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ckret2 · 5 months

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Chapter 28 of human Bill is determined to wiggle out of being the Mystery Shack's prisoner, featuring:

Bill eagerly accepts an invitation to Gravity Falls' LGBTQ club. He is not allowed to go unsupervised. Stan (whose masculinity isn't secure enough for this), Ford (who's still hanging out in the closet), and Soos (who's engaged) aren't quite sure what to do. Luckily, Wendy's been looking for an excuse to go.

####

Melody rushed up to the cash register and said breathlessly, "Hey Wendy—I know it's almost your break, but could you stay on register just a little longer? Two of the baby dragons escaped and Soos and I have to find them before the next tour."

Wendy looked at the customers milling about the gift shop. They'd all just gotten out of a tour and were looking over the available souvenirs, which meant in just a few minutes they'd all be lining up to check out. "Ooh, I dunno. I'm pretty hungry..."

"Please, Wendy? You can take an extended lunch!"

Was that worth handling one extra post-tour rush? "Wiiith p—?"

"With pay, you extortionist." There was no real resentment in Melody's voice. She'd worked register duty. She understood.

"Okay, deal."

"Wendy you're a lifesaver." Melody hurried to the curtains to the Mystery Shack museum.

"Hey," Wendy called, "which ones escaped?"

"Orochi and Ryuu."

"Aww, not Oro. That sweet guy will get eaten alive in the real world."

"Right?" Melody turned on her phone flashlight and returned to the hunt.

A deeply tanned tourist with sun-damaged wrinkles approached the cash register. She wasn't holding any souvenirs. Wendy said, "Hey, how can I help you?"

She looked straight in Wendy's eyes and said, "The sun sets a deep blood red."

Wendy stared at her. Why did this place attract the weirdest customers. "What?"

Very clearly, the tourist repeated, "The sun sets a deep blood red."

"Um. If that's some kind of reference, I don't get it."

The tourist let out that sharp little nose-sigh soccer moms made when Wendy did things like refuse to take a coupon meant for a rival tourist trap, shook her head in disappointment, and left.

Wendy got the feeling she was going to regret staying on register.

Sure enough, within five minutes, the line started forming—and on top of that, Wendy discovered, the cash register drawer had jammed shut, preventing her from making change for the customers paying in cash. She was in the middle of explaining to the fourth increasingly irate child-toting customer that he either had to pay by card or in exact change, when two more customers came in the door and made a beeline for the register.

"Wendy Corduroy?"

"Hey," Wendy said tersely, stuffing a customer's t-shirts in a bag. "There's a line."

"We're not shopping, Miss Corduroy."

Wendy turned to face Sheriff Blubs, with Deputy Durland standing close behind him. The scratch cards. Her fake ID. She was going to jail. Dad was gonna find out about her tattoo. "Oh."

Durland said, "Could we ask you some questions?"

"Uhh..." She looked at the cops, and then at the growing line of customers. "Can I... grab someone to cover?"

####

Bill had been sitting at the kitchen table looking at the doorway, waiting for Wendy to appear for several minutes, when he heard her muttering, "Shoot, shoot, shoot..." from the living room. Here she came.

"Hey, Cool Girl. What's the hurry?"

"Goldie!" Wendy turned toward the kitchen. "Have you seen Dipper or Mabel? The cops wanna talk to me—"

Bill's eyebrows shot up.

"—and the register is insane and I need someone to cover—"

"They're both out today," Bill said. Mabel was over at Pacifica's alpaca ranch to help out for the day—but Bill had the sinking suspicion she'd asked to go help so she could avoid him. No clue where the other one had gone. "Sorry!"

Wendy groaned. Then looked at Bill. "Hey. Have you ever manned a cash register before?"

"Yes," Bill lied.

####

"Thank you so much," Wendy said, holding open the "Employees Only" door for someone Blubs and Durland didn't recognize: a woman with no makeup, no bra, and unshaven legs, wearing an eyepatch, a hideous Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and yellow foam clogs. Durland looked her up and down, elbowed Blubs, and muttered, "Hey Daryl. D'you think...?"

"Mm." He shrugged noncommittally.

The stranger took Wendy's place behind the register with an eager grin and called out, "Okay, let's keep the line moving!"

Wendy approached Blubs and Durland. "Thanks for that," she said. "So... what can I help you with?"

"Just a few questions about your weekend," Blubs said. "Where were you last Sunday?"

Wendy blinked in surprise. "On... Sunday?" She paused a moment, lips pursed as she thought back to the weekend. "I visited Shop Thrifty with some friends."

Blubs nodded, like this confirmed what he already knew. "And what were you doing there?"

"Shopping? I got some gift money I wanted to spend on cheap junk."

"What'd you get?"

Wendy furrowed her brows, but said, "Uh... some terrible horror movies, a doll that looks like a cross between a turtle and a teddy bear, and a clock made out of a hubcap?"

"So you didn't go near the men's clothing section?"

Wendy squinted. "Nooo?"

Blubs scribbled that down in his notepad. "About what time did you leave the store?"

"I dunno, probably like three or four?"

"Did you go back to the store later?"

"No? I went home and was there all night, you can ask my family," Wendy said. "What happened at Shop Thrifty?"

"A-ha!" Durland pointed over Blubs's shoulder. "How did you know something happened at Shop Thrifty?"

"Because you're cops and you're asking questions about it."

"Oh."

Blubs patted Durland's shoulder. "Keep trying, darlin'. You're becoming a better detective by the day." Durland beamed.

To Wendy, Blubs said, "But as it happens, we're investigating a burglary." He flipped through the pages of his notepad. "I don't suppose you saw any suspicious figures while you were shopping, did you? Perhaps hanging around... the men's section?" He pulled out a crime scene photo to show Wendy.

Wendy had to stare at the photo a moment to make sense of the empty clothing rack; and then she cracked up. "Did somebody steal every pair of pants in the store?"

"Every pair of men's jeans."

"Oh, man. No, I didn't see any pants burglars hanging around—"

Durland said, "We're calling the thief the Bootcut Bootlegger."

Wendy snorted. "But uh... I guess I'll call you if I see anyone lurking in a dark alley selling jeans?"

"We'd appreciate it," Blubs said. "And, could you tell us the names of the friends you went with. So we can ask them if they saw anything too."

Wendy, who was no snitch, said, "No."

Durland shook his head sadly. "Kids these days. They don't know anything about their own friends. Not even their names."

"Nope," Wendy said. "Is that all you needed, officers?"

"I got one more question," Durland said. He leaned a bit closer to Wendy and pointed at the stranger manning the cash register. "Who's that new gal? I didn't know the shack hired somebody."

"Oh, Goldie? We didn't exactly hire anyone, he's just staying at the shack a while—"

"Ha! 'He'! I knew it!" Durland smacked Blubs's shoulder. "I told ya! Didn't I tell ya?"

"Heh. You sure did."

Durland cupped his hands around his mouth. "Whooee, you at the register!"

"Sorry, I can't make exact change, so I'll do you a favor: just round it to—" Goldie blinked and turned toward the heckling cop. "Yello?"

"You're queerer'n a three-dollar bill, aren't you?" Durland called. Wendy cringed and quickly pulled out her phone to shield herself from the scene of public humiliation.

Totally unperturbed, Goldie replied, "I'm probably the queerest bill you've ever met! Why?"

Soos wearily trudged through the curtains from the Mystery Shack's museum. "Hey, Wendy. We found Ryuu, but we still can't find..." His gaze fell on Goldie and his voice died. "Wendy? What's he doing—"

Durland walked past the line of customers to lean on the counter in front of Goldie. "Hey, how long are you in town? You oughta come to a Rainbow Club meeting!"

"It's the local LGBTQ support and social group," Blubs explained. "We meet weekly at Town Hall. We're actually meeting this evening at seven!"

"We haven't had any new members in ages," Durland said. "Please say you'll come. We're so bored!"

The more they spoke, the more a grin spread across Goldie's face. "Gentlemen, you had me at 'rainbow.' I'd be thrilled to come! My schedule's free! I've been spending all my evenings cooped up in the shack because I don't know anybody in town." He slowly turned his grin toward Soos, who was watching in slack-jawed horror. "But hey, it's not like I'm locked up in here—right, officers?"

####

When the last customers trickled out and Wendy returned to the cash register, Goldie flashed her a quick smile. "Hey, Cool Girl." He nodded toward the Museum. "I saw Questiony tug you aside, are you in trouble?"

"Nah, not really. I guess he's just bothered I grabbed a non-employee to sub instead of getting him or Melody."

"I won't call the labor board if he doesn't." Goldie handed a wad of bills to Wendy. "Here."

"Thanks." Wendy looked around for somewhere to stow it until they could get the cash register drawer unstuck. "Hey, how'd you handle the customers paying in cash?"

"Told 'em I'd give them a discount for the inconvenience: if they were willing to round up to the nearest dollar from the sticker price, we'd eat the rest of the sales tax so they didn't have to fish for loose change. Everyone was thrilled."

Wendy processed that. "Oregon doesn't have a sales tax."

"Sure, but how many out-of-state tourists in a hurry remember that?"

"Ha! You went to work for the wrong twin, Stan would've loved having you in the shack."

"The Pines just don't appreciate what I bring to the table," Goldie lamented, swooping around the counter. He walked up to the "Employees Only" door, stopped, surveyed it like he wasn't quite sure what to do with it, and then very casually made a right turn into the curtained entryway to the museum.

A minute later, Soos escorted him back, an arm around his shoulder. "Museum's closed, dude," he said sternly. "We're looking for an escaped baby dragon."

"'Baby dragon'?" Goldie echoed. "You mean a lizard with fake wings glued on its back?"

"I mean—we're not telling the tourists that, but yeah."

He pointed toward the cash register. "Like the one stuck in the cash drawer?"

There was a pause. Wendy dropped to her knees to peer at the crack at the top of the drawer. "Oro! Can you hear me, boy? Are you in there?" She heard something rustle. "Holy—Soos!"

Soos shoved Goldie into the living room and hurried over to help.

####

"Less than five minutes," Ford muttered. "He's unsupervised in a public space for less than five minutes, and he makes contact with local law enforcement and sets up a social engagement. This is why he's not allowed out of—" He pushed up his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose, grumbling.

Ford, Stan, and Soos were seated around the living room table, discussing how to handle the situation. With the sheriff and deputy expecting Bill, they couldn't not let him go, lest the cops come by again to ask what had happened—and the odds that they'd be satisfied by an answer from anyone but "Goldie" were slim.

"This is what he's been waiting for," Ford went on. "He's been biding his time for an opportunity exactly like this."

Soos said, "I'm sorry, Dr. Pines. It happened so fast! I wanted to go all, 'No, you can't go,' but then the cops would have gone, 'Why not?' and I didn't know how to not say he's our prisoner—"

"It's not your fault, Soos," Ford sighed. "It's not even Wendy's. She doesn't know how risky it is just to let him talk to the public."

"So, what do we do now?" Stan asked.

Soos said, "Maybe make him an 'I bite tourists' shirt?"

Ford said, "I suppose... we let him go. And one of us will have to supervise him."

Stan asked, "At the gay club?"

"At the gay club."

Stan, Ford, and Soos—two of whom had grown up in a time when "gay" was one of the worst things a person could be accused of being, and one of whom came from a very Catholic family—eyed each other uncomfortably.

From the doorway, Bill called, "Can I choose? I'm trying to decide who'd be funniest."

Without looking at him, Ford snapped, "Go away, Bill."

"Fine. I'll be upstairs." They listened for Bill's footsteps to recede up the stairs.

Stan spoke first. "Not it. No way. Absolutely not. What would the ladies think!"

Wryly, Ford said, "I doubt any ladies you might meet there would have been interested anyway."

"Well, what would the guys think! What if someone flirts with me, would I have to flirt back to maintain my cover? I'm not that good an actor. It's not gonna be me." He crossed his arms in finality, then looked at Ford expectantly.

Ford hesitated, then shook his head. "Not me." Stan cocked a brow, but when Ford didn't say anything else, he just glanced at Soos.

"Uhh." Soos tapped his fingers together. "I guess I might be kinda sorta willing? I mean, I wouldn't really mind? But, the thing is, I'm engaged, to a woman, and like, Melody would understand if I explain it's just to keep an eye on Bill. But what if people think me 'coming out' right before the wedding is because I'm cheating or—or dissatisfied or something?" His eyes lit up. "Hey, maybe Melody could come too! We could pretend to be bi. It could be like a date! Would that be weird? Two straight people at the queer club on a date pretending to be bi? It—it feels weird." His eyes un-lit up. "I think that's probably weird. It seems disrespectful. Yeah, no, maybe I shouldn't do that—?"

