#I will fulfil all the promises of my campaign to the best of my ability

[screemnch]

The Pathologic Russian and English analysis: Bachelor Daniil Dankovsky Part 2.

I've decided that whenever I go to have my psychiatric evaluation, I'm gonna show them these series of mini-essays. The things we do... Anyway, here's the second half of my prickly prick analysis, this time from our precious miracle worker!

As the Changeling: the Bachelor in this campaign is actually a lot more consistent in between the English and Russian versions - he’s a lot meaner, condescending and all we know and love him for, so to speak. In terms of formality, he almost always refers to Clara using the informal “you,” which is understandable - she is a child, and someone who he doesn’t hold in high regard. His mannerisms, unlike in the Haruspex run, don’t change halfway through the narrative, which can be attributed to many different things - the fact that in the Haruspex run Eva survives and so Dankovsky never has to deal with the guilt of her death, for example. Or maybe the idea that he constantly treats Clara’s abilities with scepticism and doesn’t see her as crucial to the fulfilment of his plans, almost viewing her as disposable. Whatever it is, the manner of speech is very similar to how it is in the first half of the Haruspex run - you’ve got your little filler words, diminutives, rough words and an informal but deliberate sentence structure. There is a lot more frustration in his dialogues with Clara, which can be explained by the idea that he is literally out for blood for half of the game.

Overall, I was a little sad to see how many dialogue options just lead to the exact same thing via different routes, so there won’t be as many notes here as I’d like there to be. That being said, I’ve already started gathering material for the Changeling section of the analysis. Additionally, with the repetitive nature of Clara’s campaign, I’d like to preemptively say that I’ve done my best to put these in chronological order, but I make no promises on accuracy. That being said - here are some things that I wanted to specifically point out.

This line is just… Riddled with curious differences. For one, instead of psychics, Dankovsky says that it’s bad enough that half the town is, specifically, “telepaths” which is… Interesting. And incorrect, which is probably why they changed it when translating. He then goes on to say “And those that aren’t, are extrasensory!” which is much closer to “psychic” than “faith healers.” In Russia, the term “экстрасенс” (read quite literally as “extra-sense”) refers to a person with any kind of psychic ability. Though you’ll mostly find it on shitty TV shows nowadays, and it feels a bit anachronistic to use it here, the term was first used in 1979, so hey, it could potentially make sense? Finally, the line itself is riddled with exasperated little words, which makes me really happy that I pointed it out when looking through the Haruspex dialogues. The last sentence especially conveys a certain urgency that kinda seems gone in the English version. There’s no presumption. Adding the whole “I presume” was probably a way to try and emulate this urgency in English, but it ended up being more of a “wow, the Bachelor is expecting people to do as he says” which is true, but the focus of the sentence is on the “can.” Something more like “Does that mean you can do this?” And also they cut out the exclamation mark in the first sentence, which I guess just doesn’t work in English orthography.

I… Don’t know what to think of this translation. Let’s be transparent here - the closest way to properly translate the last sentence in this line is to face the facts that Dankovsky would sound like the crazy beggar woman from Sweeney Todd - “Diabolic, diabolic…” he says. And while imps and devils can very well be used as curse words in Russian, this, surprisingly, is not one of those instances. In this case, I imagine the translators chose to go for the most straightforward translation. Like having someone say “Damn…” and the translation being “This displeases me greatly!” Which I think is hilarious, but also hopefully helps bridge the gap between the two versions.

Ok. What the fuck. This is the line in the Changeling route where Clara has to stay overnight at the Stillwater and the Bachelor is all like “Eva’s probably going to hand herself in to the inquisitor and we’re gonna go and save her tomorrow” except take a look at the Russian version. See anything different? See the exclamation marks? I feel like the translation team was so hellbent on making Dankovsky the prickliest prick on the block, that they forgot that he actually gives a damn about Eva. Like, there’s an urgent tone, and air of accusation in the way these sentences are formulated to portray someone who actually cares about the fate of the person he’s been living with for the past week. The Bachelor in Russian isn’t taking no for an answer in this case, because he actually cares. English Bachelor? Honestly, sounds like he’s pissed at Eva for trying to help him. Do not appreciate.

I feel it’s important to emphasise the difference in sentiment here. The way this line is said in English sounds very distant, indignant. It’s something I’ve found with a lot of Bachelor’s lines and I’m beginning to suspect that it may just be because Russian is my native language, so I just see it as more personal, but idk. In the English version it feels like the Bachelor is just considering the possibility of saving a person (which, by the way, with how much of an ass Daniil has been to Clara is a very interesting 180) but in Russian he sounds a lot more determined, a lot more focused on the “saving” part. In a clunkier, but more literal translation, the line would be “If not Simon, then I’ll take at least you away from this miracle-rich hole.” He’s still caught up in Simon’s death, and he feels like it's his duty to help at least someone out of the place that has done nothing but get in his way (when he arrived here expecting it to help him) so uh… Once again coming for the head of whoever said Dankovsky has no heart.

So uh… See, it’s funny because… Well, in English this string of dialogue doesn’t exactly make sense to me. What’s not to get, Clara? The Haruspex has a bone to pick with the butchers, which might interfere with the Bachelor’s plans. The wording is pretty clear too, so where does the confusion come from? At this point Clara has most certainly seen a butcher, she knows what he’s talking about. But then if you think about it, the Russian phrasing of that last sentence is wildly different. See, the original phrase is “He’s not impartial to butchers too,” and let me tell you something fun about that choice of words. See, while being “not impartial” to someone may mean that you have your own agenda you’re trying to push, it does not imply having any sort of issues with the person. In fact, most Russians would use the words “not impartial” when talking about a romantic inclination. And while I’m not saying it’s the intention of the writers, by any means, but uh… When interpreting this interaction as Dankovsky saying something easily misinterpretable out of pocket and Clara just raising her hands and saying “I refuse to comprehend whatever you’ve just told me,” it makes a bit more sense to me personally, than Clara simply not being able to follow along.

In terms of being “as close to the original as possible” this line is probably one of the most far out lines. There are some lines that are translated word for word, and then there’s… This. Don’t get me wrong - that doesn’t mean it’s bad. I can actually understand exactly why these changes were made - it’s so that I would get to talk about them! The biggest difference would be in the way the Bachelor refers to Burakh in this line. In the Russian version he uses the word “леший” (Leshy) which is a word some of y’all may know from games like Inscryption and Cult of the Lamb. Leshy (quite literally means “of the woods”) is a mythical creature in Slavic folklore - an entity of the woods, the master of the forest, an overall neutrally aligned one. In some stories he confuses travellers and leads them in circles or abducts children, while in others he is a benevolent but protective figure that will help those who treat him with respect. I won’t go into too much detail, because this is Pathologic, not mythology hour, but I still think it’s a fun little tidbit of knowledge, considering who the Bachelor is talking about. That being said, in the English version he calls him a “sod” which is at least tangentially related to greenery and the like, which I think is funny. The other differences in this line are mostly in regards to sentence structure and don’t change the meaning much, so I won’t wax poetic about them.

I’m having a goddamn aneurysm. I’m shaking, crying, losing my mind. Why did this have to be translated like this? It’s just literally “My god!” in Russian. You can say that in English. You’re allowed. Or maybe like “Dear god!” If you wanna keep the faux shock element of the word. Why blimey? Why? I don’t get it. Someone please explain. Additionally, the whole “look who’s here” has a more condescending vibe of “Look who’s  decided to grace us with her presence.” So yeah. The prickly prick factor is back, babey.

The Bachelor is a lot sassier in this route. I didn’t see it as potently in the English version, I guess, because in Russian the overall vibe of this line is “A little bit… After all, you’re the only sinless person we’ve got.” Which I feel communicates both the jab, the Bachelor’s resentment towards Clara and how fed up he is with her literal “Holier than thou” rhetoric.

The Bachelor rejects the notion of love winning if the polyhedron is preserved. However, in the Russian version there is no “you lose” in this line, which I feel gives a different vibe to the interaction. In the English version it feels a little weird - why is the Bachelor trying to convince Clara to go with his plan by telling her that she loses? Is that meant to be effective? Who knows, but in the Russian version the actual phrasing is closer to “we win from you” which can mean two things: the first one being the whole “we win and you lose” interpretation. The other is - we win at your discretion. We win in your game. And I don’t know, I’m writing this at 2 am, but I feel like the other interpretation makes more sense for someone trying to be convincing.

I don’t understand why this was translated the way it is. I also have no recollection of when in the game this takes place and the dialogue itself offers very little context. The line itself however is… I don’t get it. I’ve always seen the word “darling” as a term used to either someone very close to you, or in an ironic sense. The term Dankovsky uses here, however is “cute creature” (cute being the literal meaning of the word, but in combination with the “creature” thing, it’s more akin to “dear” or “sweet”) which is a term of endearment used, at least from what I understand in literature, in reference to an innocent, gentle, feminine person. Some writers use that epithet to refer to their muse. It does not have the same vibe as “darling”; it's a lot more delicate, as if you were referring to a flower. And I don’t see where they got “darling” from that. Additionally, this is the only instance in which the Bachelor refers to Clara using a formal version of “you.”

And that’s about it for the Bachelor in the Changeling route. The main differences between this and the English version come from two factors: the specific words used, and the lack of exclamation marks. No kidding. The way Dankovsky refers to some things was just translated in a way where it conveys the purpose of what he’s trying to say, but the vibe becomes completely lost. It was interesting to see just how superstitious Daniil’s manner of speaking gets when he’s talking to Clara, given his scepticism - he refers to mythical creatures, silver bullets, and even his defence of the Polyhedron is a very… Spirited one. In other instances, the difference in terminology lessens whatever emotion the line is trying to convey. That, and the overall “tamer” use of exclamation marks removes a little bit of character from the Bachelor. He comes off as a lot more composed in English, with occasional outbursts of frustration. Just like in the first half of the Haruspex campaign, the Bachelor in the original version is a lot more impassioned, whether the emotions he is communicating are disgust or sympathy, conceit or regret. I mentioned it earlier, but it does really feel like in trying to make Dankovsky seem like a cold, pragmatic asshole, the translators accidentally took the bite out of a lot of his lines.

That being said, I want to make it clear that I’m not bashing the translation in any way. Most of these differences come from heavily made decisions, opting for either translating things literally, or trying to convey the essence but losing a few things on the way. Translators always have to deal with that choice. Even with the little experience I have with translating myself, I can understand that a lot of these things potentially could not have been translated any other way. You wouldn’t want to have to play a game where every dialogue option is followed by a footnote explaining what this specific choice of words means, and how to properly interpret them - the player’s experience is a part of the game’s design. How you understand the dialogue is also a part of the narrative, especially with how much deception is woven into the story. With all that in mind, I still feel it’s important to eventually illustrate exactly what the differences are, because not only do the way certain phrases are translated shine a new light on the author’s intentions, but additionally - some people might never find out otherwise. So uh… Yeah. Coming up in maybe yet another month, if not more - The Haruspex as seen by the other two Healers.

#pathologic #pathologic classic hd #мор утопия #ramblings #daniil dankovsky #clara saburova

[your-fave-jewish-magical-girl]

I promised that I would become a Spy Classroom blog so here I am! And I will be ranking every single villain in Spy Classroom from worst to best.

Keep in mind that unlike a lot of series, I don’t actually hate any of these characters. Even though some of them aren’t very deep, I think they all fulfill their purposes.

Spoiler warning for Light novel season 1 (Volumes 1-4) and Anime season 1-2 (first 24 episodes) under text

David

Yeah, so this one goes without saying. I’m betting most of you don’t remember him. (I’m probably one of like 5 people who remember his name, Takemachi included.) but just for a refresher, he was the antagonist in Grete’s short story in SSC 1 : Bridal Royale and the finale of season 1. He is the president of Mannheim inc. and started a harassment campaign against a local meat pie owner to gain his recipe without paying. He attempted to take advantage of Lily (under the alias Lillian) under the assumption she was desperate and poor and turn her into his “lover”, which is really gross. He is just a violent, borderline pedophiliac scumbag and I hope he never shows up again. Overall there is not much to talk about since he’s just a guy who adds tension to the plot and exists so Grete and Lily can defeat him in the end.

Frisé

Ok, in his defense, having Orphan Gang Leader in your resume is really funny. You also may have forgotten him, but like with David from before, Frisé is a character from Bridal Royale/episode 6. He was in charge of a gang of child orphans which he picked up from the street and forced to commit crimes for him in exchange for food and shelter. If they (the orphan children) didn’t meet their quota, he would respond by physically abusing them under the guise of his expression of “love.”

Really fucked up guy, arguably worse than David from before, but unlike David, his fight with Klaus and Sybilla was cool and his philosophy of being someone taking in these kids with nowhere to go and giving them a home and food on the table while the government of Din all but abandoned them is pretty interesting, and goes back to Sybilla’s past in a natural way. (Also in the light novel, he is referred to as a golem looking guy before he is given a name which is funny.)

Eve

Yeah, so am I the only person who did not imagine Ever would end up looking like that? Thought she would look younger and a bit more disheveled.

Anyways, bad villains end here folks, While Eve doesn’t actually get to do much (especially since the anime cut out all the cool shit she did). She makes every moment count with her light novel screen time. Her wire ability is really cool and I hadn’t seen anything similar at the time of reading it. Her philosophy of extreme brains over brawn, while it doesn’t go anywhere (since she gets offed by Klaus like 3 pages later) adds context for the world of spy classroom. She treats soldiers as beneath her because she is a young adult in a world where that kind of combat is growing more and more obsolete.

Where Eve really shines is in Bridal Royale with her fight with Monika. She is the best out of all three of the antagonists in that volume. The way she used her wires to surround the living room and how Monika had to use her calculation skills to get out was awesome. Props to Takemachi for giving her a cameo in that volume because she was someone I wanted to learn more about (even though I forgot about her until I reread volume 1.)

Rip Eve, Takemachi cannot stand to see a girlboss win.

Matilda

So rip any anime-onlys I guess (though you should have heeded the warning.)

Yeah, I’d you’re wondering why Matilda is so low, she is kind of my least favorite main villain in season one of the light novels. She is the antagonist of Volume 3 of the light novel and will show up in season 2 as an antagonist for the former half of the series. With Guido and Olivia, the other twist villains, you don’t really see it coming. With Guido, because you are under the assumption that he is dead and that Klaus’s arc will consist of moving past his abuse. And with Olivia, she had previously been a mob with not much presence. You really had to not be paying attention or understand the formula to not think she’s gonna do evil shit.

Even so, she’s the “bad” kind of bad villain. Yeah you don’t sympathize with her because she’s a piece of shit who abused Annette, made her blind in one eye and literally gave her amnesia. But she doesn’t have any guiding philosophies that make her worldview understandable like most of the villains and she doesn’t get any cool fight scenes either. You’re really just wondering when they’re gonna reveal that she’s a baddie.

Her role as a character, despite how predictable she is is still good in terms of her role in the story. The actual conflict she creates between Lamplight (specially Monika and Thea) has created one of the best fights in the series revealing a lot of character between them that has stuck with both of them ever since. I love seeing Monika and Thea as rivals and Volume 3 convinced me of that. The impact she leaves with Thea as the end actually lasts too, creating legitimate questions Thea had to ask herself moving into volume 4. She is like the anti-Hearth in that way. The fact she actually unnerves White Spider speaks volumes about how deranged she is. The scene where she holds up her blue toolbox with White Spider in the room saying that she used that toolbox to beat Annette’s memories out of her gave me straight chills. Like holy shit, this woman should not have been anywhere near a child.

Her impact on Annette though…Christ. Rereading scenes with her and Annette in volume 3 with context make everything so much worse. She’s the only villain so far that Lamplight has outright killed. (Lamplight being Annette). I can’t say she didn’t deserve it.

And maybe that is the point of her, Takemachi didn’t her her reasons for acting like a live of shot or an ideology that justified it simply because. She is an awful person who did awful things to Annette because she’s a coward. Even so, that does not make it any less awful to read about her.

Corpse/Roland

Ok, before you scream and cry at me for putting Roland so low, let me explain: I think Roland is a good character, I don’t think he’s a good villain. This is because his actual character development happens in Volume 4 where he has been defeated is not acting like a villain

Roland’s role in Volume 2 was basically to be a decoy to distract you from Olivia, hyping you up for a showdown between him and Klaus when he couldn’t actually measure up, that was it, it was funny, but “Corpse the evil imperial assassin” ended there.

Now Roland has a different role in Volume 4. He is withholding information from the Foreign Intelligence Office and when he is giving information, he is warning Lamplight of Purple Ant. In the latter half of Volume 4, we learn a lot about him, how Purple Ant stole his life away and turned him into an assassin, abandoning everything, how he eventually got bored of being an assassin and wanted something new and exciting (a callback to when he became Olivia’s boyfriend.) Thea helped him defy his Master and fight for his freedom. While he did die, he died on his feet as opposed to living the rest of his life on his knees. And that’s pretty damn honorable.

But yeah, we see an ok fight between him and monika and him betraying Thea in Volume 4 was cool which does put him above Matilda. But his great aspect’s don’t really come from him being a good villain specifically.

Guido

Oh hey, on the subject of pieces of shit, we have Guido! Yeah, you can argue that we know less about Guido than Matilda, and I’ve heard people argue that he is the worst villain. I doubt that, as of now, the information we know about him is scarce. We know he was a member of inferno and was basically like Klaus’s Dad, he treated him harshly and insulted him. For some reason, he left Inferno to join serpent and let the rest of his team minus Hearth and Klaus get killed on the Abyss Doll mission. We don’t know why he acted that way to Klaus, and we don’t know why he defected.

One reason I am putting Guido above Matilda is that he actually gets one of the most badass fights in the series. Takemachi did NOT pull his punches with Guido. The actually build up to Guido was great and well foreshadowed. The flashbacks with Klaus and him could easily have been interpreted as an arc for Klaus to overcome Guido’s death and accept Lamplight as his new family, and we got that…just not in the way we were expecting. Guido is my favorite kind of twist, a twist that is completely inevitable in the context of the story and makes you goes “How did I not see that coming?” Even though all the evidence was right there. His fight with Lamplight is on par with later fights in the series like Purple Ant or the one in Volume 5.

