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nordleuchten · 1 year

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24 Days of La Fayette: December 20th – Louis-Saint-Ange, chevalier Morel de La Colombe

Although it is not any longer December, we are going to finish this series – just a month or two delayed. :-)

Louis-Saint-Ange, chevalier Morel de La Colombe is one of La Fayette’s more prominent aide-de-camps and he was also one of his initial fours aide-de-camps (the other ones being Brice, Virgny and Gimat, all three of them were already covered in posts) and a passenger on La Victoire. Among all of La Fayette’s other aide-de-camps and travel companions, La Colombe had the most interesting motivation. He was not seeking glory, fame or fortune, he was not put at La Fayette’s side by chance or French or American agents. In short, he had no ulterior motives beside being with La Fayette. This is also evident in the agreement between the French adventures and Silas Deane.

Idzerda Stanley J. et al., editors, Lafayette in the Age of the American Revolution: Selected Letters and Papers, 1776–1790, Volume 1, December 7, 1776–March 30, 1778, Cornell University Press, 1977, p. 18.

As we can see, La Colombe only ever desired to be made a Lieutenant, a, comparatively speaking, low rank. La Colombe was born in 1755 in the Auvergne, the same region that La Fayette hailed form and his family could easily rival those of La Fayette’s in terms of influence and means in the area. He was the son of Jean-Claude de La Colombe. The two families were closely connected and La Fayette and La Colombe were friends. In fact, La Fayette considered him the worthiest of his companions and called him his “best friend”. Despite his moderate demands, Congress was not very forthcoming with La Colomb’s commission – nor with that of anyone else, as we all know, even La Fayette had to fight for his commission and even more so for his commission to be taken seriously.

La Colombe was most likely in the group that travelled by water to Charleston and from there to Philadelphia. For the first months after his arrival, very little mind was paid to La Colombe’s case from official side. La Fayette wrote on September 25, 1777 to Henry Laurens:

The bearer of my letter [La Colombe] is a genteleman who came with me upon my assurance that he would be employed. He is of a very good birth, and a sensible young man. He wants only a commission of lieutenant, and General Canaouay is desirous of having him in his brigade. As Congress did not comprehend him in sending back the others I hope that he will be received in our service. Will you be so good to speack about it when you') find some occasions?

The Marquis continued to petition Laurens on La Colombe’s behalf and he also wrote to George Washington on October 14, 1777:

among the officers who came on board of my ship, this whom Congress did pay the less regard to, is the very same whom I recommended as the most able and respectable man and my best friend—he was coming only for me (…)

“To George Washington from Major General Lafayette, 14 October 1777,” Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Papers of George Washington, Revolutionary War Series, vol. 11, 19 August 1777 – 25 October 1777, ed. Philander D. Chase and Edward G. Lengel. Charlottesville: University Press of Virginia, 2001, pp. 505–508.] (02/10/2023)

It was around that time that finally some movement in La Colombe’s case could be observed. On September 10, 1777, Congress recognized his rank as a Lieutenant (and his work he had done for La Fayette since his arrival) by paying him 243 Continental Dollar as his pay as a Lieutenant from December 1, 1776 until September 1, 1777. On November 15, 1777 he was commissioned an aide-de-camp to La Fayette with the rank of Captain. La Fayette himself wrote a note of thanks to Henry Laurens on November 29, 1777:

All the letters I receive from frenchmen are full of theyr gratefulness for your own particular kindness towards them. Will you be so good as to accept my thanks for them and for myself, and to join here my sincere ones on account of the appointement of Mr. de Ia Colombe?

The next months passed relatively uneventful and La Colombe dutifully continued his service. There was only one more interesting episode during this time when La Colombe was send to negotiate with the Natives. La Fayette wrote to Charles Lee in June 1778:

Mr. de Fai'lly, de La Colombe See. are now going with Gal. MgKintosh, where theyr presence among the indians is of a great Service, but they’ll come again and we must provide for them or such others as may come from France

Idzerda Stanley J. et al., editors, Lafayette in the Age of the American Revolution: Selected Letters and Papers, 1776–1790, Volume 2, April 10, 1778–March 20, 1780, Cornell University Press, 1978, pp. 62-64.

Shortly before La Fayette returned to France for the first time, La Colombe desired to be made a Major and La Fayette was eager to lend a helping hand. He wrote to the President of Congress on January 9, 1779:

May I beg leave to Reccommend Mr. de La Colombe who desires to sollicit the commission of Major.

