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#I'm vibing with the Show!greens
dirtytransmasc · 9 months
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In the book aemond is a psychopath, aegon a rapist, alicent a cunt. Haelena is the only normal child, in the show is the same. How can someone be team green? You said the are more 'complex' but no, they are just more problematic
the show is different then the books, by a fucking mile. the situation and circumstances for almost everything surrounding the greens is drastically different. when I talk about them, due to not having fully read the book (cause it's long and I can't get my ADHD to grab onto it like the show), I'm talking about the show. in the show they are significantly more fleshed out and complex, they earned far more of my pity than Rhaenyra and her kids did in the show, and I just liked them more.
in the books, they are bad people, but so is everyone else, especially Rhaenyra and Daemon. the sword has two edges. honestly, from what I managed to read/know about the book, everyone in that damn thing seems like they suck (outside of Helaena), but thats fine, that's great actually. a full morally grey to not so grey set of characters is interesting. they're all problematic, it's a game of pick your favorite sicko(s).
also the "Aegon's a rapist" horse has been beaten to dust. the only potential proof that he is one is from a very black favoring unreliable narrator who slanders the greens almost every chance he gets... so while I, and nobody, can say that it's 100% false, similarly, no one can say that it's 100% true either. (the vibe I picked up is that he may be a bit handsy without consent and a whore who frequents whorehouses as a customer, but not a rapist. doesn't make it right, but those two things are very different. I also think people tend to forget that the concept and age of consent in medieval times was VERY different. again, doesn't make it right. but there were things that were just... ok... then, that are far from ok now. all of this greatly effects aegons situation and the nuance around it).
Aemond was and still sorta (in the show) is a psycho. I won't deny that, but he has so many layers in the show, so many why's and hows to him and his growing instability, that IS fascinating and complex and I love to dig around in his characterization and psychology and I know I'm not the only one.
from the sounds of it, Alicent is like any other greedy noble ever, she's just a woman and a mother as well, so she's a bitch and she's protecting her kids which people don't like. Rhaenyra's also a bitch and she's protecting her kids. they all hate each other, they all want each other's heads on spikes. it's war between two sides of terrible people told through the lenses of unreliable narrators, no side is better than the other, "just pick your favorite asshole" seems to be the rule of thumb at that point cause who knows what the hell actually happened. (take this with a grain of salt, cause from where I stand, all I say is hearsay)
just let team green fans live their lives and remember that not everyone gives a shit about the book.
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phoenixyfriend · 11 months
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Me: I'm color-coding it! [Explains system]
My sister: [chokes on a laugh]
Me: What?
My sister: Nothing, I was gonna say something but it's really mean.
Me: What is it? Like the suspected autism, or--?
My sister: No it's just, dude you're color-coding a cookbook. Get a job.
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kagooleo · 3 months
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doodlin some joh’s
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random-dragon-exe · 1 year
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Ah yes, the pose that screams "I’m a prick, I know it, and I have style when I'm a prick to you”.
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forestofsprites · 8 months
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being a little avid nature lover and running a blog half dedicated to The Whole Thing versus my absolutely awful phobia of flowers
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minuutti · 1 year
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mercysimming · 20 days
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this part ended up being split into two posts, so expect a second story post today!
prev / next.
Transcript:
[ Weather infographic: Friday, June 16. Copperdale. 62 degree F. Rainy. ]
[ Text, from Julien: hey are you free to talk? i've got to tell you some news i just got ]
[ Text, from Javier: yeah i'm just chilling rn ]
Javier: Hey, babe. What's up?
Julien, on the phone: You're not going to believe this.
Javier: Good thing or bad thing?
Julien: GREAT thing.
Javier: What is it?
Julien: My aunts are flying me and my siblings out to Mt. Komorebi for the whole summer.
Javier: Oh shit! That's awesome. Have you ever been?
Julien: Nope. First time, but it gets better.
Javier: [laughs] How can it get better?
