#I mean I posted the video on YouTube it would be maybe cooler if people watched there

[unoriginal-and-dumb]

You got into a regretevator TikTok compilation with one of your infected videos where he goes apeshit

This is like the billionteenth time I hope they credited me at least

#happened with Fiona and cake #it happened with pizza tower #happened with nimon and digital circus #actually it happened a lot with pizza tower that was weird #I mean I posted the video on YouTube it would be maybe cooler if people watched there #ah but what do I know

[shoukiko]

My Simon "Ghost" Riley headcanons

Throws up this and runs away. No cuz fr, I don't know how else to share this other than just *BLEH* *Runs* plz enjoy (I hope my boyfriend doesn't see) Word Count: 688 Fandom: Call of Duty Modern Warefare Purely sfw!!!!!!

I see so many people talk about him like he's this cold insecure guy, not for me, he has so much confidence and loves showing off especially in front of you. Soap showing you some dumb trick he can do with a knife? Ghost wil 100% come in like "Oh yea, watch this?" and do something 10x cooler. He catches you watching some guy on YouTube mincing some veggies really fast? Ghost will practice in his free time and randomly come to you like "Come, I wanna show you what I can do" and then make you watch him mince veggies. Anytime you take a selfie he has to photo bomb it in the back with him flexing or a peace sign, he's jsut silly like that.

Bro cannot cook for shit. He burns everything so he sticks with microwaved meals or a sausage on a stove (courtesy of this post) If he's cooking and you're around he will look to you with a desperate face and say something like "Help me out, yeah? Cmon"

TOUCHING!!!!!! LOVE LANGUAGE IS TOUCHING!!!!!! He NEEDS to be touching you in some way. Sitting on a couch, but someone is in between you and him? He has his arm reaching out behind them to touch your hair/shoulder. He's laying down with you sitting up? His feet are under your thighs. He loves touching you in way that aren't super obvious, but when you're alone he needs to be holding you in some way.

I like to think he plays video games on his free time. Maybe not like Minecraft (He would definitely play if you asked him) but more like FPS games cuz he knows he'd be good. (He also has a banger set up that he's really proud of, he'd build you a PC if you asked)

If you guys are just friends/long distance, you'd talk to him over Discord, maybe you have a server with him. (And perhaps Soap and Gaz....Price too old :3) He would ping you like "@name I wanna play a game, play with me." and you you didn't respond fast enough, he would spam ping until you answer cuz he's desperate for your attention.

He likes to look at you, whenever you call him he will instantly switch to a video call so he can see your face, but he's the tyep to not pay attention and only show his forehead because of how he holds his phone. Maybe on discord before you play he asks you to turn your camera on and when you don't wanna he hangs up and refuses to join back. (Cuz hes a big baby)

Back rubs, giving and recieving....need I say more

He made an instagram/twitter/whatever you use, just to follow you. He only ever follows you until Gaz or Soap beg him for a follow, Price again doesn't really care for it. He likes all of your posts, including the cringey ones. If you post selfies and get compliments, he'd reply to someone saying "Get in line" or "They're taken, fuck off with ya"

His texts are short, but you can tell how he really means it, he's better with actual words than texts because he likes being able to look at your reactions. Things like "You wanna get some takeaway? I can order you something, what would you like?" Will turn into "Food, yea?" in text.

He'd let you paint his nails, would go around showing people what his "Lovie" did to him. He'd also be surprisingly good at painting yours, steady hands~

"Hey, Ghost" "Simon." "What?" "You heard me."

He likes playfighting, maybe you're standing next to him and he'll randomly shove you just to get a reaction, he finds it cute.

If you own a pet, it loves him, but he doesn't love the shedding. Ruins his edgy look.

He cares, but he shows it quietly so he doesn't embarrass you in any way. If you're crying, he'll come to you and give you a soft headpat, or rub your back. He won't say anything until after you've calmed down That's all for now~~ I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I do!! If you want more PLEASE TELL ME I WILL DELIVER!!!!!

#simon ghost riley #simon riley imagine #cod mwii #ghost cod #headcanon #ghost headcanons #cod #cod mw2 #woof woof woof bark bark #big man make brain go brrrrrr #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod 141 #task force 141

[hollownoire]

Current W.I.P's and Future Plans! Exciting Shit!

A lot of ya'll may have noticed I've been kind of quiet or otherwise preoccupied lately, and that's because there's a ton of really exciting stuff I'm currently working on! :3

There's a lot I wanna share, so for those of you who are interested this post is gonna go over all of the stuff I've been doing lately, a glimpse at what things might look like for me down the line.

TL:DR : Taking art more seriously, tons of art studies and practice, just finished moving, drawing projects and W.I.P's, working on making a YouTube channel and picking up filmmaking?!?!?!?!

So, a bit ago I set off to do this 30 day "learn to draw" practice/routine/program thing by Marc Brunet on YouTube.

I picked it up because I've felt like I lacked a lot of knowledge regarding space and perspective that you'd typically learn practicing the fundamentals of art. I understood that I needed to make things look three dimensional, and had the smallest grasp on how to do that, but the core understanding and experience was something I lacked.

For anyone trying to learn how to draw, I highly recommend checking out this video and giving it a go! I'm not going to go over every single day's exercise I did, partly because I didn't actually finish the whole program... (There's so much to do lately hnngn)

But, I made this thing! Tada!

I'm also delving into making my first drawing timelapses in clip studio with these next couple of projects I'm currently working on...

One of them being a commission for a friend's DnD character, a sort of gambler themed vigilante called "Vermillion" that was made for my DnD setting, Benediction. Here's the progress I have so far on our resident card-thrower:

...Neat, right? This drawing was one of the most recent ones where I'm really trying to challenge myself with perspective, foreshortening, and composition work. I've fallen in love with painting and you'll most likely see it as a permanent addition to my art style.

A lot of that is thanks to Bluebiscuits, who's art style has been a massive inspiration to mine for a very long time. Their art guides have been invaluable to my creative growth, and they deserve all of the support they could possibly get.

They have a patreon, so maybe check that out if you're interested in their work. :>

The other big project I'm working on is actually design work for a very important character I'm making. This is tied into the potentiality of YouTube and all that would entail, so bare with me for this next part.

It's a kind of...mascot, of sorts. An evolution of my avatar(s) that I've been fucking with on and off for years at this point. It's kind of important to get that nailed down, because...well, it's the first thing people are gonna see when they check out my stuff, so, I needed to make a "face" for my art.

Especially if I want to do YouTube. Which...I do! I've wanted to have a creative outlet like that for a while. I have tons of things to say and share, and a lot of it would probably be best off in video format.

Plus, then I get to have an excuse to design an eldritch girl-thing to be on screen and talk for me. Yeah, the second project is a RantSona. I mean...it's more than just a rantsona, but this design has been workshopped to be used for that...while also doing other important things! Like being a hot eldritch horror-lady generally. A suitable vessel for my creative endeavors >:3

Meet "Hollow", or, I guess the early blueprints of Hollow. Hollow-to-be if you will:

Presto! What will most likely end up being my..."Mascot"? My avatar...thing. Me. Me but way cooler.

On the side there you can see some early attempts at making a good "talking mouth", all of which....didn't...look great. Mouths are hard it turns out! Even harder when you're making a puppet for entertainment purposes.

One day, one day there will be a marketable Hollow plush. One day.

I still have tons of work to do, I mean, look at this shit:

I have a lot to do. That drawing up there is the result of like...over a couple of weeks of design-work, reference gathering, and notetaking.

Which you cant get a little looksie at down here:

This was the early framework for giving myself direction. Haven't really ever done something like this for an art project, so it's been really damn cool seeing where it's led me. I'm definitely going to be using this kind of "set up" going forward for my creative endeavors.

In a way it feels like all of my progress so far was put to the test. I buckled the fuck up and really started trying to chisel at something...big. I made myself a work schedule, a posting schedule, and am (trying) to wake up at 9:00 every day to squeeze in as much time as possible.

I'm getting side-tracked, but, yeah! Framework! Moodboards! Milanote:

Milanote is actually fucking GOATED, I'd be absolutely crippled trying to make this project work without it's help. Those two little design sheets I made by hand in clip studio took honest to god days to make, when I could have used Milanote to just make a mood board...reference....thing...instead.

I ended up doing that regardless, cause I needed to make a vibe board to refer to during the building of Hollow's outfit/body design, which is also the stage I'm currently on in the whole process.

Literally all of it is just drag-and-drop. I didn't even need to download all of these images, cause Milanote just lets you drag an image off of a website and shove it in that bitch all easy-like. It's incredible.

You can add text, links, images, yadda yadda yadda, this sounds like a sponsorship but I am in fact just sharing the gospel of this unit of a website. It's good, it might help you, check it out? Do whatever you want.

Anyway, after making a good enough pool of references I started working on Hollow's body/outfit. I'm extra, so I wanted something eye-catching that won't...hopefully...be too distracting in a video. I mean...well, if its distracting in a bad way. I do like having eyes on me, after all. ;]

I've been rambling, so I'm going to try to be more concise from this point onward.

In order to really nail the character design I need to communicate the important bits effectively. That means a strong silhouette, shape language, design, and conveying the character properly. I mean, I'm trying to make an eldritch horror girl, here, if you can't tell that on first glance I did something wrong.

In summary, I gave myself six dummies to practice on. Using my candy pile on milanote I pick and choose various elements from designs I like and incorporate them into my own while keeping in mind the important elements I listed in my outline from earlier.

Ideally, by the time the sixth is finished, I'll have a good idea of what I like and don't like about each one, and can compile all of that into a "Pre-final draft" where I put it alllll together :3

The main thing is I'm trying to make her clothing look like it's a part of her. Kind of organic. Able to be changed at her will, her skin, basically. So there's lots of carapaces and warframe-like skin material there.

I'm very pleased with how it's going so far. Even just the second iteration looks fuckin' fantastic imo. Very Arrancar/Vasto Lorde (From Bleach). Good shit.

That's basically it. I probably skimmed over a lot of stuff, but at this point the caffeine and vyvanse is wearing off, and I'm crashinnnggg.

Before I go, the film I'm making. Yeah, so I needed practice learning a video editing software, especially if I was going to fuck around with a rantsona, so I've been editing a ton of Lethal Company footage I've saved over...quite a long damn time.

I wanted to do something a little bit more on-theme with me, my aesthetic, and the shit I want to do in the future, rather than just mash a bunch of "hehe funnies" together and call it a day. There will still be some of that, it is lethal company after all, but I wanted to be a little bit more dramatic than that...

The result is a meta-ey surreal analog horror style experience with some elements of an ARG. The primary premise is an artist's descent into madness, the game being "haunted", the power of belief, and artistic depictions of very real struggles I and many others have. Depression, isolation, loneliness, feelings of disconnection, and other things of that nature.

I find the contrast very fascinating. I've even reached out to several...oh god what's the word...? Music artist. Not musician. People who make digital music, like game OST's. Those.

I reached out to some people including a close friend of mine and "CAMA", one of the folks who contributed to making the sound overhaul mod "Lethal Resonance" for lethal company, for permission to use music, or in my friend's case make original music for the film. (My sentence structure is falling apart, I'm so sorry I'm almost done).

Cama has a soundcloud, check it out and give them some support, their music makes my ears happy.

Okay. That's it. I don't currently have a set title for this short film yet, but I do have a placeholder (That may just end up being the actual title. I don't fucking know dude, dinner is still cooking.) that I'll leave you with,

"I am not me."

If anybody actually read all of that, congrats! You're now one of my favorite people. Take care of yourself <3

#artists on tumblr #lethal company #filmmaking #oc artwork #art oc #digital art #digital artwork #digital painting #digital drawing #digital sketch #digital illustration #oc #art #my art #digital artist #hollownoire #hollowsays #hollowfood #youtube #art study #Youtube

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

So I’ve decided for absolutely no reason whatsoever that today would be a good day to look up this Sam Campbell person. I knew almost nothing about him, except a bit on his reputation. Last month I saw a picture from the 2023 Melbourne Comedy Festival, and I spent so long trying to identify the guy next to Tim Key, because I was so sure I knew who he was. I asked about it here, someone told me it’s Sam Campbell; I only vaguely recognized that name, but definitely did not know what that guy looked like, which confirmed that I did not actually recognize him. I only thought I recognized him because he looks exactly like a teammate of mine from university.

I have since then matched that name to the reputation that I did, in fact, vaguely know. To list the things I knew about him without Googling anything whatsoever: Is Australian. Looks like my old teammate. Won the Melbourne award that used to be named Barry and I think maybe isn’t anymore but also maybe still is, I think named after the Dame Edna comedian who died recently, and that seems to be a big deal. Also won the award that used to be called the Perrier and definitely isn’t anymore but because I have spent so much time going through Edinburgh comedy from the 00s I think I’m going to always call it that anyway. Considered to be good by proper comedy fans, the ones who actually go see this sort of thing live and know about this stuff (by which I mean: people who are cooler than me, a person who created a Tumblr blog so I could post about panel shows).

