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sweetrupturedlight · 4 years

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This week on Sen Çal Kapımı

Serkan's inability to articulate his feelings for Eda has him literally man down, while Eda contemplates their kinda, sorta, maybe mutual feelings and her future. Other stuff happens, but come on, with this episode, Edser takes centre stage as the ship sets sail on the high seas.

Before we jump right into it, last week in this post, I bulleted the things all of us expected was coming.

Let’s take one moment to note the glorious ways in which all of these things unfolded?

Nursing back to health

Pining

Severe angst

Breaking point

Dear writers of this show, we appreciate you. We are truly blessed.

Now, on to this week. The episode picks up where we left off, with Selin giving Serkan 2 days to decide whether she drops Ferit like a hot potato on the eve of their wedding. Let’s be clear, she wants to dump a man she is supposed to marry in two days to resume a logical and clinical relationship? Is Selin even in love with Serkan? It doesn’t seem like he treated her very well – but then again, it seems their relationship had a very logical genesis – no sweeping romantic gestures, no sweet words, no compliments it would seem! etc. So objectively I’m not sure what exactly makes that prospect better than the one with Ferit – who clearly does love and care for her. But I digress.

Essentially, this is how it plays out:

Selin: “Let me know in max 2 days if you want to be with me, k.”

Serkan: ...

Eda: Simply exists.

Serkan: Stares directly at Selin as he deliberately grasps Eda’s hand and holds on for dear life.

Now, they say actions speak louder than words... so how is Selin still not clear on the fact that Serkan not rushing to end her marriage means he’s not interested???

Anyhoo, Serkan and Eda spend most of the episode circling around the same.

Did you say yes to Selin?

What is your opinion on my situation with Selin?

Would you stay?

I can’t stay because… reasons

If either one of these to love-struck puppies took a second to reflect, they would realise that they actually have the answers already. Eda in fact, does consider for a minute that Serkan might actually have feelings for her. Serkan however, is convinced Eda cannot wait to get out of his life - which makes his bold move at the end of the episode a great moment for his own growth as a character. He was operating on his feelings and taking an emotional risk, having no idea how she actually felt. Yes, he had the note she left, but up until 20 minutes earlier, he was still fighting Engin on the notion that she could genuinely have feelings for him.

Speaking on Engin, writers, I have faith that we will see Engin mercilessly tease Serkan in the next episode about his heart eyes and his newfound familiarity with the language of love. This is likely going to bring great comedic gold. Its also not lost on me that Engin can so easily see the love between Serkan and Eda, but is totally clueless about his own romantic entanglements. To be honest, I’m not invested in this romance, so whomever he ends up with - or doesn’t - is fine by me.

Listen, I’m high key bursting at the fact that Eda and Serkan both already see the other in their bed(s). Them facing “each other” with longing was one of the smaller moments of the episode, but one of my favourites. And because this show is so good at parallels, I’m putting it out there that we will get a scene of them sharing a bed without Serkan needing to turn his back to her, but also without Serkan ruining the mood once daybreak arrives. Eda is a snuggler and she loves to sleep. I’m looking forward to bedroom shenanigans. Also, can Eda (and Engin) find the pictures of them he’s clearly carrying around in his wallet at this point? Please and thank you.

SIDE NOTE: according to Laila, Serkan has a conference in London “next week” which has been reserved for two people. Since I’m going out on a limb and saying Serkan won’t be travelling with Selin, will Eda accompany him to the UK? One can only hope for a honeymoon romantic getaway business trip.

Adore the “don’t leave” parallels that the show has been dropping like golden nuggets for the past few weeks. Serkan has spent multiple episodes in a struggle with himself. If Eda wants to leave, he insists its not his style to ask her to stay. But by episodes end he is so frenzied at the thought of his life without her, he’s ready and willing to say it m u l t i p l e times. We love a glow up.

Things I loved about this episode:

The handhold 5 seconds in & Eda’s impulsive kiss on his cheek.

The super cheesy let’s-randomly-turn-on-the-radio-and-awkwardly-listen-to-the-exact-song-describing-our entire-love-story. The way I was lapping it up with shovel. Also, Başak Gümülcinelioğlu’s (aka the actress playing Piril) song Sen Çal Kapımı is beautiful. All the fanvids, all the time please oh talented vidders.

Serkan’s meltdown at the office the minute he realised she’s about to leave. Hilarious. I truly enjoy seeing him a little off kilter and a lot out of control. Just looking at how his employees have relaxed since he’s been more relaxed - due to Eda’s influence - is a great subtle storytelling mechanism as well.

Immensely enjoyed Nurse Eda - especially her traditional approach to checking temperatures. LOL. Just a comment that despite Eda believing Serkan and Selin are most likely a thing, she refuses to leave his side in deference to Selin. I totally loved seeing her stake her claim. And judging by the never-you-mind, irritated way with which Serkan basically told Selin to move along, Serkan doesn’t want people around when he’s sick - but he certainly wants Eda.

Serkan going from unable to communicate to “you’re constantly in my head, in my every thought! You’ve taken over my brain! You’ve taken over my entire life!” #FlingsSelfIntoTheSun

THE KISS. Beautiful cinematography, beautiful direction, gorgeous cast, amazing script. Loved everything about it.

Things that broke/confused me

Serkan being a complete dolt and instead of enjoying the woman he loves cuddled up beside him, he takes the time to reiterate that he doesn’t remember their conversation from the night before. SMH. Eda was about to risk it all one last time, and Serkan’s poorly timed dose of realness is the final straw.

The tears in his eyes when she left the office. He was still fighting being vulnerable, even after Eda basically gave him the roadmap with an x for how to achieve success. Thankfully, by episodes end his own desperation at potentially losing her outweighed his “logic” and self preservation. Eda is teaching Serkan that its okay to need other people and that he doesn’t have to shoulder everything alone. #MyEndlessFloodOfTears

Aydan being unable to see how very much Serkan loves Eda and her - bordering on delusional at this point - push for Serkan to marry a woman who inspires no passion, no interest, no life, no spark in him! I understood it initially. But now it’s just comical. Seyfi is clearly team #Edser. I know the Bolat’s have a history of trauma. But pushing Serkan into a loveless marriage, while hurting Ferit and potentially Eda (and Serkan himself) seems absurd to me.

Ayfer’s reaction to the contract was OOT IMO. The show has been quite light handed with drama and this was the first time I thought the hysterics was over done. I understand that it was a shock, I understand that feelings of betrayal and hurt are natural. But a moment of reflection - as well as allowing Eda to explain - would have easily highlighted what Ayfer already knows - that there is a lot more happening between Eda and Serkan than a mere contract. Furthermore, this “Serkan Bolat is the devil incarnate here to take advantage of our poor Eda” is ridiculous. Serkan is a good person - logical and sometimes aloof - but he isn’t devious. If anything, Ayfer getting to know him during their terrarium creating afternoon left her with a good impression of who he is. So unless there are missing scenes somewhere, her suddenly being anti-Serkan feels like a necessity to serve the upcoming plot, as opposed to an organic happenstance. Not my favourite development. This includes her orchestrating Eda’s scholarship in Italy. Feels out of character. But let’s see how it all plays out.

