#tim drake #dc #batfam #forget about all the angst takes on this. instead consider: tim being the only kid to encourage bruce to adopt more kids #so that he'll have even more weird and outlandish siblings #that are going to totally overshadow the insane bullshit he's getting up to behind the scenes #tim: hmmm i need to go off-planet to violate intergalactic laws with the besties for a week but i don't want bruce on my ass about it #tim: [nudging damian in the direction of an unethical zoo and coincidentally showing cass a zebra-sized secret passage into the manor]#tim: [stealing something from jason's safehouse and framing dick for it]#tim: [watching the resulting carnage/shenanigans] yeah that should do it #claims he became robin to improve batman's mental state. makes bruce's life more chaotic anyways.#spins speaks

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periswirl · 2 months

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If I were hypothetically writing a fic where Bruce was Danny's (long lost) son and I hypothetically wanted to make another character Jazz's kid (I'm thinking one of his rogues he's at least friendly with or a JL member) who is a good fit. Hypothetically.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #my post #I was thinking Harley but that may be too on the nose #a green lantern or a flash might be fun for the sheer irritation but im not super familiar with their lore #not enough to play in it at least #It just feels weird if Bruce doesnt have any cousins and Dani doesnt strike me as the type to settle enough for kids and i dont want an OC😅#any cousins from Danny's side at least. i adore Kate

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redrobin-detective · 2 years

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Listen, we know Bruce was traumatized by his parents’ death but I hold that even before they were killed Bruce Wayne was a little weirdo. Like his paranoia and difficulty with emotion and attachment are from that terrible night. But I imagine 8 year old Brucie was OCD as hell and painstakingly arranging and rearranging his things to his satisfaction. He was meticulous, even as a child, very detail oriented. Highly intelligent, showing a boundless curiosity and determination to understand everything from a young age. I bet he was hell to enforce bedtimes on, always to do much to do and too little hours in the day.

Bruce was that kid who dragged bugs in the house for study, pulled down all the books on one shelf so could arrange them in height order, skittered around the house’s many passages like a little rat. He was the kid who was happy and cheerful but a bit awkward from growing up a Wayne, he would much rather squirrel away somewhere with a book considered too old for him than talk with people he didn’t know. He loved the macabre in the way weird little kids too, he wanted to see Zorro for the action and the violent fight scenes. Thomas and Martha Wayne had to listen to their precocious son ask them time and again how they thought they would die and listen to his speculations.

I want the Justice League to have to go back in time for whatever reason and they expect Bruce to be a delightful, happy, normal child. Instead, they find a kid with a lovingly worn Sherlock Holmes omnibus under one arm, an entire bag of raisins in the other, dark circles under his eyes from late nights reading and he’s covered in dust and debris from getting stuck behind the drywall again.

“You’re not mom and dad’s friends,” he’d say in a petulant voice with a familiar set of his mouth. “I’m gonna call my butler and he’s going to kick your butt.” And the whole League loses their mind because Bruce really has always been Bruce.

#Bruce being a perfectly normal child is broke #woke is Bruce was a Weird Little Girl before he ever had trauma #Alfred knocks on his door to call him to dinner and Brucie Wayne is performing a seance to raise his great great grandfather to find treasur #he definitely wrote on the walls and floor when he was thinking too hard and needed to write something down #DEF was that weird kid who liked sneaking up on people and hide in small odd places #No robin can hide from B or Alfred bc baby Bruce absolutely found all the good weird ass hiding spots a small child can wedge into #he carries weird shit on him at all times in case he needs it #he works so hard to be seen as smart and mature #he's a bit of a brat but in kind of a charming way bc he's so sweet and thoughtful #he gives his mom a frog he found in the pond for mothers day #he's still dripping wet and covered in pond scum and grinning so proud as he deposits the frog in her manicured hands #we need more weirdo baby bruce wayne

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