#I kinda went off on the last one but it makes me very emotional and I love me a parent who goes feral to protect their child | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

caesium-55 · 2 months

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—seven days. [ iii ]

pairing: max verstappen x manager! reader.

summary: as the third time world champion, max verstappen's manager, you function on the belief that whatever max verstappen wanted, max verstappen shall get. but this time, after four years of working as his manager, you can't give him what he wants anymore and that was to stay.

author's note: hi hello welcome to part three. i flunked the quiz. lemme know what you think. NOT BETA READ. NOT EDITED. this chapter kinda sux. can't believe i went through a breakup just last week and i still cant write decent post-breakup scenes.

tags: @whatamidoingwithmylife-ramdom @eugene-emt-roe @bellezaycafe @barnestatic @theseerbetweenus @wcnorris @notyouraveragemochii @lpab hope i didn't forget anyone.

masterlist.

you: *sent a link*

him: ?

him: what's this

you: benefits of crying

you: read it it's enlightening

him: some people do not cry over a breakup you know and that is totally okay

you: why crying helps.

you: 1. tears release toxins, stress hormones to be specific. it is good to let all the bad energy out.

you: 2. it aids sleep. no need for further explanation.

you: 3. crying releases oxytocin and endorphins. i know you don't know what an oxytocin or an endorphin is but they're happy chemicals.

you: 4. crying helps you receive the support you need from the people around you. EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY is okay, max. stop treating it like an STD.

him: it feels like an std

you: pussy

you: emotional vulnerability is a thing and it's normal so stop trying to be a big strong man when you're barely holding it together.

you: you may look fine now but i know you

him: please stop

you: no

you: 5. crying has a self soothing effect. very nice actually. it activates the rest and digest system.

him: what even is that

you: the parasympathetic nervous system

him: ??

you: this is why you shouldn't have dropped out of high school

you: education is important yknow

you: youre already lacking in three forms of intelligence, academic, emotional n social intelligence

him: fuck you im smart

you: fuck you 2 and yeah you're smart but only in geography

you: you probably can't do your taxes

him: im dutch so the company's account department do it for me by default

him: the american system is just weird

you: cant argue w/ u there

you: also, 6. crying helps restore emotional balance

you: see? you need that

you: yknow now that i think abt it you should consider seeking therapy

him: what makes you think i’m not in therapy right now

you: well have you considered getting MORE therapy?

You stand in front of the body mirror, holding the Red Bull polo shirt against your body to see how it looks on you for one last time. On your right sleeve, the word MANAGER is written in bold, white text. Because that was what you were. Just a manager.

In another universe this is not the shirt that you’d be wearing. The MANAGER would have been ENGINEER. In another another universe where your family has been well-off enough to continuously send you to karting school and you would have been the one driving the fucking car by now.

You know, if Max has even tried talking to Horner and suggested that you should be moved into the engineering team, then you wouldn't be stuck wearing this god-awful polo that burned your skin every time you wore it for work. Everybody reduced you as Max’s American manager and because you are American, most of them kind of just assumed that you're dumb, you know?

Does the world even know how smart you are? That you graduated top of your class, got the best thesis award, and that you had finished your masters just this year? Did they even know that a Japanese car company wanted you on their research team? That a NASCAR team wanted you on board as one of their engineers? Does Max even know?

Fuck no. He only knows that you're the best at ironing clothes and organizing his Google calendar and memorizing his entire coffee order by heart. He knew you're good at extinguishing kitchen fires and kicking ass in YSL Opyum heels. You doubt he knows that you can do Calculus in your sleep.

You can take it if the world puts you down for your appearance. But if the world puts you down because of your intellect? That's a different story. You'll take any insult to the face but not to your intelligence.

You have four days left in Monaco so you have begun packing already. You're right, everything did fit into three suitcases. Also, you haven't told Max yet. For some reason, you’re too anxious. Which is shocking to say the least because you never ever gets anxious when it came to Max Verstappen. You wouldn't have lasted this long working alongside Max if you were a pussy.

Max Max Max Super Max Max—

“[Name] here. Need anythin’, champ?”

Hearing a sob on the other end of the line immediately activates your fight or flight response. Your eyes widen and you toss the Red Bull shirt aside. Your legs leads you to the nearly empty shoe rack stationed beside the front door, grabbing the pair of shoes at the very top of the tiny shelf and throwing them on.

“I’m comin’ there. Hang on, Max. You wait for me, okay?”

He doesn't answer, just continuing to sob and the sound absolutely breaks your heart.

You run to his penthouse at a speed that will even put the RB19 to shame. Not even bothering to knock, you barge in and yell his name in the empty halls of his penthouse. You search in the kitchen. He's not there. The living room. Not there either. The room where his simulations are. Not there. You run to his bedroom upstairs.

The door is locked. Dammit. Panic overflooded your system.

“Max, sweetheart, you there?”

No answer, but you can hear a faint sound behind the door if you press your ear against the wood. Firefighter training covered how to open a fucking door when it was locked so this once again becomes a situation where you're grateful that you did that tiring and borderline suicidal volunteer work.

Max keeps a fire extinguisher inside his penthouse as per your advice. There is one stationed in almost every room inside his house. You knew there is one inside his room and another one just at the end of the hallway. You make a quick run for it and once you have the extinguisher in your hands, you run back to his door.

“Step away from the door!” you instructed while your mind mentally calculates your payment plan as you hit the door knob with so much force, the walls tremble at your strength. You're functioning on pure adrenaline. Your instincts only yell one thing and that is: go to Max. No one and nothing in this world will keep you from him. It isn't long until his bedroom door broke down. With one last final kick, it crumbles down from its hinges and you forcefully pry it open and sprint inside.

Max tucks himself in the tiny space in the corner of his huge bedroom, his knees shoved up to his chest. A 181-cm tall man trying to make himself as small as possible.

This is it. This is the bottled-up emotions he's been storing since Abu Dhabi. You cannot say you have not anticipated this. Max is bound to explode sooner or later.

Panic attacks have made a home in Max’s body since he was a child. That's what one gets when they’re parented by someone like Jos Verstappen. He killed Max’s soul and made the boy a machine and for what? To shape a child into a man, a racer that he wanted to be but failed to become at the cost of Max's mental health and childhood.

When Max looks up with that heartbreaking look on his face, you almost crumble. Almost, because you cannot crumble. Not when Max needs you.

Sometimes, you forget what it took for Max to become the champion that he is today. A childhood sacrificed for his dominance on the tracks. A whole lot of hatred from the people to become a WDC. And now, a love lost for his third consecutive championship.

“You came,” his voice cracks towards the end.

Your eyes soften, “You called, Max. Course I’ll come.”

You barely brace yourself for the impact that is Max’s body wrapping around yours in a tight hug. The man have literally launch himself from the floor to you at sixth gear speed. You stumble backwards slightly, holding his bed for support so the both of you won't fall down.

“Max—”

“No,” he whispers and his grip on your tightens as if he's afraid that you’ll slip away if he even tried to give your lungs space to breathe. “Don't speak. Stay.”

What Max wanted, what Max would get. So you shut your mouth, shuffle slightly so he'll be in a more comfortable position and allow him take whatever he wants from you. This will be the last chance he’ll ever do it anyway because in four days time, you’re flying to Texas.

You stay for what is probably hours in that position. Crumbled together on the floor, leaning against the side of Max’s king-sized bed. Your shirt is completely damp from his tears but you cannot even bring yourself to care about it.

“Your shoes…” It's the first time Max has spoken since the start of his meltdown.

“Hm?” you turn your head and your nose nuzzles against his hair, making you scrunch it up a little. His hair is tickling your nostrils. If you lean a little forward, your lips will meet the skin of his temple.

“They’re mismatched.”

Brows furrowed, your eyes move to your feet and see that Max is right. Your shoes are indeed mismatched. On your left is one of your Adidas slides and the other is your slip-on Skechers. You ran from one building to another in mismatched shoes. Fucking embarassing.

“Ignore them.”

Silence.

“You good now?”

“No.”

“Okay,” you say. “If you want to talk, I’ll listen.”

You hear Max let out a shaky breath, “Just stay for a while. Don't leave me alone.”

“Okay.”

Eventually, you manage to talk Max out of the hug. You're beginning to feel claustrophobic but you do not want to say it out right so you try to negotiate instead. That's how you and Max found yourselves inside his kitchen again. You're trying to replicate your Abuela's cheesecake, which she was known for back in Austin, and Max is…well, he's Max and he’s trying to be helpful in any way he can. If it's some other day, you'd have shoved him out of the way because you prefer working alone in the kitchen. Having eyes on you gives you anxiety. But given today’s circumstances, you do not have the heart to make Max leave so you task him with doing the little stuff like mixing things and throwing shit to the trash can nearby. And he does so splendidly.

“Thank you, by the way.”

“For what, baby?” You internally wince at your own slip of the tongue. Damn that habit of yours of calling people with affectionate call signs. Thankfully, Max seems to have not noticed it.

“For coming here.”

You shrug.

“I only did what you did for me in 2021.”

Again, your breakup with Leo was bad bad. You spent a month crying for a love lost and Max was there for you. For the most part, at least. You want him to focus on winning and winning alone that you pushed him away a lot of times but you appreciated how he was more obedient to your commands, that he held his tongue so he wouldn't piss you off even though he was not liking your words, and that he was considerate of you.

“I hope you won't go into fights though,” you chuckle. “Like I did after my breakup.”

He smiles, shaking his head lightly and you know he's recalling the memory. 2021 is a hilarious year for you, the Red Bull manager. You went viral after getting into a cat fight with a girl and a whole fist fight with her boyfriend.

You and Leo called it quits a week before Monaco and even though it had been four races since then, your heart was still in a quite fragile state at that specific race weekend. One minor inconvenience was enough to ignite a wild blaze of fire within you and nobody could extinguish the flames.

After Silverstone FP1, you were leading Max to the cool down room to brief him with Horner’s relayed instructions and someone had thrown a glass bottle towards the both of you while walking. Originally, Max was the main target of the bottle but you happened to have moved towards the line of trajectory and the bottle landed on your temple, hard enough that you stumbled upon impact.

You barely heard Max’s shocked gasp and shout of panic over the sound of glass shattering on your foot because the only thing you could register was the terrifying feeling of a thick liquid trickling down the side of your face and you didn't even need to see it to know it was blood.

The only thing you saw was red and it was on fucking sight.

Fucking Hamilton fan. Fucking Hamilton. He’s in Max’s way. He’s in your way. He’s the wall that was dividing you from your dream position in the engineering team.

You shoved the iPad you were holding to Max’s hands and marched down to the woman wearing the Merc #44 merch, swiftly jumping over the barricade and grabbing her by the collar of her pristine white Versace top.

The events that followed were too fast. You grabbed her collar. She pulled your hair. You also pulled her hair. Someone pulled her away from you. You tried to grab her, clawing her bare arms with your manicured nails. She screamed. You screamed back. You pulled out some curse words in Spanish as well because cursing her in one language alone is not enough. Her boyfriend appeared. A quick punch to your cheek. You fell to the ground.

The world stood still. There was a sting on your palm because your skin got torn from the hard surface of the concrete ground. You let a bloodcurdling war cry and your Dad would definitely be disappointed at you for using the boxing techniques he taught you for self defense purposes only to fight a guy two times your size.

Everything was a bigger blur from there. But you did remember the sensation of Max’s strong arms around you, stopping you from lunging forward again. He was saying sweet words to your ear to calm you down but your brain failed to intercept them so you could hear the words, could hear his voice, but not understand any of it. You remember Christian Horner's disappointed face that haunted you even two years later. You remembered feeling so terrified as you sat outside Christian Horner’s office waiting for the final verdict while he and Max and a few of the Red Bull higher-ups argued about your future with the team. You remembered hearing Max’s loud snarl on the other side of the mahogany door: “Did you see her face?! There was blood everywhere! On her nose, on her mouth, on the fucking side of her head!” You remembered the girl taking the case to court. You remembered fearing that you’d be sent to jail. You remembered that she lost the case because it was ruled as self defense and your injuries were grave. You remembered discovering that it was Max who used all his power and got the best lawyer to fight your case. You remembered the atmosphere in the Red Bull garage shifting when you entered it a few weeks later and everyone stared the bandages and bruises. Everyone thought one thing: of course, it would also take a monster to manage a monster like Max Verstappen. You remembered Lewis Hamilton, seven-time world champion, apologizing personally for the fight caused by his own fan. He didn't need to but he was so sincere with it that you cried when he handed you the apology flowers. God, how could you even hate this man? Your anger towards him was misplaced.

You’d been living with the guilt ever since, that you were horrifyingly violent for a day, that you were capable of killing for a day. And it could happen again. One day. God, you hoped you wouldn't have to see that day. You knew all your coworkers have been careful with angering you ever since. They're terrified of you even. Max should be, too. But then again, why would he when he already saw the horrors done by his father’s hands ever since he was a child? He was used to it.

“I won't,” he says, smiling at you. “I wouldn't want to add anymore problems for you to clean up.”

But you will not be the one cleaning it up because you resigned. You didn’t tell that to him though. Not right now. He just had a meltdown over Kelly leaving him and the news of his manager leaving him too will destroy him.

The cheesecake is a little burnt when you take it out of the oven but it actually adds more flavor to it so yeah, that's a win.

“We should drink,” you suggest.

“It’s mid-afternoon.”

“We drank at mid-afternoon yesterday,” you give him a blank stare. “With Alex and Charles, remember?”

He doesn't say anything as you make your way to his fridge and pull out two bottles of beer. Max has champagne stored somewhere but you have enough of those expensive champagnes. You need beer. Beer is good. Beer is nice. You're a beer type of person and it is time Max becomes one, too.

“I’m no scientist,” you begin, biting off the beer’s bottle cap. “But according to chemistry, alcohol is solution.”

Well, technically, edible alcohol or ethanol is not a mixture. Rather, it's a pure substance that happens to be a liquid at room temperature and typical atmospheric pressure. Pure ethanol is not a solution. Hard spirits though? That's a solution.

Beer is not a hard spirit. It's more of a fermented drink. But Max doesn't know that, though, so you don't bother explaining the science behind it.

Somewhere down the road, the two of you move to his living room. You use the Youtube app in his TV to search karaoke video and have the bestest time of your lives. You're screaming along some Daddy Yankee and El Alfa songs and Max doesn't know how to speak Spanish so he’s just vibing to it.

At 5 PM, you pull out Max’s expensive vodka bottle. Now this is the real shit. The ten bottles of beer? Those are just pregame. Max is already drunk with just those because he’s a pussy but you’re no pussy, so the only right answer is vodka! Viva la vodka or whatever.

Your throat gets tired of singing and Max gets tired from dancing, too, so you both decide to just go entertain yourselves in other ways. First, you introduced Max to beer-pong. He loses, of course. He sucks at everything not racing. Then, the two of you move onto chess. Max gives up mid-game. He cannot understand the rules. Then, lastly, you move to the billiard table Max owned. He only used it when the other guys are over and you do not even know why he bought it when he sucked at playing billiards.

“You know what Kelly said the morning before the race?” Max suddenly says and you look up at him, brow raising slightly. He’s drunk; his skin is flushed and he is all giggly and smile-y as he sits on the billiard table’s side rail and using the billiard stick as some sort of support stand to keep him from falling. You hope he won't accidentally poke himself. You're no better, too. Ten beer bottles and a few glasses of vodka. But you’re not as drunk as Max, and you still have a straight vision and you can still sink the colored balls into the pockets of the billiard table.

“Hm?”

“That it was unfair for her.”

You raise a questioning brow, “Why?”

“I bought shoes and they don't fit her.”

You blink. He laughs at himself as if he has uttered the funniest joke in the world.

“Three years of relationship gone because of a single pair of shoes,” he continues. “She wanted those shoes, too.”

Kelly….what the fuck?

“But that's okay. She….She made me open my eyes, you know? She made me realize what I truly love.”

“Racing.” It's not even a question. It's the truth.

Max stares at you, long and hard, and you look away first because you fear that if you allow yourself to stare too long, you’ll drown in those beautiful blues. This is enough heartache for the day. No need to add more.

“Hey [Name],” he begins. “If I asked you to kiss me, would you do it?”

#manager!reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen #f1 x reader #f1 imagines #formula one #fanfic #angst #mv1 #mv33 x reader #mv33

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skzdarlings · 3 months

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sharing a bed ; seungmin ; sequel

masterlist.

original one-shot.

pairing: kim seungmin/reader content info: sexual content. enemies2lovers. sequel to sharing a bed one-shot linked above. morning afters. running from feelings. making reader jealous. confrontation with a creep and light violence. sexual content includes blow-jobs, hand jobs, strap-on blowjobs, 69ing, rimming, pegging, light choking. some brat seungmin and sort of brat tamer reader (kinda just likes the brat lol). word count: 7k.

Kim Seungmin, the perpetual thorn in your side and ache in your head, is torturing you.

Not the fun kind of torture, either. You had your fill of that two nights ago when a silly scheme resulted in a horny happenstance and you let yourself get carried away. Your careful control not only slipped, but fell right into the hands of someone you once disliked.

It left you befuddled in the light of the day, when you woke to Seungmin curled around you, his cheek pressing into your bicep and his leg hooked around yours. Not to mention his morning wood digging into your hip. It surfaced memories of the pretty and unexpected piercing you found there, how your idea of this guy was so so wrong. And it made you wonder what else you were wrong about, and all the ways this burgeoning something could go wrong in turn. Your thoughts spiralled.

You were no longer handcuffed, so you slipped out of bed and walked right out the front door. You hoped a walk through the brisk winter morning would help clear your mind. It did, but only momentarily. When you got back to the vacation house and ran into Seungmin, you fumbled. Badly. You meant to be pragmatic but came across dismissive. Something about how last night was the only night. Something about how you were bad at commitments. Something about being better off friends.

Seungmin was silent the whole time, letting you ramble like an idiot. Then his eyes narrowed and he laughed. It was an airy, unpleasant, and derisive sound.

“Trust me,” he said. “We will never be friends.”

“Well, fine,” you said, bristling despite the fact you were the one rejecting him. What did you care if he hated you again? You didn’t. You shouldn’t. “Good.”

It was not good. Saying it left a sour taste in your mouth and a pit in your stomach.

And despite it all, your stupid horny hindbrain did not relent, purring like a kitten when Seungmin gave you a judgemental once-over and scoffed. You could not help but remember the very different noises he made last night, again and again, in your hands and mouth, from your actions and words.

You will never look at him the same way again. You have no idea how to move forward, but you know you can never go back. Pretending nothing happened will not work for once.

It freaks you out. You are usually good at shucking attachments. His cold acceptance should not have hurt. What did you care? This vacation would end and you would go back to your own lives, right? So you let Seungmin shove past you. He ignored you for the rest of the day. When he started an argument later, causing everyone else to groan, you replied like always, but it was half-hearted at best.

Oh god, you think now, rubbing the bridge of your nose, I can’t start thinking with my damn heart.

Emotional attachments and long-term romantic liaisons never turn out well. You cut a dashing figure but your many flaws eventually find their way to the surface. It is not worth the inevitable heartbreak when someone sees under the charming mask to the real you.

Rather than suffer later, you are suffering now, brooding over a beer while doing your damnest to not look across the bar. You know you will not like what you see.

You and your friends only have a couple more nights at the vacation lodge, so you all went down to the nearby resort to drink and dance and enjoy a fun night out.

You are not having any fun, of course. You are sitting on a bar stool, all alone at the counter, in your signature leather jacket as you hunch over your drink and glare at nothing in particular.

Seungmin, on the other hand, is suddenly a dazzling socializer rather than an obnoxious stuck-up jerk like he used to be. You expected him to sit in a corner, making snarky remarks all night, but instead he has been moving from person to person, flirting with anything that breathes.

He is also wearing an obscene pair of jeans. No one else in the friend group seemed to notice, not a single eye so much as twitching in his direction, but you noticed. Oh, yeah, you fucking noticed. The second he came bounding the stairs, swinging on a stupid baggy letterman jacket like the twerpy little prep he is. His dark hair neatly combed, bangs swept off his forehead, brightening his gaze.

The jeans. The stupid fucking jeans. Straight-cut denim that has absolutely no business cupping his ass the way it does. And why does he have such a nice ass anyway? It also has no business looking that way.

Kim Seungmin. What a nightmare.

You take a swig of beer and glare at the wall. You tell yourself not to look at him. He is probably leaning over some equally prissy knob and offering to buy them a glass of milk or whatever people like them drink.

So, no. You will not give him the satisfaction. It is no coincidence that in all the time you have known him, Seungmin has never been flirtatious or promiscuous, but the second you turn him down he is slobbering all over anything that moves.

You will not let him get to you. You will not look at him. You will not react.

Except he is already getting to you. So you look over. You react.

“For fuck’s sake,” you grumble, abandoning your beer and stomping down from your stool.

Seungmin is huddled in a booth with some colossal bitch of a man. You recognize him from the other night, remembering how much time he spent harassing the bar staff. Seungmin doesn’t know that. He might be your enemy – or whatever – but you are not gonna leave the guy with that kind of jerk. And you are not secretly thrilled that you are justified in storming over there, drawing up to the table with all the aggression that has been building inside you.

