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capswarmedals · 4 months

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BBC GHOSTS: DEEP DIVE

"You're a bloody fool, James!" - Ben Willbond, Inside Ghosts: A Christmas Gift.

CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR CHRISTMAS EPISODE AND SEASON 5. BE WARNED.

Okay, just before we start, I WILL be referring to BOTH James and The Captain. Wait and see, your poor little dumplings.

We all know The Captain. Brave, stern, always has a stiff upper lip and of course, most obviously, he's an ABBA loving star. Joking (not really though)!! The most obvious part is that he is gay, but he hides it deep down inside himself. You'd have to kill him to find out or well, you know what I mean (/ref). That part deep down inside himself is James. James. The real person, the person under the mask, the villain, the mastermind of it all. Except that... James isn't really anything like The Captain. James is not brave, not stern, never has a stiff upper lift, but he's still an ABBA fan and gay. Incredibly, incredibly gay.

We know that he had a very, VERY strong crush on Havers (Anthony as I will be referring to) as evident in the Cricket Report in the Button House Archives and in Redding Weddy/Carpe Diem. Throughout the series, we see James fall for men. Mike ("Yes, he'd make a very fine soldier."), Adam, the director ("Yes, though I might just... Check."), Pat (even though it's not as obvious, but it's certainly there).

Many people, including myself, head canon James/The Captain to be autistic, and I can very much add some reason and proof to these reasons.

1. A very strict routine. This man will NOT let go of routine, and it is clear in 4x02 (Speak As Ye Chooses) where he states: "It's all very well saying 'At ease', but what do you do for the rest of the day?" and visible expression of shock and anger to finding out that a club was cancelled. As we come to the end of episode, where we see the man casually without his jacket on, he says "We've got forever" before immediately re-settling himself into his strict routine when being reminded of Film Club. But of course, this could be either that James is attracted to Captain America or is just reminded of his strict routine. This links into another point about change. In 3x05 (Something To Share?), this silly man agrees with Pat about how it is frightfully important to have an extremely strict routine. DON'T get me started on his almost coming out. (I will talk about this.)

2. Hyperfixations. This man has a hyperfixation/special interest in tanks, birds and basically anything remotely military related. He made a club solely dedicated FOR birds. He values his hyperfixations over secrets ("This is outrageous, I'll simply have to tell Fanny-" "No more war documentaries, then." "Your secret is safe with me, she'll have to kill me first- Well- You know what I mean."). 1x02, watching Hitler's Secret Superweapons "It's Christmas! I mean, it's Christmas Morning!" and when Mike turns it off... "What the bally heck do you think you are doing? Where the bally hell are the tanks?" "If you were dead, I would thrash your bottom, sir!". As like other autistic people, such as myself, taking away our hyperfixations isn't a good thing. We don't like that.

3. Masking/easily overwhelmed. (Basically what this deep dive is about). James is the true individual. The Captain is his mask, his shell. And he's been living in it for far too long now. He does not like change, and hates loud noises. This is clear when a club is cancelled in 4x02, and when he realizes the Queen's speech is televised in 2x07. He stress stims by using his swagger stick (Or Anthony's) and twirling it around in his fingers, he bounces a lot, he hums a lot, and whenever he matches about the place, he swings his arms depending on what arm the swagger stick is under (usually the right), and yes, I know that military marching is very exaggerating on the arms, but STILL, it's an output of energy that he does CONSTANTLY. I don't think I've seen anybody talk about the fact he hums. He does it SO MUCH.

4. Tone. Because of his ridiculous amount of gayness inside of him, this man cannot always understand straight jokes. 5x04, where they play Blankety Blank and he does not understand the word "saucy" (I mean, it is late 20th century/early 21st century slang...) and does not approve of the meaning. He gets jokes late, but that's alright because I do too.

ANYWAYS. Back to his pining.

In the first GIF, you see James check Adam out. This also happens in another scene with the quote "Do you find yourself to be distracted?" where he takes the moment to check Adam out yet again. In this second GIF, you see James slightly creep out when he realizes that he's openly saying he'll miss a man, with that look down, almost ashamed of himself.

But why does he fall for these men of order? Because it reminds him of Anthony, not because they're bossing everyone about - it's as if they're doing the bossing about for him, so he can relax and be himself. During Redding Weddy, we see Anthony order the unit around whilst James is looking outside the window (suppressing stims, but bouncing slightly on his feet) trying to spot Germans. I could see why James fell for Anthony. Despite everyone else, Anthony does not see these stims as annoying or his remarks to be unfunny. We see him SMILE when James makes a joke.

As we know, their love for each other was mutual.

He knew.

Anthony smiles after saying "James" and saying "I know". Why? He knew he was dying, he knew that James loved him, he knew why James was here. He wanted to be by James' side as he died to comfort him. To just be together, maybe once. Maybe twice. We don't know if they've held hands, kissed, but still. This is a very significant moment.

Additionally, Anthony's knowledge of James' intense crush is during their talk in James' office in Redding Weddy as it starts to reach a conclusion. Anthony subtly hints to the fact that if James should say anything, the moment is now ("Well, if that's all?").

He raises his eyebrow slightly, communicating to James that he is eager to hear what he really says, and that it's okay to be them because they're alone together. But no. The Captain completely hides James away. Anthony understands, he always has. The Captain probably hid James away because of Anthony's reaction to "I shall miss you, Havers." (his smile drops).

But... "I say, Havers?"

The way Anthony turns around. SO QUICK.

His smile. It's so ridiculously warm. But he knows because he saw that hesitancy, he saw James' sad expression. James is bally well sad that Anthony is leaving!!

Masking is clearly shown in this conversation. The Captain is preventing James from speaking the truth. And just like how he buried the limpet mine, he too, buried his feelings. And it became a ticking time bomb to Carpe Diem, where that emotional bomb finally explodes.

He leaves it to the last second. Literally. Let me show you proof.

Ben is absolutely AMAZING at micro-expressions, one of the many reasons I love to delve into The Captain so much. Carpe Diem (5x05) is an excellent example of some of the best James scenes.

Right here, what I am personally reading is that James is attempting to unmask, or is in the process of doing so. He deciding whether he should tell his story or not. This frame is important as it comes just after the quote "When I died, I never got to be surrounded by the people I loved." Blatant foreshadowing here because well, it shows that James loved Anthony and still does, despite it being 83 years since Anthony left of that year, he still holds him very dear to his heart. Of course, he has Anthony's swagger stick, which I love because he's always been there with James to help him out through moments. I love that and I love everything about that. How I ADORE Simon Hynd's directing here of the camera position, openly hinting to the fact that James died with Anthony next to him. God, everyone in that show is a mastermind!!

I also think that he is remembering here. Perhaps remembering the good memories? That Sunday afternoon stroll, or that certain Cricket Report? He's trying desperately to remember Anthony so he doesn't forget him when he moves on. For all he knows, he doesn't even know if Anthony thinks of him. All he knows is that he knew, and is most probably dead. He doesn't know what's beyond the veil. He doesn't know if he'll see Anthony. It's worth it.

This "desperate searching" facial expression is the same as the expression he had when glancing at the gate a few scenes prior to this, eyebrows furrowed and mouths slightly agape. It cuts to the gate, where we know, that in Redding Weddy, Havers walked out of. Anthony. Yet again, he's remembering him. James is obsessed with the memory of Anthony, the good times they had yet the good times they never were really good as laws about homosexuality were extremely strict. You could even say he is clingy.

Another thing is that, The Captain is one of the most favourite characters and people have been demanding to see how he died for ages! Why is it near the end of the last season? Well. I may have an idea to why it is in the last season.

James leaves things until the last second, he leaves the real explanation to things until it's too late. I saw someone on tiktok quote that James is as pretty as poppies because his love sprouts up in the wrong times and wrong places, which I think is amazing. I personally believe that his death was purposely the last one because you needed to see that he's more than just a stern WW2 CO with no feelings. He's an anxious man who's terrified of the real world so decides to seclude himself in a time and place where he was loved. World War 2. 1940. When Anthony loved him. We needed to see this inner secluded character within him to make the death sadder, which is what Ben likes, the silly man.

This also explains why he says "Is it? Is it, Alison?" during Redding Weddy because, well, with his mindset and attitude, he doesn't believe the war is over. He wasn't very good at keeping a unit of alive people under control, but perhaps he could try at keeping a whole bunch of dead people under control to keep himself busy from accepting the fact that Anthony is gone and he should emotionally move on.

In 4x04 (Gone Gone), the episode where Mary moves on, we see that James' coping mechanism is to keep himself busy. Keep himself busy so he doesn't have to focus on his feelings, but when he's given the time to pause and process it... He completely breaks down. Imagine that with Anthony when he left for North Africa.

But why does he like Pat?

