Exploring Unity and Reconciliation: Miyo-wāhkōhtowin / Good Relations Project Tour
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crowley loves so much and so deeply, and while there can probably be made an argument that parts of that love are entirely selfish, i think it's more than that.
he sees creation as a way of giving things live, be it stars and nebulas or humans or plants, they all exist and thus have a right to live. i think the thought of his nebulas and the entire universe being shut down after 6k years didn't just make him sad because of the effort he put into it. he sees it as a living, breathing creature that deserve to exist on its own terms.
that is why he asked questions, it certainly played a role in why he fell, and it also puts him right in the moral grey zone because there's no way of thinking that humans deserve free will without questioning the black/white moral system.
having to play his part as a demon is entire counterintuitive to who he is as a person, and it's imo the reason why he barely has relationships with humans (and if he does, they go deep). the constant loss would kill his soul and in a way it already has.
"what's the point" is him having reached a point of depression and an impatience that has morphed into bitter resignation.
look at him returning to the bentley after his fight with aziraphale in episode one. he isn't just upset, he is tired.
what's the point in loving and trying to save those that he loves when over and over again he is told that no, everyone else matters more than you. fixing this is more important than finding the peace we deserve. helping someone who literally tried to kill us matters more than our love for each other. the universe will be created and then destroyed for nothing, you are breathing live into empty spaces and none of it will matter. in the end, the logical conclusion he undoubtedly came to is that he does not matter either.
he tried to find a purpose for his existence in aziraphale and their arrangement, in trying to be kind and do good despite everything - and see where that landed him.
rejected and alone because compared to heaven, he is worthless, and well if that isn't a familiar feeling.
i think aziraphale in 1862 has picked up on that and he isn't wrong when he thinks it's a suicide pill.
season 3 is going to be very, very interesting because i don't think crowley will go down some kind of rage and revenge path, he will just fall deeper into his depression until it threatens to swallow him whole.
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Episode 1 starts out with one of my favorite scenes ever… I only just got to know them and I already miss this Crowley.
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sekai au 👊😔
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friendly reminder for anyone who messages me: please specify what you want to talk about. if i get just 'hello' or 'hi' i honestly dont feel like moving the conversation forward. it feels like im forced to interact, and I wasn't always comfortable with that, especially if I don't know you at all.
also, messaging me hourly with just saying the same two things I will be fully convinced you're a bot and not a real human. 😅
edit: asks are always welcomed. i may not always answer them due to me not having the right thoughts in mind to reply, im busy doing work, or i just did a quick glance in my inbox and forgot about it. i know i have asks that have been sitting for months, but i hope to get around to them.
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Thinking about how Jamie left Richmond with friends on the team and probably came back expecting to have to prove himself but to still have a few friends just to come back to everyone openly hating him and mad at him and not wanting him there or to acknowledge his
Thinking about how in that interview when he was on Man City he was his usual cocky self talking about carrying his team, but he actually didn’t say anything bad about anyone outside or Roy and Ted. He talked about how all of the players on Richmond were good lads except for Roy Kent and called Ted a rodeo clown and Nate showed the team it and they all hated him enough to start throwing shit despite the fact that he wasn’t saying anything he wouldn’t have to their faces if he was still on the team and despite the fact that he was actually nicer to all the players except for Roy than he ever had been in person
Thinking about how Isaac went from being his friend and starting shit with him to breaking a TV because of his hatred toward him when Jamie really hadn’t even done anything to him and Jamie coming back to Isaac hating him as if they weren’t getting up to the exact same shit together when Jamie was there and if Isaac thought he himself was a way better person now and so was Colin but there was no chance that there could be anything redeemable in Jamie
Thinking about how Jamie left and DIDN’T talk shit about the team or make weird personal comments outside of the ones about Roy and Ted that he would have made to their faces if he was still there
Thinking about the way Nate left of his own volition and talked shit publicly every chance he got
Thinking about how Nate came back trying with everyone letting him that easily when HE was a dick in person too, left them of his own volition, and slandered them and made them a public joke for fun
Thinking about how Jamie got kicked out, DIDN’T talk shit about his friends, had to beg Ted to come back against the whole team’s wishes, and then got iced out by everyone whether it was people with a right to it like Sam or people like Isaac and Colin that had been friends with him and decided to treat him like the worst man alive to distance themselves and make themselves look better by comparison
Thinking about how Jamie think his friendships are all dependent on his spot on the team and he’s seen them disappear when he got kicked out before
Thinking about how Jamie still calls Isaac his best friend after this because he thinks he deserved all of what he got and that he was the one and only problem in that situation and how really we never see Jamie and Isaac as close again as they were in season one and there are plenty of other teammates I would have expected him to say over him
Thinking about Jamie watching Nate come back and forgiving him and knowing what it’s like to be in his place but also Jamie watching everyone else forgive him and care about him as a person that easily again while he had to fight for even Ted to let him come back and had to fight to have people even accept him being on the team again and to get them to acknowledge his existence long before he earned their friendship
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click for better quality!
the planes of existence
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There is something about making an oc and accidentally recognizing some traits you've given them are traits you can relate to
Not even trying to make a self insert and I've done those before, but seeing parts of yourself and things you struggle with and coming to a halt because I Didn't Mean To Do That. Where Do I Go From Here? Do I Continue To Develop This? There's Issues Here I'm Not Ready To Deal With Myself With.
