#Ellie the las of us part two

[tookthe-405]

Hard to sleep

bsf!ellie x bsf!reader

Masc!ellie x fem!reader

summary: Modern au where you and Ellie are best friends and in college together. About the queer situationship so many of us had with our best friend :,)

It’s angsty but still fluffy I swear 😪

(Happy End)

c.w: smut!!, weed, mention of alcohol and drugs and long af and I think that’s it but speak up if i missed something!!!

authors note: this is my first fic so please be nice to me, but still give critic so I can write better next time 🫶

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“Wakey wakey sunshine it’s time to get upp”

You sigh annoyed thinking you’re still asleep and dreaming some shit, because of course Ellie follows you into your dreams.

“Dude get the fuck up” this time her voice doesn’t sound so subdued and you jump out of your sleep.

“Holy fuck”

You Look at Ellie whose casually going through your dorm room, packing your bag for you.

“You really need to stop oversleeping the classes that are the most important to you and going to the ones no one cares about”

You sigh still tired and feeling your heart beating way too fast and loud.

“You really need to stop showing up here when I’m unconscious, you always scare the shit out of me”

“I literally called you sunshine, how does that scare you?”

You giggle a bit and sit up straight, stretching yourself before standing up completely.

Ellie gives you your packed bag and you take it, still in pjs.

“You do know by the time I’m done, the lecture will be almost over” you mention to her as you open the braid form last night.

“Who said I’m waiting for you huh?”

“Um I do?”

You Look at her grinning, she sits at your desks while watching you do your hair with her green eyes following almost every move.

You Look Away quickly and go to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

Sometimes it feels like there’s a time limit when you two look at each other, like you have to watch out that it’s not too long and not too short. Most of the time Ellie doesn’t care and just keeps staring, but for you it’s important to not cross the friendship line. No one looks at their best friends for too long, no one worries about looking at their best friend too long.

You just don’t want to fuck this up.

“You should wear a skirt today”

“Huh?”

Ellie appears in the door.

“It’s hot today you should wear something short” she says again

“This your way of making me wear skirts for you?”

Ellie chuckles in her casual husky voice.

“Yeah that’s exactly what I’m doing”

“That was so fucking boring, you could’ve let me missed this one too Ellie” you whine

Ellie groans as the both of you walk to one of the cafe’s on campus, meeting your roommate Audrey and some of Ellies friends as well.

“I’m like 90% sure he said important stuff in the beginning and we just missed it because of you”

“Yeah yeah whatever I’m sorry ellie, I’ll try fixing my sleep schedule okay?”

“I’ll ask Audrey too take away your laptop and phone maybe you’ll have a chance then”

You bump your shoulder into hers and she giggles.

It doesn’t take much too make you feel nostalgic when you spend time with Ellie. Only warm air, sunshine and her laugh.

That’s all you’ll ever need and that all you’ll never have forever.

“I’m gonna meet up with Iris later”

Her tone sounds natural, no hesitation and you are sure she doesn’t know what her words do to you.

And the worst part is you can’t even be mad at her, you have no right to be.

You look down at your shoes that go in the same tact with Ellie’s, over and over again.

“Really? Was she the one with the braids?”

Ellie nods and you try to make some eye contact. You don’t want her to feel bad, even tho you’re sure she has no idea how you actually feel, and you always try to be happy for her. But maybe you want her to get it. Maybe you want her to see how you look at her, maybe then she’ll finally understands.

But she just keeps walking and looking forward.

“There wasn’t a frat party in so long you have to come!”

Audrey is basically begging, she even pulls your arm.

“Everyone is talking about it in my class, since it’s the last one before everyone is going home so they wanna party big” Jesse explains with a big smirk on his face.

Ellie and you look at each other from across the table, sipping your ice coffees.

You give her a uncertain look, you know she’ll go if you go and you’ll go if she does.

“Who’s gonna be there?” She asks and your eyes land on Dina, who normally knows every human alive.

“Everyone I hope but I’m sure a few won’t go so why don’t you just tell me her name Ellie?” Dina says, a teasing look on her face and your heart feels heavy again.

“Iris. I sit with her in biology”

“Aw cute you sit with her?” Audrey says mocking her friendly, but she gives you a empathetic look. She’s the only one who knows about your feelings, since she was the one who was with you when you got a bit too drunk and told her about all the feeling you ever had.

Ellie looks at you for just a second, but thank god you didn’t miss it, and your cheeks turn red. You keep drinking your drink.

“Yes I know her she’s sweet but I don’t know if she’ll be there”

Ellie immediately grabs her phone and types something in it.

Jesse goes ordering something and Dina talks with Audrey about the party and what to wear.

Your feet kicks Ellie’s softly, so she looks up at you.

“Just ask her if you could met there, I’m sure she doesn’t mind” you say trying to sound as supportive as possible.

Ellie looks unsure and you grab her arm soft, feeling the fabric of her flannel jacket she’s so obsessed with.

“She likes you Ellie, god how couldn’t she and she should be happy about spending some time with you and you’re friends. I know it would make you feel more relaxed too, knowing you’re not alone” you try to whisper it but Audrey and Dina are loud talker anyway.

You smile at her and take your hand back. Ellie looks at you and her cheeks turn a slightly pink shade. She was never good with sentimental talk, too bad you’re so good at it.

“You don’t have to meet her yet you know” she says finally.

“What do you mean? Why shouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know… I wasn’t sure if you wanted too”

“I’m your best friend why would you think that Ellie?”

“I don’t know I just… never mind it’s stupid”

She starts looking at her phone again but you keep staring at her confused, angry and even a bit sad. You’re pretty positive that you weren’t obvious at all for the past years, so what did you do to fuck up so bad?

“Okay she’ll be there”

“Yeah?” Jesse asks, sitting down again with a sandwich in his hand.

“Yup she says she heard about it too and wanted to ask me if I would like to go”

“Damn that’s some soulmate shit” he says chuckling and you look out the window for something distracting

“It’s gonna be fine, if it’s too much for you we can leave” Audrey tries to comfort you.

“I’m gonna be okay Audrey don’t worry, i think I can do this” you know you actually can’t do this.

“I think this is all just in your head, the whole “Being scared of losing her” thing” she mentions quiet.

It’s not just that your scared of losing her, your scared of wanting her so much that you can’t control it anymore and then losing her.

“Just go ahead with the others, I think I’ll take a bit longer… I’m just gonna take an Uber” you keep digging through your closet searching for anything you would like to wear.

“You sure?” Audrey voice sounds unsure.

“Yes it’s a short drive I’ll be fine”

“Fine but if you change your mind then I’m more than fine with just watching a movie with you Here”

“I won’t I promise we’re gonna have fun tonight” you smile at her as she walks out the door saying goodbyes and waving quickly.

Right after she left you could hear your own thoughts way too clear and it felt like your mind was ready to destroy the whole evening.

You stare at your wardrobe searching for something, but this unsettling feeling is eating you from the inside and you lay down on the bed again, putting your face in your hands.

The tears just rush down your cheeks and your body lets them. You imagine the time where Ellie has a girlfriend wife, a woman that is more important than you and the person she wants to do all the things you want to do with her. You’ll have to be at their wedding and at their house to eat fucking dinner once a year.

You would do a lot for Ellie to want you as this person, but you tell yourself that you’re not gonna cry here because that won’t change anything.

You take your phone from the night stand next to you and open the camera, seeing mascara all over your cheeks.

“Fuck” you whisper annoyed

You try to whip them away, then you get a text from Ellie.

I’m gonna pick you up in an hour okay

What about iris? Shouldn’t you pick her up?

I wanna pick up you tho, she’ll be fine we said we would meet at the party

You don’t have to do that Ellie

I get it really

I want to pick you up. Is that okay with you miss?

I can hear you say this in my head

Shut up and get ready dork

You smile and the smile tastes like hope and assurance and love.

In the end you decided to wear a shirt mint green dress that has a V cut with a little cute white bow in the middle. Since how to walk in heels is a fucking mystery, you wear your Mary janes shores in dark red.

You put your hair up and put on a brown leather jacket from Isla.

There’s a knock on the door as you try to save your make up a bit.

You take one last look in the mirror and decide that your fine with how you look. With your bag around your shoulder you open the door and meet Ellie’s eyes immediately.

You smile excited and do a little spin.

“is this okay?” You ask her

“Pretty. You look very pretty”

You take a Look at Ellie’s outfit.

Baggy jeans with a white t shirt and her blue jeans jacket and converse. You could see her black sports bra though her white tee and looked away quickly, feeling your face heat up and your mind swift away to other places.

“You do too, even your hair is open for once. Looks very good” you say and take a step forward, so you could let your fingers go through her hair. She puts her hands on your arms and closed her eyes for a bit. You fixed a few hair strings and looked at her. You often saw her this close up but you’ll always thank the universe for another chance of seeing her like this. The freckles over her cheeks and her nose, hell even her forehead.

She is so beautiful and so sweet, sure she tries to hide it most of the time but in these moments you’re both just two girls holding each others most vulnerable versions.

A moment later you find yourself hugging her tight.

Your arms are around her neck and you take a deep breath in. She hugs you back, her arms around your waist.

“I love you a lot and I hope that doesn’t change ever.”

You whisper in her ear

“I love you too…”

You eventually let go of her and try to show her that you’re still happy and excited for tonight, even though you really just want to hug and kiss her the whole night and not watch her do this with some other girl.

“Let’s go I’m sure the others are already there”

“Frat boys are some weird people but fuck their party’s are good”

Ellie’s voice makes you look right as you guys get out her car and fuck she’s right. There are people everywhere. Outside the frat house, inside and you’re sure some people are gonna end up on the roof at some point too.

“I’m gonna drink so fucking much before I need to go back home” you say, real excitement in your veins this time.

Ellie giggles and the both of you try to get through the drunk people on the front porch.

It’s louder inside the house, where a tone of lights shine around in the room, everyone is dancing and you could smell alcohol in the air.

Your eyes scan everything around you, but then you hear Ellie curse.

“What wrong?” You get a bit closer to her again.

She looks a bit pissed but you couldn’t find anything else in her expression.

“Iris is gonna be here in an hour”

“Thats a bit late” is all that comes to your mind.

“No shit, she thought we would meet up at that time but still it’s just….” She looks at your biting her under lip

You take a step back and look at her really mad now.

“What is it that bad to spent some time with me here Ellie? We don’t have too you know you wanted to pick me up, you wanted to go tonight what the fuck?” You hear your own voice getting louder with every word.

You were trying. Trying to be supportive and not jealous. Trying not to think about her, about all the things you dream about. But this just feels like some fucked up joke.

“No! Fuck- you know that not what I mean…”

Ellie’s hands reach out for you but you step back again.

“Don’t fucking Touch me.”

And for once in a while Ellie was the one, who felt the sharp pain of rejection. Her hands slowly drop and her eyes never looked so green. Her eyes look around the room for a second, but after she realises that you’re not gonna change your mind she puts her hands inside her jacket and walked more inside the house.

You don’t feel the tears this time. They just appear in your eyes as you watch Ellie walk away.

You Turn left and walk up the stairs, trying to not let anybody see you cry.

You Wander around for a bit feeling like a ghost, not even sure how to think a single thought right.

After a while you find yourself in, you think the bedroom, of one the frat boys. A group of people sit on the floor, talking and smoking a joint.

Even tho you don’t really like smoking, you thought about it for a second and it didn’t sound so bad Anymore.

You stood there awkwardly, staring at them not sure what to do, but then you heard a voice behind you.

“You want one?” A tall girl with long blond hair asks.

“Excuse me?” You feel your pulse go up in embarrassed.

“A joint? I have one if you wanna smoke a bit?”

You look at her with your mouth a bit open.

Then you gave the group a last look, their laughing looking like they don’t care about a thing in the world.

“Yes… yeah sure why not”

The girl smiles and you follow her to another room, a bathroom which was surprisingly quiet. As soon as she closes the door, the noises sounds muffled.

You Open a window and lean on to the wall.

“You a student too? Or a friend of a friend?” You ask her, hating the awkward silences.

The girls steps beside you and pulls out a joint and a lighter.

“Student sadly, I would be fine with being the cousin of one of the football players” she chuckles slightly and light up the joint pretty smooth.

“So Whats Your name?” She asks you and hands you the joint.

You Take a Hit trying not to cough, but of course you fail.

You mumble your name, as you try to take a normal breath again.

“First time?” A smirk on her a face, but at least she’s not laughing.

“No but I don’t smoke often”

“Hm”

“Sorry what’s your name?”

She takes another hit and it looks way to easy when she does it which bring you wanting to do it better the next time and even better the next one.

“Abby”

“Nickname?”

“Yeah for Abigail”

“Hm cute name” you mention and take your … maybe 4th hit? You should stop counting now.

“Thank you… so what do you study?

“Psychology” I murmur

Her eye brown go up in surprise and you giggle a bit at the face she makes.

“Clinical?” She asks and it surprises gib that she knows about the difference.

“No, general”

“Oh you’re a smart girl then huh?”

You laugh loud and laughing and since you’re in a bathroom the laugh comes back way louder.

“Not really most of the time I miss the classes that I I really wanna watch” you say and your mind goes wandering off to ellie again but you try to focus on Abby in front of you.

“What do you study? Tell me what are you here for Abigail?” You say to her and she makes a face again.

“God only my dad calls me Abigail it’s kinda funny coming from an almost stranger”

And that’s so sweet that you can’t help but smile at her but then your eyes meet…. And god hers are so red that you pray silently that yours do not have the same colour.

“Pre-med”

“And you call me smart girl Abby” you say with big eyes.

“You might become a fucking doctor”

She giggled embarrassed and you could tell that the weed was working.

“I Hope so” she says looking a bit sad even and your first thought was that she might think she couldn’t do it.

You put your arm on her shoulder and your mouth falls open.

Fuck this woman has some muscles.

You squeeze her arm for a second and then realise that she’s staring at you with a confused grin.

“Sorry i Know we Don’t know each other, but I can just like you know feel that you’re intelligent and interesting and hard working and - I mean bro look at your arms I’m not even sure if that’s possible” you say laughing again.

Your laugh doesn’t stop for a few seconds, but as soon as it dies you worried that you might have over stepped the line.

You Look at her Face and she just smiles really nice and not mad or hurt just pure sweetness.

She’s really nice and your sure you guys could be friends and now you’re kinda scared that you gave off the wrong idea.

“What the fuck?”

Your heads turn to the door where a very disturbed ellie is standing.

“Ellie hey… no wait I’m mad at you”

“You’re mad at me? I’ve been looking in the whole damn house and I find you smoking weed from a stranger the fuck do you mean?”

You’ve seen Ellie being angry a lot. She was mad, because of a comic con where she didn’t get to but a signed version of her fav comic. Or when she cursed out some old dude who was driving too slow.

But never this mad.

“We’re going”

Your mind is still spinning then suddenly Ellie grabs your arm and wanting to pull you out the door but Abby steps between you both.

“Sorry but you can’t just do that”

“You don’t know shit”

Abby was definitely taller and stronger than Ellie, but Ellie’s temper was probably even bigger.

“I know she doesn’t want to go with you”

Abby snaps and Ellie’s grip gets stronger around your waist and she goes past Abby through the door.

You give Abby an apologetic look, Ellie only slows down when you are at her car.

“Get in” she hisses

You get in and you swore to yourself that this whole situation will end tonight.

“Ellie-“

“Don’t just please don’t talk right now please”

She sounded exhausted. Hurt as well like she hasn’t slept in days. Her head rests on the steering wheel for a few seconds, her back goes up and down from her strong breathing and you just shut up with tears in your eyes.

The ride was quiet, not even the radio was on. You could only hear the noise of the car driving, it’s humming which calmed you and Ellie down a bit. You still cried in silence the whole time.

You got out of the car without a word and walked up the stairs to your room, Ellie close behind you.

You Open the door with your keys and you both sit down on your bed. This might be the longest time the both of you haven’t talked while being together and it feels so incredible wrong.

“Why did you step back from me in the beginning. Why didn’t you let me touch you?”

Her voice broke at the end and you looked up to see tears running down her cheeks as well.

“Because … I felt like you didn’t want me there with you. Like you would swap me with her if you had the chance. That hurt me and I know I don’t have the right-“

“I would always choose you”

This time she didn’t sound sad, her voice sounds and feels delicate. Something tickled in your heart, like a string only she pulled on.

“I would choose you in every universe, in every scenario just tell me what you want. Tell me what you want and I’ll be it for you”

Ellie has this affect on your heart, your soul.

She could hurt you so much more and you’ll still choose her over and over again as well.

You’ll choose each other.

You Look at her lips and back to her eyes.

“I want you to kiss me-“

She didn’t waste a second, she put her hand on the back of your head and pushed you to her, the first time ellie kissed you, you tasted like weed and alcohol. And Ellie didn’t care.

If you taste like that she’ll taste like it too.

And you would still kiss each other over and over again.

Your hands found her hair again, like a few hours ago but this time you weren’t careful, you touched her the way you wanted.

Her hands found your hip and she pulled you on her lap.

“Wait - wait”

She stopped immediately.

“What about Iris?” You feel like crying again, if you’re just a replacement because it didn’t work out with her then you might kill her.

Ellie gaze is focused on her hand, that’s still on your hip.

“I couldn’t do it”

“Couldn’t do what?”

Ellie closed her eyes, frustration showing on her whole face

“I couldn’t do this to you- Jesus to her I just couldn’t. I kept on wishing it was you instead of her. The whole time and I mean for weeks. But I can’t lose you and I sure as hell can’t forget you”

Your breath feels lost and I feel dizzy.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask her and out both of your hand on her cheeks, so that she looks up at you.

“Why didn’t you? Because I was scared. Scared of losing you or us or both”

Her eyes got a bit watery again, you’ve known her for so long and you couldn’t even read her when she was hurting the most.

“Give me a second”

You got up and grabbed your phone out of your bag.

Audrey, sleep in Dina’s dorm tonight, in Ellie’s bed

And don’t worry about Ellie

Always warm your roommate about hook ups, or whatever this is. God you Hoped this wasn’t a one time thing.

“You’re okay with sleeping here?”

Ellie’s eyes went wide and her face got red.

“Yeah I mean yes for sure why shouldn’t I-?”

You sit down on her lap and kiss her again, harder this time.

“Is it okay if we fuck? Or too fast?” You ask her looking right into her eyes, so she would understand how serious you mean it.

“N-no im fine Are you fine?”

You grinned, she was so cute when she was nervous.

“I’m fine Ellie. Say stop and I’ll stop okay? Promise me you’ll do that?” You kiss down her neck as you speak and even there her skin was burning.

“Yes I can do that”

You get up to her face again and kiss her soft.

“Can you open my dress for me?”

She nods and her hands disappear behind your back.

The fabric on your skin never felt heavier and you just needed to get it off your skin. You needed Ellie to see you, to touch you.

Thank god you’re wearing pretty underwear, otherwise the anxiety would’ve ruined your confidence.

The cold gave you a little shiver, Ellie hand found your waist again and you literally melted under her touch.

A few seconds ago you were nervous how she might look at you. Ellie has experience, you too sure but she’s enough for you just by being here with you in this moment. You don’t know how she feels about you.

The warm light of your lamp shines on her face and her freckles never looked more beautiful.

Her eyes wander over your whole body.

Your lace bra, your legs, stomach and you’ve never felt this intimate with a person. It’s because this time it’s with her. And you feel golden, god she feels golden, the whole room does.

Ellie’s eyes stop at your bra and she grins.

“You’re so pretty” she whispers, as she kisses the exposed skin.

You sigh smiling, your hands finds her t shirt.

“Is this okay?” You ask for her permission.

She nods still kissing, touching your boobs over your bra and the two of you giggle as you take off her shirt and now both of you are almost naked In front of each other.

“I really wanna do this with some music on” she mumbles under her breath. A few moments later frank oceans voice is filling the room from Ellie’s phone. The bad quality made you chuckle.

Your hands touch her black sports bra, caressing over her small breasts and Ellie shivered for a moment.

It’s all you ever wanted.

All her rough and soft parts combine so good and make you feel so much, that you only want to scream.

You’ve seen Ellie in a sport bra before, at the beach or when she came from the gym, but you’ve always had this weird love for her toned forearms.

Ellie watched you with drunk looking eyes. Now she looks like the one who smoked the joint.

“I’ve imagined this before, so often it’s kinda embarrassing” she confesses.

You shake your head. “Im sure that I could keep up with it”

Your fingers started to make little circles around her nipples while you watched her face carefully, so that you wouldn’t kiss one expression.

Her eyes shut down and her brows furrow in pleasure.

For a while both of you almost fought about the control.

“Please let me take this off” she begs her hands already on your back, as she fumbles trying to get your bra open which was hard because you were moving a lot. From her neck, to her ear, to the other side.

But as soon as your breast were completely exposed, Ellie’s eyes darken and a satisfied grin appears on her mouth.

Feeling her eyes on you made your skin burn and you bury your face in your hands again growling frustrated.

“Please stop Ellie” you begged but you couldn’t help letting a little laugh coming out of your mouth.

You felt her hands on your boobs grabbing them softly, with a chuckle she starts massaging them.

“Stop What?” She mumbles, playing dumb obviously.

Her hands leave and suddenly it feels too cold without them. Ellie gently grabs your wrist and moves your hands away, so she could look at your face.

“Look at me, I won’t do anything unless you watch” she whispers.

It terrifies you for some reason. This moment and the consequences it will have.

Her head moves a bit lower to your boobs and she looks you in the eyes. You feel your emotions everywhere in your body, some are different from others.

“Here”

Ellie takes your hand and guides it too her hair.

“Hold my hair back for me” her voice sounds almost like she was in a trance, a trance she surly enjoyed.

The strings of her hair felt soft around your fingers and you decided to use both of your hands, so that no hair got into her face.

You heard a soft chuckle before she starts kissing your breast softly at first, while looking at you.

Her lips slightly brush against your already swollen nipple and you let out a loud high pitched moan.

You could feel her grin on your skin and all the embarrassment was gone.

She gently caresses over your nipple with her tongue and her fingers played with the other one.

“I really love these fuck” she whispers

The feeling in your core got worse and worse and the needy feeling was almost getting too painful.

“Ellie please I-“ her tongue flickers over you pink swollen nipple and you moan again.

“Hm?” She says completely focused on her work.

“Can you please eat me out or finger me I don’t care just please-“

the look on you face showed her how much you need it, because she immediately stopped and dropped you off her lap onto the bed.

“Yeah I can do that, didn’t know you could ever beg for something” she lets out a little giggle in her typical husky voice, while she kisses you down your body.

Your back found the wall and you changed your position, so that you could still watch her.

Her hands removed your underwear and the cold on your pussy makes you shiver.

She puts your legs over her shoulder and lays down on her stomach.

Her head lift up and she looks at you with a grin, an amused grin.

“What?” Your voice shakes a bit.

“Nothing just happy to be here”

You let out a loud laugh which died a second later, because Ellie starts to lick your clit in evil circles.

“You’re so fucking wet” she murmurs with closed eyes just saw tasting you.

Your voice got louder and louder by every move her tongue made and you could feel her enjoying every second.

“Oh my god faster Ellie please-“

Her tongue licks you faster, she couldn’t stop humming to your moans like she was feeling it too.

“You taste so good, just like I imagined”

Because of her words you got Even more turned on and you moan again, while Ellies holding you legs steady around her face.

“I’m gonna add a finger okay?”

You nodded energetic and gave off a little noise.

“Please Ellie just fuck me” you’re voice sounded like somebody else’s, way too high and way too filthy.

Ellie just chuckled and put her a finger inside your Pussy. She could feel how you’re legs tense on her cheek, as she continued too lick you’re clit.

The cruel combination made you go crazy, feeling dizzy in your head and your hips began too move on their own.

Ellie saw that as a sign too go faster as well, and her finger pushed in an out of your cunt.

“Ellie- please don’t stop”

She grins again, never imagined she would actually have you going crazy like this because of her.

“You’re getting tighter you close baby?” She teased shameless.

“Fuck- so close god-“

She adds another finger and the sudden stret made you moan and tremble at the same time.

“Come for me baby, please, make a mess on my fingers” Ellie sounded close herself and hearing her voice this desperate made you come so hard that you only saw stars for a moment.

“Oh my god- Ellie I’m gonna-!”

You came hard and ellie took everything you gave her, slurping and licking the fuck out of you.

You couldn’t stop panting for a moment, coming down from your high.

When you open your eyes Ellie was still cleaning up the mess you made, feeling her tongue on your skin.

“Okay Ellie- enough or I’m gonna cum again”

You said chuckling.

“Not my fault you taste so good holy shit” she puts her finger in her mouth.

“Ew ellie”

“Shut up I just fucked you with my mouth, you’re not allowed too judge me right now” she slides up to you and kisses your lips deeply with her tongue in your mouth, so you could taste yourself.

You kiss her back, just as eager, but the anxious thoughts won’t leave you alone.

“Um-“ you break the the kiss and Ellie whimpers slightly.

“Ellie is this just-“

“I love you.” She interrupts you, saying the words fast and it didn’t feel real for a second.

“What”

“Ive loved you for a while now I just- I’m sorry for not telling you but I was scared, god I was scared”

Her words hurt you, because you’ve felt the same way. Being too scared to tell someone how you feel is a shitty feeling.

She looks at you, but broke the eye contact immediately.

You pull her into you, kissing her cheek, her nose, her forehead, her everything.

“I also love you… that for a while as well”

A.n: sorry this was so fucking long 😭

And please Interact with the link about helping Palestine it’s literally just one click per day!!!

Anyways I hope you liked it and if there’s anything that I’ve missed or smth pls tell me!!

#ellie williams #Ellie the las of us part two #Ellie Williams x reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams smut #ellie williams angst #wlw #tlou2 #ellie tlou #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fandom #femme reader #fanfic #first post #abby anderson #abby tlou #Spotify

[bambiesfics]

Cock in a Gloryhole - Ellie x reader

𝜗𝜚 Author’s notes ✦ public sex, reader deepthroating Ellie’s cock (strap-on), Ellie cums untouched, Ellie yearns for readers lips, very hyper-sexual descriptions. Ellie’s strap is almost exclusively referred to as a cock/dick/etc, pining, missed connection. This is a filthy fic.

Ellie’s a slutty gay and very judgmental.

!!! [please help palestine] !!!

kisses u. ⋆ 𝜗𝜚 ˚⟡.

