#Tbh i only accepted this because its been months and we were desperate and my stepdad wouldnt get off my case

[selamat-linting]

if yall think that department store job is bad wait until you hear about the stock broker job i almost had.

so, i recently turned 19 at the time and was desperate for employment. there's this walk-in interview ad on the local job site. i went there, hand in my resume, and without looking at my file the HR told me im accepted for a three day training program. it should be a red flag, but i came in anyway.

our trainer is a man in a fancy suit. the first thing he said other than the over-excited greeting was thanks. thanks for not believing the naysayers who said this job is a scam.

i might be stupid, but im not stupid enough to ignore that. immediately i was hyper aware of everything this trainer was doing and saying. our first day was all motivational speeches and bombarding everyone who dared to question their scheme with noises and covert shaming so they'd get in line. the actual product we're selling, the daily operation, he either sidesteps the question or explain it in such a vague nothingburger way that you couldnt understand it. at least they gave us free lunch though.

when i get home, i began looking up the name of the company. theyre formally certified as a broker company, but its hard to find an actual job desc or the benefits. there's even accounts of costumers who felt theyre getting scammed out of the whole deal. i still came in the next day.

i dont know what i was thinking tbh. i guess there is a part of me who wished it was all a misunderstanding, or a part of me who thinks i can actually make a sale and get money despite the circumstances, and a part of me who wants to convince myself that im not a quitter. i was a mess. i went on my second day, and at least a quarter of people are gone. we did our training, this time we're taught how to trade stocks, using software we barely understand with principles we dont even get. and ofc when we get the job, the money we use for trading would be our customers' money.

during break time, they told us to get comfortable with the workers who have been there for months. i was friendly with them, but i realized they're the ones i could actually get a straight answer from. i basically cornered and made one of them to admit this is a job with no base pay, just a commission scheme. and some havent closed anything for months since the day they start working. i admit, i did it for myself, but i hope other people who enrolled in training with me heard it too.

it was then i made the decision to drop out. dont get me wrong, commission only jobs are a standard practice for a lot of sales industry, and i respect people who do the hustle. actually, i might even try it one day if (big IF here) im skilled and financially stable enough to weather the rough months. but its wrong for that company to avoid explaining that aspect especially when the job is convincing people to fund your trading business and you cant even educate your workers on the product properly! its predatory and scammy as fuck.

and for years after that sometimes i hear a story of a coworker who tried their luck. all of them failed. well, one girl i know manage to close a deal. except she got screwed by her seniors and she didnt get her earnings. one guy i know even end up drowning in debt because of that job. but then again, i dont feel sorry for him because i overheard him confessed to raping a girl at a party once so he deserved it lol!

anyway, the office of that trading company was soon shut down around 2020. i heard they got sued, or they cant pay the rent for the building, im not sure. they were closed though. and everyone who knows that place but doesnt work there, recognized they have a not so stellar reputation. however, they recently reopened under a new name. different company name, same business model. thats capitalism.

#posts about my life

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hello there,

Hope this finds you well.

I have read your "morality clause" post and it is quite understandable and coherent. However I would like to ask you about "when things went belly up with DWD" if its ok.

We all experienced the disaster of the campaign around DWD, from brewing during its filming period to intensify in the last month before launch. I am curious about when you say that things “went belly up”, what do you mean exactly ?: is it about how did Olivia and her team work unilaterally or rather how did they (HO) work on a common agreement but the acceptance was disastrous?

Olivia's speech contained miltiple red flags, but sadly it was the same one that she has always pushed; I am aware of how everything became even worst the moment the cast & crew joined in the stunt promo to finish off the situation, but what sparked the fire were those 2 or 3 interviews in which various statements from Holivia mixed gasoline and flames... (following a non-stop number of pap-walks that stopped from the sudden to gaslight everyone who have eyes and that lead to Venezia, etc.)

Bottom line: I can consider disagreements, new negotiations and adjustments (as you mentioned) bts because of an unexpected turn of acceptance & exhaustion from the GP/fans, but if "those clauses" had been key and could have brought this BUA timing & “friendly” exit wouldn’t have they immediately stopped any damaging line of speech before getting worst as the first step. Not only they didn’t stop any of the narratives but they continued to feed them. Don’t you think?

Thank you,

N.

Hey, love!

So, I think to understand what I mean when I say “when things went belly up”, you have to think of the weight of the ramifications in terms of the impact on Harry as a wider brand, as opposed to the impact of Harry within his own fandom.

You see, HSHQ expect a certain amount of backlash from within fandom, but, unfortunately, it’s often seen as negligible, because we’re already loyal and converted. If we don’t like Harry’s “girlfriend”, it really doesn’t matter, because we already love Harry and continue to support him.

Where the tides really turn is in the court of public opinion (the GP) and while you’re right in saying Olivia’s narrative never changed, public opinion did the moment Florence decided to speak out against her. That was the first time the GP really stopped and thought “Wait a minute, maybe this isn’t just about Harry’s fans not liking his girlfriend. Maybe there is validity to their dislike.”

That’s when fandom discussions began to gain traction outside of fandom, and then gain even more credibility with the physical evidence that was being attached to the drama (Shia, Shia, Shia; miss Flo; Florence and Chris refusing to do promo; no one taking the time to interact with Olivia at VFF) until it was undeniable that this was absolutely going to damage Harry’s wider reputation.

And, while it seems like a small thing, their “cool off” at Venice and her subsequent disappearance from his shows in September were a direct effect of that, and showed me that HSHQ were desperately trying to regroup and put out fires.

The thing is, the most Harry’s team can do to stop Olivia is threaten to end the stunt, but I believe at a certain point, that threat had no real teeth when she knew he would still need a beard for MP anyway. So, it’s likely the morality clause was breached and Harry got the most he could out of it, while still being able to somewhat “salvage” the two years he invested into the stunt by keeping her around for the shortest amount of time humanly possible.

TBH, it’s still not all clicking in my head, because the one part I can’t figure out is why Olivia had this much power and say that allowed her to push the envelope as far and as long as she did, but this is the most logical theory I can come up with at the moment.

I still would have ended the stunt immediately (and at least spared Harry Olivia’s desperate attempt to stay in the spotlight with the Nanny Diaries), but I guess HSHQ perceived My Policeman as a huge enough threat to insist Harry weather Cyclone Olivia for a little bit longer.

#iaw ask #iaw anonymous #stunt tw #stunt discussion #BUA discussion #holivia tw

[theninjasanctuary]

The usual year in review post, just to have some documentation of what went down and how I felt about it. It is way too long, but on the upside, includes cat pictures.

This year:

I got a cat, by accident. Found an abandoned kitten by the side of a country road, where I would have preferred not to be at all (morning of a damp end-of-August Monday, the boyf needed all the help he could get with a sudden, ill-timed delivery of building materials, it was hard work), and not to be walking on (broken e-scooter). But as nobody else walks there (everyone is driving), I was that kitten's only chance, as he was too small and too scared to walk over to the nearest houses (noisy tractor in a field between him and said houses), and definitely too small to make it on his own, his only realistic options were ending up either as roadkill or a fox or hawk snack. It still upsets me just how small this chance was. With a working scooter, I would have just zipped past there and probably not heard him crying (he was doing short-interval distress meows, hiding in the roadside weeds, when he heard my footsteps - and came out and let me pick him up when I stopped and talked to him). And I would not have a hefty, beautiful, sweet and affectionate 6-month-old kitten napping on my sofa right now (and while I was writing this draft in the kitchen, he woke up and came asking for cuddles). It's been a ride, an expensive one, and a source of new worries and a lot of initial stress (he's never been spicy, but was inadvertently scratchy as fuck, always climbing up my legs; thankfully he is fine with getting his nails trimmed and has mostly stopped trying to climb people), and the unwanted responsibility still annoys me (he's quite attached to me, but I'll go on a week-long trip in a month, how will he manage?). He was fine when we were out seeing friends for New Year's Eve though (came home after 5 AM).

This is the first picture I took of him, texting it to the boyf who was a few minutes behind me with the caption "Alone and screaming". He had some fresh scratches on his face (I thought they'd have matched the paw of another kitten) and looked sad and worried for the first couple of weeks.

And here's one from October, he loves a chance to poke at my laptop.

It took me a while to accept the idea we might keep him. The boyf, surprisingly, was much more keen on this, despite being against the idea of pets before, and adores the furry critter even though it tends to focus its affections on me. I thought we'd have to give him away because my niblings who occasionally come around are allergic, but it has been manageable, and they love him and he apparently likes them and plays nicely. I have posted here earlier about being sad about not having a nice, huggable cat, and always had the idea I would get cats again at some point, said point being when I would be rich and living in mom's house out of town, by then fully renovated, which still feels unachieveable; and I had thought about tabbies being cute (even if first choice might still be a calico or tortie, like my childhood cat was). So here we are. No house, still mostly broke, but the huggable cat has materialized.

Obviously there were other things happening. I seem to have mostly got over the grief of last year by the end of this one. Possibly it got overshadowed by the awfulness of a full-scale fucking war happening in the region. Still, I remember just crying every night around last Christmas, and none of that is happening now, I somehow feel okay. I still felt distinctly awful and down this spring (with the context of said war being new and feeling scarier than it does now), but it's possible the grief part got overtaken with work and other private stresses over the summer (and then the stress of unexpected pet ownership). Life without Dad is not great, but it is better than life would have been if he was still alive but desperately unwell, and tbh it's a relief he's not seeing this war. I don't dwell on what ifs much. It has also been a relief that I am getting along with my mother better than I expected, she isn't wallowing and manages to keep herself active and entertained, and my little brother is helpful and constructive as always, so between us, we have managed to keep up with most of the things that need to be taken care of.

I struggled with work, this year may well have been the worst my lack of focus has EVER been, due to listed stressors above, but I still somehow managed to complete a relatively major thing, and did passably at lesser tasks. Currently not concerned about being fired, and about to get a pay rise, which is welcome, because cost of living has gone up and I've struggled to make ends meet this year, nvm saving. Not in the red by the end of the year, which is good, but basically no savings except a few hundred in cash and pension funds.

I started drinking coffee daily after more than 20 years. Most of you won't remember the amount of concerned messaging about osteoporosis that was around when I was in my teens (although I probably did all that damage and probably more with an eating disorder and Pepsi Max over the next few years). So, for most of my adult life, I had a few cups per year as a treat, even though it messed with my blood pressure due to having low caffeine tolerance (drinking green tea by the bucketloads doesn't really build that up). Upon getting an office job in 2018, I started drinking a cup most days I was there (due to stress and lack of sleep and needing to treat myself, but also because one of the several competing coffee stations in the building did, and still does, big mugs of good café au lait for a decent 1.30 € per cup). And I missed that office coffee sorely during Covid movement restrictions/working from home. So the boyf gave me a good coffee machine for last Christmas (Philips, LatteGo 5000something), which came with some free beans that were actually really good, so I've been repurchasing those most of the year. Trying to not ruin my sleep, I stick to 1, occasionally 2 per day, and it's a small cup and by far not the strongest settings, but am genuinely enjoying it. It's not helping me focus at all, but helps me feel more awake for a short while, I guess, as well as get chores done. A side effect was craving coffee on a work trip in the US and finding out how bad it was, it tastes burnt and in most cases is not nearly strong enough. Could not finish a small (meaning, twice the size of my usual cup at home) Starbucks cappuccino, just beige milk awfulness. Am mystified by their coffee obsession having witnessed what's on offer.

As for travelling, some work travel after what seems like ages: went to the US for the first time since Obama's second term, and enjoyed my first visit to the PNW (a nice hotel with a random upgrade to a massive room all by myself; plenty of good company, a road trip to the Olympic peninsula with a friend, it was great). I would consider going back there at some point, even though the US scares the f out of me, and I know there's a massive earthquake overdue.

As for travel on my own money, went to Paris only once - there were plans to see a live in February, but it was postponed to May due to Covid again, and that gave me an excuse to not deal with my birthday (I just didn't feel like doing a garden party without my Dad there). Memories of that trip seem vague in hindsight, and it was just a few days, but it was nice: pretty spring weather, quite warm in the end, but the greenery still fresh and blossoming. Instagram reminds me there were also Eric Kayser sandwiches, I saw an interesting museum I hadn't been to and overate on my birthday. Bought some skincare as usual, but not much else, I think. And in early September, did a day trip to Helsinki again after not having been there for several years, it was interesting to see how things had, or had not changed, also lovely weather, but it felt a bit odd particularly with the kitten waiting at home alone (he was fine; I know for a fact he's pretty non-neurotic, stable and self-confident as far as cats go, but I still worry about him missing us, etc.).

On the upside, the summer was nice, I think, although the heat was a bit much for a while and there was work stress, but I managed to enjoy gardening, etc., and some socializing. I did waste a lot of June on being unwell though, having picked up a bastard of a viral cold from the coast of the Pacific that became monstrous on my trip back from the US and gave me an incredible combo of eye and ear and throat infection, had to go to emergency care with my eyes swollen af and leaking globs of pus-like gunk, could barely speak for a bit and had hearing problems for weeks, and had to take 3 kinds of antibiotics (eye drops and pills) to get back to normal. So that was a whole ride. And on top of that, since the summer was kind of strenuous with lots of physical work involved, my knees could eventually not take it any longer and in October I had to go to emergency care for a second time when my right knee became swollen and I could barely walk. Pills fixed it fast, thankfully. I should get a more thorough checkup with an MRI, but it'll be a hassle. And to finish the shitty health year in style, got Covid for the second time in December (it was mild and I didn't even test positive, but a family member eventually did). The only upside is that between being stressed and sick, I ended up losing a noticeable amount of weight despite eating whatever the f I wanted, including disgraceful amounts of sugar.

As far as hobbies go, I kept at hunting for fantastic second-hand clothes and footwear, and finding joy in dressing well, as well as indulging my inner plant person; my orchids, old and new, all bloomed, and I kept buying more. Thankfully the cat only destroyed one of my plants, an already ailing adiantum raddianum, and appears to have lost interest in the rest. I have however barely watched any series, nvm films the entire year, which is something I should try to fix.

No dramatic promises for 2023, but eating better is something I'll try to put effort into. And ffs, driving school.

[inosukeslefttoe]

OKAY OKAY SO,,, its late and i should either be sleeping or finishing my friends birthday gift… BUT ,,, i watched the first ep of To Your Eternity today and my GOD it was… oh lord i already know this is going to be on my top list immediately. and i watched it in the middle of class like an idiot and didnt even have time to properly cry so now its nightime and im aggressively typing about it on tumblr like a responsible adult B) so obviously,, EP ONE OF TO YOUR ETERNITY SPOILERS !!! ,, okay first of all i gotta do the mandatory HOLY SHIT THIS ART IS SO PRETTY AND ADDS EVEN MORE EMOTION DEAR GOD ITS SO GORGEOUS AND HEART WRENCHING DKHGKGN but tbh i wasnt even focused on the art for this one i was just so wrapped up in the story. but the first ep introduces the orb that came to earth and took the form of a rock. it gained experience through this and saw a wolf die and then became the wolf. throughout the first episode the orb was a wolf which was pretty rad !! and the wolf happened to belong to an unnamed boy living in the snow,.. and oh my god idk what it is about stories about lonliness but… THAT SHIT HIT DIFFERENT YKNOW ?? the boys whole family was uh… in some sort of village far away… and he wanted to hike with his dog, joann, to go find them. they followed paths created by the ppl before them only to find the village…. completely destoryed and abandoned in the snow… . and of course our lil boy breaks down and then heads back home with joann where he uh,,, dies shorlty after… and then the orb takes on his form !! good gracious… i didnt think i could get so attached to a character so quickly but i am shaking and on the verge of tears thinking about him. he showed joann drawings of his family and was like “u better not forget !!” while then making a joke about how it was really himself that he didnt want to forget… and this was the first time we saw that bit of vulnerable desperation that this poor boy was trying to hide. it came out more along his journey with joann. he ran into to several hardships and even passed out several times and sustained many injuries yet he always picked himself back up with a smile. He also chatted with joann throughout the episode in what i assumed to the precious bond between man and dog but. he was alsways smiling and always looking at the bright side. even upon finding the villages remains, he claimed to be happy that people were there at some point… but then he broke. AND I ALMOST DID TOO. he cried and yelled and realized just how alone he was in the world. his life was meaningless and all he had was himself and his wolf who he couldnt even talk to. his family was gone and so was all hope of finding another better life and now he was stranded with nowhere to go. luckily him and joann were able to make it back to his original house but the damage had been done. he barely smiled and he only halfheartedly talked to joann. in his final moments he dragged himself out of bed and sat in his chair claiming that itd be embarassing for his family to come home and find him pathetically curled up in bed… so he wanted to look his best…BESTIE…I COULD NOT TAKE THAT…. i dunno if it was just the extreme isolation of that or if it was because of his denial of reality or just the bizarre concept and emotional music and art but.. idk dude smthn hasnt hit that hard in a while and i am absolutely obsessed. there was just something so heartbreaking about watching this happy energetic lovely boy slowly deteriorate into acceptance of the life he knew he was doomed to live… and knowing theres no hope for him since the beginning… and like ?? his dog wasnt even actually his dog bro ?? just another sentient force watching his detioration like the rest of us. i feel like i couldnt really articulate my feelings towards this as well as i wanted since i feel rushed and tired but i hope i still got smthn across :D OMG ALSO .. WHEN HE DIED THERE WAS A SCENE OF HIM REUNITING WITH HIS FAMILY AND BEING SO GENUINELY EXCITED AND HAPPY LIKE HOW HE WAS WHEN HE FIRST SAW JOANN AGAIN AFTER A FEW MONTHS AND HE WAS JUST SO FILLED WITH LOVE AND HOPE AND HE RAN INTO THEIR ARMS AND GHKDGDNG he is too good for this world and i adore him so much and just wish he couldve lived the happy and lovely life he deserved… in conclusion… if u throw me an anime character filled with love and hope and then u take that away from them and they fight and fight for it but are eventually broken…( or vice versa )… you will literally have ALL OF MY TEARS AND ALL OF MY MONEY… UPDATE: APPARENTLY THE ORB PUT THE BOY SITTING UP BACK IN HIS CHAIR BEFORE HE LEFT AND I JUST NCBDJFJD ITS TOO MUCH IM GONE

#to your eternity #anime review #manga review #seinen anime #fushi #to your eternity fushi #anime recommendation #good lord i need to cry myself to sleep now

[meetmeatthecoda]

I absolutely ♥️ADORE♥️ Scripted and would love to read your director’s commentary for it!

Oh, anon!! 😍 I'm SO THRILLED that you loved Scripted so much, that makes me so happy!! 🥰 Especially that you loved it enough to want to read my "director's commentary" (that phrase makes me laugh, you'd think I created a feature length film all by myself 🤣), so I think I'll skim through the fic - it's been a while since I re-read it - & make a bullet-point list of any special BTS info I can think of 😊 Anddd I'll also put it under a read more cause you know me, I never use one word when one hundred will do 😂

So, the fic itself was inspired by the ending of 5.08 where Liz wakes from her coma to Red reading to her in an armchair as he had been for the past 10 months, it's fine, I'm fine but she still has a ventilator in so she can't talk & instead has to write "how long?" on a piece of paper & her handwriting is super shake-y bc her muscles are so weak (I think Red even helps her hold the pen? It's clearly been a while since I re-watched the ep whoops but ugh, be still my heart.) For some reason, I just latched onto the idea of a mute Liz, really suffering with the implications of everything she went through (since her recovery was so glossed over in the show boo) & Red 1000% being there for her. Mostly, I just wanted to dive into the dynamic of Liz letting Red care for her the way he's always wanted to (without Tom & Agnes btw) to the point where their relationship is unhealthy in its reliance, but neither can see it bc Liz is blocking things out (& unknowingly falling in love with him) & Red is just so thrilled to be able to love & care for her (while already deeply in love with her obvi). So yeah, that was the kind of dynamic & closeness I wanted to explore between them & it was... really fun 😊

The idea of the coma providing the perspective Liz needed to see that Red has always had her best interests at heart & clearly loves her (in addition to the fact that he never left her side or gave up during those 10 months lol peak romance tbh) seemed very organic & logical to me.

I liked the idea of Red & Liz playing board games as a way to pass the time & get to know each other better. It's the kind of casual interaction we were never gifted with in the show & I think they're both competitive in the right circumstances, even if its playfully so.

I liked the idea of Liz being urged to learn ASL, as I'm deaf in one ear & would dearly love to learn it at some point.

The detail of Red sleeping on a cot close enough to Liz's hospital bed that they can hold hands in their sleep was a total guilty pleasure addition & I'm not sorry.

I loved the scene in the beginning where Red is talking to Dembe on the phone in the hallway & Liz is practicing her letters. She's purely doing it so Red doesn't worry & I loved the idea of her being apathetic to everything except Red's concerns, plus I added in the parenthetical of (Red sometimes squints at her k's.) bc I thought it represented that well, but also bc it was just cute af. I also added the little detail of him waving at her through the window at the last minute bc I thought the scene needed something else & once I pictured that, it was too adorable to leave out.

Red handling all the details of Liz's care & transportation without asking (bc he instinctively knew that's what Liz wanted) only to turn around & panic about excluding her seemed like a very RED thing to do & I like how it emphasizes his well-meaning intentions, respect for her preferences, & desire to see her happy, even if she did actually want to leave him lol as if.

I liked the visual of Liz stumbling into Red's arms as she stands from her hospital bed to leave with him (sets a precedent for later) & I also loved the visual of a pen in her ponytail & of course Red using it to flirt a little bc come on.

I remember struggling to write the car ride transition to the lake house. I usually get ideas & visions for specific scenes, moments, or bits of dialogue, so those kind of transition moments are hard for me sometimes. But I liked that I settled on Red helping to ground Liz through touch (again, sets a precedent for later).

Red & Liz playing hangman in the car with Red using the word "fedora" & drawing a suited hangman made me giggle.

I can see the lake house very clearly in my mind, complete with the willow tree, bench, & tiny house (included bc I desperately want a tiny house in real life) & I really enjoyed describing the interior & imagining the joy Red would get out of decorating it with Liz in mind.

Their first night in the house where Liz has her nightmare & Red comforts her - that was a scene I had in mind very early on & I love how it turned out, especially with Liz mouthing "stay with me" into Red's neck, that part gave me All The Feels™.

The "morning after" scene where Liz realizes on some level that she's too dependent on Red is an important moment in the fic & the off-hand detail that at least "she's not going around murdering people & calling it therapy" was a bit of shade to Ruin (which I don't think I ever saw bc I was kind of appalled with the idea lol) I think I posted Scripted after Ruin aired... if not, I guess I'm psychic?? LOL

The breakfast scene - & the fact that Red is preparing every breakfast food known to man bc he's nervous too - is near & dear to my heart. I think that's a pretty pivotal scene since they kind of reach an unspoken agreement & peace &... "things settle after that first breakfast."

I liked the teeny little parenthetical section that comes next as well, which acts as a sort of middle point for the fic.

The next large chunk of the fic was pure indulgence for me. I LOVED writing about all the different things they would do together when it was just the two of them, it was basically a collection of Lizzington headcanons & that's how I sketched them out LOL Here's some notes on them:

I came up with the jigsaw puzzle headcanon (that Liz is bored by them bc they're easy for her bc she's a trained psychologist & easily sees patterns in things) late in the editing process but loved it so much that I included it.

Liz's sandwich preference is actually mine LOL

The Monopoly banter was fun af to write bc I love that game.

The love notes Liz leaves around the house for Red is still an all-time favorite headcanon of mine.

I loved the idea of Red reading to Liz in a foreign language, holding the book only for looks, but not actually reading from it at all & instead professing his love for her. I think I've even used that headcanon in another fic LOL

Their movie nights were also something I was dying to include, especially since they include snacks & cuddles.

Their co-sleeping habits were also something I wanted to include & Liz's newly tactile nature is both a symptom of her dependence on Red & also a guilty pleasure thing for me bc we all wanted more of Red & Liz touching on screen, plus I felt obligated to explain through Red that it wasn't sexual in nature (though if I ever get around to writing part 2, that will change 😉)

Dembe being the one to observe & interfere in their situation was an early scene I imagined as well, that was always going to be the climax of the fic (or at least part 1). I so enjoyed writing about Red & Liz's relationship through his eyes bc he just loves them both & only wants to help them.

Another pivotal scene I imagined early on was Liz having a panic attack with Dembe when she discovers Red has left & that was super engaging to write, as well as the reunion between them which... I pretty much wrote the whole fic with the goal of getting to that lovely angst LOL

Red's resolve to finally urge Liz to speak was heart-breaking to write (so naturally I loved it lol what's wrong with me) & in particular the detail of them eating fruit for lunch before he broaches the topic with her & the parenthetical about it being "a sign from the cosmos that they are meant to be together just because they don't eat each other's favorite fruit" made my heart happy even tho it's stupid LOL & when Red asks her if she would ever try to speak again & she responds with a simple written "Why?" that was a huge moment that I loved the angst of, of course. As well as the absolutely gutting: "Lizzie, I miss your voice."

I liked that Liz needs some time to think & accept everything Red forces her to realize at the end, that was super important to me in the resolution of the fic/part 1 & I tried really hard to include both their mentalities there at the end.

The fact that Red hasn't had a drink since he started caring for Liz also made my shipping heart happy.

And - lastly - the fact that the only thing Liz actually says in the whole fic is Red's name? Yeah 🥲🥲🥲

Welp, there you go, anon, I'm not sure if that was interesting to you at all, but I certainly hope so!! I know that was a lot but... it's a long fic, my longest ever, so I figure it's warranted, right?? 😂 Anyway, thank you so much, both for the compliment of loving Scripted AND for wanting to read more about it, anon, you are so sweet!! 🥰 I hope you enjoyed this & much, much love to you, my friend!! ❤️

Fanfic Writers: Director's Cut

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #fanfic #Scripted #ask game #fanfic writers: director's cut #mine #ask #anon #thank you so much for this my friend!! #:D #i hope you enjoyed this #:) #much much love to you!! #<3

[moldy-mold]

Hello! It’s already May... Life updates - a roller coaster of emotions

A tempestuous, tearful April... Aghh the struggle has not eased up a bit. Living is just too expensive to be shouldered by part-time wages, meager freelance, and fickle confidence. My parents are disappointed - I’ve always tried to dodge the questions about my uncertain future. After all, I don’t have any answers.

What nearly broke my spirit was the humiliating scolding I received on my birthday. “You’re almost 30. Stop playing around at the cafe, don’t you know your bank account is nearly empty? How will you pay for this? If you can’t afford car insurance then just bike to work!” I didn’t even have time to think about how inconsiderate that was. In a daze, I hung up and went to my second part-time job that day.

Well, Dad, those are the questions I asked myself every single day. All I can do is keep trying even if you don’t believe in me. Because, despite everything, I still believe in myself.

Nothing good will come out of asking these punishing questions. I don’t know if things will get better or worse. Just gotta do what I can to get by as a small creature existing in this universe.

I learned to stop blaming myself for not being successful. Given the circumstances, I think the odds are stacked pretty high against most of us right now.

“Banish the nonsense. Some questions will ruin you if you are denied the answer long enough.” - Annihilation

--

I’ve begun my investment journey! After studying how it all works I have come to understand the value of investing. It was one of my resolutions for this year and I’m glad I’ve achieved it.

My brother, a crypto enthusiast, knows my monetary plight and has been helping me out in the weirdest ways.

6 am text: “Hey Sis, you got $1000? Put it into Dogecoin... like NOW.”

I don’t like doing these kinds of high-risk-high-reward investments but what the heck, I was desperate. I applied for an account that can trade crypto.

In the end my account got rejected (there was no explanation) and I gave up. Because of course that would happen lol.

--

“Hey, do you have time to talk about the future?” “UM... are we breaking up???” “LOL don’t say it like that!”

My roommate / best friend decided she wanted to move to her own place and find her own way in life. Of course, my fragile heart, still tender from the previous month’s beating, took it very personally. I was reassured it wasn’t my fault - there are plenty of other valid reasons why.

