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baldursgate3tempobsessed · 7 months

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Astarion Very Happy Ending

So full disclosure, my Tav was a Selunite, and I can't stop thinking well if Bhaal can have a mortal chosen one, why can't Selune?

Also, spoiler warning, stop reading here if you don't want, but like damn girl I freaking turn a Shar priestess away from her god back to you, free a man from his devil's contact, high-key save the world, kill bhaals chocen, convince my vampiric lover to not sacrifice thousands of people, stop an entire goblin army from murdering Tieflings and druids alike, and literally free your daughter. A reward is in order!

This is that reward:

Astarion was slowly getting used to living in the shadows again, as loathe as he was to admit it. It was quite the transition, despite the fact that his time in the sun had amounted to less than a year. But what a lovely year it was. Nearly a perfect one in comparison to the rest of his life. And the promise of more of the same was a suitable balm to being cursed back into the darkness.

It was difficult, but with the love of his life by his side it was more than tolerable. Borderline beautiful in fact, to be able to live his life so freely despite the infuriating complications.

The money also certainly helped.

That was one thing Astarion always had over his brothers and sisters, his fantasies of a better life had always surrounded around Cazador's murder. Not his approval. He may have been completely unaware of the horrifying dungeon beneath their feet, but he did know where the deed to his estate and other properties were kept. And now had enough connections with the higher up's of Baldur's gate for some frankly exquisite forgeries. It had been a particularly satisfying feeling to sell all of his former master's possessions off, even more so when it came to the land. Almost like he was tearing apart his legacy and handing it off to the highest bitter, piece by piece.

Though, being there with you to find and settle in your own little corner of paradise was an even better feeling. Maybe it didn't quite reach his past dreams of grandeur, but it turned out settling in a quaint and poorly lit townhouse in the upper city was more than enough for him to be satisfied.

It was a good charming life, one that Astarion was sure he didn't deserve. But that certainly wasn't going to stop him from enjoying it. Though as much as he adored where he ended up, he'd be lying if he said it was perfect.

No, perfect would have been finding a way for him to ascend without becoming a monster, living in a world where he could be with you fully, completely, out in the sun like the kind of lover you deserved. It made him feel... startlingly inadequate. Everything you did had to be in accordance to his schedule. His lack of capabilities. And just because you always insisted it didn't matter didn't fix the feeling of inadequacy. He hated it, hated the fact that there were so many hours of the day that you couldn't share. He didn't regret his choice, not for a moment, but that didn't mean he was fully satisfied with the consequences.

But in his own defense, he did make up for it in other ways. Mildly frustrating and draining ways, if not a bit rewarding. It had been his own fault, falling so utterly and completely for such a goody two-shoes. A zealot to Selune, as fierce as she was compassionate, always trying to do what was fair and just. Always dragging Astarion on for the ride of her cleric duties.

But he couldn't blame you for all of his new do-gooder ways. Not when he was nearly the leader of a bizarre cult of repentant vampire spawn.

It was just the slightest bit exhausting to so often be playing the part of their heroic leader, fighting all of his murderous instincts to work for a better future for himself and the brethren he had personally damned. Though he'd be lying if he said he didn't get any satisfaction from it. It felt... good to teach them new ways to live. To give them the chance at the beautiful life he had managed to secure for himself.

He wouldn't do it forever, just until he was confident enough to be sure that his departure wouldn't lead to a massacre on either side. Then the two of you would be off to explore the lands, working to do your goddesses work with just a touch of hedonistic activities on the way.

Astarion was looking forward to it. He hadn't done all that work to be selfless forever. No, he was going to be forced to insist on a few years of having you all to himself, with only the occasional bits of volunteer work for the temple as interruption. Then the two of you could go back to galivanting about the lands being local heroes. But he had earned an extended vacation.

One that, luckily, he hadn't had to fight you on too much. That was just one other thing he loved about you, your complete understanding that Astarion would always be a little selfish, especially when it came to you. The one person who had ever really been his, who loved him, who understood him, who believed in him. Could he be blamed for wanting to have you all to himself?

And admittedly, he did have you more often then not. Even if on occasion he did have to share with your beloved goddess.

Astarion sighed as he watched you pray in the moonlight, completely absorbed in your quiet, mystical chants. Despite his distaste for the length of your prayer sessions, Astarion did like seeing your more ritualistic side. Just... maybe not for the morally correct reasons.

He was well aware that being so involved with a vampire was clearly against your religious doctrine. But it didn't matter. You still choose him, despite how the knowledge nearly made you an outcast amongst your own kind. But he mattered more than your reputation, more than the lessons you had been taught your entire life regarding love and evil.

You still had your faith, but you never let it shake the faith you had in him, something that he valued more than he could ever express. It was perhaps a sick thought, but it also made him feel exceedingly powerful, to know the true extent of your feelings. Even more connected. It was almost... like he was defiling you, corrupting a beautiful flower to turn away from the sun to something even brighter. A love that Astarion doubted most could ever hope to feel.

Perhaps that was not the best outlook on your religion, but oh well. He'd keep those thoughts to himself. What you didn't know wouldn't kill you. Besides... if anyone had been corrupted it was him, plagued with a new sense of loyalty and gods, justice. All from the beautifully strange woman kneeling in the moonlight.

Though, you sure were taking awhile tonight. Nearly twice as long as your usual nightly prayer. He hated to interrupt your worship but this was starting to cut into his time a bit here.

"My dear," Astarion called out, swinging his legs over your shared bed to stand, "Don't you think that you've been kneeling there for a touch too long?"

But you didn't respond, still muttering under your breath, even faster than before.

Astarion narrowed his eyes as he walked closer towards you, confused by your lack of response, "Darling-Tav?"

Astarion stopped, eyes wide as he got a solid look at your first. Your eyes were wide open, body rim rod straight as your irises glowed a vibrant blue light.

What in the nine hells was happening? Astarion kneeled next to you, his heart in his throat as he shook your shoulders, "Tav, love, can you hear me? What is this?"

You didn't answer, you didn't even acknowledge his presence. But you did start floating in the god damn air. Astarion stared, helpless as he watched you levitate, words that he didn't understand spilling from your lips.

Then just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. You fell unceremoniously to the floor. Astarion scrambled towards you, his heart in his throat as you started to come to. He settled your head in his lap, his hands shaking as he touched your face, lost on what he should be doing.

You blinked your eyes open slowly, that angelic glow still radiating from your irises. But you didn't look frightened, more... excited.

You grinned up at him, your voice slightly cracking when you murmured, "We've been blessed."

Astarion stared at you, brow furrowed. He was happy you were alive and speaking but...

"That's lovely?" Astarion tried, "But severely lacking in terms of an explanation. Are you okay?"

You nodded eagerly, suddenly sitting up with an unexpected amount of energy, "I'll explain later, we don't have much time."

What was it that compelled you religious types to be so cryptic? But you didn't give him anytime to question. Instead you wrapping your arms around his neck and smashing your lips together, kissing him hard enough to take his breath away.

He wrapped strong arms around your back, pulling you in closer, always helpless but to return your affection. But something about this was different. He could feel it, holy magic spreading through him through your lips, down throughout his veins, changing something inside of him. It wasn't unpleasant per say, but it certainly was startling. Startling enough for him to almost push you away, if it wasn't for the fact that he trusted you with everything inside of himself.

Neither of you pulled away until the blue fire in your eyes had died out, and Astarion was left with the intense sensation that something had changed, irrevocably inside of him.

You stared at each other, Astarion in confusion while you looked nothing short of gleeful, "Do you feel it?"

He felt... strange. A warmth still spreading through him that was settling. Astarion raised a brow at you, exceedingly impatient when he asked, "First, how about you explain to me what in the hells that was?"

But you didn't answer. Instead you stood with an adorable hop, lending a hand out to help him up, "Do you trust me?"

Astarion almost rolled his eyes as he took your hand, annoyed that he fell for someone that had just as much of a flair for the dramatic as he did, "You know I do."

You helped him to his feet before you started to mumble again, a startlingly familiar incantation seeping from your lips. It was the spell for daylight, the very same that you had used to help defeat Cazador. The kind that could now kill Astarion in mere moments.

He was too shocked at your audacity to even protest, believing for a split, terrifying second that he was about to die a fiery death. Sunlight suddenly filled the room, bright enough for Astarion to tightly shut his eyes.

Then...nothing. No burning, no pain, nothing but the sounds of you both breathing.

That didn't-how was he-what did you just do?

Astarion stared at you, absolutely flabbergasted with his mouth hanging open, staring at the borrowed daylight like a simpleton, "But how?"

You were still grinning ear to ear, looking happier than Astarion had ever seen you before. You grasped his hands in yours, your smile gentle as you explained, "I told you. We were blessed. Our Lady of Silver gave me one gift, and this is what I choose."

If sunlight wasn't already staring him in the face, Astarion would never believe it. But here he was, alive and standing under it's warmth. A gift from a goddess, spent on him of all creatures.

"It can't fix everything," You clarified with the slightest frown, "But it can fix this."

He could feel the truth in your words. He was still... wrong. A creature born of something awful, doomed to eternity and a life of bloodlust. But part of that wrongness had been culled, curling up and dying from Selune's holy magic, from your enduring love.

It was a dream he never thought possible. One that he had accepted never having. But here he was, here you were, continuing to give him the impossible.

It was enough to bring tears to his eyes. Astarion reached up, cupping your face before confessing the truth he couldn't quell.

"I don't deserve you," He whispered, voice hoarse, "I'll never deserve you. Words can't express my thanks. You have given me everything, while I have nothing but myself to give in return. But it's always yours. Everything inside of me."

He meant every word, he always would. Until his last breath.

You shook your head, gentling cooing at him, "This is a time for celebration my love, not for doubt. You've earned this."

He hadn't. And he doubted you'd ever be able to convince him he had. But he'd still take it. Gladly.

"I love you," Astarion murmured, helpless to say anything else. He pressed his lips against yours, the gravity of his new life just starting to settle in his mind.

He was free, as free as he could ever hope for. You had achieved what Cazador could not, all without a hint of malice or horrifying sacrifice. But through kindness, love, and perseverance. You had already freed him once from his own mental shackles, his last remaining ties to the tyrant that made him.

And now you've done it again, saving him from at least a portion of the taint on his soul.

It was beautiful, wonderful, and Astarion would never waste a moment of it.

#astarion #astarion fic #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #spoilers #and that's how selune got herself a cult of 7000 vampiric spawn hoping for the same blessing #this is very fairytale romance #like mr. i'm not a fairytale prince is kind of acting like it here #or is he the saved princess?#up for debate #romance #very romantic #i think #fluff #very fluffy

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mrskokushibo · 1 year

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A Prayer for the Damned

Yoriichi x Fem!Reader one shot

NSFW I 18+ I MDNI I

Synopsis: Yoriichi is your best friend, but will your friendship survive the night? This is a story about transformations: of seasons, life and feelings. And Yoriichi is about to show you a side of him you never knew before.... Are you ready to worship the sun?

Warnings: Smut. Anal. Oral. Vaginal sex. Analingus. Fingering. Cockwarming. Slight size kink. MANGA SPOILER

Word count: 3908

Masterlist

Image source: wallpaperflare.com

This story was written as per the following request from the wonderful and talented ❤❤❤ @muzanswaifu:

Can I get a yorrichi smut bestie with a fem! reader?

And i really liked the tension from your last fic where koku was mad at reader so for this fic can you flip it and make reader mad at yorrichi for doing something negligent to her and hurting her feelings?

It doesnt have to be that prompt tho, any yorrichi smut will satisfy me ❤️❤️❤️ love u

As he was walking toward his friend’s house on the outskirts of town, Yoriichi could not help but contemplate the change in the air that his favourite season was slowly bringing about. There was always something special about autumn, something that resonated with his calm and thoughtful personality. Vegetation burst into fiery reds and warm oranges and yellows, all the shades of flame, as if to mark its inevitable transition into death and winter. An affirmation that there was no life without death, no rebirth into spring without going through the natural process. Just like the human soul. And tonight, the air was finally cool enough to absorb both the smell of withering nature as well as the fires carried from human dwellings, all blending into an intoxicating scent.

Normally all this would make him at ease, but tonight he was unable to enjoy any of it. His thoughts were occupied by something he never thought possible, a tragedy so unimaginable that one would think could only happen in tales told to children on dark winter nights. His beloved brother turned into a demon. His heart was full of sorrow and regret, he was on the verge of hating himself. There were ways of preventing what happened, so many choices- his choices, that led to this. He could have been firmer, but also more understanding with Michikatsu, not be foolish to trust that somehow, he didn't really harbour such jealousy toward Yoriichi after all. But how can you defy sibling love; because he loved his brother and he chose to believe that Michikatsu, somewhere deep under the layers of bitterness and spite, loved him too. Twins share a special bond after all.

He finally reached his destination, but before entering the house, he stopped and looked up at the sky. The moon was a bright crescent, with thin veils of smoke and clouds obscuring parts of it and giving it a reddish hue. The sky was shifting purple, the same purple that adorned Michikatsu’s clothes and that also was the colour of his eyes. Staring at the moon, Yoriichi could not help but think of the ancient legend of Tsukuyomi and Amaterasu, the gods of Sun and Moon, that were tied up in an endless battle.

'Is this what is going to become of us, brother?’

*****

Only a few candles illuminated the otherwise dark room, incense smoke, and cooking vapour swirled intertwined through the air as if performing an intricate dance. A small figure knelt in front of a shrine at the far end of the room.

You held your face in your hands, dried-up tears stinging your eyes and skin.

‘Ancestors, I pray to you, wherever he is, please look after him, look after his soul.’

You knew that he was now bound for hell…. if anyone ever managed to kill him. Michikatsu has always been the one you were attracted to, in contrast to his stoic brother, he was more open and livelier, his eyes always lit by a spark, a subtle disclosure of a fire hiding beneath the tamed and friendly surface. He smiled more than Yoriichi too. But the two of you were not friends, neither did you want friendship only…When he left his wife and children to join the corps, you explained his behaviour by him being forced into a loveless, arranged marriage. By the way, the family he left behind was well looked after, with the entire estate being written over to them, thus securing their and even their prospective descendants’ future. All these excuses for his misdeeds were now coming back at you with full force.

There was one other you blamed even more than yourself: Yoriichi. His lack of resolve and action, his indolence, was what led to this. You were convincing yourself of it. Your feelings were connected by a pendulum swinging between anger and grief. And how do you even grieve someone who is not dead, who is … undead…

Your thoughts were interrupted by shoji door sliding softly. It was Yoriichi. He slid the door closed just as gently as he opened it and walked towards you with floorboards creaking under the weight of his tall body. He stopped a few steps away from you so as not to disturb you in your prayers. It was Wednesday, the day of your weekly dinner together. You were close friends since childhood and he was one of the most reliable people you have ever met. Always patient and with a soft manner. But now, your fury was blinding you, almost undoing the bond the two of you shared. You slowly stood up and turned around to face him, using all your willpower to restrain yourself from lashing out at him.

‘Are you all right (y/n)?’ he asked in his deep hushed voice.

‘I do not know, I really don’t know, Yori. Are you?’

He looked away without answering. The flickering of candlelight reflected in his nearly expressionless maroon eyes. You walked around him toward the firepit to check on the food that was simmering gently over the comforting heat.

‘I am sorry, but dinner will be very simple tonight. I just did not have the energy to make anything elaborate.’

‘That is perfectly fine (y/n). You know I am not fussy, and besides, you were very busy recently.’

*Very busy recently* what the hell *why is he dancing around the topic like this? * you thought, your aggression going up a notch.

In silence, you started plating the food. You passed him the plates and cutlery and he placed them on the table.

‘Would you like something stronger to drink? I know I do’ you asked.

He nodded in approval and sat down on the tatami in front of his plate. You grabbed the bottle of rice wine, and two cups and followed suit. You both ate in silence while you kept on filling up your cups with the strong drink. Due to his sheer size and muscle mass, the alcohol had very little effect on him, but you were getting drunk. Well, not the type of losing all control drunk, but drunk enough to no longer care to have restraint.