Ellie slid her converse off of the toilet handle. The brazen girl fished for her pants’ zipper. She held her cock in one hand, and fought with the zipper with the other. The cheap metal wasn’t fastening over the straps on her hips, it was catching on her harness. “Jesus fuck. Now? Seriously?”

She rolled her eyes and smoothed her bangs down. After a few beats, the bored brunette circled the stall, then slumping against the chipped navy door. Cock in hand, balls barely zipped up. She chuckled to herself, there was probably some stupid fucking metaphor for that out there somehwere. She wasn’t going to step out like that, with the veins of her dick saying “hi” over her half zipped pants? Fuck. No. It wasn’t in the cards. But the zip wasn’t budging. Ellie felt a scowl forming; The kid was pissed. She didn’t have time for this, not now. Not when there was a gorgeous service teller at the center that she’d been mentally undressing for the better part of her visit. A woman who belonged on her knees, in front of Ellie. A woman with the perfect mouth to suck dick clean. Ellie toe’d her converses on the dirty grout lines hatch marked across the tile floor. The repetition of it lulled her into a meditation as she contemplated how to escape this awkward mess she somehow tripped headfirst into. Getting into awkward shit like this was her forté, but the benefits of packing far outweighed the headaches.

The stall next to her swung open, the clacking heels were rhythmic and sharp. Feminine little steps. A woman sat down, and did her business as she hummed. Ellie scaled her eyes along the bathroom wall that separated her and the lady. The wall was grotty. Old and well worn from years of servicing and decades of business. The maintenance was abysmal on its best day, and it made for a pleasant surprise when Ellie’s eyes zero’d in on the hole carved out haphazardly. There were still pieces of drywall sticking out past the lament of duck tape all around the hole. Ellie chuckled grimily, just high enough that the woman paused her rustling once the realization that she wasn’t alone had settled. The prick-fucking developers who were responsible for this project definitely forgot to remodel this bathrooms stalls’ when they added a new male bathroom to the bottom floor of the building. The little glory hole had a glaring missing chunk of ‘wall’ from its separation of the two stalls, and it’d had that for years from the looks of it. It had a bunch of old thin splinters of amber oak and drywall sticking out. The eyesore pointed to the empty hole like a pair of flashing neon arrows pointing to a seedy Las Vegas strip club.

Ellie doubted it got used much, if at all. If any of the prissy women who sat down to release themselves understood why there was a giant fucking hole the size of a two baseballs stacked vertically in their bathroom stall. Nah, Ellie mused. They definitely just kept their gaze straight ahead if they noticed anything amiss. A prim attempt at respecting the other woman’s privacy. Except, the irony was in the fact that, the point of that hole carved in the wall, the hole yelling “FUCK ME,” was to trample all over another stranger’s privacy. To proclaim yourself a king with a heavy cock and see if they’d submit to it.

Ellie stroked her cock, squeezing the base then working her way to the tip, warming it up in her hands. She unzipped the rest of her pants, and let the balls spring free. The balls dropped a little past the zipper, it took the edge off the pressure in her leather jeans. Mmm, now this felt right.

She took a tentative step forward, debating her next step. But then she rolled her anxiety off her back. Undulating those fast twitch muscles that lined her back to stretch and warm, to relax. It wasn’t that serious. Call it “part of the plot,” call it whatever you want. But what Ellie wanted to do was going to be insanely amusing. She needed the amusement if she was gonna be stuck here until her zipper decided to cooperate. Ellie’s converses padded to the wall, it’s toe box lined up with the bottom of it. Nosing against the edge. She lined up her cock with the glory hole and slowly fed the hole inches of her cock, until she bottomed out and her balls were trapped between her hairy pelvis and the wall. She held her breath. Her palms scaled the wall. The woman on the other side gasped, Ellie could only imagine how she clutched her hand to her chest and scrambled to pull her bag up over her shoulder. Ready to run to building security and report the “creep” in the ladies bathroom stall. The creep was Elizabeth “I <3 pussy” Williams with her cock fucking a glory hole. This would make for a hilarious prank to joke about with Jessie later. Jesse would think Ellie was bustin’ his balls, making up some new lie to fuck with his head. And she’d revel in the way his face would drain of colour once he realized she wasn’t.

Ellie grasped the base of her cock and lifted it up a little bit, practically taunting “yoohoo!” With the motion. Letting her heavy shaft say “hi” to the poor woman who was facing it head-on. She grinned again, and prepared herself to tuck her dick back in her pants like a good boy and behave.

But then she heard clothes rustling, and the tug she felt on her harness made her eyes fly open. Her heart rate picked up. Blood was rushing in Ellie’s head. She didn’t actually expect a sweet lady to open up her lips and suck her off. But the eager lips on the other side, started sucking her cockhead before she could process it. The woman bubbled saliva onto Ellie’s tip to aid in the lubrication. Then the lady sucked Ellie’s fat cock in all the way to the hilt, until her nose bumped the soft skin shove Ellie’s groin. All that could be seen were puffy red lips and the tip of the girl's nose. But it made Ellie fucking sprung. Her mind was clouded with raging lust as the moans of “…fuck baby..” whimpered from Ellie’s lips. The rest of the sentence would’ve concluded with “…I didn’t expect you to actually blow me.” If Ellie could think straight.

The girl on the other side of the stall was enthusiastic to have cock in her mouth. She was sucking up and down Ellie’s full length. Using her sloppy saliva to help her lips slide up and down the length. Ellie shoved her pelvis into the wall until both of her hip bones were bruised and beat grinding against the wall. She was greedy to feel more suction. Ellie’s chubby cock had a puffy head, and a fat veiny shaft. Her cock was the color of obsidian, just like Ellie’s harness. And her wrinkly fat balls held her squishy testes. The ones she forced all girls to palm for reality’s sake. For all intents and purposes; this was Ellie’s fucking cock. And so she could feel it when the woman on the other side gagged on her dick so eagerly, it was as if she was desperate for Ellie to paint her throat in warm cum.

Ellie started moaning the more she heard the woman on the other side gag on her. She could just imagine the way her dick was creating an imprint in her throat, sliding down and bulging. Ellie was large, she’d seen her do that to a girl before. She couldn’t help but whimper at the image of a sweet girl impaling her dainty throat around Ellie’s thick piece, in a seedy business bathroom. God what a beautiful fucking piece of ass must on the other side of the stall. A girl with the lips of a killer, sloppy and greedy. Hungry to suck off a creep. Probably with a perfect vagina to match; a hole just as sloppy, just as greedy. A hole only fit for a King to thrust into. Good thing Ellie thought of herself as a King too. Ellie decided, as she watched your red lips deepthroat her length, that the very moment the girl on her knees was done digging her tongue into Ellie’s cock slit, she’d knock down the door of the stall you were in, and ram into your glossy pussy over the toilet. You would coat Ellie’s cock in the sticky saliva held inside your puffy little hole too. Two sets of lips for Ellie to abuse.

Ellie bit her fist to prevent herself from choking out a moan. God. You popped your lips off, and stroked up Ellie’s dick with your little fist. Up and down and up and down, before you put it back in your mouth to deepthroat one more time. You wanted to nose against the pale girl's skin again, feel her bush tickle the tip of your nose. Smell the soft patch of hair, the salt of her skin. The sexy art of her bush and happy trail. Ellie yelled out a hoarse “Fuck-k!” And you could tell she came. She soaked her black Klein boxers. Maybe she came from those eager motions grinding her harness against her swollen pink clit. Or maybe she came untouched, hole spasming scarily just because of how aroused Ellie was by you. You placed a gentle kiss on her cockhead with your red lips. Ellie bit down her fist, hard. She broke skin, and drew blood.

If you could’ve, you would’ve loved to have Ellie’s real cum dribbling down your tongue instead. You stood up to pull your panties flush against your plump cunt. Finished with your prior business. There was slick dripping in between all of your puffy folds, and you knew your panties would stay wet the entire rest of the day from just the way they were suctioned to your cunt alone.

You stepped out to wash your hands, heels clacking with an air of comportment. You waited for the girl whose cock you inhaled, to come out of the stall and address you. But she never came. Her back was pressed against the wall. Instead she slid down to collect herself. So you fixed your blouse, hid your cleavage, touched up your smeared lipstick after rubbing it all off on Ellie, and massaged your nipples so they wouldn’t poke so prominently through your blouse. You shimmied in your tight skirt and clacked out of the bathroom. Leaving the girl hiding in the stall, to catch her breath and will the staccato of her heartbeat away. Ellie wasn’t new to coming untouched, but coming from the visuals and motion of a stranger sucking her cock clean? That — that was a new one. She gulped and adjusted her boxers, because fucking Christ, they were heavily soaked from her own slick. With shaky hands the pale girl fished for her leather pants zipper. Pleading with the bitchy, cheap, metallic hardware over and over, until it finally pulled all the way up.

A rapid river of relief washed over Ellie, she couldn’t afford to be stuck in there anymore. Ellie stumbled out of the washroom, hoping to find you. She snapped her head back and forth, then stumbled around in circles trying to catch a flash of sloppy red lips. She thought of going to people and asking if they’d seen a lady with puffy red lips strut by. But then thought better of it. The idea sounded dumb as rocks, even to her own horned-out brain. Ellie rubbed her cock through her pants, feeling phantom sucks from memory. You were burned in her brain, forget the cute teller from earlier. You were her new Madonna, her new whore.

In your honour, she’d stroke her g-spot to a hot strap blowjob video tonight, to keep the memory of your filthy cocksucking mouth fresh.

Ellie hoped if there ever was a next time in that glory hole for her, that you’d line your little greedy hole right up in front of the glory hole in the stall, so Ellie could make you drip your cream down her cock. She’d love to pull her dick out of you, just to marvel at the beautiful rings of milk wrapped around her veiny shaft from your own sopping cunt. Ellie savored the idea of the screams she’d rip out of you, the cries and pleads you’d wail for her ears only. She’d rip you apart, and that would be the fucking cherry on top of her fucking birthday cake.

If she got the cake, she’d love to write “Ellie ‘Hung’ Williams” on the face of it just for shits.

#Ellie Williams #Ellie #ellie x reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams smut #the last of us x reader #the last of us smut #tlou x reader #ellie tlou2 #tlou smut #tlou x y/n #tlou2 #ellie tlou #the last of us #the last of us x y/n #ellie smut #ellie x fem reader #ellie the last of us #ellie x y/n #ellie x you #the last of us x you #tlou part 2 #tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou 2 #tlou 2 x reader

[pascals-doll]

 CONVENIENCE STORE

ellie williams x reader

『••✎••』 in which ellie self-loathed in her mistake as the weeks pass. you both went back to your regular lives, so will life spare a divine intervention? | WC: 12.0K

🫧 THIS IS A SERIES | FOR ALL PARTS GO HERE

🫧 SERIES MASTERLIST | CH.3 HERE

🫧SHE TOLD ME WATCH THE SNAKES CUS THEY WATCHING YOU! TYSM BABIES FOR THE IMMENSE FEEDBACK ON THE FIRST CHAPTER OMG 🥹!!

🫧description: MODERN AU! DESCRIPTIVE ANGST!, INTRO TO 2 IMPORTANT SIDE CHARACTERS!, latina!reader, descriptions of reader having bronze/tawny skin, mentions of religioius la virgen, a little bit of a abby mention ☺️, mentions of smoking marijuana, talk about about identifying sexuality, mentions of toxic relationships, bff!dina, reader speaks spanish! (very little in this this chapter), dina speaks spanish, reader’s nickname from her close friends is “gatà”, mention of y/n once (___), kissing! love reconciliation, use of pet name (mama).

CHAPTER TWO

oh, how Ellie texted you the morning right after as she woke up thinking about you. the way she grabbed her phone, opened the contact, and began to fly her fingers away in confidence.

Ellie had every intention of contacting you, she genuinely couldn’t get you out her mind as she had already put the lipliner you left her on her nightstand for safe keeping.

just like any regular person with the phone number of who they spent the night dancing with and even ending the night off with a kiss, you would think to text them.

yet, she sat there on her bed slightly hung over but Ellie truly believed that she could’ve been plastered, and she still would’ve remembered meeting you. she had her phone in her hands.

how hard could it be right?

how hard can it be to just type a quick message to the girl she over the moon infatuated with after the first night?

it was alot harder than ellie definitely thought….

Ellie wishes she could say that as she had her phone in her hand, her thumbs got to typing away with ease, and already asking you on a date.

a simple hello could’ve also just sufficed.

still, her fingers wouldn’t move, loosing control. it was like the wiring in her brain had short-circuited; a blank mind being the only thing processed.

in reality, she sat there with phone in hand, staring at the blank blue bubble waiting to be written in.

it had been 2 weeks since the night of the party.

2 weeks.

two weeks.

how did Ellie fuck up this badly?

she wasn’t quite sure, but she had been living in an eternity of pity and grimace since then.

why?

it was because only Jesse’s ass could be spending almost any given moment he has on the phone with Dina while Ellie couldn’t even send you one damn text.

one night Ellie came back from home working late-night at Joel's car-shop.

she was beyond exhausted and the first thing she heard as she walked through her shared apartment with Jesse was Dina's laugh.

Ellie was happy Jesse finally found someone he genuinely likes but it was her own 'pussy-ness' that irked her.

she practically dragged herself to her room in her own wallow but of course, Jesse wanted to greet his best friend.

"hey Els! how was work with y'old man?" Jesse questions, approaching you while still on the phone.

"fucking mute that shit!" Ellie panicked as she whisper-shouted like she was going to be caught or seen. Jesse rolled his eyes before pressing mute on the Face-Time.

"bro what the fuck is wrong with you?" Jesse retaliates, he looked at her like she was wielding a gun around.

"what the fuck! nothing!" Ellie sneers out harshly like as if she wasn't the one causing a scene.

Jesse huffed out but before he could speak, a familiar voice rang through the speaker of his phone.

'Deens! I brought my mom's menudo! your favorite!'

She knew it was your voice, even off one night with you.

she would be able to recognize your voice anywhere.

Jesse watched how you relaxed when you heard her, completely pulled into a trance in a matter of seconds between a phone call that wasn't yours.

"do me a favor—and a favor for yourself, text her for fuck-sake." Jesse sighs out, shutting the door to your room.

Ellie was sure it was too late to try again now.

it was too late all because of her own overthinking.

she was sure it would take a miracle to get another chance with you.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

on your side of things, you felt completely fooled.

when you woke up the next morning and finally was conscious enough to check your phone; just to see your notification box empty.

could you even be angry at Ellie?

you would begin to slightly overthink.

you didn’t know why you cared so much, you were cross-faded half the night and it was just a party….so why couldn’t you stop thinking about her.

you’re not gay…..well…no….ehhh..

you literally felt so stupid as you mentally pondered with yourself. even if it was just drunk you acting up last night.

you remember it so vividly and clearly, there was no way you could try to play this off.

“que piensas, gatà?” Dina huffs out, bagel in hand as she throws herself on her bed right next to you, referring you to the name she's been calling you since 7th grade.

“has he texted you?” you gave Dina this look which Dina reciprocated by arching one eyebrow in case you were trying to insinuate something.

“girl…he called me!” she looked around with an exaggerated look of shock with a hand on her heart causing you to giggle out with her.

you let out a whistle at her playful smugness “‘atta girl!” you were happy that at least one of you got a message back.

"What!? did she not text you?" Dina asks you slightly shocked, Dina did not miss the little kiss you had shared last night.

you didn't even meet her gaze, just twiddling with your thumbs.

"no... but I mean, she was just another person at a party that you have a good—" you rambled, trying to convince yourself more than you were trying to convince Dina.

she quickly cut you off "yeah babe, but that was with men and during all those stupid little breaks that dick claimed were needed." Dina begins. you already know what she was getting at.

"hoe, if you don't look at me."

you brought your eyes to meet with Dina's.

"look I know we made out in 8th grade—" Dina chuckles out which causes you to groan out annoyingly. you throw one of her stuffed animals at her; she caught that shit with ease.

"Dina!" you beam out, you were internally cringing for some reason and felt anxiety bubbling inside you out of the blue.

"babe! you were on gay shit last night. somebody had to say it." Dina could've worded this so much better, but it was Dina.

she was going to put it in the only way your current stubborn self would understand; by being blunt.

you weren't shocked.

you weren't acting as if hearing those words make zero sense to you.

you were confused, maybe slightly ashamed too.

you couldn't quite put a pin in your emotions which was now causing an inner distress to ignite.

"I-I-am....I-I" you sounded like an infant trying to mutter your first word.

que mierda, fucking get it together.

you internally scolded.

"___, I'm not telling you anything. I'm just saying that Ellie is definitely a lesbian and she made you feel something. that is okay—i mean girl! you were with your ex since our highschool sophomore year....do you really even know yourself—like that at least?” Dina was your closest friend and each word that fell from her lips was for your own good.

you needed to open your eyes.

yes, you were so assured of yourself and your life.

yet, you let someone dictate for so many years how to feel. you were never sure of your emotions till now; but you still find yourself struggling with the aftermath of how he treated your feelings as you forgot how to treat your own.

just having to recollect the memory of it, how he could take the power away from your words.

it enraged you as you felt sick.

"no, he fucking deprived me of myself." you spat out, a slight shake in your voice at the mix of emotions. you wanted to cry; not knowing why.

Dina got closer on the bed to now be completely side by side with you. she pulled you into her embrace from the side.

"you deserve to find out, it is your life now." Dina reassures you, calming you down.

she was 100% right.

you deserved the opportunity to find out who you really are, not just naive high school you because you were way past that time.

you needed your mental to catch up with you after being under someone else's impression.

you were going to do just that.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

after that morning after the party; for the next 2 days, you hoped for something.

a text or a call.

you got nothing.

you will say you thought about Ellie quite often, but you gave up hope she would contact you what felt like to be a while ago now.

you had a life to get back too, you were too slightly egotistical to let yourself get too wrapped up in ‘what if's'.

you weren’t quite sure now on your whole self-discovery journey.

you weren’t reliant on the woman but the way you couldn’t even restock items while you were at work without thinking back to her.

the way Ellie felt.

the way she felt on you.

you recalled every single little thing about her like you had been precisely studying a subject for school.

the way her lips fell perfectly into yours.

the way her warmth was able to whelm you in.

the way she was able to pull you into her by doing nothing.

she had completely contaminated your membrane with just her.

it was becoming infuriating as the days pass.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

Ellie was beyond fed up with her mind.

anywhere she went, almost everything reminded you of her.

it felt like universe was trying to rub her stupid mistake in her face.

Ellie was working another day at the car shop with the clock reading 5:40 pm.

the sun had begun to set as she finished up the last tweaks, she needed to make on the car's engine she was working on.

she wiped the slight sweat off with the back of her wrist as her hands were covered in black grease.

"why don't you g'head on home, kiddo. I’ll finish it up." Joel perks up from behind as he placed the toolbox he brought in on his workbench.

"you sure?" Ellie questions as she walks over to the utility sink at the far corner of the repair-shop.

"Yeah, I gotta work on that client's tires—the one I told ya he came in makin' a fuss his tires weren't low enough." Joel chuckled out slightly at the end which caused Ellie to give a soft giggle.

"you talkin' about Sergío?" you recall a couple months back how a man came into the shop with the coolest lowrider she had ever seen up-close.

"yup. that's tha'man." Joels southern accent draws out.

"he should be comin' in soon" Joel told Ellie as he began to move the car Ellie finished up into the lot with the rest of the other vehicles.

now you could call Ellie crazy for this but there was no way this was coincidence.

Ellie was sat on the stool, sipping on a soda as she took her small break as she watched the familiar old school impala drive up.

the blaring headlights caused her to raise her hand, shielding her eyes with the long of her arm.

Ellie's vision was obstructed temporarily but as it quickly refocused; she immediately noticed the huge rosary pendant that hung from the man's rearview mirror.

it was the same religious female procession that was on your lighter.

for some reason whenever she thought of you, she would then see an image or an item of the beautiful prophet.

call Ellie delusional......but to Ellie, this was a sign.

if this is you, please let me see her again. she mentally prayed for.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

more days passed during these dreadful two weeks.

the both of you lived in sync as you both spent time moping over each other during your daily duties of life.

another day where you were having an unpleasant smoke session. you usually would roll up after you got out the shower, depending on the weather for your drink of choice.

you would have a hot tea or iced latte to go with the lit joint in your hand as you sat on your woven chair outside of your porch.

your mind couldn't even relax as you inhaled your kush, you would ask yourself if it was something about you that made her 'unattracted' to you.

she probably thought you were one of those girls…

you felt yourself physically cringe at the fact you even thought that.

you truly just didn't know.

Ellie had been the first woman to ever give you enough attention to have you really question yourself.

couple months before you left after the college semester finished, there was this girl in your finances class that had sat down next to you.

she had the strongest female physique you seen, her arms showing she was a gym-rat.

you even remember her name being Abby, she was sweet when she flirted with you.

it had been the first time a woman ever flirted you which automatically caused your body to flush and grow shy.

you remember shutting the poor girl down by just switching your seat, not really processing the fact she had just flirted with you.

you rubbed your head slightly as you continued to drag out your joint, puffing your smoke out after each inhalation.

this situation is different, you weren’t in a relationship this time.

you had already got a taste of Ellie and now it was something turned gluttonous.

you ash your roach before grabbing your bag and heading off to work; your brain tingling still over the auburn beauty.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

you worked in a convenience store; it was owned by your family. more specifically, your tía owned the store ever since your tío had passed away a couple years ago.

she needed help with the store, so you quit working as a sale's assistant to spend half of your day behind a counter.

you honestly thought this was better than the shit you called your old job, you were practically your own boss all day.

the convenience store was located at the corner of a cold-de-sac.

it wasn't too far from a couple car-repair shops and a plaza that had a few options of chain-stores.

your family made a lot of connections through the shop. you would say that the area you lived in was community dominated and tend to be the same community who have lived there since you were born.

your convenience store was like the hot spot for your neighborhood due to the popularity of your tío before his passing.

this made your heart full, and it was worth it every time one of the regular's came in, like right now.

"aye! Pachuco!" you shrilled in pure excitement as one of your dad's friends that you grew up with walks in through the front door.

your convivence store was a little bit different than your regular 7/11 or liquor store.

the counter was all the way in the back, so it would be a bit hard to see who's coming in unless you look at the reflective circular mirror that was at each corner.

Pachuco dressed exactly like his name though, you could not miss him from miles away.

"como estas, neña!?" you leave your section behind the counter, greeting him as you smile at his term of endearment.

you enjoyed the times your job and store gave you, especially moments like these because you never knew if it could be someone you knew who can walk through the doors at any moment.

"I've been good! what will it be today?" you question happily as you get back behind the counter.

"how's that little boyfriend of yours?" the question was a harmless one, he didn't have a single idea that you guys broke up, but you still felt yourself wince at the mention.

"aye pachi, boys will be boys." you state simply, not wanting to get into it.

he observed your demeanor as you pulled out his favorite pack of cigars from the back-shelving.

"then just two Tylenols, gracias Mija—ay! what did i tell you? don't fuckin' date this age. to be honest, we never stop being dumbasses! Jaja—es un milagro que mi esposa no me haya dejado!" Pachuco laughs out as he pays.

you let out a laugh with him before giving him one last hug before he is on his way out, waving goodbye and throwing him a smile.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

“so kiddo….y’tellin’ me that you finally get a girl that gets—you— t’dance and y’dont text her?” Joel summarizes to his understanding at Ellie’s rundown of that night while cleaning grease from the wrench he held.

Ellie just stood there with an awkward look on her face “I thought I raised you right…” Joel grumbles out teasingly.

the awkward look completely fell into a straight-doomed face “jokes kiddo! jus’jokes!” Joel chuckles out, putting the wrench down and popping the hood of the car he was working on.

“ugh! why did I even tell you!” Ellie now began to complain, throwing her gloves off and onto the chair she was once sat on.

“oh, c’mon now! jus’admit it….it was love at first sight.”

the phrase his Ellie’s ears completely drowning out all her sense.

Joel’s voice echoed through her ears with only you as the single thought that lied on her head for what felt like was already decades.

“you wouldn’t even believe her beauty, man…”

Joel knew you were kind of-talking to him, but you were so lost in thought it was almost as Ellie was trying to process it herself still.

“alright alrigh’—why don’t you go down t’store and get us couple drinks, yea?”

Ellie agrees with a nod her head before hold her palm out towards Joel’s direction.

“what?” Joel questions with a hip popped as he works on the popped-hood.

“the money, fam” Ellie remarks simply.

Joel’s expression glazed as ellie continues for stand there with a cheeky expression causing a roll of his eyes.

“fine ma’treat” he mocks out, pulling out a 10 from his jean-pocket.

“awh! thank you Joel.” Ellie’s tone was sarcastic as she threw joel a goofy grin that joel returned.

“you almost 21, y’know that right?” Joel interjected sassily with an eyebrow raised.

“that’s why you let me near the stove now!” ellie bantered childishly before grabbing her headphones; leaving out the car-repair lot.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

♫₊˚.🎧 now playing: land of the snakes

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

Ellie walked down the cracked gray pavement as she took in her surroundings.

she observed each end of each street, looking at the street signs as she walked down; headphones blasting Cole.

she looked at the gas stations, smoke-shops, and laundromats as she crossed the cross-walk as she turned the street more into the busy neighborhood.

she peered an eye-out for a store as her head moved to the beat of the music, the buzzing of the street inaudible to ellie.

she watched as a group of women were walking up with different drinks in her far-view from more down the street.

Ellie followed the direction from where they came from turning the corner. at first, she was greeted with a plaza and a parking lot.

she passes the plaza slightly and it was almost hidden if a person werent looking in the right direction, they would miss it.

Ellie did not miss the store that she assumed the girls must’ve come from.

she couldn’t miss it when the convenience store had a mural of La Virgencita.

Ellie stopped dead in her tracks, only paying attention to the music in her headphones as she couldn’t fathom it.

♫ ain't no wedding and I do the most here

I'm the President you the co-chair.

you the player, yeah, I'm the coach here.

—I coast here.

this weather got me set up on this West Coast shit, yeah ♫

Cole playing in my ear and im seeing this? fuck my life.

Ellie pondered to herself as she just stared at the store, taking in the mural while the lyrics rang through her mind straight into the recollection of you.

her mind recalling your brown skin and the your gold jewelry sparkled as your eyes pierced through her.

she could feel her heart pounding against her chest as she observed the beautiful painting on each side of the store.

