#I get that men shouldn't be women and vice versa

[secretariatess]

.

#not to sound like a feminist #but I'm not a fan of the female gender being used as an insult even as a joke #I get that men shouldn't be women and vice versa #and I get that women are weaker and slower than men #and those are undeniable facts #but that doesn't mean I like hearing guys call each other girls to #insult or degrade each other #how am I supposed to then believe that my gender is respected? #it's not that I want guys to be effiminate #and I get that guys will rag on each other #it's just *to me* it puts women down as a negative thing to be #and the lesser thing #No I don't believe all guys actually think anything of it beyond teasing their guy friends #so I know most of the time it's probably not meant to be a malicious statement about women #(most of the time but not all; there are men who do believe themselves to be superior to women) #I also feel that those kinds of insults (unintentionally) have contributed to harmful expectations of guys #and to women not wanting to be women #I know it happens in the reverse and I don't condone it anymore than I condone this #I just feel as though I see more of the female gender as insult than the other way around #I'm putting this as a rant in the tags because I'm not looking for a fight or debate #Or even make a political statement which I fear it would become #I just wanted to express an opinion I had on something that bothered me #I just . . . .if we're going to rag on people can we not use the opposite gender as an insult? #Even if it's true it doesn't need to be used as an insult

[blue-sketches]

reading the responses to the post about biphobia is exactly the thing i was talking about in my tags. i didn't want to derail the post, but the fact that some bisexuals think that bi and pan ppl can't coexist is crazy omg.

like it's not biphobic to prefer one label over the other.

it's not biphobic to define the labels differently and recongize that difference as the resoning for your decision of label.

it is NOT biphobic to validate and coexist with pan people.

and all of these are true, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE BI YOURSELF/THE PERSON YOU'RE CALLING BIPHOBIC IS BI.

anyway, the existence and support of pan people is not biphobic.

bi pan solidarity and all that <3

#i feel so strongly about this bros #like the rage i feel for panphobia by bisexual people #and i get that there's a misconception of bisexuality (the idea that attraction is limited to men and women) #but that is the reality for some bi ppl #if you're mad b/c you have to continuously explain your sexuality that's not the fault of pansexuals #they have to do the same thing #ppl saying 'isn't that just *insert sexuality*' happens to both bi and pan ppl (a lot of times from the other side) #so we should be understanding of each other and relating to each other cuz we all know the feeling of invalidation #we shouldn't keep that chain of invalidation going #pan ppl aren't the enemy of bi ppl and vice versa #wonky that some ppl don't get that #sketchyrants #long tags #long post #this has been a psa <3 #bisexual #pansexual

[normalfeminist]

Examples of my personal experience with men being communists only above the waist

I once had a 'communist' guy tell me 'what happens in the bedroom is not the states business'.

He later admitted to beating his girlfriend during sex.

It was actually during another 'communist dude' openly speaking about that his girlfriend 'enjoys being hit' during sex that he felt comfortable to share this. That other 'communist' dude also told all the other 'communist' guys about JK Rowling 'saying that all trans women are just trying to rape women in their bathrooms'. When I asked him where he found that information, he said she just said it on her twitter.

Another 'communist' dude shared that he works in a facility that houses delinquent and violent men and that sometimes, prostitutes are hired to satisfy the 'urges' of the violent men there. He asked us what we thought about that, and the other 'communist' men all started talking about 'seks zorg' ((roughly translated 'sex care', the notion that disabled (and, if we're honest, really all) men deserve sex.)) That same 'communist' dude shared an article in our group chat about the change of definition of consent in the Dutch law with the comment: 'now so many innocent men will be charged'.

What sparked all this discussion? My boyfriend held a talk about how in an ideal state, prostitution would have to be abolished for the sake of liberating women.

We went to a protest when the abortion rights in Poland were destroyed. Their point of focus? Making sure everyone knew how 'bourgeois women' wouldn't be affected by this, because they could 'just fly to another country to get an abortion'.

The party had a side party for marxist feminism. I was interested in joining. When I got to talk to the woman responsible for the side party, the first thing when I said I wanted to join was: 'there are of course men in the party, because they are affected by the patriarchy too'. When I joined my first meeting with the side party, it was led by a man. If you wanted to say something, he had to give you permission to speak.

Another 'communist' (and even 'feminist') guy told me he likes his women spicy, he likes the feminist type. Later on, he said that therapy sessions are more emotionally intens than sex, so sex work and sex in general shouldn't be so emotionally loaded. The stigma around sex work should be reduced, its not like lovemaking is an inherently emotional experience anyway. 'Sex is not holy'.