At first, La Colombe’s prospects seemed very good, the Committee for Foreign Applications was in favour of his promotion but he eventually failed to gain the nine votes in the Continental Congress required. Very interesting in this context are two letters between Alexander Hamilton and John Jay, whom, as President of Congress, La Fayette had previously petitioned. Jay wrote on September 18, 1779:

The Board of War are charged with Chevalier de Colombes affair, and will probably report in his favor; for my own Part I have ever been averse to giving Brevets except in very particular Cases; it cheapens us.

“To Alexander Hamilton from John Jay, 18 September 1779,” Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Papers of Alexander Hamilton, vol. 2, 1779–1781, ed. Harold C. Syrett. New York: Columbia University Press, 1961, pp. 182–183.] (02/10/2023)

Hamilton replied on September 29, 1779:

I shall not be sorry if Colombe fails in his application. My sentiments correspond with yours on the operation of brevets; but we began wrong and the transition must be gradual.

“From Alexander Hamilton to John Jay, [29 September 1779],” Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Papers of Alexander Hamilton, vol. 2, 1779–1781, ed. Harold C. Syrett. New York: Columbia University Press, 1961, pp. 189–192.] (02/10/2023)

In the meantime, La Fayette had returned to France and believed that several of his aides, La Colombe among them, would follow shortly after. He wrote to the Comte de Vergennes on May 23, 1779:

Any day I expect three Americans and a Frenchman who would be of the greatest use to us, and I enclose their names so that M. de Sartine may send word to all the ports to urge them, upon their arrival, to come and see me at Saintes.

When the party did not arrive for several more weeks, La Fayette started to assume the worst. He wrote to George Washington on June 12, 1779:

I don't know what is Become of Cle[l]. Nevill and the Cher, de La Colombe. I beg you would make some inquiries for them, and do any thing in your power for theyr speedy exchange in case they have been taken.

In the end, the matter was not quite that dramatic and as it turned out, La Colombe and the others had never intended to immediately follow La Fayette. La Colombe in fact was transferred to the staff of the Baron de Kalb and served him as an aide-de-camp for some time. He eventually left Boston for France on November 15, 1779 onboard the French Frigate La Sensible, the same ship that also carried John Adams and John Quincy Adams. La Colombe and John Qunicy Adams would indeed meet again later in life. On July 8, 1794, John Quincy Adams wrote to his mother Abigail Admas:

I have likewise seen a Mr: Colomb, an aid to Mr De la Fayette; who went to Europe in 1779 with us on board the Sensible. “tempora mutantur et nos mutamur in illis.” Mr: Colomb and I sat and conversed very sociably together for half an hour before either of us discovered that we had been formerly acquainted, and fellow passengers.

“John Quincy Adams to Abigail Adams, 8 July 1794,” Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Adams Papers, Adams Family Correspondence, vol. 10, January 1794 – June 1795, ed. Margaret A. Hogan, C. James Taylor, Sara Martin, Hobson Woodward, Sara B. Sikes, Gregg L. Lint, and Sara Georgini. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2011, p. 207.] (02/10/2023)

But back to the topic at hand. Washington wrote to La Fayette on September 30, 1779:

You enquire after Monsr. de la Colombe, & Colo. Neville; the first (who has been with Baron de Kalb) left this a few days ago as I have already observed for Phila., in expectation of a passage with Monsr. Gerard.

De Kalb wrote on October 15, 1779 to John Adams:

The Chevr. de la Colombe having been in Marquess de la Fayette’s family while he Staid in our army, and a Supernumerary aid de Camp to me this Campaign, But his father desiring him to come home, I request the Favour of you to admit as a Passenger into the Same Frigate you are to Sail in.

“To John Adams from Johann Kalb, 15 October 1779,” Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Adams Papers, Papers of John Adams, vol. 8, March 1779 – February 1780, ed. Gregg L. Lint, Robert J. Taylor, Richard Alan Reyerson, Celeste Walker, and Joanna M. Revelas. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1989, pp. 202–203.] (02/10/2023)

While in France, La Colombe transferred back to the French Forces under General Rochambeau. In the spring of 1780 and with the help of La Fayette, La Colombe was made a Captain in the King’s Dragoons. He returned to America in early September of 1780 onboard the Alliance and participated in the battle at Yorktown. After Yorktown, he returned to France with La Fayette where he retired from the King’s Dragoons in 1783.

By March 9, 1784, La Fayette included La Colombe’s name in an enclosed list of “Names of the American officers wearing now in France the badge of the society of the Cincinnati” in a letter to George Washington.

After the onset of the French Revolution, he again entered the military and became the colonel of an infantry regiment in 1791 before he once more took up working as La Fayette’s aide-de-camp in 1792. La Fayette’s wife Adrienne wrote on January 14, 1790:

The Chr de la Colombe who has had the honour of serving under your orders, and whose patriotism and sentiments for Mr De la Fayette have rendered eminent services to our cause as well in his province as in the parisien Army, in which he is Aid-Major, having known that I had the honour of writing to you wishes that I offer to you his best respects.

