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#(i'd love to read/write something of this sort but i'm too anxious about everyone being all

bellaxgiornata · 3 months

Note

This may seem a little but out of left field on my part, but I don't have many writer friends who I can ask, and there's no obligation to reply or indulge me 💜

I've recently got back into writing (not marvel, unfortunately, but I really admire the way you write) and was wondering if you maybe had any tips? I struggle a bit with, well, dialog and lack confidence - and your works are always so stunningly spot-on and evocative that I kinda just had to ask. Again, no worries if you dont want/have time to answer!

(Also I hope you are well!)

That is so wonderful! I absolutely love hearing that someone has decided to return to writing or is trying it out! I've been passionate about writing since I was 5, so I will always encourage other writers! And I feel so honored that you would even ask and that you feel that way about my writing! ❤ Thank you!! 😭

I will start out by saying I am not going to claim that I am by any means a writing expert, but I will say I did study it (I have an M.A. in Literature, Rhetoric, & Composition) and I've been writing fanfic for a long time, which comes into play with my writing (obviously). But believe me, I am always learning new things and growing myself. Writing truly is a skill and you can absolutely improve it with practice--I've noticed a change in mine over the past year even. Also, what works for me isn't necessarily what might work for you or others, but I can share some things I do myself, or that I enjoy seeing in fanfics/books, or what I think tends to be beneficial. I will say I know my writing style tends to be sparse and dialogue driven/heavy, which isn't necessarily how you or anyone else reading this might write.

And since this will probably be long and not something everyone cares to read, I'll put it below the cut. But as a note, I'm also writing these tips not knowing what you already know or do, so please do not take offense if they're obvious to you and nothing new!

I think the first and most important thing is to know your characters well, especially when it comes to dialogue. So if you're writing fanfic, I'd say study the source material a bit, see how someone speaks, pick up on any mannerisms or particular phrases they might typically use and when they use it if you don't already feel like you have them down. As for any original characters, Readers, or side characters, I'd say make sure you know them, too. Obviously an anxious character for example isn't going to speak boldly--unless there's a reason for it. So you always want to make sure it seems realistic (at least to you and how you perceive your characters) that they would say whatever they're saying in the situation that they're saying it.

I also find it helps to read dialogue aloud once you've written it. Does it sound like something someone would say in real life? Generally people in conversation don't always respond in full or proper sentences, for example. And I personally do this when it comes to writing Michael Kinsella or Frank Castle sometimes (I feel like I've written for Matt long enough that I literally can hear him in my head just fine 😅). They all have a sort of rhythm to the way they speak and I tend to go back and edit dialogue if it sounds too wordy or unlike the cadence of their speech (but that's also me being super particular 😅). But sometimes reading it aloud might help you realize if it sounds awkward or long winded or too clipped. Or maybe even too heavy of a reaction to what was said before someone's response.

Don't forget to change up your dialogue tags!! You can easily search up a list of dialogue tags (sometimes I do because my brain can't remember the correct one I want), but just make sure you're not trying to use them to add 'flair' to your writing, they have to make sense. Good ol' 'said' is truly just fine sometimes, but sometimes a particular dialogue tag makes a HUGE difference.

Sort of going along with that, it really makes a difference if writers have interrupters in their dialogue when it feels right. Don't overdo it, but definitely don't forget about it if you're comfortable using it. So if your characters are having a conversation, sometimes they won't just be standing there speaking, right? They might be doing something--like making coffee or folding laundry--and adding that in as they're speaking really helps set a scene. It's also incredibly great to add in minute details about facial expressions, tone change, body language shifts in the middle of sentences or between them. Because maybe the character speaking is getting angry, or the one doing the listening is having some sort of reaction to what is being said.

Dialogue should also generally always serve a purpose, which should help give you an idea of what to write and when. Is someone confiding something in someone? Having an awkward first meet? Calling to set up a date? Someone says something and it sparks a fight? Two characters are just being silly? There should always be a reason characters are conversing (which is sometimes just helping readers understand a personality trait about someone or learning a key detail about something), even if you have to throw in pleasantries or other things first that make sense before you can get the conversation to that point. And sometimes that's actually a fun challenge to figure out how to get there 😆

Off the top of my head, that's what I can think of for tips on dialogue at the moment. Hopefully at least some were helpful and not just old news to you. Obviously I also recommend editing a fic and giving it a reread at least once before posting, too. I'm insanely particular so I might edit something like 5 times before it goes up (and then still miss things). I just think that's a good way to catch errors or repeat words or ideas that might throw a reader out of the story.

As for the confidence to share your writing (or so it seems you meant, correct me if I'm wrong), honestly you just have to put it out there if that's what you want to do. I mean, don't feel obligated because you can certainly just write for yourself, but I'm not really sure what other advice to give on that unfortunately. I think any writer just takes the plunge. Sometimes a story flops, sometimes it gets a good reaction. Just try your best to not let it get to you if it doesn't go the way you hope (though whoever says it doesn't is lying because it is still rough to put so much effort into something and feel like it fell flat). But know you're not alone on that because there isn't a fic writer I know who doesn't get that feeling. Famous published authors even feel that way. We can't please everyone, but just try to have fun with it and don't take it too seriously at the end of the day. Do your best to ignore the negative feedback because for every one rude reader there will be multiple others who enjoy what you're doing. Try to focus on that!

But obviously, just have fun. Tell the story you want to read ❤

#bella answers #dialogue writing tips #im no expert though #just writing is your best way to practice and grow your skill

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hymn-of-muse · 9 months

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Hey I saw requests were open. Are you still doing matchups? If so would I be able to request one for critical role?

I'm a 5'4 girl with very straight and thin brown hair. I'm a bit on the leaner side but with some muscle from farming and martial arts.

I'm quite socially anxious and a general worrywart. I often seem stilted and overly formal in conversation as I suck at small talk unless I'm more comfortable with those people. When I'm in a familiar environment or with people I'm comfortable with I'm much louder and tend to ramble. I do enjoy talking and making shitty jokes. I'm a bit of a mum friend, practical and grounded. I enjoy any sort of physical affection ranging from hugs, to play fights, high fives and even light head butting. I also like being able to cook or buy food for others. I enjoy both reading, writing and love nature and animals of all kinds.

I'm bisexual with not much of a preference for gender.

Thank you!

hi! im sorry its taken me so long to get to this but yes! im still doing matchups!

sorry to everyone requesting critical role, ive only been assigning for c1&2 and left out 3 because i haven't caught up with it so i dont know enough about the ne cast of characters to assign for them ^^;

you sound like someone i'd be friends with

right away i think caleb or jester from c2

vex from c1

caleb- he's not the type to complain much over physical affection in fact hes shown to like it, even from small pda to other stuff. he wouldnt initiate it much but would probably hold your hand for reassurance and catch on quick to your anxiety in social situations. hes not too social himself so he'd ask if its okay to pull you aside so you guys can relax together in a corner and either ramble to each other about your interests or cuddle up with a book with frumpkin in your lap to help you calm down. wouldnt say it directly but would enjoy your humour, would also tell you he likes how small you are cuz its easier to cuddle you better. might get distracted staring at you during a fight or when youre engaging in something youre passionate about

jester- short buddies! will use any and all excuse to tease you and lift you up. she would absolutely join you in the kitchen if you let her. expect a lot of kisses if shes patching you up after a fight or vice versa, she thinks your worrying is very sweet and adorable. your humor matches so she'll not just join you she'll egg you on and keep it going. probably will adopt any animal with you if you ask all the phys touch and pda, she will squeeze you in a hug and braid your hair.

vex'ahlia- nonstop teasing. teases you for your height, your nerves etc whatever she can. subtle touches are her thing so she'll probably have an arm on or around you if youre close enough. if you get seriously worried or anxious about something she'll take you aside by the hand and help you calm down, she can be very convincing. she'll probably have you sit down with her and put your head in her lap so she can play with your hair till you feel better, maybe even put her feathers behind your hair after braiding it so you match. will hold your face and tease you for being cute trinket is now your best friend and will nudge you for headpats you guys get to tease vax together and vax will go from being skeptical of you and giving you the brother talk to eventually seeing you as family even. hes kinda protective of his sister and very scared of loosing her again but once he knows he can trust you and gets used to you and vex being that close you guys are buds and even sparing partners. vex encourages your humor and bugs you while youre cooking.

#matchup request #character matchup #critical role matchup #match up game #match up #anon answered #link replies #anon request #critical role x reader #crit role x reader #critical role

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yellowocaballero · 2 years

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oh no you're right about all of it i'm not jewish either i'm on the other spectrum of the scale that is abrahamic religions (unnecessarily convoluted way to say i'm muslim idk why i phrased it like that lol anyway) so as someone who's pretty used to seeing characters with the same religion as me onscreen either having that aspect of their identity pretty heavily stereotyped or just trivialised i was hoping the show would handle it sensitively considering that (i haven't read the comics) marc's jewish identity does play a huge part in his characterization even if he wasn't conceived as jewish from the get go

and you're right we get like a handful of scenes that establish he's jewish (even less so for steven someone else pointed out the mezuzah in a fic but i'm not really good at finding stuff like that so yeah) and like yeah there's a lot going on in that scene but it's just subtext yk? it's written as something that's meant to be inferred and idk i do feel like there should've been more explicit text (tbf a lot of my problems with mk is that they rely way too much on like the audience piecing things together i mean i'm not asking for an exposition dump but it would've been nice to have like more flashbacks for characters and some more exposition and stuff)

the mcu is definitely heavily pro military there's this yt video by skipintro i watched a while ago which talked about the support the military funding of the mcu movies and how the avengers can be very easily equated to the united states' tendency to be the global police and how cap and tony represent american exceptionalism vs imperialism in their civil war conflict (great video btw you should check it out if you have time)

and yess i agree like yeah the story was very scaled up and didn't have as much time devoted to the characters that i feel an initial outing should've had especially considering that these are characters having their first appearance in this franchise + the way everyone keeps talking about it being a contained story like i have such mixed feelings about this show because there's a shit load of potential and i feel like they missed out on an important chunk of it but i do really like the characters so that explains why i'm always looking up for fics with them i guess

please don't apologise about the question i started the ramble and ngl i was kind of anxious for some reason after sending that ask lol so your very cohesive reply was great i had to reread it a couple times to be sure to formulate my response to everything (might've still missed one or two points wouldn't be surprised if i did)

anyway as an actual answer to your answer to the question i asked i really love that idea of jake being really philosophical and same idt i'd ever feel comfortable writing about marc's relationship with his religion because it's pretty different from my own (we both have a complicated relationship with though lol) and yeah thank you for answering my ask so eloquently hope you're having a good day/night

You are absolutely fine I love rambling and talking.

I love comic books and I hate the MCU as a whole so I am perpetually stuck in a sticky situation where I still glean joy from MS MARVEL on SCREEN doing her TEEN HIJINK but also it's all tepid and insipid. Which is...that is so fine, things are allowed to be tepid. But if you do nothing but read comics then you become a redditor and it's the same way with any sort of, for lack of a better word, 'trashy' stuff. I watch an insane amount of the trashiest genres one may imagine that I don't talk too much here about, and it's great, but if it was the only thing I watched my brain would leak out of my ears.

And yes, totally, MK brings up some insanely interesting stuff that you can just go way deep into, and I did enjoy how it did not assume the audience was stupid. With only 6 hours of content I am guessing that they just simply did not have time to stretch things and lay them out more explicitly. My brain is a rabid hyena and media analysis is crack cocaine to me, so I was really satisfied with the amount that it left me to figure out, but you are right - criticism should be laid out. You should be upfront. And while it's cool to leave some stuff (themes, imagery, metatextual relationship with the MCU, commentary on DID in media) implied, stuff like Marc's Jewishness has been implied enough. Again, like, look at how many Jewish characters we have. When writing, especially for TV, you have to make a lot of sacrifices to choose what to cut and what to keep, but I believe it's important to prioritize stuff like that. Wish things were different, wish it wasn't MCU, wish it had more than 6 episodes, wish it could have a harder bite. Verdict Of Would Be Better If More Episodes And Not Disney.

The MCU, and you could make a very strong argument that the entire concept of superheroes, is rabidly pro-military and it's disturbing. At the very least it's propaganda for the American hero narratives of the Exceptional Man and propagating exceptionalism, at the most it is just funded by the military. I could go REALLY fucking into comparing how the military is portrayed with Steve Rogers vs Carol Danvers vs [mostly implied but very much there] Marc Spector and it's fucking fascinating. The show has a subtle relationship with the rest of the MCU. But, like, military propaganda, so. It can't just not be that. So [mostly implied but very much there].

Unfortunately "really enjoyable, had a lot of potential, charming characters, didn't quite live up to the potential" is. The ripest, most fertile ground for fanfic.

Very quickly re: writing identities that are not your own - I have a pretty basic formula, which is that as a basic foundation I look for similarities and shared experiences between myself and that identity, and how I can relate and halfway-understand. I normally get this through talking with friends and exchanging viewpoints and also keeping in mind that not all experiences of discrimination are equivalent. In the story, the stuff that I will just never understand I downplay and the parts that resound with me the most I spend more time on. I fill up the gaps and add detail through research, speaking to friends again and reading testimonials, and doing more straightforward Wikipedia stuff for terminology and etc.

#my writing #cracking open the mk tag: oh boy i hope this fanfic explores the subtle and implied aspect of the boy's relationships #and spends more time on the things that were glossed over in the narrative #:/#and sometimes people are just based off my friends sorry olivia i still love you i know you aren't hot jon

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godly-tomatoe · 2 years

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Match up for The Quarry, please? :D I had to rewrite this again because my app rebooted from me being scared of pressing the ask button, so.. This is technically still my first time requesting for something like this, so I hope I don't seem like an asshole 'cause I usually do seem like one with how I write and how I'll describe myself right about now.

I'm a 5'5 omnisexual fanfic and video game addict, with shoulder length hair and normal dark brown eyes. I have pierced ears and it's sensitive to loud sounds, I like wearing clothes that are the right amount of bright and dark, and soft, I like to write my own songs in my head and leave it forgotten until someone asks me what it was, and write stories whenever I have the chance to. I will never confront someone seriously when it's a 'BS topic-ed' argument and will reply with plain voiced sarcasm until someone tells me it's a serious topic, then I will apologize a lot for how insensitive I was with my sarcasm... I will apologize for anything I do and say because of my normally sarcastic voice. My love language for any type of relationship is writing poems and act of service. I'd rather act than talk, and hate it whenever people start shouting at each other. I hate any arguments and will remember an argument I regret participating until the day I die.

Is this too long? Should I have specified more? Did I use too many words? I'm so sorry I got too carried away because I described myself for the first time since kindergarten 😭

Hi hun! this I perfect, don't stress! thank you for your request :)

I match you with... Nick!! You guys got along immediately because of how chill he is, he's not very argument inducing and doesn't like drama too much so he understands your problem with loud noises and people arguing. because you guys spend a lot of time with each other he can usually tell your tone of message even with your sort of monotone voice, so he's kind of like your translator lmao. he loves to listen to your thoughts and he likes to hear all of the literature you create. when he decides to confess to you he tries to create a poem of his love for you but.. its not really good lmao. but you love it anyway. when you guys start to date he notices how anxious you get over your actions and loves to reassure you on how perfect he thinks everything about you is. with every letter, poem, song idea, ect. you make for him he always keeps them and end up putting all of them on his wall when he gets home. he makes sure to keep your hatred for arguments in mind so whenever he confronts you about a problem he always mentions that its serious and remains in a calm voice. you guys love to read together and just sit and take in scenery. during the werewolf incident he will always have you in his sight. when he gets bit he immediately makes sure you're safe. when he sees that you react weird to his behavior and he feels different he makes everyone get you away from him, he absolutely does not want to ruin anything with you or cause any harm to you. when the night is over you guys literally don't leave either of yalls side, you will definitely have to comfort him through his trauma and reassure him that he didn't hurt you. he feels bad that he couldn't help you throughout the night but reassures you that he's here now.

I think you guys would fit each other nicely, so I hope you liked this! have a great day love bug :)

#the quarry #the quarry fanfic #the quarry x reader #the quarry nick

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magdalenawho · 1 year

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A night dream of mine

Right now I'm rereading everything I wrote last night and find it extremely ridiculous. It's funny that I've finally decided to start recording my thoughts, my night dreams and all the things happening in my life that excite me a lot. You know, I used to think that my thoughts are not worth being recorded, like, who am I? What is so special about me and everything that is going on in my head? Everything has been mentioned before me and I'm not going to discover anything new for you. But then a funny fact struck my mind: if no one cares, it definitely takes all responsibility from me and broadens my horizons in the most beautiful way. So, here I am, writing down the first chapter of my diary, which, I hope, will turn into some kind of therapy for me. It's not even a chapter, a sort of introduction to a night dream of mine that I had last night. The dream that will give you an image of what kind of night dreams I usually have.

Well, it all started at my apartment. There was me, my husband, my sister, my gran and my mom. My father wasn't there for some reason. Maybe because we haven't been on good terms recently. Oh, and my sister was about 10 years old even though she is 21 now. That's funny, isn't it. I don't remember the reason why we had decided to gather but we were all having fun together, chatting, playing with our cat, Mr Peach. But I do remember that I'd never ever felt such a strong connection with all of them. Like, I was watching my little sister and I was going to cry, so sweet she was. It was as if I were one with all of them. I was so full of love and devotion that I wanted that moment last forever. And the very moment I thought about that, I found myself somewhere outside, in the night. It was a very beautiful starry night, I could even see a lot of constellations. But something made me anxious and desperate. I was looking at my house from the distance but I couldn't see my family there. The windows were dark. It was obvious that nobody was there. And then it struck my mind that I somehow ended up in limbo. My whole family now was not in the same dimension with me and there was no chance to see them again. More than that, I was totally alone in that limbo. There was not a soul in there. As soon as I realised that I burst into tears. I realised that I was going to spend my eternity at that place.And then, all if the sudden, I looked at the sky again and thought, how beautiful it was. I had never seen such a beautiful sky.

Some kind of a chair appeared next to me (everything is possible when you are in limbo), I took a sit and I just stared at the sky. I kept admiring it when another idea came to my mind: you've always been alone, even if you have a family and friends, the people who love you and care about you. You are born all alone and you die being alone too. You have to put up with the fact that in the end everyone leaves. Not because they stopped loving you, but because it's our destiny. You just need to take it as it is and value the moments of unity with your nearest and dearest, because one day you'll find yourself in limbo (or whatever you believe in), and the only companion for you will be you yourself. Understanding that may hurt right now but there's no need to be afraid of it, since when you find yourself in another dimension, your mindset will change to another level. I hope my confession didn't tire you. I want you to know how much I appreciate you reading this.

Love,

Magda

#psychedelique #insight #mindfullness #dreams #psychedelic aesthetic #tumblr diary #spirituality

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bunny-rambles · 2 years

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i am here preaching about going out of the house and having fun as if i hadn't seen the light of the sun in like a week lmao

on a bright note, i have all the night for myself!! (and since for some reason the uni's database decided it was a good idea to cancel my reservation for tomorrow's exam i won't be able to take it so... yeah that sucks but at least i can get a good night's rest instead of being anxious and all)

chinese is so hard lmao ;;; it's also harder if you're a dumbass like me that decided that four languages were not enough and i needed to expand my field or something with brand new ones (?) but oh well if everything goes according to plan by the end of uni i'll be able to understand genshin in all its dubs! small victories

zhongli is THE expensive dad but we all love him for that. honestly, i myself would rather have him as a sort of weird and wise mentor than a love interest, but ngl i'd just have him read books to me every night to lull me to sleep. i'd pay for his osmanthus tho! yesterday i made osmanthus tea syrup and made bubble tea out of it and it was delicious lmao

no guarantees a sexy adeptus is in the package with the almond tofu making but if you do see him tell him to come here too and say hi. we have uhhhh sweets and air con.

albedo and kazuha and flowers!!! and scara too ;;;; personally tho my favourite aesthetic for scara involves a face full of makeup: like almost theatre-like bold lines and glossy dark red lipstick and fair skin and slightly smudged black eyeliner to make his eyes look even shinier and a long silk dress with flowy sleeves ;;; or him with all those fake rhynestones you can glue to your face!! honestly i'd see all the genshin short men with those on tho. a fancy sparkly bunch of angels who could totally kick your ass to oblivion and look gorgeous while doing it.

have i talked too much? i probably did. but that's a-okay bc i am trying to get inspo to flow so maybe for once i will actually write something longer than three lines :') and ye second reminder the childe piece was indeed real cute, no matter what everyone else has or doesn't have to say <3

also!!! on the last note i don't really think you need to be a deity of makeup applying to look good in it. i know i'm not but just putting random shades on or drawing heart shapes on my face with eyeliner already makes me feel that much more happy ig. small victories <3

well with this i'll go and try to salvage whatever's left over from lunch so i can try and feed myself. good evening buns!!! and remember, you're beautiful and you're talented and most importantly you're loved 💕

tight hugs

- 🍓

omg, FOUR?!

I can barely speak English half the time, and I gave up on Japanese and French T^T

Yes, just - I would love to drink tea and discuss the wonders of the world with him, listening to his voice for hours on end. Zhongli would be perfect at ASMR if that’s your thing, that smooth voice just talking and talking about nothing in particular (IN ALL THE LANGUAGES - Zhongli just has THE best voice in the game in all of the dubs. That’s just impressive.) I’ve never had bubble tea,,, or much tea at all really. Is there any you personally recommend? I’ve been wanting to get into it for a while but just never really knew where to start or look.

