I've talked about this before, but emotional dysregulation is such a mother fucker aspect of ADHD.
Like, sure, not being able to regulate my attention sucks, but it's genuinely fucking nothing compared to the absolute rollercoaster of emotions I just went on because someone said something in a shitty tone, and now I'm having to actively walk myself through DBT methods lest my idiot shit for brains 'shiny-can't-sit-still-disorder' drop the match on that particular bridge because the rejection sensitive dysphoria feels like my chest is burning and not being able to act on the hurt feels like I'm suffocating under the weight of emotions pushing down on me and lashing out in anger is quicker than taking the time to self soothe.
And the annoying fucking thing is I know it's me.
I've done enough therapy to know my emotional response to their shittiness is overblown and dysregulated. I know I'm taking it to heart more than they could ever imagine.
And I've got to fucking sit with that and process it because if I don't, I'll be the inconsiderate cunt in this interaction and hhnnggg--wailing, gnashing, biting my thumb at you in the marketplace, etc, etc.
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i know insults are merthur's love language, i know that, but god if it still doesn't get me how both of them can make a scathing insult sound so goddamn tender. like, fuck, in the crystal cave when arthur gets hit by that arrow and merlin says: "listen to me, clotpole. i don't care if you die, there are plenty of other princes. you're not the only pompous, supercilious, condescending royal imbecile i could work for. the world is full of them. but i'm gonna give you one more chance." that's a love confession !!!
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It's Ktisis Hyperboreia time! Again.
Duty is Duty... But loot is loot.
Bonus:
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It is truly amazing how often my reaction to the end of a chapter of Dreamling fic is "Dream, goddammit, no."
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the thing about bakugou and attraction is that he's not shallow and i don't think he has a type. like, he considers the value people have—who they are, what their strengths are, their passions, their goals, their mindset—and i think those are the most defining factors for him when it comes to 'liking' someone.
and yeah, he's a man. he has initial and instant attractions to people. but i think they're fleeting and go as quick as they come. so i think he doesn't pay much attention to physical appearance, per se, when it comes to deciding who he wants to give his time to.
but—when he does decide that you are the person he wants to give his time to, everything about you is suddenly so attractive.
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"I'm sick of people portraying this character as-" "I'm tired of seeing-" "I'm tired of fics where-"
okay then WRITE YOUR OWN. if you don't like the way others write your favorite characters, if you don't like certain tropes or scenarios, if you don't like certain headcanons, you're not obligated to read any of it. you are free to write your own shit. nothing is stopping you. fanfic writers don't owe you anything, and neither do authors, showrunners, etc. we're not here to cater to your own special little headcanons. we're here to tell stories we'd like to see and share them with people who want to see them. that's all. so stop complaining, and go make your own.
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I was thinking about an alpha Elias and beta Jon earlier today. Elias is in an unplanned rut and subvocaling all over the place and Jon is totally out of the loop :'3
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