#LIKE THE HACKING COUGH IM CURRENTLY DEALING WITH

[lilnasxvevo]

Well, I couldn’t sleep because I took my anxiety medication to help me sleep and immediately started to feel kind of sick from it and then got really panicky because I felt a little sick which made me feel sicker, because when you’re me, that’s how this shit works.

So I’ve been on my phone for 2 hours doing this and that and trying to convince myself that I’m not actually sick.

Finally I looked up the symptoms for hypochondria because I was wondering, and uhhh it matched up a lot more than I thought it was going to.

Like—okay. So I don’t take my anxiety medication, which is actually a beta blocker and primarily used as a heart medication for most people, very often because it makes me drowsy which I usually don’t like, and often when I do take it I take half a tablet. Today was garbage, so I took a full tablet with my antidepressant. Immediately started to feel...off. No symptoms that I can properly explain, just the feeling that something was wrong. Mind you this was probably before the fucking pill even made it to my stomach.

I started feeling like my heart was somehow off, weak, which I realize is probably just a sensation created from the fact that I’ve been coughing my lungs out for a few hours due to binding while getting over a cold (and, I think, due to sitting outside for several hours without taking my allergy meds), and that made me very nervous, because it’s a heart medication, it affects the heart. I looked up what serious side effects the medication could have, and found out that it’s often not prescribed for people with asthma, because it can cause asthma attacks. I have asthma, I was diagnosed when I was 12, but because my dad convinced me I didn’t have it (??? pretty easy to do since even then I didn’t have most things I thought I had, but still, wtf?), so for several years it didn’t come up in any doctor’s appointments at all, until a new doctor I had asked why I didn’t have any medications for asthma in my record despite Having Asthma and I was like “Well I guess I don’t even know if I really have asthma, I mean I basically can’t breathe when I walk up hills in the wintertime but—“ and he was basically like “Gonna stop you right there, that’s asthma.” This is all to say that I do have asthma, mild asthma, but because I don’t bring it up very much I was worried that my psychiatrist didn’t know I had it and possibly wouldn’t have done so if she’d known I had it and now I was going to die. Now that I am writing about this I realize that I’m pretty sure I filled out an intake form for my psychiatrist that had that little section of like “check the box if you have this illness,” and I always check asthma on those because I like being able to check as many boxes as possible, it makes me feel accomplished.

Anyway, I laid down in my bed, because like I said, I was fucking trying to fucking fall asleep. Then my lip twitched, which never happens, and then another muscle twitched (I don’t remember which one, but it was another one that never twitches—the only muscles in my body that ever twitch are around my eyes when I’m stressed and sick). So I was like “Well I don’t know what that could signify but clearly it means I am going to die.” And then I went on buzzfeed for like an hour to distract myself from my impending doom. And then finally I went to the Mayo Clinic website to find out what hypochondria was, and was thoroughly chastised when I read:

“You may experience extreme anxiety that body sensations, such as muscle twitching or fatigue, are associated with a specific, serious illness. This excessive anxiety — rather than the physical symptom itself — results in severe distress that can disrupt your life.”

Like. There it is. Whipping myself up into a tizzy over muscle twitches.

I am fully aware of the...irony...? of self-diagnosing myself with hypochondria. But I feel like it’s worth pursuing because it’s negatively affected my life in a huge way. I was emotionally (though not intellectually) convinced that I had a peanut allergy for actual MONTHS last year, and still avoid peanut products sometimes out of habit and lingering suspicion. If something I ate had peanuts in it and I didn’t realize that until after I had tasted it, I would panic. There’s a story related to that that I don’t really wish to recount that I think convince several people I was frankly the “bad kind of crazy”. (Not that I think there’s a bad kind of crazy, but lots of people do.)

In the past 18 months I have felt dreadfully certain that I had brain cancer just because I was getting frequent unexplained nosebleeds (or at the very least, a tumor near the back of my nose that would surely soon reach my brain!!!), and had to have a doctor reassure me that my ongoing digestive problems (which are similar to IBS, basically, but I still don’t have a FUCKING diagnosis after at least 2 years of seeing doctors for the same old symptoms, and there are several things it could be) absolutely WERE NOT caused by any sort of stomach cancer or other kind of cancer. (She said that if I had cancer I would have visibly lost weight, which sounded suspicious and rude but I accepted it so I could sleep better.)

Going off that last point, I know for a fact that HAVING, undeniably empirically objectively HAVING, an illness that several different doctors have been unable to diagnose, has significantly increased what I call my “medical anxiety” and basically led to a huge uptick in—you know, the frequency and intensity of times I convince myself I have cancer or whatever. Add that to the fact that when I was away at college, there was very little food that I could eat without getting sick because of my illness (AGAIN, THE SYMPTOMS OF MY ILLNESS ARE OBJECTIVELY A THING AND CAN’T BE CONTROLLED BY MY BRAIN), and in my senior year I lived in an incredibly dirty residence hall with an incredibly dirty bathroom that regularly convinced me that I was going to get sick because of the gross stuff these mofos left all over the place (which is what reminded me that I’ve thought for a long time that I might have OCD—contamination phobias can be a big thing for some people with OCD.) So it’s no fucking wonder that I had a mental breakdown over winter break and didn’t want to go back to school.

Where was I going with this post? I don’t know. The point is this: I can’t fucking sleep because I have convinced myself I am dying after taking a medication I have taken many many many times without any perceived ill effects. It’s 4:30 am.

#also tho i am legit coughing a lot #THE PROBLEM WITH ME ALWAYS BEING CONVINCED THAT I AM SICK #IS THAT I GET SICK A LOT #SO 50% OF THE TIME WHEN I THINK IM SICK I ACTUALLY FUCKING AM PHYSICALLY SICK #FROM SYMPTOMS NOT CAUSED BY MY BRAIN #LIKE THE HACKING COUGH IM CURRENTLY DEALING WITH

[spookyspaghettisundae]

So Even Gods Can Die

Beeping. Revolving metallic sounds. Click. Computerized monitors. The light everywhere, blinding at first, then softening until his vision cleared. Click. Whirr. Click.

Bright light from the fluorescent tube overhead and daylight flooding in from a window. But it was not actually that bright. Click. It was his eyes slowly adjusting. The feeling of needles in his skin, taped down, and the plastic tubes hooked up to his nose to help him breathe.

Lips parched, throat dry. Click. When he swallowed, it felt like forcing down a lump of sand and lava. A woman sat in the room, and he did not recognize her. Click. But she looked at him, expectantly. Whirr.

A white box on the table next to the bed. Like one containing a cake. Click. The woman sitting in the room stared at him. The ominous white box stared at him. Click. Whirr.

It wasn’t his time yet. He refused to accept that. But between the woman and the box, he knew he was going to die.

Grit and sand clung to her clothes. Any spots of exposed skin featured myriads of cuts and scratches. Black rings of exhaustion lined her eyes, and her clothing looked like it had been mangled in a meat grinder.

The woman picked up a chart attached to the end of his bed and idly flipped through its pages. Click.

“Who are you?” he finally asked her.

She flapped the pages back up front and tossed the chart onto the foot of his bed. He watched but was too weak to protest. With delay, he registered that he couldn’t even feel it when the clipboard landed on his legs.

“I’m Kim. Here because we need you,” she said. Her words rolled out and sounded even more tired than she looked. Her eyes had a dull sheen, like she hadn’t slept in days or had taken some drugs, or practically had only caffeine in her veins.

Thump.

The white box on the table thumped again. It had moved half an inch. Although he had only seen it from the corner of his eye, he could have sworn that its walls had bent outwards when something thumped inside of it. Like there was a small animal trapped within.

“What’s in that box?” he asked. He lifted fingers, attached to a drip and some cables. Feeble, trembling softly as he tried to point at the gift box.

“Don’t worry about it; it’s got nothin’ to do with you. Or, well, maybe it doesn’t need to have anything to do with you,” she said.

“Okay,” he said. He had heard the threat implied in there.

He blinked—hard. Blinked again. Blinked so hard that it became painful.

The edges of his vision lost their blurriness. The fuzzy edges on everything straightened out—turned sharp. The clouds cleared from his memories.

His name was Gabriel. Gabriel understood his place in the world again. More powerful than his current state of being revealed. Even though his body had begun to betray him, he contained power beyond what normal mortal man could comprehend. More powerful than most of the wretches working in this hospital, or living in this pathetic city all around them.

A living god.

Or so he believed. Click.

“Cut the shit. What do you think you need? What do you hope to get from me?” Gabriel asked. Ordered. Every word he spoke hurt, as if each syllable rasped over his soft insides like sand paper.

“You don’t know us, but you may know Kevin,” Kim said. She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. The plastic squeaked, the metal creaked.

Thump.

The box had moved closer yet again. Like something inside of it was trying to get closer.

“Don’t mind it. If you get upset, it gets more violent,” she commented.

They both peeled their eyes off of the innocuous white box of terror and their gazes met.

Click. Whirr.

Gabriel pondered for a second and then sneered. He knew Kevin, alright. Michael’s protege and worst nemesis.

The person who was going to bring everything down.

“We need to find him, help him return from the House,” she said.

Gabriel chuckled. The chuckle transformed into coughing after a few labored revolutions of the laugh, leading to him hacking and wheezing.

His body had truly reached its end, but he refused to let go. Two hundred years was a long time.

Once he had gathered himself and felt her burning stare on himself, he asked, “How long’s that motherfucker been in there?”

“Three months,” she replied.

Gabriel closed his eyes and mulled it over. Bad number.

THUMP.

He ignored it. Probably just a baby of an entity inside that box.

It was more important to figure out what he was dealing with here.

Click.

How he could kill this woman.

Gabriel uttered a string of profanities; with no power in it because of his failing lungs, but more than enough zeal to express his disgust. She listened to his every odious word. He gave it a rest after a solid half a minute of swearing.

Click. Whirr.

“Fuck him,” he finally concluded. “Can rot in that hellish Otherworld for all I care.”

“No,” Kim said. Resolute, like a cliff standing defiantly against the ocean’s waves.

“No?”

“No,” she repeated. The word crashed like thunder. It fed into a headache growing behind Gabriel’s forehead. She added, “Once he’s out of the House, he can finish his transformation.”

Gabriel glared at her. His eyes simmered with rage and his tear ducts burned, not capable of producing the salty fluid anymore. His flesh was weak. But he still had other means. Other power. Power this woman failed to notice.

She had made a mistake by coming here like this.

THUMP.

He couldn’t be sure about the white box, though. He pondered if he was underestimating it.

Resigned to his fate here, he knew this was going to be a brutal battle. Not quite as uneven as his current state looked.

“Falmaghorr,” he whispered. So feebly that it sounded like nonsense, or like he was having a stroke.

“What?” Kim asked.

Click.

“Nevermind,” he sighed. Either she was stupid or he had snuck that past her. “You know, right? That when he completes that damned transformation, the world ends?” he asked her.

“And a new one is born,” Kim spoke with reverence, incessantly staring into Gabriel’s eyes. Into his soul.

She was convinced. Had chosen a side in this war. Her words just now—a declaration. A war cry, delivered with the eerie calmness that only zealots can produce.

“For every dream that is dying, a new world is born,” Gabriel mused, reciting the old poem that his kind were wont to sing. He broke out into another chuckle, dry and sardonic. Erupting into coughs at the tail end once more.

THUMP.

Kim pulled a small silver box from her jacket pocket and opened it to show him something inside of it. A steel syringe that looked like it came from a different age. Weathered, old, scratched.

“You came for my blood?” he asked. “Ridiculous. You could have just—you didn’t need me to be awake for—”

He stopped choking on those words. It dawned on him.

