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#This is extremely self-indulgent

merge-conflict · 1 year

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wip wednesday

been picking at a post-game ending piece, where v is dealing with *gestures widely*. probably going to be rewritten eventually but I enjoyed playing around with a different style.

content warning: soul horror? existential grief?

“Valentina?”

it was a calm voice, a strong voice, wielded in the kind of tone reserved for something feral and dangerous and pathetic. she could not be valentina, and she could not be johnny, could not even be human, but the awful cacophony in her head would not allow her to be nothing.

they had other words for her as they hovered over her, around her, attending like flies to a corpse. there was something wrong inside her which they could not cut out. she was host to some tenacious parasite, and even when they could not find it it was all they saw.

“I’m going to come in now, alright?”

she did not lift her head. best not to see what was seen. the doctor approached cautiously, quietly, shoes squeaking on tile.

“My name is Dr. ____. Would you be angry if I sat here next to you? I’d like to talk with you a little while.”

an impossible question to answer. she was always angry, and there were always so many reasons why. (what else was left?) it was all cut down to bone, everything good stripped as excess. if they did not want her angry they should have let her sleep her bloody dreams and He should have let her die.

“I need an answer, Valentina. Yes or no. You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to, but I still need your answer.”

“No.”

her voice weak. her voice soft like rust. an impression where once something used to be.

“Thank you. Now, how are you feeling?”

her lungs wheezed, a madman’s laughter, but that was hers that was her right and she was weak and tired but her laugh was sharp like a blade and so long as she could hide her face from light it was enough to keep the ground underneath her feet.

“Valentina–“

“No.” Wrong.

this doctor was not stupid. “V?”

agreement could be a sort of silence– if you were petty about it, if you were cornered and angry and helpless like a cat in alley. a fox in a trap. (no. no more. no more–) if you were coiled in and around yourself, where you could not be, but could not afford not to be, that could be yes.

if you were truly an animal you would chew off your limbs, but if you were human there were better options for mortification. she had already been pried from the grip of a monster. no more fingers to hold down the strings. if you were human you could become unhuman, something else something wrong–

“Yes or no.”

“Fuck you.” tired already. where had all the fight gone? out with the blood, always out with the blood. at least now her nerves were no longer screaming. now there was just the hurt, immediate and localized and bleeding into white. (thick and heavy in the fabric. jackie? he was just here. he was always here. where has he gone? out with the blood. out with the blood. out with–)

#wip wednesday #my fic #valentine #she is not having a good time #recovery is a bitch #cyberpunk 2077 #going to be honest there's nothing more fun than writing animal stream-of-consciousness #this is extremely self-indulgent #but also what is cyberpunk for if not trying to reconcile the replaceable with the irreplaceable #if not trying to understand how malleable the sense of self can be #both the sudden shock of implantation and the slow creeping fear that something is slipping away #all the while crushed under the giant machine into a shape that fits the only space allotted for someone like you #do you get it?#i'm so normal about this #sorry these are so long sometimes i'm a dingus who is enamored with the sound of their own words

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nordidia · 9 months

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on my HC that when the boys have nightmares they go to Raph because the sound of his snoring is comforting to them

#one day i'll stop making extremely self indulgent HCs but today is not that day.#my art #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

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kaznejis · 10 months

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Love is lost on you- Bucky Barnes x Reader

Sam hummed, eyeing you as he nodded slowly, “He’s been to therapy, gone on a date with some girl apparently.”

Your heart stuttered, eyebrows shooting up as you failed to hide your expression from Sam- the shock and subsequent heartbreak present in your features. “Oh,” you spoke slowly, refusing to meet Sam’s eye, “Yeah, well, good for him.”

A/N- I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing! Please feel free to send any requests for Bucky- I have a lot of free time right now. :)

Word count: 3,862

Read it on AO3!

“Have you seen Bucky recently?”

