#yeah. yeah they ARE pretty good past blair (they are going to become your personality)

[copiasblair]

today marks 9 months since my dad ruined my life/pos

#i've said before but i knew them peripherally before this #but this was when i decided to dive head first #and. well. here we are #yeah. yeah they ARE pretty good past blair (they are going to become your personality) #(that guy in the thumbnail is your soulmate) #also i want you to know there's about 2 weeks between these screenshots- #and me convincing him to take me to la to see them #it happened so fast #what do you have to say doll?

[huttons]

if you’re in love, you’re a lucky one || nathan mackinnon

word count: 20.7k

summary:  Rory is just trying to find her place in Denver after landing her dream job after university. As she slowly finds friends and starts to feel comfortable with the choices she made, she meets none other than Nathan Mackinnon. They hit it off fast, but not everything turns out like a dream.

author’s note: This was written as part of @hockeynetwork​‘s winter fic exchange for @broadstbroskis​! I’m sorry this took so long, but I really do hope it’s worth the wait <3 A lot of love went into this, and I’d also love to thank @antoineroussel​ for listening to me yell about this fic for far too long.

“Never leave a friend behind. Friends are all we have to get us through this life - and they are the only things from this world that we could hope to see in the next.” ― Dean Koontz

Rory feels extremely lucky that she managed to find a job in her field before graduation has rolled around, even if it’s cutting things a little bit close. She knows how hard it is, especially seeing her friends struggle with it all. Even knowing how lucky she is, a huge part of her is anxious about having to move to a completely different state than all of the people she’s gotten close to during university. There’s something terrifying about starting over in a place you know nothing about.

At least the things she’s heard about Denver are almost all good. Besides, it’s not like she’s moving to the other side of the country, but Rory still feels overwhelmed at all of the things she has to prepare for. In the moments that it all starts to become too much, she wonders if she made the right choice.

“I think it’s a little too late to back out,” Piper laughs. “You already have everything set up and ready to go. Besides, you got that LiDAR job you were freaking out so much about. I refuse to let you drop out of it now.”

Rory sighs. “I know, it’s just scary. Like… what if I hate my coworkers? I’m depending on the fact that we become friends because how else am I supposed to make friends?”

“You’re pretty likeable, I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Piper replies, smiling brightly. “But if they end up being shitty, I’ll fly down here with the girls and fight them for you.”

“I appreciate it,” Rory says softly, smiling a little.

“Of course, it’s the least we could do. Now, do you want to go over your list again?” Piper inquires. “Or do you feel confident about it now?”

“You’ve told me I’ve had everything the last three times, I don’t think it’s possible for me to be missing everything,” Rory sighs.

“There we go, that’s the spirit!” Piper teases.

Rory rolls her eyes. “Maybe it is a good thing I’m moving to another state.”

“Whatever you say,” Piper replies, smiling. “Now, do you wanna have movie night with the girls?”

Rory smiles, nodding, knowing that this is probably the last time everyone will be able to hang out before finals and everyone going their own ways. It’s a terrifying thought knowing that they won’t be seeing each other again come September, but she knows that everyone is going to be doing amazing things. Besides, they’d all still be friends, things would just be looking a little bit different.

The last few weeks roll by in a state of panic Rory hasn’t felt in a long time. All of her friends were panicked by finals, but also saddened by the fact that this would be the last time everyone would be doing this together. When the day comes for Rory to pack up everything in the back of her SUV, everything feels a bit surreal.

“I’m scared,” Rory whispers to Piper as she puts the last box in the trunk.

“I think we all are,” Piper replies, smiling sadly. “This feels like we’re all being thrown into proper adulthood again with no better idea of what to do.”

Rory snorts. “Yeah, it really does. I just… nothing is gonna be the same, is it?”

“No, but don’t think you’re gonna get rid of me that easily. We didn’t go through all of this for nothing,” Piper reassures. “I know I can’t just waltz over when someone breaks your heart, but I’m still just a phone call away.”

“And you better call before making any impulsive decisions,” Rory teased.

“But they won’t be impulsive if I tell you first,” Piper groans.

Rory laughs. “Yeah, that’s kind of the point.”

“You’ll do great, Rory. Don’t let them intimidate you too much down there.”

“I’ll do my best.”

They hug tightly one last time before Rory gets in the car and starts the long drive to Denver. It feels weird not making the usual drive back to her parents house, and it takes everything in her to not just turn right around. She turns up the music, and focuses on just trying to get to the first motel of the drive. There’s something lonely about not making the long drive with anyone else, especially being so used to just driving with her friends. 

Over the next week, Rory makes the drive to Denver, making stops at different state parks to take in the view. Before she knows it, she’s rolled up to her new apartment complex. Everything starts to feel a bit more real as she realizes that this is where she’ll be living for quite some time. Taking a deep breath, she prepares herself for the long process of getting signed into her new place.

By the end of the day, Rory feels exhausted, even though she’s barely managed to unpack everything she brought. None of it is even organized yet, but it’s good enough for a first day. As she gets ready for bed, she groans, remembering that she still needs to get a bed, meaning that she’ll be sleeping on an air mattress until that happens. 

“Ugh, this is what I get,” Rory mutters as she sets up her sleeping situation. “At least I don’t start work for a few days. That’s an upside, right?”

A few moments later, her phone is ringing, and it’s none other than Piper, probably checking in to make sure that she made it safely to the apartment.

“Oh good, you’re not dead,” Piper says, obviously smiling.

Rory rolls her eyes. “No, I’m not dead, but I just remembered that I’m gonna have to sleep on an air mattress until I get a proper bed.”

“See, I told you that you should just tie one to the top of your car!” Piper exclaims.

“It would have gotten wet from sitting outside overnight though. Nobody wants a wet mattress.”

“But I bet it sounds better than an air mattress.”

“Yeah, I don’t really know about that,” Rory replies, laughing. “I guess that should be my first priority tomorrow. Honestly, I can’t believe I didn’t sort this out before I left.”

“You had other things to worry about, like making sure you didn’t fail your geology final,” Piper jokes.

“I suppose you’re not wrong,” Rory sighs dramatically.”

“Of course I’m not. Now, where are my pictures? Send me pictures,” Piper demands.

Thankfully, the rest of the conversation helps ease Rory’s nerves, and she falls asleep quickly that night. When she wakes up in the morning, she groans as she stretches a bit. She decides that trying to find something more comfortable to sleep on is her mission for the day.

The next few days pass rather quickly as Rory does her best to get herself organized and situated before starting work. As her first day approaches, she feels nervous, still unsure of what to make of everything. But she’s also excited for it, knowing that she’s been waiting for this moment ever since she decided to become a geology major.

When her first day rolls around, she can feel the nerves thrumming through her, and she ends up at the office almost an hour early. It doesn’t seem like anybody else is there yet, so she waits in the parking lot until somebody taps on her window. She startles, but calms down when Rory realizes that it’s Shea, the guy who interviewed her.

“It’s good to meet you in person, Rory,” Shea greets as Rory gets out of the car. “Got here a little bit early, I’m guessing?”

“Yeah, you would be correct,” she replies, smiling a little. “I just wasn’t sure what to expect with traffic and I was nervous, so…”

“Happens to all of us. We’re the first ones here, so I’ll give you a quick tour before everyone else gets here,” Shea replies.

The office is fairly small, but that’s not surprising considering a lot of the work is done on various field sites. Rory perks up a little when Shea shows that she’ll have her own little corner of the office; she’d assumed she’d have to share space with someone else.

“We just like to make sure everyone feels like they have their own space here. It just makes everyone feel a bit more comfortable, you know?” Shea explains when Rory brings it up. “Besides, it’s not like there’s that many of us to take up space.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense,” she replies.

Over the next few weeks, Rory feels a bit in over her head, but slowly starts to settle in. Her coworkers are welcoming, some inviting her to hang out outside of work as well. It’s more than she expected before moving to Denver, but she’s grateful for the warm welcome. There’s still days where she feels overwhelmed and misses seeing her friends every day, but she manages her best.

It’s a little over a month later when Shea invites her to go to the bar with a few other people from the office. Apparently it’s somewhat of a tradition with the group, and Rory feels delighted at being included.

“Of course you’re invited,” Shea says when Rory brings it up. “We just didn’t want to scare you off with being too much.”

Rory laughs a little. “I don’t think you guys can get any louder than my friends from university.”

“Well, I think we can take that as a challenge,” Ashton retorts. “Things can get a little bit wild over here.”

“Don’t listen to them, they’re just kidding,” Blair says, trying to hide her smile. “We mostly just hang out and grab a few drinks since most of us are past our partying days.”

The casual banter continues as they walk the few blocks to the bar that they frequent. Rory isn’t quite sure what she was expecting, but it seems like a relatively laid back place, at least in comparison to what she’s used to. At first, she feels a little bit out of place, unsure of where she stands with everyone in this new setting, but after a couple of drinks, she starts to settle in.

By the time she’s heading back to her apartment, Rory realizes that it’s been a long time since she’s laughed so much. There’s a small part of her that feels like she’s betraying her university friends, but she knows that’s ridiculous. Still, the feeling tugs at her, so she gives in and decides to call Piper, knowing that her friend will pick up.

“Hey, babe, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you,” Piper greets. “Is something up?”

“No, just missed you,” Rory whispers as she flops onto her bed. “Went out with some of my coworkers tonight and it felt weird. They were nice, but it’s just so different.”

“Oh, that sounds nice,” Piper replies, obviously smiling. “I’m glad you found new drinking buddies.”

“Nah, it wasn’t like that,” Rory says. “We mostly just talked, you know? But made me miss everyone.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Piper inquires, a little bit concerned. “Or is it like a ‘just kind of missing everyone’ type of thing?”

“I guess I just realized how different everything is going to be now,” Rory says softly.

“Well, that’s not a bad thing. Besides, you know I would come kick your ass before I let you forget about me. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do, Piper, you know I wouldn’t forget you.”

“That’s good then. Now, tell me about who you went to the bar with. I want to know everything.”

Rory smiles softly before talking about her night. She’s not sure how long they spend on the phone together, but when she falls asleep, she feels calmer than she has in a long time. 

~ ~ ~

A few years down the line, and Rory has truly settled into Denver. She can’t imagine herself living anywhere else, and she’s grown to love her job and coworkers far more than she ever expected. There’s moments where it all feels a bit surreal that Rory was ever scared of moving, but now that she has great friends and a routine, it feels like this is what was meant to happen.

It’s another Friday night when she and the usual group are getting ready to head to the bar, albeit a bit later than normal. They all got swept up in a large project with a close deadline, and while going straight to bed sounds tempting, they’re more tempted by the new menu the bar rolled out earlier this week.

“I can’t believe I could be in bed, but instead I’m staying up to get bar food,” Ashton groans. “How the hell is this my life now?”

“I mean, it’s not too late to head back,” Rory teases. “We can always tell you about it on Monday.”

“That’s… that’s even worse,” Ashton complains. “This better be worth it.”

“Okay, but when has their food ever disappointed us?” Blair points out. 

“Exactly!” Shea exclaims. “Besides, we can just stay for food and then leave.”

“I guess,” Ashton sighs. 

When they get to the bar, they grab their normal table as Shea goes up to order. Considering it’s a Friday night, there aren’t too many people here, which is a big reason why they keep coming back. However, when Shea comes back with their food, a loud group comes walking in, earning them a couple of glares.

“Wait a minute,” Shea whispers, squinting at the group as he sets down the food. “I recognize them.”

Rory looks at him, confused. “Are they like… friends of yours that we don’t know about? I thought we were your only friends.”

“Oh my god,” Shea says, trying to hold back laughter. “No, they definitely play for the Avs. They are definitely professional athletes.”

“Well, what the fuck are they doing here then?” Ashton inquires as they grab some fries. “As much as I love it here, it’s kind of dingy.”

Shea shrugs. “Hell if I have a clue.”

They ignore the group for most of the night since they’re on opposite sides of the bar and never quite intersect. However, when Rory goes to get another drink, she sees her friends trying to not laugh as she makes her way back. She gives them a confused look, unsure if she did something weird.

“What did I miss?” Rory asks, concerned.

“Nothing, just seems like someone is checking you out,” Blair answers, smiling and glancing over to the Avs players. 

Rory snorts. “That’s a good one.”

“No, we’re being serious, I promise,” Ashton says, smirking. “You’re getting us drinks next just to make sure.”

“No, I don’t think I will,” Rory replies, squinting. “Besides, I think you’re wrong.”

“Well, there’s no way to prove it if you don’t go back,” Ashton teases. “Don’t you want to know if a professional hockey player is checking you out.”

“I really think I’m good,” Rory sighs.

“Weren’t you just complaining to us about your lack of dating life? This is a great chance to turn things around,�� Shea says, smiling widely. 

“I really hate all of you and I have no clue why we’re friends,” Rory groans.

“Look, it’s worth a shot, isn’t it?” Blair inquires. 

“Why do you say that like I’m going to go talk to them?” Rory whispers intently. “Because I’m not going to.”

Ashton rolls their eyes. “Fine, I guess. But it’s your loss. I was thinking you could at least badger him into buying our drinks or something.”

“Please, as if we don’t already get a discount for coming here all the fucking time,” Rory laughs. “Besides, I don’t think that a professional hockey player would want to date someone who’s idea of a Friday night is to go try new bar food.”

“You say that like this is a bad thing,” Blair jokes. “But we won’t push it if you really don’t want us to.”

“Look, maybe he checked me out, but that means nothing,” Rory says. “It just makes me feel kind of weird, I guess.”

“We’ll leave it alone then,” Shea replies firmly. 

They spend the rest of the night joking around, and start to head out. As Rory is grabbing her purse, ready to catch up with her friends who are already at the door, she hears a faint hello. She turns around and sees one of the Avs players, presumably the one her friends said was checking her out. 

“Oh, uh, hi,” Rory says awkwardly. “Did… did you need something?”

The guy blushes a little, which Rory admits is a little cute. “I just wanted to say hi and uh… maybe ask for your number?”

“I, uh,” Rory replies, taken off guard. “Going straight for it, huh? Not even going to ask my name?”

“Shit, that was… that was way too forward, wasn’t it?” the guy says, awkwardly laughing. 

Rory smiles a little bit. “Yeah, just a little bit. I’m Rory, by the way. And what’s your name?”

“I’m Nate,” the guy replies, looking a little bit confused.

“It’s nice to meet you Nate. And as much as I would love to give you my number, I also don’t know anything about you,” Rory replies.

“So that’s… that’s a no?” he asks, looking a little defeated.

“My friends and I come here every Friday night. If you’re not busy next week, swing by with a couple of your friends,” Rory answers, giving him a small smile. 

“Ah, you want to see if I pass the friend check first?” Nate inquires, smiling crookedly.

Rory nods. “See you around then?”

“I - yeah, of course,” Nate says faintly as Rory walks off.

She can feel herself internally screaming, unsure if what she did was smart or not. Even if Nate is a professional athlete, she still doesn’t know him, and giving her number to strangers doesn’t feel quite right. When she meets up with her friends outside, they’re all giving her inquisitive looks.

“So, did loverboy come over and talk to you?” Ashton inquires.

Rory blushes. “Yeah, he asked for my number, and I, uh, I didn’t give it to him? I just told him to meet us here next week if he was really interested.”

“Holy shit, that’s bold,” Shea says, smiling. “But like… not in a bad way. It’s probably for the best, if I’m being honest.”

“Making him work for it, I like it,” Blair comments, smiling.

Rory sighs loudly. “I’m not making him work for it, it’s just that I don’t like giving my number to people I don’t know.”

“Whatever you say,” Blair says, rolling her eyes a little bit. “Let’s just hope he shows up next week then.”

Throughout the next week, they find any chance to tease Rory about the upcoming Friday night. Not that any of this really surprised her, though, especially knowing that they’ve been there for all of her complaining about being single. They want this to be something good just as much as she does. When the day finally rolls around, they all keep giving her smirks, knowing what’s about to happen.

“You know, he might not even show up,” Rory points out as they pack up their things.

Ashton snorts. “Something tells me that he will.”

“If Ashton says so, then it must be true,” Shea says, smiling widely. “Hopefully he doesn’t keep us waiting too long.”

“You guys are the worst,” Rory mutters. 

Everyone laughs as they start the familiar walk towards the bar. As much as she doesn’t want to admit it, Rory feels nervous. There’s a big part of her that feels like the previous week wasn’t even real, especially considering what a big shot Nate is in Denver. If he doesn’t show up, she tries to reason that it was a fluke and she has nothing to be hurt over. However, there’s also a small part of her that hopes it means something.

“So, like… did you even sort any details out with him besides coming here tonight?” Blair inquires, curious. 

“Just decided to hope for the best,” Rory replies, shrugging. “Didn’t think it would be a big deal or anything.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” Shea snickers. “And would you look at that - looks like he brought backup too.”

“Dear god,” Rory murmurs as she looks over at the entrance.

Nate looks around confused for a few moments before he spots Rory. He smiles brightly when he spots her, making Rory blush and sink down in her seat. Even though she knows that she’s the one who set this up, she still feels weird about it, unsure of what to really expect of tonight. Thankfully, her friends don’t say anything as he makes his way over.

“Good to see you didn’t bail out,” Nate says once he gets up to the table. “Mind if we grab a seat?”

“Might be more convenient than standing,” Rory jokes.

“I - okay, you have a point,” Nate says as his friends try to hold back their laughter.

“So, who are your friends?” Rory asks as they grab a seat.

“Oh, this is Gabe and Tyson,” Nate answers. “And… you all are?”

“These are my coworkers and, unfortunately, also my best friends,” Rory explains. “This is Shea, Ashton, and Blair.”

“Nice to meet all of you,” Nate says awkwardly. 

There’s a few moments of silence where nobody quite knows what to say. To be honest, Rory didn’t actually plan for this because she wasn’t sure if Nate would actually show up tonight. She’s not quite sure how to break the silence, unsure of what to talk about.

“So, what do all of you do for work?” Gabe inquires, obviously looking for anything to talk about.

Things get a little bit easier after that, as they explain the work they do with LiDAR. They end up using the same explanation they use when schools tour their office - just a simple way to explore what’s underground using light. Rory gets the sense that a chunk of it is going over Nate and his friends’ heads, but they genuinely look interested in what’s happening. Something about that makes her feel a little bit more at ease, even if they aren’t totally getting it, they’re at least trying.

“And I mean, we’re a pretty ragtag group since this is kind of a weird field to end up in. So I guess it makes sense that we all just kind of clicked,” Shea explains. 

“That must be nice,” Nate says, smiling softly. 

“So, what do you do?” Ashton inquires, trying their hardest to not smile.

Rory rolls her eyes, knowing that Ashton is just trying to get them to talk a bit more.

“Oh, uh, we all play hockey for the Avalanche,” Nate answers, obviously taken a little bit off guard. 

“Care to tell the class about what that means?” Blair asks. “Like… what’s that even like?”

Nate seems to loosen up a little as he gets to talk about something he’s obviously comfortable with. The rest of the night seems to pass quickly, and before Rory knows it, everyone starts heading out for the evening. Before she gets up from the table, though, she notices Nate giving her a questioning look.

“We’ll wait for you outside,” Shea says as he looks between the two of them. “If you’re not out in five minutes, I’ll come back inside, though.”

Rory nods and turns back to Nate. “Seems like you passed the friend check.”

“Oh, well, that’s good,” he replies, laughing nervously. “Does that mean I can get your number?”

“I suppose so,” Rory replies, trying to not laugh.

After exchanging numbers, they head out, and Rory’s friends are obviously interested in what happened. She rolls her eyes, knowing that they’re too nosy for their own good.

“We just exchanged numbers, that’s it,” Rory says. “Literally nothing else happened.”

“Like… no future dates planned?” Blair inquires, teasing.

“No,” Rory says. “I still barely know him.”

“But like… is that not the point of a date?” Shea replies, smiling. 

“You’re all the worst, I can’t believe we’re friends,” Rory groans. 

Ashton smiles widely. “Please, we’re the best. Who else would sit through an unofficial first date?”

“That’s not what this was!” Rory exclaims, blushing. “I don’t need you to chaperone me.”

“Sure, but we did it anyways,” Ashton snickers. 

Rory rolls her eyes, but lets it drop. “Well, at least you’ll be the first to know if anything actually does happen.”

“We better be,” Blair laughs. “Anyways, I’ll see you all on Monday. Make sure to get some sleep because we all know how busy things are going to be next week.”

“Ugh, I don’t even want to think about it,” Ashton groans. 

The group laughs as they all head their separate ways. When Rory gets back to her apartment, she knows she has to tell Piper, knowing that her friend is going to want to know everything. Piper has been there for everything, and if anyone would know what to do next, it would be her.

“Rory, what’s got you calling me so late?” Piper asks, teasing a little.

“So, uh, do you remember me telling you about the guy last week? I finally got his number,” Rory says. “And, uh, I’m only freaking out a little bit.”

Piper snorts. “Well, that’s a good start at least. Have you texted him at all yet?”

“Uh, no?” Rory replies. “What would I even say?”

“Maybe ask if he had a good night or whatever,” Piper says, obviously trying to not laugh.

“I- fuck, you’re probably right,” Rory mutters.

“But honestly, you don’t need to make it a thing right away. And that’s probably the right way to go, you know?”

“So… just be friends? I feel like he wanted my number for a date.”

“Sure, but also as your best friend, I know you don’t like dating people you don’t really know either. If it’s a big deal, then it’s whatever.”

“That’s easy for you to say, Piper.”

“Maybe, but there’s no harm in taking things slow. Besides, you said he was a professional athlete, right? The dude could pick anyone to hang out with on a Friday night and he picked you. I really think you’re fine.”

“I really hate when you’re the voice of reason,” Rory groans.

Rory laughs. “It has to happen sometimes. But seriously, I would stress about it, and just play it casual. There’s no reason to force yourself to do something you’re not ready to do.”

“I want to be ready, though,” Rory whispers. “I’ve been complaining about this ever since I moved to Denver.”

“Whatever happens, it’ll all be okay. Just keep me in the loop, okay?” Piper says. “Now go drink some water and go to bed.”

“Thank you Piper,” Rory says softly. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too. I’ll talk to you soon,” Piper replies before hanging up.

Rory sighs, but does what Piper said. After chugging down a glass of water, she sends a quick text to Nate asking what he thought of the night before promptly deciding to pass out. She’s not even sure if he’s still awake, but it’s better to just get it over with.

When she wakes up, Rory immediately checks her phone, but doesn’t see a reply. She shrugs it off, assuming he’s still asleep. As the day goes on, she gets more nervous at the lack of reply, but tries to not think anything of it. Professional athletes have weird schedules, so she blames it on that. Turns out, she’s right when he replies later that afternoon.

Hey, sorry for not replying earlier, I barely made it to practice on time :(

No!!! Don’t worry about it, I can’t imagine having to go to work right now lmao

I had a great time though!! I really liked your friends and I’m glad I got to meet them

I’ll be sure to tell them, hopefully their ego doesn’t get to big 

Fingers crossed lmao

Would you maybe want to hang out again sometime? Or I can invite you to a game or something

…is now the time to be honest that I don’t know that much about hockey

Is that why you didn’t know who I was that first night?

Yeah it would be 😅

Rip looks like I lost that bet. But it wouldn’t be a deal breaker! Just have to have you come to a game so you can learn :)

I’m sold then 👀 Can’t wait to be confused the whole time skfjsdf

Would any of your coworkers want to come? We actually have a game Friday night, and I’m guessing that you’re all usually free then

I’ll have to check to see if they won’t be too mad at messing up our bar ritual. I’m sure they’ll agree though!

Let me know asap so I can get you tickets

omg no don’t worry about that, we can get our own tickets

I can get you all good tickets though :) 

…fine

:)

Rory rolls her eyes, but she smiles a little bit. She’s excited that Nate is including her friends in plans like this because they’re important to her. And she also wants to make sure that they like anyone she’s interested in as well. Before she forgets, Rory sends a text to the group chat asking if they’d be up for the game the following week.

By the end of the day, they all agreed, and she lets Nate know immediately. He sends a smiley face back, and says that their tickets will be at the front office. Despite knowing that she won’t see him at all that day, she still feels nervous. There’s something about it that feels like he’s letting her into a part of his life, even though it’s such a public position of his.

Before she forgets, she lets Piper know, who promptly screams about how excited she is. Knowing that one of her best friends seems to approve of him - even in a vague way - helps reassure Rory just a little bit more. 

Despite the large workload, the week passes by quickly, and before Rory knows it, it’s Friday night, and she’s headed to Pepsi Center. She feels nervous, and it doesn’t help that her friends have been teasing her all week. Even though she knows she won’t be seeing Nate after the game, she still feels the need to impress him somehow.

“Come on, the dude gave you fucking tickets to watch him play. I think he wants to impress you,” Shea points out as they grab their seats.

“I’m not so sure about that,” Rory mumbles. “I feel like he doesn’t need to do much.”

“I mean, you were the one who turned him down the first time,” Blair replies, smirking.

“Yeah, I’m sure he doesn’t get that often,” Ashton says. “Like, the dude probably hasn’t heard ‘no’ for a while.”

“Have I told you that you’re all the worst?” Rory jokes. “But seriously, this feels like a lot when we still barely know each other.”

“Okay, but also consider that he has money. Like this was probably nothing for him,” Ashton says. 

“You know, this really isn’t making anything better,” Rory groans. “It’s just making me even more anxious.”

Blair tugs her into a side hug. “Look, I’m sure he just wants to show off a little bit. And he also probably gets some allotted tickets or something. Just don’t sweat it too much.”

“But if he’s willing to give us more tickets…” Shea jokes.

“We’ve officially hung out once, you guys,” Rory groans. “I don’t even know if I can consider him a friend.”

“Whatever you say,” Shea replies, trying to not smile. 

Thankfully, they all move onto lighter subjects after, and get lost in conversation until the game starts. Rory had asked Nate some questions about the game throughout the week, but she’s still lost as she gets lost in the action. Sure, she understands the basics of it, but there’s moments where she’s not quite sure what just happened.

Towards the end of the second period, Nate scores a goal and Rory cheers loudly. It’s almost over as quick as it started, but he points over to where she’s sitting, making her blush and sink down into her seat. Her friends don’t even try to hide their laughter at the whole situation.

“Maybe he just always points over here,” Rory mumbles.

“Something tells me that he doesn’t,” Blair replies, still laughing. 

Rory rolls her eyes before turning her focus back onto the game. Thankfully, the rest of the game passes without incident, and the Avs end up winning. She sends Nate a quick congratulatory text, as well as saying that she really enjoyed the game. He doesn’t respond, which she figured would be the case, so she tucks her phone back into her pocket.

“Are you sure you’re not meeting up with him after?” Ashton inquires. “We won’t tease you too much about ditching us for him.”

“Yeah, he said he’s usually pretty tired after evening games and isn’t much for conversation,” Rory replies. “Not that I can really blame him.”

“That’s a shame,” Shea sighs. “I was really hoping we’d have something fun to bet on.”

“You wouldn’t dare bet on that,” Rory accuses, squinting a little. 

“Oh, he most definitely would. It’s a normal thing, unfortunately,” Blair replies. “But that’s understandable. Hopefully you can catch him some other time.”

Rory shrugs. “I’m sure we will.”

When Rory gets home, she checks her phone and sees that Nate sent a smiley face and a simple call me? She hesitates for a moment, before deciding to hit the call button.

“Hey,” Nate greets after a few moments. “I’m really glad you came tonight.”

“Yeah, I had an amazing time. It was a lot more fun than I was expecting,” Rory replies.

“I’m really sorry that we couldn’t hang out for longer, but I wouldn’t want to fall asleep on you,” Nate explains. “But if you’re free this weekend, maybe we can get lunch or something.”

“I - yeah, that would be really nice, actually. Do you have a preference for which day?”

“Uh, I guess Sunday would work. I can text you a time and place.”

“That would be really nice,” Rory says softly. “I’ll see you then.”

They sit on the phone for a couple seconds in silence, neither quite sure what to say. Rory doesn’t want the call to end, but she doesn’t want to keep Nate up too long.

“Can I ask why you didn’t give me your number that first night? I know you said you wanted me to pass the friend check but…” Nate inquires, hesitant.

“I mean, I didn’t really know who you were. I just felt kind of weird giving my number to some strange guy I briefly talked to at the bar,” Rory answers.

“Oh, I… yeah, that makes sense,” Nate says. “And Sunday, would it be a date? Or just friends?”

Rory pauses for a moment to think. She wants it to be a date, but she also knows that it would give Nate the wrong idea. As much as she wants to have a partner, she also knows that she just needs a little more time to be sure of herself and her emotions.

“Just friends, if that’s okay,” Rory whispers. “If that’s not what you were hoping for, I’m sorry. It’s just… I want to be friends first before anything else.”

“Of course that’s okay,” Nate replies. “Doesn’t change a thing.”

Rory frowns a little. “If you’re sure.”

“I’m very sure. I wouldn’t say it otherwise.”

“I - okay then,” Rory replies. “I should let you go to bed.”

“See you Sunday then,” Nate says, smiling, before hanging up.

Much to Rory’s surprise, Sunday went well. Things weren’t weird, something she was fully expecting to happen, but lunch passed by quickly. They ended up making tentative plans to hang out again soon, with Nate making it very clear there were no expectations attached. Knowing that, Rory started to feel more and more comfortable around him.

“I don’t know what to say to you except that it tore the heart out of my body saying goodbye to you.” — Vita Sackville-West

To be honest, Rory never really expected to become such good friends with Nate, as well as some of his friends by extension. Over the last several months, they’ve gotten close, but never spoke of a possibility of furthering their relationship. As much as she wants to bring it up, Rory also is perfectly content with keeping things the way they are.

However, there’s moments when she wonders if she should say something. Sometimes, she’ll see Nate giving her a look or a certain smile that just makes her think. And he was very adamant in the beginning that if they were to ever date, it would be at her pace. So maybe he’s waiting for her to say something, but Rory doesn’t have the heart to ruin a perfectly good friendship.

“You know, I really feel like he feels the same way. I don’t see the harm in doing something about it,” Blair says one Friday night. “I mean, you have the dude wrapped around your finger.”

“I just want to be sure,” Rory says firmly.

“You know what would make you completely sure? Asking him out,” Ashton replies. “Like, you’re in a perfect spot right now.”

“And I really doubt he would be mean about it either,” Shea points out. “Plus, you’ve been saying how you wanted to be friends first before doing anything. And now what are you?”

“Ugh,” Rory groans. “Just give me some time, okay? I’ll do it when I’m ready.”

Blair frowns. “If you say so.”

“I do say so,” Rory replies. “Besides, if I fuck this up, we won’t get anymore free hockey tickets. Then what?”

“Then we don’t go to hockey games. Like, we’re going because they’re fun, but most importantly because Nate has become someone important to you,” Ashton answers. 

“I promise I’ll say something when I’m ready,” Rory whispers. “Just drop it, please.”

“Okay,” Shea says, obviously unsure. “We’ll have your back no matter what you decide.”

“Thank you,” Rory replies. “Now, what’s everyone’s plans for Valentine’s day this year? Because Nate invited us to a game if nobody has anything going on.”

“You want us to drop the subject but then you immediately tell us that Nate invited us to a Valentine’s day game?” Ashton exclaims.

“I - you know what, shut up,” Rory groans. “He’s friends with all of us, okay?”

“Mhm, I’m sure of that,” Shea mutters. 

“Maybe I’ll just take the tickets then,” Rory retorts. 

“I’m sure he would appreciate that,” Blair whispers, smirking.

“Good lord, do you want the tickets or not?” Rory asks, exasperated.

“I guess we can go,” Shea answers, acting put out.

“Oh, I guess we can go,” Rory mocks. “Jesus, you can just say yes.”

Ashton smiles widely. “But that’s not as fun.”

“Whatever you say,” Rory says, rolling her eyes.

Later that night, Rory texts Nate, saying that everyone is in for the game the following week. He sends back a smiley face and a thumbs up in return. She sighs as she gets ready for bed, thinking over what her friends had told her earlier that night.

She knows that she doesn’t have much to lose in confessing her feelings, but she also knows how busy Nate is. He’s especially focused now with playoffs coming up in a couple of months, and she knows that most of his time is spent at practice or doing something hockey related. Not that she can really blame him, she knows how hard he works, especially being a face of the franchise.

Even Piper has told her that he makes time for her now as a friend, and if he seems to feel the same way, he would definitely make time for her as a girlfriend. But something about it feels selfish to Rory in a way that she can’t explain. So, she decides to wait until the playoffs are over to say anything, and at the very least, it’ll give her more time to feel confident in her confession.

Before she knows it, she and her friends are off to Pepsi Center for the Valentine’s day game. Since this is an afternoon game, Nate agreed to meet up with them after at their usual bar with a couple of his friends. With none of them having plans, they all agreed they could all commiserate together. At the very least, it would feel less lonely than normal.

Something Rory didn’t tell the group is that they got seats right behind the Avs for today's game. She hesitated saying anything, knowing that her friends wouldn’t shut up about it. But maybe that was a bad decision because once they got to their seats and made themselves comfortable, everyone turned towards Rory. She groans, knowing exactly where the conversation has headed. As much as they laid off the teasing about Nate, she also knew they wanted the best for her.

“So, like, nothing has changed in the last week, right?” Blair inquires. “Nothing we should know about?”

