#I’m not going to do A LOT of other characters
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All In 8
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Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, power imbalance, low self esteem, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: you meet a mysterious man on a night out with your sister. (petite!reader)
based on the winning option for this poll
Characters: casino owner!Bucky Barnes
Note: Hellllllooooo 😁
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
The next morning comes too soon and with too little sleep. Despite your efforts, you couldn’t lay still long enough to get much rest. Every time you sunk into the shallows of sleep, you were just as quickly awoken by visions of the unknown. You don’t know anything beyond the time at which you’ll set off to your fate; nine o’clock.
You don’t need an alarm. You're already awake and alert. You sit up and rub your temples until the thumping dulls. You can’t entirely shake the pulsing thrum.
You drag yourself to your feet and cross to your dresser. You open each drawer, sifting through the contents with disappointment. You don’t have anything that nice. You pick out your nicest jeans and a halter top Roxie gave you. You’ll be sweating your bum off in the denim but you don’t have many skirts or even shorts.
You can hear your mother getting ready for her own day of work. Of actual work. You wait until she’s done to claim the bathroom. She’s off only a couple minutes after, calling out a goodbye and I love you that you return in a higher pitch than you mean to.
You dress and tidy yourself up as best you can. Your bedtime shower did little to help you sleep but at least it saves you a step. You spritz yourself with strawberry body spray and try to smile at your reflection as you put your toothbrush back.
Sigh. Did Bucky really call you sexy?
It’s not even eight. Lots of time to wallow in anxiety and self-doubt. You pace around the front room, ready to go, but not really. You have your purse with the fringe and your least-worn flats. They pinch around your toes but they’re cute; pink loafers with a little leather rose on each.
You cradle your phone then squeeze it hard enough to make it light up. Only a few minutes. Or not. You hear a car outside and peer through the curtain. You recognise the vehicle. Shoot, time to go. Oh, god, what are you doing?
You lock the door behind you and turn to face the gallows. Each step is filled with sand, your legs are heavy and your feet clunky. As you near, Merv appears to open the door for you. You’re surprised but not to find Bucky waiting within.
As you slide onto the seat, he watches you and rumbles out a silty, ‘morning, doll.’ You aren’t ready. You don’t know why but you thought the drive would give you time to toss away the last of your caution but you’re clinging to it like a raft. You feel entirely powerless. More than you ever have.
What he promises, money; you always assumed it would give you more control, that it would solve all your problems, but it’s really just a new set of problems. You settle onto the seat as the door closes and buckle your seat belt, focusing on the simple task. He stretches his arm over the back of the seat as you lean against it and his heat seethes into you.
“Good morning,” you force out at last.
“That’s a cute shirt,” he purrs as his hand wanders down to tickle your bare shoulder, your nude bra strap showing garishly. “Would look better without this.” He touches the strap and you make a noise. “But I can wait for that, doll.”
You stare forward. The divider between you and the front seat is up. You are completely alone. You feel your heart about to swell and split.
“I’ll admit, I was up late last night,” his arms shifts slightly as he leans forward. You only notice then the scent of coffee and two cups in the holders behind the console. “Got a pick-me-up to start the day. Gotta be awake for you, doll.”
He takes one of the cups and you realise, he means to offer it to you. You feel too bad to tell him you’re not much for coffee. “It’s called a blue dream tea latte? I think it’s blueberry or something. I saw it in some ad online. Sounded like something you’d like.”
“Oh, thanks, er, it does?” You murmur. You’d seen the same promotion on Pinterest. It’s a rather strange coincidence that he’d think of you. “I... I’ve never tried a tea latte.”
“Doll, I’m gonna give you lots of things you never had, take you places you never been,” he flutters his fingers across your neck as he retracts his arm. He grabs the other cup and groans as he sits back, blowing over the plastic lid. “So tell me,” his arms presses against yours. He seems so big sitting so close, “where’ somewhere you always wanted to go?”
“Er, I don’t...” your eyes drift over as Merv drives lazily through your neighbourhood, “know. I never... thought about it.”
“Anything you always wanted to do? Skydiving? Wait, yeah, you don’t like being high up. Makes sense, being so close to the ground, huh?” He chuckles and leans into you playfully, “you an outdoorsy type? You like hiking?”
“Um, I don’t know, I think... I like walking in the park sometimes,” you hold the cup with both hands, letting the warmth flow into your cold veins. You can smell the blueberry and you instinctively take wife through the slot of the lid.
“Mm, don’t worry, we’ll figure it out, doll,” he assures you and sips again, swallowing thickly before he lets out a thigh. “I think you’ll like what I got planned, even if you don’t know what you want. I’ve always been good at figuring that out, you know?”
“Oh?”
He laughs again, “you’re so cute, doll.” He looks over at you, “how’s the latte? Did I do good?”
Your eyes nearly cross as you stare at the cup. You bring it up carefully and take a dainty sip. You almost moan at the creamy but sweet taste. You pull the lid away and dab your lips with the back of your hand, turning to give him a wide-eyed look.
“It’s delicious,” you smile.
He grins and tilts his head, “see, doll, you don’t even gotta say it. I know exactly what you need.”
You’re breathless. Something about his tone, his words, mingles and coils around your throat. It’s like one of those old Wattpad fantasies you devoured in your teen years, those escapist dreams of having everything taken care of and not having to think, and yet, it’s too real. You take another drink to keep busy.
“After our first stop, we’ll eat,” he says, “that okay? You’re not ravenous?”
His words make you flinch. You blink and shake your head, “I’m okay.”
“Sounds good, doll,” he relaxes and once more extends his arms over your shoulders, this time hugging you closer.
He turns his head and nuzzles you, making you squirm. You’re rigid, paralysed by the proximity. You’ve never been this close with anyone. He still feels like a stranger.
“Mmm, strawberries,” he growls, “I like that.”
You giggle and barely keep a hold of your cup. You really can’t understand it. You never had interest from anyone. You didn’t even really have friends in school. Sometimes, you even think Roxie hates you, and your mom, well, she loves you because you have to. You just can’t comprehend what he sees.
“Thanks...” you wisp.
“No, thank you, doll,” he drawls, “for making my morning brighter.”
🃏
You doubt Bucky does anything in half-measures. Merv pulls up to another upscale building and you can’t help but gape out at the white brick facade. Everything is so big and fancy and better than you. You’re so out of place in his world that you can’t but wait for the moment he decides to kick you out of it.
The white-haired driver gets out to open the door. As you step out, your loafer slips off your heel and your foot slides down the curb. You trip outward, bracing yourself for impact, but don’t hit the ground. A hand wraps around your arm and pulls you back onto the seat. You cringe, happy at least that Bucky can’t see your face as he clings to you.
“You okay, doll?” He asks, “you hurt yourself?”
“No, no,” you wriggle in his grasp, “I’m fine. It was just... stupid.”
“Not stupid, good thing I was here to catch you, huh?” He reluctantly releases you, a caress along the back of your arm, “now you be careful. You need me to get out and carry you--”
“No, no!” You grab the car and push yourself out, fixing your shoe as you get your bearings. “Really, I’m okay.”
He chuckles and follows. It he laughing at you? You turn to face him as he steps up on the curb. It’s easy when he’s sitting to forget how small you really are.
“All good, doll, I just can’t have you getting banged up,” he says as he gestures you across the wide sidewalk.
You peer back as Merv shuts the door and Bucky brings his hand to your lower back, just like that woman at the casino. His gentle touch sends a chill up your back despite the beaming heat from above.
“Promise, you’re gonna love this.”
He urges you on to the front doors. They are made of iron, twisted in the middle, and two long handles curlicue in the middle. He stops and presses the little silver button along the side, a buzz muffled within. You wait, fidgeting, and presses his palm firmly to your back. You still yourself and clutch your bag tighter.
The interior doors, dark walnut, open inward and a woman appears within with a particularly snobbish look. She’s tall with straight shoulders and a Chanel style suit. She unlocks the iron doors and opens the right one. She eyes Bucky past her hooked nose as she lifts it higher.
“Mr. Barnes,” she greets.
“Meredith,” he returns, “thanks for having me.”
“Only for you,” she assures as her eyes fall upon you, “you’ve brought...”
“Someone very special. A connoisseur like yourself,” he insists, curtailing whatever she thought to remark.
“Yes, certainly she would be,” the woman accepts with a sniff and steps back, “please, come in. Should I have Charlene make tea?”
“I don’t think we will require it. Doll?” He pauses as he confirms with you.
You shake your head, “no thank you.”
“Very well, follow me, then,” she spins and struts away.
Bucky nudges you inside first, following through the narrow door. As he comes up parallel to you, a shadow appears to close the doors behind him. The whole experience is eerie. What is going on?
You follow the woman, Meredith, up the wooden stairs with a rose-printed runner along the center of the steps. At the top, you smell the definitive scent of books. She directs you into a room, opening the door but standing back to let you through. Bucky nods and thanks her one last time.
“You know the rules, Barnes,” she warns.
“Been a while...” he mutters.
“You remember,” she rebukes.
He laughs and pulls the door shut as she retreats, her heels clicking through the wall until they taper off to nothing. A record player drones from the corner and the window lets in the yellow sunshine, adding to the illumination of glass-shaded lamps. You peer around, as curious as you are confused.
Bucky brushes by you, knuckles rubbing against your waist, and he approaches the antique table at the center. Several stacks of books sit neatly piled atop it. You approach sheepishly and read the spines. You recognise the titles though you’ve never read any of them. As you think, you realise that these are the same books you have on your reading app. How could he know?
Your mouth falls open as you keep your hands folded together. You don’t dare to touch anything. It all seems so nice and likely expensive. And with how Meredith spoke, you’re certain she wouldn’t appreciate you putting anything out of place.
“She’s a book collector. I came here a few years back to buy some first editions for my sister,” he picks up a book.
“How...” you bend to read further down a stack.
“A lot you can learn about a person online,” he flutters through the pages, “isn’t there?”
You look at him and blanch.
“I know you Googled me. Everyone does,” he snickers, “it’s fine. Comes with the territory. But you...” he snaps the book shut and comes around the table, holding it out to you, “all I found were some books and a few pictures of a cat.”
You take the book and stare at the cover. Those pictures were old. Kai died at the end of high school. You run your hand over the embossed title; Middlemarch. You remember adding it after binging and old British series.
“My cat. She’s gone now,” you shrug.
“Sorry to hear that, doll,” he says. “I might know someone who can cheer you up, though.”
“It’s... fine. She was a good cat,” you shrug.
“Hm, yeah, but a friend, all the same,” he says, “so, you want it?”
“What?” You peek at the book again.
“All of them? I can have them packed and sent to your house.”
“Huh?” Your eyes nearly bulge out of your skull, “my mom...”
“Ah, it’s fine, we can sneak em in,” he assures.
“No, no, I couldn’t... it’s too much. Very nice but... must be... a lot.”
“It is, doll. Meredith gave me a damn headache tryna get in here on short notice but I did it,” he leans a hand on the table and hooks one foot over the other. “You gotta at least pick one thing to walk out of here with.”
“Oh, I... I wasn’t meaning... I didn’t mean to be ungrateful,” you rub your thumbs along the edges of the book, “sorry.”
“It’s fine. I know you’re not, doll. You’re... adjusting. I’m doing my best not to scare ya away but you gotta bite the carrot a little here,” he says, “so grab a few and we’ll go have some breakfast.”
“I...” you look between him and the table. You have no doubt that he went to a lot of effort for this. For you. You can’t just throw it back in his face. “Thank you, it’s...” you turn to face the table and lean in to see more of the books. You let yourself smile, “it’s wonderful. No one’s ever... except mom...”
“Get used to it, doll,” he steps closer, his hand once more on your back, “with a smile like that, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of seeing it.”
#bucky barnes#dark bucky barnes#dark!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#series#all in#au#casino au#mcu#marvel#avengers#captain america#winter soldier
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Naruto boys insecurity’s
──☆*:・ﾟ
!Angst!
Characters: Naruto🦊,sasuke🗡️,Itachi🥀, kakashi🍃, kiba🐺, shikamaru🀄️,shino🪲,neji🎋,Lee🥋,choji🍥,gaara⏳,kankuro🪆
Naruto🦊-*
He’s grown up an outcast so he’s slightly insecure anyways (poor thing). He thinks he’s a bother to you sometimes and gets himself in a slump. You noticed how hes been rather quiet with you, not asking for anything, not begging for cuddles or kisses, you knew something must have been wrong. And it was confirmed when you over heard him talking to himself in the mirror, basically just insulting himself
“Why cant i just do better…” “why do I have to be so annoying…everyone thinks I’m annoying…probably even y/n. They could do so much better why m-” “NARUTO DONT YOU DARE FINISH THAT SENTENCE” you bust down the door causing naruto to quickly wipe his teary eyes “hey y/n! W-what do you mean?” “You know what I mean naruto.” You reach for his cheek to make sure he keeps his eyes on you “your not a bother naruto. And you deserve me as much as I deserve you! Why are you saying this?” He’s in full blown tears now, ugly crying and everything “e-everyone already thinks that way about me I-I thought you would think the same after a w-while” he sniffs “foxy…do I need..to show you how much you mean to me?” His eyes widen at the fact that he actually means something to you. For the rest of the night you never left him alone once, you spoiled him so much more that normal which made him feel so much better. He loves youuuuuu
Sasuke🗡️-*
Also was treated like an outcast but it didn’t affect him in the way it affected naruto. He doesn’t really think he’s a bother, if anything he’s scared that you think your the bother, since he’s so “cold” towards you sometimes he’s scared your going to leave or think he doesn’t love you anymore. Once it got so overwhelming for him he had teary eyes for hours just thinking about how he acts, he decided he needed to tell you. Once he found you he ran towards you and engulfed you in a big hug. You thought this was adorable or him being silly until you felt something wet on your shoulder followed by a broken breath
“S-sasuke? What’s wrong…Are you crying?” You could hear a sad whimper coming from him. “I love you. I-I love you so much y/n please don’t forget. No matter how I act I-” “I know. Baby I know. I love you too, what’s this about, your scaring me?” He didn’t dare remove his tear stained head from your shoulder “I know I’m…mean s-sometimes but-” it finally clicked for you why he was so upset all of a sudden “sasuke… your not mean! And I know you love me no matter how you act.” “I..just thought…no one understands how I truly feel. I just Need you to know…t-that I do love you” he pulls away from your shoulder to wipe his eyes before turning away from embarrassment. He felt you wrapping your arms around him causing him to jump. “I’m sorry y/n. I’m just over reacting” “no don’t. Don’t say that… I think we should lay down. You need to relax do you need me to help you? I know you feel…weak” he takes a deep breath “please y/n… yes” you both walk together to your bed. Trust me when I tell you he is going to feel a lot better after some comfort *wink*
Itachi🥀-*
He just feels… worthless sometimes. He just doesn’t feel worthy of good things that happen in his life, aka you. He doesn’t feel worthy of you. But he is very open with you unlike others, he tells you what’s wrong no matter what.
“Y/n. I have uhm… I have some feeling I would like to share.” “Of course Love, what’s up?” “I…” You gaze softens realizing he’s going to get upset “I don’t feel worthy.” “Oh…tachi… come here” you pat the spot next to you but instead he took your lap instead, he reaches in for a hug before speaking up again “tell me you love me. Please. And tell me I’m worthy…” “you are the love of my life. And you are worthy of that love. No matter what you think you deserve love.” That is all he needs to hear. Although he gets very upset you can always calm him down. It does happen more often but you do not care. Anything to make him feel better.