Your lips twisted at Sam’s question, a lump forming in your throat at the name. Whilst you loved spending time with Sam- breakfasts, jogging together, late night drinks; the topic of your relationship with the Winter Soldier remained a taboo, an unspoken topic that lingered within every etched line of your conversations. You tended to skirt around his questions, opting to forget the time in which Y/N L/N and Bucky Barnes had been the pinnacle of a dynamic duo; both inside and outside of the battlefield. Constant speculation surrounding your relationship made you popular within the public eye, even as active fugitives- the perfect, star-studded friends-to-lovers trope, the bad boy and the good girl next door. Natasha had joked about the two of you being a couple- just to appease the general public who had kept up with any of your appearances.

Bucky had laughed in her face, mocking the idea of even being seen with you, ridiculing the idea of recognising what you believed to be true. You had laughed too, as sincerely as you could with the swirl of rejection in the pit of your stomach. You had realised then that despite your prayers, your wishes, you and Bucky Barnes would never be more than friends.

Sam was the only avenger you were constantly in contact with, having both opted to remain in Washington- you would join him in visiting Steve every now and then; now a dwindling old man, a shadow of the former super-soldier you had looked up to. He remembered very little of his time with the Avengers, the wide span of time his life had consisted throughout caused memories to intertwine and muddle together. But he still laughed, still carried that jovial optimism he carried towards life; you could only smile along, holding his hand as he lived out his final days. You envied Steve at times, he had known exactly where he belonged and had taken the chance to go there.

You hadn’t quite worked out your place in the world post-Avengers, post superhero glory.

Maybe that was why you had clung to Sam, meeting with him regularly and joining him on outings to his hometown; he felt the same way. You couldn’t blame him when he gave away the shield- it was too much of a responsibility, a burden to hold for the rest of his life as he would constantly live in Steve’s shadow. You understood, you couldn’t fault him for it- but part of you knew it would have landed in the wrong hands.

“No,” you shook your head, running a finger along the rim of your beer bottle as the new ‘Captain America’ pranced around on the bar’s television above you. “Why, have you?”

Sam hummed, eyeing you as he nodded slowly, “He’s been to therapy, gone on a date with some girl apparently.”

Sam hummed again, a blatant smirk upon his lips as he drank from his beer bottle, “There’s something else.”

“Go on.”

“He’s coming down here, to help confront the flag smashers issue,” his voice faded out as your heart thudded, “And to probably cuss me out for letting the shield go.”

“He’s coming here? Bucky’s coming here?” your voice wobbled slightly, your facade of strength instantly fading at the thought of being in the same room as him, seeing his face, smelling his scent. It was a feeling you’d once been accustomed to, seeing him everyday- sparring with him in the gym, fighting alongside him, collapsing into his arms as the both of you had faded back into existence- gripping the sides of his face, foreheads connected as you’d cried. Your lips had collided on that fateful day, tears mingling together as you’d gripped at each other, holding fistfuls of his long hair in that Wakandan jungle. You had thought that was it, it was finally happening. But then the portals had opened, the fight had ended and the clarity of the situation had become all too real- Tony and Natasha were dead, Steve was no longer the young super-soldier he had been only seconds earlier. Bucky had left then, disappeared without a trace leaving the kiss you had shared merely adding up to the heat of the moment.

It had broken your heart, more so than the day Bucky had laughed at the thought of a relationship. You had finally grasped it, everything you had ever wanted- you were alive, you had won, you had Bucky. But within minutes it was over, rendering you helpless, empty, alone. You had been left with nothing post-blip, no family to return to, no home to return to. You joined the billions that simply rode the wave of life, unable to return to their previous selves; unable to gain back the years upon years lost to Thanos.

Sam had continued to eye you, pity sitting deep within his eyes, “You know, maybe now could be the time to discuss what happened between you two.”

You shook your head once again, a sardonic chuckle erupting from your gut, “I don’t wanna do that to him, Sam.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You literally just said that he’s been on a date, I don’t want to disrupt his life now with reminders of the past. He’s put it all behind him and I respect that.” You continued to work in favour of America, utilising your skills in order to aid the government. You and Sam had co-ran multiple military focused missions- threats were ever prevalent, so at least you could be occupied on that front.