Blood of a dying hierophant—a potent reagent. One with powerful symbolic tension. And like all things magick, one where the symbolic tension lies in just how literal it was.

“Can’t beat the reaper,” he sighed. “Nobody beats the reaper. All you do is entertain ‘im. And hope you get off easy when it’s time to punch your final card.”

Kim took the syringe into her hands, slipped her fingers into its metal loops, but rested the awful thing on her lap. Waited. She was waiting for the moment during which he died. Had she put something into his IV drip to slowly kill him? Was she going to smother him with a pillow?

“Nice speech, asshole. You’ve lived way past your expiration date. After all you’ve done—after all the things you’ve gone and done to people—I think you’re getting off easy. Real easy.”

“Yeah? How you gonna do me in, bitch?”

Click.

Kim’s tired face contorted. With painful slowness, accentuated by the exhaustion written all over her visage, she formed a wide smile.

Click. Whirr.

“I ain’t gonna do a damned thing. Your time’s up, you Rasputin son of a bitch. I have a friend who—well, let’s just say she just knows these things. You’re about to punch your final card—right about now.”

She checked her wristwatch—whether it was out of genuine curiosity or to emphasize her words did not matter. Gabriel felt the weight of time crushing down on him. In his mind, the clock’s arms ticked away, second by second, ever closer to his doom.

The door to the room opened and both their heads turned to behold the new arrival. Kim had whisked the syringe away into hiding, holding it inside her jacket, her entire fist buried in there in an uncomfortable position.

A nurse entered and walked around the bed. She placed a cup of water on the table next to Gabriel. In contrast to the bright and happy colors of her scrubs, the nurse’s head was just a cloud of shadows and tentacles. Despite her name tag identifying her as Beverly Winters, the demon’s name was Falmaghorr.

Kim couldn’t see it. Its power over human minds held true; the entity looked like a normal nurse to her. She even smiled at Gabriel’s servant before Falmaghorr left the room and left them alone again. He sensed his demonic servant’s presence hovering just outside, waiting for him to summon it to battle inside this tiny room.

To think that he, who had seen the rise and fall of empires, would be fighting for his life in such a tiny, sterile room.

Click.

He had no intention of letting this harlot easily take his blood.

“In one last act of defiance against nature, he hopes to transform into a woman,” Gabriel theorized. “Because only a woman can give birth, and only a woman can birth a new world. Is that the idea?”

Kim said nothing. She checked her wristwatch again. Pulled out the syringe.

“You’re out of your fucking minds,” he growled. He suppressed the urge to cough that came with it.

“Time to go, you old bastard.”

“Now,” he uttered, oozing with contempt.

The room’s door burst open and Falmaghorr stomped inside.

The white box exploded. A black fog roiled out from it, churning like oil on water, spreading like a flood, engulfing everything in a flash, continuing to gush out of what seemed to be a bottomless pit inside that tiny white box.

Not a cake emerged from it, but mouths. Eyes. Things that cackled, and gibbered, and gnashed their tiny little teeth. Falmaghorr was consumed within seconds, blood spraying all over the place.

Kim was bathed in blood and gore from the entity’s body being ripped to shreds, but leaning over Gabriel. He felt the needle only after it had ruptured the skin.

Even through the cacophony of alien voices, he could hear the sounds of the machines.

Click. Whirr.

Blood being drained. Kim getting one step closer to breaking the House wide open.

Gabriel screamed.

Even gods can die.

—Submitted by Wratts

#spoospasu #spookyspaghettisundae #horror #short story #writing #my writing #literature #spooky #fiction #submission #real magick #kevin #kim #gabriel #strange box #what's in the box #hospital #helplessness #god #kill a god #power #magick #ascension #ritual #spell #demon #entity #pandemonium #evil #reagent

[spiffysixxsense]

Hello annoying best friend here to fulfill my duty by asking you to answer all of the cute asks

angel; do you have a nickname?

not really. my name is already short and I don't have a prominent quality to nickname me after. The only person who refers to me as anything other than my name is my boyfriend, but I don't think “babe/baby” really counts as a nickname lol

awe; how old are you?

24

baby; favorite color?

dark teal (blue-green? I've never found a good name for my favorite color)

bloop; spirit animal?

so because I didn't have a good answer for this, I decided to google a quiz to find out, lol. My answer was a deer. here's why;

When you have the deer as spirit animal, you are highly sensitive and have a strong intuition. By affinity with this animal, you have the power to deal with challenges with grace. You master the art of being both determined and gentle in your approach.

The deer totem wisdom imparts those with a special connection with this animal with the ability to be vigilant, move quickly, and trust their instincts to get out the trickiest situations

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

i don't really have a favorite book, i don't read much outside of school (I wish i did)

movie: A Beautiful Mind

song: oh dear lord i cannot pick just one, but all-time favorite band of mine is Shinedown

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

a little stuffed dog that looked like Kipper from the TV show, I still have him :)

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

lmao what came to mind was when i pledged to never drink, smoke, or say bad words. two out of fucking three ain't bad i guess. 

bright; mermaids or fairies?

(honestly neither but) fairies

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

given the asker, i would say yes :) also i am lame and my boyfriend is also my best friend 

buttercup; showers or baths?

S H O W E R S. hate baths!

butterfly; dream destination?

I've never had a huge desire to travel honestly. like sure i could say Italy or Greece look beautiful, but the actual act of traveling overseas really stresses me out lol. so i would have to say more like upper midwest, like Maine, in the fall time for all the pretty trees.

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

i am neither

calm; favorite scent?

anything fruity - pineapple, mango, berries, apples. at least in terms of what candles i like lol.

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

i do not remember anything from last night - the last dream i remember involved my boyfriend, dad and i being lost up north lol

charming; have you ever been in love?

currently 

cozy; eye/hair color?

hazel / brunette 

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

the 1970′s for the fashion

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

love me a good succulent

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

well this last birthday was amidst quarantine, so I got some candles and granola (my boyfriend knows me well lol)

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

i have no idea? what an odd question? probably some stuffed animal?

cutsie; what makes you happy?

picnics, alone time, my boyfriend, my cat choosing to cuddle with me.

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

I really cant think of a time I've ever felt truly free. maybe when i drove myself to school earlier this year & didn't have to wait for someone to pick me up? 

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

as a light in others lives. happy, bubbly. things i currently am not

daylight; favorite album of all time?

gosh these dang music questions. well, Nickelback - All the Right Reasons was the first album i ever bought myself. then maybe Shinedown - The Sound of Madness (i cant pick one OKAY)

dear; zodiac sign?

Taurus 

delightful; concerts or museums?

concerts

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes? this question makes me feel old, lol. 

dobby; dream job?

criminologist. some way to be reducing the mass incarceration rate in the US. 

doll; how do you like to dress?

comfy, v necks and leggings. As i have gotten older i have slowly wanted to be more feminine i think, because i really want some sundresses for summer lol

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

one! when i was 12ish, i swear i saw a reflection of a uniformed man (like old school soldier uniform - blue blazer with gold cufflinks) behind me in the glass of my snakes tank at the time. it was weird because the only reason i even looked that way was because my snake started shaking his tail against the glass, something that corn snakes do when they are scared, but also something that in his entire life had never done unprompted ever. 

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

want yes, have no

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

100%. no way we are alone in this universe

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

he makes my days so much better :)

fairy; do you have a pet?

I have one little old kitty :)

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

to vacation, ocean. to live, mountain

forever; where do you feel time stop?

the secretary of state? lol

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

I've never owned a plant lol

garden; how many languages do you know?

one :(

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

@cy-ne-fin 

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

sepia photography/old books that have yellowed into sepia. or fresh greenery on white marble. 

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

i don't really get any anymore, but as long as they are nice or just questions/venting, im down. don't be offended if i never answer though, for some reason i never get Tumblr notifications lol

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

im compassionate

im empathetic (which is similar but im struggling to get to 5 lol)

im goal-oriented

im determined (once i have said goal. again, related lol) 

i guess i like my lips/lip shape

heart; silk or lace?

lace

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

tea. iced, black or green really, with sugar. 

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

bird watching because it means i am probably alone and in nature as opposed to somewhere in a crowd of people. and i wont feel creepy for watching the birds lol

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

white noise, a fan running. if that's not enough, i enjoy asmr. if i am really struggling/having anxiety, i will look up sleep stories from the headspace app on youtube (life hack to not have to pay for the app lol)

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

to be outside, i enjoy just warm enough to be comfy in pants and a t-shirt (so like 65F-ish) and sunny.To be inside, i love when it is cooler (like 50F?) and raining. I love the look, sound, and smell of rain but it is usually just inconvenient to be in. 

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

well now all days are the same for me, #quarantine, so the same thing i do every day, just about nothing, lol

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

i guess laugh loudly because i am a loud person in general. i have a deep voice

kinky; do you blush easily?

i don't think so, my embarrassment turns into sweat, not blush, lmao

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

i guess being proposed to someday? but i don't have a certain dream way of it happening, just the fact that its happening is enough for me lol. id enjoy if someone (cough Elle or also maybe Michael lol) were secretly filming and/or taking photos of it? I am not sure how you'd manage that though

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

late at night when everything is quiet

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

old school three days grace (one-x album in particular)

love; what is your favorite season and why?

i always gravitate to fall for the leaves and pumpkin patches. but honestly, i think my favorite season is spring. i love the newly budding trees and flowers, the feeling of renewal, the release from the horrible Michigan winter lol, but most importantly, spring time for my whole life as of yet has always meant that school is over for the semester! as opposed to the fall when the semester starts. this is very long winded but spring final answer lol

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

I've never had a macaron and blue moon ice cream 

magic; what are five flaws you have?

ooooo boy

im short tempered/angry too much 

im unmotivated (which is confusing maybe because i said i am determined earlier. you see, once i HAVE a goal i feel determined to finish it. but i am unmotivated to create said goals, lol) 

im nonconfrontational to a fault where i always put others’ feelings before my own

i let fear of change stop me from ever taking risks/ am anxious

i am stubborn and sometimes have a hard time admitting i am wrong

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

this depends - screw pastels. warm neutrals for makeup purposes, but cool darks for aesthetic or decor purposes

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

someone who feels like home. I am not entirely sure how else to explain that. you just feel peace and content with them. 

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

something that allows you to only be with your date - so like a picnic or hike or just a walk even. my boyfriend and i liked to walk around in the fall for me to take pictures of leaves while he played pokemon go (man i miss the pokemon go summer and i have never even PLAYED it, it was just so fun to be with him while he played)

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

on youtube usually

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. if your family is toxic for whatever reason, you do not owe them your time strictly because they are family. 

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook, im not super into sweets & i want to enjoy the final product

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

normal? like its legible but its not pretty or cute

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

no:( wish i could play bass or drums

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

i don't :)

i really don't have an answer other than solving whatever is stressing me out, lol. i wish i had more mechanisms to calm me down but nothing i have tried has ever really worked

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

you know these favorites questions are hard for me lol. right now, i am loving watermelon, but i also love most fruits. kiwis! vegetable, i feel like i have to say potato lol

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

lol the last thing i read had to be some academic text, so that's boring

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

meeting Alex i guess, it changes my whole life path to have someone you want to do life with 

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

quarantine? lol

shine; art or music?

music is art.

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

i think so. Elle’s dog griffin loves me for some reason lol

smitten; do you collect anything?

not really

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

4

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

jolly ranchers 

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

nope

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

nope

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

Spongebob probably. unless we are talking like really tiny, toddler age, then Winnie the pooh

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

i live in a 2 bedroom apartment, there arent any spots. lol. my bed i guess

soothe; digital or vinyl?

i mean digital for convenience but vinyl for aesthetic 

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

i mean the only person i really actively miss ever is Alex. @cy-ne-fin sometimes, but i have also grown used to living away from each other

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyalty, honesty, & humor

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

if i must pick, practical. 