Ellie felt she was going mad but every single part of her reeling her in like fish on a rod.

she felt closer to you somehow.

like as if you were there.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

call yourself unprofessional but it wasn’t like you worked in a office or something.

if that was the case, you definitely wouldn’t be rolling up like you are right now.

you took the split cigarillo that was now packed with good greens up to your lips to lick a slick stripe along the cigarillo before pinching it sealed.

you grabbed your lighter, flicking it open as you focused on the ignited flame; drying your saliva into the blunt.

your focus was interrupted by the sound of the store-bells chiming.

no mamés—im on my fucking break. did they not read the fucking sign.

you complain mentally as you remember switching the ‘We’re Open’ to ‘Closed’.

you walk out from the backroom where the surveillance cameras were back behind your counter.

you knew someone entered but you couldn’t see who.

you decided to duck into the room real quick to put the rolled blunt into the wrapper; placing it in your sweater-pocket.

♫ nothin’s impossible

and all you lame—show me what not to do

i met a real bad bitch in the club tonight

she told me, “Watch the snakes ‘cause they watching you” ♫

Ellie was greeted with aisles of merchandise the second she walked in. she took a few steps down, passing a few aisles as she got closer to the section of refrigerators.

she wasn't paying attention much to her surroundings as she just took in the style of the store. she moved one-side of her headphones off her ear before opening the fridge and grabbing a lemonade for herself, and a sparkling water for Joel.

Ellie turned the corner, catching a glimpse of the clerk counter but she didn't see anyone behind it. she went down the aisle that was now in-front of the counter, grabbing her favorite bag of chips and a slim-jim.

now the next moment that happened.... Ellie swore it was all in slow motion.

if Ellie thought something was wrong with her brain before, her entire cerebellum just shut down for fucking sure.

she turned around with full expectation of having to wait and not seeing you behind that counter.

it genuinely was a miracle.

it was like the universe had been listening all along to the both of you, plotting this moment perfectly to unfold divinely.

Ellie dropped the snack items that were in her right hand, drinks in her left as her pupils flared. completely gleaming her eyes at you just standing there.

♫ now if you only had one wish is it devious?

'cause you already know who your genie is

ain't get a cover now your mag on my penis

like damn, he turned out to be a genius ♫

you felt frozen in place as you both burn into each other’s stare, neither of you processing the moment.

you caught a glimpse of the 'random woman' when her head was turned. she had her hair up in a loose bun and from the back—what looked like a black jumpsuit.

the second she turned around, your heart stopped.

you actually felt your heartbeat turn irregular as you were sure your eyes were gaping as jaw slacked obscurely.

you both were just gawking at each other absentmindedly. slowly, you began to remember how the woman didn't even text you and now here she was; meaning she lived in the area. your area.

you felt yourself emotions fume up "are you gonna pay or?" you nettled out, sounding way meaner than you meant too. you bit your lip in regret as you watch Ellie blink herself back into reality.

she took a step closer, still feet away from the counter you were behind. she tore her eyes from yours.

the woman didn't owe you anything but for some reason, you found yourself pushing for an answer "you come in here for that-" you began, taking your manicured nail and pointing at the items she held in her hands "or for somethin' else?" you finish questioning.

your tone was still bothered but you weren't rude.

Ellie didn't miss a single emotion though, feeling each one of your emotional vibrations straight into her heart. she wanted to open her mouth to explain everything.

in her heart, she was ready to tell you how you made her feel something no one else ever has before or how she wanted to ask you out to a fancy restaurant like she's never done because she's never met a woman who oozed of such divine elegance; while your looks could kill anyone with just one glance.

for fuck-sake, she's looks even better than I imagined.

Ellie knew this was the worse time to be checking you out, but this was something only Ellie had been dreaming about. she needed to soak in this moment.

you were wearing a black Juicy tracksuit; the zipper was halfway zipped revealing the pink halter that slightly pushed your breasts up complimented by your signature cat-eye liner and cocoa-lined lips.

your bronze skin shining through the same statement gold necklaces on the night she first met you, your hoops this time were small gold ones that Ellie didn't miss them. she took in the same details and your different ones.

you crossed your arms starting to get more irritated as you felt like the woman was judging you.... not checking you out.

“i-i’m—” ellie huffed as her eyes didn’t leave the floor before finally gaining the confidence to stride herself over and placing all the items on the counter.

“i’m sor-” you cut her off.

“i’m not gay.”

if you thought ellie’s facial expression was wistful and apologetic, her face went sour—completely deadpanning as each syllable was uttered out your mouth.

you jump immediately “wait!—” now it was your turn to take a breathe, Ellie didn’t move from her spot although her heart felt like it had been ripped out her chest.

“I’m not sure…. it’s a long story.” your explanation was pathetic.

"I was just gonna apologize...I see..." Ellie’s eyes trailed off from yours down onto the items on the counter as she dug into her pockets.

you examined her, trying to pick up on any sense of how she felt.

you looked at her up and down, she was wearing a mechanic jumpsuit that had a few stains and a white wife-beater under it. you felt yourself grow nervous at how good she looked; she looked worked out, but it made you even more attracted to her.

the small details of her becoming clearer as her freckles on her face were kissing her all across her cheeks, you took in how her clothing looked like she just came from a car-shop, and how her loose bun let a few free strands fall in her face.

you felt her rooted into you completely, just taking in her appearance bloomed your heart.

you felt yourself sigh once more, picking up the merchandise scanner and scanning each item. your hand wanted to shake so bad as the invisible blimps of your skin goosebump.

say something, say something.

your mind was burdensome as you force a sentence out of you "I'm-I'm on my break. the sign said closed." your voice was low, wanting to be hidden almost.

Ellie watches you bag her snack and drinks, rubbing the back of her neck to ease the tension that riled within her racing body; heart thrashing against her chest.

"the mural—it caught my attention.... I didn't even know there was a sign." Ellie's eyes meet yours once again.

"I understand if you didn't like me." you rush out, Ellie almost didn't catch it as you held onto her bag of items; she didn't even get the chance to hand you the 10 bill yet.

Ellie thought she was hearing things, there was no fucking way you just stated that shit.

she couldn't help but let out a very audible scoff.

"you ain't even let me say'somthin''" you could hear somewhat of a country undertone in her now loud and clear voice. nothing like the first night, where you could barely hear her.

you rolled your eyes as you felt no hope with the woman, handing her the bag.

"I never said that did I?" Ellie didn't hand you the bill yet, still in her hand. the way she let the sentence fall from her lips made your face hot.

she finally handed you the 10 "you said you were on your break?" she hinted as she held the bill in-between her fingers, making you grab it from her.

you lean in, reaching your hand out but not grabbing the bill "don'tcha know it's rude to interrupt a lady's smoke sesh?" you tease.

"m'sorry mama, any way to make it up to you?" Ellie slys out as you both flirt over the counter with each other like some shit out of a movie.

"join me?"

"i could listen to that 'long story' of yours"

you both gave each other a soft smile as you chuckled, finally taking the ten and putting it in the register before stepping outside your store with the fine roughed-up woman.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

the moment was picture perfect.

you both stood outside your shop, the mural captivating the background behind the both of you as you leaned against the gumball machines that were outside on the side of your shop-doors with Ellie in front of you.

you took the blunt out of the wrapper the cigarillo originally came in, taking it between your lips.

Ellie watched you bring your signature lighter up to the tip to ignite it. you puffed on it a couple times, flicking the lighter to crisp the edges to make sure it burned correctly.

you handed her the blunt, eyes meeting as you caught her staring. there was a moment of silence as she puffed herself. you kicked your feet up in a soft bored-playful manner as you continue to challenge your mental.

"Ellie..." you began, her name falling off like butter as it sounded like a lullaby to Ellies ears. she had all ears and eyes on you as she continued to drag out the blunt.

"I would love to tell you everything—but for right now...." you took a deep breath as you felt the cottonmouth begin to catch you.

Ellie leaned closer, putting a hand over yours comfortingly. she did it unconsciously, by the time she even realized she had her hand on your shoulder; she was already feeling ready to comfort you to even mentally process.

"that's okay-like I said, I'm all ears"

you couldn't process how compassionate she was with you as you spoke up.

"not too long ago, I broke up with a long-term boyfriend—he cheated that's not the point—the point is that.... I have never been with anyone besides him." you explain, your pauses being inhalations of the sparked bud.

Ellies brows furrowed but she listened to you intently, she couldn't believe a woman like you could ever be cheated on.

"I'm sorry, you don't deserve someone like that." she reassures once more causing your heart to skip a beat.

you disregard the comment by giving her a soft smile and passing her back the blunt, not wanting to focus too much on that aspect "I know I sound complicated, but I just never got the chance to figure it out" your voice was somber, picking at your fingers nervously.

your breath hitched as her hand gently picked up your face by your chin, her face a good distance from yours as the steps she took closer to you only closed the space that was left between the both of you.

"y'know that is not your fault right?"

those words brought you back to what Dina told you weeks ago.

"thank you...." you gave her a weak smile as you trailed off "not what you thought, huh?" you gave her this look of pity, not for her but for yourself.

"maybe not but to be fair, I was thinking a lot worse after 'I'm not gay' right then and there" Ellie lightens the mood by making the both of you laugh as you continue to smoke together.

"i may not know much—" you puff out before taking a couple more hits of courage out of your blunt.

"but I know I really like you, Ellie."

your voice was sincere, not a single doubt, or hint of all of this being a 'joke'. she searched your face to see any hence of regret or anxiousness. she found none.

your face was assured and if anything, you had straightened yourself up more which inched your faces closer slightly as your confidence flourished through you within seconds.

the switch up drove Ellie crazy.

your demeanor screaming 'I know what I want' and it was all pointing towards the woman in front of you in this dirty black jumpsuit which made her look ravishingly good.

Ellie followed your confidence naturally, something only you were able to derive out of her so easily.

she inched her face closer as you let out of puff of a cloud of smoke in front her face in a playful manner before her face met yours, now only feet away from yours.

"been one night and I already can't think of any other woman than you, mama."

your heart was running a thousand miles per second.

the same nickname she called you affecting you more than before.

"that why you ain't text me?" the real question of the evening.

the confidence Ellie had just gotten completely diminished.

"I'm not maddd" you drag out, reaching a hand to tug on her jumpsuit gently as you smirk. you weren't anymore.

Ellie was like putty under anything you did, your look and if you commanded her to do anything; she would do it in a heartbeat and Ellie knows she would.

just like that, her tense aura calmed down.

"i was so fucking ready to ask you out on some fancy shit. i was gonna tell you im picking you up at 7, having a whole ass bouquet while you stepped down all divine as fuck—i was so close! my fucking fin—"

Ellie couldn't finish your sentence by the crashing of your lips onto hers.

the kiss wasn't heated or fast, it was purely passionate. you both sulked into each other as your bodies needed this. you indulged in the warmth you both brought each other, your arms wrapping around her neck as the once lit blunt blew out while still in between your middle and ring finger.

the mix of the tobacco from the cigarillo creating a swish in the taste of each other's tongues in distasteful pleasure as neither of you could care or process anything besides being together right here in this moment like a heaven-sent.

if this was the work of the divine, ellie found herself mentally thanking them as your lips moved in sync together.

Ellie pulled away with the biggest smile on her face, biting her lips ever-so-softly before speaking.

"Is there any way tis'beautiful woman could spare a poor mechanic woman one more chance?" Ellie takes a hand, placing it across her heart dramatically causing small giggles to erupt out of you.

you pick up on how ellie mentioned she was a mechanic. ‘that’s so fucking hot’ you thought to yourself.

Ellie watched you in pure admiration and beauty "and what would that be, hmm?" you hum out contently, your forehead's brushing against each other.

"that date. you and me, and a fancy dinner—how about it, mama?"

Ellies eyes gleamed hopeful as your gaze's pour into each other.

"i thought you would never ask, bebé"

there you two were, rekindling outside of a convenience store.

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[obsessedelusional]

Bella’s Streamer Girlfriend

paring ✦ Bella Ramsey x fem!reader

summary ✦ Bella is exhausted from their constant travel for work. As her partner who just so happens to be a famous streamer you suggest they move in with you. What happens when Bella accidentally goes live showing you streaming? this is a request

word count ✦ 2,202

authors note ✦ hope y’all enjoy appreciate everyone one of you ilyyyyyy

masterlist

Feedback & Reblogs are helpful and extremely appreciated ♡

“Why don’t you just move in with me?” You suggest, a thought you’ve had for several months now just now finally making it out into existence. Bella had been fretting over how tiring all the travel has become.

“What?” Bella asks.

“Well we’ve been dating for two years and you’re always here anyways so..” Your voice trails off thinking you’ve said too much.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah I mean there’s not much room but we’ll figure it out. We can move my stream set up into the guest bedroom.” Bella doesn’t respond fast enough causing you to panic. Before you can ramble some more or even worse take it back she responds.

“Yes.” Bella says nodding her head.

“Yes? Like yes you want move in with me?”

“Yes.” She grins softly realizing what she’s just agreed to. Bella closes the distance between you two throwing her arms around your waist. Hugging you, slightly elevating you from the ground emitting laughter from you.

“How wicked? I get to live in LA with my beatuiful streamer girlfriend?”

—

Bella was the first to make a move two years ago. After finding out they got the role of Ellie in The Last of Us tv adaptation they poorly attempted to play the game. After failing the first part several times they opened YouTube. Your video of you playing the original game long ago is the first one.

Their attraction to you is immediate. Binging your videos lead to a follow on instagram. No idea who Bella Ramsey was but you followed back anyways seeing they were verified. Finding them attractive and your beliefs aligning with theirs so proudly displayed on their profile. Bella is silent with their crush on you until one fateful day.

An interview after Bella’s announced to play Ellie:

“Fans are so excited to see this iconic game come to life on television. Did you know anything about the game before your audition?”

“I knew of it. Like I had heard about it before but I never played it myself.” Bella responds to the interviewer.

“Have you played it yet?”

“No. I tried to but I’m not really a gamer. I played the first twenty minutes before giving up and watching gameplay.”

“Gameplay?”

“Yeah uh this girl on YouTube. Her name is Y/N. Shout out to her cause I watched her play the game. She’s a twitch streamer. She was so good at the game and she’s really…” Bella’s stops talking mid sentence as they realize they’ve said too much.

—

It’s an late night as you live stream. Just chatting with viewers before you hop into the lobby when your feed gets flooded with comments about Bella talking about you.

“Bella Ramsey? Sounds familiar. What did they say?” Your busy scrolling through chat and racking your brain trying to connect the dots.

“It’s Ellie Williams in the tv adaptation.” You say out loud reading a chat. One of your mods sends you the link so you can react to it live on your stream.

“Should I watch it? Everyone’s saying yes. Okay I will react to it.” The link opens up to a YouTube video of a zoom meeting type interview. As the video plays you recognize the short haired brunette as the random famous person that followed you on instagram months ago.

“There’s no way. I didn’t know they were playing Ellie.” You smile watching your screen not paying much attention to chat. It gets to the point where Bella mentions watching gameplay instead of actually playing the game.

“Yeah uh this girl on YouTube. Her name is Y/N.” Bella says in the video.

“That’s me!” You shout, pausing the video. Pressing play when you’re done freaking out.

“Yeah uh this girl on YouTube. Her name is Y/N. Shout out to her cause I watched her play the game. She’s a twitch streamer. She was so good at the game and she’s really…” Bella doesn’t finish their sentence, eyes go wide and their the one to quickly change the subject.

“And really what? What am I Bella?” You pause reading chat. People letting you know all the things you are.

“User2643556 says I’m beautiful, sexy, and amazing. Am I Bella?” You tease, your tone innocent yet flirty.

“Oh what about this Justin says I’m a stupid wanna be gamer. Plus a few other bad words I won’t be reading.” You laugh, watching as your mod kicks them.

“But seriously Bella! And what? What am I? I must know.”

The next day you wake and first thing you do is check your phone, a daily morning ritual. The first notification is from an instagram dm from a verified account, you have to rub the sleep out of your eyes just too make sure your reading it correctly.

Bella: I was gonna say cute but beautiful sexy and amazing works too xx

After your done freaking out you respond with a thank you and a winking emoji. To your surprise Bella continues to message you, you two communicate for a week over instagram dm before Bella gives you their number. The conversation usually flirty filled with getting to know each other. Empty promises to meet in the near future.

—

A handful of die hard The Last of Us fans who all had fairly large followings were invited to the premiere. You being one of them, which came to you as a surprise because you had played the game but there were far more bigger fans out there. You were excited for the opportunity nonetheless. A large part of you more excited at the chance to see Bella.

“We’re so glad you could make it.” The shows social media manager, Victoria who had initially invited you says.

“Thanks for inviting me.”

“Don’t thank me, thank Bella they were adamant on you being here.”

“Oh okay, will do.” You smile, ignoring the fact that if it wasn’t for Bella you wouldn’t be here. Anxiety growing at the thought that Bella wanted you here. How at any moment you’d finally meet her.

After the viewing of the the pilot you are sat with the rest of the influencers invited in the panel room. Cheers notify you that the stars of the show arrived, Bella and Pedro. Your watching Bella as people converse with them. They’re not paying much attention eyes are wondering around the room hopefully looking for you, you think. Smiling ear to ear as they make eye contact with you. Bella had wanted to greet you on the spot but they weren’t aloud to veer from the schedule.

The cast make their way to the stage. Craig and Neil are the first to speak. Thanking everyone for coming and supporting the whole project. Then the cast are asked questions. Too enamored with Bella you don’t touch your food, too nervous to eat. They often sneak a look towards you smiling when they catch your attention.

To your disappointment you don’t get a chance to see Bella. She’s rushed to her table where she eats with the main cast. Then when it’s over she’s guided to somewhere behind the scenes your not aloud. You wait longer than you should have before deciding to book an Uber to take you home.

Your stood outside the building waiting for your Uber, sulking in your own sadness. The night not going how you imagined at all.

“Uber for Y/N?” Your driver speaks breaking your thoughts.

“Yeah sorry.” You walk towards the car ready to just go home and crawl into bed. Before you can open the door your phone vibrates, it’s Bella.

“Where are you?” Bella says as soon as you pick up.

“I’m getting in a Uber right now.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s over. I’m going home.” You hear heavy footsteps, looking back you see Bella running towards you phone up to her ear.

“Then I’m coming with you.” Bella says into the phone only a few feet away from you.

“Are you inviting yourself over?” You laugh.

“Oh fuck I didn’t mean to come off like that I just didn’t want to-“ Bella hangs up on you, now talking to you instead.

“Can’t believe you’d hang up on me.” You cut them off, laughing at the fact that the two of you were conversing over phone while stood so close.

“I feel like a real dick head. I tried so hard to get away from tonight’s responsibilities but they wouldn’t let me. You have no idea how badly I wanted to get away from it all and be with you tonight. I want to make it up to you.” Your cute moment gets interrupted by the Uber driver telling you he’s going to leave if you don’t get in already. When you go to open the door Bella assumes the worst.

“You coming?” You ask, returning the smile to Bella’s face as she climbs in with you. The drive to your place is filled with apologies and sneaking glances at each other. Bella doesn’t leave your apartment till the next morning, up till 4 am just talking. Feelings grow and laughter is shared. Bella is the one to kiss you before they leave making plans to meet again.

—

Bella moving in has been great. It’s only been a week but waking up and going to sleep next to the person you love every night is better than you could of possibly imagined.

You stream five days a week, leaving the weekend for yourself and Bella now. Originally your set up is in your bedroom, using your bed as your backdrop. Moving into the guest bedroom has been great. Creating a whole new look for your stream and having a lot more space. The other half of the room filled with Bella’s miscellaneous boxes.

Bella has yet to get used to your work schedule. Normally when they visited you’d take a break from streaming or do it while they were off working. Now that you live together, you had to work. So often Bella would interrupt unknowingly. Apologizing quietly as they walked back out of the room. Your chat taking quick notice of your smile and lovingly stare as you told Bella it’s okay, wondering who it could possibly be.

—

“Can you hear me?” Bella asks turning on her instagram live.

“Uhh yes it is I see your comments now.” Bella gets comfortable, reading comments out loud. Shouting out people as they asked.

“Ok the whole reason for this live. I just wanted to give some life updates. First I uhh moved to California.” She admits reading chat for a moment before responding.

bellaramzeee13: I thought you hated la

ramseyfantlou: NO Bella’s gonna change ):

thelastofbella: the uk will misss you

“I promise I’m not going to change. Some things just happened and I decide it’s best for me to live out here. Ya know? Closer to opportunities and other things… anyway thought I’d come on here and unpack with everyone.” Bella stands up from where they’re sat thinking your out for the day with your friends. Heading into your steaming room, switching the camera to the back camera ready to show the giant pile of boxes.

“This is where all my stuff is,” Bella is going on not realizing your sat in your desk live as well.

“What’re you doing?” You ask startling her so her phone lands on your just long enough for people to realize it’s you. Bella’s quick to stuff her phone in her pocket live still going.

“I’m sorry I thought you were with your friends already.” Bella’s panic has your worried.

“It’s okay that’s not till later. I’ll be right back guys.” You say to your chat switching to your I’ll be right back screen. You follow Bella out of the room into the living room.

“I was on instagram live.”

“Did you show me?” You ask.

“I dunno.” Bella pulls their phone out it now on the front facing camera, you laugh seeing your reflection on insgram live.

“Bella it’s too late your still live.” Your laughing harder than before. Bella’s worried faced fills the live and your laughter in the background.

bellsram01: YOUR DATING HER???!!

sarabeez: NO WAY

elliewilliams22627: wait why do I kinda ship it

justbellaaaaa: bella I think I actually want your girlfriend more

“Should I get off?” Bella asks you.

“If you don’t want to. It’s okay.” Bella sets their phone down using some clutter on the kitchen counter to created a diy tripod.

“Guess it’s out,” Bella laughs. You move into frame, leaning closer to read more comments. Laughing at all the funny ones, reading them out loud. Answering a few questions about your relationship.

“Well I got to go attend to my steam I was so rudely interrupted.” You sigh dramatically.

“If y’all want more of me I’m on twitch right now.” You smile for the camera.

“Are you trying to steal my viewers?” Bella looks at you shocked.

“Absolutely yes babe.” You tease, before planting a small kiss on their cheek before leaving bella alone in the kitchen. Bella reads more chat as everyone freaks the fuck out.

“I guess you all know the real reason why I moved to the states.”

#bella ramsey x reader #bella ramsey x you #bella ramsey edit #bella ramsey fluff #bella ramsey oneshot #bella ramsey #bella ramsey tlou #bella ramsey imagine

[aestheticaltcow]

What Happens in Vegas Doesn't Always Stay in Vegas

A four-part series about a drunken mistake and realizations starring our favorite neurotic chef.

Part 1 - Those are legal?

“I’m sorry, what do you mean ‘I’m married’?” Ellie questioned the FBI agent in front of her. “Well, with Jack’s security clearance, we took his marriage license application very seriously. Elanor Marks, you’ve been married to a man named Carmen Berzatto for the past eight years.”. Ellie turned to look at Jack, who was just as dumbfounded as her, “You two got married in 2016 at Quickie Vows in Las Vegas.” the agent handed Jack a folder. “Here’s all the information, sir.” Jack nodded without saying anything. 

“How did you not know you were married?” Jack laughed as he got into bed that night, “I didn’t think those Vegas weddings were like real marriages.” Ellie sighed, sinking deeper into their mattress. Jack frowned, realizing just how upset his fiance was, “Hey, get over here.” he opened his arms. Ellie sighed and scooted closer to him in bed, “This is one of the things I love about you, Ellie. You’re spontaneous and eclectic. You love life and have never said no to anything.” he kissed her head making Ellie sink deeper into his chest. “When I met you in Germany, I knew you were goin’ be my wife one day. This whole Vegas marriage thing is just a hiccup. I’ll call Bren, and we’ll get all of this figured out… you’ll get your spooky October wedding, I promise.” 

Ellie opened her locker the next morning and shoved her backpack in before sitting on a free chair to change into her non-slip shoes. “There she is, the blushing bride.” Ellie rolled her eyes at her friend’s greeting. “Hey, Maddie.” “You good?” “I’ve been better…”

Maddie shot her a quizzical look. “Wanna talk about it?” Ellie sighed “Do you remember Carmy Berztto?” “Wow, that’s a blast from the past…” “Yeah, that’s what I said… we’ve been married since that Vegas trip.” Maddie was lost for words, “You know what I have to feed my sourdough…” she awkwardly laughed, scratching at the back of her neck. “Lunch break?” Ellie laughed, knowing Maddie wanted to know what had happened that trip “Yes. I have so many questions.”

“CAB, you’re like the best.” “I don’t know ‘bout that, El.” Carmy laughed, taking another swig from his bottle of tequila. Ellie snaked her arm around his waist as the two walked down the Vegas strip. The two found themselves separated from the main group of friends they’d come to Vegas with; it wasn’t something unheard of for the two of them. “You’re a kid but got the fuckin’ James Beard! You’re the best.”Ellie hiccuped. Carmy rolled his eyes, “You’re only like a year older than me, babe.” Ellie giggled and playfully hit his chest. 

The two ended up sitting on the edge of a fountain, exchanging stories of childhood trauma and fears of the future between kisses. “My mom used to call me a whore back in high school-” “You’re my whore…” Carmy whispered as he kissed down Ellie’s jawline, making her giggle and hit his shoulder “You’re so stupid.” “Fuck I love you.” Carmy laughed, burying his head in her shoulder nipping at her collarbone. Ellie giggled and gently tugged at his hair “I fuckin’ love you too.”

In New York, this evening would end in sex on the kitchen floor or the ratty old couch in Carmy’s bare apartment. In Vegas, it was a different story. Neither Carmy nor Ellie realized who’d suggested it, but they found themselves at Quickie Vows. They both went through the motions, thinking it was the funniest joke in the world. The two returned to the group’s Airbnb and went to the backyard to get into the hot tub. The next day, Ellie got the call she’d been waiting for.  She was going to Europe to be a commis chef. After a quick stop in New York, Ellie was off and thought she’d never be back in the States, at least until she met Special Agent Jack Aubrey.

The two met in Germany five years ago; it was love at first sight for Jack. Ellie took a couple of months to warm up. He was everything Carmy lacked; he actively made time to be with her. They weren’t together out of convenience; Jack was proud to be seen with her. He encouraged her to be herself and grow as a person. But of course, Carmy needed to make one last appearance before Ellie could live happily ever after.

