#I’m in my grave

[hamletthedane]

Nothing worse than your grandparents asking if you’re bringing a boyfriend to the family’s annual deer hunt, and you getting a little ticked off bc you’ve been openly gay for the better part of a decade so you impulsively respond “no I’m bringing my girlfriend” and get a nice apologetic response but UH OH - you haven’t had anything resembling a serious date since before law school and that was like five years ago so now you have to pretend to break up with your alleged girlfriend right before the trip and act all sad about it the whole time which is definitely a much worse fate than just ignoring some vague homophobia, and now your cousins also want details and your parents are like wtf who the hell is this mystery girl, when ALL you really wanted was an excuse to quietly sit in a deer blind for a few hours in November, wrapped in blankets drinking spiked hot chocolate and pretending to look for deer.

#shut up e #i make my own fortunes i dig my own graves #there is an easy solution to this called ‘tell them it was just a joke and I’m not seeing anybody’ but that’s somehow even more humiliating #anyways time to come up with the funniest ex i can think of that would still be believable #i am in the world’s shittiest romcom with no rom and I’m the com 😂

[gayvampyr]

this may seem extreme but i believe people who say things like this should die

#the fact that i had to see this shit in my notifs… rancid #let’s see how photogenic your body looks when i’m throwing it in a shallow grave #fatphobia #text post #oh so this got popular #hi every fat person reblogging this ily <3 #top posts #5k #10k #15k #20k #25k

[bread-that-draws]

Flowey’s so funny and has me so fucked up like he’s a talking flower. He tries to kill you upon your first interaction. He is ten years old. He is damaged beyond repair. He’s a flower named Flowey. He’s become friends with every single character. He’s killed all of them countless times. He knows everything about everyone. He doesn’t care anymore. He takes care of his mom when she can’t take care of herself. He’s killed her before. He doesn’t care if you kill her. He thinks she’s trying to replace him. He just wants to be himself again. He wants to destroy everything. He hates you. You’re the only one who understands him. He wants his best friend back. He’s terrified of them. He believes in kill or be killed because he died by giving mercy to the wrong person. He believes himself to be the wrong person. He doesn’t understand when you show him that kindness he showed others, even when you know he could kill you for it. He’s tried every route. He asks you if you have anything better to do when you try to do the same. He’s a direct reflection of the player. He’s a fucking talking flower named flowey and his only voice line is by Ronald McDonald and his officially licensed plush does a little dance for you

#‘Flowey would listen to i bet on losing dogs by Mitski and cry until he throws up and Chara calls him cringe from beyond the grave’ #-me to my friend when I ranted about this last night #he has me so fucked up like oh my god #how is the best character a fucking talking flower #I love undertale’s writing so much like it’s mastered minimal evidence giving away the biggest parts of characters #i can analyze him i can study him under a microscope #i can put him in a terrarium with a sticky note that says gay baby jail you know #he has me SO fucked up #flowey #flowey the flower #asriel #asriel dreemurr #I’m talking about flowey btw not asriel i know they’re the same person but not to me #like how i consider little baby me and fucked up 13 year old me different people #asriel sits on the playground and cries when nobody wants to play warrior cats with him #and flowey sits in the back of classrooms and answers ‘life is MEANINGLESS’ to every question #not speaking from experience ofc (im lying) #love my edgy flower *puts a magnifying glass up to him and notes how fucked up he is* #i think more characters need to be fucked up beyond repair #undertale #utdr #character analysis

[damp-gravelove]

Best way to get your ideal lover 🩶

#it popped into my head so I’m releasing it to all my besties and beyond <3 #grub speaks #the coffin of andy and leyley #tcoaal #gravecest #coffincest #shipcest #ashley graves #andrew graves #andrew x ashley #ashley x andrew

[cod-dump]

Nikpricegraves thoughts, special delivery!

Nik getting more grey in his hair, and neither Price or Graves wants to bring it up, because they don't know how Nik feels about it. They dom't want to make him feel self-conscious.

