#I fucking Hate sheep and stuff so this one was really easy.

[loonarmuunar]

MONSTER SYLVIE’S DESIGN!!

Sylvie IS helping Molly, but his motivations are more morally grey than just for the sake of helping her. He’s fascinated by humans, and he has an interesting in studying her. It’s very unclear what he means by studying but Molly isn’t in any immediate danger. For now, at least.

I have NO clue how he would’ve died (maybe medical malpractice?) so uhhh if anyone has any ideas 👁️👁️ lemme know

#if u look at his arms u can see they’re all bent the wrong way #I fucking Hate sheep and stuff so this one was really easy. #well I don’t HATE them #but like #sheep deers cows rams etc #they freak me out #he probably gets attached to her later on #there goes all his dissection plans smh #epithet erased #my art #sylvester ashling #sylvie ashling #epithet erased fanart #‘yeah Sylvie is one of the more humanoid monsters’ <— me. a liar. #he was supposed to have a human face originally but eh #ee monster au #tw body horror #kinda #it’s not that bad but I want to be careful

[docholligay]

Ep 9: Shauna

Hello! This is about up to Episode 9 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 9 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the ninth episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

I love all of Shauna’s shit in this.

Shauna stabs Adam not because he lied to her, though she’s not thrilled about that, but because Shauna has such a fear of being found out. Shauna knows that at core, she is a creature. That she can kill, and has killed. That she can dismember, that she can be cold. That she can betray. That she longs to betray. No one can know that, that has to stay Shauna’s secret, and he is at the very precipice of getting close enough to realize, close enough to know, and so I’m not even sure the conscious level of Shauna stabs him, but that second layer of Shauna, simmering just under the surface, the basement of the house where Jackie lives, and accuses Shauna. 

Of course, this is all paired with the fact that Shauna desperately wants to be found out. To be exposed. For her monstrous predator nature to be made known. This is why she’s always so crap at hiding stuff--her shitty spot for the diary, the flight number as the code on the safe, her book club lies to Jeff--She got into Brown, she’s not that fucking stupid. She wants to be found out. She wants to scream that she is dangerous and not to be fucked with, but she can’t, because she has to be this idea she has of Shauna. She is the wolf in sheep’s clothing, and wants everyone to know it, and so she leaves these simple, easy breadcrumbs to be followed. 

It’s teenage Shauna, the wolf inside, that does this. 

And I knew it was going to happen, because I’m not sure what is going on with Adam--I still do not think he was somehow God’s most innocent lamb, though maybe I’m just sticking to my story because I hate being wrong--but whatever is going on with Adam is playing into all those feelings Shauna has not only of people discovering that she is a creature, but on an even simpler level, Adam is Jeff all over again. Adam is Shauna assuring herself that the popular, cute boy wants her, really wants her, not Jackie, not the pretty girls, but SHAUNA, and Adam ruins that with the possibility of having wanted her for manipulative reasons, of having wanted to discover her not because she is dangerous and sexy but because she is PROFITABLE. That’s the big hurt, that he never wanted her. That god forbid, Callie was right. 

It’s a lot going on! It’s a lot of feelings! But they all go back to teenage Shauna’s feelings of inadequacy and that monster under the surface, the one who took immediately to butchering. That’s why we see teenage Shauna take out the knife, because in many ways, she still IS teenage Shauna. Teenage Shauna who isn’t thinking about what they would be doing if they hadn’t crashed because some part of her knows she never ever would have goen to Brown. She never would have confronted Jackie. 

I mean even in fucking killing Adam, which, way to go girl, you’re making choices in your life I guess. They’re these, but they are choices! Even then, when Jeff says, “You murdered someone?” she doesn’t say yes, she says, “I stabbed hm and he died” even in this she cannot let herself be honest about her actions. Sure, she stabbed him and he died, but that was just a series of events, that wasn’t her MURDERING him. They may be the same on paper, but she’s a writer, and any writer knows that connotation is everything. Word choice matters. 

By the way, I absolutely love everything that happens with Shauna and Jeff, not because I was right (though we all know I love that) but because I think it proves so much about how she and Jeff always were perfect for each other, and Jackie was the outlier, not Shauna. When he says, “We’ve always been these people,” that is the most perfect way of summing it up that I could possibly think of. They are both duplicitous, desperate people, who do things in the darkness. It’s who they are, it’s who they’ve always been. 

That being said, I don’t know if I think Shauna deserves Jeff. Jeff was not lying, I don’t think, when he said he didn’t want to have married Jackie, that he loves Shauna. I think that is very clear in all of his actions. His first reaction when she reveals that she killed someone is to take the fall for it. That he refuses to let her take the fall “for something he did” even though Shauna very much was the one who stabbed Adam because he hurt her feelings and got too close.

#Doc watches Yellowjackets #Yellowjackets S1 E9

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

I just finished Staged 1!! My reactionz (apologies for wall-of-text; I cannae “read more” on mobile);

(tl;dr at the end)

Props for getting me to not despise a Zoom show on sight. Uses the medium really well despite it being, you know, a remnant of the world fuckin ending

Very Rosencranz and Guildenstern are Dead, like the patter/volley, lotta chemistry (goes without saying)

David Tennant using Frost/Nixon as an example to explain who Michael Sheen is to Samuel L. Jackson makes me feel so seen. Maybe it’s an American thing idk

Nina, my beloved… serving cunt as the day is long. Rip to her beleaguered assistant lmao

The celeb cameos weren’t annoying !

Bordered on naval gaze-y but self aware enough (meta!) to skirt the line well

Simon’s sister rules lmao

The exterior shots showing empty Englandland were beautiful and captured a (shitty) moment in time very effectively. And sheep! Pastoral VS city, good stuff

Who the fuck is Michael Sheen?!

I wish David writing the play came up earlier, structurally it felt kinda thrown in the last two episodes, but they’re short so it’s a lot to put in

Michael crying over the old lady possibly dying 🥺 Best unseen character uwu

Welsh is a horrifically ugly language but I appreciate their commitment to the bit

Best ep by far was the 3rd (I think?) one revolving around lying. Fantastically written and all around a tight episode

He is in the naughty corner!!

I’m ignorant af whooooooo is the black actory guy in the 5th (I think?) episode who goes on a run to deal with stress and reads Ulysses twice? Love him. I will follow him into the dark

The Ulysses bit is very haha Bri’ish

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night Reference !!!!

The credits gag is *chef’s kiss*

I… don’t like the music. It feels very Kevin Macleod student film stock piano sorry

Also could be my hearing issues but I just couldn’t hear sometimes, at least with the wide shots. Maybe there are subtitles but I wouldn’t know since I watched it completely legally uwu

Editing with fade-to-black annoyed me at first since that’s not how Zoom works but it won me over, very effective theater-y choice. Elevates it a lot along with the way the Brady Bunch boxes move

David and Georgia’s dynamic is adorable and they play well off each other. Not sure if I’ve seen Georgia in anything before (statistically speaking she was prob in Doctor Who lmao) but I really like her as an actress! Very charming

Anna’s not in it as much so can’t say for her acting ability but she was fine idk. She has zero chemistry with David and Georgia but her and Michael seem to have a little bit, just not nearly on the same level as the Tennants. It’s “meta” so not quite sure what that implies irl but her awkwardly leaving Georgia on read was very funny

Idk who Simon is but he’s a good actor! More of a writer? Self effacing and fun

D̵̨̜̓̽͆͘Ḁ̴̪̻̘̗̮̀͛̈̊̅͆ͅM̷̭̒͛̓̔̐͛̉̂̈́̔͘Ë̷̲́̿̅̀̐̆̇̅͋̓̋͂̉ ̴̟̖͉̳͖͕̫̑̌́͂̀͑͐̽̈́̃̃J̶̨̤̞̰̙̻̯͍͖̯̠̝̥̤̿͐̄̂̈̅̎̃̌͊͊̓͠Û̶̢͍͔̱̦̩̬̦͙͖̓̿͘D̶͇̭́̋̓̆͆̋̋͘I̶̞̳͕͖͗̓̓͑̐͆͊͋̂̚͠͝ ̴̧̨͎͖̲̳̼̎̈́̋̐͘Ḑ̸̲̖̟̲͓̝̠͍̤͛͆͐͘E̷̛̻̥͙̯͂͌̌̈͂̒Ņ̷̛̭̦̗͔̝͙̖̆̀̆̌̚ͅC̴̢̬͉͈̉͐̃̀̋̓̓̓̀̚H̵̡̠͕͚̹͑͂̃̉̐̈̾̍̕͠

In the same vein, the button of the cookie jar acting game— yes. All yes

Once again hammering the meta theme but it is interesting to see how David & Michael’s chemistry really does get stronger as the episodes go on. I’m assuming it was filmed in order so a lot of it is the awkwardness of acting on Zoom I think since they had better chemistry in Good Omens 1 imo. They said they became closer friends through it and it shows

Also feels less ‘actor-y’/more comfortable between them as it goes on, which I get is scripted but you can tell the difference, like when a sitcom cast for many years either starts hating each other at the end or becomes inseparable

tl;dr Overall it’s quite cute! Well written, easy watch, lotta subtle funny moments and back and forths. Interesting to see something that feels like a play as a Zoom TV show, it’s unique. Everyone is having a good time and likes each other and it shows. Not sure I’d come back for a rewatch if not for it (apparently) becoming a lot more meta as it goes on and then whiplashing from funnier in season 2 to major bummer in season 3.

It’s fascinating to see a friendship develop in real time, and even aside from that, it’s written and edited concisely. Based on .gifs I’ve seen it looks like season 2 has a lot more of the iconic/memorable moments. Don’t really see the “love story” aspect yet but I guess that comes in time. (And arguing! I’m excited for arguing. Actors love that shit.)

Started season 2 with episode 1 and already like it more with how meta (this no longer sounds like a word) it’s getting. Cool concept and I’m glad it exists

#my tl;dr is so long lmao sorry #using it as an excuse to go to the gym #i will watch ofmd soon tho! once i’ve finished this #bless those who sail the high seas #staged #bbc staged #staged 1 #michael sheen #david tennant #georgia tennant #simon evans #also yes they’re both very attractive i’m just embarrassed to not shove it in the tags because i’m a nerd #also georgia is very pretty and has eyes like a furby #samuel l jackson #lucy eaton <- damn no tag sorry girl

[sessenaa]

Elio: 🍑🍋💗

Rosie: 🌹🍊😊

Hooh boy let's fucking go...

Elio:

🍑 Where is your OC’s favourite place to relax or calm down? Recount a story of their time spent in this place! What makes it so special to them?

Bold of you to assume he has ever relaxed in his entire life. Just kidding. He likes any quiet place, preferrably somewhere warm. I think he has good memories of his boyfriend's caravan because it was the first place he ever really got away from his family for a while.

🍋 Does your OC act petty and jealous easily? What sort of things make them feel like this and do they experience guilt for getting so worked up? How do they deal with these emotions when they get them? If your OC doesn’t feel like this often, why not?

He's a bitch. He's not jealous, but he's a petty asshole. I think he's just overcompensating for his own insecurities. He is a bit of a hypocrite. He feels bad about it but he's not going to admit that ever, he says a lot of mean things mostly to people he feels are incompetent or don't respect him.

💗 What would your OC say is their best feature? Why? What do their friends / family / lover(s) / people they know think is their best feature and why?

Oh man... He'd probably just pride himself on the ability to punch real good. His path as a monk was one of the first things he actively pursued himself because he wanted to.

His mentor Lucia likes his determination

His boyfriend Ikaros likes his occasionally clueless nature and the sincerity he displays with him (als let's not deny that I made Elio hot. He's handsome.)

His sister Ophelia likes his piano playing and the fact that he alwas stuck up for her.

His friend Faydra likes his sardonic personality (straight from her player's mouth)

His friend (?) Ember did not comment. To be fair their relationship is complicated lmao

Now for Rosie:

🌹 How easy is it for them to connect with others and make friends? On the flip side how easy is it for them to make an enemy of someone? Are they the kind of person who hangs around the food table at a party and never talks to anyone or are they the type who can talk to anyone?

Rosie is a social butterfly. She makes friends easily just by being honest and open. I don't think she thinks she makes enemies easily. You'd have to do something truly horrible and be unrepentant for her to hate you.

🍊 What is your OC’s favourite meal? Snack? Dessert? Drink? Any reasons behind this besides liking how it tastes?

Rosie loves honey. They had bees where she grew up and she enjoyed the process of making it. She also likes a good sheep's milk cheese. Moreso now because it reminds her of home and the people she misses/lost.

�� What can make your OC smile even when they’re feeling down? What cheers them up and makes everything feel better for them? Is your OC genrally a happy person and do they enjoy making others smile? What about your OC makes others happy?

Rosie definitely USED to be a happy person. She's still holding onto her optimism although stuff is grim. I think the thingh she is still holding onto is the knowledge that she helped people and can still help even more.

[brokenbutunbowed]

Should I try and post more about my animals again. Hmmm. This has always been a very mixed blog but I've barely made an original post in a few years cause I just never feel like I have anything to say. Or the energy.

Coming up out of a few-month-long depressive episode and starting to feel joy about my hobbies again. Most of which revolve around my animals. I'm sure the depression will catch back up soon now that the sun is starting to disappear, but in the meantime... it's nice to feel a bit of excitement again.