Well. It isn't canon. But, the most recent Christmas special definitely hints at it. Pat introduced James to the amazing thing of baby talking, attempting to teach him just as Mia is put to bed. But once again The Captain's hard shell is back again and gives him a monotone voice and tone, rather making him seem like a robot. But at the end of the episode. He learned, and the glance he takes towards Pat is "Did I do it?" and Pat gives him a warm smile and a subtle nod. HUSBANDS I TELL YOU!

The Woodworm Men (3x03): Pat outbests The Captain with camping, yet they are still both very keen. The Captain trudged back though!! In this episode, James is awarded the teamwork badge from Pat, and when you see the scene, you can tell that he is smitten and in love. Because, now rewatching that scene with the context of his death, he must've been the happiest he had been in a while to achieve and properly earn a badge. James, I think, personally likes Pat because he still has all the leading roles (being a scout leader) and that reminds him a lot of Anthony hence why we see them working together in a lot of episodes (2x06, 2x02, etc). It all leads back to Anthony. Who knows what would've happened if they didn't meet.

I also think that Getting Out (1x06) is a good episode that represents self growth as well as debating with the issue of being mocked, as James is mocked in the episode.

This is him overhearing the conversation. Confusion. Anger. This episode is where James learns that not everybody will adapt themselves for him, not everybody will accept the way he acts. It's pretty clear that he cannot control this mindset he has, it was probably drilled into him, the poor soul. The way he brings himself back into the group is through a secret weapon (Kitty, because she's the most likeable and their relationship is mwah).

This episode is also important because of the scene in the library with James and Kitty.

"What matters more? Keeping Alison here, or letting her be happy?"

Now imagine that question but Anthony. James has sacrificed his life and soul towards Anthony, and even has a piece of him with him. This man is obsessed with Anthony. Crazily in love. He can't control his feelings for people. It just... Happens.

After Carpe Diem, it took me only a fraction of a second to see how comfortable he was. He was free to love who he wanted! I was stimming so crazily when the last scene of Season 5 (disregarding the Christmas special) was him being gay. Fanny comforted him after he came out, and every one supported him. He feels safe now.

The mirror and the draw in the intro.

Personally, I believe that the mirror represents the fact that his medals are the right way, meaning that the man in the mirror is The Captain and the man looking at his reflection is James. He's looking what he could've been. A hero. Yet now that he's come to terms with himself, James knows that he can be himself now. Free of judgement. Free of secluding himself away. I believe that the drawer represents him ever searching for more memories to grasp onto, more things about Anthony to remember. I also think it represents the fact that there is something inside of him that is worth looking for, and that thing deserves to be looked for and looked after. The draw is pulled out as far as it can go, so this could point to the fact that there is something buried within the house that needs to be found and given back to him. Could be the limpet mine. Or perhaps that William letter truly was a love letter.

OVERALL:

James is a different man to The Captain. The Captain is merely a costume or a nickname James wears knowing full well of the man he is underneath those perceived images of him. James is a coward. James is obsessed with Anthony. His heart has bled so much he has to rely on the small amount of attention from someone so he can carve it out and then offer it to those people who attention has been wasted on him. Ben is an amazing actor and writer who threads things together so subtly and sneakily it's insane. James won't let go of the military mindset, just incase he meets Anthony when he moves on. He thinks that no one will fall in love with the present him so he tries his best to act like his old self. Ben is right. You certainly are a fool, James. But oh, how I love your character.

#the captain x havers #bbc ghosts #the captain ghosts #the captain bbc ghosts #the captain #james x anthony #capvers #caphavers #bbc ghosts captain #captain x havers #bbc ghosts s5 #ghosts bbc #bbc ghosts season 5 #ghosts spoilers #character analysis #lgbtqia #hes gay #ghosts s5 #six idiots

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lollytea · 2 years

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I know it s partially due to Hunter still being a bit shy around Willow but i adore how she s showed to be the more chaotic one n Hunter loving that

Also beside her loving that dorky costume years of bullying made her afraid of expressing herself and it took a lot of work to regain this confidence (so happy for her!!) So as soon as she hear amity s jab willow thought "nonono you r not undermining this cute boy s confidence!!"

I have few hc about willow teaching Hunter what she knows about building yourself up like pep talks in the mornings.

Willow and Hunter are both so dear to me cuz Willow says silly shit like "Buff brains!!!" and does a dorky little pose which makes Hunter blush so hard because she's SO CUTE AND SO COOL.

Willow is so endearingly cringe sometimes. I expecially love her 'R U Cruisin 4 A Bruisin' sign that she looked so proud of. She's such a genuine girl that you KNOW when Hunter strutted out wearing his nerdy costume and she was like "that is a LOOK" she's being 1000% serious. Its not cuz its funny looking and she's making fun of him. She sincerely thinks Hunter is SO COOL. Fashion King. She's insanely into this.

And when Amity is like "please change :|" she's like "wah no!!! Why would he change?? He made it himself!!! Look at him!!! He's precious >:(!!!!"

Anyway YEAH. Hunter and Willow both spending most of their lives shying away from expressing themselves properly out of fear of judgement while their silly antics are a thing they love MOST about each other.

Willow is definitely new to being her true self but her confidence is contagious and Hunter is new to having a normal life and he can't really tell the difference between what's cool and what's cringe. His basis is people like Willow Park who's so unabashedly herself and is constantly encouraging him to indulge in the things he likes and showers him in attention whenever he does. So not only does Hunter think Willow is cool, he's started to think that HE must be pretty cool too. Willow certainly thinks so.

Anyway the Owl House writes neurodivergent teenagers with hyperfixations/special interests with such affection. Whether it be Luz and Amity and their shared love of Azura, Gus being called the "Human Expert" or Willow being Hunter's biggest cheerleader in his sci fi era. Its all so good and sweet.

#huntlow

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choliosus · 1 month

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Happy one year to the QSMP!!!!

There’s a lot going on with the server right now that is being sorted out, but I just want to share my appreciation for every part of this project.

This server means so much to me. I used to watch DSMP and it will always hold a special place in my heart, but as anything does, it ended. It was already dwindling out but I think the thing that really did it was technoblade passing. And I’m gonna be honest I’m still not over that. I watched him more than any other creator, he means so much to me. The time in between his death and the start of the qsmp was especially sad. I was just missing a lot. Him, the server he played on, that community, etc.

I wanted to engage with the content from the people that he played with, but it was hard. Every update about him, such as technodad streaming, dream making the song about him, was a lot emotionally.

Also not to mention I was sooo hyperfixating on both him and the dream smp as a whole. So it left a big void in my life. I wanted to be wholeheartedly invested in something again.

Around the beginning of 2023, I started watching old Quackity vods and that became my new comfort thing. Just the silly ones where he was watching soap operas and stuff.

Then not so long after I had started doing that, he announced the QSMP. I cannot describe to you my excitement. That week or so before it started I was just so excited. And before that lmaoooo I was not thriving. School was crazy busy, I cut my own bangs and it looked terrible, and that pretty much exemplifies where I was at.

I remember switching to slimecicle’s perspective at some point during the first stream and I followed him, fit, roier, and Mariana as they went mining and were very silly. I smiled the whole time. And then, I watched more the next day, and the next day.

I had forgotten what it felt like to be a part of something that was actively taking place. It had been a while since that was how the dream smp was. I would go weeks or months without any updates, and I would just be by myself reading fanfics.

It felt really fucking good to be able to enjoy something new. Not to replace what I had before, but to start a new adventure. That’s what it feels like to me.

There was a lot to keep up with at first and luckily I had social media to sum things up for me.

Fast forward and the Brazilian members join, then the French. Each time I was a little hesitant to accept them with open arms into my mind palace but it wasn’t very long until I couldn’t imagine the server without them.

And from day 1 I was so impressed with the planning and story of the server, forcing people to stay interested. That’s something the dream smp didn’t have. I honestly don’t think I would need any of the events to have a good time, but oh my god do they make it so fun.

And the animatics???? Hello?????? I love it so much.

Now I’ve learned to accept any new members immediately. Korean members join? TIME TO DRAW THEM!

Quackity started this project with a clear vision. It is so clearly a huge passion project for him. I don’t doubt for a second that it will keep going no matter what happens.

This server has exposed me to so many creators I would never have even heard of and that’s the point. I only speak English. Without this server, I would not know half of my current silly little blorbos.

I can’t believe how creative and funny Roier is. I think about Cellbit Bagi’s lore all the time. I find myself saying “I am the best!” After Etoiles. I’ve tried to absorb as much of the fuga impossivel lore as I can. I adore Baghera’s chaos. Even some of the English speaking people I didn’t really watch that much, like jaiden, fit, even slimecicle, who I now watch probably more than anyone else.

The other day, I watched the stream of cellbit and roier playing hospital 666. In Spanish!! I don’t speak Spanish!!! I only understood about half of what they’re saying and I’m sure that half is because of QSMP. That’s incredible. This is something so much bigger than any one of us.