Sam sighed, rubbing at his forehead, exhaustion prevalent within the crease of his brow, “Well, the two of you better not be awkward as hell the whole time, we have a mission to complete.”

Smiling, you raised your beer bottle to clink it against his, a toast to whatever was to come. “Can’t make any promises.”

You pitied Sam, sitting on the other side of the plane, grasping at any semblance of a coherent conversation in order to escape the thick tension within the air. It was awkward as hell.

Bucky had stormed over to the two of you, opting to ignore you entirely and cuss Sam out for losing the shield. You had been too stunned to acknowledge him- his once long locks had been chopped, replaced by cropped, buzzed hair with the slightest fluff on top. Your body practically yearned for him as you took in the tight leather, light stubble and dominant demeanour he now wore- the quiet, isolated Bucky that you had rescued and harboured was no longer present; he had been replaced by a real soldier- all hard muscle and perfected accuracy. You had stood to the side of Sam, switching between avoiding Bucky’s gaze and gawking at his new appearance. Upon the chance that he had taken to try and acknowledge you, you had already walked away- much to Sam’s dismay as he side eyed the both of you the entire walk towards the plane. Despite Sam’s endearing attempts to include you in the conversation, you had merely hummed and nodded- too nervous to engage with this new Bucky Barnes.

So, now, you sat side by side in the back of the plane- waiting, begging, for the instruction to jump. As soon as it did come, Sam was gone- practically leaping from the plane as he flew towards the target. Bucky had faltered, glancing back at you momentarily as you had remained stoic; refusing to meet his gaze as you checked your weapons.

He cleared his throat, glancing downwards from the exit of the plane, “We got any chutes?”

“It’s too low.” Joaquin replied from the opening, gripping the handle as he remained stable. Bucky glanced back at you once again, a tinge of worry present in his features as he calculated the expanse of the drop before you. You rolled your eyes back, crossing your arms as you waited for him to jump. Clicking his tongue, he nodded- before throwing himself from the plane.

“Impressive,” you snorted as he screamed, grinning at Joaquin who attempted to stifle his laugh, “Good thing I thought to install gliders in my stealth suit instead of opting for a leather jacket.” At that you swan-dived from the entrance, allowing your suit to expand and form makeshift gliders. With feline-like precision, you landed on your two feet beside Bucky, splayed along the grass.

“Well, that was majestic.”

You scoffed, turning to jog after Red Wing as it began to lead the way to Sam’s location. Though, before you could; a weighted hand grasped at your sleeve, “Whoa, whoa. Hold on.” Bucky gasped, presumably exasperated from the fall, “Are you gonna talk to me or are you giving an old friend the silent treatment right now?”

Scoffing, you snatched your hands from the metal arm- an action only possible with his allowance, “What do we have to talk about, James?”

“Oh- come on Doll, James, seriously?” your heart sped at the nickname, your cheeks filling with heat as you turned your face away from Bucky, beginning the long run through the forest. You heard a sigh behind you, to which you ignored, you had nothing to discuss with him. He had obviously moved on, with no intention of using this meet up as a chance to potentially rekindle what had about to have been- right person, wrong time and all. But instead he had gone on a date. He had probably bought her flowers, drinks, and put on a nice outfit for her. The thought made your stomach churn, the polar opposite of butterflies swarming in your stomach. Jealousy. Out of curiosity, you just wanted to know who she was- check that she was a viable replacement, made him happy, was good looking and all. Though you couldn’t ask Bucky about it- why should you care anyway? The two of you had kissed once. Bucky probably didn’t even remember it, you thought to yourself.

