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gracewritesfics · 1 year

Text

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Pov: He's your friend's brother.

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Smut, Mature.

"Guys, summer break is about to begin!" Jissa said, "And we'll not be able to meet at school." "Yes," Haejin had a sullen look over her face. "So I was thinking, maybe you guys could come to my place over the weekend?" Jissa suggested and suddenly our faces turned from gloomy to glowing.

The school was off for the rest of one and a half month. The weekend was here. Haejin called me. "Y/n, I'm at Jissa's, when are you coming?" "Will be there in 5min!" I replied.

My mom pulled over the car in front of Jissa's place and saw me off. Jissa, Haejin and I were best friends since middle school. That would be for more than four years. Earlier we were not allowed sleepovers but now we were in high school. And have been friends for so long that our families knew each other.

I rang the doorbell. "I'll get it, I'll get it!" Jissa ran downstairs as she knew I was coming. But someone else opened the door. I was kinda surprised and amazed. He stood in front of me, Jungkook, Jissa's brother. He's grown up so much since last I saw him. I was twelve then and he was sixteen. Ngl, he looked cute even then. After that, he went to Seoul, for high school and college. I knew that much.

Now, I was sixteen and he was twenty. He's so much taller. He had built his body, muscles and everything. He had tattoos in his right arm. He was wearing a sleeveless tee-shirt, exposing his biceps. "Heyy!" I said. "Hi-"

"you're here!" Jissa chuckles excitingly hugging me tight. She always does this, even if we meet after a couple days. Jungkook went back to the living room couch. He was playing some game and having snacks.

"let's go to my room!" Jissa says, breaking my focus from Jungkook.I nod, "sure!" But as I walked, my eyes were fixated on observing how he has changed. He was a man now. We walked from the side through the hallway, and at one point he noticed that I was looking at him, and I turned away. I went upstairs in Jissa's room with her. Haejin was already there.

"Omg, we're all wearing the same colour just a bit different shades," Haejin said excitingly. I was wearing a lavender top with dark purple hearts on it and white shorts. Haejin wore a purple shirt over light pink pants and Jissa, she wore a midy, which too was lilac purple. We were clicking pictures and selfies.

"Guys, I recently bought some make up stuff online. Let's try it!" Jissa said. Basic girl get together stuff. Next two hours we sat there, doing makeup and clicking pictures again.

"Aren't you guys hungry?" Haejin said. "Yes, I am." I said. "Let me get you some snacks." Jissa said. "Wait, we'll come with you. Let's go to the living room. We're sitting here for quite sometime." I said and they both agreed. Actually, my intention was to see Jungkook again. It had been a few hours. And we didn't even get a chance to meet nicely at first. Well, it would be kind of awkward now, if I talked to him. We're not kids anymore.

To my disappointment, Jungkook wasn't there in the living room. Jissa got some snacks from the kitchen and we sat on the same couch. She switches Netflix on the tv. "What you guys wanna watch?" We looked at each other confusedly. "Some Drama?" Haejin asked? "I'm not in the mood for Dramas!" Jissa said.

Suddenly, the door of the room in the hallway opposite to the couch opens up. Jungkook comes out of his room. "What are you guys up to?" He asks in the air walking towards kitchen. "Deciding what to watch!" Jissa replied. "Can't decide?" "Aniyo, do you have any suggestions?" She asked.

"How about a horror movie?" He smirks. Jissa looked at us. Haejin threw her shoulder up. "It's a good idea," I replied. "Okay, then..!" Jissa went to the horror movies section and began searching.

"You know what, I'm joining you guys too." He said. I turned my face to the side and smiled at myself foolishly doing a "yes" with my fist.

Finally, it was decided. We were gonna watch Insidious, second part. As Jissa put the film on, Jungkook turned off all the lights. "Ayoo, wth?" Jissa said. "I'm creating an ambience." He said, "it's gonna be fun."

I was seated on the couch and Haejin sat next to me. Jissa sat on the one chair sofa. And Jungkook, he came and sat on the couch next to me. I looked with wide eyes at him then turned away, looking at the tv screen. I wasn't the scaredy cat type, but yeah when any horrific scene comes, I would be scared and react.

We had kept snacks beforehand. Popcorn, chips, cola, Jungkook had his banana milk. Yeah, he loved that, even as a kid. I remember. Jungkook wasn't scared at all. I could see. And Jissa too, she would react a little. But Haejin, who was sitting next to me, she was hell scared. She would scream in the middle and even make a normal scene scary. She would hug me tight and I tried to free myself.

At one point, a scene came and Haejin screamed. I was terrified. I threw my hand and grabbed something. It was Jungkook's thigh. I looked at him, he looked awkwardly at me. Then I moved my hand away instantly like a current. Well that was awkward. But why am I getting butterflies. His thigh was muscular, stiff. What am I thinking?

Another scary scene comes. Haejin grabbed my hand. I didn't flinch anymore. Did not react. "You're not scared?" Jungkook looked at me. "No.. are you?!" He laughed a little. "Me? Nah!" Just then, Haejin screamed and we all were traumatized. Jungkook grabbed my arm from the side, shrinking. His face was too close to my neck. I could feel his breath.

"Yo, Haejin aah? What was that?" Jissa yelled. Jungkook slowly moved away leaving my arm. He got all awkward, ruffling his hair, looking here and there. Finally the movie ended. Jissa turned on the lights.

"what about the dinner?" She asked jungkook. "Mom's not coming home tonight?" "No she and dad went to grandmother's house." She replied.

"So, then it's just us?" Haejin asked. "Maybe we should order something." Jungkook said.

"Pizza it is" Jissa blurted out excitingly and ordered pizzas.

"When we saw each other last time you were too young," Jungkook said. "You too, you were my age then." I said and he laughed a little. Haejin didn't know Jungkook much. At that time, she didn't visit Jissa's place.

There were times you visited Jissa's house, for Christmas or a birthday party. They were cherish-able times.

"So, you're in college now?" I ask him. "Yep!" He replied. "In Seoul?" He nodded.

Next few minutes, we all had pizzas and talked about everything. Jissa reminded me of the childhood and told stupid stuff about Jungkook to which he argued with her and told something about her. They were chaotic pair of siblings. Now that I remember, maybe I had a thing for Jungkook, even back then. I liked him.

Stop being delusional. He studies in college and lives in Seoul. Also, he's four years older than me. I remind myself. He must have a girlfriend..

As the night fell, Jissa made a mattress bed on the floor. "Who's gonna sleep on the floor?" Haejin asked. "You!" Jissa replied. "No way. Not after you traumatized me with the horror movie. There was space for two on the bed. "I'll be on the mattress!" I said. "Really y/n? It's fine with you?" Jissa asked. "Yeah babe!" I replied. "If there's any problem just wake me up!" "Cool" I said.

Well, it was then, 1 a.m. and I realised it was a bad idea, sleeping on the mattress on the floor, alone. I was thirsty. There was no water in the room. I slowly, got up and walked on my tiptoes. I looked around, it was quite dark. I kept my phone handy and switched the flash on.. looking for water. I went to the kitchen and opened refrigerator, there were bottles. I took one and drank from it.

Suddenly, jungkook, who had gone to the washroom, came out and saw the fridge open. He moved towards it. And as I closed the fridge and the flash was on my face he was terrified. He was going to scream when I grabbed his mouth shut, leaning towards him.

"Jissa and Haejin will wake up!" I mumble in a low voice. He moves your hand from his mouth. "What are you doing here?" He asked. "Drinking water!" I tell him. "You scared me!" He admitted. "I scared you, I thought you were fearless!" I chuckled.

I take a look at him with the light emitted by my phone flash. We were standing too close. He was wearing his boxers and a vest. He was cute and hot at the same time. "I am fearless until someone creeps out of the refrigerator at 1a.m. at night." He said. I laugh.

"Anyway, good night!" He said and began moving away when I stopped him. "Jungkook." He turns around. "I can't sleep." "Why?" He asked. "I am scared. And I can't sleep on the mattress on the floor, alone!" I told. "Then ask Jissa to exchange places." He suggests. "I don't want to wake her up."

"Then, what do you want to do?" He asked. "I don't know." I said. "Sleep on the couch!" He said. "I told you I'm scared." I said. "So then what? Huh! Do you want to sleep with me or what?" He asked, probably joking. "Yes!" I said, seriously. "What?!!" He was suddenly too awake. Before that he was kinda sleepy. "What'd you just say?"

"Forget it!" I said. He held my wrist. Pulling me back. "Are you serious?" He asked. "About what?" "About what you said earlier." "What did I say?" I acted fool. "That you want to sleep with me!" He blurted out directly. "I said that?" I raised an eyebrow. "Yes I heard it!" He said grabbing my arms by the side..

His chest was rising and falling. I felt the tension. I had provoked him.. he was breathing heavily. "Maybe you heard it right!" i winked. That was it. Guys are easy to melt, like candle, just light a little match and touch the candle with it and it would melt in hot wax.

He was very close, a few inches away, so I planted a soft kiss on his cherry lips. As I moved away he got impatient. He leaned again and pulled me in a deep passionate kiss. He slowly moved me towards the couch. There was no light. I fell on the couch and he fell upon me.

He was literally so nervous, I could feel his breath from inches away. "Are you like... virgin?" I ask him. "No I'm not.. but you are, aren't you?" He asks. I bite my lower lip. "Yes!"

"Do you have a girlfriend?" I ask. "Why? You want to be my girlfriend?" "Answer me first" I say. "No, I'm single, since a year." "That's why you're so desperate!" I said. "I'm desperate? You literally said you want to sleep with me!" He said.

"I was just kidding." I say. "Well, I'm not." He said and picked me up from the couch and walked towards his room. He dropped me on his bed. "Fyi, I'm still sixteen!" I remind him.

"And hot!" He said, "you've grown up too. I noticed. You have curves now." I can't breathe. Holy shit. He takes off his vest. He's got abs. His shoulders are broad. He's a man. Drop dead gorgeous man. I'm gonna die.

He lays on top of me, shirtless. Only in his boxers. And he kisses me. So deep. Our tongues intertwined. I breathe him in with every single breath.

He kisses my neck wet. He gestures me with his eyes to remove the top. I close my eyes in hesitation but I take it off. "You're 16 but you're a woman. Hotter than girls in their twenties! I swear babe!" He says and i shy away. He engraves his face in my cleavage and i laugh because it's ticklish.

He puts his hand beneath and unhooks my bra. I'm shook. I hold my hand in front of me as he removes it. "Move your hands babygirl!" He says but i don't. He pins my hands against the bed with one hand. "Remember, I don't need two hands to handle you, I'm strong enough!"

"Sure.. Daddy!" I said. He chuckled uncontrollably. He's literally laughing. "Say that again!" "Daddy?!"

He kisses me, I can't breathe. He unbuttons my shorts and few seconds later I'm in front of him, completely exposed. "May I?" He asks. "sure as hell"

"why me?!' he asked. "what!?" "why are you losing your virginity on me?" He asked. "Cause you're hot, now stfu, and fuck me!" I blurted out. "You drive me crazy!" He fingers me and finds out that I'm so wet already. He slides himself inside me slowly and I am about to scream but he grabs my mouth. "They're gonna wake up " he said.

I whimper under his hand on my mouth. "If it hurts let me know!" He loosens his grip on my mouth. And I sigh. He moves faster. I can't scream but only gasp for air and moan, not too loud. "Say my name"

"Jungkook!" I gasp. "Not that one, babygirl!" "Daddy!" I whisper in his ear. "A little louder, let me hear!" He said as he continues stroking me. "Daddy!" I say.

Next morning, thankfully, I returned upstairs in my outfit before anyone woke up. As we sit for breakfast, I couldn't stop smiling and I hide my face. I can't bare to look at Jungkook.

"Maybe you guys should do these get-togethers more often!" Jungkook said to Jissa. "I mean, last night was fun. The movie."

"We can do this all summer!" Jissa said. Omg I can't with him. "You guys, you can come over again next weekend?" She asked.

"Why weekend, it's not like you have school, you can come anytime." Jungkook said. And secretary winked at me. Fuck him. What a tease!

#jungkook #jeon jungguk #jeon jungkook #bts smut #bts x reader #bts #fanfic bts #bts army #kpop smut #jeon jungkoooook #fanfic #fandom #ffs #jk live #jk jk #bts jk

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nerdnag · 1 month

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Hi Sara! You are wise and cool and I'd appreciate advice if you have any! I am trying to make friends especially with fellow autistic people in real life but it is very very hard and scary also I don't know how to find people who want friends. Do you have any advice? (Please only answer if you want to!)

Thank you Ghostly!! 🙏 You are so valid - it *is* hard and scary to make irl friends!! (... Online friends too, tbh)

I don't know if I have any helpful advice, but I'll try!

I think what's worked best for me is to meet people in contexts that are related to specific, niche interests. I'm not entirely sure I have any IRL friends anymore who are only autistic, I do have a bunch who are both autistic and have ADHD though. And all of them, I've met through various kinds of special interests.

For example, several people in my TTRPG group are neurodiverse. How did I meet them? I happened to sit next to a guy I'd never spoken to before while at a work lunch, and we got to talking fantasy books (... I don't really remember how), which got us into RPG talk, which eventually led to him asking me by the end of the lunch whether I'd like to join the TTRPG group that he and some of his friends were starting up soon. That was 3,5 years ago, and we're still playing together to this day!

Another, I met through Magic: The Gathering - we were going to the same weekend event (not related to MtG) and I saw him post in a thread about looking for people to play some games with, so I replied to him, and we pretty much clicked right away because it turned out we had lots of other similar interests as well.

A third, I got to know through playing social deception games at yet another event, in which we sort of fell into a banter-y jargon while trying to convince everyone else to vote out the other. (We were both the wild cards in every game, because I had a habit of grinning wildly and looking generally untrustworthy regardless of which role I was given, and he had an absolutely straight face regardless and was really hard to read, so we pretty quickly identified each other as friendly rivals.) Then I figured out he lived in the same city as I did, and my train was cancelled, so I used my Charisma™ to hitch a ride with him and his dad back home :D

... So based on my own experiences, it seems I've mostly met other neurodiverse people through various kinds of games, which is one of my great passions in life! Depending on what your interests are, maybe there are events, groups or such that you could be on the lookout for? Sort of like it usually happens on Tumblr I guess, but IRL it's a bit harder since you have to do more work and research to find those places and communities.

