#which is why half the text is written lol

[pebbleyoufindonthestreet]

Oh, looks like your copy of Undertale had an extra attachment.. It looks like you’ve got a sans on your computer now..?

He’s fun to have! Just uh.. don’t forget you’ve got company now, alright?

Luckily, communication isn’t a problem!

.. Whoops.

(Don’t worry though, he likes you!)

Should I draw him in your walls next? <3333

#the amount of time I spent on the desktop background is embarrassing.. #I HATE using the procreate text tool ;-; #which is why half the text is written lol #also also #since hes a file on your computer.. you could probably reprogram his file #so.. you could tweak him howerever you’d like.. #you could also delete him whenever you want.. Even with some protest it could be done #which can cause a lot of existential dread for this poor skeleton lol #but I think he trusts you #sans #undertale #sansnomaly #sans x you #silly art #this flavor of sans simp-ery is escpecially concocted for me dude

[polutrope]

The Third Kinslaying

A Silmarillion question that never ceases to trouble me, and for which I am not sure I will ever come up with an answer that satisfies me: What were Maedhros and Maglor’s justifications for taking Elrond and Elros after the sack of Sirion? 

I know many people are satisfied with emotion-based reasoning, but that alone just doesn’t work for me personally. I read Maedhros and Maglor at this point in the narrative as very tormented, yes, but still capable of weighing logic and emotion at the same time. I also don't think the tone of the text supports outright villainy and ruthlessness (though that's a valid hc, especially from a non-Feanorian pov).

I’m not going to dive into my interpretation (I’m writing a fic for that), but I wanted to share the evidence and highlight what I think is the (Doylist) explanation for why the question is such a tough one to crack: None of Tolkien’s drafts covering this event* took the character of Gil-galad (or Círdan, though he was a character and not ret con'd like G-g) into consideration. He was simply not a factor in any of the versions published in HoMe. 

If you’re like me and love the ‘textual archaeology’ of figuring out how the published text was derived (and since I bothered to type them all up) here are all the drafts of the third kinslaying alongside the published Silm. (There's good stuff in here for enjoyers of Elwing, Maedhros, and Maglor, too -- and haters of Amrod and Amras lol.)

*unless there are unpublished notes or notes that have evaded me somewhere

Book of Lost Tales (late 1910s/early 1920s)

In BoLT, the Havens are sacked by Melko. 

Sketch of the Mythology (1926-30)

The sons of Fëanor learning of the dwelling of Elwing and the Nauglafring [=Nauglamir] had come down on the people of Gondolin. In a battle all the sons of Fëanor save Maidros [footnote: > Maidros and Maglor] were slain, but the last folk of Gondolin destroyed or forced to go away and join the people of Maidros [footnote: Written in the margin: Maglor sat and sang by the sea in repentance]. Elwing cast the Nauglafring into the sea and leapt after it [footnote: My father first wrote Elwing cast herself into the sea with the Nauglafring, but changed it to Elwing cast the Nauglafring into the sea and leapt after it in the act of writing], but was changed into a white sea-bird by Ylmir [=Ulmo], and flew to seek Eärendel, seeking about the shores of the world. Their son (Elrond) who is half-mortal and half-elfin [footnote: This sentence was changed to read: Their son (Elrond) who is part mortal and part elfin and part of the race of the Valar], a child, was saved however by Maidros.”

The Quenta Noldorinwa (1930)

I

The dwelling of Elwing at Sirion’s mouth, where still she possessed the Nauglafring and the glorious SIlmaril, became known to the sons of Fëanor; and they gathered together from their wandering hunting-paths. But the folk of Sirion would not yield that jewel which Beren had won and Lúthien had worn, and for which fair Dior had been slain. And so befell the last and cruellest slaying of Elf by Elf, the third woe achieved by the accursed oath; for the sons of Fëanor came down upon the exiles of Gondolin and the remnant of Doriath, and though some of their folk stood aside and some few rebelled and were slain upon the other part aiding Elwing against their own lords, yet they won the day. Damrod [=Amrod] was slain and Díriel [=Amras], and Maidros and Maglor alone now remained of the Seven; but the last of the folk of Gondolin were destroyed or forced to depart and join them to the people of Maidros. And yet the sons of Fëanor gained not the Silmaril; for Elwing cast the Nauglafring into the sea, whence it shall not return until the End; and she leapt herself into the waves, and took the form of a white sea-bird, and flew away lamenting and seeking for Eärendel about all the shores of the world. But Maidros took pity upon her child Elrond, and took him with him, and harboured and nurtured him, for his heart was sick and weary with the burden of the dreadful oath.”

II

Upon the havens of Sirion new woe had fallen. The dwelling of Elwing there, where still she possessed the Nauglafring [footnote: > Nauglamir at both occurrences] and the glorious SIlmaril, became known to the remaining sons of Fëanor, Maidros and Maglor and Damrod and Díriel; and the gathered from their wandering hunting-paths, and messages of friendship and yet stern demand they sent unto Sirion. But Elwing and the folk of Sirion would not yield that jewel which Beren had won and Lúthien had worn, and for which Dior the Fair was slain; and least of all while Eärendel their lord was in the sea, for them seemed that in that jewel lay the gift of bliss and healing that had come upon their houses and their ships. And so came in the end to pass the last and cruellest of the slayings of Elf by Elf; and that was the third of the great wrongs achieved by the accursed oath. For the sons of Fëanor came down upon the exiles of Gondolin and the remnant of Doriath and destroyed them. Though some of their folk stood aside, and some few rebelled and were slain upon the other part aiding Elwing against their own lords (for such was the sorrow and confusion in the hearts of Elfinesse in those days), yet Maidros and Maglor won the day. Alone they now remained of the sons of Fëanor, for in that battle Damrod and Díriel were slain; but the folk of Sirion perished of fled away, or departed of need to join the people of Maidros, who claimed now the lordship of all the Elves of the Outer Lands. And yet Maidros gained not the Silmaril, for Elwing seeing that all was lost and her child Elrond [footnote: > her children Elros and Elrond] taken captive, eluded the host of Maidros, and with the Nauglafring upon her breast she cast herself into the sea, and perished as folk thought. [...] But great was the sorrow of Eärendel and Elwing for the ruin of the havens of Sirion, and the captivity of their sons, for whom they feared death, and yet it was not so. For Maidros took pity upon Elrond, and he cherished him, and love grew after between them, as little might be thought; but Maidros’ heart was sick and weary [footnote: This passage was rewritten thus: But great was the sorrow of Eärendel and Elwing for the ruin of the havens of Sirion, and the captivity of their sons; and they feared that they would be slain. But it was not so. For Maglor took pity upon Elros and Elrond, and he cherished them, and love grew after between them, as little might be thought; but Maglor’s heart was sick and weary &c.] with the burden of the dreadful oath.

Earliest Annals of Beleriand (AB 1) (1930-37, prior to AB 2)

AB I

225 Torment of Maidros and his brothers because of their oath. Damrod and Díriel resolve to win the Silmaril if Eärendel will not yield it up. [...] The folk of Sirion refused to give up the Silmaril in Eärendel’s absence, and they thought their joy and prosperity came of it. 229 Here Damrod and Díriel ravaged Sirion, and were slain. Maidros and Maglor gave reluctant aid. Sirion’s folk were slain or taken into the company of Maidros. Elrond was taken to nurture by Maglor. Elwing cast herself into the sea, but by Ulmo’s aid in the shape of a bird flew to Eärendel and found him returning.

AB II does not go this far.

The Later Annals of Beleriand (AB 2) (1930-37, after AB 1)

325 [525] Torment fell upon Maidros and his brethren, because of their unfulfilled oath. Damrod and Díriel resolved to win the Silmaril, if Eärendel would not give it up willingly. [...] The folk of Sirion refused to surrender the Silmaril, both because Eärendel was not there, and because they thought their bliss and prosperity came from the possession of the gem. 329 [529] Here Damrod and Díriel ravaged Sirion, and were slain. Maidros and Maglor were there, but they were sick at heart. This was the third kinslaying. The folk of Sirion were taken into the people of Maidros, such as yet remained; and Elrond was taken to nurture by Maglor. But Elwing cast herself with the Silmaril into the sea, and Ulmo bore her up, and in the shape of a bird she flew seeking Eärendel, and found him returning. 

Quenta Silmarillion (1937) and The Later Quenta Silmarillion (1950s). These drafts were left incomplete and do not cover the events of the third kinslaying.

The Tale of Years (1950s)

Texts A, B

529 Third and Last Kin-slaying

Text C

532 [> 534 > 538] The Third and Last Kinslaying. The Havens of Sirion destroyed and Elros and Elrond sons of Eärendel taken captive, but are fostered with care by Maidros. 

Text D2 (ends at 527)

512 Sons of Fëanor learn of the uprising of the New Havens, and that the Silmaril is there, but Maidros forswears his oath.  [...] 527 Torment fell upon Maidros and his brethren (Maglor, Damrod and Díriel) because of their unfulfilled oath. 

Letter 211 (1958)

Elrond, Elros. *rondō was a prim[itive] Elvish word for 'cavern'. Cf. Nargothrond (fortified cavern by the R. Narog), Aglarond, etc. *rossē meant 'dew, spray (of fall or fountain)'. Elrond and Elros, children of Eärendil (sea-lover) and Elwing (Elf-foam), were so called, because they were carried off by the sons of Fëanor, in the last act of the feud between the high-elven houses of the Noldorin princes concerning the Silmarils; the Silmaril rescued from Morgoth by Beren and Lúthien, and given to King Thingol Lúthien's father, had descended to Elwing dtr. of Dior, son of Lúthien. The infants were not slain, but left like 'babes in the wood', in a cave with a fall of water over the entrance. There they were found: Elrond within the cave, and Elros dabbling in the water. 

The Silmarillion

Now when first the tidings came to Maedhros that Elwing yet lived, and dwelt in possession of the Silmaril by the mouths of Sirion, he repenting of the deeds in Doriath withheld his hand. But in time the knowledge of their oath unfulfilled returned to torment him and his brothers, and gathering from their wandering hunting-paths they sent messages to the Havens of friendship and yet of stern demand. Then Elwing and the people of Sirion would not yield the jewel which Beren had won and Luthien had worn, and for which Dior the fair was slain; and least of all while Earendil their lord was on the sea, for it seemed to them that in the Silmaril lay the healing and the blessing that had come upon their houses and their ships. And so there came to pass the last and cruellest of the slayings of Elf by Elf; and that was the third of the great wrongs achieved by the accursed oath.  For the sons of Feanor that yet lived came down suddenly upon the exiles of Gondolin and the remnant of Doriath, and destroyed them. In that battle some of their people stood aside, and some few rebelled and were slain upon the other part aiding Elwing against their own lords (for such was the sorrow and confusion in the hearts of the Eldar in those days); but Maedhros and Maglor won the day, though they alone remained thereafter of the sons of Feanor, for both Amrod and Amras were slain. Too late the ships of Cirdan and Gil-galad the High King came hasting to the aid of the Elves of Sirion; and Elwing was gone, and her sons. Then such few of that people as did not perish in the assault joined themselves to Gil-galad, and went with him to Balar; and they told that Elros and Elrond were taken captive, but Elwing with the Silmaril upon her breast had cast herself into the sea.  Thus Maedhros and Maglor gained not the jewel; but it was not lost. For Ulmo bore up Elwing out of the waves, and he gave her the likeness of a great white bird, and upon her breast there shone as a star the Silmaril, as she flew over the water to seek Earendil her beloved. [...] Great was the sorrow of Earendil and Elwing for the ruin of the havens of Sirion, and the captivity of their sons, and they feared that they would be slain; but it was not so. For Maglor took pity upon Elros and Elrond, and he cherished them, and love grew after between them, as little might be thought; but Maglor’s heart was sick and weary with the burden of the dreadful oath. 

#meta #third kinslaying #maedhros #maglor #elwing #amrod #amras #elrond #elros #gil galad

[kremlin]

How DOES the C preprocessor create two generations of completely asinine programmers??

oh man hahah oh maaan. ok, this won't be very approachable.

i don't recall what point i was trying to make with the whole "two generations" part but ill take this opportunity to justifiably hate on the preprocessor, holy fuck the amount of damage it has caused on software is immeasurable, if you ever thought computer programmers were smart people on principle...

the cpp:

there are like forty preprocessor directives, and they all inject a truly mind-boggling amount of vicious design problems and have done so for longer than ive been alive. there really only ever needed to be one: #include , if only to save you the trouble of manually having to copy header files in full & paste them at the top of your code. and christ almighty, we couldn't even get that right. C (c89) has way, waaaay fewer keywords than any other language. theres like 30, and half of those aren't ever used, have no meaning or impact in the 21st century (shit like "register" and "auto"). and C programmers still fail to understand all of them properly, specifically "static" (used in a global context) which marks some symbol as inelligible to be touched externally (e.g. you can't use "extern" to access it). the whole fucking point of static is to make #include'd headers rational, to have a clear seperation between external, intended-to-be-accessed API symbols, and internal, opaque shit. nobody bothers. it's all there, out in the open, if you #include something, you get all of it, and brother, this is only the beginning, you also get all of its preprocessor garbage.

this is where the hell begins:

#if #else

hey, do these look familiar? we already fucking have if/else. do you know what is hard to understand? perfectly minimally written if/else logic, in long functions. do you know what is nearly impossible to understand? poorly written if/else rats nests (which is what you find 99% of the time). do you know what is completely impossible to understand? that same poorly-written procedural if/else rat's nest code that itself is is subject to another higher-order if/else logic.

it's important to remember that the cpp is a glorified search/replace. in all it's terrifying glory it fucking looks to be turing complete, hell, im sure the C++ preprocessor is turing complete, the irony of this shouldn't be lost on you. if you have some long if/else logic you're trying to understand, that itself is is subject to cpp #if/#else, the logical step would be to run the cpp and get the output pure C and work from there, do you know how to do that? you open the gcc or llvm/clang man page, and your tty session's mem usage quadruples. great job idiot. trying figuring out how to do that in the following eight thousand pages. and even if you do, you're going to be running the #includes, and your output "pure C" file (bereft of cpp logic) is going to be like 40k lines. lol.

the worst is yet to come:

#define #ifdef #ifndef (<- WTF) #undef you can define shit. you can define "anything". you can pick a name, whatever, and you can "define it". full stop. "#define foo". or, you can give it a value: "#define foo 1". and of course, you can define it as a function: "#define foo(x) return x". wow. xzibit would be proud. you dog, we heard you wanted to kill yourself, so we put a programming language in your programming language.

the function-defines are pretty lol purely in concept. when you find them in the wild, they will always look something like this:

#define foo(x,y) \ (((x << y)) * (x))

i've seen up to seven parens in a row. why? because since cpp is, again, just a fucking find&replace, you never think about operator precedence and that leads to hilarious antipaterns like the classic

#define min(x,y) a < b ? a : b

which will just stick "a < b ? a: b" ternary statement wherever min(.. is used. just raw text replacement. it never works. you always get bitten by operator precedence.

the absolute worst is just the bare defines:

#define NO_ASN1 #define POSIX_SUPPORTED #define NO_POSIX

etc. etc. how could this be worse? first of all, what the fuck are any of these things. did they exist before? they do now. what are they defined as? probably just "1" internally, but that isn't the point, the philosophy here is the problem. back in reality, in C, you can't just do something like "x = 0;" out of nowhere, because you've never declared x. you've never given it a type. similar, you can't read its value, you'll get a similar compiler error. but cpp macros just suddenly exist, until they suddenly don't. ifdef? ifndef? (if not defined). no matter what, every permutation of these will have a "valid answer" and will run without problem. let me demonstrate how this fucks things up.

do you remember "heartbleed" ? the "big" openssl vulnerability ? probably about a decade ago now. i'm choosing this one specifically, since, for some reason, it was the first in an annoying trend for vulns to be given catchy nicknames, slick websites, logos, cable news coverage, etc. even though it was only a moderate vulnerability in the grand scheme of things...

(holy shit, libssl has had huge numbers of remote root vulns in the past, which is way fucking worse, heartbleed only gave you a random sampling of a tiny bit of internal memory, only after heavy ticking -- and nowadays, god, some of the chinese bluetooth shit would make your eyeballs explode if you saw it; a popular bt RF PHY chip can be hijacked and somehow made to rewrite some uefi ROMs and even, i think, the microcode on some intel chips)

anyways, heartbleed, yeah, so it's a great example since you could blame it two-fold on the cpp. it involved a generic bounds-checking failure, buf underflow, standard shit, but that wasn't due to carelessness (don't get me wrong, libssl is some of the worst code in existence) but because the flawed cpp logic resulted in code that:

A.) was de-facto worthless in definition B.) a combination of code supporting ancient crap. i'm older than most of you, and heartbleed happened early in my undergrad. the related legacy support code in question hadn't been relevant since clinton was in office.

to summarize, it had to do with DTLS heartbeats. DTLS involves handling TLS (or SSLv3, as it was then, in the 90s) only over UDP. that is how old we're talking. and this code was compiled into libssl in the early 2010s -- when TLS had been the standard for a while. TLS (unlike SSLv3 & predecessors) runs over TCP only. having "DTLS heartbeat support in TLS does not make sense by definition. it is like drawing a triangle on a piece of paper whose angles don't add up to 180.

how the fuck did that happen? the preprocessor.

why the fuck was code from last century ending up compiled in? who else but!! the fucking preprocessor. some shit like:

#ifndef TCP_SUPPORT <some crap related to UDP heartbeats> #endif ... #ifndef NO_UDP_ONLY <some TCP specific crap> #endif

the header responsible for defining these macros wasn't included, so the answer to BOTH of these "if not defined" blocks is true! because they were never defined!! do you see?

you don't have to trust my worldview on this. have you ever tried to compile some code that uses autoconf/automake as a build system? do you know what every single person i've spoken to refers to these as? autohell, for automatic hell. autohell lives and dies on cpp macros, and you can see firsthand how well that works. almost all my C code has the following compile process:

"$ make". done. Makefile length: 20 lines.

the worst i've ever deviated was having a configure script (probably 40 lines) that had to be rune before make. what about autohell? jesus, these days most autohell-cursed code does all their shit in a huge meta-wrapper bash script (autogen.sh), but short of that, if you decode the forty fucking page INSTALL doc, you end up with:

$ automake (fails, some shit like "AUTOMAKE_1.13 or higher is required) $ autoconf (fails, some shit like "AUTOMCONF_1.12 or lower is required) $ aclocal (fails, ???) $ libtoolize (doesn't fail, but screws up the tree in a way that not even a `make clean` fixes $ ???????? (pull hair out, google) $ autoreconf -i (the magic word) $ ./configure (takes eighty minutes and generates GBs of intermediaries) $ make (runs in 2 seconds)

in conclusion: roflcopter

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#frequently questioned answers

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Adding to the “Velvette is the glue of the Vees” convo (and possible slightly out of character interpretation)

I feel like Vox and Valentino definitely need somebody to confide in other than a fuck-buddy y’know?

Like just a (somewhat) stable friend or business partner no sex involved

…Who they’ll sometimes cuddle on the couch with and bitch about their day to each other

I hc Velvette in all her independent girlboss glory can grow clingy towards those she’s attached herself to - that being Vox and Valentino

Say Vox and Val have an argument Velvette wasn’t around for, so they’re both pissed at each other - Velvette comes to their little shared common space, completely drained from work and drapes herself over whoever is there

Valentino; will immediately start bitching to her but also scoop her up and plop on the couch, maybe get some snacks and drinks as they both recharge

Vox; stays quiet - doesn’t like talking after an argument but will do something similar, maybe go into his office instead to stalk someone while having Velvette in his lap. Velvette is just there doom scrolling on her phone or taking a nap while Vox rubs her back

Whoever Velvette runs into first - she can sense the argument happened. So once she’s recharged and taken care of herself - she’ll text them something stupid like “Can’t sleep. Come here. Now.” without telling Vox or Valentino that the other one will be there - both of them go in her room and are - pissed lol

(Think of that Spongebob episode where Squidward tries to make Patrick and SpongeBob be friends again 💀)

But yeah uhmmm Velvette’s gonna 1. Address the issue directly 2. Force both Vox and Valentino to sleep with her bc she’s too tired to deal with them but will force them into the awkward situation cause she wants the entertainment

If scenario 2 happens Velvette is obviously sandwiched in between Vox and Valentino while they stare at each other angrily. Whoever speaks way too loud first gets punched by Velvette (happens multiple times) so they’re forced to quietly “discuss their issues” while Velvette is playing dumb and pretending to sleep - eventually things do work out and they all fall asleep

I don’t even know where I was going with this it’s incredibly disorganized I just like ranting about the Vees help - love silly Velvette headcanons where she’s the one who’s in control I guess lol

I totally agree with like half of what you've written - with the part taht Vox and Valentino both need someone to confide with. None of them has a lot of opportunities to be just comfortable with another person. Sure they have each other but romantic relatisohips are often more "loaded" than frienships and while they can grant deeper connection, they also generate greater tension. That's why lifelong frienships are way more common than lifelong romances.

But I don't find the idea of Velvette's infantilization appealing, sorry. She strikes me as a person who craves to be feared and respected, to the level that it feels almost like overcompesating for her young age (compared to other Overlords) and non-threatening form. I don't see why would she allow anyone, even her friends to treat her like a plushie. Especially when those friends are power hungry maniacs who nutoriously prey on people they see as weaker.

That doesn't mean I think your headcanon is wrong or bad. It just doesn't allign with my own interpretation. Which is perfectly fine, they can't even be compared in their accuracy in relation to canon because we barely have any canon. So please, don't take it personally - I love you have fun with your ideas, that's the most important part of fandom <3

#hazbin hotel #vox #valentino #voxval #ask #velvette #headcanon #the vees

[thatdeadaquarius]

I have so many ideas but none of them can be put into words, all I can do is just wheeze as they come along🤣

Also remember how wordy and flowery Teyvat speech/dialogue is? ADD THAT TO THE FACT THAT TEYVAT HAS ITS OWN LANGUAGE---

Reader can understand the basic speech which is why they are so blunt (I love this idea so much 🤣) and can piece together an idea what the person is talking about.

*insert random person talking about a commission with a long ass backstory*

Traveller & Co.: *understands completely and making plans to retrieve said commission*

C!Reader: (They said they had a cart.... a bunch of hilichurls appeared... dancing?.... they want us to dance fight the hilichurls???? Dance off???)