#carmen berzatto #the bear #carmen berzatto one shot #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy the bear #carmy berzatto #the bear fan fiction #the bear fan fic #the bear imagine

[minustwofingers]

love is a laserquest p.2

series masterlist (read p1 here!)

pairing: rockstar!ellie williams x reader

request: @thatgiraffefromtlou so kindly included me on a post about writing something inspired by these beautiful edits :) thank you !

summary: after a serious of unfortunate events, columbia grad y/n y/l/n finds herself using her hard-earned journalism degree interviewing vapid stars and writing articles that she's convinced are rotting her mind. ellie williams has just dropped the album of the year and it's all anyone is talking about, but all she wants is to be off the press train. a certain interview with a certain interviewer might change this.

cws: explicit language, kind of suggestive phrasing? (i get a little feral with guitar playing descriptions), shitty bosses, mentions of nausea and throwing up (no one actually does tho dw), y/n is anxious asf, my writing is a little....yikes...in this one, loser!ellie

a/n: i lied i lied hehe. here's the next part. im still working on building this stupid app so i havent been able to write as much recently + holiday family stuff but oh am i back!

here's a playlist inspired by this fic

wc: 2.4k

tags: tags :) @intrnetdoll @dazedshoon @lovecaraya @pctcr @sariyaflowr @loser-keiji @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie@galacticstxrdust @elliesbabygirl @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower @muthafuckingstargirl @elliewilliamsissubermommyoml @eviestevie-14 @quicksilversg1rl @guacala @crtcrp @overtrred28 @diddiqueen @krisyslostsoul

enjoy mwah

It starts slow, like the drip of a broken faucet. It’s not like you’re actively seeking out anything Ellie William’s related, but somehow it seems like everything Ellie Williams related is seeing you out. 

In the grocery store, one of her hit songs from her newest album blaring over the speakers.

On the street, where you see crumpled pages of magazines with her face plastered all over them. 

And—perhaps the most offensively—on NPR and the New York Times, quite literally days after you’d met her. Suddenly Steve Inskeep and Leila Fadel begin the Up First podcast with a familiar song and devote an entire third of the morning podcast to Ellie and her band’s rise to fame. 

You decide to switch to the BBC World News for a while, but even they seem to be under her spell.

It’s not that you don’t like Ellie. She seems fine. Normal. Really cute, actually, and clearly very talented. But whenever you think about her, you think about the ill-fated, awkward, charmless interview.

“What happened?” Alyssa had asked you when she’d come back from surgery. “That wasn’t you out there.”

Which was actually very hurtful to hear, because you’d been holding onto the hope that you’d been all in your head about your interview being a failure. It all culminates in Eric, your 300 year old manager, sending you a strongly worded email that told you that your performance in the interview was so underwhelming that you were being pulled from the interviewer pool and exiled to article writing land. Which could be worse, you admit. You could be unemployed on the streets of LA. At least you’re still writing. 

And write you do. You spend all your waking hours either at your keyboard, on your yoga mat, or sat in a chair somewhere at a local cafe for a coffee chat. You’ve mostly deleted social media, since all you see nowadays are pictures of Ellie and Becca’s posts about her experience working and loving her life in New York (the algorithm apparently knows exactly what you want to see the most). 

It’s bizarre that, even as you try your best to place your focus on honing your craft and consuming only content that you think will make you a better writer, you still somehow learn everything and more about Ellie Wlliams and her band. It’s in the emails at work whose chains you’re CC’ed on. It’s in the advertisements and the billboards everywhere. It’s even in the conversations you have with your two roommates, Greta and Maureena. 

“She’s so fucking cool,” says Maureena dreamily as you sit around the TV in the living room. “I still can’t believe you got to talk to her.”

“It’s not like I actually got to, like, get to know her or whatever,” you say. “It was honestly kind of dry. Just awkward small talk.”

“That’s more than anyone else I know can say.” She reaches forward and grabs a fistful of popcorn. “How come she gets interviewed by the person who probably cares about her the least in all of LA? Like, what are the chances?”

“I care,” you say, and it sounds unusually defensive coming out of your mouth.

Maureena gives you a long, suspicious look, but before she can respond, Greta comes bursting into the apartment, purse swinging from her shoulder.

A greeting is halfway out of your mouth when she cuts you off. 

“You guys will not believe what I just did.” She’s nearly bursting with excitement, her eyes bright and wide. 

“Like, in a good way?” you ask. 

“Yes. Obviously!” Greta fishes around in her pocket until she pulls her phone out, waving it around. “Check your email.”

The last time Greta had come in with an entrance this energetic, she’d been coming to inform you both that she was getting engaged to her loser boyfriend Brian (which—thank God—didn’t actually last), so you and Maureena trade nervous looks. 

Maureena gets to it first. 

“Tickets to see Ellie Williams? Tonight?” Now she’s about to explode with giddiness, leaping from the couch and throwing her arms around Greta. “I love you, I love you, I love you. How did you get these? I thought they were, like, totally sold out. Or ten thousand dollars.” 

She grins wickedly, holding her hands out in a “who knows” sort of way. “You can all thank me later. We have to leave in about 20 if we want to get there in time. Y/N, you good?”

You’d been staring on in horror, jaw dropped and body completely frozen. You had registered that Ellie was playing in LA tonight—it’s all anyone you knew talked about at work today—but you never once considered actually going to try to see her. “Uh, yeah. Give me just a few.”

By the time you get to the venue, you’re convinced that you might actually puke from the nerves. It’s ridiculous. It’s not like three broke 20 some year olds were going to get last minute seats to an Ellie Williams concert that were genuinely good seats. It’s not like she would see you and realize that the girl who flopped while interviewing her was a big enough fan to attend. You’re going to be fine. 

“Shit, Grets, how are we so close?” asked Maureena as she leads you both closer and closer to the front. 

Horror steadily rises within you as you approach the front row. 

“I got these from my boss,” she says, turning around with a devilish glint in her dark brown eyes. “Her daughter got food poisoning, bless her. She had to stay back to take care of her, and I was the only one who stayed late to work, so…”

Greta’s boss was some filthy rich nepo baby who was a partner of a big talent agency. All of a sudden you feel stupid for not realizing this sooner.

“Shit,” you say, mostly to yourself. “Oh no. Oh my god.”

“Isn’t this so cool!” Greta jumps up and down, hands on your shoulders as she tries to rile you up. “Dude, what if she recognizes you?” 

“I think I’m going to puke,” you say miserably. Somehow the thought of her seeing you made you want to crawl inside your skin in shame and hide for the next calendar year. “Did you guys not see how ass it was? I was so fucking awkward.”

“It wasn’t even that bad.” Maureena pats your shoulder. 

“I literally was forbidden from ever interviewing again because it was so bad.”

“Because Eric hates women,” says Greta. “It’s not your fault he’s a horrible human being. Give it, like, a year or so until he croaks. Then they’ll let you back in the game.”

“Uh huh,” you say, feeling very harrowed. 

You remain in this state of abject terror for the entire opener performance. The nausea doesn’t subside. It only gets worse when you realize that if you actually puke, Ellie’s definitely going to see it. Just like she’s going to see you, with the stupid stars Greta had insisted you paint on your cheekbones with glittery eyeliner and eyeshadow. 

“She really likes space,” Greta had told you while you’d been getting ready, pretending like you didn’t already know all about this. “So all of her fans wear star stuff to see her.”

Before you can think to wipe off the glitter, everything goes black. Then the crowd goes wild. 

When the silvery blue light spills onto the stage, it illuminates Ellie, standing just a number of feet away from you. You barely have enough time to take in the black leather coat and loose white shirt she’s wearing before music explodes out of the speakers, her fingers flying up and down the fretboard. 

You’re spellbound as you watch her. Her voice rings loud and clear and slightly gravelly when it snags on her words. She’s nothing at all like the girl you’d met a month ago—there’s no discomfort, no awkwardness. She looks like she’s born to be on stage. 

When the first song ends, she steps back, grabbing the standing mic next to her. 

“Uh. Hi,” she says, and it’s so endearingly nervous compared to how she’d just sounded that something in your chest twists. She rubs the back of her neck. “I’m Ellie.”

Greta and Maureena join the crowd, screaming and cheering. 

“I LOVE YOU!” someone shrieks, louder than everyone else.

“You know,” she says, “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to people reacting like this to me just, like, saying my name. It’s really fucking weird. Oh. Shit. Sorry. Are you guys okay with me swearing?” 

The roar that comes from the crowd is entirely undecipherable. 

“Right,” says Ellie. “Um. I’ll take that as a yes. Sorry to anyone who brought their kids or something. Anyway, this one’s about the ex who cheated on me and gave me mono.” 

Before you can react to that, she starts playing. 

As she proceeds through the setlist, you’re struck by just how close you are to her, how many things you can notice that hardly anyone else in the crowd can see. You see the outline of her phone in her pocket, the pieces of hair that have fallen out of her little half bun and are sticking to her face, the way that the glitter on her collarbones trails down her shirt in little rivulets. 

And, above everything else, you can see the horrible way her fingers straddle the fretboard, curling and pressing with ease so practiced it looks tender. 

Apart from this bad, bad development (you can feel your mind going a million miles an hour about things you should not be thinking about), things are going great. Ellie hasn’t noticed you. Or even looked in your direction. You’re not even sure she can see you, given how little light is shed onto the crowd. The false sense of security makes you feel comfortable singing along with Greta and Maureena, your lips forming the lyrics you’d been pretending to not listen to whenever her songs came on. 

It happens during a slower song, a sort of ballad that makes your heart thud harder in your chest to hear from her mouth. The lights on stage dim a little. Light spills just the slightest onto the front of the crowd, and Ellie’s eyes fall and snap onto yours so decisively that it almost feels audible. 

For a moment, you can’t breathe. Ellie’s voice suddenly catches mid-word, faltering and missing a beat. She thrusts her hand with the mic into the crowd, which eagerly picks up where she left off and finishes the verse. 

It’s impossible to see on the screen projecting her image behind her, but you can see the flicker of recognition in her eyes, the stiffness that comes with realizing that you actually know someone from somewhere. 

You’re the one who breaks eye contact, focused with a sudden intensity on the way the thin fabric of your sleeves are situated on your arms. 

Greta pokes you so hard in your ribs that you gasp. 

“What the fuck!” you snap, but the words are swept away by the noise around you. 

“Why didn’t you wave?!” she hisses in your ear. “She totally recognized you.”

The realization falls over you with the subtlety of an anvil. Oh my god. You totally should’ve waved. That was the normal, well-adjusted thing to do. Now she was going to think you were weird. And it was too late now. But she didn’t wave to you. Wasn’t she supposed to wave first? Because you of course remembered her, but she might not remember you. Yeah. You could go with that.

Maybe she didn’t remember you. 

You can’t relax for the rest of the concert. You try your best to just act normal and dance along with your friends and casually mouth the words, but it’s hard when it feels like she’s staring at you. Which is completely impossible. The light doesn’t fall back onto the crowd until the concert is over and Ellie and her band are long gone backstage. 

~

Two months later, all you can think about is the way that Ellie stuttered over her words when she saw you in the crowd. Of course, this is definitely something you’ve made up in your mind, because there’s a number of reasons why she might’ve slipped up. Maybe she just thought she knew you from somewhere and couldn’t place it. That’s why she (allegedly) kept looking in your direction afterwards. Or maybe you’re completely batshit insane, and she didn’t look at you at all. Because if she had, wouldn’t she have waved? Right?

It’s almost bad enough to distract you from work. You find yourself prowling on Twitter, watching the #elliewilliams tag blow up following every concert date. It doesn’t give you any clarity, because in every picture, she looks just as perfect and cool and confident as she was at the LA show. You don’t know why you assumed she’d look different if it was true that she’d recognized you. More human, maybe. But she’s just as bathed in starlight as she was that night many weeks before, just as far away and untouchable. 

You spend so much time thinking about her that you’re convinced you might’ve slipped into a dream when Eric appears at your cubicle with the news.

Instead of saying hello, he plops a stack of papers on the desk in front of you, all labeled “PopNow! Interview Etiquette”. 

“Excuse me?” you say. 

“Start reading up, kid,” says Eric. “You’re back in the game.”

“What?” 

“You have an interview scheduled later this week.” He scowls down at you, gum smacking in his mouth. He smells faintly of tobacco. 

“But I thought I was removed from—”

“You still are,” he says. “But someone requested you. Their manager told us they wouldn’t talk to us if they didn’t get you.”

“What?” 

He huffs out a short laugh. “Believe me, I was surprised too. Don’t know what they’re on about after the last time you talked to their client. Fuck this one up and you’re out, okay? Got it? The info’s in your inbox already.” 

Somehow the words don’t quite sink in until you open the email and see the words on paper. 

SENDER: Maria Miller

RECIPIENT: Eric Bal

CC: [email protected], y/ny/l/n@popnow!.com

Eric,

Great to hear back from you. Glad that 3 next Wednesday works. 

Best,

MM

final a/n: lmk how u guys feel about this...feeling a little unsure about where this is going but enjoying writing it anyway there are two wolves inside of me etc. etc. also ive missed u all! i hope everyone is doing well! dont b shy!

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x oc #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams self insert #ellie williams fluff

[toppersjeep]

Chapter 9- All For Love Charles Leclerc

Masterlist

Elena’s POV

“So are you nervous for this race” Lando said. “A bit I mean if I win I’m world champion” I said. “And if Max wins” Lando said. “I mean hey no female has made it this far so I’m excited” I said. “You should be I’m proud of you and I know Charles is” Lando said I smiled.

“Speaking of love you told Addie you love her” I asked. “Yeah I did but I’m worried that she hates me” Lando said. “She doesn’t hate you” I said. “She hasn’t spoken to me since” Lando said. “Pato broke up with her” I said.

“Oh I had no idea” Lando said. “And Lando.. make a big gesture I’m sure she’d love it” I said. “Like what” Lando said. “Just go kiss her dummy go tell her you love her” I said. “Do I bring her flowers or something” Lando said.

“Obviously Lando” I said. “Okay I’m on it thank you I don’t know what I’d do without you” Lando said hugging me. “Your welcome lando now go” I said he smiled and ran off.

“That was very sweet” Charles said. “I had to push him you know” I said. “They’ll get there” Charles said. “Hey Ellie” Daniel said sitting beside me. “Charles they need us for filming” Carlos said. “Alright I’ll be back love” Charles said kissing my cheek.

“Have fun” I said. Charles left.

“So my little sister engaged before me” Daniel said. “You’ll get there” I said. “But how” Daniel said. “You’ll find someone special Danny” I said. “After you I don’t know how too” Daniel said. “Dan” I said. “You have no idea how much I” Daniel said looking at me.

“We can’t do this here” I said walking away. “Elena wait” Daniel said running after me. He and I found a spot to talk with nobody and no cameras around. “Daniel what is it” I said. “I shouldn’t have said what I said or pushed you away from me” Daniel said.

“Wasn’t this all because of Charles you said” I said. “A little bit Elena but” Daniel said. “What was there something more” I asked looking at Daniel. “I don’t know I was scared of that next step” Daniel said. “Your so young Elena you have your whole life ahead of you” Daniel said.

“Daniel” I said. “Your 25 years old would you have really settled down” Daniel said. “So you just ran away from it and made an excuse” I said. “Elena there was so much going on” Daniel said. “But you still could’ve just” I said.

“Part of me always knew you loved him too Elena” Daniel said cupping my cheek. “Dan” I said tearing up. “When you love something sometimes you gotta let it go” Daniel said. “How’d Joss know” I said. “He mentioned that.. I wanted to marry you huh” Daniel said.

“Yeah is that really true” I said looking at him. “I know you hate your father.. but yes I asked him permission” Daniel said. “And your Mom too but I chickened out” Daniel said. I couldn’t find the words to say as he looked at me.

“I should go get ready for the race Ellie but.. I guess I thought it would’ve been you and I” Daniel said. “But.. hey if he’s the one person you want… I get it” Daniel said.

“But please just know how much I love you.. and I always will” he said kissing my head. He then walked away. I just stood there for a minute trying to collect my thoughts.

I wiped my tears and walked back out to find everyone else. But I bumped into someone. It was April. I had no idea she was standing there.

“April” I said. “Make the right decision this time” April said walking away from me. But what exactly was the right decision here.

Later that day…

It was the final two laps of the race. I was leading. Charles was behind. And Daniel was in third place. Max had been pushed back to fourth.

“Elena one more lap” Bono said. “Bono” I said. “Yes Elena car is good is something wrong” Bono asked. “Umm how far away is Daniel from passing Charles” I said.

“He’s got an opportunity soon” Bono said. “Alright” I said. “Why” Bono said. “Curiosity I guess” I said. “Elena this is your race” Bono said. “But what if I don’t deserve it or them” I said.

“If your asking for love advice not my job Elena” Bono said. “Bono no” I said. “Okay good” Bono said I laughed. “Elena just follow your heart and win this race please” Toto said over the radio. “Copy that Bono” I said.

I finally made it across the line. I had done it. I was the world champion. For the first time in my career.

“Holy shit I did it” I said . “Elena you are the world champion dear” Bono said. “Let’s go” I said yelling. “You did it Elena we are all so proud of you” Toto said. “Congrats Elena” Mick said. “I couldn’t have done it without you guys I love you all” I said finally stopping the car at the number one spot.

I got out taking my helmet off. I then ran over to hug the team.

“Let’s go Elena” the team yelled. “So so proud” Bono said I smiled. “Amazing amazing race” Toto said. I looked over at Charles and Daniel giving each other a handshake. Charles had kept P2 and Daniel P3.

I still didn’t know what to do or say. Charles walked over and hugged me.

“I’m so proud of you my love” Charles said kissing my cheek. “Thank you char” I said. “Your mom would be so proud” Charles said I teared up. “I hope so” I said he hugged me again. “We definitely have to celebrate” Charles said.

“Yeah we do” I said. “I’ll let you see everyone else love” Charles said walking over to Lando and Addie. I then walked over to Daniel. He hugged me and picked me up spinning me around I laughed.

“I’m beyond proud of you and impressed” Daniel said setting me down. “Easy there” I said. “You deserve this and so much Elena” Daniel said. “Thank you” I said. “I’ve always been your biggest fan you know” he said I laughed.

“Yeah you have” I said. “And I always will I’m never going anywhere” he whispered in my ear. “You deserve this win and so many more Ellie” he said just so I could hear. “Hate to break up the reunion” Max said. “You can bother your sister” Daniel said. “Hey” I said. “Great race” Max said.

“You too” I said. “Well if I had to lose to someone I’m glad it was you” Max said. “Oh” I said. “I’m still better but your getting up to my level” he said I laughed. “So you saying I’m almost as good as you” I said.

“Yeah you are I guess Elle” Max said. “Well thank you Max” I said. “Hey we may fight sometimes but I do love you.. you are my sister” Max said. “I guess I love you sometimes” I said he hugged me.

“I know you do but seriously you always have me and Kelly we are family” Max said. “And Penelope” Kelly said I smiled. “Can’t forget p of course” Max said. “Thank you both” I said.

“Of course” Max said walking away. “And Elena.. not my place but they both love you” Kelly said. “You heard” I said. “Yes I did but if someone risked there life for me… I’d never let them go” Kelly said. I looked at Charles. “But Daniel” I said. “Your stuck aren’t you” Kelly said. “Yes” I said.

“Whatever you decide I know it will be the right decision just do what makes you happy” Kelly said.

I then walked over to Charles. “Oh did you hear these two… I then kissed Charles. Daniel gave me a look.

“What was that for love not that I’m mad” Charles said. “I just had too” I said. “Well I liked that” Charles said. “What were you saying” I said. “Lando finally asked Addie out” Charles said.

“Oh thank god” George said. “It’s about time” I added. “Well Elena gave me good advice” Lando said. “That’s what Elena does” Daniel said looking at me. “She’s the best Charles” Addie said. “I know she is” Charles said.

“She always has been” Daniel said walking away. “What is it something I said” Charles said. “No I’ll be right back” I said walking after him. I then followed him into the Red Bull paddock. “What Elena” Daniel said.

“I don’t get you” I said. “And I don’t understand what you want from me” Daniel said. “I don’t know what I want” I said. “Just .. make it easier Elena” Daniel said. “I can’t” I said. “I don’t know either Elena I can’t help you” Daniel said.

I then looked at something on his shelf. It was next to the picture of him and I. A small little box.

“Dan” I said looking at it he grabbed it. “You know I had it all planned out for you” Daniel said sitting on his bed. “For this specific weekend you know” Daniel said. “I” I said. “I knew you’d win and on that podium I was gonna” Daniel said looking at the ring.

“Hell.. I was gonna” he said wiping his tears. “Danny” I said. “It’s not my place anymore clearly” Daniel said. “I’m sorry” I said. “It’s not your fault Elena” Daniel said. “Maybe it is” I said turning away from him. “Elena if I were to ask you what would you have said” Daniel said.

“Daniel I just” I said turning around. To see him holding the ring up. “I don’t care about Charles right now but Elena this feels right to me” Daniel said. “All I want is you” Daniel said.

“Dan” I said looking at him. “Elena I knew for ever ago that I wanted to marry you” Daniel said. “And I know part of you still loves me so I’m asking you right now” Daniel said. “Elena Lynn Verstappen will you marry me” Daniel said getting down on one knee.

The door the opened. And Charles was standing there. He looked at both of us. Nobody said anything to each other. We all exchanged looks.

“Oh Daniel … I see we had similar plans for this evening” Charles said.

#fanfic #love #lewis hamilton #lando norris #f1 imagine #daniel ricciardo #x reader #charles leclerc #daniel riccardo x reader #red bull f1 #f1 x reader #charles leclerc x reader #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen #mercedes amg f1 #lewis hamilton x reader #lando x reader #lando norris smut #charles lechair #lando norris x reader #formual one #pato o'ward #charles leclerc smut

[allmoshnobrain]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

part 35 of 35 | masterpost

word count: 2599 | ao3 link | fic's playlist

✦ on this chapter: james hetfield x female!oc, dave mustaine x female!oc, oc is cliff's cousin, +18, language, slice of life, romance, a happy ending of sorts

✧ I'm alright here in your arms, darlin' ✧

The weekend zipped by, and before I knew it, Monday had arrived again. Going back to Long Beach and parting ways with Cliff and the boys could've made me a bit sad, but the silver lining was that they were gearing up to pay me a visit soon; everyone was planning to catch my play the next weekend, and to top it off, of course they’d invited me to visit them in Denmark during the new album recordings. 

I'd likely be tied up for a bit, getting my ducks in a row for the start of my art studies, but I'd given my word to James I'd come hang out with them for at least a week. As soon as those words slipped out, he showered me with fiery kisses, his hands all over my body, gently urging me with his touch to change my mind and stick around just a little bit longer than planned.

I snuffed out my cigarette on the balcony rail the moment I spotted my dad's Mercedes rolling down the street. James let out a low whistle, clearly impressed by the sight, his hand wrapped around my waist.

"So, on top of the badass bike, you roll in this sweet ride too?" he inquired, and I chuckled.

"Dad's wheels, James. He doesn’t even let me near it ever since I totaled the last one."

Dad pulled up to the curb, and there was Mom, chilling shotgun, arm out the window with a cigarette in hand. He honked, and I hunched down to grab my backpack with a sigh. Quick goodbyes to Cliff, Lars, and Kirk followed before I turned to James.

"See you next week," I grinned, and James strolled over, snagging my waist before planting a long kiss on my mouth, making me blush like crazy. "James! My parents are watching!"

"So what?" he laughed, then dropped another soft kiss on my lips, saying, "Catch you next week, Nore. I'll miss you."

I let out a big sigh, my face on fire as I made my way to the car, yanking open the back door and dodging Dad's curious look in the rearview mirror.

"Oh God," Mom groaned dramatically, taking a slow drag of her cig, eyes locked on James, who was flashing a smile, chilling against the balcony railing. "It's always the long-haired ones, isn't it?"

I ignored her, cheeks still burning, and stared out the window as Dad revved up the car, leaving my friends behind.

"We've got one last thing to handle in San Francisco before we head home, Ellie," Dad chimed in all cheerful. "Hope you don’t mind coming with us."

I blinked, intrigued, and gave a nod. We cruised around the city for a bit until we hit a cute street with a bunch of wooden townhouses. Dad pulled up in front of one, and we hopped out. He fished out a key, popped the door open, and we stepped into an empty space.

I furrowed my brow, kinda puzzled, but tagged along as Mom and Dad showed me the place, enthusiastically talking about how good the neighborhood was. The house was indeed beautiful, with a big backyard, a tiny pool out back with a BBQ spot, three bedrooms and two baths upstairs, and downstairs, two living rooms, a bath and a big kitchen, along with a garage and a basement.

"So?" my dad asked after we wrapped up the tour. "Decent house, right?"

"A bit basic, but I guess it'll work," my mom threw in.

"Work for what?" I chimed in, now seriously puzzled. She huffed, and Dad shot me a grin.

"For you, obviously! You're coming back to San Francisco soon, right?" He reached out, handing me the keys. "It's yours."

"Dad… What do you mean, it's mine?" I blurted out, surprise heavy in my voice. "You're not telling me you guys..."

"We bought the house, of course," my mom replied, and I widened my eyes. "I think it'll be a good starting point for you, don't you think? Much better than that little apartment you had in LA."

"But this... Mom! " I blurted out, panicking at my parents' extravagance. "It's too big! What am I supposed to do with all this space?"

"Oh, we thought you could share it with Cliff and your friends," Dad chimed in, like it was the most obvious thing. "There's enough room for everyone, don't you think?"

I blinked, perplexed, staring at the keys Dad had handed me. Things are changing at warp speed for us, Nore. Cliff's words seemed to echo in my mind, and I realized they were true. Life had flipped upside down in the past year, big time. What was waiting for me in the future? Where was I headed? I had no clue.

But for the first time in forever, I wasn't scared to find out.

"Oh, right!" Dad smiled. "We had the basement soundproofed. It'll be great for the band’s rehearsals, don't you think?"

I just stared at him for a second, then out of nowhere, walked up and hugged him. Dad chuckled, looking a bit surprised but didn't miss a beat returning the hug. When I pulled away, Mom was watching us with a rare little smile on her lips.

"You've grown a lot, Ellie," my dad smiled.

"We're proud of you," my mom added, softly.

If this was a dream, I sure didn't want anyone waking me up.

Backstage at the theater, the usual chaos would get my nerves going, especially for a play I hadn't drilled as much as I probably should've. But weirdly, not this time. When the big day rolled in, a serene calm took over. Maybe it was the joint some of the crew had passed around before we kicked off play prep, or maybe I was just pumped as hell about reuniting with James, Cliff, Lars, Kirk, and Leanne real soon.

