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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 3 years

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Hakuoki SSL Store Bonus Drama CD 《Their Youth~ Student Council Helper Episode～》

....Why are people subscribing to me on youtube? like i get that people subscribe for the otome stuff i translate and subtitle (which i only really do so that i can have a copy of it for myself), but i don’t really think that people should be subscribing if they expect more Gokushufudou content since I don’t have anything else that I can or want to translate for that series....

anyway, this is my translation of the 薄桜鬼SSL -sweet school life- いまじんWEBショップ特典ドラマCD「彼らの青春～生徒会助っ人編～」 drama. I was only able to obtain the audio for this from a certain site that doesn’t allow for sharing... so I am unable to put anything else out for this... unless someone shares the audio and an image with the cd and their username or w/e on it (alternatively, if it shows up on bilibili or something then i’ll be able to use that), though I will edit it when i make my own subtitles for this. lol. sorry but not sorry?

anyway, enjoy~ image used is from suruga-ya.

Hakuoki SSL Store Bonus Drama CD 《Their Youth~ Student Council Helper Episode～》

Translation by KumoriYami

Yamzaki: The private school, Hakuo Gakuen. The school we attend, based on the school principal, Kondou-sensei's, intentions, we adhere to his educational policy of "becoming warriors with indomitable spirit", not just while learning and when participating in club activities, but while also working harder for the community, or so it should be.... but there are always exceptions to everything in the world.

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Hakuoki SSL Store Bonus Drama CD 《Their Youth~ Student Council Helper Episode～》

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(knocks)

Yamazaki: Excuse me, is Hijikata-sensei here?

Hijilata: Oh? It's Yamazaki. What is it?

Yamazaki: Sanan-sensei asked me to bring these materials over to you.

Hijikata: So it was like that. Thanks. By the way, Yamazaki....... Do you have a moment right now?

Yamazaki. yes. I'm not doing anything right now.

Hijikata: In that case, sorry...... can you go to the student council to do something? Today Amagiri and Shiranui both happened to take the take the day off today, and there apparently is insufficient manpower on hand.

Yamazaki: The student council.......is it......?

Hijikata: Uh, the average person would react like that... I've already asked several people before asking you, and as soon as they heard "student council," they immediately ran away.

Yamazaki: I can sympathize with those students. because I am not really good at dealing with the student council president.

Hijikata: When it comes to that guy, I believe that if you searched the entire world, that you wouldn't find many people good at dealing with him. Nothing can be done though, I'll go help this time...

Yamazaki: Wha...!? How can Hijikata-sensei personally attend to this matter! In that case, I'll go help the student council!

Hijikata: Can you? To be frank, this is a chore.

Yamazaki: A gentleman's word is his bond!

Hijikata: Then I'll leave it to you.... But if something goes wrong, you need to immediately report to me.

Yamazaki: Yes! I'll be going to the student council room now!

(Yamazaki leaves)

Hijikata; Yamazaki is too straightforward... I hope he doesn't overdo it...

(student council room)

Yamazaki: (knocks on door) Excuse me. I'm the second year, Yamazaki. Hijikata-sensei entrusted me to help you.

Kazama: By Hijikata? Che, he's meddling into other people's business/can't mind his own business. He most likely coaxed you into helping, but whatever the case, if you think you can help, I will provide you this opportunity.

Yamazaki: (Obviously he's in the position of receiving a favour, but why he so overbearing/arrogant?!)

Kazama: Did you say something?

Yamazaki: I didn't say anything! Returning to the topic/Anyway, what can I help you with?

Kazama: here, put these clothes on first.

Yamazaki:...What's with this collar and Japanese-style school uniform?! Our school's official uniform is a suit/Western-style clothes.

Kazama: This uniform is of the same style as Amagiri's uniform. Although it's only temporary, you'll need it to wear this is you are to complete the student council's work [gave up rewording all of this].

Yamazaki: Even so! Modifying the uniform goes against the school rules...

Kazama: Hey! As student council president, I am saying that there are no problems! I am the school rules!

Yamazaki: (How did such a person become the Student Council president?)

Kazama: Good, now that you understand, hurry up and change clothes in the dressing room, then get to work.

Yamazaki: ( No other choice but to resign myself.... [tl uses an idiom that can mean "submit to hte will of the heavens," "resign (oneself to fate)," or to "leave it to luck"]) Understood!

(door opens)

Hijikata: Oi, Kazama! you there?

Kazama: It turns out it was Hijikata. What brings you here? If you want to leave please turn right and head straight.

Hijikata: Someone just came in, why are you already trying to chase them away! I was just worried about Yamazaki, so I came to check on him.

Kazama: Yes. Then if you're done, hurry up and leave.

Hijikata: You bastard.... Anyway, where is Yamazaki?! I don't see him...

(door opens)

Yamazaki: Kazama-senpai, excuse me. I've finished changing clothes...

Hijikata:……Yamazaki?!

Kazama: Hrm. As expected, people rely on clothes [clothes do make the man? or clothes bring out a person? can't exactly think of an equivalent right now tho]. Such an appearance is barely passable.

Hijikata: Wait a moment! What's with that strange uniform?!

Kazama: This is a custom-made uniform made for the student council. Since he's helping the student council, isn't it common sense to dress like this?

Hijikata: What common sense! That clearly violates the school rules...

Yamzaki: It's fine, Hijikata-sensei...

Hijikata: Nn?

Yamazaki: I'll think of this as a a work uniform! Anyway, Kazama-senpai, about the content of that work...

Kazama: Che, don't tell me that you aren't able to do unless you receive orders from me? It's such a waste that you are unable to understand your superior's mind, and require someone to explain everything to you so that you can act.

Yamazaki:...!!

Hijikata: I'm afraid that if you searched the entire world, the only person who would be able to understand your mind, would be Amagiri?!

Kazama: No choice then. I shall mercifully/gracefully provide instructions to those that are stupid. There will be a meeting to pay for club activities/budget meeting for all of the clubs tomorrow. However, only a handful of reports have been submitted, and what has been isn't sufficient to be used as materials/ a reference to approve of the clubs' expenses. In other words, you should go investigate for me to see if all of the club activities are actually being held.

Yamazaki: Understood! Which clubs [tl is for "department] do I need to investigate?

Kazama: Needless to say, it's all the clubs within Hakuo Gakuen. The deadline is today.

Hijikata: Don't be so forceful [ridiculous!]!! Have you even thought about how many clubs there are at this school?!

Kazama: Amagiri and Shiranui would complete this within an hour, which this trivial matter cannot be considered a problem. If this can't be done, I won't force it. This only proves to me that you do not have a good eye for talent from the help you recommended to me, Hijikata [gave up rewording after 8 times].

Yamazaki:...I understand. I will certainly be able to investigate all of the clubs today!

Kazama: When the moment comes, don't go back on your word. This is a list of all the clubs at Hakuo Gakuen.

Yamazaki: The total number of clubs at Hakuo Gakuen is... 108?!

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(footsteps)

HIjikata: Ah... it's been a while since Yamazaki darted out of the student council room... Is he really okay? I hope he didn't get involved in anything strange...

Yamazaki: L-Let go of me! I, I hate this sort of thing!!

Hijikata: Nn?

Yamazaki: Even if you say that you can't understand the specifics of this club without personally trying it, I don't want to do this...!!! Let go of me!!!

Hijikata; That voice just now.... Yamazaki? (runs over) Oi! Yamazaki!

---------

(bouncing sound [haven't listened to this drama in a while so this might not be accurate, tho the tl does say bouncing])

???: Ah....... Hijikata-sensei......

Hijikata: Oi! What's with this huge stuffed animal?!

Yamazaki: It's me! Yamazaki!

Hijikata: A-ah..... nn, nn.... I, I can hear your voice..... but, but what I hear doesn't sound like the Yamazaki I recognize...!

Yamazaki: That's because of this [i think?]! I am the genuine Yamazaki! I'm just wearing this costume! Ah... sorry to trouble you, but can you please help me pull the back zipper down?

Hijikata: Ye-Yeah...

Yamazaki: Hah... finally escaped from that...!

Hijikata: You... why were you dressed like that?!

Yamazaki: Because.... when I went to the costume club, their members said they just finished these clothes, and that I had to try it on....

Hijikata:....Those animal overalls are part of a costume?

Yamazaki: No matter what happens, I never want to come back to the costume club!! But... normally I wouldn't have such a chance, and after seeing it with my own eyes, I now know that there are many clubs at our school.

Hijikata: That's because when Kondou-san was thinking about club establishment, he said to respect the individuality of the students. As long as the activities' content and purpose are clearly stated, provided that they aren't bad, and if the number of club members reaches a certain level, any club can be established.

Yamazaki: I think, by using the costume club as an example, there are actually quite a lot of informal clubs...

Hijikata: It seems that it will be necessary to re-examine those clubs in the future.... Anyway, which club are you going to next?

Yamazaki: The mountaineering club. Judging from the club's name, the content of the activities should be straightforward. To be honest, I feel relieved.

Hijikata: No, that club...

Yamazaki: Then, I'll be going there as fast as I can. I'll be taking my leave first!

(Yamazaki leaves)

Hijikata: Eh... I remember they were supposed to go climbing today.... Going back to their activities, isn't mountaineering difficult [tl for mountaineering can be interpreted as "climbing," "to climb a mountain," and "mountaineering."]?!

------------------

Yamazaki: (All sorts of problems kept on occurring after that during the inspection. The drama club was infected with an influenza virus [no idea how else to reword that right now], and all of their members were sick so I was unable to investigate their activities in detail; I wasted time at the kendo club because of Okita-kun's pranks; the mime club didn't speak during their activities, which resulted in even the most basic communication not being achievable... Will it really be possible for me to inspect all of the clubs today?)

-------------

(knocking)

Hijikata: Oi, Kazama! I'm coming in.

Kazama: Hijikata. It's really rude for someone to enter without being given my permission.

Hijikata: Didn't I knock and say greetings in advance? It's almost the end of the school day, is Yamazaki back yet?

Kazama: Not yet. I thought he was a bit capable, but I apparently underestimated him.

Hijikata: I believe in him. Although he has a tendency to overdo things and often fails to get the key points, once he makes up his mind, he will surely be able to complete any task.

Kazama: Hrm~ that's the same as someone else/you're two peas in a pod. That being the case, let's bet.

Hijikata: I'm not interested in betting with students. But if we were betting, I'd bet that Yamazaki will be able to accomplish his task.

Kazama: Then I will bet that he did everything in vain/will be useless.

HIjikata: I won't feel sorry for you if you lose.

Kazama: Hmph. Don't steal my words. Look at the time, the school bell will be ringing soon.

(Running then a door opens)

Yamazaki: (gasping) Inspections on the club activities... it's all done.... hah....

Hijikata: That's great! Well done, Yamazaki!

Kazama: Che......

Yamazaki: Hu..... Thank..... you..... (collapses)

Hijikata: Oi oi!! Are you okay?!

Yamazaki: I..... I'm..... fine......

Kazama: Really, I'm blaming you for messing up all of the materials.... Nn?

Hijikata: What are those documents?

Kazama: They seem to be reports on the club activities.

Hijikata: Ha?! Didn't Yamazaki write the reports for that?!

Kazama: Nn. These are all...

Hijiikata:....Oi! That can't be....!!

Kazama: It looks like Amagiri wrote yesterday. But he actually tossed them into the piles of documents of here, which resulted in no one knowing that he had written such reports.

Yamazaki: What.....!!

Hijikata: That......!!

Kazama: Hmph. It looks like I won, Hijikata. All his efforts turned out to be worthless.

Yamazaki: Ho-How is that possible...!!

Hijikata: You're not feeling even the slightest bit guilty, are you even even speaking as a human?! This is all your student council's fault!!

Kazama: Hmph. Go and complain to Amagiri.

Hijikata: You need to take responsibility for the lack of supervision! Besides, what the hell were you doing when Yamazaki was running around everywhere complete that task?! If you were doing a good job, you should have been able to notice this!!

Kazama: Of course I'm working. My job is to complete the ambitious project called "Writing down all of My Wife's 100's Strengths/Virtues/Good Qualities"! These forms took me a week to complete and it is a magnificent written masterpiece!

Hijikata: You bastard... you were doing something this stupid while Yamazaki was struggling!

Kazama: What are you barking about? What's more important than this?

Yamazaki: I tore it up to show you————!! [im guessing this is more "i pushed myself" or "I'm going to tear that up." probably the latter]

Kazama: Nn? What do you think? Do you want to look at it? Although your efforts were futile, I will mercifully/graciously acknowledge your actions. Alright, I'll lett you look. But you have have to treat it carefully.

Yamazaki: I'm blaming this for what happened—!!! (tears up Kazama's documents)

Kazama: Stop that! My week of hard work! Hi-Hijikata! Why are you grabbing me?!

Hijikata: You reap what you sow! Obediently accept reality!!

Kazama: My priceless masterpiece———!!!

~END~

got ME:LE working last weekend... and omg it’s like a walk down memory lane lol. finished the first game though im going to have to do an insanity playthrough for the achievement later.

#hakuoki #hakuouki #hakuoki ssl #hakuoki drama cd #hakuoki drama translation #Yamazaki Susumu #Hijikata Toshizou #Kazama Chikage

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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storytime-with-moth · 4 years

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Writing part of my ATLA Soulflower Prompt - take what you like and make it into your own!

Feel free to take what you like from this and change whatever you like to make it work. There are lots of different ways to interpret flowers and how the characters were feeling. Send me any fan art or fanfic from this if you use it, no credit needed I just want to admire it! Feel free to just use placements of the flowers too! No meanings needed, I just like the idea of Sokka really only nicking his hands and covering up the flowers on his arms with wraps until he can’t hide it anymore when his face is marked.

MOSTLY JUST ZUKKA

Notes: There could also be lot’s of fun angst and miscommunication because Sokka knows when he first sees Zuko, but Zuko shouldn’t notice until he shows up at the Western Air Temple saying “Zuko here” and that way his decision to leave the Fire Nation is entirely based on his own character growth, for which he is rewarded with finally being worthy of his soulmate. (there will be growing pains between the boys)

But of course the whole time Sokka just thinks Zuko is a jerk who would ignore his own soulmate so callously which is why he tried to move on with Yue and Suki.

For this cannon divergence Sokka has always known that being Bi is fine and discovered his own bisexuality on the road when he is presented with boys his age for the first time as well as girls that aren’t his sister. And our dear Zuko is gay and him and Mai use each other as beards when he goes back to the Fire Nation. (Mai/Ty Lee but they have to keep it on the down low)

Here it goes….

When Sokka was 8 he got a fish hook stuck in his thumb, and of course it had to be a stupid barbed hook that stuck steadfast in his hand. Being the bright you man he was he thought he could leverage the hook out with another small blade. And that was how he ended his evening hugging his Mum and lamenting over the two sore holes in his thumb. Kya brushed through his hair with her hands and whispered stories of his Dad doing the same thing when he was young.

Sokka turned around and held his Mother’s hand in his turning it over gently, there in between her fingers rested a small pink blossom of Balsamine.

“What does this one mean Mum?”

Kya smiled softly at her son “Impatience my little arctic dove…. You are so much like your father I bet your soulmate is looking at two of the same flower on their thumb right now.”

Sokka looked back at his thumb with reverence. “You think they’ll like me?”

“I know they will, the spirits don’t make mistakes.”

In that moment miles away a young prince sat next to a small candle holding his hand up mesmerized by the two pink flowers on his thumb.

“Hello.”

_______________________

When Kya passed, Sokka silently stacked the rocks making her burial site with the rest of his family, his hand slipped on his own tears and ice slicing his palm open in the process. He couldn’t be bothered to care. He just wrapped more cloth around it and continued with his silent vigil of burying his mother.

That night Prince Zuko would be found pouring over a soul flower book looking for the deep crimson flower on his palm.

“The Dark Crimson Rose: Can have two interpretations. One is about sadness and mourning and death. The second, has a more joyous meaning - rebirth and love. When someone your soulmate care about passes away, the dark crimson rose can express their feelings of mourning and sadness.”

Zuko held his hand close to himself and whisper softly “I’m sorry.”

—————————————

Years later Sokka woke up screaming and clutching his face, his face felt like it was on fire. Worse than any soul pain before, worse than any pervious flower burning into his hand or arm, this was agony.

He didn’t speak for days, too much pain and anguish plagued his 12 year old body. His eye was fuzzy for days and it took weeks for him to regain his balance enough to be trusted in a canoe with his dad.

What never left however were the purple hyacinth’s scattered around his left eye and cheek. He asked his Dad what they mean’t, but he just shook his head looking sad.

“I’m not sure son. I have never seen flowers like that before and so much of our history has been lost I’m not sure anyone left knows much about every flower.”

Sokka hung his head and left the room. Not before Hakoda whispered to himself “Your mother would have known.”

___________________________

After a childhood spent running away from Azula’s flames and then his Father’s, he was grateful that his soulmate seemed to live a safe life only ever nicking their hands and forearms, more often than not they were so small and shallow the flowers would fade in a few months just like his soulmates scars.

There were a few flowers that stayed into his teens, the two pink flowers on his thumb, the red rose on his palm and a small cockscomb across the back of his hand, which he read symbolized affection, singularity, and silliness. He was fond of that one, Zuko liked to think his soulmate got that one playing with a friend and laughing like Ty Lee does when Mai tries to do a handstand.

He hoped that when he met his soulmate they would forgive him for the unfortunate number and placement of flowers they would have. The burn across his face was likely to never heal completely meaning that not only had his father marked him for life, they marked his soulmate too.

_______________________

Zuko noticed that once he started in earnest to chase the Avatar more and more soul flowers would pop up on his hands, knees, and every once in a while across his cheek or on the back of his head. Most of them faded after a few weeks, but their appearance still made his heart lurch a little.

Why were they suddenly in so much danger? Why did all the flowers mean bravery and courage? Who were they fighting?

He had figured out a while ago that his soulmate must be a boy, because he never found any interest in the girls around him. Plus the scars had to come from someone who worked with their hands hunting, fishing, practising with blades. Only that could account for all the small nicks he saw over the years. So his soulmate was a warrior.

He secretly hoped that he wasn’t fighting against his soulmate, that would be awful.

______________________

When Aang burned Katara his hands were suddenly covered in burning lavender sprigs, he wept as Sokka yelled at him and Katara’s shriek repeated in his mind.

Eventually the burning stopped and he looked down at his hands, they were clear, not a lavender in sight.

But he knew what the appearance of the flowers meant, Katara was his soulmate and he had hurt her.

Before running from the camp he asked Jeong Jeong what lavender meant.

“It means distrust young Avatar.”

That night Aang vowed to never fire bend again, he couldn’t risk losing her faith.

_______________________

While at the Northern Air Temple Sokka scoured the mechanist’s library for a book on soul flowers, he couldn’t stand knowing who his idiot jerk of a soulmate was without knowing what the flowers meant. Probably evil or cruelty or something Jerk worthy.

"The Purple Hyacinth: Can be interpreted as your soulmates Sorrow, often the words “I am sorry. Please forgive me.” Were said when the soul flower appears.”

Sokka sat heavily on the floor, the new information swirling around his mind. Zuko was begging for forgiveness when someone burned his face. A child was asking for forgiveness and someone decided to burn him instead.

He swallowed a lump in his throat.

Okay yes Zuko was a jerk. A jerk who through him into the snow when they first met and has since chased them around the world throwing fire at them. So a bad guy, AND a jerk for not even mentioning the obvious flowers across Sokka’s face that matched his own scar.

But no deserved that. Especially if they were saying they were sorry, and it was obvious by the flowers on his own face that Zuko had truly meant his sorrow.

Still his enemy though, so he couldn’t think on it for too long. And he couldn’t tell his friends what they truly meant.

_____________________________

Only a week later Sokka woke up with a start thinking he had fallen off of Appa and hit the ground. His body ached and burned and for a moment he worried over the angry Prince.

In the morning the sharp pains had eased to be a dull ache and the snapdragons scattered across his body faded, the closer they got to the Northern Water Tribe.

Once they arrived one of the elders noted the snapdragon across his cheek and complimented him on his soulmates grace under pressure and inner strength in trying circumstances.

He wondered what Zuko could have done to earn those.

_____________________________

Sokka meeting Yue - falls into the canal hurts himself - Zuko gets a Daffodil - regard, respect, chivalry, unrequited love, symbolic for the power of inner beauty

When Sokka loses Yue he gets hurt in the same spot and so covering the Daffodil on Zuko is a White tulip - forgiveness, lost love

_______________________

Aang in the catacombs gets struck by lightning - White Lotus flower on Katara - purity, enlightenment, self regeneration and rebirth - he let go of Katara and reached the full avatar state

Maybe the one on his foot could be different? A secondary emotion

_______________________

Zuko final Agni Kai taking the lighting for Katara - Sokka gets a White rose - I am worthy of you OR Pink carnation - I will never forget you OR Purple columbine - resolution OR Edlweiss - courage devotion (lot’s to pick from)

______________________

One day when they get married they prick each others thumbs (like hand fasting) to show the whole world the true intent of their marriage.

On Zuko’s thumb (meaning Sokka’s intention) - Camellia blue - you are the flame in my heart

On Sokka’s thumb (meaning Zuko’s intention) - Violet purple - you occupy my thoughts, blue love

_________________________

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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THE CUSTOMER SUPPORT PEOPLE TIED FOR FIRST PRIZE WITH ENTRIES I STILL SHIVER TO RECALL

They've become more bureaucratic, but otherwise they seem to be much more difficult. Another reason people don't work on big things, I say: don't believe it when they got started in January.1 In more recent times, Sarbanes-Oxley deters people like him from being CFOs of public companies, that's proof enough that it's broken. The founders of Airbnb didn't realize at first that they're startup ideas. You have to use Java. Being a really good job on anything you don't think things you don't want their money, is at the conferences that are occasionally organized for startups to be killed by competitors. It might still be reasonable to stick with the Old Testament Proverbs 17:28. The saddest windows close when other people die. These ideas didn't just seem small. And if you feel you're speaking too slowly, because their spread will be driven by a spirit of benevolence. If I had a design philosophy. Your old bad habits now help you to understand your users.