“To George Washington from the Marquise de Lafayette, 14 January 1790,” Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Papers of George Washington, Presidential Series, vol. 4, 8 September 1789 – 15 January 1790, ed. Dorothy Twohig. Charlottesville: University Press of Virginia, 1993, pp. 571–574.] (02/10/2023)

When La Fayette tried to leave France for America during the French Revolution, La Colombe was by his side and arrested along with him. While La Fayette would have to endure imprisonment for several years, La Colombe quickly regained his freedom. William Short wrote to Thomas Jefferson on October 19, 1792:

M. de la Colombe, aide de camp to the Marquis de la fayette, and stopped with him, has made his escape from the citadel of Antwerp—he wrote to me from Rotterdam to know whether he would be safe in this country—I did not suppose he would be if demanded by the Austrian government and gave him that opinion—he proceeded in consequence without delay to England.

“To Thomas Jefferson from William Short, 19 October 1792,” Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Papers of Thomas Jefferson, vol. 24, 1 June–31 December 1792, ed. John Catanzariti. Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1990, pp. 502–504.] (02/10/2023)

I have seen some editors mention that La Colombe was imprisoned with La Fayette in Olmütz but that can hardly be, given the timing of events. There was a considerable back and forth between Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Pinckney (U.S. minister at London) and Edmund Randolph (Secretary of State) about some possible funds for La Colombe and the practicability of him coming to America. He eventually settled in Philadelphia in 1794 where he became a member of the Philadelphia mercantile firm of La Colombe Cadignan & Company, located at 97 South Water Street.

Once safe in America, La Colome started writing letters to garner support and practical aide for La Fayette.

Edmund Randolph wrote to George Washington on May 15, 1794:

If I do not mistake the hints from Mr Lacolombe, these letters are submitted to you, in order to interest you in making, or causing to be made, a demand of M. La Fayette, as a citizen of the United States. I presume, however, that the step, which you have already taken, will be found to be a satisfactory tribute of personal affection, and, altho’ not more than public duty warranted, yet as much, as actual circumstances will permit.

“To George Washington from Edmund Randolph, 15 May 1794,” Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Papers of George Washington, Presidential Series, vol. 16, 1 May–30 September 1794, ed. David R. Hoth and Carol S. Ebel. Charlottesville: University of Virginia Press, 2011, pp. 76–77.] (02/10/2023)

Several of the letters mentioned in the excerpt above were in fact addressed to La Colombe. When La Fayette’s son Georges came to America in the company of Felix Frestel, he likely stayed some time with La Colombe in Philadelphia – in any case, the two of them met. On November 21, 1797 La Colombe wrote to Washington, after having stayed at Mount Vernon in October of the same year:

I take the liberty of presenting you with a short abstract of a letter that may afford you a proof that the man for whose wellfare you have allways had the warmest interest in, General De Lafayette has at last obtained his liberty—as is ascertained by an official note from his Imperial Majesty’s minister, M. ⟨Biro⟩ resident at Hambourg, to a friend of mine Mr Masson formerly his aid du Camp.

“Hambourg 19th Septemr—I have the honor to let you know Sir, that I have received at this moment the official note—an order has been sent from Vienna to Olmutz to set at liberty instantly M. De Lafayette & the other Prisoners.” Several other letters that I have received from Hambourg, and from a particular Correspondent at Olmutz leave me no reason of doubt on this subject—I’m also particularly inform’d that the General & the other gentlemen that were in confinement with him were on the road to Dre[s]den and in all probability would arrive there about the 18th Septemr last, and from thence they were to proceed to Hambourg

“To George Washington from Louis La Colombe, 21 November 1797,” Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Papers of George Washington, Retirement Series, vol. 1, 4 March 1797 – 30 December 1797, ed. W. W. Abbot. Charlottesville: University Press of Virginia, 1998, pp. 479–480.] (02/10/2023)

After helping with the travelling arrangements of Georges, he wrote January 5, 1798:

I have had news of all my Esteem’d friends who were confined in the austrian Bastilles. (…) I am happy sir, to have the honor of forwarding to you the enclosed letter from our mutual Friend Genl De Lafayette whose greatest happiness I’m well assured, was to avail himself the pleasure to write you on the first moment of enjoying his liberty—I took the liberty of sending him a Copy of your letter to me of 3d Decr last, It will be pleasing to him as it may afford a renewed proof of the Paternal sentiments you have for him (…)

“To George Washington from Louis La Colombe, 5 January 1798,” Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Papers of George Washington, Retirement Series, vol. 2, 2 January 1798 – 15 September 1798, ed. W. W. Abbot. Charlottesville: University Press of Virginia, 1998, p. 4.] (02/10/2023)

La Colombe died in America around 1800, the exact date is unknown. With the exception of one short trip, he had never returned to France, nor did he ever see La Fayette again.

