saethepaperclip

[saethepaperclip]

Servamp characters as that he's a 10 but.. filter

mahiru: a 4 but has 7 dwarf friends

Kuro: a 1 but engages his core frequently (take that as you will)

Misono: a 9 but eats raw tomatoes

Snowlily: a 7 but sell his "essense" online

Tetsu: a 9 but lives in a cupboard under the stairs

Hugh: a 1 but he lives on the moon

Licht: a 7 but lives with 9 roommates

Hyde: a 9 buy is a lifeguard

Tsubaki: an 8 but says "rawr" instead of thank you

Sakuya: a 2 but is 6"6

#servamp #mahiru shirota #misono alicein #servamp kuro #lawless of greed #servamp hugh #servamp sakuya

[saethepaperclip]

Keeping up with the Ragnvinders

-a series loosely based off events that happened in my household-

---------------------------------------

Crepus- kaeya its time to go...

Kaeya- im not wearing shoes though

Crepus- why aren't you wearing shoes, i told you to put them on 5 minutes ago

Kaeya- i know, but my eyelashes hurt and i got distracted

----------------------

Diluc- Kaeya please dont go into my room anymore

Kaeya- you're just mad cause i found your stash of chips and ratted you out

Diluc- NO I JUST DONT WANT YOU IN MY ROOM!

Kaeya- yeah sure

-----------------------

Crepus- Diluc, where's all the nutella? I just bought a new jar.

Diluc- in the tea cabinet

Crepus- why is it in the tea cabinet???

Diluc- so kaeya dosen't find it. He eats it by the spoonful.

Crepus- should we put the milk and peanut butter in the tea cabinet as well then?

Diluc- ?what?

Crepus- he eats peanut butter by the spoonful as well, and drinks milk out of the carton.

Diluc- .... what a fucking monster.... kick him out

---------------------

Diluc-*aggresivly walkes through the door* Father Where Is The Ice Cream

Crepus- *slowly looks up from across the room with a bowl of ice cream*

Kaeya- i told you earlier he was eating the ice cream when i left to come get you

Diluc- But I Wanted Ice Cream!

---------------------

Diluc- *yelling across the room* KAEYA THERES PAWS ON THE TABLE FOR YOU!

Kaeya- *from the other room* OK!

Crepus- annabelle (the maid) do you know what my children are talking about... paws on the table?

Annabelle- i think they are referring to the cheeto puffs in the shape of paws the chef bought earlier for them

Crepus- THEy BOUgHT CHEETO PUFfS!?!?

---------------------

is this funny?

#diluc and kaeya are like me and my brother #except ive never loved my brother #only hate #oh yeah either crepus is ressurected or faked his death in this #genshin memes #genshin diluc #genshin incorrect quotes #genshin crepus #genshin impact #genshin kaeya #diluc ragnvindr #crepus ragnvindr #kaeya alberich

[saethepaperclip]

Genshin Crack

-lol sorry for ghosting everyone-

-------------

Tartaglia- I am a man(?) of peace and unproblematicness

Traveller- You just ran someone over with a lawnmower while threatening to overthrow the government??

Tartaglia- oh, that was just childe, don't mind him, he does his own thing

--------------

Xiangling- knees weak... palms sweaty... something, something.... MOMS SPAGHETTI

--------------

Diluc- I am Diluc Ragnvinder. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

----------------

Venti- You'd make a hot lady.

Zhongli- I am attractive no matter what gender i choose to present myself as.

Venti- true, very true

Venti- what about me? would i make a hot lady?

Zhongli- you'd make a hot tamale, that's what you'd be

Venti- what... who taught you that?

-----------------

Ill do more later, peace ima go eat cereal

#genshin venti #genshin zhongli #genshin diluc #genshin tartagalia #genshin childe #genshin xingqiu #genshin xiangling #genshin memes #genshin incorrect quotes #genshin traveler #genshin impact

[saethepaperclip]

Genshin crack

-lol i just ghosted everyone, and now i'm back with content from a completely different fandom he he, anyway enjoy!-

-----------

Chongyun- one time me and my friend went through the Dairy Queen drive through on our bikes to order a cup of ice for his (Xingqiu) anemic ass and an ice cream sandwich for me cause i have class.

--------------

Zhongli- Pro tip: use big words, complicated grammar, and long sentences to confuse those around you into thinking you have the slightest clue what you're talking about

-----------

Amber- did you also learn all your time, money, etc management from eating those little cheese break stick snacks with the really fake cheese that you would have to dip the bread stick into? Cause like if you put too much cheese on then it just tastes like cheese but if you didn't put enough then it just tasted like bread stick. So you would have to make sure there was enough cheese on each bread stick, but that wasn't it, you also had to take into consideration how much cheese was left for all the other bread sticks so each one could have the perfect amount without too much or too little cheese being left over. Eating those things was a whole learning experience, but they were super good tbh.