We’ve been sharing an apartment for 6 years now, and although I knew it would happen someday, it was quite shocking to hear it being said to me in reality. At first, I laughed it off because I’ve been dreaming about moving out of the country anyway and it all works out. I’m an introverted, neat-freak, homebody! It’s perfect! But after a very pensive shower, I realized that I’m actually terrified to be without any companionship. Either way, I have to put my feelings aside because I don’t wanna hold her back from her dreams. I may have trouble accepting it now but hopefully I can genuinely be happy for her in time.

--

The Plant Life Please welcome Rokurou, the newest addition to my jungle.

It’s been a few weeks and he totally ate bugs already lol. Nice! I was thinking the smaller traps wouldn’t catch anything, but it turns out they’ve been doing the most work. The larger traps can’t catch ants or tiny gnats. They just crawl out after the trap snaps shut.

This venus fly trap is rather picky about what water he gets so I’ve been out there collecting rainwater in buckets JUST for him! Kind of a pain, but I will do whatever it takes to keep him alive.

It was a very tiny dream of mine to collect and care for carnivorous plants. If the shop had more varieties, I would probably buy them all.

--

I thought I was gonna die... Hostess for a day. One day while working at the cafe, this old Chinese man came in asking how much I made here. Then he told me if I work as a hostess/front desk person at his restaurant (which was next to the cafe, by the way), he will pay me more than the cafe. He slipped me $5 to go see him after my shift at 9pm. It was soooooo sketch. But I went anyway to at least hear him out after telling my roommate and my parents where I was going. You know... in case I die.

Luckily I didn’t die. It was a normal Chinese restaurant. I met the staff and they were all super cool and the mysterious old man goes by Mr. Lin.

Mr. Lin was very chill about it. He said I can have a trial run after my bakery shift on Saturday. If I don’t like it, I can just tell him no and he will pay me for my time.

I knew it was a bad idea to take another shift after a long shift at the cafe but I did it anyway. It was BUSY. Too busy for anyone to teach me how to be a hostess so I literally just had to guess what I’m supposed to be doing. It was kinda obvious though, showing people to their tables. I picked them at random bc I didn’t know if there was a method to seating people or not.

There are three different menus: Chinese, Korean and English and they’re ALL different. Depending on the nationality of who walks in, I have to decide for myself which menu to hand out. Uhhhhh despite being Asian myself, I cannot tell the difference between Korean and Chinese people lmao so I have to keep awkwardly asking people which menu they want. *screams*

The manager, Vincent, is so OP though. He knows exactly which menu to get every time. I was like HOW DO YOU KNOW?? He only responded with “working in the business for 24 years.”

Anyway, it was a long and confusing night of people thinking I am a waitress and me not knowing where the spoons are. But I don’t think this job is for me, even if it pays a lot.

There sure is plenty of demand for part-time food service workers and zero demand for full-time graphic designers... sigh. My journey doing random jobs in 2021 continues.

--

My brother graduated pharmacy school last week. In our culture, the older sibling’s shoulders is where all the expectations should rest. Maybe in another AU I would feel small and inferior to my younger and more successful sibling. But I don’t feel anything like that. In fact, if he can take care of my parents while I’m trying to figure out my own life, then I’m just more grateful to him. Maybe my parents don’t expect anything of me anymore, which is okay. Either way, my brother and I have each other’s backs.

--

Berseria I went into it with ZERO expectations because of its infamous predecessor, but I have come out pleasantly surprised. I liked it more than I thought. I’m at the end but I’m not done with the story yet.

I remember expressing my utter confusion about Zesty and everyone was like “play Berseria, it will answer a majority of your questions.” And boy, it did and I’m so glad. I loved all the throwbacks and references and lore that had to do with the previous game. Like, they really had something interesting going on here but it never quite came to fruition last time.

Is it just me, or did it take a very long time to understand all the battle mechanics? Like... I didn’t get the hang of the game until we got to Meirchio. Now I am quite good at playing Rokurou, my main. And it feels way more fun. I usually like mage characters in the old tales games but tbh I wasn’t really into it this time.

After we finish Bersy, we will be moving on to Xillia 2, our final Tales game! Gaius, I’m coming for you.

--

Xenoblade At the same time, I am also finishing up Xenoblade after spending nearly a year on it. I have weeks where I’m just grinding the side quests to unlock the skill trees. When I’m down, traveling and exploring in this game puts my worries to rest. Really though, the maps are so beautiful... And the music! T_T

This is one of the few games where I like every character pretty much equally, though Dundun and Riki win by just a little bit.

--

That’s it for now. Thanks for being here!

#diary

[jksmoongf]

Baby’s Breath [pt.8]

Pairing: (idol!dad!) Jungkook x reader  Genre: angst / fluff /smut  Wordcount: 8.1k Plot:  Sometimes one reckless night is all it takes to completely turn your life upside down. But what if you can’t even trust your best friends to keep your secret? Warning pt.8: drama, awkward!jk ( a hard fave), just some baby fluff if you squint.  A/N: so it’s been a long time since I last updated BB (I’m kinda nervous tbh) but now that KF is finished, I’m finally getting back to it. I hope someone still reads this but probably not lol.  As always, feedback would be nice, my loves! 💕 I wanna thank @struggleofarmy​ for always helping me :( D. you are angel, without you I’d probably never write anything and ily 💕

The car came to a halt; she watched as Jungkook hastily unbuckled his seatbelt and stumbled out of the car. He felt the need to run - to run as far away from his life as he possibly could but his legs gave out when his feet sank into the sand, falling to his knees. He didn’t even try to get up, cowering down as he hid his face in his hands.

How was he supposed to feel okay again? His whole life took a complete 180; the universe had pulled the carpet from underneath his feet as he had tried to make things right for his little family. Not for one second did he have any bad intentions, he just wanted everyone to be happy but it all backfired.  

All this hurt inside his chest really sucked the energy out of him; from day one the other members had looked after him, comforted him when he needed them, he had learned everything he knew from them and for them to betray him like this, was too much for him to handle. His heart was crumbling to pieces, bits floating in his body - and he knew they would never find their way back to repair the cracks.

Why did they have to betray him like that? He always tried his best to make them proud, and although he knew he wasn’t perfect, he was there for them to comfort them, to cheer them on, to listen to their worries. Was it all his fault that they went behind his back? Did they only care about themselves and their career and not at all about his happiness? His right hand balled into a fist, repeatedly hitting the sand.

His stomach churned, when his mind wandered off to the headlines when people eventually found out about him leaving the group, bile forced its way up into his mouth. He didn’t want the fans to hate him for leaving but for the first time in a long time, he had to put himself first. He wanted to see his little girl grow up, he wanted to be there on her first day of kindergarten and school; he wanted to go dance recitals and pick her up from school. He wanted to sing her to sleep and comfort her when she was upset. He wanted to help her blow out her birthday candles and see her eyes light up when unwrapping presents. He just wanted to be there for every important moment in her life; even the small ones that people always tend to forget but he seemed to remember those the most. 

The thought of being a father had scared him to death when y/n had confessed to him that she was pregnant but now he would’ve given everything to turn back time, just so he could be there for her; holding her hand through all of it - he had been too weak, too selfish back then. But maybe it wasn’t too late to make things right, he would be there for her, for his daughter, no matter what; even if it meant to give up his dream. He would be okay as long as he could be with them.

“Kookie…” Y/n said softly, her hand rubbing circles on his back. “Baby…hey.” She managed to pull him up, his eyes were puffy and red from crying, lips quivering, she brushed his hair from his face. “It’s cold, we need to get you somewhere warm, okay?”

But Jungkook didn’t feel the ice-cold breeze that was seeping through his clothes, everything inside him was numbed to protect the last bits of his heart from breaking. “No..” He yelped, his voice too weak for any real protest but to his surprise, she sat down next to him. “Okay.” Carefully she wrapped her arm around his torso. “We can just stay here for a bit.”

Shakily he exhaled, as his eyes closed more tears seeped from them without his consent. Her fingers intertwined with his, his head was resting on her shoulder as he listened to the calming ocean waves hitting the shoreline.

At that moment he knew that everything would be okay again; they could start over and be happy together- they would fight all the odds that were against them. No one was going to keep them apart; not his company and not his brothers - he so desperately tried to push them to very back of his mind. If he just stopped thinking about them, they wouldn’t be able to hurt him any further.

With his sleeve, he wiped the tears from his cheeks, eyes still fixated on the ocean. “I-I’m sorry I dragged you out here…” He whispered after a little while. “But we had to go, we couldn’t stay in Seoul. They were going to separate us again.” “Who?” “The others told the boss about you and me and he told me I wasn’t allowed to talk to you ever again because it would ruin my career…” Deeply he sucked in a salty breath of air to stop the hiccuped sobs that were piling up in his chest. “He threatened to stop giving you money if I broke the rules and I just snapped…” He trailed off, trying to find the right words to describe what had happened a few hours ago. “I yelled at them…I pushed Jimin, I didn’t care that I hurt him…I just wanted to know which one of them rammed a knife in my back and wanted to take you away from me again…” Closing his eyes to stop the tears from escaping again, he tightened his fingers around her hand. “I-I just can’t believe they would do this to me, they are my family.” “You know they love you, Kookie. They just wanted to protect you, don’t be too hard on them.”

He pulled away, shaking his head. “No, they don’t deserve it. They wanted me to be miserable again, they wanted me to go through all this pain of losing you again.”

“I don’t think that was their intention, they worry about you and they only want what’s best for you.” She tried again to make him see that others were just looking out for him but he ferociously shook his head once more. “Then why can’t they accept that you’re what’s best for me?”

She didn’t say anything, only taking her bottom lip in between her teeth; not wanting to make him feel pressured when he was so upset, knowing him well enough to be sure that he would come around sooner rather than later. He had to forgive them, after all, they were a big part of his life, one screw up surely wouldn’t ruin the bond between them.

For a little while longer she let him rest, just listening to the ocean, hoping that it would wash away his sorrows. “Kookie…” She mumbled, shifting in her spot trying to suppress the shivers that were about to riddle her body. “Can we go back to the car? We need to check on Soo-Yun…” “Oh, yes. Yes, of course.” Within seconds he had gotten up and also pulled her to her feet. “Let’s go.” She smiled, holding her hand out for him to take. Carefully he intertwined his fingers with hers, following her to the silver SUV.

“Why did you leave her in the car?” The question was burning on the tip of his tongue. “I- it’s too cold for her and she was sleeping, so I didn’t want to wake her up. But I-I also wanted to give you some time alone…before I went to check on you…” She rambled, not looking at him.

Without giving it any thought, he stopped in his tracks, pulling her back to face him. His shaking hands cupped her face, thumbs gently caressing her cheeks before he crashed his lips onto hers; the tingling sensation of her warmth making his heart flutter. He knew it would be too soon to say those three words that held so much meaning but he needed her to know that he was still in love with her - hoping she would feel the desperation that had been caged up in his chest. She pulled away, cherishing the warmth his hands provided on her cold skin. “What was that for?” “I’m just happy to have you back in my life. I really missed you.” He knew, he’d be able to blame the cold air for tinting his cheeks and ears red in embarrassment.

Clutching his sweater, she got on her toes to peck his lips once more. “You’ll have such a hard time getting rid off me now…” He puffed up his cheeks, letting out a grunt. “Can’t believe you’re making me say those things…” “What things?” “Cheesy things…” He tilted his head. “You know I’m not good at that.” “It’s okay, you can always just text them to me if that’s easier for you.” She winked, before turning around to open the car door. “She’s still asleep, thank goodness.”

Jungkook peeked over her shoulder; Soo-Yun was still sound asleep, the tiniest snores he had ever heard, leaving her mouth. “Can you believe we made her?” He said in awe, still having a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that he took part in creating the most beautiful little girl he had ever laid his eyes on.

“Well, yeah she was inside my stomach for 9 months and gave me a really hard time sleeping. She was a night owl just like you…” His hands subconsciously wandered to her shoulders, gently applying pressure. “I should’ve been there for you, I’m sorry.” “You’re here now, that’s all that matters.” Her hand closed around his on her shoulder. “Kookie, please stop feeling guilty, you didn’t know.” “If I- I should’ve reacted differently and none of this would’ve happened.”

She turned around, now cupping his face. “Listen, I’m not mad at you and I’ll never hold it against you so please stop apologizing. You’re going to be a part of her life and that’s all I ever wanted for her.” He nodded, feeling tears brimming in his eyes - hoping that eventually, the overwhelming feeling of guilt would subside.

*

“Okay, the tank is filled up.” Jungkook shivered as he got back into the driver’s seat, rubbing his hands together for warmth. “Where do you want to go?” “I don’t know, I was thinking we could go to my place in Jeonju but…” She trailed off, tracing the rim of the window to her right. “We shouldn’t. I’m sure that’s where they’re going to look for us first.” “I mean, my parents’ house is not too far from here…” He muttered, finally revealing to her what he had wanted to do ever since he had left the dorm. “It’s only a little over an hour to Busan…” “Don’t you think they’ll come looking for you there too?” “Probably yeah but do you have a better idea? At least my parents can help us and it would be easier to take care of Soo-Yun there instead of hotel rooms and they could meet you…finally”

She scrunched up her nose. “Okay, yeah…let’s go to Busan.” Not able to bring herself to crush his newfound sense of positivity, she agreed. Jungkook leaned over the middle console to kiss her cheek. “I’m just going to let my brother know that we’re coming.”

Forcing a smile onto her face, she nodded. It didn’t feel good; she didn’t want to burden his family with her presence and surprise them with a grandchild they didn’t know about. It made her stomach feel queasy as her leg bobbed up and down nervously. She knew his parents had known about their relationship but they had never met and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to meet them under these circumstances.

“Ah, I hope my mom has some food for us, I’m so hungry.” He beamed as he started the car up again - it was almost like he had forgotten all his troubles at the prospect of seeing his family and she couldn’t help but softly smile at his excitement.

Every now and again her eyes drifted off to Naver Maps on Jungkook’s phone on the dashboard, focusing in on the small timestamp that disclosed their time of arrival at his parents’ house; the nauseous feeling still swimming in her stomach, was slowly rising up in her throat.

“Is everything okay? You’re awfully quiet…” He muttered, not averting his gaze from the road. She wanted to lie and tell him that she was fine but her mouth betrayed her before she could bite her tongue. “I’m nervous.” “Why?” Judging by the tone of his voice, it didn’t occur to him that it was a weird situation and that everything that had happened on that day felt simply overwhelming. “I’ve never met your family…and under these circumstances - it’s just making me nervous.”

“Ah, they’ll love you, my parents are really cool. You don’t have to worry about anything. They will be so happy to finally meet you and Soo-Yun and Junghyun is really excited that we’re coming.” For a brief second, he smiled at her, his right hand leaving the steering wheel to give hers an encouraging squeeze.

“Okay…” She mumbled, forcing a smile onto her face. Maybe Jungkook wasn’t aware of the implications of him bringing her and their daughter to meet his parents; maybe he was in over his head and he couldn’t think straight. “I’m being serious! Please don’t be worried, I know my parents will be over the moon when they meet you.” “Sure yeah…” But before Jungkook could try to calm her down, even more, Soo-Yun started whining in her car seat. She turned around, simultaneously sending a prayer up to the gods for the distraction. “I think she’s hungry.” “How do you know?” “I can just tell from the way she cries…” Shrugging her shoulders, she fished the small box of crackers from her bag that Jungkook had bought at the gas station. “Really? Do you think I’ll be able to do that too?” He wondered, watching his daughter munch on one of the wheat crackers in her hands in the rearview-mirror. “Probably, yes.” Turning back around, she offered the box to Jungkook. “Do you want one?” He nodded his head, and she held one up to his mouth so he wouldn’t get distracted from driving. “I’ll have to feed her when we get there…” Jungkook handed her his phone without warning. “Text my brother that we’ll be there in 15 minutes and let him know that we’re hungry.”

She gulped down the lump in her throat when she quickly read the Kakao chat, even in writing he sounded really excited to go home and although he only mentioned a surprise to his older brother, he seemed just as happy that his little brother was coming home for a little while.

*

Jimin let out a disgruntled noise when he sat up in bed, his back was still sore from when Jungkook had pushed him. His hand automatically flew to apply pressure to the bruise that decorated his skin next to his spine.

“Jungkookie…” He mumbled to himself, as he got up, his face scrunched up in pain and he slowly waddled down the hallway to the youngest room. He had locked himself in and wouldn’t come out or make any noise, even after Jin had told him that there were leftovers in the fridge for him if he wanted something to eat, Jungkook had stayed quiet. Jimin knew he was hurt; someone had stabbed him in the back but he couldn’t help it - his heart felt heavy for his little brother. He just wanted him to be happy and so did the other members but to Jimin’s dismay, Jungkook’s behavior had left a sour taste in their mouths. He had stayed up until the early hours of the morning in hopes of catching Jungkook sneaking into the kitchen which would have given him the perfect chance to talk to him and maybe straighten things out, but it never happened. His feelings must have been seriously hurt if he shut them all out completely.

Carefully Jimin knocked on the door. “Hey Jungkook-ah, are you awake? Can we talk?” He asked his voice piping up in hopes that some sleep would’ve helped to calm things down and make the youngest act more rationally and maybe he would be willing to listen. But he got no response, so instead, he pressed his ear to the wooden door, trying to hear if he was awake yet.

“Screw it…” His hand slowly pushed down the door handle and to his surprise, it actually swung open. “Jungkook-ah?” He asked again, taking a few steps into the room, his eyes looking for the raven-haired boy but his bed was still made and he was nowhere to be found. The first thought that popped into his head was that Jungkook might have gone to the gym to release his anger lifting weights but his gym shoes were still lying on the floor next to the black backpack he always carried around.

“Something’s not right…” Jimin crossed the room, inspecting the wide-open closet. A few hangers were sticking out, others were scattered on the floor. It was very unlike Jungkook to make a mess of his closet, yes his room was always a little messy but he kept his closet remarkably tidy, even color-coding his shirts.

“Jimin-ah, what are you doing?” Hoseok’s voice made him spin around, only to see his roommate standing right behind him, a coffee mug in hand. “Where’s Jungkookie?”

“I don’t know, I wanted to check on him but he wasn’t in here…”

“Maybe he went to the gym?” Hoseok suggested, shrugging his shoulders.

“That’s what I thought too but something is very off…” Jimin let his eyes wander around the room. “You see all the hangers?” He mumbled absentmindedly when his eyes fell on the small collection of backpacks in the corner. “His army backpack is gone…”

“What? How do you know?” Hoseok peeked over his shoulder.

“He always keeps his bags there and it’s the only one missing…” Jimin’s mind was racing, making his heart rate speed up. “I think…hyung...I think he left…”

“Maybe he just needed to get out for a bit to clear his head? I’m sure he will be back soon.”

Jimin nodded, not wanting to worry the older boy but a bad feeling was stirring up in the pit of his stomach. No matter how bad their fights had been in the past, Jungkook had never left, not like this at least - making him feel sick.

*

“Look, that’s where my friend Kangdae from school lives. We used to go to Taekwondo together.” Jungkook pointed at a house as they drove past it in the dark. “And that’s where I fell because I was wearing Junghyun’s skates and they were too big and I scraped my knee pretty badly.”

She couldn’t help but chuckle at how happy he was to be back home and to share a part of his life with her that she had only ever heard him mention a handful of times. He always said that he didn’t have a lot of memories from home and that his life as a trainee was more memorable to him but it was heartwarming to hear his little recollections of his childhood in Busan. Fondly she ran her fingers through his hair. “You’re so cute…maybe you can show me around and tell me more stories…” She suggested, earning an enthusiastic nod from him. “I’d love to, we can take Soo-Yun with us…you know so she knows where I grew up.” “Oh! I-we didn’t take the stroller with us.” She gasped, wanting to slap herself for forgetting one of the most important things. “Don’t worry, we’ll just buy one.” Even in the dark car, his eyes twinkled like stars in the night sky and everything seemed okay for just one moment.

Jungkook turned the engine off. “That’s my house…” He proudly announced, gesturing to the modest house on the right side. “Oh, I gotta text my brother…” Quickly he grabbed his phone when the door opened.

In a daze, she watched Jungkook getting out of the car as fast as he could and running up to his brother.  After unbuckling her seatbelt, she slowly got out of the car but hesitantly stayed still next to it, wanting to give him and his family a moment of happiness before she had a chance to ruin it. “Mom! Dad! Come here!” His brother called over his shoulder before ruffling Jungkook’s hair. “I haven’t told them you’re coming.”

Moments later his parents appeared in the doorway and his mother let out a squeal, pulling her son into a bone-crushing hug. “You look so thin.” She scolded him lovingly, cupping his cheeks in her hands before her eyes narrowed and she could feel goosebumps travel down her skin when their eyes met for the first time.

“Ah, right. I-…” Jungkook paused, rushing to her side. “Come on, they won’t bite you.” He mumbled, only holding her hand a second before he let go. “I want you to meet y/n.” He grinned, gently nudging her to take a step forward to properly meet his family but he immediately left her side again.

“It’s very nice to meet you.” Forcing the corners of her mouth upwards before she bowed, her legs wanting to run in the opposite direction. “Y/n…” The resenting tone of his mother’s voice was petrifying - she knew that she had broken her son’s heart into a million pieces over a year ago. “Nice to finally meet you.” Junghyun smiled, the all too familiar crinkles around his eyes forming but before he could say anything else, his mother stood in front of her, hands on her hips, a stern look on her face.  “I don’t want a dirty girl like you around my son. Leave.”

Y/n’s eyes darted from Junghyun to Jungkook’s father who was silently pressing his lips together,  perhaps he didn’t want to argue with his wife or maybe, he wanted her to leave as well - it was posing more than difficult to read his facial expressions. She felt awful, her heart falling from her chest down to her stomach; she knew that coming here was a bad idea - why did Jungkook think that his family would welcome her, the girl that hurt him so badly, with open arms? “Mom, I think it’s a little too late for that…” Her older son chuckled when footsteps were heard right behind them.

“I’m assuming you don’t want to meet your granddaughter then…” Jungkook slowly walked up to them, Soo-Yun propped upon his arm, the other tightly wrapped around her as she held onto his neck. Her big eyes wearily evaluating the tense situation. “We can go somewhere else, all three of us need to be welcome, mom.”

“Gr-granddaughter?” His father repeated in disbelief, staring at the small child in his youngest son’s arms. “Yes, this is your granddaughter.” “Aw, she’s so cute.” Junghyun made grabby hands at his niece, waiting for his brother to let him hold her. “She surely gets her beauty from her uncle!” He made cooing noises at her. “Yes, you do. Ah, she’s so cute, my heart.” Soo-Yun giggled, as he held her closer to his face to get a good look at her and her hand grabbed a chunk of his hair.  “You are the prettiest little girl.”

His mother cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure; still not fully able to wrap her head around what was happening. “Are you even sure she’s yours?” She addressed Jungkook while side-eying the baby, who was happily babbling along to the cooing and kissy-faces.

“Mom, just look at her. She looks just like Jungkookie!” Junghyun held his niece up to his mother’s face and her expression softened immediately. Although she was hellbent on disliking the girl that broke her son’s heart, she couldn’t deny the fact that this little girl looked so much like him when he was a baby - from the little button nose down to the big brown eyes that she had always adored on her son.

“I know, I hurt Jungkook when I broke up with him and I understand that you don’t like me but…”

“Y/n, don’t.” Jungkook interrupted her. “Mom, she’s mine and if you can’t accept y/n or Soo-Yun then we’ll leave. I thought you’d be more understanding but I guess, I was wrong.” Without waiting for an answer, he took his daughter from his brother before turning around to go back to the car. “Let’s go.”

“Mom!” Junghyun’s tone was pressing, fearing that once Jungkook left, he would never come back. “Wait!” His mother called out. “You can stay here.” “Are you sure?” He raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out if his mother was being sincere or not. “Because if you’re not then we’ll…” “I am. You’re all welcome to stay.” She cut him off, an ounce of panic straining her hoarse voice.

Almost immediately, Junghyun took his niece back into his arms before disappearing in the house. “You know, you should forget about those uncles back in Seoul. I’m your real uncle…” “Thank you.” Jungkook mumbled, pecking his mother’s cheek before his dad wrapped his arm around his shoulders and led him inside. Hesitantly she followed them, making eye contact with his mother in passing - she still didn’t look happy but she forced a smile onto her face.

It was awkward to be at his parents’ house, she just didn’t feel like she belonged; she had anticipated his mother’s reaction but seeing his brother and father playing with her daughter on the couch made her feel a little less on edge. Maybe his mother would eventually warm up to her; she could only try to imagine how shocked and overwhelmed she felt. 

“Can she talk?” “No, not yet, still waiting for her first word.” “Soo-Yun can you say Halbi…Hal-bi…” Jungkook’s dad tried to encourage her to call him grandpa but the little girl just eyed him curiously before he started tickling her and her cute giggles echoed from the walls.

“Come on, I’ll show you around.” Jungkook whispered, taking her hand as he pulled her out into the hallway and up the stairs. “I’ll start making dinner for you.” His mother called from the kitchen, where the rattling of pots and pans could be heard. “If you need help, let me know.”

But she didn’t respond and as they reached the top of the stairs he came to a halt. “This is my parents’ bedroom…” He pointed to the left. “Next to it, is the bathroom and that’s Junghyun’s room, which leaves us with my room..” He opened the door last door on the right that had a few paint chips missing.

“Cute…” She commented, trying to suppress a giggle as she walked around the room. It still very much looked like a kids room, posters on the wall, ribbons from sporting competitions and comic books filled the two small shelves on the left wall. “I’m never really here, so they just left it like this. Last time I was here, I wanted to change it but I never got around to it…” He sat down on the bed that was clearly only fit for one person. “Plus if I changed it, it just wouldn’t feel like my room, you know?” “I get it.” She sat down next to him. “Are you okay?” Feeling his eyes on her, she turned her head. “Yeah, it’s just a little much but I can handle it, don’t worry.” “I know but we’re safe here and my mom will come around. She’s just…she knows I had a really hard time after we broke up, she’s worried.” “I understand, if I were in her shoes I’d probably react the same way.”

He nodded, pinching his bottom lip between his index finger and thumb. “I’ll talk to her, I want you to feel comfortable here.” “Thank you.” She smiled weakly and out of the blue he pressed her down into the pillows, innocently planting little kisses to her lips that she wished would last a little longer each time. His hand softly traveled up and down her waist, slowly disappearing underneath her shirt when his lips left hers to trail down her neck, the tip of his nose brushing against her skin. “Kookie it tickles…” She whined, kicking her legs lightly but he didn’t care, covering every inch in butterfly kisses. Someone coughed, making them pull away from each other.

“Hyung.” Jungkook felt his ears heat up; he let himself get carried away - it wasn’t easy to stop when he felt like he had to make up for all those months they were apart. “Mom says dinner will be ready in half an hour or so but I can just tell her you’re busy…” He winked, making his brother jump to his feet. “No, hyung! No, don’t tell her, please.” “Calm down.” He patted his shoulder. “But - I never thought I’d see you with a girl in here, dreams do come true.” He wiped away a fake tear, earning a slap to his arm from Jungkook. “Stop teasing me.” He pouted, stomping his foot just like he would when they were kids.

“Where’s Soo-Yun?” She interrupted their bickering after checking her watch. “Downstairs with dad, he’s playing peek-a-boo with her.” She nodded. “Would it be okay if I took a shower?” “Of course, I’ll go get our stuff from the car and Soo-Yun.” “Thanks.” Smiling at both of them, she excused herself to the bathroom.

Junghyun followed his little brother downstairs to the car. “Is everything okay? The other day you told me that you were really busy with practice and now you’re here…” He trailed off while lifting the suitcase from the trunk.