When I (and my boyfriend) got sick of this, we decided to leave the party.

I decided to join a feminist organisation in the meantime.

Idk why, but I wanted to go back to the communist party. I felt like I was the only sane person left there and thought I could fix the party or something.

I had a meeting with the guy who beats his girlfriend during sex and said 'the bedroom is not the states business, you don't wanna know what I do to my girlfriend in the bedroom' and a 'communist' woman. They accused the feminist organisation I joined of transphobia, and first started asking me all kinds of questions about trans people. When I said that a man cannot change into a woman and vice versa, they said that I was very offensive and that that is purely my opinion and that they needed to take it up with higher-ups whether I could join the party again. The 'communist' woman said that the party is 'considering distancing itself from feminism, because feminism is bourgeois'.

#radfems please interact #radical feminism #radfem #radblr #radfems please touch #terfs please touch

[wc-confessions]

I've recently stepped away from the warriors fandom because after years of just getting angry and pissed with people I've realized that the issue is just there's a real lack of nuanced thinking that happens here. Characters aren't allowed to just be assholes, they need to be villains or abusers, and if you like those asshole characters you're an abuse apologist or support XYZ or some shit. Especially if the character is contentious like, for example, Nightcloud and Crowfeather. If you like Crow youre a misogynist and an abuser and hate women but if you like Night you are an abuse apologist as well but a different flavor this time. I like Crowfeather and Nightcloud's cringefail marriage, it is not that deep. If you like Sparkpelt then obviously you must hate Nightheart or vice versa. Like holy shit it's multiple shades of gray here people it's not black or white it's not one or the other. I am multifaceted I am able to like women who deserved to be treated better by the narrative and the authors and I can also like cringe shit fail whiney men who should die. It truly is not any deeper than that, they're talking fictional cats and I go outside.

Also this is like the only fandom I've seen still knee-deep in stupid petty infighting lgbt+ discourse that no one irl over the age of 15 will give any shit about so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the fandom overall lacks an ability to think.

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

#anonymous #confession #warrior cats #tbh i think theres a lot of fandoms with these issues #but it sure is apparent in warrior cats thats for sure - mod lichenbark

[strwbmei]

Hey Mei, i got a question why are people so agressive with ships? I mean when it comes to ships everybody can come off as agressive in any fandom. However but the little time i enter the Honkai fandom in particular i noticed somethings. One fans insulting other fans from the hoyoverse community (basically genshin insulting honkai fans and vice versa). Two i kid you not i literally read death threats and fans telling other fans to unalive themselves because of ships. I also noticed to some of the people of the community are very hostile to Men in general. I'm kinda scared talking about this. But i'm generally very curious about this topic and i was hoping that you can help me understand why they are so hostile when they belong to the same gaming community shouldn't they band together and demand more of hoyovers? Since in a few occasions i felt like they did the fans dirty. You are more than free to ignore this

I think it all just boils down to people not being able to mind their own business.

Unless the ship is literal pedophilia or incest, there's not really any valid reason to be aggressive about something as insignificant as ships. One thing I really don't get is when people get mad when someone ships person a with person b when they ship person a with person c. For example, Kiamei shippers getting mad at Elymei shippers because "Mei belongs to Kiana!". It's really not that serious. At least, certainly not serious enough to warrant death threats...

I can sort of understand where they're coming from to be wary of men when it comes to gaming. For decades, most men have belittled women and discriminated against them. Mostly saying that "they can't be good at games because they're a girl" or other stereotypical reasons. It doesn't help that a lot of male honkai/star rail/genshin players sexualize the characters for every single thing they do. (Caelus, Aether, and Captain harem) With HYV games where most players I've seen are female, at least in my experience, I can understand feeling wary of men.

Still, that doesn't mean two wrongs make a right. Being wary doesn't justify harassment and outright sexism, it'll only continue the cycle of hate.

#・❥・strwb inbox

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Thinking About Eddie Discovering He’s in a Bi 4 Bi Relationship with Lucy in the Dumbest Way Possible

My sister and I were playing around with idea and it made us laugh so I thought I'd share it with y'all

So Eddie and Lucy have been together for a while, Corroded Coffin is finally gaining some notoriety and Eddie has even gone on a short tour as the opening act for a bigger band

He's known he's bi since he was a kid, but hasn't really come out and is only now getting comfortable with it after living in Chicago for a few years and just knowing that other LGBT people are out there

But the AIDS epidemic is still going on, and all the stuff about bi-men especially is really bad so he's just not sure