When you described the Scara make up, it instantly reminded me of Yun Jin, they both look so pretty with a face full of really theatrical heavy make up;;;; Rhinestone’s make everyone look beautiful I s2g, like just under the all the rim of your eye? That’s just a look that can’t be beaten. (If I had more confidence, I would definitely look like that;;;)

It’s okay, say as much as you like !! I love hearing from you even if it takes me a millennia to reply,,, I have you find some inspiration soon!! (Thank you, that truly means a lot <33 Scara piece coming in two hours >:) )

Heart shapes are adorable !! Okay I’ll definitely try that, if I see a heart on my cheek I’ll probably instantly feel happier :,)

The last part made me tear up,,, thank you, for everything, you wonderful human being you <3

tight hugs and a platonic smooch on your cheek !!

#bun speaks #🍓 anon

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chosonore · 3 years

Text

infatuation

infatuation [noun. strong but not usually lasting feelings of love or attraction]

pairing: kamo choso/f!reader

summary: in a spurt of recklessness, you hire an escort to help you learn about relationships and intimacy. what you didn't expect was to fall in love with him along the way. [part of the kamo escorts collab]

wordcount: 23.3k

content/warnings: escorts au, slow burn, language, smut!!!, fluff, soft dom!choso, reader is very oblivious and painfully awkward, awkward firsts, dry humping, handjobs, oral sex (m + f receiving), fingering, uh somewhat public sex, loss of virginity, oral fixation, praise kink, lowercase is intended [VERY VERY UNEDITED]

a/n: hello here it is and finally done!!! i've been sitting at this for a week straight now and while i'm not super happy with it, it would've been a shame to just throw it out tbh. writing improvement is a slow progress after all! i'm dedicating this to @sukirichi who always hyped me up while i was writing this, happily welcomed me to the collab and who always supports my writing and i really appreciate it. thank you, from the bottom of my heart! (argh i have so many cut scenes that i ran out of space for dividers, sorry! hope the reading flow still makes sense though)

"that's what you were so worried about?" nobara looked at you incredulously, as if you grew two heads and asked for her firstborn. "you were scared that guys don't like you because you've never dated anyone?"

you let out an embarrassed whine, pushing at her arm in an attempt to get her to shut up. it wasn't your fault that she jumped to (multiple and very wrong) conclusions when you'd called her and maki, asking them to meet up so you could ask for advice. even maki looked mildly amused, patting your head apologetically. you were well aware of how ridiculous your issue sounds - the topic of dating had always made you anxious. you came from a very wealthy family that always sheltered and protected you from everything. you were their precious little girl after all; your father would rather drop dead than have you mingle with people who didn't treat you well and didn't deserve you. they meant well and it had never been an issue until you moved out to attend university (your parents had acted like you were leaving to travel the world and would never return, when really, you only moved two hours away from home).

even though nobara, maki and you had quickly become friends after you'd met at an event, you were wary to tell them about your background. it worried you, knowing how some people would treat you differently just to get on your good side and use you, so you opted to skirt around it as much as possible. it took you months until you opened up to them when you finally mustered up enough courage and trust to do so. they kept your secrets ever since, always protecting you and looking out for you. you were truly glad to be their friend. the two of them had grown suspicious when you kept declining their invites to join them for parties or to simply go to a bar and you were slowly starting to feel more and more guilty until you couldn't take it anymore and just confessed, asking them for advice.

"so that's why you're nervous even around inumaki," nobara concluded, propping her chin up in thought. "i didn't think your parents would be this protective. do they know that you want to start dating now?"

"no…" you confessed, fidgeting in your seat. "my dad, he um- he means well and usually has a good radar when he says that a guy doesn't deserve me. but i thought it was time to venture out on my own. it's good to have some experience, right?"

"i mean you're not wrong but i don't want you to be asking for advice simply because you feel pressured about dating since everyone else is doing it," maki retorted, giving you a concerned look.

you quickly shook your head. it wasn't that you felt pressured about not having any experience yet. you didn't necessarily want to admit to them that you were a hopeless romantic and liked the idea of being with someone; in the end, it was your own decision to venture. men made you nervous, you didn't know how to act around them and the thought of approaching a stranger by yourself was too scary. maybe it was a better idea to find someone to show you the ropes first, you felt embarrassed about your lack of knowledge and skills and - it wouldn't hurt to have some kind of dating training, right?

"i mean, technically, you could just ask one of the guys to take you out on a fake date. i'm sure megumi wouldn't mind," nobara was already pulling out her phone, making you grabbing her hand in panic and furiously shaking your head.

"i don't want to get them involved in this! it would make things pretty awkward and that's the last thing i would want. isn't there any other solution?" you explained quietly, playing with the hem of the dress. you felt bad for rejecting all their suggestions but you simply didn't want to be a burden to your other friends either.

"well," nobara and maki looked at each other grinning. "you could hire a fake boyfriend."

"really? you can hire tho-"

"escorts, y/n, escorts," nobara pushed her phone over to you, pointing on the screen. frowning, you read the little description. kamo escorts. you'd never thought about hiring someone, let alone knew enough about the topic. judging from nobara's face, she seemed to be well versed and it made you slightly suspicious.

"it's the easiest way for you and you have enough money to pay for their service. it's convenient, you can adjust it to your schedule and they'll send someone who fits your preferences. you choose the spot for your date and they'll make it happen, right? it's perfect and you don't have to worry about getting anyone involved," she explained, tapping at the bottom of the screen. "just give them a call, they'll walk you through the entire process. if you don't like it, you can find someone else or just abort mission."

"what do you mean they'll send someone who fits my preferences?" it did sound like an easy process, almost too easy. something was bound to go wrong, you could feel it. "i don't even know what my preferences are, so how could they possibly-"

"y/n, you might be blind but we are not," maki flicked your forehead playfully, she was more perceptive than you. "if you want, you can call them right now and we'll help you with the preferences, okay? maybe that'll ease your nerves a little."

"now?" you squeaked, eyes widening in horror. you weren't prepared at all; when you invited them over you were only planning to gather advice and then act on it.

"yeah! come on, it'll be fun and it's not like they can see your face," nobara grinned and was already dialing the number, moving away from you agilely before you could snatch the phone out of her hands. you wanted the earth to swallow you, why did they think that this was a good id-

"good evening, thank you for calling kamo escorts. my name is ijichi, how may i help you?" a male voice sounded from the phone, you instinctively dove behind the couch but maki was quicker and pulled you back with one fluid motion. curse her strength and speed.

"yes, hi, my friend here would like to hire an escort but she's too shy to do so, so we're helping her with the entire process. i hope you don't mind?"

"if it helps to ease the nerves, not at all."

nobars nudged you, holding the phone out. you pouted at her, shaking your head like a stubborn child. she rolled her eyes and pushed the phone into your hand forcefully, making you panic as you didn't want ijichi hearing your wrangling.

"um, yes, i- i'd like to hire someone but- ah nobara already mentioned that! it's for… for dates! i just need someone to go on dates with me."

"i see. is this a formal event?"

"n-no! i just need dating training of sorts, so casual is fine… if i do need to attend a formal event in the future, would that be a problem?"

"not at all, simply let us know when booking. our escorts are trained to be able to adapt to any situation and event, there is nothing you need to worry about, miss. do you have any specific preferences?"

"uh i-"

nobara leaned over your shoulder. "she prefers more mature guys! someone who's caring and attentive, someone who's not too outgoing and loud, it has to match her energy! since this is date training, there's probably going to be a lot of awkwardness so we'll need someone who is patient too. someone who can act like the best boyfriend to ever boyfriend. as for looks, i think she's fine with everything- although wait, maybe dark hair. yep, dark hair."

you couldn't believe her, she practically directed the entire call for you as if she'd made a plan beforehand, knowing that it would come to this. there was no doubt that she'd had this in mind, this was nobara after all. maki, on other hand, was watching you amused; she didn't usually engage in whatever shenanigans nobara was up to but she was always a bystander who very much enjoyed your reaction just now.

"miss, do you agree with the listed preferences?" ijichi asked after a moment of silence. you could hear him typing and occasionally scribbling on paper.

"yeah, yes, that's fine. is it possible to book him on weekends? i don't know if this is going to work out just yet so maybe once a week on fridays? i've never done this before so yeah."

"that is doable, yes. if you wish to engage in sexual relations, you may discuss it with your escort. these services come at an additional cost, of course."

"i don't-"

nobara interrupts you again, smirking at you cheekily. "it would be beneficial, so please take that into consideration when choosing the escort!"

"alright, thank you," ijichi went silent for a minute while he was organizing the files and schedules. "there are some possible candidates with whom i have to check with first. i will get back to you, should they agree to the job. after that we can exchange personal information and contacts so we can discuss the matter further."

"okay um. thank you, mr ijichi, i appreciate your help," you thanked him bashfully, giving him your number before thanking him again. you were already so deep in thought that you didn't even listen to his reply. now you've really gone and done it. were you crazy? what if your parents found out? they'd riot and be immensely disappointed in you. getting some dating experience through dating an escort, only nobara could ever come up with something like this.

"how do you feel?" maki inquired and rubbed your shoulders in concern, seeing how quiet you suddenly grew. weakly shrugging with your shoulders, you grasped the fabric of your shirt and nervously fiddled with it. the entire ordeal filled you with anxiety, a myriad of thoughts circling in your brain. it was the first time doing something "reckless" and it left you feeling nauseous.

"i'm not sure." you hesitated. "i'm curious to see how it goes but it just makes me really nervous. how do i act around him? and what if he finds me weird?"

"i don't think he's going to think you're weird just because you get nervous around guys. and besides, ijichi said he'd find the perfect guy for you, yeah? don't worry about it too much. if you don't feel comfortable after the first date, we'll figure something out."

"i guess so… um, but you guys don't mind accompanying me to it? just to make sure it's not some weird guy?" upon seeing your hopeful face, the two girls couldn't say no - of course not, you were their precious, innocent friend. as amusing as this situation was to them, they wanted nothing more than to support you and see you happy as well. you had already done a tiny step out of your little, sheltered world and much more was to come.

the ring of your phone nearly scared you to death, making you drop the book you were holding. quietly cursing, you picked it up and placed it on the table before answering the phone. who was even calling you at this time? everyone knew you were busy in the evening, slaving away on your assignments. it must be really important to interrupt your workflow like this- you almost dropped your phone in shock when you recognized ijichi's voice on the other side. admittedly, you forgot about the entire ordeal and didn't expect him to get back to you so soon. "good evening, ms y/n. i'm calling you regarding your inquiry so we can finalize all the details."

"u- uhm yes! thank you for calling!"

although ijichi was kind and patient, you were still nervous as you scribbled the details on a piece of paper. your escort's name was choso, he was a few years older than you and his schedule was very flexible. there wasn't more info, ijichi had announced that choso would call you as soon as possible. dread filled your stomach - it was nerve wracking to meet new people, not to mention someone you hired to be your fake boyfriend for the day. and now that you knew he was calling, all focus and concentration was thrown out the window. silently, you sat at the table and stared at your phone, waiting for the screen to light up. maki and nobara didn't need to know about this new development just yet as you wanted to navigate this on your own before telling them.

not too long after, your phone rang again, an unknown number flashing across the screen. it had to be him. even though you mentally prepared yourself for minutes, the anxiety came back full force. with trembling hands, you picked up, holding your breath as you waited for an answer. a deep, rather dulcet voice greeted you from the other side. you liked the sound of his voice, it almost put you at ease if it wasn't for your mind that constantly reminded you what was going on. you hastily introduced yourself to him and told him why you were requesting his services. the entire time, he was silent and let you speak - although you appreciated that he didn't interrupt you, every second that was passed in silence agonized you.

"hello y/n, my name is choso and i'll be your escort for the time being. ijichi told me you were looking for someone to pose as your fake boyfriend?"

"ah, uh yes sort of! i don't… have any experience when it comes to boyfriends and that kind of stuff. and i- i just wanted to learn what it's like to d- date and- and," your voice got smaller and smaller, until it was a mere whisper that was filled with all kinds of embarrassment that you felt. you couldn't help it, hopefully choso was still able to decipher what you were explaining. "you know, k- kissing and all that stuff. i've never done it with anyone before."

"i see," choso paused for a second, making your heart race. "i can't say i've had this situation before but i'm confident in my skills to guide you through this. before we first meet, let's set some boundaries so you feel comfortable at all times, okay?"

you hummed and nodded, although he couldn't see you over the phone. choso sounded like what nobara had described your ideal type - ijichi really had delivered and chosen the best possible match. choso knew what to say and how to steer the conversation in such a way that it didn't make you feel helpless or anxious. and you, in turn, felt like you could trust him with this issue.

"y- yes! uhm when i first called ijichi, a friend of mine helped me with the process and requested someone who was comfortable with sexual relations but… uh, to be honest, i never thought of requesting them. i'm not entirely sure if i want to do it either… i want to approach this in a slow manner, as slow as possible."

"alright, i can work with that. as for our first meeting, have you picked a time and location?"

you sighed in relief. choso seemed like a really nice and understanding person, leaving most of the options up to you. you knew it was part of his job but it felt nice to know that he was so forthcoming and accommodating. for the first date, you’d chosen a nice restaurant that had good reviews and little private booths. even though there was no way your father would ever magically appear and find out about your escapades, you were still trying to be secretive and cautious. the restaurant was situated in a widespread estate with beautiful gardens, the perfect spot to take stroll after dinner. in all the romance books you’d consumed, these type of dates seemed to be very popular - you thought to yourself why not? as you discussed your plans with him, you briefly wondered what he looked like. it felt weird asking him about it and you'd meet him soon anyways. maybe he looked like what you thought his personality was - like a prince charming? the prince that your dad had always assured you would come along. a small giggle left your lips at the thought of it; it was silly to believe it would turn out to be the love of your life. though it made you giddy thinking of your prince charming.

“is everything okay?”

“ah sorry, everything’s fine! i just had a silly thought a moment ago, that’s all,” reassuring choso quickly, you rubbed your cheeks in embarrassment. he must’ve thought that you were going crazy. “anyways, thank you for um, everything. i feel more comfortable now that i’ve discussed the details with you, thank you for being so patient. i look forward to meeting you!”

on the other end, choso hesitated, startled by your sudden enthusiasm when you were rather shy and timid before. it seemed that you were willing to open up a little more. he was curious himself, never having dealt with such a case before. usually, only experienced people who were looking for eye candy to accompany them to fancy events would hire him. he couldn’t imagine what you were like before meeting - it was nicer to get to know you in person after all, for the sake of a date setting. still, how were you able to afford the services? considering you were most likely a college student, he couldn’t fathom what lengths you went just to gain some experience. though he supposed, he shouldn’t judge you too quickly.

“i look forward to meeting you as well. see you on saturday, y/n.”

for hours you’d gone back and forth between outfits - casual? or more cute? maybe a mix of both? maki wasn’t much of a help either, mostly just giving you a thumbs up for every outfit while nobara had something to criticize about every outfit. you sighed, tossing yet another shirt onto the heaping pile of clothes. it was hard trying to impress someone that you didn’t know. the last item on your list was a simple, flowy dress and it seemed to be the best fit. you didn’t want to agonize over the choices any longer, seeing that the date was inching closer and closer. maki looked like she was bored out of her mind as well, scrolling through her phone as she was lounging on your couch with nobara. “are you sure you’ll be fine?” maki questioned you again. she was relieved about your good mood, how you were less apprehensive about the entire ordeal. when you first told them about choso after the phone call, you sounded slightly excited and were gushing about how nice he had been. you were hopeful that you could learn a lot from him. however, maki couldn’t help but worry about you, constantly making sure you were feeling okay.

“i’m sure i’ll be fine, don’t worry! we agreed to just have dinner today and let me test the waters… we’re really just doing whatever i feel comfortable doing for now,” you explained to the two of them, smoothing out the dress before grabbing your bag. “so yeah, i’m ready, i think. i mean if anything was to happen, i’ll let you know right away. i really have to go now though, you guys coming?”

nobara made a noise of protest, not wanting to get up from your bed which promptly earned her a nudge from maki. you giggled at your friend’s antics, grasping her arm to pull her up. as lighthearted and happy as you acted, you tried to hide your nervousness in front of your friends. worrying them did no good. as the three of you made your way to the restaurant, you checked your phone to see a text message from choso who asked to meet you in front of the building. you agreed, telling him that you would be there soon. the phone pinged again, choso had sent you a simple smiley. it made you grin a little, earning a suggestive glance from nobara whom you gently shoved.

"text us if anything happens, yeah? we can also pick you up afterwards so don't worry about it," maki reminded you again as you rounded the corner of the street, stopping mere meters in front of the restaurant so you could say goodbye to them. again, you reassured them that you would do as they suggested. you would be fine, because after all, choso was a professional. waving at your friends’ retreating figures, you slowly walked towards the entrance and let your eyes wander. the streets were busy, you couldn’t immediately make out anyone who was waiting in front of the restaurant. not that you really knew what choso looked like, you just hoped your search wouldn’t get more difficult with people waiting in the front. glancing at your reflection on the windows of a parking car, you made sure that you looked presentable and approachable.

“y/n?” your soul nearly left your body as you got startled by a deep voice behind you, now suddenly being aware of the figure behind you. whirling around, you almost hit the other person with your small bag with the swing. your eyes widened and you apologized profusely, fussing around to make sure the person was okay until you paused. wait a minute. this person knew your name. abruptly leaning back so you could look at the person’s face - they were very, very tall - you incredulously stared at them before spluttering: “c- choso? you’re choso?”

the taller male nodded, gently grasping your shoulders to steady you. on your bare skin, his hands felt scalding hot, making you painfully aware of how close you stood to each other. choso, for a lack of better terms, looked nothing like you’d expected but you couldn’t complain. he was attractive, very much so. he almost fit into the bad boy category, the type of men your dad would never let you close to. you felt inexplicably drawn to choso, like a moth to flames and you just couldn’t look away. he stared back at you, dark eyes glinting with concern as he took in your form. as your voice had suggested, you appeared to be a rather shy and timid person, looking at him like a deer in headlights. choso thought you were adorable, the way you were holding onto the sleeves of his shirt to not fall.

“i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to hit you! you just really scared me there,” you apologized again, letting go of the fabric in embarrassment. luckily, he didn’t seem to mind, patiently waiting until you were composed again.

“don’t worry about it, i’m okay. it’s nice to finally meet you. should we head inside?” he offered you his arm which you gratefully took and followed him inside. truth to be told, you were starstruck by him, still too flabbergasted to say another word. thankfully, choso had picked up on your speechlessness, silently chuckling to himself as he led you to your private booth. you sat across from him, quietly thanking the waiter as he handed you the menu. eyes flitting back and forth between it and choso, you fiddled with the hem of your dress. what would you even talk about? you felt awkward, not knowing what to ask him; your confidence had suddenly vanished with the earlier incident.

“you look like you’re about to faint,” choso teased you, giving you a cheeky smile. “i’m not gonna bite you, i promise. i’m supposed to be your fake boyfriend, right? ask me whatever you want, just act like we’re good friends. it’ll get better with time.”

you nodded eagerly, face heating up at the mention of boyfriends. how does one even act around them without prior experience? let’s not dwell on it for too long, you thought to yourself. fidgeting on your seat, you pointed at the menu. "do you already know what you'll be getting? a lot of people online recommended their signature dish so i thought we could try it… but all of their dishes sound really good!"

“how about we order different dishes and try from each other then?” choso suggested in response, amusedly watching how your eyes lit up at his idea. you nodded quickly, delving back into the menu to find your desired dish. glancing over to his side to see what he was looking at, you then pushed your menu over to him, pointing at the dish you would be ordering. choso nodded in understanding, skimming the pages until he found a dish that complimented it. not wanting to let you wait any longer, he gave the waiter a sign, ordering for the two of you. across of him, you stayed quiet, still contemplating what to ask him.

“feel free to ask me anything,” choso reminded you again, propping his chin on his hand and leaned closer to you. “when you first get to know someone, dates are really just to spend time with each other and getting to know the other person. if there’s something you two have in common, you’ll just go from there and bond over it, yeah?”

humming in thought, you nodded and looked up at him. “so uhm… what do you like to do in your free time? i’m still in uni, so i spend most of my days studying. but i really like reading when i’m free and i also volunteer at an animal shelter. the pets there make me really happy!”

“my job takes up the majority of my time, so i try to spend time with family and friends as much as possible. my younger brother has gotten me into surfing and paddle boarding, i really enjoy doing that. what do you study, if i may ask?”

“i want to become a veterinarian in the future! it’s been my dream ever since i was younger, so yeah… you said you have a younger brother? i have an older sister but we don’t have much in common since she’s a lot older than me. but um surfing! so you spend a lot of time at the beach, right? i haven’t been there in a long time.”

“if you still wish to continue after today’s date, we could go to the beach next time? i can teach you, it’s not that difficult.”

surprised, your eyes widened at his suggestion. he seemed to be confident that there would be a next time and you couldn’t even deny that possibility. so far, you were easing into the conversation more and more - the process was more natural than the whole setting suggested. though he still made you nervous, he had been nothing but respectful of your space and friendly. not to mention that you were attracted to him as well; if you hadn’t hired him, you could imagine actually getting close to him.

"i- i'd love that." as you told him more about yourself and listened to his stories, you didn’t notice how much time had passed until the waiter suddenly appeared in front of you, presenting you the dishes. your mouth was watering at the sight of the delicious dishes, you couldn’t wait to dig in. quickly thanking the waiter, you then took a bite from the dish after he left. you sighed in satisfaction, taking your time to properly taste the first bite.

“this is so good, you need to try it!” you gushed, pushing your plate closer to the middle of the table. choso chuckled, sharing his plate with you as well. as you took in all the side dishes, he'd already taken it upon himself to pick up a smaller piece with his chopsticks, nudging it towards you. you looked at him confused, then back at the small piece of food. was he trying to-? carefully, you leaned in and let him feed you, confusion and hesitation immediately melting at the taste. the food made you happy, but the unusual intimacy and closeness that he just showed you wasn't lost in between the myriad emotions.

as you had dinner, the previous conversation continued. choso was a few years older than you, has been working in this industry for two years now and preferred coffee over tea. he disliked early mornings and liked to sleep in until noon. his most precious and valued object was a polaroid camera, he wanted to have photos commemorating important occasions or moments that were special to him. all these little details made you feel like he was less of an escort that you'd hired but more of a friend. much to your surprise, the conversation ran smoothly and there were no awkward, silent gaps. you supposed it was only natural; you felt comfortable with him so it was easy to talk. had it been any other guy who didn't understand you or your intentions so well, you probably would've closed up.