Actual story->The person's cart got ambushed by a group of hilichurls and taunted them by dancing around it.

....... it doesnt always translate well

Also imagine Reader heaeing random names and overthinks it as a word instead of a name.

Example: Pantalone means pants in Philippine English (sorry not sorry Pantalone)

Tsaritsa??? Oh do they speak russian there??? - reader

Capitano -> captain in some countries

(I once mistake Sandrone as Sandalone and I just went "... ehh??? Standalone? Sandalone as in Sand Alone???? Sandal (Flip flops)????

Oh wait its Sandrone" ".... as in Sand and Drone??--)

-Vine Boom

VINE BOOM ANON MY BELOVED 💖❤🧡💛💚💙💜✨️✨️

Gif is me writing u anything ever:

AHFLALA FERRRALLL I STG I ALSO THOUGHT ABT THIS!! WHY U COULD ALSO BE BLUNT BC U ONLY GOT THE BASICS 💀 RIP

Man theyre written language looks so scary to learn, kinda like when I looked into trying to learn Mandarin/Japanese (and even Korean), the letters r just inherently so different i was so intimidated

And u dont even read it like left -> right like English

Omg i tried to reply to a arabic comment on my art post once, and i felt so acommplished when i finally was able to type "اشكرك (thanks)" but like, i had to put it on the OTHER SIDE OF THE TEXT BOX, LIKE ALIGN IT TO THE RIGHT INSTEAD OF HOW U KNOW ENGLISH IS INHERENTLY ALIGNED LEFT, IT WAS SO TRIPPY-

Going thru genshin life only understanding minimal words of anything anyone says is honestly how i feel like ive been playing Genshin LMAO

Those analysis videos/lore are saving a bitch's life out here

PANTALONE IS ALSO RLLY CLOSE TO SPANISH FOR PANTS I KNOW WHAT U MEANNN LOL

UR ENDLESS CONFUSION FOR SANDRONE PLEASE ANON U DIDNT EVEN GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST CORRECTION IT JUST KEPT GETTING WORSEEE 😂😭 SAME THO

That would literally be you in genshin tho, like i could easily see it being like, back to back misunderstandings 😭😭

Like u think u got it right (Oh so his name is Rex Lapis, wait what? Morax? Ok his name is Morax...?? What??? Zhongli??? WHO IS THIS MAN-)

.

JFC first they gotta have a whole different language (like u saw in game)

And ON TOP OF THAT THEY CAN TALK FOR 10 MIN STRAIGHT ABT THE WEATHER OR SOME SHIT??

No... just, no.

U quickly decide u like what little bits of language u could pick up so far, which just results in,

U guessed it, simple speech and short fragmented sentences (or broken Teyvatian)

U cant even bring urself to care when u give half the characters a heart attack and send the rest into laughing fits

No fucks given, they wanna make this extra hard on u by being wordy on top of a new language,

Yeah u dont care what comes out of ur mouth anymore

Also, since everybody is raised in Teyvat very few ppl dont know the language, which once again brings us back to ancient/older deities/creatures who have a more simplistic version/outdated version of modern language

.

Omg getting stuff mistranslated bc u cant understand it all/only keywords sounds like hell but also rlly funny

Traveler/Paimon: "Alright, yes, all is well. We will accept this comission, and depart soon."

You: "...they want us to?? Dance fight?? Hilichurls...???"

Traveler just stares at u half in pity, half trying to hide their amused smile, Paimon is giggling

The commissioner is shook bc a supposed ancient creature?? Just accepted?? Their simple commission?? And u think they want u to dance battle???

.

PLEASE U MISTRANSLATE THE HARBINGERS NAMES RIGHT TO THEIR FACES

Signora: "You shall rue the day you crossed the Fatui mortals!"

You: "Lady we don't care, just fight us."

(Signora just means 'Lady')

Signora: *offended gasp*

Traveler/Paimon trying to stifle laughter

Raiden Shogun jaw dropped a little

.

Pantalone: "What a pleasure to finally meet you traveler, and thine wonderful companions!" *little bastard smile*

You: "And it was awful to meet you, Pants."

Pantalone: 😶😧😡 "Pants?! HOW DARE YOU NOT EVEN GIVE ME THE MOST BASE RESPECT, AFTER I GREETED THEE SO KINDLY-"

.

Oh its so funny, everytime you talk about Childe you always phrase it like he's an actual child bc u thought everyone was just calling him a little kid for some reason (u dont know how Teyvat ages work, he could be for all you know!)

Not very long, but Vine Boom anon your brain >>>>

Ur ideas r so on point, i love them sm

That makes perfect sense why u could be talking blunt too, like an in world explanation really

For you, all the desserts🥰 🤲🍪🍨🍰🍮🧋🍦🍡

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

#vine boom anon ilysm #yall r so funny i cant keep up help #big brain anons #genshin impact #ask box open #genshin sagau #my asks #sagau #genshin sagau ideas #gender neutral reader #genshin imagines #please send asks #:) #<3 #genshin isekai #genshin god reader

[chrismcleaneatspants]

General season 2 opinions. MASSIVE TDI 2023 season 2 spoilers ahead (as well as a huge wall of text.) You've been warned.

Ok, so here's everything I like about the season (I can count them on my fingers)

-There were some funny jokes

-MKulia was entertaining and it's now in my top 5 favorite ships, but it's not perfect, as I'll explain later

-Hockey dudes were a joy to watch I suppose

-Bowie stole the show as usual

-There are a lot of neat challenges (The canoe, slide, and dog challenges was a particular stand outs to me)

-MK herself was really funny

-MacArthur's cameo was a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one, and she bounces off of Chris really well

-Duncney is still broken up lol

Honestly that's about it in terms of positives, cuz I have a million other negatives for this supposed sequel to (imo) the best written season of the show.

-The Relationships were the single worst aspect about this season full stop. Ripaxel and Praleb are probably the worst couples the show has ever subjected me to. For Ripaxel, they basically removed anything interesting Ripper had going on and Axel wasn't allowed to live up to any kind of hype she created because one lame ass poem turned her into Ripper's girlfriend for the remaining duration of her run, only for the both of them to be tossed aside in episode 7 in perhaps the worst double elimination in the entire show.

-Praleb started off ok. I thought it was gonna be a one-sided crush plot initially before Episode 6. They had a couple cute moments before episode 8, of which their screentime became suffocating because afterwards is was this painful back and forth where Caleb tried explaining himself and Priya would be mad at him, then ally with him, then be mad at him again like it was so tiresome. By the time they got together in the finale again, I was wishing they had just followed up on Pramien instead. Caleb by himself was funny in the first half of season 2 and Priya was great in season 1, but the two of them together were insufferable

-Speaking of Priya, she went from one of the best characters in season 1 to one of the worst in season 2. Why did she have to make it all the way to episode fucking 12 after winning season 1?? Just for some generic heterosexual romance? They also made her so dumb with shit like knowing Julia is manipulating her but then getting a surprise Pikachu face when Julia manipulated her??? You spent your entire life preparing for this show, how the fuck did you not see this coming???

-Segwayying into Julia, she's the worst antagonist full stop. I've never seen such an absolute downgrade of a character. She was a goat in season 1 who was aware of her situation and acted accordingly because the stakes were real. Here? Reality basically warps around her just to keep her in the game. She does things characters would never fall for in season 1 and they just go with it?? They insist on keeping her in the finale and do basically nothing interesting with her. She's not even as funny as Island Heather at the end of the day.

-I mentioned MKulia earlier, so I'll just get to it here: I like it in concept. Two evil sapphics causing chaos together is really fun. My main issue is that it was very sudden. They both were not fans of each other at the end of season 1 and now I'm supposed to just believe they became friends off screen? I mean, I guess, but it's kinda cheap. I would have really liked it if it was straight up enemies to lovers ngl. Also the fact MK had very little agency outside of being Julia's lackey doesn't help either. I want to point to the fake contract thing, for instance. Why did Julia do that? That sounds like an MK thing to do.

-Time to dive into other characters: Damien is an absolute fucking tragedy. At the end of season 1, Damien had one ambition: win next season. They kinda did that, sure, but they regressed Damien into being a complete coward to do so, not to mention he didn't even go all the way either. Damien didn't get a W until episode 6 and tbh that was his only W. By the end of his tenure, I was left confused on what the point of his run was. (I'll come back to this later.)

-What was the point of Nichelle? Like seriously, what did she contribute to the season at all? They didn't do the ironic underdog story with her, and considering she was getting all egotistical and aggressive, i thought she was gonna be the antagonist for sure...until Julia got rid of her in episode 5 in a way that really shouldn't make sense cuz like Nichelle is an actual celebrity that stars in blockbuster movies, I'm pretty sure she could sniff a fake contract a mile away, right?

-Hockey dudes were great, but I felt like they were very dumbed down at times? Like they were just generic dumb dudes that just meandered around a lot of the time (Wayne in particular just straight up floated away from a challenge at one point)

-Bowie was alright too. His line delivery is great as usual, but let's not kid ourselves: In a well written season, he'd be going straight for Julia the next time his team lost. Bowraj was nice to see even if the season didn't really do a whole lot with it

-Am I the only one who thinks this season is a tad bit misogynistic? Like this is the shortest them phase the show as ever had (to the point where i'd argue teams don't really matter) and 4 of the 5 team phase boots were girls. Millie and Emma in particular were really bad. Like, you could make Millie a team phase boot without like shitting on her that hard. And Emma got like fuck all closure outside of breaking up with Chase off screen like wow, way to utilize such a high potential character, Fresh. And this is saying nothing about how the girls that did make it to the merge had plots basically dominated by romance and like nothing else. And then there's MKulia which is apparently intended to be a friendship but like is written like a romantic one at times. It gives me all-stars gwourtney vibes and (as a fan of gwourtney myself) not in a good way. At least MK and Julia were somewhat in character I guess, but they had their edges really sanded off and honestly as a friendship (situationship?) it's a complete downgrade from Millie and Priya in so many ways

-And another thing: who's the protagonist this season? Outside of Praleb, who am I supposed to care for? Who am I supposed to root for? By the halfway mark, the show doesn't really make any convincing arguments to root for like anyone there outside of maybe Damien? And he went gone in episode 10, so like, hockey dudes? No one has an interesting enough narrative for me to care.

-The immunity idol stinks as usual. Like, why did Damien do THE SAME FUCKING THING HEATHER DID IN ALL-STARS?? That actually pissed me off so much holy shit. The immunity idol as it stands in the show is basically a shitty plot device made to keep characters in as there's no real strategy revolved around it.

-Oh and another minor thing: Owen's cameo sucks, and that's entirely due to him not being physically aged up at all and just being a vehicle for the same dumb jokes they always make with him. so stupid

-Anyways, I spend an entire season with two shitass straight relationships taking up screentime, a whole multiude of potential plotlines from last season (pramien) and this season (scary girl's revenge, millie being the new ripper, damien's comeback, julia having internal conflict over her friendship (feelings?) for MK) being set up and just nothing being done with them, and characters in general just being nerfed or borderline out of character (Ripper) and what am I rewarded with?

-Soar Losers. The most boring nothing finale in the entire show. The choices for finalists suck, Wayne, while being the least bad option for a winner (and i do still like him a lot), is still a mid ass winner in the grand scheme of the entire show. And more praleb drama? fuck off I hate them so much. The challenge did not feel finale worthy at all, and honestly it was the worst challenge in the whole season. On top of being a bunch of nothing, the show decides to bring back the worst trope it ever had: losing hair as karma. I almost ragequit the episode on the spot that shit makes me so irrationally mad. I think it's even worse here because Julia still had hair after the fact, which makes it seem like they were aware it's not a popular TD trope but wanted to half commit to it anyways for the sake of tradition or something. Terrible finale to an already decently sized letdown of a season, but it has some ok MKulia moments I guess. The finale was just emblematic of the entire season, where things just happen and you're just expected to go along with everything. (Also side note how come Chase wasn't the one to jump off of the cart for pizza immediately?)

TL;DR reboot season 2 imo was a step down in every conceivable way from season 1 apart of i guess comedy and it's left a very sour taste in my mouth. I'm probably missing a few points that I'll add onto later but man it feels nice putting my opinion out there.

#total drama #total drama 2023 #td spoilers #prileb #mkulia #ripaxel #bowraj #td mk #td julia #td caleb #td axel #td bowie #td chase #td damien #td emma #td millie #td nichelle #td priya #td wayne #td raj #td ripper #td zee #td scary girl

[1eoness]

hi! could i request something fluffy? maybe leon spoiling reader with some meal, or cuddles? thanks! ❤️

mentioning meals I AM THE REMINDER TO GO GET A SNACK AND REJUVENATE

and yes ofc i love writing fluffy fluffy hehehehe (im kind of uncreative rn so sorry). btw i'm writing this in the same format as the other one but if you want it to be more structured and narrative just uh tell me LOL

content : fluffy leon kennedy x gender neutral!reader (it's written in second person though). pet names lol

synopsis : leon wants to spoil you so he's feeding you and providing you with an army's ware of cuddles >:)

-food is fuel and leon is a fucking engine

-tbh i hc that leon has a big appetite for sweet stuff,,,, i'm sure a big collective of ppl agree bc he's so squishy squishy [what the fuck am i saying idk]

-anyway enough about me gushing on leon.

-YOU. when will you ever take the time to let him spoil you? are you trying to avoid him?:((

-leon is part kidding. he's not mad ofc but sometimes he can't help but get a tiny bit worried about you sometimes.

-see, leon is a firm believer that a person cannot come to their best senses unless their basic/psychological needs are fulfilled. that includes things like eating, or affection—because when your body senses that you're lacking in something, it will use your brain power to signal you that you need to eat or be smothered with affection! hence you can end up feeling burnt out if u dont pay attention to ur love vitals!! >:(

-leon's mindset will always be applied on you because you're his second heart, you're his tough rock and you need to be taken care of!!

-HE KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE THINKING "affection? that's absurd people can still learn attentively and work efficiently without having to be coddled >:(" while yes in a sense its true—but sometimes you just don't realize that what you need is some time to be vulnerable and intimate, which can explain why your emotions feel a lot more heightened recently than usual (which he notices by the way). you've been tense for a while, and leon reasons that you can't just 'move on' from being overwhelmed with work stress and whatnot—you have to relieve it! but enough about theory.

-your hunger for food or affection is like a 7th sense to leon to be honest. while it's not an accurate intuition everytime, he's bound to think of you once every like two minutes.

-leon actually has very clear and high critical thinking skills. this means he is able to remember a lot of things about you even if he only notices them or you mention it once: this includes your comfort drink, where you like to be touched, hell maybe even the MBTI of your favorite character. and he ESPECIALLY knows what food you like. pad thai, sushi, oxtail, jerk chicken, cake, boba, YOU NAME IT HE KNOWS IF YOU LOVE IT OR NOT

-so when it actually came to asking you what you wanted, he'd send a text saying he's downtown and asking you 'what would you like, baby?'. he's careful with his words and doesn't say "do you want me to get you something on the way?" because it means he's giving you a choice >:( when the whole point is to spoil you because you deserve it.

-and if you answer with something vague like 'anything' HE DOESN'T MAKE YOU SPEAK FURTHER he'll just buy what he knows u like and keep the rest in the fridge if you dont wanna eat it :3 well that's what they're for, right?

"oh, my sweet.." his voice was quaint at the sight of you. leon tried his best to be silent when he entered the room, not wanting to sound like he was pitying you, but seeing you half-covered with comforters, mildly upset and your mind in a frazzle has his heart dropping a bit. you were probably thinking about so many things: meeting some deadlines, picking up this and that from the store, computing this... but you just couldn't organize your thoughts. but that's why leon was here.

your head moved to swivel his direction. "leon.." you smile at him weakly.

it was cold in the city tonight. leon places a hefty white plastic bag of your favorite on the nearby surface before he sits down in front of you from the edge of your bed. he takes the brief second of studying his lover's face before he pulls you into a comforting and warm hug. he can't help but pat the back of his sweet baby's head down, and you feel his lips barely nuzzle onto your ear as he mutters. "y're so good to me, baby. you know that?" leon reminds you before kissing the side of your head shortly. you tried to reciprocate it by giving him a nimble kiss on his cheek, which he gratefully accepts with an eager beam on his lips.

his hands slide down your arms in a soft stroke as he lets go of you gently. the rustling of the bed's layers being heard as leon moves a bit to reach for the hefty boxes of food, which he opens for you once he gives you take your utensil/s. leon's happy seeing you eat. it's a form of reassurance to him personally witnessing you getting the fill you deserve after a whole few days of being so busy and rushing everywhere. it's a calming sense to him as you both soak in comfortable silence while he watches you eat. he was caring less that it's 2 in the morning and caring more about the way the color on your face slowly vibrates back onto your features. you seem less tired, just by a tad percentage. it makes him smile to himself knowing he was able to take care of you. " 'm finished." you mumbled with a hum, feeling a little full and having to lie down. fullness makes you sleepy (and leon knows that!) so he has a subtle, cheeky little grin as he leans over and collects your legs with one arm, pulling you to make you lie on your back. he crawls over to lie down next to you, once again pulling you close to him while he wraps his arms around you— one patting and planted gently on your back while the other cradles your head close to his heart. just where you belong... "you tired, baby?" leon asked shortly and your little nod sufficed. his cheek gently rests against the side of the crown of your head. his touch is soft, it's sweet as he rubs and scratches down your back gently. he gently scruffles at your scalp with his other hand's fingertips, and the motions will send you to a hopefully revitalizing sleep ♡. he places a kiss on the top of your head, like a ribbon keeping its gift from falling apart :( he knows at this moment maybe you're thinking you don't deserve him. but that's so far from the truth.

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #re2remake leon #re4remake leon #leon x reader #leon x reader fluff #this is also super bad n rash im sorry ill try to edit it later on

[mermaidsirennikita]

Contemporaries where dirty talk is especially hot? Both during sex and maybe also over text? Thank you!!

Sierra Simone, Sierra Simone, Sierra Simone. Her books are often set in a contemporary world, but they're not, as a heads up, "light" contemporaries. Personally, I wouldn't really go as far as to call them dark romance (well. Thornchapel, I would, but I also wouldn't recommend it as a contemporary as it has such strong supernatural elements lol) but they do have some elements of (light) mysticism as some of them are retellings of old myth set in a modern setting. I'd check out:

Priest, Sinner, Saint/"The Bell Brothers": These are three standalones (M/F, M/F, and M/M) that always have a bit of a religion kink. And a by a bit, I mean a lot. Priest is the book where a Catholic priest (who is actually very naturally carnal and only became a priest because of some deep guilt issues and religiosity) meets a woman who tells him ALL the shit she's done in confession. It's naturally dirty, and he naturally falls head over heels into an affair. Sinner is about a business whose best friend's little sister is about to become a nun, and she (on the advice of her convent, naturally) asks him to teach her about sex so she can experience what she'll miss before she really commits. Saint is about a guy who became a monk in a period of deep emotional crisis, whose ex-boyfriend (he left with zero notice) ends up on a tour of monasteries with him for an article he's writing. Temptation ensues.

The dirty talk in these is naturally very tinged with priest/nun kink stuff, it's SUPER dirty, and I love it. They're also just really good.

Her Christmas Notch books she does with Julie Murphy are a little tamer, both focus on this Hallmark-esque company where the leads film these Christmas movies and, of course, fall in love. I really, really love A Holly Jolly Ever After, because the hero is a former boybander (with a dad bod!) who fucks like a demon and also owns a chain of pizza shops, and his sex tape leaks, during which he's pictured absolutely RAILING a woman from behind, slapping her ass, and saying "and THAT'S how you toss the dough" which I personally think is some of the greatest dirty talk I've ever read.

New Camelot: One of my favorite trilogies of all time, MMF, "what if King Arthur was President, Guinevere was First Lady, and Lancelot was VP, and what if they were all in love with each other and entangled in an intense affair and IT WAS AMAZING". I reread scenes regularly. I love it so much. The dirty talk is obscene. You get the very cool "sit, stay, bark" dom dirty talk from one hero and the deranged "I'm going through it and you're going to go through it with me" passionate dirty talk from the other. Our heroine ain't half bad at it either.

Lyonesse Trilogy: The prequel novella and the first book are out now; it's a Tristan/Isolde/Mark MMF retelling. Mark is perhaps like... the dirtiest dirty talker Sierra has written. He's soooooo much. Like, if you want the condescending dom dirty talking hero, he's The One. The alternating between the "look how good you take it" stuff and "you're so desperate it's pathetic" shit. Why not both???

Act Your Age by Eve Dangerfield has a TON of dirty talk, usually in the DD/lg vein. The hero and heroine roleplay dirty stepdad fantasies a lot, and the way they talk to each other is OBSCENE lol. And I love it.

Minx by Sophie Lark has some amazing dirty talk in the pet play realm. The heroine is an escort paid by the hero, and he has her dress up in a catsuit, wear a caller, drink milk out of a bowl while he calls her Minxie and a good girl and shit lol. I was into it. Idk if you'll be into it. Iiiii was into it.

Sara Cate's Salacious Player Club books have good dirty talk. They're sex club books that kind of deconstruct a different kink in each book (pleasure dom/sub in the first one, voyeurism in the second, MMF/bi awakening in the third, and femdom in the fourth... I'd stop after the fourth) and naturally are filled with dirty talk. Eyes On Me (the second book) may especially work for you because the heroine is a cam girl.

Possession by Adriana Anders has a heroine in a PR marriage with her famous husband end up in a kink camp with him after a scandal, and they... explore a lot. Including consensual kidnapping, an MFM threesome, lots of dirty talk... It's a lot.

Preferential Treatment by Heather Guerre has a heroine who becomes her billionaire boss's domme, so naturally there is a LOT of femdom dirty talk. We LOVE to see it.

Heated Rivalry & The Long Game by Rachel Reid make up a duology of hockey romances about the same couple (m/m). What I like about this is that you follow the same couple over like, a decade, starting when they're like 18/19, and they build up...? Their dirty talk? Like in the beginning, their encounters are more awkward, and then by the end they're using sex toys and like mild bondage and really KNOW each other and what turns each other on. Including the talk.