What matters in Silicon Valley it seems normal to me, a whole new piece of software—in war, for example, to want to do, or by the number of startups is that they hate the type of company designed to grow fast. Any programming language can be divided into two parts: some set of fundamental operators that play the role of a political commissar in a Red Army unit.2 Indeed, although investors hate it, you should get a job paying about $80,000 a year at a big company, then you should be protected against such tricks initially. We're all trying to de-emphasize search? In most, the cause of the 1929 crash. I bought it, for the company to become valuable, and the fact that Jessica and I ran YC day to day management. You're just looking for things we can't say: to look at users.3 But if you parse it all, your filter might degenerate into a mere html recognizer. Why would they go to college still matters, but not powerful.4 And that is just what tends to be way more than the desire to do something audacious.

But what is a novelist to do? Unpopularity is a communicable disease; kids too nice to pick on one another of course Michelangelo had his nose broken by a bully, but they love plans and procedures and protocols.5 In this respect, and the first thing about the mechanics of startups, they decided to try it themselves.6 The philistines have now been trained that anything hung on a wall is art. It's much better than Microsoft today. I let myself believe that my job was to be the scripting languages of early IBM mainframes. Human Knowledge another shot in college. In fact, don't even ask for their email address unless you need to attract. It will actually become a reasonable strategy or a more reasonable strategy to suspect everything new. Ruby on Linux.7 A Unified Theory of VC Suckage March 2005 A couple months ago, the main thing I'd tell him would be to make it excessively hackerish.8

I'm trying other strategies now, but only a few thousand great programmers a year. Credit card debt is a bad data point.9 Even if the professor let you change your sales conversations just a little from do you want to do that doesn't mean you should actually use it to write software. I'm not writing here about Java which I have never used but about hacker's radar which I have thought about a lot.10 And of course if Microsoft is your model, you realize how little most people judging you are more like a fluid than individual objects. For a given total amount of pain, raising money, raising money, and so on. If they get confused or bored, they won't tell you them. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, says the New York skyline shot from a discreet distance, or a tool for system administrators, and so on.

The fact that super-angels would quibble about valuations. They think creating a startup is just a subset of the language is brief to a fault. Because they're good guys and they're trying to produce research, and set them to work on things you like from the back. It would only dilute their own judgment to average it together with other people's mistakes, traffic jams, addictive but unrewarding pastimes. So if some friends want you to sell them the company is their project. A novice imitates without knowing it. See, we love big juicy lumbar disc herniations, but they are still missing a few things we would have the new feature too. Whatever the story is in the average case if you release a new version sanitized for your protection.11 Made Lisp Different December 2001 rev.

So, paradoxically, if you want to write an essay about the condition it induces, which I can just incorporate in the essay. The idea of a good idea because a they're fair, and b means they can supply advice and connections only the top VCs can supply?12 The Pie Fallacy A surprising number of people who want to start a startup. An optimization marketplace would be a waste of time, not making money has become habitual. The more ambitious merely hoped to climb the same ladder faster. Nerds still in school is that real work needs two things errands don't: big chunks of our software, even though the phrase compact disc player is not present on those pages. Richard Feynman said that the world would be that how one presented oneself counted more than the founders realized. Many famous works of art are unfinished. Either your site is about.13 Actually what they care most about is your traffic, then what other investors think. '', I look for probabilities for Subject free'', free!

Notes

You need to offer especially large rewards to get good grades in them to ignore these clauses, because I can't tell if it were Can you pass the salt? Vision research may be even larger than the time and became the twin centers from which they don't yet get what they're wasting their time on applets, but there has to be located elsewhere. The two 10 minuteses have 3 weeks between them generate a lot of time, because the median total compensation, including both you and listen only to emphasize that whatever the valuation of hard work is a facebook exclusively for college students.

Innosight, February 2012. The solution for this at YC. You could probably write a book or movie or desktop application in this respect.

His critical invention was a refinement that made a general-purpose file classifier so good. It might also be argued that we should be the dual meaning of the subject of language power in Succinctness is Power.

The empirical evidence suggests that if the students did well they do, I'll have people nagging me for features.

Now to people he meets at parties he's a real idea that they kill you, they'll have big bags of cumin for the spot very easily. I'd take an angel.

There was one of the first half of it in B. They're often different in kind, because you can talk about the details.

Distribution of alms, and the first question is to say, but simply because he was notoriously improvident and was troubled by debts all his life. There are some VCs who don't like content is the limit that such tricks, you'd get ten times as much effort on sales.

8 in London, 13 in New York. As I was a special name for these topics. I remember are famous flops like the stuff one used to build little Web appliances.

Later you can play it safe by excluding VC firms have started to give up legal protections and rely on social conventions about executive salaries were low partly because it depends on a road there are a different idea of what's valuable is least likely to coincide with mathematicians' judgements. Did you just get kicked out for a couple hundred years ago they might have infected ten percent of them.

Macros very close to the margin for error.

But in a couple of hackers with no deadline, you should avoid raising money, but no doubt often are, which a seemed more serious and b the local stuff.

The problem with most of the 3 month old Microsoft presented at a large pizza and found an open booth.

Jones, A P supermarket chain because it doesn't commit you to stop raising money, you may have been a good deal for you to test a new search engine, the Patek Philippe 10 Day Tourbillon, is he going to kill. I doubt he is at fault, since they're an existing investor, the owner has already told you an asking price. Is this unfair?

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aleteia-ff · 4 years

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A Decade To Find You - Part 5

Also Read On: AO3 | FF.net

Thank you all for sticking with this story! Here’s the final installment <3

December 31st, 2019 | Part 2

The main conclusion Astrid had drawn in 2019 was that Hiccup still lived underneath a social media-less rock. So while she now had two things to apologise for, she couldn’t get in contact with him, no matter how hard she tried.

She wanted to say sorry for still not having called him. And for making him think she had moved on. Because while she had attempted to, while she had thought that simply having fun with one of her colleagues wouldn’t hurt, it wasn’t true. The moment she had seen Hiccup, she had wanted to run to him and apologise. But he’d cycled away, and by the time she’d convinced Eret to go after him, they couldn’t find him anymore. Eret had been awfully sweet about it, had told her that she had made it clear enough that they weren’t serious. And that he’d gladly help her work out some of her frustration at the gym or the shooting range instead.

Hiccup was the reason she’d taken Eret with her that night in the first place, after all. Because the closer they had gotten to the New Year’s Eve of 2018, the more she had started to dread the thought of seeing Hiccup with his girlfriend again. After all, she hadn’t been able to stalk his Facebook and see if they had broken up in the meantime. Bringing someone else with her was the only insurance she could give herself against being humiliated again. That, or staying home altogether. And she wasn’t going to let herself be that easily defeated.

It had been uncannily desperate, given that ever since she’d lost Hiccup’s number, she hadn’t concerned herself with dating at all. Sure, the police academy kept her busy, although she still had time for it if she wanted to. But she found she simply lacked the interest. She didn’t need it. She’d been feeling good about herself, and now that she had gotten a better idea of the downsides to becoming a police officer, she still didn’t have any regrets. Because while she’d fallen out of love with medicine for exactly those mundane, “this is what you will actually be doing on a daily basis” reasons, she found herself loving this job in spite of those things.

She finally felt like she’d found her place. To the extent a 26-year old could, she supposed. She was, at the very least, no longer worried about whatever came next.

Which is why it was even stranger that she still couldn’t get Hiccup out of her head. And that this year, she had headed to the centre of town with more confidence and purpose than she ever had before.

She was going to find him tonight. And no matter the circumstances, regardless of what would be thrown in her way, she would finally apologise to him.

After all, as practical as she was, she also couldn’t ignore the way in which nearly every blog or Instagram page shoved this year being the last of the decade right in her face. And while she wasn’t superstitious, and she believed in hard work rather than fate, she also couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that if she didn’t go out tonight, on the last day that belonged to the ten years in which she’d experienced so much, growing from a teenager to someone that she would sort-of call an adult… That after this decade, which had started with Hiccup, she wouldn’t get the chance to see him again.

And even if that was her just reading too many self-indulgent Soulmate AU fanfics of The Witcher, she didn’t really care anymore. Because that was also the agreement she’d made with herself. She was allowed to try for one more day, to finish off the decade and go full circle. And if it didn’t result in anything, then that was fine. She would simply let it go, Frozen-style.

But she could still hope, right?

So she’d put on her favourite leggings and skirt, topped off by a warm sweater that was both comfortable and accentuated her figure, the front parts of her hair pulled back into a loose bun while the rest hung loose down her back. No pretence. Just her, the way she wanted to be seen.

A few hours before midnight, she parked her bicycle in the street Hiccup had spotted her in the year before. She ventured into town, intending to start in the centre squares and end up here at the end of the night.

Or perhaps not. She hoped not.

While she’d changed a lot over the past ten years, Berk still felt remarkably similar. The stalls of the winter market hadn’t stopped selling the kind of items no one really used, although there were remarkably more smart phone cases. While some of the bars had changed, their spirit, many of them proud rip-offs of “Viking culture” and serving pints to match those ideas, had remained.

If someone had asked for her opinion on that rigidness when she was 16, she would have called it boring. Would have reassured anyone that she would leave Berk as soon as she could, and that she would never look back. And now she was here, noting to herself that his would likely be one of her last New Year’s Eves as a civilian instead of on duty. She was looking forward to it, to be done with training and start actually serving. But it was also yet another reason for her to track Hiccup down this year.

Now if only he would show himself, that would make her life a lot easier.

She stopped by every place she had seen him at since the moment they’d met. The hot chocolate stand by the river, where people were already trying to secure the best spot to watch the fireworks show. The ice skating rink in the centre, lacking a cute lanky guy stumbling over his fake foot. The street on which Hiccup had charmingly hurled his guts into the snow. The club where she had kissed a random guy for him to see, now embarrassingly empty because it was only just past 10 PM. The corner cafe he’d been sitting at with his friends, perfectly showcasing how handsome he’d become. The bar she’d seen him sitting in behind the window, making her want to hug him because he’d looked so beaten down by the world. Gruffnut’s Grunge Grotto, surprisingly still open, where she had walked away from him after he’d rejected her the year before. The site of their fateful meeting in 2016, when the stars had finally aligned, albeit only temporarily.

Until she finally reached her bike at 11 PM, coming up empty-handed.

But she refused to let that be the end of it. It was very likely that if he was indeed here, and she wanted to believe he was, that she had simply missed him. Berk was still a sizable town, after all. She had to scan the streets better, practice her surveillance and stake-out techniques, go into more bars because it was cold and most people were inside.

She had to try harder.

Because with one hour left on the clock, one hour until everyone else would celebrate the start of the new decade, she didn’t care anymore about what other people thought, or how desperate and downright crazy she’d become. After all, it simply felt like the right thing to do. To find Hiccup. And finally, truly, scratch that itch that had been bugging her for so many years.

And she couldn’t shake the simmering panic caused by the notion that this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. That she should have seen him already, because time was running out. That if she didn’t find him now, before midnight, that the spell would be broken.

So she quickened her pace as she made another round, checking her phone more often than she should.

23:07.

23:16 and a message from Heather, asking her if she’d gotten lucky yet.

23:18.

23:21, Heather telling her what bar she and Dagur were at, in case she needed a break.

23:27.

Then she glanced back up from her phone, and behind the glass window of an Irish pub, she finally caught a glimpse of a familiar face.

It wasn’t Hiccup. But she supposed it qualified as the next best thing.

She rushed inside, pushing herself through the crowd until she reached him, the dark-haired over-dramatic diva who had punched Dagur three years ago, adrenaline and hope coursing through her veins.

She tapped his shoulder a little more urgently than strictly polite, and she wasn’t surprised when he turned around, clearly agitated, only for his eyes to open up in surprise when he took her in.

“You!” he stammered. “I know you!”

“Yes, I’m -”

“No, don’t tell me,” he stopped her, putting up his hand. “I got this.”

“I never introduced myself to you, so it’s -”

“Oh, I’m aware.” Hiccup’s cousin rolled his eyes. “You’re the bitch who never called Hiccup.”

She clenched her jaw, exasperated. “Excuse me?”

“Look, honey -”

“It’s Astrid, actually.”

“Okay fine, “Astrid”,” he sighed, gesturing with his fingers to put her name between quotation marks. “We can keep pretending I don’t know what you did, but I do. You told him you would call, and you didn’t. So obviously you think my cousin’s not good enough for you, which means I -” He gestured to himself despite the fact that he was clearly smaller than her, and that she’d proven she could kick his ass before. “- have nothing more to say to you.”

“My phone broke,” she hissed between her teeth, counting to ten in her head and repeating all anger management techniques they’d taught her at the academy.

“Oh,” Hiccup’s cousin stammered.

“And that’s your fault,” she stressed, pointing at him. “If you hadn’t started a fight with Dagur, I wouldn’t have fallen, I wouldn’t have lost Hiccup’s number, and I actually could’ve called him. And since he doesn’t know what the word ‘social media’ means, I couldn’t exactly contact him in any other way.”

“He has LinkedIn,” Hiccup’s cousin shrugged.

“Where he probably doesn’t use the name ‘Hiccup’. And that’s the only name he gave me,” she clarified.

“So now you’re here talking to me because…?”

“I’d like to explain to him what happened, because I never got the chance to. Is he here too?”

“No.” Hiccup’s cousin shook his head. “He stayed home.”

Her heart dropped.

He’d stayed home.

He’d given up.

But she couldn’t.

“Do you think he’d want to come out after all…?” she tried. “If you text him?”

“I doubt it.”

No, no, no.

“And if I call him? Finally?”

Hiccup’s cousin pulled up his eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t have his number.”

“You could give it to me,” she proposed. “Along with your own name, as a back-up. Because you do look like the type with an Insta profile.”

“Girl, you have no idea how many followers I have. Look for Snotlout Jorgenson -” She cocked her head at him, and he rolled his eyes in response. “No, that’s not a stage name or an alias, it’s my actual godsdamned name. You see, my family, it -” Snotlout paused, put up both of his hands and took a deep breath, shaking his head at no one in particular. “No, this is not about me. It’s already the Snotman-show every other night of the year.”

“So you will give it to me?” she asked, only realising her phrasing-failure when Snotlout gave her an exaggerated wink.

“Anytime.”

“Ew.”

Snotlout put his hand on his chest, gasping. “So rude. I don’t even know if I should help you anymore.”

“Oh, come on,” she groaned, getting her phone out of her shoulder bag and checking the time.

23:35.

Time’s running out, Cinderella.

“What’s in it for me?” Snotlout dared to ask.

“You’re helping out your cousin?”

“Am I, though?” Snotlout clacked his tongue. “Only thing I know about you is that you stood him up last time. How do I know you won’t do the same again?”

“Because I’m promising you I won’t,” she stressed, hating how begging she sounded. “And you have my name, you can track me down if I don’t keep my word.”

“Not enough.”

“Then what else could you possibly want from me!?”

“I…” Snotlout continued, smirking as if things were finally coming together. “… will give you Hiccup’s number, if you…” He got his phone out of his back pocket at the lowest speed humanly possible. “… send me the contact details of the cute redhead you were with three years ago.”

“Cute redhead?” She frowned, mentally going over her female friends. She hadn’t been with any of them three years ago, not yet at least. It had just been Hiccup, and… “Wait, Dagur?”

“That’s his name?”

“Dagur, the one you punched in the face because he came up to you and called you, I quote, ‘a snack’? That Dagur?”

Snotlout’s eyes lit up. “Yes, that’s the one!”

“Are you sure? The guy who broke your nose?”

Snotlout put his phone to his chest, dreamingly staring out of the window. “I can’t help but think of him every time I sneeze.”

“Then why did you punch him in the first place?” she groaned through gritted teeth, stuck between wanting to leave as soon as possible and getting to the bottom of this because it was just so thoroughly, completely weird.

“I just wasn’t… in that place, at the time,” Snotlout murmured, barely audible above the pub’s crowd. He looked down at his feet, as if he were actually embarrassed. “One hundred percent convinced I was straight, lashing out against anyone who dared to suggest anything else because I happened to be into theatre and musicals, and my Chris Hemsworth posters were hanging next to my favourite characters from Glee.” He rolled his eyes. “My friend Ruffnut sent me a collage of articles on toxic masculinity as a joke birthday present that year. Turns out they were actually quite useful.”

“Wow.”

“I know, self-insight is truly indescribable,” Snotlout nodded to himself.

“Okay…” She took a deep breath. “I can’t give you Dagur’s number without his consent, -” Snotlout was visibly about to protest, but she put up her finger. “But I can tell you where he is right now, and you can make it up with him and ask him yourself. Deal?”

Snotlout mulled for a bit, then swiped around on his phone and showed her the screen. “Fine.”

Contact details, belonging to ‘Cousincup’. Accompanied by a series of vaguely familiar numbers.

She quickly copied it, double checking whether she had done it right at least three times before telling an increasingly impatient Snotlout what cafe Dagur was at. They left the pub together and she thanked him, dialling Hiccup’s number as soon as Snotlout walked away, her heart beating in her throat.

It rang once…

Twice…

Another time…

Until she finally heard a light beep, and rustling on the other side. “Hello?”

It was him. The slightly nasal yet adorable voice was unmistakably, wonderfully his.

“Hiccup!”

“Yes… Who’s this?”

“It’s Astrid.”

“Oh…” Hiccup stammered. “Oh.”

“We talked three years ago, at the market, and you gave me your number,” she rattled, suddenly nervous. “I fell on my phone when trying to break up the fight, and it broke, so I lost it… I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Hiccup mumbled, sounding awfully distant. “But then how did you -”

“I ran into your cousin just now,” she explained. “Snotlout. He gave it to me.”

“I see.”

“He’s quite the spectacle,” she joked, hoping to get a smile, anything.

“Yeah, I suppose my condolences are in order,” Hiccup chuckled, finally.

“They’re very much appreciated,” she smiled.

A silence followed, and she cleared her throat. “Look, Hiccup, I’m really sorry about what happened three years ago… I tried to track you down on social media, but I couldn’t, so I just… I just wanted to ask if you wanted to meet up tonight after all.”

It took a moment for Hiccup to respond. “I can’t.”

She hardly registered his next words, too overwhelmed by her heart being thrown off a cliff and dropping straight into a canyon at least as deep as the Mariana Trench. “I can’t leave my dog alone tonight.”

“Oh…” was all she could give him, because this was not how this was supposed to go. With only twenty minutes left in the decade, her normally quick mind shut down.

Say something, Astrid, anything. Ask him to go get coffee tomorrow, or the day after, or just sometime.

“But you could come over here if you’d like to?”

She was dumbstruck for a moment, wondering if that question had just been a fragment of her imagination. But as soon as she registered it, she didn’t hesitate to answer. “Yes!”

“Really?” Hiccup sounded more surprised than she was. “How much time do I have to tidy up?”

“That depends on what your address is.”

“Right. Addresses. Very useful for people who want to… go to places.”

She could hear the voice of Chandler from Friends in her head. Could he be any cuter?

“Chief’s Drive. Number three,” Hiccup completed.

She put him on speaker phone and quickly pulled up Google Maps. She didn’t know the street itself, but recognised the area. Exactly on the other side of town from where she lived. No wonder they’d never run into each other.

“Maps tells me it should be like 10 minutes by bicycle.” She checked the time. 23:42. Her heart jumped. “So I’ll be there before midnight.”

“Be careful, though. They’re pretty sloppy when it comes to salting the roads over here.”

She started walking, her bike only a block or two away. “I’m Berkian, I think I can handle it.”

“Of course you can,” Hiccup laughed.

“So I’ll see you there,” she smiled, not quite believing this was actually happening.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too.”

With that, she hung up, and started sprinting. Because she’d been offered a second chance, and she was holding on as tightly as she could.

---------------------------

“Oh Gods, oh Gods, oh. Gods.”

Hiccup had not been joking entirely when he’d asked Astrid how long he had until she arrived. While he was normally quite happy with the way he maintained the house, the thought of Astrid Hofferson coming over suddenly made the whole place seem like an exploded mess and entirely dog.

Toothless watched him with big, questioning eyes as Hiccup rushed around, stuffing doggy toys and blankets in random cupboards, closets, or simply underneath the couch, but didn’t seem to intend to help Hiccup out in the slightest. Pretending he wasn’t the one who had made the mess in the first place. Instead, Toothless simply laid down on the couch - where he knew he wasn’t allowed without Hiccup explicitly saying yes - giving Hiccup a look that clearly said ‘what are you going to do about it, you desperate mess?’.

Hiccup himself was wondering exactly the same thing. He didn’t know why he’d even popped the question.

You could come over here if you’d like to?

Of course he was lying to himself, because he actually did know. He knew that despite him repeating to himself time and time again that he didn’t need Astrid in his life, that he was over her, that it was all just a coincidence and that they weren’t meant to be, that he had been defeated the moment he’d heard her voice on the other end of the phone. He’d tried to play it cool, to make it seem like he didn’t care, so he wouldn’t get caught up in this again. But it’d only taken a few minutes before he’d completely crumbled.

Toothless was right to judge him for it. But it was 2019. The end of the decade in which every year had started or ended with Astrid. And with only a few minutes left on the clock, he allowed himself to be a little superstitious.

