#I was so afraid they would

[nerves-nebula]

YEAH OK FINE ILL WATCH THE FURRY/VORE BAIT MOVIE

#nnstuff #nnart #fluffyvenom #mr snake #mr wolf #the bad guys #yes I related to the snake yes I fully supported him the whole time #thank the gods fox & wolf didn’t get together #I was so afraid they would

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[chloesimaginationthings]

Abby and the FNAF puppet would get along..

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #abby schmidt #charlie emily #charlotte emily #fnaf puppet #fnaf marionette #michael afton #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf 2 #fnaf pizzeria simulator #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #Charlie Emily finally mentioned and drawn!! #I’ve had her ghost design on the back burner for awhile so I’m glad I finally drew her! #I BELIEVE so heavily Abby would befriend all ghost kids #she just gets them fr #Michael isn’t scared of the Charlie it’s more complicated than that #in some sense he just feels guilty anytime he sees the puppet #dont worry though Charlie isn’t angry or afraid anymore 🖤

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd) #because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

[lazycranberrydoodles]

everybody go home. this is my magnum opus

#HELP THIS IS KILLING ME #the original version of this had hua cheng in a ‘i have a CRAZY wife she hates STUPID PEOPLE and LOVES DOGS and im NOT AFRAID TO USE HER’ #but if hua cheng was at midwestern gas station number 472 in the novelty slogan tshirt aisle #she for sure would get some sort of ‘your wife (woman symbol) vs MY WIFE (wonder woman silhouette)’ #or ‘trophy 🏆🏆 WIFE’ #or possibly a ‘return to wife if lost’ #or ‘i have a SMOKIN HOT wife’ #or ‘im the BOSS til my WIFE gets home’ #or ‘5 things you should know about my WIFE: 1. she is my queen 2. she is a bit crazy 3. she can whoop your ass #4. she says whatever she is thinking 5. mess with her and theyll never find your body’ #or ‘i go to work so my wife can COLLECT SCRAPS’ #or even at worst. ‘ my wife is the PRINCESS the mouse LOST’ #xie lian would be initially embarassed. but you know her ass would be wearing a ‘proud PROPERTY of an AWESOME WIFE’ shirts @ heaven meetings #or ‘i’m not scared of ANYTHING - my WIFE is a CALAMITY’ #which was sold as a metaphor for your wife being mean and powerful. but she wears it straight. #or even ‘im not GAY but my WIFE is’ lmfao #anyway. #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #hualesbians #modern au #tgcf meme #my art #art #tgcf shitpost #lmao #mxtx

[pankomako]

if this post gets 2000 notes i'll finally call failboat. yes i have his phone number he gave it to me. pic unrelated

#failboat #like i would text him if he had a fucking iphone like me and most other people but he had to have an android #meanwhile i've been too shy and afraid of catching him while he's busy to call #it's been this way for the past. yknow. 2 years and however many months #so go ahead and force me to do it if you want chat. go riiight on ahead

[ryllen]

eepy 🐲

ryumimi & half dragon sebek AU

#twisted wonderland #twst #sebek zigvolt #twst yuu #twst mc #malleus draconia #dragon is ryu in japanese #this turns into au #fanart #instead of being too weak he is now afraid of being too powerful and destructive #malleus is so plain without the horns #somehow i imagine s ilver is still a human #now he is called a monster for being too powerful instead of being pointed at for being too weak #hm to imagine maybe his mother fled not long after his birth bcs it would be too dangerous for her to stay at the human village #and so no one really teaches him how to control his power #maybe he only reads from books his grandfather somehow have about dragons

[fefairys]

inspired by the poll asking if you would tell your best friend if you were in love with them

#cuz a lot of ppl on that poll were like #'no way id be afraid of ruining the friendship' #but idk man ive told friends i had a crush on them #and got rejected and like #we just. continued being friends like normal. nothing changed #except they would sometimes tease me about my crush haha #but it wasnt a big deal and didnt effect our friendship #and also getting rejected helps me get over an unrequited crush #so it eventually faded after being told theyre not interested #and we were just best friends still #nbd! #poll