The thing is though, it will always be scary. The first time I went to play with the TTRPG group, I was super scared. I barely said anything during the first hour or so, and even after several sessions, it still took some time each time to get back into it and relax. But I always have a lot of fun while playing, and I know they appreciate having me there, so that makes it easier to relax and not worry so much. It was the same thing with the MtG friend - I rewrote that first message sooo many times, and then had a racing heart by the time I went to meet up with him. The trick for me has been to recognise when it's worth pushing through that discomfort, and try to be accepting of the fact that sometimes it won't work out, but sometimes it will; sometimes it will lead to amazing friendships, but sometimes it will fizzle out or face plant before it could even start. And that's fine.

It gets easier with time in my experience, but it never gets easy. I've sort of had to accept that I usually don't make a great first impression. It's not that I make a bad impression, I just don't think I make much of an impression at all - I probably seem more shy than I really am, and sometimes my fears make me behave really awkwardly. But after a couple times, as I start to relax and get more comfortable being myself, I think I can make a really really good impression! And I stress a little less about first impressions when I remind myself of that.

Oh, and one more thing: I've personally found that it's a lot easier to meet new people if they are there by themselves. People who already hang out in groups are much harder to approach. Because of this reason, actually, I tend to avoid going to places together with my friends if my aim is to meet new people. It means I won't have the comfort and safety of my friends with me, but it increases the likelihood that I'll approach people I wouldn't have talked to others - or that they will approach me! (The friend I met through social deception games is the opposite, though. He says the comfort of having friends with him makes him more relaxed and confident, which makes it easier for him to meet new people.)

#ask a nerd #i hope this helped?#As usual I kinda feel like I started rambling.#But I really appreciate that you asked me this!! I'm happy you think I'm someone who can give good advice ^_^#I think you are an awesome person and I am glad that we met!!

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cutedisneygrl · 2 months

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Love Online Chapter 15

Warnings: a little language. The rest is just sweet.

Chris and Merida had both fallen asleep on the couch and were awoken by Merida's phone. Chris picks it up and sees its her father.

"Who is it?"

"Your father."

"I don't want to talk to him. What if he..."

"Maybe Tiffany got through to him. Maybe we should at least see what he wants."

"Fine, but put him on speaker."

Chris accepts and puts it on speaker.

"Daddy."

"Hey Princess. Look I want to apologize for how I acted earlier. I shouldn't have yelled at you or even blamed Chris for what happened. I know it wasn't his fault that he was only looking out for you. I was an ass. Can you forgive me?"

"Oh daddy, of course. I know you were just looking out of me and was worried, but Chris would never..."

"I know he wouldn't. I know he loves you. I want to apologize to him as well."

"I'm here Shawn. I heard everything."

"I'm sorry Chris. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I shouldn't have yelled at you. You have done so much for my daughter. I meant what I said to you the other day. You have brought a light back into her life and I want to thank you for that. I hope you're not going anywhere, I mean... I hope you and her are..."

Chris smiles. "We are fine. I'm not going anywhere. I'm actually here till Monday. I have the weekend off, but I go back to filming Monday. I will be filming till November."

"Okay. Just be careful. I know you will but take care of my daughter."

"I will. Always. I won't let anything happen to her. You have my word on that. Your daughter means the world to me."

Her dad smiles. "Thanks Chris."

"So daddy, did Tiffany talk to you?"

"Yes, she told me everything. I know it wasn't Chris's fault. I know that Bradley has been doing this for a while now. He never stopped loving you, or so he says. He has been watching you ever since you broke up."

"What!"

"You didn't know?"

"No! I have him blocked on Instagram. I don't see anything he posts and he can't see mine."

"Oh, well sorry, maybe I shouldn't have said anything, but yeah. According to Tiffany who sees his posts says he has never forgotten you and that he has been watching you and when he saw you were with Chris he got mad and started saying a lot on there."

Merida looks at Chris. Chris doesn't say a word. He looks down at Dixie who is laying at the end of the couch with her head on his feet.

"Well, I think he's gone now. I don't think I will hear from him again. Right Chris?"

"Right. My security team took care of him."

"Okay good! Well I guess I'll let you two go. Enjoy your weekend. I love you Princess, and again I'm sorry."

"I love you too Daddy. Goodnight."

Chris ended the call and set her phone on the coffee table.

"Well glad everything is okay with your dad."

"Yeah me too. I was worried. As I said I've never seen him react that way before and it scared me."

"I know, but you don't have to be scared anymore. It's all over." He says rubbing her shoulder.

"Chris?"

"Yes babe?"

"Will I still be followed?"

"No, I don't think you need to be unless you would feel safer that way."

"No. I hate the idea of being followed everywhere I go."

Chris smiles. "Alright. I will tell them they don't have to anymore. But promise me, if you ever feel unsafe or think you are in danger tell me. Okay?"

"Okay. I will."

Chris kisses her head. "Babe?"

"Yes?"

"You never did answer my question."

"What question?" She asked looking up at him.

"The question I asked you when we played scrabble."

Merida looked up at Chris then looked back down and stayed quiet.

"Babe?"

"I thought you had forgotten about that question." She said without looking at him.

Chris laughs.

"No. I haven't forgotten. I was trying to give you time and then with everything that happened I just didn't bring it back up. But...it's been two months since I asked."

"I...I'm..."

Chris puts his hand under her chin and lifts it up so she is looking at him.

"What is it? You scared?"

"Yes, but...I'm...not..."

"You're not what?"

"I'm not ready for that."

"Okay, I respect that. I understand."

"You know I love you and..."

"Babe, it's okay," he says taking her hand and rubbing it. "I love you too." He leans forward and kisses her.

Merida smiles. "You know I never told you that like your hair better this way." She says reaching up running hands over his hair.

"Oh you do huh?"

"Yes, I didn't really like it long. I also like you better without the beard." She says rubbing his cheek.

"Is that so?" he asks smiling.

"Yes, the beard tickled."

Chris laughs. "Oh it did huh?"

"Yeah."

"Well I can't promise it will stay like this forever. And speaking of being tickled, are you ticklish?"

"Why?"

"I'm just asking."

"Don't get any ideas."

Chris laughs. "Are you?"

"Maybe."

"You're not going to tell me?"

"No." she says biting her lip

"Oh babe, you and that lip biting." He says reaching up and caressing her cheek then leaning forward and kissing her.

"Chris." Merida says pulling away slightly.

"Yeah."

Merida gets quiet.

"What is it babe?"

Merida doesn't say a word she leans forward and kisses Chris on the lips then kisses his neck.

"Babe, are you sure you're ready? We don't..."

"Yes Chris I'm sure. I don't want to go all the way but..."

Chris smiles and lifts her chin so she is looking at him. "If you're sure. I don't want you to feel like you have to."

"I'm sure. I want to."

Chris smiles and leans forward and kisses her.

Chris and Merida spend the rest of the weekend together. They mostly spend it at Merida's house relaxing watching TV and playing games. They take Dixie for some walks. Then early Monday morning Chris leaves after they have eaten breakfast.

"I will text you when I get back to Boston."

"Okay."

"I love you Babe."

"I love you too."

Chris kisses her then picks up his stuff and leaves. Merida stands at the door and watches him pull out of her driveway. Once he's gone she cleans up from their breakfast and gets ready for work.

The next few weeks go by. One night Merida is talking to Chris on FaceTime.

"Chris?"

"Yeah babe?"

"Do you think it's safe for me to get back on Instagram?"

"Uh...I..."

"I promise I will be careful."

"I will let you on one condition."

"What's that?"

"You have to promise me; you won't read any comments."

"I promise. If I do, I will be careful...I mean I will ignore them."

"Alright."

"I need my password. You changed it remember."

"Oh right. Its flannagan."

"Flannagan?"

"Yeah. It's the street I grew up on."

"Oh. You know it's also the name of a character in Oliver and Company."

"Oh yes you're right. I had forgotten about that."

They talked for another hour before they said goodnight. That night Merida got on Instagram and posted a pic.

Disneydoggrl83❤️

I was studying and Dixie put her head on my book and gave me this look like "are you done yet? I'm tired."

Merida then put her phone down beside her and went to sleep. The next morning Merida wakes up to her phone. She picks it up and sees she has a message.

Morning Beautiful

Merida sees the message and is confused. Why would Chris message her from his private account? He always uses his phone number now. They have not talked on Instagram in months.

Disneydoggrl83❤️

Uh good morning. Why are you messaging me here? Why are you not using your phone number?

(Chris not putting pic again) I laid my phone down somewhere and I can't find it. So decided to message you here.

Disneydoggrl83❤️

Oh, okay.

Merida still didn't know what to think. She decided to message Chris.

Merida-Morning Chris. Have you sent me a message on Instagram?

Merida sets her phone down and gets ready for work. After she is ready and is eating breakfast her phone goes off.

Hope you have a wonderful day Babe. I love you

Merida smiles. It sounds just like Chris. But it can't be? Can it? Has he misplaced his phone and is messaging her here?

Disneydoggrl83❤️

Thanks. You too. ☺️

Merida cleans up her dishes and quickly brushes her teeth and feeds Dixie then lets her outside and heads to work. The morning goes by quickly. When nap time comes Merida is glad she has time to relax. She is patting a kid to sleep when her phone goes off.

Chris-This is Brad Chris's assistant. Be careful.Scammers are everywhere

Merida sees the message and is curious as to why his assistant is messaging her from Chris's phone and is surprised by his message. She knows scammers are everywhere, but it just doesn't make since. This is from his official account. It's the same pic and even has the blue check mark. How can it not be Chris? She hopes she hears from Chris soon.

The rest of the day goes by and she still hears nothing from Chris. That night after she eats dinner she does her homework. While she is reading she gets another message on Instagram.

Hey beautiful! Hope you had a wonderful day. I still can't seem to find my phone. Having to use my laptop to message you from my Instagram.

Disneydoggrl83❤️

Oh, okay. I had a pretty good day. I'm tired. Doing homework at the moment. Not fun.

Yeah homework is never fun. Good luck with that. I miss you.

Merida smiles. It sounds so much like Chris. How could it be scammer?

Disneydoggrl83❤️

Thanks. I need it. I miss you too. I need to get to bed. I have a long day tomorrow.

Okay, goodnight beautiful. Love you

Disneydoggrl83❤️

Goodnight. Love you too.

Merida can't believe that Chris has not called her. She wants to believe these messages that tell her he can't find his phone. It makes since, since he hasn't called her. But then she remembers the message she got from his assistant saying be careful of scammers. Something weird is going on. Merida thinks. She lays down with Dixie beside her and goes to sleep. The next few days go by. She still has not gotten a call from Chris. She is still talking to who she thinks is him on Instagram. He always messages her and says good morning and wishes her a good day. At night he messages her a little but its brief. Then one Friday night, Merida has just gotten home from work and is getting ready to fix her dinner when her phone goes off. She sees she is getting a FaceTime call from Chris. She immediately answers.

"Chris!"

"Hey babe. I'm sorry I haven't called in a few days. I've been super busy. When I get done with filming I crash."

"It's okay. I understand."

"I saw the message my assistant sent you. What's going? Has someone contacted you?"

"Uh...well...I got this message on Instagram. It looks like it was you. It had your profile picture and even had the blue check mark."

"What! What did it say?"

"They wished me good morning. They sounded just like you. Called me beautiful, babe and even said I love you. They told me that they miss placed their phone and that's why they were using Instagram to message me. I thought it was weird, but it made since, since I haven't talked to you. So I thought it was you."

"Babe! I have not messaged you. I won't use my private account to message you. Now that I have your number this is the only way I will contact you. Would you copy the messages and send them to me? I want to see."

"Okay, I will when we get off."

"No, do it now. I will hold on."

"Okay, if I happen to lose you, I will call you back."

"Okay babe."

Merida minimizes her call and goes to Instagram and copies the messages and sends them Chris. She then goes back to the call.

"Chris, you still there?"

"Yes. I got the message. Hang on let me look."

Chris checks his message.

"Fuck! Babe, I can see why you thought it was me. But it wasn't! I need to look into this. Are you okay with me logging into your account to check this out?"

"Yes. I trust you."

"Okay. And I loved your post by the way. Dixie is cute. She's really growing."

"I know! Chris?"

"Yeah babe?"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? What are you sorry for?"

"For thinking it was you. I should have known better. I know you..." she says biting her lip.

"Babe, it's okay. You have nothing be sorry for. I should have tried contact you before now. It's my fault. I've just been so busy lately and I...I'm the one who should be sorry. It's my fault." He frowns.

"Chris, no. It's not your fault. I know your busy. I just feel so stupid! I should have known it wasn't you. I should have stopped talking to them when your assistant messaged me, but I...I was..."

"Babe, hey, it's okay. I will take of it alight?"

"Okay."

"Don't talk to them anymore alright? Just ignore them if they message you again."

"Alright. Can I still post on Instagram?"

"Yes, just be careful."

"I will, promise."

"Alright. Well babe, I'm sorry to cut this short, but I need to take Dodger for a walk and try and get some sleep. I have a long day tomorrow."

"Okay. Goodnight Chris. I love you."

"I love you too beautiful."

Chris says blowing her a kiss. Merida smiles and blows a kiss back to him and they end the call.

Merida is about to fix her dinner when her phone goes off. She has another message and she has comments on her post.

Hey beautiful! Hope you had a wonderful day! I miss you so much.

Disneydoggrl83❤️

(pic I used earlier of the dog goes here again i wont put the pic again)

I was studying and Dixie puts her head on my book and gave me this look like "are you done yet? I'm tired."

