#I AM NOT FIXING JAKE HE CAN STAY LOOKING DUMB

[harpoonsnotspoons]

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#Now technically #It'd make more sense for Dirk to be Yuri and Jake to be Monika #But well #Evil ai #Couldn't help myself #And also Dirk can't be in the lineup #Who do you think is playing the game? #homestuck #ddlc #doki doki literature club #jake english #homestuck jake #jane crocker #jane homestuck #roxy lalonde #roxy homestuck #lil hal #hal strider #hal homestuck #lil hal homestuck #redraw #🕶️🔌 #Also as I was drawing Jane I realized she deserves more love #She was nice #Everyone should go love Jane #I AM NOT FIXING JAKE HE CAN STAY LOOKING DUMB

[ohtobeleah]

Please do more for the Rooster concept where the reader has a daughter! Step!dad Rooster x reader is such a great one.

Alright here we go. Another series. But honestly down bad for this one. Only fluff ahead. Based off this concept

***~***~***~

“There’s no way a bird did this—“ You huffed as you practically hung half your body over into Jake Seresins Super Hornet right engine bay. This was the last thing you wanted to be looking at at three thirty in the afternoon. “You idiot—!” Shaking your head in disbelief as you pulled feathers from the rotors. Watching as they fell from your grapes, floating down to where Jake stood below you.

“Well it’s not like I could really control it now could I?” Jake groaned in response to your dismay as he stood holding the bottom of the ladder for you. He’d been able to manage a controlled landing with one engine. Most pilots couldn’t even imagine having to do that on their best day, but Hangman? He remained as calm and as level headed as he could. “Reckon you can fix her up?”

“I mean I’ll give it my best shot, but I’m no miracle worker.” Climbing down the ladder a little before you jumped to the ground with a soft thud. Dusting the oil and gunk your gloves had collected on to your technician suit before pulling them off and pocketing them. “I’d say about two, three days tops she’ll be out of action though—I dunno if I’ll need to order parts—“

“What can you do overnight?” Your eyes grew a little wider as you crossed your arms over your chest. Wondering just where the hell on god's green earth Jake Hangman Seresin had found the audacity to come into your workshop and demand you pull overtime just for him. “Please? come on it’s my baby—“

“Jake I gotta pick my daughter up this afternoon—“ You groaned in defiance. “How’s it fair you get to knock off early after wrecking a multi million-dollar fighter jet and I’ve gotta stay back and fix your mess?” You had known Jake pretty much your entire life. He was like a brother, well– he was more than a brother considering your actual brothers hadn’t spoken to you since you were sixteen.

“All I asked Fe, is what you could do for me overnight.” Hangman smirked as he packed away the workshop ladder for you. “What can you do for me this afternoon at least?” It was almost comical just how much he really needed you from time to time. If you couldn't fix his F-18, he’d be grounded till someone else could figure it out.

“I can pick the feathers from the engine bay and clean out your intake but even that’s gonna take me like two, two and a half hours considering you missed your last service.” You said it with the deadest of deadpans you could give the blonde who had taxied into your workshop just as you were getting ready to shut up shop for the day. The old hangar had been turned into a workshop for the F-18’s on site in Miramar. “I might even be able to fix the combustion chamber—but I’ll need you to pick up Odette from after school care.”

“Yeah, I can't do that either–” Jake knew what would happen next, it had happened too many times for him to not be able to expect it. An open hand came his way, but he grabbed your wrist with just enough time to spare before it connected with his chest. “I have a date! I can't!”

“Then I can’t fix your dumb plane!” You counted as you ripped your wrist from Jake's grasp. “I have to pick my daughter up, Hangman– I can't just leave her there!”

“Bradshaw can pick her up!” It was a suggestion you couldn't even believe Jake was submitting into the conversation. “He’d be so down for that.”

“I am not asking Rooster to pick my daughter up from daycare.” You were quick to dismiss the idea from whatever reality Jake was trying to conjure up. He knew you and Bradley had a thing. Everyone did. But he also knew you were too stubborn for your own good. “Don't do this to me, Jake it's not fair, you know better than anyone Dot gets attached to people and if I–”

“If you let Bradshaw pick her up just this once.'' Jake reached out to hold your shoulders tenderly, shaking you gently as he smirked in front of your face. He knew exactly what he was doing. “The world will not stop spinning Fe.” Jake stood there for a moment with his hands still on your shoulders before he let go. Sauntering over to your workshop desk in search of your phone. He’d known for a while now just how down bad Rooster really was for you and if anyone was good enough for you it was Bradley ‘family means everything to me’ Bradshaw. “Call him, just see what he says.”

“What if he's got plans?” Jake caught the sudden nervousness coming through in your questioning before you had even noticed your exterior had changed. Dropping the independent single parent act you tried your best to display more often than not. But even you had to admit from time to time it took a village to raise a child, and you were certainly no tribe of your own. “What if he just doesn't want to?” Jake just raised a brow in response. See, it wasn’t that you didn't want to ask, it was that you were afraid of the answer.

With Jake it was a given–he had been there since the day Dot was born. He was her uncle, her godfather, her babysitter and best friend. Rooster? Well, he didn't sign up to be a father to another man's child just because he thought you were cute. You didn't want to push that narrative on him either.

“If Bradshaw generally can't, I will call and cancel my date.” Jake held your phone out to you, watching as you took it with hesitation and reluctancy. “But you have to call and ask him first.” If looks could kill Jake Seresin would be a dead man. He’d backed you into a corner you couldn't get out of. But for all it was worth, he watched as you unlocked your phone, stepping away as you held the phone up to your ear, biting your bottom lip as not one, not two, but three rings rang out against your eardrum before.

“Hey Fe, what's going on?” Oh if you could physically melt into a puddle at the sound of someone's voice, Badley would have that effect on you. Jake swore he saw your eyes light up as you turned to face him again. Only now instead of your lip you were chewing on the cuticles of your nails. Pacing back and forth like a madwoman.

“Hey Roos I uh, I need a favour–but please feel free to say no, I can always have Hangman–” Before you could finish your sentence Rooster was smirking as he packed his things away into his locker. Holding his phone between his shoulder and ear.

“Whatever you need.” Rooster let his gaze linger on the photo of you he had in his locker. Just a candid picture he'd taken of you working on something in your workshop. Mirimars resistance technician. “I'm just about to have a shower, but after that I'm free.” You usually would have made a comment about if there was any room in that shower for you, but with Jake still standing right in front of you waiting for you to ask the all important question, you didn't feel like now would be an appropriate time for you to stroke Bradleys ego. “Y/n you there?” Fuck. He said your name, your actual name. You only ever really heard mum or Fe these days. But Bradley, saying your name? Always got you far too good.

“Uh, yeah no no I'm here–I uh, I was just wondering if you'd be able to pick Dot up from daycare this afternoon?” The silence they came through from the other end of the line was deafening and for a moment you thought you'd crossed a line. “Rooster you can say no–”

“No, no ill uh, I’ll grab her.” Why would he ever say no? “I just wasn't expecting that to be the favour.”

“Yeah well, Hangman just taxied into my workshop after a bird strike, gonna try to get him up in the air again so he’ll stop pestering me.” You explained as you sent Jake a look—he had been lucky on two fronts this afternoon. You heard Roosters locker shut before he replied.

“He alright?” You caught the slight tone of concern flooding through the phone.

“Despite his best efforts, I think he’ll live.” You mumbled under your breath as Jake stood gloating. He knew Bradshaw would be down for a date with Dot. “Are you sure you’re okay to pick Odette up?”

“Consider it sorted.” Rooster still held his phone between his shoulder and his ear as he unbuttoned his flight suit. The warm water from the head of the shower could be heard through the phone as you imagined him standing before you. Exposed. “Besides, it gives me an in with the hot mum I’ve been trying to seduce for the past few months.” Rooster teased.

“Oh I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” You and Bradley Bradshaw had been in this situationship for a few months now. He’d flirt with you, you’d flirt back—but everytime you thought things were getting a little too much, you’d pump the breaks. Rooster knew why, he didn’t mind waiting. In fact he quite enjoyed the game of cat and mouse, convinced wholeheartedly that with enough persistence and sheer determination he’d win you and subsequently your daughter over too. “I’ll come by yours the second I’m finished here?”

“Yeah cool, I’ll uh, I’ll see you then.”

“Thanks Bradley.” You cooed, a bashful smile gleaming across your face as you turned on your heels. “I really appreciate it.”

“It’s not a problem, honestly—anytime.” Rooster smiled to himself before he said his goodbyes. Sighing as he let his shoulders relax under the warm water with every intention of making sure his first little not so ‘daddy daughter date’ with your daughter would go as seamlessly as ever. Hanging up the phone Jake was quick to say he told you so.

“Told you he’d froth that shit up.”

“You are unbelievable, you know that?” You huffed as you dialled your daughter's day care. “I hope your date stands you up.”

“Oh I don’t have a date—“ You were about to lunge at his throat, claw deep enough so that his life would flash before his eyes. But as always, some divine intervention saved Jake Seresins life.

“Hello Sunny Side—“ The woman answered the phone.

“Hi, my names Y/n Y/l/n and I’d like to make an amendment to my daughter’s registered list of persons for pick up please?” You waited a few moments as the line went silent, only the sound of a computer keyboard being tapped away at filled the void.

“Who would you like to nominate?”

“Uh, his name is Bradley, Bradley Bradshaw.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster x f!reader #top gun rooster #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw x female reader #rooster bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x y/n #bradley x y/n

[greta-van-chaos]

Forget It

Pairing | Jake Kiszka x Reader Warnings | Smut, angst, dirty talk, public sex, cursing

~

He knew I didn't want to come to the damn party. I always felt lost in the crowds of people that always seemed to flock around Jake and tonight was no exception. Like the wallflower I am I stand with a martini glass in my hand, back against the fridge in the small, secluded kitchen. I have a perfect view of my boyfriend from here and from what I can see, he hasn't noticed that i'm in his line of sight. Sighing I push off of the cool metal surface, downing the rest of my drink and slamming it onto the kitchen counter dramatically. I dig in my pockets for cigarettes' as a spur of the moment decision to go outside hits me.

Passing a clump of people crowding in the doorway to the living room I lock eyes with Josh and mouth smoke so at least someone will know I'm gone, he nods in understanding and waves. Josh was always the more polite of the twins, he was soft inside and out, whereas Jake was more serious and focused. There are two thick red curtains that hang from the middle of the wall and although it's perfectly normal to have curtains in front of a glass door, these look out of place. I push them aside to open the door and fix them back into place before shutting the hatch behind me. The air outside is cool enough to raise goosebumps across my skin but not cold enough to wear anything more than a sweater. I plop down onto the steps of the brick red patio and fish out a cigarette from the almost empty box. I smoke in silence for a few minutes, allowing the nicotine to calm my ever growing frustration. Jake hadn't talked to me or even looked at me since we walked in, I could have left and he probably wouldn't have noticed until he decided to leave and the car was gone... but now I'm here and I'm not going to leave, even if I hate it when he drags me to these dumb parties. I swivel around, startled when the sliding door to the backyard clicks shut. Jake stalks towards me, a glowering look on his face.

"What are you doing out here?" He grunts, sitting down beside me.

"Why do you care" I take a final drag from my cigarette and turn my head to the side to blow out the smoke, stamping it under my foot.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean" His voice grows agitated and I watch his brows furrow angrily, even when he's mad he's so damn gorgeous.

"Really Jake? You haven't spoken a word to me since we got here, you're not paying attention to me at all. Not to say that you have to stay with me all night but you've been acting like I don't exist" I laugh humorlessly and light another cigarette, as I take a drag I tip my head, exhaling the smoke as I speak "You knew I didn't want to come"

"Christ" He huffs under his breath, running his fingers through his hair. "Why are you being like this? I told you about the party like a month ago!" He snatches the cigarette from me and stands up, leaving it between his lips to reach his hand out to me. "Let's fucking go" He grumbles around the cigarette.

"No, Jake, It's fine, we're already here" He grabs my wrist, pulling me up harshly and I try to yank it away "Stop Jake, don't make this more than it needs to be"

He scoffs and holds my wrist tighter, dragging me along as he starts to walk to the door, spitting out the cigarette and stomping on it "I'm the one making this more than it needs to be?" He turns back to look at me with wide eyes "You've got to be fucking kidding me" He lets go of me and I hold my wrist to my chest rubbing it soothingly. "You're the one complaining that you don't want to be here and I'm the one trying to take you home! How is this my fault?"

"Forget it" I spit, attempting to pass him but he grabs my hips and pushes me against the brick wall of the house.

"You're not going anywhere" He growls, pinning my hands above my head with one hand. "You want my attention? Now you've got it" He forces my legs open with his thigh and runs and hand down my neck and between my breasts, letting his fingers sweep lightly over my clothed center.

"Jake" I breathe, closing my eyes to hold in my growing arousal.

"What do you want?" He leans down and kisses my neck, taking away my ability to speak. I tilt my head back and my chest rises and falls heavily. "Words, princess"

I take a second before responding. Knowing him he'd take me right here right now without another thought but was it really a clever idea when anyone could walk out and see us? Our fights and arguments always ended in incredible sex, tonight wasn't going to be an exception and I wasn't waiting until we got home. "I want you, Jake"

"Is this what you wanted from me? Wanted to me stay home and fuck you all night?" When I don't respond, my eyes half-lidded with lust he leans into my ear. "Turn around, show me how much you want my attention." I gulp and turn to put my hands against the wall when he lets go. I start un-buttoning my jeans and I hear a zipper behind me. He yanks my pants to my ankles and slaps my ass before pushing me harshly into the wall, his body flush against mine. Jake nudges my legs open with his own, holding me so my legs are spread for him. His fingers brush against my panties and he sighs heavily into my ear "So wet, all for me, such a good little slut"

I lose all function as he rips my panties down my legs and runs his hard cock up my slit, my wetness coating him. I sigh and grind against his dick. His breath is heavy against my neck as he pushes into me. "Jake" I gasp.

When he doesn't move I groan and reach back, grabbing some of his hair and tugging on it so his mouth is against the back of my neck. He hums against me "You want me to move?"

I let out an open mouthed moan as I rut against him "Please, Jakey"

The nickname makes him grip my hip tighter "Beg"

Warmth floods my veins and I moan again "Please Jake, please fuck me, I need you so bad" He pulls out a bit and thrusts back into me, his dick already nudging my g-spot but he stills himself again.

"You can do better than that, slut"

"Jakey, please I'll be so good for you, fuck me please, I need you so bad, I'll be such a good girl"

Wordlessly he begins to thrust again, setting a slow and torturous pace, his hips swiveling and snapping forward. "Am I paying enough attention to you now?" I sigh, remembering that there are other people still inside the house and trying to keep in my moans. He catches on to how I'm holding back and grabs a fistful of my hair, pulling it so my head is angled sideways and so he has access to the side of my neck. "Don't stop, I want to hear you" He mumbles, sucking at the delicate skin of my neck and coloring it purple.

"But the party"

"Didn't sound like you cared very much earlier, did it princess?"

My cheek is pressed against the brick wall and my mouth has fallen open, a trail of spit dribbling down my chin. Jake increases his pace and I grip his hair again, pulling him against me harder. I feel release coiling in my stomach and my breathing becomes heavy. I reach a hand down to circle my clit but Jake is fast and bats my hand away, replacing it with his own, the rough pads of his fingers working against my tight bundle of nerves, pushing me closer to my climax. "I'm gonna cum" I whine, tears welling in my eyes as the pleasure becomes almost too intense.

"Then cum, cum all over my cock like the attention seeking slut you are" A strangled moan leaves my lips as my orgasm wracks through my body. I shake against him and I can feel Jake's hips start to stutter. He continues to thrust into me, allowing me to ride out my high as he reaches his. He buries his face in my hair as he cums, his obscenely deep moans filling my ears and shooting straight to my core. He waits a minute before pulling out and tucking himself into his pants. I still stand spread against the wall, coming down from my high. Jake helps me pull up my pants and underwear and turns me around. "Are you okay?"

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss as an answer, our lips clashing against each others in a careless embrace. He pushes me back up against the wall and I hook a leg around his waist. When I pull away his eyes are half-lidded and his mouth is slightly open from the kiss. "Take me home, Jake"

If you want to be tagged in upcoming posts you can join my taglist!

#jake kiszka #greta van fleet #gtv #fanfic #writers on tumblr #jakekiszka #gretavanfleet

[supernaturalgirl20]

Congrats on 200!!!! I’m so proud of you.

Ok, so I had a dream about Ricky the other night. He was 1000% not on my radar, but now he is. LOL so I’m requesting “No panties, baby girl?” With Ricky.

Thank you my dear 😊 ah yeah 😍 Ricky can kinda just sneak up on ya 🥰 hope you enjoy ☺️

Jealousy

Pairings: Ricky Hauk x reader

Warnings: Smut 18+, explicit, slight angst, jealousy, fluff.

When Ricky got accepted into the creative writing course you were so proud of him. His mother finally letting him attend after realising how talented he was. Of course you’d always known, being his girlfriend for the last two years he’d written you countless poems, which you cherished. Lately though, he’s been really busy, in college during the week, working in the garage at the weekend. You haven’t seen him in over three weeks, it’s the longest you’ve gone since you both started dating.

Tonight, Ricky has invited you to a poetry reading in the old book store in town. Excited to spend some time with him, you wear your cute little floral dress, the one he loves to rip off you. The thought of him touching you with his slightly rough hands sends a spark straight to your core. Deciding to be a little bold, you forgo wearing any panties, with the hopes that Ricky will bring you to your favourite spot. The sound of a car horn rips you from your thoughts, looking out the window you see Ricky wave up at you. You practically race out the door and jump into his arms. He swings you around before gently pushing you up against his truck. He kisses you the way a drowning man drinks water, it’s all yearning and desperation. Pulling away from him to catch your breath

“Baby, my mom is watching.”

Looking towards the window, sure enough your mom is there. Ricky gives her a quick wave before helping you inside the truck. He has his hand on your thigh the entire drive. He fills you in on his course and how Joey is getting on in school. You don’t tell him that you know, because you’ve been helping him with a few of his projects. Arriving at the book store hand in hand, Ricky introduces you to some of his college friends. They seems nice and are thankfully easy to talk too. It isn’t until she walks in that the atmosphere shifts slightly. She walks straight towards Ricky, swaying her hips as she does. He’s quick to drop your hand and pull her into a hug. Her name is Casey and she is undeniably beautiful, with her emerald green eyes and blonde hair. He seems captivated by her, choosing to sit beside her for the reading, leaving you with Caleb. Your hurt and doubt begins to creep in as you watch the two of them deep in conversation. Maybe he’s been with her the last couple of weeks, making it seem like he was too busy to meet. Maybe he’s moving on to someone who has more things in common with him than you. Well if he’s going to ignore you the whole night, so will you. When the reading is over, you spot Jake from the supplier company for the hardware store. You won’t lie, he’s gorgeous, that surfer dude vibe doing him wonders. As soon as he sees you, his eyes light up. He finishes talking to the guy next to him and strides towards you.

“Hey Y/N, didn’t expect to see you here!” His eyes rake over your form and you can see desire building behind them. “You look beautiful by the way.”

Blushing, “thank you, not so bad yourself. What are doing here?”

“Oh, that guy over there with the long hair and glasses, that’s my friend Hudson. He organised the reading, said I better show up, give my support.”

“Ah I see, not a big fan of poetry then? I’m not surprised you seem more athletic, am I right?”

“You hit the nail on the head. Football. Although lately I haven’t much time, been helping dad with the business takes a lot of my time. Course you know all about that. How are your parents?”

You can feel eyes on you, and sure enough when you turn slightly, Ricky is staring right at you. There’s a fire brewing behind his eyes and you know you’ve struck a cord. Deciding that making him jealous is the only way your going to get what you want, you play into it. You twirl your hair with your fingers and smile brightly up a Jake.

“Oh their great, their actually heading away for their anniversary soon, 30 years married.”

“Wow, that’s along time. Hope I reach that milestone some day.”

“Oh I’m sure you will, I’d say there are loads of women vying for your attention.”

“Oh…well…..I suppose….just not found the right girl yet.”

Running your hand up his arm, “maybe you’ll find her soon?”

You can see the pink tinge on his cheeks. Suddenly an arm is wrapped around your waist and your pulled into something hard and warm. Looking up you see Ricky staring straight at Jake.

“Hey man, how do you know my girlfriend?”

“Oh…I deliver to the hardware store.”

“Cool. Baby you ready to go?”

“What already, but I was just…”

He doesn’t give you a chance to finish what you we’re saying. He pulls you along through the store and out to the street. He looks around, as if he’s searching for something, before pulling you into the nearest alley. Without hesitation, he pushes you up against the wall.

“What was that in there?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb, that guy in there, you were all over him.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“That’s rich coming from you. You do realise YOU invited me tonight, YOU said you wanted to spend time with me. As soon as Casey walks in, I’m forgotten about.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I didn’t forget about you..”

“You did! If you don’t want me anymore fine, but don’t string me along Ricky, I deserve better.” He can hear the sadness in your voice. He tilts your chin upward so your looking at him.

“Baby, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise ok. I love you. Yes I get along with Casey, but she’s not you. Never will be. Your it for me Y/N, me and you.”

“I love you too and I’m sorry about Jake. I was just angry and wanted to make you jealous.”

He kisses you passionately taking your breath away. His hands are roaming all over your body. One hand slides it’s way down, lifting up the skirt of your dress. He runs it up your thigh towards your heat. He lets out a guttural moan.

“No panties, baby girl?!”

You’ve lost the ability to speak, nodding your head instead. You look him in the eye and you can see their blown wide with lust. He’s frantic now, unbuttoning his trousers and pulling them down to his knees. He can’t wait anymore lining himself up at your core and with one thrust he is deep within you. You can feel very ridge of him inside you. His cock pulses as he waits for you’re permission.

“You can move baby.”

You don’t have to tell him twice as he pounds into you without abandon. It’s so raw and the thought that if someone walked by and looked into the alley they would see you, set your body on fire. The moans that he’s letting out turn you on even more.

“God baby…..so…..hot and wet…..all mine.”

“Yes….all yours.”

Pleasure coils into a tight knit in your belly, threatening to unravel at any moment. You cry out as fierce waves of pleasure crash over you. Your body trembling with force of your climax and Ricky follows you over the edge with a groan, as he releases inside you. Your both panting hard. Ricky fixes your dress before pulling his trousers back up. He pulls you flush against him, “you ok baby?”

“Yeah, that was amazing. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Do you wanna stay at mine tonight? We can snuggle on the couch and watch a movie?”

“That sounds so good right now, also I’ve spent three weeks without you. Damn right I’m staying over.”

He kisses you again before you get into his truck and drive towards his house. A thought enters your head, if this is how he reacts, I’ll have to get him jealous more often. Smiling you stare at him, “I love baby.”

“I love you to forever and always.”

Tagging:

@lunaserenade @anaaaispunk @librariantothejedi @day-off-inkyoto @asta-lily @maievdenoir @elinedjarin @dindjarinneedsahug @pascal-rascal424 @pintsizemama @seasonschange-butpeopledont @janelongxox @stevie75 @thorins-queen-of-erebor @dihra-vesa @loserrlauraa @kirsteng42 @ikinmahlen @almaeunice @jediknight122 @colorlesswhispersunknown @rosie-posie08 @alberta-sunrise @javierpinme @pascalisthepunkest

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #ricky hauk x reader #ricky hauk x f!reader #pedro pascal x female reader #ricky hauk x you #pedro pascal fanfiction #ricky hauk fic

[ashintheairlikesnow]

42 for Jake and kauri?