I quit a very bad job back in March because I was pretty much one bad day away from killing myself. Like, I had plans. I was ready. My wife more or less forced me to quit for my own good. I had somehow saved up enough money to survive just fine without it and spent 6 weeks at home, catching up on projects, deep cleaning, and recovering. Then in May I got a job I thought I really wanted. I planned on staying long term. They said constantly I was doing a great job learning (it was a very hard job) but then did a 180 and fired me just before my 90 days, when I would've finally had health insurance.

Had a really bad breakdown over that, because at that point I didn't have money in savings and there was basically no jobs on indeed. I ended up having to go through a temp agency the next week to finally find a job. It's a boring factory job, but it pays the same as the hard job and it's so easy it crosses over into downright understimulating for parts of the day. I don't get benefits/ sick time/ holiday pay/ anything until I get actually signed on with the company, and I don't know when that will be, but I know I basically can't lose this job unless I skip work or come in late a bunch, which is not the kind of person I am, so I'm at least secure there. Now that I'm away from hard job and I've been at this job about a month, I'm actually glad I lost the other job. That job had so much pressure and stress and since I was the only girl in the department I was treated noticeably different (I believe that's half of why I was fired but I won't go there) but my current job is so simple. I spend at least half of every day marveling at the fact I'm getting paid to do such simple shit.

Anyway, yeah... hello adhd I was trying to talk about my animals.

We've been at this house 2.5 years now and finally starting to feel like the farm is getting to how we want it. We've got most of our birds pens up, except the breeding pen my wife wants to build for some of her chickens, but I finished the pheasant pens this spring that I started last year and the remodel of the duck/turkey pens.

We fenced in most of our property last year, and we finally got gates for the driveway last weekend so the horses and sheep can graze our yard and help keep the grass short.

When I was off work this spring I started working on deep cleaning the basement, where all my exotic animals stayed when our parasitic ex friends lived with us. The basement had a minor flood two years ago and still needs some remodeling and cleaning, but someday I plan to finish that and turn it *back* into an animal room. Though I plan to keep the tarantulas and geckos upstairs in their current room and set up all my snakes in the downstairs room. I have a crazy vision for that room that's gonna take time and money but I'm so excited to get there one day. I hate racks and I'm planning on pvc enclosures for all my snakes. It's gonna be expensive but I'm so fucking excited for it.

We're hoping to pay off the stupid PMI to drop our monthly house payment by the end of next year. And the escrow stuff was messed up by the township so our payment is currently 1700/month instead of the 1300 it was, and they refuse to change it even though it was a clerical error on their end, but hopefully we'll get at least some of that wasted money back next June when they reassess and our payment will go back down. 🤞 without that fuck up and the PMI, we could maybe get lucky and have, like, a 1000/month payment instead of 1700. That money would be so useful for other shit.

How did I get here. Where was I going with that. Hmm.

Oh yeah because money and animals lol

Anyway I don't know why I'm typing this and nobody is gonna read it anyway but maybe I'll actually try and post some animal pics soon.

#personaljournalposts #i simply do not know how to write a short post ffs #I'm currently hyper focusing on my snakes and it's a little obvious #but the chickens ducks turkey and pheasants have kept us pretty busy all season too #our herd of sheep has grown to 4. which doesn't seem like much but hopefully there will be more babies next spring #kinda hoping our horse numbers drop from 2 to 1 but that's just because I'm not getting along with our friend's horse who stays here... #... and she is planning on moving her sometime in the near future because she just moved an hour away #hello rambling again ill stop

[zevranunderstander]

the thing about terfs is. i get how a person can get radicalized like that and its not that i have sympathy for them but i have people in my family who were radicalized into being right-wing and there is the thing that you can never really convince them that they are wrong because the places they get their information from (other radicalized people) will only ever show them the bad stuff to a point where they dont really connect their hatred with reality anymore?

like. right wing people love to instill fear of immigrants and foreign people by recording and sharing moments in which some of these people got violent and acted up to scare the "normal" citizens into being paranoid that their country is being invaded by people who are violent and "ungrateful" and when observing a group of that size there will always be someone to complain about. there will be mentally ill people, traumatized people, people who just happen to be violent assholes, people whose actions are taken entirely out of context, etc. and this is spun into a story that ALL foreigners are like that. ALL immigrants are like that. and instead of these being the exception to the rule, the one or two immigrants that these people might personally know (and who are coincidentally really nice people) suddenly are the exception to that rule. but these people usually live in a way where they just. don't have any real contact with this group they hate outside of their echo chamber so they think everything else told about them, especially by less radicalizing media is a lie and propaganda to make you think they are actually "good and normal people" and that's fucked up, but ultimately also shows how many of these people lack a basic level of empathy for other human beings

and terfs are also like that. if you go on their blogs and read their posts youll realize very soon that the problem isn't only that they hate trans people. i think their hate for trans people is a symptom stemming from the fact that they truly truly truly hate men, to a point of ALWAYS dehumanizing them when they speak about them, calling them weird terms to further dehumanize them ('moids' and 'males' mostly). i recently reblogged a post by an ex-terf where she said something like 'terfs truly do not think men are human beings, you can only hate a group so long before you can't see them as human anymore' and if you check these people's blogs, they have the same echo chambers as the alt-right: videos of sexist men, videos of men acting violent, videos of men being horrible people, and for terfs this is the true 'male nature' - ALL men are secretly like this. ALL men hate women and want to kill and rape them.

that's why they hate trans women. because to them this isn't a gender binary, it's a group of innocent, oppressed victims and a group of violent non-human monsters. and the thought that one of these monsters would want to hide among them (im so sorry for the gross comparison) as a wolf in sheeps clothing, only pretending to be on their side to hurt them when they are letting down their guard around other women.

and that is why they don't have the same disdain for trans men, per se. they have created this echo chamber that makes them believe men are all violent and sexist and opportunistic. and like with the example of immigrants earlier it's hard to convince them otherwise. even more than in the example because toxic masculinity and the patriarchy has created tons and tons of men who are either violent, or horribly sexist. there have been centuries of female opression side and if you know where to look, it's pretty easy to find a video of andrew tate or some tradcath male youtuber for them to share in their echo chamber.

yes, toxic masculinity, sexism, etc. those are all actual issues that we have in our society, but convincing ourselves that every man is like that is so delusional and unhelpful and shows such a lack of human empathy? it's hard to argue with them because to them, men don't need any empathy ever because they hold more power in society. terfs even inflate how much more power men hold because they don't really wanna fight for equal rights, they want to be the victims. they looove saying that women are weaker, women are biologically less capable of x and biologically less intelligent than men or whatever shit, just so they can victimize themselves even further. they love arguing over posts that say something sexist and i swear i dont know how often i saw that on a terf's blog, they LOVE to pick fights with the trads on this site. they don't WANT to block the negativity, they want to wail over how oppressed they are and how cruel and hateful all men are.

and i think on this site we all have this view of terfs being exclusively against trans women, but the thing that is at the core of their beliefs is their hate for men. i think for some terfs it might be the reverse of 'they were already transphobic and then fell into a rethoric that backed their beliefs by introducing them to gender essentialism'. for other women it could also be having a particularly bad expierience with a man - living with an abusive father, being sexually assaulted and I sympathize with women who hold a grudge against the patriarchy for allowing men to take advantage of them like that, but projecting this image onto every man you ever meet is so insane and delusional. it's normal to have trust issues after having a bad expierience with ANY group of people, but it's not normal to ignore working on that and trying to get better and instead blame men for all moral failings of society and your personal life.

terfs love to hold up a woman's "innate empathy and intuition", but they do not, in fact, have actual empathy and have conditioned themselves to think all men are violent zombies who only crave power, success and to hurt and kill women.

#myposts #tw: transphobia #tw: racism #terfs set feminism back by 20 years its amazing

[spideronsilk]

My boyfriend made me feel like shit and I don't have anywhere to post it so

He really loves the idea of streaming. He would love for us to stream and become popular enough to do it full time for a living. Obviously not an easy task. EVEYONE was to be a streamer now a days. Which is awesome! My boyfriend def had the personally for it. He's goofy, funny, has a nice voice so even when he didn't have a face came people came cause of his commentary. He's got like 27 followers. Nothing crazy but I'm proud of him.

And while he's an extrovert im the exact opposite. I don't like to go out, I don't like to talk to strangers on the mic I hate people even looking at me in public sometimes. I have anxiety and an pretty self isolating. And I know its not a healthy thing but idk I just have a real hard time making and keep friends and stuff. He really wants me to stream too. And I see people online and the interactions and meeting new people would he awesome. I would've actual friends. He says because I'm a girl I'll have tons of people wanna follow me and I told him its not that easy. (Like yes there are people who make it all about their appearance and show themselves off but I'm not like that AT ALL)

Today i told him I don't think I have much to offer and he was like 'thats some self pity bullshit you need to stop.' And said if I have nothing to offer why was he there with me. And that if I'm not doing anything with myself or being a leader im just a sheep.

Because I have a full time corporate job that I hate. Wtf? Obviously I would rather be doing literally anything else then working a boring corporate job but we have bills to pay. The world is literally shit right now. We don't even have a car and we're saving money for one but me streaming isn't gonna fucking save us. Like maybe after years we can make some money. But its not gonna be instantaneous.

And I just don't think I'm crazy funny or entertaining to stream. I play one game and im not even that good. And we have a shit Webcam that makes me look fat and is horribly angled cause I have to stack it on books and game cases. Like no im not very confident but he didn't have to be a dick about it. He just doesn't understand anxiety or anything similar. He's one of those people who think you can just turn it off. I FUCKING WISH. Life would he so much easier.

Idk theres just better ways he could have gone with the conversation but he basically told me to stop being a downer and nothing was going to have with that attitude and I understand that he's right but there are better ways to comfort your s.o instead of give them a fucking lecture and tell them to stop with the self pity.

Lol wow I feel great! So motivated! All I have to do is turn off my anxious and insecurities and I'm set! Its so easy!

#rant #anxiety #i have too much self pity i know #spideronsilk #i just feel fucking stupid honestly

[missmentelle]

Why Smart People Believe Stupid Things

If you’ve been paying attention for the last couple of years, you might have noticed that the world has a bit of a misinformation problem. 

The problem isn’t just with the recent election conspiracies, either. The last couple of years has brought us the rise (and occasionally fall) of misinformation-based movements like:

Sandy Hook conspiracies

Gamergate

Pizzagate

The MRA/incel/MGTOW movements

anti-vaxxers

flat-earthers

the birther movement

the Illuminati 

climate change denial

Spygate

Holocaust denial 

COVID-19 denial 

5G panic 

QAnon 

But why do people believe this stuff?

It would be easy - too easy - to say that people fall for this stuff because they’re stupid. We all want to believe that smart people like us are immune from being taken in by deranged conspiracies. But it’s just not that simple. People from all walks of life are going down these rabbit holes - people with degrees and professional careers and rich lives have fallen for these theories, leaving their loved ones baffled. Decades-long relationships have splintered this year, as the number of people flocking to these conspiracies out of nowhere reaches a fever pitch. 

So why do smart people start believing some incredibly stupid things? It’s because:

Our brains are built to identify patterns. 

Our brains fucking love puzzles and patterns. This is a well-known phenomenon called apophenia, and at one point, it was probably helpful for our survival - the prehistoric human who noticed patterns in things like animal migration, plant life cycles and the movement of the stars was probably a lot more likely to survive than the human who couldn’t figure out how to use natural clues to navigate or find food. 

The problem, though, is that we can’t really turn this off. Even when we’re presented with completely random data, we’ll see patterns. We see patterns in everything, even when there’s no pattern there. This is why people see Jesus in a burnt piece of toast or get superstitious about hockey playoffs or insist on always playing at a certain slot machine - our brains look for patterns in the constant barrage of random information in our daily lives, and insist that those patterns are really there, even when they’re completely imagined. 

A lot of conspiracy theories have their roots in people making connections between things that aren’t really connected. The belief that “vaccines cause autism” was bolstered by the fact that the first recognizable symptoms of autism happen to appear at roughly the same time that children receive one of their rounds of childhood immunizations - the two things are completely unconnected, but our brains have a hard time letting go of the pattern they see there. Likewise, many people were quick to latch on to the fact that early maps of COVID infections were extremely similar to maps of 5G coverage -  the fact that there’s a reasonable explanation for this (major cities are more likely to have both high COVID cases AND 5G networks) doesn’t change the fact that our brains just really, really want to see a connection there. 

Our brains love proportionality. 

Specifically, our brains like effects to be directly proportional to their causes - in other words, we like it when big events have big causes, and small causes only lead to small events. It’s uncomfortable for us when the reverse is true. And so anytime we feel like a “big” event (celebrity death, global pandemic, your precious child is diagnosed with autism) has a small or unsatisfying cause (car accident, pandemics just sort of happen every few decades, people just get autism sometimes), we sometimes feel the need to start looking around for the bigger, more sinister, “true” cause of that event. 