[ Info: Julien Banks. he/him. eldest child of Candy & Mikhail. captain of the football team. top of his class. (under immense pressure.) "rebels" by sneaking out to see his boyfriend & by smoking a cigarette once. all about fitness & sports. head over heels for Javier. hasn't told him he loves him yet. ]
Julien: As the oldest, I get plus-one privileges.
[ A pause. ]
Julien: I'm inviting you, Javi.
[ There's complete silence on the other end. ]
Julien: Uh, Javi?
Javier: Are you being fucking for real?
Julien: [laughing] Yeah. Come with me.
Javier: Like, actually?
Julien: Yes!
[ Info: Javier Parson. he/him. wannabe DJ & gaming streamer. not remotely a part of Julien's common social groups. actually gets along with Avery despite the Sibling Issues. horror aficionado. also head over heels for Julien. his loved ones' biggest cheerleader. ]
Javier: Holy shit, this is going to be awesome!
Julien: Only if you can convince your parents.
Javier: Dude, trust me, I'll figure it out.
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wavernot4love · 3 months
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hello i see ag 2morrow for the second show of boom done tour i am so excited
i haven't been to a show since thursday @ the end of january in typical northeast "no one, quite understandably, tours here in the winter" fashion & i very much need this i am so very much looking forward 2 it also this is gonna be a GREAT month 4 shows
#i may be manifesting this somehow reaches someone somewhere also going#also tonight is about to be spent absolutely cramming boom done etc#as despite the fact that i technically got introduced to homie's music via a boom done set#at that fest i was working in summer '22#i still am not really acquainted with it#i am primarily going for good vibes and to support#but that's just as of now#i can Entirely see myself coming to love these songs just like the rest of that dude's projects#anyways i am soloing and while of course i have no problem doing this for shows in general#i am a bit nervous since i'm used 2 just blending in with a crowd due to moshing everybody being packed in etc#whereas here that obviously won't be a thing and everyone will kinda just be standing there noddin along#but it is okay i always seem to find cool folks to talk to at ag related shows#and even if i don't i know i'll have a great time#also i really hope the epic wavernot4love x anthony crossover can finally happen#genuinely i have so much 2 say this dude's music has had such a positive impact on my life this past year n a half#and i wanna chat about that a little bit#anyways off i go 2 jam some ag tunes i am so excited also mohawk place is a gr8 venue i can't wait to be back there#also ah i'm gonna see if i can find anything setlist wise from the first show 2nite in pa since i kinda like to know what 2 expect#anthony green#ls dunes#boom done#wavernot4love gets 2 the gig#wavernot4lovetalksmusic#wavernot4love talks ag tunes#yippee
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hellgivenmoved · 9 months
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added a color correction psd under my original and . . . yeah , a bit better. cause messing with color balance , etc only just wasn't working .
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snallavanta · 1 year
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can someone recommend me chill, relaxed shows that i can watch before bed and put me to sleep
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A cosmic lightning bolt.
Yeah, if your ears operate she can give anyone a headache.
#emotional manipulation? probably#it runs in the family.....especially with the women#lady is like cayla might bypass her and come ask you...#I am like when she asks her all she does is tell her to ask me#but I kept that part to myself#E so 5 is you're counting a set where I am the vesica Pisces#look.....I overwhelmed the fuck out of you in class....like....period....but you weren't exactly discouraging me#you know me I just show up and ripple#was there a different vibe in the blue dot club that one night#in. that regard i is 6 (like •| see I can fucking twist that shit too babygirl)#H on 45 is an I go figure#🤔 you did run your dick sucker about 45 a lot#I don't even know how to describe your H.I.D. you use on the iot#she walks in deaf and dry(well....you were probably excited going in) and walks out hearing and soaked#I mean your reproductive hormones I think spark around me....hmmmm#even if you're high or eapecially if you're high#uppers vs Chuck Norris#and third eye overwhelemed good good....now hit her Crown#happy girthday#you silly girl happy was an old name#boing boing boing#yes you do make it happy#your organ talks are great but I'm highly audio and visual#does it make pretty fish tail for me to admire#then it's all good#yeah I want to play with all of you by the way#wood that has been dead for years looks exactly as alive in flow as a green tree#to a certain degree#it's more complex than I can abstract into words#I need to use I can't abstract it into words for you but...(fill in abstraction into words)
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deathdoesntkillyou · 8 months
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dragbunart · 1 year
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Update on the Twitch tihng
A few months back I said I might start drawing on Twitch to draw some of my Danganronpa Aus... But I wanted something for you'll to look at while I drew to see my expressions, but I'm a bit self-conscious about my appearance since I am prone to acne...