"Are you guys talking about Rainbow Club?"

The trio started and glanced toward the door to the gift shop, where Wendy was leaning in.

Soos said, "Yeeeah, haha, it's kinda awkward, but, Goldie wants to go, but he can't go by himself... so somebody's gotta take him... it's this whole thing..."

"Oh? How come? It's not that far a walk if you cut past the old church."

"Uhh..." Soos looked at Stan and Ford for help.

After enjoying exactly three seconds of awkward silence, Bill called from the doorway, "I'm under a curse that makes it impossible to open doors!"

"Wow dude, sucks for you!"

"Haha, I know right!"

Ford stood, slammed a hand on the table, and pointed at the doorway. "OUT!"

Bill raised his hands, rolled his eye, and left.

"So, hey," Wendy said. "Rainbow Club's for 16-year-olds and up, and I've... kinda been trying to work up the nerve to go for a while, actually. Just to, you know, explore... options?" She shrugged, grimacing self-consciously. "Maybe this is my excuse. So, if you need someone to open doors for Goldie, I could go?"

Stan, Ford, and Soos looked at Wendy with the blank surprise of two men raised in the sixties and one man raised Catholic who sometimes forgot that the categories of "queer people" and "people they knew" might overlap. Then Ford said, "You're not walking there with him."

"I can drive you," Soos said. "I'll just wait outside in the pickup. It's cool, I've got a lot of comics to catch up on."

"I don't know if it's safe letting him walk openly from the truck into Town Hall," Stan said. "Wendy, how do you feel about being handcuffed to him?"

Wendy stared at him. "What."

"That's not necessary," Ford said. "We can use the chain bracelets."

Wendy stared at him. "The what."

"Listen. Kid." Stan stood and put a hand on Wendy's shoulder. "I know we gave you the abridged version of Goldie's history, but lemme make this clear: this freak's on house arrest, and if you're going out with him, you're his ankle bracelet. Do not let him out of your sight. Don't even leave him alone in the restroom if there's a window big enough for him to squeeze through."

"I think his curse covers windows," Soos pointed out. Ford nodded.

"I don't wanna risk it."

"It's okay," Wendy said. "Treat him like a dangerous criminal. Got it. I've got crazy lumberjack ninja training, I can handle him."

Stan eyed her appraisingly, then nodded. "You're all right, kid." He clapped her shoulder and let go. "And if you're into girls, that's fine by me."

"Um," Wendy said. "Thanks? I'm actually not sure if... Thanks, Stan."

"All right. We've got a plan." He waved off Soos and Wendy. "Go have fun with the gays."

####

Wendy sat in the back seat of Soos's truck, staring at her phone, trying to figure out what excuse to give her dad for staying out late. She didn't think he'd mind her going to Rainbow Club—but it wasn't a conversation she was ready to have. Finally, she texted him that she was hanging out tonight with the Mystery Shack crew—which wasn't technically totally wrong—and put her phone away.

Goldie stared out the shotgun seat window as they drove past the sombrero-shaped Los Hermanos Brothers restaurant. "Hey. Can we get nachos?"

"You'll be late to your meeting, dude."

"Can we get nachos after the meeting?"

Wendy piped up, "I'd be cool with a taco run." Easier to tell her dad she'd been having dinner at the shack.

Soos considered that. "I don't see why not." He shrugged. "Gotta get them to-go, though."

"Yeah, fine," Goldie said, a tad irritably. He slouched down, kicking his feet up on the dashboard and crossing his ankles. "I'm not plotting anything nefarious in the restaurant, I just want nachos."

"Then sure, that's cool," Soos said. "Hey. Isn't it kinda... weird for you to eat nachos?"

Goldie turned to face Soos. "Weird how?"

"I mean. You know. Considering you're..."

"Considering I'm what?" Goldie grinned. "What about me would make it weird for me to eat triangular corn chips covered in yellow cheese? C'mon, Questiony. I wanna understand."

Soos glanced toward Wendy in the back seat, and then away. "Never mind," he mumbled. Goldie laughed.

Wendy wondered what on earth Goldie could possibly be that would make it weird for him to get nachos. After a moment of deliberation, she concluded the answer was probably "lactose intolerant." She cleared her throat. "Hey, thanks for giving us a ride, Soos." Even if it probably would've been faster to walk.

"Oh yeah, no problem dude," Soos said. "Hey—aren't you sixteen now? Are you gonna get your own car sometime soon? I don't mind giving you a ride. I'm just curious. Making conversation."

Wendy groaned. "No. I haven't got my license yet, and I don't want to. As soon as I can drive, I'll be useful. Dad's gonna ask me to drive the boys around, and I'll be the friend that gives everyone else rides, right? And being a taxi sounds like crap." She paused, remembering where she was sitting. "No offense, Soos."

"None taken."

"But it's starting to stress me out. My dad keeps asking when I wanna start driver's ed. And I've started having stress nightmares about needing a car in an emergency and not having one? And then Gideon's dad swoops into the dream to offer a Reasonably-Priced Discount Used Car?"

Soos laughed. "Oh man, like all those commercials he's been running on the local stations? 'There's no need to barter—'"

Goldie and Wendy both completed the line, "'—you can drive for a quarter.'"

Wendy groaned louder. "All those annoying Gleeful Auto jingles are seeping into my dreams. How does that even make sense! I don't understand the economy, how do you sell a car for a twenty-five cent down payment and make a profit off of it? What if the customer just doesn't pay the rest?"

Thoughtfully, Soos said, "I think it has to do with interest."

"Well, I'm not interested. Especially when I'm asleep."

"I think Mabel's got a pile of books on controlling your dreams right now," Goldie said. "You could ask her about them."

"Do any of those books teach you how to install dream ad block?"

Goldie laughed. "It can't hurt to check!"

####

"Easy, there," Stan said, watching from his armchair with a can of cider as Ford paced in the entryway, back and forth past the living room. "You're gonna wear a hole in the floorboards."

Ford did not stop pacing. "I should have gone with them," he said. "What does it matter that I didn't want to. Somebody who understands what Bill really is should be in that meeting with him."

"Come on. As long as he doesn't get an opportunity to escape, how much trouble can he really get in? What do you think he's gonna do, kill the sheriff with a folding chair?"

"I'm more worried about his opportunities to network. I don't want him making friends on the outside. That's more people he can manipulate."

"Okay, sure. But how could you stop it if you were there? What would you do, scold him every time he acts nice to somebody?"

A sigh. "I suppose you're right. I just... don't like not knowing what he's doing there."

Stan took a sip from his cider; swirled it a moment; and then cleared his throat. "Hey, Ford, uhh. You know what? Crazy thing, but—I was surprised you didn't volunteer to go to the gay thing? I mean..." He unnecessarily cleared his throat again. "Ever since high school, I always kinda thought you... I mean, I assumed... not in a bad way, mind, but I just sort of figured... Well, I must've assumed wrong. So. Sorry, I guess."

Ford had stopped pacing to look at Stan. He waited for him to finish stumbling through ellipses; and then, hands stuffed in his coat pockets, he said to his feet, "You didn't assume wrong."

Stan waited. "Uh-huh?" he said encouragingly.

Ford shuffled into the living room and took the chair next to Stan. "Truthfully... I can't tell you exactly what I am. When I should have been figuring that out, I was busy writing dissertations and hiding in the woods. Exploring scientific oddities instead of—well—exploring myself. And then thirty years away from Earth, and now that I've only been back among humans for a year... well—I've never figured myself out." He shrugged ruefully. "I can tell you more about eye-bats and gnomes than I could about my own... inclinations. But whatever I am, it's not heterosexual, I know that."

"Huh." Stan nodded slowly, trying to wrap his head around the idea that you could just not know. He could maybe imagine a girl not knowing—the inner workings of a woman's body were still pretty mysterious to him—but in his experience most guys had a compass between their legs that was magnetically attracted to point toward what they desired, whether they wanted it to or not. What was going on with Ford?

Looking firmly at the wall, Ford added, "For one thing, I think there's been too many aliens for me to be straight."

Stan snorted. "Aliens."

"Aliens."

"Well okay, Captain Cork—"

"Stanley, please." A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"Leave it to my brother to even find a way to be queer in a weird way." Stan grinned crookedly. "You know—when we were getting close to graduating, whenever we talked about treasure hunting and getting babes, somewhere in the back of my head, I was making peace with the fact that maybe you'd find a sailor instead. I was fine with it! I just wasn't expecting you to go for the kraken."

"Stan!" Ford laughed in surprise.

"What! Not your type? What does it for you, Dracula? The wolf man? Mothgar?

"I am not telling you what does it for me."

"Okay, okay, fine." Stan probably didn't wanna know, anyway. Aliens. Yeesh. But who was he to judge, he'd gone on a date with a spider lady. "Is that why you don't wanna go to that club meeting? You don't want to talk about the aliens?"

"Not exactly," Ford said. "Attending a support group for queer people would mean opening up about a private, unexplored... scary part of my own identity. With Bill in the room. Maybe I should go to some of those meetings—but not when he's there." His smile from a moment earlier was gone; his mouth was set in a grim line. "When I thought he was my friend, I—offered him far too much vulnerability that I shouldn't have. I'm not letting him have any more."

And a couple minutes ago, Ford had been beating himself up for not putting himself in that position just to keep an eye on Bill. Stan said, "And he's not gonna get more vulnerability outta you. You don't have to tell that freak anything." Rummaging through his brain for the most supportive brotherly words he could find, Stan added, "But—I'm glad you told me."

Ford nodded. "So am I."

####

When Wendy and Goldie walked into Town Hall's main assembly room, Blubs and Durland were standing at the front chatting. Durland immediately waved. "Hey! You made it! You too, Wendy?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, thought I'd check it out."

"The more, the merrier," Blubs said. He gestured for them to follow him to a door at the front of the room, to the left of the podium. "A larger group uses the meeting room, so we meet in the mayor's office."

The door to the mayor's office was clearly marked by the folding table with snacks across the hallway and a stand next to the door holding multiple flags—American, Oregonian, rainbow, trans, and "Take Back the Falls" battle flag. Wendy paused to puzzle over the eleven varieties of bread on the snack table; when she glanced at Goldie, he'd gingerly plucked up the battle flag by a corner to inspect it. There was supposed to be a ban on acknowledging Weirdmageddon, but Wendy supposed the mayor could get away with showing a little pride in his citizens' resistance movement. "Were you still in the shack during... all that?"

"Hm?"

"The big fight." Wendy lowered her voice, just in case the sheriff felt like enforcing the ban. "That's the flag we flew when we kicked the crap out of Bill's stupid pyramid butt."

"Oh. No. I was locked out of the shack," he said flatly. "Must have missed that." He let the flag drop. "I only remember the part where he kicked the shack halfway across the valley with its own leg."

Tyler Cutebiker waved from inside the office. "Wendy, hi! And a new person! Come in, come in! You're just in time. How's your dad?"

Wendy had been expecting that. "He's good, he's good. Y'know, busy."

"Uh-huh?"

"He's been swamped with work since he got the contract for the deathball arena. He's broken like eight axes, so, I think he's really happy."

"Oh, great!" Tyler beamed. "When we were deciding who to give the contract to supply lumber for the new facility, I thought, 'I know just the man to get it!' I'm so glad we could support our local lumber industry." He hesitated. "By the way, do you know if he ever... thinks about coming to a meeting? I've invited him a couple of times, maybe if you brought it up..."

"Listen. Tyler," Wendy said. "You're cool, but if my dad ever shows up at Rainbow Club, I'm never coming again."

"Okay, all right, that's fine, just thought I'd ask."

The mayor's desk had been pushed up against the office windows, and several folding chairs were set up in a tight circle that pressed to the walls. A couple extra chairs were quickly put out for Wendy and Goldie, and Goldie immediately claimed the seat on the mayor's right. All in all, there were less than a dozen attendees, and Wendy guessed she was the youngest one there by at least five years. One empty chair was left open hopefully by the door.

Once everyone was seated, Tyler said, "Okay, it looks like we've got a couple of new folks here today, so let's all go around the circle and introduce ourselves. Please share your names, your pronouns, and anything you want us to know about how you fit under our rainbow umbrella. There's no pressure, just whatever you feel comfortable with, this is a safe and supportive place for everybody. I'll go first: hi, I'm Tyler, and I use he/him pronouns!" He turned expectantly to his left.

Blubs said, "Hi, I'm Daryl, uhhh he/him, and I..." he turned to stare in Durland's eyes, "am in love."

Durland quickly said, "Hi, I'm Edwin, I'm a boy, and I'm in love too!" They grabbed each other's hands, giggling.

"Aww," Tyler cooed, "aren't you two sweet." He nodded toward the next chair.