Consider, for instance, the attempted assassination of Pope John Paul II. In 1981, Pope John Paul II was shot four times by a Turkish member of a known Italian paramilitary secret society who’d recently escaped from prison - on the surface, it seems like the sort of thing conspiracy theorists salivate over, seeing how it was an actual multinational conspiracy. But they never had much interest in the assassination attempt. Why? Because the Pope didn’t die. He recovered from his injuries and went right back to Pope-ing. The event didn’t have a serious outcome, and so people are content with the idea that one extremist carried it out. The death of Princess Diana, however, has been fertile ground for conspiracy theories; even though a woman dying in a car accident is less weird than a man being shot four times by a paid political assassin, her death has attracted more conspiracy theories because it had a bigger outcome. A princess dying in a car accident doesn’t feel big enough. It’s unsatisfying. We want such a monumentous moment in history to have a bigger, more interesting cause. 

These theories prey on pre-existing fear and anger. 

Are you a terrified new parent who wants the best for their child and feels anxious about having them injected with a substance you don’t totally understand? Congrats, you’re a prime target for the anti-vaccine movement. Are you a young white male who doesn’t like seeing more and more games aimed at women and minorities, and is worried that “your” gaming culture is being stolen from you? You might have been very interested in something called Gamergate. Are you a right-wing white person who worries that “your” country and way of life is being stolen by immigrants, non-Christians and coastal liberals? You’re going to love the “all left-wingers are Satantic pedo baby-eaters” messaging of QAnon. 

Misinformation and conspiracy theories are often aimed strategically at the anxieties and fears that people are already experiencing. No one likes being told that their fears are insane or irrational; it’s not hard to see why people gravitate towards communities that say “yes, you were right all along, and everyone who told you that you were nuts to be worried about this is just a dumb sheep. We believe you, and we have evidence that you were right along, right here.” Fear is a powerful motivator, and you can make people believe and do some pretty extreme things if you just keep telling them “yes, that thing you’re afraid of is true, but also it’s way worse than you could have ever imagined.”

Real information is often complicated, hard to understand, and inherently unsatisfying. 

The information that comes from the scientific community is often very frustrating for a layperson; we want science to have hard-and-fast answers, but it doesn’t. The closest you get to a straight answer is often “it depends” or “we don’t know, but we think X might be likely”. Understanding the results of a scientific study with any confidence requires knowing about sampling practices, error types, effect sizes, confidence intervals and publishing biases. Even asking a simple question like “is X bad for my child” will usually get you a complicated, uncertain answer - in most cases, it really just depends. Not understanding complex topics makes people afraid - it makes it hard to trust that they’re being given the right information, and that they’re making the right choices. 

Conspiracy theories and misinformation, on the other hand, are often simple, and they are certain. Vaccines bad. Natural things good. 5G bad. Organic food good. The reason girls won’t date you isn’t a complex combination of your social skills, hygiene, appearance, projected values, personal circumstances, degree of extroversion, luck and life phase - girls won’t date you because feminism is bad, and if we got rid of feminism you’d have a girlfriend. The reason Donald Trump was an unpopular president wasn’t a complex combination of his public bigotry, lack of decorum, lack of qualifications, open incompetence, nepotism, corruption, loss of soft power, refusal to uphold the basic responsibilities of his position or his constant lying - they hated him because he was fighting a secret sex cult and they’re all in it. 

Instead of making you feel stupid because you’re overwhelmed with complex information, expert opinions and uncertain advice, conspiracy theories make you feel smart - smarter, in fact, than everyone who doesn’t believe in them. And that’s a powerful thing for people living in a credential-heavy world. 

Many conspiracy theories are unfalsifiable. 

It is very difficult to prove a negative. If I tell you, for instance, that there’s no such thing as a purple swan, it would be very difficult for me to actually prove that to you - I could spend the rest of my life photographing swans and looking for swans and talking to people who know a lot about swans, and yet the slim possibility would still exist that there was a purple swan out there somewhere that I just hadn’t found yet. That’s why, in most circumstances, the burden of proof lies with the person making the extraordinary claim - if you tell me that purple swans exist, we should continue to assume that they don’t until you actually produce a purple swan. 

Conspiracy theories, however, are built so that it’s nearly impossible to “prove” them wrong. Is there any proof that the world’s top-ranking politicians and celebrities are all in a giant child sex trafficking cult? No. But can you prove that they aren’t in a child sex-trafficking cult? No, not really. Even if I, again, spent the rest of my life investigating celebrities and following celebrities and talking to people who know celebrities, I still couldn’t definitely prove that this cult doesn’t exist - there’s always a chance that the specific celebrities I’ve investigated just aren’t in the cult (but other ones are!) or that they’re hiding evidence of the cult even better than we think. Lack of evidence for a conspiracy theory is always treated as more evidence for the theory - we can’t find anything because this goes even higher up than we think! They’re even more sophisticated at hiding this than we thought! People deeply entrenched in these theories don’t even realize that they are stuck in a circular loop where everything seems to prove their theory right - they just see a mountain of “evidence” for their side. 

Our brains are very attached to information that we “learned” by ourselves.

Learning accurate information is not a particularly interactive or exciting experience. An expert or reliable source just presents the information to you in its entirety, you read or watch the information, and that’s the end of it. You can look for more information or look for clarification of something, but it’s a one-way street - the information is just laid out for you, you take what you need, end of story. 

Conspiracy theories, on the other hand, almost never show their hand all at once. They drop little breadcrumbs of information that slowly lead you where they want you to go. This is why conspiracy theorists are forever telling you to “do your research” - they know that if they tell you everything at once, you won’t believe them. Instead, they want you to indoctrinate yourself slowly over time, by taking the little hints they give you and running off to find or invent evidence that matches that clue. If I tell you that celebrities often wear symbols that identify them as part of a cult and that you should “do your research” about it, you can absolutely find evidence that substantiates my claim - there are literally millions of photos of celebrities out there, and anyone who looks hard enough is guaranteed to find common shapes, poses and themes that might just mean something (they don’t - eyes and triangles are incredibly common design elements, and if I took enough pictures of you, I could also “prove” that you also clearly display symbols that signal you’re in the cult). 

The fact that you “found” the evidence on your own, however, makes it more meaningful to you. We trust ourselves, and we trust that the patterns we uncover by ourselves are true. It doesn’t feel like you’re being fed misinformation - it feels like you’ve discovered an important truth that “they” didn’t want you to find, and you’ll hang onto that for dear life. 

Older people have not learned to be media-literate in a digital world. 

Fifty years ago, not just anyone could access popular media. All of this stuff had a huge barrier to entry - if you wanted to be on TV or be in the papers or have a radio show, you had to be a professional affiliated with a major media brand. Consumers didn’t have easy access to niche communities or alternative information - your sources of information were basically your local paper, the nightly news, and your morning radio show, and they all more or less agreed on the same set of facts. For decades, if it looked official and it appeared in print, you could probably trust that it was true. 

Of course, we live in a very different world today - today, any asshole can accumulate an audience of millions, even if they have no credentials and nothing they say is actually true (like “The Food Babe”, a blogger with no credentials in medicine, nutrition, health sciences, biology or chemistry who peddles health misinformation to the 3 million people who visit her blog every month). It’s very tough for older people (and some younger people) to get their heads around the fact that it’s very easy to create an “official-looking” news source, and that they can’t necessarily trust everything they find on the internet. When you combine that with a tendency toward “clickbait headlines” that often misrepresent the information in the article, you have a generation struggling to determine who they can trust in a media landscape that doesn’t at all resemble the media landscape they once knew. 

These beliefs become a part of someone’s identity. 

A person doesn’t tell you that they believe in anti-vaxx information - they tell you that they ARE an anti-vaxxer. Likewise, people will tell you that they ARE a flat-earther, a birther, or a Gamergater. By design, these beliefs are not meant to be something you have a casual relationship with, like your opinion of pizza toppings or how much you trust local weather forecasts - they are meant to form a core part of your identity. 

And once something becomes a core part of your identity, trying to make you stop believing it becomes almost impossible. Once we’ve formed an initial impression of something, facts just don’t change our minds. If you identify as an antivaxxer and I present evidence that disproves your beliefs, in your mind, I’m not correcting inaccurate information - I am launching a very personal attack against a core part of who you are. In fact, the more evidence I present, the more you will burrow down into your antivaxx beliefs, more confident than ever that you are right. Admitting that you are wrong about something that is important to you is painful, and your brain would prefer to simply deflect conflicting information rather than subject you to that pain.

We can see this at work with something called the confirmation bias. Simply put, once we believe something, our brains hold on to all evidence that that belief is true, and ignore evidence that it’s false. If I show you 100 articles that disprove your pet theory and 3 articles that confirm it, you’ll cling to those 3 articles and forget about the rest. Even if I show you nothing but articles that disprove your theory, you’ll likely go through them and pick out any ambiguous or conflicting information as evidence for “your side”, even if the conclusion of the article shows that you are wrong - our brains simply care about feeling right more than they care about what is actually true.  

There is a strong community aspect to these theories. 

There is no one quite as supportive or as understanding as a conspiracy theorist - provided, of course, that you believe in the same conspiracy theories that they do. People who start looking into these conspiracy theories are told that they aren’t crazy, and that their fears are totally valid. They’re told that the people in their lives who doubted them were just brainwashed sheep, but that they’ve finally found a community of people who get where they’re coming from. Whenever they report back to the group with the “evidence” they’ve found or the new elaborations on the conspiracy theory that they’ve been thinking of (“what if it’s even worse than we thought??”), they are given praise for their valuable contributions. These conspiracy groups often become important parts of people’s social networks - they can spend hours every day talking with like-minded people from these communities and sharing their ideas. 

Of course, the flipside of this is that anyone who starts to doubt or move away from the conspiracy immediately loses that community and social support. People who have broken away from antivaxx and QAnon often say that the hardest part of leaving was losing the community and friendships they’d built - not necessarily giving up on the theory itself. Many people are rejected by their real-life friends and family once they start to get entrenched in conspiracy theories; the friendships they build online in the course of researching these theories often become the only social supports they have left, and losing those supports means having no one to turn to at all. This is by design - the threat of losing your community has kept people trapped in abusive religious sects and cults for as long as those things have existed. 

#missmentelle #askmissmentelle #conspiracy theories #cults #psychology #science #neuroscience

[griffintail]

Can I get Wilbur, Philza, Technoblade, and Awesamdude (separately) dealing with a giggly, happily drunk reader, who is very nice to everyone but immediately goes into “I love youuuu, let me stay with you foreverrrrrrrr” cuddly lovesick puppy mode and proceeds to latch onto them for the rest of the night.

I hope you enjoy this! ♥

In Game and Female Reader

Warnings: Implied underage drinking(?)

A/N: I wanted to do like ten different things with these that would have been tooo long and strayed too far off path and then when I did have something I hated it. So, long story short, I had trouble writing it. Sorry it took so long! I’ve also never watched Sam I’m only just getting to the livestreams he was in with Tommy, I hope his character is good.

        Wilbur

        It had been a celebration of the freedom of L’Manberg.

        Naturally, the men and their lady of the hour wanted to go all out and finally have fun after all the war and bloodshed. There were some things they wanted to forget as well, such as the betrayal of one of their own. For once, Wilbur didn’t join in with the drinking that had started, simply just wanting to rest till what felt like the end of time after everything.

        Luckily, he hadn’t as now as he chuckled at (Y/N) rambling on about how adorable sheep were as they sat on the ground.

        “I mean, we can make them different colors, and they just don’t give a fuck. And their little faces.” She put her hands close together. “I want a pet sheep Wilbur.”

        He laughed as he stood up. “I think it’s time we got you to bed love.”

        “What? No, the party is so much fun.” She motioned with a smile at the men away from them, doubled over in laughter.

        He took her hand, pulling her up carefully. “But I believe you’ve had too much to drink. Your face is red, so let’s get you home.”

        She was quiet before grabbing his hand again, smiling. “Ok.”

        “Good. Make sure you get some sleep tonight boys, we got work to do.”

        He got a few responses between their laughter, shaking his head before he led (Y/N) away through the cool night. Her house had resided outside the L’Manberg walls but Dream and his friends took care of that. So, instead, Wilbur led her to the van, deciding to let her stay there for the night.

        “Alright love. You’re going to stay here tonight?”

        “I like it when you say, love.” She giggled. “It makes me feel all fuzzy.”

        He blushed slightly as he chuckled. “I’m sure it’s just all the drinks you had. Now, you get comfortable and I’ll…”

        He let go of her hand, only to jump as she latched onto his arm.

        “No.” She whined. “Stay here.”

        “What are you doing (Y/N)?” He asked confused.

        “I don’t want you to go. I love you. And you’re so warm.” She huffed, putting her forehead against his arm as she held out a few of her words.

        Wilbur was red as he watched the woman beside him.

        “(Y/N), you shouldn’t say those things. Come on, let’s get your uniform off.” He told her gently as he took his arm back from her only for her to hug him around the middle instead, making him laugh in surprise. “(Y/N)!”

        “Don’t go.” She spoke muffled into his chest. “Stay forever.”

        He softened as he took her hat off, putting it down on a chest as he ran a hand through her hair. “I’m not going anywhere darling. I’m just trying to make you comfortable. So, can we please get your uniform off?”

        She pouted but let go, letting him help her take her jacket and accessories off. Plopping on the bed, she struggled but managed to get her shoes off as Wilbur laid down her uniform next to her hat.

        “Alright, you need to get some rest ok? I’m going to go sleep in the front.” He explained to her, going for the door but she took his sleeve.

        “Stay with me. You’re so warm and you give the best hugs and I love you.” She rambled.