Second reason, I don’t think we’re finished with Guido just yet. We know next to nothing about Serpent (and I doubt It’s the standard run of the mill imperialist type stuff the empire does either.) and discovering serpent is going to give us clues to Guido and why he did what he did.

So yeah, while we don’t get much of him, we will soon. His role as an antagonist is extremely well fulfilled given his lack of time and his impact on Klaus sticks with the rest of the series, overall, great villain.

White Spider

No image yet! Anyways, White Spider is great. He isn’t the most memorable, but he breaks the formula for a Spy Classroom villain. White Spider is a serpent member, and so far the only villain Lamplight has not defeated. He stands out from the rest by being a guy who is pretty reasonable-ish. He doesn’t make messes when he fights and he knows his own limits. Also in the fight with Klaus in Volume 3 he was really funny. He has a concept of morality (thinking Purple Ant and Matilda are monsters) and really is just here to get the job done. From what we’ve seen with him so far, his mushroom appearance is great full exaggerated (which is sad, rip mushroom boy) but he makes for a good straight man when communicating with the rest of the villains. Not that much to talk about, but I do hope to see him more!

Olivia

Talk about a controversial pick. Yeah Olivia is a really underrated villain and I am fully planning on writing and analysis on her and how she acts as a foil to Grete one one these days. (The anime completely nerfed her design from the manga lmaoooo)

Anyways, I really love Olivia. She is a bitch, she is selfish, she is insecure, superficial and jaded and I love her. The buildup to Olivia was fantastic, you wouldn’t be blamed if you thought she was just going to be some random mob while the girls hunter for Corpse. But like with most spy classroom twists, the villain was right in front of us.

It was less predictable than last time, but the way Olivia was revealed to be a villain in the light novel was no short of awesome. She is so awful and I love her to bits. Her relationship with Corpse makes for a wonderful contrast to Grete, their dynamic is inspired and brings out the best and worse in both of their characters. Her time in the underground brothel thinking that was all she would ever add up to before meeting Corpse really stuck with me, and knowing what we know now about how Corpse actually thought about her, she wasn’t really deceived. Olivia was an opportunist. She saw Corpse as a way out and she took it, same with Roland. You hate her for making the choices she did but you can never fully blame her. It’s could she have even escaped her soul sucking existence if she hadn’t taken his hand.

I really want to write about Olivia in the near future because she is my favorite villain to think and write about, and she does not get the appreciation from the fandom she deserves

Also, I hate how they cut out the final scene with her and Grete disguised and Uwe. It was the perfect ending for her character before getting captured by the republic.

Purple Ant

Yeah, this should surprise nobody. But hey, guess who has an official design now. (Pleasedontfuckuphisdesignintheanime)

Purple Ant is the best villain in Season 1 by a long shot. He is cunning, sadistic, manipulative, charming and so much more. He is the king of Mitario, the greatest villain Lamplight has faced so far. With the manpower of 400 Ants worldwide. He challenges all of Lmaplihht at their own games. All without lifting a finger. He holds an iron clutch on the lives of hundreds of people he believes are lower than him. Miranda, Barron, The bartender, Corpse, the accounts of their torture burned into the brain of anyone who read volume 4.

Purple Ant breaks people, targets in no way excluding, pushing even Klaus to the absolute brink in a way we have not seen in this entire series. Being an Ant is a fate worse than death, your body and mind in control of someone else, being forced to murder, torture, capture, your family members held hostage and being punished if you do not do everything to a T—or just because he feels like it. When you become an Ant, you are stripped of you. You lose what makes you an individual and turn into another one of Purple Ants pawns.

That isn’t even breaking into the neat of him, his relationship with Hearth, Thea, Klaus, Corpse, holy crisp do I need to do a mega post on him. I feel like his ideology towards Mouzaians (the people he turned into Ants exclusively because he believed they were entitled and privileged after Galgad lost the Great War to them) has clues on serpents actual ideology. He offers a piece the puzzle that has been brewing throughout the entire series.

Props to Takemachi for keeping him alive…so far, I hope he gets in one or two extra moments before Takemachi offs him for good. I can’t imagine this bastard ever getting redeemed lmaoooo

#spy classroom #spy kyoushitsu #spy room #the rest of the tags are spoilers guys #David spy classroom #Friśe spy classroom #Matilda spy classroom #Eve spy classroom #guido spy classroom #Roland spy classroom #corpse spy classroom #blue fly spy classroom #Olivia spy classroom #white spider spy classroom #purple ant spy classroom

[conscious-love]

Why Holding On To Past Relationships Is The Worst Thing You Can Do For Yourself, Period

by Daniel Dowling via MindBodyGreen

Three years ago I was a 24-year-old failure-to-launch who lived on his mom’s couch and shared a bathroom with two teenage sisters. My friends had their own houses, degrees, and independence. And there I was, broke and depressed, totally reliant on my parents. It hadn't ever not been that way.

But in 2014 I made one small decision, which led to results I still sometimes can’t believe.

Today, I’m leading writers in a national campaign to rebrand my hometown, and I write for the best entrepreneurial and self-improvement sites in the world (mbg being my favorite; no lie). I make a great living coaching others to become the happiest and most successful versions of themselves. That’s a lot of change in just three years, from any perspective. And I can trace the transformation of my life back to one single thing: letting go of my exes—completely.

Breaking free from serial monogamy.

For most of my adult life I’d been a serial monogamist. I thought I just really loved love, but it turns out I was just really, really afraid of responsibility. So, for my personal dissatisfaction and unhappiness, self-improvement wasn’t the cure—it was a new girlfriend! And when that one didn’t work out, I'd find another. Yay for love!

Except it wasn’t love because I wasn’t becoming the best version of myself through these relationships. So after the last one ended ignominiously, I quit the love game—just not quite all the way.

I still kept in contact with my exes. And Jen—my former fiancee—was a particular crutch. We still visited each other even though we lived in different states. We kept in regular contact through texts and phone calls, especially during crises. I was still depending on her to make me happy.

Every time we talked, I renewed the connection to my former ways of thinking and behaving. It strengthened the conviction that, deep down, I could only be happy with Jen. She was my way out. If things got too tough, I could always come to her, and she could come to me. We even promised that if we weren’t married by 30, we’d get hitched. Talk about a safety net… (and, yes, also the plot of My Best Friend's Wedding).

Unfortunately, that safety net was keeping me from being the bold, successful, independent man I wanted to become. I just couldn’t seem to cut the cord on my own.

Flying without a net.

Then one day I was listening to an audio course from my favorite self-improvement mentor, Zig Ziglar. He was talking about how to right our wrongs and forgive ourselves. He advised writing apologies down and sending them to the appropriate people. But he had a special step for exes.

"When it comes to the forgiveness you want from your exes [Zig has a drawling Southern accent], I want you to follow all the steps I just gave you. But instead of sending off the letter, I want you to fold it up, light a fire, and burn the damn thing. Cuz there’s no point in renewing emotional connections with people who aren’t good for you. That’s why they're your exes! It’s time to move on from them and fully embrace your own life."

When one is slapped by truth, one’s jaw has a tendency of dropping, and the eyes have a tendency to glaze over, lost in a thousand-yard stare. That was the picture of my face. Might’ve even drooled a little.

I thought about Jen, and Em, and Katie. I thought about how important they’d been for me and how much security they’d brought me. And I knew I had to let them go for good. For good.

No more texts or calls. No more being Facebook friends. No email updates. No nothing.

I had anxiety about the decision, naturally—severing ties with my past and obliterating a huge comfort zone. But I had a future to step into. I had to do that on my own.

Dealing with the emptiness.

I missed my former girlfriends like crazy. But instead of feeling sorry for myself and longing for them, I prayed for them. I asked God for the same things I was asking for my own self-improvement journey—courage, faith, hope, positivity, inspiration, grace, and so on. I prayed for them to meet amazing and inspiring friends who could help them become their best selves. I prayed for my future wife. And I prayed that I would become the fully independent man capable of supporting her.

In all this praying, I completely changed my focus. Instead of relying on my girlfriends for faith and reassurance, I relied on God and my own ability to handle my problems. I took back the misplaced faith in my girlfriends and put it squarely in my own hands.

That’s when I finally launched.

Do you believe in life after love?

Just like Cher, I found my power only after letting go of my past relationships.

Without my exes as safety nets, it was just me. Nobody else was going to make me happy. So I did what I needed to do to make me successful—all the writing, studying, practicing, pitching, researching, and self-improvement. I actually become part of a community and made new friends. I fully embraced my own damn life.

Three months passed and I still missed my exes. But I was making money through my writing and making new connections.

Six months passed and I still missed my exes. But I’d started earning a full-time living through my writing. And I was growing more confident by the day, especially in my community.

A year passed and I still missed my exes. But I was fully independent through my passion. And I’d outgrown the anxiety and depression that had haunted me since I was a teenager—a by-product of my newfound faith in me.

It’s been three full years since I cut out my exes. I’m 100 percent over each one, but I’m human—I still miss them! Who wouldn’t? They were brilliant and beautiful women who were insanely fun to be with. I made thousands of joyful memories with each one.

Sometimes I’m reminded of them by hearing a certain song or watching a movie. But that’s just another opportunity for me to thank God for them and to pray for them. It’s another opportunity for me to be the independent and faithful man I know I can be for myself, for my wife, for my clients, and for my audience. It’s another opportunity to find security in myself and in a higher power. And through these opportunities, I’ve found the happiness and fulfillment I always wanted.

I advise all of my clients to go on a yearlong relationship fast, which most of them do. But the real growth comes when they fully let go of their exes and stop using them as crutches. It’s hard, hard, hard to do but absolutely essential if you want to grow.

Here are five tips to help you let go of your exes for good:

1. Start a self-improvement routine, complete with daily, weekly, and monthly goal setting.

Read this article as a primer.

2. Meet with someone weekly to discuss your personal growth and your journey.

This person will help keep you accountable to your goals and lifestyle choices. Can be a friend or an amazing coach.

3. Stay single for a year—totally single.

If you can’t be happy with you, you won’t be happy—truly happy—with anyone else. Love that you! Commit to being successfully single for a year. That means happy, connected in your community, fulfilled in your work, and in a state of continuous personal growth. (Your daily routines and long-term goals will be critical to this step.)

4. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people.

Join a faith community where people strive to live out the values you identify with. This is where you’ll find the deep connections that you can grow with—and that will prevent you from leaning on your exes as crutches.

5. Pray or meditate often.

Use your emotions as mindfulness cues. When you miss someone, pray for them. When you’re lonely, pray for the courage, positivity, and fortitude to make good decisions. When you think you can’t go on—that happens to everyone—pray for what you need. This will help you grow faith in a higher power and yourself, which is an absolute must if you want to be happy alone.

And being happy alone? That’s an absolute must for loving someone unconditionally in a relationship that can last a lifetime.

Link to article on Mind Body Green

Author: Daniel Dowling

#Daniel Dowling #mindbodygreen #article #relationship #love #breakup #heartbreak #moving on #strength #recovery #healing #self respect #personal development #quotes

[doomedideas]

A Full Interview With Anarchy2021

          My interview with Anarchy2021 was a long process, but for all the best reasons. Daylight, one of the members put it this way: “There’s a lot of collective action, which means we can’t spring into motion the way other parties can. But that means that while other parties are disjointed and frantic, we are a united front and a solid party to follow.” I’m rather inclined to agree.

         On July 21st, the Journalist conducted an interview with the members of Anarchy2021. We recommend that you read their member introduction post here before continuing with this article, and that you also make sure to check their policies and writing on their official blog after you are done reading this article.

         Anarchy2021 is one of the first few parties to reach the 8 member limit, but instead of constantly talking over each other like many others in group interviews, they made sure to cross-check their answers to my questions until everyone in the party was on board, even despite time differences. Their discussion was in an open chat with me, and despite the times they disagreed, everything was resolved with civil discussion. Graphite mentioned that they had been working on their policies since 18 hours ago, and based on the timestamps of their posting, they must have worked at least 6 hours straight ratifying everything with each other.          This may seem like a long time, but keep in mind that these individuals come from all over Mcytblr. From Zablr to Hermitblr, CPK fans to DreamSmp fans, 3rd life watchers and avid small streamer promoters. At least two candidates admitted that they had argued before over c!Techno and c!Tommy discourse, but all I saw from any of them was peaceful cooperation and discussion so they could do what needed to be done.

         This reflects in their goals as a party as well. Anarchy2021 told me about their plans to help increase tag literacy on both Ao3 and tumblr, backing up their end goals with the time that the Mcyt fandom were able to remove a cc’s real name from their tag by simply refusing to use the tag long enough that it was causing wrangling issues. As █ told me, “These goals are real and achievable. They only require that we work together.”          Another of their goals, uplifting smaller parts of Mcytblr, is a goal quite a few parties share. However, this party seems much more prepared for the actual task. Not only were several members able to tell me the names of streamers that are actually below 1k on average, but they also are planning outreach so as to bring in the opinions of groups of fans they might not know about. I may be repeating myself, but Anarchy2021’s ability to recognize the need for differing knowledge and support systems, and their persistent drive to bring in the people that could help them set these things up, is one of the strongest parts of a party I’ve seen so far.

         Anarchy2021 doesn’t see winning as a limiter to do what they want to get done. They’re already publishing guides to help tag wranglers understand the needs of the Mcyt community on Ao3, while most other parties are still coming up with campaign promises.They’re incredibly well organized, already scheduling small cc appreciation days, writing music for their party, and planning outreach to Hermitblr’s catcatcher and new ccs on tumblr alike. Member Zaph noted that “Embracing different cultures is as important as it is useful,” and in this case, their words match their actions very well.

         The candidates of the Anarchy2021 party were very helpful and welcoming as I conducted my interview and got the information I needed. They’re not making empty promises- They’re already working hard to fulfil their campaign policies before the elections have even truly started. If you’re still unsure of who you want to support, I’d recommend checking them out.

#mcyt #mcytblr elections #My writing #-Journalist #Anarchy2021

[siumerghe]

“Double White” in Men with Sword: trust issues?

When Nansu King said that Tianji lost because Jian Bin didn’t trust Qi Zhikan my reaction was o_O?! Really?! 

I don’t think there is anything in the story that supports this claim. Even when QZK secretly communicated when someone, JB didn’t suspect him of being a traitor. He only wanted QZK to be honest with him, and after QZK gave an explanation (a very flimsy one, actually) JB was like: “Ok, I believe you 100%, no proof needed, pls don’t hide anything from me”. Murong Li did try to sow discord between them but the subsequent events show that he failed: throughout the story, “Double White” demonstrated stable trust in each other. Every time QZK got whatever he asked from JB, be it a royal token of authority, a carte blanche at crucial diplomatic negotiations, or commanding the allied army. And JB kept protecting him at court, even going as far as instigating the army to rebel(!) if QZK were to be punished for the unsuccessful campaign. 

There was only one(!) case when JB and QZK disagreed with each other (which is a normal thing and doesn’t necessarily indicate a mistrust) - whether to attack Tianxuan or Nansu. JB didn’t blindly accept the Grand Astrologer’s suggestion to attack Nansu - he spent the whole night thinking about it before concluding that Nansu would be indeed a better target. Still, he was ready to accept QZK’s opinion and attack Tianxuan, it’s just that QZK himself chose not to insist. So where is distrust here? (It was MRL, the source of QZK’s info, whom JB didn’t trust - and he was totally right doing so.)

At the moment, attacking Tianxuan indeed seemed more reasonable, however, future events showed that JB’s decision was the correct one: it turned out that Nansu had been targeting Tianji from the start (according to Nansu King’s own words). If Tianji had attacked Tianxuan, later Nansu would have easily swallowed both war-worn states, which probably was MRL and Nansu King's plan all along. Not to mention that Tianshu would have supported its ally Tianxuan, so first Tianji, already weakened by food shortage, would have faced war at two fronts - and then an attack by Nansu.

Thanks to JB not following QKZ’s (actually, MRL’s) suggestion to attack Tianxuan, later Tianxuan turned out to be the only kingdom that gave Tianji the real help (an army) against Nansu, as opposed to Tianquan and Tianshu, that provided only supplies (Tianshu withheld its army even when directly asked for help). 

The more I think about it the more I respect JB as a politician. Being a young ruler of a newly founded kingdom, without any older and reliable advisers, he managed: - to create a powerful army (in the beginning the situation was so bad that he had to protect the borders himself; not to mention that only several years ago Tianxuan took their capital(!) and stole the important relic), - to suppress the Grand Astrologer’s meddling in state matters (no, he couldn’t simply kill him without dire consequences for the state - at least, not in the semi-realistic setting of MwS S1), - to counterbalance the Grand Astrologer’s influence at court by elevating QZK (he basically exchanged the position of the High General for QZK - a position with real power - for the Astrology Office for the Grand Astrologer which turned out to be an empty title with no authority), - to protect QZK many times with clever political maneuvering, - not to fall into the trap of attacking Tianxuan...

Did Tianji have a chance to survive at all? What was JB’s fatal mistake, the point of no return?

Tianshu’s economic trick did weaken Tianji, but it was the risky decision to replenish the granaries by war after which everything spiraled out of control: precious resources were squandered on an unsuccessful campaign, Tianji lost a significant part of its army, morale plummeted, refugees appeared... However, war wasn’t the only option to resolve the food crisis: after QZK had been defeated, JB said that now they have to resort to buying food from other countries for high prices. So, perhaps, that’s what they should have done in the first place? Sacrifice their pride and NOT START A WAR BECAUSE OF A FOOD SHORTAGE?! I don’t want to mention the dubious moral of this decision (to murder people and steal their food). It’s like quenching fire with gasoline because war requires lots of resources. Instead, they should have bought food from other countries, confiscate excessive grain from rich and powerful (like they did to supply the army), and introduce a system of state granaries to prevent hunger in the future (such systems existed irl in Ancient China). These measures would have allowed Tianji to survive the crisis. At least, Tianji would have met Nansu as a stable state with the unscathed army (and with Tianxuan and Tianshu as potential allies against the common foe). In this case, Nansu probably wouldn’t even have attempted the invasion.