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

absolutely not. i feel like a burden with my feelings even though i shouldn't 

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

honestly not really. am on the fence still about ever having any 

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

not really

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

i am as average as they come man, nothing is unique about me lol

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

like a background friend? like i am not very social, so we do not have to talk every day to be friends. so like im here if you need me, but i enjoy alone time. 

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

the way my boyfriend looks at me, & as i was working on this my cat came to cuddle, which i gave as an answer earlier before he jumped up here :)

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owlllllll

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

the power to heal those who are hurting (including myself)

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home home home home

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

not anymore, i did in high school/early college years. not I've stopped caring

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

messy? kinda in the middle really. 

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

my state, sure. my city in particular is definitely pretty boring

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

I've never seen one :(

[lemonjoonah]

Under Fire - Pt 13

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Title: Under Fire Word Count: 6K+ Rating: M Genre: Gang AU/ Mafia AU, Drama Warnings: Violence, Minor Character Death Pairings: Hyung Line x Reader (Primarily Namjoon x Reader), very slight OT7 x Reader.   Pairings (in this chapter):  Jin x Reader, Namjoon x Reader

Summary: As a child you lived among the most wealthy and powerful, after the death of your mother you were shipped off to stay with her sister. Even after finishing your education you continue to live apart from the elite, but a visit home creates an unexpected disaster. You are suddenly roped into a darker world, and who better to be your guide than the infamous gang known as BTS.

Chapter 13 - Consorting with Monsters

POV (Y/N)

“That was quite the entrance Miss Park.” The coldness of Hyungwon’s tone is a drastic change compared to the greeting he had given you before.

You cough on the dust trying to catch your breath after the fall.

“Wait, the Park (Y/N)?”

“That depends,” You gasp. “Who’s asking?”

“What are you still doing here? EXO is in the building.”

You find their concern oddly placed as they dodge your question. “You think I haven’t noticed? First why don’t you tell me who the hell you are.” You look to Hyungwon, “You obviously had an ulterior motive for meeting with Henry.” You anger from find the truth about Henry seeps out. You know you should be afraid, that you should probably try and make a run for it. But no one has pulled a gun, none of them have tried to advance on you, or take you down. They actually seem just a stunned by the situation as you are.

The taller, bear like man speaks, “Monsta X, Henry was just our way in, we’re here following a trail of our own..”

Henry seems to be letting a lot of people in lately...“Never heard of you.”

“Ouch.” Retorts one of the members. “You may not have heard of us but our world seems to be fascinated by the anomaly of you. There have been a few rumours...”

“That you don’t give a shit about making money...”

“You care even less about keeping you own.”

“They call you incorruptible.”

You scoff, “Lame nickname.”

They redirect the conversation back to you leaving, “You have to go it’s not safe for you here.”

Why do they want you to flee so badly? Do they not see you as an enemy?

“Actually It’s probably safer for me to stay... with most of EXO outside.” You have several blank stares pointing in your direction.

“But Henry went to find you...”

“He locked me in a closet and lead EXO right to me... that bastard is one of them. I wasn’t crawling around in the ceiling out of convenience. I had to get away from him.” You lash out unable to keep your anger under wraps any longer.

“I knew something was off. Someone hacked us from this location a couple of weeks ago. They wanted us to think it was BTS trying to hack our server. I couldn’t shake the feeling that the style was very similar to...”

“Chanyeol’s?”

“Yeah, how did you know?”

You have no immediate plans to divulge that he had hacked you too, Chanyeol must have accessed both systems on the same night. “I created a trace for Chanyeol’s tag it just located Henry’s IP as a past access point. Speaking of which I need to get on to that computer.”

“No way, this was our lead first.”

“And that computer is my property,” As you step towards the computer they start to move on you. You back down realize the stupidity of arguing when outnumbered.  “Fine, but if you can’t gain access in two minutes, I’m taking over.” It seems like all they want is the same data that you came for. You’ll have to use this to your advantage, maybe even cut a deal with...

It strikes you, that’s exactly what they want... the reason they are here is the same reason BTS is currently backing up VIXX. They want a deal for the accords, but in order for that to happen they knew you would have evade EXO and escape too. Now this is something you can work with, “Do you have an exit strategy in place now that EXO is here?”

“I’m sure we can figure something out.”

You laugh at their arrogance. “Right... how can we be sure that they don’t know that we’re here right now?”

“Froze the cameras on this floor.”

That’ll give you some time then, you reach for your phone off the floor and proceed to dial the last missed call.

POV IM

Two minutes to hack into this system. A difficult job under the best circumstances but now I have you distracting me too.

I can see you from the corner of my eye as you turn your attention to the phone that had given away your location. The instant you hit dial someone must have picked up on the other end. I listen in while continuing to try to find a backdoor in the system.

“I’m fine, is everyone there okay?... Status...Uhh... It’s a little complicated. I’m still in the building, Henry’s office to be exact.”

You hold the phone away ear anticipating the response, a good call considering it’s so loud that I can hear it easily.

“What the hell are you still doing there? If Henry’s compromised you should be trying to get out!”

“Relax EXO thinks that I’ve already escaped. They’re outside looking for me. They won’t think to look in here. Henry and Chanyeol used this computer, they might have left some valuable information. I can’t let them wipe it.”

You know how to hold your ground I’ll give you that. You turn away from us to whisper the next part into the receiver. I can only vaguely here the name Monsta X. You hold the phone away from your ear again.

“Fire so help me god, you are never leaving the manor again!”

“Well I wouldn’t have crashed into them if someone had just replied sooner.” You seethe back. “Right now we have the same goal.” You turn to Shownu. “Where’s your ride?”

“On a side street two blocks east of here.”

“We are going to need the east side clear. I’ll give you a signal when we’re ready to exit... No it’s better if we go unnoticed, if you send anyone inside they’ll figure out I’m still here... He is?”

You walk over to the window and look to the building opsite.

“No, tell Suga if he takes a single unprovoked shot at them, I’ll make sure that he’ll never be able to afford another bullet.”

I quake a little knowing that your sniper is watching. You turn back to me holding up five fingers, then four.

“I need you to put JK on the line.”

Three fingers, now two.

“Because he is going to walk me through a hack.”

One... You look me dead in the eye. “My turn.”

POV RM  

I pass the phone to JK at the back of the SUV. He’s confused at first but as you start speaking his eyes light up and he  pulls out a laptop begins to type furiously. We had just dropped off Suga and J-Hope and are now pulling off near your directed exit.

“Everyone keep and eye out EXO is on the ground outside. We’ll clear a path and wait for her signal.”

If anything happens to you... I punch the door next to me hoping to ease my building rage. Jin sits next to me in silence. I expect a comment from him regarding my outburst, but it seems that his concern is overwhelming him too.

V and Jimin had to hold me back from J-Hope when I read your text. Claiming that it wouldn’t help the situation.... I beg to differ. If hadn’t sent him with Suga he would have taken the doors place. Regardless of what you’ve planned, if you aren’t out in fifteen minutes I’m going in there after you.

POV (Y/N)

“JK I need access to Henry’s computer, do you think you can get me on from there?”

“I’ve hacked your foundation once before. This should be easy, it’s my system after all.”

The man next to you speaks up. “It’s not so simple, he's installed an additional login in protocol for a hidden account. If it detects any intrusion it wipes the hard drive”

“Did you hear that JK?’

“Yeah, let me think.”

“What about the main frame? If you send out software and security updates is his computer included?”

“Yes, that might work! I’ll create a dropnet override, that’ll redirect the data elsewhere, catching it, when the system tries to delete it after a forced entry. Once it’s backed up we should have access to it. It’s an easy safety protocol but we’ll only have one shot at this.

You tap your fingers anxiously on the mouse, while waiting for JK to generate the necessary code. Your eyes stay on the screen not wanting to lock eyes with the men currently watching you.

“Update sent, restart the computer and lock it down.”

The process only takes a minute, two failed attempts and the hidden account vanishes.

“The backup file should be in the admin account on that computer now. New password is Foxtrot, Uniform, Hotel, Echo, November, Romeo, Yankee.”

You chuckle at what he spells out. “I’m in thanks JK.” You hang up the phone, and hold out your hand to the man next to you. “Hard drive?”

The man next to you looks at you with frustration.

“Just give it to her Jooheon.” Another scorns. “No need to sulk about it.”

He reluctantly hands it over. The volume of files stored on the computer is surprising low, but you’re more interested in the server connections. It should only take you a few minutes. You lean back in the computer chair watching them discuss their plan of escape.

“Anyone going to introduce themselves while we wait?”  

They look taken aback at your ease.

The man who had introduced them as Monsta X takes the responsibility pointing to each member in turn.  “I’m Shownu this is Wonho, Minhyuk, and Kihyun. You already know Hyungwon, and the so called hackers next to you are Jooheon and IM.”

“Thanks for the confidence boost Leader...” IM replies.

As the download finishes Jooheon makes a grab for the hard drive, but you beat him to it.

“That’s my hard drive.”

“The contents belong to me and they’re far more valuable than your equipment.” You pull out a wad of bills from your pocket and place them in his outstretched hand. “Here buy yourself a new one.” You tuck the hard drive into your shirt as he lets out a growl to your slight.

“There are seven of us what makes you think you’ll be leaving with that?”

“You could go ahead and try to take it, but I don’t think Suga will be too pleased.” You point to the window. “Let’s make a deal, help me get out of here with this data in one piece and you have my word that you’ll get your contract at the accords.”

“How did you...”

“It’s why you’re here isn’t it? You needed to find something to use as a bargaining chip and prove your use. What do you deal in?”

“Hallucinogens.”

“Party tricks, I would imagine your market isn’t too big then. You need funding don’t you? Let me keep this and I promise you’ll get your deal.”

“We are looking for something a bit longer than an accord, would you be willing to negotiate permanent employment?”

You hesitate but you don’t have much of a choice. “Yes but I need my team to confirm.”

“Are you not their new backer?”

“I’m not about to make a choice that will affect them without their consent.”

“Good, that’s what we wanted to hear.”

Are they really fucking testing you here? Now?! “We need to go they might give up on their search soon.”

They start pulling up black cloth masks over the lower half of their faces. “Keep her in the middle, and let’s do this as quietly as possible.” Shownu directs.

It feels odd walking these halls surrounded by them, your two worlds are colliding again. Nothing about this situation is normal.

You’ve almost made it to the stairs with you come across an unwelcome face. Henry had just turned the corner and you have seem to have taken him by surprise.

“(Y/N) you’re still here?! I was so worried when I went back and I couldn’t find you.” He eyes the men around you and holds out his hand to you. “Thank you for finding her, but (Y/N) you should come with me I think I saw your security team outside.”

It was a bold move, especially when you are surrounded by seven men glaring at him.

You are polite at first, “I’m sorry I made you worry, but tell me...” a darkness creeps into your voice as you continue, “...Were you more concerned that you lost me, or that you had blown your cover?”

He tries to hold on to the lie. “What are you talking about? What have they been telling you?”

You are tired of this pretense,“You didn’t happen to grab those shoes you and Sehun saw out the window, did you? It would be nice to get those back...” You enjoy teasing him about your deception, but it costs you.

The same time Shownu pulls out a gun Henry pulls out a radio. “Objective on the fourth floor.”  

Shownu looks to you, asking for confirmation.

With no hesitation you give him the order, “Do it.”

The gun recoils as Henry drops to the floor. You feel no change, no remorse, no ease to your anger, only the drive to continue.  

There’s staircase is just around the corner along with numerous  incoming footsteps and shouts. Shownu pulls in IM and Wonho whispering to them as you hold tight to the wall.