However with more press centering around him and the band, he figures it's time he at least tell Lucy rather than have her hear something through the rumor mill

Robin has come out to everybody in the group at this point as well as Will, so Eddie thinks it will go over well, but he's still nervous

It's one thing to support one's friends, but he's not sure how much being her boyfriend will change her perspective on things

So imagine his surprise that when he tells her, not only is she totally accepting, but she even tells him, "it's completely normal"

This phrasing takes him aback and he asks her, "what do you mean by normal"

And she looks him dead in the eye and tells him, "well we all know being straight isn't really a thing"

And he, completely astounded by this statement says, "care to elaborate"

And she's like, "well everybody knows that all girls are pretty, and obviously all guys are handsome, but the trouble is that the church and government need men and women to get married in order to have children to maintain the country's work force and maintain property rights. So, they act like men loving each other and women loving each other as this affront against the nation's values or whatever. Which is so stupid since, again, we all like each other anyway so what does it matter who ends up marrying who? But I guess that's the government for you"

And Eddie is sitting there stupefied because like...she's not wrong? But her round about logic is wild, so he's like, "so when David Bowie says he's bi, what do you think that means?"

And Lucy is like, "well he's just saying the quiet part out loud, which gets everybody really mad"

And Eddie is just nodding along as this point and is like, "okay, honey, I need you to answer me this honestly, what do you think a lesbian is"

And Lucy is like, "a woman who dates women, obviously"

And Eddie is like, "okay good, and a gay guy?"

And Lucy is like, "a man who dates men, I do know what words mean"

And Eddie is like, "okay, so by that logic, if there are women out there who are only attracted to women and men out there who are only attracted to men, shouldn't it then mean that there are guys who are only attracted to women and vice versa?"

And Lucy is like, "no"

And Eddie is like, "well then what do you think a straight person is?"

And Lucy is like, "somebody who dates someone who is of the opposite sex"

And Eddie is like, "then because I'm dating you, am I straight?"

And Lucy is like, "no, you just told me you're bi"

And Eddie is like, "so, you're attracted to women?"

And Lucy is like, "yes"

"And you're dating me, so presumably you like guys"

"Of course"

"So you're bi"

And Lucy is like, "well I've only dated you so, technically I'm straight"

Eddie at this point doesn't know how to proceed and then is like, "have you told Steve or Jonathan this theory?"

And Lucy is like, "oh yeah, me and Steve had a long talk about it and he agrees with me"

Eddie now baffled is like, "what?"

And Lucy is like, "yeah, after Robin came out, me and Steve had a long conversation about it and he agrees that everybody is hot and the whole homophobia thing is stupid"

Eddie now completely exhausted is like, "okay, I gotta make a phone call, I love you and we're going to continue this conversation later"

Eddie then calls Robin who confirms everything Lucy just told him and that Steve was also of the same mind set

She had tried to explain to them what being bisexual meant, but neither of them were getting it so she decided to drop it assuming they'd figure it out on their own

Little did she know at the time that the pair of them were sitting so far in the closet together they had entered a state of nirvana by convincing themselves straight people just didn't exist

Eddie almost feels bad when he eventually has to burst her bubble and finally get Lucy to understand that straight people do, in fact, exist and it isn't just internalized homophobia, but real genuine hatred for people who are different that has been driving so much oppression against himself and others; but, it does make for a more open communication between the two of them and each are allowed to be just a little more themselves around the other

TLDR; Lucy and Steve both think straight people are a conspiracy made up by the government and Eddie realizes he is not, in fact, the dumbest bisexual on the planet

#stranger things #eddie munson #lucy henderson #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson x henderson!reader #stranger things oc #leddie

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

slightly worrying trend ive seen lately is that whenever someone adds on to a post talking about trans women/men with a related anecdote about the 'opposite' (so, talking about trans men on a post about trans women, or vice versa) everyone immediately gets insanely pissed off and starts shouting about how we're talking over each other and this isn't the place for that kind of discussion.

and... idk, I do understand that it can be very frustrating and unhelpful if all the notes are screaming 'and also trans men!' when you wanted to make a post about trans women. that is totally fair and trans women should be able to talk about their oppression without it being derailed.

however, if someone is trying to relate in the tags with their own experiences, provide resources, or speak about how their 'side' of the community is affected too... I wouldn't say that's necessarily a bad thing if it's done in a respectful manner that doesn't just make it 'all about them'.

we are a community. trans men, trans women, nonbinary, genderqueer, etc. all face oppression because of our gender identities. I don't believe it is entirely helpful to split up the community in such rigid ways--to the extent that a trans man or woman is harassed for adding *tags* to a post about the 'other side' of the community. (which i have seen happen)

also, to an extent, we should not be viewing things as binary 'sides' all the time, but that's a whole other issue. yes, transfems and transmascs face different, unique oppressions, but not *so* different that we need to segregate ourselves *all the time*.

and, like, I've seen it get pretty bad. I have seen someone say in the comments of a post about trans women being talked over by trans men (a real issue, I'm not trying to deny that!) "trans men wanna be oppressed sooo bad"

like. no. trans men are oppressed. that certainly doesn't overwrite the oppression of trans women, but trans men are, in fact, oppressed.