Jungkook wanted to lie and pretend like everything was fine and that his heart wasn’t painfully contracting in his chest every time he thought about his other brothers back in Seoul but he couldn’t. “Not really, hyung. Something happened, something really bad happened…” “What’s going on?” He wanted to tell him that they betrayed him, that he yelled at them and that he hurt Jimin but the words got caught in his throat; he wouldn’t believe him anyway. “I-I don’t want to talk about it right now…”

Junghyun watched him as he got the purple plush puppy and the car seat from the backseat; he knew his baby brother was deeply hurt, his eyes drooping in sadness but he didn’t want to press the issue. Jungkook would talk when he was ready. “Let’s go free your baby from dad’s grasp.” “Is it that bad?” His eyes widened. “No, it’s actually really cute how he plays with her.” “To be honest, I thought mom would be the one to…” “Give her some time, she’ll get used to it. You know, when we heard how upset you were from Jin…” He paused when he noticed the tortured expression on Jungkook’s face at the mention of his member’s name. “Mom was really upset as well, she wanted to go to Seoul to take care of you, you’re still her baby and now you have a baby, I think she just needs to process everything.”

He nodded, pressing the button on the car key to lock it. “I hope so, I really want mom to like y/n and Soo-Yun…” “I’m sure she will, don’t worry. When did you find out anyway? You haven’t been with her in over a year.” “A couple of days ago…” Jungkook’s voice was really quiet, almost inaudible when he followed him back inside. Slowly but surely the sinking feeling in his stomach told him that what had happened back in Seoul must have been a result of Y/n being back in his life.

She wrapped the dark blue towel around her body before she took a closer look into the mirror - she was a tired mess, even a steaming hot shower wasn’t able to hide the bags under her eyes. Faintly she heard Jungkook’s voice coming from his room when she walked back, it was a higher pitch than usual when he sweetly talked to Soo-Yun. “Are you sleepy? Oh right, your mommy said you were hungry earlier. I’ll get the crackers, wait.” She watched how he clumsily reached for her bag and rummaged through it to find the small carton.

“It’s okay, I’ll feed her now. It’s almost time for her to go to bed anyway.” She announced herself, crossing the short distance from the door to the bed. “Ah, perfect. Would it be okay if I jumped in the shower real quick? I feel like I have stand stuck everywhere from earlier.” “Sure.” Pressing his lips to her forehead, before he grabbed clean clothes and disappeared in the bathroom.

“Are you hungry?” She sat down, picking her daughter up to place her on her lap. “You’ve been such a good girl today but it’s almost bedtime, princess.” Soo-Yun usually demanded to always be fed on time, she just loved to eat and snack all day, although she was a bit fussy when it came to vegetables, cucumber being her favorite by far but before bed and once during the night, she still wanted milk. Naturally, her chubby little hands reached for the towel that was standing in the way of her dinner, once she had cradled her in arms like she usually would.

“I can’t wait for you to only eat solids.” She cooed, gently pushing her daughter’s hair from her forehead when the familiar sucking noises started.

For a moment she watched her drink, the little eyelashes fluttering shut before she busied herself on her phone. Three messages from Jihoon and two missed calls were amongst the messages from her sister and brother in law wondering where she was. Quickly she replied to the latter, not wanting them to worry but Jihoon was a different story. They weren’t dating- they had kissed a handful of times but only ever after she had cried to him about her struggles with Soo-Yun and to her they were just good friends; maybe she was trying to fill the void in her heart that Jungkook left but to him, they were clearly more than friends. Before she could type out a reply to yet another ‘I miss you’ message, she heard a gasp.

Looking up from her phone, she saw Jungkook standing in the doorway, staring at her with his mouth open, only in his underwear and a t-shirt. “I’m so sorry, I’ll go…” He covered his eyes quickly, wanting to give her some privacy but his body had turned to stone. There were too many thoughts rushing through his head to sort through them. To say that he was embarrassed was an understatement, he could feel himself starting to sweat profusely, his cheeks burning up in a crimson red.

“You don’t have to go, you can stay…I don’t mind.” “No, no…I’ll go…” He wanted to turn around. “Kook, are you embarrassed?” She raised her eyebrows, not fully able to banish the amused tone from her voice. “I-I…” He stuttered, still not looking at her, just wanting to hide somewhere until she was done. “You don’t have to be, it’s normal. Babies have to eat too.” “I know that…” He mumbled, dragging his feet over to the chair by the small desk. “I just thought…she was eating food and you didn’t have to…" Ungracefully he gestured towards her, not wanting to say the word breastfeeding out-loud. “For the most part, she eats regular food, yes, but she still likes her milk in the evening and at night…just like you, you love milk, so that’s something you have in common.”

Jungkook scrunched up his nose, his ears were on fire and he still couldn’t bring himself to look at her. “If you have questions, just ask…” He didn't even have to think twice, there was one question predominantly pushing its way forward in his brain. “Uhm, you know…the other day when we, you know…I did that too and nothing came out…” She burst out laughing, earning a disgruntled noise the baby in her arms. “I guess, you were just lucky. I should’ve warned you, I’m sorry.”

Throwing his head back, he let out a whiny cry. “Yes, you should have. That would’ve been weird.” Suddenly his head snapped back and he was directly looking at her, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips. “You know, I was wondering why your boobs were a little lopsided” “Just like your balls.” She shrugged, shifting her focus back to her daughter. “What? Are you serious? Is one really bigger than the other?” He leaned forward, trying to inspect his lower region through the black fabric of his briefs. “You’re an idiot.” Rolling her eyes, she reached for a pillow, aiming it directly at his head.

*

“You did what?” Hoseok whispered yelled, although it was just him, Yoongi, Namjoon and Jin who were at the dorm, while the two youngest were out looking for the maknae. Jin nervously hid his hands inside his pink sweater when he ever so lightly nodded. “I can’t believe you two were the ones that told on Jungkookie.” Hobi’s face was pulled into a grimace of contempt. “So he was right. Unbelievable…” “Well, it was mainly Namjoon who did the talking, I didn’t say much….I couldn’t….” Jin tried to defend himself, still feeling the heavyweight of guilt resting on his shoulders. “Doesn’t matter, you were his accomplice!” “I thought, I was doing the right thing.” Namjoon covered his face with his hands. “He was so happy but I knew that if management found out later, it would be a lot worse for him, them…all of us.” “That was not your decision to make. You did stab him in the back.”

“Hoseok-ah, he just wanted to help and it won’t do any good or change anything if you keep scolding him now.” Yoongi crossed his arms. “I don’t condone what you did but I get it. We all worked too hard to have this potentially ruin everything. You had good intentions but it blew up in your face.” “You should’ve talked to Jungkook first, I’m sure, he would’ve understood what’s at stake here.” Hoseok lowered his gaze. “I-I really only wanted to do what’s right. I didn’t think he would listen to me and I thought, he would understand if the boss told him that he’s making a mistake.” “But he always listens to you, you should’ve been the one to knock some sense into him.”

Namjoon let out a heart-wrenching sigh. “I know that now…” They fell silent for a moment, where they all succumbed to their thoughts. It was the first time that a fight between the members had gotten so out of hand that one of them ran away and didn’t come home. “We have to make sure Jimin and Taehyung don’t find out what you two did, they will take it to heart.” Yoongi muttered, his thumb pressed against his bottom lip before he sunk his teeth into the already tortured skin - if things didn’t start to look up again soon, he’d never be able to break this terrible habit.

*

Dinner had been awkward, to say the least; not once had Jungkook felt this strange and out of place in his parents’ house, even the light-hearted conversations his brother had tried so hard to hold, faded into silence very quickly.

Y/n was sitting on the floor in his room, watching as Soo-Yun peacefully let out little snores in the car seat. “Do you think she’ll be comfortable enough in this thing the whole night?” He wondered, carefully eyeing his daughter, feeling bad that it was too late to get a proper bed for her to sleep in. “Maybe we should have stayed at a hotel for the night…” “It’s not ideal but it should be okay for one night, don’t worry too much.” She turned around, now kneeling in front of him. “How’s your hand?” She inspected his knuckles, that had slowly started to bruise. “It’s a little sore.” “What did you do anyway?” “I might have punched a wall…” He trailed off, watching her mouth open in shock. “Jungkook, what? Are you serious?” “I was angry, they were still lying to me. I-I just needed to do something and it was better than hitting one of them.” “You know there’s pillows or punching bags for that so you don’t end up with a bloody hand.”

Letting out an airy chuckle, he cupped her face and moved in closer. “Thank you, what would I do without you?” She smiled against his lips before they connected sweetly when suddenly the door opened. Quickly they pulled away from each other, his mother scrunched up her nose, holding extra bedding in her arms.

Crudely she walked over to the bed. “Here, help me put this on. Your father is bringing the air mattress in a few minutes.” “Air mattress?” He repeated with a dumbfounded look on his face. “But we don’t need it, we can just sleep in my bed.” She let out a sardonic chuckle through her pursed lips. “You two are not sharing a bed. Evidently nothing good comes from that.”

“Mom!” He protested, feeling a sting in his heart from the snide remark aimed to hurt his and y/n’s feelings. “Jungkook-ah, I don’t want to hear another word.” Silently he nodded his head as he started helping his mother with the bedding. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Y/n offered, when his father walked in, carrying the old air mattress. “No, I think you’ve done enough already.” Quickly Jungkook looked at her, mouthing ‘sorry’ before stuffing a pillow into its designated pillowcase. “Honey, where do you want me to put it?” “Hm, over there, in front of the bookshelf.” His mother instructed her husband after making sure there would be enough space between the mattress and the bed. “Here’s a fitted sheet for you.” Coldly she handed it to y/n, shooing her husband to the door. “Don’t stay up too late.” “We won’t. Goodnight.” Jungkook wanted to close the door behind her but instantly his mother pushed it back open. “The door stays open!” “But mom.” He whaled, feeling like a little kid again that was being treated unfairly. “If you insist on closing it, you can sleep in your brother’s room, then y/n can have your room all to herself and close the door if she pleases.” She smiled sweetly, her eyes drilling into her son’s, letting him know that she didn’t appreciate his behavior. “Fine.” He mumbled, just pushing the door a little so it wasn’t fully open. “Is that okay?” “No.” “But mom, y/n has to feed the baby later, please…” “Just for tonight.” She caved, turning to leave. Impatiently Jungkook waited for his parents’ bedroom door to close before he sat down on his bed again.

“That’s unbelievable. I’m not a kid anymore.” “It’s okay, at least you don’t have to sleep in Junghyun’s room.” After finishing putting the fitted sheet on the air mattress, she sat down on it. “But still, we’re not teenagers anymore. We’ve already done it, there’s no need to keep us apart.” Groaning, he let himself fall back, hitting his head on the wall. “Ouch, I forgot how small his bed is.” “See, maybe it’s good that I’m sleeping over here.” “You’re not sleeping on that old thing. You can have my bed and I’ll sleep on the floor.” “I don’t mind, you can really sleep in your bed.”

But Jungkook wouldn’t budge, he got up and grabbed the end of the air mattress, dragging it over, right next to his bed before he lifted her up with ease to make her sit on the bed. “Ah, much better.” He smiled, sitting down cross-legged. “You know, your mom will be mad if she sees this.” “I don’t care, I want you to be comfortable and I can sleep pretty much anywhere.” He pulled the duvet over his legs. “Do you need me to set an alarm for when you have to feed her?”  “No, my body now wakes up by itself at 2:30 am…fun, right?”  “That’s usually my bedtime.” Jungkook watched her, as she tried to get comfortable in his bed, pulling the blanket up to her chin.  “We can stay up if you want.” She yawned, her eyes already hooded with sleep. 

He simply shook his head, reaching for the light switch of his desk lamp. “No, it was a long day. I’m glad when it’s finally over.” Rolling onto his side, he closed his eyes. Maybe tomorrow would be different, maybe tomorrow would be a better day where he didn’t have to think about his brothers at all; his priorities had shifted so fast that maybe he would be able to forget about them just as quickly. “Kookie?” “Hm?” He hummed drowsily, wanting to open his eyes when she didn’t reply but then he felt her hand underneath his duvet, searching for his; their fingers intertwined. His body relaxed instantly into the mattress, and although he couldn’t sleep in the same bed, it was more than enough to know that she was there, holding onto his hand - and heart like she always did. *

Namjoon was pacing up and down in front of the sofa; his hands were clammy so he repeatedly wiped them on his sweat pants. “Can you please sit down? You’re making us all nervous.” Hoseok’s eyes were glued to the clock on the wall, his pupils moving rapidly as they kept up with the seconds that passed. “Sorry, I’m just…” The leader was cut off when the two youngest members hurried into the room. “Did you find him?”

Taehyung shook his head. “He’s not at the gym, nor is he with any of his friends…” “They could be lying and are covering for him.” “I doubt it, hyung, most of them said that they haven’t heard from him in a while.”

Jimin slumped down on the floor. “He’s not responding to messages and when I try calling him, it goes straight to voicemail. Have any of you tried calling him?” All of them pulled their phones out but every call ended with a disappointed sigh. “Voicemail.” Jin mumbled, dropping his phone to massage his temples.

“He’s just mad and needs to clear his head, he’s probably with y/n.”  Yoongi tried to reassure his members but even he couldn’t entirely ignore the uneasy feeling inside of him.

“I tried calling her too earlier but the same thing happened.” “Well then we know that he told her what happened, that’s something.” “It’s not, we still don’t know where he is and if he’s okay.” Taehyung sat down next to his best friend. “I’m sure he’s fine and will be home soon.” Yoongi tried his best to sound hopeful, only to earn a sad look from both boys on the floor.”

“Maybe we should call the police. It’s been over 24 hours…” “But Jungkookie is not missing…” “Yes, he is! We don’t know where he is and that makes him a missing person!” Jimin protested, determined to find the youngest. Namjoon cleared his throat. “We can’t call the police, but we can tell one of the managers what’s going on. They have to know.” “And what are they gonna do about it? If we can’t find him, they won’t either.” Jimin threw his hands up in despair. If only Jungkook would have talked to him; he was sure that he would’ve been able to calm him down and make him stay.  Was this just part of a plan to make them all feel bad or had the youngest been so heartbroken, so upset that he couldn’t stand living with them anymore?  They would never turn their backs on him but Jungkook had just walked out of their lives. 

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[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 132 Results

The chapter poll closed with 1,746 responses. This month’s chapter poll results were brought to you by /u/_Puppet_, /u/staraves, @momtaku​, @shifter-lines​ and /u/berthototototo

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,693 responses

When we compare “Wings of Freedom” with other chapter results we’ve recorded, it comes in 25th out of 41, making it middle of the pack as far as ratings go.  Looking at the chapter on it’s own, however, it’s very well received with nearly 86% of the fandom rating it good (30.4%) or great (55.3%).

I think it was definitely just a classic aot chapter, had that plot that always had you on the edge of your toes, had the emotional moments, the momentary funny and bittersweet moments, 10/10 chapter

It couldn’t have gone any better besides Hange’s death :/

wish Floch got a little more screen time upon death but otherwise, awesome chapter.

It felt a little bit rushed but I enjoyed it nonetheless

It was so well executed yet so sad. I'm pride of our Hanji but feel so much distress thinking it's over for her.

It was a great emotional piece, and last moment before the true final battle begins. There’s no going back.

It was a good chapter but I would’ve liked if there was more dialogue between the alliance members

The deaths were rushed and poorly written

It was good, but alliance focused chapters are still a drop in quality.

It was a solid chapter and did what it aimed to do well, though I think it had pacing issues with the two deaths.

It had a little something for everyone. Except Zeke stans.

WE’LL GET TO THE GOODBYES IN A SECOND, BUT FIRST, WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT?

1,695 responses

Hange’s sacrifice was the moment that people liked the most at 30%, and seeing the old Survey Corp crew was a stand-out moment for 21%. Seeing Mikasa and Annie have an almost casual conversation brought joy to 12.1%, and Floch’s determination and brutal death were appreciated most by 11.6%.

I love the final shots of the scouts being shown in the afterlife. Ty Isayama

The little moments between the characters was great because it reminds us that they're still human.

The overall scene was legendary seeing Hange dying for her comrades and even in her last seconds she thought that she sacrificed herself in order for her comrades to live. That's what she thought a great commander would look like. That's why Hange was one of the best commanders of the Scouts.

Mikasa is such a boss, love seeing her fight and hopefully we'll get more big moments from her (as opposed to Levi).

Chad, King, hero. Every moment that Floch was in is a great scene.

I loved the Colossus slipping down the mountain

My favorite part is Kiyomi refilling coal with a shovel alone :)

  WHICH OF THE GOODBYES WAS YOUR FAVORITE 1,699 responses

In a chapter filled with goodbyes it was Levi and Hange’s final moments that we found most endearing with close to 60% selecting it. “Please don’t make me choose” was a very distant second with 14.7%. Interestingly Annie and Reiner (10.4%) beat out Annie and Armin (6.5%) for third place.

i think isayama truly gave hange a great goodbye, and writing them still being cheerful and joking around made me feel so much more for their death.

It made me cry because of all the goodbyes. It reminded me of Erwin saying goodbye to the people inside the walls and people of the military. And his iconic “roar”. All of that before the battle.

Hange’s and Levi’s goodbye was very well done (that look in Levi’s eyes too, ouch), props to Isayama for breaking my heart.

The Reiner/Annie hug was all I could ask for, bless Yams.

I wanted a Levihan moment for this chapter and NOT a last levihan scene 😭

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,700 responses

Who else could it be? Hange Zoe is the chapter MVP according to two-thirds of all poll respondents. Floch (13%), Engineer-kun (3.4%) and Mikasa (2.6%) all got tiny slivers of the remaining pie.

Hange was truly the hero of this chapter and i'm so happy to have been witness to their characters journey over the years!

Hange is overall my second favourite character and I looked up to them. For me Hange is the true embodiment for the Survey Corps which is for Humanity and their courage, optimism and selflessness really made me love them so much.

Hange was a flawed commander. We all know this. They made mistakes like any other human being would when faced with the stress of a leadership position. They tried desperately to fill Erwins shoes but in the end accepted that they should be themselve. But overall Hange Zoe is an incredible person and I will miss them so

Best girl Mikasa rocked it this chapter with the way she swiftly killed Floch!

While I don't agree with some of Floch's beliefs, he died trying to save his home by slowing down the Alliance. Goodnight, sweet prince!

Floch did his best he anchored all the way from the beginning to the hangar with a bullet wound and that mustve hurt like hell all that salt water coming in

Someone please send me help I can't do this my family and friends got so worried because I've changed. They be like "Bro you've changed and I be like yeah Hange died bro what do you expect I'm in genuine pain you won't understand."

  HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT HANGE’S HEROIC EXIT? 1,701 responses

Just over half of respondents loved the way Hange went out at 51.4%, and 26.5% liked it despite some quibbles. Not many of us saw it coming but it was at least emotional and a badass way to go. However, 9.6% hated it – there is an undeniable trend of every vaguely older character getting the chop. Who will poor Levi sit with in the retirement home with now?! 6.8% don’t really care about how the scene went. I suppose they’re the ones most prepared if no one in SnK gets to go to the retirement home.

A great ending to an amazing character, it's sad to see her go, but her time was up and she died fighting the creatures she loved.

I'm disturbed by how much it affected me

I loved it, but its not something i'll cry over.

I don't hate it but it did seem kinda unnecessary tbh could've been better

I STILL CAN'T STOP CRYING ABOUT IT. OPTION ONE IS GOOD BUT DOESN'T EXPRESS HOW MUCH THIS CHAPTER HURT ME.

It does break my heart,however the way and the time she do that, That was... Memorable

It happened too quickly for me to consider it perfect, but I'm glad she got to go out on her own terms.

Not heroic at all, she didn't even stop the colossals and was a cheap way for her to never face the consequences of her betraying the island

It was dope but Floch indirectly killed her so he takes that dub

I'M STILL CRYING ABOUT IT, SHE WENT OUT LIKE A FUCKING CHAMP

I'm super frustrated that she died, but she was heroic

She’s a traitor, nothing more to be said

i hated it. it was perfect. she really did go out with a bang and i hate it

Felt a bit pointless, would've loved to see some emphasize why it was crucial to kill these exact two titans. For me it looked like plain suicide

Had to go through the 5 stages of grief after that one, honestly. I was so angry immediately afterward because Hange is my favorite character of all time in any piece of media, losing them was almost like losing someone I've known and cared about for almost 7 years of my life. I've now come to accept that maybe death is the only happy ending any character can achieve in this story.

I don’t want to think about it

I don't like the idea of every Scout commander having a ""curse"" that they have to inevitably pay for with their lives. They're outstanding people and volunteers, just like their comrades, no one forced them to join.

  WHAT WAS THE ASPECT YOU LIKED MOST ABOUT HANGE’S LAST MOMENTS? 1,687 responses

This question was fun to write but looking at the even distribution of selections, I suspect choosing an answer was difficult. Levi saying devote your heart to Hange was top pick with close to 30% selecting it. Retaining their sense of humor to the end (17.1%), being able to reunite with their old comrades (14.7%), having a moment of amazement while confronting the titans (14.4%), being able to die on their own terms and say goodbye (12.3%), stealing death from Reiner yet again (8.2%) and telling Armin he can boss Levi around (3.4%) were the other selections.

I really love Hange and when i see her died and see erwin and other old friends and morbit helping her i just cannot cry (sorry for my english im french ^^)

I was never a really big fan of Hange, but that exit was badass as hell.

It was a heroic death but it felt forced and unnecessary and she was my favorite character, so I'm extremely salty and in denial.

Hange seemed too eager to just die, like welp, i guess my contract is up, gotta go die.....It felt like when actors are written off a show

I never really considered myself a fan of her, but her death got me good. I think it was because how she marvelled and was genuinely amazed by titans, even in her final moments.

glad to see the old titan obsessed hange back before her final sacrifice

Most people seem to think that Hange's death was a bullshit ending, but I think that it was perfect, going out the way they were introduced.

To have hange say that titans are amazing before she dies was just perfect! It shows how she stayed true to herself until the end. And the part where she reunited with Moblit, Erwin, Mike and the others was so beautiful.

  WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE HANGE QUOTE THIS CHAPTER? 1,686 responses

Hange really got to shine this chapter as we’re reminded of how off-kilter and fun they can be, even when the situation is at its most serious. We got a chapter chock full of memorable lines, but the favorite was of course “Titans really are incredible,” a call back to the reverence and respect for titans that made so many love the character to begin with.

"titans.. are truly incredible." was a fitting last(ish) words for hange.

  SO GOES THE 14TH COMMANDER OF THE SCOUTS, HANGE ZOE, FOLLOWING IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF THEIR PREDECESSORS. WHAT ARE YOUR FINAL THOUGHTS ON THEIR OVERALL LEGACY? 802 responses

GOAT

I think their legacy is one of grit and determination in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. Not as revolutionary as say, Erwin, but they were perseverant and selfless, and innovative in their own right, as a scientist and researcher, always seeking new possibilities.

I will always remember Hange as our awesome scientist who came up with ideas for weapons! and was passionate about titans! and would stand up for a better comprehension of them instead of... whatever it is that Isayama made of Hange post-time skip that they no longer could shine about anything or would even reflect about what Eren was going through. Love you, Hange, you deserved that we followed your struggles more closely. <3

Hange became the commander in the most difficult moment and had bad times having to deal with politics, a whole new world and their own powerlessness. I think the Alliance is their most precious legacy and it really represents the old SC's spirit.

I adored seeing them go from loony scientist to a powerful and serious commander, even if it did come with a boatload of trauma. I also respect the hell out of them for being willing to watch their own culture destroyed if it meant not committing genocide. On a more personal note, as a nonbinary person it's just been really wonderful to see a character like Hange treated with such respect.

Amazing character and leader. Not on Erwin's level but she was a badass 😭😭 #rip

*you tried star*

A bit hypocritical. She was willing to stop Eren and endanger all Eldiana to save strangers from other nations that want to kill them. She also says killing is wrong, but proceeds to kill multiple Eldians unbothered, but when she sees Marleyans or people from other nations, she softens up.

Being a commander is not an easy job, and Hange's start was even more difficult because of Zeke annihilating like 90%(??) of the Scouts and the reveal in the basement and the crisis that followed. Still, she kept going, never giving up, even if she clearly had some moments of selfdoubt. I feel like Hange can be proud of herself and the life she lived, and I am happy that she was able go in her own terms. Her death bought them precious time, but it was a great loss as well. I feel a bit empty and wistful...

Brilliant character, brilliant way to let them go. I’m most interested to see how this death will effect Armin and his leadership as they alliance approach the founding titan. I’m also glad we got to see them in the afterlife, that was a bittersweet comfort.

Every commander dies young, rip armin

Hange was annoying. Glad they're dead.

Hange was incredible in their own field of interest, but definitely not fit to be the commander. Loved how they could be themself once again at the end.

Followed in Erwin's footsteps and even went beyond. Hange will be remembered as the commander who took Paradis from the titans and who explored beyond the island for the first time in 100+ years. Plus a rational commander, putting facts and science before everything else, as well as grasping how important diplomacy and politics are even beyond Paradis. Also although quirky, an example of tolerance.

Fuck that.. Their death was worthy of them.. it was a very sweet goodbye.. But I really thought they would make it to the end... And I really wanted them to. Hange was such an important character, they did so much for the cause and for everyone. They were someone who could be trusted but who didn't hesitate to do what had to be done. Incredibly smart and humbled, I just wish they believed in themselves a bit more.. cus they are incredible.

Hange was given a shit-circus to try and handle- complete with clowns, children causing mayhem, and a giant fucking monkey.

Her "gEnOcIdE iS wRoNg" quote with no actual solution in 126 really turned me off for her for a while as a character; overall however, Hange was one of the more memorable and likable characters from the series and it's sad to see her go.

Given the difficult job of rebuilding the Survey Corps after its destruction with very little help. Had to deal with the wannabe hegemon in Zackly who was doing lots of underhanded power grabs in the background. Had to deal with a populace who finally realized they were not alone. Had to deal with a moody weapon known as the Attack titan who knew all the answers but shared it with no one. Poor Hange who was never given a chance for victory

Hange was amazing character that got entirely too much flack for not being a "good commander" This is a character that above all stayed true to themselves in what they fought for and believed in.

Hange Zoe spat on the legacy of the scouting league by squandering their sacrifice to protect their families and communities. Hange's actions if successful will likely lead to the deaths of all their families which is something they would never support.

Considering how we never truly knew if Erwin was totally devoted to humanity or totally selfish, and considering Shardiz' inferiority complex, Hanji was the true one who gave her whole being to humanity and who truly embodied Survey Corps' abnegation, without any regard toward such senseless conception like homeland. No wonder why the title of her final battle is "Wings of Freedom"

Legendary commanders, each one going out with with a bang. Erwin going out by distracting Monke and Levi taking him out. Hange going out by taking care of a few Bert ripoffs, having the alliance survive a few more hours. And Armin, wait-

Hange helped the main characters in the story with her quick thinking and managed to put the missing pieces into place for us. Their different outlook on the whole situation gave us a fresh perspective and there’ll be no one else like them.

hange is great!!! too bad she tortured bean and sawney tho and sannes smh but 10/10 regardless love that mad scientist

Hange embodied the spirit of the survey corp. She was the commander that made unlikely alliances and advanced Paradis infrastructure.

Hange has been one of my favorite characters. They are the best Titan Scientist. RIP.

Thank you Hange, you did great 💖

  FLOCH FINALLY GOT THE GLOCK. OR ACTUALLY, THE ANCHOR. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF HIS LAST HURRAH? 1,660 responses

Let’s not forget that Hange wasn’t the only major death in this chapter.  After months of being voted most likely to die, Floch’s time finally came.  About 30% of respondents are just celebrating that he’s finally dead, a quarter are glad he’s dead but got this last fun scene, and 20.4% are glad he was able to screw with the alliance once more before dying.

🦀🦀🦀FLOCH IS DEAD🦀🦀🦀

A fitting ending for an interesting, yet very unpleasant character. Love how his death was contrasted with Hange's, and the fact that Mikasa was the one to off him (the symbolism of the person who represents Eren's humanity killing the person who keeps referring to him as the devil is... well, not subtle but it can't be ignored).