"Nore, you look beautiful!" Charlotte beamed, grabbing my hands, and I couldn't help but notice that the same was true for her as well; she had on the play's costume – a gorgeous green dress making her eyes pop, curly brown hair all braided and falling down her right shoulder, shiny makeup adorning her face.

I hadn't checked myself out in the mirror yet, but I knew I'd be rocking something similar – a bomb short shiny blue dress, my hair done up in a fancy bun with a few strands casually framing my face.

"I'm seriously over the moon that everything fell into place. Thanks a bunch, really," she said with genuine warmth. I couldn't help but grin, seeing how pumped Charlie was, understanding this meant the world to her.

"Hey, you'd do the same for me, right?" I tossed back, and she flashed a smile. "Feeling the nerves?"

"Oh, you've got no clue!" she burst out. "I'm gonna need another one of those joints the second we step off that stage."

"I'm down. Just hit me up, and we'll blaze together," I teased, throwing a wink her way. She cracked up, loud and free.

The play kicked off real quick, the lights in the theater dimming, the chaos backstage and the audience hushing up as the first beats of the musical soundtrack kicked in. I hung behind the curtain, catching Charlotte's opening monologue, biding my time for the cue to hit the stage.

Once I stepped out there, all my worries, pains, and nerves just melted away like pure magic.

I had always loved visual arts, but theater always had its own sweet spot in my heart too. The crazy rehearsals that used to be part of my life in High School had done more than just boost my confidence; they’d helped me make friends and fill the void Cliff left when he moved to another city. Rehearsing for a play was fun, but nothing beat that kickass feeling coursing through me when I owned the stage, knowing all the hard work had paid off.

When my bit wrapped up, I risked a peek at the crowd on my way out. A faint grin hit my lips when I spotted Cliff, Leanne, Lars, Kirk, James, and even Mom and Dad in the second row. I locked eyes with Cliff for a moment, and he smiled, the pride shining in his eyes warming my heart with happiness.

I popped up a few more times during the play, but the real star of the show was Charlotte. She hit us all in the feels with her performance, bringing most of the crowd to tears by the end of her story. When the crew gathered on stage for the applause, I noticed that even my mom seemed moved, a gorgeous smile on her face that made her look years younger.

I always figured I took after my dad more, but right then, seeing my mom genuinely happy and touched, it hit me like a ton of bricks that, shockingly, we looked way more alike than I’d ever let myself admit.

The scene after the play was a total whirlwind; we were all throwing hellos, hugs, and compliments around, and Charlotte was practically buzzing with joy at every little pat on the back for her killer performance. Later on, we ditched the fancy gear and chipped in with the stage crew, sorting out whatever needed sorting. It took me almost an hour to finally wiggle my way out from backstage, and there they all were: my friends and my parents, patiently waiting for me. I let out a soft chuckle when Cliff snagged me into a hug. 

"You killed it," he whispered, grinning. "So damn proud of you, Nore."

Once all the hugs and grins were done, it was party time. Charlotte was set to hang with the cast, but Leanne, the guys, and I had our own shindig by the pool lined up. Dad was on chauffeur duty, driving Mom, Leanne and me home. Cliff would roll in after, bringing James, Lars, and Kirk along for the ride.

"Well, shall we go then? I asked Alice to get the heated pool ready for you, and the coolers are already stocked with drinks," my dad tossed out, looking as excited as I was.

"Heated pool ," James teased, whispering in my ear, his arm pulling me in close. "What's next? You gonna tell me you're secretly royalty?"

"Are you intimidated, by any chance?" I quipped, arching an eyebrow. He grinned, planting a light kiss on my cheek.

"By you? Never," he shot back, and I gave him a playful shove. That just made him laugh.

Leanne and I got home first. Quick pit stop in the bathroom to slap on our swimsuits, and then, we were both pool-ready. When we hit the pool deck, Cliff, James, Lars, and Kirk had just arrived. I couldn't help but grin at the sight – Kirk and Lars had gone all in, cannonballing into the pool with their clothes on, splashing everyone in sight. They were all laughs, not a care in the world. James, shirtless, was whipping up a couple of drinks and talking with Cliff, who was already puffing away on a cigarette. Leanne and I strolled up, and she wrapped her arms around Cliff, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm itching to dive into that pool," Leanne chirped, all hyped, and Cliff flashed a smile. "Ready to make a splash?"

Off they went, leaving me to lean on the table, checking out James finishing up the drinks.

"I tried whipping up a Cosmopolitan," he spilled, handing one over with a grin. "Not sure it's a masterpiece, though. I'm clueless about these fancy drinks, but I wanted to impress my girl. Figured you deserved it."

My girl. I blushed at his words, my heart doing somersaults, a goofy grin spreading across my face. I took the drink, had a sip, and crinkled my nose – tasted like a bit too much vodka, truth be told.

"It's basically a Vodkapolitan," I quipped, and he cracked up. "But hey, you know you don't need fancy drinks to impress me, right?"

"So, what do I need, then?" he asked, sliding in closer with a grin, hand resting on the small of my back. I shot him a smile.

"Not much. You're already rocking it, Hetfield."

He burst into a big laugh, wrapping his arms around my waist and planting a sweet kiss on my shoulder.

"How's your heart doing?" he asked. "Still missing Dave?"

I could read between the lines of his question. Do you still love him? Do you still want to be with him? Can I surrender to what I’m feeling? Can I hope you feel the same?

"Yeah," I sighed. No point in hiding that. No point in pretending. If there was one thing I’d figured out in the past year, it was that sweeping feelings under the rug and dodging the tough talks just lead to trouble. "I don't know if I'll ever stop missing him, James. And I need to find him. You understand that?"

"Absolutely," he said, grabbing my hand, our fingers weaving together.

"But I love you too," I said, and he flashed a soft smile. "And honestly, I'm done wrestling with that."

"Well, I love you right back," he grinned, his arms wrapped around my waist. I rested my hands on his chest, our foreheads touching. "Just gotta remember what Cliff told me and I’ll be okay."

"What?" I chuckled. "What's the Cliff wisdom?"

"That if I ever hurt you, he'd land a swift kick to my balls," he spilled, and I cracked up, throwing my head back. I sighed happily as he leaned in, planting a gentle kiss on my neck. "But, for the record, I have zero plans of hurting you. You know that, yeah?"

"Appreciate the thoughtfulness," I shot back with a smile, and he burst into laughter.

Later, when we were all a bit tipsy and wiped out, we ended up talking and laughing together over some brews. I smiled fondly, soaking in the sight; Lars and Kirk passing a smoke between them, still chilling in the pool with their arms draped over the edge. Cliff posted up in a chair, Leanne casually braiding a lock of his hair, perched on his lap while he slung an arm around her waist, nursing a half-empty beer. And James, right next to me, his hand resting on my waist, dropping lazy kisses on my neck when he thought no one would see.

It was perfect.

Finally, after all those months, I felt whole.

I wasn't the same girl who’d hopped on a bus to San Francisco that winter of '83. Life had tossed me around, and I’d come out the other side a different breed. I knew I would always love Dave, that I wouldn't rest until I found him, until I explained everything, until I knew he knew the truth, the depth of my love for him. I knew I would never stop missing him.

But there was also James. And James loved me. Where would that road lead? Man, it was a whole new territory, nothing like what I felt for Dave. Yet, I wasn’t afraid, 'cause I had James in my corner. My friends were there, Cliff too. Hell, even my parents were trying to be nice to me this time, and I appreciated it more than I could say.

Change was blowing in the wind. Everything felt fresh, but guess what? This time, I wasn't sad, scared, or angry.

Everything was perfect.

And I was happy.

✧ if you'd like to be tagged on the next parts, let me know and I'll add you to the tag list! ❤ ✧

tag list: @killazilla777 @whatsupvic @70srogah @genswine9 @twice360noscope

✦ a/n: James and Nore had their happy ending, but what will happen when Dave comes back into Nore's life? You guys will know all about this in the epilogue, I promise!

I just gotta say, it means the world to me that I managed to finish this whole story, and I'm beyond grateful for all the love and support from everyone who's been following along. I'm so, so thankful from the bottom of my heart for all the nice comments and interactions and I really hope you've enjoyed following Nore's journey as much as I loved writing it ❤

About the epilogue, I had to split it into more than one part, because I didn't want to rush anything or leave anything unanswered. It turned out way bigger than I imagined it would 😭 And I'm not done writing it yet, but it's all planned so I know it's gonna be either.... 5 or 6 parts.... I'm really sorry for being such a verbose writer, it's more of a small sequel at this point lol

I will take a short break from posting this Monday and will start posting the epilogue next Friday, hopefully keeping the same posting schedule unless I get too busy to write or post on time.

Big thanks to everyone who stuck with the story this far! Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. See you next Friday! ❤🌸💗💖✨

#ada writes fanfiction #heartbreaker fanfic #metallica #megadeth #james hetfield #dave mustaine #cliff burton #lars ulrich #metallica fanfiction #dave mustaine x oc #dave mustaine fanfiction #nore burton (oc) #james hetfield x oc #metallica x reader #megadeth x reader #james hetfield x reader #dave mustaine x reader #metallica smut #megadeth smut #james hetfield smut #dave mustaine smut #cliff burton x reader #megadeth fanfiction #david ellefson #kirk hammett #megadeth x you #metallica x you #dave mustaine x you #james hetfield x you

[pauking5]

Addicting Taste Chapter 8

Synopsis: Enishi Yukishiro was on a mission to execute his piece de la resistance. A plan to avenge his beloved sister. Until you showed up. Will you be a part of his downfall or will you try to save him?

Pairing: Enishi Yukishiro x reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, sunshine and sunshine protector, comedic relief, angst, slow burn, some fluff

Word count: 14k+

A/N: Welp, she's a long one but she's a good one. It could be taken as a filler but she's important to the story so I hope it's not too much of a nuisance read. Also, give a big welcome to none other than Sword Hunter, Cho Sawagejo. He was so bleak in the story it took me this long just to rewrite his character. He's important to the story so take this as his introduction! Chapter 9 is coming too and she's wild. Enjoy lovelies, Paula.

Now Playing: beating heart - ellie goulding.

Previous

"Miyu?"

No fucking way.

Is this some sick joke?

Of all people, he wasn't supposed to be here.

"Cho?"

Cho Sawagejo. Known as the Sword Hunter and one of the former Ten Swords, used to fight against the Meiji government. Additionally, he was an old friend of yours... sort of. The fact that history ran deep between you two was the understatement of the century.

Your hand froze on the golden doorknob, mouth hung open in shock to see him after all these years. Memories of him fired one after another in your head the more you looked at him, including those you tried really hard to forget. Your mouth moved on its own trying to make some sense of what you were seeing, but all that came out was whispers of his name. A name you wanted to forget for as long as you lived.

Snapping out of it you noticed he seemed to be in a bit of a situation, which was something normal for him, considering how you met each other.

4 years ago

Life was a constant fight for survival. You escaped the fighting rings in Edo but you did so at the cost of having to fend for yourself in the only way you knew: killing.

A rookie assassin, with barely enough training, murdering to stay alive. You barely got hired because your face said you didn't have experience like others did. But once they saw what you could do with two pistols and a heart that was hungry for mayhem they instantly hired you.

As much as you wanted to do something else with your life, you couldn't. You lived with the sole goal of finding your parents, even if it meant destroying your soul in the process.

There were times where your appetite got insatiable and you killed more than you needed to. It was where Barairo got her reputation from, Yokohama's crimson rose turning into a twisted bloodthirsty demon.

The only advantage of letting her out was that it made getting some of the jobs done easier. Though the stench of her blood soaked claws haunted you every night together with your usual nightmares.

You worked on yourself trying to limit her vengeful spirit so you could focus properly on missions. Little by little, she retracted back in her cage and all that was left was you. A woman so sure of herself that nothing could stop her.

Until you met him and all of that went to shit.

You got the job to kill a really well-known conman who got on the nerves of the wider business community in Osaka. He stole a lot of money from them and it was to no surprise most of them wanted his head on a pike. Multiple people got hired starting a hunt for him but there was a catch. Whoever got the job done first was rewarded with half of the stolen money. You had to move fast if you wanted to be first. Because you wanted it badly.

The plan was simple: get in his highly secured villa, put a bullet through his skull and be on your way. But things didn't work exactly like you wanted them to.

Come on now, did they ever? It's a Miyu Hikari tradition at this point.

You staked out the man's mansion for a full 24 hours under the scorching heat of the summer sun. Every time you wanted to go in and get the job done, a flurry of guards would round the grounds and you had to move spots constantly. Sweat trickled down your back in waves, clothes drenched to the brim from just sitting in the bushes. Summer was definitely not your favorite season, especially when you had jobs like this to do.

Finally, when the night let out you managed to advance. Infiltrating inside was a fluke, easily taking out the small number of guards on night duty. Checking for any more of them in all rooms at the bottom floor, you made your way to the top floor where his master bedroom was located. Getting a little distracted by completing the mission, bags of steaming dumplings occupying your mind more than the mission at hand, you failed to see the incoming competition.

You just rounded the top of the stairs when something clanged against the window behind you. You turned around in a heartbeat, guns held out ready to pull the triggers. Intuition told you to put multiple holes through whoever it was until you got a better look at him.

There he was, one leg in and two sharp katanas held between his teeth, trying to balance his way inside the mansion. You lowered your weapons as your curiosity piqued by the man before you. You retracted to a dark corner away from his line of sight, silently snickering at his struggle. The moment he finally got himself through the threshold and thudded to the floor making the loudest noise possible triggered a fit of giggles from you you couldn't keep inside anymore. If the guards were still alive and breathing they would have had his ass so fast.

Once he heard you, he got back to his feet and made quick movement to hold one of his katanas to your throat. You stopped laughing and put your hands up in fake surrender deciding to mock him a little.

"Who are you?"

"Someone on the same mission as you. You're kinda late to the party though."

Seeing as you weren't too much of a threat, he put down his sword. He cleared his throat to sound more sure of himself than he appeared to be and smoothed a hand over his hair that was sat in all directions, including his mouth. He looked harmless without his katana unsheathed. If this was your competition you surely held yourself a lot better in the short time you've been working the field.

"Thank you for the clean up, but I'll take it from here."

I just gave you the benefit of the doubt dude. Turns out I was wrong.

"I think the fuck not."

Pointing your pistols his way, you got ready to defend your territory. There was no way you would let this rando of all people steal your moment after you did most of the work.

He flashed you a smirk and in the blink of an eye vanished. Confused, you spun around to see the door to the master bedroom opened. It was way too dark but once your eyes focused on the shadow lurking above the man tucked in bed with his katanas ready to slice him open, you panicked. Thinking fast you aimed at the man the best you could in the pitch black, using the glimmer of light reflecting off the blade as guidance and took the shot. One of the blades intercepted your bullet just before it could hit the man, cutting it in half, leftover pieces of the bullet flying into the bed frame. You gasped in shock as he chuckled darkly.

"Nice try."

Beyond annoyed at him and determined to see this mission through, you put the guns back in their hold and got into a fighting stance.

"I was here first. I am not moving an inch before I kill him," you rasped.

He smirked and sheathed his sword, walking closer to you and mirroring your position.

"Fair enough. Let's see if you've got any real fight in you."

He went easy on you, thinking you couldn't fight him.

Terrible mistake.

The minute he came at you, you sent him flying to the other corner of the room, watching as his back hit a dresser tumbling down to the floor with him. He got up and lunged at you and you dodged all of his moves. When his punches got sloppy, it was your turn to swing at him, decorating his face with your fists. At one point your hits turned slower and he managed to lay down a few punches of his own. He caught you off guard and pushed you into the wall, hands digging hard into your arm as he pinned you to it. Amused at your struggle to break free, his head dipped down to your ear.

"Is that all you've got, princess?"

"Don't call me that ever again."

He pissed you off beyond coming back now. You growled and threw your head into his with all the force you had, throwing him off balance enough for him to release you and to drop down and swipe his legs from under him. As soon as he was flat on the ground you straddled him, pining his hands beside his head.

Trying to will some breath back into your lungs you looked at him and he looked at you for a while, taking in the damage you've both done to each other. One looked worse than the other, a broken nose gracing his face as payback for the cut lip he gave you.

His dark eyes had you in a trance. There was something about him that screamed danger but familiarity the more you looked at him. A weird feeling crawled up your spine and you couldn't help the sensation that something was really wrong. Snapping out of it, you straightened and got up from the floor, looking around at the mess you've caused. You wondered why the man wasn't awake and screaming for mercy or applauding the free fight show in his bedroom. You moved to the king sized bed in spite of the protests to continue the fight and examined the man tucked into bed. You pulled the duvet down from his face and the marks around his neck told you all you needed to know.

"Someone got the job done before us."

"What?"

He ran next to you following your pointed finger to the neck of the man who appeared to have been dead for a while. How did none of you notice this before?

"The guards were pretty much alive when I arrived. Whoever killed him must have been waiting for him here."

You pulled the curtains near the window so the light could filter in a little more. Truthful to your suspicion, there were no signs of forced entrance on the window sill or the door, so it had to be a job from the inside. Main conclusion was that you were left with a busted ego and you could kiss your precious dumplings goodbye for a while.

"Well, that's a bummer," he said, slumping against the wall. At least you weren't the only one disappointed.

"We should leave before more potential suitors want to decorate him and us as collateral damage."

You made a move for the door only to hear shouts and multiple pairs of boots rushing up the stairs.

We're in deep shit.

Closing the door, you tried to pull the wardrobe in front of it to block the men from entering. It was too heavy to push by yourself so he moved to help you. You successfully barricaded yourselves inside just as angry fists started banging on the door. You moved away from it and scanned the room for a way out. The big double window looked like the only viable option. You hesitated in even suggesting it as an escape route but he seemed to have other plans as you watched him run over to it and bust it open with a chair. Shards of glass flew everywhere on the floor and the banging on the door intensified. You rushed to the window where you were met with a five meter drop to a patch of grass smaller than your hopes and dreams at the moment.

Hell no, nuh-uh. I'm not playing the flying bird game.

He was out of his fucking mind if he thought that was a safe plan, but before you could say anything he just jumped out first with his katanas strapped to his back, swiftly landing on his feet. Your jaw dropped open.

Okay, so he is indeed out of his fucking mind.

He looked back at you, waiting for you to follow, but the way you gripped the curtains told him you weren't keen on jumping too. He couldn't leave you there when there was no telling how many men were behind that door that was now close to being torn open.

"Look, I know you don't know me, but I need you to trust me and jump the fuck out," he yelled at you, trying to get your attention away.

"You want me to trust you in willingly pivoting down to my death?"

"It sounds horrendous when you put it that way. I promise I will try to catch you."

Putting my life in the hands of a stranger who tried to kill me just a few moments ago? Not a chance. But I want to taste my favorite buns again, alive and breathing on this earth.

Getting on top of the windowsill, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, jumping out. Truthful to his promise, he caught you, falling down on the grass with you in his arms. He cushioned your fall and your head landed in the crook of his neck, his scent closing around you. He smelled like vanilla and lavender. The way he cushioned your fall made you think you were laying in a field of flowers but that might have just been the euphoria from the fall, pumping adrenaline through you.

You opened your eyes to be nose to nose with him, breaths meeting halfway. Through the messy blonde hair falling over his bandana, you noticed his eyes were actually a deep shade of brown as they bore into yours. You lifted your hand to brush his locks away halting when you heard more shouts and commotion behind you. Quickly, you got up and pulled him up too, bolting towards the gates. His hand intertwined with yours as you both ran until you reached town.

Finally stopping at the back of a shop you checked around for any sight of the men following, relieved to see none. You closed your eyes willing in a breath when you felt something weighing down your hand. You looked down and he followed your gaze to your hands that were still tightly locked together. He let go first, rubbing his neck nervously.

That's cute.

His touch ghosted on your finger tips and you cradled your hand close. You've never been this close to anyone before.

"That was eventful," he exhaled.

"Yeah. Thanks for catching me back there, uh..."

"It's Cho. And of course! Anytime, uh..."

"Miyu."

"Miyu," he said your name softly. "Well, Miyu, if you ever find yourself in a pickle or something like that again feel free to call on me."

He smiled genuinely at you this time, previous cocky smirk gone. It made you feel warm inside for some reason but you quickly shook that thought away.

"I'll make sure to call on you then."

A lot of time passed after your encounter. Summer turned to fall and winter. There were times where you laid awake at night and your mind drifted to him, contemplating his offer. He shouldn't be that hard to find if need be to have him help on a mission and it felt tempting to team up with someone else, especially since your fighting styles were so similar.

You finally met again a few times after you were both hired on other missions. You fought your way out of them together, often splitting the earnings. It turned out you made a really good team, your logical skills complementing his sword skills just right.

You started hanging out more and paired most of your missions together, getting to know more about each other. Soon enough, he turned into a part of your routine and you were inseparable, both on and off the field. You ate together, fought together and trained together.

He opened up about himself too. He told you why the Ten Swords fell to their demise with the new government and how he was left wandering for a while until he took up sketchy jobs like you. You told him a little about yourself and your mission to find your parents. He thought it was admirable to have a goal like that and eished he himself had one that righteous.

Over time, one thing led to another and you found yourself catching feelings for him. It was stupid really. He did the smallest things, like throwing you one of his crooked smiles full of mischief whilst stabbing someone who tried to attack you or getting you dumplings because he knew how much you liked them. You even started liking the annoying way in which he called you princess instead of your name, reatliating with a nickname of your own for him, blondie.

All these gestures were small, but you couldn't deny that they made you swoon. Your feelings only grew stronger the more you spent time with him and it took everything in you to work out the courage to confess to him.

But you never got to tell him how you felt.

And it was all his fault.

You spent years thinking of what you would say if you ever saw him again, only for all those words to erase themselves from your mind the minute you laid your eyes on him tonight.

He was tied to a chair in the middle of the room. A man sat in front of him most likely torturing him up to the moment you and Enishi entered. He was now turning around to you with a big knife in his hand, blood dripping from the blade onto the white carpet. You interrupted him and he didn't seem too happy about it because he quickly lunged at you. You wasted no time in kicking away the knife from his hand and knocking him out with a roundhouse kick.

"Fancy seeing you here, princess."

You sure didn't miss that nickname. As much as it grew on you back then, it made you beyond disgusted to hear it now.

"I wish I could say the same. Who did you piss off this time?"

"A lot of people as you can see," he spoke motioning to his body littered in cuts and bruises.

His white shirt, now a mix of dried blood and dirt, was torn in most places, just like his skin. Your eyes lingered over the cuts on his arms that appeared to be made with small knives. Your gaze stopped on the gash on his leg which was definitely the product of the knife you kicked away from the man's hand. It looked deep enough to drain a normal person.

But he wasn't a normal person.

"I hate to break up this reunion but we have more guests incoming," said Enishi rather alarmed. And he had every reason to be because you heard the rapid footsteps in the hallway most likely rushing to the room you were in. His hand latched on your arm in urgency to pull you towards the door but you froze.

"This feels oddly familiar," said Cho with a chuckle.

His face was so pale and devoid of colour that it scared you. He looked barely alive but he still carried that shit-eating grin on his face and it annoyed you to the world's end for some reason.

"Miyu, we have to go," pressed Enishi.

You looked at him then back to Cho. It wasn't in your nature to leave people behind, especially wounded people. Both of the men looked at you expectantly, one more desperate to get out of there than the other.

I can't leave him here. But I can't stay here either.

Your brain was already working at an inhumane speed trying to process everything. Once you made your mind up and opened your mouth to say something you got interrupted by the men pooling inside the room.

About ten of them circled you, lining up around the walls to push you towards the center of the room. You surrounded Cho defensively. He was tied to a chair and in no way fit to fight even a fucking fly. As much as you hated his guts you needed to protect him.

You pulled out your guns and scanned the men to see only half of them were armed. You looked at Enishi and he nodded at you telling you to open fire.

You shot at the armed men while Enishi launched at the others. You threw a table down and took cover behind it, shooting at them. You took out most of them before you ran out of bullets.

Oh, for fucks sake, I really need to carry refills with me.

You got out from behind your hiding spot and stretched your arms, preparing your fists.

Your first opponent was a fairly big guy that cornered you at a wall. He came at you with the intention to put you through the wall, but you were quicker and grabbed his hands, sliding between his legs to drag him after you. You kicked the back of his head and he fell forward, his own head going through the wall instead.

Another one spotted you and you broke into a sprint, using the wall to push yourself up and swing your leg in his face. He fell on his back getting the air kicked out of his lungs. It was one fo the aerial tricks Enishi taught you recently and it came in handy.

Enishi left a trail behind him. Most of the men on the floor were just slightly knocked out. He finished knocking the last two head to head and let them fall to the floor with a thud.

Seeing that he was safe, you turned and ran to Cho, untying him as fast as you could. The rope around his wrists was tied so tight it made them bleed. You stopped in your tracks slowly tracing your fingers over them. What the hell did they do to you? You bit your lip trying to keep yourself together. This was not the time to be soft.

"You don't have to take me with you," he grunted as you got his hands free. "I'll only slow you down."

You went and crouched in front of him looking him straight in the eye. The you back then told you to leave him here to suffer like he did to you. To let him get out of his own mess by his own two feet if he still held himself so prideful. But present you was not the like her.

He didn't deserve your help at all. But you knew the guilt coming with leaving him here would eat you up later. And you didn't need that right now.

Without saying a word, you got one of his arms and draped it around your shoulders to get him up. He groaned in pain when he put weight on his injured leg and you wrapped your arm around his waist to balance him better.

Did he get ripped or something? I swear he wasn't this heavy before.

Enishi looked at you nothing short of confused. His face told you he had a lot of questions. But yours looked conflicted to the point he was sure a hurricane was already brewing in your mind. He knew now was not the time for asking questions, considering there were five mafias willing to shish kebab the three of you without as much of a reason besides the fact that you breathed inside their territory. Getting out of this place as soon as possible was the priority.

He rushed to the other side of Cho and lifted his arm, helping you carry him. You looked at him and he locked eyes with you, reassuring you he had your back. Even if he had no idea what the fuck was going on. You sent him a grateful look and he nodded, a small smile of acknowledgment on his lips.

The three of you managed to slip out the back of the villa and you quickly got into the carriage, avoiding being seen by anyone. The ride back to the mansion turned from relief to utterly painful. For both you and the blonde bleeding out next to you. You kept patting his cheeks to keep him awake every time his head fell on your shoulder. Once you were sure he was conscious enough, you turned your head to the window getting lost in thought.