Things I know is coming:

From the fragman, Serkan names a star or something after her #squee

Selin finally getting it

Aydan not getting it

Seyfi being over the moon - along with Melo no doubt

D R A M A about parents and death and cover-ups but I’m ignoring that for now

And most importantly:

Dating

Kissing

Hugging

Giggles

#FlingsSelfIntoTheEverLovingSun #NotPrepared

#sen cal kapimi #Sen Çal Kapımı #edser #serkan bolat #eda yildiz #naz rambles #JFC I love this show #THANKS FOR MY BB FOR LIFE MIRI FOR POINTING ME AT THIS SHOW #I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER #f long post #so under the cut

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missholland · 4 years

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Lan Wangji (mostly, his love)

LAN ZHAN! I read somewhere that this was said 102 times by Wei Wuxian in The Untamed. It feels like an understatement, cause I’ve watched the show so many times now I could hear ‘Lan Zhan’ being called in my sleep...

My first time watching the drama, I was full on Team Xianxian. I mean, who would not be? He’s the central character of the story, he’s the first thing you see within the first few seconds of episode 1, and who could resist his sunflower aura? I was not into Lan Wangji at all. I remember this clearly because I just found an old Instagram story in my Archive on the day I first watched this show: a screenshot of Wangji’s face in episode 3 and my caption was: ‘OMG how could Wei sunshine fall in love with this dry and boring man?’. And just like how Wangji eventually swallowed all of the statements he had made about the young Wei Wuxian (’I don’t touch other people’, ‘We’re not close’, etc.), I am not the same person on that fateful day tuning in the first episode on Netflix. I am now Team Hanguang-Jun through and through!

What I’ve been enjoying so much these days is watching random earlier/later episodes just to compare how Wangji’s attitude changed toward Wei Wuxian over 16 years-ish. It’s probably so obvious for everyone that he definitely falls in love first, even when the drama purposely made their early relationship a lot more intense comparing to the novel i.e. showing Wei Wuxian somewhat feeling the same way about Wangji in his first life, with the constant flirting and mutual pining (don’t even get me started...). Now that I kinda understand what the character is like, it makes a lot of sense the way he processed his feelings for Wuxian in his youth. I wonder how different he would have reacted without the push from the best brother/wingman in the cultivation world - Lan Xichen. Sure, Jiang Cheng had a lot to say about this too, but mostly out of a slight envy (I reckon) over Wuxian’s new subject of desire. But Lan Xichen sees through his brother, and has been pretty much WangXian fanclub admin since day 1. I don’t have a brother, but man, I wish Lan Xichen could be mine.

In my humble opinion, the fact that we were given 3 versions of Wei Wuxian throughout the series kinda gifts us 3 versions of Lan Wangji too in a way - the straight face, the confused heart, and the national boyfriend/husband. Considering the number of times I rewatched the latter half of the series i.e. episode 33 onward, I just want to write down all of my thoughts about the national boyfriend/husband Lan Wangji, and not just because that version seems to have the most lines comparing to the other two.

There are several details that were not explained much in the series (although shown on screen) so I have to read from the novel later on. But oh my god, the stuff I found... I never realized that the scene before Lan Wangji went to Mo’s manor where his guqin was playing behind him standing on the balcony referred to how he used Inquiry to find Wuxian. What Jiang Cheng said to him about having gone to a lot of places for 16 years and searching for someone completely went over my head in the first watch, and imagine how I scratched my brain revisiting that part. That plus ‘oh I’ve never seen you at a cultivation conference before’ in episode 41 - my goodness, because he was spending ALL of his time LOOKING FOR Wei Wuxian.

Another thing I hope would have been addressed in the series was the hot iron mark on his chest. I thought the story of him drinking wine and giving himself a mark identical to Wuxian’s was the prime work of a broken heart. He must have thought about their conversation in Xuanwu cave, about the mark staying on his skin forever and how Wuxian was convinced Mianmian would never forget him. Was that how Wangji was making a point of never forgetting Wei Wuxian? If that scene made into the drama, I would have thought Wangji’s character song Buwang to be play in the background. The lyrics fit the situation so much.

Personally, everything from episode 33 onward was perfection for me, finally getting to see Wangji embrace his feelings and ACT ON THEM toward the romance-blind idiot Wei Wuxian (yes, he totally is). All the caring touches and details played out so astonishingly. One of my favourite (which doesn’t seem to be a popular one since I have not seen many gifs of it on Tumblr) was when, after interrogating Huaisang, Wangji comfortably moved over the other side of the table and picked up Wuxian’s left leg to CLEAN THE EVIL SPELL - think of the level of intimacy this act is! Although that came after the romantic piggyback under the moonlight, I thought that speaks volume for someone who doesn’t even physically interact with his family members, and serves as a great follow-up right after he, again comfortably, pulled up Wuxian’s trousers to check his leg.

What I thought was always presented so beautifully is every time Wangji serves Wuxian liquor. The way he carefully picks up his sleeve, prepares the cup (I know they’re probably not called ‘cups’ but I can’t find another word), pours the liquor and slides it over to his partner is so well demonstrated and shows how much he wants to properly take care of Wuxian. Would you put so much effort in such a tiny mundane act if you’re not doing it for the most important person in your life?

In a way, I feel like everything he does is making up for what he could not do the past 16 years, including remembering so many tiny details and keeping all sort of Wuxian-related things. My favourite Wangji keepsake moment, despite being a very short one, is the butterfly talisman at Yunping City which he gave to Wuxian to rescue Wen Ning. I don’t know why that moment makes me really really happy, probably because that was one of the earliest items Wangji could have kept hold of from Wuxian’s. That tells us how way long before he was developing feelings toward this little rebel. Not to mention, we did see Wangji even use this very talisman in episode 11 when he encountered Wen Chao on his way back to Cloud Recesses.

Yes, the ‘I knew he was Wei Ying all along’ while having all the swords pointed at you is highly pivotal as it’s basically the censored version of ‘I love you’. BUT, the moment all leading cultivators of all major and minor clans ran to Burial Mounds just to witness Lan Wangji standing proudly without flinch on the other side with Wei Wuxian makes me appreciate that whole arc a lot more than the big revelation in the last 3 episodes. Wangji ignoring his own Grand Master, Wuxian once again standing against every single person in the cultivation world but with so much confidence this time around - to me, is beyond satisfying. I love this arc so much so I wrote a separate piece about episode 44-45 - if you’re interested in more of my random thoughts, feel free to have a read here.

Thinking about all this, I’m absolutely in awe of how protective national boyfriend Wangji is to Wei Wuxian even before knowing he lost his golden core. They either have insanely accurate GPS, or just really good telepathy. Wangji’s constant attention to his partner (without having to verbally find out where he is) blows my mind every time. Remember how proud Wei Wuxian was having Lan Wangji come out just in time to fight Xue Yang at Coffin Town? That’s how much Wangji’s love and trust empowers Wuxian and makes him so so so secured, even when everyone was walking around in the fog hiding from the most notorious killer and his puppets.

The one detail that pushed me over the edge completely (thanks a lot Lan Xichen) was the story of Wangji’s mom. Oh my god, baby Wangji sitting in the snow really messes with my head. I cannot believe it took 40 something episodes for us to learn about Wangji’s emotionally damaged upbringing and what shapes him into a stubborn lovebird as we know today. It adds A LOT more context and sadness to his famous phrase ‘bring a man back to Cloud Recesses and hide him’, as well as Lan Qiren’s statement ‘have you not learned from your father’s lesson’. I revisit the ‘bring back and hide him’ scene with a completely new perspective and can sense Wangji’s pain and confusion that Xichen described. The desperation in that statement of Wangji was a lot heavier in my eyes now that I understand the back story. If I were Wei Wuxian listening to all of that from Lan Xichen, I would probably have a meltdown right there at the doorsteps of the Silence Room.