Then I discovered V-tubers were a thing? I realized I could draw a V-tuber model to be my avatar.
So I'm working on a V-tuber model alongside my other art. So expect to see stuff for the Twitch channel to be posted here on my Tumblr, and if you want to see me draw live, you'll just have to wait for my V-tuber debut, as I'll be doing an Art and maybe gaming stream for the Debute.
If you're curious about how my Avatar will look... I have an early version.. and by Early, I mean I drew this version, realized it wasn't large enough, and then as I worked on the larger version, I deiced to add a few more details and change their outfit a bit.
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Surprise (to no one), It's a humanoid Dragbun! Eventually, I'll have their dragbun form as a simpler model.
Honestly... They could be rigged up and just be a low-resolution Avatar. I do have SOME lore for them Like they have a name (it's not just Jade, Jade is a separate Dragbun, but they were largely inspired by the first Dragbun).
I just wanted to show off one of the projects I've had in the works for ya'll.
especially since this isn't the final version! But it's largely finished and I spent 2 days on them.
Edit (before this even gets posted): I may do faceless streams because it looks like I'll have to pay for rigging, and i need to save up money but I want to stream anyways....
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hoodiedmenace · 7 months
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One day I'm gonna kiss the character designers for rise of the tmnt.
Yeah shape theory and all that, it's super neat but IT GOES SO MUCH DEEPER.
Since the beginning of tmnt, the turtles have always been hard to distinguish from each other. Especially in the 1987 show, but all the way up to 2007 movie, the one thing the turtles have really had to distinguish themselves is their color of their masks, their weapons, and usually some minor design changes like the letter on their belts, height, and skin tone. But even those have been subtle.
The 2012 series is really the first tmnt iteration to change up the turtles in a significant way. Not only is their skin different shades of green, but their heights are a more significant difference. Donnie towers of the other turtles, and Mikey's height really solidifies him as the youngest brother.
That isn't where the differences end, though. Raph has a crack in his plastron, Mikey has freckles, and Donnie is much lankier and skinny than the others. The main problem with this though, is that they are still fairly subtle. From behind and without their masks on, it's impossible to tell whether its Mikey, Leo, or Raph on screen. Not to mention, Leo is sort of treated as a 'base', and the other three turtles are just alterations made to his design.
Rise, on the other hand, said "hold my beer."
Not only do rise turtles have the different heights, skin tones, and masks, they have different body types.
And not only are these differing body types useful in telling the turtles apart, they have genuine meanings. So I'm gonna infect your brains with my brainrot.
Starting with Mikey.
Mikey has always been the silliest of the group, the party dude, if you will. Rise uses shape theory to give this playful, young vibe to him. Not only are his markings circles, but so is his head and shell. His design is very rounded overall.
The other thing about rise, is that all their fighting types are different. Their weapons influence these styles along with their personality. Mikey's style of fighting is very acrobatic, very showy. He is very in touch with his sense of balance and the space around him.
It can't be a coincidence that Mikey's body type is also very similar to an acrobat or gymnastic athlete. His muscles are small but compact, and rounded like the rest of him. His limbs are small, but clearly strong and well maintained. Acrobats often have these types of hidden muscles, where they almost disappear when not in use because of the function of them. They aren't using the muscles for heavy lifting or grueling tasks. Acrobats use their muscles for balance and manipulating their own body.
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Next is Leo. Unlike 2012 where Leo is used as a baseline for the other character designs, he most definitely has his own unique look. Overall, he's very sharp. His crescent moon markings on his face and limbs, his swords, and his overall stylized body shape leans into this pointed, sharp look.