I decided today that I would look this person up, and it turns out he’s got a comedy special on YouTube:

First of all, I need to address something that is not at all important but it was still enough to distract me throughout the hour: he did not just seem familiar in that picture because he looks like one guy I used to train with, he looks very much like about eight different guys I used to train with, and looks vaguely like another forty or so of them. People joke, in the sport of wrestling, about there being a certain “look” that would let you recognize one of them on the street even if you didn’t know them. That is the look. That guy in the video, that’s the look. That is what all wrestlers between the ages of 17 and 27 look like. Which may or may not be a compliment depending on Sam Campbell’s actual age at the time of recording, I’m guessing it’s early thirties, but he looks exactly like every university-aged wrestler. It’s not important, but it was so noticeable that it distracted me as I tried to watch him. I had difficulty getting lost in the comedy because looking at a guy who looks like that makes my brain not process it as a comedy video, and instead expect him to dive at someone’s ankle. Not his fault, but definitely an issue.

Anyway, when I managed to get past that, the actual comedy show was quite entertaining. Quite a few of the jokes would be average at best if they were just written down on paper, but very funny when he delivered them. A couple of times I found myself in the middle of laughing, and stopping to ask, “Is this joke inherently funny? Or is he just funny?” Doesn’t really matter though, it still works. Also, about ten times across the hour he said something legitimately clever enough for me to say, “Okay, you could write that one down on a piece of paper and it would still be hilarious,” and that’s a pretty good rate for that sort of thing.

A lot of it is observational, but observational taken to amusingly extreme logical conclusions, I’ve rarely seen observational turn into surreal quite so quickly. My favourite part of the show was a routine about moving company workers that straddled that line perfectly, expressing something that’s sort of real and familiar but also absolutely ludicrous.

And he really committed to the bit with setting up the whole thing through a sniper lens. I kept thinking he’d drop that partway through, but nope, that was just there, all the way along, for one joke from the beginning. I don’t know, maybe it was supposed to have some sort of meaning? Hard to tell, doesn’t really matter, the commitment made it funny.

I do like a narrative and a theme in a comedy show, and this didn’t have that. I believe there was one callback throughout the entire thing. But that’s all right, because it was funny. It was a lot of funny stuff thrown together in ways that only barely make sense, but barely making sense was sort of the point, I think. There wasn’t really a point at all, and that may have also been the point. He managed to be high energy while giving the impression of the opposite, and did not run out of steam. He had a really funny joke about David and Goliath. It was fun to watch. If he went to a mid-level university tournament I would never be able to pick him out of the crowd, honestly, it’s fucking distracting. He’d have to watch his back or someone would give him an MVP award or something, to put with his MVP of Edinburgh and Melbourne trophies, because he looks so much like an amalgamation of the last six guys to win MVP of this tournament. That is not his fault, though. It’s fine. He’s very entertaining.

[thefanficmonster]

Begone

Streamer Gang & Asexual Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Acephobia, Swearing

Genre: Platonic Fluff, Comfort, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having recently come out as asexual, Y/N faces some less than pleasant or appropriate responses in their chat during their stream with the gang. Luckily, they’re not alone in battling the haters this time.

Requested by the lovely Anon who told acephobes to begone, yeah you know who you are hehe. Thank you so much for the request darling! Let’s show these acehobes who they’re messing with! Love, Vy ❤

Boy is this nerve-wrecking or what? Sure, I maybe woke up with a ton of confidence, I listened to motivational and uplifting talks and listened to mood boosting music. I had a healthy breakfast and a cup of coffee. Damn it, I went on a run, all in an attempt to convince myself that dealing with the online world again is but a piece of cake for a badass like me. Well, low and behold, that feeling didn’t last very long. Here I am, chewing my nails off at the though of hopping in the Discord call and Among Us lobby with my friends and starting my stream. It’s not like I’m not expecting my friends and fans to support me - of course I am! I know they’re gonna give me a ton of love and appreciation and support and uplift me no matter what. But then again, there’s still those people who believe me and other people like me to be invalid and broken and whatnot.

Those are the ones I wanna avoid. 

It’s not like their words mean much to me but I simply don’t wanna see em, you know? It’s not only about me - it’s least about me actually - it’s more about all those wonderful people they are insulting when they say shit like that about asexuals and all the people on the ace spectrum. I can’t help but flare up and get angry on the behalf of all my ace friends and even people I’ve never met.

It’s also my first time being directly thrown into the fire instead of getting caught in the crossfire seeing as how I came out to my fandom via a tweet and an Instagram post a week ago, telling my identity’s truth: finally bringing my asexuality to the surface to shine its brightest so I can be be my best and reach for my full potential.

But damn am I afraid to see how everyone took it. 

My friends were quick to jump in and take me offline before I start refreshing my own posts to see the comments under them. Lord knows that without them I would’ve driven myself insane, I’ll forever be grateful for what they did and the lengths they went to to keep me offline and whatnot. One word to give you an idea of how invested they were in this: origami. All of us might as well have been born with two left hands and yet we still tried doing origami. Freaking origami.

Damn do I love my friends.

But now I don’t have sheets of paper and my friends to distract me. I have a fanbase to entertain and another friend group I haven’t talked to in a while. I don’t wanna get any predictions in already so I don’t jinx myself, so I’m just gonna say it’s gonna be...interesting regardless of what happens.

Then again, when is it not interesting when the streamer gang’s involved.

Deep breaths, Y/N. You got this

Listening to that encouraging little voice inside my head, I finally equip my headphones and in one fluid motion turn my camera on, officially starting my stream and unmuting my mic as I hop in the call with everyone.

“Hi guys! Guess who’s returned!“ I exclaim cheerfully, desperate to hide the nervousness of my voice.

“You really missed your opportunity to say ‘guess who’s back...back again’ didn’t you?“ Charlie is the one who greets me first, sounding rather disappointed in me in his usual jokester manner. It’s nice to hear, it makes me feel like nothing’s changed in the week I’ve been gone. Like I’m still the same person to these people. I really am the same, I just now am a lot better version of myself. Almost as though I’ve reached my final form. It feels empowering really. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Charlie laughs again, “Congrats, by the way. You keep proving you can get cooler and cooler.“

“Careful there Charlie, I can only handle so large of an ego.“ I joke back, rolling my eyes playfully as a wide grin spreads across my face, “No, but seriously, thank you so much, man. It means the world to me that you support me.“

“Um, how could we NOT?“ That’s very clearly Rae, “Hun, you are so brave and amazing and wonderful, how could we ever NOT support you?“

“Yeah, we’ll always support you no matter what, Y/N. We’ll always be your friends, through thick, thin and beyond.“ Poki too interferes, her words only making my smile wider.

“Alright, alright, y’all are gonna make me cry and I haven’t even read my chat yet, hold on.“ I say, fanning my face to dry the tears I hope the webcam isn’t spotting, “Darn, you guys are the best. Sorry, give me a sec to gather my composure, I’ll be right back.“

I quickly mute my in-game mic as I turn to my chat where I see the same amount of love and support in the form of comments and emojis flooding in from my viewers. A warm feeling spreads throughout my chest, making me feel the most comfortable with myself I’ve ever felt. The most loved I’ve ever felt. The most seen and understood. To finally be you feels like you are finally really living in this world, not like you’ve been already living in it for God knows how long. It makes me so freaking happy and fulfilled to finally be living as me, as the real me.

Unfortunately, in life, nothing can be 100% pure and good. There’s always at least 1% there threatening to ruin all your happiness you worked so hard to build or obtain. It may be one in a hundred, but fuck it’s powerful and effective.

And in my case it comes in the form of two comments that stick out to my eyes. Acephobic comments saying my identity’s fake, claiming I’m faking it, saying us acephobes are immature creatures who refuse to grow up, or attention whores. Or just saying we’re delusional and in denial, confused about who we are.

I hadn’t even realized I was clenching my jaw and fists but when I do, I slowly relax my muscles and crack my knuckles before addressing the two people who spat out that nonsense.

“Ok, listen here, shooterpro69 and yourmom_lol. For starters, I want to apologize for your ignorance and lack of education on the matter of asexuality. In fact, for you especially, I plan on making an educational video, explaining asexuality to people who need or want to learn more. You, my friends, are in desperate need to be fed some knowledge cause damn, God knows how many people secretly think you’re hella stupid. Not that they’re wrong to think so but anyway. Unless you have anything nice or positive to say, begone from my chat. Actually, when I think about it, begone from every chat. No one needs you polluting their communities with acephobia and hate.“ I say, all spoken in a calm tone despite the boiling anger within me. People who know me well would probably be able to tell I’m fuming underneath the calm façade, but at least I got my message across loud and clear.

“WOO HOO, You tell em Y/N!“ Toast cheers, clapping his hands and whistling as more cheering arises from each my friends, leaving me in a state of mild shock and confusion.

Wait, what?!

“Um, wait, you guys heard that?“ I ask, my eyes darting to thein-game mic symbol that shows an not crossed-off mic, meaning it was enabled during the entirety of my speech.

“Hell yeah we did! You slayed them, Y/N! Damn goddamn!“ Rae whistles too, her enthusiasm wafting over me like a breath of fresh air.

“I second that!“ Corpse joins in, “And remember what we said - we’ll support you through anything. Need to bury an acephobe’s body, we’re the people you should call.” He says, confident as heck.

And I just can’t hold it in anymore - I burst out laughing, doubling over from the intensity.

If I thought I was happy and fulfilled before, this has to be the closest to paradise I’m gonna get on Earth.  All thanks to these wonderful people. Friends are really something else aren’t they: they come into your life - often unexpectedly - and change it completely. Suddenly you’re not alone, you’re not forced to deal with everything and face everything on your own. Someone’s got your back and you’ve got theirs.

Through thick, thin and beyond.

And it’s so fucking amazing.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse  @sunnyrae-cessh  @ladykxxx08  @meowiemari

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse fanfiction #corpse fanfic #valkyrae #rae #sykkuno #sykkuno fanfic #sykkuno fanfiction #valkyrae fanfic #disguised toast #moistcr1tikal #moistcritical #moistcr1tikal fanfic #penguinz0 #poki #pokimane #amigops #corpse among us #sykkuno among us #among us #asexuality #asexual #support asexuals #end acephobia #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #fandom #fluff

[duhragonball]

‘21

Amidst all the popular hype for seeing the end of 2020, it didn’t hit me until about lunchtime what the real highlight is that I’ve been waiting for: For the first time since 1999, the year finally ends in “numberty-number” again.    It low-key irritated me that we had to call it “two thousand three” and I was relieved when “twenty-thirteen” caught on, but it still wasn’t right because it was too short, and now we’re back in the sweet spot, and I should be safely dead by 2100, so that’s one less thing I gotta deal with.

Really, even “numberty hundred” rings true to me.    “Nineteen hundred” sounds like a year.    “Twenty-one-oh-six” sounds like a futur-y year, which is even cooler.   So did “Two thousand five”, until I was actually living in it, and it sounds even worse now that it was a long time ago and adults will talk about their childhood happening in that year.    Daniel Witwicky would be old enough to get married and grow a fancier beard than me.    That’s nuts.    My point is that, honestly, it’s the year 3000-3019 that I have to worry about, so if I ever decide to go vampire, those will be the years I hide in the ocean or force society to reset the calendar, whichever’s easier.  

I spent New Year’s Eve finishing Superliminal, which I bought on Steam after I watched Vegeta play it on YouTube.  It has a similar look and feel to the Stanley Parable, so if you liked one you’d probably enjoy the other, although Superliminal has a different theme.  I kept hoping I’d find some secret passage that I wasn’t supposed to take, and a narrator would scold me for finding the “Chickenbutt Ending”, but it doesn’t work that way.    Superliminal’s all about puzzles and awesome visuals, but it does have the same soothing design aesthetics as TSP.   Honestly, I enjoyed just wandering around in Stanley’s office, and Superliminal does the same thing with a hotel and several other settings.   It’s nice.

This got me thinking about how I kind of did everything there was to do in The Stanley Parable, and I sort of wished they would add new stuff to the game, but I’m not sure there would be much point to that.    I could play the older version, but it presents the same message, just with different assets.   The Boss’s Office would look different, but it’d be the same game.   And this got me thinking about various “secret chapters” in pop culture.  Secrets behind the cut.

I first heard about this idea in the 2000′s, when fans invented this notion that there was a secret chapter of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.    I read a website that tried to explain the concept, and of course it lauded J.K. Rowling with all this gushing praise for working an Easter egg into the book, a literary work of “well, magic.”  

That pretty well sums up my distaste for Harry Potter, by the way.    These days, JKR has thoroughly crapped all over her reputation and legacy, but in the 2000′s it felt like half the planet was in a mad rush to canonize her as a writing goddess, to the point where fans were congratulating her for writing secret chapters that didn’t actually exist.   The idea was based on lore from the books about Neville Longbottom’s parents.    They were patients in a mental hospital, and he’d go to visit them, and they would give him bubble gum wrappers, intended to demonstrate how far remove they’ve become from reality.   The secret chapter lies in those wrappers, which all read “Droobles Best Blowing Gum” or some such.    What if Neville’s parents were only pretending to be mentally ill, so as to throw off their enemies?   Naturally, they would want to stay in contact with their son, so the bubble gum wrappers would have to contain coded messages.    Said code involves unscrambling the letters on the wrappers to make new words, like “goblin” or “sword” or “Muggle” or “Dumbledore”.    The problem is that you can also use it to make other words like “booger” or “drool” or “booobbiess.”   Play with it enough, and you can make the code say anything you want it to say, which means it’s no code at all.   