[helaenahightower]

Harwin Strong reacting to blood-soaked Rhaenyra vs Jason Lannister reacting to blood-soaked Rhaenyra

#rhaenyra targaryen #harwin strong #jason lannister #hotdedit #hotd #house of the dragon #gifs #mygifs #mine #glad to see her future baby daddy is a man of taste #i was so afraid he would be boring. thank god

[miwtual]

im so fucking tired of the disrespect gifmakers get on the gifmaker website

#kai.txt #negativity tw #(sorry these are gonna be a lot of tags. i have a lot of feelings and i dont know where else to put them) #we make gifs and nobody reblogs them #when they do get reblogged all people want to tell you is that your gifs arent good enough to them and rip it to shreds #'you're missing x' 'why didnt you do y' 'if i made this i would have abc' 'hey op ur wrong and this is why' 'i dont like this op' #reposters dont even reblog your fucking gifset but they'll save your gifs to repost later asking for how to do something #that they could have asked you how to do in the fucking first place #we reblog ourselves constantly because nobody else will and maybe to make our work look like it has more notes than it does #to make ourselves feel better about the lack of interaction we're getting #and then when we TALK about this frustration we have. people who are too afraid to say it to our faces #go on anon in our askboxes and tell us how we're somehow selfish for wanting people to interact with the sets #that we spent time on. hours. days. WEEKS in some cases #or we get anons who tell us the reason we dont have notes are because we arent good at gifmaking in the first place #but this is all on anon. because they're too scared to tell it to our faces #they're too scared for us to see that they ARENT a gifmaker and that they dont know how to do it any better either #they dont see us as people doing something we love as a hobby. they see us as content machines that dance like court jesters #im just so fucking tired of the disrespect #and this sentiment goes for more than just gifmakers. graphicmakers. artists. literally any creative hobby shared on this site #we get treated like shit and for what? literally for fucking what.

[ye-olde-trojan-horse]

forget black cat regulus animagus… may I present:

#so squish #but so death #hehehe #I want to squish it #but also ✨afraid✨ #james potter would also squish it #I know this for a fact #regulus black #black cat animagus #marauders era #jegulus #james potter #starchaser #marauders

[gunsatthaphan]

🏳️‍🌈!!!

#last twilight #last twilight on stage #markohm #namtanfilm #mark pakin #ohm thiphakorn #namtan tipnaree #film rachanun #gmmtv #UHM HELLO #cannot believe they did this in front of everyones salad AND at an event thats supposed to be for LT lmao????? #also DID I OR DID I NOT tell you markohm is happening #and no one would believe me so go figure #im screaming #they really said marknamtan?? idk her this is a gays only event #ive been waiting for this soft launch thank you gmm #also not to be that bitch but im afraid my girl namtan is ready to risk it all in pluto #shes gonna go wild #homegirl is READY to be gay lmao #and i love her for that #now where is part 2 i need it #on that note happy easter lol #ive been struggling in the last few weeks so sorry for being inactive i guess #ill come out of my cave when part 2 is happening probably lol

[chloesimaginationthings]

What is the relationship between Michael and Gregory like?

I’d say like dysfunctional brothers

#ask reply #I think Gregory finds Michael cool #but also isnt afraid to make fun of him or fight him #Michael on the other hand is a bit more complicated #Michael sees a lot of himself in Gregory #so he’s more blunt with Gregory than say he is with Abby #but even with that he has a need to protect and teach Gregory to keep himself safe #Michael would never consider himself a ‘dad’ #but he is in ways taking up that role #I think if I do more comics with them the more ‘father-son’ dynamic will shine through more #as of now they are same wavelength brothers 💜

[little-pondhead]

Danny moved to Gotham.