        Wilbur went red again as he looked at the door. He didn’t want to just stay here with her while she was drunk, probably unable to remember any of this in the morning, but she was stubborn even drunk. There was a voice in the back of his head telling him she would most certainly just follow him. So, with a sigh, he sat on the bed next to her.

        “Alright, but you have to sleep.”

        She grinned as Wilbur leaned back against the headboard. Coming over, she hugged him as she put her head on her chest, half on him as she hummed.

        “Good night Mr. President.” She giggled as Wilbur put a hand on her back.

        “Good night darling.” He muttered, running his other hand through her hair.

        It took a few minutes but she fell asleep on him and he was red as he watched her. It did feel warm like this and felt so right and comfortable. Maybe in the morning, after he explained the situation that they were in, he’d finally tell her how he felt to celebrate their victory further. He wasn’t getting any sleep tonight.

          Philza

        Phil had been with (Y/N) for a long time, dating what felt like even longer. They had been on many travels together and seen the same amount of shit in their lifetime. Naturally, that called for a drink or two.

        In the end, it was always Phil that could his liquor better than his girlfriend and he would usually just have a good laugh at her antics. She was very giggly and thought almost everything was hilarious and this time was no different.

        “And, and he just fell. And I felt so bad for laughing but I did.” She giggled as she leaned on the table, Phil giving an amused chuckle.

        She went to take another drink, but Phil took it from her. “I think that’s all for you tonight sweetheart.”

        “You’re so good for me Phil.” She hummed, resting her arm on the table before putting her head in her hand. “Always making sure I’m ok.”

        “Well, you help take care of me too.” He reminded her as he got up, starting to clean.

        “Yeah, but you’re so much better at it. You’re so good at fighting and stuff. You also look good fighting.”

        He laughed at that as he came back over to her. “Do I now?”

        “Mhm. And-And your hair is so soft and your eyes are really pretty.”

        “Yeah, I think it’s time for you to go to bed. Come on.” He helped her up.

        As he did, she latched onto him and he knew what phase she was in her drunkenness, the clingy phase.

        “You’re going to come with me, right?” She pouted up at him as she nuzzled into him.

        “Of course.” He chuckled, putting a hand on top of her head.

        “Good, because I love you. Just don’t tell Techno, he thinks it's gross.”

        He put a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter, nearly doubling over. “I won’t…God, I won’t. Holy shit.”

        “Phil, you’re supposed to say it back.” She whispered as he led her to their bedroom once he could breathe right.

        “I’m sorry sweetheart, I love you too.” He kissed her forehead, making the woman giggle in joy.

        “Philza Craft loves me.” She squealed as she hugged onto him tightly.

        “Yes, yes.” He nodded, chuckling quietly as he managed to unlatch her from him to get her into bed.

        He made sure she dressed comfortably before they started drinking, knowing that this is where it would lead. Before she could protest, he got in beside her and pulled her in, hugging her close as he let his wings unfurl and laid one on top of them. She grinned, nuzzling into his chest, acting as if they didn’t do this all the time.

        “You’re-You’re the best.” She muttered.

        “Thank you, now sleep, angel.”

        “You’re the only angel here. Good night.” She hummed.

        “Good night.”

        With that, the two were able to sleep easily into the night.

          Technoblade

        Just a couple glasses of wine, it will be fine, they said.

        Now Techno didn’t know how the hell to deal with his best friend.

        (Y/N) and a few of the others in Pogtopia had decided to have a few rounds of drinks, Techno deciding to opt-out of it as they made it into a party and he just wasn’t that into parties. Yet, now, here he stood as his best friend was giggling like an idiot at Wilbur’s stupid joke. He didn’t know how easy his friend got drunk but here was the proof.

        Techno was trying to think of a way to get her away from the group without her putting up a fight when Tommy came over to her.

        “Hey (Y/N), you know those diamonds you got the other day,” Tommy asked her, making Techno squint as he listened.

        “Oh yeah!” She nodded with a wide smile.

        “Want to know what would be cool? If I could have them.”

        There was no way…

        “Sure!”

        That’s it.

        “Tommy, are you really trying to scam your ally while she’s drunk?” Techno came over, arms crossed.

        Tommy paled as he quickly waved his hands. “No! No! Why would you think that! I’m just going…I hear Tubbo calling for me!”

        The younger boy scampered off as Techno looked at (Y/N), seeing her pout at him.

        “That was mean Techno.”

        “He was trying to steal from you (Y/N), you’ll understand in the morning.” Techno rolled his eyes.

        “Tommy wouldn’t do that. I’m going to apologize to him for you.” She huffed, but Techno grabbed her arm.

        “Nuh-uh.” He shook his head as he pulled her back in front of him. “You’re not going anywhere; you’re staying here with me so I can make sure you don’t do something you’ll regret in the morning.”

        Then the girl smiled, giggling again. “You always look out for me Techno.”

        He was sent through a loop by her sudden change in emotions but merely shook his head. “Because I have to. You’d be dead without me.”

        That wasn’t true. While his friend was one of the nicest people he met, you mess with her and she became a whole new person that could hold her own with ease.

        “E-Exactly.” She hummed, hugging onto his arm, making him stiffen. “You’re so great Techno.”

        “Yeah, I know.” He tried to brush the emotions he felt off as he decided to make use of her holding onto him to lead her away.

        “I hope you never leave Techno.”

        “I can’t ever leave you.” He muttered truthfully.

        “You’re really good at keeping secrets, right?” She asked as he brought her into her room in the cavern.

        “I’d say so, yeah.” He nodded.

        “I’m going to tell you a big secret. You can’t tell Technoblade.” She said and he opened his mouth to say he was in fact that same person but she spoke first. “I love Technoblade. He’s just so cool and nice and I love him.”

        Techno.exe has stopped working.

        Techno tried to remember where he was and what he was doing. It took a few tries but he finally got his mind working.

        “Heh?!” He looked at her in shock.

        “Shh, he can’t know Techno.” She giggled.

        “…I don’t what the hell I’m going to do with you.” He mumbled, taking off his mask to run a hand down his face.

        “You’re going to keep it a secret right?” She pouted at him.

        “Yeah, now you need to go to bed. Like, right now.” He decided, taking his arm from her and turning for the door only for two arms to wrap around him from behind.

        “No! You promised you wouldn’t leave.”

        “I’m not leaving you idiot; I’m going to my room and letting you sleep yours.”

        “Please don’t go Techno. I always sleep better when I know you’re close by.”

        He didn’t know what to do. What were you supposed to do when your best friend you liked told you while they were drunk that they liked you back thinking you weren’t the same person?! His mind was fried and he didn’t have any ideas of how to get her to relent, so instead, he did.

        Sighing, he took his arms off him so he could turn around. “Alright, come on. Get comfortable.”

        She grinned before going over to her bed. After only taking a jacket and her shoes off, she got comfortable and he gave a long sigh before sitting beside her. As soon as he did, she put her head in his lap, humming with that dorky smile.

        “Go to sleep. I’ll be here.” He promised as he ran a hand through her hair.

        “Thank you. Good night Techno.” She muttered.

        He didn’t say anything as she fell asleep. Yeah, he didn’t know what the hell he was going to deal with this in the morning, but he supposed he should just enjoy this moment.

        Awesamdude

        “Fuck!” (Y/N) shouted across the room where the Badlanders were spending the night.

        “Language!” Bad shouted at her.

        She giggled with Ant, Sam chuckling as he watched the two. It was just a simple party, nothing to celebrate just a moment between friends with a few drinks sent around. Sam had participated in some of the events but had stayed out of most of it, deciding instead to watch his friend as she had a generous number of drinks.

        “I’m sorry Bad! I didn’t mean it!” (Y/N) called to him.

        “You should do it again though.” Ant tried to convince her.

        “No, I don’t want to be mean to Bad.” She laughed, going to have another drink.

        “I think that’s enough for now.” Sam intervened, taking the drink carefully from her hand.

        “Aww.” She pouted. “Ok. Thank you, Sam.”

        He nodded as he put it down. “Good. You can still have fun, just nothing more to drink.”

        “Alright. I can do that Sam. Have some fun with us?”

        “Sure.” He agreed.

        He didn’t do much with the group, however, mostly just sticking by the young woman’s side, though he didn’t have much choice in the matter. He had already planned on keeping an eye on her as he did know how easily tricked, she was into doing what others wanted, such as shouting fuck across the room, as they had been friends for a while; but this time was different. Usually, it was a fight to get her to stay by his side but this time, she refuses to leave his side.

        The creeper-hybrid was genuinely surprised as she followed him where ever he went.

        “Normally you want to be with everyone else, what’s new today?” He raised an eyebrow.

        “I just want to stay with you forever!” She grinned as she took his hand. “That would be nice wouldn’t it?”

        He looked at her surprised as he nodded slowly. “Yeah, that would be. But, why do you want to?”

        “Because I love you silly.” She said as it was the simplest thing.

        “I uh…” His smile grew as he processed her words. “Really?”

        “Duh.”

        He didn’t mean it to go to his head as his friend was drunk but it did.

        “What about me do you, love?”

        “You’re super smart and you’re really good at fighting.” She started to list and he laughed.

        “Alright, alright. No need for all that. Maybe we should get you home. I think you had more drinks than I realized.” He scratched the back of his head.

        “Aw, ok.” She gave a pout before he led her away and to her home.

        He took out her hidden spare key she had told him about and unlocked the door as he went inside.

        “Ok, home safe and sound. You get some sleep alright? I’ll see you in…”

        “No.” She whined as she grabbed his arm. “You said it’d be nice to stay forever so please Sam. Stay.”

        “No, I think it’s smarter if I leave so you’re not confused in the morning.”

        “I don’t care. Please, Sam. Stay.” She pouted at him and he felt his heart race slightly before humming.

        “Yeah, ok. Just to make sure you’re alright.” He nodded. “I’ll stay in the living room.”

        “No, come with me. It’s cold and you’re warm.” She said, making him blush.

        “I uh…Hey, slow down.” Sam protested as she dragged him along by his hand. “(Y/N).”

        She pulled him into her room and sat on her bed, giving him a puppy dog eyed face. His heart melted as he tried to stay strong but sighed.

        “Ok, but if you kill me in the morning, I’m haunting your ass.”

        She grinned, throwing up her arms. “Yeah.”

        “Ok, ok, come on. Let’s get comfortable.”

        The two of them shed the unnecessary layers and laid in bed. (Y/N) cuddled into Sam’s side and he put his arm around her back, gently running a hand along her side. Before another word was breathed, (Y/N) was asleep and Sam chuckled lightly.

        “Good night, I hope you say the same thing tomorrow.” He muttered before sleeping himself for the night.

#mcyt x reader #wilbur soot x reader #technoblade x reader #philza x reader #awesamdude x reader #mcyt fanfiction

[witchlyboo]

Definitely, maybe.

Part five: The one who belongs to someone else.

Introduction. Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four.

Paring: Latina!reader x Logan Lerman x Tom Holland x Ben Hardy x Timothee Chalamet x Pedro Pascal x Michael B. Jordan

Warnings: Swearing, angst, misspellings, some Spanish, me learning how to write properly, and NY stuff that I've learned from movies that we all agree to pretend are real.

Word count: 6.4 k

a/n: You been asking for smut, I know, I know, I just wanted to introduce you to all the boys first, and we're getting there, just one more ahead. Also, I'm working on a masterlist because we are getting too many parts already.

All body types and skin tones friendly. You can also enjoy it as a no Hispanic reader. Constructive feedback and misspellings correction is always welcome.

Red and blue lights flash the driving mirror.

—No, no, no, por favor que no sea a mi—You beg to the sky looking at the patrol that is asking you to park, or someone else, there's a lot of cars in this part of the city, there's a big chance is the panic who's controlling your senses.—Dios, mi abuela fue a la iglesia cada domingo de su vida y nunca te pidió nada, please let me have some of her divina recompensa.—But that's not how it works, you end up parking with just a few seconds to think what to say. There's a perfect explication of why you are driving a car that is not yours in the middle of the night and smelling like a minibar.

Then this ridiculous thought comes to your mind, you look expensive, you've never seen the daughter of a senator but you must be close to it, it would make you less of a feminist if you just use your attributes? Ugh, you feel sick just to think about it but don't have enough money to pay a fine, and the constant paranoia of being chased all the time as an immigrant will only get stronger.

You pull down your dress a little so your neckline can do its job but you regret it immediately, and you're pretty sure you look more like an expensive prostitute who stole the car of his lover than some influential men's daughter.

—License and registration.—You hear him say when he approaches your window. You don't like this but you have to play the dumb tourist, the pretty foreign girl that is too stupid to be dangerous, with the look you have tonight it shouldn't be hard. But damn you hate cops, any uniformed man that works for the government is your eternal enemy, and you don't know how long you could keep the nice dumb Latina game before spit on his face.

—There's something wrong, officer? ...You?!—Your sexy and fake high voice is ruined when you see the face of the man who stopped you. This night couldn't get worse.

—Wait, what happened with the party?—Evan interrupts you while you finish some notes for work, little remainders for later when you don't have an eleven years old kid running around you, he's not usually this energic and you have to blame yourself for that, you're describing a life of excess and eccentric fun, something you let behind so many years ago that your own son doesn't know even a bit of it.

—Ugh, a nightmare doesn't worth telling.—You remember vaguely most of it but what keeps fresh in your mind is bad enough to don't want to bring it back.