And whose suggestion it was to start the war in order to resolve the food crisis?! QZK! 

In the end, Tianji lost not because JB didn’t trust QZK - but because he trusted him too much and overestimated his abilities. QZK was a talented warrior and tactician, but strategy and politics weren’t his forte. He knew that he excels in warfare, so he tried to solve every problem by war - a big mistake. That’s where the lack of a wise Prime Minister in Tianji is especially apparent.

So, when Nansu King said that Tianji lost because JB didn’t trust QZK, he either lied or was uninformed. He and MRL did plan to drive a wedge between JB and QZK (like when MRL kept telling QZK that JB didn’t trust him), but in the end only JB and QZK (and viewers) can know whether their plan had been successful or not. The words about the lack of trust between JB and QZK aren’t supported by JB’s actions - they are just words.

When, in the end, JB said that he failed QZK he referred not to the lack of trust. With the best intentions in mind, JB brought QZK to the capital, placed him in the snake pit that was the royal court, used him as a counterbalance for the Grand Astrologer (thus pitting the Grand Astrologer and QZK against each other), showered him with gifts and honors QZK didn't need - and in the end sent to the war with no chance to win. JB many times promised QZK to protect him but failed to fulfill this promise.

#men with sword #meta #刺客列传

[huntresswarlock]

I am so sorry

But also no I’m not

1 for all because I am an evil bastard

Then more specifically

4, 12, 18, 24, 25, 35, 40, 42, 44, 45, 56, 63, 69 for Lady, Harmony, Nomiki, Odonys, Ione and Somnia

6, 44 and 58 for Nik and Valerie

20, 40, 42, 56, 65 for Icarus as well

💞💞💞

under a read more because i cannot shut up about my characters and i won't apologize for that!

most of these will b organized by character instead of by question but since you asked for 1 for all of em i'll put them all underneath it

1. why did they choose their class(es)? their subclass(es)?

Nik: they found a weird book in a thrift shop and accidentally figured out how to poke Ink-Treader to get certain automatic responses in the form of magic powers, which they swear are totally normal and not the result of a pact (conscious or not) at all.

Nomiki: her mother was a fighter who trained her well, and when she was a bit older she swore vengeance against that which destroyed her world, which she initially thought was the gods but then turned out to be The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar (Eldritch Edition)

Harmony: was always an outdoors-y sort of girl, so druid made sense when she was transported into The School, and then the Dictionfairy of the Summer Reading Court took a special interest in her and gave her some extra stuff on top of druidic powers!

Lady: built to be a… let’s call her a “personal companion,” whose main gimmick was that she is extremely intelligent about a great many things with a perfect memory; hence Archivist. as for the Artificer class itself, that came about primarily when she was working with an inventor/engineer named Rowan Keen, who enlisted her as his assistant in his projects. she learned a great deal about mechanical engineering and building from him, as well as receiving some upgrades like sewing/welding tools in her hands to assist her with this.

Somnia: she is very old (like, 650ish years old) and very in tune with nature already, and then the goddess of sleep saved her life with a drop of her blood, giving her the Stars circle powers

Odonys: they were formerly a Watcher Oath paladin, and took up that mantle because it's what their society set out for them. they made the choice to break away from it when offered freedom by the primal embodiment of chaos, though they have mixed feelings on this because it caused them to be exiled

Ione: she didn't have a choice 😔 nearly drowning unlocked some latent sorcerer powers

Valerie: stunt fighting training baybeeeeee

Icarus: also didn't have a choice, on account of nearly burning himself to death and then taking a deal from the god of fire to work for him in exchange for not dying

Lady

4. if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be?

Chaos Bolt is the meme answer, Dream (to reach out to Rowan) is the sad answer

12. have they ever been in love?

she's not supposed to have been. but. ;)

18. do they see themself as a leader or a follower?

a follower, for the time being! she has spent a long time taking orders and fulfilling requests, and though that part of her life is done now, she is still content to leave the leading to others.

24. which of the four elements speaks to them the most?

🔥🔥🔥 it's wild and free

25. what stories do they like to tell? what stories do they like to hear?

she doesn't really tell stories, but if requested, she would tell stories about things that happened to her

she likes to hear stories she hasn't heard before

35. which party member do they worry for?

Domino Domino Domino Domino Domino D

40. do they enjoy poetry?

yes! she's not really one for composing it, but it's nice to listen to

42. what are three words they would use to describe themself?

beautiful, intelligent, free

44. what do they need to learn?

WHEN WILL SHE LEARN!!!!! THAT HER ACTIONS!!!!!!!!!! HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

45. how do they hug people?

at 4'11", she's almost certainly going to be shorter than whoever she's hugging, so she tends to go for arms-under-the-shoulders and head-onto-chest. she gives really really good hugs, on account of all of her......... padding.

56. what animal do they most relate to?

caged bird that recently busted out :>

63. what fight has scared them the most?

before she got free will, we encountered some Crown-of-Thorns Starfish (In Space) that knocked her down to single-digit HP. though she wasn't physically able to feel fear at the time, the significant damage was deeply alarming.

69.how would they describe their party members?

Domino: "My dear friend, and a very kind and intelligent woman. I was very concerned for her when I was still under restrictions. Now I am no longer restrained in what I can think or do, but I find that I am still worried about her. She is always so melancholy when she thinks no one is looking..."

Rusty: "Something of an enigma. I only recently learned his real name: Rheneas Dolgoch. Apparently he used to be involved in various criminal activities before being framed for the disappearance of his boyfriend and then taking this portalhopping job for Dr. Horizon. I'd like to get to know him better, and have him teach me some things."

Clifton: "An honest man, with a good heart, and somewhat lacking the brains to think through his actions. Still, he tries, and he is responsible for getting Kinmati's attention with regards to my previous plight. I do wonder if adventuring across the multiverse is the best coping mechanism for the loss of his fiancée, but..."

Harmony

4. if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be?

the campaign stopped at level 12, but i think she would have jumped at the chance to use Animal Shapes!

12. have they ever been in love?

yes!!!! she loves her girlfriend, Mick, very very much

18. do they see themself as a leader or a follower?

she would describe herself as leading from the back, primarily encouraging others to be their best selves but not exactly telling them what to do

24. which of the four elements speaks to them the most?

🌎 (earth), because it's grounding and stable, like her

25. what stories do they like to tell? what stories do they like to hear?

harmy likes to hear and tell stories with happy endings!

35. which party member do they worry for?

she worried about both other party members equally, really, for different reasons. they were both working through more issues than her, so she felt the need to be the emotional glue holding them together and getting them to talk things out.

40. do they enjoy poetry?

not as much as prose, but she likes a good poem or two! especially free verse stuff

42. what are three words they would use to describe themself?

cheerful, outdoorsy, kind

44. what do they need to learn?

over the course of the campaign she needed to learn (and did learn) when to keep trying with diplomacy and when to fight back

45. how do they hug people?

really really tightly! probably while rocking them back and forth, too

56. what animal do they most relate to?

she turned into horses a lot so....... honse

63. what fight has scared them the most?

the fight with Mr. Ciliary when Mick seemed dead-set on sacrificing herself so that Harmony and Bill could leave scared her quite a bit

69.how would they describe their party members?

Mick: "My girlfriend!!!!!!!! She's so strong and cool and pretty, and she's a really big streamer, I love her!!!!"

Bill: "One of my best friends! He's really smart, and crazy good at fencing. And he takes really good care of Mikey."

Nomiki

4. if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be?

Mending would be really useful for her

12. have they ever been in love?

yes, she loves her boyfriend Ramiel, the god of storms

18. do they see themself as a leader or a follower?

a leader, even if she has to strike out on her own

24. which of the four elements speaks to them the most?

🌎 (earth) for strength and stability

25. what stories do they like to tell? what stories do they like to hear?

she likes to hear any stories told by her dad

she tells a lot of myths and folktales and fables

35. which party member do they worry for?

Xiro, at least until their fighting training started to pick up

40. do they enjoy poetry?

yes, though she's no good at reading or reciting it, she likes to hear it being spoken aloud

42. what are three words they would use to describe themself?

big, strong, stubborn

44. what do they need to learn?

nomiki needed to learn how to trust people and open up again

45. how do they hug people?

BIG hugs. huge hugs from a huge woman with huge arm muscles (and later on huge wings). like being wrapped up in a warm blanket in the dead of winter, like the promise of safety from any monsters out to get you. like a loaf of bread right out of the oven.

56. what animal do they most relate to?

cows! pretty, large, gentle, stubborn

63. what fight has scared them the most?

fighting the King of the Storm played right into her storm phobia, so much so that she couldn't even face it properly and mostly dealt with its offshoots

69.how would they describe their party members?

Xiro: "Xiro is my friend, and my little sibling. They're a really good fighter and baker, and they've helped a lot of people.

Muire: "Muire's my friend too. She's crazy smart, though sometimes she can forget not everyone around her is as smart as she is. But she has a good heart."

Odonys

4. if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be?

being able to cast Zone of Truth would come in handy when dealing with Q'ix, but since they only have two levels in paladin now, they've lost the ability to do so 😔

12. have they ever been in love?

tritons don't feel stupid things like love.

18. do they see themself as a leader or a follower?

follower. second-in-command, sure, but still a follower. though that's been shifting, lately...

24. which of the four elements speaks to them the most?

🌊 for its adaptability and power

25. what stories do they like to tell? what stories do they like to hear?

they don't really tell stories, but they like to hear the tales of myths and gods and heroes

35. which party member do they worry for?

as if they'd worry about any of their party members, hilarious! the closest thing would be mild confusion about Suvi's tangled concerns for the party's free will

40. do they enjoy poetry?

they've never had the chance to hear poetry, and i don't think they would enjoy it unless it was in the style of an epic

42. what are three words they would use to describe themself?

solitary, unpleasant, scarred

44. what do they need to learn?

how to exist around others, how to rely on others, what their place in the world is

45. how do they hug people?

they don't.

56. what animal do they most relate to?

a dog, a feral dog to be specific. they even resource guard!

63. what fight has scared them the most?

they have trained hard not to feel any fear when fighting, even on the brink of death. still, being chased by every shark in the ocean did get to them.

69.how would they describe their party members?

Q'ix: "Annoying. Good with their fiddle, gifted with magic, but I don't trust them at all, and I don't know if it's worth keeping them around."

Sloane: "A creature that skinny has no business being anywhere close to the middle of the fight, and yet that's where he is constantly, like Breidr when he gets underfoot. Except Breidr has more bulk. Still, he seems to know what he's doing with that sword."

Suvi: "I wonder if there's even anything underneath all the layers of falsehoods and misdirection she wears. But she has been helpful, and having a cart has come in handy."

Amber: "A woman of few words and strong convictions. I appreciate her presence."

Somnia

4. if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be?

Catnap, so she can cast it on Nemo and Gimmy!

12. have they ever been in love?

Somnia loves her children very much, and loves life, but in terms of romantic love specifically, no. as for the person she used to be before she died and was resurrected? ... also no.

18. do they see themself as a leader or a follower?

a follower, mostly. she's old, and she's done enough leading that she's happy to let her kids take the lead.

24. which of the four elements speaks to them the most?

🌎 (earth) on account of druid stuff as well as dependability

25. what stories do they like to tell? what stories do they like to hear?

somnia likes to tell the stories of the constellations on whatever world she finds herself on! she has an innate ability to know them and know what they mean

she likes to hear whatever sorts of stories are being told, she's really not picky; it's more important that the story is important to whoever is telling it

35. which party member do they worry for?

Nemo, constantly. they are so young and they've been through so much that she can't help but worry. Gimmy is at least an adult, though he still needs a bit of fussing over.

40. do they enjoy poetry?

i don't think she actively seeks it out, but she won't say no to listening to or reading some if the opportunity presents itself

42. what are three words they would use to describe themself?

motherly, empathetic, old

44. what do they need to learn?

she needs to learn that not everyone can be saved, or is worth saving, i think

45. how do they hug people?

with that good deep pressure therapy and mom bod

56. what animal do they most relate to?

tortoise, probably. old and slow and wise.

63. what fight has scared them the most?

the fight with the Found Footage when she was knocked out and wasn't sure whether Nemo and Gimmy would be okay without her. though tbh this upcoming fight with the Imago is more than likely going to take the scariest fight spot, at least until we finally face the Broken Lurker.

69.how would they describe their party members?

Nemo: "Oh, my poor little Orion... they're a good child, they really are. But they were surrounded by people who didn't know or care to realize that, and they've thought themself a nobody for so long that it hurts my heart. I wish they could see how many people they've helped just by being themself."

Gimmy: "Gimmy is very dear to me. He pretends like he doesn't care, but I know that he does. I can see it when he works on his little dragon construct, and when we were speaking to Minerva about Nemo's past. He just needs a little bit of help understanding how to be polite and kind to others, that's all."

Nik

6. which party member do they relate to the most?

tbh probably svetlana. they're both big smarties who have Simic roots! they're basically identical!

44. what do they need to learn?

how to care about other people beyond just "what can this person do for me?"

58. what do they think their role in the party is? what is their role in actuality?

they think they're the brains of this operation and the sole voice of reason, but really they're a bit of dead weight because i didn't build them very well

Valerie

6. which party member do they relate to the most?

tough to say because we've only had a couple of sessions of the campaign she's in, but right now probably Ashlyn. just two mean girls against the world!

44. what do they need to learn?

it's actually not a bad thing to be girly or to embrace femininity, it's not a weakness like she thinks she is but can be neutral or even a major strength

58. what do they think their role in the party is? what is their role in actuality?

she thinks she's the only competent member of the party and the fearless leader; she is an asset in fights for sure, especially once she gets some maneuvers, but in reality she is only one piece of the puzzle

Icarus

20. which of the five senses do they rely the most on?

hearing! icarus has always had impeccable hearing and has relied on it a lot when sneaking around

40. do they enjoy poetry?

he does not talk about the angsty teenage poems he wrote when he was younger and didn't realize he was trans. but i think if he applied himself he could be a good poet, and he likes to read and listen to it.

42. what are three words they would use to describe themself?

selfish, failure, coward

56. what animal do they most relate to?

prior to almost burning to death, he would have said a swan. post-burning... an ugly duck

65. what is holding them back?

what isn't holding him back tbh. he has a lot of issues stemming from being raised to think he was perfect and then tossed aside as soon as he stepped out of line. i think the number one thing though is the image he has of himself as a bad person who does bad things. he used to be a bad and selfish person who has hurt a lot of people; after his near-death experience he became really humble and considerate, but still thinks of himself in terms of his past actions, instead of what he is doing now to redeem himself. what is holding him back is his inability to recognize that he's changed.

#manicdragondreamgirl #thank u so so much alden ilu for indulging me #also sorry for the wait this was hefty

[foxurns]

Black Lives Matter.

     This blog very rarely talks about serious issues— in fact, I think this is the second time I’ve even mentioned something anywhere near this hefty. I’m sure many, if not all of you, have seen quite a bit regarding this topic and the murder of George Floyd, but I’m not going to let that stop me. My apologies, but this isn’t going under a “read more” either— because especially with everything happening right now, doing so would be unethical.      As a white American, and one who’s cishet-passing at that, there’s always been a certain amount of privileges afforded to me despite the fact that yeah, I’m poor and mentally ill. As I grow older and come to understand more of the world around me— particularly as I live in a small Midwestern town that, as a cousin of mine has put it, “has the racial diversity of mayonnaise,” this has been no more apparent than it has been now. With yet another murder, the people of the United States quite literally gather up their outrage, and for good reason. If you don’t listen to your people, your people will make you listen.     In the past, I’ve seen an entire family ran out of town for being black. I’ve heard stories from my aunts about the time a young black man, no older than 18, was nearly lynched because he dated white women— beaten to near death and left for dead on the side of the road. He was just lucky enough to be found by an Amish man and taken to a hospital. The slurs are endless and I can not count the sheer number of times I’ve heard shit, something along the lines of— “was he black or was he a [n-word]?” The respect is little and the disdain is endless. This is but a small number of examples out of many; just a few stories out of hundreds of thousands that very real people have gone through— and they aren’t mine, but they are someone’s. There are people going through similar right now, as I write this and as you read this post.     I never got to learn their names, and being white, I was given the privilege of not having to ask in the first place.     Being white means you can afford to remain silent and not have these things affect you.     Being white means you can hear the stories of victims, time and time again, brutalized by the system and the police who were supposed to be there to protect them— and not have to worry about that happening to you or your family.     Being white means it’s entirely possible that, in the end, these issues only ever reach you when a family member, friend, or coworker expresses disbelief; “Can you believe this shit? It was his fault!” And regurgitates some half-baked ‘defense’ on the offending officer’s behalf. I’ve heard it a dozen times and, chances are, you have too.      Perhaps, in some ways, worse yet still are those who try to lay claim to “neutrality” in favor of not doing or saying anything at all— the ones that watch it all go by and take up whatever side is most convenient for them in the moment. Similarly, but on the opposite end of the spectrum, I’ve seen a lot hashtags and statements from people and corporations alike that just feel... Ridiculously empty, like they’re little more than hand waves and dismissals from people trying to look good or pat themselves on the back for fulfilling some kind of flimsy social justice quota.        But, no matter how much this shit pisses me off, no matter how much or how loudly I might scream “fuck the police,” “eat the rich,” “punch a nazi,” and so on... At the end of the day, I am still white. These issues will never impact me, or those reading this who are white as well, the way they do POC. To be white is to have a privilege granting you peace and the ability to remain ignorant. To be white is to have the privilege of distancing yourself from the hell many POC are forced to endure every single day.  This is why, even now, the protests, rallies, and riots continue. Something has to be done. This status quo must change. No more hollow promises and meaningless peace offerings. No more letting the same shit happen over, and over, and over again. The people are scared, and they’re perhaps angrier now than they ever were. Rightfully so. There’s perhaps another conversation to be had about COVID-19 and its impact on current events, but I’ll leave that for another time.  Even when the current protests die down, because they will eventually, we can not allow ourselves to be satisfied by anything less than total reform. Let that spark inside of you burn, folks, but don’t let it burn all the way out before the fight for change is over. I’ve done a lot of thinking about what I wanted to do and what else to say in regards to this, and admittedly? Given my locale and current state of living, there’s not much. But with you guys, and the platform you’ve given me so far? There is something I can do. Quite a few somethings, in fact, though they aren’t physical. With this in mind, I’m gonna be running a donation campaign through Tiltify (main site linked here, campaign isn’t up yet) for Color of Change. In exchange for donations (no minimum required), I’ll be offering a high quality emoji/icon pack— so far, I plan on including the symbol of the raised fist, plus a custom spin on it ‘cause I know y’all like your skeletons, and quite a few solidarity and pride variations. I’ll let you all know more on this as I get more ideas and put the pack together— and don’t hesitate to send in suggestions either, if there’s anything in particular you’d like to see included in this pack. This has been a long post, but something I wanted to get out there. I also have a few more ideas and plans beyond this upcoming campaign, but I’m not 100% sure how I’ll be orchestrating those just yet... But all the same, expect updates on that in the near future as well. Thank you, all of those that have read this far— stay safe, and together, let’s do our best to make a difference! P.S. Fuck cops. ✌️ Don’t forget to check out this link to see what else you can do to help! https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

#tw racism #tw slur #tw slurs #tw violence mention #tw lynching mention #tw murder mention #blm #black lives matter #text #long post

[ionfusionpunk]

For the Fic title ask game: tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

[Did a little editing bc this got real long, lol]

Thank you, Nonnie! asdfghjkl I actually kinda blushed when I saw people had sent me asks for this, truly. 