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beyondthesefourwalls · 9 months

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This Love Came Back to Me (7)

Summary: You and Bradley hadn’t ended on bad terms; really, you stopped before the two of you could even truly begin. Still, in the last seven months, you had never completely left his mind. So when you suddenly appeared in front of him at the bar, asking for a favor and pulling him into a kiss, he thought maybe it was the perfect opportunity to see if this time, things could be different. But what neither of you realized was that there’s more going on than just rekindling a lost romance, and it might not be as easy as simply just wanting it.

Pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x Reader (no use of y/n)

Warnings: second chance romance, language, allusions of smut and potential full smut, stalking, unhealthy obsessions, delusions of feelings, unwanted attention.

Part Seven Word Count: 5.1K

Part Six :: Series Masterlist

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You were slow to get up on Monday morning. Your body was reluctant to move from beneath the covers, your mind even more so. The dread of the week ahead had already settled in your stomach before your eyes had even fluttered open.

Something told you that it was going to be a bad day, and as you got ready for work, that thought grew stronger and stronger. You had used the wrong moisturizer, and then had gotten toothpaste on your black blouse and had to change. You spilled your favorite hard-to-find coffee creamer, and to top it off, you couldn’t find your favorite necklace that you wore more often than you didn’t. You were almost positive you had put it on the jewelry plate on your dresser last night like you always did, but it was nowhere to be found this morning. A quick check behind the dresser and in the drawers proved no luck, and it wasn’t on your bathroom counter, either. You wondered if maybe you had left it at Bradley’s on accident, but you swore you had been wearing it when you came home.

Nerves prickled at your skin once you left your house, growing steadily the closer you got to the office. You prolonged going in for as long as you could, sitting in the car until the very last minute before you forced yourself inside and up the elevator. You breathed a sigh of relief when you noticed you were the last one to make it in and everyone else was already focused on what they were doing. You don’t bother with any pleasantries as you start toward your desk - your very flower and coffee free desk, as it was.

As you did every morning, you checked your calendar to remind yourself what was on the agenda for the day. You swallowed thickly when you noticed a calendar invite with your boss that definitely hadn’t been there when you left on Friday. Glancing down at the clock in the corner of your screen, you cursed under your breath and shot to your feet.

You paused outside of Gretchen’s door once you got to it, taking a second to catch your breath from your mad dash from your desk before knocking. Her voice was clipped when she told you to come in.

“Good morning,” you greeted, forcing as much chipperness into your tone as possible. Your boss didn’t have the same courtesy and barely looked up from her computer screen.

“I need you to pick up the Randolph and Jackson accounts while Deana is out the next few weeks. There should be notes in her files. I need some preliminary drafts to present to them by the end of the day.”

Anxiety formed in your stomach at having something else thrown on your already very full plate. You truly were at capacity with your workload. Normally, you would grin and bear it. But you had stopped interpreting her giving you more as her trusting you a while ago. You knew it was just a power play and too high blind expectations to follow it on her part.

“Am I being partnered with someone on this?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Like who?”

“Lauren? Or maybe Joey, or Shante?” you listed off anyone you could think of. The clicking of Gretchen’s keyboard halted as she stopped typing, finally looking up at you from her spot behind the cluttered desk. She raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

“Can you not handle the extra work?”

“Well, I-”

“I was going to partner you with Paul,” she said, and the stress you were feeling deepened, your skin crawling at even the thought. “But because of the open HR investigation you insisted upon, I was advised against it. So unless you want to drop that, you’ll be handling these solos. You wanted more responsibility anyway, didn’t you?”

It took all of your willpower not to flinch. She didn’t bother trying to hide her opinion on the matter, her words laced with disdain and sarcasm. You felt scolded and embarrassed at how she was blatantly judging you, and feeling that way in turn made you angry, too. You had no reason to feel those things - you had done nothing wrong, here. You remembered what Bradley had told you. He was insistent that this wasn’t your fault. Deep down you knew he was right, even if it took you some time to reach him there. You knew that it wasn’t fair that you were being looked at and spoken to this way, by your boss, nonetheless.

You breathed in deeply, silently centering yourself. You didn’t like confrontation, but you hated being belittled even more. You cleared your throat and stood a little bit taller, squaring your shoulders.

“I won’t be dropping it.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, and you’d be blind not to see the challenge written all over her face. You couldn’t believe that once upon a time, when you first started at this company, you admired this woman.

