#why is socialization so fucking hard???

[yardsards]

somewhat recently found out that my habit of clinging to a trusted extroverted/outgoing friend like an orphaned duckling in social situations is straightup a trait of autistic masking and stuff has been making A LOT of sense since then

#eliot posts #like??? #i can track all of my high school friends back to one girl that took me under her wing and i clung to and befriended her friends #all of my *close* online friends can be traced back to my one cousin who i have been good friends with since we were young #and sometimes i meet someone else to cling to from the original person #in high school the baton got passed from that girl to a guy i still consider to be one of my besties #and w my online friends i no longer cling to one person specifically but that's more just how online group chats are set up #but god like. i have NO close friends in college #i have acquaintances #and ppl have told me i seem friendly and kind and approachable and i have learned so many scripts for polite small talk #but i don't know what to do after that part! #and then like online i don't have close friends outside of one or two branching circles #i have some mutuals on here that i think we're maybe friends but i'm not sure and it doesn't feel like CLOSE close friendship? #like no one i feel comfortable approaching out of nowhere and talking about my day to #i don't understand how so many people talk about having made close friendships through fandom #it seems cool i just. ????????? #and on that note i have no clue when to consider people friends! if it's too soon i come off as clingy if it's too late i come off as mean #and what social actions are appropriate to initiate at what levels of friendship??? #why is socialization so fucking hard??? #it's SLIGHTLY easier w other autistics but even then it is fucking DIFFICULT #though that's all moot cuz i can barely convince my shitbrain to message the friends i DO have #but like ugh i wish i could make some irl friends SO BAD #to go out and do shit with #i mean i do a lot of typically 'social' activities alone and have a blast not having to deal with anyone else #but some shit you just kinda need someone else there to have fun

[carpathiians]

sketches

ref

#rdr2 #rdr2 fanart #javier escuella #john marston #jovier #uhhh its implied i guess #im working on other stuff but ill leave this here in the meantime #sorry for only ever drawing these two im not normal about them #thank my social anxiety for not letting me act crazy on here bc otherwise id be so annoying 🙏 #ive been taking it all out on my notes app it looks fucking BAD in there #anyway #john is so hard to draw I hate him and his stupid giant eyes </3 #gotta get better at drawing then both tbh #thats why its taking me so long to post #I keep drawing shit and then deleting it #ok weird rant over if anyone reads my tags im sorry #my art

[magpiethepunkfairy]

The emotional crash and anxiety spiral that hits immediately after hanging out with someone

Did I do good, did I socialize right, did I sound cool, gods do they hate me now, was I to weird, was I to much, did I talk to much, did I have enough to do, I miss them, do they hate me, God I fucked it up probably, whyd I say that, why didn't I say that, do they think I'm weird, do they like me, did-

It exhausts me, but I can't turn it off

#actually autistic #actually adhd #ramblings #mental health #generalized anxiety disorder #social anxiety #anxiety #social phobia #socializing is so Hard #they even said they'd try to hangout again soon why am i so worried i fucked up somehow!! #mag barks

[triple-starsss]

i am SOOOO INVESTED in this au like im about to start a stan twitter account i'm about to make one of those one direction imagines IM!!! SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM!! i'm curious though how do triple s leave eggman's management and how do they continue as a band following that since you mentioned it in your answer about the music?? and seriously tysm for making this au it drives me insane /pos

AAAH IM GLAD TO HEAR THAT LOL i should make a Triple☆S fancam at this rate (also wooo on a roll with asks today asbdjf)

AND OUGHH still working out the finer details of this but i have a sort of vague idea of how i want it to play out!! (also brace yourself this is long as hell)

This is during a period where they start touring and are essentially at the peak of their fame!! They're all incredibly exhausted from the almost daily concerts - mentally and physically. It gets bad enough that Silver ends up fainting live (this was their sort of wake up call that okay shit, we seriously can't be doing this anymore)

With Rouge's help they manage to sneak away from their tour bus prior to the concert happening the next day (which would've been one of the bigger ones in terms of ticket sales). They stay at her place for the mean time, THOUGH OBVIOUSLY THIS CAUSES A PROBLEM FOR EGGMAN!!! Can't exactly have a concert without Triple☆S performing and there were already a shit load of people waiting within the venue - he promptly cancels the event and has to refund all the tickets they sold for this concert (causing a significant dent in his profit as well as reputation).