Leo attacks quick in the series. He is often one of the first to strike, and thinks well ahead in battle to preserve his energy. His battle moves tend to also continue throughout the fight with a large blow in the beginning and end, with smaller strikes in between.
Leo is also the leanest of the turtles, with a small waist and the lithest of the turtles' limbs. All of this points his character design towards a long distance runner. They often start and end races with bursts of energy, and then pace themselves throughout the rest of the race. They have to think and consider their speed. Long distance runners also have very lean muscles. It has to do with the actual proteins in the muscle that make them thinner but perfect for pacing and persevering throughout long lengths of time.
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Similar to Leo is Donnie. The disaster twins, as the fandom has named them for being the same age, are the most physically similar. They are nearly the same height and, when Donnie had his battle shell on, their shells are very similar in shape. However, they are still very different. Donnie has a rectangular build with his purple pixel-like markings and big ass forehead. Him and Raph also are the only turtles in rise with full head coverings, and they are also both square shaped.
Donnie tends to put all of his energy into one, well timed blow. Usually using his tech to discombobulate the enemy and then backing off quickly. (The only time this doesn't hold true is when he's fighting with April, where it's only the two of them. However, he still does tend to attack and then back away.) His muscles are the second most defined of the turtles, being thick and bigger than both Leo and Mikey.
For this reason, Donnie I believe is built off of a sprinter. A short distance runner. The perfect match to Leo (the twins ever bro)
Sprinters have to save up all of their energy in order to use it all in one short length of time, often just a few seconds. Exactly how Donnie attacks. Sprinters also have much larger, more defined muscles than long distance runners. I think it has something to do with storing energy and oxygen to be used all at once.
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Finally, there's Raph. Raph is big and bulky in the show, with the biggest muscles and is *physically the strongest. He lifts giant boulders and can carry all three of his brothers, April, and Splinter with ease. His shape is a square, with his head and chest being large and boxy. His fighting style is the least ninja-y out of the four, being more related to actually just throwing hands with someone. He fights physically and often times without his weapons, preferring to attack with his body. He gets in the enemy's space and uses his larger size to overpower them. His ability to make himself bigger with his mystic powers furthers this idea. He attacks hard and doesn't let up, not allowing his weaknesses to be exploited by keeping the enemy from never getting a hit in.
I believe Raph is based off of a wrestler or boxer. They fight physically and roughly, preferring to never allow their opponent get a hit in if it allows. Their act of defense is also similar, as boxers generally use their weapon as defense instead of offense. (Raph does this in the train battle and the shredder fight pre-karai death.) Even some of Raph's moves are essentially boxing moves. It also makes sense why, in the show, Raph loves wrestling so much. It may not be boxing, but it's a very similar sport.
Boxers also have large, bulky figures similar to Raph. Their entire body is muscular as opposed to just their legs or arms because of how physical their sport is.
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*Mikey throws a lot of super heavy stuff like the top of a sky scraper, a loaded cargo ship, and a semi-truck, but he does it with the help of his mystic weapon.
Hahaha I'm so. Normal.
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bweirdart · 4 months
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#mARTch 2024
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text version (with more info!) under the readmore! please check it out if you're confused about anything <3
F.A.Q
do i have to draw every day? no!!!! there are skippable days built into the event, please use them whenever you need them! i really don't want anyone getting a wrist injury!
can you share my art? yep! i try to share entries to @bweirdevents daily during the event!! the tags can get busy tho so i might miss some posts OTL sorry
what are the tags? #mARTch is the main tag, but this year you might find posts in #mARTch2024 too!
wait, i'm confused about a prompt... full breakdown of all the prompts below ↓ with helpful hints if you're stuck!
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INTRO WEEK
this week is all about your artistic identity ... technically, you don't have to draw anything new this week if you have some art that already fits. the starter days are:
1 ⭐ self portrait who are you? it doesn't have to be you IRL .. if you feel more comfortable drawing a fursona or mascot, that's fine too! if you don't wanna draw, you can also just share old self portraits today and talk about why you drew yourself that way!