Kakashi🍃-*
We all know he’s very attractive but that doesn’t mean he thinks the same. He doesn’t like his scar, he doesn’t like the story it holds and he doesn’t like the look of it. He can hold back the insecurity in battle because he knows it’s not worth dying because he thinks it’s ugly, but he cant hold back the insecurity on a day to day basis with you, he gets extremely timid with you. You see him with the mask off all the time so it’s kinda funny that you rarely see him without something covering his eye. But you just thought he forgets it’s there so you didn’t think about insecurity, but when you walk in on him washing his face he almost instantly covered his eye with his palm you knew something was wrong
“Ay? Why you covering that cute face?!” “Aha thanks y/n” he chuckles trying to make you ignore it yet he still kept his hand up “serious what’s with your hand?” “Well..ah you know..” he points to his eye with his other hand “what your scar? Babe I don’t care” he smiles softly before replying “I care…” “take your hand away” “I’d rather not-” “kakashi.” Groans “yes y/n…” he drops his hand and you let out a content sigh “there’s my baby” you grab his face with both hands and kiss his scar softly “you don’t find it odd?” He looks away while blushing “no kakashi I don’t find it odd because I love you.” He flashes a smile before turning back to the mirror with a weird look still on his face, to lighten the mood you grabbed him my the cheeks to shake his head back and forth before giggling at him. “Cutiee” you comment before kissing his beauty mark then walking back out the door.
Kiba🐺-*
He’s sensitive, he may be a big joker but if someone else says the wrong thing he will not be happy, normally the only thing he doesn’t like being called is a mutt or a dog. It makes him feel ashamed of him family quirk. Just because he loves animals doesn’t mean he is one right? He started thinking maybe he is just a dog. A Dirty, annoying, unfunny mutt. He started to feel like foolish for loving a dog so much, but he can’t help it it’s the family he was born into.
He has been rather distant from akamaru, still taking him on mission but recently he hasn’t been letting his puppy in the house as much anymore and he gets upset when you let him in instead. “Why did you let him in the house y/n!” “His a good boy he won’t chew up furniture if anything you would!” You we’re just trying to lighten the mood but it didn’t help “akamaru outside now!” He commands “come on why don’t you want him inside??” “You don’t need two mutts in the house y/n” this confused you for obvious reasons “two mutts? Are you talking about yourself? Your not…your not a dog thought?” He crosses his arms in protest “tell that to my friends, Or anyone because for some reason they all think I am a dog stuck in human form and it’s getting old.” You chuckle nervously “your not? If your talking about your dog like features and fighting style it’s just your quirk? It’s not your fault you can’t choose” he lowers his head “even you think I’m a dog sometimes!” “No baby. I dont I think your a human just with some animal features but most of your family is like that?” “If you don’t think I’m an animal why do you call me names like puppy.” He’s stretching, he loves it when you call him that he’s just in a mood “I call you that because you love attention and can’t go a day without seeing your loved ones. Plus your as cute as a pup!” His shoulders relax finally realizing he shouldn’t be upset over this. “I just feel ashamed of who I am sometimes y/n I’m sorry.” “Don’t be sorry. I love who you are if that makes it better” he chuckles “yeah…it kind of does make it better honestly…can you kiss me..?” He smile at his sudden change of mood “of course!”
Shikamaru🀄️-*
He knows he’s good looking but he also knows he’s not the best, he also knows your absolutely stunning, so it gets to him sometimes without realizing is, he changes his look every now and then to see if it would make him feel better. Maybe make him more attractive to you he hopes
“Dear could you turn around please?” “Sure shika whats u-” you stop dead in your tracks with a shocked look on your face “your hair is down!!!” You exclaim, the only time you see his hair down is when he is sleeping, you’ve never seen it down when he’s awake “I know, I’m trying something, does it look good?” You giggle “You always look good darling, just not use to it that’s all” you walk over to grab a handful of his hair which was slicked back but not up in a ponytail anymore. “Well I think you look handsome no matter what” he groans “don’t lie to me does it make me look worse?” You give him a nasty look “worse? You say that as if you already look bad…?” “Well eh-” “well what? Your very attractive Shika do you think other wise?” He puts his hands in his pockets “uhm sometimes-” “oh come on!” You grab his face “your soooo handsome no matter what you do with your hairrrr” you tease. He continued to make eye contact with you while a smile grows on his face. “…can I put a little braid in your hair?” “No” “Aw man.”
Shino🪲-*
He’s ok with his looks and doesn’t feel like a burden on you, oddly enough the only thing he’s insecure about is his voice. He thinks he sounds funny sometimes and doesn’t like how raspy it is, that’s why sometimes he doesn’t talk to you that much. Sometimes all he responds with is either nodding his head or shaking it which makes you feel bad
“What do you feel for dinner love bug?” “…” you looked around because maybe he left the room but no, he just didn’t respond. “Uhm hello???” “…” “are you hungry?” He shakes his head yes “with words please?” He looks around before responding quietly “yes I’m hungry” you giggle not quiet knowing what’s up with him “why are you so timid right now?” He finally speaks up “do you think I sound funny y/n?” “Uh no? Why” “sometimes I feel like my voice isn’t that pleasing.” “It sound pleasing to me-” he lightened up at the compliment “really?” “Yes of course!” When he’s insecure he normally gets over it fast, he’s rational and knows when he’s just being silly
Neji🎋-*
He knows he can choose his own destiny, he just wish the preset plan for him was burned into his forehead. He hated it so much, he was disgusted by it and therefor disgusted with himself. Sometimes you find him crying in the mirror over the symbol plastered onto him. But you always let him know that it doesn’t define him
You could hear cries coming from the bathroom and you couldn’t take it anymore so you decide to knock “sweetheart…are you crying?” He knew there was no point in lying anymore “y-yes..” “may I come in?” You could hear a cracked “mhm…” coming from the other side or the door so you walk in, immediately pulling him into your chest. “What happened. Did Someone do this?” He pulls away from your chest just to look back to the mirror to cover his mark while his lip quivered. You finally realized what was happening. “Give me your hand please..” he obliged lowering his hand. You grabbed his cheek and gave a very long forehead kiss. “Your worth more than this mark Neji.” You mumble against his head. You decided the best thing to do is go to bed and give him more love so that’s just what you did
Lee🥋-*
He may seem strong so it was shocking to you when he confided in you about how he’s insecure about almost everything about him (poor thing) he try’s to stay strong but he can’t help but get vulnerable with you
All you were doing was giving him love but he just felt unworthy of it. “My handsome, strong, perfect boy!~” kiss “well I don’t know if those words are accurate but thank you my precious!” You huff at his self doubt “don’t say that, your all of those things?” He laughs nervously “I don’t think so heh” “you are! You don’t think your handsome or strong…?” You frown “well uhm y/n…It obvious I’m not the best looking, and yeah I’m strong but…I could always be stronger.” He looked down at his feet in shame “Lee…take it back.” “W-what” “take it back. No one is allowed to insult my baby like that, not even himself.” He thought you were just joking until he looked up into your eyes to see the seriousness that laid in them, he could see tears forming in your eyes. “Please Lee. Take it back.” “I-I…I take it back y/n I’m sorry” “please…don’t ever say things that that again”
Choji🍥-*
He’s always been bullied because of his weight so of course he will be extremely insecure about it and anxious when your trying to love up on him, you knew he was insecure about it and you always told him it did it matter but you never realized to much it really affects him until your further into the relationship and you started to be more physically affectionate, he loves the affection just hates the body that it receiving it. All you were trying to do was hold him after a long day but he seemed so scared of if and you had to ask why
“Cmon let me hug you!” “No y/n..” you pout “why not! I wanna hold my fluff ball!” He cups his hands together then proceeded to look at the floor “I don’t think holding me is even possible…” your pout turned into a confusion “uh what do you mean choj?” He pinched at his stomach to hint at what he was talking about since he was to shy to actually tell you “oh…Choji you don’t need to worry about that I don’t care!” “I care because it means I can’t do certain things! How are you supposed to hold me!” You scoff “I’m confident I could carry you like a baby if I needed too.” “Your just saying that to make me feel better…” he crosses his arms and puffs his cheeks up out of timidness “I’m being serious Choji! I could totally carry you! Your not as big as you think you are.” He closes his eyes so tears dont form “I’d like to see you try y/n, you won’t be able t-” since his eyes were closed he didn’t see you walk over to his side, he only realized when he felt your arm latch around his shoulders and your other cupping around his legs. He open his eyes right in time to realize you just picked him up bridal style. He gasps in reaction, he turns to your face to see not a single ounce of struggle on your face “I told you! Your not that heavy choj!” This Moment honestly cured almost all his insecurity on that subject for a very long time. And sometimes he thinks “maybe she’s just really REALLY strong” he still loves the thought behind your actions. “Heh uhm…I guess maybe I’m not. Thank you sweetie!” “Anytime bubs~” with that you place him back down on his feet and give him a very passionate kiss
Gaara⏳-*
Most of his life he was basically controlling by either others or his inner demon so he didn’t have time to worry about appearance. But ever since he finally felt in control of his own life he now worries about his appearance sadly. He doesn’t like the mark on his head, he doesn’t really like his hair either and feels like his facial features just look wrong on him. He’s very good at hiding things so you didn’t realize until you overheard a conversation with him and his brother, he figured since kankuro is considered attractive maybe he should ask him for advice!
You were wondering around trying to find Gaara to ask him god knows what until you finally hear his voice along with kankuros, you walked behind the door about to knock until gaara’s question caught your attention. “So is there anything that could make me more ‘attractive’ or something along the lines of that?” “I don’t know? Maybe try face paint chicks dig it” you could hear a sigh leaving Gaara “I don’t want to attract ‘chicks’ I just want to attract y/n.” “What makes you think she doesn’t already feel attracted to you?” “I don’t know, I just feel like if I find myself unattractive maybe she does too.” That’s enough, you have to stop this. You knock on the door making them both look at it, you swing the door open and immediately look at gaara which was all it took for kankuro to take the hint “I’m just gunna..goooo…” you and him exchange nods before he leaves. Once the door shut you look back at gaara “what was all that?” “Oh so you heard?” “Yes gaara I heard, why do you find yourself unattractive? And why are your going to your skanky brother for help?” He turns his head to continue speaking “I can’t explain why I feel that way about myself, but I went to my brother because I know he is considered attractive to others.” You sit next to gaara and grab his chin to make him look at you. You lean closely to speak “how could you not love this face~” you whisper almost seductively while you drag your thumb across his cheek bone. “What don’t you like…?” His breath hitched out of fear of spilling his insecurity’s. “I guess…I don’t like the mark on my head, and I don’t like my nose much either, I also don’t really care for my hair it makes me look like a clown sometimes.” He’s waiting for you to agree with him but instead you lean closer to kiss everything he listed, first his little nose, then his marking and then you drag your hand through his hair which made him flushed. “Well I like Everything about you…” he finally makes eye contact with you, with red cheek. He took a big deep breath to reply “ok…thank you y/n. That makes me feel a bit better” you reach in for a hug which he gladly accepted!
Kankuro🪆-*
Even though he seems so hot and confident he’s much like his brother, sometimes he doesn’t like his bare face. He has make up on almost all day se rarely do you see him without any on, and when you do see him bare faced he’s weirdly shy which isn’t like him.
You both were in bed after work and you were just having a conversation, mostly it was just you talking which was weird because he’s normally high maintenance. “I couldn’t believe she had the audacity to say something like that, what do you think babe did she have a good point?” “I don’t know” his head is slightly turned to the side opposite of you which made it almost impossible to see him, he just washed his face so he’s completely bare faced yet won’t even look at you. “Babe? Cmon atleast look at me when I’m talking” “UGHHHHHHHH fine.” He turns to You shyly avoiding eye contact before replying “she’s in the wrong for saying that honestly-” you laugh “that’s exactly what I’m saying!……” you stared at his cute bare face for a little to long which made him anxious “what are you looking at y/n!” “I’m looking at your cute facee *boop*” he pulled away from your finger just to cross his arms “whateverr” you didn’t know at the time he wasn’t feeling his best but later he did tell you. But he still loves the compliment you give no matter how insecure he is at the time. Only you can make him feel better tbh
#naruto headcanons#naruto imagines#naruto shippuden#naruto x reader#naruto uzumaki x reader#naruto angst#sasuke x reader#sasuke uchiha x reader#itachi uchiha#itachi x reader#kakashi hatake#kakashi x reader#kakashi sensei#kiba inuzuka#kiba x reader#shikamaru nara#shikamaru x reader#shino aburame#shino x reader#neji hyuga x reader#neji hyuga#neji x reader#rock lee x reader#rock lee#choji akimichi#choji x reader#choji headcanons#gaara x reader#kankuro x reader
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When discussing the content disparity between Wyll and the other Origin characters+Halsin, it’s not about “pitting” the characters against each other.
It’s highlighting what content and suggestions got green lit and what didn’t.
It’s the writers for Asterion and Dark Urge working closely together, and allowing for Asterion to have a completely unique experience with Dark Urge that other Origin characters, not just Wyll, do not have despite budget and time constraints.
In contrast, Wyll’s entire character was scrapped, shoddily rewritten, and recast incredibly close to launch. Despite fans reaching out to Larian, very few patches were made regarding his content and his dialogue/quest line continued to be underwhelming and, frankly, glitchy.
You can hug and kiss most romanced (and even non-romanced) characters in the epilogue.
In Wyll’s Blade of Avernus ending when you both go to Avernus with Karlach, there is no unique romance options, not even to hug or kiss him. Even when Wyll is not romanced, there is no option to hug him like the others.
At Pax East, they revealed that Wyll had a “big moment” that was scrapped and then did not elaborate. This was also in the midst of their announcement that they would not be adding new content to the game.
Wyll is the only Origin character that lacks a persuasion check or a “let Wyll make his choice” option at the climatic point of his character quest (breaking his pact or diving deeper into his pact with Mizora).
Wyll is also the only Origin character to lack a unique hairstyle not available to the Player. It’s a small detail, but it shows, especially with their one Black character, to not have a dedicated hairstyle for him.
And, most glaringly, Wyll does not have an overt sex scene. Now, as an ace person, Wyll having a sex scene isn’t super important to me. But, for those who enjoy that stuff and that the fact that he is the only one, yet again, is objectively unfair. I can skip it. But I can’t even do that because it’s not even there.
I’m not saying Larian should keep making Baldur’s Gate content if their “heart isn’t in it” or if it’s later revealed that they were getting a bad end of a deal. More power to them. They created a great game that gave a lot of people community and a sense of belonging.
But not for everyone. The disparity and lack of acknowledgment of their lead Black character should not be swept under the rug as they bow out.
#Stardew 1.6 came out and Larian said “we have to quit while we’re ahead#wyll ravengard#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#dark urge#bg3 wyll#origin character#larian studios#larian critical#wyll bg3#bg3 tav#this was in my drafts#i just love wyll a lot
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Hi!
I know right now may not be the best time to say this, but I'm kind of still processing how fast this all happened. As someone who likes to look over artists' past work esp my fav works daily and just suddenly noticed that they're almost all gone: twitter, instagram, and tumblr. It frustrates me that not only has this situation affected you, but how it really takes one selfish and inconsiderate person to ruin everything for others. I truly hope that you can heal from this and maybe we might see those pictures again, but this is just soo much to process. Just love and support for you <33333 🥹🫶😭🫶🫶🫶🫶
Hi. I’ve privated a lot of my work on tumblr and Instagram, so they’re not gone forever. I still have a lot of positive memories with them so I didn’t want to delete them. I wanted to keep all the nice comments and support I’ve gotten over these past few years.. I might unarchive them sometime in the future when I’m more okay with it being looked at. Twitter, I had no choice but to delete it, especially ones with dick, jason, and Peter Parker. My brain freaked out a little bit from seeing evidence of the person saving my art and making fake clip files with them. Logically, I am aware deleting my old art in response is stupid.
