#I am not expecting anyone to see this post but if anyone does that'll be very cool!

[rhyme-thinks-stuff]

Fractured Life: A Life Series Crossover AU

(I've had this post in my drafts for almost a month now, hopefully it makes sense! i put a lot of work into it)

An AU where I put characters from my various different fandom interests into a Life Series game and shake them about >:]

Features characters from Homestuck, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Legend of Zelda Tears of The Kingdom, Hollow Knight, and all the regular Life Series members, with a total of 44 players. I might add more if I feel like it, Hades and ATLA are especially tempting me, but then that might me too many characters.

This AU is mainly just a concept/outline for now, a little sandbox I can think about and play around in. It's ment to be self indulgent and fun. I've made a whole lot of notes and a few bits of drabbles and oneshots, a bit of art, and a Minecraft World!

Below is an explanation of the rules of the game, a complete list of characters, art I've made, screenshots of the Minecraft world, and some extra ramblings about it.

RULES

Fractured Life has the same basic rules of any Life Series, with some bits of added worldbuilding for the story. This season's gimmick is that it's a mix of every other season, both in the rules of the game and the world itself.

Backround Setting

Players don't choose to be in the games.

Players are sent signs a couple weeks before a game starts, generally in dreams.

Players have all their memories intact when they start their first game but they may grow foggy over time.

When a player loses their last life, they're made a spectator ghost until the end of the game.

Ghosts cannot talk to living players (most of the time) but can talk to each other.

All players are sent home at the end of the games.

Basics

Limited amount of lives

Lose enough lives and you turn red, and hostile

You're out when you lose your last life

You can give another player one of your lives

Each session some of the players will be boogeymen, and will have to kill another player or be sent straight to red

Each player has a “Path” that gives them additional mechanics they have to use to play the game

Each session is 72 hours long, with 24 hours off time in between 

During the break players aren't allowed to kill each other, and timers are paused

Each character is assigned a “Path” which determines which past game’s mechanics they use. Last Life mechanics are spread across each, most players use mechanics from Double, Limited, or Secret Life in addition to this. Winners get the same mechanics they had in the game they won.

Limited

Each Limited player has 864 hours to live (1 canon hr = 36 AU hours)

Normal deaths take off 36 hours

Boogey deaths take off 72 hours

Normal kills give 18 hours

Bogey kills give 36 hours

576+ hours = green

576-288 hours = yellow

under 288 = red

36 hours = 1 life (for trades)

Limited yellow lives can kill green lives of any path

Double

Double players each have a soulmate, with whom health and lives are shared

Boogey consequences are shared but only one player has the curse

A Double player doesn't need permission from their soulbound to trade lives away

Secret

30 hearts as usual

trading lives doesn't change heart amount

regular rewards and penalties

Secret Keeper is in a more hidden location

Red lives are given 1 task to harm someone each session and gain 10 hearts from completing it

Reds may attack players outside of their task, and get hearts from kills

3rd

starts with 3 lives, cannot interact with any extra mechanics

CHARACTER LIST

There's 44 players total in Fractured Life! The total cast of the Life Series is 18 people, it's a bit more than doubled because I couldn't bring myself to cut anyone, and I might add more if the whim takes me. I'm probably not going to come up with full stories for each and every one of them, but I want them here in my sandbox anyways.

Life Series OGs

Grian

Scott

Pearl

Martyn

Scar

Gem

Jimmy

Mumbo

Lizzie

Cleo

Etho

Bdubs

Joel

Rendog

BigB

Tango

Skizz

Impulse

MLP

Twilight

Pinkie Pie

Rarity

Apple Jack

Rainbow Dash

Fluttershy 

TOTK

Link

Zelda

Hollow Knight

Hornet

Quirrel

Hollow

Ghost 

Homestuck 

John

Rose

Dave

Jade

Roxy

Jane

Jake

Dirk

Karkat

Vriska

Kanaya

Terezi 

Nepeta

Feferi

ART

Terezi pushing Quirrel off a cliff because what i even the point of making a crossover AU set in a death game without making characters you like push each other off cliffs. I came up with this idea by choosing two characters at random to write a drabble of an interaction between them, and said interaction ended up being an attempted boogey kill. Quirrel has a sunhat because it'd help keep the sun out of his eyes while he explores, Rarity made it for him!

Another random pairing! Zelda and Applejack's bases are fairly close together, and I think they'd get along pretty well! Zelda has diplomacy skills and AJ has friendship skills. Here Applejack is giving Zelda bread, in the early game before everyone gets stable food sources.

My twin suggested that Fluttershy and Mumbo be soulbound together because it'd be funny. So here they are being disasters together :D

Zelda and Hornet are two of my favorite video game characters ever, the thought of pairing them popped into my head and wouldn't leave so here we are <3

Hornet and Link are soulbound. They agree to team for practical reasons, and then Hornet slowly finds herself caring for both them and Zelda. Meanwhile Zelda is a Limited Player, which means she has a timer ticking down instead of lives. Link and Hornet try to keep her alive for as long as possible.

Bases from this post vvv

I love my silly crossover crackship throuple <33 I think Link and Zelda are in a QPP, Zelda is bi and polyamorous and Link is demiromantic and acespec. Hornet hasn't had much chance to be in a relationship like this before, she's still figuring herself out.

MINECRAFT WORLD SCREENSHOTS

Parts of builds from past games are scattered throughout the new map. I did the replicated bases in creative, and the original ones in survival!

Scar's base was torn out of the ground and put up in the sky which he's a little bit annoyed about since he didn't even move out of it. I spent way too much time on trying to get the path blocks here exactly correct!

I built Pearl's tower first, it was very fun! I had difficulty finding reference for the roof but a Scott thumbnail came through for me.

The Scottage, it's at the edge of a town. This one's pretty unfinished

Desetduo home. It's a bit torn up, not exactly in the same way as in canon though. I think the older builds are somewhat built on memory, rather than being the exact same places just moved to this map.

Original builds time! Here's a bridge I built.

This is where Zelda, Link, and some amount of the HK bugs live. It's dimmed so the bugs have a place to hide from the sun, but still spawnproof.

Aplejack's farm area! I just like making big wheat fields. And I think AJ'd want to make sure no one starves to death, even if they are in a death game.

Side note, I wanted to add more images but hit the limit D:

Bonus ramblings!

If you got this far then thank you, that's very cool!! PLEASE ask me any questions you have I'd be happy to answer them, and feel free to suggest ideas for character interactions and things like that :D

I've been working on this AU in bits and pieces since January.

Planning this AU is what made me finally get around to reading the last half of Homestuck.

It's also a large part of the reason I'm currently rewatching MLP:FIM

I haven't been able to watch anything since this without considering adding the characters to the AU. 

Revolutionary Girl Utena, Delicious in Dungeon, and Avatar TLA have all tempted me with this, however I have 44 characters already I really shouldn't. 

I've also briefly considered adding Genshin and She-Ra characters to this AU but I just don't have much the fixation on either of those right now.

Also considering Hades characters that would be so fun. Hmm. but again 44 characters. I'd have to expand the world border.

I've ended up shipping Zelda TOTK and Hornet HK because of this AU. My idea is that Link and Hornet are soulbound together and Zelda is Limited. Hornet sticks with them for practical reasons at first but ends up bonding with both of them and she and Link try to protect Zelda and keep her in the game as long as they can. 

I think this is a post canon AU for the Homestucks, they're probably in their early twenties. I was originally going to have them still be kids because there's something very funny to me about the idea of the other characters being concerned about the teenagers in this death game only to find out they're all very used to death and carnage, but I decided I'd rather they be a bit closer to the other characters so things are a bit better balanced. 

Also all the trolls survived because I wanted Nepeta and Feferi here. I don't think I'm going to include the other six, because again the cast is large enough, but I might change that later if I get more invested in them all. And then I'd probably also add Calliope because I like her and I might as well! 

The ponies are somewhat humanized, but still have their pony ears, coat colors, tails, hooves, and horns/wings. None of them can fly or do magic.

I've done most of the work on this before Real Life came out, I'm not sure yet if I'll find some way to work it in or just say it happens afterwards.

it took me a couple hours to write this post.

I have 37 separate documents for this au in a folder, including it one I used to write this post in.

I have 15,000 words worth of notes and planning

in addition to notes I have ~6000 words worth of drabbles and one shots, and bits of a possible first chapter from Twilight's POV

this post is ~1500 words long and I think I spent over 6 hours putting it together somehow!

#rhyme rambles #fractured life au #crossover #crossover au #life series #mcyt #traffic smp #secret life #homestuck #mlp #mlp:fim #my little pony friendship is magic #mlp fim #mlp au #homestuck crossover #hollow knight #totk #loz totk #tears of the kingdom #hope this isn't overdoing it with the tags! #fandom stuff #I am not expecting anyone to see this post but if anyone does that'll be very cool! #I put a lot of work into putting this together

[amomentsescape]

Hey a while ago I requested a oneshot of the reader giving jason voorhees a shirt that said "thot destroyer 9000" but what if you did that with other slashers? Like giving bubba a shirt that says "everything is bigger in Texas" and freddy in a basic "dream guy/boat etc" shirt or one of the nightmare before Christmas shirts that say "what a wonderful nightmare"? And maybe other slashers if ya can think of shirts that'll fit em? (Shirt quotes not mine and merry post Christmas)

Slashers React to Custom Made T-Shirts

Slashers x Reader (Separate)

A/N: I think this would be absolutely hilarious to see! Thank you so much, and Merry (Very Late) Christmas and Happy New Year!

Freddy Krueger

He lets out his notorious laugh the moment he sees it

"I am pretty dreamy, aren't I?"

Puts it on over his sweater

Will pretty much always have it on, especially when he sees you

He ends up wearing it during his future killings, even asking them if they like the shirt or not

If any of them answer no, he makes their deaths a lot more painful

Will also want you to get a similar shirt so you both can match

He'll probably end up asking for a sweater version a few months later

Michael Myers

He just kind of gives you that disappointed parent look

"Barely even looks like me"

Will refuse to wear it unless you beg him repeatedly over the course of a few days

Finally gives in and puts it on underneath his overalls

He is honestly kind of embarrassed to wear it, but you no longer bothering him about it makes up for the embarrassment

After wearing it a few times, it gets to the point that he doesn't even think about it anymore

It's pretty much all he wears now

But only because he's grown used to it, not because he likes it

Or so he tells you

Jason Voorhees

(I couldn't quite find a shirt that fit the description, so I went with the closest I could find)

He tilts his head at you in confusion

Poor boy doesn't even know what a "thot" is

When you explain it to him, you can tell he finds it kind of funny

Will put it on jokingly for you, only to realize it's pretty comfortable

Will wear it under his jacket

Even if he doesn't have it on, he'll carry it around with him

He insists it helps his killing ability and is a good luck charm

But he pretty much just cherishes ANYTHING you give him

Thomas Hewitt

He lets out a few chuckles at this

Will pull you into a big hug as his way of thanking you

He'll only wear the shirt on special occasions

He's worried it'll get ruined if he wears it when he's working outside or tending to "dinner"

But he does love the shirt

Will probably show it off to the family and receive some laughs and head nods

Will make you wear it sometimes as a joke since you're practically drowning in the shirt

Bubba Sawyer

He loves receiving anything from you

So he happily takes the shirt and gives you some gleeful giggles and kisses as his thank you

But he honestly has no idea what it means

You have to make the connection of what his family eats and the shirt in order to get a true response out him

He'll laugh like crazy

He immediately puts it on

You'll have to quite literally fight him in order to wash it or take it off

If anyone accidentally stains it or causes a tear, he'll go into a frenzy

Brahms Heelshire

He immediately gets it and smiles

You've made a mistake though

Because he ends up putting it on his list of actual rules

Will make some dirty jokes about it

He quickly puts the shirt on and stands there, giving you a "well, go on" sort of look

Anytime he wears the shirt now, he expects you to follow what it says...

Good luck, because you've made Brahms just that much harder to handle

Norman Bates

Will give you a gentle smile and thank you for the shirt

He definitely thinks it's funny and will happily wear it around the house

It mostly becomes a pajama shirt, not that you mind

He doesn't fully understand the joke, but he likes that you think he's cute

Will hang it up in a special place in the closet so he'll always see it

He likes when you wear it too

"I-I think it may suit you better, dear"

"That's so sweet, Norman... wait a minute"

Billy Loomis

He rolls his eyes at it but with the widest smile on his face

It doesn't take much for him to give in and try it on

He secretly thinks the shirt is hilarious, but he doesn't want to inflate your ego and end up with 30 similar tees

Doesn't wear it in public though since he's worried people may become a little suspicious

He likes it better on you though

So you both sort of trade off the shirt every week or so

Stu Macher

Practically the opposite of Billy's reaction

Stu will hold it up and immediately exclaim on how much he loves it

Thinks it's hilarious and will immediately throw it on

Does a couple funny twirls to show off how it looks

Honestly doesn't care what people think

He'll happily skip around in public with the shirt on, you right by his side

If anyone points it out he just shrugs and says "it's pretty sick, right?"