2 🤍 inspirations see how this day doesn't have a star? that means it's optional and you don't have to do it at all! but if you really wanna- tell us all about what inspires you to create art! this could be anything from the people that inspire you, the shows you like, the pins on your big messy pinterest board, or concepts that you're drawn to! you can draw something about it, talk about it, or just post your inspirations! anything is fine
3 ⭐ fav thing to draw what do you like drawing most? backgrounds? animals? one specific animal? bust of your oc facing left? cars? the same anime boy over and over and over? no judgement!! show us :)
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STUDY WEEK
this is the week we actually start drawing from reference! polished art is not required at all, quick sketch studies are fine! please don't burn yourself out
4 🤍 plant
5 🤍 body
6 ⭐ animal
7 🤍 object
8 🤍 food
9 🤍 face
10 ⭐ hand
these ones are pretty self explanatory! you can do them as realistic studies, or adapt them into your own art style, it's all fine! you can reference from your own photos or from resources on the web.. have fun!
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COLOUR WEEK
this is the week for playing with palettes and working on your colour theory skills! if you're really struggling with these ones, don't worry about drawing scenes or characters, you can just have fun splashing colours around on an abstract canvas!
11 🤍 RGB a set or primary colours typically used in digital/screen art - red, green and blue!
12 🤍 CMYK a set of primary colours typically used in traditional/print art - cyan, magenta, yellow ... and key (black!)
for both of these days ↑ you can add in black and white. and feel free to combine the two days into one, if you're struggling with a three-colour palette! use all six!
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13 ⭐ WARM COLOURS the warm side of the colour wheel, reds oranges and yellows!
14 🤍 MONOCHROME monochrome doesn't mean black and white ... it means one colour! that can be any colour at all- shades of red, shades of purple, shades of green .. or yeah, grey if you really want!
15 🤍 COMPLIMENTARY complimentary colours are the ones opposite each other on the colour wheel! they're kinda married
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16 🤍 YOUR FAV COLOURS pick any palette that works for you! where's your comfort zone? what looks nice to you? what colour combos do you always go back to?
17 ⭐ COOL COLOURS the cool side of the colour wheel, purples, blues and greens!
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CREATIVITY WEEK
this week is all about vibes! try to create something that matches the mood of the prompt .. they're vague on purpose! don't overthink it, just draw from the heart!
18 🤍 SMALL you could draw something that's really small, like an ant .. or draw on a canvas that's really small .. or use a really small brush .. get creative with it!
19 🤍 DANGER try to capture the adrenaline .. the rush .. the fear that you associate with the word danger!
20 ⭐ SOFT soft colours, soft textures, soft vibes ... whatever makes you comfy!
21 🤍 MIDNIGHT darkness and secrecy .. spooky witchy vibes .. the tranquility of a forest at night .. the fun of a late-night party .. there's lots of ways you can take this!
22 🤍 POWER what does this word make you think about? superpowers? control and oppression? literal electrical power? something else?
23 🤍 CHILL chill as in calm? or chill as in cold? who knows .. it's up to YOU!
24 ⭐ LOUD try to draw something that feels LOUD! BRASH! IN YOUR FACE! how can you convey sound through art?
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FUN + GAMES WEEK
this week is just for enjoying yourself! take it easy and have fun! also .. another reminder! there are skippable prompts! if you're tired and struggling to get to the finish line, please don't hesitate to skip a day!!! or multiple days!! as many as you need!!!
25 🤍 TRY A NEW ART STYLE copy the art style of a show you like, ask a friend if you can try their style, draw the eyes a new way, develop a totally new style on the spot... whatever you want!
26 🤍 DRAW WITH YOUR NON-DOMINANT HAND righties, draw with your left! lefties, draw with your right! ambidextrous nation ... our time to show off!
27 ⭐ DRAW WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED don't peek! try to draw something without looking! if you really want, you can colour it with your eyes open after you draw the lines/sketch with your eyes closed... but please try not to cheat with the actual drawing part!