Wonho rejects whatever plan Shownu has, “I’m not her fucking bodyguard, I’m staying.”

“Wonho!” Shownu hissed.

“Fine.”

“One... Two...”

Minhyuk and Kihyun toss two canisters round the corner. At the same time that Wonho grabs your upper arm pulling you around the corner into a smoke filled hallway. You gasp in surprise foolishly drawing in the fumes. While the others remain in the hall as a distraction Wonho and IM guide you into the stairwell. You gasp for fresh air your lungs burning.

IM pats your back, “Sorry should have warned you about the smoke. Next time we’ll make sure to get you a mask.”

“Next time?!” You sputter.

“Keep moving.” Wonho pushes you along.

You take the stairs as fast as you can. You reach the first floor exit, but someone has jammed it in place. Wonho and IM both throw their shoulders into it but it hardly gives an inch.

Wonho takes your arm again and tugs you down the next flight leading to the basement garage. He stops at the next landing. “IM wait here with her, I think they might be trying to funnel us somewhere.”

He creeps down the last couple of stairs. Crouching as he pushes on the bar of the door, it clicks open. But what he can’t see above him is a lever being pulled from the other side. You crash down the steps after him, “GET DOWN!”

POV Wonho

I feel you collide with my back before I hear your words.

“GET DOWN!”

Fuck...

Your momentum pushes us forward, a wave of heat and pressure is accompanied by  a loud bang.

Your weight falls limp on my back. I lift myself up just enough to turn my head  to the other side to check on you. Your body is slumped over mine with your head resting on the concrete floor, eyes closed and face relaxed.

“Are you guys okay?”

“I’m fine, she’s out cold, must have hit her head.” I slowly push myself up more catching you as you slide off my back. “Run and get the van, meet us in here. I can’t carry her out there we would be too vulnerable.”

“Someone probably heard that though, it’s not safe to stay here.”

“Then we’ll hide, just go!”

As IM runs off, I pick you up and find a dark spot nestled between two cars. I pull my jacket off and place it around your shoulders before leaning you against the back wall. I crouch down next to you holding up your chin I check your breathing.

Why would you do that huh? Someone should teach you a thing or two about negotiating. You clearly need us as much as we need you. I sigh leaning my head against the car behind me.

I guess I owe you now.  Who knows maybe this would work out in the long run, but I can tell keeping you out of trouble will be a difficult task.

“Come on you with me yet?” I pat your face, no response. “Aishh, why were you alone? Where was your team?”

I’ll have to have a chat with them. If you take us on this can’t happen anymore.

The click of footsteps can be heard across the garage. They as they draw closer I pull out my gun ready to defend this spot. A few more seconds and we would be completely unobstructed from their view. I have to stop them before they reach that point.  I peak over the car, gun pulled at my target... D.O. stands before me but then dives quickly behind a pillar as I take a few shots.

IM has impeccable timing, crashing through the garage door before D.O. can retaliate. I dart out as the van breaks and drifts presenting the side door. Which is promptly thrown open by a very damp Jooheon. I hold you tight to my chest as I jump in.

“What the hell happened Wonho? IM said that she pushed you out of the way of a blast.” Kihyun rages.

Jooheon wasn’t the only one soaked to the skin, IM in fact is the only dry member in the van.

“Yeah, I fucked up. Didn’t see the trigger, but neither did IM, or at least he didn’t bother trying to save me.”

“BTS is going to be pissed.” Kihyun adds. “Speaking of which find her phone they’ll be calling again soon when they see us drive by.”

Minhyuk is about to check her pockets, I push him away. “Back away drowned rat, you don’t need to add drenched to the list of problems when we drop her off. What happened to you anyway?”

“Jumped from the 3rd floor window into the pool next door. We had no choice we were trapped. Made it to the car the same time IM did.” I guess splitting up worked out in my favour. Even when facing death I probably wouldn’t have the strength to jump.

The phone in my hand starts to vibrate. Shownu takes it and answers it. “Change of plan, there was an accident. We had to get her out in our van. We’re on our way to the Park manor. We have a few things we would like to discuss with you.”

I can hear RM’s stern voice on the other end. “Put her on the phone.”

“She’ll see you there.” Shownu hangs up.

“Are you trying to piss of their leader, fuck Shownu show some tact. We’ll be lucky if we aren’t DoA.” Kihyun scolds him.   

Jooheon leans over us from the seat behind, he pokes your cheek with his finger. “Is she still breathing?”

“Yes, and will you quit dripping on her?” I smack his hand away.

“We should try to be a bit more restrained,” Kihyun comments. “We don’t know what we’ll be walking into. She says she’ll help us with the deal now, but what will happen when she’s surrounded by her team?”

“I don’t think she’ll back down on the offer. She probably already has a plan in mind for us.” Why else would you have risked your life for mine?

POV (Y/N)

You wake with a slight sensory deprivation, your ears feel muffled, and your head is pulsing blurring your vision. You find yourself wrapped in a jacket, surrounded by a team that is not your own. What had happened that had lead to this point? It was never part of the plan for you to get in Monsta X’s van. Your instinct screams at you to get out, that maybe they hadn’t been as trustworthy as you had hoped. You lunge, reaching over Wonho for the door of the moving vehicle, willing to take the risk of injury over capture.

“Whoa, where do you think your going?” Wonho grabs you and holds you in your seat before you can even reach the handle.”

“Let me go, this wasn’t part of the deal.”

“Aissh we’re taking you home... We had to improvise we couldn’t get you out without a bit more cover considering you were out cold. Do you even remember what happened?”

“You saved Wonho’s ass, that’s what happened.” Kihyun mutters with a snort.  

Right... the snared door. Lifting your hand you rub the newly tender spot on your head.  Hoping it will help bring back the all the memories of before you stupidly jumped in front of a fucking bomb. You lean forward to get a good look out the drivers window to confirm his story. The winding road out of the city is one that you have taken many times.

You relax in your seat glancing over to Wonho as his grip lessens. “You made it out okay then?”

Wonho lets go of you completely and click his tongue as if you’ve offended him.

“You took the hit and you’re asking him if he’s okay? The only thing wounded on Wonho is his pride.” Hyungwon explains.

“Why didn’t you just stop and rendez vous with BTS once we were at a distance?”

“We wanted to discuss our deal in a safe location.  And the longer we keep around the more we get to tease Wonho.” Minhyuk bumps your side.

“Aiish, you’re soaked!” You notice the same damp appearance on almost all the other members around you. “Why are you all wet?”

“We decided to go for a swim in the hotel pool next to your building. On a somewhat related note you are going to have to replace a window on the third floor.”

“You didn’t, you actually jumped?”

“Had to get out somehow.” Shownu reasons.

As you pull up to the gate you see Namjoon, J-Hope, and Jimin on the other side. There’s a noticeable scowl on Namjoon’s face.

“Looks like they beat us back”

“I think you better let me talk to them first.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.”

You open up the car door as the gates slowly open. A relief spread across Namjoons face when his eyes meet yours. You can’t get to him fast enough, he obviously feels the same tugging at the gate in an attempt to make it open for you faster.

His arms reach out and wrap around you one of his hands holding the back of your head burying your face into the crook of his neck. You wish you could have stayed like that for a while but Jimin clears his throat bringing Namjoon back to the task at hand. He pulls away holding you at arms length.

“Are you okay?” He expression returns to a scowl as he takes note of the jacket and your bare feet.

“I’m fine what about you? Hope seems really worried when he got your messages.”

“VIXX backed down in time, you should head inside we’ll have a quick chat with this lot.”

“I think it would be better if we all spoke inside.” You urge, “There is a lot we need to discuss.”

“You can’t be serious,” He scoffs.

“I am. We should think about considering them an ally.”

“Maybe we should hear them out RM.” J-Hope speaks up.

“Hope don’t even start, if you hadn’t left her alone we would not be in this mess.”

“If he hadn’t left me we might not have seen Henry’s true allegiance! Monsta X knew something was wrong before we did, you need to hear them out.”

He hesitates, “Fine we’ll listen, but I will make no promises beyond that.”

“That’s all I ask.” You know he’s just looking out for everyone's safety, but you needed to be firm.

Jimin pushes the button opening the gate the rest of the way and waves the van in. Namjoon lifts you up saving your feet from the gravel path. Normally you would argue, but with the pain radiating from several spots on your body you are glad to be spared from the walk. As he takes you back to the manor Jimin spots the scratch on your forehead.

“What’s that, did you get hurt?” He leans in taking a closer look at the cut.

“I’m fine, there was a bit of an accident EXO left an unexpected present.”

“You should get Jin to take a look.”

“And have him scolding me, while fussing over it? No thanks.”

The van had reached the end of the lane long before you, and there they are... in your driveway...fucking changing...

“What the hell? Put your pants back on!” You yell at them.

Namjoon, J-Hope and Jimin don’t seem impressed by the display. You push against Namjoons chest forcing him to set you down on the doorstep

“Sorry we didn’t want to get your things wet.” Wonho smiles slyly exchanging the shirt in his hand for a new one from the trunk.

“Wonho you didn’t even jump in the pool!”

“No but the smokey smell was unpleasant.”

You roll your eyes as Wonho continues to smile.

“Fine just come in when your FULLY dressed. Hope can you override the security system for them?” He nods being unusually quiet.

The second you step in the door Jin is hounding you to make sure you’re okay, state of your forehead doesn’t escape his notice. “What...”

“Later Jin, please?” He huffs and mumbles a few choice words under his breath.

You step over to Suga and JK who are sitting on the stairs, pulling the storage device out of your shirt, you hand it over to JK. “Henry’s computer data, looks like we’ll have a busy couple of days ahead of us.”

He takes the drive, “Looking through another man’s browser history, this should be interesting.”

“I have a more pressing task for you now though. I need you to double check the security footage, Monsta X said that they froze the cameras but I need to be sure.” JK nods and heads upstairs.

You turn to Suga, “Thanks for watching out for me.”

“No problem, it had the added bonus of getting to watching most of them jump out the window.”

“But why are they here now, what do they want?” Jimin asks.

“They want financial backing.”

“Then why not wait until the accords?”

“They’re looking for a long term investor, longer than a year at least.”

“I would like to live in a fantasy world too,” V mutters.

There’s a knock at the door. V lets them in eyeing them up as they enter the foyer.

Jin leads the way to the formal meeting hall. Namjoon starts with questions the second everyone is seated, BTS on one side of the table, Monsta X on the other. “Why were you at the foundation tonight?”

Shownu takes the lead in answering, “Several weeks ago we had someone attempt to take down our distribution server. They used minimal IP protection which was easily decrypted. Too easily... the source was a computer from your building. Someone wanted us to think that you had hacked us. We wanted to find out why. We thought that this information might be useful to you and intended to use it to bargain with. Hyungwon was trying to keep Henry busy and lure him out of the office so we could investigate.  We had no idea that (Y/N) or EXO would be there.”

Suga growls, “Don’t speak of her so informally.”

“My apologies, we were hoping that we could come to an agreement with more than a few rivals in common. The problem is with the accords only lasting a year many groups like ourselves often become targeted after having made even more powerful enemies. We don’t want this to happen to us.”

“We’re not interested.” Namjoon answers.

“Wait, you said yourself we need more manpower, what’s wrong with them?” You ask despite being able to guess it was his pride getting in the way. Monsta X knew about Henry before BTS, and Namjoon doesn’t like that.

“Manpower yes. They’re just boys messing about, and getting lucky.”

“RM...” You growl back at him.

“Well these boys just pulled your patron out of a dangerous situation, placed there by someone you thought you could trust. Where were you? If you want to keep her alive you’re doing a piss poor job of it.” Wonho snaps back.  