QSMP has given me so many people to start watching and drawing/writing/thinking about. It has given me hours upon hours of laughing and smiling. It has given me a new hyperfixation to occupy my thoughts before bed.

It means so much to me. Ever since it started, I’ve been so much happier. I could never have imagined something like this would come around. Honestly, there is not anything like this. It is the first of its kind, hopefully not the last 👀

A year went by fast. And I’m so glad to have been here since the beginning. But even then, new people join this community all the time. That’s so cool. This server has in just a year added so many more content creators, and by extension, fans. It’s insane.

And I am so, so excited for what the future will bring us 😊

#qsmp #qsmp thoughts #QSMP anniversary #QSMP 1 year #happy birthday QSMP #qsmp appreciation #thank you quackity

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huskerdusthearted · 3 months

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Intro, DNI, and Interact List!!

Hello hello!! Soo I just completely remembered that I should make one of these so here I am!! We are The Echoed Stars Collective! TESCO for short. What does the O stand for, you may ask? Nothing! It's just funny to us :3

We mostly post about our hyperfixations, special interests, general interests, and overall silly shit!

We do NOT want the following interacting with us, please stay off our blog if any of these apply to you:

Basic DNI Criteria (Homophobic, Transphobic, Racist, ETC)

Endogenic/Willogenic/Tulpa/Etc "systems" and supporters

Mspec Gay/Lesbian, "Turigirl", "Lesboy", and any other "good faith" identities

Proshippers/Comshippers/Darkshippers, WHATEVER you freaks call yourselves

Anti Neopronouns/Xenogenders

Anti Self-DX

Furry haters, Gacha antis, Therian antis, generally shit on harmless interests/hobbies etc. ALSO if you support "cringe culture" gtfo!

Paraphiles, MAPs, AAMs, whatever the fuck. ROT.

Believe that "Doubles" exist. Introjects are their OWN PEOPLE.

Isreal supporters

"Pro-Life" (Anti-Abortion)

If any of these apply to you, please feel free to interact! We like these people:

Traumagenic systems

Neopronoun/Xenogenders/Microlabel users

Furries, Therians, Otherhearted, Otherkin, etc!

Age/Pet regressors

People with "cringe" interests ESPECIALLY MLP, cartoons, Roblox, gacha life/club, etc!

Fellow autistic folk & neurodivergents

FELLOW DISABLED PEOPLE!!!!

Non toxic DSMP, Hellverse, CRK, Genshin & PJSK fans

Shared special interests/hyperfixations!!!

Here's a list of our special interests, current hyperfixations, and general interests:

Bolded = Special Interest!

Hellverse

Genshin Impact

CRK

911 & Lonestar

Stranger Things

Older MCYTs like LDshadowlady, Smallishbeans, etc

MLP

Psychology

Music

Minecraft

Roblox

Stardew Valley

Ponytown

Yandere Simulator

PLEASE NOTE: I am very, very critical of my interests and I do not support problematic companies or creators in ANY capacity, especially not Yandere Dev, Hoyoverse, and Devsisters.

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angelpuns · 9 months

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Ranting anon will attempt to rant more about executive dysfunction but my brain is not working (probably because of that lol-) so this might not be the easiest to understand. So all three of working memory, cognitive flexibility and inhibition control are apart of "higher-level executive functions" executive functions themself are mostly your ability to control your behavior in almost every category.

Those three are the foundation of executive functions because they control if you chose to do something (inhibition), how you do it (working) and actually starting and finishing different tasks throughout the day (cognitive) all of which are your behavior. So doing things like problem solving, reasoning, planning, and again actually starting a task are controlled mostly by those things. And hyperfixations or special interests make dealing with those things even worse because those things take all of your attention which obviously affects your behavior, and we're back to the point of those three things being the core of your behavior. If all your attention is stuck on one thing, most of the things you do are going to be centered around that thing, reading about it, drawing, talking to people or creating your own stories regarding it (like comics lol.)

So because those things are sorta being centered around whatever it is you like, it makes doing anything else really hard and frustrating if it isn't related back to that thing. Hyperfixations and executive functions are connected like that, its why when you should be doing something else, you can't because all you want to do (inhibition control,) all you can think about (working memory) and all you can bring yourself to do easily (cognitive flexibility) is something that relates to whatever it is your interested in. It's all super complicated and hard to put into words because the brain is a very silly lil thing and it's different for everyone! It also can affect your emotions a lot because what you want to do isn't always what you actually do, you can want desperately to get up and go do something, but if it isn't something that excites you it's gonna be hard some days and that'll make you feel like shit, which makes it even harder. Your emotions and your behavior are very tightly linked, and if something you have to do doesn't get you those feel-good chemicals that make you happy, it ain't happening. And again because those behaviors are controlled by executive functions which aren't working the way their supposed to and get way too dependent on what you're hyperfocused on, it's gonna be a bad time.

Obviously, this sorta thing doesn't apply to every day, you can like something that isn't a hyperfixation and that makes it easy to still do that thing, but some days it's a lot harder than it is for someone who's executive functions aren't all outa wack and work the way they should (not as heavily reliant on you actually enjoying doing that thing.)

Most of this is sorta based off what I see happens with me and what i've connected to those issues and such, but a lot of the info I got for like what things actually are is from, again, the Cleveland Clinic website. And again, it isn't you being lazy, its your brain not doing what it's supposed to and making life harder! <3 (Again, psa, this may not be 100% accurate, do your own research if you want to, this is just what I've found and some of it is based off my experiences, some things you might not relate to, doesn't make you any less valid, it just means you have a unique experience, as does everyone else.)

Reading this from bed cause I can't get up BUT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE!!! When the happy juice isn't coming so you can't do the things you have to do smh

real and relatable asf!! Ty for the information download as usual RA <333

#i go back to sleep now #lmao #it is in fact one of those days

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the-one-who-lambs · 5 months

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Been looking at your blog for some time now. Never got to reading actually.

You know that feeling when you know there will be a hyperfixation but you sorta.. procrastinate having it? I am 100% positive i would consume all your works and demand more immediately, and, while cotl is nice.. i have other things to do i cant just. Lean into a hyperfixation again. I just started getting productive

Also as a person you seem very nice, saw you some time ago and now found you through a string of mutuals. I wish i could join in on the fun of cotl art and fiction but all the great writers and artists out there are making me doubt myself, and i am not really a good enough creator as is so, eh.

I just- really like you & your dedication n all that.. i was getting very worried of my time "running out" but the fact that there are authors like you that did not stop writing fiction after 18 is.. really, really comforting and important. Life doesn't have an expiration date that is set on your 20th birthday, and i will still be me regardless of my age. Yes, i will be different, but change is constant and life is better preserved in form of art. You and other creators in this fandom really inspire me. Especially since, well, cotl has a cutesy artstyle and a heartwrenching story.

All i'm saying is i admire you immensly, thank you for putting out your works for the whole world to see.

I started writing fanfic JUST as I started a PhD program and let me tell you that leaning into the hyperfixation (at this point, it's definitely a long-term special interest) makes it so much more bearable when things get difficult. Embrace it. Let it consume you. You'll be happier for it and I'm 100% serious, adults do not play as much as we should. 4 year old me playing with barbies and polly pockets is the same as 24 year old me playing with my silly gay animals.

Here's a secret: I doubt my own writing/art too. So does every other artist/creative you look up to! If you think you aren't "good enough" (and what kind of metric is that, anyway?) someone out there will enjoy your work. And talent is something you can hone, anyway.

Thank you for following along <3 But even if you did consume all my works, it would take you a while to get caught up lol, so don't worry about that

#hannah's rambles #<3!!!

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pumpkinpie59 · 1 year

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Hi again!!

Here’s a question for you! If you had to pick, what would your top five episodes be from both the 1987 and 2012 series? 😃

Thanks again, and have a nice evening! 😁

hi!

this was kinda hard lol. i love so many episodes in both shows but here’s my answer right now:

1987

5. the big cufflink caper

this one was an immediate favorite. it’s fun, silly, and clever. each turtle has their time to shine. the plot is so ridiculous but i found myself intrigued by the steps taken to solve the mystery. it’s great

4. take me to your leader

i love the concept of the other 3 turtles trying to lead in leonardo’s absence. it really shows why leonardo is so needed in the team, while showing why the other turtles have other roles. raphael doesn’t want to lead but can ground the team and is most likely to see things as they are, donatello is competent beyond belief but doesn’t have the focus needed to be leader, and michelangelo has the kindness and talent to lead but is ultimately too short sighted. it’s leonardo’s drive and ambition and confidence that make him a good leader and him needing to find that again and see that his brothers need him is such an interesting premise, and the episode is great at the execution imo.

3. four musketurtles

leonardo gets hyperfixated on a book, bonks his head, and wakes up believing his is the main character. it’s just so funny and cam clarke’s british accent reminds me of liquid snake which i find hilarious. idk it’s just fun.