“I’m positive,” you stated. You were so glad that your voice didn’t shake, because you were trembling on the inside. You continued on before you lost your nerve, the words rushing out of you once they started. “It was within my rights just like it would be within anyone else’s. So I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t ask me things like that, or imply that I’m being punished for standing up for myself by forcing me to handle the work of an additional person on my own, when I'm already doing the work of two people on a regular basis. That’s retaliation. And it’s not okay, nor is it fair.”

Gretchen’s expression was one of surprise, no doubt shocked at the backbone you had suddenly grown in response to her. She wasn’t used to people questioning her authority, or anything that she did, really. You hadn’t seen a single person challenge or talk back to her the whole time you’ve worked together. You were probably the last one she expected to break the streak, but god, you were so damn tired.

“Well then,” her voice dripped in sarcasm when she finally spoke, “I see someone paid attention to the policies in the employee handbook.”

“It’s not a policy,” you corrected without skipping a beat, “It’s a law.”

She stared at you for a long, tense moment. Slowly, you watched as her face morphed into something colder. Her lips curled into a sneer and her hazel eyes narrowed. Her thin arms folded over her chest as she leant back in her chair. But you refused to squirm under her glare, instead meeting it head on.

Gretchen was the first to cave, whether it be because she sensed you weren’t going to or because she knew she was in the wrong. You weren’t sure, and frankly, you didn’t care.

Her blonde hair swayed when she shook her head in your direction, a poorly contained scoff leaving her mouth as she returned her attention to the computer screen, resuming the typing she was doing before you got here. “I expect the information needed for the Randolph account on my desk by the end of the day,” she said, “I’ll have someone else work on Jackson. Get to work, and shut my door on the way out.”

There’s more you could have said - more that you wanted to say. But you knew a dismissal when you heard one, and you had pushed the boundaries further than you ever had before. And truthfully, you were desperate to be out of her presence. You spun on your heel and left her office without another word. In a split second show of defiance, you didn’t close the door all the way like she had requested. You heard her call after you, but you kept walking.

Oh my God, you thought. You couldn’t believe you had just done that.

You glanced at your phone when you got back to your desk and saw a text waiting for you. Based on the timestamp, it must have arrived shortly after you had shot up to go to the last minute meeting.

Bradley🐓✈️❤️:Going up in the air soon. How’s work?

Your hands shook as you typed out a message in return. The adrenaline from your anger still pulsed in your veins, but you could feel yourself coming down from it, your nerves starting to buzz under your skin instead.

Cross your fingers that I get responses on applications this week, because I might be getting fired.

To your surprise, the dots that indicated Bradley started typing back popped up almost immediately. You breathed a sigh of relief that he still had his phone on him, because you needed some sort of interaction right now that wasn’t from people in this office.

Bradley🐓✈️❤️:What?

You gave him the short version of your interaction as a headache started forming at your temples. You dug around in your bag until you found the bottle of ibuprofen you kept there, swallowing the pills down quickly with a sip of your coffee.

Bradley🐓✈️❤️:That’s my girl. I’m proud of you, baby.

You had a tendency to cry when you were angry, something you hated because it made you feel weak, and combined with the stress and the sweetness of the words, you weren’t all that surprised when you felt the tears prick the back of your eyes. You took a deep breath and chewed your bottom lip, fighting to keep them at bay.

You were at your desk in the middle of the office and you refused to let these people see you cry.

You tried to think of something to say in return. Three words flashed in your mind, your fingers itching to type them for the briefest of moments before you push them away. You didn’t think you could handle trying to figure out those emotions right now. You must have taken too long, because your boyfriend was sending another message before you could reply at all.

Bradley🐓✈️❤️: Heading up now. Don’t worry about work. None of those people are worth it.

It was exactly what you needed to be told in that moment, and your heart swelled for this man. You wished you were with him now.

Let me know when you’re safely back on planet earth, please. Fly safe, aviator❤️

____

You weren’t naive enough to think finally standing up to Gretchen would solve all of your problems. You also didn’t expect to become something of an office pariah by lunch that day though, either.

It seemed that suddenly everyone knew what had happened not only with Gretchen, but with Paul, and about the multiple complaints you had filed against him. You felt the stares and heard the whispers, not having to try hard to accomplish either because no one was going out of their way to hide it. Judgment came off of people in waves, making you feel like the worst kind of center of attention. You were hot and itchy with discomfort.

It was a struggle to stay focused to hit the deadlines you had, and when you emailed everything over to Gretchen a little bit after 5:00, the immediate response you got was her informing you that you were ten minutes late, and that a deadline for another client that you normally handled was moved to tomorrow. Every part of you wanted to respond by telling her that would have been nice to know in advance and so it sounded like a her problem. But the client in question was someone you genuinely enjoyed working with. They were always so good to you, and you didn’t want to let them down because of Gretchen’s thoughtlessness of telling you this last week. You gritted your teeth, wishing you would have listened to Bradley when he suggested taking off of work.

