#yeah I'm fuckin done bro

[imwritesometimes]

the whole ~omg I don't want to have to watch 1 or 2 episodes of bobf to be caught up with mando~ argument doesn't exactly hold up if the same person will literally watch 30 movies to be caught up with marvel shit....

#I don't like the whole 'you gotta watch em all' bullshit grind either but like I guess it just DOESN'T make sense to me cause #I ONLY watched the bébé centeic eps of bobf. did not watch anything else. it wasn't exactly hard to make sense of #even only watching like..... 2 eps. #to me that's not even that bad like you don't even have to watch the whole series......... #now if they have 8 dif star wars shows and you have to watch all of em to keep up #yeah I'm fuckin done bro #but idk. in its current form. seems like a week argument. #ESP coming from ppl still defending marvel and saying there is no such thing as marvel burnout like lol ok sure jan #not sure how to tag this one as I don't really want it in offical tags but I don't want it just floatin out there #for ppl who don't want to see anything abt this subject matter 😞 #fuck it I can always delete the post I guess idk I just don't want to invite..... the clownery...... #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #erin explains it all #don't. read. online. reviews. for shit. you like. ever.

[meow-moment]

i bet if walter white had tumblr hed be like "i am the one who blogs haha"

4 notes

🔮 purple-queen Follow

just got a beautiful ring from the store, can't wait to show it off here!

#my purchases #marie speaks

12 notes

🌶️ capncook

finally scored a new job can i get a hell yeah. back to making stacks dawg

5 notes

🪨 hankschrader4 🔁 flynwyte Follow

🏎️ flynwyte Follow

HELP A DISABLED TEEN'S FATHER AFFORD CANCER TREATMENT!

I didn't want to have to make this post, but deadlines are closing in and I don't have many options left.

My name is Walter White Junior, and my father was recently diagnosed with cancer. He's been battling for a few months now, and he wants us not to worry about him, but he can't keep pulling money out of nowhere. I've done the math, and I've estimated that he needs $12k to afford all the treatment he needs.

Any donations are appreciated! You can donate directly at my website, or donate on p@yp@l, under the username flynwyte.

407/12,000

(do not tag as donation!)

#donation

747 notes

💲 sponsored

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👨🏾‍💼 gustavo-fring

I am pleased to announce that we have finally hired a new social media intern.

22 notes

🐓 los-pollos-hermanos Follow

yo yo yo whaddup chicken lovas!!! were bringin back the 2-for-1 honey mustard wings combo, with that signature taste you cant help but love! get it today, bitches!

🏎️ flynwyte Follow

60 notes

🔮 purple-queen Follow

okay, you know what? No. I'm sick of this. Kleptomania is a valid mental disorder, and if i have to explain to you why, then i will.

Read More

#marie speaks #rant

106 notes

🌶️ capncook

bored on the job man its got me thinkin...

#vent post #delete later

2 notes

👊 2co Follow

i can't say shit around my grandpa bro. i make a comment about the lakers one time and its 😤🛎️🛎️🛎️😤🛎️🛎️😤😤🛎️��️🛎️🛎️🛎️ im fuckin SICK OF IT!!

0 notes

🐓 los-pollos-hermanos Follow

i miss her so much man...

#vent post #delete later

17 notes

🐓 los-pollos-hermanos Follow

We would like to apologize for our social media intern's mistake. As a token of our apology, we are offering a 10% discount on any chicken order if you mention this post. Have a finger-lickin' day!

14 notes

🧪 h31s3nb3rg Follow

I am the one who blogs haha

#heisenposting

1,250 notes

😺 meow-moment

Who said that

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript -

Gabriel : *heavy breathing and grunting* Bastard. 

Useless bucket of bolts. Yeah, you better run!

Load back to your- Ah shit, that was hard. Load back to your little checkpoint.

Yeah, go ahead. Go P rank the other levels. 

Oh… I’m sorry. Can-can-can I? Excuse me, can I help you?

Columbo : Oh, uh, hi there. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.

Uh, I’m looking for somebody. 

Uh, Gabriel is it? Is that you? Is that who I’m lookin for?

Listen, I just gotta say, you did an amazing job uh… Fighting off that uh. 

What’d ya-what’d ya call it?

Uh, you called it a… 

Gabriel : A mere object?

Columbo : That’s right. A mere object. 

Phenomenal work. 

I gotta tell ya. Robots, I don’t trust em myself. 

Ya know, I had-I had this one episode where uh, there was this robot named Rob and uh-

Gabriel : Uh, yes. 

That’s very fascinating, but could you perhaps get on with your introduction? 

Columbo : Uh, certainly. So I’m, uh, I’m lieutenant Columbo. Uh, I’m with the LAPD. Uh, I'm in the homicide department. 

Gabriel : Homicide? You can’t kill a machine. 

Columbo : No no no! Of course not. But um… Well… Ya can certainly love one.

Gabriel : D-d-d-detective I- I don’t- I don’t know what you’re implying there with that statement!

As you can tell I… Despise machines and wouldn’t think about doing so- Loving them, I mean.

Columbo : Yes, of course uh. Absolutely, it’s completely unthinkable. 

Except, well. While I was- while I was over here and I opened this door and uh fourteen- fourteen V1 body pillows fell out. Along with a buncha the plushies. 

Uh, and I just can’t imagine how ya- how ya happened upon something like that by accident.

It’s a little ridiculous! Uh, frankly.

Gabriel : Uh, no no no, listen.  

Detective. I can explain, okay? 

Those belong to- uh! That guy over there! 

*Filth-like scream*

Gabriel : Yeah! A real freak! 

Some kinda pervert. I don’t know why we keep him around.

But uh, I-I have nothing to do with it. 

Columbo : Well, ya see, I would believe- I would believe that, but uh. 

It’s just that- Well we had the boys at the lab run these pillows and we found your cum- We found your DNA all over em, uh.

You’re-You’re under arrest, I’m killing you.

Gabriel : K-hah. Kill me? *laughs*

Oh detective. 

Columbo : Oh. Aw fuck.

Gabriel : I’m afraid you’ve made a grave mistake. 

Because, in fact… What is going to happen instead…

Is actually what I’m gonna- AHHHG MOTHERFUCKER

I’LL FUCKIN KILL YOU

SON OF A BITCH 

AHHG YOU BASTARD

I’LL RIP YOU APART 

PIECE OF SHIT

YOU FUCK

ASSHOLE

BITCH

*Grunting* 

Oh Shit. 

Oh. What have I done? 

V1 : Bro, tell me you didn’t just kill a fucking cop.

Gabriel : The law will be here any second now… 

Machine, flush the drugs.

V1 : No way, bro. Let’s smoke that.

Gabriel : All of it?!?

Hm… One last ride…

Well, alright.

*coughing his lungs out*

V1 : No Gabriel, holding it in doesn’t do anything!

*Gabriel continues to cough his lungs out*

End of transcription

Audio source part 1

Audio source part 2

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #alt title was: columbo interrupted their RP session #gabes reaction to someone getting in between him and v1 (or at least pillows of it) is to rip them to shreds. yeah i mean that checks out!! #the way he says 'Some kinda pervert' is so funny to me i cant stop replaying it #this took me. so long. oh my god. no post tomorrow. im not strong enough. #sanest bit of 2024 #and probably the longest bit ever. holy shit. #also he used the wrong filter for columbo here but here is my totally Canon Explanation #If they are in hell he had to become a husk.. duh.

[mockerycrow]

No cuz I'm totally having brain rot of reader and either Price or Gaz. The reader is such a control freak that they cannot justify letting anyone do anything that they don't agree with, until Price or Gaz just come in and fuckin manhandle the reader into submission or something. Bros, I... this got me feelin some type of way 😩

this is a ramble, but!!! my brain couldn’t stop. — PRICE X GN!READER!

[IMPLIED PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP + DOM!PRICE (DOM/SUB DYNAMICS). NO ACTUAL SEX BUT VERY SUGGESTIVE.]

You looked down at the unsorted papers across the desk in front of you, your nerves running high and your stomach twisting. “They never fucking listen.” You mutter, leaning down to write an edit to your newly formatted plan. You had suggested a near fool-proof plan to the team for the upcoming mission that’s happening in a week—it only had one flaw, but it was a flaw you kept insisting that could be overlooked! The building blowing up was not the worst case scenario—

You hear someone knock on the door to your barracks. “Come in!” You call without looking up from your papers. You hear your door swing open and with just hearing the hefty sound of a boot, you already know who it is. You don’t turn around as you sigh and toss the pen back down onto the papers. “John, I honestly don’t really know why you guys aren’t listening to me,” You begin to ramble. “Yes, a building blowing up is bad but is it the worst? I feel as if there’s other bad things that could happen, worse than the building blowing up—“

You gasp as you feel his warm body press against yours. His ungloved hand comes around and gently cupping your throat as his other hand grabs your hip and pulls your hips flush against his, making your head go fuzzy and your words stutter into a stop. Your eyelids flutter shut as you feel him press a kiss to your scalp before he leans in your ear. “Yeah, there you go. All settled down for me now, hm?” John murmurs, amusement lacing his tone.

You shiver when his breath hits your ear, and you feel your heart pounding in your chest. Your lips part for you to speak but you quickly stop when John’s hand squeezes your throat in warning, making a pathetic whimper leave your lips, making him chuckle. It makes your face burn. “I think you’ve been worrying too much, sweetheart,” John retorts, making you lean over the desk, keeping his hips connected to yours. It’s taking every bone in your body to not roll back against him. “Thinking too much. It’s time to change that, don’t you think?”

You nod obediently, so instinctively in fact that you don’t even notice you’re agreeing with him. Your head spins, he lets go of your throat, and then moves his hand to the back of your neck—pressing your face into the desk. Your breathing stutters when his boot knocks your legs apart and the excited groan that leaves you is nothing less than desperate when John presses his crotch against you once more.

He hums in approval and one of his hands grabs your arm, pinning it to the flat of your back. John’s other hand grabs your hip and easily rocks you back against his cock, making your lower body melt. You must’ve made a noise that you don’t remember making, because you hear John tsk and squeeze your hip with a low voice saying, “Words, darling.”

Your eyebrows furrow for a moment as your lips part and all that comes out is a garbled, “please”. John laughs and moves his hand from your hip to your leg, lifting it and forcing you to put it on the table, exposing your clothed crotch to him—you don’t even whine about the crinkled papers, especially because you know by the time John’s done with you, they’ll be completely ruined. “Good pet.”