After dinner, he insisted to clean up while you sat with the drink in your hand. The alcohol was making your brain fog up. You even caught yourself watching him in a way you normally would not watch a friend. He was a man after all, and a gorgeous one at that, with the same perfectly symmetrical facial features and the tall and muscular body as Michi. And yet so different. Despite his stoic behaviour and calm eyes, his aura was like fire, the red mark on his face, maroon eyes and black hair with flame-red highlights, and his clothes to match. A warmth started to spread down your belly. You had to suppress this, it was so wrong to lust for a friend, and for someone that you now were so cross with. The mixture of embarrassment and anger was explosive enough to make you leap up to him suddenly.

‘How can you be so unmoved by it all? Are you not human? It is your fault he turned into a demon. You could have prevented this from happening, but of course, you did not. It would disturb your sacred peace, Gods forbid’. You were now beyond caring and were ready to say anything that came to your mind.

‘(Y/n), please stop. Not tonight. I am just as moved by this as you are. Believe me, but I think we should sleep on it and talk tomorrow when you are more, well, reasonable.’

He was now just about to walk away, presenting you with the silent treatment that you by now were familiar with being his irritating way of handling or rather avoiding conflict and confrontation.

This was the last drop you needed to push you over the edge. You lunged forward to slap him in the face, but you did not even manage to swing halfway when his reflexes kicked in and he caught your hand, firmly but gently. You lost your balance and fell forward, the stopping point being Yoriichi. You literally fell into his chest and instead of pulling away, you stayed there, as if paralysed. This was the first time you ever had such close physical contact with him. Due to his reserved manner you never even exchanged so much as a hug. Being this close now made you realise the enormous size difference between you two. His stature was imposing, solid with broad shoulders and strong hips. You could not help but imagine what it would feel like to have him doing things to you…

The intoxication was making you weak, you really could not move away now, or maybe subconsciously, you simply didn’t want to. Being so close to him, his warmth and smell started to bring memories of Michi and you just wanted to stay like this a while longer imagining it was him instead. Yoriichi’s hips were on the level of your belly, the bulge in his hakama growing from the close contact. And that is where you snapped. Why be so decent and proper when you were pent up with anger, an unfulfilled desire for Michi, and whatever else that was driving you crazy? All these emotions went straight to your sex. You started rubbing his hardening cock through the fabric of his hakama and went down on your knees to start taking it off him, yanking unkindly on the belts holding it up.

All that time Yoriichi was completely still, shocked at your willingness to change things so recklessly between you, what he thought was a beautiful friendship. When you went down on your knees, he could not help himself anymore. He grabbed your head between his hands and tilted it so that he could look you in the eye.

‘Stop! This is not the way I want to fu…´He whispered embarrassed with what he was just about to say.

Yes, he desired you for a while now, but he respected you too much to ever entertain the idea. Tonight though, your anger, the alcohol, and the oppressive atmosphere of this autumn night created a chain reaction impossible to stop. He helped you up and took your hand, the look in his eyes changed.

‘Come’ he said quietly, his deep soft voice sounding with a promise of something you never imagined would happen. You followed him to the bedroom.

Well in the bedroom he stopped just next to the futon and leaned down to you and slowly started kissing you. He was gentle, the kisses like a flutter of butterfly wings, continuing down your neck and chest, he was now on his knees opening your kimono and continuing to kiss down your breasts and then your belly. He did not even touch your erect nipples or aching groin yet, but you were already overflowing with need. Your clothes fell to the ground while he resorted to sitting down to get comfortable access between your legs. He kissed your folds while caressing your back and buttocks. And that is when he suddenly parted the soft flesh of your labia and started licking you between them. Simultaneously, he reached up to your breasts and started to slowly roll one of your nipples between his fingers. A loud moan left your lips, your pussy leaking onto his tongue.

You started tugging at his kimono, desperate to see his naked torso. He complied and soon you were able to finally admire him in the privacy of your own home. And it was a sight for sore eyes… You were sliding your hands across his torso, feeling the broad neck and the hard triangle of his shoulders, his bulky biceps, toned pecs and abs, and the perfect triangle running down to his groin. Your insatiable hunger for his magnificent body was growing by the minute and you craved to see what was hiding in his hakama. You had an idea from when you stumbled into him, but still. You needed to see it, touch it, feel it inside you.

Sitting in front of you like this was not the most comfortable of positions, so he directed you slowly to the futon until you were laying down with his head between your legs. He was rubbing you up and down your inner thighs and pushing your legs toward your torso to grant himself better access to you, until he was comfortably positioned to focus on diving into your sex. Tongue tracing up and down, lapping up our slick. He alternated licking with sucking on your clit, just lightly at first to get you used to it, but eventually harder and harder as your arousal intensified. It was as if he could read your body, and most likely he could, possessing extraordinary senses and access to the transparent world. Your moans pointed him in the direction of the most efficient moves. You could feel his warm breath on your cunt and you were slowly losing yourself.

You started bucking your hips to rub yourself on his mouth, but strong hands stopped you and pushed your hips down, instead, he started copying your movement by using his tongue. He was licking in circles around your clit, faster and faster and faster, with increasing pressure on the swollen nerve bundle. His fingers were deep in your pussy, rubbing firmly on your g-spot. And then you felt the indescribable pleasure of a finger tracing around your asshole. A throaty moan left your mouth, this was so dirty. He rubbed harder around your rear entrance while thrusting his fingers into your sopping pussy and running circles with his tongue around your clit. All through this he was basically completely silent, only releasing a heavy sigh now and then. Occasionally, he would lift his gaze to meet yours.

With every lick of his tongue around your sensitive bud, the knot in your belly was being wound up tighter and tighter. All of a sudden, he inserted a finger into your asshole, adding to your already intense pleasure. You were now losing all control of yourself. The knot finally burst and you squirted your juices all over his face in the most intense orgasm you have ever experienced. Your legs were shaking from the overstimulation as he kept on tracing circles around your clit. Eventually, he took mercy on you and stopped, wiping your cum from his face with his forearm. His narrowed eyes looked up at you and in the faint light of the candle, the red pupils had almost an intensity of a demonic gaze.

Without losing eye contact, he started removing his hakama. You swallowed when his cock sprang out freely. It was huge, long, and thick, with a slight curve, pale on the shaft with a bright red tip, and it looked like it had some weight to it, not surprisingly since he was so tall and solid. In the hazy state, you were in, the words that left your mouth came out almost automatically.

‘Yori, fuck my ass...’

You knew this would hurt, but right now, physical pain was all you wanted, all you needed to numb the inner fury that was ravaging you. He did not say anything in response. His eyes narrowed a little, but he knew you well enough to see when you meant business, and he was about to respect your wish.

So just like that, he got up and said ‘I will only be a second.’ And quickly left the room.

You could hear him rummage through the pantry and a few moments later he was back with a bottle of oil. Your pelvic muscles contracted in renewed arousal. So, he was up for it… You turned around and lay down on your stomach. He climbed on the bed and placed himself between your legs. His hands massaging your ass and spreading your buttocks, you could hear him open the bottle and soon oil was running down your lower back and onto your soft cheeks. With determined movement, he was spreading the oil all over your ass, fingers circling closer and closer to your asshole, his mouth kissing and tongue licking around the sensitive opening. Oiled finger started to claim entry to your puckering hole, first one, then two, then three, and finally you could feel the tip of his cock starting to push against the opening. He was going slowly, with excessive amounts of oil as a lubricant, sliding in his cock into you, for what it felt like a very long time. You were squirming in pleasure at the new sensation.

When he finally bottomed out, he stopped.

‘Are you ready?’

You nodded in reply. He then began to pump his cock inside you. The pace was extremely slow at the start, but once he felt you relaxed, he started to pump harder and faster. His movements were steady and precise.

‘Come inside me’ your voice almost commanding.

You wanted to be sore, you wanted the rush of this. He shifted to hover straight over the top of you, his whole body in plank position, supported on his powerful arms, hammering his cock from straight above you. You could hear his breath speed up and sweat drops now falling on your back. His hips hitting your soft butt cheeks emitted a quiet slapping sound. A strong thrust later and he emptied the content of his balls into your ass. His after spasm made his whole body shake and he pulled out gently out of you.

‘Wait here, I need to clean myself up, I will bring some towels for you too.’ When he was ready, he came back with a damp hot towel and cleaned your still pulsing hole.

He then slumped on his back next to you. You turned around to your side to face him. You could not stop feasting your eyes on the sight that was in front of you. The smooth skin stretched so perfectly over his strong muscles, now all covered with small droplets of sweat, his long mane spread out around him. You were getting addicted to this, you understood now why women behaved so awkwardly around him, giving him hungry looks that he never reciprocated. Were you blind all that time? Well, I guess back then you foolishly convinced yourself that Michi was the one for you, and well, they were so alike, being twins. But now, you were realising that appearance alone was not all that made Yoriichi so intoxicating to you. His inner fire, so well hidden away, was hotter than anything that Michi ever possessed.

You were growing wild, cautiously you crept closer to him and cuddled up to his side, slowly embracing his chest with your arm. You then started to massage his chest, your hand slowly sliding down toward his groin. You were now massaging his large hips, avoiding his cock for now, teasing, mostly yourself as all you wanted was to grab hold of his delicious cock. He closed his eyes, enjoying the treatment you were gifting him. You ran out of patience with yourself and started stroking his cock. You grabbed it, pumping up and down the entire thick length. You then got up on all four and started to lick his veiny shaft. You could finally taste him and the salty precum was making you delirious, heat spreading in your stomach, increasing the ache you felt deep in your cunt.

As your arousal was getting stronger again, you were faced with a dilemma. On one hand, you really wanted him to come in your mouth, but at the same time, you were desperate for your own release. You sensed that one more orgasm could make him drained, as emotionally exhausted as he must have been after the week’s events. What if his rebound time got too long or he was not even willing to go again? No, you decided to fulfill your own needs, the first orgasm coming from your clit only, you needed a deeper sensation, you needed to be shaken out of the haze, and clear your thoughts.

You sucked his cock for a little while longer, swallowing it all the way to the hilt, your tongue drawing small circles on the sensitive tip. Yoriichi was moaning quietly, with his deep voice turning hoarse every time you sunk your head on his length. With a last lewd lick to the veiny underside, you shifted yourself and straddled him. Hovering your ass over his groin, you grabbed hold of his erect cock and started slowly lowering yourself on him, savouring the sensation of his generous member stretching every crevice and fold of your insides, making you feel fuller than you could ever imagine possible. He was now all the way to the balls in your throbbing pussy.

The look in his eyes was pure lust, the maroon now so dark under half-closed lids, that it almost made his pupils look black. You started riding him, your breasts bouncing, making him fixate his intense gaze on your soft mounds. His hands were now resting on your waist and soon he started to slide them all over you, feeling your back, and ass, and finally grabbed both of your breasts, squeezing them roughly, so they formed perfect circles with a delightful cleavage in between. You started to slowly reach the peaks of your ecstasy, you were slamming yourself harder and harder on his groin. As your movements intensified, he began pinching your nipples and that turned you into overdrive. Your walls clamping on him, his hands pinching both nipples, the relentless pace of your own hips, faster, harder, you were so close now.

Your climax came from deep inside your spasming cunt and you screamed. The sensation lasted long enough to make you almost pass out, trembling with aftershocks of the extreme pleasure you just experienced. The sheets under you were now soaked, you must have squirted all over him. While you were slumped on top of Yoriichi, he started working toward his own release. His strong hips were now bucking up into you, thrusting his cock deep into your slick-filled insides. Obscene, wet, and sloppy sounds of flesh pounding flesh, your moans and his heavy breathing were filling the room. You felt his cock swell inside you and you were soon filled with the warmth of his semen coating your clenching walls. Exhausted, covered with sweat and cum, his cock still inside you, you both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

*****

The first rays of the morning sun peeking through the window shine on the two lovers still sleeping in the same embrace they slumped into from the peaks of their climax. As the day wipes away the dark of night and the Sun outshines the Moon, so does love conquer fear and grief. This was heaven, him, the man you knew for so long and yet never knew well enough until last night. All thoughts of Michikatsu washed away now, it was only Yoriichi that mattered. If the two of you were forced to leave this place, then so be it. You were his if he wanted you to be. You understood that bathing in the rays of his warm aura and worshipping his body in return for the light, was something you could do for the rest of your days. You knew he was to become your everything. He was…

…. your Sun.

----------------------------------------------------------

As always, a big thank you to my peeps for providing daily inspiration:

@muzanswaifu @doumadono @muzansfangs @koku-shibou @kokusfluffyhair @dudeandduchess @ask-the-upper-moons @paintoreos @yoriichiitsugikuni @koyuki-the-flower @fuckkyourlife @nakimex @dahliamalfoy97 @chibi-koku @sunsblaze @angelltheninth @xxsabitoxx @ask-yoriichi @doumaslotus

Reblogs and feedback are welcome!!

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wormswurld · 4 months

Text

rewatched saltburn for the 5th time today so here are my rewatch thoughts! 🌟

- opening shot ollie is smoking a cigarette meaning that after all these years of felix being dead he still holds onto the habit felix bestowed upon him: smoking. (there will always be traces of felix catton throughout ollie’s life…)

- ollie saying how exhausted felix was cuz of how often he was chased and adored by ppl is literally just him projecting & being annoyed that felix wasn’t his from the beginning

- “but was i “in love” with him?” yes. yes you were. yes you are. yes.

- ollie looking like such a fucking nerd when arriving at oxford. like boy if you don’t take THAT DAMN SCARF OFF i swear to god

- ollie looks so good with glasses ughhhhhhh

- the way ollie says “meryside” 🤤

- i will never get over farleigh’s voice like it’s so perfect

- as much as i hate michael gavey i will always quote his “NFI me and you…not fucking invited” line

- ollie is rizzing the shit out of felix with his blue eyes during the bike scene and i’ll always respect him for that

- the way farleigh says “jägerbombs!” is so satisfying

- i love ollie’s slutty little chain he wears

- felix amica. felix amica. felix amica. felix amica. felix amica. felix amica.

- ollie & felix look so happy dancing together 😭

- felix having his hand on ollie’s thigh as he does eenie meanie makes my brain short circuit

- “was it awful?” my god felix really is like elspeth

- this modern love playing as ollie finds felix at the pub surrounded by all his friends and the lyrics that play are “what are you holding out for? what’s always in the way?” UGH.

- felix being the first person ollie sees when he comes out of the exams 😭😭😭

- felix could have so kissed ollie during the bridge confession scene

- duncan scaring the shit out of ollie when he first arrives at saltburn makes me laugh so much i love him

- the way the sunlight accentuates felix’s torso through his linen shirt makes my head spin

- felix definitely made ollie & him share a bathroom on purpose

- “darling you’re kind about everyone” NO HE IS NOT. FELIX IS NOT KIND.

- pamela’s jewelry is to die for

- “so i hope you didn’t pack anything scandalous” DO YOU WANT HIM TO FELIX?????

- ollie giving venetia his blanket under the guise of “oh you must be cold here’s this” is so funny because i know he did that on purpose due to him knowing how venetia feels about him

- i love how emerald made ollie having a big dick canon lmao

- all of them watching the ring is so cute

- ollie sleeping as him and felix lounge by the pool together 😭

- ollie eye fucking felix as he sucks on an ice pop is so real

- LOOOVE farleigh’s “dump him” shirt

- felix giggling as he has ollie on his knees drinking wine is so cute

- the way ollie inhales shakily as he watches felix get off is so 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

- i absolutely love how eager ollie is when he licks felix’s cum from the drain like ohhhhhhhhhh…..

- also ollie softly moaning as he does it my god sedate me

- i will never get over how ollie practically puts his whole fist in venetia’s mouth + smears the blood all over her mouth and chest

- farleigh playing fuck, chuck, or marry with the kings is literally just an opportunity for him to tell oliver he would fuck him + to also read ollie as an insecure parasite that only lives for getting what he wants & obviously ollie picks up on it

- ollie crying after felix scolds him about lying is so sad my god that boy was heartbroken

- farleigh telling ollie “try harder next time baby” is so hot FUCK

- the transition from ollie blowing out his candles to the song lonliness is probably one of the best transitions in media ever

- “i just need you to understand how much i fucking love you” MY HEART IS BREAKING.