Fans are incredibly worried (and frustrated)- they don't hear from the band themselves for about a week as they keep missing the tours, Eggman is continuing to lose A LOT of money and his patience!!

this is the part that i'm still working out BASJDHF but eventually they make an appearance again, on a little stage in the middle of the city center. People quickly take notice, crowding around them, barraging them with questions and complaints ETC ABSDJ. They encourage people to start recording and they talk about Eggman, his cruelty (to not only them but his other workers), greed, unethical practices THE WHOLE LOT. This info spreads like wildfire and eventually Eggman is taken away to be put on trial (and is clearly guilty) - effectively ruining his whole business and severing them from his management (yippee!!)

after all that they take a LOOOONGGG ass break from the spotlight absjdhf but they've grown to really enjoy the band and each other's company - choosing to instead be a bit more of an underground (ha sonic underground) group, performing music more catered to their tastes and initial vision for the band (this does dwindle their popularity but they find comfort in that).

They do obviously end up losing their apartment too absjdf - Sonic lives with Tails again, Silver finally gets his own place and Shadow sort of bounces between living with Rouge and back with Gerald and Maria!!

#LONG POST ALERT ABSJHDF #if there's any typos sorry its like 1AM and i am SLEEPY #that last part with the public announcement is definitely still a WIP #i like to think they posted some super fucking cryptic message on social media before it thinking it would be sooo funny #if you're wondering why they didn't do this way earlier: DONT THINK TOO HARD ABT IT ABSJDF #working with Eggman made them feel as though he held power over them though - like no matter what they done it would be fruitless #and hell they kinda need to give it to the man- without him they wouldn't have been where they were.. so he clearly knows what he's doing- #they don't need to interfere #WEEE WOOO THEY'VE BEEN MANIPULATED!!!!!!!!! GASLIT!!!!! WEEEEE WOOOOO #triple☆s #asks #t☆s txt

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

watching mindhunter and so far holden seems like a gay autistic people pleaser

#random thoughts #mindhunter #gay because 1. in his relationship with his girlfriend he seems to be very passive and not very emotionally involved #2. in the scene where he's eating her out he says he wants to get it over with as fast as possible (paraphrasing) #autistic because he has like zero social awareness and no ability to detect sarcasm #people pleasing mixes in with the autism because he seems to be trying to say what people want to hear #also why are his scenes with kemper so sexually charged. 'it's hard to fuck a neck' he says while grabbing holden's neck #'why do you keep talking to him about your girlfriend' yeah why ARE you talking to kemper about sex dude #i wouldn't be surprised if he asked his girlfriend to try something ~different~ that night #what even is her name hold on #DEB!!!

[yea-baiyi]

nailing my theses to the door: the way hua cheng acts about xie lian is precisely how those carefully non-toxic insane kpop stans behave. like “i love them and support them no matter what” and “let’s respect their boundaries” and “let’s raise a ridiculous amount of money for charity in their name” but also “every inch of my bedroom walls are plastered with their face” and “i spend hours every day getting into arguments online defending them against haters” and “i collected all 700 of their album photocards” and “i have them blocked on twitter so they can’t see my smut fics” and most importantly “if they end up dating someone i’d be devastated, but as long as they’re happy id support them no matter what”

#tgcf #hualian #my hyperfixation demon #tgcf meta #meta stuff #i have a whole au about this #but also as a veteran non toxic insane kpop stan #like. the way hc acts about xie lian is exactly just that #the parasocial relationship is real but he is acutely aware it is one sided #and he goes to great lengths to personally police himself against crossing any boundaries #that’s why i SAY. he tries so hard not to be toxic #but it doesn’t mean his obsession isn’t utterly insane and over the top. bc it is #but he’s self aware and tries to do it in a way that won’t hurt xie lian in any way #have u guys ever navigated the non toxic stan culture that exists on social media. it’s a minefield. the way they fucking talk #anyway

[reel-fear]

MIKE BLOCKED ME ON TWITTER FOR ROASTING HIS DUMBASS RESPONSE TO THE GRAPHIC NOVEL STUFF!!

grown ass man scared of the 19-year-old queer being mean to him over his public meltdown more at 8.