#call of duty #call of duty mwii #cod mw2 #cod #mw2022 #mw2 2022 #modern warfare ii #price x reader #john price x reader #captain john price x reader #price x gn!reader #captain john price x gn!reader #john price x gn!reader #captain john price #price cod #captain price mw2 #price smut #price call of duty #john price #cod price #captain price x reader #price mw2 #captain price #mw2 #mwii #cod mwii #mw2 x reader #cod modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare #crow’s thoughts

[fushigurro]

sometimes i think about how it must've felt to be toji—no cursed energy, put through the absolute fuckin wringer because of it, tries to get away and be free just to have a kid who gets the damn prized technique

luck like that just makes you feel so goddamn pissed and beat down by the entire universe. a dead wife, a kid that ties you back to the shitty family you can't seem to get away from... obv not an excuse for wild behavior but like you can see why an individual might make some choices lmfao

of course he shut it all down mentally/emotionally. of course he reverted back to some self-preservationist ways. there's only so much you can take sometimes before you're like "oh yeah what was my kid's name again?" because you trick yourself into not caring enough to remember. lowkey been there done that myself and i haven't even been through the same shit as him. bro had to fight for his life just because he was born different so that's his fucking default

i just. imagine the pain and anger that has to be expunged somehow because you aren't allowed (and don't know how) to be vulnerable. but the little bits of love and kindness that once touched you still surface in the final moments. like FUCK dude i'm not a "lovergirl" but goodness and kindness is everything and it cycles forward

#i mean there are LIMITS don't break your back for people that'll take advantage of it #and don't take unnecessary shit etc. etc. #but one moment full of love can change everything #anyways. this is not New or Revolutionary i'm just thinking about him #jesus christ i love fushiguros. i'm fucking ill #rambles. #re: toji fushiguro

[sk3tch404]

Late Night Hanma Blurb

A/n: Thought abt this during an itty-bitty road trip today. Smoker Hanma does smth to the chemicals in my brain. Forgive me for any lengthy bad writing. I've had a long day and I just wanna yip yap about one of my fav crazies 🙇

CW: Hanma can give two shits about your lung health but chooses not to when he feels like it, intimidation, threats of forced drug usage, sometimes forced participation in violent activities, thoughts of lovers suicide/murder(?), and whatever other yappin I put in here.

Hanma who smokes a fuck ton and doesn't mind giving you the good ol' second-hand effects of it, but absolutely detests you doing it on your own.

He snatches the stick from your mouth and holds it up and away from you with a small grit in his teeth. Hanma glares down in some curiosity but clearly squints in irritation.

"The hell is this? Don't tell me I'm being a bad influence on you now. If I catch you with one of these again, I won't let you off the hook so easily. You got it, Y/n?"

When you retort, telling him it's no different from when he does it and it is your own choice whether he likes it or not, he merely scoffs with a tilt of his narrow head. Throwing down the cigarette, the sound of his sneaker stomping and scraping it out against the pavement echos through the air with an annoying presence. Shuji demands the rest of your stash with a looming stare that can only put you into a state of sinking discimfort.

"Come on, don't be stubborn. Ya know, if you wanna do it so bad, why don't you try the whole pack? Mine too since it's a shitload better than that cheap stuff."

Reluctant on suffocation and early lung cancer, you begrudgingly hand over your smokes to him. Hanma smacks down on the box with an evidently loud shot of noise and slides it out of your palm. He pockets it with a stretched smile as he leans down towards you.

"See, now it ain't so hard to listen."

He's still ticked off by the fact you think you can do whatever to your body without his permission, but since Shuji is so generous, he'll let you learn from your mistakes. See, he can be nice.

Don't test him though. Next time you're caught defying his selfish wishes, he's beating you down with degrading language and probably also beating whoever was involved. The convenience store employee that sold you the cigs, vape, or maybe even chewing tobacco? Yeah he's taking out his held back frustration on them. Bro is jumping over the counter and tearing their shit up.

Avoiding him because of his brutal and honest-to-God psychopathic personality? Now that's just cruel. Shuji is dragging your ass by the back of your shirt and pushes you to his motorcycle. The leopard print on the back of the bike makes you wanna barf every time you see it, but you got to keep it down if you wanna have enough energy to deal with him. He'll take you out no matter where you are at in that point of time and make you remember who he is; who you think you're messing with.

"Y/n, how many times do I have to tell you? Aim for the nose. That's easy for amateurs like you. Actually, lemme show you how to really deliver a jaw breaker-"

Yeah, he'll show you just how bad it can get with some random thugs on the street. You should be grateful with how gentle he's treating you. Instead of ending up with facial fractures, you have nice dates and thoughtful gifts. He's even teaching you a few tricks. How lucky can you get?

"I'm all done. Shit, I'm starved. Let's go grab a bite to eat, kay?"

Hanma thinks the only way you'll ever keep paying attention to him is if he keeps you and your actions in line. If you go off doing your own thing, his usually unmoving heart can't just stand there and watch you slowly leave him. Despite the negativity be brings into your life, he actually gets really fuckin anxious when he doesn't know or understand what you're doing. It's so troublesome how you make him feel. Yeah, being bored as shit is bad, but seeing you, the only thing that could ever bring him down to his knees unwillingly, slip away with nothing but disdain for him? Fuck no. He won't accept it. Shuji would rather kill you and then himself than have to bear the strange feeling of pain, or what other people call heartbreak, by his lonesome self.

Should he ever say he loves you, that would be the point of no return for the both of you. His hands have you tight in his clutches. No way out, no way back in for anyone else.

#yandere #x reader #yandere blog #male yandere #yandere x reader #yandere tokyo revengers #yandere tokyo revengers x reader #yandere tr #tokyo revengers fandom #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tr #hanma #hanma shuji #yandere hanma shuji #hanma x reader #yandere hanma x reader #tbh i kin him but like in some aspects #so naybe thats likeeee why hes emo at the end #BUT EYYYY DID I COOK OR DID I BLOW TS UP?? #😔😔 #well i think it came out better than I expected #been in a writing mood for a while #ig all the reading got me doin flips n shit now #gave me confidence n direction too if #ig** #ehehe #dont lemme wake up n lemme see some ass writing #im actually gonna pray dude #🙏🙏🙏

[stone-stars]

Transcript:

[Bahumia theme fades out.] Murph: WELcome back to (laughing) Bahumia, everybody! Emily, Jake, and Caldwell, while audibly smiling: Ba-hu-mia! [Emily and Caldwell laughing] Murph: Right before we stared recording, Emily started saying "yaaaw, king"? [Jake and Caldwell laugh.] Emily: Well, I was like "yaw", what's that from? And then everyone said it's yaas queen. Or something. Murph: Yeah, it's half of yaas queen, I guess. [Emily laughs.] Caldwell: Right, but this one's for the kings. Emily: Sounds like something else. Yaaw. Jake: Yeah. Murph: And then it morphed into "yaaw, king." Caldwell: Yaw, king, yaw! Emily: Are you sure this isn't it's own thing? Yaw. Murph: I'm sure! Yes, somebody, saying "yeah" in a funny way? [Emily laughs.] Jake: Yaw? Murph: I'm sure it's been done a billion times in a-- Jake: Yaw, I've heard it befoaw. [Emily laughs harder. Caldwell also laughs.] Caldwell: It's kind of like, yeah, when you are like, getting a horse to gallop or something, you go "yaw! yaw!" like that? Emily: Ohhh. Caldwell: So maybe it's like when you're gassing up your king, you're like: "yaw, king!" Emily: Yaaw. Murph: There's definitely a very famous comedy bit I'm sure (laughing) that we're not thinking of right now. [Everyone laughs.] But it's-- Emily: Forgive me! I was trying to get this out before we recorded. Caldwell: Oh, yeah. Murph: Yeah, but then everyone kept laughing while I was trying to do the intro! [Emily and Caldwell laugh.] Jake: It bled in. Yaw. Murph: And it had to be addressed! 'Cause everyone was smiling and laughing as I started. Jake: Yaw. It did. Yaw. Murph: Yeah. I could hear the smile in your Bahumias. [Emily laughs harder.] I could hear it. And the audience needs things explained, okay? We can't just do things out of context. Caldwell: I can't believe that everyone's forgetting about Dane Cook's famous "yaw" bit. Murph: Yeah. Emily: I-- It honestly could be. Murph: Who knows. Literally who knows. Murph: Yeah, I don't know which one's right. Caldwell: Yeah. Oh, wow. Murph: I don't know which one's right. Emily: Do we really want to open this can of worms? Murph: Do we want to get into this? Emily: No, let's keep the-- [Indistinct from crosstalk] Murph: Yaw. Yaw. Jake: Yeah, strike this from the record! Emily: Naw. Caldwell: Naw king, naw. Murph: And then of course we've got Emily Axford-- Murph: And then of course we've got Caldwell Tanner! Caldwell: (crescendoing) Oooh, very worried about Calder's bro, don't want to do the intro no mo', it's Sol Bufo, let's fuckin' go! Murph: Okay! Jake and Emily: Wooow! Emily, quietly: Yaw. [Caldwell cackles.] Emily: Sorry, sorry. Murph, baffled: Your reaction was like that came out of you unintentionally. Emily: It really did. Murph: It--it was like a cough! Emily: It really did. Jake: It escaped. Murph: It escaped. Emily: It was like carbonation surfacing. Caldwell: It's fuckin'… innate to your being. Murph: Alright. Everybody control themselves we haven't even started-- Emily: I super apologize, I'm sure it's from something so obvious. Murph: Who knows? Caldwell: (laughs) it does sound like something that a video game character would say when you hit them. "Yaw." Emily: Ooooh. (laughs) Murph: (laughs) Sure. Alright, let's go ahead and do a little recap! Jake: Yaw. Murph: So last time-- (laughs) Emily: (laughs) That was Jake, not me! Murph: Sh-- Everybody shut the fuck up! [Caldwell cackles.] Emily: Jake has done a couple! Jake has had a couple! Jake, defensive: I just wanna do the recap! I was yes-anding! I was yaw-anding the recap! [Emily and Caldwell laugh.] Murph, over them: Everyone… Everyone… Everyone shut the fuck up. Alright? [A pause, the others laughing.] Last time, we began with Sol dreaming-- [fades out]

#naddpod #ba2mia #emily axford #brian murphy #jake hurwitz #caldwell tanner #some real og 8bbc energy in this naddpod intro #naddclips #'i could hear the smile in your bahumias' sent me #i knew i had to clip it lol

[normal-internet-user]

BARRIER PT: 5

♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡

Pt: 4 <-- --> Pt: 1

Summary: Leo is begining to grow increasingly suspicous of Raph's whereabouts every Friday night, so unknown to his red clad brother, he it's high time they met Raphs secret friend...

Warnings: swearing.

Requested: N/A

GN Reader!

....................................

You clicked absentmindly through the job descriptions on your laptop screen. Clicking on one of the many, 'help wanted' posts on the site, you read through the description, before sending in an application.

This is what you had been doing almost all day, scrolling and scrolling, hoping someone would reach out to schedual an interview.

After your dad had shown up at your previous job, you blocked him everywhere you knew you could, and even changed you phone number, being sure to let Raph know so he could still contact you whenever.

The two of you had grown pretty close since the day he came to your aid, messaging and chatting with eachother often.

He still visited you on the rooftop every Friday night, only now the two of you could talk face to face. It was a nice change.

You phone screen lit up, letting know you had received a message. An unknown number. Your heart dropped.

Was it your dad? Impossible. You had done everything you could to cut him from your life, there was no way in hell he found a way to contact you. It could just be a wrong number situation...

You opened the message with shaky hands, and what you read only made you even more uneasy,

Unknown: "Come to the roof."

What the fuck...?

You closed the message, and called Raph, there was no way in hell you were going up there alone.

"Hello?"

"Dude, you are not gonna believe this-"

You told him about the unknown number and the demand to meet whomever they were on the roof, and you heard him groan on the other end.

"Those idiots, I knew they were up to somethin'. Listen, don't go up there quite yet, I'll meet ya on yer fire-escape. Wait for me, ok?"

"Ok, Red. Whatever you say."

The call ended, and you let out a deep breath. Now just the waiting game...

<Raph's POV>

♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡

Where was everybody?