But it wasn’t limited to just comic art, it was other interests I had too which was really uncomfortable that someone would go to the extent of pretending they like other stuff I liked. They would also paraphrase tweets I’ve made about my personal life onto their own twitter. That just isn’t okay.
Every interest I’ve ever fallen in love with meant a lot to me. This is probably not publicly known information since I’m relatively private, as a depressed autistic person, a lot of who I am is what I end up liking. My friends and relatives describe me as dressing up like a cartoon character, because everything I like is so visibly obvious. I become utterly consumed in my favorite things. Suddenly, it feels like all of my control was taken away from me. My interests collected over the years were no longer just mine, it was someone else’s because they decided to lie and it was easier to continue lying. I don’t know how much was saved. There was a screenshot of a message with over 8+ of my art works sent excluding the fake files.
I don’t have control over it. The impersonation of my identity and my life experiences.
But I do have control over who gets to see what I put out in the future. I could probably write this better but I’ve rewritten a lot of things within these two days. Rewritten posts over and over so it sounds less aggressive, less hurt, less like I am trying to call for a witch hunt and more just taking extra precautions. I don’t think I have the energy to rewrite this to seem less vulnerable/pathetic.
I want to apologize to everyone who hoped I’d keep my past art public. I know how it feels. I’ve been fans of artists who just blew up their account one day and never came back. I only privated them on tumblr and Instagram. That’s all I can do. Honestly, I’m hoping a part of my brain just forgets some of this happened since depression does come with memory loss.. This post is now too long.. but I hope it gives some insight for what’s happening on my side of the brain. I appreciate all the support so far.
If you see me acting a little weird on twitter, I’m just trying to regain a sense of control over my identity.
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Just to put my two cents in on the whole no Johnlock in Podlock situation;
There’s no one correct way to interpret the Holmes/Watson relationship. It feels very clearly queer to me because I am a queer person who is attached to these stories. Others might not interpret it that way. That doesn’t mean they’re wrong or I’m wrong. Just ya know. Two different people interpreting a character in the public domain.
Something that encouraged me is that Joel said they had no plans for any of the main three to get together. I was nervous, especially after the Gloria Scott that we were heading for John/Mariana territory (which, to be clear, I do like them together. Marianna is just so cool. I know she’s a stand in for Mrs. Hudson of course, but I think she’s also a stand in for Mary Morsten and the best portrayal of her I’ve seen so far. I wouldn’t be upset, per se about these two being together, it’s just…. Another straight romance for John isn’t really breaking new ground).
I really hope that the Podlock team sticks to their guns here. I quite like the idea of a strictly serialized set of stories, with three characters who clearly share love for each other. Because they don’t have any intentions of giving any of them a romance, it means we as an audience can fill in the blanks for ourselves. Yes, we want clear explicit queer representation. But I don’t think Sherlock & Co. has to be that, ya know?
Me personally, I will be listening to the episodes and knowing that the three of them are doing it sloppy style in between cuts. You, other nebulous listener, can cast them as sexless crime solving creatures. You, other nebulous listener, can make Johnlock canon for you. Idk man. This isn’t BBC Sherlock. I don’t feel like the Podlock team is dangling a queer love story in front of us and snatching it away at the last second.
I think Joel and the team saying explicitly here at the beginning that Johnlock isn’t the plan is actually like… really nice. They could get a lot of listeners by going “ooo maybe John and Sherlock will kiss this episode you don’t know!!” Instead, they’re giving their queer audience the respect they deserve by saying “that isn’t the textual story we’re telling, but if you want to read it’s subtext that way, they belong to us as much as they do to us.”
I just really respect that, I guess.
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Hello, I’m so glad that this blog is coming back from hiatus! I always really enjoy your posts. I was wondering if you have any advice on engaging in a fandom that is mostly smut if you don’t read and write it? Most of the fans in my small fandom hang out in on discord together and mostly write E-rated fic. For various reasons I don’t read and write smut, and I’ve found it really difficult to make friends in the fandom. As a result, people very rarely comment on my fics even though I get lots of views and some kudos - it’s making fandom a bit lonely. On top of this, some of the BNFs have started ganging up in the comments on other people in the fandom over perceived slights in (actually very positive!) comments. I’m thus quite hesitant to even comment on the stuff I can read in case I accidentally offend them. But I do want to make some friends! I just don’t know how to do it. Thank you!
*hugs* that sounds like you've got a lot going on, anon! 💜 Let's start by separating this out into things you can't control versus things you can control.
You can't control:
the types of fics other people decide to write
how other people (Big Name Fans, in this case) will react to your comments
You can control:
whether or not you join, participate in, or leave the discord server
whose fics you comment on and how
how you write and post your own fics
You may be able to encourage:
whether other people decide to comment on your fic or not
Have you already tried the discord server? If not, maybe give it a go. Even if all of the authors solely write e-rated smut, that won't be the only topic of conversation. Plus, there are likely to be readers in there too, if it's open to anyone in the fandom. There will probably be channels related to writing, a channel for spoilers and speculation, a channel for fanart, one for recs, and one for general chitchat. At least, that's been the makeup of fandom servers I've been part of in the past.
As for the BNFs who are getting angry over comments, if you are worried about getting hit by that anger, then you don't have to comment on their fics. But a fandom is made up of many more people than just BNFs. Search out other writers, readers, artists etc. who are in a better frame of mind and comment on their works. Send them tumblr asks. Reblog their posts with tags or additions. A conversation has to start somewhere, and that's the first step towards making friends.
It's true that romantic fics tend to get more readership than gen fics in most fandoms, and getting more readers increases your likelihood of getting comments. However, you don't need to write E-rated smut if you don't want to. I'm someone who writes a lot of smut. However, I'm also someone who loves a good gen fic. I pretty much just want to see more of my favourite characters existing in a world together and whether that leads to shagging or shenanigans is up to the author.
If you want to encourage comments on your works and you're not sure how, I recommend checking out the @longlivefeedback Comment Project. It's a way for authors to make clear to readers what kind of feedback they like and whether or not they'll reply to comments (along with some other suggestions for how to start the conversation with your AN). LLF also has a Comment Builder to help readers who struggle with commenting. You can link that in your author's note as a resource, as well.
How have the rest of you found friends in your fandoms?
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The Shadowsinger: Eighteen
Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. SMUT (wing play, shadow play, p-in-v, protected sex (Az is using the tonic), fingering, size kink), ACOTAR series spoilers, alludes to SA. If I forgot anything, please let me know!
Pairing: Azriel x Fem!Reader
Summary: You spend your first Starfall out of the Mountain with Azriel.
Disclaimer: I do not own SJM’s characters or plot lines, only the ones I create for the purpose of this story. This is a work of fiction. I do not give permission to repost my work on any other platform or medium. Please be respectful.
My graphics are my own. If you wish to use them, please give credit!
Series Masterlist
Thirteen - Fourteen - Fifteen - Sixteen - Seventeen
You spent that night with Azriel. After you bathed, you invited him into your room and you laid with him. He told you about Mor, even though you knew the story. He told you about how he was always more protective of his family in Hewn. Especially when Keir was involved.
Az said he was upset that you didn’t agree with Rhys right away, that you would defend them if he asked. He expected more, and you understood. Azriel was Rhys’s brother, he would defend him to no end. Even if Rhys was in the wrong. You talked about that for an hour.
You spent half the night talking about the people you hurt on behalf of others. You had never hurt another person of your own will before, not before you joined the Night Court. Azriel, on the other hand, has hurt many people. Maybe on behalf of Rhys, but he equally felt it was justified. You learned he was much more aggressive when it came to his family, if anyone threatened them, it took a lot for him to restrain himself.
You didn’t fight again throughout the night and you eventually fell asleep with your head on his chest. His wings were spread out beneath him, and yours were tucked into your back. Both your shadows settled on the ground once you both relaxed.
When you woke up, you noticed Azriel was staring at you. “You’re beautiful in the morning.” He whispered, moving your hair from your face. The curls from last night had fallen out and you were pretty sure the kohl was probably smeared underneath. To you, you definitely did not look beautiful.
“You’re lying.” You whispered, even though your shadows whispered to you that he wasn’t.
“Why would I lie?” He asked and cupped your cheek. You leaned into his touch.
“What are we, Az?” You asked, looking up to his eyes. “Are we… courting?”
Azriel’s stroking thumb stopped on your cheek. Your heartbeat kicked up, afraid that you pushed too far. “Courting is such a fancy term.” He said and smiled. “And I don’t think it quite covers how I feel about you..” he said.
“And how do you feel about me?” You asked quietly.
“Like I’m falling head over heels for you… and I don’t think I’m ever going to land.” He whispered, his thumb continuing to stroke your cheek.
You felt a light heat rise to your face, a tender smile coming to your lips. Azriel wished he could capture this moment. The look on your face told him that you cared. You cared for him. “I’m going to be there to catch you. As long as you’re there for me.” You whispered.
Instead of responding, he leaned in, kissing you deeply. It conveyed everything the two of you were feeling. You were falling for each other. You were almost in love with him. But there was something holding you back. You hoped whatever it was would sort itself out. You knew that if you loved him, your life would be the most complete it had been in a long time.
Starfall was the next night. You hadn’t been able to see it in 50 years. Your dress was a deep midnight blue, with gems lining the entire fabric to make it glow in the light. It was draped across your shoulders, a sheer shimmery fabric flowed from your back to the ground. You couldn’t believe you found it the day before, and the seamstress was able to adjust it within the day.
You walked to the main dining room in the House of Wind, where many of the residents in Velaris were already celebrating. You spotted your friends, your family, and slowly walked over to them. You took Azriel’s arm when he offered it to you, thanking him when he complimented your look.
Rhys greeted you as well and you saw Feyre’s dress, a silver gown that took your breath away. Where did she get that? You noticed Feyre walk over to Rhys, standing slightly closer to him than she did before.
“Is this how lively it was when you were all here during those 50 years?” You asked, looking up at Az.
He tilted his head in a so-so manner. “We tried to keep hopes up, keep it a sacred night. But we never allowed any residents to the House. That was to be reserved for Rhysand’s first Starfall back.” He said.
“You seem happy.” You said, smiling up at him.
“I am. My entire family is here… and you’re included in that.” He said, a small smile on his lips. Seeing you smile up at him took his breath away. You were incredible. In every sense of the word. “Were you ever allowed out on Starfall?” He asked.
You shook your head, your smile falling to a small frown. “No… Amarantha knew how important Starfall was for the Night Court. She would take Rhys into her chambers… I can only imagine what she made him do.” You said and looked over to him, your heart clenching at the sacrifice that Rhysand made so his people, these people, could be safe. “For the rest of us… well most of the Night Court people were bound Under the Mountain anyway. For me, she would force me to do some horrid thing to spies… it always ended with me killing them.” You looked outside, smiling as you saw the River. “This year, I can properly appreciate the migration of the spirits. I hope it’s as beautiful as I remember it.” You finished.
Azriel took his arm from your grasp, wrapping it around your waist to pull you closer to him. He kissed your temple tenderly and you looked up at him as he said, “You’re with your family now. And we won’t let anything like that happen again. Starfall will always be a night when we spend it outside, nothing above our heads.”
You smiled and leaned up, kissing his cheek. “Thank you Az,” you said.
Mor brought you both something to drink and you spoke with her and Amren as more and more guests filed in. You knew Rhys had a special system for getting everyone up here tonight, and you were glad for it. You could see all the residents in their gowns and with their partners.
Rhys and Feyre disappeared somewhere when Starfall started, but you and Az found your own little corner on the balcony. He rubbed your waist, not even watching as the spirits started to ascend. He kept his eyes on you as you admired them flying through the sky. You laughed gently as you saw a few people get sprayed with dust, looking up at Azriel. “You’re missing it.” You said, nudging him.
“I’m watching something just as beautiful.” He said and you blushed, nudging him again.
“You flatter me, Spymaster.” You said. “My room has a private balcony.” You added, looking at him. “Care to join me away from this?” You asked, turning to face him fully.
He glanced around, taking in his family as they celebrated and watched the spirits flying across the sky. “I’d love to.” He said, looking down as you took his scarred hand in yours, walking towards the stairs.
You got to your room, stepping out on the balcony. You took in the brisk wind, watching the spirits. Your shadows hid in the corner, even Azriel’s joined them. “Can I tell you something?” Azriel asked, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind. You spread your wings so he could rest his head on your shoulder, his breath tickling your neck.
“You can tell me anything.” You said and turned your face towards him. You could feel the spirits flying by close enough that you could touch them if you reached your hand out.
“I haven’t felt this content in a long time. And it’s all because of you.” He whispered and pressed a soft kiss on your neck.
A gentle smile appeared on your lips, leaning into his touch. “I feel the same way.” You whispered, looking out to the sky with him. “Can I tell you something?” You asked quietly.
“Anything.” He answered, pulling you closer.
“I didn’t think I could ever be happy again… not after Amarantha claimed me as hers. I never thought I would be on my own again, that I would always be tied to her or what she made me do. I would be suffocating because of the things I’ve done,” you said. “But I found a place here. With your family… and when I’m with you…” you took in a deep breath, turning in his arms. You leaned against the edge of the balcony, bringing your hand up to cup his cheek. “When I’m with you, Azriel, I feel like even after all that I’ve endured, I can breathe again… And I truly hope that feeling never goes away. Because you make my life feel complete.”
He studied your eyes, leaning down to rest his head on your forehead. “I hope I can always help you breathe, too.” He said.
You closed the distance in between you two, kissing him deeply. You tangled your fingers on his hair, savoring the taste of the liqueur on his tongue. You let out a small whimper when he squeezed your waist, trailing his hands down to your rear to give that a squeeze as well.
He lifted you up by your thighs, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as he carried you to the bed. Your hands drifted to the ends of his wings, smirking against his lips when they twitched and you felt the bulge in his pants grow.
“Azriel…” you whispered as he laid you down. “I want you to touch my wings.” You whispered and looked into his eyes.
He studied your face and when you nodded, he kissed you again. “You’re sure?” He asked.
“Yes. I trust you.” You whispered.
“You just say the word… and I’ll stop.” He said and kissed your neck before he looked back up to you.
“And you tell me the same.” You said, bracing yourself as he slowly untied your dress from the back, letting it fall from your shoulders. His intense stare as he examined your body made the heat in your core grow.
You reached up, unbuttoning his own shirt as he leaned down to pepper kisses your collarbone. “You are beautiful.” He whispered against your skin, reaching back to slowly touch the edge of your right wing.
You bristled, arching your back from the small touch. “So are you.” You whispered and slipped off his shirt. You ran your hands down his chest, dragging your nails against his abdomen. “And I want you out of these pants.” You growled.
His chuckle reverberated off of the skin above your breast as he stepped back, unbuttoning them and letting them fall to the ground.
You lifted your hips, pulling the rest of your dress down to fall to the floor. Something about being completely bare in front of Azriel unlocked your inner need, pulling him on top of you.
He tsked, kissing your neck. “Not quite, sweetheart.” He whispered and shifted, pulling you on his lap from behind, so your back and wings were against his chest. “If you want me to touch your wings, I’m going to find every spot to make you feel good.” He whispered in your ear, nipping your lobe.
You leaned your head back to look at him. “Don’t tease.” You pleaded.
“We didn’t agree to that.” He smirked and reached around, squeezing your breast with one hand as the other trailed the center of your back to the inside of your left wing.
His gentle touch on your wing compared to the hard squeezing of your breast made you arch your back again, moaning out his name. “That’s it baby… do you like that?” He asked and trailed his fingers down the bottom of the membrane, finding the spot that had you leaking on the thin layer of underwear separating your bare folds and his covered shaft.
“I think I found it.” He whispered and took the hand that was on your breast, quickly plunging it into your folds.