Could have done more, but he never wavered or lost his convictions, more of a hero than any of the alliance will ever be

he should have been dead since 129, makes no sense

He should've stayed on the island and failed

Died a hero, wouldn’t even beg for his life but for his friends and countrymen instead

Even though I didn't really like him, I have my full respect to him for following his beliefs till his last breath

Floch is one of the best characters, and most complex characters, he got a very good ending.

I love eren’s boyfriend ♡

He died a hero's death after carrying chapters 124-130 on his back. He also did nothing wrong.

He's a mega chad and I love him. Managing to survive underwater for 2 days and slowly losing blood, and then shooting the ship to stop the Alliance, and then having a bomb-ass speech? He was a legend that needs to be appreciated more.

His arm should've been blown off to begin with and even if it wasn't, he should've died from hypothermia. I think it was needed drama, but done poorly.

His death was far better executed than I thought. He shot the fuel tank instead of one of the SC or one of the engineers/Onyankopon. That should tells you that he just want them to stop, not killing them all. He stays true to his belief of saving Paradis by following Eren, even in his last words he is pleading for Paradis' instead of his own live. From someone whose country has been colonized once, I say that is a true soldier for his nation.

Oh fuck off floch, he was a dick with volatile ideals anyway. Fuck that guy honestly. Like I agree with his stance but like. Everytime it feels oddly implanted when he has an opinion, like he does think with his own head but gets influenced very easily into changing sides too fast? Like, he does the right things but jot for the right reasons because he doesn't really think them through enough? That's my vibe. Idk. Ignore all my answers I feel stupid

RIP Hero of Paradis. To save your civilisation is an admirable goal, although it being achieved through genocide is still morally wrong

I'm sad he didn't get to know how Eren used him.

  FLOCH FORSTER WAS A COMMANDER IN HIS OWN RIGHT, FIGHTING HIS WAY UP FROM HIS ORIGINS AS A BACKGROUND CHARACTER. ANY OVERALL THOUGHTS ON THE BIRD NEST BOI AND HIS IMPACT ON THE STORY? 912 responses

Best boy. Fly high you little devil :(( <3

a bitch but i respect the fact that he did what he believed in (even if its genocide😕)

Controversially, I have no opinion on him.

Ding dong the witch is dead

A character that was perfectly written for his purpose. AoT World isnt black and white and he showed us. Pain and loss made the Floch that died in 132. but Eldia and Marley made the Floch that survived to see all his comrades dead.

Floch is shit :) but also is a good character because its represents a real human.

A complete and satisfying character. It's not easy to summarize, but the way he went from a naive gloryhound to a single-minded guy trying to make his own survival/the deaths from the charge mean something while still remaining a relatively normal, unremarkable soldier was great. Also, I appreciate how he, Eren, and the Yeagerists basically reenacted Uprising by overthrowing a regime that would've just continued the royal family-eating and messed around until the island got destroyed. The prediction from Sannes all those years ago turned out to be too accurate, unfortunately.

A lot of people did hate Floch, I didn't. I think adding Floch to the story was just as essential as the other supporting characters. He played out a good and effectively annoying enemy. I think in every Action-thriller story, a Floch is a must as a villain. The hate on Floch reminded me of the hate on Joffrey from Game of Thrones. But Joffrey did have a great impact on the story, so did Floch. The way he was written just really did manage to get on our nerves, and I think that's what makes a character great.

A true patriot.

An asshole but at least he went out feeling like a rounded character

An nazi ass bitch

Based and Redpilled

Best character not named Eren or Erwin.

By far exceeded expectations.

Disagree with his agenda, but he's a very real character and a representation of the monster someone can become when driven by survivor's guilt and trauma.

He was the literally epitome of a roller coaster ride.

Floch always felt like a background character, and even though he gets far more to do than other background characters, he never felt like an actual person but rather just a plot device. He has no personality.

Floch was surprisingly good given he was such a minor character. He fully displayed the shades of gray of the narrative.

Heck him >:(

Floch has always been someone who held an opposing view to the main cast, and his entire arc revolved around his need to "bring back the devil" in order to ensure the safety of his land and his people. Some people seem to have forgotten that, but at his core he never changed. Sad to see him go out like this.

Floch has my respect for fighting until the very end (and even after the end since we all thought he'd been killed by Gabi) for what he believes in, but obviously it is not what I and my favourite characters believe in, so I'm glad he's gone. His impact is great as he earned the title of "most tenacious villain ever" when he only really started as a coward rookie soldier many chapters ago. Also props to him for holding onto this boat for such a long time and being up for a fight after probably being hauled in the sea and swallow more water he ever had his entire life.

The panel of him shushing Hanji will always be iconic. His descent into nationalism (new Eldian empire, anyone?) however, was not so cash money"

When Floch had captured Miss Kiyomi (ch. 128) he dismissed what she said and had his speech about ‘it’s important to know your place’, and then not even a minute later he was taken down by this same old lady smh. Previously, he wanted to kill Onyankopon and Yelena, but Jean deceived him and he failed. Later, he wanted to kill someone on the boat, but Gabi shot him and he failed. He wanted to stop the alliance, but Mikasa got him with her anchor and he didn’t just fail, he died. I’ve seen some readers applaud him for fighting for what he believes in and having a strong will, but they don’t see what else there is. Strong will? Not giving up? So many characters have the same traits in AoT. The difference is that Floch repeatedly never achieved what he wanted to accomplish, despite his strong will and belief to not give up. His determination and willpower made him achieve nothing. By contrast, Hange’s will and determination to keep fighting made her kill about 2-4 colossals and save her allies just in time for them to get away. Is the difference obvious enough? Their deaths are even put in the same chapter. Floch was not important, admirable, or whatever you want to praise him like. He kept interfering with the alliance and for what? He simply never knew his place.

He played a larger role than I ever thought he would and became one of the most interesting characters during this time. I’m glad he was here to push the story along, and I’ll miss him.

His fans are insufferable but he is a needed counterbalance to the alliance characters and stuck to his beliefs to the end.

He started up as a fodder and ends up as one of the biggest threats for SC. I might be in the minority when I said I already like him since pre time skip. He showed us how the war is like from the perspective of a normal soldier, not the talented ones who got into the 10 top ranks. Just a normal soldier who was inspired by the words of his leader to devote his heart, and came to a realization that it's an actual hell, just like reality. Maybe he's wrong to vent about choosing Armin instead of Erwin when Armin was feeling down, but I can understand. All his friends died, he's currently having emotional and survivor trauma over the suicide charge, and all of those sufferings came to a waste because of the people in front of him.

Pee pee poo poo

Good riddance. What a worthless pile of garbage.

Goodnight sweet prince

  ARMIN WANTS TO BRING ALONG THE LEFTOVER EXPLOSIVES. HOW WILL THEY BE USED? 1,638 responses

Chekov’s explosives are now in play.  37.7% of you think they’ll be used to try to blow Eren out of his nape, and 33.7% think they’ll definitely be used for another suicide mission.

Another failed suicide attempt by Reiner

Any of the above, depending on the situation. I think Armin isn't really thinking of anything in particular, simply that having the option to explode something is better than not.

Armin could use them as a suicide necklace to threaten Eren. If Eren still cares for Armin he may stop the rumbling if he knows it will stop Armin from killing himself and possibly Mikasa.

dude there's been so many unexpected turns and plot twists right now I really don't want to make any assumption. But the plane idea is interesting.

i still think armin will fight eren with his colossal titan. I can only hope for something truly epic.

I think they'll be used for more than one of the above

Idk, but for sure they want to damage Eren's Titan to buy some time in doing something

If Eren doesn’t comply I’d assume they will be used to destroy his “nape” if they can even find it. Someone probably has to go on a suicide mission to do so.

Kamikaze Onyankopon like its written all over the poor fellas face,

Levi will suicide bomb Zeke to cut off Eren's connection to paths

make my brain explode hopefully since this plot is ridiculously bad

Only Armin (and Isayama) knows how the explosives will be used. I'm sure it will have something to do with stopping Eren.

Plan A: Blast Eren nape, but it will fail so Plan B: Kamikaze

Reiner will try to use the bombs to commit suicide and take Eren with himself

they'll probably kaboom zook with that idk (I missed my monke so so much)

They will be as useful as farting on Eren.

  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF MIKASA AND ANNIE’S CONVERSATION? 1,665 responses

Mikasa and Annie have a heart to heart near the start of the chapter, after being rivals early in the story.  The two most popular options were being in awe of the cuteness when Armin became the topic, at 34%, and just loving seeing these two characters interact, at 31.3%.  17.5% are wondering how they made the switch to friends so quickly, 9.5% view it as rehashing what’s already been talked about, and 7.8% are more interested in that Mikannie action.

Mikasa's reaction was so cute after realizing Annie has a thing for Armin.

The chapter was also surprisingly humorous, with Mikasa's reaction to learning Annie likes Armin having me burst out laughing.

The sudden closeness between Alliance members who used to be enemies, such as Mikasa/Annie, feel forced and unearned, and the extra Armin/Annie shipping is just unnecessary and a waste of panels when we are so close to the ending yet many things still need closure.

Aruani😍

Mikasa and Annie's conversation almost made me gag because I feel so sorry for Annie having to put up with the constant misunderstanding of her feelings. Annie is aromantic and Mikasa needs to sit down and respect that fact quite like Armin himself does.

I legit laughed out loud when reading Mikasa and Annie's chit chat. At 1 AM.

  MIKASA TELLS ANNIE SHE HAS KEPT THE SCARF WITH HER. WHAT DO YOU THINK HER PLAN IS? 1,662 responses

The scarf has become an actual plot point as of late, with Louise stealing it and now this.  Will it be important for the end game?  45.1% of you believe Mikasa will use it to try to see if the Eren she used to know, who gave it to her is still in there somewhere.  29.1% of you don’t think she has any particular plans as of yet.  15.2% think she’ll comfort Eren in it once they stop him, and 10.5% are putting their money down on the “She’ll use it to strangle Eren” option.

Mikasa need to understand the Eren she remembers is no longer coming back from this.

Mikasa is really a frustrating character... but I think it's on purpose that she keeps swinging from realizing who he really is (chapter 123) and still wanting to be with him (or rather the idealized version she has of him aka the ""old Eren""), because her whole character arc is to separate herself from Eren and coping with it."It's up to Mikasa whether or not she'll be a slave. If she decides to fight against her slave instincts, Eren will have no choice but to kill her since, as an Ackerman, Mikasa, is immune to the memory-fuckery.

In fact, Mikasa should just hang herself with Eren's scarf and the story would become infinitely better and women might finally have better representation. I have never liked Mikasa, but now I actively despise her. She is nothing more than an Eren simp as was revealed to us when she said she's still holding onto that threadbare rag of hers despite everything Eren has proven himself capable of doing. You know, that whole genocide thing that Mikasa herself barely survived in this very chapter while her Commander very much did not. "

I feel tired of people who make fun of Mikasa. She is the one who still believes in Eren's good side and doesn't see him as monster. Everyone else see Eren as devil, while Mikasa still keeps memories about kind Eren and believes that this "old Eren" still is somewhere there. He is the most important person in her life and she will not give up on him as fast as everyone think. She is not obsessed. She is aware of Eren's dark side, of his cruelty and everything he has been doing, but on the same time she will still keep trying to help him and show him that he is NOT the devil, he is not as horrible person as he thinks he is. Everyone are saying that HISTORIA saved him in the cave when he was in his dark moments. Maybe this time it will be Mikasa who will save him from his darkest nightmare.

I can't wait for Eren × Mikasa confrontation "

  WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN WITH THOSE ON THE BOAT? 1,653 responses

The party has split in two, with one half going directly to Eren, and the other half…?  Nearly half of you think that they’ll certainly end up doing something to help the alliance still.  21.8% think they’ll run into the survivors of Liberio, 17.9% think they will in fact be absent for most of the story no, and 11% think they’ll dock at Paradis and do something of import there.

Please isayama, please don’t add any more needless sideplots with the boat doing something

Could have done many alliance interactions/good-byes better. Reiner didn't seem to care for the kids, despite them being his motivation to live. Bert never mentioned. Annie/Armin had no discussion. What are the boat crew even going to do?

"Falco & co. WILL join the battle! At least he has to, because the Jaw Titan is the only one who can break through the Warhammer's hardening!

With them leaving Falco behind (and therefore the Jaw titan's power), I think the explosives may at some point be used if Even tries to shield himself using the Warhammer's power.

Anyone that thinks Annie, Falco and Gabi sailed off is an idiot.

The only thing I'm not too sure about is Annie, Gabi, Falco, Yelena and Kiyomi staying behind. I was every character to have their chance to shine in the final battle. Hopefully, Isayama will find a way to bring these characters back into the conflict.

  WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT LEVI EQUIPPING HIMSELF FOR BATTLE? 1,661 responses

After being blown up and almost out of the story a year and a half ago, Levi is finally suiting back up to get a slice of someone or something, despite still being heavily injured and scarred.  Almost half of the fandom, at 44.6% are excited for his upcoming role in the story, but find it hard to believe he’s ready to fight, as it hasn’t quite been a year and a half in their world.  About a quarter, at 23.2% have been waiting for this moment to finally come for all that time.  15.1% want him to stay away from danger the way he has been, and 9.2% wish he would have just died all those chapters ago.

Kinda silly, but I'll roll with it.

Now that we know Levi is ready for battle, I think his role in the story at this point is for one final confrontation with Zeke (assuming Zeke is within Eren's Founding Titan body somewhere). There, Levi will kill Zeke once and for all to finally fulfill his promise to Erwin, but something tells me Levi will die shortly after he lands the killing blow on Zeke.

Beast Titan vs Levi Round 3

Can't wait till he's forced to team up with Zeke

He will go out in a blaze

Definitely going out with a bang. He’s done with life, it’s obvious he is just here now to complete an objective, he wants to go out strong because of the weight of the survey corpse members gave him. Everyone he has cared about has died. He wants make them proud in a sense, at least dying with pride, and finally getting to meet them again in the afterlife.

I think he should have died in the explosion BUT I think that to do that, he should have had a longer philosophical talk with zeke and overcome his erwin issues, AND THEN die

He’s survived this long- he’s definitely earned the rights to go out on his own terms.

His comeback to fight is just another asspull.

How can he even move, let alone fight? If he survives all of this I’ll be shocked.

I can only see a Pyrrhic victory. I'm scared.

Isayama still has the chance to have Levi die by Eren's hands. The entire story has been leading up to this. Levi was always right about Eren and the sweet irony is that Levi always fought and saw all of his comrades die for Eren only to get killed by Eren as well.

I don't know why people are angry at that. Levi is a soldier and is not a suicidal one. He has a definite role to play and I don't want him to sit around. He's been through much worse.

He is a liability, I don't see him surviving.

-Death flag initiated-

He ain't surviving this one, huh?

Good that he’s feeling better. But I don’t want him to die.

He’s going to make a final charge and die

The man can barely stand on his own, so I think fighting is pretty much out of the question. Really interested in seeing what a character who has always relied first and foremost on violence is going to do now that this has been taken away from him.

As a good commander (and letting annie stay) Hange or Armin had to tell him to stay in boat, like he s only going to kill himself against zeke if he crossed him

He'll be fine...right? RIGHT?!

he'll probably die in a suicide attack on the monke

I feel like this may be a death-sentence. Levi dying and finally getting the burden of killing Zeke off his chest is a likely/ and good way for his character arc to end.

I just hope he doesn't have a cliche death alongside Zeke.

He'll rest with his comrades soon

He will get more injured, then give a speech to mikasa about letting the man he loved die instead of becoming a monster, then he will die

Watching him makes my anxiety level raised to 100

He's gonna give monkey chan a thousand years of death two finger style

Please just let him rest, he's tired, I'm tired, we're all tired ffs

  YELENA IS HOLDING FAST TO HER BELIEF IN THE EUTHANASIA PLAN AS THE ONLY WAY TO PEACEFULLY END THE CONFLICT. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ZEKE’S PLAN IN HINDSIGHT? 1,620 responses

While the plurality of fans acknowledge Zeke’s plan is better than Eren’s (at 48.2%), only 7.7% say they agree in hindsight, and 5.8% always agreed with Zeke, for a combined 13.5%.  This makes a total of 61.7% who would vote for it over Eren’s plan today.  Interestingly, when Zeke’s plan was first revealed in 114, 76% voted for his plan when given the choice between that and rumbling the world.  So after seeing the rumbling, the support for Zeke’s plan as an alternative has actually dropped.

I get it, Yelena’s something of an ideologue but the fact that she still thinks euthanasia is the way to go is sad

I originally thought forced euthanization was disgusting and now I’m hindsight it’s still disgusting and solves nothing.

I still hate it. The lesser evil doesn't mean it's an optimal solution. Would've kept Kiyomi's plan by sacrificing Historia and only attacking the military forces to keep them at bay.

Thinking with logic only, Zeke had a good plan, but if we put emotions and moral in to play, it's just horrible. I don't support it, not even now.

It's a terrible plan. Eren's plan is evil AF, but it's not stupid. Zeke's plan it's stupid. Imagine throwing your entire nation under the bus because your dad didn't hug you? Zeke's a loser.

Maybe so in this messed up world, but then again no. Both plans are awful, the answer to solving this question was to stop hatred in the first place and find a way to have a conversation with everyone. Clearing the air, stopping the rumors and fake news regarding Eldians being devils, etc.

Both plans are shit. 50 year plan + a partial Rumbling (in other words probably Armin's choice) is the most logical plan.

Denying children being born is denying a human being to grow and live their own live, and experience the world. I never accepted Zeke's plan and never will.

Depends whether you were born in Paradis or outside of Paradis.

Eren's plan is better. It ensures Eldians can survive and continue to grow. Zeke's plan just makes them die out. Me no likey.

50 year plan gang 50 year plan gang

Both plan suck.. But everything fair in love and war so...   The winner was the one who right

There has to be some third option we/they just can't think of that doesn't involve genociding the entire planet *or enslaving another young woman (Historia in this case)

Zeke's plan was the lesser evil OF THESE TWO (Rumbling and Euthanasia). They should have found a third, peaceful option that doesn't kill anyone off.

“Evil is evil, Stregobor. Lesser, greater, middling, it's all the same. Proportions are negotiated, boundaries blurred. I'm not a pious hermit, I haven't done only good in my life. But if I'm to choose between one evil and another, then I prefer not to choose at all.”

  JEAN SEEMED RATTLED BY FLOCH’S FINAL WORDS. HOW DO YOU THINK THEY WILL AFFECT JEAN? 1,641 responses

We’ve seen Jean yearn for a peaceful life on Paradis, and Floch has tried to convince him to give in to that desire before.  Did Floch’s dying words do anything to further affect Jean?  About 69% of respondents say that we will see Jean think on them, but he’ll end up staying with his current convictions.  Interestingly, among the 17.8% who think he will change his mind on helping the alliance, 12.9% think he’ll join Eren and actively oppose the alliance, vs. the 4.9% who think he’ll just abandon the mission like Annie.

After 127 no way is Jean leaving the Alliance. However, I think this will affect his resolve and affect whatever discussion they end up having over how to stop Eren.

Dies trying to avenge Mikasa

He was rattled by Floch's dying moments, as he was one of the last survivors from the Survey corps of Erwin's time

He'll single-handedly stop Eren by telling him how cringe his followers are

he's gonna hesitate when he shouldn't have and will die for it

I feel like it's not the words, but the actions--Floch is who Jean could have been if he didn't see past his own self-interest.

Floch died so his homeland could live. His noble death will inspire Jean to fulfill his duty as a soldier of ELDIA, and oppose the alliance. Thus, Floch will have helped Eldia one last time. Even after he died.

He's too coward to do something about it. Jean's arc was all about suppressing his own desires and keep moving forward; he's a slave of his sense of duty.

I smell another sacrifice coming.

I think it's too late for him to change his mind at this point. We're almost at the end. He'll move forward because that's what he promised Marco. He won't be able to look him and his comrades in the eye if he alters his stance.

  WAS ARMIN THE BEST CHOICE AS COMMANDER? 1,639 responses

From Keith to Erwin, to Hange to Armin.  Was that the right step to take in the line of succession?  The majority, at 61.8% believe that Armin is the perfect choice, at least for this particular Eren scenario.  Just over a quarter, at 26.5% are sticking with Marco saying Jean has the potential to lead.  11.7% are wishing Hange stayed in command instead.

I didn't like the way Hange died and how she left the commander role to Armin. He's probably the worst person to take the job, not long ago he was literally trying to kill himself (chapter 126) cause that's how insecure he is.

"I both believe Jean makes a better overall commander than Armin *and* that Hange's choice in this instant was the correct one.

Jean has more of a skill and flair for leadership. He is, as Marco once said, the every man which makes it easier to follow him. With his attitude, he can inspire others to follow his plans even if they do not closely know him. He also has some more confidence in himself. He doesn't have Armin's mind for crazy strategies, but he still can reasonably think of his feet and is willing to take hard decisions and sacrifices as they are needed. If the story was still like it had been earlier in the manga, with a big Survey corps and regular missions, he should be the commander.

People are arguing who ""deserved"" to be the commander between Armin and Jean, when it doesn't fucking matter because there are like 5 people left in ""old"" SC and they are all on a suicide mission. What *does* matter is that everything was pushed on poor Armin yet again, first Erwin was allowed to die and his legacy was put on him and Hange, who never asked for this, now Hange killed themselves too and left Armin to solve this shit by himself. I wish he would call out Levi, because his decision in Serumbowl is what led to this mess, but we'll probably not get that.

Jean shouldve be the commander but it's okay to be armin

Either Hange should've lived or Jean should've been the commander

Armin becoming Commander was probably the highlight of this chapter for me

I thought it was a good death for hange, but also kind of a combo of all of the above choices; their death seemed rushed just to make armin commander. I don’t hate armin, but I don’t think he should be commander, and it feels so much like isayama had NOTHING planned for hange ad commander, which was extremely disappointing. but at least hans is at peace lol

Armin as commander? Really? He has never really led troops in to battle. He is not a logistician or a tactician. He is only a good strategist, but even then he failed to plan for everything that Eren has so far done. Can you imagine him turning into a titan and attempting to direct everyone? He’ll kill them all or put them on fire by waving his arms. I’m so worried for him and for Jean too. Jean is suppose to be the next commander or why else is he even here?

A bit sad we didn’t get much time with her a commander, but she was a GOAT

A "You Tried" commander that was truly ineffective. Erwin should've been kept around.

Each Survey Corps Commander (current or former) all dedicated their hearts to protect humanity. If someone or something threatens their mission and their lives, they do what is necessary to uphold the mission, mainly giving up their lives in order to give time for their comrades to act. Their sacrifices affect their closest allies to the point that they have to carry on their mission by any means necessary.

Felt like a filler commander for Armin wish Hange had gotten to do more and be more successful

1- Armin isn't the new commander of the survey corps because the SC belongs to Paradise island and he & his group betrayed that place .

2- Armin is the new commander of the alliance .

Not sure of making Armin commander the best choice but mmm yeah, Isayama needed them out of the way to make a final Armin/Eren confrontation *sigh*

survey cops commander is the worst position you can find yourself at the moment. I can't even imagine what's on Armin mind right now

Armin does actually make the better leader. The problem in front of them is Eren. Even though he doubts himself right now, Armin has always been able to understand Eren and get through to Eren in a way others (and definitely not Jean) can't. He's also capable of thinking outside of the box in a manner that this situation needs. Though he's only now made commander, throughout the Rumbling arc, we've already seen that his closest friends look to him for leadership/plans. And while he still lacks self-confidence (though, who knows, maybe he'll get a special Levi talk??) a lot of his other leadership flaws (like his limited ability to command and inspire groups) are not relevant now because there isn't huge group of people anymore. There is just a handful of his friends left who already trust in his abilities. He doesn't need to inspire loyalty right now; that has already been built over years.

Narratively speaking the Alliance are the true successors of the SC, not the Jaegerist and the 15th commander is Armin, not Floch.

Hange should've stayed alive.

king jean commander jean ftw

  COULD SOMEONE ELSE HAVE TAKEN CARE OF THE COLOSSALS IN PLACE OF HANGE? 1,621 responses

We’re losing a lot of veterans lately and suddenly.  After Magath and Keith’s sacrifice a few chapters ago, was Hange’s necessary as well?  The vast majority, at just over ¾ say that others could have technically taken the role, but Hange was still the best choice to stay behind, as morale would be drained much more by the commander sending others to their deaths.

A mix between love and hate. With Shadis' death (specially after Nile and Pixis) I thought that Isayama was judt getting rid of a veteran again. But Hange's death at least had her in character, and she was the one who deserved to see her comrades the most.

At first it was nice to see them sacrificing themselves but then I noticed i didn't really care much. It was too sudden and a copypaste of Magath's death

Hange died because the situation called for it. She did what she had to do because of Floch. I feel like the anime will make it much clearer that Hange HAD to die.

Shoulda been Reiner bruh

I think Armin could use his titan, stand on the water and push avery titan that was going to destroy the Angar but anyway

Shadis' death left a bad taste in my mouth since Magath could've handled the deed on his own. Shadis didn't need to die. Hanji too could've sent someone else in her stead; she is (was) the commander, a veteran, she was necessary. Not saying that I would've wanted Jean or Connie to die or anything, but sending one of these two or Mikasa to hold back the titans would've made sense.

  WHAT IS THE TRUTH BEHIND THE SCENE WHERE HANGE MEETS THE DEAD SCOUTS? 1,649 responses

The scene where Hange, after having died, seems to wake up to meet the rest of the deceased Survey Corps members was a scene unlike any we’ve seen before in this manga. Isayama hasn’t shied away from the depressing reality of death before, so what exactly is happening here? 45.9% of respondents think it was strange enough that something real was happening, Paths, afterlife… something. 30.3% don’t buy it being real and think it was a symbolic scene, perhaps to lessen the pain of Hange’s death. 23.8% think it was purely in Hange’s mind, a euphoric experience to lessen the physical shock of death. Whatever it was, it was remarkable.

Purely symbolic, though I don’t mind if it has to do with Paths

The comrades scene its a metaphore of the relief she had sacrificing herself, being useful just like her comrades and friends before her.

Probably Valhalla, would be pretty badass if it was confirmed in the end to actually be Valhalla or something.

THE AOT AFTER LIFE  IS REAL AND MY BBYS LIVE AGAIN 🤧😭

The author was trying to Placate the audience over killing off a popular character

The characters that died may have their happy ending in heaven

The dead comrades have always been watching over the living.

We only see Eldians, it very well could be a connection to Paths. And it seems like the people you go to are people you knew well and had a strong connection with. ALSO I'M HAPPY WE GOT A GLIMPSE OF SASHA and seeing Erwin for most likely the final time is cool too.

Afterlife real. Dead characters keep on living. Shifters go to PATHS, probably. Expect a specific someone to appear :)

Delusions of a naive and idealistic character. Hange saw what Hange wanted to see.

Dunno, but i REALLY hope that was just Isayama softening the blow for Hanji fans and what not, otherwise having a true afterlife would render all deaths and racrifices pointless and would ruin the whole theme of survival the manga has.

Eren may be using PATHS fuckery to comfort Hange in her death.

I believe the final scene did happen as Instructor Keith is seen in the back and Hange should have no knowledge of his death.

I don't think Isayama particularly cares for fan service in any regard (though Annie x Armin might signal a change), so I don't think he'd dedicate that to make Hange's death any less tragic. I think there's something to it.

  NOW THAT WE’VE SEEN THAT IT’S POSSIBLE FOR OUR DEAD FAVORITE CHARACTERS TO STILL HAVE THEIR SOULS, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR THE REST OF THE STORY? 1,621 responses

If these ghostly figures do make another appearance in the final confrontation, what on earth will they do?! 43.1% say they don’t matter damn it, because they’re not even real. 32.2% think the dead characters might be alive in some kind of afterlife, but it’s just an interesting part of the SnK universe. 18.8% think that PATHS will make its infinite fuckery known once again, and 6% think that those ghosts are going to make a difference standing up to Eren – how is he gonna fight against a million dead guys, huh?