[This study explores (among other things) the differences and similarities in discrimination between trans men & trans women, by the way. It only covers American trans people but it is very in-depth and clearly shows that trans men do face discrimination at similar rates to trans women in most areas]

idk I could very well be missing the mark with this one. I want to make it clear that I know talking over trans women is an issue here that shouldn't be dismissed. I'm not trying to deny it or make it seem trivial. Just seeing some very bad-faith readings of people who just seem to want to add their own experiences.

basically TL;DR: it shouldn't be an offense to add on to someone else's post about trans people's oppression with your own 'side' of the community's experiences, though we should all remain vigilant and make sure we aren't talking over anyone (trans women especially).

#lgbt #discourse #trans #transgender #lgbt+ #queer #trans man #trans woman #discrimination #ben chats shit on the internet

[annabellelupin]

Say it with me people, "Fetishing fictional queer people and couples is bad." It doesn't matter if they're "just fictional", it's still very harmful because it normalizes that kind of thinking. You can enjoy queer ships of genders you're not aligned with without fetishing anyone, but it's a line a lot of people cross.

Women can enjoy achillean/mlm couples without only liking achillean couples and electing to ignore sapphic/wlw ships. The vice versa goes for men. It's also not that hard to simply not read smut for queer ships of a gender you don't align with, and it really, really isn't that's hard not to read self insert fanfiction with a queer couple of a different gender. Now, I understand that with genderqueer and nonbinary people like me the line is a bit more blurred, but we're certainly not exempt all together, there certainly still is a line that we can cross, it's just a bit different. And being multispec (bi, pan, poly, omni) isn't a pass either, you can still fetish people of other sexualities despite being queer yourself.

And transgender characters (canon or noncanon) shouldn't be fetished either. Don't bring up the fact a character is trans only in romantic and sexual situations, or only because they have certain body features (assigned at birth features that are just used in sexual situations).

It's just really irritating being in predominantly women and femme aligned fandoms and seeing only achillean ships get any attention because it seems to me like those ships are just being fetished. Honestly, this goes for most of the fandoms I'm in. Male and masc aligned characters always seem to be fan favorites, and in my eyes it's just internalized sexism and fetishing. (Instagram allows you to see statistics such as what percent of your following is male or female, and female is much more significant on my fan account, and fun enough, achillean posts tend to do the best on there).

Fictional or not, it hurts people.

#why does this even need to be said #as a very queer person this irritates me #queer #lgbtq #queer community #lgtbqia+ #mlm #wlw #sapphic #trans #transgender #achillean #stop fetishing queer peoples #gay #lesbian #fandom #harrypotter #marauders era

[tjmystic]

I think we all need to focus on accepting subjective truths more.

The cultural obsession with "fake news" and the fact that fascists everywhere are saying and doing the most heinous shit ever while simultaneously denying it has caused a counter-obsession with objective facts. Which is reasonable and necessary, to be clear: conversations like, "You just killed a Black person for being Black, we have evidence" / "Well, that evidence is just your opinion" should never happen, and we need to keep holding people accountable.

However, we shouldn't apply that same mindset to people's identities. The main example I'm thinking of is the way that both gay people and straight people act about bisexuals. I "get" it from straight people in the sense that a lot of straight people haven't done a lick of personal reflection on sexuality and, thus, are super bigoted about anyone who isn't straight. But I couldn't understand, for the longest time, why gay people treated bisexuals with the same disdain. "You're just faking it, you're actually straight but just a predator, you're actually gay but just repressed," like, no? They're bisexual. They like both. They like all. That isn't a lie. It only started to make sense to me when it clicked that the gay people who have these feelings view bisexuals as an attack on their identity as gay people. They see bisexuality as a legitimization of their personal trauma. After years of being told, "Why can't you just TRY to like the opposite sex/gender?" and, "You'll eventually find someone of the opposite sex/gender attractive," the fact that this could be true for someone makes it feel like they're being attacked.