"do you want to take a stroll around the estate? i heard the gardens are really beautiful," you asked choso, a hopeful glint in your eyes. dinner was finished long ago, silence filled with light conversation and teasing from choso’s side. you weren’t sure where to go from this or how to suggest being… more intimate. choso had suggested you would go slow - but how slow was too slow? and if you were to go with the flow, when would be the right time?

“i would love to,” choso’s reply pulled you out of your thoughts, focusing your attention back to him. lost in your thoughts, you nodded and called a waitress over to pay the bill. you felt choso’s gaze on you, making you queasy. what did he think of you? or this entire ordeal? you wondered. as he stood up and moved behind you, you nearly jumped out of your skin when he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you out of the restaurant. the touch was unfamiliar, heavy and scalding even through your clothes, but not unwelcome. a strange feeling welled up in your chest, crawling its way up your throat, constricting it in such a way that it distracted you from coherent thoughts.

seeming to notice your conflict, choso stepped to the side, offering you his hand. you glanced at it, hesitating. “boyfriend experience, remember?” he grinned at you, patiently waiting until you took his hand. his hand was much bigger, almost entirely engulfing yours as you intertwined your fingers. gently swinging your arms back and forth with the flow, choso lead the way through the paths of the garden. having looked forward to it, you suddenly found yourself too distracted by him. the flowers and trees were beautiful and so were the statues but he was the one that caught your attention.

“my hands aren’t sweaty, are they?” you asked after a moment of silence, stopping to face choso. he laughed and shook his head, flicking your forehead gently.

“stop worrying about things too much, you’ll be fine. you don’t see me complaining, do you?”

“i mean that’s true… but i can’t help it! there’s just a lot to uh, think about…” your voice trailed off, you let his hand go to cover your face in embarrassment. choso inched closer to you, grasping your hands to pry them off your face. remaining stubborn, you pulled them back in, a giggle breaking from your lips when he tried again, playfully pinching your cheeks.

“want me to take your mind off said things?” he asked with a low voice, inching in further until your back hit a tree trunk behind you. he was so close, too too close. weakly, you pushed at his chest, trying to get him to back off. the sudden closeness that threw you off - your heart was racing at a million miles an hour, the endless possibilities dancing around your head. “how so?” your voice came out quiet and breathless, as if you were anticipating anything, something… his touch perhaps?

“do you feel comfortable with me?” without hesitating, you nodded in agreement. choso didn’t question you any further, simply gave you a knowing smile before diving in and pressing his lips against yours. instinctively, you stiffened, hands clenching around the fabric of choso’s shirt. breath caught up in your throat, you struggled to ease into it. you pulled away from him, squeezing your eyes shut in shame.

“i’m sorry that-”

“don’t apologize,” choso comforted you quickly, clasping your hands in his and intertwining them. thumbs gently rubbing the back of your hands, he lifted one of them to press a kiss against your knuckles. you blinked perplexed; your heart fluttered at the gesture. “don’t overthink it, there’s no science to it, yeah? just follow the flow, whatever feels good. we’ll go from there.”

giving you a moment to collect yourself, he leaned back in, silently waiting for permission. again, your breath hitched but this time, it wasn’t the nervousness. it was his eyes that drew you in, demanding all of your attention. dark, with unknown depths, that glimmered with mischief. ever so slightly, you tilted your head up to meet his lips. his warm lips pressed against yours, slowly testing the waters and letting you set the pace before deepening the kiss. now less hesitant, you kissed him back with more fervour, losing yourself in the feeling. it felt awkward and strange now that you let him guide you, leaving more space for you to ponder about the feeling that it evoked inside of you. you were glad he was holding your hands, otherwise you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. the kiss brought forth a pleasant, tingling feeling - the sort of feeling that pulled you in, lulling you in warmth.

when choso pulled away, you almost mewled in disappointment, chasing after him. he let out a breathy laugh, cupping your cheek. “how did that feel? was it okay?”

“y- yeah, i liked it. felt very strange at first but once i was able to ease into it, it was… more natural and felt really good,” you explained to him shyly, leaning into his hand. longingly, you gazed at him. would it be weird to ask for another kiss? you wanted explore the feelings more, the intimacy of it, wanted to feel more of him. as if sensing that you were craving more, choso leaned in again, stopping a few centimeters in front of your face. with a sudden surge of boldness, you closed the distance between you, leaning up to kiss him. choso's arm snaked around your waist, pressing you closer to his body. gradually your body felt hotter, a dull ache accompanying it, spreading across the expanse of your stomach.

before you could act on the urge, choso pulled away again, pressing an apologetic kiss to the corner of your lips. "sorry, i don't want to get too carried away and we're… uh in public," he laughed at your horrified expression upon realizing your mistake. "i take it that you're still comfortable with this? do let me know if it gets too overwhelming for you.”

“n- no, it’s fine! it was uh, an interesting insight. i just wasn’t expecting to really get into this, considering- considering i hired you for this and don’t really know you.”

choso hummed in agreement. “i guess there has to be at least a smidge of attraction for it to work, yeah?” you looked at him stunned, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. you couldn’t place it; couldn’t place the feeling of longing that was emerging in you. when he looked at you like that, it was difficult to remind yourself that he was just an escort that you hired for your personal problems. when he looked at you like that, it filled you with warmth, making you want to pretend that he really cared about you as if you were in a relationship.

“yeah… yeah, i guess so.”

nervously, you were twiddling with your phone, contemplating whether to text choso or not. after the last “date”, you felt confident enough in continuing your… relationship of sorts. he was great at guiding you, always making sure you were comfortable and moving at your pace. you did let him know that you would book another session, you just hadn’t set up a date or time yet. and casually texting him felt awkward. hey, how’s your day? oh by the way, i wanna book another session so we can make out haha? maybe calling was a better idea. there was no plan ahead, never did you think you would even get this far.

the dial tone made you nervous. you chewed on your bottom lip as you waited for him to pick up, bouncing your leg up and down. maybe he was busy? it was early in the afternoon after all, he was probably already out with other clients. “hello? y/n?” choso sounded groggy, his voice raspy and deep as if he’d just gotten up. it sent electric shocks right down your spine, raising goosebumps across your skin. never had you thought about a man’s morning voice before, but choso had you wondering, imagining. you spluttered: “oh hey uh are you busy? i’m not interrupting you with something, am i?”

“not at all, i just got up,” choso admitted with a quiet chuckle. “everything okay? are you calling in for another appointment?”

“ah, yeah! i thought that we worked quite well and there’s still a few more things i want to learn with you, if you’re up for it? if you’re comfortable with it too, of course!”

“mhmm, i wouldn’t mind,” choso pondered from the other side. sounds of rustling and a few clangs resounded before you could clearly hear his voice again. you were glad that he agreed to it, meaning that you weren’t entirely… hopeless in that department. for days, his words were ghosting around in your head, a constant reminder that he seemed to find you attractive as well. not that he showed it, staying professional despite the nature of your relationship. it was nice to imagine that someone would look at you like that, at your shy and timid self.

choso was meticulous about his work, working on every detail and concern until he was satisfied. even though he looked so easy going, from time to time he had to admit that he was a perfectionist and easily frustrated when something didn't go the way he expected. so when you rolled around, so innocently asking for help, it threw him off. the feelings of confusion grew when he first met you, unable to pinpoint the origin of this urge, possessive and demanding, reaching its tendrils out to you. the way you reached out to him for help, the fact that you wanted to continue, wanted him to teach you. it thrilled him to the core when it really should not. he had to remain professional. but he was curious, so curious. indulging a little wouldn't hurt, right?

to choso's surprise, the next venue you'd chosen was the own comfort of your home. you were barely acquaintances, more like strangers, and yet you felt confident to invite him here. at the phone you had told him that your friends thought you had weird ideas about dates due to only seeing glorified versions of them on tv shows and movies. it embarrassed you enough to take their advice, inviting choso over for a movie night as opposed to visiting another fancy venue with him. prior to the date, you went through movie suggestions and rented the ones that you thought were interesting and enjoyable for the two of you. despite your put together attire and look, your apartment did not reflect the sentiment. it was a little chaotic; books and paper stacking up in every free corner of the apartment, pens strewn across surfaces and here and there choso could spot memorabilia and photos.

you gave choso an apologetic look when you let him in. despite your best efforts to clean up, you were still not happy with the outcome. tidying wasn't your strong suit but you tried to make it as accommodating as possible. choso assured you that he didn't mind at all, telling you that it added to the charm of the apartment. it was unusual to have someone other than your friends or family in the apartment - your home was your sacred space that you rarely ever showed anyone else, let alone someone you had hired. choso took a seat on the couch, turning to look at you as you went to grab some glasses and drinks.

"i uh, told my friends about my plans and they just told me i have weird expectations of dates," you explained choso, placing the items you'd grabbed on the coffee table and rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly. "they said it would probably just be better to have a simple movie night since a lot of people do that. and it would… make things a lot easier i- if we go fu- further…" the implication was hanging in the air, you didn't dare to speak them out. choso gave you a knowing smile, patting the empty space beside him. gingerly, you sat next to him, squeaking in surprise when he snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you to his side. with wide eyes, you stared at him, still trying to wrap your head around the casual close proximity with the taller male.

wordlessly, you started a random movie, trying to focus on it. throughout the duration of it, choso would ask you questions about your day, how uni was going or whether you felt comfortable. you couldn't focus, not with him being so close. how you made it through the first movie you didn't know. you were hyper aware of choso's wandering hands, the ghost touches his fingers left, how he absentmindedly rubbed your legs that were resting on his lap. straining to keep your eyes on the screen, your neck already felt stiff from the tension.

"i can tell that you're distracted, you know?" choso hummed, hands squeezing your legs gently to catch your attention. pretending to not be affected by it, you shook your head. you didn't want to show him that you wanted to proceed, not yet.

"i'm trying to concentrate," you shushed him quietly, playfully pushing at his arm but still not looking over to him. silence. you assumed you'd convinced him that there was nothing wrong until you felt his hands innocently move a little higher, rubbing the top of your thighs. clenching your fists, you stayed put, unwavering in your resolve. choso's hands wandered, alternating between featherlight touches to using more pressure. he kept his eyes on you, gauging your reactions to him. you brought your hand up to cover half of your face. it was embarrassing, the way your breath came out laboured in response. without warning, arms were hooked under your knees, dragging you across the couch and seated you on his lap. you made a noise in protest, now finally paying attention to him. choso wasn’t sure why but it had bothered him that you were so adamant on keeping your attention on the movie as opposed to keeping your eyes on him.

choso wasn’t sure why but he craved your attention, wanted you to look at him only. his resolve crumbled when you looked at him with wide eyes, grasping the sleeves of his shirt to steady yourself. he couldn’t help but kiss you, swallowing your surprised mewl before you returned the kiss. pleased at your eagerness, he gradually deepened the kiss, licking at the seams of your lips. you gasp in surprise and parted your lips slightly, whimpering in anticipation. it felt unfamiliar and yet thrilling at the same time, fueling and flaring up the dull ache in the pit of your stomach. before choso could go any further, you pulled away and hid your face in the crook of his neck. “what’s wrong? did i go too far?” he questioned concerned, rubbing your back in soothing circles.

“no, no, not at all,” reassuring him quickly, you awkwardly turned in his lap, legs still thrown over it. “i uh just wanted to try to take initiative myself, figure things out without getting hints from you… if that’s okay?”

a sigh of relief left choso’s lips. silently, he gave you his approval and leaned back, watching as you shuffled clumsily. finally, you straddled his lap and placed your hands on his chest. in the dim light, you couldn’t make out his face expression - choso was glad that you couldn’t, otherwise you would have been able to see how much it was affecting him, how he was slowly losing his composure and control around you. but this was about you, he was there to help you explore this type of intimacy. releasing another shaky breath, you then leaned in and softly kissed him. you kept a languid tempo, slowly and surely cracking his restraint. trying to mirror what he’d done earlier, you pushed further, timidly licking into his mouth as he parted his lips.

seemingly not being able to hold back anymore, choso pushed against you with equally as much fervour, gripping your chin and tilting your head ever so slightly. his lips moved against yours, sucking your bottom lip, eliciting a whimper from you. again the ache in the pit of your stomach was flaring up, uncomfortable and yearning for relief; you moved against his lap, pressing your body against his when your crotch dragged against the bulge in his jeans. choso groaned, hands flying to grasp your hips and steady you.

dazed, you gave him a confused look. choso cleared his throat, lifting his hips ever so slightly so you could feel his arousal again. when the realization hit you, your face heated up - you were surprised to find out that he felt aroused… by you.

“oh.”

“yeah.” choso retorted dryly, hands rubbing at his face in embarrassment. “fuck, i’m so sorry. it wasn’t meant to get out of hand like this, i don’t know how far you planned ahead for today but i-”

“uhm if you don’t mind…” you hesitated. but curiosity simply got the better of you, you wanted to see him breathless and feel as hot and bothered as you did. “could i uhm. you know? give you a handjob? only if you don’t mind because i want to know how to please uhm, please people.”

choso swore under his breath. you had no idea how painfully hard you were making him. quietly encouraging you, he leaned in to kiss you again and guided your hands to his jeans. you fumbled with the button and zipper, hands trembling slightly. it took you a few tries until you were finally able to unzip his pants, a giggle left your lips at the thought of how clumsy you were. your hands gently rubbed at the tent in his boxers, breath hitching as choso’s hips jerked. gaining some courage, you slightly put on more pressure and watched fascinated when choso’s fingers digged into the fleshy skin of your hips in anticipation. slowly, you pulled the waistband of his boxers down until it revealed his cock. choso hissed at the cold air that was biting at his skin.

carefully, you wrapped your hand around the shaft, marvelling at how the skin felt on your hands. sensing your cluelessness, choso wrapped his larger hand around yours and guided you into a slow rhythm to get you used to the movement. sucking in a deep breath between his teeth, he praised you: “you’re doing good, y/n. fuck, you’re being such a good girl.”

your heart soared at the praise. eagerly, you leaned up to kiss him, still stroking him in slow movements. choso moaned against your lips, the deep sound spurring you on, eager to hear more of his reactions. when you finally felt more comfortable continuing on your own, choso pulled his hands away and instead settled them on the small of your back, sliding them down until they were resting on your bum. you wrapped your other hand around him as well and paid attention to his reactions, adjusting the pressure and pace accordingly. choso buried his face in the crook of your neck, whispering sweet praises in between his moans. eventually your name left his lips; it set your entire body in flames, desperate want clinging onto your bones.

“fuck, i’m close,” he groans against the skin of your neck, hips rutting up to meet your movements more frantically now. you weren’t entirely sure what to do, opting to simply match the pace. shudders wrecked through choso’s body as he came, warm cum painting your small hands and running down your fingers. he was panting, leaning back against the couch and watching you with hooded eyes. the sight in front of you stirred something inside of you - choso’s flushed face, the slight sheen of sweat on his skin, his kiss-bitten lips. with curiosity, you inspected the liquid on your hand. lazily, choso grasped your wrist, holding them away from you. “‘m sorry. do you have a tissue?”

you tilted your head, tugging on the sleeves of his sweater with your other hand. “uh i- i’ve heard from others… um. can i try?” you asked quietly. choso’s grip on your wrist weakened; he gave you an incredulous look, as if you few two heads. out of all things, he didn’t expect you to suggest that. fuck, he felt the blood rushing right back down to his cock. just the thought of you, doing that - it was enough to make him cum again. “go ahead, if you feel like it,” choso whispered in a low voice. dark urges overcame him again, begging him to give in, to make you bend to his will, to submit, to-

his thoughts came to a screeching halt when he saw you unashamedly pop a finger in your mouth, licking the come from it. there wasn’t any reaction from you really, you gave him a sheepish smile afterwards and gratefully took the tissue he offered you. he helped you wipe your hands, diving in for another kiss. “sorry, i think i just short circuited,” choso laughed embarrassedly, another kiss was pressed to your temple. “that was just… uh- fuck.”

“r- really?” you stammered, hiding your face in your hands. “it’s okay if it wasn’t that great for you, it was my first time after all, i-”

choso hushed you, going for another open mouthed kiss, eliciting a whimper from you. “yeah, really. fuck, the things i want to do to you,” he shook his head, not wanting to get sidetracked again. “but this is about you. we’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable. did you feel like you learned enough for today?”

“mh- hmm. thank you,” you leaned your head against his chest, closing your eyes as a sudden tiredness washed over you. choso’s fingers dancing across your skin were slowly lulling you into a comfortable slumber. “what is it that you want to do to me? will you show me one day?”

choso cursed, shivers running down his spine.

“if you want to, of course.”

-----------

now that you’d met choso a couple of times, it was pretty obvious that you took some liking to him. after that fateful day, nothing else had happened as you wanted to work on easing into relationship dynamics and feeling less insecure about things - choso had been nothing but sweet and mindful about it, even went out of his way to find suitable locations for your dates. somewhere along the way you had started to text more casually, the strictly business type texting long forgotten. gradually, the two of you opened up to each other, the lines between escort and client slowly blurring and intertwining.

choso had promised to pick you up after your shift at the animal shelter for your next date; for today he had suggested you come over to his place for a change. the thought that he was willing to let you in his home, let you have a glimpse into his personal life, it made you giddy with anticipation. despite getting closer to each other, he remained a mysterious person and you didn't want to pry. after all, you were merely his client. but what if you were more- patting your cheeks to put some sense back into you, you leaned down to pet the dogs. unbeknownst to you, choso had already entered the building and watched you with a soft smile as you gave each of the dogs their deserved belly rubs before you left.

you didn't take any notice of him until some of the dogs perked up and carefully trudged over to sniff at the stranger. turning around on your heels, your eyes widened as you took in choso's tall figure. you quickly apologized, telling him that you would be joining him right away to which he simply shook his head and reassured you that you were fine. your co-workers were eyeing choso curiously, one of them wiggling their eyebrows at you. in response, you waved it off, too embarrassed to set the record straight. choso looked so awfully much like a boyfriend in this moment - the way he was dressed in casual clothes that accentuated his physical features so well, the soft smile he gave you as he offered you his hand to take, the way he sounded genuinely interested and curious when he asked you about your day.

silently, you took his hand and followed him out of the building - you could feel your co-workers’ inquisitive gazes like laser beams on your back. while they were never particularly nosy about your personal life, it was unusual that someone would pick you up from work; much less someone that you seemed to be romantically interested in. surely, they would grill you the next time you would return to work. “they think you’re my boyfriend,” you explained to choso sheepishly, glancing down at your intertwined hands. choso squeezed your hand and nudged your side gently. “am i not?” he winked at you cheekily, making your face heat up. he had asked in such a serious voice that you’d briefly questioned yourself.

“n- no, not really,” you replied quietly, looking away from him. choso reached around you to open the car door for you. in the window reflection you could see his face expression; it was rather somber, almost as if your words had hurt him in a way. the emotion was gone from his face when you blinked. maybe you had just imagined it. getting close to him on that level was unattainable, no matter how you twisted it. it just wasn't right.

the car ride was mostly quiet, only the sound of choso's car playlist accompanying you. somewhere along the way he had reached out to intertwine your fingers, resting his hand on your thigh. holding hands was almost natural to you now, the way his hands automatically sought out yours whenever possible. in response, your heart was racing, filling with the all too familiar feeling of yearning. whether you were simply yearning for the intimacy and closeness of a relationship or for him, you weren't entirely sure. while choso had told you about himself for the sake of the fake dating, there were still unknown facettes. it was impossible for you to get to know all of him, not when he was selling a fantasy to you. and yet, you found yourself craving more of him, beyond what he was willing to show you.

choso parked his car in the garage, turning his body sideways so he could look at you. "you okay? you look like you were quite lost in thoughts," he hummed curiously, rubbing circles on the back of your hand. what could you possibly answer to that? hey i'm questioning our fake relationship and it's going beyond what i expected? abruptly, choso hoisted you across the seat onto his lap as if you'd weighed nothing. "a penny for your thoughts? or should i take your mind off things?"

"i- i think i would… rather not talk about it," you whispered quietly, gaze skirting away from his eyes. choso frowned, slightly irritated - he had a small inkling why he reacted this way but banned the thought to the back of his head. he understood that as a client, you wouldn't disclose details of your private life to him. but he found it difficult to circumvent your dropping mood when he couldn't tell what was going on.

"i understand," choso was about to open the door when you suddenly cupped his chin and dove in for a kiss. he was caught off guard - rarely did you ever initiate kisses, usually shyly asking beforehand. feeling bold, you pressed you pressed your hips down, grinding against his crotch. choso groaned, gripping your hips to guide you while thrusting his hips up to meet yours. he enjoyed how you shuddered at the newfound pleasure, the delicious friction making your toes curl. "does baby want me to take her mind off things?" he murmured with a raspy voice, peppering kisses across your jaw.

"please," you mewled needily, hands grabbing onto his shoulders, fingers digging into his skin. choso complied, sliding his hand up to tangle in your hair and gently pulled at it, tilting your head back. you were panting by the time he was moving down the column of your neck, nipping and sucking at your skin. lower and lower, until he reached the top of your breasts; with swift movements, he yanked your shirt and bra upso , pressing open mouthed kisses to them before wrapping his lips around your nipple. your voice cracked as you moaned his name, hands flying up to bury your hands in his hair. distracted by the ministrations, you didn’t notice choso’s free hand sliding down your front until you feel the coldness of his hands on your skin. you squirmed, giggling at the cool sensation - the giggle died abruptly when he dove lower, fingers rubbing your clothed pussy languidly.