- felix would so have kissed ollie in the maze if he wasn’t shoved away

- elspeth’s sob when she finds felix dead is one of the most earth shattering things i’ve ever heard especially accompanied with the swell of the orchestra it is absolutely gut wrenching

- the grave scene is so beautifully shot it makes me cry poor ollie just wanted to be close to his felix one more time

- seeing ollie dance naked around the house is just so freeing and !!!!!!

thats all my silly little commentary, thank you for reading my word vomit 🤗

#saltburn #saltburn posting #oliver quick #felix catton #cattonquick #felix x oliver #lgbtqia #wormswurld posts 🌟

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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 11 months

Text

The Secret Exchange Diary of the Beauty and the Tyrant (His POV)

These translations are not intended as a replacement for the game. Please support Cybird by buying their stories. Expect grammatical errors. Not 100% accurate.

CW: Slightly Suggestive

Emma: “Prince Silvio, would you like to exchange diaries?”

Silvio: “Ha?”

We were chillin’ out in bed after taking a bath together when Emma suddenly proposed an unexpected idea.

Emma: “We’ll show each other our diaries.”

Silvio: “Who would do something so embarrassing? I ain’t gonna do it.”

Emma: “You really think it’s embarrassing? Your voyage log is in a book, you know?”

Silvio: “Those two are different things. I won’t do it even if you ask me to.”

(Her head is really full of such fantasies.)

Emma: “Fine.”

Not expecting me to disagree, she easily backed down.

Emma: “Then, it’s okay if I send you my diary alone, right?”

Silvio: “What’s your goal here?”

Emma: “It’s a secret.”

(I don’t get it.)

I could tell she was up to something, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

(Never mind. If she’s satisfied with it, fine.)

Silvio: “You’re going to send it anyway, aren’t you? Fine, I'll go along with it.”

Emma: “Thank you!”

She giggled and hugged me around the waist.

(I don’t really get how women think.)

Just like what she said, from that day on, she really did send me her diary.

Today I holed up in the castle's library to learn about the history and transition of Benitoite.

I've always known that the country is famous for its sea and trade. However, it was Prince Silvio's voyages that gave Benitoite the edge over other countries.

He had three major voyages in the past.

All of them were his greatest achievements that had already been compiled in history books.

My fiancée was really cool. I couldn't help but fall in love with him even more as I read about him in history books.

But what he achieved so far was not limited to voyages.

I'd like to know everything about him.

I might fall in love with him each time and suddenly want to hug him, but I hope he forgives me then.

(........)

(How can you write something so cringy?)

After reading her diary during my break, I closed it, and for some reason, my face wouldn't stop blushing.

It was so embarrassing that I almost jumped into the water but resisted and just ruffled my hair.

(But what's in it for her by giving it to me?)

(It's not like she has anything special to tell me. If anything, it just makes me feel good.)

(This is like a love letter now. Ah, damn it.)

It was sickening as a trader to benefit from the diary alone because the principle in business is fair trade.

Receiving Emma’s diary alone wasn’t fair.

(If she's only giving this to make me write a diary, then that's quite impressive.)

She might be a sassy woman, but I didn’t think she would use this kind of tactic.

(No point dwelling on it. I just have to ask her.)

Silvio: “Why do you want to exchange diaries?”

As soon as I finished my official duties, I stormed into her room and blurted out these words.

She was apparently studying hard, with a stack of history books on her desk.

She widened her eyes at my sudden visit, but stopped writing.

Emma: “I heard a rumor that you might be going on a voyage soon.”

(You already heard about it, huh?)

It was just a minor voyage一one that would leave the castle empty for a few days. But despite knowing this, Emma didn’t look too happy.

Emma: “This is the first time I’m going to be separated from you here in Benitoite.”

Emma: "I know you often go sailing, and there'll be times when we won't be able to see each other in the future, so I thought if I wrote a diary, I'd miss you a little less."

Silvio: "I see..."

I ended up clutching my head and grunting.

(If that's the case, you should've said so from the start. Why can't you do something as cute as this?)

Silvio: "It wouldn't make sense if you were the only one writing the diary."

Emma: "That's not true."

Emma: "Just having my diary will make you remember me when you go on your voyage. Pretty wicked, huh?"

(What's so wicked about it, you idiot?)

I ruffled her hair messily in annoyance at her overwhelming cuteness.

Emma: "Are you mad?"

Silvio: "Why would I be mad?"

Emma: "Because it was pretty selfish."

Silvio: "*sigh* It's not even close to being selfish."

(To be honest, I was planning to take your diary without telling you.)

Emma: "Then why did you mess up my hair?"

Silvio: "I just feel like it."

Emma: "Don't mess it up just because you feel like it!"

Silvio: "Shut up. I'm in the mood for this."

Now that I'd heard the reason, I couldn't bring myself to be embarrassed.

As I continued to mess up Emma's hair, I remembered again that no Benitoite businessman should ever break the most basic and important principle.

(It ain't my style, though.)

(Tch, I guess I don't have a choice.)

A few nights later, I returned to my room after finishing my work and heard the sound of lively footsteps thumping from the corridor.

Emma: "Prince Silvio!"

Silvio: "!?”

The door swung open with a bang, and Emma jumped into my chest like a rabbit.

Without giving me a chance to react, she suddenly hugged me, causing my body to freeze in surprise.

Silvio: "How many times do I have to tell you not to startle me?"

Emma: "This is not the time for that!"

She moved away from me and held up a diary.

It was the diary I purposely left in her room when she wasn't there.

(I left it there because I couldn't stand to see it being read in front of me.)

Emma: "I didn't expect you to write it."

Emma: "The content一"

Silvio: "Don't say it! Don't say it out loud!"

Emma: "I can't?"

Silvio: "You can't, you idiot."

(I want to get the hell out of here right now.)

Anticipating this, she blocked my way.

Emma: "Then let me tell you what I think of一"

Silvio: "I don't want any feedback!"

Emma: "I'll only say one short phrase."

I tried to cut off her words, but she quickly covered my mouth.

(This bitch...)

Emma: "I love you!"

I gulped, and my heart thumped loudly in my chest as I saw her face up close, beaming with delight.

Silvio: "You're getting carried away."

Emma: "Of course, I'd get carried away if I read that. It was like a love letter一"

This time, I put my lips on hers and took the words I couldn't bear to hear.

Silvio: "Don't say anything else."

(I don't want to remember it.)

Every time she tried to speak, I kissed her lips and entwined my breath with hers.

I held her hips and felt a slight tremor in my palms as I deepened the exchange of our tongues.

(I won't let you say anything cheeky for a while.)

Just to be sure, I kissed her more deeply, and lewd wet noises echoed around the room.

I knew that if I did this, she'd be even more embarrassed than I was.

When I took everything away from her, Emma turned her teary eyes upward, her breath uneven.

Emma: "Are you embarrassed?"

Silvio: "So what if I am?"

Emma: "Nothing."

She only grinned and said nothing about what I did, which would normally make her blush and complain.

Silvio: "Are you sure you want to be smiling like that?"

(Is my diary really making you that happy?)

I pushed her against a nearby wall and put my knee between her legs.

When I forcefully shook her, I could see from her expression that her composure had vanished.

Emma: "W-What do you think you're doing!?"

Silvio: "If you humiliated me, it's only fair that you should be humiliated as well."

Emma: "Ngh…I didn't humiliate you."

Silvio: "You ain't convincing me."

I unbuttoned her blouse and forcefully pulled down her upper garments.

As I mercilessly squeezed her exposed breasts, she began to moan.

(I was trying to keep you quiet, but if you keep making that kind of face, I wouldn't be able to hold back either.)

I lifted her skirt and continued to stimulate her directly with my knee.

When I smirked at the faint wetness I felt through my clothes, she noticed and looked away, blushing.

Emma: "Did you really hate the diary so much?"

Silvio: "If I really didn't like it, I wouldn't have done it."

I let out a small laugh, and despite her becoming somewhat disheveled, she laughed as well.

Emma: "Then, please stay with me for a little longer."

Silvio: "Ha?"

Emma: "Is that a no?"

(.........)

There was no way I could resist her request, seeing how she carefully held the diary.

Silvio: "I'll go along with you as much as you want if this makes you that happy. Damn it."

Swearing, I hold Emma in my arms and lay her on the bed.

As I sank her into the bed, the diary slipped from her hands, its pages flipping open.

I'm off to the shipyard today for a meeting to discuss the new voyage.

I'd most likely be sailing in a few weeks at this rate.

I plan to return in a few days, but I kinda feel bad leaving you alone.

We'll use an unknown route this time, so the danger is uncertain. This is why I can't take you with me.

I'll be back as soon as I can because you seem to be more lonely than I thought.

As you know, I'm a businessman before I'm royalty.

I will probably go on less risky voyages as I take over the throne, but I don't intend to stop because Benitoite has made rapid progress by crossing rough seas and creating new trade routes.

My way of doing things is different from my old man's.

I may make you lonely and worried, but I will spoil you when I can be with you.

I'll keep up with the diary, and if there's anything else you want me to do, just let me know.

I'll even do a few outlandish things for you.

I can't help but fall in love with you, too, every single day.

Fin.

#ikemen prince #ikepri jp #ikepri spoilers #ikepri silvio #silvio ricci #ikepri #ikeprince jp

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absolutebuffoonery · 2 years

Text

PT 3 (including finale): I convinced my dad to watch merlin with me and here’s what he has to say

pt 1

pt 2

---

“They’re loving that.”

“I don’t even wanna know what they’re doing in there.”

-When Merlin and Arthur get caught in the net booby trap

Arthur, to Merlin: You’re the only friend I’ve got and I couldn’t bear to lose you.

Dad: *literally gasps and gapes at me in surprise*

Merlin: Really?

Arthur: Don’t be stupid.

Dad: *laughs hysterically*

*uther emerges from the veil*

“Wow, of all the dead people, he got the right guy”

“Was that a reference to fisting?” -the horseplay scene when Arthur threatens Merlin with his fist

“Okay that was pretty gay.”

(I don’t even remember what he was talking about here, but he was right)

“Arthur’s unconscious again, alert the media.”

“I really don’t know what to make of Mordred.”

(whenever he said something like this I had to hold in an earth-shattering screech)

“Okay, this son of a bitch has to die” -About Mordred, s5e12

“I am OBSESSED with her.” -about Gwen after she runs someone through with a sword in s5e12

(same)

Arthur: “Just... hold me.”

Dad: *just nods his head*

(I think he was simply acknowledging the queerness)

Arthur, during That scene in s5e13: I want to say something that I’ve never said to you before.

Dad: Ohh boy.

His thoughts after the finale (he wrote an Official Statement for his “tumblr fandom,” including the hashtags at the end):

Well, watching Merlin was a much more satisfying experience than when my kids made me watch Glee with them. Although it was difficult at first to accept the way they bent time to accommodate Merlin and Arthur being contemporaries, I got over it because they succeeded in creating a relationship between two boys-to-men who wouldn't normally exist in each other's worlds. In actual Arthur lore, Merlin is old and wizened long before Arthur is even born. In fact, you remember in an early episode when Gaius references magic being necessary for Uther and his queen to produce a son? Well, in Arthur lore, that magic was cast by Merlin, and Merlin was present during Arthur's childhood. But ok, let's give the BBC some breathing room because they did a good job showing the generational transition from the failings of toxic masculinity (Uther's reign) to the superhuman potential of unapologetic bromance (Arthur's reign). In fact, how many times did I furrow my brow when Uther did something stupid or said something weenie just because he thought he was being strong, but he was actually being...alone. When it was Arthur's turn to do something stupid or say something weenie, he had a posse of good bros by his side to prop him up.

Even in S5E3 when Arthur gets the opportunity to see the ghost of his father and be like, "Bruh, I miss you," Uther instead treats Arthur like shit and belittles him for not being a dick to his people. Respect through fear, I believe is what the ghost Uther was preaching. But that strategy was pretty much self-defeating, given that respect through fear got Uther prematurely dead. Luckily Arthur didn't give it too much thought and decided, "Yeah, nah, I'd rather hug my droogies and marry a servant woman and be respected for doing the right thing, so biyee douchebag." In fact I'm assuming the writers created this post-mortem meeting not as merely another display of magic, but as a tangible means of showing Arthur's wrestling match with his own conscience. Even the playful and boyish banter between Arthur and Merlin (and the way they gaze at each other adoringly) is an example of Arthur's determination to part with toxic masculinity, especially when he gives Merlin the opportunity to be right sometimes without getting his chainmail hoodie in a bunch.

This could absolutely be a lesson to voters the world over, who have the power to put real leaders in office but choose crusty old assholes instead of fresh, young minds and hearts. All the Uthers in the world are giving AOC and Sanna Marin shit for dancing. Can you believe we actually live in an era when our leaders get chided for dancing? For fucking dancing! Meanwhile AOC and Sanna Marin are attracting loyal followers in New York and Denmark, who would follow them to the ends of Camelot, while the same old self-serving ancient curmudgeons who keep getting elected are busy pulling Agravaine after Agravaine out of their bungholes. Perhaps I digress.

Their parting from lore that is a little less acceptable is what they chose to do with Lancelot. Love triangle with Gwen and Arthur, yes, but Lancelot's BBC fate was less than satisfying. There are many tellings of how Lancelot dies, both with and because of Gwen, but the BBC opted against putting Arthur's best knight at the roundtable through most of this series. How fascinating. And weird.

Anyway, the end: Avoiding spoilers, I'd say the series ended appropriately. My 20-year-old daughter is traumatized by the ending, but I know enough about Arthur lore to know that the end is appropriate and loyal to legend. Camelot enters a new era, Merlin finally gets the respect he deserves, and a strong woman rises to power (I hope she dances). Satisfying. My parting thought: Walking away from this series, I've discovered a new career aspiration. I don't need to be king of anything, but I really want a job that allows me to say, "Ready the men, we ride at first light" without getting bullied. I mean, that's just really damn cool.

Thanks for all of your comments and responses. It's been fun.

#Merlin #ArthurAndMerlinOTP #ToxicMasculinityVsBromance #ArthurWasPan #TristanAndIsoldSpinoff

#merlin #bbc merlin #bbc #colin morgan #bradley james #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #merthur #merlin x arthur #gwen pendragon #mordred

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sapphicbitch77 · 8 days

Note

I'm newer to fauxcest and uhm....I really wish I had a big sister to mold me. I struggle with gender stuff and a big sis to help force me into full feminine stuff would help.

I can't have anxiety about transitioning if big sis does it for me after all

Having a big sister to help you through transition is never a bad thing~

Maybe you're at the mall and she noticed you eyeing a cute outfit, one you could never get yourself to wear, one that feels so out of reach. Maybe she accidentally peaked at your computer screen while sitting in the same space. Tabs open full of questions if others felt they were girls all along too.

One day, you're in your room and parents aren't home. Big sis knocks on the door to your room and ask if she can come in, she says she has a gift for you. When you let her if she hands you a bag, and inside it is that very same outfit that you thought would look so pretty on you. She says she noticed you looking at it, she wants to help you put it on.

You deny it of course, boys can't be girls after all! She just laughs, softly and lovingly, because you both know that isn't true at all. She says to try at least, it couldn't hurt. You nod silently with a slight blush on your face.

You head to the closet to get undressed, but she stops you. She wants to help you change fully. Your face turns a to a burning red. You want to protest, saying it's weird to have her help that much, that it doesn't feel right to be seen naked. But you don't say anything, you just give a small nod.

She pulls your shirt up and over your head, helps you take off your pants. Her gaze, soft and gentle, feels like dazzling warmth on your skin. Once you've been stripped bare she helps you put on a cute pair of panties. She slides them up your legs, the touch of her hang against your skin sends little waves of joy through your system. A matching bra is next, she puts in some silicone bra inserts to help round out the bra. It makes you all fuzzy as if something had just fallen into its right place.

She helps you into the outfit next, lifting your arms up and fussing with the fabric to make it look just right. After she's satisfied, she asks you to sit on the bed. She cups your chin in her hand, and asks you not to move. Your whole stomach fills with butterflies as she moves a brush towards your face. She doesn't take long to get your makeup done. She helps you off the bed and tells you to cover your eyes.

When she tells you to open them, you're standing in front of a mirror, and what looks back at you is the most gorgeous girl you've ever seen. Shes you. The most you that you've ever felt in a long time. Big sis is standing behind you, gently praising you.

You smile, a genuine smile. You don't think you've ever smiled so happily. You turn to your big sister and wrap your arms around her. Big sis has always been kind to you, more kind than people have ever been with you. Muffled joy and gratitude pass your lips and float in the air.

She lifts your chin to look into her eyes, her dazzling gorgeous eyes. Her smile is like the sun. It draws you in, making you feel so warm and soft and loved. Her lips press against your forehead.