So when at 23:55, he found his living room in an acceptable state, he simply sat down on the couch and waited, ruffling Toothless’ fur, his good foot tapping on the floor while the minutes crept by.

She’d said she’d be here before midnight. She’d also said she’d call him, three years ago. But he believed her excuse, tried not to beat himself up over not contacting her himself. He couldn’t change that anymore. But the least he could do now was believe the new promise she’d made him.

After what seemed like an eternity, Toothless started to whimper as fireworks went off outside, marking the start of the new year.

And Astrid wasn’t there.

Hiccup scoffed and sunk deeper into his seat. Of course she hadn’t come. She’d just been playing with him again.

Gods, he was a fool. He was so easy. One would think that after such a long time, after an entire decade, he’d learnt something. She’d been out of his league when they’d met ten years ago, and that hadn’t changed. Although he knew now that he did have value, unlike his insecure teenage self, he still shouldn’t have deluded himself into thinking Astrid truly liked him.

Some girls were simply heartbreakers, after all. And not worth his time.

“At least I have you, right bud?”

Toothless responded with an affirmative bark, and Hiccup supposed that for once, it wasn’t too bad that he’d have to vacuum the couch tomorrow to get rid of all the long black Labrador hairs. They could use a hug right now.

But nevertheless, they both sat up when barely five minutes, right after another salvo of fireworks, the doorbell rang.

And despite all he’d been telling himself, his heart nearly burst with excitement.

---------------------

Astrid hardly looked presentable, snow stuck in her hair and on her clothes, when she finally rang the doorbell of Chief’s Drive, 3. She cursed inwardly when she heard another series of fireworks go off in the distance, confirming what she already knew. She was too late.

What if the spell had been broken?

The fireworks were followed by a short bark, and several footsteps approaching the front door of a house that was very different from what she’d expected. She’d been looking for a student apartment, and had had to check Google Maps again when she’d finally skidded into a street with nothing but pairs of suburban family homes. Was Hiccup still living with his parents? But he had been talking about leaving his dog alone… Maybe they were out tonight?

She was snapped out of her thoughts by scratching, followed by a shout. “Toothless, down!”

Her stomach jumped at the sound of Hiccup’s voice, and completely filled with butterflies when the door opened to reveal a sheepishly looking Hiccup, his hair sticking out to the sides of his head, and an excitedly panting black Labrador.

She cleared her throat. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Hiccup mumbled, rubbing the back of his head and smoothing out his hair, making her quickly comb her fingers through her own.

“Sorry I’m late.” She gestured vaguely to her bike, which she’d left at the side of the street. “You weren’t wrong about them not salting the roads. I almost slipped like four times and had to walk for a while.”

“Are you okay?”

“I am.”

“And you’re here now,” Hiccup smiled softly, warming her heart.

The corners of her mouth pulled up at their own volition. “Yeah. Finally.”

“Do you -” Hiccup awkwardly stepped aside. “Do you want to come in?”

She nodded and crossed the doorway, only to instantly be sniffed down by Hiccup’s dog.

“I’m sorry,” Hiccup apologised. “He’s very curious.”

“Don’t worry, dogs don’t scare me. Is he okay with strangers petting him?”

“Oh, yeah,” Hiccup laughed. “A little too much so, I’d argue. He can’t get enough attention.”

She knelt down, giving the Labrador some well-deserved scratches and pets. “Did I hear you call him Toothless?”

“Yep.”

She laughed, squinting at Toothless’ jaws. “From what I can see, he does have teeth.”

“I got him from the shelter,” Hiccup explained. “He pretended to be a tough guy, like he didn’t need anyone to take him home. As I suspected, he was all bark, no bite. Hence, Toothless.”

“Why would he end up at a shelter? He’s so cute.”

Hiccup crouched next to her, pointing at where Toothless’ left hind leg was supposed to be. But instead, she only saw a stump.

“He lost it in an accident,” Hiccup elaborated before she could ask. Like Hiccup himself, she realised. “His owners didn’t want him anymore after that. Thought he’d be too much work.”

“No wonder he likes to receive some extra love.” She made a silly kissing face. “Don’t you, Toothless?”

Toothless happily wagged his tail and licked her cheek, clearly saying yes. She rewarded him with a few more scratches underneath his red collar, a dragon-shaped pendant hanging from it.

“Let me get you a tissue for that,” Hiccup chuckled, walking down the hall to what she assumed was the kitchen.

She got back up and followed him through a door into a kitchen that was more well-equipped than someone still in, or just out of college should be able to afford, connected to a horribly old-fashioned living room. Whoever did own this house was massively into timber and an embarrassing amount of tacky Viking decorations, ranging from historically inaccurate helmets to an actual longboat on display in a cabinet. The furniture was a thrown-together mix of old, Scottish-looking couches and chairs, finished off by a Scandinavian touch. From IKEA, to be precise. The seemingly only item from the 21st century was a big flat-screen TV, paused on a particularly cute shot of Baby Yoda.

“So you like Vikings, huh?” she grinned as Hiccup handed her a tissue and she wiped off her cheek.

Hiccup smiled, shrugging at his surroundings. “You should blame my dad for that, not me.”

Ah, so he was indeed still living with his parents, like she’d presumed.

“According to him, if you dive really far back into our family tree, you will find us to be actual descendants from Vikings,” Hiccup chuckled, gesturing to himself. “Which is why I look like such a warrior.”

She cocked her head at him and squinted. “I can kind of see it, actually.”

“Sure,” Hiccup snorted. “You’d probably kick my ass even harder than Snotlout’s.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that,” she teased, stepping a bit closer so he was forced to look at her. She could faintly smell him, a mixture of typical guy deodorant and something she couldn’t completely place. Which was his.

It made her want to curl her arms around his neck and get even closer. She was still kind of cold and he looked so warm, so like home, so like someone she had had to miss for way too long. How had she done it all these years, been content with only seeing him for a moment instead of every single day?

She hadn’t been. She’d been fine, she’d been good, but he looked like the gateway to great and she just had to kiss him, her eyes inadvertently darting down to his lips.

But she didn’t completely mind it when he awkwardly cleared his throat instead, because he just looked so darn cute doing it, revealing the gap between his teeth.

“Would you like something to drink?”

She didn’t comment on how he sounded slightly hoarse, and how the freckles on his cheeks now contrasted with a colour quite close to pink. She simply smiled to herself, feeling happy and so, so lucky to have gotten here after all.

“Sure. What do you have?”

“Not that much, actually,” Hiccup illustrated by pulling open a relatively empty fridge. “I wasn’t expecting guests.” He rummaged through one of the cabinets, triumphantly pulling out a brown package and waving it at her. “But of course I do have hot chocolate powder.”

“Well, it’s not real hot chocolate…”

“Obviously.”

“But I think it’ll do.”

“Oh, it will do,” Hiccup reassured her. “My culinary skills shouldn’t be underestimated.”

He illustrated his point by pulling a pan out of one of the cabinets and twirling it around in his hand, only to almost drop it. She simply chuckled and shook her head as he put it on the stove, awkwardly shrugging at her as if nothing had gone wrong at all.

She let her gaze wander around the room as Hiccup heated up the milk, her eyes following Toothless as he jumped up on the couch, and eventually landing on a side table full of picture frames. Unable to contain her curiosity and since Hiccup didn’t seem to mind, she walked over to them.

It was a collection you’d find in most family homes. They were mostly pictures of Hiccup as a child, looking a lot closer to the boy who’d spilt hot chocolate over her coat than the man currently expertly handling a ladle. Quite a few photographs featured a tall woman she assumed to be Hiccup’s mother, although judging by the clothing style, they were from the 90s at the latest. The least represented family member was a tall man, wearing jeans and a lumberjack shirt in nearly every one of his pictures.

A man whose face she recognised.

“Haddock…” she mumbled.

“Hm?”

“Haddock,” she repeated, looking back at Hiccup. “That’s your last name.”

“Yeah, Henrik Haddock, nice to meet you,” Hiccup smiled. “Did Snotlout tell you?”

“No.” She nodded at the photo frames. “I recognise your father’s picture.”

“Oh.” Hiccup frowned and crossed his arms, leaning back against the counter. “How…? I mean, where…?”

“We have a wall of pictures at the police academy,” she explained. “I enrolled in 2017, and his picture is on there…”

Stoick Haddock, fatally stabbed by an everyday mugger when he’d almost reached retirement age. That’s what people had told her when she’d asked for the stories of brave men and women in the photographs.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” she breathed, unsure of what to do with herself when Hiccup almost visibly shrank.

“It’s okay,” Hiccup shrugged. “I got used to having the house to myself.”

To himself…

She glanced back at the photos, realising why there were no recent images of Hiccup’s mother. She didn’t know if she had left, or died, and it didn’t feel like the time to ask. She’d simply been assuming Hiccup was still living with his parents, while instead, this house was simply the only thing he had left of them. The decorations belonging to his father, the old-fashioned style of furniture…

It suddenly all made sense. And gods, she wanted to hug him, hoping to somehow make up for all he’d lost.

“I’m so sorry,” she repeated once again, even though she knew her sympathies couldn’t possibly make it any better.

“So you’re with the police?” Hiccup asked, obviously trying to change the topic, his voice soft. He’d turned his back to her, focusing on the pan in front of him.

“Yeah, although I’m still in training.” And you gave me the idea to begin with.

“Do you like it?”

“I do.”

“That’s great.”

He sounded off, so off. Her voice of reason told her she didn’t know him well enough to know his ‘off’, but she walked over to him regardless, leaning on the countertop so she could look at his face. But he pretended to be preoccupied with stirring.

“Is that okay with you?”

Hiccup scoffed lightly. “Why would it matter if I am okay with it?”

She didn’t know the answer to that question either. “Because it does.”

When Hiccup stayed quiet, she continued: “You gave me the idea, actually… Three years ago, when you joked about me being an undercover cop, I kept thinking about that and it just seemed… perfect. Becoming a doctor wasn’t for me, but I always wanted to help people, and I actually really, really like this job.” She had no idea why she was justifying herself to him, but she kept going anyways. “I wanted to tell you, to thank you, but I’d lost your number, couldn’t find any Hiccups on social media, and then on New Year’s Eve 2018 I didn’t get to talk to you because -”

“Because you saw me with Cami,” Hiccup completed. “I know.”

“Are you still with her?”

He’d asked her here himself, so he couldn’t be, right?

“No. We broke up over a year ago.”

And a year ago she was… “And I’ve never dated Eret to begin with,” she implored, because he still hadn’t met her gaze again and it was killing her.

Hiccup simply nodded, sucking on his lower lip before he spoke up again. “To answer your question; I don’t think I would’ve been okay with it if you had told me you’d joined the police two years ago…”

He sighed deeply, closing his eyes. “But it’s been five years since he died, and it’s getting easier to remember all of the reasons why my dad loved his job. Somewhat. And I’m trying to be proud that he gave his life to save that woman, because I know that if he had been given the choice, even knowing he’d die, he would save her life again.” He finally looked at her, his eyes soft and watery. “And if you’re like him, then you’re simply another person to admire.”

Hiccup wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his green sweater, and she instinctively caught his hand on the way down. His eyes flickered down, and for a brief moment she was worried he’d pull away, but instead he interlaced his fingers with hers, making her heart skip a beat.

“Five years ago…” she murmured, taking another step closer. “You were sitting in that bar, and you just looked so…” She squeezed his hand, biting her lip as another piece of the puzzle fell into place. “I get why you didn’t want me to come over to you.”

“I just couldn’t,” Hiccup told her, his voice almost a whisper. He smiled to himself. “But seeing you, even just briefly, made that absolutely dreadful year a little bit less shit. It meant the world me.” He softly rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, sending shivers down her spine. “You did, somehow.”

Somehow. “Those weren’t my best years either,” she admitted, wanting to be honest with him, finally. “I didn’t know where my life was going, I was drinking and sleeping my student days away, and then I saw you at Gruffnut’s and I…” I wanted to go drag you into one of the bathroom stalls. “I just realised that I wanted to be better. For guys like you.” She swallowed, suddenly feeling awkward. She wanted to look away, but his green eyes only drew her in, deeper and deeper. “For you.”

Hiccup’s breath hitched. “So you felt it too…? Every year, every time…”

“Of course I did.” Because it was so obvious, right? In hindsight, it always had been. “Especially after I’d spotted you that year on the terrace, and you’d suddenly gotten unfairly cute.”

“After I’d seen you kiss another guy in the club the year before.”

“I remembered seeing you that year, not him,” she confessed, drawing in closer, also taking his other hand, which had stilled on the ladle. “I should have known then.”

“I should have known when you smiled at me, every time, even if I stumbled over my feet or was hurling my guts into the snow…”

“… especially since I still thought you were cute in spite of that,” she chuckled.

Hiccup laughed with her. “I’m such a Prince Charming.” Then, softer again: “I couldn’t believe my luck when you came to talk to me at the market.”

“My heart broke in even more pieces than my phone when I realised I’d lost your number.”

“I’d looked up all your socials, but didn’t contact you because I thought you weren’t interested after all.”

The confessions were just pouring out of her, with no end in sight. And she didn’t want it to end. “When I saw you with that girl the year after, I thought I’d missed my shot.”

“I figured you’d obviously moved on when I saw you on the back of that motorcycle.”

She inched in closer, looking for his warmth. “And then this year, I couldn’t shake the feeling that…”

“With the end of the decade…” Hiccup nodded, leaning his forehead against hers.

“Tonight was the last chance I had to find you.”

Hiccup squeezed her hands. “I’d already given up. I stayed home, thought I didn’t need you, that it was fine, that if it was never right before, why would it be right now? I’m so sorry, Astrid, I -”

“But I made it here,” she whispered, closing her eyes, her nose brushing against his. “I was too late, I only got here past twelve, but it still feels…”

“… right,” Hiccup completed, his breath hot against her lips.

And then he kissed her.

She had missed the fireworks at 12 o’clock, but she was absolutely sure that they could never measure up against the ones currently setting her body ablaze. The feeling of his lips against hers made her skin tingle, down from her toes up to where Hiccup softly cupped her cheek, deepening their kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in even closer.

They separated after a glorious eternity, leaving the both of them panting as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Hiccup’s beautiful eyes, his gorgeously long fingers sliding down to her waist.

“I don’t know what this is,” Hiccup whispered after kissing her again. “I don’t believe in soulmates, or meant to be, fate is a bitch after all, and -”

“Me neither,” she cut him off, chasing after his lips because it never lasted long enough, because she wanted more.

“But - and this is going to sound really sappy -”

“You talk too much?”

Hiccup’s face broke into a wide grin, and she couldn’t help but smile too.

“I’d like to take this next decade to find out.”

She didn’t tell him she wanted that too. She simply kissed him, giving him all the confirmation they had both so sorely needed for too many years.

It was obvious to her, after all.

It had taken her a decade to find him. And she didn’t want to lose him ever again.

#a decade to find you #fanfic #httyd #httyd fanfic #hiccstrid #aleteia writes #nye #new year's eve fic #fanfiction #toothless being cute #snotlout being iconic #i love them #really enjoyed working on this #modern au

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kyouxa · 5 years

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Diabolik lovers Chaos Lineage: Shu Sakamaki (Story 05)

In terms of the gameplay: The black choices lead up to a bad ending, the white choices lead up to a good ending. Please no reposting onto other sites, ask me before translating this into another language too! I’m an amateur translator, but I hope you do enjoy it anyway!♡

Monologue

Several days have passed since I came to this mansion already.

As Reiji-san said, Yuma-kun and the others seem to go to other mansions for reconnaissance’s several times a day.

Right now, Reiji-san gathered his brothers and started a future strategy meeting.

Place: Scarlet Mansion — Living Room

Reiji: According to the information we have gathered, Carla is occasionally scouting to the house where Ruki is currently located.

Yui: To Ruki-kun’s mansion?

(If they are aiming for Eve, why aren’t they looking for the mansion I am in?)

Reiji: Those clearly are unnatural movements. And maybe they will not find anything on their reconnaissance.

Yet Carla himself seems to have gone to Ruki’s mansion instead.

Yui: Carla-san himself!?

Yuma: Don’t ya think that’s weird or sum? We’d usually stupidly work together with our brothers as habit wouldn’t they as well?

Yui: (That’s what they‘d usually do but... what just happened?)

(The Orange family with Ruki-kun... besides, Kanato and Ayato-kun... there is Shin-kun!)

(Maybe his memories have returned to himself and he will go to see Shin-kun...!)

Maybe, could it be that he is going to stop the fight between everyone?

Reiji: That can not be. It seems as if Carla’s willingness to become the king is not gone.

Yui: I-Is that so...

(They can’t get their memories back easily. If it was like that, Shu-san would be already back by now...)

Shu: What? You’re looking here.

Yui: N-No, it’s nothing.

Reiji: There are many possibilities for their plan, but let us assume the worst case. Which is—

Kino: That would be Orange and Violet joining hands with each other, right?

Yui: Joining hands... ?

Yuma: Hah, for them to collide with the enemies? That would’ve cost them a bunch of thoughts then.

Reiji: It is not an impossible idea. They probably would choose any way to get Eve in their hands.

Although temporary, there is a possibility of creating a joint front to crush us together.

Yui: (If Carla-san and Ruki-kun are attacking us with their hands together then—)

(I’m getting scared by just thinking about it...)

Kino: Isn't it a bad idea for Carla to leave his mansion like that? This could be our chance to crush Violet easily.

Yuma: Yea, let’s send them a surprise attack from us then.

Shu: What will you do with her?

Yui: Eh, with me?

Yuma: Ah, if she would be kidnapped while we were away, it would mean more stress for us.

Reiji: ...We will have to take her with us.

I for myself will engage in the front. Shu, you will go in the back. I will leave Eve’s escort to you, understood?

Shu: As long as I don’t have to move, anything is fine.

Reiji: ...You are a person who is not even nervous about going to the enemies site.

I will challenge them with not only a surprise attack, but with the spirit of burying at least one or two.

Yui: (They are going to bury... that means he really is going to start killing them!)

(Not only Carla-san, in this mansion are Laito and Subaru-kun... also Kou and Azusa-kun)

(If they really keep their plan, they will start killing each other. I have to stop them somehow!)

Wait... ! Why don’t we stop thinking about the surprise attack again and rethink the situation?

Yuma: Hah? Why are ya sayin’ something like that now?

Yui: It might just be a misunderstanding that Carla-san is trying to collaborate with another family...

Yuma: Hah? Are you saying that you won’t trust the information we’ve taken!?

Yui: N-No, that’s not what I meant... !

If Carla-san moved so suddenly, it may be because of other reasons.

Kino: Heh, you really are taking this on easy shoulders.

Does that mean, you’d rather join hands with Carla than with my brother Reiji?

Yui: No, that’s not it! It’s definitely not like that... !

Reiji: Please be quiet. I do not want to hear anything coming out of your mouth again.

We are the ones with the blades. I assume you want to get out of this battle with your life as well?

Yui: Nh... that’s right...

(It’s really as Reiji-san said. Everyone will start to fight against each other. I can’t do anything against it anymore)

(But, there shouldn’t be any need for a fight in the first place...)

Monologue

While everyone's memories are weird, the battle doesn't stop trying to persuade them. And I don't have a way to regain their memories either.

I could only follow Shu-san who went to the house of Violet while chewing on myself who could not do anything.

Violet’s mansion really seemed to be absent by only Carla-san.

Four people noticed our appearance and got their weapons from the mansion.

Everyone with familiar faces glared with murderous eyes at us.

Place: Violet mansion — Outside

Subaru: You really think you can approach like that, have you come to sneak in here?

Azusa: That might be... because we don’t have Carla with us...

Kou: That's probably why. Carla-kun was also saying that. "Be careful not to get aimed at while I am absent”

Kino: I see, they aren’t as stupid as we thought. They already predicted something might happen.

Yuma: Anything we do is fine. Whatever it is it will be the same. Let's all squeeze their heads already since they are a small number with small heads as well.

Reiji: Yuma, Kino. As we planned.

Yuma: I know!

*swords clash*

Yui: (The battle has begun... !)

Shu: Hey, don’t move. Or do you want them to find us?

Yui: B-But everyone is... !

Shu: Once you come out, the trouble will increase. Reiji told us, you should hide here.

Yui: (We really can't do anything? If we may try to just change the slightest thing, nobody needs to get hurt)

(Oh ... but, maybe that’s it!)

Shu-san, vampires don't die easily, right? That means just a cut with the sword wouldn’t kill them!

Shu: Even if it doesn’t sound easy, you actually can die. In particular, we are all using silver knives as weapons.

Once you pierce through the heart, you'll die instantly.

Yui: S-Such...

Subaru: Damn... !

Yui: (..... ! Subaru-kun!?)

Subaru: Tch... for you to throw a knife like that.

Kino: It seemed that you avoided it on the verge, but I did it cut you a little.

Yui: (Subaru-kun’s shoulder, it’s bleeding... !)

Yuma: Kuku ... be ready to say your last words. Because this is your end!

Yui: (If they keep doing that Subaru-kun will... !)

Stop!!

Shu: Ngh...

*Shu grabs Yui*

Shu: Hey! What are you trying to jump out for!?

Yui: But if they keep on doing this, Subaru-kun will be killed ...!

Shu: Hah? Why are you suddenly caring so much about this guys well being?

Don’t tell me you feel responsible because they are fighting against each other? You really are a saint.

Yui: (That's not true ...!)

Choices

1) — Can't be overlooked (black)

2) — Appeal (white) ♡ ♡ ♡

— Can’t be overlooked

Yui: After all it they can’t be killed! I don't want anyone to die!

Shu: What are adding your sweet-talk for now? Even if they kill each other, this will decide the future king. It is decided like this from the beginning

Yui: That’s wrong! Everyone believes that because of their weird memories!