#ramblez #little white boy sad? U sad bc nobody likes you? Bc u constantly make a fool of urself and show off ur distaste for ur fans? lmao #this is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me imagine how mad he'll be when he finds out the fangame Im making has queers in it #hes gonna have a whole other white boy meltdown on main KJSNFDGKJHFGKJHGKJHSDFGSD #hes so fucking sensitive maybe just get off of social media Mike this never ends well for you #batim #batdr #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #and look Im joking around about this but it really is sad that the bendy devs cant handle this kind of critique towards their decisions #it seems despite the backlash once again they are choosing to ignore their fans which is yknow upsetting #But hey ig if the devs being awful was a dealbreaker for this fandom I wouldve left a long time ago and I havent #dw Im not going anywhere <3 #also if anyone else here was also criticizing Mike maybe check his acct to make sure ur not blocked now since apparently #old habits die hard and this is certainly a pattern with him KJHDSFKGJHSDKFGJHDFGSD #also look before anyone asks yes I was kinda mean to him over this but to put bluntly if hes gonna be this dismissive to his fans concerns #he deserves it. Theres this persistent attitude esp in bendy fanspaces of being defensive of the devs #and I dont know why they have been extremely horrible people every single chance they get #and its very hurtful to see how many people would rather tell me to be kinder to the people who broke the heart of a child me when they #dismissed any ideas of putting queers like me in their stories than to realize Mike n Meatly bring this bad attention to themselves #to put bluntly I dont owe them kindness not until they at least apologize for the shit they did which they still havent #mike hasnt even addressed his vent poem in the code of BATDR let alone the other shit he said n did #so no I will not be kind to him ever hope this helps!

[dennisboobs]

.

#absolutely do not want to argue because i get where the post is coming from with but im gonna give some thots #re: dennis autism!!!! ok!!!!! #ive talked about it before but there is WAY more to him being autistic than just the buzzer noises. when i first watched that i was like #is THIS really why people hc him as autistic. :/ and i get it! i do! i think he has misophonia inherited from glenn personally #its actually why i captioned the noise sensitive den gifsets as that rather than just. autism. #but personally i see his scripted social interactions and i go. yeah. me. me fuckin too. #and his outbursts. which are VERY personally relatable to me #i have uh. basically the same triggers? very similar triggers at least #i think dennis' neurodivergency presents itself differently because of his upbringing and thats why a lot of ppl go ???? when you say. #'yea i think den's autistic actually' #and like i said i was absolutely like. what the hell are people talking about. he's not autistic #but uh. on rewatches? hm. #dennis quite literally masks almost 24/7 #charlie has no qualms about being perceived as like. weird. but dennis masks SO hard. SSSSSSOOOOO hard #i once saw a post like. charlie has boy autism and dennis has girl autism which honestly fucking hate that but its... kiiiind of true #ASD presents itself differently in adults depending on early social conditioning #mac fights gay marriage. group dates. new wheels. dee day. celebrity booze. all the big ones. all the hits. #look how he acts when he goes off script and is forced to speak off the cuff #the way glenn describes him as being very emotional but unable to adequately express his emotions too like. yeah. same. #theres so much more than the noise sensitivity #i could go on and on about how many fucking boxes he ticks but i honestly hate that shit. i know how autism works and that bitch is autisti #im going to refrain from commenting on the reasons why i feel charlie is more acceptably hced as autistic vs dennis because mmmmm but #dennis being 'hypersexual' (not about the sex. at all) and socially adept (has scripts/systems. charlie is more emotionally intelligent) #smells a lil stinky. smells a little bit like infantilization on charlie's part. #ada speaks #ok ill spare you guys. someday ill write a proper meta on this. ive talked about it before but.