"Hello. My name is Tad Strange, my pronouns are he/him, and I'm a cisgender heterosexual ally."

Seriously, Tyler said, "And we appreciate your support, Tad. And the snacks you bring every week."

Introductions continued around the circle. Wendy sorta knew a couple other faces, but didn't know anyone personally. The only other girls in the room were an intimidatingly beautiful woman whose gaze seemed to pass right over the awkward teen with unstyled hair and baggy flannel, and two little old ladies in a throuple with a little old man.

The introduction spotlight finally landed on her. "Hey guys. I'm Wendy, she/her, and I'm, uh... questioning, I guess? Sorta?" She shrugged casually. "Yeah. Questioning."

Tyler said, "Since this is your first time—we keep things pretty casual, here, but I want to make sure this group supports everyone's needs. Do you think you could tell us a bit about what you're looking for in our little club?"

Wendy could feel every eye in the room boring into her. She fought the urge to shrink into her seat. You're sixteen. You're the cool girl. Act cool, girl. "Oh, nothing specific I guess. I'm just... exploring my options, you know. Exploring myself. Doing the self-discovery journey or whatever. So... I dunno what I'm looking for? I figure I'll know it when I find it."

Tyler nodded. "We've all been there," he said. "And I know I speak for us all when I say we're honored to be part of your journey."

And then, to Wendy's mortification, Tyler started clapping, and the rest of the group joined in. She smiled stiffly, feeling her youth even more intensely. What the heck, Tyler, you were supposed to be the cool adult. Wendy trusted you. Politics changed you.

To Wendy's gratitude, Goldie cut the awkward moment short by piping up before the last of the applause petered out. "Hiya! I'm 'Goldie,'" he put air quotes around his own name, "I've never cared what pronouns you people call me before and I'm not about to start now, and I do not have the patience for all the paperwork to figure out my sexuality so we'll just wonder together!"

Tyler laughed. "Oh, you're funny!" A couple other attendees chuckled.

"I'm just getting started!" Goldie blinked his unpatched eye. "Wink. Anyway, I'm here to meet new people and have some fun!" He turned an intense smile on Tyler. "So tell me, mayor—where do the people in your fine town go to party?"

####

By the end of the meeting, Goldie had collected six phone numbers—"I'd give you mine, but I'm between phones right now, long story"—and four loose commitments to do something somewhere sometime soonish. Wendy was simultaneously relieved to have some of the pressure taken off of her as the new person, slightly miffed that she hadn't gotten to know anybody, and resigned to the fact that as the only high schooler in the room they probably wouldn't have had much to say to her anyway.

As the club members milled around the snack table having bread, Goldie elbowed Wendy and muttered, "I can't believe they clapped for you but not for me. Is looking for a good time not a noble enough quest?"

"Pfft. Dude, are you jealous?"

"Insanely."

Thirty years in the ghost dimension must do weird things to someone's need for attention. "When I introduce you to my friends, I'll tell them all to clap for you."

"I appreciate it."

The club loosely migrated through the assembly hall and toward the front double door. Durland reached it first, opened it, and quickly closed it. Agitated, he said, "Daryl! They're out there again."

"Oh, no! Again?"

The group came to a stop. Tyler took over, cracked open the door, and tutted his tongue. Goldie curiously peered over his shoulder, and Wendy took that as permission to look too.

Standing on the sidewalk in front of Town Hall were a dozen tough-looking men dressed in leather, heavy denim, and sharp metal accessories. They filled the sidewalk, arms crossed or fists on hips, glowering toward the doors. Tyler muttered, "Oh, every time we have a meeting. I wish they'd knock this off."

"Who're they?" Wendy asked. "Homophobes?"

"Oh! No no, nothing like that," Tyler said. "That's the weekly ex-convict rehabilitation support group—they use the bigger meeting room. They're actually a very open-minded bunch."

"That's right," shouted the tallest of the group, a muscular bearded man. He pointed at a leather pride patch pinned to his vest over his heart. "Love is love! We support queer rights, trans rights, uh... women's rights? What else."

"Immigrant rights?" a man with a gray ponytail suggested.

"Immigrant rights, that's a good one. And... any other rights, too! Except pig rights."

Another man shouted, "No cops at pride!"

The Rainbow Club turned to look at Blubs and Durland.

They heaved sighs. Durland said, "We'll go out the back."

The group out front visibly relaxed when the Rainbow Club came out without the sheriff and deputy. The bearded leatherman focused on Tyler as he passed. "Ty."

Tyler started. "Oh! Hiii, Ghost." His cheeks went bright red. "W-we missed you at Rainbow Club this week, again. Any thoughts about coming across the hall from time to time?"

"Those cops still showing up?"

"Well, yes."

The leatherman—who Wendy recognized now as Ghost-Eyes—shook his head. "Pass. But we can catch up next time you're at Skull Fracture."

"Oh—okay, sure. I'll see you there sometime."

"I'll buy you a drink," Ghost-Eyes said. "I like your new boots, by the way."

Tyler went red from his hairline down to his shirt collar. "I—well—you too, Ghost!" He quickly trotted off, giggling to himself. Wendy watched him go, then glanced over Ghost-Eyes—tall, broad-shouldered, auburn-haired, bushy-bearded, and as muscular as a bull on steroids—and noted wryly that Tyler had a type.

A high voice from approximately ankle height said, "Oh, hi Wendy!"

She looked down. "Gideon," she said. "Wow! ... Hi."

"Imagine running into you here! I feel like it's been forever! How're your folks doing?"

"Oh, great, great. Uh, yours?"

"We're all fantastic, thanks for askin'. I haven't seen you 'round here before, this your first time attending?"

Ah, great. Of all the people to find out Wendy was trying to sort out her identity. "Yep. Just checking it out. How's... the ex-con support group?"

"Oh it's just wonderful! Highlight of my week, honestly. It's good to talk to people who have gone through the same struggles as you."

"Aww," Ghost-Eyes said. "You're the highlight of our week too, Li'l Gideon."

Gideon started. "Oh, where are my manners! Blathering on like this. Wendy, you remember my friends, right?" He gestured around him.

"Yeah—the Discount Auto Mart Warriors, right? You guys are still hanging out?"

Ghost-Eyes said, "Of course! We have a brotherhood forged in the fires of battle against a chaos god's tyranny. Also, the court requires us to do group therapy, so it's easy to hang out."

Gideon said, "And I'm sure all of you remember Wendy."

The Warriors nodded in recognition. Ghost-Eyes said, "Weren't you the one driving through the weirdness bubbles last year? To get that kid to his sister?"

Wendy looked up at Ghost-Eyes. "Yep. That was me. No hard feelings for the whole trying-to-break-your-arm thing, right?"

"Of course not! You were fighting the man. At that time, we were the man."

Gideon said, "Really a terrible error in judgment on my part, I can't apologize enough."

"Aw, come on," Ghost-Eyes said, "it wasn't all your fault. We were all out there, too."

"No no, I take full responsibility." Gideon reached up to pat Ghost-Eyes's knuckle. "You all trusted me to steer you true and I let you down."

Wendy felt a slight tug on her wrist—and only then realized that Goldie had been a little too quiet, a little too long. She looked in the direction her magic bracelet was tugging, and spotted him waiting just up the street, leaning against Soos's truck, hands pressed to the small of his back.

"It was cool to run into you guys again," Wendy lied, "but I've got friends waiting for me, so..."

"Oh, of course, of course," Gideon said. "Are you working at the Mystery Shack again this summer? Tell Mabel I said hello!"

Wendy flashed Gideon double finger guns. "I will not do that." She power-walked away from Gideon's fan club.

As she caught up with Goldie, she said, "Hey. Sorry for making you wait." She squinted. "You okay?"

Face tinted a deep angry red and wearing the most sour expression Wendy had ever seen, Goldie said, "Sure. Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"You don't look okay."

"I don't control what my face does." At Wendy's skeptical look, Goldie pointed toward the Discount Auto Mart Warriors. "I was—thinking over something ridiculous they said. About fighting a chaos god's tyranny."

"Oh, they helped fight Bill—"

"I know that," Goldie cut in. "It just seems... weird to call it that!"

Recovering cultist, Wendy reminded herself. "What would you call it?"

Goldie considered the question. "Fighting a chaos god's anarchy."

She'd been half worried that Goldie was about to start defending Bill. Instead, Wendy tried to puzzle out the specific differences between tyranny and anarchy, and why it mattered to him. "Huh."

"No rules, no laws, freedom from time and physics..."

That was starting to make sense. "I don't know what Weirdmageddon felt like in the mindscape, buuut everyone I knew was still experiencing a lot of physics. When we weren't being turned into statues or imprisoned in tapestries," Wendy said. "Maybe Bill and his minions had no rules and no laws; but when only the guys in charge can do whatever they want, and everyone else is either serving them or, like, getting hunted for sport? I'd call that tyranny."

Goldie's sour look deepened, but there was something thoughtful in his averted gaze now. Like he was searching for a retort he couldn't quite find. "Huh."

Soos rolled down the passenger window. "Hey, are you dudes ready for nachos?"

####

The gossip grapevine moved faster than Soos's truck. By the time he'd dropped off Wendy and brought himself and Bill home, Wendy had texted a quick summary of "Goldie's" anarchy comment to Mabel, who passed it on to Dipper, in case this was a red flag they needed to keep an eye on; and Dipper in turn had passed the info on to Ford.

Ford wondered if Bill really didn't believe he was a tyrant, or if he just didn't want to be seen as one.

When Soos and Bill came in, the first thing Bill did was snatch his hoodie off the coat rack and pull it on, like a snake that regretted shedding its skin and was desperate to slither back inside. Cheerfully, Soos said, "Hey, Dr. Pines!"

"Hello, Soos. Everything went well?"

"Yeah, no problem! We got nachos on the way back, hope that's okay. I left Bill in the truck. Without the keys."

"I almost died of heat stroke," Bill said.

Already headed toward bed, Soos said, "Don't lie, dude. I cracked a window for you."

"Okay, okay. I was fine."

Bill drifted into the kitchen to finish his nachos. Ford drifted after him, leaning in the doorway. Bill had pulled his hood up. He typically only did that when he was in a foul mood, but he'd seemed to be in high enough spirits as he bantered with Soos. Maybe he felt exposed after going into town without his "body" on. (Three decades ago, during the weeks when Ford had been wrestling with Bill for control over his sleep-deprived body, Bill had hidden a vicious little note in Ford's third journal where he mentioned taking off his "exoskeleton" to feed. Ford wondered if Bill saw this hoodie as a substitute exoskeleton.)

"Well?" Ford said. "How was it?"

Bill turned. The false eye on the hood stared blankly through Ford. "Excuse me?" Bill laughed. "Are we on friendly conversation terms now? You want to hear about my day? Or are you just hoping I'll slip up and confess something interesting."

If Bill didn't already know the answer, he wouldn't have bothered asking. "You can't blame me for trying." Wendy hadn't shared much. Ford hoped that if Bill didn't know what the humans had been saying behind his back, he might give away more about what he'd done at Rainbow Club. Talk of tyranny and anarchy was worrying.

Ford could feel the corners of his mouth turning down as Bill's half-seen smile widened. Bill said, "I thought you said you weren't playing games with me anymore." He turned to sit on his chair backwards, legs straddling the seat. "Okay, Stanford! I had a great time! The regulars welcomed the Cool Girl and me with open arms! Fresh air, unfiltered sunshine, an hour of conversation with a roomful of people who don't detest me, a snack table with eleven kinds of bread—"

Ford's grim determination veered sideways off the road. "Wait," he said. "Eleven breads?"

"Yes?"

"Why were— What else did they have? Condiments? Sandwich materials?"

"Forks, napkins, and water bottles. That's it."

"Forks?" Ford echoed. "Forks?"

"Forks."

"Why did they have eleven breads and forks?"

Bill threw up his hands in an exaggerated shrug. "So it's not just me! I looked at that table and thought, 'This seems lopsided,' but who am I, I don't know everything about humans! One grain product or another is just about the most stereotypically human food I can think of, so—"

"No, it wasn't just you, that's—I can confirm that's weird. Why did they do that?"

"I don't know!" Bill laughed. "I don't know, no one else questioned it so I didn't say anything! I wasn't about to out myself as the alien in the room! I just grabbed a Hawaiian roll and made small talk!"

Baffled, Ford ventured, "Maybe it's a... a gay culture thing I haven't heard about?"

"It's not one I've heard of," Bill said, with a tone that suggested if it was a gay thing, he ought to have heard of it. "Hey, the club's token straight guy is in charge of bringing snacks. Maybe he thinks it's a gay culture thing."

"Maybe." It was a somewhat reassuring thought, that perhaps the bizarre spread was somebody's misguided idea of support.