But the idea was that the not-yet-published sixth HP book would reveal all of this gum wrapper nonsense, and Neville would decode the messages and discover all of his parents’ super-cool adventures.   I’m not sure why we needed a secret chapter if Book 6 was going to explain all of this anyway in several not-secret chapters, but that was the whole point.   Fans didn’t have Book 6 yet, and they were so desperate to read it that they started trying to extrapolate what would happen next based on “clues” from the previous five.    That’s like trying to figure out what Majin Buu looks like by watching the Androids Saga.   I guess some wiseguy would have guessed that he’d resemble #19, but that’d just be blind luck.  

And when you get down to it, this whole secret chapter business is really just a conspiracy.   This is literally how Qanon works.   Some anonymous jackass posted vague “hints” on an imageboard, and people went goofy trying to interpret them and figure out what would happen in the future.   They call it “research” because they spend a ton of time on this, but there’s no basis to any of it.    It took me a few minutes to figure out that you can spell “Muggle” with the words in “Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum”, but that’s not research and it doesn’t prove anything.   But all these guys keep looking for “Hilary Clinton goes to jail next week” and lo and behold that’s all they ever find.   

In the same vein, the gum wrapper thing was really a complaint disguised as a conspiracy, disguised as a “magical secret chapter”.   At least a few fans wanted to see more Neville in their Harry Potter books, they wanted Neville’s parents, or someone like them, to have cool spy adventures or whatever else.   The point is, they clearly weren’t getting what they wanted out of the printed works, but they didn’t want to turn against their Dear Beloved Author, so they started casting about for an alternative reality, one where J.K. Rowling wrote a cooler story and hid it in the pages of the one that actually went to press.    So instead of just saying “Hey, Order of the Phoenix was kind of a letdown, I hope there’s more ninjas in the next book,” they said “Rowling is a genius because I wanted ninjas and she’s definitely going to give them to me, I have the gum wrappers to prove it.”

The same thing happened all over again when the BBC Sherlock show took a turn for the nonsensical.    I don’t know from BBC Sherlock, but I watched the fascinating video critique by Hbomberguy, and it sounds like the show did tons of plot twists until it stopped making sense altogether in the fourth season.    If you skip to 1:09:00 in the video, you’ll hear about fan theories that suggested that season four was supposed to be crappy, as part of a secret meta-narrative plan that would be paid off in a secret, unannounced episode that would not only explain everything, but retroactively justify the crappy episodes that came before.    But it’s been a few years and it never came to pass, so I think we can call this myth busted. 

Most recently, I think we’ve all seen a lot of talk about the final season of Supernatural, where I guess Destiel sort of became canon but only one guy does the love confession and the other doesn’t respond.   But I guess he does say “I love you too”  in the Spanish dub, which means the English language version was edited for whatever reason.    It’s not exactly a secret episode, but the implication is that there’s more to this than what made it to the screen.    So the questions turn to what the screenplay said, what the writers and actors wanted to do, etc. etc.    My general impression is that SPN fans are a bit more used to crushing disappointment, so they’re not quite as delusional about this show being unquestionable genius, like Sherlock and Harry Potter.     Maybe this is an Anglophile thing?   Like, if you suck at something with a British accent, people will accept it more unconditionally?   

I had seen something on Twitter about how there should have been a secret Seinfeld episode in the 90′s.    Someone suggested it at the time, they tape a whole episode, then wait until 2020 to air it, because by then it would be worth a fortune.    But they didn’t do it, because it costs a lot of money to make a TV episode, and if you don’t air the show right away, you aren’t making that money back any time soon.    Yeah, you might recoup a fortune someday, but Seinfeld was making a ton of money then.    It exposes the fannish nature of the idea.    A fan would love to discover a cool secret chapter, but a content creator isn’t necessarily keen on making a cool thing and then hiding it where few people would find it.  

I thought about doing this myself recently.   Maybe Supernatural gave me the bug, but I thought “I’m writing this big-ass story, so what if I wrote me a secret chapter for it?   Wouldn’t that be cool?”     But no, it wouldn’t be cool, because it’d be the same work as writing a regular chapter, and the same stress I feel when I hold off on publishing it.    Except I’d just never publish it, I’d put it in some secret hole on the internet and hope that some superfan who might not even exist can decode whatever clues I leave.  

I mean, it’d be awesome if it got discovered and everyone loved it.    “Hey, I found this hidden chapter!   Mike’s done it again!”   And I could bask in the glory.   But what if no one finds it?  Then I just wasted my time, right?   I want people to read my work.   My monkey brain needs the sweet, sweet validation of those kudos and comments, folks.   Once I realized that, I understood why no one else would want to do a secret chapter either.    Easter eggs are one thing, but the bigger bonus features they put on DVDs were pretty easy to find, and with good reason.

I think that’s what made the Stanley Parable so appealing to play, because it teases you with the idea that you can “break” the game and find some extra content that you weren’t supposed to see, but as you go exploring all those hidden areas, it gradually becomes clear that this is just part of the game; you were meant to find all these things, and that’s why they were put here.      It’s hidden, but he secret aspect of it is just pretend.   

I suppose that what I like about games like TSP and Superliminal is the illusion of secrets more than the secrets themselves.    I like roaming through the hallways, having no idea what I might find ahead.    I kind of wish I could open all the doors, and not just the ones the game designers put stuff behind, but the reality is that there’s nothing on the other side.    I used a cheat code once  to explore the unused doors in TSP and it’s just a bright white field on the other side.   Interesting to look at, but not much of a reveal.   Honestly, the doors themselves are more appealing than anything that could lay behind them.  

And that’s probably what makes secrets so fun.   They could be almost anything, but once you open the present, the number of possibilities drops to one.   If they had ever made that Secret BBC Sherlock Episode, I doubt it would have lived up to expectations, but fans could amuse themselves by imagining what could have been in it.    In the end, though, things usually don’t justify the hype.  For every Undertaker debut at Survivor Series 1990, there’s a Gobbledygooker debut at Survivor Series 1990.   It’s impossible to manufacture a secret with a guaranteed payoff.   

[kob131]

"I give it one season before it bombs." I mean, Scars is all the way up to v5 (middle of the battle of haven) and planned to go to v6, & its super well recieved. Ya really sure this new rewrite project on tumblr is just gonna be given up or as you put it 'bombs' when its going a similar route of focusing on the racism & lgbt elements as Scars did? Or maybe you cant accept fans can do a better job telling rwbys story than miles can?

Oh you wanna get technical huh?

RWBY Scars Hits:  33,915

RWBY Volume 6 Episode 13 Views:  397,867

The hits from both parts COMBINED. pale in comparison to the latest episode on Youtube.

‘Well those two aren’t comparable!’

You’re right.

The episode was uploaded...what, a year after it initially aired so most the views are on the Rooster Teeth original video where we can’t see the view count? And It’s uploaded to Rooster Teeth’s Animation channel which is significantly less known than their main channel (1.04 million vs. 9.47 million). All of which would significantly lower it’s view count.

Meanwhile, Scars hasn’t been moved to another platform and wasn’t moved to a less popular place and hasn’t been uploaded somewhere after it’s intimal relevance.

This is all ignoring one teeny tiny factor-

RWBY SCARS IS NOT A REWRITE.

It is not sold as a rewrite and it was not intended to be a rewrite. Which means it won’t trigger 70% of the fandom’s red flags and won’t inherently be up it’s own ass. Thing about rewrites is that they’re so overwhelmingly written by people so sure of RWBY’s ‘shittiness’ that they never see that the show avoided several pitfalls they fucking dive right into.

Here, let me take a post and showcase this.

(https://criticaaaaaaaal.tumblr.com/post/615857231761686528/im-remaking-siennas-semblance-fighting-style)

semblance: red flower. sienna can create fire that begins from her tail. it spreads up her back & can be focused in her arms or her feet. sienna can then shoot the fire off of her as an attack via her tail, arms, or legs.

weapon: sensnii doll. a pair of two metal fans painted yellow with short red ribbons near the handles. they can open & close like traditional fans, & they are sharp enough to be able to act as melee weapons. sienna can also block with them.

fighting style: sienna starts off most fights from a distance, using her fans to help her direct fire at opponents. if they get too close, sienna still uses her semblance to attack, but focuses on hand to hand combat. she uses her fans to strike & block.

What does this represent about Sienna? Semblances are meant to represent aspects of a character’s personality. So what does her semblance represent? 

What about her weapons? What does her fighting style tell us about her? 

I can tell you that Adam’s fighting style is all about looking like he’s in control through his swordsmanship and use of overwhelming power but the moment he’s faced with a situation he can’t control, his style starts failing him as he loses more and more composure and misuses his Semblance. While his Semblance revolves around using damage against him to his opponent’s detriment, like how his path of vengeance is the result of other’s actions, but he avoids actually dealing with the damage and instead chooses to try and block it, like how he avoids actually dealing with his issues and instead lashes out.

This? I don’t fucking know what any of this means. They don’t have anything else about Sienna in their blog so how should I know?

And that’s the problem with this shit- It’s incredibly SHALLOW. There is nothing to dig into, nothing to try and understand, nothing to draw the person in- it’s just there to look cool. And considering the other things that are far cooler, far more respectable and far deeper than this (example: Every Gainax and Trigger anime made)- There would be no reason to enjoy this other than to say it’s better the original...and that’ll eventually die out.

I know it’s gonna bomb because I’ve already seen other rewrites bomb. And NO ONE has learned a thing from it so history will just repeat. You can pretend that it won’t happen- History doesn’t lie.

[nightwillow18]

Happy One Year

Fair Warning: This is a long, personal, and very sappy post.

So I’ve come to the realization that it has been about one year since I started using this blog again. The closest date I can find for the beginning is September 2019. This blog had sat dormant since like 2016. 

I’m not sure what drew me back to Tumblr but I do know that I was in a uneasy place at the time. I had just lost my college scholarship and was saddled with almost $2,000 in debt. I was taking the Fall Semester off due to all the stress college had caused me over the last 4 semesters. I took time off because I was having constant anxiety attacks over work loads from college. I luckily still had both my jobs but even then I didn’t really have a social life outside of work. My home life was also not very pleasant.

Then I found all these different Youtuber and Youtuber Ego blogs that I started to follow. As well as finding lots of Youtube Fanfic writers and artists. I began interacting with these blogs and eventually in November started making my own posts and reblogging stuff over to my page.

Things started to lighten up for me in Spring, I went back to college and reconnected with one of my friends from college. I was doing ok in the two classes I was taking. Then as everyone knows, Quarantine hit. I had just joined Discord and was in one with my college friend and her friends. Then my long time hated laptop’s hard drive gave out and I lost a lot of old videos. And my depression and anxiety came back with a bite.

I eventually got a new laptop and made some casual friends through the Discord. Though, it still felt like there was a disconnect, like these were my friend’s friends not necessarily my close friends. There still felt like something was missing.

In June/May I learned about a Discord for people who were fans of a specific Fanfic and blog I followed for a while. I thought I’d give it a try. Little did I know this Discord is where I’d make some amazing friends. At first, I was nervous no one would like me or they would think that I was annoying. I was nervous about interacting with people I looked up to. Very quickly I figured out that everybody was just book nerds like me. I soon became more comfortable sharing personal experiences and just joking around with everyone. Heck they even gave me the moniker I now go by on all my socials. Whether it was geeking out over literature, watching silly shows, or causing chaos over random things, I felt like I had found my tribe.

And now somehow I’m at nearly 50 followers with many mutuals and people I call friends on this site. Even some blogs I’d always thought were/are way cooler than I’d ever be.

 I just wanna say thank you for giving this loner weirdo a chance. If you told me a year ago or even back in March that I’d have a group of friends that liked and accepted me, I’d think you were pulling my leg. 

Growing up I never had a friend group, just one maybe two friends who a lot of the time would throw me aside when they didn’t need me anymore. So having this group of friends, that even if we only know each other online and don’t always chat due to real life happening, means a lot to me.

Happy One Year to this trash blog and lets hope it lasts another.

I’m sorry if this is sappy or overreacting or cringey but I felt the need to put these feelings out into the universe.

#nights rants #nights issues #nights thoughts #love to all my mutuals #love to everybody on the dmc discord #sorry this is cringey #I'm just a huge sap

[atrixfromice]

These infamous videos that tell you how to steal art

Hi there folks! Today's "late night rambling" I'm going to talk about something I've been recently seen being popular on youtube, and I know they are popular because I've seen them on youtube homepage! Is videos that tell you how to steal art from patreon. A.k.a. "see Patreon content for free"

But that is stealing! And I'll tell you why!

....in fact, I've posted a comment on one of those videos because it really disturbed me how contradictory is that in the comments there was a lot of people who thanked this guy and said they were willing to steal artworks from artists they supposed to appreciate and admire! O_O

And even if this have not happened to me yet, I know a friend who lost her job last year due Covid quarantine, and whose only way to survive since then has been commissions and Patreon. And have been his art stolen from his patreon.