Now we all know the source of inspiration of the infamous ‘I want to bring a man to Cloud Recesses. Bring him back and hide him’ in episode 25:

So after all of Xichen’s effort in telling Wuxian how Wangji actually feels about him through the tear-jerker story about their parents, Wei Wuxian STILL asked Lan Wangji WHY he was willing to seal Bichen and his own spiritual power so that Jin Guangyao would not hurt him. This dense man, of course, brought up the guilt card i.e. ‘Oh you don’t owe me anything’. I mean COME ON NOW YILING PATRIARCH! CAN YOU ACTUALLY BE THAT OBLIVIOUS WHEN IT COMES TO THE MAN THAT TOOK 300 LASHES ON HIS BACK FOR PROTECTING YOUR LEGACY?

I know it went the other way in the novel, where the big confession happened. Maybe a bite from Fairy could do you some good, or just talk to Lan Xichen some more and then you can start appreciating your soulmate the way he deserves.

The silver lining after being deprived of an epic love confession is everything that happened in episode 50. It might have not been spelling-it-out clear as in ‘I love you’ ‘I love you too’ because of the government censorship, but it’s easily the most obvious yet emotional type of ending the production team has worked to hard to deliver. If you are still having trouble processing the allegedly ‘ambiguous’ finale, I can help with that - here. Just a heads up: it’s a happy ending.

Good to know Wei Wuxian has the rest of his life making up to Lan Wangji. Everyday means everyday, because Wangji deserves THAT much!

#wei wuxian #wei ying #lan zhan #lan wangji #hanguang jun #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #chen qing ling #gusu lan #character analysis #thoughts #yiling patriarch #yiling laozu #xiao zhan #wang yibo #lan xichen

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queenlokibeth · 4 years

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I know this has been an awful year overall but i've got to say that being by me myself and i alone with my thoughts for 6 months or so... was actually a positive thing.

At one point i of course felt my mental health absolutely decline. Regardless of the cocktail of mental issues that i've had for as long as I can remember, I'd never experienced more than one or two symptoms of depression, but halfway through the summer, I did plenty more. I can only describe what happened there for a bit as a bout of depression. And no, it wasn't that I was "sad", it was that suddenly time wasn't real and i'd go an entire day having gone to the bathroom and eaten once and literally nothing else (not exaggerating, i'd sit down on the couch and suddenlt it was night time and i genuinely did nothing).

It was awful, and not at all what I needed in my life OBVIOUSLY. I was already on a petty roll of making my mental health my bitch, starting with my anxiety. I added this to the list. I don't know HOW because I don't have a recipe for this, but through a mixture of forcefully trying to get my shit together (not a linear process ehem) by sleeping right, eating right, trying to go into the sun a bit (no this wasn't a movie montage in which everything was fine it would take me 5 days to finally manage to go into the street and it took me a month since making this active choice to will myself to do laundry and i only managed to start getting dressed out of my pjs daily in the last week of summer holidays) and there was a whole lot of introspection and just really pulling myself apart and analysing WHY this was happening (as in 'what unresolved trauma' or 'what behaviours has my brain ingrained in itself' or 'why is xyz triggering' or 'what is the purpose of xyz behaviour') but i FINALLY got my shit together/fixed things.

I had really focused on my anxiety, it was so bad and the changes brought on by the pandemic made it worse. But i had time. I had MONTHS. First time in my life that i could actually focus on fixing my anxiety. Then somehow i brought my relationship with food into this, self esteem issues, this deppressive episode, but I sort of pushed what i'd been suspecting to be ADD for a couple years to the back burner bc i just didn't know how to deal with that. And somehow. At last. I'm okay.

Of course i'm not perfect and there are things that i still need to work on, but i've just started school and for the first time in YEARS, literally since i was a child, a toddler maybe, i'm fine.

My anxiety is 80% better (i've been able to do new things with only a little bit of second guessing and my conscious decision wins over the irrational anxiety, i've been able to make PHONECALLS!!! As recently as 5 months ago i had a meltdown over having to make a phonecall and now i'm fine!!!), i have... the most normal relationship with food EVER since i was 13, i somewhat fixed my sleeping schedule (work in progress), no depressive emptiness/lack of "energy" (ik energy isnt the right word there but idk how to describe it it's like the will to exist), and even this weird ADD situation that had plagued me for the past two years is GONE.

I'm on top of my assignments, I haven't procrastinated, i've finished them at a reasonable time of night, i'm able to go over content before class I CANNOT RECOGNISE MYSELF OKAY IM THE CLOSEST TO A FUNCTIONING NEUROTYPICAL PERSON IVE EVER BEEN (still like a continent away but this still works and i know im never GOING to be neurotypical but it's nice to NOT BE A HOSTAGE OF MY MESSY BRAIN)

Anyways that's the story of how I used lockdown to make my brain my bitch and somehow succeeded.

#guys i think this is what thriving feels like #gpoy #mine #it's the first time since i was a kid that i WANT to be alive and exist #for the longest time it was just 'yup im here and thats fine and im just vibing but im also not really feeling it'#wild

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ittakesrain · 4 years

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I’m trying to stay positive, and I’m trying to internalize the meaning of the words I wrote yesterday and that I’ve written on so many days prior. The ones that try to put some sort of purpose to the bad days, those terrible, terrifying days. I’m trying. But how can I reconcile all that with all this:

“right so I thought this particular episode might have been fucking over, but i dunnoooo about that. like i had a really good morning yesterday and i thought things were going smoothly. got to work and was hit with a sickening amount of anxiety bc that place disgusts me in a way i cannot begin to describe. but as sick as i felt (and as exhausted as i was from two weeks of being tortured by the piece of shit brain i have knocking around in my skull), i was thinking i could make it a good day. freaked out when i realized i had to stay longer than i thought i’d have to. holding back tears, wanted to die, same old bullshit. i survived and that’s great, and i didn’t have a TOTAL meltdown which i guess is an improvement. but today i’m irritable and fucking fuckkkk and i’m terrified that this fucking bullshit is just gonna repeat itself continually and without at least giving me the mercy of a break in between. so yeah. have to survive today. and tomorrow. and the next day. i’m off Friday and Saturday, so those’ll be good day (i mean, nothing is guaranteed, obv, but at least i’ll have two days to sob and hide away completely if need be). i’m ignoring the knot in my stomach. i’m ignoring the overwhelming feeling that something nondescript is wrong, so very very wrong. i’m fine. i’m alive. i’m not in physical danger. i’m sitting with the feeling and naming it and it’s there but i’m more than it. is this fake ass positivity fooling anyone? cause it ain’t fooling me”

I’m confused. I know I have to attribute a lesson to the pain because otherwise just strap me up and throw me in a padded fucking room. And I know I have to try to have a good attitude because wallowing in self-pity just isn’t a way to go through life.

But tell me…How. Am. I. Supposed. To. Do. That.

I’m gonna try to figure it out. Look at this nonsenseeee logically (if I can). Maybe do what I love to do and make a list.