"Glad that mystery's solved," Bill said, as though to him a theory was as good as an explanation. "Oh, speaking of mysteries—thought you'd find this interesting—the mayor's desk is still haunted by bears." He said it as casually as though he were picking up a conversation from a week ago, not thirty-three years ago.

That wasn't a mystery Ford had ever thought he'd get any follow-up on. "Really? Still?" Ford instinctively tugged his journal out of his inner coat pocket and searched for a blank page. "How many?"

"Just two that I saw. I don't know that the third one wasn't roaming the halls, though. I'm not quite the spy I used to be!" He gestured down at his regrettably human body.

Ford waved off the not-exactly-an-apology. "Of course. The limitations of human sight and flesh. Which ones did you see?"

"One male, one female. The smaller female."

"I find it hard to believe the mother moved on without her children. She's probably around Town Hall somewhere."

"If I see her next week, I'll let you know."

"I'd appreciate that." He started taking notes. "Why would they still be there? I would have thought after the last election..."

"I know, so did I." Bill stood and crossed the room with his nacho tray to peer over Ford's shoulder as he lightly sketched out a desk and a couple of black bears lying atop and in front of it. (Ford hadn't seen the mayor's office in over thirty years, but he'd rough out the shape now and fill in the details once he got a look at the desk again, that was how he always did it. Bill had invisibly watched him fill countless journal pages like this.) "The desk was wider. Nacho?"

"Thanks." Ford absentmindedly took a nacho between his pinkie and sixth finger without putting his pen down, and corrected his sketch at he chewed.

"I've got two theories," Bill said. "One: the bears weren't haunting the desk because ol' Huckabone was using it, but because of something he put in it. A cursed talisman or something!"

"Mm. Mayor Befufftlefumpter didn't tend to mess with forces like that."

"Maybe he didn't know it was cursed. Most people can't see the bears. No one else at Rainbow Club acknowledged them."

"And if there is a talisman of some sort, why don't you already know about it?"

"Just because I can see everything doesn't mean I pay attention to everything," Bill said. "I'll snoop for one if you want! Anyway, theory two: they were here for Huckabone, but they don't know he's passed on, and they'll hang around either until they're reunited with his spirit or somebody dispels them. But I don't like that theory as much," he said thoughtfully, "it's not as satisfying. I prefer the intrigue of a good cursed talisman. Don't you?"

"I doubt that whether it's satisfying is relevant to whether it's likely..." Ford glanced toward Bill and almost jumped out of his skin when a wide white eye stared back at him. That stupid hood again. When had Bill gotten inches from Ford's shoulder? His skin crawled retroactively. "What are you doing?"

"Helping?" Bill ate another nacho and offered the paper tray to Ford again.

Ford stared at Bill, stared at his page full of bear ghost notes, then snapped his journal shut and shoved it in his coat pocket. He was an idiot. Ford stalked off toward the guest room. Remember who you're talking to. There might not have been any bears at all. There might not even have been bread.

Bill called after him, "Maybe you should come next week. I think you'd fit right in."

Ice ran through Ford's veins. What did he mean by that? It took a force of will to keep walking to the guest room rather than turn around and confront Bill again.

He shut the door, closed his eyes, and reminded himself: how Bill's eye had glowed stoplight red when he'd threatened to torture Ford's gniece and gnephew; how Bill had shrieked with laughter when he'd invaded Ford's brother's mind.

Ford had been distracted by talk of ghosts and talismans and, and—and bread. (Bread? Really?) Mysterious and mystical talk made it easy to leave those dark memories sleeping undisturbed.

And that scared Ford. Because he thought, for a normal person, it shouldn't have been possible to forget those things, much less easy.

You'd fit right in with my freaks.

He opened his journal, scratched out half his notes about the bear ghosts, and spent half a page untangling how Bill had lured him into a conversation...

And finally concluded that Bill hadn't done much luring at all. He'd just... talked.

He finished with a "DON'T TRUST HIM!!" and underlined it twice.

####

Well. If Bill and Ford were playing verbal games now, Bill had easily won that one.

He'd peppered in twice that he planned to attend Rainbow Club again next week, and Ford hadn't protested. Ford had even said he'd appreciate it. All that, and Bill hadn't had to reveal that he was busily making friends with the local mayor, sheriff, and deputy, or that he now knew where to find his own wayward one-time "sheriff."

All the same. As much as he appreciated getting a win, he wouldn't have minded going 2 out of 3. Bill had done most of the talking. (One of his most endearing flaws, he thought.) He kinda wondered what Ford thought about the bears haunting the desk. Ford had a tendency to overthink everything in such interesting ways.

Patience. This was the longest conversation he'd had with Ford in decades that hadn't consisted of pure, grim business. He was making progress. Maybe next week he could bring home a haunted bear talisman, see where that got him.

He wondered what Ford had thought of his birthday gift.

####

(Thanks for reading! This is probably the longest chapter we've had so far, but I didn't want to cut off before they even got to the club. If you enjoyed, I'd appreciate hearing what y'all think!)

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #wendy corduroy #sheriff blubs #deputy durland #gravity falls #gravity falls fanart #gravity falls fic #my writing #my art #fanart #bill goldilocks cipher

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fabuloustrash05 · 7 months

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Things I Would Change/Add in TMNT 2012

A rewrite post, but it's a lightning round with quick explanations.

Leo never crushes on Karai, but he does hang out with her because it gives him a sense of freedom and rebellion. When with her he gets a strange feeling, like he already knows her from somewhere. The other Turtles feel the same when they meet her. This feeling turns out is their sibling bond.

Donnie and April are friends to lovers, basically Donnie doesn't start crushing on April until around the end of season 1 and it becomes a slow burn from there. (Edit: Full rewrite is HERE)

Hun would be introduced and established as the leader of the Purple Dragons earlier on. Also Fong would get a little redemption arc.

Leo wears a leg brace for the rest of the series after his fight with Shredder in the season 2 finale. He also has a slash scar across his plastrom.

Irma is not revealed to be Kraang Subprime in disguise, instead she escapes New York with April, Casey and the Turtles, and lives on the farmhouse with them.

Irma and Donnie bond and become good friends (irmatello maybe??)

April and Casey would officially date, but then break up mid season 3 (they stay good friends)

Leo x Casey

Timothy would come back in season 3 as a half mutant like Karai (think of his powers like Sunita from Rottmnt), he'd even continue his ninja training and become an official ninja of the Hamato Clan.

Brainwash Karai never happens, it's replaced with Timothy plots and other mutants trying to get Donnie's retro mutagen.

We would actually get to see how Slash and the others met and became the Mighty Mutanimals (there's actually a comic book covering it so that could've been an ep!!)

Irma and Rook are the same person, Rook went undercover as a human as a way to keep an eye on April and find the Turtles for the Utrom council. That's why she was so noisy about April's "secret friends" in season 2 (Edit: to hear more about this concept, I made a full post on it HERE)

Irma and Rook being the same person leads to Bishop being introduced earlier on as the one who give the Turtles and Mutanimals intel on the Kraang's mutagen bomb plans mid season 3 instead of Kurtzman. Bishop would also indirectly mention and foreshadow the Triceratons and hope the Kraang don't get their attention (planting earlier seeds for the season 4 finale)

Instead of blowing up the Earth with the Black Hole Generator, the Triceratons just to a hostile takeover on Earth, turning it into a prison for in inhabits, with secret plans to blow it up within a year. With the help of Fugitoid, the Turtles, April and Casey escape Earth on a mission to take down the Triceratons. Meanwhile on Earth, Splinter, Slash and Karai form a rebellion to fight against the Triceratons and give their friends time.

Mona and Sal would be in more episodes, specifically after their betrayal, they join the Turtles on their mission as a way to repay them for forgiving them.

Returning to Earth, Mona meets the Mutanimals and she decided to stay on Earth earlier instead in season 5, she also appears in more episodes such as Mutant Gangland and actually showing up in Insecta Trifecta. Her and Splinter also get to bond. (Edit: Full rewrite is HERE)

The burnt scar Karai gets in Broken Foot remains.

Shinigami is revealed to be a villain and a spy Shredder sent to keep an eye on Karai. She betrays Karai in the season 4 finale. (Edit: Cause people keep asking me YES she does get redeemed! Check out my full post on the this rewrite)

Splinter still dies in the season 4 finale, or another way I could do it is he gets badly injured and paralyzed from the waist down, being in a wheelchair for the rest of the series. Either way, Leo would still become the new sensai by the end of season 4.

Shinigami is the one to start the Shredder cult and know how to summon Kavaxas. Tiger Claw is just there for the ride.

Alopex returns to help the Turtles stop her brother.

Tiger Claw redemption??

Baxter Stockman returns as a season 5 villain, he's been using his smarts to turn himself into a cybernetic being, missing his mutant form and wanting to go back. He basically goes mad.

Fugitoid returns, but now works for Dregg and Newtrailzer, being found by Dregg and reprogrammed to think the Turtles are his enemies. Donnie ends up saving him.

Mona Lisa and Sal Commander backstory in When World Collide

Raph gets the electric powers, NOT Mikey

Slash is in When Worlds Collide instead of Karai

April and Casey meet Renet and join her and the Turtles on their Halloween time travel adventure. (Edit: full rewrite HERE)

Usagi becomes a mentor for Leo and helps him overcome his stress and insecurities of being a leader.

Mutant Apocalypse happens (kinda) but Renet gets involved and has present Turtles team up with MA!Turtles to save their futures and rewrite history (cause Renet claims the MA was not supposed to happen) The series and finale episode ends with the present day Turtles winning, saying goodbye to their future selves and wishing them luck in their new future. Renet sends the MA!Turtles to their corrected future. As they go through the timeportal, Leo is demutanted from being a monster, Donnie gets his body back, etc. In their true future, the Turtles find all their friends alive and well in the lair, greeting them as they are about to celebrate their 50th mutation day. Raph and Mona are happily married with kids, Donnie and April are married and he's a famous scientist, Leo is highly respected as a great leader and sensai of the Hamato clan with multiple students (one of them being Mira) and Mikey is a successful restaurant owner. The show ends with them all enjoying a slice of pizza, finally at peace and living out their happily ever after.

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came-out-of-the-coffin-desisted · 10 months

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not to out of left field dragon age post, but i’m thinking of replaying origins and it made me think about how like. mahariel and tamlen are definitely old enough to be married/bonded by dalish standards, and they’ve been friends for at least a fews years if not their whole lives (and it’s probably their whole lives honestly) so they’ve had time to get bonded.

so the implication is that either a) they haven’t gotten their shit together enough to tell each other how they feel much before like. the week origins begins OR b) the elders wouldn’t allow them to bond, the way they wouldn’t let mahariel’s parents bond, and eventually they relented. and i know a lot of people like the first one and i agree that it is like. nicer to the characters. but the second one makes me go INSANE because it’s like. we think you’re too immature, or maybe just one of you is, you’re too impetuous, you don’t think before you act, and you egg each other on, or one of you is too devoted to hold the other one back. whichever it is, it’s a matter of worrying they won’t be good for each other— they don’t approve of the match.

until someone (probably ashalle or marethari herself) intervenes, and the FIRST thing, the very first thing that happens is they find that cave. no matter how it happened— if tamlen refused to go back to prove that he was worthy, if they egged each other on, if mahariel led tamlen forward— they WERE bad for each other, but not out of malice. out of love. and afterwards, when mahariel is a warden and tamlen is gone from them forever (even if they will, unbeknownst to them, see him again, just in the most horrifying way possible,) i can just imagine them sitting up nights, afraid to sleep because of the horrible dreams, alternatively blaming the elders for not letting them be together sooner and blaming themselves for not going back, for not making him go back.

in the gauntlet, the spirit or demon or whatever it is takes the form of tamlen, taunts them about their failure, about their waking fucking nightmare.

and months later, when there have been so many loses that they’re sort of numb to it all, when they’ve made a new family and maybe fallen in love again, when they’re living every day like it could be their last (because it could be,) they wake up one night in a cold sweat, or they’re in the middle of ~something~ with their new partner, and shrieks ambush their camp. they have to come out and fight, back to back with their new family, with their lover— they finish the fight covered in blood, every inch the warden, every inch the hero of ferelden. and in the aftermath, there he is. the ghost of the one person they never thought they’d lose, their best friend, the soulmate they were /supposed/ to have. and he’s a ghoul, he’s dying, and if they don’t kill him, the blight will force their hand.

and then there’s one fucking line with alistair about it. you can’t follow up on it. …but imagine if you could. imagine if the warden absolutely melts down afterward. imagine if they got to feel, for once, the ENORMITY of what they’ve lost, the enormity of what the blight took from them, which they’ll never get back, even if they have people they love. even if they live through it all, they save the world, now they’re the warden commander and they get to live free of fear—they’ll still never be one half of the happy elder couple who laughs and jokes and says ‘yes’ to every match because they believe in love over all. they’ll never get to see merrill become keeper and tease her about how pompous she was as a kid, they’ll never have children. they’ll never hunt again, never sit with the halla and smile about the beauty of the world.

in a lot of ways i think that the elven wardens lose the least, because they gain power they’d otherwise never have— but they still lose things. there is no easy way to become a warden. the only way that a warden loses nothing by joining is if they had nothing to lose at all.