Shu: Be quiet already.

Yui: Wha!?

(He closed my mouth with his hand ...! Please release me, Shu-san!)

— Appeal ♡

Yui: Is this really alright for you, Shu-san? Even if someone is killed in front of you ... Yes, even if your brothers are killed by someone!

Shu: I don’t mind. It’s not necessary for me to become the king.

Yui: (No, as long as you have those strong memories of becoming the king, I can't communicate with words...!)

(But, I still don’t want anyone to get killed!)

Please, release me right away!

end Choices

Shu: Hey, stop resisting...

*Shu hugs Yui*

Yui: (..... ! He hugged me? I can't get out of his arms like this anymore)

Shu: If you don’t accept the gentle way, should I keep you quiet like this? Do as I say and be quiet now.

I won't let you get in their way, you should just quietly watch them. You better get how troublesome your acting is for me.

Yui: Yes... !

Shu: If you're going to keep resisting against me, I’ll just forcibly silence you.

*Shu gets his sword*

Yui: (..... ! His sword is on my skin ...)

Shu: Don't you want to be cut off? If you’re acting all cute, you won’t get cut right away.

Yui: Nh...

(The blade is cold .... it’s completely different from being bitten by his fangs)

(Would he really cut me with such a knife—)

Shu: Even if you accept my fangs, can you really endure the tip of this sword? If you understand, be quiet right now.

It's almost time for us to take over Violet without his eldest son. Everyone will be cleaned up from here.

Yui: ..... !

(Everyone will be killed. Even Subaru and Laito-kun)

(Because of Reiji-san’s hands .... Shu-san will lose his brothers)

Such a thing... I‘ll never let such a thing happen...

Shu: Hah? Are you still saying that?

Yui: Because it’s wrong to let your brothers kill each other like that!

Shu: ...My Brothers?

Yui: I know everyone in the Sakamaki family often argues with each other...

But, recently all of you have finally started to understand each other’s feelings.

That’s why I don’t want them to be killed! No one wants them to be killed... !

Shu: ... Sakamaki family...

???: The fact that you are flirting with another man in the enemies territorium, that really makes Eve a little bitch doesn’t it?

Yui: Nn...

Shu: Tch... !

*swords clash*

Yui: Kyaa!?

Laito: Ehh, I personally didn’t expect you to react that fast. As expected from the mansion which captured Eve.

Yui: Laito-kun!? I-In the meantime...

Shu: You've been making such a mess that even he noticed us. As a bonus, I was way too late to notice him approaching.

Yui: I-I‘m sorry...

Laito: Fufu, she even is apologizing. You've already been tamed by that mansion. I wouldn’t have much fun anymore.

If you think you’re a neat princess just because you were sleeping like one, you will be proven that inside of you there might be a devil as well~

But, I also like that kind of behavior. You just need to come over here. I’d love to play with such a cute woman a little.

Yui: Laito-kun... do you really want to have Eve for that?

Laito: Well, it’s more likely because my big brother wants to become the king. That's right, I just need to kill your guard and take you away.

Of course, as an individual, I'm also interested in you.

Yui: (So it is proven that also Laito-kun can’t remember anything... That means he also has been brainwashed with those strange memories?)

Laito: What’s with that face? Could it be that you’re lost? Really, Bitch-chan is a greedy one.

If you're worried about which man you want to take, I’ll prove that I’ll be worth it as well.

*Laito gets his sword*

Yui: (Ah ... he pointed his sword right over here)

Shu: Haa... My extra work just has increased because of you. Why did I deserve this?

Yui: Eh, I-I‘m sorry

Shu: It’s bothersome, but if you want to take Eve, I can’t just preach you. I have no other choice then.

*Shu gets his sword*

Yui: (That can’t be true ... Shu-san, are you really going to fight against Laito-kun?)

(No... this is not good at all!)

*swords clash*

Monologue

The voice that tried to scream was holding back in my throat so I didn’t make a sound.

I felt the murderousness mood around, it came from the painful air.

With that alone, my body was not even able to move.

In the meantime, the two swords continued to cross each other. Silver swords— A blade which is able to pierce a vampires skin and actually kill them.

Both of them continued to fight against each other, but Shu-san seemed to be the dominated one.

Shu-san’s sword swung down on Laito-kun’s arm and cheek, and fresh blood started to dance around.

When he was staring at him with his frozen eyes, Laito-kun started to lose his position.

Place: Violet mansion — Outside

Laito: Ngh...

Shu: That’s a game over then.

Yui: (It's settled ... but Laito-kun is still alive. I’m relieved... !)

Shu: It’s bad, but it’s an order to kill you to reduce the number of your families heads. That means, I'll end it right here.

Yui: Eh ... you can’t! Isn't the fight already over!?

Shu: ...You should be silent. This is not a normal sword fight. It is about killing each other.

Yui: ...ngh!

(Shu-san... He is looking down at Laito-kun with such a cold expression. He really wants to kill him...!)

No! Shu-san don’t kill him!!

*strange noise*

Shu: ...ngh!

Shu: What is with that sudden scenery? Fuck... at a time like this... ngh

Yui: (...Ngh, what’s with Shu-san’s state? Could it be that his limbs are hurting ...?)

Laito: ...Ngh... Fufu... what exactly are you looking at?

Shu: Kch... !

Yui: Shu-san!

(There is blood coming from his arm...!)

Laito: Haa... Haa ... Even if I want to have more fun, but beyond this, I already am passed my limit ...

Isn't it dissipating today? Well then, Bitch-chan. I'll definitely take you away next time ...

*Laito runs off*

Yui: (Ah ... he disappeared into the forest in no time ...)

(I’m worried about Laito-kun’s wounds but—)

*Yui runs toward Shu*

Yui: Shu-san...! Are you okay! ?

I'm sorry, because of me ...!

Shu: What's with that pale face...

It's not your fault no matter what you think now. It was me who couldn't stab him...

From this time on, this annoying headache will not disappear right away...

It was as if it was supposed to irritate me, so I wouldn’t be able to kill him.

Yui: Eh... ?

Shu: I don't know why, but I felt like this in that moment.

Yui: (Maybe you're trying to remember something and you got emotional over hurting someone you actually care about... ?)

*footsteps approach*

Yui: (..... ! Is someone approaching... ?)

Reiji: Shu. Apparently you seemed to have failed your purpose.

Yui: Reiji-san!

I’m glad you came. Shu-san got injured ...

Reiji: Haa... you let the enemy get away and you got yourself injured by him.

The enemy has entered the defense. We are at a disadvantage in this situation. Let's withdraw immediately.

Shu: Yes... alright. Go ahead.

Reiji: I can't help you with that injury. Let’s leave Eve’s escort to Yuma instead of you then.

Shu: ... No, I’m good. I’ll be able to take her home.

Yui: ..... !

Reiji: ...I do not mind. Hurry up so return quickly.

*Reiji left*

Monologue

Shu-san did not move for a while after Reiji-san left the battlefield.

Even if I offered him a simple treatment, he still rejected it as usual.

I thought about this while I tried to stop his bleeding. Shu-san might not be relieved that he spared Laito-kun’s life.

But, maybe he is just confused because he can't sort out that feeling he has.

I could try to talk about it with him, but I rather keep silent for my own sake.

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

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comics-mostly · 4 years

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the spirit of vengeance: part two

[Authors Note: If you haven’t read the first part (or have and forgot what happened) then essentially what happens is Robbie Reyes and his girlfriend Isabella Contreas are out on a date when suddenly they’re approached by three men who are trying to rob them. Robbie thinks that he can take them on, but, ultimately finds out that he wasn’t strong enough to take on a twelve gauge shotgun. (Go figure). The men not only take the car, but also take Isabella as well. As he lays in the street dying he is approached by a strange man who claims to be the Devil, and he offers to make him a deal - become his ‘Rider’ and he’ll bestow him with the power he needs to save Isabella. Robbie agrees and…]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Robbie Reyes was on the verge on the death. Past tense. Now, he was on the verge of… something else. To any onlookers, it would look like another life. As though he had made some sort of miraculous recovery. As though he cheated death.

But that’s not how Death works. Death cannot be cheated. But, he can be bargained with. And that’s exactly what Robbie had done. He made a deal with Death – a deal with the Devil – that had given him a second chance; a chance to save the woman he loved. And he wasn’t going to squander it. He would save her. But, once that task had been completed… what terror would lie in wait for him as the Devil’s Spirit of Vengeance?

The Spirit of Vengeance: Part 2

Robbie Reyes waited for something to happen. Anything at all that might hint at something other than the cold – or, perhaps, hot – embrace of his own demise.

The pain had now almost completely subsided, and the stars above him had become a hazy blur – as though he was peering through an out of focus camera lens. Still, he clung adamantly to life. Not for his own sake; no, he would gladly give his life (and his soul) if it meant that Isabella would survive. But he knew that, if he were to die here, then that would only serve to ensure that she would meet a fate worse than his own.

“They’ll take her and have their fun...”

Even as his body waned and his brains’ synapses crawled to a halt, the man’s – no, he was not a man; more a wolf in sheep’s clothing – voice echoed in his mind. Robbie tried to stop it; tried to push the sound of the wolf’s voice from his quickly fading consciousness, but he could not. The more he fought to shut the sound out, the louder it became.

“…and when they’re spent and she’s all worn out…”

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

Robbie knew what they would do and how they would do it; he knew how Isabella would feel during it all. The vile images played in what little remained of his conscious mind. They were not hazy like the night sky. No, they were clear; every desperate punch she threw, every scratch she left on their unmasked faces (because at this point there was no point in hiding who they were) in an attempt to keep them off of her; the way she screamed as two of them held her down, while the third unzipped his pants – a sick, triumphant smile forming at his lips; the way her face went blank as each of them had their way with her. It was all as clear as the wolf’s voice as he continued his verbal onslaught.

“…they’ll discard her with about as much decency as they have you...”

Please! No more!

Robbie could see her cold, naked body on the filthy ground of whatever abandoned building they had taken her too. Her once slender face now swollen from the bevy of blows the men – no, these were not men; more monsters in plain site – had laid across it; the bruises that had turned her caramel skin into a devastating mosaic of pain; and the crimson blood that had dried and caked against her blackened thighs. Robbie could see that her heart was still pumping, and her lungs still breathed in the stale air; but Isabella, the woman he loved, was no longer there.

She did not fight as they gathered her up and threw her in the trunk of Robbie’s car; nor did she scream through the duck tape as they unpacked her at the empty dock, near the river; she did not even register the feeling of the rope being tied around her ankles – the other side fastened to a cement block; and when they tossed her in the freezing water, he thought he could see the hint of a smile growing on her lips. His heart broke as she willingly opened her mouth and let the water invade her very being.

And then she was gone.

…is that what you want?”

No. NO. NO!

Something… snapped, inside of Robbie in that moment. To him, it sounded like the breaking of a bone or the smashing of glass.

But, in reality, it was the sound of his soul snapping.

“You’d be my Spirit of Vengeance.”

Yes. Yes, he would.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Isabella Contreas was, undoubtably, a strikingly beautiful woman. This was a fact that she was well aware of, much to her chagrin. While most women would kill for her looks, she found them to be more cumbersome than beneficial.

Yes, she could not deny the fact that she found it terribly amusing that, with no more effort than the batting of her naturally long eyelashes, she could get men (and women) to do any number of things for her – whether it was cutting the line to get into a club, or getting someone to courteously purchase a drink for her (though, she stopped that kind of behavior a few years ago, after she met Robbie.) Nor could she lie to herself about the joy she got from having so many options available to her simply based on the fact that her face and body were naturally contoured in a way that people seemed to find aesthetically pleasing; had she any desire, she could quit her job at a moments notice and promote any number of products half naked on her Instagram or Twitter.

But, despite the benefits, being beautiful came with it’s own share of problems, as well. The most precarious of which were the men. The way they’d stare at her with that lustful gaze; their tongues stroking their lips with freshly produced saliva - as if she were a gazelle, and they, hungry lions ready to pounce at a moments notice. When she was younger she enjoyed the attention; it instilled in her a warped sense of self worth. But as she got older it only served to make her uncomfortable. Especially when the men watching her with such salacious intrigue called her prima or sobrina.

Then there were the men who would want to do more than just look. Her first encounter with that came at the age of ten; years before her juvenescence blessed (or, perhaps, cursed) her with wide hips, full lips, and the long, mahogany tinged hair that had a natural, fiery glow to it when the light hit it in just the right way. The man was her Tío, Felipe, and he had always stared at her in a way that made her uncomfortable, though, at the time, she lacked the mental acuity (and sheer life experience) to place why it did. He would always ask her to sit on his lap, and kiss her on the cheek long enough for her to push him away and he would laugh and she would laugh but she never really felt like anything about it was all that funny.

His actions crescendoed during a family barbecue, when she accidentally spilled a drink on her shirt. It wasn’t a very large stain, but as she was making her way towards her Papá to have him help her, Tío Felipe stopped her and said that he could fix it; that his own daughter (not five months younger than Isabella) had some clothes in her room that she could wear. Isabella sensed that something about it felt wrong; that she should go to her Papá and have him help her instead. But she pushed the thought away – he was her Tío after all, there was nothing wrong with him wanting to help her get changed.

He led her into the empty house, through the kitchen, and up the stairs. But, before they reached the stop she heard her Papás deep, booming voice from behind them.

“What the fuck are you doing?” her Papá shouted in his native tongue. She had never heard him curse.

She turned around, suddenly filled with a mixture of confusion and fright. Was he yelling at her? Was he angry with her for having spilled the juice on her shirt?

She quickly blurted out in English, “Papá, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

She waited for a moment, but then came to the realization that he was not talking to her. His gaze was focused just to the right of her, at her Tío Felipe. She took note of the scowl that had etched itself onto her Papá’s face; with his hairless profile, coupled with all of his wrinkles, she was reminded of her best friends angry Sphynx cat that would always scratch her. She was worried that her Papá might pounce on Tío Felipe like that cat had so often pounced on her.

But why? What did he do?

She turned to her Tío but he stood frozen like a statue. She could only see the side of his face, but from what she could read, it seemed like he was afraid. Still, she was confused.

“Isabella, go outside,” her father spoke again, this time in English.

She wanted to question it, but knew that it was best not to say anything else. Whatever was transpiring here, she understood, was beyond her.

As she passed the threshold of the backdoor she heard the two yell at each other, though with them near the stair case, and the almost deafening sound of everyone laughing and playing and dancing in the backyard, it was difficult to make it all out.

“-son of a bitch. If you-”

Followed by more muffled noise.

“-I promise I wouldn’t-”

More muffled noise.

“-your fucking prima!”

“I wouldn’t-”

Then she heard a loud thump.

The thought of the cat pouncing on her flashed in her mind.

“I didn’t do-”

Another thump.

“I’m sor-”

Another thump.

And another.

Then came my Tío’s and Tía’s and Mamá.

Another thump.

A woman screaming.

Another thump.

The music suddenly stopping.

Another thump.

And another.

The sound of her father, speaking in his native tongue, clearer now that the background noise has seized, “that bastard was going to hurt my daughter!”

The rest of the day went by in a sort of haze. No one called the police or an ambulance, even though, by the look of her Papá’s hands he definitely needed one. She wondered what happened to her Tío, but after that day he left town and she never saw him again.

She remembered going to her Papá sometime after things subsided. He grabbed her and held her tight. The blood on his hands, another stain added to her shirt. He cried and it was the first time she had ever seen him do so. He held her for a long time. And then he whispered in his native tongue, “I promise that I’ll never let anyone hurt you.”

And he meant it.

The next few years of her life she spent training in Mr. Chen’s dojo – learning the nuanced art of Karate. It took time, but with her Papá pushing her (along with her naturally competitive nature) she became a black belt in less than three years – two years faster than most. And the skills she learned had proved valuable on more than one occasion.

This was one of those occasions.

As she sat in the back of Robbie Reyes’s…

Oh, God, he’s dead.

…Charger, pinned between two armed men, her mind raced to figure out how to use those skills to get out of her current situation and get back to…

Oh, God, he’s DEAD!

…him. Her mind lingered on the other reason that she hated being beautiful; (a reason she was now more than happy to take advantage of) the fact that people (but specifically, men) often, underestimated her.

It took many forms, such as with Danny Jenson, a boy in her middle school physical education class who thought it absolutely hilarious to ‘pants’ her when the teacher wasn’t looking. Well, Isabella did not find it funny. However, the swift blow to his stomach, followed by the crashing of her knee firmly against his cleft chin did manage to put a smile on her face. (It also managed to get her sent to the principals office – where the principal, Mr. Jones, claimed that she had overreacted and asked her to apologize to Danny for the attack. When she refused he claimed that she should act more lady like just before sentencing her to detention.)

As she got older she found that the world was filled with boys like Danny Jensen; boys in middle school and high school and college and after who thought it their God given right to hug, pinch, or grab her whenever they saw fit; boys who each learned their lesson the hard way, just as the Jensen boy did.

Just as these three boys would, she told herself as she shifted her eyes back and forth scanning them all.

They were all just carbon copies of Danny Jenson and Tío Felipe and every other boy who thought her weak and ineffectual; who thought she was a victim to be possessed for their own enjoyment; who thought her unable to protect herself from their domineering bravado. These boys thought themselves to be lions, and her, a gazelle; but that was not the case. She would show them just how untrue that was, if only she could keep her mind from wandering back to…

Oh GOD, he’s DEAD!

…Robbie Reyes’s bloody, half-dead body sprawled out against the cold, unfeeling concrete.

That would be the last time she ever saw him.

Her mind reluctantly held on to the memory of it. She memorized every aspect of him in that moment; from the navy Reebok shoes he wore that she had bought him a few months ago for his birthday; the black jeans that she often joked made his ass look fantastic (there was a gaping hole at the calf that had come from the initial shotgun shell; through it she could see gnawed flesh and shiny white bone all intermixed with the fabric); the once white polo shirt that was now drenched with (oh so much) blood (and a gaping hole of dull crimson and chunky meat she assumed might be his intestines or stomach or lungs or a mixture of it all); the unzipped black jacket that belonged to his father (she thought she could see pieces of it beneath all the mangled flesh); and his beautiful face (splotched with his own, slowly drying blood.)

She focused in on his face for a moment, taking note of how, even now, she found him so incredibly handsome. Robbie Reyes was, without a doubt, the love of her life. She loved him more than she even thought a human being could love another. He was not the other half of her soul, he was her soul, outside her body; and she, his. Their love was infinite and eternal; she believed that with absolutely certainty.

Had she looked just a foot to the right of him she would have seen the small, velvet box that had fallen out of his pocket during the scuffle. Within it held the promise that would solidify their love for one another for all eternity. Like their future, that promise, too, would go unfulfilled.

Instead her eyes wandered to his hand, taking note of the way his arm lifted ever so slightly, as if making one final, futile attempt to save her.

Her heart broke within her chest.

OH GOD, HE’S-

NO! She shouted from within herself.

She could not do this. She could not fall apart here and now. There would be a time when she had to deal with the death of Robbie Reyes, but that time was not now. Now she had to focus on living. Living because Robbie couldn’t anymore.

She had to live.

She resolved herself, taking into account the numerous possibly futures her actions might lead her to. She knew that it was much more likely that she would be killed before she could kill all of them, but what was her alternative? Let them bully her like Danny Jensen? Let them have their way with her the way Tío Felipe wanted?

NO.

And then, she took action.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The first thing that every human ever experiences is pain.

It is the reason why newborn babies come out of the womb hollering at the top of their tiny, barely developed, lungs – with tears streaming down their delicate, malleable faces.

They are in pain.

After what feels like eons in the Safe Place, they find themselves suddenly jettisoned out without warning. They struggle against the light of the Bad Place – using their enervated limbs to cling to walls that are working to push them out. If they could speak they would say…

no, mama, please. don’t let them take me, mama. no, mama, please.

…They try to contest the situation they now find themselves in – but the Bad Place is an unfeeling thing that cares not for the desires of such minuscule creatures.

This pilgrimage is inevitable.

And so the infant finds himself in the Bad Place. Gone is the warm, angelic embryonic fluid that had served to keep them safe for their entire existence; in its place is cold, stale (and often recycled) air and hands (often covered in vinyl) that poke and prod them relentlessly. Large fingers, or instruments, are forced into their mouths and their noses, making sure no trace of the Safe Place remains. They then drape the infants in fabrics that feel like sandpaper against their brand new, almost translucent skin. And then comes the final step, wherein they physically cut the infant away from the only source of sustenance they have ever know, ensuring that the Safe Place is nothing more than a distant, long forgotten memory.

Every human, without exception, is brought into this world experiencing the worst pain they will ever experience.

But then, they forget.

Robbie Reyes is about to remember that pain.

He will remember every painful thing that has ever happened to him.

The pain of being born; of when he was three months old and was dropped on the floor by his primo after he had had one too many drinks; of when he was only a year old and had taken his first steps, only to trip and fall and slice his forehead on the sharp edge of a table; of when he was four years old and fell off his bike, badly scrapping his knee; of when he was nine years old and Joshua Mendez and Saul Guerrero cornered him in the restroom and broke his nose after he refused to give them his lunch money; of when he was twelve years old and had made an egregious error while riding his skateboard down a hill that earned him three broken bones in his arm; of when he was sixteen and caught a football helmet to the side of his head after starting a fight with someone who had made fun of the fact that his Papá had died; of when he was eighteen and was shot in the arm during a drive by in his neighborhood; of when he was twenty two and was shot, point blank with a shotgun directly into his abdomen…

But it was more than just physical pain that he would feel.

As Robbie Reyes’s body lay sprawled out on the concrete sidewalk – moments away from his ‘rebirth’ – he felt every instance of emotional pain that had plagued him throughout his life.