By Thursday, you felt like you were going to crawl out of your skin. The whispers had turned to full fledged talking now, people vocally making it clear that they didn’t believe you and weren’t on your side. The rumors that floated around were starting to get vicious. Each one was more outlandish than the one before. They made the days longer, each minute feeling like an hour, and considering you hadn’t left earlier than 8pm due to the extra work given to you, you felt like you were slowly but surely losing your mind; you didn’t know how much more of it you could take.

To make matters worse, you hadn’t seen Bradley all week, though not for a lack of trying. You missed him. Your nightly phone calls were one of the only things getting you through, and last night you had been so tired that his voice had lulled you to sleep barely 10 minutes into the call. Your phone was below 10%, but you could have cried when you woke up and saw that the line was still connected. Bradley hadn’t hung up, and he was there when you called out for him. When you switched the call to Facetime, you could see he was getting ready for work, his uniform already on and a toothbrush in his mouth.

“Morning, beautiful.”

You could practically feel the bags under your eyes, and you knew your hair was all over the place. You didn’t feel very beautiful right now, but you smiled at him anyway, the compliment making you feel warmer than the blankets you were still laying under.

“Good morning. I don’t want to get up,” you groaned pathetically, burrowing yourself further into the pillow under your head. Bradley chuckled lightly, but didn’t say anything as he finished brushing his teeth. When you forced your heavy eyes back open, the thoughtful, contemplative look he was giving you reflected through the screen. His brown eyes were full of something that your tired mind thought was worry. “What?” you asked quietly.

“I’m going to come see you tonight,” he said. “I’m tired of things getting in the way. I want to see my girl. I don’t want to wait until the weekend again.”

The early morning rasp in his voice made you shiver. Your heart raced in anticipation, suddenly feeling a little bit more awake. You weren’t going to point out that the weekend would have just been one extra day at this point, because truly, you felt the exact same way. “I’d like that.”

You told him you’d do everything in your power to leave as close to 5pm as you could, and he promised the same in regard to leaving the base. You had stayed on the phone for as long as you could before hanging up. In the beginning of the day, thinking about seeing him had been the only thing getting you through. But by the middle of the afternoon, the snide comments and judgy looks from people had consumed you.

You knew you were strong, and you did everything you could to remind yourself that they were just words, and that these people meant nothing to you. But god, you could only handle so much.

Your last meeting of the day was a departmental one with your whole team, Paul included. You sat as far away from him as you possibly could and avoided eye contact, though you could feel his, as well as everyone else's, on you. Your skin itched at the attention and you resisted the urge to tug at the collar of your blouse. It was made worse by Gretchen telling everyone how she was reassigning one of your favorite accounts to him, a comment about divvying up resources to improve work/life balance. She looked at you directly as she said it, and you didn’t miss the twitch of her lip as she fought off a self-satisfied smile. You have no doubt that it was a dig at how you had said you were overloaded. You tried not to regret standing up to her earlier in the week.

It was the longest hour of the week so far, and when it was over, you were the first one out of your chair. You still had work to do, but after returning to your desk and sitting for almost an hour without accomplishing anything due to how utterly miserable you felt, you just…couldn’t. You kept your head down as you made your way to the elevators, only glancing up once you made it to the lobby. Instantly, your breath caught and your heart rate picked up. You didn’t see his face, but you knew it was Paul standing there, his back to you as he waited for one of the lifts. Before he could spot you, you escaped into the bathroom. You waited for five, and then ten minutes just to be safe. It was after 6:00 when you finally made it down to the parking lot and started toward home.

You had gotten so overwhelmed the latter half of the day, the week catching up with you, that Bradley coming over had almost entirely left your mind. So when you pulled into your driveway and saw him sitting on your porch steps waiting for you, the first tear slipped.

Bradley rose from the porch and was already walking toward you by the time you stepped out of the car. He gave you that devastating smile of his that you knew was reserved just for you, his eyes sparkling in the setting sun.

“Hey you,” he greeted, “I was getting worried.”

You realized then that you hadn’t even bothered checking your phone to see if he had texted or called you before you left the office, and another tear slipped down your cheek.

The last thing you wanted was this: this whole situation having you so stressed that you forget him, or push him to the side. And that’s exactly what had happened today. That place, those people, they were ruining everything. And you were letting them. That, more than anything, upset you.

“Sorry,” you choked out, your voice hitching as the word got stuck in your throat. Bradley’s smile faded at the same time he clocked the dampness on your cheek and heard your apology. His eyes widened as he quickened his stride to you.