“No, Nate just wanted to get us good seats for today,” Rory grumbles. “This is why I didn’t say anything.”

“Oh so you knew that we would be getting good seats today,” Ashton replies, inquisitive. “I’m starting to  think that you’re lying to us.”

“I swear I’m not lying!” Rory exclaims. “He just wanted to do something nice for all of us. Because we’re all his friends.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” Shea replies, smiling. 

The game goes by in a blur, and before Rory knows it, they're off to the bar. Thankfully, her friends only tease her a couple more times before laying off. As much as she knows they mean well, it still gets a little tiring not hearing the end of it. When they get to the bar, things are fairly slow, especially considering what day it is.

“So, did you have fun?” Nate inquires as he comes to sit with them at their usual table. 

“It was fun, but it would have been even better if Rory told us we got better seats today,” Shea answers, giving Rory a look.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Rory groans. “How many times will I have to tell you this?”

Shea snorts. “You know we’ll never let you live it down. But it was seriously a good game.”

“Good, I’m glad you guys had fun,” Nate replies, smiling softly.

As the night starts to pass, Rory feels herself look at Nate more than she wants to admit. But it’s hard not to - he just naturally demands attention. Whenever she catches herself looking too long, she does her best to look away and not think about all of her feelings. As much as it pains her, she’s going to keep true to her promise of not saying anything about them quite yet.

By the time everyone is heading out of the bar, Blair holds onto Rory’s arm, holding her back. Rory gives her a questioning look, but quickly picks up that Blair wants to say something. They wave off the rest of the group, and finally get a moment alone.

“Are you really not going to say how you feel, Rory? You can’t keep quiet forever,” Blair says. 

“I - yeah, I’m not going to say anything. It’s just… things are hard for him right now with the playoffs coming up and I don’t want to get in the way of that,” Rory replies.

Blair frowns a little bit. “I have a feeling it wouldn’t be as bad as you’re making it out to be.”

“I’m sure you’re right, but I feel too guilty doing anything,” Rory sighs. “Just let me say something in my own time, okay?”

“Okay,” Blair says hesitantly. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is what I want,” Rory says, much more firmly than she feels.

~ ~ ~

And as much as it pains Rory to do so, she doesn’t say anything all through the lead up to playoffs. Blair keeps giving her looks, but never says anything, knowing that there’s no changing Rory’s mind now. Besides, if Nate turns her down, she has a whole summer away from him to recover from the rejection. She’s just doing her best to keep herself safe at this point.

It’s mid-April now and the playoffs are starting to ramp up, and Rory is hanging out with Nate on a rare afternoon where they’re both free. She’s savoring it as much as she can, knowing that his free time is especially thin now. Nate hasn’t made it to a Friday night bar trip in weeks, and Rory has mostly watched him from afar at games.

“I feel bad that we’ve hardly seen each other lately,” Nate says as he pulls up some random nature documentary.

“You’re busy, Nate,” Rory replies. “I’m not exactly expecting to be a priority right now.”

Nate frowns. “I… that sounds so bad when you put it that way.”

“It’s true, though,” Rory says, shrugging. “And I’m not really hurt by it. I know you and the other guys have a lot to prove this year.”

“I just feel bad about it,” Nate whispers.

“You warned me that this would happen. I can’t exactly be mad that what you said would happen is happening.”

“You’re right, but it doesn’t make me happy.”

“But we’re here now. And I really don’t mind that you forget to text back sometimes,” Rory laughs. “As long as you don’t completely forget about me.”

“I would never,” Nate snorts. “Besides, your friends make it hard to forget anything.”

“And that’s what makes them loveable.”

“Unfortunately,” Nate replies, smiling softly. “Ugh, as much as I love being in the playoffs, it sucks that I don’t get more days like this.”

Rory gives him a curious look. “What, watching random nature documentaries?”

“No, just hanging out with my friends,” Nate says, laughing. 

“Huh, didn’t know you had a chill bone in you during the playoffs,” Rory teases. 

“Oh my god, I hate you,” Nate groans.

“I’m sure you do,” Rory replies, smiling.

They pass the rest of the afternoon teasing each other, hardly paying attention to anything that plays on the TV. There’s a moment where she wants to say something, put everything out in the open, but it would be the end of everything if she was being honest. So, she keeps quiet, and tries to squash down her feelings.

“Well, I’ll see you soon, I hope,” Rory says as she gets ready to head out. “And don’t forget to text me back.”

Nate smiles softly. “I’ll do my best.”

“I suppose that’s the best I can ask for,” Rory sighs, smiling back. “And good luck on your game on Monday. You’ve been working hard for it.”

“I’ll win it for you,” Nate says softly.

There’s a brief moment where their eyes connect, and Rory thinks about leaning in and kissing him, but she looks away before she makes a mistake. By the time she glances back over, the moment is broken, lost to the short moment of hesitation. She wonders what would have happened if she kissed him, but tries to not think about the what-ifs.

“Alright, I’ll catch you around,” Rory says softly as she heads out.

“Uh, yeah, see you around,” Nate replies awkwardly.

As Rory drives home, she sighs deeply. She feels a twinge of regret at not doing anything, especially with an opportunity like what she had. But rushing it and saying something when she wasn’t ready feels even worse, even though she’s been ready for longer than she wants to admit. As much as she wants to talk to Piper or Blair about what happened, she knows that they would just be confused.

The one thing that keeps her calm is just waiting for the end of the playoffs to happen. And with how well the Avs are doing right now, it might be through the Stanley Cup finals. Rory does her best to make peace with it, knowing that she inflicted it upon herself. Besides, she’s been waiting this long to say something, a couple more months wouldn’t seem like much.

Except the following months seem to pass by like dripping honey. Even with all the things that are piling up at work, Rory finds herself having a hard time focusing. Nate barely replies to her texts anymore, and the responses are usually just smiley faces. It hurts more than she wants to admit to anyone, but her friends pick up on it right away.

“What’s going on with you?” Ashton inquires one Friday night. “You’ve been like… super out of it lately.”

“I - this is going to sound so dumb,” Rory mumbles. “It’s just Nate hasn’t been replying a lot lately, but he’s busy with the Avs right now.”

“Like… he’s just ignoring you?” Blair asks. 

“I mean, I guess? But he replies to things eventually, even if it takes a little while,” Rory explains. 

“There’s more to it than that, isn’t there?” Shea says. “Don’t forget we can read you like a book, Rory.”

Rory sighs deeply. “I mean, it’s just his replies have been super short, like just emoji responses. I don’t think I’ve gotten an actual word from him since the end of April.”

“That’s actually kind of shitty,” Ashton replies, frowning. “Like, you guys are friends, you think he could respond with something.”

“He’s busy though,” Rory whispers. 

“Too busy to send a short text with words to one of his friends?” Blair asks, raising an eyebrow. “I really fucking doubt it, babe.”

“Shit, you’re probably right, but he told me this would happen,” Rory groans.

Blair gives her a look. “That doesn’t make it any better, you know.”

“Yeah, I feel like that makes it even worse,” Shea replies, frowning deeply. “Who the fuck doesn’t reply to their friends?”

“He’s just got a lot going on! I’m sure things will be better soon,” Rory says weakly. “Right?”

“I don’t know, Rory,” Ashton answers weakly. “Maybe just be a bit more firm with him next time. Like he has to reply with words at some point.”

“I guess so,” Rory mumbles.

“If he doesn’t, I’ll personally kick his ass,” Shea replies brightly.

“There’s no way you could take him on,” Rory says, squinting. “I love you, but there’s no way you would beat him in a fight.”

“That’s what you all think, and it’s why I would win,” Shea jokes.

Rory rolls her eyes, snorting. “If that’s what you want to believe.”

“Of course,” Shea replies, smiling brightly. 

Things get a little bit easier after that, but there’s still a distinct silence from Nate. As much as Rory wants to wave it off and not be hurt by it, she is. She’s starting to miss the smiley faces at this point because at least then, she knew that he was seeing her messages. But now… now she’s not really sure what to think.

She ends up calling Piper, knowing that her friend will get what she’s going through. And she also doesn’t want her friends in Denver to worry more than they already are about the whole situation.

“Honestly, I don’t think there’s much else you can do unless you want to barge into his apartment,” Piper says after Rory explains everything.

“I can’t do that,” Rory replies, frowning. “I don’t want to force him to hang out when he doesn’t want to.”

“Well, he’s not responding to anything, stopping by won’t hurt anyone,” Piper suggests. “I mean, you’ve been there before.”

“That’s just different,” Rory sighs. “Maybe this is his way of saying he doesn’t want to be friends anymore.”

“Something tells me that you’re wrong about that,” Piper says. “I mean, you said everything was fine the last time you hung out together, right?”

“Yeah,” Rory answers. “Like, I knew he was busy and he said he would try to not drop off the map, but…”

Piper snorts. “That obviously didn’t work out. But are you sure you can’t just stop by or something?”

“It feels like a step too far,” Rory whispers. “Like, I don’t want to seem desperate for attention or anything. I knew he was going to be busy and that I wouldn’t be a top priority, you know?”

“I - shit, that doesn’t sound great,” Piper says. “Maybe just give it until after the playoffs. If he doesn’t say anything afterwards, it’s definitely time to move on.”

Rory sighs. “You’re right. I just feel like I fucked up somewhere and I don’t know how.”

“To be honest, I don’t think there’s anything you could have done differently.”

“I suppose so.”

“Look, I’ll be here anytime you need something, no matter how stupid it sounds. Take care of yourself, babe,” Piper says. “Now, tell me about work? What’s the new hot gossip?”

The conversation moves on to lighter topics and Rory feels lighter after hanging up. She’s still worried about Nate, but there’s nothing she can do about it all now. Whatever happens next, Rory still has her friends and that’s what matters the most, even if she wishes it could turn out a bit differently.

As the weeks drag on, Rory still hears nothing from Nate. It starts to hurt less the more she accepts that he’s never going to respond. Piper suggests going to his place again, but it feels wrong intruding on Nate when they haven’t spoken in months. He’s giving clear enough signs at this point that he wants to be left alone.

It’s early June when Rory hears about the Avs winning the Stanley Cup. She’s happy for them, for Nate, even if they haven’t had a single conversation in ages. They worked hard for this and deserve the numerous celebrations that’ll be coming in the following days. 

There’s a moment of hesitation Rory has about sending a congratulatory text to Nate. She’s not sure if it would come off as weird or anything, but she decides to send something anyways. Despite everything, Rory wants Nate to know that she’s proud of him and how hard he’s worked to get this. The silence in the following days isn’t surprising, but something about it still hurts Rory.

“It’s because you care too much,” Blair says at their usual Friday night ritual, smiling sadly. “And he had a chance to say anything, but he didn’t.”

“I don’t know what I was hoping for,” Rory whispers.

“Maybe you were hoping for him to be a decent person,” Ashton snorts. “You’ve given him more chances than he deserves.”

“Like I’ve said before, I’ll kick his ass,” Shea offers. “Dude probably deserves to be knocked down a peg or two.”

“I appreciate it, but he deserves this,” Rory says. “He’s worked hard.”

“Worked harder at breaking your heart though,” Ashton mutters.

Rory rolls her eyes. “It’s fine, I really should have expected this from the start, if I’m being honest. I was pushing my luck even being his friend.”

“No, I don’t think you were,” Blair says firmly. “He was lucky to have you in his life at all.”

“Yeah, he’s the one losing out,” Shea says, smiling. 

“You guys are the best,” Rory whispers. “I’m sure I’ll forget about him after the summer is over. Lord knows we have our work cut out for us with all these new jobs.”

“I don’t even want to think about it,” Shea groans.

“Aren’t you the one handing out all the work?” Ashton teases. “I don’t think you have the right to complain about this.”

“Please don’t remind me,” Shea sighs.

Thankfully, the conversation moves past Nate, something Rory is incredibly grateful for. Whatever this summer holds, hopefully getting over him is in the cards for her, even if it pains Rory to think that. There’s no point left in worrying about someone who doesn’t care to respond to her texts as much as she wants to.

Rory’s workload over the summer piles up, which is to be expected for this time of year. Summer is always busy, especially with all of the interns coming through the office. She tries to help them as much as she can, but it makes for some long days. Even though it leaves her exhausted, it also lets her slowly get over the initial hurt of Nate. Besides, she remembers being in their shoes and it’s the least she can do to be nice to them.

By the time October and the start of a new NHL season roll around, Rory feels less bitter and far removed from the whole thing with Nate. But there’s still a small part of her that’s filled with regret and longing for what could have been. She would be lying if she didn’t think about all the things she could have done differently, but didn’t out of fear. It’s too late to change things now, though, and she does her best to not think about it in her weakest moments.

“You know, I never realized how much they plaster Nate’s face all over the city until this year,” Shea comments one Friday night. “Like… do we really need to be seeing his face that much.”

Rory snorts. “You sound more mad about it than I do.”

“Yeah, because you won’t let yourself be upset,” Ashton points out.

“Because I’m not upset,” Rory replies, rolling her eyes. “I promise I’m over him, okay? Like, it wasn’t going to go anywhere.”

“Uh huh, sure it wasn’t,” Blair says, giving Rory a pointed look. 

“Look, it’s been months at this point, I don’t have anything to be hung up on,” Rory groans. “Do you want me to prove it or something?”

“Yeah, actually,” Shea says. “Like… are you over him enough to go to a hockey game?”

Rory squints a bit at him. “Are you challenging me?”

“Maybe so,” Shea replies, smiling. “So… how does next week sound?”

“Let me guess, you already got tickets?” Rory inquires.

“You would be right,” Shea answers, smirking. “If any of us catch you longingly staring at him, it’s game over and we’ll have a proper night to drown out our sorrows.”

Rory sighs. “Fine, I guess.”

As the game day approaches, Rory can feel herself growing more and more nervous. While she feels confident about the fact that she’s gotten over the worst of it, she’s not sure how she feels about seeing Nate. Seeing him in person feels odd - especially at a game, where she only ever went to specifically see Nate. But she does her best to assure herself that she’s strong enough to get through one game.

When they grab their seats the following week, Rory doesn’t feel much better. She knows her friends can tell, but they’re being kind enough to not say anything. If anything, Rory wants to prove to herself that she can get through this without being weird about the whole situation. Besides, their seats are rather far back and she tries to reason that it’ll make things easier.

However, she turns out to be very, very wrong when Rory sees the players skate to their bench before the game starts. Her heart drops and feels a twinge of panic seep through her bones. Even though she knows that there’s no way Nate will know they’re here at a game, she fears that he’ll just know and get angry for intruding.

“Are you going to be okay?” Blair whispers.

“I - I think so,” Rory answers softly. “I need to get through this for myself.”

“It’s not too late to leave, it’s really not that big of a deal,” Blair reasons. “I promise none of us will be mad if this is too much.”

“I just - I want to show myself that what happened isn’t that big of a deal, okay?” Rory replies firmly.

Blair frowns. “Okay, but if it gets too much…”

“I’ll let you know,” Rory says, smiling softly.

As the game goes on, Rory can feel herself feeling more comfortable with seeing Nate. Something about seeing him just helps seal the deal, and Rory decides that he’s not worth being sad over as much as her heart says otherwise. By the time it’s over and everyone is leaving the game, she feels a bit lighter.

“So… how are we feeling?” Ashton inquires innocently.

Rory smiles. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“I mean, I hope you’re happy, But the sky is still the sky without you, And I’m not surprised by that anymore.” — Caitlyn Siehl

As the months pass and as Rory makes it through another Denver winter, she starts to forget about Nate. There’s still times where she thinks about the possibilities, but she’s moved on and passed the worst of it. She has other things to worry about, like a new promotion at work and trying to catch up with all of the new responsibilities that come with it.

“Who the hell decided that I was the best person to be put in charge of the interns?” Rory groans one early spring morning. 

“You helped them anyways, we just decided to make it official,” Shea snorts. “Now you officially get to be the mother hen.”

“Have I told you that I hate you?” Rory teases.

Shea lets out a loud laugh. “It’s been a whole week, I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks,” Rory says sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “God, I never realized how many fucking applications we got. How the hell am I supposed to choose?”

“Drunk darts?” Ashton suggests as they pass by Rory’s desk. 

“The fact that I briefly considered that…” Rory says, sighing. “I might take a look at them on Monday because I feel like my brain is melting.”

“Welcome to the club!” Ashton replies cheerily. “At least today is Friday and we can all drown our sorrows together.”

“Cheers to that,” Rory sighs. 

By the time they get to the bar that night, Rory feels completely exhausted. She loves her work, but her newfound responsibilities have been a lot to try and handle. It only made the Friday night ritual all the more welcome and she had an even better understanding why her friends started it in the first place.

“You know, I never expected to be in this position when I graduated,” Rory remarks.

“What, working in the field you specialized in?” Blair inquires, confused.

“No, like...being in a place I genuinely enjoyed working at. I feel like it’s such a long shot and I never expected to stay here this long,” Rory explains.

“Well, it just means you were meant to end up here,” Ashton says smiling.

“I suppose so,” Rory replies, smiling softly. 

None of them process the door opening until Shea starts frowning a little bit. Rory turns a little to look, and feels herself freeze a little when she spots Nate. She spins back and tries to not think about how they're in the same space again for the first time in months.

“Fancy seeing him again,” Shea remarks bitterly. “Can I punch him if he comes over here?”

“We’re not getting kicked out of our favorite bar,” Rory groans.

“Fine, I guess,” Shea sighs. “Only for you, though.”

“Only because I’m here, right?” Rory asks, giving him a stern look.

“No, most definitely not,” Shea answers, trying to not smile.

“Whatever, we’re ignoring them,” Rory says. “I want to have a good time and it doesn’t involve him.”

“Even if he’s staring us down?” Ashton inquires, trying to be quiet.

“Please tell me he’s not,” Rory groans.

“Unfortunately he is,” Blair responds, with a hint of bitterness. “You know what, maybe it’s time we change up bars, try something new.”

“But we’ve been coming here for years, I don’t want to leave just because that asshole is here,” Shea complains. “I don’t want to hunt for another one!”

“Maybe it’s just for one night,” Rory says weakly. 

“Do you think the bartenders like us enough to kick out several NHL players?” Ashton inquires innocently. “I mean… I know they have money, but we’re also like… regulars.”

“Might be a long shot,” Blair answers, sighing a little bit.

“He’s still staring at us,” Ashton mumbles. “I kind of just want to leave. Maybe we can stop by the diner right down the road instead.”

“Maybe that can be our thing for a couple weeks to throw him off our trail for a bit,” Shea replies. “And also so I don’t punch him.”

Blair snickers. “That sounds like a solid plan. Let’s go.”

As they head out, Rory chances a glance over at Nate. He’s watching them leave with a frown on his face. Before he gets any ideas on coming over, she looks away, trying her best to seem closed off. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem as if he follows them, so she relaxes as they walk over to the diner.

“This feels weird,” Rory comments as they grab a booth in the back corner. “But I’m glad to be away from him.”

“Do you think he would have tried to talk to you?” Blair asks, concerned.

Rory shrugs. “I mean, maybe, but I don’t see why he would bother at this point. I haven’t seen him in almost a year now.”

“Maybe he’s just now realizing what he lost,” Ashton suggests hopefully.

“Well, it’s staying lost,” Rory snorts. “I really can’t be bothered to fix things with him. He’s had time to say something, but he hasn’t.”

“You really wouldn’t give him a second chance?” Shea asks, raising an eyebrow.

Rory pauses for a moment. “I want to say no, and I think I would in terms of a romantic relationship. But… he was a good friend and it was sad losing him in that sense, you know? And I would want him to work on himself too. Like, I can’t have him dropping off the face of the planet again.”

“I get that,” Blair says softly, smiling sadly. “Maybe one day.”

“Maybe,” Rory sighs. “But also, I think we were headed for heartbreak, there was no other option. I mean… we’re two very different people.”

“But you worked well together,” Shea said. “And that’s the saddest part about all of this.”

Rory shrugs. “It’s over now. There’s no point in caring anymore.”

They end up changing subjects, sensing that Rory is truly done thinking about Nate. Seeing him outside of a hockey game was a weird experience and everyone felt a little bit off balance from it. By the end of the night, Rory feels better, and tries to push any thought of him aside. Whatever reason he came to the bar tonight, she hoped he got the message - that Rory no longer needed him in her life.

The following morning when Rory checks her phone, she feels herself freeze. Looking right back at her is a text from Nate. She hesitates before opening, knowing that whatever it says can’t be good. There’s a moment where she thinks about deleting the message and blocking him, but her curiosity gets the best of her.

I was hoping to talk to you last night, but it looks like you were busy. Maybe we could meet up some other time to clear things up?

Rory can’t help but to laugh. After a year, Nate finally wants to talk? The audacity he has thinking that Rory will just talk to him willingly after everything is too much for her to handle. He’s had plenty of opportunities to fix things, but going about it this way just makes everything even worse.

No, I think I’m good. You made it very clear where I stand in your life.

Rory tosses her phone to the side before seeing if Nate replies at all. Whatever he has to say to her won’t change her mind, not now. Before she can think anymore, she grabs her phone again to call Piper. It’s been a long time since they’ve talked, but Rory trusts her the most right now, knowing that her friend will be the solid voice of reason right now.

“Something tells me something is up if you’re calling me this early on a Saturday,” Piper jokes. “Normally you’re hungover at this point.”

“You’re the worst,” Rory groans. “But you’re right.”

“I’m always here for you. Now, tell me all about it,” Piper replies. 

“Well, uh, Nate finally texted me after a whole fucking year asking if we could talk,” Rory says bitterly. “And this dude had the audacity to stop by the bar last night. We ended up leaving because of him.”

“I can fly down and punch him if you want me to,” Piper suggests.

Rory snorts. “I think that Shea is first in line for that.”

“We can take turns then,” Piper says, smirking. “But seriously, how are you dealing with that? Have you blocked him?”

“I - no, not yet,” Rory answers. “I told him it was too late to fix anything.”

“So… just ignore him after this. Unless you want to talk to him.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that. There’s so much I want to say to him, but I never thought that it would be like… an actual option.”

“Then just think about it. And he can wait for as long as you need him to. It’s what he deserves after dropping you like he did.”

“I feel like that’s letting him win, though,” Rory whispers.

“There’s no winning in situations like this, especially if you let him feel all of your anger and frustrations. What he did was shitty and wrong, and he deserves to know all of that before he does it to someone else,” Piper explains. “And I know how worthless it made you feel.”

“I didn’t -” Rory tries to say.

“Don’t you dare say that you didn’t feel that way. You called me crying multiple times that summer. He hurt you and he deserves to know that,” Piper says firmly. “That is, if you even want to talk to him.”

“I don’t know,” Rory says softly. “I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of talking again, but I also want to let him know how shitty he made me feel.”

“Maybe that’s all that needs to happen. One conversation doesn’t mean you’re letting him back into your life. It can maybe help put an end to this part of your life.”

“You’re right, you’re right.”

Piper sighs. “I’m sorry you had to see him again, though. I can’t imagine what that all felt like.”

“I’m just lucky I was with friends,” Rory replies. “But thank you, Piper, this helped a lot.”

“Keep me updated, okay? I want to know if I need to knock some teeth out,” Piper jokes.

Rory snorts. “Of course.”

Once they’ve hung up, Rory quickly checks her phone to see if Nate has replied. He still hasn’t, so she decides to continue on with her morning, trying to not think of him. As right as Piper is about having a conversation to try and put an end to anything having to do with Nate, the thought scares her. She knows that there’s a very real possibility that she lets him into her life again, knowing that she misses his friendship.

But she doesn’t want to let herself give in so easily. Nate hurt Rory in ways that she feels like she’s still recovering from. It’s terrifying that he was able to hurt her like this, and the more she thinks about it over breakfast, the more comfortable she gets with telling him all of this, as long as it’s on her terms.

She ignores her phone for the rest of the day and decides to focus on cleaning her apartment instead. It’s been a while since it’s been properly cleaned and she knows it’ll help keep her mind off of Nate. So, she puts on some of her favorite music and proceeds to get lost in her chores. Before she knows it, her stomach is loudly grumbling, and Rory notices that it’s now mid-afternoon.

As she grabs some stuff for a late lunch, she decides to chance looking at her phone. Her heart drops a little seeing several texts from Nate, but Rory opens it before she can think twice about it. She has to read it a couple times before it fully processes what he said.

I’m sorry I broke what trust you had in me as a friend and I want to fix that

In whatever way you see fit

I guess even if it means you never talk to me again. I just...I want to make everything better

Please

Rory pauses for a moment, and tries to think of a response. She wants to talk to him, to let him feel the full impact of how much he ruined her - but she doesn’t want to give him hope. No matter how apologetic he is, Rory doesn’t want to give him too much hope.

I want to talk, but on my terms. You deserve to know what you did to me

I hated you for a long time, Nate

Still kind of do, if I’m being honest

Just… give me some time, okay? I gave up on the idea of you a long time ago

Sighing, Rory puts her phone off to the side, and decides to try and eat her lunch in peace, but she keeps thinking about Nate. Whatever happens next, Rory wants to be ready and confident in what she wants to happen next. At the very core of it all, she’s scared of letting Nate back in and history repeating itself.

If Nate wants to be in her life, she’s going to need to see that she matters to him. But as much as she wants that, Rory knows that it’s really asking for too much. It terrifies her that the thought keeps managing to weasel it’s way into her head, no matter how much she tries to ignore it. Blair might say that it’s a sign, but Rory really hopes that it isn’t.

Her phone buzzes, and she takes a deep breath before opening her phone. So far, Nate has been understanding, but that hardly means anything at the moment.

I understand completely

And I’m truly sorry I ever did that to you

Whatever it takes for me to show you that, I’ll do

You deserve that at the very least, Rory

Thank you, Nate. I’m sorry to make you wait a little longer

I’ll try to not take too long, but this is a lot

I would wait for you forever

Ah, getting poetic now

Maybe you have changed

I’ll take a while, but maybe not that long :)

:)

Rory sighs, but she feels good about not caving to what he wants. As much as she wants to fix everything, she also knows that she’ll regret it. Before she forgets, Rory also sends a text to Piper telling her what happened, knowing that her friend will want to keep tabs on the situation. 

Groaning, Rory also remembers that she’s going to have to tell her coworkers what happened as well. Even though they’ve talked plenty of shit, she knows that they’ll be supportive of her reconciling with Nate as long as it’s on her terms. However, she also knows that they’ll gladly make sure to keep him in his place.

When Monday rolls around, Rory can immediately tell that her friends know something is up. Thankfully, they don’t say anything, knowing that she won’t be comfortable talking about it at work. But they keep a close eye on her, like she’ll fall apart at a moment's notice. And maybe they’re right, she’s not really sure what’s held her together this whole weekend.

“So, care to spill whatever’s going on with you?” Ashton inquires, walking with Rory to her car.

Rory notes that Blair and Shea aren’t too far behind, and she sighs, accepting her fate of being cornered by all of them. They all eye her as she leans up against her car and lets out a huge sigh.

“Nate reached out to me to apologize for last year. He wanted to talk in person to let everything out, but I told him no for now,” Rory explains. “I want to talk to him, but on my terms.”

Blair frowns. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“I’m not really sure, but I think I want to let everything out in the open, you know? Like, I want him to know how much it hurt,” Rory answers, shrugging. 

“Would you be meeting at his place?” Shea inquires, looking concerned. “Not that I think he would do anything, but like… that’s a lot of pressure.”

Rory pauses for a moment. “I think if we were to meet up, I’d want to do it at my place. I wouldn’t feel comfortable in his apartment. He can come to me.”

“Sounds like you already have a plan,” Ashton remarks, smirking a little. 

“It’s going to happen eventually, I think. I just want to be ready,” Rory says. “It feels weird hearing from him again, though. I was ready to let go, but seeing him last Friday was harder than I expected.”

“If this is what you want, we’ll support you in it, okay? I know we shit talk him a lot, but...he was a good guy while he was around,” Shea says seriously. 

“Thank you,” Rory says softly. “Now, enough digging around in my personal life, okay?”

“But what else is supposed to keep us entertained?” Ashton snorts. “You’re the one who was besties with an NHL superstar.”

Rory rolls her eyes. “You guys are the worst.”

“But that’s why you love us,” Blair replies, smiling widely. 

A couple more weeks go by before Rory thinks about messaging Nate back. There’s a couple nights where she almost caves and sends something to him - but she knows she’s not fully ready yet. It’s a late Friday night after a diner run with her friends that Rory feels like she’s ready to speak to Nate again.

There wasn’t a monumental shift that made Rory change her mind, but rather the fact that her heart stopped falling apart any time she thought of Nate. She thinks she’s ready to have a conversation with him because in the end, she’s not sure if she wants it to be anything more than that. 

Against Rory’s better judgement, she sends a text to Nate, fully knowing that he won’t reply until the morning. And that feels safer in a way. He won’t be able to ask questions that she isn’t ready to answer quite yet, at least not over the phone.

I want to talk soon

At my apartment, though

I’d feel better being in a space I feel comfortable if we’re going to be talking

And honestly the sooner the better, if you don’t mind

I want to get this over with

With that, Rory plugs in her phone and tries to fall asleep. Instead, she keeps herself up, thinking of all the things she wants to tell Nate. She wants to let him know how much he hurt her when he left without a word, but still leaving his trace in her every thought. By the time she falls asleep, the sun is just peeking over the mountains, signaling a fresh start.

When Rory wakes up, she pauses, unsure if she wants to check her phone. But she knows that waiting won’t help anything, and it’s best to just check. As she suspected, there were a few texts from Nate. Taking a deep breath, she opens them and skims over the messages.

Whatever makes you feel the best

And I can come over tomorrow night if that isn’t too soon

But I’ll wait for as long as you need me to

Rory pauses for a moment, unsure if it would be too soon. But she did say she was ready, and like ripping off a band-aid, Rory decides it’s best to just get it over with.

Yeah, I can do that. Before or after dinner?

Or during?

Whatever works for me

…..during dinner if you don’t mind

I miss your cooking

Was that too much?

I’m sorry

You better not just be reconciling bc of my food

But yeah, that works

I’m making curry though

Don’t make it too spicy

I’ll try my best lmao

But I guarantee nothing :’)

Rip to my taste buds then lol

But I’ll see you then

Rory takes a deep breath and tries to process the conversation. It felt weird to have Nate joke with her like nothing ever happened. In different circumstances, she would have laughed and teased right back, but it was too much too fast. Nate was picking up where things left off last year, but Rory isn’t ready for that. She’s not even sure she wants to be ready for that again. 

Only a moment later, it finally hits her that Nate is coming over to her apartment the following night. She screams into her pillow, and then sends off a text Piper and her other friends. No matter how tomorrow ends up going, Rory knows that she’ll be an absolute mess afterwards. The thought of seeing Nate in her space is terrifying, but it’s a fear she’s willing to face if it means that they’ll be able to resolve everything.

Before she knows it, Rory is pacing her apartment waiting for Nate to come over. Dinner is already made, due to the fact that she was trying to keep herself busy while waiting for him. As much as Rory wanted to prepare a speech for Nate, to make sure she said everything she wanted to, she also knew that she wouldn’t remember any of it the second she saw his face.

When she hears a loud knock on her door, Rory freezes for a moment. This is her last moment to back out, but she steels herself and goes to open the door. The second she opens the door, there’s a moment of silence, Nate and herself unsure of what to do. Seeing him here makes Rory feel overwhelmed.

“I - hi,” Rory greets weakly. “Um, come on in.”

“Uh, thanks,” Nate replies awkwardly, stepping into her apartment. “It smells good in here.”

Rory smiles a little. “Dinner is already finished. I, uh, got kind of nervous.”

“I can leave if you need more time,” Nate says, concerned.

“No, it’s fine. You just… make me feel a lot of things, I guess,” Rory explains. “Waiting even longer wouldn’t have helped anything.”

“If you say so,” he says, obviously not believing her.

“Well, I guess we can eat first and talk over food,” she replies. “Everything is in the same spot. Still haven’t moved anything yet.”

Nate snorts. “I’m not surprised. And I’m guessing nothing is on the top shelves still?”

“You’re literally the fucking worst, McKinnon,” Rory teases. “I can’t believe I invite you over for dinner and this is what you say to me.”

“Oh I - I’m sorry,” Nate replies, flustered. 

Rory rolls her eyes. “I’m kidding, it’s fine.”

Nate blushes and goes to get plates. They serve up their food in silence and go to sit on the couch. Neither really know what to say, so there’s a few beats of awkward silence. Rory can tell that he’s waiting for her to say something, not wanting to push her too far.

“For the longest time, I wasn’t sure what to make of you just… ignoring me,” Rory whispers. “I knew that playoffs were going to be a hard time. I mean, you already were terrible at replying to things during the season, so I knew the playoffs were going to be worse.

“But then you just… kept ignoring me, even during the summer. And it was hard to not think it was maybe my fault in some way that you kept ignoring me. Like I wasn’t useful or fucking interesting enough to keep around. That’s what hurt the most, you know?”

Nate looks absolutely broken at the confession. He sets down his plate, and Rory follows suit, knowing that neither of them are going to eat until after this is over.

“I never meant to make you feel that way,” Nate says, voice breaking. “I was so scared of fucking up what we had that I thought it was better to stop talking to you. I figured that I had messed up things enough that you wouldn’t care if we stopped talking to me. Gabe tried to tell me otherwise, but I wouldn’t hear it.”