Cho being back resurfaced so many feelings and memories you tried so hard to drown out over the years and you could do nothing to stop the flood.

Screw me for wanting to help all the time. It only comes back to bite me in the ass anyways.

Another thing weighing hard on your heart was that you didn't find your mother tonight. Or any leads on where your parents could be. Oh, and apparently the man you interrogated, the one who was the only one who knew something about the whereabouts of your parents escaped, since most of the men on duty were mobilised for the ball in case shit went sideways. Conclusion, it was by far the shittiest you've ever felt.

The carriage stopped in front of the mansion and Enishi got down first holding his hand to you to help you down. But you were too worried about the other man bleeding on the beige carriage seats and got down by yourself, dragging him down after you.

Enishi was left behind as you hastily went inside. A weird combo of regret and sadness were spinning around his heart at everything that happened tonight. He knew you probably felt defeated about what went down and blamed yourself for the outcome. He needed to talk to you asap about everything. For now, he was going to give you the space you needed for a while to tend to your guest.

With a storm raging in your mind and a bleeding man supported solely by your shoulders, you trudged the hallways to an empty guest room. You found one two doors down from your room, in case he needed further assistance.

You pushed the doors open with a huff and helped him sit downon the bed, rushing to look for medical supplies. You scoured every drawer both in the room and the bathroom throwing everything on the floor in the process. You were growing anxious and angry at the fact that you didn't find anything you needed. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself you tried looking again through the mess on the floor and found what you needed. Chucking everything back to its place with shaky hands, you went back to him to start taking care of his wounds. You felt his stare at you as you started working on the cut on his cheek.

"It's good seeing you after all these years."

You say that as if we're the best of friends who went our own ways and just met up to talk over tea and biscuits.

You ignored his attempt at making conversation and helped him shimmy his way out of his shredded shirt as he grunted at the movement. He was held captive for a while, judging by the darkened bruises around his ribs.

"You look different," he continued, trying to get you to talk to him.

You tensed as you moved to patch up the bigger cuts on his arm.

What does different even mean in his vocabulary?

You didn't change that much. If anything you got better at detecting bullshit when you saw it. Looks wise you just looked better in the mirror and didn't have a bird's nest on your head anymore.

On the other hand, he looked absolutely the same as the last time you saw him, with a slight upgrade to his wardrobe choices, plus a few muscles here and there. His hair was a darker shade of blonde now, unfitting for the nickname you used to call him by.

"Is that a good or a bad thing?" you asked absentmindedly, trying to humour him for the sake of conversation and to take the edge of a little.

He dipped his head down to the side you were patching his arm and took a proper look at you.

You were different since the last time he saw you.

Your hair was longer, curling around your shoulders ever so slightly. You held yourself a lot more confidently than he knew you to be. But the thing that changed the most about you was your eyes. He used to be able to tell what was going through your head by just one look. Now, they were rougher and didn't let him in like they used to. It wasn't that you were hiding. You just closed yourself off entirely, at least to him.

"That wild spark in your eyes is gone. That's what I liked the most about you."

You narrowed your eyes at him and it took everything in your power not to snap at him. Tell him everything that's been weighing on your heart. Shoot words at him hoping he would understand the pain he put you through. But you had to keep it together so you settled for some sarcasm as you tied one of the bandages a bit tight on his arm.

"So what? I'm not to your standards now?"

The big gash on his leg was the last thing left unbandaged and you moved to it to get it done and be out of the door. But god forbid something could go the way you wanted today because he leaned forward to catch your hand.

The sharp inhale of air you took was to ground you from exploding. You noticed his touch was still the same one that used to make you shiver with butterflies.

Cho was a touchy person and it only added to your feelings back then. It made your insides twist remembering the effect it had on you.

"That's not what I meant."

You tried to avoid his eyes but you couldn't do it, letting them find his. You were surprised to see them filled with nothing but sincerity.

"Look, I'm sorry."

Oh, hell no. I am not doing this right now.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," you yanked your hand away from his grip. He wanted to say something else but you didn't give him the chance as you packed the medical supplies and put them away. You put some clothes borrowed from Enishi on the bed and bid your goodbye.

"Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

You made your way out of the room hoping to get to yours faster. The dress suddenly felt too tight on you and you needed to get out of it before it constricted your air flow. You had a hunger for chaos boiling inside of you and you didn't know how much longer you could keep it inside.

Before you made it to your room you bumped into Enishi. He seemed to be looking for you since you just left him hanging outside. You didn't want to worry him and thought of something to say to cut the incoming interrogation short.

"Can we talk-"

"Look, Enishi. I need to get out of this dress and get some sleep, but I will tell you everything you need to know in the morning. Deal?"

You let the words out in a rush and he looked dazed for a moment as he processed them. He tilted his head and let his eyes linger on your face. You looked way more exhausted than you were when you left for the ball. He could also tell something was eating at you by the way you were frowning. He decided he could wait until tomorrow.

"Okay."

He put a hand on your shoulder rubbing it in comfort and you couldn't help but lean into his touch. It felt so soothing that it made the burning fire in your heart dim a little.

"But we're gonna talk tomorrow," he added. You nodded and placed your hand on his squeezing it in reassurance, before walking off to your room.

You felt bad leaving him like that againbut you weren't in the right mindset to sit and talk about your past right now. Maybe after some sleep and thinking you would be.

Sleeping was a torture. You couldn't fall asleep at all, tossing and turning until the sheets bunched up under you. Your pillows got warm fast the more you switched sides and it pissed you off. The universe was against you catching one wink of sleep.

Getting annoyed, you sat up and threw the duvet away letting it fall on the floor. You laced your fingers through your scalp trying to massage the storm of thoughts away, but it only got more unbearable.

Your head was getting so loud swirling with countless questions. You drowned yourself in regrets and what ifs.

The regrets revolved around the reasons why you saved Cho. You hoped it would leave your conscience clean but it only made it worse. He was two doors away from you and you weren't sure if it was a case of being that close to him that had you on edge of your feelings coming back. You also regretted the mission a lot and well, pushing Enishi away like that when he clearly wanted to help you.

The what ifs surrounded the feelings you had for Cho that were definitely awakening in your heart again. It felt like they never left, as if they just laid dormant until they felt him near to wake up. It was like a grenade was placed in your hand without a safety pin. And you couldn't do anything to stop it from blowing up the more you thought about him and that night that changed everything.

3 years ago

One of your clients sent you on a hunt for a powerful businessman. He was in possession of a samurai tachi sword belonging to the great Fukushima Masanori, who fought in the Battle of Shizugatake almost 300 years ago. Legend says it was the sword that drew the first blood in the battle. It was worth millions on the arms trade market. To have it hung up somewhere and just admire it whenever you wanted was truly a rich person activity.

Your client wanted you and Cho to work together and steal it. Most people who hired you knew you worked better together and often came as a package deal, but none of them asked you to do so until now. Frankly, he was a client of Cho's and he reassured you that he worked with him before and that there was nothing to be worried about.

You've been staking out the businessman's building for a while now, watching out for any sign of movement. A bonus clause of the deal was to take him out too, since your client had some hatchet to bury with him he wouldn't tell you about. You were getting hungry and tired while Cho stepped out. You didn't expect him to come back with dumplings.

"I got you these. It was the only thing I could find around here."

"You didn't have to."

You munched away on your buns, peering at his back from time to time. He leaned over the railing busy scanning the streets.

It's been a year since you've met on that mission. You loved spending time with him and he seemed to enjoy your company just as much.

You've been paying more attention to his actions and words towards you and you could tell that he had feelings for you too. From the way you caught him looking at you when he thought you wouldn't notice. Or the fact that he would spend money on dumplings for you every time you sighed when you saw them, knowing you were saving yours up for other things. Those things were expensive as hell nowadays, but he still chose to treat you to them on occasion.

Your feelings for him grew stronger day by day and you had to tell him how you felt before you combusted spontaneously.

"Cho?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to tell you something."

He hummed as a sign for you to continue, busy scanning the area. Your heartbeat quickened, drowning out the rest of the world around you, the only thing on your mind being those five words. You thought of many different ways to tell him and all kinds of words passed through your mind, some cringier than others. The normal "I like you" should be enough considering none of you were big on declaring things. You did try to confess a fee times before but it always got blocked by something.

Deciding against beating around the bush while you still had time on your hands, you took a deep breath and just went for it.

"I think I like-"

"They're on the move," Cho cut you off.

You sighed in defeat. There went my chance.

Cho got up and you followed, throwing away the empty bag of dumplings with your almost confession in it. Turns out it had to wait until you were done with the mission.

The man you were after arrived in front of the building with a few of his men and went inside. You looked for a way in and noticed a window on the side of the first floor but it was too high. Cho put his hands together motioning you over. He used them to propel you upwards and after a few failed tries you successfully reached it. You found it slightly creaked open and climbed in through it, with him following suit.

You helped him in and landed down inside, taking a look around. The place was full of crates stacked on each other nearly reaching the roof. One of them was opened near you and you cautiously walked over to take a look. It was filled with guns. But not just any guns. They weren't branded and most of them looked like imports from abroad, which meant that they came off the black market. Only one group had access to this much ammunition: the mafia.

This wasn't your first rodeo with a mafia but you knew you had to be extra careful. Snooping around some more you found a big crate made from dark wood. It looked out of place compared to the others. You motioned Cho to it and you tried prying it open as silently as you could, to not attract any unwanted attention. Digging inside among strips of paper your hand landed on what felt like the handle of a briefcase. You pulled it out and looked at Cho. Opening it you found jsut the katana you were looking for, dark sheath decorated in golden chrysanthemums, a symbol of royal value bestowed upon the most trusted samurai. Unsheathing it, you ran your hand along the worn out hilt in awe at the fact that you were holding a relic of ancient Japanese history. Illegally but then again what you were doing wasn't legal either.

One of the guards walked in and spotted you, not thinking twice before opening fire on you. You took cover behind the crate and threw the briefcase over to Cho, getting your guns out to fire back. More men came to see what caused the ruckus and started shooting as well once they saw you taking some of them down.

You shot your pistols until the trigger clicked empty. Slumping back against the crates you needed to think of a way out that didn't involve getting bullet holes punched through you and you had to do it quickly.

You turned to your right and noticed Cho was no longer next to you. You looked around and saw him by the window you came in through, one leg away from freedom with the briefcase in his hand. The window was hidden from sight which made it the perfect escape.

He waved his hand and you thought he was waving you over. You waved your hand at him too telling him there was no way you could reach him while they were still firing at you. He smirked down at you and you tilted your head at him in confusion.

What the hell was he doing?

That's when it clicked. The way he was holding the briefcase. The shushed talks with the client behind your back. That stupid smirk.

You've got to be shitting me.

He used you. While you shot away at the men he used that as cover to get away. He used you to get this far because you knew how to plan things so the game would play out in your favour. There was no telling if he didn't use your feelings as leverage as well. And all this time you hoped he felt the same.

He trained you. He ate with you. He slept next to you. You worked together for almost a year. He pretended to care about you only to toss you to the side. It was all a fucking lie.

Son of a bitch.

With one last look at you he jumped out, leaving you at the mercy of fate. There was not a single glint of regret in those eyes you learned to love so dearly as they disappeared behind the wall. He took you for a fool and you were so blind to see it.

Every mission you did together flashed in front of your eyes. Every moment you spent together. Everything you told each other. Only for him to throw it all away for a chunk of money.

You didn't know what hurt more. Your heart for being stupid enough to try to love. Or your soul, for believing in the good in people.

One thing was certain. You let Barairo out that night, after years of struggling to keep her away, leaving the building covered in blood and with a broken heart. All because you loved him.

Only god knows how you made it out of there. But you completed the bonus gruesome part of the mission, killing the businessman and all his guards with your bare hands. Using her.

It took you years to get her back in, away from people. You fought her to the bone, until you managed to lock her away for good. But the damage was already done. You swore not to let yourself get played like that ever again.

He abandoned you there. You told him how much it hurt when your parents disappeared and he knew how much it scarred you. And he still did it in the most fucked up way he could think of.

Your memories were of a person that sold his soul to whoever paid more for his interests and you wanted nothing to do with him. You swore to put a bullet through his head the next time you met.

But you couldn't help the hurt that came with your reunion tonight. Seeing him again only reignited that pain in you. The same smirk he parted away from you with plastered on his lips in the exact same way tonight.

Why can't I just forget he exists? Why is he still in my head like he never left?

It hurt like hell and no matter how much you tried to erase him your heart wouldn't let you. She would keep reminding you of him everywhere you went.

It was also why you were afraid of what you felt for Enishi. He was different than Cho. Gentler, kinder and understanding. But it scared you that your feelings were in so deep now to be able to get back from it. And you had no security that history wouldn't repeat itself once you let yourself fall for him.

It was times like these you wished your mom was here, able to give you some advice. To guide you towards what was right and kill some of the pain away. You hoped desperately to find her at the ball tonight. Either the man gave you a false lead or they were alerted you were coming and she was moved elsewhere. You didn't know. And that only made everything else worse.

How much longer do I need to search to find her? To find dad? Are any of them even alive anymore? Is there even a point to keep looking for them?

Your thoughts were eating you up again and you needed a distraction before it got too much. Grabbing your pistols from the nightstand and a few cartridges you walked the hallways in a haste to reach the outside garden. The cold stung on your exposed arms but you paid it no mind as you strung up a few targets and started shooting at them.

Normally, shooting for practice relaxed you and gave you the clarity you needed to think things through. But shooting to relax turned into shooting your anger and hurt away pretty quickly. At one point you stopped shooting at the targets and just shot through the blur of your tears, aim faltering away from the targets. You aimed at the trees, the ground, the air. Anything just to feel your pistols empty hoping that your feelings were etched into every bullet so you could stop feeling them.

Enishi was in his office when he heard the shots. He tensed at first ready to get into butchering mode until he recognised the familiar click of your pistols. He rushed to your room thinking something happened only to find you gone, sheets on a disarray on the floor. He followed the sound only to find you in the garden, angrily shooting at something in the dark. He walked closer and sighed when he saw the tears streaming down your face. You seemed devoid of the world around you as you shot away and that scared him a little.

One of your pistols was left without bullets and you angrily threw it away, pulling the other one out from its hold. He had to stop you before you hurt yourself or someone else. Getting a little closer he called your name multiple times. But all you could focus on was the click of your gun and the sound of the bullets ricocheting off the trees.

“Miyu, you need to stop," he said, cautiously taking another step towards you.

“No," you shook your head.

He couldn't take this from you. It was the last thing you had that you knew how to do. The last thing keeping you sane right now. If he took it away you would lose the last glimmer of self control you had.

“Give me the gun," he tried again, voice a little softer this time.

“Leave. me. alone," you growled.

You wanted him to leave you be. To just go back inside and forget he ever saw you like this. Because you knew if he pressed on you would let go of all rational thought and say something you didn't mean. Something that you would regret. But he stood his ground, taking a few more cautious steps towards you.

“I’m not leaving you.”

That was enough to trigger your pent up anger. Everyone in your life left. Your parents, the people you loved, even Cho. What if Enishi would wake up one day and choose to leave too? You convinced yourself he didn't mean it. That he was just saying it now without any security that he would feel the same tomorrow.

“Enishi, please just go!" you yelled as you turned around to him, the last of your munition emptying away in the murky ground. You took a shaky breath as you kept pressing the trigger, turning the gun around and hitting it with your palm trying to make it work, but the empty click of the gun was still the only sound that greeted you.

“Fuck."

You didn’t realize you were sobbing until your sight got too blurry with tears and you started wiping furiously at your face. Enishi went forward and closed the distance to you, warily wrapping his hand around yours that was holding the gun. Loosening the grip of your fingers, he gently took the gun out of your hands and dropped it next to the other one on the ground.

Your eyes met his and you couldn’t hold the pain in anymore. A wail of a sob crawled its way out of your throat, letting out the last fractures of your anger. You crumpled down on the ground, nails digging into the grass around you to hold yourself together a little more. Enishi knelt down to you and wrapped his arms around you. You tried fighting him off, pushing him away as much as you could but his hold was too strong. You punched his chest, desperately trying to get away from him, but he just wouldn't budge. You didn't want to hurt him too, because if you did, you would never forgive yourself.

Your punches got slower the more you sobbed until you settled for gripping his shirt tightly in your hand. He only tightened his arms even more around you, pressing you against his chest.

He hated seeing you like this. It was breaking him inside to know the pain you were feeling all too well because it was the same kind of pain he dealt with alone for years. But none of you were alone anymore. You had each other now and he needed you to know that.

“It’s okay," he whispered.

“Enishi,” you sobbed his name. That was the only thing that kept you from spiralling down in that corner of your mind. The one where she waited with her teeth bared for you to let the door wide open. He was your anchor right now and the only one standing between the two of you becoming one again. The minute he let go of you, you would land the key in the lock of her cell and let her out, letting her consume you. You knew if that happened right now there would be no way back from it this time.

“Please don’t leave me."

“I’m not leaving you.” He grabbed the sides of your face and made you look at him. “I am not leaving you, Miyu.”

He would say it as many times as it took for you to understand that he wasn't going to move an inch away from you unless you told him to. He wasn't going to let you lose yourself, not when he could help it.

You just sobbed harder upon hearing his words and he scooped you up from the cold ground, taking you back inside to the warmth of your room. He helped you get in bed before he himself got in next to you. You moved back into his arms and he cradled you close.

You sat like that for a while, letting it all out while he held you to him, whispering an occasional 'I'm here' or 'You're okay' to let you know he wasn't going anywhere.

"Miyu, I know now's not the time, but you need to talk to me. I want to help you but I don't know how until you tell me what's wrong."

He knew you weren't okay and suspected that it would come to this sooner or later. The sooner you told him what was wrong the closer he would get to knowing how to help you. He would wait for you as long as you needed but it had to be soon. Before you would slip away in the one place he didn't wish upon anyone.

His hands moved to rub your back and you took in a shaky breath preparing for the unavoidable. You lifted your head up from his chest and wiped some of your tears away. You kept him in the dark enough.

You told him everything. From what happened to your parents, detail by detail, to how you dreamt of it almost every night in vivid pictures as if it was happening again. From your life before you met Cho and your life after he left you, leaving out a few things that could ultimately get him kicked out of the guest room in his sleep, including the whole thing about the feelings involved.

You finally laid all the pieces of your broken soul on the table and watched nervously as he looked at each one with a mix of emotions you knew all too well. His jaw twitched with anger learning about the things you had to go through. His eyes reflected the same sadness you felt for years on end. His hands held yours the whole time and he felt the hurt washing over you like it was his own. But not once did his eyes show pity and that told you that you laid your heart out in good hands.

He seemed deep in thought after everything you told him and well, who wouldn't be. You expected him to be appalled at most of the things you told him and push you away. But he didn't. He welcomed the entirety of your past with open arms and it made the walls you've built up so high quiver.

There was still one thing you needed reassurance about and you gathered up all your courage to ask it.

"Can you promise me something?"

"Of course." He brushed a few stray hairs from your face to get a better look at you, frowning at your red and puffy eyes. "What is it?"

You swapped the hold of his hands so your smaller ones covered his, holding them tightly in your lap. They weren't as cold as they used to be when you met him, a whole lot warmer now than yours were. You looked down at them with an unfamiliar yearning. It felt like you held the whole world in your hands and it terrified you. You found solace in this world and you wanted to protect it like it protected you. No matter what it would take to keep it safe. To keep him safe.

"Whatever happens, be it in a mission or whatever situation, promise me we will stay together. We go in together and we get out of it together."

"I promise," he said without hesitating. He lifted a hand to your cheek cupping it softly. "I told you I would keep you safe as long as you're with me. I tend to keep my word, you know."

You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes as you felt another wave of tears coming. But this time, they weren't tears of pain or sorrow. They were tears of appreciation. He was so attentive and understanding while listening to everything you had to say that it overwhelmed you, in a good way.

"I know," you said sniffling away another sob. You played with his fingers counting the calluses on them to distract yourself. The fear that he would turn against you some day was still there and there was nothing you could do to quiet it down. But his words lowered it a bit.

"I really need to stop being a crybaby. You're probably tired of it."

"I could never get tired of you. Come here," he said opening his arms for you with the most genuine smile on his face.

You fell into them and pressed your head to his chest while he carded a hand through your hair to calm you down. His other hand rested on your back, lightly drawing patterns on it. He rocked you back and forth for a little while, until he felt you relax against him. Peeking an eye down at you, he saw you fast asleep. Your hand was fisting his shirt so tight as if the world will fall to pieces if you let go. It reminded him of that night after he took you to watch the sunset on the hill overlooking the village. He found you plopped on your bed, so tired that you didn't even change out of your clothes. You had the same adorable pout on your face now and it made him melt.

He held you for a while to make sure you were deep in sleep before deciding to let you rest. You looked like you really needed it after the day you had. Getting up as quiet as he could, he laid you down in bed, placing your head on your pillow gently. He covered you with the duvet and tried to move away, but your hand kept him in place, fist tightening around the fabric of his shirt to pull him closer. He placed his hand on your fist, untangling it from his shirt to lace his fingers with yours instead. You turned to his side and cuddled around his hand pulling it closer to you. He knelt down beside your bed and just looked at you as he brushed your hair away from your face.

I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You're not alone anymore, my light.

It must have been the early hours of the morning when Enishi left. You've been sound asleep for a few hours and he decided to go work on some things since he wasn't going to catch any sleep for himself.

Reaching his office he was met with the door creaked open. He narrowed his eyes on it thinking back to when he left for your room. He definitely shut it closed.

Someone who wasn't supposed to be inside was messing around judging by the clutter of swords to the ground. He pushed the door open only to see his unwanted guest playing around at the sword wall. His presence went unknown to the man who had his back at him as he just stood there watching him for a while until he got annoyed.

"I would appreciate it if you stopped snooping around."

The blonde man turned around surprised that he had company, dropping the sword he was holding on the ground. It clanged loudly on the floor and Enishi moved to the door to close it, releasing an exasperated sigh.

If he wakes her up I am turning him into paper tinsel.

"So the master of the house does speak."

"What are you doing here, Sword Hunter?"

"You know who I am?"

I just said your nickname, dumbass. He really does lack intelligence doesn't he?

You didn't tell him too much about Cho. But the more he looked at him he started remembering who he was. He's heard about him before but never got a chance to see him until now. Once you told him more he pieced the puzzle together rather quickly.

Cho ignored him and continued messing around until he picked up a sword he seemed rsther interested in. He unsheathed it, testing its balance in his hand.

"A wo-dao Chinese sword. I've never seen one before."

He swung it around and held it closer to his line of sight tracing his eyes along the silver blade.

"This is a great sword."

"It could hurt you. The balance is different than Japanese swords."

Enishi's patience was running thin. The last thing he wanted to confront at the ass crack of dawn was a sword freak. He debated knocking him out and dragging him back to bed but you probably wouldn't be too happy if you knew that happened.

"You seem sure of yourself."

And you're acting like a fucking idiot.

Cho racked through the stash and threw a different sword at Enishi, suggesting testing the blades in a duel. Enishi just stared him down taking in all the bandages that littered his body. He wouldn't mind adding some more on there. But you worked too hard patching him up to do that.

"I'm not gonna fight you," he retaliated, placing the sword on his desk.

I don't want her to wake up to that. She has enough on her plate already.

"Are you you scared you'll lose?" huffed Cho.

"I could kill you right now if I wanted to." He unsheathed the sword and chuckled darkly. The look in his eyes turned murderous and it was enough to make Cho's jaw tick. He was looking for a fight and Enishi struggled keeping himself away from giving him one. With a deep sigh he put it back in its hold and went to place it back to its place neatly.

"I'm only letting you stay because she wants you here for some fucked up reason. One wrong move and you're out of here in seconds."

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong."

He put the sword he was holding on the table and looked Enishi dead in the eye.

"I'll stay as long as she wants me here," he said placing a hand on Enishi's shoulder tauntingly. "Not even you can convince her to let me go."

Morning couldn't come fast enough. You heard Enishi leave sometime in the early hours of the morning but you were too tired to register it and quickly fell back asleep. Before he left, you felt a feather like touch of what could only be his lips connecting to your temple and smiled in your sleep, hoping he noticed it.

Trudging to the bathroom you looked in the mirror and nearly screeched. Your eyes were the size of rice balls, the ginormous kind that Wu would stuff in his mouth for dinner, but with a slight touch of pink and bloodshot.

You didn't want to deal with the aftermath of yesterday at all. But you promised Enishi you would talk more things out, especially about the blondie residing in his guest room without a good explanation on why he was here other than the fact that he was hurt.

You hung your head low in shame gripping the edges of the sink. You brought a total stranger in the house that wasn't yours, got him comfortable and did not even have the courtesy of telling Enishi who the fuck he was or why he should even stay after everything.

I might be going off the rails sooner than I predicted.

Enishi had every right to be mad at you for every shitty choice you made in the last 24 hours. From going over his word multiple times and not staying in the house like he told you. For talking rudely to him at the ball for no particular reason other than what was probably jealousy. For bringing a total stranger into his house. To keeping him awake for most of the night with your own problems.

But he wasn't. On the contrary, he comforted you even after you put him through all of that. He took care of you again even after all you did was push him away. And fuck if you knew why he still did it.

I'm surprised he hasn't kicked me out yet.

But one thing did bug you. He did all that and you still weren't clear of what his intentions were or whether he felt the same for you because he hasn't said anything to seal the deal yet.

Did he even want to seal the deal? Or was it all a play again?

You did not want a rerun of what happened with Cho. You weren't sure of what exactly you felt for the blonde man but you knew it wasn't anything good. Besides, if you went through that again, especially with Enishi, it would crush you for good. You wondered when he would come clean and open up to you, hoping it would be sooner than later.

Until then, you had a breakfast to attend that had the potential to turn really messy. Both males were highly unpredictable and liked to act on impulse. If you managed to get through it without anyone getting their head ripped off their body it would be a miracle.

Lord give me strength to face the males you put on this earth.

Breakfast was going well so far, you would say. All three of you ate quietly, sparring looks at each other sheepishly. You all waited for someone to speak first and cut the tension wafting in the air.

You surely didn't want to be first as you didn't even know where to start. Start explaining some more things to Enishi and apologize for everything? Put a plate in Cho's hand and kick him out yourself? Complimenting the chef on the food? Wait this is leftovers I prepared yesterday.

You looked at Cho who was picking at the food in his plate like an ungrateful child. What could he even say? Introduce himself in a really Cho manner, jazz fingers and all, spew some lies about who he actually is and making himself more unwanted than he was at the moment? Highly likely. He didn't owe Enishi anything other than to return the clothes he borrowed.