The most interesting part about the data we got was a surge in responses for only this and the previous question. About 300 entries to the poll which only wanted to submit that “It was purely symbolic and Hange did not experience this,” and “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts. It was just in Hange’s mind or symbolic.” Now that is curious indeed. For someone who ain’t afraid of ghosts, I’m sensing some real trepidation here!

They likely will not interact with nor affect the coming events, as their roles have already played out.

" Valhalla’s battle-honed residents are there by the will of Odin, who collects them for the perfectly selfish purpose of having them come to his aid in his fated struggle against the wolf Fenrir {Fenir had been previously associated with Eren by fans} during Ragnarok – a battle in which Odin and the einherjar are doomed to die."

Setup for Reiner to converse with his fallen comrades.

Afterlife. Not convinced it's significant in any way, but would love it to be

An afterlife would be completely unnecessary for the story and make things needlessly more complicated for little reason/narrative payoff.

Feels like a set up for an ending where even if everyone dies they can be together in the afterlife

Mobuhan is fucking real

Hange is in heaven, surrounded by everyone who she's fought alongside. She can't help the alliance in any way, but she can watch them win. And they will win.

They are bystanders.

  CARE TO EXPOUND YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS SCENE AND WHAT IT MEANS? 611 responses

Through PATHS the thought of 'Afterlife' is possible. And if it isn't, then it's nice to hallucinate something good while they're dying.

Is hange really dead?

it means ERWIN KNOWS WHAT'S IN THE BASEMENT AYEEEE

IT MEANS ERWIN GETS MORE LINES WOOO

y'know how from the start there's been the idea that the survey corps have been making sacrifices that no one will ever care about? this is a rebuke to that. Hange, like every other survey corps member, is watched over by their own dead and now Hange gets to be a part of the ghost crew that watches over the corps and occasionally appears to freak out the commander. I also tend to dislike the idea that this manga has a perfectly happy afterlife because it cheapens the goal they're fighting for and comes dangerously close to validating Reiner's attempt.

You should have given a choice of this is symbolic. Ya'll should really read more fiction if ya'll think this is really the afterlife ffs

Afterlife makes all the deaths useless and less impactful, hope it's not a thing.

All the Eldians have the ability to “stay” alive after they die thanks to the paths dimension.

All this suffering to get an afterlife?!?

Although I do think that an afterlife could be possible, I don't think it'll affect the story. It may come back during the epilogue, but I can't figure out how Isayama could use it for the main story plot.

Anything is possible, either it's Hange's own hallucinations or something real. Though i would like for it to be smth tangible, (esp since a clue was that Hange didn't know Shadis died but he appeared anyways). idk I'd just like for everyone to be happy and see each other again 😭

Beetroot alive in PATHS and he's gonna kill Eren

Being dead is happier than living in this world, such an uplifting moral Isayama

Both Hange and Erwin thought about their comrades and "saw" them when their role was weighing on them. I don't think I have nothing against it being real, but I like the symbolism. Some things are cooler when I don't overthink.

Perhaps it will be less edgy to see so much death if there is an afterlife in SnK, but use the opportunity well! For me it was a gift to see the veterans again: Moblit caring for Hange, Erwin being in peace, Mike being there after the impact that he gave us…

every time "ghosts" have been shown in attack on titan they've just been visual depictions of the character's mental state.

Everyone who begged to see Erwin in another chapter can finally be at peace

Expansion of what chapter 85 already implied

I don't care, I'm just happy we get to see our babies again.

I think it is some sort of a special place in paths because they are standing on where Hange died, that's really weird if if it's afterlife, if it's afterlife they should be in a paradise or a peaceful place, but no. It's weird if they are all ghosts like almost the survey corps are in that area

I think it means that every dead soldier have meaning and we shouldn't forget them

I think it shows that their deaths weren’t in vain and they are watching over their comrades. It was a truly moving scene.

I think it's symbolic. Honestly with all the discourse around this scene I am not sure if it was even worth it to include.

I don't believe she's dead. We have an unexplained memory shard of her without glasses (ch130) and one of the panels this chp looks like she lost her glasses.

if levi could hurry up and join them that´d be great

If Yams tries to pull a kny I'm gonna rip him a new one. This is bullshit and he should stop before people believe there is an afterlife in aot. This doesn't fit into the story he created for years. But he is willing to kill his own world in hopes to get some readers back from stealing smth from a way more successful manga. It's pathetic.

Im still in doubt if the afterlife scene really happened since erwin is still missing his arm while the others are just fine. I hope its all just in hange's head and that someone from the boat could rescue her.

It might be the Path. Because just like Eren Kruger said, "All Eldians is connected to what we say the coordinate." This maybe a paradise or a heaven that Eren or someone with the founding titan and royal blood can control.

It only serves to dramatize hange's death. No shit, I was crying like hell when I read this scene😭😭 other than that it's just like other deaths we've seen before, only to set a dramatic and brutal tone for a thriller series

The remaining of Hange blood in the floor indicates she/he was already dead,  so no hallucinations in her last moments. Symbolic? Doesn’t sound like isayama. The only symbolic stuff in manga concerns the cult to Ymir. Has to be a connection through paths.

They really gave their hearts to humanity, they were all incredible, and it's really nostalgic to see them in this way

This scene wasn't here for no reason. It just felt different from any other vision we've seen, and I believe it'll come into play later on.

This was Hange's imagination because she saw the dead ones in the same shape she saw them alive last time like Mike and Nanaba. Erwin too(without one hand)

those who died are finally set free

You just died and entered spectator mode

  FAVORITE PIECK MOMENT THIS CHAPTER? 1,601 responses

For a chapter not focused on Pieck plotwise, there sure were a lot of short moments with her.  The two most popular options being her shooting down Hange’s ask for a ride with no hesitation, and vowing to give her comrade’s sacrifices meaning.  A moment of meme and a moment of serious nature, perfectly balanced.

Idk but Pieck is a bad bitch

Pieck sounds like she may turn on everyone in the end but I hope not.

pieck finger = some kind of marleyan erwin smith

Pieck is gonna DIE 😭

Pieck isn't really interesting....and she doesnt do any Import to the others....Just for Reiner maybe

Pieck will sacrifice herself for the sake of her fallen comrades. (that's what I think)

  WHICH “FRINGE” THEORY DO YOU BELIEVE IN? 1,597 responses

Despite the manga racing towards its conclusion crack theorists have had no shortage of new material, most recently with the bizarre amount of focus given to birds and Hange’s warm welcome to the afterlife. We wanted to find out which of these fringe theories have a broader appeal.

Nearly half the fandom is no fun at all, selecting “These theories are all just cope” (49%). For the rest of us “Birds are spies” apparently requires the least amount of tin foil since just over a third of the fandom thinks it has potential (35.4%). “The ghosts are real” (16.7%), Historia’s pregnancy is fake (13.7%) and the “The birds ARE the ghosts” (8.7%) didn’t fare quite as well.

Overall a great chapter. But this whole Theory of there being an afterlife in Attack on Titan is utterly ridiculous and extreme coping.

The afterlife thing was completely garbage and was easily the worst part of the chapter.

I believe that afterlife exists. It has nothing to do with paths, titan powers or religions. It is just afterlife, where souls of dead soldiers may find a peace. The world of SnK was always "cruel but also beautiful". Cruel - because innocent people die, but beautiful - because there is still a hope for happiness for their souls.

the birds...work for the bourgeoisie

I hope it's all symbolism but these "dead people" motive have been weirdly often mentioned in the story. People asking Erwin if he thinks that "dead have no regrets" in season 1. Levi Ova called " No regrets". Erwin asking Levi if he thinks that dead are watching them in S.3. There is also role Valhalla plays in Ragnarok in Mythology...

  WHICH MOMENT OF LEVITY BEFORE THE DOOM OF THIS CHAPTER WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 1,633 responses

THAT face from Mikasa was the highlight for 28.2% of you. I don’t think she’s ever been that stunned. 22.8% loved that one of Hange’s priorities was getting to ride the Cart Titan in the future, and Pieck not having it. 17.6% enjoyed Levi being the butt of a joke even as Hange was about to meet their doom, and 14.5% appreciated Levi throwing his fans a finger bone. Annie talking with Reiner about the good old days earned a laugh for 13.3% of you, and 3.5% liked seeing Levi throw shade at Yelena’s kinks.

the "what the heck" face on mikasa's face  after realising annieés feelings made my day.LOL

Levi x Yelena is cute and soon to be canon

Poor Levi. He cearly is still not recovered but his comment on being forgotten was a nice knock on the fourth wall.

Uh... you feeling okay, Yelena?

"I AM GONNA KILL THE BEAST TITAN"   "Okay grandpa, now let's get you to bed"

  DESCRIBE THE CHAPTER IN ONE WORD 1,065 responses

I get the feeling this chapter was a little upsetting for many. But then again, three over the top five words were the same as last month! Such is the life of an SnK fan. The top five words this time were:

Pain [143] Sad [56] Heartbreaking [29] Emotional [24] Sacrifice [20]

For those of you still thinking this is a cookbook, it's obvious you're making soup for your souls. Tangy, Cheesy, Hot, Chile, and YAMS must be the dish that represents this chapter.

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,634 responses

Are we actually about to see the final confrontation?! I can hardly believe it, but 48.6% of you are goddamn ready for it. 17.9% still want to see Historia’s own POV (what, weren’t you satisfied with that one convoluted flashback?), and 15.5% would like to see some kind of discussion before the alliance launches into an undoubtedly insanely reckless maneuver. Also, Zeke had better come back soon or I’ll forget to put him in the options again!

girl i wanna see eren with the alliance

Next chapter I hope to see Zeke, you didn't put the option

We really really need to see Historia. She's been missing from the narrative for so long, and the flashback crumbs from Eren's memories explained nothing.

Surprises ..!!! More of them...flashback about carl fritz ...zeke ...more about eren ...we wanna more important moments and facts

I'd like to know what happened with Zeke. Is he dead? Is he merged with Eren? Is he still back on paradis? What's going on?

Alright, where is Zeke? I've lost my patience.

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,492 responses

Reddit maintains the lead this month, with just a few percentage points over Twitter, which takes second. A bit behind Twitter is “In real life”, which goes to show that Attack on Titan fans are total chads with social lives. Stay safe and don’t die though! After real life comes Discord, with 22.3% of the vote. Trailing Discord, in order, is Instagram, Youtube, “I don’t”, Facebook, 4Chan, the wiki, Snapchat, and Steam. Much to my dismay, this question was made multiple choice this month, which MEANS that, in theory, some of you could have ~erroneously~ voted Snapchat. Either that’s the case, or you lot are multiplying far faster than I’d anticipated… I’m going to elect to believe the former on account of not wanting to believe the latter.

  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 497 responses

What the fuck is doing the survey corps

where is that goddamn monke

WHERE IS THE MONKE

snkpolls admins please hold me

Floch with wet hair looks cool.

Glad to see yams isnt afraid to kill characters, I was getting worried.

I have a love/hate relationship with Floch, and while I disagree with the rumbling, his last words got to me and it was sad.

I honestly found Floch's death to be tragic, even though he was a bastard, he still believed he was fighting for Paradis's wellbeing

I laughed when random Floch appeared, but I hate that his actions lead to Hange deciding to sacrifice herself.

Even though the manga it's coming to an end Isayama really gives us details which is interesting in order to understand the storyline but I'd like more action

Even though we didn't see him this chapter, Hanji's sacrifice took me from "Eren must be stopped" to "I WILL strangle Eren to death with my own two hands". Dude's ground-breaking idea of rumbling got Hanji killed and he will pay for that.

Everything about this chapter was just so breathtaking. I Loved this chapter so much it was just amazing. Words can’t even describe how I feel. Only thing I didn’t like was floch shooting the plane. God answering these just makes me wanna cry.

Also Bert mentions! We're finally going to see him soon and have a long-awaited RB-union!

REALLY GLAD I FOUND AOT BEFORE IT ENDS , I wish Annie and armin ends up, and jean and mikasa 👀👀👀 dont judge me please. It really gave more insight on the feelings of the alliance now.

WHY ISAYAMA, WHY?!

Why no Bertholdt :(

Why no one is happy?

I feel like the fandom would've broken if only an Alliance member died, so to make things equal, we lost a Yeagerist and an Alliance member.

EREN IS A VILLAIN

FLOCH DID NOTHING WRONG

Listen. I couldn't stop crying, like UGLY sobs, from the moment Hange says they're gonna "do it" and then they become all "Armin Arlert" and "I hereby name you" and then I was DONE. Buckets of tears, squealing noises, repeating "no no no" while rereading the same panels over and over again. I Loved Hange. I loved them so much. They were THAT kind of weird, they were passionate, smart, funny... I loved them, but I love how they got to choose how to die, and when, and especially knowing their death will be useful for the others. They died fighting brilliantly, and I will love them, and they will inspire me forever. Farewell Hange, have a nice time in the afterlife with all your fallen comrades, knowing you can stand tall and proud among them.

No one can force Annie to stay. But I can't believe everyone's just fine with this. The world is fckin' ending and only by a miracle they can win, there's NO WAY those people are compromised to the gravity of the situation if they're all just "yeah, Annie is a titan and she's out, let's get the other titan too because he's a kid, Pieck I thought you were coming to the ship too?", because it really sounds like they're not even trying at this point. Is this a walk in the park or the destiny of all people in the world?? :/

Levi’s “see you later, Hange” reminds me of Mikasa’s “see you later, Eren” in the first chapter. A foreshadow of Eren’s eventual demise?

There still isn't a third realistic alternative.

Hange sacrifice was the greater good and I hope the alliance makes the most of this chance, For those they have lost. For those they can yet save

Hange knows their time is near and they are correct.

There was no need to kill off Hange, felt forced and rushed

this armin/annie stuff had better go somewhere plotwise after wasting cringy panels on it that could have been dedicated to less rushed interactions between other alliance members. might as well just kill the alliance off at this point and let reiner finally die, since their chapters are such a drop in quality.

This chapter and the previous two are perfect reminders that we're at the point of no return in the final arc. While I want to see some good moments, twists, and any loose ends tied by now (Zeke, WHERE ARE YOU?!!), it's all going to be all doom and gloom from here on out. Whether Eren or the Alliance succeeds depends on how these next chapters turn out; Whoever wins, bloodshed will continue until the Rumbling ends.

I realised Hange probably has huge survivors guilt and that she wanted to die, and wanted to make her old friends proud(who are dead)

They all really cared for Hange a lot and that's sweet.

They should have a concrete plan on how to stop eren if they could

Things are gonna get wild.

Great chapter, and I'm really excited to see how the Alliance and Eren confrontation plays out. This ending has the potential to be absolutely legendary.

Half of the characters have no hope in what they are doing (the "leaders") but do that because "ThEY hAD tO" and another half will makes me sad because they dont care about eren plan really (not speaking about gaby and falco)

Hange could have exited the story in another way, I guess.

Hange's death should have been more dramatic.

Hange's death was handles perfectly and the chapter had it's fair share of humour.

Hange's death was rushed, could've been better handled. Floch's selfless death was the only high point,  and maybe LH being semi-confirmed.

Honestly, I don't hate Hange but I wish she had lived to see the consequences of her betrayal of Paradis, by putting her own feelings and morals over her own people's wellfare; for better or worse, her actions will have huge repercussions on the entire island and she should be there to take responsibility over the inevitable fallout. Even though she never tried to avoid responsibility over her choices, and I genuinely respect her for sacrificing herself over her ideas, it honestly feels to me like death was an easy way out from having to deal with Paradis' fate (SPECIALLY if the Valhalla stuff is real) while leaving Armin to clean up her mess.

Levihan is real

i expected sex on the ship or aruani huge/kiss/touch

Honestly, I'm just following it because I got used to reading a chapter every month, but the story is terrible now. Hange's death only served to confirm that Isayama intends to have a 'final battle' between childhood friends, nothing unexpected.

hope we get more from Jean

Hope we now start going into the final confrontation cause this chapter seemed setup to that.

As I've said before, I'll miss Hange. RIP you absolute legend.

Hopefully we get to see historia

Hoping for more Hanji backstory.

I don’t need a heart to live

I don’t see how this story can have any sort of a happy ending

I dont see a possible ending where all these characters can live the rest of their lives in peace but oh well

This chapter dropped massive death flags on Armin and Pieck. These two aren't going to last. Yelena is probably dead from compartment syndrome next chapter.

This chapter honestly makes me more scared for Levi because I was hoping he would get the kind of ending that Hange got. Now we just have to wait and wonder about how much more pain Isayama is going to put him through.

ZEKE WHEN ?????? I MISS YOU

I’m frustrated with the direction the story is going in. Armin being made commander, Hange dying, Annie being brought back just to confess to Armin and then be sidelined, Mikasa being the one to kill Floch, it all just seems to make little narrative sense. I don’t feel like we’re building to a clever twist, it all feels capricious and random

After comparing Hange’s death in the manga to Erwin’s death in the manga, I can safely say that Hange’s death was better. Hange’s had comedy like her complaining about how hot the CTs were and of course that line she said to Pieck, it was sad with the Levi and Hange moments and the chapter’s conclusion, and it was epic with her killing 3-4 Colossal Titans, getting scorched to death and her dead body falling until she got trampled in the Rumbling. Erwin’s was just epic with bringing the entire Survey Corps going down with him. If Mappa does well with the anime, this will break the internet for sure and this death will be remembered.

bruh my favorite character just fucking died

It was a quick way for removing another veteran. I feel that the vets sacrifice their lives too easily. They see their own existance like it was some rpg game and they were going to go back to life after while. First Magath and Shadis decided to commit heroic suicide, now Hange decided to leave this world "just like that"/ C'mon, people don't give up with their lives so fast..

Oh, and this chapter made me start shipping levihan!

characters stop dying challenge

This and next chapter are the calm before the storm. And once that storm comes, this is going to end up as either a great story or a perfect story. Also, what the heck happened to Zeke? I need answers on that matter.

At this point the only way for this story to end in a satisfying manner is for Eren to kill everyone, successfully finish the Rumbling and save his people.

Aún estoy llorando.

I feel Hange should have been given more space to make a bigger impact as a commander. It’s like, Erwin always made gambles that magically worked out for him in the grand scheme of things (for the most part and in a group with a horrible survival rate like the SC no less) but for whatever reason Hange just stuck their thumb up their butt and twirled the whole time. Sometimes making one character smart results in everyone else only being allowed to have one shared brain cell. Overall I liked Hange a lot but they were done dirty. And blaming Eren for everything? Lol Hange. You can put your clown nose on now.

Overall best leader? Jean. Best leader for this particular set of circumstances? Armin.

I can't wait until the Alliance realize their futile efforts and come face to face with the reality that, Eren has power over the memories of all subjects of Ymir and can control their titan shifting.

Isayama just want to kill everyone,isn't he? In every chapter we've got deaths this is just depressing. Isayama I respect you but I hate you but I respect you but I hate you.

I cried buckets while reading it, so props to Isayama for that! :)

I cried when Floch died and I laughed when Hange died .

I don't have words for that. I am just lucky enough to be able to witness this  work while

Pain. So much pain. Levihan pain. Aruani pain... *cries for a week while preparing self for more tears in the near future*

i just want everyone to be friends again😭

Jean has not been about stopping Eren from the get-go. I think we are up for a MAJOR revelation about his own involvement in Eren’s plans.

Hange should be survived

Hange should've not died in this chapter since we still do not know the clear plan of the alliance. Their death was written in a hurry, not as epic as Erwin.

Hange was my favorite character. But, as much as I am sad to see her go, her last moments were pretty epic, I am looking forward to see how it will affect the rest of the story.

Hange wasn't a good commander no matter how much her fans cry about it. her being a good character is another thing altogether.

My babies Yelena, Pieck, Reiner, Gabi, and Falco deserve the world.

Hange's manner of death, in her own terms fighting to save others, is my favorite so far.

Hanji death was unnecessary and Floch death only made Allience look worse then they already are

0/10 no Zeke

Jean is the only one who undestands eren and Floch

Jean never really supported the Alliance, he will try to reason Eren's plan isn't all that bad.

Jean will see Flochs words as a possible option but i dont see him going through with opposing The Alliance. He made his choice when he joined them.

(THE DEAD SPEAK LMAOOO) I really liked this chapter but it’s still horrible and traumatizing like the 131 (wait actually the 131 is way more horrible 😭)

Amazing art as always.

Amazing yet sad chapter since I respected both hange and falco and to see them die was pretty sad.

ANNIE AND ARMIN FOREVER. I want her to be free to be soft and caring and to have someone who loves and adores her. I love this dynamic and I think it’s a good foil to Eren and Historia

ANNIE IS THE BEST GIRL!

I want Reiner to live on as the clinically depressed sole survivor.

i’m still broken. hange and sasha were my comfort characters✌🏻😭

Idc but your quiz suck

Idk its just i'm pretty sad about hange's death cuz she was one oof my top waifus

One of my favorites ✊😔 rip Hange

One ship. I just want ONE CANON SHIP by the end of this, Isayama. JUST ONE. Is it really too much to ask, man. I've already given you plenty of my tears to sip on so idk what more you want from me...

Only Armin, Mikasa, Levi and Reiner will survive.

OUCH

Please stop making Levi suffer be it a final rest or a peaceful life anything PLEASE

Please, don't let anyone else die :(

Plot wise it was shit, but I love it for the drama

POGGERS

Poor Levi. Everyone important to him was taken away. Also, HANGE GOAT.

Poor Reiner.

rest in peace Hange "nonbinary icon" Zoe

rest in peace king, now is in Eren hand to keep giving meaning to your life

Really was good. Hange went out in a great way.

Surprised Floch didn't end up killing anyone, especially no named engineers, Yelena or Connie.

The way Mikasa shot the grappling hook at Floch’s throat was like how Levi killed an MP by shooting their throat during Uprising. Ackermans can access the battle experience of other Ackermans through Paths – Mikasa learnt that move from Levi.

I would think that this chapter should have gotten into more interactions between Armin and Annie, because i feel as though their relationship should be explored a bit further. Given that we know that both do like each other, it should be seen on how these two handled their possibly last goodbyes.

I'm just gonna let it flow

I'M NEVER GETTING OVER HANJI'S DEATH

Hange is one of the most well-written characters of a manga abounding with them. I love the way they always stayed true to their ideals without wavering, despite all their doubts about their suitability as Commander. Their open-mindedness, humour and love for knowledge make them truly special, and their most quintessential line must be this one from chapter 127: "'Just bringing freedom to this island is enough for me'. Do you think a single one of [the dead Survey Corps] would be so narrow-minded as to say that?" Chills. Very glad they chose Armin as their successor as well before taking down the colossals. They will be missed.

I'm quite curious about Armin's next moves. He is the commander now after all. Also, wondering what Levi is going to do now.

I'm really curious about the weapon that Yelena brought up to the alliance

i get the feeling that annie has had all the closure she needs and she’s gonna die but at least she might pass on her power to gabi ? either way i’ll be devastated to see her go

I HATE it that Hanji had to die, but loved the way she got her heroic moment. It's a love/hate chapter for me.

I have fears of Annie to die

I hope Levi lives just so he can be the most tragic character in AOT.

I hope soon, eren can stop all of this thing

I it wasn’t for the spoilers, Hange’s death would have break my heart.

I just hope Levi found his peace and die, please. He's already lost Hange, please don't make him suffering more.

I just thought it was impressive that this was one of the three moments in the whole story that actually made me ugly cry (Other two were Hannes' death and Serumbowl)

The more i think on Hanges death the more i like/understand it.

The sad looks on Levi and Hanji's faces are enough to say thousands of unspoken words. Nuff said.

Reiner is immortal

reiner looked hot af

This beast of a man, how many hours did he spend nearly drowning with a wounded arm? I got to really care about him even if his ""political"" choice was the worst. I just wanted him to have a dignified end and he had (even if Jean wasn't the one to do it). And the vignette... Perfect. In the end, he really fought as the devil he needed so much, no matter their identity. Relax, honey. Now you're safe from Eren's bullshit.

i miss hanji

I need HISTORIAAAA

I need more PATHS and I smell it coming

...i´m tired.

The Survey Corps never actually fought for humanity prior to the Rumbling, only against it. Hange even states this irony in chapter 89. The "well, the Corps was always fighting for humanity" rationalization is just disingenuous cope that ignores everything that got revealed with the basement and, by extension, the plot itself.

Super based

I really just want to see how this ends already.

I still can't believe Hange died. And to think that Levi's got no one else in his life anymore breaks my heart. I've always think that Levi and Hange should be together until the end. Not shipping them tho. I don't if it's platonic or romantic,but they love and care for each other. And Levi realising that his only friend is going to die and his eyes turn dark like an abyss really makes me feel like broken in half. And that dedicate your heart scene..oh my god I can't. And Hange still got some nerves to joke around at time really made me goes "HANGEEE-SANN!!"༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

Floch's final moments were sorely needed to remind us just how human he really is. He didn't care about ruling the country or destroying the alliance. All he wanted was for his people and the island to survive, and he felt the alliance was putting that in jeopardy so he did what he thought he had to do.

Isayama keeps killing my favorite characters

I liked the chapter but it felt unnecessary Floch probably should have died before the boat left and Hange was killed off to lighten the cast and make Armin commander.  Hange and Levi probably could have died/stayed in the forest.

R.I.P. in horny titan jail

I like this manga. Very much so ❤

#snk polls #snk poll #snk chapter 132 #snk poll results

[idlecreature]

the buried fic comment from hell (it's so long i'm SO SORRY, I GOT EXCITED)

DEL.. I WASN’T SURE IF IT WAS APPROPRIATE TO LEAVE A LONG ASS COMMENT ON UR BURIED FIC IN PUBLIC….. SO I’M DROPPING IT HERE i’m so sorry in advance this is about to be a mess,, i’m so fucking emotional right now

((the review under the cut is in response to my fic which can b read here))

okay first –

The mental image of tiny gangly Barnabas and Jonah crouched with their hands in the dirt….. is so fucking cute?? I could feel Jonah’s jealousy just burning off of him. You had me right away. Fuck. You know how to open a story and I’m deeply envious, I’ve always struggled with it. Also, you threw in that little hook:

Despite what Jonah believes, there are some things that just can’t be explained in words.

Barnabas’ voice is so fucking good… guh… you know. I didn’t much care about Barnabas in any deep way before I joined the Jonah server and you guys have all just completely GUTTED me, I can’t believe how much I care about this highly-strung bastard,, he is so GOOD. HE’S SO GOOD???? HE’S SUCH A SWEETIE. LIKE. BARNABAS FEELING GUILTY AND HORRIFIED THAT PEOPLE ARE GRATEFUL TO HIM AND WANT HIM AROUND???? AAAAAAAAAA. And the melancholy aspect, too, which I imagine is how Mordechai was able to relate to him, get attached to him… Barnabas being bitter about how useless his tears are while he’s crying anxiously at the prospect that he might not be able to help those families after all…….

All of those scraps of Barnabas’ letter to Jonah made such EXCELLENT transitions, holy hell. Again I am inspired by your storytelling prowess. I am taking notes, for whenever my ability to write longform fic returns from war. This one was my favorite, made my heart clench:

A good world starts with a good person and a few choices that are made with the heart—

He’s so earnest I’m going to weep ;_; Barny.. you can’t make Jonah a better person he’s AWFUL,,

(Side note, super digging that I can indent stuff, block quoting makes this SO much easier.)

Also really digging that Jonah doesn’t have as nice a reputation as Barnabas… Jonah is the bad influence friend lmfao. AND JONAH’S CAT… I LOVE HIM…

And then you delivered a swift blow straight to the religion kink, as promised… “There’s something undeniably old testament about Jonah; the fire and fury of creation, the self-annihilating stare of Lot’s wife.“ LOSING IT I’M LOSING IT… WHAT A WAY OF DESCRIBING HIM God, here I thought I couldn’t possibly be more attracted to this bastard man. I am aghast at myself.

LOSING IT EVEN MORE OVER BARNABAS STACKING TEACUPS ON JONAH’S HEAD???? Why must you make them so fucking cute oh NO this is going to hurt isn’t it. ((This was the note I stuck in the Word doc while I was reading it and I thought I’d leave it as was for your enjoyment))

“Taking cues from your dreams?” Barnabas replies. “You know only the desperately mad do that?” 