LoveableTiff💕Liked Aww, Dixie is just so stinking cute! She is really growing too! Wow 😮

Fangirl # 2 Liked Aww, Dixie is cute. ☺️

(chris pic profile would go here not putting it again)

Liked

Dixie is adorable. She is really growing. I miss her. Look forward to seeing her again soon. ☺️I love you beautiful 😘

Merida couldn't believe it! Scott, Chris's brother had liked and commented on her post and she was sure that her Chris was the one that liked and commented on her post. Her thoughts were then interrupted by her phone going off.

Chris-Wanted to let you know, that it was me who liked and commented on your post. ☺️

Merida-I figured it was. Thanks for letting me know. ☺️

Chris-Love you babe, goodnight sweet dreams.

Merida-Goodnight Chris. Love you too 😘

Chris-😘❤️

Over the next few weeks Chris and Merida continued to talk. Merida didn't get any more messages from Chris's Instagram account. She also notices that it disappeared and knew that Chris had taken care of it. As the month passed, Merida was getting excited. It was almost November and she would be able to see Chris again. One Friday night Merida had just gotten home from work and was eating dinner when her phone went off. She saw it was Chris Face Timing her.

"Hey!"

"Hey beautiful. How's my girl?"

"I'm good. I just got home. I'm eating dinner."

"Oh sorry."

"It's okay. You don't have to apologize. How was your day?"

"Tiring. I'm ready for a break."

"I bet you are."

"I wanted to talk to you about Thanksgiving."

"Okay."

"What do you have planned?"

"Well I always go to my dad's on Thanksgiving."

"Well I was wondering if you would like to spend Thanksgiving with my family."

"I would love to, but..."

"But?"

"I hate to not be with my dad on Thanksgiving. We always spend thanksgiving together and..."

"I understand. How about we get together after thanksgiving? You could come to Boston with me.

"Uh...yeah ...I guess I can."

"You guess you can." Chris laughs. "Babe, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just..."

"Are you scared?"

"A little. I've never met your family. What if they hate me?"

"Babe, they won't hate you. They will love you, just like I do. You've already sorta met Scott. He can't wait to meet you in person and my mom, she can't wait to meet you."

"You've talked to your family about me?"

"Of course I have. Babe, I promise it will be okay. They will love you."

Merida smiles. "Okay. Would you like to spend Thanksgiving with me and my dad?"

"I'd love to babe."

Merida smiles again. "When will you be here?"

"I should be able to be there the day before Thanksgiving if all goes well."

"Okay. I can't wait to see you. I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too babe. I need to go, but I will talk to you later alright? I love you."

"I love you too Chris."

Kiss blows her a kiss and hangs up.

Merida is excited. She can't wait to see Chris, but she is nervous about meeting his family. He told her she had nothing to worry about, but she can't help but worry. What will they think of her? She is only a daycare teacher. She knows Chris would hate her thinking this way, but she couldn't help it. She still at times wonders what he sees in her, but she knows he loves her and would do anything for her and she loves him. She is trying to get better about not doubting herself but it's still hard.

Two days before Thanksgiving Merida has just gotten home, she has let Dixie outside and is getting ready to eat some dinner when her phone rings. She picks it up from the island and sees its Tiffany.

"Hey girl!"

"Mer, hey! How are you?"

"I'm good."

"I'm sure your better than good. Doesn't Chris come tomorrow?"

"Yes," she smiles.

"I know your smiling. I can hear it in your voice. When he is getting there?"

"Not sure. He hasn't told me a time."

"When are you going to your dads?"

"Around noon on Thanksgiving."

"Alright. I should be there too."

"Oh your coming too?"

"Yeah. I am going to Matt's soon after, so I won't be staying long."

"Oh, okay. Glad things are going well for you and Matt."

"Me too. He's a great guy."

"He seems like it. I still want to meet him."

"I know. And I promise you will soon. So you haven't had any more fake accounts have you?"

"No, not since Chris took care of that one. I've been very careful on Instagram lately."

"That's good. There are still crazy fan girls on there. I know you said you're not reading comments much."

"No, I promised Chris I wouldn't. He knows it only makes me feel bad."

"Yeah. So things with you and Chris, are they getting serious?"

"I don't know. I mean we haven't been together but almost five months. So..."

"Well a lot can happen in five months."

"True, but I'm not rushing it Tiff. I am not ready to even think about that yet."

Tiffany laughs. "Alright fine. Well I was wondering."

"Yeah?"

"Maybe we can have girls night when you get back from Boston."

"Sure, I'll need it."

"Why is that?"

"I will need to tell all about meeting his family and..."

"Oh right. Your nervous about that aren't you?"

"I'm terrified! Tiff, what if they hate me? What if they..."

"Mer, I know Chris told you they will love you! I know they will. Your amazing! I'm sure you will fit right in."

"I hope your right."

"I know I'm right. Stop worrying! I need to go. I'll see you in a few days. Love ya."

"Love you too. See ya."

Merida hung up and a few minutes later Chris called her. They talked for a few minutes before he said he had to go, but he told her he would be there around noon the next day maybe a little later. After Merida ate some dinner and let Dixie back in she got ready for bed and climbed in bed and read for a minutes before finally climbing under the covers and going to sleep with Dixie next to her. She couldn't wait to see him the next day. She went to sleep smiling and dreamed of Chris.

Taglist-@cevansbaby-dove @lizette50 @nicoline1998enilocin @frogeezz-blog-blog @krissy25 @sarahrogersevans @katherineswritingsblog @nescavaneck @nescaveckdaily @angelbabyyy99 @hollybee8917 @bookishtheaterlover7

#chris evans #chris #dodger #chris evans fics

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tizniz · 4 months

Text

putting this under a cut because it's gonna get dark but also just...need to type this.

so. if for some bizarre reason you choose to read this, read with caution. or skip over. probably better if you skip past this and carry on.

a fun thing to realize on this 'lovely' monday night or tuesday now is just how few people would actually genuinely care if i disappeared. if any.

what brought this on you might ask, not that anyone is asking? well besides the normal horrid thoughts that run through my head on a constant basis, my mind decide to bring up the memory of when i was cleaning houses. and it was one of our regulars. and it was the same bathroom i always started in. and i got a message from someone who used to be an incredibly close friend. the message was saying that she was being committed because she had tried to commit suicide and was going to be gone for a bit. i sent replies but they went unanswered. i stood in that bathroom numb with fear and terror and a broken heart. i didn't hear from her for a week. i'll add that she's fine and happy now, with a partner and living a good life. we don't talk anymore because she's pulled away but i want nothing but good for her.

and that memory had me thinking about people if i were to disappear. and i just...i don't really have anyone?

what about family maybe, is what a normal person would ask, right? well. i just talked to my one brother for the first time on the phone since i saw him in person at the beginning of october because our relationship has became so strained. despite him and i being probably the closest in our family. my other brother i've talked to on the phone probably less than 10 times in our entire lives. there's a large age difference and it isn't until the last like...5 years we've developed any sort of relationship. i still know very little of his life tbh. mother? nope. i've been remembering things (a little, barely) from my childhood that are making me realize how bad our relationship truly is. a child should not feel as if their mother resents and regrets having them. that is how i feel. father? even worse. talk on the phone once a month, but only for six months of the year because he goes down south and can't dare to spend that extra penny, for maybe five minutes because he has this 'list' of things he discusses.

i genuinely do not have anyone in my life. work would miss me because i do so much but they'd replace me. and the only real life friend i have is hours away on the island and also married with 3 kids. we don't talk that often.

i know i have people here online that i talk to, but no one who really knows me?? and really, they'd move on. don't lie -- you would. i'm just a passing boat in your life. and look, i know part of it is on me for not letting people in, but that's because there's a lot of shit and no one really wants that. they want the fun and happy stuff. they don't want the dark and bitter stuff. learned that the hard way. multiple times. my heart can only take so much.

so i guess it just...sucks? realizing exactly how alone you are. and how much that sucks.

because no one would really know if i disappeared. no one really checks in. and i can't even fault anyone. i don't fault anyone. because i know everyone has their lives. and they're doing their own thing. and i'd never fault anyone for that anyways. i love seeing y'all live your lives.

but i know no one really cares about how difficult it was for me to get out of bed this weekend. how i wanted to just lay there and fall asleep and not wake up. and how much i'm dreading the long weekend coming up this weekend because it's one extra day of going through this. no one really cares about the scars on my skin or the itch i get to add new marks on a constant basis. bad enough that i had to buy new sheets because my old ones were stained with blood. no one really cares about the tightness in my chest that comes from the fear i face every day. no one really cares about the aches and pains i face every day because my body is basically shutting down. no one cares that i barely eat during the day. no one really cares, period.

and i'm not mad. i'm not.

i'm just...i'm tired. i'm so tired. and it was a gut punch to realize that no one would care if i disappeared forever. maybe for a little bit they would, but then they'd move on. and i don't blame anyone. really. i can't blame anyone.

i know i'm a lot. i'm too much. or not enough. or some odd mixture of both. i'm exhausting and tiring and can be overwhelming. it doesn't matter how many pieces of me i cut away to appease people. they always leave because of me.

i guess i'm just...ready to go away? to disappear and be done with it?

feels like the better option at this point.

i'm almost too tired to continue on.

i dunno.

#tanis rambles #trigger warning for...everything?#i dunno #don't read this basically #will more than likely delete this

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iamthecomet · 8 months

Note

I always feel bad for coming in here and just ranting about my problems, cause I know yet aren’t that bad but I can’t really talk to anyone in person here about them and I just feel a little bit better talking here because I feel it’s actually genuine.

But have you ever had someone pray on your down fall, or unknowingly do it? If that makes sense… but I’ve had ppl say they truly didn’t think I’d make it this far, to my face, and weirdly enough I could handle it. I took that and pushed my way to get athletic and academic scholarships. But just now for a project we had in physics only one person in our group had to turn it in, which the professor didn’t say that so we were all working on it. But when we figured it out they called and told me cause I was still working on it but I had don’t all the graphs and formulas and sent it so I could help them out. I asked if they got them and they go “uhhh yeah imma be honest, they weren’t right…” UM HELLO. Thanks for telling me before I turned it in?!?

Like it won’t hurt my feelings if you tell me I’m wrong, give me some advice on how to do it right, but it DOES hurt knowing that your weren’t going to tell me and let me get a bad grade. Thanks. That right there made me lose all trust in those two girls. Girls that I’m taking multiple classes with and am also on the same team with.

I know you get a lot of ppl who like to talk and tell you what’s going on in life, and I think it’s because YOU are a TRUSTWORTHY person, a GENUINE person who wants what’s best for people. So thank you, and all the other online friends for being some of the few people who are like that, holy shit. I know I’m being dramatic but right now I can’t tell if I’m more pissed or sad that it all happened.

But PLEASE distract me tell me all the things in your life right now, good or bad, if you’d like. Tell me fun things that have happened or things you’re excited about!! I’d love to know if you’re doing amazing:)🖤🖤

Holy shit, Mo. In all genuine honesty, fuck those people. Like, seriously. I'm sorry that you have to do so much with them. I think people are so afraid of conflict that they unintentionally create it by being like this. Or maybe they just genuinely don't care--either way it's not a great way to live your life or communicate with other people. And it isn't a reflection on you it's a reflection on them. Ok, enough of that. My life? Christ, Mo. My life is BORING haha. Let's see, my library is planning a solar eclipse party for whatever day in October the partial Solar Eclipse is. We're BARELY getting any actual eclipse but we got sent five billion eclipse glasses and we love an excuse for programming. (And we're getting a full eclipse in April so this is our practice run). So that's going to be my fun work thing for the next couple of weeks! I saw one of my best friends over the weekend. I don't see her much anymore since she left her husband and moved in with her new boyfriend 2 1/2 hours away. But that's alright, she is SO MUCH happier. I made her a little dumpster fire crochet (she immediately named him Daniel). We judged the clueless out of staters for a few hours at a weird craft fair thing we went to, and then we went to the book store and got boba tea and it was just a really wonderful day. I'm in a writing group that's supposed to last from August-May and the end goal is to have a finished draft/self-published book by the end of it. So that is super exciting. I'm working on a story I've been trying to tell for YEARS. I'm just hoping to get it out of my head. It has nothing to do with fantasy, or smut, or ghouls. But I'm hoping it will help me process some shit. It's exciting, I am unmotivated, but I'll make it work haha. Everyone else in the writing group is like 10-40 years older than me so it is a WILD experience. I sort of feel out of place with all these "adults" who read their fancy literary books and I'm over here like "well...I...read books for fun so they have to be fun!" I feel like the dumb little kid in the room. Which I'm pretty used to at this point in my life. But I have faith in my own skill, and I've worked with the guy running it before in short story programs he's done and he has faith in my skill, so I am unbothered by being the weird young person in the room. I am worried that I'm going to get to May had have nothing to show for it--but eh, we'll see when we get there. Please never feel bad about coming to me to vent/talk. I'm glad you know that you can just come into my ask box and decompress from the bullshit. Everyone deserves a place like that. Sending you love and hugs if you want them. And, seriously, fuck those people.

#comet comments #mo

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reallunargift · 1 year

Text

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you’d like to know better!

Thank you so much to @maelerie for tagging me, it was a very pleasant surprise!

- - -

What book are you currently reading? Broca’s Brain by Carl Sagan. I read my dad’s Portuguese copy many many years ago, but I wanted to read it as it was written originally, especially as Carl had such a wonderful way with words.

What’s your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year? The Bob's Burgers Movie. I think it was the only film I went to the theatre for this year and it was really nice.

What do you usually wear? It’s winter now, so my usual is trousers (with pyjama bottoms underneath if it’s super cold), a t-shirt and a knitted sweater. Colour-wise I tend to gravitate towards black and red, but I’m not above shiny silver jackets and bright yellow raincoats.

How tall are you? 155

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? Pisces. I share a birthday with George Harrison depending on who you ask.

Do you go by your name or a nick-name? I go exclusively by nicknames online. Offline it is a mix.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? No, I wanted to be an astronomer. I’m still interested in the field, but I’m not passionate enough to get the necessary qualifications.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one? I am not. My current crush is an F1 driver and I am ashamed but he has big brown eyes and pouts pathetically and I am only human

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at? I’m good at spotting patterns irl and figuring out what's coming before it happens, so usually I can plan ahead pretty well.