Sensei was meditating, but the other three were nowhere to found. Which was weird. The Lair was way too quiet, and I debated calling Leo, untill my phone rang.

(Name) was calling.

I picked up the phone, "Hello?"

"Dude, you are not going to believe this. Some random number just texted me, telling me to go to the roof."

I was silent for a moment, before my brain put two and two together. Those fuckin' idiots.

"Those idiots, I knew they were up to somethin'. Listen, don't go up there quite yet, I'll meet ya on yer fire-escape. Wait for me, ok?"

"Ok, Red. Whatever you say."

I ended the call, and sighed in frustration. These nosy assholes just couldn't mind their buisness. Probably Leo's idea.

But how in the hell did they find out where (Name) lives? Donnie.

"Shit.." I mutter.

That's why Leo went to Donnie last week. He wanted to know where I've been goin'.

After around 15 minutes, I land on (Name)'s fire-escape, then send 'em a quick text to let 'em know I'm here. They open the window, sending a smile my way.

"I take it you know who's on the roof?" They said, following me up the fire-escape.

I sigh, "Yeah. It's my nosy brothers." I reply, now standing on the hard concrete, "Who can't seem TO MIND THEIR OWN BUISNESS!" I shout, making Mikey fall from his hiding place.

"Ouch! Oh- uh, hey- heeyyy, R-Raph! Wassup bro..?"

<Your POV>

♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡

You watch in surprise as Raphs younger brother falls from his place on the water tower.

The orange masked terrapin, whom you guessed was Mikey, looked guiltily at his brother, a nervous smile on his face.

Raph scowled, "I can see you, Leo."

"Welp-"

Two more turtles landed next to Mikey, albeit on their feet instead. The purple one, Donnie, and 'Fearless', as Raph called him, whom you knew was Leo.

Raph stomped over to his older brother, leaving you to stand awkwardly next to the fire-escape.

"Who do you think you are, huh? Trackin' my friend? What was your thought process there, Leo? Because not only, not only did you invade my privacy, but also theirs. They got enough goin' on without you stalkin' 'em!" Raph roughly shoved his brother backwards, and Leo scowled.

"Well maybe if you learned to communicate, I wouldn't have had to." Leo shoved past Raph, walking over to you, and you felt yourself get nervous.

Leo held an air about him. A calm and respectful one. But one that made you nervous, the way he was looking down at you reminded you a little too much of your dad.

Now don't get me wrong, you knew from Raph that Leo was nothing like your old man. He was serious, but still able to let that go and just be. Something your father could never do. But you couldn't help but connect his gaze to the one your father used whenever you were in trouble.

"Hi..." You said, waving awkwardly, "Uh- you must be Leo..."

Leo nodded, still observing you, "And you must be Raphs friend."

You nodded, smiling nervously, "Uh, yeah, I'm (Name)."

Before Leo could say another word, he was shoved to the side by a very exstatic Mikey, "Wassup, dude/tte? Name's Michelangelo!" He then turned to look at Donnie, "I cannot believe Raph was the first one of us to score a lover."

You felt your cheeks go red, "Oh, no! We're not-"

Raph cleared his throat, "Yeah, uh. We're just friends, Mikey."

You nodded, "Yeah, j-just friends."

Mikey moved his gaze between you and Raph. Once. Twice. Three times.

"Alrighty then. Well, this is Donnie!" He said, introducing his purple clad brother, "And you obviously know Raph."

Raph scoffed, "Obviously. Not like I come to see 'em every Friday night. Matter of fact, I have never met this person in my life."

That caused you to let out a laugh, and Raph mouth twitched up into a smile as the sound pulled from your lips.

Leo moved forward once more, hand out stretched for you to shake, "I apologise for the tracking and stuff. Probably a bit over-kill, I was just worried for my family."

You shook his hand and shook your head, "Nah, I get it. Your brother sneaking out every Friday to meet some stranger you don't know? I'd be worried too. Although, yeah the tracking was kinda over-kill.."

Leo nodded, looking sheepish, but he definitly wasn't as intimidating as before.

You cleared your throat, "So, you guys wanna come in?" you asked, motioning towards the fire-escape, "I can order some pizza."

"Hell yeah, Angelcakes!"

"I wouldn't mind some pizza."

"That would be very kind of you, Mx. (Surname)."

You held up a hand in Donnie's direction, "Oh no, none of that Mx. (Surname) shit. Makes me sound ancient."

With that, you lead the four brothers down into your apartment. Mentally preparing yourself for how crazy fucked up your life was about to be.

....................................

I am so so sorry for the for the long wait, I swear I'm working on this series-

@princessmads1820 @leleouwu @dilucsflame33 @pheradream15 @lazyafgurl @allybutton @muamazon4 @push-lennon-off-stage @turtle-babe83 @i-just-like-to-read @lieutenantlashfaz @m1dnyt3-w0lf @bo0tyshak3r9000 @lovelyladylavie @gremlid-the-second @caramelcandykk @phd-in-fuckery @ellie-crow @maladaptiveromantic

Goodness gracious there are so many people to tag now-

#tmnt #tmnt x reader #x reader #raphael x reader #tmnt bayverse #tmnt 2014 x reader #raph x gn reader #tmnt raph x reader #teenage mutant ninja turtles bayverse #bayverse tmnt x reader #bayverse raph #normie writes

[thesuperiorgenshinaddict]

Vox N$FW Alphabet

AN: yeah i never thought i would actually post on tumblr but boom here i am. sorry for shitty layout because i just want to pump my hcs out and get it done w/ kekw also i think i made him a bit more of an asshole than ppl usually do so sorrryyy maybe idk Pairing: Vox x GN! Reader Warnings: Sexual content, Top! Vox, Mild degradation, not sure what else idk A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Lets be honest, this dude would NOT do aftercare whatsoever. He'll just go take a shower or something (yes he's waterproof if you say otherwise you're wrong L + Ratio) and when you blankly stare at him like 'wtf bro' this dude will not catch on until you straight up tell him to help you out. Once you successfully got the dude to consistently do aftercare, he'll get you a towel and clean you up and shit.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) This man is a raging narcissist. Probably looks in the mirror, fixes his ugly ass bowtie and does twelve different practiced poses every morning to make sure the public knows he's fucking sexy. He probably loves every part of him besides his side profile, or maybe he would like it because it's 'sleek, modern, state of the art' or some technology bullshit. Loves his claws though. He'd probably be really into ass. Thighs too, but slightly less. I have no clue why but I am convinced he fucking loves legs and all of that. I think he'd like your expression too, mainly because he feels like a god knowing that he makes you feel like that. Don't do mirror sex if you want him to focus on you though, because he's looking at himself more than he's looking at you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) It glows blue. Same shade as his claws and is electric. Don't put it next to fire, it'll burn the fuckin' tower down. Tastes mildly salty and has the same effect as pineapples where it feels like it's biting back. For body parts he likes to cum on, he probably would do it literally anywhere. Inside, on the stomach, on your face, ANYWHERE. Maybe not bukkake because he doesn't want it to get too messy and have to clean it up, that's too much work for a quick jizz.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Secretly finds you attractive romantically. Is it even a dirty secret? He'd just be too scared to do anything besides flirting and sex and shit for a long time. Maybe appeal to him enough and he'll take you on a completely romantic and sweet date that doesn't involve him blowing your back out afterwards. Christ, why the fuck is that somehow more appealing than having a one-nighter with him? Maybe I'm tweaking. Ignore this if you want. Go on and live your life with sweet husband Voxxy dookers buddy, I'm not judging too hard. Probably.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) Pretty experienced. Unless you have some wild ass kink, chances are, he's probably smooth as fuck with it. Go wild.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Mating press. I originally thought I was just biased as fuck since I love the whole thought of mating press and shit, but apparently a good amount of people agree with me. He probably loves being close to you and mating press lets him fuck your brains out. Wants to be as deep as physically possible in you, and you're vulnerable to him and he's looooving it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) Definitely is leaning on the more serious side. If he's joking around, it wouldn't be in a 'haha funny' way, it'd be more of a condescending way where he's making fun of how pathetic you are. Or horny, or something along the lines of that. I feel like he'd do makeup sex, so if that's the case, I can assure you he is not cracking jokes. Maybe cracking your legs apart though. Fuck, that wasn't funny.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) No hair. No hair. No hair. No hair. No hair. No hair. No hair. No hair. No hair. No hair. No hair. He wouldn't grow hair there. Uh. Anyway, I don't want to have so little shit written here, so when he was alive, he probably was pretty well taken care of down there. I think a bit more hair than trimmed, but not the whole ass Amazon forest, ya get what I mean? Why the fuck did I say that? Okay. Regardless, I think of him being like dark brown hair when he was alive. Probably was a few shades darker on his dicky wicky cocky okay seriously I have to stop wtf

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) He'd be physically close to you, but if you're a one night stand, expect NOTHING emotional from him. Nada. Nothin'. On the other hand, if he was dating you or married or whatever your delusional ahh comes up with, he'd be just hardcore fucking you with a ton of horny ass compliments, but you'd be able to look into his eyes and just kinda tell he really loves you past all that horndog shit. Not really intimate sex for the most part imo, but if the both of you guys are in a shitty mood and it's not hate sex, he might say a few really sweet compliments and all that jazz. Fuuuuckkk I read that and he sounds kinda assholey (he is one though cope seethe /j don't get mad at me pwease) so if you're upset I half meant that in the 'he won't be bawling his eyes out during sex out of sheer love' way. Boom

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) He has cameras everywhere in Hell. Did you even think of the mere possibility that he's not jerking that shit constantly? Kidding. I feel like he'd be busy working a lot, but if you're not there to help him out after work and shit, he'd jerk it. Maybe a few times a week normally. If he had time and he was lonely though... Bro's going ham on his poor footlong. He has a lot of videos and whatever to look at. I think he'd thrive just off his imagination too.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Dry humping (receiving), Mild degradation (giving), Voyeurism, Shock play (giving, duh), Hypnosis (gee i sure wonder if it's giving or receiving woahhhhh /s), Power dynamic, I definitely have a lot more but it depends heavily on your relationship to him :p

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Desk. Now. Besides that though, he's probably fine with a lot of places. I feel like he'd be somewhat against public or semi-public sex because it could make his reputation worse, but anywhere else is fine. His office isn't really risky because he knows when people are about to enter using his lil' cameras.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) A lot of things. Many, many things. For the most part though, if you tease him by wearing some revealing shit or acting like a bitch, he's getting a hard on.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Anything that puts him in a situation where he has little to no control. He's not willing to show that much vulnerability, no matter how well you know him. You can try domming, sure, but just know he has the full ability to do a 360.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Receiving. He'll occasionally do giving, but if you start calling him your submissive bitch or something, he'll spit and fucking leave. But regardless, he shoving his dick down your throat. Face-fucking is probably his favorite. Solid 6-7/10 in terms of skill, bonus points since his tongue is long.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Definitely rough like a good 90% of the time. The pace depends on his mood, but he'd go with medium to fast for the most part. Maybe slow if he magically has a break (That'll almost never happen. Poor dude loves his work so much, probably chronically online just because of how much time he has to spend with computers). Don't piss him off though, he doesn't have a speed cap on this type of shit. Random thing I wanted to add in, his typing speed is fucking insane. 300 something and higher when he's arguing on the internet. Would definitely participate in those arguments of who's the goat of sports or whatever. Also random flex but my typing speeds at like 200 wow I'm so cool everyone clap