“Or desperately inspired—savants and prophets and visionaries.”

And then you continued to try to kill me… Jonah thinking of himself as a prophet……. hhhhh canon-typical overambitious zealotry I’m HERE FOR IT………

“Are you trying to make me angry with you by playing the devil’s advocate?” 

“Just testing you,” Jonah says in his alloyed voice, silver-and-honey-gold. 

Del I cannot stress enough… My religion kink………. It’s been SO VERY ACTIVATED.

“Your morality has only ever been a thin cover for your shame.”

OUCH, JONAH, JESUS

Every bit of their dialogue was so familiar and tinged with bittersweetness and I owe you my entire life… Sincerely. Ugh. Like, how you described Barnabas’ internal angst about it later on – when he’s thinking of Mordechai, and he refers to "his many dog-eared fantasies” about Jonah it just really vividly conjured the thought of he and Jonah having a sort of? Queer solidarity, ESPECIALLY having grown up together. And that makes Jonah’s flash of betrayal at Barnabas not wanting to be SEEN with him that much more agonizing, personally. Like. I’ve had that happen to me more than once in real life. And much as Jonah is a piece of shit who is absolutely manipulating him………. still, ouch. Ouch. (Barnabas’ thoughts on the company Jonah keeps also made me wince. You did an AMAZING job with all of the internalized shame and frantic rationalizations, hooooooboy.)

The Lukases being colorblind is such an interesting piece of lore by the way I love it????? Now I have. Some questions, about Peter. Mordechai’s characterization in this is so fascinating to me. I’m enTRANCED by how you reverse-Uno’d it so that Barnabas was the reason Mordechai lost himself to the Lonely… the power dynamics……. so tasty. Ugh. And all of the sensual descriptions, especially of that first visit Barnabas had at Moorland house?? I didn’t clip any because I would have ended up clipping the whole fucking thing. It was aching, haunting, beautiful, holyshit. Their romance is somehow more fucked up than Barnabas and Jonah’s…

Also, I was so eager to read this I skipped the tags/warnings and completely didn’t realize Mordechai was going to be an actual vampire so that was a VERY fun surprise lmfao.

Barnabas feels like he’s close to learning something about violence and desire, how close they are, how the wires can get crossed.

THIS QUOTE IS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEE ugh I’m having an aneurysm over how Jonah managed to fashion Barnabas into a creature that could understand him by gifting him to Mordechai for a while… letting Mordechai crack him open at the points where he was already brittle and experience an influx of some of the true darkness of the world. Just a tasty taste. That way when he discovers the truth of Jonah’s occult interests he won’t run away, because he’s already got his own fingers in the mess. He’s already given himself to one horror, why not Jonah? Shave some of the shine off of his morality, make him nice and gray so he won’t contrast so much with Jonah… And satisfying his curiosity at the same time. Two birds.

Oh, also, still sobbing about this line:

he realises that he doesn’t want to wear any colours that Mordechai can’t properly see.

EVERY TIME I let my guard down for ten seconds you smacked me with more of Barnabas being the most precious bleeding heart in the universe!!!!!! He aches so much for the people he’s trying to help and he hates people like Mordechai but part of him also wants to save Mordechai, somehow… maybe recognizes the parts of him that are like these people, still. Nearly faded but not quite gone yet. And as you’ve already established, Barnabas simply cannot let things go. Can’t disappoint people… can’t leave them when he could be doing something. Anything. Augh, FEELINGS.

Of course he knew Mordechai and Jonah were friends, he’d just temporarily believed in a sane and fair universe where things like this don’t happen. 

AND YOU HAD SUCH A PERFECT BALANCE OF HUMOR… This could have been such a feelbad fic, and tbh it still would have been spectacular. But you always eased it at just the right moment to keep it from going off the rails into irretrievable deepdark territory. Fed me little soft moments so I’d still be vulnerable enough to have my HEART RIPPED OUT LATER…

I’m not super interested in the Buried canon-wise but I love how you’ve written Barnabas’ natural affiliation with it… so subtle but powerful? (Of COURSE Jonah was jealous, lmao. He had to work so hard and he’s still not on Barnabas’ level. There’s some kinda beautiful commentary on ambition versus goodwill in there somewhere but I’m too busy nursing my battered little heart right now to articulate it.) It wove its way in and out of the rest of the plot so naturally, too. For some reason it compliments Barnabas’ temperament as I read it in canon just… so well. Was there a discussion about this on the server, and if so, PLEASE tell me about it sometime I’m so fascinated.

Jonah wasn’t even present for a lot of the fic but his characterization was so INTENSE and luminous, Christ… I know I already praised it a bit but. Woof. I wasn’t expecting to get a taste of his POV at the end and I was so excited I kicked my feet (my cat was very disgruntled) like, this line!!!

Now, he thinks there’s some truth in those false statements, in the lies we tell and why we want to be believed.

GOD, YOU’RE REALLY GONNA GIVE ME FEELINGS ABOUT JONAH AND FUTURE-JONAHLIAS IN THE SAME FIC?????? EVIL… I’m so so so fucking here for it, oh my God, Jonah with an amplifying anxiety disorder, THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITY… too bad the Eye doesn’t let you see the future, Jonah, lmao… the line “immortality just made his anxiety turn nuclear” is SEARED into my brain now, I am NOT accepting canon to contradict this ever again. I’ve always wondered how Jonah’s neuroses might have worsened in two entire fucking CENTURIES and I love the way you wrote it. I am fucking. Losing my mind.

There’s so many other things I could comment on, like. The brief but glorious Jonah-grinding-himself-off-on-Barnabas’-thigh shenanigans. Was incredibly hot, and Mordechai’s poor fragile heart breaking, and Barnabas telling Isabel that it’s fine to call him Barny…….. I’m hhhhhhhhHHHH fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m just!! I am incomprehensible!!! Everyone told me this fic was amazing but it’s fucking amazing, Del, what the hell. I’m never gonna be the same after this. The end was SHOCKINGLY sweet and I have WHIPLASH.

………… So, now that I’ve made you read a novel. Hah. Sorry. My point is. I loved every bit of this. It deserved heaps more praise but my eyes are starting to cross. Thx for sharing :’) 

Love,

Tony xx

TONY. TONY THIS MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. FIRSTLY I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THIS. SECOND OF ALL, THANKS TO YOU I’LL BE SCREAMING FROM THE ROOFTOPS FOREVER HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW THIS REVIEW HAS AFFECTED ME? IT’S THE BEST FEEDBACK I’VE EVER RECIEVED IN MY LIFE I FEEL LIKE A FIRSTGRADER GETTING THEIR FIRST GOLD STAR I FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD LIKE I COULD THROW THE JEWEL OF THE SEA OFF THE SHIP AND LEAN OVER THE RAILINGS BECAUSE YOUR ARMS ARE AROUND ME TONY IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN A FIREPLACE KEEPING ME WARM THROUGH THE WINTER MONTHS I LOVE YOU DEARLY FOR THIS YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE CHAMPION IF YOU WERE IN FRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW I WOULD FRENCH KISS YOU WITHOUT HESISTATION UNTIL THE BOTH OF US HAVE RUN OUT OF AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING BLESS YOU TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

#fic review #mayormurdock #what the fuckkkkkk tony when are you getting your sainthood #long post #submission

[anakinthetrashking]

Ok, so you reblogged my post about bnha fic recs and I also looked through the ones you linked and I LOVED THEM. If its alright to ask, would you happen to have more Protective Aizawa or possibly Dadmic or Protective Present Mic? Also Protective Midnight or Momnight? Only if you have! Thanks! -bnhastanning

I somehow stupidly lost my reply to this ask, not once, but TWICE. at the end, when i was almost done. im so sorry but this will be the crappiest version yet... (also! hello, fellow batfam fan... *spiderman pointing meme*)

I read a lot of fic and i loooooove sharing them with people, so thanks for giving me an excuse to do this!! :D

lots of fics, so im putting them under the read more! One of these days I’ll get around to making more organized fic rec posts...

Dadmic: only a couple, and tbh i think they have more dadzawa in them?? Secondary Colors by NaoNazo

"You got pushed down the stairs... and you're apologizing for it," he stated blandly. "That seems counterintuitive." "Um... sorry?" Izuku whispered. He was starting to shake a little, adrenaline flooding his veins and leaving him cold. He had no idea what Purple was going for with his blunt statements and the hand reaching toward his shoulder as if to steady him, but apologizing was generally safe. "You don't have to apologize, dude. I don't know your name, but I doubt it's actually Deku." "Um. Midoriya." Izuku peered sideways at Purple as they rounded the corner. "Izuku Midoriya. Deku is just, um, just what my... friends call me." He winced. "Sounds real friendly."

and Cat Days by Griffinrose

Izuku has a shapeshifting quirk. He's not the best at controlling it, especially under stress. So when tragedy strikes and he gets lost in the city, he's stuck as a cat. At least he found a nice underground hero to take him in?

Pied Piper by Blackholeca has some really great concerned Dadmic in recent chapters!!

If they wouldn’t give him a chance then the solution seemed simple, he’d give himself one. He’d force the world to see him, force them to recognize his hard work. He wasn’t missing a quirk, it was simply that everyone else had been given an advantage. He wasn’t broken, or useless, or incapable, and he’d prove it by outrunning all of them, he who was quirkless, he who had started in last.

As for momnight, there are also only a couple, and im also not caught up with these either. i have a little bit more of an excuse with these, as Indefinite by OwlF45 is really REALLY long, as well as intense. Worth the read though! I just gotta catch up! So much mindblowing stuff in that, and the Momnight is really sweet.

It comes with the package deal of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Midoriya gets another chance at life, but he must throw it away when that dreaded day comes. After all, a life for nineteen is more than a fair trade.

Or: the world will rise or fall, and it depends on one boy protecting Class 1-A to prevent the inevitable.

The other Momnight one I have is A Single Reason by TheDeepSeaWitch. Also really good, but really intense and I’ve had to take a break because I was getting a bit depressed, whoops. But I liked it!

Training begins the next day, and doesn’t stop for any reason. They wait for heroes, then for police, then for anyone to save them, but nobody comes.

It’s only a month before Izuku forgets their names. It’s a year before he forgets his own.

It’s only a chance meeting with an impassioned soul eight long, painful years later that saves them.

---------------------------------

They thought they were lost forever, that there was no future out there for them with their scars so visible and the blood on their hands still pungent and red. But if they have the strength to try, then perhaps, one day, they may yet find their forgiveness, and rediscover themselves along the way.

The Reforming Villains AU nobody asked for.

For Dadzawa:

Flare Signal by achievingelsium, of course! Annie writes some of my absolute fav dadzawa content, so definitely check it out!!

AU. Midoriya Izuku shouldn't be surprised he ended up like this: hiding the secret of One for All from his own father, the notorious villain Dragon. The path to being a hero is a hard one.

Or; Izuku is an aspiring hero forced to work for his father’s villain organization. Then he runs into All Might.

Izuku Ya’broker by Dreamillusions, is a fic i loved a LOT.

Perhaps you should actually listen to the news every once in a while, so you wouldn't end up in these kinds of situations. What kinds of situations? Glad you asked. Look at Izuku, for example. You would think Izuku would be at home after school, safe and sound from anyone attempting to, you know, kill him. But no, Izuku decided to roam around. Because of a bet. This is the kind of a situation you shouldn't end up in. Don't be Izuku.

Butterfly by aconstantstateofbladerunner, is rightfully popular! It has some horror/suspense themes though, so if thats not your style, try one of Blade’s other fics!! She’s a seriously good writer.

The first over-night trip off campus since the training camp was supposed to be a fun break from more intense work back home.  But between a bleak introduction to chaos theory, a chilly reception from the locals, and the looming threat of a villain attack, Izuku has too much on his mind to properly enjoy the fresh air.  But those worries are a light breeze compared to the hurricane that accompanies what he finds on the outskirts of town.

Or rather, what finds him.

A House Divided Against Itself by BeyondTheClouds777, another one of my fav fics by a great writer!

"Become a villain," they said.

“I’ll be a villain,” he said.

He lied. He’s only there so he can tear apart the League of Villains from the inside out.

The scars we carry by Banana_Ink is a great AU with plenty of Dadzawa

Aizawa rescued Izuku from the league of villains and takes care of the child for now. Izuku has two quirks in this AU, one natural - Forced Quirk Activation - and one that AFO 'gifted' him with - Self-Heal. He has a pretty big handprint-scar on his face and started as a problem child, scared and wary of people. But Aizawa managed to help him slowly heal.

This AU is just some silly little thing I came up in my freetime and like to add to it as I go, so I don't have a plan at all. Mostly I write for fun so I hope you might enjoy this as well :D

Ticked Off by Xenolis is a fic that I just want to rec all the time,,, for some reason...

~ ON HIATUS/OCCASIONAL UPDATES ~ Midoriya Izuku attracted trouble. It was just a fact of life – the sky was blue, the grass was green, and Izuku constantly found himself in an absurd number of deadly situations. He was okay with that. Mortal peril was an average Tuesday afternoon for a Pro Hero like him. Being kidnapped was practically a holiday. Saving civilians as a building collapsed around him was easier than facing his worried mum afterwards. He had dealt with All Might's disappointed dad stare and only cried for two hours afterwards. A serial killing villain with an unknown Quirk would be no problem! ..but even Izuku had to admit that being sent back in time to his first day at UA wasn't on the agenda. Still, there was no-one more spitefully determined than him – he was going to make the most of it. Yeah, good luck, heroes and villains alike! Deku was here to cause mischief and love his friends!

Toward A Bright Future by LazyRainDancer holds a special, soft place in my heart. I always want to go reread it after watching the show and I always want to rewatch the show after reading it. it never ends

You wake up at UA, the highest ranked hero school in the country, with no recollection of how you got there. Unfortunately, those aren't the only memories you're missing. Still, you can't let a little amnesia get in the way of you warning the school about the attack you know will happen during Class 1-A's field trip to the USJ. After you deliver your warning, you're beyond shocked when the principal offers you a position as a TA for Class 1-A. You accept the position in hopes that you'll be able to use your Quirk to help protect the students. It'll be far from easy, but you're determined to do whatever it takes to change the students' future for the better.

The rest don’t really have Dadzawa? But theyre really good so I had to rec them anyway

once forgotten, twice removed by blueh, good writer for multiple fandoms

“Yes,” All for One agreed. “This will be the final resting place of All Might.” “You,” Midoriya Izuku said and paused, thinking over the words. He sounded taken aback. “You want me to help fight All Might.” “Of course,” All for One nodded along. “I can offer you double of whatever my counterpart is paying you currently, along with anything your little heart could desire. Of course, you would get to help out drastically—" “Did you happen to check what world you were pulling me out of when you did this?” Midoriya Izuku interrupted and it was said in such an incredulous tone that had the situation not been as critical as it was, All Might would have laughed. Also known as: number one hero Deku has been through a lot of things, but being thrust into an alternate reality where he’s All for One’s Successor is a first.  He has to navigate this world when his alternate self is a villain dead-set on killing him and all of this version of class 1-A. All the while, his friends search desperately for a way to get him back.

Office Space by Caelismylife quirkless izuku gets a job at UA analyzing quirks, HECK YES

It took a little time, but he eventually found himself with a job at UA. The revolving door of heroes was not in the contract.

To Repair with Gold by TitleUnwanted FEEEEELS

AU. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, biggest lie in the world. Tattoos, which appeared when quirks did, are when a person feels an impact on something they are told and it becomes inked on their body, the closer they show to your heart the deeper the impact it has on the person.

For Izuku this is a blessing and a curse.

An Accident at Workstudy by Galactic_Jax been enjoying this one!

Izuku is working hard to prove himself at his work study, but it's hard when Sir Nighteye has made it clear he's not wanted. But what happens when Izuku is caught in a villain attack on his way to the agency? Will a few revelations about his most recent intern's past be enough for Sir Nighteye to change his mind about All Might's successor?

Nice to Meet You? by Allwalkfree didn’t know i needed this until i read it           

Kirishima introduces Bakugou to his favorite senpai. In which over several encounters Bakugou and Amajiki learn to become tentative friends.

A Study in Firsts by Oceanbreeze7 dorm shenanigans AND feels

There’s a first time for everything. The first time everyone crammed in Momo’s room to study, a mess of limbs and books on her bed. The first time Mina burned crepes so badly the smoke alarm went off. The first time a jumpscare got Sero so badly, he flipped off the back of the couch. The first time Uraraka fell asleep at the table and accidentally sent it floating. The first time someone realized Todoroki walked far too quietly, and far too cautiously around the dorms to be normal. The first time Midoriya broke his toe on a door frame and kept walking through it. The first time Kirishima woke up screaming through the walls. The first time Tsuyu blanched at the sight of a needle. The first time Bakugo dropped, clutching the back of his neck with eyes scarily vacant and detonating everything around him until Aizawa had to intervene. It wasn’t always pretty, but the dorms were filled with firsts.

Hero Class Civil Warfare by Roguedruid extremely satisfying to read

Heroes lead by Bakugo. Villains lead by Midoriya. Seven days prep time. Three days for Izuku Midoriya to show why they should be glad he's not a real villain.

A Fleeting Smile by AnonymousTwit good bakugou content

Or a collection of fifteen Bakusquad one shots where someone outside of the Bakusquad catches a rare glimpse of a friendlier side of Bakugou Katsuki, and one time that is specifically reserved for the four people that he hates the least.

Hope this gives you something to work with!!! I have more(and am always adding) in my bookmarks on AO3, but this should be a good start! Hopefully you’ll find at least one that you love! have a great day!!!! -Ani <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[pheacas]

16, 17, and maybe 24 for DEH?

16. Best movie musical?

I don’t really know if I’m supposed to be referring to stage musical adaptations or not so I might as well just give one of both.

Once is my favorite overall, which started as a movie and then was transferred to the stage a few years later as a Tony crusher on Broadway. It’s a very calm, serene experience that always gets me. There’s never any real big story going on. It’s just a vacuum cleaner in Dublin attempting to make it as a musician and a Czech immigrant just trying to survive.

Little Shop of Horrors is my favorite movie adaptation (if we consider the original ending and not the theatre ending). That’s not say much, because LSOH is one of my favorite musicals already, but unlike something like Rent (which is a musical higher up on my list), I feel that the LSOH movie gets exactly what the show is going for. It’s weird, it’s quirky, and it’s wonderful. Plus, that puppet is wow.

17. Worst movie musical?

Here’s the thing I don’t watch a lot of movie musicals that I know I wouldn’t like, but I guess if I was forced to name one, it’d be Rent? That can be taken weirdly because yes, I listen to the cast album all the time on Spotify (because I’m forced to they don’t give us the OBC), and there’s certain things I do enjoy about the movie, but it sucks all of the charm from the musical and makes it feel much more corporate.

The spoken dialogue always feels unnatural and unnerving, they take away major plot points and songs for... No real reason (like I understand taking out Contact even though it’s pretty important, but I literally don’t understand taking away anything that gives Mark, Joanne, or Collins character and while still keeping in all of Over the Moon (and I love Santa Fe but like... That could’ve been taken out for more important songs too like Goodbye Love B and even Halloween because we still get more Collins development than Mark (and Halloween is literally only a minute and a half and they filmed it why not just shove it in))).

I mean again I’m such a Renthead if there’s nothing else Rent I’ll definitely take it but ugh I’d rather even watch Rent Live as much as I’ve made fun of it because at least the life is there and at least they didn’t take out important bits and they actually had some really good additions, especially in the Mark department (and I’ll take Jordan Fisher over Anthony Rapp tbh).

24. You’re now the script doctor for [Dear Evan Hansen]. what do you change?

Oh God there’s a lot I would change, but I really can’t say everything, so I’m going to focus on the ending of the Jared and Alana archs.

So, in one of the earlier concepts, Jared was the one who released the letter out of spite. I think that’s much better than Alana doing it randomly and destroying her character arch of caring for people as she sees Evan sobbing to take it down and people automatically attacking the Murphy family.

We set it up early on; Evan actually sends Jared the letter to show Jared what he’s talking about, but Jared never actually reads it, kind of just doing his usually routine of being a dick. Then I’m not going to get into many of my smaller changes but maybe even just a line or two before Evan walks into the scene right after Only Us with Jared and Alana talking about the emails, and Jared giving Alana doubt in it (because definitely what’s already going on, because the backdating emails thing is like? Exactly what Jared said?).

Good For You happens, and then after that, instead of the scene with Evan giving Alana the letter, Jared posts the letter to the internet because he feels that’s the only way he can get back at Evan after their falling out without straight up saying “Evan lied and here’s why”, because it’s the closest thing he can really get he feels before actually saying the truth.

So like yeah Evan is absolutely freaking out and desperately calling Jared because he knows Jared did it and he goes to Alana in a panic, and she’s so confused as well because it was released under Evan’s name, and Evan eventually reveals the whole truth to her, even bringing up Jared in it, and she’s disgusted. Like she just stares at him for a couple of moments, trying to process all of what Evan has said, and then she tries to walk out, but Evan rushes to grasp her wrist to get her to stay, which horrifies her even more and she rushes to pull out of it. Again, there’s another pause while Alana collects herself, and then she eventually decides to give him a little rant in how fucked up it was that he dragged her through all of this, and how rancid it is that he dragged the Murphys through this and used a lie on their dead son for his own benefit, and she forces him to go and speak to the Murphys.

I think at the epilogue, before we see Zoe, we get a scene with Jared, a bit more akin to the book (which is a horrid statement I’ll never reference the book again). It’s not at the orchard, and I’d say maybe quite a few months after? We’re skipping around wowsies but maybe to show the change they can be back in summer clothes and its the summer before college. It’s probably like... Evan’s graduation party and they’re just huddled in the back with awkward red solo cups in hand and the first thing that slips out of Evan’s mouth is a “fuck you” for releasing the letter, and Jared’s face is quick to drop, and this is the first time we really see him show real emotion other than Good For You. He admits he never read the letter before even posting it, and he just wanted to give Evan a little scare before it turned into... That, and he tells him that he regrets even posting it because if he knew what it had actually said, he would have never released it. When he actually read it, he admitted he felt sick, and he wondered if Evan had always felt that way whenever Jared was pushing him around and Evan admits that yes, those thoughts were there and they really hadn’t completely gone away. There’s a bit of awkward tension on both sides, and it ends with Jared again apologizing, saying he just didn’t know and if he did he wouldn’t have ever treated Evan like that. Evan loosely accepts the apology, but he asks why Jared treated him that way, and Jared doesn’t really have an answer. Eventually, after a couple more moments of staring into those sad cups and Jared admits he kinda had a thing for Evan and just never wanted to really... Tell him because he knew he’d be rejected and Evan is just like “oh” and doesn’t know how to process it. Again, more awkward pauses, and eventually it ends with Heidi calling for Evan, but before he leaves he again awkwardly glances to Jared and they both apologize to each other, hug, and Evan runs off, leaving Jared to just stand there awkwardly alone as he transitions with the little set away and the scene changes to the orchard.

#dear evan hansen #deh #jared kleinman #alana beck #evan hansen #sincerelymlb

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 413

I’ve been singing Jefferson’s “The emperor has no clothes.” line from Washington on Your Side all day. Because honestly, that’s basically how I feel about Outlander at this point. Obviously every season when the press tour rolls around the cast and crew are going to talk about how it’s their best season yet and yada yada talking point bullshit. And in the segments after each episode they’re obviously going to pat themselves on the back for being so fucking brilliant. But I have to ask, are they delusional and believe what they’re saying? Or are they self-aware enough to realize that they’ve been putting out a worse and worse product every year but they’re contractually obligated to only say good things about the show? (I’m not stupid, I know that regardless of what they really think about the show they’re putting out, they’re never actually going to say it’s not good. That’s not how this works.) Some, like Balfe, I think are aware that the show isn’t what it used to be. And some, like Matt and Toni, I really think believe they’re doing a good job.

But as long as they keep spouting off the same nonsense about how everything is awesome, a certain segment of the fandom will keep agreeing that the emperor’s new clothes are indeed amazing, while I’m just over here like uh, y’all realize he’s nekkid, right?

Anywho, I’m really looking forward to a very long hiatus.

As much as I tend to not like the title cards anymore, this one included, Otter Tooth being like oh fuck this white kid in his racist costume is valid af.

I do appreciate that they show the Mohawk playing lacrosse in this episode and in 4x12. Because as much as it’s associated with prep school white boys today, it was invented and played by Native American and First Nations tribes, including the Mohawk.

(I signed up to play lacrosse in high school thinking that girls’ lacrosse was like boys’ lacrosse, but it’s not. You can’t check or anything. Lame.)

These fuckers are really bad negotiators. Like hey, we *really* want this guy. Like we’re desperate to get this guy. We didn’t just give you the upper-est of upper hands in this negotiation. Nope.

Tehwahsehwke brushing off the stuff they brought to trade with as just trinkets for Roger gives me life.

Has Claire been wearing this stone all season? You’d think they would have shown her wearing it more or something. But why would they do that when it can just pop up again out of nowhere.

Also, like, why the fuck would you wear a stone you found by the skull you think belongs to a Native American ghost dude who was hatchet’ed in the back of the head to a Native American village. Like, sure she doesn’t know the connection yet, but like, seems like something you’d maybe want to leave at home.

Also who the fuck are you guys, Frasers, refusing to leave someone else’s village when asked? You’re in no position to make demands. I know you want Roger back for some reason that I will never understand, because he’s the worst (only partly being sarcastic), but you’re the fuckers who sold him away so... Just leave and come up with Plan B, don’t make everyone hate you on the way out.

Oh the irony that the racist af term is “Indian giver” when it’s the white folks who go back on their deals...

Murtz being indignant about Bree and Lord John’s engagement makes me mad all over again that we were robbed over his reaction to Jamie marrying Laoghaire.

They’re like really leaning into the benevolent slave owner bullshit, and it’s gross, tbh. Like Bree’s just totally chill being waited on by an enslaved person. This show is killing meee.

Claire making demands and Wahkatiiosta being like “bitch, please” gives me life. Like Claire, you fucking idiot, you’re really not in a position to make demands right now.

Otter Tooth really is a tragic figure. I’d say it’s weird to spend this much time on someone that’s already dead (Just to set up Donner? I’m assuming that’s why they’re doing it?), but honestly, giving the Mohawk something to do that’s not about white people is fine with me.

Really Claire, you have all these opinions about ghosts? Since when?

(Since eventually they need to explain Jamie’s ghost. So why weave in ghost-related mythology organically when you can randomly shoehorn it in with a line that makes everyone scratch their head.)

“Not one of my finer moments.” Understatement of the season, Bree. Seriously, wtaf. And putting in this meta line doesn’t make it better.

“Da told me I should forgive him.” I hate that she was doing things because someone told her she should instead of because she wanted to. Because, again, Bonnet doesn’t deserve forgiveness. Part of forgiving someone, imo, is that they need to be sorry for the thing that needs forgiving. And Bonnet is not. So fuck that guy, he shouldn’t be forgiven.

“I already have.” In this instance, Jamie at least admitted he fucked up and is trying to fix it, but that’s like the first time something like that has happened. And honestly, I’m looking forward to him continuing to try to be worthy of this forgiveness she’s granting him. Because if next season starts with them just being buddy buddy, I’m gonna roll my eyes a lot.

Uh, why *would* this Mohawk dude let you escape with Roger. He owes these white people nothing. Why on earth wouldn’t he raise the alarm. He’s not the bad guy here.

Oh good god it’s not even half over yet.

I should be feeling things about Jamie and Claire possibly being separated again, but the show has managed to make them so meh this season that I really can’t be bothered to give a fuck, tbh.

Also, like, we’ve seen them say goodbye like it might be forever so many times already that like it’s kind of losing its meaning if we don’t also see them being *together* like they’re on borrowed time. Which we haven’t this season.

I miss caring about Claire and Jamie. Make me care about them again, show. This season was supposed to be them building a life together and enjoying finally being married and settled and knowing that every minute together is precious because it’s one they never thought they’d have. And somehow the show instead made them secondary characters in their own story to the point where this moment isn’t even evoking a reaction from me.

