#yeah consider me gone with a capital G

[kithtaehyung]

AGUST D : THE LAST | 230426 BELMONT

#tw: flashing video #yeah consider me gone with a capital G #the way he just— #bye #yoongi #agust d #suga #videos #*videos #ryen in ny!

[sugoi-and-spice]

Konbini Crush

Like my work? Please consider commissioning me or contributing to my Ko-Fi!

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Yuta Okkotsu x Reader

Rating: G - Minors still DNI though

CW: Nothin. Just pure sickeningly sweet fluff. :)

She was pretty sure that the cute guy she often ran into at the convenience store had a girlfriend. 

Maybe it was the kind, committal energy he gave off, or the fact that he often seemed to be talking to someone named Rika on what she assumed was his bluetooth, or maybe it was even just her own pessimism. Enough years in the throes of capitalism and the dating scene having brought the truth to her eyes that that no guy this sweet could ever be single. 

Whatever the reason was, it was a tragedy of course. He was cute as a button and absolutely her type. But maybe in retrospect, it had been a blessing in disguise. After all, the fact that he “had a girlfriend” meant that she had no chance with him. And that gave her no inhibitions from talking to him.

He was a gloomy-seeming guy at first, but when she finally worked up the courage to speak to him — asking him if the salted cabbage bento he always bought was any good — he instantly lit up.

“Oh yeah! Really good.”

She learned that same day that his name was Yuta Okkotsu. 

The next time she saw him, she learned that he was on his school’s kendo team. Although, it was a little weird the way he reacted when she asked about it.

“That’s why you carry that practice sword, right?” she asked, “You’re just coming off from practice?”

“O-Of course!” he answered with a nervous laugh, “It’s a practice sword…”

Yes, the awkward almost-surprise he gave her was a little odd, but also he was just a little odd. Everything about him held a sort of bashful energy, and yet strangely enough, not an anxious one. He held himself with a lot of confidence, a comfort in himself and his skin that was really rare these days. But not in a boastful way by any means. He seemed like a former wallflower that had truly bloomed.

Ugh, she knew that she shouldn’t have been hyperfixating on him this way. He had a girlfriend afterall. And yet still, when 6pm rolled around, she found herself taking a little extra time at the onigiri shelf, waiting to hear that gentle lilt that always made her heart skip a beat, waiting for—

“Good evening.”

She turned to Yuta with a tired, yet giddy smile, “Good evening.”

He took his spot next to her, looking through the refrigerated bentos and natto just next to the onigiri.

“How was practice?” she asked.

“Oh you know, same old, same old,” he answered, pausing his browsing so he could look her right in the eye, “How about you? How was work?”

“Nothing special, burnt my hand a little on the grill,” she answered, showing off her bandaged palm, “Boss yelled at me for doing it in front of customers. Same old, same old.”

Yuta was instantly concerned, “Oh no, are you alright?”

“Meh,” she shrugged, “It hurts a bit still, but I’ll live.”

He reached for her hand and then paused, looking at her for permission, “May I?”

She blushed a little at that, “Oh! Uh, s-sure…”

Yuta proceeded, taking her hand into his own. He ran his thumbs along the length of her bandages, applying just the slightest pressure. He was gentle with her, just like he seemed to be with everything. She found herself getting lost in that touch, in the idea of what it would be like to feel that sort of gentleness everywhere else…

“Alright, how’s that feel?”

She blinked out of her thoughts and looked back down to her hand, processing just how it felt. And to her shock, the stinging had actually gone away.

“W-Woah!” she said, holding her hand up to her face, “It feels great! What are you, a sorcerer or something?!”

Yuta laughed, waving her off, “No, no, nothing like that. It’s just a circulatory massage. Helps with the pain.”

“I’ll say,” she said in disbelief, waving her hand back and forth freely.

“You should still keep the bandage on for a couple of days though, to let it heal.”

“Will do, will do. Thank you,” she smiled, still completely engrossed in the painlessness of her hand, “This birthday isn’t totally shit after all.”

“Today’s your birthday?”

She froze. Shit, did she say that out loud? Her face turned bright red at the realization. God, she must’ve felt like she was totally fishing for a compliment or “happy birthday” or something now! She couldn’t be more embarrassed.

“Yeah, ‘fraid so,” she finally answered, trying to play it cool as the picked up a spicy tuna onigiri, looking over the ingredients on the back.

“And you’re spending it buying food from the konbini?!”

Okay, he seemed genuinely shocked and a little upset by that (what a sweetheart), so maybe he didn’t think she was totally weird for bringing this up out of nowhere.

“Living the dream, I know,” she chuckled.

Yuta shook his head and tutted, “No, no — I don’t think so.” He grabbed the onigiri out of her hand and placed it back on the shelf.

“Hey— My dinner!” she whined.

“We can do better than this. What do you say to some sushi?”

She blinked, genuinely surprised, “S… Sushi?”

Yuta rubbed the back of his head, an embarrassed little blush spreading on his cheeks, “Well, it’ll be conveyor belt, but I know a really good place if that’s okay with you.”

He clocked her awestruck expression and immediately panicked a little.

“Oh no, that was way too forward wasn’t it?” he looked down, a nervous muttering she’d never seen from him taking over, but maybe one that he’d lived with for a long time before, “Of course you don’t wanna spend your birthday with a total stranger…”

She finally was able to catch up to all this and realize just what he was saying.

“N-No, it’s not that!” she insisted, “I’d love to get dinner with you. It’s just…”

He tilted his head curiously.

“What about Rika?”

Yuta’s eyes widened a little, “Rika?”

“She’s your girlfriend right? I hear you talking about her or to her on the phone a lot,” she paused, alarming as she realized just how that sounded, “N-Not that I’m eavesdropping on you or anything!! I-I just overheard and well, ah crap…”

Yuta’s expression steadily softened through her babbling as he realized just what she was talking about, what she did and didn’t know about Rika. He smiled as he processed just how worried she’d been, and what exactly she’d been worried about.

God, was she cute.

“Don’t worry about the eavesdropping thing, I didn’t take it that way.”

She sighed, relieved.

“And don’t worry about Rika, either. She’s not my girlfriend.”

“No?” she lit up.

Yuta shook his head, “No. We’re close but she’s… Well she’s my sister, basically.”

She cocked a brow at him, “Basically?”

He laughed a little awkwardly, “It’s uh, it’s a little complicated. But really, you have nothing to worry about. I’m perfectly and pathetically single.”

If she were being honest with herself, that sounded totally like a red flag. A girl that was like a sister to him? That had cheater, cheater pumpkin eater written all over it. And yet, there was something about his demeanor, the look in his eyes and the way he said it, that felt genuine. That made her inclined to believe him.

And for a sushi dinner with the cute konbini guy she’d been pining over for weeks, that was good enough for her.

She grinned in a way that had Yuta’s blush returning full force.

“Lucky me.”

#yuta okkotsu #okkotsu yuuta #yuta okkotsu x reader #yuta okkotsu x you #yuta okkotsu x y/n #yuuta okkotsu #yuuta okkotsu x reader #yuuta okkotsu x you #jjk okkotsu #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk yuta #jjk yuuta

[theslowesthnery]

random DLC story trailer thoughts

honestly happy we're getting more of marika and how the golden order came to be, especially since the origins seem to be pretty Fucked Up. the more fucked up marika is, the better, please just let her have done massively fucked up things without any "oh well it was for the greater good" handwringing, i would genuinely love that

i'm sorry but i can't take messmer seriously, he looks so fucking stupid to me. everything he wears from his helmet to his greaves look like they're too big for him, he looks like a kid playing dress-up

(also i'm sorry but i'm already fed up with seeing him everywhere)

marika crushing an omen/crucible-related civilization, locking everything that remains in a hidden realm? no wonder she wants omen gone and hidden, they're a reminder of what she did (and also proof that she can't just lock them away and be done with it, more will always be born - even through her own body)

reaching a bit, but i do wonder if hewg is originally from the "shadow realm" - it would explain why he fears marika so much, having perhaps witnessed what she did

my theory/prediction is that radagon did not exist yet back at the time shown in the story trailer, that marika was cursed by the giant wickermen (or whoever were controlling them) after she used them to crush the omen/crucible civilization and then abandoned them and imprisoned them in the shadow realm, and she then separated the cursed part of her self into a separate body, which became radagon

if the person in black, surrounded by flames, is the gloam-eyed queen like a lot of people theorize, it would explain why she went on her godslaying spree. i always theorized that the GEQ was marika's sister, an empyrean who also could've become a god, and i wonder now if marika destroying the city shown in the trailer was her crushing the competition

i similarly predicted (based on absolutely nothing) back when the gameplay trailer released that the old man seen in it (in the painting, and with the rune/sword through him) was marika's father, so maybe the city that is being destroyed by messmer and marika's forces is her former home that she's destroying so that they can't rise against her in the future

the official subtitles for the line "a purge without Grace or honor" has grace written with a capital G, and the japanese subtitles use the same word as for the erdtree/golden order's grace, and i think that's interesting. in the end marika herself was the most Graceless of them all?

miyazaki said that the name of the dlc (shadow of the erdtree) has another meaning besides referring to the literal shadow tree, and some people theorize it means that the empyreans' shadows will have something to with it, but i personally don't think so - i think it just refers to the hidden "dark side" of the golden order

i hope one of the miquella followers is rhico (or some version of him), just because it'd be nice that the character wasn't just completely tossed away

edit: oh yeah completely forgot, considering how the entire shadow realm seem to be very strongly connected to marika and her past, i'm very curious to see how the very carian-esque area and NPC will tie in to that

edit 2: considering that both fire and snake are seen as blasphemous by the golden order now, i think either messmer betrayed marika (unlikely, considering how he talks of her in the gameplay trailer), or she just fears his power and therefore made everything related to him a blasphemy after using him to win her victories

i don't know, i've just seen people go absolutely bonkers with the theorizing and trying to connect anything and everything not only in the trailers and screenshots but also in the base game to messmer and miquella and the shadow realm no matter how much they need to reach, and i just. find that really exhausting, so i don't want to do that

i can't remember if i had any other thoughts lol

#elden ring for blacklist

[sigynpenniman]

Julian Bashir Playlist Time!!

Apple Music playlist (if you're a heathen and subscribe to apple music like me) here

I know that there's plenty of people making playlists, but I really feel like this is an under-utilized brand of fan content. Instead of attempting to create a list of songs that Julian would listen to, or a playlist of songs which were all lyrically directly applicable (though there certainly some of those in here) regardless of genre, I tried to create something which captured, above all, his vibes instead, by choosing songs that balance at least somewhat relevant lyrical content with the energy or feel that I associate with the character. What it means matters, but not as much as how it makes you feel. That said, I signed up for apple music and read a TON of those overwrought iTunes store album review descriptions while I was making this, so I have a whole lot to say about all my choices here. In depth explanation of my symbolism and methodology behind each song under the keep reading. (I love tumblr. I want to write 1,000 words of analysis about why I picked songs to represent Julian Bashir and some of you are gonna read it. This is where I get to pretend to be one of those iTunes music writers. I feel joy.)

Good Morning - Two Door Cinema Club TDCC's Gameshow is high on my favorite albums of all time list for nebulous reasons I myself don't really understand. It was this album, though not this song (but one that will pop up later) that actually inspired me to make this playlist to begin with, as for some reason, from the color scheme of the album cover, to the overall vibe, to the ever-present references to illness, injury, surgery and healers in the lyrics, the whole thing feels inescapably Julian to me. And with an opening like I'm a sinner/I'm the victim/I'm an alien when I'm myself/I'm a healer/I'm a fixer/I'm a present danger to my health/I'm so strong/Doing what I'm supposed to do/ There's something wrong/With somebody like me, it's hard NOT to think about Julian when you hear this song, and I can't think of a better way to start this off.

Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood I think there's a joke somewhere about bisexual people all liking Sweater Weather, and yeah, I resemble that remark. Sweater Weather is just good. You'll notice there's a sort of chill-indie-alt-electronic thing going here, and that is very much the vibe I'm sticking with. Sweater Weather slots in beautifully, both sonically and thematically. As the singer looks to warm and protect the person he's with from the cold, you can't help but feel a loving coziness coming off of this one. It always makes me feel cozy, at least, so it's here.

Gooey - Glass Animals I have nothing to analyze here because the artists themselves have said that the lyrics of this song have no meaning, they're just meant to capture a vibe, and capture it they do. Close your eyes and ride the vibes of this one. The energy is right, I love it, it belongs here.

Blue - Mika I could probably write a couple hundred words on Blue alone, in any context. This might be my beloved Mika's magnum Opus. Opening the song with the inherently counterintuitive lyric Blue is a feminine color, Mika manages to pack it ALL into this 3 minute song: questions about gender; concepts of sadness, joy, and their intersections; of the perception of melancholy as a flaw and loving people despite, or maybe because of, those "flaws" and anything else about them; a powerful first person reassurance that made me start weeping in my car the first time I heard it; just the phrase "why are humans cruel to you." And oh boy, ARE there questions of gender. Why is blue NOT considered a feminine color? Is that a good thing, a bad thing? In 3 minutes of artful poetry, Mika manages to wrap up sadness, love, joy, pain, the feminine that exists within the masculine and the masculine that exists within the feminine, in the simple color of blue and then, in one lyric, validates it all. And on a much simpler and more obvious note, this is in fact all a philosophic musing on the symbolic meaning of the color we see Julian wearing almost all the time (when he's not in uniform, almost all his civvies are also shades of blue.) I feel like this is one of those songs that's hard to analyze because it does what music and poetry does best - communicate something that cannot be communicated any other way. With these broad themes of loving others around the things they can't love about themselves, you can decide for yourself if this one is coming FROM Julian or directed AT him, either works. I find myself struggling for exactly the words to explain this one, but listen to it; you'll understand.

Little Dark Age - MGMT Another choice with no obvious lyrical relevance, but the tonal fit was just too good to pass up. The vibes pass.

The City - The 1975 This song is one of several present because it leans on medical symbolism to get its point across, though I would be lying if I said I fully understood what that point was. But the entire second verse, apparently about the song's subject suffering from some kind of illness and reassuring him that the next one's the M.D./You'll be feeling just fine, seems somehow to transmit the discomfort of illness directly to the listener. I don't know how or why, but the effectiveness of the empathy the second half of this song elicits, in me at least, puts it squarely in the "odd medical vibes" category.

Surgery - Two Door Cinema Club THIS is the song that inspired this whole playlist, mostly because of its title and general vibe. Another example (of many) of medical/anatomical references in this album (another of the songs is called Fever, etc), this song just feels like Julian to me.

The Other Side Of Paradise - Glass Animals I really like Glass Animals. That is probably becoming obvious. Aside from its delightfully cohesive vibes, this song opens with what's simultaneously the slyest and most brazen gay lyric I have heard on the radio recently, as the male singer says When I was young and stupid my love left to be a rock and roll star/HE told me... The song seems to be about a man whose male lover left him in pursuit of fame and fortune, and eventually ends up with a woman, leaving the singer behind. It's got simultaneously subtle and obvious gay themes, it's got confused love affairs, it's got so much bisexual energy. I cannot think of anything that could be more Julian.

Sit Next To Me - Foster The People Kind of like Sweater Weather, this whole song is built around a rather cute and sweet "sit next to me," and you can't help but feel a bit warm and cozy when you listen to it. I think it pairs with sweater weather well, and slides in with the rest of the picks very nicely.

Nothing Better - The Postal Service (the original band of the lead singer of Death Cab For Cutie) Another example of heavy surgical symbolism, the very first lyric of this song is Will someone please call a surgeon. This is actually a duet, and the singers speak of their real hearts to represent their emotional ones. Something about Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures always gets me and always will. And it vibes good. It vibes so, so good.

&Run - Sir Sly Sir Sly's &Run is my favorite song for driving too fast. It does an amazing job of musical onomatopoeia, talking about running while making you want to run. It's a song about running out of plans and running as far as you can instead, which is all very "I'm illegal by definition so I went to the farthest possible reaches of space." And like everything else here, it just feels good. It's also one of the only highlights here that I can actually see Julian listening to.

Cosmic Love - Florence and the Machine It's no coincidence that it seems like most of us who are invested in Julian Bashir are some flavor of genderqueer, be it trans, nonbinary, questioning, or something else entirely - the man's got a Gender with a capital G, and there's a whole lot going on in there. Between the words that were written for him on the page, and the words that were actually spoken, and the way he carries himself, Julian always seems caught between the white, western, and frequently toxic masculinity that the writers often seemed to want to imbue him with, and the very different, racially and culturally distinct masculinity Sid actually brought. But there's an undeniable element of the feminine in Julian too, at least by a traditional definition. The presence of this part of him at all, much less the fact that, in-universe, it's the more traditionally "feminine" parts of himself - the caregiving and nurturing aspects - that Julian seems proudest of or to like most about himself, is a large part of what makes his character so interesting, at least to me. So there was no way I was getting out of this without acknowledging that somehow, and I can't think of a better way to acknowledge a complicated relationship with the feminine side of one's own gender than with this world's own Celtic divine feminine, Florence Welch. I can't think of any better artist, at least that I know of, to represent femininity as a nonspecific ethereal goddess-concept. I basically spun the wheel of Florence here, as anything would have worked, but Cosmic Love felt very appropriate for a character who does in fact live in space. There could even be some Garashir in here, I think.

Dream Sweet In Sea Major - ミラクルミュージカル, or Miracle Musical, a sister act made up of members of Tally Hall I also couldn't leave off without acknowledging Julian's affection for classic lounge music, especially since it's the only thing about his taste in music that we actually know. But instead of tacking on some rat pack, instead I'm polishing this off with the incredibly chaotic and somehow also perfectly cohesive and calm Dream Sweet in Sea Major. It's got all of the vibes of a lounge singer but gone completely off the rails, which just seems perfect somehow. And it's also a very nice feeling to be left with, so it seems only right to put it at the end.

and if you've read all of this, I love you. Y'all didn't know I was this into music did you. but I am. oh boy. I AM.

#julian bashir #playlists #Spotify

[bitchfitch]

this is my first attempt at sci fi and its an au for my dnd characters lmao.

The pin pricks of stars blurred together as Babylon's speeder cut through the clear ink of space away from his home, The Jackalope, a well loved but sturdy clunker of a station that drifted had filled its place in the Capital Belt for decades, and towards the long abandoned station that drifted aimlessly just beyond the Capital's pull.

Babylon would return eventually but his curiosity was going to kill him if he didn't follow this lead through. His sisters had said it was a bad idea, that Sanctuary was a death trap, but if it got him one step closer to finaly finding out the truth of his existence then whatever he had to deal with would be worth it.

Docking his speeder was easy, mostly because Sanctuary was big enough that he could just land on one of the loading platforms instead of worrying about proper procedure. 

The lights buzzed on as he climbed out of the speeder, bathing the open docking chamber in blotchy yellow light. 

Probably an old automated procedure, Babylon reasoned to himself. Whatever, it saved him from having to waste battery on the flashlights built into his helmet. 

While still tethered to his speeder he fussed with the controls of his mag boots, bracing himself on one of his speeder's wings as he found the right settings to let him walk instead of float. 

The bay had already been long picked over by other explorers, everything that could be pulled up and carried off had been, but the doors to the airlock, despite their being heavy damage along their faces from where others had failed to cut through them, still stood firm in their place. A busted scanner panel beside them still blinking slowly. Babylon regarded it for a moment and sighed before taking off his helmet.