—But if Timothée is my dad I have to know the important things, including the bad stuff.—Sounds perfectly reasonable and that's what makes you groan at him. Sometimes you feel blessed that your kid is better than you in any possible way, and sometimes you want to kill his brain with video games and reality shows like the rest of the parents.

—Ok, cool, but I'll keep all the +18 content for myself, so this part of the story might be blurry for you.—It kinda is for you anyway.

You should’ve known this night was cursed, you had a feeling because a) your earring fell off at the same time Timothée texted you to give you the party address and say he can't pick you up. And b) he won’t pick you up. Your mother would say that’s reason enough to not go, a real gentleman wouldn’t make you go to an unknown place in the middle of the night on your own in a city like this. But you decide to ignore it because you are a modern woman and because it’s worth it. It better be.

The outfit must be something special. You always take your time to choose what to wear, even if just another regular day, and since this isn't the case you thought about it for hours, that made your mind busy enough to not thinking about Tom and the whole love confession. He texted you saying he'll come for you to go to class together on Monday, which is completely impractical because he's way closer than you but is progress and you're going to take it.

You wanted to ask for Sheep's opinion but you thought she might not care, has been a few days since she started acting strange like she's bothered just to see you breathe. You want to blame his boyfriend to take all her time and attention from you but is probably just her new job, she got a small role in a Netflix show, and even when you're so happy for her, that's the event that has changed her into someone completely different. But you give her time, stress can do bad things to people.

The winner is the exact copy you made of the black and white striped dress Cameron Diaz wore in "The Mask" beautiful, classy, and sexy enough without being too scandalous, not that you have any problem with that, but this isn't the occasion, you don't want to feel like you're being too much or too little, just enough, it's supposed to be easy, right? you were born for this. Just adding some big shiny earrings you got on a thrift shop that look like real diamonds and you're ready, not that you own any to compare. Red lipstick, dark eyes, and a messy bun to get that disinterested pitch every look needs.

Getting there wasn't a problem, you were in the rich part of the city, everyone know who, where and what just to brag about it. The excitement is growing with every second, you check your makeup like thirty times in the elevator and send texts to your mom just to let her know where you are, and because you have to share that moment with someone and you are limited of friends these days.

Timothée opens the door with red eyes, drunk, high, or somewhere in between, you know then you were right about the bad feeling. He jumps on you to kiss you and no matter how much you try to explain the delicacy of your lipstick, he does it anyway, leaving a taste of alcohol and shrimps in your mouth. Taking you by the waist he walks you to a group of people you don't know while you're trying harder to fix the red color of your mouth without a mirror.

—Here is the companion I bought, look at her, that's how five grand per hour look like.—They laughed but you were too disoriented to process all the things he said, it was supposed to be a joke? if it is, why isn't he correcting? Instead, his hand goes straight to your ass and presses it to get you closer to him.

—I'm actually an intern in the costume designer department of the new version of "Sense and Sensibility".—You wanted to mention your recent promotion to hairstylist and makeup artist but that might be too pretentious. Anyway, they don't seem to care what you are or not, in fact, they don't even see you, all eyes are on Timothée

—Oh, well, is easy to forget when you're paying them—All laughs again. Who is this person? Who are all these people, actually? You recognize some influencers, a few cast members but there's no sign of the director, other main actors, not even his co-star. You feel like an extra in a movie where someone will be killed in a luxury party, hopefully not you. You take his hand from your body and clear your throat.—I'm just joking my love, she looks stunning, isn't she? I’ll get you a drink.

He leaves and the group of people surrounding you suddenly dissipated like boiling water, you were on your own again and despite some judgmental gazes is like you’re not there, you’re sure you could just take your dress off and throw it to someone’s face and unless Tim says something about it, no one would care. You’re there as his companion, an ornament, and that’s not enough to earn their attention because it’s too obvious you’re the one in turn.

You walk to the only window no one is smoking and check your phone, you know, the thing you do when you pretend you have important issues to attend, but no, you end reading some old messages, pictures, texting your mom of how much fun you’re having at the party, and somehow you check your filed Facebook messages to find Logan’s name. You cover the screen so fast you hurt your nail, his name is enough to make you tremble like a Chihuahua, you haven’t talked to him since that night, you know from his sister he lives in the house he bought for you two and he’s having the happiest life without you. You want to believe that because that means you took the right decision but deep inside… no, you can’t be that person, you want him to be happier than ever.

You find the guts to open the message, and you read as slowly as is humanly possible. “My angel, I hope this finds you in perfect health…” Dios, just Logan could start a message like that, your smile is almost too big to fit in your face so you bit your nail to cover it a little. “I recently found one of the human body drawings you made for me to study, you’ll be happy to know…”

—That’s a fucking long-ass message.—Tim appears behind you and takes your phone from your hand, spilling some of his drink on your dress in the process. Apparently, he's been there long enough to read part of the message.

—Give it back.—You command in the most severe voice you have, your magical moment got ruined and you remember the hole of hell you are.

—"My angel, I hope this finds you in perfect health. I recently found one of the human body drawings you made for me to study, you must know I still use them now and then"—Timothée starts reading the message, and even when no one is close enough to hear it and you don’t really care about this people’s opinion, that’s not for anyone to read, that’s one of the few parts of your life you treasure the most and you’re not ready to get over it.—You little slut, are you cheating on me with a med student?

—Give it to me.—You repeat trying to take the phone from his hand but he’s faster and walks away putting it out of your reach.

—"I meticulously preserve them, I certainly know any piece of art made by you will be priceless in the near future"—You don’t want to hear it coming from his drunk mocking voice, so you try to ignore what he’s saying and put more effort on chasing the phone.—Should I had kept the jeans where you left the wet spot on? I didn’t know you were an artist, my love.

—Timothée, por el amor de Dios.—Now you're trying to climb him, it wouldn't be that hard to take him down, he's skinny and you're fierce. That's what you thought but he's not moving even with you are on top of his shoulder and his opposite long arm keeps the phone away from you.

—Who is this guy and why is he talking to my girl like this?—You see the olive eyes getting darker and the tone of his voice went deeper than you thought he could do. You desist from taking the phone, you know the bullies love the attention, maybe that's exactly what he wants and give it to him just makes it worse.

—I'm not your girl.—You claim fixing up your dress having enough of games, and you have no reason to keep worrying about losing your job, the filming is done, and apparently your relationship with him too. You don't care about any of that anymore, just want to read Logan's text.

Even behind all the alcohol and the eyes injected in blood thanks for who knows what kind of drug, you can see the disappointment and anger, but it's not a broken heart, Is the hissy fit of a child that loses his balloon and now everyone will pay for it, especially you.

—Are you sure about that?—You can see him swallow hard, almost looking vulnerable, but his voice is defiant and threatening to prove you wrong. He just has to stretch out his arm to reach the open window with your phone in hand, his intentions are clear and the only thing you can do is raise your hands as a reflex.—You were mine the moment you put a foot on my trailer, and I don't fucking share my stuff.—Before you can say a word he drops the phone from the fourth floor.

You know is senseless but you find yourself running out of the party and going to search the device, using it also as an excuse to get away from that place. This is the first time someone makes you feel meaningless, you know the famous' world is cold and lacking in empathy but this is ridiculous, they're a bunch of parasites fed by attention and power. By Timothée.

The screen is crashed and the rest of it is probably beyond repair, not that you're surprised, its life is longer than you've been in the country and you admit you should have replaced it much earlier but you're not the kind to throw away things that still work. However, is not the phone you are worried about, not as much as what it contains.

—That was obsolete anyway, I'll get you a better one.—You didn't know he was following you, his voice interrupts your self-wailing. He sounds calmer and a little embarrassed, but not enough to say sorry, you don't think he's capable of saying it.

You shake your head and start to walk away without a word, you don't want anything from him, not materially, at least.

—Don't make a scandal out of it, it's just a phone!—He yells erasing any trace of regret in his voice. He doesn't see the reaction he expected and that's when he runs after you and with a hand on your upper arm pulls you back, you gasped for the sudden bluntness.—That annoying habit you have of leaving when I'm talking to you.

You push him away with all the strength you have, which resulted in him almost falling on the ground.

—I don't care about the stupid phone!—You finally break, but sadly is not as satisfactory as you thought it would be.—You are mean, vain, arrogant and the worst part is that you enjoy being this despicable human because you have absolutely no consequences to it. Everyone around you just accepts it and I feel so sorry for you because the only possible way for you to fill the void inside is to be surrounded by that crowd of mules licking your steps—To your surprise, he has nothing to say, he's just standing there with no facial expression, whatever he feels is easily covered by his years of experience acting, even drunk.—I can't give you that and it's obvious they don't want me either. What am I even doing here?—You ask yourself thinking where would be the best way of getting a cab, is a rich zone, must be easy.

—Everything is better when you're around—His voice is thin and fragile, you have to process what he said three times in your head to understand his words. You're not willing to look at him yet.—You're not like the others.

—Pure bullshit. You love to repeat that misogynist discourse of girls being in a certain way because is easier than be responsible for the people you choose to be—You were hugging yourself the whole time, is a cold night, but not enough to be bothersome, you enjoy Fall weather—You got me for a moment, I give you that, you fooled me but I'm too tired of guessing what version of you is real—When you return your gaze at him, he doesn't try to hide the guilt anymore, but there's still haughtiness in there.—Now, if you don't mind Mr. Chalamet, I need to get a cab.

—No, you came with me, you leave with me.—There's no trace of alcohol in his voice anymore, a good scolding is enough to put you sober, you know that thanks to your mom. Oh god, you're becoming her.

—You didn't bring me here, gigantic head—You look at him and put your hand in front of him with the palm up. He stares at it for several seconds before put his own on it—Not that!—You shake it and start looking inside his jeans pockets until you feel the metal of his key car.—You can't drive and I have to get home. You'll find it in the studio tomorrow.

That's how you ended with a car way more luxurious than you expected, driving so slowly and carefully that the police stopped you. What a night, but at this point, you couldn't care less about anything that is not that message, is been months and you can't get over it, over him. Not even Ben moans, Tom's comforting arms, or fight with a movie star at 3:00 am. is enough to get him out of your mind.

—So is true, you don't wear anything that hasn't appeared in a movie, huh?—Michael B. Jordan is leaning on the car window with a mocking smile and a sparkle of satisfaction that you would love to punch but his uniform keeps you in line, where you come from police is not equal to justice, most of the times is oppression.

—You know where it's from?—That was kind of comforting, no one at the party noticed. Not that you care.

—Is The Mask, not some Adam Hitchcock's blurb.—He smiles and even when you really don't like him, it's nice to be with a familiar face, you are really tired of running away, scaping for problems that are a result of your null capacity to deal with emotions. Ugh, what a word.

—Is Alfred Hitchcock, actually.—You didn't want to sound priggish, but you correct him with no time to stop yourself, an old habit.

—You got me, smarty, you know more than movies than me. Where did you get this car?—You feel really nervous even when you got this legally, you have your documents and license on time and he's being nice enough to not want to run away in a car that you technically borrowed for yourself.

—It's not mine.—No shit, Sherlock.

—No shit, Sherlock, I was asking where did you steal it.—You wanted to laugh but there's something with the uniform that just doesn't allow you to be yourself.—Are you drunk?

—No, no, fuck, no, it's just, I don't feel comfortable with cops—He raises his eyebrows but that is his only reaction.—Listen, is my boss' car, I'm doing the favor to take it to the studio, and I'm really nervous because is fucking expensive, he's an asshole, I haven't drive un almost a year because you people only use cars if you're rich or your work and lives depend on it. I'm starving.—The last part came out of nowhere, you haven't eaten anything in almost 13 hours, maybe that's the actual reason why you are that moody.

He doesn't answer right away, takes his time to look at you, what makes you blush, he's really close, closer than he's ever been. Does he smell like green apples? Not the actual apples, the artificial smell they had given to them.

—Get out of the car.—Oh no, is he arresting you? Is he finally taking revenge for every time you make fun of his Hawaiian-type shirts? You know you have too much karma accumulated and a cop making you pay for it when you don’t believe in their sense of justice is kinda poetic, and evil.

You don’t want to discuss with someone with a taser, gun, pepper spray, or who knows what else. So you take your bag, the key car, and get off defeated.

—My turn is almost over, I’ll take you to eat something, c’mon.—He walks back to his patrol and you stay still for a few seconds still processing his words, you must look totally devastated for him to offer that. How you see it you have two options, go with him and spend an awkward hour with a person you don’t like or risk getting a fine, Tim can pay it, it’s not a big deal but you don’t want to owe him even the minimal thing.

You get in the car holding on to your bag to feel calmer, this is the first time you’re fully alone with him since you found him half-naked in your kitchen. Those defined abs may never leave your brain.

—Are you cold?—He interrupts your thoughts with his question, you didn’t notice you were shaking. He looks for something under his seat and gives you an NYPD hoodie, you hold it doubting your next move, is not like you don’t appreciate the gesture but it’d be easier to take if it doesn’t get that words printed—Is clean.—He says chuckling when he sees the way you’re looking at it.

—Is not that, just, you know, fuck the police, defund the NYPD, demilitarize the pigs and that stuff.—You say putting on the hoodie anyway, is a cold night and you won't help the institution wearing their propaganda.

