Theres nothing wrong with you, its true, its true
“Hey, have you seen...” Peter trailed off as he looked around the room searching for the one missing face among his team.
“I thought they were with you?” Ava asked, watching Sam’s face slowly contort in worry, hand reaching out to his helmet, ready to zip away in a blur of blue light.
“Yeah… they were. I’m here for…” Peter pointed at Sam.
All eyes turned to Nova as he stood slowly, nerves getting the better of him. Something was wrong. Not ‘time to dive over the tricarrier and make a dash before they hit the ground below’ level wrong, but Webs’ brows were knit and he came looking for Sam specifically. That only happened when a special kind of TLC was needed. “Where?” Sam’s terse voice came out like a demand as he put his helmet on.
“The usual”. Peter hadn’t gotten three syllables before Sam was gone down the hall.
“So what happened?” Ava asked as Spidey sat down.
“Fell into the wrong corner of the internet.” At Danny’s confused look Peter went on. “ ‘Phobes, “that doesn’t exist”, just crummy people being crummy people.”
Iron First nodded and frowned at the hall sympathetically.
Nova stopped outside the locked door. “Babe? It’s Sammy, can I…” He paused, not so much waiting for a response but listening for… The door panel light changed to green indicating it was open from the inside. As Nova opened the door, light flooded the room. …’sign 1: sitting in the dark’. “Oh, honey…”
He took his helmet off and sat nearly flush on the bed. Sam held his arms open slightly. Not a demand, just an offer. A welcome one at that, tangled hair got pressed into the side of his face as he was pulled close. Sam could admit he wasn’t the best at comforting and worse at offering affirmation but thankfully he was dating someone that gave really good preemptive instructions for how to help and what to do when/if they get like… this.
“Mm?” Sam prompted, nuzzling.
“Mm-mm.” Well, alright then… ‘sign 2: not having emotional energy to communicate verbally’.
“Do you…” before Sam could offer things he knew they liked they started to cry. “Yay, there you go I gotchu…”
“It… it sucks!” they clutched onto the gold straps of his suit as shaky breaths turned into earnest sobs. “Just, sucks.”
Gentle pets and tight hugs, helped the tension ease and the tears flow. Letting it out always was the best thing for them. Sam took a deep breath -one they mimicked trying to calm down. “No, no no, let it out, gumball, let it out”- hearing them sob like this was always contagious, making his eyes water. Sam reached for their phone, their ears must be ringing like sirens in the silence... ah, yup. A familiar icon; four houses: three blank, one with colorful stripes.
<< ► >>
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As the emotional chords and lyrics filled the small space as did more tears and sobs. Sam held the shaking body close as the song looped again and again. When the first yawn broke through he knew they’d feel better soon. They tugged at the strap they still held getting Nova’s attention. When he looked down they pressed the tips of their fingers to their chin and pulled a flat hand away from their face.
“Don’t thank me, baby. You don’t have to thank me. I love you, I’ll always be here when the world sucks.” That got a little giggle, before the sobs came back and they latched on like a vice. A few tears slipped down his own face. He couldn’t help it, as much as he’d like to be a calm and collected comfort watching the dysphoria hit always broke his heart to see.
“Ooh! Hol’ on a sec.” They let go and scrubbed their face as their boyfriend searched through their regular day bag. “Ah ha!” he sat down just as they tossed away a soiled tissue. “Bam. Passport and driver’s license are next.” Sam set a small card in their hand. They looked at the piece of plastic and smiled before clutching it to their chest. Their S.H.I.E.L.D. I.D. was the only official document they had that had the correct name on it. It was useless everywhere else but still made them happy to have.
“I love you, Sammy.”
“I love you, too, handsome.”
A pause. “Promise?”
“Yeah. The real you.” His statement accentuated by running his fingers over the bump of each scar on their chest. “We can talk to Connors about bottom and T. tomorrow if you feel like it then?”
They nodded and presses kisses to his shoulder as they pulled him to sit in their lap, tangling themselves together snug. More tears flowed, again and again as they curled tight. After what felt like could be an hour a knock tapped at the door. They nodded into the boy clutched in their arms prompting Sam to hold them tighter and turn to the door, “It’s open.”
The team peered in with matching sorrowful expressions. Sam may be the one actively in a relationship but all five of the team had grown to need the young agent. Danny held out bottle. Sam looked down. “Do you think you could try and drink some water, love?”
They sniffled and sat up eagerly, nodding and pulling stray hairs off their wet face. Danny smiled at their immediate interest in hydration. Sam pressed a kiss to their temple after they swiftly downed 3/5 of the liquid. When they yawned for the n’th time Ava ushered the others to leave and let the couple be.
“Mm!”
“What’s up?” Peter asked from the doorway.
They pointed to Sam, then to the team, then snuggled back into their boyfriend. Surly they weren’t asking for Sam to leave (they didn’t do it like that). At Peter’s confused face Sam spoke to his partner loud enough for the others to hear the message being translated to them, “they’ll grab me if Nova’s needed.”
“Nah, dude stay, we go-” Sam cut Luke off with a shake of his head and continued quieter, “they’ll spiral if they think they’re keeping me from something.” The taller boy nodded as the four heroes bid the two goodnight and closed the door.
“Think you could sleep?”
The start of a nod before a shrug.
“Wanna try?”
Soft nodding.
“Okay,” Sam sighed as he spoke and laid down. He felt the familiar weight and warmth as they curled around him and pressed a few gentle kisses to the back of his neck.
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