I'm terrible at staying focused, there is a reason I have 70 tabs open at all times and take months to do anything.

Dogs or cats? Ahhh… can I say both? I always thought I was a cat person but having a dog has really made me reconsider it. So both.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

I mean it when I say it is this, it still makes me laugh and I think that's the most important thing of all, to enjoy it!

What’s something you would like to create content for? I think it’s obvious I have a penchant for historical hetalia, specifically when it’s related to Port, and I have a bunch of ideas for mini comics and AUs and… too many things to list, really. Lets just say I want to draw more of my favourite characters and ships.

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with? F...Form....Formula....1.........

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? I don’t think there’s anything I was excited for at the start of the year that was disappointing later on… I guess I was excited for my first F1 weekend race, but the driver I was supporting had to retire on the first curve because someone crashed into him, that was very disappointing.

What’s a hidden talent of yours? I joke a lot about doing a humanities degree due to being bad with numbers, but the truth is I’m actually really good at doing maths in my head.

Are you religious? Not anymore.

What’s something you wish to have at this moment? Mae answered this with “more time” and I absolutely agree. More time and more rest.

----

I don't know who has already been tagged, but I tag @sisididis and @r-stern and @reallyndacarter :)

#lunie blabbers #thank you again! :)#but really if anyone wants to do this go ahead! I am tagging you just by reading this tag

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baekhvuns · 4 months

Note

Omggg, Baeksy IT'S MEEEE DV ANON! 💖💖💖💖 I fell off the face of the earth, but I have returned. I see you haven't been very active on here either, but what did I miss, how are things, fill me in!? Except the obvious misery... I meant to message you a few times and actually sent an ask a few months ago, but shit glitched and it didn't go through so I gave up 😭 but the news about Lewis made me think of you. Lmao one of my friend's is in shambles she'll have to support Ferrari after years of hating on them. Been there, done that I remember when I got into Griezmann just to find out he played for Atletico then he went to Barca, ahhsajhshsjdhsjaj man hates me so much!!! Or when Fabregas left Arsenal for Barca etc....

A lot happened to me, but nothing much had changed at the same time, hopefully 2024 will be a bit better. 😬

In the meantime I went to the US for some reason, lol, I also went to Vancouver and actually wanted to message you then, but forgot... then I spent some time in Thailand and Korea. Now I'm back in London, but going to Seoul next week for a few months, because of a job. Which I'm kinda excited for, but also not really ashdhsshshshhsn. Potentially I may move there for longer, but we will see...

As for kpop I'm kinda in and out you know? I actually got into some other artists, so I'm not really up to date with Ateez anymore, it's pretty sad, but they don't really bring me joy anymore. I still love Hwa and check on him from time to time, I miss my hardcore Shinestar era :( but it lasted really long so I'm surprised. Maybe I'll be back one day, unfortunately Ateez's recent releases just don't hit and I'm sick and fucking tired of KQ :/ Buuuuut I've been on the roll with kpop concerts, so I feel like I'm more of an irl kpop enjoyer rather than online one if that makes sense.

That's it for my TMI for now <3

WHAT THE FUCK

I JUST LET A SCREAM OUT

WHAT THE FUCK WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN

I AM. FBQKDBWMDBWKDHWK SCREAMING. I THOUGHT YOUD ACTUALLY NEVER COME BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THE WAY I SAW YOUR ASK AND HAD TO REFRESH BECAUSE NO MF WAY

hOW are you omg??? HOW ARE YOU! how was it been, WHERE have you been 😭😭 how was your travels!! things here are plain boring! in and out of kpop and trying to write something </3 you left for so long that im nearing my graduation this is ridiculous kvjvkckc i also re watched a bunch of 2000’s romcoms and kept thinking of u 😭

omg the lewis news, i woke up to it and it fucked with my mind a bit. like wdym he’s going ferarri? this is like messi going madrid and ronaldo going to barca??? LMFAOOOO YOUR FRIEND HAS TO FORCE HERSELF TO FORZA FERARRI EVERY WEEKEND im so excited but confused for his move, it’s time ferrari brings back the black fireproof just for ham. the mercedes must’ve been absolute shit for him to be sign it with ferrari & earn 100 million? FUCK?

this move is so iconic i can’t fully grasp it,,, anon u have to see him at silvertone in that red car in 2025 PLEASE I BEG! griezmann really said uno reverse on you 😭 & hello klopp is leaving ??? 10 years really coming to and end huh 😭

A lot happened to me, but nothing much had changed at the same time, hopefully 2024 will be a bit better. 😬

we need a ppt doc, pdf, of how things went for you! how was your travels and everything!!! hopping 2024 is good for u and u earn lots <3 i heard it’s a capricorn year so??? 🫡

you went where.

vancouver.

oh.

and you forgot to text me about it.

how dare you.

for all i know. we would’ve crossed paths unknowingly.

wow. i just paced around my room after reading this.

anon omg you should see the devastation on my face when you said you came here HOW DARE YOU! TRAITOR 🔫 WOW IM SO WORKED UP RN HOW DARE YOU BDQKDKWBDKABDDN WHERE DID U GO IN VAN

oooo a new job in sk?? that is so cool, now u can see yuta on the streets often 😭😭 hope you have a good time there!!!

i actually kind of second this,, ive also been in and out of it. song releases just don’t hit anymore from everyone, so my interest is fading. i also miss being a shinestar but i think i got out of it, i just have no interest in it anymore (actually had a small ick that made me go insane but it’s okay now) 😭😭 did/currently going thru a soft yunho phase but like you i haven’t been keeping up with them neither do they show up on my tl often! but concerts are something ill be attending! yeah it totally makes sense! i think a lot the in and out also has to do with the lack of interesting music or just good music in general. WHICH CONCERTS DID YOU GO TOOO?

also anon, i know you said u came here but didn’t shoot me a text about it 🔫 im fortunately and hopefully going for a field school in your england in the coming next year! where i WILL shoot a text unlike someone here 🧍🏻‍♀️ill be going to england first and hopefully touring around europe for a bit! & ill def ask u for places to go to as a first timer!

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon #i am actually screaming.

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inevitably-johnlocked · 2 years

Note

Hi Love!

I just saw last few Nonnys sending you (well deserved!) love, and you replied with something that you're upset you're not doing it (reccing) too well recently. I just want you to know that we all are grateful for EVERYTHING. Like, literally. Just linking us other lists is incredibly helpful and asking others for a fic / recs is also truly amazing! I understand that you may feel less "productive" or whatever else, but don't forget that the simpliest acts are gigantic. If you'd need a week break, we love you. If you'd need a month break, we love you. If you'd need a year break, we still love you. Hell, if you'd at some point decide you won't rec anymore, we will always love you. Okay? All the love to you and stay well! <3<3<3

(referencing this ask re: me being upset about having lame recs)

LOVELY.

I don't deserve this kindness, TRUELY. Honestly, I'm sobbing as I write this, because, I dunno, I feel I don't deserve it if I'm not really trying, you know? I can't explain. I just feel bad because I feel like I used to do much better at reccing, but I suppose with a 3 year CONSTANT back-catalogue of lists, I don't really have that much to do now when I do get asks, you know? And I feel bad because in the past 2 years, I've been slowing down in my reading because I don't take public transit anymore, and usually only read before bed, or in the mornings on the weekend, so I'm REALLY slow at getting new reads out, and in turn my lists have slowed down too.

And now asks these days, it's easy for me to go to my organized offline list and copy-paste everything and boom, done. I have been trying to limit my online usage if only because I work my ass off during the day, do some freelance after hours and then I spend hours filing my blog in the moments I have free. Looking at my computer is exhausting, LOL.

I got a comment a few months ago that my recs are boring and repetitive now because they're always the same fics, and I guess ever since then I've just been... losing heart in doing them, you know? If no one is enjoying them anymore, despite me meticulously sorting everything to make it easier for people to find exactly what they're looking for, and even though I work my DAMNEDEST to get you guys new lists twice a week EVERY single week... then what's the point?

*shrugs* I don't know. I'm just being stupid, I guess. Comments like this help a lot. I do genuinely enjoy making the lists (digitally organizing things help soothe my mind) and sharing them with everyone makes me happy... kind of a "look at my stuff, isn't it neat?" thing, heh.

So yeah, I'll be taking some time off soon (I usually do several times in the summer months during Canadian long weekends and my usual summer holiday), first one coming up in a few weeks for just the long weekend. Just always feel bad when I do. Bleh. Shit self-esteem sucks.

Thank you again for your kind words. I really REALLY appreciate comments like this, because it lets me know that I must be doing SOMETHING right and my stupid brain is just being silly again, hah.

*HUGS* Thank you <3

#steph replies #chatting with lovelies #about me #my blog #testimonials

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nsfwshiggy · 3 years

Text

tempo

_______________________________________________

paring: dabi x hawks x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, threesome, double penetration, absolutely railed into dumbification, giving/receiving head, anal, deepthroat/facefucking, unprotected vaginal sex, cumming inside

word count: 2.1k

author's note: i don't know what happened or how this happened.. hope you enjoy lol

*side note after finishing, i don't know if i like the way this one turned out?

_______________________________________________

usually you were very nitpicky with who you slept with but today you just didn't care about anything. the week barely just started and you were already counting down the days until you were freed by the weekend.

you didn't want to have sex with anyone you knew because there was no real thrill in doing that. you just didn't care about today let alone care about tomorrow's consequences. you had already put dating apps on your phone but never actually used them - they made you nervous.

you set up your account only adding two pictures, your face and one of lingerie you had just bought for the occasion. you had never planned on doing this again so why not make it special. you added a short and sweet bio:

looking for a simple one night stand. no feelings and no repercussions.

you left the app alone for a few hours because if this was actually going to happen you needed to get ready. you cleaned up your hotel room, you most definitely weren't giving out your real apartment address to some random person online so you got a hotel room, and put on fresh sheets right out of the package. you also took an extremely long shower, shaving this area and that area as well. you didn't care to put on makeup or do your hair either so you just didn't.

---

four hours had passed since you made your account and you were honestly excited to see what kind of people would be interested in doing something like this. of course there was people you considered creepy and you just simply passed from those. you scrolled and scrolled until one piqued your interest.

dabi. he was extremely attractive with a nice body full of tattoos. if you were to pass him on the street you would definitely ask for his number but since this was strictly a one night stand you decided to keep it just as is. you were already feeling quite cocky about this whole thing so you messaged him -

if you actually look like your pictures you should definitely come over

you two continued the conversation back and forth for about thirty minutes before you actually gave him the hotel address and room number. you were finally starting to get nervous because he said that he would bring a surprise but wouldn't elaborate anymore than that.

you needed something to calm yourself down so you decided to have a glass of wine but not too much because you still wanted to remember everything tomorrow. you were looking out the hotel window at the amazing view you had just for one night before you heard a knock on the door.

you slowly walked to the door and looked through the peephole, it was in fact that same guy you saw in the pictures which helped calm you down more. nothing looked suspicious so you opened the door smiling at him, "hi i'm glad you came" you say letting him in.

it was weird because he didn't have anything in this hands that could possibly be your surprise so you thought maybe he had just forgot. you had a robe on covering the lingerie that you had put as one of your pictures but before you could let the robe drop to the floor there was another knock on the door.

you looked at the man standing before you confused but all he was doing was smirking. you walk back over to the door and looked through the peephole once again but you saw nothing. you look back at dabi and told him no one was there. you opened the door to look around and when you turned your head to the left there he was.

leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette right under the no smoking sign. "i wasn't sure if i had the right room.." he tells you blowing out smoke "but now that i have seen you, i think i got it right."

"surprise!" you hear from dabi behind you. this was your surprise? you were so beyond confused. "what are you talking about?" you ask him while the unnamed man let himself into your hotel room without permission.

"you said before that this was going to be a one time thing so why not make it memorable?" he says to you laughing before walking over to you pulling you into a kiss. you didn't even try to push away, you just kissed him back. "you aren't even going to introduce us?" you hear the man behind you ask.

"oh shit sorry. this is hawks. he is a friend of mine and we are both here to fuck you" he says while dragging a finger down your body until he reached the place that was keeping your robe from opening. he gave no care to it and quickly pulled on it so that it would come open giving him a good look at your body.

the man behind you, hawks, pulled the robe off the rest of the way letting it fall to the floor. you could feel his hands touching your waist and then his lips on the back of your neck. "i mean why not?" you tell them because like you said before you didn't care what happened tonight.

you walked away from both of the men and got on the bed and used your finger to call them over to you. they both walked over to you and in the process they took off what they were wearing only leaving their boxers on. you could see the outline of both of their dicks which made your mouth water.

forgetting about how nervous you were before it was all excitement now. dabi walks over to you without getting on the bed and pulls down his boxers letting his erection slap against his stomach. you lean over to get in front of him and slowly lick up his shaft while looking up at him. hawks was now behind you on the bed rubbing your ass and sliding a finger down your clothed slit making you moan in the process.

hawks pulled down your panties letting them fall to your knees while beginning to lick your wet heat and inserting a single finger into the hole you weren't expecting him to. this caught you off guard while you already had your mouth around dabi so it made you gasp around him sending vibrations up his body.

"do that again hawks" he said while grabbing a fist full of your hair pushing your head down further around him almost reaching the base. hawks did what he was told like dabi was the one in charge and pushed his finger into your hole again but this time he pushed it in further. it was a sensation you had never felt before and you didn't know if you liked it or not because right now it hurt and the only thing you were feeling was a burning sensation.

dabi liked the feeling of being down your throat, he liked seeing the tears forming in your eyes while you looked up at him while he thrusted his hips making his cock go deeper and deeper each time. hawks spit on his fingers so this time when he inserted the second finger it would go in easier, "i have to get you ready for me" he says while kissing your ass. he knew it didn't feel good but it would eventually.

every time dabi would trust into your mouth it would push you back on to hawks' fingers making them go deeper touching the spongey place deep inside you. because he had been doing it for a little while now it was starting to feel good making you moan around dabi. "that's it baby girl" you hear one of them say, you couldn't tell who had said it but you didn't care.

you knew dabi was close to cumming when he fully pushed himself down your throat and held your head there making his cock twitch before hot seed was being pumped down your throat. dabi was moaning out cuss words while he still had his dick down your throat, you tried to swallow around him so you could breathe a little bit but it was no help. noticing you were almost out of breath completely dabi finally pulled out and tells you sorry while you tried to catch your breath again.