The vacuum of space stung, it always did, but whatever he was seemed to be made to handle it. The lack of air wasn't much of a problem either, thankfully. Still it was a struggle to get high enough for the panel to see his face, whoever was responsible for this station had been Annoyingly tall, which did mesh well with everything else he knew about his birth family, which was that they were annoying, and tall.

Usually it took a few moments of morphing his face to trick a scanner into letting him pass, but this one folded after just a second, the old doors shuddering open with a groan that was silenced by the empty vacuum of space.

Weak, the software must be ancient to fail that quickly. Babylon grinned to himself as he got his helmet back on, hopefully all the biometric shit in this hell hole will be that easy to fuck with.

Getting through the airlock and into the station itself wasn't difficult, and that was concerning. Airlocks on this type of station either needed a full AI controlling them or a lot of input from whoever was trying to get through, plus someone on the other side to help out if it's needed.

As far as Babylon knew, he was the only person on this ship, yet the interior locks were initiated and opened without his input. He tried to connect to the comms and even found the right channel, but his tentative hello was met only with static. 

He paused before finalizing the sequence. Sanctuary was suspected to be an old experimental station, or it had been before it was abandoned, so maybe this weird airlock system was just a form of automation that never caught on? He told himself that as he let the outer doors slide shut, trapping himself in this airlock as it pressurized before the main door whirred and groaned in protest of having to slide on long unused rails. 

People who managed to get into Sanctuary rarely came back, but those that did all talked about two things.

The first nearly stole Babylon's breath as he drifted into the lobby. The entire room was verdant. Every inch flourishing with thick grey green plant growth. Every wall had moss and weeds spreading from the cracks in the plates, vines climbed twisting trees and crawled along the floor. Shrubs and flowers and strange little ferns sprouted from the thick bed of rich soil that spilled accross much of the floor.

Babylon's mag boots weren't strong enough to reach through the thick earth, leaving him to drift in zero g and having to pull himself along by the untamed branches as he explored. He'd never been in a jungle, or a forest, or any type of planetary terrain really, so this was completely unlike anything he'd ever seen outside of videos and shows about planets.

The second thing survivors tended to mention was the feeling of being watched. A constant nagging that they had Somethings attention. 

Babylon certainly felt that. Even with no cameras visible, and no signs of non plant life, Something was watching him.

"Hey, Like, the silent treatment is cool and everything but maybe we can talk?" He tried, the comms buzzing as he spoke, still only static answered,

He tried again, a different tongue weighing the words, this one being the one his sisters spoke, then another, the one he learned from the rich johns who would visit the Jackalope sometimes, and another, this final one being the one he never used but had always known.

"What would you like to talk about?" came the response, not through the comms, but from the green surrounding him, 

He nearly launched himself out of his skin at the sudden voice, it was strange and artificial yet rough around the edges like a persons',

"Oh crap. Hey, Hi! I'm Babs, and uh, what language are we speaking?" He asked, "And uh, who are you?"

"We are speaking High Genyt, and I am EVR-RD, Sanctuary's AI,"

"High Genyt? What race is that from?" Babylon asked, he could feel his skin crawling with excitement. High Genyt, that was the name of the language he'd always known, the one that he'd never met another speaker of. 

"The Genytar," came the simple response,

"And what can you tell me about them Ardy?" This was it, Finally after years of searching he was getting dome answers,

"Ardy?"

"Yeah, EVR-RD, RD, Ardy. Its a nickname, anyways, Genytars?" 

"Ardy. I like that, But yes, The Genytar are a now extinct race of hyper adaptable lifeforms from sector FY-Wilde. This station was their last ark. A series of Critical System failures resulted in a total crew wipe out about 20 orbital sweeps ago," 

"Total- Oh," Babs floated in silence for a moment, "They're all gone? or- Are the... the bodies still here?"

"Yes, they are all gone, and no, their bodies are long gone. Why do you want to know?" 

"Because nobody taught me this language. They might not all be gone because I am still here, but I don't- Do I look like them? I want- I Need to know, please," 

"Are you attempting to find out if you are a Genytar?"

"Yes, Or I don't know, or like, I know that I do not know what I am and no one has been able to give me any answers. And like, I heard about this ship and that it was super weird, and that it showed up already abandoned around the same time my parents found me- I'm rambling, sorry,"

"Please do not apologize Babs. I do not believe you to be Genytar, but, I can not identify what you would be otherwise," 

"Oh," Babs sighs, "Thanks anyways,"

"What will you do now?" 

"Strange question to get from an AI, but I don't know. I guess I'll just go home, try to find another clue or something," 

"Is your home part of the Capital belt?" 

"Yeah?"

"Is it far?"

"Ardy, what are you getting at here?" 

"There are not many people who speak Genyt. You are the first I've met since they died. And Genyt is the only language I have," there's a pause, which is strange for an AI, "I would appreciate it if you would consider returning,"

Babylon laughed, "Yeah big guy, I'll visit again,"

#there is no universe in which everard isnt obsessed with plants.

[katara0524]

Impromptu Ramblings about the NEO:TWEWY Demo

In case y'all weren't aware, I've been a pretty big fan of TWEWY for a couple years now, and with the sequel coming out next month, the excitement I feel for this game is greater than ever :) I played the Demo for the first time yesterday, and following a couple views of some livestreams of others playing it, I felt like sharing my (very ramble-y) thoughts prior to the release of the full game. This post WILL contain spoilers for both TWEWY and NEO:TWEWY, so if you want to avoid those from now on, please block the tags: #twewy spoilers, #ntwewy spoilers, #neo twewy spoilers, #ntwewy, and #neo twewy ^_^ Oh, and if you wanna keep up with any other posts I make about my experience with this game, please refer to the tag "kat plays neo twewy" :)

-First things first: I have not watched the Final Trailer and I don't plan on doing so to avoid spoilers, especially after the pre-release era of KH3 where a lot of the later trailers spoiled a lot of the endgame content. That being said, I've seen some minor screenshots from the final trailer including what many believe to be characters from the original TWEWY, namely Shiki and Joshua. That is all I know about the Final Trailer and I would very much like to remain as blind as possible going into NEO :)

-The very first cutscene was quite ominous in the sense that this game is likely going to be about "changing fate" (a recently common theme in Squeenix games, which I do appreciate), perhaps leading off from the end of A New Day in the OG and trying to stop an Inversion of Shibuya. Also worth noting that A New Day had similar aspects in which the main character experienced "future visions" of tragic events, although in A New Day these events were not able to be changed, while in NEO it seems like one of the main "powers" our protagonist has is specifically to rewrite these events and avoid a "bad ending." Very interesting indeed!

-I really like the revamped comic book style dialogue scenes, it's much more fluid and modern, which is an excellent direction for the series to take!

-I would love to have an actual PokemonGO knockoff of Final Fantasy creatures, please Squeenix that would be incredibleeeeee

-Also the LINE stickers??? Are so cute???

-I would just like to point out that Fret is an absolute treasure throughout this entire demo, he's hilarious and I will protect him with my life

-UHHHH don't like that Fret picked up some Reaper Pins just out of nowhere.....or the fact that they're apparently popular all over Shibuya.............did y'all not learn anything from the OG game or what lmao

-Okay so when I first got the "curry or ramen" scene and heard NPCs talking about the new curry place replacing the old ramen place I became IMMENSELY distressed that Ramen Don was totally cut from the game because....well, Ramen Don is a King okay?? But I'm glad to learn that no, he didn't fall off the face of the earth, he's still in business and he's the one opening the curry restaurant lolol. PHEW, crisis averted!

-.....I don't like the sudden appearance of a Wall Reaper and being able to read NPC thoughts. Wtf happened when they left the ramen place??? Are they playing the Game alive somehow?

-Okay so I have my own theories about this "Swallow" character and what they're up to but considering this is only the Demo and I still Have No Idea What's Happening, I'm just gonna say that I think Swallow intentionally led Rindo and Fret to the Crossing so they could join the Game. I mean, add in the fact that Swallow still communicates with Rindo during the Game and you've got yourself a suspicious character right there lol

-"Hey they're shooting off fireworks!" Fret honey that's not fireworks oof (see also: "*laughs* I'm in danger")

-WOOOOOO way to traumatize Rindo right off the bat like that LMAOO

-The visuals for the intro are VERY GOOD, the song is pretty decent until it gets all "screamo" (which I absolutely cannot stand sorry lol)

-Shoka is every Customer Service employee ever and I respect that

-Susukichi went from being "meh" to "WOW THIS GUY IS FUN" in the span of 10 seconds and I also respect that (he is also built like an Absolute Unit which is hilarious)

-The Wall Reapers (and just Reapers in general) seem.....way nicer and more helpful this time around?? Like in the OG the Wall Reapers were SO RUDE gfhjgjdfkhn and yeah I'm sure we'll get some like that but the juxtaposition of the first Wall Reaper in the OG compared to the first one in NEO is insane.

-The puzzles are quite a bit more entertaining this time around even if it's generally the same "fetch quest" formula lol

-"Rindo's Group" way to go Fret HFKJDGHSDFKJ mans really left the default name in there lmao

-OKAYOKAYOKAY so to those who aren't aware I am a MASSIVE SIMP for Sho Minamimoto, he's my absolute favorite and I think about him daily. HIS INTRODUCTION IS. INCREDIBLE. I LOVE IT SM.

-GOD hearing him actually SPEAK FULL SENTENCES is just SO SURREAL I love this sm

-Also the remix of his theme???? NEO TRANSFORMATION????? IT'S SO GOOD????????? It's like gone from a Boss Theme to a more triumphant sounding theme and I am HERE for it (every version of Transformation is just INCREDIBLE and getting a new one is even better)

-I Love Him, Your Honor

-Also idk how exactly but it's kinda weird seeing Sho in the OG vs NEO, cuz while he's mostly the same Insane Math-Obsessed Catboy, he's.....calmed down quite a bit?? Like OG made a whole point of how poorly he cooperates with others (not to mention just being completely unhinged and trying to kill everyone), whereas here in NEO he's......actually kinda working with others??? HELLO???? Sir what happened to you and Neku during those 3 years I would love to know all about it

-I guarantee you Sho is still probably scheming shite and will likely pull some total insane BS later down the road, and I am very much looking forward to that. Also, is he looking for a certain Pin or something??? Cuz he keeps talking about different Pins and even mentions "this is just another Psych Pin" like he's actively looking for a Pin to do something with. Maybe it also has to do with the "latent powers of Players" thing he mentioned as well??? What is this dude UP TO oml (also is he in contact with Neku at all?? they're both technically fugitives at this point right?? WHAT HAPPENED AFTER A NEW DAY I AM BEGGING YOU)

-I seems like Sho ALSO has an idea of what's going on in this specific game (even if he won't admit it straightforward). Per his quote "The game's 142,857. Factor it out," he's essentially saying, "This game is a neverending cyle, figure out how to get out of it" (or at least that's what I got from his "cyclic number" nonsense lolol)

-I do like how Sho mostly stays out of sight until he's needed for a battle or assisting with a mission, that's kind of on par with his whole "uncooperative" quirk from the OG, plus he might literally have to stay out of sight of other Reapers and Players considering he's likely breaking the rules of the Game (not surprising considering him and Neku broke practically every rule in the book during OG)

-The nicknames for Sho- I can't- They're so FUNNYYYY GFHJSDFKJ

-He goes from being called "Pi-Face" and "Tabooty" in OG to "Mr. Minami" and "M-Teezy" in NEO LMAOO

-(Wowee I just realized I've been mostly talking about Sho oopsies sorry y'all, this is what I meant by thinking about him almost daily he is THAT much of a fav of mine ghfkjsd)

-Okay RIP Fret and Rindo for not getting literally ANY explanation as to how the Game works OOF, that is kinda cringe that whoever gets the Pin earns points, not whoever erases the Noise (which like I understand but also URRRGGHHH I WANNA SEE THE SQUAD SUCCEED)

-"I should be going home now it's getting late" Oh you sweet summer child-

-Also love the mention of parents in this game???? KH you could learn a thing or two from TWEWY (poor Rindo's mom fhgjkdh)

-KUBO IS HILARIOUS I SUPPORT HIM AND HIS GROSS FACE (also thank you Final Trailer thumbnail for spoiling my suspicions about him very cool smh)

-Kaie is a LAD I also support him, go King type those funky texts I believe in you

-FRET PLS STOP SCANNING FHGJKSDHKJFGHFKJ he's like me when I scan in OG during Weeks 2 and 3 and see Taboo Noise coming after me ghfjdshfj

-Also Rindo can you stay off your phone for TWO SECONDS ik you're trying to figure things out but Fret is a jelly boi and I don't want him to be upset with you my guy

-Sho being an actual sorta mentor to the kiddos?? Who are you sir this is so unlike you ghfgskj what happened to the guy who tried shooting children in the face 8 times over LMAO (granted he's probably just using them but it's still nice to see him actually cooperating and sharing knowledge with the kiddos aaaaa)

-EYO EIJI OJI THE TIKTOK INFLUENCER IS BACK LMAO

-hgjkfshgkjf "we aren't glorifying capitalism on my watch" THATS SO FUNNY TO ME GFHJFSDGHJKS (also an all-orange ensemble is disgusting you deserve jail for one thousand years fkn Cheddar Goldfish Cheezit ass woman)

-WICKED TWISTERS NAME DROP EYOOO we love to see it

-gfhsgjf Poor Rindo embarassing himself for the sake of the Game that's incredible

-R e t u r n t o M O N K E. That is all.

-Dialogue during boss battles is HELLA cool i love that

-HHHHH THE KANON SCENE MADE ME A N G E R Y FRET STOP SIMPING MY GUY says the girl with a Literal Simp Encyclopedia and simps for pixels on a screen daily

-Can't wait to see the other Reapers :eyes emoji:

-CAN'T WAIT TO SEE NAGI MY BELOVED YEAHHHH WOOOOOO AAAAND that's about it for the demo lolol, I absolutely CANNOT wait for next month, this game is gonna be INCREDIBLE holy hell Prepare for more simping, more screaming, and more vibing from Yours Truly :) I fully intend on sharing more general thoughts like this on both Tumblr and Twitter so it's not just reblog-retweet-reblog-retweet with the occasional comment fhgskjd

If you wanna witness my insanity up close and personal I have a Square Enix Discord server called Sea Side Dreamers! You can look it up on Disboard, or you can add me on Discord @Katara0524#9244 for a direct link :) We have topics about Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, NieR, and ofc TWEWY (as well as other topics!), so if you want some good ol' chaos and chitchat, you're more than welcome to join!

#neo twewy #ntwewy #neo twewy spoilers #ntwewy spoilers #twewy #neo: the world ends with you #the world ends with you #twewy spoilers #twewy rindo #rindo kanade #twewy fret #tosai furesawa #twewy sho #sho minamimoto #long post #also shameless Discord plug lmaooo #kat plays neo twewy

[hurricanery]

If You Went Away - pt. 1

A/N: This story is going to be multiple parts. Inspired by this prompt, this prompt & a couple other prompts requesting Amelink fighting & Scout kind of wrapped up in the middle of it. I’m getting a lot of requests for angst and I’m down with writing angst soooo here we go- I put my own twist on it for the purpose of making it multiple chapters and it kinda ended up more depressing than I intended yikesssss. But also, I promise it gets better/more positive. I made Scout a little older in this story (age 5).

_______

Listen here, listen close

You’re the one I love the most

And if you went away

I don’t know what I’d do

_______

(one year ago)

“You should go,” Amelia mumbles, as she lays in bed, facing Link.

Link raises his eyebrows, frowning slightly. “I don’t understand,” he speaks slowly. “What changed?”

Amelia furrows her brows, perplexed. “Well nothing changed, technically, I-”

“When I was first offered this job….before Scout was even born,” Link interrupts. “We decided, together, that there were more important things in our lives.”

“Yeah….” Amelia draws out her response. “And I agreed with you then, I guess. But,” she pauses, reaching over to give Link’s bicep a squeeze. “They offered it again. I….just feel like when an opportunity presents itself more than once….there’s more to consider. It has to mean something, right?”

Link just looks at her blankly. There’s a brief silence before Amelia speaks again.

“It’s the Seattle Mariners,” she smiles encouragingly, “It’s your dream job.”

Link nods in agreement. And Amelia tries to ignore what that does to her. Because, even though she’s being encouraging, she knows what underlying feelings are truly there. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, it’s her own guilt that’s causing her to feign encouragement right now. Her own guilt and fear that she’s trapped him here, in this relationship. In this city. In this job. That when she got pregnant in the first place, she’d rushed them into things and forced a relationship. Forced a lifestyle.

She quickly tries to shake her thoughts. Thinking of anything that will make her feel better about this. Anything that will feel like compromise. “It’s only temporary,” she decides. “It’s not like you’ll be gone forever.”

“Right,” Link agrees, reaching forward to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Amelia’s ear. “Temporary.”

_______

(6 months ago)

‘It’s not like you’ll be gone forever’

Amelia chuckles bitterly at the memory as she walks from her ER consult. It had been 6 months and Link was still away from them, completely consumed by his travel schedule as the Mariners’ team surgeon. He’d come home about once a month, on a weekend, and spend as much time with Amelia and Scout as he could. But, it never felt like enough. Both parents couldn’t ignore the way Scout’s face would fall each Sunday night. When the weekend would close in on them and the knowledge of Link’s early flight out the next day would settle in.

The weekends become less and less. Link’s time allotted to return home becomes more scarce as unforeseen injuries happen on the team. They both know the effect it’s having on Scout.

“Hey, Amelia!” Maggie’s voice interrupts her thoughts as she walks into the attending’s lounge. “I was just going to grab lunch, wanna join me?”

“I’m supposed to FaceTime with Link in a minute, actually…” She trails off as a text message comes in from Link, confirming the call they are about to have.

“Isn’t he coming home this weekend? For Scout’s birthday?”

“Yeah,” Amelia breathes, but she can’t help the worried feeling creeping into her chest. Something about Link’s text seems off. “Yeah, he’s supposed to be.”

Maggie frowns, clearly recognizing Amelia’s distress.

And Amelia forces a smile, sighing deeply. “Well, I’m going to go call him.”

_______

Her intuition was right.

She tries to suppress the anger and resent that threatens to take over as she stares at her phone screen, listening to the words coming out of Link’s mouth. She feels like she’s only gathering certain pieces.

Something about ‘emergency surgery’

And ‘missing his flight’

And ‘I’ll make it up to him I promise’

“We can’t keep doing this to him,” She interrupts Link in the middle of his detailed explanation.

“I know,” he sighs back, through the phone.

“It’s his birthday,” Amelia’s voice almost breaks on the word. “He’s been talking about you all week. What am I supposed to tell him?”

“That I’m sorry,” Link quickly responds. “And I love you guys. And I’ll be home as soon as I can.” He regrets his words the moment he sees Amelia’s face fall in disbelief. Clearly not the response she had wanted.

“Amelia,” He continues. “I did get some good news today.”

“What’s that?”

“I got the approval from my boss. To have Scout with me this summer. When school gets out he can come to all the away games….like we’d planned. What do you think?”

Amelia nods numbly. This was always a part of the plan. They’d promised Scout a summer full of away games when his school break came around. It was something for him to look forward to.

“And you too, obviously,” Link adds. “Whenever your work schedule allows, of course. Think about it! The three of us out here travelling, it’ll be perfect! Everything we’ve wanted!”

Silence falls between them and Amelia zones out momentarily, subconsciously picking at the loose fabric of the couch she’s sitting on in the attending’s lounge.