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) He barely has time to do anything, so quickies a lot of times end up being the only option he has to get off. Hella often. He enjoys an occasional slow sesh, but speedruns are his go-to.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) Hell fucking yes. Always willing to try new shit out as long as it's not too risky. If it won't destroy his company, he's down for it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) This dude consumes more caffeine than humanely possible. He could probably go forever if it wasn't for his job, but he'd probably settle for 4~ rounds on a normal workday. If he's feeling excited though, expect more.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Definitely owns quite a bit. Probably only his company's products though, he wouldn't want to support other businesses. I don't think he's one to use them all that often since he'll normally just call you over to suck his dick, but piss him off and he'll shove a dildo in you and leave for a few hours, just to see how long you'll last.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He's such a brat. Taunts and makes fun of you constantly. Poor you, he loves to see you overstimulated and sobbing your eyes out.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) I feel like he wouldn't be that loud himself, definitely some breathy groans and shit, but on the other hand... If you're not loud enough, he'll make sure you're screaming out his name until he's satisfied. Maybe a little glitchy sounds. Before he comes, he probably becomes a little staticky.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) Willing to fuck you with his aux cords. Would find it fun as hell, especially he can shock you easier.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) I think some of you guys don't remember that this man is 7ft. If he was human, it'd probably be around 7 inches, but he's tall as fuck. Expect it to be 9 inches minimum and probably larger. Average girth with thick veins running down the side. Pretty sure I said a good amount about it earlier.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Insanely high because he's always pent-up while working. Gets hard from the slightest bit of teasing. I have no clue what to write, but I want to write more so he's the type to get hard when he's comfortable. Cuddle with him and he's probably hard just because he's feeling cozy and shit.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He'd sleep a few minutes later, depending on how much he trusts you. If he doesn't trust you much, he's leaving to a different room. If he likes you though, he'd just go nighty-night. AN: hope you enjoyed thanks like and follow for more banger content /hj

#vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox #vox #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin vox #headcannons #headcanon #hazbin

[inmyhorrorsera]

S5E8 "The Roast" thoughts:

Ok, I watched this episode three times and I'm still smiling. I love when you think and episode is gonna be about something because of its title and then surprise you when its all a misdirection (see also: Succession's "Connor's Wedding").

At first Laszlo's err… state intrigued me, love everyone projecting and imposing their own insecurities (Guillermo's secret, Nadja's hex) as a reason on why he is behaving like that. And of course it's a stupid reason 😭.

"And a flat pepsi for Guillermo". Oh Nandor, that's the worst thing you ever done to Guillermo, that's the worst thing you could do to anyone. And yes, I remember a certain S4 episode.

I screeched like a bird when Colin mentioned dreaming about being a baby under Laszlo's care, not only because I wanted this shit to happen since the past finale, but also I really thought the episode was going on that direction (and also bc its another W for my predictions).

Having said that, LOVED the nonchalance of Nadja and the others when they were like 'no, it wasn't a dream, that totally happened'.

I mentioned it in a separate post: they really had a Sweet Dee in IASIP moment when The Guide gave the roast idea, only to be ignored and then the same idea being stolen by a dude who is celebrated.

Seanie's poor brain it should be soup at this point, we don't know if he can hazily remember the event like it happened before.

What can I remember is his line after Nadja's roast because it was one of the biggest laughs for me: "Women CAN be funny!" I fucking loved it so much, it's the perfect condescending shit straight men say all the time, even when they're trying to be complementary to you they can't stop being garbage. It was a simple line but Anthony nailed the delivery and timing. Seriously, rewatch that part.

At first I was confused why all the jokes were so mid, but shortly I realized this episode wasn't about the roast at all, lol.

Just by watching screenshots of other users I noticed that in the scene of Nandor resting his head on Guillermo's shoulder there's a BIG flame between them. LMAO. There's no way that is unintentional.

Good for The Guide being the catalyst of Baron Afanas learning the truth. I was demanding more screen time for her lately, so having some incidence in the main plot goes on the plus column.

The other guests present at the roast being shocked at the knowledge of Guillermo killing vampires surprised me; I always assumed Guillermo being a familiar/slayer was a known fact in the vampire community after his very public massacre at the Théâtre des Vampires.

Fuck yeah when I realized this is a Doug Jones spotlight episode, I just fuckin ahgdjkaksdf, love him, perfect, no notes.

The Baron being terrifying!! Guillermo was seriously scared for the others and he barely tried to show off his Van Helsing abilities.

Nandor and Nadja begging the Baron to not hurt Guillermo!! 😭 Them being dragged while grabbing the cape!! 😭 They're spiritual siblings to me!! 😭😭

They really reminded me a little bro and sis begging their mom to not hit their beloved older brother with the chancla for talking back or something.

I fell for the two fake-outs with the sack lol I'm so gullible when it comes to vampires I guess.

NANDOR PAINFUL SOUNDS (MOANS???) WHEN HE BELIEVED HE WAS IN FRONT OF GUILLERMO'S INERT BODY. IT WAS SAD BUT ALSO A LITTLE HORNY!!!

"At least he died doing what he loved: beating off in the toolshed."

A wonderful small detail: After Laszlo opened fake Guillermo with the knife he cleaned his hands on The Guide's dress.

Idc if you think its dark, the whole 'Nandor will kill you and then kill himself' bit becoming a recurring joke it's peak writing.

I wish I can say something more serious about Baron Afanas' sadness over how boring his life is now. But I just keep thinking that the way he talks about his homelife with The Sire and the Hellhound sounds exactly when a dude has a middle life crisis and suddenly he doesn't enjoy his marriage anymore. They're husbands!! And I loved how cunty he looked at the end all half-charred (see posted gif) Queen!

Now, the Nandermo of it all: What more can I say than incoherent screaming and foaming from the mouth? Episodes 8 are all about them again!! Nandor on the window looking all cliched melancholic heroine of a romance novel?? How relieved he was when he found him in the coffin??? Him still remembering Guillermo's card word for word???!! Knowing that this toxic dark sided devotion goes both ways???!!! Borrowing the words of Fleabag: THIS IS A LOVE STORY.

Seriously, I know all these soft Nandor moments are here so the heartbreak when he learns about Guillermo being turned it's even bigger. But still denying that there is a romantic undertone between these two it's just being purposely adamant at this point (i'm looking at you wwdits reddit). Even if nothing explicitly romantic happens on screen, just by watching these moments, I know, we know.

Now, go listen to the ending song again. You will not regret it.

#i wish nandermo enjoyers only good dreams tonight! #to the others sorry err for me keep winning and being right #nandermo #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #wwdits thoughts

[hunterbunter3000]

Idk if it’s been brought up yet, but I was getting ready for bed and putting my bonnet on and it dawned on me: what would the boys think when they see Sweetheart in a bonnet!?!? And you know she has like 20 different ones lmao. Soap/König would totally help her wrap her hair teehee 🤭

IM ANSWERING THIS AS QUICK AS I CAN 🏃‍♀️💨💨💨(and the fact that you thought of Sweetheart while getting ready for bed honestly makes me want to cry fr fr)

BUT YEW ARE CORRECT ABOUT SWEETS HAVING 20 BONNETS

She would call Soap in her room to help her wrap her hair and omg he would be in heaven. Her hair is so soft and smells so GOOD UGH

She would hand him the Bobby pins and tell him where to put them

Sweetheart: And put this one-- here

Sweetheart: OW-- I SAID HERE NOT MY EYEBROW

Soap: QUIT MOVIN' THEN

Then she would kick him out before putting on the bonnet cause she wanted to see how he would react to it (since he's never seen her wear one- none of them have actually 🤔🤔 she's an early riser, so when everyone gets up in the morning her hair is already done LOL)

I feel like she would have more than 20-- like about 40 but the other 20 is at her house 💀💀 OMG she came out her dorm in a bonnet they went CRAZYYYY

they would love it so much cause if feels so domesticated to them-- like their actually getting ready for bed with the girl of their dreams Sweetheart

And Soap would just have stars in his eyes, feeling the bonnet between his fingers

Soap, gasping: BITCH is this SATIN??

Sweetheart, being a smug Lil shit: BITCH YES IT IISSSS

Gaz would be reminiscing about wearing one when he was younger

Gaz: My mum used to have me wear one when I was a kid

Sweetheart, smiling: Really?!? Oh that's so cute!

Gaz, flustered: ehheheh, yeah. When I used to have hair, she put one on me so it could be perfect for picture days.

And Sweetheart started laughing cause that's ADORABLE

And then she leaves to go to her room and comes back with like-- ten different colored bonnets 💀

Sweetheart, with a devilish smile: Everyone put one on right now. I need to make fun of you real quick

Alex: MEAN

They all put one on except for Ghost (for now) Soap had a blue one cause SCOTLAND FOREVEEEERRRRRRR (he screamed that for 12 minutes.) Gaz got a red one, Price got a gold one cause he's a PIMP, Alex got a light purple one, Horangi had a yellow one with tiger stripes, König got a green one and Roach got an orange one.

Now it was just Ghost--

Sweetheart: Wear it.

Ghost: No.

Sweetheart: JUST FOR A BIT PLEASE

Ghost: NO-- WHY THE FUCK DO I GET THAT COLOR

Sweetheart: BECAUSE JUST-- FUCKIN PUT IT ON

Ghost: STOP IT

She fights him for a bit until she got it on him.

It was silent for so damn long.

Sweetheart started to snort, and then it was just LOUD LAUGHTER

Ghost: I'M TAKING THIS OFF

Sweetheart, crying: NO WAIT LEMME TAKE A PICTURE

The picture:

(I sketched this so damn quick bro)

LMAOOO I CANT WTF DID I JUST CREATE

Everyone started laughing harder and Ghost threw the bonnet on the floor and stomped to his room

Sweetheart: EY DONT THROW MY SHIT THAT COSTED ME TWENTY DOLLARS

Alex: TWENTY DOLLARS??? This economy is in shambles

Sweetheart: Okay now give them back

Sweetheart: 'cept you Gaz, you can keep yours

Gaz: 0:)

#i was laughing too hard when i was sketching that picture #ALSO IF ANYONE WANTS TO USE THIS AS A PFP PLS DOOOO #JUST CREDIT ME #THIS NEEDS TO BE SHARED #reblog this #PLEASE #black fem reader #black reader #cod oc #black!reader #cod imagine #cod incorrect quotes #black oc #x black!reader #cod headcanons #ghost headcanons #price mw2 #141 sweetheart #hunter's ask lounge ☕️

[madameminor]

A Hunter Perspective - another unintentional essay

I guess ima put this out there, just for myself.

I'm fully on Hunter's side.

Don't get me wrong, I am madly in love with Crosshair, madly, passionately. I'll pick smut with him over Hunter any day. I see his faults and love him for them even as they drive him further into misery and darkness.

I also will fight fiercely that Hunter has done/is doing all he can to protect his family. And truthfully, I don't think he's made any mistakes.