The two of you jogged in silence; the heavy weight of what lay between you creating a dark cast upon your conscience. You well and truly pitied Sam. The Falcon came into view within the warehouse, crouched behind a shelf and watching the targets. As him and Bucky argued petulantly, you observed the group ahead- they were just kids. All young, fighting for what they believed was right; you saw a mirror image of your own young self. You watched as they entered the trucks- Sam scanned the trucks before realising that a hostage was potentially present within one of the vehicles. You swore, sprinting after Sam and Bucky.

“Wait!” you shouted, causing the others to come to a halt; both sharing confused looks, “Sam I need you to lift me so we can get extra eyes from the sky- I’m not as fast as the two of you on foot and I’m definitely not about to make James give me a piggyback.” Sam nodded, ensuring that he could lift you and fly at the same time- but not before sharing a confused look with Bucky, mouthing ‘James?’ to which Bucky only shook his head, shrugging. The two of you flew off, allowing you the opportunity to unholster your handguns and deliver a number of shots to the top of the truck.

“Drop me off on top!” you yelled up to Sam as you watched Bucky be thrown from one van and dragged to the top of another. His super-soldier strength inflicting damage upon each vehicle.

“Are you serious?” Sam shouted from above, “You’ll get yourself killed, look at them holding Bucky back right now.”

“Do it Sam.” you ordered, squirming in his arms until he deposited you on top of the trucks to which you instantly unclipped your throwing knives, depositing two into the necks of the two soldiers holding Bucky back. Though- it only angered them, allowing them to turn their attention to your human form. You swore, your hair whipping in the wind as they advanced towards you.

“Y/N!” Bucky yelled, fighting against the men holding him down, “Y/N, no!”

Delivering a fatal kick, the soldier finally reached you, grabbing you by the hair and slamming you into the top of the truck. Screaming, you mustered every tactic you’d ever been taught: elbows, legs, arms- any brutal bone was thrown against the soldier pinning you down. The man tutted, his anonymity within the mask only increasing your terror as cold eyes glared down at you. You realized that you had become used to fighting alongside super soldiers instead of against them.

You heard Bucky’s yell before you felt the impact of the floor- the trucks speeding away as you laid at the side of the road; each breath hitching with the intense pain within your body. Gritting your teeth, you rolled to your knees and crawled to the roadside; only to lose momentum and roll into a ditch. The fall would have been fatal if not for the protection of your suit- but the high velocity impact had still broken a number of bones. Licking your lips, the taste of acrid copper prevailed as you began to cough up flecks of blood; turning only to see that the grass around you was stained red.

“Shit.” your vision blurred dangerously- the pain merged into an unfocused haze, rendering your ability to identify your injuries useless. Fading in and out of consciousness, you listened to the wildlife around you and thought of Bucky. He would never know the origin of your anger- only remembering the cold mirage you had enacted towards him; opting to ignore him instead. Sobbing, you prayed for anyone, anything to find you; for Sam and Bucky to break free from the soldiers and come and find you, save you. You would apologise then- talk to Bucky, talk to him about whatever he wanted to say to you. It didn’t matter if you were just friends, if you met his new girlfriend- you just wanted to see him again.

Blood stained your chin at that point; the coughing and choking a constant motion as you couldn’t muster the strength to sit up; to allow your throat some reprieve. Your leg felt wrong, broken in different places and bent backwards at the knee. As your vision faded, you only thought of Bucky.

“Shit, shit Y/N,” a gust of wind hit you as the whoosh of wings closing sounded above, “Buck! I’ve found her, she’s over here.”

The sound of knees hitting the ground beside your head could be heard next, the impact causing your head to jostle, “Doll? Y/N, can you hear me, tell me you can hear me.” warmth surrounded you as you felt your head being lifted into a lap, a rough sleeve gently wiped the blood staining your chin, “Come on Y/N, don’t do this to me. Wake up.”

“Get her in the truck.” A foreign voice sounded, deep and arrogant in its timber.

“Get away from her,” the voice above you snapped, “we don’t know the extent to her injuries yet- we may not be able to lift her.”