She doesn’t realize she’s said anything out loud until she feels the shakiness of her own voice.

“I think we should take a break.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I think we should….separate. For a while.”

“Amelia…” Link frowns, trying to understand. “We are basically separate right now, we….we never see each other. Aren’t we already kind of-”

“Exactly,” she interrupts.

“I still don’t understand.”

“I think what you just said sums it up perfectly. We basically already are.”

“Yeah, but. This is temporary...I’m coming back. I’m-”

“I mean something a little more permanent.”

Link doesn’t say a word.

“I mean I don’t think I’ll be joining you guys this summer.”

_______

(summer - present day)

The door hesitates open and she’s glass before him. Hard, stoic, refusing to meet his eyes. She’s staring at his feet. Or maybe at the doormat, which ironically reads ‘welcome’ in all capital letters.

Link almost wants to laugh as he reads the word, glancing down at the ‘welcome’ mat, feeling anything but welcome. He almost wants to laugh, but he doesn’t.  And she’s clearly not in the mood to laugh either.

He can tell by the way that she’s not yet made eye contact that Amelia’s putting up a front. She’s glass. Detached and oh, so stoic.

She sniffs. And clears her throat. And Link reminds himself that glass is shatterable somewhere down the line.

“Hi Amelia,” he speaks. “It’s good to see you. How’ve you been?”

"Just fine. You?” Her voice sounds raspy as she answers him, like she hasn’t spoken properly in a while. Or maybe it’s been so long since he’s heard her voice, that Link doesn’t recognize it accurately. He quickly refutes that idea. Impossible.  

"Good.”

The eye contact they manage to hold is scarce, and Amelia darts her eyes away once again, clamping down on her bottom lip with a row of white teeth.

“So I, uh, I’ve packed up all of his things…” her sentence dwindles as she waits for a nod, or something, from Link.

“It’s all in the living room. There’s not much to do…..should be a quick exchange.” She mumbles, shuffling behind the door a little, an effort to let Link inside.

He takes a deep breath before he steps over the threshold.

Amelia clears her throat as she leads the way into the house. She nods toward the pile of Scout’s luggage in the corner. “Everything’s there,” she states plainly. She then turns the corner briefly, yelling up the stairs. “Scout! Come downstairs, your Dad’s here!”

Link watches curiously as he follows Amelia through to the kitchen. She reaches out for a jar of peanut butter and a spoon that’s already been sitting out, like she’d been snacking on it just before Link arrived.

“Really, Amelia?” Link chuckles, offering a small smile. “Peanut butter out of the jar? Is that your dinner?”

“I haven’t grocery shopped in while,” she mutters, mouth full. And Link picks up on a hint of a smile.

Silence fills the space between them as Link starts to gather up some of Scout’s belongings.

“I would’ve stopped and gotten pizza or something for you guys,” he offers, finally.

Amelia just frowns, shrugging off the idea.

“He’s going to get hungry during the car ride Ames-” he stutters on the nickname, then immediately corrects himself. “Amelia.”

He ignores whatever emotion waves across her features as a result of the nickname use. He thinks it might be shock. But then she’s speaking at him, her tone somewhere between disbelief and defensiveness.

“Why are you accusing me of….” She trails off briefly, frustrated at the direction of her thoughts. “Scout ate dinner an hour ago...you thought I just...wasn’t going to feed him? Or-”

“Can we not do this? Right now? Please?” Link cuts her off.

“Do what? I’m just saying-” She stops talking abruptly by the look on Link’s face. Clearly not in the mood to spend his time arguing.

“I wasn’t trying to accuse you of anything,” he mutters calmly, hands raised in defense.

“Just pack up the car,” she whispers, suddenly entranced by the ingredients on the peanut butter packaging.

And Link does.

And Amelia busies herself with dishes as Link moves in and out of the house, loading luggage into his car.

_______

Link’s down to the last few items, heading to the front door, when Scout finally comes running down the stairs.

“Dad!” The 5-year-old yells excitedly.

He turns around just in time to witness his little man, having just jumped over the last few steps of the stairs, collapse against him, hugging himself to Link’s legs.

Link chuckles, setting down the stuff he was carrying. “Hey bud! I am so happy to see you! Look at you, you’re so big!”

Scout steps back, looking up at his Dad. “Mom said we get to go to baseball games all summer!”

“That’s true,” he ruffles Scout’s hair. “And…” He pauses for dramatic effect. “You get to meet the baseball players, too.”

Scout opens his mouth wide in excitement. There’s practically a sparkle in the kid’s eye and Link loves the sight of it. He has his mother’s eyes, and Link loves the sight of that, too.

“Want to help me finish loading up the car, bud?”

Scout nods enthusiastically, following his Dad outside.

The house is quiet now, and Amelia listens from the kitchen to the distant sounds of her son babbling excitedly outside. An aching feeling rises in her chest and she tries her best to suppress it. She pulls herself together and makes her way toward the front hallway.  Link re-enters the house with Scout trailing behind him moments later.

“You all packed up?” Amelia tries to sound excited as she asks Scout, but her voice just sounds thin and strained.

“Yep!” Scout replies, his energy radiating in such a way that he can barely stand still in his position on the front porch.

“Okay, then. Guess it’s time to go,” Amelia mutters.

And with that Scout takes off, sprinting towards the car eagerly and yelling back at his Dad. “Dad, come on! Come on let’s go!”

“Wait Scout, get back here!” Link yells after him. “Come say goodbye to your Mom first.”

But Scout is already inside the car, climbing into the backseat and mumbling enthusiastically to himself.

“Scout did you hear me?!” Link is starting to sound a little exasperated.  

Still no compliance from the young boy.

“Scout!”

“He heard you, he heard you!” Amelia interrupts, forcing a tight smile. Link looks back at her. “It’s fine, really. We already said goodbye.”

Link frowns. “Okay, but still-”

“Dad!” Scout suddenly yells from the car, interrupting them. “Can we get pizza on the way?!”

Amelia sucks in a breath. But then immediately tries to hide her pain, because this whole interaction just stings.

“Uhhhh,” Link draws out his reaction. “I’ll think about it, buddy. I know you already ate. So we’ll see-”

“Can you just go, please?” Amelia interrupts harshly, her head hanging low, in an attempt to hide her face.

Link frowns, taking in Amelia’s demeanor. Her neck is flushed and she’s clearly upset. And clearly trying to hide it.

“Amelia, I’m sorry,” he mumbles, reaching for her wrist.

He doesn't know why he does it. Muscle memory maybe. An attempt to comfort the woman that looks so breakable before him.

She recoils from his touch, snatching her wrist out of his grasp faster than he’d expect from someone seemingly so apathetic.

She finally looks at Link, and it practically kills him. The way her face twists when she’s trying not to cry.

“Please,” she rasps. “Please just go.”

And Link complies. Amelia wraps her trembling fingers around the door knob as Link goes to leave.

He steps out onto the porch, turning to face Amelia. He wants to say something. And by the look in Amelia’s stinging eyes, he needs to say something. He goes to open his mouth, not sure what’s going to come out, when Amelia swiftly shuts the door.

He stands there, frozen.

Long enough to hear the broken sob from the other side of the door.

Long enough to feel his heart sink, and for an ache to develop in the back of his throat.

But he turns around. He forces a smile on his face and walks toward the car, locking eyes with his bright-eyed son in the back seat. He walks away from Amelia.

_______

#amelink #amelink fanfic #amelinkfic #amelia shepherd #atticus lincoln #ALSO THE SONG FROM THIS TITLE IS FROM EARLY GREYS AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH AMELINK BUT I LOVE IT AND THOUGHT IT FIT #amelia x link #amelinkfanfiction #my writing #greys anatomy fanfic #grey's anatomy fanfic #grey's anatomy fic

[raccoonhearteyes]

Clarke vs. The Hot Customer

Meanwhile in DC, CIA Agent Lexa Woods and NSA Agent Anya Forrest sit across the desk with Homeland Security General Indra Beckman.  

Beckman starts, “Last night at 18:00, CIA operative Costia Daniels was killed in action. Before her death, she sent the entire Intersect Project to a civilian, a top-secret mission known only among those with the highest clearance in the CIA. The project consisted of every CIA mission and intel since the CIA’s founding in 1947. All contained in a supercomputer. The goal was for the intel to be downloaded into the human brain. While it has yet to be tested, it would give the agency’s top agents every piece of information necessary to complete their missions, without having to read every file, look through every photo, and analyze every document. This project is now in the inbox of one Clarke Griffin. As I’m sure you can guess, this is not ideal. The recipient’s unsecured g-mail means that every terrorist and their mother can track who it went to. And they will go after them without hesitation in order to get their hands on our intelligence.”

“Why did she send it to a civilian instead of a CIA contact?” Anya asks.

“We don’t know. As far as we can tell, she’s just some random college dropout. She works at a Buy-More. Your job is to find Clarke Griffin, find out what she knows, and download the e-mail yourselves so our nation’s secrets are not floating around in the head of some idiot civilian.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clarke wakes up on her bedroom floor to the blaring alarm on her nightstand. She’s groggy, and doesn’t quite remember why she apparently passed out on the floor instead of changing into pajamas and climbing into her bed.

Slowly, the memories of last night trickle in. She remembers a hot pocket, going to her room to play video games, and… an e-mail from Costia? That can’t be right. They haven’t spoken in years… But she distinctly remembers getting an e-mail from her, then a bunch of weird pictures, and that’s it.

She goes over to her computer to try and reread the email, but the thing won’t turn on. It seems to be fried from the inside. “Great, so not only did Costia ruin my life, she sent me a computer virus that destroyed my computer?” Clarke wonders.

Clarke’s still a little woozy from the unending strobe light of incomprehensible images her brain was exposed to the night before, so she skips breakfast, and thanks her past self for not even changing out of her work clothes so she can just walk right out the door and head to the Buy-More.

Raven is sitting at the Nerd Herd help desk waiting for her.

“You never logged on to LoL last night,” Raven complains. “Yeah, I got a weird e-mail from Costia and it torpedoed my computer.”

“I’m sorry what? Costia? Costia Daniels? The one that ruined your life and got you stuck working at a Buy-More with me?”

“The one and only.”

“What did she want?”

“I don’t know. It was a weird e-mail. It spazzed through a bunch of images and then fried my hard drive.”

“What a bitch.” “Yup.”

It’s a slow day at the Buy-More so Raven and Clarke spend most of the day chit chatting about nothing, planning their next video game all-nighter, and talking about starting their own electronics company to beat out the Buy-More. It’s an idea they’ve talked about for years, but is nothing more than a pipe dream. Neither of them have the capital to get that thing off the ground. No matter how many engineering degrees Raven collects. Eventually they fall into a game of “Guess what that customer is thinking.”

“I am going to hoard this for when the nuclear apocalypse hits us and toilet paper is scarce,” Raven says about the guy with 100 rolls of toilet paper and nothing else in his cart.

“I need a copy of Die Hard for every TV in my house,” Clarke gruffs about the old many with 8 copies of Die Hard in his basket.

The two are so enthralled in their game that they hardly notice a customer approach the help desk.

In a high-pitched valley girl voice, Clarke says, “I’m getting this video camera so I can finally make a sex tape with my boyfriend!” Raven laughs way harder than Clarke thinks the joke earned, but then the customer clears her throat and Clarke whirls around. The customer raises her eyebrows in surprise.

“Um… I… did you? That wasn’t… Hi, welcome to the Nerd Herd. How can I help you?”

Clarke chokes on her tongue a little when she realizes just how beautiful the customer is. She’s wearing tight fitting jeans, a tank top, and an unbuttoned flannel over her shirt. Clarke’s gaydar lightly pings in the back of her mind. Her hair is a mane of curly brown locks. She has a pair of sunglasses perched on the top of her head, and the greenest eyes Clarke has ever seen. When her gaze flicks back up to make eye contact, there’s something… intense about the way this girl looks at her.

“I’ve been having phone troubles. It doesn’t seem to be receiving calls.”

“Can I have a name for the intake form?”

“Lexa.”

“Well Lexa, I’ll see what I can do.”

Clarke fiddles around with the phone, looking for external damage or immediately obvious reasons for malfunction. When she finds nothing evident, she tells Lexa, “It must be something internal, I’ll take it to the back and see what’s going on. Come back in about an hour, and it should be all set.”

“That sounds perfect. Thank you…” Lexa pauses waiting for a name

“Clarke.”

“Thank you, Clarke. I’ll see you in an hour.”

As Lexa turns to walk away, Clarke stares at her ass and says a quiet, “Bye Lexa.”

“HEY CLARKE! You telling this customer goodbye or are you announcing that you’re bi?” Raven says a little too loudly for it to not be intentional.

Lexa turns to flash a smile at Clarke, and Clarke turns to Raven and says, “Reyes, I will kill you in your sleep.”

An hour spent tinkering in the repair shop, and the phone is back to fully functional. Clarke waits at the help desk for Lexa to return. This time she ensures that she’s not mid-game so she doesn’t embarrass herself a second time in front of this customer. She most certainly notices when Lexa walks into the store. This time, the flannel is tied around her waist and Clarke stares at the tattoo curling around her bicep. Then she stares at the biceps themselves and considers tracing the lines with her tongue. Scolding herself for being just as big of a perv as fellow Nerd Herders Jasper and Monty, she smiles and pointedly does not stray from making eye contact. Lexa is less successful as she sneaks a peek down Clarke’s shirt that may have one or two fewer buttons done up this time around.

“What’s the verdict doc?” Lexa asks, leaning into Clarke’s space at the counter.

“All fixed,” Clarke smiles.

“How do I know it works?”

Clarke grins, “Aha, watch this.”

She digs her own phone out of her pocket and dials a number. She waits a few seconds until the phone in Lexa’s hand starts to vibrate and “NERD HERD HOTTIE” pops up on the screen.  

“See? Good as new”

“Thank you, Clarke. I really appreciate it,” Lexa says, and turns to leave the store. Clarke’s bubble of hope pops as she watches her walk away. But then, after a few steps, Lexa picks up her phone, scrolls through a screen and lifts the phone to her ear.

A few feet behind her, Clarke’s phone buzzes on the counter. She answers.

“Do you want to get dinner tonight?” Lexa asks.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They agree to meet at Grounders at 7:00. Lexa arrives 15 minutes early and waits at the entrance. She’s wearing a green button up, tight grey pants, and her hair is done up in a neat braid. She has a stun gun tucked into her jacket, a knife hidden in each boot, and a blade laced within the braid. But this is supposed to look like a first date, not a mission, so she tries to make herself look nervous by shifting her weight from one leg to the other, and gets ready to flirt some information out of her mark.

Clarke steps out of an Uber at 7:06 wearing a light blue sundress that makes her look even more like a ray of sunshine. It’s a stark contrast from the unisex Nerd Herd uniform, and Lexa can’t help but give her a once over. Twice maybe thrice if she’s being completely honest. “I thought you might have changed your mind,” Lexa confesses, looking at her watch.

“Of course not! Just bad LA traffic,” Clarke replies and leads them into the restaurant.

Conversation is easy. They make each other laugh. The waitress comes over three times in 45 minutes before either of them have even glanced at the menu. Lexa assures the waitress that they do, in fact, know how to read, and a few minutes later they actually order their food. Neither can stop themselves from long looks and bashful smiles. Clarke learns that Lexa just moved to town and is still looking for the right fit job. They talk about their childhoods and interests. Eventually, they stumble on the topic of whether or not it’s weird that Lexa asked out her phone repair woman. Clarke immediately reddens at the memory of the first words Lexa heard her say. Clarke apologizes for her having to overhear the game she plays with Raven at the Buy-More.

“Speaking of which, how does a girl as beautiful and smart as you end up working for the Nerd Herd?” Lexa asks incredulously.

“That’s kind of a long story. The spark notes version is that I am one semester shy of a computer science degree at Stanford. My senior year, my former best friend and roommate Costia framed me for cheating and got me kicked out of school. No explanation. Since then I haven’t really had the drive to finish the degree. Or trust anyone. I’ve really just been surviving ever since. No sense in living when everything you loved is gone, right? Sorry, that was probably a little heavy for a first date…”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Lexa assures. The name Costia did not go unnoticed, so Lexa presses on, “What ever happened to that Costia girl?”

“The funny thing is I haven’t really thought about her in a few years, but the last two days it’s been at nagging in my mind. I actually got an e-mail from her yesterday, but all it contained was a virus that fried my computer,” Clarke shrugs.

The waiter interrupts to fill their wine glasses, and Lexa’s opportunity to press more about this e-mail vanishes as Clarke switches the subject completely, and they fall back into easy conversation, longing and somewhat thirsty looks, and grinning at each other.

Lexa pays their check while Clarke runs to the bathroom, and they have decided that 3 hours taking up this restaurant’s table is probably long enough. Yes, it’s a mission, but Lexa is genuinely enjoying talking to this girl. She’s sweet and funny, and looks damn good in that dress.

“Can I drive you home?” Lexa asks.

The drive is a comfortable silence. Lexa’s hand rests on Clarke’s knee and mindlessly draws patterns on her thigh until Clarke intertwines their fingers. The drive ends too quickly as they pull up to the complex where Clarke lives.

Lexa walks Clarke to her door. Clarke’s walk slows to a crawl, trying to prolong her time with Lexa as much as possible. But the trip from the car to the stoop is only so long, so she settles for pretending to struggle to find her keys. God she wants to kiss her. She wants to kiss her so badly she hasn’t listened to a word Lexa has said because she can’t think about anything else. Lexa pauses in front of the door, and shuffles a bit closer to Clarke.

“Goodnight, Clarke”, she says as she leans in. Clarke closes her eyes in anticipation, and then feels Lexa’s lips land just left of the mark. Lexa places a chaste kiss on the corner of Clarke’s mouth, then turns to walk away. She turns back with a wink and a wave as Clarke unlocks her front door, and melts to a puddle once she’s crossed the threshold.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lexa paces outside the front of the Buy-More while on the phone with the General. “Beckman, she’s just a normal girl. She hasn’t done anything wrong. I don’t even think the e-mail made it to her. She said she hasn’t heard from Costia since college!” “Agent Woods, Daniels was one of our top agents. There must be a reason she sent it to her. Now, go find out if she’s just a really good liar, or if she’s actually as innocent as you seem to think.” She hangs up without a greeting or dismissal.

Lexa tries to shake off the conversation, and walks through the Buy-More doors to go find Clarke, who at the moment is helping someone pick out a blender. Lexa pretends to be interested in a video camera and presses random buttons while waiting for Clarke to be free.

“Looking at cameras for our sex tape?” Clarke asks with a cheeky grin.

Lexa rolls her eyes and replies, “No, I was just in the neighborhood and wanted to say hi. I had fun last night.”

Clarke lights up with a goofy grin and thinks about how she didn’t kiss her last night. Clarke eyes her lips, and catches Lexa doing the same. She does a quick scan of the floor, hoping to confirm that no manager is there to catch her making out with a girl while on the clock. She’s made it almost a full 360 when it happens.

She sees a man standing in the DVD section. He doesn’t look that much different than a normal customer, but once she sees the scar on his neck, images flash before her eyes. The scar. The man’s name, and seven different aliases. A Russian Prison manifest. A rank within Russian Intelligence operations. They flash before her eyes in rapid succession, pulling the information to the forefront of her brain, and making her a little dizzy with the completely unconscious recall of information she doesn’t remember learning in the first place. The images stop and her eyes refocus

“Lexa, this is going to sound crazy, but that man in the DVDs section is a Russian spy and he

is armed to kill. Don’t ask me how I know that, I just do.”