“This is getting us nowhere, pride aside what’s the real reason RM?”

He was not happy with your accusation. “The members of Monsta X have been known for partaking in their own product. Some say they got hooked on their own drug. It makes them unreliable, how can we trust them if they’re just looking for their next high?”

“That was a long time ago, we’ve put it all in our past.” Minhyuk shouts in disagreement.

Wonho elaborates, “If it’s a question of trust let me enlighten you. You might owe your life to her father, but I now owe my life to her.”

You panic realizing he’s going to tell them the stupid stunt you had pulled, knowing you’ll be in so much shit once they find out. Your eyes widen trying to communicate for him to stop, but he continues.

“There was an explosive attached to one of the exits. I was being careless, not thinking about a possible trap. She didn’t have to but she saved me, and she was hurt in the process.”

You hang your head as your team looks to you to confirm the story.

“Which brings me to my next point, she needs medical attention.”

“Glad we can agree on something,” Jin sighs getting out of his chair pulling yours out from the table with you still in it.

“Wait we’re not finished here!” You exclaim.   

“If we require anything from you I’ll have someone fetch you. Go with Jin... that’s an order.” You’re unsure of what hurt more Namjoon’s cold words, or the disappointment he holds in his face.

You continue to hesitate, but as Namjoon stares back at you it becomes clear that they wouldn’t continue with you there.  

“Are you going to walk or am I going to have to carry you upstairs too?” Asks Jin.

As you stand so does everyone else keeping a formal tone as to not seem bothered by what had just transpired, “Thank you for your services tonight, I hope you can come to an agreement.”

Monsta X bows as you leave the room followed by Jin. He grips your arm and steers you to his office. He doesn’t say word until you are inside. The second the door is shut his aggression melts away, and he pulls you into a hug. “I'm so glad you’re safe. When Hope arrived we thought he had left you safe at the manor. We were so preoccupied we didn’t get a chance to check our phones. I’m sorry we took so long. What happened after he left?”

Jin sits you down on the table and lifts your chin to get a better look at the scratch on your head. You told everything, when you describe the air vent climb he examines your hands clicking shaking his head at the abrasions, he grabs a swab and cleans them.

“May I?” He holds on to the jacket you’re wearing. You nod as he reveals the ripped blouse to find your lower back swollen with scratches. He pats the table asking you to lay down on your stomach. Instead of getting you to take it off he simply rips the already destroyed fabric, tearing the shirt in two to get a clear view. While he rubs ointment in your wounds you continue your story. Your throat cracks when you speak of meeting Henry and how Shonu delivered the final blow.

“So he’s dead?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“See it? Jin I ordered it!”

Jin doesn’t respond as if pretending he didn’t hear you. Giving up on that battle for now you continue on. Your voice completely leaves you when you speak of the explosive, it takes several attempts to explain your actions and reasoning. “I saw it as he was opening the door I... I didn’t think I just ran. He was trying to get me out, if he had died it would have been my fault. My head collided with the pavement as we went down, and then I woke up in the car.”

Jin stars at you in disbelief, “Right, I’ll be back I’m going to go murder Wonho.”

“Jin.”

“I kid.” But there’s no laughter in his voice. “Are you sure you want to work with them?”

“Yes, I think we can rely them. Although the attitude in the room makes it seem like that won’t be happening.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that. RM is just playing with his cards to his chest. He wants to see everything they can offer before we take them on. Life debts are not taken lightly in our line of work and now Wonho owes you his.”

“That’s ridiculous, how is it any different than them helping me escape?”

“Adding you to the escape plan wouldn’t have put them in anymore danger, and you promised them a contract. They were simply doing their job. You on the other hand, had no reason to take the hit from the charge, other than to save his life. That boy now owes you.”

You are scared to ask about the elephant in the room, fearing the answer. “How much did Henry know.”

“Quite a bit, and I’m sure even more than what we told him. JK is probably updating security codes as we speak. We never explained our end game but even if he knew of our plan and told EXO there are ways we can work around it.”

“We’ll need a new lawyer...”

“Might be able to get one through the accords.”

He hands you a fresh shirt of his to cover yourself again as he sits you back up. Jin then begins to shine a light in your eyes checking your responses, and finishes by placing a small bandage on your head.

“Can I go back down now?”

“You should get some rest instead they could be at it for hours.”

With no warning Namjoon bursts into the room.

“I take that back...”

Namjoon looks to be fuming his eyes narrow, chin puffed out, and his hair piled on the top of his head, as if he had been repeatedly running his fingers through it. “Why?! Why did you risk yourself? Do you not realize how important you are?”

“So the other members can risk their life but I can’t?”

“Not for someone you barely know! We’ve lost too much already, I will not lose you too.”

“Would you have risked your life to save Henry?” You know it’s a low blow but you had to get your point across. “We can’t always know how important someone will be to us, sometimes we just have to take that risk. I know that my father would have done the same.”

That does nothing to quell his anger. He places a hand on either side of you on the table and looks straight at you. You look back in defiance.

“You’re benched for now, pull a stunt like this again and it’ll be permanent. I need you... we need you to stay safe.” The slip of his words costs him the validity of his argument, informing you that the demand isn’t for the teams needs, but his. He pulls away taking the jacket that Wonho had given to you, and heads back to the door. “When you’re ready, the return on your risk is waiting outside. He wants to talk to you.” There is a growl in his voice, similar to that of an animal trying to keep possession of what’s theirs.

POV RM

I left Jin’s office slamming the door behind me. Wonho is leaning up against the wall. “She’ll be out in a minute.” He nods and stands a little straighter. I shove his jacket back at him before retiring to my bedroom straight across the hall from Jin’s office.

Your conversation pierces the walls of my room as if to taunt me.

“Wonho... what did you agree upon RM didn’t...”

“A month trial and evaluation after that we’ll renegotiate for a long term deal.”

“Good, I’m glad you were able to reach that.” Your words conflict with your sad tone.

“Any orders for your new crew?”

Silence fills the air for a moment.

“I can’t help them as easily in the field, and with my presence they’ll only make more enemies... Please just watch their backs for them. Keep your ear to the ground and look for those like Henry, he might be dead but I’m sure there's more.”

“Of course. Here give me your phone. This is my number call me if you run into any more trouble, or if you get bored of this lot.” The volume of his voice rises for his last comment, I can only assume for my listening pleasure.

You laugh at the idea. “Thank you, but I don’t think I’ll get bored any time soon.”

Wonho leaves, but there’s no sound of departure from you. Instead there is the distinct thump of you slumping to the floor followed by sobbing breath. I am a mere second away from opening my door when I hear Jin exit first.

“(Y/N) why are you down there... are you crying? Did he say something to...”

“It’s not enough... there’s no way it’s enough,” You whisper.

“Shhh it’s okay, what’s not enough?”

It sounds like Jin’s question is only meet with tears as you continue to weep. It wouldn’t be enough to keep us safe.That was why you shielded Wonho, why you wanted to take Monsta X on so quickly. You risked your life so you could help protect us.

A/N: If you get the chance please check out my master list. I posted an additional POV of Suga from chapter 11 (fundraiser scene) that tumblr decided to hide the tags on when I first posted it. If you like an angsty/angry Suga I highly suggest reading it.

#bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts x reader x monsta x #bts reader insert #bts mafia au #bts gang au #kim namjoon x reader #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #kim seokjin x reader #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #bts hyung line x reader #monsta x cameo #bts under fire series

[whattimeisitintokyo]

Somos Familia: Chapter 34 (Part 2)

Well this chapter ended up being way too long. I had planned more for this chapter, but that ended up being long enough to be its own chapter and I’m tired of feeling that I have to finish the whole thing in order to post it. So here’s the last bit of the chapter. You can find the whole chapter on ff.net, and I’ll try to have it up on AO3 with a illustration soon. Sorry again for the long wait.

Also tomorrow is my birthday. I guess you could say that finishing this chapter on my own terms was my gift to myself. :)

---------------------------

Chapter 34: No Me Dejas (Part 2)

“Three days have passed since Dia de Muertos, and the country still mourns the abrupt and tragic loss of Ernesto de la Cruz, widely considered as one of the greatest musicians in the modern history of Mexico. Señor de la Cruz had just finished performing a concert that evening when sources say that a giant prop bell had accidentally broken off from the stage rigging above the singer, crushing and killing the singer instantly.

Since then thousands of grieving mourners have flocked to the gates of de la Cruz’s magnificent mansion in Colonia del Valle, holding candle light vigils and singing prayers while also leaving tokens and flowers outside. The mansion has also served as the home to his goddaughter and rising starlet, Coco Rivera. Whilst being known as a favorite topic of gossip this pass year in newspapers and magazines, Señora Rivera has surprisingly been keeping a low profile and out of the public eye since that fateful night. It can only be assumed that she is taking this time to mourn as well for the loss of such an important family member.

In related news her father Héctor Rivera, de la Cruz’s longtime business partner and songwriter, has been in hospital since that night after being taken from the scene by paramedics. There is no word on his condition, but his lawyer has assured that Señor Rivera was not injured in the stage accident but is instead seeking treatment for an undisclosed illness. We here at Excélsior wish him a speedy recovery and our thoughts and prayers are with him and his family.

Petitions are already being made to have Senor de la Cruz’s body to be lain to rest in his hometown of Santa Cecilia in Oaxaca, despite heavy requests to have him entombed in la Panteón Civil de Dolores alongside other famous people in Rotonda de las Personas Ilustres.

At the time of his death Señor de la Cruz was in the middle of several movie projects that will sadly forever remain unfinished, including a biopic about the Mexican Revolution, and was in talks of a deal to lend his voice for an American animated movie with Dis-“

A low, quivering moan broke Imelda’s concentration on the newspaper and turned it towards her husband currently occupying the hospital bed in front on her. With a sigh she folded it and placed it to her side, reaching out and grasping one of his twitching hands with hers. She winced at the tremors she still felt rattling slightly through his fingers, as well as the awkward way she was forced to hold his hand.

What with his wrist being tightly braced and strapped to the guard rail of the bed.

His other hand was also strapped on the opposite side, and a large padded belt wrapped around his thin chest to keep him firmly in place on the bed. An oxygen mask was placed over his face and several IVs were pumping him full of fluids and medicine. And despite being in a deep state of sleep, his teeth were clenched tight and his brows knitted into an expression of intense distress. A keening whine escaped his throat that gave into a deep, hacking fit of coughs.

Imelda immediately pulled off the mask and brought a clean handkerchief to his mouth as Héctor coughed painfully, only the straps keeping his body from convulsing on the bed. Finally, with one good expulsion he was able to clear his airway for the time being, gasping as Imelda wiped the corners of his mouth and placing the mask back. As he settled back down, he gently started to tremble again, whining pitifully and tears leaking from his dark sunken eyes.

Imelda sighed as she brought a clean corner of the handkerchief to wipe the tears from his face before placing it down to run her fingers through his greasy, unwashed hair to offer some form of comfort. It only seemed to distress him further and with a broken dry sob he wrenched his head away from her touch, lost in his nightmares.

It was truly heartbreaking to see Héctor reduced to such a state, but she was grateful to see him getting at least some form of rest. Especially after the last few days.

“What is this?!” she had screamed at the doctor, watching on in horror as several orderlies fought to restrain her husband’s mad flailing. “This is not pneumonia! What is happening to him?!”

Before the doctor could answer Héctor let out a wail and swung a punch at an unfortunate orderly standing too close by and knocking him off his feet. His arm now free he managed to rip off the IV out and began to frantically scratch at his chest, all the while yelling out profanities and indecipherable words as his eyes tracked at unseen figures and visions. As Imelda was hurried out of the door the last thing she heard was Héctor calling out for Ernesto.