Eric Draven

He breaks out into a big smile and even laughs a little bit

"I see what you did there"

Flashes the shirt to his crow

"They look just like you"

He gives you a sweet kiss as a thank you

Will wear it on dates and stay-at-home days with you

He doesn't want it to get all beat up while he's out taking down criminals

But even after months of owning it, he still smiles whenever he puts it on

#slashers x reader #slasher preference #slashers headcanon #slashers preference #slashers #michael myers headcanons #michael myers x reader #michael myers #halloween #halloween movie #jason voorhees headcanons #jason voorhees x reader #jason voorhees #friday the 13th #friday the thirteenth #thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt x reader #texas chainsaw massacre #the texas chainsaw massacre #brahms heelshire x reader #brahms heelshire #brahms heelshire headcanon #the boy 2016 #billy loomis x reader #billy loomis headcanon #billy loomis #stu macher x reader #stu macher #stu macher headcanons #scream movie

[mwagneto]

sherlock & co. review from an insane person (me) coz this is like. the 25th? sherlock adaptation i've checked out so ofc i have opinions on everything ever. and ik ppl who work on indie podcasts browse tumblr sometimes so just in case you work on this DON'T click keep reading, this post is not for youuu shoo. thanks x

ok so far it's like. fine? which is lowkey sad coz i wish it was smtg i really liked but it hasn't gripped me yet which is a shame but yknow. early days. i'm giving it time since it's only 15 episodes so far

my main issue is like. i really wish it wasn't so obviously influenced by bbc but it just so clearly is which is a shaaame like it's better than bbc in every aspect but yknow. not a high bar to clear. like it kinda feels like they liked a lot of things abt bbc and set out to fix the bad parts (h&w friendship being nonexistent, the mysteries being shit) but just kept the rest? in some places keeping things that were invented by bbc which is. baffling tbh

i'm not really picky when it comes to h&w personalities like i think it's fine to just do whatever you want w them, i think it's really fun when an adaptation gives them different personalities than what you're used to but, and this is where it feels far too bbc-ish for comfort, i just don't like it when sherlock is a cunt for no reason? like. he's not a mean person he's only mean in bbc coz moffat thought house md was cool and ripped it off. can we stop making him mean pleeeease 😭 he's just some guy..................

h&w relationship wise it's like... ok so i tend to go into adaptations with a fully clean slate so like i never let my general attachment to them influence how i view them in specific adaptations, the work itself needs to sell me on both the characters and the relationship and like... here neither of those really happened yet which makes me sad coz i think by now it should've but i'm giving it time. at least they're friends and i like that watson is useful for cases/knows things holmes doesn't sometimes coz thats like. such an essential element to sh stories for me and a loooottt of adaptations tend to just completely forget it so that's a win but idk if anything they're too tame? like i dont expect a romance but they can't just be casual friends they need to be bat shit crazy about each other. to me. but like maybe that'll develop over the rest of the podcast we'll see

kinda related to that point but case-wise i think holmes is a bit too ahead of everyone else sometimes which isn't inherently a problem but it does once again smell of bbc which like. noone should ever emulate moffat writing don't do that 🙏 god bles. but i've been able to solve every case along with/before the mcs which is like. thee point of mystery stories for me so yea i really like the stories themselves so far, especially the way they manage to make them solvable even without visuals or narration. OH and i almost forgot but i rly like the soundtrack, i love it when sh soundtracks have a heavy emphasis on violins coz. yknow

howeverr i am on my hands and knees begging them not to give watson a girlfriend tho like please oh myfffucking god . obvs watsonlock doesn't usually factor into my enjoyment of adaptations given that like. y'know. out of the hundreds out there theres only two where either of them is even gay so it's not something i expect nor require but like. to me it is essential that these two ppl are insane abt each other and don't really have anyone else, definitely noone important. like even the rdj movies got this despite ritchie's obsession w the 2 men 1 woman dynamic so idk why i'm constantly having to wage a war against random unnecessary romances for either watson or, god forbid, holmes. when the only interesting relationship either of these men have is with each other. that one granada holmes quote about them choosing not to include mary coz holmes and watson dont need anyone else etc etc. like i seriously dislike it when they introduce anyone else like cmonnnnnn thog dont care

anyway tldr. i guess if asked to pick a short description i'd say. promising? i hope it's gonna be good in the long run. the way they do mysteries is already something i like so. i hope they keep that up and i hope the h&w relationship evolves into something i enjoy coz so far i'm like. i can see the bones of smtg i'll potentially like but it's not there yet. but also like. this is an indie production i'm listening to for free so ion wanna rip into it these are mainly just what i liked/disliked based on the preferences i developed with this one quick trick (grow up completely insane abt sherlock holmes -> consume every adaptation that you can get your paws on -> no profit)

#i left out a lot coz i didn't wanna make it ten kilometres long but this is most of it ig #i also have a lot of issues w how modern adaptations depict his addiction problems but that's a different post #sh stuff #sherlock holmes #sherlock & co #also im not putting it on the tierlist yet but i will eventually #it's too short for now i wanna see how it plays out before i judge it #sh reviews

[overlord-of-chaos]

Thoughts on the end of Good Omens 2, as an aroace

So, I'm going to preface this with a few things, since I would very much like anyone who does choose to read this to do in good faith, and I would like to establish my own. Firstly, this is absolutely not a criticism of anybody's headcanons. Crowley and Aziraphale, of all characters, have incredible potential for headcanoning, and I love seeing the fandom's wide and varying interpretations. Secondly, what you see here is not a complete and entire reflection of my opinions of the characters mentioned or the show. It is very specifically me airing my grievances and concerns and venting because I cannot cope with not saying anything at all. I love Good Omens, but I am not going to add caveats to my every sentence to make sure that you, the reader, are certain I'm not just bashing one of the most fantastically queer shows I know. Thirdly, if you vehemently disagree with everything I'm saying here, you're free to ignore it. This is not for you. You're also free to ignore it if you do agree, but at this point I'm going on the assumption that that'll be a smaller portion of whatever audience this reaches anyway. Fourthly, if you are in a similar position to me and sort of spiralling at the prospect of your comfort QPR not being a QPR anymore, then maybe you should read the bullet points at the end. I've sort of got my shit together by then.

So, that said, I would like to take this post as an opportunity to say that I worry about where Good Omens is going. Not in a plot-related sort of way as such, we all know it'll all be alright in the end, more in terms of representation - specifically, whether, by the end of the show, I'll be able to see myself in the characters anymore.

Now, why is this? Well, as you may have guessed from the title, I'm aroace. And when I first saw the Good Omens show, I hadn't really been involved in the fandom at all. This is due to a variety of reasons, including that I wasn't on any of the platforms that enable me to engage in fandom now, and because I'd only read the book a couple of months prior. I didn't know, as I do more now, that one of the main interpretations of the relationship between Crowley and Aziraphale before the show came out was romantic, and I wasn't expecting to see that in the show. I don't tend to expect romance in most circumstances. I more end up picking up on the common tropes used to develop romantic relationships in fiction and observe with little enthusiasm as a character dynamic 'blossoms' into something I cannot comprehend. (This is not to say I dislike romance in everything. I simply dislike it being the one and only significant dynamic in pretty much everything all the time.)

I was well aware that the relationship between Crowley and Aziraphale in the show had been expanded and developed along the lines of a romantic relationship, and I really liked the way it was handled. But at no point did I think this meant that their relationship had to be read as romantic. I thought I could see something of myself in them, and see a relationship that was something other than romantic. At the risk of sounding insulting, I did not feel like their relationship could be anything as simple as a romance. I saw two beings who very deeply loved each other in a nonromantic way, and thought hey, maybe this is a dynamic I could see myself in at last. Maybe this isn't the same old kind of love story.

I thought, perhaps naively, that no matter the hinting from the cast and the way that season 1 was set up, there would always be the room to interpret Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship as platonic (or queerplatonic, specifically, as I read it). And then...well, I imagine you all know what happened then.

From a more objective (probably not quite the right word, but can't think of a better one) analytical perspective, the kiss was one of the hardest-hitting moments in any story I've ever watched, or read. The setup was amazing, the acting was impeccable, and I could not imagine anything else having the same impact. As Neil Gaiman himself has said, no one could deny that it happened. I think it was categorically the right narrative choice. That's not what I'm debating here.

What hurts, what really fucking hurts, is that a lot of the time, I don't feel like there's space for my aroace/queerplatonic reading of their relationship anymore. Some of that's on me, because headcanon is headcanon and there's no reason why I should assume my reading of the relationship is wrong, or canonically impossible. (I mean, Ineffable Bureaucracy is canon. Anything is possible in this fandom.) However, it does mean that I do not quite have the same ability to bury my head in the sand and say that Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship is not set up to be read specifically as a romance.

What worries me is that I am very well aware that I am in a disappointed minority when thinking that their relationship will continue to unfold by hitting key romantic plot points until the door for an aroace interpretation isn't even left ajar. I am in a minority that the writers of Good Omens will likely never hear, and even if they do, I certainly wouldn't expect them to change the coming plot for me.

Most people take the kiss as explicit confirmation that the love between Crowley and Aziraphale is romantic. There's the occasional 'it's okay, they can still be ace!' post dotted around, but no one seems to be talking about the possibility of them being aromantic anymore. They weren't doing that much previously, admittedly, but all I seem to see, from other aro people included, is discussion around how they're feeling about the romance between them being made canon, while I'm sitting here thinking is that the only thing that kiss is allowed to mean? It means that I find myself wondering whether I should give up on seeing the relationship as nonromantic, if only so that I am not as disappointed when season 3 rolls around. (There had better fucking be a season 3. Amazon better fucking pay the writers, pay the actors and renew shit instead of just cancelling it.)

I think one of the main things that makes me uncomfortable is the assumption that the next logical step in Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship is sexual. Because that's how these things normally go, right? You have an ostensibly platonic relationship with romantic undertones, then it becomes explicitly romantic, and then the next 'natural' progression is sexual. It's the same thing every single time. I think it's been vaguely mentioned that they're asexual by virtue of not being human (almost all ace rep being in nonhuman characters is a whole other essay and not something I'm going to get into here), by Neil a few times and in the book, but since I wasn't expecting there to be so little space to read their relationship as nonromantic, I don't know that I can continue to expect it to seem nonsexual too.

And even if that's not the route they take, I don't know that I can trust them not to play up a romantic dynamic, particularly when I think a lot of people would be disappointed if the relationship is 'just' platonic, or platonic-leaning. And I get that, I do. We've been queerbaited enough, but that doesn't mean that something not being romantically queer means it isn't queer at all. I have no idea how one would manage to frame a relationship as explicitly and specifically queerplatonic; there isn't really a template for it (though my god would I love for Good Omens to be the show that makes one). I imagine it would be much more realistic to perhaps hope for something that isn't exclusively and explicitly romantic.

One of my concerns, of course, with a queerplatonic route is that it would be upsetting to people who do see them as a romantic couple to have that door be closed to them (I really don't wish an experience like that on anyone), and that it would leave more space for queerphobic assholes to claim that they're 'just friends'. But I've spent my life hoping for a story that doesn't push platonic love to the wayside when there's the potential for romance, especially when the relationship starts out as something brilliantly compelling and nonromantic. I've spent my life trying not to internalise the idea that the way I love, the only way I can love, isn't enough, even when it seems to be the message that's being shouted with almost every story I ever encounter. A lot of the time, it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm used to it by now. But most of the stories I know haven't meant as much to me as Good Omens. I didn't see the same space to read a relationship in a nonromantic way as I did in Good Omens.

Anyway. I figure either I post this, two people read it and then it disappears into the aether, or I wake up tomorrow morning and find I have made enemies of over half the GO fandom. It doesn't really matter. I think I have accomplished what I wanted to do when I started writing, which was to lay everything out logically for myself so that the mounting evidence not in my favour did not seem quite so insurmountable. And honestly? It doesn't anymore. My brain is very often my own worst enemy, and articulating my emotions somewhere means that I can look at all of this and conclude the following:

Most of the reason why I do not think I can view Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship as nonromantic anymore is because everyone else thinks the ending confirms their hopes of it definitely being romantic. If nothing else, I'm genuinely delighted that it's bringing so many people that joy. We all deserve that kind of joy, and all the canonically queer relationships media has to offer. If nothing else, there is so much joy to take in other people's wholehearted adoration of what season 2 meant to them.

Most of my concerns about how season 3 will go are largely unfounded and entirely hypothetical. Most of it hasn't even been written yet, and can't be until the WGA strike is over anyway, so no one can even hint at how it'll go because it is not, in fact, going.

People will read what they will into Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship dynamic, and so can I! Such are the joys of varying interpretation and headcanon and all that jazz.

One kiss does not close any queerplatonic (or aroace) doors. Nor would a hundred. One of the many joys of queerplatonic relationships is that they can be whatever the fuck you want them to be, including a dynamic that would typically be read as romantic, but isn't.

A romantic relationship is not inherently superior to a platonic one. A romantic relationship is not inherently superior to a platonic one. A romantic relationship is not inherently superior to a platonic one, and nothing in the canon of Good Omens has ever stated this not to be true.

No one who is involved in Good Omens has ever at any point, to my knowledge, said that Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship has to be romantic, or even implied that one must see it that way, or that seeing it otherwise means seeing it as lesser. I am reading this into things because I expect it of the world. I should probably stop.

Short of some truly spectacular feats that may or may not be illegal, there is absolutely nothing I can do to influence the people creating the show, so what I get is what I get. If I can't change it, I might as well enjoy it. There's so much to enjoy, after all. No point stressing over maybes.

If you got this far, I am impressed, I'm not sure I'd have read this much. I hope that this post perhaps gives you a little to think about, preferably a positive something. I also hope that you bear in mind that this is a rather venty braindump and should not be taken as a damning indictment of anything or anyone. I'll probably delete this sometime soon, but I was seized by an urge to say something, and so say something I have, even if I probably forgot at least half my original points.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #go2 spoilers #ace #asexual #aro #aromantic #aroace #long post #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #here goes nothing i guess

[queen-scribbles]

I saw the post about the big Bioware sale and figured you're a good person to ask since I've seen you posting about Mass Effect/Dragon Age a lot. The games look fun, and I'm a sucker for complex stories with customizable protagonists, but I am a complete weenie about the more, uh, mature stuff when it comes to romance and the 'M' rating keeps scaring me off.

Like I'm over 18 and I'm fine with the violence/drinking/most of the swearing listed with the M rating, but I just get deeply uncomfortable with the other stuff. I'm just weird like that, I guess.

Is it really a lot? Or is there like a skip option, or some kinda setting that'll just have it be a fade-to-black sitch like SWTOR? I won't be too disappointed if there isn't, I kind of expect that really, but I figured it was worth an ask while the sale is on/to keep in mind for the next sale.

I have major social anxiety and am kinda embarrassed about all this, so sorry about the anon-asking. :P

No, no, you're fine, I understand completely. (I can take or leave a lot of the sexier stuff myself) Now I will try to remember romance scenes bc I haven't played some of these games in 4-5 years, and some of the romances I haven't gotten to yet. 😅 (if you don't mind spoilers you can always look up the romance on yt to check for yourself if it goes past your preferences. but if you do wanna avoid spoilers I will do my best) P much all the romances there's only even potentially anything that might be a problem in the Culmination Scene.

(If I got anything wrong anyone please feel free to correct me)

I know in ME1 the romance scene(with Kaidan for f!Shep, Ashley for m!Shep, Liara for either) there's sideview but shadowed nudity for f!Shep/Ashely/Liara(with Arm Strategically Placed to block boobs so all you really see is a little bit of butt) and Kaidan/mShep is shirtless.

ME2.... I think there's 0 nudity and ftb for Garrus, Thane, Tali, and Jack(ftb on tenderness, comes back in to fully-clothed snuggles in bed), Jacob's shirtless, and Miranda you half-unzip her catsuit uniform so you can see her bra. Oh, and there's a mini-romance-y thing with Kelly and she wears something really skimpy if you do that.