 Clarke watches Lexa’s eyes widen in alarm. “Holy shit, you downloaded it.”

“What?”

“The Intersect.” “The what?” “I have to get you out of here.”

Lexa grabs Clarke’s hand and pulls her towards the back of the store.

“Lexa, what is going on.” She doesn’t answer. Instead she goes into the breakroom, punches a series of numbers into the vending machine, and watches the machine slide to the right to reveal a passageway. Lexa pulls Clarke through, ignoring her questions and utter shock at what is going on. Clarke is led down some stairs into a conference room with screens taking up a full wall, a wall full of weapons, and a video conference call happening at the table in the center. An angry looking Asian woman sits at the table talking to the screen with a black woman with more medals on her military coat than Clarke knew existed. 

Lexa interrupts their conversation with, “She’s the Intersect.”

“She what?”

“She’s the Intersect. She downloaded it. She just recognized a Russian operative upstairs.”

The other women in the room and on the screen look shocked and horrified.

“So it works?” the woman on the screen asks. “WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. WHERE AM I? WHAT IS THE INTERSECT? WHY IS THERE A SECRET BASE IN THE BUY-MORE? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?” Clarke yells, finally getting Lexa’s attention.

Lexa starts, “My name is Lexa Woods. I work for the CIA.”

“Anya Forrest, Colonel in the NSA.”

“And I’m General Indra Beckman, head of Homeland Security”

Clarke begins to laugh hysterically. “Did Raven put you up to this? She always goes WAY TOO BIG or way too small for pranks. Jeezus how much did she spend on this?!” She wanders the base touching weapons, poking screens, and searching for a hidden camera.

“This isn’t a joke, Miss Griffin,” Beckman interrupts.

The tone sobers Clarke immediately.

Beckman continues, “Three days ago, CIA operative Costia Daniels sent you an email. That email contained every secret the CIA has in what was called the Intersect Project. That information is now in your head. Until a new Intersect can be built, the CIA and NSA’s number one priority will be protecting you.”

“I’m sorry, what now?” Clarke asks.

“You will assist in missions as needed.”

Clarke is, again, much too stunned to grasp anything that was just said. Instead, she asks every question that has run through her mind since she thought she was about to kiss Lexa at work to the current moment. Costia was CIA? Why did she send it to me? How does it work? Can I get it removed? You’re sure this isn’t an over the top prank? Costia is dead?

Lexa, Anya, and Beckman patiently answer every question Clarke has. For the most part, they are very understanding of the barrage of questions. The questions continue for about thirty minutes, but eventually die down. This is real. Clarke will be working with the CIA. Other countries will try to find the Intersect, so she is in danger. She is now their most important asset, and they will protect her at all costs. She doesn’t really have a choice in this.

“I didn’t ask for this,” Clarke states. “We know, but your country is calling,” Beckman answers.

General Beckman hangs up the call, Anya goes back to cleaning an enormous gun, Lexa starts to organize files, and Clarke… Clarke sits at the table staring at her hands. Deep in thought, and too stunned to form coherent thoughts. After ten minutes, she takes a deep breath and addresses Lexa.

“So that date then?”

Lexa reads the implied question and answers, “Was part of my mission to find out what you knew.”

“Ah.”

“Clarke.”

“I don’t know why I thought it was anything else. No one that model hot dates a girl from the Nerd Herd. Is that like a requirement for spy work?”

Lexa cocks her head like a confused puppy.

Clarke glances between Anya and Lexa, and waggles her fingers between the two of them. “You know, the mind-blowing hotness? I mean, it works. Girl that looks like you asks me to jump off the roof and I’d probably do it without asking any follow up questions. Of course it was all fake. You’re probably straight. Really deluded myself into this one. Big yikes.”

Anya looks up from the barrel of her gun and chuffs, “Definitely not straight”

Lexa blushes but doesn’t disagree with Anya. Instead she addresses Clarke directly. “You do realize that we will need to continue dating, right?”

Clarke continues rambling to herself about being an idiot for thinking a girl like Lexa was into her, but then the content of Lexa’s question sinks in. Her brain jolts like a record scratch. “Huh?”

“It’s the perfect cover for why I’m suddenly in your life and may suddenly vanish from it. I can keep a close eye on you when you’re not at work, and it won’t seem suspicious if I stay over. During the day, Anya will work at the Buy More with you.”

Clarke still hasn’t wrapped her head around “continue dating” so instead asks, “I’m dead, right? That Russian operative in DVDs killed me and I’m bleeding out on the Buy-More floor, right? Because there is no way the US government just asked me to fake date a bombshell agent for the safety of our country.”

Anya finishes reassembling her gun, looks up at the newly christened fake couple, and says, “Believe it, babe.”

#clexa #chuck au #lexa #clarke griffin #chapter 2 #slow burn #fake dating #clexa chuck au #cia #formatting is a bitch going from word to this #anyone have recs for how its not?

[rustbeltjessie]

TRUST YR STUPID FUCKING HEART (a playlist)

[This playlist and accompanying text were made for Witchsong in March 2016. But Witchsong has since gone dark, and 8tracks, where the playlist was hosted, has also gone dark. I still love this playlist/piece, so I decided to post it here in its entirety, and round up links to the songs. (I tried to remake the playlist on Spotify but unfortunately a few of these tunes aren’t available there!)]

Lizzo - En Love

M.I.A. - Fire Fire

Little Esther - I’m A Bad, Bad Girl

The Last Shadow Puppets - Bad Habits

Rilo Kiley - Portions for Foxes

Worriers - Unwritten

Colleen Green - Whatever I Want

The I Don’t Cares - Just A Phase

Thurston Moore - Psychic Hearts

The Kills - Fuck the People

Pixies - The Holiday Song

Dum Dum Girls - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

El Vy - Need A Friend

The Cars - Dangerous Type

The Make*Up - White Belts

The Mo-Dettes - White Mice

Thee Headcoatees - Ça Plane Pour Moi

Huggy Bear - Pansy Twist

Bikini Kill - I Like Fucking

Mika Miko - Sex Jazz

Dresden Dolls - Dirty Business

Screaming Females - Triumph

(+ a bonus track that isn’t on the playlist: Jolie Holland - Springtime Can Kill You)

It is springtime, and springtime can kill you (just like it did poor me). The light is clearer and hangs on longer in the sky each day, the birds are all singing riotous songs in the treetops. A few days ago, it was seventy degrees; I drank iced coffee and resisted the urge to cut the sleeves off all my t-shirts. It is springtime, and I am so damn restless I’m about ready to tear my skin off. I can’t focus on anything. I pick up a book, read a few pages, put it down again. I start a poem, write a few lines, quit. My notebooks are full of Jenny Holzer-esque truisms that I write in all caps. YOU WILL GET SO TIRED OF WEIGHING THE POTENTIAL CONSEQUENCES. SOMETIMES YOU WILL BE READY TO SAY “FUCK IT” AND FOLLOW YR HEART. BE A DRUNKEN SLUT. STOP THINKING. IT’S SO TIRING. TRUST YR STUPID FUCKING HEART.

I just want to trust my stupid fucking heart. Or maybe I just want something that makes my stupid heart beat faster.

I am so tired of weighing the potential consequences. When I was younger, I usually leapt into things without caring what the result would be. (And now I can’t believe I didn’t put that Shivvers song on this playlist: when I was younger, when I was younger, when I was younger.) I went for what felt good, or even bad, as long as I was feeling something. As long as it made me feel alive. But there were enough adverse consequences that I began to grow afraid. I was often on the verge of eviction, because I did things like spending my rent money on road trips. I hurt people. I disappointed people. Friends and family started telling me that I was wasting my life.

…some might say that you and I have wasted our lives so far. Yes, we have had our hearts broken more than most. (We’ve broken some hearts, too.) We’ve had brushes with the law; and we’ve dealt with pregnancy scares and unemployment and spent many mornings too hungover to even move. But we have also experienced so much poetry, seen so much beauty, received so much love. We have had more fun in our short lives than most people ever get to have; so how could we ever consider it a waste?

-from something I wrote in 2006

Maybe I still want to waste my life, if wasting my life is what it takes to feel alive. To paraphrase Dazed & Confused, a movie I watched over and over when I felt those first reckless, restless stirrings in my teenage body: I need some good old, worthwhile, visceral experience. I want to go out into the wild, twisting night, want to take drugs, get laid, maybe get in a fight. Except I don’t do drugs anymore and I don’t get in fights anymore and no, I won’t spend all my rent money on a road trip. There are certain things I’m not willing to risk, and that’s for the best. But I am tired of worrying about what other people think; tired of not doing what I want to do because it might hurt or disappoint someone in my life. I don’t want to hurt anyone, of course not, but it’s my life and it’s springtime and my heart is saying go. I want to fuck. I want to dance. I want to smash it up. I want sudden intense connections with interesting strangers. I want to take long drives in search of coffee and trouble. (Remembering that spring so long ago when I drove the seven hours from Chicago to St. Louis just to get coffee at a Waffle House.) I want to rip my tights, walk along the train tracks, get my boots all covered in good mud. I want, I want, I want. No, I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I am tired of not being myself. And I’m bad news, baby, I’m bad news.

I’m just a traveling girl with a wild mane of wavy red hair, holes in my tights, all my clothes smelling of smoke. I can roll a cigarette while driving down the freeway at eighty miles an hour. I can get drunk as shit and get two hours of sleep and drive from one town to another, then do it all again the next night. I can find my way anywhere. I can get lost anywhere.

-from something I wrote in 2007

I dye my hair red again every spring. No matter what other colors I might dye it the rest of the year, in spring I metamorphose back into a redhead. I was born with red hair but it faded to a drab brown when I hit puberty, some shitty twist of fate, so I became a bottle redhead. Red hair is fiery, brazen, witchy. (Redheads used to be burnt at the stake as witches, because it was believed they had magic powers.) Red is the color of anger and lust, love and rage. The color of blood and lipstick and my stupid, wildly beating heart. Girls like me are meant to have red hair.

It’s springtime, and I’m a wild redheaded girl for life. So take me out tonight. Take me anywhere, I don’t care, I don’t care. Take me to where the rough edges of the night meet the back alleys. Take me to the rooftops and fire escapes of your town. Take me to all-nite diners, where we can get coffee-buzzed and plot to take over the world. Let’s walk around. Let’s drive too fast on backroads. I don’t need your love, I just need a friend.

I still want all the same old dumb shit I’ve always wanted. Spontaneous adventures, crushes, mix tapes. Music I can feel in my guts, in my bones, whether it’s hip-hop or the punk rocks. Sneaky eyes and sleeveless t-shirts. Sex and danger. In the immortal words of Henry Rollins: I want to fuck on the floor and break shit. Yeah, I like fucking. I’m always restless, and next to wandering, sex is one of the few things that eases my restlessness. And I believe in the radical possibilities of pleasure, babe. I do, I do, I do.

I’ve lost some friends because I’ve failed to grow up properly. These friends used to be just like me (you fuckers used to be just like me), but they went straight. I don’t mean straight as in heterosexual, I mean straight as in normal. They became capital-G Grown Ups. They got advanced degrees and nine-to-fives and stopped making zines and got their tattoos removed. I’m an adult, too. I have a kid, and a writing career; I pay my bills instead of going on ill-advised road trips, I don’t go on benders or do drugs anymore. But I also haven’t given up crushes or adventure or art or punk; I’m still making zines and giving myself stick ’n’ poke tattoos. I’ve still got that steel-toed spark and that teenage j.d. twitch. Maybe they’re bitter because they thought growing up meant giving all that up.

We can have all of it! We can be mamas and healers and have love and morals and sweetness and good things in our lives, but we don’t have to give up the rest—we can also be wild punk rock goddesses of destruction and fuck and fight and drink and smoke and swear and make mad art, goddamnit!

-from something I wrote in 2013

I should’ve known something was up the last time I saw M.—before she decided she hated me, when I still thought we’d be friends for life—when she said: “I’m over Amanda Palmer. It’s not cute to tell young girls that it’s okay to be fucked-up.” That stunned me, because she was once a fucked-up girl, just like me. She and I used to listen to Dresden Dolls albums and talk about how eerily close to our own lives they were, how it was like AFP had looked into our souls and made songs out of them. But maybe that’s the other thing. It’s not just that M. and the others gave up their former passions. They also regret that they ever lived that way. They regret the days of chronic unemployment and ill-advised road trips, the crazy-mad love affairs, the all-nite diner marathons, the epic meals we made from what we found in dumpsters. And I don’t. No matter how I’ve changed, or how many of those things I don’t want anymore, I could never ever regret those days. They made me who I am, and they gave me so many stories to tell. To all the ones who thought they knew me best, a test to prove your prowess. Who was mine in ’99? I want last names, and current status.

No, I don’t want to wind up on the verge of eviction, or have my electricity shut off. I don’t want to hurt anyone. But it is springtime, and I am so tired of weighing the potential consequences. And I’m just a redheaded restless punk rock goddess of destruction for life, and I still want all that shit that makes my stupid, reckless heart beat faster. Loud music, caffeine, adventure, sex. If you’re like me, you’re feeling the same way. So:

WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. STOP THINKING. IT’S SO TIRING. TRUST YR STUPID FUCKING HEART.

Get out, get out of your house.

#jessie lynn mcmains #my writing #2016 #music #desire #springtime #playlist #failure to grow up #quotations #lyrics #quoting myself #i don't ID as a girl anymore but i still love this piece #plus i'm allowed to call myself a girl #it's my gender and i'll be weird about it if i want to #springtime can kill you #same as it ever was #also yes i know there are other valid criticisms of AFP #but those are beyond the scope of this piece

[eldritchsurveys]

636.

Have you ever done a craft that you found on Pinterest? >> No, I don’t use Pinterest. Do you get scrapbooking layout ideas from anywhere? >> No, because I don’t scrapbook. What do you do to wipe off the dust from ordinary life? >> What? Are you content with mystery, or do you wish you knew everything? >> Mystery is one of the things that makes life interesting, for me. My curiosity and imagination needs mystery to chew on, to turn over and over in my mind. If it was just fed all the answers, it’d be bored and so would I. What do you do when someone irritates you on Facebook? >> No one irritates me on facebook. But if they did, I’d either unfollow or unfriend them.

Are you judgmental? >> I don’t encourage judgemental behaviour in myself.

Do you think your hair looks better natural or dyed? >> I think it looks healthier when natural, and that’s the most important thing. I can always wear wigs for funky colours.

Do your parents disrespect you? >> --- Have you found that love covers over a multitude of sins? >> No. It enables one to treat another’s shortcomings with grace and compassion, which is important. But if something is truly rotten, love’s not going to do shit for it. What was the last Grand Opening you went to? >> --- Do you have anything coming up tomorrow? >> All I want to do tomorrow is play video games and be comfortable in my bed. What’s one thing that makes your stomach hurt? >> Anxiety. Ever had a living nightmare? >> Er, maybe? Do you have a lot of haters? >> Not to my knowledge. I don’t think I register on most people’s radars to begin with.

Do you think successful people always come with a pack of haters? >> I mean, probably. Envy is a hell of a drug. Do you have supernatural abilities? >> Who knows what kind of abilities I have. Even I don’t know. Do you kick yourself when you make mistakes? Do you say, “I wish I would have” a lot? >> Yeah, although I’ve been trying to cut down on the self-flagellation. Are you doing the most you can with your life? >> Sure, by my standards. Do you let people walk on you? >> No. Are you ok? >> Sure. Do you have a friend you miss right now? >> No. Do you ever write snail mail to your friends? >> No. Do you make your life look better than it is on Facebook? >> I don’t post on facebook. Do you feel God’s presence regularly? >> No. For the record, I’m not attuned to that sort of presence, so I have no idea how I’d even look for it. Do you experience chronic pain? >> No. Do you believe God loves you and is rooting for you? Wtf is with all these Christian surveys lately. Are people not aware that the vast majority of the world is not Christian? <-- They’re probably from joybucket. Christian questions aside, she makes decent surveys and there’s always a shortage of those, so. Anyway, my comprehension of a capital-g God is a more panentheistic kind, so any anthropomorphic features it’d possess are because its nature is being expressed through humanity just as much as through everything else. Have you ever dreamt that you were falling? >> Probably, but more often I just have that weird falling sensation just as I’m dropping off to sleep. It hasn’t happened much lately, but it used to happen constantly. What would your dream career be? >> --- Are you a daydreamer? >> Not so much. Do you daydream so much that you wonder if there’s anyone who doesn’t? >> --- Do you ever just sit and daydream for awhile? >> No. I’m not really sure how daydreaming works. If I’m staring into space it’s because I’ve zoned out or because I’m ruminating on some conversation I had and dissecting my every misstep or something stupid like that. Is the snow falling where you are right now? >> Not where I currently am, no. But where I live, it probably is snowing. I’ll find out when I get off the plane tonight. What is your favorite part of nature? >> What isn’t my favourite part of nature. Do you wish you could be a world traveler? >> You know... not particularly. Not to say that I don’t love seeing new places, and not to say that I don’t want to go to other countries, because I do. But it’s just not so much a priority to me anymore. I’m just as happy watching Anthony Bourdain do it. (Also, sensory defensiveness and related problems has really begun to impede on my enjoyment of travel.) Do you wish you could live in another city for a year? >> I mean, sure. I just can’t imagine what situation would lead to that. What city would you like to visit? >> Oh, you know. Any one will do. What has been your favorite city that you’ve visited? >> New Orleans. If you had kids, would you take them to Disney World? >> I wouldn’t take kids to Disney World, I’d take myself. I’ve never gone and I’m curious about it. Have you ever stood in line to get a Disney character’s autograph? >> No. Do you own a birthday crown? >> No. How long does it usually take your hair to dry? Do you dry it naturally or blow-dry it? >> My hair is very short so it takes like 10 minutes. Do you straighten your hair? >> No. Do you sleep with a teddy bear? >> I sleep with two teddy bears and an assortment of other animals. Would you consider yourself a free spirit? >> I don’t really know what that means. Do you need to clean out your closet? >> --- Do you watch YouTube videos regularly? >> Sure. What’s your favorite coffee shop? >> --- Is your Pinterest page cluttered? >> --- Do you want to start a collection? >> No. Are you a role model? Would you consider yourself a good example? >> No. Are you a leader or a follower? >> I’m just... a person, man. My roles change depending on the situation. Who’s your favorite person? >> --- Who have been your favorite American Idol contestants? >> --- Did you used to name your Barbies? >> I don’t remember if they had names. What unnatural hair color looks best on you? >> I prefer silver on me. Is your life boring? >> It can be, but I like it the way it is. Do you usually feel better around people or alone? >> Alone is usually my default comfort zone. Is there a broken relationship in your life that you want to fix? >> No. Do you ever think about Heaven? >> Occasionally, because it seems like such an... unlikely kind of afterlife. Are you ready for Heaven yet? >> lmao did you just ask me if I’m ready to die Are you afraid of where you’re going to go? >> I really hope I can get that mushroom suit for my corpse. Do you have a tree outside your window? >> No. Do you feel better now than you did last night? >> Well, which part of last night? When I was at the after-party, I felt great. When I got back to the motel, I was super tired from all the drinking and socialising, so I felt a little crappy. I feel fine now. Is your sleep schedule messed up? >> Kind of, because I just spent two nights in a different time zone and away from my own bed. But it’s nothing a few nights back home won’t fix. Does your body have any problems with it? >> *shrug* Are you doing ok spiritually? >> Relatively. Have you taken any huge risks lately? >> Well, I guess coming down here was a bit of a risk financially, but it worked out. Silence or songs? >> Depends on what I’m in the mood for. Tea or coffee? >> Tea. Books or movies? >> Both. Do you ever watch your favorite movies from when you were a kid? >> Sure. ^If you were going to do that, what would you watch? >> The Prince of Egypt, definitely. The Pagemaster is a lot of fun to rewatch, too. Also, Labyrinth, of course. Do you ignore rude people or do you call them out? >> I usually ignore them. It’s less effort. Do you have trouble staying organized? >> No. What has been your most favorite adventure? >> I don’t really know. What has been your greatest mistake? >> *shrug* Are you happy with your life right now? >> Sure. Do you take anything to make your feel better? >> CBD oil kind of functions that way for me, in a not-very-dramatic way. Are your parents still together? >> They never were. What color socks do you have on? >> Grey with a Halloween design on them. Are you under a blanket right now? >> No. Are you hopeful? >> About what....?