Looking to Enishi, you didn't know what to expect. He would most likely start awkward conversation with "So what do you do?" and then expect you to elaborate whilst trying to keep Cho's mouth shut in case he decided to talk about things Enishi was better off not knowing. Or unsheathe one of his swords and turn this into a fight, considering the daggers he was throwing at him.

The possibilities were endless.

To your disappointment, Enishi did speak first and you braced for the joy that was about to become the breakfast table.

“So, how do you two know each other?”

Okay, an easy question that didn't need a complicated answer.

“We used to work together,” you said peeling a boiled egg for yourself trying to keep your composure.

Cho tapped your leg under the table asking you to peel one for him using the injured person card. He was holding the fork just fine so you just threw an eggshell at him.

“We did more than work,” said Cho, earning himself a kick under the table from you.

You narrowed your eyes at him silently telling him to watch it. He only smirked in return, enjoying that he could annoy you this much.

“It was just work,” you gritted, turning to look at Enishi. “We took out a few people in uh... team missions.”

“Oh, and how much fun we had doing it together,” chirped Cho, leaning his head on his palm.

And I thought I was off the rails. I forgot that he literally exists.

“You should’ve seen her back then. She was so ruthless and unforgiving."

Why was he suddenly acting like the president of the Miyu Hikari fanclub?

If the you from back then was sitting here now she would probably blush and feel giddy at the remark.

But your face fell at the mention of the person you used to be back then. She haunts you at night and you wished you could just forget everything about her.

Enishi saw the way you uncomfortably shifted in your seat and picked at the shell of your egg with a frown. Squinting dangerously at the blonde who seemed to be enjoying himself a little too much, he interfered.

“Actually, she appears to be doing pretty well now, I would say.” Your eyes snapped up to him, a small smile of acknowledgment on his lips directed at you. “She’s so much stronger now.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. Now that he knew about your past and how much it took to get to where you are now, he seemed to have a different level of admiration for you. He was still so trusting in your abilities and it was beyond your understanding how he could just sit there believing you could lift planet Earth if you wanted to. And he would totally support you.

But of course, Cho had to ruin the moment.

“If that’s true, then she should be able to actually take me down in a fight now without using tricks,” he cocked an eyebrow at you.

It was a little bet you always had going when you trained with him. Whoever pinned the other to the ground first would get bragging benefits for the day. Loser would also have to chip in with whatever the winner wanted. You smiled a little remembering all the times you won over him and he had to buy you a ginormous amount of sweets. You did use a few tricks to get him off guard like winking at him or blowing him a kiss and he fell for it every single time. He liked the attention and that was one of his biggest weaknesses.

The good times blurred the bad ones for a little moment of bittersweet melancholy. Maybe it wasn't all that bad that he was back.

“I’m not fighting you when you’re wrapped in bandages like a mummy,” you said, munching on a piece of bread.

“Then when I’m better!”

“You’re not staying here,” cut in Enishi.

Did he mean here as in the mansion or here as in near you? From the way he gripped his mug it could be both.

“But he’s injured,” you turned to him as did Cho, with a more dramatic expression akin to distorted puppy eyes. "Stop making that face. It's creeping me out."

Enishi got up and took your wrist pulling you to the side to discuss privately about your guest. He had a bad feeling about him ever since he caught him snooping around his office last night. His mere existence pissed him off and it was slowly becoming a problem.

“I don’t want him here more than he should be staying here.”

“And he won’t be here longer than it takes to heal his wounds,” you prodded. “Let him stay for at least a week.”

A week would give you time to sort some stuff out with both of them and send Cho away with a clean conscience that he was healed and hopefully in one piece.

“A week?! Two days max."

“Five days!”

“Three days.”

“Four,” you begged, hands held together in a prayer. “You won’t even know he’s here.”

His tongue poked his cheek as he thought your proposal over. He didn't have anything to lose but the guy made him really suspicious. The way he looked and talked to you infuriated him beyond normal. He didn't understand why you were so keen on him staying here. But he would yield in, for now.

“Okay,” he sighed defeatedly. "But one wrong move or word and he's gone."

“Thank you, Enishi!"

You got a bit too excited and without a second thought you leaned up and kissed his cheek. Your brain short-circuited when you processed your lips touching his soft cheek. Both of you got surprised by your gesture, eyes widened in shock as you pulled away. The slightest tint of a blush was painted on your cheeks.

“I’ll uh… go do the dishes.”

What the hell was I thinking?!

You started backing away shyly before your heart could implode. Rushing your steps you nearly knocked down a chair as you hastily ran inside.

“Do you need help-“

“IM GOOD!”

He touched his cheek feeling the spot where your lips were pressed in a peck just a few moments ago and shook his head at you with a smile. You were truly something else. But the minute his eyes laid on the unwanted guest munching away at the food on the table like a gorilla, his smile fell.

I’m doing this for her. I need to show her that I can interact with other people without wanting to skewer them alive.

He went to sit back down at the table. He wanted to at least finish his tea before looking for excuses to leave.

“It’s so nice to have company after being solo for so long.”

“Mhm. I bet.”

“You’re not much of talker are you?”

“Nope.” I am but not with people like you.

“I’m sure you’ll warm up to me soon.”

“Surely," he smiled. I’d rather go sit with Wu for a week than spend one more minute with you.

“Enishi!” You called out to him from the kitchen. Ah, thank god.

“Coming!” he sat up from the table quick as lightning and dashed inside to you. “What do you need?”

“Can you fold my sleeves so I won’t get them wet?” You didn’t even finish and he was already doing your sleeves all the way up above your elbows. “Thank you!”

“No problem."

He looked at the pile of dishes you started washing, hoping you would ask him to help. Anything to stay in here with you than go outside to that creature.

"Is there anything else I can help with?”

“You could ask Cho if he wants anything else.”

His hopes were shattered the second his name cane oit of your mouth. He looked at you as if you asked him to bring you a bear or something. His eyes were pleading to stay with you in the kitchen but all you saw was a look that was weirding you out.

“Or you could wipe these dry," you suggested pointing to the dishes that needed to be taken off the drying rack so you could put the others instead.

Okay, that I can do.

“Gladly," he smiled.

You shook your head, giggling at his antics. You could tell he wasn't that fond of blondie. Cho's presence bugged you at first too but he grew on you over time. He was still the same idiot putting himself in danger recklessly but most times you were there to get him out of it.

Whatever you saw in him back then was pure and underneath all that mischief there was a boy who just didn't know what to do with his life. You understood him more than he understood you and you couldn't help but empathise with him.

"He's not that bad, you know," you said washing one of the bigger plates. You handed it to Enishi and watched him wipe it dry on all corners. Clean freak, you thought smiling.

"I'll believe it when I see it. All he's done so far is eat and sleep for free," he picked up another dish, "and make you uncomfortable after you literally saved and took care of him."

He had a point. But then again that was what you were doing too. Enishi took you in and cared for you like you were one of his own and all you did lately was abuse that. And it made you feel bad no matter how much he told you everything was okay and that he wasn't mad about it in the slightest.

"He's the only person I had for a while. As much as we didn't part on good terms I owe him a little."

Enishi wasn't stupid. He could tell there was something more between the two of you, besides slaying people for money together. He just wasn't sure if that something died three years ago, but he knew that feelings don't go away so easily. No matter how hard you try to make them disappear.

Living with not one but two copies of the male species was interesting to say the least. It's been only one day of cohabitating together and there was already a growing tension between the two.

Enishi didn't really acknowledge Cho's existence unless you mentioned him in conversation. Cho tried to annoy him on occasions where he let his guard down around you but most of the times it didn't work in his favour and he ended up being ignored.

However, the macho vibes were very strong as you were training today. Cho looked up to joining in with you and you let him despite Enishi's silent protests. You wished you listened to them.

Stretching your bodies before practice turned into a muscle flexing competition. Cho rolled his sleeves above his elbows and unbuttoned his shirt down to his navel, while Enishi took off his kimono to be left only in his tank top.

You gulped at the sight, eyes darting from one man to the other. Cho's veiny hands caught your attention first. Then your eyes moved from his collar bone all the way down to the outline of his abs that were peeking from under his shirt. You've seen them in passing when you patched him up. But seeing them in broad daylight was a totally different story. They looked so defined and sculpted. You unconsciously licked your lips at the sight, wondering how it would feel to take your time counting the squares one by one.

Your eyes then settled on Enishi and your breath hitched. His muscly biceps were already glistening with sweat from just stretching, but it was enough to make you want to chomp down on them. You've seen them so many times before but they made your mouth water every time. One flex of it and you would be on the floor seeking medical assistance.

You didn't even realise they were looking at you until you heard Cho's high pitched laughing. Enishi seemed quite amused by your reaction too, chuckling to himself. They caught you full on staring at their goodies with no shame. You wanted the ground to swallow you whole from the embarrassment.

Cho walked to you and you planted your feet to the floor trying to get back to your serious face. He stopped just a patch of grass away from you but it was enough to make you breathless. His abs were right in front of you, an elbow away.

"Better wipe the drool on your lips, princess," he said as he wiped it from your lips with his thumb.

This fucker. Wait until I wipe my fist on your lips.

"Fuck off," you pushed him away and got back to stretching with your back to them.

All was well until sword practice turned into a contest of the fittest. You were getting back to grips with your jian sword trying to remember the basic moves Enishi taught you. But the two men in front of you were deep in focus with their own longer katanas, practicing deep slashes coupled with some aerial moves. Looking at them sitting side by side, you noticed their styles were awfully similar, the only difference being that Enishi was faster and made use of his surroundings, while Cho was slower and used more tricks to slow down his opponent. Both of them appeared to be in their own element and it was a sight to behold.

Sparring wise you were kind of tossed to the side. They were too busy staring daggers at one another to notice you were there to learn stuff too. One rude insult from Cho and a twitch of Enishi's jaw later they took it upon themselves to duel.

Stepping backwards to give them more space you watched as they lunged at each other. Their eyes turned dark as their blades clashed, all semblance of humanity gone from both of them. Enishi was back in his unyielding form, forcing his attacks like a wild beast pouncing on his prey. Cho was actively trying to piss him off with tricks, sneering viciously the more he dodged Enishi's blade and pushed his buttons.

After some push and pull, combined with some cussing, the two broke apart with heaving breaths. They swirled their swords around to stretch their wrists as they continued circling each other.

"Quit playing around and fight for real," gritted Enishi.

"I am fighting for real," grunted Cho. "I think it's you who's holding back."

"I'm only holding back so I don't accidentally kill you."

"Why don't you do it then?"

He chuckled. For a brief moment his eyes locked with yours and he got some of his rationale back. He wasn't a fool. He could see right through his intentions.

"You want me to lose it and make myself look bad in front of her, don't you?"

Cho stopped moving around and played around with his blade. He got caught in the act and the look on his face gave it away too easily.

Enishi swung at him and he jumped over the slash that could've cut him in half. He spun trying to get Enishi off balance and tried cutting him back but Enishi was too fast and he could only dodge left and right.

Cho started getting sloppy. He swayed on his feet due to the gash in his leg that didn't heal properly yet. He knew he wasn't supposed to be out here but his pride got the best of him. He wanted to see what Enishi was made of and it was quite clear that he was a strong opponent.

Enishi noticed he was getting slower and used that to his advantage, combining moves that only pushed him to the edge. He wanted him to give it up and accept defeat.

Cho was forced to defend himself when Enishi's sword came down from above, blades meeting again with much more force than before. Both of them pushed with as much strength as they could to throw the other one off.

"If you're that sure of yourself, why don't we take a bet?" proposed Cho in a ploy to get Enishi to retreat.

"Oh yeah? What's in it for me?"

Cho turned his head to you and Enishi followed his gaze as they both lowered their blades. You were sitting on the ground staring up at the sky. You looked so at peace for once in a while that it calmed him down too, adrenaline from the moment drawing back into him. Cho was just as entranced by you.

"Let's see which one of us she actually wants. We both have a week to figure her out. If it's you she wants I'll be out of both of your lives in a heartbeat."

The offer was tempting. Enishi believed he had the upper hand here. He saw the way you looked at him and he wasn't entirely blind to your feelings, even if he himself was confused with his. You also had a connection between you that was hard to tear down, as much as blondie tried to interfere. If all these things played out in his favour, he could fly out the door sooner than the agreed timeline. It was a win-win situation.

But there was the possibility of him being wrong. There was a chance you still felt something for Cho and those feelings could just be waiting for him to do something to try and get you back. What if they would grow back stronger the more time you spent around him?

As much as he wanted to believe things could play out in his favour, the situation said otherwise.

Although, he was sure of one thing. That he was willing to bet everything to keep you with him. No matter what.

"But if she wants me-," Cho continued only to get cut off harshly.

"I won't let that happen," thundered Enishi.

He was more sure of himself than he's ever been before, especially because this involved you. He would stop at nothing to win you over.

"Bring it on."

Thank you for reading! As always, comments, likes and reblogs are welcome :)

#Addicting Taste #enishi yukishiro #enishi yukishiro fanfiction #rurouni kenshin #enishi yukishiro x reader #enishi yukishiro x you #i truly hope you don't hate me after reading it

[disappearinginq]

I started watching a new CW show on a whim, and I am pleasantly surprised - Wild Cards. It has a lot of fun tropes used well between the two main characters Max and Ellis and it takes place in Canada - I would say which city, except I don't know skylines that well, but it has a water front, and I'm just going to say Vancouver or Toronto because those cities seem like the US's versions of NYC and LA - any and all shows take place in or around them.

Anyway. Ellis is the Grumpy and Tall and Max is the Happy and Smol of the duo - Ellis is a disgraced police officer who got bumped from detective to marine patrol, and Max is a con artist and thief. It's very much reminding me of White Collar, and they wind up having to work together because she helps him out solving a high profile crime. Because of their success, brass makes them an offer - if they can work together, they'll reinstate Ellis as a detective, and Max stays out of prison.

Admittedly, we are 1 episode in, but I CARE NOT. Things that I love in no particular order:

Max is not a male written character with a female cast in the role. She is fun and bubbly and charming and sweet and relies heavily on the fact that all of these things help distract marks, and lets her get out of a lot of trouble. Because she's so friendly and nice, she gets people almost immediately at ease - even people she's been known to scam like her. The people who arrest her like her. The cops in the bullpen like her. Even Ellis, who doesn't seem to like anyone at all, begrudgingly respects her.

Ellis is grumpy, and for a good reason. Actually, a couple good reasons. But instead of him being the only honest cop in a group of corrupt ones, he's the one suspected to be a dirty cop from an undercover gig, which went badly, and why he got busted down to marine patrol.

Zero Daddy issues for Max. Again, I admit, it's been one episode, BUT she visits him twice in prison (he's also criminally inclined) and he is more than happy to help her out, and that includes finding out Ellis's background to make sure she's not in more trouble than she thinks she is. Prison sentence aside, it seems like a solid Father/Daughter relationship (though it does make me think of the skit "I would be proud of my daughter no matter what. She could be a serial killer - "nine victims in total" - "excuse me? Nine that you know of").

Even though Ellis is cranky, he covers for Max even though it gets him in trouble instead of her in front of his superiors and his co-workers. He also just rolls with whatever bizarre scenario she's come up with for their cover - "I'm a Russian princess, and you're my pretty but clueless boy toy/goat yoga instructor" and the most he'll do is make a face, and then commit to the part.

Even though I am 100% positive this is going to be a romance between Ellis and Max, they're starting off with Mutual Respect for one another as people rather than just finding each other hot. I think Max looks at Ellis like "this is my poor little meow meow doom cloud " and Ellis is like "this is my emotional support extrovert." [two of my other favorite tropes]

They use a lot of tropes well - Ray of Sunshine and Grumpy Cat partners, Criminal and Cop as Partners, Criminal with Heart of Gold, Hidden Emotional Injury, Opposites Attract, etc.

Anyway - police procedural mixed with White Collar vibes. So far, recommend.

#wild cards season 1 #wild cards CW #max mitchell #giacomo gianniotti #cole ellis #vanessa morgan

[tookthe-405]

VBS

Prologue :

“Sun bleached Flies” ~ Ethel cain

DAILY CLICK🍉🍉

DONATIONS AND INFOS🇵🇸

rebel!ellie x fem!reader

PLAYLIST

summary: you grew up religious without a choice, and in summer you would get send to vacation bible school. The camp always felt like prison to you, until a very interesting girl appeared.

c/w: smut in future chapters!!! , religious trauma, homophobia

1,1 k words

24/11/2004

Age 16 Reader pov:

"And as the Bible says in Micah 7:7: But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my savior, my God will hear me"

Your eyes burn, not because you are crying, but because of the very bright spotlights that are shining on Pastor Tobias. The youth lesson takes place every Wednesday evening and today's topic is faith and trust.

The paper and pen in your hand feels heavy and rough, you should have already written down what you’ve learned new, but your head is just so empty today.

As it has been so often in the last few weeks, which makes you feel guilty and ashamed again. You stare at the blank page and don't feel anything, that you could put into words and on paper. You can think of many questions that you would like to ask, but are too embarrassed for.

"hey is everything ok?"

your head follows the whispers next to you. Hazel looks at you worried. This girl is the only reason you enjoy being here, and there is no judgment in her look.

“I’m a bit stuck on this today” you whisper back and point at the empty paper, she nods.

you could feel the eyes of the employes. When sermons are held it is always very quiet and all these people you grew up with are listening to the man in front of you, the faintest whispers can be heard. You quickly concentrate again and look ahead.

"We're closing the sermon today with a prayer and the requests that you gave us"

On the board next to him are various prayer requests that the young people brought to the lesson. But a few of them catch your eye more than the others.

- Please release me from the shame within me - Let me grow with your word - The temptations of the evil one shall not harm me

The prayer lasts 7 minutes and your mind keeps wandering. When you pray, you always forget where you are and feel a bit stuck in your head. That's why you've given up the habit of closing your eyes, which helps you to ease the restlessness in which your inner self is bursting. You can't get rid of it at anyway. You observe the people around you a bit. You know every face all too well, the reason for that includes going to a the private Christian school and the many prayer evenings that your parents and siblings like to attend to.

When praying, each face shows a small part of the person. Some look deep in thought, others look as if they were about to burst into tears at any second and one or the other sit on their seats with a contented and calm expression on their faces. You would give a lot to feel whatever they are feeling.

Hazel's expression reminds you of a frightened animal that has just been captured. She was one of the fearful prayers.

All you wanna do, is try to get her out of this state and keep her safe with you, but you know that you can't do that for her. Only the god she prays to can do that.

"Amen"

“Amen” everyone says together and the word leaves your lips quietly.

Everyone stands up from their seats and whispers spread. You know all these people and you knew from your private life that some of them weren't good people, but the church seemed to change that completely. At least for a short time. As soon as the free time begins, you notice that the facades are falling again. This has always confused you a bit.

Two years ago, so many people were converted here, that the church was rebuilt and there were now many different rooms for different concerns. There was the sermon Hall, which is full every Sunday and is used for worship services. There is also a kitchen and dining room with couches. One floor higher was the room for the young people, which is used every Wednesday to pray, study and spend time together. A few couches and many chairs with tables.

The whole youth group is there and a few people start to play games. Some have a religious background, some don't.

After the sermon, you and Hazel go from the sermon hall to the youth room, where a few people from your class have already made themselves comfortable on the couch and seats. At school you always talk to Hazel, who is a very social person and that's why you are forced to talk to other people as well.

Samuel and another boy are talking as you both sit down on chairs, and the whole group seems interested in the conversation.

"My mother said that, Pastor Tobias told her on Sunday"

"What's going on?" Hazel's gentle voice asks Samuel.

He excitedly turns away from the other boy and addresses Hazel.

"My mother said that we were going to a camp this summer, we young people, there was a lake, forest, church, everything"

“Do we have to camp?” Asks Kate, a girl in a class below you.

The thought of having to go camping immediately puts you off, but you'd have to go anyway if it actually takes place.

After all, Samuel talks a lot but it doesn't always reflect reality.

"She said there is a youth hostel with lots of rooms, but they are shared."

You could live with that. Hazel nudges you with a smile. Now the excitement hits you too, if you and Hazel are in the same room together, swimming in the lake all day long and there were going to be funny events, it will definitely be pretty fun.

You smile back excitedly and the other people around you seem to be looking forward to it too.

“Have you heard of Anne Marie’s husband?”

The group becomes quiet and looks at Sofia, with a thoughtful look and crossed arms.

"A few people from church mentioned something but I don't think it's true," Naveah says next to her and rolls her eyes, but Sofia shakes her head confidently and leans forward.

“My brother said it was true, he was there at the prayer meeting for him” Naveah’s face falls and that made you a little nervous.

"what?" ask someone, but you won't know who.

"They prayed that his homosexual desires would disappear"

The room generally seems to become a little quieter; the other groups of friends also seemed to have heard the word, which had probably never been uttered here before.

The tense atmosphere spreads through the room like poison and you hold your breath.

" I didn`t knew he had such disgusting thoughts"

you are too shocked to notice who said it, but you still clearly hear the others agree.

“The sin is disgusting, but we should pray for him,”

Austin decides, but his gaze seems a little concernt.

After the prayer you feel emptier than before, almost as if you had been sucked dry. Your thoughts left more marks and you knew what you would pray for tonight before you went to sleep.

INTERACT WITH THE LINKS ABOUT PALESTINE 🇵🇸

a/n: this is a bit more angsty and can trigger some people so pls read the warnings!! I felt a bit uncomfortable too writing it, but it’s still important to talk and write about it, because it is reality!!!

!!!Pls Reblog and like!!!

#ellie williams angst #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x reader #fem!reader #femme reader #fem reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams #ellie the las of us part two #the last of us fandom #the last of us fanfiction #ellie the last of us #the last of us #the last of us 2 #religious trauma #angst #ellie x reader #ellie tlou #ellie x you

[invisibleraven]

Texting each other cute pictures for Rulie plz and thank you?

Julie inhaled the crisp fall air, smiling at the range of colours of the leaves, so different from the palm trees she was used to. But here she was, thousands of miles from LA and the closest beach.

Sure it was hard to be so far away from her friends and family, but the opportunity to study at one of the most prestigious schools in the country was worth it.

She still took a shot of the falling leaves, sending it to Reggie, knowing he would love it, always appreciating a good autumnal shot.

Reggie: Please tell me you're going to find a leaf pilem to jump in.

Julie: If I didn't have a class on the importance of the jazz era I totes would

Reggie: Bah, leaf pile sounds way better than a boring jazz class. Do it Julie, do it for the vine!

Julie: Vine has been gone longer than it was around sweetie

Reggie: TikTok?

Julie chuckles and sends him a kiss emoji, rushing off to class... but maybe stops and kicks up a small pile of leaves, just for the fun of it.

The next day Reggie sends her a picture of a sandcastle he presumably found while doing his lifeguarding gig, but he could have also built knowing him. She misses sand, despite it's ability to get everywhere.

This is what they do when they don't have time to video chat or even make a phone call, they send pictures back and forth. Reggie sending her bits of home, which sometimes make her homesick, but mostly warm her heart. She sends back bits of her day so everyone stops worrying so much.

The long distance thing has been hard on them, but they've made it work. Visiting whenever they can, keeping in constant communication, and as soon as Julie graduates in the spring, she's hell bent on going home.

Reggie had offered to come with her, but the band was getting big at the time, so she urged him to stay. Now they have hits on the radio, and he does jobs part time to keep busy while they aren't recording but doesn't have enough time to come to the East Coast.

Julie wonders what she's going to do with her life back home while her boyfriend gets more and more famous. Her double degree in composition and music therapy could be used wherever. Both Luke and Reggie have offered her a job as the band's song writer, with Luke even saying she's welcome to sing with them.

But Julie, while tempeted, wants to use music to help people in a different way. Sure she might help pen a tune or two, but there's a therapy centre in Los Feliz that helped her mom still make music during chemo that looks like the perfect place for her.

For now, Julie snaps a picture of the hot chocolate she has-towering pile of whipped cream that she knows will make Reggie jealous. He sends back a shot of his beer, bottle dripping condensation, the ocean in the background of his little beach front house.

A house that has all her stuff in it for when she comes back. The house she stays in every time she visits, even if her old room is there and waiting for her.

A house that she is positive has a diamond ring waiting for her, given Reggie once accidently took a picture of it and sent it to her instead of Alex. She had promised him she would act surprised, and he had promised she would be when he asked.

But Julie loved his surprises, though she warned him that if one of them was a puppy without her getting to meet it first they were having a long conversation about it.

If he had sent her pictures of his various visits to the animal shelter after that, Julie became a little bit suspicious, but she did help pick out Ellie during her visit the summer. Now she got daily shots of Ellie, and Reggie got pictures of the little toys and accessories Julie bought her.

Pictures of course weren't enough, they didn't substitute the real thing. But May was only a few short months away, and Julie could survive on them until then.

But she knew when she got home, the first thing she was doing was getting a million shots of her and Reggie, reunited at least to decorate the walls of them home with.

#filled prompts #ficlet #rulie #rulie relajante #julie and the phantoms

[my18thcenturysource]

Today we're taking a look at the costume of an OLD period film, where my interest collide: 1920s and the 18th century.

Der Rosenkavalier (1926) is based on the opera of the same name by Richard Strauss, and the music from that is what accompanies this not so silent film. Since the libretto is changed a lot from the one of the opera, the movie also includes music from Strauss' Couperin suite. It was premiered in 10th January of 1926 at the Dresden Semperoper, and Strauss himself conducted the orchestra! Isn't that super cool? You can watch it on YouTube!

The costume design for this film was by Alfred Roller, Hans Rouc, and Stefan Wessely (the three of them usually worked in Art Direction), and Ludwig Rudlof was the wig maker.

I had never thought about this film until I was reading a magazine (a new one, from 1923 LOL), and there was a little column about Jaque Catelain (who plays Octavian in this film) and it had a photo from this film. And OF COURSE that sent me to a rabbit hole. I mean, look at him (and Elly Felicie Berger):

And, now something @vinceaddams always tell us all to look at: LOOK AT THE COAT SHOULDERS!!!!!! That's so good! AND FROM 1926.

Now, I love LOVE LOVE the costumes of this film. Let's take a look!