“We need to get her to a hospital, Buck,” a voice that sounded like Sam’s spoke, “there’s still a heartbeat, we’ve got a chance.” Throughout the conversation above you, a trembling hand had caressed your face; smoothing the blood-matted hair away from your face and distracting you from the pain throughout your body. The hand was calloused but gentle- the feeling of it against your cheek vaguely familiar in your unconscious state. You faded in-and-out of consciousness from there, an ache resounding throughout your body as you were lifted and held against a firm chest; warmth radiating through the harsh material. Sweet nothings and comforts were whispered into your ear as the body stayed close, the hand firm against the side of your face; creating a comforting pressure. Reminding you that you could still be alive.

Eventually, you woke- the harsh lights of a hospital room blinding as your eyes adjusted; the last thing you had seen being the country roadside. Coughing, you retched at the sandpaper texture to your throat. A straw was quickly coaxed towards your mouth, Sam’s worrisome eyes staring down at you. You sipped from the straw, blinking as you truly adjusted to being conscious.

“Hey there,” Sam spoke as he gave you a watery smile, his eyes filling with tears, “We thought we’d lost you for a minute there.”

“Can’t lose me that easily,” you croaked, smiling at your best friend and reaching for his hand; to which he obliged.

“Thankfully not,” Sam laughed shakily, his gaze still clouded with emotion, “Y/N, I was the one to see you first and- we really didn’t know if you were going to make it. I mean there was so much blood and your leg-” you squeezed his hand tighter, you were alive, you were okay. Sam’s vision darkened suddenly, his hold on yours tightening. “You should have seen him Y/N.”

Furrowing your eyebrows, you cocked your head at Sam, “Who?”

“Buck, he- the soldiers held him up so he watched as you were thrown. The scream he let out I- I’ve not seen him lose it like that during a fight in years, not since-”

“The Winter Soldier.” you finished, turning your gaze to your hands. Sam could only nod.

“He cares about you, Y/N. So much. He held you to his chest the entire journey here and we practically had to tear you from his arms when we arrived.”

“Why isn’t he here now then?

Sam’s face took a different cast then, one of confusion. “I- I’m not sure actually, he said he wanted to give us some space?” You reflected his look of confusion.

“Is he still in the hospital?”

“I assume so, it wasn’t too long ago that he left,” Sam stood then, giving you a kiss on the cheek and jogging towards the door- still in full Falcon gear, “I’m gonna send him in.”

It was only a number of moments later that Bucky rounded the entrance to the doorway, his expression stricken as he froze- staring at your opened eyes, at your steady breaths. A beat passed and he sighed, moving to occupy the vacant seat that Sam had been sitting in only moments earlier. “Hey, Doll.”

“Buck,” you sighed, reaching for his twitching hand that lay at the edge of your bed, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, a glint of anger and confusion in his eyes, “I’m okay? Y/N I watched you fall from a moving truck.”

Rolling your eyes, you sat straight; wincing slightly at the pain, “I was just say-”

“No, Y/N,” Bucky snapped, “you shouldn’t even have been there in the first place, I mean what were you thinking, jumping onto a truck and taking on super soldiers that were holding me down.”

“Wow, thanks-”

“Seriously. This easily could have been prevented if your boyfriend hadn’t agreed to carry you 100 feet into the air.”

“My what-”

“I mean, come on, surely he should have your best interests in mind. The whole thing was reckless from the beginning, if I was in his position I wouldn’t have brought you.”

You sat, shell shocked, Bucky thought you and Sam were together, “Is that why you weren’t here when I woke up?”

Bucky nodded then, hurt in his eyes as he scrubbed at his stubble, “Yeah- I mean, I wanted to, you know, give you space. Let you work things out I don’t know-”

You cackled, laughing right in his face- leading to an entirely unattractive coughing fit to which Bucky was forced to clap you on the back. “Why are you laughing at me?”

“You’re ridiculous,” you chuckled, wiping at the tears rolling down your cheeks as you stared at the silly man before you, “Bucky, me and Sam aren’t together.”