“c- choso! we’re still in the g- garage, people can see!” you stuttered scandalized, tugging at the tips of his hair to grab his attention. choso simply hummed, carrying on as if you hadn’t just told him your concerns. rubbing circles on your clit, he watched with satisfaction how your legs were trembling, writhing in pleasure. just the sight of you - hickeys on your neck, slightly swollen lips, shirt pushed up to reveal your tits, his hands down your pants - it was so arousing and thrilling, he almost didn’t want to stop.

“the windows are tinted and no one’s around at this time… do you really want me to stop?” he murmured with a low voice, fingers pushing your panties to the side to gather the slick up on his fingers. “look at you, how much you’re craving it. the want is written all over your face, baby. do you want to stop now?”

before you know it, choso’s hand is suddenly hovering over your face, fingers glimmering with your arousal. you shot him a dazed look, confusion evident on your face. “open,” he instructed softly, slowly and carefully sliding his fingers in your mouth. almost instinctively, your hands gingerly grasped his wrist. your lips wrapped around them, tasting the liquid curiously. his breath hitched, blood shooting down his groin - fuck, you were going to kill him. tentatively, he thrusted his fingers, slow enough so he could gauge your reaction to it. you didn’t know what it was - the taste of yourself, the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the way he was looking at you with hooded eyes and a hungry expression on his face; it made you squirm, eagerly for more. choso immediately took notice of your sudden mood shift. barely noticeable, your hips were rocking back and forth as you sucked on his fingers, cleaning them of your slick.

with a pop, choso removed his fingers. you whimpered his name, gasping in relief when he slid them back down, moving your panties to the side. his thumb found your clit, rubbing the little nub gently in slow circles. as if he was in no hurry and unbothered by the prospect that someone could actually spot you, he continued his ministrations. your legs jerked, threatening to close when you felt his fingers prod at your entrance. excruciatingly slow, he sunk a finger into you. the feeling was unfamiliar, almost uncomfortable at first. seizing up, you clenched around the finger. “relax, ease into it,” choso whispered reassuringly, capturing your lips in a kiss. “it’ll feel good, i promise.”

choso inserted a second finger, letting you get used to the feeling of them. the kisses he was peppering on your chest were distracting you from the burning stretch, creating a confusing mix between pain and pleasure. “how are you feeling?”

“f- feels good, i- i-” you were struggling to form coherent sentences, too focused on how he was lapping at your nipples, sucking and kissing them gently. “y- you can continue…”

steadily, choso started to thrust his fingers into you - gradually, the burn was disappearing and replaced by a delicious stretch, pleasure that was spreading throughout your body and setting your nerves on fire. desperately clinging onto his shirt, you hid your face in the crook of his neck. choso placed a kiss on the crown of your head, whispering sweet praises and telling you what a good girl you were. it felt good, so good but something was missing, you needed something, maybe more. you started begging and despite blabbering nonsensical things, choso understood what you were asking of him. his fingers hit a peculiar spot inside of you when he curled them, making you jerk in surprise. “o- oh!” again and again, choso was hitting the spot, making you writhe on his lap.

something was building up in the pit of your stomach, like a tightened coil that was about to snap at any time. panicking slightly, you grabbed choso’s hand and tried to close your legs, wiggling away from him: “h- hey wait, i-” another moan broke from your lips when choso sealed your lips with his and wrapped his arm around your waist, locking you in place. “it’s okay, let go, baby. cum for me,” he whispered against your lips, sinking his fingers in you one last time. and then the coil snapped, the high crashing over you like a riptide, so blinding and intense that it took you a while to come down from it. your thighs were still trembling by the time you came back to your senses, ripples of pleasure still cursing through you.

you slump against choso's chest, exhausted from the intensity of your orgasm but feeling wonderfully blissed out. choso removed his hand from you, licking your arousal from his fingers before wiping them off on a paper towel. he brushed his fingers through your hair, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "how are you feeling? can you move?"

"my legs feel like jelly," your voice came out muffled, face still pressed into his chest. "'m feeling good though. that was… really nice."

"i'll carry you upstairs," choso declared matter-of-factly, hoisting you up so he could carry you. you slung your arms around his neck, pecking the side of his neck. his scent was faint but calming, lulling you into a sense of home and comfort. you wanted to stay close to him like this, just having him hold you in his arms. a myriad of emotions welled up in you, swallowing all your doubts until all that was left was the budding blossoms of your feelings for him, nurtured by his soft touches and adoring treatment. you wanted to cherish him, keep him close for as long as you could, as long as you could still have him.

"thank you."

"for what?" choso sounded surprised.

"taking care of me? i mean i pay you for it but i still wanted to let you know that i appreciate it."

“everything for you, baby,” choso replied softly, tightening his grip around you. as you got to his apartment, choso placed you on the couch and knelt down, hands wrapping around yours. “do you want to get changed? i’ll lend you some of my clothes, you can get changed in my room or in the bathroom if you want to freshen up.”

he was so so considerate, you couldn’t believe someone as nice as him existed out there. as you agreed, choso disappeared in his room; the sound of opening doors and drawers as well as rustling resounded from his room. you took the opportunity to observe his home. it was a small but cozy apartment, despite being sparsely decorated. in the back of the living room, you could spot some bags and boxes, presumably choso’s surfing equipment, as well as posters and photos cluttered on a pinboard. here and there, some little figurines and trinkets were spread across the apartment. although it was cozy, the apartment lacked some kind of presence, some warmth. you assumed that it had to do with choso’s job - he probably was rarely home between work and spending time with friends and family.

“here you go,” choso handed you a big sweatshirt and some shorts as he came back, patting your head teasingly. “go and get changed, i’ll start preparing dinner, yeah?”

you hid in the bathroom and got changed, neatly folding your clothes and stacking them on the counter. inspecting yourself in the mirror, you admired the size of choso’s sweater - it was a simple and cream coloured sweater that was entirely dwarfing and engulfing you. the sleeves were way too long and the hem almost reached your knees. but it was soft and comfy, coming close to choso’s hugs. you pulled the shorts up your legs, awkwardly securing them by tucking them underneath the sweater. choso had set up some boiling water and was silently chopping vegetables by the time you left the bathroom and tip toed towards the kitchen. “can i help you with anything?”

“no it’s okay, take a seat. do you want anything to drink? water? tea?” reluctantly, you sat at the small table on the side, pouting at him. choso simply laughed and shook his head, bringing a glass of water over. your heart jumped in surprise when he kissed your forehead as he placed the glass on the table. “i’ll take care of you for today. boyfriend duties, remember? the past times you’ve always taken us out on restaurants and incredible locations and now it’s my turn to show you the boyfriend magic.”

sudden dread filled your stomach. how could choso be so warm and kind-hearted to you, when you weren’t even in a relationship? you keep having to remind yourself that this was what he was doing for a living, that you might possibly never know the real him. that this might just be a mask that he kept on for the sake of your requests. you didn’t reply, deep in your thoughts as you stared at the glass of water. choso returned back to his previous task, cooking dinner in silence. your chest felt heavy with uncertainty and disappointment - you tried your best to push the emotions down. they were irrational, you knew full well what you were getting yourself into when you asked for his service.

thankfully, choso didn’t seem to have picked up on your sullen mood, even throughout dinner - you let no emotions shine through when you conversed with him, choosing to keep it lighthearted. you offered to wash the dishes, not wanting him to lift another finger when you could help him in return. as you scrubbed the bowls, choso creeped up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder. “you wanna watch a movie? or go to bed already? you’ve had a long day at work after all.”

“hmm, yeah. i think i’d prefer going to bed, if that’s okay for you?”

“i could never say no to cuddles,” choso hummed, capturing your lips in another kiss. you whimpered against them, not being able to resist him. he moaned against your lips, grip on you tightening. “please don’t tempt me, it’s so hard to say no to you,” he warned you with a strained voice.

your face grew warm at the memories of a few hours ago. you couldn’t believe you let him do that, let him finger you in his car in the garage. no one had seen you and you were thankful for that but you wanted the ground to swallow you whole at the thought of someone possibly snitching on you. your father would lose his mind. “is- is it not what you want?”

“of course i do, but not today. baby steps, remember? we have all the time in the world. and i can assure you that i very much want you,” with one last peck on your lips, he removed himself from you and disappeared in his room. he wanted you. your heart was soaring at his confession. you were relieved to know that he was craving you as much as you were yearning for him. maybe you would indulge, just for a couple more times until you would inevitably have to cut off the relationship. you felt at peace with your decision, you told yourself. nothing good would come from false hope.

after washing up, you joined choso on the bed, shyly crawling towards him as he opened his arms and welcomed you. he pulled you into his chest, nearly crushing you with his weight. it made you giggle and squirm in his arms, trying to wiggle out of his hold. choso was having none of it, peppering kisses all over your face as he trapped you in place. gasping for air in between your carefree laughter, you weakly pushed at his head, squealing when he dove in to blow raspberries on your neck. he showed mercy and let up, instead curiously inspecting your neck as he pulled the neckline of your, no his, sweater down. something dark was glinting in his eyes as his eyes zoomed in on the hickeys he had left on your neck and chest - he felt strangely satisfied, pleased with his work of art. a sliver of possessiveness overcame him as he traced the trail of red marks on your neck, humming quietly.

“something wrong with my neck?” you questioned confused, not having spotted the hickeys yet. choso shook his head, simply laid back on his side again to look at you. “not at all. was just inspecting the hickeys i left on you.”

“you left marks?” you gaped at him, mildly shocked at the revelation. though he was preoccupied with your neck earlier, you didn’t expect him to actually leave so many marks, much less ones that were visible. “is… is that a common occurrence?”

“for couples? i think so. but i can’t speak for everyone; if it was me, i would do it frequently. stake my claim on you, let everyone know that you’re mine,” choso replied and casually draped the blanket over the two of you, as if he didn’t just admit to doing something he would normally do with a lover. did he think of you as his? you struggled to decipher his actions, not being able to match it with a specific reason.

“that’s uh-” your stuttering was interrupted by another horrifying thought. “oh god, i can’t let my parents see this, they will kill me.”

choso shot you a confused look. you hadn’t told him about your parents yet or how you were hiding this from them.

“my parents… especially my dad, are very cautious about letting me venture out in romantic relationships. it’s mostly because he didn’t feel like anyone was good enough for me and because he didn’t want me to get hurt. sometimes i felt like those princesses locked up in a tower, you know? so i decided to explore and uh, hired you. i didn’t want to burden my friends with having to help me gain some experience,” you explained to choso, eyes widening when he suddenly grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to it. he winked at you cheekily before leaning over you to turn off the lights. you felt him press a gentle kiss to your lips but you couldn’t make out his face expression in the dark. choso preferred it like this, so you couldn’t tell the vulnerable look on his face, the ache of knowing that he could never fully be yours.

“then i’m glad i get to serve a princess such as you.”

----------

“you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with choso,” nobara commented as she took a sip from her coffee, reaching out to grab one of the muffins you had ordered. you looked away in embarrassment. it’s been nearly two months since you’ve started to meet up with choso. your dates became more frequent, even the casual texting continued. and yet you hadn’t really told your friends about your progress or how you felt about him, either brushing it off or giving them vague details. it was only natural that nobara and maki grew suspicious, vowing to grill you about it the next time you would meet up. “have you done the deed?”

“n- no! not yet,” you answered hastily, the topic still making you feel bashful. though you had talked to choso about it; he had agreed and hinted that you might go all the way the next time you would meet up. it was weird, scheduling something like this. but you felt more at ease knowing that it was approaching and you could somewhat prepare your nerves for it. “we talked about it though… next time, maybe?”

“i see,” maki nodded slowly, deep in thought. “you’ve been skirting around this escort thing a lot. is there something you’re hiding from us?”

“nope! not at all!”

“y/n… we’re looking out for you as friends. i know you told us that you trust choso and that he’s the nicest person you have ever but is there something more?” maki gave you a gentle nudge. the serious look in her eyes told you that you better not give her a lame excuse. even nobara, who was usually playful in nature, looked mildly concerned. as much concern as she could muster up anyways. sheepishly, you stared at your mug, watching the milk swirl with your hot chocolate. surely, they would tell you to stop seeing him, to stay away. because catching feelings for someone whose true feelings and self you could never uncover… should have been something you could have prevented. if only it hadn’t been so easy to give in, so easy to develop feelings for choso.

“uhm. i just realized that i like him, like a lot. i know i shouldn’t and should have circumvented the issue somehow but now i’m stuck with my feelings. and it’s just confusing. before you get mad at me, i’ve already decided to cut it off after our next date. i can’t dwell on it for too long because realistically, nothing is going to happen.”

wordlessly, nobara gave you a hug, patting your back to soothe you. “is he really that great though?” maki lightly swatted nobara’s arm and gave her an eyeroll. her comment made you laugh, she knew how to lighten up a situation.

“i think so. very gentleman-like and just takes good care of everything. i really appreciate how well he’s been taking care of me this entire time. he just is the perfect boyfriend, you know?” nobara nodded but you could tell from her face that she was trying to put the puzzle pieces together. it made you laugh again, pinching her cheek playfully. you didn’t want to worry your friends too much. they always helped you in every situation and now it was time you would take care of everything yourself.

“i can’t believe this entire time we were trying to find you a perfect partner and you’ve gone and went the whole nine yards, boyfriend experience and heartbreak all together,” maki joked and ruffled your hair, giving you a reassuring smile. “you know we’re there for you if you need emotional support in this, right? we might not be much of a help while you go through the fake breakup but we can help you take your mind off afterwards.”

you sniffled a little at the thought. your next date was fast approaching and you were grateful to have such great friends, who would always look out for you and be understanding even if you made dumb mistakes. your next step would be to learn how to mend a broken heart.

everything had to be perfect. the entire evening you had been on the move, busy cleaning your apartment and room and spending time in the bathroom making yourself look presentable. you still felt nervous exposing all of you to choso, never had anyone seen you naked before. the thought of it had made you so anxious that you’d called nobara who promptly suggested you wear cute underwear and something comfy to ease yourself into it. chances were that choso didn’t really care and wouldn’t judge you anyways; he had always been generous with compliments, always telling you how pretty you looked, how cute you were, and what a good girl you were for him. you didn’t think you could feel so fired up from praises nor did you think that you would be craving to hear them so much until choso came along. the feeling of euphoria that overtook you whenever he praised you, along with the pleasure he gave you whenever you were fooling around - it was a deadly combination.

knocks at the door made you perk up, hastily racing over to the door to let choso in. he chuckled when you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your face in his chest. “hey baby, missed me much, huh? i missed you too,” choso admitted, softly combing his fingers through your hair. you peeked up at him from below, closing your eyes as you leaned into his touch like a cat. “mhmm, missed you a lot,” you mumbled, humming in content as choso pecked your lips briefly before waddling inside the apartment with you in his arms, closing the door behind him

“what am i going to do with you?” he mumbled amused and sat down on the couch, pulling you onto his lap. he squished your cheeks between his hands, kissing your pouty lips with a broad smile. “you always make it so hard for me to leave.”

your heart sunk at his last words, remembering how you were planning to proceed by the end of this date. surely, it couldn’t be so hard and he wouldn’t think much of it since it was all business anyways. and yet, you couldn’t help but seize up with dread, not wanting to hurt him. if, and only if he would actually be affected by it. you placed your hands on his, sticking your tongue out at him. you teased him: “you leave but you always return, right? doesn’t that give you something to look forward to?”

“yeah, always come bouncing back…” choso trailed off, a faraway look on his face. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking - each emotion that surfaced was only fleeting and quickly wiped from his face expression as if it never existed in the first place. perhaps he was keeping his heart as guarded as yours, for baring the most vulnerable parts of yourself could be your downfall. he ran his hands along your thighs, rubbing the bare skin gently, fingers teasingly slipping under the hem of your shorts. your breath hitched in your throat, expecting him to move his hands up further. but by now, choso knew how to play you like a fiddle, what drew beautiful moans out of you, what made you whimper in anticipation and how to build up tension. he knew how to tease you and use it to his advantage; knew well that you would follow his instructions like the good girl that you were, never disappointing him. “gotta take care of my princess, hm?”

choso dipped down, brushing the strands of your hair out of the way, showering it in kisses. you mewled quietly, tilting your head to the side to allow him more access to your neck. he was still murmuring between kisses, telling you how sweet you were, how he was going to make you sing his name, how he was going to take care of you. the whispered praises were getting to your head, you easily melted into his touch. “c- choso,” you gasped, already drowning in him as his presence clouded your senses, wrapping around you as if nothing else but him existed. “please touch me.”

“your wish is my command,” choso lifted you up as if you weighed nothing, carrying you to your bedroom with ease. gently, he dropped you on the bed, simply hovering over you without saying a word. the look in his eyes knocked the air out of your lungs; you loved his eyes, his dark brown eyes that were filled with so much warmth and love, now darkened and filled with lust. he observed you, waiting for you to make a move - you stayed still, tense with anticipation. with every single intimate encounter you had with him, you gradually learned that choso enjoyed being in control, overjoyed when you were obedient and remembered what he had told you. he liked having you at his mercy, being the first and only one to discover the expanse of your body, to pleasure you in ways you were yet to familiarize yourself with.

choso’s tapped your lips, carefully sliding two fingers in when you willingly parted your lips and sucked on them. the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the dazed look on his eyes as he watched you - it was all so erotic, so arousing. you lifted your hips, grinding against his thighs for some kind of relief. it drew a slightly irritated click of the tongue from choso, gently pressing his fingers against your tongue. but he enjoyed the view, seeing how you wanted him so much, how you were seeking relief by humping his thigh. you could already feel yourself soaking through your panties and your thin shorts, arousal smearing across choso’s thigh and leaving a wet spot on his jeans.

pulling his fingers out of your mouth, he slid them down, lower and lower, smearing your spit across your skin. his fingers stopped right at the buttons of your blouse, playfully rolling them between his fingers. slowly, he unbuttoned the blouse, pushing the fabric off your shoulders to reveal your bra. you squirmed, suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed about being so exposed in front of him. “you’re beautiful,” choso reminded you. “don’t hide from me. i want to see all of you.”

reluctantly, you kept your arms at your sides, instead clenching your fingers around the fabric of your comforter. teasingly, his hands dragged across the tops of your breasts before dipping lower. “look at you, how soaked you are already. you’ve even left a spot on my jeans. i haven’t even touched you properly yet… has my princess missed me this much?” he mused, gently rubbing circles across your skin. he was careful not to move anywhere close to your crotch, resolutely keeping his hand near your navel.

“yes, please touch me,” you mewled, grasping his hand to guide him towards the hem of your shorts. his hand splayed across your mound, rubbing in deliberately slow movements, making you sigh in relief. choso tugged on your shorts, dragging them down your legs with ease. you clenched your eyes shut, hiding your face behind your hands. choso stayed silent for a few seconds and simply admired you in the dim light of your room. he could tell that you'd chosen a nice set of underwear to impress him - you looked so cute in it, like a present waiting to be unwrapped. he took notice of the dark patch on the crotch of your panties, how they were clinging onto your skin and how your arousal was glistening on your inner thighs.

"you look breathtaking," choso complimented you, gently removing your hands from your face. "i told you not to hide, didn't i? give me all of you, baby."

you blinked a few times, sheepishly thanking him. his praises overwhelmed you, making your chest swell with pride. but still, you didn't know how to react when he was singing your praises, too bashful to reply coherently. choso removed your panties in painstakingly slow movements, leaving trails of kisses on your inner thighs up to your ankle. throwing your panties to the floor, he then pulled your legs over his shoulders. you watched him bewildered, not sure what to make of it. the position made you feel oddly exposed; all of your senses were heightened, strained to focus on choso only. the oversensitivity caused your hips to jerk when choso’s breath hit your pussy, keen on receiving attention. the swipe of his tongue on your slit was something you didn’t expect - the sensation was new, uncharted territory, so different from his fingers. it drew a whimper from your lips, making your toes curl against his back.

languidly, he was lapping at your folds, taking his time to get you used to the feeling. it wasn’t until his tongue dragged across your clit, lips wrapping around it to suck gently, that whines and whimpers spilled forth from your lips. your hips automatically lurched forward, rocking against his face. you couldn’t wrap your head around the pleasure it provided you, how it rendered you into a babbling mess with only his name on your lips like some mantra. needing to busy your hands otherwise, you clenched your fingers around his hair, subconsciously pressing his face into your pussy. choso groaned against you, the slight burn turning him on beyond relief. you felt like you’re floating, higher and higher, rapidly approaching your high and it was still a feeling you’re trying to get used to, a feeling that you readily welcomed and craved.

it was a combination of all the touches that bring you closer to the edge; how he was sucking at your clit before flattening his tongue against your clit, paying close attention to it, how it was repeatedly and rapidly dragging across your folds. it made you sob, begging him to make you cum. choso pulled you even closer, fingers digging into your thighs as he lapped at your swollen clit, again and again until you come with a loud moan, barch arching from the bed, heels digging into choso’s shoulder blades. clenching your eyes shut, you attempted to push his face away from you, now feeling too sensitive. your legs were trembling uncontrollably, you gasped for air as your high washes over you and slowly ebbing away. choso sat up on his knees and only then you see the arousal smeared across his chin and lips. the sight sent electric shocks up your spine, breath hitching in your throat. he looked so fucking hot like this. he gave you no time to be embarrassed about it, wiping the slick off his skin and licking it off his hands.