You slap a hand on the table, bringing their attention to you. Seungmin gives you a once-over, then smiles that stupid smile of his, all boxy and puppyish, like you are the funniest punchline to the funniest joke in the world. There was a time you used to fantasize about swiping that smile off his mouth. You are still thinking about occupying his mouth, just not like that.

“Move along,” you say to the creep.

“Excuse me?”

He is already drunk. You can smell it as much as see it. Seungmin is looking very smug and you start to feel like he picked this guy on purpose.

Seungmin drives you crazy, he really does. One second he is all good boy, the next he is purposefully throwing himself at a creep just to get a rise out of you. You feel like he would take a running leap off the mountainside if he was inclined to a prove a point to someone. He is fearless and ridiculous and you want to hate him. You want him to be the boring two-dimensional snob you thought he was. You have no idea what to do with the complicated man in front of you.

That’s a lie, you think, meeting his gaze. You know exactly what to do with him.

You swear his eyes are twinkling. He slouches back comfortably, arms crossed.

“I told you once,” you say, tearing your gaze from him to look at the creep. “Now move along.”

“Try me.”

The guy was only bothering women and seems uninterested in Seungmin so you suspect he just wants to piss you off, but then he puts a hand on him anyway, grabbing Seungmin by the arm so suddenly that it surprises him.

Before Seungmin can shake him off, you snatch the guy by his wrist and twist. He yelps, struggling to wrestle his arm back from your iron grip. You slam him against the back of the booth.

“Touch him again,” you say, “and I will break your hand. You wanna try me?”

He opens his mouth, no doubt to spew some smelly rejoinder, but you don’t stick around for it. You grab Seungmin by the elbow and yank him out of the booth. You drag him away.

“Excuse me,” Seungmin says, not politely, ripping his arm back. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I think I’m saving your dumb ass from getting felt up by every creep on this mountain.”

“Meh-meh-meh,” he mocks, dodging when you reach for him again. “I’m having fun. I don’t need you to do anything. It’s not like you’d really care if something happened to me. Bad,” he smirks, “or good.”

He knows he has you cornered. You might have the physicality over him, but he is holding this entire scene in his hands. You can only rub your jaw and shake your head, trying and failing to remember how to act indifferent.

He has the tiniest drop of cream on his upper lip, leftover from the sugary abomination someone bought him.

You say nothing in reply to his deliberate antagonizing. You plant one hand on your hip and reach for him with the other. When he tries to dodge, you grab him by the shoulder, firmly putting him in place. He does not move the second time, standing still while you wipe a thumb across the sugary residual.

Then you push at his bottom lip, press down, flicking your thumb so it bounces back. His stare is unwavering. He is not the blushing type, but he noticeably swallows.

“Come on,” you say, zipping up your jacket. “We’re leaving. Now.”

“What if I don’t want to?” he asks.

You grab the back of his neck and drag him right up against you.

“I didn’t ask,” you say.

“Friends don’t get to make demands, dumbass,” he says, sneering the word friends. He does not wriggle away, but he does not fully surrender either. He meets your stare head-on, unmoving and unintimidated.

He is going to make you say it. He is not going to let you act sexy and charm your way out of it. He is going to stand in this bar with your hand uselessly holding his neck until you do.

“Fine,” you say. You exhale. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I said all that dumb shit. I’m a moron.”

“Yes,” he says. “You are.”

“I didn’t think it would matter that much anyway.”

“Because you aren’t the romantic type,” he says dryly.

“Because I didn’t think you’d care,” you admit. “You don’t like me and we don’t get along anyway. I just—” You finally drop your hand, waving at nothing and looking away. You can feel him glaring at you. “Look, I suck, I get it. Believe me, I know all the ways I suck. I figured I’d spare us the mess when you figured that out so I just walked away while it was still good.”

“You’re an even bigger idiot than I thought,” he says. He is still frowning at you. “I already know how much you suck. It was the first thing I noticed, you arrogant, womanizing ass.”

“Hey now…”

“You’re vulgar and loud and, for someone without a dick, you think with it constantly.”

“I… don’t…” You do.

“And for some reason even though you are the biggest idiot and the worst person I have ever met,” he says, still glaring, “I still like something about you. Because even though you’re determined to not let anyone see your good side, unfortunately you have one. Even though it’s buried so deep you have to walk into hell to find it.”

It did not really occur to you that Seungmin has already seen your worst qualities. Because you did not get along, you never felt a need to hide those attributes. Inadvertently, you have been more open and honest with this annoyingly handsome brat than anyone else you have ever known.

You cannot help the smile tugging at your lips. Seungmin rolls his eyes.

“You’re hopeless,” he says, shaking his head as he shoves past you. “Take me home, idiot, before I come to my senses.”

You turn to follow him, only to get bopped on the nose when he shoves a pointed finger in your face.

“If you even think about acting like a moron in the morning,” he says, “I will kill you and make it look like an accident.”

You draw a cross over your heart and nod. He huffs in aggravation, turning on his heel and stomping outside.

“You’re the worst,” he says. He swings open the door and stomps into the snowy night, seemingly unbothered by the fluffy bits of snow swirling around his face. He just swings up his hood and marches through the downy white carpet. “You better make this worth my while,” he says.

Your eyes are on his ass in those jeans, thinking about how you very much will be making it worth his while. You look up when he keeps grumbling to himself, a marked sign he is maybe more nervous than he is letting on. You remember his stubbornness before his eventual acquiescence, the way he hid his face at his most vulnerable moments.

You might be in the habit of ducking out the door, but he deflects just as much with his wit.

You hurry your pace, catching up to him. He is still muttering to himself, head down, a soft layer of snow dusting his jacket and hood. It must be all over your head but you hardly feel the cold. Your mind is on warmth, that stupid heart of yours suddenly flooded with it.

You want this to be good for him, even if he would never outright ask for you to be kind. It is all the more reason to make sure you are. You really were such an idiot.

Your grip is firm but not rough, hand curling protectively over his shoulder. This touch invites more than demands.

He stops in place, looking at you with a wary glare. It disappears when you swoop in. His hood falls as you tug him close. He goes without protest, lips parting under yours with a claiming so heated that the cold does not stand a chance against you.

You try to keep it romantic, a rare act of restraint on your part, but the supposed good boy drags the zipper of your coat down, down, down, then grabs your belt and tugs. You stumble, uncharacteristically shaky, gasping against his lips when he grinds his knuckles against the zip of your jeans.

“Tsk,” he says, lips still brushing yours. “Not prepared.”

“I was planning on sitting around feeling sorry for myself,” you say, with a helpless laugh despite his teasing. You grab his wandering hand, leading it away from your crotch. You are eternally grateful your dick is the kind you can leave in your sock drawer, because resisting him right now would have been impossible otherwise.

“Trust me,” you say. “I’ll make up for it.”

“Fine,” he says. “I will. You better not let me down.” He looks at you when he says this, as close to imploring as Seungmin ever does.

You feel the weight of that trust. You nod, swallowing, looking at his lips, full and pink from the hard press of your kiss. You lean in for more when he abruptly zips your coat again, all the way up to your chin so he smacks your jaw.

“Come on then,” he says with that mean little laugh as he scampers away, grinning at you. “Are you gonna prove it or not?”

It is a short drive back to the cabin, and a torturous one to boot. Not because Seungmin touches you, but because he doesn’t, and he won’t let you touch him either. You try to put a hand on his knee but every attempt is rebuffed. All you get is that cheeky grin or a glare, then a mere flick of his wrist as he brushes you away like lint.

Somehow it is more maddening than a direct touch. You can feel him everywhere just by his proximity. He even jumps out of the car before you unbuckle your seatbelt. He is inside the cabin before you reach the door.

You are panting from the sprint up the driveway, trying to keep up, not entirely convinced he won’t play you for a sucker and run right out the back door. It would be like Seungmin to make you chase him up the mountainside. You wouldn’t blame him for making you prove yourself, considering what an ass you were.

But he is waiting inside the cabin. Everyone else is out for the night and should be gone for hours. When you close the door, sealing out the cold and the world, this cabin feels flush with more heat than you know what to do with.

You do not hesitate. The tantalizing promise of more is like a touch on its own, heightened by his stubborn refusal to give you anything easily. It makes catching him that much more satisfying, that soft sound all the sweeter when you pull him into your arms and finally steal that kiss.

His skin is cool from the weather but his mouth is warm, the kiss searing hot. He digs his blunt nails into the arms of your jacket, pressing the whole length of his hard body against yours.

You remember his unexpectedly tender places, how just a faint stroke behind his ear will have him curling into you, how looping some hair around your fingers and tugging will deepen the rumbling sound that spills past his lips.

You unzip his coat while kissing, licking into him while he scrambles to help strip. The coat hits the floor in a damp heap. You separate for just a moment, giving him the chance to tug his hoodie up and off. You toss your own jacket over the nearby couch, then hook your fingers into his belt loops and pull him close.

His hair is in an endearing state of dishevelment and he looks flushed from the rush of warmth after the chill. Just looking at him like this has you throbbing. You try to imagine telling the old you that you would feel that way, that the annoying friend-of-a-friend who mutually hated your guts would be looking at you like he wants to devour you and let you return the favour.

You can’t imagine believing it. Now it feels completely natural, letting him walk you backwards until your back hits the wall and his chest is pressed to yours, rising and falling with the quickness of his breath.

He is looking aside, contemplatively. You cup his jaw and draw him back to you, unable to resist a breathless laugh when he nips at your fingers. You do not shy away or let go, and that seems to placate him. He practically melts against you, your hand curving around the shape of his cheek, lowering to curl gently around the side of his neck.

“We should go upstairs,” you say. The stairs are right beside you, but somehow the bedroom seems too far.

Impossibly, ridiculously far, when Seungmin flicks some hair out of his eyes and looks at you intensely.

“Don’t you want me on my knees?” he asks.

Your response is not a real word, just a rough sound. He smirks, but is still flushed and a little shaky as he sinks onto his knees. He gets your belt open, tugs it free, and tosses it to the side. The sight of him licking his lips has you seeing stars before he even leans in.

You brush some of his hair back, looking down at his face as he focusses on unzipping your jeans. He has the fly down when you catch your breath and your senses.

You gather the hair at his nape in your fist and tug, firm and sharp. His mouth falls open and his breath stutters, eyes so dark and lips so wet and plush that you are tempted to drive his face right between your legs, where is obviously offering to be.

But that’s not how you want to do this, not yet. You move from his hair to his neck, wrapping your hand around his throat and watching his eyelashes flutter with surprise. There is always a breath of panic in that surprise, adrenaline fueling the flood of desire that follows. He is visibly hard, straining in those sinful jeans, breathing harder as you none-too-nicely push him down onto the stairs.

“What are you doing,” he says, though it sounds like less like a question than acceptance. Continue, waving his hand like a prince on silk sheets even though he is sprawled on his back on the staircase.

“Making it worth your while,” you say. He is not wearing a belt because these jeans are made for his body, snug and perfect and fitted everywhere, so it is just a matter of unbuttoning—

Oof.

He plants his foot on your chest like last time, pushing you back. He blinks innocently.

“Shoes first,” he says.

You smile, though it less playful than predatory, a promise in the flash of your teeth. You nonetheless obey his silly whim as you tug off one shoe than the other. It leaves a damp patch on your shirt which he remarks on. You roll your eyes but tug your shirt off, sports bra following.

The second time you push him down, you are even less nice. You gather his hands in yours and pin them above his head, holding him there when he squirms ineffectively.

“You’re kind of a brat,” you say, yanking his zipper down. “Anyone ever tell you that?”

“You,” he says, panting around the word. “Jerk.”

You laugh, then cover his mouth with yours, swallowing the moan that takes him by surprise. His hips buck towards you when you reach into those jeans to take him in hand. He wriggles in your hold, arms straining while his hips lift toward you for more, following the snapping rhythm of your hand. You trace the dick piercings that caught you by surprise last time, the metal smooth under your rolling thumb.

You only release him when you duck down, tasting for yourself, relishing in the sounds that spill out of him. He claws at your bare shoulder, spreading his legs to make room for you to lay between them. His head falls back, resting on the step above while you work him in your mouth.

“I’m—I’m—” His voice gets lighter, breathier, his orgasm hitting him all at once. He throws an arm over his face instinctively, head thrown back, hips lifting. It catches you by surprise, making you choke just a bit, but he is already coming so you ride it out.

He is still twitching when he finishes, gasping behind his arm when you roll a thumb around his piercing again. When he hisses, knees jerking, you let go.

Knowing him better than you ever thought you would, you move, stretching out alongside him. You tug him into your arms and he goes without hesitation, burying his face in your neck. You snake a hand under his shirt, stroking his back affectionately.

Once more, you are genuinely endeavouring to be sweet.

Once more, he shoves his hand down your pants.

“Hello—” It is all you manage before he is touching you, finding all that wet desire and rubbing a little haphazardly. It makes you laugh and you grab his wrist, slowing him down. “Easy,” you say, showing him a better pace. “Just like that is good.”

He learns quickly. It was the same last time. Every idea you introduced, he contemplated, experimented, then excelled. With just a nudge now, he skillfully obliges. He is breathing hard against your throat, pressed so close to your whole body, his fingers finding all your secrets and working them out. You slide a hand down his backside, squeezing a handful of his ass. The sound he makes has you coming faster than usual.

He puts his hand on your thigh, then lifts his head and grins at you.

“I’m still winning,” he says.

“It’s still not a contest,” you reply, quirking an eyebrow.

“It is,” he says. “And I’m winning.”

“I see.”

You scoop him into your arms and cart him up the stairs. He situates himself by the time you reach the bedroom, legs around your waist and arms around your shoulder.

“Still winning?” you ask.

“Obviously,” he replies.

You shake your head and sigh but with no real animosity, just like his smirk is more playful than vicious. You still whole-heartedly believe he is capable of catching you off guard, so you are prepared for the brat switch to flip at the slightest provocation.

You drop him onto the bed with a gentle thump, then cross your arms and look down at him.

“Can I leave you unsupervised for two minutes while I get my dick?” you ask.

“I don’t know,” he says, blinking innocently. “Can you?”

“Probably not,” you say, but retreat nonetheless. Your equipment is in your travel bag. You left it behind when you went to the bar because you were not in the mood for a hook-up, which should have been the first sign you were hopeless. You were already in waters far too deep when you tried reaching for that shitty life preserver. Learning to swim is not easy but infinitely more rewarding.

You change into packing boxers and tuck your toy into it, buttoning up the pocket. You grab some lube and a towel, then walk back to his bedroom, certain that he has somehow caused trouble in the five minutes it took to do all that.

He’d naked. Of course he is. Sitting where you left him, perched on the edge of the bed, but his clothes are folded in a pile on the dresser and he has nothing but a bedsheet pulled over his lap. He is not wearing his usual cheeky expression, though, and you are about to ask if something is wrong. Then he says, “I’ve never done this before.”

“Oh,” you say. “That’s fine.” It is the unthinking response, automatic as the admission is not too surprising. You live in a world where strap-ons and gender games are the norm, so sometimes you forget that most people consider it inherently kinky or an anomaly. A lot of men are new to it. Seungmin didn’t even know what was packing was when you first mentioned it.

But then he says, “Any of it.”

And you say, “Huh?”

“I’ve never done,” he says slowly, “any of this.”

“Any.”

It takes a long minute to compute. You think about his clumsy touches and experiments followed by his quick learning. Unabashed and unjudgmental regardless of what he encountered. Testing and figuring himself out just as much as you.

“Oh,” you say. Then, “Oh. Fucking shit. I’m such an asshole.”

Because that was his first time doing anything with someone, and you just walked out the door without a word the next morning.

He does not look upset about it anymore. In fact, he laughs, though he tries to hold it back. It turns into a snort he barely catches, amused eyes gazing up at you.

“Yeah,” he says. “You are. We already knew that.”

“I really, I just—”

“Can you shut up and come take my virginity before I get beatified for involuntary chastity?”

“But you’re so fucking hot,” you blurt.

It is obviously not the retort he anticipated, because he blushes profusely, which is not the response you expected.

He clears his throat and looks away, rolling his eyes to compensate for the obvious vulnerability.

“Thanks,” he says. “Stating the obvious. I’m also picky. And apparently I scare people.”

“Scare them?” you ask, quirking an eyebrow. “Who’d be scared of you?”

“Evidently not you,” he says. His tone is snarky but he looks at you, up and down, and the look is a thoughtful one. “Not ever.”

Agh. There’s that heart again, pounding away. Who knew that thing could race so fast.

“Well,” you say, finally putting the bottle and towel on the bedside table. “That is their loss. Not everyone is built for chasing luxury, I guess.”

“Luxury,” he says with another snort, grinning despite himself. “I’m high-end,” he says it like a fact, not a question.

“Naturally,” you say, approaching where he is sitting.

“I’m going to be honest,” he says, eyes wandering your body before landing on your face. “I thought you were going to be weird and egotistical about being with a virgin.”

It suddenly pings in your head that you are his first, that there is a certain responsibility that comes with that. That the wrong person could make this terrible for him. That you want to make sure it feels better than anything he could dream. These thoughts are completely and truly unselfish.

And there is one admittedly egotistical and selfish thought, of making him irrevocably yours with one really good fuck.

He glares when he sees the look on your face, his lips pursed, though a breath of a laugh escapes nonetheless.

“Wow!” he says. “You’re a pig, go away.”

“No, no, I’m not, I swear!” you say, laughing.

He laughs too but shakes his head, pushing you away when you reach for him. “No way,” he says. “You and your ego. Gross.”

“Please, I promise,” you say, getting on your knees and lacing your hands together like a praying supplicant. “I’ll be so normal,” you say. “I have no ego at all.”

“You’re the worst,” he says dryly.

“Yeah, but…” You wiggle your eyebrows at him. “You kinda like me anyway, right?”

It is a more vulnerable question than you thought it would be. It prompts him to look at you, really look at you, before he huffs and rolls his eyes.

“Unfortunately,” he says.

You giggle and he swats your head.

“Are we just going to sit here all night and look at each other?” he asks, crossing his arms.

“No, no, of course not,” you say. You get back on your feet, standing bedside so you are looming over him.

“What are we doing then?” he asks.

“Well, you know what we’re doing,” you say, laughing when he rolls his eyes and huffs again.

You reach out, cupping his face in both your hands and guiding him to look up at you. Your heartbeat hammers away not only in your chest but everywhere else, a rapid current of heat that thunders most prominently between your legs as shiny dark eyes gaze up at you amorously from such a suggestive vantage.

“First, before anything else, this.” You speak in a lower voice, watching his spine straighten as the sound. You run your thumb across his bottom lip like you did earlier, except this time it is a bruised pink from kissing. It really makes you feel like that extra weight in your boxers is coming to life, connected to you intimately, ready and wanting as you are. Especially when you tug on that bottom lip, when he leans towards your hand like he needs it, needs you.

“Now,” you say. “Now I want you on your knees.”

There is a sharp intake of breath before he nods, subtly, then shifts. The sheets falls away from his lap, revealing he is already half-hard again. There are goosebumps along his skin, from his nudity and the chill or just anticipation.

Last time, he needed almost no direction. He followed his own instinct, logically deducing that the part of the toy you could feel was the part at the base, closest to your body. He uses his usual deductions when unbuttoning your boxers, taking a second to first press the base of the toy against you before leaning back and opening his mouth.

It is not easy to come like this, but you are so worked up that it might happen. It does not matter if you do. It is not always about chasing the perfect orgasm. This time, it is touch and sensuality. He lets you teach him, rather than stampeding like last time. You wonder if his heart is pounding given how red the tips of his ears are, blood rushing everywhere in a hurry. You hold his face and slide back and forth, taking your time getting wet, both yourself and the toy, pushing him a little further each time.

When his mouth is full and he blinks slowly, contently, every bratty remark and combative tone far from his mind, you smile and tug his hair. He moans and you push a little more, gliding back and forward again.

“You’re a fast learner,” you say. “Bet you could get used to this.”

It is a testing tease, to great success if the returned moan is anything to go by. He squeezes his eyes shut and starts touching himself, finally moving his head instead of letting you guide him. Before he gets too lost in the rhythm, you ease him back. You smile and rub your thumb across his shiny lips as he blinks up at you.

“Come here,” you say, and kiss him.

He falls into the kiss, arms wrapping around you as you lay down with him. He is eager in the searching heat of the kiss, long and deep and hungry. You get on your back and pull him on top of you, give him one more drawn-out kiss with a filthy wet lick into his mouth, then smile.

“Turn around,” you say. “Keep going.”

It takes him a second to work out what you mean, but he really is a fast learner. Soon he is laying on top of you, face where it was before, mouth wrapping around the end of your dick and his fingers searching beneath it to stroke you directly.

You snatch the lube off the table and wet your fingers then him, taking it slow and easy, using your mouth and spit then more lube until everything is slippery and he gives in so easily into you. He is breathing hard down between your legs, resting his cheek on your thigh and no longer using his mouth on you. His eyes are closed and his hips are rocking, focussed on the sensations that you are certain are overwhelming him.