Bucky paused, seemingly halting in his tracks as he gaped at you, “What?”

“We aren’t together.”

“But-” he shook his head, having seemingly lived a lie for however long he’d believed this, “but you two have been so close I mean- every time I talk to Sam he mentions things the two of you have been doing and you’re just so close and in tune with each other I thought-”

“We’re just friends Buck,” your mouth twisted, the clarity of the situation hitting you, “Why do you even care anyway? You have a girlfriend.”

“Oh for goodness sake.” Bucky was laughing now, standing and opting to pace the room, his face filled with mirth as he continued to scrub at his stubble, “I do not have a girlfriend.”

“Sam told me you went on a date.”

“Sam told you- yeah and he conveniently missed the part where I did that in an attempt to get over you.” Bucky threw his arms up then, his expression defeated as he spoke. You could only stare back, lips pursed, eyes wide.

“Get over me?”

“Yes.”

“But, I thought-” you shook your head, “after the battle, you-you left and we never spoke again. I thought you regretted what happened. I thought-”

“Every waking moment is spent thinking about that kiss, Doll,” Bucky sighed, circling the bed to sit back at your side, taking your hand in his, “I was mourning, my best friend was gone and I knew he was going to do it but I just- I would never be ready for it, you know. Sam found me later and he was telling me all of these stories about you and- God, I’m so stupid- I presumed that the two of you had gotten together so I kept my distance. I mean, I was so in love with you that I didn’t want to ruin that for you even despite what had happened between us and- I’m so sorry Y/N.”

Tears trickled down your cheeks as you stared at the ridiculous, gorgeous man before you; you laughed again, softer and tearier this time as you reached to grab Bucky’s face, mirroring the action that he had done to you during your unconscious state, “We are so ridiculous.”

Bucky laughed too then, moving to sit at the edge of your bed and tuck the loose hair behind your ears- his cheeks were crumpled; red with embarrassment and love and longing. He leaned forward then, careful in respect of your injuries, in order to capture your lips between his. This kiss was different from your first, it was slower, less urgent- your thumbs tracing figure-of-eights into his cheeks as you didn’t carry that same weight of uncertainty as you had last time. You smiled against each other's mouths, hands trailing each other’s bodies- the back of his head, his cheeks, his back, his neck, the brass of his metal arm.

You finally felt complete, like you knew where you belonged.

#bucky barnes x reader #mcu #mcu fanfiction #bucky barnes #falcon and the winter soldier #extremely self indulgent #sam wilson #marvel #thunderbolts #use of the doll nickname iktrrrr

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seabunnant · 4 months

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Tomas vrbada x GN!Reader NSFW Headcanons

I am so normal I am normal I am normal.

Warnings: smut! 18+ (afab reader)

I NEED TO FUCK TOMAS.

Tomas is hovering over you and he's so excited, so fucking excited. It doesn't matter how many times he's seen you like this, you under him could drive him insane a million times over. Even just kissing you gets him riled up, tease him about it but he's too needy to even stop. When he pulls away his face is flushed and pink, breathing heavy already and looking into your eyes with so much need.

Wants to pleasure you so badly. If he's eating you out he's holding your hands and kicking his legs in the air. Mumbling how perfect you taste and how nice you are to him, how much he loves you. Constant praise with this dude and he likes it back. Compliment him and tell him he's doing good, if you squeeze his head with your thighs or grip his hair he gets even more turned on by knowing he is pleasing you. His goal is to make you feel so good you can barely talk, he won't want to break away from your pussy unless you've come at least once.

He is 100% a service top, not dominant. CAN be if you want him to but he'd be too embarrassed to do certain things like call you mean names or be too harsh. He does enjoy a little bit of teasing, though it isn't that hard to take control over and have him blushing and whining. He is very into you taking control.

He likes to make love to you. He's very affectionate, kissing you constantly and cuddling while he fucks you. He'll hold your hands, sloppy making out and such. His pace tends to start slower and get faster as you go and he gets more and more into it. Especially if you ask him to go faster and harder he'll struggle not to, and with how big and strong he is… my god.