"you can't break her just yet" you hear hawks say chuckling at dabi. he had fully stretched you enough so that it would be easy for him to enter his dick later. you wiped your mouth from the spit that came out while dabi was face fucking you. you were already such a mess and this was only the beginning.

dabi lays down on the bed and tells you to ride him. you make your way over to him before you are pulled away by hawks. "i get to fuck her first. you already got to cum loser" he says pushing you over the side of the bed with your ass in the air. he lines himself up with your tight hole before pushing it in making you grip onto the bed sheets.

he can hear dabi speaking to him but because of the pain you couldn't make out what they were saying. hawks was slowly thrusting into you so you could get used to it first but then he heard you start to moan. he smiled and started to pick up his speed, just like dabi before he grabbed a fist full of your hair and pulled making your back arch forcing his cock deeper in you.

you had never done anal before but now you think it might be your new favorite thing. hawks slaps your ass with his other hand before letting go of your hair so he could grab onto your hips, his trust really starting to pick up now. you could feel his nails digging into your skin as you notice that dabi was watching you both while stroking himself.

hawks didn't want to finish just yet so he pulled out right before he did. because of the position you were just in your legs become a shaking mess making it hard for you to stand or even move. hawks picks you up and places you down on the mattress next to dabi, "let's fuck her at the same time" he says getting on the bed with the both of you.

dabi was already laying down and hawks got in front of him. dabi helped you get on top of him slowly entering himself into your wet cunt making you moan out loud because it had been awhile since you had sex and it felt so good to have something deep inside you. you thought you would cum just from this alone but before you could you felt yourself being pushed over so now you were chest to chest with dabi.

hawks inserted himself into you again but this time it went in way easier. the feeling of having both of them inside you was a feeling you had never felt before and you didn't want it to end. you could feel them rubbing against each other while still being inside you causing an amazing friction sensation. "fuck hawks she feels so good around my dick. she squeezing around me so hard" he says while grabbing onto your hips and trusting into you at the same time hawks was.

you had never had two guys at one time before but they were making you feel so good. you couldn't think of anything while you were being fucked by both men. your mouth had fallen open so now drool was coming out and landing on dabis stomach making a mess. "look at her dabi" hawks says while reaching around to squeeze your nipples making them hard, "she is going dumb around our cocks she can't even keep her mouth shut" he says making them both laugh

you were so close to finishing it but you didn't want it to end just yet so you continued to let them use your body and tried your best to not finish just yet. until they were cumming inside you filling up both of your holes, the warmth of their cum entering you made you finally reach your end making your eyes cross in the process. you were still a drooling and twitching mess when they finally both pulled out of you and left you laying on the bed.

"if you ever want to do this again" dabi says zipping up his jeans, "you know where to find me." you watch as both men walk out the door while you still try to catch your breath and calm down, you could feel their cum dripping out of you and onto the bed beneath you.

©️nsfwshiggy

#mha smut #bnha smut #boku no hero x reader #my hero academia smut #hawks x you #hawks x reader #dabi x hawks #dabi x you #dabi x y/n #hawks x dabi x reader #dabi smut #hawks smut

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creambunnie · 3 years

Text

Fall For Me 🌬

Chapter 15 ;

the following days, you started greeting Jeno by his locker every morning. you even bought extra breakfast for him sometimes, back to giving him snacks like when you just started going after him.

"morning Jeno! here is your favourite chocolate bun for breakfast!" you chirped as soon as he reached his locker.

Jeno smiled widely and thanked you as he accepted the bun.

Aya and Jaemin were relieved the two of you weren't fighting or having a cold war with each other anymore. they really didn't want your group of friends to be awkward.

you also did not hang out much with Yangyang after that day. you only talked to him in class and gave all your attention to Jeno besides that.

Yangyang was a bit sad but he didn't take it to heart. he trusted and respected your decisions. he didn't want to ruin your friendship with Jeno again.

during short breaks, you would go to Jeno's desk to talk about random things with him.

it was just like a few months ago when you just confessed to Jeno and was trying to make him fall for you. Jeno felt happy but at the same time, he was a bit uneasy.

even though your actions were sincere and did not seemed forced at all, there was something different. he didn't know what, he just felt like something was different.

Jeno shook his thoughts aside and just enjoyed your attention.

"hey Jeno, i was thinking if you wanted to study together for the upcoming tests?" you asked nervously.

Jeno smiled and nodded. "sure, this weekend? where should we meet up?".

you nodded your head but then shook it.

"this weekend, but we don't need to meet up. i kind of wanted to experience the online study date we did again." you bit your lips, afraid Jeno would think that you were weird. instead, Jeno only chuckled and patted your head.

"sure! why not".

as promised, the two of you videocalled each other on the Saturday, just like your first virtual date.

however, you were not staring at Jeno through the screen of your phone but were actually focusing fully on your reading materials.

it was Jeno who was admiring you from the other side of the screen. Jeno only snapped back into reality when you called out his name to ask some questions that you were unsure of.

a couple of hours later, Jeno's stomach grumbled from hunger. he patted his tummy and happily suggested to you.

"shall we eat together now?"

your eyes were still focused on your book as you replied him.

"oh you can eat, i had a heavy breakfast just now, i'm still full."

Jeno frowned slightly. "are you sure?" you only nodded at his question and continued practising solving some equations.

Jeno waited for a bit but seeing that you were really not eating with him, Jeno sadly cooked a bowl of instant noodles for himself.

as he ate, you were already revising your next subject. it seemed like your main purpose for this 'date' was to really revise for your tests, not to make cute happy memories with Jeno. the said boy sighed as he ate his lunch by himself. the hot noodles felt cold when he ate alone.

before he could suggest anything else, you told Jeno you had to go help your mother so you had to end the videocall.

the next week, you approached Jeno again during break as usual. this time, you invited him to walk back home with you today. Jeno of course agreed happily.

you actually didn't plan to eat anything on your way back home, but Jeno saw an ice cream stand and wanted to buy for the both of you.

"mmmmm cheap ice cream is always the best!" Jeno exclaimed and chomped on his cold dessert.

you chuckled by his side and licked yours slowly. "for me, free ice cream is the best!" you stuck your tongue out as you joked.

you and Jeno walked side by side, having small talks here and there while enjoying your ice creams.

"ah Jeno, you have some on your lips" you told him and pointed to your own lips.

Jeno frowned and muttered. "you're not gonna wipe it for me?"

you blinked. "hmm??"

Jeno awkwardly coughed and quickly licked the stain on his lips.

"nothing"

you chuckled again lightly and playfully nudged Jeno. "i don't have any tissues with me right now. it would be dirty to wipe them with my thumb".

Jeno only hummed in acknowledgment. you only sighed in your heart and continued walking in silence.

"y/n. tomorrow during lunch, can you meet me on the rooftop for a while?".

you bit your lips.

"ok."

Jeno felt the slight coldness in your voice but he thought it was maybe his imagination.

"great!"

"i like you, y/n. can i be your boyfriend?"

a/n : hi!!! sorry for the late update >~< hope yall enjoyed this chapter! sadly, next week will be the last chapter for Fall For Me 🌬 ! but do stay tuned for the EPILOGUE chapter after~

taglist : @neomoonmr @marklexleaf @cookydream @sunflowerhae @bockhyun

masterlist prev chapter next chapter >>

#nct #nct dream #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #nct angst #nct jeno #lee jeno #jeno imagines #lee jeno angst #nct dream jeno #jeno fluff #lee jeno fluff #fall for me 🌬

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sweetestlamb · 3 years

Text

Wake Me Up Inside(Chapter 2)

Summary: Hope is a flickering light, coming and going as it sees fit.

Author's note: Y'all like this? Color me surprised I thought everyone had cast Sujin aside based on tumblr post honestly, expected maybe 3 people to read this. I'm happy so many are enjoying, thanks for coming along for the ride. If any talented individuals want to make me a header that would be great, anyway enjoy the teen angst. More awful parenting, beware. it hurts me to write this but random immediate romance doesn’t make sense to me so here we goooo.

The world seems larger, everyone towers over her as they squeeze by jostling her tiny body, she twists and turns desperately searching for a familiar face and faltering when there is none. Just blurred faces with stretched out smiles that are horrifying grotesque, almost as if they were painted on by a deranged circus clown. She begins to run frantically racing away from the figures, who are now reaching out for her grabbing her arm and tugging at her pigtails. She opens her mouth but nothing comes out, bringing a trembling hand to her lips she finds them sewn shut, silencing her petrified screams.

Then a hand clutches at her elbow and she's spun around, suddenly staring into the face of evil.

"Where have you been you brat? Everyone was waiting for you."

She tries to tug free of his punishing grip but his fingers tighten on her tender flesh, marking the delicate skin. Ignoring her evident trepidation he forcefully pushes her towards a table, with a large looming birthday cake.

"Hurry up and blow out these candles, you're almost old enough to be useful to me."

Screaming no in her mind, she breaks free of his hold running as fast as her compact legs will take her but she miscalculates and trips over a stray toy, tumbling over the edge of a pool she hadn't noticed there earlier. The cold splash of the chlorine scented water on her skin shocks her in a panicked daze and when she pries her eyes open the menacing face of her father greets her looking nonplussed by her hectic drowning.

"Good riddance." He smirks sipping from his cup as he stalks away, no longer bothered with her.

Water constructs her airway and she continues to sink to the bottom. Forgotten and discarded.

With a flash she bursts from her nightmare silent scream on her tongue, it's his presence that silences her cry. Wide feline eyes regard her from his crouched position, it takes a moment to realize that the rapid puffs of air filling the room are coming from her lips. She grips at the mattress beneath her, hopelessly pleading with her heart and lungs as her body quivers from the intensity of her dream.

"Are you okay? You looked like you were having a bad dream, I called your name a few times."

She's decidedly not any semblance of okay and has no concept of what that would entail for her but she finds herself nodding, lying as easily as she always does.

"I'm fine." Clipped and brisk despite the cold sweat on her skin, she's probably soaked through his shirt the collar almost plastered to red collar bones.

He doesn't reply further than pursing his lips and walking over to a dresser she'd hadn't noticed earlier.

"That lie would probably be more believable if you didn't look as if you were going to pass out at any second." She can hear his eyes rolling at her and it raises her heckles, she doesn't need anyone looking after her, she is fine on her own.

"I should go." She says curtly, forcing herself out of the dangerously warm bed to walk across the room and test her previously soaked pajamas. Damp, but they'll do.

"I thought you had nowhere to go." He challenges finally standing to his full height, subconsciously she flinches at the sudden movement and immediately he takes a step back pressing himself almost flush with the wall. Lowering his head until they are almost eye level. Shame washes over her do strongly she has to turn away, so pathetic.

Speaking to his bedpost she answers, "That was last night. I can go home now."

Her father will be at work until late into the evening, she just needs to lock herself in her room and she should be safe until school tomorrow.

He hums at her sounding closer than he did earlier, "You don't have to go. I'll find an excuse to give my mom, you can stay here."

No she can't. She knows what's going through his mind, probably the same thing that went through Suho's when he saw the blood on her lip for the first time, you poor little thing. Pity was always the first reaction but it never lasted, eventually pity shifted to annoyance nobody wanted to be friends with someone getting beaten. It was depressing, and uncomfortable to discuss and there was nothing anyone could do to help her. It was her penance for being born a girl and not being the best at least to make up for that disappointment.

"I'm not a stray puppy, you can't just pick me up off the street and expect me to stay. I told you, I'm fine." This time she says it harder, sharper with a bite that screams don't push me.

Unsurprisingly enough Han Seojun doesn't seem intimidated by her.

This time she gets to witness the eye roll as he approaches her but still keeps his head lowered as if deferring to her. "I already told you that I don't pity you, you need help stop pretending you don't."

But she's not pretending, that would imply that she wants others to help secretly. That just isn't accurate, she wants nothing- expects nothing. Her father pound any inkling of hope she had out a long time ago.

Stepping into his space, her eyes narrow as she bites out, "I don't need anything certainly not help from you. You're not a nice person, what am I your one good deed? Just mind your business."

She pointedly glances away at the flash of hurt that scatters across his expressive face.

She expects him to lash out, stretch to his full form and berate her, reprimand her ungrateful behavior and an even darker side of her almost expects him to slap her. I see why your father does that, you deserve it.

"Suit yourself."

That's all he says solemnly with a shrug before tossing more dry clothes at the bed and silently exiting the room.

She feels worse than she did before. Guilt gnawing at her, she ignores the offered clothes she doesn't deserve his hospitality or warmth. She disrobes and puts back on the damp chilled pajamas, that matches her better.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

That's what he gets for trying to help someone, his act of kindness thrown back in his face. Angrily he pours the boiling water into the waiting cup, starting his mother's mandatory morning tea. He's so lost in the routine that he doesn't notice her presence until she clears her throat. His pride stops him from turning around, her words were as painful as a dagger.

"Your clothes are on the bed. I called a cab."

He nods without looking back, "Get home saf--" He cuts himself off, maybe he's overstepping again. So he just hums and stirs the now perfect cup of tea with a splash of milk. His sister's will get three sugars, she has such a sweet tooth.

The soft snap of the front door closing is loud in the silence of the morning, the sun has barely risen. His mother will be out in an hour, he was worried for nothing. Nobody will even know she was here. He can pretend this was all a fever dream and listen to her advice, he's never minded anyone else's business why did he decide to start now?

Lesson learned.

He spends the remainder of his weekend not thinking about the bruises on her face and instead plays video games, bullying Suho into playing Call of Duty with him online until the stupid genius starts to win too often and it's no longer stress reducing.