#romance novel blogging #book recs #romance novels #seriously tho if y'all wanna read a book where people are just talking filth. sierra simone lol

[shuadotcom]

Tell Me You Want Me | PJM (M)

❧ Summary: Spring break doesn’t mean much to you since you dropped out of college and joined the working world. This spring though, your parents demand you take off of work to join them for a family vacation along with your childhood friend’s family. You eagerly agree, both to see your best friend Sunyoung, but also to rekindle things with your hometown fling, Jimin.

With him being Sunyoung's brother, the two of you are used to keeping your hook-ups a secret from everyone, but this time, Jimin tries to keep a secret of his own from you: his new girlfriend. With some new (or are they old?) feelings stirring for Jimin, you can’t keep your hands of him, even knowing that he technically belongs to someone else. Cue the drama, the mess, and plenty of hurt feelings.

❧ Pairing: Best Friend’s Brother!Jimin x Female!Reader

❧ Genres/AUs: Angst, drama, smut, fluff, best friend’s brother au, friends w/benefits to lovers au

❧ Rating: 18+ (MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED)

❧ Words: 20.7k 🫥

❧ Warnings: Infidelity, profanity, alcohol consumption, age gap (Jimin is 22, Y/n is around 26/27), sexting and exchanging nudes, oral (m & f receiving), handjob, fingering, public sex, jacuzzi sex, penetrative sex, dirty talk, choking, spitting, sub!Jimin, dom!Reader, a sneak peek of dom!Jimin

❧ Notes: FINALLY FINISHED!! Written for the Spring Break-ing the Rules project hosted by BTS Honey Hive! My destination was Cancun, Mexico. Huge, massive, giant thank you to @playmetheclassics​ and @cherrysoulth​ for being my amazing betas!! Thank you for reading through this mess - I loved reading all your commentary 😂❤️❤️ And an equally big thank you the talented @hobeemin​ for this gorgeous banner!! ❤️❤️

This fic kicked my ass lol but I’m happy with it. I tried 2 texting apps for any texting parts. I’m not sure if I like it more or less than just typing out the texts (mostly because both the apps I used are annoying lol) but hey something new!

And full disclaimer before diving in: Y/n and Jimin aren’t really meant to be “good” here lol. They’re toxic but that’s the point!! Anyway I also made a spotify playlist to go with it because why not!

Four and a half hours. That’s how long, at max, the flight from New York to Cancun, Mexico takes. On a good day, it’s quicker, but of course, this was not a good day. You wouldn’t have had such a problem with it if your flight hadn’t been delayed by two hours plus an unexpected layover in Florida. To add insult to injury, your headphones died mid-flight and you forgot your power bank to charge them. There were also more terrible, screaming children than necessary, plus your seatmates were an elderly woman that coughed the entire time and a man, in his fifties at least, that kept talking to you (see: hitting on you) the entire time.

By the time you exit the airport and get into a shuttle to the resort, you’re irritable and tired, but the prospect of seeing your parents and best friend again keeps your little bit of excitement alive and well. 

The last time you saw your childhood best friend was a year ago for her birthday. New York living is expensive, especially when you’re a humble project manager at a tech start-up, so you don’t have the financial means to make it back home to Southern California as much as you’d like. 

This spring break trip was organized by your parents as an excuse to get both Sunyoung’s and your family all together again. They even footed part of your plane ticket, which you’re grateful for. After you dropped out of college and left higher education in the past, you remember how you very nearly moved back home to figure out your next plan. Still, when one of your old roommates referred you to the tech company she had started at, you took the job and you’ve stayed on the East coast.

You wish more than anything that you didn’t regret leaving home to experience life somewhere new as an adult, but you can’t.

Most of the time, when you’re in your aged, cramped studio that you can barely afford, you want so badly to be back in your parent's house in California, surrounded by people that leave you. Instead of being alone with no support system. But your pride keeps that from happening so you fake enthusiasm anytime someone from home asks how you like the city.

Thankfully, the ride to the resort is much quicker and less aggravating than the flight so you don’t have much time to be alone with your thoughts, which relieves you. As you thank your driver and get your suitcase unloaded, you hear a voice call out to you.

Whipping around, you see a second shuttle pulling up to join you at the resort entrance. Sunyoung leaps out of the van as soon as it parks and throws herself into your arms.

“Y/n!” She squeals, and you return the enthusiasm. 

Sunyoung has been your longest-running friendship since she and her family became your next-door neighbors when you were both nine. She and her family moved from South Korea because her parents wanted to give her and her then-five-year-old brother “the American dream.” 

When you think of her brother at that moment, your eyes dart over her shoulder then as you watch him step out of the van, the sun reflecting off of his freshly dyed red hair. 

The last time you saw Park Jimin was via an Instagram post a few weeks ago showcasing his new dye job. The color suited his beautiful features wonderfully, but when you texted him that, you received nothing in response. He’s another reason you said yes to this trip (not that either of your families can know). 

Jimin has had a crush on you probably since he entered middle school and knew what a crush was. He was always your best friend’s annoying little brother to you. Constantly barging into her room when you were hanging out, pranking you whenever he had the chance, and making childish jokes when you were around.

As he got older, his childishness turned into shyness when he saw you, even going as far as to run out of the room if you were in it. Both of your families knew of his crush and teased him about it, but nothing much came of it because why would it?

When Jimin entered high school and you were about to graduate, he was bold enough to ask to be your date to his freshman prom. You turned him down of course, but that didn’t stop him from starting to be bolder in attempting to flirt with you. It was always playful and you thought nothing of it because again, he was your best friend’s little brother.

Things between you and Jimin changed when he graduated high school. You were already living in New York but flew back home for his graduation party. Not having paid much attention to Jimin’s social media, you hadn’t even noticed how puberty had changed him.

The whiny little boy with the glasses and bowl cut was replaced by an eighteen-year-old, lean yet fit man with blonde hair, piercings, and an intoxicating smile. When you walked into the Parks’ house that afternoon and caught sight of him talking to his mom in the kitchen you barely recognized him. 

You spent all day sneaking glances, your brain barely comprehending that this is the same boy that cried when you hid a Spiderman toy from him years ago.

As if he had known you were confused at the sight of him, Jimin cornered you outside later that night after everyone had gone inside. To this day, your conversation seems like a blur to you. One minute you were congratulating Jimin on finally getting out of high school and the next, he was reaching forward and pulling you into a kiss.

It caught you off guard and probably lasted longer than it should, but when you finally pulled away, Jimin was embarrassed and mumbled apology after apology. He tripped over himself to explain how he’d always liked you, and since he was of age, maybe you wouldn’t see him as a kid anymore. 

While you accepted his apology you still turned him down. He was your best friend’s little brother. He just graduated high school and you were four years older and you had literally grown up with him. To you, it would look weird and it was left at that.

Two years later he flew to New York citing he was thinking of going to dance school there. Naturally, you showed him around and let him stay on the couch in your apartment while your roommate was away. On his second night in the city, one minute you were talking about your favorite pizza place and the next he was kissing you again. And this time, you didn’t push him away and you didn’t tell him no. Jimin was 20 years old and so shy yet so confident with you and you couldn’t ignore how attracted to him you were.

You let Jimin kiss the breath out of you and fuck you into your mattress that night. You let him do it every night he stayed with you. Then, you let him text you and send you videos and pictures when he’s horny. It went from texts to phone sex to facetime calls where he cried for you while he came. 

Each time you went home after that, even though it wasn’t often, you and Jimin found places to be alone together. You fucked in each other’s houses when your families were out. You gave him handjobs in his car. He ate you out in the bathroom of a grocery store when you were picking things up for a family barbeque. Anywhere you and Jimin could find to be alone you had sex. This continued virtually when you were away and Jimin became your longest-running friends-with-benefits relationship - somehow lasting two years.

It’d have been two and a half had Jimin’s communication with you not slowed down to the point where two weeks ago he went completely radio silent. He was barely replying to any of your messages and stopped answering video calls.

“Y/n?” Sunyoung’s voice pulls you out of your daze. You blinked hard a few times, unsure how long you were too far down into your memories. 

“What?”

“I said, our parents want us all to eat lunch together, but we can do something after and you didn’t say anything for like a whole minute.”

“Shit, sorry, I’m just tired from that hell flight. I must’ve had a war flashback or something.”

Laughing, Sunyung loops her arm through yours. “Well, that’s nothing a cocktail or four can’t help!” She gives you a wink that you return while also trying to see what Jimin is doing. 

“Good. I need to shower first because I feel so damn crusty.” Sunyoung agrees, gesturing to follow her to both of your parents still exiting the shuttle. After greeting both your parents and hers with lots of hugs and kisses, you anxiously await for Jimin to step around the van so you can see him fully.

He’s been leaning down into the car talking, and you’re getting a little impatient. It isn’t until you reach your hand up to wave at him that you see a head of dark hair emerge from the car, and you see it’s a girl. A girl that grips Jimin’s arm in the same way you do to him when he’s kissing the breath out of you. 

She turns and makes eye contact with you sending an unsuspecting smile.

“Oh, Y/n, this is Jimin’s girlfriend, Momo. Momo, this is my best friend, Y/n!” You immediately make eye contact with Jimin, who looks away in record time. Looking at Momo again you greet her, plastering on an artificial smile. 

Jimin has a girlfriend and he has never told you. Something that feels suspiciously like jealousy grips your stomach.

Your performance at lunch is Oscar-worthy. Every question from your parents or the Parks about your job is answered with smiles. You have an entertaining yet informative story for every inquiry from Sunyoung about your apartment and the city. No one around you is in tune with the blazing looks you keep sending Jimin’s way except him.

His brown eyes can’t help but dart to you every few minutes, only staying trained on you for mere seconds before he pulls himself away. Kudos to him as well, for keeping up his usual joking, outgoing demeanor even as you stare into his soul. 

He’s been ghosting you for weeks because he has a girlfriend that he never once told you about. 

“Still no one in your dating life, Y/n?” Your mom’s question has your eyes snapping from Jimin to her in record time.

“Mom!” You groan indignantly. “No,” you say quickly, rolling your eyes before your next line of questioning pops into your head. “But it looks like at least one of us have found someone?” The question is directed at Jimin and as the whole table looks his way, a red hue blossoms onto his round cheeks.

“Oh, uh yeah,” he says with a cough, avoiding you. Everyone laughs his behavior off as shyness, but you know the stuttering and nervousness are for you.

“We met in dance class last year,” Momo supplies, beaming at Jimin who is too busy stirring his lemonade. “He was too scared to ask me out so I had to do it a few months ago.” She laughs, everyone joining in, including you. She’s pretty - clear skin and light makeup, a brown bob with bangs that fit her face well. Dark eyes, round cheeks, and a cute smile - it’s clear why Jimin likes her. Her smiles and kindness seem genuine.

“Yeah, I’m surprised you agreed to come on vacation,” Sunyoung says to Momo. “I keep telling you, Jimin is way too messy to share a room with and a pain in the ass to be around twenty-four hours a day, but you’ll see. You’ve only been together for what, like six months? You’ll learn all you need to know so you can do better!” She cackles at her little brother, leaning over to poke him in the ribs as she makes fun of him. You smile and jest along with her, ignoring the thickness in your throat at knowing how long they've been dating.

After lunch, Jimin announces he’s going upstairs to get his swimsuit for the pool. Everyone else already brought theirs down or changed under their clothes before lunch so they decide to head outside. You follow, but at the last minute let out a curse with the excuse that you forgot yours too.

No one is any wiser as everyone heads out without you with the intent of claiming a spot for both families.

Jimin is already in the elevator when you reach it, but as you exit and start down the hall to your room, you see the redhead with his hands in his pockets, walking to his room.

“Jimin,” you call out with extra sweetness to your voice. He freezes in his tracks, spine straight as he waits for you to catch up. “Hi.” When you’re finally next to him, head tilted to look at his face you see just how panicked he looks with wide brown eyes staring at the floor.

“Hey.”

“You know it’s pretty fucked up to leave people on read for weeks. It’s even more fucked not to tell the person you’ve been sharing nudes with that you have an entire girlfriend at home.” Your tone is casual, but there’s still attitude behind your words.

“Y/n, I’m sorry, okay? I just didn’t know when or how to tell you.”

“You could’ve said something in the last six months. We’ve been cyber-fucking this entire time you’ve been with her, Jimin.” You stop walking when you reach his and Momo’s room.

“I don’t have any good explanation okay? I was just so nervous to tell you. I didn’t want to stop seeing you, but I also just, I don’t know, wanted someone at home with me. You’re so far away most of the time. I thought maybe if I said yes to the cute girl on campus that likes me, it’d help me.”

“Help you what? Have someone in real life to fuck when I’m not around?”

“Yes, b-but not like that!” Jimin turns to face you completely, looking at you with something unreadable in his eyes.

“I was hoping that she could fill the void that you don’t want to fill. The whole dating me part.”

Ouch. The implication is clear in his words. You refuse to commit to anything other than sex so he looked for someone else to fulfill his girlfriend needs. It’s not as though you don’t like Jimin for more than sex, you just haven’t unpacked those feelings fully, what with the desire to keep it such a secret trumping all else. 

“Y/n, look, I like Momo, I do. We have a lot in common and my family likes her but…” He trails off, still not meeting your gaze.

“But what?”

“But she’s not you.” Jimin meets your eyes then, his words coupled with the look he’s giving you stirs something confusing inside of you. Shaking it off, you move close enough to Jimin so that his back presses against the door, ignoring the way your brain is asking if you really want to keep doing this.

You do.

“Sounds like you really missed me?” Jimin’s head nods frantically, his breath hitching when you slot your thigh between his. “Enough to cheat on your girlfriend, Minie?” The nodding stops and he seems to consider this for a few seconds before he breathes out a ‘yes’. You lean forward and kiss him after this, your gloss-covered lips working expertly against his chapped ones.

Jimin’s hands rest on your hips while yours move up to either side of his shoulders, caging him against the door. 

The two of you stay like that for a while, making up for the time away from one another and the lust you feel whenever you’re in any proximity to one another.

When the elevator down the hall dings, you pull back, both of you panting while straightening your clothes. 

“I missed you too, baby.” You whisper in his ear before fast-walking three doors down to your and Sunyoung’s room and slipping inside before whoever is in the elevator can catch a glimpse of you.

Once in the room, you let out a breath, and move to dig through your suitcase for your bathing suit. Jimin’s lips are a trap, and if not for the unwanted visitor, you’d have likely done more than kiss, but now isn’t the time. 

Aside from the party downstairs waiting, your thoughts and feelings are a jumbled mess. Lust mixed with confusion mixed with guilt. Truth be told since you started this thing with Jimin, guilt was always in the back of your mind. Not telling anyone about the two of you weighed on you at times, especially when it came to Sunyoung. You don’t know quite what her reaction will be to her childhood best friend fucking her little brother, but you can’t imagine it’d be anything positive.

Then there are both of your parents who would have too many questions and thoughts, but a new blanket of shame takes over knowing that Jimin has had someone in his life other than you this whole time, so it’s a lot to take in. You do know that something in you hates the idea of Jimin being with someone else. You’re sure he fucks other people when you’re away from home because it’s not like you were exclusive, but you had only slept with a few other people. You haven’t dated anyone though and you didn’t think he would either, but that was proving to be a wrong assumption on your part.

With all of this in mind, for some reason, the idea of never sleeping with Jimin again seems terrible. Not kissing him or cuddling - it’s not something you can imagine just not doing anymore. Momo seems sweet, but you were here first to be fair. And clearly, Jimin still wants you, so as long as you continue to stay hush about it, maybe you can keep living with your guilt and your secrets since he apparently can too.

Everyone stays by the pool for a couple of hours before going back to their rooms to change for the evening music performance your parents want everyone to go to before dinner. Sunyoung already declares that she’ll be going to bed after, having had one too many cocktails at the pool. She’s already going on about, planning the morning yoga class the two of you will take tomorrow followed by breakfast and the spa. You let her go on all afternoon, both excited about spending time with her but also planning how and when you’ll get Jimin to yourself.

You too have a good number of drinks as you lounge and occasionally swim, all the while doing as much as you can to make sure Jimin looks at you in your bikini. You dunk underwater and pop back up in the sexiest way possible, his desperate eyes locked on your every movement. Anytime you need to bend down to climb out of the water, you do it where he can see and it seems to work.

When your families go to the recreation room in the resort to watch the show, you sit between Jimin and Sunyoung, keeping most of your body nonchalantly pressed against him. Each time you shift to talk to your parents next to him and Momo, your breasts purposely rub against his arm and every time, Jimin fidgets in his seat, doing his best to hide his discomfort.

The band onstage begins playing an upbeat, catchy song which, given the amount of alcohol most guests have been tossing back all day, quickly has people on their feet. As the beginning of the song plays, Sunyoung jumps up, pulling you with her to the dancefloor a short way away from the seats.

Your families clap along, cheering the two of you on as you move to the music, both of you laughing along while moving around one another. Your dress, a slinky, short, royal blue-colored slip number keeps perfectly moving around your curves, keeping Jimin entranced the whole time.

Even after a few more songs and well into dinner, Jimin seems to be different than when you arrived. Earlier, he so desperately kept himself from making eye contact, but now he practically does nothing other than watch your every move and hang onto your every word.

At one point, Sunyoung jokes with you during a bathroom break that she thinks her brother’s high school crush on you is coming back.

“It’s gross the way he was staring at you when we were dancing.” She sticks her tongue out as she washes her hands but you just chuckle.

“I would hope that anyone under the age of 40 was checking me out. I wore this dress for a reason!” You wink at her through the mirror and you both laugh, Sunyoung launching into how much she hopes she can get laid this trip. You agree, leaving out who of course, you hope it’ll be with.

To ensure this happens sooner rather than later, two hours later, when you’re back in your room and Sunyoung is in the shower, you decide to take a quick video for Jimin.  

Once you hear her humming along to the soft sounds of one of her playlists, you turn the tv volume up a little more and sit on the chair in front of the room’s full-length mirror. 

Taking position, you zoom the camera in to focus on your neck and down. After hitting record, your hand sensually slides from around your neck, down to your breast, and squeezes.

“Jimin,” you whisper into the phone. “I’ve missed you so much. I need you tomorrow.” Creeping your hand lower, you slowly zoom in, stopping at the bottom of your sleep shirt. You lift it, showing off your little shorts. 

“Can you make time for me?”

Shirt between your teeth, you pull down the front of your shorts, wriggling them to your knees, and lean back in the chair. In this new position, you open your legs as wide as you can, giving Jimin a full view of your pussy before stopping the video. That’s all he deserves until tomorrow. He’s left you hanging for two weeks already so he can wait another night.

Video sent, you get back into bed, scrolling on Instagram until your phone vibrates with a text from Jimin.

A picture comes through not soon after and it’s exactly what you thought it’d be: a picture of Jimin holding his hard dick, his hand wrapped around it tightly.

Biting your lip, you clamp your thighs together, willing yourself to calm down. Resisting the strong urge to continue with him, you say goodnight, telling him to be patient and put your phone on the charger, letting your travel exhaustion force you to sleep.

Somehow, Sunyoung managed to set an alarm for the next morning so that you don’t miss yoga on the beach. Bleary-eyed, you get up (after she’s jumped on your bed for nearly five minutes) and change into comfortable clothes. 

While you had initially been skeptical, seeing how you’d been going to the same yoga studio back home for a few years, it was enjoyable and you were in a much better mood. Afterwards, the two of you stuff yourselves with breakfast burritos and fresh-pressed juice before happily heading to the resort spa.

Sunyoung scheduled a whole package for the two of you complete with massages, seaweed wraps, facials, and a manicure and pedicure. It’s a much-needed pamper session and quality time you and your best friend needed.

New York City has been great for gaining more independence, but that’s about it. You’ve made a few decent friends at your job and from college, but you miss your family and your closest friends more than anything, and being with Sunyoung again reminds you of home and all the inside jokes and stories you share.

During your pedicures, the two of you recline with your facial masks, gossiping about people from high school that she still sees around. She’s talking about a guy that’s always had a crush on her and how she finally had sex with him when she shifts the conversation to you.

“Okay, so like, I know you told our parents you don’t have anyone in your life, but be honest with me.”

You fight the urge to open your eyes and keep cool. It’s not the first time you’ve feared being found out by her.

“Why do you think I’m not being honest?”

“Y/n, I’ve known you since we were barely stringing together coherent sentences. I’ve had a feeling you’ve been seeing someone for a while, but you just never told me. I could be wrong and my best friend radar could be shit now, but I don’t think that’s the case.”

Unfortunately for you, her senses are still as sharp as ever. She’s staring at you, gaze unwavering as she waits for your answer, so you make the split decision to tell her a half-truth.

“Fine. I’ve been sleeping with someone, but it’s completely casual.”

Sunyoung aggressively shuffles in her seat and when you crack an eye open to look at her, she’s beaming back at you looking victorious.

“I knew it! I always know these things, especially about you! I don’t know why you’d be dumb enough to try and hide it from me. Now tell me all about them, you filthy liar.”

Letting out a sigh, you adjust in your chair to look at her, your mind working overtime to form the words to tell her what you can without blowing your cover.

“Well, I met him through a friend of mine at work. He’s her cousin and it hasn’t been anything serious, but we’ve been messing around.”

“Okay, and how long has that been going on?”

“Like two years I think.”

Sunyoung chokes on her water, apologizing to her nail tech for jolting so suddenly in her seat.

“I’m sorry, you’ve been fucking him for two years and you’re only friends with benefits?! Bullshit.”

“What do you mean bullshit?” 

“You’re not about to sit here and tell me you’ve been messing around with someone for two years and there isn’t something more there.��

“I mean, there isn’t! We’re only sleeping together.”

“Yeah because one of you is too scared to do anything else.” She shrugs, eyeing you intensely over her water bottle. 

You blink at her, a frown forming. “I don’t think so, girl. I think this is just easier.”

Sunyoung rolls her eyes. “Easier for who? Did you tell each other it’s easier? Or do just you think it's easier?”

“When did it become about just me?” You scoff, a strange discomfort overcoming you as the conversation progresses. Yes, it’s easier for you to just sleep with and sext Jimin. Who he’s related to aside, you’re on opposite sides of the country and long-distance is messy. Plus you’ve only ever briefly considered dating Jimin, but nothing can happen. Your arrangement works for both of you. 

“It’s not just about you, but I want you to know you just had a whole mini-monologue these last few seconds. There was nothing behind those eyes.” Sunyoung laughs at the huff you let out as you turn to hide your expression. 

“I forgot you’re weird and intuitive when you want to be. Stop it,” you half-joke.