Plus, I've lost my job due Covid as well so I know how it feels and how stressful can be to have bills to pay and not to have a job. So I felt the need to say this to the internet in general.

So here's the quote of what I wrote on youtube:

Well as a fellow artist, I feel bad for these people cos feel their pain, so I think this is needed to be said to everyone in general. And I'll try to say this in the nicest way possible. If you're a real fan of an artist and you like their creations, wouldn't you think it would be cooler to pledge their patreon and pay to support them instead of stealing their works?

Remember that artists also have groceries to buy and bills to pay, and that artists related jobs are one of the most affected job fields by the COVID-19 crisis because they don't think we artist are "necessary" as it is the alimentary jobs and medical jobs for example.

Lots of artists (some are friends of mine) I know have lost their jobs and have Patreon as a help to survive. So by doing this you're taking away the money they could use to pay their bills.

Moreover, the saddest thing is that some of these artists patreon work is mostly work in process, which means this work is in pilot/test mode and not ready to be seen by pubic yet. So you steal and repost patreon art on the internet, you're not only stealing other people's art, but maybe even also risquing the artist career by showing all the internet stuff that is not ready for their targeted public or that they probably will be embarrassed about showing it to someone else that is not their beta testers that are their patrons.

Also I talk about this because I have a Patreon and recently I've got to know how it feels to have patrons on it.

I have never had patrons since I opened my patreon, but I just got to have two patrons at the start of February this year, and it's awesome!! it's really exciting to have someone who takes the time to pledge and pay to give you their feedback and love in a more personal way. And who is happy to be your betta tester on your artistic projects.

Also cos I'm one of these artists who post a lot of storyboarding, work in process, ans pilot work. And not all my stories/characters get to be seen by the public, because some of them are just not ready or not good enough, or I have to polish the story plot/character designs. And that's why I made Patreon in my case in fact, because I needed open minded people to be my beta testers for testing some ideas that I have but might be controversial for posting them on the internet right away, without knowing the reaction they might cause on people.

So I just would like to talk about this subject in particular to invite to reflection about why stealing art from artists on Patreon is not a cool thing to do.

And mostly, don't steal artworks from artists on Patreon to repost them online! Because you don't know if they are work in process/pilot work and doing this might ruin the future career of an artist who is a good person and doesn't deserve it.

[codylabs]

The Future

It’s late at night and I’m tired and I can’t sleep because I’m filled with regret for the projects I never finished and the stories I never told. Mostly fanfictions and comics from Gravity Falls. Stuff about Dipper and Wendy, and about their daughter, and about the lizard dimension, and about the librarian, and about the beast you forget about whenever you look at it, and about the cat well, which isn’t anything at all like what it sounds like. A hundred little ideas for cool things to show and jokes to tell, but instead I’ve spent the last 2 years killing time and watching Youtube videos whenever I’m home, and now I’ve fooled myself into thinking I didn’t have the time to do any of the stuff I wanted to do. I could’ve written a whole entire sequel to the Forest of Daggers by now, and all I’ve got to show for that time is a couple jokes, and a Metroid comic that I also need to finish.

I had such stories to tell you.

I know at some point, some point soon, I’m gonna have to abandon fanfiction for good, for real this time, and sink my teeth into a real project, an original project, and pour my imagination and time into it the same way I did with Gravity Falls. Prominently now in my mind are ideas on how to rewrite the Forest of Daggers to divorce it from the show, including but not limited to, replacing Bill with the Grey Star, replacing Mabel with a kid a lot like my brother, scrapping Soos and the Grunks for new characters, and ambiguousizing the very crust of the planet itself. And unlike the previous, where a sequel/future tale/next generation story would have to involve The Baby and Bill and dabble in a lot of Gravity Falls’ sillier worldbuilding, I could go completely ham with the new universe. And the opportunity will also be siezed to tie all my stories past and present together, to make a narrative the size of galaxies, a hundred adventures with a hundred characters in a hundred eras on a hundred planets, all tied together by the threads of history, and heritage, and good, solid, hard-scifi, consistent worldbuilding. Seeds have been planted in my head concerning the Natives of the Void, and the Nortusk Cursade, and the Bottomless Pit (no not that one, a cooler one) and the Odyssey to destroy the time machine, and the secret forging of the neutrino beam, and the Battleship Perseverence, and the Research Vessel Daylight Siren, and Madame Ironclad, and miscellaneous other interesting-sounding things which I don’t expect to mean anything to you.

I have SUCH stories to tell you.

But I know pretty much all my fans came here to my blog for the fanfiction. Most of you won’t be quite as interested in the new things I have cooking. And I know I haven’t done you any favors these last few years by being so inconsistent on the blog, bouncing from Gravity Falls to Metroid and back, killing time with text posts and April Fools jokes and Wendip art with no actual kissing, etc... Maybe you like that, maybe you’re fine with it, but if I had to pick a reason for people to follow me, I’d prefer it not to be because we share a fandom or a ship, but because you like to treat yourself to stories about heroes and monsters and morals and adventure and robots, and I deliver. And I haven’t been delivering. And that makes me sad.

But most of you have still stuck with me the whole way, and that really warms my ribcage, so for you, I’d really like to give my Gravity Falls universe a proper send-off. A good, rich, proper send-off. I don’t know if that’s a comic, or one last fanfiction, or a next-generation fic where everyone dies (jk calm down), but I’d like some way for my GF followers to finally unfollow me with no regrets and with full satisfaction, knowing that I’m really done for good. I’m kinda tired of the suspense myself.

And the Metroid comic too. I really gotta finish that.

[ashdoescomics]

alright tumblr let’s get theorizing

Chase. #1 trending on YouTube currently, and one of the biggest things the JSE community has been waiting for. Evident from some asks, Sean himself said that this is the most information put out about Chase and it’s jam packed with background hidden in plot points and setups. Now, I’m no Sherlock Holmes, but my AP English classes have taught me how to write so you bet I’m gonna put that knowledge to use. (cue Ryan Bergara BFU voiceover) With that being said, let’s get into some theories. ((hey!! scroll all the way down to the bottom of this long ass post for the TL;DR if you don’t wanna read it all!!))

We open with Chase entering the scene of what is presumably his house/apartment. An eviction notice is taped on his door, which states that he must vacate the premises no later than September of 2019. Eviction notices are only given to a a judgment debtor (which is specified in the notice itself), meaning that Chase probably hasn’t paid his rent in full, or at all for that matter. This can be further backed up by the fact that in the very first video where we were introduced to Chase Brody, he seemed to be making his “Bro Average” videos as a way of not only coping with his failed marriage, but for coming up with a paycheck. Videos can possibly be his source of income, and it would make sense that as a struggling content creator, Chase is only living by scraping up what he has left (which I think explains the excited facade he puts up throughout the “Bro Average” vids despite his true depressed nature).

Chase then goes to his car and opens the driver’s side door, from which garbage spills out. This could be symbolic of the cluttered headspace Chase Brody has been in ever since the events of “Bro Average”, or it could also show that Chase has been evicted for some time now and spends his time living in his car (or both! We are theorizing after all!)

In this shot, where he rummages through his glove box, we catch a glimpse of the same whiskey bottle present in the end of the video “Tie- A Game About Depression”. This can be attributed to his coping mechanism of drinking, which is obviously a common theme surrounding Mr. Brody.

As he’s looking in the glove box, we see “another Sean” in the back seat, staring at Chase. As of right now, this scene can be totally up in the air as to what it means or if it’s real or not, but I just have a few thoughts on this. First, this could be a dreamlike sequence (which I’ll get back to later) in which Chase (or another ego) is looking back on the past and what happened to see what went wrong. Second, this could be taking place in real time, in which Chase’s manifestation of his inner demon is tangibly symbolized by another “him”. Seeing double usually symbolizes the duality of man or duality of a certain character, and Chase is no exception. Considering the mental state Chase must be in at this moment, it’s possible that this scene symbolizes the inner turmoil or torn feelings he has.

He pulls out a photo from his glove box, which we can assume to be of his wife Stacey and his unnamed kid, and proceeds to have a mental breakdown in his car, yelling and hitting his wheel. In most movies, this is a breaking point similar to a character punching a mirror or trashing up a room. Bottled up emotions from his past being triggered by one photo further solidifies Chase’s unstable mental state.

Fast forward a bit, and Chase decides to drive up to the woods, which seems to be a place that he holds dearly (more on that later). As previously mentioned, I just want to bring back up the possibility that this entire thing could be a dream or fantasy sequence, because of the strange use of a fish eye lens when Chase enters the woods. Fisheye lenses are used to make the photographed scene appear more panoramic and it’s typically a wide shot lens used for photos, but for some reason it stuck out to me when it was used in this video. Now, I could just be overanalyzing things here, but distortion lenses, when used in videos or movies, can be symbolic of a dreamlike sequence. This could mean that the woods section of this video is all just happening in his head, and the “extra Sean” we saw in the backseat of the car is just Chase reliving what happened in the past (implying that this entire video, up until the end where Chase is in the parking lot, happened in the past). BUT I DIGRESS

Chase walks through the woods and settles on a spot where a tower of rocks are balanced and thIS MY FRIENDS is where I found my most compelling piece of evidence. He pulls out the polaroid photo, kisses it, and sets it down at the base of the rock structure, and this was SUCH A BIG THING I had to google it. What I came up with was an article with the quote about balanced rocks: “These piles aren’t true cairns, the official term for deliberately stacked rocks. From middle Gaelic, the word means “mound of stones built as a memorial or landmark.” There are plenty of those in Celtic territories, that's for sure, as well as in other cultures; indigenous peoples in the United States often used cairns to cover and bury their dead. Those of us who like to hike through wilderness areas are glad to see the occasional cairn, as long as it's indicating the right way to go at critical junctions in the backcountry.” 

WELL WELL WELL look what we have HERE! These balanced rocks, aka cairns, act almost like headstones for the deceased and a path guide in the wilderness. Which, funny enough, is what we’re probably looking at right here in this shot! Chase putting the photo at the base of the cairn most likely means that his wife and child are unfortunately deceased, which may or may not be due to his own actions (reference back to Chase’s mental breakdown at the sight of the polaroid photo-- he doesn’t seem to take even just looking at the photo well). This cairn is also in a spot that Chase seems very familiar with, especially because he settles down fairly quickly, taking a swig of his whiskey on a boulder nearby. Chances are, there’s some history in this neck o’ the woods and it could be the spot of cherished memories with Chase’s family. I’d also like to point out that there is a certain scene at the end of one of Sean’s videos titled “Dark Silence”, in which we hear children’s screams and presumably Chase yelling, “What did you do to them?”. Could the death of his family and the ending of “Dark Silence” be tied together? POSSIBLY SO!! Am I implying that Anti might have some foul play involved with the Brody family?? MaYbEE!!! 

Finally, we reach the end of the 4 minute video, in which Chase is seemingly teleported to the top of a parking lot complex. He looks around confused and a little nervous or worried, and he checks over the edge of the railing and feels himself as if to make sure he’s in one piece. I think this is a strange detail to add in, especially since it’s the one we end on and are therefore stuck with. Personally, I think that the transition out of the woods sequence was Chase snapping back into reality, realizing that there’s something he has to do. Let me elaborate: the woods sequence sandwiched in between the beginning and the end of this short stuck out like a sore thumb to me. Unlike the start (where Chase is greeted with the eviction notice and he enters his car) and the end (where he ends up on the parking lot complex), the woods sequence in between is clearly different; taking place away from the city, nature is clearly evident and more dominant, and it’s taken in a warmer color. Now this might just be me and my “so-you’re-tryna-be-smart” ass, but the woods sequence seemed to be in a warmer light than the cooler ones in the beginning and end. Warmer tones usually have an underlying dream feel. What I’m tryna get at here is that the woods sequence we saw-- regardless of whether or not it actually happened-- might be a dream, and Chase “teleporting” to the parking lot was him snapping out of it. He seems dazed for a moment, which looks to me like he was planning to take his own life (we know he has a tendency for doing things like this from the “Bro Average” video), but appears surprised to snap out of it and remaining in one piece-- alive. Maybe he thought he jumped off, but snaps out to realize he didn’t??

This shit’s already getting too long so TL;DR, Chase was evicted from his home, gets depressed that he has to deal with not only this, but his broken family, decides that the only way to resolve his issues is to take his life by jumping off a parking lot complex, has a dream about his family’s resting place, then snaps out of it only to realize that jumping off isn’t his last hurrah, because there’s something else he has to do first.

JESUS CHRIST i hope you liked that entire thing! these are just my thoughts and surprisingly enough, my first theorizing contribution for the JSE community! i hope it makes sense,, my eyes hurt and i’m really tired and this took me 2 hours pls enjoy :,) 

@therealjacksepticeye

#therealjacksepticeye #jacksepticeye #chase brody #chase #jse egos

[queeniewritesce]

Recommendations (1/2)

This was written for a @mrs-captain-evans 2,5K followers Writing Challenge. Congratulations on the milestone and here’s for 2,5K more!