"You make a much cuter little sister."

She smiles.

The butterflies break out of your stomach. Your hand reaches for her collar and pulls. Her lips meet yours. She gasps a little, surprised, but not shocked. She leans in, reciprocating every little kiss. She's warm, she's so warm. Your lips break apart from each other. Both of your breathes are a bit heavier as your lips remain ajar.

Your voice betrays you. Your words come out faster than your thoughts. There are no other words you want to say.

"I love you big sis."

Big sis's face turns to a bright flush. She hugs you close and refuses to let go.

"I love you too, little sis."

There's no going back now, things have changed so much in such a short period of time. But that's okay. Because big sis is going to be here every step of the way. Now and forever onwards, you are two sisters in love.

She pulls you back for just a moment and gives you another kiss. And for an infinite moment, everything feels like it will be okay.

(Overly sincere and unrelated paragraph ahead) for those that are scared to transition, take a step out of your comfort zone. It's okay to transition, it's okay to be yourself, it's okay to be happy. You can do it, your big sister believes in you. You just have to take that first step. Be the person you know you are inside. I know you can do.

#fauxcest #yuricest #siscest #siscon #fauxc3st #t4t fauxcest #transfem #mtf trans

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jessybarnes · 2 years

Text

Untamed

Pairing: Bruce Banner x Reader

Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Tags: NSFW TITLE CARD, SMUT, angst, fluff, seducing, mentions of masturbation, mentions of using sex toys, lingerie, fingering (female receiving), cum eating, finger sucking, Bruce transitioning into the Hulk (not sure if this is a trigger, but I'm not taking chances), kissing (both Bruce and Hulk receiving), handjob (Hulk receiving… again Idk if this is a trigger but noting it anyway cause after some research I've learned that even his cum is green.), making out, biting, hickeys, fucking against a wall, choking, implied all night fucking, and I think that's it.

Word Count: 4,129

Beta and Title Card: Yours Truly

Written For: My amazing bestie and beta, Tiffany. <3

Being married to an Avenger had its perks. You got to live in Tony Stark's swanky tower, you had your own team of expertly trained bodyguards, and the best part of it all? You stole the heart of Bruce Banner. The two of you met under unfortunate circumstances, but it was still the best day of your life.

You'd been caught in the crossfire during one of their missions, a monster took you hostage to use as leverage for their escape. The thing had a knife held against your throat, threatening to kill you on the spot if any of the Avengers moved an inch. You looked into their helpless eyes. Captain America, Hawkeye, Thor, and Iron Man all stared helplessly back at you contemplating how they were going to save you.

In the distance, Natasha was holding her upturned palm to a furious Hulk. He was grunting and clenching his fists as she took a tentative step toward him.

"Hey, big guy. The sun's getting real low."

He trained his eyes on her, as his anger started to dissipate. Just before he was about to give in he heard you scream.

He snapped his head in your direction, a loud, angry roar shaking the surrounding buildings as he ran towards you. Cars, signs, sidewalk benches, nothing was safe from his wrath. It all happened so fast. One moment your captor was pressing the blade harder against your skin and the next you were in the Hulk's arms.

At first, you were startled, his big green eyes scanning your body as he held you in his large green hand. He was breathing heavily, his nostrils flaring, as he spoke.

"Hulk save you."

You smiled and were about to respond but Captain Rogers beat you to it.

"That's good, buddy," he set his shield down and slowly walked towards the two of you. "Why don't you put the lady down now, okay?"

The Hulk tightened his grip on your waist and snarled, "NO! Hulk keep pretty lady!"

Steve went to speak again, but you turned around to look at him.

"Wait. It's okay. Let me try something."

They all watched in wonder as you brought both of your hands to his face, your thumbs brushing his hard skin.

"Thank you for saving me," you smiled. "If it's okay, I'd like to meet Bruce too. He's a part of you, and in a way, he saved me as well."

He held you for a moment longer, taking time to mull over your request. Finally, he set you down on a nearby barrier and transitioned back into the well-known scientist.

You smiled as you recalled the fond memory. You and Bruce had been married for two years, and he made you the happiest woman in the world. Sure, it was difficult when he'd go on missions, but that wasn't what bothered you the most.

What you really wanted was for him to make love to you. Ever since the start of your relationship, all he'd ever done was kiss you. Sometimes he'd go as far as fingering you, but it never went further. He was terrified to do anything else because he didn't want the Hulk to accidentally hurt you. He'd never forgive himself if that happened, and he made you fully aware that being with him meant no sex.

You didn't have to have sex to be happy with him. It wasn't a deal breaker, but you couldn't help but want to feel him inside of you. God, you bet he made the prettiest sounds. You had plenty of toys to keep you satisfied, and you'd be lying if you said you hadn't made yourself come to the thought of him fucking you into oblivion.

Natasha and Wanda helped you try and seduce him a number of times, but that always ended with a heavy makeout session and a very, very aroused Bruce.

That's what the three of you were doing now. Planning yet another attempt in getting him to fuck you. You were dressed in short lacy lingerie, a pair of stockings with little black bows at the bottom, and your favorite pair of black pumps.

"I don't know about this, guys. What if someone sees me on the way down to his lab?"

Nat grinned and crossed her arms. "Don't worry about that. I've got it all taken care of. Steve and Bucky are out on a mission, Sam and Clint are in the gym doing their weird juice cleanse workout, and Thor's in Asgard. That only leaves Tony, Vision, and Rhodey to worry about. Wanda, you're taking Vis on a date, right?"

She nodded. "Yep! Typical dinner and a movie, but it'll be fun getting some fresh air."

Nat turned her gaze back to you and smiled. "That leaves the two iron wonders, which by the way, I've decided to take on a supply run."

You sighed, playing with a strand of your hair. "Okay, let's do this. Get me to the lab."

Surprisingly, you made it there without being seen by anyone. The girls gave you a little nudge toward the door before blowing kisses and waving goodbye. Once you were alone, you took a moment to watch Bruce through the glass.

He was concentrating on some new prototype, his teeth worrying his bottom lip as he silently worked. God, he was so beautiful without even trying.

Taking a deep breath, you opened the door and walked past the threshold. There was no going back now.

"Oh, hey honey! Is it already time fo-"

The words died on his tongue as soon as he looked at you. The test tube in his hand clattered to the floor, his mouth hanging open in shock.

"Y-Y/N…"

You smirked and sauntered towards him, slowly running your hands over his chest. "Hey, baby," you breathed. "I thought you could use a break."

He swallowed thickly and let out a shaky breath. "What um… what're you d-doing?"

You brought his hands to your hips, his fingers making the barely-there dress bunch up to reveal your ass. "Bruce, touch me…please."

He closed his eyes and moaned. "You know I can't. I-I can't risk hurting you, Y/N."

You brushed your knuckles against the stubble on his cheek and smiled. "You won't hurt me. I trust you...both of you."

You grabbed his right hand, "besides, feel how wet I am." He gently circled your clit, a desperate whine falling from your lips. "See baby? See what you do to me without even trying?"

Bruce gripped your waist tighter, his breathing becoming erratic as he slowly continued sliding his fingers between your folds. You were close, so close to cumming already. All the built-up sexual tension, seeing him like this, was almost too much.

Almost.

Just before the coil of arousal inside you snapped, he pulled away, his hands coming up to grab his hair. "Fuck, baby, I… I can't. He's too strong, and if I ever lost you because of him… god, I can't even think about it."

You hated seeing him distraught like this. Bruce was an amazing, kind, loving man who gave you the world. The Hulk may be destructive, but he was still gentle with you. He'd never once hurt you, and in your heart, you believed he would hold true to that promise even during times like this.

You pulled him back into your embrace and kissed him like it was the last time you'd ever get the chance. He sighed against your mouth, his tongue sliding against yours slow and sweet.

He eventually pulled away, still holding you close as he looked at you with hooded eyes. "Y/N, it takes all of my strength every day to hold myself back. I want to, god, do I want to, take you apart, make you come over and over again."

His fingers curled a strand of hair behind your ear and you bit your lip. "Baby, can you hear me out? I… I think I may have a solution for both of us."

He sighed. "Yeah, honey, go ahead."

You moved him to his chair, pushing his shoulder lightly so he'd sit down. His hands found purchase on your hips as you straddled his lap.

"Bruce, I know you won't hurt me. I know the Hulk won't either because he's never shown any aggression towards me. Give me this, try for me, just this once. We can start slow and if you feel like you're going to lose it then we can stop. You have total control, baby." You kissed his lips softly. "Please?"

For a few seconds, he just looked at you. His brown eyes raked over your entire body. He swallowed, blowing a deep breath out of his nose as he held you a bit tighter.

"Okay. Okay, I'll try."

Your eyes widened, "thank you, baby. You have no idea how much this means to me."

He moved his calloused hand slowly up your thigh again, his fingertips tracing small circles on your clit. Your eyes rolled back, his darkening with unbridled lust.

"Fuck, Y/N, you're so pretty like this. Watching your body shake, those sweet little moans and whimpers, I swear I'm the luckiest man in the world."

You began moving your hips, the sounds of your wetness echoing in the small space around you. "Oh, Bruce… baby I- …please. Oh, please don't stop!"

He quickened his pace, the newly added pressure of his fingers causing you to fall forward and grasp onto his shirt. He groaned, low and deep, his breath hot on your neck as he kissed your sweat-slicked skin.

"C'mon, baby girl. Come for me. Show me how pretty you look." That was all you needed, his command sent you over the edge, his hand and your legs becoming coated with your release.

If Bruce wasn't holding you up, you'd have fallen to your knees. He peppered sweet kisses along your jaw to your lips, rendering you breathless.

"Gorgeous. God, baby, you're breathtaking."

Words failed you but that didn't stop your wandering hands. They eagerly began undoing his pants trying desperately to feel more of him.

"Whoa, honey. Hey, hey, hey, slow down. I know you're eager, but we gotta go easy. I don't want him to hurt you, remember?" Reluctantly, you stopped, but then an idea popped into your head.

"Bruce? Can um… can I ask you a question?"

He pulled back, his thumbs brushing your upper arms, "you can ask me anything, Y/N."

You bit your lip and looked at the floor, suddenly nervous your request would end this whole thing before it even started. "Do you promise not to get mad at me?"

Bruce immediately wrapped his arms around you, "sweetheart, you're the only person I'm not angry around."

You blew out the breath you'd been holding and closed your eyes. "Can I talk to him?"

He stiffened. "Y/N, I-I don't think th-"

"Please. He won't hurt me, Bruce. He never has. Please, just… please."

Just when you thought he was going to shut this whole escapade down, he slowly stood up. "Promise me you'll run if he gets out of hand."

You nodded and watched as he closed his eyes, his skin, hair, nails, everything turning green while he doubled in size. At first, Hulk was confused. His big eyes look down at you with interest. He huffed and held his hand out for you to take it.

"Hey, big guy. Can you sit down for me against the wall over there? I wanna talk to you."

He tilted his head and haphazardly stomped to the opposite side of the room before plopping unceremoniously onto the floor making the lab equipment around you rattle.

"Thank you. May I sit on your lap?"

He looked up at you, his large hand gathering the thin material of your outfit between his fingers. "Y/N pretty. Hulk like clothes."

The corner of your mouth turned up into a crooked smirk. "Why thank you, honey. Can I sit down?" You gestured to his huge thigh and watched as he nodded.

You straddled your hips over one of his legs, because it was impossible to do both, and cupped his face.

"You know how much I love you and Bruce, right?"

He blinked, "yes, Hulk know that."

"Well, I'd like to show both of you how much I love you, but I want to make sure you're okay with everything first."

He waited, the fingers on his right hand holding your waist.

"I want to be with both of you, in a more…intimate way. I wanna make the two of you happy because I love both of you with all my heart."

A low grunt rumbled through his chest. "Hulk love Y/N. But what intimate?"

You scooted closer and smiled. "Can I kiss you?"

He nodded again, and you slowly leaned in, pressing your lips against his gently. At first, he didn't react, his whole body still except for his steady breathing, but then you felt him kiss back.

You pulled away to see his reaction and moaned when you saw the heat in his eyes.

"How was that, baby?"

His grip on your hips tightened a fraction. "Hulk want more."

You giggled and took his other hand. "I'll give you more, love, but first, I want you to feel how excited I am. You have to be careful with me though, okay?"

"Hulk no hurt Y/N. Hulk be gentle."

You curled his fingers into a fist, save for his middle one, and brought it to your soaked pussy. "Do you feel that? Feel how wet I am here?"

He slid his large digit back and forth, watching curiously as you bit your lip, and then pulled his hand back to look at his finger. "Yes, Hulk feel."

You maintained eye contact as you sucked and licked your arousal from his skin. "Do you wanna try?"

He wasted no time, a little more sure of himself as he collected more of your juices. He inhaled your scent, a low growl reverberating in his chest as he tasted you.

"Y/N good. Hulk need more."

You kissed the inside of his wrist and looked at him lovingly. "We can do more, but you really have to be careful, okay? Just one of your fingers is a lot for me to take, so you'll have to go slow."

He sighed softly and gathered a bit of your hair in his hand. "Hulk go slow. Always careful with Y/N."

You brought his hand between your legs again, but this time you guided his middle finger to your entrance. Bracing yourself, you sank down on him and whimpered from the slight stretch.

"Y/N okay?"

You licked your lips and let out a shaky breath, "yeah, baby. I'm fine. You feel so good."

Switching your position, you maneuvered yourself so your back was against his chest. He looked down at you, his free hand tilting your chin up.

"Hulk like when Y/N feel good."

You pulled him down for a chaste kiss and spread your legs so they were draped over his big thighs, "carefully move your finger, okay? Slowly in and out."

As soon as you felt him pull out and push back in, a breathy moan fell from your lips. "Yeah, baby, just like that."

The sound of his soft grunts, the feeling of his toned muscles rippling against your skin, the way he brushed the sweet spot inside you, it was all so toe-curlingly good. Your second orgasm was building rapidly, making you whine desperately.

"Y/N feel wet. Hulk stop?"

You shook your head and moaned. "No, please don't stop. You're - oh, god! - gonna make me cum. D'you wanna see me do that, baby?"

He adjusted slightly, and suddenly you could feel his very large, very prominent erection pressing against your back.

"Yes. Hulk see Y/N"

You canted your hips upward, meeting every thrust. "Go a little faster and do this with your finger."

You crooked yours to show him and he obeyed immediately making you cry out. "Oh, my god! Yes, oh, right there… don't stop please baby I'm so close!"

He huffed and grabbed your hand with his free one.

"Oh, fuck baby…yeah, oh, shit! Gonna cum… gonna come oh my g-FUCK!"

You squeezed his hand, your whole body convulsing as your walls fluttered around him repeatedly. He pulled out of you and examined his finger as you recovered from your moment of bliss.

"Hulk do good?"

You turned around in his arms and kissed him again. "You did, baby. Thank you. Can I make you feel good now too?"

You let your fingertips ghost over the large tent in his shorts and watched as he closed his eyes and growled. The noise alone would scare anyone away, but not you. You knew he'd never harm you.

"Yes. Hulk feel good too."

Carefully, you freed him from his shorts, marveling at his impressive length and girth. "You're so big, baby. Being so good for me." He watched you spit in your hands and snarled when you began to stroke him.

"Is this okay, love? Does this hurt?"

He threw his head back and panted. "No hurt. Feel good."

You smirked and began twisting your hands as they slid over the shiny green head.

"Remember, honey. Try not to hurt me, okay? I know it feels good, but when you cum you gotta try and stay still for me, alright?"

He gritted his teeth and brought a big hand to your cheek. "Hulk never hurt Y/N. Promise." He let out another choked cry. "Hulk feel funny...here." he pointed to his lower abdomen and you kissed his lips sweetly.

"That's good, baby. It means you're close. Just lean back and close your eyes for me. Let me make you feel good."

He listened and you watched his chest heave and his fists clench.

"That's it. C'mon. Show me, sweetheart."

A few more strokes were all it took, a loud guttural roar filling the lab as thick ropes of cum coated your hands and his chest.

He stayed like that, panting and twitching, while you looked for a towel to clean him up. Grabbing one of the extra lab coats, you knelt in front of him again and planted a sweet kiss on his forehead.

"You're incredible, baby. I'm so proud of you. Bruce will be too. I knew you'd never hurt me."

He rubbed your sides affectionately as you cleaned him and your hands up. "No way hurt Y/N. Hulk love you."

