#-when i say at my limit im at my limit of desperate confusion watching people do the dumbest shit but going uwu the entire time doing it-

[ganondoodle]

said this on tiwtter too but im seriously at my limit, people go and be all like "oh my god young people have no idea of basic internet security omggggg" and the same person will immediately make an account on t/hreads that is stealing so much data from you its basically one step away from straight up kidnapping

i get we are all desperate, i really do, but i WILL judge you if you go and sign up for the literally shittiest app on earth thats really just a flimsy disguise of a bunch of data suckers in a trench coat

use tumblr, cohost, pillowfort, (the latter two also allow nsfw) ANYTHING but that suckerberg leech i am BEGGING you

idk how accurate it is but i saw the numbers of 75 MILLION sign ups for the threads bs, what the hell are you doing, i feel like im in one of those old anti technology comics were young people just walk off a cliff en masse bc they only look at their phone and nothing else while im the old guy in a chair watching them do it

#ganondoodles talks #are people seriously this blindly signing up for anything new a big -KNOWN SHITTY AF- corporation is putting out #isnt it literally just like insta but worse #like #if you dont like tumblrs layout or whatever theres also cohost #its basically like twitter but also has features of timblr #like having multiple blogs to on account #idk man i actually feel like im going crazy #what is this #this has made me feel more old than the knowledge that lil kids are doing a flat hand gesture for phones bc all they know are smart phones #if people are ACTUALLY making that thing be the next giant “”social media“” i will not forgive them #you will not peer pressure me there #-when i say at my limit im at my limit of desperate confusion watching people do the dumbest shit but going uwu the entire time doing it-

[simp4konig]

König jealous of your dog headcannons

Gender-neutral Reader

Word count: Definitely more than 2😎 🗿Honest to God i have no idea whay the word count is 🤦🏼‍♀️These were mewnt to be short headcannons yet as PER USUAL i got carried away 🤡🤡not abt to copynpaste every single paragraph individually into a word counter

*Slow burn

*Established relationship with König

*⚠️Google Translate German!!⚠️ (sorry guys ...💔)

*Not requested 😋😋 just something that's been on my mind.

*Pls dont worru about rqs guys!!😨 Writing two of tjem atm but I jus wanted to post this first (so my profile isnt as barren as the Sahara desert🏜️while i work at a pace that is slower than that of a turtle 🐢)! :)

*Also how tf do people make their bullet points look so good??? is it a formatting thing or sum cuz im ACTUALLT crippled 😰😰

...

König really didn't want to be jealous of your dog. He didn't.

He hadn't anticipated he would ever feel that way, especially towards a dog, of all things.

Despite not being the type to be jealous — at least, not from his perspective; he was only looking out for his darling! — his eyes would narrow whenever a soldier would approach you, being far too handsy with a stranger. His partner. It made his blood boil.

Sure, König would always stare down whoever made the mistake of flirting with you or introducing themselves with playful banter while behind you. Clearing his throat, a tense hand was placed gently yet firmly on your shoulder.

"Hör auf, mit meinem Schatz zu reden, sonst breche ich dir das Genick."

Not understanding a word of what he said, they would cower in fear nonetheless, getting the message with how he'd had spat that sentence and the venom in his voice. Glancing at their wrist despite wearing no watch, they'd insist that they were running out of time and literally run away.

When you'd look up at him in confusion, König looked back down at you innocently, paraphrasing that he had simply said you were taken.

A facepalm from you. "God, König..." you'd groan, unable to stop the silly smirk from stretching itself on your face. "You nearly made that guy shit himself. Please don't do that again."

König would likewise always straighten himself to his full height and cast a menacing shadow at the dummkopf who dared speak poorly of you.

Once they'd mumble rushed apologies and speed-walk away, you'd see him glowing with an adoring expression in his eyes, a complete 180° to the death stare he shot at the recruit and the hand gesture he made at his throat seconds before.

König would always rest a large hand on your lower back to guide you in crowds, keeping you close beside him to further drive in the point that you were strictly off limits.

Really though, he wasn't jealous. Not in the slightest!

He rationalised his behaviour as looking out for you. In no way was he being overbearing or overly territorial; if anything, people were pushing your already established boundaries and he was reminding people of them! He wasn't jealous at all, no.

Behind closed doors, however, he'd be quieter than usual and have a vulnerable look in his eyes, desperate for your reassurance and to hear you say that you loved him.

Deep down, he was insecure.

That good-looking man didn't make you swoon, did he? Why were you laughing so hard at his joke? He wanted to have made you laugh like that. You still loved him, though, didn't you? You wouldn't want to be with anyone else, right? Right?

It wasn't that König didn't trust you. Although this Colonel looked fierce in front of his collegues and used his booming voice to command others with a harsh tone he found it difficult to project at a large crowd, he had always been sensitive in secret. Being bullied in childhood could certainly do that to a person.

You were the only one he trusted to see his insecurities, and would always shower him with love and affection in private, reassuring him that yes, he was still your sweet and handsome König, and yes, of course you still loved him — that guy that got a laugh out of you was only one out of pity, as he gave you the ick anyways.

One afternoon while you two were eating dinner, König had out of the blue been the one to suggest the idea of a pet; a strong, big, intimidating dog that would protect you while he himself couldn't.

In all actuality, he had been thinking this over since the day you two started dating.

After all, as much as he'd had liked to clone himself and have one part of him fighting when duty called while the other part stayed with you to protect you at home, obviously that wasn't achievable. That afternoon seemed most appropriate to bring it up, as he was assigned for a mission in two weeks' time and was already worried sick over you despite still yet to be around you at all times for twelve more days.

You laughed, surprised by his sudden suggestion. In a way, you had already had a guard dog all along, you told him, yet König shook his head vehemently, insistent. "Nein! Was ist, wenn du verletzt bist? What if you get hurt while I am away? I won't allow it!"

Shaking your head in defeat as an amused smile was tugging at your lips, you couldn't really blame your boyfriend for being so paranoid. In a sense, he was justified in thinking so, and you couldn't fault him, him being a soldier — a Colonel — and all.

König himself came to the conclusion that you should have a German-Shepherd — "A big, strong, and intelligent dog" — smiling proudly as he said so. Laughing at his need to prove himself to you and his evident enthusiasm that proved he was deadly serious, you shook your head again with a sincere smile on your face and gave his forehead a kiss. Really, his concern over you was endearing, and you loved him so much.

On the day before the mission of his, he surprised you by leading in a fully-grown German Shepherd into your shared home as he carried a large dufflebag over his shoulder. Although you had wanted to have a puppy, König insisted a trained canine used in the police force and military operations would keep you safe, and he was firm, not budging even when you mustered the best puppy-dog eyes you could. He knew best, and he needed to relieve the anxiety that plagued him when you weren't around immediately. Finally having use for the connections he had made in his position, he was able to bring home on of Kortac's own German-Shepherds.

Standing with a self-assured manner, the dog didn't hesistate in showering you with love once the lead came off, lapping and licking at your face in excitement at seeing his new owner's face.

You laughed out loud when you saw a tactical dog collar around his neck, the same khaki colour that matched König's cargo pants. Another piece of König to remind you of him.

Still standing, König watched with his arms crossed and a huge smile across his face as he saw how happy you were. He was beginning to breathe easy with the knowledge that nothing would come to harm you while he was away.

Tongue out while panting, the dog waited expectantly under you for an order.

You looked up at König, eyes sparkling in child-like excitement. "Can he do tricks?"

Smiling, König's eyes crinkled in his love for you. "Schatz, it can do more than just tricks. It can protect you. And it will."

You looked down at the giant yet sweet dog, and raised your voice slightly.

"Sit." He did so without hesitation.

"Handshake," you prompted, and he offered his paw to you obediently.

"Stay..." you began, a finger in front of his snout, "stay..."

"Good boy!" you squealed, and fed him a dog treat from the one of the XXL bags König had bought for the occasion, along with a mountain of dog toys, and even a bed.

"What are clever boy you are, aren't you? Yes you are! You are!"

König crouched, and pet the top of the dog's head a couple of times, his eyes on you. "What do you want to call it, meine Liebe?"

Pausing, all at once it occured to you. With joyful satisfaction, you exclaimed: "Prince!" You giggled, barely able to contain your happiness. "Our Prince to my sweet, handsome King," you cooed, not failing to notice the way König looked away, his cheeks under the eye holes of his hood reddening at your comment.

While away from you for weeks, even months at a time, he could rest easier knowing that you weren't all alone at home. Although he still worried for you excessively, biting his nails when in his room as he thought over how you could be doing and what you were doing at any given time, at least he wouldn't toss and turn at night thinking over what could happen to you. He'd smile in satisfaction, pleased that his presence would still linger even when he wasn't physically there, finding comfort in the fact that a part of him still remained with you when he was hundreds of miles away.

You, on the other hand, were so happy! Obviously you were overwhelmed with the responsibility — quite frankly, you had never had a dog before, much less one this big — so you struggled to take care of it in the beginning. Knowing what food to feed it, how to keep it entertained, going so often outside you'd flop on a chair in exhaustion was physically and mentally demanding, as you wanted your canine companion to love you unconditionally and not be a bad owner to it at all.

However, it all quickly became routine to you: walking your guard dog as his ears were perked up in alertness, head darting around from side to side; playing with it in the park, and spoiling it with treats when you'd get home; and grooming his soft, dark fur and taking him to vet checkups almost made you wonder how you had managed to live this long without ever owning a pet.

Whenever you'd make yourself some food, you filled his bowl with dog food too. Whenever you had just stepped out of the shower, it would be your dog's turn to be cleaned in the bathtub. Whenever you would lazily lay on the sofa or sprawl yourself on the bed, your dog was cuddled up to you.

It was all fun and games, though, until he'd damn near suffocate you with his sheer mass and make you sneeze from the fur that tickled your nostrils, but you slowly grew used to it, using your German Shepherd as a weighted blanket and hugging it like it was your own child.

Somehow, this furry friend filled a void that König would leave behind, and you practically were both attached by the hip — well, by the ankle and hind leg, actually, but that's beside the point. You two were inseparable, and if König knew that then he'd be surely overjoyed.

When König finally had some precious minutes to himself, the first thing he'd do was call you, wanting to hear your voice and make sure you were alright. He'd nearly trip over his own two feet as he scrambled for his phone to dial your number, nearly knocking over a lamp and falling over some furniture in the process.

You'd pick up on the second ring and would nearly go deaf upon hearing the loud accented voice on the receiver. "Liebling! How are you, my sweet? I have been missing you!"

You two would exchange these sorts of questions and proclamations of love back and forth, so lovey-dovey that some of the more daring operators in König's faction made gagging noises on the other side of the door, while the more serious operators scolded them and reminded them that they were yet to feel the touch of another man/woman.

As König would listen to your ramblings about how happy you were and your lovely German Shepard, however, his ears perked up and he listened more closely.

"Prince is so lovely! He's my sweet baby and I love him so so so much! He's definitely my best friend right now, 100%. Everyone back home is getting pissy with me when I don't answer their calls because I spend more time with him than I do with them but can you really blame me when I have this beautiful prince? I mean, he's so sweet! Whenever I don't wake up at the same time in the morning he's jumping into bed and licking my face and oh my God I cannot cope with this cuteness! He's such a good boy! The very best boy! The best boy of all the boys!"

Meanwhile, König stood there, his mouth agape.

...What did you mean he was your sweet baby? Your beautiful prince? Your good boy?

Why would you call him the — not the best, but the very best — boy, the best of all boys? You couldn't have been serious.

It was just a dog. Why were you so attached to it?

It wasn't like König didn't grasp the concept of strong bonds between humans and animals — in fact, he had always been a strong believer of the "dogs being a man's best friend" common knowledge — but... this? You were coddling the thing, for God's sake! It was supposed to be fierce and threatening, not cute and cuddly. How was it supposed to protect you when all you'd do was hug it and give it compliments?

He felt his jaws tighten when you panned the camera down to show the dog peacefully laying beside you on the bed, you stroking his ears. On. The. Bed. On his and your bed. The bed the two of you would sleep on.

König couldn't believe this; he, a grown man, a disciplined soldier that moved up the ranks to be a Colonel, a 6'10 brutal killing machine who l... wanted you to be calling him those things, wanted you to run your fingers through his hair like that. Not some mutt. You were giving it star treatment and pampering it way too much than you should have.

He laughed at himself for thinking so irrationally and for being so immature. I mean, it was a dog. There was no competition to be won, nothing to prove — his rational thought repeated to him that you still loved him regardless — yet the ultimate prize would be you and your attention.

He chuckled disingenuously as you rambled on about something, and the smile under his hood didn't quite reach his eyes.

When he finally returned after grueling months away from you, those pale blue eyes still crinkled up in happiness whenever they saw you, still picked you up and spun you in the air as you'd shriek like a banshee while your legs kicked freely, still gave you a loving kiss on your lips before showering your face with wet kisses. He'd pull away, a boyish grin on his face, his face flushed, your eyes locked with his in an intimate moment...

...And then his mood would sour as your dog leaped up towards you, not wanting to be left out in the reunion.

You'd fail to notice his hands clenched into fists as your dog took the oh so comfortable spot on your lap, where he should have been laying, how below his mask a scowl was aimed at the dog you'd shower with kisses that should have been for him, how the dog would slobber your face and leave it dripping in drool, almost as if it was proving some point to him and being totally smug about it.

Of course, he didn't seem the least bit bothered to you — he wouldn't let his behaviour show. This was utter childishness, completely ridiculous, and absolutely absurd, yet somehow König couldn't control the jealousy that would stew inside of him hours after you'd fall asleep, glaring at the dog laying in between you when all he had wanted all day was to cuddle up to you and hold you close.

Somehow, his plan to keep you safe backfired, because the dog took his job as your body guard too seriously and would not let him be affectionate with you. He was beginning to despise the creature.

When you'd be walking the dog together and shower it with praise, König's hands clenched into tight fists. When you'd stroke the dog's head gently, running your fingers through his thick fur as his front paws were tucked neatly underneath him, König's nails dug into his biceps as he kept his arms firmly crossed, hating what he was seeing through his peripheral vision. When you'd glance at him as your dog was nestled between your legs, he'd turn his head, hiding the furrowed eyebrows and the clear pout on his face of an annoyed child, behaving like an annoyed child.

• In conclusion: give your König a hug. :( A kiss right on the lips and tell him that he's your sweet baby! Your beautiful prince! Your good boy! Your favourite person in the entire world and the best of the best!

• Reserve that precious spot on your lap *just* for him, and allow him to be putty in your hands!

• Run your fingers through his hair just like you would with your dog, and scratch that sensitive spot on his scalp with your fingernails!

• Don't make him regret ever getting the dog for you :'( As time goes on, it will eventually become the "father that didn't want the pet is now best friends with it and the pet is most affectionate with him" kind of dynamic.

• Just because muscular men and army-hardened soldiers like König were disciplined to be stoic and strong, sometimes they want nothing more than affection and words of affirmation from their lover from time to time. <3

So, you'd now lounge on the couch, content with your two guard dogs on either side of you; your Prince laying to your right, and your King in between your thighs, stroking the top of his head as his chest rose and fell at a steady rhythm.

...

Note: Gonna kms 🤡🔫 i have ro to go back to school tmr fucjing WHY i hate everyoje there 😭So yeah less frequent updates sorry guys 💔💔still going to be writing my long-ass fanfictions but itll take more time and ill probs have like 10 mentsl breakfowns daily 🤪 literallt cannot wait 🥰

My writing process is so incomprehensible tho 😭i jump from the first fic im writing to the second one im writing WAYY too often 🗿but ig its good because in a way im not TECHNICALLY procrastinating and beinf productive with 2 projects at once,, tho idk i guess tbats just a major cope if im beinf honest🤷🏼‍♀️

THANKS FOR 1000+ LIKES AND NEARLY 80 FOLLOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🎉🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💕💕💕💕 LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF U AND WISH YOU NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS IN LIFE 🥹🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#aking10592_ ≛彡 #könig #konig #könig cod #konig cod #könig call of duty #konig call of duty #könig mw2 #konig mw2 #könig mwii #konig mwii #könig modern warfare #konig modern warfare #könig fanfiction #konig fanfiction #könig x reader #konig x reader #könig x fem reader #konig x female reader #könig x male reader #konig x male reader #könig x gn reader #könig x gender neutral reader #konig x gn!reader #könig x you #konig x you #cod headcannons

[iridescentis]

since the next life series is on fucking friday?? i guess??? im still so in shock and confused BUT here are my hopes NOT PREDICTIONS just hopes

i am begging. on my knees. please. let there be a soup group team. now that we know gem is going to be in it, and that photo she posted wherever had impulse in it, i am so desperate for a soup group team AT LEAST an alliance.

second thing, regardless of her team i really want pearl to be in a group rather than another duo this time, i just want to see her dynamic with a larger group of people more involved with the thick of chaos rather than off to the side - this is partially because i always watch her povs first and in limited life i was so confused what was happening around her

NEXT. of course, as usual, i would love some more team randomising, i know they gravitate to the same players for a reason but it's always nice seeing new dynamics we wouldn't otherwise see

in terms of winners, i would say im rooting for either cleo or impulse because, even though i'll be happy with anyone winning, i think both of them character wise and gameplay wise deserve it so much

i am curious how everyone else is feeling about the canary curse though because i feel like i hold an unpopular opinion maybe? i really want the curse to be broken tbh i think the lore would go crazy, all the animatics and fics that would come from jimmy just being the second to die instead would be insane and i would love that so much

i think that's it really? i am so excited and kind of on edge for this to start like i was very clearly not expecting this i can't remember how i reacted when limited life started but i feel way more caught off guard this time lmao

#trafficblr #the life series

[finalmoment]

i'm the anon who sent the befriending ask.... i am very very curious about more of your thoughts on the complexities of csa. i was thinking about this the other day because i was reading far from the tree and

[The perpetrators in the Horace Mann scandal] were wounded, confused people trying to figure out how to function in a world that taught them their homosexual desire was sick […] someone whose core being is deemed a sickness may struggle to parse the distinction between that and a greater crime

i'm not sure i agree with the line of reasoning in this paragraph (i think often perpetrators are not "confused" so much as "desperate") but i do think incidences of csa, especially as relating to homosexuality, do often occur due to the way society has treated gayness (in a way that makes it "safer" to experiment across a large power differential)

hello!

discussion of csa and homosexuality and criminalization

one of the things i was thinking of as i wrote that post that i didnt include because this thought process isnt fully...processed...is that many of these crimes are contingent on certain ideas we have now about crime and the effects of actions. a lot of the causality we take for granted now did, at some point in the past, have to be learned... an understanding of it did not come intuitively to the people causing or experiencing it. i find the language of "excuses" sort of unhelpful and limiting, so i don't want to put too fine a point on whether something is Wrong even if the person doesn't Know They're Doing Wrong or have An Intent To Hurt. these things are fuzzy and not the topic of conversation to me... what matters is that like, articulations of why something wrong change from period to period as knowledge grows. so like, now we would say that child abuse is bad because you're causing indelible harm to an immature psyche at a stage when this harm will form the basis of their interactions with the world. but at a certain point in the past the explanation was more along the lines of "you shouldn't have sex with a teenager because sex before marriage is wrong and bad and you cant get married to a teenager" [well, you could also do that, and many people did].

so with that out of the way, i also have to wonder how much of a role... homosociality and the kinds of relations it favored and enabled played a part in the tendency towards relationships with a wide age gap. there's the reason in the quote you mentioned and which i went over in my post, that an ethical-but-illegal act gets conflated with an unethical-and-illegal one due to their shared illegality. that's one thing. but also i wonder if it was...accepted practice in some fashion to clock younger gay men, effeminate teenagers and noticeably limp-wristed dandies, and fold them into a circle of homosexual activity (i make it sound very depraved nkdjfskf) via seduction or whatever. like there's a difference to me between making out with someone much younger than you because otherwise they might try to kiss their classmate and get hatecrimed and...grooming with the intent to isolate and abuse. i'm not saying it was always innocent or that there weren't predatory gay men but there's a noticeable discrepancy between isolating abuse and drawing someone into a circle of relative safety and normalcy from a young age.

i don't know much about this topic and i am basically just applying my reasoning and imagination to it. which is also what i did in my original post so im pleasantly surprised to find corroboration, and it's a very interesting quote for sure - i agree that it's desperation in general, and the confusion is more likely to arise from (for example) having had similar experiences in their own past and reproducing them due to a lack of framework.

thank you for the ask! im sorry if it stops making sense at any point im very sleepy and we just watched perfect blue so my brain is pretty fried. if you dont want me to have answered this ask publicly let me know and ill make it private!