"Sore loser." He scoffs at the staticky insult through his headphones, draining the can of soda he took from the fridge. He should start dinner soon, his mom and sister will be back from shopping any minute.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did." He can't help but roll his eyes at the lame response but he pushes on ignoring his brain shouting at him that this is the opposite of minding his business. He hardly listens to his brain, his gut is much stronger.

"Does Sujin have any siblings? Or does she like to box or anything like that? " He tries to make sense of the night, maybe it wasn't what he thought initially. From his memory Sujin comes from a very affluent respectable family, there's no way right?

"What? What kind of question is that?"

"Just answer me." He quips impatiently, ready to let go of this unwarranted worry that's been weighing on his heart.

After a long pause where he checks if his Wi-Fi disconnected he finally hears a response, "No. She lives with her mother and father, she's an only child. And I’ve never known her to do anything physical like that."

His chest tightens, not what he wanted to hear. Her flinch this morning flashes brightly in his memory. He wasn't mistaken. He's sure of it, she'd been scared.

"Why?"

He can barely hear through the ringing in his ear, "Nothing. I have to go."

He signs off before the other boy can reply, walking autopilot to the kitchen to get started on dinner. Chopping vegetables does nothing to stop the nausea bubbling in his stomach.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Taking the bus the next day is out of the question, he has spent the entire weekend wishing he had the nerve to get the girl's number but anyone he asked would misunderstand why and he didn't need anymore rumors circulating, he would just have to get it from her himself. If she wanted him to mind his business she shouldn't have collapsed where he could see.

The engine rumbles between his legs as he brings his motorcycle to a stop, swinging off effortlessly before tugging the helmet off and shaking his hair free. He doesn't notice the various lecherous female and male eyes watching his very moment, too focused on walking into the school and finding her.

Turning a corner he sees her instantly, sandwiched between her two best friends, they look like a high school brochure giggling as they walk down the hallway garnering the attention of most of the male population. The purple bruise on her cheek is missing, nothing but smooth blemish free skin. He almost does a double take. As all three of them pass him, he locks eyes with Sujin for a moment, the mask slides off for a second but the moment he blinks the façade snaps back into place, nothing left but a pretty empty smile.

He follows them into class, sliding into his seat and promptly going to sleep. He has to catch her alone.

Doing so proves to be a near impossible feat, she's always surrounded by her two bestie shadows and Chorong and the gang are never far from him either. He sighs forlornly even time he sees her only for someone to interrupt before he can approach her. All too frustrated.

He's sitting dejected on the staircase when he hears the bustle of students in the hallway, their voices carrying down the long space and he rolls his eyes imagining what ridiculous situation they've deemed as drama now. Last time it was Ju-Kyung having pimples, a topic that was completely groundbreaking and worthy of weeks of discussion. So it's with the smallest shred of curiosity that he stands up wandering over to the commotion.

"What's going on?" He directs to the closest person, some mousy looking girl who stutters out an indecipherable answer. He looks at her confused before stalking away to find someone who has a better grasp of communication. He poses the question again, to a boy this time.

"I heard one of the girls started freaking out in the bathroom. Screaming not to be touched."

He stands frozen before the words register in his brain and his feet are moving without his brain's permission. Shoving past gossiping bystanders, he easily gets to the front only to see Ju-Kyung covering someone with her sweater as they walk down the hallway. Immediately the crowd comes alive and they surge forward like a wave all calling questions out at once, "What's wrong with you?", "Why did you freak out?", "Who do you think you are? Are you too rich to be touched or something?"

He twists his head around ferociously at the last question, everyone in front of him gulps while taking a step back. The hallway is a cacophony of voices and shouts and he can feel his anger boiling, slamming his fist into the nearest surface-a wall- he gets everyone's attention.

"Go back to your classes. Now."

Some of the male students look as if they are going to challenge his authority but another step forward is all it takes to get the student body scampering to their classrooms.

Inhaling deeply he stomps off to find the source of his unease.

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It had been hard to disregard, how lacking of warmth her house was. Seojun's apartment had been brimming with warmth and love, the fridge bursting with papers and drawings documenting that someone cared enough to show them off. Her home was a large empty prison in comparison.

But she'd been right, it was dark and quiet proof that her parents were not home. With her heart in her throat she ran to her room, locking the door behind her. Sleep captured her before she knew she was in its grasps, waking up groggy hours later and forgetting where she was. Fierce pounds on her door reminded her instantly.

"Open this door now."

His voice is a low growl, even more terrifying than when he's screaming his lungs out. She grabs her vanity chair pressing it under the door knob for more protection.

She jumps when the door bulges, the loud crashing making it clear that he's slamming bodily into the door now determined to get to her.

"Please....stop." She pleads, tears already cascading down her bruised cheeks.

"Open this fucking door!!"

She's sobbing now, body folded as she cries her eyes out shaking viciously as her father continues to ran into the door, dread filling her stomach as he's never fought this hard before.

Then everything is quiet.

The pounding is gone as suddenly as it arrived. She doesn't let go her panic just yet, still too raw. Butt seconds crawl to minutes and she hears nothing so she finally exhales, sliding to the floor in relief.

She weakly crawls to her bathroom, turning the dial to the hottest temperature possible wanting to burn off his brand on her skin. After her shower she brushes her wet hair, staring at the bruise, it's turning yellow now with tinges of purple. Good thing she let Su-ah and Ju-Kyung convince her to buy foundation the last time they were in the beauty store. She will have to layer it on tomorrow.

She's starving but the thought of leaving her room with him in the house is enough to eliminate her appetite. Instead she puts on a warm sweater and sweat pants and wraps herself in a thick blanket, still too cold ice running through her veins.

She had never felt as warm as she did at his house.

A quiet knock thankfully pulls her away from such unnecessary thoughts. She simply listens.

"Su-jin, it's mom. I brought you food."

She sits up, crawling out of bed to stand in front of the bed. Her mother has never brought her food, even when she was nine and hadn't gotten a perfect score on her spelling test and her father locked her in the closet for two days with only a dictionary. She'd contemplated eating the pages before she was finally set free. Her mother had simply looked away, avoiding eye contact until she was safely back in her room.

But her stomach grumbles at the mention of sustenance and despite her best judgement she opens the door.

It's a mistake.

Immediately she notes that her mother has nothing in her hands, trembling herself and before she can slam the door shut a foot blocks her escape.

He uses the belt that time whipping her in places that others will never see, her back, thighs, and shoulders. Her mother's weakly calls out, "Don't hit her face she has to meet that boy you wanted this week."

It goes on for what seems like hours, he leaves her crumpled on the ground her body stinging as she refused to cry, blinking her tears away not wanting to give him what he wants. When her mother meekly walks over and extends a hand to her, she looks at her with listless eyes. Her mother has a fresh bruise on her cheek, her father hardly hits her anymore using Sujin has his punching bag instead but at times of high frustration he would regress.

She wonders if her mother knew that one day this would be her faith. If this was the purpose of her birth.

She doesn't take the hand. It seems there was still some hope left, it is extinguished now.

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The school day had been easy she's been hiding her abuse for years, no teacher had ever suspected a thing and she didn't even blame them. It would just be bothersome, her father was a powerful man there wouldn't be much they could do.

She slaps on a smile, allowing herself to be dragged around by Su-ah and Ju-Kyung, listening as they giggle about their boyfriends chiming in the appropriate moments to not seem disinterested or jealous. She is jealous though, of their freedom and innocent problems, she'd lost her innocence a long time ago.

She knows Seojun is trying to talk to her but she can't handle seeing him right now, having to face someone who knows what she's going through sounds worst than being beat right now. So she jolts at every sight of the tall lanky figure, thankful for his fan club who seems to announce his every arrival. She's on her way to having a successful day when everything goes to hell.

She's in the bathroom drying her hands when a classmate comes in, responding to the small talk she answers the girl's question before nodding her head in goodbye.

"Oh your tag is sticking out."

That's all she hears before a hand is brushing across her sore beaten neck and her reaction is instantaneous, she turns around catching the offending hand and twisting it.

Her throat wheezes out, "Don't touch me."

The girl stares at her wide-eyed before tugging her hand away, then other girls begin to come of the stalls to see what's happening and before she knows it she's hyperventilating on the ground, nonsensical words dripping off her tongue. Everything is too loud and her head is splitting in half just when her vision is graying out, she smells a familiar perfume.

"Su-jin ah, you're going to be okay. Just breathe with me, follow me."

Ju-Kyung's voice is calming and sure, not touching her but covering them both in her sweater as she models how to breathe, she follows until her lungs are no longer burning.

"Good. You're doing so good, is it okay if I touch you? I'm going to help you up."

She grabs at the bathroom wall yanking herself until she's upright, trying to show her friend that she's not that weak but a look of hurt is displayed on her face and Sujin doesn't comprehend why.

The other girl shakes it off though, now covering her fully with her cornflower yellow sweater.

She's suddenly reminded of her nightmare this morning as she has to pass all the students in the hallway, all pointing and laughing as she falls apart some of them even have their phone out recording her and she sways uneasily before catching herself, trembling the whole way she walks down the hallway until a loud bang and a voice she recognizes all too well silences the uproar.

Resisting the desire to look back she allows Ju-Kyung to pull her up the stairs until they're on the roof. Air pumps into her lungs as she's finally free of all the judgmental eyes.

She expects the other girl to start interrogating her the moment the door closes but it never comes, instead Ju-Kyung places her sweater around her trembling body.

"You're okay. Just keep breathing."

She does her best to follow the uncomplicated directions.

After a few minutes, Ju-Kyung's phone suddenly rings disturbing the quietude. She barely hears blood rushing in her ears like the waves at the beach.

"Okay we're on the roof."

She stills at that utterance, turning in alarm.

"Who was that? Who did you tell where we are?"

Ju-Kyung looks guilty, as if she wasn't meant to hear that conversation. She doesn't want to see anyone right now, can barely stand to be with herself.

"Call them back and tell them not to come. I want to be alone."

Ju-Kyung holds her phone in her hands gingerly staring at the screen, clearly contemplating what is the right decision. She almost lunges for the phone to see who is the most recent call, but it's not needed as the roof door slams open.

"Why are you here?" She shouts, walking away now furious that tears are already filling her eyes now just at the sight of him.

"Nice to see you too princess." He drawls back, following her further onto to roof.

"Will you two be okay? I have to go back to class."

She spins to glare at her friend, why would she leave her alone with Seojun? They have had any interaction at school that hasn't been antagonistic.

"Yes, we need to talk." He answers for them and that's enough to make Ju-Kyung nod before walking off with a smile in her direction. The door shuts loudly behind her retreating back, Sujin wants to chase after her. Instead she turns back to him spitting fire and poison.

"I told you to mind your business."

"Are you okay?" He counters, eying her like a wild animal who can bolt at any minute, he isn’t wrong.

"That's none of your business!"

His expression remains the same, those beguiling feline eyes that scream at her.

"How hurt are you?"

Her emotions come crashing down again. He just keeps pushing and picking at her, no matter how much she shouts and shoves him away he just won’t go away like everyone else did. What is wrong with him? Couldn’t he see that she was more trouble than she was worth?

"What do you want to hear, huh? That everything hurts, that he used a belt this time! Do you want to hear about how he beat me until I bleed! Why do you care what happens me, why won't you leave me the fuck alone!"

Sobs ravage her body, she keeps brushing the fiery tears away fighting with her emotions but they won't stop and her palms are wet from covering her face, her breath is hitching until she starts hiccupping uncontrollably and she starts to feel light-headed.

"Hey! Su-jin! Breathe!"

But she can't, she doesn't remember how. Her body only knows how to hurt.

"Breathe, damnit!" Despite his shout, she hears the slight quiver in his voice but she can't discern why it's there but it desperately makes her want to obey.

When he cups her head, staring her head on she feels the vine wrapped around her lungs shrivel up and air starts gushing in until she feels dizzy, she sways back and forth gravity now also working against her and then she's being reeled in, her head placed on his chest. The thumping of his heart lulls her into a meditative state, she starts to count the beats and before she knows it the cobwebs in her head subside. Embarrassed by their sudden closeness, his arms are still by his side now almost immediately retracting from her head but she can feel his warmth radiating onto the skin of her thighs, she begins to draw back.

"Just stay. It's helping."

She blisters at his words, preparing to push him away.

"It's helping me, seeing you like that....it scared me. I helped you the other night, you should return the favor."

She puffs up before deflating, she'll never admit it but this is helping having something else to focus on, his scent, his heartbeat, the way his chest expands and constricts with every breath. The buzz of their skin nearly touching, his deep voice rumbling through his chest and into her ears, all placating and soothing her worries away.

"Fine."

She's never known Seojun to stay still for this long after years of attending the same school, always bursting with kinetic energy so she's pleasantly surprised by how long he simply stands and lets her rest on his chest, neither of them saying a word.

She stiffens when he suddenly starts moving disturbing their stillness, she sees his hands balled into tight fists by his side and wonders what's going through his mind.

"You can't go back there."

This again, she starts to remind him that she has nowhere to g--

"Stay with me."

#true beauty #true beauty kdrama #kang sujin #han seojun #the couple that should have been #timeline is around recent episodes just minus ALL of the bullshit #sujin is a good girl and I won't hear anything else #can't wait to make her smile

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starlightxsvt · 4 years

Text

Smoke || Jeon Wonwoo au

Paring: Wonwoo x Female reader

Genre: angst, friends to lovers, some fluff, slight smut

Warnings: cursing

A pair of hands land on your shoulders and you jump slightly, a squeak leaving your lips.

"Wonwoo! You scared me!" You hiss, clutching your chest, putting down the books in your hand. Your shift in the library is almost over.

Wonwoo gives you a soft smile, one that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"What are you doing here anyway?"

"Wanted to surprise you. I was free so I thought I'd walk you home." He shrugs, putting his hands in his pockets. You frowned at him slightly, knowing he was hiding something but you let it go for the moment.

"That's really nice of you." You mutter, arranging the books.

He says nothing but watches you do your work quietly.

"I have to stop by the convenience store, do you mind?" You ask as both of you walk side by side, accompanied by the night silence.

"No. Let's go."