You kissed his lips. "And I love you, baby. Can I see Bruce now? I wanna tell him how proud of you I am."

He gave you one final smile and closed his eyes, his body slowly becoming smaller until a sweaty Bruce lay slumped against the wall.

He blinked a few times before he frantically ran his hands over you, looking for any sign of injury.

"Bruce, hey, calm down." You laced the fingers on both your hands with his and looked into his worried brown eyes. "I'm fine. He didn't hurt me, okay? In fact," you held up the lab coat that was now covered in sticky green liquid. "Things went more than okay."

He looked from you to the coat a few times before crashing his lips to yours. His kiss was possessive, nowhere near gentle as he explored your mouth eagerly.

"You were right, baby. I shouldn't have doubted you, but I was just so scared. I can't ever lose you."

You sat back on your haunches and grinned. "I know, honey. We can talk this over later, but right now I need you inside me."

Bruce stood and pulled you to your feet, immediately pushing you against the wall. "You're perfect. Absolutely perfect, Y/N. I love you so damn much."

He kissed, nipped, and licked at your neck, littering a trail of purple-ish marks anywhere he could reach.

"Fuck, Bruce…"

He hummed and tore the front of your lacy top down the middle. "You're so beautiful, sweetheart. Smooth skin, perfect body, gorgeous face, amazing personality, you're an absolute work of art. I'm so lucky to call you mine. 'M gonna fuck you over and over again until you beg me to stop."

A needy whine filled the small space between the two of you, your hands fisting in his hair. "Please! Please…want you so bad!"

He spun you around, pressing you against the wall as he undid his pants, kicking them off to the side. "Spread your legs, princess. That's it, brace yourself against the wall too."

You did what he asked and sucked in a sharp breath when he hooked your left leg over his thigh and pressed the head of his cock against your slick hole. "Don't you dare be quiet, you hear me, Y/N? I want every single person in this tower to know you're mine."

Your response died on your tongue as he slammed into you, setting a steady pace.

You couldn't stay quiet even if you wanted to. Nothing compared to the way his cock made you feel. No toy, no vibrator, not even your fingers felt this good.

"Oh, Bruce! Oh, my fucking god!"

His left arm hugged your middle holding you up while his right wrapped around your throat, squeezing deliciously. "Good girl. Love hearing you scream for me. God, your pussy feels so good, warm and wet around my cock, pulling me in every time I slide home."

You clenched around him and he bit your shoulder. "Fuck! I gotta fill you up, baby. 'M sorry, but I'm not gonna last when you feel this good."

Your left hand began rubbing your clit in time with his thrusts. "'S okay, Bruce… I-I'm close too. Feels - oh, fuck! Oh, my god! - s-so good!"

He was relentless now, the delicious drag of his cock against your walls was hard and fast. "Oh, fuck! That's it, princess. Yeah, that's right, squeeze me just like that. Come on, Y/N…let go with me."

His words were like a trigger, your third orgasm shooting through you like a bullet as he stilled inside you.

The two of you didn't move for a few minutes, the labored sounds of your breathing the only sound around you. Finally, he pulled out and turned you to face him, his lips colliding with yours in a passionate kiss.

"Fuck, that was…that was amazing."

Bruce caressed your cheek and smiled fondly. "Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you for being patient with me and with him too. We wouldn't have made it this far without you, and we owe you everything."

You kissed him slowly, taking your time to feel him against you. "I love you, Bruce. I'll always help both of you with anything. You both complete me, in every way, and I can't imagine a life without you guys."

He held you close, his fingers sliding up your back and into your hair. He opened his mouth to respond, but F.R.I.D.A.Y. cut him off. "I'm terribly sorry to interrupt Mr. and Mrs. Banner, but Mr. Stark requests entrance to the lab."

Your eyes grew wide in fear of him seeing you naked. "Tell him to give us five minutes please, F.R.I.D.A.Y.."

"Of course, Mrs. Banner." Bruce threw you his clean lab coat, tossing the other one in the trash before pulling on his clothes.

"Let's take this upstairs, Y/N. I'm not even close to being done with you." He winked and a jolt of arousal shot straight to your core.

"As long as you promise not to go easy on me, baby," you smirked. He swatted your ass and walked past you to the door.

"Oh, princess, now that I know you're safe with me I've got so many plans to take you apart over and over again. You're gonna be putty in my hands when I'm done with you."

Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you looked at his hooded eyes. Literally and figuratively, you were fucked. That was just a bonus though because you had everything you wanted. Bruce was yours in every sense of the word.

Tony walked past you shaking his head, "there better not be a mess in there!"

You giggled and followed Bruce into the elevator. "No promises, Stark!"

Yeah, you thought to yourself, this is finally the start of our forever.

He glared at the closing metal doors, the sight of you and Bruce kissing being the last thing he saw. He smiled against your lips and you saw the happiness in his eyes.

#j snow writes #bruce banner #bruce banner x reader #bruce banner x you #bruce banner x y/n #hulk #the hulk #the incrediable hulk #hulk x reader #the hulk x reader #the incredible hulk x reader #bruce banner smut #bruce banner imagine

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golden-redhead · 2 years

Text

Incoherent, messy and out of order first spoilery thoughts on TUA season 3, let’s go!

Viktor’s transition was incorporated rather nicely in the show and it led to some really wholesome sibling moments that I will cherish forever

the actor playing Reggie is a delight and while the character is extremely unlikable, I love seeing him on screen. it really is a testament to how good the TUA casting is

I expected to dislike the whole Stan thing, but I actually found myself enjoying it? I think the humor and delivery of some of the lines was amazing and made it work even if I am not a huge fan of what became of Diego in the last 2 seasons

Lila and Five’s dynamic absolutely SLAYS! idk, they are such a pleasure to watch, all this easy banter and everything, I just find their whole chemistry very satisfying and it shows both in the show and in the interviews that the actors truly get these characters, what they’ve been through and how it affected this relationship in particular. honestly, some amazing performances from both of them

overall, I feel like the performances in general were what made this season actually good to watch. I have a lot of complaints about some of the lines, subplots and plot points in general, but I can’t deny that I simply love these characters and the way they are portrayed by the actors and even though I can’t say I’m happy with everything that happened, it was still a lot of fun to watch. again, casting of this show is absolutely unmatched!

I really wish some inconsistencies in Allison’s reasoning were fixed and I still don’t know how to feel about THAT scene with Luther... I mostly can’t believe that it not only made it into the season, but - more importantly - that it isn’t addressed later on... at all. it’s one thing to portray dysfunctional and grieving characters doing shitty and questionable things, it’s another to frame it... well, the way they did it this season.

that said, I enjoyed Allison’s arc a lot and Emmy Raver-Lampman is an amazing actress who was horribly underutilized until now, so I’m happy to see her have more defined role this season.

there’s something really interesting about the theme of losing one’s family in a show that’s so focused on family in general. I mean, usually when you grow up you begin making your own family unit with your spouse and children, so it’s interesting to see how Allison is torn between her obligation to her siblings, the family she didn’t choose, and the family she created as an adult. I know that we are more inclined to root for her relationship with other Umbrellas because they are the focus of the show, but it does make absolute sense for her to try to bring back the family she made for herself

I liked Klaus so much more this season and his scenes, especially those with other siblings, were really great! him bonding with Five was everything I wanted and didn’t even know. and it’s nice to finally tap into his issues with his powers instead of having him escape from them

Five being the Commission founder... I said in another post that I totally saw him being tied to the Commission’s existence in a more meaningful way coming because of how his powers operate in the same way the briefcases do, but I did not see THAT coming

on one hand, Sloane and Luther are a great example of insta love and everything wrong with it. on the other, though, it gave us some fun subplots and dynamics and if there’s one character that deserved to find peace and normalcy - it was Luther. I honestly need more time to form an opinion on it.

RIP Marcus and his potential, I guess...

Fei deserved better

Allison and Viktor’s fight in episode 7 was amazing, the tension was really palatable and dang, THIS is how you write characters fighting! the actual VENOM in Allison’s voice, just... such a great scene, I was so impressed with the acting

the amount of sudden deaths and betrayals was absolutely INSANE, the reviewers did not lie about that, holy shit

that moment when Five steps on his star, in the middle of the circle, connecting all of them? I don’t know what is it about that scene, but holy fuck, CHILLS

I might add more later once I collect my thoughts more, for now I’m a rambling, absolutely incoherent mess of emotions.

#the umbrella academy #tua spoilers #tua s3 spoilers #tua season three #spoilers #umbrella academy #five hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #diego hargreeves #luther hargreeves #lila pitts #reginald hargreeves #spoiler

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cursedvibes · 9 months

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Cursedvibes, what are your favorite Kenjin fanfics/art/comics or just what is your favorite JJK fanfics/art in general

I don't actually read that much jjk fanfiction and most of what I read isn't JinKen, but I still have a few faves I'd like to recommend.

theft of witness by iamsomebody One of the first jjk & Kenjaku fics I ever read and I absolutely loved it. It follows Kenjaku through their transition from Kaori to Geto and gives brief glimpses into their experiences. Partially inspired me to write my own stuff. I absolutely love the writing style and the confrontation scene between Kaorijaku and Wasuke is my favourite. Might be responsible for why I like their dynamic so much. Also, you should check out the art that's linked in the fic notes, it's one of my favourite.

死的静观 by Innersol Jin/Kamojaku, background Jin/Toji (don't ship it, but it also didn't bother me much), sort of a Gothic Modern AU It's in Chinese, but I think with a translator you can still follow very well what's happening and not too much of the prose is lost. Jin is a medical student in his 20s aiming for doctor and Kenjaku (Kamo Noritoshi) is financing his studies, eventually inviting him to live at their house to collaborate at times with their research. It's not specified what exactly Noritoshi does, but you find out that some Death Painting-esque experiment is going on in the background. Since this is a ship fic, Jin and Kenjaku eventually go from studying to fucking. It's not too heavy on the feelings, but Jin does get attached and curious about Kenjaku and over time the same happens to Kenjaku, with them developing a strong wish to have a child with Jin, eventhough that's physically impossible for them in this AU. There's also some brainfuckery going on at some point, Jin just can't keep his fingers to himself. Really love this one for the creepy vibe and because I'm just happy to see more of Kamojaku.

Innersol is also a great artist with some exceptional jjk fanart. You can find them here @karama08 and on Twitter

Complicity by SenZen_Travers My favourite MahiKen fic. Characterization is on point, the atmosphere is calm but also so intense at the same time. I always get a bit dizzy when reading it. The smut is really juicy too and feels natural (I'm always a bit bothered when Kenjaku is shown as overly dominant, and Mahito as this dainty submissive bottom. That's not the case here, they're just having a fun time together)

King's Ascent by Anonymous (registered users only) A SukUme fic with ace Uraume. It takes place during the Nara period and details Sukuna and Uraume's first meeting and how they grew to be partners. The world building here is really good with lots of details to flesh out the setting as well as the characters. Really well written too and the best SukUme fic I've read so far. It has 5 chapters so far, I'm really hoping the author will continue it at some point.

light of a new morning by flyfreebird (@urostakako on tumblr) A Tsumiki Lives AU, mainly revolving around Tsumiki and Yuuji bonding over their past trauma and relationship with Megumi. It's so well written, I want to insert it directly into my brain. Tsumiki's struggle of loving her brother, but also being angry at him for how ignorant he has been of her and her emotions all her life is so well depicted here, makes me wish it were canon. This is the Tsumiki I wanted to see. It feels so satisfying to read this after the disappointment I felt over how her character was handled in canon.

Kissing Strangers by magrealism_conspirology Jin/Kenjaku, fanart not fanfic but since it was posted on AO3 I thought it would make for a good transition to other artists Always love it when Jin interacts with Kenjaku's brain and the pose here makes it look especially good. Very tender, as if he's just giving them a kiss on the cheek (but juicier).

For fanart recommendation, I'm gonna shout out

@trung-roi Currently creating a lot of TenKen art that makes me go absolutely insane. Can also recommend him for Mahito and Sukuna/Uraume fans. His art always manages to make even gore look beautiful and enthralling. I particularly like this Pixiv album. It has a lot of my faves. Kenjaku and Tengen playing Mario, Kenjaku swallowing Tengen, them holding hands, Edo era meeting, Tengen holding Kenjaku's brain (I particularly like this surreal style here) and a Barbie meme.

Twitter Pixiv

Warlock1000 or 1000YEAH Already love this artist for drawing all incarnations of Kenny. I rarely see this much EdoKen and Kamojaku in one place. They also really nail Kenjaku's personality, from the grotesque to silly. Just can't emphasize enough how amazing their art is. You should really check them out. Also have a lot on Sukuna and Uraume.

Lofter weibo

(My two strongest arguments for why you should go check them out right now. I also wanted to give you a glimpse of their art here because I know weibo links in particular can sometimes be difficult to open from overseas or on the phone and I want to encourage you try to seek them out regardless)

reynis var emrace I recently recommended her Kaorijaku (& Geto) art, so here is my call again to give her some more attention. She does a lot of stsg stuff too. What drew me to her was intense gory art. And I mean real gore, guts hanging out and everything. Every time I look at her art, I feel like I can actually smell the blood. Especially for a character like Kenjaku that is very fitting. Not gonna lie, the art where Kenjaku is licking Gojo's ripped out eyeball inspired me quite a lot. I like this one a lot as well.

Most of her older stuff you can find on vk

planetsandmagic I think if you're looking around the fandom here, you will have inevitably come across them, but I still wanted to highlight them. They draw pretty much anything jjk and every piece looks fantastic. Their art often has this melancholic, dark and eery vibe I really like. Recently I fell absolutely in love with their TenKen art (predictable as I am).

Twitter

There are like a dozen more I can think of , plus individual art pieces, but I'm trying to contain it to a manageable list

#asks #jujutsu kaisen #kenjaku #itadori jin #mahito #uraume #fushiguro tsumiki #fic rec #art rec

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mrsaltieri-real · 11 months

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His Addiction

Mickey Altieri x fem!reader (Randy x fem!reader platonic/flirting)

Synopsis: Mickey is completely obsessed with you and his jealously is fueled when he sees you flirt innocently with Randy.

This is set about a year before the Windsor College murders and Mickey has just enrolled. He has not yet entered Sidney’s friendship group, Sidney and Derek are not dating yet and he doesn’t know Randy that well. Also, I know Nancy Loomis killed Randy but for plot reasons Mickey already plans on killing him.

Warning/s: Third person POV, slight language, stalking, talk of murder, Mickey has thought of killing reader, Mickey’s literally obsessed with you to the point it’s creepy but I want him like that I’m fucking obsessed with him, jealous!Mickey, mention of Mickey and Mrs Loomis’ plan, flirting between Randy and Reader.

He just loved watching her.

She was so effortlessly beautiful, it physically hurt him. He stood, camera in hand and pointing it directly at her from across the quad as she laughed, swiping some hair that fell across her face in the wind back into place.

He couldn’t help but smile as he watched her through the lens. She smiled at her friends before turning and walking away. Mickey didn’t miss a beat as he too began walking, his camera never leaving her.

Mickey had been watching her for some time. He didn’t mean to, but he found himself completely fascinated by her. He wanted to watch her all the time. He contemplated a few times sneaking into her dorm room and setting up a camera somewhere but he was worried that she or her roommate would find it and thought better of that idea. Next year she’d have her own place anyway, which would make it a lot easier for him, but by then he wouldn’t need to watch her or follow her, because he’d have her.

He’d have her if it was the last thing he ever did.

She stopped again, but this time in front of a boy Mickey recognised instantly from one of his film classes.

Randy fucking Meeks?

Mickey frowned as she laughed at something Randy said and watched with nothing but pure fury vibrating all the way through him to his very core as she affectionately placed a hand on his upper arm.

Well, this was going to make killing him a lot easier.

Mickey hadn’t yet infiltrated himself within Sidney Prescott’s small circle of friends. He didn’t want to seem too pushy and obvious and make them think he was up to something. He and Nancy Loomis had agreed to take it slow, make the transition of him introducing himself and becoming an important part of their lives more gradual. At first, watching she was nothing but a distraction for him. Something to keep him busy till the real fun started, but as the days turned into months he found himself becoming more and more fascinated with her and began to study her routine.