I chose “Well, this is awkward…” as my prompt because as I was scrolling through the options the scene that particular scene just jumped at me.

Summary: Twitter is a strange place. But once in a while, you connect with someone.

Word count: 3,564

Warning: mild language, 35 seconds of angst, could be less if you read it fast.

Warning2: there will be a lot of Trump bashing at the beginning of this story. If you’re offended then maybe this isn’t a story you should read.

Author’s Note:  All rules regarding verified accounts and how they behave were taken from Twitter.com.

It all started innocently enough.

Chris had opened Twitter to post a video of Dodger playing with his stuffed lion, knowing his dog was a fan favorite, when Trump decided to give his opinion on a National Geographic article about Global Warming.

GOD, he was a moron. A dumb, squinty-eyed, toupee wearing, orange moron. Chris seethed as he clicked on retweet with comment and called out the man he had the displeasure of calling President.

A few seconds later his notifications started to pop up. He switched tabs to Mentions and Replies where thousands of retweets with GIFs and other memes were pouring in before he filtered the tab so only verified accounts were shown. Mark retweeted his reply, Don wrote a snarky and an awesome comeback, Ellen Page tore the man a new one and an MIT professor he met during a flight home to Boston mentioned him and your account as prime examples of the generation who could make a change. He liked some favorites, retweeted a few others and was about to close the app when a new mention popped up, this time from your account, thanking your mentor and sharing a blurb about being cool because you were now linked to Captain America.

Curiosity got the best of him and Chris clicked on your handle. The header was a picture of Diagon Alley at the Warner Brother’s Harry Potter Tour in London and the picture to the side was of a woman dressed up as a Gryffindor student, wand, scarf and a pointed hat. He noticed you were also a verified account and your small bio read ‘Y/N, 30something.’, ‘You can be anything you aspire to be. I chose to be a nerd’ and ‘Director of Media Studies at MIT’.

That is an interesting combination, he thought while looking through your latest tweets. Chris immediately found your own retweet of the orange moron and he laughed when you called him a dweeb, deeming the man unworthy of being president of your dog’s agility class, much less president of your country. You also quoted him in a series of articles that could be found at the Congress Library website and citing other articles from different countries, asking him to please trade his Rich Richie comics for something an actual president needed to know ‘You know, like Obama’.

You had an incredibly sharp mind for a woman who spent her free time dressing up as a fictional character, he thought before shaking his head when he looked down at his costume. Yeah, better not judge.

Chris spent a good chunk of his downtime between takes that day going through your tweets. Every time his PA called him to block a new scene or to film a close-up, he would carefully lock the phone without closing the app so he wouldn’t have to scroll down again.

Later that day he was back on his trailer resting, they wouldn’t be going home that night till the first Thanos fight scene was over but he was now free of his Captain America clothes and could relax. He took a shower in the small trailer bathroom, put on a loose pair of boxers and picked up his phone again, opening the Twitter app, happy to see it was exactly where he left.

Chris was now looking at your tweets from two years ago. He scrolled down on some retweets, mostly articles about social media and its influence on people, thoughts about the latest Game of Thrones episode, a tweet about watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier again after the results of the presidential election and how it had changed your views of the movie and a trip to London to guest lecture on a seminar in Oxford, with a link to watch your lecture on Youtube.  You’re funny, witty, and after watching your lecture on Book to Movies Adaptions: Bridging the Gap in the Fourth Dimension, he realized he was enthralled not only by your pretty eyes and lush lips but also with your mind.

He saw pictures of your adopted one-eyed blue merle Cardigan Welsh Corgi aptly named Captain Hook which you confessed was rarely used because you liked to call him Hooker, calling his name out loud around Cambridge Square just to get a reaction out of people. He laughed long and hard imagining you walking up and down Tudor Street asking if anyone had seen a one-eyed Hooker prancing around.

He worried his bottom lip for a moment before closing the app and opening up Safari quickly founding what he was looking for on his saved links. A new window opened and Twitter.com was now on his screen but instead of the usual @chrisevans handle, the account belonged to @BostonBrains81.

The Patriots logo stared back at him from the top of the page and a random shot of the crowd in one of the home games stood over a simple bio: Boston. Beer. Patriots.

The account he used to interact with his friends back home, like their baby pictures, sign in to various sites and go even crazier over the Patriots than he normally would on his main.

He looked nervously around his trailer before he searched for your handle, clicking the follow button before he lost his courage.

You are now following @Y/H

Was he really going through with this? His index finger hovered over the reply button on your latest tweet, the one where he was also mentioned.

“Ok Chris, you can do this.”

BostonBrains81 @Y/H you’re a lot cooler than Captain America. Wicked answer to the resident Oompa-Loompa, but I gotta ask, you think he knows how to read?

There, he did it.

_

That had been the first of the many 280 characters conversations you had with each other.

At first, you wondered if he was just a creep that followed you because Professor Travis mentioned you and Chris Evans on the same post; you had gained almost a thousand followers because of that, but they quickly unfollowed you when you didn’t gush about Chris Evans or they realized you didn’t actually know the actor. Not @BostonBrains81 though, he stuck around, commenting on some old articles you shared, liking all the pictures of Hooker you posted and even replied to the one where you shared his name asking if calling out for a Hooker in Cambridge had you stopped for solicitation at any point. You laughed at his joke and decided to follow him back.

The guy, you assumed it was a guy, was incredibly intelligent, always had a smart comeback to your jokes and could make you laugh in less than 100 characters. You shared most of the same views, from politics to music and books, the only point of contention was football. He was probably the biggest Patriots fan you had ever met and you being originally from the west coast was a Seattle Seahawks fan. He told you he had a working buddy who was a huge Seahawks fan as well and they had watched the Superbowl together in Arizona a few years back.

He’d ask you for a new book recommendation every few weeks and confessed his line of work had him waiting around quite a bit. You believed he was a flight attendant because he more than once replied to you from different parts of the country. You wondered if you should let him know the location settings were turned on.

You quickly got into a routine of checking his page to see if he was online that day and a little over two months since you first ‘talked’, you moved on to Direct Messages and conversation become more serious. Thoughts on religion, the #MeToo movement, gay rights, all were candidly discussed and you now actively sought his opinions on some of the subjects you taught your classes.

For a flight attendant, the man had some strong opinions and knew how to keep a conversation going. You chastised yourself for your classism, just because he had a blue-collar job didn’t mean he couldn’t have a sophisticated mind.

Some people are incredibly well educated and never set foot inside a college corridor, you remembered Professor Travis lecturing an advanced Media class you sat as his aide. Take Captain America for an example, I met the young man who portrays the superhero during a recent flight from Atlanta to Boston and I was highly impressed. He could very well be a post-doctorate student here, but he chose to follow his own footsteps to Hollywood and I thank him for it. I quite enjoy the dichotomy he brings to his portrayal of Captain America and Steve Rogers during The Winter Soldier and Civil War. If you haven’t, please watch those movies as we’ll be discussing them in our next class.

Professor Travis had been your theses supervisor and was one of your closest friends, even though he was thirty years your senior. The man had one of the sharpest minds you knew and his classes on Comic Books and the Juxtaposition to Modern Politics was always full, with a waiting list that never got any smaller. You usually sat those classes as his aide and he called on you often to share your views on what the media contributed to the political storm brewing on the horizon and what comic books contributed to that. Captain America had become one of Travis favorite subjects as of late, the whole Hydra and Nazis making a comeback after the last presidential election.

The fact Chris Evans engaged in politics and wasn’t afraid to speak up his mind played a huge part in why you started following him after Professor Travis met the guy. Sure, the man was eye candy to your often-tired eyes but he had a lot to offer than just those huge biceps, that amazing tight ass, and that soft-looking facial hair. You got a kick of his self-deprecating humor and once or twice you had jointed down a few books he mentioned and truly enjoyed them.

It was a really nice coincidence @BostonBrains81 had read them as well.

By the end of summer you were feeling lonely and thinking of asking another professor out. You wanted a male opinion on the idea, preferably one not in the same circle of friends and your best online friend was just the person to ask.

Well, does he make you feel nervous?

No, why would he made me feel nervous? He’s a very nice guy.

See, if you’re not nervous around him that means he doesn’t make you feel anything. If you don’t feel anything for the guy, why waste your time? And a nice guy? God, that’s the worst thing a woman can say about a man. A nice guy is as bad as saying a girl is okay. Is she beautiful? Meh, she’s okay. Does he melt your insides? Meh, he’s a very nice guy.

Seems like you gave this a lot of thought.

I’ve had more girlfriends than… jobs. When I broke up with the last one, I decided to wait for the right woman instead of getting into another destined to fail relationship. There’s no shame in stepping back and deciding you’re worthy of more than just an okay girl.

Or a nice guy.

Exactly.

Being alone is not easy though. We jump from one relationship to the next because we’re already used to the normalcy of having that steady presence in our lives. It doesn’t matter if we know that person isn’t right for us or they might even be prejudicial for us in the long run. The relationship fills a void we don’t like, that feeling there’s something wrong with us because we can’t maintain a partner.

Who let you in my head when I wasn’t looking?

Sorry for getting too deep.

You’re absolutely right though.

Thanks for the talk, no dates with nice guys from now on.

Don’t go for the bad guys either.

Well, that considerably narrows the option pool. Who am I dating then?

How about me?

Good one funny boy.

What’s wrong with me?

Barring the fact that I don’t even know your real name and you could very well be catfishing me, not much.

Catfishing?

You know, trying to make me believe you’re someone you’re not.

.

You there?

Sorry. Yeah, I’m definitely not trying to make you believe I’m anyone but myself. Name’s Chris by the way.

Nice to meet you, Chris, I’m Y/N.

Your conversations with @BostonBrains81, better yet, Chris, were now a daily occurrence and included questions about your daily lives and personal family stuff, Chris had three siblings, the youngest had been adopted and you spent a whole afternoon discussing the effects of adoptions on both the family and the child, you commended his parents for going through the processes and he opened his heart about normalizing the girl when she first came to live with them but now she was his favorite sister and he couldn’t imagine life without Shanna in it. He told you about moving away from home at eighteen to pursue his dream job, you shared how difficult adapting to Boston was at first but how you couldn’t see yourself living anywhere else now. He confided in you his work had him burned out a little and how much he missed home. Since his location had been stationed in Atlanta for the past three weeks, you deduced he worked for Delta Airlines.

Hey, you there? Can we talk?

Sure, I’m just lounging, you good?

I’m still at work, everyone is being a dick today and I’m having a hard time coping, plus I’m tired and a little cranky.

I’m sorry. Coworkers can be a pain in the ass sometimes, no matter what the field. Have you tried the exercises you told me about?

Yes. More than once. They seem to work for a while but then I have to head back in and someone else decides it’s his turn to be a dick. And now the… execs are here and they want to change some of the stuff that’s already done so that means more work and more dick-headed people all around.

When it’s your turn?

Uh?

Well, since everyone is having a bad day, why can’t you lash out? Be a dick too?

It’s never my turn. Chris is always the good guy, Chris is never a diva.

You don’t need to be a diva to demand respect. Demand respect while being respectful, but put your foot down. The old you get more flies with honey. Do you need to be there?

I’m supposedly done for the day.

So go home, take a bath, sleep in clean sheets. I know how hard it is to turn off work, sometimes I stay in my office for hours after I’m my shift, but it’s not healthy. If they truly need you, they know where to find you.

They do yeah.

Go home, Chris. Pass on the shield.

What?

Like Captain America did in the comics. Let someone else do the job.

Oh. Okay, yeah, that makes sense.

I make a lot of sense when I’m drinking wine.

So your advice comes from your inebriated mind?

I’m hardly inebriated. It’s one glass of wine while reading a book in the bathtub. This is my me time.

I’m sorry for interrupting your naked me time. Thanks for the visual though, it’ll help me with my own time when I get home.

Go home, Chris. It’s the wine’s order.

You were now on a territory you swore you’d never slipped into; flirting with a stranger online. You tried to talk yourself out of it, tried to curb this insane idea manifesting inside your head and your heart, you were a scholar for goodness sake, you taught your students to never engage romantically online, therefore, you should know better.

You most certainly didn’t.

I’d like to take you out for coffee sometime, you could show me around MIT.

Maybe. When you get back from Atlanta, let me know.

How do you know I’m in Atlanta?

Your location setting is turned on.

Is it? Damn.

Yeah, I should have told you sooner. Working for Delta Airlines must nice though.

Yeah… I guess. Blue collar job though.

Don’t be like that, you should not be ashamed of what you do for a living. If it makes you happy, it’s all that matters.

You’re right, I’m pretty happy doing what I do. So, coffee?

Sure. I usually get my caffeine fix from ‘Bean there, Doughnut That’ over at Arrow St. It’s always full of students.

Smart girl, going for a place where you can find a friendly face if we don’t get along.

That, and you could be a serial killer, I need witnesses to remember your face. It’s not like I *really* know you.

I look forward to changing that. I’ll be home after Columbus Day. Could we meet then?

Yes, sure. I want to finally put a face to the man I’ve talking for the past four months. It’s a date.

A date uh? I like that. I like that very much. I hope you like my face when you see it, I kinda have an ugly mug.