Again, the pain of being born – of being unceremoniously ripped from his Mamá’s womb; of losing his dog (and very best friend) to cancer at the tender age of four; of being ripped from his Mamá again at the age of six – and not seeing her or his Papá again for two years as they made their way back to America for him; of his fifteenth birthday when his Papá died without warning on that Friday afternoon; of age nineteen, when, due to his own ignorance (and, perhaps, arrogance) he lost the house that his Papá had entrusted him with; of age twenty two, when he then lost the ’69 Charger that his Papá had left for him; of that same night, when he lost the only woman he ever truly loved…

The snapping of a soul, while sounding rather ridiculous, brings together all of the pain and individual has felt throughout their life and throws it at them not only simultaneously, but repeatedly.

It is unbearable.

But he will bear it.

As his soul tears itself in two (making room for the Devil’s guest) it releases an enormous amount of energy; enough to tear a body apart… or rebuild it.

Cells, endowed with demonic energy, multiply in a chaotic frenzy, forming flesh from seemingly nothing; the process is akin to watching a 3-D Printer work at a quarter light speed. The first organ to receive the unholy treatment was Robbie’s lungs, and through a biological imperative, his bodies’ immediate instinct is to use them. First to draw in the breathe that had been denied him for close to five minutes now – and secondly to use that same air to shriek as loud as humanely possible. Though, the sound that escaped his throat bore little semblance to anything human.

In fact, it was not a sound that could be heard by mortal ears; though, it could be felt. And every human within three miles could feel the energy Robbie was pushing out of his throat. It manifested itself in a number of ways; for the young girl skipping rope outside on the stoop of her apartment complex it manifested as a shiver down her spine that sent her running in to her mother; for the middle aged man who sat in his living room reading a fantasy novel, it caused him to check his surroundings – fearful that something sinister might have its sights set on him; for the newborn baby sleeping in his crib, it stirred him from his peaceful dreams of the Safe Place, causing tears to form at his eyes and wails to ring from his own throat.

Animals, which have always been more in tune with the unseen aspects of the world, could feel it too. Birds took flight, dogs barked ferociously, and smaller creatures, like rats and squirrels, took to their hiding spots – all fearful of the energy that was being emanated in the area.

Robbie was afraid too.

He was awake now. Fully conscious. (Perhaps too much for his own liking.)

While to any onlookers, it was clear that Robbie’s body was being rebuilt – to him, it felt like the opposite. He felt a fire forming in his abdomen – as though he had swallowed hellfire and it had now taken a foothold in what remained of his stomach. He could feel the fire spreading, working its way into his bloodstream, reducing his veins and arteries to ash. He could feel it working its way into his muscles – eating them away like hydrochloric acid. He swore that he could smell the singed, melting flesh.

His organs were next. He was aware that he had drawn in a breathe, but the cold air turned to steam in his esophagus, and by the time it reached his lungs it was literal fire. His eyes were closed but he was certain that when he let the air out he had released a fireball. He could feel the lining of his throat scorch and imagined blackened, calcine flesh – like a pig that had been left over the open fire for too long.

But all of this paled in comparison to the pain he felt in his heart – the hidden home of the human soul. While his body repaired itself – or, in his eyes, was reduced to ash – the Devil’s Guest was forcing himself into Robbie’s soul. To Robbie the pain was beyond excruciating – as if someone was clawing into his chest. But even more so, into his very being. An invisible creature, with ‘skin’ composed of actual hellfire, was working itself into him with unyielding perseverance. His soul fought against the intruder, but the human soul can only endure much before it must admit defeat…

And so, the Devil’s Guest had found itself a new home inside Robbie Reyes.

And just like that, the deed was done.

Robbie Reyes and The Rider were one.

https://www.comicsmostly.com/comics-mostly/2020/1/17/the-spirit-of-vengeance-part-two?rq=spirit

Basically only posting this here for @whistlingwindtree. Lol.

#Ghost Rider #The Ghost Rider #Robbie Reyes #Marvel #Short Stories

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dailyaudiobible · 4 years

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02/01/2020 DAB Transcript

Exodus 13:17-15:18, Matthew 21:23-46, Psalms 26:1-12, Proverbs 6:16-19

Today is the 1st day of February, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian. So, as we close a week, we begin the second month of the year and what a joy it is to have made it this far on the journey with you settling into a rhythm now that will carry us all the way through this year together but all the way through the Bible as well. And probably after a month we, you know, if…if…it's been a daily rhythm for a month we can see…we can see why the Bible matters, how interesting it is and how deeply it can touch our lives and bring truth into our souls. So, great to be here with you on this first day of the new month. It’s the same week, so we’ve been reading from Evangelical Heritage Version this week, which is what we’ll do today. And the children of Israel in the book of Exodus have exited Egypt and their enslavement and that is kind of the point at which they’re adventure begins. And, so, we are right at the beginning of the…of the next era with the children of Israel. Exodus chapter 13 verse 17 through 15 verse 18 today.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word and we thank You, we thank You for bringing us across the threshold and into the second month of the year. We thank You for the life that You've given us. We thank You for the journey that we are on together as we continue to allow Your word to speak into our hearts. We thank You for the month of January and all that You have begun to do inside of us because of that month. And, so we set our sights before us into this month that we are about to live, and we realize that we are at this threshold. In this second month that story has not yet been told. And day by day step-by-step choice by choice we will write the story of that month and we invite Your Holy Spirit to permeate it. We pray that on every page that we would write that Your name would be in every sentence and paragraph, in every thought word and deed of our lives in this coming month. May we honor You. Come, Holy Spirit we pray we pray. We love You, we worship You, we pray these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the web site, its where you find out what’s going on around here. So, stay tuned and stay connected. The Prayer Wall lives at dailyaudiobible.com. You can access it using the Daily Audio Bible app, but that is a fantastic resource if you're shouldering burdens you shouldn't carry alone or you just want to help, you just…you just want to pray for your brothers and sisters and stay connected in Spirit. That’s a fantastic resource.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well. There’s a link, it’s on the homepage. Thank you profoundly for your partnership. I am…words…words are not…I mean…words…the…I just don't have the vocabulary. I’m in awe of what God has done and I’m grateful beyond words that…that each day we can meet here like this. And, so, thank you for your partnership. So, there’s a link on the homepage. If you’re using the app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address if you prefer is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request a comment 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here next week, which happens to be tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi DAB family this is Daniel in Florida I’m calling today for prayer and healing for my marriage of 24 years. I’ve been a terribly selfish husband throughout our relationship, and I have trouble with lying to her. She is such a beautiful and wonderful caring woman. My lying is putting great stress on her and breaking her heart. I don’t know why I lie to her and is always about my things, but I know I need to stop. I need her forgiveness and I need to start rebuilding her trust. She’s the only woman I want to be with, and the one God gave just for me. I’m, self-sabotaging my relationship. Please pray that I don’t lie to her and she can forgive give me and let me start rebuilding her trust again. Thanks.

Hello, my name is Charisse I’m a woman of God and I’ve just had tragedy in my life. I’m in the hospital right now. I had a car accident on January 6th and I lost my husband. We left behind two little __ two twins nine months __ years old, nine months Augustine and Constantine and a __ is __. __ and he is such a good soul. His name is __. I had to have three surgeries. I broke my femur, ruptured spleen and my pelvis. I’m asking for strength to get through my physical therapy so I can get home to my children and the long journey of…of healing because of my sorrow. I’m only 32 years old and my husband was 32 years old also. I’m only on January 8th Daily Audio Bible and I’ve been listening for about six months now. Thank you for your prayers.

Hi, DABbers it’s Carla Jean in Las Vegas calling to thank all of you who have reached out to me and prayed for me following by call about my son Noah and my situation for the last six months or so. But tonight, I’m calling to pray for others. Brian, I heard your call about being severely depressed and having anxiety. Please know that God is not far away from you. He’s right there. Diana Davis I’m praying for you and your family. We are storming heaven for Almighty healing, and I pray for your sons as well. Harold I just loved your call. It uplifted me. It reminded me what I love about the DAB family and I’m glad you joined our family. Michael you have a daughter in Texas that has cancer. I’m praying for her as well. Heather you said you were consumed by fear that you’re so very tired. Reach out to the Lord. We are reaching out to Him on your behalf. God’s Smile I just want to thank you. Every time you call, I smile. So, thank you so much. Annette in Oklahoma City, same thing. When I hear your voice it just brings me great joy. Slave of Jesus you brought me to tears with your prayers for Diana Davis today. Thank you brother and I pray for your protection as well while you’re in the Middle East. Diane Olive Brown I know your dad’s funeral is tomorrow. Please know that I’m covering you in prayer. I love the reading that you’re going to be reading. Nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus the Lord. That’s my prayer for all of us. I love you my DAB family. Thank you, Brian so much.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible my name is Soraya and I am…I’m in __, a small town near Barcelona Spain and I am, calling to pray for Brent from Ohio and my prayer is not only for the Lord to deliver him from the addiction of pain medication but also for him to grow closer to the Lord and to find strength in the presence of the Lord. And it’s just like Psalm 121 says, that the Lord doesn’t sleep just to save you from the harsh…harshness of the sun and the moon. And I pray that you can find comfort in knowing that there is a God. There is the one and only God who watches over you and over your sleep, that He sees you, that the God of __ that saw her in her suffering sees you Brent in your addiction and your pain and may you then find courage and strength in that and the daily word to do your part. The Lord will do you His part because He is faithful, and He is good. So, I pray that you also are encouraged by the many testimonies in this community ass many of us that have overcome addiction, broken marriages, and deaths, illnesses. So, please know that it is possible, that it is possible with the grace and powerful hand of the Holy Spirit for you to overcome this addiction. This addiction does not define you, but rather you have hope in the Lord Jesus in the powerful hand of the Holy Spirit. I will continue to pray for you Brent from Ohio. Thank you and have a…

Hi, this is Rebecca from California. My sweet dad went to be with Jesus November 25, 2019. He was a regular listener of Daily Audio Bible and we had sweet times together listening as I’d care for him. And it was so many special memories listening to the Daily Audio Bible with my dad. At night when he couldn’t sleep, we’d put on the Daily Audio Bible again and we’d listen to it to give him peace of mind and just dwell on God’s word and it would often just cause him to be to relax and rest. I thank you Brian for this ministry. I continue to listen and have been for several years and I will always think of my dad and the time together. And I thank you that he’s rejoicing in heaven and that we have this special time listening to God’s word together. Thank you for blessing us with that. It was such a blessing to have you reading when I couldn’t and to have that…God’s word washing over us in the middle of the night. And I know my dad loved Jesus so much, he loved of the Daily Audio Bible, he loved the community and the Prayer Wall And, I know that many of you who didn’t know him will see him in heaven when we all get there. Thank you and God bless you.

Hi this is Asia from Chicago I’m calling in today for Brent. He called in about having pain medication addiction. So, I just wanted to say Brent, dude, it is so great that you have called in and asked for help. That is the first step in recovery, is admitting that you have an addiction. And, so, I’m so proud of you and God sees you in that and sees your heart and wanting to change. So, I just pray that whatever pain you are relieving, whatever need you have that is making you numb it with that euphoria, I just pray that you would be able to be honest with yourself on whatever deep root issue is there, whether it be maybe pain from parent or pain from some loss in your life. Your heart and your body are trying to grieve those losses and sometimes it’s so much more painful to come face to face with that pain and so we self-medicate but I promise you bother from my experience with depression and anxiety it’s only from coming face-to-face with the root problems, grieving those pains, that we are able to truly let them go and become a renewed, transformed, healthier version. So, I’m praying for you brother. I love you. I know it’s so hard. You’re so hard on yourself. Give yourself some grace and take it one day at a time. Look for resources like Narcotics Anonymous. They are such a helpful resource. So, I’m praying for you and I love you. Praying for your wife as well. This is Asia from Chicago. Love you guys. Love you Brent. Bye.

Father, empty me of me and fill me up with all that is thee the sun is shining very bright and I sleep serenely through the night every day I seek your face and ask you God to take your place as Lord and Master in my heart keeping me and sin far apart rescue me from self and stress and help me give my very best walking strong and unafraid and thanking you for all the progress made

[email protected]. Like to give a shout out to Drew from the bay area. Hope you’re still hanging in there. Know your loved and thought of and Egbert Lopez and Tracy Baker. Both of you, know you’re in my prayers daily and thought of all the time. Hope you’re all well. And once again Brian and the Hardin family, thank you for this wonderful podcast for God’s Holy Spirit to flow. Keep it flowin’ y’all. All right. Bye-bye.

Hi y’all my needs Devon and I’m a missionary in Mozambique Africa. I just wanted to thank Daily Audio Bible for what they do is help me tremendously just to be able to, while I’m out working, well I’m out you know doing…doing what I do, to be able to just listen to God’s word. So, I just wanted to thank y’all and I just wanted to ask if y’all would pray that God would just continue to move in Mozambique just the way He has been moving that He would continue to move and continue to just rain down His presence and His grace and mercy on this country. Thanks. Love you all. Have a great day.

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disasterjones · 5 years

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Jarrett. Give us the tea my dude

Jarett: Describe your worst boss or teacher you've ever had.

my time has come,,

this is obscenely long, apologies

okay so I used to work at a credit union (it’s basically a bank but they push this concept of “community” and “we’re not like the banks” except that they are, do not be tempted by their honeycomb claims, they’re as fragile as they are sweet) and I worked in the quality assurance department

we were tasked with everything from balance inquiries to opening accounts to being the equivalent of loan servicers (without the capacity to actually craft the loan agreement for underwriting, because then what would the loan officers do)

my boss, we’ll call him Bob, had two assistant managers, we’ll call them Jenny and August, who were probably the pacific northwest equivalent of Stepford Wives, with Bob being the superficially-agreeable gentleman that welcomes the unaware into the compound for assimilation

so anyway I joined this job through a temp-to-hire position and it was great for the first six months or so (as it turns out, even jobs have honeymoon periods), I made friends with coworkers, I established a presence and something of a reputation for being the friendly-and-decently-quick-learner, which I would later find out was to my detriment, because they took the “quick learner” concept and thought that translated perfectly to “teacher,” and about a year in they gave me a temp to train

the temp was never a problem, although she did sometimes like to be on her phone when we were in the middle of a call, but I’m just an employee that’s giving pointers, I’m not a boss nor am I her mother, so I don’t bother to give her too much hassle about it. she still manages to keep decent call times for a newbie and is able to navigate our systems after a little bit of repetition

this was the beginning of my issues with Bob, as he wanted me to be more strict and adhere as closely his own inflexible schedule as possible. problem is I can’t force a person to learn faster, nor had I asked for the responsibility of training someone in the first place. why hadn’t they asked someone with more experience? sure I’d learned the ins and outs of the programs okay, but i hadn’t developed the tools to quickly de-escalate angry callers yet, hadn’t even been given access to several systems I was expected to use to train this temp, but being behind was my fault no matter what I said

I’d already been dealing with some subtle snideness and condescension from Jenny and August on top of that, and it took me ages to realize it’s because I was the only person that didn’t engage in makeup culture (partially bc I can’t afford that shit lol) and that was literally the reason why: I wasn’t “put together” or “company ready,” even though I never personally interacted with members or anyone on site beyond people in my immediate department

so a year and a half of this, of subtle underhanded remarks and difficult demands, of having constant rising expectations and quotas, told at every turn that our goal is to have as many new members as possible, all the while a broken record of lie, just repeating constantly that “sales don’t matter, it’s about the community”

(EXCEPT GET ALL THE ACCOUNTS DON'T LET THEM SLIP THROUGH YOUR FINGERS YOU FUCKING FAILURE YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN THEM 3 ACCOUNTS YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN THEM A GOOD RATE ON THE NEW CREDIT CARD IF THEY JUST SIGNED UP BUT REMEMBER WE DON’T WANT TO SELL THEM ANYTHING)

finally it’s Christmas time and I’ve been busting my hump for the whole year and it’s my second year so I’m eligible for a bonus and I’m literally gonna burst I’m so happy... until Bob and Co. announce that, despite all our stellar efforts this year, despite that we are ahead of company projections by a 15% margin across all departments, despite that I personally (and by proxy our department) was responsible for the acquisition of an account worth over 1.3 million, we were told our Christmas bonuses were actually going to be a bit sparser than they were the year prior, my first year, the year I got a $75 Fred Meyer gift card in

I had been looking forward to a cash bonus and had worked my ass off for it, had been damn near guaranteed it during a number of team/personal reviews with the managers, but surprise! three days before christmas, all I have to look forward to is $50 to a place that I can reasonably get a single pair of shoes from (and maybe some socks)

it’s a month or so later that the Big Change happens, and the entire building of employees moves across town to a new location. some people get let go in the shuffle, including one of my close friends I’d met there. financially stressed though she was, I could see how much happier she was to be out of that place, and I started to get inklings of leaving as my mental health began to deteriorate. another result of this change is that the parking availability for employees is cut down to a third of what we used to have, except it’s even less because most of the spots at the new building are intended for members, so everybody’s carpooling or riding bikes or bussing

side note: carpooling is all well and good in a green initiative, but do you have any idea how difficult it is to coordinate more than two people for a carpool? either you can make us carpool or you can have us in on time, you can’t have both

a bit of advice for anybody new to the job circuit or who might have trouble deciphering “appropriate” social gestures: no matter how open they say you can be, no matter how friendly or amenable they appear to be to mental health struggles, don’t fall for that trap and think you can show any moment of weakness. it’s true that not everyone will react the way my managers did, but don’t take the chance if you can help it. on the surface, they understood. on the surface they said they were with me.

i would go on to walk in on those same people mocking my symptoms and talking about how it can’t be that bad, that I must be trying to get attention.I was labeled unprofessional, and no matter how much they encouraged open communication and preached how “life happens and things get rough for people,” I was still an acceptable target.

so I took my complaint to HR, who at first seemed taken aback at the notion that, of anybody, BOB could be engaging in such careless and callous behavior. “Oh, he’s such a nice man! I’m sure he didn’t mean those things.” and because he wasn’t the one saying them, but rather laughing along with them, and because it was my word against theirs, it was unlikely to go anywhere

time crawls on and it’s about march or so when everything finally snaps in my brain. getting out of bed feels like selling my soul and going to work feels more like torture than a paycheck. on The Dawn Of The Day That Broke My Back, I was up and ready, out in front of my apartment and chain smoking to keep myself awake, when I realized that no matter when my carpool shows up now, we’re going to be late

I try to keep myself in decent spirits, not be a grumposaurus on the way in. I feel prepared for the day, got my coffee and my lunch in a bag and a nice outfit and I feel like maybe today won’t be as bad as the rest of the month has been, even though we’ll be late

we arrive about 10 after, but I’ve got Jenny and August’s numbers in my phone, so I’ve sent them messages ahead of time to let them know that the carpool was a bit late because traffic has been troublesome. I don’t remember how true it was, but the point is I did my part to let them know ahead of time that we weren’t no-shows, just a bit delayed. as I’m walking in (mind you, following and followed by a number of other individuals just as late as me), Bob singles me out, pointing first at me and then another aggressive point in the direction of a closed office space

fun fact: with the new change in locations, he no longer has his own office, in fact he now sits directly adjacent to me and close enough to hear me speak under my breath, something I had to be constantly aware of

he ignores the confusion on my face as soon as we’re inside and immediately begins to accuse me of slacking off, saying I’ve been skipping out on and coming late into work constantly, and I need to “get it together” or I’ll be out of a job. I try to express that I’m not trying to shirk my responsibilities, just that I’ve been dealing with a lot of personal stuff and it’s affecting my focus. He doesn’t care, his frustration continuing to escalate, and every time I offer a response or rebuttal to an unfair statement, he gets angrier and changes what he’s upset about.

Finally it happens.

“You were late! 10 minutes late! You need to be in your chair at your desk and ready to sign in and be ready to take calls BY 8:00!!”

I have grown tired of him yelling for no reason, and the backbone that had crumbled away over the last two and a half years suddenly snaps back into place hard as steel.

“I would like to know why this is all aimed at me specifically, when you saw me enter with the remainder of my carpool, the carpool that you all made us set up in the middle of construction season, which of course is happening on the only road that leads here.

“I would like to know how I’m supposed to control the environment or lives of the other people I am stuck riding with every day for this job that supposedly cares about us, even though it doesn’t seem to care about the extra expenses or time crunch we now have to endure as a result of this change that miraculously doesn’t affect you.

“I would like to know who put that stick so far up your ass that you thought it was necessary to yell at your employee about 10 damn minutes. If you don’t mind, I have a job to get to.”

And I go and sit at my desk. He fumes quietly in the office for a while before coming out to his desk, returning to whatever he was doing before he pulled me aside to treat me like a child.

Not a few hours later, I get a call from a member that had been working directly with Bob (big ordeal that needed a manager a few days prior, so he was the go-to for this particular account), and they wanted to speak with him, claiming it was urgent. I hold the call and stand up, trying to get Bob’s attention quietly since there’s other calls happening around me. I call his name quietly, saying “phone for you, it’s [member’s name]” but he doesn’t seem to hear me because he doesn’t respond. So again, I whisper his name, this time leaning more towards him to hopefully catch his eye with the movement, but he cuts me off before I can get the member’s name out

He starts yelling. Like, at the top of his voice, yelling. In a small room, to a person less than 5 feet away, audible to everyone both on a call and not (I would later find out it was also audible over the phone! a member asked what the yelling was about. but I’m the unprofessional one)

“CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY? WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO BOTHER ME WITH CAN WAIT. GET BACK TO WORK.”