ME3... I need to caveat I've only actually gotten through ME3 with my Kaidanmancers + the Jackmancer, but I watched p much all the others on yt to hurt myself. Also it's been a while. I don't thiiiiink there's any full nudity, when it gets to the big sex scene toward the end, the furthest it goes is cuddling/foreplay with underwear still on, then cuts to waking up still just in underwear, and not all the romances get that. Some of them, ah. end prematurely for different reasons, or the romance isn't an actual companion in this game, so there's less content(Kaidan, Ashley, Garrus, Liara, and Tali get the most, since they join the team + have been established longer). There are new m/m and f/f exclusive option in ME3, but it's been long enough I don't rememberrrrrr if there's anything risque for them. I don't think so.

Andromeda I've only done Liam's romance and I don't think there was much in there(you can get him to stop wearing a shirt on the ship about halfway through and there's a makeout session on the couch that ftb). I think Cora's and Jaal's involve male and female shirtlessness, but I'm straight up blanking for the rest of them.

FOR DRAGON AGE

In Origins, the "big scene" for the romances does involve "sexy" movements, but the characters still have on underwear, so no nudity, and tbh with game engine/graphics advances that have been made a lot of people find those scenes cringey/silly more than sexy now. I think you can skip those, maybe, but if you can't there's dialogue after so you can just look away til you hear your chosen sweetie start talking and the conversation takes place fully clothed.

DA2 they did ftb for the four vanilla game romances. Love interest shows up, there's cutscene kissing fully clothed, ftb, wake up in underwear at worst. (Sebastian MY BELOVED is romanceable with a f!Hawke, but since he's a) chaste and b) a DLC companion, there's absolutely no sex scenes with him, you can get chaste married on his friend path and he'll talk about the two of you getting married to reclaim his homeland on his rival path).

DAI is... simultaneously best and worst in this regard lol Josephine and Solas there's nothing. Sera and Cassandra you see boobs and enough leg to hint at full nudity without actually showing it(Sera's might get a little more explicit, it's been longer for her so I don't 100% remember). Dorian's has... full rear nudity, but I think that's it. Blackwall's I don't remember, Cullen and Iron Bull both have scenes where you can tell they're naked, but the Inquisitor or an object is strategically in the way of the naughty bits.

OH AND not romance related, but possibly an issue, there are demons in the DRagon Age canon known as Desire Demons, who look like practically naked purple ladies(they have, like, an even skimpier version of the SWtOR Slave Girl outfit and are fond of caressing themselves seductively). They aren't in DAI, but do show up in the first two games for a few quests.

#queen rambles #i really really hope i'm remembering things right #there are many romances and i have not done/watched them all #some day i will escape the magnetic draw of raphael sbarge's voice and romance someone OTHER THAN KAIDAN with fshep #(tho points to him for being literally the only video game romance i can't skip if playing a gender who can pursue them😂)

[keikakudori]

in what ways would aizen love his partner post-muken?

out.

I'll answer this one going by f!verse since that's the one where Aizen and Gin wind up together as a couple. Hell!verse and zombie!verse are much more ambiguous right now; just let them hold hands at least.

Honestly, Aizen loves Gin in every way he can. What is very important to note is that the man has emotional constipation and while I don't know yet at what point in the Caged Thread (yes I am giving it capitals it's important) that he'll say to Gin that he loves him? He will, eventually, say it. Of course, Gin's hurled out something in his (very justified) blow-up at Aizen that's going to see Aizen not saying it for a long time and that was only the first part of the Important Conversation that's been unlocked at last between them. But let's fast-forward to them living in the era past the Blood War, shall we? Aizen shows his love for Gin in all the small ways. Telling Gin that he loves him isn't entirely necessary but it will get easier for Aizen to say with time and, likely, he's probably going to tell him that at least once a day. It's something that Aizen enjoys saying, though he doesn't fully expect Gin to say it back to him. Yet for a man who's been well justified as a profound liar, it's something significant. I haven't decided yet if Aizen would ever have told Momo that he loves her, but I do know that he would probably say that he's fond of her while he's being a bastard.

But Aizen's way of showing love won't have changed that much before or after Muken.

He likes to show his love by sharing things; his food, his yukata, even the stealing of his kiseru. No one else would ever be allowed but he'll do that with Gin. They talk much more openly now by that point, since there's no need for them to have secrets any longer; it's improved their communication. And Aizen will tell Gin many things if he can. He's never going to be overwhelming in how he shows this love, unless he wants to get a little fancy (and Aizen can and does get fancy; he even enjoys getting fancy.) for some reason or another, like what could constitute their anniversary. Which I guess... would be, maybe, the day that Gin became a captain?

( @godkilller DO WE EVEN HAVE AN ANNIVERSARY FOR THEM? ) Anyways, it's in how supportive he is of Gin, in how protective he is. Aizen knows damn well that Gin is more than capable of taking care of himself -- he survived for two years in Las Noches with terrible wounds, after all, not to mention coming from the Rukongai -- but there is a desire in him to be protective of the younger man. Not a lot of people can stir up his emotions, so Gin's fairly unique in the place he holds in Aizen's world. That's something that will never change. I sincerely doubt anyone else could ever eclipse Gin's place. If it happens, then that'll be something wild and strange to behold, certainly.

Just as Aizen won't ever be overwhelming, he prefers to favor more subdued and even subtle displays of things. Things like putting plates of food down if he thinks Gin hasn't eaten enough or perhaps putting a blanket over his shoulders if he's dozed off. Hell, you could even say that his usual way of forcing medication into Gin (which went from him SITTING ON HIM WHEN GIN WAS A KID AFTER WRAPPING HIM IN A BLANKET TO GET THE MEDICATION INTO HIM--- to, well, medication kisses when Gin was much older because I am a slut for a good trope.) is also love. It's just usually accompanied by Gin's wailing and dramatics that Aizen's become used to.

Chances are everyone else also grew used to Gin's dramatics and learned to not take it seriously when those happened.

But either way, Aizen shows that he loves Gin in dozens of ways. They may not make sense to an outsider looking in at them but their dynamic is their own. No one understands him as well as this young prodigy he was allowed to influence, and no one else ever will.

Even in the f!verse, he really will not allow other people to get close to him for a long time. But it will happen; chances are that Aizen is going to try and offer some kind of friendship to Rangiku because she's important to Gin and, therefore, she will become important to Aizen. Give him enough time and it will grow, that list of people he cares about.

And, I think what it ultimately comes down to, is that Aizen will show Gin how he loves him, the ways that he loves him, by proving that he's not the same man he was before Deicide. It's a complicated question and this is the very complicated answer. Aizen will usually show, not tell; but give him enough time and he'll begin to tell it as well as show it.

#ask tbt; #Anonymous #headcanon; #headcanon tag;

[wornoutmouse]

Illumi x black reader ch 3

Reminder that this will all be posted on ao3 @ kachansmassivetiddies as well

It was the next day when Illumi came home and all night you had to force yourself to ignore the phone calls that came throughout the night. "Y/N I brought you breakfast." you could vaguely hear the monotone voice through your sleepy state. Sitting up you wipe your eyes and look around the room before finally taking in the food in front of you. You blink slowly as you take in the large egg in front of you. It was about 2 feet tall and larger than your own head with speckled spots all around it. "Illumi what the hell is this?" Illumi blinked at you, "A boiled egg, I heard it is popular among you people." he replies, taking out a spoon and whacking the top of the egg at light speed. All at once, the egg was made up of cracks before they all fell lightly around the egg itself. 

 

"You people? What does that mean" you glared at him, arms folded. Illumi looked at you blankly before closing his eyes and standing up, "Isn't it obvious? Americans." You looked at him for a while, questioning the life choices that lead up to this moment. "Are you going to eat this with me?" you asked poking the large food product with a fork provided by Illumi's brother from your last meal. Illumi shook his head, "No I ate two weeks ago I'm quite full." 

 

At this point, you didn't have any desire to question it as you pierced your egg with your fork eating it. You were surprised at the abundance of taste it held without having any noticeable sauce or seasoning on it. "This is amazing!" you said digging in the egg savoring every bite. Illumi took out a notepad and scribbled something down. "What's that?" you ask, eyes lighting up as you finally made it to the yolk. "Notes my mother gave to me in order to make you accept this family as your own. Step 1: Take them, easy enough. Step 2: a way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Illumi looked up to you with what you could only guess to be pride.

 

"Did you just call me a man?" you asked blandly suddenly wanting to throw something at the skinwalker. "As far as I can see, you carry no masculine features but even if you did, my family has ways of making it work." Illumi says gesturing at the pins adorning his green vest. You internally shiver at the sight of them as you think back to the night you two met. "Why wouldn't you answer my calls?" Illumi asks, black eyes peering down at you as if they could swallow you whole. "Why did you call me while you were inside someone. Aren't I supposed to be your wife?" you questioned sarcastically licking your lips and setting the plate to the side. 

 

You had only finished about 1/8 of the egg but you felt as if your stomach would implode on itself. You jump as you see a pale hand planted on the bed next to you. You gaze up at Illumi as he looks down at you, seemingly to take in all your features. "Would you prefer I were inside you?" You squeal jumping up and out of the bed falling onto the floor. "Where did that come from!?" you yelled pointing an accusing finger at Illumi as he walked around the bed towards you. 

 

"Although I would prefer our lovemaking to be only when conceiving a child, I do not mind indulging in your fantasies." He says sliding a nail down the middle of his vest opening it up to reveal a green shirt underneath. "You stay right there slender man! Touch me and it's on sight!" you say wielding your fork as if it were a weapon. "Onsight? But I can see you just fine, are you perhaps blind?" You look at him with distaste as you stand up lazily throwing the fork in his direction. “You’re so weird.”

 

Illumi looked like a kicked puppy, “I don’t know what was strange, you chose to insinuate that you were jealous of me giving physical pleasure to another woman.” There was a knock on the door and a tall man with a mustache walked in. “What is it Gotoh?” Illumi asks, facing the man. Gotoh takes in your disheveled appearance and Illumi’s rare lack of that ugly ass jacket and smirks. “Look OG I don't know what you're thinking but that ain’t it.” you say rolling your eyes before walking into a closet to see what you could possibly wear. 

 

Illumi looks at you with an eyebrow raised, “What is an Oh Gii? Is it a term of endearment?” You look at Illumi for a while before giving him a thumbs-up, “Yeah totally.” Gotoh pushed his glasses up doing his best to contain his amusement. “Your mother and father request a meeting with you and your fiance.” Illumi nods and Gotoh takes his exit. 

 

You pull out an outfit that looks similar to what Illumi was wearing but instead of green it was red. “That'll work.” you mutter flinching as you feel arms wrap around your waist and you feel Illumi rest his head on your shoulder. “I am quite fond of you Oh Gee.” 

 

You have to close your eyes and take deep breaths in order to keep in the laughter threatening to exit your lips.

Much to Illumi’s outward displeasure yet obvious pleasure, you and him were wearing the same thing. Although his vest was tightly hugging your chest and the pants were getting ready to bust from your ass. You two walked down the corridor in silence as you took in the navy blue walls that adorned the hallways. “I mean, knowing what you people do I wasn't expecting to see any loving family photos but how do ya’ll not get depressed with all this nothingness.” Illumi gazes forward but pulls out a small parchment. “I prefer to carry family memories.” 

 

Illumi holds out a small photo to you. You look at it and it appears to be a child Illumi with his father in the woods. Ordinarily, this would be a sweet and endearing photo if not for the fact that Illumi was covered in blood splatter. “This was my first kill.” You quickly handed back the photo and chuckled awkwardly. “How cute a child murderer.” Illumi nodded, “Grandma thought so too.” 

 

You silently prayed that someone, anyone would come to get you from this nightmare.

 

Illumi opens the double doors and allows you to walk in first. The room was much more lively than the halls but still managed to not look out of place. The room was a deep orange with golds everywhere from the linen to very abstract paintings placed in gold frames.

 

Sitting on a large pillow was Illumi’s mother and if they had your way, your mother-in-law. Illumi’s father of course sat next to her, broad-chested and overall intimidating. “I bet his dick is small.” you mutter trying to ignore how fast Illumi turned his head to gaze at you.  “Illumi my son, come, come, sit!’ The woman cried, throwing her arms in the air in a welcoming manner. Illumi sat down.

 

You continued to stand because there was no obvious pillow for you to sit on. “Umm.” you scratched the back of your head before walking close to Illumi to sit. “No need for you to sit my dear, you will be leaving soon anyway.” you raised your eyebrow at that and couldn’t help but feel a chill go down your back. “W-What does that mean sir?” you ask. To your left, a small man in a lab coat walked from behind a door holding a clipboard. “We are ready sir.” he says not looking at you the entire time

 

“Y/N can you please go with him.” Illumi orders not even giving room for objection. You put your hand on your hip slapping away the hand the little man offered to you. “Like hell, I’m just going with Dr. Frankenstein over here without having any information!” Illumi sighed, having the audacity to look embarrassed. “You chose yourself a feisty one, my son.” Silva chuckled looking at you with a gleam in his eyes that made you thoroughly uncomfortable.”Illumi!” you warned, tapping your foot on the carpet. “More like obnoxious.” you could hear Kikyo mutter but you were too pressed with Illumi to care.

 

“It is understandable Illumi, I’m sure she would be more comfortable with her husband present during the examination.” You tapped your foot faster, getting anxious at the words 'examination.' 

After a long pause, Illumi get’s up and follows you into the next room. This room was ordinarily dull. The floor was hardwood but the walls seemed to be adorned with expensive fabrics. “Miss if you will, can you roll up your shirt so I can draw blood.” You jerk your head at Illumi who simply looked blankly at you. 

 

Seeing no other choice you roll up your sleeve but before the doctor could put the needle within you, you freaked out and stopped him before holding your hand out to Illumi. Illumi looked at your hand before recognition set in his eyes. He leaned forward and gave you a high-five. “My brother Killua taught me that.” You put a tight smile on your face before reaching over and grabbing the nearest object and throwing it at Illumi’s head satisfied as it hits him square in the jaw.

 

“No dumbass, hold my hand.” you responded. Illumi opened his mouth to say something but decided against it before taking your hand into his. Illumi’s hands were unsurprisingly cold considering how pale he was. The fingers were thin, long, and too delicate to belong to someone that takes lives for a living. You couldn’t quite help but laugh at how your skin tones concentrated so drastically, it was almost comical.