You move him around, at which point he comes to attention, looking back at you. This is the quietest he has ever been, all the action in his heart as you expected; you can feel it racing when you touch his chest.

You lay him down in front of you, sidling up behind him. You lay a hand on the wildly fluttering race of his pulse, throat cupped in your palm. You turn his face to kiss him, your wet hand stroking your wet dick. You probably should have thrown that towel down before getting started. The sheets are a mess already.

“Ugh, hurry up,” he says, reaching back to smack your thigh. “You’re the worst. I hate you.”

You laugh. Oh well. No time to worry about bedsheets. You give his throat a gentle squeeze and smile at the noise he makes, strained and needy, his hips rearing back into you.

“What?” you ask, sliding the toy down his backside. “You want something?”

“I will bury you in the mountain pass,” he says. “They’ll think it was a skiing accident. And that you got mauled by a bear. And eaten by wolves. And—”

To be honest, having him distracted and rambling is for the best. It means he is more relaxed, not so focussed when you finally start pushing in. Of course, he feels it pretty fast, and instinctively rebels. You stop clutching his throat and hold an arm across his chest instead, holding him protectively and kissing that sweet spot behind his ear. His groaning turns into a whine.

“Okay?” you ask.

“Gonna kill you,” he says.

“That a yes?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you.” You hook a hand under his leg and pull it up, giving yourself leverage, then fuck into him completely. His whine turns to a sharp yelp, hand scrabbling against the arm on his chest. You let him catch his breath and adjust. “Still okay?”

“It’s weird,” he says.

“Bad weird?”

“No,” he says. “It’s… it’s good. It’s just…” You move a little and his whole body clenches then loosens. He makes a strangled noise but softens in your arms, though his nails have dug a pretty picture into your skin. You are surprised he hasn’t drawn blood. “Ugh,” he says. “It’s so wet. I feel like a river rafting ride.”

“Not… what most people usually say… but okay…”

“I’m… not… most people.”

“No,” you say, kissing that spot again and finally moving your hips. “You’re not.”

You are not sure if his little sound of submission is in response to your actions or your words, but with it he seems to all at once open to you. You find a rhythm, holding his hand when his fingers search for yours on his chest. He ends up biting your arm, which you should have seen coming, but it’s fine because you leave a visible bite mark on his neck in return.

At that he gets into it, meeting the pace you set, altering it to what he wants. It is a good thing the house is empty because you are not quiet at all. If your fooling around was enough to send an aggravated Minho storming after you, then this probably would have led to him burning the cabin down.

The thought makes you snicker, which makes Seungmin ask what is so funny, so you tell him then he laughs too.

“Ugh, stop making me laugh,” he says.

“You can laugh while making love,” you say, kissing his neck. “It’s okay.”

That does not make him laugh but it does make him sigh. “Making love, huh,” he says dryly. “That doesn’t sound like you.”

“It didn’t,” you say, finding another sweet spot that has his whole body rearing into yours. “I guess I’m a fast learner too.”

“Ew, you’re so annoying,” he says, but squeezes your fingers in his hand.

“I think you’re not getting fucked right if you’re still this bratty,” you say playfully, prompting him to roll his eyes.

“What are you gonna do about it? Make love at me? Sap.”

You laugh, kiss his neck, then move away to roll him onto his back. He wriggles a bit, surprised with the change and sudden emptiness. His legs part easily when you move between them, but you still snap, “Spread. Good.” Because it makes him swallow hard, his dark eyes sparkling and his mouth bruised, hair mussed and body flushed. He is already a fucked out sight, but he wants more, and you give it.

You snap your hips together and fuck into him. This time you do hold his throat, gently, not repressing air but showing control. He holds your forearm with both hands, his face scrunching up, eyes closed as he focusses in that intense way of his. He breathes hard, makes sweet sounds, and not a single antagonistic or bratty word leaves his pretty mouth.

“I think I’m finally winning,” you tease, to which he just makes a hiccupping sound of pleasure. “Yeah, that’s right.”

You hold his ridiculously pretty dick and give it the expert treatment it deserves. The combination of sensations has him throwing his head back, clawing your arm as you work him in your head. You cannot feel the end of the toy, but there is a magic in this kind of fucking, and when he comes and he clutches your arm and he screams your name, when the muscles in his abdomen clench and you know he is feeling sensation in every part of his body, you can feel him wrapped around you, wholly and completely, like you could feel him when he wasn’t even touching you at all.

He writhes almost desperately as you keep touching him until he can’t take it anymore, then you ease him down and pull back.

“Good?” you ask, sitting back, looking down at him, blissfully fucked out and dishevelled.

“Yes,” he murmurs. “I won. Again.”

“Gonna need to supply me with that rubric one of these days,” you say.

“Meh-meh-meh,” is the half-hearted retort, delving to a sleepy sigh.

“Gotta take care of yourself before you go to sleep,” you say, though you have a feeling it’s a losing battle, his eyelids already heavy.

“That’s what you’re for,” he grumbles.

That damn heart really does have a mind of its own. It has clearly decided to make its presence known whenever it damn well pleases.

You run your fingers through his messy hair, smiling when he blinks up at you.

You tidy him up then scoop him into your arms to carry him to your bed, because that one is not a filthy sex nest. He wakes a little on the journey. And when you lay down and pull a sheet up, he rolls towards you and throws an arm and a leg around you, pinning you to the bed.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you say. “I promise.”

“Good,” he says. “You’re too stupid to be out there on your own.”

You laugh in spite of yourself, shaking your head, but you put an arm around him and nod.

“You’re right,” you say.

“Of course I am.” He snuggles in close and sighs. “Now go the fuck to sleep. Your dick is in the sink so you have no excuse. Good night.”

“Good night,” you say with a laugh.

I think I won too, you almost say, but decide let him believe he is the only winner for now, because he is already falling asleep with his head on your shoulder.

You can tell him in the morning.

#kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin smut #skz smut #skz x reader

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xxbimbobunnyxx · 4 months

Text

It was just a dream

(Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)

Summary: So this is based on This request that @taintedcigs got and she gave me permission to write it because it’s kind of heavy. The request is based on reader dreaming about crying at Eddie’s grave but I did change it to you having a dream about the day he almost died. That’s just the way it came to me personally. You have a dream about the day Eddie dies, but you wake him in his arms, and he comforts you in every way possible. WK: 3k.

Warnings: In beginning of the fic although it is a dream I do describe Eddie’s death so read with caution if that upsets you, unprotected p in v, love making, fingering, hurt/comfort, Eddie being the sweetest goofball, fluff. 18+MNDI!!

A/N: I’ve never written a single thing where I acknowledge “the scene” or Eddie dying, ever. Like I always write AU with no upside down. But after seeing those photos yesterday I’ve been feeling very emotional and I saw this request and idk it just kinda came to me. I did cry writing it, but it also comforted me a lot. But pls pls read with caution if this might be upsetting for you. Thank you to my lovely @babygorewhore & @bimbobaggins69 for beta reading for me. Sending everybody love.🖤

The muscles in your legs are screaming and your lungs burn with each step you take. The grey particle filled air feels like it’s filling your organs with each intake of breath. But it’s nothing compared to the tearing feeling in your heart, the anxiety and fear coursing through you pushing your aching body to keep running. The massive bite shaped gash in your calf is a distant sensation as your eyes zero in on the swarm of bats, eagerly searching for any signs of him.

“God fucking damn it, Eddie. Fuck!”

Tears stream down your cheeks and your throat is raw from the curses and screams you’ve been letting out for the last few minutes. At least you think it’s been minutes. It truly felt like it’s been hours since you watched him cut that rope. You screamed so loud you felt like your ear drums were going to burst. You scrambled back through the gate, injured leg be damned.

The minute you hit the ground, you didn’t stop. Not when you heard something in your shoulder crack, not when you heard Dustin screaming after you. You didn’t stop when one of those bats flew directly at you, you just ran faster, jabbing your spear directly into its heart as you went. And you weren’t going to stop. Not until you reached Eddie. You couldn’t. They’d have to kill you first.

The adrenaline in your body continued to push you forward, only a few feet away from the swarm now. You tried your best to focus your eyes through the endless streams of tears falling from them, and it took a few seconds but you finally saw him. Your heart lurched when you saw he was still standing, his shield held above him. It somehow gave you the strength to run faster, your spear slashing through the air at the bats to get to him.

“EDDIE!!!!!!!!!”

His head whips in your direction at the sound of your voice, a shocked look on his face. In the same moment he looks away a bat lunges at his side, taking a large bite out of him, causing him to cry out in pain.

“EDDIE NO!!”

You shove your spear into the bat that’s latched onto him and it lets out a shriek as it dies. Your relief is short lived because there’s a sudden stabbing pain in your already stinging shoulder and another one in your bicep.

“BABY!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! FUCK!”

Eddie can’t believe you’re here, you weren’t supposed to follow him. He knew he wasn’t making it out of this, and now he was going to take you with him. He never should’ve cut that rope. He slams his spear against the bat on your shoulder, while you shove your nails into the one on your bicep. But it’s no use, you’re surrounded. Every time you get one off, two more are on you, and he’s starting to feel weak.

In that moment he does the only thing he can think to do, he wraps his arms around you, tackling you to the ground. His covers his body with yours, his arms on each side of your head, his face hovering above yours so your eyes can meet.

“I’m so sorry baby, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.” Tears fall from his eyes and onto your cheeks, pooling together with the ones leaving your own eyes.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” You soothe him, your bloodied hands reaching up to cradle his face. His eyes are shut now, his body tensing over and over as he uses it to shield yours against the bats attacks. “At least we are together, yeah? Kiss me.”

He obligees, his dirty sweat stained lips meeting yours in a desperate kiss. He kisses you over and over until he physically can’t anymore. His head lulling to the side against your chest. You hold onto him for dear life, barely even feeling the chunks you’re sure are being taken out of your forearms. You feel like it’s never going to end, until suddenly it does. The attacks all stop at once, a chorus of thuds sounding around you. Then you hear Dustin’s voice calling your names, it’s distant, but it’s there.

“Eddie, Eddie, they’re dead.” You shake him slightly and he groans. “You gotta get off me so I can take a look at you baby.”

“Oh my god!! Are you guys okay!?” You see Dustin’s panicked face standing over you and you wish you had it in you to make a sarcastic remark about how you’re obviously not, but you don’t.

“Dustin! Help me, help me roll him over, please.” You practically beg him, your sobs still haven’t stopped, the shallowness of Eddie’s breath taking away any relief you felt about the bats being gone.

Dustin bends down, rolling Eddie off you as carefully as he can. Eddie whimpers when his back hits the ground and you immediately shoot up right, leaning over him.

“Eddie, sweetie, can you look at me?”

“Bad, huh?” He groans, a slight smirk still somehow present on his face.

“No no, Eddie you’re gonna be okay.” Dustin is on his knees how, trying to access Eddie’s injuries through his panic.

“I didn’t run away this time, right?” Your heart breaks at the sound of his voice, this can’t be fucking happening.

“No, baby, you didn’t. But we’re gonna get you okay of here, okay?” You grab rub your thumbs over his temples, resting your forehead against his.

“Yeah, we just gotta get you to a hospital, come on, you guys gotta get up.” Dustin begs, tears fall from his eyes and it breaks your heart even more. You hate that he has to see this.

“I just… I need a second.” Eddie groans, his hand weakly reaches for your face, cupping it like he’s done a thousand times before, like you’re scared he will never do again. “I love you, I love you so much baby. You’re my everything, I’m so sorry.”

“I love you Eddie, I love you. It’s gonna be okay don’t apologize because it’s gonna be okay.” You rub your nose against his, he feels cold and his breathing is more shallow than ever.

“Dustin…” he turns to his young friend with a found smile. “You’re gonna have to look after those little sheep for me, okay?”

“No, no, you’re gonna do it yourself” Dustin’s sobs cause a new wave of your own to wrack through your body, shaking every bone.

“Nah man… you’re gonna do it for me…” Eddie smiles, patting Dustin’s cheek with all his strength. “Baby girl… you’re gonna be okay, okay? I’m … so sorry. I love you.”

His hands start to slip from both of your faces, his eyes falling shut.

“Eddie? Eddie!! No, no, no, no. Baby stay with me.” You shake his face, but this time you get no response. Your hands clutch onto his hair, your head falling to his chest. “NO!!! NO! NO NO NO NO!!! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!!! EDDIE NO!!!”

You feel like the world is shaking around you, you feel like your heart is being ripped from your chest. You can’t lose him. You feel warm hands on your shoulders shaking you as someone says your name over and over again. You push them off. You aren’t leaving him. They’ll have to leave you here.

“Baby!!!! Wake up!!!! You’re dreaming, it’s a dream, I’m here.” Eddie’s voice finally gets through to you, and your dream hazed mind vaguely starts to recognize the feeling of his arms around you. You come back into your waking body slowly and then all at once, shooting straight up with a shriek.

You look around the room panting, it’s still dark, and you’re in bed. With Eddie. Eddie is alive. He didn’t die. The others got to you in time. You’re in your new fancier than you ever imagined, government tip off home. That you share with Eddie and Wayne. Eddie is alive. You start to repeat the mantra that’s become all to familiar to yourself in your mind as you feel strong arms wrap around you from behind.

“It’s okay baby, you’re okay, I’m here. It’s just a dream.” Eddie soothes you, pulling you into his lap so he can cradle you. He rocks back and forth, his hands running over every part of you, he makes sure to keep his grip strong, remembering that you said it makes you feel grounded. It makes you feel like he’s really here.

“Oh Eddie, it was so real. It was like I was really there again.” You sob into his bare chest as your hands desperately caress his skin. Some of it still has the same smooth texture you always remembered, most of it is rough from scars. But it’s just another thing that grounds you to reality, another reminder that he’s real and the dream wasn’t.

“I know sweetheart, I know. But it’s okay, I’m here, I’m always going to be here for you. I’m so sorry.” Eddie’s crying now, the guilt of leaving you, of putting you through this plagues him constantly. The dreams aren’t every night like they used to be, they’ve finally started to space out after almost a year. But it still pains him deeply that he put you through this. That on nights like this you scream out for him, because of him.

“It’s okay Eddie, it’s okay.” Your hands loop around his neck, pulling him close. You hate that he beats himself up, you understand why he did it and you’re just glad he’s alive, glad he’s here with you. But your unconscious mind couldn’t seem to get the memo. No matter how much you understood, no matter how much mental and physical healing you did in the waking hours, the dream always found its way back to you. “I love you. So much. I love you so much Eddie.”

“I love you baby, more than anything.” He wanted to apologize again, until his lungs gave out, but he knows you hate it when he does that. That you’ll just tell him there’s nothing to be sorry for, even though he will always feel like there is. So he does what he always does, he decides to show you how sorry he is without his words. To remind you how here he truly is.

He cups your face in his hands gently, like you’re porcine glass that could break at any moment. He rests his forehead against yours, just reveling in the feeling of being close to you. He takes deep breaths and you follow, you’re basically breathing each other's air but you don’t even care, you want it that way. He kisses you sweetly, once, twice, three times. The fourth kiss is more firm, but still so gentle. Your fingers lace through his hair as you shift your body so you're straddling him. His tongue softly licks across your bottom lip and you immediately grant him access, tangling it with your own.

He kisses you leisurely, his tongue exploring every inch of your mouth as his hands roam your body. Your thin tank top is the only thing separating your skin from his but it feels like the thickest winter coat right now so you break the kiss to quickly pull it over your head. You press your chest against his, his skin against yours feels like a breath of fresh air and you sigh at the feeling.

“My beautiful girl, you’re so beautiful, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” His brown eyes are soft and filled with love as they look into yours. He gives you a gentle kiss before his lips start to travel down your jaw and neck. Gentle caresses of his lips and flicks of his tongue pull breathy gasps and needy moans from you. “Let me show you how much I love you.”

“Yes Eddie, please.” It’s all you need right now, you need him as close to you as possible in every way. You need him.

“Lay back for me baby.”

You oblige, rolling off him and onto your back. You situate your head on the pillows and he climbs over you with a sweet smile on his face.

“Look at you, you think I’d ever leave someone as sexy as you? Not a chance baby.” He leans down and kisses you, his ringed hand caresses your inner thigh and you shiver. He brings it to your core, running his knuckles along your underwear covered slit. “I don’t think I could go a day without you.”

“You went like… almost two months without me when we were healing.”

“Shhh… that’s besides the point, that was like forced, doctor ordered, celibacy and it was almost more torture than the healing process. Don’t remind me of the dark times, babe.” You giggle at him, your heart warming at him just being Eddie. He stayed that way, laughing and joking, making D&D references through it all.

“You’re so dramatic. But, you’re not wrong. I missed you so bad when I couldn’t have you.”

“You can have me now babe, all the time, forever, whenever you want. I’m not going anywhere.” He smirks at you as he pulls your panties down your legs, you kick them off your ankles and spread your legs for him. He groans at the sight of your slick pussy, bringing two long fingers and running them through your lips. You moan and your back arches off the bed when he inserts them inside you, immediately curving them to hit that perfect spot.

“Fuck.” His fingers thrust in and out of you at the perfect pace, his thumb comes up to circle your clit and he leans down to place gentle wet kisses along your throat. “Oh god.”

“Yeah baby? Is that good? You gonna cum for me?” His fingers speed up and he gently nips at that spot on your neck that makes you crazy, his cock ruts against your thigh and it sends you over the edge. Your body tensing underneath him as moans rip out of you. “That’s it, good girl.”

He fucks you through your high, only pulling his fingers from you when he feels your body relax. He holds eye contact with you as he inserts the digits into his mouth, sucking your juices off them with a groan.

“Eddie… I need to feel you, please.” You reach for the band of his sweatpants, tugging at the material.

“No need to beg sweets, I’ve got you, I’m gonna take care of you.” He pushes his pants off, freeing his cock and taking it into his hand, stroking it a few times. He runs the tip through your slick folds, bringing it up to circle your clit before slowly pushing inside you. Once his hips are flush against yours he connects your lips again, kissing you passionately.

“Oh fuck, Eddie. Yes.” He starts to roll his hips, not pulling out of you, just reveling in the feeling of being inside you. You clutch onto his back, pulling him down fully on top of you, just wanting to feel his weight on you.

“Mmm you feel so good, so so good, pussy is always so good for me.” He’s kissing every inch of you he can reach, your cheeks, eyelids, neck, collar bones. He finally pulls his hips back, slowly pulling his cock almost all the way out of you before shoving it deep inside you again. He repeats this action a few times before thrusting into you deep and hard. He still has his weight on you, and he’s not fucking you fast, just taking his time feeling every single part of you. With his hands, his cock, his lips,

“Eddie, I love you, I love you, you feel so good.”

“I love you so much baby girl, more than anything, I love fucking you.” He picks up the pace a little, his hand snakes between your bodies so he can rub your clit.

“Oh fuuuuck, yes, Eddie I’m - I’m gonna cum soon.”

“Yeah, cum for me, I wanna see your beautiful face when you cum undone on my cock.”

His lips crash against yours, his tongue immediately licking into your mouth, he’s hitting that perfect spot over and over again and his fingers continue to circle your clit. It’s all so good, and it sends you over the edge. Your orgasm crashes over you, you let out needy moans and gasps against Eddie’s mouth as your pussy clenches around him. He pulls away so he can see your face, and the sight has him spilling inside of you. He falls forward, his face buried in your neck. He places gentle kisses there in between panting breaths.

The position reminds you of the dream, the memory really, but this time it doesn’t sting, because Eddie is alive. He’s alive and he’s panting on top of you for the best reason, instead of the worst.

“Thank you.” You sigh, wrapping your arms around him, squeezing him tight. “I’m sorry for waking you up.”

“Psh! Don’t be sorry, I got to be here for my girl and I got to have bomb sex? Seems like a win win to me.” You feel him smile against your neck and it makes you laugh.

He rolls off of you onto his back, and you have to push the thoughts of that day from your mind again but you don’t have long to think about it because he’s pulling you into his chest, running his hands down your back and placing a kiss on the top of your head before your mind can fully go there.

“But in all seriousness, don’t be sorry, okay? You know I’m always here for you. No matter what. Especially on nights like this. I’m all in, always. I fucking love you so much. I’m not going anywhere.” He puts his fingers under your chin, tilting your face up to look at him. He smiles at you sweetly, placing a kiss on your nose, then your lips.

“I love you Eddie. I’m always here for you too. I’m never letting you go. Ever.”

You nuzzle into his chest, just happy to feel him. Just happy he’s alive. You might both be scarred, mentally and physically, and they might not ever fully heal. But at least you’ll always have each other.

#eddie munson x reader #Dolly writes #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson hurt/comfort #Eddie Munson smut #Eddie Munson one shot #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader smut #Eddie Munson fanfiction

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fatuismooches · 2 years

Note

Hello

I just saw your post with the fragile SO and honestly I loved it sooo much ❤️

Now I wanted to request kinda of a follow up. Like what if before you died you wrote them a letter, saying how much you love them and how they made your last days on earth so memorable and stuff like that. And they found it, like maybe a month or so after your death. How would they all react? (I'm specially curious of Capitano because you said you thought he would think that he killed you 😭)

I really love your writing and I plan to make more request in the future 👋

-🦎

♡𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐥𝐞/𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐃𝐢𝐞𝐝 ♡

synopsis: The Harbingers are made of steel, unflinching in any possible situation. But it seems that even such strong beings falter in the face of their lover's death, especially after they find a letter you left behind. Can be read as a part 2 to this.

includes: all harbingers (platonic pulcinella) w/ gn! reader

notes: Hop on the angst train, everyone. This is the first completely angsty thing I've written, and probably one of my favorites + longest pieces. I hope you enjoy this sadness, anon...!