28 🤍 RE-DRAW SOMETHING OLD find some old artwork you like, or something you feel like you can do better on now, and give it another go!
29 🤍 RE-DRAW A MEME find a silly picture on the internet to redraw .. do you have any in-jokes with your besties?
30 🤍 DRAW A GIFT FOR A FRIEND create something for someone you love <3
31 ⭐ FREE CHOICE final day! you can draw anything you want today! show off your skills! draw something you've been meaning to draw! whatever!
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please refrain from reblogging this post after march ends - next year's prompts will be different, thank you! if you have any additional questions, don't hesitate to shoot me an ask!
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astralis-ortus · 12 days
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you're always enough
✱ boyfriend!bc x fem!reader
— losing you was not an option.
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w.count → 2.3k genre → angst, fluff, a dash of comedy warning → mild cussing, mention of infidelity, insecure chan :( a.n → based on this request! it honestly was a challenge for me hahahㅠ i think it's been a while since i wrote something with this quick of a vibe change in a while but i'm glad i got to try again! ⋆ see masterlist
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the clock at the bottom right part of his monitor shows its lingering around the 1pm mark—a mere 2 hours since he had stepped foot inside the building—and yet, he’s already stressed.
one block and straight to another, work hasn’t been looking good for him so far. he’s so ready to call for another break—but the soft knocks to the melody of twinkle twinkle little stars on chan’s studio door could only mean one thing.
“well hello there, miss producer,” chan’s frown turned into a smile in the split second you peeked your head between the crack of the door, eyes turning into a pair of beautiful crescents you oh-so adore. you couldn’t even stop yourself from smiling—chan just looked so adorable with his messy natural curls decorating his forehead, beanie discarded somewhere on his leather couch. “come on in. i missed you.”
4 years ago, you were graced with the opportunity to participate in a song camp with the 3racha—one of, if not the, biggest producers in your company. it was a great experience—you got to learn a lot of new things, and somehow, your luck seemed to prolong as you kept in touch with the boys; occasionally called in for inputs while some other time just to hangout while grabbing a bite when the three realized the unidentified voice bleed turns out to originate from your producing room.
“oh really?” your smile easily mirrored his as you stepped inside the cold room, not forgetting to close the door behind you, “you missed me?”
taking his extended hand, the wide grin painted on your face soon met the end of its reign as your boyfriend pulls you into his lap—tiny yelp involuntarily left your lips while chan had his arms wrapped around you in a tight hug. you couldn’t even continue with the witty remarks on the tip of your tongue when his complimentary dozen of butterfly kisses fell across the span of your face; all replaced with the series of giggles and ‘oh my god—stop!’s as you attempted to free yourself from his trap.
you thought your little crush on the oldest of the three was going to remain as a silly little crush—but as life turns out, it has somehow been around 2 years since chan asked you to be his girlfriend, and a little over a year since you two gradually came clean to your closest friends and coworkers; though the thought only came after repeatedly being caught secretly meeting up or sneakily holding hands during your increasingly overlapping recording sessions.
“you little monster!” a high pitched squeal slipped past your upturned lips when you finally caught his rosy cheeks between your hands, keeping him still as you brought your lips onto his for a few quick pecks—which seemed to work, seeing how chan’s antics now reduced to a simple giggle as he held you close.  “you really missed me that much?” you hummed, gently running your thumbs on his freckled cheeks.
“of course i do,” chan pursed his lips in protest, warm hand gently running down your side, “it’s not every day i couldn’t see my girlfriend both at home and at work. 24 hours a day alone wasn’t enough, and now it’s reduced? of course i’m bound to miss you!”
swarms of butterflies fill the hollow of your chest while you let laughter echoes through the familiar green walls, feeling both warm and ticklish from chan’s cheesy line. “gosh,” your wide set grin now completed with a tinge of rose-colored flush on your cheeks, “you’re so head over heels for me, aren’t you?”
chan’s reverberating low hum became his reply, nodding his head confidently. “of course i am,” he smiled, eyes twinkling as the pair of deep brown eyes peered right into yours. “aren’t you?”