 

Before you knew it the blood work was done but you still didn’t let go of Illumi’s hand fearing what was to come next. “Please take off your clothes.” You Look at the doctor for a second before slowly sliding out of the chair and bolting for the door. Before you could make it you feel the neck of your vest being jerked back. “Don’t make this difficult please.” Illumi sighed. 

 

“Hey you're not the one being asked to strip in a strange place.” Illumi shook his head, “Would you like it if I striped you instead of the doctor?” You smacked him on the back of his head, “No with your weird-ass!” 

 

In the end, you kicked Illumi outside and found yourself propped up in a chair as the doctor took swabs in your cooter much to your discomfort. Illumi comes back in by the time you finally put your pants on and you follow him and the doctor back to the original room. 

 

“How did it go doctor?” Silva asks and as you come closer you notice a large pillow sat out for you. “I’ll have you know my findings are quite peculiar. This woman seems to be a second nen ability within her but it’s dormant. This only happens with twins when one consumes the other.” You knew this fact, your momma always joked about how you were so hungry as a child that you ate your sister. “And what else.” Kikyo said, opening a hand fan impatient. “Is the girl barren and therefore of no use to us?!” 

 

“Oh you won’t have to worry about Illumi’s ability to produce children, this woman is extremely fertile. In fact, I’m sure all it would take would be one time. There is also a high chance they could produce a white-haired offspring.” Your eyes widened, Kids? What the hell are they talking about, it’s been 3 days do you not get a got damn orientation? Silva held his chin in thought, “Though I do not doubt Killua’s loyalty, it’s always good to have a backup.” 

 

You stood up and headed out the door as fast as you could, fists clenched. “Back up my ass, I ain’t having no brat with any of you people!” You walk down the hall, having no intention in mind highly doubting that you could make it to any exit without this damned family allowing you to. “Who the hell are you?” You hear a voice down the hall coming from a small boy with white hair. ‘This must be Killua.” You thought as you continued to walk past him, “A bad bitch who doesn't need no weird-ass fish-eyed man.”

 

Before you take another step, you hear a loud sound coming towards you, “Get out of the way!” Killua said, pushing you against the wall. There is a loud crack then footsteps, “Hello Killua.”  You heard Illumi’s monotone voice say as he comes to be in front of you. Reaching above your head, Illumi picks out one of his pins from the wall behind you. “The hell was that Illumi!’ both you and Killua yell out, pointing an accusatory finger at the man in question.

 

“I see you’ve met my bride.” Illumi continues ignoring the situation. “It was good to see you again, finally tired of your ‘friend’?” Killua scoffed, “No, I’m here because dad called me.” he shrugs, putting his hands in his pockets and walking away, “Hey!” you look up at Killua who had his hand raised in a wave, “Sorry for your loss.”

 

Illumi crowds you back into your shared room with more force than necessary. “Hey watch it!” you snap shaking your shoulder out of his grip. “You embarrassed me in front of my mother.” He replied blandly. You roll your eyes, “Well sorry for you pretty boy, but I have bigger fish to fry.” Illumi looked around the room slowly, “I swear to god if you say-” “What fish?” You groan plopping on the bed burying your face into the sheets. 

 

In your own world, you ignore the feeling of the bed sink, but you do not ignore the crotched pressed into your ass. “What in the hell do you think your doing nigga?!’ you say not in the mood whatsoever. “What is a ni-” you swing your hand behind you and attempt to slap Illumi in the face only for him to grab it and press it into the sheets above you. You begin to feel uneasy, “What are you doing fish eyes!?” You attempt to lift your hips but he secured them with his own. “Considering the results, I say that now is a perfect time to start consummating.

#black y/n #blackreader #illumi zoldyck #illumi #illumi x reader #hunter x 2011 #hunter x hunter

[raleighliving]

Raleigh Apartment Culture

So I'm of the mind that Raleigh is a great place to live. It has my favorite things, my favorite people, and I'm too broke to move anywhere else.

Raleigh works for me, but I recognize it doesn't work for everyone. Some people had less than ideal childhoods and wanna escape the state ASAP, some just want to live closer to their dream jobs or have new opportunities. That's all fine, but what if this describes where you are now?

What if, for the sake of argument, you're outside of NC and wanna move in? Moving is expensive, time-consuming, and risky at the best of times; so you wanna make sure that wherever you're landing is at least as good as where you started 90% of the time

"But RL," I hear you say, "you make Raleigh sound like an idyllic dreamscape populated with parks and a diverse kumbayah of peoples living in harmony"

I do talk about Raleigh in a positive light but, like a life saving medicine flavored like ass, sometimes you have to take the good with the bad.

So before you spend thousands of dollars on moving vans, boxes, and grits; here's a crash course on what it's like living in a Raleigh apartment, coming from someone whose majority of Raleigh Living (heh) has been in apartments.

First off, location. Any realtor will tell you that location is 80% of the sale to sound profound, and as anyone who has lived in the middle of ass-backward nowhere can tell you: It sucks having to drive 30 minutes to go anywhere.

Good news: With the Raleigh Beltline and connecting roads, there are very few places in Raleigh where your trip will last longer than thirty minutes one-way. Bad News: where you set down still matters because cutting down on travel is important for car and mental health.

North Raleigh is different from south Raleigh is different from northwest Raleigh, and the locals aren't the only difference you'll find between locations. Each segment of Raleigh has something to offer, with easier access to some attractions than others and neighboring cities for when you need something outside the RDU area.

Using downtown as the center of our wheel, people generally divide Raleigh into North and South Raleigh (with distinction given for NW, SE, NE, etc when needed). N.Raleigh is considered generally more upscale, a slice of suburban living interspersed with plenty of shopping centers for families and the moderately wealthy; but it's boring as all hell.

Want some fun? Excitement in the evenings and a more traditional urban experience with bars, night clubs, strip clubs, and more? South Raleigh is your best bet, at the cost of being the "sketchy" side of Raleigh. That kind of place where you'll see a bunch of auto shops that look abandoned but haven't been closed in the past 5 years and there's at least one customer from time to time.

Of course, this is a lot of generalizing but you'll find that it's still mostly accurate. The main exception in this is Capital Blvd, a highway cutting across north and south Raleigh on the eastern half of the city; a high crime corridor that's undergoing some changes in the northern half that have (somewhat) reduced crime but most people will still associate that area with the majority of Raleigh's crime and debauchery.

More importantly, is the distinction Raleigh citizens put on inside the beltline versus outside the beltline. The I-440 and 540 highways that wrap around Downtown form the mythical beltline, and to a degree what you have access to. Inside the beltline is the majority of workplaces, stores, and shopping centers; while outside you'll still have these things just to a more... dispersed extent.

North Raleigh actually kinda exemplifies this perfectly. Living inside the beltline, you have access to places like North Hills, Crabtree Valley mall, and Triangle Town Center. Live outside the beltline, like I currently am, and you're looking at 10 to 15 minutes to the nearest sheetz for that late night double hot dog fix.

So for point one: How important is it that you're near things? The majority of apartments and rental properties are in or around the belt-line, but if you want to save some cash on rent checks the cheaper properties are gonna extend your trips a bit.

Next, what can you expect in terms of neighbors? Does Raleigh have a hip party scene full of teens renting cheap apartments and blasting trap music at 3AM?

Depends on where you live

I swear not every point is going to be this, but there's an important distinction this time that affects the type of people your complex will likely have surrounding you; are you in North or South Raleigh?

North Raleigh has a ton of pre-schools, k-12 public schools (Leesville, Hillburn, Lead Mine, just to name a few), and office complexes that make up the job market. As a result the majority of apartment renters in north Raleigh tend to be families with a few small kids or so.

As a result, living off of Glenwood North and Edwards Mill I never had any noise problems from neighbors, the worst being kids playing outside at 3PM sounding like they were being murdered (which apparently is a common thing and I apologize to any neighbors I frightened with ghastly shrieks).

What I did have a problem with, however, was the typical Karen's you hear people complain about online. Renting a property now, we have access to our neighborhood's NextDoor page and it's hilarious sometimes to go on and read the comments, but living at a certain property we had a sort of mini-Facebook for residents

That thing was always full of either people who were moving out looking to sell their furniture or people passive-aggressively challenging each other/the apartment managers with comments about things happening around the complex.

Once I logged in to see one man accuse another, without ever actually accusing someone specific ("I know who did it and they should be ashamed" type post) of putting glass beer bottles under the tires of his truck to try and puncture them. Everyone acts civil in public, but then online they'll stir the pot harder than a chef with a hand mixer.

South Raleigh, you have the schools like Shaw University, Meredith, and NCSU; so the people renting down there are typically college kids. You'll see more apartments that cater towards them like University Village or University Woods, but sometimes these places will cater to both college kids and working adults

Avoid these places like the plague, because despite sometimes having a lower cost to live there the neighbors and their shenanigans will drive you up the wall (unless you're the type to join in, then go wild).

I've had friends stay at places like University Village and The Proper (formerly The Vie, formerly Wolf Creek) who've shared horror stories. 3AM parties ending in property damage or vomit in inconvenient places, drug deals not even trying to be subtle, and maintenance workers doing nothing because regardless of the apartment conditions; no school's gonna pull their contract with them unless news articles start getting written.

http://www.technicianonline.com/news/article_898ddf34-82f5-11e7-b3d8-07059d248619.html

https://www.wral.com/vie-at-raleigh-residents-finally-able-to-move-into-clean-units/16887833/

http://www.technicianonline.com/news/article_ea8ed7aa-a092-11e8-a2af-e70af36566d0.html

Otherwise, south Raleigh apartments are largely like north Raleigh apartments; except the crime rate tends to be a little higher and you'll run into more singles and people working full time.

Otherwise, Raleigh apartment culture is like apartment culture anywhere else in the country. You have a mix of apartments catering to those just looking to live versus more ostentatious luxury apartments with fancy pools, exercise facilities, and tech packages to draw people in.

If you're renting in Raleigh, however, do try to get a roommate or two if you can manage. Even with a decent job paying 800+ on a one bedroom one bath apartment can be exhausting at best, but with even one other person that can functionally halve your expenses

So if you're a young professional, or a student, or even if you have a small family, I can safely recommend renting in Raleigh. There's plenty of places that'll accommodate you, and cater towards your needs.

But what about everyone else? Are there people who shouldn't rent in Raleigh?

No

But there are groups who I'd seriously ask to consider their other choices before picking Raleigh as a destination for their new home.

For instance, are you a member of the LGBT community? A trans or non-binary individual? Well then, first off, I want you to know that you're loved and valid. I'm accepting of who you are and appreciate everyone's right to identify how they choose, but I'm not everyone.

Raleigh's bluer than other parts of North Carolina, as I've stated in other blog write-ups, but it's still part of North Carolina unfortunately and as a result, you'll face some challenges.

I doubt anyone's gonna burn a cross in your yard or knock over your mailbox, but Raleigh doesn't offer LGBT protections for housing, jobs, or credit/lending discriminations according to the Movement Advancement Project's website.

We have support organizations for LGBT and NB individuals, plenty of high schools and colleges have Gay-Straight Alliance clubs, and there are numerous businesses downtown that cater specifically to those individuals... but we're also the state that got into a lot of hot water because of a stupid bathroom bill, and our politicians are trying to pass anti-trans sports legislation (because they now magically care about the integrity of womens sports).

By that measure, but to a lesser extent, if you fall outside the Liberal/Conservative political spectrum then be prepared to have no one to discuss your politics with outside of a few sparse networks like the DSA.

Additionally, if you don't have someone to room with or a significant other to split costs with; you may want to try searching somewhere a little cheaper.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Raleigh housing prices aren't terrible for a major metropolitan city, but we're not the best prices in the world.

You can get prices on apartments and rentals lower than say, California or New York. However, compared to other parts of NC like Greensboro or Garner; rentals are still a bit much.

On average, a Raleigh apartment can run you about $900 for a single bedroom and a single bathroom. You can find cheaper, but often times there's some risk associated (Crime levels, quality of the room, quality of the property manager, etc.) Looking for a two bedroom? Then your average price is gonna jump up to around $1,200, and this is all before utilities and cable come into play.

It's true a lot of companies around here will pay more than the $7.25 minimum wage, but most low-skilled jobs will pay around 10-11 an hour.

I guess though, that's kind of an obvious statement. "Don't live in Raleigh if you can't afford to live in Raleigh."

I might expand on these thoughts at a later time, but hopefully for now I've given you some food for thought; or at the very least an entertaining read for a few minutes.

I love my city, and I love the friends I've made in it, but the sad truth is that nowhere is perfect for everyone; leastways Raleigh. If Raleigh sounds like the kind of place you'd like to live in, at least take a day trip to come visit and see how things go that way. Visit some stores, meet some locals, and form an opinion off of more than travel blogs and youtube videos.