Young Ian really hasn’t had much to do all season, but what he has been given has been good and I love him a lot. And major props to him for being like yeah, I fucked up, I’m owning it, I’m gonna apologize and I’m gonna be the one to stay. Take note, literally every other dude in this show, be more like Young Ian.

Although, man, as much as I love the growth Young Ian goes through in the books, it’s gonna be so... problematic, to put it lightly, to have a white kid cosplaying as a Mohawk for the rest of the series when we’ve never had a fully developed Mohawk character.

Murtagh’s whole speech to Jocasta can directly translated to our current trash fire of an administration not being able to grasp what the federal employees they furloughed were going through during the shutdown. But this isn’t a political show. Nope.

Yes, I know that this was all written and shot months ago. But discussing privilege and and using your privilege for good is also political.

Murtagh’s pretty chill about Jocasta owning people for someone who was indentured for years.

As great as Murcasta is as a ship name, I don’t ship it. I’m here for them being inappropriate fuckbuddies, but she’s a fucking slave owner and he’s a Regulator. So hard pass on going full Duncan Innes here.

Also it’s cute that the producers were like this is a brand new idea because in the books, Murtagh’s dead! It’s like guys, you don’t get originality points for giving a canon book plot line to a different character.

Also I swear to fuck, they’d better not do the Jocasta is secretly having a relationship with Ulysses. Because not only is that fucked up on its own, but now if she’s banging Murtz, it makes her even more garbage, because not only does she enslave people, and bangs someone she technically owns, but she’s also a cheater.

Also, is Jocasta only against sex outside of marriage for women who have never been married before? (And I specify women since Murtagh has never been married and she’s not giving him any shit...) Or is she only against it if it results in a pregnancy?

“Jenny will be totally cool with this. Yup. Jenny will totally get it and be absolutely fine with this whole situation.” Are you fucking kidding me?

Jamie deserves all of these punches, but Roger remains the worst.

The difference between Young Ian running the gauntlet and Roger running the gauntlet is striking. Young Ian knows that this is his one chance to prove himself to the Mohawk and he is not throwing away his shot.

Young Ian smiling when the Mohawk accept him is like the only thing in this episode that makes me feel things. Because like this kid is the youngest of a whole squad of siblings and has always been the awkward one who gets into shenanigans accidentally, so like it’s really nice to see him being accepted into a group on his own merits.

“Because she said terrible things and turned ye against me.” Weird way to say “because she told you the truth about how awful I am and made you realize that I am, in fact, the actual worst,” Roger.

He’s never going to apologize, is he. Of course not.

“How could you think such a thing?” “Well, you see, my daughter apparently doesn’t care enough about you to tell me anything about who you are. And you’re enough of a dick that her servant thought you were a rapist. Because, you *are* a dick. And I’m enough of an asshat that I sell into slavery first and never ask questions later because lol toxic masculinity is grand.”

“I left because she told me to go. She actually told me not to come in the first place. And I was an asshole to her in our own time. And then I was an asshole again to her in this time. And really I should just fuck all the way off because I’m the worst and she deserves better and has made it clear that she isn’t down for how I’m treating her. But nope. Why do that when we can forget she ever had any issues with me so I can play the victim card forever and then get welcomed back into her life no problem.”

“But even then, I came back for her. Even though, again, she made it clear she didn’t want me.”

I hate Roger so much. He is literally more worked up over the fact that it was fucking Bonnet who raped Bree and how Bonnet made him sail to Philly than he is about Bree being raped. What the actual fuck, bro.

“Somewhere between here and Fraser’s Ridge. You know, casually somewhere on the eastern seaboard. Really narrows it down.”

“I don’t think you can go through with a child.” They keep saying that but like they have no proof of it? Are they really just saying it so much to set up them doing just that in season six?

In this instant, Frank 2.0 is worse than the OG twatwaffle. Don’t worry, Frank is still the actual worst. He’s an emotionally abusive fuckwad and I hate him with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. But Roger here isn’t dealing with someone who left and fell in love with someone else and is having the child of the love of her life. He’s dealing with someone who was violently raped and is choosing to keep the child and love it on its own merits. And he’s fucking hesitating about whether or not he can live with that?! Are you fucking kidding me? Go fuck yourself, Roger. And then fuck all the way off. Because Bree already deserves better, but the fact that you need to fucking think about it, like she’s somehow not worthy of your love because of what she went through, is fucking irredeemable. 

I. Hate. Roger.

ALSO! Can we fucking talk for a second about how they’re making Bree’s rape and pregnancy about fucking Roger? Not omg is she ok, not omg how is she coping, not omg is she getting the care and support she needs. No, none of that. Instead we get fucking “are you, a man, ok with this.”

But since we’re apparently making this all about good ol’ Rog. He literally two fucking minutes ago called Bree his wife. Like in sickness and health, richer or poorer, no matter fucking what, married. I know he didn’t fucking think he was going to stay in the past forever or to become a parent in this way, but guess what? LIFE IS FUCKING FULL OF SURPRISES. SHIT DOESN’T ALWAYS GO ACCORDING TO PLAN. YOU WANT TO SAY YOU’RE MARRIED TO BREE? THEN NUT UP OR SHUT UP, MISTER “I WANT ALL OF YOU.”

I HATE THIS FUCKING SHOW SO MUCH.

“And we will choose his birthday wisely, but ye can be sure the lad was born in wedlock.” Oh fuck off, Jocasta.

Thank fuck this season is over because the are they/aren’t they married whiplash about the handfasting is annoying af. Literally one scene ago Roger was saying she’s his wife and now they’re lying about birthdays because she’s not married.

Ok this is shallow but did they decide that Sophie could wear makeup this season and Caitriona could only have the bare minimum to try to make the age gap seem bigger? Because honestly, the difference in their faces is quite noticeable. 

Unpopular opinion alert, but I’m totally fine with Claire and Jamie not being there for the baby’s birth. I mean, I’m kind of sad Claire wasn’t there. But she can be there for the next one. But like, Jamie hasn’t earned being with Bree in such a personal moment. Their relationship isn’t at that level.

“We told him everything. But since he’s the worst and loves the *idea* of you and not *you*, the truth was too much for his imaginary version of your relationship so he bounced. Like an asshole.”

We’re gonna be stuck with Bonnet for two more seasons, aren’t we. Ugh. They could have just killed him and been done with it, because honestly he’s not interesting enough to keep around, but the more they keep talking about how he died in the prison, the more it’s basically guaranteed that he’s going to show back up...

I’m glad Claire and Bree get a moment alone, tbh. But Bree will be “surrounded by family” at the Ridge? Really? Because pretty sure it’ll just be you and Jamie now. Since Ian is gone. And Roger went AWOL. And who knows where Murtz is gonna go...

They really love using no dialogue dinners instead of doing actual work on the characters’ relationships with each other this season, don’t they. Le sigh.

Cool that everyone is super down with Jocasta now. Because clearly ep. 4x02 didn’t happen.

Oh ffs. The literally did a running toward each other and meeting in the middle with a hug shot. Fucking kill me.

Ok, so Bree and Roger had a kind of flirty friendship that was basically just based around them both knowing about time travel. And then they sort of did the long distance relationship thing. And then Roger proposed in the most awful way possible, refused to listen to Bree’s very reasonable response, slut-shamed her for being ok with sex before marriage even though he himself had had sex before, was a dick to her when she tried to have another conversation with him, and then he followed her into the past when she expressly said not to and implied that she wasn’t planning to stay in the past permanently. Then we’re somehow expected to just accept that she’s over all of her reservations about marriage and Roger being the worst when she agrees to handfast with him, but then he’s the worst again and she rightly tells him to fuck off. And then he can’t decide if he can accept a woman he “loves” after she’s been raped?! And now we’re supposed to think that they belong together and should get the cheesiest, most cliché shot of all time? Are you fucking kidding me, show? How the fuck are we supposed to ship this?

Roger is the literal worst.

This isn’t earned at all and I hate it.

Also, wtf is up with this ending? Why not end it with Bree and Roger going back into the house?

Although, Claire’s face when Murcasta are forehead fucking is my everything.

Like there’s no reason to end on a cliffhanger that’s not even really a cliffhanger? Because like, we already know that Tryon was eventually going to call in this favor from Jamie? We’ve known this since they accepted the land grant? And like, the tension between Jamie and Murtagh over being a Regulator is already established and clearly Jamie isn’t going to actually kill Murtagh?

This is dumb. This show is bad. Thank fuck it’s Droughlander.

#* #outlander starz #outlander 4x13 #drunj!der yells about outlander #rogergate

[rkyooa]

damn, rookies.

okay children, here we go.

i’m putting this under a read more cause, well, this isn’t going to be completely positive, in fact it’ll probably be a good 50/50 positive and negative. we’ve been asked to write about rookies for this fifth year anniversary. it’s amazing that this rp has lasted so long and seems to be the only active, successful roleplay on tumblr to have any kind of significant longevity, so i feel it’s only right to be honest when writing this. rookies has done a lot for me, and this includes both positive and negative things. each person’s experience is different, some will have really great experiences and some will have really negative ones, some will fall on the spectrum in between. i’m definitely in between. i’m gonna do this in a ‘rookies has taught me blank’ kind of way, just so that i can keep a silver lining in the picture, even with the negative. if you relate, then great, let’s chat and bond over it. if not, i hope my experiences help you so you don’t have to go through any of the same hardships i have. 

here we go

rookies has taught me resilience. it’s the first thing that comes to mind, because as much as this community has some amazing people who are supportive and uplift others, there is some really toxic stuff that has happened within the walls of this roleplay. sometimes it’s out of our control, and bad stuff just happens, and that’s okay, so long as we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and move on. upon joining rookies, i had made yooa and hugo. hugo was a muse already conjured and in the works before he had officially joined, and he was in all honestly, made specifically for a friend’s muse here. yooa was plotted to have a long term ship from the get go as well, and both ships were integral parts of their muses. i lost both of them, nearly at once, and it quite literally took a chunk out of me. i never blamed the roleplayers for doing that, because i understood why they needed to leave. getting upset at them wouldn’t have changed anything either, so i just accepted it. i won’t say i didn’t suffer from it though, because i most certainly did. for a while i had no idea what to do with hugo. yooa, she had a bit of a purpose, because she wanted to be a model and an idol, but hugo especially was so hard to come back from on. failed ships or people leaving happened multiple times after that as well, but because of the initial loss of people i thought would never leave, the impact wasn’t nearly as bad, i was able to weather it and accept it, and move on ic. now i’m so understanding and don’t really get hurt when i lose ships or rp partners, i’m able to just be okay with it and look forward to the next ship or thread or endeavour. i’ve applied this to strictly ooc things as well. i’ve lost friends within rookies. people have stopped talking to me because of things that have happened concerning rookies. it sucks, i don’t like it, but i accept it. i’m becoming more and more thick skinned and level headed by the day. i can take blows and dish back kindness now, and i’m pretty proud of that. the only thing i’m still struggling with is the amount of netizen smack talk or belittling that suho got during the mgas. everyone loved to hate him, and while it’s just unofficial ic stuff, it did still get to me, hence why i stopped writing on my own netizen (and have since even deleted her account). the reason that specifically got to me is very unique to my situation. yooa and hugo got signed after what’s considered pretty long waits. there have been longer, obviously, but 8 and 6 months is still pretty long. they were both signed quietly as well, and haven’t had any special trainee projects or debut notices or anything like that, they’ve simply had their training as private trainees and that’s been it. i’ve never complained about that, because i get that others have been here longer than me, are more deserving of the spotlight, or sometimes that’s just how the cookie crumbles. i had a third muse before suho that was taking even longer to get anything. she had an audition with kt that failed, that’s about it, and i had had her for a pretty long time (rip rkyukji i miss you terribly but your true fc is dead and reubvleiwubds i just can’t play you cause of it otherwise you’d still be here kicking ass and taking names). now, she didn’t get scouted with chococon and i did complain about that, but in retrospect i realized her charisma was way too low to be street casted hence why i made suho with his insane charisma level and percentage.

CHARISMA IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SKILL, ROOKIES TAUGHT ME THIS, IT’S THE ONLY REASON SUHO WON AND IF YOUR MUSE HAS LOW CHARISMA YOU BETTER FIX THAT OR YOU’LL BE WAITING AGES AND AGES TO GET SCOUTED AND ONLY KT WILL TAKE YOU. LITERALLY LEARNED THAT ON YUKJI AFTER READING AN OLD POST ABOUT WHICH SKILLS EACH COMPANY SCOUTS. 

anyways, suho doing well on the mgas and winning was the very first time any of my muses had ever been in some kind of spotlight, really. for the first time ever i was genuinely being rewarded, and everyone was just shitting all over it. had yooa or hugo gotten something special i probably wouldn’t have cared that the netizens were always like ‘idk why suho is special, what’s with this junmyeon guy, he aint even talented, he’s not that good looking, etc.’ but because it was the first time something special was being done for me as a mun here, i took it to heart. it was like i wasn’t allowed to enjoy it, because someone else’s muse wasn’t the one in the spotlight. i still remember waiting up until 5am to see who the winner was, and when it came down to suho and haknyeon the tlist blew up with support and rooting for haknyeon, and then when suho was announced the winner? dead silence. i had never felt so hated within this roleplay before, and i felt the need to say sorry for him winning. bianca worked very hard to give all of us, and me, a very special experience, and all i could feel was remorse and regret by the end of it, which i’m sure wasn’t her intention. carly mentioned not understanding why i thought everyone hated suho - this is why. the moment one of my muses had some kind of attention or spotlight, people were mad, upset, whatever. it... really sucked. i feel really anxious and nervous whenever i mention his mga win in a thread now cause i’m worried i’m upsetting someone with it. i still have to work on this, but hopefully i become resilient to this too. i’m sure, if and when yooa or hugo becomes public or debuts, that the netizens will have things to say about them as well, and i just have to be prepared for it to be bad. people will be petty, they’ll be mean, it’s just how life is sometimes. all i can do is correct my own ways and try to build up a thick skin to it.

rookies has taught me dedication. a bitch has done her trainee replies and evals on all three muses every single week since each other has been signed. that’s right, i do fucking 6+ replies a week, every week. that’s sort of unheard of (except for kyle lol) and it’s shown me my unhealthy level of perfectionist tendencies i have, haha. my non-trainee threads have really fallen to the wayside, which sucks and i need to fix that, but after i’m done all of my trainee replies i’m just so tired. i’ll work on it, i promise, but a bitch is tired she does her replies every week cause she won’t be able to sleep if she misses an opportunity for an achievement she wants. i have goal pages set up on each muse that shows which achievements and what levels i want for them. i update them with my point pages every week, and boi there’s a LOT on there that i want to do. missing a week? it makes me panic because that’s another week on top of everything that i’ll need to get my muses where i want them. the fact that suho is so chillaxed about his training and debuting helps so much because my perfectionist ways reflect in yooa and she will literally murder me if i miss a week on her. i also started an rkresource thing (that i desperately need to update) and even though the mods probably have their own version of it i still kind of like seeing where everyone is at. i’ve got some competitiveness in my personality so part of me really wants to see my muses raise in rank in some areas. it kind of keeps me motivated? and i hope that it does for other people as well, haha. it’s not pinned to my twitter anymore but i think someone posted a link to it in the rkresource tag so! its the leaderboard doc. i also update my points every week cause i need to know where my muses are at, which apparently is also really rare? not even kyle does that lol but i know if i leave it i’ll get lost and mess up the tracking so it’s really just for my own sake of being bad with numbers. i lowkey add everything up now and then to make sure i’m on the right track. 

rookies has taught me how to keep muse. yooa is my longest running muse by far. not many know this, since i’ve been around nearly two years now, but i’m actually notorious for getting bored and losing interest in a muse. i’ve had a lot of muses in my time, more than 100, or even 200 at this point. they always sort of completed their story though, and i’d get so bored on them that i’d go inactive or drop them. these muses in rookies have goals, purposes, aims, and they don’t die. yooa is such a strong muse, as is hugo (suho is eh tbh but he’s there), and i know there’s still so much more for her to do and accomplish, so many paths to explore, and i deeply thank rookies for giving me a place where i can have two whole muses who refuse to die no matter what. that’s such a rarity for me, so thank you rookies. you’ve given me two very precious muses that i love with all my heart. no matter what happens ooc with other muns or even the mods, my love for these two muses keeps me from leaving and dropping, i could never do it.

rookies has taught me loving friendships. i have met some very special people here. they are few, honestly, but they are gems and i would never have known them without rookies. the person who has impacted me the most, honestly, is clara @rkwendy / @rkjohnny. this girl, i don’t think you guys realize how beautiful of a person she is. we aren’t best friends, but we’re close. clara has listened to me bitch, both about real life and things within rookies, even people she cares about, and she has not left my side or held anything against me. there are so few people in this world that could do that. she didn’t even push me to like anyone she liked, she let me realize my faults and errors on my own and she was supportive and proud when i realized them and voiced that to her. i try my best to be there for her as well, but i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to be there for her the way she has for me. i’ve got an extremely beautiful ship with her as well, that i hold near and dear to my heart, because as mentioned before i get bored easily, so doing slow burn ships has never been my forte, but wendy is just such a beautiful, layered, intriguing masterpiece of a muse that hugo and i fell completely in love and have been hooked ever since a year ago when the burn first started. it doesn’t matter how fast or slow the replies come, the muse is still there and strong for the ship and i am so thankful to her for being an amazing writing partner. another friendship that has impacted me, and i dont think she even knows or realizes this, is rose @rklisa / @rkyeri / @jinsoulrk. we started out really rocky, and we had some issues that were a good chunk my doing. literally, i came at her over the pettiest, stupidest thing (and i realized she was even right to begin with lol i was such a dumb ass), and then there were things ic that i was taking to heart ooc and it became an ooc issue. i didn’t really handle that well either. the reason i’m mentioning this is because it taught me to see my own faults and own up to them, and even try to change them. if i hadn’t been dumb, rose and i would’ve probably started getting along a loooooong time ago, cause the ironic thing is she and i like a lot of the same groups and share a lot of the same opinions both on irl groups and songs, and ic and ooc rookies things. i’m very excited to be among the new gen royal girls with her and to hopefully have our muses (WHO ARE FINALLY GETTING ALONG! YAY!) debut together one day. that’s obviously way off since luxe debuted this year, but eventually it’ll happen, and i look forward to the queens of sexy concepts yooa and lisa owning the stage together. i’m not mentioning many people because i don’t think there’s a need to. i’m just singling out people who have impacted me and taught me things (minus the mods, that’s sort of their job when muns go astray. thank you carly @taeminrk, lol, you taught me a valuable lesson too when i came at you over something i shouldn’t have and i still regret that to this day. i appreciate you forgiving me for that.) i will also mention ani @rkmiya / @rkmin / @rksohee / @rkchungha because she helped me through a really tough time when i was triggered (unintentionally) by someone in a group chat. we bonded a lot through that, and she’s been there to listen to me rant and complain ever since, haha. she also made me feel very welcome when hugo first joined nova, she hyped me so much and it meant the world to me because it made me feel like people were excited to have me around and to roleplay with me. i had heard horror stories about nova so i was really scared when i decided to have hugo sign. i was tweeting out ‘anything but nova’ during that whole thing but then he got nova and i wanted to cry, die, and pee myself at the same time. i ended up deciding to go for it (it’s only TWO YEARS LOL) and it ended up being the best decision ever. i started off on the right foot though and that’s all thanks to ani. i owe her big time for that. lastly, i’ll mention nic @rknahee / @rkjei / @rkobon. why, you ask? because she has restored my faith in people being trustworthy. especially recently, rookies was teaching me not to trust people. i’ve been very vocal about not being okay as of late, but people kept taking me for granted and just doing whatever they wanted and expecting me to still be there at the end of it no matter what they did. it’s been getting really tiresome and annoying, especially when those people get shocked and upset when i finally put my foot down and express my hurt. nic has taught me that there are people out there who genuinely care and will be there, and can be trusted. she’s gone through similar things to me with other muns, so maybe we’re both just jaded and tired and we can’t be bothered and that’s why we get along so well and trust each other so much. there are days where i wish i could take all of her pain and just put it on myself so she can smile and be happy and not worry about anything. she’s a genuine sweetheart and whoever comes for her will feel my wrath!!! i love her a lot, and always will <3 there are some people i’ve known since before rookies who are still my good friends now. lyn @rkxsnn / @rkavery (your damn urls i swear to god), jen @yujurk, and stef @rkohsehun, don’t think i forgot you guys. i love you to the moon and back. lyn is my ride or die, soulmate, best friend. jen is someone who reteaches me the value of not giving a shit all the time. stef is my fucking wIFE and i will mURDER for her. y’all are great, mwah, i love you <3

[[ amendment! i can’t believe i didn’t mention kyle @haseulrk / @seulgirk / @rksejeong. probs cause you’re a mod too and i was trying to stay away from that cause i don’t want to seem kiss ass LOL but you’ve been a wonderful friend that has taught me it’s okay to rely on people sometimes. i want you to know you can always rely on me too, whenever you need it. you’re a candle in the darkness, with you there will always be light <3 ]]

rookies taught me anxiety. aight, now here’s some of the nasty negative stuff i was talking about. rp in general has given me anxiety, something i never had or experienced before it. rookies festers it a lot, sometimes to an unhealthy point. i can’t help it, rookies is part of me now, i’ve invested so much time and effort into this place, so i can’t leave, even when the place is literally affecting my health. it sucks when i need an escape from all the bs happening in real life, and then i come here and it’s just more stress and hurt, and that’s when the anxiety rolls in cause then i no longer have a safe space. that’s just not the point of rookies, and i doubt the mods want that to be the case for anyone. it’s just tough when there are people i know i won’t ever get along with here, people i know who don’t like me for whatever reason (and still hold a grudge to this day even though they talk about how people shouldn’t hold grudges) or stuff like what happened with suho in the mgas happens, and i can’t do anything about it. mods can only do so much too. i kind of just expect people to not like me at this point? and i worry myself into a place where i feel like the whole world is against me. it’s super unhealthy, but honestly i don’t know how to fix it, it is what it is. it’s a part of me and my rookies experience, and it probably always will be, so like a lot of other stuff i just have to accept it. there are muns that i’m trying to get on better terms with and i hope i get good outcomes like i did with rose (she made the first step though i don’t take credit for that). for some of them, though, it’s very clear there’s just no reconciling, or their personality will just always clash with mine and there’s nothing to be done about it. all i can do is stay civil and keep striving for better outcomes. and i gotta remember to breathe. 

rookies has taught me clarity. i’m way better at seeing where i’m going wrong now. within the past year i notice that when i’m upset i’ll go and bitch in a safe space, or at least what i think is a safe space, but when that person i bitched about bitches about ME and it gets back to me i’m upset about it. kind of hypocritical, and i realized it. so i don’t hold grudges or confront or anything. everyone gets annoyed with people whether they’re close or not, and bitching about them sometimes doesn’t mean we hate them or they hate us. we just gotta VENT sometimes, you know? in retrospect i know i’ve come off as two-faced in some situations, but i’ve learned my personality really well and i know that if i want to tackle a situation with a level head and clarity, i need to blow off the steam out loud elsewhere first. i need to yell to someone who is impartial and won’t lecture me so i can get that off my chest, then go to the person in question and be calm when talking things out with them. in the moment clarity and level-headedness is slowly but surely starting to come as a result of this, and it’s mostly been situations in rookies that has taught me this. 

i keep rambling on and on, this post has been super huge haha, but i guess the main point i’m making is that rookies has taught me a lot of self growth. am i perfect? nope, and to paraphrase a recent conversation with my dear mother, i don’t want to be perfect, i have flaws and i like them, but i also am proud of the person i am becoming. if you hate me or dislike me, that’s perfectly fine, if you like me or love me, that’s fine too. if you’re indifferent, great! lol. rookies has taught me to accept all of it. it’s kind of sucky that rookies has taught me to just accept all the bullshit in life, but in a setting like this it’s hard to escape all of our flaws being concentrated and emphasized here. muses are a part of us and it gets pretty sensitive. having everything so concentrated and intense here, though, has taught me to be more resilient and accepting, and i get to apply that to real life. it’s also made me pessimistic, and to paraphrase a recent conversation with my asshole brother (who is super slytherin and waayyyy more optimistic than i am, and i’m a freaking gryffindor and pessimistic af, who is the real set of good guys rowling? i’m also a ravenclaw though so maybe that’s got something to do with it lol) that makes me dead wrong and i need to look into that, cause everyone inherently wants to do good. i wish i could see things like my brother lol but i’m jaded. one more thing to work on? maybe next year i’ll be more optimistic. if you’ve read all of this, holy hell go get a life friend, but thanks! let’s chat and plot sometime, because we all know rookies aint going anywhere~

sincerely, roe

@rkyooa / @rkhugo / @suhork

#rkfifth #;ooc #[[ this is so long dear lord #3844 words my god #thats the longest thing ive ever written i think #read at your own risk ]]

[machihunnicutt]

FICVEMBER DAY FIVE

Here’s part one of my very self indulgent les mis fic. (Chapter two will probably be next week sometime tbh.)

(Or read on ao3.)

How to Define a Sandwich

There was a line. Of course there was a line just when he’d worked up the courage to leave the mountain of books in his room for a coffee break...downstairs. Marius Pontmercy didn’t know he’d chosen the artsy dorm. He’d picked the most centrally located of the three housing options his scholarship provided. Marius didn’t believe in things like fate, but maybe it was. Maybe he was always destined to end up in places where he didn’t belong. Like in edgy, student-run coffee shops that were only open at night and had free refills for the weary eyed college kids who lived upstairs.

Marius had spent most of Welcome Week hiding from friendly but intimidating people down the hall and across the hall and in the room beside him (so, everyone.) He’d spent the first four weeks of classes taking aggressively detailed lecture notes in his panic handwriting and pretending to be better adjusted than he was when he Skyped Cosette. He hadn’t made any friends. He’d aced all his first exams but his insomnia was getting bad and sometimes he went full days without talking to anyone. So far college was quiet.

The Musain wasn’t quiet. The line stretched out the door and buzzed with laughter and conversation. He took a place at the back awkwardly and juggled the coffee mug in his hands. He’d been told he would get a discount if he brought his own.

“Look, I see where you’re coming from, but if you turn a hot dog on its side how is it different from any other meat sandwich? You have a top and bottom piece of bread with a filling. Those are the basic components of a sandwich.”

The girl in line in front of him shook her head aggressively, mussing the already messy bangs that covered most of her forehead. The line inched forward and the guy making the hot dog argument punctuated his sentence with a wave of his mug. It had a science olympiad logo on it.

“Holy shit Ferre, it is in no way that simple. A hot dog bun is one piece of bread--connected, unified, you get where I’m going here right? A sandwich has a distinct top and bottom layer and…”

“Layer, Eponine why are you…?”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to include a hot dog but exclude an ice cream sandwich because it doesn’t have bread? You need to open your mind a little, pal.”

“Don’t passive aggressively pal me, just because it has sandwich in the name doesn’t mean it’s intrinsically a sandwich,” The guy said calmly, pushing his glasses back up his nose. “What does Enjolras always say? We must question the powers that be. I’m not going to change my definition of a sandwich because the man tells me something.”

“Don’t give me that shit in the same breath as your hot dog argument. You probably put dijon mustard on your bougie ass hot dog sandwich,” she shot back, but she was grinning. “What do you think?”

Marius blinked. She had turned to look at him and was waiting expectantly, eyes more intense with winged liner and a brilliant red eyeshadow.

“Me?” He said dumbly, regretting every step down the stairs from the fourth floor it took to get to the end of this line.

“Yeah, you. Where do you draw the proverbial sandwich line?”

“Don’t feel compelled to take her side just because she’s confrontational,” the guy cut in.

“I...uh, haven’t given it much thought,” Marius spluttered, feeling his face go pink.

The girl’s gaze softened and her dark brows furrowed together. “Understandable, understandable. We won’t interrogate you.”