He's very vocal in bed, talking, moaning, and whining. He'll beg and plead when he's already inside you, asking for more, and he'll make sure to tell you how much he loves you. Everything about sex with you is heaven to him, the way you feel around him, the sounds of you moaning, and how you look when he's fucking your cunt. It doesn't take him long to finish especially when he's looking at you; He struggles to keep eye contact with you for too long because he gets overwhelmed but it turns him on SO much. You can feel him throb inside you if you look at him for too long. He is so cute.

I think he could also be more dominant especially after you're more comfortable in bed. He won't be able to get over how hazy you make him feel and how bad he needs you. But the idea of fucking you into the mattress while you're begging for more has definitely crossed his mind more than once, he might just be a bit shy for it yet. You'll get there eventually… he just needs more… practice. 😊😊😊😊😊😊

#mk1 x reader #mk1 x you #mortal kombat x reader #smoke x reader #tomas vrbada x you #tomas vrbada x reader #smoke x you #mortal kombat smut #tomas vrbada smut #Extremely self indulgent this one

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nyancreeperpony · 6 months

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This might just be me, but I am starting to notice a serious trend of independent animation being critisized simply for being self indulgent.

It happened with Hazbin Hotel in 2019 and it's currently happening to The Amazing Digital Circus now, which is which very sad to see. It's not enough to be pattern but it's definetly enough to be noticeable.

A lot of people who don't delve to much into creative mediums seem to forget that art: ALL ART, is a self indulgent medium. The target audience, when creating a project, is yourself. If other people like it and want to see more, than cool. But at the end of the day, you (or in this case, Gooseworx and Vivziepop) are the target auidence for their/your projects.

"All the characters in Hazbin Hotel reek of Tumblr and teenage edge" Vivzie designed all the characters when she was in Highschool and wanted to reuse them for her series. Of course they have 2010s Deviantart vibes, she grew up a 2010s deviantart kid and wanted to keep that vibe.

"Jax is total Tumblr Sexyman Bait and everything is too colorful and bouncy and annoying!" Gooseworx said themself that they like Jax's character archetype which is why they wanted to include him. Also have you SEEN Goose's other work? Bouncy and colorful are their thing.

There are plenty of things to critisize about HH (And it's spinoff HB) and TADC. Even as a fan of these works, I have my issues with them, some even as a result of this self indulgence, but disliking them so vehemently simply BECAUSE they are self indulgent really discourages people from making art, especially in fields such as animation.

TLDR: If you want to see more independent animation and art being made, you have to let people get a little self indulgent. You might not like it, but at the end of the day, it isn't made for you. And that's ok.

#I'm just sad that Digital Circus is lowkey getting the Hazbin Hotel treatment. Same with Hazbin too.#Hatred of both is...a really small minority #Thank god #Most people like these pilots for good reason #But I feel like the small yet loud minority does not understand how art works sometimes.#And coming from someone who wants to make webcomics someday. Webcomics that are extremely self indulgent.#It's sad to see.#hazbin hotel #helluva boss #the amazing digital circus #nyanbles

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imviotrash · 24 days

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I honestly think that Joanne had it the worst (psychologically) during the midnight tea party.

Imagine being bullied and isolated for a year, because someone fabricated an entire web of lies about you due to you getting a tiny bit of positive attention. The truth about the situation finally comes to light, you get your (very demanding) dream job, are well liked among your peers and are finally included within the schools society.

And then within one night you:

-discover your comfort teacher and your first friend are not real and are actually private investigators

-find out your boss who is supposed to be your role model and protector is a murderer

-realize that the principal has been on vacation for a year and was replaced by THE FUCKING GRIM REAPER

-learn that the vice principal is DEAD (and was subjected to human experimentation)

-learn that you're the second replacement for a guy who got brutally murdered and ALSO subjected to human experimentation (which you are witnessing right Infront of your eyes in real time)

-literally hear why and how these humans have been experimented on

-see how someone gets turned into dinner

-almost get turned into dinner yourself and can't escape on time because your body shut down out of shock.