#raleigh #North Carolina #NC #north carolina #travel #photography #urban photography #city life #city #city of raleigh #advice

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Fraze

Bea: What are you going to wear to Ro's birthday? Fraze: Pick whatever you like for this fantasy where I'm going Bea: You have to Bea: you have no excuse not to Fraze: I don't need an excuse now that I'm too big for my ma, or da come to that, to drag me anywhere Fraze: I don't wanna, I don't have to, end of Bea: It's still family regardless of anyone's ability to literally make you Bea: anyway, she needs the numbers Fraze: I don't hear her begging Bea: She's not about to, is she Bea: you know what she's like Fraze: And you know where to find me when you've had enough of what she's like Bea: Well if you must know I don't think I'll bother to come back either then Bea: why should I make any effort Fraze: 'Cause you had a solid enough argument there with the family obligation bullshit, even if you lost it with the part about keeping numbers up Bea: Joe isn't coming, you aren't Bea: so fuck it, clearly Fraze: She ain't our sister, she's yours Bea: Seriously Fraze: Come on Fraze: I know you didn't expect a different answer Bea: You know literally nothing Bea: How can I lecture her about being part of this family if that's how you feel Bea: and how can I expect her to feel like a part of it if she isn't, apparently, for fuck's sake Fraze: She is with the rest of them, don't start Fraze: How can I act like it's all that black and white when the only thing that is, is how I feel about you? Fraze: we've been over it Bea: You can't pick and choose Bea: that's not how this is meant to work Fraze: Well it's too fucking late Fraze: I already did Bea: Great, so she gets to be right Bea: fantastic, thanks Fraze: What do you want me to do? I can't unlove you Fraze: I have tried, like Bea: Have you? Fraze: What was most of our childhood if not that? Bea: This isn't relevant Bea: I need someone there Fraze: You asked, I gave you an answer Fraze: she's got Ali and Tommy, that other one he used to dance with Bea: Because I can ask any of them what she was like and get an honest answer Bea: there's a divide, you said it Fraze: You'll get a brutally honest answer off ma if that's what you want Bea: I want you to do this one thing for me Fraze: is that as nice as you're gonna ask? Bea: I'm not playing games Bea: I'm not in the mood Fraze: Christ's sake Fraze: alright then Bea: Thanks Fraze: whatever, I'll do it for the pleasure of you owing me Bea: you can check my calendar to cash that in Fraze: give me a chance to check my own first, Red Bea: I assume you have a handle on your own schedule Fraze: I ain't never been able to stop your assumptions Bea: You should be grateful I'm giving you that props Fraze: Oh cheers Bea: You're welcome Fraze: yeah, open arms at this party Bea: I doubt she's got a candle for you Bea: you'll avoid that Fraze: Jesus Bea: Yep Fraze: I ain't going to church, fuck that Bea: I think only Ali is doing that anyway Fraze: gutted she still ain't getting sainted for her patience Bea: Pretty sure you have to be dead for years before they get 'round to it Fraze: Trust you to know that, babe Bea: It's common knowledge Bea: Teresa was an exception Fraze: common knowledge to cunts thinking that far ahead Fraze: let me get to grips with my fucking uni schedule Bea: You gave yourself away Fraze: you wish Bea: I'll take my props away now Bea: You've been back nearly a month Fraze: And I've had fuck all to do, it ain't Cambs Bea: All the more time to work out your schedule Fraze: Worry about your own Bea: I am Fraze: You gave yourself away there Bea: Ha Fraze: you're not in the mood, I heard you the first time Bea: Good Bea: I'll leave you to it then Fraze: Alright Bea: [Skippity skip?] Fraze: [makes sense] Bea: [okay, turn up with ya BFF as a hot ass mess to this stale ass party] Fraze: [he'd be shook and fuming in equal measure, imagine his face please] Bea: [aren't we all tbh like join Ro at that table lol] Fraze: You could've said something Bea: I posted on my stories Fraze: Like I said Bea: It wasn't planned Fraze: And it ain't the longest plane ride but you had enough time to tell me you were coming Fraze: it becomes a plan once you've bought a ticket, like Bea: Hardly, it's not like it sells out, or there isn't one an hour later if it does Bea: we turned up, end of Fraze: You know what I mean Fraze: I turned up here for you, the least you could've done was said I didn't have to Bea: I'm late, so I did need you here Fraze: what's his excuse? Bea: ? Fraze: Why do you need him here? Bea: He suggested I come Bea: I still wasn't sure Fraze: hand holding then Fraze: how sweet Bea: Fuck off Bea: She's my sister, I should be here, regardless of how unwelcome I am or want to be Fraze: gladly Fraze: and yeah, no shit, I told you that Bea: It's not an original concept Bea: is this all the people that showed or have people left? Fraze: I'll be the first out the door Bea: Tragic Fraze: What else did you expect? Bea: She was making such a fuss I thought perhaps she'd put a bit more effort in this time Fraze: only setting yourself up with that kind of thinking, babe Bea: More her problem than mine Fraze: Yours if you care Bea: Whatever you're trying to imply with that is stupid either way Fraze: I'm not implying anything, I said it in a dead straightforward manner Bea: Either that I do or don't care Fraze: I know you care, you wouldn't be here if you didn't Bea: If I cared I would have just showed up Fraze: you have Bea: Not before telling her I wouldn't and having an argument so Fraze: Exactly, you didn't have to and you still did Fraze: she ain't gonna appreciate it and it weren't easy for you in any sense Fraze: so you care and you're fucked by it, end of Bea: Nah Fraze: Yeah Bea: I literally just wanted to piss her off but alright Fraze: that's an added bonus Bea: If you like, Fraze Fraze: it ain't about me Fraze: but you can have pissing me off too if you like Bea: Why would you be pissed off at me Fraze: Think it through like you reckon you ain't fuck all else Bea: You were meant to be here regardless Bea: and now you can go Bea: nothing lost Fraze: it's nothing to do with any of that Bea: I'm not in the mood for guessing games either Bea: tell me or don't Fraze: Forget it Bea: Alright Bea: enjoy the rest of your evening then Fraze: I'll take my odds of that over yours Bea: I'll survive Fraze: I know Fraze: my offer still stands though Bea: I'm just here to see Ro Fraze: You're leaving tomorrow then? Bea: tonight by the looks of this Fraze: Yeah Fraze: I doubt it'll be a late one Bea: Surprised she's still here honestly Fraze: I'm surprised any of this went ahead in the first place Bea: Sure she's been planning it since her last Fraze: don't mean she wouldn't cry off it on the night Bea: You can go tell her you're proud of her if you want Fraze: fuck off Bea: 😏 Fraze: [IRL 😏 at her] Bea: [LOOK back] Fraze: [always gotta return a LOOK] Bea: [but go get a drink with Bronson, obviously] Fraze: [go get your own because you're fuming at that and also I need a reason for you not to leave thank you] Bea: [you can force Tommy to dance with you and dance with Bronson] Fraze: [just like 👀😒 downing this drink haha] Fraze: [we both know he's eventually cutting in though there's only so much looking on either of them can take] Bea: [saying something about not dancing with Fearghal and Rocky yet like wait ya turn but 😏 again] Fraze: [we're having this moment ™ because this party is too dry to deal with] Bea: [you wanna see some romance hen] Fraze: [giving Laoise's brother ideas and the confidence to 💋 with their energy LOL] Bea: [I snorted, oh lord] Fraze: [like we said before, going from that long summer to nothing when they're back at uni would be a killer so the vibe is strong] Bea: [excuse us everyone that'll be awkward to see for you] Fraze: [I hope y'all are busy having your own fun and in Ro's case getting smooched so] Bea: [y'all be trying anyway, God bless] Fraze: [mcvickers having their own dance because they don't wanna be here either, awww] Bea: [das cute] Fraze: [we should've given Laoise a little sister for Rocky to have a childhood romance with, that would've been so cute cos the fams hate each other] Fraze: [maybe there can be a girl at the caravan park cos always there with his bff Carly] Bea: [I like that idea, v cute] Fraze: [look at me getting derailed as per] Bea: [my bubba] Fraze: [go get another drink and calm down a shade please boy] Bea: [you could get away with this extraness if it wasn't such a dry party alas hensss, I should probaby think about what present you're throwing at Ro] Fraze: Do you want me to tell you I'm proud of you then or what? Bea: For what? Fraze: Doing the dance rounds, how well you wrapped that gift, take your pick Bea: I don't think that'll make me feel any better, but you go ahead if it will you Fraze: Nah, not really Bea: Don't bother then Fraze: consider it not done Bea: Then we're all happy Fraze: No need to take the bullshit that far Bea: That's what her happy face looks like Fraze: Christ Bea: Told you it was tragic Fraze: I didn't dispute it Bea: Do you know the neighbour kids name? Fraze: Is that a trick question? Bea: Um, no Bea: I want to look him up Fraze: 'Course I fucking don't Bea: 🙄 you're so helpful Bea: bet you know the sister's name Fraze: don't be placing bets about me and girls my sister's age Bea: Lighten up it's not like she's a kid Fraze: She was Ali's friend when she was a kid, hardly a turn on seeing her trying to catch frogs or cast spells Fraze: but cheers for your permission Bea: Unlike our sisters, respectively, I'm sure she's grown up some since then Fraze: Like I said, don't bet on it Bea: Whatever, I don't wanna fuck her Fraze: Me either Bea: Cool Fraze: [go and do your theft of the church wine boy because this party is still not it] Bea: [go find him but under the guise/that's not a total lie doe of needing a fucking break] Fraze: [have another moment in that confined space] Bea: [drink that nasty wine, not even asking just taking it] Fraze: [letting it happen cos she needs it more than you tbh] Bea: [swigging way too much of the blood of christ before passing it back with a shrug like whoops, so soz] Fraze: [giving her a look like steady on like this wasn't your idea] Bea: ['you act like you come up with every plan' ref-ing to doing this as kids, obvs] Fraze: ['I do' that's a barefaced lie sir] Bea: [scoffs like oh please] Fraze: [scoffs himself to show what he thinks of her ideas in reference to this messy uni era that he's acting like she's solely responsible for] Bea: [takes the bottle back like if you're gonna be like that] Fraze: [takes it off her so he can actually get some] Bea: ['you did not have all the good ideas'] Fraze: ['Alright, you can credit him one for bringing you'] Bea: ['I thought you reckoned that was your idea too'] Fraze: ['Point is, it weren't yours'] Bea: [🙄 'I'm fine with being here not being my idea, tah'] Fraze: ['Unlike me being here' like there you go another bad idea] Bea: ['doesn't bother me' like unlucky] Fraze: ['You came to find me, not the other way round, babe'] Bea: ['I came to get away from everyone else, there's a difference'] Fraze: [looks around like there's loads of places to do that which is true cos there's literally no-one at this party] Bea: ['if you want me to go, say it'] Fraze: ['If I did, I would'] Bea: [a look like shut up then] Fraze: [shakes his head in an affectionate way like fuck knows why I want you around] Bea: [just like likewise with her everything] Fraze: [offers her a 🚬 like they're not indoors in the tiny priest cupboard] Bea: ['a way to get more guests' like when the firemen show Fraze: [a fearghal style big lol 'see, I'm full of good ideas'] Bea: [can't help but smile even if we're like mhmm] Fraze: [smiling because we made her smile, it's a lil moment] Bea: ['why haven't you left?' but soft not like accusatory or like get out] Fraze: [looking at her like you know why and we're stealing her words ''if you want me to go, say it' in a tone which obvs makes it clear that's not what we want] Bea: [says nothing to say it all] Fraze: [turn that look into a LOOK boy] Bea: ['why are you mad at me?' whilst casually getting on his lap to make sure he can't be] Fraze: ['why did you have to bring him here?' but everyone knows he's not that mad anymore because she's literally in here with you sir, priorities] Bea: ['see what you'd do' like we're joking but not not true either, just tracing all his features with your finger right now like it's been FOREVER since you saw each other] Fraze: [There's a time and a place' like I'm not gonna beat the shit out of him at this fam function even though I want to but also please don't bring him to fam functions ever again thank you] Bea: ['Maybe I didn't feel like being alone'] Fraze: ['You're not' pulling her even closer to him for emphasis] Bea: [a NOISE like 'scuse me 'not now'] Fraze: ['you're not alone ever' could sound creepy but we mean it in a loving and supportive way] Bea: [a look like we both know that's not true] Fraze: [a look like we both know it's always gonna be me and you, no matter what] Bea: [shakes head like that's not what I mean/the point] Fraze: [softly cups her face so they have all the eye contact like I mean it but you can still tell me what you mean] Bea: ['if we weren't ever alone, none of this would be happening'] Fraze: ['I don't regret that this is' like we're joking about being in this priest cupboard having a throwback moment but we're also saying that we're glad she's here and glad of any time we have rn so] Bea: [shaking our head and breaking eye contact as we get off him] Fraze: ['Shit's always gonna happen, we can't stop it' you can't save anyone vibes 'I only know one way that comes close, like'] Bea: ['what's that then?' but we're already not listening properly and getting up to go] Fraze: [a KISS to stop her in her tracks because it's that, like they are stopping time for a sec] Bea: [have your moment lads enjoy it been a long time coming] Fraze: [literally would feel like it's been forever anyway and even moreso because they are both having a shit time rn] Bea: [you can't get carried away, I vote the fun people at this party start playing hide and seek so you gotta break it up hens] Fraze: [I love that because I would suggest murder in the dark cos spooky girl energy but Ro's scared of the dark so we can't until she has left] Bea: [lol it's so against your everything to be scared of the dark that amuses me] Fraze: [she would play hide and seek though if only to get away from her bf] Bea: [so lowkey everyone will be playing therefore you must play lol] Fraze: [literally because Rocky, Ali and Carly have probably made mcvickers play by ganging up on them haha] Bea: [the entire guestlist hen, everyone else would be down, soz baze looooooooooooooooooollllllllllll] Fraze: [he's so just staying in this priest cupboard and we all know it] Bea: [such an obvious place boy you'll be seeking so soon, you better go find Bronson hun] Fraze: [likewise will just go for a 🚬 when he's supposed to be finding people because we're playing under duress] Bea: [we know you don't need to keep this close a watch on him like he'll be down but you know, moment gone here] Fraze: [good luck acting like you're not fuming that she went straight to him even though staying with you wasn't really an option] Bea: [this should be made into/they should play a different team game and be on opposite teams 'cos so competitive] Fraze: [always a mood so I 100% agree] Bea: [like idk what but take it way too seriously when no one else is lol] Fraze: [literally does not matter because like you said nobody else cares and you two are just on your bullshit, who should we say wins?] Bea: [i think firstly it's who gets Ro] Fraze: [he should because we don't need a beeline brawl] Bea: [you can have Rocky then Bea as they are equally as big a handicap so that's fair] Fraze: [lbr nobody is as big a handicap as Ro but he can have Ali who's great at everything to balance that out] Bea: [then she should have Tommy and Carly and he should have Bronson and Kayne] Bea: [Meena go where you like