I’m sure your face is fine. Besides, I already like your personality and that’s the part I always have trouble with.

Checking Twitter had become your new guilty pleasure and you’d close the app with a frown if Chris didn’t post anything every few days, exactly what was happening right now.

He had been offline for a whole week and you missed your usual banter, his witty sense of humor and how he took to calling you Professor Hottie. The Patriots lost the second game of the season and you wanted to gloat a little but most of all you just wanted to know if he was okay.

Biting your lip, you clicked on the direct message button.

Been a while since you’ve been online, did you get lost on the way back from Boston Market?

I see that you turned off your location sharing. Was I being too stalkerish?

I guess you’re busy or maybe you just don’t want to talk to me. I’ll leave you be.

Had you come on too strong? Did you sounded desperate and scared him off? You read your past conversations and nothing sounded too eager on your part, maybe he just wasn’t interested anymore.

Well, that was that.

You sighed and refreshed your home page one last time, checking your latest tweets and was surprised to see a new Tweet from Chris Evans, another Chris who had been MIA lately.

ChrisEvans Officially wrapped on Avengers 4. It was an emotional day, to say the least. Playing this role over the last 8 years has been an honor. To everyone in front of the camera, behind the camera, and in the audience, thank you for the memories! Eternally grateful.

Interacting with celebrities were never really your thing but you would miss Captain America, you were sure they would have to kill him if Evans would not play the iconic soldier anymore, so you took a chance and clicked on reply.

Y/H @chrisevans thanks for making Cap cool again, you made him justice and gave the tired soldier a new and improved multifaceted personality. We’re gonna miss him.

Satisfied with your chosen words you smiled as you hit send. You got a few likes notification right away, some of your students and MIT faculty retweeted your post, Professor Travis included.

ChrisEvans @y/h thank you. Having people like you and @TravisMIT giving Cap your stamp of approval certainly makes me think I did a good job.

Wide eyes blinked back to the screen when you read his response. He not only thanked you but for some reason he held your opinion to a higher standard? How was that possible?

Your mentions exploded with people asking you similar questions and you had to switch to verified account only to stop the barrage of notifications for new tweets coming through.

Your phone beeped with a new direct message and a small glimpse of hope that your Chris was back made you forget about Evans.

Hey, sorry for the disappearance act, work has been crazy lately. You’re definitely not stalkerish, that title actually belongs to yours truly but I’ll tell you more over coffee. Don’t ever think I don’t want to talk to you, our conversations are the highlight of my days. I missed you a lot these past ten days.

You cocked your head side to side while reading the message, twice, three times, trying to understand exactly what was going on. You should be happy, it was exactly what you wanted to read after being ghosted for over a week.

There was only one problem. The DM did not come from @BostonBrains81. It came from @ChrisEvans.

You hovered your mouse over the reply button but your brain was short-circuiting. You started and deleted dozens of replies, none of them conveying what you were feeling well enough. Deceived. Betrayed.

New direct messages appeared one after the other.

               Well, this is awkward…

               I can explain.

               Please talk to me.

               Look, I was stupid for not telling you sooner but doesn’t change how I feel about you. Can we talk? Please?

You’re now blocking @ChrisEvans.

You’re now blocking @BostonBrains81

#Chris Evans Fanfic #Chris Evans Fan Fic #Chris Evans Fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #mrs-captain-evans #writting challenge

[aphmau]

The Audience of My Channel

Okay, holy hell....

I wrote a freggin’ long history and now that I’m lookin’ through it... it’s a mess.

I’m going to TL;DR this who want the point but if you’re seriously concerned about this and want to understand the history then I recommend reading but understand this post is a mess of explanation but it’s worth the read IMO if you are interested in this history of my MC content and who it’s intended for.

TL;DR: My heavy story content isn’t aimed at kids/younger audience, if that was not evident from S4 alone then there is plenty of evidence from BEFORE and during Diaries days to support this. The heavy MCD implications also show I’m writing for that older audience who grew up with me. I’ve retained a lot of my audience from those days and know that young adults watch my stuff (hence a small reason for my lack of growth due to not conforming to kids content, you’ll see other MC YTers who convert to Roblox taking off in comparison) Some of my content can be found on the YT kids app and if you are a parent/guardian concerned about the heavy material I recommend using the YT kids app as it censors those seasons/episodes. It’s not 100% perfect but the kids who do watch me only know me for the content listed on the YT kids app. Most parents who let their kids have free roam of base YT are already aware of the lack of censorship from all sorts of YTers and have expressed they are aware of the material in my content and allow their kids to watch under their supervision and guidance. Who/What people watch on YT is up to them to decide. I rate my vids in the self rate system to be aimed at the demographic I’m writing for. 

OKAY THAT’S NOT TL;DR, BUT CLOSE ENOUGH. The rest goes into detail and is what I originally wrote if you want to understand my prospective. AGAIN IT’S EVERYWHERE.

Alright so I’m in the addressing mood, but let’s start this train with one thing at a time. Today I want to clear up a misconception that a lot of people tend to have about my channel. 

“Aphmau has a kid audience.”

To some extent, this IS true.  These days people naturally associate “Minecraft” with kid friendly content. Especially with YouTubes crack down on what is advertised to kids via search. (Which as a parent: thank you YouTube.)

To another extent, this IS false.

In the early pioneer days of MC a whole ton of adults were playing the game which promoted the popularity of it. These were also the days YouTube didn’t have heavy censorship so everything was free game. There were adults cursing and talking about sex during gameplay, having tiddies in the thumbnail, to adults playing MC drunk. Again totally the early days of both YT and MC. 

During this time a lot of the MC audience was mixed, both young and older. (I was in the older crowd; was watching Shadow of Israphel by the Yogscast at the time before my channel started) Eventually time passed and it was obvious that the game by itself appealed more to the younger demographic and it kept that audience. [I’ll get back to this point later].

Around the time I entered the MC scene it was the untamed wild west. Hell, I remember doing a Cops and Robbers video with Adam about being high the whole time. Around that time I was writing Diaries which had a lot of adult themes, war, topics, violence, death, [babe house, tho that’s not bad], sexual implications, blood, etc. etc. I also had side series going on that were more light hearted [Pixelmon, Mod Mod World, etc.] I also played games such as Saints Row, Hunie Pop, Dead Space, etc.

Again all this was in the untamed wild west of the internet. 

Fast forward to today, all of those youngins who consumed that content have now grown up. They are either finishing up High School or already in College or they have always been adults and are just older (and by that I mean they’re even more cooler now) Surprisingly a LOT of them have been with me from that long ago... and holy crap you guys... thank you for being with me for that long <3

Fast forward to today again, you’ll see MC and YT have been censored heavily.

If you want to be a successful MC YouTuber these days - You gotta make content aimed at kids to get on that YT kids app - and just let me say there’s nothing wrong with that at all! I’m all for peeps makin’ their content the way they want to for the audience they want to consume it. (always disliked when creators would belittle others for the kind of content they make)

Let me say this: Diaries and MyStreet [plus a few other series] have always had heavy adult themes in them. I have been watching my audience grow from the start and know who I am writing for since a lot of peeps who are watching the more intense series have aged with me. 

“But you have kids who consume your content!”

Yes, there are children who consume my content because it is on the Minecraft platform. You will also notice the most vocal peeps in the YT comment section/twitter/insta/etc. tend to be youngin’s who will shame you for liking a certain ship, hate you for your opinions, etc. [they are NOT ALL like that] Understand that these peeps (while I love and appreciate their support, wish they read my PSA’s and were a bit more understanding sometimes) are often in the minority of those who consume the more intense storylines/game play. Of course there are exceptions. Creators after YEARS of experience, data, and analytics will know who watches what content based on statistics and feedback. Some of our decisions are based on the analytics we receive and what people show they want in content by watching it.

Now, where are these “children who are watching my content” consuming it from? The YouTube Kids App. (GOD THIS ISN’T A PLUG BUT IT’S GONNA SOUND LIKE ONE BECAUSE I GET INTO PARENT THINGS, ALSO THIS IS RELEVANT TO WHO CONSUMES MY CONTENT SO IF YOU CARE ABOUT THIS TOPIC PLEASE BEAR WITH ME) 

As a parent, I use the YouTube kids app. The YouTube kids app has a LOT of options to make sure kids under the age of 13 are consuming the content their parents want them to watch. (But the age you can set goes all the way to like 20+ for some reason) There are two options: 

1.) [Younger] More restricted, meant for preschool kids and elementary school kids.

2.) [Older] For parents who think their kids are old enough to be less restricted and it even warns parents that there may be suggestive content, violence, etc. In this option.

There are a lot of kids consuming the more tamed versions of my content which they know me for. There are some children I meet at fan meets that don’t even know that certain episodes of Diaries or MS Season 4, 5, or 6 exist or that I even do RP’s. (They seem to like my content for Snipper Clips, Love Balls, MyCraft, etc.) I’m perfectly fine with the app gating off my mature content, rightfully so since it’s not meant for that demographic. With a lot of that being said I cannot control what is and is not seen on that app, but know that a lot of my mature content is off of it.

That being said, my writing is aimed at teens, young adults, and adults. 

The problem is people see MC as being “ONLY FOR KIDS! THIS IS A KIDS SHOW IF IT’S IN MINECRAFT!” which to me... as someone who has been using the platform since the Wild West days... to pretty much tell similar and just as harsh stories since then... is pretty much the equivalent of saying: “IF IT’S A DRAWN LIKE A CARTOON IT MUST BE FOR KIDS!” Or “VIDEO GAMES ARE MEANT FOR KIDS” (which are very ignorant statements because cartoons and games can be for adults)

Again the problem lies in the fact that I’m still using MC as a platform to tell stories. And really, that’s not a problem since I know where my content is being consumed, I know who consumes it, and I know who I am writing for. 

The kids app exists for parents who are active in their child’s lives and make sure my content is what their kids want to consume and I use that as a barrier to entry for younger kids who don’t get the themes in my mature content. 

The people who have grown up with me and know the adult themes in my story often times don’t want to admit to their friends that they watch Minecraft because of the stigma that comes with that statement and often times won’t participate in the community. Btw, side note: For those that are vocal I sincerely appreciate you who have been around forever and help grow the community.

[ADDITIONAL UNIMPORTANT NOTE: We actually did a test run to see if our audience was younger than we thought. I tried doing a ROBLOX RP to see if maybe our demographic was there instead of MC. (...Also I wanted to make something for our kids to watch.) It turned out the feedback from the audience was so overwhelmingly negative on it because peeps didn’t want to see the channel turn into a “kids channel” with kid directed content]

But again... the problem is the stigma that comes with using MC as a storytelling device. A lot of YTers bowed out of MC because they felt they no longer had the creative freedom they once had before censorship happened. Which if I had been completely kid friendly from the beginning I could see where the problem is, however this is not the case and adult themes (be they subtle or not) have always been there.

My content is for those who want to consume it on the main YT site/app. Anyone under the age of 13 SHOULD be using the YT kids app, but that is in their parents hands to decide what is appropriate for their kids. I advise fellow parents when they ask me in person to make sure my content is for their kid(s) and to have open discussions about the topics at hand if they decide to allow their kids to consume my content. I understand parents cannot be there 24/7 but they should not entrust media to be the core source of conversation for a mind that’s still growing and needs a parent/guardians guidance.

I will continue to use MC as a platform and the YT self rating system to make sure my content gets pushed to the right outlets, I cannot monitor who sees my content. Eventually I’d like to move to another story telling platform OR modify MC so it doesn’t look like MC anymore but rather something that looks similar to the unity engine. (We tried this with Ultra Nova but didn’t have people who cared about the project enough to help with it. Jason ended up doing the modeling and it didn’t come out like we had hoped) Jason and I would love to get into animation (2D/3D), but that is not possible at the moment, however we are working on that and maybe later FAR down the line you’ll see that! (you can see with S6 we’re getting a feel for it! Animation ain’t just there for show it’s for prepping for the future)

I will do my best to open up more about my creative choices. 

I understand some peeps are upset about the Ein/Aphmau thing and I plan on addressing that (maybe in another blog post later this week but it might just say what I’m about to say). Peeps tend to get riled up as soon as something negative happens and are on “attack mode” which leads to provocation and just a whole mess of emotions coming from both sides. But since I’m trying to be more open right now I’ll give it my best shot to address it later. For now to give a brief summary: not all stories/characters are 100% planned. My writing for stories years ago was not written knowing exactly where the characters would be year(s) later. Again a topic to get into depth for another time. I know there are peeps out there who won’t listen and will probably see everything I say as an excuse. But hey, I’m gonna open up and if they want to believe me or not is up to them. I understand why they’re upset and I value and respect their opinions, but implying someone’s absolute moral beliefs on a taboo subject through a fictional story is just odd. I think my girl Michaela best sums that up in this post. 

My responsibility as a creator is to create. I do take responsibility in who sees my content through the systems that are set in place for that. But there is also a responsibility in the viewer to know the type of content they’re consuming. In the future maybe I’ll add in self ratings since that isn’t completely and transparently done through YT. 

Whew, I hope that sums things up or at least gives an answer to a few things.