Pierro:

Pierro carried on. He went about his day, filing paperwork, assigning duties to new recruits. What could he do? There was no time to mourn. The entire Fatui depended on his guidance and orders. He couldn’t just drop everything to fully devote himself to grieving you. But everyone knew - in any spare moment he had, he was thinking about you. Thinking about how he used to be able to go home to you waiting for him. Thinking about the walks he took with you that were heartwarming despite the body-chilling temperature. Thinking about when you were alive.

It was another day when one of your maids came to him with a piece of paper. Of course, she was terrified at being in the presence of the Harbinger, but she presented a folded piece of paper to him, stating that she had found it while cleaning your room. Pierro hadn’t been in there for a while. He was consciously trying his best to avoid it, choosing to pick up work instead. He nodded and the maid quickly scurried out of the room. It was most likely a final memento from you. He should honor that, he thought as he took off his mask.

Dear Pierro,

Hello there, my love. I hope your day wasn’t too tiring. I know how you’re always swamped with your Fatui business and such. You’re the head Harbinger, you know! You should definitely abuse your power to get some more days off. You didn’t hear that from me though, not like I wanna keep you to myself or anything. Totally not because I’m dying to spend some more time with you before I quite literally die.

You know, sometimes I wish I was a Fatui soldier just so that I could admire you from afar some more. Those recruits are damn lucky, getting to see you more than I do. I don’t mean to complain though. I’m still tremendously grateful for everything you’ve done for me. I’ve had the pleasure of enjoying the best moments of my life with you. Yeah, even when I made jokes you still had that stoic look on your face but it was still hilarious. I loved when you would wrap me in your coat and tell me stories about Khaenri’ah. Even when you weren’t here, I loved when these random recruits would be scurrying to my room every so often to deliver your handwritten notes.

Truly, there’s no life I’d rather live than this one… minus the illness part though. I am sorry to make you shoulder another death, my dear, but I love you greatly. I will always be with you.

Quietly, Pierro put the paper down and rubbed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. Ever since the fall of his nation, his heart had long gone numb. He had tried to ignore the prickling of his heart after your death, but your letter was really rubbing it on. When was the last time mere words could stir up such emotion in him? He didn’t know. But he promised you, this would not be your final resting place. Pierro knew, after fulfilling the Tsaritsa’s promise, he would see you again.

Capitano:

Capitano wasn’t very photogenic. After all, all you saw was a helmet shrouding his face in darkness along with his pitch-black armor and clothes. But you had insisted on taking a variety of pictures with him, claiming that it kept you happy. It wasn’t until later on when he stumbled across a scrapbook, with pages covered in photos of the two of you together, that he understood why. Since then, he let you do as you please. The doctors said it was good for you to keep occupied by doing things you liked. And well, it was rather cute, with all the decorations and fancy tape you added. Capitano often found himself looking at it to see what you added when you weren’t around.

But ever since your death, he hadn’t looked at it since. If he did, he didn’t think he’d be able to control the emotions boiling up inside of him. If he looked at your smiling face again, the pain and regret would be too much to bear. But as the days passed by and he continued to think about you, he couldn’t help but flip open the scrapbook, revisiting the memories he made with you so long ago. He flipped until he found a envelope in the middle, causing him to perk up. It had been sealed perfectly, even stamped with one of his seals. Now, Capitano didn’t want to invade your privacy, but what was inside called to him too much, and he very carefully unsealed it with a knife. Inside was a piece of parchment, similar to the ones he used to send you letters.

My knight,

I’m writing this after you just left for an expedition. You’ve just fed me breakfast (a/d fa//ed, but it’s f/ne b/ca/se it w/s c/te.) (The ending part of the sentence has been erased, but it’s still a bit readable.) We took an early bath together, and you helped me choose a nice outfit for today. You dutifully assisted me with my medicine and tucked me back into bed for some rest. Lastly, you’ve just tenderly kissed me with all the love in the world, my favorite part of course.

It’s too bad that I won’t be able to receive any more of your kisses soon. I think the sickness is really catching up to me, haha. (There are some doodles of the two of you randomly drawn in the middle of the paper, with lots of hearts and stars and rainbows. Maybe you stopped because you didn’t know how to continue.) To be honest, I’ve asked the doctors not to tell you, and somehow, they’ve listened to me. I just don’t want you to worry about me. Somehow, for someone as menacingly looking as you, you worry a lot more than I thought (no offense, though.)

I don’t want you to blame yourself for anything, my love. You genuinely made my life so, so much better. Even towards the end, I can only feel happiness that I was able to share some of my life with someone so incredible. You aren’t a monster. You’re the man I love dearly, the one who many people look up to all the time. You did everything and more, which really warms my heart.

I’m saying this because I know how you are and I need to knock some sense into you before you start getting any crazy ideas. Please don’t beat yourself up. If I could choose my destiny, I’d rather choose to be sick and be with you rather than being healthy. I’d choose you again and again, over and over, my dear. I love you, truly.

Carefully folding the letter, he tucked it into the envelope again and resealed it. He snugly placed it back into the scrapbook and closed it, placing it back into the drawer where he usually kept it. Capitano was used to the grief and destruction that war brought. But he wasn’t used to it when love brought these feelings upon him. His heart still hurt - terribly so - but… your letter seems to have brought him some peace. You would forever be in his heart.

Columbina:

It had been a while since your death. By now, everyone had become accustomed to hearing her songs every day. It was a constant reminder of your passing. Oftentimes, Columbina had begun to stay in your room longer than her own. You were gone, but something about your space soothed her soul a bit from all the grief she was going through. And she also liked to go through your stuff and remember different things about you.

There was a box that contained a compilation of the many songs and poems she gifted you, along with some that you created yourself with her help. Sometimes, she liked to go through the box and think about you, but she never had the time to inspect every piece. Until now, when she noticed that there was an unfamiliar piece of paper that she didn’t recognize. Columbina picked it up and began to read.

My lovely melody,

Lately, I’ve begun to sing more. I think you’ve inspired me. I hope you don’t mind me stealing that one song you like to hum the most. The only problem is that I don’t have enough stamina to sing for that long, and I think my voice is kind of off-key. But I promise I’m working on it! I’m not going to tell you yet because I want to surprise you with something nice, as a thank you for taking care of me for so long.

Actually, there’s another problem, and it’s that… (it seems that you wrote a lot of words here and then scratched them out; perhaps you were unsure how to word it) Well, I guess I don’t really know if I’ll live long enough to perform for you. It’s been kind of tough lately. But I’m going to persevere for you. Your poems have been helping a lot. We should make a book of them one day. And um, in the case that I don’t make it, I would like you to know how happy you made me.

I always got so giddy when I heard you humming down the hallway. Nothing felt better than when you would croon to me and massage my scalp and play with my hair. You are so comforting and sweet, and just - lots of things that would be too much to write. I always feel eternally fortunate that I was able to have a lover as amazing as you. You really did change my life. I love you very much, Columbina. Please don’t forget me.

Columbina’s usual smile had turned into a downward curve. Oh, how she wished she could hear you sing. Your usual voice and laugh had already been angelic to her, she knew your songs would be beautiful too. But you were no longer here. She would have really loved to hear your song. You would have been the best duet partner. But perhaps, you could hear her songs from the other world as she laid on your coffin once again.

Dottore:

Dottore hadn’t entered your room since your death. He was far too busy with his research and experimentation with resurrection. Mourn you? No, no, you weren’t going to be dead for long, after he finds the answer. You would be back in his arms soon enough. Both of you would be fine. That was, until no matter how hard he researched, he always seemed to hit a dead end. It was frustrating. He couldn’t believe it, but he was at the point where he willingly needed a couple of minutes to rest. Dottore headed to his room, but as he placed his hand on the doorknob, something stopped him and he looked over to the room next to his, yours. He silently walked over and opened your room, having not been in it for a while. The only reason you didn’t share a room was that his was very… bland, boring, not very comfortable, and not spacious enough for the medical equipment.

It was the same as he had left it, not bothering to change anything. You liked to decorate it, and he let you. Framed photos of the two of you were on the dresser, lights hung up around the room. It seemed to make you happy. But there was something he had not noticed before - a slip of paper sticking out from under the pillow. Dottore walked over and took off his mask - something he unconsciously tended to do when it was just the two of you - and opened the folded paper.

To Zandik,

I remember when you first took interest in me, looking at me up and down with your mask on, a wide smirk on your face. I knew my parents said they hired someone intelligent to cure me, but I sure didn’t expect it to be the second Harbinger. I think you already know this, but when I saw you, I was kinda scared for my life. And I was for a while, especially when you made me drink the most hellish concoctions and injected strange things into me. But long story short, I still fell in love with you somehow. Even though you were probably trying so hard just because you wanted to solve the mystery of my illness, I couldn’t help but think you were quite handsome when you focused on something so intensely. Your pointy teeth were the cutest. (The previous sentence has been erased but Dottore could still make it out. You were an idiot, he thinks.)

I don’t mean to insult your intelligence or skill… but I don’t think I’m going to make it, Dottore. I know you’ve been trying really, really hard (I was there the whole time, after all) to help cure me, but I think you know better than me about my condition. So yeah. I guess this is my goodbye… my parting letter.

I know you don’t care about anyone or anything really, but I hope you accept it when I say I genuinely enjoyed our time together. Yea, you were hella terrifying and a lot of scary stories drifted about you, but there was a lot of maniacal laughter and you rambling on about things I had no clue about, but I would always happily listen to you, Zandik. I would write more, but I don’t think you’re one for sappy words and stuff like that. So I’ll leave end it here. I love you very much.

His mouth was a straight thin line at the end of your letter. Dottore put his mask back on and tucked your letter into his coat. For once, he couldn’t blame someone for insulting his intelligence. He did fail, after all. But Dottore was no stranger to failure. Experimentation was a series of trials and errors, failures and successes. He swore to himself that you would not be a failure. Perhaps his journey to Sumeru, the land of wisdom, would grant him some more insight for your resurrection.

Pulcinella:

It was just after your funeral. Surprisingly, all the Harbingers had gathered too. It seemed like they had grown somewhat fond of you after Pulcinella introduced you to them, at least enough to attend your funeral. Pulcinella was grateful. He had spoken a few words in memory of you. He couldn’t keep everyone for long. They had other matters to attend to. But in his heart, he had a lot of dear words for you.

Pulcinella sat down at his desk, deciding to do some paperwork to distract his mind. He pulled out the drawer to retrieve some items but he noticed a piece of paper stuffed to the back of it. He certainly had not put that there. He reached for it and opened it to read the contents.

Hey Papanella,

Do you like that nickname I came up with? I haven’t said it to you yet because I’m not sure how you’ll react. But I think it’s pretty cute. I haven’t said this out loud yet either but… um, I guess you’re like my dad to me. My own parents never cared much for me after my illness proved to be too much work, but you always treated me so kindly. So yeah. Thanks for being a father figure to me. Archons, this is kind of embarrassing.

I’m admitting this because I don’t know how much longer I have. I know you’re always encouraging me to keep living on, and I really do appreciate it. I’m sincerely trying my best, but I think my sickness has been getting worse. Ah, and thanks for introducing me to the Harbingers. They’re pretty scary but they’re kind of cool when you get to know them. Some of them are cute too. Please don’t tell them I said that. But really, for the longest time, I thought my life would amount to nothing, and that no one would remember me. But you proved me wrong. I truly enjoyed spending the last of my days doing old people stuff with you (just kidding of course!)

I’m going to ask you to tell me lots of more stories when I see you again. They really make my day. I like the ones about you in your youth the best. They’re the funniest. Anyway, I love you, gramps. Don’t miss me too much.

Pulcinella was old. He had seen things be built and broken down, people come and go. But he always hated it the most when he had to see youngsters go before he did. Especially innocent ones who had done nothing wrong. He just prayed, that whichever world you were in now, treated you better than this one did.

Scaramouche:

Ever since your death, the soldiers had been on the receiving end of Scaramouche’s insults even more. No longer were you here to hastily save them from his berating, much to their dismay. They actually appreciated you for stopping Scaramouche from giving them another verbal (and sometimes even physical) beating. But now if he wasn’t yelling at someone, he was deathly silent, which was why even scarier than his words. Everyone knew they were forbidden from speaking about you in his presence.

When Scaramouche had to visit Inazuma for whatever reason, he always found himself walking towards your house. Once he had came across the Tenryou Commission moving your items out of your house, due to no one living there anymore and the want for someone else to buy it. Needless to say, he swiftly dealt with them and sent them on their way with rage. They had tried a few more times and he did not hold back, until later they stopped coming, apparently after the head shrine maiden gave an order on the behalf of the Shogun to leave the residence alone. Hmph.

He doesn’t know why he keeps coming here, the only thing that’s different is the new collection of dust on the dresser. But the want to see you again keeps calling him, only to leave Scaramouche sorely disappointed. He thinks he knows every nook and cranny of your house, that is until he walks on a floorboard that caves in and nearly makes him fall. He’s about to lose his temper until he sees a piece of paper hidden under the floor. The words die in his throat as he picks it up to inspect.

To my beloved Kunikuzushi,

As I write this, you’re probably yelling at some unfortunate Fatui soul and they’re all trembling in their boots. Haha, I wish I was there to see that. You should be nicer, you know. But it is kinda funny to see you mad. I hope you come back soon… it’s getting too quiet around here without your quips and remarks.

But I know as you read this, I’m no longer alive. Kuni, I… (There are wrinkled spots around this area, presumably from your tears.)

I love you, and I don’t want rage and hatred to consume you again. I’m sorry to make your heart bear such pain again. It may be fruitless to say this, but please don’t blame yourself… it was out of our control. Please know I enjoyed every moment with you, whether you were cursing at some guy who bumped into me, even when you teased me relentlessly, or silently crying in my arms about your fate. But my favorite part was your soft smiles which grew more frequent. You are loved very much by me too. I want to see you smile more, many more times before I- (The rest of the sentence was scribbled over with a pen, making it unreadable.)

I wish I didn’t have to depart so soon… I wish I was born someone else, someone more strong and healthier… if I was, would our story be different, Kuni? Perhaps we’ll meet again one day… hopefully, sooner rather than later, and maybe I won’t be the same as I am now, but…

Will you wait for me, Kunikuzushi?

Scaramouche hated when he cried. He felt weak, stupid, and disgusting, especially when you were there. And somehow, he couldn’t help but feel worse than that when he finished reading your letter. He was never favored by the Gods, having been betrayed by one already. It seemed as though he was always fated to be betrayed by people he cared about. But he knew deep down that you didn’t betray him, he did instead by not being able to protect and save you. In an effort to bury his despair, anger, and grief, he would wipe himself clean of foolish human emotions, ready to ascend to godhood with his creator’s Gnosis…

Arlecchino:

Arlecchino’s days had been exactly the same ever since your death. They were the same as before she had met you too. Bland. Boring. Dull. It was after your passing that she truly realized how much your presence had added some thrill and color into her life. Now they were empty. But she was used to that. She had felt that way for a long time.

Arlecchino didn’t do much in her room besides sleep. Her room wasn’t anything special, just the standard and rich master bedroom. That was, until you took it upon yourself to decorate it. She hadn’t bothered to change it despite the style being very much different from hers. Today she had come in briefly to retrieve some documents under her bed. But, there was a random piece of paper there, collected dust on top of it, most likely from being placed there a long time ago. Arlecchino opened the folded paper and was greeted with your handwriting.

To my sunshine,

I bet you’re wondering why the hell I chose “sunshine” of all names. Even I can admit that you are nothing like sunshine. But I wanted to spice things up a bit, and to be honest, you bring a lot of sunshine into my heart and dreary little life, despite your stone-cold face. So yeah! I don’t think I can call you that to your face though. It’d be too scary.

I didn’t tell you, but I’ve had some people ask me why I chose to stay with you despite my health being what it is. My answer is always very easy - I love you, Arlecchino. Plain and simple. They don’t know how you are with me (which I’m kinda glad for… I want to keep this side of you to myself; yes, I know I’m greedy.) The way your lips quirk up for a split second then always turn downwards because you don’t want anyone to see. The way your eyes soften for a bit when I tell a corny joke. Or when I do anything actually. Your facial expressions are pretty cute.

Ahem, moving on from that, I guess you can say that I’m not too scared to say these things because I might be leaving you soon. Not of my free will, of course. Rather, it seems like the time my illness is allowing me to live is limited. Hopefully, you don’t notice anything off about me. I don’t think I could explain all of this in person…

But I am really thankful to you for sticking by my side for so long. Even though you don’t tell me, I know sometimes you lament about your lack of ability to be verbally and affectionately comforting. But I hope you know that I don’t really care about that. You are more than enough for me. You’ve done a lot more than you think. I’m forever appreciative, my dear.

Arlecchino was left speechless, the usual bite in her throat died down. As someone who had few kind words to say to others, having such sweetness directed at her was not something she was used to. But of course, a part of her wasn’t surprised, because the only person who’d utter such things was you. It pained her, and even the children who cried after your death, greatly. But whenever she needed a reminder of you, she would uncharacteristically gently trace her fingertips over the words of your letter.

La Signora:

Everyone knew to stay out of La Signora’s way after your death. She was cruel before, but your passing seemed to reignite all the flames of anguish and hatred she harbored deep inside her broken heart. Once again, her walls had been put up to be unbreakable.

Rosalyne had gifted you a lot of makeup and accessories. She liked to experiment on you and liked it when you tried it yourself too. You had kept everything in a nice big box so nothing would get lost. One day she felt drawn to it again. She knew she was missing you dearly again, and although opening it would just cause her heartache, she couldn’t help but pry it open to see how you kept it. But on top was a hastily folded letter, stained a bit by the surrounding makeup, tucked into a small compartment. She flipped it open and began to scan the contents.

My dearest Rosalyne,

Hello there, pretty lady. You know, that’s the first thing I thought when I saw you. Tall pretty lady. Did you know that? Now you do. Anyway, I was wondering - how many of your flame moths can you create at a time?? Can you make them form a heart or something?

Haha, I’m sorry for beating around the bush. The truth is I don’t know how much longer I have left. No matter how much warmth your moths provide me, for some reason, I always feel the chill of death creeping up my spine…

I don’t mean to be your second heartbreak. I’m really sorry… you deserve so much better than that. But for what it’s worth, you made my life a lot better than it was before. I hadn’t had much confidence in myself because of my illness for a long time. But you, Rosalyne… you made me feel like an actual person, as strange as that sounds. I feel like, when I’m with you, you make me feel so loved and special. I’m far from it but I actually feel like royalty. And royalty is really a life worth living. I don’t even know how you did it, but thank you. My life is so, so much happier thanks to you.

Hopefully, I make it a lot longer after I’m writing this letter. Maybe the Gods could finally take pity on me and give me some kind of blessing so I can stay with you longer. But if anything happens, I really, truly love you, Rosalyne. (The end of the letter has an origami moth colored in and taped to it.)

Signora’s hand trembled as she finished your letter. Her heart had returned to being ice, but it felt like her whole body was being swallowed up in red-hot grief and anger. Signora would dedicate herself solely to the Tsaritsa’s noble dream. It was the only thing she could do now, with nothing else to do and no one left for her freezing heart to love. No one could ever hope to understand the grief and pain she’s been through. Perhaps, that was why when she stood in front of the Raiden Shogun’s sword, she did not feel much regret.

Pantalone:

Whenever Pantalone went out, he often found himself looking through the windows of many stores to view their products. It was almost an instinct to pull out a large sum of Mora to buy anything he thought you’d like. And he still did this, only that he stopped halfway every time when he remembered that you were no longer with him. And his heart felt painfully heavy once again, like how heavy his smile felt with the pressure to keep it up.

The silence of his office had become a norm once again, your joyful presence no longer around to brighten it up. Pantalone opted to drown himself in paperwork to ignore it. Actually, he never realized how much the tick of the grandfather clock bothered him until now. Usually, your voice was loud enough to hide it. He sighed and reached for the bottom drawer to get some new pens to sign the documents. But his eyes widened as he saw a paper clearly laid out there, addressed to him at the top. His heart beat quickened as he carefully picked it up and realized it was from you. It seemed like you had experimented with some fancy calligraphy pens he had gotten you a while ago. And you had also stolen every stamp you had from him and stamped all over the paper.

Darling,

Hello, my love. Sorry for all the random stamps. I wanted to see what they looked like. Why does the Fatui need so many different-shaped stamps? You should make one of us, actually. And do you see I’ve been practicing my cursive script? (Indeed, on the back on the paper, your name has been signed in different styles.) I’ve been trying to do my signature all fancy like you. Hopefully, I’m improving.