She’d wake up bright and early for her shift at the campus coffee shop every day, bar Tuesday’s and Sunday’s. He’d be there but never went to her for his order, he’d sit quietly at the farthest table away from her whilst carefully watching her till her shift ended and she attended her afternoon classes. She was majoring in psych, which is what her mom wanted her to take, but was deliberating switching to art design. He’d seen some of her work hung up in her dorm on the occasions he’d sneak in and swipe her underwear or something else small and insignificant that belonged to her and she was very talented.

Her work reminded him a lot of the kinds of films he enjoyed creating. It was oddly dark for such a bright, bubbly person. It only made him want her more. While she was there, grimly attending the psychology classes she so clearly didn’t want to be in, that’s when he got to work tracking Sidney, her roommate Hallie, and her other friend Derek and, of course, Randy fucking Meeks whose arm she was still fucking touching.

He thought of all the ways he’d kill her. He hadn’t decided if he wanted it to it fast and painless or drag it out, making it better and more satisfying for himself. But as time went on, even though she didn’t know him, he really got to know her.

He stole her schedule one morning while she was working and began to track her every move. He told himself he was just making sure she was safe but he knew what it really was.

He was becoming completely addicted to her. And he couldn’t kill his addiction anymore than he could satisfy it.

He heard her laugh at something Randy said, making him snap back to reality. He felt the red hot anger burn through his entire body, feeling it rip away at his chest as his fingers flexed around his camera, slightly harder than necessary, before he lowered it so he could really look at her just in time to watch her lean upward on her toes and gently peck Randy on his cheek.

He felt a growl rip through his chest like he was some kind of wild animal and two girls walking past him looked at him like he was insane. He ignored them and continued staring as he saw Randy blush a little before he walked away, a stupid smile on his face.

Mickey turned his attention toward her as she began to walk away, her eyes focused on the doors of the library a few feet away from her.

That settled it.

He was going to have her before Randy fucking Meeks could. She didn’t know it yet, but she belonged to him.

And he’d kill before anyone else could get in the way of that.

#mickey altieri #scream #scream 2 #mickey altieri x reader #mickey altieri x you #scream x yn #timothy olyphant

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zalrb · 11 months

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Sacrifice {SE Sired Fic}

I know there were a couple of requests to include a few things but this is already an extremely long fic and it’s JUST focused on the SE angst so...... but there are a couple of threads of things that might get a continuation if I write a second part. Hopefully it’s nothing but angsty goodness :)

They were sitting and entwined. Elena's legs were wrapped around Stefan, her hands holding his back, and his arms encircled her. Their flushed, sweat-slicked bodies were bare and pressed to each other, rising and falling together in unhurried, deliberate movements as their noses touched, their mouths opened against each other as they shared their gasps and moans, their breaths, as if they were one person.

Elena never wanted to close her eyes but found that she couldn't help it at times when he moved slow and deep and brought her a pleasure so intense she had no choice but to close her eyes to crest the feeling. He put his lips to her shoulder and she brought hers to his neck, kissing his skin when she felt the soft graze of his fangs that made her hold onto him even tighter. Even astride him like this, she ached for more of him and shuddered with the anticipation of him sinking into her and then ---

Elena woke up with a gasp and when she blinked in the unfamiliar surroundings of her motel room and realized Stefan wasn't beside her, that gasp shuddered out to a sob. She curled onto the bed, gripping the scratchy sheets, and heaved violently as the cries wracked her body.

She couldn't stand feeling like this. Like there was a slow tearing in her mind, in her very core that had yet to rip her completely apart. She never thought she'd feel this kind of pain again and she thought that it might kill her.

But she couldn't go back.

Staying away was the only way to keep her and Stefan alive.

ONE MONTH EARLIER

Rebekah cursed herself for her sentimentality. When Elena Gilbert was hauled into the cell across from her, she had relished the thought of watching her suffer a slow, excruciating death. What she hadn't considered was what it would be like to watch Stefan hear the woman he couldn't forget, the woman he'd protected with everything he had including his last shred of humanity slip away. She also hadn't considered what it would feel like to watch Elena struggle to hold onto life in the cell right next to the man she had risked so much for. Or maybe she had. In her mind, it was entertaining, a form of punishment so satisfying it would lessen the tragedy of her own demise. Instead watching them tugged at her, got at her. She couldn't help but be swayed by the sheer obviousness of their love for each other. It made her feel bad and hopeful at the same time; their intimacy filled her with a longing to experience that kind of devotion.

Stefan was saying, "I love you so much" and Elena had begun her confession: "Do you even know why I was on that bridge?"

Unexpected guilt had blossomed in Rebekah's chest. It shouldn't have mattered to her but it did. She'd thwarted their reunion.

"I was coming back for you, Stefan. I had to choose and I picked you because I love you."

It would be sickening if it weren't so sincere. Elena's body was weakening, her breathing becoming more and more laborious but Rebekah could see that even in the midst of a physical breakdown, she was at peace. Being next to Stefan, choosing Stefan had made her at peace.

"No matter what happens," she was saying. "It's the best choice I ever made."

Rebekah watched Stefan cry, watched as the urge to touch him made Elena place her hand against the brick wall between them. "God, it sucks that I can't see you right now."

Her own nagging urge to help them be together, to right the wrong of her interference became more and more insistent until she found herself signalling to Stefan that she would help him help Elena transition.

And she did.

The moment after Elena rubbed some of the guard's blood on her tongue, she felt different. More. She remembered how she felt only seconds ago but now those emotions were extremes; the mourning for her human life, her anger - rage - toward Rebekah, and her ... love. It was the strongest feeling of all, it was almost like it had depth and dimensions, like it was too intense, too big for any one person to contain. The truth of her decision to be with Stefan being the singular best choice she'd ever made in her life made her want to go to him immediately and love him with a dedication that would never make him doubt the magnitude of her feelings for him for even a second. But she could hear ... was that Matt? And Damon?

"It should've been you!"

The sound of bones crushing. Gurgling. No! Elena rushed out of the barn and pounced on Damon, pushing him off Matt, her rage bringing out her fangs and the veins on her face.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE."

Damon stared up at her for a second before he pushed her off him and got up in one, smooth motion then stormed off. She followed him, knowing Stefan would find Matt and take care of him. She could trust him to do that. She could trust him with anything.

Elena kept pace with Damon as he walked to his car. "You were going to kill him!"

"Yep," he said. "Guy just won't die."

They stopped walking and Elena stared at him incredulously. Looking at his irritated, unapologetic expression, it was as if something snapped into place, as if Elena was really seeing him clearly for the first time.

"It's my choice, Damon, why can't you see that?"

"It's a little hard to keep track of all your choices lately, Elena."

He was childish. Always so childish. "You asked me to choose so I did," she said firmly. "And I made the right choice."

Damon turned his head away, as if stricken but Elena continued. "Stefan wanted to save me first and I know what's happening is eating him alive. I can see it. But right now," she pointed toward the barn, "he's feeding Matt his blood, I can hear it. I can hear him tell him to live his life. Even though he’s frustrated, he’s telling Matt not to give up, to get up everyday and live, because he respects me, he respects life."

"No, I respect life," he spat. "I would've saved you in a heartbeat and you would've gotten to grow up and have the life that you wanted; the life that you deserved. And I know that I didn't use to get that but I do now and I wanted that for you, Elena, and I would have gladly have given it to you and let Matt die because I am that selfish. But you knew that already."

Elena shook her head at him, almost relieved in how pointless this all was. "I do know that. And I also know that you never got it and if you don’t get it now, you never will," she said. "I could never have had those things if Matt died. It would have never been the life I wanted without him alive. And you can’t think that far ahead to see that. Stefan can."

Damon narrowed his eyes at her. "Was it ever really a choice?" he asked. "Between him and me?"

Elena bit her lip. "No."

"Right."

She sighed then said softly, "You don't love me, Damon."

He glared at her. "Don't try to make yourself feel better."

"That's not what I'm doing." She made a soft exasperated noise. "Look at what you were about to do to one of my oldest friends. I chose to save his life and you were about to take it, you were about to spit in the face of my choice. You..." she shrugged. "You don't consider anything I want, you don't take my feelings into account, you just do whatever you want because you need me to be alive for you." Elena spoke calmly and simply, as if she were explaining something to a child, which only seemed to inflame Damon. "And I - I get it but ... that ..." She shook her head. "That isn't love, Damon, that's obsession. Like with Katherine."

"Screw you."

"Maybe you can't see it but I can now. Everything is so clear."

Damon rolled his eyes. "Spare me the newfound enlightenment, Elena.”

"You loved her for over a century, Damon, you carried her for over a hundred years, and then you came to town and ripped it apart for her, and she didn't care." Elena watched as the pain of the memory flitted across his face. “What did you do with all of that? Where did it all go?"

He ground his teeth together but didn’t answer, and walked away instead, leaving Elena to stand confidently in her choice.

After they watched the sun rise, Stefan and Elena went back into her room. The intention was to sleep but instead, they lay on her bed, facing one another, their eyes fixed to each other or else taking in the features of one another, communicating in silence. They twirled their fingers around each other, savouring the feel of their skin touching, of being able to do things like this again, of nothing standing in their way of being together.

It was as if Stefan was caressing the entirety of Elena’s body -- the sensation was overwhelming; she could feel the movement of his touch between her legs, and she ached to feel the power of him solid within her, to feel the magnitude of them; she hadn’t realized just how much she missed the love they made during their time apart. The pangs of desire she felt were so acute, she was lightheaded but the only desire stronger than her physical one was the desire to keep looking at him, to study him, bask in his gaze. He was there. With her. Again. Always.

They stayed that way for hours until they finally drifted to sleep.

Stefan spent the next two days, teaching Elena defence, teaching her how to hone into her hearing and how to block everything out, how to use compulsion. First, he’d had her watch him hunt for prey and then he suggested she try it on her own. She managed to catch a deer and feed and the act of harming it had overwhelmed her with guilt.

He wiped the blood from her mouth. “Hey,” he said quietly. “You did it. I know it’s hard, but you can do this.”

Teary-eyed, she nodded at his words, internalizing them, believing them entirely, almost like gospel she had to follow.

His certainty that she could get through this had become her certainty and had improved her mood significantly, allowing her to move on to the next part of his regimen: vamp speed.

It was not going well. In the best possible way.

“Just concentrate, OK?” Stefan put his hands on her waist but Elena started giggling.

“I can’t. All I can think about is your hands on my body.”

“Oh OK.”

Stefan took his hands away, and when she cried “No, no, I didn’t say to take them off!” he smirked at how the absence of his touch made her reach behind and put his hands back on her waist. Her honesty filled him with mischief.

“It feels good.”

He rested his head on her shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Mm-hmm.”

He started moving his hands over her arms, deliberately slow. This was, after all, a teachable moment. “What does it feel like?”

Elena inhaled -- he expected her to speak when he was doing that? But now she could tell him what she’d wanted to tell him the day before. “Like you’re touching every nerve of my body…”

Stefan pressed his lips against her ear. “Everything is heightened.” His voice was low and controlled and Elena wanted to jump out of her skin.

He liked that. He wanted to do this slow, wanted her to feel him everywhere, wanted her to bask in the pleasure he gave her until she couldn’t stand it and just had to have him right there.

“Taste, touch, sight, smell...”

He stopped talking and decided to show her, doing nothing more than kissing her neck and running his hand along her waist and her hip over and over to drive home what the simplest touch could do to her senses, spurred on by the way her breathing turned shallow, the way she swayed, rocking back into him. His restraint was a throbbing pain but he was too aroused by the way Elena responded to his touch to even consider ending his teasing.

Elena was dying. He was killing her slowly. Deliciously. She felt the grazing of his teeth on her neck and it sent her over the edge, she couldn’t take it anymore, she had to have him. Now. Right now. Elena succumbed to Stefan’s seduction a second before he was about to give in himself.

She turned around to kiss him and he was already lifting her onto him, using his speed and slamming her against the nearest tree, kissing her ferociously as she climbed off him.

Off. Everything needed to be off. Now. Stefan unzipped her sweater. Elena rid him of his shirt, kissing his chest. He brought his lips to hers, baring his teeth, the taste of her lips making him feral.

His voice was a growl. "Let's do this all day."

"Yes," she gasped. "God yes." She kissed him fervently. "Nothing will get in the way of this."

Stefan chuckled and Elena gripped his hips, pressing him into her and her enthusiasm made him greedy. He was fast, so fast, tearing off her sweater, pulling down her shirt and he was kissing her throat, her chest so that she gasped and held him, bringing him even closer, as close as she could, burying him in her bosom.

"I mean it," she said, lifting his head so she could hold either side of his face and look into his eyes. "I'll kill anything that gets in our way."

She leaned forward to keep kissing him but Stefan inched away from her, his face was flushed and his eyes were inquisitive and searched hers.

"What is it?" She was impatient for him.

He paused and swallowed hard then --- "Let's continue training."

Elena sighed, leaning her head back against the tree and groaned, whining. "No" -- Stefan brightened slightly -- "But I don't know, I guess you're right."

Stefan’s stomach dropped. He staggered backwards, his entire world collapsing around him, everything was off-kilter. God, what had he done? What was he doing?

“Stefan?”

Elena inched forward but every step she took toward him, he took a step back. “What is it?”

He cleared his throat. “"What do you want to do?"

Elena looked at him. “I don’t - I -you said we should train.”

“Yes, but what do you want to do? You, Elena?” There was a hint of frenzy in his tone, his expression.

She shook her head, confused. She wanted to feel him against her again. She wanted him close. "I just - I just want to be with you. I don’t care what it is, I don’t - if you want to train, let’s train. I just---”

Stefan didn’t know what to do with himself. He started to put his hands to his face then put them behind his head. “Something’s come up,” he said suddenly.

“What do you mean? We’ve been together this entire time.”

“I forgot I had to do something.”

Elena didn’t believe him. “Stefan.”

“I won’t be long,” said Stefan. “Don’t worry. I’ll drop you off at Caroline’s.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “Why Caroline’s?”

“I just think it’s best.”

“OK,” she said and furrowed her eyebrows when he winced after she agreed.

He started putting on his shirt. “You ready to go?”

“Brave of you,” said Klaus. “To walk right into the lion’s den.”

Stefan had rushed into the Mikaelson family mansion to find Klaus painting in the living room.

“I need to talk to you,” he said.

Klaus didn’t turn around to look at him. “I’m afraid your chatting privileges have been revoked in the wake of you and your idiotic friends trying to rid the world of me.”

“I’m not in the mood, Klaus.”

“I don’t remember asking.”

“It’s about Elena,” said Stefan.

Klaus scoffed. “Naturally.”

Stefan couldn’t bring himself to say the words but he didn’t need to. Klaus stopped painting.

“You think she’s sired.”

He stilled. “How did you know that?”

Klaus chuckled and turned back to his canvas. Stefan didn’t have time for this, he thought about rushing him.

“Klaus!”

“You know what I said to your brother when you were going through your recklessly stupid suicide mission when you were arrogant enough to go up against me? He told me you were crazy. I said whether or not that’s true, the kind of love you have for her never dies. Elena has that same devotion to you. I reckon that’s why Rebekah and her unbelievably inconvenience of a bleeding heart helped you save her. What do you think happens to that kind of love when someone is turned? It creates a link.”

Klaus said this like it was an inevitability, the most logical conclusion but Stefan couldn’t fathom any kind of reality in which he had Elena thralled to him, it was antithetical to everything he ever wanted and the thought of it alone made him ill.

“How do I break it?”

Klaus chuckled and shook his head. “Do I look like a witch?”

Stefan did rush forward, turning Klaus around and grabbing him by the throat. “Don’t bullshit me,” said Stefan fiercely.

Klaus smirked. “I knew there was still some ripper in you.”

“You are over a thousand years old, how do you not know this information?”

Klaus easily pried Stefan’s hand away from his throat. “Maybe because such information doesn’t exist.” He broke Stefan’s hand, making him cry out in pain and fall to his knees.

“There is no way to break the bond.”

“I don’t believe you!” he yelled, holding his healed but sore wrist.

“Oh, come on, Stefan, it’s not the end of the world. Free will is overrated.” Klaus knelt down next to him and smiled. “Weren’t things much easier for you when you were under my control? You wouldn’t be experiencing the pain you are now if you just left it that way.”

Stefan shook his head, a stubborn refusal to accept what he’d just heard. “I will find a way to break it.”

Klaus stood up and returned to his painting. “Ever the optimist, aren’t we, Ripper?”