[moenmomentsthemoe-en]

#tomorrow..................... #delete later #vent #more vent in tags (it gets heavy sorry) #it is like 4am and ik theres a rule that you should never trust what you feel about your life after 3am but i feel like this 24/7 WAHA #mann i #im so fucking scared that im not a good person or friend or anything im trying so hard #i dont know why i feel hurt by things i shouldnt feel hurt by and i dont know why i keep failing to do the things i want to do or #god it probably isnt right for me to vent. i think? i dont know honestly i dont know anything #i dont know anything #i have such amazing friends and people around me theyre good people #im so tired and am so very tempted to just delete this blog delete my socials and disappear off earth or just live as a husk by ignoring al #my emotions and incapabilities and stop bothering everyone #everything is so so confusing and everything has gone to shit around me but the people around me arent at fault theyre good people #it has to be that im not trying hard enough #god i have no idea if im a good person. i dont know if a good person has this much trouble and dumbassery #i am. an adult. 18. adult. i have to be #god i wish i could have an adult to help me out but its just. its just me. its a problem i made and surely only i can figure it out

[winslowat3am]

Do u give money to people on tumblr?

Short answer, no. I don't reblog those posts, either. Majority of them are scammers, bonus scamster points if they use their race/gender as emotional manipulation. (Rant incoming cause this pissed me off, not you, but it had me thinking about a lot of shit). I'm sorry but I could never be on Tumblr begging for money, that's embarrassing, no offense. I commend anyone who's shameless enough to do that cause in all seriousness, couldn't be me. I feel like there are just some things you shouldn't do & asking strangers, half of which are minors, to give you their hard earned money in trade for nothing is one of them. The victim mentality of "let me spam my followers with a bunch of sob story updates about my life's issues & guilt trip them into giving me cash", no. Leave them alone. That shit's annoying, inconsiderate & entitled. & it's always the same fucking people holding their hand out. The people you're begging for cash are more than likely struggling too & need theirs. Tumblr is the worst place to ask for assistance. If you need money then you should seek a financial aid program, or I don't know, log the fuck out & get a job like everyone else? That's what people who need money do. There's no excuse, I said this before & I'll say it again, making money nowadays is easier than it has ever been cause of access to technology. Everything is virtual. You can work from home. There are people making millions eating for a fucking living on YouTube. If you're broke atp it's cause you either make excuses for why you can't work or you're just lazy. It's a choice. You don't even need to physically go out & find a real job. Make something. Perform a service. Everyone has something they can offer. Don't sit there & expect people to pay you for nothing. I hate lazy ass people who wallow in self pity, make excuses & don't contribute anything to society & simply exist to leech off others. It's parasitic & pathetic. You "can't work", but you can play around on social media every day? Hmm. You deserve to live in poverty then. You're not special. You better sell some p-ssy, d!ck or c*ke. If you're bussing it open to everyone anyway you might as well get paid for it, in the words of my wife, "make it count". Seriously, I don't respect those people. Tumblr beggars are the equivalent of irl bums who loiter at gas stations harassing passersby for change. It's fucking irritating & unfair that we live in a world where weak people are rewarded, coddled, catered to & given breaks for doing nothing. "Oh well, you know, John can't work, he's dealing with a breakup that has him in a deep depression. I just- I don't know if his mental health will allow him to work." Bro, I sympathize but at the end of the day, screw John. He has no real problems. There are people with cancer & aids right now who are working. People with no limbs are working. He can work, he's physically able to, but ultimately he won't cause he's a mentally weak man with no drive. Let's just call it what it is. I've been homeless & depressed before, I dug myself out of that hole WITH NO HELP, if people can bounce back from homelessness, addiction, abusive relationships & rebuild their lives, if people with deformities can work there's no excuse for why these lazy asses are living in houses, have food & water, with themselves being the only person they have to take care of but they're on here begging us & living off the gov't. That shit IS sad. & I get so heated over this topic cause the bastards who log on & beg aren't going to log off fucking Tumblr & make adjustments so they can afford to live, they're not going to or offer an exchange, they'll continue to do this shit. In the comfort of their home. Meanwhile, the ones they beg have to scrounge. So no motherfucker, I can't help you spend my money. Follower counts mean nothing here cause nobody gets paid on this dead app, this ain't YouTube. If you have hella followers but you still can't eat or pay your bills it's a sign your priorities are fucked. Up. Your followers owe you nothing. Have a little pride & self respect.