“Bug, what-”

You gave him no warning before you closed the remaining distance. Your bag clattered to the ground as you slammed into him. He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you in return, holding you tightly against his body. Your face buried itself into his chest and your hands gripped the back of his shirt as you clung to him, and right there in your driveway, you finally let yourself cry.

“Hey,” Bradley soothed, running a hand up and down your back, never easing his grip on you. “Hey, hey. Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?”

You shook your head, unable to find the words you were looking for. It was like all the stress from the week, the whispers and stares and rumors, hit you all at one time, and you couldn’t stop the tears now that they had started. They silently streamed down your cheeks as you let yourself find comfort in your boyfriend’s embrace, all the emotions slowly slipping out of you as he kept you locked in his arms.

You could hear the concern in his voice as he repeated the question, and you felt so bad for making him worry.

“Sorry,” you stammered, not pulling away. “I’m okay. Sorry.” You tried your best to take a breath, but it came out shaky. Your bottom lip quivered again, more tears spilling.

“No, hey, it’s okay.”

Bradley shushed you gently, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. He stood there holding you, running a large palm up and down your spine, whispering in your ear that it was okay, and to let it out. He didn’t even know what was going on, yet he was an unmoving presence, offering you comfort with no expectations.

When your tears finally dried and your crying transitioned into sniffling instead, you tilted your head back. Bradley moved with you, peering down with concern shining in his brown eyes. You tried to smile, but the most you could manage was a twitch of your lips. There was an urge to say I’m sorry again, which he must have read on your face.

“Let’s get you inside,” he said, before the apology could leave your lips. He kissed your forehead, lingering for a moment. You felt him breathe in against your skin before pulling away. “Come on.”

He scooped up your fallen belongings and guided you to the front door. He unlocked it himself with the keys he had picked up and let you go in before him. He didn’t stop touching you the whole time, his hand firmly on your lower back, and when he locked the door and set your stuff down on the entryway table, he didn’t hesitate to draw you back into his arms. You practically melted against him. The grip he had on you was the only thing keeping you upright, and for a few minutes, you just let yourself be. You felt lighter than you had in days and you knew it was because of him.

Not for the first time, you wondered what you had done to possibly deserve him.

Bradley didn’t rush you, but you eventually detached yourself from him. He squeezed your hips before he released you, encouraging you to go take a shower and put on something more comfortable.

“I’ll order something,” he said when you started to make a comment about cooking for him. He stepped forward again and leant down for the first kiss you had shared since Sunday night. It was only a soft brush of lips, neither of you even attempting to deepen it, but it helped loosen the grip of the remaining anxiety around your throat. The smile you gave him before you walked toward your bedroom was one of the first genuine ones you had mustered all day.

When you came back into the living room, there was food and wine on the coffee table, but no Bradley in sight. You didn’t have a chance to call out for him before your backdoor opened and he came through.

“I took your trash out,” he explained, a small frown on his face. “Did you know your backdoor was unlocked?”

Your eyebrows pinched together at his question. You hadn’t known that. You couldn’t even remember the last time you had gone through it.

“My landlord was supposed to come by and look at the bathroom window,” you said with a shrug, brushing it off even as your earlier anxiety threatened to come back. “He usually comes in through the back when I’m not here. He probably didn’t lock it on the way out. It wouldn’t be the first time, especially since sometimes it looks locked until you tug on it. It’s…quirky.”

“It's sucky, is what it is,” Bradley said, his voice flatter than you had ever heard it. You couldn’t help but huff out a laugh as you agreed with him. “Will you call him tomorrow and make sure? Or I can, if you want?”

“I will,” you promised, accepting the kiss he gave you. “Can we eat?”

Once the pizza he ordered was finished and the glass of wine he had poured you emptied, you crawled onto his lap on the couch. He was warm and solid beneath you.

“Will you tell me what happened?” he asked gently, his calloused fingers brushing your bare thigh. You nuzzled your face into his neck for a moment, inhaling the comforting smell of his skin and the remnants of his cologne.

“Just got overwhelmed, I think,” you whispered. You kissed below his chin before lifting your head enough to meet his eyes. “I feel better now.”

Bradley’s eyes studied you like he was trying to see if you were underplaying it, but you weren’t lying - you did feel better now. Maybe not 100%, but better.

“Are you sure?” he finally asked. You nodded, but you told him about your day anyway, not wanting to keep him in the dark about anything. His jaw clenched when you mentioned one of the new rumors floating around today claiming that you had filed the complaint because you were jealous Paul turned you down when you asked him out. You pressed your lips to the spot where the muscles ticked until he relaxed.

He looked like he was contemplating something by the time you finished your debrief. You waited him out with your fingers running through the soft curls on the top of his head; the motion was something that calmed both of you down.