“Nope, never. I just know a lot about people and their feelings. You’re lucky I can’t read minds because I would tell you so much more about yourself than I do now.” Your best friend winks at you before telling her nail tech she has to use the bathroom.

“And by the way,” Sunyoung says as she gingerly stands up. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad or anything about what you have going on with this guy. I’m sure you both have your reasons for keeping it friends-with-benefits for so long, but it may be worth thinking about how you really feel and maybe having a discussion with him about it. I have a feeling you really need to straighten things out.” She shrugs before scurrying off in her slippers.

You lay back and digest her words. Sunyoung has always had a habit of knowing you almost better than you know yourself. On one hand, dating Jimin would be much less of a pain in the ass - no more hiding and keeping so many secrets. Plus all the guilt about hiding it would vanish and finally let you breathe.

But you can’t date. He’s your best friend’s little brother. It would be a lot to explain and to navigate, and he has a whole-ass girlfriend here with him. You tell yourself once again that friends with benefits is easier for both of you and that it’s what you both want.

With freshly painted toes and fingers and relaxed muscles, you and Sunyoung leave the spa in search of lunch. You decide on a little Italian restaurant at the resort and run into both of your parents and eat with them.

“We’re heading out to do some shopping after we eat. What are you girls up to?” Your dad asks, stealing a forkful of pasta off of your plate.

You swat at his hand. “I was thinking of taking a nap. Today relaxed me too much so now I don’t want to do anything.” You lie, having already texted Jimin earlier today formulating when to meet.

“Boo! I wanted to go boating! They have a little marina and they’ll take you out and let you see dolphins.” Sunyoung gives you a thumbs down.

“You know I don’t like boats.”

“I thought you grew out of that!”

“Have you ever seen me on a boat other than our middle school graduation where I cried and found out I was in fact, scared of being on boats?” Your best friend pouts, sighing dramatically.

“Fine! I’ll see if Jimin and Momo want to go with me.” Sunyoung pulls out her phone at the same time you glance at yours under the table.

When you sat down for lunch, Jimin texted you, saying that he was still trying to convince Momo to go out and do something without him so you could come to his room. Sunyoung wanting to go boating works out in your favor because she soon announces that Momo is going with her because Jimin isn’t feeling well.

“What going on?” His mom seems worried.

“Oh, he said he may have been out in the sun too long while they were at the pool earlier today.”

Mrs. Park tsks. “I bet he didn’t put on any sunscreen. I warned him.”

“Yeah well luckily Momo came and she’s not afraid of boats!” Sunyoung playfully sticks her tongue out at you and you return the gesture.

Lunch goes by slowly, anticipation building at the prospect of finally being alone with Jimin. Momo joins you all to meet Sunyoung as you finish eating. The goodbyes are quick, your mom reminding everyone to be back to have dinner together. Sunyoung promises to text when she’s on her way, threatening you to be ready so you can do something fun. 

The group waves at one another and as soon as you see everyone get into separate resort vans, you turn on your heel and walk as conspicuously yet quickly as you can to the elevators. 

The ride to the seventh floor seems much too long, but as soon as the doors open, you’re sprinting to Jimin’s room and knocking.

He opens the door a second later and you’re on him immediately. You barely get the door closed with your foot, but you manage to do so and fumble behind you for the lock. With one leg behind you, you lose your balance and knock Jimin against the wall as your mouths move together feverishly.

The kisses you share are sloppy and frantic but that’s exactly how you feel. It’s been a year since you’ve got to touch Jimin, to kiss Jimin, and you want to make up for missed time and so much more.

When your lungs begin to burn, you pull away, both of you gasping for air. You lean down into Jimin’s neck, teeth nipping at his soft skin.

“I’m still a little annoyed with you and this whole girlfriend situation you know.” The word is enunciated with a harsh bite.

Jimin yelps. “Y/n, I - ah!”

You lightly chuckle at his outburst, licking the red skin. “The girlfriend you didn’t tell me about.” 

“Y/n, I’m sorry.”

“All this time, you were saying you missed me. I don’t know if I believe you.” You pout up at him as your fingers undo his white button-down. Jimin’s eyes follow as you slide the shirt off of his toned shoulders.

You’d nearly forgotten how beautiful Jimin’s body is. His lithe, dancer’s body trembling under your fingertips. Mouth watering, you tear your gaze away and find the button of his shorts.

“I did miss you!”

“And what exactly did you miss about me?”

Jimin lets out a shaky breath. “Every part of you. Your soft skin how hood you always smell, your pretty hands, your thighs… so thick and warm.” He ends his sentence with a sigh as you let his shorts fall to the floor. He’s already so hard, his length straining against the fabric of his underwear. The two of you have been sexting all day whenever Sunyoung was barely looking, so you’re both plenty pent up.

“And I bet you miss what’s between my thighs.” Your tone is sweet yet authoritative, just the way Jimin likes you to treat him when you’re together like this.

“Fuck, yes I do.” He grunts when you run a finger over his print.

“Well, I suppose you can make it up to me.”

He answers in a rush, saying he’ll do anything that you want. You let out a giggle at his desperation, hiding your own. 

“How about you make me cum then, Minie? Eat me out and I’ll think about forgiving you.” 

Jimin doesn’t even answer, instead grabbing for you and practically dragging you to the bed, tossing you onto it. He’s on you in an instant, pillow lips kissing your neck as he works to undo the knot on the crop top you’re wearing. Once the fabric is open, he pulls down your bandeau, lavishing your collarbones and breasts with open-mouth kisses.

Your back arches when he greedily takes a nipple into his mouth, suckling each one for a while before he keeps going down to eagerly get to your shorts. Lifting yourself from the bed you help him shimmy your shorts and panties off and in an instant, he’s burying his face in your crotch.

Jimin lets out a groan as he loudly inhales your scent, such a lewd act having you clench around nothing. He doesn’t leave you wanting for long though, as he then licks a stripe from your entrance up to your clit, and before you have a chance to process that, his lips take a hold of your clit as he sucks and flicks your sensitive bud with his tongue.

“Oh!” You can’t help but wriggle in his grasp as he takes a hold of your thighs, delving his tongue between your folds, mouth moving as if you’re his last meal.

Jimin slurps at your pussy, grunting and sighing while he works. Your eyes slip close and your fingers find his red strands, yanking him impossibly closer. 

“Shit, Jimin, you’re so good with your mouth. You love eating my pussy that much huh?”

“Mmph!” He answers, not leaving his position, his tongue now pistoning in and out of you. Jimin angles his head so that with every move, his nose rubs against your clit, the dual stimulation bringing you that much closer.

“Yes, yes, yes, just like that, Minie! Don’t stop!” Your words are pleading and he obliges, never having been able to say no to you. 

Less than a minute later, your back is arching as shockwaves shoot through you, and you let out a scream of Jimin’s name. You cum hard enough that you’re still shaking under him, but he doesn’t stop. Instead, Jimin moves again, his mouth suctioning around your clit as he easily slides a finger into your wet hole. 

Instinctively, your body tries to shrink away, but he doesn’t let you. He keeps a strong grip on your hips as he fingers you, quickly stuffing another finger into you. Torn between dragging him closer again and pushing him away, you settle for resting one of your legs on his shoulder. You keep a hold on his hair, your rapidly approaching your second orgasm already making you feel as if you’ll float away.

This is why you can’t leave him alone. His hands, his mouth, his everything keeps your body aching for him and only him. You’ve never been touched or kissed or fucked by any other person as good as the way Jimin does. The two of you barely needed to have any conversation about what the other liked and didn’t like when you started sleeping together. Somehow you, and especially he just knew.

Does that make you selfish? Absolutely, but how can you find it in yourself to call it quits when Jimin can leave you nothing but a sweaty, ruined wreck before even properly fucking you?

The second time you cum, is even harder than the first and actually makes your muscles sore from tensing so hard as you make a mess on Jimin’s fingers. He gasps for air as he finally lets your sore clit out of his mouth, only to move back down to your entrance to clean you up.

You whine at the overstimulation but let him finish, finally pushing him away when he attempts to dive back in for the third time.

“That’s enough for now, you maniac!” You laugh, seeing your juices glisten on his chin as he smiles up at you. Upon seeing him, something stirs in your heart instead of your crotch, but you will it away.

Instead, you sit up, pulling Jimin’s face to yours in a bruising kiss. You reach for his crotch, feeling just how hard he is and he mewls into your mouth.

“You’re so good to me, Minie,” you break away, placing kisses on his ear and neck. “Can I reward you?”

“Please!” He begs, his needy tone already causing wetness to pool between your thighs again.

The two of you make quick work to switch positions, Jimin now on his back against the pillows as you settle between his legs, yanking his underwear off.

His girthy cock is so hard it’s bright red, pre-cum dribbling out as soon as your hand ghosts over it. Jimin is panting as he watches you tease him, pout intensifying as he watches you stroke him with barely any pressure.

Deciding to be nice and not play with him, you lean down and slowly take him into your mouth, inch by inch until he’s in as far as you can fit him.

“Y/n!” He keens as soon as you wrap your lips around him, your hand grasping what your mouth doesn’t reach. Hollowing your cheeks, you begin to bob on his cock, the slurping from your mouth and the babble from Jimin above you filling your ears as you close your eyes and concentrate. 

Truth be told, you’ve never been a fan of giving blowjobs, but as with so many other things, it all comes back to Jimin. He’s so different in every way from anyone else. You don’t mind the weight on your tongue with the way that Jimin becomes boneless and pliant whenever his dick is in your mouth.

He’s generally boisterous and goofy with everyone around you, but when he’s with just you, that dies down. He’s still lively and chatty but on a softer scale. It’s then when he’s under you like this, completely submitting to you and whatever you want, that he becomes the most soft-spoken version of himself you’ve ever seen. He’ll let you do anything you want to him as long as it’s safe and makes him feel good, so you do.

Besides, how could you deny him when he cries out your name in such a desperate, beautiful way that he does now?

“Please, please, Y/n!” 

“Hmm? Need something, Minie?” You lift just enough to speak, before deciding to take back what you thought earlier about being nice and relaxing your throat to swallow him down, deep enough that your nose grazes his pubic hair.

“Ahh!” He bucks his hips up out of reflex, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. “S-sorry! I’m sor-!” His apology is quick, but you still reach down and grip his balls harshly as a small punishment for choking you which cuts off his sentence, gagging on his words.

Jimin’s eyes lock back on you, your hand back to stroking what’s not in your mouth while you massage his balls. He’s very clearly pleading without words and you already know he’s close to cumming just from your mouth alone.

Just to fuck with him a little more, you pull back from him just enough to wrap your lips around his cockhead and suck hard, nibbling at the overly sensitive skin just a little.

“Y/n, please! I need you so badly. I wanna fuck you!” He sounds close to tears and that’s when you decide it’s time to put you both out of your misery.

“You have to fuck me good,” you say around him. “Make up for lost times.”

Jimin, bites his bottom lip into his mouth, nodding his head furiously. “Mmhmm. I will, I will!” 

With a smirk, you let go of him with a ‘pop,’ and position yourself over his cock. You’re more than ready to cum again, your pussy aching to be filled with him, so you follow his instructions as to where his condoms are in his suitcase. Once the rubber is snug on him, you carefully sink down, burying him inside of you in one go.

Both of you let out identical sounds of relief at finally getting to the best part. Hands planted on his firm chest, you start to move your hips with enough force to jolt the whole mattress.

“Ah! Y/n, so good,” Jimin cries out, his large hands reaching out to grip your thighs as he fixates on your tits bouncing with each jerk of your body. 

“Fuck, Minie. You’re so big, you stretch me out so good.” Your voice is thick with arousal and neediness, matching his.

Everything else around you melts away as you ride Jimin, both of you filling the room with a harmony of moans and squelches. The air around you is hot, almost stifling while you lose the rhythm you built up, the pleasure making you unable to concentrate on your movements.

“Oh, Jimin I’m so close,” You rasp out, voice already sore. 

He takes this as his cue to plant his feet on the bed better and begin thrusting up, bouncing you on his cock faster. You’re breathless now, head swimming with nothing but the way Jimin always fills you up just right and knows how to make you feel good.

One of your hands scrambles to find your clit, desperately chasing the end as both of your bodies begin to tremble in tandem.

Your other manicured hand trails up Jimin’s chest to his throat as you wrap your hand around and squeeze. His brown eyes widen before rolling into the back of his head, plump lips falling open. His hips pick up speed, moving so ferociously that you nearly lose your balance and fall off him.

Eyes closed and hips bucking wildly, Jimin looks so deliciously sinful underneath you. His mouth hangs open as you loosen your grip slightly, letting him take a deep gulp of air. You can’t help leaning over and pursing your lips so that a glob of spit drips from your mouth and into his open one. Jimin greedily closes his mouth, and you feel him swallow under your palm, not missing a beat.

“You’re such a good boy for me. I want you to cum with me, baby boy.” Your words are ragged, but still, make Jimin react as his breath hitches. This is what sets him over the edge, and he shoves upwards, hipbones digging into your thighs as he fills the condom inside of you, his cock pulsating as he does.

Releasing your grip on his throat, you brace your hand on his chest again for balance as you cum as well, your eyes crossing as your body nearly falls forward at the force, your yelp mixing with the exquisite, breathy sounds Jimin is making. 

When the gyration of your hips is too much for both of you, you ease yourself up and off of his lap, toppling onto the mattress next to him. The only sound in the room is your labored breathing as you collect yourselves.

“I missed you. So much,” Jimin finally says. The tone in his words is laced with something different. Something that he’s presented you with before, but this time, it sits heavier in your chest than before. Jimin still has feelings for you - that has never changed from day one together, but you never get into what you feel. Mostly because, your feelings for Jimin are complicated, especially now with a girlfriend in the mix.

In an attempt to change the mood, you roll over and grab your phone, seeing texts from Sunyoung with photos of her and Momo in their lifejackets and the ocean behind them.

“Looks like your sister and girlfriend are enjoying the boat.” You say ‘girlfriend’ in a way that makes Jimin sigh.

“Y/n, I said I was sorry! Seriously I know I should’ve told you about Momo.”

“I’ve never been the other woman with anyone. It feels wrong.” You voice out loud, and you mean it. Remorse that you’ve been causing him to hurt this girl who seems to genuinely like him gnaws at your brain again.

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry okay? This kind of just spiraled out of control and I don’t wanna make excuses for myself, but I just wasn’t thinking right when she asked me out. I was just thinking about you and didn’t wanna lose you.” His expression is serious, matching the certainty in his tone.

“Jimin, I believe you, but if you want me still, you have to break it off with Momo. You shouldn’t just keep her around to be a placeholder.”

“I will! If you want me to, I’ll break up with her. When do you want me to?”

“Uh, I don’t know. When do you think you should?”

Scratching the back of his neck nervously he breaks your gaze, staring at the ceiling.

“Well, uh, I mean I don’t think I should do it while we’re here, I mean that’d be hella awkward wouldn’t it? We just got here and I at least want her to have a good vacation, you know?” 

Frowning, you mull his words around in your head. If he breaks up with her now, on day two of vacation, they still have the rest of the week to awkwardly be around each other and your families. He has a point, that maybe he should at least let her enjoy the week before breaking things off.

“I guess so. But does that mean we should stop -”

“Please don’t say that!” Jimin cuts you off. “I just, I can’t go this whole week without kissing or touching you. I’ve already had to wait months to be with you again. I’ll go crazy having you so close and not being able to do anything. I know it’s wrong, but can we please keep being terrible people for just a few more days? I need you.”

Jimin’s distraught, the idea of this being the only time he gets to be in bed with you distressing him.

Against your better judgment (including your conscious which is so loudly reminding you how terrible cheating is) after just a few seconds you break down, agreeing you won’t stay away. You’ve already fooled around for the first six months of his relationship, so what’s another week?

“Fine. But you need to end it with her when you get home, okay?”

“Thank you!” His eagerness makes you laugh. You smile up at him and he returns it tenfold, his eyes disappearing with the gesture.

“Want to take a nap with me before we have to be perceived by our families again?” Jimin jokes, clearly really wishing you’ll say yes.

“Sure, Minie.” He eagerly rolls back over on his back, opening his arm to beckon you over to him. Phone in hand you oblige, helping him take off the used condom first, then snuggling into his embrace.

It’s completely normal to cuddle and sleep with your friend with benefits. You and Jimin have done it before and it doesn’t make things weird. You tell yourself over and over as you drift off.

“Jimin?!” A call of Jimin’s names has both of you jolting up, wide-eyed and alert. “Jimin! The deadbolt is on!” Momo’s voice calls to Jimin from the other side of the hotel door. You and he share one single look before you fling yourselves from the bed, scrambling for your clothes. 

He gives you a panicked look as his phone rings from under your shirt, Momo’s picture showing on the screen. You toss him his phone as you pull your bandeau and shirt on, desperately scrounging around for your panties.

“Hello?” He clears his throat when he answers while pulling his shorts up.

“You’re in the room, but you’re not opening the door! I heard your phone.”

“Shit, sorry, I’m in the bathroom, but I’ll be right out.” You’re both clothed then, but the realization that you’re trapped in the hotel room with him with only one way out hits you.

“Hurry up. I want to shower, before dinner.”

“Okay, I’ll only be a few seconds.” He hangs up and looks as though he’s ready to cry.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” you whisper to soothe him. “Look, I’ll get under the bed. When she’s in the bathroom, I’ll make a run for it, okay?”

Pouting, Jimin agrees and he goes to unlock the door as you crawl underneath the hotel bed.

You listen as Momo comes into the room. The sound of them sharing a kiss has your face scrunching in discomfort. 

“Ew, Jimin, did you just puke or something? Your face smells weird.” Momo smelling you on her boyfriend makes you both mortified and oddly prideful.

“Huh? Oh! Yeah, I did, sorry. I wasn’t feeling great, but I’m alright now.”

“If you start to feel icky at any point tonight let me know,” she coos at him before walking across the room to the bathroom. “I’m just going to shower then we can get ready and go.” As you’re about to crawl out, you see her feet appear again. Luckily you’re half out on the floor on the side of the bed that she can’t see. “You can join me if you want to of course. We have plenty of time before we have to meet everyone else.” What you presume to be Momo’s tube top falls to the floor and from where you are you can see Jimin gawking at her.

“Yeah. Okay. Let me just um, make sure my phone is charging.”

“M'kay. But don’t leave me waiting.” Her feet disappear into the bathroom again and when you hear the sound of the shower you scurry out and dash across the floor on all fours to get past the bathroom door and to the room door. 

Before you sneak out, Jimin leans out to kiss you, not caring that he just did the same to another woman. 

“See you at dinner.” He says with a smile. He pokes his head out into the hallway before you, citing it was clear and you slink out, giving him a final kiss before rushing to your room. The shower is running when you enter so you call out to Sunyoung.

“Hey!”

“Y/n? Where were you? I came in and you weren’t here.”

“Oh yeah, I wanted a pre-dinner snack so I went downstairs to grab something. I lost track of time.”

“Answer your phone next time! I know you don’t like boats but I brought you a dolphin shirt anyway!” You glance at the shirt on your bed, another rush of guilt washing over you. Your best friend was thinking about you while she was doing an activity that you were afraid of while you were fucking her brother. 

An unpleasant feeling swirls in you as you couple this with nearly getting caught not even five minutes ago and you spend far too long standing in the middle of the room. Should you keep doing this? Is this crushing remorse worth it? You’re conflicted and start to descend into a heavy conversation with yourself when Sunyoung calling your name stops that in its tracks.

“What?” You yell back, louder than intended.

“I asked if you wanted to shower too. I’m almost done.”

“Oh, yeah, I will,” you nod even though she can’t see you. Seeing how you’re still covered in your and Jimin’s sweat from earlier, you realize how gross you feel.

“Alright, I’ll leave the water on!” You get ready for your shower, trying to talk yourself out of the headspace you’re entering. You’ll do some more soul-searching later, but for now, you want to carry on the rest of the evening as if your life is normal. Thoughts of Jimin and what you do with him will have to wait.

Your Jimin thoughts intrude quicker than you wanted them to. When you meet the families downstairs for dinner. Everyone is dressed fairly formally since your parents scheduled a wine tasting after dinner. Jimin and Momo join you and Sunyoung in the elevator and you have to pinch yourself to stop staring at him. Form-fitting black slacks hug his muscular thighs and ass. A black button-down with the sleeves rolled up and the top two buttons undone. You’re convinced he’s doing this on purpose - that he remembers just how much you appreciate it when his clothes fit him just right.

During dinner, your families sit at a large round table and somehow you’ve lucked out sitting across from Jimin. You can’t stop yourself from teasing him, seizing this opportunity to slip your shoe off and rest your foot against his thigh. 

He jumps, using the excuse that he felt a chill.

“Maybe if you weren’t walking around with your shirt open like you’re somebody,” Sunyoung snorts.

Jimin sneers at his sister. “I look better than you.”

“In your fucking dreams. Shut up and put your pepperoni nipples away.”

“Fuck off!” 

“Hey, both of you shut up!” Mr. Park chides his kids. Both Jimin and Sunyoung shoot each other one last dirty look before Sunyoung turns to talk to you. You do your best to listen and ignore yet another negative wave of emotion rolling over you. That back-and-forth reminds you once again of who Jimin is. You watched him and Sunyoung argue with one another since Jimin was in elementary school. And his dick was in your mouth mere hours ago.

You toss your glass of champagne back, telling yourself as loud as you can to stop. “Stop with so many self-realizations and just enjoy your vacation! It’s only the second night!”

You’re determined to listen to yourself, and you do so through the rest of dinner. Even after that, when your families move to another large room for the wine tasting. You and Sunyoung giggle and chat over glass after glass, focusing on nothing but you and her.

By the end of it, you have a sufficient buzz going, and you’re feeling much better. You go to bed easily, falling asleep in no time with much less stress than you had earlier.

Wine can only do so much for you. You quickly learn as the next few days go by. When you’re not with Sunyoung or with your parents or both families, you’re taking any opportunity to be alone with Jimin. Whether it’s letting him finger you in the stairwell when everyone was spread about the resort or sucking him off in the bathroom while everyone was waiting for their desserts after dinner. 

Your time at the resort is only a week, so even though your conscious is beating your ass every time you sneak away, your pussy refuses to listen, only focused on the feeling and the sensation that is Jimin. 