"But he left crosshair behind in episode 1!" Crosshair was trying to kill him and his squad, and he had no idea why. He thought his brother had betrayed him. I also would have gotten the hell out of there, in massive pain at the betrayal, wondering what the hell was happening. I have also been someone with access to money and supplies - who has then suddenly not had any money or supplies and had to take care of my household (and thats just with my cat. Three brothers and a kid? Nuh uh). Then I find out he's being mind controlled - how the fuck am i supposed to fix that? And again, with no resources or money? Now guilt is eating me alive, but I can't do anything about it, I have no idea what to do. THEN I find out there is a way - and Wrecker might be going the way of Crosshair? Fuckin yes I'm going to go get that shit out of all of them and myself. Oh, and then the mind controlled one comes and tries to kill us again, and the ONE. THING. that I know that can save his ass and keep him from killing us is destroyed in the process. Like, I no longer have access to it. Great. So NOW what do I do?

"They pointed their guns at Crosshair when he was going to save Omega!" Uuuuh, yeah. He just admitted that his chip had been REMOVED. They didn't know when and if he'd TRIED TO KILL THEM after it was removed. He also shows open hostility to Omega. I'd be jumpy, too. Even Tech, the SMART ONE, who just explained his perspective, had his gun out. So it wasn't that far fetched. Is that their fault, OR HIS? Natural consequences, bro.

"They abandoned Crosshair on that platform in Kamino!" Dude, they gave him chance after chance, saying "come with us." Sure, maybe they didn't trust him fully, but after that whole episode, they trusted him enough to let him back on their ship. And he. said. no. In a way, he said "fuck you, no". And since he's still showing loyalty to the empire, how do they know that if they knock him out and drag him along, he isn't going to somehow contact the Empire and get them all captured or something?

"He didn't immediately go get Crosshair!/ He didn't listen to Crosshair and stay in hiding!" Aye caramba, this guy just can't win. First premise, again, traps laid, betrayal happened, how does he know this isn't a trick? And he's still hurting, with fewer resources, and he just found a HOME for them all. If they fall into a trap, they're also putting Pabu at risk. Second premise, his squad made the choice - and he knows who his squad is. If he put his foot down and said "no, we're not doing this, he's warning us to stay away", THEY WOULD HAVE GONE ANYWAY. He knows his team, his family - they don't follow orders. They would have snuck off without him, and he wouldn't have been able to help.

"He's being mean to Crosshair when Crosshair is hurting!" - Yeah, Ima allow this man to be petty and angry for a second. His brother who betrayed him, turned his back on him twice, blamed it ALL ON HIM instead of taking responsibility for his own actions (which he finally does at the end of this episode), tells him ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about what happened, and just shows up expecting trust again? Actively, fuck you (said to Crosshair in this situation). Even Omega is like "YOU HAVE TO TALK TO THEM." Hunter has never been allowed to be openly hurt and angry. Not once this whole show. And now the one he can be vulnerable with is back, he's feeling his emotions - he's PISSED and HURT and ANGRY. He's tired of being the good one, and all of this guilt and other stuff laid at his feet. And what does he ask? "What did you do to betray someone ELSE? You're not even going to TRY and explain why you're here now? Just going to silently simmer and expect us to be all hunky dory?"

Maybe this is just cause I'm an older sibling, and sober in a 12 step (a community that actively acknowledges hurt, but taking responsibility for the lives you've hurt), and taking care of recovering teens who also whine about how the world is so unfair and never want to take responsibility that their actions are their own. (They all have pain, but thats an explanation, not an excuse. You don't get to call someone by their dead name and gender or spread rumors that another client is a pedophile and then act the victim. No.). But I'm team Hunter. I understand him, and he doesn't deserve half of the hate he gets.

I also understand where Crosshair is coming from. I know his hurt and his fear and his rage and everything. I've been him, too, in my active addiction. But guess what, buckaroo? The only difference between you and a droid is you are in charge of your actions, and you have to live with the consequences. I had to do it. Rex and Cody had to do it. Hunter has been doing it (warranted or not). Now, its your turn.

And this last episode - he started to.

#the bad batch #tbb crosshair #tbb season 3 spoilers #I love crosshair #and ima still hold him accountable #tbb hunter

[brandnewhuman]

Hi dad. I got an angsty one for ya.

How would the slashers (anyone you wanna write for, as many or few as you want) react to a reader who they've kinda fallen for and acts comfortable around them, but is really just putting up an act to stay alive? maybe the reader could fall for them, but they're scared out of their mind and Stockholm syndrome isn't happening. 😈😈😈

Trigger of love

Headcanons

☆STARRING☆

☆Brahms Heelshire☆

☆Michael Audrey Myers☆

☆ Jason Voorhees ☆

☆ Jesse Cromeans ☆

Tw: major character death, description of injuries and bones breaking, canon violence, mature language, toxic relationships, mentions of blood, description of mental illness

A/n: THIS IS THE JUICIEST TASTIEST ANGST REQUEST EVER BRO. so happy to finally have the opportunity to write it, even tho it has taken me ages but I'VE DONE FINALLY. That's my shit right here, really tragic stories with really tragic endings and never ending dramas ANYWAY ENJOY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE:

I genuinely think brahms would end up killing you

LET ME EXPLAIN OKAY? DON'T COME AT ME

he wouldn't do it on purpose, it would be something accidental. Your behaviour would bring out the worst tantrum ever in history 

Not your fault bro I know but it is what it is

The fact is that everytime brahms does something bad it has some sort "justification"

Like Idk if it makes sense but take greta for example

He did all those things at the beginning cause she was breaking the rules, and he killed Cole cause he was hurting her 

You're not doing anything wrong but at the same time he's hypersensitive to people's behaviour so he knows you're not really doing it because you love him but more because you fear him

It's like living with his parents and even tho there's some sort of comfort in it because it's all he knows, he still wants to feel truly loved 

You don't try to escape but don't let the Stockholm syndrome kick in either and you don't even give a chance to actually believe he's not going to hurt you

Which again, not your fault cause his tantrums are enough on their own to make someone shit themselves, and he knows it 

We love a self-aware king

So he finds himself in this shitty in between where he can't say he doesn't has what he wants but neither that he's happy

For once in his life, having his own selfish need of you staying ecc it's not enough and he wishes for you to be happy as well

You do everything and beyond to keep him happy 

Never once broke a rule, never once tried to get away, never said no to giving him affection or anything he asks for

You have even taken care of him when he was sad ecc

But he can still see it in your eyes how scare you are of him

You flinch away everytime he just as much as lifts his hand, you always tremble slightly around him, your eyes has never stopped being glossy 

The only time he sees any other emotion in you besides fear is when you're alone and he's not really sure how much better that is cause you look so defeated and sad and overall depressed 

Needless to say the guilt is eating him alive, to know he's the one who has ruined you like that will never leave him a moment of peace 

It's literally driving him crazy

At first he was like 'yeah whatever, fuck you. You'll stay anyway and I'm not going to say sorry' 

Oh boy if he did regretted it

Once again, he feels like he felt while living with his parents all over again and after a while he develops this fear of you killing yourself like they did

My man here is collecting trauma like pokemon cards 

He tries everything like everything for real

He becomes more patient, he tries to take care of you instead of making you take care of him, he treats you like you could break if he's not careful enough

At this point my boy doesn't even fuckin wants you to be in love or for you to get the Stockholm syndrome, he just wants to show you he's sorry and that he has learned his lesson 

It's like living in some sort of loop from hell where he can't fucking make it right even if he really wants to

He has even stopped spying you and invading your privacy without you having to ask for it

Has even considered to let you go but he has found out about this underlying fear of someone telling the police everything and making him end up in a much worse situation than being a prisoner in his own house 

Funnily enough his insecurities about his face ecc are subsided by how much of a monster he feels on the inside

Like you have made very clear you're simply scared of him as a person, not because of his face.

And that's something he will never be able to get over 

After countless months of trying and being in his best behaviour he just kind of snaps 

You haven't seen him all day and you didn't felt observed either which made a very appreciated break from your hypervigilanting and stressing routine 

Just when you thought everything was calm and you decided to head up to go to bed, there he was waiting for you at the top of the stairs 

He seemed calm but you could seem the slight trembling of his body, one you recognise from numerous fits of rage he had in the past

He didn't straight up started to yell but you sensed there were like wrong and right answers to each question he was making 

He kept asking you if you loved him truly, if you were happy or if you wanted to leave 

To everything you always answered what he wanted to hear even tho the feeling that you were saying the wrong thing was only growing more and more

'You're scared of me, aren't you? You'll never want to be here'

At this point he knows you're lying and for a second something seems to switch in you

He has stopped wearing the mask around you so now you can freely see how pained he actually looks

You have never noticed before how tired he looks too

You have spent so much time being scared of him that now that you see it and you like really look at him you can see how defeated and miserable he has been

There's no trace of pretending or lying or trying to manipulate you in any way 

Now you're still scared but not as much and for once you actually decide on your own to try and help him 

You can't stand to look at him crying like that, it looks like he's going to die from a heartbreak anytime soon 

You start to go towards him with your hands up forwards so he knows you mean no harm

It's really like trying to get a stray animal to trust you

He has his hands covering his face and you can see how violent are the sobs, you actually take a minute to let yourself be amazed by the fact that even with such a hard and brutal crying he's able to conceal the noise 

He's used to do it since he was a kid and it shouldn't surprise you that much but in some way it does 

When you finally reach for him that's when he pushes you away screaming

Which scares the shit out of you and makes you lose your balance

It's a cliché but he swears it all happened so fast but at the same time so slow

He saw how you made yourself trip backwards and your face contorted in panic as you felt the void behind you, realising you were about to fall down the stairs

He tried to grab you but you were trying to hold on the rail so you just completely missed his hand 

You basically flew down the really long staircase and all he could do was watch 

He had that paralysing feeling of guilt and fear clawing at his guts as he watched you fall 

But when he heard the disgusting sound of your neck basically snapping against the hardwood floor, that's when he really felt sick 

He almost wanted to run away and pretend nothing has happened cause in his mind, if he got near you now that would make you dead for real

For now as he watches from afar you could still be alive 

BTW baby bro here is not stupid and I'm not talking basic level of knowledge nono

I'm talking he has studied and read about a lot of stuff including books about medical things like injuries ecc 

Basically he's like really smart 

That being said, and I know you know where I'm going with this 

From the moment you fell he knew you wouldn't survive.

Either that or you would end up disabled 

He knows too that when you snap your neck you don't die on the spot but you feel a ridiculous amount of pain until the injure does its course of action

That's yet another thing he feels guilty about your death

He should've put you out of your pain at least but he didn't, he just stared at you while shaking and crying silently 

He didn't even dared to move in case some invisibile and unnoticed force of the universe would notice what he has done and decided to punish him for it

Which thinking about he felt like he was already being punished 

It's kind of sad cause he didn't actually meant it, it was truly an accident but he will always blame himself for it as if he was the one actively pushing you 

Now he knows that no matter what he does or how much he changes he's always destined to be the cause of the death of the people he loves. 