Rory laughs bitterly, trying to hold back her tears. “I cared so much about you Nate, and seeing you just go about your life made me feel so shitty. And it’s been a year now, and I’ve done so much to get over it, but now here you are… somehow, it feels just like it did last summer.”

“You were the one person I had outside of hockey, and I know that if I was just me and not ‘Nate the hockey player’, you would have liked me just as much. That made me so terrified to mess things up that I thought it was better to lose you sooner rather than later,” Nate confesses.

Rory smiles sadly. “In the end, you felt like ‘Nate the hockey player’, and I think that’s what hurt the most.”

“I - fuck, I never meant for it to turn out like this,” Nate says, choking back his tears.

“Neither did I,” she replies. “Seeing you that night in the bar, it scared me. I thought that I was finally over you, but that night showed me that you could still hurt me.”

“Is there anything I can do to fix this? I wanted to talk and I wasn’t sure if you would ever speak to me again.”

Rory pauses for a moment to think. “I don’t really know, if I’m being honest. I want to forgive you, but I’m scared of this happening all over again. My heart isn’t ready to be broken again.”

“Whatever it takes,” Nate whispers.

“Give me some time, okay? Tonight feels like a lot and I don’t know what to do now that you’re here. But I want to make sure that you actually talk to me, Nate. You can’t ignore me again.”

“I promise I’ll try my best. I just… get so focused on one thing, but I won’t push you away again, I swear,” Nate says.

“Okay,” Rory replies, voice breaking, with tears starting to fall down her face.

“Can I hug you?” Nate asks.

She nods, and he pulls her in, holding her tightly. Rory isn’t sure how long they sit there with her cradled in Nate’s arms, but it feels better than she wants to admit. Having him here like this is overwhelming, and she mourns the fact that things are going to be so very different now, no matter what happens.

“Thank you,” Rory says after a few minutes, voice rough from crying.

“Of course,” Nate whispers, slowly pulling back.

When Rory looks up at him, his cheeks are tear-stained as well, and something about that settles something within her. Something about it helps her feel like he missed her just as much, even if it wasn’t in the same way. 

“Our food is probably cold now,” Rory jokes, trying to lighten the mood up a little bit.

“Is that you hinting that you want me to go heat it up again?” Nate asks, smiling.

She laughs a little. “Of course it is.”

“Glad some things never change,” Nate snorts, rolling his eyes. “I’ll get right on it.”

The rest of the evening passes with lighter conversation topics. Rory talks about her promotion at work, and Nate talks about all the new rookies she has to meet soon. It almost feels normal, and it terrifies Rory. Seeing how well he fits back into her life is a lot, and she’s not quite sure how to handle it. She doesn’t want things to move too fast, not before she’s ready, but having these quiet moments back is making it difficult. 

“Thank you for having me over,” Nate says softly as he places the dishes in the dishwasher. “I’m glad we could talk again.”

“Me too,” Rory whispers. “Just… I want things back to normal, but I don’t want to be left behind again.”

“I’ll make sure you don’t,” Nate replies, confident. “Playoffs are happening again soon, and I’ll do better this time. I can’t lose you again.”

Rory smiles sadly. “You could always find someone else, though.”

“You aren’t replaceable, you know,” Nate comments. “You keep saying things like that, and I know you think I could, but I can’t.”

“You’re really making this hard, you know.”

“I just want to show you that you’re worth everything.”

“Still loving flattering people, I see,” Rory teases. 

Nate rolls his eyes. “And you still love to not accept my compliments. I’ll show you one of these days.”

“I’m sure you will,” Rory says, smiling. “You sure you don’t want leftovers?”

“I told you it was too spicy!” Nate exclaims.

“You think everything is spicy, though,” Rory snorts. “But I guess that just means more for me.”

“I guess so,” Nate says softly, smiling. “Well, I’ll talk to you soon?”

“We better talk soon,” Rory replies pointedly. “No falling off the map again.”

“Not this time,” Nate promises. 

Once he’s gone, Rory flops down on her bed and screams into her pillow. The whole evening didn’t feel quite real if she’s being honest. As much as she doesn’t want to admit it, Rory feels herself getting to a place where she can forgive Nate. Tonight reminded her how easy they work together and everything felt… normal. It’s a terrifying thought, especially because if he doesn’t fall off the map again, Rory can envision herself falling in love again.

When Rory walks into work the next morning, she can feel her friends’ eyes on her. She knows that they’re going to interrogate her after work, so she doesn’t mention anything the whole day. Thankfully, they don’t mention anything either, but they definitely keep an eye on her.

“So, emergency meeting at the diner tonight?” Ashton inquires innocently during lunch. “Seems like there’s something going on.”

Rory huffs. “Yeah, an emergency meeting sounds good. There’s a lot I need to catch you up on.”

“Sounds fun,” Ashton replies, smirking. “I’ll tell everyone else about our plans.”

“Thanks, Ash,” Rory snorts. 

When everyone finishes up for the day, they all make their way to their new spot. Thankfully, nobody mentions what the meeting was for, but Rory has a feeling that they already know what happened. Once they’re all seated in a booth towards the back of the diner, everyone turns to look at her.

“I feel like I’m being interrogated for a crime,” Rory jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

“Did you commit a crime?” Shea asks innocently.

“Not that I know of,” Rory says weakly. “But I did meet up with Nate last night. He came over last night for dinner.”

Everyone gives her a questioning look, so she launches into her recap of the night. They all listen patiently as Rory stumbles through it all. Even though they let her talk, she can tell that they’re all concerned.

“So, uh, yeah, that was it,” Rory says, finishing explaining. 

“Are you sure that you’re okay with this?” Blair asks, genuinely worried. 

“I think I'm as ready as I’ll ever be. Seeing him last night made me realize how much I missed him in my life,” Rory answers. 

Blair frowns. “But if he doesn’t do better, are you ready to let him go again?”

“I’m going to have to be, aren’t I? I don’t think I really have a choice in the matter,” Rory replies. “But I think I want to give him the second chance.”

“So… I can’t kick his ass on sight now?” Shea jokes. 

“I don’t think so,” Ashton sighs. “What a shame.”

Rory rolls her eyes. “You’re all the worst.”

“We love you too,” Blair replies, smiling. “I’m glad that you were able to talk to him, though. Even if this all doesn’t work out, you got to talk it out.”

“Yeah, it was nice,” Rory whispers. “Hopefully things turn out a bit happier this time.”

"You have a place in my heart no one else ever could have."  —  F. Scott Fitzgerald

As playoffs and summer rolled around, Rory was pleasantly surprised at how much Nate texted and called her. Even though this is what she was hoping for all those months ago, it felt odd to hear from him so much. Seeing tangible evidence of Nate trying his best to be better felt like too much to take in sometimes, even if it was something small, like making sure that Rory was taking care of herself during the busy workdays.

The only downfall to this is that Rory can feel herself falling back in love with Nate. She tries to push back on it, and tries to ignore the fluttering feeling every time she sees his name pop up on her phone, but it’s hard. Knowing that Nate was making an effort for her caused a tidal wave of feelings, ones that she’s certain aren’t reciprocated.

“I think you’re fooling yourself, you know,” Blair states one Friday night. “Like… he’s putting in so much effort to reconnect that he has to feel something.”

Rory frowns. “I don’t want to get my hopes, I’ve only just gotten him back. And it’s reading too much into it, right?”

“I’m inclined to back up Blair on this one,” Ashton says. “The dude probably has a million friends, but the fact that he missed you so fucking much, even after a year…”

“But he also ignored me for months,” Rory points out. “We all agreed that was fucking terrible, and I doubt he would do that if he was into me.”

Shea shrugs. “That’s definitely a possibility, but… just think about it, okay? I know it’s too soon, but it could be worth a shot eventually.”

“I’m not going to be the one to fuck things up,” Rory says. “I’m just happy we managed to work things out.”

“If you say so,” Ashton replies. “But do you think things are going to be worse once he comes back to Denver?”

“I’m really trying to not think about that,” Rory mumbles. “I’m sure it’ll all be fine. I was doing fine before.”

“Well, we’re all here if you need it,” Blair says, hesitant.

Thankfully, her friends let the subject drop, but Rory knows that she hasn’t heard the last of it quite yet. As much as she wants to be completely open with Nate, she’s terrified of making things awkward between them. It’s only been in the last couple of months that they’ve gotten back to their easy camaraderie they had before.

When September rolls around, Shea insists that Rory invites Nate out to a Friday night bar run. After Nate happily accepts for the following week, Rory starts to feel nervous. She knows that her friends are probably going to give him a subtle shovel talk, and she’s honestly not quite sure how she feels about it. As appreciative she is about her friends looking out for her, Rory also doesn’t know how Nate is going to feel about it.

“You can’t be too mean to him,” Rory states as they all walk to the bar. “I can’t have you scaring him off, okay?”

“We’ll be on our best behavior,” Ashton says cheerily, smirking a little.

“Good lord,” Rory mutters. “At least wait until he’s had a drink or two.”

Shea shrugs. “I think we can manage that.”

By the time they get to the bar, Nate is already there, having grabbed their usual table. Rory warms at the thought of him remembering something like that. Once they all grab their seats, there’s a few beats of silence, nobody quite sure what to say first.

“It’s been a while, good to have you back,” Shea greets, eyeing Nate up. “Good job on winning the cup last year. Rough you couldn’t do it again.”

Nate laughs nervously. “Thanks, we tried our best. Just happy to get to the playoffs again, though.”

Ashton snorts. “We’re not the media, dude. You can be pissed off if you want to be.”

“I - I mean, it’s true,” Nate says weakly. “It was hard getting so close and not winning it again. But, uh, what do you want to drink? I figure the first round can be on me.”

The group looks at each other in pleasant surprise, but lists off their drink orders. When Nate goes up to the bar, they all watch him like a hawk. As Nate’s waiting for their drinks, a girl walks over to Nate, obviously flirting with him. He looks caught  off-guard for a moment, but then smiles brightly, appearing to flirt back. Rory’s friends look to her in concern, and she does her best to shrug it off. It’s not like her and Nate are dating - they’re truly just friends, even if her feelings say otherwise.

“Rory....” Blair whispers.

“I told you, we’re just friends,” Rory whispers harshly. “It’s not that big of a deal, he can do whatever he wants.”

Blair frowns, but doesn’t say anything as she notices Nate walking back with their drinks. Despite what Rory is feeling, she knows that she has no right to be jealous over Nate. They’ve both made it very clear that they’re just friends, and Rory isn’t inclined to mess things up now, not when they’ve just got each other back.

“Sorry it took so long, I just got distracted talking to someone,” Nate says, blushing faintly.

Shea raises an eyebrow. “Did you get a number?”

“Oh, uh, no, I’m here to hang out with you guys tonight,” Nate answers, flustered. “And, uh, I’m not super interested in hooking up right now. I have other things to worry about.”

“Riiiight,” Ashton replies. “So, what have you been up to since you left us last?”

“Not much really, just a lot of practice and games. I also moved into a proper house again since my apartment was feeling a little small,” Nate explains.

“Wait, really? You were just starting to make your apartment look good,” Rory teases. “Am I going to have to give you decorating advice again?”

“I - no, I have everything covered,” Nate defends. “Besides, it was never that bad!”

“Uh huh, whatever you want to say,” Rory says, laughing.

“I mean, I did hear plenty of horror stories from Rory. We’re here to support you,” Ashton says, smirking.

Nate pouts. “I can’t believe I paid for all your drinks and you all gang up on me like this.”

“Don’t worry, it just means we like you well enough,” Shea replies, smiling brightly. “But honestly, you’ve just been up to hockey? That sounds kind of…boring.”

“It’s what I do every summer,” Nate mumbles, obviously embarrassed. 

“He has to keep up his reputation, don’t worry,” Rory jokes.

“At least you have my back,” Nate sighs. 

The rest of the night passes in a similar lighthearted manner. By the time everyone is getting ready to head out, Rory feels pleasantly warm and slightly more drunk than she normally gets. It’s just been nice to be back with Nate in the way she always remembered too fondly. She wants to tell him that, so she looks around, trying to find him.

But her heart drops when she sees the girl from earlier heading over to Nate. Rory glances away and continues following her friends out of the bar. They all look behind her expectantly, thinking that Nate is still following her.

“He’s, uh, talking to someone. I think we’re good to head out,” Rory says, trying to smile.

“Rory…” Blair says softly. 

“No, no, it’s good. I don’t get to be jealous or mad over this. I’m just a little bit drunk,” Rory whispers. 

“Okay, I’m driving you home. Your car will be fine in the staff parking lot over the weekend,” Blair sighs.

“Thank you,” Rory whispers.

The car ride to her apartment is silent, neither wanting to broach the subject. Thankfully, Blair helps Rory to her bed, but before Blair can leave, Rory holds her close and starts sobbing. Rory really isn’t sure how long they sit there with Rory crying into her friend's shoulder, but by the time she pulls back, Blair’s shoulder is wet from the tears.

“Are you really going to be okay?” Blair asks quietly.

“No,” Rory answers, voice rough. “This wasn’t the plan.”

“You never really stopped loving him,” Blair states.

Rory laughs bitterly. “I don’t think I did. And I hate him for that.”

“I still have a couple of friends that might be interested, you know,” Blair comments, joking.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Rory snorts. “Thank you for this.”

“You’re one of my best friends, of course I’m here to help,” Blair says. “Maybe call Piper in the morning, okay? She always seems to knock the most sense into you.”

“That… is too true,” Rory sighs. “I’ll see you on Monday?”

“Yeah, see you on Monday,” Blair says before heading out.

Once Rory hears the door shut, she sighs deeply. It scares her that just seeing Nate flirt with someone had this effect on her. She knows that she shouldn’t be hurt if she isn’t willing to confess her feelings because of course Nate is going to find someone else. He’s a professional athlete, it’s not like he doesn’t have options.

And Rory has to accept that she’ll never be an option - even as much as she wants to be. Nate put so much effort into reconnecting because he wants to be friends again, not because he ever loved her in any non-platonic sense of the word. It hurts, but Rory will learn to get over herself as long as it means keeping Nate in her life. She lost him once, she refuses to have it happen again.

When she wakes up the next morning, she feels a bit gross, and as she remembers the previous night, Rory doesn’t feel much better. But she also knows that she should call Piper, knowing that her friend will want to know what’s going on.

“Hey sweetie, what’s up?” Piper asks in lieu of a proper greeting. 

“Um, so you know how Nate and I have been becoming friends again? I think I might have fucked things up and fallen in love with him,” Rory confesses. 

“Does he not love you back? I’ll come and kick his ass,” Piper says. 

“I don’t think he does,” Rory whispers. 

“Wait, why do you make it sound like you don’t know for sure?”

“He was flirting with someone last night and we agreed to be just friends.”

“Are you sure that he could have just said that to make sure you were in his life no matter what? He could be just as scared as you are about saying something.”

“Why would he be scared of me?” Rory inquires, confused. 

“How many times do I have to tell you that you’re not something replaceable? You are worth so much, and I think Nate knows that,” Piper says firmly. “You should tell him, Rory.”

“I only just got him back, though,” Rory whispers.

“Just… think about it, okay? I really think it could be something good if you gave it a chance.”

“I’m not ready yet,” Rory says softly. “Losing him again would feel… god, it would hurt even more than before. It would tear my heart out, Piper.”

Piper takes a deep breath. “I think Nate loving you has been so subtle that it’s hard to see at first. But I think it’s there, for all that it matters.”

“I hate this so much,” Rory sobs, not able to hold back the tears. “I can’t love him anymore, Piper. I can’t handle this.”

“You can, babe, I know you can handle this,” Piper says soothingly. “If he really doesn’t love you back, then there will be someone else to love you just as much as you love everyone else.”

“You really think so?”

“Of course I do. You deserve it.”

“I hate that, even now, he has me crying over him,” Rory whispers. 

“I’m sorry I can’t be there for you, but I know you’ll figure it all out soon enough. Now, is there anything else fun you can update me on?”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Rory says, grateful for the distraction.

By the time Rory hangs up, she’s feeling a bit better. Even though Piper seems to think that Nate has feelings for her, Rory refuses to mess things up again. She’s willing to keep her friendship with Nate, even at the cost of seeing him love other people in the way she wants for herself. As much as she doesn’t want to, Rory thinks it might be time to ask Blair about her friends.

Despite coming to that resolution, it still takes Rory several days to build up the confidence to ask Blair about it. As much as she doesn’t want to admit it, something about it feels like she’s giving up on Nate. But she’s cried over him enough now, and she accepts that it’s time to move on forward from her feelings.

“Wait, so you’re… actually interested?” Blair inquires, obviously unsure. “Or are you doing this just to get over Nate?”

“A little bit of both, if I’m being honest,” Rory answers. “But I have to put myself out there eventually. I can’t keep putting it off.”

Blair frowns a little. “Well, if you’re totally sure, then I can set something up. Do you remember Jacob from the holiday party last year?”

“Yeah, he seemed fun,” Rory says, already knowing where this is going.

“He was definitely interested in you, but I knew you were still going through it with Nate, even if you didn’t want to admit it. But if you’re up for it now…”

“I’m definitely up for it now.”

And this is how Rory finds herself going on a coffee date with Jacob the following Saturday. It’s definitely awkward at first, but once they find their stride, Rory finds herself enjoying her time. They spend hours talking about anything and everything. By the time the date is over, Rory feels tentatively hopeful about the whole thing.

Once Rory gets back to her apartment, she notices a text from Nate asking if she wants to get dinner with him. She hesitates - she doesn’t want to ruin the happiness she felt earlier today with all of the confusing feelings Nate brings with him. But that’s also not his fault, so Rory says he can come over if he brings takeout. 

Nate sends a smiley face and that he’ll grab food from her favorite diner on the way. While Rory waits, she tries to calm herself down. Her date with Jacob was good, and he was genuinely interested in her, not something she could say for Nate. Before she knows it, she hears Nate knocking on the door.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Rory greets as she lets him in.

“You replied late today. Rough night at the bar last night?” Nate teases, setting the food down in the kitchen. 

Rory blushes. “Oh, uh, I actually went on a date today, so that’s why I didn’t reply.”

“That’s, uh, that’s great,” Nate says, smiling a little. “Was it a good one?”

“Yeah, we had a great time. I mean, it was pretty chill, but it was nice to get to know Jacob a bit more,” Rory explains. “We actually met last year at the company holiday party.”

“Oh, I’m glad it went well,” Nate says awkwardly.

“Are you okay?” Rory inquires, confused. 

“Yeah, of course, just a bit tired from practice, I guess.”

“If you say so. Now, did you get the usual?”

Nate snorts. “I’m a creature of habit, what else do you expect?”

Things lighten up a bit after that, the awkwardness slowly disappearing the longer Nate hangs out. Rory’s really not too sure what to think of it, but she takes it worth a grain of salt. If he says practice has been exhausting, then she’ll just take his word for it. 

The weeks pass and Rory goes on more dates with Jacob, even to the point of bringing him to this year’s holiday party as her date. Nate hardly asks about him anymore, but Rory takes that as him not really being into her romantic life. She can get that, especially since she hardly ever asks about his dating life as well, even if it was because she was scared to hear the answer.

All of the careful walls Rory has built recently all fall apart on a Saturday afternoon. Jacob is over for lunch, and he seems to have a serious look on his face. Rory doesn’t think much of it at first, thinking it must be something work related that he’s still hung up on.

“Are you feeling okay?” Rory inquires softly. “Looks like you’re doing a lot of thinking over there.”

Jacob smiles softly. “I - well, I really hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but are you in love with Nate?”

“Am I… what?” Rory replies, freezing. “Where did you get that idea?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at him the couple of times we’ve gone to games, and just the way you talk about him…” Jacob explains. “It’s okay if you love him, but I really don’t think we should be dating if that’s the case.”

Rory pauses for a moment, thinking over her answer. “I lost my chance with him a long time ago, and… I’m still trying to get over it, I guess.”

“You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if he loves you back,” Jacob says, smiling sadly.

“That would be a nice thought,” Rory replies, trying to laugh. “But I promise I wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t want to.”

Jacob sighs deeply. “You’re an amazing person and anyone would be lucky to have you. And if Nate doesn’t realize what he has, he’s a fucking idiot. But I think you need to figure out your feelings first.”

“Are you… breaking up with me?” Rory asks, voice cracking.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” Jacob says softly. “I just think you need to say something to Nate because something tells me he won’t say no.”

Rory laughs bitterly. “You wouldn’t be the first person to tell me that.”

“Then maybe they’re right,” Jacob points out. “Look, this is just as hard as it is for me, but I’ve seen how you look at him. This is the healthiest thing for both of us to do, okay?”

“Shit, you’re right, I know you are,” Rory groans. “It just fucking sucks.”

Jacob smiles sadly. “Things will get better soon, I promise. I’ll, uh, see you around.”

“Yeah, of course,” Rory says softly as Jacob heads out.

As sad as she is over what happened, Rory knows that Jacob is right. Despite how much she enjoyed being around him and doing things with him, there’s still a small part of her that’s hung up on Nate. And in the end, that isn’t fair to either of them in the long run. 

It also makes her think about how honest she wants to be with Nate. He’s going to want to know what happened between her and Jacob, but she’s not sure if she should tell him exactly why. The thought of telling him everything is terrifying, but if there’s any chance that he could feel the same way, even after everything that’s happened…she’s not quite sure what to make of it all.

When Monday rolls around, she asks her friends for an emergency meeting at the diner after work. They all look a bit worried, but agree to not ask any questions until then. If anyone could talk sense into Rory, it would be them.

“So… what’s going on?” Ashton inquires once everyone is piled into a booth.

“Jacob broke up with me because I’m still in love with Nate,” Rory confesses in a rush. “And… I don’t know what to do.”

“I - well, that’s a lot to unpack,” Shea replies. “I thought you were over Nate.”

Rory snorts. “So did I, but I think I was ignoring my feelings because I had Jacob. And, uh, that’s obviously not very healthy at all.”

“Are you going to tell Nate about them?” Blair asks innocently. “Because I think he deserves to know. And if things don’t work out, maybe you can finally move on.”

“I - honestly, I really don’t know,” Rory whispers. “I know it’s probably the right thing to do, but it scares me. The thought of him rejecting me hurts more than I want to admit.”

“I know I’m a huge advocate of saying things when you’re ready, but it might be time to do something about it,” Blair says. 

“Yeah, we all love you, Rory, and it hurts seeing all of this happen,” Ashton replies. “Just consider it, okay? And if things go to shit, we’ll be ready with junk food and shitty wine.”

Rory smiles sadly. “Thanks, guys, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Things lighten up a bit after that, but Rory feels a bit better. Asking Nate to put in effort to try and make their friendship better only makes sense if she’s doing the same. Sure, this has the potential to ruin everything, but it’s not any better to keep her feelings trapped up either, especially if her heart is out on her sleeve. 

Despite coming to this conclusion, Rory avoids Nate for as long as she can. She’s still afraid of rejection, of being officially told that he doesn’t feel the same way. Blair does her best to encourage Rory, and it’s not like Nate’s going to accept being ignored, not this time. Eventually, it comes down to Nate coming to Rory’s place unannounced for them to meet up.

“Oh, uh, hi,” Rory greets as she opens the door for Nate.

“I was getting worried about you,” he replies, frowning. “But everyone said that you were just really busy.”

“Uh, yeah, it’s been a bit hectic. I’ve been starting to open the internship applications for the summer, so there’s a lot of stuff to focus on,” Rory explains with uncertainty as she leads them to the couch.

“I’m not intruding, am I?” Nate inquires, frowning.

“No, of course not,” Rory answers, taking a seat next to him. “Um, I guess I’ve also been a bit out of it because Jacob broke up with me.”

“Oh,” Nate says, shocked. “I - shit, are you okay?”

Rory feels her heart pounding in her chest as she decides to confess and lay everything out in the open. There’s going to be no going back after this, but she has to be brave for just this one moment.

“I think I will be,” Rory says quietly. “He actually broke up with me because he thinks I’m still in love with you.”

Nate freezes for a brief moment, looking like a deer in headlights. “And… are you still in love with me?”

“Yeah, I am,” Rory whispers. “I think I’ve been in love with you for a long time, but could never fully admit it to myself.”

“What a coincidence,” Nate says, laughing a little. “Because I’m in love with you too. I’ve been trying to get over you for so long, but it always comes back to you. Losing you the first time was terrifying.”

Rory gives him a confused look. “Why did you never say anything? I would have said yes.”

“You’re one of the best things to ever happen to me and the thought of fucking it up… I couldn’t handle it, so I focused fully on playoffs. Gabe tried to get me to say something, but I thought never seeing you again was better than hearing no,” Nate explains.

“I can’t believe we’ve both been so dumb,” Rory says breathlessly.

“Can I kiss you?” Nate asks softly.

“Of course you can, you idiot,” Rory answers, just as soft.

When he leans in to kiss her, she feels a brief moment of disbelief that it is actually happening. But it’s so much softer than she was expecting as she leans into it, holding onto his shoulders to try and ground herself. As Nate pulls away, Rory feels the immense loss, even though he’s right in front of her.

“I waited so long to do that,” Nate says. 

“Same here,” Rory replies, giggling. 

“Um, would it be rushing if I asked you to be my girlfriend already?” Nate asks, nervous.

Rory shrugs. “Maybe, but it’s a yes anyways.”

“That’s good,” Nate whispers before kissing Rory again.

“When I go towards you, it is with my whole life.” — Rainer Maria Rilke

It’s summer again in Denver and Rory has taken to staying over at Nate’s place more often than not. He decided to come back early this year to spend more time with her to make up for lost time. Rory was flustered at first, knowing that it was disrupting his usual routine, but he was insistent that she was worth it.

Rory rolls over and curls into Nate, who’s still surprisingly in bed. He kisses her head softly, causing her to smile. It’s rare that they cuddle together in the morning with Nate’s training schedule, so she enjoys every moment she can.

“Good morning,” Nate says softly. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, just enjoying this,” Rory mumbles. “Thought you would be gone by now.”

“This seemed a little bit better than working out,” Nate jokes. 

Rory laughs and adjusts to look up at him, smiling widely. Nate leans down to give her a quick kiss before setting his phone back down on the nightstand. In this moment, Rory feels the most content she’s felt in a long time. Everything just… feels right and she doesn’t want to break the moment.

“What are you staring at?” Nate asks, trying to not laugh.

“You,” Rory answers, smiling a little before giving him a quick kiss.

“Mmm, morning breath,” Nate mumbles, kissing her back. “Also didn’t realize I was that nice to look at.”

“Well, you are. And I’m just really happy,” Rory states. 

Nate's eyes crinkle as he smiles widely and goes to kiss Rory again. They get lost in each other and the slowing of time that only an early summer morning can bring. This time, Rory pulls away, knowing that they have other matters to take care of today. She knows that there will be plenty of other moments like this to enjoy now that they have forever ahead of them.

“You promised that we would go furniture shopping today,” Rory says.

“Ugh,” Nate groans, pulling her up to kiss her jaw. “I don’t want to though.”

“We can’t keep putting this off forever, though,” Rory points out. “I’ll just keep bugging you until we do it.”

“Why can’t I just give you my credit card? It’s not like I’m going to be any help,” Nate points out.

“But I want you to be there,” Rory replies, smiling. “I like being around you.”

“I’m sure you won’t be saying that two hours into furniture shopping. There’s a reason why I made my mom do all the shopping.”

“And I love your mother, she made some very good choices. But it’s… kind of empty here, isn’t it?”

Nate sighs. “Fine, I guess I can go. Just this once.”

“I love you,” Rory blurts out, then immediately freezing. 

“Oh,” Nate says softly, seemingly surprised.

“I - sorry that’s probably too much,” Rory whispers. 

“But you meant it?”

“Of course I do. You’re one of the best things to happen to me, Nate. I know things have been hard before this but...I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Nate stares at Rory for a moment, trying to process everything. He reaches over and holds her face, stroking her jaw before giving her a quick kiss. 

“I love you too,” Nate confesses softly as he pulls back. “I’m so sorry I left you the first time, but I promise to keep making it up to you, no matter what.”

Rory laughs a little, before smirking. “And now you can make it up to me by going furniture shopping with me.”

“I guess it’s not going to be so bad with you if it means I get to keep you around.”

“Good answer, babe.”

“I’m going to make some coffee, but take your time.”

Rory hums a little. “Okay, I’ll be out soon.”

Once Nate is out of the room, Rory takes a deep breath. Despite being together for months now, he still manages to set her off balance in the best of ways. There’s brief moments where none of this feels real to Rory - she still has times where it’s hard to imagine Nate being happy about dating her. But hearing Nate tell her that he loves her...something about it settles some of her worries about their relationship.

The smell of fresh coffee finally tempts Rory to roll out of bed and throw on one of Nate’s old t-shirts in place of her pajamas. As she makes her way to the kitchen, she also hears the sizzling of bacon and Nate cracking some eggs. This brings a small smile to her face, knowing that this means Nate is going to try and push for a lazy morning as long as possible.

“You look nice,” Nate says, smiling. 

Rory rolls her eyes. “I don’t look any better than before.”

“Ah, I think that’s where you’re wrong,” Nate remarks, giving her a quick kiss. “You -”

“Always look better with my clothes on,” Rory finishes, smiling. “I think you’ve mentioned it a couple of times.”

“Still true, no matter how many times I’ve said it,” Nate says. “I’ve got breakfast going, so you can just grab some coffee and relax.”

“This is nice,” Rory replies softly. “It’s not going to get you out of shopping today though.”

Nate sighs, laughing a little. “It was worth a shot.”

“You should feel lucky that I’m going furniture shopping for a place I don’t even live in, though,” Rory points out. “Like, I’m not even going to fully enjoy everything I pick out.”

“You could though,” Nate blurts out, immediately blushing.

“Are you… implying something here?” Rory inquires, raising an eyebrow. 

“Um,” Nate says. “I was just thinking you could, uh, maybe move in with me to fully enjoy whatever you pick out.”

“Babe, you literally just told me that you loved me this morning,” Rory snorts. “I appreciate the offer, but this is a lot right now.”

Nate groans and hides his face in Rory’s shoulder. She laughs a little, knowing how embarrassed he’s feeling right now. Ever since they’ve started dating, he’s gotten a lot better at communicating, even if it means blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.

“Look, my answer isn’t a no,” Rory says. “I still have my lease for a little less than a year, but after that, we can talk.”

“Okay,” Nate mumbles before pulling back. “I’m sorry for being too much.”

Rory smiles. “I don’t mind it, you know that. But if you ever want to back out of the offer…”

“I’m not going to back out,” Nate pouts.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, babe,” Rory says, smiling. “Now make sure the bacon isn’t burning, okay?”

Nate smiles, kissing her softly. “Okay, can do.”

This might not be how Rory was expecting her morning to go, but she’s grateful for it nonetheless. Being here with Nate likes this is more than she could have asked for this time last year, and she’s never felt so lucky.

#nathan mackinnon #colorado avalanche #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nathan mackinnon imagine #fic #mine

[fantastic-bby]

Lia

Pairing: (F)Reader x Felix

Word count: 2.6k

Genre: Guardian Angel!Felix | Fluff | Romance 

Summary: When Felix accidentally reveals himself to you, he has no other choice but to explain what he was planning. You think through the many years spent together, reliving those moments that he’s been by your side when he suggests taking you up to Heaven to turn you into an angel. 

Warnings: Mentions of a car accident | Mentions of alcohol 

Masterlist || Chan - Maive || Minho - Kira || Changbin - Skye || Hyunjin - Nova || Jisung - Blair || Seungmin - Raisha || Jeongin - Avia

“F-Felix?” 

“I-I can explain,” he stutters. You stare at his wings in complete disbelief. You watch the way they fold behind him ever so shyly when he realises he’s too far deep in to make any excuses. “I’m your guardian angel.” You can feel your heart racing in your chest and before you know it, you’ve collapsed. Felix lets out a panicked squeak before running to catch you. “(Y/n)?” He tries shaking you to wake you up, but when it’s obvious that you’re unconscious, he’s even more panicked. “Oh god, o-okay.” 

Without any other options left, Felix resorts to carrying you to his bedroom and tucking you in before he moves to his living room. He tells himself he’ll just tell you it’s a dream when you wake up.

Oh how Felix manages to mess that up. 

“It was not a dream.” You almost choke when you see your boyfriend standing in the kitchen with a pair of wings extending from his bare back. Felix whips around and almost spits out the orange juice he was drinking when he sees you. 

“Oh my god,” he winces as he realises he was being careless around you again. Felix moves to you slowly. “I won’t hurt you, I promise.” He realises how tense you are. He can sense how scared you are. “I know how weird and freaky this seems, but I would never hurt you.” 

“T-Then, why d-d-do you have w-wings?” Your eyes are still fixated on his wings. 

“I am your guardian angel. The simplest way I can put it is that I was assigned to protect you when you turned 16,” Felix explains, “I’m basically supposed to watch over you until your time comes. I keep you safe from demon stuff and spirits and all the jazz.” 

“You say ‘all that jazz’ like it’s so normal,” you huff. He gives you a sheepish smile. 

“I wasn’t supposed to show you I was a guardian angel—damn it,” he groans. “I’m not usually this careless around my humans.” You watch the way Felix runs a frustrated hand through his hair. He’s fucked up. He’s already getting shit for dating you, now the deities are going to pound on him for revealing himself. 