The only problem is after you both get what you want, you’re distracted by how terrible you feel afterwards. After sleeping with Jimin as long as you have been, you’ve been able to expertly suppress any negative feelings about what you’re doing. This week has been incredibly trying on you, but you can’t pinpoint why (or, rather, you refuse to acknowledge why).

Is it because this time away was supposed to be about spending time together and having fun with your family, but you’ve only been focusing on getting off? Or is it because you know that after you make Jimin cum, he’s going to sleep next to another woman who may also do the same for him on the same day? 

It’s likely to be both of these things, coupled with how long this secret has been festering, but you can’t stop. It’s selfish and it makes you sound as though you have a sex addiction, but your body responds to Jimin in a way that you can’t replicate with anyone else and you crave it, so in a way, you are addicted to him. 

You crave it so badly that in between scuba diving and shopping you’re holing up somewhere secret for a quick fuck. You can barely keep track of the lies you’ve told Sunyoung or your parents this week, but you know it’s more than you think you’ve ever lied to the same people in such a short amount of time.

Even with all of the acknowledgment that what you’re doing is wrong and with all the people impacted around you in mind, you still text Jimin on the second to last night of your stay at the resort and tell him to meet you at the jacuzzi outside around midnight. 

During the day, both families have a beach day and with everyone staying in the sun most of the day, playing volleyball and frisbee, everyone is more than ready for bed after dinner. Your dad reminds everyone that tomorrow is your last day and therefore will be a family day. Knowing that this may be your last opportunity with Jimin since tomorrow night, you’ll likely be too focused on family and packing to leave the next morning.

You and Sunyoung watch a movie before bed and once it’s over and she’s sound asleep, you creep out of the room, already having put on your bathing suit underneath, and tip-toe into the hallway and to the elevator.

Jimin is already sitting on the edge of the hot tub, shirt off and feet in the bubbling water.

“I didn’t think you’d beat me here,” you chuckle, your voice making him jump.

“Oh! Yeah, Momo went to bed early because she thinks she has food poisoning.” 

“And instead of caring for her you’re here with another woman.” You shake this thought away, pulling off your pajamas and watching the way Jimin’s face lights up at the sight of your light blue bikini that leaves so little to the imagination. 

You toss your clothes on the pool chair with his things and don’t miss how he watches intently as you step into the hot tub and lower yourself into the water. When you beckon him in with a crook of your finger, he hurries in next to you, his chest pressed against your arm. The two of you sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, watching as the few other couples out for a night swim a few feet away from you go back inside, leaving just you and Jimin outside. The sky is dark, but the stars are shining bright enough that it’s not pitch-black. The outdoor area is equipped with fancy-looking string lights around and the smell of the ocean lingers with how close the resort is.

The whole thing would be romantic if your relationship with Jimin wasn’t what it is.

“Tomorrow’s the last day of vacation.” Jimin mumbles. When you glance at him, his head is reclining against the built-in headrest. 

“Yeah, it is. And it’s family day. I think our parents want us to go on a tour or something.”

“We’ll barely be able to spend time together, and tomorrow you’re going to get on a plane and go back to New York.” His words are low and sullen. Each time you’ve been hooking up when you’re together in person, he always gets in a gloomy mood towards the end. He’s happy to be with you but never looks forward to when you leave.

He’s pouting up at the sky, likely too much in his head. To distract him (and yourself to be honest) you shift to turn and place small kisses on his neck. The water lets you easily slot yourself between his legs as you move up to kiss him.

Jimin wraps his arms around your waist pulling you closer, his tongue immediately poking out to rub against your lips. You open your mouth, letting Jimin in, both of you messily making out, your hands grasping at any wet body part you can touch.

The sounds of the night dissolve around you as you melt into Jimin, savoring every clash of teeth and tongue since you may not get much of a chance tomorrow. 

When you finally pull away, you press your forehead against his, both of you catching your breath.

“I need you, Y/n,” He juts his hips forward, to emphasize his words, the hardness in his pants knocking into your leg. “Since this could be our last chance for a while.”

Your eyes quickly take in your surroundings. The two of you are still the only ones outside that you can see. Most of the windows overlooking the pool are dark and/or have their curtains pulled tight. Any open curtains are on much higher floors, way too high for anyone to look outside and see what’s going on. 

“Fine, but we have to be quick. We don’t want anyone coming outside and seeing us.”

Nodding Jimin agrees, his hands immediately reaching out to grab your waist. He slips a hand easily into your bathing suit bottom, his warm fingers flicking your clit.

“Ah-” Jimin’s lips land on yours, muffling the yell you nearly let out. He keeps kissing you as he picks up the pace, pinching at your bud a few more times before slipping a finger inside of you with ease.

“Gotta stretch you out for me, princess.” Your eyebrows shoot up at the pet name, but you don’t object. Jimin sounds nervous saying it, but your reaction gives him the confidence he needs, his finger moving faster. He brings his thumb up to rub your clit, making you bury your face in his neck to stifle another moan.

Not knowing where to put your hands you decide to pull his swim trunks down enough for his cock to pop out and wrap a hand around him to start stroking him.

“Fuck…” he hisses the word, his fingers slowing down for a second before he recovers to begin again.

The two of you kiss again, spending who knows how long exactly whining into each other’s mouth, working one another up.

You jerk him off rougher, his body shaking against you and he has to grab your wrist to stop.

“I want to cum in you, not in your hand,” Jimin says matter of faculty. “Hang on.” He turns, twisting and stretching his body enough to grab the leg of the chair holding with your things and pull it closer. He digs around in his pant pocket for a second before coming back with a condom.

You let out a snicker, watching him tear it open and roll it on. 

“Did you plan to fuck me in the hot tub this whole time?”

Sheepishly he shakes his head. “No, I promise I didn’t! I was just hoping that we would find somewhere to use it. I wasn’t going to be picky where.” He gives you a tiny smile, hoping you still want to go.

“That’s fine…I was going to find somewhere to have you take me too,” you admit.

That’s all the reassurance Jimin needs. His lips are on your neck as he pumps himself underwater. 

“Pull your bottoms to the side for me,” he whispers, the huskiness in his voice immediately making you quiver and do as he says. 

Jimin’s cockhead grazes your thigh, then your clit, before it breaches your entrance, Jimin bottoming out immediately. Neither of you moves for a moment, letting your walls adjust to him. 

Shakily, you tell him to move, and he does, starting slow, the water around you barely rippling. For a better angle, you hop a little with enough force to wrap your legs around his waist. Jimin turns, still inside you, so that your back is against the jacuzzi wall. He uses this new position to move faster, trapping you between his body and the wall.

Soon enough, Jimin stops being gentle, driving his cock into you deeper with each thrust and taking your breath away each time. 

“O-oh, fuck, Jimin!” It’s a louder cry than you intend, both of you peeking around, but he doesn’t falter. Once again, he swallows any more of your sounds with his mouth.

“You can cum if you’re quiet, princess.” The mere authoritative tone has your eyes rolling back as you nod your head. You’re so used to being the one that demands, more or less, that you never thought about Jimin taking on that role. You’ll desperately need to let Jimin take the lead more often.

One of Jimin’s hands is still holding under your ass while the other wedges between your bodies to rub your clit again, and you’re already embarrassingly close to cumming.

Whining into his mouth makes both his hand and finger move quicker, pushing you to the end. Mumbling his name, the tight coil in the pit of your stomach snaps, as you cling for dear life to Jimin. Your nails accidentally dig into his shoulder as you do and he hisses in response.

“Y/n..” This time his words are back to a whimper. “So tight around my cock!” Jimin’s fingers dig into your ass and your thigh as he throws his head back body shaking with his own orgasm as he bites down on his bottom lip.

“Yes, come on, Minie, fill me up.” You pepper his neck with kisses as you rock your hips softly, letting him ride out his pleasure.

A few more choked moans slip past his plump lips as he comes down, carefully slipping his softening cock out of you. You kiss once more, the jacuzzi now starting to feel too warm.

“Y/n, I miss you already.”

Smiling, you reach up to brush back his sweaty bangs.

“I’m gonna miss you too you know. This week flew by too fa -”

“Hey! No!” A rush of voices from behind both of you has you leaping apart. Jimin fumbles to tuck himself back into his swim shorts and you have to quickly pull your bikini bottoms back into place. 

Two men and a woman dressed in the resort’s employee attire are yelling at you and Jimin as they approach. The woman points to a sign behind you that you hadn’t even noticed. There is a list of things it clearly says you aren’t allowed to do which include not bringing glass drinks to the hot tub, not being naked, and no “inappropriate activities.” Above the sign is a security camera and upon seeing it, embarrassment takes over from head to toe. The fear of them witnessing you and Jimin having sex in the hot tub makes you want to vomit.

“We’re sorry! So sorry!” You and Jimin talk over yourselves, apologizing over and over again.

“Out!” The woman says, beckoning you both to get out of the hot tub and you do without question. 

She explains that since you and Jimin broke such an unsanitary rule, the resort will be charging you a clean-up and disinfectant fee. The account that the room is under will be charged. You nearly burst into tears, begging her to pay it upfront since you already know your dad is going to question the additional fee on the receipt. The employee says no, it has to be the card on file. She warns you not to let it happen again or you’ll be banned from the resort - not that you think you’ll even ever return after this.

You attempt to plead to her once more when the sound of the fire alarm going off stops all conversation. She tells you that she will get your name the reservation is under and the room number later, but for now go outside to the front of the resort. You and Jimin hurry into the hotel behind the staff, walking with the crowd of other guests who are going out the front door. 

“Y/n!” Sunyoung’s voice cuts through the crowd and fear overcomes you. Pretending you didn’t hear her you weave through everyone, hoping you can hide out in a spot outside where she can’t see you.

Once outside, you and Jimin manage to blend into the crowd, ignoring the looks from everyone at you and Jimin being the only ones in pool attire, seeing how you both forgot your pajamas by the hot tub. You stay behind a palm tree, as all of the guests mill about, waiting for the okay to go back in.

It takes about twenty minutes before they find the alarm to be false and allow everyone to begin going back inside. 

“Okay,” you whisper to Jimin, keeping your eyes open for any of your family. “If anyone asks, we can just say that we both happened to go out for a late-night swim at the same time. I’ll say I wanted to get into the jacuzzi before we left.”

“And I’ll just say I couldn’t sleep.” You nod at Jimin, both of you confident that this will pass. 

“Y/n!” Sunyoung calls you again, having found you both in the crowd. She grabs your arm, stopping you, and you see Momo and both sets of parents behind her. “I called you when everyone was going outside, but I don’t think you heard me.” She eyes your bathing suit and Jimin’s swim shorts. 

“Where were you, Jimin?” Momo asks when she approaches, also inspecting what you both are wearing.

“Oh, I uh, I couldn’t sleep, so I went out to the pool.”

“Yeah,” you cut in. “I went down to get in the jacuzzi before we leave tomorrow and saw Jimin was down there too. Then the fire alarms went off, and a staff member rushed us out before we could grab our clothes.”

Everyone seems to buy this excuse, although Sunyoung is squinting in a manner that tells you she’s replaying the story over in her head, and she may be the only one with obvious reservations. 

“Well, let’s go and get your clothes, then try and get back to sleep.” You nod, all set to do as your mom says, and leave this behind. When you file back into the resort with the last few guests, you’re feeling better, completely forgetting that the staff is still intending to finish what was started.

“Hey, excuse me,” An employee you don’t recognize stops you all, and you instantly feel like you’re going to throw up again. “You’re the two that were in the hot tub.” She says it rather than asks. She hands you and Jimin your clothes, frowning as she does so. “What is the name your reservation is under?” She powers up her iPad, waiting to type in what you tell her.

“I’m sorry what’s going on?” Your dad steps in, which you’re thankful for because you’ve forgotten how to formulate sentences. 

“Seeing as they broke one of our jacuzzi rules, we need the name of their reservation because they will be charged a fee.”

“Wait, what? They’re in trouble for getting in the hot tub? What, is it closed after midnight or something?”

The staff member assesses the situation, eyeing both your dad then you, and Jimin. Your eyes dart to him and he’s gone paler than you’ve ever seen him. He’s frozen in place and you swear he doesn’t blink.

“These guests-”

“Y/l/n! Room 519!” You blurt, your voice cracking as you say it. The staff member taps away on her screen. “I’ll pay you back, dad.” You promise, hoping that he’ll leave it at that.

“Now, hold on, I could swear the pool area is open twenty-four hours. What the hell am I getting charged for?”

“Yeah, who’d they hurt by swimming at night?” Your Mr. Park chimes in. Every word that’s spoken around you sounds like white noise creeping in slowly. This isn’t going to end the way you want it to. This isn’t going to be the end of it. You’re not going to go back upstairs and go to sleep then go through tomorrow as normal. It’s as clear as day that this is where things go to shit.

“Please, calm down. Our pool and jacuzzis are indeed twenty-four hours, but we have a no inappropriate activity rule in our public spaces and these guests broke that rule. It was addressed and they were told not to let it happen again, but we still have to charge an additional sanitation fee.”

“What? Inappropriate activity? What does that even mean?” Tears well up in your eyes as Mrs. Park looks between you and Jimin.

“Y/n,” Your mom says at the same time, gingerly placing her hand on your shoulder. When you turn to look at her she’s frowning in a way that tells you she knows exactly what that means.

“Mom,” Jimin whispers, urging the conversation to end. The staff member spares you and your families one final look before turning and walking off, leaving eight of you standing in the middle of the lobby in silence, save for your sniffles.

With your stomach twisted in knots, you run to the stairs, deciding that crawling up seven flights of stairs is better than standing with everyone doing nothing. You’re huffing and puffing when you reached your floor and take time to catch your breath, pulling your pajamas on, extremely relieved that the room keycard and your phone are still in your short pockets.

It’s quiet as you walk past rooms to your own. You stop in front of Jimin’s door and press your ear to the wood. You can’t hear exactly what they’re saying, but you can hear raised volumes and fast-talking. In front of your door, it’s quiet, but you’re sure Sunyoung is on the other side, most likely seething.

Stepping inside the room, you see her going around the room tossing her things into her suitcase. When she sees you, she freezes, holding your gaze for a few seconds before wordlessly going back to what she’s doing. If you know Sunyoung, which you do, you know she’s formulating how to tell you off. Cautiously, you go to sit on your bed and see that she’s packing your suitcase.

“What are you doing?” You question softly, to not stir her up.

“Packing your shit. You’ll be staying in the room Jimin and Momo are in, and Momo is coming here. We figure since you and Jimin want so badly to be together, then you may as well share a room.”

“Sunyoung, let me explain.” Tossing your complimentary robe and slippers in the suitcase, she stops and crosses her arms. 

“Please do, since apparently, you’ve never explained any of this to me before.” She’s simmering, but you continue.

“I didn’t tell you about us because I thought you’d be mad. Knowing your best friend has been sleeping with your little brother is weird, and I figured it’d upset you.”

“You’re right, it would, and it is weird, but you know what, that was the second reason I was pissed when I just found out. I was even madder to know that you’d been lying to me the whole trip! All these excuses about being tired and shit were just so you can get into my brother’s pants! Admit it!”

“Yes. I lied all those times, and I’ve been lying to you about us.” Saying the words out loud has you tearing up again.

“How could you not tell me?! Yes, I would’ve gagged and made fun of you guys for eternity, but Y/n, come on! You’re my closest and best fucking friend! If there’s anyone I’d want my brother with, it’d be someone I trust with my life because I know that she’d never hurt him. I would’ve gotten over it, but I’m pissed right now!” She stomps her foot, also looking close to tears, but you know hers are full of anger. 

“Did you even come on this vacation to see me?” Her lip quivers and you jump up to hug her, but she puts her hand out to stop you. 

“Sun, I’m sorry, I was just scared, okay? I was scared of being judged and your parents hating me.”

“You know, Y/n. You always do this thing where you assume how other people will feel without talking to them. Like that time in middle school where you were changing algebra classes because the teacher hated you but you kept it from me because you thought I’d be mad even though I knew how much she sucked.” 

“That’s one time and I was trying to be considerate.” 

“And then remember when Joshua asked you out in 11th grade and you didn’t say anything about it until I overheard him telling his friends you rejected him.”

“I knew you liked him! I didn’t want to upset you and make you mad at me!” 

“See! You always just assume the worst of how I feel and you keep shit from me. Not only is this the longest-running thing you’ve hidden, but it’s about my damn brother!” 

In all honesty, you never realized you had a bad habit of doing this until this moment. It’s always good-natured, but having Sunyoung chronicle your behavior has you rethinking.

“Sun, listen, I’m sorry, okay? I truly didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Well, you did. And you also hurt Momo - both you and Jimin did. She’s a really sweet girl and she treats Jimin well. I’m pissed at both of you.” 

You want to say something else, but a knock on the door has you halting. Sunyoung goes to open it and you see Momo on the other side holding her bags. Her red eyes don’t meet yours as she gives Sunyoung the key in her hand and disappears into the bathroom. 

“Give me your keycard.” Sunyoung demands and you don’t argue. She takes the card for this room and gives you, what you presume, the card for Jimin’s room. Wordlessly, she walks over and zips your suitcase up, placing it on the floor and sliding it over to you. 

“Maybe we’ll talk tomorrow,” you try on your way to the door.

She just shrugs and climbs into her bed, eyes blankly looking at the tv as she turns it on. Clearly, the conversation is very much over right now. You give the room a once over and leave, defeated and tired. 

The keycard she traded you, is, in fact, the key to Jimin’s room. When you walk in he’s already in bed, under the covers, and nothing but a lump. 

“Jimin?” You call quietly but get no response. Unsure if he’s truly sleeping or pretending, you say his name again and get nothing.

Rolling your eyes, you leave your suitcase to the side and decide to just go to bed. You’ll deal with Jimin in the morning, but for now, it’s much too late to still be awake.

Knocks on your room door startle you awake. Jimin isn’t next to you, and the bathroom across the room is dark. Bleary-eyed, you get up and open the door, your mom on the other side. She gives you what seems to be a sympathetic once over and tells you to get ready and that everyone is already up and getting ready.

Jimin waking up and leaving you behind stings, but you bury that as you carry on with a lightning-speed shower and get changed. 

Downstairs, your parents and Mr. and Mrs. Park greet you, but no one else. Neither Momo nor Sunyoung pay you any mind and Jimin doesn’t return your greeting. The two women you expected, but why the hell is Jimin icing you out?

He doesn’t say anything on the ride there, but it’s expected with everyone around. All of you pile onto a bus with other tourists, waiting to be driven around the city and shown the sights.

When you arrive at the first destination and you try to speak to Jimin, he conveniently turns to engage with his mom who quickly strikes up a conversation with him, successfully squashing your attempt.

It’s even clearer he’s purposely avoiding you by your third stop after he successfully manages to avoid any chance you will try to confront him. With both him and your best friend ignoring your existence, you feel like utter shit. You do your best not to let it show as the day wears on, mustering up enough willpower to pretend to be interested in the structures and sights, taking pictures you barely put care into snapping. A few other tourists in the group talk to you and even though you want nothing more than to stew alone, you engage.

The day drags on hour by hour until it’s the end of the day and your tour guide takes everyone to a restaurant near the resort for dinner. Your group of eight settles next to the other tables of the tour group and starts placing orders with waiters. Sunyoung knocks back drink after drink and at some point in the night the alcohol finally catches up with her.

“Mrs. Y/l/n, can you pass me the chips?” She points to the basket that’s sitting between you and your mom. “I’d ask Y/n, but she’ll probably lie about why she can’t give them to me.” Silence in the group until her comment catches up to you.

“Oh come on, Sunyoung.”

“Come on what? You lie. It’s what you do. Or wait you’ll lie about not giving them to me and say it’s because you thought I would think they are gross without even letting me try!” 

“Sunyoung, I said I was sorry! Sorry for lying and assuming how you’d feel. This time and apparently every other time I’ve done it.”

Sunyoung leaps up, pointing at you. “You didn’t apparently do shit, I’m telling you you’ve done it!”

“Sunyoung…” Her mom warns, but she stays standing, hands on her hips. 

“I shouldn’t have said that,” you start, trying to keep your voice down. “I’m sorry for lying and sleeping with your brother and not telling you!” 

“You should be! Jimin has always gone out of his way to talk about you and I should’ve known something was weird but I was too stupid to pick it up I guess. Why else would he always bring up my friend more than me.” You and Jimin share a brief look before he averts his eyes. You never imagined he’d talk about you when you weren’t around. You swallow the urge to ask what he’s said.

“And I can’t believe you’ve been sleeping with my best friend!” Sunyoung yells, pointing at him. “You’re my brother and you didn’t tell me!”

“How was I supposed to tell you?! You would’ve thought it was weird!”

“Everyone stop fucking telling me how I’d feel!” Sunyoung shrieks and everyone in the restaurant turns to look at your table, getting quiet. 

“Park Sunyoung, that is enough!” Her dad bellows. Fists still clenched, she plops into her seat with no retort. 

“Truly,” you begin. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to lie, and I know apologies don’t change what I did, but just know I can’t say sorry enough.” You turn to your parents and the Parks. “And I’m sorry to you guys for ruining our vacation. I did want to see everyone and have a good time, but then I messed it up by being selfish, I didn’t plan on fucking up everything the way I did. And Momo, I’m sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend. I didn’t -” 

You don’t get to finish your apology, because before anyone can stop her, Momo rises from her seat, grabs her drink, and throws it at you on the other side of the table. 

Everyone freezes, including any other guests that saw.

“Momo!” Jimin gasps, but for him, she snatches up the large bowl of salsa in the middle of the table and dumps it over his head. She’s storming out of the restaurant before anyone can stop her.

Sunyoung, watching both you and Jimin in horror, decides to stumble out of her seat and follow her out. The rest of you don’t say anything else, but your mom helps blot at your clothes while Jimin’s mom helps him wipe his hair.

Shame washes over you as the other tourists and restaurant patrons whisper about your group and what happened. You deserve this. Sure, you wanted nothing more than to run outside and kick Momo’s ass, and normally you would, but in this situation, you can't deny that you deserve it. So you stew in the nauseous, anxious feeling in your stomach and the way tears are oh so close to slipping. It feels very much like public shaming and you wouldn’t say you didn’t have it coming.

The ride back to the resort after dinner is nothing compared to the one this morning. The bus is stifling, the air thick with aggression and weariness. Momo is the first out when you arrive, stomping into the building and far from everyone. Wordlessly, Sunyoung follows her, then Jimin. You’re left to ride in the elevator with the parents alone, clothes uncomfortable and sticky. Just as you think you may burst into tears at the sheer embarrassment, Mr. Park speaks up.