“c- choso, what-” you croaked, voice all raspy from your relentless moaning. choso didn’t reply, instead kissed you open mouthed - the taste of your arousal was still present on his tongue. in the back of your mind, you thought about how dirty it was and yet so thrilling, eliciting a hunger for him. desperately, you were tugging at his shirt, trying to get it off. you were struggling, huffing in frustration as he didn’t budge. choso laughed, pecking your lips apologetically before taking it off along with his pants. even in the dim light you could make out the bulge in his pants, a testament of much he wanted you. the sight made you salivate, your pussy clenching around nothing. he took notice of your dazed look, grabbing your chin to tilt it up. “are you sure you want this? do you want me?”

you nodded quickly, eyes widening at his question. “of course, i want you, never wanted anything more. please, choso.”

“you have me, all of me,” he retorted, a tender look in his eyes. again, your heart clenched. just one more time you would get to see him like this, pretend he really was your lover. but when he looked at you with so much adoration in his eyes, it was hard to believe that there wasn’t a spark between you. unbeknownst to you, choso had always looked at you with stars in his eyes, hoping that you would return the sentiment. no matter how hard he was keeping his feelings at bay, the cracks were widening, allowing more and more feelings to seep through. with each touch, each word that you exchanged, the dam was weakening and threatening to spill everything that he was keeping inside.

choso gently pressed you back down onto the mattress, fingers fumbling with the condom that he’d pulled out of his jeans. you watched with fascination as he put it on, not being able to take your gaze of it. he grinned, deciding to indulge you, pressing his cock against you. arousal was still leaking from you, allowing him to easily slide against you. deliberately, he nudged the head against your clit until you couldn’t take it anymore. you wiggled your hips, signaling him to do something, do put you out of your misery. choso glanced at you for permission, suddenly seeming to be nervous himself. you gave him a small nod, leaning up to cradle his cheeks and kiss him. choso began to push, slowly slipping past your folds and- the stretching burn, it was there again and made you tense up.

choso grasped your hands, intertwining them and showered your face with kisses, whispering sweet nothings and encouragement. the feeling was familiar and yet strange at the same time, the girth of his fingers were nothing compared to his cock. it was a tight fit; you were aware of him, so aware of him. muffled, you heard choso telling you to relax, that he didn’t want to hurt you, to take your time. he was still pushing, distracting you from the uncomfortable pain with kisses. with one last thrust, he’s pushed the entirety of him in you. faintly, you could feel pain gradually ebbing away. the fullness of him, the throbbing; you clenched around him, a quiet moan leaving your lips as choso’s hips jerk in response.

“you okay? can i move now?” he whispered against your lips. you nodded, feeling choso smile against your lips. your breath hitched in anticipation as he pulls out ever so slightly before thrusting back in. you let out a whimper at the sudden thrum of incoming pleasure, hands squeezing his. choso thrusted his length in and out of you slowly, still wanting you to get used to it. the drag of it against your walls, the way his cock ever so slightly bumped against that spot inside of you that made your body sing - you sobbed out his name, hips tilting up to meet his movements. choso had no qualms obliging to your unspoken wants, upping the pace once he’s made sure you felt comfortable.

slowly, his inhibitions fell apart upon seeing you desperately cling onto him, moaning out his name as he pulled out and drove back in, deeper than before. you saw stars when he hit the spot inside of you, burying himself inside of you completely. it’s been a short amount of time but choso was quick to figure out what made you shake in pleasure in particular, memorizing every little nudge and wiggle that would have you gasp out his name. the closeness, the intimacy, it easily beat everything else that you’ve ever done before but it was now that you realized that no one could compare to choso. while your initial goal was to simply learn and gain some experience, somewhere along the way, you veered off the path. perhaps your goal was never to find out what it was like engaging in sexual activities but rather to experience it with someone you loved. it was then that you realized you didn’t care about these things unless you could experience them with choso.

while choso was no stranger to having people in his bed, the sight of you was one he would never be able to get out of his head again. how your moans and whimpers were getting more frequent with each thrust, how you were sobbing his name whenever he hit particularly deep inside of you, how your small hands were holding onto his, how you clenched around him whenever he praised you. he wanted to keep you for himself, to impale himself in you in such ways that you could never look at other people the same way anymore. “i- i’m close,” you hiccuped between sobs, back lurching from the bed. “choso, p- please, i wanna cum, i-”

“i’ve got you, princess,” he assured you, diving down to kiss you feverishly. relentlessly, his hips pistoned against yours, desperate to make you cum. choso couldn’t hold back any longer, he was close, so close. wanting to cum with you, he reached down to rub your clit. your reaction was almost instantaneous, legs pressing against his side as you came, his name on your lips like a prayer. he came with you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as groans left his lips, mixed with your name and curses. his hips stuttered as they pressed against you one last time, staying in place until he’s spilled all of him in the condom. you felt like you were floating, still dazed from the intensity of your orgasm. absentmindedly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, hand absentmindedly playing with the hair at his nape. choso let out a noise, akin to a cat’s purr, nudging his head against your hand. his gesture made you giggle and you strained your neck to press a kiss against his forehead.

slowly, choso removed himself from you, letting out a breathy laugh as you protested. you made grabby hands at him but he simply tutted, disappearing in the bathroom to dispose of the condom and came back with a wet towel. it felt comforting, the warmth of the towel as well as his gentle touches, lulling you into a sleepy state. it didn’t take long for him to join you again once he was done, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest like the countless times he’s done so before. “how are you feeling? i didn’t hurt you, did i?”

you shook your head, trying to find the right words. in the end, nothing came into your mind to appropriately tell him how mind blowingly good he made you feel so you just settle with: “felt good, really good. didn’t hurt, jus’ felt uncomfortable at first. but you made it okay, it’s okay when it’s with you.”

“i see,” choso let out a relieved breath, laughing as you blinked at him stunned. you looked adorable, still floating and coming down from your high. “i’m glad i was your first, glad i could do it justice. just wanted you to feel good.”

“mhmm, thank you,” you slurred sleepily, arms wrapping around his waist. you felt so warm and loved, not wanting to let go of the feeling just yet. “can we do it again some other day? you promised to show me what you still wanted to do to me.”

“y/n, sweetheart, when will you be coming to visit us again? i know it’s your summer break right now and you’re busy but we thought it might be nice to go on a short family trip. what do you think?” your mother pleaded over the phone. you could see her pout on the screen, her attempt at guilt tripping you into visiting more. truthfully, you felt bad about not having been able to see your family so much - the amount of assignments and final exams was swamping you and you just wanted to get through them before going on vacation. that and the fact that you couldn’t properly look them in the eyes anymore ever since being with choso.

you just couldn’t let go of him, nor could you admit your feelings to him, in fear it would make him uncomfortable. it was irrational, reckless even, to keep paying for a service you technically didn’t need anymore. simply to keep a person you had feelings for around for longer. nobara and maki didn’t know about this either, you knew they would have your head as soon as you confessed. it was irrational and you knew it. and yet it was so hard to let go. with every waking moment, you craved choso, his tenderness and loving gaze, the warmth of his arms, the domesticity that the two of you shared, how natural it seemed when you spent time together. and so you kept returning to him, over and over again

“i’m sorry, mum, i’m just really busy right now. but i promise i’ll let you know when i’m free, okay? i’m sure we can find a fitting date for the trip,” you attempted to soothe your mother, giving her an apologetic smile. she rolled her eyes at you playfully but shrugged it off, knowing that you didn’t mean anything by it. before you could tell her goodbye, your mother suddenly stopped you, waving at the screen.

“sweetheart, one of my friends- her son, i told him about you. he’s a very nice young man and i think you would get along well. when you come visit us, i’ll introduce him to you, yeah?” she explained, a giddy smile creeping onto her lips. “i’ve told him a little about you and your father doesn’t mind either. he has a good background too, i’m trying not to swoon.” she giggled as if she was the one who was to be set up on a date with him.

your eyes widened ever so slightly at her revelation but what shocked you more was that choso had seemingly heard what your mother had said. he was still sleeping when your mother had called you, so you hid in the kitchen to talk, not wanting to disturb his sleep. he stood in the doorway, blinking at you confused. you made sure to turn a little so your mother couldn’t see him. “mum, i told you i’m not really interested yet and want to go at my own pace-��

“honey, i know but the opportunity was just there. i couldn’t pass it up and you can still reject him, no? just try to meet him at least once.”

you sighed. “we’ll talk about it again when i’m home, okay? but don’t put too much hope in it, please.”

“i know, i know. i’ll talk to you again another day. love you, sweetheart,” your mum said goodbye to you and hung up. you groaned, tossing your phone to the side and buried your face in your hands. choso was not supposed to hear any of that. even though you two weren’t really in a relationship, and he had assured you that he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else, keeping his work at accompanying clients only, you still felt like you were somewhat betraying him. you felt choso’s presence moving behind you, then his arms wrapping around you, his chin being placed on your head. you couldn’t see the slightly irritated look in his eyes, the jealous glint that told you he didn’t want you to look at anyone but him.

“your mum seems to be eager to find you a partner,” he commented amused. you groaned, swatting at his arm.

“i don’t know why they’re suddenly so persistent after not deeming anyone as suitable for years,” grumbling, you turned slightly, pressing a kiss to choso’s chin. “i’m not really in the mood to go on dates just yet, so she’ll have to deal with it.”

“not in the mood for dates?” choso echoed, pinching your cheek. “not even with me?”

you whined, burying your face in his chest. you didn’t want to let him see how his words excited you. “no, i’m always in the mood for you, for dates with you.”

“that’s good to know. we’re going out later after all,” choso laughed, combing his fingers through your hair. “i did promise to take you to the beach and teach you how to surf.”

one of the reasons you didn’t come visit your parents immediately when your summer break began was because you’d already planned a short trip with choso. weeks ago choso had proposed you’d go to the beach together and you were thrilled by the idea, not having been by the sea in years. you’d rented a little cabin by the beach for the two of you while choso had prepared everything for the car ride. the car ride would be rather long but you weren’t worried about it at all - in the beginning, you’d been apprehensive, rather awkward with him. he eased you into everything, showing you not to be scared of relationships and to just be yourself. conversation was easy with him as if you’d been long term friends, with no worries or restrictions. for weeks, you’d looked forward to the trip, to spend more time with him.

the car ride was filled with laughter and calming music, you shared stories and secrets with each other, you fed him the snacks that you’d made the night before. you felt blissful, happily ignoring all the consequences that might be coming your way - you wanted to enjoy your time with him as much as you could. the dance that the two of you were engaging in, it was romantic and felt so domestic, while skirting around the important issue. inspecting your intertwined hands, you clasped your other free hand around his, rubbing the skin gently. choso shot you a concerned, questioning look but you brushed him off, assuring that nothing was wrong. “i’m just happy to be sharing this uh… boyfriend experience with you, really. i wouldn’t wanna do it with someone else.”

choso shot you a wistful smile, lifting your hand to press a kiss on it. “i’m glad you feel that way. you deserve only the best, someone who treats you like the princess that you are.”

the feeling of the grainy sand below you, wind blowing your hair in every direction, sun on your skin, water splashing against your shins - you felt like suddenly all your worries were washed away. you were still running through the shallow water, giggling as you saw choso catching up on you. upping your speed, you jumped through the water until he managed to grab you by your wrist, pulling you into his chest. he lifted you up, twirling you around in his arms a few times before setting you back on your feet, leaning in to kiss you. “you can’t just run away like that, all our stuff is still stranded over there,” he scolded you, playfully flicking your forehead. you glanced behind you, seeing how choso had already placed all the towels, cooler and bags on the beach chairs.

“it’s okay, we have the beach to ourselves anyways,” you retorted cheekily. choso couldn’t argue, instead rolled his eyes. the beach house that you had rented for the weekend was on the outskirts of the city, a rather quiet spot that also had a private beach. the paranoia that your parents might possibly spot you somewhere was running deep and so you didn’t want to risk anything. choso could teach you how to surf in peace, without any bystanders or crowded spaces. but now that you were sitting on the beach chair, you noticed that choso’s mind seemed to be elsewhere as he clumsily fumbled with the bags. you gnawed at your bottom lip, hoping that your earlier conversation with your mother wasn’t on his mind.

“you okay there? can i help you with anything?”

“huh? yeah,” choso answered after a second of processing, shaking his head. “uh i just get distracted looking at you. you look good in that bikini.”

“oh shut up,” you retorted but hid your face from him, still growing bashful even though you were used to him complimenting you out of nowhere. he shot you a wink, resuming his work. “but… choso, you can talk to me if anything bothers you, you know that?”

“yeah, i know… but don’t worry, i think this is something i have to figure out for myself first before i tell anyone,” he padded over, kissing your forehead. “but i appreciate it.”

deciding to drop the topic, you joined him, watching how he demonstrated his surfing skills. if he didn’t want to talk about it, you would respect it; and maybe, just maybe, he would open up to you about it. you watched as choso surfed through the waves, the sight filling you with bright happiness. he looked so happy to be surfing again, the usual tired look on his face wiped away as if it had never been there in the first place. he looked like he was truly at home, comforted and surrounded by the crashing waves. you understood what he meant by being distracted - choso looked good in his trunks as well, the water drops that were rolling down his body, his exposed upper body, the way his loose, slightly damp hair was falling over his face. you very much enjoyed the sight and almost felt creepy for staring so much.

as per usual, choso was a wonderful teacher, remaining calm and patient while he gave you instructions, comforting you when you weren’t doing so well and was always right by your side encouraging you. you hadn’t had this much fun in a while, especially not with someone other than from your close friend circle. it was easy to lose the track of time when being with him, all your thoughts and anxieties washed away like the seashells at the shore. by the end of the day, you were utterly exhausted, your muscles feeling like jelly. as you laid on the bed, you still felt like you were rocked and swayed back and forth by the waves. it was relaxing, almost lulling you into a deep slumber if it wasn’t for the sound of the running shower and choso’s humming. you opened the window, before returning to bed, wrapping the blanket around you. the sound of waves sloshing against the shore echoed through the room, making you feel like you were actually sleeping at the beach.

it didn’t take long for choso to return; you felt the bed dip beside you before you heard him. pretending to be asleep, you waited until he said anything but were instead greeted with a kiss on your nape. you squirmed a little, the feelings of his lips tickling the sensitive skin. a giggle broke from your lips, unable to stay silent any longer. “did i make you wait for too long?” he asked quietly, grabbing you by the hips to turn you around to face him. you shook your head and gave him a smile, leaning in to peck his lips. “no but i did miss you. did i tell you that i now get what you meant by being distracted? you looked really hot in your trunks and so serious while giving me instructions.”

“ah, really?” choso hovered over you, placing his hands beside your head. you’d only offered simple compliments but he was already so fired up, making you grin. “you can’t just tell me that and expect me not to do anything. don’t you know that i’m always hungry for you? i’ll ravish you right here.”

“what if i want you to ravish me?” you bravely retorted, your voice slightly cracking at the end. rarely were you ever bold with him but at this moment, you might as well indulge him. as an reward for teaching you how to surf and being so patient about it. choso clicked with his tongue, pleased with your reply. before he could move, you suddenly felt an urge to go further, wanting to be the one to initiate intercourse for once. you placed your hands on his chest, pushing gently. he looked at you confused, cocking his head to the side. if it wasn’t for the hungry look in his eyes, you would’ve cooed at how adorable he looked. “uhm can i… suck you off for today? i mean you’re always the one who- who makes me feel so good and i know you said you liked it but i just wanted to return the favour…”

choso short circuited at your request, momentarily leaving his mouth wide open as he stared at you. “y- yeah of course, if that’s what you want,” he spluttered hastily, sitting up on his knees. feeling giddy, you shuffled off the bed, positioning yourself at the edge of the bed and waiting for him to move. choso gulped, slowly moving towards the edge. he leaned down to kiss you, your hands snaked towards the waistband of his sweatpants, some doubt overcame you again, slowing your movements. sensing your hesitation, he patted your head and ruffled your hair. “you don’t have to do it, if you feel too nervous about it.”

“no, i want to, really,” you assured him, grasping the waistband and dragging it down. choso lifted his hips slightly, helping you remove his pants. his boxers followed soon after. gently, you wrapped your hands around his semi-hard cock, giving it some gentle strokes. choso exhaled shakily, leaning back on his hands as he kept his watchful eyes on you. you leaned in, flattening your tongue against the underside, running your tongue over the underside, tracing it until you reached the cockhead. gingerly, you gave it a few kitten licks before wrapping your lips around it. hands still stroking him, you delved in, taking as much as much as you could. choso tilted his head back, moaning loudly. it spurred you on, eagerly you bopped your head against him, paying close attention to the sensitive head as you licked and sucked at it. curiously, you licked the slit, tasting the precum on it. the taste was unfamiliar, nothing like you’d ever had before but you weren’t sure what to make of it. but you weren’t grossed out by it, thankfully.

choso’s hips jerked when you touched a particularly sensitive spot, not being able to control his own body anymore. usually, he was more composed, holding himself back for the sake of you - immediately, he stopped and apologized, staring at you with wide eyes. “fuck, i’m so sorry, that wasn’t meant to happen. did i hurt you?” he cupped your cheek, guiltily examining you.

“‘m okay, don’t worry about it. it just surprised me a little, that’s all. but if it’s what you like… i uh, don’t mind,” you reassured him.

“f- fuck, you can’t just say that because i will and-”

“like i said, i don’t mind. i want to make you feel good too.” reluctantly, choso nodded and relaxed again, letting you proceed. you were eager to make him cum, enthusiastically moving your head along the shaft. you welcomed choso’s shallow thrusts, glancing up to watch his reactions. his skin was beautifully flushed, eyes were closed, groans muffled as he bit his bottom lip. you struggled to take his cock in deeper, instead wrapping your hands around the parts you couldn’t reach. when choso’s thrusts got sloppier, you could tell that he was getting close.

“y/n, fuck- i’m gonna- wait, you-” unable to finish his sentence, he moaned, hips stuttering again as you swirled your tongue around the sensitive tip. you suckled on his length eagerly, hands pumping the base faster and choso couldn’t keep it in any longer, coming with a loud moan. you continued suckling on the tip, helping him through his orgasm until he’s spilled all of him in your mouth. sitting back on your knees, you removed yourself from him.

eyes wide and glossy, you looked up at him as he pulled away slightly so he could look at you. choso brushed your hair back, then lifted your chin up, tapping your bottom lip. "show me," he said in a low, hoarse voice, patiently waiting until you opened your mouth and showed him. showed him his cum that was still pooling on your tongue. a few seconds passed until he finally reacted - just the sight of you on your knees, obediently following his orders and showing him your work had his insides stirring with something dark, possessive. "swallow," he whispered, adoringly cupping your cheek as you eagerly swallowed. your face felt hot, whether by embarrassment or pride, you didn't know. quietly cursing, he pulled you up while leaning down, meeting your lips halfway.

unceremoniously, choso dropped you on the bed, making you giggle quietly as you bounced on the mattress. hovering over you, he captured your lips in yet another kiss. you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him to your body. choso pressed his groin against yours, experimentally rolling his hips to elicit a reaction from you. burying your face into the crook of his neck, you couldn’t help but writhe from the pleasure - and even though you’ve been sleeping with each other, you still felt too shy to ask him for… more. how could you express what exactly you wanted when you were craving all of him? when you wanted to engrave everything into your brain; the feeling of his body against yours, his touch, the sweet as well as the dirty words he whispered into your ear. it was almost unfair how easily he could draw a reaction from you, as if he’d memorized every little aspect about you already.

choso nipped at your neck, about to leave a mark when you frantically pushed at his chest. “no visible marks, i told you!” you reminded him, almost feeling bad when you saw his disappointed face. but rules were rules, you didn’t want your parents to find out you were sneaking around with someone; you were barely able to look into their eyes as is. he huffed against your neck, burying his face in the crook of your neck in frustration. seconds passed without a reaction before he finally sat up on his knees, hands reaching out to tug on your shirt. “but everywhere else is fine, hm?” he mused, dragging his warm hands across your chest to your shoulder to push the fabric off.

“i- i guess,” you spluttered, barely having any time to react as he’s already moved on, lavishing your breasts with kisses while leaving a trail of hickeys on them. you whimpered, hips rolling up against his. through your panties, you could feel the outlines of his cock; the anticipation of him filling you up made you salivate. choso was quick to remove your panties and rolling a condom on upon hearing your desperate whimpers that were urging him to move faster. no matter how many times you’d already slept together, he could never get enough of you - you made him feel like a teenager again, like he was constantly insatiable and hungry for you. judging from the look in your eyes, you seemed to feel the same way.

choso angled his cock against your entrance before sinking in, moaning in unison with you. he grasped your hands, pinning them against the pillows as you reached out, trying to touch him. you sobbed in disappointment, just wanting to feel him but choso was having none of it. the complaint was quickly forgotten when he started thrusting, the sound of his hips smacking against yours filling the room. he was diligent, hitting that spot inside you over and over again, enjoying how your legs that were wrapped around his waist were trembling. you were drowning, drowning in him, in the pleasure he so graciously provided you. choso painted your chest with marks, placing them dangerously close to where they would be peeking out underneath clothes. he knew you didn’t want anyone to see them but fuck, he wanted people to keep their hands away from you, wanted them to know that you were his.

you sung his praises, hips quickly bucking against his as he buries himself in you to the hilt. he filled you up so well, always dragging against your walls so deliciously. almost feral, choso fucked you harder, putting all his frustrations and emotions into the strength of his thrusts. it left you feeling breathless, clenching around him hard as you climbed higher and higher. never had choso fucked you like this before, like he was trying to prove something - you sobbed, tears springing forth from the intensity. it felt good, so good and you wanted to cum so bad, wanted to release. the pleasant warmth was spreading throughout your body, almost unbearably hot as you neared your climax. it erupted within you explosively, leaving you writhing in a babbling, incoherent mess. for many moments, your orgasm wrecked through you, making you see white and stars. in your euphoria, you didn’t notice how choso had cummed with you, whispering sweet praises in your ear as he rode you through your high. you didn’t notice how he disappeared, returning with a wet towel as per usual, how he kisses away the tears at the corner of your eyes. through your hazy mind, you could tell that he wrapped the blanket around you before disappearing again.

it took you a while to return back to your senses, marvelling about the sex you just had. what had possessed choso in that moment? could it be because you’d offered to suck him off? or was he so pent up the entire day? the click of the door made you lift your head towards the source of the sound, cooing when you saw choso padding towards you. he yawned quietly, crawling under the blanket and wrapping his arms around you. "exhausted?" you questioned him, nuzzling into him.