I am thinking to make you read me a bedtime story tonight. I found a new one that seemed pretty cute. It’s a commoner falling in love with a nobleman… a tale of forbidden romance. It seems to go fine, until the commoner s/cc/mbs to (It seems that you scratched off the rest of the sentence.) Actually, I won’t spoil the ending for you. But by the time you read this letter, we may have finished it already. I’m just going to abuse that pretty voice of yours as much as I can (kidding of course… but no joke. Have you tried some kind of service where you just read things to people? I think you’d make a lot of money from that. I sure would give all my life savings to you.)

I guess since I’m writing this, I should say another thing I’m thinking about. I’m not sure how much longer I can hang on. I’m trying my best because I don’t want to let you down. I know you’ve been trying your best, with all these fancy doctors and equipment, but um… yeah. But I should also say that I’m not regretful having spent my time with you. You made the last days of my life so relaxing, so stress-free, so… nice. I’m glad I don’t need to worry about anything with you. Let’s move on from this, actually.

I’m thinking of a lot of things, actually. I wonder what you made the chef prepare for us tonight. Mhm… I’m getting hungry. Will you feed me dessert again too? Hah, I’m going to miss thinking about such mundane things. Hmm, I think I can hear your voice down the hall, so I’ll wrap this up. I love you.

Pantalone gazed at your words forlornly, his mouth formed into a downwards line. He had never thought the loss of something besides Mora could squeeze his heart so painfully, but here you were, making his eyes sting once again. Blinking back any tears, he made sure to store your letter in a safe place. He made a note to visit your grave today. He’d bring your favorite snack too, and read you a story perhaps.

Sandrone:

It was almost ironic - the puppet master had become a puppet herself. She didn’t speak much to others anymore, choosing to lock herself up in her lab. A part of her debated making some kind of robot or doll replica of you. But it would never be the same. She wouldn’t feel your warmth, or your natural, free laugh. Nothing would be similar.

Sandrone had begun inspections on all of her created robots. It was a grueling process she had gotten used to, but she missed the chirping of your voice as she did so. She worked in silence, opening the compartment of one of them when she was caught off guard by a formerly white paper, caked in dust, inside. The only person who had access to her Automatons was you. So could it possibly be…?

My forever,

I’m actually writing this in the same room as you. You're too preoccupied with your robot building and engineering and all that stuff, so you don’t notice me rushing to write all of this. I’ll make this quick. Actually, it’s hard to concentrate when you look so pretty and intelligent. Ahh, I’m so lucky to have you with me.

I think you’re repairing one of your robots so it can lift us up and take us on a walk. I’m excited. Those are always so much fun. I know you aren’t a sappy person. But I want to make my feelings clear, since I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to watch you unscrew some bolts and hammer down the nails. I don’t need to say it outright, do I? We both know I’ve been getting worse. Neither of us wants to say it out loud, but it’s reality.

Before I go, let me make it clear, since I know you like being blunt. You are my everything. Seeing your cute little robots send me these cute little messages really made my day. I think you told me a long time ago that you didn’t care much about human emotions. I think that’s changed now. I love waking up to see that calm and content expression on your face and watching it become a bit more softer when you see me. You’re more human than you think, you know. Some people think that being cooped up in a lab with a Harbinger is not an ideal way to live. But I beg to differ. I would choose no other way to live as long as I’m with you, Sandrone.

I think you’re finished with your tinkering. I’m going to have one of the robots hide this paper in them. I think some of them like me better than you >:) I wonder how long it’ll be until you find it. Hopefully, you don’t find it too quickly because it’ll be awkward to explain this to you. Either way… I love you dearly, Sandrone.

Sandrone gently brushed off the dust on your letter. She wished she found it sooner. She didn’t know whether it was good or bad her heart was finally feeling some emotion again, but she was grateful to have some final parting words from you. Sandrone had a bubble of inspiration float up in her. She had a good idea of what she was going to build next.

Childe:

Childe had found it after he was cleaning out your apartment in Liyue. He wanted to bring all of your stuff to his home in Snezhnaya. No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t throw any of your items away, even the random useless trinkets. Childe’s chest felt hollow as he opened the door to your residence. He expected to see your face brighten and eagerly pull yourself out of bed to hug him. He’d easily lift you off the floor and spin you around, drinking in your gleeful giggles as he pressed his lips to yours. But now it was just the creak of the floorboards as he walked in.

Childe had a memory connected to every piece of clothing that you had. That one he gifted to you for your birthday. Another he remembered twirling you around in on a picnic. One of his sweaters that he doesn't remember you stealing from him, mingled with your scent and his. Archons, his chest hurt so badly, but there was nothing he could do as he neatly placed your items in boxes, emptiness consuming him. He was finishing up the packing when a piece of paper folded in half fell out of one of your pants’ pockets. Childe picked it up and his eyes widened when he recognized your handwriting and his real name. Sitting down on your bed, he began to read.

To my one and only Ajax,

My greatest wish is that you’ll never find and read this letter because it means that we’re living our best lives. We’re happy, content, still deeply in love with each other… living in bliss.

But if you’re reading this, then we probably didn’t go and do all of the cool and exciting things you wanted us to. I didn’t move to Sneznhnaya and I didn’t meet the rest of your family. We didn’t go travel to all the nations like you wanted to…

Heh, that’s too bad. I was really looking forward to seeing the same sights you saw on your travels. The pretty bloom of Inazuma’s sakura trees, the beautiful snow-covered streets of Snezhnaya. Remember that time you asked me if I wanted to conquer the world with you? Of course, since I can’t ever say no to you, I accepted your proposition. But in my head, I couldn’t help but think that you should probably choose someone who can match your ability and someone who is act/a/ly g/i/g to b/ ali/e. (The previous words have been haphazardly erased, making it hard to make out.)

You know I… (The ink here has bled through the paper, most likely due to you stopping there for a good while.) I don’t even know what to say, I’m just sorry. I don’t wanna leave you, I wanna be by your side forever, wanna be attacked by your cuddles every day. But the only thing I can do now is to make sure you understand that I’m truly grateful for you. No one else has ever cared about me as much as you did. You never stopped believing in me and always smiled when I needed you. You made my feeble life worth living.

Please don’t be sad. Teucer and the rest of your siblings need you. I love you so very much…

He didn’t realize how hard he was digging his fingernails into his skin until he started bleeding through the paper. Childe had been through endless battles, and fought countless enemies, but no wound had ever burned as badly as his heart did right now. Even in the Abyss, he did not feel as bottomless of despair as he felt right now. He wanted to hold you again too, Childe thought. He wanted to kiss you all over and show you how much he loved you. But you were gone, and the letter just solidified it more. He laid down on your bed, hand covering his forehead as he stared blankly at your ceiling. Biting down on his lip hard, he tried to prevent tears from flowing again. He would just go back to being the Tsarista’s weapon again, drowning himself in battle and blood just to feel something after your death.

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bluebeary-jay · 1 year

Text

Reason

(Joel Miller x Reader)

Summary: things go wrong when you try to cross a small city. joel almost gets himself killed and you finally confront him about why he never seems to trust you with anything

Tags: angst and fluff, probably a little ooc, a bit of humor, love confession

Warnings: mentions of violence and wounds (but nothing very graphic), age gap, swearing

Word count: 3.8K

A/N: this is my first fic ever published so i'm kinda nervous but i couldn't stop thinking about this guy. english is not my first language so excuse any mistakes. hope you enjoy <3

Joel was acting like nothing was wrong.

Which wasn't exactly anything new, really. Ever since you knew the man, he always had this rough exterior, that ‘do not fuck with me’ aura around him, and was never, ever, one for showing emotions.

Back in the QZ, when he and Tess sometimes let you hang along with them to get a job done or sneak into the restricted territory, you saw how he burst, pent-up and concealed emotions spilling out of him at long last when something went horribly wrong. He had never aimed his yells at you, though, even when it was clearly your fault that someone noticed you or you fucked up your part of the job.

Just like today. You weren't exactly to blame this time – something heavy fell over around the corner of the building you were sneaking by, and the thug looking for you three spotted you as you were ducking behind a car. Shit like that often happened when you had to work in the ruins of the old world.

Then you got separated from Ellie and Joel when the gang shot at you. All of you saw before that the street was blocked and you were practically surrounded. You barked at the pair to get out of here and that you’ll join them later, and ran in the direction of the ravaged stores, hoping to find a way around the blockade.

You remembered bullets firing at you and missing your head by centimeters. You remembered shooting and killing some of the guys chasing you, then screaming when you bumped into one of them and they grabbed you. The kicks to your stomach, the struggle, some nasty comments made by the thugs before you managed to stab one of them through the cheek. You remembered faces contorted in fury and a man lifting a gun to your head.

In that brief moment, you were glad it was you who was about to die. Better you than–

The man who was about to shoot you dropped his pistol after a loud bang pierced the air and he fell to the ground, dead. Others were soon to follow, too slow in drawing their own guns. It was Joel, of course, all bloodied and livid, blasting a head after head of the guys who were trying to hurt you. You were pinned face down to the floor and couldn’t do anything but watch as he fought them with only his knife and bare hands, as the corridor he was in was too narrow to make use of the gun without it catching on a wall or his clothes. You struggled and tried to break free, unable to bear the sight of the men’s blood mixing with his own from the growing number of cuts on his skin.

The thug holding you down apparently decided to finish you off, but didn’t have a chance before Joel tackled him to the ground, receiving another long gash below his ribs. For one terrifying moment you were sure he was stabbed in the chest and your whole world stopped. But the grunts and curses coming from the spot where Joel was knocked down on the ground quickly told you that he was fine.

You saved Joel just in time, driving a sharp shard of metal into his attacker's neck. After that the older man quickly looked you over, asking if you were hurt, and when you told him no, he grabbed your arm and led you to where Ellie was waiting.

All of you managed to get out and it didn’t seem like the gang was following you anymore. Excluding a couple of cuts and scrapes you all were fine and alive, which had to be a goddamn miracle.

That didn’t mean you weren’t absolutely furious.

Joel knew it and you suspected that’s why he was so insistent about walking in total silence, sending you and Ellie angry glares every time either of you opened your mouth. You were shooting daggers at his back as he walked in the front and even Ellie had to sense the tense atmosphere, for she was unusually quiet.

You knew Joel Miller was a protector at heart. That, among other things, was what made you care for him more than anyone else in your life, more than you’d care for a companion or even a friend. His caring, gentle nature hidden from the world under the rough exterior was what ultimately made you fall for him.

But no matter how attractive and admirable you found him, it drove you up the fucking wall that he never listened to you, never let you do anything even slightly risky or dangerous, like he always expected you to mess up. He didn’t even want you to sneak outside the QZ with him and Tess, and it was the other woman who finally convinced him.

You hated the thought that he might see you as a daughter, or worse - a burden. But the age gap between you two seemed bigger and bigger every time he did something like that, going after you because he didn’t trust you to get the job done.

And you hated it.

Only when the place you’ll spend the night in was picked and Joel took off his backpack with a wince of pain, you marched over to him and shoved his chest in frustration. Even though he was tired and hurt, he still towered over you and was much heavier, which made taking your anger out on him extremely difficult.

“The hell you're doing?” he asked incredulously, looking almost surprised at the fury painting your face.

“Don’t you ever think about doing something like that again, Joel!” you yelled at him, knowing you’re too far for any unwanted ears to hear you screaming. “I fucking told you to take Ellie and run! Why the hell did you come back?!”

“You’d prefer me to leave you behind and let those bastards do whatever sick things they wanted to do? A ‘thank you’ would be nice.”

Okay, now you were seething. You clenched your jaw and pushed him again, feeling honestly so fed up with his bullshit.

“Why don’t you ever listen to me?! You almost fucking died, not to mention you put Ellie in danger, too!”

“Hey, I was safe!” Ellie chimed in, straightening from the place she was sitting in on her sleeping bag. “And there wasn’t actually–”

“Ellie,” Joel cut her short harshly, making it clear it’s not the time for her usual sarcasm. She rolled her eyes and muttered something about grumpy old men, turning their back to them.

You huffed and turned around, going deeper into the woods. Joel said your name but when you didn’t react he went after you with long strides, grabbing your arm and halting you.

“Will you tell me what’s going on?”

“You know damn well what’s going on!” You yanked your arm out of his grasp. “I told you to go and you didn’t listen, like always, and probably had to hack your way through the whole group of these idiots just to almost get yourself killed because of me!”

“Did you really expect me to leave you behind?” he asked with his voice raised.

“Yes! At that moment it wasn’t about me, I was thinking about Ellie and you! She’s way more important than I am! You’re more important!”

“Don’t you dare say somethin–”

“Do you think I’d be able to take Ellie across the country without getting any of us killed?!” You threw your hand to the side, huffing with anger. “I don’t have your skills and experience. You’re the only one able to handle it on your own, so if any of us is to die, it will be me, no questions asked.”

“Like hell it’ll be you!” He was seething now, too, and he came up to you in two long, angry strides, stopping just before he could stomp on your shoes. Suddenly you two were so close that you could feel his breath on your face. “I am not fucking letting you get yourself killed! Not now and not ever.”

“Can’t you just think logically for a second?!” you shouted in his face, tears of rage and helplessness gathering in your eyes. “I’m a goddamn burden to you both! Yes, it was me who alerted them of our presence and I understand that’s probably why you never trusted me…” Actually saying those words out loud was more painful than you anticipated and you had to take a deep breath to calm yourself down. “It’s just, I can’t fight like you can, I’m not as valuable as Ellie, I…”

You had to press your lips together not to sob accidentally. Although you knew you had to make your point across, you still didn’t want Joel to see how weak you actually are.

“But I’m not fucking useless, understand?” you said sternly, looking him dead in the eyes. “I am gonna help you both go as far as possible, but if we’re ever in that kind of situation again, you’re leaving me behind and I’m buying you and Ellie as much time as I can.”

His expression hardened and he started to shake his head, but you beat him to it.

“I know you never wanted me to go on any missions with you, but just once let me be useful, alright? Even if all I can do is buy you a couple of precious minutes.”

“By letting yourself die.”

He said it with such finality and disbelief, all your anger got swept off and replaced by weariness. You sighed heavily and leaned against a tree.

“Yes, Joel. I know you’d rather not lose anyone else, but if I have a chance to help those I care about…” You realized you said too much and shook your head. “I don’t understand why it is such a big deal for you.”

He opened his mouth, then closed it again. His warm brown eyes were on you and for the first time ever you wished he'd look away. You turned your head and sighed again.

God, you were so very tired.

“I’m going to look for some firewood. You go check if the place is safe, alright?”

“No, listen–”

“Just this once, Joel,” you cut him off, not turning around. The tears that have gathered in your eyes before were threatening to spill down your cheeks and you weren’t going to show him how much this situation has pained you. “Just this once, drop it. Please.”

This time he didn’t stop you when you wandered further away from the camp and you truthfully didn’t know if it was better or worse.

*****

The rest of the evening went by mostly in silence. Ellie tried to lighten up the mood by reading some bad jokes from her book and though Joel was his usual grumpy self, it actually helped you a little. The girl seemed pretty proud of herself about making you crack a smile, but her efforts to bring Joel into the conversation came to naught. The smile disappeared from your face every time your eyes met and he looked away.

He almost didn’t say a word throughout your meal and preparing for bed, only muttering something under his breath when Ellie told you both goodnight. You were so tired that you managed to fall asleep almost immediately despite the worry and sadness gnawing at you when your thoughts drifted to the man laying on the opposite side of the fire.

When you opened your eyes again, the dawn was only just breaking. The air was cold and crisp, and you groaned, shivering and pulling your coat tighter around yourself, only to realize something else was draped over your form.

You rubbed your eyes and noticed the familiar green jacket covering your torso. Its owner was a couple of feet away, sitting with his back to you on a big log. The rifle lay next to him, propped up against the fallen tree. Your shoulders slumped at the sight of him and you remembered your argument from last night. You almost laid back down, but ignoring his act of kindness felt wrong, so with a quiet sigh you stood up, making your way to where he was sitting.

Joel glanced to the side when you approached and his gaze was instantly drawn to his jacket you wrapped around yourself.

“You were shivering,” he muttered, apparently knowing what you were about to ask. He said it as if giving you his jacket was the most sensible thing to do in a situation like that.

Was that an attempt to say he’s sorry for how he reacted earlier? You decided not to question his intentions too much and instead sat down next to him, nailing your eyes on the patch of recently disturbed ground.

“Thanks,” you replied under your breath, still not looking at the man. “But you didn’t have to. You’re probably cold now.”

“M’not.”

Liar. Stubborn as always.

None of you said anything else for a long time. You contemplated whether you should just go back to your sleeping bag and leave his jacket on the log, or stay and try to defuse the tension between you two. Somehow neither of these options appealed to you but it was so difficult to just sit here in silence and–

“I’ve been thinkin' about what you said,” Joel spoke up suddenly and very quietly, which interrupted your dwelling. “And I couldn’t stop remembering how damn sure you sounded when you said I don’t trust you.”

A wave of uneasiness washed over you and you wrapped his jacket tighter around yourself. “It’s okay that you don’t,” you said slowly, not really sure what he was getting at. “I mean, I’m not sure if even I would trust my–”

“That’s the thing,” he interrupted you with an irritated sigh and turned his head to look at you with his brows furrowed. “I do trust you. I just have no clue how…” Another sigh. “How I could’ve fucked up so badly that you’d think that.”

You blinked several times, not sure if you weren’t still dreaming after all. It kind of felt like a dream when he was sitting so close to you, his jacket around your shoulders and a rising sun painting his hair in a golden light.

“But you never let me do anything important or dangerous on my own,” you contradicted quietly, which caused Joel to drop his head loosely and close his eyes. “You’re always against taking me with you anywhere, and–”

“That’s because you’re important to me!” he cut you off, evidently louder than he intended, because he immediately glanced at you and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Sorry,” he muttered. “It’s just hard for me to understand how… how did…”

Joel seemed at a loss for words and you longed to touch him, to take the burden of carrying the conversation from his shoulders and ease the weariness on his face, but you weren't really sure what he intended to say. You didn’t want to get your hopes up, but it almost sounded like…

“I can’t bear the thought of losing you,” he said softly at last and you could pinpoint the exact moment you stopped breathing. Joel’s eyes were closed and he was propping his forehead on his hand, and he looked so… sad. “That’s why I never wanted you to take any risk, because if something happened to you and I weren’t there to protect you…”

He swallowed heavily, inhaled, then straightened up and looked over at you. The look he gave you was so tender and open, it was almost difficult to focus on his words.

“I care about you, too,” he whispered, and you remembered what slipped out of your mouth when you were arguing earlier. “A lot. Much more than I should, but I can’t… I can’t help it.” He turned to look forward, his eyes narrowing from the sunlight creeping from between the trees, and he looked so beautiful in that moment, you wished you had a camera on hand.

“Joel,” you breathed, but he shook his head.

“I didn’t want to make shit weird between… us.” He waved his hand in a vague gesture. “So don’t feel pressured into sayin’ anything. Just don’t expect me to idly stand by while you’re risking your life because–”

“Joel,” you repeated, louder this time, which finally made him shut up.

“What?”

You didn’t really know what you were going to say. You just wanted him to stop talking because he was only torturing himself with this ramble and you couldn’t bear it.

Very slowly, and very gently, you took Joel’s hand in your own and moved it over to your lap. Ignoring his eyes on you, you traced the length of his calloused fingers and brushed the center of the palm where a cut from a couple of days ago was still healing. Your heart was beating so damn loud in your ears, you wouldn’t hear if a parade of clickers just walked past you both, but with all your might you tried to keep your breathing steady and your face from going beet red.

He said you were important to him. That he couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. He didn’t see you as a burden as you feared, so maybe… maybe he didn’t view you as a kid, as well.

Throwing all caution to the wind, you laced your fingers together and brought them to your lips, leaving a small kiss on his bloodied knuckles. Joel tensed in a split second and you weren't sure if he was still breathing, but you didn’t look at him in fear that his expression may take away the remnants of your temporary courage.

“If I misread you, this is gonna be painfully awkward,” you mumbled in a feeble attempt to defuse the tension in the air, so thick it was almost choking you. “But I’m still grateful you told me all thi–”

His other hand – the same hand he was ready to kill and protect with, with which he was ready to tear his way through the mass of enemies just to save you – lifted itself to your face and cupped your cheek. Joel was looking at you with wonder, the fingers you cradled in your own twitching slightly as if he was holding back from tightening his hold. His eyes seemed like they were made out of liquid gold in the light of the morning sun and he looked at you with such adoration that you once again humored the thought that it was just all some cruel, vivid dream.

But no, it couldn’t have been. Not when Joel’s skin was so cold against your burning face and not when his eyes flickered to your lips…

It was you who leaned in first, but once your lips touched, Joel took the reins, untangling his fingers from yours to wrap his arm around your waist and pull you closer.

You expected him to be rough and confident, just like he was during a fight, to take what he wanted and devour you – at least that’s how you always imagined kissing him would be like. What you didn’t expect, however, was a trembling sigh that escaped him when you two parted for a moment to take a breath and a gentle touch of his fingertips along your jaw. His hold on your body was by turns firmer and more loose, like he was afraid he’d scare you off if he let himself use too much strength.