lol] Fraze: [he will be THRILLED to have Bronson on his team lol] Bea: [ha I know, like did that so you have some decent peeps but also for the awks] Fraze: [please don't brawl lads we can't be having that] Bea: [focus on winning, Fraze probably should] Fraze: [yeah otherwise he'll sulk haha] Bea: [and he already is so that would be rude] Fraze: [true enough] Bea: congrats Fraze: Say it like you mean it Bea: I don't so you know Bea: forced sportsmanship is all you're getting Fraze: come on, babe Bea: shut up Fraze: Don't be a sore loser Bea: you're so annoying Fraze: Nah, that was the team I had Bea: like mine was any better Fraze: Like you wouldn't rather have your sister, who you reckon you're just here to see, and your boyfriend Bea: I've seen her Bea: if you're hoping for a reunion beyond that, I'd stop Fraze: If you reckon that's even crossed my mind, you're losing your touch at more than kid's party games Bea: I'm saying I reckon that was a poor attempt at a dig, is all Fraze: you started it, like Bea: did I fuck Fraze: what else do you call that piss poor attempt at a congrats? Bea: sportsmanship Bea: I told you Fraze: Bullshit Bea: 🙄 fine, don't accept it Fraze: I don't Bea: so don't Fraze: Alright Bea: [drinking moodily like 😒] Fraze: [go for a smoke and calm down boy] Bea: [thank the lord this shit show is winding down, reminds me] Bea: Did Ro and Ali just walk past you? Fraze: Yeah, she said she's taking her home Bea: Wow Bea: I thought they were getting air, or some other stupid thing for another stupid ritual Bea: is she for real Fraze: Are you really that surprised? Bea: Pissed off and surprised aren't the same thing Bea: she actually got me to fly out Bea: for this Fraze: Do you want me to go after 'em? They only just went past Bea: No Bea: it's her party to ditch Fraze: at least you can too now though Bea: yeah, I really fancy the airport right now Bea: never mind getting back to Cambs just in time for rush hour Bea: fuck this Fraze: Then don't go to the airport Bea: This has been a massive waste of time Fraze: Cheers Bea: Come on Bea: you didn't want to come either Fraze: when I thought you weren't Bea: no, and before Fraze: Come on Bea: find you when I was done, if I recall Fraze: whatever, that's not the same as you shitting over all my attempts to make this bearable for you Bea: because you tried really hard to do that Fraze: obviously not hard enough, yeah? Bea: You said it, not me Fraze: Fuck's sake Fraze: forget it Bea: Done Fraze: Grand Bea: ['cos what you really need is to go out and get messier, lol, so rude not even gonna help everyone else clean up this shitshow] Fraze: [we all know he ain't staying to help either soz lads] Bea: [lol @ everyone else doing that work] Fraze: [do you wanna skip to later when they are both messier or go straight to the aftermath of this if she's going to the hotel?] Bea: [I vote still go home 'cos wasted enough money coming here it isn't like student funds goes that far Ro, gotta save for xmas too] Fraze: [honestly legit Ro you rude hoe] Bea: [we don't even need to be getting a travelodge honey, the sofa can stay so yes, we can skip] Fraze: [oh the joys, you messy bitches, so tempted to have him bring someone back for the drama] Bea: [that would kick off big time 'cos he's not allowed people at theirs 'cos it's their bed and she'd have to burn it lol, but he could not come back for drama but less than that if you wanna] Fraze: [good idea we don't wanna cause Bea to have a breakdown] Bea: [like I assumed you didn't wanna go that far lmao] Fraze: [I'm not that evil] Bea: you got your keys Fraze: I don't need 'em Bea: you aren't here, I had to go in and get some PJs Fraze: you don't need my permission to go in your own room Bea: I know, but I know you aren't back yet, is my point Fraze: By the time I am ma or da will be up, was my point Bea: alright Bea: I'm locking the backdoor too, as we're in the lounge Fraze: Don't be stupid Fraze: there's an empty bed, there's no point you sleeping on the sofa Bea: I've not slept in worse places Bea: it'd be rude to leave him on his own Fraze: and you wouldn't wanna be rude to him Bea: obviously not Fraze: obviously not Bea: How gone are you? Jesus Bea: well I've told you, so don't come through waking everybody up later Fraze: I've told you I won't Bea: you don't need my permission Fraze: I'm not asking for it Bea: then go do whatever you're doing Fraze: We can't even talk now Fraze: this plan of yours is fucking epic, like Bea: If you wanted to talk right now, you wouldn't be wherever the fuck you are Fraze: Nah, if you wanted to talk I wouldn't be Bea: 'cos that makes any sense Fraze: you couldn't leave fast enough, how else do you want me to take that? Bea: that wasn't about you Fraze: I never said it was, I said you don't want to talk to me Bea: would I have specifically taken a flight to come talk to you, when I'll be back for Christmas in a month? no, probably not Bea: that hardly means I don't want to talk to you Fraze: Do it then Bea: that's how conversation works now Bea: you demand it, I jump at the chance? Fraze: at least I'm making demands Bea: really Bea: how's that working out for you? Fraze: as well as the opposite is for you Bea: I don't want to talk to you, apparently Bea: nothing to not demand Fraze: you reckon you apparently do, there's loads to demand Bea: yeah, 'cos talking in circles with you right now is really thrilling Fraze: Thank Christ you've got him to talk to Bea: he's asleep Fraze: that makes sense if fuck all else does Fraze: 'course you'd leave it til then to say anything to me Bea: because I was going to go to bed and wanted to lock the door Bea: it's not anything more or less than that Fraze: so go to bed Bea: yeah, you aren't telling me what to do Fraze: I'm telling you to do yourself a favour Bea: you say what you like Bea: I don't care Fraze: I don't need your permission for that either Bea: then say something worth hearing or piss off and leave me alone Fraze: I meant what I fucking said, I don't wanna leave you alone Bea: Well good job because I am Bea: and no one has said fuck all to me today about it Bea: not even my sister Fraze: I'm sorry Bea: Yeah Bea: you've got loads to say? bullshit Fraze: There's fuck all I can say about this, we both know that Bea: No, there's fuck all you want to say about it Bea: 'cos no one wants to talk about it, so I don't get to regardless of if I might Fraze: Don't Fraze: you know me better than that Bea: Well why ain't you then? Bea: you're the one banging on about it, as if you've actually tried Fraze: I don't wanna be the cunt backing you into a corner and I know you better than to reckon that'd work Bea: This is working amazing then, alright Fraze: Well I reckoned you'd eventually come to me, more fool me Fraze: shit's changed Bea: Right, 'cos you made it so obvious you were up for talking Bea: saying you weren't coming Bea: it's encouraging, my mistake there Fraze: It should be obvious that you can talk to me about anything Bea: When Bea: you aren't here now either Fraze: whenever Fraze: you know nothing's more important than you Bea: okay Fraze: Say it like you believe me Bea: I can't Fraze: Bea Bea: I'm sorry Fraze: Don't Bea: you said things have changed Fraze: 'Cause they clearly fucking have Bea: They were bound to, I suppose Fraze: you could've warned me if you knew that Bea: What do you think taking a break was Bea: for you to figure out what you wanted Fraze: Don't blame me, I know what I fucking want Bea: Do you? Fraze: nothing's changed for me Bea: you can say that Bea: but this all points to the opposite, doesn't it Fraze: Bullshit Bea: You aren't here, we can't even talk Bea: nothing's the same now Fraze: What did you expect me to do? You pissed off with him, there weren't no invite going spare Bea: because you're an arsehole to him, I drag him here for the shittest party ever and then make you two have an even worse night out? what would be the point of that? Fraze: I'm not gonna cosy up to him, you do enough of that for the both of us Bea: I get it, you don't like him, that's why you weren't invited Fraze: You brought him, knowing I don't fucking like him, don't make me the cunt Bea: I'm allowed friends, no matter if you like them or not Fraze: we're both allowed to do whatever the hell we like, I ain't forgotten the rules Bea: as I'm not fucking him, the rules have nothing to do with it Bea: I never told you to not hang out with your mates Fraze: I'm not telling you what to do either, I'm telling you why I ain't there Bea: that's ridiculous Fraze: Fuck you Bea: it is, for Christ's sake Bea: he's asleep on the sofa not fucking me on our bed Fraze: you don't believe me, why should I believe you? Fraze: it's ridiculous that you brought him here in the first place Bea: I'd have time to be messaging you Bea: you're just being stupid now Bea: how is it ridiculous? Fraze: You've already made me look stupid Fraze: did it make you feel any better? Bea: To who, your brother, my sister? Bea: I couldn't be on my own today Bea: I tried and I couldn't, that's all it is Fraze: You don't need him, you've got me Bea: I'm not meant to come to you for everything, I'm meant to give you space Bea: give each other Bea: that's what this whole thing is about Fraze: this whole thing is bullshit Fraze: and even if I reckoned it was a good idea I'm not just gonna pretend your parents didn't die today to go fuck a Trinity student Fraze: there's a time and a place, like I said Bea: Fine Bea: well he's here now, what do you want me to do about it? Bea: I can't send him home Fraze: There's fuck all you can do, other than don't lock me out Bea: I knew you didn't have your keys Fraze: you do still know me then, yeah? Bea: If you hadn't forgot, you'd have lost them Bea: should probably change the locks, honestly Fraze: if you don't keep me out, I'll keep any robbing cunts out Bea: I'm not going to lock you out Bea: you don't need to promise heroics Fraze: I know you can't sleep, I'd be a new level of callous bastard if I gave you anything else to worry about Bea: it'd be a distraction Bea: doubt your parents would appreciate it though Fraze: Well I can easily give you one of them Bea: not that you rate yourself or anything Fraze: it starts with me, yeah, no fucker else is volunteering to sing my praises right now Bea: Poor boy Fraze: Don't rub it in how skint I am as well Bea: well you and me both Bea: be eating plain rice when I get back Bea: at least your ma makes sure you have decent food still Fraze: I'll send you something to put on it Fraze: or something to drown your sorrows with Bea: where do you think all my money goes, like Fraze: you and me both, babe Fraze: these Trinity girls aren't cheap dates, like Bea: My sympathy can only extend so far Fraze: the night off from it is appreciated enough Bea: uhuh Fraze: you don't believe me, I heard you the first time Bea: it was never part of the deal that we had to talk about it Fraze: I know Bea: so I don't want to Fraze: I'm shutting up and coming in Bea: Good Fraze: come and have a drink Bea: [does, of course] Fraze: [giving her the bottle for the mems of Jesus blood and always] Bea: [take a big swig like you need to remotely lol 'thank you' with sincerity at last] Fraze: [shamelessly checking her out in whatever pjs she's wearing obvs, though I vote she's wearing at least one item that belongs to him so he's like 😏 and gently pulls on whatever it is like that's mine without saying so out loud] Bea: [deffo, and has done it without even noticing so it's like oh, raising a brow like you want it back?] Fraze: [yassssss because they are that coupley goodbye but he shakes his head because looks better on her anyway and takes the bottle instead] Bea: [even though it would've been ages since you did that it's just habit, shrugs like 😏 your loss] Fraze: [such a LOOK of course] Bea: ['where'd you go?' like where did you go drink, not WHERE WERE YOU vibes] Fraze: [telling her the name of somewhere studenty with his own shrug, I like to imagine he's like casually getting ready for bed here also as a habit because it doesn't feel awkward to just get topless or whatever] Bea: [casual face of disdain but 'makes sense'] Fraze: ['nothing happened' because even though she said she didn't wanna talk about it and neither do you, you want her to know that and you're drunk enough to just say it] Bea: ['doesn't matter if it did' blatant lie but okay] Fraze: [a look because we know it's a blatant lie but we're coming to put our arms around her cos it's been such a shit day] Bea: [big sighs] Fraze: [just having a snuggle and it will forever fuck me up cos he's so tol and she's so smol] Bea: [OG tol and smol, we mumbling into his chest like scuse you what you saying] Fraze: [she's like me and Clove, failing to thrive honey, so if you think he's not cradling her like a little Clovey you'd be incorrect] Bea: [just have this moment of softness, gotta allow it] Fraze: [very deserved and needed] Bea: ['this is such bullshit' like true but specifics where] Fraze: ['I know' because you don't need specifics cos everything is for you too like you literally thought she was slipping away from you same as Joe did and you've realised you hate uni it wasn't just 1st year being crap] Bea: [that must happen so much 'cos allegedly everyone hates 1st year but then it just carries on like oh] Fraze: [it really does happen a lot hence he's like well shit it's not that and I don't actually wanna be doing this] Bea: ['there's fuck all to do, is there?'] Fraze: [repositioning however necessary for eye contact because there's always something they can do, that's like their entire mantra and we don't need to express that with words] Bea: [gestures like ugh I know that but seriously, right now, this has been hard since this time last year] Fraze: ['if you wanna throw all these bullshit rules out, tell me' like ldr exists babe we don't have to get randoms involved] Bea: [shakes his head 'it's about what's right and needs to be done'] Fraze: [kisses her like you can't tell me this isn't right gal] Bea: her* scuse me Bea: [going in on that kiss, not just so we don't have to sort this out but you know lollollol] Fraze: [likewise allowing it and not only from the standpoint that we need them to be messy and struggling for a while yet but also because he would] Bea: [deal with some of this tension hens] Fraze: [it's the first real chance you've had so I'm not gonna stop you] Bea: [it'd be silly to say it wouldn't happen so we cannot sorry] Fraze: [exactly] Bea: [okay, so obviously we're falling asleep together and equally as obviously you still have to be back asap for school etc so you're probably leaving early AM, not just for the drama of it lol] Fraze: [makes sense but I vote he brings you breakfast in bed before Bronson wakes up because 1. cute 2. you don't have to deal with Ro who's always up ridiculously early lurking and he remembered what you said about eating rice when you get back] Bea: [you've probably not had breakfast in a thousand years so that's a novelty] Fraze: [like it probably wouldn't be good cos he'd accidentally burn the toast or whatever thanks to how messy they were last night but the romantic gesture has been attempted] Bea: [tis the thought that counts henny] Fraze: [my thoughts exactly, just trying to look after her but keep it casual so she's not 😒] Bea: [we can't get too mad over some toast, even if we'd probably try not to eat it at first like g2g] Fraze: [gal you know he can keep you in that bed, don't test him] Bea: [or do, depending how much time you've left yourselves lol] Fraze: [mhmmm] Bea: [either way, you're leaving and you're gonna be folorn] Fraze: [literally would take all his willpower to not just come with you cos uni sucks but as you've not talking about it yet and can't really have the convo now that ain't happening hun] Bea: [soz babe, not at that realisation for a while yet but you did a good job sowing seeds] Fraze: [didn't wanna go too heavy handed with it because not gonna trump dead parents but like it is happening so] Bea: [you wanna end this here or do a bit of aftermath] Fraze: [I think we've covered a lot so tbh unless there's anything we want to specifically address in the aftermath it's probably good]