I just really really hope that I can work on being so goddamn happy and grateful and calm during the times when I’m not in, active crisis, not in the depths of an episode, that it sticks with me during the bad times. I’m picturing it like an ice pick, for some reason? Like, if I can puncture the depression with an ice pick preemptively, maybe they’ll be less…earth-shattering? I’m not saying they’ll be less intense (I’m fairly certain the past like, 5 or 6 episodes, they’ve gotten progressively worse). I’m not even saying I’m gonna be able to avoid them (they’re inevitable, although I do have hope that they’ll be fewer and farther between). But if I use sane moments to create something to puncture it all with, I dunno, maybe that’ll be the “coping skill” that’ll finally help me for reals.

Also, in this moment of fucking brain-melt, it’s somehow comforting to picture my body pierced by an ice pick, stabbed right through my brain or even my heart. Violence is oddly helpful for me. I think it captures the intensity better. Same reason I love cursing (even though people assume those who curse like I do aren’t as intelligent because we “can’t find better words”). I feel those words in my soul. And I feel the graphic violence (metaphorically) in who I am. I’m not gonna stab myself obviously. And maybe this is a terrible way to end this post. But hey, it’s my blog. At least I have control over THAT.

#bipolar disorder #actually bipolar #mental illness #bipolar #anxiety #depression #sadness #trying to be positive

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paperclipninja · 5 years

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Younger post-ep recap 6x06

Due to a rather unfortunate run in between my laptop and a glass of water I lost my original ramble for this week’s Younger (as well as the actual laptop so R.I.P Lappy, you were actually pretty terrible but we had a good run). So instead of my usual review I thought I’d do more of a recap and refresher of the last episode to get us prepped, primed and pumped (aka the 3 P's) for the next installment (ep7).

Episode 6 of Younger was in many ways so bonkers that it shouldn’t have worked, but somehow all the pieces came together and it did .Oh boy did it ever! I outright belly laughed a number of times throughout and I think my dog was mildly concerned for my well-being because there were actual tears coming out my eyes at a couple of points. I’m a sucker for a pun so ‘Merger, She Wrote’ had me at hello (you could say my hopes for the ep were high...yes I did and #notsorry). What I wouldn’t have given to be in the room to see the reactions to a script with ‘Liza goes to talk to the nurse who is actually a plant’ in it. So yes there were LOLs galore but most importantly, by the end of the ep order had been restored following the upheaval of the past 6 episodes (which is about the limit viewers can take sitting in the discomfort of an unfamiliar detour from the norm IMO: think the Bryce Reiger arc in season 3 and the Charles finding out the lie in season 5...it’s almost as though Darren and co. have done this before...), Finally the fam is back together at Millennial (or is it Mercennial now?)

Straight off the bat I was very distracted for most of the opening scene by Liza’s dress and look in general because it was AMAZING. I am loving all the Maggie/Liza in the morning scenes we’re getting this season and Maggie in a blue coverall embarking on a DIY rope harness ceiling painting project...what could possibly go wrong? I felt mildly uncomfortable at how relatable Maggie’s not being served for 10 mins in a bar and sneaking out to the fridge in the night were, but was also mildly mesmerized by Liza’s coffee mug that looked like some kind of old-timey wash basin (turns out this was not relevant to the story but noted nonetheless). Maggie also offers the very straight forward solution of merging the two companies to alleviate the tension that’s putting Liza and Charles in ‘not a good place’ and I love that her ‘bing, bang, boom’ is echoed by Liza when she floats the idea with Charles later in the ep.

The' Microdosing' book pitch provided us with the set up for the retreat and my fave thing about this scene was how IN character all the characters reactions were to it all; Diana is flat out appalled by the whole thing, Liza is Captain Cautious but trying to play it cool and Kelsey looks like she’s seeing colour for the first time and would 100% pledge her devotion to Travis in any kind of cult situation.

What might have seemed out of character, but actually ended up so perfectly capturing the way she always does everything with absolute gusto, was Diana's foray into boomer erotica narration (as Liza so eloquently put it, 'I think we just found our Seasoned Slut'. These lines, I swear *rofl emoji* ) I think I laughed through the entire scene of Diana in the recording studio, I mean, Miriam Shor's delivery of every line just kills me, but the highlight was undoubtedly when she suggested she could hit nipple a little harder and affirmed 'throbbing nipple' to herself as she walked back to the booth. Zane and creepy af Audrey Colbert waiting allowed for Diana to unsubtly hot foot it out of there, which was a great throwback to her refusal to be in the same room as Audrey in ep 3.

It was a also great opportunity to bring Zane and Kelsey back together and who doesn't love an awks 'accidentally had the mic open and didn't realize' moment when you're talking about how your author is definitely a murderer? I feel like Audrey may go and find another publisher now (just a hunch) but I would really like to see more of her because this character is a type of unhinged that we haven't seen on this show and I think that could be a lot of fun to see play out. I have to say that Kelsey Peters is NOT someone I picked as a boop-er of noses, yet there she was at the bar, booping Zane's nose and this was my favourite interaction of theirs in the series. I was totally digging the dynamic this ep and it will be very interesting to see what that will look like with the new work arrangements. Also, where was Zane when that was all going down btw? I assume Charles filled him in on the bringing the companies together plan before it happened?

Liza's excitement when she told Charles the idea of merging the two companies was endearing and I am unabashedly a big fan of Charles, but his attempt at convincing Liza to join him at Mercury after she tells him that she won't leave Millennial and Kelsey, by saying he left his company to be with her, was super shitty. But it was also super necessary. Because at some point this needed to be said and most importantly, Liza needed to call him out on it and let him know that he cannot use it as a bargaining chip. One of the things I love most about the Charles/Liza dynamic (aside from all the things, but that's another essay) is that Liza is her own advocate in this relationship, she will stand her ground when something is important to her and does not compromise herself to appease Charles. He is equally as stubborn but they are able to have the hard conversations that need to be had but this doesn’t lead them to question whether they want to be together (I very much appreciated the kiss on the cheek Liza gave Charles before she left for this very reason).

So of course being on a psychedelics retreat together when they've hit a roadblock in the relationship was definitely a very good idea...Well it was for us as viewers at least, because pretty much from the moment they arrive and Liza and Charles start talking straight to camera as the literal doctor (my god that whole line just cracked me up) informs them they'll be taking not-LSD, we know we're not in Kansas anymore Toto. Enter Josh for *insert drama here* purposes (and I do think he should franchise Inkburg coz why not?) and we have, ladies and gentlefolk, a recipe for some next level hilarity. But not before Josh and Liza share a lingering look as they take their dose of illicit substance to ensure that Lizs's trip includes one down memory lane.

I have made my feelings about love triangles known many times (quick recap: hard dislike. Tricky to pull off without one or more characters looking bad. Very tiring as a viewer and quite frankly I am pretty lazy and tired most of the time irl so just don't want it on my screen), however I will say that I did not see this ep as re-stoking the love triangle, I saw it as simply reminding us that it is there and can be reignited by the writers at any stage. Within the context of everything that was happening, Liza hallucinating Josh at her door actually made sense and I have no doubt that various factions of Younger fans had meltdowns at that moment for very different reasons.. Sutton Foster's physical comedy throughout this whole ep was second to none, starting at her realization that it was, in fact, Charles who had come to her room and continuing the next morning at breakfast.