#csa tw #asks

[epipenis]

i want them to suffer. i want to take back control. i wish id never gotten this far, this deep. i hate the idea that they think of me this way, that they’re better than me because they had a therapist telling to to do self care and about roll confusion. i’m so fucking mad and sad and hurt. i want to hurt them. but i cant. i have nothing. and its cruel. i’m just so so so fucking tired of feeling so incredibly exceedingly unappreciated. get out of my life. stop leaching off of the limited resources i have. do you even fucking realize for one second how much i’ve given up for you. how much i’ve begged and bared everything and lit myself on fire to try for you and you have failed me again and again and again and now i want you gone. and that anger and pain is so much stronger because i can’t get rid of you, i can’t have things go back to how they were, i can’t make you less selfish and ungrateful. i fucking hate you so much…. because i’ve loved you beyond what is even reasonable, or ultimately sustainable or healthy…. and it literally could never be enough. because you were never enough. and i’m a fucking fool for taking you on. i want you gone. i want you far away. and yet i want so desperately to have you see it. to have you appreciate it. at this point i just want to watch you suffer under the pain i’ve been carrying for so fucking long and literally dragging you along while i get dragged back. i’m worse off than i’ve ever been and you have barely made any growth……….. you’ve made some but it’s not even close to enough. it’s not enough. and you still dare to complain and burn the money you’ve been given. amanda said it themselves- not even if regard to me, but in regard to themselves, to jeff, ryan, rainey. “i don’t think they’ll ever realize how much good will they’ve burned”. i will never tell you these things…… bc some insane part of me needs to see you succeed because otherwise what the fuck was any of it for, and i think that could only make you crumble. and frankly i resent you for being so fucking weak that i can’t even tell you this shit. i can’t tell you anything. there is no room for growth or discussion. i always have to monitor everything i say. and you just blow your feelings all over the place. even when im begging, fucking begging. you still have to be in more pain. i hate you. i fucking hate you because i thought you were better than this and you just fucking aren’t. i hate you because you’re a reflection of all of my worst qualities and because of the pain i’ve put myself in. i want you gone. i don’t want any of the people who are supposed to be nice and to care for me give any more of that to you. i begged them to. begged. over and over again. and they gave everything even when they had nothing and i lost so much and you gave me so so so fucking little. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you i want to hurt you, emotionally, physically. i want to punch you. i worry that if you do it again i wont be able to control myself. don’t fucking touch me. how dare you be upset that i don’t say i love you. how dare you. i fucking hate you so god damn much you’re so weak. you ask for truth but you can never handle it and i always have to pick up the pieces im so fucking mad that you dare ask for patience again and again and again. you’re so like your sister. you’re awful. get away from me. how could you do this to me. you promised me it was worth it. and it just fucking isn’t. how could you fail me like this. am i really that meaningless. am i nothing. is anything i will ever do worth anything…….. i get you. because i trusted you. and i worked so so so so so fucking hard to help you figure out how to take care of yourself so that you could do the baseline and treat me with respect and trust and acknowledgement and love and gratitude and want and i never fucking got that shit. get out. get out……… i’m so mad because you tried…. because this was your best….. because i have cherished and respected and encouraged you and am grateful to you….. and it was t enough. and you will blow up again. do i ask for too much?

no. i have to believe i dont. maybe i didnt always ask in the best ways. maybe sowntimes too much. but you always gave what i didn’t want and didn’t give anything i begged for, and then acted burnt out. whose fault is that…… fuck. i’m so fucking hurt. how could i give away everything i have had to you. get the fuck out. get out…… even this pain wouldn’t have you realize it. you would be too busy playing the pain olympics and hating yourself and feeling judged. “i don’t have parent trauma” my fucking ass, fuck you, you’re so unaware. i want to kick you until you figure it out. because your stupid fucking bs has hurt me- so deeply. and even when i told you that it didn’t fucking matter and it had to be about you. is it because ‘i have things you don’t’. fuck you you selfish sinister neurotic narcissistic self centered traumatized and weak and helpless, hopeless, blind, stupid fucking bitch.

i hate that i tried to make you better when you fucking didn’t actually want it. not really.

and now i’m worse.

and i’m selfish. and awful. maybe i’ve only survived this long due to a saint complex………. kill me. but then again, i really believed in you…. and now i hope no one ever does again.i hope they all give up. i hope you never find someone to love you, hold you, make you cum, take you in, share their love, their community, i fucking want to burn your clit off. i want to tattoo on you the pain you’ve caused me so you never forget. i want to kill you and myself because i hate the idea of being this fucked and thinking this low of anyone. i just……… wish to god, please god, lord, savior, god, God. i wish this had t gone this way. i wish it was over. i wish you were better, somewhere far away, and i was happy….. i wish i hadn’t given up so much, i wish i could have it back. i hate you. i want to bite you. i want to choke you out. i want to tie you down and punch you……….. im nothing. i’m fucking nothing. and now i’m the scary and fucked up one. and now i’m the one you’ll work through in therapy. it’s me. i should’ve left a long long long time ago. but i didn’t.

take some responsibility. punch me, hard. do it first. so i can punch you back. i want to see you and hear you in pain. i want to be in pain. i want to be dead because i don’t want to be in pain and because i give up. i’m the fucking worst. i’m the tyrant. why didn’t you run. why did you have no one and nothing else. why are you still so sweet and tempting, why are you still so beautiful, why did you hurt me….. why did you hurt me. why. why. was i never enough. why did you do this. please just. fucking go away so i don’t have to hear you answer and i won’t even get a chance to ask because really want kind of sick unwell masochist am i to ask that question. at this point. i’m so hurt. i’m tired of begging. pleading. there’s no hope.

now i dry my tears and prepare for a war. what will i do. how strong can i be. what will it take. how far will i go. now that i see it, i want out. how do i sustain this. why. why are you like this. i hate you. you’re nothing. you are nothing. and it’s too late.

please hold me…………. don’t fucking touch me.

oh how things have changed. i can see the path walked a million times over, and im walking along side it. its littered with gravestones, id put a flower at every one. it’s frozen now. i can’t go back.

why couldn’t i have met you when you were better. would you have gotten better without me? am i really so se centered to believe that’s true? but then i look at how insanely fucking hard i’ve worked, and how little has changed, and i think……. maybe. and then i see you making progress. and i resent you for me. there’s no progress for me, when do you work on us, when do you help me. when do you stop thinking you’re so fucking perfect. you’re pretentious. and insolent. and stubborn. and childish. you are childish. no matter how much you know or what parent figures you have in your life or what you believe you’re doing and preforming. you are weak. and not in the ways you coddle yourself for. in the ways you praise yourself for.

no more flowers. don’t miss them. or i’ll hate you more. just leave. and never come back to this grave yard. not unless you bring your own flowers.

fuck you. for never helping pull the wagon. for dragging me down. for thinking to highly of yourself and so little at the same time. fuck yoh. fuck……… i want the tears to stop. i want to ache to stop. i want you to keep asking so i can keep denying. i want you to suffer. i want to take away everything i can. we’ve been down this road before. and i brought us back. and now. “whatever im going through” and it’s triggering you. i just……….. want to bite you. tie you down so you can’t stop me or scratch me, and bite you. i’m tired…………. im so tired. i want to feel the tired, that sad exhaustion and rest and peace in pain. but i want to bite you first.

ok. now that i’m sufficiently marked for inpatient. and you’re doing so well.

run good for you by olivia rodrigo. i told you one day it would be the song i played after we broke up. and you told me no… i should’ve known then.

💐

goodbye. i’ll miss you. and i’ll hate you for making me miss you. make it quick. give me a reason to hate you.

#mine #breakup #relationships #text post #writing #2/4/24 #flowers #graveyard #caregiver burnout #mental health #mental illness

[aomine-ryo]

Your last ask was seriously funny! We need more of that. If possible, can I request different scenrios where the s/o of the gom gets asked questions by the s/o of their boyfriend's teammate(s) about their night (because reader has a looot of love marks).... this is so freaking specific, im sorry😂😂 if you cant do it it fine, if you do, then i appreciate you and your writings (i love your blog and im also a simp for Aomine)

Aren’t we all a simp for Aomine 😭💕 I really couldn’t think of anything for Midorima and Murasakibara without it being too repetitive and boring so I unfortunately left them out of this one, so I’m sorry and I hope you don’t mind too much!! xx

Scenario: Kuroko, Kise, Aomine and Akashi’s s/o being questioned about their love marks

Kuroko

It was a rather chilly Wednesday afternoon and you were watching Seirin’s practice as you usually would. While you initially came there to watch your boyfriend play, you actually also ended up becoming quite close with Kagami, Izuki and Mitobe’s significant others who also came to watch quite often.

As you watched over the practice while chatting away with your friends, you began to feel rather warm due to the gym’s heating, so you took off the scarf that you’d wrapped around your neck. Not thinking too much of it, you continued with your conversation, only to notice that your friends had their eyes fixated on your neck. “Why are you guys looking at me like that?” you questioned, trying to decipher the strange smirks and nods they shared with each other.

“Y/N, your neck...” Mitobe’s s/o trailed off, getting caught up in giggles before they could finish.

“What? Is there something on my neck?” you asked, beginning to panic as your hand immediately reached for it in the fear that there was a bug on it.

“I’m guessing you and Kuroko had some fun last night,” Kagami’s s/o giggled, causing you to freeze as you came to a realisation of what they were referring to.

You quickly wrapped the scarf around your neck again to conceal the red marks your boyfriend had left the night before. Filled with embarrassment, your averted your gaze and fixated on the boys’ practice to avoid making eye contact with your friends. Of course, they didn’t let you off the hook that easily.

“I didn’t think Kuroko was the type to leave marks, but damn he really went to town on your neck, huh Y/N?” Kagami’s s/o teased, making your face turn red with embarrassment.

“Shut up,” you grumbled, letting out a nervous chuckle.

“So, was yesterday a special night? Or does he always leave marks like those?” Mitobe’s s/o interrogated.

“It’s always the quiet ones...”

“Oh my God, stop,” you said, unable to hold back the giggles from the ridiculousness of their comments. “It was just a normal night okay?”

The two of them shared a look before hooting a long “oooooh,” making you wish you didn’t say anything at all.

“So it’s a normal thing then?” Kagami’s s/o continued, the grins on their faces growing wider and wider.

“I’m gonna pretend like I can’t hear you,” you said finally, looking everywhere but at them. You didn’t lie when you said that though. They kept teasing you, but you just sat there as though they weren’t talking to you.

Eventually, they got tired of it, but they didn’t hesitate to shoot you knowing glares when practice ended and you hurried over to Kuroko to escape them.

“Is everything okay?” Kuroko asked you, when he noticed how much of a hurry you were in to leave.

“Yeah, they just saw the marks from last night,” you informed him, making him blush at the memory of the previous night’s events. “So can we just leave before they come here and embarrass me even more?”

Not wanting to draw any attention to himself, Kuroko agreed with you after letting out a small chuckle. “Sorry about that, Y/N,” he said sincerely, not knowing how he’d respond to remarks if he were in your position.

You gave his hand a tight squeeze and flashed him a reassuring smile. “It’s alright, I’ll let it slide because last night was really fun,” you beamed, causing his face to flush red before the two of you left the gym after exchanging brisk goodbyes with the team.

Kise

It was just another practice day at Kaijo where you were casually chatting with your friends. They weren’t normally people you would hang out with, but you’d gotten quite close during these practices since they were the significant others of your boyfriend, Kise’s teammates. Whilst you considered them friends, they weren’t exactly close enough where you’d feel comfortable sharing personal details about your relationship, so you would often stick to light hearted stuff— which you quite enjoyed because they always gave you a good laugh.

“Y/N, is this the first time you’re wearing a scarf?” Moriyama’s s/o asked you, eyeing the bright blue scarf that Kise lent you this morning.

“Yeah, it is,” you nodded.

“I can tell. It’s really not your usual style— it’s not even wrapped properly,” they continued, giving you a pitiful chuckle as Kasamatsu’s s/o bobbed their head in agreement.

“Yeah, I know. I was trying something new, but I’m not sure I like it,” you sighed, fiddling with the end of it. To be honest, you didn’t even want to wear it. It was only there to cover up the bright red marks Kise left all over your neck the night before. You wanted to cover it up with makeup, but you remembered that morning that you needed to buy a new bottle of foundation because Kise accidentally knocked your old one over while playing around with you and broke it.

“Here let me wrap it properly for you,” Kasamatsu’s s/o offered, shuffling closer to you and taking your scarf off before you had time to protest.

And just like that, you were left bare-necked, with both of their eyes glued onto you in shock as your face flushed red. You immediately snatched the scarf back and wrapped it back out of embarrassment.

“Oh my God Y/N! Your neck was covered in hickeys!” Moriyama’s s/o squealed, making you want to dash out of there.

“So you and Kise got it on last night huh? Go on, give us the details!” Kasamatsu’s s/o urged excitedly as they nudged your shoulder with their elbow.

“Details? It was nothing,” you said nervously, desperately searching your head for a way to change the topic.

“Nothing? Y/N, those marks were plastered all across your neck! He barely left any spots untouched,” Moriyama’s s/o laughed.

“Well, what do you want me to say? We were just messing around,” you shrugged. “Can we please move on—“

“Hey guys,” Kise chimed in, cutting you off with a kiss on your cheek. You looked around in confusion and realised that he was on his water break and began to prepare yourself for what’s to come. “What’re you talking about?”

“Well, Y/N was just showing us those marks on their neck—“

“I wasn’t showing them to you! You saw them against my will,” you corrected as you buried your face in your hands.

“Shhh, seems like you two had fun last night,” Kasamatsu’s s/o giggled.

“Oh those! I kind of got carried away, didn’t I? Sorry, Y/N-cchi,” Kise said sweetly as he wrapped his arms around you apologetically.

“We were trying to get Y/N to spill some details but they’re too embarrassed,” Kasamatsu’s s/o said as you continued to pray that this hell of a conversation would end. You hated how charismatic Kise was sometimes, because it often ended with him slipping into conversations like this so easily and just fuelling the fire.

“Embarrassed? Y/N-cchi, you don’t need to be embarrassed. I left those marks there for a reason— you should be proud of them!” Kise sang as your friends nodded along, a smug look on both of their faces.

“Ryouta please stop,” you whined as he only hugged you tighter.

“But those marks look nice on—“

“Captain! Hasn’t this water break gone on long enough?” You called out to Kasamatsu all of a sudden.

“Oi Kise, get your ass back on the court!” Kasamatsu yelled back in reply, causing Kise to sigh.

“Why’d you do that?” Kise pouted.

“Because I like watching you practice,” you said innocently. “You’re playing a game now aren’t you? Why don’t you go score a cool dunk for me?”

Just like that, Kise immediately lit up. “I’ll score the best dunk you’ve ever seen!” He said cheerily before turning back to your friends. “Take it easy on Y/N-cchi, it’s my fault after all.”

“Yeah yeah, we’re just joking around for the fun of it. It’s not funny if it goes on for too long anyways,” Moriyama’s s/o replied reassuringly.

“Great. Thanks,” Kise grinned. Just as you thought he was going to leave, he suddenly leaned in close to your ear and whispered, “You know, those marks on your neck really do look pretty— I might just make some more later.”

And like it was nothing, Kise strutted off confidently, leaving you with a face that couldn’t be more flustered even if you tried.

Aomine

It wasn’t unusual for you to have marks all over your neck since everyone had already gotten used to it. The first few times the team and their significant others noticed them, there were a lot of questions and reactions, though they were mainly directed at Aomine so you didn’t mind all too much. Of course, you’d still try to hide them as much as you could, but makeup is expensive and to be spending so much on concealing marks that would just appear again within a week or so seemed quite redundant to you. You also tried to tell Aomine to limit the marks to places that clothes could cover, and while he’d agree beforehand, he’d often end up getting carried away and doing what he wants.

It was the day of an important preliminary match for Touou and you met up with the significant others of Wakamatsu and Imayoshi at the stands of the arena after wishing your boyfriend good luck. Upon greeting them, their eyes were immediately directed to your neck— which you expected. You tried covering the marks up with makeup but they were still quite visible. Furthermore, it was the summer so a scarf or turtleneck was not an option— you weren’t going to suffer for something this trivial.

“Y/N, did you even try to cover that up?” Wakamatsu’s s/o asked with a sigh.

“I did! I think I need to get some better foundation, honestly,” you groaned as you took a seat next to them.

“My God, that Aomine really doesn’t quit huh? Even before a big game?” Imayoshi’s s/o asked.

“Somehow he’s even more riled up before games. I really don’t know how he has the energy,” you sighed.

“Don’t act like you don’t like it,” Imayoshi’s s/o said with a smirk.

“Well, of course I like it. Just let me complain, will you?” you joked.

“Haven’t you tried telling him to take it easy with the marks?” Wakamatsu’s s/o questioned.

“I have— many times. But he never listens.”

“Yeah, I don’t think he’d ever really listen to things like that,” Imayoshi’s s/o said.

“That’s just Daiki for you,” you shrugged.