#(& this isn't directed at you ❤️ It's me venting about wanting to smack the dog shit out of those people) #To clarify I empathize with people who have disabilities & impairments that prevent them from working #(autism down syndrome paraplegics birth defects people in wheelchairs those can't walk properly etc) #I love them for trying & I'm not talking about them #I'm willing to help those people ❤️ #I'm talking about the parasites who whine about how their life is so damn hard while sitting at home on social media collecting a check #AND beg us for our money while they actively do nothing to better their lives #Those who can walk skip jump with fully functional bodies but use anything as an excuse as to why they can't work & seek pity & donations #Fuck them #They deserve NOTHING & half of 'em are scammers #Log off Tumblr & sell your fucking iPhone 11 if you need money #Stop bothering these people #long post #ask box #inbox #self vent #answered

[robinsversion]

So I started watching the new don’t hug me I’m scared series…

#damn #only two episodes in so far and it goes HARD #less gore than you’d expect but much more social/life commentary #spoiler alert but I probably shouldn’t have watched this after my dad died just months ago #episode two fucking wrecked me especially #don’t hug me i’m scared #dhmis #dhmis spoilers #don’t hug me I’m scared spoilers #why are you booing me i’m right

[cinna-bunnie]

so like..

is the idea that as a compromise to only having to toggle off tumblr live once a month, you now have this permanent tumblr live icon regardless of ur setting choice stuck to the bottom in the middle of everything in the hopes that i click on it accidentally anyways even though it's clear i don't want it or? where is the NO 100% STOP GIVING ME THIS SHIT I DON'T ACCEPT YOUR POLICIES AND LITERALLY COULD NOT CARE LESS ABOUT TUMBLR LIVE AND WILL NEVER BE INTERESTED IN THIS TYPE OF FEATURE OR FORMAT.

@zingring @photomatt @humans idk how many feedback requests people have to cut tumblr for "no" to just be a valid response here. ppl aren't dumb and see u inching over the line trying to force this on them despite the snooze choice.

what, are there so many ppl snoozing and such a low adoption rate that you know you need to trick users into using it so you can "make number go up" or? 🙄

#snoozing tumblr live for a month but perpetually having a big centered button that will take you there immediately at all #times while also inherently meaning that you've accepted the privacy policies and TOS for using a third party service #tumblr is so fucking annoying is2g i should just pester my mutuals repeatedly about getting onto cohost and being active instead #of talking to a fucking brick wall because obviously NO ONE at tumblr gives a shit that NO ONE wants to use their shitty third #party live stream feature. for the millionth time leave me alooooone #my patience and grace for this site is almost entirely spent y'all ngl (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠) tumblr is like one or two annoying updates away from #me bugging y'all to get on cohost. was hoping there'd be a few more good updates before we got back to the annoying enraging ones. #like.. seeing if ppl r mutuals or followers on mobile? 👍 snoozing going from 7 to 30 days? 👍 live being there despite snoozing? 👎🔫 #I'm STILL not over this whole twitter UI too in the browser too. tumblr's trying sooo hard to be a blogging platform in a twitter trenchcoat #u ARE a blogging platform and are functionally different than a typical social media site in multiple key ways. why r u downgrading urself #it's bc matt thinks elon's sooooo cute and wants to kiss him so bad he'd do anything to get his attention #even crash the popularity of his site and burn his good grace he had w the platforms community. #y'all rich mf need some hobbies i swear to god (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠) y'all get bored or divorced n start tryna fix shit that ain't broken. pests. #now it's everyone else's problem too 🙄

[acoldsovereign]

{{ i realized I only posted about it once on the old blog, made a single post here explaining why I moved blogs/remade this account and then privated it because I didn't want to have that negativity hanging over said new blog but uh-

Hi, hello mutuals-- It's me, Tina, lol. I remade my blog and moved from @coldsovereign-a (which is archived now) to here-- @acoldsovereign. I did it because the old blog stopped feeling good to log into.