Now, for this title, I had a lot of feels. It’s very poetically put, and I had to put some thought into what I might write because this sort of title, in my book, deserves that level of forethought. Ultimately there were two stories I might write based on this, the first a tad more generic than the second, but I would read them both if someone else wrote them, so I kept them, lol. Seeing as I’m currently in a SW state of mind, I stuck with that fandom, though if you’d like to see something for another fandom (Naruto, The Hobbit, LOTR, TMNT, BBC Sherlock, BBC Musketeers, Supernatural, LEGO Ninjago - all of the fandoms I’ve dabbled in), send another ask! I love hearing from others. Out of curiosity, before I give you the story, though, do you mind if I ask how you came up with this title? It’s just - so lovely, Nonnie <3

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow (First Idea)

Everyday is hard. Obi-Wan knows this. He lives this. He leads men into battle, he sends others off without his protection. He watches many, so many, fall, and feels the hundreds across the Third System Army snuffed with each campaign. 

He fights with Anakin, struggles to come to terms with the idea that his former Padawan is now a Knight with a Padawan of his own - that Anakin doesn’t need him anymore. He tries to fill in Ahsoka’s education where Anakin, in his inexperience, falls short. 

He takes on extra duties because he can, because the Republic needs him to, because he can’t bear to foist even more onto Cody’s shoulders (willing as his commander may be). He does everything he can to keep the morale and health of his men up, to spread hope and Light despite the dreary darkness the war saturates them all with. 

Obi-Wan does everything he can. He does. He tries so, so hard. He trudges through each day until he once more finds himself at his desk with yet another datapad and cup of lukewarm tea, staying up all through the night to fulfill each of his duties to the best of his ability. Then the day cycle restarts or an emergency comes up, and he’s right back at it again. 

It’s not all chaos, of course. There’s sparring with Anakin and Ahsoka. There’s the brief moments spent in the presence of his friends and fellow Councilors. There’s infrequent calls from Bant and Garen and even Quinlan. 

There’s his men. 

The 212th is, without a doubt, Obi-Wan’s second-greatest pride and weakness, tied with Ashoka herself. He loves them all - their individuality, their creativity, their dogged determination to push on as long as he does, and then more when they’re forced to carry him. Nothing brings quite as much joy or peace as walking through the halls of the Negotiator and greeting each clone by name or designation, nothing quite as satisfying as spending a quiet evening with Cody filling out paperwork and laughing over the latest stunts pulled by the 501st. 

And Obi-Wan finds that, if he focuses on those good things, those small moments of peace, then he can push off his own worries and nightmares and needs until tomorrow. He can ignore the Darkness slowly spreading for another day. He can endure one more sunset on some Force-forsaken planet where the Separatist forces seem to keep coming without end and the elements conspire against them. 

Until tomorrow. 

Just think of Waxer and Boil exchanging their latest updates from Numa. 

Think of Fives and Echo and the chaos they caused when Obi-Wan requested their presence for extra training for Ghost Company.

Think of Rex and his exasperated comm-calls about Anakin’s latest antics. 

Remember the way Cody tore through two squad’s worth of droids with Obi-Wan’s ‘saber just to give it back to him - the way his eyes rolled in fond exasperation once the battle was over and he berated his “ridiculous general” for never managing to hold on to his weapon. 

Everyday, think of them again. Drive the Darkness back until tomorrow. 

And tomorrow. 

And tomorrow. 

Do that, and victory will come. Trust in your men, in yourself, in the Force. 

The Force will be with you. 

Always.��

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow (Idea Two)

Obi-Wan is killed on Mustafar. Anakin overpowers him and drives his lightsaber through Obi-Wan’s heart. 

And Obi-Wan wakes up. 

He wakes up in his quarters in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. He wakes up with a tiny Anakin pressed against his side and hair an awkward, chin-length tangle. He doesn’t know what’s happening, doesn’t know if this is the Force or a vision or real, but he makes the best of it regardless. He spends two months teaching Anakin again, doing things he had often wished he had Before. And just as he finally thinks things are changing…

Obi-Wan wakes up in his quarters on the Negotiator. His chrono tells him it’s nine months into the war, and his heart aches with the phantom pains of his death. He still doesn’t know what’s happening. But still he forges on. He has a duty to do his best regardless of his own limitations, his growing insecurities and confusions. For one month, this time, he fights alongside his men, does his best to prevent the various disasters that had occurred the first time around. And if he notices that Anakin is a bit Lighter now, well. Obi-Wan is still swallowed by grief every time he looks at his former Padawan.

He wakes up, this time, on Manda’yaim, Satine Kryze a few feet away and snoring softly. Qui-Gon isn’t there, and Obi-Wan ignores the ache in his chest. For seven months they evade Kyr’tsad’s grasp, and he uses all the negotiating skill he’d lacked back then to keep Satine from falling into such a black-and-white world view. He wakes before he knows if he succeeds. 

This time he doesn’t recognize where he is. It’s hot, though, and unbearably bright. He walks outside into the waning daylight and counts two suns, observes nothing but sand and cliffs all around. He spends the next two days exploring, making his way to the settlement a few klicks west. He leaves more confused than before, because this is not the Tatooine he remembers. That night, as he meditates out beneath the triplet moons on the still-warm sand, he sees Qui-Gon. In fact, Qui-Gon talks to him. Obi-Wan is so overwhelmed, so confused, his heart pounding so sharply in his chest, that he cries. He cries for an hour, Qui-Gon hovering anxiously nearby until he can recover himself and explain in halting sentences everything that’s gone on. Qui-Gon promises to try and find some answers, then fades into the night. 

And Obi-Wan wakes up in the embrace of the Force. Peace, it whispers. 

He asks it why he’s here, why he’s seen the things he has. 

To teach you, it admits. To offer you a chance. 

Chance? What chance? A chance to torture himself with things that could never be? 

To offer you a chance to go back and change things. 

He’s shocked. Floored. All of that… was real? 

Yes. You needed to see all the things you could change so that you can decide what would best be changed. 

Me. You want… me to choose? Where I go, what I alter? 

Yes. And wherever you go, we will place the knowledge you need to succeed in your path. It will be up to you to recognize it. 

Obi-Wan thinks of all the good he could do, thinks of the Darkness he could prevent. “I want,” he says at last, “to be surrounded by Light. I want to go where I have the most chances of succeeding.” 

The Force hums around him, cradles him close. He, in turn, basks in its Light, in the comfort of home. And he lets the Force lull him back to sleep.

He wakes up on the ground in one of the only dog piles he’d ever participated in. Cody has an arm thrown over his chest, and Waxer’s stomach pillows his head. Boil’s head rests on Obi-Wan’s arm, and someone else is curled around his feet. Everywhere he is surrounded by the peaceful quiet of men fast asleep, of men who radiate love and contentment into the Force. 

Obi-Wan weeps silently for the Light that surrounds them.

And when he wakes again, it's the same Tomorrow. 

#title ask game #anonymous #star wars #my writing #oneshot #well #two oneshots #which one do you like more? #this was a ton of fun #gosh i love writing #especially when i give myself feels in the process lmao

[matildainmotion]

Making Waves by Sophie Lovett

Mothers Who Make’s is hosting a series of guest bloggers, to celebrate and give space for the diverse views and voices within our movement. I am delighted to introduce our first of these: please read on for the Question of the Month, as posed by home-educating mother of two, writer and activist, and MWM Hub co-ordinator for Exeter, Sophie Lovett.

Before you read this post I feel that I should apologise: in case you disagree with me, in case what I’ve written is too much, in case it offends you. But this is Mothers Who Make, and we don’t apologise here for showing up as our whole selves, so instead I will take a deep breath and begin.

This has been a tough year. A tough year after a tough decade. One which, on a personal level, has been filled with many moments of joy – but where the weight of the world has pressed ever harder on my shoulders.

We’ve never lived through a pandemic before.

It’s brought out the best in us, and the worst. It’s brought us closer together, and deepened the divisions in values and circumstance that are tearing our society apart. And it has made the priorities of our government - to put profits above people – very, very clear.

This neoliberal agenda has its roots way back in the 20th century, and over the years we have pretty much come to take it for granted. Notions of unrestrained economic growth, wealth which is available to everyone if they just work hard enough, and the promise of freedom which is earnt by playing by the rules of society - alongside a reality of gaping gaps between rich and poor both on a domestic and international level. In many ways the Coronavirus pandemic has provided precisely the kind of crisis that the neoliberal elite love: an overwhelming distraction that they can use to impose more unpopular policies, accusing people of being unpatriotic or even undemocratic if they oppose them.

Yet it has also sowed the seeds of something new. Off the back of years of campaigning from environmental and social justice organisations, many more people are beginning to realise that the future could perhaps look very different. That the planet cannot handle this unfettered capitalism for much longer – and neither, given the explosion in mental health issues even before the challenges inflicted by 2020, can we. That there might be different ways of living that could be more fulfilling for us and our children, whilst at the same time starting to reverse the destruction we have wreaked on the global ecosystem.

And this – this imagining of a different world – is making some people very uncomfortable.

In England, the government released guidance last week which told teachers not to use resources from any organisation which has advocated abolishing capitalism – even if the materials themselves did not express such a view – as it would imply support for an “extreme political stance” on a par with racism and opposition to freedom of speech. Aside from the obvious hypocrisy of a statement which alienates many anti-racism campaigners and seeks to silence the voices of those who might want to legitimately challenge the status quo, this is a sign to me that they know their power is waning. The neoliberal story is coming apart at the seams, and a new narrative is taking shape which could take things in a very different direction.

As actors in that narrative we have a choice to make about the future that we want to see. And as mothers – and especially as mother makers – we hold in our hands a huge amount of power to shape the world our children will grow up into.

It might not always feel that way.

One of the most effective strategies of neoliberal capitalism is to convince us that we are not enough. That we are deficient in a myriad of different ways, and powerless to take control. It makes us the perfect consumers – hungry for the things we can buy to improve ourselves and make life better for us and our families. And if we can’t buy them – if we are part of the huge swathe of the population struggling to even afford the basics we need to live – we are taught that it is our fault, that we’re just not trying hard enough.

In motherhood especially this can lead to a real sense of disempowerment – a lack of trust in ourselves and our ability to provide for our children. There is so much that is marketed to that desire to give our children the very best start in life: elaborate toys, sleep training programmes, gorgeous clothes, endless baby classes. It plays into the competitiveness which fuels the capitalist fire, the fear of being left behind. It sells us baby walkers (and mini trainers) to get those little people up on their feet as soon as we can, electronic learning games for toddlers in the hope that they’ll know their ABCs before they start preschool, tutors to help seven year olds pass their SATs with flying colours. It rushes us back into the workplace before we’re really ready, no matter that our salary barely pays the childcare fees. It tells us that teachers know our children better than we do, that school is the only place they can get an education, and that compliance with authority is the most important lesson they can learn.

None of this is bad in and of itself – if it works for you then that’s awesome. But if it doesn’t, if the treadmill is making you tired and you’re fed up of searching for the next best thing then stop. Breathe. And work out what it is you truly need.

Our role as mothers may be woefully undervalued by the capitalist system, but we do have the power to choose where we focus our energies, to withdraw our consent from expectations that we disagree with, to challenge the assumptions around the status of mothers (and children) in wider society.

We can choose to raise our children with principles we believe in, to communicate messages to them that deviate from those which dominate the mainstream, to be their allies and their advocates instead of colluding in their oppression.  

And, little by little, we can build a kinder, more inclusive world – one where everyone has value.

If as mothers we hold the future of the planet in each act of care we carry out for our children, as mother makers we are doubly powerful in our ability to reach beyond our inner circle and inspire through the particular capacity of art of all kinds to reshape the narrative and reimagine what is possible.

Creatives are uniquely placed to lead the revolution – and this is I believe a significant reason why the UK government shows such disdain and disregard for the arts and creative industries.  

Just as Media Studies is decried as a ‘mickey mouse’ subject because it directly exposes the techniques the government and their allies use to manipulate the opinions of the population, the Arts in schools are sidelined because they nurture exactly the kind of creativity and independent thought that can be used to challenge the status quo.

It starts in the Early Years, when days that should be dedicated to open ended play are instead filled up with increasingly formal literacy and numeracy, and can be seen right through the education system: ten year olds spending whole terms doing nothing but exam preparation, teenagers being told they can’t study the creative subjects they’d prefer because they don’t fill the right assessment bucket. And it continues in the world outside, as the government response to the impact of Covid has shown so starkly.

Our art is important. Our making is important. It holds a mirror up to the present and shows how life could be, it inspires, it sustains – and it can be an escape route from the treadmill our leaders would rather keep us tethered to.

From the stories we tell to the songs we sing to the materials we choose to the business models we adopt to share our work: we are creating the fabric of the future.

And so this month, wherever you are in your mothering and your making, I would invite you to consider these questions: What are the changes you would like to see in the world? How are you making waves in your mothering? And in your making? What changes (small or large) could you make in either to help create the future you dream of for yourself and for your children?

To read more from Sophie go to: www.raisingrevolutionaries.co.uk and https://www.instagram.com/raising_revolutionaries/

[cathkaesque]

Given that the Tories have still won a majority despite several days of trying to remove my mind from my body, I bring Discourse. Please let me know if it is nonsense/unclear because I am quite tired.

A lot of commentators have been pinning the loss of working class heartlands to the Tories on Labour’s left turn, but this is a process that was already ongoing before this. People in these areas have been promised the world by Labour MPs over and over again, who’ve then gone on to betray their trust over and over again. People are sick of technocratic politics and being told they should be grateful for the screwing over they’re about to receive from Blairite MPs and councillors. Corbyn’s leadership was the last chance to rescue the party from the fate that has fallen most other social democratic parties in Europe, but ultimately I don’t think it has. Instead, the problem lies in some of the fundamental tenets of Labour’s political approach.

Labour’s fundamental ideology is based on a redistribution of wealth towards public services and welfare mediated in parliament by a Labour government. That’s not a bad thing, but it’s an ideology that gives Labour a paternalistic and managerial edge. It is an ideology that doesn’t see working class people as subjects, but rather vulnerable victims that need public support. Labour see no agency for anyone asides from parliamentary repesentatives, who are saviours of a poor and defeated working class.

It also means that social democrats are unwilling to upset or disrupt the existing capitalist economy, but rather manage it. They wish to see a greater share of the profits of capitalism go towards ameliorating poverty and improving public services. This however means Labour’s room for maneuver is dependent on the profitability of the capitalist economy and what the system allows for. When the system does not any room for maneuver, such as council cuts mandated by central government, Labour councillors offer nothing but apologies and brutal enforcement.

They also see austerity as political choice and not an economic necessity. While this is true to an extent, it is wrong to see austerity as an ideological ploy by the Tory Party, which is different and separate from the motions of the capitalist economy. Austerity doesn’t come from capitalism, but from Tory mismanagement - if the system was managed rationally by Labour, there would be no need for this unnecessary austerity. Their plan is ultimately to rescue capitalism from itself.

Austerity is a political choice, but it’s the political choice to continue an economic system that demands austerity in times of crisis. What happens when the system goes into crisis under their management? What happens when stock market financiers spirit their money out of the country, orchestrate a run on the pound to sabotage their taxation plans? Their economic programme depends on the cooperation and continued health of British capitalism and that’s something they won’t get.

SYRIZA faced a similar dilemma. They thought that the EU’s austerity was economically irrational and that the system would relax if Yanis Varoufakis explained to them otherwise. But that wasn’t the case - revenue from Greek privatisations and debt payoffs were a major source of profit for German and French banks still reeling from the 2008 crash, and if Greece was allowed relief from austerity it would question many of the fundamentals of the European project (if Greece got relief from austerity, why shouldn’t all the other 26 memberstates who have been subject to an Excessive Debt Procedure?). When the EU said no, the only other way to end austerity would have been to crash out and completely reorganise the Greek economy, something that SYRIZA was not prepared to do, politically or practically, so they capitulated. Should Labour come to power in the middle of an economic crisis, where the leftover profits for more nurses and reversing cuts have vanished, we would probably face a SYRIZA style capitulation.

