#THIS is so bad for my mental health

[kangyeosaang]

key · 230630

#key #kibum #kim kibum #shinee #shineeedit #edits #shineenet #dailyshinee #kpopccc #ultkpopnetwork #kpopco #rosieblr #wabisarah #tusersofie #aleksbestie #lunanuggets #this is so bad for my mental health #in fact im uploading this from my grave

[louisplumpyass]

THAT'S DADDY OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK I CANNOT—

#I AM NOT OKAY GUYS #THIS is so bad for my mental health #SUNGLASSES in fucking sane #louis tomlinson #harry styles #girl quit ALREADY #larry #louis and harry #larry stylinson #stylinson #harry and louis #larries #daddy louis #dilf louis #tank top louis #fitf world tour #one direction #one direction fandom

[sacredthethreadgvf]

High def photo has been released

#greta van fleet #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #josh kiszka #danny wagner #this is so bad for my mental health

[fluffysharkss]

does it ever drive you crazy

just how fast the night changes?

#in shambles #i cant cope #this is so bad for my mental health #good omens #ineffable husbands

[luverleaver]

STOP WITH THE WEDDING CONTENT

#PLS #this is so bad for my mental health #greta van fleet #gvf #sam kiszka #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #danny wagner

[loser-user-noaccuser]

DANNY WITH AN AVOCADO

#i can’t do this #i’m blaming malena #this is so bad for my mental health #I NEED HIM SO BAD #i love danny wagner more than words could describe

[lesbianralzarek]

"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw

#i originally posted this as just a 'hey remember how fuckin bad middle/highschool was? shit was wild' type post but now #there are a bunch of teens in the notes being like 'oh my god are you serious? it gets better? im not stuck in hell forever??' #and im reminded that the only people who told teenage ella 'it gets better' were speakers at mental health assemblies #aka the least relatable people alive who were seemingly born to lie to you #so. uh. yeah im a certified adult who isnt here to lie or sugarcoat the realities of being a teenager #the only thing more certain than the pain is the transcience

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

#writeblr #warm up #ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from: #15% literally don't even touch water #an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP #15+35 =50% #like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap #btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water'' #which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes #ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild #i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me #but no they're just confidently wrong..... #182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6 #that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week. #ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho #this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded #in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair #or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS. #men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies #i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health. #this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become. #like they don't try to hide it anymore.

[stargazing15]

I wanted that job so fucking bad

And by saying a colleague was just better they are just putting salt in my wounds, once again not enough

Story of my life

Never enough

#this is so bad for my mental health #tomorrow it's been 8 years #what if I had taken more and didn't survive #it's just so fucking hard #i'm so scared #personal #the rejection at work is coming at the worst possible timing ever #making me doubt myself even more #drowning my sorrows in wine

[uncanny-tranny]

I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.

If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!

#mental health #mental health advocacy #it was just so annoying because every resource i could access for this project often ONLY recommended cbt and #that just doesn't seem helpful for a good chunk of people #because i know i never benefitted from that model of therapy #obligatory: i am not against this therapy. me having a negative experience with it is not indicative that i believe it should be abolished' #if it works for you: KEEP DOING IT. cbt is not inherently harmful for MANY people and it's a good and valuable tool for many #but the overemphasis of cbt as the Only Therapy Model You Need sends this message that YOU failed... #...if you don't miraculously recover with that therapy model. it often feels like you'll Fail Recovery/Therapy and you're now a Bad Person #i've tried for over a decade to stick out cbt with a dozen therapists to boot. so i think i know a thing or two about my experiences with it #and overall its an unimpressive model (for me) as someone whos had a history with abuse and miscellaneous mental knickknacks rattling around #it's also frustrating because i genuinely like psych and i love learning about people #it's just. i'm tired of only being exposed to cbt (because i hate it honestly) #i feel similarly about cbt as i do with sigmund fucking frued #anyway i just want other insane people (affectionate) to remember that they deserve to not beat themselves up over this #if you're an insane person reading this: i love you i love you i love you i love you #i will share a slice of cake and homemade bread with you <3

[hyakunana]