[nightowlfandom]

Requested: Jungkook-Office Rivals.

HIYA! My request list is RIGHT HERE! (ALSO DO YOU LOVE SLASHER FAN FICS?! MY GOOD FRIEND MADE A TUMBLR FOR IT AND TELL HER THAT ASH FROM NIGHTOWLFANDOM SENT YOU! @slasher-fanatic LOVE YOU BOO!)

3-"Damnit, do you have any idea how amazing you are? Stop being so damn insecure!"

29-"Where the hell did you learn that?!"

34-"Don't pretend that wasn't on purpose, come here."

45-Go to sleep, I promise I'll wake you up"

54- .How stupid so you think I am?!"

(I HAD TO TYPE THIS STUPID POST FIVE TIMES OVER. I'm sorry if this is the complete opposite of what you wanted but I couldn't write this a sixth time without going into panic. Pleaseee forgive me for that.)

...

"Did you really think a trick like that would work?!" you stormed onto Jungkook's office, seething with rage. "You stole my client!"

"I wouldn't say stole, Y/N. More like convinced him that I was the better candidate. As I always am." he smirked. Jeon Jungkook was the type of man that thought just because the name CEO was attached to his title, that he could walk over who he pleased and it really made you mad. You were just as important as he was.

"Did you bribe him or something?" you crossed your arms. "You seem like the type!"

"That would be your department Ms. L/N (last name). Lucky for me I don't need high heels and a low cut blouse to be convincing." he shrugged. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a deal to settle." he sad down and began typing at his phone. "Good day Ms. L/N."

You whipped around, shutting his door behind you. The nerve of him! He stole your client and then commented on your attire?!

"Hey, how'd it go?" you were joined by Rose. (Okay if it wasn't obvious from my last post, I love Blackpink) "Did he admit it?"

"Yes! He stole my client because he thought he was 'the better candidate' " you rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. "Who does he think he is?!" you snapped. "I'm just as important as he is."

"Of course you are. You know how Mr. Jeon is." she shook her head. "What can you do other than- don't even think about murder." she cut you off just as you opened your mouth.

"I gotta go, I have a report to type." you walked ahead of your friend who shook her head.

"I know that face." Taehyung, another worker had appeared. "You have a plan don't you?"

Rose smirked, nodding her head. "Yes, but I'm gonna need your friends' help. Can you do that?"

"Anything to get those two together." Taehyung laughed. "What do I need to do?"

...

"What do you mean the reports need to be typed again!?!" you and Jungkook yelled at a eerily calm Yoongi. Six reports within the week, gone like that!

"They just disappeared out of nowhere." he shrugged. He looked like he was trying to hide something. What about this was so amusing!? "Taehyung said he couldn't find them, Rose said the same thing. Even Changmin."

" I spent days on those reports, where the hell could they have gone?!" you began pacing.

"Forget it, we'll have to type them again." he waved your rant off.

"That'll take all night." you sighed. "The amount of detail put into them, even if I start now I won't be done until, I don't even know. 4:00 AM."

"I never said you'd be on your own Ms. L/N." Jungkook made you stare at him in confusion. He wasn't really going to try and help you was he?

"What?" you asked stupidly.

"If I help you, then you won't be stuck typing until four." he looked at you like you had a sign that said ' I'm a Dumbass' around your neck. "How stupid do you think I am to the point where I can't type a simple staus report?"

"Don't ever recall insulting your intelligence but okay." you sighed.

....

Damn Jungkook and damn his nice house. Damn the fact that you agreed to come over instead of staying behind by yourself. You seethed as your furiously typed on your laptop you tried to wrap your mind around your current situation as you glanced over at your notes.

Jungkook was in his stupidly nice kitchen. Don't get it wrong, you had a very nice place too, you just hated the fact that today of all days was when your car was in the shop, meaning Jungkook had to drive you to his place so you could both work.

"Here you are." a glass was set down in front of you. You didn't look at it right away but you mumbled a quick "thanks".

"Listen, I know you're less than thrilled about working with me, but you could we try to be cordial. Ot at least a bit chill?"

"I am chill." you clenched your teeth as you typed. You noticed Jungkook staring at your notes, trying to type what he saw on his own laptop.

"Can I ask you a question?" Jungkook asked as he looked up from his computer.

"Sure."you were too focused to make a snide comment like along the lines of 'I don't know, can you?'

"Why do you hate me so much?" he asked. You stopped everything you were doing and turned to face him. He did not jus-. Did he just ask why you hated him?

"You don't remember the day we met? You spilled coffee on me, then mistaked me for a delivery girl. Then when your ex-assistant told you that I was your second in command you laughed, looked me up and down then said AND I QUOTE ,'Her? No way in hell. She probably can't even use a stapler correctly.' " you snapped, shutting your laptop for dramatic effect (good thing your laptop autosaves after long pauses). "You basically embarassed me at the staff introductory meeting telling everyone not to be surpised if I stand at the copy machine for too long because all the colorful buttons would confuse me." you stood up. You were now ranting. "The very next day when I talked to a client from Hungary, you told him that I wasn't anyone important! Thus embarrassing me again!"

"Y/N!" Jungkook slowly stood up.

"Don't Y/N me, because I'm not done! You'd ridicule my work every chance you got, how dare you call me reports 'simple'! Insinuating that I use my body to convince clients. My shirts are NOT low cut for the record!"

"Y/N." Jungkook sighed. You began pointing a finger at his chest.

"What?!" you crossed your arms. "There's loads more I have to say about what you've said to me."

"Well, don't. Because they aren't true. I didn't mean any of it." he sighed.

"What?!" you raised a brow. "Hold on, did you just say that-"

"I didn't mean any of it." he shook his head. "Everyone instantly liked you and I saw your resume and I felt challenged."

"Challenged, with the way you treat me, you might as well win every battle. Did you really expect me to think that was really going through your mind was 'Damnit do you have any idea how amazing you are, stop being so insecure.' " you faked (and failed) a deep voice. "Since day one you've been treating me like I'm some kind of dumb broad! I tried being nice to you and you blatantly disregard my work ethic or my skill in general. So don't you sit there and ask me wh- woah!"

You suddenly tripped over your own shoe, crashing into Jungkook's broad chest. Just like that you two were sent crashing to the floor. Good thing there was a nice carpet. You landed on Jungkook who landed on his back, causing the both of you to groan in pain.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry." you tried to scramble up, only to lose balance and land in a straddling position on Jungkook.

"Geez, could you be any more clumsy." he sighed. Propping himself up on his elbows, you finally got a good look of his face. Without his hair slicked and styled like the guys in those dramas you and your mom loved to make fun of. His face was actually relaxed.

Jungkook studied your face, your hair was a little bit of a mess, without that seemingly angry look you wore around him, he could see why everyone you met said you seemed friendly. You rushed to your feet, fixing your clothes.

You sat back down, opened your laptop and began working again, obviously bent of just finishing and going home to enjoy what little sleep you'd get until the next day.

"Y/N." Jungkook asked. Just as you turned your head, Jungkook wasted no time in kissing you. You nearly lost balance so to stay afloat you clung to his arm.

"Don't pretend that wasn't on purpose." Jungkook said in a low voice. "Come here." his words confused you to no end. In all actuality you could blame this incident on faulty high heels you were getting ready take off to throw at him. Unless he was talking about you clinging to his arm, then that was all you. In an instant you were pulled into Jungkook's lap, your hands making an eyen bigger mess of his hair. His hands traveled up your skirt allowing gusts of cold air to brush up against your skin.

Whatever was building up inside you needed to get out, so to relieve the tension coiling up inside you, you slowly moved your clothed core against, Jungkook's thigh, just to relieve yourself, even a little. Your legs shook as he guided you against his leg.

Jungkook held the back of your head, his hands tangled in strands of your hair. You weren't sure how to make out the feelings that coursed through your brain. Yes you hated Jungkook, but did you? Or were you just working off of what he showed you of himself and not what your other coworkers said about him apparently bragging that you were the best. You couldn't really hear yourself think over the harsh breathing leaving your body as your tongues crashed and prodded one another.

Whether you magically landed on the bed out of nowhere or whether Jungkook put your there wasn't important what was important was that he needed you. Since that day you walked in he couldn't fathom the threat of someone who worked harder than him. And beautiful too?! Might as well make him your assistant and call you the CEO. Not to mention him just plain out being a jerk for no reason, he kept it up because you'd think he was a dirty liar if he actually tried to apologize and makeup for his actions.

Jungkook furiously unbuttoned his shirt. Thoughts of you with your legs wrapped around his torso that have been haunting him since you told him off your third month at the company were too strong. They blinded his work ethic. Yes, reports needed to be done, but feeling you against him was twice as important. No, way more important.

He'd have time to enjoy your body, kiss every part of you later, now he needed you.

You had no time to worry about reports. Damn your sexual frustration and your messy hair. Your clothes discarded who knew where, you were too ready for him to care. (I hate myself but I'm not changing the scentence.)

Even thought he couldn't wait, he still wanted to care for you, he gently pinned your arms above your head as he slowly lowered himself into you. The sound of water sounded strange in your ears as the noises got faster and louder, gradually of course. Almost gracefully, your name escaped his lips, followed by a grunt of appreciation.

"Fuck!" Jungkook grunted. "Fuck I'm gonna-" he groaned. His thrusts grew slower and less calculated. His jaw went slack as more unintelligible sounds spilled from his mouth.

You nearly screamed his name but was muffled by Jungkook's mouth colliding with yours. An effective, yet seemingly messy way of shutting you up. You shook furiously under him, tightening around his length. Screams echoed through the room, yours and his.

You yawned tiredly collapsing onto the plush surface, your eyes grew very heavy as Jungkook laid next to you.

"I'm sorry. If I wasn't such an asshole to you when we first met." he sighed. "We would have gotten to this place a lot quicker." he laughed dryly.

"That's not funny." you whined, burying your head into the pillow next to your head. "Watch the hair next time, you probably made a tangle I won't be able to get out." you sighed, trying to fix your hair.

"Go to sleep, I promise I'll wake you up. We can ride to work tomorrow." Jungkook chuckled traced soothing lines on your hip, making you smile. "After we have breakfast together."

"Okay." you yawned, drafting off. "I like (insert favorite breakfast food.)" you hinted. You suddenly realized something "Jungkook?"

"Yes beautiful?"

" I always send copies or reports to everyone else in the office, including your personal email. There would be no way those reports were lost unless someone moved them to a different folder...."

"Wait a minute." Jungkook mumbled. "You don't think anyone at the office had anything to do with this, do you?"

"Too sleepy to care, but most definitely." you yawned. "We'll deal with it later." you yawned. "Sleeeepp" you whined, poking Jungkook's nose. You didn't have time to hear him chuckle at your mannerisms as you drifted off.

#bts smut #hoseok smut #jimin smut #jungkook smut #kpop imagines #namjoon smut #seokjin smut #taehyung smut #yoongi smut #bts imagines #bts scenarios #kpop scenarios #kpop smut #imagines #smut #kpop imagine #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook

[dangertoozmanykids101]

My Very Own Doubtful Guest, Chapter 2

"When they answered the bell on that wild winter night,

There was no one expected - and no one in sight."

***The Doubtful Guest, by Edward Gorey.

Tom's brain went into reboot mode as he stared at the bright little face pressed against the window. The new variable of children added another dimension to his hopes and expectations. He thought about all the possibilities waiting for him through that door. Luckily, flexibility and spontaneity were strengths he loved to exercise.

As the child withdrew from his perch he yelled to someone else, "There's a man at the door! He's got flowers! Do you think they're for me?"

Another face appeared in the window looking exactly like the face that had just left. The definitive clue that this was a new face was that now two identical sets of eyes peered out at him. One. Two. Two perfect little copies of each other left multiple smears on the window from their sticky little hands and their wet little noses.

Once the faces retreated again, scuffling and shuffling sounds came directly from the other side of the door before it finally opened.

Suddenly four little round faces stared at him from the other side of the glass security door. They each had curly blonde hair, super fair skin, and bright blue eyes. The three little boys and one little girl all looked far more curious than scared.

The pair of identical matching faces were the shortest and the boldest. Climbing over each other like puppies, the two littlest ones delivered several questions all at once with each question shouted louder than the last.

"Who are you? Who are the flowers for? Are the flowers for mommy? Are you here to play? What's in the bag? Are you Clark who kills the ants?"

The older two children just stared, waiting for answers. Of course the children weren't the only ones wide-eyed and staring. Tom wasn't expecting to see children at the door. It took a few moments before the shock of seeing them wore off and his brain fully re-engaged back into the here and now.

Why wouldn't she have kids by this point? It was ten years ago that she and 'what's-his-name' tied the knot. Lots of things can happen in ten years. To happen four times was just far more than Tom had expected. Honestly, he hadn't even considered that she would probably have children.

Ten years. A lot can change in ten years. This was the first moment that doubt tried to weasel in. Why hadn't he considered that he might not be welcome? What if she won't forgive him? But all things considered, it was most definitely too late to retreat now.

Shedding his momentary look of surprise and doubt, his face morphed into a bright full smile that spread from ear to ear and overflowed out of his eyes. He'd never seen such beautiful children in his life. He wanted nothing more than to sweep each one up in his arms and listen to every word they had to say. But first, he had to convince them to open the door.

"Well, hello! I'm your Uncle Tommy."

The looks on their faces didn't show any recognition to the name Uncle Tom. Maybe she had never mentioned him to them. He buried these new feelings of disappointment and continued to focus on the children.

"I've brought these flowers for your mum. Do you think she'll like them? I know she likes rainbows so I tried to get flowers in every color."

Squatting down to their level, he held the bouquet close to the door for the kids to see better. All four noses pressed against the glass door as Tom gently dug through the bouquet. Identifying each flower with its corresponding color in the rainbow, he paused at all the right moments. The children couldn't resist helping him recite the colors.

"These roses are...." He lifted two roses out of the bouquet, just barely opened. After taking a deep dramatic sniff, he looked expectantly at the children.

"Red!" the two little boys shouted.

Nodding his head in approval, Tom warmly smiled at each child in turn. He set the roses down on the little table next to the door before continuing.

"What color comes next in the rainbow? Does anyone know?"

All the children were easily old enough to know their rainbow colors but none of them dared to answer yet. Instead they waited with baited breath, watching every move he made as though he was about to do a magic trick. He slowly moved his fingers through the top of the bouquet, lightly fingering the petals, appearing to study them closely. Gently digging his hands into the arrangement again he lifted out a huge Gerber daisy the size of a saucer.

"This daisy is your mum's favorite color. I'm sure you all know what her favorite color is."

Everyone's eyes were locked on the daisy as he spun it between his fingers like a pinwheel. As though they were in a trance, no one said a word until he asked again. "What's your mum's favorite color?"

Suddenly pulling their eyes free from the flower, they all shouted out the answer as loud as they could.

"ORANGE!"

The children burst into giggles when Tom dramatically rolled back off his haunches as though a powerful blast had knocked him down, with his feet now kicking in the air.

"Whoa!!!" he yelled. ""I'll surely never doubt your color knowledge again, my friends."

Staying on his back he pretended to have trouble getting back up. A few deep sounding groans and grunts supported his claims of helplessness. He even made another obviously faux attempt to get up, before sighing loudly in defeat.