Corbyn’s leadership was a genuine opportunity to change this style of politics and I think in 2017 it was a very different kind of leadership with a large base in a vibrant anti-austerity movement. But since then the Corbyn leadership largely adopted everything that was wrong with the Labour approach to politics, namely an obsession with parliamentary games and electioneering which has lead them to take shortcuts and abandon their bases of support. The 2017 election brought them within an inch of power, and they have spent the last 2 years immersing themselves in trying to win just a few more seats to get themselves. The fruit of this opportunism has been extreme political inconsistency.

The flip flop on Brexit is the perfect example of this - Corbynites have taken these areas for granted, thinking they can win them over by promising them economic concessions, while trying to woo middle class voters in Tory constituencies through promising a second referendum. Living in a London bubble, surrounded by middle class remainers, they were completely removed from the reality in deindustrialised areas.

It was perfectly possible to put forward a left wing case for leaving the EU, and by doing so Labour would have been able to shape the kind of Brexit that took place. It could have been a debate where every aspect of the UK’s economic structure would have been up for debate. It would have deepened Labour’s radicalism, allowing it to say much more about the way our economy and society is run.  Anger which is being misdirected at migrants could have been redirected towards the system itself and the Conservative plans for Brexit could have been put under scrutiny rather than left as something vague  But that wasn’t a debate the Labour Party was ever capable of waging, and they had never cleared their party out of Blairite representatives more loyal to the management of the system than to winning an election.

When it comes to Brexit, I think it should be understood as something of an electoral riot. A lot of the areas that voted for Brexit have intentionally been left with no means of influencing politics. Industries like the mines and steelworks were destroyed precisely because the unions had the ability to bring down Tory governments in the 1970s. For a lot of the areas that voted for it, they saw it as their chance to actually have a say on something, even if that something is “economically damaging.” It was a chance to through a spanner in the works of the system. And instead of seeing that as a chance to fight that system, Labour, dependent on the success of that system for its plans for more money for the NHS and social services, saw it as a threat to their project.

I think a better way to view socialism is not as a set of policy flavours or something that a Labour government does from above, but something that has to be built from the ground up by the people themselves. Socialism doesn’t come from parliament but it comes from working class people fighting back for themselves, through the construction of community campaigns, self help and mutual aid organisations, workplace unions, tenants unions and through organisation at the base. Socialist progress is a reflection of class struggle. That is not something that Labour can ever really deliver, as any class struggle in working class constituencies would immediately come up against the Labour councillors and politicians who are responsible for and see no alternative cuts to council services.

Fundamentally we need a new kind of political party. Labour is too tied to the system, too concerned about electoral jostling, and is too patronising to deliver what socialists are after. We need a mass working class political party which is dedicated to organising working class areas, to putting forward genuine, local level alternatives to austerity and demanding that politicians fulfill them, which sees politics as way more than just winning elections and position in a parliamentary apparatus that most people see no legitimacy in. Whether Labour, even with its very large membership, could become that is doubtful. But a left split from the party, taking with it the best trade unions and members, could be a worthwhile start.

#socialism #The Labour Party #2019 election

[readyaiminquire]

Not my president? - Understanding charisma.

Note: While I’m reworking this blog’s format, I wanted first to finish a planned series of posts on charisma that I began publishing a while back. Rather than making it a series, I figured I might well play around with a long-form format instead. This post will re-hash some of the information from the earlier post, but this time I promise it will actually reach a conclusion!

With US election campaigns in full swing, and with Democrats hoping to oust Trump from the Oval Office, the question of how Trump won at all has re-emerged. After four chaotic years, no-one Blue would want another four. Despite a laundry list of failures, scandals, and broken promises, will Trump be able to galvanise enough voters – again? Though I am by no means an expert on US politics, I feel that one area that a lot of pundits and commentators have failed to consider is that of his charisma. At the end of the day, it is Trump’s charismatic leadership that allowed him to be elected in the first place - and bear with me on this! We must really begin to look and deconstruct charisma to get to the heart of it all. Make no mistake, charisma serves a fundamentally important function within any democratic system – they would not be able to operate without it. As oxymoronic as it might sound, charismatic leadership is not reserved for the despotic, but it is a process we all engage with.

Who are our charismatic leaders? We think of Gaddafi, Stalin, the Kims in North Korea, or indeed the Ayatollahs in Iran – alongside questionable undercurrents of fooling the masses, abusing one’s power, and the creeping, assured emergence of ever more oppression. Charisma’s negative political baggage, however, doesn’t really help us to understand what it functionally is. So let’s shed all judgement, positive or negative, and instead look at charisma as a process. German sociologist Max Weber succinctly defined charisma as

“a certain quality of an individual person by virtue of which he is set apart from ordinary men”

In other words, charisma is a sort-of otherworldly quality that sets you apart from the masses. Authority is derived from charismatic qualities. Unlike other forms of authority, such as legal-rational authority (which relies on some sort of legal code, such as, a constitution) or traditional power (where authority is derived from something outside of the system itself, like the divine right to rule), charismatic authority comes from the very simple fact that people want to follow you.

It’s quite evident that Weber effectively sees charisma as some innate and mystical power – some sort of magic you have that makes people want to follow you. So, let’s look at Weber’s definition from a different perspective. Let’s consider charisma as something you do, rather than something you have. Charisma must always be the result of a set of rhetorical actions intended to convince the ‘common man’ that the charismatic person is indeed not common. Through such conviction, the ‘common man’ becomes a willing follower. In his book How to do things with words, J. L. Austin outlines that there are two different kinds of rhetorical actions: referential and performative. Referential actions simply describe the world, which means that it is either right or wrong. Performative actions, on the other hand, doesn’t describe anything at all and therefore cannot be right or wrong, merely successful or unsuccessful. To shamelessly steal an example from Alexei Yurchuk:

“If one makes an oath under appropriate conditions, while internally not intending to keep it, the oath is not made any less powerful in the eyes of those who accept it as such”.

Assuming you accept the above, charisma as something performed has some broad implications in the real world. But to make sense of that, we need to look at the typical Western democratic system.

Democracy comes with an awkward promise: that all people are created equal, and that the whole system is run by the people and for the people, while at the same time requiring elected hierarchies and leaders to effectively function. In other words, democracy only works because we’re willingly giving up our sovereignty to the system – something which, in most situations, might be perceived as deeply undemocratic. This tension, obviously, needs to be resolved somehow. The relationship between the State and the leader is roughly analogous with the relationship between power and authority. The State has power, and without diving far too deep into Foucault, power is inherently relational rather than what we might classify as material. Put simply, it emerges from social structures. In the case of the State, this relational power is very clear when you consider the different experiences and interactions different people – minorities, the homeless, immigrants, the privileged, and so on – have with its representatives. They all have a very different relationship to the State as an entity (anthropologists Veena Das and Deborah Poole refer to this as the ‘centre and the peripheries’, arguing that the best place to ‘see’ the State is the border at which its power breaks down). 

In the same way, the State as an entity is also immaterial – we only interact with representatives of the State (civil servants, politicians, police officers) or we see the outcome of these representatives enforcing the power of the State upon us (laws, regulation, taxes). Authority, on the other hand, is effectively the ability to ‘direct’ power. The leader of the State relates in the same way to its structure, coming to embody the system as a whole, while the structure itself maintains the overarching power relations. 

It is commonly understood that states only ‘work’ as a concept if the people within them act as if they do, something akin to the thought experiment of ‘would war end if all soldiers refused to fight?’. The leader, as the embodiment of the whole structure, begins to play a key role in maintaining this illusion. Much work has been done on this idea of ‘two bodies’. Alexei Yurchuk wrote that this set-up is traditionally very common among kings and other monarchs – in some cases very literally, with dolls being made of the monarch upon their deaths to quite literally give them a second body. The bodies a king inhabited were their ‘individual’ body, i.e. the person itself, and the second being that of the ‘office’ of Kingship, a divine-like body. It is this second regal body, in full regalia upon their throne, surrounded by servants and gold and pomp and circumstance, who is truly the king; the individual person will always simply be the person. This process is largely the same within the modern democratic state: there is the elected individual – the person – then there is the leader (president, prime minister, etc.), the embodiment of authority. 

It is here we must return to what I wrote above about voluntarily submitting. When imagined, the idea of a leader as an embodiment of authority immediately sounds inherently un-democratic; non-democratic at best. It is this tension, alluded to previously, that charisma serves to reconcile. 

It may sound contradictory, but in these cases charisma functions to dictate how – for example – a President can behave. It is what causes world leaders to attend particular events, or why they partake in completely-natural-totally-not-staged photo-ops. It’s not necessarily because they want to, or indeed because they think it’s fooling anyone, but rather because it is what the system requires the leader to do. It is, in other words, charismatic performance. Even more importantly, it is not the individual which fulfils the requirement, but rather them in the function as President. It is their second body, so to speak, which is having their photos taken beside some national memorial. This leads us to the crux of the whole situation: returning to the issue of democracy and leadership. We the people need to willingly submit ourselves to the leader’s authority. This is often done through voting. However, to effectively convince people, the leader must not only follow a particular agenda, philosophy, or give the correct promises, but they must also follow along in the ‘dance’. They must act statesmanlike (stateswomanlike?), to fulfil what we can in practical terms call ‘the minimum amount’ of charisma needed to be considered for leadership at all. In this sense, all democratic leaders are (somewhat) charismatic, by necessity.

Nonetheless, this of course highlights that charisma isn’t binary, despite often being spoken of in terms of haves and have-nots. Instead, we should imagine charisma as a spectrum: two people can be charismatic, and one more so than the other. Indeed, it also means that charisma is individually understood, that is to say, that different people are differently charismatic to different people. Despite the initial Weberian definition, it isn’t a magic spell. It is a performance, a dance, which functions as a safety-vale in Western political systems, a means to reconcile what is seemingly a fundamental contradiction. 

This, of course, has very real-world implications. Let’s turn to an example. A rather thinly veiled metaphor, if you will, but such a reduction of an (obvious) example can help give some grounding – while playing with some nuance. You have Mr Red and Ms Blue, two presidential candidates in a totally hypothetical country. Ms Blue is a well-established politician, with a strong pedigree of various political posts. She’s experienced, educated, well-spoken, intelligent, and internationally respected. Mr Red, a newcomer on the stage, has no background in politics. He is radically outspoken, blunt even, criticised for his lack of experience, his limited rhetoric. His background is as a somewhat successful businessman, a stereotype he fully embraces. He’s divisive, to say the least. I’m sure you’re seeing where I’m going with this.

Within this completely hypothetical country, you have a traditionally large working class, which used to be strong in the past but has since declined as production jobs moved overseas. The perception among this group is that they have been abandoned by the powers that be – abandoned for several generations. They feel they’ve been systematically shut out of politics, unable to make themselves heard (lack of education, money, and so on), while the politicians – across the board – have continued toeing the same line. The established body politic, like Ms Blue, doesn’t much represent, let alone understand, them. Stage right: Enter Mr Red, down a gilded escalator. His rhetoric is outrageous, his promises ridiculous, his beliefs morally bankrupt. No-one believes what he says, not really. But it doesn’t matter. Mr Red wins anyway. He wins every time. Why? Because he dances to the tune of these otherwise marginalised voters. He speaks to them, makes promises for them, and whether he intends to keep these promises or not, or indeed whether he is expected to keep them, is irrelevant. At this stage, it was no longer about his promises but rather because he acted to this otherwise downtrodden group as the State, the leader, is expected to act: he listened to their issues, spoke to them directly, in a language they could connect with, made them a part of his wider political discourse, stepped out of the ivory tower, extended his hand as a candidate for the Presidency. He at this stage fulfilled the minimum amount of necessary charisma to even be considered as someone to follow. To counterweight this, Ms Blue maintained her distance and stance, equating herself with previous ‘establishment’ politicians, and as a result became unelectable: not because of having a worse programme, or lack of political merit, but rather because she became someone impossible for these voters to follow at all. She could not have been voted for, because she didn’t dance at all.

Charisma, though a funny thing, something we’ve all heard of and often instinctively see and understand, operates in not only a perhaps more complex way when dissected, but also with much more material force. In a sense, society as we know it requires a particular ebb and flow of charisma. But even then, it is not as random or magical as often believed; instead, it is simply the result of certain actions, of convincing people that you are indeed charismatic. Weber throughout most of his career maintained that charisma cannot be learned, that it was something you were born with, though he might have changed his mind on this, as an unfinished paper (sadly only a collection of notes) showed that he intended to write a paper on learning charisma after all. This isn’t the topic here, though, but rather to understand charisma as a social performance, a dance, which lies at the heart of the Western political system and discourse. It is a force rarely considered, not often analysed, and if even invoked, done more so to paint a mystical picture of the person in question. 

The funny thing, of course, is that all leaders are charismatic, and necessarily so. Some do it better than others, of course, but without it democracy as we know it wouldn’t be able to function. Without charisma, we would all simply vote for ourselves. 

 Selected bibliography / recommended reading:

Austin, J. L. 1955. How to do things with Words (J. O. Urmson & M. Sbisàeds ). Oxford University Press. 

Das, V. & Poole, D. (eds.) 2004 'Anthropology in the Margins of the State' Santa Fe: Scool of American Research Press; Oxford: James Currey Ltd. 

Hansen, T. & Stepputat, F. 2006 'Sovereignty revisited' Annual Review of Anthropology, vol. 35 

Weber, M. 1946 [1919] 'Politics as a vocation'. In Gerth, H.H. and Wright Mills, C. (trans. & eds.) Max Weber: Essays in Sociology pp. 77-128. New York: Oxford University Press

Yurchak, A. 2003 ‘The Soviet hegemony of form’ in ‘Everything was forever, until it was no more’ Comparative Studies in Society and History 45(3): 480-510

Yurchak, A. 2015 'Bodies of Lenin' in Representations vol. 2(2015) pp.116-157 215

#anthropology #charisma #leadership #essay #ethnography #argument #politics #weber #election #the state #government #performance #social and cultural anthropology #SocAnth #sociocultural #sociology

[fandomforsiken-blog]

Guidelines and FAQs

General

What is Fandom for Siken?

Fandom for Siken is an online charity auction aiming to raise funds to support poet Richard Siken as he recovers from a stroke he suffered on March 15th, 2019. You can read more about us at our About page.

What is the Richard Siken Stroke Recovery Fund?

The Richard Siken Stroke Recovery Fund is a Gofundme campaign run by friends of Richard, geared toward providing him with financial assistance over the course of his convalescence. It’s administered primarily by the editors at Copper Canyon Press, with whom we are in contact, and who have been gracious and welcoming of the project since its inception. All transactions through the Gofundme are conducted in USD.

When can I sign up to participate as a creator? When can I start bidding?

You can view the full calendar for the auction here.

Do all works created under the auction have to be Siken-related (e.g. directly based on or inspired by Siken poems)?

Not necessarily, as it’s important to us that the bidders and creators alike have as much creative freedom as we can manage. Hence, the incorporation of any nods to Siken big or small are the prerogative of the bidder, and/or of the creator in line with the bidder’s prompt/s.

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Questions for Creators

Where do I sign up to participate as a creator?

Thank you for your interest! The signup form for creators is here.

What types of fanwork can I offer?

Fandom for Siken is open to offers of both fanfic and fanart. Participating creators may sign up exclusively as writers, exclusively as artists, or make separate offers for fic and art if they’d like to do both.

What are your parameters for the fanworks on auction? Can I make multiple offers?

For creators, we’ve decided on three options for contribution

- OPTION A: 1-3 small pieces OR - OPTION B: 1 big piece OR - OPTION C: 1 small piece AND 1 big piece

where small and big pieces are defined as follows

- Small pieces: a simple illustration, clean and fully coloured (for artists), a work that ranges between 1,000-5,000 words (for writers) - Big pieces: a more complex and detailed illustration or a comic up to 7 pages (for artists), a work that is upwards of 5,000 words (for writers) Upon signup, you will be asked to choose an option to create for, and if you choose option A, how many pieces you are willing to offer. Bids will be set per piece—i.e. depending on their chosen option, a creator may be working on requests from 1-3 bidders over the course of the auction.

As mentioned above, you may sign up as an artist, as a writer, or as both if you are so inclined. In the case of the latter, please fill in the form once for writing and then again separately for art.

Given all the above, please do be mindful of how many offerings you can actually fulfill within the given timeframe, taking into consideration any other commitments you may have. We’d like for everyone to be able to complete the work they promise without overextending themselves in the process, so please do promise something that will be manageable for you. It’s totally okay, for example, to offer only one small piece—every little bit helps.

If I have a current work-in-progress that is similar to the bidder’s prompt, or if I’m planning to create a similar work for another challenge (e.g. big bangs, ship weeks, etc.), can I also use this work for the auction?

Unless your bidder explicitly agrees to this, then no, the work you produce must be an entirely new fanwork created exclusively for the purposes of this auction. This is to ensure, as much as possible, that your bidder’s wishes for the work are prioritized and executed in a timely fashion.

How many fandoms can I offer to create for? Can I make other specifications?

Upon signup, you will be asked to list a maximum of 5 fandoms you are willing to create for. This is less a hard limit than a guideline, in order to make it easier for prospective bidders to find your offer and get a clear sense of what you are definitely willing to create for.

You will also be asked to list things you are not willing to draw/write (e.g. NSFW, graphic violence, ships and/or tropes you aren’t comfortable with, detailed armor/mecha/animals for art, etc.).

Provided you are amenable to it, your bidder has the option to ask you to create a piece for a fandom that is not part of your listed fandoms, e.g. if they know you and are aware that you have created work for this fandom before. Your Will-Not-Writes/Draws, however, are non-negotiable and must be respected by all bidders.

In the event that you’d like to set out additional specifications (e.g. preferred characters, ships, tropes, etc.), you’ll be welcome to do so after the initial signup, when we contact you to confirm your participation and the terms of your offer.

What do I do if I have to drop out?

We will be confirming the participation of all creators during the first week of July; please inform us then if you’d like to withdraw your initial signup. Once the bidding period opens, we’ll assume all creators are committed to the project barring any unforeseen circumstances that might arise. In the event of the latter, please do communicate your need to drop out to us so we can cover for you accordingly.