So they wait. And Nik finally brings it up, very casually (fronting like hell) musing aloud that he might color the grey so people don't think their evac pilot is too old.

And maaaaybe Price and Graves wanted their responses to be a liiiittle more restrained, a little more level-headed. But they weren't.

Price: You are not TOUCHING that silver--

Graves: Like HELL you're--absolutely not!

Price: Anyone lucky enough to have you picking him up has no right to complain about that!

Graves: And it's sexy as hell anyway!

Price: Exactly, you're fuckin gorgeous.

Nik: ... Thank you?

Nik was a very confident man. He was sure of himself, comfortable in his own skin and almost never doubted himself. But seeing the thin stripes of silver in his hair… he wasn’t too confident on it. The reality of him being old was setting in and he wasn’t very happy about it.

Nik never gave the thought of him getting old much thought considering he didn’t think he would get this far, especially not with his constant flirting with death. He never thought about how he would feel about growing grey, and now that it was here, highlighting his temples? Nik felt his heart squeeze, uncertainty making his chest tight.

Worse part was that neither his husband or boyfriend had mentioned anything about the grey, which just added to his uncertainty about it. He’s caught them whispering about it, both immediately cutting themselves off upon noticing him. He’s caught them staring, again no comments about it. Nik knows they had noticed it, of course they did. They notice everything new or different about him, most of the time even before he’s noticed it.

He didn’t like their silence and was choosing to assume the worst. But he kept quiet, just like how they were choosing to stay quiet. The topic of greying hair wouldn’t come up until one night while they ate dinner. He couldn’t help but stare at their own hair, how he would’ve noticed if John had started to grey (surprising he hadn’t by this point). The silver would’ve been noticeable amongst his dark brown hair, within his beard. It would be undeniably attractive.

Phil greying would been less noticeable considering his golden hair. There would’ve needed to be quite a few grey hairs before it was obvious and even then it would blend nicely with the gold strands. It would add to the American’s charm. Both would carry silver has crowns yet… Nik couldn’t determine that about himself. Couldn’t see himself with it, even as it took residence within his hair.

“I think I need to start investing in hair dye.”

The speed in which Phil turned his head to look at him made Nik fear he would break his neck. John just froze mid bite, eyes looking up to stare at him. Nik kept his usual level of smug confidence about him even though he wasn’t feeling anything remotely similar. Phil swallows his food, taking a deep swig of his water before he glares at him.

“Over my dead body.”

Nik blinked in surprise, his facade cracking.

“Nik, my love, if you do that you’d break my heart,” John added, staring intensely at him.

Nik looked between his partners before he cleared his throat, “Right-“

“Nikky, I’m serious,” Phil said firmly, “That silver is so fucking hot and if you dye it I’ll probably cry.”

“I second that,” John said very seriously.

Nik couldn’t help but laugh at their seriousness. Phil stood and walked behind him fingers going into his hair which of course caused Nik to lean back and practically melt. John stood as well and walked over.

“Should’ve known something was up when you hadn’t said anything. Big, bad Nikolai, insecure over some grey hairs.”

Nik huffs, closing his eyes as Phil continued to play with his hair, “I am not insecure.”

“You just said you wanted to dye it.”

Nik huffs, he could hear Phil’s smirk. He mustered up an unamused frown, which was immediately chased away by a well placed kiss from John. Nik was choosing to be annoyed in order to hide how relieved he felt about their approval. The two would probably pry that confession out of him later when it wouldn’t add onto their smugness over his unusual lack of confidence.

“You might want to prepare for when we return from leave, the boys are definitely going to say something when they notice.”

Nik snorts, “If they have a problem with their transport getting grey then they can cry about it.”

“Cry and complain, with bad jokes on the side.”

By the time they returned from leave, Nik would regain his rock solid confidence. And some jokes of his own because what is an old man without his jokes?