#surveys #survey #random survey

[geekofmanyforms]

New Beginning

Chapter Four

***This chapter has been edited by my Beta, Casey. Please leave her some love for all of her hard work in the form of some reviews.***

It had been four days since I had spoken to either Salvatore. Not surprisingly, they had been easy to avoid. Seeing as I'm not my sister, their constant attention isn't necessary. I would sincerely like to bottle whatever is in the blood of the Petrova's, I could rule the world with that shit. Just like Katherine, Elena had everyone wrapped around her finger and fighting for her safety. Hell, she even has a Bennett witch on her side.

Although, things have been going a little pear-shaped for Elena here lately. She's started to pick up on small stuff about Stefan — details of his life that don't make sense. With my sister distracted and in her own little Salvatore bubble, I was able to deal with my issue with the elder Salvatore without intrusion.

Over the past few days, Damon had started playing with Caroline, acting as if she were his personal pop machine. I've been seeing less and less of her — and that was something I needed to take care of. He should know better than to mess with my friend.

Staring ahead at the large white house in front of me, I narrowed my eyes. I could feel my bubbly friend was alone inside and was glad; I didn't want to see anyone else right now. The rustling of the trees behind Caroline's house caught my attention, and I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of the light breeze as it swept past me, rustling my hair around my face in a whirl of red. I could smell the wet grass from the rain that had spilled overnight and was grateful for the small modicum of peace the familiar scent gave me.

I stepped up onto the porch of the Forbes residence. There was more reason than just my anti-social mood this morning for waiting to come here until Damon left. I didn't want to reveal myself to him just yet. After everything that had happened between myself and the two brothers, I just wasn't in the mood for any more Salvatore drama. For now, that could remain my sister's forte.

It only took my blonde friend a second to answer the door. Her face was pale and peckish. A long white bandage covered the left side of her neck; the sight made my stomach roll. Her blue eyes widened and then narrowed as she took me in. Before she could shut the door in my face — something the healthy Caroline would have never done to me — I slammed my hand against her door, a harsh smile on my face.

"Hey, Carebear. You've been avoiding me," I said with slight annoyance.

It was true —since Damon picked her up at the Grill, she's avoided me. She's even gone as far as blocking my phone calls, no doubt Damon's compulsion was to blame. He was probably hoping I wouldn't catch him using my friend as an all you can eat buffet. Caroline feigned laughter, looking at her feet as she stepped aside, obviously knowing she was between a rock and a hard place. She knew now that I had her in my sights, and there was no turning back. I can be just as stubborn as she can, especially when it comes to those I love.

"I don't know what you're talking about, girl, I've just been busy with my new man," she said, pulling her hair over her shoulder to hide the bandage, brushing the strands between her fingers nervously.

She backtracked towards the hallway, blue eyes watching me with unease as I nonchalantly took in my surroundings, hands tucked in my jacket pockets. When she saw that I wasn't going anywhere, she let out an aggravated huff and turned around, tracking back towards the other end of the house, presumably to finish getting ready. I waited until she headed to her bedroom before I stepped into the kitchen.

"I'm going to grab a bottle of water!" I shouted down the hall.

I headed for the sink where the water filter system was attached to the spout. I reached into my jacket pocket and took out a little black leather pouch of vervain, sitting it on the counter beside me. Very carefully I took out the water purifier's filter and added a small chunk of vervain, layering it over the screen so that the water could still seep through it. Releasing a sigh, I shook my head, now all I had to do was make sure I'm the one to change the filter whenever it needed it, which wouldn't be too hard considering how often I'm here.

After I put everything back together, I turned on the faucet, allowing the water to run for a moment so that I could make sure the vervain wasn't causing any issues. Once I was satisfied I hadn't screwed anything up, I took a bottle of lemon water from the fridge and headed to Caroline's bathroom and repeated the process. When I had finished with all the filter systems, I even went as far as to add ground vervain to their coffee. I was sure they'd never notice, and now both she and her mother would be drinking vervain every day. I had read in the Gilbert family journals that Liz Forbes was in the know about everything supernatural, so I was almost certain she was already on a daily dose of vervain - but I couldn't be positive, so better safe than sorry.

For the last part of my plan, I headed back into Caroline's room, where she was still getting ready for the day. She stood in front of her vanity, curling her long blonde hair.

"Hey Care, I got you a gift,"

She turned her head quickly at my bubbly demeanor. Her pink, freshly glossed lips parted with a gasp. "What? You didn't have to do that!" she jumped in excitement.

I pulled out the small gold pouch I had in my other pocket. Inside was a delicate silver bracelet with a little heart locket dangling from the end. The pendant was sealed with vervain. That way, I would always know she had something to protect her. I placed it on her wrist and smiled brightly at my best friend. I would protect her for as long as I could.

"Omg, Ellie bean! This is gorgeous with a capital G!" she squealed, delighted by the smell of her charm.

"What is that? Rose?" she asked, lifting her wrist to her nose.

She inhaled deeply, eyes fluttering closed. I hugged her and nodded; she didn't need to know what it was.

"Just promise you'll wear it always. It's like a best friend bracelet,"

I showed her my wrist where I wore an identical bracelet — minus the vervain. For some reason, I've never needed vervain to protect me. I couldn't be compelled. I've never found out why, but I'm certainly not complaining.

I took Caroline's curling iron and finished off a few curls for her in the back, while she put on mascara.

"So, you need a ride to school?" I asked.

"Yeah, that would be great. Damon had to leave early today," she said, fidgeting with a purple neck scarf.

I ignored the mention of my asshole of an ex. The situation with Caroline had shown me exactly how much he had changed. I followed her outside and hopped into my car. Once she had joined me, I drove us both to school, smiling at the idea that Damon would soon realize he could no longer play with my Caroline. I'd make sure I was there for the reveal, just in case he thought of hurting her. Caroline played with her new bracelet's pendant, smelling it over and over again with a smile on her glossy pink lips. Every time she did, a smile of my own would grace my lips, mine one of much less innocence.

I parked beside Elena in the school parking lot. She stood by her car, speaking with Bonnie. Before I had completely stopped the car, Caroline jumped out and sped past both of them. Bonnie raised her hand, Caroline's name on the tip of her tongue, her eyelashes fluttering in confusion — avoiding her friends must be apart of his compulsion. What an idiot, it only makes everyone more suspicious.

"Hey El, what's Caroline's problem?" Elena asked me, her dark hair fluttering in the breeze.

My sister's perfect dark hair fluttering in the breeze, made me want to dump my bottle of lemon water over her head. I shrugged my shoulders for dramatic effect and took a long sip. Shaking her head and turning away from where Caroline had disappeared — much like a female version of Batman, Bonnie turned back to Elena, forest green eyes hesitant.

` "Listen, Elena, I'm not saying you shouldn't date the guy. I'm just saying take it slow," she said.

I caught on quickly, understanding Bonnie must have had a vision. Witchy powers activate!

Elena sighed deeply. "You were the one who said go for it," she said.

I ignored the rest of their bickering when I saw a familiar spiky head of hair heading our way. His stupid attractive face irritated me to no end; it was too early for brooding vampires. Suddenly finding my converse very interesting, I watched my feet, tapping my toes in an unfamiliar rhythm.

"Good morning, Elena, Elara. Good morning Bonnie," Stefan said, always the proper gentleman. With a resigned sigh, I looked up at him with a quick jerk of my hand, and for a split second, I saw him as I had once known him. My eyes clouded, my back stiffened.

Stefan stood outside of his family home, bowing to me slightly in greeting as I exited my carriage. His brother, Damon— my Damon — smiled at me from beside him.

I felt tears come to my eyes and blinked them away; not quick enough. Stefan's vampire senses must've picked up the slight smell of saltwater. He gave me an odd look but continued speaking to my sister. She was apologizing for Bonnie's swift exit, that I just now noticed myself.

I shook off the memory...or vision...and looked around me to remind myself of the time we were in.

"She doesn't know you. She's my best friend. She's just looking out for me. But, when she does, she'll love you," Elena tried to explain.

Unbeknownst to Elena, Stefan and I knew she never would. When she found out what he really was, she would hate him. It's in her DNA. Witches of nature were predisposed to hate vampires; their very existence is against nature.

"Here's what you're going to do. Are you free tonight?" Elena asked him, suddenly excited.

"Yes."

Stefan's eyes crinkled as he smiled handsomely. Elena grabbed my elbow and yanked me next to her. My arms flailed, causing me to almost drop my water bottle. I frowned at her exuberance, fixing my hair once I'd regained my balance.

"Perfect. Dinner, our house, 8:00 — You, me, Elara, and Bonnie. You two will spend some quality time, and she'll get to see what a great guy you are. Mission accomplished," Elena said firmly with a grin.

I rolled my eyes, earning a smirk from Stefan, who was watching me with humor. He knew me too well, and he also knew what Bonnie was. It didn't matter how handsome or charming Stefan was; she would never be able to see past his affliction.

I pulled away from her, my 'spidey senses' (as I sometimes humorously called them) tingling' something was about to happen. I turned towards the parking lot behind Stefan and zeroed in on Tyler gripping a football in his right hand, positioned to make a long-range throw. I closed my eyes and tilted my head slowly.

"Stefan. The ball," I said, low enough to keep Elena from hearing.

A moment later, a football flew towards us. Stefan spun around quickly and caught it. His face had the definition of shock, obviously curious about how I knew that was going to happen. Along with the force field I had cast on him and his brother, there would be no way I could hide my gift from them any longer. Damn it.

I avoided Stefan's gaze as he tossed the ball back, knocking Tyler backward a few inches. I stepped in front of Stefan and gave Tyler the finger before heading inside. That jackass had made me reveal another one of my gifts. Usually, I could hide the premonitions, but I had spoken without thinking.

Stupid, stupid Elara.

I never allowed him or Damon to see my gifts in the life I had spent with them. If I had, and their father had found out, I would have been burned for witchcraft — well, sooner than I had been.

Now I would be forced to explain everything, and I wasn't sure I could trust Stefan to keep his mouth shut around Elena. I didn't want my family to know the truth about me, my gifts, and my impending doom. They would try to help, no matter how many times I told them they couldn't. It's impossible; no one can help me. I would have to spend my last year in this life fighting against what can't be changed.

That afternoon, I sat in the bleachers on the football field, waiting for Stefan's turn to try out. I was oddly excited to see how well he hid his vampire side, especially since he had pissed off Mr. Tanner with his obvious superiority in history class. I eyed the other side of the field where Elena surprised everyone by showing up for cheerleading practice. As exciting as that was (sarcasm intended), my attention was grabbed by an arguing Caroline and Damon. I smiled brightly and hopped off the bleachers, heading for the parking lot. I caught Stefan's eye and sent him a thumbs up, telling him I would handle it. A few feet from their fight, I saw him grab hold of her arm as his eyes bored into hers. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips, drawing their attention to my approach. He instantly let her go and stepped away.

"Care, can you please give me and your ex here a minute to talk," I said, my voice stiff.

Caroline's ponytail swayed as she nodded quickly. I gave her arm a reassuring squeeze as she passed me. Once she was on the field with the rest of her lively group, I stepped closer to Damon, looking up to meet his gaze. Even with the apparent height difference, his eyes were wary, obviously wondering to himself what I was capable of.

I leaned into him, my mouth near his jugular. I moved my nose against his skin. I wanted the upper hand, and this was the easiest way to throw him off.

"I know how you see me, and you should know, you are sorely mistaken if you think I'm still that shy and passive girl you planned to marry. I have been through a lot since then, and I have been taught by powerful and dangerous people," I said quietly, my breath fanning against his neck. "So, if I were you I'd avoid hurting the people I love. Caroline is one of those people, and I have taken measures to protect her. Your compulsion will not work, Salvatore. So back off."

He brushed my hair from my shoulder, and an involuntary shudder passed through me. He smirked at my reaction, taking it as permission to lean in and kiss me. Before his lips met mine, I reared my fist back and punched him, putting every bit of power I could behind it. He flew back against his car, leaving a sizable dent. I shook my hand out, jumping up and down in pain. Already my skin was turning black and blue.

"What the hell, Elandra!" he shouted in annoyance.

I held my hand close to me, whimpering. I felt a sudden change in the air, and Stefan stood beside me.

"What did he do? Are you okay?" he asked, glaring at his brother.

Damon stood and pointed his finger in my direction, accusingly.

"It was her fault — she should know better than to punch a vampire. Even if she did a good job at damaging my damn car,"

He bent over and looked over his car, running his hand over the damage. Stefan took hold of my hand and pulled it towards him. He ran his fingers over the discolored skin.

"Ow Stefan! Careful!" I whined

Even if I had gone through a lot worse, I tended to be a big baby about pain. Stefan smiled at me and continued to look my hand over. I ignored him and smirked at Damon, who was still looking over the damage to his car.

"You shouldn't have tried to kiss me. We are not together," I said cooly.

He flipped me off and looked around for witnesses before popping the dent out as best he could.

"He tried to kiss you?" Stefan looked at Damon and sighed. "What am I saying, of course, he did. You're... you," Stefan said, more to himself than anyone else.

"What's that supposed to mean Stef?" I said, biting my lip and trying not to move my hand.

Damon looked at my hand once and then at Stefan before jumping into his car.

"Well, it looks like you have this handled, brother. Elandra, always a pleasure," he said, nodding his head at me.

I glared at him as he sped away, leaving me in the care of his brother, yet again. I shuddered at the memory. Stefan must have caught on because his face hardened for a moment before he schooled his features. He looked back towards the field before pulling me into him and speeding off. I closed my eyes as the wind rushed past us. I put my face on his chest and held on for dear life. It was like riding a roller coaster without being strapped in, utterly terrifying.

The wind around us stopped suddenly, and I finally forced my eyes open. We were back at my house...in my room. I pushed away from him awkwardly, realizing how glued to his chest I had been.

"Thank you," I said, clearing my throat.

He snickered at my unease and bit into his wrist awkwardly holding it out to me.

"Here, I doubt you want to explain a broken hand to your aunt or sister. I promise to not be an ass about it this time. I'm sorry about what happened before. That was immature," he said blushing, avoiding my eyes.

I gingerly took his wrist and drank from him before he could stain the carpet. His blood repaired my injured hand quickly, and I moved it around, grateful when it was pain-free. Once I was fully healed, I sat on my bed and motioned for him to join.

"Listen, Stef, I forgive you. Hell, I forgive Damon. I just want you both to know that you need to be careful. I will not allow the people I love to be hurt," I said, keeping my voice firm.

"I will protect the people you and Elena care about. I promise. But we need to talk— I need to know what's going on with you," he said.

I felt his intense stare but refused to look at him. This was the moment I had been dreading. I ran my fingers through my hair as I pulled out my phone, sending Damon a quick text to meet us here. There was no way I was going to do this twice. It took him less than five minutes to blow through my window, a single crow feather falling to the floor below him.

"Your dramatics haven't changed much, I see," I sighed.

His face was stern and emotionless. I'm sure he was preparing to kill me if he thought it necessary. I knew if I told them the complete truth, I'd be fighting for my life by the end of the conversation. So, I decided to keep to the basics. I ignored the fact that Rebekah had also joined us not too long ago. I refused to try to explain my ability to see the dearly departed...or daggered. She smiled brightly just to annoy me. I rolled my eyes at her and stood, motioning for Damon to join his brother on my bed. Once he was seated, I stepped in front of both vampire brothers, my nerves on high alert.

"Okay, I have no clue where to start so bare with me," I said.

"Just start at the beginning baby," Damon said with a smirk.

I ground my teeth at his use of the pet name I had always hated. Should I start from the beginning, or would that give them too much information? I glanced at Rebekah for help.

"You look creepy staring off into nothing, Ellie. Just give them the basics. Don't use names," she warned her eyes stern.

She would know exactly what I needed to leave out, so I choose to listen to her. I cleared my throat and let out a deep breath. I paced back and forth, picking at my nails anxiously.

"Well, a very, very, long time ago I lost my parents. My real parents." I started, taking a seat on my vanity chair after Damon glared at my constant pacing. "I had nowhere to go after their death. They were poor, and my mother was a known witch. A very rare breed of witch at that, so, of course, that didn't make her very popular." I ignored their shocked gazes and looked straight at Rebekah, which to the brothers would make me look like I was staring off into the distance, but I needed her strength. The strength of my sister, the one that had been there from the beginning.

"There was only one person in our village who had ever liked my mother; she had befriended her after she had found out what she was. This woman was a powerful witch of nature. When my mother died, she was the only other witch around — well, apart from me. I had inherited my mother's gift, and I was the last of our kind. This woman took me in and agreed to train me as best she could, seeing as she and I were not the same kind of witch. She had a large family, and they were well respected and wealthy. Though, the father was a total dick." I growled loudly. Stefan jerked, looking at me in shock. I leaned forward and smiled.

"Sorry. It's true, though — he really was," I said with a weak laugh.

Rebekah paled and managed a small laugh. I sent her a sympathetic frown and managed to look away. This story was hard on both of us.

"I managed to make my place in the family by helping with spell work and chores. Her children were kind to me and accepted me. Her daughter and I bonded incredibly quickly. She was my best friend. But another development had occurred as well. I had begun to fall in love with one of her sons. After a few years, he fell for me, as well. He and I loved each other deeply, but, when we decided to come clean about our relationship, we were met with hostility." I stood and walked to the window my back to them. "I was nothing, no family, no place in the village, so, we were denied the right to marry," I said.

A single tear fell at the memory of a human Niklaus. He had been so kind and gentle, even though he was being tortured by his beast of a father, he still showed me, love. I could feel a presence behind me and saw the ethereal form of Rebekah, her hand hovering over my shoulder. I gave her a half-smile and looked back at the men in front of me. Their faces were hard, especially Damon. I fought to cringe at the hint of betrayal in his eyes.

"During the next few months, his mother pushed him and me further apart. I thought she had succeeded." I frowned as my eyes clouded over with memories."Until one day, he found me in the woods alone. I had been picking berries for dinner." I closed my eyes and smiled, turning back around to face the brothers I opened my eyes. "I can still smell them if I close my eyes." I laughed, earning a hard glare from Damon. Rebekah smiled and leaned closer to me.

"When I finally realized he was there, he was already on his knee. He gave me this lengthy, beautiful speech about love. I wanted to refuse him, I knew nothing good would come of it, but I couldn't. I could deny him nothing, I loved him too much, so I accepted. We hid it for a long time. We planned on taking his siblings and running away, starting a life away from his horrible father. That was, until the day his youngest brother died. He was murdered, brutally,"

I looked away again, remembering little Henrik, his smile, his laugh. He was kind and gentle. He didn't deserve the death he received.