You pick up the materials you needed and put them in the small cart, all the while wondering what's wrong with Wonwoo. You knew very well that he didn't visit you to walk you home but because something was bothering him.

You like Wonwoo, more than a close friend. You really liked him but he was rather oblivious to your feelings which you were glad about. You know Wonwoo is seeing someone and even if he didn't, he'd never reciprocate your feelings. As much as it hurt you, Wonwoo was a precious friend and you didn't want to loose him just because of your pathetic unrequited feelings.

You walk to the counter to pay, followed by a quiet Wonwoo who, once reaches there, picks one of the cigarette packets and takes out his money.

You look at him, a little shocked. It was been quite a while since Wonwoo smoked. It took a lot of work on your part to stop that habit of his and seeing him do it again made you upset and realize that something, indeed, was wrong.

"What's wrong, Wonwoo?" You ask once you step out of the store.

"What do you mean?" He doesn't meet your eyes but lights up a cigarette.

You watch him blow out a smoke and sigh,"You are smoking. I thought you said you didn't need to smoke while you're with me."

I don't feel like smoking when you're with me. I just need you, he'd said.

Wonwoo huffs out a breath and sits down at one of the stairs in front of the store. You take a seat beside, maintaining a safe distance from the smoke he breathed.

"Audrey broke up with me."

Oh, so this was the issue.

You don't say anything, instead stare at your feet. He speaks, "She left with that jerk."

"You saw this coming, Wonwoo." You speak quietly.

"Yea but I tried!" He snaps. "I tried my best so that this day would never come. I did everything I could and more for her."

You hated that he was hurt but your hate for how desperate he was for her is far more. You saw vile, ugly emotions of green and you hated the fact that the girl used him like that, while you'd give up everything to be longed by Wonwoo like that.

"You tried too hard Wonwoo. Sometimes letting go hurts less than holding on." The bitter words leave your mouth.

"What?" His brows furrow, irritated. You inhale deeply, "Wonwoo, you need to let her go. She's a bitch who doesn't deserve you. Stop pinning for her when you clearly deserve someone better."

"Don't talk about her like that," he steps on his cigarette and meets your eyes, a clear warning in his tone.

A humorless laugh escapes you as you rub your temples, "Okay seriously?" You stand up, your patience running thin, "Stop acting like a fucking child Wonwoo. Grow up. It's not the end of the world of Audrey doesn't return your feelings.

"Is that your jealousy speaking?" Wonwoo stands up, towering over you, a challenge in his eyes.

You look at him flabbergasted. How did he...

"Yea, just because you think you're doing a good job hiding your feelings for me doesn't mean you really are. The whole campus knows you've got a thing for me so don't act like you weren't jealous of her."

Tears form in your eyes as you gape at him in disbelief. All your self control vanishes as you speak the next words, "Yes, I'm jealous of her! What I have for you is not just a thing, it's my sincere feelings unlike that bitch who has been toying with you since the past year!" You rub your eyes, not letting the tears escape, taking a step towards him. You speak meeting his eyes, "It's not my jealousy speaking because if I wanted, I could've broke the two of you up a long time ago. I'm saying this because I'm tired Wonwoo! I'm tired of being your punching bag! I'm tired of seeing you get hurt repeatedly for someone who doesn't give two shits about you! You always end up getting hurt and I'm the one who collects all your broken pieces. I'm the one who made you stop smoking. I'm the one who holds you together when you fall apart. I've always been there for you Wonwoo but...now I'm wondering... why? To be treated like this?" You voice grows small as you choke back on your tears. Wonwoo looks at you, his jaw clenched and hands fisted.

"I'm done Wonwoo. You're a precious friend to me and I hid my feelings cuz I didn't want to loose you for that. But I'm done being used. I'll see you if you truly want to be friends with me." You whisper and turn around, desperate to escape from his presence.

Weeks have passed by since your last encounter with Wonwoo. As your finals are near you try your best not to think about him; instead you busy yourself with studies. It's the weekend and after a full day of studying you sit in front of the TV, grumpy about the fact that there isn't anything delicious to eat. You contemplate on ordering online when there's a knock on your door.

Wonwoo, the last person you expected, stands there with his hands full of bags. He speaks, "Thought we should have dinner together." You stare at him, astonished at his casual behavior, like nothing happened between you two.

He steps in and places the bags on your kitchen counter, emptying them. You eye the contents - fried chicken and fries with beer, stuffed donuts.

"Go wash your hands. I'll serve them."

"What are you doing Wonwoo? I'm pretty sure you are at the wrong address." You speak watching him plate up. He pauses before his eyes meet yours and he sighs softly, taking a seat on your kitchen stool.

"I've thought a lot about us in these few weeks. And I realized a lot of things. For one, I took you for granted when you are literally the best thing that happened to me, y/n. I... I used you and for that I'm really sorry. I sorry for being a jerk that day when everything you said were true. I'm sorry about so many things."

You stare at the floor not meeting his eyes, arms crossed over your chest as you try to keep your emotions at bay.

"I can't imagine a life without you." He whispers, "I'm not complete without you. You're the one who has held me together until now. You're the one who has been with me through thick and thin. You - you make me want to be a better person. If... if it wasn't for you, I'd be so lost. I'm so glad you came into my life y/n. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Your heart breaks and a stray tear rolls over your cheek. Wonwoo seems to notice as he stands up and cups your cheek, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'll leave if you want me to. I just wanted to see your face and tell you I'm sorry. It has been so long."

You meet his eyes as you place your hands over his, "So what is your point Wonwoo?"

He sighs, "My point is, I don't want to be friends with you. Well, I technically want that but not just friends. I want to be your boyfriend, you best friend, I want to be your everything."

"Are you sure about this? Are you really over Au-"

"Fuck Audrey, fuck everyone. It is you. It was you since the very first moment. I'm sorry it took me so long to understand."

You heart swells with love and you can't hold back anymore as your lips clash with his. You thread your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as his hands find purchase on your waist. Soon enough he's picking you up and putting you on the kitchen counter as his hands tug on your shirt. "Wonwoo, what are you doing?" You gasp, breathless.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he murmurs, planting kisses along your neck as his hands travel all over your body,accompanied by your soft sighs and moans.

"The food will get cold."

"Yeah? Well the food can wait but I can't." He attaches his lips to yours again, picking you up and heading for your bedroom. "Someone's really horny." You smile against his lips.

"Well you are not any better." He retorts putting you on the bed and softly kissing your cheek before taking off his shirt.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you."

"Mmhmm."

He smiles,"I gave up smoking, for good. I really, only need you."

A/N: Happy Birthday to our precious bag of luck and my bias wrecker,Jeon Wonwoo. This one is dedicated to him. And thanks to y'all for loving my previous work, it really made me very happy :"). As always, feedbacks are appreciated! 💖

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chaeiimimi · 3 years

Text

Chilly

Akaashi Keiji X Reader

Genre: slight angst

Tokyo has always been a busy city. A lot of people walking down the streets, some were talking on the phone, some were anxiously staring at their watches and some were just having a peaceful evening walk.

It was the holiday season, so there’s no shock that the busy streets of the city was filled with couples more than usual. Two people in love with each other, being in each other’s arm as they stared at each other with love-struck eyes. Love seemed to fill the air of Tokyo and the giant tree in the middle of the city made it even better.

But then there you were, a single salary woman who can’t get into a relationship after her break-up three years ago

you stared at the window of the café you. were staying in, looking at a diversity of couples that walk by every few seconds

“geez even grade schoolers have dates” you mumble to yourself as you took a sip of your latte

It’s not like you haven’t tried dating, you’ve met up with a lot of people, every gender but you can’t seem to find someone who can satisfy you, even your friends had to get involved in your dating life, making profiles for you on online dating apps and even setting you up with people they know ranging from their friends to their colleagues and even their family members, but nothing clicked.

after trying for two years you eventually gave up “the right person will come at the right time” you told yourself over and over again

well seems like that person is taking their precious time

"wow talk about looking miserable*

Your head jolted up and saw non other than Bokuto Koutarou standing in front of you with about six different kinds of cake

You scoffed at him as he sat down in front of you

"I think Iwaizumi wouldn't be happy if he sees you eating that Kou" you pointed out to your athlete cousin

"don't worry I'll do extra workouts at home" he says as he begins to dive in the chocolate mousse cake

After being tied with him since like the day you were born, you are now convinced that Bokuto Koutarou will never grow up

"By the way, are you coming next friday?" he asked as he takes another bite of his cake

You tilted your head in confusion

"Akaashi's enggagement party" he looks at you eyes held a hint of worry

"yeah" you nodded

A comfortable silence engulfed the two of you as you stared at the couples passing by again

Do you ever think about me?

"Keiji, what do you want to do for christmas?" you asked your boyfriend who was immersed in his book

He quickly looks up to you his eyes soft

"whatever you want to do love" he said this with the most gentle voice

"but I want you to enjoy the holidays too" you whined and plopped down the couch beside him

"being with you is already enough for me" he says as he leans in to you and gave your shoulder a kiss before resting his head on your shoulders as he continues to read

You smiled ruffling his hair your heart beating a little faster and louder than usual because you knew you felt the same way

When she ain't around, is your bed cold without me?

"Keiji let go I need to make breakfast!" you try to pry your boyfriend's hands off your waist but he just held on to you tighter

"but its a weekend~" he whined

You sighed, he's always like this when he's sleepy especially in the mornings

"but we need to eat, we have plans remember?" you try to convince him

"but I want to cuddle more"

imnotgivinginimnotgivinginimnotgivingini you replayed this pharse for a hundred times in your head now

"how about you stay in bed while i make breakfast yeah?" you try again

Manz quickly shook his head "don't want, the bed's too cold without you"

Well that crumbled your resolve, you just went "screw it" and laid in your bed nuzzling your face on the crook of your boyfriend's neck

Yeah you ended up starting your day two hours late than your original plan

Does her love feels just the same?

"Keiji you need to rest! You're going to get sick!" this is the sixth time you tried to tell him that, you try to pry off the stylus pen on his hand but he just swatted you away

"I need to finish this" he says plainly and continues with his task

"no Keiji, you are not pulling a third all-nighter, I'm not gonna let you ruin your body"

"geez can't you just leave me alone?! you're always nagging and it's very annoying, unlike you, I care about my career"

His sudden outburst made you quiet, you knew that this project was important to Keiji, but he haven't had sleep in like three days, he barely eats and has already consumed a lot of coffee

You only wanted him to take care of his body is that too much to ask?

Your boyfriend's eyes suddenly widen at the realization of what he said

"I-" he couldn't form a form a proper sentence, it seems like fatigue was already hitting his system

You stepped closer to him and gently carass his face "I know love, we can talk about this later, but you need to sleep right now, please, I'll wake you up so that you can finish it on time okay?"

He looks at you, eyes tired, tears threatening to fall down but still had the softness that was only there for you

He nods and encircled his arms on your waist pulling you closer as he nuzzled his face on the crook of your neck

"c'mere big guy, lets get you to bed"

Is she the one to take your last name?

You were cooking dinner for you and your boyfriend who will arrive any moment now

You hummed to yourself as you stir the soup you were making

Too occupied to notice the arrival of your boyfriend, you only noticed when you felt strong arms encircling your waist

"Keiji don't scare me like that!" you scold him

He chuckled and kissed your cheeks "i'm sorry love, you just looked too perfect, I can't wait to marry you"

Whatever the case, I'm glad you're happy

"So this is it huh?" you stared at your now ex-boyfriend tears streaming down your face non-stop

"I'm sorry, things are just not the same anymore" he was also crying

How you ended up this way, nobody knows

"don't apologise, it was the best five years, i hope the best for you, I'll be packing my stuff now" you ended the conversation abruptly not trusting your voice, you immediately got up and entered your room making sure to lock it, only then were you able to let out the whimpers and hiccups you've been trying to hold in

You sighed, it happened three years ago, you were already over it

You stared at Akaashi who was now greeting some of his visitors with his fiance in his arms

His eyes landed on you and you gave him a soft smile, lifted your glasses and mouthed "congratulations"

He also smiled at you and nodded proceeding to talk to more of the guests

You looked down at your drink and let yourself sigh for the second time, your ex is getting married and here you are still single as a pringle

After catching up with some old friends and a little bit of drink you decided it was time to head home

As soon as you stepped out of the venue, the chilly air greeted you, you immediately shivered, you were wearing slacks and a thick long sleeve top and your house was like three blocks away so you didn't feel the need to bring a coat

"geez i forgot its December" you said to yourself as you rubbed your arm in attempt to keep you warm

This was stopped when you felt a coat drape over you

You looked up to see where it came from and a sight of a tall black-haired boy greeted you, judging by the way he dressed, it was clear that he was from the party as well, he also looked very familiar

"uhm-" you were about to take off the jacket when he said

"keep it on, you look like you need it" you decided to not take it off because he was right and he didn't look suspicious but you were still on guard

"thanks" you gave him a small smile

He just nodded but a hint of redness was evident at the tip of his ears, you assumed it was just because of the cold

"I'm Y/N by the way, L/N Y/N" you introduced yourself

"Kageyama, Kageyama Tobio"

#Haikyuu x reader #Haikyuu!#Haikyuu x y/n #Akaashi #Akaashi Keji #Kageyama #Kageyama Tobio

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profoundsaladshoeshark · 3 years

Text

DAY 1 APRIL 29, 2021

Good Morning everyone! So many requirements this week and I can't handle it anymore. I can't manage my time and don't know what to do. I didn't have enough sleep. It's so gloomy outside and rainy. I want to sleep but I have some lessons to study.

It's so cold outside, end of school year is quite near and I'm super excited. I should do first this requirements before enjoying myself watching Netflix movies.

So many tasks to do this week and I'm preparing myself to be productive to do this tasks without being lazy. Before I do some tasks, my grandmother asked me for help to clean her room. We replace the curtains, we mop the floor, we decided to take a break and have some snacks. She made my favorite pineapple juice and I toasted the slice bread and we enjoy eating together.

This Thursday, our internet connection gone unstable. I don't know why but it will come back to normal as soon as possible. I went to my room and take a rest. I used my cellphone, surfed the net, and listen to my favorite classic songs. I turned off the lights and went asleep.