And then for her.

“It’s the DT’s.” the doctor had explained after he was able to calm her down some with Coco and Julio by her side. “Delirium tremens. It’s alcohol withdrawal. If he’s been drinking for as long as you’ve said, Señor Magallanes, then it’s quite dangerous for him to just completely stop. It causes vivid hallucinations, irregular heart rates, sometimes seizures and, if severe enough, death.”

Ignoring the agonized weeping from her daughter and her own chest clenching in grief, Imelda whispered. “What can be done?”

The doctor wrung his hands and looked down in dismay. “Honestly, not much. There are medicines that can be given to treat this, but they would adversely affect his respiratory system. Given his pneumonia I can’t recommend giving it to him. Also, there’s the fact that he’s malnourished, and the shock… All I can do is give him some mild sedatives and monitor his heart and lungs. The rest is up to him, I’m afraid.”

They had returned to his room a few hours later to find him as he was now: strapped down and barely able to move, Dios knows that he was trying though. Despite the small amount of medicine that was given to calm him down, Héctor still saw visions that were terrifying to him and he strained to lash out at them. His screams had died down to pitiful whimpers and moans, and tears streamed down into his hair and ears. Over the next few days he was either in this state or a death-like sleep, and Imelda didn’t know which one was worse.

She felt absolutely foolish about it now, but seeing her husband going insane right in front of her had caused her to lash out at her daughter. Why didn’t she tell her that it was this bad? That he was starving and drinking himself to death, that his cold was actually much worse than it was, and that he was so miserable and broken-hearted that he screamed for her in his nightmares?

Instead of a cowed child being rightfully chastised by her mother for keeping secrets from her, Coco had met her glare dead on and even more. Imelda flinched back in shock at the righteous fury that showed on her daughter’s face, and what she had said next had finally knocked her off the high pedestal that she had set herself up on:

“What do you care, Mamá?”

And Imelda had to admit, she was right. Nothing she had done the past few months had shown that she cared about the man that she had kicked out of her life. She ignored every call, sent back every letter and telegram, even dodged each mention of him when Coco would talk to her on the phone. When she had bid a warm goodbye to Julio and Victoria she told them to give her love and warm wishes to Coco when they arrived. But not to Héctor. She just didn’t care.

But that was wrong. She did care. She cared about him and loved him so much that it hurt. And seeing her husband now, so lost in his sickness and misery, Imelda couldn’t bear the guilt that was crushing her from the inside.

“idiota… This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Imelda whispered as she locked Héctor’s cold fingers around hers once more. “You weren’t supposed to do this. Héctor…”

But he continued to sleep fitfully, his breathing hitching and occasionally giving in to more cough fits, and she continued to stay by his side. It was all she could do, now that it was too late.

-----------------------------------------

It was quiet now.

The walls had stopped melting into putrid puddles of gore and maggots, the bugs had stopped buzzing in his head and stinging his flesh, and the monsters had stopped attacking him.

The monsters were the most terrifying though. They held onto his arms and legs so tightly that he thought he would end up breaking his bones in his efforts to get away from them. They had looked human too, but humans didn’t have glowing white eyes and rotting flesh. They’re voices were low and distorted, filling him with dread despite what the words they said that were supposed to sound soothing.

Señor Rivera, calm down. You’re safe!

We have to give him something!

We can’t risk his lungs giving out! Just strap him down!

Dios, turn him over! There’s too much fluid, suck his lungs out!

It took forever for them to finally let him be, after many terrifying episodes of not being able to breathe and more fits of screaming in terror of the horrible visions in front of him, but he was finally able to break free and make a run for it. Well, run wasn’t the best word for how he was able to finally move. Floating wasn’t either. The world seemed to dissolve into a myriad of distracting colors and sounds, and he simply let his mind flow with it in a dream-like state.

And then suddenly he found himself finally there.

Back in front of the bell.

With a cry of triumph, he made his way over to it and braced himself against it in a sort of clumsy hug. “Don’t worry Ernesto! I’ll get you out! You’ll be alright!”

And so he had pushed. And pulled. Digging his feet into the earth and straining as hard as he could against the cold hard bell. He shouted encouraging words towards his friend, not letting the lack of a response deter him in any way. It seemed like he did it for hours, for days even, his throat hoarse as he cried out for help from someone, anyone! He’d even accept the monsters help if he could find them. In a last ditch effort he had even called out for his wife, pleading with her to help him even if she wanted nothing to do with him afterwards.

But she didn’t come. He could swear he heard her voice whispering to him, but he couldn’t make it out no matter how hard he tried to listen. With a broken heart he could only conclude that she was telling him to leave her alone. She had no use for such a lousy husband and a terrible father to her children. He couldn’t say he blamed her. He couldn’t even help his brother escape from his prison.

He was worthless.

And so, for the longest time, there was nobody except him and that bell. When he couldn’t push against it anymore, when his voice finally gave out and his spirit broke, he sat in front of it and softly cried. He murmured apologies to Ernesto, to Imelda, to his children, to anyone he had wronged in his existence. There was no use. There was nothing left for him. Except that bell.

“What are you doing?”

With a gasp Héctor looked up at the new presence before him. At first he feared it was one of those terrible monsters come back to take him away again, but it’s voice was not bone-chilling and grating. Rather it was sweet and clear, the clearest Héctor had heard in a while, but the figure itself was… light. A vaguely human shape ball of light that burned so bright yet oddly didn’t hurt to look at. If he squinted a little Héctor could guess that its head was slightly tilted in a sort of curious quirk. It was sort of cute, if a ball of light could be considered cute, and Héctor found himself slowly start to relax.

“I-…” he sniffled pitifully and turned watery eyes towards the bell. “I can’t move it… Ernesto’s under there and… I have to save him.”

“Really?” the light said and floated over the bell. Héctor saw a hand reach out and knock against the bell, and it rang out loudly enough for Héctor cringe back with a wince. He didn’t like that sound. Not at all. “I don’t know. Sounds empty to me.”

Héctor gaped at the bell, his heart sinking, and frantically shook his head. “N-no!... He’s under there! I saw it drop on him!”

The ball of light chuckled in tinkling sort of way, and Héctor glared at it. “Well, si, you did. I saw it too. But that was a while ago. He’s not under that bell anymore either. This bell,” it said and knocked on the bell again, the loud clanging causing Héctor to grip his head in pain. “… is hollow. Empty. And is just here to waste your time.”

Tearing his hands from his head, Héctor stared wide eyed at the ball of light. “Waste my time?... What do you mean?”

“I mean you need to wake up and face reality, tonto!”

Suddenly the ball of light zipped towards him and enveloped him in a soothing warm glow, almost as if it was hugging him, and Héctor found himself being lifted towards his feet. Once he was firmly standing up the light took him by the hand and started to lead him away from the bell. He resisted a little with a slight whine, his gaze fixed back on the bell, until a sharp tug jerked him away and pulled him forward. With a huff he glared at the light leading him away, gritting his teeth when he thought he could make out a sly smirk flitting across the vague features.

He continued to look back though, watching as the bell slowly faded from view into a white void. Then he noticed that the walls started melting again. His breath hitched a little in fear, terrified that the horrible visions from before were coming back to haunt him. The light gripped his hand tighter, but in a soothing manner, and Héctor managed to find comfort in the light for the first time since he met it. It was then he noticed that the walls weren’t exactly melting, but rather… falling into place.

Windows stacked next to each other, light fixtures dotted the ceiling in a straight line, and floor tiles tumbled into place just as his feet managed to touch them. It was then he noticed the pattern of the tiles, the color of them, and the shape of the windows and other fixtures. He had been here before. It had been a long time ago, but he had been here long enough to recognize the way the hallway was set up, and what doors led to what. It was engrained into his memory.

“I don’t like this place.” Héctor whispered.

“No, I don’t either,” the light said softly. “But it’s where you need to be right now.”

They continued on at a comfortable pace down the hallway, and slowly people started to materialize in Héctor’s vision. Men and women in sterile white clothing walking past them without even noticing them. Two of them were wheeling a bed down at such a speed that Héctor barely had time to react before they barreled right through them and raced down the opposite direction. The light giggled at that, and Héctor couldn’t help but give a shaky smile himself.

But suddenly a thought came to mind that chilled him to the bone, and he looked down at the light apprehensively. “Am… Am I a ghost?”

“Hmmm… No, I wouldn’t say that. But I wouldn’t worry about that. It’ll all be over soon.”

That was when the light finally led him into one of the rooms and let go of his hand. Looking up Héctor stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw: It was him. Lying in a bed, his hands strapped tightly onto the railings and his chest rising slowly with breath. And sitting beside him… was…

“No.”

The light paused on its way to bed to turn back and look at him. “No?”

“No I-I… I can’t.” Héctor whispered, his eyes never leaving his beautiful wife’s face. “Why is she there? She… She doesn’t love me. I can’t take it anymore… It h-hurts too much.”

“I’m pretty sure she loves you. Why else would she be sitting with you? Look at her. She looks so sad.”

Héctor shook his head miserably. “She’s just waiting for me to wake up… to tell me it’s finally over. That she’s moved on… I can’t face her… I’m too tired.” He dropped to his knees and stared at the floor, all the peace he was starting to feel again being crushed by despair. “Maybe it’s for the best… That I don’t wake up at all… Ernesto’s gone. Imelda hates me… I have nothing left.”

His head hung low and tears clouding his vision, he almost didn’t see the light step towards him until he felt its warm glow cup his face gently. With a sniffle he raised his eyes its face, or what he could guess was its face, and let it wipe the tears from his cheeks. Then he watched as it raised its hand slightly above his line of sight, and then…

*THUMP*

“OW!”

Héctor reared back onto his rump and flashed a hand up to his stinging forehead, rubbing it and staring at the figure before him in shock. “Did… Did you just flick my forehead?!”

“Si.”

“Why?!

“For being an idiot.”

With a snarl he managed to get back onto his knees. “I don’t need to take that from- GGGNAK!” His head was yanked forward as the light grabbed his nose, twisted, and pulled down hard. Then with its other hand it pulled his ear as hard as it could and started to shake his head back and forth. “GAH! What are you doing?!” he screamed nasally. “Stop!”

“What do you mean don’t wake up at all?!” The lighted shouted at him, continuing its assault as Héctor’s eyes watered with pain instead of sorrow. “Where is that coming from?! ‘Riveras never give up.’ Isn’t that what you’ve always said?”

Trying to pry the figure’s hands from his face, he glared up at it. “I’m not a real Rivera… I just married one- ARGH!”

“You’ve been a Rivera a whole lot longer than you haven’t been, old man!” the light yelled back. “And you haven’t lost everything! What about your children? Coco, and your granddaughter! What about Miguel. Are you really going to leave a little boy to grow up without his father? And who’s going to greet Matty when he comes back from the war?!”

“As for your wife, she right there waiting for you to wake up! She can’t run and hide in Santa Cecilia anymore! If you have something to say to her, then you make her listen to you! Think about it, you’re sick in a hospital bed. At the very least you have pity on your side, right? But don’t give up on her so easily, cabrón!”

“All right, all right! Ow! Just let go of me already!”

With one last shove the light let go of Héctor’s head and he cradled his face in his hands, getting his breathing back under control and trying to rub away the burns and stings. He flinched as the warm hand landed back on his shoulder, but when no further violence came his way he dared to look back up.

“I know this has been hard on you.” The light said gently. “And I know that you’re scared. But even if things don’t work out for you and your wife, you shouldn’t feel the need to give up. You still have a lot to live for.”