"mhmm, i feel like i could sleep in until noon tomorrow," as usual, he ran his fingers along your spine, drawing shapes on your back. sometimes you thought you could feel him spelling something out on your skin but the touches were always so fleeting that it was impossible for you to make it out. whatever it was, he must've been too wary or scared to share it with you. you were reminded of your earlier conversation - choso still hadn't said anything so you wanted to bring it up, not wanting any issues to arise between you.

"choso? do you want to talk about what was wrong earlier? i know you said you wanted to think about it, but i was wondering…"

choso interrupted you. "are you going to go on a date with the guy that your mum mentioned this morning?"

you shot him a bewildered look. so he had been thinking about it. you hesitated, not sure what to tell him. should you be upfront and tell him how you feel? or give him a mild version, so he didn't feel cornered by you?

"i'm… i'm not sure yet. the thought of going on a date with someone else is kind of daunting but i think i'll do it just so my mum's happy."

"i see." uncomfortable silence seeped between the two of you. you could tell that choso was irritated, the frown on his face clearly indicating it. and yet, he didn't elaborate, leaving you to figure out what he meant by that. not daring to move, you stayed still, waiting for him to continue. choso sighed, placing his forehead against yours. "i think this is selfish of me but i can't stand the thought of seeing you with someone else. i wish… i wish it was only me that you looked at."

"you don't want me to go on a date with him?"

"yeah. i- i can't tell you why that is. it's selfish and dumb, hence why i didn't want to tell you. and it's not something that you should worry about. i'm just your escort after all, there's nothing more between us."

his words stung. even though it was the truth, the words still stung, driving a knife right into your heart. it was the very thing that nobara and maki had warned you about. but here you were, heart breaking in a million pieces. perhaps it was the fact that choso didn't tell you the reason, didn't seem to trust you with it, that made you recoil immediately. the walls around your heart were immediately put back into place, safeguarding you from any further harm. he wasn’t obligated to tell you anything and you knew that - there was probably also another reason why he felt that way. any further digging would probably make him recoil as well, it wouldn’t do you any good. whatever was growing between you, it had to stop now. choso simply saw you as a client, probably had been this entire time. again, you were reminded of the fact that he might have been acting this entire time, none of the affection he showed you ever being real.

“i- yeah… i guess,” you replied dejectedly, looking away from him. “i’ll figure it out with him, don’t worry. i’ll just keep my mum happy with it, there’s nothing more to it.”

choso bit his lip, refraining from replying to it any further. you already knew more than you were ever supposed to, he should have never let it slip that he didn’t like seeing you with other potential love interests. it pained him to keep this hidden, keep it a secret from you - but the less you knew, the better. he couldn’t imagine you being okay with being in a relationship with him while he was still an escort, nor did he think that your parents would be thrilled about it. from what you’d revealed to him, he could tell that they treasured you and wanted to minimize any possible harm as much as possible. and that included hand-picking a suitable partner for you. he might never be what your parents envisioned for you and he might never become your love interest so every session that you booked was a blessing to him.

sighing, he placed one last kiss on your cheek before wishing you a good night. but even when he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, he was wide awake, not being able to stop the onslaught of thoughts.

weeks passed without you ever contacting choso again. your resolve would have never been this strong, hadn’t nobara intervened. while you were moping and still feeling restless, helpless even, she made sure to delete his number and made you take care of the bills before cutting off contact entirely. normally, she would have commented on it - but seeing how you were struggling through your first heartbreak, she decided to let it be. and because maki wouldn’t have hesitated to have her head if you’d ever snitched. maki had encouraged you to take your mind off things, dragging you along to some of the sports classes she attended. it did lift your mood ever so slightly, much to your surprise, it was more fun that you’d originally anticipated. maki attended so many different classes that seemed so intense that you were scared to join at first. in between the classes, you spent more time with your friends. gradually you opened up to them, explaining them the entire issue with choso and how you had struggled to let go. you told them one by one, until it was finally time to let megumi know.

out of everyone, megumi scared you the most - not because he was intimidating or violent but because you knew how he would react. he’d most definitely be upset about it because he was protective over his friends, not wanting them to be harmed in any way. you’d pleaded that at least nobara should tag along to knock some sense into him, should he snap - but megumi’s reaction surprised you. when you finished your story, he was awfully quiet. you assumed he was boiling in anger, reaching out to appease him but he was frowning, making a contemplative face. “uh listen, i think that choso’s yuuji’s brother.”

“he’s what?” nobara’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. megumi had recently started going out with someone that he’d met during work and though he hadn’t introduced you to said person yet, you did know that his name was yuuji.

“yuuji’s brother. i haven’t met him yet but he’s been complaining about his brother for weeks now,” megumi explained, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “choso’s an escort, right? it has to be yuuji’s brother. i’ve stayed over at yuuji’s place a couple of times… yuuji was venting, asking me about advice on how to get his brother out of a rut. apparently, choso’s been affected by this uh… somewhat breakup as well. yuuji’s suggested to him that he should reach out to you to talk but he said something about his work and your parents...”

“huh. what an interesting coincidence…” nobara mumbled but narrowed her eyes at you. “but you’re not going back to him, right?”

all the blood in your body froze. why had choso brought up your parents? they had never been a part of your relationship, you had only told him how overprotective they were and how they liked choosing your partners and friends for you. could it be?

“no, i don’t think so. i’m… very conflicted about our feelings to each other. it was stupid to give into my feelings for him in the first place. i hired someone to act as my fake boyfriend, someone who does this for a living. i think they know better than to catch feelings for their clients,” you sighed frustrated, shaking your head. there was no way in hell this situation could ever turn back around, even if you now knew that choso had also been affected. and still, he never reached out to me, you thought bitterly.

“i think you should talk it out though, if he does reach out to you,” megumi chimed in, awkwardly patting your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. “from what yuuji’s told me, it does seem like his feelings are genuine. he didn’t outright push you away, right? who knows what could happen?”

in the end, you couldn’t help but confess to your parents. secrets were bound to be revealed one way or another and you figured it was better you opened up before they found out from someone else. the uncomfortable silence that spread through your apartment created a gloomy atmosphere; the tension was thick and palpable, making you shuffle in your seat in unease. your father hadn’t uttered any word while your mother had completely lost it, not understanding why you hadn’t instead chosen one of the boys she’d always introduced you to.

“all this time you were seeing this boy? and not once did you let us know. i could have asked my friend if they knew someone, their sons are so nice-”

“mum, i already told you i wanted to find someone on my own without having my options being presented to me on a silver plate. and you’re always so disappointed when i end up rejecting them after going through all of the hassle,” you interrupted her, giving her a defiant look. it wasn’t often that you opposed your parents like this but you felt like it was needed - your mother didn’t understand you, nor did she try. you were an adult, for fuck’s sake. you were very much capable of making your own decisions and mistakes to learn from.

“and yet you went to hire an escort! why didn’t you go and meet some of your classmates? i don’t understand why you went such lengths and then even ended up falling in love with them! how would you even pursue a relationship with them?” your mother seethed at you, knuckles blanching from how hard she was gripping her handbag. your father placed a hand on hers, whispering some soothing words in her ear.

“darling, i think y/n knows well that she’s made a mistake and is hurting from it. we don’t need to add to the stress, do we?” he assured her, then looking at you. “y/n, you know that i’m disappointed in you as well. but i don’t blame you for it, i think it’s partly my fault that you felt the need to hire an escort just to… gain some experience. i did take away all your possibilities of a relationship after all…”

“don’t encourage her! this problem won’t just be solved by you spoiling her again, do you know what kind of consequences it could h-”

a loud knock interrupted your mother’s rambling. you were confused - you didn’t expect anyone else for today. it was too late for someone to bring packages. who could it be? you excused yourself, padding towards the door to see who it was. you swore that you briefly suffered from a heart attack when the door swung open to reveal choso. he stared at you equally as stunned, seemingly not having expected you to open and greet him. “w- what are you doing here?” you asked, hating how shaky your voice sounded. how your heart soared, having missed his presence around you. the feelings had never been properly buried, only hidden by a thin layer of pretense that was now quickly being washed away.

“i’m sorry for just turning up unannounced… i was hoping- hoping to be able to talk to you for a bit? i wanted to explain myself,” choso replied, unaware of the two persons in your apartment that were straining their necks to be able to get a look at him.

you groaned. why now? the timing was just too comical, fate must really hate you. “i’m sorry, my parents are here right now. maybe, another t-”

“aha, so this is the boy my daughter has been sleeping with,” your mother appeared behind you, snarling at choso maliciously. panicking, your father had followed her quickly, holding her back by her arm. “you have some nerve appearing here as if nothing happened, what is it that you-”

“darling.” your father cleared his voice, shooting daggers at her. “there’s no need to be rude.”

swiftly, he introduced himself and your mother to choso, politely shaking his hand. choso remained calm, as usual, and introduced himself as well. if he was shocked by the entire ordeal, he sure didn’t show it. his face remained a perfect poker face, no emotions seeping through. “i wanted to talk to your daughter, ma’am. i assume she’s told you about our relationship and how we broke apart. there is no ulterior motive here, i just wanted to explain myself and talk it out.”

“that’s-!”

your father interrupted your mother again, not giving her another opportunity to spit venom at choso. “i think that is a good idea. though she has not opened up about everything, i can tell that she is hurting as much as you are. i believe a discussion would be very productive. but what is your intention? what are you going to do once you’ve explained yourself?”

suddenly, you felt like you were forgotten or invisible in the entire discussion. were they ignoring you? you were standing right there and yet no one was addressing you. you huffed, trying to pull their focus back on you. “nothing’s gonna happen, dad. there was nothing for us to work with and there won’t be.”

choso felt like he’d been slapped. he didn’t know what to make of your reaction but he came here for one reason only: to give you the closure that you deserved and he wasn’t going to leave until he accomplished just that. “i intend to apologize to her. judging from your wife’s reaction, you don’t seem to like me very much. i can’t imagine you would ever accept me, i know i don’t live up to your standards. i don’t deserve your daughter, she deserves so much more than what i can offer. and i’m aware of it. but if she’s willing to have me, i’ll try my very best to live up to your standards, to prove myself to you. i just want to be with her and make her happy. i’m in love with her and that’s what i intended to tell her.”

your heart stopped at his confession. all this time, choso loved you? megumi had been right all along. choso returned your feelings and he was here, so close and yet so far. dread filled you as you realized your parents could possibly drive him away, make him disappear from your life with just a snap of their fingers. you cherished choso more than you were aware of, the adoration running deep in your veins even when you were trying to reject him.

“i see. that’s reason enough for me. we’ve already let her have a piece of our mind, i don’t think she needs more telling off. my little girl has grown so much and it’s time to let her make her own decisions, growing and mistakes,” your father shot your mother a look. she’d calmed down, choso’s explanation seemingly having brought her back to her senses. she looked away, not wanting to look him in the eyes. “we’ll let you deal with this. but know that if she does take you back, i won’t go easy on you, alright? the bars are high and i don’t intend to lower them just because you love her. prove to me, that you’re worthy of her.”

“i will,” choso sounded so sure and confident that it made your father grin - you sure had found someone who took great care of you and wasn’t afraid to stand tall in front of your father. and that he liked, someone who wasn’t scared to back down from a challenge, someone who would be the perfect partner for you. as your parents said goodbye and left, he gave choso a pat on the shoulder before exiting the apartment, leaving the two of you to your own devices.

you didn’t know what to say, how to start. standing in the hallway was awkward but you couldn’t move just yet, instead wanting to hear what he had to say first. “you love me?” you croaked, your voice failing you. now that your parents were gone, you could freely show your emotions, not being able to hold the tears back any longer. choso panicked, fussing over you as you started to cry. furiously, you wiped the tears away with the sleeves of your sweater.

“i do. i uhm wish i had found a better way to tell you this. i figured that you probably thought that everything we did was simply a facade but i promise you that it was all real. i don’t know when exactly but i started falling for you along the way and it was hard… to remind myself that you were a client and i was just there to provide the service to you, you know? i had no right to get mad at you if you decided to go and see other people. and i wasn’t sure of your feelings for me, it was…” choso trailed off, struggling to find the right word but you knew what he meant and nodded, signaling him to continue. “i just didn’t want to tie you to me when you… when you might not like me back or even want to be with an escort.”

you sniffled quietly, wrapping your arms around him immediately, with such a speed that it almost knocked the air out of his lungs. confused, choso wrapped his arms around you, tucking your head under his chin and rubbing your back soothingly. he was relieved that you didn’t push him away at least and let him explain everything in one go. he felt more at ease now and was at peace with the decision to immediately leave and never butt in your life again in case you rejected him.

“all this time, i also loved you,” you mumbled, an upset frown on your face. “i- i just kept thinking that you’d never return my feelings and that you were just playing boyfriend because i hired you to do so and-”

you hiccuped, another sob tearing from your throat.

“when you told me not to go on that date and immediately followed it with you only being my escort and nothing more, it hurt me so much and i know it was stupid and childish of me to react in such a way but… i was just spiraling, i love you so much and didn’t know where to place the anxieties and negative feelings.”

choso shushed you quietly when your sobs grew more frequent and you let him pick you up, clinging onto him as he walked over to the couch and sat on it with you on his lap. “shh, you’re okay, we’re okay,” he mumbled against the crown of your head, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i’m sorry i hurt you so much, i was not aware that you already liked me back then and that my words would have such an effect on you.”

over and over, choso apologized quietly until you calmed down, slumping against his chest. you stayed silent, trying to piece your thoughts and feelings back together so as to present him with a coherent and logical question. your mind was in shambles and you hoped that choso would at least get what you were hinting at. “so w- what do we do now? where do we- we go from here?”

“as i’ve already told your dad… if you’ll have me, i’ll make it up to you, all the hurt that i’ve caused you. i love you, so much. i want to be your boyfriend, and this time officially.”

“i like the sound of it,” you mumbled, tilting your head back to look at him. “will you be my boyfriend?”

“it would be an honour, princess.”

with a kiss, choso sealed the deal, easily catapulting you back on cloud nine. who would have thought that the escort you’d hired to be your fake boyfriend would turn out to be the prince charming you had always hoped for, surpassing even your wildest dreams and expectations. choso was everything you wanted and more - he was the person you wanted to wake up to every morning, the person you wanted to come home to. he was the person with whom you wanted to spend your life with, the person that loved you so unconditionally and never expected anything in return. you were lucky that he chose you, that he loved you back. out of all the persons in the universe, it was him.

he was perfect and he was yours.

p.s.: if you've made it until the end: thank you so much for reading!

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protectgeorgeweasley · 2 years

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Drafting Update

The chapter is still in the works.

I thought I should probably share a bit more information to explain what's gone wrong with my writing pacing this holiday season.

Without going too into detail, there's been some stuff with family, and in between being there for my own band of "Weasleys," I've been dedicating an awful lot of time for writing. Which I love. But, which I also haven't had a proper break to breathe from in over a month.

Completing most of Mollywobbles was a significant feat, and when I was through, I felt a bit like I'd run a marathon. Happy. Exhausted. Really exhausted. Dazed.

I know myself, and I knew at that point that I really ought to take a break. But I wanted to get the next Lumos chapter out because I know that people have been waiting to see what happens with Bill, and it'd been far longer than intended with all the connectivity trouble and unexpected roadblocks that accompany life.

So, I did a dumb thing.

I ignored that little instinct, and told myself that I could scrape through the next chapter.

"It will practically write itself," I thought.

No.

Chapters do not, in fact, write themselves. They never have. Even when I so thoroughly lose myself in them that I forget my own name.

The content in this chapter is complicated, too. [No spoilers, but there are many lego pieces that I'm sorting.]

I've planned these story developments for ages, but I've found that physically writing them has been far harder this time because I'm just...tired. I still adore the writing process, but it's taking me longer. Words seem more plastic and lifeless.

Have you ever felt like you've used every word in the English lexicon, and also a good number of made up ones, in every possible combination? I'm combing through my thesauruses, doing my word hunts, watching the way everyone moves and walks in the world around me like some sort of people scientist, but--well--

I'm tired.

I am aching for a week straight where I don't look at the computer, and just soak in the holiday time. I am frustrated that the creative process is dragging so long. I'm bemused at my own, predictable reaction to an obvious set of parameters. Overwork yourself, and you will get tired. Obviously.

I do not often talk at length about the emotional labor of writing, and that's because 1.) Lumos is intended to be a place of escape, and I never, ever want people to feel poorly about the workload I distribute to myself. I am a grown adult, and I make my own decisions on that. I started writing Lumos because I needed it. I share it because maybe sometimes other people find it comforting, too. 2.) Emotional labor is a loaded term that sometimes implies unequally distributed work. But sometimes work is lovely. Sometimes work leaves you with a satisfied, exhausted glow in your chest because you've tried hard and done something and loved it. 3.) I'm incredibly shy and socially anxious.

Some people will read this and say, "You should take a break now, then." But Treesap-brain doesn't quite work that way, and a break before I meet my goal will not sit comfortably. It will not be a break, truly.

But I wanted to explain that this is why things have slowed down this month. There's a definitive reason, and I'm doing my best to work in harmony with it. I will also be quite careful to assign myself some intentional, restorative rest time after this chapter.

TLDR: For now, know that the next chapter is on its way--later than planned, but still happening. I'm drafting the last third of it now, and then we only have editing left.

#Lumos #lumosfic

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markaleb · 2 years

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My experiences with top surgery

I'm not totally sure where to start with this, but I've been thinking about writing about my experiences with top surgery for a little while now. More under the cut because of length.

Warning, I will be talking in some detail about post-surgery stuff that'll be gross.

I had top surgery on the 18th of October, and am still in recovery from that.

It's been an experience, I tell ya what.

Completely honestly, I've been a bit worried about my reactions to it, mostly because everything I read from other people who have had top surgery is basically them being ecstatic and in love with the results immediately, whereas I just... don't feel that. Not yet anyway.

DISCLAIMER, I do NOT regret having top surgery, but I do have some complex emotions about it.

There were some complications getting the surgery to happen at all. I got the phone call consolation which went well, and then a date for the surgery itself. I remember being ecstatic about that and didn't know how to process just how excited I was.

The complications came about arranging GETTING to the hospital, as it required a long car drive, a ferry ride, hotel accommodations, and a negative covid test. The covid test was the biggest issue, as no one locally would give a test to someone without symptoms. To get that test, I'd have to go to the other end of the island and pay $250 on top of gas and whatever else for the trip. Funds were already tight, and we'd just barely managed to save up enough for the hotel, gas, and the ferry. Trying to work in how to go to the other end of the island and fork out half of one of my paychecks for the covid test was more than a little stressful.

There were times when I thought we'd have to postpone because of financial difficulty. Leading up to the surgery, I was having a lot of anxiety and mixed emotions. Some of the time I would be super excited and couldn't wait for the surgery date to come. Other times I'd be gripped with anxiety and wonder if I was rushing into this. Doesn't help that being autistic, I don't do well with change and without fail, get anxiety going nuts whenever a big change is coming, whether it's good or bad.

What really made me certain that I was ready for the surgery was whenever I'd think about the worst case scenario of postponing, I'd get incredibly depressed. That depression at possibly having to wait even longer for top surgery was stronger than the anxiety, so I took that as a sign that this was definitely something I was sure about wanting.

We got things sorted with the covid test. Kiddo brought home a cold and gave it to the rest of us, so I did have possible covid symptoms and was able to get a test done locally. Timing lol.

Anyway, we got to our motel, and surgery day came. I was still anxious as fuck, but the staff there were all super friendly and understanding. My surgeon was very kind throughout the morning while I waited, as well as after once I woke up from anesthetic. Everyone was awesome about answering any questions I had and helping calm my anxiety.

I don't remember too much about post surgery. Mostly that they told me they were going to give me something to calm my nerves through my IV, and then bam. In the recovery room trying to wake up. Everything went well. There were no complications at all, and despite being sore, I felt pretty good! No nausea, so as soon as kamorth and I got back to the hotel, she ordered some food and I took it easy the rest of the day.

I didn't know what to feel really. I couldn't look at my chest yet because of all the dressings, but I was riding a high from the fact that the surgery was done. Honestly, even though I knew the boobs were gone, part of my mind kept expecting them to pop out again once I had my first dressing change and got to actually see my chest.

My emotions were kind of all over the place that first week. Mostly I was sore and tired, wanted to sleep a lot, and I was trying to process that this had actually happened. I can say that for that first week I was pretty happy.

I had my first dressing change and it was... interesting. I didn't have the money to stay in a motel for a full week, so I had my dressing change with my local family doctor, who was very good about the whole thing. It's still very new to me to go shirtless around anyone, but I was comfortable with him.

To begin with I handled it well. The binder came off, and the bulk of the dressings came off as well. I'm very thankful that the surgeon I went to doesn't do chest drains. I don't know if I would have been able to handle them personally. Anyway, I did have nipple grafts done, so we had to get to those dressings after the rest were taken off.

I still had mixed emotions at this point and was trying to process that my boobs were actually gone. It was going fine, until the doctor took the dressings off my nipples.

They didn't look at all like the photos I'd seen online about what they should look like one week post surgery. They were completely black, oozing, and the left one looked like it had a sunken bloody crater in the middle. For reference, I'm mixed Caucasian and Japanese, so I have pretty light skin.