2. beware the lotus

lotus is my favorite character beside leonardo so of course this was gonna be on the top five lol. i love lotus and leonardo’s dynamic, and i just love lotus as a character. even if we don’t get to explore lotus’ character very much, the episode does a great job establishing lotus’ abilities: her combat prowess, her smarts, her wit, and even her self respect. and the fact that she can defeat shredder so easily … mwah i love it.

1. farewell lotus blossom

hehe now here’s the episode where we explore lotus’ character more. she’s insecure about not fitting in or having a family/clan. and the fact that she feels comfortable around leonardo enough to cry and laugh and tease like AHSKAHAK PLEASE I LOVE THEM. the whole onion scene is my favorite scene in the show. i just wish we could’ve seen how she dealt with her new life without the spirit within her. and more leolotus obviously. the one thing that bothers me about the episode is that shredder and his group don’t show up after chakahachi takes the role of villain. they just leave and we don’t see them for the rest of the episode lol.

some special mentions bc this show is great:

teenagers from dimension x

the maltese hamster

green with jealousy

raphael meets his match

donatello’s degree

leonardo versus tempestra

splinter vanishes

unidentified flying leonardo

turtles on the orient express

i’ve only seen the first 4 seasons and the europe side season tho so i’ll have more opinions once i finish it lol.

2012

5. the insecta trifecta

i think this episode explores raph’a trauma and fear really well, and it is by far the height of the later seasons (ngl i am a season 1 fan lol). i love raph’s interactions with splinter so much. it shows how much raph has grown since season 1, and splinter’s counsel reflects it. instead of teaching raph as an angry child, he teaching him as a struggling almost-adult. he’s patient and understanding with him, and raph is more respectful and is able to try and talk through his struggles more easily. i love it. also i have a horrible sense of humor and the ant french kiss scene sends me into hysterics every time lmao.

4. in dreams

hehe i’m a sucker for worst fears/nightmare type episodes. also the ANIMATION IS SO COOL IN THIS EPISODE??? AND CASEY SAVES THE DAY??? AND APRIL IS SO WORRIED ABOUT THEM THE ENTIRE TIME???? man i love it. i love most of the farmhouse arc but this one is so good x3

3. parasitica

i’m not even a mikey fan and i have a huge fear of insects, especially wasps. so i legit have no idea why i love this one as much as i do. but the plot is so … small? compared to the other episodes. a majority of it is just in the lair, and the turtles are the only characters other than the wasps. and it works so well. the story flows great and you feel the urgency of the situation. also mikey banging his head into the table so he doesn’t pass out is funny to me idk. also. ALL HAIL THE BEAN … why wasn’t april there tho? she was living with them during this time lol

2. monkey brains

this episode is the best donatello episode idc. not only is it the start of april and donnie becoming best friends (before then it was super awkward lol and april wasn’t quite used to him yet), but also it shows donnie’s flaws, strengths, and insecurities so clearly. i wish later episodes were this good at exploring his character. it’s like they hit his magnum opus way too early lmao and didn’t know where to go afterwards. he over-thinks. with fighting. with hanging out with april. and with his insecurities … doesn’t think april will just say yes to hanging out so he has to come up with an excuse of some sort … takes a lot of issue with the word “monstrosity” (thinks he’s a monster and doesn’t like to be reminded) … and i haven’t forgotten about april. this episode marks the first major glimpse of her powers. and when splinter first offers her training. LIKE IDK I JUST ADORE THIS EPISODE.

1. fungus humungous

is it wrong to have criticisms of my fav episode? xD i love leo’s fear, and april’s, and i do believe that donnie’s is appropriate (to some extent), but the others aren’t explored very well imo. and i wish mikey’s was the parasitica wasps instead of the stupid squirrelanoids smh. but i genuinely enjoy watching this episode on repeat lol. idk what to say rlly. it’s just interesting to me.

and some honorable mentions

i think his name is baxter stockman

never say xever

panic in the sewers

new girl in town

enemy of my enemy

karai’s vendetta

operation breakout

slash and destroy

the invasion

buried secrets

race with the demon

eyes of the chimera

the fourfold trap

the arena of carnage

the war for dimension x

mutant gangland (messy execution; fun premise)

tokka vs the world

when worlds collide

it’s easier for me to think about seasons as a whole rather than just episodes tho lol

season 1 is good from beginning to end. some episodes are better than others, but it all flows rlly well imo. also top tier comedic timing and i personally love the quick movements and quirky speaking animation.

season 2 has rlly good highs but boring lows? it does have the strength of flowing well tho. individual episodes aren’t easy for me to like (other than fungus humungous, slash and destroy, and the invasion), but there are good scenes throughout the season.

season 3 starts out super strong (with the exception of bigfoot episode and frog episode). i love the farmhouse arc so much. but then the rest of the season feels aimless and messy. i don’t rlly like the brain worm thing. they didn’t want karai to be a good guy yet so they drew out the villain karai thing way too long. i like the finale but there’s very little buildup.

season 4 should have been two seasons. the space arc is pretty fun, but a lot of the episodes had weird pacing and i wish there was more imo? like you have so many things you could do with a space arc but didn’t explore them. and then the last half was … meh. it could’ve been its own season to explore the arcs more. let april’s possession be more drawn out and a bigger issue, let don vizioso have more of an impact (especially for donnie), let splinter’s death be better written smh. also i hate the finale lmao

okay so … tbh i haven’t finished rewatching season 5 lmao. so i don’t remember lone rat and cubs, the usagi arc, the monster arc, the apocalypse arc, and the crossover arc very well. i’m rewatching the show with my sister tho so i’ll get there soon lol. but i really dislike the kavaxas arc?? it’s so useless imo?? why is tiger claw leading a cult?? and why are they resurrecting shredder when he already killed splinter which was his entire life goal?? and donnie had such a small murder problem THAT SHOULDVE HAD MORE IMPACT??? ugh. i like when worlds collide tho ajskahsk top tier. hehe ramona and apritello brain go brrr.

anyway sorry for my weird rant lol. thanks for the ask ^^

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 1987 #tmnt rant #tmnt analysis #pumpkin stuff

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marshmellowtea · 1 year

Note

5, 7, 8, 15 and 21 <3

- @nsfwitchy

adfkadjfk thank youuuuuuu <3

5: Do you take drugs?

other than alcohol (which is a separate question so ik it doesn't really count ghdkajf) not really. i can't smoke weed cuz i have asthma and so that would Not Be Fun For Me lmao and i've only taken edibles like, twice? and i didn't have a lot of fun either time ahdfkljLKDF. i'm open to trying them again, but, yeah, weed doesn't really do it for me unfortunately, and i haven't done any of the harder stuff either lmao.

7: Have tattoos?

I DO AND I'M OBSESSED WITH IT.....i posted it here but here's a picture of it actually healed:

he's a little ghostface i got during a flash sale and i love him <3

8: Want any tattoos?

oh ABSOLUTELY, as with so many others, the first tattoo awakened a beast in me and the only thing keeping me from living out my dreams is a lack of money and a lack of concrete ideas XD currently, my most detailed plan for one is a bleeding heart plant that trails up one of my forearms, but i also know for a fact that i want an in space with markiplier tattoo (which may seem kinda silly but it's important to me so yeah <3), and maybe some other tattoos to represent past hyperfixations cuz that shit's always gonna be a part of me, y'know? also, on a sillier note, i had an idea for a tattoo based on a sprite of a danganronpa fan character holding a knife but tha one honestly might be a little too dumb even for me ahglkadjfk

15: Favorite movie

this is actually a really hard one cuz i'm not really a movie person? there's a lot of movies i like but they just don't tend to grip me the way other media does lol. if i had to narrow it down to a couple, though, i'll say: the john dies the end movie will always hold a special place in my heart despite the absolute butchering of the book in the latter half, humbolt county was. so good and everything i needed as a jeremy strong fan, jennifer's body is always a damn good time whenever we put it on and phineas and ferb across the second dimension is deserving of a rewatch from me because i've always loved it ghdnflkd

21: What I love most about myself

ARGH i'm being tricked into loving myself LMAO this is SUCH a pretentious writer answer but i've always loved my own creativity, like, i really mean it when i say that i'm never not writing a story in my head or coming up with ideas for plots and motifs and things like that. not all of it is super unique of course (stares pointedly at my constant making of aus that are technically distinct but are also so very similar to each other that i have to wonder what the point of them being separate is ghldskjf) but i also feel like i have a lot of interesting fic ideas as well as original ideas too, i'm really proud of them, honestly. i also feel like i have a really unique voice when i actually.....y'know, sit down to write things lol. i really wish a lot of my ideas actually made it onto paper because genuinely i think they're good!! i think i have a lot to offer in this department!! if only my brain would just let me RIP :'))

#nothing reminds me that i am one wordy motherfucker more than posts like these ghoisadjflk #marshy goes on and on and on and on and on #also in case you were wondering: yes that picture took way too long to get cuz i refused to ask someone to take it for me lmao #marshy gets asks #nsfwitchy #long post #ask to tag

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technofantasia · 1 year

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who is your favorite character of all time?