“well,” you grinned, arms wrapped around your boyfriend’s neck, “maybe if—”
your train of thought was forced to a halt when you felt a buzz in your pocket, quickly hopping off chan’s lap after a quick glance at the name. a short apology was muttered before you finally took the call outside the studio, leaving chan feeling a little dumbfounded and… hurt.
chan knew it’s probably work—despite the promised time off since the artist you’re working with is on their vacation, as someone who works behind the scenes, you’re never actually off duty. there’s bound to be urgent matters you need to deal with, and chan understood that.
he's just… confused.
and his confusion certainly multiplies in size when he heard another voice laughing with yours, right outside of his studio.
“no! geez, didn’t i—oh!” your attention instantly shifted when you heard the studio door crack open, eyes catching your puzzled boyfriends’ as he looked at you and the figure across. “channie, this is kyungho sunbae. he’s a new addition to the team but i met him in college. kyungho sunbae, this is—”
“bang chan-ssi, of course,” kyungho cheerily greeted chan, extending a friendly hand. “i’ve heard a lot of good things about you!”
“oh,” the confusion on chan’s face turned into a tight smile—which equally reflected on his grip on the stranger’s hand. even through a quick scan of his eyes, chan notices a lot. “couldn’t really say the same, but welcome. i hope you’re adjusting well so far,” chan continued, returning his hand to the small of your back.
“i am, thank you! i—”
“i’m sorry i can’t really talk much right now, i have my things to return to,” chan was quick to cut kyungho off, surprising both you and the latter. “it was nice meeting you, though,” chan quickly bowed before disappearing behind the metal door, leaving you slightly bothered.
“well, i gotta get going too,” kyungho finally broke the awkwardness between you. “i’ll text you later about the details?” he smiled despite the peeking confusion behind his eyes, to which you nodded before sending him off.
it was unlike chan to behave like that. sure, he might grow a little rough with his actions when work hasn’t been going the way he wanted things to be, but he was doing just fine. he was all lovey dovey with you less than 5 minutes prior, wasn’t he?
“baby,” cracking the door open, you were met with a stern-faced chan—eyes locked to his monitors with a muffled bass resonating from the headphone over his ears. the sight led you to a defeated sigh; you knew better than anyone to not bother the lion when he’s in this state.
but little did you know,
when you decided to back away and close the door, chan felt as if his worst nightmare had come true.
he knows it’s stupid to think that you’d ever cheat on him, but there’s also no guarantee that you would never fall for someone else and realize that maybe your happiness wasn’t with him. it terrifies chan to realize that maybe one day, you’d meet someone and realize that there’s someone better than him—someone better looking, someone who could treat you better, someone who could give you everything that you could ever wished for.
chan is scared that he’s not enough, and never will be.
for someone who’s been in his seat for so long, chan understands that at times his life does feel rather fleeting—like he’s simply going through the motions as he tries to stay afloat. everything—everyone—goes by so fast, and along the way, chan somehow learned how to shut down his feelings just so he could survive. he knew—he hoped, that as life gets better, he’ll come to find the opportunity to learn how to feel again.
but then, again, not everything he knows he needed to do proves to be easy.
it took him a while, but when he finally reached a point where he felt like life’s doing better for him, chan finally realizes that he now has love within him to give. he tried sharing them with his bandmates, he tried sharing them with his friends and family—hell, he even tried to share them with every single soul he met, but nothing fills him with the sense of content he was looking for…
until he met you.
chan knew he shouldn’t—you were his coworker, but despite him trying his best not to view you in a special light, he couldn’t help but return his gaze to your bright smile whenever you’re in the room. sure, you’re passionate about what you do, and it sure inspires him—but to see how your shoulders relax whenever you pop open a new book, or how happy you looked browsing through the convenience store aisles while trying to find what kind of new snacks you’ve never seen before,
it feels like he finally found what to be at peace felt like. he finally knew what love should look like—and it’s you.
a soft touch on his shoulder snaps chan out of his trance, eyes wide as it met your worried pair. your gentle smile was the second thing he noticed, and his eyes finally trailed down to the box of pineapple juice and a few snacks along the roll of kimbab perched on his desk.