I went into full on shock at that point. My vision went funny, my hearing cut out (I could only hear a static ringing in my ears), sweat was running down my back, and if I wasn't already sitting, I think I would have fainted. I did my best not to throw up and focused on breathing long enough for my vision and hearing to come back.

Despite this, the doctor said as far as he could tell everything looked good. He's not an expert on top surgery recovery, but there was no noticeable bruising or swelling, and as far as he could tell, despite my nipples looking horrible, they were attached.

We got new dressings on the nipples and I was able to calm down much better when I couldn't see them. The binder went back on, and I was well enough to go back home.

According to the surgeon's instructions, I need to shower and change the dressings on my nipples once every 2 days. I'm at 3 weeks post surgery, and my nipples are still black and crusty. Not the nice pink color so many other people who have had top surgery get at this stage of recovery. They're basically giant scabs, and one has started coming off on it's own. That gave me a big panic because of how gross it looks, but from everyone I've talked to and all the research I've done, it seems normal.

What no one told me before, is that it can take anywhere from around 2 to 7 weeks (possibly more) for nipple grafts to heal to the point where dressings aren't needed anymore. I got shown all the nice stories about people healing fast and worried that there was something wrong with me when I'm just healing a bit slower.

I'm almost at the point where I don't need the chest binder anymore and I can't wait for that. It's generally been the most painful part of my recovery because of having to have it on 24/7 aside from showers.

Now we're coming to what I think is the important part of my ramblings.

One more week or so, and I can take off the binder for good, though I'll probably still need dressings on my nipples for a bit. I've been able to see my new chest and get a feel for it.

Virtually every other person I've seen go through top surgery is immediately happy and in love with their new chest right away. I'm not there yet. I was wondering if something was wrong with me, or if I made the wrong choice.

I went through some really bad post surgery depression, which can happen with ANY surgery.

Despite these mixed feelings and worries, I did come to a few realizations. One was that even though I was dealing with some massive depression, my feelings of hopelessness and everything else weren't to do with my chest or the surgery. It was stuff I normally get depressed about just feeling 10 times worse, but body dysphoria wasn't part of it nearly as much as it had been before. The dysphoria that was still there was mostly to do with the healing bits look squicky.

I was, and still am feeling some dysphoria, but I think that's mostly because I'm still mid transition, and my chest is a mess of injuries that are still healing. I haven't gotten to see my chest properly yet. It's still healing and needs more time. I don't love my body or my chest yet, but I hate it less than I did before starting to transition.

Each day that goes by, I'm gradually hating my body less and less. And I'm talking about under the clothes. I'm loving the look of having shirts against a flat chest when I go out and about. Under my shirt however, I'm still working on it, but I'm getting there. I may not love my chest yet, but the more I heal, the closer I get.

TLDR: The main point I want to get at is that for anyone who goes through top surgery and doesn't immediately love their new chest, don't stress too much. I think it's important to know that not everyone is the same, and it's ok if it takes time before you love or even like your new chest.

#transgender #transition #ftm #top surgery #warning for some graphic details #my experiences

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

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You added more prompts?! Wow! I'd like prompt 90 with Ronald please. If that's alright? I've never requested him before(if you don't count my request with all the Reapers) so I'm interested how it would turn out?!

I always wanted to write more about Ronald so I’m all up for this.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, manipulation, killing, blood, violence

Prompt 90: “Babe...! Shit! I’m sorry you had to see this, but please believe me! He deserved it! No,no,no, don’t be scared of me. You know I would never harm you.”

You had to have a bad nightmare. Yeah, that must be it. In reality you were right now laying in your bed and just had a bad dream. You just needed to wake up. That was all. You quickly pinched yourself in your arm, hoping to wake up like this. But you didn’t. The only thing you gained from it was a burning pain from where you had pinched yourself, staring almost hypnotized at the red mark that was slowly starting to rose on your skin. A mark that showed you that this wasn’t a dream. No. This was reality. The harsh and painful reality. Something that you didn’t want to accept. He had lied to you. He had lied all this time to you. You should have known that someone like him couldn’t be a human. He had been too nice, too friendly, too charming. Too good to be true. And you had fallen for that. Who wouldn’t have when a young and handsome man had been wooing someone like he had done with you? Ronald had always been there for you, even after you had suddenly somewhat became lonely. You didn’t know why suddenly all contact you used to have had been died out, but you had at least Ronald with you. Ronald had been always there for you. He had been your shoulder to cry on, had always given you enjoyable times and had always tried his hardest to make you laugh. You had sometimes felt like you didn’t deserve him. You had always thought of him as an angel who had appeared in your life to keep you safe.

But with blood soaking his clothes, hair and spectacles you had to overthink this because right now he looked everything, but angelic. He had killed that guy...He had killed that guy! Why? Why had he killed this man?! What had he ever done wrong?! You could only stand there, watch the scene in front of you displaying. How had you even gotten in this position? Why had you been here in the first place? You knew you had a reason and motivation for why you had decided to go that late that night out. But in that moment your mind was too messed up to think of that reason, being busy with sorting the thoughts that were whirling around in your head. You didn’t know what to do, not wanting to watch this anymore, but also not being able to move. You were rooted on the ground, watching Ronald and the still flowing out blood from the man. Ronald didn’t look like he had noticed you so far, just sighing annoyed and letting one of his hands run through his, now blood covered, blond strands of hair. “You’re honestly just a nuisance. Because of you I have to do more paperwork now. But you know what? I’m fine with that. If it means that you won’t be able to put your plan into action I’m willing to endure the pile of paperwork. Everything to protect my sweet (y/n) from scum like you.”

Your breath hitched slightly in your throat, feeling your heart picking it’s pace overwhelmingly fast up. He had killed for you?! No! You didn’t want this! You had never asked him to go that far for you! He could be sent into prison because of this! But then you remembered what you had just seen. You doubted that the police would be able to overpower him and this...tool of his. How could he look so perfectly fine whilst standing above a corpse which he had killed in the first place? He acted so cheerful. No signs of regret or guilt, giving you the terrifying thought that he might have done it a lot of times before. And he looked indeed like he had done it a lot of times before, making you flinch when he suddenly started whistling. How could he?! How could he be like this?! Your emotions were out of your control, you felt like they were bullets which hit you over and over again, making you somewhat dizzy and leading you to having a harder time to breathe. Everything in front of you started to become blurry, but only when you felt something wet trailing down your skin did you realize that it was due to your own tears. The many emotions inside of you caused your head to hurt and your heart to clench. You were angry, confused, heartbroken and sad, felt betrayed and disappointed at the man you had thought to be able to trust the most from all people. But that had been a lie. He was just like everyone else. But that didn’t mean that the knowledge of it still stung. You didn’t even notice when a guttural sound escaped your lips, not being able to hold it back.

It sounded strange, your whine echoing through the dark night, building a contrast to the silence that was crawling in it, making it stand out even more. And Ronald must have heard it as well because he suddenly tensed up, his whole body being alarmed by the sudden noise before quickly snapping his head around, eyes narrowed in suspicions. But the moment he layed eyes on you they widened in shock and surprise. “Babe...! Shit!” You flinched visibly when he called you by the nickname, one of the many he called you, you had used to always love. But now it didn’t cause the butterflies to erupt in your stomach like it used to always have. Instead it caused a sickening tingling somewhere deep down in your core, giving you the feeling of being able to throw up at any minute. The fact that you got a, oh so nice, look on the dead body didn’t make it better, watching all the blood still flowing out of his already dead body and noticing how his eyes had so far rolled back in his eyes that you only saw the white in his eyes. You had never taken Ronald for someone messy, but in this case it looked like he had lost himself a bit. You desperately tried to tear your gaze away from the corpse, but for some reason it stayed frozen on it, not being able to look away. You started trembling, suddenly feeling very cold. But not because of the chilly night air.

“I’m sorry you had to see this, but please believe me! He deserved it!” You didn’t even fully registered his panicked words nor did you register when he quickly stepped towards you. The only thing your brain was able to focus on was the dead man, your thoughts seemingly drowning in the dark red liquid surrounding his body. Your mind repeating the same sentence over and over again, seemingly the only thing you were able to think of right now. “Ronald killed him! Ronald killed him! Ronald killed him! Ronald killed him! Ronald kil-“ You were thrown out of your loop of anxious and shocked thoughts as well as your paralyzed state when you felt Ronald laying one of his hands on your shoulder. And your body responded the only way it would respond in every situation when a killer would touch you. Instantly jerking back and getting into a run-or-fight state. Every muscle in your body was strained, ready to be used to it’s full potential. You felt adrenaline starting to get pumped through your system, giving you a sudden boost of energy. But it also caused a boost in your emotions, letting you feel the fear inside of you even greater. You bit your bottom lip to prevent it from wobbling, but the way you always took a step back when he stepped forwards or just the look with was almost screaming I’m scared” told him only too clearly how you felt. And you instantly noticed the frown on his face upon seeing you being afraid of him.

“No,no,no, don’t be scared of me. You know I would never harm you.” There was a switch in his tone. Before it had been panicked and shocked. But now it had changed. It sounded almost like he was cooing at you, his voice sounding so sweet and charming that it made you feel even more ill than you felt already. It was the same tone he had always used when you had cried over something and he had tried to comfort you. And this tone had normally always been something that had made you fell better, but now it had the complete opposite effect. The scene of him looking all too much like his usual happy self appearing in your head when he had talked to the dead. He was two-faced. Who could tell if he wouldn’t kill you at any moment too? Ronald seemed to read your thoughts from your facial expression, trying his hardest to keep his composure. “(y/n), do you seriously think I would ever hurt you? Haven’t I proved my love to you countless times?” He sounded somewhat disappointed and hurt, making you stop in your tracks and look at him. His friend visibly deepened, twisting in a somewhat painful mask. And to your huge surprise you felt guilt sparking up inside of you, his actions pulling on your heart strings like he had intended too. He wasn’t completely wrong. For as long as you could remember Ronald had only been sweet and doting to you, always helping you with whatever you had needed. You really didn’t want to believe that he would hurt, or even worse, kill you.

But that didn’t help erasing that you had just seen him killing someone in a way no human could, raising two questions inside of you. Why had he killed that man? And what was he? You were still shaking like a leaf, but now you stood frozen on your place, not moving an inch. Not even as Ronald took slow and more cautious steps towards you, not wanting to risk you losing it and sprinting away from him. This situation had been already complicated enough as it was from the moment you had seen everything with your eyes. And if you should run away it would get even more difficult. And in all honesty, he would prefer it if he could have it the more easy way. Ronald wasn’t a person who liked making things more harder to deal with than they could be. So he silently hoped with every step he took closer to you that you wouldn’t have a change of mind in the last second. He only allowed himself to be a bit more relaxed when he stood right in front of you, placing both of his hands on your shoulder and letting a small sigh of relief out. You hadn’t done everything. That meant he hadn’t have to terrify you even more of him than he had already done.

You still didn’t have enough courage to look him into his face, letting your head hang low in an attempt to avoid his eyes. His face was still smeared with blood and having him so close to you caused the smell of blood to invade your sense of sense, making everything spin in your head for a few moments. That was until Ronald moved one of his hands under your chin and forced you to look up, right into his face. Your eyes instantly started darting around, refusing to see the sticky liquid splattered on his face and soaking his hair. That was until you heard him saying in a charming, yet also somewhat strict voice:”Look at me.” And you listened, the sweet tone he was using drawing you in, like it had always done. You knew that face he was giving you too well. The face filled with adoration for you, ready to charm you in whatever way possible to make you just as infatuated with him as he was with you. Back then you had found that cute, but now you realized how dangerous this was. The way he was able to make someone fall so hardly for him was a problem. The way he was gazing over you and causing a mix made of fear, but also warmth bubble up inside of you was dangerous. He was dangerous for you because he had the ability to make you addicted to him. And you knew if you wouldn’t do something now the already tight grip he had on you would only keep getting stronger until you wouldn’t be able to escape. But how could you run away from someone without leaving a part of yourself behind?

So against your own will, or at least part of your own will, you could slightly feel yourself relax after a minute or two in his grip. This made Ronald smile slightly, starting to feel better due to seeing that he still held some power over you. “I have a lot to explain to you, don’t I? Let’s just leave this place before someone sees us. I promise I’ll tell you everything once we get home. Alright?” You didn’t know whether to feel disgusted or not when hearing his gentle voice, luring you to him like he had done all the many times before. And just like in the past it worked this time as well. “O-okay.”

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere ronald #yandere ronald knox

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genevievemd · 3 years

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Can I ask you some questions about Ethan and Genevieve I discovered your page a week ago just finished all the fics I'm interested in your version of the characters

Oph MC is usually seen as flawless and perfect (like every other MC in choices) what are some bad habits or flaws your MC has and we know Ethan's flaws he is one of the few li's who have actual flaws but still I'd like to know your Ethan's flaws which are personal or you have imagined them. (English is not my first language can't explain my request more clearly than this)

Do you see them married with kids in the future ( ik the marriage part you have a fic about it but here is what I specifically want. both of their opinions on this matter before meeting each other and after spending a year or two dating)

Does Ethan have extended family that you have created like a cousin he is very close to or a best friend (if yes can you make a fic where Genevieve meets this best friend or cousin?)

Any hobbies or skills Genevieve has?(like sketching or piano or something idk why Genevieve gives me piano vibes)

Which med school did you have Genevieve go to?

Are they fresh air kind of people or city air kind of

Do they believe in aliens

Opinions on pineapple on pizza

And last but not the least body language ( signs their body gives off when they are anxious, scared, happy and excited)

Ik they are a lot of questions and you probably hate me for making you answer this question air but either way love your work♥️♥️✨💫

Yes! You can always ask me questions and I LOVE these questions. I’m very attached to Gen lol so I’m always willing to talk about her!

Thank you for reading all my things!

And I don’t hate you for all the questions, I answered every single one, under the read more because they got lengthy. lol

First Question:

I definitely don’t see Gen as perfect. I’ve kind of put a lot of myself in her, which I’ve never done with any other MC I’ve played. I kind of see Gen as as a perfectionist, to the point where she gets in her own way. She also, like Ethan, tends to put everyone’s problems on her shoulders and feels responsible for thing that are way out of her control. And though Gen is patient, sometimes too patient, she can hold a grudge. It’s unhealthy and she knows that, but she has a hard time over coming it. Like with Landry, deep down Gen wants to let it go and move on. But there’s a small part of her that will always feel angry and betrayed. Gen’s also not one to put her own needs ahead of others, it’s rare that she’ll ask for what she needs, unless she 100% trusts the person she’s confiding in. (I have a headcanon where her dad cheated on her mom when she was in high school, they didn’t get a divorce, but Gen was the one who discovered the affair and it left a sort of trust/abandonment issue.) She can be rather clingy in a relationship, at first, something Ethan was annoyed with, he’s rather independent I think, but once he understood where that was coming from it didn’t bother him as much. It was just Gen’s way of reassuring herself that Ethan was hers, that he wasn’t going anywhere. Plus her love language is physical touch/affection and spending time together.

As for Ethan, I think he’s a very closed off person, has a hard time trusting people. He absolutely will push someone away, not because he necessarily wants to, but in order to protect himself. For me, I think one of the main reasons why he didn’t dive 100% into a relationship with MC was his fear that he’d lose them. That they would walk out the same way his mother did. I also think he’s way too stubborn and has a hard time admitting when he’s wrong. He won’t be the first to back down in a fight, even if that means it makes him unhappy.

Second Question:

I absolutely see Ethan and Genevieve married with kids. Gen has always wanted to get married, always wanted to be a mother. She’s had a pinterest board since high school thats dedicated to her dream wedding lol. When she found out Ethan wasn’t 100% on board with marriage, she was bummed. But at the same time, she was/is willing to let that go if it meant she could be with him. As long as she has Ethan, she doesn’t need a ring. Gen’s also always believed in soulmates and fate, she knew after their kiss in Miami that Ethan was her soulmate.

As for Ethan, I think deep down he’s always wanted kids but never saw them as an option because he never thought he’d find the right person to settle down with. I think that also ties into his past with his mom. Same with marriage, when he wasn’t in love, it didn’t make sense to him. But once he was, realized he never wanted to lose Gen, he understood it. Once he recognized how much he loves Gen, he wanted everything with her. Marriage, kids, all of it. With MC/Gen he realized he could be the parent he wanted to be.

I have a scene in chapter 3 or 4, I can’t remember which, in Love You Home where Ethan and Gen have the marriage/kids talk.

Third Question:

I think Ethan has an extended family. We don’t know much about his parents, if they are only children or not, but I think either his mom or dad has a sibling or two. They’re definitely not close at all, he probably doesn’t see them. But they exist. Gen’s influence definitely persuades him to reach out, in the same way she influenced him to give his mom a second chance.

As for a best friend? I don’t think he has one, I think Naveen is his closest friend at the moment. But I would love for him to get back in touch with maybe a childhood friend or friends from collage. Maybe even become friends with some fellow attendings at Edenbrook. Again, I think have Gen/MC around has really opened his eyes to different things and realizing how important friendships and relationships really are.

And at some point I may write something for that.

Fourth Question:

I love that you see Gen as a piano person because I also see Gen as a piano person. She doesn’t play much now, lack of access to a piano and too busy with work but she does know how to play. She also speaks a baby bit of french, not enough to be fluent but enough to understand her maternal grandparents (they’re first language is french, so they speak it interchangeably with english). I also think she’s a pretty decent singer, she did choir in middle/high school.

As for hobbies, Gen is super into photography. She’s not the greatest, but she loves it. It ties into her being a super sentimental person, she likes to have tangible memories. She also loves journaling, she definitely has a bullet journal that she does herself. It’s relaxing for her, after a stressful day. And I don’t know if you’d count make up as a hobby, but Gen is super into it. On the daily, she really only wears eyeliner, mascara and a light lipstick, but on her days off she experiments and does more intricate looks. I have a headcanon where Ethan comes home and sees Gen in like a super dark lip with a kickass winged liner, very femme fatale, and he’s shookith.

Fifth Question:

I go back and fourth on what med school Gen went too, I googled top 100 med schools when I started open heart so I could pick a good one for her lmao Its a toss up between University of California or University of Pennsylvania. Gen is from New England, she grew up on the coast of Maine - not too far from Providence actually. So I sometimes think UPenn because Gen would want to be close to her family. But then sometimes I say Cali because she wanted the adventure of going off on her own. At some point I’m going to have to choose obviously but where not there yet lol Still a toss up.

Sixth Question:

Genevieve is absolutely a fresh air girl. She loves the beach and being outdoors. Boston is a bit of a change for her, being a city but it doesn’t take long to find some country air here in New England so she gets both. lol

Seventh Question:

LMAO I love this question. I never thought of this but you know what Gen absolutely believes in aliens. Not in a weird conspiracy kind of way, more in a scientific kind of way. There’s no way Earth is the only planet in the galaxy to have life. The galaxy is freakin huge, scientifically there is no way we’re the only planet with life.

Eighth Question:

Pineapple on pizza is a crime. End of story. No one should ever have pineapple on pizza. No just...no.

Ninth/ Last Question:

I’m going to answer this for each of the things you listed in your question.

Anxious: It’s very easy to see when Gen is feeling this way, at least to Ethan and her friends. She retreats inward and does this like twisting motion with her fingers. Like cracking your knuckles but not actually cracking your knuckles. She’ll also bite the corner of her lip.

Scared: Gen doesn’t scare easy, but when she does she kind of hugs herself, makes herself smaller. Will hide behind things or run away. She’s a flight not a fight when scared. Especially if its like a spider, bug or snake - she’s terrified of those. That’s a freeze or run and scream situation.

Happy: Super easy to tell when Gen is happy. She gets really smiley, a little bouncy. One of those people that does that little happy dance of swaying back and forth.

Excited: Same as happy, big smiles. Jumps around. a little dancing. Lots of giggling.

I’m gonna add one more here, for shipping purposes lol

In Love: Gen is affectionate af, very touchy. She’ll show you how much she loves her way before she ever says it. Ethan realized she was in love with him months before she said it. Just by how much more open she was with physical affection. Always gently touching his arm, or kissing his cheek, always willing to hug him or snuggle in close.

Thank you so so so much for the questions, these were so fun to answer! Feel free to drop in any time. I love Gen and Ethan so much, I will always answer any questions you want to ask me about them.

#asked and answered #ethan x gen #ethan ramsey x mc #genevieve mcclure #open heart #open heart mc #fireycookie

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moonshineboyz · 3 years

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Is everything okay? Well... 👀 I'd like to say yes but not really. *Warning; this is going to get deep so grab some tissues 🤭* I get ever so insecure when I write smuts, it's so absolutely awful that I'm not just able to write something, edit it, post it & be content with it. For most people, that's where it stops. But for me, I do that process then I re-read it over and over again, finding more things wrong as I go over it, I worry that no one is going to like it, I worry it's a bad idea or if it's poorly written. Almost to the point where I beat myself up for it. Well, Im trying to be completely honest so no, not almost, I do. For fluff, it's the easiest thing in the world to write and I'm able to be happy with it, and I can re-read it without cringing (which is rare for me.) Angst is kind of in the middle, sometimes I'm satisfied with it but other times I'm like "This is so bad, there are people out there that are so much better than me, why do I try?" I wished that this wasn't the case but it's exactly how I feel. Smuts.. are horrible for me. I can't go writing one sentence without thinking that I'm useless, worthless, etc. I just have a terrible time trying to write them 🤦‍♀️ Basically, that is my situation right now but don't mind me! It's literally taking all of my beings not to delete myself from this planet but- I'm super lucky to have you 💌

Yes, not at me lowkey wanting to go on another hiatus because I suck at regular posting ✌😙 Taking breaks will probably be the one regular thing for me from now on 😔 I mean, underneath it all, everything is fine it's just my insecurities getting the best worst of me 🙃 Thank you, that does mean a lot I hope you know ☺ I love you too 🥰 You are the best & the sweetest! 100% just talked your ears off lmao

Okay, maybe another one...🤫👀 yes okay Nope! Not the moonbae one, I highkey forgot about that LOL- I totally did not just go & count BUT, I have 9 tbz smuts (including the three Im talking about) So, since you want to know 😏, the plot is like a movie night marathon with the boyz and it's a horror movie the first night & you find (the member) super handsome even tho he's just wearing a sweater and sweatpants and you basically secretly fuck(under a blanket) but you guys get caught at the end 🤐 so since I'm not outright telling you the member I'll happily give you hints!