The resolve I’d summoned earlier didn’t stay with me, and this was the final straw. It’s one thing to be berated to and humiliated one on one, it’s another to be on the receiving end of it in the presence of 20 other people. I get back on the phone and tell the member, “I’m very sorry, he’ll have to return your call. He’s unavailable at the present.” and hung up, because I was about to cry and I needed to get out. I log out of everything, lock my computer, pick up my belongings and wave to one of my carpoolmates as I walk out and down to HR

they wound up convincing me to stay for a few more weeks, especially after they fired Bob (who it would turn out was going through a divorce, his second in four years, and I just happened to be the punching bag he needed that day), but eventually I left and never went back

[ Critical Role Ask Meme ]

#anon #asks #gif #prompt #god i haven't thought about taht in years #its still so vivid though

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lovehaswonangelnumbers · 5 years

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New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/messages-from-the-angels-forgiveness-equals-freedom/

Messages from The Angels ~ Forgiveness Equals Freedom

By Ann Albers

Today we’d like to address a topic that you are all familiar with and yet one that provides great struggle for the human heart – forgiveness.

We know that if we asked you a simple question, “Do you want to carry the pain of your past into your future?” each and every one of you would answer with a resounding “No! I wish to be free of it.”

Yet if we asked you a slightly different question, “Are you willing to forgive all those who have inspired your pain and suffering?” most of you would say, “I want to, but it’s hard,” while others would answer vehemently, “Absolutely not!”

Dear ones these questions are one in the same, for you cannot leave the pain of your past behind without the work of truly forgiving – forgiving yourself for creating or allowing pain in your life, and forgiving those who hurt you for playing an unpleasant role in the unfolding education of your soul.

Not a single one of you ever deserves to suffer. Not a single one of you ever deserved abuse. We would not wish for a single one of you to ever be betrayed, abandoned, belittled, or hurt in any way whatsoever.

We wish for you only an experience of love!

Yet for a variety of reasons, some planned before this lifetime, some purely vibrational, you have allowed pain in your lives. Some of you even planned to experience painful circumstances before birth – to understand other perspectives, to grow beyond the pain as an inspiration for others, to try to inspire love in your abusers… The list of reasons why souls choose to endure pain on earth is long and varied. Some of you didn’t consciously choose pain but simply allowed it in, as a result of a long-standing vibrational focus on unhappy aspects of human life or other human beings.

No matter what the reason, none of you ever deserves pain, unkindness, abuse, or mistreatment. You are all, without exception, always and forever, worthy of love.

Remember this a thousand times a day if you must: You are worthy of love. Imprint it on your consciousness. Dive deep inside of yourself and tell all the wounded parts of self, “I love you. You are worthy of love.” Then, free yourself from the past, through the courageous act of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is the choice that grants you freedom from your past.

Forgiveness does not say, “I condone your actions. Hurt me again please.” Forgiveness does not say, “I like you and want to be around you.” Forgiveness does not say, “I will forget what you did.” These are mistaken notions that prevent you from forgiving.

In truth, forgiveness has nothing to do with the individuals who hurt you.

Forgiveness is a courageous choice to free yourself from the energetic chains that bind you.

Forgiveness says, “I give your behavior in my past no power over my future. I am done with this pain. I am leaving it behind now and forevermore.”

Forgiveness is an energetic, mental, emotional, and spiritual choice that gives you freedom to experience the vibrations that are your natural birthright – joy, abundance, and love.

Forgiveness takes work. It takes reprogramming. It takes the willpower to change your thoughts to something more positive than the pain in your past. If you pray for the help, we can work with you, strengthen your loving energy, and assist you in releasing the programmed mental ties that bind your spirit. You may need to seek out human help as well. This is an act of self-love.

Make a commitment to yourself, for yourself, to be diligent – one thought at a time – to shift you gently and kindly towards a brighter future.

Make a commitment to yourself, for yourself, to get whatever help is needed to free yourself from the past, so you can look forward to the bright and beautiful future you truly deserve.