Please understand that, as this auction is being conducted for charity, we're doing our best to ensure all participants will be able to deliver on what they’ve offered, and to minimize the possibility of dropouts. In line with this, please only sign up for the project if you're confident you can commit to it alongside other responsibilities you might have (including and especially those to yourself and your own well-being), particularly during the creation period.

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Questions for Bidders

How do I bid?

Tentatively we’ll be running all bids through a Google form, which will be circulated as soon as the auction opens. We’re testing that out right now and will confirm the bidding method ASAP.

How do I donate my winning bid?

Please donate your exact bid amount to the Richard Siken Stroke Recovery Fund, as this is the most straightforward way to ensure it goes directly to Richard and his most immediate representatives.

How do I provide proof of my donation?

You may email us either 1) a screenshot, or 2) a copy of your receipt. In turn, we will give your creator the go-signal to start working on your requested piece.

Are there any specifications or limitations for what I can request?

Once you win your auction, we will send you a form to fill out in which you’ll be asked to detail your request (e.g. fandom, featured character/s, any other specifications of trope or genre, etc.). You may be as general or as specific as you like, though it always helps to give your creator as clear an idea as possible of what you’re looking for.

You will also be asked to indicate your Do-Not-Wants (e.g. NSFW, graphic violence, ships and/or tropes you aren’t comfortable etc.). These are non-negotiable and must be respected by your creator.

In writing out your request, please do take into consideration the five listed fandoms your creator will have said they are definitely willing to make work for, as well as their list of Will-Not-Writes/Draws. You may elect to ask them for a fandom outside of this list, e.g. if you know them and are aware that they have created work for this fandom before, but it’s ultimately the creator’s call whether or not they’re willing to fill a request outside of their fandom list. However, the creator’s Will-Not-Writes/Draws are non-negotiable and must be respected by all bidders.

My creator has dropped out of the auction/is MIA or otherwise unable to fulfill my request. What do we do from here?

We’ll do our best to make sure this doesn’t happen, but in the event that things really can’t be helped, we will find you a willing pinch hitter from within our participating pool of creators. Please rest assured that, once your donation is made, we’re committed to making sure to the best of our ability that you get the gift you asked for, even in the event of unforeseen circumstances.

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Miscellaneous Questions

Will winning bidders and creators be corresponding directly over the course of the creation process?

We’ll be providing winning bidders with their creators’ emails after all bids are finalized, and vice versa. Winning bidders and creators may then correspond directly if they wish (e.g. to hash out the particulars of the bidder’s request, to provide updates, etc.). We only ask that you cc us in your emails for transparency purposes, so we can keep abreast of how you’re doing and help mediate as necessary should any concerns arise.

Is selling fanworks in this manner legal?

The legality of selling fanwork is a big grey area, basically; in short it depends on the nature of the work being sold and the details of the transaction. However, as this is a charity auction, we won’t be selling fanworks per se—instead, we’re asking people to donate directly to the attached cause, and our creators promise to create a gift work as a thank-you for this donation. Neither the creators nor the moderators will receive—or even handle—any of the money pledged over the course of the auction.

Who are the people behind Fandom for Siken?

We come from a variety of fandoms and backgrounds, from books to bandom to games and various animanga. Sometimes we pretend to be a rap crew. A little more about each of us below:

May writes about boy bands and friends who do musical theatre by day, and writes fic about boy bands and friends who do musical theatre by night. (Hashtag brand consistency!) Currently she is trying to write a cute quiet slow burn fic without having a conniption, and also she is very upset at Jordan Fisher for looking Like That.

Ewa is an occasional writer, artist, and fountain of strange, esoteric knowledge who is constantly tripping into new fandom hellholes. Has all of two (2) feelings, both of which are very fragile, occasionally moonlights as a police officer but is generally a very tired person.

Meg likes to write, to bike, and to do crimes (not necessarily in that order). She has a finger in every pie, but her primary fandoms as of this writing are Hypnosis Mic, Fire Emblem, and Kazetsuyo/Run with the Wind. Her tarot card is the Queen of Swords.

How do we contact you?

Our primary channel of communication is email ([email protected]) as it’s the most streamlined way to keep track of correspondence. Please rest assured that we check it regularly and we’ll do our best to answer you in a timely manner.

You can also reach us through Twitter or our Tumblr askbox.

#fandomforsiken #richard siken

[diguerra-moved]

@lady-shadestrider // did you say feels

The letter isn’t new. The paper begins to show signs of age, dusty upon her fingertips; the lack of marks upon it speaks of it being carefully stored nonetheless, if near forgotten. Its deliverer certainly seemed surprised the day had come to pass when it had finally reached the intended receiver’s hands (a wonder that he had even held on to it for this much time). Rellinth’s friend doesn’t speak much to her beyond what he has to; he doesn’t know what it is about, only that he had been asked to deliver it to her should she ever return, and so he means to fulfill the years old promise made to his friend.

She doesn’t read it immediately. If out of pure avoidance or because somehow Alleria deems it too important not to devote a moment solely to it, she is uncertain. Azeroth has more ghosts to her than she had expected to find; and more poorly resolved feelings, too. She had fallen for Rellinth more easily than she had ever fallen in love, before or after --- with Turalyon, it had been slow and careful and full of hesitation, her walls lowered only through his persistence and dedication; but with Rellinth she had taken a willing leap, and it had never seemed to her difficult until they begun to fall apart. Fond of him as she was, Alleria despised feeling trapped; and the more he had made her feel her freedom was being taken from her, the more he had pushed her away, until she could stay no longer.

Ideally, she would have been in Quel’thalas, hidden amidst Eversong’s trees where she knew no one would have disturbed her, and only then she would have opened the envelope and begun her readying. Ideally, she wouldn’t have to be away from Quel’thalas at all, though, and Alleria had long learned life was anything but ideal. Elwynn is not Eversong, but it is what she has now, and the ranger is more comfortable amidst the green trees than she ever feels in Stormwind’s stone streets, crowded with foreign faces that too often looked at her with reverence she did not deserve. It doesn’t bother her that sunlight will be over soon; it’s just a letter, she tells herself, and she’ll go home before Arator and Turalyon begin to worry about her absence. 

Besides, Alleria has long since grown well acquainted with darkness.

Alleria,

We leave for Northrend on the morrow. The Prince seems confident in our ability to strike back against the Butcher, though I find myself unsure. A man who could wrought so much ruin across our homeland does not seem an easy foe to slay.

Fingers open the letter slowly and ever delicately, all due care not to damage it in any way. The Fall of Silvermoon is a tale she’s heard with great amount of detail, but not nearly as much was said of the other pieces of history she had missed, tragedies and important events only summarized enough for her to understand the current situation of her land and people. Even a detailed account, however, would only allow for her to imagine those past events; and imagine was all she could do even now, wondering how he must have felt, having witnessed their homeland destroyed and losing his entire family. Following Kael’thas to Northrend would not have seemed so terrible a thing to do. Briefly, she muses if he had come to regret it later; if own experience served for anything, Alleria knew that no decision she had done in grief and anger and desperation had been free of later regrets.

I don’t know why I’m writing to you. I know you have been missing in the Beyond for years now, but I suppose my heart wanders back to you when faced with such rot and ruin. I have missed you greatly. Not only as what we once were, but just as a friend. 

That he wrote to her uncertain if she even lived makes her wonder how much the words were indeed meant for her to read, and how much of it was simply coming to terms with their history by himself. Closure, in a way, from someone who had lost enough to be hopeless towards past possibilities of happiness that would never come to be. Regardless, Alleria finds she is glad that he still deemed her worthy to read him in a state so raw; perhaps she shouldn’t, but it does not change how she feels.

She finds that she would have preferred to have been there and listen to the words being said, too.

I pray you still live - or at least you have found peace in whatever end befell you. Perhaps it was more kind than your sister’s.

There had never been any peace for her in her path beyond the stars, not more than she had found it upon returning to Azeroth; fate had been kinder to her than it had been to Sylvanas, however. In a morbid way, there is amusement to be found in that at least in regards to that his prayers had been heard. Perhaps the Light wasn’t as deaf as it seemed to like to make itself to be (perhaps she tries to find amusement in such a twisted way because thinking of her sister’s fate hurts too much). That he remained strong in his faith at all is what catches her attention the most, not because it is surprising per say, but because she can scarcely comprehend it. Alleria had never been one of immovable trust in higher powers, but had she ever been, the Light’s failure in a time of such dire need would certainly have been enough for her to set it aside completely.

It sounds like him, though, and she takes comfort in the feeling of familiarity.

I leave this letter with a friend in the foolish hope that should you return, perhaps it will find you hands. I have no intention of surviving our campaign. My mother is dead, our home is in ruins, and my sister is missing. In a sick way, I even lament my father’s death as well. There is nothing left for me beyond the Light, and so I will greet it on the battlefield willingly. I only wish you to know, despite our flaws, you were a blessing upon me. Your gentle way soothed aches that burdened me for decades, and the memory of it soothes my fears now. I love you now as I loved you then, and I have made peace with the fact I do not mean as much to you as you do to me.

All comfort quickly fades as shimmering blue eyes continue to scan his handwriting upon the paper. Those are just words, and old ones too; no matter how much she insists on believing so, they hit too close to her heart for her to be unaffected (and hurt reflected clearly on her gaze and eyebrows immediately pressed together in a frown and the lump in her throat all make her most glad to have chosen to be alone and away from everyone else when reading this).  

It is too familiar, what he speaks of; the sense of loss, the grief, the lack of purpose to move on. The desire to die, if not to end own life directly, resounds with her too deeply --- Alleria had been the one in that place before, overwhelmed by vengeance and guilt. And I still had my sisters. I still had Arator. I still had Quel’thalas; how much worse was it for him, who thought to have nothing and no one? The death she sought in throwing herself in battle after battle against the orcs would have found her in Draenor, if not for the friends who sought to aid her no matter how much she had pushed them away. It wasn’t something she wished anyone else to experience, that bottomless abyss, and most certainly it was something that ached to see echoed in someone she had loved so. 

In the crepuscular darkness of Elwynn forest, she sheds tears no one else will know of.

No matter what happened to them, she had loved him ---  no matter their incompatibilities, Alleria had never wished him ill. For reasons she cannot comprehend neither feels compelled to think about, there is a sense of guilt towards his next words. Their relationship fell apart for a reason, she remembered well even now, and she had fallen in love with someone else millennia ago... yet it felt wrong that he would have continued to love her, that his feelings ran deeper than her own. 

She didn’t deserve it. And he, too, deserved more; to be loved by someone who would love him just as strongly, someone who would be more understanding, someone who wouldn’t turn to avoidance and distance before ever trying to address their problems properly. He deserved to have found someone else to give his love to; someone who would be worthy of it. If she had ever been deserving of it, Alleria was certain she had ceased to be long ago (somewhere in her heart, there’s a peculiar sort of bittersweet relief: that in the least they had not met again, and he would not be one more person she would have disappointed, instead preserved in his memory as something she no longer was). 

If you still live, if this letter ever reaches your hands, I wish you well with your human paladin. He is a good man, one of the best of our order, and I know he would treat you with kindness as I would. 

Alleria pushes herself to continue, in spite of heartache that settles within her chest; loosens her grip on the paper’s edges, now slightly crumpled (she had not noticed how strongly she had come to hold it until then). It makes her think of Turalyon, not as he is now, but as he had been then, when they fought together in the war and stepped through the Dark Portal to Draenor. He had already been a promising member of his order then, and he had certainly been good and kind and not nearly as roughened up by war as he now was. Lothar’s death had taken its tool on him, hardened him somewhat; it had not been the last thing to do so, however, and if Alleria acknowledged she was no longer the same she was when they met, neither was he. 

Indeed, Turalyon had treated her with kindness then; he treated her with kindness now, though enough had happened to make her wary all the same. It is only wishful thinking, the sort of thought your mind creates to trick you into looking towards the past more fondly than you ought to, perhaps, but part of her whispers that Rellinth, paladin though he may also have been, would not have mistreated her because the Light commanded so. Turalyon never laid a hand on her, but he needed not to have hurt her all the same; had he disagreed with what the Naaru intended to do with her, he would have voiced his opinion in the least. Instead, he had quietly acquiesced, docile as he would not be upon watching Illidan destroy Xe’Ra. He had no more condition to defeat Illidan alone than he would have had Xe’Ra; yet one of them he fought, and the other he dedicated himself to completely.

Even when it hurt her.

There is no point in comparing them. Wondering what could have been did not change what it was; in the end, wishful thinking would do more harm than good, regardless. She couldn’t even be certain it would have been different, truth be told --- best to not wonder about it at all, and to leave those matters to rest. Alleria forces herself to let go of it, though doubt is a sly thing and wounded hearts are fertile ground for regret to fester. As if her own feelings would not be enough, she can feel the shift in the whispers that speak to her --- they have always been most fervent in their disliking towards Turalyon, but they were clever, and had learned soon enough that whisper for her to see him as an enemy would not do. First they had framed their suggestions as act of mercy, a way to free him of the terrible corruption of the Light; now they nurtured her resent, played with her regret, ensured her that if another would have loved her better, than he wasn’t worthy of her after all.

Her ears twitch, and she frowns in concentration, eyes briefly closed. It is only with great cost that she shuts them off, stops to listen. The whispers are still there, soft and tempting, but Alleria does not recognize their words, too distant for her to truly hear. The letter is nearly over, she notices before truly continuing her reading; best to end it at once.

I pray you find peace with him, and know I hold no regrets for the time you and I shared, nor how short it was cut by my own folly.

Shoulder your burdens well, Lady Sun, and may the Light ever shine on your path.

Rellinth Shadestrider

She is Lady Sun no longer, and there is no more Light shining in her path. But even as she finally stands, long after having finished reading, steps quiet and slow as they walk towards those who are certain to be waiting for her, the letter neatly folded and kept instead of set aside or thrown away, Alleria knows that change as she may have, she does not regret what they had shared either; only how it ended. 

Perhaps in a different life fate would be kinder to them both.

#since you demanded you get an actual drabble #i hope you like it <3 #* muse: alleria windrunner / void touched. #* in character: alleria windrunner / a sun no longer. #* dynamics: alleria windrunner & rellinth shadestrider / MANY TIMES WE WERE TRAGIC; BUT MANY TIMES WE WERE HAPPY TOO. [ SHADESTRIDERS ] #hi i like making tags for people aifnjsaknf #i was going to use your rp blog in it but it didn't fit so :v #long post cw

[cindylouwho-2]

RECENT NEWS, RESOURCES & STUDIES, May 2019

Welcome to my latest summary of recent news, resources & studies including search, analytics, content marketing, social media & ecommerce! This covers articles I came across from May 3 to May 30, although some may be older than that. 

I am out of town June 10-16, so I cannot predict when the next edition will come out, but I will do my best to make it before the June trip. I’ve recently narrowed my reading list so that I can get through it more quickly and post these more often. If you have any suggestions or comments, please let me know! 

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES 

If you had your entire promoted listing budget eaten up by clicks on an item with “shoe” in the searchable keywords, contact Etsy to make sure you will be refunded. 

Etsy was accidentally suspending some shops for not using Etsy Payments, but they are in ineligible countries. Some but not all drop ship or use fulfillment in countries with Etsy Payments, but that doesn’t appear to explain all the errors. 

Mailchimp launches a new marketing platform that integrates multiple marketing needs, not just emails. Pricing will stay the same for existing customers for the time being. 

On the same topic, here is a study of various email services, and their different deliver-ability rates. 

Etsy is being sued after a child dies, strangled by an amber necklace bought on Etsy. [video & article] This is getting a fair amount of media attention. Not covered in many stories is the fact that the daycare employees didn’t call 911 at first, and the day home had more infants that day than they were licensed for.  

Better media attention: disappointed in the long delay for the introduction of the Harriet Tubman $20 bill in the US, an Etsy seller designed a stamp buyers can use to cover up Jackson’s face with Tubman’s. “Harriet Tubman” is a trending search on Etsy frequently since these articles, so this media coverage is really bringing traffic to the site.

Amazon is now using packing machines in a few of its warehouses that replace 12 workers each. They have other warehouse automation, too, & just started work on their hub at the Cincinnati airport. If you need any more evidence that diversification is the key to successful businesses, remember that they make the biggest chunk of their profit on their cloud services. 

ETSY NEWS 

This year, Etsy’s Maker Cities program (US only) has joined up with Mastercard for their grants. Applications are due July 3, and there is a webinar on June 3 with more info and instructions. [links in article]

They’s also extended their Design Awards submission deadline to June 4. Check out their FAQ if you have any questions.  

Etsy released a summer update to their spring/summer trends guide, with some useful search data. Clothing shoppers are interested in vintage styles, “with Etsy searches for “70s” and “90s” up 26% and 7% year over year.” I summarized the earlier report here.

In case you missed it, Etsy released their first quarter financial report for 2019, & I summarized it in the Etsy forum. 

In related news, Etsy ranks 3rd in USA Today's list of the top 20 fastest growing retailers in the world, even ahead of Amazon.

Some businesses are competing based on delivery speed, but Etsy is able to do well with much slower shipping. (That’s a nice feature in an article they didn’t write; not all good promotion is paid.)

I can’t remember if I posted this interview with Etsy chief financial officer Rachel Glaser before, so here it is again. [audio file/podcast and short text excerpt. Please note I have contacted Etsy about the photos & search comment, but they have not yet replied, other than with the usual links to Etsy’s search guide.] 

Short piece on Etsy’s approach to diversity. Spoiler alert - they like it, and the article links to other materials demonstrating why this is the best approach for businesses.  

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES 

If you want to get your website or blog material ranking faster, Moz has some tips for you. Note that the first part in particular contains advanced-level technical tips, but most of the rest is easier to grasp for non-techies. It’s worth a skim! 

But don’t break Wikipedia rules to get your images on top - North Face got caught doing that, & had to apologize. But “[f]rom Leo Burnett Tailor Made's original statement, it seems the agency was anticipating such a reaction to the North Face effort all along. In stunts like these, the ensuing controversy and attention around it can be part of the overall campaign goal and strategy.”