Speaking of which, there was something about seeing Liza and Charles in the breakfast room together that made my sappy heart swell, it had such a vacay feel and I'm sure if you muted your volume you could pretend they were just listening to the activities for the day before going off to spend some quality time together...I mean, maybe that would be a thing, I wouldn't know....where was I? Oh yes, the unfolding of a series of comedy golden McNuggets™ that I am still laughing about. We learn that Liza is a supertaster (for those like me who pretended they understood what that meant but then realized they did not, I googled it and it means that she is sensitive to the drugs and basically the microdose affects her like a full dose, you're welcome) and I am chuckling even now when I think about Josh's, 'hey guys' in Charles' voice as he joins the table.

This is another one of those concepts that I feel like could've not worked at all but sweet lawd, the Charles and Josh voice swap scene was next level and I could watch this and the scene that follows over and over and never not laugh. I again LOVE the decision to have the guys talk to camera because it absolutely emphasizes the whole situation and Liza sidestepping away to visit the nurse just rounded off the whole crazy caper.

I have no words to describe how much I love the flat out ridiculous perfection of the visit to Nurse Maureen. Yes Liza has the epiphany that Josh and Charles bring out different things in her (though hot sex seems to be at the core of both so ya know, sounds like a win in the past and present and good for her on both accounts) and again, the unlikely scenario that her ex and current boyfriends are in the same place at the same time (while she is taking mind altering substance) has just played out so it also makes sense in this context. Quite frankly I'm shipping her and Maureen pretty hard at this point because a) it is not easy to pull off eyeshadow that green and b) everyone deserves someone in their life who has the kind of belief in Liza that Maureen does when she tells her 'I bet you can' dance just like me. I don't even know how to explain whatever that dance is but I just know that I want someone/something in my life that will windmill their/it's arms at me with such fervor that I find myself dancing with two attractive men in tuxedos on a galaxy stage.

I cannot express the joy I felt watching the entire dance scene, it was all just so. much. fun. But my absolute hands down favourite moment was when it cut back to the retreat and we, along with Charles and Josh, discover that Liza is in fact dancing with 'Maureen' the plant and seriously, this is up there with my highlights of the entire series. That and the reveal that the selfies Liza was taking were sent to Diana (Diana speaking to Liza in her 'sexy' voice, asking 'where is my plant?', Liza's, 'Maureen', I just cannot with every part of this glorious tie in at the end of the ep. I am sending Ashley Skidmore a houseplant to express my gratitude for gifting us with these moments*). Seeing Josh and Charles together was great but it was clear a scene was missing and I am SO glad that Younger released the deleted conversation between the two of them coz it was both necessary because YES and also because it suddenly made Charles' entire conversation and reason for his decision to sell Mercury make sense (ie. was pretty pivotal).

I big A adored Charles and Liza's conversation (and outfits and aesthetic overall) as they're leaving the retreat, the shift in Charles is palpable and it's just such a credit to the writing and acting to be able to convey so much in such a brief scene. Maggie of course experienced quite the shift herself, from ceiling to floor, with a sufficient amount of dangling as her helpful neighbourly pervert got himself off as she got herself down. But most importantly, Maggie got her mojo back (though is she not currently dating Beth? In which case location of missing mojo: unclear).

Now I gotta tell you, the final scene of this week's ep up and got me. Big time. Kelsey's earlier comment, that she really hates competing with Charles, certainly added weight to the resolution we've all been waiting for this season. Charles' honesty about his realisation that he is hurting his family, not to mention him confirming that he means Kelsey, Diana and Liza and that he wants to come home, ugh, my insides are gooey just writing these words, leads to his offer to Kesley and honestly, the interactions between all of them in this scene was wonderful. I loved that Kelsey held the room, that Charles was putting the offer to her from one businessperson to another (though thank goodness Diana was there to point out the difference between $1 and $1000000 eek! Also, I get that it would never occur to anyone that the price would be $1 so I'll cut Kels some slack). Diana looks like she is going to cry at any moment from elation and I love the way Kelsey asks for the approval of the ladies before shaking Charles' hand. This will forever be one of my favourite scenes on this show.

The thought of Charles coming back and working as an editor alongside Liza is an actual dream. I mean, I am very happy to be taken on the journey the writers set, but I have legit wondered what it would be like to see him in that role and he and Liza working together properly as equals and I absolutely cannot believe it's going to happen.

Well this ended up being quite a bit longer than I expected (lol, what a surprise). Bring on episode 7!

*I will not in fact be sending Ashley Skidmore a houseplant because I live in a very far away country, it would cost a lot of money and it is 1000% creepy to receive a dead plant from a stranger.

#youngertv #younger tv #recap #6x06 #liza miller #charles brooks #diana trout #kelsey peters #ramble #younger season 6

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head-and-heart · 6 years

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The 100 Highlights - “Exit Wounds” (5x06) ... 2.0

Hi guys. So some of you may be reading this title in mild confusion right now because “didn’t she already do a highlight post for 5x06?”

And you would be right! I did, indeed, create a highlights post for this episode that you can view here. And I would be lying if I said it didn’t bring me some level of satisfaction in posting it, but - alas - it does not really fit the purpose of this series in the first place ... which was to spur positivity within the fandom for whenever we experience another inevitable meltdown.

My initial purpose of starting this series was, ironically enough, exactly for episodes like 5x06 - the episodes that fandom despises. I did a highlight post for 4x04 last year, another episode many people did not enjoy, in an attempt to put a more positive spin on it and lift the moods of people in fandom. My motivation for creating this series was mostly in the attempt to preserve the sanity of myself and the fandom as a whole.

So, forgive my petty crackpost. While I had my fun with it, it was always my intention to do another, more serious list of highlights for the episode when I gathered up the energy to do a rewatch.

So here it is. The new and improved (????) list of my favourite parts of 5x06:

People of Wonkru, hello and welcome to the 100th annual Hunger Games. I have to say, I did appreciate my wife, Charmaine Diyoza’s homage to THG. She grew up in the early 2000′s, she knows what’s up. Dropping a bunch of parachutes from the sky full of rations? Now that’s a power move. A woman after my heart.

“Two missiles and this war would be over.” “And then what? How many of our people are farmers? How many are engineers?”

Seriously CHARMAINE IS SO SMART. She’s not rash, she’s calculating. And she doesn’t fight needless battles. She isn’t here to kill, she’s here to take the valley. But she’s also willing to negotiate peace in order to reach her goals - she isn’t irrational, and she isn’t cruel. Never have I ever rooted for an “antagonist” on this show more. Every episode she just gets more likable and more relatable. She says everything I’m thinking, I swear.

“In war the greatest victory is the one that requires no battle.” I don’t think there has been a person in power on this show who has ever verbalized such a thing. It’s no wonder Kane is siding with Diyoza. Even if Octavia wasn’t such a tyrant, how could he resist teaming up with the one person who actually practices what he’s been preaching for all these years?

“We’re the only thing that can defeat us.” Why does this line feel like foreshadowing?

Okay, I have to take a moment to scream (again) about how aggressively into Gaia’s look I am. Damn girl. No idea how you bleached your hair down there but good on you. Good. On. You.

“Gina at Mount Weather. Ilian in the conclave. Me, on that damn cliff.”

Listen. I fucking cheered at that line. I cheered. And I don’t think I have ever cheered for Octavia in anything she has ever done, or said, since maybe Season 2. I am not an Octavia fan. I’ve been pretty vocal about that, but this is one of the few moments during the series in which I could actually understand and empathize with her, because in this episode she voiced everything that the audience has been thinking AND. IT. WAS. SO. VINDICATING.