Freakshow is touring in Gotham.

Freakshow knows Danny is in Gotham.

Danny knows Freakshow is still after him.

Danny's faith in heroes has been shattered.

Danny turns to the only person powerful enough to run Freakshow out of town, hopefully for good.

Danny turns to the Joker for help.

The Joker is looking for a new punching bag sidekick after Harley Quinn left him.

Danny is just the perfect person to be shaped by the Joker's hands.

Danny becomes the new Joker Junior.

#pondhead blurbs #dpxdc #how we feeling about this fellas #i think it's an ideal angst fic #but i don't wanna write it lol #the younger danny is the worse it gets #someone said that danny shouldn't be afraid of the joker because he's a clown and freakshow is a ringmaster. not a clown #if i find that post i'll tag the creator cause i can't remember rn #but i'm imagining danny who is heavily traumatized and scared and lonely #finding out that one of his worst enemies he hoped to never see again is hunting him and is so close danny has to check his eyes every day #just to make sure they haven't turned red #his anxiety is out of control and he's not about to go find a Bat or Bird to talk to #who would believe him anyways? he's a monster #but danny needs help cause he will not survive this on his own and he knows it #freakshow haunts his every waking dream #but freakshow isn't from gotham. he doesn't have the city's curses engraved into his blood. he never died and he's not truly teasing death #so danny chooses to plead for help from the only predator bigger than freakshow (in his eyes) who IS from gotham #danny goes to the Joker. prepared to offer everything but his free will and free mind. he can't give those up. it's all he has. #danny is a feral house cat asking a tiger to take care of a mountain lion for him by offering the tiger his own liver on a silver platter #joker is...delighted? maybe? no one is quite sure. but he takes what danny offers. #here is this little boy. almost the same age as the second robin when he died. pleading for the JOKER to be his savior. this will be fun

[leopardmuffinxo]

i need to be more annoying about my OCs.

#idk why i feel like i would annoy the shit out of people #because i’m not annoyed when i see others doing it #i’m over here like a silent cheerleader #happy to see them happy #i think it’s because i’m shit at wording things eloquently #so it just looks like jddjkhfskhufjwidjed #this is also my space to be weird #so why am i afraid to be weird lol #i am in my feelings and i HATE it #personal

[ohitslen]

Promises

He should know better. 

Wolfwood has seen Vash make promises, or hear about the ones he has made in the past. He has also seen the end of each one and how every single time the outcome is less than what was promised. 

Vash likes to say embellished words, with a soft and determined voice that lures you into his hopes and dreams, it almost feels like a spell, as if he was calling for you to come closer and believe him. But Wolfwood knows better.

He believes in him, but Vash is much closer to being an idealistic dreamer than a realistic person like he is. He might not be aware of it, but his beautiful promises of a better future give people hope, a hope that is usually embraced with things like disappointment and abandonment. 

He doesn’t think that Vash does it with the intent of looking for any of those things. Far from it, he might even do the impossible in order to accomplish said promises, but life is too short and humans are too mortal for his wishes, so in the end, most of Vash’s promises end up being empty or they come to haunt him as a reminder of his failed vows. He admires the man, for his perseverance and idealism, but he also hates the man, for his stubbornness and lies. 

Wolfwood knows all of this perfectly to a tee. And yet, he has also found himself being drawn to his world. Because he also dreams of it.

A world in where his always present calls for love and peace exist, a world that is far more kind than what he might deserve, a world in where the kids can be happy and roam around without any worry in their heads, a world in where he can peacefully turn grey with age and his hands can shed the harsh callouses of his life. Who knows, maybe a world in where he and Vash can finally know the peace that was taken away from them, in where they can share the calmness that comes with the passage of time, indulging in every tick of the clock welcoming with open arms whatever comes their way without any fear.