Elena was on edge. Stefan told her not to worry so she was certain nothing happened to him but he still wasn’t with her and his absence made her uneasy. She couldn’t keep still. Caroline watched her fidget and tilted her head.

“Elena, I’m sure he’s OK.”

“I’m not worried about him.”

“Then why are you so anxious?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t -- I’m not worried about him, OK? I need you to know that, I’m not worried.”

Caroline furrowed her eyebrows. “OK I got it, you’re not worried.”

“Good.” She sighed and put hands to her head. “I just… I don’t know, I hate being apart from him. And I always have. But this is like, i’m---” Elena couldn’t find the right combination of words to express what she was feeling.

Caroline understood it to some extent. She remembered how it felt to turn, how the draw to certain people, one person in particular, was so strong it was uncontrollable. Reason had told her to stay away from Matt but neither things mattered against the power of what she felt. And yet this was something … more. Elena was on the verge of tears.

Suddenly, the door opened and Stefan walked into the living room.

“Stefan!”

Elena strode over and hugged him. Stefan’s arm was already outstretched to receive her -- it was an instinct he’d wished he’d quashed.

He looked at Caroline. “Sorry, do you think, um, do you think I could talk to Elena for a second?”

Caroline nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

She left the living room as Stefan gestured for Elena to sit back down on the couch. Elena was grinning. “You know she’s just going to eavesdrop.”

“Right,” he said with an awkward grin. Still, it was best to have the appearance of privacy. “Elena…” He just had to do it. “Elena, you’re sired to me.”

For a second she didn’t say anything. “What?”

“You turned with my blood in your system so…”

“No, wait, I don’t understand,” she said. “Caroline isn’t sired to Damon…”

Stefan nodded, anticipating the confusion. “Caroline didn’t love Damon as a human. You loved me,” he said flatly. “You love me.”

“What about Katherine and Damon then?”

Stefan shrugged. “I don’t know. Apparently this is a one in a million thing. Klaus said---”

“You went to Klaus with this? How could you trust him after everything he’s done?”

“Because he’s not wrong about this,” said Stefan, shaking his head. “I know he is. I’ve already seen the effects of it.”

“Stefan, you would never make me do something I didn’t want to do.”

“Not intentionally but you can’t live with this over your head.”

Elena nodded. “I agree.” She touched his arm. “So we’ll figure it out. We’ll find a way to break it.”

Stefan moved out of her hold. “Yeah, I will.”

Elena looked at him, at his drawn, emotionless face. To anyone else he would look distant and impassive but Elena could see the pain he tried to obscure. “What are you doing?” she asked, her voice hard.

“Elena…”

“What,” she said more forcefully. “Are you doing?”

He sighed and then looked at her, resigned. “You know it has to happen.”

Immediately understanding what he didn’t say, she shook her head. “No.”

“You know there’s no way I could ---”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

Stefan looked at her, all pretense of stoicism gone, his expression pleading. “It’s not for good,” he said.

Elena closed her eyes, gritting her teeth. She was at war with herself. One part of her knew that Stefan wasn’t breaking up with her, that he was only protecting her, protecting them, that he was doing what he always did, but another louder, much more urgent part of her panicked at the thought of them spending anymore time apart.

They’d already endured months away from one another and now that they found their way back to each other, admitted they’d never stopped loving one another, would always love one another, now that she’d been in his arms again, kissed him again, now that the hell of their separation was over, the thought of that being taken away for a second time was unimaginable. She couldn’t do it.

“How many times are you going to do this? You did this at the Mikaelson ball,” she said angrily. “You did this over the summer. You did it last year---”

“It’s just until I figure this out.”

“We will figure this out! I’m not just going to sit around and do nothing.”

Stefan cleared his throat. “OK so then you can see if Bonnie has any information and I will work it from my end and---”

“You’re missing the part where we do this together.”

Stefan took a deep breath. “Elena--”

She was shouting. “What did you think I meant when I said that it was me and you? Always? Always, Stefan, does that mean nothing to you?”

He looked at her sharply. It means everything to me. But he didn’t say it. Elena searched his eyes, waiting for a response and when he refused to give her one, she couldn’t help but start to cry, and everything in Stefan shifted.

He touched her face. "No, no, no, don’t cry,” he had said it without thinking but the second he did, Elena took a shuddering breath and stopped.

Stefan started shaking his head.“See? This is exactly why we can’t be around each other.”

Elena reached out to him. “It was a mistake--”

He stood up. “And how many more am I going to make? And you … are you even thinking about how you feel about all of this or is it just about me? Because I know you’re not OK with this but you’re so focused on me.”

“Don’t patronize me.”

“This can’t continue,” said Stefan.

“And it won’t! We’ll figure it out together. It’s what I want and I know it’s what you want too.”

“It’s not,” he said definitively. “It’s not what I want.”

Stefan almost faltered at the betrayal on Elena’s face.

“You’re lying,” she whispered.

“It’s not what I want,” he said again. “I mean it.”

He left and when he was sure he was out of earshot, fell apart.

Neither Stefan nor Elena slept much anymore and instead spent their days poring over research; Stefan drove around finding leads that turned out to be dead ends and Elena and Bonnie contacted witches who were either unresponsive or who didn’t know anything at all. Somehow, each day, Elena successfully fought off her urge to run over to the Salvatore Mansion and demand Stefan see her, demand they continue their conversation, demand he stop being an idiot and be with her, but she couldn’t quell the urge to communicate with him at all.

She would wrestle with herself, with the thought of whether or not Stefan wanted to hear from her but then end up texting him relentlessly even though he never replied.

Yet, Stefan thought, Elena always seemed to know when he reached his breaking point and couldn’t take ignoring her anymore, and that was when she’d call instead of text. He’d pick up and say nothing and she would remain silent on the other line and for the half hour or forty-five minutes or hour they were on the phone, they’d do nothing but listen to the silence of the other, able to glean just enough of what they needed from the type of quiet communicated over the phone, and then Stefan would eventually find the strength to hang up.

The phone calls were their own form of torturous comfort but the dreams were even crueller yet Elena didn’t know what she’d do without them. In the moments she did get to sleep, she always dreamt, and she was sure Stefan dreamt the same dreams at the exact same time. The dreams in which they were together and luxuriated in their reunion. In those dreams, he had her against that tree and didn’t stop. He unleashed the frenzy of his passion for her, angling her to plunge deep, to make her feel him everywhere so that she was gasping and sighing with the sensation of him hard and strong and so completely within her, his movements an indication of how much he’d missed her, how much he’d wanted her.

In those dreams, she had him pinned beneath her and gave him pleasure that dared him to ever leave her again, putting her hands atop his as he reached up and felt her, kneaded her, then she stifled his moans with her kiss as she swayed atop him, bared down on him, catching his pants and curses in her mouth, riding him until he begged her to stop and to keep going, grinding on top of him until he was spent and undone, until he vowed to never, ever leave her again.

She didn’t know how, but she just knew they were dreams they shared because those were the nights Stefan came to the house. She could hear him outside, hear his racing heartbeat, hear his ragged breathing. Knowing he was there, hearing evidence of his presence wired her body and made her clench her sheets and it took all of the self-control she had not to go to the window.

She knew the moment she left her bed would be the moment he’d leave the porch, not allowing either of them the tortured comfort of a glimpse of each other.

Going to Elena’s on the nights his body was not only aching but screaming for her was always a huge risk but Stefan couldn’t help himself. Those were the same nights he needed some sort of proximity to her otherwise it felt like the desire for her would kill him. He never went in and he’d never go in, not until this was all settled, but he’d look up at the window and remember the nights and the mornings he spent in that room, in that bed, under the sheets, holding her or entwined with her and the moment he felt his self-control ebb, he’d leave and deny himself the release of even a sighting of her.

Unfulfilled desire increased an already intense focus on finding answers. It drove them both to a feverish determination that obliterated everything else. But it also made it impossible to do anything for certain stretches throughout the day. Stefan could hear her moans; Elena could hear his panting; they could both hear each other’s soft declarations of ‘I love you’ ‘I’ve missed you’, and in their minds’ eye, see the pained ecstasy of a climax on the other’s face

they’d remember those moments from their actual unions, feel the frustration of the other’s absence all over again, a hundred times over, and Stefan could do nothing but sit entirely still as a storm of longing raged within him

while Elena would find herself breaking down from the unfairness of it all.

Caroline had witnessed a particularly volatile outburst after Bonnie left to meet Stefan to exchange some grimoires for some founders’ journals -- they were at a place of research where they figured they should each go over what the other had read in case they could find something the other missed. Jeremy decided to join her and didn’t feel comfortable leaving Elena alone so he asked Caroline to be there with her. At first Caroline was glad Elena was sleeping but then she woke up, looked around, and hit her dining room table in frustration, smashing it in half. Horrified at the extremity of her reaction, Caroline told her she needed to find a way to get a grip.

Elena was furious. “Don’t treat me like that, Caroline.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m pathetic and my whole world revolves around some guy.”

Caroline shook her head. “That’s not fair, I don’t think Stefan is just ‘some guy’. I know who he is to you. But I also know who you are to him and I know he wouldn’t want you doing this to yourself. It would kill him.”

“Getting rid of the sire bond also means getting rid of anything that can screw with my free will. Don’t you get how important that is?”

“I get that more than most,” said Caroline.

Elena saw Caroline’s eyes momentarily cloud with memories of Damon before she blinked away the remembered pain and immediately felt shitty.

“That was …” Elena shook her head. “I wasn’t thinking when I said that. I don’t even know what you went through or how you got through it. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” said Caroline.

Elena nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” said Caroline patiently. “And I know how overwhelming everything feels when you’re new, you never knew heartbreak could feel like this, I get it.”

“I just…” Elena pressed her quivering lips together, trying to keep herself from crying again. “I just want everything the way it’s supposed to be,” she said.

“I know.” Caroline hugged her and Elena started to cry.

When Bonnie walked into the Salvatore Mansion with Jeremy in tow, he knew it would be a difficult visit.

Jeremy looked pissed and he knew he wouldn’t grace him with the same kindness Caroline did whenever he’d see her. Caroline had taken over teaching Elena about vampirism and Stefan had given her pointers to help with the instruction, then he would ask about the progress of Elena’s hunting, of her speed and hearing, her use of compulsion. Caroline was kind enough to only report back the necessities and limit her opinions to nonverbal eyebrow raises or loaded nods. Jeremy did no such thing.

“So, what exactly is your plan because you know that this is killing her, right?” he said.

Stefan looked to Bonnie for help. “Is he right?” He knew the answer but he couldn’t think about it. If he did, he would lose focus, and focus was what he needed to end this all for good, and needed someone to help him keep his concentration.

Bonnie pulled a face. “Do you want me to lie?”

“Bonnie…” He said desperately.

She looked at him sympathetically but Jeremy shook his head. “I don’t know why you’re lying to yourself, you know it’s as bad as I’m saying.”

Bonnie shot Jeremy a look. “Jeremy…”

“Well it is! You know that it is!”

“Elena’s strong,” said Stefan.

Bonnie nodded the way Caroline would’ve.

“What?”

“Nothing, I’m just … I’ve stopped her from running into a burning building for you.”

“I’ve seen her jump into wells for you.”

“I---” Bonnie shook her head. “It’s not in Elena’s nature to stay away from you, Stefan.”

He didn’t say anything right away. His mind went back to one of their desire-tinged nights but this night had utterly wrecked him when he heard her crying in her room and the strength it took to wrest himself from her house had made him vomit before he broke down himself, bashing in the steering wheel of his car.

“I thought out of everyone you’d understand this,” he whispered.

“I do,” she said earnestly. “It’s the right thing.”

“Is it?” said Jeremy.

Bonnie and Stefan looked at him and Jeremy gesticulated, frustrated. “Don’t look at me like that. Sometimes the right thing isn’t actually the right thing. I’ve never seen her cry this much. Even with our parents, with Jenna, with Alaric, she - she, she goes numb but this? This is something else.”

Stefan cleared his throat to keep the emotion out of his voice. “Becoming a vampire heightens emotions and---”

“Don’t brush this off,” said Jeremy. “Don’t make this seem like another symptom of her turning. And it’s not the sire bond, this is her!”

“That’s not what I’m trying---”

“Take responsibility!”

“He is taking responsibility, Jer!”

Jeremy glared at her. “You would take his side,” he said before storming off.

Bonnie sighed, watching Jeremy leave and then looked back at Stefan. “He knows what you’re doing is the right thing. It’s just hard for him to see his sister in pain. It’s hard for all of us.”

“Elena in pain is not what I want,” said Stefan quietly.

Bonnie regarded him. “I know that,” she said, touching his arm. “I know this is just as hard for you and just as painful and just as lonely.” He looked at her to see something like understanding in her expression. “It’s even lonelier when you’re the one making the hard decision.”

He put his hand on top of Bonnie’s and squeezed, grateful for the sympathy.

“You’ll find a way,” she said. “Nothing ever stops you two, not for good.”

“Yo.” Stefan looked up from the mess of papers on his desk and caught the car keys Damon tossed at him as he walked into his bedroom. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Where?”

“Road trip. You’re driving.”

“Damon, if you’d been here, you’d know I don’t have the time---”

“Whoa, whoa,” he said, raising his hands. “Did you forget the agreement we made? She chose you, I left.”

“But you didn’t leave town,” said Stefan. “You’ve been here the entire time, you’ve just made yourself scarce.”

“And now I’m making myself un…scarce. Look, the drive is going to help with the sire bond.”

Stefan looked at him. “How?”

Damon shrugged. “There may be a witch in NOLA that may or may not know how to break the sire bond. I kinda bumped into her in the 40s.”

“Why would that happen?”

Damon sighed heavily and took his time speaking. “It had been suggested that I was sired to Katherine, I wanted to see if that was true.”

Stefan rushed forward and grabbed Damon by the shirt. “You mean you’ve had this information the entire time?”

“Yes,” said Damon.

“And you didn’t think to tell me?”

“Well, I thought about it and I was going to, but a part of me, the lesser part of course, enjoyed watching you struggle and then I realized I was being a dick and so now I’m here.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Elena is in hell right now, Damon. And you have information that could potentially end it?”

Damon’s expression turned ugly. “Maybe I wanted her to be as miserable as I was for a little bit. Not my proudest moment.”

Stefan stared at him incredulously. “How could you be so fucking childish?”

“Look, I’m doing the right thing now, OK? Because as much as I want to, when it comes to Elena, I can’t be selfish with her.”

“That’s all you’ve ever been!” Stefan yelled in his face. “The fact that you don’t see that is…”

“LOOK.” Damon pushed Stefan away. “Are you coming to NOLA or not?”

Stefan gritted his teeth.

Stefan was walking over to Bonnie’s. The words the witch Damon took him to, Nandi, had been ringing in his head nonstop, tearing and ripping him, pulling him apart: “You want her free? You have to set her free. Tell her to live her life without you and never think of you again, to stop caring about you, and then leave her. That's the only way around the sire bond.”

He had confronted Damon afterwards. “You knew this didn’t you?”

Damon shrugged, which meant yes.

“You’re a bastard, you know,” said Stefan.

“You wouldn’t have believed me if I told you myself,” he said. “You have to admire the irony, though. To break the sirebond, you have to invoke the sirebond? What oh what is Mr. It’s Your Choice going to do in this situation, I wonder.”

Stefan had then punched him repeatedly, unable to contain the anger that had been brewing in him since he’d revealed he’d had information about the sirebond the entire time.

But still, he needed to get a second opinion, needed to talk to Bonnie about the possibility that there was just something, something they were missing.

Bonnie had told him he could wait for her at her house, that she’d be there in around twenty minutes. He had just stepped into the foyer when the door opened again. He knew even before it opened, from the gait, the scent, the way she breathed, it wasn’t Bonnie.

“Bonnie, I found another one of the founders journals and maybe---?”

Stefan was going to speed away but it was too late, Elena had seen him. She was halfway through the door and Stefan was deeper in the foyer but their gaze, both anguished and relieved, was fixed to each other, charging the air around them with yearning.

Elena walked into the foyer fully, closing the door behind her, and it didn’t take long after that. They were in close proximity to one another for no more than a few moments and their bodies were already syncing to each other, their heartbeats had found the same rhythm, they were breathing in tandem.

His body was hard and sore for her and hers quaked and throbbed at the sight of him; the words they wanted to say but dared not to hung between them but the reality that they knew each other well enough to know what those words were meant they were communicating anyway and it was too much. All too much.