First of all, shout out to my girl, Gina Martin. You were the realest, and you deserved better. RIP. I don’t think it is actually possible that I could ever dislike any line that acknowledges her.

Second of all, Marie SLAYED the delivery of this line. Her voice actually breaks when she references Echo almost killing her in 4x04. I was trying to place what it was about Octavia in this scene that I liked and I realized: she may be swinging a sword, but that is not Blodreina talking. Underneath that armour is Octavia. And, judging by the way she clutches her stomach, she can still feel the wounds inflicted on that day on the cliff. Now, however, it isn’t Echo who is holding the sword: it��s Bellamy. This isn’t Blodreina holding up a facade to maintain her power; this is Octavia expressing real pain. And I may not agree with how she treats her brother, but this is perhaps the one case in which her argument is completely, and totally valid.

I don’t know if Marie clutching her stomach like that, right where the scar would be, was an acting choice or a directing choice but I really liked that small detail.

“Why are we even doing this? So your sister can go to war? What happened to us being the good guys?” Thank you, my precious Monty, for being the light this world needs. Now go ditch Wonkru and join up with my wife Charmaine.

Listen, I cannot describe how initially soothed I was when I heard Niylah’s accent. Finally, someone seeking out my girl Clarke! It felt like old times (and this is coming from someone who never used to give two shits about Niylarke, if I’m honest). *sigh*

“I’m sorry. It’s just, everything’s so different.” God, my heart BROKE for Clarke so many times during this episode. I feel so much for her and it’s just SO easy to connect with her this season. She’s definitely my favourite character after the time jump, thus far, and I’m loving every second that we get of her.

I already said that I never really cared much for Niylarke but giving her that black panther was CUTE. Sue Me.

“You saved our lives, again. Thank you by the way.” “That wasn’t me; that was Bellamy.” First of all, my girl is getting the acknowledgement she deserves. Second of all, I will take my crumbs - thank you very much.

I’m not going to lie: The 100 can disappoint in many ways, but the soundtrack never does. Tree Adam’s score was slaying the game in this episode, especially in the scene with Niylah and Clarke. That track was beautiful. It had the perfect amount of softness and nostalgia and melancholy and I loved it.

“How do you explain the sun to someone who’s never seen it?” This line was so eery and creepy HOLY shit. But I loved it, even as much as it broke my heart to realize that the one person who sought Clarke out in this episode was only using her for information.

“I can still tell when you’re lying.” dark!Niylah - I never knew I would be so intrigued.

“Gaia, what are you doing?” “Protecting the last true natblida, as my order has always done.” BA DUM TISS

That plot twist ... I have to admit that I honestly did NOT see that coming. I was sure that Gaia was shoved straight up Octavia’s asshole. I cannot express how much gratification it brings me to know that Gaia was playing her the entire time. As Murphy would say, “that’s a survivor’s move.”

“I’m not the one you should be afraid of.” Seriously, the story potential this twist opens up for Clarke, Gaia, Octavia, and Madi is just OFF the charts. I cannot wait to see where this goes.

The entire interaction between Gaia, Niylah, and Clarke was simply fascinating. Three woman who I didn’t know I needed to interact this much.

“I don’t enjoy seeing you suffer, John.” “Then why’d you leave me.” I’ve never been a diehard Memori stan (just casually enjoyed it) but goddamn this episode was prime angst material for them. I have such a weakness for angst, my friends.

“You didn’t need me anymore. You were always off doing your own thing with Raven.” “SO WHAT?” YOU TELL HIM EMORI

“When we were on the ring, I was part of something bigger than myself. I didn’t know I needed that, but I did. And you punished me for it.” This is my favourite version of Emori, guys. Remember when we all thought that Emori died off-screen before S5 aired because there was no BTS of Luisa? I’m so glad we were wrong. Her story this season has been absolute fire. A prime example of natural character development following a time jump ... *ahem*

“A spy and a murderer ... with a conscience. You’re right Bellamy, she has changed.” I SCREAMED at Marie’s delivery of this line. It was just ... so on point you guys.

That shift transition from ***** *** (I can’t type it out - this is supposed to be a HIGHLIGHT post) to Clarke packing ... with the same music playing. aasqkqisnsksks I ain’t gonna say a word

“Six years is a long time. Octavia is not the girl from the stories I told you.” Madi’s hero worship is mildly cute but indulging it can’t possibly lead to anything good. I really appreciated this line. And I don’t blame Clarke one bit for feeling like she needs to leave.

“If anything happens to me ...” Give me a moment to recover. I’m Triggered.

But seriously that Madi x Clarke scene was just so beautiful and emotional and heartbreaking. Eliza is slaying the game. and why does lola’s face remind me so much of bellamy in THAT scene y’all know the one. the resemblance is real i said what i said

Clarke looking over to ***** ******* like a wounded puppy ... for the second episode in a row. I AIN’T GONNA SAY A WORD

“W h a t?” THE PAIN IN HIS VOICE i’ll take my crumbs

“No, YOU don’t understand.” GO OFF CLARKE !!! Also, WHO’S READY FOR HAKELDAMA 2.0

BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW HE STILL HELPS HER FIND MADI WITHOUT EITHER OF THEM NEEDING TO SAY A WORD EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE IN THE MIDST OF A FIGHT BECAUSE EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ANGRY THEY ARE STILL EACH OTHER’S PERSON AND GOD HELP ME SIX YEARS CANNOT CHANGE THAT AND I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE

^^^ THIS SCREENCAP RIGHT HERE OFFICER

“On me.” *sigh* it almost feels like old times

Bellarke kicking down a door = hawt

I stan one (1) power couple

Is anyone gonna talk about the Kara Cooper/Echo parallels? Cause, like, they’re Real fam

I cannot express how much I loved that they showed Madi reacting to having her hand slit open realistically. Like that girl is trying so hard not to show pain but she FEELS it, and she was whimpering. Like, damn, I felt that. Lola did such a good job showing how a child would realistically react to that happening.

Not to be That Person. But. Bellamy’s hair game marginally improved in his scenes with Clarke. I only know Truth.

THE SLOW-MO OF CLARKE RUNNING TOWARDS MADI AS OCTAVIA’S VOICE ECHOES IN TRIGADESLENG. Y’ALL ARE COMING FOR MY LIFE THAT WAS SO CREEPY AND COOL

“I understand why you lied Clarke. You were just trying to protect her. But Madi no longer needs your protection - she has mine.” I LOVE antagonist Octavia. Seriously. I’m so happy they decided to go the villain origin story route for her, it just makes her so much more interesting. AND SHE’S SO DAMN CREEPY

“I executed traitors. And I made it look like a real defection.” Okay, okay, okay, so was shooting the defectors cold-blooded as shit? Yes. But was it smart? YES. I think Octavia is a bad person but damn girl. Dammmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnn.

Don’t come for my life but I HONEST TO GOD ENJOYED OCTAVIA IN THIS EPISODE. And not because I like her as a person but because she made sense to me with pretty much every move she made. And I’m not used to that feeling with her.

Echo hiding the piece in Karina’s wound. F u c k i n g hell mate. AND WHAT WAS THAT LOOK AT THE END. I dunno but I’m intrigued.