“But we would appreciate your thoughts once you’ve gathered them,” the guy said good naturedly. “I’m Combeferre.” He stuck out his hand and Marius tried not to be self-conscious about his sweaty palms when he took it.

“Marius,” Marius replied.

“I’m Eponine and I greet with fist bumps not handshakes.” She extended a fist and Marius cautiously returned a fist bump.

The line inched forward again and now Marius was in the doorway. A gentle hum of something indie with soft vocals mixed with the muddled conversation, loud screeching of the machine that steamed the milk, and the enthusiastic greetings of the dark haired barista who was...distracting. The nervousness that had thus far kept Marius’ hands clenched so tightly on his coffee mug that he thought he might break it now made his shoulders tighten and teeth bite the inside of his mouth.

“Oh shit!” Eponine leaned out from behind Marius and grinned. “Courf’s working. I forgot!”

The barista, Courf evidently, looked up when he heard his name and for a second after he waved to Eponine made eye contact with Marius, just a quick, friendly sort of glance like maybe he thought Marius and Eponine were friends, making them mutual friends (which made Marius worry that he was somehow lying to this beautiful stranger who was now stirring a hot chocolate at a harried pace, making conversation as he went and reaching over to open the fridge door and grab whipped cream.)

“That’s our friend Courfeyrac,” Combeferre said, because apparently he’d been adopted by the fascinating sandwich arguers after five minutes in line. He felt lightheaded and like he should’ve just stayed in his room and tried to Skype Cosette again but also like he was on the precipice of something important and since this was the only social interaction he’d likely have all week (it was Thursday) he nodded, and repeated the name.

“Courfeyrac,” Marius Pontmercy said. And then they were at the front of the line.

“Dude, you owe me a playlist,” Eponine said, thrusting her coffee mug across the counter. “The usual.”

“I know, I know,” the barista said, snatching up the mug and tossing it between his hands. He looked even more animated up close and fumbled around the extensive collection of syrups along the back wall of the cafe as he spoke. “I’m almost done and then I’ll send it your way. To be fair, ‘Songs to Annoy My Shithead Parents that Won’t Corrupt Gav More than He Already has been’ is a challenging and specific request Ep. Also, vegan chai?

“Eponine is an occasional vegan,” Combeferre said, clarifying once more for Marius’ benefit. He nodded and the barista’s attention turned to him.

“I don’t think we’ve met,” he said, grinning. He slicked some hair out of his face and extended a hand across the counter, which Marius took after painfully detaching his hand from its death grip around the mug. “Courfeyrac.”

“Marius.”

“We met Marius five minutes ago. Riddle me this: is a hot dog a sandwich if you turn it sideways?

“Absolutely not,” Courfeyrac said without missing a beat.

“Thank you! Finally someone I can trust.”

“It’s nice to meet you Marius. Do you know what you’d like?”

Your friendship, immediately, Marius thought but didn’t say. “Um...what I’d...I don’t know. He looked desperately to the menu board but it was too long and he was acutely aware that he was being watched and suddenly the question seemed much too big to answer.

“May I interest you in something from the specials selection?” Courfeyrac asked, gesturing to the messy handwriting on the chalkboard to his right. Marius blinked at it:

Songs that would be greatly improved by a banjo solo

(a specials board by Couf)

Wonderwall by Oasis

Earl grey tea with steamed milk - $1.50

All Star by Smash Mouth

Random soda, random shot - $0.75

Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler

Hot chocolate with tiramisu syrup - $2.00

Baby by Justin Bieber

Vanilla milkshake with cheesecake syrup - $2.50

In the Hall of the Mountain King by Grieg

Affogato with caramel - $2.25

“I’m a firm believer that everything is improved by the banjo,” Courfeyrac said seriously.

“Um...Wonderwall then please.” Marius said.

“For here or to go?”

Eponine laughed. “He brought his mug Courf, you don’t need to ask.”

Marius glanced at the stack of paper to go cups and stiffened. He had planned to retreat discreetly to his room, coffee mug be damned.

“Maybe I’m just curious as to whether or not I’ll be enjoying Marius’ company any longer.”

“Touche,” Eponine said, leaning her elbows on the counter and accepting the latte Courfeyrac had finished. “You can sit with us if you want Marius,” she finished.

“Unless he has to go,” Combeferre put in helpfully.

They looked at him and Marius looked at them. He looked at the witty, significantly cooler than him people who’d offered him more friendly energy in the past 5 minutes than anyone else on campus had all semester. He looked at the languid line of talking, laughing, casually happy people behind them. He looked at the ridiculous specials board and multicolored string lights on the deep purple walls and nodded vigorously.

“For here, here would be great.”

***

The thing about college was that there was too much to do. Courfeyrac had only been campus a month and he already had a endless laundry list of things to accomplish. He’d swiped an application from the Musain the second time he’d come in, and they were desperate enough to hire an overly enthusiastic freshman for his first semester. There were a few weeks of spilling drinks and stumbling over orders. There were a few weeks where he wasn’t completely comfortable in his skin, where his smile felt too stiff and his classes felt too long. But then he figured it out. He learned how to make lattes without burning himself or dropping things. He joined the ultimate frisbee team. He joined Enjolras’ club again.

“Who’s that?” Enjolras asked, putting his mug on the counter for a refill. He looked tired. He was wearing his all nighter headband and spare glasses.“With Combeferre and Eponine,” he clarified, when Courf just stared at him.

“That’s Marius, they’ve adopted him. Are you okay? You look kind of…”

Enjolras rolled his eyes. “Kind of what, Courf?”

“Exhausted. The semester just started, how do you already look like that?”

“Well aren’t you supportive?” Enjolras scowled at him before taking a sip of his refilled black coffee. At least it wasn’t an espresso kind of night. “I’m finishing up my project about my summer service learning. We give our presentations next week. It wouldn’t be a lot if I wasn’t already taking too many credit hours and working on ABC stuff.”

“Stuff?” Courf replied, eyebrow quirking up. Enjolras was typically more verbose about the goings on of the ABC, often excessively so.

“The anti-rape culture rally, the fundraiser for the ACLU, Eponine’s crisis hotline volunteer group, your very important suggestion that we partner with the campus environmental club on their greener campus initiative. It’s a lot of stuff, Courf, and I want to be done with the summer so I can properly devote my time to all of the fall’s stuff .”

“Right,” Courfeyrac said slowly. Enjolras had spent the summer in Cape Town working with a human rights advocacy organization to promote health education and citizen empowerment. He’d been gone for 2 months, which would’ve been fine if he’d straightened everything out at home before he left. But he was Enjolras, so he hadn’t. “Have you seen R today?”

Enjolras gritted his teeth. “I haven’t seen him since the meeting. He doesn’t hang around the Musain as much now that he has a boyfriend.”

Courf frowned. He thought Grantaire’s absences during his shifts had more to do with Enjolras’ lurking by the counter or in his no nonsense study corner than R’s boyfriend of 3 weeks now. They didn’t talk much about what happened the week before Enjolras left for South Africa. The short version, Jehan had informed him, was that Enjolras and R had kissed at their Medieval poetry themed end of the year party. (Jehan was still salty that the majority of their invitees hadn’t respected the theme.) Courf hadn’t been told who kissed who (there were varying accounts), how much alcohol was involved (given Grantaire as a person and Jehan’s party menu), or what conversation (if any) followed, but Enjolras didn’t call or send R any postcards over the summer, and when school started up they didn’t talk about it and R showed up to the first amis meeting with Pierre, the new boyfriend.

It was a little jarring, given how long R had been interested in Enjolras and only Enjolras, and the look on Enjolras’ face when R introduced him. (Bossuet had compared this look to Joly’s when Bossuet had shown him the t-shirt he’d salvaged after he’d dropped it, sopping wet from the washer, behind the dorm laundry machines and forgotten about until the next time he did his laundry and fished it out with a yardstick.)

“Don’t stay up too late, alright? Knowing you, your presentation’s going to go just fine,” Courfeyrac said, glancing down at his watch. It was 11:30; he had a half an hour before closing.

“You’re the freshman, I should be the one lecturing you,” Enjolras said, but he was smiling, just a little, in the way that wasn’t fake. He retreated back to his table with his half empty coffee cup.

Courfeyrac had known Enjolras, Combeferre, R, and Eponine since middle school. He was a year behind them, but they were united by Enjolras’ social justice and advocacy club The Friends of the ABC. Enjolras had taken the amis with him to college, quickly establishing himself as the leader of the university’s most active, if not largest, advocacy organization.

He loved the friends he’d made through the ABC and he loved that at college they were tackling bigger issues and rallying more people. People, perhaps, like Combeferre and Eponine’s adoptee. Courfeyrac turned his attention to the skittish looking Marius who was seated between his friends.

“What’s your major?” Eponine asked him, as Marius sipped his tea nervously.

“History,” he replied. “I’m...um, I’m interested in attending law school.”

“No kidding, you should meet our friend Bahorel. He’s on his way to law school too,” Combeferre said.

“If he doesn’t drop kick a political science professor first,” Eponine laughed.

Marius smiled. “And what about you two?” he asked. “Your majors, I mean.”

“Biology,” Combeferre said. “I want to be a doctor.” Ferre adjusted his glasses in the way that made him look studious and quick-witted, a move he’d perfected years ago. He had disclosed to Couf at a high school football game that it was his signature technique when trying to make a good impression (although back then he was trying to use it on the JV kicker, who he had a crush on.)

“And I’m in social work,” Eponine said.

“Really?” Marius brightened. “So is my friend Cosette. She doesn’t go here though. She’s at a small college three hours from here.”

“You two must be very close,” Eponine replied, and Marius looked momentarily panicked.

“What gave you that impression?”

Eponine leaned in closer. “You didn’t say the school or the town, just how long it would take to get there. And I’m good at listening.”

“Oh,” Marius said, he was turning a rosy shade of pink that made his freckles stand out further. “I mean, you’re right, I miss her quite a bit.”

“Did you say she was your girlfriend?” Courfeyrac blurted from the counter. He nearly dropped the mug he was drying as the three of them turned to look at him. Great, perfect, now he thinks you’re an eavesdropping creep .

“No, she’s just my friend,” Marius said, meeting his eyes for a moment.

In a lot of ways college was the way Courfeyrac had expected it to be. He’d been to a couple of parties in Bahorel’s basement where the lights were dim and every drink he was handed had too much vodka. He’d swayed, light-headed and distant as his friends and their friends danced and talked and laughed in high, joyous outbursts. But sometimes college felt like sensory overload. Sometimes he needed to catch his breath outside before the party swallowed him whole. Sometimes he showed up to class a minute too late and the whole lecture hall stared at him like he didn’t belong. Sometimes he just went through the motions.

“Well, we’ve gotta take off now, don’t we Ferre?” Eponine said suddenly and Combeferre gave her a confused head tilt. “Laundry, remember?” She pressed.

“Right, laundry,” he repeated.

“Oh,” Marius began. His hands were fumbling around his mug. “I guess I’ll go too, then.”

“Don’t leave. Go sit at the bar and keep Courf company,” she said, shooting Courfeyrac a sly look.

Marius said okay.

“Do you pick the music?” Marius asked as he slid gingerly into the seat closest to the cash register.

“Yep,” he replied, grabbing a cloth to wipe down the counter. It was a strange mix of 80s pop, indie songs with strange lyrics and unorthodox beats, and a few tracks from Ep’s punk phase that she rolled her eyes at whenever she heard now. His music taste could be off-puttingly eclectic. “What do you think?”

“I like it,” he replied, head bobbing up and down with vigor. His messy hair flopped dizzyingly and adorably.

“What kind of music do you listen to?” He asked, and Marius flushed again.

“Whatever’s on the radio, I guess. I don’t know a lot of cool music.”

“Cool music,” Courf repeated, setting down his dish towel. “If you like it then it’s cool.” He leaned his elbows on the bar beside Marius.

Marius laughed. “Okay, I guess.”

“I’ll make you a playlist.”

“Aren’t you already making Eponine one?”

“New potential friends have priority access,” Courf said, and then kicked himself for being too honest.

“Okay then,” Marius said. “How do you pick the songs?

“Sometimes a song just feels right for a particular moment, I guess.” If he had to pick a song for Marius in the current moment he’d go with something sappy and too much given they’d only met a couple of hours ago. Something like REO Speedwagon’s “Can’t Fight This Feeling.”

Marius nodded as if Courf was a music expert. “Well, thank you in advance.”

They couldn’t talk much more because of the steady stream of customers. Marius stayed until closing, into the point of the night where Courfeyrac’s Spotify playlist reached its more questionable songs. Marius had a book out and was reading, his long lashes making shadows on his freckled cheeks. The Musain ran out of Fresca and sugar cookies and Courf had to defend his specials board before a couple of banjo haters. Marius looked up at him every so often, vague smile on his lips whenever Courf was trying to be charming or entertaining with customers to distract from his only moderately skilled barista-ing. At midnight Courfeyrac turned off the music and Marius looked up a final time.

“Closing time,” Courf said.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize I was the only one still here,” Marius said. He jumped up too quickly and nearly knocked over his chair.

“It’s okay,” Courf said. “It’s nice not to be alone,” he laughed and Marius’ face fell.

“Yeah,” he said, dejectedly. “It really is.”

Shit, what did I say?

“You’ll come back though, and hang out? If you want to,” he added.

Marius looked surprised. “I didn’t bug you? I know I don’t talk a lot,” he muttered.

“You don’t need to talk a lot if you don’t want to,” Courf said.

Marius looked down at his tennis shoes. “Okay,” he said.

“My shifts are every Thursday. You should come back, man.” He said, trying to sound casual. “You can see more of my amazing specials boards.”

Marius nodded. “Alright,” he said. “It was a really good board.”

He said it so sincerely that for a second Courfeyrac felt entirely present and at home in the moment. He wanted more moments like this.

#les mis #ficvember 2018 #awi's fic #les mis fic #courfius #courfeyrac #marius pontmercy #mariusness #enjolras #grantaire #combeferre #eponine thenardier #cosette fauchelevent #jean prouvaire #les amis

[vitiateoriginator]

Work Rant Time:

So now that Im out of the company, I have no fears about talking trash about it over the internet. For those who didn't know, didn't guess, or just didn't care to know, I worked at Dollar General. Today I walked up to the other keyholder on duty, told her "I can't do this anymore, I quit" and then walked out.

The tl;dr is that Dollar General a very bad place to work for long term, but good if you're just getting your feet wet or if you're trying to get by for a short while.

Longer rant below the cut

So, a little bit of history to start off: I started working at Dollar General in March 2020, a week after my old job, A.C. Moore, closed for good (it was already going out of business but the pandemic got it to shut down even faster. rip ac moore I miss you). I should have taken it as a warning sign when I was hired over the phone within a half hour of applying. I wasn't even interviewed, just told I sounded nice and to come in with my ID and SS card on Monday. But being recently unemployed for the first time in almost 3 years I was desperate. However, I didn't expect to stay as long as I did.

On my first day, I was trained alongside 2 people who would be transferred with me to another store. Turns out they were meant to be my boss and her assistant manager. The assistant was fired within the first week.

A month later, I put in a 2 weeks notice. The girl hired as my manager not only had no retail experience (including being absolute trash to the customers) but she was also cutting my hours down to just 4 a week. All because I got a second job due to the minimal pay they were giving me at Dollar General. So I decided I didn't need to stay. During what was supposed to be my last few days, the store's district manager came and cornered me in an aisle with no cameras interrogating me about why I was quitting. I told her I just didn't feel satisfied there. She offered me $10/h to stay, but I still refused. The next day my manager went on a "2 week anxiety leave" only to never return. My hours were increased, I was given a raise. And so, I stayed.

The new manager was the assistant manager who'd taken over once the original was fired. She'd already been working at the company for 6 months before and had been picking up our old manager's slack since her promotion. She was a good boss, firm but fair, and I liked talking with her. But under the pressure of the company she'd give everyone a bigger workload than could be handled in a day. I've got nothing against my boss, she's a good person and I hate hurting her by quitting as we were work friends up until now, but sometimes she could be a little uncaring

As for the work itself it wasn't hard. Cashier most of the time, then stock and recover shelves when it's not busy. But the company has strict protocols to follow. 1 rolltainer every hour you work, even if there's a lot of small pieces on it or if you're on the register that day. Totes have to be done in 6 days from delivery, even if there's a hundred or more.

You get more work put on you if you're a keyholder or the assistant manager. That's to be expected, of course, but the amount of pressure put on you along with it is ridiculous. I didn't want the responsibility. But my boss eventually convinced me to be a keyholder in November. I hated it and gave back the keys a month later. 3 months after I was re-promoted, and stayed that way because I knew I knew more than everyone else on the team, having been there the longest and for some reason the most responsible person working at my location. Another month later after much convincing my boss got me to accept a promotion to assist manager. I hated it. I know that I had more experience than everyone else. I know that made me most qualified. And it wasn't too different from what I had to do as a keyholder. But the constant knowledge that one day I'd be shipped off to become the boss of my own store freaked me out. Nobody really listens to me when I talk or give orders. Even if I could handle the work myself, anyone below me would never listen to my instructions. Not only that, but the way everything is run just sucks

Everything breaks or freezes all the time. The store's registers are the same ones they used in the 90's. You literally have to use a set of keys to do voids, returns, and to get the till out of the drawer. If a register or pinpad breaks you send it back to the company and they send you another one which is just a once broken computer that's been fixed up again, still as ancient as the one before. Or if it's possible to fix quickly, you have to sit in the phone with Dollar General tech support (aka the ERC) for 2 hours while they tell you to turn the computer off and on again. The store's main computer in the back is constantly freezing. The stores trackers (called the HHT) are slow as hell and freeze up or even shut off at random especially when needed the most. Truck deliveries, although scheduled for specific days, come at random. And then there'd be no garuntee that it would be unloaded into the store properly by the driver. Vendors like Coke and Pepsi are unreliable so fighting with them to come unpack the crap they delivered was always a hassle. And on top of all that, you get pressure from the district manager to be faster and do better than you already are. Even with all these problems which the company refuses to fix

Some other nitpicky crap I'd like to mention: DG doesn't take taxes from your paycheck (or if they do its a small amount). This year when I got my income tax, I only got $100 back despite working 3 different jobs in 2020. And then I still owed the government $2 somehow. This also happened to a coworker, who owed the government $300 at income tax time, despite only being 18 and DG being her first job ever. Also, Dollar General doesn't give annual raises, however it is very quick to promote people. But once a person is promoted DG puts an incredible amount of pressure onto them, causing workers to quit before the company has to pay a good wage for too long. Tbh I'm extremely surprised I lasted as long as I did.

So all of those factors are what caused me to quit. That, and since I was made assistant manager, I've only had 1 day a week off, during 45 hour work weeks. I'm just so tired at this point. Frustrated. Unfulfilled. I feel a little guilty for quitting without notice. But overall I feel freed. I'll find a better job one day soon. For now, at least, Im gonna take some much needed R&R.

I'm sure nobody cares about any of this. But I decided to share for those who might have considered Dollar General as a job option. And also as a reminder to my future self of where I've come from and how much I've gone through in the past

#sam's rants about life #dollar general

[wanna1things]

Soulmate!Park Woojin

haha i lov him my first born son, my illness friend, my bab

Genre;; fluff + uhh college!au,, soulmate!au, musical...theatre!au??, graduation!au at the end?????? is that a thing really i don’t knoww

Warnings;; mentioning of like an alternative version of park woojin’s dark past,, that damn dark past…. I had to warn you

Pairing;; Park Woojin x reader

Requested;; no ho ho ho i’m writing this so this account doesn’t die ++ this is also kind of for the anon who asked me to make the soulmate thing into a series sorry i never replied lol but im in a park woojin mood so woojin comes next

Soulmate AU Type;; soulmates experience the same illnesses at the same time until they get in a relationship together (?? is that the right way to put it idk) + soulmates are confirmed by a flash of light when you touch for the first time after you start dating

Summary;; Your best friend Woojin is alway sick when you are sick. You brush it off as being because you spend pretty much every second of every day with him, but maybe it’s something more...

Style;; bullet point

Word Count;; 1796

Also in this series;; Daniel | Jihoon  | Jinyoung | Minhyun

don’t tell anyone the idea from this came from this amazingly fun fact;; woojin is 2 months and 27 days younger than me AND he got shingles EXACTLY the same time in his lifetime as me; so 2 months and 27 days after me; so he is my illness amigo

you and woojin basically grew up together

from the moment his family moved in next door to you you’ve been best friends

i mean the friendship started in a very… different way

you used to hear him singing and dancing in his backyard

and you sang back at the top of your lungs in a desperate attempt to start a conversation lol

when you were in middle school you two used to write your own little musicals and perform them for your families

they weren’t particularly uhh technical?? but they were adorable and your families loved it

there’s so many embarrassing videos of those musicals dfjshdf

when you and woojin both caught chickenpox at the exact same time and were confined to your homes

both of your parents winked at each other

they had the idea that y’all were soulmates because duh that’s how soulmates work

as middle school and high school went on you both always had colds at the same time, you got appendicitis within days of each other and you both had your tonsils out on consecutive days

you brushed it off as it just being a coincidence because ;; well;; you were together 24/7 of course you’d get sick at the exact same times you basically had the same germs

you both got closer and closer until you were pretty much inseparable, people either assumed you were dating or that you were brother and sister tbh you two always used to say you were twins to fool people lol

nobody ever really fell for it though

in your last year of high school, both you and woojin started to date people

most of your other friends had all found their soulmates and honestly

as much as you loved being with woojin you were pretty sure you both needed to start having a look for your soulmates

every time you saw woojin with his girlfriend, something ached in your heart that you couldn’t put your finger on

you just chalked it up to you being a bit jealous that you couldn’t be around your best friend as much, nothing more

little did you know woojin felt the same whenever he saw you with your boyfriends

he knew exactly what it was though, he’d had a crush on you since like;; lol middle school

maybe even since he heard that terrible singing response

but he thought you obviously didn’t reciprocate this since you wanted to look for your soulmate so he just;; did the same as you

and there was like a one in 7 billion chance that y’all would be soulmates anyway, so he looked for his own

but he’d never keep a girlfriend for too long, either because they noticed how he only had eyes for you or woojin just felt bad leading them on

you two still spent time together though

every week you made time for a movie night and sleepover

you’d just turn up in each other’s houses, basically addressing each other’s parents as mum and dad too

your parents could both see there were some unspoken feelings between you two but they just let you sort it out between yourselves

when you started to apply for colleges you made sure to apply to the same ones, or ones close to each other

both you and woojin wanted to major in music/dance and drama

which everyone thought was adorable because of y’know those musicals

but both of you still tried your hardest to forget that

SPOILER ALERT

you both got accepted on the same course at the same prestigious performing arts college

you stayed best friends the whole way through college, taking the same classes the whole way through

also since you went to college there was some sort of unwritten agreement not to date people?? like you couldn’t explain it but you didn’t really want to search for your soulmate anymore (you don’t NEED to search he right here!!!)

halfway through your course your college did a rendition of romeo and juliet

OF COURSE you and woojin went for romeo and juliet i mean (cliche) OF COURSE you both get it too

aaaaaaaaaaah you both conveniently forgot about the kissing scenes

but being actors who must rise above™ you both just agree to deal with the kiss

UMMMM sike you totally did not deal with the kiss

that night you literally fell over just thinking about kissing woojin

did i forget to mention that since the middle of the last year of high school you realised god

you have a bIG crush on mr park

big is an understatement actually gosh

just the thought of kissing your crush made your heart rush 9999 miles per hour but NO you have to be a mature actor

after your little heart attack session you get to learning the lines

you and woojin are doing not the traditional romeo and juliet but a kind of revamped version, a bit like west side story orrr the romeo and juliet film with leonardo di caprio

basically its modern day and with like gangs and stuff rather than families??

AND IT’S CALLED ROMEO AND JULES YES

and in this woojin is a mafia boss’ son lol

the first time you walk into the rehearsal you see woojin standing at the front of the stage in this fancy ass suit with a silk red shirt under and you almost like;; have a nosebleed

“y/n, are you okay??? you’ve been staring for like the past 3 minutes lol”

you realised you’ve been staring a BIT (a lot) too long and go and join him onstage to rehearse

SKIP to 2 weeks before the performance

it comes the time when you have to;; practice the kissing scene;;

you managed to negotiate with the director that there only be one kissing scene because otherwise your poor heart wouldn’t be able to handle it

as you run through the lines the;; kiss;; is getting;;; closer and closer;;; aaaa

woojin suddenly held your face in his hand like he was cradling something precious

OOOOOF here it comes

“Jules, I am more sure than anything that we were put on this earth to find each other.”

he smiled one of those like really cute smiles he does you know where it shows off his ADORABLE snaggletooth

and then he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours

and you swear to god it was like your heart stopped

as it was going on your brain was basically scrEECHING ok yOU LOVE PARK WOOJIN OHHHH MY GOD

when the scene was over you both wandered back to your rooms with a permanent blush comPLETELY lovestruck

until you both woke up the next morning with throat infections

you stayed in bed until the afternoon when you went to pick up your phone to ring woojin and complain like god this guy got you ill AGAIN

when you see you have an incoming call from woojin

“y/n!!! why did you not tell me you had a throat infection omg you better hope this is gone in 2 weeks because i canNOT perform with my throat like this”

“woojin... i did not have a throat infection before this you dummy it’s your fault i bet its because you decided to stay up playing cooking mama or something until like 5 am yesterday”

“MAYBE I DID BUT THAT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS”

woojin hangs up almost immediately because it’s just hit him

you and him both got sick at the exact same time okay

your parents were right you really were soulmates

SO, he rises out of his bed and brainstorms a confession plan

and he decides that at the end of the performance of romeo and jules he’ll reveal his love lol

luckily you both recover in time to do the show but you don’t have time to rehearse the kissing scene

which you’re really thankful for because you don’t know how much more your heart can take

on the night of the play you both share a hug backstage before going on

and you convince each other not to be anxious

it’s just like one of your musicals from when you were younger

both of your parents are in the audience too

the performance starts and it goes like super well

the dance sections are amazing and woojin’s dancing is so like… beautiful you almost forget your lines lol

the kiss scene actually goes surprisingly well

but halfway through you hear your parents and woojin’s little sister go ‘oo’ and wolf whistle lmaoooo

which makes you both blush and fumble a little bit

in the ending scene where you and woojin die because of a hit put out by the mafia boss

there is a whole ass STANDING OVATION

you and woojin are really shocked but you hold hands and smile widely at each other because like this was your dream since you were kids??

and woojin is just staring at you because god you looked so happy in that moment it was like you were glowing shfdsj boys so lovestruck n WHIPPED

as you go backstage you and woojin are just talking and in total shock about the whole thing

“listen woojin i can’t believe it went down so well like did you hear those cheers?? oh my god!!!”

“haha yeah did you hear both of our parents and my sister when the kiss scene happened i was so embarrassed”

“oh my god woojin why did we even invite them honestly i wanted to go and hide in a whole-”

“y/n will you go out with me?”

“honestly when i heard them i felt like i was going to die - wait what? are you serious?”

you look at woojin and you realise he is like… deadly serious

“well duh i am”

“oh darn okay then yeah uhhhh yeah i’ll go out with you??”

he holds your hand tightly and there’s a sudden like flash of light

and woojin just whispers

“i knew it, i’ve known it for years”

and you smile and lean forward to kiss him because god

are you pleased that your best friend and the person you have loved for years is your soulmate

and of course your parents are pleased because damn that 6th sense was CORRECT

UHH BONUS

when y’all graduate obviously top of the class

you make a wonderful plan

to dig up your dark past together

and at graduation you recreate one of the first musicals you did as kids

it goes down so well and the whole class just cheers and screams and cringes along with the hilariously terrible and childish storyline

and basically it’s the damn cutest thing yes

i take that back YOU TWO are the damn cutest thing

ok im going to sleep now uh enjoy this and i’ll do the other members uhh SOON

#woojin #park woojin #wannaone imagines #wanna one imagines #wanna one #wannaone #wannable #produce 101 imagines #Produce 101 #produce 101 scenarios #soulmate au #au #college au