Sonic the Hedgehog

I could talk about how Sonic the franchise has been my one most consistent hyperfixation since I was really young and Sonic the character is by far my favorite part about it

I could talk about how he's the definition of complexity in simplicity and is WAY more interesting than he often gets credit for. Sure, he's a superpowered beast of a person capable of moving at supersonic speeds and wielding godlike power spoken about in ancient prophecies, but he's also, like... just a guy? He doesn't hold himself like he's anything particularly special because, as far as he's concerned, he isn't. When Shadow says to him, in awe of his unprecedented abilities, "What are you?", he says, "What you see is what you get, just a guy who loves adventure. I'm Sonic the Hedgehog!"

He's a hero, but not because he tries to be. He never does anything because it's 'the right thing to do', he doesn't agonize over decisions or weigh priorities against risks against his own happiness. He does everything he does for one, single reason, pure and simple: because he wants to! At his core, he's just a really nice person who likes helping people because he likes helping people and that's it. Everyone, both in and out of universe, expects there to be something else to it, but nah. By being so simple, paradoxically, he ends up being one of the most unique and interesting characters I've ever seen. I could talk about how unbelievably cool that is, and just generally how cool HE is because that is so cool and HE is SO cool sonic the hedgehog is SO COOL

I could talk about how, silly as it is, Sonic has and continues to inspire me into living my best life and being proud of myself. I could talk about how everything about him embodies everything I personally enjoy and value, and how I'm pretty sure my barometer of character goodness to a certain degree is just a measure of how similar a given character is to Sonic the Hedgehog

OR...... I could just post a picture of him and let that say everything for me

JUST LOOK AT HIM THEN LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THIS IS NOT THE PEAK CHARACTER OF ALL TIME

YOU CANT!!!

Because he is and I love him so much <3

#hunny rambles #hunny answers #sonic the hedgehog #wow could you believe it? (has had a sonic icon on every account ive ever had for over 10 years)#sonic said believe in yourself and dont worry so much and goshdarn it he was RIGHT #only sonic can pull off being so unbelievably corny and unbelievably cool at the same time #and that makes him perfect #sonic ilysm <3 #thank you for asking anon I really enjoyed answering :D #sorry it took so long im very slow #somewhat ironically #given.... yknow

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bl4ckasjet · 1 month

Text

Nate's blabbers #3

Being demi aroace is so weird. I can absolutely get a celebrity crush and be "in love" with them so fucking easily but when actually interacting with others ? Nah. I need a genuine emotional connection that takes a while to build. It's not as simple as "oh yeah they're hot I wanna date them". It takes time, I gotta learn more about you, I gotta spend time with you and form memories as friends before even falling in love, otherwise I'm just like nah. However, if I have a crush its rewl obvious.

OH BUT OH GOD CELEBRITY CRUSHES ?? JESUS CHRIST THOSE ARE CRAZY (probably because of how neurodivergent I am and a celebrity crush usually leads me to hyperfixate). No because like by now, if we're mutuals, you def know that I got a fat fucking celeb crush on Adam Gontier. Oh God I NEED to tell yall about how that shit happened, it's actually super dumb.

Okay so, on the 10th of January 2024 (yes, I got the date, WHAT ABOUT IT), I thought to myself "yk what I feel like rewatching the music video for Scars by Papa Roach". I went on YouTube and watched it. Very great time. I replayed it a few times because the song hits fuckin hard, then I let it end and a certain music video played. It was Pain by Three Days Grace !! I didn't pay much attention at first because I was playing games on my phone but then I peeked at the screen and saw Adam during the bridge and was like "woah woah woah lemme replay this shit". So, I replayed the music video and watched it. The bridge part came back and I was like "wait why's he kinda hot..." I couldn't stop rewatching the MV. I then proceeded to google him. (Now I knew of three days grace before, they are my first ever rock band I listened to when I was like what 3 yrs old on my dad's old ass iPhone). I saw images of him and was like "woah well okay this is def just a "wow he looks good" situation". I was wrong. Then I messaged @vahntoki like "BRO LOOK AT THIS GUY HES HOT HIS NAME IS ADAM GONTIER !!" Toki agreed and then I hissed at him. I'm now hyperfixated on probably smth I never expected to be hyperfixated on and its probably turning into my special interest im very happy about it tbh bc I LOVE IT ! Adam makes me happyyyy and I love seeing content of him. OH AND HIM AND HIS FAMILY ARE SO ADORABLE !! THEY SEEM SOSO HAPPY AND I FIND THAT AMAZING AND ADAM CENSORS HIS KIDS FACE FOR THEIR PRIVACY. I love seeing what kinda thing he's done or does. Little silly Grace man. Oh and saint asonia is amazing band by Adam too he made after leaving tdg SOOOOO GOOOD UGHHH I LOVE DIGGING AROUND AND FINDING SECRET ACCOUSTIC SONGS HE WROTE AND WATCHING HIS V-LOGS.

Okay this post is long I'm gonna stfu now LMAO

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funkylilfrog · 4 months

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I hate how much people on social media have watered down mental health terms.

No, you’re not “delulu😜😜😜” for pretending to think you have a chance with a celebrity.

Being delusional is not funny or silly or something you should want to be. Being delusional is scary and uncomfortable and ugly. Delusions are not “hehe maybe he’ll notice me🥺👉👈😖🧚‍♀️💖🌸” Delusions are (at least in my personal experience) “There’s people in my head but they’re just out of reach and they won’t talk to me but they’re there I know it” or “I am (insert fictional character). That is me, that is the life I lived and I have memories of it so it has to be real.” I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror because I didn’t look like the character my brain had convinced me I was.

It’s draining. It’s scary. It’s confusing. It’s lonely. It’s not some silly thing that should be taken lightly or aspired to be.

Even with less heavy terms like hyperfixation or special interest, they’re also not things that should just be thrown around.

(Anything I’m about to say does not include people who are ND, self or formal-DX. Self diagnosis [with proper research] is completely valid)

I hate when neurotypical people, especially on TikTok, throw around the words like they’re just another adjective. People like that don’t understand just how important and impactful those things are to ND people.

For us, it’s not just “Omg I love this show!” It’s closer to “I love this show! I have to consume every single related piece of media attached to it. It means so so much to me. I can’t handle when people criticize it, it physically pains me. This is the only thing my brain will be able to think about for the next several weeks (or even possibly longer).”

Hyperfixations and special interests aren’t things that we get to choose. They’re not just a hobby that we enjoy. They’re something that our brain has formed a deep attachment to. They’re something that brings us comfort. They’re not just some silly quirk of ours, they’re genuine facets of ourselves. They become part of who we are.

Another thing with this topic is people making fun of people’s interests for being more stereotypically childish or immature. People need to understand that it’s not someone’s choice to enjoy what they do. Also, it is not a negative thing to have childish interests. It’s good, healthy even, for people to be able to be able to find comfort in whatever they want to as long as it’s not hurting anyone else.

Again, this is all based on my personal experience and is absolutely not the same for everyone. Everyone’s experience is different and it would be stupid to assume that every single person’s experience is the exact same.

#tw vent #mental health #rant #vent #I’m so done with society #neurodivergent #neurodiversity

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ratsoh-writes · 3 years

Text

So I saw the matchups open and was so happy to be able to participate! Here is a bit of information about me:

Personality: Introverted

Patient

Always try to do what I think its Just and reasonable.

I am very physical affectionate with the ones I love (all the hugs).

A bit silly and childish, I am easily entertained and happy to go along with most activities.

Strenghts: Can talk about anything without getting angry, even if the other person is angry.

Will hear everyone’s side in a fight and try to find the middle ground.

Can respect people and agree to disagree.

I am open to learning anything.

If I put something into my head I will probably do it (Not today, not tomorrow, but the next time I hyperfixate on it, definitely!).

Weakness: Spend too much time “recharging” in my room, may be a bit lazy.

Face blindness, can’t recognize people and will smile at everyone looking my way(will never know if I know them or not).

Tend to bottle up my emotions, not very expressive.

No fashion sense, I either dress up (I have like 3 sets of clothes for weddings and big parties) or just pick the first thing I find (sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t).

Easily distracted and can sometimes turn off from the world.

Pet peeves: I like my things, if you are going to use my things ask first (DO NOT throw away my things).

I have bad memory, do not try to pretend I said or did something I did not (even if it’s a joke)

Pressuring me, talking like a drill sergeant it’s the fastest way to make me say “I won’t do it anymore, find someone else” (if it’s not important) or commit many avoidable mistakes in the task (if it’s important enough for me to stay).

Gifts… (yeah, I know) gifts makes me anxious, receiving everything (except for food or something silly) will make me feel like I’m not doing enough to deserve it, and finding something to give as a gift is a nightmare (I will handmake gifts thou).