42. — foolish

CW: Aftermath of physical and emotional abuse, abuse survivor repeating gaslighting/emotional abuse received from abuser, internal victim-blaming, referenced past conditioning and noncon, VERY vague brief reference to child abuse

TIMELINE: Kauri’s initial stay at the safehouse, while recovering from cutting out the shock implants

"Kauri.” Jake’s voice is firm, and he takes Kauri’s hand and moves it away, shaking his head. “I’m not going to do that with you.”

“Why not?” Kauri can’t help the whine that edges his voice, the panic that skirts around a plea. “Why can’t I choose?”

“You can choose,” Jake says, his voice unchanging. He squeezes Kauri’s hand once, and then moves it so it’s on Kauri’s leg instead of his. He lets go and looks away. “But you can’t choose me. I have to be safe, for you. You have to learn how to be safe without this.”

“B-but it wouldn’t be the same with you,” Kauri tries, shifting, trying to get Jake to look at him. He feels twisted, wrung out and dry. The bandages over his collarbone crinkle, hints of red starting to dot along it, but the infection is mostly gone, and the doctor they keep sneaking in to look at him says the infection is almost gone. 

The fever is gone, at least. 

He reaches out, and Jake pulls away from him, standing and moving over to the window. “Kauri...” Jake sighs, and Kauri’s heart drops, lands somewhere around his knees, jerks back up into his chest. He can’t breathe around its sudden weight, and the awful familiarity of that sound. 

That sigh.

You’re so fucking stupid, Kor-Bore. Rocks in your fucking head, that’s what you’ve got. No wonder you signed up for this, easier than having to think, for you, isn’t it?

I love you

You’re stupid

You’re so fucking stupid

You’re so lucky someone like me is here to love you no one else would

“Jake-”

 “Fucking you,” Jake says with his jaw set, “is the same thing as hurting you, right now, Kauri. And I won’t hurt you.”

“No, I didn’t mean that,” Kauri says, speaking quickly, trying to get ahead of it. “I didn’t mean you-... you don’t have to-... I didn’t mean it that way.” He laughs, airy and nervous, it’s not believable, it’s not as good as he usually is at laughing past fear, making nice, knuckling under.

“What did you mean?” Jake turns to look at him, and Kauri can’t stand to look up. If his eyes are cold, he’ll melt. He’ll be unwanted, and he can’t not be wanted. If no one wants him, the world drifts, feels surreal, impossible. 

You’re only worthwhile if someone wants you, Handler Everly whispers against his ear, over his neck, the collar he no longer wears. And what are you good for, trainee?

I am an active p-participant in fulfilling my owner’s desires-

And what else?

Nothing. Nothing else.

Good boy.

“It’s... it’s not how it sounded, I swear. I just, I said it wrong, I just s-said it wrong.” If he can do this fast enough, he won’t have to hear Jake say the words he’s scared of, he can say them instead. “I didn’t-... I was being stupid again. I’m sorry. I’m, you know, it’s just-... it’s not like you want me for my brilliant problem-solving, or anything, it was d-dumb, dumb of me to, to, I’m sorry, Jake. I get so fucking stupid about, um, about everything, it’s-” Another nervous laugh, somehow now that he’s started he can’t seem to stop. “I mean it makes sense, we’re not, we’re just-... it’s not like they want us smart, right, not the ones like m-me, I shouldn’t-... It’s, you know, the ones like me - we’re weak, and cowards, and we only know one way to fix anything-”

“Kauri, stop.” He looks up to find Jake right in front of him again, and somehow he hadn’t noticed him moving despite all his muscle and height until he’s right here, and he takes Kauri’s hands in his. Kauri’s feel cold, clammy with nervous sweat, and Jake’s are warm and dry. He squeezes Kauri’s hands, once, and then pulls him close, into a hug that’s so tight he can barely breathe.

Somehow, it helps. Kauri jerks in a breath, and then another, and then a third. Each comes a little easier than the last.

“Did he tell you you’re stupid?” Jake asks, chin on Kauri’s head, holding him. 

“E-everyone knows I’m stupid,” Kauri says, speaking into Jake’s shirt, feeling it dampen with tears, but if Jake notices, he doesn’t let go. “Everyone knows. I only kn-know, I only, I’m only good for spreading my-”

“Sssshhhh, no, you’re not. You’ve got so much else in you, you just have to heal enough to have the time to find it. You’re not stupid, Kauri. I promise. But I-I can’t do that with you. I know that’s hard, for you. I get it. But I can’t. I’d cut my own fucking hand off before I’d hurt you like that with it.”

“B-but you want to, right? I’m, I’m still-... worth wanting, though, right?”

Jake’s quiet for a moment, then murmurs into Kauri’s black curls, “Someone is going to be willing to burn it all down for you one day, Kauri, I promise. You’re worth it. It just can’t be me.”

Kauri wonders if what he feels is sadness or relief. He’s not sure he can tell the difference. “What if I wanted you to burn something down for me?”

Jake laughs, and some of the tension in Kauri relaxes. “Yeah, well, try me in a few years, we’ll see what happens. But I’m here to help you, Kauri. And I can’t do that this way. Come on, sit with me on my bed, we’ll watch a movie. Just... just don’t talk about yourself the way he talked about you.”

“Wh-why not?”

“Because he’s a fucking liar,” Jake says, heavily. “He was scared if you thought anything good about yourself you’d realize you could leave him. Trust me... I, I’ve heard that shit before, okay?”

“When?”

Jake swallows. “Doesn’t matter. Just trust me. I’ve heard it and I know it’s just a trick weak-ass assholes use because they know if we know what we’re capable of, we won’t let them-... you won’t let him hurt you anymore. Do you know how hard it is to pull off what you did? You jumped out of a moving fucking car because you knew he couldn’t stop right away. You made it on your own for weeks. You cut shit out of your own skin. You’re smart, and strong, and brave. Don’t let his voice be the only one in there. Don’t let his voice sound like yours.”

#trauma recovery whump #whump #jake the shelter guy #erase to control #future kauri #referenced noncon #referenced conditioning #box boy #box boy universe #box boy multiverse #brief referenced child abuse #gaslighting tw #emotional abuse tw #just referenced but still #trauma response #abuse survivor tw

[holdwiththosewhofavorfire]

Don’t Say It Doesn’t Matter, Cause You Know It’s Gonna Matter To Me

Title: Don’t say it doesn’t matter cause you know it’s gonna matter to me

Prompt: “Hey! If you’re taking requests I was thinking maybe Kie x JJ where she has to bail JJ out of jail so she starts scolding him and ends up yelling out that she loves him? Thanks!! xo” 

Fandom: Outer Banks

Pairing: JJ/Kie

Notes: Title from “Alone with you” by Jake Owen. I am always taking prompts!

Bzzzzzzz, Bzzzzzzz, Bzzzzzzzz. Kiara groaned, roused from possibly her first nightmare free sleep since John B and Sarah Cameron sailed into the storm three months prior. She blindly stabbed at her phone’s screen until she managed to answer it. “Hello?” She muttered, expecting JJ or Pope to be on the other end.

Five minutes later, she was in the car, clenching the steering wheel so hard her knuckles were white. She drove in a blind rage through the darkened streets of the island, barely aware of her surroundings. The jail parking lot was mostly empty when she pulled in—only a few sheriff patrol cars and three very fancy vehicles that definitely belonged to Kook parents.

Kiara stormed into the waiting area, apparently just behind Topper’s mother and two other Kook dads whom she barely recognized from the Club. The Kooks were in the process of being released. Topper made a point of avoiding her eyes as his mother filled out paperwork. She ignored him. The last few months, she’s been too tired and sad to give a shit about Kooks, or rivalries, or really anything that wasn’t being there for JJ and Pope. Which brought her to now.

“I’m here for JJ Maybank. Is he ok?” She asked the officer at the desk, words tumbling over themselves. “Can I see him?”

The officer looked her over. “Uh, normally we only release kids to their parents.”

Kie cocked her hip and crossed her arms. “You wanna call Luke Maybank at this time of night? You wanna be responsible for that?”

It’s a small island. People know each other. The man pursed his lips, “I’ll get him from the holding cell.”

The Kook families filed out, the annoyed scolding reaching her ears until they each got into their respective cars to go to their respective homes and live their respective problem free lives. It must have been so strange for those parents to get this kind of call in the middle of the night. So strange that suddenly Kooks were being held responsible for their actions.

She sank into a chair and buried her face in her hands. She was so tired. Everything had been heavy since John B died…disappeared…was lost at sea. The remaining Pogues haven’t really talked about it so she can’t even characterize it. One night soon after the storm, JJ had gotten drunk and yelled at Kie and Pope for being quiet. He’d said, “You act like you’re mourning. They made it through. They’re somewhere warm and tropical and we’ll get a postcard in a few months. Stop being sad!”

It was intense denial but Pope and Kiara just…went with it. It was easier. Since then, Kie had been precariously balancing the Kook academy, shifts at the Wreck, and hanging out with JJ and Pope—trying desperately to be normal and not actually being able to remember what normal was or how to be that. JJ ending up in a holding cell was not new, necessarily, but him being alone in a holding cell, outnumbered 3 to 1 by Kooks, that was new.

“Here’s your boy.” The officer announced, JJ in tow.

JJ met her eyes as soon as she stood up. Well, his left eye met hers. His right was swollen almost shut, black and blue. There was a shadow of a bruise on his cheekbone too, and his hands were cut up. Kie didn’t trust herself to speak at the moment, so she just quietly thanked the officer and ushered JJ out to the car.

They didn’t speak for several minutes—Kiera because she was attempting to sort through the rush of emotions and also because ever since, well, that day, she’s been trying to not fly off the handle, especially around JJ. JJ was probably quiet because he was trying to figure out how to make a joke out of this.

She drove roughly half-way to the Chateau—still their go to hangout spot, still where JJ spent most nights—before she said a word. “Ok.” Kiara took a deep breath. “Want to explain to me what all that was about?” The night was too black and the Cut was too unlit to take her eyes off the road.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him shrug. “I ran into some Kooks. Shit went down. Same old, same old.”

“Where did you run into them?” She asked, knowing there was more to the story.

JJ hesitated. “On the Club’s golf course. They were out drinking beers and hitting golf balls, and I was there.”

“Why were you there in the middle of the night?”

“Kie, it’s not a big deal. We had a fight, I held my own—hope you saw the other guys when their mommies came to pick them up—the cops came. No one is pressing charges or anything. I think the cops were just bored.”

“JJ!” She exclaimed, frustrated with his deflection. “Why were you there in the middle of the night? Why were you on Figure 8?”

His jaw worked in the moonlight, muscle clenching and releasing the same way his hands did as they flexed in and out of a fist. “My dad was in a bad mood, ok? My dad was in a bad mood and already drunk and I didn’t want to stay there and get the shit beaten out of me.”

Her hands shook so badly she couldn’t keep driving, so Kiara pulled the car over to the side of the road and threw on the brake. She turned to face him fully, knowing the anger she felt was clearly reflected on her face. “So you went to Figure 8, instead of the Chateau, instead of to Pope, instead of to me, still got the shit beat out of you and also got arrested? How does that make sense, JJ?”

He was mad too. Well too bad. He could be mad if he wanted, but she was the one who got woken up in the middle of the night to get him from jail, she was the one who was worried sick about him constantly. She was the one who texted Pope daily from the Kook academy, asking if he showed up, if he looked ok, if he’d eaten. She could also be mad.

“Hey.” JJ snapped. “I don’t need you mothering me. I didn’t want to be home, I didn’t want to bother you or Pope—”

“—yeah I’m clearly not bothered now--” She muttered.

“—and like I said, I’m not in trouble. I took a few punches. It happens all the time. It’s. Not. A. Big. Deal.”

And because it really seemed like he believed that—that his future, his well-being, his stupid pretty face being beaten black and blue, wasn’t a big deal—Kiara promptly burst into tears.

“whoa, hey.” JJ said, softer now.

She just leaned her forehead into the steering wheel, hands still gripping at 10 and 2 just like she’d been taught, and sobbed her heart out. Sobbed for John B who alive or dead was lost to them either way. Sobbed for Pope who said he loved her and then backed off gracefully when she told him she didn’t love the same way. Sobbed for JJ, who was so good and protective and deserved so much more than this stupid island could give him.

“Kie?” JJ’s voice was smaller than she’d ever heard.

“It is a big deal.” She insisted, eyes clenched against what felt like a never-ending flood of tears. “It’s a big deal to me.”

She felt him tug at her seatbelt until it came off, and then he slid an arm around her back and the other under her knees, and he pulled her over the center console until she was sitting sideways in his lap. Immediately, she buried her face in his neck and continued to cry—God, she couldn’t believe what a girl she was being—while he wrapped both arms around her and rocked her slowly.

“JJ.” And she paused, trying at least to stop the heaving sobs. “It’s a big deal to me, because you’re a big deal to me.”

She pulled her head up. His blue eyes were already fixed on hers, disbelieving and hopeful all at once. “I love you.” She told him, and laughed a little at herself because hey there it was; after years of keeping her feelings a secret, coming up with dumb group rules to prevent herself from acting on those feelings, it was suddenly all out in the open. Wiping her eyes, she continued, “I do, I love you so much, and it kills me when you rush into fights and get in trouble and get hurt and go home to your dad’s house. And you don’t have to love me back like that, but please, JJ, please don’t think this isn’t a big deal, that you aren’t a big deal. You are. To me, and to Pope, and I just. I just love you.”

The words hung there in the stillness between them for a moment, eyes locked. Kie found herself holding her breath, hoping against hope that maybe all of JJ’s flirtations were more than just him goofing off. As the silence dragged on, her hope flagged.

She turned her face back into his body to hide from his eyes. She didn’t regret what she said, not if it would help JJ feel like he mattered and that his life was worth care, but she couldn’t deal with the vulnerability—she felt stripped bare, there in his arms, and not in the way that she’d daydreamed about occasionally. Pressing her face into his collar bone, Kiara took a few deep breaths, feeling amazingly calm considering the last hour of her life.

“I’m good.” She breathed. “I’ll just…I’ll just drive you to the Chateau, ok? I think we both need some sleep.”

He didn’t release her. If anything, the hand on her head increased the pressure. It was possible she even felt his lips press into her hair. “Kie.” His voice was soft, almost choked up. “You have to know I love you too.”

“What?” she gasped, snapping her head to look at him.

“Of course I love you. I have for years. Always, no matter how annoying you are.”

She made a face at him. “You’re pretty annoying too.”

He grinned and her heart soared. “I know.” Then his smile faded, and he was back to intense-JJ, to self-sacrificing-put-everyone-else-first-JJ. “But you know you can do so much better than some kid from the Cut who doesn’t matter.”

Kiara grabbed his face between her palms. “I already told you—you do matter, to a lot of people and just in general, but especially to me. You better start acting like it. No more stupid fights.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He wasn’t making any promises—she knew that very well. “Can I kiss you now?”

Instead of saying yes, she just leaned forward until she could brush his bloodied lips with hers. Despite being careful not to put too much pressure on the painful spot, Kiara could feel the difference in this kiss. The kisses with John B and Pope were nice, even exciting in the way kisses with cute boys are, but this kiss. This was everything she’d ever wanted, and she couldn’t believe she’d had to wait this long to experience it. When they broke apart, they immediately gripped each other in a tight hug, unwilling to let space between them.

“I love you.” She whispered into the hair at the nape of his neck.

“You gonna stay the night?” He asked. She nodded, pressing her lips into the soft skin of his neck. “Ok, let’s go get some sleep.”

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. Feel free to submit prompts!

#jj maybank #jj x kie #jj x kiara #kiara carrera #outer banks #outer banks netflix #fanfiction #jiara

[softboywriting]

Hitched | Shawn Mendes

Summary: After a wild night in Vegas you and Shawn end up married according to the tabloids. Will these rumors change your dynamic and be the push the two of you need to finally admit your feelings for each other, or will it be the end of your relationship both professionally and personally? [personal assistant reader] [fake married] [accidentally married] [non au theme] 

Word Count: 8.5k 

|Masterlist In Bio|

Early morning sun blinds you through the windows of your hotel suite. Your head pounds, body feeling like it's been hit with a sack of bricks. Your mouth is dry like sandpaper as you reach for a bottle on the nightstand. There's a heavy weight across your stomach and you look down. An arm. A bulky thick arm with the tattoo of an orchid in a light bulb. Shawn.  

You push back the blankets to reveal the sleeping giant. He is sprawled out beside you on his stomach, arm across your waist, face pressed into the pillows. This wasn't the first time the two of you ended up in bed together, and it wouldn't be the last. At least he went home with you last night. As soon as the tequila shots had come out, you started to worry. Shawn and tequila don't mix well and he gets a little crazy.  

A pang of sickness washes over you and you need to get up. It's not like you to drink when Shawn drinks. It's sort of your job to keep him out of trouble and on task. But shit happens. At least he's with you, like you said. You did your job well enough. You push at his arm and instead of removing it, he curls it tighter around you, pressing on your stomach.

“Shawn, I have to get up. I feel sick.”

“Mmm.” He groans and rubs his face into his pillow. “No, stay with me.”

“Shawn. Now.”

“Stop talking.” He rolls over, toward you, and tugs you closer to him. “My head hurts.”

“You're hungover.”

“Probably.”

You run your hand over his hair and glitter falls out. You have no idea where that came from but it isn't what you're really focusing on. No. The ring on your finger is what catches your eye. It's Shawn's, his pinky ring, the rose gold one. Why were you wearing it on your wedding ring finger? Why were you wearing it at all? Oh no. A portion of the night comes flooding back to you. Brian had been joking with Shawn that since he lost his passport yesterday morning, he was illegal in the USA. Oh God Shawn no. You love Shawn, hell, you know him better than most at this point. It's hard not to fall in love with someone like him, but those feelings were counterproductive to your job and he could never know. Though you suppose he already does, the two of you couldn't deny looks and familiar touches. It was complicated.

“Shawn get up,” you push him off of you and he sits up quickly. “What happened last night?”

He holds his head and groans loudly. He'd had far more to drink than you did. “I don't remember.”

You put your hand out for him. “Did we get married?”

“What?!” Shawn grabs your hand and studies the ring on your finger. “No! Why would we do that?! I know we got smashed but fucking christ.”

“I don't know! Call Brian. Maybe he remembers?”

Shawn pats around under the pillows and produces his phone. “Fuck,” he turns the screen toward you and there's a bunch of missed calls and texts. You can't help but notice his background is the two of you backstage at the capital summertime ball last year. He picked you up on his shoulders to see the stage and Brian snapped a photo. He calls Andrew instead of Brian since the missed calls were all from him.

“Morning newlyweds,” Andrews voice crackles over the speakerphone between you and Shawn. “Hungover?”

“Andrew what happened last night?”

“You guys must have been seriously messed up. You wouldn't believe me if I told you.”

You sigh. “Andrew what happened?”

“Well Brian convinced Shawn that because we can't find his passport, he had to marry a US citizen to stay in the country. Which is ridiculous, because I just had to go get a temp until we can get back to Toronto and get a new one. Anyway, you and Shawn ditched everyone and went to get hitched in the basement chapel of the hotel by some Elvis impersonator who was on site for a gimmick wedding being hosted last night.”

“It's probably not even legal then. We didn't sign anything, it's just a ceremony right?”

“No, not technically, he was a justice of the peace though. Registered and everything. Brian and Zubin were your witnesses.” Andrew sighs and you roll your eyes. “Luckily it was just you four idiots and no one but us knows about this.”

Shawn holds his head. “Okay well, it's fine then.”

“Perfect. Thank Andrew.” You click to hang up and stare at Shawn. “You're so dumb y'know that?”

“Oh shut up. You obviously agreed to go along with it, so you're pretty dumb too.”

You shove him and he shoves you back, pinning you to the bed. “Shawn I swear to God if you-”

He leans down and gets close to your face. His breath ghosts over your cheek and jawline. He's going to threaten to lick you. Somehow he found out that spit grosses you out; the wet feeling, the knowing it came from someone else's mouth, all of it just squicks you out. He found out and now every chance he gets he uses it against you when he doesn't get his way or wants something. He was a damn man child sometimes. “Take it back or I'll do it.”

“Never.”

“Last chance.”

You close your eyes and wait for the worst. You'll never admit defeat. He was dumb, the whole marriage thing had to be his idea. How he convinced you in your drunken state to marry him you will never know. Obviously your brain had decided to put feelings for Shawn over work, rational thinking and common sense last night, but it's still definitely his fault.

He opens his mouth and you can feel his breath hotter than ever. You struggle against his hold and then go still when his mouth connects with your cheek. It's not spit, it's not his tongue. It's his lips, warm and soft against your skin.

“What're you doing?”

“What?”

You peek one eye open and look down at him. “Aren't you going to lick me?”

“Nah. You're my wife now.” He grins and kisses your cheek again. “I guess I gotta be sweet on you.”

“Oh shut up! I'm not actually your wife!” You shove him as he releases your arms and falls over laughing. “Get dressed chuckles. We have to be at the airport soon.”

____________________

“So are you taking my last name then?” Shawn asks with a smirk from the seat beside you. “Because I think it suits you.”

“I'm not talking to you anymore.”

“You have to! You're my assistant and my best friend.” He slides his hand over yours on the arm rest between the two of you. “Please talk to me?”

You let his fingers curl around yours as you close your eyes. He always held your hand when the plane was taking off. It's just how it was. You needed something real to hold on to until you were in the air and he was always that something. “What am I supposed to say?”

“Just answer my question. Are you taking my last name?”

“Why does it matter? We're not actually married so who cares?”

“I care.”

You cut him and glare and he isn't even smiling like he was joking. “Why?”

“I just do. Hypothetically, would you take my name?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

Shawn looks satisfied with himself. You have no idea why that mattered. It wasn't like you were actually married. Well you were officiated but, y'know, whatever.

____________________

All hell breaks loose when you and Shawn walk into the central concourse of the airport you've landed at. The screams are deafening and louder than you've ever heard before. Jake tries to keep a minimum distance as you and Shawn make your way to the front doors with Andrew and the rest of the crew in tow.

“What is going on?!” You yell and Shawn falls back to put his arm around you and lean down to hear you. “I said what's going on?”

“No clue. People must be just extra excited to see me today.”

“Shawn! Shawn! Is it true?! Have you been in a secret relationship with your assistant for years?!”

Shawn looks over to the well dressed woman who's running alongside the group. She's asking all sorts of questions about you and Shawn. Obviously a reporter.

“Keep going!” Andrew yells over the crowd and comes up close behind you. “Don't answer any questions! Me and Brian will take your bags, just go!”

Shawn passes his suitcase to Brian and you give yours to Andrew. Shawn's hand finds yours and it's sweaty as he pulls you closer to Jake. He's nervous, anxious as his eyes start darting around to what you can only assume to be over a hundred people in the concourse. The two of you were used to crowds, it came with the job, but this was a swarm.

Jake pulls the two of you into a security office with help from some of the local airport security personnel. One moment you're in deafening loudness and the next it's muffled silence. Your ears are ringing and you feel like you've just survived an apocalypse. Shawn's hand is gripping yours so tight his knuckles are white and he's shaking.

“Shawn, hey,” you say softly and he looks down at you.

“Pull the blinds please,” Jake instructs to an officer by the door. She turns and pulls the blinds on the two floor to ceiling windows looking out to the hoard.  

You sit Shawn down in a rolling chair behind a desk covered in paperwork. “Hey, look at me bud.”

The two officers and Jake move to the farthest corner from the two of you and talk among each other about how to clear up the situation outside the door.

Shawn looks at you and you run your hand over his hair. “Sorry, I just got overwhelmed.”

“It's cool. You know you just have to tell me and we'll fix it.”