“So…” you trail off as you let the new information process in your mind, “you’re my guardian angel.” Felix nods.

“Whenever a human turns 16, a guardian angel gets assigned to them. It’s up to the angel how they’d go about the protection,” he explains slowly, worried that you might get confused, “they could stay hidden or show themselves and be a close friend to watch over you. Some angels just float around secretly and others will just add themselves into your lives; like I did.” You stare at him blankly. “(Y/n)? You in there?” He waves a hand in front of your face. 

“Y-Yeah,” you quickly nod. “It’s just a bit much. I didn’t think angels existed.” You continue to just stare at him, taking in the sight of his new form. A few moments pass before you step closer, your hand reaching out towards his wings. “May I?” 

“O-Oh,” he nods. “Go ahead.” Your fingers come into contact with his feathers and you’re surprised at just how soft they are. Felix subconsciously retracts them shyly, a blush coming on his cheeks when he hears your thoughts. He relaxes a tad, letting you admire his wings.

“Your wings are so pretty,” you breathe out softly as you bring your other hand up to brush through his feathers. He turns away from you, hiding his blush the more your fingers gently graze his wings. “Wait.” The realisation strikes you and you pull away to look at Felix. “If you’re my guardian angel, then is this…” you gesture to the both of you, “okay? Shouldn’t there be rules on these kinds of things?” 

“Ahah,” Felix lets out an awkward laugh. “Yeah, they’re not that happy with me on that. They’re giving me a pass because they said you’re good.” You give him a questioning look. “Well, say you’re good enough to be an angel, they’ll make you one. That way, we’ll be angels together.” He has a shy smile on his freckled face. “That is if—you know—you would like to join me in becoming an angel.” Your heart softens. 

You’ve never loved anyone more than you’ve loved Felix; that much you’re sure of. He had been by your side throughout high school and college; even staying with you after you had both graduated and moved to working your own separate jobs. Staying by your side may have been his job, but he made you happy. 

The many times he had run over to your apartment whenever you felt unsafe finally made sense. Felix always came quick. Even when you were both in high school, Felix somehow managed to sneak his way into your family’s hearts as well. Your parents barely bat an eye whenever he slept over for weekly movie nights and they never really questioned it whenever he would show up unannounced on days you were feeling your worst. 

“Are you okay?” he questioned softly when he found you crying in the corner of your bedroom. You shook your head. Felix sat beside you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to bring your head to his chest. “I’m here for you. I’ll always be here.” His words stuck to you. Ever since then, the first person you’d reach out to was always Felix. 

Even when you were in that car accident, all you could think about was him. 

The damage was so much that you knew you were slowly starting to lose consciousness. Everything was becoming blurrier and the dark spots in your vision were getting bigger. The moment Felix came to your mind, you swear you heard him calling out to you right before you lost consciousness. When you came to, you were in a hospital with Felix sleeping in the sofa chair beside your bed. You felt terrible. The first thing you heard other than the beeping from the machines that you were attached to was snoring from your friend. You turned and your chapped lips parted when you saw him sleeping, soft snores leaving past his own parted lips. 

You turned to look around the room, wondering just how you ended up in the hospital; the memory of Felix running up to you completely hidden in your mind. “You’re finally awake.” His voice makes you turn to see him looking at you with lazy eyes. 

“What happened?” Your voice came out raspy, causing you to cough. 

“You got into an accident,” he muttered as he sat upright, stretching his arms out above his head. “The doctor told me to get him when you wake up.” Felix stood up, scooching over to your bed. His hand brushed your matted hair gently. “I’ll be right back, okay?” Your hand quickly moved to wrap around his wrist, stopping him from moving away. 

“Don’t leave,” you said softly. Felix’s eyes immediately softened. 

“Just for a moment, (Y/n). I need to get the doctor,” he told you, his hand adjusting to hold yours; thumb gently running over your knuckles. “I promise I’ll be back.” Your grip around his hand loosened as he left your hospital room. You sat in your bed, waiting a few minutes before he returned with a nurse. Felix called your family before moving to stay by your side while the nurse called your doctor. 

Felix was there even when you were coming home drunk from a college party. 

“(Y/n), be careful!” he squeaked when you trip over your heels. “Take those off. You can wear my sneakers.” Felix slips his shoes off and slides them over to you.

“Thaaaaank you, Lixieeeee,” you giggled, slipping your feet into his shoes. “What about you?” You looked down at his socked feet. 

“Don’t worry about me. Let’s just get you home.” He continued to carefully guide you home, holding your hand gently until you reached your dorm. “Drink this,” Felix handed you a glass of water. You take it, gulping down the entire glass. “Careful! You’ll choke,” he scolded. You gave him a look before placing the glass on the counter. 

“I’m fineeeee,” you slurred. Felix shook his head before guiding you to your bedroom. “Just get some sleep, okay?” He handed you a random t-shirt, turning around to let you change before helping you into bed. 

“Don’t leave me,” you whined when he started to leave. Felix let out a soft sigh. 

“Do you want me to stay in your living room?” he questioned. You shook your head, grabbing his wrist and tugging him into bed with you. 

“Stay with me, Lixie,” you muttered against his shoulder. Felix blushed at the close contact, unsure of what he should do with his arms. “You know Lixie,” you started softly, “we’ve been friends for so long, but I think I like you more than that.” He froze at your words. “You’re so cute and you’re so nice to me.” You looked up at him, your hands moving to cup his face. “Your freckles are so pretty. They’re like stars,” your thumb ran over his freckled cheeks. Felix stared at you, unsure of what he should say. He had feelings for you. He just didn’t want to say anything because he was your guardian. 

“Get some sleep, (Y/n),” he finally said. 

“Thank you, Lixie,” you hum as you snuggle into his chest. Felix barely missed the soft ‘I love you’ that slips past your lips. He dismissed it as your drunken haze, not wanting to dwell on anything that would only make his feelings for you grow. Felix closed his eyes, making a mental note to grab some ibuprofen for you when the morning comes. 

He was even there the time you got into a fight with a classmate, resulting in many bruises to your face. 

“(Y/n), (Y/n), calm down,” Felix frantically tried to calm you down. 

“No! This bitch deserves it!” you stubbornly yap as you still tried to reach out to her. 

“She’s not worth it, (Y/n),” he grabbed onto your waist and pulled you away. 

“Pussy!” your classmate spat at you. 

“Come on, (Y/n). Let’s just head home,” he muttered as he started to drag you away from her. You only managed to calm down when Felix dragged you back to his place where he cleaned up the busted lip your classmate gave you. 

“And then she said you were not even that great of a dancer! Do you know how much of an asshole she is?!” you rambled. Felix only nodded, humming every once in a while to let you know he was listening. “She called my dog ugly! My dog! That tiny ball of fluff that’s the same exact breed as hers! She’s pretty much calling her own dog ugly.” 

“Don’t worry about it, (Y/n). She’s not worth your energy,” he hummed when he deemed your face cleaned up. “Now, how about I heat up some leftover pizza and we can watch a movie together? How does that sound?” Felix’s suggestion did little to bring your mood up, but you agree nonetheless. You watched as he moved around the kitchen, putting pizza into the microwave and grabbing a few bottles of soju from the fridge. The years you’ve spent together slowly settle in your mind and you realised just how much time he had spent with you. 

You thought through the years and you realise:

You love him. 

“(Y/n)?” Felix waved his hand in front of your face. “You in there?” You nodded. 

“Yeah, I’m here.” 

Felix only realised he was falling in love with you when you got accepted into the dean’s list together. He thought the smile on your face was the most beautiful he had ever seen. Felix liked seeing you happy. He realised that when you ran up to him with open arms. 

“Felix! We’re in the dean’s list!” you excitedly giggled as you hold up your phone to show him the email.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “we are.” Felix couldn’t hold back his smile at how happy you looked. He thought you were radiating—glowing—and he realised how much shit he was in just by falling in love with you. He tried so hard to keep his feelings at bay, but when he realised he couldn’t anymore, he started thinking of a plan. 

The thought of turning you into an angel only came to Felix’s mind when he found a fallen angel lurking around your apartment. If you joined the angels, you would be safe from their influence. Not only that, Felix would be with you forever. He kept the plan in his mind, only opting to bring it up to his deities when they finally figured out what he was doing. 

It was a normal movie night for the both of you. You had just gotten home from your part time job  and Felix was lurking around your kitchen to see what kind of snacks you had hidden from him. When he heard your door open, he peeked over your fridge door to see him dragging yourself into your home tiredly. 

“How was work?” he questioned as he finally pulled out two bottles of beer from your fridge. 

“Terrible,” you sighed. “I’m just glad I can finally relax and just watch movies with you.” Felix could feel himself lightening up when he hears just how relieved you are to be home. 

“I picked out something fun.” 

“Horror fun or funny fun?” You gave him a weird look. 

“Funny fun.” His clarification makes you feel more relieved. 

“There’s popcorn in the cupboard next to the fridge. I’m gonna go get cleaned up first.” You disappeared into your bedroom, leaving Felix to prepare the living room. When you come out, you’re pleasantly surprised when you see him surrounded by a makeshift pillow fort. “How’d you get this up so quickly?” you asked with a small smile. 

“Speed, and also,” Felix turned around to grab a cushion, “you have a lot of cushions for one person.” The smile on your face didn’t disappear even when you carefully crawled into the fort where he had set up your laptop. “It's a perfect space for cuddles.” He outstretched his arms, making grabby hands to silently ask you to crawl into his embrace. You climbed into his arms, letting Felix hold you tightly against him. 

“Let’s start.” You hit play, letting the movie start while resting your head on your best friend’s chest. Felix didn’t plan it, but when you realised he wasn’t watching the movie, you looked up at him. “You in there?” Your voice was soft, sounding genuinely concerned. He stared at you—blinking a few times—and leaned down to kiss you. You didn’t move; shocked by the sudden gesture, but you kissed him back nonetheless. When he pulled away, your face was completely red. “Felix-”

“I’m in love with you,” he confessed. Felix awaited your response, feeling his confidence slowly fading away the longer you just stared at him. Instead of rejecting him, your hand came up to cup his cheek. 

“I love you, too.” Your thumb brushed over his cheekbone gently. “I’ve been in love with you since we started college.” 

“Yeah,” he chuckles, “you told me that time you were drunk. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to embarrass you.” 

“What?!” you squeak. Your face became even more red if it was possible. 

“What? I saved you the embarrassment,” he cheekily teased. 

“(Y/n)? You in there?” Felix’s voice pulls you out of the memories you were replaying in your mind. You nod, smiling at the phrase he’s used so many times whenever you’d zone out. 

“I’m here.” You take a step closer to him and take his hands in yours. “I’ll be an angel with you.” A smile breaks onto his face. “I want to be with you forever.”

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[artificialqueens]

Gimme Love, 6/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Welp, I'm back from travelling! For anyone interested to know how it went; it was great (if you love stress). Liverpool is a lovely place but I've destroyed my bank account :D

Anyway! We got 4 more chapters of this fic! This is where the conflict begins. I hope yall enjoy.

TW for this chapter: Homophobia, homophobic slurs

2020

The cake was in the fridge. We'd be seeing him later. For now, we settled for some spaghetti. It had become a sort of tradition for Jujubee and me for moments that needed celebrating. But we hadn't done it in so long, what with the stress of work.

"So, Juju, as you can see, I've labelled the pages you're allowed to read, so don't go looking at other shit, OK?" I asked, chopping up a red bell pepper.

"Why? If I do, am I gonna find some porn-y shit?" She quipped, running a hand along with the butterfly print book.

"Honestly, you know all of those details anyway." I gave her a smirk, taking a piece of pepper and throwing it over to her.

I almost expected it to fly past her head, but she caught it in her mouth. Skill.

"OK, but what's in the box, though?"

I almost forgot what she was even referring to. But following her gaze, I saw it, sitting on the kitchen counter beside the fridge. "Oh, that?" I scraped the peppers into the saucepan, "That is my memory box."

"Ooh, that's even more exciting." She beamed.

"No. We're not opening it." I moved on to an onion.

"Aw, why not?" Jujubee whined.

"Because I made my Mom promise me she wouldn't give it to me until I turned 50. But I was weak and begged her to give it back. So now, I've promised myself to not look inside until I turn 50." The air was no longer clean, poisoned with the acid from the onion. My eyes were beginning to sting.

"Aw, Brie, you don't need to get all emotional about it." She had to go and joke about the tear now trickling down my cheek.

"Girl, this is torture," I wipe my eye along my wrist, pretty sure my eyeshadow has been fucked up. "Did I fuck up the smokey eye?"

"Nope." I knew she was lying to me, but she couldn't take her eyes away, "You look absolutely gorgeous as usual."

"Not as hot as you, though." I sniffed. I needed her to focus on reading so I could finish chopping the onion as soon as possible. "Anyway, you wanna read something in there?"

Jujubee opened the book and immediately laughed, "Jesus Christ, Brie, bit dark."

She showed me the first page, childlike scribblings read 'Brianna's Diary. DO NOT TOUCH! Or this will happen to you!' An arrow led to a picture of a grave.

"I never even noticed that before," I chuckled.

"With a warning like that, I better find some crazy shit in here." she cleared her throat, "So starting in 1994, 'Diary Diary, Today, I had a fight with Jujubee. She really upset me, but I upset her too. I should say sorry. That's all. Bye.'" Jujubee lowered the diary, "you bitch, why did you upset me?"

"I have no idea, girl. I mean, didn't we do that a lot back then?" I shrugged.

"I bet you started it though," She lifted the book again, a coy smile on her face. "OK, moving on to 1995," she cleared her throat, "'Dear Diary, today Mommy and Juju's Mommy took us to see Pocahontas at the movies. It was very good. Goodnight.'" Jujubee paused to giggle, "God, I love how detailed this is. You could have added so much more."

"Girl, I was 8 years old. Writing more than 4 sentences was like writing the bible to me." I countered, finally scraping the onions into the pan with the peppers.

"Yeah, but we did so much more that day. We went to McDonald's after, we found that little frog pond in the woods." She pointed out.

I hadn't even remembered that. Now I kind of wished my younger self would have pushed herself to write more.

I was too busy rifling through my messy cabinet for oregano to notice Jujubee just flicking through page by page.

"But, you wrote 3 pages worth of poetry to Blair St Clair?"

Once I found the spice, I spun around to look at her, "Juju, I told you to only look at the pages that were labelled."

She held a hand up, "OK, I'm sorry." She closed the book.

I felt bad, thinking maybe my harsh tone brought the fun to a grinding halt. Squeezing my eyes shut, releasing a sigh, I said, "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."

She took a sip of her water while I added the oregano to the saucepan.

"So, did you text her back?" She played with the glass in her hands.

I pursed my lips and shook my head. "Why? Do you think I should?" I asked quietly.

"Nah, not really."

"Well, why not?"

Jujubee shrugged her shoulders and went to look at her nails. "Don't know."

I clicked my heel, my tongue running along the top row of teeth behind my closed mouth. "Well, I've been thinking about it. I mean, maybe that's the problem. Maybe I could be a bit more responsive."

She made a humming sound. I was unsure what it was supposed to mean.

"OK, what's going on?" I put both hands on the counter.

"I don't know. I just think…" she paused, trying to find her words, "I don't see the point because the same shit will just happen again."

"The same shit?" I repeated, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, her speaking all but 10 words to you and then completely ignoring your existence." She put a hand under her chin.

"Well, maybe that wouldn't happen if I actually spoke to her like I wasn't terrified for once," I suggested.

She squeezed her eyes together, "Oh no, Brie. I knew this was going to happen."

"What was going to happen?"

"The whole Blair thing. I thought you were over it. Well, until she messaged you recently, I had a creeping feeling that it was all gonna come back."

"Juju, listen to yourself. You're talking like this is an actual problem."

"I hate to say it, but it is. Do you remember the time she hung out with you in the library? You were so excited the next day. I hadn't seen you so happy in so long. You wouldn't stop talking about how she would probably be there again." She paused, "But she wasn't. And you were so disappointed."

"Yeah, but things could be different now."

"And how's that?"

"Well, I'm a different fucking person now, that's one thing. I'm successful, I'm smart, I'm hot as fuck, rich as fuck - -"

"And you think that's gonna be the game-changer for her? That she's gonna come running into your arms? Because if that's the case, that says a lot about her." Jujubee rolled her eyes.

"Well, I'm a big girl, now. If it happens again, I'll just get on with things. I'll move on.

"That's a lie."

I squinted my eyes. "Why are you being like this right now? You're so salty just because I fucked wrote a private letter to her as a child."

"This isn't about the letter, Brie. You know why I'm being like this. You shouldn't need to ask." But she continued, "You've never dealt with never having parents. You think that if Blair was to suddenly be truly interested in you, you'd get over the feeling of being unwanted. Yet you're surrounded by people who love and support you, who'd stick with you to the end. But right now, you don't give two fucks about them because you're too busy panicking about some girl from high school."

I lift my head again, putting one hand on the desk and the other on my hip, "Well, congratulations, Juju. Sounds like you got me all figured out. Hey, you wanna talk about my Grandpa next?"

She only reacted to that with a scowl. And she spoke again.

"You remember the prom? Do you remember what happened? Do you remember how she didn't do anything to stop Trevor?"

My eyes shifted away, just for a second. "She told him to stop."

"Which did nothing."

I wanted to argue how she was unfair. How it was so wrong to blame Blair for the prom incident. But I was distracted by a burning smell. Only now did I notice the onions and peppers blackening.

I quickly moved the saucepan off the heat, feeling it only radiating in my own face. I put a hand on the counter, the other on my hip. "OK, Juju, maybe you should leave."

It was safe to say Jujubee was taken aback. She remained still for a second before pushing her stool out. "So that's how it is? Kicking me out when you're faced with the truth?"

"Juju, just leave, please." I felt my hands clench around the edge of the counter, my nails digging into my hip.

"I am!" She grabbed her coat and stormed from the kitchen. I flinched upon hearing the door slam shut, and only then did it sink in - the dread, the feeling of regret.

I looked at the hob, the burnt vegetables unsavable. So they went in the trash. My stomach grumbled. But I couldn't bring myself to start over again.

Opening my fridge, my eyes were immediately on the cake. And I glanced over my shoulder, looking where she had sat, now feeling a sense of emptiness. Not in me, but the room. Like I was alone.

I was alone.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." I repeated as my hand clenched on the door. The cool air from the fridge felt nice but not enough to stop my panic.

I looked at the cake again, feeling the urge to throw it out the window. Or maybe just send it back to her.

Bitchy, I know. But I couldn't help it. I wouldn't be feeling like this if she hadn't acted the way she did.

I slammed the door shut, kicking it for extra measure. And in my heels, I almost tripped.

Filled with more anger, I paced around for a few minutes, aggressively cussing to myself.

Don't get me wrong, one part of me said she was right about Blair.

No. She isn't. I was going to prove Jujubee wrong.

I picked up my phone from the counter, found the message and began to type with trembling fingers.

"Blair…" I panted, "So sorry...for getting back to you so late... I'm a busy woman, as you...probably already know...Look... I'm just gonna say it...I really like you...I always have...You make me feel so confused...yet so happy at the same time...I feel a connection between us...I always have...I don't know whether you ever felt it or not...but I do hope so...I would love to meet up with you sometime soon...and maybe have a coffee...I don't know...maybe even some wine, if you want. I look forward to hearing back. Brie x"

My thumb hovered over the send button. The only sound I could hear was the ticking of the clock. Not even my own breathing.

I pulled my thumb away, closed my eyes and breathed out. "Brie. You sound fucking crazy. You sound insane. You can't just send shit like that." I repeated words of the same nature to myself, trying to usher myself off the edge before I could do something idiotic.

"Jesus Christ." I opened my eyes again, which were now glossy with tears. I wouldn't blink. I wouldn't let them fall.

Big mistake.

I thought I tapped the chat bar, going to delete the message. But my blurred vision said, "haha, no."

I tapped the button next to the chat bar. The send button.

The little noise my phone made as it was sent may as well have been the same as a gun clicking.

"Oh, God." My eyes couldn't tear away from the small screen. My heart rate increased. "No, no, no, you fucking idiot!" I pressed my thumb down on the message.

There was a delete option.

I clicked it.

'Are you sure? The recipient may have already seen the message.'

I backspaced to check.

There it was, the tiny version of her profile picture falling to the bottom of the screen. She was reading it.

"Fuck!!" I blurted.

I put the phone down on the counter, began pacing for a moment, and looked back at the phone. This went on for a few minutes. I wanted to be as far from my phone as possible. But also needed to know if she had replied.

This was it.

Blair was going to know how I was weirdly obsessed with her.

She was going to know I was checking her out in the library that one time.

She was going to know that I had fingered myself so many times at the thought of her.

What were my options?

Suicide - Not gonna happen.

Running away - But the project.

Reply with 'Hey, sorry! My friend took my phone, haha' - did anyone ever believe that excuse?

Block her before she could reply - then she'd think I was even more crazy.

Call up her place of work and somehow get her phone confiscated - why, though? That would involve Facebook stalking her again, trying to think of an excuse. Even if I did so successfully, she still saw the message.

All of the options just lead to cons. It was hopeless.

With shaky fingers, I switched my phone off and practically threw it onto the counter.

My body sank to the ground, now holding my head in my hands.

What do I do? What do I fucking do?

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

2004

I was shaking. Only slightly.

There was something about the prom that made me feel so on edge.

Maybe it was all the people, all together in one room.

Perhaps it was the fact the chess boys asked to make out.

Or perhaps it was the fear of missed opportunities. Opportunities that involved a certain someone.

I watched from the side of the room as Blair took pictures with her friends on her pink digital camera. There was a feeling of regret causing my stomach to twist, my fists clenching onto my purple dress.

That could have been me.

I felt a hand moving a curled lock of hair from my shoulder.

"Just think, girl; we're almost there," Jujubee appeared in front of my vision, "College is just around the corner."

"I can't wait to be out of here," I spoke quietly.

Everyone turned their attention to the stage as Rosé appeared, announcing it was time to crown Prom King and Queen.

"Well, it's pretty obvious who our queen is." Jujubee crossed her arms.

I knew who she was thinking of. To be fair, it was pretty obvious. But I wasn't complaining.

Trevor was our Prom King, not my King anyway. I scoffed as he cheered, being pushed up to the stage by his team.

"Jesus Christ, who would have thought." Jujubee took a sip of her punch, spilling a drop on her lilac puffy-sleeved dress.

"And your Prom Queen is…" Rosé paused, pulling the result from the envelope.

3...2...1…

"Blair St Clair!"

I smiled for the first time since walking into the place. I applauded her victory as she walked up onto the stage.

Blair hugged Rosé and whispered something in her ear. I had no idea what it was, but I was too distracted as Trevor just stared.

"You wanna make a speech, girl?" Rosé joked into the mic.

Blair laughed, covering her face with embarrassment. She turned down the offer.

"OK. Everybody," Rosé held a hand to Blair and Trevor, "You're King and Queen of 2004."

Blair looked slightly uncomfortable as Trevor put an arm around her waist. Why couldn't he get the hint she was done with him?

The two got down from the stage, Trevor's gaze following her in confusion as she moved far away from him.

"Aren't they supposed to do a dance now?" Jujubee asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know, Juju. I've only seen proms in movies, and they're quite obviously exaggerated."

My eyes landed on Blair once more. Trevor was whispering something in her ear, and she shook her head, rolled her eyes and walked away. Yikes, he was desperate.

"Jesus, I'm fucking nervous." Rosé was approaching us now, well, the punch table we stood beside. "Getting up on stage gets my body shaking, you know?"

"Wish I could do that." Jujubee replied.

"Yeah, well, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do." Rosé replied.

I eyed her suspiciously. This was odd; she'd never really spoken to us before.

"But of course," she looked left, then right, before pulling a flask from her bra and pouring it into a cup, "this helps. You ladies want one?"

"Nah, I'm good," Jujubee made a stank face.

Me, on the other hand, having never drank alcohol in my life, piped up, "Actually, yeah. Could you just pour me a shot of whatever that is?"

"Yeah, of course," and she didn't lie. She poured me a shot of vodka. No spitting in the cup, no adding anything sneakily, no hostility.

She passed the cup to me, giving a mischievous wink.

Tossing it back, I was totally shocked by the burning sensation it caused to my throat. I began to cough and splutter.

"Girl, chill out, or you're gonna draw attention to yourself." Rosé looked around.

I placed the cup down on the table, the plastic practically crumbling in my hand.

"This is it. The beginning," Jujubee joked, dabbing the corner of my mouth with her pinky. I didn't even know there was a drop of liquid there.

And I didn't know there was a hair out of place either. Because she was stroking a soft hand down my temple to my cheek.

"Brie, do - -"

"Juju, I'm gonna ask her to dance with me," I said all too loud.

The hand dropped instantaneously, her smile falling in a matter of seconds. Of course, I expected this shocked reaction. Even Rosé had nearly choked on her drink.

"For real?" Jujubee asked after a silent moment.

"Yep," I answered proudly, putting my hands on my hips.

"I guess you've never touched a drop of alcohol in your life, loser." Rosé leaned close to me.

"Something like that." I felt slightly uncomfortable now that she was dangerously close to me.

She snorted a laugh, holding up her hands as she walked away, "I'm not responsible for this."

So this was what they called liquid courage. Yeah, it was one shot, but it was my very first. And I was already feeling it. The buzz.

I turned to make my way to the girl I loved when Jujubee grabbed my hand, "Brie, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Yes," I replied too quickly, tugging to pull away.

"Are you sure?" Her brows knit, "You're not gonna be upset if she says no, right?"

One final strong tug was enough to release her grip on me, "No, Juju. I'll be fine, just...stop questioning me, OK?"

She was silent, her arms dropping by her side.

But I continued on in my mission, vision slightly blurred, insides warmed.

Everyone around us was gone like they had just stepped into another world, leaving Blair and me in this reality. Or maybe it was the two of us who disappeared, somehow falling into the wormhole and ending up in the other world.

Or maybe it was just liquid courage.

There were only a few metres between us now. "Blair?"

She had been taking a sip of her coke when she looked up and noticed me. Wiping the corners of her mouth, she put the can down.

"Brianna!" She beamed. Her eyes looked me up and down, causing a brief moment of panic, "wow, look at you. You look great."

"Yeah, right, compared to you." I stifled a laugh.

"Oh, shut up." She smirked.

"So, um…" I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, looking away and to the ground, "I was just...wondering...if you'd wanna dance with me?"

I didn't lift my gaze. Only now did I understand what Jujubee meant. The girl hadn't even said no yet, and my heart was already sinking.

"It's just...this song is so good, and it's the end of the year, and we may not - -"

Before I could continue rambling, she cut me off.

"Sure. Yeah, I'll dance with you."

I lift my gaze to see her glittering smile. Like in the library, time didn't feel real anymore, and I needed to remind myself to breathe. "Really?"

"Yeah, of course." She briefly knit her brows like it shouldn't have been questioned. She took my hand in her perfect french manicured one, "Come on."

As we made our way to the dance floor, I was only now reminded that there were people here. So, we didn't slip through a wormhole. This was real. This was reality.

Blair found a spot on the floor, turned to me and wrapped her arms around the back of my neck.

For a moment, I was unsure of where to put my hands. I glanced over her shoulder, noting the couple also slow dancing. She has her arms around his neck. He had his arms around her waist.

I was hesitant at first but eventually gave in. Blair didn't mind. And I felt myself relax.

She just stared at me, the sweet smile still on her face. The music echoed around us. The lights were low. Pink tinted.

"So, how does it feel winning Prom Queen?" I asked. Of course, it felt amazing for her, but I needed to find an excuse to speak. Anything to avoid the somersaults my stomach was doing.

"I mean, it's nice, I guess. But, it's all bullshit anyway?" Her smile faltered, "Not something anyone in the future will give a fuck about, right?"

I disagreed. If I were to win prom queen, I would feel validated. And I would make sure I'd bring it up to everyone I ever met. Pathetic, I know.

"Well, I can't think of anybody better," I admitted. "Maybe they could have chosen a better King."

"Agreed." She nodded. "You know, literally just now, he tried to use this whole King and Queen thing to 'try again'. Not even that long before you came up to me. Brianna, I've already given him another chance. And he blew it."

"During the Summer?" I recalled.

"Yep." She pursed her lips.

"What did he do, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh, he just had some major anger problems," her eyes widened for a moment, "He never hurt me, though. He just...got so angry over the dumbest shit. It was just too much."

She puffed out a breath, the frown on her face appearing.

"You don't have to tell me any more," I said quickly.

"Sorry, I don't wanna get emotional." She looked back at me. "It's just... it's hard not to. You're a good listener."

How should I have felt knowing that was her analysis of me from very little time spent together? She really trusted me. "Blair... I'm sorry about that time in the library. When you mentioned my Grandpa. I feel terrible now."

"Please, don't. You were grieving."

'Was I really though?' I held back from saying.

"I never really had a Dad," I smiled, seeing his stupid smile in my head, "But he was the closest equivalent to that."

"I know what you mean." She began, "My Dad…" she trailed off for a moment, "He wasn't the best. You probably remember that one time I ran away as a kid. When you walked me to my Grandma's."

I wasn't even tense in the first place, but my body felt like it relaxed. "You remember that?"

"Of course I do. It really meant a lot, Brie." Her thumb stroked the back of my neck. I don't know if she did this intentionally or subconsciously. Was she even thinking about it? "That day, I never went back. Ever. My Grandparents took full custody of me, and they became my second parents. The ones I always deserved."

I felt my body relax even more like this was normal. "Blair, I wanna carry on something my Grandpa started."

"What's that?"

"It sounds crazy," I pause, "But he wants me to find a parallel universe."

I paused to take in her reaction. She did look taken aback for a moment. Could you blame her? "Is it even possible?"

"I mean, at first I thought he was a bit out there asking me something like that, on his deathbed and all. But I've been studying really hard, and I think it's achievable."

"That's interesting." She nodded. "So, what are you gonna do at college?"

"Drugs." I giggled before the smile dropped, "OK, not funny. Bad joke."

"I'm laughing, though." She was.

"Um, no. I'm gonna do Astronomy and Space science."

"I didn't know that was a major you could do," Blair replied.

"Me neither. What about you, though? Something in theatre?"

Blair lowered her gaze for a brief moment, "I dunno, Brie. I honestly don't see college as a me-thing. I'm constantly torn between theatre, fashion merchandising, cosmetology, politics..."

"Politics?" I laughed and instantly hoped she didn't take offence to that.

"What?" She smirked. "What's funny?"

"I just…" I paused, feeling my heart skip a beat as a particular memory came back. "This is crazy. I can't believe I remember this. All I can think about right now is the day we met. Remember the first day of elementary? On the bus? I told you I wanted to be a politician when I was older, just 'cause they liked to shout a lot. And you couldn't say the word right."

"Oh fuck, now that you mention it, I do remember." Blair laughed, "That was such a long time ago. We were so little." She looked away as if her mind had transported her to that moment. Did she remember it like I did? Did she remember how she held my hand and told me she was my friend?

And then never sat with me ever again?

My eyes had drifted away, looking over her shoulder at nothing in particular. The bad thoughts were taking over. I didn't want them to. I wanted to enjoy this moment forever. Just swaying back and forth with Blair in the middle of the dance floor.

She stroked her thumb on the back of my neck again, causing a spark to course through me.

Blair's looking at me again. "Brianna, how come we never talked more?"

I don't know if it was just me fantasising again, but her face was moving closer to mine, ever so slowly.

I had the answer to her question. But it couldn't ruin this moment. "I don't know," I whispered.

She was closer now, head tilted to the left.

And I found myself doing the same.

This was another fantasy. This isn't real.

I felt her breath on the corner of my mouth.

It felt real.

It was.

There was a frustrated roar.

A tight fist clenched around my arm.

I was pulled back forcefully.

My feet gave way.

I was on the ground.

"Are you kidding me??" Trevor stood in front of Blair, his face red with anger, "You won't fucking dance with me, but you'll dance with her??"

Everyone around us was just standing there, too shocked to do something.

"Trevor, what the fuck??" Blair went to move around him, trying to get to me. He only pushed her back.

"Of all the people, why her??" He grilled Blair with more questions. She looked afraid now.

Why the fuck wasn't anyone doing anything??

I felt a hand on my shoulder, but looking around, I saw it was actually Rosé. "Trevor, what the fuck??"

He turned to look as if offended that anyone else got involved. How could they not? Seeing her helping me stand must hit a nerve. Because he's snatched a cup of punch from a bystander, "Why are you defending the dyke??" And he threw the cup forward, the liquid drenching my hair and splattering my dress.

That was the final straw. I could feel my chest heaving.

I ran to the nearest exit. Running from the school. As soon as I felt the cool air on my skin, I wrapped my arms around my stomach. I was bent over, throwing up all the panic. Sparks of the bile dotted the bottom of my dress and shoes. I didn't care. My dress was already ruined.

I heard the door open behind me and immediately began to move again.

I tried to run, but the heels made it hard.

The person was in front of me now, hands on my face, tears streaking her face.

I expected it to be Blair.

But it was Jujubee.

"Brie, it's alright. I punched him for you." She whimpered, her hands on either side of my face, holding me tenderly.