#nikpricegraves my beloved #call of duty #modern warfare #cod nikolai #john price #phillip graves #ask #thanks for the ask <3 #pricegravesnik #nikpricegraves #drabble #he will now be even more insufferable #nik: i’m old i cant be lifting that sorry #nik: i mustve not heard you with being how old i am #nik: im old of course im grumpy #price and graves are going to be sick of him witin a week #(this is a lie they’ll never be sick of him)

[bipanicoverthegravessiblings]

I’ve been following this blog ever since your first headcannons and I’m in love with your writing. I’ve been DYING for someone to request this but nobody has so I will! Could I request a Yandere Andrew with a willing fem reader? She’s just pretty chill and doesn’t mind Andrew’s possessive and yandere nature and is even willing to cut ties with people because she loves him and genuinely sees nothing wrong with it?

P.S I just love the Ashley and Gabriel ship! I think it’s adorable! I love Gabriel’s design and the pairing looks adorable together! I’m always looking on Tumblr multiple times a day to see if you’ve posted something new.

If you accept, please take your time and have fun! Thank you!

Anon- you are so sweet. Thanks dog <3

totallynotcryingtotallynotcrying—

Yandere!Andrew Graves x Willing Fem!Reader

You can’t remember the last time someone cared about you as much as Andrew did

Someone who would do the things he did just to protect you

Really you couldn’t be luckier

Most women would be terrified to see the dark silhouette of their partner standing outside their window late at night

Not you though, you know he was just making sure you were safe.

You waved to him once, and though it was difficult to see- he waved back

It was endearing how much Andrew cared about your safety

It was sweet how much he noticed about you

Small details that would go overlooked, like the shampoo you used- or the way you held yourself while conveying emotions. He noticed.

Andrew loved you. And you loved him.

“I’m just…worried.” Your friend’s voice felt like the vocal equivalent of chewing cardboard. If it wasn’t for the subject right now, you would’ve tuned her out ages ago. But this concerned you and your life, so you listened, “Like- he’s a stalker Y/N! Straight up stalker! What if he like- wears your skin like a jacket or something.”

“Hm.” You shrugged, “I’m sure he’d sew a lovely jacket then.” A small grin formed on the corners of your mouth as your friend gave an annoyed sigh.

“I’m being serious! He’s obsessed with you!”

“Boyfriends are supposed to be obsessed, aren’t they not?”

“No! Like weirdly obsessed!” You could hear the desperation in her voice, “Y/N, you don’t get it. I’ve been- I’ve been getting letters, voicemails, goddamn post it notes on my desk to stay away from you and they’re all from him. He broke into my house!”

Andrew….did all that?

“Oh my god…” you let out.

“Thank you!”

“Oh my god…he- really must not trust you then.”

“WHAT?!” You had to hold the phone away from your ear as your friend yelled into it.

You slowly brought it back to your ear, “Well- yeah? I mean- clearly he doesn’t trust you.”

“Clearly he’s insane!”

Alright- you had enough.

“Look,” you took a breath, trying to remain calm, “If you have a problem with my boyfriend- that’s fine. But I’m not going to sit here and listen to you insult him.”

“I’m not insulting him I’m—“

“Don’t call me again.” You said flatly, and not a second later hung up the phone.

You should feel awful. You should feel apologetic for what you said. You should consider your friend’s words..

But you didn’t.

It wasn’t like how they thought it was.

That friend, and any others who had something to say could fuck themselves over it

It was hard every time you had to do it

But Andrew- bless his soul- always comforted you

Hell, sometimes he even did it for you cause he knew how difficult they could be

He’s so sweet

Still would make them call, but you slowly blocked out the incessant sound of the phone’s ringing

When one of those conversations would bring you down, Andrew would be right there to lift your spirits

Andrew’s hands cupped your face, his thumbs trying to lift the corner of your mouth into a smile. The more he did it, the more it amused you- causing an actual smile to stay.

“There we go.” His head tilted a little as he gave you a small smile of his own, “Much better.”

“You’re a dork.” You buried your face into his chest, sighing happily as the familiar feeling of his hands stroking your hair.

“I’m your dork.” He hummed, “And I like your smile. So you better keep it, or I’ll carve it on to you.”