Sorry for being all over the place with that post, let me know if you want me to convey anything in better detail for this topic. I’ll address other topics mentioned in here when I have a moment, thanks again for your time! <3 (appreciate if you took the time to make it this far!)

#Let'sTalk #aphmau

[jimlingss]

The Deli Diaries [6]

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 || Chapter 11 [Finale]

➜ Words: 1.8k

➜ Genres: Fluff & Cuteness, That good ol’ slow burn, Slice of Life

➜ Summary: Working at a grocery store deli is absolutely unbearable (and you’re also perfectly aware of how dramatic you are). But it seems like something, or rather, someone might make the job a bit more manageable.

➜ Warnings: Mundane-ness that might make you bored to death

➜ Notes: i swear the story is moving...just...very slowly.

Your job sucks.   But it’s starting to suck less, especially when the microwave reads 2:00pm.   Right on the mark, you come strolling to the other side of the deli where your kind manager is putting away some of the orders that arrived a few minutes ago. “Hey, Serri. Is it okay if I go on my lunch break now?”   The old lady frowns in concern. “You haven’t eaten lunch yet? Yes, yes! Go right ahead.”   “I’ll be back in half-an-hour then, in time to package the chicken.” You’re ripping off your gloves and she nods, urging you to not worry about it and to go eat and refuel yourself. On the way to grabbing your bag, you wash your hands and rip off your hairnet, adjusting your black cap in the tiny mirror above the sink, trying your best to clean yourself up.   You nabbed a hat from your insane supervisor, having requested she order one for a few weeks now. The constant reminders annoyed her but it’s the only reason you have it now. For one, it’s completely free so why not. And secondly, you could hide your greasy hair and actually tame it from the long day of work. Plus, in this way, you can look less horrible for a certain someone.   “Hey, produce boy.” You run into that certain someone on the way to the staff room and he has his own bag slung on his shoulder. His brunette hair is ruffled, red apron clean, black shirt and pants appearing like it’s been ironed.   “Hey, deli girl.” Jimin smiles, still amused with the little nickname you gave him.   “Are you going for lunch?” You push the backdoor open for him and he says ‘thank you’ as he enters.   Mischief twinkles in his eye and he downcasts his head trying to hide the way the corners of his lips are upright. But Jimin can’t help himself and he steals another glimpse of you. “I am.”   “What a coincidence.”   Or more like the two of you have been syncing up your breaks every other day now.   The job was actually pretty nice now that you had a friend to share your meals with. It’s not like you could hang out with Yuna in the breakroom considering only one person at a time was allowed to leave the deli area. Plus, you found Jimin’s company surprisingly nicer than your phone or any youtube video you could scrape up using the shitty wifi connection.   “What are the odds?” He laughs and then opens the door to the room for you. This time, you’re the one saying ‘thank you’ as you enter and he follows behind.   “I know, right?” You giggle and then move to pop open the microwave, throwing the stolen chicken-pot pie into it and hitting a minute to heat it up. In the meanwhile, Jimin pulls out two chairs and begins setting up, putting a few napkins down on the table not to make a mess and taking out his sandwich that he always cuts into two nowadays.   Luckily, there’s no one else in the staff room, only one person who exits the washroom and beelines out, down the stairs, returning back to their job before time runs out.   As the microwave whirrs, you move towards the wall of postings, scanning each of them and looking for your center’s number. “Are you thinking of switching?” Jimin asks in curiosity, moving to stand beside you. “Bakery? Or are you gonna transfer to another store?”   “Psh.” You move away when you can’t find anything of interest. “Why would I leave this store when it’s literally a ten minute walk from my house? If I had to take the bus, I swear I’d be late and fired on the first day.”   He laughs and the microwave dings, causing you to open it and grab two plastic spoons from the dispenser. “Plus, I don’t think bakery is hiring for another two years,” you mumble as an afterthought. “Unless someone dies, they’re not gonna train anyone here. Those ladies have been working there for a loooooong time.”   “I guess you and deli are gonna be together till death do you part,” he teases while taking a seat and you take yours adjacent to him. You grumble at the thought of the deli being in your foreseeing future and he smiles, cracking open his water bottle to take a sip.   “Oh. I actually have something.” Your eyes light up when you remember and you dig into your bag, pulling out a ziplock. “It’s honey ham.”   “Again?” Jimin laughs, grabbing a piece to eat. “I thought you hated hams.”   “Yeah...but I cut too much for a customer earlier, so I took it with me.”   “Aren’t you going to get fired?” He questions while you pick up the half of his sandwich and take a huge bite of it. In turn, he grabs the spoon and begins to eat the chicken pot pie that you took.   “Maybe.” You shrug, not really caring if you get fired. At the moment, you’re more preoccupied with enjoying this food, unable to stop taking massive bites of Jimin’s sandwich. “Y’know, I’m not a big fan of sandwiches but this is pretty good. Did you make it yourself?”   “Yeah.” Jimin smiles, a bit bashful over the compliment. “It’s not that hard. I just have to toast the bread for a minute and spread a teaspoon of butter. I also spread some mayo on the other slice and I cut a tomato, put in a bit of baloney and sometimes egg. There’s some cheese and lettuce, pickles too….”   He admits, he might’ve upped his sandwich game ever since you started sharing a half with him.   “God, that’s already ten steps too much for me.” You steal another bite, appreciating the flavour more and more. “But how do you get it so it isn’t melted and squished in your bag.”   “Oh, I put it in the produce cooler when I get here.”   “Dude…..you’re awesome.” You flash a huge thumbs up, wholly impressed with how seriously he takes your lunches together. “I like how you think ahead. Meanwhile, I’ve had the same pot pie for four days now. I’m so sick of it.”   Jimin takes another scoop of the pie. “Why do you keep getting it then?”   “Well, you like it, don’t you?”   You say it nonchalantly but it hits Jimin and he tries to repress a smile, though failing to do so. “It’s not bad, but I’m really fine with anything.”   “You’re too nice, produce boy.”   He really doubts that, especially when he’s sitting next to you. But he doesn’t say anything about it. “How was work so far? Any cute kids? Any rude customers?” He takes another bite and swallows it down. “Any grease you want me to help pour out?”   You grin. “None yet….of any of that. But you might need to help me pour out some grease later. I call holding the door.”   “Deal.”   Really, it’s a deal that sucks on his end. Yet, Jimin insists he can pour the whole bucket of the icky liquid into the dumpster every time your shifts overlap. You don’t understand why he offers so much help to you.   Maybe he’s just an extremely nice guy.   “How about you?” You motion your head over to him. “Any people asking you grocery questions?”   “Yes.” He giggles and you can’t help but smile. “Many. At this point, I think I’m better at navigating the grocery section than some of the grocery people. Did you know rice pudding is next to the butter section? Who knew.”   You laugh with him, amused with all the times people ask him where things are and he has to navigate them through the grocery aisles that he doesn’t even know himself. Earlier you caught a senior citizen grasping at his arm instead of her walker, trying to find some almond powder. He flashed you one look and that’s all it took for you to start giggling while the customer in front of you thought you were absolutely insane.   “What time are you off?” You ask, dusting your hands off after finishing the sandwich and some of the pot pie.   “Six. You?”   “Six too. We can walk home together,” you note while standing, heading over to the fridge and freezer to take a peek. “Hey, want some ice cream?”   “What?” He looks at your mischievous expression when you turn around. “Sure. But does that belong to anyone?”   “No name.” You smirk to yourself, glancing at the front of the open box where there’s an absence of black marker labelling ‘do not eat’. “No name means a free for all. What flavour?”   “Any.”   You grab two at random, shutting the freezer door before tossing it to him. Jimin catches it one hand like a pro, putting on a smug expression when it was really due to luck and reflexes. You plop down in your seat again, peeling the wrapper open and discarding it.   Jimin watches as you eat and he backs up. “Wait. Hold on. You bite your ice-cream?”   “And you don’t?” You twist up your face as if you’re offended that he does something different.   “No, you monster.” His tongue pokes out, rubbing all over his cold treat which makes you scrunch your nose up in distaste. “It hurts my teeth too much.”   “It’s gross to lick it.”   “It’s weird to bite it,” the produce boy counters and you scoff. “What flavour do you have?”   “Vanilla. You?”   “Chocolate.” Jimin’s brow eyes light up in curiosity and his pupils flicker over to the treat in your hand. You can read him like an open book, already knowing what he wants before he asks. “Can I try?”

“Don’t lick it,” you respond immediately like it’s a reflex. But instead of placating you, the boy grins, his eyes crinkling into half moons, plump lips spreading into his chubby cheeks. He takes your hand, curling his fingers over yours and he pulls it closer to him, moving your entire body towards his direction. “Don’t! Jimin! Actually!”   But like the little shit that he is, his tongue rakes up the entire side of your ice-cream. He licks it with a laugh and pulls away. “It’s good.”   You narrow your eyes at him before leaning over faster than he can react. You bite the top half of his ice-cream off completely, and he cries out as fifty percent of his treat is devoured. You laugh evilly before screaming. Your brain freezes, aching painfully and it makes him hysterical.   Jimin folds in half, wheezing, as he watches you clutch your head in your other palm, gasping for air and yelling about how cold it is. Still, it was worth getting your revenge.

#bts fanfic #jimin fluff #jimin fanfic #bts fluff #bts scenario #BTS JIMIN AS A PRODUCE BOY AND Y/N AS A DELI GIRL #BTS FANFIC WHERE THEY HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER IN THE STAFF ROOM AND SHARE ICE CREAM #also if y'all were wondering why I was asking if you bite or lick ice cream a few weeks ago #this is why

[rosedalemike]

The Mood: Blog #13 “The Taco Tuesday Theory/updates”

    Very few people know this but Tuesday has been kind of an inside joke (...hence why very few people know this...) amongst the revolving door of Rosedale team members. "Wait until Tuesday, They'll probably reply on Tuesday...Follow up on Tuesday...ask them on Tuesday...hit'em up! For it is Tuesday" etc.

     I don't mean for this to come across as cynical, but Tuesday has kind of become the day where everyone is more likely to get things done. Based on nothing but statisticless experience, people are more likely to say "yes" on Tuesday for whatever reason. Humans are more willing to ignore all distractions and Crush It on Tuesday.

      Come to think of it, this is probably the same reason why there's $1 bowling on Tuesday. And movies are half price on Tuesday. And EVERYONE knows about Taco Tuesday! A little closer to home, In Canada, I remember a bunch of fast food places had "Toony Tuesday" advertised on their windows (a Toony is a $2 coin). These leisure-y businesses probably recognized drastic dips in sales on Tuesdays because everyone was too busy Crushing It to go bowling, watch movies, eat tacos etc. So they made Tuesday specials.

     I still haven't totally figured out why a day of the week has such significance as to why we perk up and Get Shit Done. But the most reasonable explanation would probably come from our counter-motivation to the general perception of weekends. Here's what I invision: Friday night is social/party night (ie.Tacos and Movies), Saturday maybe you'll beach/golf/mimosa (.../more tacos) or maybe you’ll get stuff done around the house during the day then more social events (like bowling...and tacos) at night, then Sunday is so chill that Chick-Fil-A is straight up closed (I know about religion, don't worry).

      But then why not Mondays, right? Well Monday becomes most people's time to just get back into the groove; they'll get some stuff done, ie. reply to some of the workaholics who filled their inbox over the weekend. I'd guesstimate that the average normy gets 20% of the amount of work done on Mondays than they do on Tuesdays. Maybe it's also because on Monday we're all simultaneously subconsciously thinking "I can watch that viral thing that Mr.Normy was talking about at the water cooler...I've got the rest of this week to get the thing done".

    Anyway, that's what generalization looks like from the guy who once assumed all dogs are male and all cats are female. So now that you're all in on my Tuesday theory (and know what a Toony is) I guess I'll try to finish out this here blog and give you some updates:

      Rosedale is still in the re-branding stage. I've been tossing ideas around with friends. Some like/hate certain names, other friends are on completely different pages (hating/liking what was liked/hated...if that makes sense.) But overall I'm still just trying to figure out what to do from a branding standpoint in general! Do I assemble a band finally? Keep the one man show going but give it a clever name? Have a couple different projects with different names (one with a band, one solo with video screens, maybe even one more chilled out piano/acoustic??) I feel like the name’s will be narrowed down if I can organize the overall brand plan first.

      I guess I've been more focused on writing songs (and parts for those songs) than anything. I've got about 30ish songs that I'm happy enough to keep working on. Many others have been scrapped but might make their way back somehow. So that has me juggling a lot of computer files and lyrics messaged to myself randomly throughout my days. It has been nice to focus on creating songs and recording demos as opposed to spending hours grinding away as a small time booking agent for a project whose name is nearly unsearchable.

      But yes, it is really time to buckle down and figure out what to do with these songs/project/name/podcast/YouTube ideas. So if anyone has any suggestions feel free to send them my way and I'll put them in the ever-growing vault of ideas. And I promise to start making some moves soon.