Which he should've seen coming since not even his parents could bear his existence 

MICHAEL MYERS:

Tbh he's not that shocked about it

I mean bro at least acknowledges the fact that he is the fucking boogeyman and everyone will always find him scary

He doesn't even tries to excuse himself because he knows he kills and he's a overall unhinged man and that's something a normal person will never get over 

What bothers him is the acting nice 

When you both met, you really didn't knew who he was

He happened to have been badly injured and was like bleeding the fuck out on your backyard 

yes, you basically just took him inside as if he was some sort of stinky and pitiful ugly cat

That and the fact that you're taking care of him stirred him away from the idea of killing you

No shame in being oblivious to the most juicy gossip in town but bro was really just waiting for you to recognise him

When you did, and you started to act all nice and scared ecc he has to admit he took advantage of it

He knew how to scare you into never running away and never snitching him to the police so he could use you for food ecc

At some point he was impressed by how well you're able to keep up with this 

No lashing out, no crying and you have never broke down 

He could tell tho that you have never been this stressed 

Your hands are always trembling, you don't sleep well at night so you're getting clumsier by the minute 

When you drop stuff, burn food ecc he doesn't mind much but as time goes by it's hard for him to not get attached to you

Which it frustrates him cause he it makes him even more aware of how you see him

He has come to know you by invading your privacy a little bit

He had to since you were not exactly open to let him get to know you

The more he finds the more he likes you

And the more he likes the more he realise he has basically killed you from the inside 

It's hard to think all of those things he has found out are about you cause now you look more like a shell of what you used to be

And he definitely feels the guilt of being responsible of you losing your spirit

You're the first person he really cares about and loves like really truly loves

But that goes against everything he is now cause he can't possibly choose between be with you or killing

He starts to dwell on the past too much and the more he thinks about it the more he gets mad about the situation 

Before you he has never really care too much about the injustices he has suffered 

As a matter of fact he has never really grasped the fact that so many people have failed him and that's why he will never have a normal life

There was a time where he kind of did but that was long ago when he was just a kid 

At some point he just accepted what everyone said he was, that he's only purpose and role in life was to be a monster to everyone

Whether he wanted to or not it wasn't really important 

No one would help him nor he could make people change their minds

Besides, his reasoning is that if so many people is saying it then it must be true

And in his own selfish way he thought that the only one who got the consequences of it was him and the idiots who happened to be killed by him

Now that he sees the result of what everyone and himself has done with him on you he just feels sick

He finds himself spending hours observing you and daydreaming about how a normal version of him would've lived a normal life with you

He tries really hard to show you he can be gentle 

Spends hours observing other couples and what normal people do with their loved ones to understand better how he should act in order to get closer to you

It's so frustrating for him cause he literally doesn't has a choice anymore and he sees in you everything that's wrong with him that he can't change

He feels for the first time as broken as he really is 

At some point he wishes you could just drop the act of being nice, treat him like trash so he can tell to himself you're like everyone else therefore he doesn't need you 

But even if you were to do that he knows he would never be able to kill you

Everytime you touch him even if it's by mistake he gets a bubbly feeling of hope inside that maybe you're starting to see him as something different than what he is 

But then he looks at your eyes and he sees the same glossy and sad scared stare looking right back at him

He knows there's like nothing else he can do and for the first time he just gives up 

He needs to like get used to not be able to see you so he starts with small steps

He starts to staying out for a couple of hours more than usual, then hours turn to days, days into weeks, weeks into months and months into a year 

Everytime he comes back and you see him he can immediately see the shift in your behaviour and how you lose all the already weak sparkle you have gathered from knowing he was far away from you

That's the worst part of it for him

He needs to see you, he wants to spend time with you and looks forward to see you for the last few times before going away fr 

But you on the other part seem to flourish when he's not around, to count the minutes and seconds until he's gone 

It kinda makes him feel like he felt when he was a kid and he wanted to see his parents 

The day he finally came back for the last time after a year you were asleep

He didn't even sit on the bed, nor did he woke you up or did anything that could steer you away from your sleep

He sat on the floor near your bed in complete silence 

He took off his mask knowing that you would never see him and he just stared at you

He wanted to look at you, take in every detail of your face to burn it in his brain so he would never forget you 

He just wanted to look at you not as the shape, but just as Michael. Even if just for one time he wanted to pretend he was just that and that you were being stared by a person and not a monster 

For once his difficulty in expressing his emotions was useful because if he were to let go of all the things he was experiencing he could swear he would just explode or melt away 

The only thing that came out of him was a tear, which he swiped away slowly before getting up and putting on the mask again

After that he never came back, obviously you were over the moon and he was just well going on with it 

He occasionally stalks you but after some time he stops cause it makes him feels sickeningly alone 

Here something to think about if you need to cry: sometimes he thinks back at when he was trying to get closer to you 

One of the things he wanted to do the most was holding hands but you always looked so scared when he tried to do that he just dropped it 

He understands how it might look to you that this tall ass bastard is trying to hold your hand 

That and the fact that he wasn't really good at being careful and gentle didn't help his cause 

So from time to time, when he thinks about it he stares at his hands 

You know when you like pretend to be holding someone's hand while holding yours? 

Well he does that and finds ironic the fact that he has learned to do it gently now that he will never be able to do it with you

JASON VOORHEES:

Listen, LISTEN

I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK, IM A JASON APOLOGIST FIRST AND A HUMAN SECOND

jason my beloved what are this foul gremlins making me do smh

He is one of the few slashers I genuinely think could change for you and try to make things better

Jason doesn't kills just for funsies 

He kills because his sense of duty and to protect himself and his home and all that jazz

I don't really think he genuinely wants anyone fearing him

If anything it's the opposite. He has been treated like a monster his whole life, no one has ever gave him the opportunity to be something else

Like why would he enjoy ending up being what everyone has always thought of him? Doesn't make any fucking sense mate

Like I said he has to, he genuinely thinks there's nothing else for him to do and there's no other place in the whole world for him

IM GONNA CRY BUT LIKE HE'S AT LEAST GRATEFUL OF HAVING A PURPOSE CAUSE HE GENUINELY THINKS HE'S SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE OR MISTAKE 

 So my Wild take of the day for which I'm ready to bet my own ass is that if he could he would very much appreciate to just be left alone and live a normal life, not bothering or harming anyone

The fact is that much more like so many other slashers he can't really communicate to tell you at least his reasons for being a murderer 

That's something that torments him daily, to know that in your eyes he's merciless and overall really evil

Assuming you survive being hunted down by him, he would do near to everything to show he's not a threat for you

You must have been someone who he didn't deem fair to kill 

Like you were respectful, you didn't seem to be a fucking moron messing around and ruining his home 

Once again, I'm gonna assume you just don't know about him and crystal lake ecc

cause otherwise for you to be there is pretty much a death wish from your part

That being said, if you don't know anything about him there's a good chance that the scariest part of Jason (sadly) it's his appearance and behaviour 

JASON BABE YOU'RE HUGE LIKE SCARY BIG, WHAT THE MCFUCK IS ONE SUPPOSED TO FEEL SEEING YOU CHARGING AT THEM LIKE A FUCKING GRIZZLY BEAR 

The whole being chased around like a fucking animal is not a vibe i guess 

LET ME BE DELUSIONAL ABOUT THE FACT THAT WITH ENOUGH TIME HE COULD BE QUITE NICE TO BE AROUND 

I won't let anyone ruin my mental image of him being a sweetheart once you know him

THAT MAN CAN'T BE THAT EVIL. YES, I CAN FIX HIM. IF YOU THINK YOU CAN'T THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM

Now, jason may be shy and a gentle giant but he's not stupid

He knows very well how you think of him and how does he looks like to anyone who sees him

He can see through your act, you can't fool him

He can see the same scared look in your eyes he used to see on other people's face when he was a kid

The only person who has always looked at him like he's just well a human being with feelings is his mother

And maybe it doesn't makes sense and It may be controversial but deep down jason appreciates the nice act 

Like he just can't bring himself to care anymore. At least someone is trying to be nice 

Keep in mind this man has known nothing from the world beside humiliation, pain and loneliness 

Idk if anyone ever thinks about it but it torments me a great deal the thought of Jason's miserable life

Being stripped away from your humanity, having to choose a path of violence to protect yourself, having to witness how they kill the only person in the whole universe that could ever love you 

That shit it's just not fair and even if he knows you're scared of him he sees it as the most caring and thoughtful anyone has ever been with him in a long time

Think about it, anyone who has ever seen him has either tried to kill him or has been incredibly cruel 

The fact that, even if out of fear and self-preservation, you try to still reach to his human side and treat him with respect at least it's already enough

I think he could be one of those slasher that could make you fall in love without falling for the Stockholm syndrome type of infatuation 

HE IS, OKAY? I WILL TAKE NO FUCKING CRITICISMS. YOU WILL GENUINELY FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM OR ELSE I'LL STEAL YOUR FUCKING PET

Jason would literally try everything to get you to feel less stressed around him

It breaks his heart to see your eyes glossy or your body shaking because of fear 

In the process he gets clumsier by the minute so at the in of the day you're both stressed 

He is because he's scaring you just by breathing and you bc obvious reasons

You can notice how different he acts tho and somehow, his efforts manage to go through your thick layer of fear 

You could swear he almost tries to make himself look as harmless and gentle as possible

You can see him trying to take as little space as he can or bringing you things that might cheer you up 

He cleans up from blood and gore before getting back home 

He even makes his cabin more homely for you so you feel more at home and less kidnapped 

And at some point it works 

That plus you somehow piecing together what has happened to him it's starting to make it easier for you to not relax but overall feel less terrified around him

He would spend so much time watching you from afar because he knows he will never get to know you or see you without fear 

The days where he can observe you without you noticing anything are his favourite. He gets to see a version of you more relaxed and natural

He would literally spend an eternity being far from you if it means you can feel better 

He would spend his free time improving the cabin and daydreaming about what it would be like to be liked by you

Not even like dating you because he feels it would be wrong for him to even think about it

Please for the love of God, try to be friendly with him

Having the opportunity to know him better is taking away some of the fear

You know very well it's not Stockholm syndrome cause it feels genuine

One day you take a good look at him while he's taking care of his flowers I'm the garden 

You observe every part of his rotting being and you can't exactly explain why but you feel your heart ache and your eyes glossy 

Not for you, but for him

It's almost like some sort of illumination comes to you and makes everything painfully clear

You have obviously noticed he's not alive cause we're stupid but not that much 

You take a really good look at his clothes and body, at his mask and everything you look at to get more details about him

Everything in his appearance screams hurt, wounded and mistreated. A whole life and a afterlife filled with getting hurt and abused by the world 

His bright blue eye has always a layer of sadness in it even when he's doing something that makes him happy

It hits you just now how little human he must feel. 

And that leads you to realise that he has not only changed so much just to please you but has distanced himself as if he's very own existence could be offensive to you

From that day you started with small steps like saying good morning or good night to him, keeping him company when he tended to his garden, trying to get closer to him even if that means just being in silence and standing next to him

That grows into "talking" with him, taking walks around the woods, spending evenings reading inside the cabin 

You insist in eating together, tending his wounds, mending his clothes and overall doing anything that could make him feel less like the shell of a human being 

At first he doesn't really get it but the more you do it the more he silently realises how much he craves those types of things. 