Stefan had to get the hell out of there. Elena had to get him to stay.

“Stefan--”

He made a noise and then shook his head, looking away from her.

“How long are we supposed to go on like this?”

Stefan opened his mouth to say something but closed it again, now determined to keep his gaze averted.

“I can’t do this anymore,” her voice came out in a rush. She closed the gap between them. “I swear to god, I’m going crazy.”

He knew she knew he felt the same way but he couldn’t tell her that, he had to keep as much distance as possible but Elena was getting frustrated. "This is what you used to do when we first got together! Do you know what it's like when you can't even look at me? It’s like when you were with Klaus."

A time he would never be able to forgive himself for, a time where he’d hurt her deeply. He couldn’t hear that. Stefan's eyes shifted toward her and the power of his undivided attention made Elena's breath catch in her throat. His gaze was tortured and burning and fierce with a yearning he was trying desperately to contain and Elena was determined with everything, everything she had to make him fail.

She respected his resistance, loved him for it, but she also couldn't help the overwhelming, singular urge to disregard it, make him disregard it too. She wanted to unleash his longing and bask in it. She'd been left alone with her memories and imagination for too many nights and she simply had to feel him.

Elena didn’t give him the chance to think. She launched forward and kissed him hard and deep

melding herself into him and he made an urgent sound and slipped his hands up her waist, lifting her shirt, so he could touch her skin, feel the curves of her body. But he was still holding himself back -- Elena knew what it felt like to be really felt by him, to be explored and his restraint incensed her, made her physically shake with impatient craving.

"Please," she whispered urgently, pressing herself to him, wrapping her arms around him, kissing him, nipping at him, biting him. "Just please. Please."

A low rumble vibrated in his chest in response. Her neediness for him aroused Stefan beyond reason, triggering a base instinct to do nothing but fulfill that need. They weren’t in his house or hers but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he satiated her hunger. Without warning he lifted her onto him, making her squeal into his mouth,

and pressed her against the front door, relishing having her pinned to him after so many days, so, so many days without her. He continued to kiss her until her lips were swollen, until she was moaning and clawing at his back, demanding more, demanding everything, until the strain against his jeans was painful ---

He ripped away from her, panting heavily. Elena slid down the wall, heated and gasping and wanting.

She watched him back away from her and slowly shake his head. "I'm sorry," he panted. "I'm sorry."

The guilt on his face was unbearable to witness. "No, Stefan--"

His eyes were squeezed shut. "I shouldn't -- I shouldn’t have -- that was selfish --”

"Look at me. Stefan? Look at me. I love you ---”

He was shaking his head. "No, no no, I can't do this, Elena."

Suddenly, he took off.

“Stefan!”

Elena followed him.

Stefan rushed into the Mikaelson mansion to find Klaus splayed on a sofa, reading a book. He raised his eyebrows. “Is this becoming a regular thing?”

“I need to talk to Rebekah,” said Stefan.

Elena came in right after him. “Stefan, what are we doing here?”

“Rebekah, where is she?” he said again.

Klaus shrugged but then Rebekah walked into the room and at seeing a pained and desperate Stefan and a confused and harried Elena, she rolled her eyes.

“Oh my god,” she muttered.

“I take it he told you,” said Stefan.

“And believe it or not, Stefan, I don’t care about your sirebond drama. Not everyone’s lives revolve around the teenage soap opera that is you and your friends’ lives.”

Klaus laughed and turned a page.

“I just.” Stefan took a deep breath. “I just need - I need to see if you can do something, something I can’t.”

Klaus peered up from his book and regarded him. “You’ve figured it out, haven’t you?” he said, smiling. “The only way to break the sire bond.”

Elena looked at Stefan. “What is he talking about? There’s a way to break it?”

Klaus smiled slowly and widely. “You haven’t told her?”

“Stefan?” Elena moved toward him. He moved back.

Klaus closed his book. “He has to sever the connection with you, make you not love him anymore.”

Something in Elena’s mind shattered.

Klaus cocked an eyebrow at Stefan. “You haven’t done it, though.”

“I’m weak,” he said quietly.

“Don’t say that. You can’t say that.” But he wasn’t looking at Elena, he was looking at Rebekah. “Could you do it? Make her forget?”

Rebekah looked from Klaus who made an expression of surprised interest to Stefan and then laughed. “Excuse me?”

Elena's head snapped toward him. "What?"

"Erase it all? Every memory?"

She was going to kill him. "Stefan. No."

He didn't look at her. If he looked at her, he would break.

“Well I’m a bit insulted, Stefan. Why wouldn’t you ask me, your old bedfellow?”

Stefan took a step toward Rebekah. "I said, could you do it?" he asked fiercely.

Rebekah tapped her chin in faux contemplation. “I could,” she said, nodding. “I could take away every bit of love she has for you.”

Elena was frantic. She rushed toward Rebekah. “You wouldn’t,” she pleaded. “You helped him. You hate me. You tried to kill me. But you helped save me.”

“Well, I was drugged with vervain at the time,” said Rebekah.

“No, you did it because you saw how much I love him. It moved something in you. Why would you take that away?”

“It’s the only way to break the sire bond, love,” said Klaus.

“Exactly.” Stefan’s voice was barely a whisper.

"No, stop!" She whipped toward him. "Don't I get a say in this? Were you just going to have them do this?"

He closed his eyes, pained. "Of course not, I'm just thinking of all of the options."

"How could forgetting you ever be a fucking option?” She was shrill and bewildered. “How I feel about you? That's mine! No one gets to take that away!" Elena felt herself coming apart at the seams. Her incredulity started to bleed into anger. "How dare you think that my feelings aren't my own!”

“I know that they are,” said Stefan.

“So then why aren’t you fighting for them?”

“I’m fighting for you.” He could barely speak.

“No, you don’t get to make that decision for me! After everything we've been through? After everything we've meant to each other, after everything we've survived, you're going to let this get between us?"

She was in front of him now, holding either side of his face, forcing him to look at her.

Her face crumpled and her voice came out high-pitched and thick with emotion. "How could you do this to me?"

The pain in her voice tore right through him. "How are you supposed to live supernaturally beholden to me, Elena?"

"It doesn't change how I feel!"

"Who cares?'

She recoiled. "W-what?"

He let out a strangled breath and tried to look away but her grip wouldn’t let him. "It doesn't mean anything, not right now."

"No." She shook her head. "No, it's not going to work." She bore her eyes into his, refusing to let him try and hide the truth of how he felt.

“You think I don't know you? How many times do I have to prove it, you're not going to run me off! You've never been able to, even before the sire bond."

Stefan was no longer able to keep from crying. She wasn't making this easy for him, it was cruel. And he loved her for it.

"What does that matter when you won't know what choice is yours and what the bond is telling you to feel because of something I said or because of a look on my face? Elena, I can't," he lowered his head, breaking. "I can't do this to you. I can't. I would rather give up what we have than keep you this way. I can’t."

Elena watched as the full extent of Stefan’s pain came to the surface and her anger gave way to a rush of sympathy. She could never stand to see him hurt, it twisted her.

“OK,” she said finally. “OK.” She whispered, rubbing a finger across his face. "I understand," she said. And she did. This was why she loved him.

He looked up at her, hopeful and thankful.

She pressed her lips together and then brought her face to his. Elena was grateful that he allowed himself a goodbye kiss, to torment and sate himself on the feel of her lips one last time.

He took a shuddering breath and looked at her and she said again, "I understand that you'd do this" to assuage his guilt. Then --- "But I wouldn't."

And then she snapped his neck and raced out of the house before anyone could understand what was happening. She didn't slow down and continued to run, her vamp speed taking her as far as she could go, because she would rather leave than lose his memory.

#stelena #stefan salvatore #elena gilbert #the vampire diaries #dobsley #paul wesley #nina dobrev #stefan x elena #elena x stefan #stelena fanfiction #tvd fanfiction #the vampire diaries fanfiction #tvd #angst

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pistatsia · 2 months

Note

I also wasn’t a fan of ness backstory but would love to hear your personal opinions on why you didn’t like it as much?

I HAVE SO FUCKING MUCH TO SAY-

T/w for excessive amount of hate and oversharing lmao

Well, in the beginning I'd like to say that I grown up in some shitty circumstances which resulted in me having some, uhhh, Ness-classical problems so I may be biased here 😭 Rather not "may" but "will". How can I continue to relate to him when he's like that. Like that's not a representation I wanted. Where's emotional deprivation? Where's emotional abuse? Where's his unsuccessful attempts to get his parents and siblings love because no, lol, no 7 yo child will just accept that he's outcast and be ok with that. He should have tried to adjust to them, he should have tried to reach them, satisfy, do at least something for them to care about him BECAUSE THAT'S HOW CHILD PSYCHE WORKS. And where else would he get this people pleasing towards Kaiser if not from the family? Kids need love for survival, it's not optional. It's a need. They can't just say "oh yes my parents and siblings are stupid I'm going to be alone from now on!".

Okay, now in the order.

First of all, we get the scene of Ness mother saying him he should cure his finger himself, even comforting him while saying that with her "chance of you dying from it is incredibly low". Bad words, bad phrasing, bad everything, it's like to say "dentist just gonna use this drill to take your rotting teeth off" to a kid but still - it's not direct scolding or hate. It's bad, but care. And like, yes?? It was quite a normal parental behavior, even if not really sensitive? You can't be near your kid all the time, they should know how to help themselves because one day you WON'T be there for them. It's a normal way of raising a kid if you don't want for him to grow up weak-willed and helpless. Bad way to approach that, but still. She even mentions that he shouldn't bother her with every LITTLE cut - she'd care for him instantly with something serious. Since we get this flashback from Ness from his following age, we can conclude that he still cherishes that memory as something which hurt him deeply and which was incredibly cruel from his mother to say, forming his personality. And that's… At least strange.

I mean, I also have a story when I cut my finger really deep as a 5 yo and my dad said smth like "go and spit on it and don't bother me" but I won't say it was turning point in our relationship lol But it was valuable in addition to all of other fucked up shit. Otherwise I wouldn't have remembered it at all.

I'm not saying that my experience is the only relevant but child's psyche, especially with some predisposing towards anxiety and personality disorders, has basically the same algorithms. Because till the transitional age child is like a clay, not having it's own form yet. He just adjusts to his family and surroundings.

Memories like that are the ones which CAN be turning points but ONLY in addition to other. They can't be, like. Definition of how your relationship were. It's one small insignificant episode.

Reaching the next scene - Ness reading his book and asking his brother and sister AGAIN about some magical something. Do I need to say that any kid would be irritated if their younger sibling will go and whine around about something you don't like, and again again and again when you have not once said that "that's nonsense I don't like"? It's a normal reaction for kids. They're not grown adults to control their each and every action understanding Ness fragile psychology.

Also, I mean- he got that fantasy book from somewhere, right? He is little kid ~6 or 7 yo, I believe there's few ways for kid to get one. Even if it was gifted by his grandparents or family's friends, or taken from the school library, it's not that his parents have teared the pages from this book. He reads it quite calmly, not hiding - and even demonstrates it to his siblings. His parents allowed him to read such books. No one was REALLY against him reading about something he liked. Not understanding, yes, being bad emotionally repressed family, yes, offending him in some way, probably not really caring, but… It's not that bad as Ness tries to show, at least from the side of his mother and siblings.

Secondly - snowman 💀. Lol, Ness, sorry but have you heard about Rin + Sae drama? About Barou and his little sisters because of which he probably has this obsessive compulsive thing with cleanliness? I love my little brother deeply, but for god's sake he was awful as a kid, the type that will put the hand in the fire and in socket just because I said "you can't do it it's dangerous". Even if we really got along despite the different attitude towards us from our parents, we still fought, and screamed, and got scandals over the laptop. It's a normal part of growing up with siblings.

Not just normal, but obligatory.

And… Ness' brother and sister actually tried to get along with him till some point, even if in their own way. They tried to make him fit into their world because somehow, but they loved him, and wanted him to be more or less happy and near them. They couldn't understand his passion for magic, they couldn't realize - but they had their parents as example, and they knew that while two of them fit into their parents world, Ness doesn't. And thus both magic book scenes and snowman one were a normal reaction from young kids - Ness irritated them, being too loud, and speaking some nonsense because of which they couldn't play and research together, all three of them. That wouldn't be a normal reaction from grown ups, but once again - they're kids. Siblings. Destined to ruin each other's things lol

Thirdly - no one with dirty hands should enter the house, go and wash them. ????? How is that even??? Maybe they'll also ask him to take his shoes off in the wardrobe? The cruelty of parents.

His mother even explains him why he should wash the hands before coming in. Like- I don't want to dig into psychology of two-frames character, but she looks incredibly emotionless and deathly tired. She has three kids and work at home for god's sake. And she STILL finds time to explain Ness how sounds and snow works, probably trying to comfort him somehow. She loves him, just as she loves her other kids - she tries to comfort him in her own way.

Should she have had three children if she didn't feel the need to take care of their every issue, including emotional? No. Does she cut down her children and husband when they offend Ness? Also no. Is it possible to understand her? Absolutely yes.

Through his dad indeed is a jerk lol but I feel that he's not really present in the family? It's usually her and Ness and his siblings. Imagine having a full ass house, in which she works full-time, three 5-9 yo one of whom is constantly injuring himself, and with two others probably fucking up their experiments and her work as well without her husband around. Like…

And the fact that Ness doesn't analyze anything at all, placing himself in a victim position not trying to understand that world doesn't revolve around him and other people don't understand him by default and act the way they think is right and good for him, is, uhhh. Note that "understand" doesn't mean "forgive". It's just about a critical view to the world.

Aaand regarding the kainess flashbacks… I can't say anything because it was just bland and stupid.

Overall I got a feeling that this was just lazy writing with cute kids fanservice so we'd be more invested in the last game with PXG. I mean, those scenes with milk, shower and oversleeping? I can imagine there any other pairing in blue lock - nagireo, bachisagi, kunigiri, etc etc etc. There's nothing special, nothing unique for us to actual feel something towards kainess. It's just a template into which familiar faces have been substituted - and totally OOC.

No toxic dynamic, especially the codependent one kainess have, works like THAT at the start. Even at the sugary period when one non-self-aware manipulator instinctively tries to bend other to himself being nice and everything. Ness behavior towards Kaiser also makes no sense - those things are ALWAYS growing from experience. From the need to please your parents, to try to track your every word, walking on a thin ice.

But Ness never shown such things in his flashbacks, never taking back from telling each and everyone about magic and him being a football player. Then where did this attitude got from? Just from loneliness? It still doesn't work like that THIS HIGH like to the level of enduring physical pain and alcohol in the face.

I low-key hope that Ness is unreliable narrator, so we actually DO NOT see the way his real relationship with Kaiser were at this time. We see only memories and impressions, and his memory saving only good from them - thus it may (PLEASE) happen that from Kaiser's POV it will be totally different.

The last thing about kainess I SOMEHOW liked (because I'm sure it wasn't intentional writing from Kaneshiro) is the way Ness reacts to Kaiser choking. Because he pays no reaction to it - and no real friend/lover would react like that for the sight of your dear person suffering. He doesn't care about Kaiser as of Kaiser - the thing I suspected from the beginning but didn't really liked because that's so predictable and dull. He doesn't even know about Kaiser's habit of choking himself. He doesn't really worry about Kaiser - he worries only about his idol, which he doesn't see a human behind. This was a fun thing to think about prior to this chapter because of the potential of angst from Kaiser's side who'd feel how this "love" is synthetic to the core, but I'm not sure I'd love to see this in the manga. But at least this would be yes, realistic, logical and painful, especially in that "Yoichi's magic" and naked king theme.

The only thing I really 100% liked without any whining from my side was that "undescribable feelings/undescribable sadness" frame because lmao 🤝🤝🤝 At least here you get it Ness. This frame is engraved in my memory.

At this point I feel that I dislike backstory not because it was necessary bad or stupid, but because I hate the thought of Ness turning out being so… Flat. So ridiculously touchy, so stubborn for no reason like a ram since a very childhood, so lacking critical thinking skills. So limited, so self-centered (which is visible even in that Kaiser choking himself scene).

Such a completely uninteresting character, predictable and causing only indifference towards himself.

#asks #alexis ness #fuck backstory #michael kaiser #kainess #blue lock analysis #blue lock #I feel lika a failure for seriously analyzing that

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