      Speaking of moves, I recently moved to San Diego and am currently living out of my trailer and a rehearsal studio in El Cajon. That has been a throbbing idea of mine since around the time I spent Christmas 2015 in Time & Distance's rehearsal room in Charleston, WV and edited the entire video for Written By The Artist. I've always wanted to live in SoCal since I started skateboarding at 12 years old. Now I'm 30 and I still love this scene so I finally just did it in the most cost efficient way possible and I’m glad I did. Big thanks to Vocal Eze for helping me make ends meet with getting down here for NAMM (namm is a big music trade show). It has been really fun working as an artist ambassador for that amazing throat spray and I’ve been learning a lot. Check out some of the #ShareYourVoice vids I make too!

      In the midst of all of that I got very show deprived from going to see the many great bands down here so I picked up some acoustic shows thanks to Nick from Mainsail. We've been accompanying each other's songs along with some covers - half-jokingly calling it "MainDale". I also started filling in on bass for Mainsail. Check them out asap they're great and super good dudes. A lot of big things to come for that band for sure.

     Then I randomly took a gig for Rosedale this Friday April 5th at Himmelberg's in San Diego (cus why not) so if anyone wants to see that it starts at 8pm PST this Friday April 5th. Rosedale is on last at 11pm so please stick around, tell some friends it'll be worth the late night. Here's the flyer:

     Mainsail has a show at Blonde Bar on April 8th which is also a headlining set. From there I'm driving 38 hours back to Toronto to re-import all my gear back into Canada and renew my work permit (as both my bond and permit expire April 12th). Not gonna be fun, but has to be done. I'm technically not aloud to work or bring my gear into the United States until my new permit starts (May 3rd). But Mainsail has some more SoCal shows in April that I might fly back for... or just help make BassDale tracks for. We're not sure what we're doing about that yet. I really need to figure out dual citizenship though. 

     Most of this + more was already covered in the @Palapalooza podcast I did on my bday. Here's the link for that. 

actually here it is:

     Shout out to Troy from Ready Set Survive for spreading his passion for music/new bands and having me and Mainsail Nick on that.

     One last update; I was working on video edits and mixing for a live hometown Rosedale show that I multi-tracked with Zedpromedia on my last tour and I was working off my 2T hard drive (because the files were so massive) and it crashed the other day while transferring that Palapalooza video onto it. I had so much on that hard drive (old videos, shows, pictures etc) and I've been trying to recover the files but it has not been very successful. I got most of them back with a $90 app but they're all re-organized and renamed or Corrupt and the sessions won't even open. The drive is still sitting about 90% full of files but I worry there's no way of getting any use out of it. Unless I bring it somewhere and pay a bunch of money for someone (that knows something I don't) to do their thing. Which I'm thinking I should probably do.

     I guess that's all the updates for now. What have you all have been up to? I really miss seeing friends at shows and hearing about what they have going on in their lives. So feel free to reply here or message me anytime even if you feel like you have NOTHING going on (we all feel that way sometimes). Any new music/Podcasts you've been listening to? Blogs or vids I should check out? And of course, the perfect band name for me?? Let me know! 

Thanks again to Vocal Eze and Westone and Ernie Ball for helping me out so much over this re-brand transition! I'm extremely lucky to have such great support from these awesome companies.

     I also wanna give one last special shoutout to an awesome fan/friend who has really inspired me to get back to writing these blabbering blogs. Mellyssa Woodward recently started a blog that exposes new bands via very interesting interviews. She was hesitant to do it because she wasn't sure if anyone would care. Then she just decided to do it for herself and I assure you that they are so good because she is right in her element with these! I think we can all relate to that on so many levels with the many ideas floating around in our heads. Just go do it for yourself however you would like it to be done! That's what Mel (@AssyllemNaej on insta and twitter) did and here's a prime example of how it can only do good for yourself and the world...and of course my favorite Georgia band, LIKE MIKE: https://notesonnotes.tumblr.com/post/183814739906/notes-on-like-mike

Thanks for reading! Hope to see you in San Diego this Friday night or sometime soon :) 

Enjoy your Taco Tuesday and GET’R DONE! If you’re not having any luck, TRY AGAIN NEXT TUESDAY ;)

#rosedale #mainsail #music #shareyourvoice #protectyourvoice #tuesday #tacotuesday #demo #tour #newname #crushit #getshitdone #mellyssa #canada #toony #toonytuesday #maindale #socal #bowling #sustain

[twiststreet]

I haven’t really watched movies in 2018, not good ones-- things got kinda all messed up in that last half of 2018, but I should try to make a year-end list anyways since that’s a thing I think is a good exercise.  But I missed all the big adult movies-- Cold War, Beale Street,  You Were Never Really Here, First Reformed, Sister Brothers, Eighth Grade, Zama, the Favourite or Roma-- boy, I have a lot to catch up on.  I might end up having a really great January, I guess.   Except that Star is Born-- I’m pretty good not having seen that.  No thanks, there.

(The last really great movie I saw was I finally watched Personal Shopper which I thought was terrific, I really like Assayas a lot, but that’s a 2017 movie.  Or the first great movie I saw last year was Phantom Thread, but again technically a 2017 movie).    

Anyways, here’s what I end up with, with the dregs that are left (though Tumblr is saying one of the movie I saw in 2018 posts is porno according to their advanced filter technology, and I can’t see what it is, so my memory is imperfect)(my favorite movie of 2018 was SSNI-355 Student Nurses Are Gang Banged Together ~ We Were Fucked By Perverted Doctors At A BBQ Party, and I don’t know why Tumblr would have a problem with me saying that):

10.  Mission Impossible: Fallout-- After the “oh wow” of it all wears off, I think I like these movies for the reason people who sniff about them hate them-- they don’t have a screenplay that got worked on all that much. They just had 30 pages of a treatment, and then it was time to film so they could hit their relase date-- and it doesn’t really fucking matter because they hired the right people and they were making the right kinda movie for that.  The stuff of this kind of entertainment isn’t that complicated and it’s not necessarily helped by overthinking it.  There’s a girl who the hero wants to be with but can’t be with-- there’s a bad guy, and the bad guy’s cooler henchman-- there’s a femme fatale and masks and chases and double-crosses within doublecrosses.  The things that really matter for these movies-- cool, velocity, glamour, impact-- are so direct and simple and to my mind, wonderful, wonderfully reptile-brain.  “What if they hired some poindexter to spray false profundity all over it” is just not an interesting question to ask about them to me-- they've done that-- it was called the Dark Knight-- I don’t give a shit about that movie, by comparison.  I’d rather watch this. It’s more fun.  It feels more honest.   

9.  The Night is Short, Walk on Girl-- one of the worst character types in anime (scummy sexless guy who we’re supposed to root for, despite his personality) slightly sours this otherwise effervescent ode to drinking and carousing and the nighttime.  Visually woozy, and just... I’ve had good times at night, back when I had good times, so I like that they made a cartoon where that’s the premise, that certain kinds of things can only happen at night.  It’s a magical realist take on the One Crazy Night genre which is a genre I’m fond of.  The best one, Scorsese’s After Hours, it’s all happening cause the guy wants to get laid and not be stuck in his daily grind, and then things go wrong.  It’s simple and clean.  This one has some of that quality to it, that simplicity, at least in the opening stretch which is the most winning... 

8.   The Zen Diaries Of Garry Shandling-- I liked Garry Shandling back when and had a lot of admiration for his TV work, so I enjoyed this documentary about him.  It probably smoothed over a lot of rough edges, but the affection to it was nice, understandable.  But more, it was just that ... just hearing a guy who wanted to push himself a certain way’s always interesting.  I’m probably not one of those guys!  It’s probably a relief not to be one of those guys.  But it’s just interesting, hearing someone articulate all that and push for a personal vision of how he had to do what he did, at least for me.

7. Isle of Dogs-- the internet discussion around this movie was a bummer, but I just thought it was a really cool visit into Wes Anderson World.  The drums; the scene between Chief and the girl dog; there’s a Youtube video about the amount of work that went into stop-motion sushi that’s pretty jaw-dropping.  Sure, it’s always a wallow in style, but Anderson’s always got a heart-on-his-sleeve sadness shot through his stuff that I look forward to just as much.  He’s never just putting Futura font up there alone-- there’s always a melancholy that I think people are overly dismissive of.  

6. Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse-- weeks later, my very high opinion of this really hasn’t diminished much.  It’s just... It’s a creation of pop culture (a spiderman animated film-- which just has “Business Decision!” written all over it), using pop culture as part of its bones, as part of its toolset to make a larger case for the importance of pop culture and for an expansive and inclusive vision of what that culture can mean.  It’s about an artist who sees a void when he tries to imagine himself in his world, finding a place for himself in a larger pop culture “universe” by daring to imagine that there could be “alternate worlds” than the one he’s stuck in.  And it’s a stinging rebuke to the worst kinds of narrow fans who insist on a closed-off vision of what pop culture means and has to mean for its audience, at a time when that debate is very now.  While it may not be narratively especially interesting, it’s just so thematically generous besides being visually just such a delight, and comedically a surprisingly entertaining piece.  Spiderman is a crappy character, but I think that movie is really fucking a neat piece of work.

5.  The Other Side of the Wind-- It’s kind of astonishing this movie exists in a watchable state.  But also: it’s kind of good?  Or interesting at least.  There’s some stuff in it that’s just pointlessly mean and petty-- one character’s just about Welles trying to shit on Pauline Kael.  But it’s got a sort of exhausted quality that I find really... I just found it interesting-- everything hip goes stale eventually, and seeing someone who’d gone stale but was still Orson Welles, try to process that angrily-- I’m not sure how else a movie like that could work, which wouldn’t be as distracted by the moment.   It works here because so much time has passed, that you can read it in a way that maybe is more how it was meant to be read, perversely.  I don’t know.  It’s too weird not to rank.  The Other Side of the Wind!!!

4.   Paddington 2-- it’s just good!  I don’t know-- Hugh Grant fucking kills; Brendan Gleeson’s great; Sally Hawkins!  The first one’s o-kay, but the second one has scenes where they use the computer graphics to dazzle in more childlike ways that feels so much more fun to me than other CGI spectacle movies.  The pop-up book sequence, in particular, I just thought was really something to watch.  I saw some of it on an airplane and it stood out on a little airplane screen... 

3.  Death of Stalin-- just a mean, nasty, heartless movie, for the mean, nasty, heartless times we get to be alive for. The movie’s about a historically interesting period, but besides that, look, read the papers-- we’re a bad people, worse everyday, so seeing a movie about where that leads, what becomes of that, I don’t know, I thought that was pretty fun.  Fuck hopepunk.   

2.  The Ballad of Buster Scruggs-- It’s not my favorite Coens, but it’s just got a bunch of what makes Coens stuff work in it.  Done as simply as it is, you really get a clearer look at what makes their stuff work than usual.  Especially because they just tell you flat-out in the last one-- “You know the story, but people can't get enough of them, like little children. Because, well, they connect the stories to themselves, I suppose, and we all love hearing about ourselves, so long as the people in the stories are us, but not us. Not us in the end, especially.”  They present fools scampering around hiding from death, chasing foolish dreams, hiding from the bleakness of the world, and then death finds them, that bleakness finds them, a darkness awaits.  And that’s their movies-- comedies and dramas. If there’s some songs, it’s a pretty good time.  They’re my favorite directors going.  

1.  Support the Girls-- when I think about it, this movie about a breastaurant manager having a bad day is probably the best movie I saw this year, in terms of just... It was just the warmest movie towards people generally.  Or well, not people-- women specifically.  It’s a love-letter by Andrew Bujalski to working class black women (such a weird thing to write out!!) and just... Without being sugary hope-hope-rah-rah bullshit-- it didn’t end up on on some shitty Vox list of “things that make tumblr morons want to hug themselves” with Discworld and Harry Potter and Brooklyn 99.  It’s admiring without sliding into glorifying, or over-sentimentalizing, or faking the underlying exhaustion of it all, how exhausting it all is.  Regina Hall gives probably the most likable performance this year, though the Oscars seem almost certain to ignore it.  It’s about characters keeping their dignity in an undignified world, in a system that's designed to rob them of that dignity as the basis of its commerce.  And it just has the best ending-- one that the experience of seeing and feeling really kinda would beat me trying to describe it in words, the way you want from a movie (provided you feel what it’s trying to get you to feel, which perhaps is a big if).  I think it’s a smarter movie than it lets on, but it doesn’t really matter as much as how much more empathetic a movie it is than anything else I can imagine being out there this year...

Worst Movie: look, I saw Sicario 2, but I knew what I was getting myself in for there. I hated Sicario 1, and I think everyone involved in those movies is fucking braindead.  So I can’t pretend I was like “Oh no Sicario 2 how could you” because I knew.  I knew.  So for me, even though Sicario 2 is academically worse, mathematically the worst movie, I’m still going with Duncan Jones’s Mute, starring Paul Rudd and I don’t know who else, assholes, all assholes.  Just the most unbearable shit-- hand-me-down visuals from Blade Runner, trying to bring life to some dopey rudderless story about toxic masculinity, but utterly failing to do so.  Just a slog.  A very unpleasant memory. It’s delusion that it was “saying something” about men and patriarchal violence, was almost as noxiously stupid as imagining it had anything interesting to say about the future or technology or just anything, anything at all.  Just bad.  Just a bad, unentertaining movie.  

#year in review