Hobbies: Watching Movies, Series and Anime (specially Anime), also documentaries.

Writing, Drawing, Pyrography, Woodworking, Painting, Crocheting (Jack of all arts, master of none!)

Spending time on my computer (let me be a potato on the internet, I promise I will be a good potato)

No no’s: Wanting me to be something I am not, I’m all up for self-improvement, but I need time, not pressure.

Insults, I understand getting angry, but purposefully being cruel to a loved one just because you are angry says something about your character (and I will internalize it)

Lies, If you tell me something I will believe you, If I find out you lied, I will lose trust on you.

I’ve got just the man for you! You’re getting matched with RUST (horrorfell sans)!

Well first of all, your personality meshes well with rust. You’re both introverted yet affectionate, and also both have a small goofy side. Rust likes having someone he can just be domestic with without all the pressure of being over-the-top romantic.

You needing lots of time to recharge wouldn’t bother rust at all. honestly he’s the same way. Rust needs his daily dosage of alone time.

now for the no no’s; He’s still a fell, even if the famine loosened him up a bit. Rust does have his grumpy moments, but he doesn’t yell anymore, and he would never use someone else’s insecurities as ammunition. He’s not that kind of person.

dating rust would include:

This guy is a complete disney nerd comes with working at a daycare. play your cards right and you’ll get him into anime too, Just a hint, the gateway drug is studio Ghibli

Another thing you share a love for is woodworking! Rust is still a beginner, but he’s recently started getting into carving simple figurines and making birdhouses. It’s because noir has gotten interested in painting models

He is pretty quiet, and doesn’t need conversation to enjoy spending time with you. One of rust’s favorite thing is laying in your lap and napping while you tackle those videogames. Maximum comfort there.

#undertale imagines #horrorfell #matchups #submission

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lilyhoshikawa · 4 years

Text

Futaba headcanons master post time >:3c

Much credit to @a-missing-ache for talking to me a bunch about this girl so I could put this together~! Many of the ideas here were either ideas she had that I adopted, or things that came up in conversation with her.

- Autistic trans girl with depression, PTSD, and psychosis. Experiences paranoid delusions and visual and auditory hallucinations prior to her arc in the game. Prone to suicide idealization and intrusive thoughts. Susceptible to self-harm if her self-hatred goes unchecked.

- Some of her main special interests are computers, video games, and anime. She gets extremely hyperfixated on games that she really likes and will play them basically nonstop. She’ll play Animal Crossing for a full day if someone isn’t there to cut in and stop her.

- The coat she wears in winter is her favorite, it’s a very good texture stim and she likes to rub her face against the fluffy bit at the top. She also likes to stim with arm flaps or kicking her leggies, but she gets nervous about doing this in public.

- She wears her headphones pretty much all the time as a sensory tool. Often times she won’t have anything playing, but the headphones have a noise-cancelling mode that she leaves it on most of the time to avoid sensory overload and feel safer. She basically only takes them off if they need to charge or she knows it’s safe to. She panics when they run out of battery, but she has an additional pair of wired headphones to use when her main pair is charging. She has basically the longest battery life she could get on her wireless headphones, but since she frequently passes out at random times without turning them off or plugging them in they still die fairly frequently on her. She can’t go to sleep without some headphones on playing white noise or a podcast or quiet music from a video game.

- She goes nonverbal fairly frequently, and typically makes use of texting to communicate with others instead. If she’s alone, she’ll often call one of the other thieves (Ren most often) to have them talk to her and ground her, and sometimes speak for her if need be. After her initial arc, Sojiro learns about her texting thing and gets help from Ren with learning how to use a phone to text and starts using it to text her when she needs to.

- Sojiro’s curry is her staple food, and she eats it pretty much at least once a day for the most part.

- She’s a big coffee drinker, and she takes it black. Sojiro previously would make her a cup in the morning and bring some back from his work when he came home at night, with her leaving the room to make her own cup during the afternoon. She finds drinking it relaxing.

- Prior to meeting the Phantom Thieves, she experienced fairly regular hallucinations and delusions, often being convinced that her mother was in her room or was out to get her somehow. She would hear her mother talking to her or see her appear in her room and usually leave in a panic if she could manage to get up. Sojiro did his best to help her but really didn’t have the tools to understand what she was going through. After her Palace, she gains the confidence to be open with him about her experiences and is eventually put on medication to help with them. It doesn’t make it stop entirely, but becomes far less frequent and allows her to live a more normal life.

- She’ll sometimes have panic attacks which usually result in her laying in bed for awhile experiencing suicidal thoughts until they go away, but as time goes on she learns to manage these attacks a lot better, and avoid hurting herself or letting her intrusive thoughts run wild.

- Part of her shyness and social anxiety comes from a mix of autism, dysphoria, and a general lack of experience being out in the world. She’s easily startled and frightened and usually still needs someone to go with her any time she leaves the house. She likes to make herself small, which is why she frequently sits the way she does, and a lot of times she’ll just sit down on the floor, because she likes it there. She’ll frequently ask others to stop if she’s in too noisy of an area and begins to experience sensory overload, sit down on the floor in a quieter place somewhere and recharge.

- After the Hawaii trip, Ren decides to do video calls with Futaba sometimes so he can show her where he is or what he’s doing when she’s not feeling able to go outside that day. If she doesn’t want to show her face, she holds up a plushie or Morgana in front of her end of the screen instead.

- Part of her social anxiety is with presenting well in public, having fits of big dysphoria, and she’s pretty self-conscious about her voice, so she likes to do the texting thing a lot when she gets nervous and also just speak quietly sometimes, especially if it’s with Ren.

- She retains an issue with eating normally and still has a hard time convincing herself to eat sometimes, and will skip meals on occasion. She has a habit of texting one of the Thieves and asking them for permission to get a snack or a meal, and they always immediately tell her it’s okay, and that confirmation is enough for her. Sojiro sometimes takes her and Ren out for ice cream as a family bonding experience and she loves it. It was meant to be a one-off celebration after she recovered but she loved it so much Sojiro decided he had to make it a regular thing.

- She’s prone to taking depression naps, though before she starts recovering it’s less “depression naps” and more “she stays in her room with lights down and her curtains drawn so she has no concept of time and just kinda passes out and wakes up at random intervals with no consideration for what time it is”. She gets better about it but she falls back into weird and irregular sleeping patterns fairly often and she always hates resetting her internal clock. It’s at least easier than going until she collapses for days on end, though.

- She’ll often take naps inside her Persona, Navi, if she randomly gets tired while the group is just exploring and confirms they don’t think they’ll need her for some time. She’ll also sometimes nap in the Mona car. They’re safe, cozy little spaces that make her feel protected and comfortable so they’re prime napping spots.

- Ren has insomnia and Futaba has a really messed up sleep schedule so sometimes when they’re both awake at like 4am they’ll just text each other and sometimes play a game with one another to pass the time.

- She’s still very prone to nightmares and will sometimes wake up in a panic, and if no one is around it sometimes results in a full meltdown and in the worst case scenario she ends up getting hurt, so she tries to keep people on standby.

- She is, in fact, very funny and snarky when she wants to be, and is actually good at communicating her infodumps with humor and casual speech that makes it understandable for the others.

- If she’d not immediately involved in a conversation that involves a large enough group of people, she’ll just zone out until she’s mentioned again or feels a time to interject. Sometimes she’ll start playing phone games.

- She plays trading card games. She sometimes joins competitive tournaments online when she can, but is too scared to go to them IRL. She promises herself she’ll try it some day.

- As a disaster pansexual, she is very prone to developing crushes on any random girl at a coffee shop who’s even the littlest bit nice to her. She’s still got crushes on Ann and Haru, both of whom know it (it’s fairly obvious), but they don’t let her know that.

- She likes to pose, or do silly energetic motions just for the fun of it. She takes joy in just doing a little dance while she’s talking to someone sometimes. She likes to go “nya” also, especially around Morgana.

- She has nicknamed the position she always goes into whenever she sits (usually to make herself feel cozy and safe and also to be as small as possible) the “Futababall”.

- Before meeting the Thieves, she actually didn’t play multiplayer games very much, as even that level of interaction with others intimidated her to some degree. Ren was the first person she ever played video games with, and she kicked his ass at Smash Bros.

- She experiences periods of severe dysphoria during which she struggles to look at herself and often feels hopelessness or despair. During these periods Ren and Sojiro have taken to putting up a blanket to cover the bathroom mirror so that she can still shower normally and wash her hands and go in and out of the bathroom.

- Before her Palace, she would often go days without eating, or only eat once, through a mix of forgetting to eat, losing track of time, and convincing herself she didn’t deserve it. She sometimes relapses on this but is usually good about bouncing back after a day or two.

- The Thieves star making Futaba’s room one of their main meeting places because she feels safe and comfortable there.