DAY 2 APRIL 30, 2021

This Friday, it was so hot in the morning. I went to the bathroom and take a bath. I saw my grandmother making our breakfast for us. It was eggs and hotdogs. We ate it and I will be the one who will wash the dishes. I went to our living room and I watched my favorite show. My favorite channel is the Cartoon Network and my favorite cartoon is We Bare Bears. They're so cute! I want to hug tight and be my companion to bed when I sleep every night.

I called mom and we talked for awhile when she's not busy. She's working abroad. I dropped the call because I have something to do. Today was my cousin's birthday. Me and my grandmother were invited to attend to his party. When we arrived in their house, we saw them preparing for the birthday party. We arrived earlier than I thought. When I enter on his room, I saw him using his new phone, it was a gift from his dad. Aww, how sweet! I wish when my birthday comes, mom will give me a new phone.

DAY 3 MAY 1, 2021

Thank God it's Saturday! I want to rest this weekends. I want to watch movies at night with my grandmother and also my siblings. I want to use my phone all night and play Mobile Legends because for me it was the most addictive game in the world. I look up in the sky and watch the sunset. Sunset is my favorite scenery because it makes me calm and I was so admired by the sun.

I directly went to my room and changed clothes. I go to the kitchen to make Chicken Adobo, that would be our dinner for tonight. After we ate, I surfed the net, watched horror movie, and felt asleep.

DAY 4 MAY 2, 2021

Sunday morning, I woke up early and I made a milk for myself. Milk is not enough so I cooked my own breakfast today. It was bacon, egg, and hotdog with rice of course. I'm so happy it wasn't overcooked. I charged my phone because I forgot to charge it last night.

It's lunch time, I ate Adobo that I made last night. I go back to my table where I usually study and focus on myself. It's so hot in the afternoon and my eyes are itchy. I don't have any glasses to protect my eyes from the radiation coming from my device. Layer that time, I felt dizzy and weak so I talked to my grandmother and she gave me some medicines, I should take this because I want to feel better as soon as possible. Then I rest and felt asleep.

DAY 5 MAY 3, 2021

I hate Mondays but I woke up early because of the noise coming from outside. I can still feel the dizziness so I take medicines to cure this. Then I lay down in my bed and take a rest. I felt asleep again and woke up in the afternoon, I skipped lunch because I don't want to eat. Feeling well, I go outside and ventilated myself with the fresh wind. I saw my friend walking by and I smile with a wink to her. She smiled back but doesn't wink back.

I checked my temperature and it goes back to normal. I pray to God and thanked Him because He did not forsake me even I'm a sinner. We should pray and have faith on Him, He is great, He loved us all.

Our subject teachers gave us activities and I answered it already because I have time for it and I don't want to fail, my mom would beat me if I fail. I am ready to pass it, but maybe tomorrow I should go to school or I will send it to my aunt and she will be the one who will pass it in the Drop-Pick Area in our school.

DAY 6 MAY 4, 2021

I woke up early to do my laundry because I don't have any clothes to wear. After doing the laundry, I rest for some 30 minutes, then I did my homeworks and some activities. I also workout for like 30 minutes. My grandmother cooked my favorite dish called chop suey for our lunch. I love it since I was a kid, this is my favorite dish.

I go outside and trim some of the bushes. Suddenly, a beggar came to our house, wearing a surgical mask and she asked me if she can obtain some of our papaya fruit. She also said that she was so hungry and she badly want to eat that papaya fruit. She also told me that she's 4 months pregnant. I think she is craving to the fruit. I gave her the perfectly ripe papaya fruit so that she can enjoy it. She was so thankful to me. And i said "Anytime, you're welcome!"

Being generous also makes us feel better about ourselves. We have to focus on what we are giving not on what we are receiving. We have to be selfless.

DAY 7 MAY 5, 2021

Today is Wednesday. Finally, we have our internet connection and was faster than the recent wifi we used. We can watch youtube without lagging, play online games, and lastly surf the net faster than ever before. This day I read books to enhance my reading skills. I also practiced to sing. My voice actually improved when I was a part of Musical Play in Grade 10.

When I was bored in our house, I usually go to Pili to buy groceries and my needs when I have money. I always buy my favorite Choco-Strawberry Milktea. I usually spend my money to buy foods because it helps me to cope and reduce stress. When I have free time, I play online games like COD, ML, Valorant and many more. It helps me to think critically on how to kill enemies, know the strategies, and many more.

DAY 8 MAY 6, 2021

Today is my favorite cousin's birthday. I'm so excited! Her name is Zchan and she is my beloved cousin and also my bestfriend. Since nursery, she's within me. We play our favorite outdoor games, we watch our favorite cartoons together, we do our schoolworks together, even if it there's an Honor List, we ranked 1st together. We are blessed with intelligence but I am more talented thank her. We always brainstorm together when we have a problem to be solved and the funny thing is that we usually had the same idea. I really love her so much. I prepared her a gift, it was a Gucci sweatshirt. My mom bought it for me so I can give her the gift that I know she wants.

I prepared myself, I went to their house, it's already 3:00 and thankfully I am not late. i helped her sister for preparing the party. It's only a small party because of the pandemic and also she didn't wish to have a big party celebration. Later that afternoon, we ate the foods in the table, and after that I also helped wash the dishes.

When I arrived home, I saw my grandma watching news. I proceed to my room, changed my clothes and fell asleep.

DAY 9 MAY 7, 2021

The Finals Examination for Second Semester is near and honestly I am not ready. I should review my lessons this week but I have so many responsibilities to do. We will have the general cleaning in our entire house tomorrow. My grandmother told me that I should prepare and be ready for tomorrow and finish my school activities. I also have to be the cashier in our store and take care of it.

Before our general cleaning, I already clean and organized my room so that tomorrow I will focus only on the other part of the house. Honestly my room is always clean hehe. I don't want other people sneak into my room without any permission from me. I don't want any dust in my room especially in my bed. My grandmother always tell me that she even asked me "Why am I so clean?" I answered her that since I was a kid, I usually get the "Most Neat and Clean Award". And also I told her that Good hygiene lowers your risk for diseases and illnesses commonly spread through viruses and bacteria. Washing yourself and staying clean can kill and remove illness-causing bacteria from your body, lowering the risk for disease. Good hygiene is key to preventing infection when wounds and skin irritation are present.

DAY 10 MAY 8, 2021

It was Saturday, I woke up late and I drink milk and ate some bread to have energy when cleaning the house. I go to the bathroom and take a shower, my grandmother said that I should take shower before doing a household chores.

I started at the front of our house, I sweep those fallen leaves and piled up in a designated area where we burn those leaves. Next that I did was Grass cutting. I used the pruning shears to cut those unwanted grass in our yard. The next that I did is to water my plants. Grandma loves her plants as much as me. I sprinkled some water to the plants to make them alive and healthy. The next thing that I do is to clean the window, I wiped them using squeegee and a cloth to make them dry fast. The last thing that I did is mop inside the house. Then after that I take some rest and eat those snacks that my grandmother prepared for me. Then it was dark and I fell asleep.

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earlgreytea68 · 6 years

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Maybe it's bc I'm from a country whose gov wiretapped innocent people they saw as their enemies but I can't believe people PAY MONEY to get spied on so they what? Don't have to press a button?! I'm not angry or anything just absolutely baffled at how many people ACTIVELY choose this dystopian nightmare shit. Things are bad enough already so I just wonder how both those things (anger about fb&owning alexa) fit together. Not attacking you, just genuinely wondering about the thought process (1/2)

Valid question! Here’s my thought process:

First, the Facebook thing is actually less about the collection and sale of my data than...a really, really long tortured relationship with Facebook that needs to end now. Not that I agree with the collection and sale of my data! Because I don’t! But you should know my long history, because I think it explains my thought process.

I registered for Facebook early, when you still had to have an edu email address. I thought I had it locked down, private, friends-only. Then, a few years later, my boss walks into my office and closes my door and gives me a talking-to about “inappropriate Facebook posts.” To be clear, I was never a person, like, posting topless photos on Facebook or something, nor was I complaining about my boss really. It was more like, “Ugh, I have to work all weekend, sorry I can’t go to this party!” And she was like, “THAT IS PRIVILEGED INFORMATION THAT YOU WORKED ALL WEEKEND.” And I was like, ...how are you even seeing my Facebook, you’re not my friend? So (a) I was spooked, because when your boss yells at you because of Facebook, it’s terrifying, and (b) I was completely bewildered that she could even see my Facebook. Upon investigation, it turned out that at the time (and this was a decade ago), if you put down where you work, EVERYONE who also put that place down could see your Facebook, even if they weren’t your friend and your Facebook was friends-only. (I think Facebook has changed that policy now.)

So, terrified, I deleted my Facebook. But this was back when not having a Facebook caused this whole public outcry thing and my friends freaked out and so I gave in and re-started a Facebook, posting very little because I was terrified. But I still used it. Until I got depressed and started therapy. My therapist told me to keep a stress journal, where I wrote down whenever I felt a spike of stress, and going on Facebook consistently showed up in the journal as a source of stress. So, upon my therapist’s suggestion, I stopped going on Facebook. I still kept it instead of deleting it because I didn’t want people to freak out the way they did the first time, but I stopped using it.

Fast-forward many years, and in January of this year, I tried to open a Facebook for the psuedonym I use for novels. Facebook immediately flagged me as suspicious and asked me to prove I was me by uploading a photo. And I was kind of like, ....Why do you need my photo? What’s that going to prove? All I can assume is that, of course, they have a database of what we all look like. How they know I’m not just grabbing a random photo of the person I’m trying to impersonate off the internet is another question entirely. But I was like, Fine, whatever, I don’t feel like fighting with you, Facebook, so I gave up on having a pseudonym page.

And then I started thinking: Why did I still have a Facebook? I never go on Facebook. All the stuff had happened with the election, so it wasn’t like people would freak out anymore if I deleted it, they’d totally get it. And I kind of no longer wanted to give Facebook bragging rights about how many users it has by counting me when I don’t actually use it. And Zuckerberg’s attitude seemed to be that if you didn’t like Facebook, you shouldn’t use Facebook. I COMPLETELY disagree with this sentiment on his part because I think it completely ignores how many people can’t opt out of Facebook at this point, but luckily, I can opt out of Facebook.

...Or so I thought.

Except that I requested deletion of my Facebook, and they confirmed deletion and said I was scheduled for deletion within two weeks, and then...just never deleted my Facebook. Which I only know because they keep sending me emails about me being tagged and people sending me messages (even though I also keep requesting to be unsubscribed from those emails). (And also my friends still on Facebook confirm for me that I’m still on there.) I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to get in touch with Facebook but...you can’t. It’s impossible. Try not being on Facebook and finding ANY contact information for Facebook other than a paper mailing address. If you find the contact info, please let me know!!! They have zero available email addresses, they don’t respond to their Twitter, and the phone number that circulates online is a dangerous scam stealing your social security numbers (which Facebook knows and warns you about but still doesn’t provide you with any way to contact them).

So my anger with Facebook isn’t just about gathering and selling my data, it’s the culmination of years of mistrust and knowing it’s not healthy for me in general and then BEING DENIED MY RIGHT TO DELETE IT AND BEING RENDERED COMPLETELY POWERLESS. Like, the longer this has gone on, and the longer I have realized that there is literally nothing I can do to get Facebook to delete my account, the angrier and angrier I have gotten.

So. That’s Facebook. As for the Alexa, well. You’re right. It sits in my house and is probably recording everything that happens in the house. Which is...basically nothing. I’m only home a few waking hours a day because I work full-time. I travel most weekends, so I’m not there on the weekends. I live alone, so I don’t talk much in my house. I have people over maybe two or three times a year, and then I can unplug the Alexa and stick it out in the garage and I feel relatively okay about that???? I might be kidding myself there, but, if worse comes to worst, I can throw the Alexa out entirely, and I think I’m okay. So I feel mostly in control of Alexa and its eavesdropping on me.

I worry more about the fact that I’m supporting Amazon in the first place, since I disagree with most of Amazon’s policies. I feel really guilty about that and do want to extract myself from the Amazon dependency I developed. My only shopping option in my town was Wal-Mart, and at the time when I moved there a few years ago I thought it was better to support Amazon than Wal-Mart. Now I’m not so sure about that (although I guess the lesson I’ve been learning is that there is no company I really want to give my money to).

I also worry more about the fact that I have a smartphone than an Alexa. I was very, very late to adopt a smartphone--years and years after everyone else had them--because I was very wary of them. I’m used to them now, but I don’t like how much information the smartphone has on me. I’ve given up a little bit, because I just...did. But the information the Alexa has is tiny compared to how much my phone has. And we all know that we have our suspicions that the phones are listening to us the whole time. And I *do* talk on the phone. I don’t talk much in my house, but my phone is the device I use to talk on (I talk a lot while walking around the neighborhood, waiting between classes at work, etc.). So the phone is getting every conversation I have, not the Alexa.

All that said: I don’t know that I can completely disconnect now. I shouldn’t have a smartphone, or a Twitter, or a Tumblr, but I decided that at a certain point what I’m really going to strive to do is be conscious about this technology and work to shape it in better ways. Is this naive and idealistic of me? Yes. Undoubtedly. I have nothing I can say to defend myself on that point. I absolutely should just unplug...but that’s difficult to do, and I do feel like (as the EU is trying here) there are ways to make this technology less dangerous.

Anyway. That’s my thought process. I think we all make the decisions we feel fit what we’ve considered. I don’t care much for Facebook, so it’s easy for me to disconnect (well, it would be if Facebook would let me, which is part of my major Facebook problem). I find Alexa useful and because I don’t do much around it and it’s connected to less stuff than my cell phone to begin with, it doesn’t bother me as much, and I feel like I can change my mind and get rid of it fairly easily. Of course, I could be wrong about that. I always thought I could delete my Facebook at any time, too.

Everyone might get done reading this and think, Wow, EGT is an absurd human being who makes zero sense. That is a completely true statement.

#long post #Anonymous

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