My breathing was rugged, trying so hard to listen to her reassuring whispers. But in my head was the sound of the crowd gasping and Trevor shouting.

No one was going to forget about this. I'd be reminded by the stares in the corridors, how they'd whisper to each other.

"Let's go to my house. You can stay over if you want." Jujubee's sweet voice brought me out of my thoughts.

Words still failing to surface, I nodded.

As soon as we got in, she ran me a hot bath. Whilst I cleaned myself of the sticky punch that covered my hair and face, she made chocolate mug cakes with ice cream.

Sitting there in her room, dressed in her fluffy pyjamas, eating her food, I should have felt better. I should have been happy. But I just stared at the mug in my hand, still thinking of Trevor's anger and Blair's distressed face.

Jujubee took the mug from me, set it aside along with her own, and enveloped me in a hug. "Don't cry, Bri. Please, don't cry."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know I was crying." I wept.

"Don't apologise." She shushed me, "It's OK. You're OK."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

2020

And even now, I didn't realise I was crying again. And as it was too late to stop myself, I remembered sobbing into Jujubee's shoulder, holding her tightly, like she was the only one who could get me through it. She was the only one who could get me through it.

The events of the prom left me scared, always so on edge when walking those school corridors. Just terrified that Trevor would round the corner and do something worse.

But Jujubee was there for me every time. She'd hold my hand, not giving a fuck about who looked at us weird.

I know I should have grown a backbone and defended myself, and what had actually happened shouldn't have been as damaging as it was. But, hey, I was only human.

Jujubee got in a lot of trouble for punching Trevor in the face. But she didn't mind. "Just as long as he got what was coming to him," she had said.

Hearing her retell the event, I wish I had been there. She had jumped on him, tackling him to the ground and punched him over and over again.

But as exciting as that all was, I didn't speak to Blair again. I didn't think about her. I didn't talk about her. I didn't even look at her. Blair wasn't the one to come after me that night. She never even approached me to talk about it. She didn't give a fuck.

So I kept my distance.

And just as life went on without her, she just had to go and message me. After years of silence, she couldn't have left well enough alone.

I finally lifted my head. I reached up and grabbed my phone. Turning it back on, I immediately deleted Messenger, hoping to never see Blair's response.

This would be the beginning of my journey toward happiness.

Yeah. That was it. That's what I would do.

#rpdr fanfiction #s10 #as5 #miz cracker #jujubee #blair st clair #blair x cracker #coming of age #hurt/comfort #lesbian au #high school au #angst #gimme love #grinder #tw homophobic slurs #tw homophobia

[audrinahq]

AUDRINA CHOI from GLENDALE UNIVERSITY! the TWENTY FOUR year old JENNIE KIM lookalike is most known for being SELF ASSURED and GENEROUS. but they can also be ARROGANT and CALLOUS. the GENDERQUEER always reminds me of JUMPING FENCES TO GET AWAY, VODKA IN A WATERBOTTLE, AN OLD LEATHER JACKET TAKEN FROM YOUR MOM'S CLOSET. that’s probably why they currently have CANDY BY MGK on repeat. with THEM around, this school year is bound to be interesting.

♡     ───   basics

full name: audrina choi nicknake(s): audrey, rina age: twenty four birthday: january ninth sexual orientation: [redacted] relationship status: unknown, assumed single occupation: heiress, student, model

♡     ───   background

place of birth: seoul, south korea hometown: upper east side, manhattan, new york education: graduated from constance billard school for girls, currently attending glendale university

♡     ───   physical

faceclaim: jennie kim eye color: dark brown hair color: black height: 5′1 

♡     ───   relatives

biological parents: choi myung-dae (father) & choi chi-yon (mother) adoptive guardians: viktor trimme & anika kuhn siblings: none, only child pets: casper, an orange cat & bandit, a german shepherd

♡     ───   biography / personality

when it comes to audrina’s adoption and their parents, there is no scandal- much to the disapintment of new york city. instead of being raised in south korea, audrina’s birth parents made the decision to give them up for adoption. it was an open adoption and audrina grew up with their birth parents as close family friends and their guardians, viktor and anika. viktor and anika were unable to have biological children of their own and after adopting audrina, they started a foundation meant to help in the adoption process for parents struggling. 

it’s not as if audrina is hiding their sexuality. yhey just love having that part of their life hidden from the media and prying eyes. very careful not to be spotted, audrina has become the master at hiding their personal life from not only page 6 but gossip girl as well. it’s become a big speculation if they’re dating anyone at all and who is might be. anyone spotted with them is subject to the “are they dating” questions before it’s clear that whomever it is, is not audrina’s partner. 

audrina is the person you want with you when things get complicated. they have a knack for either talking their way out of anything and when words don’t work, money sure does. most of the time the reason someone is in trouble is audrina’s fault but they don’t leave a friend behind. they do, however, leave pawns behind. “pawns are meant to be sacrificed for the queen to win.” high school it was clear they thought themself the queen bee of constance billard. it seems in college that mentality hasn’t died away but no longer are they making it known they want to be on top. not as obvious, at least.

audrina is a very “love them and leave them” type of person. commitment is a nasty word when it comes to relationships. rumor has it their best friend has a reward for the first person to get them to say ‘i love you’. 

♡     ───   in character questionnaire 

Parents names and occupations? Are they still together? Still alive?

“which set of parents are you talking about? myung-dae and chi-yon are owners of a ramyeon shop in korea. viktor is a criminal defense attorney and anika is a plastic surgeon. they’re all still alive.”

Where did you grow up?

“in the upper east side. manhattan. fifth avenue, to be specific.” 

Relationship Status?

“wouldn’t you like to know? next question.”

What is your major?

“education. and no, i don’t want to be a teacher but i need a background in education so i can sit on school boards and reform the education system.”

Sexuality? 

“you won’t get that answer from me. stop trying.”

Do you have a job?

“what? being a student isn’t good enough? i do some modelling as a hobby. i don’t need to work.”

Do you dorm at school? Have an apartment?

“i live in the same apartment i always have. i lived in the dorms for freshman year- it was required, and then moved out the second i could. community living isn’t for me.”

Hobbies?

“aside from modeling, i like reading. i’m into fashion- what upper east side kid isnt? oh- dancing and art too. recently took up taekwondo.”

If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

“tiny but mighty? no. uh- probably something to do with how i would kick your ass. i don’t know, i’m not that clever.”

What have you been up to over the summer?

“you know that better than i do. seem like a gossip girl reader. ask her, sure she knows.”

Last image taken on your cell phone?

Last text you received?

“next question.”

Where were you the night the fight broke out?

“korea, i was working.”

♡     ───   character inspirations 

blair waldorf

jenny humphrey

narcissa malfoy

harley quinn

ingui "queen" yoon

klaus mikaelson

caroline forbes

rebekah mikaelson

♡     ───   wanted connections

sex money feelings dies ( open ) - think of exes but make it a one night stand but on top of that a frequent hook up. every time you say that won’t hook up with each other again. it’s not healthy, you both want past the relationship and let it go, but the moment y’all see each other from across the bar or at a party you just know you’ll end up in each other’s bed again

i saw you in a dream ( nadine alston ) - you guys were close. so close. thought there would never be a time you guys wouldn’t talk, but one thing lead to another and you’re left thinking about them when it’s just you and your thoughts. without them your life really hasn’t been the same, but is it worth getting past what happened to pick up the phone and call them?

painkiller ( juliana “jules” santos ) - best friends forever. literally. this person knows you inside out and you can’t see a day without them. they’re essentially your painkiller. you tell them everything and them back to you. they can tell if you’re feeling down just by the way you send your snapchat streaks that morning. you can’t see a day without them.

call your girlfriend ( open ) - this one is pretty messy. your muse is in a relationship, but there’s a huge flirtationship between these two. the flirtationship essentially becomes to both of these people attached to each other and maybe... even in love. but there’s still that relationship that’s in the way... YIKES

perfect places ( noah evans ) - party buddies but make it you guys just getting lost in the vibes because you don’t want to deal with life. it’s a good friendship. you guys get the thoughts in your head to go numb, but at a point it’s like what’s the point ?

femme fatale ( jared callahan ) - one muse is a huge fool for the other. they’re head over heels for them but they’re just playing around with the other’s feelings because hey ! it’s fun ! all of their friends tell them to ‘ just leave it you’re gonna get hurt ’, but they just continue to be boo boo the fool 

ex affair ( open ) - basically your muse was the cheater and audrina the other woman but it ended for whatever reason.

family friends ( luca cartwright ) - friends who met through family, could either be close or it be an awkward situation because they don't really get along or know each other well.

squad goals ( tatiana “tati” reyes , juliana “jules” santos , open ) - just a close knit group of friends. the group chat is always going off with someone’s dramatics, one or more of the squad constantly featured together in social media and the press. one or more or all of them constantly sleeping over at audrina’s place. doesn’t matter the university, these friends have been ride or die since childhood at least.

♡     ───   wanted connections

these can be used in any direction the “you” does not mean your muse from the point of view from audrina, it can go either direction. i just like the #aesthetic of writing it this way. 

001. open. you pulled away from me, so i pulled away from you. i pulled away when you hurt me. you pulled away when the world hurt you. and now we are both pulled away during a time when we are supposed to be pulled together. at some point i needed to put it all behind me. forget about you. forget about the way you made me wonder. and what we could have been. because it never happened, and it always got later, morning always turned into nights and the day was eventually over and nothing had changed. but it doesn’t mean that i don’t feel a damn thing, i do still feel a hole in my heart when they talk about you, i do still want to scream when i hear you have another life with someone else, i do still want to feel your kiss on my skin. and i do still love you.

002. open. we have no idea what personal boundaries are and yeah we’ve made out before a lot and yeah it was ok but we’re friends ok friends and why are you staring at me like that? why are you holding my hand always? why are you telling me how much you adore me? oh we’re not dating? oh you’ve been in love with me for years and i’m a doorknob and now things are awkward and i don’t know what to do to fix it.

003. open. i confessed i might be in love with and you said you weren’t interested in dating me because we’re just friends and i’m getting over that heartbreak but you show up on my doorstep and kiss me and we end up in bed and in the morning you tell me this was a mistake and before i can stop you, you leave. you show up again. lather rinse repeat. it’s not good for either of us but we keep doing it.

004. open. we tried the whole dating thing and it didn’t work out and we’ve moved beyond that. you’re my go-to friend on anything and everything and any problem you got i will fucking mow down hell to fix. wow your smile just lights up my world and please don’t be sad. who made you sad i will throw them in hell and mow them down and – oh wow. i never got over you. you’re my fucking world and i just want you to be happy but you can only see me as a friend because when you look at me you see our failed relationship but i’m not the same person i swear.

005. open. we’ve been best friends since we were kids, grew up next to each other and even though we aren’t from the same family we get confused for siblings a lot when we were younger. we’re older now and people keep thinking we’re dating but it’s not like that, we’re just extremely close. oh hey, you’re at my house more often than your own cause i don’t like to be alone at night and the neighbors think we’re together or having an affair and it’s funny to laugh about at dinners and we always get each other valentine’s presents since we were kids and you’re the first person i call when anything happens in my life. what? no, i’m not in love with them, they’re just my best friend.

006. open. “hey, open your front door. i’m here with chips, pizza, ice cream, and your favorite pastries. yes, i know it’s like 3am but i’m your best friend and i know you’re sad right now and i am here to comfort you.”

007. open. you’re not my ex anything. you were a passing moment, an almost a maybe one day we’ll be something but one day never came, you passed by and ‘almost’ didn’t happen. and yet it feels like something did because i know your favorite songs, what you think about late at night and how beautiful you thought i was. and i know you knew even more about me. our story was like an acute angle, a meeting point and then off in different directions. so close and then farther and farther away. we were an almost, maybe, someday.

008. open. tell me where we went wrong because it’s still not clear to me. there are still questions left unanswered and they’re killing me. tell me why we end up here, i thought we’d last a little bit longer. tell me what happened, why all of a sudden you decided to live without me. you just left. tell me how far should i walk away from you because i can’t turn away on my own. i’ve tried my best to let go but my life keeps coming back to you. i’ve tried to walk alone but i keep on looking back, hoping that every time that i turn, you’re there walking with me. tell me when to stop loving you because i don’t know how to stop this feeling.

009. open. if you’re alone, i’ll be your shadow. if you want to cry, i’ll be your shoulder. if you want a hug, i’ll be your pillow. if you need to be happy, i’ll be your smile… but anytime you need a friend, i’ll just be me.

010. open. things were great for a while before suddenly they weren’t. commitment doesn’t look good on you or me and now everything ends in a fight. you pushed me away so i pushed you away harder, the distance became catastrophic and the relationship imploded. hearts were shattered in the process and now you just bring back too many memories of what it felt like to be happy and to be in love so i just ignore you cause it feels easier than facing the truth that i miss you.

#« 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫. 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲 : audrina c. »

[nightwingshero]

😊😱🤗💕 I'm throwing this right back at you for Blair, Amikel, Veronica, and Gabriel!! Love you!!

Thank you, love!!!! Love you too! 💓😘 Sorry it took me so long!!! Gabriel and Veronica really made me think...(actually a few of them did.)

😊 - something that makes your character smile?

Blair: Honestly, it’s rather easy to make her smile. Bringing her a fresh cup of coffee is a good way to go. She’s always up for one and those who know her, know her coffee order like the back of their hand. And it’s usually H.R. Wells, Cisco, or Caitlin that’s grabbing her some. Iris will when she’s around (or needs help on something she’s working on--bribes are sometimes legal, okay?), or Barry will be thoughtful and grab one if he knows he’s going to see her. Being around Leonard and Mick makes her smile too, she’s grown fond of those guys.

Amikel: Can you guess? Alcohol! That’s right, that girl smiles when yo bring her a good bottle or glass, because that means you’re trying to be in her good graces, and she can never say no to a free bottle of booze. Grogu doing shenanigans is also a thing that makes her smile, because it’s so damn amusing to her. She’s a bad influence. I’m not sure who makes Din sigh more.

Veronica: Music and stealing. There are a few things, but hanging out with friends is a go-to. She enjoys her time with Dick and Jason at the manor when she’s younger (and older, let’s be honest here). Alice also amuses the hell out of her, because she’s not at all like Harley, and it’s just...V can’t help but be mildly amused. Something that really did make her smile was helping Jason work on his bike in the Cave. Dick trying to make her smile with his light teasing will do it too, no matter how hard she fights it. 

Gabriel: Playing on his guitar or going for drives(either in his Mustang or on his bike.) He smiles slightly to himself when he does that, especially if he’s alone or thinks no one is looking. He does little light chuckle and small smirk thing, and then looks down at his feet when someone makes a joke or says something he just finds funny. But seeing other people smile usually does it, especially if he really cares about that person. 

😱 - something that makes your character afraid?

Blair: It terrifies the hell out of her when the people close to her are in immediate and serious danger, where their lives are very much in the balance. Her losing control of her powers scares her too, because she can become the very thing that hurts, or even kills, her friends. Both of those things have kept her up at night, mostly because she’s witnessed them firsthand. And let me just tell you, Blair doesn’t handle either of those things very well.

Amikel: At first, despite finding it a bit amusing, it’s Grogu’s gift or powers. It’s easy to assume Amikel is nothing but a washed up bounty hunter/assassin who drinks constantly...but she’s a smart person, calculating, and she doesn’t know what it is; she just knows that it’s got to be something bigger. And that terrifies her. Bigger means more trouble, and the last thing she wants is more trouble for herself, Din, or Grogu. Later of course, that fear only grows as they learn more.

Veronica: She will obviously say she’s not afraid of anything. But honestly, she’s scared that she won’t work past her anger or be any better than where she came from. She loves Selina dearly, and is thankful for everything she’s ever done. But she doesn’t want the Catwoman mantle when that time comes, she doesn’t want to be known as a Rogue, or to be a criminal. Is she an antihero? For most of her teen years and some of her young adult years, yes. But she almost kills Scarecrow...it shook her enough to realize that if she didn’t leave...she was doomed to be nothing but a criminal eventually. Veronica is terrified she won’t overcome that.

Gabriel: So...he’s afraid that all he’ll ever be good at is being a criminal, and once he gets his powers, he’s afraid that he’s also only meant to hurt people. There’s a lowkey belief that if he uses it, that it means that he’s meant for bad things because fire is so destructive...he’s seen that first hand. It’s all he’s good at. And add that to the fear of his sister never accepting him again: whether it’s because of the life of crime he had chosen or the meta powers he had gained. That bridge is burned severely (pun somewhat intended--its late, please don’t judge.) Gabriel worries that there’s no redemption for him (but we all know that Wally won’t let that happen, don’t we?)

🤗 - something that makes your character feel warm and fuzzy?

Blair: Literal fuzzy socks and warm sweaters...I’m not even kidding. You will find her (well, she surely hopes you won’t) in her underwear (pajama bottoms--shorts or pants alike) with a warm sweater and thick fuzzy socks. Most of the time with a cup of coffee or hot cocoa in her hands. But honestly, it’s when Leonard does things to show affection. He has a habit of uh...tapping her nose quickly with the tip of his finger. And that actually started out as something taunting, sarcastic, and somewhat patronizing, because Leonard is Leonard. But it grew to something he’ll do when she’s troubled or too focused on something and frustrated. It’s also words of affirmation. Especially from Leonard, Wells, Martin, Oliver, and Barry. Even Mick, if I’m being honest. It’s a nice reminder that she’s cared for and it always makes her feel good.

Amikel: The moments where Din is being a soft dad with Grogu or when Grogu is being absolutely adorable (when isn’t he, though?) She won’t admit it at all, and she might shoot you (or throw a bottle at your head) if you dare say a word about it. But Amikel hasn’t had family in a long time, that’s the closest thing she’s had and having her childhood friend back? They make her feel like she’s part of a family and is cared for. 

Veronica: There are moments that she gets with Dick when they’re younger where they would just hang out on the rooftops of buildings in Gotham. It was like they were in their own little world back then, it made her feel like she had a friend that understood at least some of what she went through. They would often sit on the edge and eat from one of their favorite pizza spots in Gotham, and every time she passes it, it makes her remember it fondly. So, usually going out for pizza is a go-to with her other friends when she’s older, and she will actually take some pizza and sit on a rooftop on her own, too, on a good night on patrol. 

Gabriel: His mother’s homemade meals and positive reinforcement. He’s definitely rough on the outside, but he’s soft on the inside and appreciates affection from the people close to him. Blair rustling his hair (which he moans about--but secretly likes it) or pulling him into a hug, Mick giving him a rare slap on the shoulder, or anything of that nature will make him feel a bit warm because that’s validation he wants. But celebrating his culture (with or without his family) is something that always makes him feel like a kid again, and if he’s not with his family, it makes it feel like he’s with them anyway. 

💞 - something that makes your character feel loved?

Blair: When people pay attention to the little things. Most people don’t really catch most of the things she rambles about when it comes to her work, sometimes it can be hard to understand, but when people remember little details (even if they don’t understand), it makes her feel they care about her and her passions. Like how Leonard throws in how he’s paying attention or when her parents were always supportive of her scientific endeavors. Even having her science nerd friends get on board and show interest in her work means a lot to her. Actions are a big thing too, because that girl is oblivious at times, but actions speak louder than words (so Leonard can be as smooth and sarcastic as he wants, what she notices is him saving her ass on missions.)

Amikel: It’s really hard to explain, so I hope this comes out making sense, but it’s a bit complicated with her, so bear with me. Obviously you have the moments with Grogu where his attachment to her is apparent--that’s the easy answer. With Din, it’s different, and I know this might sound weird, but its his trust in her and treats her like a partner. Amikel doesn’t have the best reputation, and honestly, she’s not a very trustworthy person with the line of work she usually does. She’s not one to be fully without honor, but she’s also...well, she’s had a bounty on her head once or twice herself. So his trust in her as a partner and to trust her with the kid? Yeah, that hits a certain way.

Veronica: It’s when someone makes her feel seen. Veronica is perceived as a lot of things, some true, some not so much. There’s more to her than that, though, and it’s overseen, or she hides it more often than not. So when someone sees her despite all of that? It makes her heart race. And let me tell you, Dick Grayson sees right through her and always has (listen, he’s a damn good detective, alright? Give the boy some credit.) It makes her feel vulnerable, but in a good way when it’s with someone she trusts and loves in return, bot from friends and significant others. Alice and others making it a thing where they

Gabriel: He’s a pretty affectionate person past the hard exterior, so kisses on his cheek or forehead, and hugs (any of these could be platonic or romantic) are something that really hits him in the feels. But it’s when you make him feel...like something more, and you show that you’re not ashamed of him. It makes him feel truly loved when people can look past the criminal piece (because boy is trying to turn a new leaf--to show he’s more than the self destructive nature he’s seen as) and see him as someone worth something. Someone that cares for him for who he is and doesn’t try to make him be something he’s not, and just being there for him and believing in him. As for the affectionate piece, he loves it when you show it openly, unafraid of expressing that you care about him, despite what others feel (he’s got a bit of a rep for you know...being a criminal: thief, arsonist, hired muscle, and he dabbles in illegal street racing...he has a resume apparently...)

#oc: blair chambers #oc: amikel winmar #oc: veronica sterling #oc: gabriel ramirez #my oc #arrowverse #batman #dc #the mandalorian #asks

[eldritchsurveys]

768.

Why did you last feel like crying? >> When I checked my bank account because I was trying to decide whether to get HBO Max or not, and I discovered that my stimulus check is coming on Wednesday. I’m just really relieved, lmao. Had just about resorted to convincing myself that I wasn’t going to get one at all. But now I can get some stuff I need but can’t normally afford!

How long ago and why did you last feel infuriated? >> I don’t remember. It probably had to do with people making noise.

Do emotions control you or do you control your emotions? >> Er. Well, here’s the thing -- on a good day, when I’m not having Symptoms Of Disorders, my emotions can be pretty manageable, or at least my management of them can feel pretty competent and compassionate. On the other days, my emotions can be a fucking game of Minesweeper where all the squares have mines in them. Except one. One square has 100 mines in it. The probability of stepping on that square is like 80%. So.

Do you keep your friends secrets/private information to yourself? >> Well, yes, if that sort of thing was shared with me.

What negative quality do your friends bring up the most? >> I... don’t think I’d like to be friends with people who have a habit of bringing up “negative” things about me.

What quality do you think you have that others don't think you do? >> I don’t know, I haven’t taken a poll or anything.

Do you often "jump" to conclusions? >> I mean, maybe. I don’t know how often I do it but it’s probably the average amount.

Do you find being alone with strangers scary, interesting or indifferent? >> That definitely depends on the context of the situation.

Do you think you know a lot about the world? >> No, because I don’t.

What about the world do you wish you never found out? >> ---

Do you know first aid? >> Not really, mostly because I’ve rarely had an opportunity to practice it.

Does the sight of blood make you feel sick? >> Not as a rule.

Does your first name have an L in it? >> No.

Middle name have a C in it? >> No.

Last name have a R in it? >> No.

Do your initials spell a legitimate word? If so, what? >> No, they don’t. But Sparrow’s spells “SAD” and that’s pretty funny.

The word above, does it have any connection to you at all? >> I mean, she is on antidepressants.

Do you prefer classic rock or nope alternative? >> Nope alternative???? I don’t know if that’s a typo or what but that’s hilarious to me for some reason. Anyway, I listen to both classic rock and alternative.

Do you like Kings of Leon? >> Sure. They’re, like... motel-grunge/motel-rock adjacent. (I can’t be the only person who’s made up that term, for certain kinds of bands. Like Queens of the Stone Age and shit. Sometimes Kings of Leon gives the same vibe, but... cleaner, I guess.)

How about The Script? >> Never heard of them.

Does crying make you feel better? >> Sometimes, but first I have to go through the hell of letting myself cry in the first place.

Do you know a girl called Becca? >> No.

How about a guy called Gregory? >> No. I almost said yes and then I realised I was thinking of Greg Hirsch from Succession. smh

Does someones background effect whether you'll be friends with them or not? >> Their... background? What kind of background are we talking about here?

How about their religious background? >> I mean, I don’t think I could be friends with a fundamentalist evangelical Christian. But most non-fundie versions of religions are okay with me.

If someone admitted cheating in a past relationship of theirs, would you trust them? >> ---

Do you drink tea and/or coffee every day? >> Nope. It’s almost warm weather time, so I won’t be drinking much tea at all until fall, unless it’s iced.

Did you ever want to be a cook as a kid? >> No.

How about a fashion designer? >> Yeah, I used to draw outfits and shit. I still think fashion is a fascinating industry but I want no part of it myself.

Do you wish that magic was real? >> I mean, no, not really. Also, like. I have Inworld. So.

What food would you love to wipe off the face of the earth? >> ---

Can you use a bottle opener? >> Sure.

Do you own a cheese grater? >> Yeah.

What time will it be in 38 minutes time? >> 11.06p EST.

What day/date will it be in 11 days time? >> The 20th of May.

Have you ever owned a pet fish? >> Nope.

Do you prefer fire or ice? >> I have no general preference. They’re both valuable.

Do you rap along with rap songs? >> If I know the lyrics, yeah...

When happy, do you become more talkative? >> Not necessarily. Sometimes I’m happiest in silence.

Bowling or sailing? Why? >> ---

What colour is your kettle? >> Black.

How about your microwave? >> White.

Do you prefer sitting in the front or back of a car? >> It doesn’t matter.

How about in a train? On the bus? >> I have a specific seat I like on the bus. Train, doesn’t matter. (On the subway, I liked sitting in the smallest seats so there’d be less chance of someone sitting next to me. Some of the newer trains have that one-seater that flips up, by the door? Love that seat.

Do you care about politics? >> Fuck no.

Obama or Bush? >> Well, that’s this survey dated.

Blair or Brown? >> ---

When did you last cook something from scratch? >> I don’t remember.

What things make you jealous? >> ---

Are you offended easily by non politically correct language? >> I’m not easily offended, period. Most things I recognise aren’t meant to be taken personally by me, specifically. But obviously I’m leery of the usage of incendiary language -- I’m not going to hang out with someone who throws around racial slurs or mocks people for having feelings about words meant to hurt them, like, duh.

Do you think the censors/fcc go a bit too far or are just right? >> I have no opinion about this, especially not a generalised one.

Do you feel hungry, thirsty, sleepy or none of the above? >> I’m getting tired because it’s around my bedtime.

What's your I.Q? >> ---

What's your Mum's Mum called? How about your Dad's Dad? >> ---

Do you prefer crepes, pancakes or waffles? >> Waffles.

Do you have ice-cream in your fridge right now? >> I think Sparrow still has some in there. Oh, and I still have a few mochi ice cream balls.

How about chicken nuggets? >> No, just fried chicken.

Do you eat fish often? >> Not as often as I’d like.

Have you ever taken a martial art? Which one{s}? >> No.

Do you know anyone who is scared of you? >> I don’t know if anyone’s afraid of me. If someone is, I bet they’re not going to go around telling me about it.

What person who has died would you bring back and why? >> ---

Do you like watermelon? >> Eh. I don’t get the hype.

Can you remember the month of your first kiss? >> ---

Do you make friends easily? >> No.

What makes you different from everyone else? >> Nothing, dude. I mean, I obviously have differences from people I know, or people I might encounter, but not from literally every human on earth.

I give you a piece of paper. What do you draw/write on it? >> ...

What pictures or photos are up in your lounge? >> My what.

Do you like purple and white patterned things? >> Not especially.

Do you know anyone called Pipa? >> No.

I say purple, you think... >> Sparrow, because I think she’d paint the whole world purple if given half a chance.

What do you think is the most interesting thing about you? >> Just, you know. My existence.

Do you like being complimented or does it make you uncomfortable? >> It can make me uncomfortable because of brain shit, but I also appreciate it and will try to express appreciation instead of discomfort.

Does the description of your starsign correspond with your personality? >> No, because the language of astrology as used to describe a person is more complex than just wherever the Sun was when you were born.

Do you have a photo album? >> No.

What artists paintings do you find the most beautiful? >> *shrug*

What about the most disturbing? >> *shrug*

Have you ever gone to a camp or summer school? >> No. I did summer theater once and I’ve gone to day camps.

What was your favourite cartoon as a child? >> Johnny Bravo is the only cartoon I remember watching, tbh. I didn’t get to see a lot of television unless it was the boring ass shit (to a child, anyway) my dad watched.

What was your biggest fear as a child? >> Thunderstorms. Until I hit thirteen and then suddenly I just... wasn’t afraid of them anymore. Don’t ask me how it happened, I really don’t know. (It might have been more gradual than that, of course. Memory is unreliable, especially from that far back.)

Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater? >> Breathe underwater. So, you know, I could actually not almost drown for once.

What about invisibility or mindreading? >> Invisibility. I want nothing to do with other people’s minds.

Do you like what you see in the mirror? >> No, which is why I don’t look in the mirror unless it’s necessary.

Which stereotype do you dislike the most? >> All of them??? Stereotypes in general?

Can you remember all your past teachers names? >> I can remember more than I’d expect to remember, but definitely not all of them.

Do you like talent shows? Which ones? >> No.

Have you ever failed an important exam? In what? >> Yeah, I failed the English midterm and final in 11th grade -- well, I say “failed” but it’s more like “I got a zero because I literally turned in a blank sheet of paper”. I... was definitely struggling.

Do you find people taller than you intimidating? >> No.

Do you think you are better than people of a different country/background? >> Fuck no???

What's your favourite thing about your country? >> Dude.

What's your least favourite thing about your country? >> Sigh.

Who is your favourite bzoinker? >> I don’t have a favourite, I just use bzoink to find surveys.

What websites do you have bookmarked? >> I have a lot of websites bookmarked.

Do you use bows and ribbons to decorate your gifts? >> No. Well, I’ll stick a bow on a Christmas gift because why not, but outside of Christmas I don’t even wrap gifts. I might put it in a bag but that’s it.

Do you listen to the same type of music as your parents? What type is that? >> I grew up listening to soul and R&B and gospel, so yes, that’s all still part of me.

What TV show scared you as a kid? >> None.

Family Guy, The Simpsons or South Park? Why? >> Hmm. Well, I don’t really know anything about The Simpsons, but I’d probably like it better than Family Guy, and South Park is so hit-or-miss (with a lot of misses) for me that I can’t really deal with it anymore.

#surveys #survey #random survey

[lovemesomesurveys]

Why did you last feel like crying? This past weekend I was just extra moody and on the verge of tears.

How long ago and why did you last feel infuriated? I get easily irritated and frustrated, but it’s been awhile since I’ve felt infuriated.

Do emotions control you or do you control your emotions? My emotions got control over me a few years ago and I haven’t been able to gain it back. :/

Do you keep your friends secrets/private information to yourself? Yes.

What negative quality do your friends bring up the most? I wouldn’t want friends who did that. I do that enough myself as it is, I don’t need anyone else pointing out all my negative qualities all the time.

What quality do you think you have that others don’t think you do? I don’t know. I feel like people in my life overestimate my abilities rather than the other way around. I feel a lot of pressure to maintain that illusion. <<< Same in regards to feeling like people overestimate my abilities. Although, in terms of the long list of negative qualities I believe I have, my loved ones would disagree on a lot of them.

Do you often “jump” to conclusions? Yeppp. Always the worst ones, too.

Do you find being alone with strangers scary, interesting or indifferent? It could be scary depending on the situation, but I’d definitely feel anxious and uncomfortable.

Do you think you know a lot about the world? There’s a lot more I don’t know.

Do you know first aid?   No. 

Does the sight of blood make you feel sick? Y Yes. It makes me feel weak. I can’t even look when having blood drawn and getting it done makes me sweaty and weak.

Does your first name have an L in it? Nope.

Middle name have a C in it? Nope.

Last name have a R in it? Yes.

Do your initials spell a legitimate word? If so, what?  Nope. The word above, does it have any connection to you at all? 

Do you prefer classic rock or nope alternative? Nope alternative?

Do you like Kings of Leon? Yeah. I loved when Sex on Fire first came out.

How about The Script? Yes.

Does crying make you feel better? Sometimes.

Do you know a girl called Becca? Nope.

How about a guy called Gregory? No.

Does someones background effect whether you’ll be friends with them or not Uh, well yeah. Like if they have a sketchy background or have done things I’m not comfortable with.

How about their religious background? I’d have a problem with a satanist or if they were involved in a cult.

If someone admitted cheating in a past relationship of theirs, would you trust them? That would likely make things complicated, but I guess it would depend on the situation. Although, you’re likely just getting their side of it and it may not be accurate or they’re leaving things out that paint them in a better light than their ex. It would just really, really depend on the situation and it’d take a lot of communication.

Do you drink tea and/or coffee every day? Coffee, yes.

Did you ever want to be a cook as a kid? No.

How about a fashion designer? No.

Do you wish that magic was real? I mean sure it’d be dope to make something you want appear or happen whenever you want. It could also be tricky, though, and used for the wrong reasons.

What food would you love to wipe off the face of the earth? I’m picky, so there’s a lot of foods I don’t like, but plenty of other people enjoy them so I’m not going to wipe it off the earth just cause I don’t like it.

Can you use a bottle opener? Yeah...

Do you own a cheese grater? Nope.

What time will it be in 38 minutes time? 4:26AM.

What day/date will it be in 11 days time? May 25th. Damn.

Have you ever owned a pet fish? Y Yep. I had a fish tank full of fish as a kid.