—Yeah, I get it, but you can't change the system just from within.—You decide is not the right moment to have a political conversation so you shrug your shoulders and discreetly smell the hoodie, a mix of cologne, green apples, and cheap soap, you know is cheap because you buy the exact same, do its job.

—I'm in the mood for pizza.—You say casually, making a deal to yourself to try to be his friend, he is a small part of your life anyway.—Domino's is open at this time of the night?

—Tell me you're not consuming that shit, dear Lord, you been here for how long, two years? I can't believe your idea of a good pizza is Domino's. Stella hasn't taught you anything?—You're surprised by the level of condescension with a pizza and you mirror his smile, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Your school program includes people from all around the world so you don't have that much experience with actual new yorkers. Logan is rich, so he doesn't really count.

—What's wrong with Domino's? I don't buy much street food, is cheaper to buy things on the food market. Besides, all pizza is good.—The mention of Sheep makes you a little tense, so you don't say anything about it, is not a conversation to have with him.

—Don't blaspheme in the patrol, I just washed it—You laugh, finally, after a terrible weekend. You can see why she likes him, there is something about his voice, smile, and his eyes that feel... calm, like watching Friends after a marathon of Lord of the Rings.—There are rules to survive this city, and I'm surprised you have made it this far without a proper guide.

—Chill out Mr. Miyagi, I'm not from the jungle, and I've learned a lot by myself.—He gives you a lopsided grin as a request, and you put your fingers up ready to enlist your acquired knowledge.—Walk fast, like you're about to be stabbed, something that actually happened to me, with an umbrella—He nods and laughs being related to it.—Number two, no small talk, no one cares, even if they ask. Number three, if you look a stranger in the eye, especially a homeless person, you have essentially invited them to approach you.

—Number four, we never eat from Domino's, Papa John's, Pizza hut, or any other chain restaurant, only trucks and local places are allowed.—You roll your eyes but you get the point, is just, again, you're not much into street food, it doesn't taste like home and the only way to eat food like that is preparing it yourself.

—Fine, fuck capitalism, let's support local places—You make an obvious fake enthusiastic tone but he nods proudly.—Number five, you don't need a car to live here, not even know how to drive. I would have successfully avoided this police brutality if I had followed that rule.

—For someone who is about to eat for free, you whine too much.—He parks the car and gives you a sign to go with him. You see him go to a pizza truck and order, you realize at the moment how ridiculous you look, so before chasing him you let your hair down, take your huge earrings off, and roll up the skirt of your dress until your mid-thighs letting the hoodie cover the rest, and clean the red lipstick with a Kleenex from your bag. Now you look more like a college person and not a rich girl who just got seized.

—Here you go.—He says giving you a slice as big as your head, looks oily and spreading cheese everywhere. Perfect.

—Is it vegan?—You ask receiving the food with an obnoxious face. His kind grind turned into a dread expression and you give him your second laugh of the day.—I'm kidding.

You are about to give it a bite when you see passing next to you a huge rat with the exact same slice as yours in its mouth, running into the dark of the night happy to have obtained the food for its family. They use to scare you when you just moved out but now they're like any other pigeon in the sky.

—Rule... whatever, a rat with a slice of pizza is a symbol for good luck, congratulations.—He pets your head awkwardly, not sure if you're ok with the physical contact, which, surprisingly, you are.

—I see rats with bagels all the time.—Pizza and bagels, that's the main culinary wonders of the city, you like it, not much to object but is hard not to compare it with your home's food.

—Is easy to confuse a rough diamond with a simple rock.—You both eat in silence, enjoying the mixed sounds of the city and all the different smells, the whole situation feels like one of those lofi music videos. You remember thinking about moments like this before getting the scholarship, what would it be like to feel normal in the city of your dreams.

—How do you know that much about movies?—He asks after a few minutes when you take a break to drink something, that pizza is not easy to take.

—When I was a kid a spent much time on my own, so my dad bought me a used DVD reproducer, and at the corner of my neighborhood was this movie store where you could buy 5 pirate movies for one dollar. They were blurred, with a terrible sound, and most of the time with the wrong movie inside but they helped me to not feel lonely. Eventually, the store closed but I've watched everything in it by then—He gives you a warm smile, you never told that story to anyone, not because is too intimate to share, but because no one asked, it doesn't sound like a question with a complex answer.—Anyway, I watched Marie Antoinette when I was like eight, and I decided at that moment that however is done I wanted to be part of that magic.

—You hear all kind of people chasing dreams in this city but is hard to find someone who actually deserves it.—You blush and you cover it with your hair but the smile on your voice is impossible to hide.

—Is that a compliment? You must really want me to like you to date Sheep.—You laugh but you can see his face tense, so you can guess your friend has been busy breaking everyone’s hearts.

—She hasn’t returned my calls in three days so I don’t think there’s much you can do—You nod, all this time you thought he was the reason she is ignoring you but apparently you are both in the same boat.—But yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking, what I should have said is, Marie Antoinette at eight? I can see where all the damage started.

You gasp and throw your napkin at his head, he easily catches it without even looking at it and laughs; that was unexpectedly attractive.

—Why a cop?—You ask, not sure where that question came from, maybe you authentically want to know more about him, he just bought you food, and honestly, that's the easiest way to win your trust.

—I wanted to be an actor when I was a child. This is the city of opportunities so you may think that if you want to chase the big wonder, this is the perfect place to do it. But I grow up surrounded by these people giving their entire lives to get something just given to one in a million so I decided is not worth it. For many years I wondered what I wanted to do with my life and the answer was really clear, my dad was a cop, a good one, or that’s what people say. I don’t remember much because he died when I was seven—Conversations about death are not your strength, everything can turn out uncomfortable if you choose the wrong words.—It might not be that glamorous but if my father died for it, it surely worth it.

—For the good ones.—You raise your almost empty can of Coke and he does the same with a grin that warms the cold weather of the night.

—For the good ones.

The next two hours passed like minutes talking about anything and everything. It just felt right to talk freely with him, you didn’t feel judged for your awkward family moments or your random thoughts, not even once because he told you his too. At some point of the night he borrowed you his gym sweatpants, any of you could just suggest going home but that was off the table, end that peace just for weather reasons would have been a tragedy.

—I read Timothée Chalamet is a dick. Is that true?—The mention of his name remains you of your life and everything that comes with it, including the middle semester project that you must dedicate your entire day, one that is about to start.—What, you can’t talk about it?

—He is a complete dick with no sense of privacy or human decency—And when he interrupts a deep kiss to look at your eyes, smile, and caress your chin, you feel like a character of his Victorian movies. But he didn’t ask that.—But the next week he’ll be no longer my problem.

—That’s why we have rule twenty-three, don’t ask for a picture of a celebrity unless they are local—You have heard about it before but you haven’t got the opportunity to decide if you like that rule because the only celebrities you have seen are from work and that club’s party opening.—That means you’ll be free to go to the Stephen Kings’ movie projection there will be for Halloween.

You don’t know if that was a proposition, a suggestion, or just a simple recommendation, and whatever it is, you noticed he was nervous to ask. Is it wrong? It feels wrong like you were betraying your friend accepting to hang out with his boyfriend without her consent. But he didn’t ask you to go with him so is safe to answer.

—Yeah, I guess—You get a moment, four seconds top, where you shared innocent, curious, and tenting gazes like three graders in the playground. And that’s the further you will allow yourself to go.—We better leave, if the sunlight touch me I’ll turn into dust.

You get off the car hood and go to the side door, but this time he opens it for you. You give him a “seriously?” Look, receiving a little push in your arm as a response.

↬☀︎︎

A distant voice asks you to wake up, softly whispers that turn into caresses on your cheek, your eyes feel so heavy, even when you are well aware of your environment your eyelids keep closed.

—Good morning, Princess—This is the first time Tom calls you that way, the change from silly nicknames to Princess is enough to get you out of hibernation. He is squatting beside your bed, his smile is the promise of a better day, and chasing that idea you give him one small back.—Your mom has been texting me desperately all day, she said you're not answering her calls and is worried.

—Fuck, my phone broke last night, can I call her from yours?—That’s an oversimplification but in the search for a better story, that's what you decide to believe and tell. Tom nods and gives it to you, he looks happy, beyond that, this is the first time you see that subtle blush on his cheeks and the eyes sparkling. You sit on the bed next to his body looking for your mom's number, slowly he moves between your legs, you have shorts and an oversized Back To The Future t-shirt, you got took the time to prepare yourself to bed last night and keep Michael’s clothes inside your closet to wash them, like The Tell-Tale Heart, a little innocent secret who feels dirty somehow

The conversations with your mom are always long, nostalgic and the tears are hard to hold for both parts; after a long life sharing almost every day with her, her absence never feels smaller. But this time is different, Tom is exploring the bare skin under your knee with his warm hands, asking for permission with curious eyes, and when you don’t object to the touch the British boy keeps his exploring mission cautiously, giving special attention to see your eyes in case something change. Is time to hang up when he gives a long and loving kiss to your knee, the less erotic kiss you could think of but so intimate to bristle your skin.

—Not nice to touch someone's daughter when is talking to her mom.—The protest of your voice loses strength at every word, he heard that and just straight his back to reach your face, the gap is almost extinct.

—We're okay, she likes me.—He assures holding your hips and pulling you a bit to him. Tom looks very comfortable with the new closeness authorization, you like it but are not very sure about it yet, most of you still think of him as your best friend.

—Did she tell you that? Are you talking with my mom behind my back?—You laugh when he does, almost like nothing changed.

—She adores me, I swear, I'm invited to Christmas, you know?—You're not surprised, she invites everyone, Logan was too but the first time he got family plans and didn't make it to the second.

—You should go, maybe we can do...—His lips touch yours in a peak at the middle phrase and makes you forget what you were about to say.—Man, the audacity to interrupt...—Then he kisses you again, deeply, using his tongue to taste your inner lip and his hands holding your shirt in fists. That's a twist of events.

—Is that ok?—You hear a weak whisper coming out of his voice but you got so mesmerized on his lips that decided to ignore it and kiss him back instead. He responds to your touch and starts to lean over you to make you lay on the bed.

Jesucristo bendito, is this happening? like, actually happening? you must look like trash, you barely took all the makeup from the night before and didn't take a shower, you start to get so worried about smells, feelings, and what that'll mean to your already too much-spoiled friendship.

However, the time of doubts is done when Sheep starts yelling in the living room, you both reacted running to the sound and looking for your blonde friend. Michael is there but doesn't look like the same as a few hours ago, is annoyed and tired for the lack of sleep, a look that doesn't match him at all.—What did you do?—You ask him fast assuming she's mad for something he did.

—Just in time, the star of the movie, I was wondering how much it will take you to be the protagonist of this.—That is Sheep's voice talking about you and what must be your heart breaking from her words.

—Excuse me?—You wish your tone would be less savage but you can't help respond the same way she did.

—Logan wasn't enough, then you got the drummer, fucking Timothée Chalamet, Tom and now my boyfriend. I'm so glad I didn't leave you alone with my dad or I'd be calling you mom now.—You have no words to that, Michael doesn't even dare to look at you, he must have told her something she misunderstood, but Sheep, or well, Stella is saying things she actually thinks and keep to herself. Tom walks in front of you whispering things to her to calm her down but she is not looking at him, you didn't tell her anything about Tom either so he's taking responsibility this time.—Go ahead and fuck the whole city, Michael if that please you but you're crossing the line with Tom and you know that, you're going to ruin him as you ruin every man that enters in your life.—She has a very you moment having the last word of the dispute and getting out of the apartment with Michael going after her but not putting much effort in it.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Taglist:

@eridanuswave @cjand10 @deluxeplanteater @rorodendra @navs-bhat @coxxxxxpi @leviosatothestars

Thanks for all the love and support, if you have opinions, suggestions, or want to be part of the tag list (Or don’t want to be part anymore) let me know, I appreciate every message.

#ben hardy imagine #michael b jordan fc #tom holland x reader #timothee chalamet fanfiction #pedro pascal #logan lerman fc #definitely maybe #fluff #angst #timothee chalamet #Tom Holland #Ben Hardy

[apollostears]

boyfriend | k. bakugo

anime: my hero academia

pairing: katsuki bakugo x black!reader

creator: maya

warning(s): swearing

headcanons on bakugo as your boyfriend. it’s a sfw vrs. there will probably be a standalone nsfw vrs. coming out soon. xx also these were not supposed to be this long💀

* photo not mine*

bakugo was not someone you really associated with.

when you first transferred, you acknowledged his presence and thought he was mighty fine, but then he opened his mouth and you were like 🤨

dealing with him takes a lot of energy and it was not energy you were willing to spend, so you kinda just avoided him.

but as usual, niggas can’t keep they mouth shut, and it wasn’t long until you had ended up on his radar.

it was after a sparring session, your first official one with the class, and that’s when he got to see you in action.

after seeing you fight, mans was hella intrigued by you.

when you first came, bakugo didn’t understand what made you special enough to join the hero course.

and since you didn’t talk to him, he didn’t bother you.

until you made your official debut and he was 🤩😯🤯

that made him want to fight you, to see who was stronger seeing as he officially saw you as a worthy opponent.

so long story short, he quickly found out why it was best to leave you alone.

by no means were you scared of him, but he didn’t know that and when he started fucking with you, all bets were off.

bakugo literally had no idea what he was getting into and he was not prepared for the moment you dished his shit right back to him.

japanese was still a little difficult for you, as you had a tendency to forget some words, but you understood and spoke it well for the most part.

and when you were hype about something, both english and japanese words would be flying out your mouth.

after he, and the rest of the class, experienced your semi-irritated side first hand, bakugo was definitely hooked.

it was like a moth being drawn to a flame, he would not leave you alone.

he would try to be subtle about it, but to you and everyone else who knew him (i.e. izuku and kiri) they knew that he had a crush.

y’all were literally day n’ night. most of the time you would be minding yo business and then here he would come, talking shit.

eventually, that changed and y’all were just talking shit just to talk shit.

atp, everybody either wanted y’all to fight or to fuck.

so how did y’all start talking??

easy. with a little game of spin the bottle: 7 minutes in heaven style.

both you and bakugo were competitive and not one to back down from a challenge.

so when the bottle landed on him, kiri knew exactly what to do to push his friend into confessing his feelings.

he said that bakugo would be too pussy to kiss you.

my god did that work.

after mina also betted against your ability to carry out the task at hand, the two of you went into the closet to prove your classmates wrong.

because you guys are psycho’s, y’all went in there angry af at each other to mask the obvious embarrassment you both were feeling.