"After that, his father talked his mother into creating a spell that would make all of them powerful enough to avenge the boy's death. She enlisted my help, and I felt so bad for the poor boy that I agreed,"

I wracked my brain for a way to end the story without giving away the full truth of what happened next. Damon tried to interrupt me, but I held my hand up for silence, my eyes tired and pained. I took a deep breath and looked at the two men; two vampires who could hold me partially responsible for their existence. I turned my head away from them and looked at Rebekah, she grimaced and nodded her head at me. I sighed and pushed on.

"In the middle of creating the spell, the witch brushed her hand against mine, and suddenly I had a knife to my throat. I don't even remember her moving. It all happened so quickly. We had been left alone to prepare — though even if we hadn't been — I wouldn't have wanted anyone to intervene. If the father had found out, it would have meant watching them being beaten for helping me. Somehow when the witch had touched me, she had seen my connection with her son. She had seen my acceptance of his proposal. I barely noticed when she slid the blade from my neck and into the palm of my hand, stealing some of my blood. The witch told me that after we finished the spell, she would deal with my betrayal. I was afraid but knew there was no sense in trying to run,"

At this point, I was openly crying. The next part of my story was hard to recount, for it was the one memory I did my best not to think about. Stefan reached for my hand, but I jerked it away. I didn't want to hold his hand as I revealed I was partially to blame for their condition, even if they wouldn't know that was the spell I was telling them about. I took in a few deep, shaky breaths.

"After the spell was cast, I stood off to the side, next to the witch while the rest of the family sat at the table. I watched in fear as their father stood — I had no clue exactly what the spell entailed or even did, so when their father shoved a blade into each of their backs, I was in utter shock. I remember my knees smacking the ground as I collapsed in anguish. The man I loved lifted his hand and motioned for me to stay where I was, to not move. So, I did. After the last of his children died, he pushed the blade into his own chest,"

Stefan gasped in shock, and I wiped the tears from my face. Rebekah sat beside me on her knees staring off into the distance, clearly remembering her death — and rebirth.

"What happened, Elandra?" Stefan whispered.

I tore my gaze from the blonde beside me and looked him in the eyes. His face was blurry through my tears.

"The father woke up first, as something he hadn't expected to be. Once he realized the spell backfired, he went crazy. He wanted blood, so the witch offered him mine. She told him it was all my fault, that I had done something during the spell that made it fail. It was a lie, of course; she had dabbled in magic too dark to be predictable, and there is always a price for that. She just wanted me out of the way, she didn't want me marrying her son. The father took me by the hair and drug me into the town where he told everyone I was a witch and in league with the evil that had killed his son. Everyone in town knew of my mother, so they were quick to believe I was a witch, just like her. They tied me to a pyre, and the last thing I remember was the ethereal form of the witch's voice in my head. She laughed at my agony. She explained that the blood she had taken from me had been used in a spell that would make me immortal. That I would live life over and over but never being able to enjoy it. I would be forced to remember every life I lived painfully,"

I shifted, looking down at my hands as I picked at my fingernails.

"But the worst part of her curse was the fact that I would never live past the age I originally died at, 18. I would never grow a day older. So, during every life, I die on my 18th birthday. Always and forever. Those were the last words I heard. The curse took effect just as the fire devoured me," I said, the last few words in the form of a whisper.

Stefan and Damon sat quietly in shock, both their faces pale and lifeless. Damon leaned forward, his elbows on his knees as he shook his head in disbelief.

"I've tried so many times to break the curse, but it never works. I've even found a few friends through the years who have researched and begged other witches to assist me, but I'm older than any witch I've ever met. Even if I technically die and get reborn, my soul is still the same, which makes me the oldest and most powerful witch alive. So, if I've never found a counter curse, then there isn't one,"

My stomach singed at the reminder of what I'll never be able to have; a life. I sat perfectly still as I waited for them to speak. The silence in the room was deafening. After a moment, Damon was the first to speak.

"...Is that why you died in our time?"

"Yes, it is. I died because my time was up. The curse activates on my birthday, and then it leads me to my death. I've tried to resist, but it's impossible, I always lose myself," I explained.

My face was covered in fresh tears. This was the hardest part, trying to help people cope with my impending death. Rebekah sat next to me, a hand hovering above mine.

Damon's face paled even further —- something I didn't think could be possible at this moment — his eyes darting from side to side. Stefan patted him on the arm.

"But...you just turned 17..." he choked out.

I stood up and checked to make sure my door was locked; I had begun to hear people downstairs. I lifted my hand and waved it across my room, mumbling a silencing spell. None of my family needed to know about my visitors.

"So, you're going to die in a year, and you're saying there is no stopping it..." Stefan said.

I almost laughed at the loud sigh Rebekah let out.

"God, were you this slow when we dated?" she asked him.

I hid my smile behind my hand and nodded.

"There is no stopping it. That is why you're not to say a single word to anyone. I mean it!" I said, pointing at them both, my eyes hard.

Damon stood at vampire speed and stepped in front of me, looking me over frantically as if he were afraid my curse was about to activate.

"Have you tried vampire blood?" he asked in a huff.

I sighed lightly and placed my hand on his arm, squeezing gently; the leather of his jacket was cool to the touch.

"Of course I have, Katherine actually fed me her blood. I never woke up once she killed me. I just moved on to the next life," I said.

"Katherine?! You trusted her?" Damon spat angrily, yet still avoiding the fact that she obviously wasn't in the tomb.

I stepped away from his heated gaze the fire in his eyes, making me nervous.

"Yes! But if that's not enough I've been given the blood of several different vampires. It never works, Damon. I've come to the conclusion that the only person who can take away this curse is the person who created it and she is long gone. Even if she wasn't, she'd never help me," I yelled, my face red.

Stefan sat on my bed his head bowed in defeat. He knew the truth and had already accepted it. That was one of the best things about Stefan, he didn't kid himself.

I watched Damon pace back and forth in anger, his hands on his hips, jacket sitting against the tops of his hands.

"Stefan, you should both go. Elena is waiting for you, and Damon is going to drive me nuts with his pacing," I said, hoping to end the conversation.

"No! This isn't going to happen again," Damon yelled, "I won't let it happen again."

Damon disappeared out my window in a flash of black. I jumped back and raised my hands in the air in shock, his sudden abrupt departure surprised me. Stefan stood from my bed and stepped next to me. He kissed my forehead gently and looked out my window where his brother had disappeared, probably to go kill a few people and cool off.

"I'll handle it," Stefan said, following after his brother.

I sat down on my bed and put my head in my hands.

"I'm so sorry my family did this to you," Rebekah whispered.

"Don't start again, Beks. I will never regret meeting you or your family. Even after everything we've been through, you all were the best part of it. Always and forever, Beka. Your mother may have used that against me negatively at one point, but spending the time I have with you since then has more than made up for it. Even if your brother will end up killing us both for not telling him about my curse," I said laughing.

"Yeah, he'll probably wake me up just to dagger me again," she sighed.

I nodded in agreement before hearing my name shouted from downstairs. I waved my hand across the room once more before calling back.

"Be there in a minute, Lena!"

Masterlist

#vampire diaries #damon salvatore #damon salvatore fanfiction #damon x oc #damon x elena #niklaus mikaelson #bonnie bennett #klaus mikaelson x oc #klaus mikaelson fanfiction #klaus mikaelson #klaus fanfiction #elijah mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #bekah #kol mikaelson #elena gilbert #jeremy gilbert #the originals #mysticfalls #mystic falls #esther mikaelson #witches #witch #powerful woman #reincarnation #stefan salvatore fanfiction #stefan salvatore #fanfiction #elena #gilbert

[09yards]

3 - maybe we’ll be better off, perhaps we’re not meant for this universe (days gone by NCT)

Days Gone By masterlist | main masterlist

2nd of august [continued]

5 new messages

(1 new message) Hyuckie – happy birthday, I guess! See you tonight, can’t wait! 😊

(1 new message) Injunnie – do I really still have to wish you happy birthday after all these years? Is it not just a given smh

(1 new message) Jaehyun – happy birthday lil guy! See you tonight!!! Doyoung and I are very excited to see you!!

(1 new message) Lucas – yo, happy birthday dude! 8pm tonight right?

(1 new message) Jaemin – sending you birthday love! Catch you later 😊

TO Lucas (11:38 am) yep! See you tonight, ‘fashionably’ late as always right bro?

God did mark hate calling people bro.

TO Jaehyun (11:43 am) I’m really not little, how long are you going to keep this up for? Actually, don’t answer that, I’ll see you and Doyoung tonight.

TO Injunnie (11:45 am) wow, I love this kind of treatment on my birthday, so kind of you.

FROM Injunnie (11:47 am) We’ve known each other, what fifteen years? I think we get the idea now, do we not?

In other news, considering I don’t really care about your birthday right now, do you happen to know what’s up with Jaemin? He hasn’t messaged me in three days, the last time we spoke he couldn’t end the conversation any quicker.

Oh my god! The audacity! How dare he not message you?

Your sarcasm is not appreciated nor is it necessary right now. Usually I can’t get him to stop talking to me, I’m a tad scared.

You don’t think he’s going to break up with me, do you?

Oh my god!

Mark what if he breaks up with me? Like are we even together? We aren’t together so he doesn’t even have to break up with me.

You don’t think it’s to do with that new girl Yuna do you? He was the one who gave her tours!!

He said he was gay but maybe he’s not, maybe he feels like he got the wrong soulmate! He used to date girls, what if he lied to protect my feelings. That’s cute but messed up.

Jesus fucking Christ Injun, he’s not ending anything you're soulmates, he loves you.

and yes he did date girls but I had to listen to him drunkenly tell us he's 'strictly dick now' at Jaehyun's birthday - how did you not know?

I’m sure he’s just busy

He messaged me earlier, he said he was coming tonight, just look hot as usual and problem solved.

S T O P  B E I N G  A  P A N I C K E D  G A Y

And you better not be practicing your break up speech.

Okay, okay

Sorry – panic over. I’m good, we’re fine!

Let’s get back to you!

(1 new message) Hyuckie – Heejin is going to be there tonight, right? You need to help me pick an outfit; I need to look H o t - specifically with a capital H *cry*

Good because shit, Hyuck just messaged me asking what to wear tonight so he looks hot as Heejin is going to be there.

It’s my birthday why can’t he look hot for me and not for Heejin smh

Hold up,

Wait just a second here,

You’re now 18.

Really? No shit sherlock, I had no idea today was my eighteenth birthday

I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner!

D-did you get your soulmate mark yet?

Not you too

And did you seriously just stutter over text?

Yes, I did Mark, this is serious business, you have your soulmate mark don’t you?

Oof look at the time, I better run. Hyuck needs my help!

Mark

Mark Lee

You did not-

You really did huh

I guess I’ll see you later, happy birthday I guess

It was safe to say Mark had well and truly panicked. Renjun may be his best friend and what are best friends for if they don’t tease you to no end about your soulmate mark. Mark did exactly that when Renjun got his early after Jaemin’s confession at their schools annual end of year dance. Mark, Hyuck, Renjun and Jaemin had all gone together – bro’s come first and all – and while a slow song came on, Mark and Hyuck had made it outside just in time to not get roped into the dance floor, the other two hadn’t been so lucky… or maybe they had. Mark and Haechan couldn’t quite believe that after four months of the two of them trying to set their other best friends up, it took one dance, some fresh suits (they’d grown out of the old ones) and Jaemin’s freshly pink hair and Renjun’s freshly blond locks and newfound love for his glasses for the two to finally admit their feelings.

- - - - -

15th of June - end of year dance

“I cannot believe Mark and Haechannie left us here. How come crazy maths lady didn’t catch them sneaking out the back!”

“Uhm… I don’t know Jaemin, they just got lucky I guess.” Renjun was distracted, he’d wanted to be left alone with the other when he was ready, not when he risked blurting his crush as they may have only had very little alcohol courtesy of Johnny and Jaehyun before the dance – ‘you can’t go to a mundane school dance without a little something, how else will you get the confidence to dance’.

“I’m sorry I don’t really know how to dance either. How do you want to do this – your hands around my neck?”

“O-okay, sure.” Renjun could feel his hands shaking as he raised his arms up and clasped his hands together at the base of Jaemin’s neck. They were so close, Renjun could only hear the metronome that was his heartbeat thudding against his ribs. He could see the glimmer in Jaemin’s eyes, he could see the sweat beads forming just below the flop of his hair on his forehead due to the god-forsaken heat of the school’s assembly hall. Renjun’s focus was only on him, the music being played by the band on the stage gradually drowned itself out until it was at the very back of his mind, Jaemin was right in front of him, he had Jaemin’s breath tickling his cheek every time they swayed slightly to the non-existent beat.

“You know, if I knew that this was all it took to get you this close and practically melting in my grip, I wouldn’t have missed out on any god-awful school slow dances. Injunnie calm down, I can practically hear your mind whirring, attempting to process this.”

“I’m sorry I stopped listening at melting.” The reason Injun had stopped listening was due to the presence of Jaemin’s hands lowering themselves further down onto the cusp of hips and it was rather hard to concentrate when the best friend you’d been harbouring a crush on for quite some time was talking about you becoming weak under their touch and this felt like all you’d ever dreamt of (besides winning the lottery and academic success etcetera). It was one-hundred percent true; he wasn’t even going to bother fighting Jaemin on it. Anyone who looked at them would be able to see the utter panicked mess he’d become. Hands fiddling with his rings, becoming increasingly clammy, hair matting slightly as his heartrate continued to speed up and he started to feel the sweat building up.

“Injunnie, you know I love you right?”

“Of course, I do, what are best friends for?”

“No, I mean I love love you. Like I want to kiss you and hold your hand and cuddle up on rainy days and binge-watch all the Harry Potter movies with you, even though I know the whole time you’re going to sit there and give me a running commentary on how the books are better than the films and that J.K. Rowling is a goddess.”

“Don’t we do that anyway? Aside from the kissing thing, you attempt to kiss me and I push you away. And, J.K. Rowling is a goddess.”

“Injun, I want to date you – I- I want to be your boyfriend.” Jaemin’s hands were gradually pulling away from their position on Renjun’s hips and he wasn’t quite ready to let him go yet. “Just say something please, something relevant… please. If you don’t want to do this we can just move on, go back to being the best of friends. You know, maybe we’ll be better off, perhaps we’re not meant to be a couple in this universe.”

“Jesus Christ Jaemin you really never stop talking when you’re supposed to, do you?”

It was Jaemin’s turn to blush now, Injun was never this forward.

“I’m sorry, what did you want to say? I can handle the rejection you know! Sure, I may just have to drown my sorrows in several litre tubs of ice cream but I’m sure I’ll get over it. I’m strong yeah- “

Jaemin was cut off with a very light peck to the corner of the mouth and that left him spluttering, unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Wow, that got you to stop talking didn’t it? The Na Jaemin, speechless right before my very own eyes.”

“S-shut up, I’m not blushing.”

“I never said you were, but you most definitely are.” Renjun leant closer, mouth hovering just over Jaemin’s ear, “But, don’t worry about it, I know I’m blushing too and I can’t wait to see every way I can make you blush.”

Jaemin deemed it far too inappropriate of a conversation for their assembly hall, it was one-hundred percent not okay for anyone to over hear them.

“D-do you want to get out of here? Jaehyun isn’t home and maybe we could talk about t-this.” Jaemin could feel himself blushing more as every word left his mouth. What happened to him being the confident one?

“Let’s go.” Renjun took his hand, almost (but not quite) dragging him out of the hall, confidence overtaking his rationality, the alcohol coursing through his bloodstream, to where Jaemin’s pride and joy sat – the car he’d inherited from his grandfather, a 1967 black ford mustang and Renjun wouldn’t lie, it made Jaemin all that more appealing.

The two’s plans to make it home hadn’t quite worked out that way. Leaning over the gear stick, confident Jaemin was back and ready to make Renjun blush just as much as he’d been doing beforehand.

Raising a hand to his jaw, “Maybe I could get a proper kiss now; without you pushing me away.” Renjun’s entire body was heating up, the others voice had dropped at least three octaves, sultry and quiet but deafening to his ears. All he could do was nod lightly, leaning into the feeling of Jaemin’s hand. It was soft and gentle, like Jaemin was scared to hurt him but quickly turned darker and deeper. Licking into one another’s mouths, light moans and whimpers, hands grasping at clothing. Before he knew it, Renjun was seated comfortably on Jaemin’s lap, back against the steering wheel, hands clutching his shoulders while the others were on his waist. Whimpers turned into groans, Renjun had managed to slip Jaemin’s jacket off and was now working his way through the buttons of his shirt, hands shaking too much and eyes closed as the two gasped for breath in between rough, passionate, desperate kisses.

“Injunnie, don’t take this the wrong way, but maybe we should slow down. We’re in my car, in the car park remember?”

Renjun continued with his work on Jaemin’s buttons and rocking his hips back and forth with zero regard to what he was doing to the other and blatantly ignoring what he’d said.

“Holy shit.” The smaller let out a not-so subtle gasp as he pulled away.

“I know, I’ve never enjoyed kissing so much but, we can’t get too carried away.”

“No Jaem shit, shit, shit! Look, oh my god, look at your fucking stomach.”

“What? I know I have abs, Jesus Christ Injun, you’re acting like you’ve never seen them before.”

“No, you bloody twat, I know you have abs, I’ve looked at said abs many, many times, I’m talking about that.” Jaemin whelped at the sensation of Renjun jabbing just below his ribcage, finally noticing what Renjun was talking about – their make out session now long forgotten.

“Well, you’re the only person I’ve confessed to and been reciprocated and that definitely wasn’t there when I got out the shower about three hours ago so, um, congratulations? I guess we’re soulmates. But seriously I’m going to need an explanation about this.” Gesturing at the words pressed into his skin, ‘they’re definitely staring’.

“Drive back to yours. Now.” Renjun quickly slid back into his own seat, neatening his hair which had been tugged and ruined by his soulmate’s hands. He’d immediately gone into emotional shut down, all defence mechanisms had been activated. He was scared. He knew this meant they were soulmates but what if he couldn’t give Jaemin what he wanted, what he deserved.

“Earth to Injun, hey? You still with me?” Panic was evident in Jaemin’s voice as he watched the other stare off out the window. He opted for getting out the car, hoping that would be enough to alert the other of their arrival at Jaemin’s house. A house which was empty and quiet and the moment they went inside they’d be away from the public, all alone, to have a conversation Renjun was fearful of having, but the sleepiness had overtaken him as well and his eyes were beginning to droop.

“Come on, we can talk another time. You look sleepy, I’ll take you to bed.”

Renjun’s body was so used to this action that his limbs moved on their own, arms wrapping and locking at the back of Jaemin’s neck as he felt an arm slide under his knees. It was nice, relaxing even, he turned into Jaemin’s body – in search of warmth and the smell of home. The metronome that is Jaemin’s heartbeat, thumping softly as he was carried up the stairs. His own heartbeat, although slowing in search of sleep, was becoming increasingly irregular as Jaemin’s hands moved across his body, finding their way to undoing the buttons of his shirt and gently pulling one of Jaemin’s t-shirts over his head. Renjun managed to stay awake long enough to change himself into a pair of sweatpants and curl up under the thick duvet of Jaemin’s bed before allowing himself to drift off.