I personally think that with enough patience you both could build a good relationship and you could even talk him out of killing people and settle for just scaring them away

He's favourite thing to do is curling up next to you in bed, his head on your chest so he can listen to your heartbeats while you mindlessly caress his back while telling him about anything you want 

JESSE CROMEANS:

🎶DADDY LET ME KNOW THAT I'M YOUR ONLY GORL🎶

Some funzies before doing some emotional terrorism

Since you all want to be a menace with this requests I'm going to use post accident Jesse

To say this man is on the verge of tears every single day is an understatement

So long story short you were jesse s/o

He was like the love of your fucking life and you were his

His whole world goes around you, you're the only thing that makes him genuinely happy besides his work

You found out about the whole chromeskull thing in the worst way possible

He was scared of coming back after the accident with his face so he just kind of distanced himself

Everytime you would ask when he was coming home he always had an excuse

You both went a long time of just calling each other's, spending time on calls and sometimes even falling asleep with the phone still on

He missed you so much but he couldn't bear the thought of you looking at him like he was monster

It was killing him to know he was so close to you but couldn't reach you

You find out who he really was on accident

Cleaning around to distract yourself you ended up gathering many things that needed to be put in the attic so that you did

Once you were there you found some tapes. You checked them out of curiosity and oh boy you regretted it

You felt so sick you almost threw up

All those girls, there were some many of them in each tape and each one of them different from the other

It was horrifying to watch the love of your life mercilessly torture and kill helpless and innocent people

Now everything made so much more sense and It actually made you feel even worse to know that this whole time, while you were talking with him, Jesse was killing people

What hurts the most is feeling like you've been played, like you were something he has used to entertain himself until he finds a new victim

Needless to say you didn't stayed in your shared apartment a day longer, you didn't even take with half of the things you own

Most of them were gifts Jesse bought you so bringing them with you was only going to make it worse

You were scared out of your mind. So scared that in fact you couldn't even find the courage to go to the police, afraid that maybe that would end up with your being another one of Jesse victims

Obviously no one told Jesse what was going on. They all collectively agreed their boss was dealing with enough shit to keep adding more

They all needed Jesse to focus on work

That didn't worked well cause as soon as you stopped answering the phone he decided enough was enough

He needed to check what was going on so he found the courage to overcome his insecurities and go find you

He was heartbroken when he found you left

He immediately thought that you just got tired of waiting for him, that he has drawn you away

Long story short he went after you to find you and try at the best of his abilities to explain everything and win you back

He did not see the coming all that panic and terror in your face when he knocked at your door

He did think it was bc of his face so he tried to calm you down and explain

Needless to say you didn't calm down and he being the man he is, just kind of kidnapped you

Now onto business here

He knows you have every right to feel like this but it still upsets him deeply to know that he will never get the chance of being with you like before

He thought that you being scared and acting crazy every time you saw him was the worst but now he is kind of rethinking it

You started acting like this after he "snapped" at you

You were panicking and screaming while he tried to tell you something, that lead to you taking his mask off accidently which ended up in him pushing you off too hard

After that things went really fucking downhills

It wasn't like you were still out of your mind but the look in your eyes is unbearable

The first time you started the whole acting nice thing he almost thought you were starting to at least tolerate him but then he saw it

It's the same look some of his victims had while trying to gain his trust, seeing it on you was the worst thing he has ever experienced

He just couldn't stand it anymore, his face, you hating him, his favourite victim who was the one that has damaged him so badly killed by that cunt of Preston and now this? Mate is done

He has tried everything and anything but now he just kind of gives up

You notice the shift in his behaviour, how he comes by just to bring your meals or things you may need, he doesn't even goes near you or talks and his eyes are always anywhere but on you

I gotta be real with you guys, I don't think there's like a way to make this up

HE'S HURT OKAY? BRO'S EMOTIONAL DAMAGE IS BIG AF

He would even start sending his assistant to take care of you so he doesn't has to face you at all

It's just painful cause he already feels like his life is ruined and everything is falling apart with him not being able to fix it

You know what? I'm gonna fix it cause I can't take it anymore

You have probably grown used to be basically trapped at home, it's not like you're suffering with god knows what kind of abuse cause you basically have all you need to distract yourself aside from going out

Jesse comes home very rarely and as much as you hate to admit it you have been feeling less and less scared of him

You still think what he does is horrible but the thing that bothers you it's him lying to you

You do have to admit you miss being with him. Not like when you were scared but like when you didn't knew and he was just Jesse

You wonder from time to time if he's angry at you for how you have reacted since he hasn't shown himself for quite sometimes

As if on clue you hear something break in the bathroom and what seems like someone crying

That would be another of Jesse's mental breakdowns about his face. He thinks he looks so bad he can't even bear the sight of himself in the mirror

You slowly try to approach the bathroom and putting your ear against the door, you try to hear what's going on

You have never heard Jesse crying nor making any sort of noises come out of his mouth so it's actually quite shocking to hear him sob so hard

When you open the door the scene breaks your heart and in that moment you don't see chromeskull or the homicides, you just see your Jesse, the same one you have always loved and that has always helped you when you were down, on his knees bawling his eyes out and shaking

You just do what comes naturally aka you get closer and you just hold him as tight as possible

He tries to hide away, panicking bc he doesn't want you to see what he has become, but you just keep hugging him and saying that it doesn't matter

The moment you hold his face on your hands and look at him with the same understanding gaze you used to have it's the moment he feels his heart beating right again

It's not gonna be easy to accept everything but at least you're coming around it and he makes sure you know how grateful he is for it everyday

#slasher fandom #slasher community #slashers #slasher fanfiction #slasher x reader #horror movies #slasher headcanons #michael myers #brahms heelshire #jason voorhees #jesse cromeans #chromeskull #jason vorhees x reader #brahms heelshire x reader #michael myers x reader #slasher #jesse cromeans x reader

[joeys-babe]

Someday We’ll Be Together

Chapter 11: Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain

————————————————————————

September 12, 2021

(joe's pov)

after y/n ran into the bathroom, i realized the severity of the situation.

i really fucked up.

my plan didn't go the way i wanted it to at all. after i kissed y/n, i panicked and thought that she only kissed me because she got caught up in the moment. the first thing i saw was lexie running out of the bar and i made a split second decision to take the kiss back and make an excuse for why i did it.

"i don't want to talk to you now, or preferably ever again."

my heart shattered when she said those words.

i waited outside of the bathroom door for 10 minutes, until i eventually gave up. even if she did walk out, i'd be the last person she'd want to see.

my first thought was to just get wasted, forget about the situation temporarily.

i made my way over to the bar asked for a bear, adding the "keep 'em coming".

i was three deep when i heard a female voice.

"hey joey."

"i'm not signing stuff tonight, kinda heartbroken right now-" - joe turned and noticed that it was lexie

"lexie.. what the fuck do you want?" - joe

"joe you're absolutely wasted, let me take you home. i remember where you live." - lexie

"where's your boyfriend? thought you'd be busy grinding on him." - joe

"you know he doesn't mean anything to me, you're the only one for me joe." - lexie

"fuck off." - joe

"okay fine. just at least let me drive you home, no funny business i swear." - lexie

"let me get one more beer and then maybe we'll talk."- joe flagged down the bartender

"okay, i'll come back in 10 minutes. i have to go find my boyfriend." - lexie

i rolled my eyes as she walked away, she was such a fake woman.

soon after i finished my beer, lexie walked back up to me.

"you ready to go joey?" - lexie

"yup" - joe

she grabbed my hand to stand up but when i tried to stand up i immediately tripped over my own feet, so i grabbed onto lexies waist.

"you look like an idiot." - lexie laughed

"just shut up and take me back to my house. the faster you get me to the car the faster we can never talk to each other again." - joe

"bro what did i do to you? you don't have to be a dick." - lexie

i scoffed at that, thinking of all the different examples i could use.

"what haven't you done? you've judged my body, used me for my status, cheated on me twice.. want me to keep going?" - joe

we were passing the table that the guys were sitting at, and i heard sam yell for me.

i hurriedly walked away from lexie and walked over to the guys.

"here's this.." - sam handed joe his sweatshirt

y/n had folded my sweatshirt perfectly and gave it to sam to give back to me.

"is she.. still here?" - joe

"i don't think so. she ran after she practically slammed this on the table. oh yeah, she also told me to tell you to go to hell." - sam

"i deserve that." - joe

"bro what did you do? and why the fuck are you with lexie?" - sam

"i- uhm.. i'll tell you later. i really fucked up though, and i'm really scared i just lost her." - joe

"lost her?" - sam

"lost the girl i'm fuckin in love with. it's all my fault too." - joe sighed

"woah woah, go back. joe, you're in love with her?" - sam

"sam, don't play stupid. you know full and well i've been in love with her since damn ohio state." - joe

i hadn't realized that my voice got louder out of irritation and everyone at the table was staring at me with their jaw dropped. jess and gracie having shocked smiles on their faces.

"but i really messed up. i kissed her, but i panicked thinking that she only kissed me back because she got caught up in the moment.." - joe

"so what'd you do?" - jess

"i pretended like i did it to make lexie jealous, like a damn jerk." - joe

"joe! that was such a dick move." - ja'marr

"i know! i've realized that! now i'm never gonna know if she feels the same way because she hates me!" - joe

"go see if she's outside, if she is you should try to explain." - tee

"she doesn't want to talk to me-" - joe

"go!" - the whole table yelled

i ran out the bar and started scanning the sidewalk. y/n was standing yards away from me, but i could still hear her sobbed words. it was pouring the rain, and i felt terrible seeing her stand there with no shelter over her head.

"i hate joe, so much." - you

a few seconds of silence, the other person on the phone was talking.

"mom hurry, i'll tell you everything that happened later. just get here fast, i don't want him to come find me." - you

moments later she said an "i love you too" and got off the phone.

even though she said she didn't want to talk to me, or want me to come find her. i had to.

"y/n.." - joe

i watched her head move in my direction, her crying getting even harder.

"i told you to leave me alone." - you

"please, let me explain." - joe

"i don't want to hear it. go find lexie for all i care. i've done nothing but supported you your whole entire life, joe and you use me to make some bitch jealous?!" - you

"y/n please!" - joe

"you- you're a jerk. you're like every other guy i've ever been around. i thought you were different, i thought you were my best friend. but you are nothing but a lier, player, dick, and you lead me on! i'm sick and tired of being your back burner for when you're girlfriends hurt you!" - you

by this time i was crying with her, she was the only girl i've ever truly wanted and now she'll never know.

"i am your best friend, y/n!" - joe

"no you're not. also, my moms almost here and i don't want you to be anywhere near here when she arrives. after tonight, don't try to contact me in anyway possible because i will not be answering." - you

i nodded and defeatedly started walking back towards the bar door, just as i was about to reach the handle i turned around. y/n was watching me walk away.

"just know this. i never meant to hurt you, and i'm so sorry. you're the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and i wish i would've showed that more. goodnight, y/n." - joe walked back into the bar

when i walked in, the table of my teammates were already looking in my direction. they waited for me to report back to them.

all i did was nod my head "no" and wipe the remaining tears off my cheeks.

i stood there for a second, my back against the door thinking about what had just happened when i realized i didn't have my sweatshirt with me.

i opened the door to see if i had dropped it, only to see y/n hugging her mom by her car that was idle in the road.

my heart broke even more at the sight, and when they pulled away that's when i saw it. my sweatshirt. y/n had it hugged against her chest.

(y/n's pov)

on the way home i explained to my mom what had happened, and as soon as we arrived i went upstairs to my room and cried myself to sleep.

i was sleeping rather peacefully till i got a call at midnight, my phone vibrating on my nightstand.

not even checking the caller ID, i excepted it and mumbled a "hello".