We see the same thing with the queer community about asexuals. They've fought so long for sex positivity that the idea of someone who isn't sex positive at all feels like an attack. Same with aromantics. They've fought so long for their love to be seen as beautiful that someone who isn't interested in romantic love feels like an assault. Same with trans and nonbinary people. They've fought so long to legitimize their attraction to the same gender that the idea of someone changing genders for any reason feels like a slap in the face.

You even see it with religion. So many people have been traumatized by religion that they view anyone having a positive relationship with their religion, whatever that religion might be, as a personal assault. Or, conversely, you have people who find so much joy and peace in their religion that the idea of someone having a negative view of their religion feels like an offense.

And that's just... not healthy. Nor is it right.

I'm not saying that anyone's trauma is illegitimate or that someone's a "bad person" for dealing with their trauma in an unhealthy way. That's also wrong. I'm just saying that we should try to accept the idea that people will, can, and should find love and growth and acceptance and self in identities and lifestyles that have harmed us. We're not all the same.

And that's a good thing. It might be true that you're very much not a man and none of the people you're attracted to are men, so calling you anything but a lesbian is harmful and wrong. But it might also be true that someone else IS a man and it turns out they're actually straight because they've never been attracted to women as another woman.

Subjective truth: what's true for you might not be true for someone else. And vice versa.

Freedom for you might be oppression to someone else. But, by the same logic, the things that deny your identity might be what confirms someone else's.

[secretariatess]

"Feminism failed me because now I have to work a nine to five job and I'd rather be a stay at home wife."

Or maybe we've fostered toxic work cultures that have created a "grass is greener on the other side" situation, or maybe we push our children so fast and hard into a career path without slowing it down to ensure our kids know of all their options instead of diving headfirst into a path they might not care about and thus leading to resentment of their work, or maybe we're getting lazier and lazier generations who feel like they shouldn't have to put in a standard amount of work and being a stay at home wife sounds like a dodge of responsibility, an easier route . . . .

. . . and on top of that, maybe we've romanticized the 1950s and the "traditional household" that we've decided to ignore that the culture was forced in order to get women back into domestic labor after running America while the men were at war so that men could get their jobs back, and have forgotten the commonality of domestic abuse and how ads would brazenly joke about it while victims felt like they had to keep quiet in order to maintain the image of a happy family as well as the alarming rate at which women were taking "mommy's little helpers" to help them with their lifestyles, and we've disconnected the fact that the 50s was followed by the wildness of the 60s and 70s as well as feminist movement wave which maybe indicates that the 50s was not the happy little decade in which men and women were in their "correct gender roles" and trying to replicate that era could possibly be a big mistake . . . .

Maybe the issue we have with feminism gaining women the right to work wasn't that it got us the right to work, but rather that it played into the idea that men and their traits are the standard of being human, and in order for a woman to be successful she has to display those traits instead of taking traits of women and standing on those as women's strengths and arguing for how work can be better when women and men use their feminine and masculine traits together because we're both human, and masculine traits are not better than feminine ones, and vice versa.

Maybe the problem faced by those who actually want to work stay at home lives are not hindered by feminism, but rather a failing economy caused by a government for a multitude of reasons, and not because the government created feminism to get women working to tax them too.

Maybe the problem here isn't people going against gender roles, but rather a multitude of many other factors, and it's a lot simpler to fight and blame the other gender.

I have many criticisms of feminism, particularly modern feminism. But feminism in general won women many victories over the decades, and there are a lot of things we women can do now that our female ancestors would have died to have. History might not be as sexist as we remember it, but sometimes I think we forget how unkind it was to women. Wishing feminism didn't come about or make the advances it did might be a little ignorant of the problems it saw women face and sought to correct.

Maybe it's not our "biology" to follow traditional gender roles, and we must return to that.

Maybe there's something we keep hopping over that recognizes men and women as individual humans first, with different skills, strengths, ambitions, and goals.

#I used to like listening to conservative speakers #but every time they brought up conversation about gender #it seem to revolve around men being the leading providers and women the following homemaker #and they keep pulling examples of women being unhappy with their work #and stay at home moms echoing their sentiment #I don't have an issue with stay at home moms #I have an issue when it's pushed as what women were really made for #and things like men were made to lead #no #women were made with varying strengths and talents (including strength in leadership) just as men were #which lends them to be able to pursue different things and not just homemaking #I don't think we really have anyone who has a balanced take on genders anymore because we have to have one extreme or the other #matriarchy or patriarchy #and the fighting of the two for a hierarchy creates a confused jumble of a mess #incorrectly called egalitarian #As someone who considers herself conservative in more ways than one #I'm done with the conservative take on gender roles #there's no balance #there's no consideration for other factors

[schizononsince]

Why are we all playing the oppression Olympics that' TERFs designed for us?