Héctor stared at it for a few long moments, before turning back towards the bed. Towards Imelda. It was right, she did look sad. And tired. If he woke up now, maybe he could talk to her. Maybe she’d talk to him. Despite his brain trying to convince him over and over that he was done, it was his time, and there was no need to linger on, his heart wouldn’t let him. It was leading him back to her. To his family.

Just like it always had.

Damn poet.

With a heavy sigh me slowly stood up and made it to his feet, his gaze now fixed on his unconscious form on the bed. With a new determination he made his way over and paused at the edge. Do I just… lay on myself? With a short snort of laughter he did just that, and was surprised to see his leg phase through himself as he climbed onto the bed. Rolling over he laid down onto his back, stared up at the ceiling, and waited.

…..

And waited…

…..

“Uh, nothing’s happening?”

The light shrugged. “You have been sleeping for a long time, and you’re sick. It might take a while for you to actually wake up.”

Before Héctor could reply to that, he started to feel changes slowly flowing into his body. Ah, this must be it. He started to feel heavier, more solid. That itself was a comforting feeling. He settled back down onto the bed and let the sensations build up through his limbs. He stayed still like that for a few minutes, with his eyes closed, before a tinkling little laugh next to him caused him to open them.

“This is taking forever!” The light giggled. It was such a sweet sound. So pure. Where had he heard it before? “Though not surprising. Even when you were healthy it took forever to wake you up, even when I jumped on your chest in the morning and tried to pry your eyes open.”

Héctor brows furrowed in confusion. He tried to lift his head off the pillow to look at the light properly… but found that he couldn’t. Slowly the solid feeling of his body turned into a heavy burden. He was so heavy! Too heavy! I can’t move!

“W-what?... What’s hap-”

The heaviness started to form inside his chest. His breathing turned into frantic gasps as he struggled to get air into his lungs. And now his body started to hurt! His arms and legs cramped and his head started to pound. Behind his gasping he heard his heart beating loudly in his ears. This is bad! This is bad! What’s happening to me?!

Then suddenly the light was leaning over his face, and Héctor stared at it with fright. Was this it’s plan all along? To trap him in this pain filled husk and laugh at him for his foolishness? He never should have trusted it! It started to lower itself to him, and with a small whimper he clenched his eyes shut and braced himself against... What? Oblivion? Mutilation? The destruction of his very soul? Whatever it was it couldn’t be good! It couldn’t-

“And don’t worry about Tio Nesto. He’ll be all right. I won’t let him be alone.”

….

Tio Nesto?

Héctor’s eyes snapped open and he saw the light was hovering over his face. He saw that smile again grace it’s face before it leaned over and… gave him a small kiss on the forehead. It was quick and chaste, but it was so warm and sweet, and it slightly soothed the aches that were afflicting his body. It drew back again and stared at him with such love in it’s eyes, and Héctor realized with a start of the fact that he could see it’s eyes.

They were his eyes!

Her eyes.

“You feel better Papá.”

With a choked out sob, reached out towards the light- my daughter!- but found that he couldn’t. He glanced down at his hands and saw that they were strapped to the railings of his bed, and no matter how hard he shook or strained against them he could not tear them free. Sitting up was also not an option, as the thick belt across his chest prevented him from lifting even an inch.

He turned his attention back towards his little girl, but she was gone. She had left him. Again.

“Leti!” Héctor cried out, tears streaming down his face as he tried to strain against the bindings once more. “Leti, don’t go! Leti come back, please come back! Don’t leave me, mija. Please don’t leave me again! Please, please, please…”

“Calm down Héctor.” A tired voice broke through his weak sobbing, and he glanced up through watery tears as his wife ran a hand through his hair in a calming motion. She began to speak to him, numbly, as if she had been repeating the same things over and over. “It’s not real. You’re alright. None of this is really happening. She’s not here. It’s okay, Héctor.”

Héctor concentrated on his wife’s face, forcing himself to calm his seizing chest and his pounding heart. He listened to her soothing words and slowly the hysteria faded away, leaving him exhausted and light-headed. And as the minutes passed and he became more and more aware of his immediate surroundings, the visions from before slowly faded as well. What had he been dreaming about? There was a light, he remembered. And a voice. It was so familiar. But even those vague recollections of his dream faded into nothingness as well, as for the first time in over three days Héctor was finally awake and aware.

“Imelda?” Héctor whispered. “What happened?”

“…Héctor?”

#somos familia #coco #coco pixar #pixar coco #coco fanfiction #Hector Rivera #i love flicking my dad on the forehead #So Leti does too

[fulokis]

Third Time’s the Charm| A Marvel Fan Fiction

Well here is another fic, let me tell you it came to me while listening to C21 FX Blood Red Roses on repeat. Its similar to this one. So anyway have fun reading it.

Thor opened his eyes. There was nothing, blackness, darkness. He would have thought it was death if it were not for a pounding feeling in his head and the very loud ringing in his ears. He lay there on the ground in what he could only guess as burning rubble from where ever he was. Burning rubber tainted the air, smoke filled lungs and burned flesh stung the nose. 

Specks of light seeped through the dark curtain over Thor’s eyes. The god sat up head spinning. He felt the ground, there was no sign of fire anywhere near him. His vision returned slightly to normal although he sat for moments more trying to figure out what had happened...

Thanos had grabbed Thor’s head in one of his meaty hands. The purple titan had started to squeeze the Asguardian’s head. Thor screamed with pain, Thanos seeming to enjoy each second more and more as screams of agony came out of the man’s mouth. Something made Thanos laugh and then drop Thor to the ground with Thors body hitting the ground with a loud thump...

Thor looked out upon the battlefield. It may have been something that Thor was used to but this one was somehow different. Bodies, there were only a few, most of them from the army that Black Panther had brought. Destruction like no other battlefield all buildings totaled, fire consumed all organic matter and some non-organic matter as well. The landscape was ravaged, everything seemed to be part of a hellish place.

Thor was about to leave when he spotted an emerald outfit contrasted with the burned matter on the ground. Stepping gently as if not to wake any of the corpses on the ground. Kneeling next to his brother Thor gently extended one of his large hands, with his hand on Loki’s shoulder Thor tried to wake Loki up...

Loki had seen Thanos hurting Thor, and decided to act against the titan. He had walked with confidence towards the towering man, hiding his fear under a mask of pure hatred for Thanos. “Thanos let Thor go or deal with my wrath!” Thanos laughed and dropped Thor and looked at Loki with a devilish smile. He pointed a finger and one of his children came at Loki, before he could react a trident was being shoved into his stomach... 

“Brother get up, we must move, Thanos will keep destroying things if we don’t stop them.” Thor spoke with urgency as he turned Loki over. Loki had passed out his arms over a puncture wound. His emerald clothes were slowly turning a brown color like a forest from summer to fall. Loki’s hands were covered in a deep maroon. Against his pale skin it looked almost as if a black raspberry had been smeared across paper.

Thor shook Loki a little harder. Loki made some grunting noises but he didn’t respond in the way Thor wanted him to. That resulted in Thor shaking him harder, “Brother stop your illusions it is time to leave.”...

Loki made a choking noise as the trident was yanked from his stomach, fear replaced his look of confidence. He tried to catch his breath as he fell to his knees clutching the wounds with his hands frantically trying to stop the bleeding. He watched as the order walked off leaving him in the dust, dying and alone...

Loki opened his eyes, the deep green of them seemed to have glazed over, becoming almost gray. He looked around slightly with a confused look on his face. “B-B-Brother?” he croaked. 

Thor stood up dusting some of the ash off of his knees. “Come on Loki let us move.”

Loki had tears in his eyes, he swallowed trying to muster the strength to speak. “N-N-N-No, I-I-I c-can’t”. 

“Oh please stop the illusions Loki, I know you are not really dying so get up and come with me.”...

Shaking Loki started to slowly work his way to the body of his brother on the ground. He was losing blood, leaving a trail behind him in the ash. Each time one of his knees moved a little farther along the pavement he winced at the pain in his stomach. He had made it about half way to his brother when his body collapsed...

Thor started to walk forward towards Thanos. Loki struggled to sit up, his side was bleeding slowly but the blood was still coming out of his wound. He screamed in agony, causing Thor to turn slightly. “Brother we don’t have all day.”

Loki’s labored breath cut into his words “I c_n’t. Th_r w_y c_n’t you understand”

“You are not dying I know your not now get up.”

Thor was devastated, Loki had thrown himself off the bifrost. He didn’t know how he felt about it, his brother weather he was adopted was still his brother. Thor couldn’t comprehend why Loki had done it, he was confused, and broken. He had lost more than one person on that day, although he would give anything just to have his brother back...

Loki had managed to turn himself over onto his side. He had one of his arms trying to support the rest of his weight. He had almost pulled himself up slightly when his arm buckled underneath the pain. A tear slipped down his cheek and landed in the dirt beside drops of blood from his side.

“Loki I grow tired of waiting. Hurry.”

Loki worked harder managing to sit up slightly sweat beading on his forehead...

Thor had refused that Loki was dead at first. But slowly over time he knew it was impossible for Loki to have survived this one. The wound was too deadly and the chances of living were too slim. His heart felt like it had been shattered and was still missing pieces. Some of those pieces belonging to his brother...

Loki had managed to get himself on his feet using a piece of scrap metal that was near by. He looked worse than he ever had, his face a ghostly white, normally curly and chaotic hair was flat and stuck to his face. The sweat on his face shined like a lake on a summers day. His clothes were turning brown, and wet, from all the blood he was losing.

“Come on brother.” Thor said barely looking back.

“Thor.....P-P-Please.” The tone in the gods voice made Thor stop in his tracks...

It had been a normal day in Asgaurd, school and then time to explore around the palace. Thor and Loki always loved to go swim in the river. That day the current was strong. Loki and Thor went out to where they normally would. Thor stayed where he was but the current started to sweep Loki away. Thor stayed there watching as Loki struggled against the current, he was cheering his brother on until a slightly garbled “Thor, Please”. Thor started swimming immediately towards his brother. He couldn’t lose his brother. Thor managed to get Loki onto shore, both of them coughing and sputtering. But Thor had managed to save his brother and he was proud of that...

Thor turned and ran catching Loki as he collapsed. Loki looked at his brother, what water was left in Loki’s body fell as tears. The two brothers sat in silence together. Loki’s breath started to become labored as his body was ready to let go.

“Brother...” Loki tried, “...t-tell... odin... Im ... sorry... and .... that ... I ...loved ... him... i ...loved ...you... all....”

Loki started to cough violently, blood coming up as each hack racked his body. The coughing subsided soon enough replaced by the cold stillness of death. The body in Thor’s arms felt cold and foreign, all the life and weight sucked out of it. His eyes had gone from having a brilliant glimmer when ever he thought of trouble to one of frosted glass.

Thor sat there with the lifeless body of his brother, feeling numb. He could have saved him, if only he had listened. He never even got to tell Loki that he loved him, or the million things he was sorry for. That chance had passed, secrets no longer to be shared between the siblings. No words of hatred covering their own self hatred between them to ever be shared again. No laughs, or memories to be looked back upon.

This was it the parting of ways, it felt odd to Thor. How many times had he been tricked with such a thing for Loki just to come back stronger than ever before? It didn’t feel right. His brother had to be out there somewhere getting into trouble waiting for Thor to come find him. But something in the universe had changed, something that had stayed the same the first two times Loki had “died”. Thor looked up he knew what it was. Placing the body down he stood, sighing he started to walk towards the horizon, a new found energy to defeat Thanos.

The stars above twinkled above the battle, each one different. Tonight a new one joined them, one with a seemingly emerald glint to it. The star smiled from the heavens as Thor moved ahead to save Midgard and the rest of the universe. 