“Goodnight Injunnie,” a delicate kiss to his forehead before climbing in next to him, Renjun’s body on auto-pilot curling himself up into his side, “we’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

FROM Haechannie (10:58 pm)

Where the heck did you go?

FROM Haechannie (11:05 pm)

Seriously we can’t find you anywhere!

FROM Haechannie (11:19 pm)

Okay, I’m hoping you and Renjun have gone home because you’re both missing and so is your car

FROM Haechannie (11:25 pm)

God help you, you better be fine

FROM Haechannie (11:27 pm)

The only valid excuse I’m letting you have to get out of this is if you and Renjun disappeared because you were making out

Mark agrees

TO Haechannie (11:43 pm)

Well, I guess you can’t be too mad at me then?

Renjun’s with me by the way

Excuse me, what?!

OH MY GOD – from Mark

Tell me everything, now.

Well, since you abandoned us at the dance, we were about to dance and a slow song came on so I just went with it you know?

And well I told him that I love, love him and I started rambling and well he kissed my cheek to shut me up and then we were going to go home but only made it to my car

Holy shit this is better than a drama

Hurry the fuck up I wanna know what happened next -mark

Wait ew, you better clean your car before I get in it

we didn’t have sex in my car!!

Injun was kinda up for it though, he was sat on my lap and wow his hips can move and his kisses GAH! Fnjvnldf and his waist is so tiny?? Like we’ve cuddled before, like we are right now but wow, my hands on his waist as we kissed was totally different

Jesus, you sound like you came from just making out

Or did you get left with blue balls lol -mark

mark wins this round

I said we should slow down because I was majorly hard and I was not having sex for the first time, in my car, in the school car park

He completely ignored me and carried on kissing me and undoing my shirt and then he pulled away and gasped really loudly and I was like ?????

Honestly thought he came for a second but no

He’d undone my shirt completely and was just staring at my stomach so again I was like ??

We get it Jaemin, you have abs

How many times do you want to tell us?

I have nice abs okay but that wasn’t what he was looking at

Um, turns out I have a tattoo now

I really, really want to say I’m surprised but we been knew, you and Injun were clearly soulmates -mark

Okay Hyuck is super excited and is currently dancing and screaming and said to tell you congrats so congrats

But after that, he just switched and got off me and told me to drive home, he acted like nothing happened.

And then he fell asleep in the car so I carried him up to bed and changed him into pjs

but like, I can’t see a mark on him so unless its somewhere super hidden (and I mean super) what if he doesn’t have one? Is that a thing?

I’m sure you just haven’t seen it, try get some sleep and the two of you can talk in the morning. Hyuck’s still screaming so I’ll get him to message you tomorrow.

Thank you, Mark. Sorry for unloading this on you, I’m just so so scared. Johnny and Ten had such a rocky start from best friends to soulmates, we aren’t all Jaehyun and Doyoung I guess

No, we aren’t, but you and Injun are your own people and you’ll figure it out. Johnny and Ten worked things out after all. Good night Jaemin.

Jaemin finally let himself relax, the soft snores of the small, blond boy lulling him to sleep. They’d figure this out.

They always do.

Right?

#markhyuck #markhyuck fic

[novantinuum]

A Link Beyond Memory (ch 2/4)

AO3

Fandom: Trollhunters, 3Below

Rating: T (for minor language in future chapters)

Words: 600~

Pairings: Jim/Claire, but not focus

Summary: Shortly after the events of the Eternal Night, memories of a day that never happened somehow resurface in Jim’s mind in his sleep- and upon recalling the friendship he and Aja formed, he decides to pursue that connection again. Slice of life, and kinda a slow burn friendship reunion. A hybrid of prose and chat fic (to be seen in later chapters.)

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Note: Unfortunately, fic circulation online is getting harder and harder as the months pass. Please, if you read to the end and enjoy, consider helping me out by reblogging this post, or even commenting/giving kudos over on AO3. Thanks! :D

Chapter 2: Transit

Transit- The instant when a celestial object crosses the meridian, thus reaching the highest point in the sky.

~

T: hhhh miss ya already. tbh i dont know what im supposed to do this summer now ahah

T: i was all looking forward to hangin with you and claire and everyone else in trollmarket and now…

T: i mean i still have aaarrrgghh. and darci and eli too i guess but

T: really starting to wish i came along.

T: i know you said to watch over the town while youre gone and i know thats a good point but honestly i just wanna be with you

T: jim?

T: yoooo ? did u die

T: god i hope not after all the end of the world chaos thatd be really anticlimactic

J: Sorry no I lost signal for a bit!! Miss you too gahhh.

T: pls know if you so much as say the word ill crawl on the first airplane i can find and launch myself directly at your face

T: jim liSTEN jim im not even kidding

T: screw arcadia

T: if you need me im there

J: Omg I’ll defo keep that in mind

T: ..jk dont screw arcadia tho i love this place. also its already screwed enough at this point so

T: hey but you think merlin could make me another warhammer for my growing arsenal?

J: Yeah I think he could be easily convinced.

J: He’s kinda sucking up to me now hahah

J: He already made Claire a sorta necklace amulet to store her armor so a magic hammer should be no problem

T: awesomesauceee

J: Any particular reason lol?

T: i dunno i just think itd look wicked cool to double wield, like general orzan from gun robot three. also lets be real after all the crap he put us through we deserve S W A G

J: I’ll ask tomorrow. Hey quick Q for you though

J: Well okay not exactly quick  

J: It’s actually a long story but-

T: ye?

J: Do you happen to have Aja’s number or anything?

J: We took her and her bro down to the Janus Order, lightning in a bottle, remember her?

T: ye i know- lively! and uhhh don’t think i do? havent really talked to them since why

J: I get the strangest sense we’re supposed to know them more than we do. Had a really weird dream but it felt more like a lost memory. Think it’s an amulet thing, like that alternate timeline it made me live through once?

T: huh funky

J: Also supposedly according to the dream/memory both Aja and Krel are… not from Earth?

T: dude no offense but are you sure it wasnt just a normal dream

J: Seriously.?

J: Merlin turned me into a fucking TROLL and aliens are where you decide to draw the line

T: okay yknow thats fair

T: i take that back  

T: okay so,, aja and krel are MAYBE aliens. got that. go onnn

J: What I saw honestly felt so real, I swear. It was two weeks ago, at the science fair. We were fighting a troll in the planetarium with them, and the troll kept combining magic with some alien tech, which kept reversing everyone back to the beginning of the day, like a time loop or something. But I could remember everything bc of the amulet. Aja remembered bc of some energy shield she had. We lived through the same day almost a dozen times.

T: whoa…

J: And get this- in some of those loops we even went to their house and got to look around inside their spaceship! But none of us are supposed to recall any of it bc technically the entire day never happened? It’s how we defeated the troll, that bit’s a little fuzzy. A lot of technobabble sorry.

T: goddd out of all the days to forget huh

J: Right??

J: I guess… if she remembered all of this before I’m kinda curious if she still remembers now too. If it really happened. We were friends in that memory. It’d be nice to maybe get to know her again, y’know?

T: okay you’re prob gonna hate me for suggesting this but i THINK steve has her number

T: bc i was talking to darci and she said that mary told her that aja and steve are like, a thing now

T: a Thing thing

T: i believe her exact words were ‘staja’ ?

J: Oh my god how’d that happen is he even capable of proper flirting

T: well if shes an alien like you think then maybe she doesn’t know what human flirting looks like

J: Haha maybe indeed. I’ll go talk to him thanks

J: G’night Tobes love ya

T: night buddy <3

(my notes from ao3:)

Admission, I had far too much fun with the text format. I've never attempted anything like it, but I especially wanted to create unique "character voices" that extended into the way they each type- which was a cool challenge.

I imagined Toby as the sort of person who types out his thoughts far too quickly to care about punctuation, and IMO if Trollhunters was set just a year later (I generally just imagine it all set in 2016) he'd be keymashing. Jim is more of a full sentence type of guy who never turned off auto capitalization.

ALSO, a note on the contact photos- (Jim's which I directly took from a screenshot from Claire's phone, and Toby's which I edited from some 2D concept art)- That's the photo Jim uses for Toby's contact, and I imagine there's probably some inside joke where Jim took a really derpy photo of him at one point and they laughed so hard about it that he immortalized it as his contact. Jim's personal contact photo is... well, as this all takes place post s3 of course, a rather sad reminder of his loss of humanity. He can't bother himself to change it currently.

Future chapters will likely be a mix of text AND prose, instead of one or the other. Hope you enjoyed!

#trollhunters #jim lake jr #toby domzalski #trollhunters fanfiction #my writing stuff

[imagination-is-key-in-my-world]

Everything Has Changed (1/3)

Summary : You are Jace's little sister. You recently moved to the institute following your perfect record in Idris. Izzy is ecstatic to have you back, but Alec gives you the cold shoulder.

Warning : Possible inappropriate language

Pairing : Alec Lightwood x Reader

Word Count : 2,431

“You don't have to baby me Jace!” You say slapping his hand away for the fourth time since he picked you up from Idris. “I can carry my own bags. I do not need my big brother to do everything for me.” Jace sighed as he considered taking it from you anyway. He only stopped himself when he caught you rolling your eyes at him. “Y/N, I am just trying to be nice.” Jace stepped in front of you cutting you off. Rolling your eyes a second time, “Come on! I haven't seen my little sister in ages and I just wanna look out for my little girl.”

His hand raised to your head as he ruffled up your once neat parting. Setting your whole look off balanced, and basically giving you the appearance of a girl who had been dragged through a thorn bush backwards. But even though Jace was doing everything that he could to annoy you, you knew that he came from a good place. You hate to admit it but you missed him too. Not only him but you also missed your best friend Isabelle. Izzy would come and visit you whenever she had to go to Idris to see her family. Giving you the low down on everything that had gone on from missions to just general gossip. You almost laughed when Izzy had told you that Jace was deadly jealous of Simon who so happened to be a vampire. All of this because of a girl called Clary. Jace had shown you a picture of her and you had to admit that you could see why he was smitten, she was absolutely gorgeous with a capital G. You actually felt sorry for Jace because you knew what it was like to have a crush on someone that you knew you could not have. “Well hello there stranger!” Within seconds of walking through the doors you found yourself crashing to the floor sending one of your bags that you were carrying to fall right onto Jace's foot. Izzy apologized as she stood up, helping you to your feet as she was at it. You smoothed down your already messy hair do and stared at her confused. “Do I know you?” Izzy's smile instantly faded. A look of pure horror crashed onto her face as she considered the thought of her best friend not remembering who she was. That was when you burst out laughing, causing the corners of Izzy's mouth to lift into a weak smile. “You are not allowed to do that. You had me worried!” She slapped your arm and slowly her smile increased to a full belly laugh. “I'm sorry Izzy you are just too easy. Come here!” Both of you hugged each other tight after being apart for so long. You scanned the rest of the room, spotting people that you could faintly remember as well as those that you considered family. There were some that you just couldn't put their face to a name, obviously new. But there was one person that you could see through the crowd, walking in the opposite direction, and fading into the distance. You could remember that dark wild hair anywhere. Alec. __

A week has passed and you had developed new relationships with the other Shadowhunters. Clary was an alright chick. Although you did find it hard to like her because of her behaviour with Jace. Jace had told you that things were odd between them. They were close but awkwardly close. She was still with Simon who is now a close friend of yours. Both of you spent a whole night talking about Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Comparing theories and reciting scenes together. Simon was just the nerdy friend that you were lacking while you were away in Idris. Jace was always thankful that he was able to pry Clary away from Simon while he was distracted by you. He even joked about you and Simon becoming the new power couple because of how similar you both were. Every time he would say this you would smack him in the back of the head and tell him to get his mind out of the gutter. Just because he wanted to drive a wedge between the two, allowing him to swoop in and comfort Clary, doesn't mean he can exploit his sister.

Simon and you were talking in the training room after spending some time sparring. When Clary and you got closer, she asked you whether you would mind helping to train Simon, knowing that you were one of the best in the institute. But also aware that not many of the other Shadowhunters were willing enough to work with a Vampire. “So what is it with you and Jace?” you asked as you through him a bottle of water from the table. With his fast reflexes he was able to retrieve the bottle before it made an impact onto his head. “Nice.” “What do you mean Y/N?” His head tilted to the side the way that a dog would. You had to admit, it always made you smile when he did that and he knew. “Jace is Jace and I am just me.” You snorted a little at his response making him hold his hands up and change his answer, “fine, you got me. Very wise you are. No wonder we get along.” He scratched at the back of his head while searching for the right thing to say. “Well Clary and Jace have always been close and had that tension...” “Tension?” Your eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah sexual tension.” He stood up and approached you. You were leaning against the table that was at the far side of the room, watching him as he talked and advanced towards you. “So basically they want each other. But not as partners or friends, but more.” Using his fingers to air quote the word 'want.' Your hand lifted to the top of his arm as you looked deep into your friends hurt eyes. “Simon, if you know all of this. Why do you stay with Clary?” He moved away, turning his back to you as he brought a hand to his head. “It's not that simple Y/N.” He paused, “I love her. I have loved her since I was old enough to know what love is. Maybe even before that. So you see, I cant let Jace get in the way. If I want this to work, then I have to make it work.” Before you could stop yourself you pulled him into a hug. You weren't quite his height so your head was flat against his chest. After a few seconds, his chin rested on the top of your head, wrapping his own arms around you. You weren't the type of person who would show weakness like this. Where you would show that you cared as much as you did, especially when your line of work is as dangerous as it was. There were only a select few that you would allow yourself to be yourself around. To truly care about. It was hard for you to let new people in, but Simon would be an exception. You just couldn't stand seeing him this hurt. Especially because you knew far too well how it felt. Your hug as well as your thoughts were interrupted by a loud cough. Pulling away startled, you looked to your right and noticed Alec with his arms crossed staring at you disapprovingly. You had not seen Alec since the day you had got back. Even then all you saw was him look over his shoulder as he walked away, locking eyes with you for what felt like an eternity, but in actual fact it was a split second. “If you're done 'hugging.' Some of us need to train.” With that he moved over to start the simulator, bow at the ready. This was your queue to leave. __

Another week had passed since the training room drama. The person who said that time heals all wounds, was the most brain dead person on the planet. You couldn't help but feel like shit the past week. Thinking about how Alec and you had been so close for years. But the minute you were back he saw you as nothing more than the Downworlders that he used to despise. You had no one that you could talk to about this. Jace was his best friend, nothing good would come from telling your brother that his best friend was ignoring his sister. You knew Jace all too well. Hearing something like this would make him want to confront Alec, regardless of who overheard or got hurt in the meantime. Izzy was Izzy, she was all for the romance. But something told you that her innuendo and sexual nature would not stretch to her own brother. She was great to talk to about relationships, but probably not this particular one. You couldn't even consider telling Simon any of this. Not now that he has his own shit to deal with. Why wasn't life fucking simple.

You were sat in the large communal kitchen, stirring your spoon around in your already soggy cereal. You were never fond of cereal once it had gone past that 'too' wet point, slipping into the mushy. Your mind on other things, causing your cereal to become gross and putting you off eating it. For it to only become something for you to play with. “You know mum hated it when you did that!” Jace walked in, obviously meaning Maryse your adopted mother since your real parents perished. Having Maryse as your mother made things a hell of a lot harder for you. “What's on your mind little one? You only play with your food when your mind is somewhere else.” “It's nothing Jace.” You pick up your bowl, only to have it snatched back. “Jace!” “What?” He said with a mouthful of soggy cereal, “no point in letting good food go to waste.” You scoffed and walked out of the room, leaving Jace behind with the rest of your breakfast. Looking at the rota, you knew that in ten minutes it would be your slot in the training room. Running back to your room so that you could change from your pjs into your training gear. __

Half an hour later you were in the middle of training. Hair plastered to your sweaty face, unattractive and an inconvenience. There were not many people who could use a bow apart from you and Alec. When you were younger, you and Alec would practice together in the simulator. Having each others back. If it wasn't for him being closer to Jace, it is possible that you and him would have become parabati. Alec always laughed when you would miss the target. But not in a mean way to make you feel like shit. But in a way that would push you to try better, to work harder for his approval. While you were shooting the targets after your extensive sparring battle with the fight simulator. Your mind went back to the memories of you two..

** Alec was shooting at the archery targets that you had both set up in the training room. Each arrow flew and hit the target dead in the centre perfectly. He would laugh every time that he managed to land a perfect arrow on the target. While you fumbled trying to get the arrow to reach the board. “Another point for me! Any one would think you're distracted.” Your head fell to the floor to look at your toes. “Don't be stupid Alec! You're just not playing fair.” “How am I not playing fair?” He snapped turning around to look you dead in the eye. You were 14 at the time, Alec was 16. “Because you put me under too much pressure to be like you. I am not you.” You walked over to grab an arrow from the table. Lined up the target with your eye but hesitated. While you were trying to focus on the target, your were interrupted as you felt hands ever so gently placed on your waist holding you steady. “Y/N focus. You shake when you are trying to focus. Focus on not shaking more than hitting the target. Breath and let go.” His head was right next to your ear whispering to you. You could feel his warm breath on your neck. It was hard to focus when you knees felt that wobbly. You let out a sharp breath and the arrow flew landing right next to Alec's in the board.  You could feel him smile without having to look at him. “The student has become the master.” You spun around with a big grin on your face. His hands fell from your waist and held onto your hands. “I knew you could do it. But I cant stand behind you every time we are in battle mind.” You laughed and fell into his chest. “Thank you Alec. You make me a better me. I hope I always have you around to keep me safe.” “We will always stick together. You and me, that's the truth. Forever and always.” “Forever and always!” You repeated as you nuzzled into his chest. **

“Are you gonna shoot, or what?” It was Alec who shook you out of your daydream about Alec. You released the arrow and sure enough you missed the target. You hadn't missed that bad since you were younger. “I am gonna go with or what” Alec snickered and walked out of the room. “What is your problem Alec?” You yell. Your eyes were glued to the doorway where he was just stood. All of a sudden he reappeared, arms crossed in his usual stance. “I have no idea what you are on about. But clearly you have forgotten everything that I taught you.” “Shut it Alec.” You turned back to the target quickly and shot an arrow landing right in the centre of the board. “I know what I am doing.” He turned and tried to walk away for a second time, but you weren't done. “You have been avoiding me since I got back. Why?” “Just drop it. Things have changed,” he paused, “people have changed. So just drop it.” By the time he finished what he was saying he was back through the door. Leaving you alone, again.

Part 2

#shadowhunter #shadowhunters fanfiction #shadowhunters mortal instruments #shadowhunters #shadowhunters imagine #shadowhunters gif #shadowhunters jace wayland #shadowhunters jace herondale #shadowhunters jace lightwood #shadowhunters jace #shadowhunters alec #shadowhunters alec lightwood #shadowhunters alec and jace #shadowhunters izzy #shadowhunters isabelle lightwood #shadowhunters isabelle #shadowhunters simon lewis #shadowhunters simon #shadowhunters clary #shadowhunters clary fairchild #shadowhunters clary fray #shadowhunters y/n #alec lightwood #alec lightwood fanfiction #alec lightwood imagine #alec lightwood smut #alec lightwood love #alec lightwood hate #love and hate #jace wayland

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #152

“if mary was only 14 when she had jesus, what does that make god?”