Traveller- no... how the fuck are you in my house, it's like 2am?

#genshin impact #genshin traveler #genshin memes #chongyun #genshin chongyun #xingqui #genshin zhongli #genshin xingqiu #zhongli #genshin amber

[saethepaperclip]

sukuna headcanons

im suffering rn

-------------

> he somehow makes the most normal things sound so offensive, like chill i know im a useless bike chain left on a bike rack alone while its raining in front of a 7/11 but u didn't have to say it :(

>hes very flexible, how else would he find a way to comfortably sit on his throne of bones

>he knows things about politics but acts ignorant to piss people off , like: who's donale trumpet and mikee penne and why are they fighting camel haris and joe bibben?

>voted for himself in the election

>wears trump and usa merch around liberals, and pride merch around conservatives just to cause chaos

> his political standing is sukuna

>eats everything like a taco

> his gives me strong redneck, farm boy, truck, chad vibes

> he has a lifted truck just to flex on people, but he struggles to get into it in itadori's body

> fights people in sketchy parking lots at 3 am every Tuesday

> his middle name is probably like Jordan or something

> hes "not gay tm" so he only eats women and children

> i'm sorry but his yukata (is that a yukata, i'm not sure help)makes him look like my grandpa and that's not a compliment, i hate it

>gaslight, gate keep, girl boss!

>hes that one dude named jim or something whos in his 40's that you saw at a family reunion when you were 7, he walked around holding a beer the whole time, was drunk off his ass and talked way to loud, and got too personal, he'd also stare at women and children weirdly, nobody actually knew him he was just a cousin of a cousin or sum, you didn't see him again,, an later you found out he ended up in jail for sexual assult and aggrivated assault or somthing

>hes addicted to pasta, he just really likes it

>hates shirts, they constrict him

>types like an old lady, like reading glasses on, type with one finger, phone one inch from his face, constanly asking for help because he does not understand the glowing tablet with symbols

>the only way he sits is man spreading or,... thats it just man spreading

> gets bored so he learns tiktok dances so he can bee cool like itadori,

> the only media hes actually seen is whatever itadori is up too so, uhh yeah

> hes knows exactly how old he is bt refuses to say

---------------

this was long im sorry, im just sad and overwhelmed, depression has set in, horray

#jjk sukuna #sukuna ryomen #sukuna headcanons #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen headcanons

[saethepaperclip]

jjk as things my classmates and i have said part idk

-lol sometimes I forget that yall on tumblr literally have no clue what I look like hehehe-

---------------

Itadori- *drawing* hey do you know if this belly button is an innie or an outie?

Megumi- i dunno

Nobara- why are you drawing belly buttons?

Sukuna- that's his kink

Nobara-...what is wrong with you?

-------------

Mahito- put suspenders over his nipples ok?

Geto- why are you drawing suspenders over his nipples?

Mahito- this is a catholic school, we need some sort of censorship

----------------

Gojo- *to his students* quickly, ut your trash over my trash so Utahime dosen't see it and beat me up

----------------

Itadori and JUnpei- *laying on the ground laughing in the middle of a field because the ground was the only place warmer that 30 degrees*

---------------

Itadori- *struggling with homework* why did the slaves have dark secrets?

Sukuna- cause they were black u idiot

Itadori- is that racist?

Sukuna- (u-u) white people slander

Itadori- ... what?

-----------------

Principal Yaga- gojo pls shut up

nobara- put him in a box!

megumi- put him in a box!

itaori-put him in a box!

gojo- put me in a box!

(only now to i realized the irony of that)

-e-

#jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #fushiguro megumi #kugisaki nobara #itadori yuuji #geto suguru #jjk incorrect quotes #mahito #sukuna

[saethepaperclip]

jjk as things my classmates and I have said part 3

heyhey

--------------

Itadori- *about sukuna* just look at him, he needs jesus

--------------

Panda- He has the freedom of feet!

--------------

Gojo- Do I need to zoom in for you?

Nobara- No I think I can read.

-------------

Maki- No one wants to hear about your bodily fluids.(talking about crying and sweating don't be weird)

------------------

Junpei- What if the Bible was made by a bunch of mad cultists and all the miracles were hallucination?

His mom- kid your tumblr conspiracies are getting out of hand.