“you’re such a fucking dumbass” you cursed, arms crossed and a glare on your face.

bakugo scoffed and mocked your stance. “me? says the one who landed on me, shithead.”

you rolled your eyes. “ain’t nobody told yo bobble headed looking ass to sit there.”

cue bakugo looking shook af because he knows he did not just hear you call him a bobble head.

after that, all bets were off.

“you know what, you got a lot of fucking mouth.”

you smirked, knowing full well he was right and that he just couldn’t handle you. “sure do. what the hell you gonna do about it?”

at the time, neither of you would realize it, but y’all were most definitely horny af.

bakugo, now closer to you and his arms uncrossed, held a devious glint in his eyes.

“let me show you.”

and BOOM! y’all was kissing.

like...KISSING!!

it was a little rough at first, with you in shock and bakugo kissing you like a rabid dog.

but once y’all got that rhythm, y’all GOT that rhythm.

the kiss was aggressive passion. like feelings of bottled up desire lit on fire (bars 🔥)

homie did a little boom boom pow on yo ass with his firecracker hands when he was caressing yo shit and that was a top tier move right there.

y’all were definitely in that closet for more than seven minutes until iida came and broke y’all up.

after that, you guys were somewhat dating.

neither of y’all wanted to admit the feelings you had for one another, so you guys just did relationship shit without the label.

kissing in private was a big one because hormones. sometimes y’all would hold hands or cuddle, but v rarely.

bakugo would always carry your bag during school and he’d also carry your lunch tray. not that you asked but he’s such a manly man that he had to do it for the sake of his ego.

instead of holding hands, you guys would link arms and you would lightly press into him. bakugo highkey liked that shit but wouldn’t tell you.

eventually, you guys escalated to seeing each other at night for longer periods and that turned into you spending the night in his room for the first time.

it was also the first time you guys cuddled frfr and bakugo ate. that. shit. UP!!

but because he’s a shy baby, he began to distance himself from you and that made you hurt ngl.

so, figuring that y’all were ‘done’ you did you and hung out with other people.

one of those people was todoroki. the two of you had a platonic relationship, but a strong bond and when bakugo caught y’all akikik’ing, he ain’t like that shit.

that was the reason why he had asked you out rather aggressively in the common area on a thursday afternoon.

once you guys had officially established your relationship, it was like nothing ever happened. he was still carrying yo shit and kissing you in private, but the vibes were different.

the two of you were more gentle to each other.

more loving.

he was still an asshole and you as well, but in an endearing way. bakugo became more open to loving you and more open to claiming you.

he would mainly call you ‘his girl’ or ‘his person’ (you let him watch GA one time and that was the outcome) when referring to you in person to someone else.

gone with your actual name and in were those nicknames. you’d call him ‘su’ ‘katsu’ ‘suki’ ‘honey’ (if you want something) and ‘baby’

bakugo would crucify you if you called him by his real name and vice versa.

your man is a lowkey spoiler. meaning, he spoils you on the low low and in a very subtle way. you don’t really like people buying you stuff nor are you the type to ask anyone for anything, so bakugo does what he needs to do without your permission.

he doesn’t make a big deal about it, but whenever it’s your time of the month and you feel extra shitty, he dials back on being an asshole a bit. or he’ll use his palms and pop little firecrackers on your stomach/lower back to help with cramps.

if you wearing his clothes helps (even if it actually doesn’t and you just say that just to get them) he’ll let you wear his stuff, no problem. he tried to get them back once when you were done but you almost bit his hand off so that didn’t work.

he hates whiners, but he loves when you whine for him. whether it’s for attention or for cuddles or kisses, he lives for it because period you is the only time he’s gonna see that shit. once you’ve figured out that you can get away with mostly everything if you whine, you start doing it a little more when you’re off your period.

besides being on your cycle and taking care of you, bakugo does little acts of service for you as well.

being black in a country that is predominantly not black, is hard and finding hairdressers is even harder.

somehow, with the help of his mom, bakugo was able to find a hairstylist that would do well when doing your hair and that was one of your favorite surprises from him.

like you deadass shed some tears and he was highkey confused but proud because he’s that nigga.

best believe he goes with you to every appointment just to make sure she don’t fuck shit up with his baby’s hair. he don’t got time to watch you cry and commit a crime.

as we all know, mans can cook. you love his food but he (and class 1-A) is absolutely feral for yours. anytime you cook, whether it’s soul food or any other type that you learned to make, he falls in love all over again.

since you love his food, sometimes he’ll make you some meals or snacks. especially if you’re stressed or sad.

this actually turned into him cooking for you + bakusqaud cause they complained about how he never cooked for them. then it turned into him being one of the cooks for the class when you guys alternate cook days.

he was pissed about it but was a little excited to A) woo his classmates and B) make sure they get the right nutrients to be strong and worthy heroes.

bakugo cares okay...

anyways...dates for y’all are planned out when bakugo takes you out, but if you take him out? he never knows what to expect.

once, y’all went to a zoo but it was a petting zoo and bakugo bought lost his shit when the sheep came up to him for food. you definitely have pictures of him angrily riding one of the adult horses.

and he totally rode the bull to prove a point. he won and you unlocked a brand new fantasy.

y’all are so in sync, it’s fucking insane.

there was one time where someone had said some slick shit to you, bakugo was not around, and somehow this man had popped up hella quick like his spidey seneses was tingling, to put that person in they place.

you were like 😦🤪

another time is when you both do/act similarly. bakugo can be v chill and reserved and sometimes you are the same way. the entire day, y’all move as if you’re one.

and honestly, bakugo loves the idea of you being a female version of him. it makes him so proud to see you act like him.

but don’t get it twisted, mans definitely acts like you too. he’s picked up a lot of terms that you use and he uses them like it’s natural.

not too much and not too little, but just enough that it fits and has the right impact everytime.

now, onto the more softer shit

i don’t see bakugo as being the type to automatically share his deepest, darkest secrets with you. nor is he the type to be openly vulnerable.

you weren’t the type either and two hard-ass people were not going to make a healthy relationship. but....shit changes.

the first time you guys saw each other’s vulnerability was when the attack against the camp happened. y’all were only dating for four months, but had started to form a bond.

you weren’t there when he was taken, having to be forced to stay in the classroom with the others. you were unbelievably worried when it was announced that bakugo was the target of this attack.

you tried not to worry because bakugo can take care of himself, but he shouldn’t have to. and after waiting for what felt like hours, you found out that they had taken him.

you didn’t remember collapsing on the floor and crying your eyes out with kirishima comforting you. every moment up until you and the others had went to rescue him, were a blur.

after you guys had got him back and after all might’s fight with all for one, you broke down again and gave bakugo a bone crushing hug.

“i’m so sorry.” you had whispered, that being the only thing able to come out of your quivering lips.

the others had continued to walk ahead to give you guys some space, but you figured bakugo didn’t want to talk since he didn’t hug you back. just as you had went to remove yourself from him, he had wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace.

“don’t be sorry shithead. okay? don’t be sorry.”

his voice was muffled a bit from his lips being on your shoulded, but you heard him and a short sob escaped your lips at the fact that he was comforting you when you should be comforting him.

but your hug was enough comfort as it allowed the boy to feel safe since getting taken and he had shed a few small tears.

after that, things were different. bakugo wouldn’t tell you, but you knew that things were different. he was more aggressive and driven to be the best, but he moved as if he had a weight on his shoulders.

you didn’t know it then, but it was guilt. guilt because all might lost his powers trying to save him because he wasn’t strong enough to get away. after finding that out, you reprimanded him so hard (lovingly).

he needed to know that he was strong but that what happened with all might had nothing to do with him. and after you all got your provisional licenses, but he didn’t? that’s when he really broke.

it hurt you to see him this upset and you knew then that you would do everything in your power to prevent him from ever feeling like that, again.

you guys really grew closer those two months. at that point, y’all really were inseparable.

okaaa out of the sad shit!

he pushes you at the same amount he pushes himself. bakugo wants you to be successful and he knows that you do as well. your ambition almost the same as his, if not higher.

you guys train together a lot after hours. most of the time kirishima joins in and that leads the rest of bakusqaud to do the same.

anything that you ask him to do, bakugo will do it. mans is so whipped for you!!

you get him to do sheet masks with you every other night. and you’ve got him on a skincare routine that was good at first, but now bad for you. because when you wanna be lazy, bakugo will scold tf outta you before you give him the pouty face. at that point, he’s washing your face for you and wrapping your hair up as you fall asleep in his arms. 🥺

bakugo is definitely on your ass about your hair. especially if he paid for it? oh yeah baby, you keepin that shit in til he sees it getting raggedy. but he actually loves being apart pf your wash day routine.

you didn’t have to teach him, he just observed you and one day, when your arms were getting tired, he casually swooped in with a kiss of his teeth and did your hair.

you absolutely went to sleep and the sight alone caused bakugo’s heart to melt. that was one of the times he knew that he loved you.

speaking of love, there were several times bakugo knew that he loved you but he didn’t say it.

he knew that he loved you when you made him breakfast one morning over the summer, during the time he was working himself in the ground to get his provisional license. the bright smile on your face gave him energy despite being drained. that was one time he knew.

the second time was when you had met his mom. y’all were dating for seven months at the time and you really wanted to meet his parents. so, with a permanent scowl on his face, he took you and it was something.

“oh suki look at you!!! you were such a smiley baby!! why you so grumpy now?!” you cooed, gushing over the baby picture of him at ten months.

bakugo frowned, sitting across from you with his dad on the other side of him. “i’m not grumpy.” he gritted out, looking like a complete grump.

“he wasn’t always this way. katsu used to be a very happy baby. you wanna see him at his second birthday? oh it was so cute!” mitsuki exclaimed, flipping the pages in the book to get to where she needed.

seeing you bond so well with his mom made bakugo feel some type of way. despite their dynamics, he respected his mom and definitely held her in a high regard. that was the second time.

and the third time was on your one year anniversary.

it was something simple seeing as you had started your period that same day and were feeling like absolute shit. you felt so bad for being the reason why you guys had to stay in, but bakugo wouldn’t hear it.

“but suki we could go out and sit on the roof!” you whined while simultaneously curling into him for comfort.

just from that action alone, he knew you wouldn’t have the strength to actually move around just to go on the rooftop. your body was hurting and you felt like you could die, no way were you moving.

“relax princess. no need to get your blood rushing anymore than it already is.” bakugo teased, a knowing smirk on his lips.

with squinted eyes, you pinched the skin on his ribs causing him to flinch away from you. “fuck you katsuki.”

“love you shithead.”

*record scratch, pause* wait what?!

bakugo looked calm af but on the inside, mans was wilding. he deadass couldn’t believe he said that shit. like who tf?

you had a look of surprise and awe on your face. completely taken aback by his abrupt confession that you couldn’t really process it.

but you definitely felt it.

with a smile and kiss on his cheek, you drew even closer to bakugo and nuzzled into his side. “love you more suki.”

yeah...he definitely loved you

*join our taglist:* @sweeneyblue1 @knjkitten @simplyskz-maya

#kmimagines #mayawrites #black!reader #ambw imagines #katsuki bakguo x black!reader #katsuki bakugo headcanons #katsuki bakugo imagine #katsuki bakugou x reader #mha katsuki #katsuki bakugo fluff #bnha headcanons #bakugo x black reader #mha #bnha #bnha katsuki #katsuki bakugo

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I'm surprised people see Tadashi as the victim in his relationship with Ainosuke, when it's Tadashi the one who time and time again takes away Ainosuke's agency, without being able to see that he is throwing him unto unhappiness. I can't help but think that if Tadashi was not working at Shindo's house, Ainosuke would have maybe left or broke with the family. But he can't do that if he wants the relationship with Tadashi going on, seing how Tadashi is set on enforcing the family rules...

Hmm.. I def agree with the fact that Tadashi is not what most fandom makes out of him, my man (I mean, Adam’s man) is a 100% Slytherin. But I disagree with blaming him for this, after all the revealed info. The environment they were both raised in made their situation complicated.

I like Tadashi a lot, he’s probably my fav thing about this anime, bc he’s a dark horse, and I’m once again surprised, that so little ppl see him for who he really is, portraying him as an innocent puppy, which he is definitely not.