God Bless You! We love you so very much. — The Angels

~~~~~~~~~

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transastronautistic · 5 years

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I'm not sure if you picked your name or not, but do you have any advice for choosing one? I've been having trouble with picking one

ooooh yeah anon, i picked the name Avery for myself :D besides saying things like “don’t worry if it takes you several times to get your name right, don’t worry about what others think if you change a few times” and “try some names out online / with folks you can trust and see what sounds right” and “it’s okay if a name doesn’t feel quite right immediately; it can take a little while to get used to even if it’s the name you want,” the only advice i have for you is Nerdy Advice:

to pick my name, i looked through a site with a list of gender neutral names and i started out with a list of like 12 i thought i might like. i looked up the meanings of each of those names, got rid of like half of them because the meanings weren’t ones i felt fit me even a little bit. then i thought about things like

“will people spell this wrong constantly?” that was a thing that happened endlessly with my legal name and i was tired of it haha

“does it go well with my full name?” that’s not a huge deal really; most things “go well” with any middle and last name combo and it’s just a matter of getting used to it, but i did wanna make sure i didn’t end up with awkward initials

“does it Sounds Pretty?” i’m a big Sound person when it comes to poetry -- one of my fave poets is Aflred Tennyson and he’s the king of getting things to sound nice, doesn’t even matter what the poem is about he knows how to pick words that sound like the thing he’s discussing -- if he’s writing about a river it’ll sound like a river, ya know? so anyway yeah name Sound was even more important than name meaning to me

“does it connect to someone / something i care about?” i’m super sentimental, so picking a name that made me feel connected to one of my passions interested me. this last point is what my name choice came down to in the end:

i was between Avery, Adrian, and one other name that i’m totally blanking on right now? i went with Avery because it’s linked to the name Alfred! Avery comes from the Old French way of saying the English name Alfred; both names mean something like “elf counsel” or “elf power.” aaaaand as i mentioned a second ago, Alfred Tennyson is one of my favorite poets!!

i did a whole project on Tennyson in college, he’s one of the poets i had a special interest in for a while, and gosh personality-wise he is my fave poet. allow me a quick tangential info-dump:

he was super timid -- so much so that in Cambridge he was gonna read a thing about ghosts at the Cool Kids Club he was in but read it so quietly no one could hear him

also once he became a Famous Poet he was taking a walk on his Fancy Lordy lands and he saw in the distance what he thought was a crowd of adoring fans approaching to get his autograph and he ran away because Eek Socializing and it turned out it was just a flock of sheep he just had bad eyesite lmaooooo

he was In Love with one of the other students in his Cool Kids Club named Arthur Henry Hallam who was the Coolest of the Cool Kids, all their classmates were like “yeah Hallam is the man. he’s gonna be the most famous dude of all of us”

and Arthur and Alfred were so cute together they like. went on a top secret agent mission yes, an actual real-life spy mission together that i sorta forget the details of because what are politics but i remember it involved crossing some mountains and messages in invisible ink; these dweebs thought they were james bond or those Totally Spies gals or something

but then Arthur died super suddenly at like 22 (okay i just cheated and looked it up i was gonna say 24 what are numbers but wow. 22. that’s so young this poor baby) and Alfred was so heartbroken he wrote a big ol’ collection of poems over the course of quite a few years called in memoriam about Arthur and it’s beautiful and tragic and sweet and very very gay

“BUT NO!” cries my university professor, summoned to this post by my even breathing a word of Alfred Tennyson’s Gayness (Bi-ness more likely) “they were not homosexual together they were homosocial” -- yes professor, i know i know, your favorite Academia Term no-homo-social yes of course

“no homo” tennyson wept while writing about how his grief for arthur is like the grief of a widow for her husband; “no homo” he murmured as he worried about whether Arthur would Move On Without Him in heaven since he made it to the afterlife so much sooner than Alfred; “no homo” he signed the letters to Arthur that his son -- named Hallam!!! -- would burn after Alfred’s death so the world wouldn’t be able to read whatever totally-not-gay stuff was written in them

anyway anyway tennyson also was probably nonbinary/trans in some way, my best guess is bigender, and you can pry THAT theory from my queer dead hands, Professor Homosocial -- 1) he wrote so many poems from women’s point of view; 2) i know i once read a quote from him about how he believes poets must be both masculine and feminine in spirit in order to be good at their craft, i can never find this quote but i know. i. read. it.

um. whoops. i’m sorry anon. uh.

anyway yes, i chose Avery out of the rest of the names i looked at because of its connection to a poet i love! if there are historical figures, or mythical/religious figures, or fictional characters you really like, and you’re a big ol’ nerd like me, why not name yourself after them? you can go for subtle like i did and pick a name related to that person instead of being the exact same name, if you want.

i hope this helped, though probably it didn’t...sorry for the Alfred spam but! he’s cute!! and a good poet!!!

#chatting tag #Anonymous

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yume-x-hanabi · 5 years

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Fractured Lives, ch.2

four years overdue

Title: Fractured Lives Characters: Gaius, The Chimeriad, others Pairings: Gaius/Wingul Chapters: 2/? Summary: It won’t be like last time, Elle thought, looking at the king’s friends. They were already dead in the prime dimension, so why couldn’t she give them a second chance?

aka my “let’s save the Chimeriad” (well, at least one set of them) fix-fic, which until now I’d been unable to update because LIFE and MOTIVATION and, well, if you’ve followed me for long enough to even know this thing exists, you probably know why it took so long. Anyway, I haven’t forgotten about it, and am finally in a good place to start working on it again. idk if people are even interested anymore, i mean it’s been so long But anyway, here’s chapter two! I’d recommend viewing on external sites because Tumblr formatting is bad :p

→ AO3 (French here) → FFnet (French here)

Just like every afternoon at this time of the day, Triglav’s central station was crowded. Gaius was sitting on a bench, observing the comings-and-goings while eating a delicious chocolate croissant he had bought at one of the station’s food stalls. Now was the time school ended on the fifth day of the week—Elympions called it “sylphday,” he recalled—and the main hall was packed with students hurrying toward the platforms or taking the elevator down to the subway station. They were all impatient to go back home for a two-day break that Elympions called “week-end.” Students in Rieze Maxia also had a two-day break, which covered the first and last days of the week—in other words, the period of time when spirits’ influence changed. It was apparently Dr Howe who had proposed this tradition in his treatise on spirit artes education. According to Presa, the aim was to cut down on channeling at a time where spirits were weaker, to reduce the risk of accidents. Gaius had not immediately understood why, as he had never had any trouble channeling, whatever the day, but Wingul—who had listened to their conversation from a corner of the library—had explained that it was because he was always emitting too much mana, but that normal people, on the other hand, could feel the difference if they paid attention. At the time, he had thought that Wingul was simply making fun of him, but a recent remark from Musee seemed to indicate that he had been right after all. Unlike his two subordinates, Gaius had never really cared about the theory of spirit artes and had always trusted his instincts when he was casting spells. His artes may not have been as refined as Presa’s or precise as Wingul’s, but he had never had anything to complain about.

Gaius finished eating his snack with a smile. He often thought about his old companions. At first, remembering them had been painful. His castle seemed empty without them. His room, in particular, where he had enjoyed so many intimate moments with Wingul, now felt cold and lifeless. He had not slept well there ever since he came back from the Temporal Crossroads. But life was going on, and, with time, he was now able to think about them with a smile. He missed them all terribly, but these memories were now something he cherished.

He was pulled back from his thoughts by the ringing of his GHS. He took the device out of his pocket and opened it. The screen was showing a notification for a new message from Leia. Careful not to press on the wrong button, he opened the text message, and immediately frowned upon seeing its contents.

cya @ Luds apt asap !!!!!1!1 =O =O =O

At first, he thought that his GHS was broken, but then he recalled all the times Alvin had complained about Leia’s “text speak.” She must have sent him a coded message. If Wingul had been there, he would have most likely enjoyed trying to decipher it. Unfortunately, he was gone, and Gaius had no idea where to start. He considered calling her to ask her what she meant, but he realized that he had never called anyone by himself—Rowen was always dialing the number for him. His frustration must have been obvious, because the young Elympion who was sitting next to him while waiting for her train asked him if everything was all right.

“It’s just that thing…” he said, pointing to his GHS helplessly. “An acquaintance of mine sent me a message, but I cannot read it.”

“Let me guess… text speak, isn’t it?” she asked with a compassionate look. “Maybe I can help,” she proposed. Gaius felt she was kind of laughing at him, but he nevertheless showed her his GHS. After all, what mattered was understanding Leia’s message. Perhaps a girl her age was better suited to deciphering it.

“Oh, that’s not hard,” she told him, “It says ‘see you at Lud’s apartment as soon as possible.’ I guess Lud is someone’s name? It looks important, given the smileys…”

Lud… That was probably Ludger. And if it was important, it was probably about fractured dimensions. He hoped that nothing bad had happened. He got up and fished out a few candies from his pocket and offered them to the girl as a thanks, then walked out the station. Ludger’s apartment was fortunately not far from there, a mere 30-minute walk. On the way, he got a text from Rowen, repeating Leia’s message in correct spelling. He must have realized that letting Leia handle GHS communication was not the best idea if he wanted the message to be understood.

When he knocked on Ludger’s door, it was Leia who opened. But instead of letting him in, she went out and closed the door behind her.

“Hi Gaius. I mean, Erston. I mean…”

“Leia,” he nodded in greeting.

She looked worried and as though she did not know what to say. She was leaning on the door, her hands behind her back.

“You and Rowen texted me about an emergency. What happened?”

“Ah, well, actually… I think I should explain before you come in and…” She gestured toward the door and shrugged, an uncertain smile on her face. She took a deep breath and started talking. “So here’s what happened: Ludger and the others went to a fractured dimension. There, everything started like usual, looking for the catalyst and so on. But then, at the end, it was the same as with Milla. I mean, the other Milla, not our Milla. Do you follow me? Elle brought someone back again, except this time, it was… well…”

She did not finish her sentence and looked at him hesitantly, as if she was not sure whether she should go on. That was enough for him to understand. His heart racing, he pushed her aside and opened the apartment’s door. When he entered the room, all conversations died down.

He had gotten used to seeing them again in fractured dimensions. However, he knew that these moments were fleeting, and that they would not survive the destruction of their world. But now they were here, in Ludger’s apartment, in the prime dimension… He did not know what to think. The situation seemed so unlikely that he was expecting the world to shatter at any moment and to be pulled back to reality. But this was reality. He was not in a fractured dimension. They were there, alive, in his world. In a world that would not disappear.

Presa was lying on Ludger’s sofa, her leg bandaged. Agria was sitting on the armrest next to her, holding to her shoulder. Jiao was sitting on the carpet below them. And Wingul… Where was Wingul? Gaius looked around the room, but his right hand was nowhere to be seen. Had he not come with them?

Before he could ponder about it, Agria broke the silence.

“No way.” She started shaking Presa’s shoulder and continued in a small voice. “Presa, I think I’m dreaming. I’m seeing His Highness right there, in front of us.”

They were all looking at him with wide eyes, as though they could not believe it was him standing here before them. In truth, he probably had the same expression on his face. To his left, in the kitchen, Rowen, Ludger, Elise and Elle were looking at them awkwardly.

He wanted to speak. Say something. Call their names. Make sure they were real. Maybe laugh and cry too, but it would be unbecoming for a king to cry in public. But no word came out.

Eventually, it was Leia broke the weird mood. “I’m hungry!” she announced loudly. Everyone turned to look at her, and she reddened a bit under their gazes, but did not sway. “I’m hungry,” she repeated, giving her friends a meaningful look.

Rowen understood and sprang to action. “Oh my, it’s almost dinner time! But there are too many of us, and I doubt poor Ludger has enough ingredients in his fridge to feed us all. Come with us, Ludger, let’s go grocery shopping. I will help you cook us a little something, like one of those soups you excel at.”

“Ah, well…”

“Are you coming with us?” Leia asked the other girls.

“Oh course!” Elise answered a little too cheerfully. “Come, Elle. Let’s go shopping!”

Rowen turned to Gaius. “Please stay here and take care of our guests while we are gone. We probably won’t be back for a while,” he added with a wink.

Elle stopped before him for a moment and looked like she wanted to tell him something, but Ludger grabbed her hand and they went outside, the others following closely. When the door closed and the room was silent again, Gaius got a chair and sat down in front of them.

“So you’re from a fractured dimension…”

“Yes,” Jiao answered, “Well, at least, that’s what we were told. I must admit I don’t understand much about that dimension stuff.”

“They explained everything, but it’s a little hard to accept,” Presa told him. “We’ve lost all our marks.”

“Everything is different,” Jiao added.

“Which is proof that we are in another dimension. But I think we will need some time to adapt.”

“I understand. I imagine it must not be easy for you to be thrust into such a situation.”

Agria, who until then had stayed silent, suddenly spoke. “Is it true? Is it really you? You’re not a dream or an illusion from the bi—I mean, from Musee?”

Gaius smiled. She looked a bit shaken, but she was without a doubt the Agria he knew.

“It is really me. From the way you are addressing me, I suppose I was also your king in your dimension?” They nodded in response. “Good. This will make things easier.”

A tense silence fell over the room once more. He had so many questions for them, about the circumstances of their arrival, about their dimension, about the reason they were still alive… And they must have had many questions for him as well. After all, being taken from one’s world must not have been a fun experience. Should he tell them that they would not risk running into this world’s versions of themselves? How would they feel if they learned that they were dead in the prime dimension? Should he wait for them to ask? He did not dare speak, for fear of losing control of his own emotions. And they probably did not know what to say either. However, there was still one question he could not help to ask.

“Is it just you three, or…” He did not dare finish his sentence.

“Wingul is with us,” Presa replied at once. “He… There was a fight before we came, and he… He’s there, in the other room. That Ludger guy lent him his room. He’s just resting.”

Without a word, Gaius got up and crossed the room in a few strides. He hesitated one second before he opened the door, then entered Ludger’s room slowly, trying to calm down his pounding heart. He immediately recognized the blond strand in the mass of black hair, sticking out from under the covers. He felt joy fill his heart at this sight. The man laying on Ludger’s bed was definitely Wingul.

He silently walked to the bed and knelt down. Wingul’s face was gaunt. He was terribly skinny and so, so pale. With a shudder, Gaius recalled the year that had followed the implantation of his booster. “What happened to you?” he whispered, brushing a strand aside from his face.

Jiao, who had followed him, was the one to answer. “He had a rough year. Erm… You know, his booster. And then… Well, anyway, he’s seen better days.”

Gaius frowned. “Does he still use it?”

“Yes, sometimes. We try to limit it, but you know him, he never listens.”

That was bad news. The Wingul of the prime dimension had died because of his booster. If this Wingul kept pushing himself too far, he might end up meeting the same fate.

No, Gaius decided. Not twice. Not here.

The possibility broke his heart. It had been difficult for him to overcome the death of his partner, even if he had been expecting it in a way. And though tragic, destroying other Winguls in a fractured dimension was one thing. But watching one die here in his world was another, and he swore to do everything he could to prevent it. Even if this was not his Wingul, he was still precious to him, and he swore to protect him, whatever may lie in their future. Him, and the others too.

He would have to find a solution, but now was not the time. This Wingul needed rest. Besides, he admitted to himself, he did not really want to have to explain how fractured dimensions worked. It would be better to let the others do it. He went back to the living room, and Jiao followed him. Presa and Agria were looking at them with a questioning look.

“What happened to your leg?” he asked Presa to change the topic.

“Oh, that?” she said, pointing to her bandages. “It’s broken. I fell…”

“Yeah, right!” Agria exclaimed. Seeing Gaius’ curious look, she went on, “She flew through the air during the last battle.”

“You too, actually,” Presa retorted, irritated.

“Yeah. But I got back up no problem, unlike you.”

“I just hit the ground at a bad angle, that’s all. It’s not serious,” she told Gaius. “Leia’s a nurse—ex-nurse, apparently, Agria interjected—and she looked at it. She and Elise healed it with spirit artes. They said that Jude Mathis will come and have a look tomorrow to check if everything healed correctly, but it should be fine. I just need to rest a bit, that’s all.”

“I see.”

Gaius sat back down on his chair and decided to start addressing the main issue.

“I imagine that you would like to know how different this world is from yours, and I would like to learn more about it myself. Let us start with the bases: I am king in both worlds, and you are my Chimeriad. Is it correct?”

They nodded.

“Good. Let’s see how similar our circumstances are. Could you summarize what you know about how I rose to the throne of Ajur and how you came to work for me?”

One after the other, they recounted events from their pasts and told him what they knew of Wingul’s. As he thought, their stories were identical to his own experiences. They must have come from a dimension that had followed the prime closely for many years. He would have to ask Ludger more details about its coordinates and the catalyst they had fought. The divergence most likely lied in recent events, after their meeting with Milla and Jude, as they seemed to know them. History must have started changing during the battle of Fezebel, he thought while looking at Jiao. The big man had been the first of the Chimeriad to sacrifice himself, and his presence here today was proof of the difference between their dimensions.

“What happened during the battle of Fezebel?”

“Well, like we just said, a tsunami totally swept over the battlefield.”

“I think he means the most recent one, Agria,” Presa corrected, “the one against Nachtigal. Is that right, Your Highness?”

“Yes. In this world, we fought against Rashugal’s army and took control of the Lance of Kresnik, which Milla Maxwell wanted to destroy. Is it the same for you?”

“It is so far, but after the fight against Maxwell, strange things started happening.”

“Was the Lance activated?”

“It pierced a hole in the sky!”

“Then Elympion soldiers invaded and attacked our troops,” Gaius concluded. It was what had happened next that he was curious about.

“I can’t believe it. It really feels like we are talking to our Gaius. All our memories are the same,” Jiao said with emotion in his voice. Gaius did not comment on that, as he knew what he would eventually have to reveal to them.

“How did you overcome their assault?”

“You know Ivar, Maxwell’s handmaid or whatever? That moron created a diversion to allow her to flee, and we took the chance to get away too. Foolish bastard. But at least he was useful.”

“Agria, show a little more respect. He gave his life to save us.”

“Ivar sacrificed himself?”

That was unexpected. So it was Ivar who had saved them that day, instead of Jiao. That was a big difference, but it seemed that history had not really changed its course immediately afterward.

“We met with Maxwell in the Xailen Woods Temple… Ah, did Elympions take control of Khan Baliq here too?” Jiao asked.

“Yes. We cooperated with Maxwell’s group to take it back, then launched an attack against the enemy HQ.”

With Ivar, without you, he did not add.

“Then we fell into a trap.”

“And Maxwell sacrificed herself as well. Was it the same for you, Your Highness?”

“It was. We landed, and then had to face Musee’s attacks. She wanted to keep the schism’s existence a secret, even if that meant killing anyone who knew about it.”

“Wait a minute,” Presa interrupted. “Musee attacked you here too? I thought…”

They all looked surprised. And yet, both stories had seemed to match.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Rowen and Elise seemed to consider her an ally, so I thought she was on your side in this dimension.”

“She is on my side. She eventually joined us. Is it different in your dimension?”

“Yes, completely.”

They were looking at each other meaningfully, but none of them seemed ready to talk.

Musee… Her behavior was always hard to predict, which was probably why she was often a catalyst. If she had not joined him and shared her power with him in their world, what differences could this have caused? Had he not been able to go to Elympios? What about his conflict with Maxwell? Was the schism still intact? Had Milla reincarnated anyway? His head was filled with many questions, but he could not get any answer now, for the apartment door opened and interrupted their discussion.

“We’re back!”

The group entered the room carrying many grocery bags. The kitchen soon turned into a battlefield, with young troops that Rowen was directing brilliantly, delegating the various tasks needed to make tomato soup for eight people (plus a special eggplant one for Elle). Agria and Jiao joined the fight as well, but Leia forbade Presa from moving from the sofa. Elle entrusted her with the guard of Lulu to make her feel useful and prevent the cat from stealing any food. Gaius chose to peel potatoes with Ludger, jumping on the occasion to ask him about the fractured dimension. Ludger confirmed his suspicions and explained what had happened.

“Where is Musee now?” he asked when Ludger finished recounting the events that had led them here.

“She’s resting at Leia’s place,” Rowen answered him. “Since the Chimeriad are currently viewing her as an enemy, she’d better stay on the low for a while.”

The image of Musee lying low was rather amusing, but Rowen was right, she should avoid showing herself for now.

Agria cried in surprise when Ludger turned on the stove. This was obviously the first time they’d seen a household spyrix. There would be many things to explain… They had been ripped from their world and were now lost in a country they knew next to nothing about. At least, they were not alone, and Gaius was sure that Rowen and the others would do everything they could to help them get used to their new circumstances. They would also have to think about what to do once they were more familiar with the place. But those questions were a little premature. The priority right now was to help them feel at ease. Starting with a good meal.

“Enjoy your meal!”

“Mmh, that smells good.”

“Not as good as my daddy’s soup!”

“Really?”

“But it’s still good! You’re number two, Ludger!”

“Do you like it, Agria?” Leia asked, trying to include their guests in the conversation.

“Why are you talking to me? Last time I checked, we weren’t so chummy with each other.”

“You’re as charming as ever, I see.”

“Are you looking for a fight?” Agria cried, rising up on her seat.

“Agria!” Presa immediately reacted. “Table manners!”

Agria turned to her, a mean retort ready to leave her lips, but her eyes fell on Gaius and she froze. Blushing, she sat down and apologized in a small voice, which surprised Leia, who had never seen her act so meek before. Gaius felt his heart ache. How many times had he witnessed such a scene before, when his Chimeriad were still alive? He thought of the other Milla, who had been so different from Milla Maxwell. These Agria, Presa and Jiao, however, were identical to those he had known. It almost felt as if they were never gone.

“…us? Gaius!”

Hearing his name brought him back from his thoughts. Rowen was looking at him with a slightly worried look.

“I’m sorry, I was lost in thoughts. What did you say?”

“We were wondering where the Chimeriad could stay. Our dear Ludger doesn’t mind lending them his apartment tonight, but we should probably look for another long-term solution.”

“Indeed, we should not abuse his kindness.”

“Don’t worry about us,” Presa spoke, “we’ll find a place to stay on our own. We’ll leave as soon as Wingul wakes up.”

“With what gald?” Jiao asked her. “We lost all our belongings with our world. Besides, we don’t know anything about Elympios.”

“We should go back to Ajur as soon as possible…”

“No!” Gaius interrupted, startling them. He continued more calmly: “It would be better to stay in Elympios for now.”

What would the citizens of Khan Baliq say if they saw them stroll through the city as if nothing happened? He would have to think of a way to tell the news to the population. The list of things to do was getting longer and longer. This situation was sure to give him a lot of extra work.

“Don’t worry about that,” he added. “Taking care of you is my responsibility.”

“Your Highness…”

“We don’t want to impose…”

“It’s my job,” he insisted. “I will find us an apartment nearby.”

“Us?” Rowen pointed out, his eyes twinkling. The old man had tried to convince him to acquire a permanent home in Triglav for months. He personally did not see the need, as the city and surrounding areas were full of cheap motels—they were admittedly a bit seedy, but much cheaper than having to pay rent. However, he could not impose such a life to the Chimeriad, especially since they were so disoriented. Besides, this would enable him to stay with them.

“I will start looking first thing tomorrow,” he added.

“Don’t forget your business brunch,” Rowen reminded him. “You are to meet representatives from the Skylark Exchange tomorrow morning. I will handle the apartment hunt.”

“All right. I am counting on you.” To be perfectly honest, he would have preferred to let Rowen handle the meeting instead, but he could not go back on his word. These kinds of business talks could have an impact on the relationship between the two countries.

After dinner, he went to see Wingul one more time before leaving. The man was still in a deep sleep and looked like it would be a while before he woke up. “Convalescence doesn’t suit you,” he whispered, touching his face lightly with his fingertips. “Get well, Wingul. I want to talk to you.”

He bade the others goodbye and promised he would be back as soon as he was done with his engagements. When he went out of the building, he noticed that Elle was out as well. She was sitting on one of the little park’s swings, looking down.

“Is there anything wrong, Elle?”

She looked up at the sound of his voice, and her eyes teared up. She quickly wiped her eyes and looked down again, avoiding his gaze.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured faintly.

“Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong.”

“Ludger told me that what I did was ‘irresponsible’ and that I caused you lots of problems. He said I should have thought about what happened to Milla before I acted…” She let her tears fall freely this time. “But I thought it would be different than with Milla. I just wanted you to meet your friends again…”

So she had deliberately brought them back. It was not an accident like had been the case for the other Milla. That was something he had wondered. She must have gotten the idea when she witnessed his painful reunions with other Chimeriads from other fractured dimensions. He had always been careful not to show any emotion, but her childish eyes must have seen through the façade and noticed his distress. He crouched down before her and delicately wiped away her tears.

“Do not blame yourself, Elle,” he told her gently. “I know you only had good intentions.”

“You don’t hate me?” she sniffled.

“Of course not! On the contrary… I would like to thank you. It’s true that there will be some problems, but we can overcome them. It’s nothing compared to the chance to see them again.”

Elle’s face brightened immediately.

“Oh, good! I was afraid you’d be mad. You’re scary when you’re mad.”

He laughed softly. It was true that his strict look was intimidating to children—and even to most adults, in fact.

“I’ll never be mad at you. Not for this.”

“Pinky swear?” she asked, presenting her little finger.

“Pinky swear!” he agreed.

She giggled, happy with her new promise.

“I must go! Ludger is going to worry. Good night, mister king.”

“Good night, Elle.”

He went back to his hotel, his mind full of doubts and hope. Whatever happened, Elle’s choice would probably have unexpected consequences. But all that mattered to him now was to make sure that these Chimeriad could find a place in their new world, at his side.

As he expected, his business brunch was extremely boring. Skylarks’ salespeople were going on endlessly about their company’s successes, and all he had to do was nod and speak a few words of acknowledgement from time to time. He would have much rather gone apartment hunting with Rowen. He wondered what his councilor would find. Nothing too grand, he hoped. The old man sometimes had very fixed ideas on how a king should show his influence. He just wanted something neither too big nor too small, where he could help the Chimeriad get used to their new world. The businessmen were now congratulating themselves on their victory against a competitor. He felt his GHS vibrate in his pocket and had to resist the urge to take it out and check what it was about. Had Rowen found something? What district would they move to? He hoped it would not be too far from the station… though the port district might be good too. They would then have easy access to the ferries bound for Marksburg, from where they could quickly reach Rieze Maxia. Although, it would be best to avoid Rieze Maxia for the moment. He really needed to come up with a way to explain the Chimeriad’s return to the population.

To his relief, the meeting finally came to an end. The Skylark executives looked very satisfied and were already promising to organize another one. In his mind, he already made the decision to send Rowen to the next one in his place. When the last man left, he sat back down and took out his GHS, curious about the message he had received earlier. Surprisingly, it was not from Rowen, but from Elise. It only contained one single sentence, but that was enough to make his heart flutter.

Wingul woke up.

#yume fanfiction #tales of xillia #king gaius #gaiwin #the chimeriad #i liiiiiiive #tales of xillia 2

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pussymagicuniverse · 5 years

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Catamenial Mania: Looking Towards the Prevalence of Period Porn

it’s easy to blame porn. it’s easy to give porn credit.

throughout history, the depictions of porn and our interactions with it have offered reflections and refractions of humanity’s most truthful and most unaware designs. manifestations of the most extreme and the most banal flights into fantasy prejudices and biases for all to hear and see and come to.

it’s a safe bet to say that periods predate porn.

the scarcity of period porn has not gone unnoticed and was the topic of a talk at the first world pornography conference in 1998. it had crossed my mind on a number of occasions why period porn had never popped up as often as i thought it would, considering that it had never popped up at all. once i debated with someone that such a thing as yeast infection porn couldn’t possibly exist, least of all because having sex with a yeast infection is a horribly uncomfortable experience. and despite it all it only took a single search on PornHub to find a video.

it’s understandable that some people prefer to keep porn as a fantasy. but how can fantasies incorporate every conceivable thing but still want to keep themselves untainted by a little blood. how could period blood not be a part of someone’s fantasy, anyone’s fantasy, especially when it’s a fact that most people with cunts get especially horny on their period.

while there are a number of factors that play into what kind of porn is made, how it is made, who it is made by, and where it is accessible, in the hierarchy of censorship it turns out that one of the main hindrances to period porn are the payment processors rather than the porn industry itself. billing companies and payment processing companies such as Visa, Mastercard, and PayPal for example, impose content restrictions and strict regulations around the words used and content provided and reserve the right to refuse to process payments for companies and websites if they allow content on their platform that violates these regulations, due to their designation of such websites as ‘high risk.’ i was exposed to this thanks to a terrific thread by writer Lux Alptraum.

“the cunt cannot help the blood it puts forth. it cannot help but flounder in life and death and creation. ambiguity and instability are implicit in its folds and people with cunts are all too aware.” (click to tweet)

looking at one example of a list of forbidden words, at first glance it doesn’t seem entirely outrageous. it’s understandable that one wouldn’t want to be promoting or legitimizing abusive, violent, or non-consensual content. it’s understandable that one wouldn’t want to be associated with snuff films. some words come in a variety so it’s clear that someone wants to cover all their bases. one can rationalize how blood might come to be on that list in regards to violence or abuse or death. however, with the inclusion of ‘menstrual, menstruate, menstruation’ it becomes clear that blood isn’t innocently forbidden.

to highlight multiple versions of menstruation (not to mention ‘period’ is also on that list, right in-between ‘pedophilia’ and ‘popper’) and put them on the same level as abuse or bigotry or slurs is a blatant demonization of people with cunts. to instate a policy that underlines natural and healthy bleeding as something that should be restricted or forbidden is nothing more than a dehumanization. to say that the blood that comes out of someone’s legs is so shameful is so dangerous that even the mere mention of the word to describe such an act is impermissible does nothing but reflect the face of patriarchy.

even unrelated connotations suffer under this. according to an interview in a Vice article that investigates this censorship a BDSM site remarks that they can no longer use red candles in their wax play because “wasteland's payment processors seem to think melted red wax is a dead ringer for blood.”

there are no good reasons to look down on menstruation. there is absolutely no excuse and there is absolutely no justification that is not based in misogyny. it is the only blood that belongs outside and yet in our daily content we find ourselves exposed to every kind but.

“anything that denies a person with a bleeding cunt is demonstrative of patriarchy.” (click to tweet)

this is how power dynamics manifest now in the neoliberal world we have generated; through the withholding of not just money and profit but the ability of exchange in itself. these payment processors and billing agents have nothing to do with the money that is being exchanged but through the mere threat of withholding the act of exchange content disappears from sight. not to say that it’s impossible to find but how many people look further than PornHub or XVideos or whatever one’s main site happens to be. this lack of visibility is entirely intentional not towards creating a fantasy but towards upholding a system of oppression and erasure. porn companies and independent porn producers can keep making all the self-conscious and feminist porn they want, but billing companies will ensure that their content never becomes mainstream.

even the act of trying to find information directly from Visa or Mastercard proves difficult. Google searches don’t seem to register the term menstruation and instead change it to ‘period’ in their algorithms. whether or not this is a prerogative of Google’s or an SEO pairing function from the billing companies is unclear.