- She doesn’t like it when her room is brightly lit up but if it’s pitch-dark with no lights on she becomes extremely anxious and terrified, gets jittery and sometimes has panic attacks or experiences visual hallucinations. Her preferred method is to use the light of her computer to keep the room dim, but bright enough to see everything, or having curtains half-drawn.

- She sometimes forgot to take her meds when she first started on them and this bothered her so much that she eventually began setting five distinct timers for each dose, and sometimes they’ll just all go off in succession when she’s with the group and confuse them all.

- She collects plushies of her favorite anime characters, because it’s merch you can hug!! She loves cuddling her plushies, especially when she’s feeling a bit nervous. They’re a nice sensory feeling, they remind her of her friends, and they feel safe.

- Sometimes when she’s having a hard time sleeping, she’ll invite Ren to come to her room to hang out while she falls asleep to help her feel safe. He’ll often invite Ryuji over for a date or something and she’ll help them set up a video game to play with each other while they’re there. Ryuji initially had a problem of yelling when he lost in the game and waking her up but he got better about it after awhile.

- Every morning around 5-6am Ren wakes up usually due to insomnia or nightmares and he immediately goes to check on Futaba to see if she’s asleep yet, he often finds her in her room on her laptop unaware of what time it is and when she sees him she does a little yell and jumps into bed and he reassures her that it’s ok before leaving and going back to bed.

- She likes to make fun of Ren for having a criminal record sometimes, noting that the hacking she’s done with Medjid is by far more illegal than him beating up a rich abuser once.

- She like spending time with the lady Phantom Thieves because she really likes girls and they all think it’s cute how gay she is, and try to give her tips about it. If Ren isn’t available she opts for inviting one or more of the girls to hang out with her and it makes her feel very good to be around them. Ann sometimes gives her some of her old clothes and it feels super validating for her.

#long post #rambles #persona 5 #futaba sakura #suicide mention #self-harm mention #ask to tag

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blooddrop-palace · 4 years

Text

Project Updates - What to Look Forward To

<3 Hello all! I've realized (humbly) that I have a small following of very nice people that seem quite interested in what I've written so far, and after seeing some mutuals post update-status posts, I thought I should share what's going on with my projects, also. (Thanks for the encouragement, @queenmuzz!)

Updated Dec-10-20

Sons of Fortune

Probably somehow my main focus now, though I am steadily working on other works. Currently working on the “In Between” special short before I start on Chapter 12.

I would also like to talk a little bit about my plans for this story: if anyone has paid attention to this story's tags, yes, I am touching up on the plots of most of the games. In fact, all of them, and the anime. (I already dealt with DMC4. No, I will not tear apart Fortuna lol.) Not all relevant tags are in, yet, because small spoilers. It looks like it's going to be a long while before I even get to the Temen-ni-gru, though. (There is a reason why that event is getting pushed back.) I want to have fun with the family fluff that is the twins each learning how to parent, first.

Hell Froze Over, and We Shall Reignite It

The drama of it all! Dante and Vergil are finally back from Hell, and Nero doesn’t even know his mother is now standing right in front of him. Meanwhile, even I’m anticipating seen how Snow and Dante is going to handle the obvious things currently unsaid... and I have a feeling a small measure of stupidity is still going to be involved.

Current chapter progress: Outline complete.

It's going to feel so interesting, shifting from "Fortune" back to Reignite. I get to write Sera and Vergil falling in love all over again, with a different set of circumstances. Whoa.

And, and... Nero meeting Sera... odd that I'm saying this as the writer, but I have a "I hope he likes his mom" feeling going on.

Also, no doubt Dante's brain is going to 404 when he sees Snow.

Nico prepares popcorn.

This is Not an Office Rom-Com

I have... about 8 new skits planned out. Nothing more written just yet.

That’s all I’m saying about this for now. =P

Hierarchy of Kings

Purely indulgent M/M romance of Vergil and an OC, existing all thanks to

@wordborne

Working on chapter 2.

I know I said 3 chapters only. I might have lied depending on how much I want to write. It's supposed to be just... awkward fluff of a listless part-devil who somewhat-recently lost his mate, got in a bit of a tiff with his brother, and now his children are trying to set him up with the prospective-king-of-hell, Vergil.

I think about this one a lot but I haven't written anything new for it yet, only because "Fortune" is taking over my life right now, haha.

Through the Lens of the Beholder

Okay, so...This story has no real plot. As a result, my drive for it is purely down to "if I think of a badass or cool photograph to describe." There is a TINY bit of plot. Only a little. And I don't know when I'll update. But this is why I'm trying not to START new projects. Four is a lot already! But because this one is supposed to be simpler than the other two, I will most likely finish this one before the others, so I can open a new project.

---------------

Speaking of new projects... Here are things ideas bouncing through my head:

- I still have a prompt from @maybeishouldwait sitting in my inbox. I WILL have it done one day, when I find the perfect way to write it.

A whole, entirely royally late set of Dadgil week fics. Yep. I want to write them. They just won’t be on time.

Written in Ink

A plot-less post-DMC5 story.

I say plot-less. There is a plot. The plot is:

Dante: Damn it, Verge, are you trying to turn my office into a zoo??

In which Vergil compulsively starts contracting strong demons he's defeated, left and right, because he's discovered "the joy of pets." The demons all take on a dark animistic form and things get wild.

A Persona and DMC fusion/AU

I have no title for this yet, and I absolutely cannot start this one until I have finished one of my other big projects. This one will take a lot of big planning, because I am making a new plot, using the mechanics of Persona, with DMC characters and setup.

What I want to write, is a teenage Nero as the protagonist, trying to solve a mystery... probably starting with the sudden disappearance of his mother. (Most likely Sera.) And he meets a lot of "new" people, and even finds new family... and yes, he will find his dad. (I'm thinking he'll know about Vergil, though. At least in name and a photo? Isn't that an interesting difference?)

For those of you not familiar with Persona, the major theme I really want to play with is that of the protagonist growing as a person (and in power) by befriending different people that helps them grow as a person. Each party member and important NPC is represented by a Tarot Card, signifying the type of journey the protagonist (The Fool) "embarks" with that character. There is growth in both the protagonist and that characters.

Again, this is ambitious to try and pull off... but it's in the back of my head. I'll focus on it once I've cleared some other stuff.

Sugar Sweet

A somewhat short-chapter series reader fic... of a surgeon/doctor!reader (barely 30 and good at what you do) who often saves the lives of shady people (e.g. mafia) because you care about saving lives, not the politics. But you do make good money out of it. (Hey, you gotta be at least a bit morally ambiguous if you're going to deal with devils.)

You meet one mess of a young mercenary named Dante, who is totally not human and deals with things like having bullets healed into his back, and he can't reach them to cut them out.

Dante doesn't care about bills for his office, or a lot of the debts in his life. You don't know where his money is going, or if he even makes much money at all (for the kind of specialty work he does? Money's going somewhere, but that's none of your business.)

You won't pay Dante's bills, or his debts, but he will accept pizza and ice cream. And new parts for his jukebox. And maybe a motorcycle. Or a new coat. Or a new car...

And you might complain to him about your dumb patients. Or just listen to him talk about his job. Or you two watch a movie together.

And this just continues. For years.

Tokusatsu DMC fusion/AU

So. First thing's first: I'm a big fan of Sentai/Tokusatsu. What is that, you might ask? It's a Japanese genre, and if you're familiar with Power Rangers, that's derived from Sentai.

Basically: Masked heroes with transformation gadgets, sometimes with motorcycles, fighting against evil. ("Magical girls" but strictly the opposite, a lot more physical combat involved, may involve upgrade gadgets, and not strictly limited to male heroes though mostly a male cast. Also not strictly for male-only audience. Girls like the eye-candy, too. :eyes-emoji:)

Why am I thinking about this?

Because I have found out that: Vergil's VA, Dan Southworth, was the Quantum Ranger (WHICH WAS RED). Nero's VA, Johnny Yong Bosch, was a Black Ranger and a Green Ranger.

...And Dante's VA, Reuben Langdon, had a role in a Japanese Toku show as "B-Fighter Yanma" forever ago???? (HE WAS BLUE!!)

What am I going to do with this info? I'll let you know later. But my Sentai/Toku-loving little heart is about to burst with hyperfixation overlap.

If I ever write this out, expect it to be just as cheesy as an actual Kamen Rider show. Or, at the very least, expect some art. I love Kamen Rider stuff!

Family Fantasy MMO

Snow introduces Dante, Vergil, Nero, and Kyrie to Final Fantasy 14 (because that’s the MMO I play) for family bonding. Yep. Mainly for silly indulgence.

Stardew Valley Visit

Post DMC5, Vergil and Dante accidentally end up going on a vacation when they try to leave Hell. No pairing with the farmer, but instead just a relaxing and somewhat introspective moment of the boys being stuck with most of their power temporarily sealed, learning how to take care of a farm, and maybe do a bit of healing by interacting with the townsfolk while they try to find out where their swords went and how to get home.