“That woman knew. She knew about us.”

Us. As if there was really something going on between the two of you.

“She doesn't know anything. People have speculated for years about us. She probably just saw us talking when we got through the gate.” You scratch his scalp gently as he leans his forehead against your stomach. “Relax, deep breaths. Wanna do a vocal warm up to let it out?”

“No, it's fine. I just want to get to the hotel as soon as possible.”

“Jake,” you look over and he looks at you. “What's the plan to get out of here?”

“Security is going to escort us out. They've got more people coming down here to help. Just a few minutes. I've let Andrew know we're alright.”

“Thank you.”

Shawn stands up and pulls you into a hug. He presses his nose into the top of your hair and sighs. “Sorry I keep making today so stressful for you.”

“No, Shawn, it's not your fault.” You rub up his back and down again. “Things happen. We'll be okay. We always are.”

_____________________

Turns out the news has broken and the world knows that you and Shawn allegedly got married. TMZ was first to announce so you're sure that the Elvis impersonator spilled his guts for a couple hundred dollars. That son of a bitch. As if Shawn wasn't already having a hell of a time with stress on tour, this had to happen.

You don't even want to go out of the hotel now. The comments on every social media platform are enough to make you want to peel your skin off. There's two types of people it seems. Ones that think you're amazing and ones that hate your guts. For the most part it's people hating you.

“We're going to get dinner, are you coming?” Shawn asks, poking his head into your room.

“I'm gonna stay in. I don't want to go out.”

“Is it because of the gossip?”

“Yeah. I'm tired of being called ugly, fat and worthless. Why give people more fodder to keep the fire burning?”

Shawn steps in and closes the door behind him. “Why are you reading that crap?”

“I can't avoid it. Everywhere I go it's all people are talking about.” You flip through your Twitter feed and hold it up for Shawn. “Oh this is my favorite, gold digging whore.”

Shawn stalks across the room and snatches the phone from your hand. He throws it into your suitcase and squats down in front of you. “They're jealous. Angry jealous people who have no idea who you are.” He takes your hands and kisses over your knuckles. “They have no idea how beautiful and smart and funny you are.”

“Shawn...you're just saying that.”

“I'm not.” He looks at you over your hands. “I'm honored to call you my wife, real or fake, it's an honor. Any man who marries you is lucky.”

Tears sting the corners of your eyes and you look down, lip trembling.

“Let's stay in. We can rent a movie on the TV and order something to be delivered.”

“No, you go with the guys.” You pull one hand out of his and wipe your wet cheeks. “I'm fine.”

“I won't go.” He stands and crawls on to the bed, sitting behind you and dragging you between his legs. “I'd rather spend my night with you then watch Brian try to pick up the bartender for three hours straight.”

"Can we get Chinese?"

"Of course." Shawn pulls his phone out and scrolls through Google to find a local place to deliver. "You want your usual?"

"Yeah. Extra dumplings if they have them."

He brings the phone up to his ear and smiles. "Anything you want."

____________________

Two days later. Heading to the venue where Shawn is playing isn't usually a stressful thing. You've done it countless times. But you've never done it with everyone thinking you're his wife. The back of the transit van is silent, uncomfortably so. Shawn is on his phone, Andrew and Brian are staring out the windows and Connor is messing with something on his camera.

You hold your bag tight against your lap and sigh. Shawn opens his his legs and bumps your thigh. You look up and he's smiling. “What are you doing?”

“Can you hand me my notebook?”

“Yeah sure.” You dig around in your little black backpack and produce his tattered leather bound journal. It's his writing notebook and if anyone besides you ever had it he would probably explode. “Got an idea?”

“Yeah, just something that's stuck in my head.” He takes it and slides the little pen out from the side and starts writing. He looks so focused as he scribbles away, striking things out and looking annoyed. His brain never stopped.

“Hey.”

You look away from Shawn to Connor who is across from the two of you and has his camera up right. “Yeah? Need something?”

“No, nevermind.”

“We're here,” Andrew says as the van comes to a halt.

Shawn closes the notebook and hands it over. “Are you nervous?”

“Are you?”

“Yeah but I have you, so it'll be okay.” He grabs your hand and squeezes. “Everyone ready?”

Everyone mumbles in unison and Jake pulls open the side door to the sound of fans yelling beyond the barriers a few yards away. No questions. No photos. Just straight into the venue.

The second you're inside the venue there are coordinators ushering you to the question and answer area that's set up in a meeting room. Usually sound check would come first but you had arrived a little later than planned due to traffic and now everything was off schedule.

Shawn goes out and the fans in the q&a scream and greet him. You take a seat behind curtain that is put up as a backdrop in the front area where Shawn sits. You open up your laptop and start working on the checklist for the show tonight while also looking up local gyms for Shawn while he's in town.

Twenty minutes pass and you hear Shawn say your name. You pull out your headphones and listen to what he's saying, wondering what the question was. He just wants a bottle of water and you grab one off a cart nearby.

You don't think anything of it when you walk out in front of everyone to hand him his water. You've done it a hundred times. You don't realize that you've really messed up until the fans are awwing and suddenly asking questions over each other.

“Did you guys get married for real?”

“How long have you been together?”

“Are you really his assistant?”  

Shawn sighs and you can see Jake who is off to the side next to you just shake his head. “I'm sorry, I didn't even think about it when I asked for water.”

“It's fine. Just act like everything is normal.” You grab his empty bottle and he pops open the top of the new one. “And don't answer any questions about me.”

“I promise I won't.”

You turn and walk away, giving a little wave to the fans as you go around the back again to take your place at your laptop on an amp box.

____________________

The next night you, Shawn and a couple of the guys go out to a bar near the hotel. It's a really upscale place, private too. It's nice being able to relax and just let loose the stress from the last few days and not have anyone recognize you for a few hours.

Drinks are flowing, music is playing, you are dancing with a couple people. It feels good. Someone's hands find your waist from behind and they pull you against their solid warm body. You stiffen up, not comfortable with the sudden contact.

“You smell really good.” Shawn murmurs against your hair. “Like really good.”

You relax, trusting him and no longer worrying about it being some stranger making a move. “I just washed my hair with my usual stuff.” You turn in his hold to face him and he drops his forehead against yours. His eyes are focused on you, a little glassy from alcohol and you wonder how many drinks he's had.

“You are so beautiful.” He smiles and closes his eyes. “You just...wow.”

“Shawn, you've had way too much.” You reach up and play with the curls at the back of his neck. You've had a few yourself. “I thought you weren't going to drink much because your next show is in three days.”

“I'll be fine.”

“It's not like you.”

“I just wanted to relax.” He leads you over to a lounge area with some couches and falls back on his ass, pulling you down on top of him.

You sit on his lap and he smiles at you like a cat who caught a canary. “What are you grinning about?”

“You.” He runs his hand up your back and you loop your arm around the back of his neck. “I wanna kiss you.” He leans up so he's face to face with you. “I want to kiss you all over.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to kiss my wife.” He grins.

You roll your eyes. “I'm not your wife doofus.”

He leans in closer and bumps his nose with yours, breath ghosting over your lips. You're too drunk to handle this right now. Everything in you wants him and it's so hard to say no. You've kissed before but it wasn't like this, well, it was. You were drunk then too but it wasn't in public and with speculation of being married hanging in the air.

“This is a bad idea,” you whisper, eyes going to his pink lips and he shakes his head slightly. “Yes it is.”

“Stop talking.” He leans in and kisses you, hands going to your hair as he licks into your mouth. You take a deep breath and re-position yourself so you're straddling his thighs. He drops one hand to your waist and you feel like you just can't get enough. You can't seem to break away from him as he kisses you better than anyone you've ever been with. You know the two of you will end up going back to the hotel together, there was absolutely no doubt about that at this point. It's just a matter of how far this was going to go.

____________________

The next morning you wake up and it's like deja vu. Shawn's arm is across your stomach and your head hurts. Only this time you remember the night before. You remember walking with Shawn back to the hotel and making out in the elevator. Fumbling with his key card to get his room open. And then watching him literally collapse on the bed and pass out. You knew he'd had way too much.

“Morning,” you says softly, running your hand through his hair. He rubs his face into his pillow and groans at the morning light. “Hungover?”

“Very. My head is throbbing.”

“Let me help.” You sit up and guide him to lay his head on a pillow you pull over onto your lap. You massage your fingers into his temples and he groans softly.

“You're the best.”

“Mmhmm.” You massage over his eyes and cheeks and he just let's his jaw go slack. He's so soft like this, trusting in you completely. The last few days have been a wild ride and gone farther than your professional relationship with him should go. It's like since finding out you got hitched by the Elvis impersonator, all inhibitions were gone. The line between coworker and relationship was getting blurrier by the second and you have to redraw it before it is too late.

“You're a really good kisser.” Shawn mumbles, smiling to himself.

“So you remember some of last night?”

“Mmm yeah.” He opens his eyes and you stop rubbing his temples. “You can't deny that there's something more between us.”

“I can't, but there shouldn't be.” You return to rubbing and go down around the back of his neck eliciting a soft moan from him. “I'm your assistant first and foremost. We need to remember that.”

“Yeah.” He says softly, closing his eyes again. You know he isn't going to cave that easily. It's not like him to drop a subject just like that but you know he doesn't want to argue or anything with his head killing him. And that's just fine.

____________________

Shawn wraps his arms around you from behind and walks with his head on your shoulder. "What're you going to get?"

"I don't know, we came for you to get stuff."

"Yeah, but...I know you want something."

The two of you round the corner to the health care isle in the little 24 hour convenience store. The two of you had come down for snacks after Shawn said he needed some jerky and a Snickers. The funny thing is that those two things were your usual period cravings, and you happen to be on your period.

"Shawn, did you want to come here because of me?"

"What do you mean?" He pulls away and grabs a box of Tylenol off the shelf to toss into the bag you're carrying.

"Come on. Snickers and jerky? That's my craving snack."

Shawn grins sheepishly and rubs the back of his neck. "Am I that obvious?"

You roll your eyes. "You're transparent."

He walks over and puts his arm around your shoulders. "I just wanted to help. I saw you were having bad cramps earlier during rehearsal."

"Is that why you brought me tea from the catering cart?"

"Yeah."

You lean your head on his chest. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He kisses your head. "Lets get those snacks and head back."

____________________

“You're still wearing the ring,” Shawn says, pointing to your hand curled around the clipboard you're holding. The second show this week is about to start and he's getting his in ears put in.

“So?”

“So? Why didn't you take it off? It's been like five days.”

You shrug and touch the little rose gold band. “It's pretty. I guess I didn't notice.” You point at his hand and he has one of his gold bands around his ring finger still too. “What's your excuse?”

Shawn shrugs. “I guess I didn't notice.”

You narrow your eyes at him and he grins. “Maybe you want to be married to me.”

“Maybe you do too.”

“In your dreams.”

“I've had a lot of dreams come true y'know.” Shawn laughs and goes to the side stage to get ready to go on. You follow him over and touch his arm gently. “Hmm?”

“I forgot to tell you to have a good show.”

He leans over and kisses your cheek, making your heart race. “Always do.”

“Pinkies for luck?”

Shawn hooks his pinky with yours and the rings click together, making him grin. You pull away and run your hand over his hair to fluff it up as the band starts playing his intro. He keeps smiling at you and walks out on to stage, bringing his mic up to greet everyone in the arena. You twist the ring around on your finger and it sends an ache through your chest. Why hadn't you taken it off?

____________________

The show is going great and you are beaming at him the whole time. He keeps doing this thing where he looks over at you and you try to keep out of view so people don't know what he's looking at. Connor asks if you'll follow him during Bad Reputation because he doesn't want to hit anything while he watches the camera screen. You've done it several times and you know all you have to do is literally walk behind him and tell him if he's going to hit an amp or something.

Zubin and Shawn are going to town on the guitar when it happens. You're following Connor but he's walking too quick, your eyes are on Shawn as he does a little grabby hand wave at you and you trip on a set of cables sticking out off the light box at the base of the stage. You go sprawling, scraping your knees on the hard concrete floor of the arena.

“Fucking shit!” you yell as you turn over and dust yourself off. Your jeans are torn in the knees and there's blood starting to stain on the left one.

Suddenly Shawn is by your side, guitar on his back as he kneels down beside you. “Are you okay? I saw you go down behind Connor.”

“What're you doing!? Get back up there!”

“It's fine Zubin is doing his thing.” Shawn puts an arm behind your back and the other under knees, lifting you up bridal style. “Ah shit your knee is bleeding.”

“Put me down. I'm fine.”

“No you're not! Look at your knee!”

You glance down and yeah your jeans were pretty much destroyed by the big bloody patch. It was starting to ache too, a dull throb right over your knee cap. “You're really not helping with the rumors right now y'know.”

“I really don't care.” Shawn places you gently on an equipment box backstage as Jake and one of the stage hands come over with a first aid kit.

“I'll be fine. Go back out there.” He starts to protest and you grab his face and force him to look at you. “Leave me and go do the show.”

Shawn leans in and kisses your lips quickly before turning and running back out on stage. Your heart stops and you are left in a stunned state, just gawking off at the stage. Did he really just kiss you? What the hell? He...you weren't...fuck.

“Hey, hello!” The stage hand, Nick, waves his hand in your face. “I can't clean it with your jeans on. Can we go to the catering room or something and have you take them off?”

“Yeah....yeah sure.” You bring your focus back to your knee and as you try to stand up on it, you wobble. Nick supports you as you head for the inner concourse and Jake stays behind.

“I'll tell him where you are when he gets done, don't worry,” Jake says with a smile. You know he seen the kiss, hell, anyone in the vicinity saw it. Shawn was not making this easy.  

As soon as the show ends Shawn is in the catering room with you. He's pretty sweaty when he comes in but you don't really care because he's got eyes for no one but you. He kneels down beside you and cradles your knee in his big hands, fingers ghosting over the gauze wrapped skin.

“You had to cut your jeans?” He asks, sliding his hand over your thigh where your jeans are cut off just over the wound.

“Yeah. I couldn't get my jeans off and they were already ruined.”

“Let me carry you to the car.”

“Shawn I can walk. It's not that bad now.”

He gives you a hard look. “You're hurt.”

“It's just a scraped knee.”

“Please, let me carry you. You're my w- it's my fault. If you hadn't been watching me wave at you, you wouldn't have tripped.”

You sigh, defeated. “I'm not going to change your mind am I?”

“Nope.” Shawn gets up and picks you up bridal style again, holding you close to his chest. You can smell his shampoo from his damp hair, curls falling in his face. “Let's go, I'll have one of the guys bring my stuff.”

“I need my bag.”

Shawn leans down and you grab your backpack off the couch you were sitting on. With that he carries you alongside Jake as he heads for the cars out back.

The second you get to the doors you see a bunch of fans waiting around to hopefully get a picture with Shawn beyond the security fence. The fans start screaming as soon as he walks out in the open carrying you toward the car. They’re waving and calling out both of your names as camera flashes go off.

“You can go ahead and take pictures.” You say to Shawn and he shakes his head. “Seriously, just drop me off in the car. I'll wait.”

“No. I want to go back to the hotel and shower and relax with you. Besides they've got their pictures.” He grins.

“Shawn.” You touch his cheek and he leans into your hand. “Please. I know you want to go say hi.”

“I do, but I really want to relax too.” Jake opens the door for Shawn and he lowers you to your feet and helps you into the car. “And relaxing comes first today.”

____________________

“Hey, are you feeling up to going out?”

You raise your eyebrows and he smiles sheepishly, knowing that you're not supposed to be seen together alone until the whole marriage thing blows over, but you're still his friend and assistant and honestly that concept of hiding it had gone out the window days ago. “Like...where?”

“Ed's in town. He texted me and asked if I want to hang out and see the show tonight.”

“Sure. Anyone else going?”

“I think Brian is gonna go.”

“What time?”

“Around seven.”

“I'll see you then.”

The concert is loud as hell, just like Shawn's are. You're stood in a private section with a few other people from Ed's crew and it's just you and Shawn. Brian didn't ever show up, and honestly you think Shawn didn't actually invite him.

Nearly forty minutes pass and Ed ends castle on the hill and starts up the chords to Perfect, his final song on the set list. Shawn wraps his arms around you from behind and you look up at him.

“I found a love, for me...” Shawn sings along softly with Ed.

“You planned this didn't you?”

“Planned what?”

“Being here together and without Brian. This is a date, isn't it?”

Shawn rolls his eyes. “A date? Really? We're just seeing Ed.”

“A concert can be a date y'know.”

“Shh.” Shawn lays his chin on your head and starts humming along to the song. The arena is dark and everyone has their phones out, swaying along to the song. It's beautiful. “Dancing in the dark, with you between my arms.” He sings softly against your head and you hold onto his arms now wrapped around your shoulders.

You take his hand and he turns you around, stepping back and grinning at you. He keeps singing as he slow dances with you, swinging you out and bringing you close in time with the music. “You're ridiculous,” you laugh and he just holds you against him.

“You love it,” he says quietly, turning you around once more and pulls you back against his chest. “And you look perfect...tonight.”

The song comes to an end and you hold Shawn's hands in yours. He kisses the side of your head and you're absolutely gone for him. He's knows it. You know it. The whole damn world probably knows it by now. ____________________

“Where's my notebook?”

“In the suitcase.” You point to his bulky black bag. “Outer pocket.”

Shawn digs into the bag and brings it out, taking a seat on the edge of the bed and writing furiously. You learned ages ago not to bother asking what was in that little journal. You know usually it's lyrics or little bits or inspiration. You never read it, no matter how many times he has you carry it in your bag, you never ever open that book.

“We've got to get going Shawn. Can you write in the car?”

“No.”

You drag his bag off the bed and over to the door. Yours is already there waiting, you had brought it over to save you from grabbing it later after helping Shawn get everything together.

“The plane won't wait.”

Shawn looks up and rolls his eyes. “Just a moment.”

“Alright.” You lean against the door and close your eyes. You're exhausted, the concert with Ed had ended up going until around nine and then visiting lasted until well after midnight. Every time Shawn and Ed got together it was like a recording session. The two were definitely of the same bunch. Now you had a six hour flight to get on back to Toronto.

“I’m ready.” Shawn whispers in your ear and your eyes fly open and you jump, making him laugh. “Let's go home.”

You swat at his chest and he grabs his bag handle. “You're such a turd.”

“I just like teasing you. Come on.”

The two of you head down to the lobby to meet Andrew and Brian and the rest of the crew. “So, what're you writing in that book?”

“Curious?”

“Well yeah, that's why I'm asking. I know usually you don't tell anyone. You've just seemed very engrossed in it lately.”

“I've been writing lyrics. I want to meet up with Teddy and see if we can't get something together. I've just...got this feeling and I want to put it into words.”

You round the corner to the lobby and Andrew looks up from his phone. “About time you two.”

“Leave the love birds alone, don't you know, they're newlyweds.” Brian teases, dragging his suitcase around behind the two of you toward the doors.

“Fuck off Brian!” Shawn yells and you elbow him for yelling in the lobby.

The rest of the trip home goes smoothly, you sleep on the plane with Shawn leaning against you and it's possibly the best sleep you've had in a few days. Landing back in Toronto is a bit annoying, as fans have come to meet you and Shawn at the airport like usual. Only now they're rowdier than ever due to the news about your alleged marriage.

"Don't pay attention to any of it." Shawn says, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and staring down at your phone. You've just arrived at his apartment and you'll be leaving tomorrow to go to your own place in New York. "We'll just lay low and then in a few weeks it'll all be over."

"Yeah I guess. How exactly do we convince fans we aren't hitched?"

"Probably should take off the rings."

You pocket your phone and hold your hand out in front of you. Honestly you've grown accustomed to the little ring on your finger. It fits so comfortably.

“Maybe being married isn't such a bad thing.”

You look up from your hand to where Shawn is now across the bedroom lying on the bed on his stomach. “What?”

“I mean, aren't we already kind of married?”

“No?”

“Think about it. You know more about me than anyone. You can read me like an open book. We're always together, I trust you more than anyone and we definitely have chemistry. We have such a connection, it's insane. Maybe it's not such a bad idea.”

You close your eyes and sigh softly. “You cannot be serious. We can't be married. We just can't. I'm your assistant, not your wife.”

“Technically you're both right now.”

“Shawn. It wasn't a legal binding ceremony.”

He gets up and walks over to you, taking your hands in his. “Come on. You'd get so many benefits as my wife. You could come to awards shows with me, walk red carpets, be on my health care plan. I can also avoid the “when are you going to have a girlfriend?” conversations. I really don't see any downsides.”

“Really? No downsides? What about dating? What about falling in love and wanting to marry someone for real? I can do pretty much all that other stuff as your assistant if you want me to. None of it has to do with me being your wife or not. And why don't you have a girlfriend? You're like the most eligible bachelor in history. Rich, gorgeous, young and talented. What's the deal?”

“You know why I don't. Besides I don't want to marry someone else.”

“What? Are you kidding me? Why the hell would you want to marry me in the first place? And on that note, no, I don't know why you don't have a girlfriend, besides being on tour and stuff.”

“You really don't get it do you?”

“For the love of God, why can't you stop talking in riddles for like five minutes?”

“It’s because I'm in love with you.”

Your heart stops. He doesn't mean it like that. He can't. He isn't allowed to. No. He can't. You didn't want to hear those actual words, it made it all too real.

“Shawn, I think you really need to think about that. You can't just say that lightly.”

“I have thought about it.” He walks you over to the couch just past the doorway into the living room. “It's all I think about all the time. I've wanted to tell you for the last three years but how do you tell your assistant that sort of thing? And I wanted to be sure you felt the same, or you at least had an interest in me. You're hard to read though. I could never figure out what you were thinking until this last year, hell, the last few weeks when I realized you've been holding back.”

“Shawn... I-I don't know.”

He takes your hand and threads his fingers between yours. “Don't hold back. Do you want to be with me?”

“I mean, yeah, of course. More than anything Shawn, but...we can't.”

“We can. We absolutely can.”

"But my job and the fans...it's a lot to handle."

"And yet we've been doing it for the last week basically."

“I...I should go.” You pull your hand away and stand. You grab your bag and head for the door. There isn't really anywhere to go besides your place. The second you get out the front doors you call a cab. It wasn't as if you didn't feel the same way about him, because you did. It's just...it would never work. If you mixed your job with your relationship it could end badly. That's what you've been telling yourself anyway. There's a line, a very clear line, and you can't bring yourself to cross it...though you've definitely been bending over it a bit. Well, maybe a lot.

____________________

The sun is just starting to set as you take your seat on a plane flying to New York. You're alone, carry-on bag in the compartment over your seat. You called and talked to Andrew about what happened. He was fine with it, in fact he'd rather Shawn be with you then deal with bringing a whole new person into the picture, but you still don't think it's for the best. Four years, four long amazing years and just like that you find yourself out of a job and heading back to your hometown.

You didn't say goodbye to Shawn. You couldn't. The next time you see him will be...well, no, you don't know when that might be. You lean your head back and fight the tears welling up in the corners of your eyes. You want to stay, you do, but you can't hurt Shawn if things go bad or just don't work out. The stress and tension that would put on your professional relationship would be too much. You won't break his heart, you just won't.

You put on your headphones, lean your head back and put on a sleep mask. If you just tuned it out you would be fine. Minutes pass and you feel the plane start to move, taxiing to the runway for take off. You feel your nerves getting the best of you, hand curled around the end of the arm rest. You never flew alone, you always flew with Shawn.

A hand covers yours and you jump, jerking away. You pull your sleep mask off to see who the hell thought it was okay to touch you. Your heart drops when you see Shawn in the seat beside you.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asks, irritation evident in his voice.  

“I'm going home.”