It is a beautiful promise. But Wolfwood is a person that has to keep his feet on the ground, indulging in “what ifs” would only make things harder than what they had to be. He can’t have any ifs if he can’t make it through the now. And by the way he is carrying his present, he is doubtful he will even get to see a shed of that promised world that Vash tries to drag him into. So why mourn something he doesn’t even have, or will ever have for that matter.

He hates the way Vash seems to promise things so easily. His tongue silky and pliant, slipping divine words one after the other, promises way too big for what that barren world can actually fit. 

But when Vash talks to him in that holy voice of his, when he hears him say “It’s okay, everything will be alright, I promise” so gently right on his ear, while he holds his face so tenderly making him focus on him and nothing else, he wants to believe him.

He has seen the end of his promises. He knows how impossible they are. But for once, he wants to believe it too. Believe in that loving world that will cradle them both until they fall asleep, listening to the soft sound of the wind laughing while the moons smile upon them. 

So he allows himself to indulge in the warmth of his palms, leaning into the comfort of his existence, feeling the soft air of Vash’s breaths against his skin while their foreheads meet in a touch that feels like a hot brand that will melt him.

For an instant, he allows himself to be selfish and believe that maybe, that is how living in that world Vash so desperately fights for would be. Soft and warm, making him feel safe in the hollow of Vash’s hands where the world seems to fit so well. A world where the blue sky is a blanket that covers the love and care that is nestled in it like the one in Vash’s eyes. He wants to see that world.

For now, he will selfishly think that the world that fits in Vash’s hands is right there in where he is holding him, where his blue eyes are drowning in the light of the sunset dripping with love and care while looking at him, that the gentle touch of Vash’s thumb wiping his tears is the same as the kiss of that laughing wind in that distant future, where the smile of his eyes overcomes the smile of the moons.

He should know better. But he loves the thought of that world. And he hopes that Vash will get to see that world, because that gentle sight is more fitting for someone like him than the one of his violent world.

He promises to himself that he will do what it takes for that day to be possible. Even if the end of that promise will be empty for Nicholas, he knows it will be a full one for Vash. So it really isn’t that empty for him after all.

He hates his lies, and he hates how true they sound, but Vash’s embellished words are far sweeter than his bitter thoughts so they feel better on his insides, almost like a balm that cares for the wounds of his throbbing, painful reality.

He should know better.

But aren’t humans weak at the promise of love?

#yeah….mm…mhm yeah #my thoughts were going crazy with this one. because WW crying is something that has me week on the knees #WEAK FFS #also the thought of him becoming bare and emotional at the hands of Vash makes me want to jump around until I pass out #think of it. he is afraid of him in a way. but he trusts him so deeply too it’s such a contrasting and little contradictory thing #more like. denial after denial but yk what I mean. because that’s the whole post #also as a fun fact. while on the making of this thing the line of “it’s okay. everything will be alright. I promise #it’s meant to be said by Vash to WW #but also I did it considering that a)Vash is saying it to himself as well and b)it’s something WW wants to say to Vash as well #they are both incredibly pained men and they know it but don’t adress it. so verbally saying such words to each other issssUUUEHWHAGAH #ah yes. the intimacy of being emotionally vulnerable with the person who you would trust your life to but never openly say shit to eachother #isn’t that such an amazing flavor? I won’t lie to you it’s one of my favorites #trigun #vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun stampede #trigun fanart #wolfwood #nicholas trigun #nicholas the punisher #lenssi writes #lenssi draws #trigun 2023 #trigun 98 #because I did a mishmash on WW design bc this is meant to be TriStamp time skip in my mind #his eyes were originally their canon steel blue/grayish tone. but while doing the lighting the brown looked gorgeous #i couldn’t help myself so I left it that way. because there is something so beautiful abt his eyes shining like that in #the afternoon light while he becomes undone under the sunset ya feel me? #OHFUCKIALMOSTFORGOT another little detail. Vash’s right hand doesn’t have a glove and it’s on purpose btw you’re welcome