Re-Colourize

Otherwise what I would call the “re-colour of Nero and Snow” AU.

What if Vergil was found by Kassy’s family and raised among them? What if Dante ended up briefly in Fortuna and then convinced Sera to run away from the island?

What if we have a Nero who, though brash, is outwardly more soft and open-hearted, and has red-orange and gold colours instead? What if we have a Snow who is named Chiyuki, who wields her katana more like Vergil does, and has a more ice-queen aura about her, and has a teal and blue colouring about her?

This is my excuse to switch up the pairings, but also write Vergil being taught to fight more like an assassin.

Raised by the Blade

Imagine: Yamato, cracked, broken, and separated from her Master... desperately searching for a way to get back to him, and ended up washed up on the shores of Fortuna. Humanoid, but clearly not if anyone saw the cracked, broken, and no-normal look of “shattered” in her torso, that she would have to keep covered.

Made from the power of Sparda, she is pale with white hair... and she finds herself drawn to the orphanage...

Where she finds the toddler that is Nero.

Devil Hunters’ Podcast

Nico “accidentally” finds entertainment in recording the Sparda Family arguments as they talk about hunting; after all, they all share one braincell.

Ascended Monochrome

A white angel remains by the side of Nelo Angelo. Mundus was not pleased by the behavior of his second creation, from the human woman that he had picked up with the treacherous Son of Sparda. But he later discovered that by using her, he could keep Nelo Angelo complacent. Eventually, underestimating love will be his downfall.

Fall to Royalty

A story of where Vergil wins against Mundus the first time, and takes the throne of Hell. But what is he to do next? Eventually, ruling Hell seemed meaningless when there was no one by his side, so he goes to seek out the Lady Knight that he had vowed to never think of or go back to unless he had obtained the power he sought.

Doppelganger Woes

So, I heard Capcom retconned Gilver to be some sort of imitation created by Mundus. I’m all for this! And I’m going to DO something with this.

Side-Project: DMC Tarot List

I started on this maybe months ago; and I have a tentative list oh what characters go with what card and a few detailed descriptions. I think I should confer with

@harlot-of-oblivion

at some point about this, and anyone else interested in, well, Tarot stuff.

#devil may cry #fanfiction #Project Update

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arofili · 4 years

Note

Pov

POV — something that’s already happened, retold from another character’s perspective

a snippet from and Love, but Lucretia’s POV:

“Siblings, maybe?” Magnus wonders. After a moment, he pulls a face and shakes his head. “Nah.”

Lucretia nods, staring up into the night sky and remembering with a twinge of sadness the siblings she left behind.

“That doesn’t really capture it, either,” she says. “You all are my family, of course, but it’s not like the family I had back home.” She had two sisters, back on their home plane, but Claudia and Augusta were both much older than her and they’d never been close. Not like she’s close with Magnus.

And she’s been thinking about how close she is to Magnus. They’ve got something special, something that’s got her second-guessing herself sometimes even though she knows they’re both aro. Being siblings, with that kind of a feeling, felt…wrong.

“Yeah,” Magnus says, disturbing her thoughts. “I mean, Taako and Lup are siblings. Duh. And I’m not their brother. Plus, that would be weird with Barry and Lup.”

Lucretia agrees wholeheartedly. “Merle and Davenport are too old to be even sort of like our siblings.” She lets out a snort of laughter. Her sisters back home were older, sure, but not that much older. “And—well, maybe the captain is sort of our dad—” a better one than she’d had back home, that’s for sure— “but he’s also our boss, and also I feel like we know way too many things about Merle’s sex life for him to be anything other than a weird uncle.” At least he wasn’t skeezy about it.

Magnus is quiet for a moment, his nose all scrunched up like it is when he’s thinking, and a wave of affection washes over her. He’s adorable. And just when she thinks that she bites her lip and is glad he’s staring up at the sky and not her face, because that thought is so sappy it hurts.

“They didn’t make words for this kind of a family,” he says at last.

And oh has Lucretia thought about that, for so long, before she ever knew the Starblaster crew. When she was realizing that hey, she didn’t want to get married like her sister Claudia or have kids like her sister Augusta. When she was trying to figure out what kind of family she wanted in the future, and nothing she could imagine made any sense. When a few cycles in she sat crying in her room because she was so confused with what to do with this love she felt for her crew. When she’d done the same thing just a few nights ago because of how deeply she cared for Magnus.

But she doesn’t say any of that. “I can try my hand, if you want,” she says, and she forces a smile onto her face. She’d already tried, a couple dozen times, but even her skills as a wordsmith had failed her.

There was a word she’d known, once. Lucretia is shy, and she was even more shy before this journey began, and she had never been one to attend support groups or meetups for other aros. But that didn’t mean she didn’t read about them and listen to the people who did, and she knew about queerplatonic relationships. For awhile they’d been a distant concept, but now…

Even considering that her feelings for Magnus may be queerplatonic, not romantic after all, left her scared. What if she was being presumptuous? What if he laughed at her? What if he thought the idea was stupid, and that she was being silly?

“You know…” she began, but the words caught in her throat again.

She’d gone over the conversation a thousand times in her head, had almost brought it up just as often. But she always chickened out before saying anything, even when Magnus was so kind and loving with her and listened to her talk about things he only kind of understood and gave her silly gifts and made an effort to keep up with her ever-changing hyperfixations. He made it so clear he loved her, even now as he patiently waits for her to continue, and she’s still scared.

He waits, and keeps waiting, and Lucretia steels herself. Fuck it, she thinks, because if she wants this they’ve got to talk about it at some point and he’s clearly interested in putting words to what he’s feelings, so she might as well provide some.

“There is a words for a relationship that’s not romantic and not familial but also not quite…platonic,” she chokes out.

His eyes light up. “Huh?” he asks, rolling over to look her deep in the eyes, and Lucretia remembers that oh my god Magnus never even had the chance to learn about this stuff. He only realized he was aro because of me. How could I keep this from him?

“It’s an aro word, actually,” she says, and she rolls over to face him, her heart beating like crazy. “Queerplatonic.”

“Huh!” Magnus exclaims. “Queerplatonic. Neat!”

He makes the word sound so simple, so easy, when to Lucretia it was the messiest, most confusing thing in the world. But there’s a rightness and a solidity to his voice, and she feels less like she’s pulling this all out of her ass and more like she’s putting a name to something that’s been at the tip of his tongue this whole time.

Suddenly she’s flooded with relief and she can’t stop talking. “People use it in different contexts,” she says, “But it’s—I don’t know. It’s not something I ever thought I’d relate to, but maybe it would fit in this context. At least—” and she gathers all her courage and ignores the part of her brain that’s shorting out with anxiety— “between me and you.” The words come out softer than she meant them to, and she’s seized with the urge to shut her eyes tight and pretend he’s not there.

But Magnus doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t shoot her down. Instead, he draws her close into a hug and murmurs, “I like it. Suits us.”

The world falls still, or at least Lucretia’s heart does. She can’t find words as a warmth blossoms up within her that makes her feel lighter than she ever has before, filling her with hope and trust and love.

“We’re queer, and we’re family, and friends, and all of the above.” Lucretia can hear the smile in his voice. “Dunno if it fits like, how we relate to Taako and Lup and Barry and all them, ‘specially since it’s an aro word, but I think it’s good for us.”

He might as well have said, Lucretia, I love you in a way that is different from how I love everyone else and I think that’s important and I want you to know that. Because that’s how she’s felt about him, and she was terrified he didn’t feel the same, but now she knows. Well, she’ll ask him in those words later, just to make absolutely sure, but for now…

She opens her eyes and she’s beaming and Magnus is beaming right back and she hugs him tighter and she didn’t think he could say anything more endearing than what he already has but then—

“I love being aro,” he admits, and it sounds like a secret he’s reserved just for her and she melts because yeah, this is his journey but she was an important part of that. “I used to be afraid of it, but like—what the hell is there to be afraid of?”

Sometimes Lucretia is amazed at how deeply her aro experience aligns with his, especially since he’s bi and she’s ace and their questioning experiences were so different. But that hits home.

“I’ve got you everyone forever,” he finishes, and Lucretia remembers just how fucking lucky she is. “Literally.”

“Me too,” she whispers, close to tears, and she thinks back on little baby Lucretia and how terrified she’d felt upon realizing she’d never get the picture-perfect happy ending like her sisters had. She was so proud of that person who’d turned into the Lucretia she was now. “I thought I’d never be happy because I’d never find my soulmate. But that is bullshit. I’ve got something way better.” She leans her head against his chest and she really is crying, isn’t she. Well, why not, after all, because— “I’ve got you.”

#taz #taz fic #taz balance #magnus burnsides #taz lucretia #magnus #my writing #tefain nin #my fic #ask games #and Love #buffintruder #answers #this got Way longer than anticipated #qp magcretia #magcretia #i've got you

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