------------

Mahito- It's like a tsunami, rawr

------------

Megumi -*drawing* It looks like she has a beard

Nobara- Maybe she does don't discriminate

Megumi-*jokingly* why would she do that men don't find that hot

Nobara- maybe shes a lesbian, don't be homophobic too

Megumi-*jokingly* does that make her the man in the relationship then?

Nobara- shes a butch lesbian, i can tell

Megumi- *turns to Itadori* hey, r u a butch lesbian

Itadori- No, I don't think so?

Megumi- why did you say bush in front of it

Nobara- it's butch, and it basically means they are the more masculine one in the relationship.

Itadori-*jokingly* idk maybe in a weird way I am a butch lesbian then, I like girls and im masculine

---------------------

the last one was actually a conversation I had today during last period

#gojo satoru #fushiguro megumi #nanami kento #itadori yuuji #kugisaki nobara #jujutsu kaisen #junpei yoshino #maki zenin #jjk panda #jjk incorrect quotes

[saethepaperclip]

jjk characters as things my classmates and I have said... again

-jjk is my current hyperfixtation rn-

-------------

Itadori- the penguin theory

Nobara- the pythsogem theorum

Megumi- the Pythagorean theorum

----------------

Panda- So right triangles can face left and still be right triangles?

Inumaki- i think so but dont take my word for it tho

--------------------

Gojo- all we did was flip the trianle on its side

Itadori- I hope it's ok, all the blood could rush to it's head

Gojo- I dont think we have to worry about that

-------------------

Nobara- that's a really long line

Itadori- you're a really long line

Nobara- Yuuji im short

-------------------

Itadori- If you like Pina Coladas!

Nobara- you bring your parents shame!

Megumi- my chromebook isn't loading

Maki- im going insane

gojo- I probably fucked your dad

Nanami- im done playing these games

inumaki- *plays opening to down under*

--------------------

Sukuna- I have an unchwenchable desire for pasta all the time. *5 min later* I CRAVE NOODLE!

------------------

Gojo- Ding you got it!

Itadori- ding a ling a loing a longa ding dong

---------------

if u couldnt tell at lot of these were from math class

#jjk inumaki #itadori yuuji #nobara kugisaki #megumi fushiguro #maki zenin #jujutsu kaisen #sukuna ryomen #gojo satoru #nanami kento #panda senpai

[saethepaperclip]

jjk as things my classmates and I have said

first jjk post!

------------

Itadori- I forgot I had a neck

Megumi- What?

Itadori- I saw myself in the mirror while I was in the bathroom and I forgot I had a neck

--------------------

Nanami- Wtf is a taquito, all I know is tequila.

-----------------------

Gojo- that was pretty gojoist (racist but only to gojo)

--------------------

*some rando brings Mai her bag*

Maki- why do you need your whole backpack?

Mai- *pulls out gallon bag of vegetables*

Momo- Is that the only thing in your bag?

Mai- oh no, i have a glock too

---------------------

Inumaki- current mood: watching true crime documentaries in the shower

-------------------

Gojo- do you not even identify as male anymore, just racist?

Geto- At this point, yeah

------------------

Megumi- toji is not a dilf

the whole fandom- to you

------------------

Itadori- at this point im pretty sure you're Hitler

Sukuna- who knows, not even i do

Itadori- u even kinda look like him

-------------------

hehehehehe

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gojo satoru #itadori yuuji #fushiguro megumi #nanami kento #geto suguru #sukuna ryomen #toji fushiguro #nishimiya momo #maki zenin #mai zenin

[saethepaperclip]

Reasons why the OM! bois would hate me

Lucifer- I act like Mammon and kin Levi so that's pretty self-explanatory

Mammon- I couldn't really think of anything other than the fact that I wander off and he prolly wouldn't like having to look for me all the time, idk he's the least likely to hate me

Leviathan- I hate lolis and imoutos onee-sans are so much better, that's it, that's the reason

Satan- I disrupt the peace a lot

Asmodeus- I don't take good care of myself

Beelzebub- I would not hesitate to start a war if he ever took my food

Belphie- I don;t sit still long enough for him to use me as a pillow, and i'm never quite enough for him to sleep while i'm in the room

Diavolo- I love pickles

Barbatos- I make a lot of messes and never clean them up

Simeon- I ain't really a holy child of God, and he'd get tired of momming me

Luke- i'm a bad older sibling, and don't have the patience to bake with him

Solomon- We are the same chaotic being, he wouldn't hate me

-thats all bye-

#obey me #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me solomon #obey me belphegor #obey me shall we date #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me headcanons

[saethepaperclip]

OM! bros on a plane p2

-lol guess who got addicted to jujutsu kaisen, anyway i might start posting some jjk content along obey me content-

Satan- The most chill of the brothers. He's read about airplanes enough to know exactly how they work and not be too worried. He was honestly pretty exited to see the process irl tho. Got irritated when people on the plane and in the airport wouldn't shut up so he could read (sensory overload go brrr). He was pretty tense during landing but that was about it. Threw a temper tantrum when he couldn't find his luggage at baggage claim.