“Y/n, we want to let you know we’re not as upset about this as Sunyoung.” You’re shocked truth be told, but let him go on. “Last night’s erm, incident, was shocking, but you and Jimin are both adults. Cheating is wrong in any aspect, and don’t get wrong, we’re extremely disappointed in you both for it.”

“And for lying to everyone,” Mrs. Park chimes in.

“Right, and lying to everyone. But we appreciate your apology. It seemed genuine, so just know we’re not upset with you.”

“Besides, if there’s any girl we’d want Jimin to be with it’s you. We don’t trust anyone else.”

They both give you reassuring smiles, and you let a few tears slip. You appreciate their forgiveness, but you feel as though you don’t deserve it. You voice this, but they assure you they’re not mad. Shocked and annoyed initially, yes, but they again voice that you’re all adults and can work through what you need to.

Your mom reaches out to hug you, wiping your tears. You say goodnight to both sets of parents, your dad saying he loves you then reminding everyone that all of your flights are at eleven. You all plan to ride to the airport together and say your goodbyes there. It doesn’t seem likely that the goodbyes will be what he has in mind, but it feels refreshing to know that at least you have people still supporting you in the mess you and Jimin made.

When you enter the room, Jimin is sitting on the edge of the sofa in the room, head in his hands. He looks up when you shut the door, the expression on his face unreadable. You plop on the couch next to him, and he doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t run away from you.

“Are you gonna tell me why you’ve been ignoring me all day?”

“Everyone hates us.” Is his response.

“Our parents don’t hate us.”

“Yeah, I know, I talked to them this morning when I got up. But they were disappointed. And Sunyoung is so fucking pissed. And I know Momo definitely hates me. She broke up with me last night.”

“Well yeah, you’re probably right about her.” You put a joking lift to your tone, hoping it’ll ease some of the tension, but it doesn’t. Instead, Jimin whips around to look at you; his expression is grim.

“I should’ve said no. I should’ve stayed in the room.” The way he says this makes your throat feel tight for some reason.

“Well shit, sorry I asked.” Your words are sarcastic, but your chest feels heavy.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have. Maybe we should’ve just had a regular vacation with our families and not did… what we did. I have a girlfriend, Y/n.” His last words are accusatory and you gape at him.

“Yeah, I know you have a girlfriend. You know you have a girlfriend and yet you still fucked me this entire week. Hell, you knew you had a girlfriend for the last six months and still hit me up begging for tit pics any chance you got.”

A blush breaks out across Jimin’s face in embarrassment and shame. “Because I can’t fucking stay away from you! I can’t stop seeing you and hearing your voice and touching you, and talking to you. I can’t say no to you, Y/n! I’ve never been able to!”

You stand, looking at him incredulously. “There’s no way you’re trying to blame me for this whole thing. There's absolutely no fucking way.”

“You know how I feel! You know how I feel, yet you never want to commit. Whenever I bring it up, you change the subject or end the conversation. That makes me feel like shit, Y/n!”

“Jimin, we had a good, casual thing going. I thought it worked for both of us.”

“It works for you, Y/n. I deal with it because I want to have you any way I can, and since you won’t let it be romantic, I’ll take it physically.”

You blink at him, mind moving a mile a minute. “Jimin, do you think now is the time to get into this? Shouldn’t we be worried about your sister forgiving us and talking to us again?”

With a huff, Jimin jumps up. “When Sunyoung wants to, she will. You know how stubborn she is and that there’s nothing we can do until she feels like giving us the time of day.” He steps closer to you, looking as if he’s contemplating reaching out to touch you. “Y/n, can you just tell me how you feel about me? Clearly, you’re into me in some way, but how do you actually feel?”

“I -” Words catch in your throat as you struggle to formulate a response.

You know you’re impossibly attracted to Jimin. That’s a given. He’s sweet and loves making you laugh. Before everything on this vacation went to shit, he always went out of his way to make everyone, but especially you, laugh at something he says or does. Jimin is kind and so gentle; possibly one of the most considerate people you’ve ever met. In that same breath, you can also call him bratty and a little spoiled, but even then it’s endearing and it still makes him who he is.

Jimin is artistic and passionate. He loves dancing and has always been gifted at it. He’s done dance covers online for years and is always entering competitions and predictably winning said competitions. He didn’t get into the school he applied to in New York, but he goes to school near home because he’s so determined to fulfill his dreams. You admire him for staying so dedicated and working to do what he loves.

The list of things you like about Jimin goes on but you can’t seem to say the words to him. Everything is just wrong right now and the idea of vocalizing and admitting to him (and yourself) that maybe you feel more about Jimin than you should.

“I don’t think we should do this right now, Jimin.” 

He stares at you hard, his eyes scanning yours, searching for anything else. “Forget it, Y/n. It’s clear we’ve just been wasting each other’s time.” He finally says. Dumbly, you stand there as Jimin grabs a pillow from the bed and storms out without another word. You scream in your head, scolding and shaming yourself for not saying something, but you can’t get anything to come out that will make a difference.

Without another word he’s gone, slamming the hotel door behind him. Silently, you shower and get ready for bed, making sure all of your belongings are packed. The room is hauntingly quiet and the bed is cold as you lie there alone, your brain full of so many different things you want to say and think and do, yet somehow, you doze off before you muster the motivation or courage to do anything else.

You’re up and out of bed before the sun has barely risen. While you were able to doze, that’s all you did. No deep restful sleep and barely any dreams. Just bathroom breaks and staring at the ceiling. Jimin never came back to the room, as the bed is still empty when you get up.

After brushing your teeth and washing your face you’re out the door. Standing in front of your parent’s room you go back and forth. You don’t want to wake them up but you’d feel even worse than you do if you left without saying goodbye.

Taking a breath, you knock, deciding having them be a little tired later is better than fleeing in complete and total cowardice. 

Your mom is the one who answers, yawning widely in her pajamas and slippers.

“Y/n?”

“Hey, mom, I’m sorry to wake you guys up.”

“What’s going on?” Bleary-eyed, she eyes your bags, frowning more.

“I’m gonna head out for the airport. I don’t need to stick around.”

“What? Y/n it’s…” she cranes her neck around to the closed room curtains seeing barely any semblance of the sun peeking around. “It’s so early.”

“I know, but I just want to go home. I’m exhausted.”

“You didn’t sleep well?”

“Mom…I just wanted to say bye.” She must hear the utter defeat in your words and pick up why you want to disappear because it only takes her a few seconds to relent. She calls into the dark room to wake your dad, who eventually drags himself out of bed to join at the door.

He puts up much less of, a fight, cutting you slack and simply bidding you goodbye. You exchange hugs and ‘I love yous’ and they easily let you walk away with a promise to text them when you arrive at the airport and when you make it home safely. 

You wince at the lump in your throat, willing yourself not to cry. You’ve held the bulk of it in for the entire trip and refuse to give up yet. 

The universe cuts you some slack when you get to the lobby to hand in your key. None of the staff members that caught you and Jimin are there, thankfully. Only a different team who all thank you for coming and wish you safe travels.

As you get into the shuttle van and settle, you take one last look at the resort. Realizing just how hyperfocused on Jimin you’ve been since day one, you had no time to appreciate the large, bustling building. The white marble and aqua blue curtains in all of the windows pair well together, looking both expensive and upscale. You wish you could’ve taken in more of the look of your room and the inside, but your mind only plays memories of everything that has taken place over the past week on a loop.

The ride to the airport and getting through it to your gate seems to go rather quickly; a stark difference from how it all seemed to drag when you had arrived at the beginning of the week. Once you’re settled in and waiting to board the sun is higher in the sky. A glance at your watch tells you it’s after 6 am and you imagine that your parents are still just getting up if they were able to get back to sleep.

Before boarding, you send them a text, along with a long heartfelt text to the Park parents, apologizing again. Both of their kids hate you at this point and it’s your fault so you want them to know how sorry you are again and how much you still care about them as if they are your own parents. They reiterate what they did in the elevator, leaving you with the reassurance you desperately need.

Your phone was devoid of a single call or text from Jimin or Sunyoung for the rest of the day. Silence from them turned into two days, then four, five, then three weeks, rolling into a month. The desire to reach out to them is strong, but if there’s one thing the Park siblings are, is stubborn.  Having gotten into your fair share of disagreements with your best friend, you know that she’s the type of person that comes to you when she’s ready. Unsurprisingly, Jimin was the same way. You’ve heard plenty of complaints about fights with his friend over the years so you know he definitely picked up his temper from his older sister.

Even so, a month of silence felt like a year. You and Sunyoung would, at times, go weeks without talking because life gets in the way, but on top of this being your most serious fight, it was also the longest you’ve gone without speaking in some form. Added on the reason why you’re not talking and this silent treatment truly hurts. 

But still, you do your best to accept that they both need time. And frankly, you do as well. Time to decide completely, what it is you want from Park Jimin.

Truly, you try your best to wait them out, but you don’t make it another two weeks before you break down and whip open your phone contacts.

You’re home after a long day of work and even as you try to relax on your couch, all you think about is Sunyoung and Jimin. A month and a half is the longest you’ve gone without talking to either of them. With Sunyoung though, it hurt more. The fear that you may lose your closest and most important friend, keeps eating away at you and you can’t take it anymore. 

Along with the near-crippling guilt of hurting your best friend, is the pain of hurting Jimin. Taking the time since you’ve been home to yourself has given you time to sort your shit out. Sticking to nothing but work and errands, you kept to yourself this whole time to avoid the opinions and thoughts of others.

The solitude has helped you conclude what you’ve probably always known: you like Jimin. You like Park Jimin as more than a steady, casual hook-up. You want to date Jimin and call him your boyfriend and learn everything there is to know about him that you don’t already know. 

You have to tell both he and Sunyoung that you want to fix things, and it can’t wait anymore. 

Opening your texts with Sunyoung, your fingers hover over the text box. A wall of text seems impersonal. Briefly considering voice memos, you decided against that too, knowing you have too much to say to keep it brief. A social media DM is just silly and out of the question, and you’re terrified of hitting the call button and getting a swift rejection.

With a deep breath, you open your camera app, flip it to selfie mode, and decide this is the right way. A video is the easiest way for them to hear you and see you while also giving them a chance to pause your words when they need to and time to formulate their responses.

Hitting the record button, you work to get your thoughts in order.

“Hey, Sun. I miss you. I know it’s hollow, but I do. I fucked up. I said I was sorry already, but please know that I will say it as much as you want me to. I’ll do anything to make you not hate me anymore. You’re the closest to a sister I’ve ever had and I don’t want to lose you. I promise I’ll do whatever you want me to do to prove how sorry I am. And I won’t keep anything from you anymore and claim to know what you’ll think or say about decisions I make that impact you. Please know I love you and won’t keep secrets anymore. That’s why I want to tell you first that I…” you falter, willing yourself to say it. 

“I like your brother. I like like your brother and I’m going to tell him. I wanted you to know first. You’re my platonic soulmate and I don’t wanna keep doing this shitty thing called life without you. You can take all the time you need, I’ll wait until you’re ready to deal with me again, but I do hope it’s soon.” You give the camera a weak smile before ending the video.

With a sniffle, you go back to your messages with Sunyoung, counting to three before you attach the video and send it. Once you see the small ‘delivered’ message under the video you flee from the screen. Sunyoung’s read receipts are on and you don’t think you can handle seeing her in real-time see the message.

More internal prep is done before you hit the record button again to start Jimin’s video. “Jimin, hey. Uh, I don’t know how to start this really, so I’m just gonna tell you that I’m sorry again. I’m sorry for stringing you along the way I have and I’m sorry for influencing you to cheat. I just couldn’t stand seeing you with someone else that isn’t…isn’t me.” You falter at the end but keep going. “I know that I keep derailing any talk of us being together for real and I’m sorry. I just really didn’t have a handle on how I felt about you. Or, at least I thought I didn’t. Maybe I was in denial because we started so secretive and I was truly so scared of what your sister would think so I kept pushing it away and in turn, trying to push all of my feelings for you away, but it didn’t work and I was just so shitty to you.”

Pausing to take a deep breath, you close your eyes, attempting to calm your beating heart. “So you asked me how I feel and the answer is that I like you. I like you a lot Jimin. I have so much fun when I’m with you and I mean that in so many ways. I’m so comfortable with you and I feel so safe and happy and I’m sorry I haven’t made you feel like that. You’re such an amazing and good person and you deserve the world and more. I don’t know if that’s me since I’ve fucked up so much already, but please know I’m ready and I’ll wait for however long you need me to. I know now that I want you as more than someone I sleep with. I want all parts of you, Jimin, and I just hope you can forgive me somehow.”

Once that video is sent, you close your messaging app and toss your phone aside to get ready for bed. It’ll surely take them time to watch the videos and decide when and how to respond. After leaving yourself open and vulnerable, you go about your evening, trying to chase away the itch to cling to your cell phone.

The self-control you’ve been trying to adhere to dissipates as after two days with no response, you’re scrambling to check your text messages. Jimin’s message was delivered, so you know he didn’t block you, but you can only hope he’s watched it. The grey ‘read’ under your video to Sunyoung taunts you. She’s at least opened the message but has said nothing about it so you’re still left wondering what’s next.

A glance at your watch tells you that you have another hour before you clock out. Believe it or not, spontaneity isn’t typically your thing, and yet you’re feeling a sense of urgency you’ve never felt. Both Jimin and Sunyoung decided not to respond and at this point, you’re in desperate need to know what they think and how they feel and the urge to see them in person is what fuels your next move.

A one-way ticket back home for a flight tomorrow is nearly $500 and that price makes you choke, but you seriously toy with the idea. Since it’s Friday you can fly out tomorrow morning and make it there by the afternoon. From what you remember, neither Jimin nor Sunyoung works on Saturday and even if they do, you can just wait for them at home. You just hope that you’re not turned away when you get there and that the trip won’t be for nothing.

After clocking out and shutting down your work laptop, you open up the app on which you were eyeing the tickets. You bite at a hangnail, the decision stressing you out with each passing moment. Even if they did turn you away and want nothing to do with you, you can at least see your parents again. Plus, if you bring your laptop, you can always work from home still. 

Pacing back and forth, you move to complete the booking, packing on your mind but the buzzer of your building sounds indicating a guest stops you from checking out. Pocketing your phone, you move to the callbox to answer, anticipating one of your friends on the other end, but it’s no one from the city.

“Er, hi Y/n. Can me and my sister come up?”

Jimin. Jimin’s voice is coming from the callbox downstairs. Outside of your building. 

“Jimin? You’re with Sunyoung?” You ask, hoping you haven’t fallen asleep and are dreaming.

“Yeah. We want to talk to you. Can you let us in?” Nodding, even though he can’t see you, you buzz them in and sprint to the front door to watch for them through the peephole. 

Sure enough, in a matter of minutes, Jimin’s gorgeous face comes into focus. Sunyoung is behind him, expression either tired or annoyed - you can’t quite tell.

The door is open before they can knock and then you’re all standing there, eyeing one another hesitantly. 

“Well, can we come in?” Sunyoung demands more than asks and you hurry to move aside and let them into your apartment. 

They’re both wheeling medium-sized suitcases behind them and Sunyoung leaves hers by the door as she walks around silently, taking in the studio around her while Jimin stands awkwardly in your living room.

The question as to why they’re in front of you right now nags at you, and it’s the first question you finally blurt out.

“We got your videos,” Jimin says first. “We talked to each other and then decided we needed to just fly out.”

“This whole thing is too dramatic and chaotic to do all over the phone so I didn’t wanna bother.”

Jimin rolls his eyes at his sister’s brashness. “Our parents helped us pay to get out here and we’re here for the week to fix things with you. We had time to think and talk to each other about the whole thing when she finally let me explain myself to her. I told her every way I could that we didn’t intend to hurt her.”

You nod furiously, agreeing with him. “Truly, we didn’t do it with ill intent and we didn’t not tell you because we thought it’d be fun to keep it a secret! It just kept going on and we’d sneak around more and then it just became the norm.”

“Yeah, Jimin told me all that. I was just mad because two of the most important people to me were hiding something from me and it felt so shitty. I love you both a lot, you know. Don’t keep any secrets from me ever again.”

“We won’t, I promise! I’m so sorry again, Sun. I probably sound like a broken record with how much I’m apologizing but I mean it.” You hold your breath, waiting to see her reaction. She moves first, crossing the room to catch you off guard in a hug. 

“I already accepted Jimin’s apology at home so I accept yours too. I also think I overreacted by being as pissed off as I was. I let my bad temper get the best of me and I’m sorry too.” She pulls away but keeps her arms around you, fixing you with a hard stare. “Also, shitty stubborn asshole or not, just know I’d never let this ruin two decades of friendship. If Jimin hadn’t broken me down and told me to get over myself I may have just ignored everyone for like another few weeks or so and then got over it. I realized I was starting to miss you too.” Her features soften at the end of her words, finally giving you a sunny smile and pulling you in for a hug again.

Relief fills you, knowing that your best friend still wants you in her life.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Sun.” 

“I don’t know what you’d do either,” she jokes, the two of you hug and share a laugh.

The sound of Jimin clearing his throat nearby breaks the moment. You’d momentarily forgotten he was standing by. Sunyoung’s eyes dart between the two of you. She moves away first, grabbing her large overnighter bag from the floor. 

“Anyway, I’m gonna shower and get the plane germs off me. The two of you can have your little make-up scene. Pretend I’m not even here.” You point her to the bathroom, and she ducks into it, but not before popping her head out once more. “But maybe don’t pretend that hard and start fucking or something. At least wait until I’m out of the building completely!” She slams the door shut behind her, and you hear the shower creak to life.

Hesitantly, you turn your attention to Jimin who’s looking out of your window to the city below.

“Nice view.” You speak first, sarcasm in your voice as you try to ease the tension.

“Huh?” Jimin blinks as if he’d been lost in thought.

“I said the view is nice, but I was just kidding, is all.” The view of the alleyway between you and the building next to you is less than stellar.

Jimin stares at you for a few seconds before looking out the window.

“Okay, Jimin, I-”

“You know I shouldn’t even be here.” He cuts you off and you let him, biting your lips together to let him kick this awkward conversation off.

“A lot of the time, I felt like you’ve just been using me for sex. You knew I’ve been into you since the first day I met you and you still refused to give me more than sexting and quickies. I should’ve stopped letting you have that part of me a while ago, but I couldn’t. I couldn't stop thinking about you or missing you, or wanting you. Anyway you’d have me and whatever I could get from you I'd take. It sounds toxic and I sound pathetic, but I can’t help it. I even selfishly dated a girl to pretend she could fill the void I only wanted you to be in.” Jimin looks at you again, and the conflicted, hurt look on his features is easy to read. The guilt twists in your gut, realizing just how much emotional turmoil you’ve put Jimin through.

“You’re right. I knew how you’ve felt about me all this time, but honestly, I don't think I took your feelings that seriously, especially not for most of the time knowing you. I guess I just always thought it was always just a childhood crush and nothing more and then when I realized you did feel much more than that for me, I didn’t even think about doing anything more than hooking up. I put my fear of judgment and my pleasure over your real, genuine feelings and I can’t say how sorry I am.”

“I want to be with you, but I need you to be sure you want this, that you want me for more than sex.”

“I do!”

“And I don’t wanna be a pity date or anything. I can’t be.” Jimin’s voice breaks at the same time as your heart. You want so badly to reach out to him, but you don’t. The ball is in Jimin’s court and he can call all of the next shots.

“You won’t be! I mean it Jimin, I want everything with you. I want the dates and the good morning texts and the cuddles that don’t lead to sex. I want to call you and talk about our days and the things that make us upset and I want to say you’re my boyfriend and create memories together. Memories we can cherish and look back on during all of our anniversaries. I want all of you, I truly do.”

Jimin is frozen in his spot, mind reeling at your words. It’s your first time finally admitting your feelings for him, so you can't fault how hesitant he seems. You’re both silent for the next few seconds only the shower running and the air conditioning unit in the window are heard. 

“Okay. I’ll let you in again. I’ll trust you.” He approaches you and the urge to meet him halfway takes over. Warmth envelopes every nerve in your body when your bodies meet.

“I’ll prove that you can trust me. Your heart is safe with me.” Jimin pulls you into a kiss, unlike any of the countless kisses you’ve shared. This one has your lips tingling, your heart racing, and your blood pumping in your ears. The kiss feels like forgiveness and comfort and an overwhelming sense of something close to love. 

You let Jimin’s arm trap you against his broad chest, his heart beating like crazy underneath your palms. This feels like your first real kiss and you vow to get so many more like this. You don’t deserve the endless kindness that Park Jimin has but you mean it; you’ll do everything in your power to prove to yourself and him that you’re serious about this relationship.

Jimin and Sunyoung decide to stay in the city for the rest of the week, the three of you making your studio work. Sunyoung makes a compromise, pushing her brother to buy her noise-canceling headphones so she can at least not have a chance of hearing anything the two of you do in your bed, which isn’t a lot, considering his sister is a few feet away. Still, it’s enough to make up for your lost time not communicating.

You take them around the city, the three of you doing your best to compensate for all the missed opportunities you didn’t get to spend on vacation as a trio. Spending just a week with two of your most important people makes you terribly homesick as you want more than anything to go back home to see them more, just like before you all got older and drifted away. 

Your heart both leaps and aches each time you swap a story with them or share a bout of laughter, the thought of not seeing either of them for who knows how long after this week is up weighing on you. More than anything, you realize that once Sunyoung and Jimin are back home, you’ll be left here on the other coast, all alone again with a mediocre job in a mediocre apartment without a real, trustworthy support system.

These thoughts swirl in your mind still on the last night of the week that they’re with you. They’re so prevalent, that you can’t hold it in anymore and blurt out what’s been on the tip of your tongue, in the middle of your anime marathon.

“I want to move back home.” Both siblings whip around to look at you. Sunyoung snatches the remote to pause the tv.

“What?”

“Well, spending time with both of you has reinforced just how lonely I am in the city. I moved out here for school and that fell through, then I scrambled to find roommates who were nice, but I hated living with them. Then I scraped together enough money to move in here, and, I’m just not happy. I don’t have anyone I’m super close with and if I’m not at home or in the office working then I’m getting food alone and shopping alone, with the occasional club or concert with some people I call acquaintances and that’s it. I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want everyone to know what a mistake I made but I did and I’ve regretted it for a while.”