First of all, we have not one, but TWO robes de cour with the right kind of lace sleeves! One has a more historically accurate neckline, and the general silhouette of the torso. It was worn by Huguette Duflos as the Countess Maria Theresia von Werdenberg (the Marschallin):

And the other has a more square neckline (like in a middle way between a court mantua and a robe de cour), and the torso is less accurate (she doesn't seem to be wearing the right stays, nor the dress having the proper boning), but the petticoat is SPECTACULAR (worn by Elly Felicie Berger, as Sophie):

The women have both other dresses:

A robe à la française in stripes for Sophie:

This very flammable looking for the Marschallin:

And this one is also a robe de cour (kind of?), but with a petticoat and overskirt that feels more like a robe à la française. I mean, it clearly closes on the back, so I like to think of this dress as a robe de cour.

We also see Carmen Cartellieri wearing... this... dress and a coat/robe over it. This might be the dress that looks more like a halloween costume of the whole film, but honestly, I've seen way worse lately...

Now, let's just enjoy all of the menswear. They have some funny and odd cuff choices, but the general look is WAY better than many MANY modern 18th century set films and series. But the coats, the wigs, the cravats... it is all so pretty!

Here some early 18th century wigs:

LOOK AT THE VOLUME OF THIS FROCK COAT!!! Also, I LOVE that they kept the dark coloured hair of Jaque Catelain as Octavian in some parts:

And in other parts where he's supposed to be dressed nicer, he wears a white wig. This is also my favourite suit of the film, that looks taken straight from a Barbier illustration:

Now let's look at Paul Hartman as the Marschall. The silhouette that he wears is slimmer and fitted closer to the body than the other characters, being it from later in the century.

He wears a court outfit, that has too short breeches and too straight front:

His other main look is this suit with decorative lines, that along the riding boots, gives him the appearance of strict military dude. The front is nicely curved, and even the shoulders have a structured feel that matches the character. That's good costume design, my friends.

Over this outfit, he wears a carrick (or garrick) coat and a tricorn hat:

We also have Michael Bohen (as Ochs von Lerchenau) and Karl Forest (as Herr von Faninal). Their looks are kind of mid 18th century (?) and earlier 18th century kind of mixed together. They have different lengths of waistcoats and one of their coats (the one on Karl Forest) looks earlier to me. But in this comedy of errors, both of them are supposed to be kind of silly, so I accept that they look kind of odd. Still, better than many series I've seen lately.

So, to finish this post, here are some images from the film that I didn't use complete before, but you might want to see. Enjoy:

So, what is your favourite outfit from this film?

#1920s #18th century #period drama #opera #richard strauss #der rosenkavalier #the knight of the rose #1926 #long post

[beardedmrbean]

Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni is being urged to ban neo-fascist groups after hundreds of men were seen giving fascist salutes during a rally in Rome on Sunday night.

They were taking part in an annual commemoration for three far-right activists who were killed in the 1970s, allegedly by far-left militants.

But a video shared on social media has thrust the event into the spotlight.

In it, rows of black-clad men can be seen extending their right arms.

They are also heard shouting "Present!", in response to the rallying cry "For all fallen comrades!" - a slogan typical of the Italian far-right.

The rally is held every year to commemorate the 1978 killings of three teenage activists from the youth wing of the far-right Italian Social Movement (MSI).

Two were shot dead by suspected far-left militants outside MSI headquarters on Via Acca Larentia in Rome, while the third was killed by police in riots that followed the shooting.

No-one was ever prosecuted for the killings, which have become widely known as the "Acca Larentia massacre".

Sunday night's scenes have been condemned by parties across the political spectrum.

Elly Schlein, the leader of the centre-left Democratic Party (PD), said the images from the rally "look like 1924", referring to the era of fascist leader Benito Mussolini and his black-shirted militias.

"What happened is unacceptable. Neo-fascist groups must be disbanded, as the constitution spells out," Ms Schlein added.

The leader of the centrist Azione party, Carlo Calenda, said that the Acca Larentia commemoration was an "unacceptable disgrace in a European democracy."

Deputy Prime Minister Antonio Tajani, the leader of centre-right party Forza Italia, said that any celebration of dictatorship should be condemned and added that "there is a law stating that you cannot make an apology for fascism in our country".

Even some members of the Brothers of Italy (FdI) party - which has its political roots in the MSI - have criticised the scenes. Giovanni Donzelli said that FdI had "nothing to do with what has happened" and that those taking part in the event were "200 idiots that the left will use to judge us".

However, Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni, who is also the leader of FdI, has so far stayed silent on the matter.

Ms Meloni has commemorated the 1978 killings in the past. In 2021, she posted a Facebook tribute to the three slain activists, saying that the killings were "a tragedy where no culprit has ever been found" and calling them "a wound that has never healed".

Her equivocation stems from her own political background. Aged 19, Ms Meloni told journalists that she considered Italy's wartime fascist leader Benito Mussolini "a good politician". She entered Italian politics as a member of the MSI.

In recent years, she has tried to reposition herself as more moderate, rejecting the label "far-right" and declaring that her party had "consigned fascism to history."

But critics point to the fact that the party logo still has the tricolour flame - long a symbol of neo-fascism - and will see in her silence on the scenes from Acca Larentia a nod to the more extremist side of her support base.

The images from the Acca Larentia commemoration went viral after they were shared by La Repubblica correspondent Paolo Berizzi, but events of this kind are not unusual in Italy.

Every year, hundreds of Mussolini supporters gather in his hometown of Predappio and hold commemorative rallies that feature fascist-era slogans and gestures.

Such events spark controversy on a regular basis, with opposition parties calling for police to investigate.

However, unlike Germany, where the use of right-wing extremist symbols is banned, Italy does not have a law that prohibits the use fascist imagery or gestures. There are buildings and monuments across Italy bearing Mussolini's name.

Laws do exist "against apology for fascism" but they are vague and rarely enforced. In 2017, an attempt at passing tighter legislation failed after right-wing parties argued the proposed bill would threaten freedom of speech.

On Tuesday, Ignazio La Russa - a key ally of Ms Meloni who, as senate speaker, holds Italy's second-highest office of state - weighed into the debate, stating that making fascist salutes was "not always a crime".

Mr La Russa, who is a known collector of fascist memorabilia and has busts of Mussolini in his home, told Italian media that there was still uncertainty over how "certain gestures" are considered if they were made in the context of a commemoration of the dead.

He added that he was looking forward to an upcoming verdict by the Court of Cassation, which is set to determine whether making the fascist salute constitutes a crime.

#nunyas news

[bowl-of-shortness]

hey! this is chance & here’s the prompt for week 6. what are your oc's bedrooms like? messy? neat? carefully designed? or a collection of their favorite things? you can verbally describe or use photos, whatever you think is best.

I’ll doooooo

Each of the De La Dáinn kids’s rooms

So buckle up because there’s 13 of them. I won’t go into too much detail but I will give a brief rundown of how I imagine things to be.

Victor:

Victor’s room as an adult, in Lacus, Caerleum, is controlled chaos, and it’s very maximalist. His passion was always geography, world history, history in general, and just understanding peoples cultures and lives. He always wanted to go adventuring, but never could until he ran due to his strict, soon-to-be-lord-of-Morgana, lifestyle. His room is covered in maps, trinkets, gizmos and souvenirs from the places he did get to visit while with his party. His childhood room in Morgana looks similar but with much less to it, it’s a very good representation of how he was trying to hide who he was as there’s many things he loves hidden away in closets and drawers in there.

Arthur:

Arthur’s room is very organized and looks more like an office with bedroom furniture in it than an actual bedroom. He keeps most of his battle plans and notes in his room and he can be carefully heard writing away as he thinks of new things he can use to help Morgana and its military.

Vesper

Vesper’s room is literally covered in purple. She is a purple obsessed girl and she loves anything and everything that is the color purple. Her room is very feminine and frilly, she has a canopy bed with some sheer lavender curtains, her bedspread is a purple satin, a lovely wooden wardrobe holding somehow if not all of her clothes, and a small desk for her to write at.

Henry

Henry favors comfort over aesthetics, so his room is a patchwork of things, but needless to say there are a lot of candles, pillows, blankets, and books to spare.

Theodore

Theo always had to share a room with Ellie growing up, so now that he’s got a room to himself, he’s definitely taking advantage of that. He hangs a lot of his adventuring souvenirs up on the walls, his sword and shield are hung up, he’s got a few monster heads even (Ellie thinks this is disgusting and it creeps her out).

Eleanor

Same thing with Ellie, once she finally had a room to herself, she took advantage of it. Anything with fabric in her room is handmade, her curtains, her bedspread, her clothes, even her mattress she made herself. She keeps most of her seamstress items within her room and uses the sewing machine Pandora made for her very often. Be careful though, there may be a pin or two on the floor that she has yet to find. (She tends to wear shoes in her room until she can find the pin she dropped)

Harriet

Harriet spends hardly any time in her room, so it’s lacking attention, however the large desk she has in her room is covered in academic books and papers. Her desk may need to be replaced at the end of finals from the amount of weight being put on it…

Pandora

Pandora’s room is very cozy and also very feminine, she loves pastel colors and stuffed animals, definitely a kid at heart. She has a big, soft, and fuzzy blanket on her bed, fluffy pillows, and a nest of stuffed animals and plushies on her bed. Similarly to Victor and Theodore, she tends to display her trinkets, gadgets, gizmos and souvenirs from her adventures. Her desk is organized but has all sorts of mechanical parts on it.

Clyde

Eldest of Pandora’s cousins, Clyde’s room is very organized and neat, makes the bed every morning, dusts and washes things often. This is usually because he likes to have a clean environment while he’s typing away at the typewriter. It’s less of a nuisance to worry about when he’s tired from a long day of being a journalist and writer.

Scarlett & Cecilia

These two sisters share a room! One half is covered in lovely reds while the other is covered in soft whites. Both are very feminine, and both have large vanities that sit next to their beds. Their beds differ in the way that Scarlett prefers satin things, while Cecilia prefers mink.

It’s a very cozy and organized space

Ellis

This poor man. This poor man couldn’t organize his room even if he wanted to it’s that bad, he’s hardly ever in it and yet there’s just… stuff. Everywhere.

Thomas

Thomas is like Ellis but he could at least organize if he had time to. He just chooses not to because he’ll “get to it another day”

#alchemy brews #Victor de la dáinn #Arthur de la dáinn #vesper de la dáinn #Henry de la dáinn #Theodore de la dáinn #Eleanor de la dáinn #Harriet de la dáinn #Pandora de la dáinn #Clyde de la dáinn #Scarlett de la dáinn #Cecilia de la dáinn #Ellis de la dáinn #Thomas de la dáinn #omg that was a lot of de la dáinns holy fuck #anyways enjoy #oc #original oc #original character

[missameliep]

From lovers to strangers (Colt Kaneko x MC)

Book: Ride or Day (post canon)

Pairing: Colt Kaneko x Ellie Wheeler (MC) (past relationship)

Rating: Teen and Up (the swearing, kissing)

Word count: 3,4k

A/N: this is my submission to the first @choicesprompts : August 15th - August 31, the prompt is in bold. I hope I made it on time!

Forgive any mistakes, there was no editing this time, and it's been a really long time since I wrote for Colt.

The cool wind pushes my hair back as I walk along the familiar path, every step taking me deeper into the past. It’s been years since I’ve been here; everything is different.

Everything is the same.

I’m not paying attention to the present as I walk, I’m too lost in memories of long ago. That’s why I don’t notice the person walking towards me until I hear a familiar voice call my name.

I freeze. It can’t be. What are the odds?

I lift my head as my eyes dart wildly around before finally landing on a face I’d recognize anywhere, even now.

“It’s you.”

The late afternoon sun cast its light over us and our long shadows on the ground almost touch, but we do not. The gap between us is larger than the few feet that keeps us apart. An entire Grand Canyon separate us.

Swaggering in my direction, sporting a worn leather jacket that looks almost the same, he eyes me with curiousity until stopping a few feet away from me.

His voice echoes, filling the distance.

“Who else?”

I am not offended by the tone nor the insinuation that my previous statement was stupid. He is right. Who else but he could be here in this place and know my name?

I am surprised nevertheless.

His jet-black hair is longer and dances with the wind. The black mass of hair moves away revealing a fresh cut over his eyebrow that will leave another small scar on his beautiful face. Some of those scars were not there when we met, reminding me that time has not stopped since the evening we said our goodbyes.

It didn’t stop for me – though sometimes it stretched endlessly in my attempts to convince myself I was in the right path, pursuing the right dreams – and it certainly didn’t stop for him.

Nearly a decade went by.

Nothing remains the same.

Neither of us is the same.

Over the years, whenever I came to visit my father, I avoided places I could run into him, which was easier than I first assumed. Even the times I met with Ximena and Toby. Just picked a different club, a different crowd. It’s a big city. We could both be here at LA at the same time and oblivious about the other, coexisting in different universes, moving on and never meeting. No matter how much, deep deep deep down I wished we would meet.

This time, however, when I booked my flight, I picked one earlier than necessary, giving me two entire free days before my three-day lecture at UCLA.

I wanted to come here.

It was an unexplainable urge that possessed me ever since Roger found that box in the closet. It was like opening a faded pink Pandora’s box.

Instead of all the evils, the box contained one too large Black Sabbath t-shirt, a silly cactus that used to be in my car, a couple of instant pictures and that old phone. After so long, I was amazed it still worked, keeping pictures and messages alive from a different version of me. Little tokens and treasures in the palm of my hand. Too many memories came rushing back from a part of my life that I have tried to bury deep inside.

I didn’t say a word to Roger about the Mercy Park Crew, gangs or heists. I called it all garbage and lied about throwing that stuff away.

Ever since that day, I wanted to see the garage and visit this place. A walk down memory lane was not enough. I needed an entire tour to the past to remind myself of that rush of energy and life. I considered taking a jump off this cliffside and dive into the ocean even if it’s no longer summer and I’m not a rebellious eighteen-year-old anymore, looking for adventure and trying to prove myself.

Maybe I would find what I have lost.

Maybe I would find something to help me close this chapter of my life before moving to the next one. A chapter I don’t feel ready for. Maybe I’m just getting cold feet. People say that happens often, right?

I didn’t expect that he would be here. Not in person at least. I didn’t expect to see him so soon. Or at all. But he is right there in front of me. If I just reach out, I can touch him. Though I won’t.

My mouth opened in spite of being emptied of words and then closed.

Expectantly, he stared at me.

I know not what to say. Maybe I should leave. That is the wise choice. But I don’t turn around.

As if he was one of the samples in the lab, I study him. His unsmiling face and enygmatic eyes. My gaze roams further down. Like black tendrils crawling beneath the edge of his white t-shirt to the side of his neck, there are pieces of a tattoo I have never seen. Does he have as many tattoos as his father once had? Is it because of him? I wonder what is drawn in his skin, if they symbolize victories or losses, and how far the needle touched it. I wonder if his pains are etched in his skin as mine are in my heart.

“Why you’re staring like I’m some fucking ghost, Ellie?”

“Sorry, Colt.” Saying his name after so long is bitter and liberating at once, like removing a foreign body that has been stuck in your throat all too long. “I was not expecting to see you...”

A smirk curls the corner of his mouth, and he’s that nineteen year old boy again, the twinkling in his eyes while thinking about a clever comeback.

“Then you shouldn’t come to my spot...”

There is humour in his quip, undeniably, and something that edges irritation. Is it Colt being Colt or did he want me to be looking for him?

I don’t let myself linger in that thought. I shouldn’t presume anything or expect to be able to read him now.

I force myself to break eye contact and smile towards the cliff, answering with a joke of my own like I used to, “The garage must be doing good if it bought you the sea coast...”

He snorts with laughter, and I dare throw a glance at him over my shoulder. There’s only amusement in his expression now.

“I told you. Someday I was gonna rule this city. One cliff at a time.”

“Solid investment.”

We share a quick laugh, almost too intimate.

I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear, and his eyes accompany the motion with undivided interest. A shiver runs down my spine but I tell him the same protocolar thing I do whenever I meet some colleague or student and I feel wary on how to carry on a conversation.

“You look good.”

His lips are drawn inside his mouth in that familiar way before relaxing into a small smile that still makes my heart accelerate.

“Thanks.” The corner of his lip and an eyebrow raise at me. “Are you fishing for compliments?”

“I have a mirror, so I don’t need to fish for compliments...” I mimicked his dull tone and his eyes widened for a fraction of a second, before his expression returned to the usual resting bitch face.

“No ulterior motives?”

“Do I need one?” I snort and stare him down. “I'm just making conversation...”

A gush of wind blows our hair and pulls his jacket back. I bow, lowering my gaze to the ground to protect my eyes and his shadow has earned a pair of black wings ready to fly over the Pacific ocean. Like the myth.

As he zips up the jacket, the wings are gone.

I don't share this thought, but the tragic Icarus remains in my mind. Too young, too eager, too close to the sun. But for a fraction of his life, he flew. How many of us can say the same?

Colt glances at the ocean and back at my face, studying me. It’s so similar to the way he did the night we met. I wonder what he sees now. Would he tell me again I don’t belong here? Or that I am trying too hard? He wouldn’t be wrong.

“You're obviously hot...” his voice comes almost like a whisper, gently carried by the wind, “but the best parts of you were not your looks...”

My entire face warms with a rush of blood. I am not easily flattered, I know how attractive and accomplished I am, but his words somehow hit me differently and he knows it.

His gaze lowers in appreciation. Soon, however, the smile disappears when his eyes narrow staring at the diamond ring in my finger.

There is no use in hiding it now, but I do it anyway, shoving my hands deep in my coat pockets.

“Do you still dive?”

His gaze quickly return to mine and he waits a beat before answering my question.

“Sometimes...” His lips roll inside his mouth. “So, is that why you’re here?”

“Maybe...”

“Are you looking for company or a nudge? I can push you.”

“Always so helpful...”

“I am a helpful guy.” He takes a step forward, edging me and the cliff, and wiggles his brows. “Just say the word.”

“It’s too cold. And the sea looks rather unfriendly. I’ll probably have cramps and drown...”

He tsks me and I throw him an inquisitive glance.

“None of that would ever stop you...”

“What can I say? I am much wiser now.”

“Did the East turn you into an old boring wimpy?”

“I’m older, not old.” I cross my arms in front of my chest and look at him in defiance. “I am no longer young and stupid.”

“You were rarely stupid.”

“Thanks.” I emphatically roll my eyes and take a step back. He follows, still keeping the distance.

We both look at the ocean in silence. The roar of the waves reminding me of the dangers bellow.

“You regret?”

“What?”

“Things...”

“Wow. Could you be any more vague?” I laugh and play with my hair, curling a lock around my fingers over and over. He tries to look cool, but the way his eyes don’t waver from my face indicate eagerness for an answer.

“A fashion intervention was totally necessary back then.”

“Can’t disagree with that,” he snorted with laughter.

“Jerk.”

“Don’t come at me for agreeing with you!”

I don’t hold the laugh.

“What about the rest?”

“There are no do-overs,” I shrugg, looking back at him, “so, what’s the point? The past is not a place we can live, right?”

I try to come as nonchalant, and if he suspects I am not entire honest about it, he doesn’t say anything.

“Are you back?”

My negative comes in a shake of head.

I take a deep breath, letting the salty misty fill my lungs. The sun is slowly descending towards the ocean, painting the sky in orange shades.

“I missed this...”

“What?”

“Everything. The sunset. The ocean.”

“I heard there’s an entire ocean on the other side... Just take the I-95.”

“I already did that... It’s nice.” I lift my hands and deftly braid my hair to avoid it from getting into my face and mouth as the wind blows stronger. “It’s actually conveniently close. Beautiful sunsets. No jams. Unlike here. But...”

When I stop talking, he kicks a small rock and it falls over the cliff. I kick one too, while dancing around what we don’t talk about.

“You miss it here.”

A lump forms in my throat and I don’t trust my voice, so I nod.

He nods too and his hair falls to his face for a moment.

This is the complete opposite of what I imagined meeting Colt would be like. There are no passionate kisses nor angry shouting and fingers pointing at each other’s faces.

Years ago I desired meeting him face to face with all my heart. First in a naive and hopeful way, as if it was possible to resume what we had, ignoring that we lived in different worlds.

With each passing week without news from him, that earlier feeling turned bitter. Resentful, even. I wondered why he never reached out. How could he forget me that quickly, while I still loved him? Many times I wanted to march into the restored garage and shout that question to his face. Why did I expect that he would not forget me?

I hated myself more than I hated him for being so naive. I spiralled into self-loathing and cheap booze before focusing on the one thing I was ever good at: studying.

He moves, protecting his eyes with a hand from the dust blown by the wind, and deliberately gets closer as if about to say something. Perhaps changing his mind halfway through it, he simply shoves his hands inside his pockets and stares at the horizon.

In silence, I stand beside him.

The dusking sky is almost purple with splashes of orange and red and it is breathtaking.

I search my brain for anything else to say.

I don’t want to talk about the few but intense months we had. I don’t want to talk about the dreams and expectations that crumpled or the way I don’t fit in the roles expected from me. I don’t want to tell him I don’t know who I am or what I want anymore.

I silenced about those things to my therapist and my fiance, I will not disclose it to a stranger.

Stranger.

From lovers to strangers.

That is what we are now.

What is left to be said if you cannot say what truly matters? Do we talk about the weather or how horrible traffic is? Maybe something more controversial like what he thinks about the candidates running for Senate or what he makes of those guys who still believe in flat Earth?

I don’t want to talk about any of that either. I fear if I open my mouth now, the truths I have hidden inside me will spill like a broken dam.

Tears prickled at the back of my eyes. I press my tongue to my palate and blink them away. I force myself not to break, not to give in first.

I don’t want him to know how much I have missed him and ached for him and hated him and worked so hard to not think about him. Every unsaid word and broken promise consumed me. I once was a girl with love in my eyes but now I don’t have love nor hate for him, I am long past the hope and the anger. I don’t know what I have.

“Are you thinking about doing it?” he asked me quietly.

“Excuse me?”

“The jump.”

By his tone and the way he stares at me, I suspect he doesn’t mean the literal dive from the cliffside. Either way, I don't have an answer.

“I don’t know.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“What if I drown?”

“I wouldn’t let you...”

“Why should I trust you?”

“You shouldn’t. You should trust yourself. That’s the only thing we have in the end of the day, right?”

“Doesn’t it get lonely?”

“Only if you think about it...”

A blanket of purple and deep blue is covering the sky and I can barely make his face as the sun disappears into the ocean, taking the dive I won’t.

For a moment, Colt looks over his shoulder, distracted by the roar of a bike’s engine in the distance.

“What if it is not like I remember?”

“There is this Greek dude that wrote something like you can’t swim twice in the same river or some shit like that... Things change. It can be worse. It can be better. Who knows? But it won’t be the same anyway...”

“That is less encouraging than you think...”

“It was not supposed to be. You always knew better and never needed that kind of thing...”

“Who said I didn’t? Maybe I wasn’t as strong as you guys thought...”

“You are Ellie Wheeler. You take no shit from punk heads... Your students agree with that moto.” Colt elbowed me and I chuckled.

“How do you even know that?”

“Who says I know anything?”

I wrapped my arms, pulling my coat tighter around myself.

“What if I don’t want to jump?”

“Then you don’t.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

Years lying about acceptance and moving on crumple inside. It is Colt. I can’t help it. I feel. I feel so much. I am hit by feelings like the waves hitting the rocky shore. I crumple. I want to reach out. I want to know if I can have those feelings back, even if it will destroy me.

“Was that what you thought when you walked away from me?”

“I never walked away from you.”

“That’s bull and you know it.”

“I did what I had to do. Just like you.”

He tries to move away but I block his path.

“What do you mean?”

“We better not go there. You don’t live in the past, right?” he give me his back. “You need a ride?”

“I never moved on... from you.”

“Aren’t you engaged?”

I muttered a string of swearing against my fisted hand.

“I don’t know if I can do that. Any of that. I'm not like them.”

“You can.” He put a hand on my shoulder. “I saw you at Langston.”

“You did? When?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Tell me.”

“It was some presentation. You were doing good. Great actually, like your friend said you were... when you spoke to that packed auditorium, people were just eating in your hand... You were fucking brilliant, Ellie! I was so proud of you and I knew right there and then. I just had to step away and let you go on and live your life, do all that great stuff you’re destined to. Last week, I heard Ximena bragging about your lecture at UCLA and that you’re like this big shot and people come to hear you talk about this dope drug you created... She just talks about you even if she has no idea what this shit even is about... You inspire people, El.”

“Fuck you!” I pushed him and I felt the salty of my tears reach my lips. “How dare you? How dare you decide something that important without telling me?”

“Hey! What else was I supposed to do?”

“Stay. Talk to me. Anything. Just don’t make assumptions about me!”

“I am a criminal, El. I was on the run. I shouldn’t even be there!”

“You had my number... You knew where I lived... It didn’t have to be in the middle of campus.”

“I did for you. We can’t play dream house. You can’t introduce me to your colleagues or your financiers. I probably stole shit from them.”

The tears wouldn’t stop streaming down my face now, no matter how many times I brushed them. I wanted to be angry with him and shout. But I was sad. I could rationally understand what he said and why he did it. This was the closure I was looking for, then why doesn’t it feel like an ending?

Unexpectedly, his arms pulled me against his chest, and I buried my face in his neck.

“That hurt me so much...” I sobbed against his skin, and his hand stroked my back in a soothing motion. “I hated you. I hated me.”

Despite my resistance, I was pulled even closer, his arms impossibly tight around me.

“I love you. Always did. I just couldn’t be a fucking moron and drag you with me.”

When I managed to look up at his face, he was already looking down at me.

“I want to jump.”

“Now? Have you lost it? It’s too damn dark –”

When my lips touched his, it silenced him.

Colt was right.

It was not the same.

The kiss felt familiar and strangely new at once.

As our lips glided against the other’s and when our tongues finally met, it felt like riding a bike. Even if it wasn’t like that first time, the thrill from each ride and from moving faster and faster never failed to rush my heart. Just like being in this embrace.

His hand delved into my hair and he pulled me closer like I was the air he needed to breath. I got that. I finally felt like breathing again.

I touched his neck, letting the tips of my fingers trace the tattoo, making him shiver. His lips touched my neck, retuning the courtesy and shooing every coherent thought from my brain.

The world had submerged into darkness and the moon was over our heads when we parted breathless many minutes or hours later.

Who knows and who cares?

We made no promises and said nothing we could regret.

But as he held my hand and guided me to his bike, I knew I had made my choice.

I jumped.

We both did.

#choicesprompts #choices fanfic #ride or die fanfic #rod colt kaneko #colt kaneko x mc