8/10- landing was a bit rough but he likes flying

Asmodeus- He was super exited. Purposely left metal in his pockets to set off the metal detector and have to get pat down. Spent the whole flight flirting with everyone within at 15 foot radius of him, which was everyone. Watching the scenery outside the window shut him up for the majority of the flight, as he was excitedly talking to you about the view, or taking Instagram pictures. His hand was of course on your thigh the whole flight too. Getting baggage wasn't hard either as he had taken the liberty of decorating them beforehand.

81/2 /10 only because rushing to catch flights i hard while wearing stilettos and airport lighting washes him out

Beelzebub- He doesn't mind flying but the problem is food for him. Since you can't bring food through security you have to buy snacks overpriced at the gate which sucks. He tried to eat a lot before but was still hungry the whole time. You guys had to bring a whole carry on packed with food, it was all gone not even 30 min in tho. Beel almost ate the flight attendant when she only gave him one bag of pretzels.

3/10 not enough food and he can fly on his own so whats the point

Belphegor- The easiest but also hardest to fly with. Easy because he all he brings is a blanket and 1 extra outfit. His carry on is his pillow, and he keeps things like his DDD, charger, and money in his pocket so going through security with him is a breeze. He also would sleep through most of the flight so you wouldn't have to worry about him freaking out like some of his older siblings. He's also the hardest to fly with because of multiple reasons. He didn't want to walk through the airport to the gate so you kinda just have to drape him over you suitcase and drag him along which got a lot of strange looks. His ears pop really badly in high altitudes so he was not having fun despite chewing gum the whole time, and it was hard to fall asleep which made him cranky. He doesn't care how many strangers he will make uncomfortable to find a good sleeping position. You look across the aisle to see him draped across the poor guy sitting next to him. This is also a problem cause he has gotten felt up by the woman he was leaning on once, and another time the guy cuddled with him, so please try to get seats next to each other. He's basically the equivalent of the guy who was sitting behind me on the flight i was writing this on. The dude fell asleep with his head between my armrest and the wall so i have to lean forward to write so i don't bother him. He's about my age and pretty cute so it was sorta comforting. When we were landing we both leaned again my headrest to look out the window too. He was leaning forward and I was leaning back on either side of the headrest to look out the window.

-that's it bye-

#obey me #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphegor #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons

[saethepaperclip]

OM! bros on a plane part 1

-this was written a bit ago around Christmas but i just found it in my drafts, i haven’t had much time to write lately because of school-

Lucifer- very unsure, “are you positive this metal thing can fly?” He is fine while taxing down the runway, but once you speed up for take-off he almost breaks your arm with his death grip. He does the same thing during landing and turbulence too. He constantly quizzes the flight attendants and you about all the specific details of how planes work. Super relieved once you guys are back on the ground, but he tries not to show it. He also hated everything leading up to boarding the plane, parking, security checks, finding your gate and terminal, etc. it all irritates him a lot. Lucifer is also the person who gets “randomly” checked while going through security because hes seems super sus.  He doesn't like metal detectors. 

2/10 he would fly again if necessary but overall doesn't like it 

Mammon-  He pick pocketed about 14 people before even reaching security. Once y’all get through to your terminal he gets very overwhelmed tho.  Getting checked in took way to long with him, and don’t even get me started on the security checks.  He’s very against letting others look through his stuff so he seemed very sus when he refused to hand over his bags. He also didn’t empty his pockets and ended up setting of the metal detector and had to be pat down. Security is not super fond of him. Mammon is actually scared of the plane, of course he’d never say that though. Once you guys go inside and settled into your seats he calmed down a bit.  He absolutely flipped out once the plane started moving down the runway. Like you weren’t even going fast yet, but he already look like he was about to die. Once the plane actually lifted off the ground he shrieked, swearing up and down he was gonna die, the other passengers weren’t very fond of him. It look a while for you to calm him down once you reached a steady altitude and were flying evenly, but he will scream at the slightest bit of turbulence. He actually fainted during landing because he thought the plane was crashing. After the doors opened and you were allowed off the plane he literally ran out and kissed the terminal floor. He got mad at baggage clam when he couldn’t find his stuff. You may have left with a few suitcases that didn’t belong to you but who knows. 