What’s something you initially disliked, but ended up liking? Uhhh... I'm drawing a blank right now. If you’re interested in having a long term relationship with someone, do you think that waiting a certain amount of time before you first have sex is a good idea? Or does it not matter?  I think it's a smart idea.  To me personally, sex should be an intimate experience with someone you love, not with someone you don't know deeply. Have you ever discovered something big by looking through someone’s phone, Facebook, email, etc.? No, never snooped on someone. Do you have any financial regrets? Either way, what’s an example of a GOOD financial decision you’ve made?  No, I've never really had to make big money decisions. Do you think it’s a good idea for kids’ sports teams to not keep score, or do you think that’s going overboard in trying to show sensitivity? I think you shouldn't keep score.  Teach children how to have fun for the sake of fun, not winning. Name a movie that you dislike but everyone else seems to love. Why do you dislike it? Drawing a blank again. *shrugs* Are you good at compromising or are you more of a “my way or the highway” kind of person?  I'm pretty nice at compromising, but of course it's going to depend on the case sometimes. Do you know any couples who sleep in separate beds? Do you think that if a couple makes that decision, they will eventually break up/divorce?  Yes, because one of them snores loudly.  But that doesn't mean they're gonna break up... Have you ever had a horrible boss or teacher? Did you ever confront them about it?  No, thankfully. Does it usually take awhile for you to completely come to terms with your emotions after something big happens or do you let it all out right away?  It's kinda both.  But mostly the former; I deeper understand what I'm feeling then. Is Thanksgiving an important holiday to you? Who did you spend last Thanksgiving with?  Honestly no, not really.  I should appreciate it more than I do for the sake of its concept. How far into your current (or last) relationship did you start thinking about your future with that person? Probably too early to be considered normal lmao. Are you a believer in “signs” from the universe about things in your life? If you are, can you think of a particular example? No. Name some things that one or both of your parents are really good at or really interested in.  Mom is suuuper into surgeries/seeing how the body works, and Dad's good at building shit I guess lmao. If someone told you that you would never achieve something and you ended up doing it, would you have any interest in finding that person and showing them?  Tbh yeah lol.  I do NOT take people underestimating my abilities kindly.  That's one reason the breakup was so bad. What is the most jealousy-induced thing you’ve ever done? Ehhhmmm.  I don't think I've done something in hopes of making someone jealous. Ever been kissed under fireworks?  No, but #goals. Which of your friends lives closest to you?  Colleen.  AKA, the only friend whose location I know. Do you like calling or texting better?  Don't call me, like ever lol. When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?  When I learned Mom and I couldn't go to the P!atD concert.  It's been a week or two and I'm still bummed. Do you think its right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?  ....... Does any human being on Earth believe it's wrong?????? Do you talk dirty to people?  HUNNY I couldn't even talk dirty in the middle of my ex and I doing shit lmao. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?  Dad; we talked on the phone a bit. The last thing you heard?  I'm listening to "Demons Are A Girl's Best Friend" by Powerwolf on repeat asjfdakjwi I'm addicted. Have you ever been to an animal shelter?  Yeah. Does it rain a lot where you live?  I wouldn't necessarily say a lot?  Afternoon thunderstorms are just about daily in the peak of summer, though. Do you live in the suburbs?  No. If you have a dog, does it bark a lot?  Ugh, both of them.  Slightest noise outside our house or in our driveway, it's over. What are your 3 top favorite movies?  The Lion King, Finding Nemo, and then probably The Lion King II. Can you juggle?  No. Who was your favorite Disney princess as a child?  Ariel. Who are your style icons?  Like every serious goth in the world give me money to afford this style. Do you believe in an afterlife?  I really do.  Will it be wonderful, bad, lonely, peaceful, reunited with our loved ones, who knows, but I believe in something good. What do you fear most about death?  The possibility there is no afterlife.  I obviously wouldn't exist anymore so wouldn't experience anything, but.  I never want my essence to vanish. What is your favorite country?  Dunno. Glitter or feathers?  I'm a glitter bitch. Have you ever self harmed?  Yeah. What is your favorite type of cake?  Red velvet. Who was your favorite author as a child?  Erin Hunter. Do you ever have days where you just don’t do anything?  Um, everyday???? Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep?  Yes, if it's too late to nap but too early to sleep.  And this one time I had a paranormal experience and I was terrified to. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been stuck in traffic?  Maybe around an hour during a roadtrip? Best field trip experience?  5th grade zoo trip with Dad, my then-best friend, and her mother. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before?  Nothing impressive. What is the worst thunderstorm you’ve experienced?  We've had plenty, who knows. Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class?  I've never gone to sleep in class. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert?  No. Are your parents supportive of you?  Yes, Mom especially. Has your mom ever directly told you that she favored your other sibling(s) over you?  No. Do your folks still have sex? Does it disgust you?  They're divorced so y'know. Do you like dried fruit (e.g. bananas, mangos, plums, etc.)?  NO. Can you stand eating the crusts of a slice of sandwich bread?  Yes, but it's my least favorite, so I eat it first to get it out of the way. Do you sleep with your window open at night?  Hell naw I don't want no Welcome to the Game shit. Do you do your homework at home or in class? Or how about in class the day it’s due?  I liked to start it in class if I could, but did the rest at home. When did you last see your parents?  I saw Dad a few days back at Ryder's b-day party, and I saw Mom this morning. Does it bother you when people get too obsessed about stupid stuff?  I feel like you're coming for me. What is the one fast food restaurant you have NEVER been to?  Denny's. Have you ever gotten to see the movie Twilight? Not the whole thing.  Nicole got it for Christmas and played it that day, and I stayed out in the living room with the family 'cuz yeah, Christmas. What was your favorite cartoon character as a kid?  Courage, probably. Do you live in a house or an apartment?  House. Do you live in the city or country?  Country. Do you take any prescription drugs?  Yeah. What is the one TV show you could watch over and over again?  That '70s Show. What is your favorite animal?  Meerkats, specifically the Kalahari sub-species. Who were the last 3 males you talked to?  Dad, Ryder, and Nick. What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? Did you like it?  White wine and I wanted to die. Have you ever had to claim insurance? What for?  No. Can you write in cursive?  Yeah, but I've forgotten one or two letters.  Not sure I recall the capital "g." Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope?  No. Where do you like to sit in the movie theater?  Middle. Do you normally finish one book before starting another?  When I read, I did. What is your favorite hot drink?  Hot chocolate. Do you wish you had a pool table? Omg so I would love to have like an arcade sorta room with stuff like that, but I doubt it'll happen. Is chest hair a turn-on? I wouldn't call it that for me personally.  I prefer none or little, but I'm not gonna find a guy unattractive just for that. Which has been the best year of your life so far?  2017.  Full of growth and good memories. Do you have a picture with your middle finger up? No, but admittedly I wanna have one of Sara and me kissing with one for the camera because gay pride to piss off homophobes lol. If your boyfriend or girlfriend smoked pot, would you care?  I'd care if it was for non-medicinal use and illegal in the state. When is the last time you attended a church service?  Oh jeez.  Sometime last year when Colleen was in her super-religious phase. Does it bother you when people respond with one word texts? If I'm making an effort to make conversation, yes.  If there's not really anything to respond to, no. If you could have a twin, would you?  No. If you had to give up your arms or your legs -which would it be?  Legs.  I cherish the use of my arms more. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?  If I'll be happy and content. If you had to be sick for the rest of your life would you choose something that kills you quickly & painfully, or bearably but slowly?  Yikes, not sure.  I guess the latter?  I don't want to just abruptly leave my loved ones. Have you ever made out with a member of the same sex?  Not yet. :P What is the coolest band name you have ever heard?  Definitely some kind of heavy or death metal band.  Off the top of my head, I think Cradle of Filth sounds wicked. Who was the last smoker you were around? Did they smoke around you?  Dad, and yes. Who do you know that can make you feel better if you’re not feeling happy?  Sara and certain YouTubers. Are you more talkative over the Internet?  YEAH DEFINITELY. Have you ever done something sexual that you regret?  Nah.  Loved him then, whatever. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret?  Yeah. Where do you wanna go for vacation?
  I'd love to go to the pink beaches in the Bahamas ahhhh Do you only wish the best for your ex?  Yeah.  I kinda even do with Jason, but at the same time, I want that fucker to see he will never find a perfect relationship, as he obviously wants judging from me and the girl he dated after me.  So I take that back, I don't think I wish the best for him until he learns his lesson. Do you change your phone background a lot?  No. Does a male or female sing the last song you listened to?  Male. Can you count in Roman numerals?  To a certain height.  I don't know what comes after "X"s.  Maybe "L?" What’s in your front yard?  Grass, a small tree, some small flowers... Have you ever lucid dreamed? Would you like to, or does the thought of being able to control your dreams scare you?  No, but it'd be cool to. Would you like the ability to read minds?  No. Do you know how to fish?  Yes. Did you/are you planning on going to college?  I'm going back in January. Have you ever built a snowman?  Yeah.  We rarely get the kind of snow that packs enough to make one, though. When was the last time you moved to a new house?  Over a year ago. Do you know any high school sweethearts? How’s life treating them? My best friend and her husband.  They still love each other and have a son now. Which is the scariest ride you have ever been on in a theme park? This ride that took you way too high up into the air then abruptly dropped & it was horrifying ahhhhhh

#survey #quiz #questions #random

[dngrs-untld-hrshps-unnmbrd]

The Tattoo Parlour

Zavala x Reader humour/romance | G-rated | Gender neutral

This story is inspired by several things seen in Destiny. The first is of course Zavala's neck tattoos, which drive me a bit wild. Stern, serious Zavala has tattoos? How many? Where are they? What do they look like? Oh I need to lie down ...

The second is a quote from the Legend of the Titan mission: 'Before I stepped into my role with the Vanguard I was ... much more spirited.' And the last is the Mark of Bluster: 'The Blustery Brew is a favourite City tavern amongst Titans.'

What follows is a story about Zavala's younger, spirited days, featuring his good friend Shaxx and you, dear reader. Oh, and I headcanon Shaxx as ALWAYS TALKING IN CAPITALS. Big shouty good-hearted boy.

'You're drunk. I'm not doing it.'

The Awoken man grins at you disarmingly. 'I'm only a little bit drunk.'

Behind him, an enormous man in orange-and-white armour is peering at the tattoo designs tacked up on the walls of your shop. 'I'M GOING TO GET A DRAGON. NO, A TIGER. ZAVALA, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS TIGER?'

The one called Zavala is watching you and smiling. 'We've only had three pints. We're perfectly in control of our faculties, aren't we, Shaxx?'

You look at him narrowly. It's gone midnight and you were about to close up and go to bed. Plenty of people come to you at night to get their tattoos done because they work most of the day, but occasionally that means people coming out of the Blustery Brew a few doors down and making the decision to get a tattoo on impulse. It's one of your personal rules: never ink a drunk person. Ever.

'THIS TIGER. HE'S PROWLY. WHERE SHOULD I GET HIM? I'LL GET HIM ON MY HIP, SO HE'S PROWLING DOWN TO MY -'

You clear your throat meaningfully. If they've only had three pints apiece then you're the Speaker’s left ass cheek.

Zavala's eyes drop to your arms and he looks at the leaves and wildflowers inked down to your wrists. You can't help but notice how thick and dark his eyelashes are. You've known a few Awoken, and inked even more, and you've always found them to be unusually attractive. This man, however, manages to be beautiful and handsome at the same time. He'd be a pleasure to ink.

He reaches out to trace the patterns on your arms with a forefinger but then seems to remember his manners and stops himself. He raises his gaze to yours and the light in his eyes makes your stomach do a swooping thing. 'They're beautiful,' he murmurs. His eyes travel up your arm to where the tattoos disappear inside your sleeve. You see the question in his bright eyes: Where else do you have them?

They're all over your body, but you don't go around showing just anyone.

You point to the door. 'Sorry, not tonight. Come back another time.'

Shaxx has overheard and turns to you. 'WHAT? BUT WE WANT TATTOOS. ZAVALA, SHOW THEM THE CANVAS. THEY WON'T BE ABLE TO RESIST.' Shaxx reaches for the hem of Zavala's tunic and yanks on it.

'Get off.'

But despite Zavala's protests Shaxx wrestles the Awoken man's tunic up and over his head. He points at Zavala's naked torso. 'LOOK AT HIM. DON'T YOU JUST WANT TO DRAW ALL OVER HIM?'

Zavala clenches his jaw, amused and exasperated. Despite yourself you look, and he's a lovely sight. Broad through the shoulders and muscled, and either he shaves his chest or just doesn't have a lot of body hair because his skin is smooth. He has several tattoos already, two small designs on either side of his neck, some strange dragon-bird thing on his right bicep and a six-sided Titan symbol over his heart.

He looks sheepish but hopeful as he watches your face. 'I was thinking of getting the Crucible symbol here, on my shoulder.' He twists a little to show you the expanse of his shoulder blade, as yet unmarked by a needle.  

'BEST GUARDIAN I'VE EVER HAD IN THE CRUCIBLE,' Shaxx roars, thumping Zavala on the shoulder before swerving back to look at the tigers. Distracted, he doesn't notice when you step forward and tug Zavala's tunic from his fingers.

Pressing it into Zavala's hands you lean close and whisper, 'How many pints did you really have?'

He glances surreptitiously at Shaxx. 'Eight. But I promise you we know what we're doing.'

His proximity is making you a little light-headed and you're becoming more and more tempted by the second to push him into your chair so you can ink him. His skin looks very soft and smooth and is a lovely shade of blue.

He smiles, sensing you weakening. 'What do you say?'

You take a deep breath and look him in the eye. 'No. Tattoos are forever, and you boys have a lot of forever ahead of you. I'm not going to be responsible for some drunken mistake. Now off you go, I'm going to bed.'

The larger Titan protests loudly but Zavala seems to sense that they're imposing and hustles him out. The last thing you hear as you switch off the lights and lock the door is, 'THAT TIGER, ZAVALA. HE WAS BEAUTIFUL. DON'T LET ME FORGET ABOUT THAT TIGER.'

You don't expect to see the two Titans again but the next evening Zavala is back. It's early and the sun has only just set. There's a rifle holstered to his back and a smear of dirt across his cheek and nose.

You fold your arms and look at the weapon. 'Are you going to shoot me if I don't ink you this time?'

He looks sheepish, and glances at you from beneath those dark lashes. 'Sorry. I just came in from patrol and I wanted to apologise for our behaviour last night. We were rude to you.'

His smile is infectious and you find yourself smiling back. 'Not rude, but perhaps overly enthusiastic. Your friend really likes tigers?'

'Oh, he does. Wouldn't stop talking about that design all the way back to the Tower. I'm Zavala.' He holds out his hand and you shake it, telling him your name. He watches you for a moment. 'I still want that tattoo by the way, if I haven't used up all my goodwill with you.'

You remember what his bare, muscled shoulder looks like and your heart starts to race. What's wrong with you? Inking people is a job that you've done for years, a fun job certainly but it doesn't usually get you fluttering like a teenager. You pretend to consider it for a moment. 'All right. But I don't know what a Crucible symbol looks like.'

He thinks for a moment, and then pulls a rectangle of burgundy fabric from his hip and holds it out. There's a symbol stitched onto it in white, two crossed swords inside a diamond. You're disappointed by how simple it is. It won't take long at all.

'Okay, take off your ...' But he's already unbuckled the little armour he was wearing and pulled his tunic over his head, and your mouth goes dry. He's just as toned and well proportioned as you remember. And so much bare skin. You could waste a lifetime lovingly inking that skin.

'What, um, colour do you want?'

He points to the Titan mark over his heart. 'Do you have this shade of dark blue? All my tattoos are this colour.'

You step closer and examine it, for a few seconds longer perhaps than is necessary. 'Um. Yep. I've got that colour.' You point him to your chair and take a seat behind him on a stool.

This part is pure ritual, marking out the design and readying your needles, and even though the broad expanse of his back is right there it's easy to concentrate on what you're doing. As you start to ink the design into his skin you talk over the buzz of the needle, and he's surprisingly knowledgeable about books, especially pre-Collapse poetry. You didn't think anyone else read that stuff. He's easy to talk to as well, listening to what you have to say and asking questions. Most people talk about themselves in your chair.

He glances over his shoulder at you. 'Those designs on your arms are lovely by the way. What are they?'

You glance at your forearms. 'Plants and wildflowers that grow in the Cosmodrome. I used to go out and draw them.'

'Used to?'

Damn, you hadn't meant to say that. 'Yeah. It's dangerous out there, you know.'

You hear the smile in his voice. 'Oh, I know. But you can still go out there, to some places, if you're careful and know how to shoot.'

'I can shoot.'

'Well, then?'

For some reason you don't mind showing him. Putting down the needle you pull back the short sleeve of your shirt and show him the jagged, five-inch scar across the top of your arm. 'Got cut up by a Vandal and nearly bled out. Didn't think it was worth risking my neck to draw plants after that.'

He's quiet for a few minutes, thinking. 'How long ago was that?'

'Four years.' And you haven't been outside the Walls since.

Zavala's silent for a long time after that, but it's a thoughtful, comfortable silence. Fifteen minutes later you’re done and you sit back to admire your work. The symbol looks good on him, and it's pleasing know he'll be bearing something of yours everywhere he goes.

Once you've bandaged him up and he's paid, and he's carefully put his gear back on, you notice his eyes straying across your ink again, the patterns that he can see on your collarbone.

Giving him a teasing look, you say, 'You're wondering where else I have them, aren't you?'

'No! No I ... wasn't.' He smiles. 'All right. I was. They're very beautiful. I recognise some of the plants now.' He thinks for a moment, his smile disappearing. 'I could take you out there. I know some places beyond the Wall where it's more or less safe, and you could draw while I keep watch.'

The offer is so surprising you can't speak for a moment. 'But you've got enough to do. All that Guardian stuff.'

'I have free time. There's so much beauty out there, you should see it again. I noticed today that all the wildflowers have come out.'

'I ...'

But you trail off, because his eyes have dropped to your mouth. He steps closer, slowly so you could stop him if you wanted, but without hesitating. You don't stop him, and he kisses you softly. You haven't been kissed in some time and you're not sure what to do with your hands for a moment, but then he pulls you closer and they're resting on his chest.  He feels very warm and solid beneath your fingers, and tentatively you open your mouth and he deepens the kiss.

He pulls a way a little, and speaking softly his fingers trace a vine that curls up behind your ear. 'It's my day off tomorrow. How about I come pick you up in the morning, around eleven, and take you out to a place I know?'

'Just so I can draw some flowers? Really?'

But he just smiles and kisses you again. 'Really. I'll see you in the morning.' Then he's gone, and you move around in a daze for a while, tidying up and wondering how two drunk Titans wandering into your shop turned into kissing and going outside the Wall for the first time in years.

I noticed today that all the wildflowers have come out. He's out there fighting, and he notices stuff like that? And he seemed to care whether you saw those things again. Smiling to yourself, you shake your head.

Just over an hour later your hear heavy footsteps approaching and Zavala's large friend pokes his head into your shop, grinning broadly.

'ZAVALA SHOWED ME HIS TATTOO. IT'S AMAZING. SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT. CAN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT TIGER IF YOU'RE NOT BUSY?'

You laugh. 'Of course, come in. Now, remind me, where exactly did you want it prowling?'

Thank you for reading! I don't have a tattoo fetish/kink/thing but for some reason the idea of inking Zavala gets me all flustered. I hope it got you a little flustered too.

#destiny fanfiction #commander zavala #zavala #lord shaxx #destiny 2 #destiny the game #commander zavala x guardian