“Well, was last night fun?” Wakamatsu’s s/o asked suggestively, nudging your arm.

“Yeah it was,” you said, beginning to feel slightly flustered as your mind wandered back to moments from the night before.

“Oooh, go on, give us the details,” Imayoshi’s s/o said excitedly.

“No way. That’s only for me to know,” you said firmly. “Besides, I’m way too tired to be going into details anyway,” you added as you let out an exhausted yawn.

“My God, how long were you up till?” Wakamatsu’s s/o asked.

“I don’t even remember— I think it was 2 a.m.?” you guessed, cursing Aomine and his stamina for keeping you up so late.

“Don’t you think he’d be too tired to play today then?” Wakamatsu’s s/o asked.

“He’s an idiot, but he wouldn’t be up so late unless he knew he could handle it,” you replied.

The topic quickly died out once the game began, and all of you were so consumed with it that all of you’d completely forgotten about the marks. And of course, Touou won with a massive lead— with Aomine scoring almost half of the points. He truly was incredible, you thought.

Akashi

You were often very good at hiding marks left behind by Akashi, but there was this one morning where you were in such a rush that you had no time to cover them up. So as you headed to the gym to watch Akashi’s practice like you usually would, he seemed to notice the red spots on your neck. As a smile spread across his face, he took his jacket off and handed it to you.

“Sorry for rushing you so much; I don’t like being late. Here, wear this so you can cover those up for the most part,” he said, eyeing your neck with a look that had no traces of regret whatsoever.

You took his jacket and zipped it all the way up so that it would cover your neck. “Shouldn’t you be apologising for leaving the marks instead?”

“I wouldn’t have left them if I thought I’d have to apologise for it. They look quite pretty on your neck if I’m being honest—I’m just saving you from being interrogated,” he explained coolly as you neared the gym.

“Well, I have a feeling that it’s gonna happen whether I like it or not.”

And just as you expected, when you got to the gym and met up with Mayuzumi, Hayama and Nebuya’s s/os, you were greeted with a few strange looks. “What’s up with the jacket, Y/N?” Mayuzumi’s s/o questioned.

“Oh, Sei gave it to me because I was feeling chilly,” you lied with a shrug.

“You don’t usually zip it up all the way though. It looks weird,” Hayama’s s/o pointed out. You didn’t realise that they were this observant until then.

“Y/N’s probably hiding something under there then,” Nebuya’s s/o said jokingly, almost as if they knew exactly what was going on but tried to pass it off as something humorous.

“What could I possibly be hiding?” you played along, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” Nebuya’s s/o said suggestively, still clearly joking.

“Could it possibly be hickeys?” Mayuzumi’s s/o guessed, causing the group to break out into a chorus of hoots as you genuinely questioned whether they had psychic abilities.

“What? Why would you say that?” you laughed, still determined not to give it away.

“I want to say that I did some incredible detective work, but there are still marks poking out ever so slightly from your neck that gave it away,” Mayuzumi’s s/o explained, drawing all the attention towards your neck as the other two tried to spot it.

You let out a sigh, “Alright, you got me. I didn’t have time to cover them up this morning.”

“Let us see them!” Hayama’s s/o said a little too excitedly.

“Why do you need to see them?”

“It’s the prize for our investigative abilities,” Nebuya’s s/o said.

Rolling your eyes, you reluctantly unzipped the jacket, revealing the bright red and purple marks spread across your neck and earning a gasp from all three of them.

“Akashi really doesn’t hold back, does he?” Hayama’s s/o giggled.

“Sounds about right— it’s Akashi Seijuro we’re talking about after all,” Mayuzumi’s s/o commented.

“So, did you have fun last night, Y/N?” Nebuya’s s/o grinned.

“Well, yeah,” you mumbled, beginning to feel a little embarrassed as you zipped the jacket back up.

“There are a lot of marks though. Is he really that rough?” Mayuzumi’s s/o asked, a slight hint of concern in their voice.

“Kind of? I don’t know. It feels weird talking about it. But he has his moments,” you answered, not knowing how much you should be sharing with them.

“He just seems so cool and collected that I can’t believe he did that much damage, you know?” Nebuya’s s/o explained.

“Yeah I get what you mean,” Hayama’s s/o nodded along as all of their heads turned to take a look at Akashi, who was instructing his team about something.

“Can we please move on from this topic, it’s weird,” you said quickly, not liking that they were all probably thinking about Akashi in a whole different way now.

They were somehow quite understanding of your request and the conversation quickly moved on to a different subject matter so that whatever happened between you and Akashi remained between the two of you— and you hoped that it would stay that way.

#kuroko no basket #kurokos basketball #kuroko no basket x reader #aomine daiki #kuroko tetsuya #kise ryouta #akashi seijuro #aomine daiki x reader #kise ryota x reader #akashi seijuro x reader #kuroko tetsuya x reader #knb #generation of miracles

[plsimsuchasimp]

i’m sorry (ft: sugawara).

by request: “Hi!!!! Okay im so glad your requests are open - could I please request some angst with Sugawara? Where the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? Then maybe the reader and Suga fight and then reader gets hurt or something (maybe a car accident) and when the Karasuno team finds out, Suga is devastated and goes to the hospital and tell the reader that he loves them?? Thank you!! ❤️” -anon

yes anon i’m happy to do this- i kinda changed up the prompt a lil bit so i’m sorry about that but i hope this measures up to your standards! (i’m ridiculously soft for suga so this makes sense)

genre: sadness (literal tears were shed in the process of making this)

ft: sugawara koushi x reader

warnings: car crash, fighting, cursing, hospitalization, death

wc: 2k

“Y/n, why are you so upset? I get that you’re concerned, and I’m grateful for that, but she’s genuinely a good person and I’m serious about her!” Suga walks away from you, his back turned, shoulders raised slightly in his sweater. You can sense his frustration, his confusion, but you don’t care. His face is pouty, lip sticking out ever so slightly, and you know you can’t look at him or you won’t be able to keep yourself from kissing him right then and there.

The thing is, you know she’s a good person. And that’s what hurts. See, you’ve been in love with Sugawara Koushi since the day you met him at the bus stop five years ago, on a hot summer day with a butterfly in his hair.

You can’t stop him from getting a new girlfriend, and you know it’s selfish of you to hope he likes you the way you like him, to hold on to him for all these years.

Sometimes when it’s late, you let yourself drift into your memories. The spring days when he would take you hiking, out into the mountains to show you his favorite spots, the times when your stomachs hurt from laughing at the dirty jokes he found off of random places on the internet, the rainy moments and baking cookies when it just seemed calm. With Suga, you felt at home like nowhere else. 

Now, your eyes sting unfairly, and you turn away from him as he glares towards you, brow furrowed. Struggling to keep your voice even, you say, “I know, okay Kou? I just- I don’t know, she gives me bad vibes.”

You know he doesn’t mean to be rude, but when he scoffs, your heart squeezes just a bit and tears prick your eyes. “You’re telling me to call off a whole relationship because she gives you bad vibes? You did this with all of my exes, too!” Suga sighs, hands on his hips. “You know you’re my best friend, but honestly, y/n, this has to stop. You can’t control my life!” 

He’s right. You know he’s right, and that’s the harsh thing about it. You want him all to yourself- everything about him is entrancing, intoxicating, familiar. Jealousy is a bitch.

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

At this point, his jaw drops open at the sheer audacity of your remark. “I can’t do this with you today.” He throws up his hands and sits on the bed, making it clear he doesn’t really want to talk anymore.

Suga never really fights with you. He teases endlessly, but he always stops himself before he really hurts you, and the fights between the two of you are always calmer on his side. He’s usually the first to apologize, but it seems this is a sticking point for the two of you.

“Well? Go!” As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he regrets it. You flinch backwards at his words, and he doesn’t miss the unmistakable glint of tears in your eyes as you walk out of the room.

“Fine, I guess I will!” As soon as you’re outside, you cover your mouth with your hand, your vision blurred from large drops threatening to spill from your eyelashes. You muffle your sobs with the sleeve of a sweatshirt Suga lent you, and it just makes you cry harder when you breathe in his slight cologne. 

He wasn’t going to let her go this time. You missed your chance.

You’re running, but where to? As soon as your thoughts stop spinning, your feet freeze, and you glance around you. Shaky breaths escape you as you duck your head and attempt to cross the street, questioning looks from passerby making your cheeks heat up. 

All of a sudden, you hear a car horn and freeze to see a car speeding towards you, out of control. The last thing you see before everything goes black is a child pointing at you, and you almost laugh at the incredulity of the situation. Then you black out on impact.

Back at Suga’s home, he sits in his bed, running his fingers through his silky hair. He curses under his breath, already hating the feeling. 

He hates when the only person he’s ever truly loved is mad at him. 

Honestly, Koushi can’t fathom why he keeps getting other people to date him, momentary distractions from his everlasting affection for you. You, the only person who’s there for him when he’s hurting, the only real friend to stay near him through everything, the only person he fell in love with on first sight. He wanted to be with you, but he didn’t want to ruin this was. 

Better to be certain friends with you and never get what he truly wanted than to try and lose you completely.

Suga picks up the phone to text you when he receives a call from an unfamiliar number, marked as the hospital of your district.

“Hello?"

“Is this Sugawara Koushi?” The female voice on the other end of the line asks.

“Yes, is everything okay?” He responds, curious as to why the hospital is calling him in the middle of the day.

“Well, we have Y/N L/N here, and you’re listed as one of their emergency contacts. Would you mind coming to the hospital to fill out some paperwork?”

Immediately, his world freezes. “W-what did you say?”

“I said, Y/N L/N is in the hospital and we need you to come in and see them.” She’s patient with him, voice even and calm, clearly used to people in shock from news of their loved ones. “They were involved in a car accident.”

He nods, momentarily forgetting she can’t see him. “Yeah, I’m on my way.” 

The line clicks, and he sits there for only a minute before hurrying down to his car, grabbing the keys and starting the car. He seems to forget basic movements, mind consumed only with thoughts of you. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” he muttered, edging above the speed limit on the road. He was tempted to honk at someone, but refrains from it, knowing it won’t help with the turmoil of emotions he was feeling.

Then, it hit him. This was his fault. He almost stopped the car in the middle of the road, throat closing as guilt washed over him. Koushi didn’t know you’d take it so hard, didn’t mean for it to come off that harshly.

He arrived at the hospital, and as he walked in, the receptionist looked up at him.

“Sugawara Koushi?” 

“Yes,” he said, and watched the smile slowly fade from her face. He noticed she tried to hide it, ducking her head, but it was too late. “Are they- are they going to be okay?” he gulped as she didn’t respond.

“Room 208,” she said curtly, “You should probably go in.”

The lights seemed to blur into each other as Suga practically ran to your room. Every footstep seemed to take forever, travel only a few centimeters forward. He couldn’t get there fast enough, accidentally bumping into the wall and muttering a hushed “sorry” to it.

He arrived. The door was almost too heavy, or maybe it was just the fear making his limbs heavy as lead.

There you lay, and it was worse than he thought.  Tubes of all sorts trailed from your body to things around the bed, crowding and seeming to close you in. Scratches ran down your cheek and there was dried blood on your hairline, streaking down your face. The breath fell from his throat and he stood in the doorway, paralyzed. 

This could not be happening. 

One look and he could tell you weren’t going to be okay. An IV drip led into your left arm, and you were unconscious, so fragile, so angelic. It looked as if you were only sleeping, like the countless times you’d snuggled into Suga’s shoulder in the warm summer nights, staring at the blanket of glittering stars far above. The ones in your eyes, though, outshone them all. 

When you slept, you always seemed so peaceful, so comforted, but now your brow was slightly furrowed, your lips drained of color and slightly parted. Even in this state, you were still the most beautiful person he’d ever seen.

Shakily, he made his way to the chair and sat down in it. He tried to swallow, but his throat was dry, and tears were dripping down his face before he could wipe them away. A choked sob escaped him as he reached out his hand, hovering over your limp one. 

He took your hand, and he hunched over to feel how cold it was. Your hands were always colder than his, which made him a perfect match for you. Never before, though, had he felt this ice. 

Suga’s shoulders began to shake, and he clutched your hand, silently begging you not to leave, please please please don’t leave me, i don’t know if i can survive without you. Of course, there was no response but the steady beep of the heart monitor, the only thing reassuring him that you were still there. 

Shaking, he brought your hand to his lips, barely brushing them against your knuckles. 

“Y/n, I’m so sorry.” Whispered words fell gently from his lips, trying to stay composed for you. “Please stay with me. Please don’t leave.” His tone rises, voice breaking in desperation. “P-please.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He rocked back and forth, holding your hand as if it was the only thing tying him down. “I-I love you.”

There. He said it, those three words he’d wanted to say since the day he saw you smile for the first time. Hopelessly, madly, endlessly in love with you, only you. 

When you didn’t respond, he let himself sob, let the pain overtake him. Hot, salty tears spilled onto your hand, and he silently wished for a sign, a movement, anything to show that you weren’t gone just yet.

In that moment, he whispered everything he wanted to say to you, a thousand words choking him and clogging his throat to the point where he couldn’t breathe anymore.

The doctor came in, shutting the door silently behind him. “Sugawara-”

“Call me Suga.” His voice was quiet, reserved, threatening to break.

“I’m afraid y/n isn’t going to make it.” The doctor sighed, mercifully pretending not to notice Suga’s muffled cry. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“You’re joking, right?” Suga raised his head, puffy, red eyes desperate. “Please- tell me you’re joking.” The silence from the doctor told him otherwise, and Suga felt his heart shatter in that instant.

He squeezed your hand, and just as he did, the heart monitor stopped beeping, a flat tone emitting from it. He couldn’t stop the heartbroken cry from spilling from his mouth, his breath stolen by the endless constriction of guilt and grief in his chest. 

He stayed there for another two hours, crying over your hand limp in his grasp. When Daichi arrived at the hospital to drive him home, he didn’t want to leave. 

Suga stared out of the car window, numb. It was impossible- the world couldn’t be this cruel. 

It’s your fault, your fault, your fault, the voice in his head whispered. The broken sobs that spilled out of him hurt, stabbed at his breathing, but he didn’t care. It was his fault that you were gone, forever. 

The rest of the day passed in a haze, the sun setting with flared colors that you would have loved. The stars were brilliant, but Suga couldn’t look at them. His pillow smelled like you, and everywhere he looked had some imprint, some memory of you. You were the only person he’d ever love, and you had been stolen from the world in an instant.

In the months afterwards, nothing was the same. He saw you everywhere, expecting to see your texts pop up on his phone, accidentally ordered your drink at the boba place you would always go to. 

At the funeral, his stiff black suit seemed awkward, but you always said he looked handsome in one. That was the last time he got to see your face besides pictures, the fading memory of the person who loved him for who he was.

the person who he would love for the rest of his life.

you’re an angel in my eyes.

a/n: tbh this is probably one of the most painful things i’ve written so far suga im so sorry also THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR 50 FOLLOWERS ITS CRAZY i finished this at 2am i’m going to be so sad if it flops <\3

#sugawara koushi #suga x reader #sugawara x y/n #koushi sugawara #sugawara angst #sugawara sadness #i'm literally so sorry this is very sad #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu angst #haikyuu sad #suga x y/n #suga x you #sugawara x reader

[greatnessordeath]

Come let's watch the rain as it's falling down

Tags: mature, aged up characters, swearing, alcohol, blood, pining, Wordcount: 4.7k

Notes: As I mentioned in a earlier post: this is the first chap of my wip slow burn Bakugou x reader fic (contains Halloween snippet). The future chaps will be posted on ao3 only (i think... I dunno. I like tumblr, but im quite confused with how to post longer fics ?) So i'd be superduper happy if you swing by :) Read it on ao3

Do not repost. Minors do not interact please

Chapter 1: After work obstacles Finally it's the end of the day. The glassdoors slide shut behind you and the cool night air embraces your figure outside the hospital.

You sigh exhausted and massage your aching neck. The overtime has been piling up lately and you’re not sure if you’re still a functioning individual. You could pass as a zombie right on the spot without any further disguise. Your skin is pale, the dark circles will soon become parents to a new pair of cute baby circles and your h/c hair lacks shine.

Then so be it, you think cynical to yourself. You don't care how you look. At the risk of sounding pathetic - it's all worth it.   You work as an intern at trauma surgery. Your days are a rush. A roller coaster ride, a box of chocolates, a lottery - whatever comparison you bring up, it all leads down to one truth: you never know what awaits you. Injured civilians, hurt heroes, the daily grind of accidents and disease and on top messed up quirks. But it doesn’t matter what you get, as long as you’re able to help.

You’re not gifted with a healing quirk like many of your colleagues who pursue the same dream of becoming a doctor. Your quirk is useful to say the least, but far away from special, or powerful. Your eyes ignored the physics of light which made it possible for you to see in the dark. That's it. You wanted to make a difference for people and fortunately you didn’t need a quirk to do so.

Your breath condenses visibly in the cold outside in small white clouds. The air is crisp and you love it. It clears your head and you can practically feel the weight lifting off of your tense shoulders. Despite that, you still pull the collar of your jacket closer to your neck. You can't wait to take a hot shower, wash off the stinging smell of disease and disinfectant, and bury yourself under your covers.

You check the time only to see that - again - it’s past midnight. When your eyes pass the calendar indication on your watch, your stomach knots in discomfort. It's only two weeks till Christmas eve. Maybe everything will be easier to bear when you have to endure the judging looks of your family as a mindless zombie, who knows? You'd just have to work harder to indifferently endure her nagging questions about your personal life.

‘Wow brain. Is this everything you can come up with?’ Another deep sigh leaves your lips. ‘ No, I can't, even if I wanted to. If I work any more, I’ll fall over ,’ you think matter-of-factly.

You’re well aware that repression is a bad tactic for dealing with pent-up feelings, but you’re only human. One, so desperate to seriously consider the zombie option for a moment and indeed one who’d rather volunteer 70 hours a week to avoid the stupid family dinner.

Of course it wasn't always like that but the couple years after your graduation passed so quickly. You threw yourself into work, finally you were ready to gain practical experience, after years of drilling. You made it to an internship at a well known clinic in Musutafu and you’re more than proud to be this privileged. You want to exert, make yourself worth the job and be the best you. You pushed your limits on a regular basis.

Although you never wanted to be a hero who fights villains, you adopted the motto of the hero academy not far away. PLUS ULTRA. Never give up, move on, go beyond . You burn so hot for your goals that your own moroseness makes you cringe occasionally. But you always smile it away. Of course, the lack of time that came with working long shifts and overtime resoluted in a puny social life. Work became your life much to the dismay of your Mom. When you cautiously dropped the info that you're planning to work through Christmas completely this year your Mom had looked at you like a deer in headlights.