“Awwww, is that a promise?” You tilted your head up to look into his pale green eyes, your chin rested against his chest.

He nodded, “Mhm! Now C’mere.”

He leaned his head down, kissing you softly. You returned the kiss, reaching your arms up and wrapping them around his neck to hold him there. Not like he’d pull away, but as a measure for yourself more than anything.

For all the “warnings”

All the “concern” people gave your relationship with Andrew Graves

You didn’t care

You loved him

You loved his fucked up ways of affection

His twisted form of love

And he loved you back, tenfold

#the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew graves #tcoaal #andrew graves x reader #x reader #genuinely this ask warmed my heart #I’m glad people like Gabriel and my dumb shit

[racewinnerlandonorris]

Lando Norris with a fan in Qatar before the Grand Prix

#i’m dead #deceased #gone #in my grave #6ft under #he’s so hot #body ody ody #lando norris #ln #f1 #formula 1

[manitapaleta]

Hey what’s up, I’m still crying over this

#dungeons and daddies #dndaddies #dndads #dndads s2 #dndaddies s2 #Ron stampler #scary marlowe #my art #screaming into the never ending void #if we fr never see Terry jr again I’m going to set a car on fire #I think that’s unlikely since we constantly see characters come back from the dead/communicate from beyond the grave BUT YOU NEVER KNOW #IM GOING TO PRAY EVERYDAY

[grave-st0ned]

GAYS, GHOULS, AND EVERYONE IN BETWEEN:

THEY’RE MAKING MORE THIS IS NOT A DRILL

*​idk when these will drop but i will update when/if i find out*

**UPDATE 8/24 THESE ARE DROPPING FRIDAY 8/25 (TOMORROW) 9a PST !!!!!**

#grave-st0ned #🪦 #🕸️ #thoughts w/ corey #monster high #mh #monster high gen 3 #monster high g3 #mh g3 #monster high x yru #yru #yru shoes #fashion shoes #shoes #fashion dolls #fashion #dollblr #i’m so excited #i don’t think i’m gonna get any of these bc i got the dune los from the last drop #they still haven’t shipped though T-T #my buddy wants to get a pair of the clawdeen ones though #i feel like i would have to get three if i get one of these bc completionist brain and i literally cannot afford that LMAO #if i HAD to pick one it’d probably be the black drac dune los #but that might just be bc my hairs pink rn #i do like the frankie ones too #idk how i feel about the velvet for clawdeens ngl #like it tracks but also ??? both of them needed to be velvet ? #i am living for the the buckles all day every day

[televised-eyes]

it just hit me that crowley as a character is especially attractive and sympathetic to kids and teenagers because he’s the “cool moody sexy rebellious one” whereas aziraphale is deeply uncool, typically follows the rules, and is not conventionally attractive. so of course the kids and teenagers on this website are going to defend crowley at all costs even if it means having cruel and uninformed opinions…

this truly explains everything to me

#crowley is like the hot topic mascot of yore #meaning i probably would have felt the same way if the good omens tv show was around when i was 14 on tumblr #bc my brain was undeveloped and latched onto superficial things #now i’m older and can sympathize with both sides #good omens #good omens 2 #gomens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #anthony j crowley #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #i’ll defend azira’s honor to my grave

[tombstoneswerewaiting]

more recurring symbolism in fob songs

don’t let pete near a bridge with a box of matches i beg

#he’s a hazard #i’m surprised the flame thrower bass hasn’t taken anyone’s eyebrows #specifically patrick #i feel like he’d be the first to lose his eyebrows bc of pete #fall out boy #fob #pete wentz #patrick stump #andy hurley #joe trohman #tell that mick he just made my list of things to do today #nobody puts baby in the corner #i’m like a lawyer with the way i’m always trying to get you off (me and you) #fourth of july #take this to your grave #from under the cork tree #infinity on high #american beauty/american psycho

[pedgito]

Big spoon or little spoon? Big spoon.