Do you prefer fire or ice? Fire in terms of bonfires and in a fireplace for the comfy, coziness of it and I love the smell of it during the fall. I don’t use ice in my drinks, so, not a big fan.

Do you rap along with rap songs? Ha, well my attempt to rap along.

When happy, do you become more talkative? Yeah.

Bowling or sailing? Why? Bowling I guess if I had to pick out of the two. Have no interest in either one, though.

What colour is your kettle? I don’t have one.

How about your microwave? Black.

Do you prefer sitting in the front or back of a car? Front.

How about in a train? On the bus? I’ve always had to sit in the middle on buses cause that’s where the wheelchair spots are.

Do you care about politics? I admit that I really haven’t been following closely these past few years. I used to pay more attention, but I just... can’t. It’s too much.

Obama or Bush?

Blair or Brown?

When did you last cook something from scratch? I don’t cook from scratch. The only cooking I do is packaged ramen.

What things make you jealous? Im rarely jealous. <<< Same. I feel envy more than jealousy.

Do you think the censors/fcc go a bit too far or are just right?  I am confused as to why it’s okay certain curse words but not others. And I really don’t get why in “asshole” just the “hole” part is bleeped out lol. Do you feel hungry, thirsty, sleepy or none of the above?  Right now I’m just sleepy.

What’s your Mum’s Mum called? How about your Dad’s Dad? Lupe/Charles. 

Do you prefer crepes, pancakes or waffles? Waffles and crepes.

Do you have ice-cream in your fridge right now? I think we have some.

How about chicken nuggets? Not chicken nuggets, but my brother has a bag of chicken wings.

Do you eat fish often? Never. I hate seafood. <<<< Saaaame.

Have you ever taken a martial art? Which one{s}? Nope.

Do you know anyone who is scared of you? I can’t imagine anyone being afraid of me, a stick thin, super shy, and awkward af girl. haha.

What person who has died would you bring back and why? I wouldn’t mess around with bring people back from the dead. I believe I’ll see them again one day.

Do you like watermelon? Yeah. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had any, though.

Can you remember the month of your first kiss? October. I remember that because it happened at my high school drama department’s haunted house. 

Do you make friends easily? No. I also don’t try to to be honest.

What makes you different from everyone else? DNA <<< Hahaha welp that most certainly does.

I give you a piece of paper. What do you draw/write on it? I’d do random doodles and write random words in cursive cause that’s what I do when I doodle.

What pictures or photos are up in your lounge? Is that like the living room? If so, we have a few framed photos on the shelves we have.

Do you like purple and white patterned things? Sure.

Do you know anyone called Pipa? No.

I say purple, you think… It’s my mom’s favorite color.

What do you think is the most interesting thing about you? Nothing.

Do you like being complimented or does it make you uncomfortable? They’re nice, I’m just super awkward.

Does the description of your starsign correspond with your personality? Nope. I’m so opposite of how a Leo is described.

Do you have a photo album? Yeah, several old photo albums (physical ones) and several on Facebook and my phone.

What artists paintings do you find the most beautiful? I don’t necessarily go for beauty in art. My favourite painters are Dali, Kandinsky, and Klimt. Weird over beauty for me. <<< That’s how I am. One of my favorites is The Scream by Edvard Munch. I like the melting clocks one by Dali, too.

What about the most disturbing? Hmm. There’s definitely paintings I’ve seen that I thought were disturbing, but of course I can’t think of a specific one at the moment.

Have you ever gone to a camp or summer school? I’ve been to two camps: science camp and Girl Scout camp. I also had to do summer school once in the 6th grade cause I missed a lot of school due to spending months in the hospital and at home after having surgery. I voluntarily took a few summer classes in college.

What was your favourite cartoon as a child? A lot of the stuff that was on Nickelodeon, Disney Channel, PBS, WB Kids, and Saturday morning cartoons on ABC.

What was your biggest fear as a child? Bugs.

Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater? Fly.

What about invisibility or mindreading? Invisibility.

Do you like what you see in the mirror? Nopeee.

Can you remember all your past teachers names? Not all of them, but a lot of them.

Do you like talent shows? Which ones? I enjoyed when we had talent show assemblies in elementary school. Those were fun.

Have you ever failed an important exam? In what? Yes, in math.

Do you find people taller than you intimidating? Just about everyone is taller than me.

Do you think you are better than people of a different country/background? Wow, absolutely not. I don’t think I’m better than anyone.

What’s your favourite thing about your country? We have our issues and I know other countries make fun of us, but we have a lot of good qualities and I like where I’m from.

Who is your favourite bzoinker? I don’t go on there.

What websites do you have bookmarked? The ones on the toolbar are Google, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, Pinterest, and a couple PDFs from Bible studies.

Do you use bows and ribbons to decorate your gifts? Yeah. I love wrapping presents and making them look all nice and pretty.

Do you listen to the same type of music as your parents? What type is that? We like a lot of the same, yeah. Especially my mom and I.

What TV show scared you as a kid? Are You Afraid of the Dark haha but I also loved to watch it. That intro is what really got me. Oh, and Unsolved Mysteries. That was a show about real life mysteries and murders and such. 

Family Guy, The Simpsons or South Park? Why? Out of the three I’d pick Family Guy, but I’m not into any of them. My family loves Family Guy so I see parts of episodes here and there all the time and I’m familiar with it. Sometimes it’ll give me a little chuckle.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[goldstonegolem64]

Chapter 2 A friend in need Remaster and rewritten because I can

minuets before the crash

Adam Winchester  a inside of the latest model of the Garrison deep space fighter jets with the latest stealth system. His mission was to test of the stealth system to see if it was capable of getting past Mars's stealth cracking satellites that surrounded the planets. This was a suicide mission  because  if the system didn’t work he was most likely going to be torn apart  down by the planets anti-air batters and if he by luck or by godly intervention survive the assault of anti air shells he would have to out  fly a Drone swarm which from what he had seen in the mission debriefing was basically was like watching a bleeding animal fall into a swarm of piranha. But the worst fate out of all of them  would be to get caught behind enemy lines so to the fact that it could spark a full on war between Earth and mar’s and he know that earth even with all the advisements in tech and the size of it’s Army that cleanly out number the Martian population was still no match for the small fleet of extremely advanced ships that made up the Martian war fleet.

But that wasn’t what he was thinking about right now.  What he was thinking about what today was going to be. It would have been his and Shiro first anniversary if they had gotten married that day. If Shiro didn’t chose to go on the Kerberos mission. He remember the two mouths of sleepless nights after the argument that caused them to split. Followed by the crippling emptiness he felt when Shiro had die on that mission. He remember watching the apologue video Shiro had sent him. He remembered coming home to find out Keith was kicked out of  the Garrison after he got into a fight with another cadet after Shiro's death followed by him going missing and no could find him and that just made him fell even emptier. Maybe after this mission he would look for Keith and maybe get him back into the garrison . But those thoughts quickly stopped as a warning signal’s started to Blair as something was coming towards onto his fighter

“ Shit I've have i been found “ Adam said as he tried to fly out of the thing flying toward him only nearly avoiding becoming space dust as a unidentified object flow passed his fire at speed not seen before. But just as he thought he safe. Several small scaled explosion when off near by him  causing him to move out of the way of the line fire only to have the right wing to blow off my an unforeseen shell that was smashed through the wing then exploded when it reached it’   s destination. The blast violently pushed the fighter to the side and he could her Air leaking out of small   cracks in the glass in his cockpit. Adam looked around franticly wondering what to do then he saw the small moon that was phobos. I was a one in a million shot to land with out dying in the crash. But he had to take it. So he pushed the engines to there max and gunned it toward the moon and set out a distress message  toward who’ve was on the moon if there was anyone there and prayed for the best.

After the crash 

Jay slide down the stairway rail when he reacted the bottom of the stairwell he stumbled a little as he hit the ground running toward the garage door they had cam in . As he ran into the garage .Beauregard  came over the commas

“ Captain  I have activated The loader that were left behind to help you and I have jumped back to the Prometheus and i’  m bring it towards the crash sight”

“ Thanks Beau “ Jay said as he entered the airlock as he stood there waiting he wondered if the guy from the message was still a live after the crash. The door then opened and jay ran out and looked around the area and saw a huge dust cloud on the other side of the mining station. Jay booked it towards the crash site. As he ran he felt like someone was watching him. But it didn’t matter to him at the moment as he turned the corner he saw a Garrison deep space fighter it’s right wing was missing and saw cracks in the cockpits hood. “That not good “  Jay said to himself as he climb onto the fighter and looked into see if the person inside was still alive. the person in the was motionless for a few seconds before jay noticed the persons chest was moving back and for 

“Ok He’ s alive that's good “ Jay said as he looked toward the Prometheus as it landed nearby  followed by three hulking yellow and black loader bots  “ Alright guy load this thing onto the ship and get the med bay ready this guy is going to need it”

 In the cockpit Adam was walking up but as he opened his eye everything was blurry he looked up to see a figure  that was dressed in a duster and a white helmet had there back to him and as they turned to look back at him he saw two bright blue eyes looking down at him . Adam tried to reach for his side arm only to feel pain shoot up his arm then a voice came over the comms.

“ Are you alright man”  the voice asked

“ I’m fine.”

“ Good to hear also your under citizen arrest “ The voice said 

“Good to know “  Adam said as he sat there and felt the ship he was in being lifted up and moved.

An hour later Adam lay there locked in the medical bay. He had a dislocated  arm which was handle by the med bots that came out of the a other room when he came into the med bay.  He wondered why there was no other person here besides the man in the helmet and the machines that walked around bring stuff into ship. He wonder who the man in the helmet was. All Adam know about him was that he was a salvager who was her to pick apart what was left behind by the mining crew and that the robots that were helping him were under the control of some sort of A.I.  An that was it and that made Adam uneasy as he lay there in the quite med bay. Then the sound of the med bay door opened Adam looked over to see who came in and saw someone new. The person had long some what messy dark red hair with teal skin and Hazel eyes. Also they looked annoyed  like a child who just got scolded by their mother 

“ UH who are you” Adam Asked 

“ I’m Jay the only of person he other then you “ JAy said as he looked down at a table in his hand “ Ok now do to a scare that happened a few hours ago Mar’s is on lock down so they won’t be sending anyone to get you for the next three days. So boss told me to keep you here and ask the you the basics is that ok” 

“ Do I have a choice in answering them?” Adam asked 

“Yes you have a choice in answering the questions. Now he’s the first one . What is your name. Also I don’ t care if you lie because the government will get the answer they want when they get you and don’t try anything Jay said ” Jay said calmly as he patted his revolver 

Adam was surprised how calmly Jay said and did that. But it made senses seeing as he was behind enemy lines in a ship made to sneak pasts Mar’s defensive . So It didn’t put him in the best “  Alright I’m Adam Winchester “ 

Jay typed that in “  Ok Adam next question Why are you are here are you still working with Garrison and if so what was your mission  or were you trying to defect?” Jay said 

Adam stayed quite for a few minutes thinking how to Answer this question do to the fact that he was ordered not to talk about anything about the Mission by Admiral Sanda. But he did recall hearing about people defect to mars 

“ Are you not going to Answer ?” Jay asked

“ I’m Still with the Garrison and My mission is classified By orders of Admiral Sanda. “   Adam said 

“ Wow you won’t tell me why your here but you’ll throw the boss under the bus “ Jay said with a smile 

“ Well she’s a paranoid women an the only high ranking officer in the Garrison that makes her  hatred for the red planet you call home known and she’ll do anything to baluster her reputation no matter who gets hurt. So I don’t care if she gets knocked down a peg or two. “ Adam said

“ Yeah I have read about her . How dose someone so paranoid about a peaceful mining planet get that high up anyway?’ Jay asked 

“ Don’t know I think she’s just said what other paranodin people wanted to hear so they just gave her what they wanted. Also for a mining planet you have some pretty advanced tech would you like to explain that then?” Adam asked 

“ Aliens” Jay said flatly

“ No seriously”  Adam said 

“ I'm being serious “ Jay replied with a big smile on his face knowing he was telling the truth

“ Never mind what’s the next question “ Adam asked annoyed unaware of the truth being told

“ that was it those were the question sI was told to ask you “ Jay said 

“ Ok then what are you going to do with me now Mister Jay” Adam asked

“ Your going to help me with the job if you want if not then you’ll be confine to one of my guest rooms or the crews quarters whatever you prefer. Also dinner will be soon. it’s going to be tuna melts  “ Jay said as he was leaving the med bay.

“ Uh before you go I have a quick question?” Adam asked 

Jay popped his head back into the med bay “ What is it “ 

“ How dose this med bay work because when I got here you said I had six broken bone and a concussion  I expect well what normal what happens in a med bay .but I've just been laying here as the pain slowly faded away .So what’s going on here ”Adam asked 

“ Magic “ Jay said as he jazz hands his way out of the med bay 

Adam was back to being annoyed but couldn’t help but fine Jay’s Reponses funny. He didn’t expect that from a Martian. He expected a gruff uncaring military soldier that shot fire asked questions later  kind of guy. But what he got was just a dude who faced the same work bullshit everyone else faces. That took a load of his shoulders. But there were still many question Adam wanted to asked Jay maybe during dinner he would Ask but for now he was just going to lay down and rest for now. Seeing as he had a long three days a head of him 

#voltron #takashi shirogane #vld adam #adashi #klance #plance #kidge #kidgance #keith kogane #lance mcclain #pidge gunderson #vld shay #hunk garrett #hunay #first fanfic #vld coran #Allura #rolo #NYMA #RAX #lotura #rewrite

[bloodiedbiotic]

An Interview with the Muse!

name ➔     “Last name, Shepard. First name, Blair.”  are you single ➔      “Married, actually — to my work.” A pause. “No, I’m not single.” are you happy ➔      “I haven’t been in a while, but I’m on the road to getting there.” are you angry ➔      “I’ve been angry for so long, it’s my default emotion at this point.” are your parents still married ➔      “I never knew them, so I can’t say I know. What I’ve been told about my birth, it was unlikely my mother was married or she wouldn’t have left her own baby to die on the streets.”

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔      “Somewhere in Detroit, more than likely. Wherever I first entered the world, it didn’t matter because a dumpster was my crib right afterwards.” hair color ➔      “Black. For a while in my teenage years, I had a streak of red in it.” eye color ➔      “When I was a kid, they were blue-gray, like they are now. But when I was hitting my teenage years, they transitioned into a sort of... violet hue? And they stayed that way up until... the Lazarus Project. Now they’re... blue-gray again. Even the head of the Lazarus Project wasn’t able to explain how... or why.” birthday ➔     “April 11, 2154 was when I was found.” mood ➔      “Perpetually frustrated.” gender ➔      “Female.” summer or winter ➔      “The winters in Detroit were rough. I’ve seen friends get frostbite when the temps hit below freezing. So I think I’ll take summer over winter in that regard. Doesn’t matter much anymore, now. Not really any seasons in the vacuum of space.”  morning or afternoon ➔      “I’ve been trained to be a morning person. Be out of bed at 0500, start your daily morning routine, you know. I’m past that, though. When you spend all your time in space, it’s hard to tell the difference between morning and afternoon, so I don’t think I can’t really choose.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔     She pauses, noticeably looking away as words sit on her tongue. “...Yes, I am.”  do you believe in love at first sight ➔     Her eyes raise again, gaze is steady. “I don’t. Not love, at least. But you can meet someone and know that you can trust them.” who ended your last relationship ➔     There’s a slight change to the Commander, a change in the atmosphere around her. Tense, like the question has put the interviewer on thin ice. “I ended it informally; formally, it was as mutual as it could get in that instance. It was the first time we had seen each other in a while and emotions were running high. We couldn’t see eye-to-eye and trust was weak. There was no way around it.” have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔      “More than I’ve wanted to in ways I wish hadn’t happened.”  are you afraid of commitments ➔      “No. Cautious? Yes. But never afraid.” have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔     A chuckle brushes past her lips at the question, the corner of her lips curling up into a smile; subtle, but charming. “Yes, I’ve hugged someone within the last week. You don’t need to know who, though.” have you ever had a secret admirer ➔      “I’ve had a not-so-secret admirer; wouldn’t be surprised if I had a secret one, though.” have you ever broken your own heart? ➔     Shepard falls quiet, her gaze sinking down to her hands in her lap. “...Yes. Yes, I have. Next question.”

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔      “I’d say love. Lust can be far more fleeting than love, but I’ve thankfully been lucky enough to have both.” lemonade or iced tea ➔      “And this is without any sort of alcohol added in to spike it? ...I’m kidding. It’s not usually my first choice of a drink, especially given both lack any significant amount of caffeine. Iced tea would do.” cats or dogs ➔      “I’ve never had either—” She shifts in her seat. “Well, I have a dog, but he’s not technically a real dog. I think I’d prefer a dog over a cat, though. ‘‘Man’s best friend’’ and all.” a few best friends or many regular friends ➔     She pauses, and it becomes clear in her eyes that she’s thinking long and hard about her answer. “...A few best friends, but that doesn’t mean I don’t prefer many regular friends. But there are just that few select people that I can confide in, you know?” wild night out or romantic night in ➔      “Romantic night in, hands down. You have no idea just how tired I am of ‘‘wild nights.’’ The galaxy really needs to give me a break.” day or night ➔      “Living aboard a ship, I never really see day or night. Just the stars. Before I enlisted, I preferred the night; could slip through the streets without being noticed and get away with anything if I was careful enough.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔      “No, there was no need to ‘‘sneak’’ out if I didn’t have a home to sneak out of or any parents to catch me.” fallen down/up the stairs ➔     The Commander doesn’t respond right away, taking just a brief moment to register what was asked. “Fallen... up the stairs? As in, tripping while going up the stairs? No, never. And no to the former of falling down stairs. I’ve done a lot of falling in my life – never down stairs, though.” wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔      “Yes, and the pain is indescribable. Sometimes, it’s a crushing feeling, deep in your ribs, pressing against your lungs, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t catch your breath. Other times, it’s a cinder block tied to your mind. Weighing it down—weighing you down—and making it feel like the world is moving just a bit too quickly. To put it short, it hurts like hell.”  wanted to disappear ➔      “Yeah, actually. I mean, I already did disappear for two years, so I guess I was able to achieve that, even if it was by... undesirable means.” Shepard falls quiet for a moment, her gaze drifting to the floor. “But sometimes, I think of how nice it’d be to just... disappear; to not be Commander Shepard, even just for a little while.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔     Her gaze lifts again, though it becomes apparent that while she’s looking at the interviewer, she isn’t looking at them. Someone else’s face is on her mind, and there’s the faintest brush of red across the Commander’s sharp cheekbones. “It’s a tough choice, but... eyes.”  shorter or taller ➔      “Taller. But not because I want him to be tougher than me or anything — no, he could be as tall as a turian and I’d still be able to beat him in hand-to-hand combat.” As the words are recorded, a smirk splits her lips, wicked and smug.  intelligence or attraction ➔      “Another case of being blessed to have both.” Shepard leans back in her chair, her smile softening now. “I think attraction would be more preferable. I’ve met some incredibly intelligent people but let me just say that I’m... not quite on the same level as them.” hook-up or relationship ➔      “Relationship. I’ve had hook-ups during my days as a serviceman, and I think I’ve grown past them. Not saying that I’m ready to settle down, but I’m not interested in having a different person in my bed with every sexual encounter.” She shrugs. “Call me boring.” 

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔      “The Normandy crew is my family, and with that being said, I think we get along pretty well. I’ve had some spats with a few crew members before, but nothing that wasn’t resolved somehow.” would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔      “I think ‘‘messed up life’’ is an understatement.” have you ever ran away from home ➔       “Yes... in a sense. On the eve of my eighteenth birthday, I ran. Thanks to the Alliance, I never had to look back.” have you ever gotten kicked out ➔      “No, thankfully.”

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔      “You’d be able to tell when I hate someone, trust me. I may sometimes hate some of my allies here and there, but never one of my friends.” do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔     The Commander pauses, thinking over the question and her answer. “...Yes. A lot of my friends are people who have served aboard the Normandy at one point or another, but it still takes a lot for me to consider someone a friend... And I’m grateful for the ones I have.”  who is your best friend ➔      “Honestly? ...Garrus. Whenever I’ve had to walk through hell, he’s been by my side. With Saren, the Collectors, the Reapers...” The smile on her lips falters a bit, a flicker of hurt hidden behind her eyes. “We’re both soldiers who have been through a lot. He’s one of the few aboard this ship who has seen the same horrors I have... Horizon... the Collector base...” A heavy exhale is let out, the woman’s shoulders relaxing. “Not sure how I would have done it all without him...”  who knows everything about you ➔      “Liara. She’s seen my memories, and with her... resources, it’s probably easy for her to find out stuff about me that even I don’t know.” There’s a silence that hangs for a moment before Shepard speaks again, a contemplation of words. “There’s someone else who knows everything about me, but in a literal, physical sense. The head of the Lazarus Project? Yeah, her. She probably knows just as much as possible about my history, too.”

“Oh, would you look at the time. I should go.”

#✧ — ⋆ template for reports ; dash game . #✧ — ⋆ isms ; about . #[ i'm not tagging anyone for this because it's honestly just a monster to fill out ] #[ i've had this in my draft for?? a week? ] #[ or longer idk ] #[ i've had to work at this bit by bit ] #[ but i finally was able to just sit through the rest and get the formatting ] #[ feel free to steal this if you want to do this! obvs you dont have to do it the same way that i did! ] #✧ — ⋆ i was lost without you ; kaidan . #long post //

[crystalninjaphoenix]

House Call

A JSE Fanfic

Switch AU

Writing for the same AU two weeks in a row isn’t something I normally do, but I feel like this AU needs it because, well, I haven’t formally introduced all the characters yet. So, as a follow-up to the last thing I wrote, here’s this thing! Wherein some of the boys meet each other, and some more characters are introduced!

Jackie didn’t consider himself smart. Sure, he was able to get through medical school easily enough, but he wasn’t a surgeon or a specialist or anything complicated, just a general practitioner. That didn’t require too much book smarts to become, did it? And besides, there were plenty of areas where he had no idea what he was doing. That became evident when he tried to use Rama’s computer to play a video and ended up somehow entirely breaking the thing. He tried for half an hour to figure out what happened before giving in and calling a friend.

“So, uh...” Jackie bounced nervously, standing next to the desk in the study. “Is it, like, completely useless now, or...?”

The guy sitting at the desktop computer didn’t look up at him. He didn’t look like what most people imagined programmers to be like. He wore a black jacket and ripped black jeans, and his brown hair had a streak of green and a streak of black running through it. His eyes were two different colors: green on his right and blue on his left. “Yeah, completely useless,” he said casually. “You broke it all.”

“What?! You can’t be serious!”

“Dead serious. Gonna have to scrap the whole CPU.”

“But Rama has so much saved on here! We can’t just throw it all out! So much of their work is gonna go to waste—wait a second.” Jackie’s eyes narrowed. It seemed the programmer was biting back a smile. Jackie scowled, giving him a hearty shove. “Oh, very funny, Anti. Congratulations, you gave me a heart attack.”

“How many times are you gonna fall for that?” Anti asked through laughter.

“Well, it looks like every time at this point. Now give me the actual news.”

Anti calmed down, reentering his serious mode. “I dunno how it happened, but you somehow caught a virus on here. Not seriously harmful, but still nasty. Gimme a few more minutes, I should be able to root it out. Hopefully it hasn’t corrupted anything beside your browser, gonna have to reinstall that.”

“Oh. That’s good, I guess?” At least it was salvageable. “Do you...need anything?”

“Uh...” Anti looked over to where Jackie was hovering over his shoulder. “I need you to stop being a fucking helicopter.”

Jackie leaned back, taking a few steps away. “Alright, calm your boots. I’ll just go stand in the corner, Blair Witch style. Don’t mind m—”

His snarky remark was cut off once he felt a vibration in his hoodie pocket. He dug around inside and pulled out his phone, a number he didn’t recognize onscreen. He frowned, then tentatively accepted the call. “Hello?”

For a moment, there was nothing. Until: “Hello! You wouldn’t happen to be Dr. Parker, would you?”

“This is him.” Jackie absolutely did not recognize the faintly posh British voice, yet it somehow sounded familiar. Maybe it reminded him of one of his friends’ voices.

Anti leaned back in the study’s swivel chair. “Hey, you mind taking that outside? Concentration, and all.”

Jackie made an okay sign, then left the study, leaning against the wall in the hallway outside. While he was moving, the person on the other side continued to talk. “Right. Um, my name is Jameson Jackson. I don’t know if he told you about me, but, uh, I got this number from a friend of yours. He told me to call you if we were ever in need of a doctor.”

“Wait, you’re the guy who Volt saw do real magic, right?” The incident had happened about a week and a half ago, and ever since then, Schneep would not stop bringing it up. As to be expected, when you discovered that something you thought was impossible was, in fact, possible. “I saw the whole thing on the news, too. Isn’t your stage name, like, Jazzy, or something like that?”

That prompted a sudden burst of laughter on the other end. “Jazzy!” Jameson repeated lightly. “Maybe I should have used that. No, it’s actually the Jaunty Jackson. Adjectives starting with J are scarce.”

“I see,” Jackie nodded. “So, what’s the problem? I mean, you wouldn’t be calling a number that a superhero gave you and told you it was for a doctor if you didn’t need...well, a doctor.”

“Oh, right, the problem. Well you see—” Jameson suddenly stopped. Jackie could faintly hear another voice on the other end, sounding a bit snappish. Then Jameson’s voice said something, sounding like he’d covered the phone with his hand. Jackie thought it was along the lines of “Shut your mouth and let me help you.” Then, Jameson returned. “Sorry about that. Anyway, the problem is that a friend of mine has had a bit of an...issue, a health issue, for a long time. It hasn’t really been looked at, but I thought that, since today is one of the bad ones, that it was about time we got around to that. You wouldn’t mind, would you?”

“No, of course not.” Jackie was already mentally reviewing the possibilities. “I’m not in my office right now, but can you come over here if I give you my address?”

“Oh. You can’t...come over here?”

“I mean, technically I could. But my spouse is out for once and they’d kill me if I left our daughter without supervision.” Anti didn’t count. He could leave at any minute.

On the other end of the line, there was what sounded like a discussion. A few moments passed. “Alright, where’s your address?” Jameson finally asked. Upon Jackie giving it to him, he said, “Oh good, that’s pretty close. We’ll be there in...hmm, fifteen minutes.”

“Alright. Just ring the doorbell, I’ll answer.”

“Understood. Thank you very much, Dr. Parker.”

“Eh, just call me Jackie. Everyone does. And no problem.”

“Thank you very much, Jackie. We’ll be there soon.” And with that, he hung up.

At that moment, two small children raced past Jackie, screaming. One of them, a taller boy with curly red hair and freckles, attached himself to Jackie’s leg. “Uncle Jackie, help!” he said. “She’s prosecuting me!”

The other child, a younger girl with black hair and eyes, skidded to a halt and whirled around, making the blanket tied around her neck fly in a nice whoosh. “I’m no-ot!” she yelled. “Dad, he stole the treasure of the Bed Plateau! He needs to pay for his crimes! In the Bedroom jail!”

Jackie raised an eyebrow. “Really? Well, I can’t help a thief. But I don’t see any treasure. Are you sure you’re not persecuting him, Michelle?”

Michelle stomped her foot. “It’s in his pocket!”

“No, it’s not! You don’t know that!” The boy said, still holding on to Jackie’s leg.

“Well, Will,” Jackie said patiently. “I guess I have to ask you to...turn out your pockets! Show me you don’t have anything to hide!”

Will froze for a moment, then shoved himself away from Jackie and resumed his sprinting, shouting “You’ll never take me aliiiiiiive!”

“Face justice!” Michelle shouted, running after him.

Jackie shook his head, smiling, then peeked back into the study. Anti was still glued to the computer screen, now frowning. “Hey, how’s it goin’ in here?”

“Worse than I thought it would be,” Anti replied, clicking through files on the desktop. “This is gonna take...a lot longer than I thought. Might be here for a while.”

“Okay. But just to let you know, some people are coming over in a bit under fifteen minutes.”

“Really?” The word was half surprise, half groan. “Who? Some of Rama’s friends? Repair people?”

“Well, remember those two guys who Volt gave my phone number to for if they ever needed help? One of them just called me.”

“The magician and his assistant. Got it. Tell me when they leave.”

Jackie sighed. “You need more than two people to talk to, Anti.”

“Does Will count?” Anti glanced away from the screen for the first time. “How’s he doin’, by the way? Playing nice with Michelle?”

“He just stole her Beanie Baby,” Jackie said. “But I think that’s so Michelle can play defender of the bedroom. Nice of him.”

“Good.” Anti turned back to the computer. “Can you, uh, make sure neither of them get hurt while I work on this?”

“Of course, dude. I’ll shout for you if anything bad happens.”

Fifteen minutes later, the two kids had stopped playing defender of the bedroom and were now spread out on the living room carpet, surrounded by markers and crayons and doodling on pads of paper. Jackie was lying on the sofa, watching. And then the doorbell rang and he went on high alert. “I think that’s the visitors I told you about,” he said to the kids, standing up. “You two want to go somewhere else or stay?”

“We’ll go in the dining room,” Will said, already gathering the drawing materials. “Finish in there. Michelle, are you okay with that or do you want to stay?”

“Uh-huh! It’s hard to draw on carpet anyway. Let’s go.” And the two of them left.

“Don’t forget to listen and ask for me if anything’s wrong! And don’t jump off the table again!” That would very much lead to one of them getting hurt. Jackie sighed. Maybe he should’ve kept them in here, but too late now. He sighed, and made his way over to the front door, swinging it open. “Hello! You must be Mr. Jackson and his friend, right? Come in, come in.”

“Oh! Yes, that’s us, thank you.” The pair of them walked right inside. Even though Schneep had given Jackie descriptions of them after the incident at the theatre, he still took a moment to examine them. The one who’d spoken was dressed in a purple button-down shirt, and had a thick black mustache. The other one was wearing a brown jacket and vest, like he’d stepped out of another era, and was carrying a wooden cane. The latter was leaning heavily on the former (and trying his best to look like he wasn’t), and the moment the two of them were inside they made a beeline for the couch. The one in the jacket immediately sat down with a faint expression of relief.

“Right, well, I’m Jameson, as you probably recognize from my voice,” said the one still standing. “And this is Marvin.”

“Pleasure t’meet ya,” Marvin said, nodding. He held out a hand.

“Nice to meet you too.” Jackie shook the offered hand. “Can I get you anything?”

Both of them shook their heads in unison.

“Alright. So. What’s the problem?”

Marvin scowled. “It’s not a problem, per se.”

“Yes it is,” Jameson muttered.

“Jems, lemme speak f’r myself, thank you.” Marvin turned his attention back to Jackie. “Y’see, when I was a little lad, I got very sick. I recovered, obviously, but not without some...after effects.”

“Ah.” Jackie sat down in the nearest armchair. Meanwhile, Jameson took a seat next to Marvin on the sofa. “Like what?”

Marvin folded his arms. “Bas’clly, me legs weren’t ever the same again. Walking can be...difficult.”

“How so? Does it hurt, or does it just take a lot of effort?”

“The second one. The more I stand and walk, the harder it gets. And It changes ev’ry so often, some days bein’ worse than others. But it’s nothin’ I can’ handle. Jems is just overreactin’.”

“Yes, exactly, I was overreacting when I found you sprawled in the middle of the upstairs hallway, claiming you were just ‘taking a break,’” Jameson drawled.

“Yes, you were.”

“And I was overreacting when you had to call me to help you down the stairs, then stumbled into the front room and immediately sat down without eating breakfast or anything, which is an important part of your daily routine.”

“Yep.”

“And I was overreacting when I had to support you getting into the car, then practically pull you up the path to this front door.”

“Exactly,” Marvin nodded resolutely.

Jameson threw his hands up into the air. “Dr. Parker. Jackie. In your professional opinion, is this a problem?”

Jackie pursed his lips. “Most people would consider it one.”

“Look, I’ve had worse days,” Marvin waved it off. “If I can still walk, it’s fine. And last time we tried to go to one of these doctors, they tried to put me in a wheeled chair, which I def’nitely don’ need.”

“I wasn’t about to say that you do,” Jackie said calmly. “Look, you sound like you’re doing okay for the most part. But if, maybe, I could help you make things a little easier, would you listen?”

Marvin looked over at Jameson, who was giving him a pointed look. “...prob’ly,” he mumbled.

“Alright. Well then, first things first, do you remember what got you sick as a kid? I need to know so I can get a general idea of what’s up.”

“Oh. Yeah, I remember it.”

The moment Marvin told him, Jackie’s mouth dropped open. “You’re sure about that?”

“Yes.” Marvin gave him a confused look. “Why?”

“There hasn’t been a case of that in thirty years.”

“Oh.” Marvin and Jameson exchanged looks again. “Really?”

“Yeah, it’s been basically wiped out. You’re sure that’s what it was?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Marvin sighed, already sounding exhausted.

“Alright.” Jackie decided to store this information away for a later date. It wasn’t the point right now. But later, he was one hundred percent going to call these two again and talk about how, exactly, that could have happened. “Well, I guess we’re moving on. Now, I guess the number one question is to ask you what you want to be able to do. And if there’s anything that you definitely don’t want to happen. Obviously, you already talked about the wheelchair scenario, but is there anything else?”