"y/n!" - gracie

"gracie? why the hell are you calling me at midnight?" - you

"aye i'm here too!" - jess

"what is it you guys absolutely needed to wake me up for?" - you

"we found out what happened and wanted to check on you." - jess

"i'll be fine, he's just a stupid guy. i just don't understand why he kept trying to get me to listen to him, there was literally nothing for him to explain!" - you

"you have every right to feel that way and to be mad, but maybe you should've maybe tried to listen. he explained the situation to us, and i really feel like you would want to hear what he has to say.” - gracie

“i mean this in the nicest way possible but i honestly don’t care. i don’t want to hear anything he has to say. he doesn’t deserve it.” - you

“so what are you gonna do? ignore him forever and forget that you were in love with him?” - jess

“that’s the problem. even after all of this, he’s the only guy i can ever picture myself with. i’m still in love with him, i don’t ever think thats gonna change.” - you

“then you should let him talk. you don’t have to today, or even this week. take your time, and then hear him out. i really do think you’ll like what you hear, y/n.” - gracie

“i will. just give me time, i’m still hurt.” - you

“we know. take all the time you need, and just know that joes really upset too. sam and i took him home and he asked us to stay while we he showered, just in case he fell in hit his head since he was still drunk, and we could literally hear him crying from downstairs.” - jess

“he’s such a man-child.” - you laughed

“maybe so, but he cares about you a lot.” - jess

our conversation went on for a little longer till we said our goodnights, but there was no way i was going to be able to back to sleep.

all i could think about was what joe was going to tell me if i let him talk. then came the image of his blue eyes crying in the rain.

what did jess and gracie know that i didn’t?

————————————————————————

authors note: i wonder what happens next????

hope you enjoyed! 🥰🥰

#joe burrow #bengals #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow series #joey b #cincinnati bengals

[mallorydeluna]

May I please aee ask for headcanons for the demon bros based on this?

https://www.tumblr.com/crazyyanderefangirlfan/725630683479965696/demon-1-uh-dude-shouldnt-you-meet-you-with-mc

The ending with the alternative please

(Ooh..... This is gonna be interesting.... Also, I'm sorry it took so long for me to write this. There's been a lot happening in my life. Forgive me.... TwT)

(Here's the whole prompt from @crazyyanderefangirlfan 's post. The credit for this idea goes to her! I changed it up a bit, I hope that's okay!)

Demon 1: Uh Dude, shouldn't you go meet up with MC? I mean, this project is more than half of your grade.

Demon 2: What?! No! You know what, Man? Fuck MC. She always does every assignment half assed and she still gets good grades. And come to think of it, why should we be civil or even nice to that stupid bitch in the first place? She's just a fucking weak human, and I’m fuckin' sick of it, man. She's nothing but a ratchet-ass whore who just opens her holes for the demon lords every time they ask! And you know what?! She's not even that hot, She isn't even cute. She has Lucifer, His brothers, Solomon, The angels, and both Barbatos and Lord Diavolo wrapped around her dainty little finger. It's stupid! There. Someone had to say it. I’m glad it was me.

Demon 1: Uh, Dude....

Demon 2: Yeah, what's up? 

Demon 1: You may want to look behind you....

Demon 2: What? *Turns around to see MC standing there with a menacing smile on her face* Well, shit....

After the whole conversation, the second demon had found out you were listening. You proceeded to beat him to a bloody pulp before throwing him into a dumpster. "How's that for a 'fucking weak human' bitch?! Maybe next time you'll think twice before opening your mouth and speaking about people behind their backs!"

Meanwhile, all the brothers were watching. Each of them had a murderous expression on their face but each expression seemed different.

Lucifer:

Sadistic Smirk.

"Oh.... I'm going to enjoy this...."

He loves putting people in their place, but what does he love even more? Badass MC who doesn't take anyone's bullshit!

He watches on with a less than satisfied smirk, he's impressed by your strength but he doesn't believe the demon has been fully punished.

Lucifer is definitely not one to put up with anyone badmouthing Diavolo or his brothers, he's protective. But when it comes to you?

Oh. OH! He'll have a field day!

*dark chuckle* I guess Cerberus is getting a new chew toy.

After Luci watches you beat up that insignificant pest, his brothers have a go at the worthless demon.

If the demon wasn't dead after you and the other brothers..... Well, he'd have one moment of reprieve. But....

That won't last long. Lucifer needs to have his fun too.

Mammon:

What?! What did you just say?! You dare insult the Great Mammon's favorite human?!

He's not very good at self defense not is he good at keeping his emotions in check so Satan and Beelzebub had to hold him back.

He's the second one to land a hit on the demon, after you.

You were a lot of things, many of your qualities were amazing. Not once have you ever done anything half assed in your time there.

The last thing you'd ever be to Mammon is a "ratchet-ass whore."

Who exactly did that low life demon think he was talking about? It certainly shouldn't be you.

He didn't really care if someone badmouthed him, his brothers do it daily.... But someone talking bad about you? His MC? They'll regret their existence.

Mammon seconds the idea of handing the demon to Cerberus, the whole Devildom knows you and the three headed dog are close.

He's satisfied with the punishment you have the demon and he is satisfied because he landed some hits. His brothers punishments didn't matter.

After the whole ordeal, Mammon takes you back to the House of Lamentation for some alone time.

Leviathan:

Wut?

"MC's the bitch? Look who's talking shit behind her back!"

He's not very violent, he is mainly serving as support to you.

He's the only one besides maybe Asmo that doesn't hurt the demon even more.

Levi isn't envious of the demon, he's envious of you and your strength.

He'll act like you're a "normie" and he'll wonder why everyone is so worried about a pathetic little human but deep down, he cares about you.

Levi may not hit the demon with his hands but he will slap the unconscious demon with his tail, that's satisfying to him.

Will secretly drown the demon in his sleep if you ask him to. After all the other brothers teach the demon a lesson of course!

When it comes to you, he follows you and Mammon back home, being out of his room is making him uncomfortable.

Satan:

Silence. At first....

*evil cackle* "Oh...... You pitiful little waste of space...."

MC.... Our brilliant, gorgeous, Sweet MC.... That's who this demon is insulting. Pitiful.

He lands many blows to the demon, both physical and emotional. Hits and Insults at the same time.

He doesn't care about if the demon dies, he's worried about bringing MC the justice she deserves.

Satan thinks about unaliving the demon himself but he doesn't because despite how much he refuses to admit it, Lucifer has a better punishment in store for the pest.

He'll follow you, Mammon, and Levi back home, he'll spend some time with you and he'll read to you. So.... Win-Win.

He won't talk about the situation after that day so try not to bring it up.

Asmodeus:

Oh honey.... Worst mistake of your life.

*strokes the demons bruised and busted face* "I would tell you it's almost over but lying to you might hurt you more."

He feels no remorse, he feels sorry for the demon because of how he thinks but he doesn't feel any remorse for the demon.

Asmo only watches a bit of the beat down but he cheers you on when you put that demon in his place.

He records the whole thing, just in case someone want to get cocky and try twisting the story.

Asmo takes a selfie with the demon too, he posts it on Devilgram with a warning. Maybe next time, no one will think to openly insult you.

He just as satisfied with the punishment that Lucifer's given. Though, there are times during the beatdown when he whispers; "rougher!" "harder!" "fuck him up!" "yeah!"

Beelzebub:

Poor guy was minding his own business, just munching on a cheeseburger when he heard the demon.

Along with Leviathan and Asmodeus, he opts to not beat up the demon.

Beelzebub knows his limits and he knows that he will 100% kill the demon if he joined in.

Sweet boy offers you half of his food in order to calm you down. He knows you might still be angry about the demon and Beel just wants to help.

Even though he doesn't join in on the fight, he does check to make sure the demon is alive. The last thing he needs is to have a guilty conscience because he "helped" murder someone.

Beel also takes pictures of the fight, he's helping Asmo back up the situation with the proof.

After y'all get back home, y'all eat snacks in his room and y'all watch some action movies. Those are Beelzebub's favorite.

He's not ashamed to tell people what you did to the demon, the demon crossed a line and he's gonna get what's rightfully coming to him.

With Asmo, He shares the videos and photos online, he doesn't care about his reputation but he does care about yours.

Super protective demon, while he may not serve justice, he will happily watch you do it.

Belphegor:

*blinks* "I mean, yeah, I see why you could think that, I definitely don't agree with you but you should keep it to yourself.... You've just doomed your sanity."

When it's Belphie's turn, he doesn't use his hands, no..... He uses knives.

He'll hold the demons hands together with his tail so the demon wont fight back.

Belphegor cuts the demons tongue out and splits the demons lips open.

After he draws blood from the demon, he decides to throw the demon around a bit.

Belphie believes that no bruise or cut is completely without a broke bone or two, he will definitely paralyze the demon, that's for sure.

He, like Satan knows Lucifer's punishment for the lowlife will be much more severe so he backs off after a few minutes but he stays to help clean up the mess.

Bonus:

Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, and Solomon are standing there, watching the beat down.

Simeon look on at the brothers and the demon with worry. "Should we stop them? A dead demon is nothing to laugh at...."

Diavolo stands there with his arms crossed. He was smirking, he had watched you beat the demon up so easily, as if the demon was nothing. He was beyond impressed. "No, I doubt this demon is innocent. MC never gets angry, especially like that."

Barbatos nod in agreement as he watches you and the brothers with interest. "Fair point, my Lord but we can't act like we knew about this.... That would be a problem."

Solomon, who has stayed quiet in the whole debacle, nods as he watches you move about and scream. "Such rage, from one human.... MC at that.... It's honestly surprising."

Simeon frowns and watches the beat down. "Let's just hope this doesn't become a habit for MC.... She's still human, I doubt she'll stay here forever....."

At that statement, Diavolo's smirk grows. "Ah! You probably shouldn't say things like that, Simeon. You'll give me too many ideas." He looks longingly at you and he smiles. "Oh, How the future can change."

#obey me #om! mc #om! lucifer #lucifer x mc #om! mammon #mammon x mc #om! leviathan #leviathan x mc #om! satan #satan x mc #om! asmodeus #asmodeus x mc #om! beelzebub #beelzebub x mc #om! belphegor #belphegor x mc #om! diavolo #om! barbatos #om! solomon #om! simeon

[ironmansnips]

simp yandere hc's

bro i need a fic about someone being absolutely whipped

like you could use and abuse them but they just keep coming back, just can't get enough of you

like yeah it hurts them and they're upset with you but it's like a moth to a flame ya know?

if having you in their life means getting treated like shit then so fucking be it, they'll be your bitch

ugh like just imagine hurting their feelings and making them cry just to kiss it better and keep them on their toes 😩

like not being in an official relationship, kinda friends with benefits but more intimate and obsessive? like hanging out and fucking other people just to fuck with their head

they're literally just not interested in anyone else, like they try tho

they go on dates and shit but it's just not the same, they might occasionally fuck someone who looks like you but they feel guilty after

plus the person they fuck doesn't appreciate them moaning your name ☠️

but like i wanna be able to say the most horrific shit and them still be in love with me 🤷🏻‍♀️

but like everytime they say they're done, they won't put themselves through this anymore, but as soon as your name pops up on their phone they break, texting you back instantly, meeting you anywhere you want<3

maybe this is toxic as fuck but it's the dream fr lmao

idk ig i'm just gonna list characters this could apply to in the tags? that feels like something people do lol

i fuckin know there's more but i can't think of them😭 also i wanted a lot more girl characters :(

#eddie munson x reader #gomez addams x reader #wolverine x reader #Stiles Stilinski x reader #Robin Buckley x reader #yandere x reader #john price x reader? #soap McTavish x reader