You, on the other hand, had no reservations in taking his face in your hands firmly and parting your lips, encouraging him to go on. It seemed to work at first, because Joel pulled you in even closer, letting you crawl onto his lap, but then he stopped abruptly and moved you gently away, still keeping his hands on both sides of your face.

“Darlin’, I need to know if you’re sure about this, because I won’t be able to…”

You pressed your lips to his again, this time much slower and more delicate, in an attempt to silence him. Joel finally relaxed when you cupped his face and planted a kiss on his brow, always so furrowed in concern and worry.

“Joel, I wanted you to kiss me for the whole time I knew you. I really, really care about your bullheaded skull.” You looked down at him with a playful smile, to which he chuckled. “Though you’re shit at sending signals. I was sure you hated me.”

“Well, you are hard to deal with sometimes,” he mused in a teasing tone and you jabbed him in the stomach before he managed to grab your wrist. “But I… I'm sorry that I made you feel this way. Like you didn’t matter to me.”

You furrowed your brows at the uncharacteristic vulnerability and sadness in his voice and your worry must’ve etched itself in your eyes because when Joel looked at you, he turned away and closed his eyes immediately.

“Listen, you know now you matter to me more than anyone else in this cursed world. I don’t want to ever be as worried sick about you like I was yesterday,” he whispered. You brushed some hair off his face and the creases on his forehead softened a little. “And I don’t ever want you to think you’re not important. You’re… fuck, you’re the goddamn reason I’m doing all this. You're my reason, you hear me?”

You just nodded with a wide smile that threatened to split your face in half.

“I understand,” you answered, just as quietly. “You’re also the reason I’m doing all of this for.”

This time it was unclear who initiated the kiss. Nevertheless, you ended up held tightly in his arms, marveling at his touch on your skin and the feeling of his chapped lips on yours, and there wasn’t any other place you wished to be in.

It lasted just a couple of seconds though, because you were interrupted by the sound of fake barfing and gurgles of disgust coming from the direction of your camp.

“Gross!” yelled Ellie loudly, but she had a shit-eating grin on her face when she squinted at Joel holding you in his lap. “Don’t suck faces when there are children present!”

“Shut up!” Joel yelled back, but without any bite in his tone. A soft smile played on his lips when he looked back at you. “She’ll be insufferable now,” he murmured and you snorted at how done he sounded. He mirrored your expression and held your hand to his face to kiss your fingers tenderly, which made Ellie gag even louder.

“If you start making out in front of me, I won’t hesitate to throw a fucking sandwich at you!”

“She won’t,” muttered Joel, not even turning to the teen before he leaned in and kissed you slowly again.

You smiled into the kiss, barely noticing stale pieces of bread flying over Joel’s shoulder.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #the last of us #tlou hbo #joel tlou #joel miller #featuring our badass queen #ellie williams #the last of us fic #joel miller x y/n #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #beary writes

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runningfrom2am · 4 months

Text

cold nights // part ten

summary: may the odds be ever in your favour.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.3k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, r is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: playlist coming v soon!!

series masterlist // playlist

Coriolanus lets out a scream of anger as he pulls the weight of the cement block down on the boy again, dishing out every last bit of rage he had over the inconvenience he had caused. He had to. He was sure the tribute was already dead, but one more hit couldn't hurt- not when he needed to make sure he was really done; not when it felt so powerful the first time.

He's breathing heavily, staring down at the body in front of him with his curls falling in his face, preventing him from seeing reality. Shielding him from seeing you.

You open your mouth to speak, but you can't. To ask if he's okay, but clearly he is- that final blow was too late to be a hit out of desperation, panic, or pain. It was pure, unnecessary retaliation. It went against everything you stood for. Everything you said.

Coriolanus was Coriolanus indeed; you could see it in the darkness that suddenly appeared behind his eyes. It was like he had done it for fun.

He looks up only when you take a step back, shoe crunching over the rubble underneath your sole and alerting him to your presence.

"Y/N-"

You look between the boy you thought you knew and the battered body on the ground. You take another hasty step back.

The power he thought he felt was replaced instantly by guilt when he saw the look on your face. He wasn't sure your kind features were even capable of showing an emotion so abrasive as disgust- but that was all he could think of to describe what he had to guess was going on behind your eyes. Betrayal, maybe. Horror, even, at something he had done. He moves to take a step toward you, dropping the metal rod in his hand so maybe you'd give him the chance to explain but you were taking off like a bird in the street threatened by a moving car the second he moved a muscle. He freezes, hand extended toward you despite you being too far to reach.

You were scared. Of him.

He very quickly had more pressing matters than your understanding or coping with the idea that you had run from him since he was now hearing the war cry of Coral and her pack as they ran from the tunnels toward the exit he was standing under.

He was grateful you had fled before that, hoping they didn't see you before you hid away again. He hops back over the gate, grabbing Sejanus and forcing him through the front entrance just in time.

"For Coriolanus, when I am gone."

He reads over the words on the outside of the intricately folded note over and over again, sitting at his desk and trying to ignore the stitches pulling at his back. Sejanus had given the note to him when he was discharged from the hospital. A note from you. It was a goodbye, he knew it. Something about your delicate handwriting on the outside felt so sacred to him.

"My Dearest Corio,

For once, I cannot express with words what I need to say to you. Regrettably, Sejanus is waiting so I must find something to say soon. I'll begin with thank you. You told me not to thank you until you had done something for me, but what you didn't understand was that you already had. Having a friend at the end has meant the world to me. I wish I could tell my family about you. When I can't sleep at night, I think of how much they would love you, and how we could sit together in the field at night and look at the stars. I hope one day you get to see them.

I apologize that I have to ask one more thing of you. I admit, I do not know how your mentorship works, but I hope with all my heart that I have done enough for you to win your prize. I regret that I will never know. I'm sorry that you ended up with me, you deserved better. I feel like you weren't given a choice, though I know you would never admit that. I digress. All I ask is that you do not forget me. You don't have to feel guilt, or think of me all the time, I just hope you read Romeo and Juliet one day and guess which parts were my favourite. Or that if you're out on cold nights when the breeze chills your skin, you'll think of us. I also hope that is not too much to ask of you. I suppose, again, I will never know.

If I can take your position for a moment and mentor you; I have some advice I would like to offer. Be whatever you want to be, do what you want to do. Don't let anything or anyone stop you from being good. Your kindness, Corio, was not lost on me while I had the pleasure of knowing you. I've seen who you are, and I will never forget.

I must tell you posthumously that you are the closest thing to my own Romeo Montague I have been lucky enough to have in my life, but our story is different. You get to grow up, change, have a life, and fall in love. Please do. See the beauty in everything and do not let the cruelties of the world change the goodness in your soul.

"Alas, that love, so gentle in his view, Should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!"

With love and not nearly enough time,

Y/N

He couldn't resist unfolding the page in his hands and reading it. Every inch of the page was covered in your scrawled print, urgent from not wanting to keep Sejanus waiting for too long. You were still very much alive, but he was probably dead to you and he saw that in your eyes as you looked at him with nothing short of fear. He was supposed to be your Romeo, or at least you thought so when you wrote it. And he wanted that for you. He regrets so deeply that he took that perspective from you. It was a mistake- but maybe, if you won, you would see that for what it was and forgive him.

He wanted to crush up the note and throw it against the wall, tear it to shreds and light it on fire and burn away the fact he had ever met you, but he knew he didn't want to. It was all he would have left of you. He couldn't lose it, even if he hated himself for ruining what you could have had.

Instead, he folded it back up and put it on the shelf where his mother's compact once was before crawling into bed and crying until he finally passed out.

"You can explain it to her, Coryo. I know she will be reasonable." Tigris smiles sadly at him, helping him once again with his blazer following yet another back injury.

He hadn't said anything to trigger her sympathies this morning besides having puffy eyes in her presence. Though, the wall that separates their bedrooms is thin- it was likely that despite the muffling of his sheets, she had heard his cries. He had told her everything, he always did.

"Would you like me to come with you today? I can miss just one day of work, no harm will be done." His cousin offers. He wants to decline, her income is all they had, but if Coryo was being honest with himself, he needed someone in his corner.

"Okay." He agrees quietly and she smiles, patting the front of his uniform.

"I'll grab my things, can you wait a few moments?" She asks, already heading for her room.

"Of course." He nods. In another moment of self-honesty, he realizes he doesn't even want to go. But he had to be there. For you. If you had even survived the night.

When you decided there was enough daylight, you crawled back deeper into the vents. Seemingly you were safe there, if you had to guess it was almost noon and no one had bothered you. You were on your way to check on Jessup- that was a better use of your time than dwelling on what you witnessed last night and slipping deeper and deeper into a downward spiral.

You approach the grate in the vent you entered through, peeking in to see if he was still there. "Jessup?" You whisper, unable to see him. Worried when you get no response, you slide the cover off and hang your head out of it to look around. He was curled up against the wall across the room, and he looked distressed. Shaking, crying, skin ashen.

"Jessup?" You call toward him again, beginning to climb down to go check on him.

He's not responsive to you, not as you take a few hesitant steps closer. "Are you okay?"

His head snaps up to look at you. "Y/N?"

You smile a little, surprised he even remembered your name in his state. "Hi." You crouch down in front of him. "What do you need? Are you holding up okay?"

Again, no response.

"I'll get you some supplies." You whisper to him, knowing that if the microphones pick it up, Coryo would likely send you nothing when you emerge into the open area. He was very clear that you shouldn't share, but Jessup clearly needed help. He'd been down here for over a day without food or water, but now, you didn't know that you had anyone to help. You had Coryo and Sejanus, but now Sejanus hated you and Coryo was never who you thought he was. It had haunted you all night.

"I'll be back soon, okay?" You smile at Jessup reassuringly, standing and untying the scarf so you can get back up into the vents.

Coryo hadn't heard what you said to the boy, but when you reemerged from the vents after checking it was mostly clear, he knew what you were there for. It was decently safe, spare for Reaper who had collected and covered several bodies with a torn flag while you were gone. Making eye contact with him startles you, but you don't move. Neither does he. You give him a nod of understanding as he kneels next to the aboveground grave, which he returns. Lamina wasn't on her beam anymore, and that makes your heart clench. It took you a long time to get from one place to the next using the vents- anything could have happened in the time you weren't watching.

Now that you've established that you're safe, you look to the nearest camera with hopeful and tired eyes. Coryo knows you want to bring whatever he would send back down to Jessup.

He chews his lip, looking between you and the small screen in front of him. He shouldn't enable you to help another tribute, but it did look fruitless. Jessup was not well, not at all, and it would be a waste to even bother feeding him. At the same time, after what he had done last night, after what you witnessed, he would have to buy back your trust. Allowing you to help your friend is his only way to do that, at the moment. So he selects the water and sends it, followed by some bread.

You receive it, giving a weak, almost hesitant smile to the camera with the food and water tucked against your chest. "Thank you." He can only read your lips before you disappear again.

Climbing back out of the vent, this time with a water bottle and some bread in hand as you drop to the ground, you startle your friend. "Hey, Jessup." You say, raising your free hand to calm him. "I brought you something to eat."

You approach him carefully as he stares at you. You hold the items out to him, but he doesn't take them. "Do you want some help?" You offer, kneeling down in front of him. "Here," You tear off some of the bread and try to hand it to him. After not eating enough for so long, smaller pieces would probably be easier. "It may be a little dusty from the vent, but it's still good. You need to eat."

Then, without warning, he slaps the items out of your hand and shoves you back. "What did you do to it?!" He shouts as you fall back on your butt, quickly shuffling yourself back away from him.

"Nothing! Nothing, Jessup, shh, we gotta be quiet down here..." You try and calm him, still backing away.

"You're trying to kill me!" He yells, ignoring your pleas for him to be quiet, reaching for the now empty and broken water bottle that spilled out over the floor.

"I would never, I just want to help!" You try and assure him, standing up and backing away. Clearly, he doesn't want to talk as he's jumping at you, now with a weapon in hand.

You have to run. There's no time to get back into the vent, making a run for the door and throwing yourself through the hole at the bottom.

"Why would you do this?!" He shouts after you as you run down the halls of the tunnel, still trying to stay as quiet as possible through your heavy breathing. "What have you done?!"

"Lyssie- what is he doing?" Coryo asks his classmate next to him, thankful now that you are apparently such a fast runner.

"I- I don't know. He wouldn't betray her like this." She replies with a slight shake of her head, eyes glued to the screen.

"She's fast enough, but she can't get back in the vents while she's being chased." Coryo says, as if either of them could do anything, but he was as helpless as you were.

You slide to a halt in the long, rounded hallway when you see Coral round the corner in front of you. Jessup was sick, he wasn't fast, but you couldn't turn back. You were cornered, and there was nowhere to go but up. You look up, scanning the overhead vent system for a grate but see none. Turning quickly, you look along the ceiling toward Jessup as he makes his way toward you with the broken water bottle. You'd rather try your odds with him than Coral and the others.

Your eyes land on a grate just ahead of you as you hear footsteps and shouting closing in on you from both directions. With shaking hands you scramble to untie the scarf as you run back toward Jessup, throwing it back over the pipe and using all your strength to pull yourself up into the ceiling, hitting in the grate and pulling yourself inside. "Jessup, Jessup! Run! Hurry!" You try and urge him, but it's like he doesn't hear you, jumping to jab at you with the bottle. He misses, luckily, but Coral never does.

Coryo watches with bated breath while you struggle to pull yourself up, abandoning your friend to his fate. He cringes as he watches Jessup fall, the inflicted wounds being just hidden by Tanner's form and the buzzer goes off.

"Oh, and that's the end for Jessup as his district partner climbs into the ceiling!" Lucky's voice sounds distant to him. "Lysistrata, get out of here and Coriolanus, you may want to start packing your things as well."

He wouldn't budge. He's not packing a single thing until you're done taking your final breaths. Lyssie sighs and shakes her head, tears in her eyes as she pats Coryo's shoulder. "If this is it for her, I'm so sorry..." She apologizes before taking her leave.

Your heart is beating out of your chest as you pull yourself almost fully into the vent. You don't make it smoothly, though, crying out in pain as you feel the prongs of Coral's trident plunging into your calf. Your blood drips down your leg and on top of the other tributes as you finally make your way all the way in. You don't have time to feel any pain as you quickly crawl away. They know where you are, she could stab up into the vent just below you and catch you again- you had to find a way up farther.

"Y/N! We know where you've been hiding now, you're not safe in there!" Coral calls after you, and you have to ignore it as you slide through the metal tube, feeling it get slick from the blood pooling underneath you with every movement.

You don't hear them following you, though, so when you finally make it to where you can climb up to the next level, you feel a lot safer. Your chest is heaving as you sit up on the edge of the drop-down to the tunnels, just given enough room in the T intersection of the vents to take a breath and look at your leg.

You hiss as you lift your leg, assessing the puncture wounds. They wouldn't be fatal if you stopped the bleeding. You exhale shakily, pressing down on the flesh with your palms, pain shooting up your leg and into your back. You don't have anything to use to help besides the scarf, but it was Coryo's. You don't want to ruin it.

You didn't have a choice. You grab the material that you had dragged along with you, wrapping it tightly around the skin. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry,.." You cry, knowing he can't see or hear you.

Coryo is already panicking. Just like Highbottom had said, you could be dead in there and he wouldn't know. The panic only escalates when the cameras follow Coral, Treech, Tanner, and Mizzen as they go back up to the main floor, and Treech and Tanner go for the two main vent entrances, all of them too focused on you to even notice or care that Reaper was sat in the same clearing.

You don't hear it for a few minutes. The bleeding in your leg had mostly stopped, soaking the silk material by the time you heard the familiar clang of shifting metal. Someone else was in the vents.

You look behind you, trying to discern which direction they were coming from, but it was nearly impossible to tell with the echo. You had to move, but you could be crawling right into your fate. Maybe you should just stay and wait and let it happen.

As the noises got closer from both sides, accompanied by coughing from the dust, you knew you couldn't just wait. You'd made it this far, and as far as you knew, no one else knew the vents nearly as well. That was an advantage you had sought from the very beginning, and now was the time to use it.

You gently lower yourself down to slide back the way you came, hitting the bottom level with a bang before ducking out of sight and around a corner. It couldn't have been Coral up there, she would be taunting you by now, but she wasn't. It was quiet until you heard whispers up from where you just were.

"There's blood on this side. She must have gone back down." You recognize Treech's voice when you hear it, and you hold your breath as you fiddle with the compact in your pocket. Stroking your thumb over the carved metal over and over again, trying to stay quiet. "Look, there's a trail going that way."

"Down we go, then." Tanner replies, making your heart stop. You couldn't fight them off, you knew that, and there was a trail of your own blood that would lead them straight to you. You couldn't hide.

You slowly pull the compact from your pocket, turning it over in your palm. You swore you wouldn't participate in the games. You wouldn't harm anyone. But maybe, if you 'accidentally' spilled its contents in the vent before you had to move on, they would stop following you.

Before you can think too much about it, you're holding your breath and opening the small clasp. It just looked like salt. Yeah. It's salt. You already believe it as you gently tip the container, making a thin line of the substance across the bottom of the vent. Salt is for protection. The salt will keep me safe.

You pocket the compact again and quietly crawl away.

taglist: @soulessjourney , @dreamyysouls , @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie , @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @baybieruth , @scorpiolystoned , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore ,

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry! hopefully for part eleven it'll be business as usual!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

#tbosas #tbosas fic #tbosas fanfiction #tbosas x reader #hunger games #thg #thg series #thg fanfiction #the hunger games #coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #coriolanus fanfiction #coryo x reader #coryo snow #snow x reader #snow lands on top

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letstripdotcom · 3 months

Text

shut up my moms calling- chris sturniolo x fem!reader pt2

a/n: i wasn’t gonna do a part 2 but i got a few requests for it so enjoy (or else🥰🔪) very short and not proofread

summary- coming home from college means seeing the kid you’ve hated most your whole life. chris sturniolo. you’ve hated everything about his existence since the beginning of 6th grade when you transferred to somerville. the summer after your freshman year of college is when everything starts to change.

warnings: same old same old smut 🙂

the next morning the sun beamed down on your face waking you up. shit. the last thing you wanted to happen was nick or matt seeing chris cuddled up shirtless next to you. luckily, you were always up before the three of them, so you had time to sneak chris back to his room.

“chris. chris!” you whisper shouted turing to wake him up. he let go and rolled off you you. “huh” he muttered half awake. “you gotta go before matt and nick wake up.” you told him. he gave you one last hug and a sloppy kiss on your neck before walking across the hall to his room.

you lied down on your bed and sighed. what would you tell nick and matt? would you tell nick and matt? what does this mean to chris? does he still hate me? my mind was flooded with thoughts. suddenly my phone buzzed breaking me out of my thoughts.

chris

u hungry?

yeah kinda

chris

come down in about 30 minutes:)

okay. i’ll shower then i’ll be down.

read: 9:23am

you tossed your phone on the bed beside you. what. the. fuck. you picked out your clothes for the day and you took a shower. you savored every last bit of the 30 minutes of peace you had because who knows how today will go.

after your shower, you head downstairs. you can small whatever chris is cooking. “i made pancakes, your favorite.” you smiled at him thankfully and took the plate from him. the silence was loud once you begun eating. “so” you spoke up. “what are we gonna tell your brothers?”

“i think telling them we talked it out would be fine. we tell them we had a deep conversation last night and we put the past behind us and were ready to be friends now. but we don’t tell them” he paused “we don’t tell them we had sex” i finished his sentence quietly. “exactly” he smiled

i finished my pancakes and went over to the living room couch. chris did the dishes and followed behind me. “you know y/n, i’ve known you since 6th grade isn’t that crazy” “yeah?” i say in a confused tone trying to figure out where he’s going with this. “i’ve known you since 6th grade and we’re adults now” he continues “and i haven’t once told you how i’ve truest felt. i’ve told you how much i hate you many times, but have i ever told you how awful every one of our arguments made me feel?”

i look at him with furrowed eyebrows as i try to think of a response. “really?” was all i could think to say. “every time we would argue like we did the night of that party, i would feel like such a dick. especially when i would catch a glimpse of you and i could tell you were crying.” he says. “then why did you do it?” i ask him.

“i’m not good at expressing emotions, and i ruined it all for myself. if i had ye chance, i would go back to 6th grade and make it all right.” he stared at you “wow” was all you could say before you found yourself kissing chris. your eyes fluttered shut as you moved your lips along his.

his tongue soon makes its way into your mouth exploring every part. you put your hands in his hair and tug slightly which makes him groan. he grabs your waist and sets you on his lap. you kiss very deeply, exploring every part of eachother.