“Azriel,” you moaned, bucking your hips as his fingers curled inside you. His shadows came out from the corner, swirling around that sensitive spot on your wings as he dragged his fingers across it. His thumb reached up and pressed your bundle of nerves, you letting out a yell as that brought you over the edge. Your fluids pulsed out from you, still clenching around Azriel’s fingers as he slowly pulled them out.
You watched as he brought them to his mouth and sucked, letting out a moan of his own. “Delicious.” He whispered and turned your face completely, kissing you deeply.
Still reeling from the orgasm, you barely noticed as he flipped over so he was on top of you, his hands pulling off the fabric covering the bulge.
“I don’t think I can wait any longer, sweetheart.” Azriel whispered as he kissed you again, his hand trailing down to pump his shaft a few times, and then coated it with your slick.
You bucked your hips at the feeling, looking down to see the large cock that was just about to enter your folds. “Don’t hold back. I need you, Az.” You whispered, then looked up at him as he slowly entered you.
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear.” He said and kissed you deeply, swallowing your moan as he pushed inside.
He eased in, groaning against your lips as you squeezed his cock. “You’re so tight. Cauldron…” he ground out.
“Az… gods you’re so big.” You whined, pulling away to rest your head on his shoulder.
He looked down, almost finishing at the sight of you stretching around him. He eased in all the way, planning to let you adjust for a moment until you took the bottom of his wing in between your fingers.
He lost control, pulling out and pounding into you. “You’ll be the death of me, sweetheart.” He said. “Keep doing that.” He said.
You whimpered and squeezed your fingers slightly, your other hand holding onto him as he relentlessly pounded in and out of you. Gods, you knew he was huge but the feeling on him inside of you, stretching you out to the brink of tearing you apart…
“Keep squeezing me like that and I won’t hold on much longer,” he said.
You squeezed your eyes shut, gasping as he hit the right spot, your folds continuing to squeeze and convulse around his large shaft.
“Please.. don’t.” You whispered. “Let go, Az.”
He grabbed your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “You look at me while I fill you, hmm?” He said it like a question, but you knew it was an order.
“Yes,” you whispered and stared into his eyes as he pounded into you. You came undone again as he took that sensitive spot on your wing in his fingers. He did the same when you reached around, touching the corresponding spot on his wing as well.
He spilled his seed inside of you, coming to a halt as you convulsed around his shaft. “Azriel… that was incredible.” You said, your voice hoarse from the yelling.
He hummed and slowly pulled out of you. You whimpered and held onto his shoulders, digging your nails into them as he did. You let out a shaky breath, pouting as you saw him get up and disappear into your bathing room. He came out with a cloth, kissing your neck as he cleaned you up. Your hips bucked one last time at the sensation, still sensitive from your orgasm.
You watched as he laid down next to you. “I think it was more than incredible, sweetheart.” He whispered and kissed you sweetly. “It was extraordinary.” He said.
You settled on his chest, your breathing slowing. You glanced out the window, smiling as you saw the spirits still flying by. You smiled as you said, “I guess what they say about wingspan is true.”
A/N: Their special Starfall night...
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#acotar#azriel x reader#acotar fanfiction#acotar fic#acotar spoilers#the shadowsinger#azriel spymaster#azriel shadowsinger#katie writes#azriel smut
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Hey bear I have a request if you don’t mind but how about Steven with a gamer bf. So bf has been playing a lot and Steven wants some attention which leads to Steven trying to talk dirty into his ears. Which leads to him grinding on his legs to still gets his attention which then leads to him riding riding reader and overstimulating himself in the process.-🐻❄️(50%)
STEVEN GRANT X GAMER MALE READER
Heyy, And no I don’t mind at all thank you for requesting!! I missed writing for Steven so I’m back to my roots.
⚠️Warnings!! PRETTY LONG Overstimulation, riding, jerking off, blowjob, multiple orgasms, needy Steven, dirty talk, making a mess, detailed sex. And etc.⚠️
Steven hated the constant loop of his distracted boyfriend. He didn’t know if he was either being dramatic or clingy. Y/n always in the corner of the room at his gaming set up playing video games with his friends.
Steven could even wake up from a nap and his boyfriend would still be playing. The only time Y/n wasn’t playing was when he was at work or on the phone with the said friends.
The Brit craved for Y/n’s touch and attention again. Every time Steven made a attempt to grab Y/n’a attention it was the same. “After I finish this match,” or “In ten more minutes.” It was excuse after excuse and Steven was so tired of it.
Today Steven came back from work it was a real hard day at the museum and he wanted nothing more then just to be in his boyfriend’s arms.
He came through the apartment just about to announce himself but once he reached the bed, he only saw Y/n sitting in his gaming chair with his headphone mic on playing some popular game as he talked and laughed with them. Steven really hated seeming clingy, but he hated those friends. They would all playfully flirt with one another and make dirty jokes. Steven even saw once Y/n using his character to kiss his friend’s own character.
Steven walked over to Y/n and tugged on the sleeve of his shirt. “Y/n…hey i-I’m home.” Y/n looked at Steven and smiled before softly pressing his lips to Steven’s cheek as an small greeting. But that small bit of affection wasn’t enough for Steven. He craved and desired more.
Steven walked over to Y/n’s desk and stood behind him, Y/n, who was focused intently on his computer. They had been a couple for a few months now and Steven loved Y/n with all of his heart, but sometimes, he felt like he came in second place to those Y/n’s online friends and video games. "Hey honey," he spoke softly, wrapping his arms around Y/n’s neck. Y/n hummed a bit in acknowledgment, but his eyes were glued to the monitor.
“But it was thinking we could have a little cuddle…?” Steven mumbled not letting go of Y/n’s sleeve. Y/n just ignored Steven and went back to playing the game. Steven slightly huffed at his attempt being ignored so bluntly.
Steven hugged him wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Steven held Y/n tightly laying his head against him wanting to get his boyfriend’s.
After an moment of Steven trying to get Y/n’s attention Steven decided to step it up a notch. He was determined to get his boyfriend’s attention.
Steven moved Y/n’s headset and moved close to his ear. “Y/n…Y/n darling please…I miss you…I’ve been so lonely.” Steven whispered in his ear. Y/n merely glanced at him before looking back towards his computer. Steven had to suppress himself from letting out a pout.
“Y/n please…I need you so bad. I want your eyes on me.” Steven said in another whisper, Steven pressed himself against Y/n wanting to get closer and closer.
Steven could tell this was affecting Y/n. The way Y/n was slowly moving his mice around trying to listen to Steven’s words as he also tried to listen to his friends words that was in his other ear.
“Don’t tell me you choosing them over me…they don’t give you any pleasure like I do, I’m the one who’s in your bed every night not them…you love me don’t you?
Steven whisperd kissing and breathing into Y/n’s ear as he slowly began to move his crotch against Y/n’s own. Steven use one of his hands to hold Y/n’s cheek holding him close.
“I want you…I need you….I missed being in your arms so much.” Steven said as he rubbed his crotch against. Steven whispered continuing to grind against Y/n legs.
While grinding himself onto Y/n, Steven hand traveled from Y/n’s shoulders down to Y/n’s sweats, he moved his hand inside and into Y/n’s boxers touching and stroking Y/n’s cock. Y/n let out a soft gasp as he kept his eyes on the computer. The Brit stared into Y/n’s eyes wanting to make eye contact with his boyfriend. Steven pulled the sweats and boxers down so Y/n’s cock was on full display.
Steven leaned down and began to lick and suck onto Y/n’s cock. He swirled his tongue around licked the base until Y/n’s hard cock was wet.
Steven put one hand onto the base of Y/n’s cock as he gave a long lick onto the cock licking and kissing under the cock striding his tongue to the balls all the way to the tip. He moved his tongue around the silt of the cock. He gave teasing and affectionate licks to both sides of his cock making sure no place is untouched before finally wrapping his lips around it.
Since Steven didn’t want to start off to fast he sucked around the tip and used his hand to jerk off the rest of Y/n’s cock that he didn’t have his lips around. He pushed the cock around his cheeks and swirled it around his tongue as he looked up at Y/n.
Steven pulled his mouth away and used his hand to jerk off the now wet cock as he pulled down his own pants and boxers. As Y/n finally looked away from the screen he brought his fingers to Steven’s mouth carefully pushing them inside to get them all wet and soaked so he could prep his boyfriend. Steven licked and sucked around Y/n’s fingers coating the and making the wet.
Once Y/n decided it’s enough he pulled his fingers away and reached down in between Steven’s legs until he was met with his hole and slowly pushing one finger inside stretching out his boyfriends hole. Steven’s breath hitched as he moaned softly holding Y/n’s shoulders. Y/n moved and entered another finger fingering his boyfriend’s hole. Steven was bent over Y/n’s legs as he was getting fingered.
Steven was letting out heavy and cracky moans, with Y/n using his free hand to be in his computer and talking to his friends.
Steven lost track of time, the only thing he was making attention to was Y/n and the pleasure his boyfriend was causing him.
After once Steven was prepared enough Y/n pulled his fingers out, Steven quickly crawled into Y/n’s lap and aligned himself to Y/n’s tip.
Steven lowered himself down on the cock himself. Steven started out slow breathing heavy and letting out a few moans under his breath as he went down on his cock. Y/n held his hips to keep him steady. With a deep breath Steven wanted to get it out the way and pushed himself down onto Y/n’s full cock at once causing him to let out a loud moan.
Y/n covered Steven’s mouth quickly praying quietly that his friends didn’t hear. “Sorry about that guys, I was watching a video on my phone.” Y/n said into his mic trying to laugh it off as Steven bounced on his cock.
Once Steven got used to it he raised his hips up before pushing himself back down. He did it in a slow motion, his ass jiggled with every moment. Steven was breathing heavy as he began to pick up his movements.
Steven bounced up and down onto Y/n’s cock holding onto Y/n’s desk as support as he rode it. Lince started to mumble under his breath probably about how thick and big Y/n’s size was.
Y/n sat back and held Steven’s hips making sure he won’t fall back. His cock was throbbing with each movement. Steven’s own cock was moving up and down as well as he rode him. Steven’s cock was leaking precum as he rode Y/n’s cock like some bunny in heat.
Steven used one of his hand’s and jerked himself off as he began to moan louder as Y/n’s cock began to hit and brush against his prostate. Y/n muted himself on his computer as he held Steven’s waist pushing Steven up and down.
Steven continued to bounce and ride on his cock faster and faster as if Y/n’s tip was glued to Y/n’s prostate. Lince felt like he was on cloud nine has he rode his cock jerking and stroking himself faster and faster as he felt his climax nearing. He loved how he felt so full and stuff with Y/n’s cock. Both men were in too much bliss and pleasure to not be focused on what’s going on whatever that was going outside of the room.
With a few more bounces Y/n watched his boyfriend shoot his long white streaks of cum onto his desk and laptop. Y/n reached his hand out and covered Steven’s mouth helping him stay quiet.
Y/n pulled out and softly guided Steven off his cock and off his lap making Steven stand up. Steven’s mind was still cloudy from pleasure but Y/n just pushed Steven against the desk and thrusted his full cock back inside. Steven was moaning as his cock was dripping cum.
Holding Steven’s hips Y/n thrusted fast and deep inside his boyfriend. Steven gripped back held the desk as he was getting pounded into.
With Y/n’s cock pushing and hitting his prostate Steven came for 2nd time, Steven shot his load again on Y/n’s keyboard and some landing onto the computer. After a few more thrust and deep grunts and groans Y/n cums deep inside Steven’s walls. Y/n kept thrusting to burry his deep seed inside of Steven.
Steven leaned back into Y/n breathing heavy and moaning, Y/n reached down and began to jerk Steven’s cock overstimulating him more.
“Since you wanted my attention so badly here you go…let’s see how many times can you cum until you can’t no more.”
THE END
#x male reader#x reader#male reader#x top male reader#x male y/n#amab reader#male reader insert#x dom male reader#x dom reader#steven grant#steven grant x reader#steven grant x male reader#marvel x male reader#marvel x reader#moon knight#moon knight x reader#the bear club
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Show & Tell (M, cold)
Mark & Matt are back! In this, Matt has an awful cold and they have a busy night. That's pretty much it lol, there's a good amount of ~drama~ because who doesn't love drama? This takes place a couple months after 'Three', when Matt and Mark are dating but haven't told Greyson or Elijah and I'll be honest I've spent a lot of time on it and don't know if I even like it lmao. I hope you guys do, though!! It might suck, who knows!! Also, there's no sick character POV - it switches between Mark and Greyson's POV.
Ok, onward. Let me know how you guys feel about it lol.
CW: Male snz, cold, contagion mention, coughing, fever.
Show & Tell
“It’s not that I don’t want them to know. You know that.”
Mark gave his boyfriend a sidelong look; did he know that? He wasn’t so sure. “Matt,” he said, treading carefully, “it’s been three months. They’re going to figure it out sooner or later.”
Matt sighed, clearly trying to choose his words carefully. “I know,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s just… I mean, Greyson can be… I don’t know… touchy, I guess, about like, relationship stuff. Especially since the whole… Collin thing. And also, he can just be an asshole about dating within the kitchen. You remember when he caught us kissing.”
“Yeah, but I mean that’s just what you guys do, right? Poke fun at each other? And the Collin thing… That was, like, a year ago, Matt. He’s a grown man.”
There was a pause, then, and Mark knew he’d gone too far. Greyson and Matt’s relationship was way more than boss and employee; Greyson had taken a chance on Matt when no one else would. He’d given him opportunities that Matt couldn’t have dreamed of as a kid, and Matt was always quick to point that out when Mark grumbled about Greyson’s anger, or when he called Matt in on his day off, or the way he made fun of Matt making doe-eyes at Mark. Greyson has been there for me since the moment I met him, he always said. You have to take the good with the bad.
More often than not, Mark found himself rolling his eyes at this statement, or muttering Whatever, babe, under his breath, but he also didn’t want to push his new beau away. If Greyson was a weird non-participatory third in their burgeoning relationship… so be it. He’d put up with it, for Matt.
“Hey, I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean that; I know, you’re right, he’s been through it.” Mark pulled Matt in for a hug, making the other man soften. “I’m just saying,” Mark said, pulling away, “that if he doesn’t already know, he’s going to have to find out eventually. Right?”
Matt shrugged, then begrudgingly nodded. “You’re right, you’re right, just… I don’t know, give me a week. Let me take him out and actually tell him so it’s not just, like, a big joke that he parades through the kitchen. Okay?”
Mark smiled. “Okay. Yes, that works. Thank you, baby.” He swept Matt’s bangs off his face, allowed a frown to settle over his own. “You feel really warm. By the way.”
Without missing a beat, Matt pulled away and ducked into the sleeve of his hoodie. “Hh-! Hh’ITSZH-ue!”
“Bless you.”
“I’m okay,” Matt said in response. “Like I said before, I think it’s just allergies.”
“...Fever-inducing allergies?”
“Honey,” Matt said, pulling a hand down his face, “please drop it. We have like two hundred on the books tonight, it’s not like I could call out or anything.”
“So you feel badly enough to call out?” Mark asked, crossing his arms. Matt sighed, loudly enough for Mark to hear the congestion in his chest rattle.
“No,” Matt said. “I don’t.”
“Mmm.”
“Can we go back to arguing about me telling Greyson and Elijah we’re dating? I’d prefer that over getting the third degree about what is, at most, a cold,” Matt said, rubbing his nose on his sleeve. Mark raised an eyebrow.
“So now it’s a cold. Moments ago, you said it was allergies. What’s it going to be by the time you get to work? Bubonic plague?”
“I was thinking something a little more modern. Maybe scarlet fever. Hh- hh’ISHHH-uhh!” Matt crumpled to the side once again, and Mark sighed.