Sooooooo in case y’all were wondering. I do think 5x06 holds up better on rewatch (as most episodes do). Not all of the episode was bad, as my initial highlight crackpost made it out to be - there were still some good moments. I thought the last ten minutes of the episode were particularly strong, and to be honest all the stuff with Clarke and Memori was A+++. So, definitely not bad all around. And it has a good set-up for the episodes to follow which I am genuinely looking forward to.

Hope you enjoyed this newly revised highlight post! I’ll see ya in a week for 5x07.

#the 100 #the 100 highlights series #antibecho #antiecho #kinda?#people are sensitive #posts by moi

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funkymbtifiction · 7 years

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How can one differentiate between a function in the lead position versus a grip episode? I’d like to see a Ti example, because I type ISTP and I’ve read all the Inferior Fe posts by the INTP, but I can’t relate at all to anything described there. Sure there’s the Se/Ne factor, but experiencing Fe like that on a constant basis is still too foreign of a concept to me.

A lot of ISXPs mistype as INXJ types. It’s very common, because they have just enough Ni to make it noticeable in their life (and to fascinate them with it), and then they assume it’s higher up.

The real Ni-type is a dominant perciever, sometimes who makes the mistake of making everything in the external world “fit” into their perception of reality, or whatever their grand vision is for their life. Ni-dom is a continual rumination on future events, on unseen patterns, and on the “deep inner meaning” behind that which is evident. The Ni-dom rarely shows this to other people, in part because these symbols and ideas are difficult to translate into words, and in part because they belong to the Ni, and are private.

It still comes out, though, sometimes in their conversations, their assessment of people, situations, and future events, and in their perception of reality. The danger in Ni-dom is ultra-oversimplification; stripping something down to its core and assuming they have THE truth, the ultimate truth, then, in an unhealthy Ni, trying to make this one truth universal, the answer to all the world’s problems.

You see this a little bit in Ayn Rand, who seems to assert that capitalism is “the answer” to many of society’s problems (here, her Ni has chosen that as its single thing, and it makes logical and productive sense to her Te, so she hangs her hat on it); and, to a worse degree, in Adolf Hitler, who (in an ultra-simplified paraphrase) irrationally decided that Jews were the scourge of the earth and if you could only get rid of them, that would fix everything wrong with humanity. It also surfaced in President Obama, who pushed ObamaCare as a “fix it” to a lot of social problems within America, then was a bit surprised when that wasn’t a big enough band-aid to fix everything, and things continued to get worse.

The pro of being a Ni-dom is you can look forward, and if you have enough life experience and access to Se (which can give you objective information), you can be a highly perceptive and often correct “guesser” of what will happen; the downfall is that you can perceive reality in an unrealistic way, and then be caught off guard when it doesn’t match up with your expectations; and you can run the risk of getting lost inside your own delusions or visions. That’s the pro, and the problem, and most people wander in between the two.

The mistake is in assuming an INXJ is a judging type; they’re a perceiving type, which means the “rigid, narrow-minded” stereotypes for the IXXJs are wrong; Ni’s actually are very open minded, not quick to respond to information, and open to changing their mind with additional information -- if they are healthy; it’s either when they are convinced their perception is true, or -- in an unhealthy Ni -- when they dig in their heels over an issue of ego, that they refuse to change their mind about their formerly stated opinion.

So, for a Ni-dom: life is about what is unseen, and they cannot shut it off.

It’s harder for me to capture Ti-dom, since I neither use it nor fully comprehend it beyond an abstract concept (and from what I see in my brother, who does use it), but an INTJ friend pointed out to me that the Ni-doms who profess that they “build a complex inner system in their mind, with which to explore reality” are in fact... Ti-doms.

Ni doesn’t build a complex anything; it’s a perceiving function, it simply takes in information through insight and perception, and passes it on to either Fe or Te for judgment (and those functions decide what to DO with the information).

Ti-dom is concerned with logic first, with the principles of reality, with complex... for the lack of a better world, inner algorithms and schematics that help the Ti-dom establish a perspective on reality and how it should run. I have heard it described as “an inner computer system.” I have heard Ti-doms say that to them, the world is a computer and humans are part of that computer; if they contain the right parts, they run efficiently. They enjoy studying people, because humans are the most complex system of all. But it is still a system. A system of reality. A system of logic. A system of human behavior. And humans are very cute little lab rats.

Often, Ti is looking for something to explain... everything. Stephen Hawking (who is an ENTP, btw, and not an INTJ unlike the internet suggests) would CALL it “a theory of everything.” This kind of thinking is specifically Ti and Ne, but it might shed some insight into how Ti processes information.

The good thing about Ti is that it is logical and understands how things work; it cares how things work, and much of our society relies on Ti in order to KEEP things working. The desktop you’re reading this on (or phone, or tablet, or whatever) is there because a Ti invented it, out of a deep, profound, and insightful comprehension of how it works, and how it can be made better. Same thing with the light bulb in your room. Without a Ti, we might still be using candles. The bad thing is that, in an immoral Ti, this “oh gosh, humans are such cute little lab rats” mentality can be taken so far as to dehumanize mortals and think them fun to experiment on (think of those nasty Nazi doctors, who hauled in all kinds of innocent people to “perform experiments on,” for the “greater understanding” it might provide them to the human body).

When Ti is prominent, this attitude of logical precision, accuracy, and depth exists and influences the lower functions; when Ti is subservient to other functions (namely Fe), they come first and change its focus to how it stores the information gathered by a perceiving function.

My ISFJ friend once told me, “I have a vast inner library in my head. You ask me something, I can mentally walk through the mind hall, and pull up a visual image of that moment, in order to check the details.” This, for her, is a combination of Si/Ti... with a powerful attention to detail, to memory, to subjective experience, to her impressions, guiding the little inner Ti computer humming behind the surface. I must assume, therefore, that Ti serves much the same way with Ni, but in service to intuitive perceptions, symbols, and foresight, rather than looking back through a library of mental photos.

I don’t know if that helps at all, but I hope so.

NOW, regarding grip experiences.

Because your fourth function... well, sucks, when you’re stuck in it, it’s going to become a highly immature manifestation of that function -- think the worst possible stereotype for someone with that function as their dominant, and then steer it right on past the danger sign into the ditch.

In other words, a Fe-inferior having a “grip” experience constitutes someone extremely emotional, easily offended by impersonal slights, prone to endless whining or seeking others’ approval, with a “woe is me” attitude. It involves regular outbursts, public meltdowns, temper tantrums, and enormous embarrassment when it blows over.

The higher the function, the more “mature” it should be; the more you should “have a handle” on it.

No inferior Fe grip could be mistaken for a healthy IXFJ type, because healthy IXFJ types, after their teen years, know how to deal with their emotions and articulate them in healthy ways; a healthy feeler learns, over time, which things to be upset about and which not, because they start out as somewhat sensitive. When you have intense feelings all your life, and things HURT, eventually you learn to take control, and work a little bit more with your thinking function; the same is true in reverse for thinking types -- they learn to control their thinking process better, and get more in touch with their feelings (Fi) and other’s feelings (Fe).

A good thing to do might be to ask yourself: if someone came to you for help, and you were totally yourself, the pressure was off, you had to impress no one, and nothing bad was happening in your life -- would you be more comfortable being openly supportive, hearing them out, and talking with them about how to avoid the future pitfalls of this solution, expressed in a gentle way (NiFe), or are they coming to you because they know you can help them sort through their feelings from a logical standpoint, analyze the situation, and help them see what immediate action can be taken to help resolve the issue (TiSe)?