“so i’m guessing y’all made up?” a voice spoke from behind us. jumped off of chris’s lap looking at nick. “surprise!” i awkwardly smiled at him. “thank god” he sighed. “so ur not mad?” i asked “god no. i’d rather you guys practically eat each others faces than hear yall argue for the next week. just not in front of me please.” me chris and nick all laughed

later that night went out to dinner, and chris was teasing me the whole time. no matter where we were he was always touching me somehow. he would run my thighs or hug my waist or whisper something in my ear. i know he was trying to get my worked up and it was working. if i could i would have let him fuck me on the dinner table right in the middle of the restaurant.

the so we got back to the house, i practically dragged him up to my room and slammed the door. “you’re such a tease” is all i said before kissing him hungrily. he grabbed my waist and guided me to the bed, laying me on my back. instead of crawling on top of me like i expected, he lowered himself between my legs.

he lifted up my dress, running his cold hands up my body as he exposed my underwear. he then started to leave wet sloppy kisses up my thighs. “chris please” i beg as he gets closer to where i need him most.

he then tauntingly pulls down my panties and sets them to the side. i moan just at how close he is me me. he then licks a stripe up my folds completely flattening his tongue. my hands immediately fly to his hair. “oh my god chris” i whine.

my legs tighten around his head as he eats me like a starved animal. chris was becoming so turned on by my moans and praises that he had to remove a hand from my waist to try to get himself off. he stroked hard and fast as he continued eating me. he moaned into me, sending tingles all through my body causing my back to arch off the bed.

“chris i’m about to cum i’m about to come” i whined. chris groaned, this mouth still not separating from my pussy. “chris please keep doing that” i begged. he groaned again. “oh fuck” i screamed as i came. chris cleaned up every last one of my juices before he lifted his head from between my shaking legs

chris stood up to get a towel, and grab me a change of clothes when i noticed the wet patch on his crotch. “chris if you needed help all you had to do was ask” i told him. “it’s fine, i just couldn’t help it you sounded so beautiful.” he smiled. i can tell he was clearly still hard. “how bout you lay down while i help you” i smirked crawling over him.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

a/n- this is the ending you get bc i’m dying from a migraine right now🥰

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #smut #nick sturniolo #sturniolo

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lllivia · 1 month

Note

Lottie Matthews x tired fem reader

Reader is overworking herself because she's stressed about very important exams that will guarantee she gets to the college she wants, but lottie noticed this, and just drags her away from her desk to cuddle and pamper little cutie kisses all over her face, body, basically everywhere until Reader falls asleep :((

U said to send requests, so idk if this one is all that good 🥹

I'll always take care of you

Lottie Matthews xf!reader

a/n: AHH I HOPE THIS IS OK, I'VE NEVER REALLY GOTTEN REQUESTS SO I'M PROBABLY NOT THAT GOOD YET (also I forgot to read through it properly and kinda went offscript with some of it sorryy) 😭😭

Summary: Lottie tries her best to comfort you in a stressful situation

Warnings: not proofread, kinda short, modern au, tooth rotting fluff

"Fuck" you mutter as you sit up, rubbing your eyes as you look down at the cluttered desk where you accidentally fell asleep for a few minutes, once again.

You look down at your stuff and sigh, tired of all the studying you have been doing for the last few weeks to make sure you'll ace your upcoming exam.

As you sort through the multiple stacks of paper and pencils your phone suddenly vibrates in your pocket, effectively breaking you out of your trance.

'Hey can I come over? Soccer practice just finished 😎⚽' - lottie the loser🤓💕

The notification lights up, making you giggle tiredly as you see the message from your girlfriend. You hadn't really spent too much time together lately, usually clinging onto each other 24/7, but ever since your exams had started you had been locked up in your room revising everything you had learned for much more time than needed.

You quickly go to answer, your happiness sucked out of you as you look down at your work again and remember you still have stuff you haven't gone through as throughly as you would have wanted.

'I'm sorry Lottie but I don't think I have time for that rn, too busy studying ☹️💔' - you

You respond before putting your phone down, focusing once again on your work.

After about an hour you decide it's time for a well deserved break and stand up from your desk, swaying slightly from the exhaustion weighing down your body before collapsing right into bed thinking a thirty minute nap wouldn't hurt.

DING

You shoot up from bed, wondering who could have just rang the doorbell as your parents weren't expected home from their date until late that evening and the only other person who you had talked to was Lottie, who you specifically told not to come.

DING DING DING

Comes from down stairs once again and you throw your blanket off of you, a tiny bit pissed off that somebody decided to disturb the little time of rest you had set off for yourself.

A few long seconds go by before your hand wraps around the handle to your front door, opening up to whoever interrupted you.

"Hi baby!!" Your girlfriend excitedly says as you open the door for her, stepping into your house before you can even utter a word.

"Now I know you said not to come over, but we haven't hung out in so long and I miss youu" Lottie pouts, shrugging off her backpack before wrapping her long arms around you.

"I miss you too Lot, it's just that I have to nail this exam to pass my final grade" you sigh again, feeling miserable about rejecting her as you pull away.

"Come on y/n, I haven't seen you looking up from your notes in WEEKS, you look exhausted and you need to rest. " Lottie responds with a mildly stern voice as she tries to hide her sadness.

"It's just a couple more weeks, I'll be fine! There's no need to worry about me" you try to reassure her.

"I have to get into this school Lot, It's where my parents always wanted me to go, and I don't want to disappoint them.." You continue, suddenly somber as you try to contain an overwhelming gush of emotions.

"You have nothing to worry about y/n, I know you, you're probably going to do better than anyone else ok? So let's take a little break together, it will probably be easier to study after you've slept a bit" Lottie says gently and lifts her hand up towards your face to brush over your cheek gently in an attempt to comfort you.

Quickly accepting defeat you lean into her, too exhausted to argue as you let yourself relax properly for the first time in a while. "Well I was planning to take a tiny break anyways, but no longer than an hour, ok?" you muster a small smile and playfully poke Lottie.

"Ok then, go lay down in your bed, I'll be right there" Your wonderful girlfriend gushes and hurries to her backpack as you start walking towards your room.

10 minutes go by with no sign of Lottie before you start to get to get suspicious. You're about to get up to check if she left when she walks through the doorframe with a tray in her hands, balancing two steaming cups of tea, two blueberry muffins (from your favorite cafe) and a bowl of fresh fruit while looking extremely proud of herself.

"Oh gosh, you didn't have to do all of this Lot" you let out a surprised laugh making the girl opposite of you grin even wider, her tiny fangs showing.

"Of course I did, I love you" She puts the tray down in your lap and snuggles up close to you. "And I'll always take care of you, okay? So if you ever feel this much pressure and stress again just come to me and I'll help you in any way possible" she peppers your cheek with kisses and wraps her arm around you affectionately, using the other hand to turn on the tv.

What feels like hours go by as you relax together, enjoying the peace as a movie plays.

You end up laying in Lotties lap as her hands soothingly brushes through your hair, her head coming down to kiss you once in a while as she explains that your lips are so addicting that she'll never get enough of them.

And then before you know it the tray is set aside and you lay down, your back pressed against Lotties front as she whispers sweet nothings in your ear.

"I love you Lot" you whisper tiredly, your slightly slurred words making her chuckle as she kisses you all over.

"I love you too baby, I'll wake you up in the morning, you need some proper sleep" she whispers back as all your thoughts drift away, the last thing you feel being Lottie shifting one last time to kiss your forehead before she slowly begins falling asleep too, her heart beating steadily as she listens to your calm breath with a small smile on her face, happy that she managed to make you feel better.

a/n: so sorry idk anything about how american high schools or college's work so Idrk how they do exams either 😍

PLEEEASE SEND REQUESTS I'M BEGGING YOU 🙏😩

#lottie matthews #lottie mathews x reader #lottie matthews smut #lottie matthews x reader #lottie yellowjackets #yj98 #yj #yellowjackets x reader #yellow jackets #yellowjackets #lllivia

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theemporium · 1 year

Note

i saw you writing for poly!wolfstar so i thought why not give this a try 😭 this will be my first ever attempt of requesting so please pardon me for doing this anonymously and horridly... poly!wolfstar who already knows that they both fancy you but still aren't confessing in fear of your reaction, so they resort to the next best thing they thought of, being protective of you like steering you out of other’s radar esp when they know that that person has an interest in you (sirius might have this himbo facade but he's actually far from it) & like lowkey gatekeeping you to themselves but it all boils down to when someone asks you out for the Yule Ball right in front of their faces.

thank you for requesting!🖤

Remus and Sirius may have been some of the brightest wizards to walk through Hogwarts’ doors, but they were by no means smart.

And a fine example of said fact would be the way they had gone out of their way to acknowledge their feelings for you without actually acknowledging their feelings for you.

It was never something they ever thought they’d consider, bringing another person into their relationship. Sure, Sirius would point out the odd witch or wizard he found attractive and Remus would voice his agreements.

But this was different. You were different.

Somehow both boys had fallen head over heels for you, yet neither one of them knew what to do about the feelings and emotions bubbling inside them so they did the next best thing—they just made sure nobody else could have you.

It was subtle at first, the way they went about befriending you. It started off with sitting near you during breakfast, eventually building up conversations and sitting next to you in class. Notes were passed and laughs were shared and you genuinely considered both boys as solid friends in your life.

Then they really started meddling.

“I don’t know, he just doesn’t seem like your type,” Sirius commented casually one morning when you had told him about a budding crush you had on your potions partner—the boy who had walked into the Great Hall moments ago.

“Really?” you frowned a little, tilting your head to the side. “Why not?”

“Just trust me, honey,” Sirius assured you, passing your coffee just the way you liked it.

Their tactics became a bit more obvious to the other students of Hogwarts—most notably James who continued to take the piss out of his best friends—though you seemed none the wiser of their behaviour until the Yule Ball returned to Hogwarts and you found yourself surrounded by friends and classmates getting asked to the ball in a number of grand proposals.

You watched each with a hopeful smile and a longing gaze, but never voiced your thoughts to anyone. And as the days passed, you had accepted the fact that maybe it wasn’t in your luck to have a date, that maybe you would just attend with a few friends and make a night of it.

Until you were sitting out by the lake, Remus leaning back against the tree with a book in his hand and Sirius lounging with his head in his boyfriend’s lap, some sort of muggle device playing music sat near him as he aimlessly tapped his wand against his thigh in beat. You were just enjoying a day with your friends, the weather a little warmer than usual for Scotland and you planned to take full advantage of it.

What none of you were expecting was the day to be interrupted by a boy, robe abandoned and sleeves rolled up to his elbows, as he approached you with a nervous smile on his face.

It took a whole five seconds before Sirius and Remus clocked what was about to happen.

“Tommy, hi,” you smiled at the boy, the sweater you had been trying to mend for Remus now abandoned on your lap.

“Hi,” he said as he cleared his throat. “Listen, I know this is kinda last minute but I was just nervous to ask you because…I really like you and—”

There was nothing wrong with Tommy. He was a sweet boy, very kind to anybody he came across and never gave a reason for anyone to hate him. He was smart and, though he was a little shy, you had come to realise he was quite funny once he opened up a bit.

But at that very moment to the boys, Tommy was probably their least favourite person in Hogwarts—which was saying a lot, all things considered.

“I’m gonna stop you right there, Timmy,” Sirius suddenly spoke up, now by your side rather than a few feet away like he was moments ago.

“My name is Tommy,” he murmured with a slightly puzzled expression.

“I don’t care,” Sirius said with a smile. “What I do care about is that you’re clearly trying to make a move on our girl.”

“Our girl?”

“Your girl?”

Both you and Tommy looked at Sirius with matching looks of confusion.

“Yes, that is what he said,” Remus spoke up, not once looking away from his book as he flipped the page. “You wouldn’t happen to be asking our girl to the ball, would you, Timothy?”

“Tommy,” he repeated before letting out a cough. “And, uh, yeah I was—”

“Her answer will be no,” Sirius interrupted and waved him off. “Bye bye now, Tito.”

You gaped as you watched Tommy quickly scurry off, looking more confused than dejected by what just happened. And then you turned to look at your boys, both looking far too smug with themselves at what just happened.

“What on earth—”

But before you could even finish your sentence, Sirius was kissing you. And less than a second later, you were kissing him and moaning into his mouth when you felt his fingers tangle themselves in your hair.

Then he was pulling away, looking completely unbothered as he settled back into Remus’ lap as you sat there, flushed cheeks and open mouth as you tried to wrap your head around what just happened.

“Like we said,” Remus grinned at your expression, eyes darkening at the sight of your flustered face. “Our girl, right?”

“Right,” you repeated, still a little dazed and now a little eager to feel Sirius’ lips on you again—or even Remus too.

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definitelynotafurinasimp · 7 months

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Hello Henry :D I've followed you for quite sometimes and I really love your works!! So I'd like to request if you don't mind: Lisa, Shenhe and Yae with a very emotional reader. Like the reader can easily burst into tears, either when they feel too happy or too sad (kinda self-indulgent since that's me irl). I hope you can write this and if you don't that's fine!!! Thank you sm and have a good dayy!!!

Them with a very emotional reader

characters: Lisa / Shenhe / Yae Miko x gn!reader

warnings: none

a/n: *September 2022* OH GOD THIS REQUEST IS A YEAR OLD WHAT AM I DOING?!?! I am so sorry it took me this long, also, if you’re still following me and remember that you requested this anon, thanks for the nice words!

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Lisa

When the sun started to set and most people had already left the library a long time ago, one person outside of the librarian would almost certainly still be seated where they’d been for hours already, reading the same book they had been reading for hours already while still breaking out in laughter, tears of joy or sad weeping depending on whatever they were reading.

A long time ago, Lisa would have felt her peaceful naps disturbed, almost going as far as to reprimand them for not following every library's most sacred law. And yet, as she heard you giggling to yourself now, she couldn’t help but feel the corners of her lips shape into a smile as she left the comfortability of her chair to rise before slowly making her way over to where you sat.

“And cutie? Like what you’re reading?”, the librarian asked once she was behind your chair, putting her hands on it and leaning against it until her face wasn’t too far from the side of your head, something that proved to be lucky as you quickly whipped your head around, causing you to nearly headbutt her, the happiness on your face almost as radiant as that of a dog excitedly wagging its tail at the sight of its owner.

“Lisa!”, you exclaimed with excitement, throwing the notion of trying to keep quiet in a library completely out the window.

“Very much so, it’s surprisingly funny. Everytime I think I know what’s going to happen next, it takes a completely different turn. I can’t stop laughing…”, you slowly trailed off, staring into the far for a split second before once again turning your attention towards her, your cheeks growing red from shame.

“I was loud again, wasn’t I? Of course I was, that was a stupid question. I’m sorry Lisa, I know that I’m supposed to be quiet in here but- I tend to lose track of the real world whenever I’m here”, you frantically apologized, talking so quickly Lisa could feel herself growing lightheaded trying to keep up with you, only to eventually calm you down with an assuring smile.

“I know. I’m sure most people that come here kind of expect to hear you already at this point, so don’t worry your cute head over nothing.”

“Anyway, want to tell me about the book?”, she asked before taking a seat next to you and listening to you excitedly recollect about the book.

It only took her a couple of sentences to realize she had already read it, managing to finish each of your sentences during your plot summary in her head before you. But as she looked at your happy face as you went on, interrupting you was the last thing on her mind.

Shenhe

There were times your behavior didn’t quite seem to make sense to Shenhe. Tears coming out of your eyes only for you to smile and reassure her that they were tears of joy when she awkwardly tried to console you. Crying not out of sadness but from feeling happy? Shenhe must have been even more out of touch with human emotions than she had realized, that or the last time she felt such happiness must have been too far in the past for her to remember.

At the end of the day it didn’t matter. If you were happy that was great, and if you showed your joy by bursting into tears then it was also fine. Even if it caused her to worry a bit.

Today was your birthday and while the two of you had agreed to spend the day together, Shenhe didn’t come empty handed. She had seen people buy each other presents for special occasions and how happy they made others, and so, before she had realized it, she went and asked her master for help with choosing something to give you.

In hindsight it would have been quicker and a lot less embarrassing if she had just kept to herself, Cloudretainers choices being… rather unorthodox, but once she was involved, there was no way Shenhe was able to back out. Or bring the present back with her for that matter.

So here she was, handing you the present as her chest tightened up, uncharacteristic levels of anxiety building up in her in worry you wouldn’t like it, and yet, as she finally looked back at you, seeing you stare inside the opened bag with tears welling up in the corners of your eyes, that same anxiety quickly found itself replaced with panic.

“I’m sorry, it was stupid of me to try and get you something when I’m this out of touch with human society. Please for-”, Shenhe was just in the process of apologizing, when you basically jumped at her and gave her a hug, happily swaying from side to side.

“Thanks Shenhe! Where did you even get a Cor Lapis Amulet this beautiful?”, you asked before pulling back for a moment and pulling the string attached to the stone around your neck.

Here you were again, crying while being happy and leaving Shenhe completely dumbfounded. And while she silently stood there for a few moments, letting everything that was happening pass by, a smile slowly made its way onto her face, your joy far too radiant for the red strings around her body to stop all of it from rubbing off on her.

Yae Miko

Somehow, was it because Yae took pity on someone this easily moved to tears or because your display of unfiltered joy and happiness was too contagious for her to ruin it with a comment or two, you found yourself almost unharmed by the notorious Guuji. Sure, there were still more than enough times even you had to endure her teasing, but even then it was anything but humiliating.

The same could not be said about whoever was unlucky enough to hurt your feelings, be it by deliberately being mean to you or saying something hurtful in the heat of the moment…

When you had entered Yae’s office while loudly and enthusiastically greeting her, only for her to respond with nothing more than a grunt of acknowledgement, the room quickly returned to being completely silent, causing her to eventually look up at you, wondering why your enthusiasm had died down so suddenly, only to be greeted with the sight of you spacing out, your expression growing increasingly worried and down.

“Is something wrong? Why so silent all of a sudden?”, she asked, finally putting her work to the side, causing you to snap out of it and look at her again, even if you avoided eye contact.

“Miko. Am I annoying?”

“Who called you annoying?”, Yae almost immediately shot back with another question, her voice betraying her determination to find out a name, and while she saw your eyes widen in surprise as you quickly tried to assure her that there was no one, she knew you better than to be fooled.

“I’m just saying that if I annoy you, you can tell me-”, you barely managed to get the sentence out of your mouth as small tears started forming on the corners of your eyes, before Yae cut you off again.

“My little bird, go around the streets and ask about me for a minute and you’ll find out quite easily that I’m not exactly someone that holds back when it comes to saying what I want. So don’t even think I’d be too afraid to tell you if I really found you annoying.”

By the time she finished talking, Yae stood only a meter or two in front of you, only to continue talking after a small pause.

“So. What’s their name?”

Was it out of intimidation or because some deep, part of you wanted them to get their comeuppance, but before you knew it, you had spilt the name, immediately feeling guilt over what was about to happen wash over you, only for Yae to give you a reassuring smile before lightly patting your shoulder.

“Sit down and make yourself comfortable, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

#lisa minci #lisa imagines #lisa x reader #lisa #lisa x y/n #lisa x you #shenhe imagines #shenhe x you #shenhe x y/n #shenhe x reader #shenhe #yae miko imagines #yae miko x y/n #yae miko x you #yae miko x reader #yae miko

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allthingsfangirl101 · 3 months

Text

Cupid's Little Helper - Keys

I walked into the office, unfazed by the hearts and the cupids everywhere. Valentine's Day at a company like Soonami was a lot like Valentine's Day at an elementary school. Everyone wore pink and red and brought little valentines for everyone. There was also a huge party that started at 2 and didn't end until people went home.

Soonami takes holidays very seriously.

I laughed when I saw the look on Keys' face. I walked over and leaned on his cubicle.

"Why is my favorite coder so pouty?" I teased. I was one of the only people at our company who knew what Keys was actually good at. I often went to him for help fixing a coding issue.

"I'm fine," he said shifting in his seat.

"Keys," I elongated as I pulled a chair over and sat next to him. "Spill it."

"There's nothing to spill," he said very unsuccessfully. He turned back to his computer to look distracted.

"Is it Valentine's Day?" I suggested. "It's just a stupid holiday."

"A holiday that makes you feel like shit for not having anyone," he mumbled.

"You know," I started carefully, "it could also be seen as a great day for you to confess your feelings."

"My feelings?" He asked as his head snapped toward me.

"Yeah," I shrugged. "It's kinda obvious."

"Is it?" He asked, his voice dropping.

"Little bit," I teased. "You come into work already distracted. And every time you get a text, you jump. Is it that one girl? Your old partner?"

"Millie? You think she's the one. . ."

"Of course. I mean, who else could it be?"

I didn't give him a chance to answer me. I turned on my heels and headed to my desk. I sat down and instantly started going through the complaints Keys went through yesterday.

Before I knew it, the Valentine's Day party was in full swing. I ignored it and continued fixing the problem I'd spent the last three hours trying to get rid of. I continued ignoring my surroundings when someone knocked on my desk.

"Come on, Y/N," Keys chuckled. "The party started an hour ago."

"I'm aware," I said with little to no emotion.

"Y/N," he sighed. I pouted when my chair was dragged away from my desk.

"Keys!" I pouted. I spun around and crossed my arms over my chest. "I was still working on that complaint that you sent me. . ."

"I know. I know. I know," he chuckled. "You never stop working, but it's the Valentine's Day party."

"I thought you hated Valentine's Day," I chuckled as I stood up and walked over to the drink table.

"I do," Keys said as he followed me. "Doesn't mean I can't appreciate a party."