Yeah ok I'm a transman and I can face transphobia as well as transandrophobia but I personally haven't experienced a lot of it from everyday people IRL. I mostly experience it from ignorant pipsqueaks online and the goverment who seems to hate all trans people equally ( with AFABs losing our rights to deny pregnancies and AMABs being denied rights to ' cross dress ' and us all facing loss of civil rights to our bodies and lives. )

Just because I, a passing transman who looks like a guy you shouldn't fuck with , don't really face much hate from anyone in my day to day life except my mom's best friend whose being brainwashed by her Jahova witness minister ( the rest of the church, mostly men, said they see me as I am, not as I was ' born ' so this is an isolated case here ) doesn't mean other Transmen are as lucky.

Just because a laid back trans woman who lives in a very progressive area doesn't face much hatred outside of the occasional slur, doesn't mean other trans women don't face much worse issues.

And vice versa.

Whose more oppressed doesn't even matter at the end of the day even if you could answer to it. Because transphobic people have the same goal. To push us all into suicide with their genocide ideologies.

Why are we arguing about who is more oppressed when oppression is not black and white? You wanna know what IS black and white? Our common enemy. TERFs, extreme Christian conservatives, and ignorance.

So why are we falling for the easiest bait of the century that's directly distributed by cis TERFs and the detransitioners they gaslight?

Don't get me started on how horrific my fellow trans folk treat detransitioners. By fuck lord do you guys have some ignorant hate to cleanse from your hearts.

This is why I'm ashamed to stand with this community some days. I get the hurt and anger and fear but you transfems attacking Transmen and you transmascs attacking transwomen isn't going to solve the non issue that is the oppression Olympics.

Y'all seem to not realize that we have a common goal:

To have the right to express who we truly are.

And it saddens me to see that this is where we're at right now. While you harass a transmasc for being a man, and while you harass a trans woman for not understanding what it's like to be a transmasc; the goverment is still taking all our rights. And until y'all kiss and make up and learn that the level of oppression isn't going to fall on either side; we are going to continue to lose our rights.

Stop arguing. You're making it very easy for the enemy to pull it's strings.

#transandrophobia #transgender #trans rights #trans pride #transmysogyny #civil rights #detransitioners #detrans safe space #trans safe space

[lesbianamalvada]

What resources is an actress stealing from the community?

Also I found this quote looking it up.

She then asked if being a lesbian means “you are ONLY” attracted to cis women and if being attracted to trans men, trans women, and nonbinary people makes you pansexual.

And it seems to stem from confusion, not any kind of maliciousness. I can see how someone who spent time in the feminism or lesbian tags would walk away confused with this same opinion because of how TERFs are trying to redefine women and lesbians.

Additionally, she uses both labels, not saying pan lesbian as one label like you made it seem.

They seem to be someone who, with a quick Google, is just confused, learning, and exploring. And you're being really hostile about it for no reason.

That said, if she thinks she's a lesbian is it stealing? If she ends up being lesbian after a few more years, is it stealing just because she didn't know that now?

I think people like you are why it takes so long for people to find identities. You make it unsafe to explore when that's half the reason the queer community exists. Because more than just straight, cishet ppl exist and we should be normalizing that.

So again, do you have a link for these stolen resources, cuz I can't find anything online.

i never said they stole resources. you are making a strawman. there isn't that many resources just for lesbians to begin with. they do steal our communities, spaces, and conversations. they scold us for not being "inclusive" enough. I'm all for people experimenting and if you identify as bi and then are gay or vice versa it is whatever. but when you try to change the definition of lesbianism, and say that men can be lesbians and we can be attracted to men, and then furthermore shame us for not being attracted to them or for our identities not being inclusive enough, i cannot support you. it is the same homophobia we experience from cishet ppl with a rainbow polish. you have made our own community a hostile environment for us. and we cannot vent about how alienating and degrading it is without people like you scolding us, saying our boundaries make others "unsafe" or how we are using bigoted dog whistles and we are the reason conservatives are winning etc etc.

we can all acknowledge that being bisexual, asexual, trans, a drag queen, etc comes with unique experiences and that they shouldn't be erased or overlooked. yet when it comes to lesbians we are not allowed to say the same? if someone is only attracted to one gender they are not bisexual so they shouldn't talk over bisexuals, police them, invade their spaces, or try to change the definition of bisexual. I just believe the same is true for lesbians.