And, I didn't want to give up so easily. I love Maiz too much and I didn't want this singular, creepy ass, racist, jerk-hole asshat from ruining her/my RP experience. There were other irl/personal issues going on around the same time too and it fucked with my muse majorly. 😭

I apologize if I suddenly seemed like I "disappeared" (and then reappeared) without explanation! I wanted to move on from what happened to me quickly and in the process of that, I uh, forgot about common courtesy for a while. My bad. (Tbh, I just wanted a new home for my girl so I could fully enjoy her again. Glad to say I'm back in the swing of writing her, so the move did help!)

Anyway, more RP stuff coming soon. Yay!

#OOC: Out of Limits #{{ a conversation with a mutual just reminded me that I did NOT do a good job of actually saying what was wrong/didn't explain i remade- #{{ so yee. my bad. lmao. I'll be better about that. i feel a little better about the whole situation and other stuff now tho. #{{ but long story short i was way too accommodating to an asshole who didn't deserve it. #{{ and he like used my personal issues and turned it against me. all bc i wanted to be nice and patient and kind. #{{ i already forgave myself for not seeing red flags so this isn't about that. but the reason why i dealt with that is bc #{{ i have a complex around wanting so hard to not be a monster bc you know. sociopathy fucking sucks. i want to FEEL. and cry. and be kind. #{{ the latter parts are EXCEEDINGLY difficult for me and with my social conditioning as a woman it's hell. i want to genuinely be kind but. #{{ not to everyone. and women are given hell if we dare to be selfish and say “no”. having a hard life growing up helps none. #{{ but anyway-- like i said before i talked to some mutuals about it and i was told i did nothing wrong. so I'm okay. #{{ but I'll be stricter with who i want to interact with because of this event. until i can soften myself up again. and feel safe.

[moe-broey]

*pulls out a crumpled up piece of paper*

My transfemme Fire Emblem Headcanons. Include:

> Rosado, transfemme non-binary, most likely to use neopronouns or multiple sets of pronouns (fae/faer, she/he, never let 'em know your next move)

> Forrest, has been on estrogen for years but still says "I'm a prince" if asked and insists on using he/him pronouns (may be closeted, may be in denial, may do so out of a sense of obligation, may be a case of pronouns being "indicative of but not exclusive to gender identity", may also just have an exceedingly complicated relationship with the gender)

> Loki, a shapeshifter, chooses to look Like That (and she's so based for it)

> Gullveig. Just. Everything Seidr/Heidr/Kvasir and Gullveig have going on. Is so transgender. To me

And on vibes alone

> Triandra

#fire emblem #i just think. more transfemme hcs in the world. peace and love 👍 #i'm transmasc so you can take these w a grain of salt lmfao #also. very much. just the selection of charas i'm in deepest for esp feh oc wise. #i don't have a lot of fleshed out thoughts on trans triandra aside from it's just normal actually. sometimes people are just trans. #and also. like. a lot of trans people do not/did not have easy home lives. like it just makes sense to me #which is like i don't want the trans experience to be defined by suffering but also i think that's why you should have MANY dif trans hcs #like i think rosado perfectly captures trans joy and being dedicated to advocacy and social justice #meanwhile i think. forrest is in the trenches. i'm so sorry. #also the transformation of seidr into gullveig fucks w me SO HARD. i am so insane i know #but it really does feel like a trans allegory. being outed before you were ready. before you even fully knew what it meant for yourself. #and having it fuck your entire life. like she is so transgender to me #also i think any shape shifter is trans by default. ESP if they have a 'main form' they typically present as. #loki is a titted up as wide as she is tall scantly clad goth woman. on purpose. #this is. how i feel. speaking my truth. ect ect #rosado #fe forrest #fe loki #gullveig #triandra

[blue-rick24]

I hate it here I love it here I hate it here I love it here I-

#😭😭😭 #vent #venty #AUGH I CANT JUST BE NORMAL #WHY IS SOCIAL MEDIA HARD AGAIN WHY DO I FEEL BURNT OUT ON EVEN THE MOST TRIVIAL THINGS? #yell #rant #scream #pain #txt #ooc #I just want to have a good time here with you all but I feel SO motherfucking drained when I even think about..’talking’? IDK (it barely is #I am known for the energy I bring to my tags on here & I love to do so n go crazy #But now even the thought of reblogging the stuff I want to makes my brain roll the fuck over #God dammit why😭 Why can’t I have joy lmao

[movedtodykedvonte]

Have you got any specific hcs about queen and spamton?