A little while later, I wasn't sure where Keys had disappeared. I made myself not care and focused on talking to some of the girls from the graphic design department.

I was in the middle of getting myself a drink when someone walked up to me. My heart felt weird when I turned around and realized it was Mouser instead of Keys.

"You know," he said, overly confident, "your nickname should be Smooth. . ."

"Don't finish that sentence," I cut him off. "Mouser, how many times have you asked me out?"

He opened his mouth to say something, but I didn't give him the chance. "And how many times have I rejected you? So add up those and use that number to help you figure out whether or not you should continue to ask me out."

I started to walk away but he grabbed my wrist. "Come on, Y/N," Mouser scoffed. "All I'm asking you for is one dance."

"I don't really feel like having you grope me to a Rhianna song," I said, trying to tear my hand out of his hold.

"But Y/N. . ."

"Hey, baby," I gasped when Keys wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed my cheek.

"Are you guys. . ." Mouser didn't finish his question.

"Yeah," Keys cut him off. "And you are still holding onto her."

Mouser jumped when Keys ripped his hand off my wrist. My heart felt weird again as Keys let go of me and slowly moved me behind him.

"You really need to work on understanding the word, 'no', Mouser. You hear it enough," Keys said.

"I didn't know. . ." Mouser stuttered.

"Walk away, Mouser. Now."

I held my breath, not letting out a sigh of relief until Mouser walked away. The second he was gone, Keys turned toward me.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah," I said, my voice weirdly quiet. "Thank you, Keys. You didn't. . . You didn't have to do that."

"Of course I did," he shrugged. "What kind of guy would I be if I let Mouser hit on you?"

Awkward tension suddenly fell between us. I nervously started ringing my neck as Keys opened and closed his mouth.

"I should. . ." I started.

"I'm sorry," Keys laughed awkwardly. "I shouldn't have kissed you. I just. . . I saw Mouser not leaving you alone and then he grabbed you. . . I just thought. . . Maybe kissing you wasn't the right route."

"I think it was," I cut him off. That tension thickened even more between us.

"You do?" He stuttered.

"Yeah," I said, my voice dropping. "I mean. . . It worked, didn't it?"

"Yeah," Keys chuckled. "It worked."

I cleared my throat as I added, "You better stay by my side the rest of the party. Just in case, you know, in case Mouser sees me."

"He should think that we're together," Keys said, catching on.

After that, we hung out the rest of the night. The more we did, the harder it was to get rid of the weird feeling in my heart. Around nine o'clock, the party was finally starting to wind down.

"Well," I sighed. "I think I'm gonna head home. We still have work tomorrow."

We stared at each other for a minute before I finally broke the contest. I looked away and pretended to check my watch.

"Thanks again, Keys," I whispered. I sent him a smile before beginning to walk away. I didn't get very far away. I gasped when my elbow was grabbed and I was quickly spun around.

The second I was facing whoever grabbed me, they leaned down and smashed their lips onto mine. When I realized it was Keys, I closed my eyes and started kissing him back. The second I kissed him back, neither one of us held back anymore.

"Keys," I gasped when we broke the kiss.

"I'm sorry," he quickly started to explain. "The truth is, I have a really big crush on you, Y/N. I have for a really long time. And when I saw Mouser hitting on you. . . It was stupid. I know that. I guess you could say I got swept up in all the hearts and cupids and the party and. . ."

I cut him off by grabbing his face and pressing my lips back to his. He let out a small chuckle as he instantly started kissing me back. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer.

This time, Keys broke the kiss. When he did, he leaned back and looked deeply into my eyes.

"I know it's Valentine's Day and kinda late," he said, his voice soft, "but would you like to get a drink? Or maybe go to dinner sometime?"

"I'd love to," I said, my face burning. Keys smiled as he reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, his hand lingering on my face.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Y/N."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Keys."

#keys imagine #walter keys mckeys #joe keery #joe keery imagines #free guy #free guy imagine #valentine's day

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sapphos-ode · 10 months

Text

Little Cat

Part 9

Larissa Weems part 8 | part 10 | ao3

As promised, here’s the first part of the Harvest Festival! Enjoy <3 I didn’t write this in one sitting last night instead of getting sleep so it’s a little jumpy, soz

TW: there is a panic attack and I do describe it so please be careful if that would trigger you or if you’re sensitive to it. Please take care of yourself x

The last two days of the school week sees you feeling a little low - but you do a good job at hiding it, enough for your students and colleagues not to notice. The cause isn't anything that's happened in your life, more so the happenings of other peoples’. Although the facade works on most people, Alice sees through it and like any good friend she’s waltzed into your quarters unannounced. You pay her no mind, not taking your eyes off of the tv - today you had settled on an old Disney Princess classic, ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarves’ to be specific. You’re also halfway through a tub of ice cream, no bowl in sight, just the carton and a trusty teaspoon.

“It’s time for a therapy sesh! Turn that shit off,” Alice declares as she lets the door slam behind her.

You acquiesce and mute the film. She makes a beeline for your cutlery drawer grabbing a dessert spoon before jumping onto the couch next to you, worming her way under the blanket with you.

“Get that big ass spoon away from me and my ice cream,” you growl, giving her a healthy amount of side eye even though you allow her to dig into the ice cream with you.

“There’s nothing wrong with my spoon,”

You let out a half hearted chuckle before resting your head on her shoulder.

“I’m alright. Just soaked in too many emotions this week is all,”

“That’s good to hear but still, talk,”

You glance up at her, an appreciative look in your eyes. You had done a Bachelors with honours in English literature at university alongside a PGDE allowing you to go straight into teaching after graduating. You’re not sure how you secured the post at Nevermore but you did and it was the best thing to happen to you. Your friendship with Alice was a lifeline you didn’t realise you needed, she was only a year your senior but that llittle bit more life experience she had was invaluable. The friendship wasn’t one sided however. You helped her just as much as she helped you. She was less intune with her emotions than you, and when she struggled to name what she was feeling you'd be there to help her figure it out - there were perks to being an empath.

You take a deep inhale, “There’s not much to talk about, a few students are feeling… down, depressed, you name it, and I’ve kinda just absorbed it all,” you poke at the ice cream with your spoon, “also it reminded me of my mum, she was very against me moving here. She wanted me to teach at a local highschool in my hometown.”

You look up at Alice and she nods, silently telling you to continue on.

“I was really excited when I was invited to interview here, and then to actually hear back and be told I was offered the job? Couldn’t have been happier… but when I told my mum she just felt nothing. Bit of a bummer right? Anger would’ve been better than her apathy.” You let out a hollow bark of a laugh, “She could have at least pretended to be happy about it, think that’s why I’m feeling more down than usual,”

Alice nods along to your words, stealing another spoonful of ice cream before speaking, “She’ll come round to it, she’ll just be anxious about you being so far away, you are from Cali after all,”

“True, I have quite literally moved to the other side of the country, but I went to uni a few states over, and she wasn’t like that…” you pause for a moment, “it’s whatever though, besides, I’m going to the Harvest Festival with Larissa tomorrow. Oh!!! I forgot to tell you! I’m so sor- Owww!”

You tear yourself away from her to nurse your arm from where Alice had slapped you. With a mouth full of ice cream she had resorted to giving you a dirty glare.

“I’m sorry!” you whined, “I meant to tell you… promise,” you fall back onto her shoulder.

“I’ll forgive you if you tell me the details, did you ask her?”

“No, she asked me, she was so nervous it was adorable,”

“Y’know, for how much you fawn over her for her confidence and stuff, you call her cute quite a lot, I wouldn’t use that word to describe her, personally.”

“But she is, what would you say instead then?”

“Hot.”

“That’s so true,”

“I think there’s two Principal Weems though, you always talk about this woman who’s so… so Bambi like around you!”

“She hardly talked to me until like recently,”

“Really? She scares me to be honest, she’s so sure of herself and she knows she’s got everyone at her beck and call,”

“Exactly why she’s so hot! But seriously, she only ever talked to me about work, and even then she always kept it super short, like even for a professional conversation…”

“I think she likes you, that’s the only explanation. Why else would someone not talk to you then suddenly act all docile?”

“You’re more delusional than I am,” you scoff.

You turn the volume up a little to ease the quiet. The pair of you watch the movie, making good progress on the ice cream. You have another tub in the freezer which you know you’ll have to bring out eventually.

“I only really feel more negative emotions from people, but when Larissa asked me to the festival… I don’t know what I felt from her, but it was like a warm emotion? The closest I could describe it as is love but that would be so out of context for the situation.” you speak over the twelve dwarve’s song from when they’re digging around the mine.

“You do feel happier emotions though, right?”

“Yeah, but usually only when they’re really strong.”

“Hmm, that is odd.”

“Yeah, just remembered that the now,” you leave the conversation at that. Not having the energy to dissect what it could mean.

It was well into the night, you and Alice had watched several movies, and now you were watching ‘The Notebook’. You sniffle a little as a few tears drop onto Alice’s t-shirt.

“Are you crying?”

“No!”

Alice ended up staying over at yours, as you talk about your deepest fears, it reminds you of the sleepovers you’d have as a teenager. When you were spilling your soul out to people you thought would never leave your life.

You’re thankful for Alice not leaving you with your own thoughts.

You stand at your floor length mirror, scrutinising your outfit, you had spent the day organising lessons for the following week and before you knew it, it was time to leave for the Harvest Festival. You finally decide that your clothes would do before tossing on a jacket and scarf, it was getting so cold these days.

“Why did I fuss so much? Don’t even see them under this coat,” you mutter before grabbing your keys and heading to Larissa’s office.

You’re a little early to meet Larissa but you were restless, you hadn’t seen her since she had so clumsily asked you to join her, apart from organising times. You knock on the door and wait for her to call you in, her saccharine voice is heard clearly even through the heavy doors. That woman’s power would be the end of you.

“Hey, you ready?,” you say as you poke your head through the threshold before fully entering the room.

You hadn’t really been in Larissa’s office much, the first few weeks she had called you in every now and then to make sure you were settling in okay. The room was overwhelming, as was most of Nevermore. The ceiling was outrageously high, and Larissa always had that fireplace roaring with flames. The room was cast in a darker light but still illuminated enough that you weren’t squinting to see. You look around in awe, taking in the taxidermies bear, and the mirrors on the ceilings. Odd placement but you think nothing of it. Eventually your sights are turned to Larissa, framed by the rich red velvet curtains and grand window. She sat at her desk, laptop open, a heart meltingly tender smile on her lips as she looked at you through her lashes, head downturned just a touch.

“Never been more ready,” she purrs as she rounds her desk and grabs her coat before sauntering over to you. Her eyes never leaving you.

She stops very close to you, so close you can smell her perfume, it was the same earthy citrus scent from last week. And just like it had back then, it had your head spinning.

“I’ll spare you and let you drive this time,”

“You’re too kind to me,” she humours you.

You shake your head at her before placing a hand on the small of her back and usher her to the door. Larissa’s heart flutters at the action.

With childlike wonder you soak in the carnival, you loved them and hadn’t had many chances to go to them when you were younger. As you stand in awe at the entrance, flocks of people walking around you, Larissa is too busy looking at you with the same amazement. Studying your profile and committing it to memory, she notices a faint white scar on the corner of your jaw and she wants to know how you got it.

“Shall we?” An angelic voice cuts you free from your thoughts as you look to Larissa.

A little embarrassed at yourself you nod before you feel your stomach cry out. Your cheeks redden as you smile at her apologetically.

“Can we get food first?”

You watch Larissa eat, her eyes closed as she relishes the first bite. You can’t help but stare at her, she was so adorable and this felt very domestic.

“You know, I never thought you’d be the kind to enjoy a greasy burger,”

Larissa pauses mid chew, eyes a little wide in confusion. Her cheeks puffed out like a hamster.

“You just seem like you have a fancy palate, you know, like you enjoy those niche foods that are so exclusive and coveted but actually taste like ass,” you continue, leaning your chin on one hand. The other fiddling with the edge of the table as you pick at the worn down wood that was fraying with age.

Larissa swallows her mouthful slowly before speaking, “And what exactly does that mean?”

“Nothing, just one of my observations,” your tone is lighthearted.

“Just one of?” Larissa is intrigued now.

“Mhmm,” you don’t elaborate further as you tuck into your own burger.

Your eyes blow wide as you stare her down. This was a good burger, she was right. As you had perused the food stalls Larissa had talked your ear off about this particular vendor, raving on and on about how she waited for each Festival for it. She gave you a smug smile.

With a loud thwack you finally land the third arrow into the bullseye, turns out you were a natural at archery despite never having touched a bow and arrow before now. Well, that may be an exaggeration, this was your fourth attempt at the stall, with Larissa encouraging you from a safe distance behind. Your competitive streak and ego not allowing you to give up until you had won the game. You also had a certain blonde woman to impress. Stakes were high.

You were beaming with joy as you whispered to the man, pointing out what prize you wanted. As he goes to pull it down for you, you look over your shoulder to see Larissa talking to one of the art teachers who had been passing by. With her distracted you were able to thank the man and hide the stuffed toy behind your back. You wait patiently by her side for the conversation to finish.

“Pray tell what your trophy is,” she turns to you, with a proud look in her eyes. Your heart swells and you want her to look at you like that more often.

“More yours than it is mine.” You procure a white stuffed cat and hold it out to her. It’s of a larger size.

The Principal smiles in disbelief as she takes it from your hands, “For me?”

“Why else do you think I kept at that rigged game for so long!” You llink your arm in hers as you wander off into the crowds. Larissa allows herself to be led along as she studies the plush, it was eerily similar to her form as a cat. A horrible feeling forms in her stomach, did you know? Surely not? She decides it's just a coincidence and tucks it into her other arm, allowing herself to feel flattered you had given her a gift. She’d cherish it.

“Have you- ”

“There’s Principal Weems!” Just as you’re about to ask Larissa something, Marilyn has called over, with Alice in tow. She’s waving over at you from another stall.

You and Larissa stop as the duo walks over.

“Perfect!” Marilyn says as she notices you with the Principal, she must not have seen you over all the people. “I finally found someone willing to go through the haunted house with me, but the carts seat four people and I don’t fancy screaming with strangers, and, well, there’s two of you! Come on! The queues not long,” The botany teacher doesn't give you room to argue before she's pulling you, and Larissa who’s still got her arm linked with yours.

You look at Alice who just shrugs, seemingly unbothered by everything, then you look up at Larissa who's started to converse with Marilyn.

You squeeze your eyes shut and take a few controlled breaths.

The redhead was right, the queue moved quickly, too quickly. Before you can protest, you’re shoved into the seat with Larissa. You just sit stock still as she comments about how they’ve really outdone themselves with the models this year. You don’t really register what she's saying.Faintly you can hear Alice and Marilyn talking about their favourite rides.

With a juddering move, the cart starts to advance as it takes you through a cheap black curtain. Your hands are clammy and you're visibly trembling in your seat. You’re shrouded in darkness before a light flashes on to reveal an unnervingly realistic skeleton drop from the ceiling right next to you. You can’t conceal the scream as you jerk away from it, bumping into Larissa. Her hands find purchase on your hips as she steadies you, chuckling at you. The skeleton bounces up and down on its elastic string as if it's mocking you. No one else screamed and now you feel oh so silly.

Larissa moves a hand up to your shoulder and it has the opposite effect than she had intended, You shoot away from her, yelling again.

“Babes, save your energy, rides just started,” Alice laughs.

You look at her weakly before you settle back down.

For the first minute or so you manage to contain yourself but the ride ups the ante and it's an onslaught of jumpscares and horrifyingly accurate props paired with the most wretched heart stopping music.

What takes the cake is when the models begin to interact, a mummified hand snaps out from the side to grab onto Marilyn’s shoulder, to which she laughs. She laughs.

It becomes too much, as more and more horror elements start leering into you, you begin to feel a horrible tightness in your chest, phantom hands clawing at your neck, wrapping around slowly. The music is too loud, the dim lighting is somehow too bright and you can hear everyone's breathing. Your clothes seem to be scratching against your skin despite feeling absolutely fine moments ago. A witch’s cackle sounds as cheap sparks are set off all around you. You flinch. Then a fog machine is set into motion, obscuring your sight as steam hisses. The world begins to rock as a cold sweat prickles all over your body.

With a sickening suddenness a grotesque, hyper-realistic cadaver drops down just ahead. A mechanic whirring is heard. It launches towards the cart. Hitting the front before it rises. You shriek in pure unadulterated terror, tearing up your throat as you launch yourself into Larissa’s lap, hiding your face with her shoulder. Your body trembles as she instinctively wraps her arms around you. Your breathing is erratic and she can even feel your heart thrashing against her chest. Your grip on her jacket is iron tight, your knuckles white. You feel stiff and unresponsive to the soothing circles she's rubbing against your back.

A series of plastic spiders suspended on string descend down, drawing the cart and brushing against everyone. Faintly you hear Marilyn and Alice giggle at it. But you tense, and the sensation of the spikey legs sets you over the edge. You press yourself even further into Larissa, as you choke back sobs. Over the music, they can't be heard, but Larissa can feel you jerk with each cry that forces itself out of you.

At this point Alice has caught on, she leans forward and looks between you and Larissa, a pointed look of concern on her face. But Larissa just quietly tells her she has it under control and for Alice to just enjoy the remainder of the ride.

Another cheap shock value scare, and just the noise has you screeching and curling into yourself more.

“Atikah?” She whispers softly into your ear, one hand stroking through your hair, her other arm now wrapped firmly around your waist. But it does little in grounding you.

You only whimper in response.

She feels guilty for not realising you were genuinely terrified.

After what feels like an eternity you finally break through another black curtain back into the outside world. The cart stops with a few groans, Alice and Marilyn watch you as Larissa tries to coax you off of her.

“Atikah, it’s over now,”

You move back marginally, letting the noises of the other rides filter back in, it still sounds overwhelming but the eerie music is no longer present.

Larissa eyes the other two, both varying degrees of worried, before leaning in close so she can't be heard, “You’re safe now, I promise,” her warm breath ghosts over your ear.

You take a shuddering breath and extricate yourself from Larissa’s lap, keeping your head down so your hair covers your face. The blonde still keeps a hand on your back as she watches you try calm yourself down with great effort.

Wordlessly you leave the cart and walk off to the side just out of view.

The remaining trio all exchange glances, and Alice is the first to leave, hopping over Marilyn. The other two hot on her heels.

By the time Alice had reached you, you had found a picnic bench and sat staring into the neighbouring forest, counting in your head as you took measured breaths. The tingling feeling in your hands had started to subside but you still shake.

“Hey,”

You don’t tear your gaze away from the trees. Barely registering Alice sitting next to you.

“What happened back there?” She noticed your eyes looking a little red and raw.

Your voice is weak and hoarse as you muster up the strength to speak, “Just, got too much in there, I think,”

Before Alice can reply Marilyn is heard from not too far away, “I’m so sorry Miss. Karnstein! I didn’t know- ”

“It’s fine.” You take a deep breath and wipe the dried tears off of your face, “I’m sorry for ruining it,” you laugh halfheartedly. Giving her a smile, or as much of a smile as you can.

“Don’t be ridiculous, are you okay now?” The English accent that graces your ears helps greatly as you finally begin to feel human again.

You nod slowly, still not making eye contact. It’s one catastrophe after another for you, now that you’ve regained yourself, you’re embarrassed.

“It was fun- ” you start.

“Bitch not for you,”

Alice shirks away at the look the Principal sends her.

You laugh, it's an airy laugh but it’s genuine and it dispels the tension, soon Marilyn’s joining you.

Alice hugs you tight, “I think Principal Weems has got it from here, we’ll leave you be,”

“Yeah, we’ll get out of your hair, enjoy the rest of your date,” Marilyn chirps before heading into the crowd, dragging Alice with her but not before she can send a shit eating grin your way.

You and Larissa are left in shock, both of your faces a delicious red, a charged silence between you. Neither of you look at eachother.

“Our what?” Larissa mutters into the air, head reeling at Marilyn’s cast away comment.

You don't respond immediately. Both of you had heard the botany teacher loud and clear.

“Is it… is it okay if we just sit here a little longer?” you ask meekly, peering up at her.

“We can stay here as long as you need, darling,” Larissa takes a seat next to you.

“Thank you.” You rest your head on her shoulder.

You’re not sure how long you sit with the blonde, at some point her arm has found its way around your body again. Another tether helping you banish the last of the nerves. She’s busy admiring the stars. As best she can with the light pollution. To you, the stars have nothing against Larissa.

Fireworks bloom in the sky, you can see their reflection in Larissa’s eyes. In that moment you sit up and press a kiss to the very corner of Larissa’s mouth.

AN - I have never cried at a film… I’ve almost cried. But I did cry at the notebook when I watched it aged 15. Also sorry for the downer in this chapter, but I thought it’d be fun to have our dear reader cling to Larissa 🤭

taglist - @weemssapphic @h-doodles @blessmysouljessisonaroll @eveymay @lvinhs @enchantressb @a-queen-and-her-throne

(pls lmk if I forgot to tag you and I’ll have you tagged in future updates, or if you’d like removed)

#larissa weems #larissa weems x reader

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