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someone who is good at gifs please make Lou side by side, one like "dice superstitions are garbage" from Adventuring Academy, and one with him promising to be stoic because the dice apparently don't like when they cheer on death saving throws
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Hey, do you remember that really homoerotic scene from Skyfall? No? That's okay, here's a Vettonso version of it :)
- explanation & w/o text:
Hi hello, finally my weird psychosexual relationship with Casino Royale has come to fruition. Yeah this is directly based off a scene from Skyfall, but I def envision the vibe as being more like Casino Royale hehe. I can't believe I made that inspo board for this AU almost 4 weeks ago, and then ended up drawing a four panel "comic" about it. Ahhhh proud of myself, a bit, a tad. I think this took 20+ hours across the span of a week? God. Anyways I digress! The AU!!
First of all, their Bond song would be "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. It's so toxic, codependent and obsessive, I'm in love with it. And it really suits Fernando and his motivations and outlook in this AU. Basically, MI6(in the context of James Bond) in this AU is an analog for Ferrari. It picks theses guys up, tells them that they're Ferrari MI6's most special boy, chews them up, and then spits them out when they're finished extracting all their talent and skill and life force.
Much like with Ferrari, Seb in this AU replaces Fernando after Fernando loses favor and becomes undesirable. Now Seb is the new golden boy, and Fernando has turned to a life of crime! Fernando resents Seb for this of course, but also becomes obsessed with him and the idea of him , and how they are connected. It's weird to watch someone else basically go down your exact same path and unknowingly make all the same mistakes(buying into the mysticism of it all too much, being overly cocky, having naive beliefs and goals, etc.) He is caught between wanting to doom Seb even more but also wanting to "save" him, by corrupting him and convincing him to work together.
Basically: He's both a Bond girl and Bond villain.
Fernando is in such a weird place in this AU. I think he's just very dramatic. Seb is just casually living his best 007(005?) life, and Nando is watching him with binoculars, whispering to himself: "DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE NARRATIVE FOILS!?" Yeah he hates Seb, but like the song lyrics say, their lives and dreams are inherently tied up together. He would feel lost without Seb, because Seb basically, unknowingly, destroyed and then took over his life. Maybe he'll feel satisifed if he manipulates Seb into going down the exact same path a bit better.
About the drawings themselves. Still can't believe this scene is a real thing that actually happened, insane to me. But in this AU, after the events of these drawings, Fernando definitely kicked all his henchman out of the room, and fucked Seb in the chair. And then against the wall. And then on the floor. Hey man, Seb is already looking mighty delicious with his unbuttoned attire and being tied up.
I think the general plot would be that Fernando keeps trying to seduce him to the dark side, and Seb keeps making him think it worked, only to escape at the end of the encounter. Leading Fernando to just come up with increasingly more violent and kinky traps. Seb goes along with it(read: enjoys it), leaving Fernando satisifed, only to somehow escape and wink and make kissy faces at Fernando in the process. (Fernando smoking cigarette in bed: "How do I make him stay. Sigh.")
I like to think though that Fernando does win in the end, by realizing, ah wait shit I do need to actually explain my motivations to Seb. And Seb is so worn down by his job, not Fernando, and how he's being treated, that he listens, really actually listens, and realizes Fernando does really have valid reasons. And then they become evil crime husbands yayyyy. Wow you thought this was a espionage AU? Well it is, but just not the outcome you'd expect.
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°• Some song recommendations for transgroomed/manipulated/abused folx, or generally those who want music about abusive/toxic/manipulative relationships :3 (focusing on like what transgroomed is like for me)
• "hands clean" by Alanis Morisette (90s pop about groomer grooming, and how he just got away with it and kept his metaphorical hands clean)
• "i threw glass at my friend's eyes and now I'm on probation" by Destroy Boys (punk rock, about the complicated feelings of both hating your groomer and wanting to stay with them) (THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SONG LISTEN TO IT PLEASE)
•"i hope you're hungry" by Sodikken ("misery meat" on some platforms) (weirdcore-y, using a nice cannibalism metaphor for letting yourself be abused in a relationship) ("people eater" is like the song that goes with it which is from the POV of the abuser)
•"i miss the misery" by Halestorm (metal/rock/idk genres, about missing the abuse of an abusive relationship)
•"vixen" by Destroy Boys (punk rock, sapphic, "trouble waits for a victim/I wouldn't mind being yours/seduce me, I'll come back for more")
•"all you wanna do" from Six the musical (about being groomed and manipulated multiple times, every time thinking the guy is the right one for you but they all just want to use you + like humour as a coping mechanism??)
•"drown me" by Junie & TheHutFriends (very weird /pos, about being in a toxic relationship but wanting that? Idk how to explain it it's very non-literal, also stuff like "would you like to see my world" "i see why I've never felt this way before".)
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tagging some art reminded me. i think it's the animator in me but it's my favourite thing in the world to see artists draw their oc simplified down to their barest shapes & details
i love it when people draw their ocs like this. like yes!!! tell me what features define them, hand over their basic shapes, give me the tools to make them a more animation friendly design Immediately in my brain!!!
it's so fun to me. i'm half a step away from making a flondon oc cartoon in my brain i swear
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8/15.
(higher quality version here because tumblr hates me </3)
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You ever get lulled into a false sense of security during the first two thirds of a kid's movie that's good with a serious plot but mostly a pretty fun time, only to have the entire final third tear your heart out, chew it up and spit it out, crush it into even finer paste beneath its heel, and add the fine powder your ribs have been turned into by the sledgehammer it whammed you with as a seasoning?
Anyway Nimona was great, 10/10 would recommend, I was crying on and off for what probably totaled 20 minutes of tears.
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