-see how your "friend" is hunted for sport by the grim reaper.

-also see your "comfort teacher" crush someone's head right Infront of you.

-become unconscious out of shock.

-loose not only your boss, two friends (Soma and Ciel )and comfort teacher after this whole fiasco, but also your entire network of coworkers because they got a promotion you're too young to have.

-on top of that YOU CANNOT talk about what happened to you to anyone because you were sworn to secrecy and you can't really talk about it privately to your former colleagues either, since they're now a completely different rank than you.

Like- the guy didn't get physically injured, but he was the only real student to witness the entire Midnight tea party, because he couldn't escape on time. (And let's also not forget that he's the youngest of the real students present at the party and definitely the most sensitive one).

Since the Midnight tea party will happen again, Joanne and his former coworkers are probably forced to attend again since they can't really publicly share the reason as to why they don't want to go.

#when your comfort character didn't have a day of comfort in his life #i love how Joanne was supposed to be a oneshot character but the editors ended up liking him so much that he became a regular character #but instead of treating him like a normal character they just decide to make the worst things happen to him #He needs to be rescued from this manga #im looking WAAAAAY too deep into this but its been on my mind for a while #this is definitely me pretending that this character is of more relevance than he actually is #definitely very self indulgent post #but I honestly think he deserves more in depth writing!#especially since hes interested in philosophy and witnessed the extremes of his schools code of ethics #kuroshitsuji #black butler #kuroshitsuji season 4 #vio speaks #joanne harcourt #kuroshitsuji spoilers

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suzuki-ecstar · 2 months

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fernando alonso is interviewed by telecinco — 2005, el año que cambió nuestra vida (2022), dazn

#fernando alonso #f1 #my gifs #*#giffed this for extremely self-indulgent reasons (hair)#the way this season is going i’m gonna pretend it’s 2003 or smth

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violetscanfly · 4 months

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It's been a while huh? How about a long ass trolls au post? Would that be anything?

Ok but seriously I'm obsessed with them and wrecked my sleep schedule for two nights in a row because I was having so much fun drawing them. I haven't seen any crossovers yet and I have many thoughts about how the mdzs/trolls lore works.

I was thinking about making each clan a different type of troll (the lans would fit classical so well etc but I wasn't really into the cupid aesthetic lmao) but the point of this at the beginning was just to get rid of major art block by drawing cute trolls so I just did whatever :'D

The gist of it is Wei Wuxian is a rock troll adopted into the pop troll society by the jiangs and in his yiling laozu era he fully leans into the rock side of himself that he used to suppress to fit in. I had to make Chenqing into an electric guitar, obviously, (rip wangxian duet) and he uses it to control rock zombies. As usual he gets resurrected by Mo Xuanyu (Did he die by being eaten? Maybe.) and his final form reflects both his love for pop while embracing his rock side as well. Also yes, the Jin trolls are yellow, so.

Since the Lan clan are not really classical trolls I thought they're instead more of the love ballad type of pop, (fits the lans only love once thing too!) so, very sentimental. Which makes Lan Wangji stand out by being cold and seemingly closed off while he's secretly composing love songs for Wei Wuxian. Design-wise I felt the lans would wear more layers and keep their hair tied but I wanted to differentiate the style from Wei Wuxian's ponytail so it's either a half tied up (down? since troll hair goes up??) or a bun. I thought it was funny to give Lan Wangji a huge hairpiece to keep the high hair thing going even when it's tied. Also it kinda marks his age, the taller it is the older he is. Maybe it's a status symbol as well.

I didn't really put too much though into A-Yuan since I just randomly decided to add him cause baby trolls are adorable but basically just Wen colours and the pigtails are homage to manhua A-Yuan whom I love.

Overall I tried to mix design elements from both ips and I really like how they turned out. I think that's all for now. :'D

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