“Hilarious,” he said, deadpan. “You should take some dayquil, or something.”
“I’m okay, honey, really,” Matt said, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you this evening, okay?”
Mark hesitated; what would a good boyfriend do here? He assumed a good boyfriend would scoop Matt into his arms and place him in bed. A good boyfriend would call in for Matt – hell, call in for both of them so he could take care of his boyfriend – and tell Greyson and Elijah to figure it out, restaurant-be-damned. He’d spoon-feed Matt soup and they’d watch Criminal Minds and talk about who on the show was the most objectively fuckable and they’d fall asleep early and in the morning, Matt would be good as new.
But a good boyfriend would also tell their bosses they were dating; a good boyfriend wouldn’t put the onus on Matt to tell Greyson before Mark told Elijah because Greyson was an objectively harder person to tell. A good boyfriend wouldn’t give Matt shit for being nervous because him telling Greyson was akin to Mark telling his own father he was gay and fuck, Matt didn’t even have a father to tell, you asshole, you inconsiderate piece of shit.
He wasn’t a good boyfriend, that much he knew. So instead of manning up in any way whatsoever, Mark nodded and kissed Matt on his hot forehead. “See you tonight,” he said, and continued to kick himself as Matt trudged out the front door.
***
“They’ll tell us when they’re ready.”
Greyson rolled his eyes so hard that they felt like they might pop out of his head. “Oh c’mon, Lij, that’s such a cop-out,” he said, snapping inventory papers onto a clipboard and clicking a pen open and shut many more times than was necessary. “It’s been, what? Like almost four months since the whole making-out-in-my-bathroom incident? And it’s not like they’re good at hiding it, I think Matt slaps Mark’s ass fifty times a day.”
“Is that really new, though? You slap Matt’s ass fifty times a day,” Elijah said, glancing up from his own, much-better-organized inventory clipboard. “I thought ass-slapping was just par for the course in this kitchen. You’ve created a culture of ass-slapping.”
“That’s within the kitchen boundary, Lij,” Greyson said, his index finger and thumb pressed together and punctuating each word of this statement. “Mark is outside the kitchen boundary. The rules are different.”
Elijah snorted out a laugh. “My mistake,” he said, flipping the first page on his clipboard and examining the second. “I figured that culture extended to the whole restaurant.”
“Damn right your mistake,” Greyson muttered. He glanced back down at his papers, then tossed the clipboard on the desk and snatched Elijah’s out of his hand to toss as well.
“Dude,” Elijah said, “I was using that.”
“Do you think Matt’s scared to tell me?” Greyson asked, ignoring Elijah’s annoyance. “It’s not like I’d care. I mean, the whole thing makes sense, they spend seventy hours a week here together. It’s not like it’s easy to find someone to date outside this place, and trust me, it’s not like he’s missing out on anything in the regular world. Shit, if you were down, I’d start dating you.”
“I’d rather eat a jean jacket than date you,” Elijah said, leaning on an elbow on the desk. “And that’s not even because you don’t have my preferred equipment, it’s because of who you are. Fundamentally. As a person.”
“I just don’t understand why he wouldn’t just tell me,” Greyson said, ignoring Elijah’s statement outright. “Matt’s my dude. He’s my muse. He’s like if I had a kid, but didn’t have to do the gross horrible raising him part. He knows he can tell me anything.”
Elijah sighed, a heavy and resigned sound, and took the bait. “Grey,” he said, “yes, he knows he can tell you anything, but he also knows he’s going to get so much shit from you when he does tell you. I’m sure he’s just trying to spare himself the three weeks of jokes about the two of them dating. Maybe, if you could be serious for five fuckin’ minutes, you could approach him and ask him, hey, are you and Mark dating?” Elijah shrugged, both hands held in front of him as though to say just an idea.
Greyson scoffed, annoyed. “You’re one to talk. It’s not like Mark has told you.”
“Yeah, but Mark and I are coworkers. We don’t have some weird father/son codependent relationship like you two. Plus, Mark is only a talker when he drinks and he hasn’t had more than a glass of wine in front of me since they got together, so he knows I know he’s avoiding the conversation.” Elijah gave Greyson a pointed look then. “I’m sure he’s waiting for Matt to tell you. Dad.”
The chef rolled his eyes again and pushed himself to a standing position. “Fine,” he said. “I’m going to talk to him about it today. And I’ll be serious.”
“Great,” Elijah said, picking his clipboard back up. “I’m happy for both of you.”
Greyson placed a hand on Elijah’s shoulder as he walked out of the office and towards the prep kitchen, a gesture to thank him for the pep talk, and Elijah nodded in understanding. It wasn’t the fact that Matt had a not-so-well-kept secret that Greyson found troubling; it was the fact that he felt like he wasn’t able to tell his boss that hurt Greyson’s feelings. The chef got set up in the prep kitchen, pulled out his chef’s knife, and began sharpening it on his steel. He really thought he’d put it in Matt’s head that he could tell him anything. Apparently he’d been wrong.
As if summoned, Matt picked that exact moment to blow through the back kitchen doors – he was wearing a sweatshirt, despite the fact that it was unseasonably warm, and his hood was up. Greyson drew his eyebrows together, confused.
“Mornin’, sunshine,” Greyson called from his prep station. Matt swung around, obviously not expecting to see his boss the moment he walked in, and his face immediately crumpled.
“Hh- hhNGTSHZ-ue!” Matt attempted to stifle a sneeze into his elbow, which backfired immediately. “ITSZZHH-ue! Hh’ITZCHH-ue! HRRSHH-ue!”
Greyson blinked, surprised, as his sous gave into the paroxysm. “Wow,” he said when Matt finally stood upright, clearing his throat. “Bless.”
Matt nodded, swallowed, winced. “Yeah. Thangks,” he said, his voice low and congested. He walked towards the prep station – slunk may have been the more appropriate word – and hoisted his knife bag onto the counter. The next few moves seemed robotic, as though the sous chef were on autopilot; push hoodie off head. Roll up sleeves. Unzip bag. Make eye contact with boss. “What ndeeds to get prepped first?”
Up close, Matt looked like an even bigger pile of hot garbage than he sounded; he was pale – sallow, Greyson thought to himself, then vocab word of the day -, his eyes red-rimmed and laden with bags. His breathing seemed painful, labored, and uneven, and before Greyson could say anything, Matt turned back to his rolled-up sleeve to cough. “Dude,” Greyson said, taking a step back.
“Sorry, sorry,” Matt muttered, getting himself together. He walked to the sink and washed his hands, then turned back to Greyson. “Better?”
“That wasn’t what I meant by ‘dude’,” Greyson said, taking a step towards his sous and slapping a hand on his forehead. “That was ‘dude’ as in ‘dude, you look like fucking shit’.”
Matt wiggled out from under Greyson’s hand, annoyed. “I’mb fine, Chef,” he said. “Tell mbe what needs to get done.”
Greyson rubbed his face and gathered his hair on top of his head, buying time. Obviously, the conversation about him and Mark was off the table for the moment, but were they not allowed to talk about Matt’s very obvious illness, either? “Did you take anything?” Greyson asked, ignoring his sous’ question with one of his own.
“I was running late. Also, I don’t ndeed anythi- ITTTSZZHH-ue! HRSHHH-uh!” Matt folded himself in half to avoid sneezing in Greyson’s face, and collapsed into a coughing fit from the force of them. Greyson pressed his lips together.
“Where’d you pick this shit up?” Greyson asked, patting Matt’s back as the younger man tried to compose himself. “You haven’t been out on the prowl with me in months, so I take no blame.”
It was an attempt – a very obvious one – to get Matt to admit he was at least seeing someone, but either Matt wasn’t taking the bait or he didn’t hear him over his own misery. He cleared his throat and stood to his full height. “Can we please just start cooking? I ndeed a distraction.”
Greyson pressed his lips together; somehow, they’d had a whole conversation without really saying anything, a whole back-and-forth with not one question answered. “Okay,” Greyson said, stepping to the side to let Matt get situated at the prep table. “I’m going to grab some shit from the walk-in. You get set up.”
Matt nodded, obviously grateful, and started setting up his things while Greyson turned towards the walk-in.
Well, he thought to himself, sarcastically. That was productive.
***
“Alright, everyone, so we have 245 on the books toni -”
“HhuhhhITSZHHH-ue! Huh-! HhhRRSHH-oo!”
The servers’ heads popped up from their notes in unison and turned towards the closed kitchen doors, ten yards away. Mark cringed; Elijah raised his eyebrows towards Greyson, and the Executive Chef sighed and stood. “I’m gonna go check and make sure he didn’t burst a blood vessel,” he joked, prompting a collective giggle from the servers. Mark felt his heart sink deep into the pit of his stomach.
At his apartment this morning, Matt had clearly been coming down with something. Since he’d arrived at work, it was clear that whatever it was had settled in nicely; Mark had only been at work for two hours, but in those he’d heard Matt sneeze more than he had the entirety of their relationship.
“Jesus,” Mark had said when he first saw Matt, doubled over behind the prep table. “That really went from zero to a hundred. I just saw you, like, four hours ago.”
Matt had attempted to clear his throat before addressing his boyfriend: “Yeah, I guess,” he said, pushing the sleeves of his hoodie down to his wrists and shivering. Mark wanted desperately to tell him to go lay down in a booth or something – better yet, to tell him to go home and go to bed – but he knew he couldn’t do either.
“Can I get you some tea?” he asked instead, shoving his hands in his pockets to keep from feeling Matt’s face for fever. Matt shook his head.
“’M fine,” he managed, picking his knife back up and wiping his hands on the front of his apron. “’S just a stupid cold.”
That had been about as far as their conversation had gone; Mark had been whisked away by Elijah to help set the floor up, and Matt had been forced to put his head back down and continue prepping. Normally, Matt would’ve been in pre-shift with the rest of the team, but Greyson had explained when everyone sat down that he was attempting to gain his second wind in the office and wouldn’t be joining.
“Anyway,” Mark continued, addressing the servers while Greyson stood to check on Matt, “like I said: 245 on the books. We do have a few VIPs…”
The servers jotted down what they needed to, and Mark finished his speech on autopilot. Elijah said something about uniforms being cleaned and pressed, and Greyson came back to join them all after a minute or two spent in the kitchen. When pre-shift ended, Greyson stopped Mark from walking away with the rest of the front of house.
“Mark,” Greyson said as the servers went to eat family meal, “hold back a second.”
Mark could feel himself immediately break into a cold sweat; Greyson never wanted to talk to him after pre-shift. Had he fucked up somehow? He knew they were too busy – overbooked, really – but Elijah had approved it. Said they needed the extra covers, since they’d be closed for a week next month. Maybe Elijah hadn’t told Greyson he’d approved the overbooking? Maybe -
“Hey, I just – I wanted to talk to you about Matt,” Greyson said when the servers had all exited to the kitchen. Mark swallowed, his throat dry. Oh.
“What about him?” Mark asked, his heart beating in his temples. Greyson huffed out a little laugh.
“You guys are dating,” he said – not a question. A statement. Mark’s face flamed.
“Did he – have you guys talked?” he asked, feeling his throat close. Greyson shook his head, a smile blooming on his face.
“Nope,” he said, palming Mark’s shoulder. “But now we don’t need to. Elijah!” he called into the kitchen, and Mark felt himself fly into action. He stumbled in front of Greyson before the chef could walk through the kitchen doors.
“Chef,” he said, holding his arms out so Greyson couldn’t get by, “you can’t tell Matt that you know. Seriously, he’ll kill me, he – I mean, he wanted to tell you himself, he said he was going to, like, sit you down and tell you and -”
“Sit me down? He’s not breaking up with me to be with you, I’m so fuckin’ confused why you guys haven’t just told us, it’s not like it’s a big deal -”
“It’s a big deal to him,” Mark said, cutting Greyson off. “It’s a big deal to Matt. I think – fuck, I don’t know, Chef, I think it’s like… you’re his person he gets to tell. You know? And he’s not feeling well and we kind of argued about it this morning and… please,” Mark said, biting his cheek to keep from crying. “Please, Chef. Just… he’ll tell you. Just wait for him to tell you.”
Greyson closed his eyes and sighed. “Fine. Okay. I’ll wait till the end of the week,” he said, moving Mark’s arm to get into the kitchen. “But if he hasn’t said anything by then, I’m saying something.”
Mark just nodded, and let Greyson by. You fucking moron, he chided himself. You absolute asshole. You gave it away, Matt is going to be so fucking disappointed, you’re such a dick, you can’t even let him have this one fucking thing. You just have to fuck everything up somehow. What the fuck is wrong with you?
What the FUCK is wrong with you?
***
Greyson would have been hard-pressed to think of a more difficult service than this one was turning out to be.
It had started fine; the flow of the evening was laid out well, the first turn went off basically without a hitch. Matt was on middle, and had loaded up on every medicine the office pharmacy had to offer, so while he was a little… high, honestly, he was at least in good spirits and able to do his job.
“We doing okay back there, everyone?” Greyson asked, peeking past the board filled with tickets to acknowledge his cooks, and Matt.
“Yes, Chef,” they answered – all except Matt, who hooted as though Greyson was a singer asking his audience how everyone was feeling out there. Greyson bit his cheek to keep from laughing.
“Only two hundred covers to go!” Greyson shouted as the printer spat out yet another ticket. “Order in, two salmon, three pork.”
About sixty covers in, things began to turn; the servers began to slow down, sending their food in as fire-alls instead of coursed out. The bar became backed up, so Mark was taking bartop guest’s orders and ringing them all in at once, sending a huge wave of tickets in at once – annoying, sure, but something they could handle. But then, tickets stopped coming in altogether – first, for five minutes. Then seven. Then ten.
“Elijah!” Greyson called into the dining room, not caring if the guests heard. The GM ran in at the sound of his name. “The fuck is going on, dude? We have ZERO tickets on the board.”
Elijah winced. “Yeah,” he said, “everyone is camping. We have like thirty people waiting to sit.” Greyson blinked.
“You’re kidding.”
“Unfortunately, I’m not.”
“So you’re telling me, at least thirty people are going to sit down all at once. And order all at once.”
Elijah nodded, solemn. “I wish I wasn’t, but yes, Chef, that’s what I’m telling you.”
Of course, by the time the first set of guests got up and the second set sat down, they had a new problem: Matt.
It was seven o’clock; Matt had taken his last dose of medicine at four, and sitting around waiting on tickets to come rolling in again had stopped the flow of adrenaline. His misery seemed to have caught up with him completely just as the tickets started printing again.
“Order in,” Greyson called for the tenth time in three minutes, “a scallop, three filets, and a venison no dairy.”
“Heard, Che – HTSHH-uh!” Matt wrenched to the side to sneeze into the sleeve of his chef’s coat, an angry, grating sound that made the cooks wince. He coughed painfully into his shoulder, obviously trying to hold back. Greyson bit his cheek.
“Bless, Chef,” he called over the line, pulling yet another stream of tickets. “Christ… ok, guys, I’m going to read all these but let’s just focus on what I just called for now, these people… I mean, they’re going to have to wait.”
“Yes, Chef,” the cooks called – all except Matt. Instead of the goofy whoops from earlier in the evening, Matt responded by ducking beneath the line.
“HRRSHH! Huh-! Hh’ITZZHH-uh! NGTSHZZH-ue! Hh… hhhuh-ITZSHH-ue!” Matt covered his head with his arms, careful not to spray them, and sneezed into his lap until he sounded hoarse. Greyson could hear him attempt to sniffle, to no avail. He stood, shakily, and cleared his throat. “Heard, Chef,” he whispered, his voice hanging on by a thread.