(The gif is from Fringe, Peter - ISTP - and Olivia - INFJ. Great show. Watch it for a terrific contrast of their personalities. Olivia is far more sensitive, aware, and futuristic-minded, whereas Peter takes more risks and loves taking things apart to see how they work.)

- ENFP Mod

#intj #infj #istp #isfp #mbti #type contrast #istp x infj #infj x istp #submission

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sachiro · 7 years

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Yuuri, Victor, and the Importance of Good Communication

Victuuri Week 2017 – Day 4 – Free for All

So for today’s free for all I’d like to talk about something I haven’t heard too much about in the context I’m hoping to present it. My topic is specifically about how Victor and Yuuri are both very independent individuals and how that, combined with both of them having zero experience with serious emotional relationships, works to create miscommunications between the two of them.

To start off, I’d like to clarify what I mean when I say they’re independent. Obviously they’re both able to take care of themselves when it comes to stuff such as physical needs (like feeding themselves, etc). I’m talking more about how they’re emotionally independent. They’re both the kind of people who keep their problems to themselves and try to solve them all without relying on the help of others. They both actually tell us this directly.

We see this come up a bunch during the series even though both are aware that they do this. You can see it happen as early as episode 2 when Victor is hurt that Yuuri is rejecting him after the connection he felt they had at the banquet but never brings it up with him. Instead he sits on and stews in it. And likewise for Yuuri, he’s very confused as to why Victor is there at all and is being so forward with him but never asks him why. He just comes to his own conclusions and treats them as the truth until proven otherwise.

On top of them both being used to handling their problems on their own and internalizing their worries, they both also have no experience with deep emotional love relationships. I use the adjectives deep, emotional, and love to describe the relationship because you can have any other combination of those and have it not really touch the depth and type of relationship these two have with each other. They may have had other relationships but none that came close to this level.

(More under the cut, you’re not done yet!)

At this point you might be thinking, yeah I can see that with Yuuri because it’s stated he’s never been in a relationship, but what about Victor? We don’t actually hear anything about his past relationship(s) other than the fact that they exist so where are you pulling this assumption from? My answer to those questions can be found in a couple of places.

Firstly, here in episode 2:

It always struck me how easily he was able to talk about his past lovers. I do realize that he was trying to hit on Yuuri as well as breaking the ice by offering similar information about himself in an attempt to get Yuuri to reciprocate but is anyone really able to talk about past relationships so flippantly? He barely knows Yuuri and yet he’s excitedly jumping in to tell him information that would normally be considered much more personal. When you think about it, you realize that perhaps he doesn’t hold this information as close to his heart as you would think someone who had experienced deeper emotional relationships would.

So that lends evidence to the idea that he didn’t feel his past relationships were personal enough experiences to keep between his previous partners and himself. Either that or he was planning to filter what information to tell Yuuri.

But that brings me to my second point right here, in episode 7:

With the episode 2 example you could argue for some leeway in interpretation but for me episode 7 sealed the deal. When it came down to Yuuri’s anxiety-ridden breakdown, the only thing Victor could think of to do to comfort his crying boyfriend was to kiss him. Arguments in healthy relationships should not just be settled by sexual contact. Sexual comfort only works as a distraction and doesn’t actually solve any of the problems that would have led to their being a meltdown in the first place.

I always got the impression that Victor here was relying on some kind of past experience when he made this offer. Perhaps this was the only way he was able to get partners to stop crying in the past. To me that only speaks of relationships that were both unhealthy and that Victor himself was not as emotionally invested in. My reasoning for claiming the second is that if he was as emotionally invested into those relationships as he is with his and Yuuri’s then the situations would have more likely played out more like this one did and he would have learned how to handle the situations differently. Instead he offers up the only idea he has: physical/sexual comfort. I think it speaks to how much he does care for Yuuri that he doesn’t just go ahead and do it but that he asks him first.

So that was a lot of words to establish the idea that neither Yuuri nor Victor have much if any experience in the kind of relationship they are establishing with each other. Now let’s look at how that ties in with them being so emotionally independent.

The most important thing in any kind of relationship is good communication.

I absolutely cannot stress this enough. This means letting your partner(s) know when something is wrong or when your boundaries are being pushed. It means allowing them to see a more vulnerable side of yourself for the sake of making things better for the both of you. It also means talking about the positive things, like what makes you happy and what you enjoy. Open channels of communication are always a good thing even if you don’t necessarily like all the words that are said.

What I love most about watching the evolution of Victor and Yuuri’s relationship is seeing how they stumble through things while trying to figure out what a relationship is when neither actually have a solid base of previous experience to pull from. For them their biggest issue is communication, especially when one of them is worried about something. They fall back on what they’re more comfortable with, that being to deal with the issues on their own, instead of relying on this new relationship to support them. They’re not used to having a second person that is close enough and can be trusted to be just as invested in their well-being as they are.

We see this problem come to a head a couple of times during the course of the series. The first time is episode 7’s parking garage scene. That argument spawned from a mixture of Yuuri being worried about his performance in respect to how his messing up might affect Victor’s reputation and Victor being worried about how anxious Yuuri is and what he can do to help him. However, neither just straight up tried to talk out the issue. Instead they came to their own conclusions and then tried to act on them. In the end, both of those issues came up in conversation regardless but due to how the situation was let to fester on both ends, it exploded and became a more emotionally charged moment than a calm one like the beach conversation in episode 4.

The hotel scene, more than any other scene in the entire show, is also a perfect example of what I’m talking about. They had both been stewing on these things for an entire year. But neither found themselves able to just open up enough to tell their partner with their words what their worries were and they ended up just exploding out. Mind you, it started out as much less of an outward explosion than the parking garage but it was just as much of an emotionally charged moment. In the end it didn’t matter how much they tried to handle their problems on their own because, just like in episode 7, their worries both came pouring out anyway; Yuuri had been stressing over retiring and Victor had made the choice to stay Yuuri’s coach for as long as he’ll have him.

In contrast to these examples of poor communication, they do actually have moments where they talk on good emotional wavelengths. A scene that was mentioned earlier, the beach scene, is a perfect example. Although it took Yuuri internalizing his problems (again) and Victor chasing him down until he was cornered to actually get them to that point, they did indeed have an open 2-way conversation. And that conversation is a perfect example of what healthy communication looks like in a relationship.

To sum up what my overall thought are on the whole thing, I think it’s amazing to be able to watch these two very independent individuals try to feel their way through a relationship that neither have much experience in. They’re relying on nothing but their feelings, intuition, and each other to learn how to better support and care for one another. And while they’ll certainly have snags along the way, as we’ve seen, each new experience will only work to build their relationship stronger. I’m just happy we get to see such a realistically portrayed love relationship in a series this amazing.

So at the end of the day, even if you’re used to being emotionally independent and solving things on your own, you can learn from Yuuri and Victor’s mistakes. Just remember, communication is always the key.

A special thank you to @rinmatsuoka for the awesome suggestions and help with sorting out my thoughts! :D

#yuri!!! on ice #yuri on ice #meta #yoi meta #VictuuriWeek #victuri #yuuri katsuki #victor nikiforov #my meta #my post #day 4 #prompt: free for all

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