“You're running away.”

“I'm not. It's for the best.”

“The best for who?.”

You look away and clench your jaw. “You don't get it Shawn.”

He reaches over and turns your head to look at him. “No, you don't get it. You are running away because you're scared. You're scared to admit that we have something special because you're afraid it won't work out. But let me tell you what, you've seen me at my worst and my best and I've seen you in both lights as well. I think you know just as well as I do that we're meant to be together.”

“But what if it doesn't work out?”

“And what if it does? You can't try and take the safe route every time. There is nothing about our relationship that says it won't work. Please, do you know how hard it was to be told that you quit all of a sudden? That after spending a good part of four years together, you were just going to walk out of my life? Do you know how bad that hurt?”

“I just thought it'd be easier. I didn't want to hurt you.”

Shawn pushes up the arm rest and scoots closer to you. “Nothing is going to be easy. It never is.” He grabs your hand and threads his fingers between yours. “Please don't leave. You're my best friend. You don't want to hurt me but this, leaving, is going to kill me.”

“How'd you find me?"

"You always fly Delta when you go home. I just checked for a flight to New York and got a ticket. It doesn't matter."

You sigh and lean your head on his shoulder. "You really want to do this?"

"Yes. And we don't have to be married, we can just date. I just want you in my life, please."

"I want you in mine too." You hold his face and he tilts your head up to kiss you gently. "I suppose we're just a little backwards on all this, getting married and then dating."

"I guess this is where we start then."

You smile and he kisses you again, and again and again.

_____________________

Three months later

"Babe, did you get the email from Teddy about the song?" Shawn asks as he pulls on a suit jacket.

You glance over at his stylist who's holding up two shirts to the jacket. Shawn is standing there with his arms out like a dork while she works her magic. "I haven't gotten any emails from her. I have one from Connor though?"

"What's Connor sent? It must be a big file if he can't text it."

"Let me open it." You click the link and it opens a video in the media player on your laptop. The playback opens with you sitting on Shawn's shoulders at capital summertime ball, the moment Shawn had on his lock screen photo. From there it cuts to you and Shawn backstage playing slaps before a show and him squealing every time you faked him out. Then it's the two of you sharing a strawberry shake from McDonald's. You remember that day, he said he didn't want anything and ended up stealing half of your order.  

"What is it?" Shawn asks, sliding off the suit jacket and walking over to lean on the back of the couch.

On the screen you and Shawn pose like goofballs in his new merch for the tour. The two of you sleeping on a couch backstage at some event. Shawn putting his jacket over your shoulders during a late night video shoot. Then there is recently, the two of you in the back of the car when he asked for his notebook. You can see that Shawn is stealing glances as he writes, something you hadn't noticed at the time. There's footage of Shawn at the concert jumping off stage to pick you up after you tripped. And finally, the last little bit is when the two of you were boarding the plane home and you grab Shawn's hand as you walk through the boarding tunnel.

"Wow..." You laugh softly, covering your mouth. "We're so transparent."

"Connor...he really did that." Shawn leans over and kisses your cheek. "I guess everyone knew we were together before we did."

"Yeah. Obviously."

"I'm going to have Teddy send you a copy of the new song." He turns back to his stylist and she holds out his shirt she's chosen. "I want you to listen to it tonight and tell me what you think."

"This is the song you've been keeping top secret for the last month?"

He grins sheepishly. "Yes, I promise it's worth it."

"Your songs are always worth it. I'm pretty sure you've never written a bad song."

"You're so sweet."

"Only to you."

_____________________

Shawn goes out to sit at some awards show and you stay behind in the green room. You've had enough with award shows in the last few years. They're usually too loud and full of cringey dialogue. You put in your head phones and press play on the file that Teddy sent to you. She didn't send any explanation other than a little winking smiley face and honestly you're suspicious. Shawn has never kept a song from you before.

"Put my heart on the line so many times, but when I'm with you I know I'll be fine. I'm falling, falling in love with you. Can't stop this feeling I know it's true."

Your eyes go wide as you realize this song is definitely about you. "Oh my God. Shawn..." You laugh to yourself as you begin to tear up. It's catchy and touching and...how dare he.

You finish the song and go to find him out in the crowded ballroom. You make your way through the room full of people and find his spot empty near the front next to Ed and his wife.

"Where is Shawn?" You ask Ed and he points toward the doors you came through saying he got up a few minutes ago.

You turn and double back to see if he's in the bathroom but there is absolutely no one in the halls.

"Honey, what're you doing?" Shawn laughs, and you turn to see him walking out of the green room. "I thought you wanted to chill in the back, I came to see how you were doing."

You walk up to him and he puts his arms around you. "You wrote a song about me."

"Yes I did."

"Everyone is going to know."

Shawn grins and runs his hand up your back. "Yes they will."

"A song!"

"Yes. You inspire me, I couldn't not write something about how I've felt for ages. Teddy helped me make it into something amazing. I'm really excited to release it."

You lay your hand on his cheek and he leans into it. "You're lucky I love you."

He kisses you softly and smiles. "What're you doing later?"

"Going to the after party with you?"

"Yeah, well I heard there's a wedding going on here tomorrow. Maybe the officiator will be around."

"Shawn."

"Maybe I should make you a legal Canadian citizen this time around." He grins and you narrow your eyes at him. "What do you think?"

"I think you're soft."

He slides his hand into yours and brings it up to kiss your joined hands. "It's been almost three and a half months and you haven't taken off my ring."

You flush and look away. "Yeah well...it's nice."

"Mmhmm."

"Okay, yeah...I want to be more than your girlfriend." You smile and look up at him. "I've wanted it for ages, but isn't it a little fast?"

"I don't think building up to this for three years is fast."

"You're right...I've just been thinking about it as the last few months but it has been years hasn't it?" You chuckle and shake your head. "Are you proposing to me then?"

"Yes." He drops down on one knee and reaches into his jacket pocket. "Will you be my wife, my assistant and my best friend?"

"You...have a ring on you?"

"Yeah I...I got it a while back." He looks at the ring and up at you. "I've just been carrying it around and waiting for the right moment to give it to you."

"You're such a sap."

"Yeah but, you already knew that. So, tell me, will you be my everything?"

You slide off Shawn's ring and pick up the ring from its box and slide it over your ring finger. "Yes. Yes I will."

Shawn stands and cups your face, kissing you softly. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The end.

__________________

Thank you so much for reading! Please reblog if you read and if you enjoyed it. 

Shout out to @shawnm521 for help and inspiration with this one, you are seriously the ultimate muse and I couldn’t be more grateful. 

Please let me know what you think, what your favorite parts are and more via ask, reblog, reply or message. Thank you again!

-A

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[amour-salvatore]

all is fair in love and war

Part 1

“Who’s playing?” You ask your brother sitting down next to him in the living room with a popcorn bowl in your hands.

“Tottenham against Liverpool.” He answers his eyes glued to the tv. Your brother, Jake has been obsessed with football since he was a kid. His school friends and himself would play hours and hours outside, probably like most of the boys his age but now he’s 23 and nothing has changed.

You watch along for a while, as his favourite team Tottenham scores, and finally wins the game. “I fucking love this club.” He shouts taking his phone and scrolling through his feed while laying on the couch, his dark hair falling around his face.

After the game, he gets up calling his friends, like every time Tottenham wins. He calls them over, they drink, are loud not letting you sleep and then leave at 2 am.

2 hours later and the living room is full of people, you’re sitting in the middle of them, contemplating whether you should just leave or stay a little longer. But it’s when your brothers best friend finally arrives that the party really starts going.

It’s Dele Alli.

Yep.

He enters the room and all attention goes to him making, you roll your eyes. That will just boosts his ego even more. By looking at him you would never have guessed that he just played 90 minutes of football, wearing casual clothes again which are grey jeans with a dark jacket. Greeting everyone, he takes a seat next to you making you move your legs away. There is plenty of room on the couch but he decides to sit next to you. That’s so typical. Dele gives you a side glance, leaning in to take some popcorn from your bowl. “Is that a new perfume?” He raises his eyebrows, eating the popcorn, resting his hand behind your shoulders on the couch.

Here’s the thing with Dele, he’s constantly picking on you, some might even say flirt but since you’re the sister of his best friend, he knows that you’re something he can never have, something that’s unreachable for him. However, you've known each other for way too long to feel like this towards him. Of course, he's handsome and maybe when you were younger, you had a tiny crush, like all your friends who came ’revising’ at your house just to see your brother and his friends, especially Dele. But not anymore, you’re not a child.

It is a new perfume, creep, you think to yourself. “I’m not gonna ask why you know that.“ your head turning back to the tv.

“Did you watch the game?” Dele asks sitting way too close to you for your own comfort.

You scooted an inch away, ”A little but then I got bored.” you try your hardest to push back a smile, looking at his face. I mean he's used to you teasing him but his face is hilarious, every time.

After a few hours, everyone has left or passed out on the couch. The only one’s awake are you and Dele. And you’re still watching the movie, way too into it to realize Dele’s side glances.

“Why don't they kiss already?” You murmur frustrated, your eyes glued to the tv. You feel Dele's eyes on you lingering on your lips, thinking nothing of it.

Just as the words left your mouth, you watch the two actors finally kiss making you lean back onto the couch. “Fucking finally.” You mumble.

Continuing the movie, you feel tears building up when the couple declares their love for each other.

“You serious?” You turn your head to the voice. “Are you really crying?” Dele looks at you with an amusing face. 

“No. Shut up.” You glare at him which only makes Dele grin wider

“That boy doesn’t know how to charm a girl, I would have her wrapped around my fingers after the first date,” Dele says cockily, his eyes fixed on the tv when you give him a side glance.

“That’s because you go out with barbies who fall for your dumb pickup lines.”

“The barbies seem to like it.” He shrugs, taking some popcorn again and throwing it in his mouth.

You roll your eyes. “That’s not love, Dele.”

“Have you ever been in love?” He asks you, his voice serious all of a sudden.

“No.” You answer, which is the truth. Never have you felt the love that books would tell about, the unconditional love you could feel for someone.

“Well then who are you to talk?” He raises his eyebrow. 

“I still know more about love than you do.” You meet his gaze. “You’re easy Dele, a girl just has to smile your way and you’re head over heels.” 

He doesn’t answer immediately as you expected. “Wanna bet?” a small smile playing on his lips. “I could have you wrapped around my fingers within a month.”

You chuckle to yourself. Never in a million years, would you fall for him. Sometimes you even ask yourself, if you're capable of loving someone besides your family, as dumb as it sounds but nowadays boys are cruel. Not to mention the fact that your brother would kill you both if he found out, regardless the idea does sound appealing to beat Dele at his own game.

“And what’s the prize?” You ask ready to play along.

“What do you want besides my heart, you’re so sure you’re going to win?”  He lays his arm behind you on the couch again, not leaving your gaze.

You think for a moment. Dele watches you intensively as your eyes go wide, having found the perfect item. “I want your necklace.” He looks at you confused. “The one with the two pray hands on it.” For a second he studies your face with no emotions on it. “Okay, Deal.”

“If I win, I want you to get a tattoo of my choice.” he reaches over and grabbed a piece of your hair, sliding his fingers down till the end.

“What?” you ask startled. Dele would choose something awful, you knew it, not to mention it would be your first one.

“Why so scared all of a sudden? Afraid you’ll fall for my charm?”

You roll your eyes. “Deal.”

“You have a month Y/N.”

@evie-pr

#dun duuuun hope you liked it it will get sooooo juicy I can‘t contain myself for what i have planned #dele alli #football imagine #fanfiction #england nt #dele alli blurb #💗💗💗 #jadon sancho #trent alexander arnold #harry winks

[13-reasons-ideas]

Finding Peace In Another Part 23

The whispering followed me for the rest of the day. On more than one occasion, I had strangers some up to me and tell me what a crappy choice I made or tell me that he was just waiting to get me into bed so he could break my heart. By the end of the day, I was so frustrated with people, I was on the verge of punching the next person who dared to talk to me. I see why Monty doesn’t like these people. I tried my best to beat Bryce to our lockers, but that wasn’t in store for me. He was leaning against his locker, looking in the direction I was walking. Almost as though he was waiting for me. If there is a God, I am begging you, please don’t make me talk to him. “Hey Becca.” He greeted me, with his most charming tone. I ignored him and opened my locker. “I hear you had one hell of a day. If you want to talk about anything, feel free to swing by. Whenever you want.”

“Uh huh. Sure, Bryce. I’ll keep that in mind.” I spoke into my locker. When I pulled back with my stuff, he quickly closed the door and stepped closer. I felt myself tense up.

“I just want to make sure you understand Rebecca.”

“Understand what Bryce?”

“That nothing happened. Which means you’re going to keep your mouth shut. And that you may be Monty’s flavour of the week, but he is my brother. So if you do decide to talk, he will take my side.” He threatened.

I just blinked at him. “If nothing happened, what would I tell him exactly?”

He smirked at me, “I’m glad we have an understanding. Would hate for there to be any misunderstandings between you two.” I shivered at his tone.

“Hey babe.” Monty said as he came up behind me and placed his hand in my back pocket. I flinched ever so slightly and hoped he didn’t notice or thought it was just a muscle spasm.

“Hey you.” I greeted, stepping on tip toes to kiss his cheek.

“What were you two chatting about?”

“Just some math stuff.” Bryce replied.

“Yup, Bryce just wanted to clarify a concept.” I added, my voice rising an octave or two. I hate lying to him. “Great. Did you grab my notebook this morning Bryce?”

“Yeah, here you go. I’m running late to meet Chloe so I’ll see you two lovebirds later.”

“Later Bryce.”

“Bye.” I said, softly.

“Ready to go?” Monty asked me, slinging his arm around my shoulders. I nodded. With any luck he didn’t notice the stiffness in my upper body and couldn’t feel my heart racing as we walked to the car.

“Is everything okay Becks? You seem kind of off.”

“Everything is good Monty, I just didn’t get a great sleep last night like I said. Bailey will be in the guest room tonight so hopefully it’ll be better.”

“Tonight? Where did he sleep last night?”

“On the couch, under me.” His grip on my thigh tightened slightly. “Before you say anything it’s really no big deal. Bailey and I have never had those kinds of feelings. He really is just my best friend. Besides, he likes redheads. Says they’re fiery or something.”

“Looked like more than friends yesterday but sure. Whatever you say.”

“If we flirt with each other it’s like me flirting with Scott. Minus the one sided crush. Harmless. It’s funny for us because we both know nothing would ever come of it so we can be as dumb or risqué as we want. Actually made a game of it at one point.”

“A game?”

“Yeah, who could get away with the most risqué comments without getting in trouble with a teacher or having our friends telling us to just fuck already if we are going to flirt like that. It was fun.”

“Huh. Interesting.” He said, am impressed smirk plastered on his face.

“What?” I asked, giggling.

“Nothing. Just never pegged you for the sex jokes with friends type is all.”

“Well I never pegged you for the cranberry muffin type. Didn’t you know it’s the quiet ones you need to look out for?”

“I like what I like. They taste like Christmas. Don’t judge.”

“Not judging, just saying.” I said, raising my hands in surrender. When we got to my house I leaned over and kissed him quickly. “Bailey and I are going to a movie tonight. I’ll text you later.” I said as I opened the door and hopped out.

“Alright, have a fun night then.” He said, taken aback by my abrupt exit.

“See you in the morning.”

“See you.”

When I was at my door and looked back at him, he was staring out at me. I couldn’t tell if I had upset him or if he was just confused.

Bailey was lounging on the couch flipping through channels. “Hey.” I muttered as I walked in the living room and dropped down beside him.

“Hey. How was it?”

“Telling my friends was fine. Alex took it about exactly as I expected but after I told him about Jake, he said he would be civil. That was all I could hope for.”

“So why do you look like someone pissed in your corn flakes?”

“It was everyone else that was the problem. And you snore like a truck so I was tired all day.”

“People can learn to mind their own business. That is news to you how?”

“Not here they can’t. It’s not. I just forgot how nice it was to sleep in the quiet is all.”

“Yeah well, I forgot what it was like to sleep without someone’s feet touching me and waking me up.”

I stuck my tongue out at him. “Bite me.”

“I could if you wanted. Come here.” He joked, leaning in to bite my shoulder.

“Don’t you dare.”

“You like it.”

“I know. But the only person who is allowed to bite me anymore is Monty.”

“Ugh fine. I guess I can share you.”

“How ever will you manage?”

“Well, I am your backup plan so I guess I’ll just hold out hope that you’re single when we’re thirty.”

“Thirty is a long way away Bear.”

“I know but still. I can dream.”

“Me too. Did you decide on a movie to see yet?”

“Dolittle looks good.”

“Dolittle it is. I’m just going to go fix my hair, I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be here. You have good snacks.”

I chuckled and run up to my room to comb my hair out. As I pulled off Monty’s shirt, I caught sight of the bruise on my arm. It had started to turn purple in the middle by now. Another week or two and it will be gone. Then I won’t have to be reminded of it every time I change. I pulled my hair into an effortlessly messy ‘I woke up like this’ bun and touched up my makeup before grabbing Jake’s jacket and running back downstairs.

After the movie and a stop for coffee, we hung out on the couch. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Nothing. It’s just been a long day is all.”

“Right. Hey, you never did tell me how Monty came about.”

“Ugh, not you too.”

“What? What did I say?”

“You want to know too?”

“I think I have every right to know Becca. I’m your best friend. Hell, there was a time you called me your other brother.”

“That was before Bailey. Things have changed.”

“I know. And I’m sorry about Jake, you know I am. Doesn’t mean you need to be a bitch about it. I just asked a question.”

I looked at him like he had slapped me. We sat in silence for a while after his outburst. “I’m sorry. I’ve just dealt with people telling me how bad an ides this is all day. I didn’t mean to snap at you. You are my brother.”

Bailey shrugged, accepting my apology, “it’s okay, I get it. I miss him too. But I really am interested to know how you decided you were ready. And how you ended up with a jock of all people. I don’t know the guy so I can’t give you an opinion.”

It’s not just Jake. “As dumb and cliché as it sounds, I really do think that it just sort of happened. It’s not my place to elaborate too much but things aren’t great for him at home. I gave him a place to crash sometimes and I guess somewhere along the line, things changed. Somewhere in between our awkward first aid sessions in the bathroom and staying up late talking to each other. It went from being a good friend, to feeling a flutter when he was close to me, to realizing that maybe a relationship wasn’t such a bad idea. And that falling asleep in his arms was really nice.”

“You’re right. That is cliché.” He joked. I shoved him playfully.

“After everything he made me feel… safe. Being around him is like being home.” I paused for a minute, reflecting on what I had admitted. He is home. “As for how I ended up with a jock, well. Your guess is as good as mine.” I laughed.

“He isn’t bad on the eyes either.”

“No, he really isn’t, is he? Oh, and if you are interested in going to the game, I already agreed to take one of my friends. His name is Cyrus. You will like each other.”

“No problem. It’s a school night so you better get to bed.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you in the morning. Night Bear.”

“Night Becky.” I rolled my eyes as we parted ways at the top of the stairs.

Friday passed much the same as Thursday. The whispers followed the two of us wherever we went. I heard girls whispering as I would pass them in the halls or in the bathroom. Keeping to their word, my friends were civil and supportive. Zach put a stop to some particularly nasty whispers on our way to Peer Communications. I was appalled at what some people thought. There were supportive people too though. I had some people I had never met come up and offer me congratulations and other kind words. Those comments were the ones I chose to listen to. I kept quiet at lunch with Monty, partially trying to appear the strong, supportive girlfriend and partially as a defense to deal with sitting in the same breathing space as Bryce. If anyone noticed, no one said anything. Bailey and I ordered pizza for dinner and enjoyed being in each other’s company again after so long apart. He told me he was leaving Tuesday morning from San Francisco International, so we had a few days left to hang out.

Saturday morning was a lazy, stay in pyjamas day for us. He tried to “help” me make waffles. Only problem was his idea of helping, was making an even bigger mess than was necessary. Monty had agreed to come for breakfast because Bailey wanted to get to know his “competition” better before entrusting me to him more fully. When I gave him crap for it, he amended his words. “Fine, I want to make sure Jake’s job is done. You know he would have probably scared him off by now Becca.”

“I know. Would have been kind of funny to watch honestly. Jake chasing the poor guy up the street with a hockey stick.”

“Now that I would have paid to watch. In all seriousness though, Jake would have liked him. Might have taken him a while, but eventually.”  

“He would have, wouldn’t he?” I sighed and leaned against my friend for a moment. My pensive moment was interrupted by Bailey sticking his finger in the batter and lopping a glob on my nose. “Oh, you did not just do that.”

“I think I did.”

“Well in that case,” I paused for dramatic effect, before swiping batter on his cheek. That set off a game of chase we hadn’t done since we were kids. Just as he caught me, Monty knocked on the front door.

“It’s open.” I called. He walked in and did a double take at my kitchen and Bailey and I. Bailey was frozen in a move to sprinkle flour over my hair and I stood wide eyed, staring at Montgomery. What is he going to do? What does he think this is?  To my surprise, he only took off his flannel and shoes, before walking in.

“Cute pjs Becks.” He said. He shared a look with Bailey and smirked playfully. Oh no. Monty walked up to me and hugged me, leaning back slightly. No, he is not about to help. No. Just as I finished my thought, I felt flour sprinkling over my face.

“Traitor.” I muttered to my boyfriend.

“You like me.”

“I suppose you could come to that conclusion.”

“You suppose, hmmm?” He smirked again.

“Yes.” I replied, before suddenly turning from him and swiping the Nutella beside me, across his cheek. He feigned an affronted look before once again, sharing a look with Bailey. My smile dropped immediately. Shit.

Both boys took off after me, running around the island. “No fair. It’s two against one.”

“It is too fair Becca.” Bailey countered. I rolled my eyes and our fight continued for a bit longer.

“Okay, that’s enough. I promised you boys waffles and if this keeps up any longer, I’ll need to shower before I can make them.”

“I could cook them.” Bailey offered.

“That’s not happening. I don’t feel like calling the fire department today thank you very much.”

Monty laughed heartily, “she doesn’t let you actually cook anything either?”

“Nope. My job is measuring. Doesn’t even let me chop things.”

“She delegates me to re-organizing her cupboards. Does let me help chop stuff though.”

“That was one time.”

He stuck his tongue out at me instead of responding. Can he be any cuter?

The rest of the morning went by without any further incident. Bailey asked basic questions, which was considerably less than I expected. After we had cleaned up most of the mess and said our goodbyes, Bailey and I finished cleaning. “I stand corrected.” Bailey said, as we loaded the last of the dishes into the dishwasher.

“What?”

“Jake would have liked him right away.”

“How do you know?”

“What I watched this morning. You have him wrapped around your little finger. He loves you Rebecca.”

“No he doesn’t. What makes you think he does?”

“Yes. He does. I can tell. He looked at you all morning like his world begins and ends with you. And the other day, when I met him, the way his eyes lit up when I gave you your sweater and you got all excited. He loves you. And don’t even try and say you don’t love him. Because you do. Maybe it’s time you let someone love you again.”