Greyson pressed his lips together, feeling the temperature of his blood raising. God, this fucking kid – he should’ve stayed home, what good was it doing anyone having him here, sneezing himself hoarse, coughing til he was dizzy, probably infecting all the cooks and most likely over or under cooking all the fish. Greyson wanted to snap, Pull it together, but held back.
“Bless, Chef,” he called again, pointedly. Matt just nodded, dazed.
“Go ahead and call the ndext tickets, Chef,” Matt croaked. Greyson sighed, looked up, and yanked the tickets off the printer.
“Order in,” he said again, and again, and again.
***
The dining room was a fucking disaster.
Mark’s head felt like it was screwed on backwards; he could feel himself failing, and with every misstep he hated himself more. Can’t you put the tickets in right? Tracy asked you to help take the order for 32, have you gotten over there? This bar is filled with drinks, the hell are you doing?
If the dining room wasn’t bad enough, in the kitchen Greyson was clearly about to be sent straight over the edge.
“I need runners!” he called from expo, loud enough for everyone in the dining room to hear. Mark cringed, dropped what he was doing, and ran into the kitchen. The printer wouldn’t stop; the window was filled with plates, and the servers were tripping over themselves to get the food onto trays and out into the dining room.
“Mark! Take these, table 24,” Greyson said, pressing three scorching-hot plates into the floor manager’s hands. “And come right back, this fucking food is going to go bad in about three seconds. Order in!”
Mark took the food, dropped it, assessed the red marks on his hands and wrists and headed back to the kitchen. All of this would’ve been par for the course for a Saturday night, really, if not for -
“HTTSHH! HRRRSHH-uh! Hh’NGTTSZHH-ue!”
Matt.
The whole staff could tell he was fading fast. It was eight-thirty, and since about seven he hadn’t managed to go more than a couple minutes without collapsing into a fit of sneezes or coughs. His voice was completely gone at this point, and Mark could tell – even from ten feet away – that he had a pretty significant fever. All of this seemed to just further enrage Greyson.
“Chef,” Greyson called behind the line. “Get your third wind, I’m fucking dying up here I need this food out now! Order in, three salmon, two filets!”
“Yes, Chef,” Matt called, his voice so mangled Mark wasn’t sure how he’d even managed to get the words out. God, this was bad. This was so fucking bad.
***
There was no way they were going to get through all these tickets. There was just no fucking way.
It all felt like a nightmare at this point; Greyson was up to his elbows in tickets that just kept flowing. The food was dying in the windows, servers were grabbing shit that wasn’t theirs and fucking up what little flow they had going. Elijah was pouring free wine because ticket times were over forty minutes. And Matt was completely and totally stick-a-fork-in-him done.
At nine-fifteen, with twenty tickets on the board, Greyson looked up to ask his sous if table 55 was going to be up anytime soon; only to see Matt, caught in pre-sneeze torture with a knife in his right hand, moments away from splitting his left hand open.
“Matt!” Greyson screamed, and the sous chef snapped out of his daze and dropped the knife onto the cutting board. He gasped at the realization that he’d been millimeters away from maiming himself.
Enough is enough, Greyson thought to himself. “Mark!” he called into the dining room, not caring who could hear him. “Come and get your biohazard boyfriend and take him fucking home!”
The kitchen went completely silent. Matt blinked, clearly trying to unpack what he’d just heard, before wrenching to the side. “HHHITSZZHH-ue!”
Mark and Elijah burst into the kitchen then; tickets lined the board. Food lined the window. Matt was crouched down behind the line, and Greyson’s eyes were wild.
“Take him home,” Greyson said, making eye contact with Mark. “Or to urgent care. Or maybe straight to the cemetery. I don’t care where he goes, but he needs to get off my line.”
Mark nodded, and stepped behind the line to gather Matt, who slumped into his boyfriend’s arms. Greyson watched Mark hold Matt close, felt his chest contract when he heard his sous chef whisper, “Baby, I don’t feel good,” into his boyfriend’s chest.
“Go,” Greyson insisted. Mark helped Matt off the line, lead him into the office and pulled his hoodie over his chef’s coat, and walked him towards the back exit. Thank you, Mark mouthed to Greyson, who just nodded in response.
Once they were through the back doors, Elijah stepped forward. “Get back there and help them,” he said. “I’ll do expo. We’ll get through it.”
“We always do,” Greyson muttered, and pushed past his cooks to get to the middle of the line. “Alright: let’s land this fuckin’ bitch of a night in the harbor.”
***
The quiet calm of Matt’s apartment was in such direct opposition to the prior evening at work that Mark felt he might actually have whiplash.
The floor manager checked his phone for the tenth time since he’d woken up twenty minutes before. Elijah, via text, had filled him in about what happened after he and Matt left; it had been a shit show, but they’d gotten it done. There had been worse nights, Elijah said, though Mark couldn’t remember one. His boss let him know that he’d closed the restaurant for the day, to give everyone a well-deserved break. Thank God.
Greyson had texted both Mark and Matt apologizing for outing their relationship, and told Matt he could take as much time off as he needed – not that Matt had seen it yet. The sous chef had passed out the second his head hit the pillow the night previous, and he hadn’t stirred in over twelve hours.
Mark had responded to Greyson; it’s all good, Chef, though he wasn’t sure he really believed himself. He was glad that Greyson had told Mark to step up, to get Matt out and take care of him. But Matt… fuck, he was going to be upset when he woke up.
Speaking of which.
“Has anyone ever told you you text really loud?” Matt croaked quietly over Mark’s shoulder. Mark slammed his phone onto the bed and rolled over to face his boyfriend.
“No, I don’t think I’ve gotten that one before,” Mark said, caressing Matt’s face. Matt smiled, a little sadly. “How’re you feeling?”
“Mmm. Like hot fuckigg garbage,” Matt whispered, closing his eyes. “Tired. Shitty. Fuckigg embarrassed.”
Mark pressed his lips together; he wasn’t sure what to say. He settled on: “Can I make you some tea?”
Matt huffed out a little laugh that turned into a nasty-sounding cough. “In a mbinute,” he said, “I just wandt to lay with you for now.”
So they did. A silence fell over the two of them – Mark stroking Matt’s hot face, Matt with his eyes closed. After a few minutes, Matt opened his red, rheumy eyes. “So, he kndows.”
Mark felt his heart sink. “Yeah,” he said. “I guess he does.”
Silence surrounded them again. “I guess I should’ve kndown,” Matt said.
“I’m sorry,” Mark said. Matt smiled a little.
“You were right,” he teased. “You’re always right.”
“I’m rarely right,” Mark corrected. “But I think we made it pretty obvious.”
“Mmm,” Matt hummed again. A beat went by where neither of them said anything, until Matt’s body took over. “HHRSSHH-uhhh!” he sneezed, exhausted, into his hand and wiped it on the comforter. Mark couldn’t help but laugh.
“Bless you,” he said. Matt smiled, eyes closed.
“You’re gonna get so sigck,” he muttered, on the edge of sleep again already.
“Yeah,” Mark said, pressing a soft kiss onto his boyfriend’s lips. “That sounds accurate.”
Matt opened his eyes, slowly. “You kndow I love you. Right?”
A firework lodged itself into Mark’s aorta, blew his heart right to bits. “Really?” he asked, the wrong answer, but his first reaction all the same. Matt laughed in earnest.
“Really,” he said, closing his eyes again.
“I love you, Matt. God, I love you,” Mark said, kissing Matt’s lips again. “I’m sorry about last night. I love you. Thank you. I love you.”
Matt opened one eye this time, touched Mark’s face, and closed it again. “Thangk you,” he murmured. “’M gonna go back to sleep ndow. If that’s cool with you.”
“Go to sleep, baby,” Mark said, his heart so full he was sure it would burst. “I love you.”
And even though Matt was already snoring by the time he had said it again, he couldn’t seem to stop muttering it in time with his boyfriend’s snores. I love you. I love you. I love you.
#whiskeyswriting#snz#sickfic#snzfic#snzblr#coldfic#male cold#male snz#contagion#coughing#fever#ugghhhhh do i like this??? idk. i think it might suck honestly LMAOOOO#whatever!!!! it's out there now sooooo there's that
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it bothers us because you have delusions that martell princess who was raped but nobody except her family was bothered by it cause she was so irrelevant suddenly should matter more than Jon Targaryen's parents who according to canon 'he loved her she loved him' and their love brought about the birth of the prince who was promised
suck on it irrelevant ugly woman stans and you have the gall to compare princess viserra to her when viserra was million more beautiful than the dornish scum and her ill spawn could ever be
Jon WHO? LMAO. I wasn't going to post this - my moots & followers don’t deserve to read this shit - but it made me laugh more than the others
Rhaegar chose Lyanna, I agree.... but it was to die. Do you think he wouldn't have taken here somewhere safer and with more people to ensure > her < safety during childbirth if he wanted to? Please.
He could've let Elia die in a third pregnancy and be free from her and marriage duties. The thing is that the moment he found out it might happen he went "no❤️".
Also, I'd be embarrassed to use the show as source. Especially if my pRoMisEd pRiNcE's end was that one.
'Ugly woman' and that's her:
"The crowning of the Stark girl, who was by all reports a wild and boyish young thing with none of the Princess Elia’s delicate beauty."
I can't believe you're so obsessed to the point of seeing posts I don't tag😭. Go use that time to read the books, they're fun.
On a more serious note [tw: rape]:
You are disgusting. Do you know how hard someone has to try to be worse than some ASOIAF men?
‘In Casterly Rock, it was common knowledge that Gregor Clegane had killed Elia and her babe. They said he had raped the princess with her son’s blood and brains still on his hands.’
That’s what you are mocking. I don’t care that she’s a fictional character, what you and your rabble say about her is truly sickening, it’s heartbreaking that you get to vote.
Someone who’s not from her family and cares a lot about what happened is Ned. I’m sorry if his own sister’s death didn’t influence his non-Jon decisions but Elia’s did.
Thus, one of the reasons he gives Cersei the chance to escape is his memory of Elia and her children's bodies presented to Robert and his reaction, you can’t even deny how much it affected him.
‘Ned had named that murder; Robert called it war. When he had protested that the young prince and princess were no more than babes, his new-made king had replied, “I see no babes. Only dragonspawn.” Not even Jon Arryn had been able to calm that storm. Eddard Stark had ridden out that very day in a cold rage [...]’
A few other quotes:
‘Tyrion watched the faces of the Lords Tyrell, Redwyne, and Rowan, wondering if any of the three would be bold enough to say, “But Lord Tywin, wasn’t it you who presented the bodies to Robert, all wrapped up in Lannister cloaks?” None of them did, but it was there on their faces all the same. Redwyne does not give a fig, he thought, but Rowan looks fit to gag.’
"Cersei is frightened of you, my lord … but she has other enemies she fears even more. [...] In Dorne, the Martells still brood on the murder of Princess Elia and her babes.
‘Some nights, Ser Barristan wondered if he had not done that duty too well [...] m. Princess Elia and the children. Aegon just a babe, Rhaenys with her kitten. Dead, everyone, yet he still lived, who had sworn to protect them.’
‘The Dornishmen burn to avenge Elia and her children [...]’
I know you can’t relate but Elia was loved. It wouldn’t matter if ‘only her family’ cared, what happened to her was brutal and nothing changes it. You people just come off as rude, uneducated and ignorant.
Fun fact: the name 'Elia' is mentioned 75 times throughout the series, 'Lyanna' 53 and 'Rhaegar', thanks to Dany, 258
#i'm sorry but i'm going to tag because jon targaryen is GOLD#at this point it's probably just a closeted elia stan trying to make us laugh i swear#elia martell#tw: rape
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Fortnight | J.H.S
Summary: You realize that things with Jake aren't going to work out.
Content Warnings: Angst (LOTS of it)
Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x reader
Lyric: "Thought of calling you, but you won't pick up. 'Nother fortnight lost in America."
A note: I've been loving TTPD so I've decided to write fanfics inspired by the album! Each fic will be based on a different track/lyric, and they will all be about different characters! Some will be smutty, others not so much.
You thought that you were happy with Jake. Really, you did. Despite the fact that both of you were out of town, you had managed to stay together for almost a year and you were already moved in. You had met each other’s families a few times, and everything seemed to be going good. That was until you started to have work trip after work trip with your promotion, and he had what felt like back-to-back deployments.You only had two months and some weekends together out of the upcoming year, as far as both of you knew.
It was starting to get to a point where you were considering leaving and moving back home. Maybe this wasn’t a lifestyle that you were cut out for. Penny would come by the apartment a few times a week when you were both gone to dust and make sure that nothing was stolen, but it wasn’t an ideal situation at all. You finally broke down and cried three months into Jake’s deployment.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore… I did the math and we’ll barely see each other over the next year. We both travel a lot for our jobs now, but I didn’t think it would be like this,” you said, over wine with your girl friends from work.
“Aw, hun, I know exactly how you feel. Things on your end should be calming down in the next few months. I wasn’t home much in my first year, either,” Estelle said.
“But that’s the thing, I don’t know if I can make it a few more months. I feel like I’m missing out on what the other couples are doing because my boyfriend is overseas doing God knows what and I’m always on another plane.”
“You should try to give him a call when you sober up. Tell him what you want.”
You finished your glass of wine and went back up to your hotel room. Calling him late at night would be too much work, and you were too tired to even try it. So, you tried to call him in the morning when you were feeling better, like Estelle said.
“Hey, this is Hangman. Leave a message.”
You sighed and heard the tone beep before taking a deep breath and taking a moment to think of what you were going to say.
“Hey, I really need to talk to you about something. It’s important. Call me back when you get the chance.”
He have good enough service to check his voicemails and text messages until it was around dinner time for you. And of course, his phone was barely working, so all he could get from the message was that it was from you and you were upst about something.
“Rooster, man, I need to borrow your phone! My girl called, she was upset about something.”
“Alright, but make it quick. I told my wife I’d call her as soon as I got the chance.”
“Thanks, I owe you.”
Jake sat on his bed before he dialed your number. It was so relieving to hear your voice, and you didn’t sound so upset this time.
“Hello?” You asked.
“Hey, it’s me. My phone’s being a piece of shit right now so I only heard part of your message. Is everything okay?”
You sighed and sat on the hotel bed.
“No, actually. Jake, I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can make this work anymore.”
“What… What do you mean by that?”
“I love you, but I don’t know if all of the distance and us traveling all the time will work out. We’ll hardly be seeing each other at all this year, I did the math. And, you know, I thought being a Navy girlfriend would be easy, but that was before I got promoted. I know that none of this has been planned, but I’m traveling so much that I don’t know if this relationsip will work anymore.”
“Fuck, okay, well, maybe there’s something I can do, right?”
“I don’t want you to lose your job because of me, and I don’t wanna jinx it but, it seems like I’m the only reason you’d come home early, and there isn’t an emergency.”
“So, what’s next?”
“Well, I’m gonna start looking for places soon. There’s a chance I’ll be moved out by the time you get back. I’m really sorry, Jake. Truly.”
“I am, too.”
You weren’t in a rush to move out, but you did start to put non-essential things in boxes while you looked for apartments. There was a brief moment where you thought of moving back home to New Hampshire, but it wouldn’t really work out because of your job. Between traveling for work and awkwardly exchanging texts with Jake and the Dagger Squad, you were finally moved out after a month and a half.
The last time that you saw Jake, it was when you met up to fill out paperwork to be removed from the lease. You still felt awful about everything. He’d try to call you over the next few months, but you never answered. You never read any of his texts, either.
“Hey! If you’re hearing this, I’m busy. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you!”
He quickly got used to hearing your voicemail, and eventually stopped calling.