-50/10 he’s never going within 10 miles of an airport again

Leviathan-  Homie had a panic attack cause of all the people there. It took a lot of convincing and bribing to get him to go through security too. Cried while going through the metal detector. Once on the plane he was clutching onto his ruri-chan plushie for deal life. Similar to Mammon he would scream every time you hit turbulence and fainted during take-off and landing. In between those times he actually enjoyed it, he would lean over you too stare out the window to the ground below.Once you guys landed he got lost like 5 separate times while on the way to baggage claim. His bag was super easy to find seeing as it was bright pink and ruri-chan themed. 

5/10 he liked it when he wasn’t freaking out

#OBEY ME #obey me lucifer #Obey Me Levi #obey me mammon #obey me headcanons #planes

[saethepaperclip]

OM! characters as foods i’m just slightly addicted to

Lucifer-cornbread

Mammon- root beer floats

Leviathan- gummy sharks

Satan- cookie dough

Asmodeus- any kind of chocolate

Beelzebub- chocolate milk

Belphegor- Cheetos

Diavolo- Jelly beans

Barbatos- cadbury creme eggs

Simeon- Smartfood Popcorn

Luke- ice cream

Solomon- chips and queso

-drak a quart of chocolate milk and now i feel sick, my head hurts from getting nailed in the face with a voleyball so overall im doing great-

#OBEY ME #Obey Me Levi #obey me mammon #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me satan #obey me shall we date #obey me shitpost #obey me lucifer #obey me luke #obey me belphie #obey me barbatos #obey me beel #im just hungry

[saethepaperclip]

OM! general head-canons

-i don’t have anything to post so hears this-

Note:these are all my opinions don’t hate

- leviathan has super thick thighs, all the junk food he eats goes straight to his thighs and like whoa, thunder-thighs bro, hence why he wears baggy pants because he is insecure about them

- belphie is super lanky like noodle boi over here

- Solomon’s preferred mode of transportation is a combine, he just be vibing down the road, asmos preferred mode of transportation is Solomon

- Satan is asexual 

- Levi actually bathes like 3 times a day unlike your typical gamer boy

- belphie uses they them, he him pronouns 

-Levi likes to cross-dress, he loves skirts the most he finds them so fun 

- ill do more later my hands are tired-

#OBEY ME #obey me mammon #Obey Me Levi #obey me solomon #obey me belphie #obey me satan #obey me headcanons

[saethepaperclip]

im officially th dumbest person, i just spent almost all my demon vouchers on a nightmare event, didn’t get anything good, THEN I REALIZED THE CARD I WANTED WASNT EVEN AVLIABLE IN THE EVENT!!! anyways i have to start saving up again cause im broke help...

[saethepaperclip]

OM! characters as things my classmates and i have said part who cares

-i have no motivation to write and im just cleaning out drafts so i may open requests if anyone cares, we’ll see-

Solomon- Don’t question the corn

MC- why?

Solomon- NO

--------------------------------------

Lucifer- What’s 75-66?

Mammon- 1

MC- it’s 12 I thought?

Levi- it’s 9... i think

--------------------------------------

Barbatos- Im not sad, just... where’s your lead?

---------------------------------------

Mammon- and the baby just shoots out like pwhoosh, pew pew, and someone’s gotta catch it

---------------------------------------

Asmo- I WANNA BE A MOSQUITO SO I CANT BITE SOLOMON!!

-------------------------------------

Simeon- no one needs to know that 4 of us stay after school and watch veggie tales every thursday

#OBEY ME #Obey Me Levi #obey me simeon #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me asmo #obey me mc #obey me shall we date

[saethepaperclip]

om! bois drunk part 3

-dis the last part-

Diavolo- you know that one uncle at any family reunion whos in his mid 30′s, is super loud, single, and never puts down his beer, yeah thats this mans. Will throw his arm around your shoulder and call you pal.

Barbatos- fool, you think this man can get drunk? 

Simeon- you know the mom from brandon rogers skits (i think thats what they are)? Thats him, thats all. To say the least, don’t give him alcohol it wont end well. (im not entirely sure that was proper english but who cares)

Solomon- Will talk about him nonexistent farms like a southern white man. Complains about bean crop and combines even though hes never been on a farm or seen a combine in his life. Its quite entertaining to watch, but be aware that he might start doing random magic man shizz out of the blue and you might end up as a frog.

Luke- a child 

#OBEY ME #obey me solomon #obey me shall we date #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #obey me luke #obey me simeon