Once your website starts getting Google traffic, it is not unusual for growth to start to slow or even stop completely, but there are things you can do to avoid that.

Despite many people insisting that longer blog posts are necessary for good Google ranking, there is no ideal length for a blog post. 

Here’s a good list of free SEO tools; note that some are paid tools that have a limited free version. 

Links on other high-quality websites still matter to Google. (Most of us won’t be able to do the link-building that this test did, but the test demonstrates how much the links are worth. So if you aren’t ranking, realize that other people linking to your page is probably a big factor.) Some of your pages might fit perfectly on a resource page/site, if they answer a question or uniquely fill a need. You can find link opportunities on Twitter through following certain hashtags and engaging with the users. 

Google search results now include podcasts. “This feature doesn’t only search for the title or meta data of the podcasts but also can search for the audio – as Google transcribes them — directly within the podcast show itself.”

As of July 1, Google will use the mobile version of all new websites for their index, so make sure that you have a good mobile set up on any new websites (or old ones, for that matter, since most web traffic is mobile these days). 

There was a possible Google search update around May 9, then May 22, and now maybe May 29th. Google updates its algorithm a lot, if you hadn’t already noticed.  "To give you a sense of the scale of the changes that Google considers, in 2010 we conducted 13,311 precision evaluations to see whether proposed algorithm changes improved the quality of its search results, 8,157 side-by-side experiments where it presented two sets of search results to a panel of human testers and had the evaluators rank which set of results was better, and 2,800 click evaluations to see how a small sample of real-life Google users responded to the change.” (and some people think Etsy tests a lot LOL)

CONTENT MARKETING & SOCIAL MEDIA (includes blogging & emails) 

Have popular content on one platform/site? You can repurpose it to use elsewhere, for maximum reach. It’s less work than coming up with brand new ideas all of the time! 

Micro-influencers may work best for most businesses, because they can speak directly to your target market. 

There are proven ways to get more social media followers; it’s not just luck. 

Up-to-date infographic on the ideal sizes for social media images, by platform. 

Facebook announced several upcoming plans at their annual developer conference, including a desktop redesign. Facebook has also changed the video algorithm to favour posts that people watch for longer, and to disfavour posts that are just repurposing old video. 

Tweetdeck is rolling out more updates, including emojis and the ability to set up polls within the app. I use it, & I like it - I wish they had a phone app! 

If you are using LinkedIn, you may be missing some great tricks to get more attention. 

ONLINE ADVERTISING (SEARCH ENGINES, SOCIAL MEDIA, & OTHERS) 

Here’s how you can get better results out of Microsoft ads (formerly Bing ads) 

There was a bug in Google ads stats for April 30 & May 1st; they are working on fixing it. 

Google advertising can be very confusing, so here as some tips on mistakes you should avoid. [video with transcript] They also recently announced some upcoming changes.

Etsy shops can only buy their own Google Shopping ads through Etsy’s program, or you can let Etsy buy them for your shop, but if you want to advertise your website, here is a great starter guide.

Chrome is giving you more control over cookies so that you can avoid more targeted ads. Some point out this is not necessarily as user-friendly as it sounds - it means Google can stop other companies from tracking their ad performance while Google has all those records through Chrome & other tools.  

Facebook is also giving users more control over tracking for ads, & advertisers are not happy. 

STATS, DATA, OTHER TRACKING 

You are going to be surprised that Russian search engine Yandex has a really good Webmaster tools package.

ECOMMERCE NEWS, IDEAS, TRENDS 

Some people are comparing Walmart’s new online wedding shop to Etsy, "with tons of personalized wedding gifts to buy on a budget.”

The coverage of Amazon’s big announcement about one-day shipping with Prime (in the US) mostly missed the fact that Amazon can already deliver to 72% of the US population in one day. 

Amazon employees told some third-party sellers that religious items were banned from the site - but it wasn’t true. 

Big Commerce now has a plug-in for Wordpress blogs. 

As promised, Zibbet has added Etsy to its integrations, which allows you to list on Zibbet and it will automatically be added to Etsy as well. This is only going to be useful once they add other platforms (since Zibbet has no traffic), so shop around if you are interested in this sort of tool, as other companies are doing the same things. Indiemade websites completely integrate with Etsy, for example, and they have more website tools. 

BUSINESS & CONSUMER STUDIES, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE 

With increased discussion of free shipping on Etsy recently, this is a good time to review some of the more recent studies & surveys on the topic.  One US report from January shows that buyer expectations in this area continue to increase. Shipping cost is a big factor in purchase decisions, & shipping costs are a common reason for cart abandonment. There are a variety of ways to calculate how to offer free shipping without losing money. (Thank you to Rebecca for the last link!)

If you want more shares on social media, this study on the top 5 reasons people share things online will be useful. But Americans are now more engaged by mobile games than social media, which has implications for app development and advertising. 

Googly eyes make people donate more.

Smaller online businesses tend to make very specific types of customer service mistakes that harm your ability to compete. Although there isn’t always much you can do about the fact that “37% of customers expect a response within an hour“.

Can everyone read and understand your web page? Easy-to-understand English is an important aspect of accessibility. 

Help Scout produces some fabulous material on customer service; here is a great article on value propositions, with examples, and another on how to collect customer feedback, including analyzing your stats package to see where customers are having trouble with your site. 

MISCELLANEOUS (including humour)

Trend alert: more professional women switching purses for backpacks. 

You can now control how long Google retains data on you. 

You can also join the class action against major US telecom companies that sold your location data. 

Another example of a company getting people to post photos so it can develop facial recognition technology. 

Some businesses are offering products & services based on your DNA & other biological markers. 

Most people worldwide over the age of 15 have a cell phone, although not all are regular users. 

If you are concerned about internet privacy, & hate tracking, the browser Brave may be worth a look. (I haven’t tried it yet, but it comes well-recommended from various tech people I respect.)

Burger King has trolled McDonald's in ads & social media posts for years, & it can be pretty funny. “When McDonald’s abruptly and surprisingly lost its trademark on “Big Mac” in the EU earlier this year, Burger King couldn’t help but rub some salt in the wound. BK’s Swedish operations decided to celebrate for a day by offering a menu of “Not Big Macs” such as “The Like a Big Mac, But Actually Big” and “The Big Mac-ish But Flame-Grilled of Course.”

#seo #search engine optimization #search engine marketing #etsynews #analytics #stats #social media #contentmarketing #ecommerce #smallbiz #cindylouwho2newsupdates

[micahdawolf]

This is Tumblr going? And has Facebook already gone?

" Can you see this stuff? This is actually going to take away about 70% of the artists  I follow on Tumblr. Because when they say they are banning content, its not just obvious stuff like porn. Its any content they deem "too mature" wont be allowed. This is because the app store decided that tumblr is too risque to be allowed and banned them from the app store. Tumblr is desperate to keep their download rate, so they are going too extremes that will cause far more people to leave tumblr than they realize. I've been on Tumblr for five or six years, and I feel like I need to move content else ware. - Furthermore, I like what  Facebook looks like more and more. I am thinking about leaving it as well, and then finding another service where I can make multiple accounts that are mostly like Tumblr's feed, but with Facebook's storage abilities, but not as many adds or political ads and such. Instagram has been one suggestion made to me, but I am open to hear of any others. I need to make a list of my current contacts so if anyone who follows me or wants me to keep following them, needs to PM me any other messaging services they would like to have me on, that way I can make the best judgment on which accounts I should migrate too. ~  seyz me ---------------------------------------------------------A better, more positive TumblrSince its founding in 2007, Tumblr has always been a place for wide open, creative self-expression at the heart of community and culture. To borrow from our founder David Karp, we’re proud to have inspired a generation of artists, writers, creators, curators, and crusaders to redefine our culture and to help empower individuality. Over the past several months, and inspired by our storied past, we’ve given serious thought to who we want to be to our community moving forward and have been hard at work laying the foundation for a better Tumblr. We’ve realized that in order to continue to fulfill our promise and place in culture, especially as it evolves, we must change. Some of that change began with fostering more constructive dialogue among our community members. Today, we’re taking another step by no longer allowing adult content, including explicit sexual content and nudity (with some exceptions).   Let’s first be unequivocal about something that should not be confused with today’s policy change: posting anything that is harmful to minors, including child pornography, is abhorrent and has no place in our community. We’ve always had and always will have a zero tolerance policy for this type of content. To this end, we continuously invest in the enforcement of this policy, including industry-standard machine monitoring, a growing team of human moderators, and user tools that make it easy to report abuse. We also closely partner with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and the Internet Watch Foundation, two invaluable organizations at the forefront of protecting our children from abuse, and through these partnerships we report violations of this policy to law enforcement authorities. We can never prevent all bad actors from attempting to abuse our platform, but we make it our highest priority to keep the community as safe as possible. So what is changing?Posts that contain adult content will no longer be allowed on Tumblr, and we’ve updated our Community Guidelines to reflect this policy change. We recognize Tumblr is also a place to speak freely about topics like art, sex positivity, your relationships, your sexuality, and your personal journey. We want to make sure that we continue to foster this type of diversity of expression in the community, so our new policy strives to strike a balance. Why are we doing this?It is our continued, humble aspiration that Tumblr be a safe place for creative expression, self-discovery, and a deep sense of community. As Tumblr continues to grow and evolve, and our understanding of our impact on our world becomes clearer, we have a responsibility to consider that impact across different age groups, demographics, cultures, and mindsets. We spent considerable time weighing the pros and cons of expression in the community that includes adult content. In doing so, it became clear that without this content we have the opportunity to create a place where more people feel comfortable expressing themselves. Bottom line: There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content. We will leave it to them and focus our efforts on creating the most welcoming environment possible for our community. So what’s next?Starting December 17, 2018, we will begin enforcing this new policy. Community members with content that is no longer permitted on Tumblr will get a heads up from us in advance and steps they can take to appeal or preserve their content outside the community if they so choose. All changes won’t happen overnight as something of this complexity takes time. Another thing, filtering this type of content versus say, a political protest with nudity or the statue of David, is not simple at scale. We’re relying on automated tools to identify adult content and humans to help train and keep our systems in check. We know there will be mistakes, but we’ve done our best to create and enforce a policy that acknowledges the breadth of expression we see in the community. Most importantly, we’re going to be as transparent as possible with you about the decisions we’re making and resources available to you, including more detailed information, product enhancements, and more content moderators to interface directly with the community and content. Like you, we love Tumblr and what it’s come to mean for millions of people around the world. Our actions are out of love and hope for our community. We won’t always get this right, especially in the beginning, but we are determined to make your experience a positive one. Jeff D’OnofrioCEO #news180,383 notesKeeping our promise to be transparent about state-sponsored disinformation campaignsHey Tumblr, This past March, we made you aware of steps we took to take down an Internet Research Agency (IRA) disinformation campaign operating on Tumblr in the lead up to the 2016 U.S. elections. The IRA is a Russian state-sponsored group that attempts to influence global political sentiment using Tumblr and other platforms. Our efforts helped indict 13 people who worked for the IRA. We said at the time that we would be on the lookout for additional evidence of fake Tumblr accounts affiliated with state-sponsored disinformation campaigns. In the days leading up to November 6, 2018, we were provided information by law enforcement authorities, including a list of Tumblr accounts allegedly tied to the IRA. We immediately initiated our own independent investigation and we have now identified a total of 112 accounts that we believe to be IRA-affiliated. These accounts appear to be relics of past IRA activity. None of the blogs contained any content related to the 2018 midterm elections, and all of the blogs were dormant since the 2016 election cycle. Although these blogs posed no threat to the 2018 elections, consistent with our promise in March, we: Immediately terminated these accounts and removed the original posts;Left reblogs of posts from these accounts in place for transparency purposes;Are notifying you if you liked, reblogged, replied to, or followed one of the accounts; andHave added the accounts to our public record of usernames linked to state-sponsored disinformation campaigns.U.S. intelligence officials and law enforcement continue to warn that we will see attempts at foreign influence in the future. We remain committed to closely monitoring for signs of state-sponsored disinformation campaigns and will continue to review any information made available to us. There are also things you can do to help stop the spread of disinformation and propaganda. Be aware that people want to manipulate the conversation. Knowing that disinformation and propaganda accounts are out there makes it harder for them to operate. The News Literacy Project has this handy checklist (hosted by John Jay College of Criminal Justice ) for spotting their tricks.Be skeptical of things you read. Disinformation campaigns work because they know people don’t fact check. Look for reliable sources, and double-check that the source really says the same thing as the post. You can also check Snopes and Politifact. Both are award-winning resources and usually have the latest viral claim fact-checked on the front page. Correct the record. When you see people spreading misinformation—even unintentionally—politely say something in a reblog or reply. If it’s your friend, send them a message to let them know.Most importantly, we’ll continue to keep our promise to be transparent with you. #news----------------------------------------------------------

#Tumblr #Facebook #Dec 17 #artists on tumblr #facebook exodus #tumblr exodus #A better more positive tumblr #community guidelines

[shirlleycoyle]

A Controversial Autism Treatment Is About to Become a Very Big Business

When desperate parents are looking for medical treatment for their kids, especially their autistic kids, they often do two things: They look up information about a program at Duke University, and then, in short order, they go to GoFundMe. The fundraising site is full of pleas that often mirror each other, in essence saying: My child has one hope, and that hope is in stem cell and cord blood treatments.

This hope, though, is attached to treatments that are hotly disputed at best, unproven at worst, and often very expensive in either case. At Duke University’s Marcus Center for Cellular Cures, parents can enroll their children into a number of clinical trials that aim to study the effects of cells derived from umbilical cord blood on treating the effects of autism and brain injuries; adults can also participate in a trial testing whether cord blood can help them recover from ischemic strokes. And when parents can’t get their children into any of these clinical trials, particularly for autism, they often opt for what’s called the Expanded Access Program (EAP), in which they pay between $10,000 and $15,000 to get their kids a single infusion.

All of the trials use products derived from human umbilical cord blood, which is a source of stem cells as well as other types of cells. The autism trials are using a type of immune cells called monocytes, according to Dr. Joanne Kurtzberg, a well-respected Duke professor who’s conducting clinical trials into whether cord blood can help with autism, and who has been researching stem cells since the early ‘90s. (On ClinicalTrials.gov, however, these trials are listed as using mesenchymal stromal cells, which are a completely different type of cord blood cell.)

Now, a for-profit company called Cryo-Cell International with ties to Duke researchers has indicated that it plans to open clinics promoting these treatments, under a licensing agreement with the renowned North Carolina university. (Cryo-Cell acknowledged receiving a list of questions from Motherboard, but did not respond to any follow-up emails or respond to those questions before publication.) In their investor presentation, Cryo-Cell said they plan to become “an autonomous, vertically integrated cellular therapy company that will treat patients.”

Do you work for Duke University or Cryo-Cell? We would love to hear from you. Contact the reporter at [email protected], or on Signal at 267-713-9832.

Duke and Cryo-Cell’s rush to monetize a procedure before it’s shown to have solid benefits has created concern, though, across the community of scientists, clinicians, and medical ethicists who study autism treatments.

The hope is that these cord blood infusions can improve some autism symptoms, like socialization and language, or decrease the inflammation that some parents and clinicians think might exacerbate autism symptoms. Early study results, however, haven’t been very promising. A large randomized clinical trial, the results of which were released in May 2020, showed that a single infusion of cord blood was not, in the words of the researchers, “associated with improved socialization skills or reduced autism symptoms.”

This is why Duke’s latest move comes as such a surprise: The university and Cryo-Cell have told investors that they’re planning to open a series of “infusion centers.” At these clinics, Cryo-Cell will use Duke’s technology and methods to offer cord blood treatments for $15,000 per infusion.

In an exuberant presentation for investors, Cryo-Cell said it estimates an annual revenue of $24 million per clinic; it hasn’t disclosed how many clinics it plans to open. At least one will reportedly open in Durham, North Carolina.

A student walks past Duke Chapel on the campus of Duke University in Durham, North Carolina, Monday, April 30, 2007. (Photo by Jim R. Bounds/Bloomberg via Getty Images)

The move follows a June 2020 announcement that Cryo-Cell had entered into an exclusive patent-option agreement with Duke, allowing it to manufacture and sell products based on patents from Dr. Joanne Kurtzberg.

Thus far, though, Duke’s trials have not shown any promising results for cord blood products as autism treatments, granting that the research is still far from over. The university told Motherboard, “Duke’s institutional position is that additional research is required and to encourage further study to provide definitive results.” (Many autistic self-advocates object to the idea that autism needs a “cure,” and elsewhere, autism research is beginning to shift away from that language and more toward early diagnosis for children and helping autistic adults lead fulfilling and fully supported lives.)

Kurtzberg's goal, she told Motherboard in email responses provided by Duke, "is to develop and evaluate treatments that will help improve social skills and the ability to communicate with others in children with autism.” For both cerebral palsy and autism, she added, “improvements are measured using well-established tests. Among some children with cerebral palsy, improvements have been measured in gross motor function. With autism, there have been measurable improvements in communications and executive function among some study participants.”

Alycia Halladay is the chief science officer at the Autism Science Foundation, which seeks to guide families into safe, evidence-based treatments for autism. “While stem cell therapies as medical intervention for the ASD are currently being rigorously studied at Duke, it is still too early to say they actually help those on the spectrum,” she told Motherboard. “Making the move at this time to sell this therapy to families across the world is irresponsible and dangerous. It shocks and surprises me that Duke University, an institution with a stellar academic reputation, would enter into an agreement to sell intellectual property for stem cells in autism, especially since Duke has enormous financial incentive to make this profitable for Cryo-Cell.”

“I was horrified when I first heard about the Duke program,” said Anne Borden King. She’s a Toronto-based science writer and the current chair of the Campaign Against Phony Autism Cures. She also hosts the podcast “Noncompliant,” about neurodiversity, where she’s frequently spoken critically about the Duke program.

Borden King has come to believe that Duke is leveraging its reputation to run a program that’s far from ethical. “When you see a university name on a project, you think everything must be on the up-and-up,” she said. “But that’s actually not a safe assumption. Money talks.”