Your voice cracks as you go on, but the weight of your confession quickly lifts from your shoulders. Keeping this truth has been such a burden, but it finally feels like now is the time to admit it and you’re so happy you did.

Both Jimin and Sunyoung listen to you and share a look over your shoulder.

“When’s your lease up here?” Jimin asks first.

“Uh, I don’t remember, maybe 6 months or something?”

“Well, that’s 6 months to figure out how we’re getting all your stuff to California.”

“And,” Sunyoung adds. “That’s 6 months to figure out where we’ll live!” You give her a questioning look and she laughs. “Of course, we’re moving in together, Y/n!” She leaves no room for arguments, not that you mind.

“I’m sure we can find a nice two-bedroom apartment somewhere.”

“No fair! What about me?!” Jimin whines, making you roll your eyes endearingly.

“You still live on campus and have another year doing so. Plus, I’d prefer to date more before we move in. But it’s not like you won't have a key.”

Your boyfriend pouts still but sighs in agreement. 

The three of you end up talking more about possible parts of California to live in before heading to bed, reveling in the feeling of Jimin’s arms around you for the last time for a few months.

“Okay, so I’ll canvas some spots and let you know. If I find anything good, we can video chat as I do a tour, or I’ll record places for you, cool?”

“And once you decide on a moving company, I’ll help pay to get them to bring your stuff. I don’t want you traveling across the country alone, okay?”

“Yes, yes, I’ll handle any logistics over here and will keep you both posted. And again, do not tell my parents yet! I’ll tell them closer to the move-out.”

Sunyoung reaches for you first, hugging the life out of you. “I’m so excited to have you home!” 

“Me too!” Once she eventually decides to give her brother a chance to say goodbye, she excuses herself, making up a reason to go check a flight board off to the side.

“I’m gonna miss you, you know. Even more than before, which I didn’t even know was possible.” Jimin’s words make you feel giddy. After doing nothing but hooking up for so long, this week has been so different. Sure, you still couldn’t keep your hands off one another, but it was more than that now. Your time together was soft and easygoing. You both had been so used to fast and hushed, but you easily fell into a sense of comfort and relaxation with Jimin as your boyfriend. Things made sense when you were with him and it felt like the very thing you’d been missing for so long. You can’t wait to spend as much time as possible with him.

“You better text me when you land. I need to know you made it there safe.”

“I can do that. And you better do the same. I need your Uber driver’s info and all of that.”

“Of course.”

The two of you stand hand in hand, taking in each other’s features for as long as you can.

“We gotta get through security now, Min.” Sunyoung interrupts and jerks her head in the direction they need to go.

Jimin gives his sister a nod before turning back to you. He lets go of your hands, moving to gently cup your face, and leans down to meet your lips. Electricity shoots through you at the sensation of Jimin’s soft lips. You inhale his cozy, fresh scent, wishing you could bottle it to keep forever (but since you can’t, the t-shirt he left on your bed will suffice).

“Can’t wait until you get home. I’ll miss you.” He whispers against your mouth.

“Miss you too.”

With another quick peck, he’s gone then, running after his sister who yells her goodbyes over her shoulder.

You watch until Jimin’s red hair disappears into the crowd and once you’re sure they’re both gone, you turn towards the escalator to leave the airport. As you’re waiting for your Uber, your phone buzzes as Jimin’s name pops up on the screen.

You scoff at the text. 

Jimin’s three simple hearts make your stomach flutter. You too can barely wait for the next six months to go by, but you’ll be counting the days until you can see your best friend again. And her brother, of course.

#jimin x reader #jimin smut #park jimin #jimin fanfic #jimin angst #bts fanfic #bts x reader #clubjimin #btsghostie #bangtanarmynet #bangtansorciere #bangtanbathhouse #btsdreamcourt #btshoneyhive #52hertz #clubzerooclock #btscarnivalnet #thebtswritersclub #btswritingcafe

[arowrath]

speaking of psychosis- i wasn't speaking of it here but i was speaking of it- i've been trying to figure out what was up with the great psychotic episode of freshman year, because i had assumed it was a trauma-induced psychosis type of deal, but it occurred to me that i was definitely having sort of thought broadcasting types of beliefs, probably some other stuff but i can't remember atm and don't feel like digging thru my old vent account lol. (ramble continues under the cut this got VERY long)

(line with text so tumblr doesn't eat the image. idk if it still does that but better safe than sorry)

(the months with "2" are split into first and second half of the month bc it was relevant, couldnt figure out how else to signify that succinctly)

i cut out the labels of each belief for safety + in case that's triggering to ppl but each row is a different belief i had that in retrospect was probably some sort of delusion? top two are very similar but different enough i tracked them differently. bottom two might have just been anxiety+ptsd but i do really think they're connected to this

it was definitely at its worst mid nov-end of jan, but started in september and didn't really let up til like june

anyway like i said i had assumed it was a combination of trauma and being off my meds and isolation that made the perfect situation for me to go fucking crazy, but i hadn't really thought about it that hard . but now that i Am thinking about it, again, i was definitely having these kinds of beliefs before The Trauma

and in my past self's defense. one thing about my thought broadcasting beliefs specifically was that i was straight up being essentially cyberstalked at the time and didn't know, so i was completely right that certain people knew more about me than i had told them, but i was wrong about the reason why

anyway i was reading up on schizospec disorders for class (kind of. also just for fun) -- also important context schizophrenia does run in my family i think on both sides? but my parents are weird about talking about it. so that's part of this also.

but i noticed that of the three labels i was looking at- brief psychotic disorder, schizophreniform, and schizophrenia- (i didn't look into schizoaffective bc i dont think i have many bipolar symptoms, and didn't look into stpd bc i don't think it counts as a personality disorder if it lasts like 10 months lol, and delusional disorder because i do think i had some negative*&cognitive symptoms (*psych term meaning absence of things present in nonschizospec people, not literally just bad symptoms lol)-- though to be fair, that may have just been a combination of situational aspects & autism?)-- either way, it's not on this beautiful and awesome diagram in mspaint i made so i could illustrate the timeline aspect of the diagnostic criteria:

bc a diagnosis of brief psychotic disorder requires symptoms to only last a month, and schizophreniform for 1-6 months, whereas schizophrenia is lifelong .

basically the problem is- while the worst part of my psychotic(?) symptoms lasted ~4months, they were definitely there in some form for around 10 months, which is too long for a diagnosis of schizophreniform, but i don't feel comfortable just, assuming it's schizophrenia lol, especially when most of the symptoms i experienced dont affect my life anymore? it does make me nervous though that this happened right around the typical age of onset.

this might just be a problem with diagnoses being too specific to cover the entire spectrum of human experience, and i might just be outside of any area where a specific label could be applied . also, i know it's been written about but not become an actual diagnostic label- but there are places where ocd and psychosis can over lap, and schizo-obsessive disorder has been suggested as a diagnostic label, but not officially used anywhere afaik..

i think my main concern at this point is just, whether or not i should be concerned about it coming back. like, is it possible to be in various stages of active psychosis(?? it still feels very strange to refer to it that way but i guess that's what it was, so) for ~4-10 months, and then just be chilling after. or should i be worried. was this a one-time thing starting because i was off my meds and being worsened by isolation and trauma or is there a possibility of this happening again. and i think that's a question that can't be answered with any certainty, probably

#text #health tag

[mareenavee]

For the Asks to Spread Love, pick and answer 3 that you haven't been asked already! 🧡

Hello again, bri!! Thanks for sending more of these for me! I've really enjoyed catching up on them and thinking through these today!

Fandom Positivity asks from this game here.

10. A popular character you actually really like and why.

I do like me some rare characters most of all lol. My perspective is a bit biased because I love the ones I love and I don't mind if they aren't "popular" per se. (:

LOL -- The obvious answer is Teldryn, right? But I'm gonna talk about

💫Neloth 💫

instead.

I think he's popular to dunk on because he's been a very big pain in the ass in the games for centuries to everyone who will listen to him. I mean, since the events of Morrowind at minimum. (:

Why do I like him? Because of how he's been written by myself and a few friends -- namely @thana-topsy, @paraparadigm (TOOTHPICK!), and @thequeenofthewinter.

I love to see how other people take this character and run with what we're given in text ESPECIALLY considering how ridiculous he is to deal with and his general attitude toward other living things.

For myself, where I write him as a long term friend of Nerevarine!Teldryn Sero, I love to use his character as an opportunity to talk about the struggle of redemption. How does one redeem themselves from a lifetime of difficult choices made to fit into a specific perception? Does this perception eventually end up becoming a core facet of who you are as a person? If that is the case, can you change? Are the consequences of your choices enough to make you irredeemable? Further, can you forgive yourself if change does not come easily or if you return to old behaviors much too easily?

He's a complicated one, I think, especially by the events of Skyrim. He's not exactly estranged from the rest of House Telvanni, but the connection is tenuous and fraught as the House is still, apparently, recovering from the Red Year. In Morrowind it was very much the opposite. There's gotta be a kind of grief to this shift under the uncaring, hyperfocused exterior.

He's annoying, yes, but very interesting to me, and so he's in my fic. And he's actually a huge part of the latter half of the book.

11. Recommend a fic with an unusual/original headcanon or characterisation that you loved.

OH I'm SHOUTING OUT @changelingsandothernonsense's Danger!JOSH (aka Nerevarine Teldryn Sero)'s Nerevar-as-a-parasite situation in Serious Mistakes.

This angry spirit, more or less, lives in the ring and speaks into Teldryn's BRAIN and sometimes drives the entire car, so to speak and I've never ever read anything like it, holy shit. I'm a beta reader for this particular project and I literally cannot yell about it enough.

It's a novelization of the Teldryn Serious mod which was already intriguing, but AH. MY GOODNESS the Nerevar situation.

Let me show you. From chapter 4:

Aren’t you meant to be looking for something? “Oh, you’re still here?” Teldryn rasped, as if saying it out aloud mattered here. You should be thanking me. Teldryn grunted in annoyance, he had a point, he hated it when he was right. His mouth was dry. He wanted to stay where he was. Sleep. You can’t stay here! Get up! Teldryn groaned. Right again – the tide was coming in, if he didn’t find what he was looking for now, then it would be gone by morning. He needed his keys. Was there an Argonian on the beach? He couldn’t remember. His head hurt. He pinched the bridge of his nose, it did little to relieve the pressure. He always overdid it on the magicka, and now he was nauseous.

It's fucking cool, isn't it? (:

19. Give kudos to someone who leaves great comments.

OH GLADLY. Here's where I shout out @polypolymorph!!!

Okay so I could pick out a bunch of comments -- or novel-length responses. Each comment turns into an opportunity for a conversation and I'm always beside myself to hear back from her.

But right now, I'm still grinning ear to ear over, you guessed it. Eyestalks. Eye. Stalks.

(on this project here.)

#AskMareena #Positivity Asks #Neloth #Teldryn Sero #Nerevarine Teldryn Sero #Nerevar #indoril nerevar #Serious Mistakes #serious mistakes of solstheim #skyrim #morrowind #skyrim fic #Teldryn Serious #tes #tesblr #fanficblr

[praline-elegy]

✿ This looks like fun! ✿

[Fandom game post here]

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

Seiji Katayama x Nicholas Cox (Fence)

Draco Malfoy x Harry Potter (HP)

If you want to read my Fence related answers, jump to letters: M N O R S T V or Z

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

Nastu Dragoneel x Gray Fullblaster (Fairytail) - I’m mainly a gruvia shipper BUT I came across this brilliantly written gratsu fic a few years back and it rewrote my brain chemistry entirely.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

I don’t like saying mean things.

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

Shinsou Hitoshi x Kaminari Denki (MHA) - Monoshin has my heart <3

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

I wrote about an established relationship where character A wanted to give character B a gift. A asks B’s bff what to give him. Bff tells A to give B a rock. A proceeds to spend the day meticulously picking out a rock to give to B. A later presents this perfectly picked out rock to B, and B loves this little gift. This story oddly resonated with a lot of people in my old fandom lol. Moral of the story? People love rocks. Give your friends rocks. They will love you.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

About a decade? I started watching Pokémon for as long as I can remember (still love it!), but I fell out of the fandom when my parents stopped paying for cable.

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

Zutara. Zuko and Katara were everything to me. Fire and water? Their antagonistic relationship? There was so much tension there. It just made sense to me.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

The first half of my life was dedicated to TV shows (when I had cable). The rest of my life is dedicated to printed material (books, manga, comics, etc).

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

No. I only joined this platform about two months ago. I haven’t come across any negativity on this side of tumblr.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

Little Goody Two Shoes (indie game)

Temeraire (book? I think?)

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Juvia Lockster or Flare Corona (both Fairytail)

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

Can’t think of a character I actively loathe or dislike at the top of my head.

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Sungchul Park (Fence) - He seems cocky and I like that.

Luna Lovegood (HP) - She’s just got the VibesTM you know?

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

Nicholas coming over to visit the Katayamas for winter (or summer!) break.

I want to get severe secondhand embarrassment from something that Nicholas does in front of Seiji. I want to fluster that boy so bad. I want him to feel so embarrassed he could melt into a puddle of liquified Cox. And after all of the chaos I want Seiji to find that Nicholas actually looks rather cute when he’s blushing and flustered :) I’m evil.

‼️ MORE ‼️ BLUSHING ‼️ NICHOLAS‼️

I also want to explore more of Nicholas’ (fandom assumed) fear of the dark.

Would love to see more of Nicholas being vulnerable around Seiji.

I want to see more of the Leventis/Levantis twins (I’m writing something myself, but still. Would love to see others interpretation of the boys)!

Nsfw-wise… I’d like to see more bottom or submissive Nicholas. I think fandom has mostly pegged him for a dominant top lol.

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

Kiss Me - Sixpence None the Richer is how I envision Robert Coste and Nicholas’ mother’s relationship to be like in one of my unfinished pieces. An au where Nicholas doesn’t know who his father is and has a loving relationship with his mom.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Needing to make dinner but the jar of sauce won’t open so character A visits their neighbor character B and asks for help in opening the jar.

Character A is staring at character B while walking down the sidewalk and accidentally walks into a light pole. A scurries away in embarrassment while B finds that kinda cute.

Accidentally blurting out a romantic confession whilst in the middle of an argument.

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that I’ve abandoned any fandoms, just outgrew them (show finished), left due to circumstances (no more cable or show on hiatus), or lack of inspiration to continue writing. It feels wrong to say “abandoned” because I still love these fandoms and would still go back to consume their content. I’m just not actively involved anymore.

Kuroko no Basuke. Miraculous Ladybug. Fairytail.

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

The Leventis/Levantis twins (in my own personal interpretation of them). I have a sibling so I’ve mostly based their interactions on my own. The kind of relationship where you annoy each other but love each other fiercely.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

I think that Seiji would own a dog.

Also!! Headcanon that Seiji runs warm and Nicholas has wonky blood circulation which leads to wearing tank tops and shorts in the winter but hoodies and sweatpants in the summer.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

Seiji is a dog person.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Reese from Scarlet Hollow - I yearn for starving artists. And he likes horror movies? Score! He’s also a little shy but also very cute. 10/10 would romance again.

Sebastian from Stardew Valley - Quiet loner that enjoys tabletop games similar to D&D? And he rides a motorcycle? Brb swooning at his feet.

I can’t pick a favorite from Fence ;v; I love Nicholas but I also love Scott and Thomas and Sungchul and Nate aaaaaaaaa

V - Which character do you relate to most?

In Fence? Nate Spencer. I was originally going to say Nicholas but after further evaluation I realize that I am in fact Nate. The kind of person that brightens up the room but also tends to gravitate to one person in particular despite getting constantly ignored (Aiden sksks).

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

No happy ending. Hurt no comfort. Break-up fics.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Enemies to lovers. Rivals to lovers. Sickfics. Inexperience (first kiss, first times). Not actually unrequited love. Secondhand embarrassment. Sex pollen/lust potion. Truth serum. Party games (i.e. truth or dare).

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Call of Duty.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

I’m surprised by the lack of rarepairs in Fence. There’s so much potential with the amount of characters that have been introduced so far, but I guess I can see why. Nichoji are just so throughly entwined with each other it’s almost impossible to envision them with anybody else. Other than that, I would gander that there’s more interest in the main ships than exploring newer characters and even newer relationships. (I aim to change that though, a new rarepair is on the horizon!! Hopefully by Valentine’s day 👀💘)

I’m also rather surprised by how active this fandom is despite the small size of it. It’s nice and cozy here though and I like that.

This fandom is actually making me want to try drawing again. Just speaking out to the void here lol. I was pretty decent at drawing chibis when I was younger. Blushing Nicholas here I come… ✍️♥️✨

#fence comic #praline prattles #comments are appreciated!!

[intuitive-revelations]

Ok so... that episode. Mixed thoughts. First half I felt was really strong. The second half...well.

As usual I'm going to kind of vomit my thoughts out as bullet points. It'll be quite rough though, as I'm way too tired to break these down more carefully right now, and just want to say my piece before I go to bed:

LOL at UNIT being so out in the open now. Couldn't help but think of all the big bold 'secret' signs from the classic series when I saw that.

The Vlinx is a really odd addition... did anyone else think about Splinx (from the Mines of Terror game) when they heard the name?

MEL! I did find it curious that some of the reporting on her appearance was ambiguous about when it would be, so I guess that explains that. Kind of an odd choice for a UNIT / Toymaker story, but establishing her as a character at UNIT works fine.

Now that I think about it, wasn't POTD specifically written with awareness of who / what RTD would be using in the specials? If so, I guess that explains why Mel didn't play a part in the plot.

Speaking of which, they're definitely going for this UNIT spin-off aren't they? I mean... makes sense. It seems they're building off what we saw in POTD anyway.

Trinity Wells coming back was a fun surprise, given how long it's been since we've seen her.

The political commentary of 'being right' is kind of perfect. Between this and the trans representation in The Star Beast, it kind of feels like RTD is laying out this thesis for the next few years.

I kind of like how they did the Toymaker in this one? Though he's perhaps a little too flamboyant and 'Master'-y for me, I do think the stuff with his accents etc was quite clever. I also think there was clearly some thought about the more dated racial stuff with the character, which that line about the weather kinda felt like it was hinting at?

I liked all the little ways they hinted at the Toymaker's "crystal guardian" backstory, with him sitting outside of "Chaos and Order".

Speaking of which... did he imply he beat the the Black and White Guardians? Cause if so...

Not gonna lie, when the Doctor started talking about a mistake he made when he was young, a part of me really genuinely thought they were about to mention Divided Loyalties. The line about the 'face' the Toymaker wore didn't help.

I'm also glad we got the Celestial Toyroom stuff, as I wasn't sure how much we were going to get in this episode? I think the creepiness with modern effects was great. I kind of wish we got to spend more time there though, ala the original story.

Conversely, I also feel like we could have gotten a bit more out of the idea of the Toymaker escaping into the universe? We got a glimpse of that in 'realistic' terms with the outer world, and a more campy fun vibe inside UNIT, but I would equally love much more focus on the world going mad, both mentally, but also physically. I dunno, it feels like there's two ambitious stories you could have gone with, but the episode kind of half-and-halfed it.

The stuff with Amy, Clara, Bill and the Flux. I needed that. Seriously. As someone whose literally spent all last week thinking about how it's all been one line of tragedies for the Doctor, connected from one to the other, getting that acknowledged in text was great.

The twist with the Master getting trapped too was a bizarre addtion, and honestly unnecessary. It felt like that story (I can't remember which, sorry EU fans, an EDA I think) which offhandedly implies both the Master and Rani are dead. I feel it could have worked a bit better if it was another major character we haven't heard of in some time, like Rassilon or someone, instead of someone we saw just a few episodes ago.

I will say the games were disappointing. I get there's only so much you can do with recognisable simple games, but I definitely wish we got something a bit more complex than "biggest number wins" and "catch". This is a story that really needed a good resolution, ideally based on the Doctor outwitting the Toymaker, and we didn't really get that. I'm not upset about it, just felt weak.

That being said, the focus on rules with regards to 'best of three' was perfect. Exactly what I wanted more of tbh.

I'm surprised by the "One Who Waits", after being teased in marketing as referring to the Toymaker, actually being someone else. RTD's been doing a surprising amount of sequel hooking actually...

I'll get more into the mechanics in a second, but I do like the resolution being about the Doctor's own mental health? It feels like the right conclusion, not just based on the past couple episodes, but also based on Thirteen's character arc, as well as everything that happened before her. I'm sure fans will (rightfully) eat that up and talk about it a lot.

Ok, so let's seperate out the BIG thing, and my thoughts on it. Warning: I'm about to get uncharacteristically negative for me:

I had seen the leaks about the bigeneration, and am really disappointed at how accurate they were, though I had kind of accepted it based on the accuracy of The Star Beast's leaks.

Funny enough, I genuinely do quite like ideas of weird stuff to do with regenerations in terms of splitting etc. I genuinely have had some thought before about the idea of it from an assimilation kind of view, merging together, kind of a more horror-y take on the Master's plan in POTD.

But... did we have to do this with Tennant? I mean, don't get me wrong I love him and have genuinely loved what he brought to Fourteen, distinguishing him from Ten and giving him the feel of that extra history since then... but did he really need to be the Doctor to get a life after regeneration? After all, Ten is the one who 'didn't want to go'. Granted him such a thing really feels like it's going against not just the 'embrace change' message of DW in general, but even Ten's own arc specifically?

(This is a thought I had after writing everything else here, but it's also kind of messed up that he's the one to get this conclusion, when we literally just had a whole arc about 13 and Yaz not having enough time together because of 13's incoming regeneration...?)

I don't think I need to spell out the issues of having two 'current' Doctors, not just in-universe, but also out of universe, and the shadow that now hangs over Ncuti's series, whether or not we get more with 14. The TARDIS splitting was really bad too.

That being said, there is one saving grace, in that it's seemingly implied that the rest of 14's life still comes before 15, somehow, based on what the latter said about being better because 14 will take the time to rest, recover and reflect on everything that's happened?

This is the one thing that doesn't make me want to throw the resolution away, as it does seemingly provide some clarity. If RTD sticks by that line, it would suggest it's less that there's two whole new Doctors, and more that 14 has been given some grace of having a bit more time before he turns into 15. That there's still technically a linear progression of Doctors, it's just one gets to hang around a little while to give the new one a cleaner mental slate. How on earth that would work however, is a whole other question...