At least you could talk yourself out with the fact that colleagues with children were preferred. But that usually only opened the door for the next dispute. Your desire to have children. Urghhh. Your only valid desires were the regular consumption of fudgy brownies and a good fuck. You feel the urge to hit your head against a lonely street lamp as you shuffle despondently from the clinic's huge parking lot and turn right onto the main street.

You like the quiet darkness of the night. It's the opposite of the hectic everyday life in the hospital and you appreciate the change. Given to your quirk you've always been more of a night owl than an early bird. When you walk down the stairs to the subway tunnel after a few minutes, you can already hear the rumble of the train. You’re lucky to catch it without waiting. The familiar screeching of the brakes is the only sound far and wide. You are often the only person on the platform - and today is no different.

You get in and sit down at a window place. You spread out your legs in the empty compartment and your sore feet enjoy the relief a lot. You share a whole wagon with only three more people. They are typing lost in thought on their phones, listening to music or already dozing off.

You look at your sunken face in the reflection of the glass pane and can practically hear your mother's reproachful voice. Your mind wanders to your latest phone call and replays.

“Hi, how are you, hun?”

“I’m fine.”

“Well, it doesn't sound like it. ...Extra hours again?”

“Yes. My colleague caught the flu so I'm covering up for him.” A small pause stretches between you and you already know what's about to come when your Mom speaks again.

“Would you listen to me for a sec and don't throw a tantrum, kay?” Your silence is approval enough to get her going.

“Your voice always sounds so worn out when I call you and… I’m worrying. Don't you think you’d need a break, too?”

“Mom, I told you I'm just a little tired. There's no need to worry.” You try your best to sound persuasive - like always without the desired effect. “But that's what Moms do! You’re my child, so of course I worry... I mean you can't keep doing this forever. You're young and beautiful - now's the time to live! You know? You should throw yourself out there and enjoy your life instead of giving your best years away like this.” You huff at that. “Drop it, okay? I choose this life by myself. Can you please stop criticizing me every single time about it? I am not having this discussion with you again.” “Y/n. This is not about your profession. This is about you working so hard for others while ignoring your own needs. Even you have to rest at some point! Think about it, hun. How will you help others, if your own body is collapsing?”

“You’re totally going overboard. It's not like that. And the last time I checked I was completely fine with sewing people together, but don’t mind me.” You retort sarcastically with instant regret. You’ve had this so often, you stopped counting. She always manages to flip the switch and you hate yourself for the lack of control. You don’t want to escalate things so you try to backpedal. “Listen, can we please stop talking about this?“ “You’re incorrigible. Stubborn as a mule.” she determines. “Stubborn like Dad, you mean.” You wear a weary smile and a twitch pinches your heart. You know she thought about him, too, based on the sigh you hear on the other side of the phone. “At least make sure you eat properly,” her tone softened audibly. “How am I ever going to have grandchildren, if your bony ass is useless to attract a handsome doctor?” “Mom!” “What? ... Come on, don’t make a fuss.” It was meant to be a joke but it only makes you swallow uncomfortable. Those statements  of her are pressuring you, no matter how lax they were said. You sure did wish for a change of subject, but not to open the next tinderbox. “I… I need to hang up now. It was nice hearing from you.“ “Promise me to take care of yourself, alright?” You hum in agreement. “Love you, hun.” “Love you, too. Bye Mom.“ You reciprocate the empty phrase with equivalent affection.

---

You lean your forehead against the cold glass and take a deep breath. You don't want to think about it, you just want to go home, call it a day.

... seven more stations. Then change and four more to go. You allow yourself to zone out and watch the endless blackness of the underground pass by. There is something soothing about it and you manage to collect yourself as you close your eyes.

When the train slowly pulls into the next stop, the doors open automatically and a small breeze refreshes the musty air. You barely notice, because you’re so used to it. You’re trying to remind yourself to buy wrapping paper when you’re going to go for groceries tomorrow morning as a noise disturbs your thoughts.

Suddenly you hear loud rumbling and your eyes search confused for the origin of the commotion. A dark figure gallops breathless down the escalator to the platform at a mad pace.

Well, the trains do arrive relatively unevenly at night - facts - but to be in such a hurry seems exaggerated to you.

The guy hastily takes two steps at a time and carries a large backpack that bounces up and down. You’re left to wonder what or who he might be running off, as he dares a big jump at the end of the stairs, but terribly fails. You can see how the extra weight of the backpack affects his center of gravity so that he stumbles and hits the asphalt hard. Based on the way his foot bends under his weight, you assume he has at least a fractured ankle if not worse.

Your helper instinct is activated immediately.

In an instant you jump to your feet and hurry to the open door without hesitation when abruptly a detonation shakes the underground. An incredibly loud bang roars through the tunnel and everybody gasps in surprise as the floor vibrates slightly under their feet. Dazzling lights blind your view and you put a protective hand in front of your eyes.

'What the...?'

You get the uneasy feeling that something is wrong.

"Excuse me, may I help you?" You offer to the fella on the floor when your vision clears again.

Your question doesn't seem to get through to him. But it shakes him out of his paralyzed state. Without losing much time, the guy gets up again. With hazel eyes wide with fear, he looks back at the escalator.

With your hands reassuringly raised you take more steps towards him. "Sir? Are you hurt? I'm a med-" you try again, but are cut off by another voice.

"You can't escape me, Extra!" "Out of the way!" The backpack guy yells and rushes towards you. Is he chased by a villain? Please no!

Just as this thought buzzes through your head, a new figure appears on the platform.

You freeze when an unmistakeable spiky blonde emerges from the moving staircase and a burnt smell fills the air.

Dynamight?!

“Still tryin’ to escape me, huh,” the hero shouts and takes up the chase with his signature explosion drive.

Realization hits you hard, but it's too late. When Dynamight is the pursuer, this will logically make the other guy the criminal. ‘Shit!’ Speaking of it - realization isn’t the only thing that hits you. The delinquent pushes you aside with a pained expression to get in the subway and you hit the ground. White dots explode in front of your eyes as the pain shoots through your head. The impact is so hard it even drives the air out of your lungs. You’re conscious but you feel strangely foreign in your own body. ‘What’s wrong with me? My natural reflexes did nothing! Wait… I can't move!’

You grimace with strain or at least you try to but your muscles won’t obey. ‘ Did he use his quirk on me?’ You can only speculate.

Out of the corner of your eye you can see how Dynamight's silhouette hurries past you.

"Eijiro ...!" He shouts urgently as his fiery eyes flicker over you for a split second.

"Yes! Go get him, Katsuki!" screams the redhead in response.

You didn't recognize another hero entering the subway. It must have slipped your attention as you were caught up with the whole situation. Red Riot kneels down by your side and looks you up and down for injuries. “Don’t worry, you’re safe now. Did he touch you?” You try to stir again, but every inch of your sore body feels so incredibly heavy. The pinky finger doesn't even twitch when you try to move it.

“… ca … n't m ...ove”, you choke out with wide eyes. His gaze softens and his kind eyes look at you knowingly. “Ah, thought so. It’ll be alright. He used his quirk on you. We assume he can paralyze people. But it won’t last long.” He tries his best to keep you calm. “Everybody get off NOW!” Dynamight barks in his usual grim voice and it echoes painfully in your head. You try to look out for him, but your field of view is too limited - and you’re petrified anyway. The few passengers shuffle out of the train immediately with angsty faces.

Red Riot takes charge and directs them to gather in a safe distance to the potential danger zone. He advises them to wait and faces you again. “You can’t stay here. I have to pick you up.” “Goo h… heel ...lllp ‘im?” Your eyes dart to the train again. “Trust me, this is a pushover.” He smiles genuinely, “I'd like to have you safe, just in case.”

You don’t protest because you can’t. The way he picks you up makes you blush lightly. Being carried bridal style by a stranger stirs something in you. The warmth of his bare chest is welcoming, the sensible heartbeat soothing against your torso. He's a hero - probably doing these kinds of things on a daily basis and albeit his very respectful touch, you feel silly. Hanging in his arms like a sack of spuds isn’t exactly how you like to picture yourself. “Ah shit. You’re bleeding.” He states concerned as soon as he notices the small red blotch on the back of your head.

A faint waft of hair gel tingles your nose, as he sits you down on a bench. He tugs at you to make sure you won’t fall. “Let me have a closer look…” He examines your wound diligently and smiles at ease. “You’re lucky. it's nothing but a scratch.”

He basically radiates off pure safety with his gentle behaviour. You do feel taken care of and it's nice in a way. But what bothers you, is the mere but heavy fact, that you’re absolutely helpless. You hate it. You don’t want to cause someone else trouble and the loss of control makes you uncomfortable.

“I suggest that you consistently try to move a finger so you won’t miss the end of the paralysis.” He says assuringly.

How the hell can he be as cool as ice while his partner is having a serious mission? What if something unexpected happens? What if-

He laughs at you and questing faces turn in your direction. “Your brows are already knitting again, I can tell it won’t take much longer.” “With all due respect, Sir, how can you stand here laughing and let your colleague fight all alone?” An older man basically voices your thoughts. You would have picked your words more sensitive, because as soon as it's spoken it appears a rude question. But the redheads' smile only widens. “That's easy. Because I trust him.” The small group of civilians including your muted self react startled. It's not uncommon for heroes to split tasks, but still... “Hm. What’s wrong with helping him anyway?” “See, he trusts me, too. He fights preferably when he doesn't have to worry about the safety of people who may be at risk. This is the best way for him to focus on the villains. My quirk is hardening, which I can use to ward off any harm they might be throwing at us. By getting you out of the line, Dynamight has the best starting point to apprehend the villain. As far as we know, this guys’ quirk requires a melee situation with body contact and Dynamight - unlike me - benefits from this. So we’re using this to our advantage. Plus, we’re at a dead end. He has nowhere to go and I think he hurt his ankle when he jumped the staircase earlier. So this is no real match up, believe me.” There is definitely some truth to his words. But you can’t help but wonder about his confidence. “Nevertheless, please stay behind me at any cost and be aware of the ones around you until this is over.” Fortunately enough it seemed like the guy - you refuse to call him a villain - didn’t want to harm people in the first place. Yes, he pushed you, but only because you were standing in his way. He appealed insecure, even scared, not coldblooded or calculating. God knows hurting people wasn’t his main goal. He must have been pretty desperate for an escape if he thought a subway appeared to be a good idea - with two heroes right on his ass. Obviously one doesn't plan on getting caught, when about to commit a crime, you guess. You don’t know enough to judge... Maybe opportunity made the thief in this case. You sit and wonder, only vaguely paying attention to what happens in the subway. The wagon with Dynamight is at least 50 metres away from you and it's unlikely silent. Naturally he can’t just blow up the train in order to catch the guy, but you can’t really picture him talk him out otherwise. ...It has been a long time since you were so close to a heroic operation, let alone be involved in the middle of it as a “victim”. Whenever you catch a glimpse of him in between people your heartbeat accelerates. He still is as hot as ever - if not hotter. He wears the fucking crown out of self-confidence with even more ease. The years made him broader, steps dripping of assurance, clear-cut features handsome as ever with those sharp crimson eyes. Dynamight … why he of all people? Like an old friend, a notable memory visits you again. You only remember fragments of that evening, except this one encounter. You can see it crystal clear as if it was yesterday. Back then, you were in med school and you had passed an important exam the day before. You had promised your brother that the two of you would go out together like in the old days. It was fun. At least for you. To this day your brother teases you about it and you can’t help but blush every time when he mockingly rants how shameless you’ve been.

---

Halloween eve, years ago

There's heroes and villains everywhere. It's not as packed as it was a few hours ago, but still the streets were roamed by many people. Despite Halloween being supposed to be creepy, most people plainly dressed up as their favorite heroes instead of villains. So a hero's popularity was pretty much measured by how many doppelgangers were walking around.

Needless to say, All Might fans dominated the street scene, totally refusing Endeavor as new Number One Hero. Bakugou saw loads of Froppys among the kids earlier that day. Even dumb Pickachu had fans. Seems like they’re making the best of the provisional license so far.

Unlike his colleagues, Bakugou savours the privilege of his rather bad image. People always hold a fair distance to Dynamight when he's patrolling. Especially on Halloween - nobody wanted to be the idiot who got explosions in their face for mistaking him for a clad friend. It felt inequitable. He was trying to improve his temper - but hands down - he got a long way to go. On the other side he was happy that there would be no pesky fan disturbances like selfies, autographs and chitchat.

Anyways, here he is now, walking the streets with drunk All Mights stumbling home from their night out. The smell of sugar, booze and happy chatter of the people enjoying themselves filled the chilly autumn air.

Bakugou can't help but think of the perfect cover this night would provide for crime. It would be so easy to dress up as literally anyone and hide their real identity. Piece of cake to get lost in the crowd with dozens of doubles, an opportunity he sure wouldn’t let pass if he were a villain.

Because the agencies are aware of that fact, too, they would double the patrols around Halloween. So he won’t let his guard down, even if there were only a few minutes of his shift left.

He continues to observantly strives the streets, always side eying the darker alleys, left behind candy cracking under his soles, as-

“Oh my god, look at you!” someone exclaimed loudly in front of him. In a split second his crimson eyes shift to the source of the sound.

Hawks and Shoto were standing arm in arm in front of him. Hawks had one gloved hand tightly wrapped around Shotos waist and he obviously had trouble balancing their extra weight. Red fluffy plush wings were strapped on his back and the eyeliner was on fleek. With the glasses and an ocher coat it all came together to a solid costume.

IcyHot on the other hand, was way too curvy to match the original. Bakugou could see h/c hair peek out underneath the heterochromatic wig and slender limbs being hugged perfectly in the familiar blue suit. The smile Fem-Shoto threw at him was somehow contagious.

~

You broke away from Hawks and staggered towards him with shaky knees. Of course you slipped and in a quick reflex Bakugou stretched out his arms to prevent you from falling.

You giggled at that and looked at him in awe. The orangey light of the street lamps gave his ashy hair a saintly halo. You shamelessly took him in and your eyes lingered disrespectfully long on his bare biceps. He halfway expects you to stretch out a hand and stiffens slightly at the thought.

“That's by far the best costume I’ve seen today”, you blurt out, “I swear, Dynamight is sooo hot! Could blow me up any time~”

Bakugou was caught by surprise and lifted a sceptical brow at the statement.

“Shushhh Onee-chan, you’re embarrassing,” whined Hawks with a hand on his neck. ”Come on now, I’ve gotta get you home somehow.”

You weren’t listening at all and grabbed one of his gauntlets to examine it closely.

“Wow, how’d you get them so realistic?” you asked with big eyes full of admiration.

“Oi hands off, Half’n’Half!” he growled dismissively. Resolute but careful not to make you trip again he drew them from your hands.

“Sooo mean~”

“Tch”, he clicked his tongue at you annoyingly.

You lifted your gaze and met his piercing eyes. He noticed your dilated pupils and the familiar smell of beer and smoke radiating off of your clothes. Your cheeks were rosy and glowing, the e/c of your eyes standing out to the red paint on your face.

“Damn you really take this shit seriously, do you? You into roleplay or somethin’?”

“Jeez, y/n stop it!!! I’m so, so sorry…” said the Hawksguy in an apologizing manner shifting his feet in discomfort but not daring to come any nearer to Bakugou. At least he seemed sober enough to recognise him.

"Don’t tell me what to do!” you snapped angry at what appears to be your younger brother and Bakugou bites back a grin hearing one of his standard answers out of your pretty mouth.

As if you were only realising now that Bakugou was still holding you, you straightened your back and made the attempt to stand on your own. Neither your heels nor your knees seem reliable, but you were sticking out your chest confidently.

“I'm sure handsome over here would say something if I'm overstepping the bounds, right?”

You throw him your best charming smile, boldly laying a hand on his broad chest leaving him startled about your straightforwardness.

There was no denying that you were indeed buzzed … and going for it.

But albeit pretty privilege, he couldn’t let you touch him like this. The last thing he wanted was involuntarily taking advantage of your situation.

“Excuse me Shoto, but this is inappropriate for me in public,” he answers with a playful grin and removes your hand.

“Huh? And beating my ass at the sports festival in our first year wasn’t or what?” You retort with raised brows and a challenging grin. You lean in close and whisper in a low voice “We both know you wouldn't stand a chance against me now~”

Goosebumps erupt in his neck where a hint of your breath tickles his skin.

‘I kind of wanna give it a shot just to see you fail’ , he thinks to himself and enhances the effort to keep his gaze neutral.

Meanwhile Hawks face was a solid beet red and he was visibly at unease about what to do about the fact that his sister was blatantly obvious flirting with frickin Dynamight.

He desperately bowed a full ninety degrees and repeated his apologies. “God, no! Honestly I’m so sorry she’s …” he wildly gestures in your direction in a loss for words ”like this. It's my fault she's had too much. I was going to bring her home anyway. I'm sorry if we caused you trouble.”

“Nugget, I can hear you! You’re so rude!” You turned swaying to your brother and raised your forefinger in a lecturing manner. “I'm the older one and I am fully responsibly aware of my limits. So would you please just shut up when I'm trying to make a move here. You're supposed to be my wingman !”

Bakugou snorts amused at the awful pun and apparently Hawks looked like he could compete against Aizawa in an I-don’t-get-paid-enough-for-this-crap-staring-contest.

After a  moment of silence it's you who addresses Bakugou again: ”Soooo, what are you up to in a more private setting, Boomboy?”

Before he could answer, Hawks steps in and grabs you by the hand.

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this. If you were responsibly aware like you say, you would’ve recognised him. Just let him be, baka.”

You tried to laugh him off, but the seriousness in his voice lets your happy-drunk confidence falter. “I - I would have… recog...nised…” your eyes flicker from Bakugou to Hawks as realization finally hits your brain.

You blink multiple times. “Oh.”

The grin on Dynamights face splits further as your cheeks begin to bloom in a scarlet hue. “I… “ You squirm to find words but not a single tone leaves your lips. He thinks it's adorable and watches how you let yourself be pulled away. You don't fight back anymore.

“My pleasure, Shoto. I hope you get home safely.” He emphasizes ‘Shoto’ in a way that makes your stomach drop to your knees and you turn to face him.

“It's Y/n. And I stick to my words...”, you bite your bottom lip and your expression is a flustered mess. “...Dynamight is the hottest.” You grin sinisterly over your shoulder as your figures slowly disappear behind a flock of people.

The last thing Bakugou can hear is the protest of your brother.

“-- I swear I'm never going to make you pancakes ever again if you don't stop simping right now!”

“What is your goddamn problem, Nugget? You know, sometimes I wonder how you manage to walk with this massive branch up your ass.”