#finding peace in another #monty imagine #monty x reader #montgomery de la cruz x oc #montgomery de la cruz #monty de la cruz #monty x oc #montgomery de la cruz imagine #montgomery de la cruz x reader

[asht0ns-world]

Penalty Shots (a.i.) part 2

It’s me again. Back with part 2. This is basically 3.7k of pure yearning so like … you’re welcome. Please let me know what you think, so I know that you guys enjoy it and I’ll keep writing more for it. I really enjoyed writing this part tbh, I could’ve gone on forever lmao.

word count: 3734

Part 1

It’s game day. Ashton is on his way to the stadium with Calum. He’s ranting on about something unimportant, so Ashton doesn’t feel bad for zoning out for the whole car ride there. They get to the parking lot and Ashton immediately searches to see if your car is there before Calum even parks the car, his heart skips a beat when he sees it standing there near the entrance. Calum sees him staring at it “Ash have you actually talked to her about what happened yet?” “I tried to man, but she won’t exactly talk to me privately. What if I fucked all this up for real now?” he says rubbing his neck with his hand. Cal shrugs “I don’t know man, you’ve been friends for a long time, I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Just talk to her”.They get out of the car “Yeah, friends and now I’m fucking it up by being in fucking love with her and making it weird” Ashton replies harshly. Cal takes a step back and raises his hands in joke defeat “woah no need to attack me ok, I’m telling you, talk to her, tell her how you’re feeling. There’s a really good chance she feels the same way about you, you two have been dancing around this topic for so long now. But you’ll never know if you don’t fucking talk to her”. And with that the conversation is over and they get their bags out of the trunk of Cal’s car and head towards the entrance.

You promised yourself you’d stay strong a whole week and not contact Ashton, but being in the same tight knit circle doesn’t really make that easy and you ended up seeing him three times over the last week. You went out to a bar together with your other friends two days ago and there he was, looking gorgeous as ever with his dumb effortlessly gorgeous hair, and smile and just general aura. You hate him. But you love him. You avoided being alone with him, and having to actually confront your feelings about him and the whole situation. At this point you do feel like you’re making a way bigger deal out of it than it needs to be, because let’s be real all he actually did is beat someone up. But then again, he shouldn’t walk around beating people up just because he’s jealous, even if it is kinda hot. It’s just all so messed up. Why can’t you just have crushes on people that are easy to date. Ashton has been one of your best friends for years now, and you feel so comfortable around him but you also know that you can’t break your rule of not dating within the friend group. It ended badly last time, you lost people you loved a lot and it just fucked you up for a long time. But Ashton was one of the reasons why you started feeling better sooner than you expected. Still, it just can’t happen again. And then Ashton’s image pops back up in your mind, and the way he looks at you when he thinks you can’t see, and the way he gets around you, and the way he treats you, and the way everything is just easy with him. And with that you question your stupid rule, because Ashton makes you question everything, he does that and you don’t know if you love or hate it. He makes your head spin, makes you want to be with him every second of every day, makes you feel warm & fuzzy inside, makes you want to say fuck it to your rules and just run up to him and kiss him with all the pent up emotion from the last couple of weeks. But you can’t. But you also ended up here, at his game the week after the incident, you’re not even surprised. You’re standing near the entrance waiting for him to arrive, with Calum no doubt since his car is being fixed at the moment. You’ve been waiting for about ten minutes when you see Calum’s car pull into the parking lot and your heart immediately starts to race. You panic and go inside the building, but turn around after the door closes behind you what are you doing? and head back outside. You start to nervously pace back and forth biting your nails. “Why the fuck am I so nervous” you whisper to yourself, annoyed at your heart racing and your stomach turning just at the thought of seeing Ashton again. “Calm down” you say again, trying to calm your breathing. And then you see the two guys get out of Calum’s car and you contemplate going over there to greet them, but decide against it and just awkwardly stand there with one leg in front of the other, hiding your hands in your coat pockets to try and occupy them in some way as to not seem even more awkward than you already must be. Calum and Ashton head towards you, and you know Ashton saw you when he looks up and comes to a halt making Calum basically run into him. You hear a muffled “Dude!” from Calum. He also looks up and sees you, but instead of just stopping like Ashton he actually waves and keeps walking towards you, turning around to give Ashton a head shake. “Hey there stranger, missed you at practice the other day” he says while hugging you tightly. “Didn’t feel like getting up from the couch to be honest” you chuckled, now looking back to Ashton, who has apparently regained his composure, and see him slowly make his way towards you. You scream at yourself to not make it weird, and try to act as naturally as possible. Ashton is now standing in front of you, and the two of you just kind of stare at each other in silence. Calum clears his throat and starts heading towards the building but not before turning towards the two of you and saying “figure it out, I’m tired of being the middle man and you guys making it awkward to go out drinking together”, leaving you and Ashton alone, in silence, even more awkward than before. “Hey, how are you doing?” Ashton asks carefully. You know he thinks you’re still pissed about what happened last time, and you are, but also you’re not because you can’t be mad at him, which isn’t a good sign. You don’t even know yourself, but you can’t just say that to him, because it’s not fair and you haven’t had time to think about your feelings for him. You so badly just want to hug him tightly, and then look him in the eyes and say “you’re an idiot” and just kiss him like you’ve never kissed anyone before. “I’m fine, what about you? You nervous for the game?”, you internally slap yourself for sounding so stiff. He’s your best friend, stop making it so weird.

Ashton tries to stop himself from showing her how sad he actually is on his face, but it’s hard to hide it, especially when he can sense that you’re acting different than usual towards him. He knows it’s his fault, and he knows he shouldn’t have done what he did, but fucking Caleb just pissed him off so much. “Listen, I’m sorry for what happened ok, I know beating him up was not the answer but I just got so jea..- mad at him.” he hastily says, adjusting his bag strap and shifting uncomfortably on his feet. He wanted to add that Caleb is an asshole that didn’t deserve you because you’re so much better than him and he wished it was him you ran to after games to kiss, but it wasn’t and it won’t be. He carefully looks at you, to see your reaction. You contemplate what to say, which is throwing him off. But before you get a chance to reply you’re interrupted by the rest of Ashton’s team arriving rather loudly and pulling him away from you “you can make-out with your girlfriend later Irwin” Spencer, one of Ashton’s teammates, says rather loudly, which makes you blush uncontrollably and Ashton just ducks away and storms inside. 

Ashton gets inside to the dressing room and gives Spencer a wordless shove and a glare while walking to one of the lockers and get ready for the game. “Hey, it’s not my fault you don’t have the balls to just fucking kiss her. If you don’t hurry someone else will, you do know that Irwin?” Spencer says while leaning against the locker next to Ashton. Calum pulls him away “fuck you Spencer” and turns towards Ashton to try and calm him down, he doesn’t want a repeat of last weeks game but with his own teammates. Ashton quickly gets dressed, and ignores Calum’s questioning glances. Before he leaves the dressing room to go get warmed up on the ice he says “Don’t worry Cal, I won’t do anything stupid, not when I know she’s watching. I don’t wanna fuck it up even more than I already have. So please stop looking at me like that, it’s annoying and your face looks weird like that”. And with that he leaves Calum standing there perplexed and leaves. 

You’re walking around the outside ring of the ice rink, to the makeshift food and coffee stands set up by volunteers every game. You greet several of the regulars, while getting a coffee and talking about the upcoming game. “You didn’t come to watch practice this week?” Gabe’s mom asks you while handing you your coffee. You nearly drop it, but catch yourself and play it off as the cup being too hot “uhm.. Yeah. I had some … work to do and Jake was using my car. Why? Did uh something happen?” you come up with a random lie on the spot. “No, not really. Coach had them run more one-man disadvantage plays than usual though, so I’m guessing they’re expecting Ashton to still be carelessly aggressive during this game. He really needs to control his temper more. We were lucky that Glendale isn’t as strong as our boys, but next time we might not be as lucky. Even though I don’t like to admit it, Ashton is one of our best shooters, so him being reckless doesn’t do anyone any favors”. You had to quickly take a sip from your coffee to stop yourself from saying something stupid to her about her choice of tone when talking about Ashton, because you know she’s right. Ashton was being a dick. He gave the opposing team unnecessary advantages because of the fouls he kept playing. Still, she shouldn’t talk about him that way, especially when her son does literally nothing to add to the team’s ability to win. And it’s not like Ashton is the only one getting penalties, it’s still hockey, it’s still an aggressive game. Everyone does stupid shit, she shouldn’t put it all on Ashton, just because he started a fight. But you hold your tongue and refrain from punching her and bid her farewell. You tell yourself to not get too heated about the fact that probably half the people here to watch are pissed at Ashton, you are supposed to be pissed as well. You are. Are you? Yes you are. Just for different reasons, and more complicated. And you’re also in love with him, so does that really count? You don’t know. You can’t think about this right now. You head to your usual seat and grab your phone from your purse to text Jake and ask when he plans to arrive because you don’t want to have to talk to another parent that asks stupid questions. You instinctively look up when you sense the guys walking onto the ice. And you spot Ashton skating across to the team bench with his helmet and chest protector still in his hand, and you can’t help but admire him. He looks so good in his gear. So effortlessly cool skating across the ice, stopping before the barricade, throwing his stuff over it and hopping onto it to open the door from the other side. Ugh, you need to get yourself together or you’re gonna end up drooling on the floor. Ash looks up towards you while he’s still sat on the barricade and gives you a smirk. He knows you love the way he looks in his gear, you’ve told him multiple times. He takes his sweet time getting down again. He’s wearing a baby blue tight sports shirt that literally does not leave any of his muscles unseen and it’s making you sweat, especially because you bought that shirt with him. You try to hide the fact you’re clearly turned on by him, by taking your phone out again and texting Jake, this time with more urgency for him to get here.

Ashton sees you shifting in your seat, and he can tell his outfit had the intended effect. He smirked thinking maybe he should milk it even more, but Calum pokes him in the side and tells him to hurry up, so he gets down and puts on the rest of his gear to start running drills as the opposing team started to arrive as well. 

It’s the second period and the game is tied, it’s a rough game from both sides. The teams have been rivals for ages, and it’s the first time in 2 years that they’re playing in the same league again. They both started in the same league when they were all just kids, but beat each other out every couple of years, so it’s bound to be full of tension. Your throat already hurts from screaming and Jake is in the process of almost losing his goddamn mind because the opposing team keeps going for the goalie, Sean, and everyone knows that’s a big no-go, and also, probably the bigger reason, because that’s Jake’s boyfriend. In addition number 9 has been doing unnecessary shit the whole game, like tripping players, jabbing Sean, holding, and the ref is doing nothing about it. Jake just got done insulting number 9’s face in full scream, when he body slams Ashton, skates away and pretends like nothing happened. You wince, and immediately grip Jake’s hand because you know what’s gonna happen now. And as predicted, Ashton loses his cool and races across the ice to push Number 9 from behind. While this is happening on one side of the rink, their team scores a goal on the other, but the ref calls it a no-goal because of the penalty on the other team’s player. To which the whole team starts yelling and the crowd goes insane. Ashton gets a 5 minute penalty for checking from behind, and heads to the penalty box, undoubtedly letting a couple of swears slip past his lips. He shakes his head at the call, and looks up to you. You know he’s looking for any sign of you being mad at him, but he can’t see one. He knows you know that he deserved it. The rest of the game is filled with penalties left and right, but in the end Ashton’s team wins by 2 and as the final second counts down on the scoreboard the fans and the team go crazy. The buzzer sounds to indicate the game being over and they throw their sticks and gloves in the air and all throw themselves on top of Sean in a big pile of celebration. You turn to Jake and enthusiastically hug him while you’re both cheering. 

You and Jake are in a conversation about where to go tonight to celebrate, when the guys come out of the building and Jake’s boyfriend comes up behind him to give him a kiss on the cheek. You turn around and look around for Ashton and Calum while Jake and Sean are busy making out. You spot Calum and run up to him and give him a big hug “congrats on the win!” you giggle-yell as he picks you up and spins you around. He puts you down, and you look back behind him to look for Ashton, Calum catches on and tells you he’s still inside. You contemplate going inside to look for him, but Jake pulls you back into the conversation about where to go tonight to celebrate. After another 5 minutes Ashton arrives and stands beside you, joining in on the conversation. He puts his arm around your shoulders like he usually does, and your heart starts racing, like it usually does. You look up to him and softly smile, he returns the smile and pulls you a little closer. Jake suggests actually going to a nightclub for a change, earning a groan from everyone. “Ok, fine then we’ll end up going to the same irish pub we always go to because you guys are all boring” he pouts and crosses his arms. Someone else suggests a new bar they heard some people talk about the other day, and after a heated back and forth everyone agrees to go to the new bar downtown. You, Ashton and Calum agree to meet up at their place to pre-game and take an uber there together. Everyone goes to their cars and you follow Calum back to their place. 

Once at their apartment you all head upstairs and Calum shoots for the bedroom to go and change so he can start making drinks. He’s been annoying everyone with wanting to make extravagant drinks from his new cocktail book he got from the bookstore he works at. Every week he comes back with at least 3 or 4 different books about cooking or bartending that he then makes everyone try with him, and this is his latest one that they have to test out tonight. Meanwhile, you and Ashton get on setting up the sound system and picking out a playlist that fits the mood, which according to Calum is going to be “the best pre-game in a long time”. After you suggested 4 different ones and Ashton giving you a disbelieving look for every single one, you huff, telling him to just decide. He chuckles, reaching for your phone and brushing your hand while doing so. He’s standing opposite of you, but so close you can basically feel his breath on your face. His head is tilted down concentrating on Spotify that’s pulled up on your phone, and he has a cute frown set on his face. You have the urge to put your forehead against his, which is only a couple of inches away from yours. You ignore the urge to do that, and intently focus on his fingers scrolling through your playlists, which doesn’t really make the situation any better for you. Finally he settles on a playlist and clicks shuffle, locking your phone afterwards. He hands your phone back to you, and the screen lights up again showing your lockscreen, which is a picture of Calum, Ashton and you on vacation at the lake house. The Spotify Pop-up is blocking some of the picture, but you still blush because you chose a picture where Calum and you are admiring the sunset while Ashton admires you, and you don’t know if Ashton know that you have that as your lockscreen. He softly looks you in the eyes and does one of his cute half-smiles and you nearly melt on the spot. You hastily turn to the coffee table to escape his stare and put your phone down.

 Finally Calum returns dressed and heads for the kitchen to start mixing the drinks. Ashton pulls you towards his bedroom so you can help him pick out what to wear, your usual going-out ritual. Which normally includes you hyping him up so he’ll get laid tonight, which you have a feeling is going to be different today, because the only person you want him to sleep with tonight is you, but he doesn’t need to know that. Ok you need to calm down you think to yourself don’t do anything stupid that might mess this up. You head towards his dresser and open the door where all his shirts are hung up. Ashton stands next to you and starts pulling out random shirts that are hung on your side, obviously wanting an excuse to have physical contact with you, but you’re not complaining. You agree on three different ones, and tell him to try them on with the black ripped jeans you like so much. He takes his current T-Shirt off and puts on a black short sleeved button-up, and you look him up and down. Yeah, this is going to be a long evening if he looks this good, fuck. “Yeah, I like that one” you say with a small voice. Ashton raises one of his eyebrows at your failed attempt to stay calm. You go to the box on his nightstand to get 2 of your favorite necklaces of his and walk back over to him and place them around his neck, while never breaking eye contact. You take half a step back to admire your work. “Do I look presentable?” he chuckles. You mock him “Do I LoOk PrEsEnTabLE? Of course you do, you always do, you know that. But ….” and you take that half step back towards him and your hands reach for the shirt to unbutton the first 2 buttons so the necklaces are better seen. You fiddle with the second button and Ashton watches you closely “let me help you” he says, almost in a whisper and lays his hand on top of yours so he could do it himself. You clear your throat and look up at him, he minimally tilts his head to the left and looks at you making your breath hitch in your throat. Slowly he leans towards you, letting his eyes wander to your lips and back up to your eyes, and you do the same. His tongue flicks out to wet his lips, you can feel his breath on your lips. He’s so close now that you can almost feel his upper lip brush yours, when Calum storms into the room screaming “LET’S GET FUCKED UP TONIGHT” with their drinks in his hands.

that’s it for part 2 ! Lemme know what you think and also lemme know if you want a part 3 ! I will probably start working on that once I’m done with exams, so please be patient with me !

#ash #lena writes #ashton fic #ashton irwin fic #ashton irwin blurb #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin #5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum hood #cal #penalty shots

[colbybrocksmolder]

Emo Justin Bieber – Colby Brock x Reader (singer/anxiety)

*The two songs I’m using as written by the reader are “idontwannabeyouanymore” by Billie Eilish and “90 Days” by P!nk. You don’t have to listen to them if you don’t want to, but they’re beautiful songs.*

-----------------------------

“Mike!” you yelled into the phone. You couldn’t hear him over the noise of the crowd gathered outside the venue.

“Y/n! I’m gonna text you!” Mike said, but you didn’t hear any of it. You didn’t realize Mike had even hung up until you felt your phone vibrate in your hand with a text notification.

Drop Dead Fred – Sorry, I don’t think you could hear anything I was saying. I’m going to send Colby out to get you.

Y/n – What does he look like?

Drop Dead Fred – Emo Justin Bieber

Drop Dead Fred – He’ll meet you around back. There are less people out there.

Y/n – I’m running around now

Seeing the back entrance to the venue, you pushed through as many people as you could to get closer to the door. You saw a young blond dude peek his head out. *He looks too wholesome for Mike to call him emo* you thought, trying to get closer to the door. *That’s more like it* you thought, seeing a cute blue haired boy in a Nirvana shirt peek out from above the blond boy. “Colby!” you yelled.

“Y/n?” he yelled, seeing you nod. “Hey guys, let her through!” Colby instructed the wild group of fans.

“Thank God” you sighed, finally making your way through the door. “What the fuck happened? The show doesn’t start for like 4 hours.” Colby took in your appearance, appreciating your style. *She seems feisty* he thought. *It’s cute*.

The blond boy laughed, walking down the hallway. You and Colby followed behind him. “SOMEONE”, the blond boy started, “made the dumb decision to snapchat that they were on their way to the venue.”

Colby’s face turned pink, his eyes on the ground in front of him. “Emo Justin Bieber?” you asked blondie, pointing your thumb at Colby. The blond boy let out a loud laugh.

“Hey!” Colby replied, faking that he was offended. “I resent that.”

“Well, resent Mike. That’s who he said I was looking for when he sent you to get me.” You laughed.

“He told us to look for the female version of him” The blond cut in.

You made a face like you were considering it. “Makes sense. We both look like emo boys.” Colby was trying to sneak glances at you. He noticed your lip ring, accentuating the curve of your lips. Your dyed hair making your eyes pop. *You definitely don’t look like a boy* he thought to himself, his cheeks turning rosy once more when you almost caught him looking at you.

“I’m Sam, by the way.” He turned to walk backwards so he could face you.

“Y/n.” you answered, even though Mike told them your name. “So how are you guys famous? I mean, one snapchat and the 7th ring of hell is outside.” You laughed.

“YouTube.” Colby answered, clearing his throat. *God, her laugh is adorable* he thought. He was kind of happy she didn’t know who they were. It’s refreshing to meet someone and start with a clean slate. No ulterior motives. “How do you know Mike?” he asked.

“We met through a music buddy. He wanted a girl to sing on this song he was working on last year and we just hit it off.” You explained. “So, if you’re his YouTube friends, you must know Jake.”

“You know Jake?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, met him right after I met Mike.” You answered.

“Dude, we’ve known Jake for years. We used to make Vines back in the day before any of us moved to California.” Colby said.

“Jake’s rad.” You replied. “We hit it off right away. Though, I don’t know who wouldn’t get along with him.”

The three of you finally made it to the stage’s side entrance and you ran towards Mike. He was facing the other way and you half tackled him when you reached him. “BOO!” you yelled. After realizing it was you, he laughed, trying to get you in a headlock. You two always acted like siblings when you were together.

“You a little jealous over there, emo Biebs?” Sam smirked at Colby, one eyebrow raised in inquiry.

“I’m never going to live that down, am I?” Colby replied, walking up to sit on the edge of the stage. Sam laughed. It wasn’t often that Colby got flustered around a girl.

“OKAY! We need people to be quiet. We’re going to run through the songs with mics just to make sure we know where feedback is going to hit and whether or not we need to change any volume levels.” Mike called out, asking the room to quiet down.

Colby laid down on the edge of the stage watching Aryia, Mike, and a few other small artists run through their songs. All of the friends that had already showed up were sprawled throughout the venue space watching the warm-ups.  Last but not least, you were running through a song by yourself and then running through a song with Mike.

You sat behind the keyboard, Aryia picking up an acoustic guitar to play along with you. Aryia counted you out, both of you starting to play at the same time. Mike yelled for the engineer to turn up the keyboard, waiting a few seconds before confirming it fixed an issue.

Your eyes were closed, your nerves always messing with you until you actually got into the song. “Don’t be that way. Fall apart twice a day. I just wish you could feel…what you say.” You began to sing.

Colby immediately sat up, watching you sing. The easiest way to describe what he was thinking is simply…*Whoa*

“Show, never tell. But I know you too well. Got a mood that you wish you could sell.” The keyboard started to slightly build before you started on the chorus. “If teardrops could be bottled, there’d be swimming pools filled by models…” You continued singing.

The whole time you were singing Colby sat cross-legged, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees. His mouth hung open in awe of what he was hearing. Towards the end of the song Jake came to stand next to the edge of the stage Colby was sitting on. “I’d close your mouth, brother. You’re starting to drool.” Jake teased him.

Colby slightly jumped, not realizing Jake had even stood next to him. “Am not” he defended, lightly backhanding Jake’s shoulder.

“You should totally ask her out.” Jake encouraged. “She’s seriously one of the most chill people I’ve met since I moved here.”

Colby looked over at Jake. “Yeah. She told us all about how awesome you were and how well you guys hit it off.” He tried to keep the snark out of his voice, but he sounded pathetically jealous and it made Jake chuckle.

“Brother. Do you remember me telling you to come out with Mike, Elias, and some friends? When Aryia was on his long ass trip?” Jake asked.

“That party last year?” Colby asked, making a face.

“Do you remember what I told you?” Jake continued.

Colby had turned back to watch you finish the song. “Not really.” He said, getting annoyed that Jake was still talking when all he wanted to do was listen to you sing.

“See if this sounds familiar. ‘Hey Colby. Dude. You NEED to come to this party tonight with us. I just met this girl and I think you’re really going to like her.’ Is any of that ringing a bell?” Jake shoved Colby, laughing.

“What the fuck, dude?” Colby whisper yelled, looking over at Jake. He was walking backwards away from the stage while pointing up at you with both hands, giving Colby the smuggest look. “Her?” Colby’s mouth dropped.

You and Aryia had just played the last few notes of the song and Jake started clapping and cheering, the rest of the people in the room joining in. Your cheeks turned rose colored and you stepped out from behind the keyboard to run through the last song.

Mike’s voice came over the sound system. “After that, I’m nervous to sing the next one. I don’t know if I can keep up” he joked.

“Oh, shut up.” You laughed. “You’re the true performer here.”

“Sure. Yeah. You definitely didn’t just blow everyone in this room away. Not at all.” He sarcastically said, joining you on stage.

“Miiiike” you whined. He knew you had stage fright. He knew being up here with him made you light-headed and nervous. He always doted on you anyways.

“Fine, fine. I’ll stop.” He laughed. “Last song for warm ups and then everyone is good to chill until the show.”

The music started, you tried to calm your breathing since you are the one that sang first. By the time you got to the buildup before the chorus, your butterflies were gone. You had helped Mike write this song about his ex and it was easy to just fall into the music. The two of you singing in unison, “I’m here, but I’m in pieces and I don’t know how to fix this…I don’t know how to fix this….no”

You sang melody for the chorus, Mike taking harmony. You were center stage, facing each other. Eyes locked on each other’s. “If I’m just somebody that you’re gonna leave, and you don’t feel something when you look at me…You’re holding my heart, mmmm, what you say? Just let me down slowly, I’ll be okay. If you’re just some habit that I gotta break, I can clear my system in 90 days. You’re holding my heart, mmm, what you say? Just let me down slowwwwwly.”