#anyway.#warden mahariel #tamlen #dragon age: origins #dao #da:o #da: origins

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raviollies · 5 months

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Summary time

The gang decided to investigate a Selunite encampment for Eirwen to ask for ways to combat Shar and the influence of the Shadowfell and maybe clues regarding her lost memories. The Selunite outpost was....well rundown. Everything was dirty, tattered and no Selunite symbols. When questioned they literally just said "DO YOU SEE HOW WE LIVE?"

2. I think you guys can tell that it was actually a Sharrian enclave instead. Blythe used Dominate Person and charmed one of them and they gave us a guided tour of the facility. The basement had a bunch of bodies and relics, which we looted of course.

3. The party (Eirwen and Arameia) refused to leave unless we took care of them because they're hurting innocent people. Blythe couldn't possibly give a fuck cause she's not getting paid, and Raha just kind of was ambivalent. Then Blythe had a lightbulb moment and told them to UNALIVE themselves (Yes I know Dominate person doesn't work this way but we found it to be funny enough to just go with it)

5. Afterwards the gang went back to camp and hung out for a bit. Had a long discussion about whether or not it matters if Eirwen regains her memories because at the end of the day, she's still herself. Who cares who she used to be, and if that information hurts her...why not let sleeping dogs lie?

5.5 I FORGOT but at dinner Lorelai decided to be bat form as it's easier for her to get cozy and warm up and she had her blood in a goblet (Yes we all thought batstarion was too adorable). Arameia however thought it was EXTRA adorable and asked her to sit her in lap. She did.

6. Raha made breakfast the next day - Rice Porridge with nutmet and cinnamon with side of plums and nuts...it was an Elven dish from his childhood - unfortunately it had milk in it and Eirwen is lactose intolerant.

6.5 ANOTHER THING I FORGOT - Arameia introduced her tiny little miniature dragon she found in her coinpurse (yes. that's his horde. pocket change) and Blythe went Wild because of the amount of chemical reagents she could acquire from the little guy. The little guy in question was sweating bullets and attempting to flee.

7. We went to an Elven village to restock but turned out that it was ransacked by most likely humans, judging by the weapons left behind. Raha himself was the most despondent out of them all since he had lost his family due to a human raid, his entire village facing a similar fate and nothing remained except some survivors that had to relocate.

8. Arameia asked Raha to translate something she found and it was clear that Raha did not speak Elven naturally, and it is his second language. It was revealed that Raha never learned Elven as a child, due to the proximity of his village to a large human settlement most spoke common instead of Elven to be able to communicate with the humans. Unfortunately this caused a lot of friction with the Elves that took in the refugees. Facing a lot of ostracization and othering, Raha had left this other village as soon as he could, and learned Elven on his own, causing him to be fluent by no means anywhere near a native speaker.

(I shit you not tumblr wouldn't let me post this until i did the border. I don't know what it has against Forlorn Raha)

9. Raha and Arameia had a heart to heart at the fire, as Arameia also lost her parents when her village was wiped out (hers by a pack of werewolves, hence her deep seated hatred towards them). Raha could sympathize, but he doesn't hate humans, due to the hate he faced from other Elves. He believes that it's simply a product of having power, and chooses to remain solitary.

He is thankful for meeting everyone but he can never trust crowds or big populations ever again, preferring to stay clear.

10. Lorelai bullied Raha for getting laid

#blythe #raha #lorelai #arameia #eirwen #TUMBLR FUCKING POST THIS SHIT

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imminent-danger-came · 10 months

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MK Breaking his 1x01 Seal (I am insane)

Soooooooooooooo *twirls my hair and kicks my legs*.

I made this post like, a day ago, about a theory where the seal Wukong places on MK in 1x01 was broken in 4x07. The more I've been thinking about it, the more I think it might actually be the case, so here's a more in-depth post on it!

Let's start off with looking at how powerful MK starts off in 1x00 "A Hero is Born".

He's zipping around, he's punching the Demon Bull King with incredible force, and his final blow to DBK shifts the planets and cracks the earth:

This use of power is clearly uncontrolled. MK pretty much levels a good portion of megapolis, and in the next episode 1x01 Bad Weather, he needs a seal to be placed on his powers in order to function.

Now, we don't ever see MK that powerful again, not until after this moment in 4x07:

Between this and Sun Wukong's 1x09 comment when MK uses the staff to further destroy the mural—"Look kid, using that much power, your body can't handle it."—I'm thinking MK's seal in 1x01 also sealed away his monkey form, and that in 4x07 he broke that seal.

Bonus kinda scary MK shot:

Now, there are also these scenes in 4x13 during MK's fight with Azure:

There are a number of outer-space/world shots in this show, typically used at climactic points to show how overwhelming the battle is. In both 1x00 and 4x13, these shots are prompted by MK alone. The exception to this is 3x14 (and 3x11, more on that later), where everyone working together makes one giant magic circle to stop the Lady Bone Demon, engulfing the whole universe in light.

Next, we have the seals.

Now, it's very intriguing to me that these two seals are the same in design. The Chinese characters on both of course mean "seal", but the rim around them is also the exact same. It's a very interesting design choice, and something that could have easily been avoided had the intention been to not draw a connection between the flower fruit mountain seal and MK's seal.

(It could be that they wanted to keep Monkey King's seals consistent, however this is what the waterfall seal looks like in 1x00 and 2x01: )

(These are different, meaning the LMK team explicitly chose the seals from 1x01, 4x01, and "The Emperors Wrath" special to look the same.)

Here's what especially get's me: this same seal is used to seal away both MK's powers, and to seal away the powers of the Jade Emperor.

Mei with the Samadhi fire and Azure Lion with the Jade Emperor's power had both characters acting as containers for their world ending power source (here's that pesky 3x11 outer-space shot I mentioned):

Mei: "You mean—if I lost my cool on any of the million training exercises we've been doing, there was a chance I could have exploded and destroyed the whole universe?" Red Son: "Yes, that could have happened, but it didn't. My guess is that somehow your dragon ancestry has protected you. And if your strong enough to contain the samadhi fire, your strong enough to use it."

(3x11 This Imperfect World) (Gonna be real I don't think it was Mei's dragon ancestry that protected her, I think it was MK, but that's a theory for another time lol)

However Azure, unlike Mei, fails as a container. He fails to control his power, almost destroying the whole universe and sacrificing his life to stitch the world back together.

You know who ALSO doesn't control his power at the cost of others?

MK, even if it is on a much smaller scale, loses control of his powers in 1x01:

And, he loses control of them so much so that he needs to put that same specific seal on his powers until he can learn to control them better.

And well, the moment that seal comes off? We get this:

MK grappling to control his powers and a shot of him in a crater. Interesting!

And so, now that MK's seal has broken (assuming any of this theory is correct lol), I think he's going to struggle to be a container for his own powers. He was already frighteningly explosive against Azure, causing irreparable damage to flower fruit mountain and literally splitting it in half:

He also happens to look like this before entering his monkey form:

If that doesn't look like "struggling to contain his own powers", I don't know what does!

#this was longer than I was planning.#whoops #oh well!#It's canon. to me.#lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk theory #monkie kid #lmk MK #I've never mentioned the outer-space shots before but by god have I noticed 'em. they're weird!#why would I write 2 theory posts in one day. Why would I do this to myself.#eamk theory

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overwatchfics · 2 years

Note

Can you do more relationship fluff HCs with blackwatch and fem s/o? I love your other blackwatch work! Thanks!!

Blackwatch Fluff HCs

Genji

Genji loves to go out, but in his Blackwatch era the days of arcade games and goofing off are at an all-time low

However, he loves to hike.

He feels in his time of getting used to a cybernetic body, he has lost touch with himself.

Being out in nature helps him find peace whereas being in Moira's lab cannot

He doesn't really camp and spend the night too often though with you he'll pack a couple hammocks and find a nice campground

He'll pull you in with him a set you in his lap and pull out a book all while having his arms around you

Occasionally if you're cuddled against his chest, he'll pull you up to kiss you, and he'll have his body cybernetics heat up to keep you warm if the day grows cold

Genji doesn't necessarily eat, but Angela made it so he's able to enjoy small amounts of food

This means S'mores!

He enjoys them, but he likes feeding you them and laughing at the chocolate and marshmallow mess on your face

you did the same to him and it was one of the first times you've heard him laugh whole heartedly and man was that a majestic feeling

On the side, another hobby he's picked up is wood carving

Genji loves to make little statues for you, whether it's of dragons or foxes and if you're lucky he'll make a little inscription

Cassidy

Doesn't really have technology, but he does own a Wii?

Wii sports date night with the cowboy who's weirdly good at Wii bowling

Cassidy jokingly calls himself a gamer, but even a junker with -1 braincell could see he's not

The moment you buy Mario kart Wii and beat him over and over he's on his KNEES begging to play something else

REFUSES TO PLAY RED DEAD REDEMPTION NO MATTER HOW GOOD THE GRAPHICS ARE

Like I said in other post, while He can't barbeque his specialty lies in making comfort foods like corn bread, BBQ beans, mashed potatoes, and a basic pan seared steak.

On days your sick he'll whip up a hot tomato bisque with some bread on the side

Cassidy would love if you'd join him in the kitchen, meal preparation is always a pain in the ass

Going out, another thing he likes to do is go to carnivals, though he hates rollercoasters of any kind

He just likes showing you all the cheats to the unwinnable games

Not because he's scared, he just gets sick on them very easy

ok fine he's scared, I tried to cover for him but no he's a scaredy cat

If the day is free and slow, he's totally ok with chilling at home and holding you on the couch

Beware his beard tickles you during most kisses

Likes to wrap his poncho around you and put his cowboy hat on you

Definitely can't resist to kiss you when he sees you in his clothes

matching western outfits YES!

Moira

Such a weeb, and you'll know it after many nights in her lab

Watches anime while doing trivial experiments or documenting her results and she'll have you right there with her

When she goes home, she takes you with her and in all honesty she way too tired to cook so expect some take-out and a bottle of wine

Dinner is usually pretty animated; home is a place where she feels open to talk to you about her frustrations and excitements and she knows you'll listen and take to heart what she says

Make-out sessions with wine-stained lips, moira's pretty saucy milf don't sass me anon

Her corrupted hand pains her though she doesn't show it in front of others

Having you near her helps distract her form the pain ahd you and turn just puts some heat packs in the microwave and hold them against her arm

Occasional affection, but not much and that mostly stems from her fear of hurting you

Won't hesitate to kiss you though

absolutely no PDA

Long chess matches, she likes to play wits against wits

insert another wine-stained make out session here after you lose a match

her haughtiness after a winning makes her this way

She loves to style hair; it helps her unwind and she's rather good at it

same goes for nails, honestly, I can't paint nails for shit, but know that moira can and she will do yours in a heartbeat

SPA DATES

I have this image of moira with a cucumber mask and i can't get it out of my head god damnit

Gabriel

Big man. big arms. big cuddles

Sparring matches at HQ! Helps burn off energy and Afterwords he likes to head home with you

karaoke night, he probably finds some songs to sing in Spanish to woo you

Definitely a dancer, and won't take no for answer if he drags you out onto the floor

His thighs save lives

pulls you into his arms and sways to the beat

Twirls then dips you (the crowd gasps)

type of guy to have a rose in his mouth tbh

On the drive back he' gets drive thru and you two are laughing your asses of on the standup comedy radio

Gabriel occasionally takes you to this seaside cliff where he goes to contemplate and reflect on his decisions.

It's late at night and with the bags of fast food in his hand and a flashlight in the other he takes you to the top.

Once Gabe finds the spot, he finds the remnants of an old campfire and starts a fire and a couple worn plastic chairs are already set around the fire

You two are chowing down on fast food burgers and fries, and he reaches over with one arms and pulls you to his side

After finishing he puts out the fire and the stars become clearer than ever and looking over the cliff, the waves glow blue with bioluminescence

Gabriel smiles warmly at you and wraps an arm around your waist and brings his lips to yours

His kisses warm you up as the ocean breeze blows past the two of you

A/N: Not as much as the last one, but I pulled what I could from my brain to write more for the Blackwatch crew

Have a request? Put it in the Request box and don't forget to check the rules!