"Would any of you Good Samaritans please help this old man get up? I seem to be stuck and I would be so ashamed if your mum found me like this. I feel like a turtle stuck on his back, belly up."

Before he even finished his plea the oldest child unlocked a series of locks and the door flung open. All four kids rushed to help him up. Two children took each of his hands and pulled, while the other two children pushed him up, not so gently from behind his neck and head. With a few more goofy grunts and straightening his shirt and jacket with exaggeration, he stayed sitting on the porch with his long legs stretched out in front of him.

The chaos that four happy kids can create was now evident. Tom just sat and chuckled, feeling his heart swell as they all talked at once, each asking a dozen questions without waiting for answers. They tugged on his sleeves, climbed on his back, and endlessly circled around him, both gingerly and clumsily jumping over his outstretched legs. They showed no sign of slowing down.

He finally spread his arms out wide to get their attention, still holding the bouquet in one hand and the daisy in the other.

"OK. OK. OK. Hold up a second before one of us gets dizzy. And that'll probably be me watching how fast you all are. Instead who wants to hold the orange daisy?"

All four overexcited children lunged to grab the flower, but Tom's long arm kept the flower out of everyone's reach far above his head. This did not detour their attempts to climb up onto his shoulders though. Fortunately no one was wearing shoes, since again they tumbled all over each other like a litter of puppies.

"Hold on! We've got tons of flowers. Will anyone want to help me get them ready for your mum?"

Finally slowing down with eyes wide in anticipation, they all nodded their heads emphatically as their hands shot up into the air volunteering to help.

"I will! I'll help! Mommy will love it! Can I help? I want to help! Can I have a flower, too?"

Carefully looking at each child, he asked, "Who's the oldest?"

The little girl immediately piped up, "I am!"

Tom leaned forward and handed her the orange flower. "Would you hold this for us, Miss.... Miss...?" As they both still held the flower stem, he leaned back with a frown and a gasp. "My dear! I apologize! I don't know your name."

"My name is Melody Baker," the little girl stated with a very proper grown up tone, immediately lighting up with pride.

Letting go of the daisy, Tom took her free hand in his and shook it with grandiose formality. His face and voice adopted the same proper tone as he greeted her in return.

"What a pleasure, Miss Melody Baker. I am Mr. Thomas Hiddleston. But since I've been friends with your mum for over 20 years, you are most welcome to call me Uncle Tommy."

Before he had a chance to turn to the three boys, everyone was startled to attention by a loud curt voice coming from just the inside the door.

"Who the hell are you?"

_______________________

This is also posted on AO3.

[punkscowardschampions]

Chloé & Buster

Chloé: You coming to Abi's party tonight? Buster: No Chloé: Why not! Gonna be such a laugh Buster: It's not really any of your business, is it, Chlo, but let's be honest even if I was in the country, we both know it wouldn't be a laugh Buster: Abi's probably fucked up already Buster: And that's only one of the reasons why it's a no Chloé: Ooh, someone's moody! Chloé: Unlucky you're out of town babes 😂 Chloé: Family time, is it? Yawn Buster: Fuck off, Chlo Buster: There are other things to do besides annoying my sister, you should try it Chloé: Not in her inbox, am I? Chloé: 😷 Chloé: As if you're doing anything worth talking about Buster: Neither am I so how in the hell would I know, like? Buster: Why do you care so much still what I'm doing? Buster: Sort it out, babe. The who ain't you, but there's plenty of lads in your postcode who would Chloé: Just inviting you to a bash don't get wild about it Chloé: Never see you out these days, not YOUR postcode anymore, no? Chloé: Fake girlfriend still, is it? 💔 Buster: And why do you reckon that is, babe? Buster: Fault's yours not mine. Stop inviting me out, yeah? I'm not here for it. Or you Buster: I'm not sorry I'm busy with my actual girlfriend Chloé: What have I done! Chloé: Nothing but nice to you, and your sister, for that matter Buster: If that's what you think I ain't got the time to change your mind Buster: Nor write you a list, like Chloé: 🙄 The theatrics! Chloé: So, what's she like then? Must be something if you're willing to leave here for it Buster: Draw your own conclusions Buster: I'm not talking about her to you Chloé: Cute 💘 Chloé: Though you don't need to talk that game to me Chloé: Might be able to convince a girl outside the postcode that you're #loyal babes but no need or way that'll wash with me 😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: Maybe the reason I had to go out of the postcode was less to do with me and more about the type of girl there, you ever thought on that? Chloé: Omg Chloé: Admitting you can't handle us? Buster: You wish Buster: It wasn't a compliment, babe Chloé: Whatevs Chloé: You're looking good anyway Buster: Course I am Buster: Is there anything else I can actually do for you or what? 'Cause there's plenty my girlfriend can do for me if we're done here Chloé: If you wanna make me jealous Chloé: so many better ways to go about it Buster: Please Buster: Don't flatter yourself, honestly Chloé: Who's this??? Chloé: [Rio's post] Buster: Your subtlety is astounding Buster: Your sleuthing needs some work though, clearly Chloé: It's on my feed, I ain't ashamed Buster: Give it a double tap and move on, babe Chloé: Yeah, don't think she's your type Chloé: Maybe your sister's, she's always commenting hmm Buster: Like you know anything about mine or my sister's type of girl Chloé: Getting warmer, am I? Buster: In the sense you're getting more desperate, yeah Buster: If this turns you on that's an issue for you to worry about, not me Chloé: Please Chloé: it's fun isn't it Buster: No Buster: If I tell you who she is will you go away? Chloé: Sure! Buster: She's one of my many cousins, alright Chloé: Oh Chloé: That explains it Chloé: Disappointing but don't need to tell you that Buster: Off you go then Chloé: No Chloé: I thougt you were going to tell me who your girlfriend is Buster: Why the fuck would I do that? Chloé: Why would I care who your skanky cousin is? Buster: 'Cause you're obsessed with me apparently Buster: And don't call her that Chloé: Like you care babes Buster: I obviously do or else I wouldn't waste my breath telling you to shut up Chloé: You've said worse about all of 'em Chloé: Oh my Gosh Chloé: Just realised who she is Buster: I can whatever I want. Who the fuck are you? Buster: Congrats Chloé: She is, isn't she? Chloé: The one everyone's slept with Chloé: How shaming Buster: It'd sound more sincere if you hadn't slept with most of Chelsea, babe Buster: One rule for you, yeah? Chloé: I live here, I didn't fly in for the experience Chloé: Why was she even here? Buster: Maybe if you upped your own game the lads wouldn't need her to fly in Chloé: How can you talk about your own family like that you sicko Buster: 😂 Buster: You do have a moral code of some sort then? Buster: Take it up with your boy besties, they're the ones who like to chat about it Chloé: More than you do, clearly Chloé: Doesn't that just make you want to die? How mortifying Buster: It makes me wanna kill them Buster: Thanks for asking Chloé: As if you're any better 😂 Buster: I don't sleep with any girls they care about, do I? Chloé: Yeah right Chloé: Family man now, are you babes? Chloé: Take it up with her if you're so close now Buster: Whatever, Chlo Chloé: More touchy about this than you were with your own sister Chloé: Guess there was no risk of all your mates getting on her Buster: Exactly Buster: And you've missed your chance too so no worries there Chloé: You're so vile Buster: Like you'd be above fucking my sister? Okay babe Chloé: 🤢 Chloé: I'd sooner drink bleach Chloé: thank you Buster: I'm sure she would too Buster: Shame there was none in my glass that night at the party, like Chloé: Sorry to disappoint whatever incest kink you've got going on Chloé: but nah babes Buster: Why? You ain't been sorry about being a let down in any other way Chloé: Shut up Chloé: I was wasted and you're not giving a second chance Buster: If it was only how unfuckable you are, I'd let you off Chloé: You certainly managed Chloé: Trust me Buster: As I've only got your word on it, I have to Chloé: How else do you expect me to prove it? Chloé: DNA test? Buster: I don't care Buster: It happened and it ain't again. End of story Chloé: Whatever you say Buster: There ain't nothing else to say Buster: Unless you've got something you desperately wanna add? Chloé: Just talking to James Chloé: he reckons you're well weird about your cousin Buster: Says the lad who told me in graphic detail what fucking her was like? Okay Chloé: Didn't do it for you? Chloé: Poor boy 😂 Buster: But I'm the vile one, sure Chlo Chloé: Calm down, it's only bants Chloé: You're sooooo serious now Buster: Serious about how much I want you to fuck off out of my inbox Chloé: Can't handle it now or what? Chloé: There's a reason, I know Buster: I ain't never wanted to handle you, babe Chloé: Obvs not Chloé: not related to you am I Chloé: how country 😂 Buster: Fuck off Buster: Excuse me if you slagging off my family isn't a huge turn on for me, like Chloé: Why's it matter Chloé: Not gonna say it to their face am I Buster: You literally did say shit to my sister though Buster: Already forgotten or what? Chloé: No I never Chloé: Mads tagged her Chloé: then everyone else did Chloé: it wasn't me Buster: Back in the day in was all you though Chloé: She say that did she? Chloé: I was the only one who even tried to be her friend Chloé: not my fault she was in love with me Buster: Bullshit Buster: You ain't her type either, babe Buster: Get over yourself Chloé: Hmm not how I remember it Chloé: not like you were paying any attention so what would you know tbh Buster: I've heard it from her now Buster: Not just in Dublin seeing my girlfriend, as you've already worked out Chloé: Thrilled for you both, I'm sure Buster: Act like it then Buster: Leave me alone Buster: And it goes without saying, my sister as well Chloé: Well you see I can't Chloé: Hate to burst your bubble, of course Buster: Yeah you can Chloé: I really can't Chloé: As fun as this has been I have some news Buster: Go on then Buster: Sooner you've said it, sooner you can go Chloé: Ha Chloé: I'm pregnant Buster: What the fuck, Chlo? Even for you that's low Buster: Still going to Abi's party though, yeah? Buster: Bullshit Chloé: God, I can still have fun and A GLASS Chloé: beside the point Chloé: [pics of tests] Buster: Well yeah, you can do whatever you want until you prove it's my kid Chloé: How do you expect me to do that Chloé: and I know it's yours, thank you very much Buster: You might, but I don't Buster: And forgive me if I don't automatically take your word for it after all the shit you've said and done, like Chloé: Well if you weren't being so difficult Buster: Me? Buster: Fuck that Buster: Get a prenatal DNA and get back to me or wait until the kid is born, do it and get back to me Chloé: Wow Chloé: Class act Chloé: That's going to require a bit of cooperation, babes Buster: All you need is a blood sample or mouth swab Buster: I'll give you either Chloé: Done this before, have you? Chloé: Jesus Christ Chloé: it's a child, your child Buster: Not as far I know yet Buster: You having this convo with James and the rest of them too, are you? Chloé: Fuck off Chloé: No Chloé: and don't you dare tell ANYONE Buster: Like I want them knowing about it Buster: Whether it's my kid or not Buster: I've gotta tell my parents though so Chloé: You can tell them Chloé: Mine don't know yet Buster: You should tell them too Chloé: Will you tell them with me? Buster: Okay Chloé: Yay good Chloé: When are you back? Buster: I was gonna skip school but Buster: When were you planning on telling them? Chloé: I don't know, doesn't matter Buster: Of course it does Buster: You need to decide what you're gonna do Buster: They can help you Chloé: What? Chloé: I know what I'm doing Chloé: I've already been shopping with the girls Buster: I thought you didn't want anyone to know? Chloé: I don't want YOU telling people it could be anyone else's Chloé: when it couldn't, how rude Buster: So you've told your friends but not your parents? Buster: Come on, Chlo Buster: Have you even been to the doctors or anything? Chloé: Yeah they'll just fuss and wanna know things Chloé: how cringe Chloé: No point yet Chloé: I think Chloé: it's like 12 weeks scan, yeah? Buster: You can get DNA done at 9 weeks Buster: I've just looked it up Chloé: How long's it been? Buster: If you don't know that how are you so sure it's my kid? Chloé: I haven't slept with anyone else for ages Chloé: if you must know Buster: It is kind of worth knowing, yeah Buster: Fuck's sake Chloé: Don't be funny with me Chloé: I just know alright Buster: Don't tell me how to be Buster: I asked you after if you needed me to take you to the pill and you said no Chloé: Well I thought I was fine, obviously Buster: Well, now neither of us are, obviously Chloé: I'm good Chloé: Drama Chloé: It'll be nice, if you let it Buster: Nice? Buster: Grow up, Chlo Chloé: Well I'm not getting rid of it Chloé: you've done it now, deal with it Buster: Like I said, when you prove to me that it's my baby, I will Chloé: Fine, I will Chloé: you'll see Chloé: anyway, I'm going out, gotta get my nails done for tonight Buster: I'm glad you've got your priorities in order, babe Buster: Jesus Christ Chloé: What? Chloé: I can't do anything, I told you I've got loads of stuff for it Chloé: keeping it at Lindseys Buster: Don't go the party Buster: That's what you could do Chloé: I'm not going to sit at home on a saturday night Chloé: i'm not 40 Buster: Clearly. 40 year old's don't tend to get knocked up accidentally as a rule Chloé: Menopause'll do that to you babe Buster: That's not the point Buster: We need to talk about this you can't just ruin my life and then go do a toast with your friends Chloé: Me ruin yours? I didn't impregnate myself Buster: You're ruining your own by not thinking this through Chloé: I'm not a baby killer Chloé: sorry about it Buster: I don't even have words for how stupid that sounds Chloé: I can't believe you're trying to make me get an abortion Buster: I'm not trying to make you do anything except use your brain Buster: What about uni? Are you still gonna go or what? Buster: Are you gonna get your own place or stay with your mum and dad? Chloé: Wow, 20 questions! Buster: This isn't a game Buster: Fucking hell Chloé: I'm having a baby Chloé: that's my plan Buster: And then what? Chloé: Be a mum? Buster: You know how hard that's gonna be, yeah? Chloé: I think I'll manage babe Chloé: I'm not an idiot Buster: You're an idiot if you think it's easy Chloé: How hard can it be Buster: Very Buster: Babies can't do fuck all and kids aren't much better Chloé: Yeah, I know how to feed it and change it Chloé: Abi's got a baby sister she's so cute Buster: Good for her Buster: I bet she ain't doing the night feeds while her parents sleep, is she Chloé: Whatever Buster: Don't fucking whatever me, Chlo Chloé: Don't you talk to me like that Buster: I can't talk to you right now if you're gonna be like this Chloé: That's good because you're making me late Buster: Fine Buster: Bye then Chloé: 👋