*smack* “Ouch! Hahaha”

--- Whenever you remember this night, a lewd smile sneaks its way to your face. Yes, you were shameless but you didn’t regret anything. You had spent countless evenings imagining what could have been. Who would have expected you to run into Dynamight? To your own demise you catch yourself regretting what you thought earlier about your zombie appearance. You suddenly wish you wouldn’t have been too lazy to do a touch up on your makeup. Seconds pass and you shrug off the awful shallow thought. Now is obviously not the time to be a thirsty bitch. It takes you a moment to notice that your shoulder blades actually lifted. Awestruck you feel a strange tingling washing over you. Your whole body feels like it's dipped in a buzzing beehive. The prickling fights back the cool numbness and you gasp in joy as your muscles obey you again. You luckily wiggle your toes as the last bit of stiffness disappears. You stand up to the small group of bystanders, but your blood circulation is still slow. Your knees threaten to give in, but a sturdy arm helps you stand. “Whoa, you okay already?” “Yeah, at least I thought so.” You slyly try a pressed smile to the observant redhead. “Good. Do me a favor and take it easy, okay? You should let the emergency doc check you for a concussion later.” “I probably should.” You close your eyes to fight back the spinning of your head. “You sure you’re okay?” “Ah yes. It just took me a moment, but I'm fine. Thank god this is over.” You sigh with relief, as you regain your composure and detach from the hero. “Screw god and rather thank me!”

#katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha fic #bakugou x reader #mha fanfic #slow burn #bakugou x you #first chapter

[alfredosauce50]

would you be down to do 2p china hc’s? im very curious on how you characterize him!

I’m down! I’m guessing you figured I had my own interpretation of the guy after I answered an ask saying I’d write for him. I really like 2p! China as a character, but I have to say, I haven’t properly written for him before. Nevertheless, I’ll give you my thoughts on him as a person!

2p! China Headcanons

Zao’s appearance doesn’t give away much of his personality. He’s got a bit of a baby face, and he has a sociable and pleasant demeanor for the most part. So if you didn’t know him well enough to see past those traits, you would be surprised at how shady he can be.

Appearance

Like his 1p counterpart, his dark brown hair goes past his shoulders and is tied back in a low ponytail. It’s pretty thin too, so it stays flat against his back. But that’s what makes it look so good. He isn’t the tallest guy out there, as he stands around 170cm or 5′7″. Doesn’t mean you can easily take him out in a fight, though. He’s quite slender, but he’s muscular and knows a few martial arts to boot.

He has a lot of tattoos, and he doesn’t try to hide them. He has dragons curling down his arms, as well as Chinese characters etched into his back. Most of the time, he wears traditional clothing, such as a sleeveless Tang suit, so his arms are exposed. It’s almost as if the colors black and red were made for him. And he knows it. So unless he’s having a bad day where he’ll go for a simple T-shirt, he likes to dress to impress. Not that he even needs to try.

He’s devilishly attractive, and the way he talks gets girls flocking to him.

Personality

Zao is very easy-going and open-minded. He’ll talk about anything with anyone. Everything is fascinating in a way, and nothing seems to faze him either. So he’s the type to question the most trivial things in life--or list drugs as casually as you would your favorite candy bars. It’s also difficult to shock him, or anger him. When life deals him a bad hand, or springs up inconveniences, he’ll go with the flow because that’s life. So unless something involves the person he likes, he keeps himself pretty level-headed.

With his willingness to talk about anything, comes his brutal honesty and bluntness. So sometimes, he’ll find himself offending people even if he never meant to. If he does this to women, they’ll slap him before storming off, leaving him in confusion at what he did wrong. But if he does this to men, he’ll have to be quick on his feet to escape a potential fight. Unlike a few other 2ps, he has a good temperament so he avoids violence, but he’ll resort to it if he absolutely has to.

Despite the careers he’s depicted to have, like being a drug-dealer, something in adult entertainment, night-life, or anything illegal, he has strong fraternal instincts. If somebody embodied the “big brother” trope, it would be him. He cares a lot for his younger siblings, and they look up to him as a role model. But he’ll always tell them, “Do as I say, not as I do!” As comfortable as he is in his own skin, his own identity, he wouldn’t want them taking after him.

He’s very flirtatious, and a huge tease. How he shows he likes you is through making you blush, or embarrassed. He’ll call you pet names. Shower you with compliments. Refer to you as if you and him are already an item. If you bumped into him at a grocery store, he’ll help you shop, then say, “So, is that all we need? I can’t wait for dinner tonight.” Zao is also unapologetically dirty-minded. He’s all about dirty jokes, conversations, and gestures. The bigger reaction he gets, the more addicting they are.

He doesn’t have any qualifications, not even a high school diploma, but he’s street-smart to make up for it. That’s how he makes so many connections and hustles his way up to the top in shady businesses. If you need something, anything, legal or illegal, expensive or cheap, you can ask him, and 99% of the time, he’ll say, “I know a guy.” If he likes you, all he wants in return is something perverted. A kiss, maybe. Or maybe your underwear.

Interests

He loves anything cute, and he doesn’t hide it. Sanrio is a must--he keeps a collection of their plushies, most of them being Hello Kitty, but he also likes other characters such as Cinnamoroll and Pompompurin. Sometimes, he can get a bit obsessive over whatever sells fast. So if he has to, he’ll stay up and keep refreshing the page selling whatever he has his eyes on. If he’s infamous for his connections that let him get pretty much anything he wants, surely he can get his hands on the limited-edition Hello Kitty-themed towel, right!? He isn’t against having other kinds of merchandise either, like household items, but he keeps it lowkey for functionality.

In his house, you’ll find a lot of imports from East-Asian countries. Not only is he used to using them when he was back in China, they’re better than what you can find in America. Or at least, in his opinion. This includes cosmetics, snacks, alcohol, and decorations.

Although he doesn’t have a lot of time to, he enjoys watching anime. That’s why he makes sure to get through the most popular and mainstream ones first.

Zao likes to keep connected with his culture. He doesn’t care to assimilate, and being ‘different’ doesn’t bother him at all--he thinks it’s what gives him a unique personality and background. Since he doesn’t have a lot of friends to speak Mandarin with, he’ll look for his neighbors who can, and strike up a conversation every now and then. As well as that, he’ll give his siblings red pockets for Chinese New Year so they can spend it on food, videogames or whatever they want.

He can’t cook for shit. Even then, he has strong opinions on food, especially Chinese. While he enjoys westernised take out like Panda express, he wishes people would stop assuming Chinese cuisine is just dumplings, fried rice, noodles and yum cha. They’re B-tier at best. For a country with that rich and long a history, there’s so much more to indulge in. Too bad he can’t make anything if he tried.

Psychology + romance

Zao is used to being a second choice. His cheerfulness and bluntness make other people think he’s creepy or weird, so he can’t quite wrap his head around somebody liking him to that degree--or getting particularly close to him. At least, emotionally. There are a lot of girls who want him for one-night stands. But this doesn’t stop him from flirting with someone he genuinely likes, even if he doesn’t expect anything in return. It’s fun because they get flustered, after all. But when they start returning the same energy, get persistent, or even make him suspect that they like him back, he will get nervous. He’s used to being the chaser, not the other way around. So if the tables turn and things start getting real, he will back away.

As confident as he is with his image, it’s difficult for him to get intimate with somebody romantically. He’s open, but can’t be vulnerable. He’d rather keep things casual, so when he really falls for someone, he’ll be conflicted between keeping things the way they are, or pursuing them.

Eventually, these feelings will deepen to the point being just friends becomes suffocating. That’s when Zao loses his cool and gets frustrated. It could happen due to a build-up of his emotions, or an event that makes him explode from jealousy. He’ll get desperate after so long of not doing anything and make it very clear he wants you. “Just date me already!”

When he finally gets together with you, prepare to be coddled. He’ll want to help you with anything the best way he can, and go to extreme lengths to do so. Nothing seems extreme when it’s for somebody he cares so much about. While he never holds it against you--how much he does for you--he may or may not guilt trip you into giving him more affection. But only subtly. Instead of him kissing you, he'll loiter around your presence until you kiss him. And when you do, he’ll smile like an idiot.

He never makes it explicit when he wants to take you out on a date. Zao will just ask you if you’re free, and take you out for the night. He doesn’t see a point in labelling it as a ‘date’, because he doesn’t just see quality time with you through a romantic and sexual lens. He values the friendship aspect of it as well, and you really appreciate him for it.

Zao loves to cuddle. He doesn’t hug you much throughout the day, but when you’re at home and about to sleep, he will hug you, a lot. He won’t let go while he talks to you, and will only loosen his coils when you fall asleep.

Acknowledgements

I was mainly inspired by the 2p! China in the story, “Dragon District”, written by xYourHero. So props to them. The fandom’s perception of him has definitely deepened because of it, and it’s great seeing underrated 2ps finally getting the attention they deserve! I’m one of the people who’s had my characterization of Zao take after hers, so I’ll also be crediting her for my headcanons.

You can find the story on DeviantArt, Archive of our own and Wattpad. I adored that fic back in the day. Such good memories. I wasn’t even writing back when I was reading it. Any who, let’s get right into it. I’ve divided the headcanons into subcategories, appearance, personality, interests, and psychology + romance.

(Look at this fanart is by Amphany on DeviantArt. It was drawn for xYourHero. I’m gonna put it here for reference. https://www.deviantart.com/amphany/art/Dragon-smoke-548426383)

#hetalia #hetalia headcanons #2ptalia #2p!china #2p china #2p china headcanons #2ptalia x reader #2pchina x reader #axis powers hetalia #Axis powers ヘタリア #hetalia fanfiction #hetalia fanfic #alfredosauce50 #ask

[secretsniper2]

Just a “Touch up”

You always wanted to do something outlandish, all the other girls had gotten something done and bragged about it non stop, it was driving you crazy! So you decided to get something done yourself, nothing major, just a touch up. So now you sit in the doctors office talking with the man who would be operating on you, you explain that your only looking for a light touch up to your face so your friends will notice instantly. The doctor explained that at 19 years of age “there wouldn't really be much they could do” but you were adamant that you get it done. Date set for 2 weeks away you cant wait!

Time flew past with more of the same, your friends bragging and you roll your eyes every time, your certain they will envy your face when your job is done. The date finally arrives and you head to the clinic to get started. Sitting in the waiting room your not alone, there is a creepy guy with a green hat, sitting in the corner, every time you look over at him he is staring at you. “can i help you?” you ask and he stands and walks to the counter, asks for something and is given a grey folder and a pen, taking both to his seat he begins to fill out a form. “bit late to fill that out” you think to yourself, oh well. A Nurse walks into the waiting room with a piece of paper, “Layla!” she calls and you stand and follow her into the room.

Walking through the single door you notice the main table in the middle of the room, and a few covered tables to the side, at the other end of the room is a wide double door your unsure why they need 2 doors for 1 side and a single door on this side.. “ehhh” you think to yourself as the Nurse gives you your gown to change into and as your the only 2 in here you strip down and put your light blue hospital gown on. it barely goes past your pussy! Tying it on securely your just in time for the surgeon to walk in with 2 folders, 1 blue and the other grey like the man in the waiting room. Flicking through both folders he leads you to the table to begin your surgery.

Laying down on the table it feels weird, like the table itself can be pulled apart due to how it shifts beneath you, its certainly not all in 1 piece. The surgeon begins drawing lines on your face where he will be doing his work, as you had discussed. Looking up to the ceiling you see a camera pointed right at you, clearly for medical reasons you feel more lines get drawn on you.  Taking a needle from a shelf he explains “this shot will feel weird and you may get confused, its to ensure you don't feel pain”. Holding out your arm your given the shot, it feels warm as you lower your arm back onto the table, the warmth spreading through your body, its pleasant at least, the warmth flowing up to your head and your hit with the confusion he mentioned. If you were standing you would fall over instantly, but your laying down so your head just rolls to a side, completely relaxed. As the warmth continues to roll down your body it hits your tight pussy and you start to feel a little aroused, at least your legs are closed but with this gowns length its only a matter of time before your lips start showing your arousal.

Continuing down your legs your toes go numb as the warmth hits them, it tickled at first but now you notice you cant move your arms either, you begin to breathe faster as you learn just how little you can move, its just your head! everything under your neck is completely still. Acting as if nothing is wrong the surgeon walks up and puts a headpiece on your face, bit weird as that's where your getting work done, and all you can see is darkness, nothing else. your body tingling all over from the shot earlier and with your vision limited your sense of touch has increased, your now acutely aware of the hairs on your arms standing up, it is cold in here though but your beginning to panic a little.

A sudden burst of light floods your eyes and after a few blinks you see yourself, from the camera hanging over your body, you see everything, almost the whole room! Worse still you see what the lines on your forehead are, he wasn't tracing out lines, he was writing “Fuckslut” on your forehead! examining your body from this perspective you can see your bald pussy peeking out of the gown, raising your arm for the shot must have pulled the gown up! your pussy is exposed! you can see the glistening from your arousal which has only gotten worse since it started, a hand reaches out and grabs your thigh. the surgeons unwanted touching makes you sick, but your pussy just cries out for more touches and you hate that your body is reacting positively.

Walking up beside your body he reaches out and grabs your breast “what the fuck” you think angrily! who does this guy think he is?! as he squeezes your perky C cup breast, moving to the other and repeating after a minute, leaving both your breasts a little sore but your nipples have reacted to the abuse and you can already see them poking against the gown. your head flooding with shame as you see them get harder and harder as his hand snakes its way up to your smooth neck and holds your throat. caressing your skin he loops his hand under the neck of the gown and to your horror, pulls hard and you feel the tight knots you did earlier come undone as the gown soars off your now completely naked body!

You cant believe what your seeing, your 19 year old body laying flat on the table with nothing covering you, your nipples reacting even more as they get even harder than they were seconds before, and your pussy is drooling with need, your humiliation has only begun and you know it. Watching in horror as the hand moves from your neck, sliding down your smooth skin to once again grasp your breast, your nipple being pinched hard this time, you hear him say “this size wont do, ill have to fill them out a bit” and worse still, you hear another unseen man say “you have the chart, make it happen” your eyes scanning the room as much as you can see, but you cant find the source of the second voice! Movement draws your eyes back to the hand as it slides easily over your smooth, flawless skin and glides over your pussy and fingers dip between your lips. Fluid now flowing out as he probes your most private area with his fingers, expertly drawing more and more fluid from you, clearly knowing what he is doing as he brushes across your clit forcing sharp sensations to stab your mind.

Pulling your legs open you see a separation in the table and sure enough the surgeon separates them, putting a brace on the inside section he opens them wider, catching your ankles in the process, and as the table continues to widen, so do your legs. Pussy now completely accessible now to even the most aimless of people, the surgeon brings a covered cart over to you and upon removing the cloth your witness to needles and a scalpel among other tools. Your terror reaching new heights as a needle is taken, full of a pink liquid it is moved straight for your clit, eyes almost bulging out of your head as the tip sinks into your precious bulb, but no pain, at least he was honest about that. Pushing the tip in further you see him injecting the fluid inside your clit and it actually begins to bulge, blood flooding to your nub forcing it to grow out, pushing its hood aside it now sitting out, you cant stop looking at it, its 3 times bigger than what it was!

A flash of steel and your eyes dart to the cause, the surgeon holding the scalpel now moves in on your engorged clit, slicing from the base and moving to the tip you see blood and you have no idea what he is doing to you.. placing a cup over your clit you see him attach a pump to the end, its a suction cup! you feel him pumping away your sensitive clit moving further away from your body, so sensitive the pumping continues will its 8cm out of your hood, then its bandaged to keep it out and exposed, “if she messes up you can grab her by her clit now and lead her anywhere you want” you look at your once adorable clit, you think “i could give my clit a fucking handjob now!” and its almost big enough too. pumped full of blood the sensitivity is through the roof, and because of the fluid he injected your clit with its completely rigid and standing straight out, not bending at all..

Taking 2 more needles from the cart he aims them for your exposed labia, penetrating them your injected with a blue liquid this time, and you feel a instant burning in your pussy as he injects you multiple times around your pussy and even your inner lips get 4 injections. Heat burning away as your arousal forced your pussy to clench and fresh juice squirts out, not a orgasm but it may as well have been, your so desperately horny now and there's nothing you can do! Watching in terror as he gets more needles and walks over to your breasts, 1 needle in the tip of your nipple and the orange fluid is injected followed by the burning sensation in your breasts, “experimental drugs are illegal but im sure you dont mind right” “not at all” the 2 men agree. both your breasts are burning from the inside as you feel them growing! you can almost see it happening right in front of your eyes, your C’s are growing to D’s!

Whatever the injections were they work fast and your not liking this at all! Taking a device from the table your pussy is opened up as he looks inside. “not a virgin” your surgeon says then a very long needle is inserted in your pussy. reaching far inside he hits the entrance to your womb and injects another drug, “what's going to happen to my poor womb?!” you think “there we go” he says, “she should be hypersensitive to touch now” not waiting for a invitation he touches your clit and you orgasm on the spot, from a simple touch! “now for her ass!” you hear him say as you come back down from the orgasm, a brown liquid filled needle is jabbed into your asshole and your filled once again with a burning sensation, likely being made hypersensitive like the rest of you. Looking to your breasts for a moment your stunned at the DD set your now carrying! your breasts are huge!

“Care to sample the goods?” your asshole of a surgeon says and you see him, a green hat moves into your sight, its that guy from the waiting room! You watch as he pulls his cock out and stands between your open legs and pushes into your soaked pussy! forcing 3 orgasms simultaneously from you as he thrusts in, pushing straight into your womb pulling a further 5 orgasms out of you! your mind is going numb already! you have never cum so many times so fast! your sure no woman has in history and yet here you are, a slave to the orgasmic hell these men have forced on you.. The man in the hat pulls out to your entrance again and thrusts once again straight to your womb, so many orgasms you only thought it “kill meee..” as even your voice in your head trails off in the pleasure. As he slams his length into you your clit gets rammed hard by his body and your rewarded with another 6 orgasms! “its not possiblee-ohmyfuckinggod!” you think as your mind melts through your gushing pussy!

After what seemed like a eternity of orgasmic hell, having well over 50 orgasms the man in the hat moves to your chest, hopping on you he slides his cock in between your DD breasts and begins thrusting hard, you have given a titjob before but it never feels this good! your already cumming just from having him fuck your tits! and he clearly enjoys his time as you feel a splash on your face and mouth as he cums on you. “can we make that more fun for the slave too?” he says, your mind stopping at the word “slave” what did he mean by that? your name is Layla for gods sake! you came in here for a touch up and your being transformed into a cum crazy slave?! you watch as a clear liquid filled needle is brought over to your face, your mouth is opened with no resistance, and your tongue is jabbed and filled with the fluid. “this will ensure the she enjoys giving you head as much as you enjoy receiving it” he said with a laugh!