#gabriel reyes #overwatch #overwatch x reader #overwatch2 #overwatch imagine #jack morrison #moira o'deorain #moira x reader #reaper x reader #genji x reader #cole cassidy #cassidy #genji shimada #jesse mccree

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wyrmswears · 14 days

Note

Hiii!

I know the au ain’t about Jay, but does he have an animal form? How did Edd & Eddna found him or he does not exist?

I do apologize for the amount of questions not being libber related😞

Pd. I also love wolf children i imagine Libby just recreating the feral Yuki scene right?

Hellooooo!! Had to think about this for a bit; I really didn't give Jay too much mind when making this AU lol. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed getting to flesh out this AU further using your questions so thank you so much for asking! :D I made the AU for Libber and Ice but it's always fun to expand on other characters and how the changes the AU makes affects them.

This post turned out longer than I expected (oops. I love infodumping about my AUs, sorry lol) so the answers in their entirety are under the cut! Spoilers for Prime Empire and Dragons Rising (though nothing particularly about s2) are mentioned though.

The short answers are: Jay is still adopted, Libber left him at the Walkers' doorstep before dying. And yes, Jay has a wolf form like Libber does, but he can't access it until after the Merge.

The long answers:

The second question is easy - the comic on my other post initially had a third page that would've answered this but I found it difficult to get to flow well so I scrapped it. When the Walkers arrive home after coming across Libber, they find Jay on their doorstep. The idea is that she had left him at a safe place as a final act before succumbing to whatever killed her. (Much like in Wolf Children, I don't have a particular cause of death thought out.) Ed and Edna don't make the connection between the child on their doorstep and the wolf on the highway of course, because why would they?

As for whether Jay has an animal form... On one hand I find it very amusing when characters of non-human heritage turn out to be just normal humans, and Cliff Gordon is still completely human in this AU, but I also think it'd be boring to ignore his heritage completely for the sake of the bit. After mulling it over I've come up with this:

Jay grows up showing quirks that align with him being half raijū, but nothing that can't be explained by him being the elemental master of lightning or just a peculiar (and probably neurodivergent) child; these are things like a fascination of thunderstorms, abnormal resistance towards electrical shocks, hyperactivity, a tendency to chew on things...

He has no idea that his biological mother wasn't human until after the events of Prime Empire when Wu, now aware that Jay knows he's adopted as he used it to reason with Unagami, requests to speak to Jay privately. He explains that, if Jay has an animal form then he shouldn't feel like he has to hide it from the team as he is sure that they'd accept him, much like Libber's teammates accepted her. This is sweet and all, but Jay is very confused what he means about having an animal form. And thus begins the explanation of who or what exactly Libber was.

After learning that he isn't completely human, Jay isn't really upset - hell, Zane and Lloyd have both dealt with the same thing and it turned out fine - but he only talks about it with Nya. This is part of my general characterisation of Jay where I feel like he doesn't keep too many deliberate secrets, but does only mention certain things about himself on a need-to-know basis meaning that, while he doesn't care if the team knows he's adopted, only Nya, Zane, and Pixal know that he is (Zane and Pixal for being present at the end of Prime Empire). Nya 'needs to know' because she is his yang thank you very much. Nya helps him to research about raijū and they find out that they can come in a variety of forms. Jay thinks he'd look like a noble and mighty creature, maybe a lion or an eagle. Nya thinks he'd be a chihuahua.

Nonetheless, that seems to be the extent of it; Jay doesn't figure out if he has an animal form or how to use it, and all that's changed is that Nya has become a lot more aware of her yin's oddities. That is, until Dragons Rising.

I think after the Merge, Jay has no issues with accessing his animal form: much like his mother, he's a wolf-like canid. If you told him, he'd probably never believe that he had spent the first 20-or-so years of his life with no clue to his heritage and no abilities related to it when his natural state of self after getting amnesia is to flux between forms. Maybe it developed as one of the strange effects of the Merge, or maybe its a new ability as a result of his environment, much akin to Cole's rock golem. Nonetheless, it serves as a message to Nya that this isn't the same Jay she knew before the Merge. He flaunts his heritage to the team that he never told and has changed, both physically and as a person, without her there to see.

As for the P.S, I'm not entirely sure what scene you are talking about - there's quite a few where I imagine Yuki could be described as feral lol - but Libber is overall quite alike to Yuki in my mind, particularly when she is younger and less concerned with hiding her wolf side.

#maybe ill draw jays raijū form at some point too hm #ninjago #ninjago au #lego ninjago #ninjago jay #jay walker #ninjago libber #libber gordon #ninjago spoilers #? i dont know if we are still counting the fact that jay has amnesia as a spoiler or not. i feel like everyone knows by now #ok time to come up with an au tag because uhh i do that when i make more than one post for an au #inhuman thundersnow au #thundersnow will now be the duo name for ice and libber youre welcome #wyrm answers #wyrm rambles #btw idk if anyone reads my tags but art will be slower for a couple months because i have my big scary important exams upcoming #i will happily answers asks though :]

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daydream-cement · 1 year

Text

Silly Questions About Gwen’s Characters Pt. 1

This was a team effort between @bri-sonat and I (of course with help from the wonderful babies in the gc @na-shoba, @booitsrue, @funky--lesbian, and @margot-the-lesbian-god). He will be posting the next part! We will go back and forth with these fun little questions.

If they were an animal, what would they be? What is the first thing they’d do when they learn they’re an animal?

Brienne: Dragon, maybe? A force of nature to be reckoned with in human form and animal form. She’d fly around Westeros, looking out over the mountain tops, enjoying the freedom. Maybe take a little stop in Dorne, who knows.

Larissa: A cat. Larissa would appreciate a day where she could wander around Nevermore unnoticed or greeted happily by her students. Most likely she would nap in a window somewhere and forget about work for a bit.

Lucifer: A snake because uhm duh?? Snake :)

Phasma: A Sarlac or an Exogorth. Two foul ass monsters who feasts on human flesh, just like Phasma for real, except she doesn’t feast on human flesh, she just burns and cuts it instead.

Miranda: She’d be a cat, because she’s all “look how small, and their little whiskers and their little paws” and that’s so Miranda core, she is a cat. She’d be off on the adventure of her life, or she’d take a cat nap.

Do they pick wildflowers?

Brienne: Yes. Lovestruck Brienne would do anything to see her partner smile, and that includes picking small wildflowers with the edge of her very big sword.

Larissa: She has been known to pick a wildflower or two on her walks between meetings. Some days it's always nice to have a vase of pretty wildflowers on your desk, right?

Lucifer: Kills wild flowers to make God upset

Phasma: What wildflowers? That thing is blasted, burnt, charred in a single laser shot. Hates the sentiment of giving flowers as a gift of any kind, saying “flowers are for weak people who need to give plants to express love.” And then she’ll scoff.

Miranda: ABSOLUTELY, softest girlfriend ever. If her partner tells her she likes a type of wildflower ONCE, you bet your ass she’d have a full on bouquet the next time she sees them.

How do they like their eggs? (Fried, poached, soft-boiled, etc.)

Brienne: Miss Girl needs her protein for those MUSCLES, so she’ll just eat them however they are presented. Easiest way is a hard-boiled egg, but if she’s feeling a little bit fancy she’ll fry one.

Larissa: Poached fs. Over toast. It makes a fabulous breakfast and is simple enough to make. She doesn’t really like to cook so this meal works perfectly for her culinary abilities.

Lucifer: Perfectly over easy- like plastic-looking over easy eggs fr.

Phasma: Our Captain enjoys things the classical way, the old-school way, so she prefers a soft-boiled egg, and if it isn’t to her liking (aka the exact way she wants it), she’ll throw a fit. “Shoot someone just for fun” fit.

Miranda: LOVES scrambled eggs. Adds a little cream in there just to spice things up a little and thinks she’s so crazy for doing so.

How do they see themselves in their head, and how is that image wrong?

Brienne: Well, where do we start with this one? Miss Ma’am has been told her entire life that she is ugly, unconventional, unattractive, a monster, a beast. She’s been mocked, humiliated, made fun of, etc etc. She thinks that she is “the ugliest girl alive” and she fully believes that. BUT SHE’S WRONG, CAUSE SHE’S SO SEXY AND HOT AND BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS and all those things, but she can’t understand that because she has been told so many times that she’s not. But she’s wrong and people are dumb, and blind, and morons.

Larissa: She thinks of herself in a professional capacity more than anything, but ‘image is everything’ as she would say. She would consider herself attractive, but nothing more than that. Compliments that refer to her as anything more are usually met with a roll of the eyes.

Lucifer: Gods ex fav, self conscious about it, but knows they’re hot shit and are v sexy.

Phasma: Power does a lot to a person's confidence. Captain Girl knows that she’s hot, attractive, powerful and deadly. Knows that she’s the baddest bitch around and IT SHOWS!

Miranda: We all know what the deal is with Mirandy Baby. She’s treated like crap by her co-workers and even by her so-called “friend”, and with all those negative comments about her makes her doubt herself and her abilities, even if she tries her best to not internalize. For her looks, she would not call herself attractive, which is where the aspect of male validation comes into the picture. However, positive affirmations from others go a long way for her, ESPECIALLY if she finds them attractive herself.

If they talked in their sleep, what weird jumble of words would come out?

Brienne: Something really boring and honorable. Something around the lines of maybe “my sword is my vessel”, or something that makes no sense whatsoever, “I turned and then I was gone?” You just know her dreams are nuts.

Larissa: Something work related. Something about “I forgot the email”/“I’m late”, or something about a certain misbehaving student “Oh, god, what have you done?”. She doesn’t talk much in her sleep, however.

Lucifer: “You shouldn’t have done that” “I hate you” “God can’t save you” but like mumbled and sleepy so it’s more cute than scary.

Phasma: Phasma does not talk in her sleep, her stormtrooper training regiment made her become comfortable with sleeping on her back, and absolutely no sleep-talking or snoring. They got it rough over at the First Order, for real.

Miranda: Something really out of pocket. I’m thinking of that sleep walking scene in “Step Brothers”. I.e. “I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy.”

(For good guys) If they were a villain, what would their evil dark lord name be?

Brienne: Probably a spin on her swords’ name, “Slayer of Oaths” or something that has to do with her mockful nickname, “Brienne the Beast” or “Merciless Brienne”. I don’t know, I can just see her killing everyone with no remorse if she were to be a villain.

Larissa: The Headmistress. She would be the hottest super villain. Holy Shit.

Lucifer: “Cute.” - Lucifer to this question.

Phasma: ….Captain Phasma

Miranda: This sweet bundle of joy couldn’t hurt a soul. With that said, she’d be a righteous and justice focused one. Only killing those that deserved to be killed. Earning her the evil dark lord name of “Angel of Judgement” cause she’s an angel of DEATH AND JUDGMENT.

Muffins or cupcakes? Explain

Brienne: Miss Gurl doesn’t even know what a baked good is. She had to make due with some dry ass bread made from water and flour during her time. HOWEVER, if she were to live in modern days, she’d love a gooey muffin.

Larissa: Ms. Sweet-tooth? She will take a cupcake of course. Larissa: “There is a proper way to eat these, you know?” She then proceeds to take the bottom off the cupcake and make herself a little cupcake sandwich.

Lucifer: Muffins. The frosting is too messy for them, they’re like: “dude what I can’t eat the frosting in one bite without this getting actually everywhere on my robe sleeves.”

Phasma: “Sugar is not in my strict diet, I must stay on top at all times. I can not allow myself a ‘cheat day’, as you call it”

Miranda: Cupcake, duh. BUT THE MINI ONES. bc she can just eat them in one bite like a giant!!!

Do they prefer arm day or leg day?

Brienne: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, we all know. She needs some big guns to hold that heavy and large sword of hers, so arm day all the way BABY. Also, for Brienne, arm day and shoulder day is every single day with the metal she’s carrying around, yeesh.

Larissa: Neither of these options are suitable. If you let her pick, she will choose cardio.

Lucifer: Leg day in stilettos

Phasma: You just know she has the most defined legs ever seen in the history of mankind and she loves maintaining them. Despite this she’s more of a shoulder-back day kinda gal, wanting to keep that back refined as hell, looking like a marble statue of a greek goddess.

Miranda: She has once chanted “Leg Day!” over and over again when Robin agreed to hit the gym with her once. Robin didn’t join her again, but her enthusiasm for leg day remains.

What is the longest they’ve ever slept in?

Brienne: 7 am. And when she did all hell broke loose. Panicking about how she’d slept for far too long, when she was actually on bedrest for getting harmed in battle and was told to sleep for as long as she needed.