Now to why I think both Tadashi and Adam are victims of the dad and aunties in this situation. 

We can of course say “if only they told each other how they really feel...”, but like we can say it about any love story really. Every author knows it’s no fun. The truth is that yes, they both hurt each other, and yes, if they were honest about their feelings things would’ve been different, but as I’ve already wrote under that “toxic” commentary on YT, lets look at the whole situation from both of their point of views:

We know that Adam when he was little always treated Tadashi as an equal, he never ever thought of him as someone lower than him and after their fall out, the only reason for this “harsh” treatment (well, besides their confirmed kink) was that Adam tried to get a reaction out of him, so Tadashi would stand up for himself, bc Ainosuke got mad about Tadashi caving to his dad’s wishes and abandoning him, when he needed him the most. 

But now, knowing the fact that Tadashi was his dad’s secretary and was under his control, let’s see it from his perspective: Tadashi wanted to stay by Adam’s side, Adam’s dad implied that if Tadashi did say smth, he’s gonna be.. well, dismissed and they won’t see each other ever again. That’s what caused Tadashi to stay silent in that moment. Ainosuke instead saw this as a “he’s not on my side” thing, well, because. Tadashi won’t tell him his problem, bc dad and aunties control everything, so even if he does tell him, what a teen would do really? He didn’t have any powers back then to make his dad do anything. 

And that’s when it all gone to shit, since they both were hurt for their own reasons. It’s easy to say leave the family, but 1stly nobody explained to Adam still that he’s physically and psychologically abused by his family, he sees it as them “loving him” and sadly also loves them, bc nobody told him, that love wasn’t supposed to be like that really. He definitely feels that smth is not right and feels emotionally exhausted there bc of this treatment, but did he ever consider leaving? I really don’t think so. He feels obligated to be worthy of a family, who “loves” him.

Do you think, for example, that Akashi Seijuro hates his dad for what he did to him? No. Does he understand that he wasn’t at fault for what happened to him and that his dad instead of comforting his child after his mother’s death, who was his only safe haven, made everything worse? I don’t think he does. Like his mom gave him basketball, an escape from all that family’s obligations and strictness. After her death, it was the only thing left that brought him joy, but his dad ruined even that, saying that if he’s gonna be bad at it/lose, he’d take it away from him too. Does Akashi see this as emotional abuse? No, he sees it like “well, I have to be the best bc I was born in such powerful family, so if my dad says that I must be best at everything, then I must.”

I personally hate such parents a lot. To me it doesn’t matter if Adam’s dad didn’t know about aunties hitting his child. Like if he was too busy to notice this and have no time for his kid and made his childhood miserable, it doesn’t make it any better really. 

Same as with Akashi’s dad. Some are like “he was probably also grieving about his wife”. Emm? He was like this from the beginning, bc he treated Akashi not as his son, but as his heir. And yes, that’s different things. Same with Endeavor and Todoroki. Your child is not your post production thing.

2ndly they were too young, even if they knew about each others feelings and he didn’t feel obligated and told everyone to fuck off, they’d be on the streets now, but also Adam’s dad doesn’t seem like a guy who’d leave them alone really. Also eloping seems very romantic, but I don’t think it is, esp when you’re teens. Did you want him to sell some expensive watch and go live on Hawaii or smth? Bc finding a decent job there would be difficult at this age, esp with everyone knowing who your dad is. Chen Ke from “Antidote” survived bc he was 27 and had connections and some great friends. Adam was in high school, where would he go exactly?

Now let’s go back to now. Obviously all this time it didn’t even cross Tadashi’s mind that for Ainosuke he comes first and that he would throw everyone under the bus to make Tadashi stay with him. As we see at the end, he legit believed that Adam was planning to send him to jail and didn’t get that he said it just to shaken he up and that he knew who he’d set up for this from the beginning. 

To Adam obviously it doesn’t matter whether they’re in a quarrel or not, he would never him go. Yes, he’s mad at him, he’s angry and hurt, but Tadashi’s still the person he needs the most, he’s still the person who brightens his days, even tho he deliberately behaves like he annoys him. He always looks at him and looks at him and looks at him, but then hisses smth to hurt him. Bc he knows that he needs him, but he also hates that he needs him, bc he thinks it’s unrequited.

And that’s how their classic romance goes in hellish circles. No one wants to talk as usual. Adam is mad Tadashi is like that bc his dad turned him into a slave with no opinion, while Tadashi is scared that Adam would be taken away from him bc of his ugly family. 

Now I still think that no one and I mean no one can take Tadashi from Adam now, he is his precious. So my plan is... if Tadashi made aunties do smth against him or to get rid of him, aunties will go for sure. The problem is Tadashi still doesn’t get that he comes first, so we’re stuck in this hell still.

So anyways, my point is Adam’s heart basically sings “you got a hold of me, don’t even know your power” to Tadashi, but he doesn’t hear it, bc of his insecurities, the way he was raised and his status. But yes, he holds all the power. He’s both Adam’s sanity and insanity. No matter how cheesy it sounds he was basically his only ray of sunshine in the darkness, if you take it away, that’s what it leads to, that’s why Ainosuke-sama needs more ppl who care for him. I don’t want anyone to die next time, just cause Tadashi and Adam fought about where to put their new couch lmao. I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. And kill the aunties, pls seriously, we need to be free.

Also ppl need to remember that like lots of animes/characters are parcially inspired by some other animes/characters, also the chosen seiyuus are also very important, there are lots of stuff like jokes and references, that creators use, from characters being fully inspired by smth like “Assassination classroom” characters based on KNB, to little stuff like Levi dressed in Akashi’s uniform in chibi AOT bc Hiroshi Kamiya. Utsumi already said before stuff like she sometimes think of a perfect voice for the character and then fully forms him, we also know her clear love for sports animes. So yes, I doubt Tadashi/Kuroko thing is a coincidence and even tho someone was like “zone? is this knb or smth?” I was like no, zone is actually a common thing in sports, even tho most associate it with KNB including me, it’s not like its their invention, but there were things inspired by this for sure, and from other sports animes too and no, I don’t mean the basic sports anime tropes, I mean, like way too specific things, some character designes, too. And yes, Langa appearence and personality wise is a rinharu child for real, I can literally split his scenes in “that’s Haru”, “that’s Rin”.

That’s why I’ve said that this situation in fandom reminds me of Kuroko/Akashi situation a lot, bc same as here in KNB ppl for some reason automatically thought that Kuroko is this innocent sheep and Akashi is the wolf (but also like it was Akashi who chose to dress as red riding hood, while Kuroko was a wolf lmao), not even seeing who is in reality more dangerous and who can easily control who. It just buffles me bc it’s not some deep analisys really. I mean once again there’s a reason for the saying that the sub holds all the power over the dom. 

And like just bc someone yells or threatens ppl constantly doesn’t necessarily mean he is a psycopatic killer, and just bc someone is quiet and doe-eyed, doesn’t mean he isn’t. I didn’t think we needed to explain this to someone, but aparently we do?

And it honestly kills me just how superficially ppl are watching things these days. It really gives me war flashbacks to stuff like the last mdzs s1 episode, where ppl started to comment things like “how LZ can be so heartless” lmao. Or that anonymous ask “do you think haru misses rin?”. Like you don’t see thing at all? Grey substance no needed, while watching things?

P.S. I also would die to see Adam vs Tadashi race just bc I for some reason can bet all my money, that it’s the same situation as with Akashi refusing to ankle break Kuroko, no matter how mad he is. I just can’t imagine Ainosuke hitting Tadashi in the face with a board. Like 100% sure he wouldn’t even try tbh.

#answered #anonymous #tadaai #tadashi kikuchi #shindo ainosuke #adam x tadashi #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #anime #this is what i think about these two at least

[idiots-in-black]

Hot Take: Dazai and Chuuya are friends in canon (1)

I love all the Enemies to Lovers content when it comes to soukoku, I really do. But I will admit, I’m one of the few people in this fandom who actually believes that Dazai and Chuuya do not hate each other.

Now, before I start to explain myself - I don’t want to argue they are romantically involved in canon or that there is a chance they could be (though I wish I could). Also, I’m only talking about events in the canon timeline, so no talking about Wan, Mayoi or anything out of the loads of promotional content. That sadly means I don’t have too much to work with but we’ll see how this goes.

1. Chuuya can see through Dazai

I vaguely remember this being stated in an interview. But that’s not the basis I want to argue on. 

Dazai is ... crafty. And manipulative. Was and is in canon. And on first glance, Chuuya seems to be fooled by that, too. Stuff like the comment on his shoes, for example. But this is small, innocent stuff, why would Chuuya even bother to think about it in more detail. 

But we do see him more perceptive when it comes to the deeper stuff. The first thing Chuuya says to Dazai after his introduction (and a bit of bickering) in the dungeon is “This smells fishy. You may be able to fool the inexperienced Akutagawa but not me. I am your old friend, after all.” (Yes, that last sentence is also canon). The situation in Dead Apple is similar - he knew, Dazai was up to something and he was absolutely sure, Dazai wasn’t dead but had precautions in motion. Even though it is pretty clear they did not talk to each other about this beforehand.

Chuuya is not able to figure out all the details to Dazai’s plans. Of course he isn’t, he may not be as stupid as people like to pretend but Dazai’s brain is on another level. But that’s not the point - he may not be as smart as Dazai but he knows Dazai and knows when he is up to something.

I imagine, for someone this intelligent but also so guarded like Dazai, it must be terrifying to realize there is a person who gets you. And this is a topic for another day but I do believe, this can also be a relief. It can lift a burden.

2. BuT THey HAtE EaCH oTHeR

Do I believe they annoy each other to no end? Absolutely. Does this mean they actually truly hate each other? Absolutely not.

I’ve seen people arguing that Dazai and Chuuya feel genuine hate for each other and nothing else. This really baffles me because while this may be something they say, their actions contradict this statement pretty much with everything they do. 

Chuuya had tons of opportunities to kill Dazai. He wouldn’t even have to do it himself, he could just ... not save him when his life is in danger. We have seen two instances in canon so far where Chuuya could have just left Dazai to die (Dragon’s Head Rush and the Dead Apple incident) but he didn’t. On the contrary, he literally risked his own life in Dead Apple to save Dazai even when Ango told him he was probably dead. You do not do that for someone you genuinely hate.

And I know,  Chuuya says in the dungeon “if you were that incompetent, I would’ve killed you a long time ago”. But I don’t think he said this because he actively tried but because he would not have accepted Dazai as his partner if he was.

Same with Dazai. He literally has Chuuya’s life in his hands whenever he uses corruption. It would be child’s play to just leave him but he doesn’t, instead he comes for him time and time again.

3. Chuuya isn’t Odasaku

I feel like people tend to compare Chuuya and Odasaku too much. It’s easy to make that mistake since Odasaku is to this day the one person who is actually in text confirmed to be very dear to Dazai. But the thing is - you can have multiple types of friendships and this doesn’t mean one is better or deeper than the other. They’re just different.

And I think, this is the case here. We know, Oda was a good friend and very important to Dazai, this is fact. Chuuya is very different from Oda and his relationship with Dazai is also very different than Oda’s relationship with him. However, that does not automatically mean, that Chuuya and Dazai can’t be friends.

Plus, do not forget - Dazai actively sought Chuuya out when he got captured, he did admit as much. Sure, his main objective was finding information about Atsushi’s bounty but it is also canon he foresaw Chuuya coming there and anticipated it.

4. Together they can be the children they were never allowed to be

They met at the age of 15, both of them at a point in their lifes where they had to mature way earlier than they should have. We’re not privy to a lot of details to Dazai’s life prior to meeting Mori. But it can’t have been fun when you look at him and how at 15 he is already obviously twisted in an unhealthy way. We know a little more about Chuuya but while he may not be as broken as Dazai was at 15, he was pretty much alone with the heavy burden of carrying Arahabaki inside himself and protecting the sheep kids.

At that time in Fifteen and I’d bet even for a long time after that, they’re the only people in each others lifes close in age and of similar status. They’re completely equal to each other, even when they get promoted to executives (btw, it seems to me and there are still too many people out there who don’t know that Chuuya was promoted at the same time as Dazai (or maybe even a little earlier?) and Dazai only got the title of youngest executive in Port Mafia history because he is younger than Chuuya by two months).

And you can see them just being children together. When they’re playing in the arcade and nearly every interaction they have as adults just screams childish antics to me. Which leads directly into:

5. The Fucking Bickering

They are just so incredibly ridiculous. I just cannot believe, people acutally think they hate each other. They talk to each other like old friends. Well, with a little more violent touch but I don’t think this is surprising considering the environment they grew up in. When they meet in the dungeon, the first thing they do is bicker for 20 pages before Chuuya proposes a duel (who even does that).

Then they fight for literally 3 pages, before Chuuya starts taunting Dazai again with words instead of beating him up like he said he would.

Now we got through the general stuff, but I will get into more detailed scene analysis in the second part of this post (yes, there will be a part 2). Because even looking directly at their scenes, they don’t read like scenes about enemies. So stay pumped!

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd nakahara chuuya #bsd dazai osamu #soukoku #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #meta #canon material #headcanon #?? can you call it that?? #anyways this took me waaaaay too long #but i wanted to get this out there #i hope i'll have the next part ready soon but no promises #work and my thesis are killing me rn