I hate the sewers . jpg

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #larian studios #astarion #astarion ancunin #halsin #bg3 halsin #comics #fanart #me browsing my saved clips like 'wait why did i record this one—' #cuts the scene im laughin for solid 5 mins #i feel so bad for astarion it almost looks like he isn't my fav w this treatment kcvvnxovx #'the bank money can wait - we need to pamper astarion now' #hey past me why did u try to switch places w halsin instead of- yknow- tHE GUY YOU PAIRED HIM WITH #prob was bc halsin had more hp to let him step on fire - and also forgetting the water pipe does that #ngl i still don't really understand how to do this part the proper way #like- yeah i know what to do but it's never perfect and always someone will get burned or pushed #plot twist im making better numbers here than twt w bg3 so i'm posting here first while i do a twt detox #my mental health this month is hanging there by two strings and these strings are baldurs gate 3 and hades 2 #currently doing my honor run with my rebooted tav'chyon the dracomonk pls wish me luck

[kunikidas-lost-glasses]

Okay but Gojo raised two children at 17/18 alone with like zero experience on how to be a good parent while he was training to become the strongest and shortly after loosing his best friend who had also been the one he had been in love with in one of the most horrendous and cruel ways possible all while keeping up an incredibly cheerful and carefree personality.

You can't tell me that this man wasn't emotionally, mentally and probably also physically exhausted during that time.

#Doing all of that is honestly so impressive #And doing so while being at a bad place in life/struggling with mental health makes it even more difficult to manage #I like to think that Nanami and Shoko kept checking on him frequently despite him saying that he was fine and didn't needed any help #He was just 17/18 at that time. He was so young. #Hc: When he had a moment for himself in the evening when the kids were already in bed he would just sit in bed and stare holes into the air #he would do so for nearly one hour unless one of the kids would call for him which happened rarely #shoving only tiny parts of headcanons which aren't bsd related into the posts which aren't bsd related so that I can still publish them #Listening to sad songs while my mental health is getting worse again really sets the mood for this one #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #gojo saturo #saturo gojo #megumi fushiguro #tsumiki fushiguro #fushiguro tsumiki #geto suguru #suguru geto #satoru x suguru #satosugu #jjk gojo #jjk spoilers #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #not bsd related

[nothingbizzare]

Cuties

#i am really tired recently like super tired and my mental health is really bad recently so i am sorry if i draw only doodle now for a while #TERU'S SILLY HAIR DYIDYJDGJDGJDGJFHJFHJ #LOOK AT THEM SILLIES CHILLING IN TEH PARK #nothingbizzare art #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #mob psycho fanart #hanazawa teruki #teruki hanazawa #kageyama shigeo #shigeo kageyama #terumob #mp100 fanart

[cosmosnout]

Fuck it we ball, golden route were they all team up and rule over Fódlan together. Canon won’t let them be happy and alive together so I have to do it (+ soldier,poet,king reference since it’s literally them)

#dimitri and claude figure out that twsitd are behind all the bads things that have happened in their country and seek out eidie to kick ass #they propably dismantle the chruch or at least seperate the church from state while they’re at it lol #Hanneman cures edie of her crests so shes able to live a long life #or not idk i made two versions bc of that #together they open up fodlans boarders and start building relations with their neighboring countries #they form and alliens between their nations and become the high lords of fodlan #byleth is there #note to self: draw byleth next #yeah idk power of friendship or something #my mental health is relain to their well being #fuck edelgard and dimitri having to kill eachother #art #digital art #my art #fanart #digital illustration #fe3h #fire emblem 3 houses #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fe3h dimitri #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #fe3h edelgard #edelgard von fresberg #fe3h claude #claude von reigan #fe3h au #fe3h golden route au

[liquidstar]

but for real i love adventure time bc in the face of shitty family members that are also space war criminals, most kids show protags would be all "guys lets not fight... we're family! we can be friends! peace and love!" but finn is like "im going to personally rip off my dads arm because i hate him"

#not that its healthy and im glad he didnt actually do it (for the sake of his own mental state) #the choice to not rip his dads arm off is abt his own mental health not any sort of greater good or whatever #but im also glad the shitty parent conflict wasnt resolved by everything just being pushed under the rug #it sort of just ended with. okay fine. i cant change you so just be out of my life forever now #tho it is also tragic bc martin wasnt always a bad guy... hes sort of a victim of circumstance too #but that doesnt really matter as far as finn's journey is concerned #adventure time