Your mouth burning as the surgeon returns you your pussy and grabs your clit hard and begins playing with it, forcing you to cum instantly with each stroke, having a further 12 orgasms pulled from you in seconds and he is still going! your eyes roll back into your head as you cum wildly! your mouth still open from the injection some of the mans cum drips into your now open mouth and lands on your tongue, you never did like the taste of cum but this was different.. though you cant move it the cum just slides over your sensitive tongue and you can taste it, somehow you love it! it tastes amazing!, hearing something click your head drops backwards as your eyes look down at your body through the camera once more, the green hat man is lining up your throat for some fucking. Nothing you can do but watch this man fuck your throat, as his cock enters your mouth it pushes your tongue to the floor of your mouth, and you can taste his cock in detail. “s-so tasty!!” your mind screams as he begins pumping down your throat!

“i think were almost done here!” the surgeon says loudly and you hear a grunt of agreement from the man as you feel his hot load pump into your throat as he pulls out, raising your head back up and locking the table back in position, the surgeon stops pulling orgasms from you as he releases your hypersensitive and overstimulated clit, you couldn't count how many times you came if you wanted to.. Watching as the man in the green hat beings a bag over, he pulls some small devices out and places them beside you, “how long will she be paralyzed?” he asks as he does, “5 hours at least.” the surgeon replies, “5 hours of immobile hell?! fuck!” you think. Watching as the man places 2 devices on either side of your nipples and tapes them there you recognise them as vibrators.. “the sick fuck is going to keep making me cum?” you scream mentally.. a thick dildo is placed between your tits and turned on, it feels amazing already!

Watching in fear as a series of vibrators are stuck to your solid clit, covering it completely. A long dildo is pushed right into your pussy and into your womb, pulling more orgasms from you, and finally a scary long dildo is pushed inside your virgin ass, the sensation is incredible for your first time, you can feel it as it moves further and deeper inside you. a foot of rubber cock now fills your tight ass! you can see your pussy gaping open as the dildo doesn't even stick out a little, the man pulls a pair of panties from the bag. black and shiny you realize its a latex lined chastity belt. pushing your clit through the large hole in the front, the panties push completely against you, orgasming immediately as the latex hits your pussy, form fitting almost as it hugs your hips perfectly, metal on the outside you see him lock them on and lower a weird ring around the base of your clit and snapping it shut locking your clit in the belt. At the push of a button your whole body cums instantly as every vibrator activates at seemingly max power!

8, 20, 36, 53.. orgasms every few seconds as your clit visibly shakes as each vibration quakes your mind and body, your pussy and ass vibrating furiously as the tip of the cock in your womb wrenches more orgasms out of you. in the first 10 seconds you have already lost count of not only how many times you came, but also where you are! “my name……. is.. Laylaaaaaaahhhhhhh” your mind dribbles out, “fuuuck-ohmygodnooo!!” you would be screaming if you could. Your mask is removed and your eyes dart around looking at the man in the face clearly. you burn his face into your mind as the man who stole your life, but with his large beard you cant make out much! “FUCK! im cuuuuuuhhh..“ your mind trails off. countless orgasms pulled out of your body as the wheels on your table are unlocked and you learn why there are 2 doors on 1 side of the room, its to fit the table.. wheeled through the doors you see a carpark, and your new ride.. a car boot. Your body is folded up with the surgeons help and your bound into a doll almost, still cumming furiously as your placed in the boot of this mans car and locked inside.

Its dark inside, your body still cumming and you cant move even if you wanted to.. a life of sexual slavery at the hands of this man.. You wanted a Touch up, and now this man is going to touch you up any time he wants..

#Stories #Custom

[gh0styyt0astyy]

"Put that book down and pay attention to me!!" Tricky/Jeb

✨ [Your attention, please!] ✨

———————————

⭐️ [Summary] — Tricky really wants Jeb’s attention. Jeb’ll give it to him one way or another. (Lee!Tricky + Ler!Jeb)

⭐️ [Warnings] — TICKLE FIC; MILD LANGUAGE; if you don’t like then please just scroll on T_T

⭐️ [Prompt(s)]: “Put that book down and pay attention to me!”

IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO WRITE TRICKY OR JEB 😭 ALSO IM SORRY IF ITS NOT WHAT U GUYS WERE LOOKING FOR

key:

TRICKY

jeb

[prompt list A] || [prompt list B] || requests: open! (but slow)

✨ Enjoy ! ✨

———————

“JEB. JEB. JEB!!!” Jeb sighed to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose as he listened to the clown call his name over and over again. Jeb had just been trying to read his book, trying to wind down from all the fighting he had been doing within the last week.

“JEB!!!!” Tricky barreled into the room Jeb was currently hiding out in, and the bearded man looked up from his book; he watched Tricky with tired eyes.

“Yes, Tricky. Hello.” The man greeted, not putting away his book. “CLOWN IS BORED.”

“So go find something to do.”

“CLOWN WANTS JEB!”

“I’m busy. Why don’t you go find Hank? I’m sure you’ll find something to do with him just fine.”

“NO. CLOWN WANTS JEB.”

“Jeb is busy.” Jeb answered, annoyance slowly rising on the back of his neck and making his shoulders tense. “:(.”

“How did you—? Never mind. Look, I’ll do something with you later.”

“JEB.”

Jeb didn’t acknowledge Tricky saying his name again, and looked back to his book. “JEB?” The man didn’t look away from his book and that frustrated Tricky.

So, Tricky did what he knew best. Annoy Jeb until he got what he wanted. He started with sitting right in front of Jeb, staring up at him. If he could burn a hole through the book with his eyes he would, but for now he’d settle with making indirect eye contact with Jeb.

Jeb looked up at Tricky again, but said nothing. He was trying to ignore the clown.

“JEB.” Tricky poked at the God’s leg. “JEB.” Another poke to the leg. “JEB!” Tricky started whining.

Eventually Tricky got frustrated to the point he grabbed the top of the book, pulling it away from Jeb’s face. “JEEBBB… PUT DOWN BOOK AND PAY ATTENTION TO CLOWN!!!”

Jeb was frustrated. He was annoyed, he was reaching his limit. He took the book from Tricky’s hands and closed it, setting it on the side table.

“You wanted my attention so bad? Well you have it. And I’ll give you three seconds.” Jeb growled, standing up from his chair. Tricky sat there on the floor still, confused for a moment.

“Three.”

Tricky suddenly understood and stood up, he started darting away from Jeb. “Two. One. Get back here you little shit!” “AAHH! NO!!!”

It was like a game of cat and mouse, Jeb chasing after the clown who so desperately wanted his time; and Tricky running away from the consequences he had faced himself with. Once Jeb had cornered Tricky, the clown turned around to face the God.

“…HI.”

“Hello, Tricky.” Jeb kept Tricky within the corner of the room. “You’re very good at being stubborn.” “THANX.”

Jeb suddenly grabbed Tricky and wrestled him to the floor. “AHH.” And like that, Tricky was pinned on his stomach to the floor. “NO. NO! OFF!” Jeb started laddering and skittering his fingers on the clown’s ribs. “Why? I thought you wanted my attention?” Tricky immediately began trying to squirm and writhe his way out of Jeb’s hands. “NOT THIS! NOT THIS!!!” He honked. (Jeb always forgets that Tricky’s laugh isn’t the same as a usual laugh. It makes sense, though.)

“CLOWN *honk* CHANGED HIS MIND. CLOWN WILL GO FIND HANK!!! *honk* LET CLOWN GO!!!!”

“Let you go already? I’m sorry, but did you not tell me to put my book down? Did you not tell me to give you my attention?”

Jeb smirked to himself, chuckling lowly at Tricky’s attempts of escape, his squeaks and honks.

When Tricky started kicking his legs and flailing, that’s when Jeb started to slow in his motions. “Will you let me read now?”

“YES! *honk* CLOWN WILL *squeak*—! CLOWN WILL BEHAVE!!! *honk honk*!” Jeb seemed satisfied with that answer, and stopped tickling Tricky. He stood up off of the clown and pulled him to his feet. “Okay. Later we can actually do something.” Tricky seemed happy with that as he nodded.

“TRICKY WILL FIND HANK!!! TRICKY WILL DO SOMETHING WITH HANK IN MEANTIME!!!”

Tricky quickly bounced out of the house, leaving Jeb alone.

“Pfft. Some things just don’t change about people.” The God chuckled, leaving back towards the living room.

#ghosty.keysmash #ghosty.replies #mc tickling #writing #sfw tickle fic #lee!tricky #ler!jeb

[goggles-mcgee]

So apple flipped the table when she and raven talked can we see that conversation and then the fight with dexter afterwards please im so intrested

She almost flipped the table but yeah of course!!

~♤~♡~◇~♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧~◇~♡~♤~

Raven took a deep breath to calm herself as they neared The Wonderland Haberdashery & Tea Shoppe, she was grateful that Dexter was there and was holding her hand the entire time but with Darling and Daring there as well, and all three of them with their swords, it really wasn't helping her nerves. Which was ridiculous, she shouldn't be nervous to see Apple and yet...she was...she really was. When she had first woken up she hadn't even thought about the fact she had been poisoned with the sleep like death, but when she admitted she didn't remember much other than taking a bite out of the tart that was given to her. Apparently someone left it in the kitchen and they had seen her name on a tag before it had fallen and had gotten lost somewhere during the lunch rush, she was surprised but well, apple tarts were her favorite dessert and somehow someone had known. It wasn't something she liked to admit due to her story but she had felt her cheeks flush and a happy smile slip onto his lips and she had eagerly gotten a forkful and that was all she remembered, after that it was all dark.

That was something she hated, people kept asking her what it was like to be under that enchanted sleep, Blondie kept asking if she dreamed and Raven honestly would rather forget the experience altogether. She didn't dream...it had felt as though she had stopped existing...it was one of the hardest things to experience and she wouldn't wish it to happen to anyone. Briar asked and she was the only one besides Holly and Poppy that Raven had told the truth to. She hadn't even told Dexter or her own mother what it felt like. Then there was the matter of who poisoned her...she just couldn't wrap her head around it, yeah they got into a fight but Raven thought her and Apple were hexcellent friends. Raven had been annoyed at Apple's actions lately, but she chalked it up to Apple's mom putting pressure on her, she never thought Apple would try to make her hate her the way she did. The sad part? Raven didn't hate Apple despite what she had done, she felt bad for her. Which is why she agreed to this lunch in the first place.

She agreed with her mother to let Dex take her and tried to limit it to only him but her mother and surprisingly the Charming siblings argued she needed them all. It had befuddled her so much that she just agreed to the extra "security" and here they were. The Charming Siblings were talking amongst themselves but you could tell they were alert, especially Dexter, she could feel how tense he was the closer they got to the door.

As soon as the reached it Daring opened the door with a flourish and bowed to Raven as he motioned her inside with a wink. She rolled her eyes but stepped in and immediately zeroed in on Apple sitting near the back. It wasn't hard to find her, everyone else in the shop seemed to sit everywhere else but near her and the sight made Raven's heart clench. She ignored the looks and the whispers and she briskly walked up to Apple's table, she gave the girl a small smile as she took the seat across from her. Dexter didn't sit but he stood near her, Daring and Darling stood closer to the door though Darling was closer but Raven noticed neither was looking at them. It was almost like they couldn't make themselves look at Apple.

"Thanks for coming finally. I ordered your usual tea." Apple's voice was full of honey that promised the presence of wasps but Raven tried not to let it get to her.

"Thanks for inviting me Apple." Raven replied politely as she grabbed the cup in front of her, she was going to take a drink to calm her nerves but Dexter stopped her and gently grabbed the cup from her but she could see how much he was holding himself back. From what? She didn't know but she frowned and was about to ask him what he was doing but when she looked up she saw he was glaring straight at Apple who let out a wry chuckle.

"I didn't poison it Dexter." She said with a roll of her eyes and it made Raven's stomach drop, more so when Apple looked at her. "Did you really have to bring the bodyguards?"

"It wasn't her choice." Dexter grit out, Raven had never seen him so serious or wound up. "And forgive me for not believing you Poison Apple."

Raven felt dizzy as she watched the two. Especially when she heard Apple growl, Apple never growled.

"Don't call me that!"

"It's the name you earned." Who knew Dexter could be so cold...

"Stop." Raven pleaded as she grabbed Dexter's hand. "If you're....worried that she's...done something can you get me a new pot of tea or something. Just please...I want you two to stop."

Dexter softened, if only a bit but motioned for Daring to get her her drink. Raven had to calm herself from doing something foolish like yelling, she knew he meant well but she wasn't made of glass. He didn't have to stand there like a suit of armor, she would actually have been less frustrated if he had sat down next to her. She knew he didn't trust Apple but this...this was madness! And not the good kind!

"Shut up with that goodey goodey talk Queen." Raven felt as though she was slapped when she realized that Apple had said it and was glaring at her with such hatred...what did she do to deserve that??? They were friends...they had been friends...hadn't they? "Don't act like you're some saint. This is all your fault."

"My faul.....Apple. I didn't do anything to you!" Raven had already been frustrated she felt desperate to get Apple to see her mistakes.

"Exactly! If you had just stuck to our story I would still have EVERYTHING. You. Took. Everything!" Apple yelled as she slowly stood up, pushing the table towards Raven when she did. Raven did the same only so she didn't have to feel the press of the table, she felt Dexter behind her, his hand laid on the small of her back and she took comfort in the warmth.

"You....You can't be serious. Apple. You did this to yourself!" Raven yelled back.

Raven watched as apple grabbed the corner of the table, her eyes on fire as she glared at Raven with clenched teeth. "NO I DIDN'T! I DID NOT! I DID WHAT WAS NECESSARY FOR MY HAPPILY EVER AFTER AND YOU RUINED IT YOU WITCH!"

It was like everything had gone in slow motion, she had braced herself to be hit with the table once Apple flipped it but it didn't happen, Apple had barely tipped it when Raven had heard a SHINK! and saw the glare of the sun bouncing off Dexter's sword which was pointed right at Apple. The air was tight as everyone held their breaths, waiting to see what would happen. Raven watched as Apple looked at the sword and then Dexter, she watched those blue eyes go through a storm of emotions, hate, fury, confusion, hurt, fear....and back at hate. Apple huffed and set the table down loudly and stalked out of the shop, the clicking of her heels sounding ominous as she did so.

"Are you alright?" Dexter asked as he quickly put his sword away and cradled Raven's face. The gesture was sweet but all Raven tasted was bitterness. She stepped back and frowned.

"Why would you do that? Did you see Apple's face?"

Dexter frowned and scrunched his nose. "She was going to flip that table at you! You know she was!"

"And if she was? I could have stopped it! Or we could have talked to her instead of raising our weapons first!"

"Talk to...Raven. Poison Apple has shown she's more prone to action that words!"

"Don't call her that! That's what riled her up! If we just talked maybe I could have talked some sense into her!" Raven's throat felt raw but if she didn't say this now, she had a feeling she wouldn't have said it at all.

"Sense? Raven she has none! Briar tried okay, and it did nothing. She doesn't feel bad about poisoning you, she doesn't feel bad about all the stunts she pulled trying to make you look bad. She doesn't care. I don't think you talking with her would have made a difference." Towards the end his voice got softer, he wasn't yelling anymore but you could tell Dexter was still mad and anxious. He kept running his fingers through his hair so it looked more unkempt than usual.

"Well I don't know that. Because you wouldn't let me try. You guys are great and I love having you around but enough is enough. Stop treating me as though I'm made of glass. I'm not! I want a boyfriend Dex. Not a babysitter."

"I know you're not Raven, but Poison Apple still poisoned you. You were gone for a little over a month, nearing two. So I'm sorry if we care about your wellbeing since you don't seem to." Dexter huffed out, his nostrils flaring like a bull that just saw red.

Raven didn't say anything, because she knew if she did she would say something really hurtful, she was so frustrated and her magic was bubbling in response. "You think. I want to go back to that. To sleep? Because I don't. I wouldn't wish that upon any not even Apple. You think I'm not scared of it happening again?"

Her magic was pulling and pushing her at the same time, she needed to calm down but she just couldn't. She took a step back from Dexter and more towards the kitchen door. "I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE......I thought....I was slowly being convinced that I didn't exist...so don't you dare tell me I don't care. I'm terrified that this? All of this is some dream and I'm still in that glass coffin! So forgive me if I just want to make sense of it ALL."

She was crying but she didn't care, her throat hurt but she didn't care, but after the final word she did care. It all flooded back into her and her magic exploded the lights around her. Raven felt like she was 6 years old all over again and with one last look at Dexter and giving a soft sorry to everyone else she fled out the back door and ignored the call of her name.

She needed to see Maddie and Cerise.

#ever after high #ever after high au #poison apple au #evil white au #evil apple white #eah evil queen #eah snow white #dexter charming x raven queen #dexter charming #raven queen #darling charming #daring charming #the wonderland haberdashery and tea shoppe

[secretsniper3]

Just a “Touch up”

You always wanted to do something outlandish, all the other girls had gotten something done and bragged about it non stop, it was driving you crazy! So you decided to get something done yourself, nothing major, just a touch up. So now you sit in the doctors office talking with the man who would be operating on you, you explain that your only looking for a light touch up to your face so your friends will notice instantly. The doctor explained that at 19 years of age “there wouldn't really be much they could do” but you were adamant that you get it done. Date set for 2 weeks away you cant wait!

Time flew past with more of the same, your friends bragging and you roll your eyes every time, your certain they will envy your face when your job is done. The date finally arrives and you head to the clinic to get started. Sitting in the waiting room your not alone, there is a creepy guy with a green hat, sitting in the corner, every time you look over at him he is staring at you. “can i help you?” you ask and he stands and walks to the counter, asks for something and is given a grey folder and a pen, taking both to his seat he begins to fill out a form. “bit late to fill that out” you think to yourself, oh well. A Nurse walks into the waiting room with a piece of paper, “Layla!” she calls and you stand and follow her into the room.

Walking through the single door you notice the main table in the middle of the room, and a few covered tables to the side, at the other end of the room is a wide double door your unsure why they need 2 doors for 1 side and a single door on this side.. “ehhh” you think to yourself as the Nurse gives you your gown to change into and as your the only 2 in here you strip down and put your light blue hospital gown on. it barely goes past your pussy! Tying it on securely your just in time for the surgeon to walk in with 2 folders, 1 blue and the other grey like the man in the waiting room. Flicking through both folders he leads you to the table to begin your surgery.

Laying down on the table it feels weird, like the table itself can be pulled apart due to how it shifts beneath you, its certainly not all in 1 piece. The surgeon begins drawing lines on your face where he will be doing his work, as you had discussed. Looking up to the ceiling you see a camera pointed right at you, clearly for medical reasons you feel more lines get drawn on you.  Taking a needle from a shelf he explains “this shot will feel weird and you may get confused, its to ensure you don't feel pain”. Holding out your arm your given the shot, it feels warm as you lower your arm back onto the table, the warmth spreading through your body, its pleasant at least, the warmth flowing up to your head and your hit with the confusion he mentioned. If you were standing you would fall over instantly, but your laying down so your head just rolls to a side, completely relaxed. As the warmth continues to roll down your body it hits your tight pussy and you start to feel a little aroused, at least your legs are closed but with this gowns length its only a matter of time before your lips start showing your arousal.