Mike started his solo verse, turning to walk the stage as he sang. You were proud of your friend. It had taken him months to be able to share this song with anyone but the two of you. He had grown so much since the breakup.

The bridge built up to the last chorus. This part of the song truly showed off your range. Most of the songs you write and perform are slow and sweet. Or slow and sad, but it felt good to pour everything into the song. You had to belt some higher notes and the strength in your voice filled the room. Colby was still sat on the edge of the stage, his eyes closed and his skin covered in goosebumps as he listened to you sing. As the chorus wound down, you met Mike back center stage, close enough you could share one mic. “You’re holding my heart, mmm, what you say? Just let me down slooooowwww………ly.”

The room stayed silent, Mike’s breaths heavy from the emotion he still felt reliving the words. You pulled him into hug. “I’m so fucking proud of you, dude.”

“Ho. Ly. Shit.” Jake said, jumping up on stage, pulling Mike into a typical bro hug. “Seriously, you guys. That was…I don’t even know what to say.” He turned to you and hugged you.

“Thanks.” You laughed, hugging him back. You saw Colby slowly make his way towards Mike, the two of them talking. They both laughed and you couldn’t help but smile. Mike’s laugh is contagious, but Colby’s laugh made you…feel something? *Calm down y/n. Boys are dumb. There’s a reason you don’t date.* you reminded yourself.

“Y/n” Jake called your attention back to him. His arm was thrown over your shoulder. “You see something you like over there?” he asked, lifting his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

You went to mumble some denial when you happened to see Tara walking towards you. “Yeah. She’s about 5 foot tall, killer body, lips to die for…” you kept going, laughing at the look on Jake’s face.

Jake turned to look back and Mike and Colby when he saw that Tara had joined them. “Oh, haha. Very funny.” He laughed, playfully shoving you away from him before running and throwing Tara over his shoulder. “Y/n thinks you’re hot, babe.”

“I mean, with a voice like hers I may consider switching teams.” She reached down to slap Jake’s ass.

Jake ran across the stage with Tara still over his shoulder. “You’ll never take her from me!” He yelled, Tara laughing her ass off.

You made your way through the stage exit, looking for a quiet place to sit and chill before the nerves for tonight’s show would inevitably catch up to you again. Seeing the ladder in the brick hallway, you decided that the catwalk was the perfect place. You hoisted yourself over the locked panel that was meant to keep people off of the ladder and started climbing. You laid down on the narrow metal walkway that ran above the venue, the faint bustle of people setting up the show below you filled the echoey space.

“Do you want some company?” you heard someone quietly ask.

Lifting your head, you saw Colby standing at your feet, a shy look on his face. Closing your eyes, you laid your head back down and smiled. “I’m impressed.”

“By?” Colby inquired, moving to lay down next to you on the cool metal walkway.

“We’re up pretty high. Mike won’t even sit up here with me. AND I never expected blue haired blushing Bieber to break the rules. There was an employee only sign on that ladder, young man.” You teased.

Colby full on snorted. “First, you definitely haven’t seen any of my videos. Sam and I have literally been arrested for breaking into abandoned buildings for YouTube videos. Second, the higher up the better. I think our highest ladder climb was almost 300 feet.

“I stand by my earlier statement then. I’m impressed.” You looked over at him before once again closing your eyes. “I just want to lay here for a bit. I like the background noise. Calms my nerves.”

“You literally have nothing to be nervous about. You’re incredible.” Colby quietly said, moving to stand up.

You grabbed his hand to stop him. “I didn’t mean you had to leave.” *Damnit damnit damnit* you started internally panicking. “Sorry” you said, quickly pulling your hand back and laying it across your stomach. “Thank you. What you said was sweet.”

Colby laid back down. *Jesus, she’s adorable* he thought, looking over at your now pink cheeks. “I meant it.” He softly spoke. After a moment, Colby reached back out to pull your hand back into his, setting your joined hands on the metal between you two.

When the show was finally over, the artists all went back to take a breather in the room everyone had gotten ready in. Laying on couches, taking off stage make-up, taking shots…eventually their friends found their way to them. “Where’s Y/n?” Colby asked.

“Why do you wanna know?” Jake smiled at him from one of the couches.

“Oooooo does Colby have a crush?” Mike teased, downing his 4th shot of whiskey.

“Don’t tease him” Tara scolded them, texting Colby. ‘She usually finds a place to be alone when she’s anxious and I guarantee you she’s going to be after performing tonight’ she sent the text, the boys still heckling Colby.

“You’re going to sleep alone tonight if you don’t leave that boy alone.” Tara teasingly threatened.

Jake pretended to zip his mouth, pulling Tara into his lap.

“The same goes for you!” Aryia said in a sexy voice, slapping Mike’s ass when he went to say something else to Colby. Everyone in the room started laughing, Colby slipping back out into the brick hallway.

“Hey!” Sam called after him. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I think I know where y/n is. Text me if you guys head out.” Colby yelled back down the hall, headed to the ladder.

“I thought I’d find you here.” Colby said, laying back down next to you on the metal path.

“I didn’t realize I was being looked for” you smiled over at blue eyed boy. “I like the make-up” you said, seeing the remnants of eyeliner smudged under his eyes.

“Oh shit, I forgot about it” Colby laughed. “One of Mike’s friends started going ham with the eyeliner right before the show.”

“I think I’ve sweat all of mine off at this point” you said, running your fingers under your eyes. “I just want to go home and shower.”

“Are you not coming to the after party?” He asked, sitting up.

“Parties make me anxious even when I’m not a mess. I don’t think I want to sit through one after how muggy it got in here tonight.” You sat up.

“Well, just go home and shower before you head over.” Colby suggested, bummed he wasn’t going to get to spend any more time with you tonight.

You stood up, reaching down to pull Colby up with you. “Dude, if I go home and take my bra off, I’m not leaving again.” You laughed.

“Believe me, I get it. I can’t wait to take mine off.” Colby teased. “I have an offer, then. I live like 5 minutes from the party and I have to stop by my apartment anyways. Come shower at my place and then we can head over to the party.”

“Tempting as that is, I guarantee you Mike and Aryia are already shitfaced, Jake won’t go because Tara is underage, and YOU will undoubtedly find a beautiful girl to end your night with.” You lightly poked his chest, turning to walk back to the ladder. You may or may not have watched a few of his videos before he found you after the show. One thing for sure is that he was a massive flirt. It’s not a bad thing, but it definitely reminded you that it felt safer to just stay in your own lane. *Boys are dumb. This is why we don’t date* “Why would I want to go drink alone at a party when I can do that at my house with less clothes and my cat to keep me company?”

“First, I want to meet your cat. I like animals more than most people. Second, you’ve got one thing wrong there.” Colby followed you. “Well, not entirely.”

“I’m with you on the animals thing, but what do I have wrong?” you asked, jumping off of the ladder with the last few rungs left below you.

Colby dropped down beside you, the two of you walking to the room where everyone else was. “I promise I won’t ditch you. I won’t leave your side even for a second if you don’t want me to. You have to come out and celebrate how killer you were tonight.”

“Y/n!” Mike cheered when you two walked into the room. “Girl, you killed it.”

“Nah, that was all you.” You said, pulling Mike into a hug. You made the rounds talking to the rest of the artists that had performed. Colby leaned back against one of the walls and watched you with a smile on his face.

Tara text Colby – ‘I knew you’d find her.’

Colby – ‘I’m trying to get her to come to the party.’

Tara – ‘She’s not really a party person. She usually comes over and hangs out with me when the guys party since I can’t risk getting in trouble.’

Colby – ‘Ya, she said she gets anxious. She said I’d just ditch her when we got there but I promised her I wouldn’t.’

Tara – ‘Colby Brock, I’m going to tell you something and if you tell anyone or tell her I told you I’ll cut your balls off in your sleep. Do you agree to these terms?’

Colby – ‘You know I’d never do something like that.’

Tara – ‘I know. You’re one of the good ones. I just want you to understand how important it is not to tell. I don’t want to break her trust, but I think you two could be good together.’

Colby – ‘Cross my heart, hope to lose my balls. I won’t tell a soul.’

Tara stood from the couch, pulling Colby into the hall. “First, delete those texts.”

Colby did what she said. “Done.”

“Okay” Tara sighed. “Y/n and I are pretty close. We’ve dealt with some of the same shit. She’s only had one boyfriend and it was a long time ago.”

“Really?” Colby sounded shocked. “She’s gorgeous. And her voice….dude.”

“She doesn’t really date because her ex was just trash.” Tara explained. “You’re going to get friend-zoned the second you get close to her, just… don’t let it discourage you. She’s seriously amazing.”

“I can see the amazing part. Aaaaand the nervous part.” He smiled. “She grabbed my hand earlier and then kinda freaked out. It was adorable. She did let me hold her hand a few minutes later so maybe I’ve actually got a chance here.”

“Colby, if anyone has a chance with that girl it’s you.” Tara smiled up at the blushing boy. “Maybe neither of you go to the party. Let her know you want her to come because you want to spend time with her. Doesn’t matter where.”

“TARA” Colby half whined. “That would require me telling her how I feel. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but girls tell me they like me and if I think they’re worth my time then I make a move. I can’t just hang my shit out there like that.”

“Colby” Tara flicked him in the forehead. “The difference? You’re normally way out of those girls’ league. Don’t punish Y/n because you have trash standards with one-night stands.”

“So, she IS out of my league.” Colby pointed at Tara with a look. “And HEY!......that was mean.” He stuck his bottom lip out, trying to give her puppy dog eyes.

Tara couldn’t help but laugh at him. “I don’t actually think you’re a fuckboy. I just want you to grow a pair of balls and go after someone actually worth your time.”

Jake walked out of the door, looking for Tara. “Everyone is leaving, babe.” He wrapped his arms around Tara from behind.

“I’m ready. I was just trying to give this one a pep talk.” She answered, turning to face Jake and pulling him into a quick kiss.

“By the way” Jake said, staring at Colby. “I don’t know what your plans were tonight, but y/n is going to order an Uber and go home, lover boy.”

“Whatcha gonna do?” Tara asked him, dragging Jake down the hallway.

*Just do it. Don’t be a pussy. You’re a likeable person, right?....right?* Colby tried to pep talk himself before going back in the room.

“COLBY!” Mike cheered, handing him a shot.

“No thanks, brother. I’m driving.” He said, passing the shot off to Aryia. “Y/n!” he called, seeing you talking to Kevin across the room.

“I wondered where you went.” You smiled.

“Did you decide if you’re going to the party?” He asked, hoping you’d say yes.

“I think I’ve had enough near panic attacks for the night.” You gave him a sad smile. “I was just saying bye to this one here and I was going to order an Uber.” You pulled Kevin into a hug.

“Can I at least drive you?” He asked, saying bye to Kevin with a weird handshake.

You half smiled and sighed. “Go to the party, Colby. Go have a good time.” You patted his chest, turning to walk towards Mike.

Colby caught the hand you had just touched him with. “I’m only going to the party if you do.” He blurted out.

“And why is that?” you asked, trying to keep your nerves steady.

“What, am I not allowed to want to hang out with you?” He tried and failed to make that sound casual and smooth.

You felt your phone go off in your back pocket and pulled it out. Tara was calling you. “What’s up, beautiful?” you asked, laughing at the funny look on Colby’s face.

“Are you with Colby?” Tara asked, quickly adding “DON’T TELL HIM I’M ASKING JUST ANSWER!”

“Yes, I am.” You answered, cocking your head and looking up at the blue eyed boy.

“Do you trust me?” Tara asked.

“Of course.” You answered, wondering where the hell this was going.

“Then trust Colby.” She said, continuing when you didn’t answer back. “He thinks you’re fucking awesome and talented and beautiful and while you already know you’re all of those things, I know that he’s a good guy. Literally one of the best guys I know. This is the dude Jake tried to hook you up with like 6 months ago. I know he’s a flirt and he acts like he’s the smoothest bitch in the room, but he’s been nervous as balls all night trying to find a way to hang out with you.”

You could hear Jake cracking up in the background. “Y/n, he’s one of my best friends. Listen to Tara.”

Colby watched the strangest emotion cross your face, your phone pressed to your ear.

“I love you both.” You said, hanging up before either of them could reply. “Is that offer still on the table, Colby?” You asked, taking a step closer to him.

“There have been a few offers made tonight” he laughed. “But as long as you keep calling me Colby and never call me emo Justin Bieber again, I’m pretty much down for anything.”

You chuckled, grabbing his hand. “A little bird told me this party may just be worth my time, so if you don’t mind, I’d love to steal a shower and a clean shirt.”

*and my love and attention and affection and…* Colby thought. He heard your little laugh and couldn’t help but smile. “I think we can work something out” he said, letting you pull him towards the door.

“Y/n’s holding a boy’s hand?” Mike teased you, pulling you into a hug. He leaned down to drunk whisper in your ear. “You picked a good one.” Mike kissed your forehead and gave Colby a bro hug.

“We’ll be a little late to the party. I need to stop at my place for a bit.” Colby told Mike.

The drive to Colby’s apartment was relaxed. You found him super easy to talk to and the time flew by. “Welcome to my humble abode.” He said, tossing his keys on the counter and ditching his shoes. “follow me.”

“I like your color scheme” you said, noticing most things were some shade of grey or black and the abundance of glass furniture/décor.

“Hey, I haven’t decorated much yet. Don’t make fun.” He turned to fake a hurt look.

“No, I’m serious.” You said, stopping to take in the space. “I like it. It feels…Peaceful. Bright colorful places make me feel anxious.” You tried to explain, feeling like you were rambling. “Sorry” you mumbled, catching up with him in his bedroom.

Colby turned to face you, just looking at you for a few seconds. “First, don’t apologize. I completely relate. Second,…” Colby pinched your arm.

“OW!” you yelled, immediately pinching him back. “What the fuck was that for?”

Colby laughed, rubbing the skin you had just pinched. “I just…you know. Making sure you’re real.” He saw your face soften a bit, but before you could reply he turned to keep walking. “Here’s the bathroom. Use whatever you need in the shower, there’s a clean towel hanging right there.”

The butterflies in your stomach felt different. You still had nerves, but they felt innocent, not stressed. This felt like anticipation, not dread. “Thank you” you smiled at him, walking past him into the bathroom. Colby went back out to the living room to wait for you to finish. You washed your hair and then your body. Feeling the griminess of the show venue wash off of you made you feel 100 times better already. Hopping out of the shower you dried off with the towel before wrapping it around yourself. “Collllbyyyy” you called, walking out in the towel. “I’m going to raid your clothes” you called, turning towards his closet. The longer you were out of your sweat soaked clothes, the less you wanted to put them back on.

Seeing you in his bedroom, in his towel, going through his clothes made him smile. “Wear whatever you want.” Colby said from the door, checking you out while you weren’t looking. “I’m gonna hop in the shower while you’re getting dressed. I didn’t realize how gross I felt until I sat on my clean couch” he laughed. “I’ll leave the door open just incase you want to use the blow-dryer or something.”

“Thank you!” you called out from inside his closet. You grabbed a pair of tight black boxer briefs, a belt, and a pair of his black skinny jeans. You threw on one of his grey tank tops and finally a black Take Chances hoodie. Hoodies are the best for inconspicuously going braless. Making sure he was in the shower and not still getting undressed, you walked into the bathroom to quickly dry your hair.

With your hair dry and no make-up with you to actually put on, you were as ready as you could be. You laid down on Colby’s couch and waited for him to finish getting ready. Colby took a few minutes to dry his hair. He got dressed and joined you back out in the living room. He saw you curled up asleep, cuddling with one of his fuzzy grey pillows. He couldn’t help but just stand there and look at you. He saw that you were wearing a full outfit of his clothes and laughed, thinking about how fucking cute it was.

You heard Colby laugh and startled awake. “Oh, shit. Sorry. I think I dozed off.” You said, moving to sit up. “You ready to go?”

“Uh…yeah.” He answered, his cheeks turning slightly pink. “Y/n, we don’t actually have to go to the party. We can watch a movie, order food…I can even drive you home if you aren’t comfortable crashing here.”

You stood, trying to fully wake yourself up. “We told Mike we’d see him there, though.” You replied.

Colby walked up to you, taking in just how much he liked you wearing his clothes, and put his hands on your shoulders. “Mike is too drunk to remember who the fuck shows up to this party.” He laughed. “I know when I’m in situations that make me anxious, it’s worse when I’m tired. And I don’t want to put you through that.”

You felt bad. Plain and simple. You made a pouty face up at the beautiful, thoughtful boy. “But you wanted to go to the party. If I had just Ubered home, you’d be hanging out with your friends right now.”

Colby laughed, pulling you into a hug. *This feels nice* you thought to yourself 2 seconds after realizing you didn’t need to panic. You slowly lifted your arms up to wrap around his middle.

“Y/n, I couldn’t give two shits about going to a party. I wanted to spend time with you. I don’t really care where that happens.” He spilled a bit of his guts.

“I’m not good at this.” You blurted out, face tucked into Colby’s chest.

“You’re good at everything I’ve seen you do, Y/n. What don’t you think you’re good at?” Colby asked, kind of already knowing that you just felt nervous and awkward.

“A lot, actually.” You nervously laughed, “but I mean this.” You tightened your arms around him. “I’ve let exactly one jerkwad into my life and honestly? I never planned on letting that happen again. I had dreams, buddy. Dreams of becoming the crazy cat lady, but with Taking Back Sunday t shirts and a lot more eyeliner. I’m upset you’re making me reconsider my plans.”

Colby burst out laughing. “Hey, THIS” He said, pulling your face to look at him. “This can be whatever you need it to be. No one is going to rush you into anything. I’m not exactly the best at this either. I push people away and block people out. I didn’t have plans of becoming the neighborhood emo cat hoarder or anything, but honestly it sounds kind of nice.” He chuckled. His hand hadn’t left your face.

“Hey, my plans were great.” You couldn’t help but smile. You felt less and less anxious and it almost felt unreal. This boy seemed to be able to put you at ease.

“I do know that this feels right.” Colby continued. “I feel drawn to you. Everything about you. And I absolutely hate that I can’t seem to shut the fuck up right now and that I keep voluntarily putting myself out there, but I can see you get a little more comfortable every time I do it.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to your forehead, pulling back to then leave a kiss against your cheek. “That makes it worth it.”

You closed your eyes, for once just letting yourself be in the moment. You felt him kiss your other cheek. “You feel safe.” You whispered, keeping your eyes closed. *He’s going to realize you’re crazy* you thought to yourself.

“If I feel safe, then why won’t you look at me?” He calmly asked, you could feel his breath close to your face.

“I can.” You said, running through your usual internal monologue that keeps your anxiety manageable, your eyes still shut tight.

Colby softly laughed. He leaned forward and gently connected your lips. He saw your eyes pop open and heard you quietly gasp as you pulled back a bit from him. “I’m sorry” he went to say, worried that he had pushed you too far, but he was interrupted by your fingers covering his mouth.

“Shh.” you said, taking a deep breath. “My ex was an asshole. I know that now. I know it had nothing to do with me. But Colby…” your breath caught in your chest for a second. “He’s the only guy who ever kissed me. And he was horrible. And rough. And I hated it. So, I never kissed anyone else thinking it would be horrible…But you’re so gentle and sweet and I don’t know even know what to do. I’ve never…”

Colby’s mind was going a million miles an hour. He honestly had expected you to reject him and instead he had this beautiful, scared girl putting so much trust in him. He was mad at your ex, but he was proud of you. He interrupted your rambling by pulling your lips back to his. He was slow and soft. He let you set the pace. After a long moment, he pulled away. “Thank you for telling me about that. I know it’s not easy.” He kissed your forehead. “But, Y/n. That was perfect.” He pulled back, letting his hand catch yours, and started pulling you towards his room.

“What are you doing?” you asked, following behind him.

“We’re going to cuddle.” He said, turning back to you and giving you a sleepy smile. He pulled off his shirt and jeans and slipped a pair of sweatpants on. He turned to you, gently pressing his lips back to yours. His hands pulling up the bottom of the hoodie you had borrowed from him. “I’m always warm. If you sleep in this, you’re going to wake up sweating.” He laughed, pulling the hoodie over your head.

“I just showered.” You laughed. “I definitely don’t want to wake up sweaty all over again.”

You smiled up at Colby and slid your hands up his chest to rest loosely around his neck, pulling him into another kiss. His hands went to your hips and followed the belt to the belt buckle. “Aren’t you getting brave?” He teased, fully beaming on the inside that you had just initiated a kiss. He undid the buckle on the belt, and the pants button, letting the loose jeans fall around your ankles.

“I may or may not be wearing your boxers.” You laughed, leaning your forehead against Colby’s chest.

“I told you to wear whatever you wanted.” He pulled you into a quick tight embrace before dragging you over to the bed. He climbed into the bed and got under the covers, lifting them up for you to join him. He pulled you into his arms and pulled the blanket up over the both of you. He let you get comfortable, snuggling into his chest. “Do you feel anxious?” he asked.

“No” you answered, honestly.

“Good” he said, running his hand up and down one of your arms. “Y/n?”

“Yeah?” you replied.

“Sing something?” he requested. “I just want to hear you sing one more time before I fall asleep.”

You couldn’t help but smile. *This boy is fucking adorable* you thought to yourself before starting to quietly sing.

#colby brock #colby brock imagine #colby brock x reader #colby brock oneshot #colby brock fluff

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ upd8 2020-01-17

Alright, morningblogging yesterday’s 2020-01-17 upd8 to Homestuck^2 let’s go!  Spoiler-free again.  I kinda don’t want even the next chapter names image-spoiled above the cut anymore so I’m going to have to figure out WHAT to put above the cut in these liveblog posts for visual reinforcement... a unique silly icon?  Going back once I’m done with the upd8 and posting something non-spoilery but weird-looking out of context?

Eh, can’t be assed.  Just know that after this I’m going to pony up for the Patreon commentary and skim it for anything plot-useful to y’all (in a separate post).  Let’s get started.

Okay, what’s next:  Any bonuses?  Oh, none!  Phew.  Unless those are coming faster too and just staggered differently, which would mean I gotta overcome my irrational pre-Homestuck-reading anxiety even MORE often.  :T

No Homestuck you don’t GET to ask how my-- ah, right.  :P

(FYI, HS^2 has been good to my emotions so far, quite a balm for the epilogues, so once I START reading I’m usually fine; but after being hurt so badly how could I possibly convince my lizard brain to trust it until it’s right in front of me?  Seriously, just hearing that the upd8 has landed messes me up a bit until I come fix it by reading w/ y’all here.)

Okay, so whose feelings?  As much as I’ve been waiting for Jade, I hope this isn’t about Jade.

> ==>

Ah fuck, we’re finally with the Pursuit Crew.  Bracing myself.  That means we get to see probably sleeping Jade ( :C ), full-swing DaveKat (approving nod), the first canon onscreen look at masculine-mode Roxy (<3), a probably pretty pissed off Kanaya (possibly either the feelings target, the one Saying How Are Your Feelings, or both), and uh... did they drag Callie along?  Or leave her back there with her meta freakout?  Probably left her back there, but... hm.

Let me turn up the brightness on this screen to sear these next pages into my retinas.  (Also, it feels odd to still be using a four-person “==>” for these, although if Jade is still asleep the numbers might fit on both ends... :c )

> ==>

I don’t think Dad is in the spacefaring business, so this is probably one of Jake’s shittier spaceship designs.

> ==>

...well that’s a touch disturbing.  Is that a Jade-occupied bed or are those just pillows?

Oh what the fresh fanfic’y heck is this command.

> i enter.

Okay that’s great.  I got a kick out of that.

JADE [in calliope red]: the prince’s power grows.