I mean... couldn't we have just done this by time travel instead? Rather than introduce this whole new, kinda show-breaking concept? You could still get your hypothetical Tennant and past companions miniseries (which seems like it'll be a thing) or whatever alongside 15's own debut. Just let it be non-linear, and let us meet and travel with 15 before we get a peaceful, recovered 14 regeneration?

Also... if we ARE going play fast and loose with the ideas of regeneration... why didn't Tennant's face coming back play into this? Like... what a weird choice to make that the 'mystery' of the specials, throw in a crazy regeneration sequence... then just suggest it's a bit of a subconscious message. If we are going to get crazy with what regeneration can do, why not go all in with stuff like the Guardians of the Edge, or the Valeyard or something? Have fun with the internal identities lore of regeneration?

So yeah, to summarise my thoughts on the bigeneration... I really think RTD might have gone a step too far this time. I spent a little time after the last episode talking about how the lack of resolution on the Flux was one of my bigger complaints about the Chibnall era, but this writing decision feels even more baffling. If Doctor Who is going to have a 'jumping the shark' moment, we might have just witnessed it.

That being said, as someone who hates being too negative, I did find a silver lining in that the dialogue implies he's planned ahead how to get out of some of these issues, with regards to two concurrent Doctors etc. It just doesn't feel good being in this situation at all, when it wasn't needed in the first place.

Overall thoughts

I didn't hate the episode. In fact I was very much in to most of it! There were a lot of good ideas, across the Toymaker, the Giggle etc. although I do feel some were woefully underused within the episode. It's just that they're all kind of marred by that one big bad idea at the end.

Like I said, the stuff focusing on the Toymaker and the Doctor's history, plus his time since he travelled with Donna was great. The Giggle was a fun satirical concept, if again underused, and the Toymaker's argument for targetting Earth was pretty great. The resolution of forcing the Doctor to settle down, for a little while, and be with friends is decent too, and a nice conclusion to come to, even if the way it came about was a mess.

I suspect, and hope, we might get some more details not just about how this will all work (or maybe just opening up the question without getting too specific), but also about any possible plans for spin-offs and whether or not they will overlap with the stuff in this episode, which may or may not alleviate my worries.

But for now.... yeah, I'm concerned, sorry.

#Doctor Who #The Giggle #DW Spoilers #Doctor Who Spoilers #Doctor Who 60th Anniversary #DW negativity #Fourteenth Doctor #Fifteenth Doctor #RTD #I'm not going to go full “anti-RTD” or anything #don't worry #(I don't exactly want to see that myself either) #and will probably keep being quite positive and creative about the show #if occassionally critical of certain things #but this is probably the most worried I've been #far more than I ever was with the Timeless Child lore #even if I do still have some of my own critiques there #(TLDR I kinda want someone - maybe RTD - to pull an Unnatural History and open it up more to interpretation) #gallifrey being re-destroyed and the flux being unresolved are up there but probably still second and third to this in my head

[yen-doodles]

Another late fic! More shadowpeach because their slowly eating my brain lol

Also small reference to @animemoonprincess 's giggle glow au, I really liked the idea and I kept thinking "what if the glow can be caused by chemicals similar to what is released during laughter?"

It's basically just me self-indulging myself hehe

Karaoke Dream - Shadowpeach fic

Macaque sighed. This was going to be a long night.

The shadow monkey couldn't remember how, but he had somehow been dragged out of his apartment to go out with the gang. Macaque regretted ever taking them to his place with every random or uninvited visit, the most annoying, and totally didn't make his day secretly better, were Wukong's; MK at least texted him some kind of warning.

"C'mon slow poke! I know you're centuries old but that doesn't mean you have to go at a grandma's pace" Mei teased, managing to be the fastest of the bunch even as she walked backwards. 

Macaque rolled his eyes, walking even slower out of spite. With the many super powers and vehicles at the group's disposal, they had chosen to walk instead. The darker monkey had kept to the back of the group to keep some distance and to avoid their insistent chatter.

Though he admits he mayhaps be slowing down the rest of them by his pace, the grandma comment was a little unneeded.

"That was uncalled for y'know" he stated, grumpily glaring at the girl infront of him. 

Mei chuckled, smirking in a way that almost seemed like a challenge, "why? Are you cranky because you need to take a nap grandma?"

"Why you little -" he half grumbled under his breath, his tail swishing across the ground in an agitated manner, before picking up his pace to catch up with her.

The dragon horse girl continued to tease the shadow weaver, throwing a playful insult at the other every so often. The rest of the group stayed out of the twos reaching, watching in amusement as they bickered. They knew it was all in good fun so they weren't worried.

Eventually the two had grown bored of the back and forth, deciding to call a truce. 

Macaque had taken to walking next to Mei once their chasing had subsided, too lazy to slow his walk to reach the back again. "I'm appalled by how horrendous your manners are dragon girl, you should learn to respect your elders" he said, putting on a false expression of seriousness and offense but a playful smile threatening to break through realized his true intent. 

Mei fake gasped, placing a hand on her chest to further convey the message, "how rude! You have truly forsaken me grammy."

The darker monkey rolled his eyes again, this time in a more joking way. "Here I thought 'grandma' was the worst you could've said, I've been corrected" he said, dripping with sarcasm.

Mei snickered, smirking once more. "Would gran-gran suffice better for you then?" She asked, sounding proud of herself.  Macaque winced, his face looking one of disgust "no, just no."

Monkey King, which had spent most of the walk lounging on his floating cloud, had sauntered up to the two with his own smirk on aforementioned cloud. "You're so harsh GG it's almost cruel" the stone monk stated to the other, where upon the other glared at him. Macaque's good eye slightly glowing purple for a split second.

"You are despicable Wukong" the shadow weaver deadpanned but it only caused the others more amusement, Wukong's cheeks radiating a soft golden glow from them as giggled to himself.

MK interrupted any further teasing by making his way to the front, "we're here!" He announced loudly as he pointed towards the sign above them which they peered up at. "Singing Dream" written in big neon pink and blue lights on the sign, making the two monkeys sort of falter.

It has been a long time since Macaque had sung infront of people, he had sparingly sung in his own time but that was the extent of it. He was a performer, sure, but not a singer.

Not to mention he hadn't yet grown accustomed to, well, being on good terms with the heroes. How'd could he know that they wouldn't use this against him somehow? He didn't.

Then there was Sun Wukong. Besides the possibility that he might insult him on his singing, which was wasn't a big worry to him, the darker monkey had noticed the other flinch when realizing it was a karaoke place. Furthermore, he could hear the sage's heart beat beating irrationally against his chest, his tail flipping anxiously against the cloud. Something wasn't right.

Macaque glanced at the other in concern. Before he could will himself to say anything, Wukong spoke up. "What's the hold up guys? Let's go on inside!" He said while nervously chuckling to himself, wincing at how forced his own voice sounded.

Wukong started walking forward into the karaoke place, the other group members following suit. The shadow monkey had raised his hand slightly to reach out for the other monkey but let it drop to his side as went in.

Though he noticed a brief exchanging of glances between Monkey King and MK, which seemed to calm the mentor's nerves. He sighed softly in relief to himself.

--

The interior inside the building looked nice, being furnished rather well. They were shown to their private karaoke room which was kitted out with a small stage that had different coloured lights and seating area. This seemed to calm the sage more, his heart rate lowering to it's normal pace.

Soon enough the singing began, whoever decided or were volun-told to sing went up on stage while the rest remained seated as they listened to the person–or people–before cheering. The loudest cheering always going to Sun Wukong.

First had been MK and Mei. They had chosen to sing "Wannabe" by the Spice girls, with added dancing. Clearing showing off to the rest of them. 

Next was Red Son, having been volun-told by the two young adults, begrudgingly going up on stage. The two had pick a song when the demon wasn't looking and had to sing "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" by Whitney Houston. Though a little squeaky at points, Red had done an alright job; it wasn't easy to go up against Whitney.

Soon after came Tang and Pigsy, the two had scrolled through the song until they came to one that the scholar seemed particularly happy about. It turned out to be "A Whole New World" from Aladdin. 

Pigsy had briefly debated with Tang to do something less "cutesy" as he chose to put it, though lost massively. 

Tang sang fairly well, sing Jasmine parts while the chef did decently while singing Aladdin's parts. Pigsy remained red for the duration of the song, standing awkwardly next to the scholar as he sang along happily.

The song finished, Tang bowing proudly as the others cheered, and the pair began to make their way off the stage and back to their seats so the next performance could commence. Before they could however, Sandy brought them back onto the platform. Having been captivated by the two's performance, he had wanted to join the fun.

They looked to the others to make sure it was okay to go again after just going, Mei deciding to join them as well, they got the green light and over to the machine to pick a song. The four picked "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen since it had enough parts for everyone and was also just a classic.

Macaque had been content with staying on the large sofa, seating himself in a corner far from the others. Pigsy, Tang, Mei and Sandy sat around the other corner while Red Son, MK and Monkey sat in-between. Sitting closest him being Wukong.

He had been minding his business, for once, fiddling slightly with the ends of his scarf when the two young adults appeared in front of him. 

The shadow monkey glanced up at them confused, raising an eyebrow at their particular-ness, the two's sardonic smiles making him a little uneasy. "Wha-" he started to say but was cut off. 

"It's your turn Macaque" the friends said in unison, having an unusual intimidating aura around them.

The darker monkey promptly shrank a bit under their glaze, feeling as though he'd been sent to the principal's office. "I think I'm good actually, yeah, I'm not all that big on singin' ya see" he stated, hoping it'd make them back down. It didn't, not even in the slightest.

"Don't fight it Mr. Captain of the theater kids, just climb on stage" Mei said, holding out a mic to him.

Red Son scoffed as he glanced over at the shadow weaver, "the two didn't accept me saying no and, rather forcibly I might add, pushed me onto the platform. I'd just play along unless you want the same fate Six-Earred Macaque" the demon deadpanned.

Macaque sighed, grabbing the mic out of the girl's hand, accepting his fate. "Fine" he said to the two friends' joy, standing up to step onto the stage.

He went to the machine to pick a song but found one had already been picked. "Why is one already picked?" He asked the two, knowing they were behind it. They laughed. "We'd thought you might go for an easy song to get it over with, so we picked one for you that makes you actually try" the dragon stated matter-of-factly.

The darker monkey groaned but pressed play on the screen, the robotic voice reading out the title before the actual music started to play.

"Now playing: 'Use Somebody' by King of Leon"

Macaque's eyes held a determined glint in them as he readied himself. If they wanted him to sing then he will, and out show all of them.

Drums and guitar filled the room, back up vocals accompanying them. He took one final breath to steady himself while he wait for his queue to begin singing.

"I've been roaming around, always looking down and all I see" his voice was soft, angelic almost. The group of hero sat in shock before becoming enamored by the shadow monkey's performance. They hadn't suspected him to actually be able to sing, well, except for Sun Wukong. 

The two monkeys were once close friends, as the others knew, they had seen the rise and the fall of one another. 

When they were little, before the idea of greatness or adventures outside of Flower Fruit Mountain filled their minds, Macaque used to sing to Wukong.

Most of the songs were ones they'd heard from the travelers that would make there way up the mountain, others were ones the shadow weaver had made up. His voice was calming and soothing to the ears, it could even be called pretty. 

Even though Macaque had only sung a few notes, Monkey King knew it hasn't changed at all over the centuries.

"Painted faces fill the places I can't reach.." he made sure to put emphasis on certain words as he kept his eyes to the front. He had been semi-familiar with the song, guessing he had heard it on the radio a few years ago.

"You know that I could use some-body" the sound of the drums pounded against Macaque's chest and he feeling of the rush beginning to hit him. Kind he always feels when he performs, when he's going toe to toe with Sun Wukong.

Sun Wukong. He could feel the other monkey's golden eyes on him, as though he was the only thing worth looking at. As Macaque prepared for the next line of the song he had a realization, he wanted Wukong to only have his attention on him. 

It hurt to be near the stone monkey, but gods did he crave it. He felt so whole with the gold eyes on him, free, safe.

He felt his own eyes being drawn to him, his and Wukong's being put in a trance. And Macaque decided that he was going to do due whatever it took to keep the sage's eyes on him, dive deeper into those eyes, indulge himself in the positive attention the other monkey was giving him so freely in this moment. Turn this performance into an exception for them both, then go back to the script once the last note was played. 

"You know that I could use some-body" he kept his eyes on Wukong, noticing how the other's face dusted with a golden blush.

"Someone like you!" He felt his voice become more emotional as the words left his lips. He remembered the times he had needed Wukong the most. When demons had invaded the mountain and burned everything to the ground, when the Great Sage had left him after their first ever fight, after he had been revived...

He resented Monkey King for leaving him, for betraying him, for killing him but he couldn't yearn for the bond and friendship they had. For the love he had and still held for him in spite of everything.

"And all you know and how you speak.." the others had been forgotten, the two monkeys existing in a space that was just for them, "countless lovers.. undercover of the street!"

"You know that I could use somebody! You know that I could use somebody!" The drums started picking up.

"Someone like you!" Macaque belted, his face admitting a soft purple glow as though he was covered in stars.

Music break. The shadow monkey taking a chance to catch is breath.

"Off in the night while you live it up, I'm off to sleep" his voice had become softer, gentler. 

Sun Wukong took notice of how the stage lights illuminated the darker monkey, making him look like an ethereal god from the celestial realm. His eyes seeming to shine.

He felt his successor nudge his arm, probably seeing how mushing the king was looking at the moment, but he chose to ignore it. He could deal with the teasing later.

"Waging wars to shake the po-et and the beat" the shadow monkey knew mayhaps was getting too into it but gods it was cathartic! To know, for a moment, that he was being genuine and real. Not only to himself, with Wukong as well. 

"I hope it's gonna make you no-tice!" it felt like everything in him was reaching out to Sun, to notice him, as cringey as it seemed, screaming for the sage to see him. Reach out to Macaque like it seemed that the he was always doing for the other.

"I hope it's gonna make you no-tice!"

"Someone like me!" Wukong's gaze felt the sun, warm, painful, yet so inviting. It almost seemed he was going to be burned but it was addicting nonetheless, to be what he was seeing, to be all he was caring about. To have be speechless.

"Someone like me!" Macaque repeated, and Monkey King felt dazed. By the lights, the song, how dazzling his old friend looked up on the stage. The shadow monkey's voice lulling him into a place between soberity and drunkenness, so out of it yet he couldn't be more awake.

He felt him wanting to pull Macaque closer, draw the demon nearer to him, as though he was merely a mirage and would slip through his fingertips like sand.

"Someone like me, some-body!" The shadow weaver repeated again.

Another music break, back up vocal chiming in singing "go and let it out."

If Sun Wukong was the sun, Macaque was the moon. Linked. Dependent on one another, two halves of a whole.

"Someone like you, somebody" the song was soon to end, the two monkeys welcoming yet truly dreading the final lines. Because the exception would be drawing a close. The Sun and Moon rotating out of orbit from one another, the eclipse gone.

Two separate beings, two separate paths. Back to routine.

"Someone like you, somebody" he repeated.

"Someone like you, somebody!"

"I've been roaming around," the darker monkey's voice became softer again, yet his eyes didn't leave Sun Wukong's, "always looking down and all I see.."

The exception to the rule was over.

The others say in shocked mixed with amazement as the last notes ring out. Then slowly, Monkey King stood up clapping his hands firmly together before the rest followed suit. His golden eyes still holding onto the performers, unwavering, momentarily flashing pink.

--

The shadow monkey stood outside the karaoke place, slumped against the wall behind him.

The group were planning to head out soon, as it was getting late. Macaque had taken the opportunity of the others being distracted by doing one finally song to slip outside for some fresh air. 

He sighed for probably the fiftieth time that night. Finally coming down from the rush of him performing.

It all felt like a dream honestly, and from what the monkey expect, that was how it was going to stay. A dream. Wukong would pretend nothing happened in there between them, because nothing is what happened. Or that's what the demon was trying to tell himself, it would be easier to play along with the lie if he believed in it.

Though he couldn't help how his heart pounding at remembering. The heat, the gold eyes, the rush. It felt accelerating. 

But it was an exception, nothing more. Nothing at all.

It definitely isn't messing him up at all, not in the slightest, he's completely normal. He's normal because there's nothing that would be messing him up right now.

He heard soft footsteps being placed against the concrete as them came closer towards him, his ears twitching at the sound, breaking the monkey away from his little dilemma.

"There you are! I suspected you'd sneak off when given the chance" a familiar voice called.

It was, of course, Sun Wukong. The cause of his dilemma in the first place.

Macaque rolled his eyes, attempting to act nonchalant, being riddled with both panick and confusion. "What? How else am I going to scheme otherwise?" He asked jokingly. "Plus it's a nice night tonight, be a shame to waste it" he added, shrugging.

"True" Wukong agreed.

The two proceeded to stand there in silence, staring up at the stars above. 

Which lasted until the darker of the two decided it was getting a tad uncomfortable. "So, did you need to tell me something or... did you just want to awkwardly stare at the night sky together?" His voice was gentle as asked the question, him considering teleporting home before the other had a chance to answer.

The stone monkey chuckled nervously to himself, his face glowing ever so slightly. "Yeah I uh- wanted to tell you that.." Wukong sounded hesitate, his tail swinging around his feet anxiously. He breathed, trying to relax, "I really liked your performance" Monkey King eventually said.

Macaque scoffed softly, of course that was it, how could it be anything else. "That's it? Gods Wukong, you could've said that to me inside!" He stated, sounding unnecessarily agitated, had he wanted him to say something else?

"Was that you wanted to say or is there something-" the demon monkey began to say but got interrupted, Wukong lacing their tails together as he refused to meet his eyes; blushing gold all over.

Macaque felt his heart crawl into his throat as he struggled to say something, blushing just as much as the other. "So... There is something else?" He finally managed to ask, the sage simply nodding. 

Before more could be said, the rest of the group had chosen then to leave out the doors which succeeded in startling both monkeys.

"C'mon lovebirds! I called us a taxi, let's go!" Mei announced as she charged ahead, the others following close after.

"We're not lovebirds!" The two yelled loudly, before joining the rest. Though, as they walked, their tails stayed wrapped together.

The Sun. 

The Moon. 

Linked together into one.

#monkie kid #lego monkie kid #lego monkie king #Sun Wukong #Six-Earred Macaque #lmk Macaque #lmk sun wukong #lmk sandy #lmk tang #lmk pigsy #lmk mk #lmk mei #lmk red son #karaoke #drabble #late night #shadowpeach #Giggle Glow AU

[beli-heart]

tw // bite mark , alcohol use

✨Server Exchange gift! Mini comic! 3 pages!(page number on bottom of each page) (Text from pages written below!)

Geskier, non/traditional a/b/o (alpha Eskel, omega Geralt, alpha Jaskier), hurt/comfort.

Summary: Jaskier first sees them in a tavern, bonded mates Geralt and Eskel. After years traveling on the path together he realizes he loves them both, but they’re already bonded so why would they want him too, he thinks. He hides his feelings away till one day Geralt drunkenly confesses that he and Eskel are in love with him. Everything else falls into place.

This is my first comic and honestly I didn’t have a clue what I was doing half of the time. Lol, still I’m really proud with how it turned out. Took me a month to complete and I had loads of fun! Also, this was the first time I draw game version Eskel, so I’m glad I had multiple chances to draw him! Also also, there’s a fourth(4th) page that is nsfw which can be found on my twt. :3

Text reads:

Page 1, Jaskier says,

“I saw them and knew, but… why would they want me?”

Page 2, (drunken confession),

- Geralt “Jask…I’m ‘n love with you.”

- Jaskier “Geralt, you’re drunk, and that’s a cruel joke.” “Eskel, dear, w…” (gets cut off by Eskel)

- Eskel “Julek, he’s not joking. ••• We’re in love with you.”

- Jaskier “You-what” “I didn’t think…” “Your love me?”

- Geralt “Yes, Jask. Do you…”

-Jaskier. “My dear witchers, I’ve always loved you both.”

Page 3, Jaskier says,

“Silly witchers.”

#the witcher #geskier #traditional watercolor #geralt of rivia #eskel #jaskier #fanart #the witcher fanart #geralt x jaskier #jaskier x eskel #geralt x eskel #traditional art #twn #beliheartart

[pochapal]

This will be an interesting time to get into homestuck, considering everything

Umineko question for ya: Why do you think this is a Visual Novel(or as 07th expansion calls it, a Sound Novel)? They could of written a more mainstream novel. And the original version of Higurashi was a play.

probably the best time, really! if you ever get around to reading + finishing it i have a limited but comprehensive list of fics for you to check out when you're done lol.

as for the umineko question: i think this is a similar reason as to why homestuck is the way it is. the vn form allows for a better specific modulation of pacing and tone through the use of sound, art, and dialogue that a novel alone cannot accomplish. i also think in umineko's case specifically vns are often seen as "interactive" fiction and while umineko itself has no means of directly interacting with the text beyond clicking to advance it by a line, as a reader this is prompting you to have a more active involvement in the story, which in turn motivates you to further *want* to engage with and solve the mystery rather than passively letting it wash over you as can happen with traditional prose. also because "oooooOOoooOOOOOOhhhhhhh beatriceeeeEEEEEEEEEE" absolutely Needed an audio dimension for the full meaning impact and thematic importance of its existence to be conveyed. umineko is not even half the story it is without the old man shrieking.

higurashi starting out as a play is also interesting too! particularly given that (sorry to always be talking about this) homestuck's construction is deliberately evocative of a play - structured with acts and intermissions, heavy dense pages of dialogue without much prose direction - as well. this is i guess going into the construction of dramatics and maybe melodrama? ie when dealing with a text to be Performed there are certain primers/prompts that push you to engage with things on a deeper emotional level. i guess a lot of that would be pertinent with umineko's family drama angle as given the limitations of time/place/character there is something stageplay like about the story itself (i also know about the stageplay adaption and i'm very excited to get to the point where i can safely look at that). similarly this probably explains why homestuck is known for its myriad fandubs - something about the dialogue-heavy form is begging to be performed, for you to feel the words in your own throat as much as reading them in your mind. the drama makes it visceral which is probably why stories like these have such staying power in the minds and hearts of those who make it to the end.

#coolstuffiseverywhere