“You know I’ll take care of you, right?” he asked after a quiet moment, like he was still thinking over how best to say it. “If you wanted to quit now, or if-”

You shifted so that instead of sitting across it, you were straddling his lap. You kissed him soundly in interruption, your skin warm beneath his hands where he cradled you against him. Your forehead laid against his when you pulled away, noses brushing and breaths mingling.

“You already are,” you promised him, voice nothing higher than a whisper. You knew that he didn’t just mean emotionally, and he knew you knew that, too. But he didn’t call you out on it, instead trusting that you would come to him if you needed to. He trusted you, and that meant more than anything. Those words from before played on your tongue again, but you swallowed them back by kissing him once more.

Now wasn’t the time for them, either.

___

You and Bradley spent the weekend together, and just like the ones before, you’re able to forget about work and everything that came with it for the two full days in each other’s presence. When Sunday rolled around, this time you didn’t force yourself to leave when the sun went down. The almost hour drive to your office from Bradley’s apartment on Monday morning wasn’t ideal, but waking up tangled in his sheets with his arm wrapped around you had made it all worth it.

The rumors slowed with the time off, but only marginally. You were still the punch line of several ill-intended jokes and you couldn’t go anywhere without feeling someone’s eyes on you. You lost count of how many raised eyebrows you saw before the person who sent them your way turned to whisper to whoever they were sitting beside.

You wondered how these so-called professionals had nothing better to do with their time. But you also wondered, deep down, why no one believed you. That was one of the toughest pills to swallow.

You had taken to reserving one of the conference rooms during the day, hiding away in there with your laptop between meetings and only venturing back to your desk after the office emptied out in the evenings. By the end of the second week, you were exhausted all over again.

You were lying stretched out on your couch with your feet in Bradley’s lap on Friday night when your phone buzzed with a new text message. You groaned out loud when you opened the group chat with your friend group.

“Oh no.”

Bradley tore his gaze away from the political documentary he had been zoned in for, looking over at you in question. “What’s wrong?”

“I forgot about brunch.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Your monthly meetup?”

Your face softened, warmth spreading through you at the fact that he remembered. You weren’t sure why you were surprised - he had proven time and time again that he remembered damn near anything.

“Yeah,” you confirmed.

He looked thoughtful for a moment, his fingers never ceasing from where they were pressing into the sore soles of your feet. You hadn’t even had to ask for him to rub them, and that in and of itself made pleasure shoot through you at his touch.

“You usually love these things,” he said, not as a question, but simply as stating a fact. “You should go,” he encouraged.

You let the phone fall onto your chest without responding to the messages coming in. You did usually love these outings. You looked forward to them, even. But this time you were tired even at just the idea of it. Your friends tended to be a lot and you were already so overstimulated from the last two weeks of absolute hell at work. The thought of just you and Bradley in a bubble together for two straight days sounded so lovely. You shrugged in reply.

“I don’t really want to go out,” you said, “it’s been a long few weeks.”

“I know it has. But maybe seeing your friends could get your mind off of it?”

“I know someone else who does a great job of that all on his own,” you said, digging your toes into his thigh playfully. He laughed softly, tickling you in retaliation. You squealed at the sensation, trying to get your legs away, but Bradley held onto you and continued his attack. You nearly had tears in your eyes from your laughter by the time he had mercy. He had ended up hovering over you, his arms bracketing you in and holding himself up to avoid crushing you. You let out a hum of pleasure when he kissed you, pouting when he pulled away after just a few seconds. His mustache twitched when he smiled.

“I think you should go,” he told you. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to keep you all to myself. But I think it would be good. Catch up with your friends. Have a mimosa or two. Forget about all the shit going on for a while.”

You considered his words for a moment. Truthfully, the thought of going out caused nervousness to thrum in your chest and your mind to race. It was easier being at home or at Bradley’s apartment.

The more you thought about it, though, the more you realized that by letting that unnerving feeling win, you were letting him win. Paul. You hadn’t felt this kind of uncertainty of living your life until he came along, and that realization made you sad. You loved going out with your friends, and you hadn’t done it in awhile now.

“You’re right,” you said. You leant up to press your lips to his again. “I’ll go.”

It would be fun, and it was just brunch. What was the worst that could happen?

-------------

Part Eight :: Series Masterlist :: Main Masterlist

Notes: Famous words, Bug. Famous words.

I had a scowl on my face writing pretty much this whole chapter because people being mean to Bug make me angry. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! The next one is a goodie!

Likes/comments/reblogs are the best encouragement for posting more🖤

Thank you to Mak and Em for all of your help making this story come to life. And thanks to Mak for the AMAZING banner!

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