--but that’s not.  That explains the narrative command text, it’s alt!callie talking through a still conked-out Jade.  Please let her wake up between speak-throughs, please tell me you’ve learned that trick??  I already know you’re gonna pull an “oh she was asleep pretty much all of those THREE YEARS OF TRAVEL” thing on me and that’s hard fucking enough to deal with.

KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST!

He’s actually using the full curse correctly, huh?

...These commands.  Guess part of the puzzle is how much alt!Callie is being typically morbid and how much she might actually be wising up enough to get a kick out of this.

> the knight of blood falls.

DAVE: dude can you chill for like even a single fucking second DAVE: also are you ok

Has CallieJade chilled for even a single second this entire trip??  Is he asking just if Karkat’s okay or Jade too???

--yeah I’m overblowing things out of nervousness.  Just wait and see a bit, boots.

Alt!Callie has at least learned to be more of a smartass:

> karkat is characteristically appreciative of the alarm call.

Shirt trade Karkat, nice.  And uh, Jade’s dress sure is a... dress.  Hm.

(Did alt!Callie alchemize adjustments to did she just luck out to have a red-symbol’d Bec belt and accent leggings?  I’d prefer the former, because as much as it would be acceptable within Homestuck proper, using the transition between the epilogues and this new-author’d work to just HAPPEN to give her a fitting outfit without an excuse via providence is kind of lazy.)

KARKAT: OH, PARDON THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR OVERREACTING A LITTLE WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND "POSSESSED JADE" BUSTS INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK AT 5 AM! KARKAT: NEXT TIME I’LL JUST PULL THE COVERS BACK AND LET HER CLIMB IN! JADE: i am uninterested in that scenario. KARKAT: GREAT! POSSESSED JADE ISN’T EVEN HORNY! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

...please let that mean he’s not used to her being possessed all the time and she wakes up sometimes.  PLEASE.

DAVE: but im pretty sure i locked that door JADE: i unlocked it with my mind. DAVE: fuck KARKAT: FANTASTIC. JADE: the prince’s powers are growing, but so are mine.

Dave, I’m pretty sure regular-ass no-Green-Sun Space powers can flip a few lock tumblers too.  (--though, I guess from context this was a Jakeship technolock.  Confirmation on the ship’s bad taste in design.  --I think I’m foggily remembering it said in the Epilogues that they took one of Jake’s ships just like Dirk did, too... man, being depressed so much by the Epilogues sure took a lot out of my ability to recall them decently.)

KARKAT: LIKE YOU DON’T FLOAT AROUND LIKE A CREEPY PIECE OF SHIT ALL DAY AS IT IS?

God DAMN IT she’s been asleep and possessed the whole fucking time.

> sleep is abandoned, coffee sought.

More obligatory DaveKat being cute, somehow only emphasized by the embarrassing glowing-with-power observer who doesn’t really get any of it.

Ah, here we go:

> the rogue is also awake.

Oh huh.  Cool!

Hero outfit, understated...  her his choice of heart-shades color-coded to stand out from Dave more to avoid further mistaken identity cases.  Works well!  (Holy shit I only JUST remembered at the end to go back and correctly gender Roxy as him, that was close. I blame the epilogues for a lack of visual reinforcement; I shouldn’t have as much trouble soon enough.  Seriously, I don’t remember ANYTHING without visual reinforcement, I think that’s why I remember so much of Homestuck proper so clearly.)

KARKAT: OH SHIT, THERE SHE IS! I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR HER FOLLOW US! ROXY: sometimes a girls just got to get her drift on i guess ROXY: it be like that

ilu roxy.

I missed Roxy so much, you guys.  I need more of him remarking on all this crazy shit if I’m gonna stay sane though all this.  (And I need more of him and AWAKE JADE kicking ass independently or together if I’m going to continue to believe there’s justice in the world.)

> ==>

We rarely saw Rose drinking anything but the rare coffee in canon, but I think Kanaya would have gotten her plenty into tea, yes.  Or at the very least, wanting the aesthetic of drinking tea with Kanaya would have gotten Rose into tea even if it never crossed Kanaya’s mind to try the stuff.

ROXY: well i mean who knows what she drinks now ROXY: dirk probs tossed the coffee machine out the space window right away ROXY: dude doesnt "believe" in "substances" > the prince is contemplated for a moment in silence.

FUCK, Dirk can see the narrative all the way out here???  No wonder alt!Callie’s forced to have possession turned on 24/7.  That’s fucking disappointing.  How the hell are we going to get any proper Jade time with THAT hanging over our heads?  She’d only be able to do anything when Dirk’s knocked out, and maybe not even THEN!

I was virtually promised more of actual non-asleep Jade getting shit done in HS^2.  Now there’s an even longer wait on it than I expected.  This sucks.

(EDIT: BOY did I misread that link line. Thinking “is contemplated” meant is sitting contemplating, when it meant "is being contemplated by everyone here". That was dumb of me.)

*clicks that next link*

Oh my goodness, Roxy joined the Bird Hair Crew.  It makes him look like a fucking asshole but I kind of love it.

KARKAT: IS THERE MILK?

I can’t believe Karkat is okay with drinking milk.  --yes, culturally Trolls are more comfortable with animal excretions than we are, but you would’ve thought years of railing against Equius would have purged any tolerance the idea of milk from his psyche.

I guess Dave introduced him to cereal, and it was all over from there.

DAVE: this is more like a castle DAVE: a castle of idk DAVE: twenty something ennui

Sounds like a relatable mood.  Especially considering Dirk probably decided to conquer reality out of almost nothing but twenty-something ennui.

Alright.  You aren’t going to turn Kanaya into an alcoholic or anything on us are you?

> the knight of time seeks a sylph...

--this is the shittiest shipboard starship aesthetic.

> ...and finds her, momentarily.

WOW that looks fucking depressed.  :(

> ==>

...okay you know what?  Never mind.  That outfit has wrapped straight back around into Trying Too Hard and is now hilarious.

DAVE: you ever feel like our whole lives are eventually gonna end up like this DAVE: just blasting through space on a sweeps long journey to ""somewhere"" chasing after or running from some vague enemy thats sometimes a god modded pet dog and sometimes your dad DAVE: without the faintest fucking idea of whats going to happen when we get there DAVE: thats a little specific but you know what i mean

Why do you think the epilogues upset us so much?  We thought we’d won free of that bullshit.

> ==>

Oh jesus christ that’s the most depressingly sad I’ve ever seen Kanaya drawn.  :C

--Karkat got you to watch Serendipity?  That’s amazing, Dave.

KANAYA: You Arent Reminding Me Of Her As I Rarely Think Of Anything Else KANAYA: I Close My Eyes And I See Her KANAYA: I Keep Them Open And I See Her

Fuck.

Y’know how little showing these two in love and actually HAPPY together we’ve seen in this entire comic and its subworks?  Despite them having spent at least a few happy years together we only saw in tiny screenclips?  And how Candy alluded super hard that they most likely couldn’t get that in this real timeline where shit’s going down?

Seriously, FUCK.  You could at least pretend to give us some hope, here.

Oh no, don’t ask for the nursery story, Dave.  Unless it turns out to be a funny one or a Rose twist on an old story or something.  Which it probably is, I should stop worrying.

> ==>

KANAYA: Oh Its A Wriggler Story About A Young Prince And The Beloved Flower He Loved And Lost DAVE: flower DAVE: like a plant KANAYA: Its A Fairytale Dave DAVE: right KANAYA: A Singular Wild Rose He Failed To Cherish When He Had Her KANAYA: And His Journey Of Discovering What She Meant To Him All Along KANAYA: Culminating In A New Quest To Find Her And Win Her Back

Dirk you PIECE OF SHIT did you rewrite the narrative of the fucking STORIES SHE TOLD CHILDREN?!??  Does the fact that alt!Callie is only in the present mean he can rewrite ANY past event we didn’t literally SEE???  FUCK you.  Seriously fuck all of this.

Please tell me she was kidding just then, or realizes there’s fucking something wrong with what she’s saying and getting angry or.

(EDIT: shoutyourporpoise replied: "Hey, idk If you picked up on this, but the 'nursery story' Rose told to the wigglers is just The Little Prince, which is maybe a BIT early for them to read, but I don't think that's a case of Dirk changing the narrative; its just Rose being Too Adult as usual." Oh, damn, I didn't even CATCH that it was that story. That makes all of this a lot more forgivable, even if pretty unforgivably leaning into the fiction that Dirk used to brainwash and kidnap her. Maybe that's exactly why it worked -- fiction, a story so blazed into the public consciousness? Hm. Thanks, shoutyourporpoise.)

KANAYA: But In A Way I Feel As If It Is the Greater Universe Trying To Tell Me Something

Mother fuck I’m even going to have to see our protagonists warped by Dirk when they’re ostensibly FULLY SHIELDED aren’t I.  There’s only so much of that I would be able to take, you know.

KANAYA: It May Simply Stem From My Longing To See Her Again And How Much Is Indicative Of Something More Sinister KANAYA: She Is A Goddess Of Light And The Only Of Her Kind We Know Is Alive After All KANAYA: Maybe Shes Wrested Dominion Of The Entire Concept In All Its Appearances Within This Frame Of Reference

Hm.  Well, it being a product of Rose’s ascension instead of Dirk’s is possibly a more charitable take, with Ultimate Rose projecting the delusion enforced on her backward, visible to past Rose’s Sight when she isn’t paying attention and thus paving the way for Dirk to paradoxically exploit that “ideal” as something Lighty and Important and “Perfect”.  I still don’t fucking like it though.

> ==>

DAVE: sorry i know you say you got your badass monster powers but kanaya you look tired as hell DAVE: not that im tryna psyche you or whatever but youre waxing poetic in the dark which i guess is maybe on brand but still

Yyyep.

DAVE: unless terezi is lurking in the vents somewhere and now that i bring that up its actually not out of the question so im kind of gonna be thinking about that one for a while

Pffff.

DAVE: youre the only person i know whos still basically the same as when i met you

--Which is kind of going to have to change, right?  She’s got some other cosmic purpose ready to change her a little more than she changed pre-human-troll-meetup, you’d think.

> ==>

Cute as hell.

> ==>

KANAYA: How Are Your Feelings

There’s the title drop.  I’d think Dave’s doing pretty well, considering?  Still fucked over by Dirk betraying and tricking Rose away who he’s been close with all his life, but.

> ==>

DAVE: except sometimes your best friend disappears and your other best friend goes into a ghost coma and your third best friend fucks off to space with your dad DAVE: the dude youve spent the last 7 years convincing yourself isnt an egomaniacal anime villain DAVE: and who isnt actually lying in wait to completely decimate your life and your emotions and shit

Ah... yeah.  A little worse than my casual list, huh?  Forgot that Jade vanishing into a possession-coma for THREE FUCKING YEARS is going to be hard on people inside the comic too, fuck.

DAVE: maybe it was naive to think that a bunch of twenty something trauma victims could run a society

I was honestly surprised they TRIED to run society at all.  Jasp even just highlighted a big reason why not in the bonuses.

DAVE: cool how earth c existed for centuries then we show up and manage to ruin society in seven fucking years

:(

Well, the trolls got THEIR lesson on why they didn’t deserve to rule over their new universe like gods; I guess some of y’all needed that lesson too?

DAVE: every serious conversation i have inevitably falls apart into riffing on a casual acquaintances ass

True.

Dammit, Dave didn’t feel like he could just be Some Guy even on Earth C.  :(

> ==>

...don’t think I’ve forgotten that nursery story, though.  I don’t want to think that it was something that ACTUALLY past happened, especially not without manipulation.  Like maybe past Rose was foreseeing the false purpose that Dirk wrote for her or the like, a cooperative misunderstanding between the two instead of Dirk or Rose literally reaching back in time.

> meanwhile...

KARKAT: WAIT, WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN ASKING? HE’S OBVIOUSLY NOT FINE. KARKAT: ARE ANY OF US? ARE YOU? ROXY: not rly KARKAT: EXACTLY.

:(

--Oh right.  I remember that Callie and Roxy were going reasonably steady in Meat even though it was only alluded to, she didn’t freak out and stay awol or what have you.  That’s good to remember.  But it means Roxy deliberately left her behind to go on this dangerous quest, for years.  :C

KARKAT: KANAYA BARELY EVEN TALKS, CALLIOPE WON’T LEAVE THEIR CABIN, JADE JUST FLOATS AROUND LIKE A CREEPY BALLOON THAT’S MOSTLY MADE OF HAIR.

Oh, SHIT.  I should have read one line further.  They DID bring her.  Alt!Callie being here too must really FUCK with her.  ...maybe she can actually learn to accept that alternate way her life might’ve played out, though?

KARKAT: THE REALLY FUCKED UP THING IS I MIGHT BE THE MOST OKAY OUT OF ALL OF US, WHICH IS HOW YOU KNOW SHIT HAS REALLY GONE GLOBES UP.

Quite true.

ROXY: ur kinda an intense dude anybody ever tell u that KARKAT: NO.

Pff.

> ==>

KARKAT: AGAINST PRETTY MUCH ALL ODDS, AND DESPITE ME NOT DESERVING ANY OF IT, I ENDED UP GETTING PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING I WANTED. KARKAT: OVER AND OVER AGAIN. KARKAT: SOMETIMES IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE WHATEVER SLATHERING MONSTROSITY OF A COSMIC HELLBEAST THAT PUT ALL THIS SHIT INTO MOTION...ACTUALLY LIKES ME?

Well, if you want to blame Lord English for instance... we never saw Caliborn and Karkat interact much, but the parallels between the two were drawn so severely that Caliborn was basically the idealized, multiverse-threatening Ultimate Kismesis that he’d always dreamed of.  And operated against him without him even ever quite realizing it.

If a level of “respect” went from Caliborn to Karkat, too, from his Lord-Englishy vision nigh-omnipresent, then this outcome isn’t very surprising at all.

> ==>

(I don’t quite feel I get why Roxy shifted to this exasperated-Dave expression, but I get logically that he’d been waiting for Karkat to make a breakfast choice... Homestuck proper rarely pulled a “last line said corresponds to next-panel’s expression” without either leaving the conversation blank or having the NEXT lines of the conversation reinforce it, to prevent this inelegant misunderstanding.  Andrew was really damned talented in getting his point across visually, in that regard.  Just like, that careful visual intent delivery.)

Alright, I guess that’s it for this short upd8!  Meeting the pursuit crew was both more and less difficult than I expected.  Hopefully I get desensitized a bit as the characters continue to feel semi-almost-sorta-fine.

I have NO idea how this group is gonna work as a proper crew when we get to whatever weird other-players’ session this shit is going down in, though.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots #spoiler #spoilers #shoutyourporpoise

[retvenkos]

“is this considered a summer fling?”

STRAP YOURSELVES IN, FOLKS, BECAUSE TODAY WE ARE TALKING ABOUT ENDLESS SUMMER AND BEING DIEGO ORTIZ SOTO’S SIBLING AND HAVING A NOT-SO-SECRET CRUSH ON CRAIG HSIAO...

so let’s address the obvious

diego does not have the greatest relationship with his family, so how do you factor in?

well, you are diego’s twin, and so, naturally, there is a deeper understanding between the two of you, and there is no way you can keep secrets from eachother

and if you do, the other is quick to find out

which quickly escalates to an argument (that mostly involves yelling) in spanish

it’s one of the few ways diego can posture to anyone

and even though the two of you are twins, that does not mean you are the same

diego is definitely the more happy-go-lucky one

which, don’t get me wrong, doesn’t mean you aren’t an optimist, but times are hard for dreamers

you are also the more plucky, corageous one out of the two of you

which means you get into more sticky situations because you are determined

if there is a will, there’s a way, and while diego is the flexible one, you do not budge on what you believe is true

which is where diego comes in to save you from yourself

but your courage is also your undoing since you have no fear over things you should definitely fear

but diego is always there to save you and make sure you don’t die

are you a little co-dependent? maybe. or maybe you just really love your family

and let’s be honest - when you first meet our resident uber jock™, craig, you’re not impressed

plenty of boys can play football, but how many can get us out if this mess?

to which he scoffs at

“my skills are gonna save your life one day, i’d start being nice now.”

“god forbid that day ever come.”

and it’s a bit of a cliche, enemies to lovers type of crush, but you never really hated him, so you hate it when diego claims that’s what it is

“you had a crush on sean, so i wouldn’t rib at me for my tastes.”

“that’s a lie, i have class.”

“so then which boy was it? jake?”

and he’s silent and there’s a blush on his cheek

“dios mio, that was a joke!”

you’re screaming

“you have terrible taste too!”

“not as bad as you!”

and craig, bless his soul, is oblivious

especially when it comes to the fact that he likes you

zahra is the one who hits him over the head and tells him he’s being an idiot and he’s in love

“like hell, i am!”

and zahra wishes the ground would open up and scream at him because she is so done with his stupid  p i n i n g

and to be honest, no one knows about either crush for a long time

diego can read you like a book, but he’s also not dumb, so he doesn’t hint at it

and you don’t really instigate bickering with craig - you like to watch him from afar

because yeah, you have courage, but you’re not reckless

diego, of course, would disagree.

and everyone just assumes that craig is agressive and like that 24/7

and zahra could care less

there are other ships to keep an eye on

like the obvious heart-eyes sean keeps giving jake

and the teasing that jake does to sean

just KISS already!

during the vaanti attack on the celestial, craig saved your life

and he wasn’t even cocky about it - just saddened at the people you had lost

how easily could it have been him?

and you had thanked him breathlessly in the moment, but once you had gotten sucked through the portal gun without your brother, you were broken

he wasn’t  dead

he couldn’t be

and the rest of the group tried to skirt around the subject of diego

but you could see in their eyes that they thought he was dead

and it  e n r a g e d  you

and so you break off from the group and they all watch you go, not knowing what to do

so craig starts to go, but they stop him because ‘that’s not what you need right now.’

“i don’t see anyone else volunteering.”

and zahra says to let him go

and when he finds you, you’re pushing back tears

“let me guess, sean wants the group to move out?”

“no, we’re gonna stay here for a little while. find out as much as we can.”

“course, so we can all get off this island, right?”

“you don’t want to?”

“not without my  b r o t h e r.”

and he sighs and sits down next to you

“we’ll save him.”

“HOW?”

and your voice is loud, and rough, and it hurts

“i already saved one of you. looks like you needed my football skills after all.”

but his voice is soft and his eyes are careful

“if you promise me this, you can’t go back on it.”

“i won’t leave this hellscape till we find him.”

and damn if he doesn’t want to kiss you right then

but he pulls away

and things don’t magically fix right then

it takes time

and now you two are on the same team

and you save him

again

and again

and then he saves you

again

and again

and maybe it’s a bit of a competition between the two of you

but it’s nice

and whenever you smile about it, craig’s heart does a little flip

and when you find your brother, you hold him tight

and later that night, when diego is talking to everyone else, you head over to craig and find your comfortable place at his side

and the two of you sit there in silence because your gratitude is palpable and beyond words. you just watch the rest of your friends from a distance, side by side

“can i kiss you?”

and he’s startled by your words and turns to face you. and for some reason he can’t speak.

so he nods.

and your lips crash onto his

and you don’t know why you never did so sooner because it’s everything you ever wanted it to be

and when you break apart, craig has a smirk on his face

“how were my skills?”

and you roll your eyes but it doesn’t stop you from kissing him again

AND FLUF ENSUES.

#choices stories you play #choices #endless summer #choices endless summer #diego ortiz soto #craig hsiao #x reader #reader insert #imagine #headcanons #would include #crush #craighsiaoheadcanons #diegosotoheadcanons

[itsdaniclayton]

Forget regret

@johnzocallaghan‘s prompt was “Jake and Amy talk about their pining days (inspired by tags from @juliadorable)” and that’s not wxactly what’s going on here but it’s close enough.

This is the cheesiest, fluffiest thing I’ve ever written so beware. Also a reminder that I’m taking prompts, only that I’m super slow writing so yeah.

TItle from Rent (4/5 fics titled with lyrics from musicals why am I like this)

Read on Ao3

“Babe?”

“Huh?”

“What are you thinking about?”

It’s the first day in about a month that they both have off - work has been crazy for the two of them - so it was not hard for Jake to convince her to have a lazy day in. The fact that she was awakened by a crash of thunder and heavy rain against the window of their room worked in his favor. They spent most of the morning in bed, Amy first doing that day’s crossword puzzle and then working on the ‘Christmas’ binder (which is currently almost as big as the wedding binder - turns out that spending the holiday with the Santiagos, at her parents’ insistence, needs thorough and careful planning, especially when it comes to getting presents for everyone), Jake playing Kwazy Cupcakes and watching videos of screaming animals in low volume so as not to annoy her. For lunch they had leftovers, which didn’t taste half as good as when they ordered the meal the previous night, but neither of them could be bothered to cook, so there were no complaints.

They’re on the couch now, the pouring rain reducing the view out of the window to mere inches, Jake’s head on Amy’s lap, a random rom-com playing on the TV. They only chose to watch this particular movie because it was the first thing that popped up when they opened Netflix. Neither of them wanted to repeat what happened the last time they had decided to watch something - they spent the two hours they would have used for the movie going through all the titles available and choosing what to watch (and going to bed without actually watching something). Five minutes into the movie she was already bored (rom-coms aren’t really her thing), but a quick glance at Jake was enough to know that he was enjoying it, or at least that it had his attention. She decided to busy herself making mental notes of everything she would need to add to the binder, her fingers running slowly through Jake’s curls.

At some point, she noticed, he turned away from the TV and fixed his eyes on the ceiling. She knows her husband well enough to know when there is something on his mind, so she stayed silent, waiting for the moment when he’s ready to talk. But it's been almost an hour and his attention hasn’t gone back to the movie.

“What?” he asks, rolling so that he’s lying on his back and looking up at her with a hint of a frown.

Her free hand finds its way to his chest, where she subconsciously begins to trace random patterns. “What are you thinking about?” she repeats, her voice soft, encouraging.

He puts a hand over hers and squeezes it lightly, a small smile appearing on her face when she notices his wedding ring glistening with the light coming from the TV. They’ve been married for months but she’s still not used to the feeling of seeing the ring on his finger, and the way her stomach jumps when she does so. “Us.”

“Us?” she echoes, her eyebrows raised in puzzlement.

“Yeah, the movie got me thinking…” he trails off, turning his face to the TV but going back to his previous position only a moment later. “Watching it from the outside, it seems really stupid that the guy won’t tell the lady how he feels and pine for her instead, especially because it’s obvious that she likes him back.”

“There wouldn’t be a movie then,” she says, turning her attention to the TV only to see the main characters making out under the rain while dreamy music plays in the background. That’s the thing with rom-coms - from the moment the movie begins you know how it is going to end. “Wait,” she adds a moment later, her eyes returning to him. “What does that have to do with us?”

“Really, Ames?” he chuckles. “That’s literally us before we got together - liking each other and being too dumb to do something about it.” He sits up and turns to face her, his hair an adorable, messy fluff. “We could have gotten together, like, a year before we did.”

“But you did something about it.” She moves closer to him until their thighs touch and rests her head on his shoulder, taking his hand in hers and giving it a little squeeze. “Before you went undercover.”

“Exactly, the worst possible moment. If I had said something before-”

“I think it was a good thing that we weren’t together back then.”

A frown forms on his face “What? Why?”

Amy sighs, her eyes fixed on their intertwined fingers. “You would have still gone undercover.” She gives his hand a little squeeze, his wedding ring hard against her skin. “It would have been yet another time that we’d be apart for a long time. We’ve already gone through too many of those.”

“That’s fair,” he says, leaning to place a kiss on her hair.