Larissa: 10am. It was when she had the flu, but she did fall asleep around 9pm so she was impressed with herself. Otherwise she gives herself until 8am to get up in the summertime.

Lucifer: What’s sleep?

Phasma: What’s sleeping in? You know that she’s up and at ‘em hours before the space cock sings the song of its people. She has never overslept a day in her First Order life and will wake up at 5 am sharp every single morning.

Miranda: Miranda has slept multiple days in a row. After a 12+ hour shift, she can sleep forever and not bat an eye. But once she is well rested, she is go, go, go. There’s no stopping her.

They’re on their way to the hospital when they hit a parked car. They can’t stop, and don’t have paper for a note. They drive away without telling anyone what happened. How do they ease their conscience?

Brienne: By finding that person in some way, apologize a hundred times and ask if she can be of help in any way to repay the damages. But, if requested, will pull out her coin pouch and flex her wealth. Or, they’d see that she was a tall, strong and lean Lord Commander and not dare demand anything, shaking in their little boots and saying how it’s okay and that there is no need to pay them back.

Larissa: She will make an effort to find the person, but if the car looks banged up already…. She may shrug and not stress about it too much, especially if no one will notice.

Lucifer: Have the person who’s car got hit killed by some horrible accident so that way they aren’t responsible for the minor accident because of the major accident overshadowing it 😋

Phasma: Conscience? What conscience? Nah, Phasma is a gaslighter all the way. “I didn’t hit your vehicle, you hit mine” *points blaster at them* “now give me the money to repair it”

Miranda: Takes a thousand pictures and calls a friend/coworker to find the car and exchange information. She will not allow her ‘crime’ to go unpunished. She must right her wrong otherwise she will be unable to sleep at night.

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shannonsketches · 5 months

Text

Thinking about Restorative Justice AUs this morning and I'm gonna copy/paste from the friendchat

part one:

Like yes okay I did listen to the apology song from book of life recently and after a moot posted something about the producer interview where zelda might’ve dismantled the monarchy after seeing how kingdoms are formed but didn’t have time in the game and I had feelings about it but imagine an TotK au in which the sages wanted to make gan human again because the circumstances of his corruption were also rooted in evil and the power of friendship means sovereign states full of love or something whatever you get me but like, they do the thing where they’re working on reigning gan in by seeing him (tm) and when it starts to work sagebody rauru is like ‘what are you doing he’s a monster No restorative justice (/personal grudge bc yknow he killed his wife)’ and light arrows him which makes him get monstrous again and goes after rauru and the kids have to figure out how to stop two stupid dogs from ripping each other and the whole world apart again

part two: (Re: That ^⁠ )

because I got hit with Apology Song from Book of Life AND I Know Who You Are from Moana -- Restorative Justice AU in which Riju is the one that can reach him because she knows what it's like to be a kid in a position she didn't ask for (in fact the exact same one he was born into) who is doing her best and she knows how angry and scared he must've been because she is also angry and scared and she knows he must be loyal to the darkness now because he felt betrayed and forgotten by his people but they still remember who he was before and she knows he used to be a hero and she knows he just wanted to keep his people safe and she can forgive him if he can forgive her but his enemies are her friends now and his people are okay they're okay and he doesn't need this power anymore his people are safe his war is over and he can come home to rest (die, finally)

and what if rauru light arrows him but hits riju (she's okay) and gan gets beasty and fights rauru and zelda splits them up and chains gan and rauru is like 'good chained like the beast you are' and goes to kill him and finds out he is also trapped by Zelda's light magic and she's like 'no this is fucking over goddammit i've seen how a kingdom is made and all of this is wrong i'm dissolving hyrule' and rauru's like '>:0 princess zelda-' and she's like 'QUEEN ZELDA. I AM THE DAUGHTER OF HYLIA'S LIGHT AND YOU WILL HEAR ME' and she banishes him back to the sacred realm so he can see his wife and be at peace whether he likes it or not and she destroys the malice/gloom on Gan and fixes Riju's injury with one like big untapped power boom she's been trying to reach this entire series and Gan can just sit with Riju and get to see her, this strong young Gerudo who is so brave and loves her people so much, and he can just idk crumble into sand and be part of his desert again

there was a Whole Movie in my head this morning

Bonus:

So Riju gets the closure of knowing she did destroy the evil that killed her mother and also gets to see and know and bury a legendary gerudo king and help his soul find the peace he clearly couldn't get on his own and Zelda gets the closure of knowing the cycle has ended and her power was ultimately used for good and Link gets the closure of just getting to hug all of his friends after a supernatural war

now he can go be babygirl to his boyfriend and his boyfriend's wife

and zelda can go be a hippie communist like her great great great great great x100 grandmother before her

and Baby Teba whose name escapes me can go be a great archer and Yonobo can go back to doing mining and capitalism

inevitably pissing off a dragon in the depths who will come out and eat them all

#riju #ganondorf #lozhc #i'ma call this the uhhh gerudojusticeau #gerudojusticeau #might draw stuff at some point maybe #idk no promises

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another-fire-emblem-sideblog · 1 year

Text

In case I delete my damn Twitter (I really should), I want to preserve the only tweets I ever made that I liked. Which, unfortunately, was rating every Fire Emblem Final Boss on their fuckability (remixed).

I'm sorry.

(Note: I confess that I am not a monsterfucker, yes yes leave your angry comments below, and I will be ranking every boss on their most anthropomorphized form to even the playing field)

(Edited on 2/17/2024)

MEDEUS (FE1/FE3/FE11/FE12)

Oh boy here comes the most generic villain ready to offer me the most generic sex possible. How could I ever contain my excitement

VERDICT: Look tumblr likes to make evil sex with your evil spouse look de facto exciting but even the spark can go out of villain sex. If he's a boring villain in the streets he'll be a boring villain in the sheets.

DUMA (FE2, FE15)

Man I am so glad that the remake gave Duma a human form and I don't have to be talking about ~~Duma's wiggles~~

VERDICT: I will confess to not being particularly attracted to him, but.... Not to spoil anything but he's going to be one of the better picks on this list.

JULIUS (FE4)

He is a child.

VERDICT: He is a child.

VELD (FE5)

Oh boy, you KNOW he fucks with the same enthusiasm of a disgruntled middle manager fitting in a quickie between reruns of Home Improvement with a wife that he's a decade past loving.

VERDICT: I mean there are worse choices on this list but love yourself.

IDUNN (FE6)

Even putting her somewhat... neotenous features aside, the whole free will removal kinda makes the idea of sex with her pretty unethical at best.

VERDICT: And even if we ignore all that she got one rounded by Roy. Total turn off.

FIRE DRAGON (FE7)

There is no anthropomorphized form. It's just a dragon.

VERDICT: I have concerns about size differentials here.

LYON (as possessed by FORMORTIIS) (FE8)

Ok, ok, I acknowledge this one is kind of a stretch as those two are separate entities and the Formortiis you fight is NOT in the shell of Lyon but like. Give me a break. I know you horny fuckers want Formortiis to become intimate with your intestines. I'm terribly sorry this stupid post isn't for you.

VERDICT: Let's be real. Unless you're Eirika or Ephraim (or willing to put on some cosplay) he won't be bringing his A-game. If you are, though... oooh. Boy. The emotion would run high. There would be crying. I'll leave it up to you as to whether this is a plus or minus.

ASHNARD (FE9)

Unlike some other options on this list, it is at least 100% proven that he has had sex, if only as a means to an end. I honestly doubt whether he would fuck for any other reason to be honest

VERDICT: If, for some reason, being used as a genetic experiment isn't a turn off, he's absolutely going to ask if he can turn a family member of yours into a mindless war beast, probably immediately after the sex. If for some reason this still isn't a turn off, uhhhhh I hope y'all are happy together.

ASHERA (FE10)

While I could imagine most of the other characters in this list being open to the idea of sex, I really couldn't see Ashera being DTF. But...

VERDICT: She's hot in a scary Drakengard way, so I'd say it's worth at least shooting your shot. She'd probably turn you to stone, but that's the risk you take for love.

ROBIN (As possessed by GRIMA) (FE13)

Fell Robin is a great example of the effects of evil on human attractiveness. On their own, Robin is human tofu. They are a perfect 5/10. Being possessed raises their score to at least 6/10.

VERDICT: 6/10 is better than average. Why not.

TAKUMI (FE14)

As far as I know, he doesn't have an official age, but I see this character and I think "that's baby"

VERDICT: All I want to do is give him butterscotch candies and ask him how he's doing in school.

GARON (FE14)

Like Ashnard, at least you can say he definitely fucked. Quite a bit, considering the excess of children he has (discounting his propensity for picking them up off the streets) So, uh, he's got one thing going for him?

VERDICT: He has this expression the entire time.

The

Entire

Time.

ANANKOS (FE14)

man who fucking cares

NEMESIS (FE16)

He's the only final boss in Three Houses that doesn't turn into a big ol' monster so he's got that going for him (or against him, depending on your point of view.) Unfortunately, he is, however, a zombie, which I would rate as worse.

VERDICT: One certainly can't say he's slacking on the gym routine but... zombie. Does he smell? Ew.

EDELGARD (FE16)

It's everyone favorite problematic waifu! What is there to say about her that hasn't been said before.

VERDICT: No, I mean really. Uh... if you like her I said she was stinky and if you hate her Edelgard come step on me uwu. Everyone can be mad at me. It's fun for the whole family.

RHEA (FE16)

Rhea is a scary, scary woman and fucking her would ruin your life

VERDICT: Rhea can totally get it.

EDIT: As of this writing (2/17/2024) I have beaten Fire Emblem Engage, and have edited this section accordingly.

SOMBRON (FE17)

Like Garon, Sombron canonically fucks. A LOT. This does not mean he's necessarily any good at it, mind, but he's got to at least... know... stuff, right? He was able to turn the yaoification beam on Hyacinth so he's clearly not completely lacking in sexual appeal. He will NOT wear a condom tho, although who on this list would?

VERDICT: I feel like you'd need to have some very specific fetishes for this to be a good idea, but if you do... have fun?

As for Heroes, I will confess that I only played Heroes very briefly; I don't know shit about the story and will have to rely on the wiki. So if I get some stuff wrong, apologies that I didn't play a shitty gacha. I was too busy... uhhhh having sex with your mom (NOTE TO SELF DELETE LATER)

BRUNO (Heroes, Book 1)

This bitch loses shirts like a Yakuza character. His abs have more screentime than his face. He pops on screen and Yusuke Kozaki manifests behind you and whispers in your ear "don't you just HUNGER for his dick????"

VERDICT: Oh come on.

SURTR (Heroes, Book 2)

Uh... he was pretty good on my team for the brief moment that I played. Uh... shit let's consult the wiki

VERDICT: ...oh. He's not very nice at all. Yeah don't fuck him.

HEL (Heroes, Book 3)

Ok. Look. Listen. Ok. Ok. Look. Ok. Ok. Listen. Ok. Listen. Listen. Listen. Ok. Look. Ok. Look. Listen. Listen. Look.

VERDICT: ...

...

...yeah...

FREYJA (Heroes, Book 4)

Ok, she's cute, but... I don't know. I just don't vibe with her design. It screams "designed for lonely dudes" and I'm a lonely GAL thank you.

VERDICT: Bring back the goth milfs.

EITRI (Heroes, Book 5)

NO.

VERDICT: NO.

EMBLA (Heroes Book 6 oh my god how many fucking books are there)

Oooh, she looks deranged! I like that; I'm a big supporter for women's wrongs.

VERDICT: ...Admittedly, she has more "wet drowned rat" appeal than sex appeal.

Book 7 isn't actually done yet (I think) as of time of this writing so I'm DONE. NO MORE.

#fire emblem #i would totally understand if you unfollow me after this #long post

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shakespearerants · 3 months

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Through careful consideration (and my reread of Empire of Ivory) I have formed the following opinion on Tom Riley and Catherine Harcourt's relationship, as having happened off screen and under Laurence's nose:

Harcourt: Oh damn the captain's kind of hot maybe I'll flirt a little bit, get me some kind of weird situationship going for the voyage to distract myself from my dragon literally dying right before my eyes.

Harcourt: Oh, yeah sure I'll act as go-between for Riley and Laurence. Bonus eye candy for me!

Harcourt, notably easily impressed by attractive slightly older male attention (Choiseul), having to ask the broad shouldered stuck up polite navy captain to intimate dinners pretty much daily for months: What if...I made the weird situationship....a friends-with-benefits thing? He'll never see me again, and Jane told me about being careful and all.