Also someone using a contradictory label like "pansexual lesbian" and being questioned on it is not them being unsafe. they are not in any harm. what is unsafe is teaching young kids who are homosexual that they could emotionally like the other gender just not physically, hearts not parts, everyone is a little bi, the genitals don't matter that much and caring about them is weird, your sexuality should be inclusive etc. All of which I have seen happen in online queer spaces that champion the notion of mspec gays and lesbians.

It also doesn't surprise me that the only sexuality that excludes men is the one a large section of the queer community will use their dying breath to center men in. "lesbians can be men, lesbians can have sex with men, lesbians and men are best friends" it is always non-lesbians saying this. And then we push back and get comments like this. Lesbians with boundaries are the reason so many people have hard time finding their identities. Gtfo of here. Other people's feelings and journeys or whatever are not more important than our lived reality. We are the only group that is surveilled like this.

#anon ask #anon asks

[shinydixon]

It annoys me how some h*llcheers, when accused of homophobia, say they can't be homophobic because they're gay/bi. You very much can be, internalized as well as lateral aggression. Gay people can be biphobic, same gender attracted women can be homophobic towards sga men, and vice versa.

It sucks to be a guy and engaging in an m/m ship because m/m shippers are accused of all being straight women who fetishise gay men (which is something h*llcheers have said about steddies). Yes, some are and it sucks, but a lot, if not most, are queer men and women. Also, in my experience most guys I've come across in m/m shipping spaces have been gay/bi transmascs (like me) and since "fetishistic straight women" we're often called by transphobic gays, I can't trust people who say that.

Not to mention how much it hurts when people say "why don't you just ship canon m/m couples instead?" Because there isn't a lot of shows, that aren't "gay shows" (pose, heartstopper, young royals), that have main characters who are queer men, and that's not their entire personality, much less for trans men or bi/pan men.

I'm glad will is canonically gay, but with the way it's presented in the show I'm sure that some straight viewers don't get it yet, and why can't we have more than him and robin? And let's be real, will is a much "safer" character to "make" queer than steve or eddie; character's that I'm sure more straight men are projecting themselves on than there are who project themselves on will. Imagine if a character that was "meant for" straight people, came out as gay or bi? It's not gonna happen, especially if that character is a man, because straight men's sexuality and masculinity are so intertwined and so, so fragile. So please, let us have fun. Let us make up headcanons for these characters that we love, because that's all we're ever gonna have.

Even though both parties in h*llcheer are dead and the possibility of them being canon is non existant, it's still less non existant than the possibility of steddie becoming canon, and would be met with zero hostility from the general audience, compared to steddie. We know why this is, and we also know why they can so easily demonize and make out all steddie shippers as villains, while burying any evidence of foul play on their own side.

This was long, sorry, but I needed to rant and I don't feel like being attracting #them to my blog.

Don't ever say sorry, I'm here for everybody who have the need to vent or rant🥹

Sorry but it's so stupid saying "I'm bi so I can't be homophobic" for the reasons you already listed.

Anyway you shouldn't listen to those kind of hellcheers, some of them don't even respect Grace, we can't expect to be treated with kindness when they see steddie as something that gets in between their ship.

Block them, filter their tag and even if you're tempted, don't go looking for their post to check what they're saying about steddies because it can be hurtful and can ruin your fun.

Instead, look for what makes you happy! HC, art, fanfiction, incorrect quotes (these are my favorite btw) etc.

I realize that in my blog we talk a lot about these toxic people and this is the reason why I proceed to reblog a lot of steddie/steve/eddie/joe/jamie/Joe K./other media content; like this I can also share something that we enjoy with people that check my blog to see what I answer, and might be upset by some of the asks.

[daemonhxckergrrl]

hi, so i do have a question regarding trans people- i want to start off by saying that i completely support trans people and people should have the right to do whatever they want to as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, and i would never side with those who try to take away someone's autonomy. that being said, why do people want to be the specific genders(men, women)- what exactly does one feel? is it identifying with gender stereotypes? wanting the other kind of body? i can understand why someone would want to be enby, but can't seem to understand specific reasons why people would want to be transmasc or transfem etc. i've read posts before where people have wanted to be women/men because of gender stereotypes- they wanted to play with dolls/liked feminine/masculine colors/clothes etc. but it's obviously something that shouldn't be stereotyped against and anyone should be allowed to play/like anything they want to, whether it's feminine or masculine. so what exactly is it that makes people want to be either? again, though even if i didn't understand why someone else felt that way, i fully support them.

okay i've taken some time before answering this. hopefully it's helpful.