#fanfiction #infinity war #loki #thor

[sicklylittlesnowflake]

Hi, I'm the same person that send you the sick Bones request (it was great!) and I had another idea... I really like the idea of Bones losing his voice, he's always shouting and making sarcastic comments. Kirk making fun of him before realising how ill and miserable his CMO is and forcing him to rest. Thank you, you're awesome!

(Hey anon! I’m so glad you liked your first fic, and this came in the inbox great timing as I just rewatched all three of the JJ Abrams ST movies and I’m in the mood for some Star Trek! I’ve completely forgotten how much I love these characters, and if anyone wants any more ST, hit up the ask!! ^^ also so sorry I’m taking so long with prompts!! Im currently busy with acting things, so I haven’t had the time!!)

The five year mission had been quite slow the past month, and Bones had been relaxed, doing nothing but performing random experiments on new plants and other resources they had found on their expedition.

However one day, a bunch of the crew had been rushed in with injuries, apparently upsetting some species because of some culture thing they weren’t aware of.

It had been hectic, a shock to his system of idleness, and suddenly being thrown into a high stake, stressful situation.

A huge wave of bleeding bodies and broken bones came in, the whole situation distressing. While Bones didn’t like to be too prideful, it was nothing he couldn’t handle. Of course, he had his trusty crew with him.

However, Bones was a human, who got stressed. And lost his temper.

“YOU! What’s so interesting about the ceiling? Does the ceiling have a broken bone?! Well, does it?! No? Well this man over here does, so get your ass over here!”

“Get me the hypospray–no, no dear, that is not a hypospray! This isn’t a guessing game!”

“Oh my god, look at that supreme speed right there, wow, have you seen anyone move with such agility? Hurry up and get me the damn hypospray!!”

Sarcastic comments were also not an odd occurrence for the doctor.

“Doctor McCoy, he appears to be bleeding..”

“OH REALLY?! I was wondering what this sorcery leaking out of his skin was..bleeding you say?! What is this alien process?! How fascinating!”

“Doctor McCoy, this person has a broken arm,”

“That’s great! How about we go dance around it and worship it!”

“Doctor McCoy, this guy has a small cut on their–”

“Welp, they’re gone. What a tragedy. They’re dead. Rest in peace, what a fine life they lead.”

Needless to say, at the end of the day, McCoy was exhausted.

He was suffering from a splitting headache from overworking and stressing, felt weak to the bones (a pun Kirk would make, and he’d yell at him) and his voice was beginning to go.

Just before the end of the day, he received a message from the captain.

“Bones, my dearest friend, how’s everything going down there? Is my crew still alive?” Kirk chirped, knowing fully that there wasn’t anything too serious happening, and even if there was, his doctor was more than capable of making things okay again. He had much faith in their CMO, even if he would never say it to his face.

Bones rolled his eyes, groaning, “No Jimmy boy, you’ve managed to kill them all this time. I’m surprised they’ve lasted this long anyway, I’ve already prepared the funeral arrangements.”

He groaned louder and flopped on his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose, “No, they’re fine, Jim!! Of course they’re fine, I’ve managed to bring you back from the dead, so of course a few broken bones can be healed!”

He could practically hear the captain raising his eyebrow.

“You said I was barely dead..”

“Oh, shut up!” Bones groaned fondly, and turned off the message.

From up at the bridge, Captain Kirk burst into laughter, slapping his knee and all sorts. He stretched on his chair, and yawned, “Well, let’s call it a day folks, tomorrows another day. We’ll see you all tomorrow.”

Gradually, the people on the bridge began to clear out, leaving Pavel Chekov to himself, looking rather worried.

Many of the crew, including Spock and Bones, had developed a slight parental instinct towards their youngest throughout the years. So naturally, when Kirk spotted the teen unmoving and worried he approached him, giving his hair a little shake.

“What’s up, Pasha?”

Chekov blinked, a little startled and smiled sheepishly, “I’m sorry Keptin’–it’s just zat..Ze Doctor seemed wery..his voice was wery hoarse..I wonder if he is becoming ill?”

Kirk blinked, not even realising how hoarse Bones had sounded until Chekov had pointed it out. The kid was really good at detecting and analysing things; and he wasn’t even sure why he was surprised when he was the youngest ever to be put on the enterprise.

He smiled softly,  giving the teen a pat on the back, “Doctor McCoy will be just fine. He always does, he’s..really a trooper. C'mon Pav, it’s been a long day, go and get some rest.”

The Russian nodded, and got up to leave but still wasn’t so sure.

“Doktor?” Chekov’s voice rang out, waking Bones from his half nap. By half nap, he meant that he was half asleep, not quite asleep and not quite awake.

“Mr.Chekov, I swear to god if you’ve broken anything..”

“No! I just..I brought you some tea,” Chekov said shyly, holding the steaming mug in front of him, looking far too adorable for it to be legal.

Bones’s heart burst with the sight before him, wanting to hug the boy for all of eternity but he could not let him know that he was a massive softie. No way.

“Is this your thing, now, kid? Givin’ up your boy genius thing to become a professional..tea guy?”

Chekov blinked, not knowing what to say.

Bones softened, “I’m joking, kid. I appreciate all this, it’s really sweet and all.”

Chekov’s face lit up with a bright, cheerful smile that made Bones momentarily forget about his splitting headache.

“It’s just zat you sounded sick on the message just there–I waz worried, iz all..Doktor, you must rest..”

Bones rolled his eyes at the kid fondly, “I’ll be fine, Mr Chekov. You should too, I promise I’ll head to my quarters too, in just a bit.”

Chekov frowned and crossed his arms, “Last time we had zis conversation you didn’t. It is now my duty to ensure zat you do.”

Bones groaned and huffed, unable to say no to this actual marshmallow fluff child and then got up, “Fine, lets go.”

Chekov’s frown disappeared and instantly resumed the cheery smile as the two walked out, with the Russian whiz kid dropping him off at his quarters. Much to Bones’s disapproval of course, he did not like being treated like a child.

The last time Bones had gotten sick, he had lied to Chekov and didn’t rest like he said he would. So naturally, when Bones actually did, he expected he wouldn’t be sick like the last time.

But of course, he was sick anyway.

Bones walked into the Medbay hacking, coughing his lungs out onto his sleeve. He felt awful, like he was about to collapse into a million pieces and that any second from now, his legs would betray him.

However, he would use his remaining time before his inevitable collapse to look after the patients from yesterday, who needed follow-up treatment and checkups.

The moment Nurse Chapel laid her eyes on Bones, she was off in a hurry, strutting away to send a message to the bridge. She didn’t even attempt to reason with the doctor, knowing full well how annoying and stubborn the man was, and that he’d never in a thousand years listen to her.

There were 3 people Leonard McCoy would give in to, Nyota Uhura, James Tiberius Kirk and Pavel Chekov, all three of which were at the bridge, and she knew at least one of them would come down and deal with this for her. She could not afford to waste time dragging him away!

Just as Bones continued to cough his way through the medbay, through examinations–to which the injured patients were more worried about him than their own injuries–James Kirk decided to make his presence known.

“Goooood morning Medbay! I have learned that your very own CMO sounds like a dying cat on acid at this very moment, and I am here to witness such an event!” He quipped as he strutted in, looking around for Bones.

It didn’t take him long to spot the doctor, and before he could even come 5 feet to him Bones hissed, quite literally like a cat.

Kirk blinked, “Woah shit, the cat on acid is still alive!”

“James, if you come any closer to me I will actually end your life,” Bones said harshly, although there was no real threat to his words. At least that’s what Kirk thought anyway, because he was more focused on how scratchy and hoarse Bones sounded.

“Oh, I will actually end your life,” Kirk mimicked in a silly, raspy voice to mock Bones.

Bones groaned loudly and continued to scan a patients wounds from yesterday, the patient looking awfully terrified of Bones, afraid he would snap and murder someone.

“What’re you gonna do anyway?” Kirk laughed, “Croak me to death? The sound of your nails on a chalkboard voice rupturing my eardrum as I die a long, painful death?”

Bones whipped around to face him for the first time, glaring daggers, “I will, James, watch me. In fact, I really want to right now.”

Upon seeing the doctor’s face, Kirk felt a sudden change in mood. He looked awful, pale, with dark bags hollowing his eyes. In fact, Kirk was beginning to feel a bit bad for being a shit. Bones must’ve felt horrible.

“Woah–uh, you can do that dude, but uh, after you go get rest and stuff. That is why I’m actually here–”

Kirk was cut off by a sudden harsh fit coming from Bones, as the doctor abruptly pulled away from the patient and turned away from both of them, coughing harshly into his fist. Kirk winced at the awfully chesty and painful sounding coughs, watching as his friend convulsed and shaken by the coughs. His entire frame was racked by them, and in fact, it looked like he could no longer support himself and was about to succumb to the illness and faint.

Kirk was at his side in an instant, wrapping a strong, caring arm around the doctor so he wouldn’t fall, steadying his entire frame. He lightly and gently patted his friend’s back, to help with the release of his coughs.

When Bones finished, he was gasping for air, taking a hot minute to recover himself and regain his breathing. Kirk sighed and gave Bones a pat on the shoulder.

“We’re out of here, you can’t be working now. Jesus, I should’ve listened to Pav last night..I know he got you tea and stuff and he got you to rest, but the kid’s too soft. He can’t force you like I can, his hearts too pure for that. I however can fight you tooth and nail,” Kirk smirked.

“You know what else I can do? Take care of you! Not that Pav can’t do that, it’s just his immune system isn’t the greatest and we need our navigator!”

Bones groaned, “You are not taking care of me, Jim! I will not allow it!”

“Who’s the captain here, hmm?” Kirk challenged, raising an eyebrow as he began to walk the doctor back to his quarters.

To his surprise, Bones didn’t say a word, and the journey there was quiet.

When they finally reached their destination, Bones slowly collapsed onto his bed. He instantaneously pulled his covers up and closed his eyes, face scrunching in a headache. Jim frowned at the sight, he looked so weak and sick. He wished he had realised earlier.

“..Ya really are sick, aren’t you?”

Bones opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

Jim widened his eyes, “Shit, should I get Chapel–”

Bones shook his head and took out his PADD, typing out,

“It’s fine. It will come back as I recover. Don’t worry about it.”

Jim relaxed, and gave him a smirk, “Y'know what? I really like this! You not talking..it’s so peaceful..OW!” He pouted as he rubbed the spot on his arm that had been whacked  by the PADD.

Jim glared, “It makes you more violent than usual though.”

Bones typed out: “You don’t have to take care of me, you know.”

Jim rolled his eyes fondly, “Well I am, to show how great I am.”

Bones typed out, “You’ll get sick.”

Jim laughed heartily, “I don’t get sick!”

Bones rolled his eyes and sighed, watching as Jim walked around to find and watch some kind of programme to keep them both occupied, enjoying this company with his best friend. He felt awful all over, and he couldn’t even shout at Jim (one of life’s greatest pleasures), but he felt happy like this, in silent company.

#bones mccoy #leonard mccoy #jim kirk #james t. kirk #star trek #sickfic #prompts #can u tell i love chekov #callin myself out because i always write chekov with tea #im so sorry this took 10000000000000 years

[prynnehesters]

legit everyone who lives in my house disappeared. 

there are 5 ppl who live in my area currently. my roommate has gone home and so have the 2 ppl who live on the other side. two of my neighbors moved into fancy housing, and one is basically there all the time. this area feels hella abandoned and i feel like i dont see people that often, but whatever.

so, there’s one guy who keeps going between here and his parents’ house and it’s fucking awful. he turns the heat up really high all the time. also he came here hacking and coughing hella. and im like...why do you come here and scare me like that....what the fuck is your deal? also he said he was at the doctor’s for a few days.....why

why

go back

i dont trust him ever

everyone else is dead