#joseph quinn #joe quinn #i’m digging my own fucking grave

[giac222]

Something sweet that I noticed is that Andrew does not like seeing Ashley sad, here are some examples:

Then he kisses her head afterwards. 🥺

This is one of my favorite moments in the game:

“This episode is titled: Andrew and Ashley and the Home Sweet Home Invasion.” They’re so cute 😭

Then there’s this:

After that he goes on to praise her cooking like crazy and talks about writing a “shitty poem” about it. 💚

Another funny thing about this scene is the part where Andrew is like “And yet the meat is drier than her lips, quarter past midnight.” like hello??? 👀. After that Ashley asks if she should buy lip balm, she was sooo oblivious there 😂.

I love them fr

Me when Andrew finally tells Ashley that he loves her in episode 3:

Lmao

#i’m so normal about them #the coffin of andy and leyley #tcoaal #andrew graves #ashley graves #nemlei #kit9 #gravecest #coffincest #andrew x ashley #ashley x andrew #leyley graves #andy graves #leyley x andy #andy x leyley #the brainrot is real #they’re my pookies tbh #longer post

[purplepenntapus]

ZoSan would be a fast burn if they ever talked to each other. It’s a slow burn because they’re physically incapable of communicating in any way other than fighting lmao

#I’m sorry their lack of communication is so so funny to me because there’s so much about each other that they’d actually like if they ever #had a normal conversation #real talk in my head the only reason they end up together is because they have nakama who love to meddle #and are also sick and tired of watching them dance around each other #otherwise they would just pine separately and never ever do anything about it #Zoro in particular is like ‘hm feelings alright I will take this to my grave’ #rambles #one piece #ZoSan

[pepperpixel]

Scott pilgrim art dump!!!! I started working on these like a fucking month ago and just have not been able to finish them cuz life has been so fucking busy… but I FINALLY! I finally managed to finish them now!!! So behold!!!!!! My blorbos! My favs…. I rlly enjoyed every scene w these 3 they were adorable and awesome and cool…. I hope u guys enjoy my art of them even if it is super freaking late ghgh

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim takes off #gideon graves #gideon gordon graves #matthew patel #julie powers #gordon goose #doodles #patelgraves #suggestive #for the last one lol #but yeah… here’s wonderwall ghgh- #gravespatel #I guess Julie x Gideon doesn’t have a ship name lol #I tried looking for one but could not find it #but yeah!!! these 3 rock… they r a delight #definitely my fav part of the show. I loved all the other evil exes too! and like. most of the other characters ghg #tbh this was just a generally fun show I enjoyed it #idk if I’m gonna draw more stuff for these 3.. when I started on this art I was planning to draw more stuff #but then it took so long…. and I’m like.. 1 I might have lost the drive. and 2 I’m so fucking late to the party ghgh #but! we shall see! who knows… #the fact all 3 of these guys are like seemingly the same fucking height (SHORT AS HELL) is. #it’s adorable! and I love it! but also it’s killing me ghgh I need some sort of height diff somewhere!! #but not a single one of these bitches drank there milk they’re ALL short! #so yeah.. if any of them looks taller then they should I’m sorry ghg- I was trying! but I was also struggling #but anyway! yeah… I like them they’re cute! and fun! #I hope u guys like my art of them!

[send-me-a-puffalope]

me when i get attached to doomed characters, knowing that Vanessa will likely eventually don her own fursuit and there’s nothing I can do about it

#fnaf movie spoilers #fnaf movie #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #vanessa afton #vanessa shelly #fnaf vanessa #fnaf vanny #i’m vanessaposting #do i think she should become vanny?? absofruitly #i love female villains #i just don’t think this particular woman has any motivation to become a murderous rabbit yet #and because i love her i want her to have a satisfying transition into her furry arc #so i’m kinda hoping it happens in like #the third movie or whatever cause where she is now at the end of the fnaf movie #not exactly vanny #unless daddy afton has like supernatural controlling abilities #from beyond the grave #that is if she’s gonna end up actually physically becoming vanny and not just metaphorically a reluctant follower #guys my brain doesn’t shut up