I have a few as someone who is obsessed with the story of the cyber world before we get there in-game.

Most mansion guests are invited by Queen after their success is seen or she becomes interested in them. Spamton was unique in that he actually pitched himself and bigshot autos to her

She was of course intrigued by this overzealous barely 5-foot ad she never ever heard of and was like "LMAO Let's See What You Got."

Queen quickly grew fond of how bumbling but determined Spamton was, kinda like a Cosmo and Wanda-esque relationship (both dummies but in different departments)

Spamton wanted to prove he could sell to anyone even the Queen herself and was shocked she actually let him in. Thought she was gonna be more strict only to see her put on wheelies and fall face first into a plate of spaghetti code.

Immediately knew there was no way to fuck this up and kinda got a crush.

Spamton and Queen weren't a thing in the traditional sense, more so buddies that were odd and didn't question each other's oddness so they got along really well

Like if Spamton asked if a shopping cart could make it across the battery acid pool with them in it Queen wouldn't think twice before ordering a cart and having the Swatchlings set a ramp

Of course, there was a rumor on what they did on private meeting nights or if the gifts they exchanged were because of profits and honor the Queen or y'know...

Drinking buddies, Spamton has a surprising tolerance for his short stature and the Queen loves any excuse to pour a big glass of battery acid.

Spamton let her vent to him. It was rare someone backed up her feelings of not liking her position and Spam of course could understand and console her

Liked to take her on rides in his Cungadero and Queen liked how average it felt like she related to her citizens more. It was a normal night on the town with someone who knew it and truly lived as a cyber citizen. She liked getting stuck in traffic with him or him almost hitting another car. She felt vulnerable and not completely implacable but not unsecured. He liked that he was finally meeting someone's expectations.

I feel like the Queen was aware of him being off as an ad but she enjoys that part of him. Like it makes her feel like she's succeeding as a Queen when even the off-citizens can prosper

Was not aware of the phone and just thought Spamton had a finicky client thought she should've asked more questions when his downfall came

Honestly, he was more like her blorbo than anything else

Like dude could get away with a lot but he never pushed his luck

She was his girl boss slay queen u_u,

If she asked he would make a car model that's whole purpose was just to blow up despite that being awful for profits

When she had to kick him out, she offered a temporary apartment or condition to let him stay if he wanted to be something more mundane. For reasons, he wouldn't explain he declined

She lets Swatch sell the bowties cause she can't seem to justify completely erasing him from the mansion.

She also kept a pipis but you'll be hard-pressed to find where.

Spam doesn't rip the poster by his dumpster completely off cause he considers it the only official picture they had taken together

To be honest I ship and don't ship them. Like they weren't in love but they were two objectively weird people who think alike but have completely different backstories on to why. They could be open and be themselves around each other even if there were things they couldn't share with each other. It was more like those two weirdly intimate friends who everyone thought were a thing only for you to ask and they both fake vomit about it. They still joke about the idea.

#i like to think queen thought he was ok and just too embarrassed to show his face #but lacked the social nuance to go like check up on him or send anyone to check up on him #spam was bitter and missed their friendship but to say he wanted to go back to the stressful castle life is hard #also the fact that there would be a weird power thing as she is the queen and he's just a very influential guy #she wasn't bad to him or abused that power but it was something that constantly weighted over him in the relationship cause he knew #that if he fucked up she had the power to kick him out or worse and I supposed that became an actualized fear towards the end #angst could be written about White Collar Crown all about the how underneath all the good Spam still had to be concerned as her technical #employee while she is oblivous on why he gets so anxious or doubts his or her feelings #queen is a great character to look at bs spam with #spamton #deltarune #ask #anon #spamton g spamton #big shot spamton #big shot era #queen deltarune #deltarune queen #deltarune headcanon #spamqueen #queenton #white collar crown #royal ad-visor #i think i like the second one better as a ship name #send more asks i probs can write chapter tommorow #i should just put the chapter out #announcing em make me feel bad when i cant deliver #utdr #undertale