Marvin narrowed his eyes, obviously suspicious. “Really? T'at’s it?”

Jackie shrugged. “I mean, I could technically tell you what you should be doing, but a lot of times doctors that just tell don’t really take into account the patient’s wishes. And especially in cases like this, dealing with chronic pain and fatigue, they try their best to fix everything through any means, and they don’t really think about maybe some things can’t be fixed. So, tell me what you want to happen and I’ll give you advice on how to accomplish it.”

Marvin whistled, and put his chin in his hands. “Well...Jems has his shows. I wouldn’ mind bein’ able to...the last show I was backstage for the first time, and they don’ have anyplace to sit there. I was lucky it was a better day, but...you get what I’m gettin’ at, yes?”

The whole visit didn’t take any longer than ten minutes. Ten minutes of just talking, with Marvin listing things that had bothered him and Jackie offering ways to make doing those things just a little bit easier. Jameson watched the whole thing, sort of in awe at what was happening. He hadn’t seen Marvin this open with someone else in...well, in all the time he’d known him. Sure, he was still doing his stubborn thing and insisting he could handle some things that JJ wasn’t sure he actually could, but the fact that he was listening was already an improvement. There must’ve been something about Jackie’s casual attitude and clear willingness to help that was helping him put his guard down.

“Is there anything else?” Jackie finally asked.

“No, I t’ink t’at’s all,” Marvin replied. JJ wasn’t sure he was being honest about that, but there’d already been a lot of sharing, and maybe he was starting to reach his limit. Now the question was just how much of the advice he was actually going to listen to and how much he was going to discard in favor of “I can do it, see?”

“Hey, Jackie, I finally fixed the—oh.” Another man had walked into the front room from deeper into the house, then instantly stopped in his tracks the moment he saw there were still other people in the front room.

“...oh, that’s good to hear,” Jackie said, breaking the long, awkward pause. “Um, Anti, this is Jameson and Marvin. I told you they were coming, remember?”

“Yyyeah,” Anti said slowly. “Hey, where are the kids?”

“In the dining room.”

“I’ll go check on them. Will and I need to leave soon anyway.” He turned and quickly walked right back out.

Jameson stared at the spot he’d been standing, then looked right back at Jackie. “What...who was that?”

“Oh, that was Anti,” Jackie explained. “He’s a friend of mine. Good with computers, so when ours broke, I called him over to see if he could fix it. Apparently he just did.”

“He’s a...bit strange, isn’t he?” Marvin asked. “With t’at unusual name, and the hair and eye color.”

“Well, he dyes his hair, and he has heterochromia, meaning he was born with two differently colored eyes. But Anti isn’t his name.”

“Really?” JJ asked. “Do you mind if I ask what the story is behind that, then? Or what his name is?”

“I mean, your guess is as good as mine,” Jackie shrugged. “I literally don’t think anyone knows what his name actually is. He’s insanely secretive about it, which only leads to more speculation, of course. He calls himself Anti ‘cause the name of his channel is antisepticeye.”

“His what?” Marvin repeated.

“Y’know, his YouTube channel. He does let’s plays and walkthroughs, usually a lot of horror games. Sometimes he’ll throw a comedy bit in there. You should check it out, it’s pretty cool.”

“Maybe we will,” JJ said. Marvin didn’t look so sure.

Anti reentered the front room, the two kids trailing behind him, holding their drawings and the supplies. “Well, we were about to leave,” he said, “but Will and Michelle wanted to show off their artwork.”

“Dad!” Michelle bounced forward, hoisting herself up onto Jackie’s lap. “Look! I chron’cled our adventures today!” She started showing off the pieces of paper, decorated in crayon.

“Wow, sweetie,” Jackie said, impressed. “They look really good! I guess we have more for the archives, don’t we?” That was what it was called when Michelle’s drawings ended up on the fridge.

Michelle beamed, then caught sight of Marvin and Jackie sitting on the sofa. “Oh! These are your new friends, right, Dad?” she asked. “Hi! I’m Michelle. Do you want to see my adventures?”

“Adventures? Why, yes, I would!” JJ said excitedly. “What sort of adventures are they?”

“I’ll show you!” Michelle bounded over to the sofa, managing to squeeze in right in between the two of them. She looked up at Will. “C’mon, don’t just stand there! Show Dad and Uncle Anti what you did too!”

“Oh.” Will shuffled his papers. “Well, I didn’t draw anything we did today. Just a lot of stuff that I thought was cool.”

Anti smiled for the first time that day. “More dinosaurs?”

“Yeah. A couple of them are.” He handed the drawings to Anti. “Like, there’s the one with the brontosaurus family that I really liked. But there’s a lot that are just stuff I saw.”

Anti flipped through the drawings. “Did you draw the shop we saw on the way here? That’s very good! Really looks like it.” His smile faded a bit when he reached the last drawing. “Wait, what’s this one?”

“What one?” Will poked up on tiptoes to see which picture Anti had come to. “Oh, that one. I had a weird dream last night. I woke up and saw someone in my room. We talked for a long time, and then I went back to sleep, and when I woke up he was gone.”

“...huh. Jackie, look at this.”

He passed the last picture over to Jackie, whose brows flew up into the air upon seeing it. “Will,” he said softly. “It wasn’t a nightmare, was it?”

“No, I wasn’t scared.”

“Are you sure? This looks kind of scary.”

“But he wasn’t scary. He was pretty nice, and he looked really happy. Or, I remember him looking happy a lot, I think.”

“Hey, can I see t’at?” Marvin didn’t know why the words had popped out of his mouth. He wasn’t even sure he said them until everyone looked his way.

Will shrugged. “Sure.” He took the drawing back from Jackie, then padded over and handed it to Marvin.

The drawing was of a stick figure drawn in gray marker, with squares standing in for clothes and shoes. Darker gray scribbles were done in marker over the stick figure’s head. On top of the scribbles, two black circle eyes and a curved smile mouth were drawn in crayon. The figure also appeared to be crying, but red crayon had been used for the tears. The background was various strokes and sketches done in black and gray crayon.

JJ leaned over to see the drawing. “That’s...a little unusual,” he said slowly. “But I suppose dreams are a little bit weird.”

“...t’s familiar,” Marvin muttered.

“What?”

“I said...never mind.” Marvin rubbed the back of his neck, where all the hairs had suddenly stood up. “I t’ink...maybe I had a dream like t’is once.” He was sure that wasn’t the answer. This felt almost like a memory he’d forgotten. But when would he have seen something like this? Sure, he’d grown used to seeing strange things ever since he’d moved in with a magician, but nothing even close to this. It was probably just his imagination.

Jameson narrowed his eyes. He wasn’t buying this one bit. But this wasn’t the time to get into it. “We can talk about it later,” he muttered.

Jackie and Anti, who’d been quietly talking among themselves, suddenly broke off. “Well, if you don’t need anything else to be fixed or hacked, I think it’s time for us to go,” Anti said. “Will still has homework.”

“It’s just math.” Will made a face. “I’m ahead in that.”

“But do you want to stop being ahead in that? No. But at least it’s only one worksheet, and maybe we can...I dunno, get something special afterwards? It’s close to the end of the school year, after all.”

Will’s eyes lit up. “Alright, then!” He gathered up his drawings. “Bye Michelle.”

Michelle hopped down and gave Will a quick hug. “Bye, Will! I’m gonna put these in the archives now.” And with a skip, she rushed off to the kitchen.

“Oh hey, we’re still meeting at Schneep’s this Saturday, right?” Anti asked.

“Uh, unless he suddenly gets...‘injured on the job,’ yeah,” Jackie nodded. “In fact I was thinking...we could have even more people meet us there.”

“Really?” Anti folded his arms. “Who?”

Jackie’s eyes flicked over to where JJ and Marvin were still sitting on the couch. “Oh no,” JJ said. “No, we couldn’t possibly—this sounds like it’s your thing, we shouldn’t interfere with that.”

“No, it’s fine,” Jackie shrugged, adjusting his glasses. “It’s always good to meet more people. And besides, Anti needs more friends.”

“Wh—no, I don’t, I’m fine,” Anti insisted.

Jackie sighed. He looked over at JJ. “You know, sometimes I think he likes to be called Anti because he’s antisocial.”

“That wasn’t funny the first fifty times.”

“I mean...it woul’ be nice t’get outta the house,” Marvin said slowly. “Haven’ done t’at in a while.”

“So then, you should come!” Jackie said eagerly. “Get to know Schneep better, he’ll be happy to see you. He’s got a bit of a...shocking personality, though.”

Anti rolled his eyes.

JJ bit his lip, thinking, then shrugged. “Alright. If you insist it wouldn’t be...intrusive in any way, we’ll come.”

“Yes!” Jackie smiled. “I promise you won’t regret it.” He turned to Anti. “And you won’t either. You’ll see.”

“Alright, fine, I’ll consider it,” Anti scowled. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Will has been tugging on my jacket for the last minute, trying to get me to leave.”

Will self-consciously dropped his hand. “You talk a lot,” he said defensively.

“You’ll talk a lot when you’re a grown-up too. But don’t worry, we’re going now.” Anti opened the front door, turning around for one last goodbye. “See you later, Jackie.”

“See you, Anti. Remember: Saturday!”

“Yeah, I got it.” The door swung closed again.”

Jackie turned to JJ and Marvin. “Are you two ready to leave now too? Or would you like to stay some more?”

Marvin pushed to his feet, leaning on his cane. “I t’ink I’m ready to go now. Ah...thank you...for your help, doctor.”

“Jackie, remember. And it was no problem, I was glad to help. Need anything else?”

“No, I’m fine,” Marvin said.

JJ stood up. “Thank you for having us, Jackie.”

“You know, I’m still going to say no problem.” A smile quirked at the edge of Jackie’s mouth. “I’ll text you to remind you about the plan for Saturday. Give you the address. Oh, and lemme get the door for you right now.” Jackie reopened the door that Anti had previously closed.

“Thanks,” JJ said. “C’mon, Marvin. Goodbye, Jackie!”

“Goodbye you two! See you later!”

The moment the door had closed behind them and they were once again outside, JJ turned to Marvin. “What do you think? Good visit?”

Marvin considered this. “It was...certainly more helpful than I t’ought it woul’ be.” He paused. “Jems, would you...mind if I leaned on you for a bit?”

JJ smiled. “Not at all, Marvin.”

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticegos #septic egos #septic egos au #jackieboy man #antisepticeye #jameson jackson #marvin the magnificent #septicswitchau #brigid writes fanfiction #dr. jackie parker #programmer anti #the jaunty jackson #1920s marvin

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #183

“clothes trailing from the back door to the bedroom, and i don’t even know your name.”

Would you ever become a fan of a team you hate to please your spouse? Lol no. Can you handle scary movies? Easily. How often do you get a new purse…and for guys a new wallet? Not often at all. What is the most money that you have ever spent on getting your nails done? This doesn't apply to me, I don't get them done. Once a cheater, always a cheater? No, but I wouldn't date someone who ever did. What word describes your last relationship? Verification, I suppose? I learned I love him just platonically. Do you sneak into movie theaters? No. You can make one person fall eternally in love with you, who do you choose? I don't want to *make* anyone do that. Is there ever a happily ever after? Yeah, but sadly not for everyone. Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed? Not terribly, but the closet could make me nervous. Do you like guys with beards? It depends on the guy. What annoys you most of the same sex? This isn't generalizing, I think we can all agree girls have a greater tendency to be short in arguments or if we're just in a bad mood. Do you have a fake I.D.? No. Would you ever travel to Africa? I already wanna go. Would you date someone 5 years older than you? Yeah. Does it bother you when girls make duck faces? It doesn't bother me, I just think it looks dumb. Have you ever been fingered? Yeah. Have you ever been to California? Did you like it? Never gone. What do you do the most when you are online? Watch YT, RP, browse dA, surveys... Do you like to dance? If so, what is your favorite move? I do, but there's no way I could survive dance classes in my current shape. Fave move, idk. When was the last time you got a haircut? Few days before going to Sara's in October. I need another. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? YUP. I won't date you if it's any more than very rarely. Honestly, if you wanted to get laid right now, could you? No. what is your favorite font? Of the "normal" ones, Garamond. Would you make a good movie critic? Noooo. I'm not very criticizing of movies, honestly. Do you like deviled eggs? Omfg NO. I fucking abhor egg yolk in any form. What is your favorite Horror movie? Either of the Blair Witch Project movies. What career are you most interested in? Paleontologist. Have you ever seen a rooster? Welcome to the South, buckaroo. What’s your favorite sweetheart name (baby, honey, angel, dumpling) "Love" or "sweetheart." Has a little kid ever fallen asleep on your lap before? Yes. Have you ever thrown a grenade? No. Have you ever owned a rocking horse? Maybe? Who was the last person you took a picture with? Sara. What’s your favorite kind of float? (coke, root beer) Coke. Have you ever seriously mourned the death of a pet? Like extremely seriously, not really, I think? Shadow was hard, but I don't believe it was too serious. I saw him dying days before it happened. Can you surf/boogie board? No. Medals, ribbons, or trophies? (or just plain cash?) I'll take the money. If any of your friends had really bad body odor, would you tell them? No. Would you ever try anal? If you have, were you always keen to try it? NO NO NO IT GROSSES ME OUT SO MUCH. What age do you want to live until? Maybe like, at least 70. If all jobs paid the same, what would you be doing? Photography. If you heard your best friend’s significant other was cheating on them, would you tell them? Even if you couldn’t prove it? No shit, but I'd be sure to include I only heard it. What is the story behind your pet’s name? Teddy: reminded us of a teddy bear. Bentley: idk. Roman: thought it sounded regal, like cats. Venus: beautiful, her color is similar to the planet. Mitsu: I gave all my rats "m" names. Kaiju: I'd wanted an iguana named after a huge lizard creature forever. What’s something that you once liked, but now hate? Country music. If you were to get engaged, what’s your dream engagement ring? Rose gold something. If you discovered you were pregnant at this point in time, would you keep it or abort it? Why? If out of my own carelessness, I'd keep it but adopt it out. If in any other way, idk. If my life was at risk, yes, and I'd really have to consider if it'd be too traumatic for me with how I feel about pregnancy. What is the last thing you googled? I forgot. Throughout your life, what was your favorite birthday and why? Idk. If everyone was required to make a YouTube channel, what would your content be like? Um... I suppose chill let's plays, no camera? I'd want to hide my identity 'cuz I ain't even risking popularity. How far away do you live from the closest mall? 15-ish minutes? Why do you dislike/hate the person you most dislike/hate? I don't hate anyone I personally know, but I most dislike Colleen for a novel of reason. Are you disrespectful to a lot of people? Definitely not. Do you like the color pink? Pink is everything. On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings? Haven't in a long time. Doesn’t it annoy you when couples post things to each other’s wall on Facebook that are all mushy and gross and NO ONE CARES? No, fuck off. Let people express love of each other. You SHOULD care to some degree that a couple lives in love. What was the last song you had on repeat? "Black Wedding" by In This Moment ft. Rob Halford. Are you drifting away from your best friend? Absolutely not. Would you feel hurt if your last ex was in a relationship? No, I'd be super happy for him. Are you currently wanting any piercings? Always. Do you have trouble sleeping when it’s storming? Nooo, bring it on. What language do you want to learn how to speak? German. Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool? No. Did you ever watch Lilo & Stitch as a child? I was obsessed. Have you ever been to one of the great lakes? No, flew past one to Sara's, though. Do you have light posts on your street? No. How about sidewalks? No. What is one food combination you enjoy that others might think is weird? Waffles/pancakes with peanut butter. How do you tend to feel when the year is ending? Hopeful for new beginnings, dreading the ending, etc? I don't feel anything about it. There's nothing truly special about it. What bad habit have you had the longest? What about a good habit? Picking at my nails; manners. Is there anything you do that you are ashamed of? What about proud? Download music; treat animals with the respect they deserve. What is one compliment you find particularly meaningful? What about an insult you find particularly devastating? Calling me kind; calling me weak or that I'll go nowhere. Have you ever had a lucid dream? Share it, if you wish? No. Do you find sleep paralysis to be scary or not so much? Never experienced it, but it sounds absolutely horrifying. Do you have any truly unpopular opinions? If so, share one? Sure. Hormone treatment is an awful idea. What would you say is your biggest accomplishment from the past year? Uhhhhh. I suppose making big progress stretching past my comfort zone. When was the last time you went through a major life change/event? I think me coming out last year was a pretty big event, especially as it led to an incredible relationship. How many places have you lived throughout your life, and which one was your favorite? Four, and as far as location, #3. Overall happiness in the home, #2. Without saying names, what is something you wish you could say to someone? "Look who was wrong." Do you have any typing quirks, or do you prefer to type ‘properly’? I think I use the wrong shift key for a certain letter... but idk off the top of my head. Who do you judge more harshly - others or yourself? Myself. What is the most difficult thing you have ever had to accept? Jason no longer loved me. What is something you do to help yourself feel better on a bad day? Watch some of my fave YT vids. Who or what in life has taught you the most about love? The breakup. Other than in a plane, what’s the highest elevation you’ve experienced? Have you ever had altitude sickness? Driving on a mountain, and no. If you had all the artistic ability you needed, what kinds of things would you most like to draw? MY OCS. Or just meerkats in general, but with macabre scenes. What’s a song that you’re ashamed to say you like? "Bitches" by Hollywood Undead, for one. Ever had sex in a public place? No. Do you do something about it when your stomach hurts, or just let it be? I take medicine. I handle stomachaches very poorly. Do you ever have binges that last for hours, watching YouTube videos? Um?????? Every day????????????????? Do you believe sex should be mandatory in an ongoing dating relationship? No. How do you feel about smoking weed? I've gotten more and more "whatever" about it, but I'm still not a huge fan of the idea. We already complain about cigs and cancer, why legalize something with more carcinogens? Medicinally tho, I'm for it. What foods can you absolutely not eat? Beans are a big 'ole fuck no. Kisses on the cheek or the neck? Depends on the mood. List four things about your facial appearance: I have a real obvious dimple on my left cheek. I have two prominent scars on my chin from when I fainted directly onto it. My eyes are gray/greenish blue. I've been told a lot I have long eyelashes but I don't wanna get up and go to a mirror to verify. List four things about your general appearance: I have dry skin, mY LEG HAIR IS FUCKING PITCH BLACK AND I HATE IT, the nail on my left ring finger is slightly deformed, and I have really thick hair. It’s getting pretty cold now, isn’t it? Do you have the heating on? Yes. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Kinda hot, normally. What are you favorite color eyes? Sapphire or light blue. Do you have long arm hair? Not really. Does your family put up Christmas lights? Yes. Favorite holiday? Halloween. Any bands you used to like and are now embarrassing to you? Not off the top of my head... but there's probs some. Have you ever taken part in a threesome? No. Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. When was the last time you built a sandcastle? Forever ago. Do you care about gun laws? Yes. How does alcohol affect you? I become more talkative and outgoing, and I get a warm sensation in my stomach. I don't know if my face still flushes. What color is your toothpaste? Blue. Have you ever inhaled helium? Shit, have I? What is your favorite kind of pasta? Normal noodles. Do you keep up-to-date with current news and events? Noooot at all. Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize? Yes, but I don't really feel he meant it. Who is the worst driver you know? How about the best driver? Jason; Mom, easily. Honestly, have you ever said a racist joke? I actually don't believe so. Are you comfortable hanging out with your friend’s boyfriends/girlfriends? I can't really relate to this, but it wouldn't bother me. Where were you when you got your first period? I'd just gotten home from school. Are you more attracted to men or women? Ohhhh that's hard. Romantically, easily women, but sexually, uh... idrk. If you had to choose a stripper name, what would it be? huh True or False: Everything happens for a reason. False. Who was the last person to really hurt you? Mom. What was the main subject of your last telephone conversation? I was locked outside of my house and needed Mom to come home to help. When drinking hard alcohol do you take shots more or make mixed drinks? I can't handle hard alcohol period. What is one song you listen to that you’re sure not many people do? Off the top of my head, I love "Abenteuerland" by Pur. Have you ever woken up next to someone after a night of drinking? No. Does your mail go to a P.O Box or to a mailbox at your house? A mailbox. Who was the last person from your high school graduating class you saw? Uhhh most likely Colleen. Do you enjoy kissing? Ye. What about making out? Yeah. Where are you most ticklish? DON'T FUCKIN TOUCH MY FEET. Have you ever been to an arena concert? No. Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yes. Has a friend ever really hurt you and you never told them? Maybe? Have you ever stayed on a ride at a theme park to ride it again? No. Where do you want to raise your children? I'm not having kids, but hypothetically, in nature. Are you afraid that if you do have children they will turn out like you? No. Have you ever slow danced to a song you didn’t know? No. Has someone ever dedicated a song to you? Yes. Do you like to have your hair pulled? I'm indifferent. Definitely don't do it hard. Do you work any holidays? N/A What is a quality someone might not assume you have? Apparently from being told, when I'm forced into talking, I don't seem shy??? I don't see it. When you are in a group that is overwhelmingly male, how noticeable is it to you? Does it make you feel any differently than being in a group that is mixed or predominantly female? It's noticeable to me, and I'm likely to be more anxious. Especially if I'm not with someone else. I'd feel safer with females. Do you have a makeup item or style trick that you feel improves your look significantly and that you feel like you couldn’t go without now that you have it? I feel eyeliner makes me look far better above anything else, but I like, never wear makeup period. Did you have to “unlearn” any expectations or wrong ideas, particularly about romance, that you gained as a child either from media you consumed or from people around you (e.g., fairy tale endings, or that dramatic relationships are healthy, etc.)? Happy endings, that if you tried hard enough, love always prevailed. Are there any bands or artists that you were really into at one point but that you never listen to anymore, not even to reminisce? Ummm not that I recall? What are some wedding trends that you really dislike? If you can’t think of anything, have you ever seen something at a wedding that made you cringe? Ummm idk. Is there something that happened in high school that you’re still salty about (e.g., a bully getting credit for your work)? Nah, not that I can think of. When someone hurts your feelings or offends you are you more likely to lash out at them, quietly withdraw, or something else? Withdraw, but become pretty short and/or sarcastic. Do you read reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like? No. Do you listen to any podcasts? How do you listen to them? No. Does your skin bruise easily? Do you have any bruises right now? What from? Yes, and no. What’s your boss’s first name? Do you call him/her by that name? N/A Who was the last person you played a video game with? I played Pokemon with my niece and nephew. :') They loved it and I was a V PROUD aunt. Last game you played at an arcade? Who even knows. Last funeral you attended? Uhhhh. I don't remember. I want to say for my old babysitter, but that doesn't sound accurate... I swear I've been to one after. What was your favorite nursery rhyme as a child? Does the little piggy one count cuz I LOVED THAT SHIT with my mom. Who was your childhood hero? Steve Irwin. He's still a hero to me. What is your favorite cousin’s first name? I don't have a fave. What was the name of your first stuffed animal? Oh BOY, I couldn't tell you. It was a little bunny holding a polka-dot blanket. What was your least favorite food as a child? Idk. Where did your mother and father meet for the first time? At work. What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? I've no clue. What was your favorite place to visit as a child? THE ZOO BITCH TAKE ME AWAY Have you ever stayed in a cheap motel? No, I'm too much of a paranoid germaphobe to. What about a 5 star hotel? I highly doubt it. Have you ever gotten a massage? Not professionally. Have you ever given a massage? Yeah. Have you ever been to Disneyland or Disney World? The latter. What is the last gift you received and from who? A snake keychain Sara made. :') What are you currently dressed in? Skull pj pants with an Umbreon tank. Are you listening to any music right now? If so, what are you listening to? "Not The American Average" by Asking Alexandria slaps.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

[brightengale]

send me five times kissed for a drabble about five times our muses kissed - you pick which muse/s get the kisses x

@deadpoolxandxfriends

Such a long time coming. Warning the first one mentions some smutty things at the very end. The rest are all sfw and pretty cute if I do say so myself. Also these are barely proofed but hope they make sense. Love you babe!

Kiss # 1

The first time they kiss is unexpected, hard, needy, feverish even. Open mouthed with teeth bumping and more tongue than necessary. Grunts, whimpers, cries and moans bubbling up from throats, mingling in harmony with all other sounds of passionate fucking. An explosion of sexual tension built up over the past few hours, which is exactly how long they’ve known one another. Alison had heard stories about Bucky. Steve was a long time colleague, sometimes adversary, and they had grown closer in recent years, especially since she’d taken on her new role at S.H.I.E.L.D. Still, no matter his stories, the recountings from others or the things she’s read about in Bucky’s file, nothing quite prepares her for actually meeting him for the first time.

Her schedule had been all over the place that day. After finally slaying multiple mountains of paperwork Ali had changed into spare gym clothes and moseyed down to Avengers Tower’s state of the art exercise facility, fancying a workout before heading home to crash. It was sometime after midnight and she hadn’t expected to find anyone there. Harsh fluorescent lights glinting off silver metal had been a dead giveaway to his identity. For a few moments Alison found herself captivated by the way the muscles of his arms rippled beneath not only flesh but seemingly the metal as well as Bucky remained absorbed in pummeling a poor punching bag. Luckily for that bag it wasn’t facing Steve in a crabby mood. She’d heard Tony lament about buying stock with how often Steve destroyed them. Bucky appeared less intent on annihilating the bag than he was on tiring himself out.

Ali wasn’t sure how long she stood transfixed before finally clearing her throat but it would probably be an embarrassing number of minutes. If there had been more people around she may have just gotten on with her workout without interrupting but she’d been cooped up in her office for the past few hours and was craving some kind of personal interaction. Plus, somehow she’d yet to be introduced to the man, the myth, the legend.

“Wasn’t expecting anyone up this late.” Ali strode toward him confidently, hand extending outward when she was a few feet away and a beaming, friendly smile stretched across her face. “I’m Alison Blaire, SHIELD’s Mutant Liaison and friend of Steve’s. You must be Bucky. I’ve heard a bunch about you. Nice to finally meet you in person.” She was being overly chatty but couldn’t reign it back.

Apparently Steve had mentioned her to Bucky as well so things weren’t completely awkward. He’d shaken her hand and then they’d spent the following couple hours working out alongside one another. Alison didn’t make a habit of doing such elongated gym sessions but if she was being honest much of the time was spent ogling. Yeah it was probably a creeper thing to do and she wasn’t being shy or bashful about it. It lessened her guilt the few times she caught Bucky’s eyes lingering on her form. Attention she happily returned with a flirty smile. It had been months since she’d had a one night stand. Not a lot of time and no one who’d held her attention. Bucky was definitely holding her attention and after the second hour and fifth captured glance she’d stopped her jogging to approach him across the gym.

“It’s been a while so if I’m reading this wrong totally ignore me and let’s pretend what I’m about to say never happened, but I’m gonna hit the showers. You can join if you want. No strings, no awkwardness after, your call.” A few minutes later she’d found herself pressed up against the lockers with her fingers fisted in Bucky’s dark chestnut hair, legs around his waist, his hands cupping her ass, while his cock drove into her over and over. Cries of pleasure tumbling and lost between them by way of those feverish opened mouth kisses.

Kiss # 2

They’ve got this friends with benefits thing down. They get along great outside the bedroom and even better within it. Things are good. Which is exactly why anxiety is gnawing away at Alison. She’s waiting for the crash. There’s alway a crash. Months have passed and as they tick by they’re spending time more closely together. She’s turned down a night on the town with friends when she knew he’d be returning from a mission. Knowing he’ll call her when the debrief is over. It’s only been the once but she knows she’d do it again. Not like she hasn’t pulled him away from a party or two before. Alison knows this is dangerous and yet she lets it continue. The crash is going to be so so bad.

Cuddling after sex was a recent development. As was having sex in her apartment. In her bed. Red flag after red flag but Alison couldn’t help herself. There was more privacy here. And no reason to pay for a hotel room when she had a perfectly good apartment she was already paying for. It was logical. Lies she told herself to ignore how her heart rate spiked before something heavy settled in her gut each time he pulled away to dress and leave. Every time she scooted into the warm space he left and pulled the blankets closer beneath her chin while nuzzling the pillow he’d rested upon. She watched him dress in silence. Heaviness growing more and more pronounced in her belly with each passing second. Multiple times Alison bit her tongue to keep from speaking. There was no reason to ruin the great thing they had going.

Tonight was similar to all other nights before. Her heart rate spiked and that dense dread knotted in her stomach as Bucky pulled away. Alison’s arms around his torso tightened minutely. “Stay.” The word was barely a whisper and she immediately regretted it. Her breath caught as Bucky stilled.

“Sure?”

Breath still captive in her lungs Ali responded by nodding her head against his shoulder. Bucky reached to pull the comforter up over their bodies and relaxed back into the bed without more comment. Blanket settled in place both of his arms wrapped back around her. He kissed the top of her head and all the crushing anxiety within her released on a sigh. Alison’s head lifted, face pressing against the crook of his neck as she brushed a soft kiss there. Within moments sleep settled on them both.

Kiss # 3

“I did not!” Alison exclaimed, voice high with bashful indignance as she playfully pushed Bucky’s left shoulder. She was tucked between his side and one end of the couch, legs draped over his lap while Steve flanked his other side and Wade perched on the armrest behind her. Scrapper was curled up in Steve’s lap, head resting between Alison’s feet. Sam and Betsy were across from them on the love seat. Ororo, Thor, Natasha  and Wanda were also gathered around while other friends milled about, attention uncaptured by Bucky’s story.

“I swear you did. Didn’t think you’d ever let my hand go.” They were sharing memories and Bucky was lying-or maybe not lying-about how Alison had held onto his hand longer than appropriate during their first handshake.

“Lies! I held on the proper amount of time.” After lightly pushing his shoulder moments earlier Ali’s arm was draped behind him again.  “Maybe you were so awestruck by me time just stood still.” Her fingers idly toyed with his hair as she stared him down, daring him to rebuttal even as giggles tumbled between her grinning lips.

“Nah. You were the one awestruck, doll.” Her breath hitched and butterflies took flight in her belly as Bucky flashed her the grin that rarely failed to short circuit her brain and get him his way. Ali rolled her eyes to cover up just how devastatingly effective that smile was.

“Whatever, Barnes.” The words were a concession and he knew it, making that heart stopping grin widen. Shaking her head Alison leaned in hoping to kiss the look off his stupidly handsome face. No luck. With another eye roll Alison swept her gaze over the rest of the group. “Ok, next person!”

Kiss # 4

Alison’s hands massaged the conditioner into Bucky’s dark chestnut mane. It was becoming impossibly long but she enjoyed playing with it. A small groan floated from Bucky’s lips and he began to relax further, leaning back until he’d pressed Alison flush against the marble wall. Even with the warmth of the shower the wall remained cool, causing Ali to yelp when her bare body contacted it.

“Hey!” A giggle peeled from her lips as soapy fingers moved to his back muscles, pushing on him halfheartedly. “Stand up right. You’re heavy.” He was leaning back with some pressure but not admittedly not slumping his full weight against her.

“Can’t. Sleepy.”

“Tough titty, Barnes. I’m not carrying you to bed.” No matter that she technically could. Far easier than she could Steve or Wade at any rate. Their taller frames making the maneuver more difficult.

Bucky released a childish groan, body remaining where it was. Alison let out another delighted laugh as her hands slid down to playfully smack his butt. “Come on. Let’s rinse the conditioner then you can sit while I blow dry your hair.” She loathed anyone climbing into bed wet. There were few exceptions. Slowly, he stood properly, turning to wrap his arms around Alison before stepping backward beneath the spray. Each movement was punctuated by a zombie-esque groan as his eyes remained closed. Alison was beside herself with laughter at his antics.

“Boo-hoo you. How hard it is to stand and let your girlfriend wash tame your hair. However do you survive?” Ali lifted her arms to begin washing the lather from his locks.

“Kisses help.” Both corners of his mouth lifted in a smug smile.

“You’re awful.” Still Alison found herself leaning up to press a kiss to his nose. “That’s all you get.”

Bucky’s arms tightened around her waist. “For now.”

“I thought you were sleepy.”

“Maybe I’ll catch my second wind.” One of his eyes peeked to catch Ali rolling her eyes which prompted his smile to bloom larger. “I love you.”

“Yeah yeah.” Alison muttered while checking that his hair was thoroughly rid of all conditioner. “Love you too.”

Kiss # 5

Schedules were tight but the weather was too perfect to let slip by unappreciated. With no pressing missions on the docket she’d planned a vaycay for the five of them this weekend. Scrapper busied herself chasing the waves. Yipping as they receded from the shore before racing forward to pounce into them as they sloshed back. Her black and white fur was caked with saltwater and sand but she was having a blast. Almost as fun as Ali was having annihilating this game of volleyball. She and Steve were paired against Wade and Bucky and had beasted the past three sets.

“You’re cheating!”

“Hah! You wish Barnes.” Ali scoffed, catching her breath after the latest point had been earned. “It’s called skills, baby.” She beamed at him from across the net, hands on her hips.

“Yeah. Cheating skills.” Bucky tossed back. The sun was beating down hard by now and they’d been going hard for close to ninety minutes. Even he was winded.

Steve scooped up the wayward volleyball, shaking his head at their bickering and calling out for Scrapper who immediately abandoned the water to race to his side. There was no telling how long they’d stand there squabbling so he was headed back to their cabana.