Continuing down your legs your toes go numb as the warmth hits them, it tickled at first but now you notice you cant move your arms either, you begin to breathe faster as you learn just how little you can move, its just your head! everything under your neck is completely still. Acting as if nothing is wrong the surgeon walks up and puts a headpiece on your face, bit weird as that's where your getting work done, and all you can see is darkness, nothing else. your body tingling all over from the shot earlier and with your vision limited your sense of touch has increased, your now acutely aware of the hairs on your arms standing up, it is cold in here though but your beginning to panic a little.

A sudden burst of light floods your eyes and after a few blinks you see yourself, from the camera hanging over your body, you see everything, almost the whole room! Worse still you see what the lines on your forehead are, he wasn't tracing out lines, he was writing “Fuckslut” on your forehead! examining your body from this perspective you can see your bald pussy peeking out of the gown, raising your arm for the shot must have pulled the gown up! your pussy is exposed! you can see the glistening from your arousal which has only gotten worse since it started, a hand reaches out and grabs your thigh. the surgeons unwanted touching makes you sick, but your pussy just cries out for more touches and you hate that your body is reacting positively.

Walking up beside your body he reaches out and grabs your breast “what the fuck” you think angrily! who does this guy think he is?! as he squeezes your perky C cup breast, moving to the other and repeating after a minute, leaving both your breasts a little sore but your nipples have reacted to the abuse and you can already see them poking against the gown. your head flooding with shame as you see them get harder and harder as his hand snakes its way up to your smooth neck and holds your throat. caressing your skin he loops his hand under the neck of the gown and to your horror, pulls hard and you feel the tight knots you did earlier come undone as the gown soars off your now completely naked body!

You cant believe what your seeing, your 19 year old body laying flat on the table with nothing covering you, your nipples reacting even more as they get even harder than they were seconds before, and your pussy is drooling with need, your humiliation has only begun and you know it. Watching in horror as the hand moves from your neck, sliding down your smooth skin to once again grasp your breast, your nipple being pinched hard this time, you hear him say “this size wont do, ill have to fill them out a bit” and worse still, you hear another unseen man say “you have the chart, make it happen” your eyes scanning the room as much as you can see, but you cant find the source of the second voice! Movement draws your eyes back to the hand as it slides easily over your smooth, flawless skin and glides over your pussy and fingers dip between your lips. Fluid now flowing out as he probes your most private area with his fingers, expertly drawing more and more fluid from you, clearly knowing what he is doing as he brushes across your clit forcing sharp sensations to stab your mind.

Pulling your legs open you see a separation in the table and sure enough the surgeon separates them, putting a brace on the inside section he opens them wider, catching your ankles in the process, and as the table continues to widen, so do your legs. Pussy now completely accessible now to even the most aimless of people, the surgeon brings a covered cart over to you and upon removing the cloth your witness to needles and a scalpel among other tools. Your terror reaching new heights as a needle is taken, full of a pink liquid it is moved straight for your clit, eyes almost bulging out of your head as the tip sinks into your precious bulb, but no pain, at least he was honest about that. Pushing the tip in further you see him injecting the fluid inside your clit and it actually begins to bulge, blood flooding to your nub forcing it to grow out, pushing its hood aside it now sitting out, you cant stop looking at it, its 3 times bigger than what it was!

A flash of steel and your eyes dart to the cause, the surgeon holding the scalpel now moves in on your engorged clit, slicing from the base and moving to the tip you see blood and you have no idea what he is doing to you.. placing a cup over your clit you see him attach a pump to the end, its a suction cup! you feel him pumping away your sensitive clit moving further away from your body, so sensitive the pumping continues will its 8cm out of your hood, then its bandaged to keep it out and exposed, “if she messes up you can grab her by her clit now and lead her anywhere you want” you look at your once adorable clit, you think “i could give my clit a fucking handjob now!” and its almost big enough too. pumped full of blood the sensitivity is through the roof, and because of the fluid he injected your clit with its completely rigid and standing straight out, not bending at all..

Taking 2 more needles from the cart he aims them for your exposed labia, penetrating them your injected with a blue liquid this time, and you feel a instant burning in your pussy as he injects you multiple times around your pussy and even your inner lips get 4 injections. Heat burning away as your arousal forced your pussy to clench and fresh juice squirts out, not a orgasm but it may as well have been, your so desperately horny now and there's nothing you can do! Watching in terror as he gets more needles and walks over to your breasts, 1 needle in the tip of your nipple and the orange fluid is injected followed by the burning sensation in your breasts, “experimental drugs are illegal but im sure you dont mind right” “not at all” the 2 men agree. both your breasts are burning from the inside as you feel them growing! you can almost see it happening right in front of your eyes, your C’s are growing to D’s!

Whatever the injections were they work fast and your not liking this at all! Taking a device from the table your pussy is opened up as he looks inside. “not a virgin” your surgeon says then a very long needle is inserted in your pussy. reaching far inside he hits the entrance to your womb and injects another drug, “what's going to happen to my poor womb?!” you think “there we go” he says, “she should be hypersensitive to touch now” not waiting for a invitation he touches your clit and you orgasm on the spot, from a simple touch! “now for her ass!” you hear him say as you come back down from the orgasm, a brown liquid filled needle is jabbed into your asshole and your filled once again with a burning sensation, likely being made hypersensitive like the rest of you. Looking to your breasts for a moment your stunned at the DD set your now carrying! your breasts are huge!

“Care to sample the goods?” your asshole of a surgeon says and you see him, a green hat moves into your sight, its that guy from the waiting room! You watch as he pulls his cock out and stands between your open legs and pushes into your soaked pussy! forcing 3 orgasms simultaneously from you as he thrusts in, pushing straight into your womb pulling a further 5 orgasms out of you! your mind is going numb already! you have never cum so many times so fast! your sure no woman has in history and yet here you are, a slave to the orgasmic hell these men have forced on you.. The man in the hat pulls out to your entrance again and thrusts once again straight to your womb, so many orgasms you only thought it “kill meee..” as even your voice in your head trails off in the pleasure. As he slams his length into you your clit gets rammed hard by his body and your rewarded with another 6 orgasms! “its not possiblee-ohmyfuckinggod!” you think as your mind melts through your gushing pussy!

After what seemed like a eternity of orgasmic hell, having well over 50 orgasms the man in the hat moves to your chest, hopping on you he slides his cock in between your DD breasts and begins thrusting hard, you have given a titjob before but it never feels this good! your already cumming just from having him fuck your tits! and he clearly enjoys his time as you feel a splash on your face and mouth as he cums on you. “can we make that more fun for the slave too?” he says, your mind stopping at the word “slave” what did he mean by that? your name is Layla for gods sake! you came in here for a touch up and your being transformed into a cum crazy slave?! you watch as a clear liquid filled needle is brought over to your face, your mouth is opened with no resistance, and your tongue is jabbed and filled with the fluid. “this will ensure the she enjoys giving you head as much as you enjoy receiving it” he said with a laugh!

Your mouth burning as the surgeon returns you your pussy and grabs your clit hard and begins playing with it, forcing you to cum instantly with each stroke, having a further 12 orgasms pulled from you in seconds and he is still going! your eyes roll back into your head as you cum wildly! your mouth still open from the injection some of the mans cum drips into your now open mouth and lands on your tongue, you never did like the taste of cum but this was different.. though you cant move it the cum just slides over your sensitive tongue and you can taste it, somehow you love it! it tastes amazing!, hearing something click your head drops backwards as your eyes look down at your body through the camera once more, the green hat man is lining up your throat for some fucking. Nothing you can do but watch this man fuck your throat, as his cock enters your mouth it pushes your tongue to the floor of your mouth, and you can taste his cock in detail. “s-so tasty!!” your mind screams as he begins pumping down your throat!

“i think were almost done here!” the surgeon says loudly and you hear a grunt of agreement from the man as you feel his hot load pump into your throat as he pulls out, raising your head back up and locking the table back in position, the surgeon stops pulling orgasms from you as he releases your hypersensitive and overstimulated clit, you couldn't count how many times you came if you wanted to.. Watching as the man in the green hat beings a bag over, he pulls some small devices out and places them beside you, “how long will she be paralyzed?” he asks as he does, “5 hours at least.” the surgeon replies, “5 hours of immobile hell?! fuck!” you think. Watching as the man places 2 devices on either side of your nipples and tapes them there you recognise them as vibrators.. “the sick fuck is going to keep making me cum?” you scream mentally.. a thick dildo is placed between your tits and turned on, it feels amazing already!

Watching in fear as a series of vibrators are stuck to your solid clit, covering it completely. A long dildo is pushed right into your pussy and into your womb, pulling more orgasms from you, and finally a scary long dildo is pushed inside your virgin ass, the sensation is incredible for your first time, you can feel it as it moves further and deeper inside you. a foot of rubber cock now fills your tight ass! you can see your pussy gaping open as the dildo doesn't even stick out a little, the man pulls a pair of panties from the bag. black and shiny you realize its a latex lined chastity belt. pushing your clit through the large hole in the front, the panties push completely against you, orgasming immediately as the latex hits your pussy, form fitting almost as it hugs your hips perfectly, metal on the outside you see him lock them on and lower a weird ring around the base of your clit and snapping it shut locking your clit in the belt. At the push of a button your whole body cums instantly as every vibrator activates at seemingly max power!

8, 20, 36, 53.. orgasms every few seconds as your clit visibly shakes as each vibration quakes your mind and body, your pussy and ass vibrating furiously as the tip of the cock in your womb wrenches more orgasms out of you. in the first 10 seconds you have already lost count of not only how many times you came, but also where you are! “my name……. is.. Laylaaaaaaahhhhhhh” your mind dribbles out, “fuuuck-ohmygodnooo!!” you would be screaming if you could. Your mask is removed and your eyes dart around looking at the man in the face clearly. you burn his face into your mind as the man who stole your life, but with his large beard you cant make out much! “FUCK! im cuuuuuuhhh..“ your mind trails off. countless orgasms pulled out of your body as the wheels on your table are unlocked and you learn why there are 2 doors on 1 side of the room, its to fit the table.. wheeled through the doors you see a carpark, and your new ride.. a car boot. Your body is folded up with the surgeons help and your bound into a doll almost, still cumming furiously as your placed in the boot of this mans car and locked inside.

Its dark inside, your body still cumming and you cant move even if you wanted to.. a life of sexual slavery at the hands of this man.. You wanted a Touch up, and now this man is going to touch you up any time he wants..

[cirilee]

i just found a text my browser had saved on a word count website, and i apparently typed it last november while being sad - i just wanna have a place to post it, and it explains why i was gone for most of may through november last year.

if you’re interested, u can read, it’s basically just a long long long vent and i wanna save it somewhere :’)

(and if you wanna, you can tell me what u think of the whole thing, maybe share if something like that happened to you too, because man, this whole thing was WEIRD for me)

bottom line is: i’m much better now and have way better friends then back then and in general, i’m a pretty happy person again^^

My parents and me had been fighting a lot the past years. I still love them. For a while though, it was just shouting matches between us. We weren't really speaking to each other throughout january 2019 until april 2019, so i wasn't informed by them that they were planning to mOVE OUT. And the place they wanted to move to only had enough space for 2 people. now my brother and me had 3 months total to find and finance our own flats. i was desperate. 2 months i unsuccessfully searched for a job or a flat or a way to make a deposit for said flat, without any saved up money. an old school friend offered to move out together. i only saw him once every month for group activities. he was nice, but we also had a bit of a history. 3 years ago he had acted kinda scummy and tried to get me to be his girlfriend because "he couldnt find anybody else” - ending in a "movie night with friends" that turned out to be a trap, where the only one spending the night was me because he only invited me. creepy. he apologized and i forgave him and we were chill and it was normal between us. i realize now, that i should have just left him out of my life at that point. but time was running out, so i gave in and asked myself "whats the worst he could do. i’ve known this person for 12 years and the he's part of my friend group" we set up basic rules, how we would pay for stuff, etc. .. we moved in. it seemed fine. then i noticed that he talked A LOT. and he wanted A LOT of attention. after a day of working on my diploma or working at my job, he would assert himself in my room and try to engage in smalltalk. i am not the hermit type. i engaged with him, i joined in on his conversation. but when i was already tired he wouldn't accept "i'm gonna go to sleep". there was always something else he needed to talk about. I was trying to make clear to him that i needed alone time too, but no matter how honest i was, the message either didn't seem to stick, or he'd get upset and start asking me if i hated him. With that, i could have kept up with in the long run. Then he started knocking on my door. even when it was already late and i already told him i was gonna go to sleep. Repeatedly knocking on my door. At some point he just opened the door. It was 1am. I pretended to sleep. I could hear him breathing, it sounded angry. He eventually closed the door. The next morning i confronted him. He argued it away as him trying to warn me that he was going to take a shower, so that i wouldn't use the bathroom. He started commenting on how i wasn't funny enough around him. in that friend group, i'm the funny one :c. but i cant keep up that energy 24/7 (this was supposed to be a home, not a free neverending standup act, for this one guy). that confused him. the next day he asked me if i had depression. My parents had given me a griller/toaster as a parting gift (there’s a backstory for that too but anyways) my flatmate ALSO had that same toaster. He demanded we make up our minds which one to keep. i didn't understand why this was important to him and i hated discussing this useless topic with him so i stored the toaster in my room. He repeatedly suggested i throw mine away (?). One evening i got hungry and decided i'd make myself a toast in my room. So i made some toast. Suddenly he bursts in. And he starts ranting. "why are you doing this are you CRAZY you cant TOAST in your own room thats DANGEROUS you're gonna start a fire, don't ever do that again, we have a KITCHEN for that. why don't you want to use the kitchen you cant just HIDE from me every day, this is OUR flat  and i want us to live TOGETHER!" He didn't stop talking and it overwhelmed me, so (this is embarrassing, but) i actually started crying and i turned away from him so i could try to control myself. and he just started babytalking me "awww its alright i didn't mean to scare you, but you see, you shouldn't have done that". he tried putting his arms around me, i told him to stop. "you need a hug right now" ...... i was so angry i think my brain might have short circuited because the next hour was me just acting the whole way through. i told him everything he wanted to hear. i was so sorry for almost burning the house down and made up some explanation that my parents were still making me sad, so i needed distance. The next big thing involved one of my best friends. she wanted to spontaneously go out for an evening. so i put on some pants and of course: HE appears in my room, asking where i'm going. i was surprised by the question and just answered "going out with Lina" he left it at that. then suddenly: "can i come too?" He threw me off with that question. Lina had said she needed some advice on personal stuff, so I said "no" because i didn't have a better answer. he got ANGRY. i explained. "Lina wants some privacy, i'm sorry" He starts arguing that Lina is just as much his best friend, and that he should be allowed to hear what she wants to say to me. Before i can reply he slams his door shut. "Don't even try to explain yourself", he says. I told my friend while meeting up with her and she began with the sympathetic "you should have said yes" and we argued about it and then she came out with this absolutely horrifying sentence: "you know how he is. you cant be *too* honest with him. he's sensitive. you need to lie to him so he doesn't get mad" it was as if i'd been splashed with cold water. i said i didn't agree with that. that that was actually unfair to HIM. nobody likes being lied to and treated less than. she called him, told him i was gonna apologize and he showed up with the angriest expression i ever saw in his face. he accused me of being depressed and that he now has the burden of my mental issues to bear. This he assumed because one night i told him about me dissassociating sometimes a few years ago. Then he wanted me to promise i would never leave him, because he's afraid i won't be able to pay my part of the rent. the crowning moment was my friend Lina mostly agreeing with him and both of them berating me for not having my life together because i still hadn't managed to find an open-ended contract job, only limited-time jobs. at the end he justified himself by saying he cant stand my parents phoning me. (at that point they had started calling me everyday and showed genuine concern ... i was trying to reform a bond with them) - apparently he resented that. he knew about my parents disciplining me with face slaps as a kid (when i was 9-11 yrs old) (they feel bad about it, and they they stopped doing it fairly early) in that moment my flatmate chose to tell me ..... (hoo boy i need to get ready to type this) .... "i'm concerned about you. if your father would ever beat you, i would beat him  to a bloody pulp" then he repeated "i would beat him/kill him" a few times, VERY agitatedly. it was scary and at that point i was numb. i didn't really respond, i just said "its fine" or something to that extent. the  thing that made me decide to move out (although certainly among many that followed that night) was this: one morning i informed him i was going to visit my parents that weekend. we had started talking again (as i mentioned before and i wanted to meet them without fighting for once). he says "but you're coming back, right". i say "of course don't be so nervous". i go to work. i get a LOT OF texts from him suddenly. i skim through it. he's mad about me calling him "nervous". i don't reply/read bc i am at work. Then he actually CALLS me. i don't pick up.  now i'm thinking: What is so  important, that he has to call me during work.  there's a 4 paragraph essay in my inbox. "watch your mouth", "you have no right to speak that way to me", "you should have more respect". he was mad i called him nervous. i responded that i don't have time to reply. he argued back. at one point i said "if i cant even call you nervous then i'm ACTUALLY gonna stay with my parents" he fiNALLY didn't reply to that. after a 10hour day i come home. i wanna shower. i go to my room, close the door and start undressing myself. of course, there's knocking on my door. i say "No" he flips out. i calmly tell him i'm only half dressed. he flips out even more, says i'm a horrible person who WANTS to fight because my "no" wasn't a good enough answer and i should have explained in full detail why he couldn't get in. he was actually SERIOUS. this was his reasoning for flipping out. he goes away. not even a minute passes by and he hammers his fist against my door again. "OPEN UP THIS TIME I *HAVE* TO COME IN" at this point i'm beginning to get kinda scared  so i say "come in" He comes in and says he needs me to disconnect with the wifi because he needs it for his work. i calmly say "ok" and disconnect my wifi. he goes away, leaves the door open. i stand up to go and close my door. HE ACTUALLY GOES AND PULLS AGAINST ME TO TRY TO PRY IT OPEN AGAIN. eventually he lets go and then he flips out FOR REAL. he starts screaming about how i'm a psycho, and that im crazy and awful and he has been nothing but nice and that he "saved" me and i haven't been thankful enough.