“i know you’re busy,” your voice finally came clear as soon as chan took off his headphone, “but you need to eat first, okay? it’s almost 2, and i know you didn’t eat much earlier before you left. i’m not gonna bother you again if you eat now—i’ll even head home if you need time to focus, but that’s as long as you eat. okay?”
“…then i’m not eating.”
“baby—”
“i don’t want you to go home,” chan reiterated—and that’s when you finally see the tinge of sadness behind his eyes. “i’m not eating if you’re gonna go.”
“oh baby—what happened?” your voice turned gentle as you took his face in your hands, gently grazing the pads of your thumbs over his skin. “are you okay? do you—”
“i’m sorry.”
“sorry?” you tilted your head, now confused. “for…?”
“just… everything,” chan exhaled, arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled you close and rested his forehead on your stomach. “i know i’m difficult, but please. don’t leave.”
“baby you’re not difficult,” you furrowed your eyebrows, puzzled. what happened in the 30 minutes you were gone? did something terrible happened? all sorts of thoughts were running through your head.
“and i’m not leaving,” your voice were stern, and you felt the way chan slightly tightened his arms around you. “where am i supposed to even go anyway? i’m already home.”
if chan wasn’t tearing up before, then he sure is now.
“even if i’m not perfect?” he quietly muttered—and you’re slowly piecing the puzzles together. “even if i’m not tall enough? even if my hair is always messy? even if i’m not fashionable? even if—"
“stop right there, mr. bahng,” you stopped him, peeling yourself off from chan and gazed right at his flushed face, “why are you being mean to my boyfriend? where does this came from, hm? no one’s allowed to say shit to my boyfriend like that!” your pursed your lips and gently lowered yourself to place a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose, only then smiling when chan let out a soft giggle.
“were you upset about me talking to kyungho sunbae earlier?” you questioned, and despite the lack of reply from your boyfriend, you’re pretty sure you knew what his answer was based on the minuscule shift on his face.
“i’m sorry, baby. i thought our interactions wasn’t important enough, so i never really brought him up to you. had i known you’d feel differently about that, i would’ve told you right away,” you apologized, smiling as you noted the faint glint returning in his eyes. “we did met in college, but he was just a senior i came to shadow a couple times when i started out in the industry.”
“i was really surprised when he turned out to be the new guy in my team,” you continued, fingers gently tracing his features, “but what really shocked me was turns out, i actually know his wife.”
you watched as your boyfriend connected the dots, jaw falling upon realizing the tiny detail he had skipped through despite catching a short glimpse of thin silver band on his finger.
“i met his wife a few times since we were pretty close in high school, and he’s been trying to dig out some information from me since their anniversary is just around the corner and he wanted to surprise her. he was just making sure he got the details right without texting me since his texts are synced to their shared device,” you explained, letting a giggle slip when you caught the blush creeping up your boyfriend’s face.
“…i see.”
the echo of your laugh only grew in volume when your boyfriend began to avoid your eyes, resorting to him burying his face on your stomach. adorable.
“it’s okay, baby. i understand why you’d get jealous,” your lips were set into a wide grin as you held your boyfriend close. “i’m still really sorry, though. i really wasn’t trying to hide this, i promise. i’ll tell you straight away if anything like this ever happened again.”
“okay.”
“so…” reducing your giggles to a smile, you gently run your nails on your boyfriend’s scalp, trying to soothe him, “am i forgiven?”
a muffled whine and a nod after, chan finally gazed up at you and added, “if only you’re eating with me.”
“oh baby,” cradling his face in your hands with a smile, you inched closer and placed a light peck over his pouting lips, “i’ll even stay here and cuddle all day with you.”
only then, chan finally allowed himself to laugh.
“well, then don’t mind if i say yes to that.”
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