“It’s actually my fault we didn’t get together sooner,” she adds a moment later. “I should have broken up with Teddy long before I did. I guess I was just… scared? I didn’t want to admit to myself that I liked you.”

“Good old Teddy dropped that bomb on me,” he chuckles. “Now that was a fun trip.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Okay, but, if you didn’t know you liked me it technically doesn’t count as being stupid,” he points out, freeing his hand and wrapping that arm around her shoulders. She has a better view of his face from this position, and the way his lips are slightly curved makes her insides fuzzy. She really does love this man more than anything in the world. “Being stupid is when you don’t act on your very obvious feelings - obvious to yourself and to everyone around you. Everyone knew I liked you.”

“Subtlety is not your strong point, babe,” she says with a smirk.

He brings his free hand to his chest in mock offence. “Hey! I can be subtle!”

“It’s not a bad thing!” she’s quick to add, smiling widely now. “It’s just a fact. I do notice the way you look at me when we’re at work and I go up to the bullpen, you know.”

“Well, of course you do. I don’t try to hide it. I don’t have to hide it because we’re married, and if I wanna smile at my amazing beautiful wife when I see her, I can do it.”

She leans forward and presses his lips against his in a soft, sweet kiss. When she wants to return to her previous position, though, his hands suddenly on her waist won’t let her, and he pulls her forward until his back meets the couch, Amy on top of him. She needs to adjust herself in order to be comfortable, and when she does, she rests her head on his chest.

“Back to the being stupid thing,” he begins after a moment, a hand slowly moving up and down her back, “you didn’t-”

“You weren’t stupid either. You tried to move on, dated someone else, broke up - it’s only natural that you didn’t want to jump into a relationship so soon after that.”

He presses a kiss on her forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment. “Well, I do feel stupid. After I got over my relationship with Sophia, you were all I could think about. I wanted to be with you so badly but I was too stupid to do anything about it, and I just… I feel like we’ve wasted so much time.”

She lifts her head so that she’s facing him, her eyes fixed on his. “Maybe we did, but I’m glad things happened the way they did. If they hadn’t, we wouldn’t be where we are now. I think we got together in a moment when we both were ready to be in a relationship. If it had happened before, who knows, maybe we wouldn’t have lasted more than a couple of months.” She brings the hand that she’s not using to prop her head on to his face, her thumb stroking his cheek softly.

“You think?”

She nods, leaning forward to brush her lips against his. “Seeing how things worked out for us, I can safely say that it’s a good thing that we didn’t rush into anything.”

“We had sex on our first official date.”

She rolls her eyes, her lips pressed so as to keep herself from smiling. “Do you regret that?”

“Are you kidding me? Absolutely not.”

She chuckles and presses her lips against his once more. “Good. And, you know, it might have taken us some time to get together, but we have our entire lives to make up for it.”

“I love you so much, Ames.” His voice is low, his gaze filled with affection. His lips are slightly curved in a soft smile that warms up her insides and makes her think that she’s the luckiest person in the world.

“I love you so much too.”

The hand on her back pulls her closer to him, and her arms move around him, her head buried in the crook of his neck. She needs to stop herself from placing light kisses on his skin - and fails to do it a couple of times. She can feel the rise and fall of his chest with his breathing, slow and steady. She meant what she said - they have the rest of their lives ahead of them and she’s determined to make the most of every single day.

#brooklyn nine nine #jake x amy #peraltiago #b99 #my writing

[lovebunnie]

Do all the asks coward

1. what does your wallet look like?

-i got it as a present from my uncle for christmas and its really expensive but also so ugly im sorry uncle tom. its like that ‘southern fashion’ bullshit that white MAGA moms wear. but it was better than my old wallet, which looks like this and i got when i was 12:

2. favorite color?

- baby pinnk

3. do you own a pride flag, or more than one?

-heres the thing: my parents basically know im not straight but i havent told them. my brother has thought i was a lesbian since freshman year, i have a small pride pin on my backpack, ive never been on a date, its complicated. but no, i dont have one. maybe one day, hopefully.

4. describe your favorite outfit

-black pants, platform doc martens, hoodie under a jean jacket, one clip on earring, and holding my crushes hand :]

5. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter, and what’d she do?

-okay so theres this girl in my theatre class who is really cute, and she put her head on my shoulder and shes pagan so she drew a little sigil on my arm that means “safe and homely” so like :)))))))))))))

6. do you use nail polish?

-i do, i mostly do black tho

7. do you keep organized?

-absolutely. i have things online filed accordingly, i pick out my outfits the day before, my binders are neat, i learned how to army fold my shirts, i keep my shit CLEAN

8. ever take naps?

-only accidentally. ill be laying in bed watching youtube and next thing you know my autoplay has me watching a markiplier video even tho i dont like him and its 4 hours later

9. who was your first crush?

-idk if this is a real person or not so ill do both. my first fake person crush was either troy from high school musical or frankie stein from monster high. and my first real crush was on a boy named dominic in elementary school. i told him i liked him at the end of 5th grade because i thought i was switching schools but then i didnt and we never spoke again.

10. what are your crush tendencies? fall hard or often?

-both both both. i am the worst with crushes. i have crushes all the time because im romantic and a fucking fool. i have 3 crushes off the top of my head rn and i like them all for different reasons. thats not to say that i want to date them, but its that i like them a lot and i kinda wanna kiss their cheek or hold their hand idk

11. describe your ideal day

-play overwatch with my best friend (u gonble >:) ) then hang out with my cat, go get a smoothie, buy some cool shoes or something, take a shower and be asleep by 9 :,)

12. describe your ideal date

-i have stated that build a bear is an amazing first date and im NOT BACKING DOWN. ITS CUTE AS FUCK AND ILL ACCEPT NOTHING LESS!!

13. whats your favorite food?

-either sushi or strawberries :3c

14. who do you feel most comfortable around?

-my theatre class, people from camp, and gobble

15. what is your favorite compliment to receive?

-i dont have a favorite, any and all are going to make my face go red so i have to cover it and maybe make me cry

16. did you/do you like highschool?

-the first 3 years fucking sucked but senior year has been amazing so far. mostly because i just kinda stopped giving a fuck but its amazing

17. favorite animal?

-i think its cats now. i really like cats

18. do you like your name?

-eh, its okay. its pretty but also it seems like there are 60 million fucking people named grace and its so annoying. i wish it was something more unique idk

19. what kind of weather is your favorite?

-a light rain. no swinging trees or thunder, just lots of rain. its nice to stay inside and feel secure

20. do you believe in horoscopes?

-absolutely not. but theyre fun if you like them

21. tell us about your music taste

-its horrific. to sum it up, my two favorite musicians are the gorillaz and frank sinatra. take from that what you will

22. have you had your first kiss? if so, what was it like?

-i havent had my first kiss yet. gonna be honest, i felt like i was going to, a few times at camp and recently when classes ended. but yeah, nothing yet

23. did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid?

-i went thro cycles of favorites. but one ive had for years is a plush shadow the hedgehog from universal studios i got when i was 6. i used to carry him around, even to a pool once

24. what time do you usually wake up and go to bed?

-if you know me, you know i go to bed ridiculously early. i usually get tried at around 6pm and fall asleep between 7:45 and 8:30. and i always wake up before 6 am. i havent slept past 6 am continuously since the end of junior year. please help me

25. what dream trip would you take with your wife?

-maybe to go explore new york, just the two of us that sounds like fun :]

26. do you have any pets?

-i have 2 dogs and a cat. the family owns the dogs but that cat is mine

27. what pair of underwear is your favorite?

-uhhhhhhhhhhh i have some with rainbows that are cool? i dont have favorites, none of them are cute anyway

28. what makes you smile?

-funny jokes make me smile real hard, and if you compliment me at the right time, i kind of pull my legs up and hide my face? its cute and charming i promise

29. what makes you feel heavy?

-in both the physical and metaphorical sense, eating bread

30. what makes you feel better?

-watching bo burnham always makes me feel better, hes my go to whenever im really depressed

31. how do you show your love?

-i show my love in everything i do. everything i do is for love, i love love so much its sickening

32. when is it time to get a haircut?

-whenever u want to lol?

33. where would you live if you could live anywhere?

-maybe san francisco, its beautiful and i love the city

34. do your friends and family take good care of you?

-as much as i allow them to. sometimes i go days without communicating and i know thats annoying but my friends put up with it (they shouldnt have to, i know) and my family is okay. its cliche to say, but they honestly dont understand what im going thro alot of the times, esp with my anxiety and shit

35. have you always used the labels you use now?

-back in the beginning of highschool, i used they/them pronouns and identified as asexual/aromantic. eventually, it didnt feel right, so i know identify as cis and bisexual and that feels right to me

36. what makes you laugh?

-my friends, when people shit talk gobble and i in overwatch even tho???? we didnt know him?????? and the mcelroys always get me

37. who is your favorite fictional character?

-too many options, see list here

38. who do yo admire?

-my father when hes not threatening to throw my phone into a fucking lake and my friends for putting up with me

39. describe yourself in three words

-i am baby

40. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 

-usually about 45 min, more or less as each day goes

41. what do you wish you could tell your younger self?

-listen: STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN, BE YOURSELF. STOP HIDING AND BEING SCARED OF YOURSELF, BE GENUINE!!!!

42. what would you do if you win the lottery?

-get my parents settled, see about other family members, and then distribute the money to charities accordingly, starting with flint and getting them water

43. would you call yourself a romantic?

-yes

44. what is your gayest childhood memory?

-my mom had cosmos magazines

45. do you have tattoos or want any?

-i dont have any tattoos but ive been obsessed with them since the 6th grade. id love to get tattoos, i just dont know what or where and also im afraid of pain

46. whats your worst habit?

-either biting my thumbs, starving myself, or ghosting my friends. prob ghosting my friends

47. what are you proud of?

-i guess coming out of my shell finally? idk, i actually have friends now and it feels amazing tbh. im in 5 group chats now. i havent been in a group chat since 6th grade. :))))))

48. did you know that youre actually a gift to the world, for real?

-hi i love you?

49. whats your favorite memory?

-there are so so many. but what comes to mind first is our dance night at camp where we all stood outside and i finally gave ian my tumblr and we all ran inside to dance to mr. brightside then ran outside again and we requested nightcore and rivers was fucking dancing their hearts out and we all sang along and im going to crying just typing this out

50. do you have a sweet tooth?

-i guess so. too much makes me feel like shit but i do really enjoy smarties

51. what do you like most about yourself?

-this is dumb, but my sense of style. since i got a job ive been wearing shit i actually like and its amazing. ill admit i have cool clothes

52. what makes you fall for a girl?

-besides acknowledging me, probably getting to know me and not like, putting me on a pedestal. idk its weird, ive met a lot of people this year who like to place me so high it feels like i cant make a mistake around them without disappointing them. idk, i want someone to call me out on my bullshit instead of assuring me im okay. i want to know what i do wrong so i can fix it

53. make a recommendation

-for what? uhh okay for music, listen to ‘clay pigeons’ by michael cera (yes i know michael cera) and for television, watch bojack horseman and for movies, watch the docuseries called ‘7 days out’ on netflix

54. have you ever had your heart broken?

-yeah, when i broke up with maddy because we werent ready to date. i cared and continue to care about her and i didnt want to hurt her but i knew its what we both needed. its what i needed, atleast. and i cant be a good girlfriend if i feel like im doing badly. but also ive had friends break my heart and family break my heart. but im okay now, this heart is ready to be broken again

55. when do you feel most yourself?

-def when i was at camp, that place is magical in the way it allows you to be yourself. but also when i talk to gobble because hes my best friend and when im at college, we can talk more and its gonna be dope as shit

56. name a gorgeous celeb

-jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal 

57. what are some of your favorite songs this week?

-fake happy by paramore, im not okay (i promise) by my chemical romance, tomorrow comes today by gorillaz

58. tell us 2 or your biggest hopes and fears

-biggest hopes: i publish a book someday & i get a job doing something i love

-biggest fears: i end up homeless and broke & something horrific happens in college

59. what flavor chapstick/lipbalm is the best?

-raspberry i guess

60. are you okay?

-i answered a lot more honestly then i shouldve for some of these and i start new classes tomorrow so im feeling really anxious so im doing alright i guess.

gobble you test me but i do love you

#g0bbleb0ners #that took 90 minutes #also i got kinda real here.... ://////// #whatever no one reads these things anyway

[pixiealtaira]

Dragged Kicking and Screaming  ( 21/ 22)

Title: Dragged Kicking and Screaming  

Or How Burt Hummel Mashed the Hummels and Hudsons Into One Functioning Family.

Characters(s): Kurt, Burt, Carole, Finn, with short appearances by the New Directions guys and various ops who mostly take up space. Rating: PG13 Summary: Somehow the Hummel household and the Hudson household had to come together…

Chapter One  Chapter Two

Chapter three  Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter 6

Chapter seven Chapter 8

Chapter Nine Chapter Ten

Chapter eleven Chapter twelve  Chapter thirteen  Chapter fourteen

Chapter fifteen Chapter sixteen Chapter seventeen

Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20

21.

Burt leaned back in his chair and watched.  Kurt was writing and Burt was sure he’d have everything that was mentioned written down before Finn was back in the conversation.  He waited a few minutes, until Kurt had stopped writing and Finn wasn’t looking like he was thinking so hard anymore before continuing on with the family meeting.

“Before we leave holidays behind,” Burt said. “Are there any other big things that are done every year?”

“Like our trip to the Hot Air Balloon Festival?” Kurt asked.

“Yes.” Burt said.

“Well, the last week of July with Aunt Mildred.” Kurt said with a sigh. “On the bright note…two of her boys were supposed to graduate this year…finally. Then there is the Hummel sledding thing that hopefully will be too far away to go to this year.”

“Now Kurt,” Burt said.

“Dad, last year at Aunt Mildred’s Wayne tied me to a tree and threw golf balls at me…which I was somehow supposed to deflect with my mind…because Wally convinced him I had magical powers.”

Finn laughed. “That sounds similar to what Jack and my cousin Amber’s little boy did to Amber’s little girl.”

“And they are how old?” Kurt said.

“I think like five and six?  Amber’s kids have that bright red hair…remember?  And she has that baby that is freaky because it just stares at you like it is judging you.”

“Ok…Finn, my cousins are all older than me.  Granted Trent is just a bit over half a year older, but still.  Oh and it is Wayne and Wally who are supposed to graduate this year. Wayne was held back two years and Wally one.  Trent was held back too, but he was held back at Kindergarten time, so he is the same grade as we are.”

“Oh.”

Kurt nodded.

“I also want to make hunting season next year.” Burt said. “Lou said he missed us this year and he has a new bow for you.  He’ll bring it by during Christmas break.”

Kurt smiled.

“Kurt goes hunting?” Finn said.

Kurt nodded. “I go bow hunting with my dad’s cousin Lou pretty much every year and I go with Dad and Hank with the guns every year. Last year I got grouse and  two pheasants…we didn’t try for anything bigger. We didn’t get out this year at all.”

“That’s not fair!” Finn yelled.

“I’ll take you next year if you pass hunter’s ed…including the bow course if you think you want to try the bows.”

“You have to go to school for it?” Finn whined.

“Yes.” Burt said.

“Finn, anyone with a Hunting License in this state had to take Hunter’s Ed…and they passed.  I’m sure you could manage.” Kurt said rolling his eyes. “We do the Car Show and Hot Air Balloon Festival and either the Monster trucks or a demolition derby. Oh and we usually manage a race.”

Burt nodded. “Add in Hank’s Birthday bash and super bowl party and Wade’s summer fling BBQ and Winter Rally Night and Jake’s Fall festival.”

“I know you missed Jake’s Festival but I went and helped with the Pumpkin Patch. Oh, and Robbie hosted a pumpkin carving party this year that they plan on making an every year thing.”

“That’s good…that boy has been trying to find a party to host for a while.” Burt said.

“So Finn?  Are there any other big things you do?”

“Mom’s family has a summer campout thing?” Finn said. “Uncle Bobby finds us cabins somewhere by a lake and we all swim and play games and stuff.  It is usually in July, the week after the fourth. It is all week long but sometimes we don’t stay all week. Last year I went to that football camp instead for more than half of it.”

Burt nodded and pointed at the paper for Kurt to write it down.

“Oh…Puck and I have a weekend gaming marathon the first weekend in August. Most of the time it is just us…even though sometimes that makes people mad.”

Burt nodded again. “If you think of any others come tell me.  Carole…do you have anything to add.”

“No. I’m going to go back to bed…my head aches.”

“No, not quite yet,” Burt said smiling. “We need to discuss Finn and driving.”

“No. We don’t.  He drives the truck and that is that.  We should fill it up more often for him, though.”

“Is he legally driving that truck?” Burt asked.

Carole refused to look at anyone.  “I don’t have time to drive him places and he would be teased if he had to ride the bus or ask for rides.  His reputation is more important.”

“Did he take driver’s ed?”

“No.  Why would he?” Carole said. “I taught him well enough.”

Burt rolled his eyes and looked at Finn.

“Finn, did you hit someone?”

“Yeah, a mailman when Mom was teaching me.” Finn said.

“What happened after that?” Burt asked.

“I wasn’t going real fast…he just kinda rolled up the hood and off the side and then mom was screaming and she pulled the wheel and made us run into a fire hydrant and we switched sides then we got out  and no one was there who saw anything to tell anyone different than what she said.” Finn said.

“And what did she say?” Kurt asked.

“Oh…that she swerved to miss hitting him more centered after he walked right out into the street while not looking.  She got yelled at and was supposed to see a judge but then came home after talking to a lawyer and said everything was fixed.”

“How old were you?” Burt asked.

“I’ve been driving since I was 15 and a half.” Finn said.  “So that was probably when I was like almost 14 and half maybe.”

“And you have never considered you needed a license?”

“We got me a state Id. card; I don’t need one of those.”

“That’s not how it works, Finn.” Kurt said with a sigh.

“Of course it is.”

“No, it’s not.” Burt said.  Burt sighed and rubbed his head. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Are you going to call someone about it?” Kurt asked.

“No. That’s why I can’t believe I’m doing this. Finn stops driving immediately. The truck comes to the garage and stays there and Finn starts the police run drivers education class starting in January.  We go about this completely legal from this point forward…and Finn, if you talk about driving illegally at that class, they will fine you and possibly arrest you and your mother.  I suggest you play dumb as a rock and say what you know of driving you learned driving in fields at your uncle’s house.  Just keep quiet unless asked, answer just what you are asked, and offer no extra information.  Because if you let it slip you’ve driving for years with no license, I will not cover your asses on this.  Seriously, what you have both been doing is so reckless and stupid I am of half a mind to take you down right now and turn you over myself.”

“But Kurt drives!”

“Kurt is licensed and qualified and has been driving very well for a long time. And Kurt got special permission to drive at the garage starting at 12 which I had to fill out reams of paperwork for.  That involved moving cars in and out of the garage and parking them. That was it for a long time. He started officially taking the same drivers course I am signing you up for the day he turned 15 and a half….just like he was LEGALLY able to and drove the required hours with company, just like he was supposed to.  He got his license when he was supposed to…his honest to goodness driver’s license. And he generally follows the rules. And when something does happen, his doesn’t get his vehicle back until I allow it.”

“Like when Mercedes threw the brick through my baby’s window!” Kurt said.

“You said you lost use of your car because your dad found your tiara collection.” Finn said.

“I told Mercedes I lost the use of my baby because my dad found my tiara collection.  She was feeling stupid and guilty enough as it was, I wasn’t going to be cruel and add to it.  Tina and Brittany knew the real reason.  No one else actually asked me. Dad’s known about the tiara collection since I started it at two.” Kurt said with and eye roll.  “It also had nothing to do with my thigh length sweaters.”

“I’m not driving him, Burt.  I just do not have the time.” Carole said.

“That is fine.  I will drop him off at school when I head to work.  Then he will certainly be on time and maybe he can put that extra time at the school to use working on his grades.  I will also have someone watching so he doesn’t get up to mischief and ill behavior being there early like that.”

“You can’t do that!” Finn shouted.

“Can’t do what?” Burt asked.

“Have someone tattle on me!” Finn shouted.

Burt raised an eyebrow. “So, you generally do things that if someone were to see and tell me about it would be tattling?”

“What? I didn’t say that.  I mean No. I mean…” Finn trailed off.

“Yeah…so until you pass and complete the requirements for drivers ed…which will not be lowered for you because you are over 17…someone else will be driving you places.  I am not kidding Finn.  Furthermore, all your driving hours will be with me.  No one else.”

“But…”

“But nothing.  You were reckless and irresponsible. There will be no more of this.” Burt said.

“Are you done being tyrannical, Burt?  I don’t know why you think I’m going to put up with this.  I will not.  Finn is being treated horribly by you right now, and it is crushing him.  I can’t believe all you are putting my sweet boy through today.” Carole said, pushing herself away from the table.  She swayed as she stood and put her hand to her head and grimaced.

“Finn is not and he is just fine, I’m sure.  Anything he has been put through today is his own fault for doing illegal things so often and getting away with crap.” Burt said.

“It’s Kurt’s fault.” Carole said.  “If Kurt would just act normal…”

“Bullshit.  Half of what has been discussed has been happening since long before Kurt came into the picture.”

“Nonsense, I still am not seeing problems through the whole thing.”

“Your child lies and cheats and vandalizes and drinks and skips school and is flunking classes and treats others poorly, and you are not seeing a problem?” Burt said.

“No, it’s all just kid stuff that doesn’t matter.  And None of that can really be proven. Now, you are going to just stop with all this meeting whatever crap and do everything how it has been done the last few weeks and however Finn and I want it done and you will NOT discuss anything with the cops about things Finn might have been involved with at all and you will not listen to any of those farfetched lying tales your child tells you about anything Finn or anyone else has done to him.  Finally you will NOT question me.”  Each statement was accompanied by a stomp of her foot as Carole snapped.

“I will not, huh?” Burt asked.

“No, you will not. I am always the one telling you the truth, I haven’t been the one telling lies.  Kurt has, Kurt always has been the one lying!  Me and Finn are the only ones telling you the right truths!” Carole screamed.

“Good God! How long have you been playing games like this?  Do you lie to me often?  Or just once in a while to cover your son’s sorry ass?  How often have you lied to make yourself look like the one in the right, Carole?  To make Finn the one in the right?  Is it all lies?  Am I going to have to make you show evidence to back up anything you tell me?  Was it all a sham?  Is it all a sham?” Burt yelled.

“I’m going back to bed; you and I will discuss this travesty of hate towards me when I can talk without it echoing.”

“Fine…go to bed.  You are right though, you and I will be discussing this all.  And hopefully, we come to some sort of solution that is rational or you will be finding a new home…just the two of you.  I refuse to deal with this type of behavior any longer.  Either you are this hateful bratty little bitch you’ve been showing me since we got married or you are the grown mature woman I dated….who had issues apparently, but they didn’t completely rule everything and we could probably deal with those in some sane manner.  I will remain married to the grown women, not the little bitch.”

Carole screamed and stomped off towards the stairs.

“We will be discussing jobs and Finn before the end of January, Carole. Don’t forget to drink some more water before you take your nap.” Burt called after her.

Burt watched as Carole swayed as she headed back up the stairs.  All those times when they were dating and she begged off after evening spent with the girls she worked with made more sense, as did the days she called and canceled siting a hard day at work. He couldn’t see how he had missed it before, but then…he hadn’t been looking, he guessed. They drank very little while out together, even the few times they went to fancy places, and she’d never shown up to the get-togethers Burt hosted that had beers. He wasn’t willing to play this game all the time though, so she was just going to have to get used to less drinking at the house…And several other changes that were going to have to be made.

#glee fanfic #burt hummel #Kurt Hummel #hummel household