Taglist:
@littlebadariell @cycbaby @luckyladycreator2 @idontcare-11 @blue-aconite @maverick-wingman @shawty-fenty @littlemisstopgun @rosiahills22 @katieshook02 @justanothermagicalsara @caitsymichelle13 @smoothdogsgirl @adoringsebstan @cherrycola27 @alexxavicry @mrsjaderogers @mak-32 @thefandomimagines @tallrock35 @caatheeriinee07 @bradshawseresinbabe @atarmychick007 @3sriracha @genius2050 @halstead-severide-fan @withakindheartx @Lolliepops2501 @avengersfan25
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#hangman x reader#jake seresin x reader#jake hangman seresin#x reader#top gun maverick#reader insert#top gun#the tortured poets department#ttpd
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Perv Johnny Soap Mactavish with a somnophillia kink x afab fem reader, MDNI !!!
tags: johnny mactavish, soap cod, soap mactavish, john soap mactavish, soap smut, john soap mactavish x reader, soap x reader, soap x reader smut, soap mw2, cod x reader, cod soap, johnny soap mctavish, johnny soap mactavish, cod smut, call of duty x reader, call of duty smut
cw: somnophillia, non consensual play, stalking, mentions of pillow humping, sex toys, pantie sniffing, mentions of sa (the word r*pe) cumming untouched, male masturbation, mentions of gagging, mentions of ejaculation tasting bad, non consensual pornography, mentions of regurgitating (no actual v*miting), mentions of violence (no actual violence)
A/N: been a while since i’ve posted something so I hope you guys enjoy!! I rushed the end a little but i’m struggling with writing so cut me some slack!! the cw makes it sound a lot darker than it actually is but i just want to make people aware of some of the topics in this!! i hope you enjoy!!!
Soap was a disgusting and dirty man. He came across the usual sweet caring soldier he always pretends to be. Someone eager to get things done, eager to do well but deep down he wasn’t as innocent and nice as the character he portrayed.
He was good at hiding the desires too. Quick to make a run to the bathroom to rub one out when you bend over, quickly getting in a few exercises before the next mission. Quiet enough to keep his grunts in his throat as his cock paints his underwear white at the sight of you.
He wouldn’t call it an obsession but you really did something to him. There was something about your dirt covered clothes with sweat and grime staining your skin that opened his eyes and made him fall still. You weren’t the first woman he’d worked with but you were the first he’d set his eyes on, the first he’d substantially claimed for himself.
Then things began to get bad, being on missions with you were too risky. Of course he’d jump a bullet for you and protect you consistently but he found himself getting distracted- more so than before.
Your body sprawled out in front of him, that hot little mouth that wouldn’t stop panting out orders. How could he not imagine you just like that in his bed naked?
He felt like he was back to being a teenager, one hand on his dick and the other clutching his mothers stolen magazine opened on page 3. It was embarrassing how horny he was and under what circumstances, so he did the mature thing and decided to try put an end to it.
Picking your front door lock was easy- too easy and if he had a good excuse as to why he was checking your lock he would alert you of it immediately. You work in the military, making enemies daily and the lock at your home is that easy to break? What if when you came home someone had let themselves in, waiting for you to come back and stab you in the throat.
Shaking off that thought, he’d bolt upstairs and snatch what he could without it being noticeable. Your panties- used and washed. The cushion he’d seen you ride and cum over because it’s normal to peek through your crushes window, right? An old vibrator, a bottle of your perfume, body lotion. All the things he could possibly think of that would turn him on, he’d taken. Shoved in his pocket before leaving and going back home.
And when he was home, oh was it fun. He’d strip off his clothes and lay on his bed, stringing your clean, cute, frilly little panties over his already hard dick. Maybe if he didn’t make a mess on them, he’d return them, knowing that something his throbbing cock touched would be so close to your sweet ol’ cunt.
Your used panties on the other hand, would lay on his face, your scent still prominent on the fabric and cascading into his nostrils. Maybe he’d lick a stripe down the middle, maybe he’d shove it all in his mouth and force himself to gag on it, but as of right now your smell was doing enough for him.
He’d coat his hands with your favourite lotion, the scent of you on the panties and the smell of your skin earning a grunt from his mouth: he’d probably sprayed your perfume around his room before this too-to get himself started and in the mood obviously.
It was like you where there, in his hands, over his body and he could do whatever the fuck he wanted with you. As he thrusted into his hand he’d think of you, eyes darting to your pillow and vibrator. Would you ever think of him while you used them?
He strained his other hand out, reaching and turning on the sexy device and watching it flicker and pulse while the settings slowly got more powerful.
“Fuck..” He groaned, his fist shaking faster and faster to the thought of you. It made him fucking wild.
Did you have this against your clit imagining his tongue? Did you use this over and over, your back arching with eyes squinted shut while you thought of him? His name leaving your mouth? His name being screamed?
And with them thoughts hed cum, shooting high in the air, coating your panties and his stomach. He’d wash them later probably, or maybe just wipe it a bit and let the rest of the cum dry before slipping to back into your bedroom drawer.
Surprisingly though, it did nothing to tame his desires, if anything it worsened them. He’d sometimes stuff your dirtied panties in his pocket and bring them to work, talking to you- face to face- as his fingers clutched the soft material.
“I think i’m going crazy, things just seem to be going missing at my house.” You’d tell him gaining a small gasp of surprise from him. Your face looking away as you bite your lip anxiously.
“God that sucks, do ya think your misplacing em?” He’d ponder aloud, keeping his smirk in as he comforted you. Hates seeing how worried you get over this, so he’d support you as much as you he could. Deep down he wishes he could just hand them back over to you or leave them back in the place he found them but he couldn’t return everything. What if you found that little cum stain he’d left? He was certain you were a virgin and if you found that you’d definitely panic and get the wrong idea.
Johnny wasn’t a stalker or some sex driven psychopath who wants to rape and kill you. He’s just a friend who finds you attractive, and he needs a few things to help relieve himself. Isn’t that what friends do? Help each other out?
“I don’t know.. I’m sorry if this is too much information, but it’s usually my underwear that gets lost. I’m scared I have a stalker or something..” His cock throbbed as you admitted that to him, your plump lips quivering slightly as you attempted to mask your fear. Johnnys rough hand came and met your back giving you a soothing rub and he smiled as you. Earning a small jump and wide eyes in return.
“Don’t worry lassie, even if there is one i’m here to protect ya! I’m sure your knickers will turn up somewhere.. Probably just stuffing em elsewhere by mistake.”
His Scottish accent and meaningful words would always bring you a feeling of comfort, as the both of you were getting so close. The two of you arranged meet-ups with the team and without, you trained together and you really were building your friendship. Sometimes you’d even ask yourself if there was anything more there, maybe a possible romance but you didn’t want to ruin what you had at this moment and pushed your thoughts into the future: the chemistry was definitely there though. He was someone you trusted and everyone knew that, so it was no surprise when you were injured out in the field, the team ordered Soap to drive you home.
He’d watch as you pass out, over and over again most likely from tiredness, Price really pushed the team far with that last mission but as always, everyone buckled down and completed it efficiently. Soap occasionally leaned over bolting you awake with a gentle slap of your cheek because he knew he was losing control of himself. The sight of you unconscious next to him as he drove your car home made him mad- feral. Such a sweet innocent girl totally oblivious to the white knuckles that clenched your steering wheel, and the outline of his hard cock that stood upright as he drove.
Your house wasn’t far from his- walking distance in fact, and funnily enough you had to drive past his house in order to get to yours. Johnnys eyes flicked to the light spilling through the window coming from his bathroom en-suite. He exhaled a sigh, cursing himself out under his breath as he pulled up and onto the drive.
The team trusted him to drive you home safely, to make sure you were safe and asleep in your own home but how would they even know he brought you here. He only needed to pop in quickly anyway. The seatbelt hit the side of your car and he took the keys out and left quickly, glancing back at the windshield and stopping before he reached his door.
What if someone was following the two of you and leaving you out here alone could result in your death? What if you vomited and chocked and he wasn’t there to save you? What if- But deep down he knew he’d bring you inside regardless.
Swooping you up in his arms bridal-style and carrying you inside, you disliked being lifted and he knew this but he couldn’t wake you now. You’d probably tell him something like “It’s fine, i can drive home anyway. Don’t worry.” And he wanted you with him. Plopping you down on his bed, he walked over to the door, before flipping the switch and walking back over to the bed.
His eyes flickered to your body, the soft fall and rise of your chest and the obvious tent in his military cargos. It was dangerous having you here and even he knew that. Luckily enough the items he had stolen were stashed under his bed however for some reason he wished they were out, scattered around you without you knowing.
His hands reached out to brush the hair on your face out the way and tucked it behind your ear, revealing your face and the slight drool dripping from the crack of your lips.
“Pretty lil thing aren’t ya? Hm?” He asked you in a whisper despite there not being a response. He felt as your body warmed under his hand and hummed in delight, his thumb swatting the saliva away and tracing the soft skin of your cheeks. His stomach fluttering like a butterfly house.
Everything felt tight, the room, his cargos, your shirt and he found himself slipping out of control. Hands rubbing the smooth skin of your tummy and chest beneath your top careful not to graze the small wound, before pulling the material up just below your tits, you weren’t wearing a bra, his eyes settled on your skin.
“How fucking adorable.” He growled, and it wasn’t long before he wanted and required more.
Now, he wasn’t going to fuck you or taste you as much as he wanted too. You were going to be awake when he did that, he needed to hear you moan his name, push his head deeper between your thighs, or fuck back onto his cock shamelessly needing to reach your own orgasm. But it didn’t mean he couldn’t toy with you now. You were his little puppet and he wanted to make a show out of you, all for himself.
His hands rushed to his cargos quickly fishing his phone and the panties out of his pockets, throwing his phone on the duvet and hiding your panties under the bed with the rest of them. God he couldn’t fucking wait any longer.
He started unbuckling his belt and pushing them down to his ankles along with his boxers. Smiling down at you as his dick leaked like a broken tap and sprung upright. He cupped it, stroking it a few times his eyes closing at how much he’d been waiting for this. The amount of nights he had laid in the same spot as you were, jerking himself just like he was doing now.
His hand let go of himself watching as he twitched crazily in need of something to fuck. He could get out that cushion again, the one you used to ride naked against. He’d made a sweet little hole in that one and left plenty of stains and could add one more right in front of you, but he wanted you.
His hand reached out grabbing your chin and dragged your face along to the other side. The warm air from your nose hitting his palm and he slowly pulled your jaw down, opening your mouth. His heart fluttered in his chest at the sight and he itched his body closer, placing his swollen tip against your mouth.
His hand tapped himself against your lips leaving a small string of precum as he leaked over your lips. The sight was heavenly and he bit his lip trying his best not to lose control and start fucking into your mouth. His precum glossed your lips and something in him snapped. He couldn’t give up a sight like this and keep it as a memory-his other hand dashed over grabbing his phone.
It was just material he’d use for later, you would understand. His phone snapped a few pictures of your pretty little face and his dick against your lips, he even videotaped himself edging over you and watching as his precum dripped off and fell on you. His fingers dug into your mouth and grabbed your tongue before tugging it out slowly careful not to wake you, groaning at the sight.
“Sweet little angel..” He moaned. His tip hit your tongue and whimpers fell out his mouth at the feeling. It wasn’t as wet as he’d imagined but his dick made up for that with its own wetness. He jerked himself faster, legs trembling almost as he felt himself get close. Next time he’d cum in your mouth. He couldn’t risk waking you up or god forbid making you choke, it was a hazard and he didn’t want to take his chances.
His breathing became jagged and he stroked faster and faster, his aim worsening as he felt your warm breath hover over his cock. With one last tug he came undone, shooting white all over your shirt and on your chin and neck. Missing your mouth luckily. His thumb swept up a bead of his cum from your chin and he transferred it onto your tongue knowing that when you awoke you’d taste him, his diet wasn’t the best and he probably didn’t taste wonderful but he was too horny to care.
Johnny took a step back to admire his work with smile on his face and he took a few pictures of the end result. He found you so so beautiful like that, all messed up and solemnly relaxed. He wished he could stay in this moment forever but unfortunately the sound of his phone chiming brought him out of his trance. He’s got to get you cleaned up and home.
He slipped back into his cargos again and refastened his belt still breathing heavy from his orgasm. Slowly he lifted you back up and carried you to the bathroom propping you up on the counter. He felt as your head hit his shoulder and he let out a small laugh before lifting up your shirt, threading your arms out carefully and throwing it into his wash basket, blending in with his shirts similar in colour.
He rinsed a facial towel under warm water for a few seconds before whipping off himself off you, trying to be gentle and not to wake you but taking subtle glances at your breasts as he cleaned you up. Your skin was soft and warm under his touch and he found himself already becoming hard again but he ignored it for now, he’d pleasure himself later with the new photos he’d taken.
“Mmmm.. Johnny?” A voice mumbled tiredly and close to his ear and he froze sensing you were awake. The smell of him sent your stomach into swirls and your head flipped back. Rubbing your eye’s and opening them slightly. Johnny watched as your face scrunched up in disgust while your tongue lapped the roof of your mouth, swallowing down the unfamiliar taste. Really, he should be ashamed of what he did, it was perverted of him but it just turned him on more, making his cock harder in his underwear.
“You awake? Sorry bonnie, I was driving you home and you vom’ed over yourself. I was going to wake you but figured you needed some sleep. Just popped into mine and got you cleaned up.” Your eyes held his, so innocent and pure and blatantly unaware of the previous activities. But as you took in your surroundings you gave him a small smile and met his eyes once more.
“Thanks. I can drive myself home now don’t worry about me.” You mumbled pushing off the counter. Soap was about to protest but the throb of his dick kept him quiet and he cleared his throat trying his best not to glance back at your tits.
And with his small throat clearing you realised you were shirtless. Your face instantly burning red as you reached up to cover yourself, beginning to form a sentence of apology or something alongside that but he cut you off shaking his head.
“Don’t worry lass it’s nothing I haven’t seen before. I’ll get you one of my shirts to put on. Threw yours in the bin since it was covered in dirt and blood anyway.” He walked over to his wardrobe pulling out a t-shirt and threw it your way with a comforting smile and you caught it quickly.
“Thank you Johnny.” You smiled, slipping it over yourself and walking over to join him in the bedroom. It was quite an open space and you smiled as the air smelt of him with a subtle hint of something familiar, smelt similar to your perfume but you shrugged it off. His hands rummaged over the drawer and picked out your keys, tossing them to you. He grabbed his phone off the bed shutting it off and began walking you down the stairs towards the front door. You took a step outside the cold air hitting your bare arms before turning back to meet his eyes, there was something different in them but you couldn’t place what.
“Drive home safely. Any problems give me a call.” His hand tapped the back of his phone and smiled at you widely, you nodded back to him smiling again and thanking him for cleaning you up before unlocking the car and slipping inside. The air didn’t smell funky or like vomit which was a good thing and you checked the seats seeing not a single drip on them. You breathed out a happy sigh, putting the car into drive.
Completely and utterly unaware to his dirty and sexual shenanigans and what photos he was currently scrolling through as he drove.
#johnny mactavish#soap cod#soap mactavish#john soap mactavish#soap smut#john soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#soap x reader smut#soap mw2#cod x reader#cod soap#johnny soap mctavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish#cod smut#call of duty x reader#call of duty smut
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a short crappy essay about emily
The writing of girl characters in TTTE genuinely infuriates me. There’s a lot of girl characters who were done absolutely dirty, but it always comes back to Emily for me.