1. He is a dancer (part of the dance line obviously)

2. It's not Juyeon LMAO

3. I haven't written about him yet 🤣

- Love, Kate

first of all, i'm so sorry i took so long to answer 😅

okay so, i'm sorry that you're feeling this way, darling, i understand :(( i honestly think it's natural for us to feel a bit unsure about our writing bc we get anxious to know what other people will think of it, or at least that is what happens to me too in some way. i know that it's easier said than done, but don't overthink about it and you're surely not useless nor worthless, you do get some really nice ideas to write, i love them. i understand that it's not like you're uncomfortable in writing smut or something of the sort and i don't know if i'm the best person to give advices about this or what exactly i should tell you but... first of all, keep in mind that you're NOT worthless, everyone has their own writing style/strengths and that doens't mean you're less than anyone else so don't compare yourself with others. second, there's always room for improvement if you feel like that'll help. you can search for writing tips and advices, how to improve and vocabulary. but don't overwork yourself, go at your own pace and don't force yourself to write, if nothing comes out that's okay too. and you know that i'm always here for you 💕💕

aw honey, it's totally okay not to post so often, everyone has their own rhythm to write, as well as personal life, don't care about it too much. and you can always take breaks when you feel like it. you're the sweetest too, i love talking to you 🥺🥺🥺 ewsduijk that's not a problem at all, you can always vent at me

9???? i'm dsjknefmdsjk see? you have so many ideas!! omg the plot is already amazing >>>> okay so, could it be sunwoo or changmin? 🤔

@mistresskate101

#kate 💘#ask #my love

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chocolatte-and-despair · 4 years

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Hi! I'd love to get a matchup if thats not too much work ❤

I'm a bi female but I lean towards women. I'm a Certified Simp.

I guess I'm a mom friend to people who need it. I'm pretty good at reading people and i try to support those around me as best i can! I try to put others needs before my own to the point where I forget I'm not below other people. It takes me awhile to warm up to people, It isn't intentional, I'm just super shy and anxious and I'm not great with people. I like to sing, draw, play video games, read. I zone out and daydream a lot. I really appreciate any kind of affection I get from people. I have borderline personality disorder and relationships are really overwhelming for me at times so communication is really important to me when I feel insecure and think someone hates me/wants to leave me (dw nothing u say ab that can offend me it just is what it is) I have geckos and they are my world!! I hoard of pictures of them on my phone and I treat them as most people treat their dogs haha. I'd like to get a snake and/or a tarantula in the near future! I have a pretty morbid sense of humour but I'm very cautious about who I make jokes around since I'd hate to offend someone. When I'm totally comfortable with people I can be very rowdy and energetic. I ramble a lot and go on rants and then get embarrassed. I like to sing and dance and make people laugh. I'm very tense and quiet usually so it's nice to be with people I can be myself around. I've always been very interested in biology, I plan on going into nursing school when I'm ready and hopefully someday becoming a doctor! I hope that wasn't too much information jskhjhh you can delete this if it is!! thank you so much!!

After thinking for a little bit, I decided to give you ... Cinnamon (Underswap Chara)! Here are a few reasons why! First of all, Cinnamon is very similar to you. She is energetic and gets easily embarrassed whenever she goes off on a tangent about something that she is passionate about. She also loves reptiles, so she would probably love your pets quite a bit, and would support you getting a tarantula or snake in the future. Cinnamon loves video games, so you can bet that she will be your partner at playing them for quite some time. Cinnamon also loves to daydream, especially about the future and her dreams.

* Her age: Humage age: 19 years old, monster age: ??? * Her height: 5'4 feet * Her yandere Type: Manipulative Yandere

* Her dere type: Dorodere

* Her Sexuality: Transgender woman Polysexual Panromantic

A . How would she show her love and affection? How intense would it get? - Cinnamon would pamper you like there is no tomorrow. She would shower you in affection and expensive gifts. She would make you the most delicious food ever and would try her best to make you realize that she really is your best and only option.

B. What type of future is she planning with her lover? - Well, she would actually love to get married. She doesn’t want kids because they would clearly take too much of your attention, and she wouldn’t want that, but if you want, you could have as many pets as you want! She would love to have some too, she always wanted a tarantula.

C. What is the scariest moment with her? - Cinnamon is manipulative. The moment you would try to tell people about her tendencies, everyone would look at you like you are the crazy one, before telling you to stop saying things like that about Cinnamon. No matter what, you would never get help in your situation while being with cinnamon.

D. How does she usually act with her lover? - Cinnamon will make you feel like you are the most important and loved person ever. She will make sure that you never want to leave and well, even if you would want to leave, she would make sure that you wouldn’t be able. Honestly, the fact that you would even consider something like that would be insane.

E. How would she court her lover before? - Of course, she would befriend you. she then would get her other friends to befriend you and start telling you about how great Cinnamon is. And eventually, when Cinnamon would notice that you fell into her trap, she would finally make her move to finally try and seduce you.

F. What's her favorite memory/thing in the relationship? - The shocked face you had when you finally realized how she actually is. The mix of shock and fear would send thrills down Cinnamon’s spine, and she would remember that day like it was yesterday.

G. What sort of kinks would she ask to try out with you? - Cinnamon is actually a heavy switch in the bedroom. If you aren’t dominant, then trust me, she will take the role of the domina with a happy grin on her face. And if you are dominant, then please, make her yours.

1. Flogging - Cinnamon loves the feeling of flogging you. The way you scream and yell is just like music to her ears. She could never get tired of that sound, that was for sure.

2. Graphoerotica - She loves the feeling of people writing on her body, and of course, she would want you to write over her body your name, over and over, so if anyone ever tried anything, they knew who she belonged to.

3. Mummification - The feeling of not being able to move at all is attractive to her, just as it’s attractive to put you in a situation where you can’t move at all too.

#yandere undertale imagines #undertale imagines #yandere imagines #yandere match ups #match ups #yandere #undertale #underswap #chara #underswap chara #yandere undertale #yandere underswap #yandere chara #yandere underswap chara

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silverypurple-rosedlions · 4 years

Text

Entry #357 - Him

Wen Junhui's Entry

━━━━━━☓━━━━━━

"Should we post this?..."

"Jun wanted this posted for his sake, no matter what... It's the least we can do for him,"

"Well, it was scheduled for today, and Jun stated he wanted it to be so... Alright. Have it posted."

━━━━━━☓━━━━━━

I don't know why I'm writing this... Perhaps for closure on my mind? Most likely. But, perhaps, it's also to record thoughts and feelings that I might forget sometimes, needing a reminder later on. But, today was the day I received a gift. A proper goodbye, and a story that brought me to tears and to dream of things I'm not sure I'll ever get to have with him. But, it's nice to see that it could have been an option one day. To move in together, loving and cherishing each other... But, I guess I can only dream of it now since I'm not sure he'll come back. Or, if any of them will come back.

But, it happened when I was with Minghao and Jeonghan hyung. We were eating and talking together, just like usually. Minghao and I were talking in Chinese, while Jeonghan just smiled, now and then checking his phone to check on the members. Then, Jeonghan hyung looked at me with wide eyes, but then he smiled so bright at me. It astonished Minghao and I, both of us wanting to know what it was. Then he said: "Jun should have the benefit of seeing his gift someone has sent him,"

Of course, I smiled and laughed, wondering who would send me a gift. At first, I thought it was a specific, sweet and kind-hearted empress we had came close with, who checked in us whenever she could. Or maybe it was the kind and gentle koala, Felix, wanting to ensure I was fine. But when Jeonghan hyung handed me his phone and I saw what it was, and especially who it came from, I gave him back the phone, covered my hand over my mouth, then removed it, saying, "Are you playing a prank on me? Tell me right now." And, of course, Jeonghan hyung chuckled and shook his head, confirming that it was real. No hallucinations, none of the boys wouldn't dare to do a thing to me, and that it was from them despite him not reading it. So, I read it. And I read his last message to me.

You wouldn't believe the amount of tears I cried. Even thinking back has me shakily writing and crying. But it doesn't hurt like it used to. Not like when I used to cry every night, wondering what to do, how he was, and questioning countless things that made me so scared to get up. But after receiving it, being able to get his last message to me and receive the closure I desperately needed, I can finally accept it. I can accept that it wasn't me who drove him away, or, whatever bizzare thoughts had been created in this corrupted brain of mine.

However, it makes me reminisce about what we did together and what we had said. I remember, a memory that's becoming slightly foggy, when him and the boys came to assist us when the system had been breached. I remember how he came with everyone to help us, getting us all back together despite the gruesome fight that followed. But I remember how he soothed me, talking softly with him when my episode had occurred. I remember him hugging me, comforting me, and us laughing despite the situation when I had came up with the idea of us being awkwardly weird buddies. And after that, I wondered about him: What was he like? What was his story? His dreams? His likings and dislikes? What did he see in me? . . . What was that tight feeling in my chest whenever I thought about him?

Then, the more we talked, him and I, the tight pressure in my chest grew, but it wasn't unbearable. It wasn't uncomfortable. Almost, pleasant? My heart would race, and my cheeks would hurt because I would smile so much when he was around. But, I slowly tried to withdrawal back when he had grown attraction for someone else. I remember that. I was scared, and I didn't understand why it made me sad when I saw his post. The boys didn't notice me, and I don't blame them because I played it off and wished the best for him. I encouraged him, trying to cheer him up. Even though I didn't understand my own feelings, I knew that was in some sort of pain. But, I hoped, despite that pain, that his feelings would be reciprocated. But, in the end, later, I found out that he no longer had those feelings, and both were just friends.

But after that, I didn't look at him the same way. And, perhaps I never did after the incident at the base. However, I understood that I favored him from the others. Not like a mother who favored one child over the other, but, someone who adored him more, but still cared for the others equally. I recall the time I came into Jeonghan and Joshua hyungs' room, almost having a break down because I didn't understand. But, they comforted me and talked with me for hours until they made it clear: I liked Jeon Wonwoo. But I could never tell him that. Not that I didn't want to, but I wanted to get to know him more than I already did. Then, the rebrand happened. He was still the same person we knew, but, there was more to him now, and I didn't want to make things complicated because he had Hanahaki... A ghastly disease I've heard one too many times.

So, I waited for an opportunity when it was right and he had the time he needed, but, I couldn't. I remember how I'd sit there, staring at nothing as I questioned everything: Would he be okay to love a person who was psychotic, a mafia member whose killed dozens? Would he be frightened by me when my episodes started? What if I hurt him by accident? What if I was too late? He barely comes out, so maybe he doesn't or never will see me the same way as I do. And, most importantly, can I even provide him everything he'll ever need and want? Especially love? Will I be enough for him? I was slowly shattering myself with doubt, even when the others found out and encouraged me, but reminded me of other possibilities. And then I thought maybe I shouldn't try because her find someone better than me. Someone pure and healthy, both physically and mentally, sweet and kind. Someone who could offer more. Someone who wasn't me...

Then the entire thing happened. We talked about my crush situation, and I was running around screaming my head off as the boys came after me. But all I wanted to do was just fall somewhere when running, and just lay there, wondering what in the world I was doing. What was he thinking when he found out?... I remember that look on his face when they exposed me, just stern, looking at me and wanting to know who it was. I wasn't entirely sure why he'd suddenly drop his previous attitude. But, now and even after it, I knew why. But what followed afterward had terrified me. I wasn't told about it until I saw the post, but Wonwoo was having it. Hanahaki. And when I saw that it was black cosmos, I was stunned. I didn't know that much about Hanahaki, so, at first, I nearly started to despise the flowers because it was the very flower blossoming inside him. But I still wished him the best, and then... It happened. He confessed, catching me off guard. I remember bawling, the boys comforting me as I responded and told him I felt the same. And at that moment, I had never been more happier in my life when it was me he liked.

After that, we went on a date that was memorable, and I hope to never forget, not even a single detail of it. We had gone out to eat together, and it was the first time he saw my state. I was twitching, and because I was nervous, it increased it, making it hard for me to even eat and I nearly felt embarrassed, wondering if I was making it uncomfortable for him. Yet, he reassured me and helped me. Not once was he bothered by it. He was okay, and I was glad he was. It made me overjoyed that he was okay with me. From there, it was absolutely amazing for me. We went together, stole a cart and raced off to the playground nearby. And there, that became one of my favorite spots although it makes me anxious whenever I'm near a place that's meant for children, being that I'm not trusted to be around kids. But that day was not only labeled the greatest day of my life, and my first date, but also the day I had my first kiss with someone I loved above all things.

And it was the same day he gave me the moon bracelet, something I haven't taken off for ages since I got it... A beautiful white bracelet with a beautiful white stone, while he was the other, a beautiful dark blue that's nearly black. It's something I've treasured ever since, and something I will never lose despite me being clumsy time from time.

It's things like this that I look back towards, and sometimes, I wonder if I could have done more for him and me. But, I'm happy. I'm happy we at least got these opportunities with each other, and cherished each other for so long and even after he's left with the boys. Even though it hurt so much, so very much when he left without a word, I understood. It had to be done for their sake, especially their Admin, but I wish I could've done more. But, I can finally let it calm the storm inside me. I don't know if there will be a day he may return, but I do hope there is even though he told me not to hope too much. But if he ever does come back, all of them, I will never let go, and I promise that I'll do more, continuing my promise to love and cherish him forever. And even if he doesn't come back, I know he loves me dearly, as much as I love him. And that's enough for me. He's enough for me.

- Wen Junhui

💕// @ghoulxbaekhyun (Seok's love) @seventeen-chatbot Wonwoo (Jun's love)

Closest friends// @empress-jiaqi @kpop-shelter @yourlocal-babybear @yourlocal-babybear2 @julia-oc @shinhaneul-oc

💎// @singledad-coups @minghaostitch @decade-wonwoo @god-vernon @xdevilmingyuxx @princexjunhui @leejihoon-cb @van-gogh-minghao @/seventeen-chatbot

🥀// @aikihades @sophie-svt-13 @waitingwhispers60 @yangomangos @m00n-nim96 @moonlit-jaemin @time-for-confession @xash-axx @vampiremomo @mafia-chaeyoung @split-jiu @artsydahyun @princess-yeji @werewolf-sehun @incubuswooyoung @twiceland-saga @amazingspiderhan @mafia-choa @la-soleilmafia-cb @mafia-arin @floristluda @werebaek [DM for +/-]

#insane!jun #jun's entry #him #insane!minghao #insane!mingyu #insane!wonwoo

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spoiledmushrooms · 4 years

Text

THE MAILBOX

"Are you sure about this?"

The chilly September air whipped through the trees as the sun began to melt through the clouds, igniting the sky in dazzling hues of gold and red. Giggling trees framed the expanse of a seemingly-endless forest, shaking free their leaves and needles as creatures passed by. At the base of a well-beaten trail stood four individuals, their shoulders weighed down by a week's-worth of supplies.

"Jules, there's nothing to worry about. I've hiked this trail countless times, we'll be just fine." the brunette assured her friend, squeezing Juliet's hands as she gave her a warm smile. Beside them, two brothers were engaged in an unknown conversation, occasionally glancing up to make sure the girls weren't listening.

"I've just never done this sort of thing before, Viv," Juliet replied as she let out a slow sigh, returning Vivian's calm smile as she tried to convince herself that everything would be fine.

"Besides, the boys can protect us if there's any danger," Vivian added with a wink, chuckling as Juliet rolled her eyes and clutched her heart.

"Oh no, we're screwed." she joked as the two girls shared a laugh, drawing the attention of the two brothers as they finished up their chat.

"Are we ready to go, babe?" the shorter male asked as he slung his arm around Vivian's shoulders, giving Juliet a curious glance as he waited for a response.

"We would be if you two dorks wouldn't sit there and gossip for so long, Eric," Vivian replied as she gently elbowed her boyfriend in the ribs, earning a mock-shocked expression from the blond, followed by a small laugh. After a moment, the male released his grip on Vivian and slung his backpack onto his shoulders, gesturing with his head towards the interior of the woods.

"Let's get going, then; we don't want to waste any more light." the male instructed, his free hand extended for Vivian to hold onto while they walked. Bringing up the rear of the group was Eric's twin brother, Lance; despite the fact that they were born on the same day, they couldn't be any more different from each other. While Eric was shorter and more built like a football player, Lance was tall and had wide shoulders to counter his slim waist. Both boys had been quite popular throughout their high school years, but while Eric had the reputation of being a jock, Lance had the reputation of getting into trouble.

"Have you ever gone camping before?" Jumping slightly at the sound of someone beside her, Juliet looked over to find that Lance was staring down at her with an inquisitive look in his eyes. Even though her best friend, Vivian, was the party girl that everyone liked, Juliet didn't share that status one bit. Most of the time, Juliet had spent those parties reading and ignoring anyone that tried to talk to her. So, then, why was Lance suddenly interested in talking to her?

"I, uh.. No, I haven't." she admitted with a quick smile, adjusting the straps of her backpack as she walked to give her something to focus on.

"I used to go every year with Eric and our parents," Lance began as he vaguely gestured in Eric's direction. "We'd hike all the way to the lake and spend the weekend swimming and fishing," he continued as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "There was an old cabin up there that we loved to mess around in; Eric and I would race each other all the way to the front door, and then we'd dare each other to take a step inside."

Intrigued by this story, Juliet waited a moment before asking, "Did you?" Once it was evident that the blonde was listening to Lance's story, he slowly turned his head to meet her gaze and gave a slow nod.

"After a few minutes of arguing, I decided to take the first step into the house. I remember a horrible smell hitting me once I'd entered the cabin, but I had no idea where it was coming from. It was pitch black in that place since the windows had been boarded up, and when I turned around to leave, I realized that the door was gone. I pounded on the wall and shouted for Eric to open the door, but I didn't hear any response. Suddenly, I had the sensation that I was being watched; it felt like there was something right behind me, breathing down my neck. Before I could do anything else, I felt cold, boney fingers brush against my neck, and then... BAH!"

Letting out a startled scream as Juliet felt something tug at her hair, she realized after a moment that the cackling boy had made the entire story up. Huffing in annoyance as she pushed Lance away from her, Juliet quickened her pace as the male cried out, "What? Hey, Juliet! What did I do?"

- ✧ -

"He tells that stupid story every time we go camping," Eric explained in an aggravated tone, glancing over at Juliet as Vivian gave her shoulder a light squeeze.

"He scared me with it the first time he told it to me, too," Vivian admitted with a silly look on her face, smiling brightly as Juliet let out a small laugh. "He's just a lame jerk," she added as Eric gave her a gentle warning nudge. "What? You said it yourself, Eric; he's a jerk."

As the couple began bickering over who said what, Juliet let her gaze wander over the trees as they walked past, her eyes adjusting to the different levels of darkness that were enveloping the forest. Back home, there was a small patch of woods that sat directly behind Juliet's house, and often she would see deer or rabbits come to the treeline in search of food. Sometimes, Juliet would leave a pile of apples or seeds for the animals, hoping to catch some photos of them before they disappeared back into the trees.

After a couple minutes of walking in silence, Juliet's eyes caught something strange through a thin patch of bushes. At first, it looked like a mangled tree stump that someone had cut down and left in shambles, but once the group got closer to it, the blonde realized what she was looking at.

"A mailbox?" At the sudden sound of Juliet's voice, the three pairs of eyes turned towards her before following her gaze into the bushes. It was undoubtedly a mailbox, but the strange thing was that there wasn't a house nearby; there weren't even any ruins or signs that a house had ever existed out here.

Curious, Juliet decided to investigate this strange mailbox and began pushing through the dense underbrush, aware that the rest of the group was hastily following her.

"Are you sure it's a mailbox?" Vivian asked as she came to stand beside Juliet, her eyes landing on the rusted metal box that was leaning in the soft dirt it had been staked into.

"What's it doing out here?" Eric added as he reached his hand out to inspect it. To everyone's surprise, Lance grabbed his brother's arm and yanked it back, his expression grim and uneasy as he shook his head.

"I don't like this, I don't think you should touch it," he explained in a worried voice, his nose crinkling as Eric shook his arm free.

"Oh please, like I'm going to fall for that again." Eric laughed as he grabbed the lid of the mailbox and threw it open, reaching his hand inside to search for any contents. "Hm, no mail," he joked as Vivian let out a nervous laugh, her gaze anxious and slightly frightened.

"We should go," Lance suggested as he took a few steps back towards the trail, waiting to see if any of the others were going to follow him.

"Lance, seriously, you can stop now," Eric told him as he slipped off his backpack, rummaging around for something as the rest of the group stared in silence. After a moment, Eric retrieved a small notepad and pen from his bag, a mischevious smile on his face as he began writing something down.

"Eric, what are you doing?" Vivian asked in a shaky voice, gripping Juliet's arm as they both waited for his response.

"I'm writing a letter to the owner of this mailbox," he replied as he scribbled words down onto the paper, tearing the page free as he held it up to the rest of the group.

"Dear mailbox owner, my name is Eric, and these are my friends, Lance, Vivian, and Juliet. We stumbled across your mailbox and wanted to leave a note. Hope to hear back from you, Eric."

"I don't like this, Eric, I don't think we should leave a note." Vivian commented as her grip around Juliet tightened.

"Me neither," Juliet added as she watched Eric fold up the piece of paper and stick it into the mailbox.

"Oh come on, what's the worst that could happen?"