“Don’t be a spoilsport, Duckaroo. It’s not cute.”

“Ooooh. Sparkles is throwing out Duckaroo. It’s about to get wild folks.” Wade interjected, thoroughly enjoying the banter. Bucky tossed him a withering glare while Ali burst into laughter. The glare did nothing to damper Wade’s own mirth. “Don’t be such a sourpuss, Duckaroo.”  Wade stole a quick kiss from Buck before grabbing one from Alison who’d rounded the net mere moments before. “It was a good game, so you two make up. I’m going to catch up with Captain Hottie and see if I can reapply his sunscreen. Oh Captain, my Captain!”

Alison continued to giggle as Wade jogged to catch up with Steve then linked their fingers to walk hand in hand toward the cabana while whispering in his ear. She glanced up at Buck who’s dour expression had melted into a fond smile watching the scene unfold too. “See, that’s cute.”

“Yeah.”

“I meant that dopey grin on your face.” Alison looped her arms around his right arm as he protested.

“It’s not dopey.”

“From where I’m standing it was. Wish I’d had my phone.”

Bucky scoffed and began walking after their other two lovers, previous argument forgotten.

“Wait.” Ali stopped, keeping Bucky close as she reached out to turn his head toward her. Her lips brushed against his, feather light before pressing more firmly. Her fingers slid along his scruffy jaw into damp hair which she gently tugged encouraging him to tilt his head and deepen the kiss. Her tongue darted against his tongue, coaxing his lips open to slip inside his mouth. After teasing a deep moan from him Alison pulled back just enough to press her forehead against his. The hand not in his hair had moved from around his arm to rest against his hip. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Bucky replied, that fond smile returning to his face.

“Even though we kicked your ass at volleyball fair and square?” Ali teased with a wicked grin.

Now it was Bucky’s turn to roll his eyes as he slung his right arm across Alison’s shoulders and began walking again. “You’re a punk.”

“Still love me.”

“Always.”

#deadpoolxandxfriends #deadpoolxandxfriends: bucky #awesome foursome #drabbles #✶flick of the wrist • bucky #❥ sometimes you get what you need || bucky • ali || #long post #skullpoolwriter

[artificialqueens]

To New Hytes (Group-fic) 7/? - Mac

AN: Again, all my love to Meggie and Grapefruit for betaing and being amazing humans. Also, I took some liberties with Russain politics….

Summary: Kameron and Blair talk about their past, Scarlet is acting strange, Trixie uncovers Katya’s secret, and Brooke is having girl problems.

Kameron made it a habit of dancing late at night. After all the other dancers were gone after the moon was high in the sky.

She let herself dance.

Sometimes Blair would come watch.

It had become almost routine for them.

Blair would sit in the audience and cheer and applaud like a lunatic. Other times she would draw in her sketchbook and smile as Kameron tried to figure out what turn came next, or what would look better, a jump or a dip.

Even if Blair was just napping quietly, she always made Kameron’s heart soar.

Tonight was one of those nights where Blair sat, bleary-eyed, sketchbook in hand, staring up at Kameron like she was the most beautiful creature on earth.

Kameron finished her performance with a dramatic bow just to make Blair laugh. Kameron liked the sound of Blair’s laugh. Like pretty much everything about Blair.

The older girl hopped off the stage and crawled over the first few rows of seats to come sit a row in front of the young designer, straddling the old theatre seat backwards so she could see Blair’s smile.

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment before Blair spoke in her soft voice. “I made somethin’ for ya.”

“Oh yeah? For me?”

“Well, I mean, I ain’t made it yet, but I drawn it.”

Blair turned the notebook in her hands around to show Kameron.

It was her. It was her, styled in one of the most beautiful dresses Kameron had ever seen. She was being dramatic, sure - but despite the small size of the gesture it filled her heart with joy.

And it was her, not just some model for the gown, it was Kameron. All 5 feet 11 inches of her. All muscles bulging out in a way that always made her a bit self-conscious. She didn’t feel self-conscious now, she felt… beautiful.

The dress was gorgeous. Long flowing blue fabric that looked like it floated out around her legs, the sweetheart neckline delicately clinging to her body in all the right places. The silver flecks from Blair’s pencil littered the dress with a glimmer, a shine that somehow seemed to add depth to the otherwise simple drawing.

But the details in her eyes were what really made Kameron melt.

They were deep brown, but still somehow shifted in the light. They spoke of pencil shavings and barely-there eraser marks, and time.

Kameron didn’t have words, she tried and failed to find words that weren’t going to scare Blair away.

That’s when she took notice of the pad Blair was sketching on.

It was the same one filled with sketch after sketch of Brianna.

Blair seemed to realize this at the same time Kameron did.

“I ran outta paper so I had ta use this one.”

“Yeah, sure,” Kameron spoke, trying not to let the jealousy and anger seep into her words. She stood up, making her way back to the stage, the lightness in her chest dimmed with every step she took.

“Kameron, what’s wrong?” Blair called after her.

“I’m not her,” Kameron said, not hiding the contempt in her voice any longer.

“I’m not sayin’ you are. Kameron, darlin’, listen-”

“No, angel. If you were hoping I’d wake up one day and be her, be a bitch to you, it’s not gonna happen. I would never do that to you. Never. I would never hurt you like that. I’d never hurt you period.”

“I know, Kameron, please I know.”

“I haven’t ever felt this way for somebody before.” Kameron softened her voice as she spoke mostly to herself. “I want to keep you safe.”

“You do.” Blair stood up, moving to stand within an arm’s reach of Kameron.

“No, clearly I don’t. You wouldn’t feel the need to put on the back of the page of your ex then.”

Blair was silent.

She looked up at Kameron, who sighed and sat down on the stage so they could look at each other.

Kameron took Blair’s hands in her own, trying to ground them both. “You think you’re ready but you aren’t. I’m tellin’ you, angel. You gotta believe me on this one.” Kameron tucked a piece of Blair’s hair behind her ear, and the younger girl smiled sadly as Kameron’s hand lingered for a moment before slowly falling from her face.

Blair rested her head on Kameron’s thigh. It was an awkward position, with Blair standing nearly bent in half to be close to the older girl, but she didn’t mind. Kameron trailed her fingers lightly through the long blonde waves, perfectly soft and sweet, perfectly representative of the girl it belonged to.

“What happened?” Blair asked softly after a bit of silence. “Why’d ya stop dancin’? You love it, clearly, you do.” Kameron’s fingers stopped, and for a moment Blair thought she’d overstepped. But her fingers continued their small caresses a moment later.

Kameron sighed. “We were fucking around in our theatre. The one we have now. Brooke and I had just finished signing the lease and we couldn’t wait a damn minute to celebrate. It doesn’t look the same now as it did back then. It was old, probably the oldest thing in town. Tech hadn’t been looked at, I mean, we had hardly looked at the damn thing. We were young, we thought we knew everything.”

Kameron breathed in and out, and Blair took her head off her lap to intertwine their fingers. “A stage light fell on me. It was old. We shoulda fucking checked before doing anything stupid.”

“We were dancing, fucking around, making our dream come true. And there was this loud crack and it fell. Right on my foot, shattered the thing up to my ankle pretty much. I fell on the stage and banged up my head real good. Doctors said I’d never walk again. Said I had a brain bleed.”

“Oh my god.”

“Yeah. I went through months and months of therapy, physical and otherwise. They told me not to push it, but I did. I pushed every day to walk again. To get the chance to dance again.” Kameron smiled. “They said I couldn’t ever be that strong again. So I spent my life proving them wrong. I worked out every day, ate so healthy. I got my body to where it is today and I’m strong… physically.”

Kameron paused. “Not so much on the inside, but that’s a work in progress.”

“Oh darlin’, you’re the strongest person I know.” Blair squeezed her hands and tilted Kameron’s face down to meet her eyes. “Thank you for tellin’ me.”

“Do you believe me when I say you aren’t ready to handle all this yet? You need to take time for yourself, figure out what it is you want. I’ll be here when you figure it out.”

“I believe ya,” Blair said. And she meant it. “But I also know that I got feelins’ for you.”

Kameron’s smile took over her face, but she tried to school it. This wasn’t about her right now. This was about Blair. “I’m not saying you gotta stop, actually please don’t stop liking me, it feeds my ego.”

Blair laughed a bit.

Kameron held Blair’s face in her hands. “I think I’m falling in love with you too, angel, and I’m scared, ‘cause the last time I fell in love with something I was told I’d never walk again.”

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere, Kameron. You got me.”

Kameron nodded and took her hands off Blair’s face before she could do anything stupid.

Blair smiled sadly at the gesture but tried to not let it show as she made her way out of the theatre.  

“Hey, angel?” Kameron called after her.

Blair whipped around.

“I’ll be here.”

Blair smiled. “I know.”

…

Yvie was perched atop the couch in her dressing room, Scarlet coming in every five minutes to double-check that she really was feeling better and had not, in fact, changed her mind at the last second.

“Scar, honey, you’re making me nervous with how much you’re pacing. I’m fine.”

“Yves, don’t you think you should take a break? I’m sure Nina wouldn’t mind letting you off for a few cities.”

“Scar, I wanna stay. I have to stay.”

“You have to recover and take it easy. You keep pushing yourself this hard and you’re gonna get really hurt.”

“I know. I know.” Yvie dismissed.

Scarlet lingered by the door, looking on as Yvie tied up the laces on her shoes. “We could make a mini-vacation out of it,” Scarlet suggested. “Go back to Albany. Have some time away. I think it would put some things into perspective.” Scarlet paused. “For both of us.”

Yvie looked up warily. “Scar, what are you saying?”

Scarlet wouldn’t meet Yvie’s eyes. “Nothing, I just thought it would be nice.”

“Miss Envy!”

Scarlet turned on her heel and walked quickly to the door at the sound of her name being called.

“Wait, no Scar-”

“It’s fine. Just rest.” Scarlet spoke with a small soft smile as she closed the door behind her.

Yvie tried not to get too in her head about what the fuck just happened. She had a show to do. She couldn’t focus on Scarlet’s recent weird behavior. Her overbearingness on Yvie suddenly, her reluctance to sleep, her frankly panicked tone of voice. And now this.

Scarlet was always the work-driven one. She never took sick days, never took more than a thirty-minute nap, and always had her phone on her. She was a machine when it came to this company. The fact that she was willingly suggesting that they take time off was more than a bit worrying.

Yvie brushed it off for now, but the little voice in the back of her head said this was the beginning of the end.

Yvie ignored it and proceeded to get ready for the show.

…

Trixie smiled at her phone for the millionth time that hour.

K: I’ll be seeing you soon

Katya had sent it hours ago, and yet Trixie was still staring at it like the message would change. Like it would disappear along with Katya herself and the whole thing would just be some big joke at her expense.

But the text didn’t disappear. Nor the memories of their wild adventure nearly a month ago.

The memories stuck in her brain, along with Katya’s name. Her full name. Trixie couldn’t get it out of her head.

Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova

She was sounding the letters out in her head over and over again on a loop when an idea suddenly hit her. Back ram-rod straight and eyes wide as she grabbed at her computer.

She was curious, so she spelled - to the best of her abilities - Katya’s name, her real name. No results were found at first, so after twenty or so minutes of putting her computer analytics degree to the test and fucking around with google translate, she finally got some results.

But the results that came up were all of some Russian princess who had gone missing a few years back. Trixie nearly gave up on the whole venture, but a strange curiosity got the better of her and she clicked on the first article.

She came face to face with her Russian lover.

Wait. What?

Katya, her Katya, the one with the frizzy dye job and horrible fashion and mysterious past was splayed all over countless magazines.

Trixie put each of the titles in the translator, each title confirming the sinking feeling in her stomach.

“Russia’s Lost Queen”

“Princess and Duke to Wed in May”

“Beloved Ruler Goes Missing”

“Three Years Later: The Effects of the Disappearance”

Trixie doesn’t think twice about calling Katya.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what, myshka?”

“Don’t call me that, I’m not a mouse.”

“Oh, so you are ‘mad’ mad.”

“You bet your fuckin ass I’m mad.” Trixie paused. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I guess cursing at the fucking Princess of Russia is frowned upon.”

“There is no official royalty in Russia,” Katya said without missing a beat, but the usual joy in her voice was gone, instead it was replaced with an impassive coldness.

“Tell that to all the news outlets calling you the ‘missing future queen’”

"Russia is a republic, the royal family is just a title. Most people don’t even know of the royal family because they are insignificant.”

“It says you have a say in all laws passed and that you can veto whatever you feel like."

“Which I have never done.”

“So it’s true?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You might as well have.”

“Listen, Trix-”

“Is it true you’re engaged too?”

“I was, yeah, but the law legally absolves the engagement after five years.”

Trixie laughed but there was no joy in it.

“You’re the future heir to the Russian throne! You’re engaged! You’re acting like these aren’t important things to tell someone!”

“I was waiting until we got married.”

Trixie didn’t laugh.

“Listen, myshka, it isn’t what it seems.“

“Really? ‘Cause it seems like you lied to me. Lied from the minute I met you.”

“Trixie, please, can you just listen to me for a moment, pozhaluysta?”

Trixie hung up the phone before Katya could convince her to stay on the line.

…

Blair ran through her list one more time with Monet who was rolling her eyes and assuring her that they got everything.

They were back in their home theatre for a week before heading back off to hit the western US cities. Blair saw this as a perfect opportunity to take care of a few ghosts from her past.

Monet nodded once, twice, three times, telling Blair it really was fine.

“What did you say you were going to California for?” Vanessa spoke, as she sat up from her position on Blair’s couch.

“Just some business that needs tendin’ to. I’ll be back ‘fore you know it.”

“You ain’t about to walk out on us, now are you, Miss Blair?”

“Of course not. I could never walk out on you, baby.” Blair threw a wink at Vanessa who fake swooned and fell dramatically back against the couch.

Blair giggled.

She hugged Monet, who gave her a knowing smile.

Blair leaned down to give Vanessa a peck on the cheek, but of course, Vanessa tried to turn her head and get a real kiss. Blair just laughed harder and chastised her lightly “I’m a lady after all,” she joked.

Blair left the theatre slowly, trying not to take notice of the crew members as they passed by her.

She hailed a cab and before she knew it, she was standing outside a gorgeous theatre in San Francisco.

It was one of those fancy old theatres that were reminiscent of Old Hollywood. The glamour and elegance practically dripped off the walls. If Blair weren’t here for a very specific purpose, she would have started snapping pictures to sketch out later.

For now, though, she was being escorted by a security team through the back passages of the gorgeous theatre, and she hardly had a moment to think before she was face to face with a woman she hadn’t seen in person for nearly three years.

“What are you doing here?”

If to further rub salt in old wounds, Brianna’s tone was harsh and demanding.

“I came to see you.”

“Why?”

So nothing had changed.

Blair smiled to herself and knew then that it was truly over. Whatever they had, it had ended a long time ago, but now, now it was over.

“How are the costumes coming?” Blair ignored her question.

“What are you really doing here? Here to scope out the competition?”

“No. Jesus. Do ya really think so lowly of me?”

“Answer my fucking question.” Briana was drunk. Or high. One of the two. Blair used to be able to distinguish between them, but now, now it was like she was talking to a stranger.

“I just needed some closure. After everything.” Blair fought the urge to wring her hands. “We never really talked about it. ”

Brianna’s eyes flashed dangerously at the mention of their past. She looked around to the other people in the room. “Out.” She demanded.

They made themselves scarce.

Brianna sighed as the scrambling entourage took just long enough for her to take another swig from her water bottle, and Blair was positive now there wasn’t water in it.

Brianna sighed again and attempted to stand up and get closer to Blair. She bailed on that idea when she noticed she could barely walk. She sat back down, none too gracefully, and rubbed her forehead worriedly.

“I know what I did to you was shitty.” She paused, and Blair held her breath, hoping she’d get the apology she had so craved these past few years. “But it made me, baby.” Brianna held her arms out to the room around her. “It made me so much more than I was ever gonna be if I stayed.”

Blair didn’t bite back a bitter laugh at the words. “We all make choices in life, but usually we take a minute to think ‘bout other people’s feelins before we do shit like that.”

“I know.”

“No, ya don’t know. You cared ‘bout your career, trust me, I get it. But you never thought ‘bout mine. Not once in your whole plan did you ever imagine me makin’ it big with you. Did ya?”

“No.” It wasn’t said with any particular emotion attached to it, it was just… the truth. Brianna hadn’t ever thought they would make it. Hadn’t ever considered the possibility that they could have worked out.

Blair’s demeanor changed. She plastered on her most professional smile and spoke her next words calmly. “That’s all I came here for. Thank you, Mrs. Panandrani. Good luck with your show tonight.”

“Blair wait-”

But by the time Brianna could stand firmly on her feet, Blair was already out the door.

…

Kameron walked up the familiar stairs to Brooke and Nina’s office.

She smiled at the old scuff mark on the third stair from the top. She still distinctly remembered how Monet had unknowingly walked on the fresh coat of paint and left a trail of brown footprints all over the backstage area.

Kameron shook her head lightly, she didn’t have time for reminiscing. She knocked twice on the office door and let herself in.

“Hey, Kam. What’s up?” Brooke said, not looking up from her computer.

Kameron didn’t even take a breath before she started on her spiel. “I wanna join the company. I know I said I wasn’t ready but I am now. I wanna be up there. I know I’m not up to date on all the dances, but I can learn them. I can do it. Just give me a chance, B. Please.”

Brooke had to ask her to repeat herself once, twice, then one more time because she was crying.

Brooke couldn’t pull Kameron into her arms fast enough.

The two hugged and squealed and generally let themselves rejoice in the fact that after all this time, their dream, their original dream was happening.

Brooke pulled back but stayed close to Kameron, the safety she felt in the younger girl’s presence spurred her on.

“This is perfect timing actually, cause I’m gonna be gone for a bit and I need someone to take my spot in the lineup.”

“Where’re you going on such late notice, Miss Boss Lady?”

Brooke looked at the floor, her hands were clasping and unclasping with her breath. “It’s not a big deal, just need to check up on some things. See the cats, you know.”

Kameron pulled up a chair as Brooke rambled, nodding unconvincingly.

“What did she do?” Kameron probed.

Brooke sighed but couldn’t hide the smile on her face. Of course, Kameron knew. Who didn’t know?

“She didn’t do anything.”

“And that’s the problem.”

Brooke nodded. She may be incredibly obvious, but still. It was nice that she didn’t have to say anything. It was nice that Kameron just knew. Knew what she needed. It wasn’t that Brooke couldn’t talk to Nina or Monet, but those two were still so wrapped up in their honeymoon phase that she didn’t want to bother them with her own spiraling emotions.

“Have you talked to her?”

“What am I supposed to say?”

“‘Hey, Vanessa, I think I’m in love with you’ would probably get the point across.”

“I’m not in love with her! Jesus, no.”

Kameron gave her a withering stare.

“Okay then. How about ‘Hey Vanessa, I really like fucking you and I only want to do that. I don’t think about holding your hand or sleeping next to you or stealing kisses in between rehearsal or going on stupid cheesy dates with you. Nope. Just wanna bang you. That’s all.’”

“This isn’t funny, Kameron.”

“I’m amusing myself. Shall I go on?”

“Look. It’s not love. It can’t be that. I’ve only known her for-”

“Ten months.”

Had it been ten months? Already? It felt like weeks since the ball of chaos and energy that was Vanessa first graced their stage.

“I’ve only really gotten to know her in the past few weeks. And even still I don’t really know her.”

“You know what her pussy tastes like but not her middle name. Gotcha.”

“Not helping, Kam.”

“Sorry, sorry. Look B. I think you like her, and I know for you that’s new, but this is how we regular folk do things. We go up to the person, we ask them out, we keep doing that for a few weeks, then hopefully we start fucking each other’s brains out.”

“Jesus, Kam.”

“It seems like you guys skipped the first couple steps, but that’s okay. That’s fine.”

Brooke bit her lip, not sure what to say.

“Look, B. I know you haven’t done this before, had proper feelings. You had girls in your bed nearly every night in college, but you never really cared about them. Now I dunno if that was you not letting yourself get attached or what, but it was always just-”

“-me and you.”

“Me and you.” Kameron echoed.

Brooke smiled sadly; it spoke her next words for her. “You know I thought I loved you for a little while in there.”

“I know.”

They shared a private smile, no words were spoken, but an understanding passed between them. They both knew. They both had known.

The unspoken words were a mixture of ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘It’s fine’ and ‘I love you.’

“We never woulda worked. You know they say don’t mix business with pleasure.” Kameron shot her a wink.

The moment was broken and Brooke was left with her mouth hanging open at Kameron’s comment.

“What’s gotten into you recently?”

Kameron just smiled and shook her head. “Nothing, I’m just happy is all.”

“Well, cut it out. It’s giving you a personality. It’s weird.”

Kameron smacked her arm lightly.

“Ow, bitch.”

The first playful hit quickly devolved into a full-on fight, with Brooke and Kameron running around the small office space in the upstairs of a theatre they bought through their blood sweat and tears with a company they had built together.

And there they were. Acting like children.

Brooke swore she had never been happier.

#rpdr fanfiction #group fic #mac #to new hytes #branjie #scyvie #ninex #blair x kameron #trixya #slow burn #fluff #angst #lesbian au #brooke lynn hytes #nina west #vanessa vanjie mateo #monet x change #scarlet envy #yvie oddly #akeria davenport #kameron michaels #blair st clair #violet chachki #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova

[nightwingshero]

For Blair and Veronica, maroon, peach, amber, and honey :)

Omg, Blair and Veronica!!! Yessss! Thank you hun!!! It’s uh...under the cut, and normally I would separate them out in different sections for each character...but they apparently wanted to interact with each other...which is a bit amusing, considering they’re both technically DC, but in very different universes (and medias). I am so sorry lol 

Send me a shade of color for my oc(s) to answer!

Maroon - What are you most passionate about?

Blair: “Oh! Space and physics. Well...I guess just science in general? I love figuring out problems and equations, which comes in handy often at S.T.A.R. Labs and on the Waverider. But I’ve always loved space, my dad and I would spend hours in our backyard with a telescope! I can map out all the constellations and name all the planets and their moons. And a lot more...this is usually the part where the you say ‘neerrrd’.”

Veronica: “Passionate about? Phew, not sure. I mean, I love music. I kinda miss my band. But I suppose I’m passionate about helping people--”

Blair: “Oh, add that one to mine too! Helping people...kinda comes with the hero gig.”

Veronica: “Yeah, but you’ve said yours, so it doesn’t count--”

Blair: “It totally counts!”

Veronica: “I guess just my chosen family and saving people. It changes for me, you know? It used to be stealing pretty stuff, but well, people change. I just love working with Dinah and the team.”

Blair: “Wait...my Dinah or your Dinah?”

Veronica: *sigh*

Peach - Are you generally a more gentle and soft spoken person or a louder and rougher person?

Blair: I’m definitely the former. I speak softly and gentle unless I’m mad, but even then my tone is just...soft. My voice can become stern when I’m frustrated. But it can be a bit...harder than normal when I get pushed past my limit. I can be loud, though, especially when excited. I just naturally have a soft voice.”

Veronica: Right. Well, I’m more loud and rough, if I’m being honest. Don’t get me wrong, I can be quiet--trained by Catwoman and Batman, remember? So I know how to sneak around and be silent. But most of the time, I like things loud, I’m a loud person. You should have seen Alfred’s face when I used the Manor as a place to practice for my band...or any of the other times Jay and I did something disruptive...”

Amber - Do you wield any sort of superpower? If so, what is it?

Blair: *nervous laugh* “About that...”

Veronica: “Oh boy...”

Blair: “Okay, so, it wasn’t my fault...even though I did help with making the Particle Accelerator--” 

Veronica: “And apparently helping it explode, then?”

Blair: “Shush. So...I can actually manipulate energy with my mind and...hands...? It actually manifests around my hands...which is...I guess cool...? It’s pretty to look at, especially when I make energy fields, kinda like shields, they look like...moving nebulas, blues and purples. Really pretty. But well...there are moments--rare moments--where I lose control and the atmosphere around me just turns to into space-like conditions. I’ve sucked the oxygen out of a room and made the temperature just...plummet. But I’ve had it do the opposite only once, where I turned it into uh...a star? It was kinda like a solar flare, but not. It was just...really bright and hot. Don’t tell Mick, he’ll get excited and try to poke it out of me.”

Veronica: “Metas...right, no, I don’t have a superpower. I’m just really good at fighting and stealing things. I took ballet, gymnastics, and even was on the swim team for a minute. So I’m flexible and can fight pretty well--Batman and Black Canary made sure of it. So I guess...yeah, I’m just a regular human.”

 Blair: “I mean, who is really normal, though?”

Honey - Have you ever considered marrying someone? What is your opinion on marriage in general?

Blair: “Oh...so, I mean...I was engaged once, her name was Carmen, and she left before I woke from my coma--”

Veronica: “That’s pretty cold. And super shitty. Who is this?”

Blair: “Right, so, I did consider marrying her. But...I don’t know, there was someone else. Leonard...mentioned, you know, thinking about life after the Vandal Savage stuff. The future for him, for me...for us. And I mean, yeah, I considered it, I could see it...until you know, he sacrificed himself. But when Barry did Flashpoint, I asked what it was like, just to see, even though the others didn’t want to know...and it just...for Barry to tell me that in an alternate timeline, Leonard and I were actually engaged was just...it hurt at first, because I wanted that. But then the more I thought about it, the more hollow it felt. I would rather have something real, in the timeline I currently live in. So...yeah, I would consider marrying someone, and I hope maybe one day I can have it.”

Veronica: “...what? What kind of...what?”

Blair: “Listen, it’s a bit complicated and Captain Cold isn’t--”

Veronica: “CAPTAIN COLD? Are you--?”

Blair: “Things are DIFFERENT in my verse, thank you!”

Veronica: “What the fu--yeah, no, I’m not...okay, back to the question. I’m not against marriage, it sounds like something that would be very nice, but I never really thought it was in the cards for me, you know? I may or may not have feelings for someone--”

Blair: “Dick Grayson--”

Veronica: “Shut it. But I mean, it never became a thing, he was dating Babs when I left, so...

Blair: “And now...?”

Veronica: “Well...I mean, I did just pack up and leave in the middle of the night without really telling anybody. I left Selina a note, though. There’s that. So I think it would be a bit awkward to just hop back randomly in his life after pulling that. He’s probably hurt because I skipped out of town without a word. Can’t blame him.”

Blair: “I feel...like, you’re going to have to face that at some point. You’ll end up in...”

Veronica: “Gotham.”

Blair: “Gotham...really? I know Star City is bad, but Gotham? I heard its way worse.”

Veronica: “You live in Star City?”

Blair: “From Central City, lived in Star City, might be moving back to Central City. But the point is, you never know, you might find yourself having to bounce back to Gotham. Time wants to happen, my friend, and it’s probably going to want you to face your past.”

Veronica: “You a psychologist or something?”

Blair: “Astrophysicist.” 

Veronica: “...Right.”

#oc: blair chambers #oc: veronica sterling #arrowverse #batman #my ocs #asks

[franeridart]

Didn't they all take the practical exam at the same time in the manga?? I'm confused....

Yeah, they changed that part orz I’m really unhappy about that for a number of reasons, but I guess their reasoning was that they wanted the anime to end with the Baku Deku vs All Might fight and in the manga that’s, like, the second fight to be done with? And if they had kept the order the anime would have ended with Mineta and Sero, so… I guess I get why they went for this, but still. I can’t say I like it orz

Anon said:I’m sure you’re expecting this ask but kiribaku study date!! :3 I can’t believer Bakugou ACTUALLY tried to beat the learning into kirishima XD

Well, it’s beginning-of-the-story-Bakugou after all, what else could we even expect from him hahaha Kirishima passed the written part tho, so it must have worked!!

Anon said:Wait hold up you’ve got me interested now. So I’m like a little past halfway through soul eater and I haven’t started the manga YET (I totally will now that you’ve suggested it) but… When did tsubaki turn into a boy??

It doesn’t happen in the anime! It’s ch 72 to… 74? 75? They go somewhere where all the girls get turned into boys and vice versa for a while! (That’d be Soul, Maka, Blair, Black Star, Tsubaki, Liz, Patty, Kilik, Thunder and Fire) (Liz and Patty look especially amusing lmao)

Anon said:what do u think abt kats*deku???? If u dont ship them - why?

I’m pretty sure I gave an in depth answer to this question a couple of times already, but do you think I’ve been able to find it? (I haven’t) so to make a fast recap, I only like them as friends, nothing sexual and nothing romantic - I really, really, really want to see them become friends, but I can’t see the necessary chemistry for any other kind of relationship between them, right now

And that’s also why I don’t ship it? I just can’t see it working in a way such that both of them are as happy as they can be, and I only ship if I can see both characters being happy in the relationship - foundamentally Bakugou and Izuku are different on all the wrong things, a big part of the reason why they fight so much is that their ways of living are different, to make a space for each other in their lives big enough that they won’t step on each other’s toes every two steps they take they should change their core personalities a lot. 

And I’m not talking about Bakugou, specifically, I’m talking about both of them. I do know that the fandom likes to pick Bakugou and turn his personality inside-out to make him fit with Deku in such a way that Deku will be happy, but realistically that’s only gonna make Bakugou miserable. It’s true that most faults rest on Bakugou’s shoulders as far as their relationship goes, but Deku isn’t the sort of person fit to be with Bakugou either - and I can’t have Bakugou make a 180° on his personality, force himself to be someone he’s not, just to accomodate Deku. I like Bakugou as he is, and I want to see him grow up while growing into himself. And while I do prefer Bakugou as a character, I happen to like Deku as he is very much as well, I don’t want him to turn into another person just to accomodate Bakugou’s personality either

So this turns into “either I change these two characters to make them fit together, or I let them be just friends and actually find characters that do fit with them as they are already”, and personally, I’m always gonna go for the second option. I mean, why would I want to ship them when I can ship bakushima t b h

Of course you’re free to ship it if to you the chemistry is more obvious than it is to me! It’s just not my cup of tea at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anon said:Could I possibly see a comic with Kirishima being tied between Ashido and Bakugo??? I thought it’d be cute since some people *cough cough* me *cough* may or may not be tied between Kirimina and Bakushima. :3

I………….. can’t do that, sorry orz triangles aren’t my thing at all. It’s either the polyship or bakushima, triangles get on my nerves more than any other plot device does to be completely honest with you. Triangles are the bane of my existence

Anon said: Hi there! I just wanted to say I’ve been scrolling through all your Bakushima art for ages and it’s healed me :,) fr tho i lov how you portray them and their dynamic and you have a lovely art style! Thank you for blessing us ahah

AHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOD!!!!! (●´□`)♡

Anon said:hey there! just wanted to drop by and let you know that I find your art super inspiring? like i am IN LOVE with your art style, and I absolutely adore it. i love how the characters you draw have perfect expressions, i love how natural their poses look and i love how you portray characters friendships + relationships in comics it feels completely natural. even if im not into the stuff you draw, i love looking at it because its so great?? keep being wonderful because you deserve good things ^u^

Holy shit thank you??? I honest to god don’t know how to answer this??? means a lot??? fuck thank you I might go and cry for a bit ( •̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥ )

Anon said:Hey your art of sero carry bakugou give me life honestly good posts all around

Thank you!!!! :O Sero carrying Bakugou is something I myself need more of in my life tbh hahaha what a good concept I should draw more

Anon said:your latest bakugou I’m crying… he’s gorgeous and Buff and strong and could highkey bench press me I’m swooning

GLAD YOU LIKED HIM!!!!! :O you guys actually liked that one WAY more than I thought anyone would holy smokes!!

Anon said:Umm… I hope you don’t mind, but I showed a friend so e of your work, and I think it got you a new follower lol they really liked what I showed, and when I told them you do Kaminari, too, that was that. Can’t talk fave artists, without you 💜✌

:O !!!!!!!!!!!! why would I mind omfg, thank you so much!!!!!

Anon said:Okay, now I’ve been through your account since 2 hours ago, i can say I’m officially Bakushimanari trash. Omg i had never seen something as good as what you did to these three. (Btw sorry if my english’s not very good, but i had to say this)

!!!! Happy you liked them!!!!! They’re a good group, those three (灬ºωº灬)♡

Anon said: Yesterday was a shitty day, but today I woke up and saw your art, and stalked your blog, so I feel today will be a much better day. Happy boys are good. Never stop making happy boys happy.

I hope your day was actually a great one, anon!! And I hope today was great for you as well!!! And thank you so much for liking my stuff, happy boys are indeed my greatest weakness and favorite subject to draw haha happy boys and girls and nb and anything else too, really, happy people are good for my soul~

Anon said:Someone doesn’t know Soul Eater?! Now I feel old (・・;)

Haha, well it’s not really about being old/young as much as it’s about how long one’s been into anime/how far back they go when they decide to watch something new~ Soul Eater hasn’t had an active fandom for ages now, after all!

#fran answers #between the reasons why i don't like that they changed the exam there's exactly the fact that now they're not the second finish anymore #and the fact that izuku's level of nerdiness is being cut here #boy's weak and beaten down and barely awake #recovery girl tells him 'go rest' and he's like 'uh no actually let me nerd out here a bit more can you' #that's??? amazing?????? izuku you disaster???? #i love him i'm sad that's not gonna happen in the anime #sigh #anonymous