Emily had agency and attitude and purpose in S8-12 and it was erased in favor of a “hi. I’m nice. Im the girl character” nothing one-note personality. What do we know about post HiT era Emily? (And honestly, S7 Emily too. Her introduction is kind of weak in my opinion). She wants to help out. She’s safety oriented. She’s… I don’t know. You could replace her with Rosie or Rebecca or whoever in the cgi episodes where she’s driving the story, and nothing would change. I can’t name any major differences between Emily post-rewrite and Rosie in her entire tenure. Aside from how they’re introduced to Thomas and interact with him, really… which sucks. They don’t have major differences in characterizations outside interacting with a male lead.
AND the worst part is that there are moments where you can SEE they were crafting bold, interesting girl characters and they were either completely sanitized or forgotten about. Molly has a very particular basis. It's not a flashy type where the engine’s basis is the center of the character’s entire personality/marketing/etc (Mighty Mac and Hank come to mind). It feels clear to me that Molly was going to be more important. And then… she wasn’t. She appeared like 3 times, said nearly nothing and never appeared again. I wish I lived in a world where Emily kept her bossy personality and had this contrasted by Molly’s shyness and timidity.
In my perfect world, Emily is bossy and important, and has some complexes about not needing help or knowing more than others. She’s intelligent and rambunctious, feeling like she’s made for more than the fast express duties that she was designed for. She wants to be involved and get dirty. (Which is a sentiment that I think a lot of young girls can relate to!) Maybe this causes other engines to view her as childish, but we know it's because even if she’s an old design- she has youthful zeal. I think that's a compelling personality and character to make from a Stirling Single, rather than just making another “old wise sage” character (we’ve got plenty of those and in different flavors!) An old engine that's hard to register as “old” at all, though not like Edward, she reads like this because she’s childish and immature- Someone immature, but in a distinct flavor of immature than Percy or Gordon. This Emily has so much room to bounce off other characters, and she does. The way she acts in Respect for Gordon comes to mind. Emily’s bossiness brings a much needed shakeup to the monotony of seasons 8-12.
In addition, big, snooty, important characters are a staple of TTTE, but it's an archetype almost exclusively reserved for male characters. You could make an argument that Daisy and Elizabeth support these, but I think they’re different (or underdeveloped) enough not to fit this. Emily is the exception here. I think it's why she’s remembered so well as the female TTTE character that immediately comes to mind. Emily could be great, and she was great.
#the promised rant#theres a lot more i wanted to say but i needed to keep this on track#ttte emily#thomas the tank engine#kips cant shut up
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Candy Girl 4
Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as cheating, age gap, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.
Summary: as you’re about to take the next step with your boyfriend, doubts begin to arise. (short!plus!reader)
Characters: Thor (boyfriend’s dad/silverfox)
Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself. <3
After a quick flight, both thankful to Thor and embarrassed that he witnessed his son’s behaviour, you don’t know if you ever want to go back. As much as you love Magni, you’re not sure if it’s worth it. He never seems to want to do anything but play video games or sex. The latter remains a touchy subject for both of you.
You’ll let Magni cool off, and yourself.
This isn’t the end. You would know if it was. You send him your usual texts. Good mornings, good nights, and check in when you can. His lack of response isn’t unusual. He’s probably playing around with his bike again. You wonder if he’s figured out how to put it back together yet.
The days pass in a blur. You have work to keep you busy. With summer in full swing, you have more than enough driving around to do.
Between deliveries, your mind wanders. You’ll have to talk to him face-to-face, get this sorted out. You're not mad at him. It was a bad morning and a strange night. You can move past it. Right?
You grab the next order and check the address as you get in your front seat. Huh, it’s in Magni’s neighbourhood. Maybe you can swing by and surprise him.
You turn the engine and blast your stereo. Rihanna pumps from the speakers, a bit scratchy, but still a bop. You hunch over the wheel as you follow the rush hour traffic, tapping the breaks as you crawl along. Finally, you get to a turn off and dip down some side streets.
You turn down the A/C as the car begins to shake. You don’t use the air much, your old beater doesn’t much like any extra stress. You turn down the volume and give an anxious look to the venting in the hood. That’s not smoke, you’re just imagining things.
Before the job, you couldn’t tell left from right but now the whole city is imprinted in the back of your head. You know which orders to make quickly and ones where you can leave the car unlocked while you run up to the door. Magni’s is the latter.
You roll down the avenue lazily and come up before a big white house, squinting at the number on the front door. You get out and stretch, just a few more hours. You grab the insulated bag and the paper bag with the cans of soda. You bounce up the front steps and balance it all as you ring the bell.
You wait, glancing around at the lush greenery. It’s kind of lame to dream of living in a place like this. Basic, your friends tease, but you just want to know what it’s like. Maybe it’s just as bad as what you have, just painted up nice.
You can’t really complain. You have a roof and food and job. Could be a lot worse.
The door opens and jolts you from your internal turmoil. You blink and step back, once more looking around. You know for sure you didn’t go to the wrong house. Thor’s house isn’t even the same colour. So what is he doing there?
“Ah, little one, I was hoping it would be you,” he booms.
“Huh?” You make a dumb face.
“I thought it’d be a fun surprise,” he grins, “my friend’s,” he points up then reaches into his back pocket, “they suggested pizza and I told them I knew just the place.”
“Oh, wow, thanks,” you smile and unzip the bag.
“Hmm,” he hums as he counts out bills, “funny, they got a little thing like you carrying around all that.”
“Mr. Odinson,” you chirp, “I’m not that small.”
“Suppose most people are too me,” he grins and holds out the money, “keep the change.”
You accept the bills with the pizza against your hip and the paper bag on top. You blink dumbly at the folded bills. He can’t be serious.
“Mr. Odinson.”
“Thor,” he purrs.
“Thor, er, I think you miscounted.”
“I didn’t, I have generous friends,” he shrugs, “we put in together. Now,” he reaches to take the paper bag, “allow me to relieve your burden.”
You gulp and tuck away the money. You finish unzipping the bag and slide out the pizzas. It’s awkward as the boxes are so big. He gets closer to help and you slide them right into his hand. As you finish unsheathing them, he steps back.
“How about you have a slice before you go?” He offers, “you have much to go?”
“Halfway through,” you fold the empty bag against your stomach, “that’s real nice, but they time us.”
“Oh, too bad,” he nods, “well, I suppose I’ll see you... haven’t lately. Not that I can blame you.”
“Oh, uh, I’ve been real busy,” you say, not a complete lie. Still, you have been avoiding it.
“Yes, you work hard. Wish I could say the same of Magni.”
“Sorry,” you frown.
“Sorry? For him? He’s not your responsibility. Only myself to blame, I am his father,” he sighs, “anyhow, don’t let me keep you.”
“Thanks again,” you try to brighten up. “I’m... I’m going to talk to Magni tomorrow. It's my day off.”
“Ah, yes, well, I hope it isn’t a waste of time,” he resigns and gives a wave.
He stays at the door as you turn away, his words ominous as they leave an unsettling flutter in your chest. You hop down the steps and open the back door of your car. You toss the empty bag inside and close it, getting in the front.
You shove the key in the ignition and twist. The engine rumbles but doesn’t flip. You huff and try again, leaning your weight into the effort. As the motor kick, you look up to find Thor still watching you from the porch.
The engine turns and you sigh in relief. As you go to shift into reverse, there’s a pop, then a bag, and several more noises. The exhaust puffs one last time and the engine dies. No! No! Not now baby. We made it so far.
You get out as black smoke plumes around the edges of the hood and you hear a shuffle from the porch. Shoot, shoot, shoot. Thor puts the pizza down on the bench and hurries down to you. As if you haven’t embarrassed yourself enough in front of him.
“You alright?” He asks.
“Yeah, fine,” you pout, “I’m not worried about me.”
“Hm, may I?” He gestures to the hood. You shrug.
He pops it open and moves the stick to prop it up. He waves away the smoke and squints through it. You cross your arms and stand back. You wouldn’t know where to begin.
“Hmm, lucky it wasn’t a full blown fire. Fuel lines are rotten,” he says and moves out of the path of the smoke. “One finally burst.”
“Oh,” you mope, “no...”
“Sorry, little one, it’ll need a professional.”
“Uh, at least... I guess the tip will help with that,” you sniff, “but... I gotta work. What am I gonna tell Karl?”
“Karl?” He echoes curiously.
“My manager,” you utter, “and my parents...” You look at him, “sorry, this isn’t your problem.”
“I would gladly take it on,” he assures you, “why don’t you call Karl, tell him you’re having some difficulties, you can’t finish your shift.”
“Urgh,” you frame your forehead in frustration, “but...”
“I know someone who can look at the car. I’ll give him a call.”
“Oh gee,” you huff and turn your head up, dropping your hands. “This isn’t happening.”
“Don’t worry, little one, I will take care of it. Please, it’ll be alright.”
You look at him again. It isn’t his responsibility and you shouldn’t let him but you don’t have much of a choice. What else are you going to do? Borrow Magni’s broken motorcycle?
“Right, I’ll... I’ll call my boss.”
“Please, I don’t like to see you upset,” he says, “call him then have some pizza and I’ll take you to mine. You can make up with Magni, eh? At least that’s something.”
“Thank you, Mr. Odinson,” you give a bittersweet smile, “really, you don’t have to do all that.”
“Ah, but why wouldn’t I?” He winks and turns away, “Bucky!”
He stomps up the steps and pulls open the door, the pizza forgotten on the bench. He calls the same name again and you take out your phone. At least Karl is a nice guy. He’ll let you make it up once you get your car running again.
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i think the entire 911 fandom situation is very interesting to witness because we've been saying this for years: buck and eddie girlies would have been at each other's throats all this time if their common ship hadn't united them. i think the current takes show incredibly well that the same people who hate bucktommy simply wanted eddie to have the queer storyline, with or without buck. i do understand that. people can have favorite characters and want them to have specific storylines. but now, from a narrative standpoint, bi eddie and buddie seem very unlikely to ever happen in canon. buck girlies get to enjoy canon bisexual buck kissing a man on screen and being in love while they cannot and probably will never get that for eddie. at least not with a man, and let's be real, that's all the hardcore antis seem to care about. i think now, given all that has happened in s7, we're finally seeing people's favoritism unveiled (not that it wasn't obvious the entire time) and there is less unity on where the story should go for buck and eddie. suddenly, i think for the first time ever, hardcore buddie shippers are truly forced to actually view buck and eddie as individuals that live alongside each other as besties while having their own separate lives. it's funny to me that antis act as if people have "abandoned" eddie. he is getting heavy focus in s7? he is still a main character? shouldn't people be happy that his character is further explored and his trauma is hopefully finally worked on? i feel like i appreciate canon eddie more than many eddie girlies do just because many eddie girlies seem to enjoy a highly fanonized version of him only. and that fanon version is being shattered, due to bucktommy and now with eddie being confirmed to still love shannon, the love of his life. it's good for the 911 ecosystem. i hope this adjustment period will end soon, and people will finally calm down about the buddie agenda.
I truly did not even think about Eddie vs. Buck being such a huge trigger for the drama, which I why I love these constructive discussions. And I agree that if not for their friendship/the discussion of Buddie it could have created a lot of tension (“Buck’s getting more screen time, they’re making Eddie look like the bad guy, it’s not fair this and that”). It’s one of the reasons I suspect that small radical group may end up imploding because if they’re not getting the attention they want from us they’re going to start fighting amongst themselves.
I agree that if not to Buddie the idea of Eddie being queer would have never come up but then again I’m not sure any girlfriend would have been good enough? It’s a double-edged sword. And I think the show has amazing queer representation and adding another character journey so similar to Buck’s would seem too repetitive and do a disservice to the others because it would feel like a trend.
I did a post a while ago with a bit of a rant about how Ryan seems so excited about his future character development (think he’s ready to portray some good angst) and it was automatically brought back to Buddie. How is journey is really about Buddie and how it goes back to that. And talk about a disservice. You’d think people would be THRILLED for Eddie to get his own individual storyline but alas no.
I haven’t always been an Eddie fan, I may be biased towards Buck but whether it was intentional or not, I always found him to be a bit selfish and his relationship with Buck a bit more one way or another. Which could be me totally misreading it but this sesson?! OMG I’ve fallen in love with him again. He’s so silly and playful, the basketball scene where he’s doing that little head bop makes me all sorts of 😍😍😍. I feel like it’s a true representation of who he js and that’s probably why all the Shannon drama is coming up, he’s going back to himself and that brings back a lot of repressed trauma. Ryan has done phenomenal and is vulnerability as a “macho” man is so needed to be seen nowadays.
I agree as with everything you’ve said, it’s time to focus on the characters as separate entities who will always gravitate back to each other. No matter how bad a fight Eddie and Buck have or will have, they have such a special (platonic) relationship that I adore. Thank you so much for your ask, it brings up so many good points and definitely offers hope that these sorts of mindsets will drive us to continue to push the positive and ignore the negative!
#911 show#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#platonic buddie#i’m not anti buddie#i’m anti bullying and bullshit#great insight#oliver stark#ryan guzman#with a side of tommy and shannon#i feel like they’d be all sorts of sass together#anon ask
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upon further thought and discussing my current feelings with a friend, i think that for rn the healthiest thing for me to do is to go on a short indefinite hiatus instead of a semi-hiatus.
vent/a bit of where i’m at atm - it IS rp related so feel free to skip. TLDR im taking an emotional and mental health break for my own sanity.
i think that it’s safe to say that i’ve been struggling for a long while in this fandom? and this has been going on since 2020. and while i won’t go into explicit details about my feelings and what ive experienced bc it is a lot and i don’t want my negativity all over the dash, it gets very exhausting trying to portray this character as one who deserves his place in the final fantasy vii compilation as a whole just as much as any other character. it hurts a lot feeling like i somehow have to prove that.
and it has hurt to have people come into my hc posts in the past to complain about retcons as if i somehow had something to do with them by simply applying what’s been shown to me in remake and rebirth. i’ve always tried my best to be respectful to pre-established content, and i’ve always tried to incorporate roche in a way that does not directly contradict previously established lore. i understand the frustration. but my passionate headcanon posts about my muse are not a space for you to vent your frustrations about how -square enix- has retconned SOLDIER lore. i’m trying to make sense of it myself.
yet there are times where i do feel as though i’m encroaching on people’s fond memories of the original compilation by writing this character, and if you think i’m being sensitive about it, i don’t feel like i am completely irrational in feeling this way. this has been happening since 2020, and it’s tiring always having that in the back of my head, to the point where i sincerely approached one of my friends far prior to rebirth to tell them i wasn’t going to go along w this blog because simply put, i just didn’t want to put up w that again - i feel welcomed most of the time - but lore-wise and universe-wise, only to a certain extent at times.
however, i also realize that this is a severe discredit and slap in the face to people who have been nothing but kind to me and i am immensely grateful for that. fandom is a lot better than it was in 2020. it was absolute chaos back then. and the people who have been kind and receptive to this muse and who have been respectful VASTLY outweigh those who have not been.
and so i’m writing this to acknowledge that because i’m seeing a consistent pattern of hyperfocus on the wrong things ( likely because fandom as a whole has slowed down and so has my energy levels, giving me too much room to ruminate ) , the best course of action is to take a complete step back, despite me loving this character utterly. i think it will make me feel a lot better to take some time to focus on other things and keep my mind off negative thoughts. come back with a better perspective. i don’t want to sully this blog with bad vibes or. somehow appearing like sb who wants to be pitied or comforted all the time. when the bad feelings get too big, its simply time to take a step back.
i profusely apologize for my emotionally unstable behavior as of late, so i’ll be taking a step back for my own mental wellbeing. i am not certain when i’ll be back, but i am hoping it won’t take long. at least. i don’t plan on this becoming a lengthy thing longer than a month. i will keep you guys posted.
i am open to discord roleplays via discord at mooglerific. i will be focusing exclusively on tohru adachi for a while over at @infog, albeit on a semi-hiatus level.
i appreciate you guys greatly! stay safe!
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