The idea of using therapies derived from umbilical cord blood to treat serious disorders isn’t new, and neither is the controversy around it. There are small stem cell clinics across the world, from Mexico to Panama to the Caribbean, making a host of shaky claims about the benefits that stem cells from cord blood can provide, both autologous ones (stem cells that come from the patient themselves, taken from cord blood banked at birth) and allogeneic (stem cells that come from someone other than the patient). In the past decade, small stem cell clinics have also begun to dot the United States, mostly in strip malls and similarly downmarket locales, offering treatment for things like back pain.

Stem cell clinics started to bubble into the public awareness around 2010. At that point, said Paul Knopefler, “almost all of it was outside the United States. I had people asking me, ‘Should I go to the Caribbean?’”

Knoepfler is a professor at UC Davis in the Department of Cell Biology and Human Anatomy. For the last 11 years he’s also been one of the more widely-read experts on stem cell and related therapies, with a blog called The Niche. He’s watched as these treatments went from speculative to potential cash cows; one of the earliest clinics to get a flood of attention was Celltex, a Texas firm where former Gov. Rick Perry had experimental back surgery. (NBC reported in 2011 that Perry pushed a bill that would have benefited Celltex, and he joined its board of directors in 2016, after he was no longer governor but before he joined the Trump administration as energy secretary. Perry resigned from that position in 2017.)

In the early days, Knoepfler said, “it was a mixed bag in terms of the diseases that were on people’s minds: arthritis, orthopedic issues, ranging to things more concerning to me, like parents reaching out about kids with autism or cerebral palsy.”

In the mid 2000s, agreed Leigh Turner, “I was watching this entire marketplace come into existence before my eyes.” Turner is a bioethicist and a professor in the Department of Health, Society and Behavior at UC Irvine’s public health program, and he and Knoepfler released a study in 2016 showing a huge profusion of stem cell clinics across the United States, often marketing themselves as cures for orthopedic and sports medicine problems. What they found, Turner said, was “a growing number of companies in the U.S. that were selling purported stem cell treatments not licensed by the FDA, [and which had] no meaningful evidence of safety and efficacy.” He wrote a letter to the FDA about one such clinic, urging it to investigate, before realizing that looking at the field as a whole would be a better use of his time.

Umbilical cord blood and cord, collected from hospitals, are prepared for storage at the headquarters of the Polish umbilical cord blood bank PBKM/FamiCord on November 26, 2019 in Warsaw. – Poland has emerged as Europe's leader in stem cell storage, a billion-dollar global industry that is a key part of a new therapy that can treat leukaemia but also raises excessive hope in other patients. (Photo by Wojtek RADWANSKI / AFP) (Photo by WOJTEK RADWANSKI/AFP via Getty Images)

Though stem cell clinics have been around for years, the sheen of academic and scientific legitimacy bestowed by Duke onto experimental stem cell and cord blood treatments is very new indeed. And the combination of legitimate institutional backing, money, and the hopes of desperate parents is creating a combination that critics say is combustible and potentially very risky.

At Duke, Turner said, there are respected researchers like Kurtzberg, who have, as he put it, “a long period of actual research in stem cell transplantation and meaningful research in publications, credible clinical trials. These are actual individuals who are part of the broader scientific community. It’s not the veneer of science. I imagine there are cell manufacturing and cell processing techniques that are more robust than you’d get at a strip-mall stem cell clinic.”

But there are also some similarities between what Duke is doing and the work at smaller clinics, he added. “One of them is that, at the end of the day, there are many individuals paying out of pocket. It’s not just a clinical trial. Not covered by a public or private health insurer.”

Kurtzberg is also now the medical director at Cryo-Cell, a position she took on in 2018. (A Duke spokesperson confirmed that she’s still in that role. In response to a question about how the university manages potential conflicts of interest between Kurtzberg’s two roles, they told Motherboard: “All Duke faculty must observe conflict of interest guidelines that are closely monitored by the university. Dr. Kurtzberg has reported activities with companies, institutions, or organizations outside Duke University. Any potential conflicts of interest are reviewed and, when appropriate, managed by the individual and the university.”)

Kurtzberg, in email responses provided by Duke, said that her role at Cryo-Cell was the result of the company acquiring a cord blood bank called Cord:Use, which contracted with a blood bank she founded at Duke. “When Cryo-Cell bought Cord:Use, those functions and financial arrangements continued without change.” Her salary for that job, she said, “was paid directly to the Family Support Program for the Pediatric Transplant and Cellular Therapies” at Duke.

As the cord blood market has grown, autistic children—and their often desperate, always well-meaning parents—have since begun to comprise a core market for those therapies, even as the benefits of the treatments remain largely speculative. And as Business Insider’s Tom Porter reported in January, experts in the field say that the fly-by-night clinics in other countries are getting an unintended legitimacy boost from Duke. In GoFundMe appeals, parents talk about going to overseas clinics after being unable to get into Duke, or because they felt they saw promising results from a Duke infusion and wanted another. “We have researched hospitals outside of the United States and there is a reputable medical group performing the Stem Cell Therapy in Panama City, Panama,” reads one typical plea, from a desperate mother, asking for $20,000 to get her child there.

Autistic kids and their parents are already extremely vulnerable from the start, Borden King says, due to the sheer amount of misinformation and pseudoscience that’s directed their way. She began running the Campaign Against Phony Autism Cures three years ago, after her son received an autism diagnosis. “I started meeting all these parents in meetup groups who were doing phony cures and it really shocked me, just how much of it is out there, how many different scams,” she said. “How dangerous some of them are for kids. Things like feeding kids bleach, using chelation to remove so-called ‘vaccine injury,’ and so many other things.”

She began looking at the Duke program after seeing the results of the study released in May 2020, which showed that a single cord blood infusion wasn’t effective in reducing autism symptoms. (The study authors, Dr. Kurtzberg and her colleague Dr. Geraldine Dawson, did say, however, that a subgroup of children in the study without an intellectual disability showed some improvements in “language communication, ability to sustain attention measured via eye tracking, and increased alpha and beta EEG power, a measure of brain function,” as a press release from Duke put it.)

The results were unambiguous overall, in the view of experts in the field. “This is a uniquely solid study in this area so in my view there’s not much room for hedging bets like ‘Well, maybe trying things a little different will work’ anymore,” Paul Knoepfler wrote on The Niche. “The key data in the paper are in Table II (screenshot below) showing across the board that there is no benefit of cord blood for these patients.”

“The first thing that jumped out at me when I read Duke’s study was they reported kids having health issues during infusion, like severe allergic reactions—and also being agitated and upset by the procedure,” Borden King said. (Duke’s researchers said some children experienced “agitation during IV placement and infusion” and one child experienced an allergic reaction, which was immediately treated, but they characterized most of the adverse events seen during the study as “nonserious,” and that overall the infusions were “safe and well tolerated.”)

Duke told Motherboard that “‘Cures’ is an aspirational term, not a statement about the current standard of care.”

The second thing, Borden King added, was “Duke’s own conclusion that they didn’t find any benefit from the infusions. The third thing was that they were continuing with new studies of the same thing and running a pay-to-play [in the form of the EAP program]. I thought, why? Their own studies say no evidence of benefit and clear evidence of harm. Why are they continuing?” (Duke told Motherboard, “Further research is warranted to understand the basis for favorable responses in some study participants,” referring apparently to the subgroup of children without intellectual disabilities.)

There’s one main reason why Duke has been able to run so many clinical trials relating to stem cells: Bernie Marcus, the Home Depot founder. Marcus suffered from bronchiectasis, a condition where the lungs become damaged and clogged with mucus, and sought treatment from the Stem Cell Institute (STI) in Panama, according to a blog post on its website. STI is controversial, to put it lightly. The physician and science writer Dr. David Gorski, who writes frequently about pseudoscience, especially in autism treatments, has baldly referred to it as a “quack clinic,” noting that their website “advertises stem cells to treat autism, cerebral palsy, heart failure, multiple sclerosis, osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, spinal cord injury, and autoimmune diseases, complete with very little actual science but a whole lot of testimonials.”

Home Depot CEO Bernie Marcus poses for a portrait in a Home Depot store October 15, 1998. (Photo by Erik Lesser/Liaison)

Marcus felt that the treatment he received in Panama helped his condition; soon, per the STI blog post, he was bringing his wife down to Panama for treatment to help with her knee pain. His foundation, the Marcus Foundation, soon began donating millions of dollars to both STI and Duke for stem cell research. (The Marcus Foundation could not be reached for comment: the non-profit does not maintain any kind of public-facing website or social media presence, and a phone number for them does not allow callers to leave messages. Several messages to the organzation’s program director, Elisa Levy, were returned as undeliverable.)

Bernie Marcus’ efforts in this area led, in 2018, to the founding of the institution at Duke that bears his name: the sunnily named Marcus Center for Cellular Cures.

“I think [that name] is hugely problematic,” says Jeremy Snyder, a professor in the Faculty of Health Sciences at Simon Fraser University whose research focuses on public health ethics and medical tourism, among other topics. (He and Leigh Turner have released research about misleading stem cells claims in GoFundMe appeals and the ways platforms like GoFundMe can spread health misinformation across the web. “In general crowdfunding platforms, they appear to be do very little in terms of any way vetting crowdfunding campaigns, Turner told Motherboard. “It can be a dodgy cancer clinic in Germany or a stem cell clinic in the U.S. and GoFundMe takes a hands-off approach unless there’s a groundswell of media coverage.”)

“That’s a longstanding complaint,” Snyder says, of the Marcus Center’s incredibly optimistic name. “You’ll see this in the cancer realm quite a bit. Marketing divisions of large hospitals put out commercials and different marketing materials, and you get a lot of that misleading language, playing on these tropes of hope, fighting, cures.” The point of the research, he explained, isn’t necessarily to “cure” the participants. “It’s to find out if this thing even works. If you’re getting ahead of yourself and calling it a cure, that’s deeply unethical.” (Duke told Motherboard that “‘Cures’ is an aspirational term, not a statement about the current standard of care.”)

In email responses provided by Duke, Kurtzberg told Motherboard that monocytes “can modulate inflammation, especially in the brain. In cerebral palsy, these cells promote repair of myelin—particularly in the motor tracks, which is often damaged during injuries. We have published several papers regarding this, noting the unique properties of monocytes in cord blood.”

Autism, Kurtzberg added, “is more complicated because there are multiple etiologies causing this condition. In some instances, there is inflammation of the brain, and cord blood tissue appears to calm down that inflammation in animals and lab models. We are exploring whether cells in cord blood or in cord tissue, we’re not sure which, has the ability in certain patients to calm down that inflammation and improve symptoms.”

This theory, though, is not new. As journalist Brendan Bournell reported in an extensive investigation for Spectrum News in 2019, Kurtzberg and Geraldine Dawson led a Duke team that published results in 2017 suggesting that in a trial of 22 children, all between 2 and 5 years of age, 13 had shown improvement after a single infusion. But, as Bournell noted, “Without a control group, it is impossible to say whether the children would have improved anyway.” More importantly, he wrote, “A follow-up report found that those who improved showed increased connectivity in brain regions affected by autism, including the limbic system, but the researchers published no evidence to support their inflammation theory.”

As the years have passed, Turner, Knoepfler, and Snyder have all begun asking the same basic question about the Duke program: Why is an intervention that hasn’t shown much in the way of results not only still operational, but also charging participants a lot of money to get access to it?

“We can look at their own research,” Turner said. “They haven’t done a convincing job of demonstrating efficacy. So should people have to pay what can end up being substantial amounts of money?”

Knoepfler has questions, he said, about whether the FDA is “carefully monitoring” the Expanded Access Program at Duke, which it does have to approve, at least initially. “Are they still aware Duke and Cryo-Cell want to expand this greatly?” he asked. “Is the FDA aware of the fact that hundreds of kids have gotten infused and the plans could be for thousands more? That’s where I don't have a good sense. A lot of these things are hard to tease apart. There’s different confidentiality issues.”

One especially tricky thing, he added “is that Duke must have gotten what’s called an IND, or investigational new drug applications, for cord blood or stem cells related to cord blood. That’s the basis for running a clinical trial. And anything related to an IND, the FDA views as confidential.” Indeed, in investor documents, Cryo-Cell says plainly that it plans to administer stem cell infusions under the permissions granted by Duke and Kurtzberg’s IND approval. It has gotten, Cryo-Cell’s documents add, $5 million in startup funding from the Marcus Foundation.

The FDA did not answer specific and detailed questions about Cryo-Cell’s planned infusion centers, telling Motherboard, “As a general matter, FDA cannot comment on particular applications or investigational products.” But in order to charge patients for an investigational drug under an IND application, the agency added, “the sponsor must obtain prior written authorization from FDA in accordance with FDA regulations. When charging for individual patient expanded access [sic] to an investigational drug, a sponsor may recover only its direct costs associated with making the drug available to the patient. For individual patient expanded access, the sponsor may not charge for indirect costs, including administrative costs associated with providing an investigational drug.”

“Anything related to an [investigational new drug application], the FDA views as confidential.”

The FDA also told us that stem cell therapies and other similar treatments carry some innate risk, and essentially warned that the buyer should beware:

Stem cell therapies offer the potential to improve human health, but they also create potential inherent risks for patients because of the way they may be manipulated or administered. Unproven/unapproved stem cell therapies can be particularly unsafe and have led to serious infections, blindness, and death.  There are companies that are making unsubstantiated claims about the potential benefits of unproven cell therapies and their use in regenerative medicine, which is a disservice to those innovators who are working to develop safe and effective stem cell products, fully in keeping with our statues and regulations. Actions like this cast doubt across the entire field of regenerative medicine. We are concerned that people may use these unapproved products with a false sense of security about their safety and efficacy. Consumers should be cautious of any clinics, including regenerative medicine clinics, or health care providers, including physicians, chiropractors, or nurses, that advertise or offer any of these products.

The agency also said it has sent warning letters and “pursued enforcement actions for serious violations of the law” related to stem cell clinics. To date, a spokesperson wrote, it has sent “400 letters to manufacturers, clinics and health care providers, noting that it has come to our attention that they may be offering unapproved regenerative medicine products and that their activities may be subject to FDA regulation.”

In a recent blog post on The Niche, Knoepfler called on the FDA to freeze Duke’s EAP and closely examine its deal with Cryo-Cell. “The big-picture reason that I believe the agency should freeze this EAP is that it is not in the best interest of the children and their families,” he wrote. “I believe that Duke and Cryo-Cell may be too focused on ultimately profiting off of the EAP in the long run rather than just helping children.”

The science, he added, is simply not there. “Keep in mind,” he wrote, “there is no good evidence that cord blood can help kids with autism or CP. EAPs of this kind are supposed to have at least some quality data that is encouraging. I don’t see such data in this case.”

There’s also evidence that Cryo-Cell plans to extend these unproven treatments to COVID-19, which would both expand its market share and crowd an already cluttered marketplace of questionable treatments for the disease.

With funding from the Marcus Foundation, Duke is already running Phase 1 and 2 trials to see if mesenchymal stromal cells, which are also taken from cord blood, could help treat Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS) caused by COVID-19. Those results are not expected until 2022, but as has become a pattern with Duke and Cryo-Cell’s partnership, they’re already selling investors on the idea: Cryo-Cell’s pitch deck to investors says there are “indications under current clinical study” that mesenchymal cells from cord tissue could be used against both autism and COVID-19. (The FDA told Motherboard the agency has not approved “any regenerative medicine products, including stem cell therapies, for the treatment of COVID-19, multiple sclerosis, or autism. The only stem cell–based products that are FDA-approved for use in the U.S. consist of blood-forming stem cells (hematopoietic progenitor cells) derived from cord blood.”)

Halladay, of the Autism Science Foundation, told Motherboard she has simple advice for families looking at these treatments for autistic kids. “Families should not consider this an established, evidence-based treatment,” she wrote in an email. “Families hearing about this plan by Cryo-Cell should be suspicious and turn to their doctor or clinical team for other potential treatments and treatment combinations. This may include not just for core autism symptoms but for debilitating mental health comorbidities as well.”

In the end, the issues here extend beyond just Duke, and even the world of stem cell research, Borden King argues, noting they touch on the very nature of scientific credibility itself.

“When people think of pseudoscience, they tend to think of things like a cheesy salesman selling fake pills online,” she said. “But in my work, I see quite a few examples of autism scammers hiding behind university credentials, building hype through a university. This all has a broader impact on the credibility of our universities, which are supposed to be grounded in science. Especially at this time, when we’re fighting a pandemic and we need clear boundaries around science versus pseudoscience, the impact of projects like this just really ripples out.”

A full statement from Duke University is below:

Researchers at Duke University have studied the use of cord blood cells for pediatric blood cancers and have explored potential therapeutic applications of these cells for neurological disorders in children arising from inborn errors of metabolism, traumatic brain injury, cerebral palsy, autism and neuroinflammatory conditions.

Duke researchers are active in conducting randomized controlled clinical trials evaluating cord blood cell therapies for these applications. Data from the studies are submitted for publication in peer reviewed journals and are rigorously assessed by the scientific community and the FDA. Much remains to be learned about how these cells affect the brain and about clinical outcomes, and Duke investigators are committed to ongoing research to close these gaps in knowledge.

For some children who do not qualify for clinical studies, but who have few other options for treatment of their conditions, the FDA has authorized Duke to offer cord blood cells through an expanded access protocol (EAP) monitored by the FDA.

In recent months, Duke has entered into a licensing agreement with Cryo-Cell International to provide regulatory information and other data that would help advance the company’s effort to develop a cell therapy program eligible for approval from the FDA. This licensing agreement does not grant Cryo-Cell the use of Duke’s EAP for the treatment of patients at Cryo-Cell, but will allow Cryo-Cell to develop its own cell therapy program.

Duke is committed to ensuring that scientific evidence guides the further study and use of these investigational therapies. As new findings provide additional insights, Duke will continue to evaluate how best to move forward, both with research and with FDA-approved clinical applications.

A Controversial Autism Treatment Is About to Become a Very Big Business syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/