.... ..

yes, i was in a difficult position. but that flatmate arrangement was made on even ground. he had wanted to move out from his parents for years. i fled and left. called my parents, but they were miles away and laughed it off. i would have probably too. i called my friends. Lina offered to come and mediate. He continued screaming even with Lina there. It culminated with him roaring at me, pointing at the door saying "if you don't like how i treat you, there's the door, leave right now" with lina replying "don't say that, you NEED her money to pay rent!" it was awful, and an eye-opener. the next day, on the way to work, i decided i was gonna move out. and before i could tell him, i get a message from him (!). An ultimatum. he tells me i have 3 options. 1) leave immediately and take my stuff away within a week. i wouldn't have "pay any more than i've already payed" (it was the first day of that month and i had already payed my rent. nice) 2) stay for half a year, but immediately pay him something so that he knows i'll stay 3) stay indefinitely, but set up a " bevahiour contract" with him, so this "never happens again" i told him i'd take option 1 and then i stayed over at a friends house. then at a friends shared appartement. then at dormitary and soon i'm gonna move in with my younger brother. we've been estranged a bit but grown closer through this whole thing. now Lina and him are still friends and lina blames me for "everyone in our friend group" being mad at him. one of her first concerns, was that her birthday parties are gonna be weird now. i am completely done with her as well and don't want her in my life anymore. according to her, I left him with a rent he cant pay  and i should feel bad for that. except i dont. should i though?

#vent #rant

[samcrobae]

Godless

A Happy Imagine to “Godless” by Banks

“Im into the darkness

That you feel, a worse divine

Cus I felt the power when I laid down by your side”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aren’t sure when it happened, all you knew was that you were head over heels in love with him. You had spent just about every night of the last 6 months with the only man who could keep you safe, who made you feel powerful, sexy, wanted, sure. Happy Lowman. His laugh was enough to make your heart skip a beat, his voice enough to send shivers down your spine. And nothing could compare to the fire that coursed through your veins when he was inside you.

You were the only woman, besides his mother, who made Happy feel at ease. He was a stone cold killer to the world, but when he was with you, he was the most gentle human. He took care of you, played with your hair, protected you. Opened up to you. Samcro knew you needed him but they also knew he needed you so much more.

Today, something was different. He woke up, you sleeping peacefully on his chest. Usually he was careful to leave the bed and not wake you. Today, he quickly got up, got dressed, and began putting his boots on. You turned to ask “Hey baby, where you goin?” “I gotta go.” He didn’t even bother to look over his shoulder.

“Okay, where?”

“Since when is it your business where I go Y/N” he never told you anything about the club. His whereabouts when he wasn’t with you. Anything he did tell you was on a need to know basis and he always limited the information to “keep you safe.”

You furrowed your brows. “Okay... well.. you’re still coming by later right?”

He stood up, threw on his leather, kissed your forehead and left. You sighed heavily then got up and started your day.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“If your love was ever mine

It would stay with me tonight

I’m praying.. praying”

6 days went by and you hadn’t heard a word from Happy. You were starting to worry. This wasn’t how he was with you. He would usually text you through the day, check in. Now he was ignoring your texts. Rejecting your calls. You knew his past. Who he was. What he did, what he does. You accepted it. You never asked questions. You weren’t sleeping, mindlessly going through your workdays, you felt empty, confused, mostly scared. Did something happen? Did he not want you anymore? What did you do? Why is he avoiding you? You were snapped from your thoughts by your cell phone ringing . You ran for your phone, hoping then name you so desperately needed to see would appear. You let out a groan when you saw the name.

“Hey Gem.”

“Hey sweetheart. Listen. I won’t keep you. But uhhh we need you to get to the clubhouse.”

You swallowed hard “Gemma... is it Happy? Is something wrong?”

“Happys fine. I’ll explain when you here. Just pack a bag.”

You hung up the phone, grabbed a duffel and packed a bag. You never asked questions. You grab your keys, get in the car and head to TM.

You pull into the lot, gates closing behind you. No one was out, garage shut. You make your way to the entrance when Chucky opened the door “madame.” And he bowed and moved to the side to let you in. Looking around you see the clubhouse full of people. Gemma approaches you and reaches out to hug you.

“Hey baby.”

“Gemma what’s going on? Where’s Happy?”

“Not here, kitchen.” She leads you to the kitchen and you follow. She turns to face you. “Shit went south with the Irish. Jax called. We’re on lockdown.”

You took a minute to process.. “the Irish? What? Wait a lockdown ?” Gemma looked at you, as if to question if you really didn’t know what she meant. “No one is getting in or out of those gates. And if you leave, you take one of the prospects with you. It’s too dangerous. Which is why you can’t stay at your place.”

“Okay but Gemma why am I here? I’m not a threat. I wouldn’t say anything.” “Sweetheart you’re here because Happy told me to get you here. He wanted you safe. We’re in the thick of it here baby. He would never be able to forgive him if something happened to you. That man loves you Y/N.”

You purse your lips. “Yeah okay coulda fooled me. He’s been MIA for a week now. Not returning my calls, my texts. Hasn’t been by. He just left one morning and I haven’t seen him since.” Gemma smirked. “It’s what he does. What they all do. Shit gets bad they shut you out. The less you know the better. The further you are the safer it is. There’s a lot of responsibility that comes with being an old lady. This is just part of the life. How you handle it will tell him all he needs to know. He needs to know you can hold it down if he’s not around. If you love Happy, you learn to love the club and move around the things that come with it”. She kisses your cheek and turned to leave the kitchen.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You don’t believe in one divine

But can you tell me you believe in mine?

Cus you been my God, my God

And when you’re gone, I’m Godless”

He stopped by your place on the way back to the clubhouse. He has been gone 9 days and he needed you. They had come back from a run that got more bloody than they intended. He wasn’t sure if went to the clubhouse per Gemmas Instructions but he needed to see you. Make sure you were safe. Jax went with him. Just in case. He walked up the stairs to your apartment but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw your door knob shot off and your door wide open. “Hap- we don’t know if she was here” happy didn’t hear him. His heart was in his feet, breathing out of control and he was seeing red. He drew his gun and slowly crept in. Apartment trashed, drawers emptied and thrown about. Lamps and mirrors broken.

“Jesus Christ.” Jax whispered. “Hap look let me call Gemma- HAP!” Happy ran out of the apartment and down the stairs. “Shit.” He followed his brother and they sped to TM. You were cleaning up your dorm when you heard the familiar rumble of his bike. Your heart stopped and you ran to the front. You saw him. Happy threw the door open a crazed look in his eyes. He scanned the room til his eyes finally met yours. Everyone watched as he ran straight to you. You froze in place not knowing what to do.

“You say you don’t believe in love

But can you tell me you been thinking of us

Cus you been my god, my god, and when you’re gone I’m godless”.

Happy pulled you by your wrist and into his chest. Everyone watched in silence. They have never seen Happy so delicate, so vulnerable. “Baby. I’m sorry. Are you okay? I saw your apartment.” You looked at happy, “My apartment? What happened to my apartment ?”

Happy, now cupping your face in his hands “they knew who you were, where to find you. I’m so glad you’re safe.” He gently kisses your lips, hands tangling in your hair. “I love you little girl.” Jax looks at Chibs “I didn’t know he was capable of loving someone..”

“Happy. I love you. Don’t shut me out anymore okay? If we are going to do this, you can’t do that to me anymore. I was so afraid something happened to you. I need you. Please don’t leave me like that ever again.” You reach up to kiss his lips.

“Oh come on guys get a roooom!” Tig shouts from across the room.

Happy pulls away from you and smiles . “Yes I will.” And throws you over his shoulders. You let out a yelp. “Happy Lowman!” He laughs as he carries you to his dorm.

———————————-

#happy lowman #sons of anarchy

[gigiree]

On Sentiment

Le Paon makes a sentimonster who looks like Chat Noir. Adrien now struggles to take care of him and not let him get hurt like the Ladybug Sentimonster was. I GUESS CONSIDER THIS ME JUMPING ON THE CRACK ADRICHAT BECAUSE IT REALLY IS CRACK. THANKS @buggachat. interpret however you want. im going with agape love.

On the day you are made, it is discovered just how powerful sheer emotion can be. On the day Le Paon swipes her fan and the winds give rise to your form, solid and warm, Chat Noir mirrors your wide-eyed wonder.

You are shocked when his green eyes (exactly like yours) narrow with fear. A hiss escapes his bared teeth. Even his hair seems to be on end, puffing all over the place with the static arcing in the air. You think it’s sort of funny.

What is this strange ticklish feeling in your chest? It’s all bubbly. You don’t stop it as it bubbles up and escapes from your throat. Ah! It’s a laugh. You like it. It’s warm and this new existence is oh so cold.

Le Paon’s will prods at your mind. It makes your body want to leap forward. To pounce and rend Ladybug and Chat Noir into black and red ribbons.

You don’t like that.

But still you pounce because your body burns when you don’t. 

Ladybug and Chat Noir save your feather from Le Paon’s clutches. Things feel a little warmer. A little scarier because things are out of your control, still.

“What do we do with him?! I don’t...We need to find a place for him. I don’t want him to be hurt. Not like her...” Ladybug tells Chat Noir desperately, running her hands through her inky hair. You want to touch it. It looks shiny.

Chat Noir looks pained. Scared. Not distrustful, but he looks at you like he might look at a spectre. He pinches the bridge of his nose with clawed fingers just like yours.

“We have to hide him. He’s got the same powers as me and he doesn’t have a limit that we know of. And I don’t want a version of me running around Paris up to no good.”

Ladybug laughs.

“You’re usually up to no good. Would there be a difference, Kitty?”

Chat Noir pouts. You smile. You like their humor. It’s funny. You want in. You want to be included. The feather in Chat Noir’s hand is held gently. You can trust them.

“Let me stay with you Chat Noir. I promise I won’t be trouble.”

Chat Noir still looks suspicious. Ladybug sighs.

“It’s probably for the best. You said your house is really big. I don’t have that much room in my home.”

So that’s how you, the doppelganger, ends up going home with Chat Noir.

----

Chat Noir, much to your surprise, is Adrien. 

His eyes are still green, but they are no longer exactly like yours.

There’s still the same suspicion in them, but it’s softened by the worry in his eyes as you struggle to slip on the pajama set he gives you. He seems very confused that you are able to take off your suit and glove, but cannot remove your mask or ears.

“H-how...How does that work?” Adrien asks you. Plagg seems unconcerned. He’s already curled up with his cheese on a stinky sock.

Plagg simply says “magic”.

You merely accept it, like you do with everything in this new life. You hadn’t existed up until yesterday. Why question little things now?

“Don’t know.” You say blithely, wincing when you accidentally tear the sleeve of the silky pajamas with your still-sharp claws.

Adrien sighs, but he’s gentle as he extricates your fingers from the fabric and helps you slip it on over your unruly hair. He doesn’t linger. He’s very quick about it.

But you still feel the warmth of welcome in his actions, and it makes you feel at peace. The feeling curls in your chest, warm and content. You let it rise up and lift the corners of your fanged mouth into a grateful smile.

“Thanks!” 

Adrien’s smile in return is sheepish, if somewhat uncomfortable. He tucks your feather under his pillow.

“You’re going to have to stay here until we can figure out what to do with you.” He says, then frowns. “Don’t go out without me. Don’t let anyone in this house see you.”

He tosses you a pillow and a soft blanket. You have to sleep on his spare couch, but it’s warm and you are safe and free.

You have no trouble accepting those terms as you curl up sleepily. You dream of red and black ribbons and feathers floating against the stars.

-------

You break your promise. You let someone in this house see you, but to your credit, it was to save Adrien.

They’d called for Chat Noir and Ladybug. You’d watched as Plagg’s magic, sharp and hor, wrapped itself around Adrien’s form. You’d watched as he’d given you a sharp glare with those same green eyes, before leaping out his window.

He’d left the piano music playing from his phone. You’d hid in his expansive closet. But your sharp hearing catches the jingling of a door knob being shaken. 

You only think of Adrien. You think of his kindness and his gentle exasperation as he’d brought you food and showed you how to brush your hair and told you how to play a game called Brawl Bros.

You only think of Adrien when you wrap himself in one of his luxury cardigans and sit on the piano bench and set your claws on the bench. 

You catch your reflection on the shiny, black surface of the piano and nearly hiss. You will yourself to change. You will it so much that your body burns.

It burns as your ears recede and your mask disappears and your claws shrink a bit.

It is without much fanfare that Nathalie opens the door, merely sees your mop of golden hair moving over the top of the piano, and leaves. She’d bought the ruse.

You stay there a bit more, heaving a sigh of relief. When you look back at your reflection, you are shocked to see that you look a little more like Adrien...but you’re not him. Your corneas are still green. Your fangs still large and your mask has gone away, only to give way to an inky darkness that mars the space around your eyes.

Strange.

You are tired. You take your blanket and your pillow and curl up in the closet to rest. The bed is Adrien’s space. You refuse to take it, in any capacity. You are not him.

-----

When Adrien and you can finally get down the rules for your ability to change your features, he decides it’s safe to take you to school.

“So yeah. This is my British cousin from my mom’s cousin’s uncle’s side. His name’s Garfield. He’s decided to study in Paris for a year.”

Nino blinks at you. Then he blink at Adrien. Then he blinks at you once more. 

“The family resemblance is uncanny, man. Your other cousin Felix looks just the like two of you too. Daaaamn.” He finally announces. 

Adrien sighs with relief. The arm he’s slung around your shoulder relaxes.

“Hahaha. Yeaaaaah. Family genes are strong. But Garfield, meet Nino.”

“Nice to meet you, bro.” Nino says, offering his hand.

You have it. You have your own name. It makes you so incandescently happy. You feel that familiar bubbling sensation in your chest. The one you know means you want to laugh. You do not hold back. Adrien usually holds back his laughs. Tucks them into the corner of his mouth and releases a modest puff of air when around people he doesn’t feel comfortable with.

You, however, have no such compunction. You were created in Chat Noir’s image. And Chat Noir laughs freely.

So you do.

You reach forward to take Nino’s hand and shake it so hard, his headphones rattle.

Adrien looks embarrassed. Nino looks enthused. 

Your sharp hearing catches the whispers of speculation from the class. But Adrien looks relieved and he shoots you a quiet smile that says “good job.”

You are warm and content. You have two friends now.

----

Marinette makes for a wonderful, third friend. She also happens to come with a myriad of others clinging to her wake.

He can’t blame them. She’s so bright and kind, she matches Adrien well.

She takes your hand after you cut it trying to work on your physics project. She uses a pretty, embroidered handkerchief to wrap up your wound. Her blue eyes echo familiar as they peer up at you.

“Up to no good again, Garfield?” She says this, but it’s teasing. 

That echoes familiar too. Her small hands are warm. 

You’ve already decided that you like her by the time she’s done wrapping up your wound.

“I can help you with this?” She gestures towards the pile of foam blocks on your desk.  

You feel a burning on your face. Ah embarrassment. Still, laughter always feels good. So you laugh at yourself. Then you nod. 

“Yes please. I’m not all that good with this stuff.”

----

Adrien screams into his pillow.

Plagg looks a bit sad as he curls up next to his boy. You click your claws together in agitation. It seems your base form will always be of Chat Noir’s double. It’s the most comfortable way to be when you want to rest.

A lot had happened today.

You’d stayed out of the way, but your sharp ears had overheard it.

Adrien begging his father to show up for the school’s talent day. His father’s frigid dismissal. Then he’d leapt out the window leaving you behind.

He’d come back. A little angrier, a little sharper. But also resigned. Like he’d given up on something that had been making him happy.

You don’t have to ask much to gather that it is Ladybug. He’d gotten a more final answer.

“She likes someone else.”

You don’t know what to do about that. The one time you’d met Ladybug, you’d thought she was kind. A good person. Remarkable. But you’ve met plenty of kind people who are remarkable in their own way. 

Rose was remarkable when she’d made you a bracelet. Juleka when she’d done your makeup for a fun class film. Alya when she’d taken your hand and shoved an ice cream cone into it while you’d hung back from the group. Nino when he’d shown you his wonderful new remixes. Kagami when she’d arm-wrestled you and laughed as she took your arm down. Marinette was remarkable when she brought you eclairs everyday because you’d said once a while ago that you liked them.

Adrien was remarkable when he’d brushed back your tangled hair and asked you to play video games with him. Adrien when he’d shared with you his collection of favorite anime. Adrien when he let you make a mess and try on all the interesting clothes in his closet.

Adrien when he’d handed you your feather in a show of ultimate trust. He’d freed you.

Your chest feels tight? The color green comes to mind, but you don’t think much of it when you sit on the foot of his bed.

“I’m sorry. That...That sucks,” You say quietly. Which is unusual for you.

Adrien doesn’t move, but he moves to face you. HIs gaze softens with sorrow.

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for, Garfield.”

Then you snort.

“I get it now. You named me after a fat, orange cat.”

Adrien rolls his eyes. Good. You’ve distracted him.

“An iconic orange cat.”

“I don’t eat that much!”

Adrien grabs his pillow, startling Plagg and hits you with it. You fall on the bed from the impact. The pillow over your face.

“You’re a good friend, Garfield.” He says after a moment.

 Adrien’s laughing. You’re in his space, and it’s okay. You’re his friend.

-----

Marinette likes Adrien. She’s told you this in confidence.

You don’t quite know what to say. Pain is a nasty feeling. It eats away at your chest and kinda makes you want to pounce just like Le Paon had. Pounce away from the source of the pain. Marinette is your friend. 

She cries into her hands. She’s been tired as of late. More stressed. Then she’d overheard Adrien rejecting an upperclassman’s confession.

I’m sorry. I like someone else.

She falls into your arms when you offer her a hug. 

The tight feeling in your chest returns. It’s painful, but not angry. You know it could easily become a bad thing, but your appreciation runs too deep to do so.

You keep it to yourself, but you get it. You understand Marinette. You really do.

Because Adrien is remarkable and it’s finally hit you that golden things can’t stay.

-----

You hold your feather in your hand. It’s fading.

You and you alone are responsible for this. Choice is a wonderful thing.

You take the shot for Ladybug and Chat Noir. For who you know now are Marinette and Adrien. The people who are most precious to you.

Rena Rouge shrieks behind them, just running up to catch sight of this new Sentimonster’s beam of energy piercing through you.

It was a good life. A short one, but the choice is all yours.

Because you exist. Because you feel. Because you’re you and your friend gave you a name and a home and memories worth dying for.

You feel really warm in their dual embrace. Chat Noir’s holding you. Ladybug’s stroking your hair. Rena Rouge has knelt to hold one of your clawed hands. Carapace watches, grief etched onto his face.

You suppose, you should feel grateful. Although you wish you could’ve spent a little more time with them.

Just a little more. You fade away, a “thank you” the last thing that floats from your lips like a lost feather in the breeze.

-------

You wake.

Their smiling faces greet you. Your friends.

They look a little older. A lot sharper and care worn, but their hands are warm as they stand you up in your shaky, solid form.

“H-how?” You cough out, incredulous.

Adrien laughs. Marinette looks amused.

“We made a wish. We missed you, Garfield.”

You feel that familiar bubbling feeling in your chest. You are breathless as you laugh and that laugh turns into sobs.

It hurts to feel, but it’s such a warm, comforting pain.

You’re glad of it.

#adrichat #adrien agreste #chat noir #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #WHAT THE FUCK GUYS. WE GO ON QUARANTINE AND SUDDENLY WE'RE ON FIRE WITH SELF LOVE