Captain Riley, emotionally repressed navy man: *fell head over heels in love by the second dinner at the latest*

Captain Riley, has not seen a woman in literal months and can't get a it's-not-gay-if-you're-shipmates thing going on due to conflict of interest because he is the ranking captain: I know I am ruining a gentlewoman and I am wrecked with guilt over it but I can't stay away from her.

Captain Riley, sense of honour on par with Laurence: It's just improper to get married on a ship and also society will gossip tremendously. No, best thing is probably to write 10 000 love poems while we're stuck in cape town, and then pop the question as soon as we're back in England. Yes, this will work, there is no reason she wouldn't want to marry me, if we have the son for whom I've already picked out first and three middle names for he'll be filthy fucking rich, and if we have a daughter (who will be named after my mother then her mother and then second middle name her grandmother) I'm rich enough to support us three.

Harcourt, pregnant, facing the man she had a presumably months-long affair with: Why does Riley want to marry me all of a sudden???!!!

Riley, suddenly faced with a woman who Does Not Behave Like A Gentlewoman Should and actually has the post and orders to back it up: Why can't she see we HAVE to get married now, or else me, her AND the child will be ruined?? ALso side not, is there something wrong with me??? I though we were in LOVE!!!!!

#temeraire #this brought to you by me realising riley did actually literally plan to ask harcourt to marry him BEFORE he got her pregnant #The man was. howdoyousay. DOWN BAD.

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gold-rhine · 2 months

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Hey uhm a little question has been floating around my mind ever since the xianyun story quest and....

Focalors, as hydro archon, needed to face "judgement" from celestia for being a "sinner"; her (predecessor's passed down) sin being "creating humans" with the power from the primodial sea

She basically gave her fellow oceanids a human body, right?

So like, Xianyun. She, well... not created, but in a way transformed Yuandai the crane into a human

But like, what's the difference I don't really get it, both gave another being a different form (that form being a human's)

I can only post out that Egeria used the primodial sea (a power that wasn't her own) while Xianyun used her own power (via her blood)

So... I'm just confused....

What are your thoughts on the whole ordeal of Xianyun's story quest (yes I know I'm late to be asking this hehe;;;)

Egeria's crime was specifically in using primordial sea, not in giving someone human form. Focalors stated it directly. Celestia doesnt care about human form, like, raiden who is biggest celestia bootlicker made several human form robots and wasn't even worried. all yokai and adepti would otherwise be sinners too, because they transform into humans.

Neuvi's stories:

He still remembers the foreign usurper appointing their own "God of Life" to order the living. He still remembers how the usurper had made "her" to suppress the original vital force of this planet.

Hydro Archon was supposed to Suppress primordial sea, and instead she used it. It's really about archons being puppet rulers of the imperialist power who are supposed to hoard stolen resources, but prohibited from using these resources.

Focalors:

Egeria stole the power of the Primordial Sea, and the Heavenly Principles stole the power you ancient dragons possessed.

Cloud Retainer could have used anyone's blood, it's not about using power that belonged to her, it's about not using power that Celestia sees as belonging to THEM. Celestia cares that you don't take what they think they own.

#rhine talks

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mundanemoongirl · 19 days

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WIP Questionnaire

Thanks for tagging me @owlsandwich! This is such a cool tag. I'm tagging @poethill @spideronthesun @cssnder and I'll leave an open tag but no pressure as always!

I'll do this for both of my wips as well.

Spiritwalker

What was the first part of your wip that you created?

I actually created a lot before I started writing because I never thought I'd accomplish writing a book. It's murky since I didn't document anything for around a year, but I'm pretty sure I created the clans first.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

I made a post about this not too long ago. It'd definitely be Daughter by Beyonce

3. Who are your favorite characters you've made? Why?

I have two different answers. My favorite in terms of craft is Daron. I think she's a really unique character and I'm impressed that I'm managing to pull off her personality. My favorite in terms of likability is Aria. She's sassy and really fun.

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

I hate to say this but My Little Pony.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Making it make sense. I have a lot of different concepts and sometimes I forget them or struggle trying not to overstuff my work.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Yes! Aria has a wolf. It follows her everywhere and terrorizes people at her command. Daron also forms a bond with a horse.

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

Horse

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

I'm editing chapter 20.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

Maybe magic schools and found family.

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

I hope it'll get people talking. I'd love to see discourse about theories or little details I included the way I see for books like ACOTAR.

We Faceless Folk

What was the first part of your wip that you created?

I started from the beginning of the first chapter.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Where I Sleep by Emeli Sande.

3. Who are your favorite characters you've made? Why?

Yejin is my favorite. It's so fun to write and read her passive aggressiveness, even if she is insane.

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

Probably The Hate U Give.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Honestly, just writing it. I work so much on my other wip that I haven't had time to write much for this one.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Sadly, there are no animals.

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

My main character drives.

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

I don't even know. After I started at the beginning, I started writing random scenes from all over the story. I don't have chapters yet or any other sort of structure. I'm somewhere within the first draft, if you can call it that at this point.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

The useless police.

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

I hope it'll create a change. I bring up several different types of racism and show their impacts. I hope reading about it will make people acknowledge its existence and try to change the system.

#writeblr #wip #spiritwalker wip #we faceless folk wip

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nativeofsumeru · 1 year

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His Majesty PART 2(Zhongli x fem!reader)

A/N: Part 2 that was written of this small series so long ago. This triggered the "There's an 4096 character limit per block so that's just wonderful (I jest, I don't know what it means!) Enjoy!

(not proofread)

"Your Majesty," a guard walked over. The dragon gently removed his face from his wife's grasp and he faced the guard. "The Snezhnayan king would like to know when you will return." The dragon gave a low grumble. "Tell him I will spend at least the weekend resting with my wife before returning to the battlefield." The guard nodded, bowed and walked away. Milk's happy smile fell. The dragon returned his gaze to her. "Let us go inside, my jade." He motioned towards the door. She nodded and together they walked in. The servants bowed in the presence of their Protector, the dragon. He paid them no mind and strode to his bedroom. The space wasn't accommodating much for his normal form, rather for his more human one. He had a location to rest in his dragon form elsewhere in the palace. "It has been long, my love." "I can't handle being away from you for a whole month." "Hm. Unfortunately you might have to do so for a few depending on the course of the war." "How's it going on the front?" "The monsters are strong, but we are stronger. They won't come near Liyue at all. We are fortunate to be so far from the front." "The poor Snezhnayans..." "The king is holding his own and one weekend without my presence will not send his kingdom to shambles." Milk nodded. His Majesty removed his armor and battle clothing. It was unnecessary as he was always in his dragon form however it said it was for emergencies. Milk saw a new scar on his back that wasn't there when he had left. "Your Majesty, what happened?!" She asked worriedly and quickly got up to inspect the scar further. "Zhongli." "He did this to you?!" "No. I feel we have met a point in our marriage where you may call me by the name I was born with." "Dragon's are born with human names?" "Not necessarily. It is a nickname others of my kind gave me. And one that I would like you to call me. In private of course, there is no need for formalities." She nodded. "As for my wound, it has long since healed. An inexperienced trainee simply did not know how to wield his weapon properly." That answer didn't put her to rest. But the details about dragons intrigued her. As far as the people of Liyue were concerned there was only ever one dragon. "Your Maj-Zhongli?" "Yes?" He changed into a comfortable robe. "Can you tell me more about your kind and um, that nickname?" He sighed and gave a small sad smile. "Of course my jade. Let us go to the library." ~~ He pulled a large scroll off a shelf. He rolled it out onto the table before them. Milk was starstruck. The scroll has depictions of dragons and monsters. He began to tell the story. “Before humans ruled the land, it was ruled by dragons. Many dragons of different colors shapes and sizes soared through the sky and blessed the few humans with water, food, and safety. I barely remember what happened before I exited the bedrock where I was placed to incubate and hatch. I had brothers and sisters although I never grew close with any of them. The only thing I knew when I burst forth from the earth was my name, Rex Lapis. I made friends and roamed the land with them. When I was deemed old enough, I met my first human…He went by the name of Zhongli.” “Your nickname?” “I will explain my jade.” Milk nodded and continued to listen. “Zhongli was a young child and came from a poor family. His family would give me small offerings and treats and I would always play with their son. My parents teased me for being friends with a human child, although out of good fun. It was an endearing teasing. Unharmed, dragons can live on for a mile is. Not much longer and history would change itself forever. Humans began growing their populations and spreading thanks to the dragons’ help. They repaid us by slaughtering our brethren, collecting our blood, scales, organs, and bones to make jewelry, sell for profit, and grow in power. This is how the roots of the wealthy were formed.

We became scared and most of us fled. The majority of us met the same fate. The most wealthy family began an initiative to capture young dragons, some Would be used to breed and others would be sold as pets. They eventually bred the sentience out of the dragons and they became not much distinguishable from everyday lizards. Reptiles with no heart or soul. The poorer classes began to be treated like dogs and work animals for Those above them in social class. Zhongli’s family was growing desperate.” He paused before continuing. “Hey, you don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.” “No. The story must be told. His memory must be preserved.” Milk nodded and let him keep talking. “He wanted to speak with me, so we chose a secluded area in the words. We had a good talk and spent the time well. He was a young man at this point…I heard a suspicious shifting in the bushes unbeknownst to him. I began saying that I should go yet he continued to insist I stay. I finally just began to lift off from the ground, danger was near. It wasn’t until the ropes wrapped around me. H his family had emerged from hiding and were attempting to end my life…I looked into his eyes before his dying breath. I could tell he had not meant for this to happen. My escape was very lucky.

With the more deaths that continued, dragons found ways to hide their souls throughout different environments. Ganyu is one of the many dragons who hid their souls in fresh winter snowfall. Keqing is one whom sealed her soul in the Lightning Of thunderstorms. Yanfei, concealed herself in the burning passion that is the warming flame. Xingqiu you can think of whenever u encounter of body of rushing water. It wasn’t uncommon for dragons to nickname others based on humans they grew close to. These are many of the very few dragons live in I have encountered who's essence is still alive. The queen of monsters was another formidable foe. From what I’ve heard, her name was Celestia. I only encountered her the first time when I was awakened from my hiding underneath the bedrock.” Milk didn’t know what to say. What could she say? “Do not see sorry for my kind. The last thing we need is pity. They will come back in due time if they please, but they might not and we cannot hold anything against them. The human form you see before you is only possible through immense power and ancient magic. Although I may not be able to make myself seem fully human, this body is one similar to that of Zhongli.” Milk was stunned from all the information she had just heard. “W-wow. That’s a lot.” “Indeed.” He rolled up the scroll once more and placed it back on the shelf. “How come you’ve been protecting humans then?” “I do not hold ill will towards them simply because of the sins of their ancestors although many dragons would have disagreed with me. Many wealthy still hold their status due to those past actions of dragon hunting, however, that does not mean they are at fault for the many lives lost.” Milk came to a realization. Her family wealth was built upon the deaths of dragons. Zhongli noticed her distress and kneeled down to look her in the eyes. “My philosophy still holds true. You are not responsible for the actions of your ancestors.” She nodded. ~~ Over the course of that weekend she began to worry. Dragons were killable. Although her husband ensured her it was difficult it was still possible! And a simple trainee was able to cause a noticeable scar on his back. He had lived many years. Almost to a full millennia. What would the people of Liyue do without The Protector. They worshipped him! She remembered she was the answer to her question. She still didn’t want to tell him. It was early and she could always rid of it without him knowing. But she had to think about the people. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. “My jade.” She looked at her dragon standing majestically in the court yard. The moon’s light gave his scales a unique sheen. She walked over to him. “Zhongli.” “I do not know for how long I will be gone and for that I would like to bestow upon thee a gift before my departure tomorrow morning.” “Oh, what will that be?” The mighty dragon lowered his head closer to her height. “I would like to give you a chance to fly.” Milk was confused. “Fly? How would we do that?” He motioned towards his back. Milk backed away. “Oh no no no! I could never tarnish The Protector’s honor by riding him!” “Please my jade. We are married. You have special privileges that others do not. It is dark and no one will see us.” She reluctantly agreed and walked towards his back. He helped her up and she held on tightly to his golden mane after adjusting her clothing. She didn’t weigh anything at all to him. He gently lifted himself from the ground and they began to float. He flowed with the sky, the ride was smooth and Milk was in awe at the beauty below of the Liyue cities and streets. “This is what I see whenever I am patrolling my kingdom.” The view was magnificent. Many golden lights littered the ground and the faint bustle of people living could be heard. She laid on top of her husband and just absorbed the atmosphere and the aesthetic of the Scene st hand. She was happy.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #zhongli x you #zhongli x reader #zhongli #zhongli x female reader #genshin impact au #genshin imagines #zhongli x reader au #genshin #rex lapis #genshin impact morax #morax #morax x reader #rex lapis x reader

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