first thing: ask a different trans/nonbinary person and you'll get a different answer than mine (gender be like that).

second thing: tldr short version here !!! gender identity (internal sense of self) and gender expression (external performance of gender) are often related but are different things. you're asking about gender identity, but the ideas you've worked through are more about expression (body, colours, clothes, toys etc.)

so, assuming you're cis, ask yourself "why do i want to be the gender i am?" and then think about if it would be different for a binary trans person of your gender.

third thing: longer/more detailed answer under the cut

by "specific genders" it seems you mean "binary genders" (some nonbinary identities are vague while others are specific; "droid" is a pretty specific gender, as is "stargender" etc.)

what one feels (and how one might describe it) depends on the person. for some it's a connection to gendered language, or methods of expression like clothes and interests (hey some people personally fit stereotypical gender roles and that's okay), or a sense of community (being grouped w/ other people of that label even if you can't explain why it feels 'right')

body types is a whole other thing, given there's already a lot of variation within "typical male" and "typical female" bodies (in the cisgendered, perisex sense) and then you introduce intersex bodies and then you introduce the variety in how trans people choose what bodies they want (everything from no operations no hormones right up to hormones and surgeries and other operations to get as close to a "typical" cis perisex body of that gender as possible and everything in between)

do you see being nonbinary as a single thing ? or as an umbrella for a multitude of things ? or something else ?

also a lot of nonbinary people identify w/ transmasc/transfem terms bc their transition experience is sometimes shared w/ binary trans people, or bc they consider themselves trans (not all nonbinary people do) and also masc-/fem-leaning in identity, or for other reasons (there's also nonbinary people who consider their identity fairly close to their agab and describe themselves as both trans and masc/fem in that context)

part of wanting to do [stereotypical] thing is that you were denied it in childhood and it's reclaiming that. the way gender plays into it is that you were denied it because of gender stereotypes. ofc some people like feminine things but are still men and vice versa, but also yeah getting euphoria from enjoying a "stereotypically" masc/fem thing you were previously denied is very much a thing for some people

another way to look at why people are binary trans is this: look at why people are binary cis. i'm gonna assume you're cis here, so ask yourself "why do i want to be the gender i am ?" and that's gonna be similar to why a trans person might want to be that gender or why a different trans person might not want to be that gender

#Anonymous #DATA_REQUESTS #trans stuff #gender

[tojikai]

Migraine anon here,

I feel like utter shit, the dr basically ignored most of my concerns. He did give me pills, but I was like I feel like im experiencing cluster headaches. And he basically just said, more likely not possible since you are a woman.

I get it, it happend to men more. But I feel dr's shouldn't ignore certain stuff just because its more likely to happen with another gender. Like??? Idk and he made me feel like I came there just cause im overreacting over my headaches...

hello, how are you feeling today? im sorry that you had to experience this, nonnie. that's just awful service from someone who studied so long in that field. just because something happens to men more, doesn't mean that it can never happen to women and vice versa. it's almost like they're invalidating what you're really feeling about your body. this just makes me sad bc they're supposed to be the people offering help, not making people feel like they're overreacting about their pain.

#🍭—kaitalks

[happysadyoyo]

not getting involved in this shit directly but a. "x queer subgroup and y queer subgroup are kissing with tongue"something of a stock phrase. it's been used for multiple queer discourses. it was not invented to silence trans women. b. the idea that it is specifically transmisogynistic requires the assumption that trans men are in a position of power over trans women. That is what the comparison to cis men and women is getting at. Cis men benefit from telling women to shut up more than the inverse, because there is a power imbalance that will be preserved if everyone keeps quiet. Whether this is true of trans men and women is, to put it mildly, highly debatable.

I am going to preface this with I'm in too much of a brain fog to like. Give the issue the full attention it deserves, hence why my og comment was "this feels incomplete but wtf is a baeddel doing on my dashboard anyway"

(the fact people have taken that to mean I'm transmisogynist/a fascist is amusing)

But yeah, that's a stock phrase, and I can see how it bothers some people. Bothers me sometimes but eh live and let live? It usually doesn't seem like something worth getting worked up over but I also have the unique experience as someone who is seen as both genders and has never been sexually harassed. We could get into that whole thing but not worth it.

Trans men, as a whole, don't hold power over trans women, and vice versa. The trans umbrella in general have a complex shifting of privileges and powers that are highly conditional on what we're seen as and for how long. We are all quite vulnerable, and I think saying that shouldn't be controversial.

It's just weird to me that the og post decided to make it out as a transmisogynist post as though trans men weren't being objectified as well.