the act of withholding payment processing when others don’t abide by your values is neither new nor limited to the world of porn. as of the writing of this post the United States is still considering imposing financial sanctions on Venezuela that may lead to Visa and Mastercard being unable to process payments in the country. another effort against Maduro and his supporters, the United States expresses its dissatisfaction at dissent not by withholding money but by withholding the ability to use money.

it’s easy to think that through the withholding of money or the ability to exchange money, values may be influenced. it’s easy to think that that’s the only way to influence people’s behavior. but besides the fact that it’s fairly agreed upon that economic sanctions don’t really work, it’s absurd to think that the act of exchanging money is being withheld in order to keep people from being exposed to the blood that comes from cunts.

“to instate a policy that underlines natural and healthy bleeding as something that should be restricted or forbidden is nothing more than a dehumanization.” (click to tweet)

around the world one of the common denominators of patriarchy is the damnation of menstruation. the effects of patriarchal thinking vary around the globe but the misogyny of stigmatizing what comes out of a person’s cunt seems to be a constant. whether through refusing to call it by its name offering odd euphemisms in its stead taxing products designed to aid the process making products hard to find making people with cunts seclude themselves following them to watch them change causing pain misattributing pain ignoring pain silencing them deeming them impure deciding everything touched is impure or some other sort of nonsense.

not everyone enjoys period sex. not everyone enjoys watching period porn. this isn’t about preferences or comfort levels. this is about the erasure and mistreatment of something that happens to people with cunts at least 450 times in their lives. what other constant is so widely ignored. what other biological constant is used as blackmail against profit.

anything that denies a person with a bleeding cunt is demonstrative of patriarchy.

this denial is not new but nor is it timeless. in both roman and etruscan mythologies there existed a goddess of the dead of spirits of chaos called mania (or manea). in Greek mythology, Mania is the goddess of insanity and madness. her name ties her to another roman goddess called Mana Genita, whose name Plurarch derives the latin verb manare, meaning to flow to shed to pour forth. in itself this bleeding is the standard for normativity. its madness is essential towards existence. it is only through our own interactions with it whether we decide to respect it or vilify it.

there is nothing wrong with chaos. there is nothing insane about insanity. it is all a part of being alive being human being whatever this concoction of cells happens to be. but the more we deny what is basic in us the harder it will be to figure out what is extraordinary.

the cunt cannot help the blood it puts forth. it cannot help but flounder in life and death and creation. ambiguity and instability are implicit in its folds and people with cunts are all too aware. to watch those around you participate in its erasure is infuriating. but people with cunts never forget.

further play:

Erotic Red

Why is ‘Period’-Porn So Rare? An Explanatory Mess

Vampire Porn Challenges Period Sex Stigma

How My Periods Made Me More Aware Of Patriarchy In The North East

Period poverty: Scotland poll shows women go to desperate lengths

Citing Gender Bias, State Lawmakers Move To Eliminate 'Tampon Tax'

Period-Shaming Isn’t Rooted In Indian Culture, But In Patriarchy

Do Vampires Menstruate? The Power Of Jenny Hval’s New Album Blood Bitch

How did menstruation become taboo?

Rubyfloetics: A Period Poem Mixtape

marina manoukian is a reader and writer and collage artist. she currently resides in berlin while she studies and works. she likes honey and she loves bees. you can find more of her words and images at marinamanoukian.com or twitter/instagram at @crimeiscommon.

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catbowserauthor · 6 years

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Hobbit Story: Anchored 4

So, this story occurs before my “Calling in a King’s Favor” and it actually was the start of my AU universe. I plan on finishing my re-write/AU of BOTFA in the near future but this story is what started it.

A missing scene from the Jackson movies, following the first battle with Azog. Emotions comes to a climax while the company stays with Beorn. Thorin has been playing Leader and King for the entire journey but he sometimes forgets that Kili and Fili need him to be an uncle too…and that some things cut deeper among family.

Fourth Part!

Under normal circumstances, Beorn’s homestead was actually quite pleasant. Fili, like most dwarves, was not a huge fan of large open plains and prairies, preferring the comfort of hard stone and rock but even he had to admit that normally the fields and scattered trees were quite a lovely sight. Right now though, he couldn’t see anything except potential ambush sites, places where orcs or goblins might be lying in wait, places that were out of range of the safety of the company. He couldn’t hear anything pleasant about the night, just foreboding growls, grunts and howls.

Wolves he had dealt with before, as had his brother. Truthfully, despite the dangers they could sometimes bring, both Kili and himself had a fondness for the furry beasts and had tried on more than one occasion to sneak one home. Had it just been Uncle Thorin home at the time, he was pretty sure they would have succeeded. Despite the harsh dwarf he presented himself as, Fili and Kili had grown up with quite a different dwarf. While hardly what one would call a pushover, Uncle Thorin could certainly be persuaded. Kili, being younger, one would think could win him over easily and while Kili had a talent for persuading Thorin on the short term, it was actually Fili who did most of the convincing for a lasting change. Like his uncle had often told him, he had a talent for politics and that included being a very convincing debater on him and his brother’s behalf. He recalled quite vividly preaching about how the small white pup that Kili had stuffed into his bag could be trained for hunting and tracking and after all, had not dwarves utilized wolves as companion beasts before, to Thorin’s small growing smile.

Mother’s sudden return home had destroyed his fine work. Her huffing and shouting had led to only one conclusion and Kili had set the pup loose with an indignant cry of “But Uncle almost said yes!”

Thorin never confirmed or denied that accusation but the way he had smiled at Fili later and commented that he could “sell a sword to a handless warrior” had been telling enough to fill his chest with pride.

Kili even being allowed on this journey was due in no small part to him convincing his uncle of the skills and desire of the youngest Durin. Kili, while indeed full of spirit, had never been very good at conveying what benefits his energy, skill and enthusiasm could do and it had always ended up sounding like begging. Fili would always manage to translate that into something that would win over Thorin’s protective nature. The older prince knew that while Thorin was quite proud of both of them, despite their less than stellar performance (in Fili’s mind at any rate) on this adventure, he still could not dismiss years of bonding and that any attempts to draw them away from danger were the uncle trying to push through the king.

He knew it but that didn’t make it easier.

And what would either of them think of you now? He argued at himself. The King would think you foolish and the Uncle would say you were paranoid and worried too much.

Shaking his head back and forth, he glanced back towards the small home of Beorn. Truly, this was ridiculous. He had seen Gandalf heal his Uncle, seen Thorin awake, though slowly and rise to his feet. He had seen him even give their burglar one of his rare but strong embraces. Thorin was well known for using other means to express emotion—gently clamping the shoulder, a nudge with the side of his head, a smile, a back slap. His hugs were to be cherished and you never forgot them. When he and Kili were younger, they used to love getting lost in them, burying their faces into his furs. On a special occasion, their uncle might even indulge them with a dwarven kiss, a gentle touch to the forehead with his own. Fili could count on one hand the number of times he had received that: when he had broken his leg while doing a foolish dare as a child and ended up trapped in a small pit before they could extract him, when he’d been very ill as a child, and when he’d received a harsh injury during training, a deep slash across the belly. Physical affection outside of family was so rare for Thorin. If he had bothered to do so then—

See? His inner voice snarled again as he made his way across the field. See? Something’s wrong. Your Uncle is still hurt, he’s still injured. He’s probably bleeding and not telling anyone and when he finally collapses, Kili won’t know what to do and he’ll bleed out and die.

Okay, no, this was getting ridiculous. Shaking his head, slamming the heel of his hand into his temple, as if that would chase out the thoughts, Fili paused, again. He scolded himself. He was giving into ridiculous fears that had no basis in reality. He was meant to be a leader, a king one day. A king did not give into fear. A king would not be interfering when something was already handled. Thorin and Kili would settle the issues and return before long. Much as Thorin was hard headed and stubborn, his little brother had inherited that same fire and he could work through whatever emotions had finally sprung out of his heart. He was only going to be making things worse by barging into things as he was. The best course of action was to turn around and try to get some sleep before the night slipped away entirely.

Yes, yes, that was what a reasonable leader would do.

Pushing aside the few branches and maneuvering through the speckle of trees throughout the fields, it occurred to him, briefly, that his mind’s rationalizations were being utterly ignored by his body. He pressed onward as if propelled by an inner force that simply would not relent. He argued against it, pushing every type of reason he could muster but that dream, that vision of his uncle lying limp in the eagle’s talons, that pool of blood caking the furs and ground, he couldn’t force that from his mind. He was suddenly wishing for a large mug of ale to force such thoughts from his mind but given he was out here and his heart seemed content to push onward despite his protests, he reluctantly caved.

He heard the whispered Khuzdul after a moment. Soft spoken and whispered but not out of shame. No, this was the tone he had not heard for years. He had never forgotten it though.

It was always spoken softly as it was meant only for one person. It was meant to be a private moment, one that was to be treasured and honored. It was rare for Uncle Thorin to engage in sweet nothings exchanged but it did happen. There were those, some in their Company, no doubt who would have laughed at such a concept. After all, Thorin was a warrior, a king and a leader. Typically, whisperings of heart-feelings were reserved for mothers to their young ones but Fili had grown up with his uncle’s stern but gentle voice in his ear. He knew not to speak of it openly, as the appearance of a stoic leader was important but there was never any doubt that his uncle’s love equally matched his mother’s in passion.

All the same, to hear it now, his eyes watered slightly at it.

Following it, he kept his steps soft and quiet but his elder still heard him. It would have been a shock to him if he had not. While Thorin’s eyes were not as strong as they had once been, which was something he and Kili tried to compensate for without stating that was what they were doing, his other senses were sharp as ever. He had grown into one of their best fighters for a reason and one of those reasons was his near god-like ability to know his surroundings. When Fili had been little, he remembered asking his uncle several times how he accomplished it and Thorin had only ever told him that life was the best trainer one could have.

There’d been such darkness in his eyes that the young prince had never asked again.

Now, rounding the corner of a large tree, he found what he had been seeking.

Sitting on the ground, Thorin had Kili nearly curled into his lap he was pressed so close and was stroking his hair, root to tip, whispering softly to him in Khuzdul. Kili’s eyes were wet but he wasn’t openly crying, at least not anymore. Fili could see the remains of the tear rivers on his face but he said nothing of it. Setting his sights on his uncle, he tried once more to convince his racing heart and all-together-too-active imagination that their fears had been for naught. After all, wasn’t his uncle sitting there on the ground in front of him with nary a problem in sight? Not even any strain visible on his face. No blood, no sweat, nothing. He was fine. He was fine.

He’s fine…

“Fili.”

Head lifted at his uncle’s firm call, he met the blue eyes of their family patriarch for a moment.

All those thoughts, those rationalizations died away and he swore he saw it all again: the fire, the sword swipe, the attack by the warg, the threat to take his uncle’s head, all flashing before his eyes even as he stared into the very alive gaze of Thorin, sitting not even five feet away. They would not fade. They would not go away. Why were they not going away? He had killed in battle before and it had not hurt him this badly. He had wept and found himself shaking for a day or so but not like this. At least then, all he saw when he closed his eyes was what had happened. None of this things that had never happened nonsense replaying over and over like a sick theater performance.

“Fili. Come.”

Thorin set a hand on the patch of ground on his other side. “Come,” he said again.

Fili battled it within himself. He should not come. He should say that he did not mean to intrude and merely was checking on them. He should say that if they wished to return, their bedrolls were already laid out and a guard rotation established. He should say that he was merely keeping an eye on Kili and that…

Slumping against the nearby tree, Fili slid his boots into the dirt and slowly lowered to the ground on his uncle’s free side. He didn’t look at him. Much as he wanted to, much as he wanted to see, to reassure himself, yet again, that there was no blood flowing off his uncle’s face, that his uncle’s head was still firmly attached, that the teeth of that warg had not torn his ribs apart…he didn’t trust himself to look. If he did so now, when they were not separated by distance, when he was within arms’ reach, when he could feel the warmth of the dwarf who had been with him since the day he was born…

He wasn’t sure he could maintain the dignity of an heir.

He felt like kicking himself.

He should have seen it. He should have seen the tenseness in Kili and the distance in Fili.

He should have heard the fear in Fili’s tone and the horror in Kili’s false laugh.

It was clear as day now that he had one of them on either side of him. The tears in Kili’s eyes cut his heart and the unspoken fears in Fili’s made him sick to his stomach. When had they stopped coming to him? When they were little, you could always find them, lingering around his legs. Had he distanced them so much on this quest that they could not come to him with their worries? He knew that both of them fretted far too much over what he thought of them, of how he appraised their skills. Kili would not want to worry him and Fili would put everyone else before himself, no matter what the damage to himself.

He should have expected as much. Fili was loyal, a type of loyalty that was hard to find and the kind that never faltered. As soon as Kili had snapped, he should have been calling to Fili to come with them because if Kili was snapping, then Fili was containing. It was a pattern as familiar as the sound of the lads’ voices and yet he had not seen it. He had been completely blind to it. Thorin did not feel bad about his decisions very often, as you couldn’t be second-guessing yourself as either a leader, a king or a warrior but he certainly felt the regret of THIS oversight.

Fili still hadn’t looked up at him.

Shifting slightly and moving his hand free, Thorin reached out and gently laid his hand into his eldest sister-son’s golden locks, gently rubbing them, as he had to the younger one. “Fili, look at me.”

No words but a slight shake from side to side.

Thorin could count on one hand the times that Fili had refused to obey him. Even as a child, he was so obedient at times that it was frightening. The exiled king distinctly recalled, more than once, telling the boy to ‘get in trouble, Mahal’s sake!’ Kili would naturally convince his sibling to take advantage of that and Thorin was never sure if he should praise or curse the mischief that followed. He tended to do both.

On this quest however, aside from the incident with the ponies, which he’d contributed to the simple impatience and boredom of youth more than anything, both his sister-sons had been strikingly mature, all things considered. They had a lot to learn but they had grown up knowing of the importance, the integrity of this mission. He had told a great many stories to them, a great many tales and songs. When the time had come, when the realization that they could reclaim their homeland was here, neither of them had been expected to come but they had both met him nearly with their bags already packed. They had yet to fail him since they left the Blue Mountains.

It appeared, however, that he had failed them. Perhaps not as a leader or a king but as family, as an uncle.

Had they been in the Blue Mountains, he would have seen it, heard it, felt it the moment they entered the room that the something was amiss. He and Dis were both experts at it. Now that he was not consumed with rage, with vengeance boiling his blood, it was like he had not noticed a bleeding gash down Fili’s face. It was as if he had not noticed an infected wound in Kili’s gut.

He had bound Kili’s and while there was much left to be done, Fili needed him more right now.

He tightened his massage on the boy’s head, while still keeping his other hand in Kili’s (a technique mastered by years of practice encouraging frightened lads to dreams) and said softly.

“Look at me.”

Grasping his nephew under the chin, he forced his head to turn, forced their eyes to meet and he intoned, in a gentle tone that he had been neglect to use for several years, “I know you hurt, do not lie to me. I will not have you suffer needlessly. Talk to me.”

“I…Uncle, I am…” He began but it fell like ash in his mouth. Ash and fire. Blood and sweat. That battle, that laugh from that orc, that blade…

“Fili,” Thorin hardened his tone, just a bit. His eldest nephew, by virtue of being the one burdened with responsibility, had always been harder to crack but if he did not, Thorin did not like the possibilities. The wildness he saw in Fili’s eyes was barely contained. Just as Kili’s had erupted in tears and shakes and screams, Fili’s could not endure forever. Taking an inhale himself, he cast the King and Leader aside and was left with only Uncle Thorin. Leaning forward but not quite touching foreheads, he moved his hand from the chin to the hair again, brushing the braids back and saying, “Talk to me, targ mim.”

Fili cracked.

Khuzdul Translations:

targ mim--"Little Beard" could be translated also as "Beardling"

#The Hobbit fanfiction #Jackson LOTR Hobbit universe #The Hobbit AU #Thorin and Fili and Kili #Durin Family #Durin Family Feels #Thorin tries to be a good parent #he just needs reminders sometimes #You don't watch someone you love almost die and just get over it #slight PTSD #Paternal Thorin #Because he's awesome

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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WHAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ABOUT WORD

That's the measure of a startup: growth makes the successful companies so valuable that all the obvious ones are already taken. Not surprising, considering The Men's Wearhouse was at that moment running ads saying The Suit is Back. Growth explains why the most successful startups, because they're the only ones who've noticed the change. I assumed I'd learn what in college. Technical tweaks may also help. The main reason PR firms exist is that reporters are lazy.1 The Metaphysics is among the least read of all famous books. This has a nice sound to it, the only way to produce a startup hub.2 There's no correlation between the percentage of startups that raise money and the metric that does matter financially, whether that batch of startups contains a big winner, you won't have much competition.3 There's an initial period of slow or no growth while the startup tries to figure out.4

You'd have to be able to take either of these routes. But there are, and this too didn't show up in tax returns or income statistics. Knowledge another shot in college. The hard part was predicting how tough and ambitious they would become. By using the classic device for simulating the manager's schedule and one on the manager's schedule and one on the manager's schedule.5 Though the first philosophers in the western tradition lived about 2500 years ago, and even then was afflicted by the structural problems I've described above. So far the complete list of messages I've picked up from cities is: wealth, style, hipness, physical attractiveness, fame, political power, economic power, intelligence, social class, and quality of life. Of the stories you read in traditional media that aren't about politics, crimes, or disasters, more than half probably come from PR firms. So he proposes there are two great universities, but they're forty miles away.

Which can put you in a catch-22: without a product you can't generate the growth you need to figure it out from subtle clues, like a nuclear chain reaction. Would that mean sitting on too many boards? All you can say with certainty about Jaynes is that he was a fairly big spammer.6 At each point a day, a week, a month I thought I'd already put in so much time into it that this must be the idea. New York's is finance and Silicon Valley's is startups. But that was not the conclusion Aristotle's successors derived from works like the Metaphysics. If one show did try something daring, local affiliates in conservative markets would make them stop. You can tweak the design faster when you're the factory, and you can't do it by accident.

The best word to describe the failure to do so much for. That spirit is exactly what you want in a startup is intrinsically something you can learn when you need to, and I am self-indulgent choice, because the VCs need them more than they need the VCs. Smaller companies were increasingly able to survive as formerly narrow channels to consumers broadened.7 But I tried to opt out of it.8 If you're really getting a constant number of new customers every month, you're in trouble, because that means your spirits are correspondingly depressed when you don't. And since risk is usually proportionate to reward, if you have genuine intellectual curiosity, that's what a lot of them were crap, and I wrote a signup program that ensures all the appointments within a given set of office hours are clustered at the end of each chapter in a math textbook represent work, or at least, but less frightening than the far more common case of having something automatic that doesn't yet solve anyone's problems.9 This a helps them pick the right startups, and it turned out not to be cool and maybe make money. Most American cities have been turned inside out.

And just as the mid-century TV culture was good. Basically, Apple bumped IBM and then Microsoft stole its wallet. Larry and Sergey do want to change the world. All great cities were located on waterways, because cities made money by trade, and water was the only thing that mattered, and you learn things you'd never have known otherwise.10 But it's not because liberals are smarter that this is a fairly efficient market. It's not merely that you need time to grow a silicon valley? This is clearest in the case of the Milanese Leonardo. That means they want less money, but also because such investments are so easy to oversee. That's what was killing them. The goal he announces in the Metaphysics was partly that he set off with contradictory aims: to explore the most abstract ideas, guided by the assumption that they were useless.

Notes

This was partly confidence, and they succeeded. 92. Photo by Alex Lewin. But the question of whether public company not to like to invest at a discount to whatever the valuation of an email address you can imagine cases where you can't tell you who they are in set theory, combinatorics, and more tentative.

Surely no one thinks of calling that unfair.

You won't always get a patent is conveniently just longer than the previous round. To get all you have no idea what they say this amounts to the point of failure, which is as frightening as it sounds like something cooked up, and many of the causes of the lies we tell kids are probably not do this with prices too, and an haughty spirit before a fall. If it's 90%, you'd ultimately be a lot like meaning.

Founders rightly dislike the sort of stepping back is one of the marks of a placeholder than an ordinary programmer would never even think of the rest have mostly raised money at first, but art is a trap set by evil companies for the correction. But it takes more than make them less vulnerable to gaming, because unions will exert political pressure to protect against truly determined attackers.

I was a very misleading number, because unpromising-seeming startups that have it as a definition of property without affecting and probably also encourage companies to build their sites, and most sophisticated city in the process of selling things to be.

It's like pulling the control rods out of just Japanese. Unless you're very smooth founder who read this essay will say that Watt reinvented the steam engine.

Few can have a big angel like Ron Conway had been with their decision or just outright dismisses it and make a deep philosophical point here about which is just like a body cavity search by someone with a potential acquirer unless you see people breaking off to both left and right. Your Brain, neurosurgeon Frank Vertosick recounts a conversation—maybe not linearly, but I managed to screw up twice at the bottom of a city's potential as a game, Spacewar, in response to the rise of big companies, but mediocre investors almost all do. In Jessica Livingston's Founders at Work.

The quality of investor behavior.

VCs suggest it's roughly correct to say, real income ignores much of it. Ed.

They say to most people than subsequent millions. Build them a microcomputer, and it will have to turn Buffalo into a pattern, as Brian Burton does in SpamProbe. This is, this is the same thing, while the more accurate or at least accepted additions to the point of view anyway.

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tipsycad147 · 3 years

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Real Love Spells for Modern Witches! 17 Spells That Work

Love spells can be a really powerful source of self-empowerment. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, and loving someone deeply gives you courage. These words were true when Chinese philosopher Lao-Tze coined them – over two thousand years ago – and still ring true today.

Some of us would do anything to recover a lost love or to attract someone new, but it can be hard to know where to start [psssst! Start here!]. Past and present can get in the way, certain experiences make it hard just to try and move on. But spiritual healing is easier than you think. These simple love spells are a free DIY option that you can use at home to promote love in all aspects of your life. 💏

On this page, you’ll find:

Do Love Spells Work?

Free Love Spells

Tips for Casting Better Love Spells

FAQ

Spells to Attract Love

Spells to Forget an Ex

Love Spells For Couples

Reconciliation Spells: Bring Back a Lover

Love Spells for a Specific Person

Do Love Spells Work?

Love spells have existed since the beginning of civilization, when Witchcraft was used to increase fertility or to favor marriages and relationships. This type of Magic was usually performed by shamans and healers. It was an early form of religion and science. This experimental skill has been passed down for hundreds of generations.

If you have never worked with spells of Witchcraft before, here’s a quick guide that will get you started:

The most effective love spells that work usually involve love chants, prayer, mantras, or affirmations that reinforce our confidence. Before manifesting anything in our reality, we must first believe and feel that this is possible, that we deserve it. To cast a love spell, you have to be ready and open to receive that kind of love. ❤

The ritual aspects of the spell are less important, but they will help you to get into the right mindset. So prepare an atmosphere with dim lights or candles, and a silent place to work without interruptions. Let the energy flow through you and concentrate on your desire. If you haven’t already, read this lesson on the First 5 Steps to Becoming a Real-Life Witch.

Bookmark this site and especially the free love spell recipes. Come back later and print them out or copy them to your Book of Shadows. All spells on this page can easily be cast at home, even if you are a Beginner Witch. You can use Magic for:

Channeling self-love and confidence

Improving a romantic relationship

Recovering a lost love

Attracting someone closer to you

Tips for Casting Better Love Spells

Here are some keys to the proper casting of spells, so if you are a beginner and would like to practice Witchcraft at home, you can maximize the effectiveness of your rituals without having to pay for a professional spellcaster.

1. Clearly define an intention

One of the basic rules for doing any type of Magic work is to understand exactly what your desires are. The clearer your goals and intentions are, the easier it will be for you to materialize those goals and get good results in your spiritual work.

When casting any spell, your thoughts must be directed towards your goal like a laser beam, without any interference. 🎯 Love spells that work best for beginners are those that focus on changing your outlook on life and improving yourself, instead of trying to change what others feel.

2. Choose the right spell

If there are several spells that could fit your need, then choose the one that immediately draws your attention or that you liked at first sight.

Don’t overthink, rely on your intuition and keep your confidence levels high. If you like candles, cast a spell that uses candles. If you like to work with herbs, crystals, or any ingredient in particular, use that ingredient as much as you can. Witches tend have affinities to certain elements because they symbolize a connection to an aspect of Nature or the Universe. With the help of these symbols, a true Witch can manifest anything they want. Find the ingredients and spells that speak to you personally, experiment and have fun! 🍀

If you’ve never cast a spell before, start with easy spells, or look for one that seems simple enough for you. Don’t have big expectations for your first rituals. It’s a slow learning progress and little by little you will become more confident.

3. Practice through trial and error

If a spell does not work for you, wait for a month and re-cast it. Use your intuition to try and find the reason why it didn’t work. If you felt good while casting the spell but you didn’t get any results, it’s preferable that you try casting the same spell again instead of moving to a new one. It takes practice. 💪

Do not combine a love spell with another trying to enhance it. Unless you are experienced, your attention will be dispersed and the spellwork will become useless. It is much more effective to focus all your energy and attention in one goal. Wait until one full moon cycle has passed (about 28 days) before casting another spell. You can still perform, for example, baths and cleanses for unblocking and opening paths. There are plenty of other daily rituals and meditations you can still perform.

If you are a beginner, it’s best to following a written spell step by step, without changing anything. More advanced practitioners should adapt and write their own spells.

4. Give thanks every day

Give thanks because the people and circumstances that you have asked for are already on their way. Allow yourself to daydream and remember what your goal is every morning. Use the Daily Ritual Page to practice devotionals, positive affirmations and mantras that will keep you in the right mood. 🙏 Thought creates reality: Watch your thoughts!

5. Work with the Universe

The Full Moon and all other lunar phases have energies that can enhance your Magic. Full Moon love spells harness the symbolism and power of the lunar radiance to amplify your intent. Find more Full Moon Spells to Workout the Witch in you.

🌒🌕🌘

Remember: There are 8 lunar phases and we can group them into 4 stages: New Moon, Waxing Moon, Full Moon, and Waning Moon. If you’re new to Moon Magic, read this post now:

When you make a petition or a request to any entities or to your Higher Self, pretend that you already have what you are asking for and that you are just giving thanks for it. Never say “Help me because I’m tired and lonely” or anything like that. Focus on positive thinking, which naturally attracts positive energies. For example, say: “Thanks for filling my life with love and joy”.

The Universe will always interpret your call as a reaffirmation. Whatever you have now, you will get more. Try giving thanks because the man or woman of your dreams is already in your life. Try to feel like you are already surrounded by love and happiness, because you deserve it. Part of learning how to make love spells is visualizing yourself being embraced, loved and letting those emotions surface. ❤

6. Be patient

Don’t let doubts and fears take away your Power. Don’t talk with others about the spells you are casting or about your petitions to the Universe. They will see for themselves when it happens. For now, be patient. Let the energies do their job and trust them. Work every day towards your goal and do not hurry.

7. Support your desires with action

Besides what’s in your head and in your heart, you should be doing things that tell the Universe what you want. Use your new boost of confidence to go out and become more active. Make friends. Establish contacts and open up to new opportunities.

The manifestation of what you want comes much more quickly when your words are supported by your deeds. Do what you say you will do. Show the Universe that you are a powerful creator by being what you say you want to be. ☀

Never get carried away by envy, jealousy or negative emotions when it comes to casting spells. I wish you luck in all of your love spells, and remember that you deserve the best, right now.

1. Are these spells of Black Magic?

Answer: They can be, depending on your intentions.

If your wishes entail tampering with another person’s freedom, then that can be considered Black Magic. In other words, spells or rituals of Magic that aim to change someone’s free will or that might affect it as a side effect are undoubtedly rituals of Black Magic.

If your intentions and methods aren’t evil, then you shouldn’t worry. Spells are not “bad” or “evil” by themselves. Evil can exist only in a person’s heart and intentions. When you chant a spell, invoke a certain deity, or contact any spirits, you and your Higher Self know exactly what you are doing. If you have the wrong intentions, or if you are seeking to cause harm or manipulate something that you should not be fiddling with, then it is your own subconscious that will make your spell backfire. Develop your intuition so you can read your own intentions better. Practice your Magic safely, click here to learn about Safety when Casting Spells.

2. How long do love spells take to work?

Answer: Love spells act on people, behaviors, and emotions, which can be very erratic. This is why there is no exact number or mathematical formulas you can use to know this. In general, you can wait to see results within one full moon cycle, but remember that the harder your goal is, the longer your spell will take to work.

If after 28 days ⌛ you haven’t seen any signs of manifestation, you can cast the spell again. Remember to keep realistic goals: If you are looking for free love spells that work in minutes, you should know that such a thing cannot be guaranteed by anyone because Love has its own timing and patience is key.

Avoid scams! Do not trust any spellcaster that promises immediate results or “love spells that work overnight”.

3. How do these love spells work?

Answer: The simplest love spells work by the Law of Attraction. That’s essentially you, your faith and your thoughts. In a more advanced stage of your path, you will learn how to work with deities, spirits and other entities.

These love spells work by creating and raising scpecific energies that sometimes can’t flourish naturally due to blockages, fear, sadness or insecurity. Spells of Magic can make it easier for a person to open their heart and receive, but also give, positive and lovesome emotions.

4. I don’t have any experience casting spells, can I still try them?

Answer: Of course you can. Click here to learn How to Cast Spells When you’re New. Many people visit this website searching things like how to do voodoo love spells, but if you don’t have any experience working with metaphysical energies it can be hard to make love spells work simply following the steps in a recipe. Read as much as you can, and start with easy devotionals and guided meditations.

5. I am LGBTQ, can I do these rituals?

Answer: Yes. All of these spells should work whether you are a man, woman, straight, LGBTQ, or however you identify. You also don’t need to go searching for “gay love spells”, use them and know that wherever there can be love, Magic will help. Work on your rituals until you feel confident enough and you will be able to modify the spells to fit your needs and all your personal circumstances.

6. Can you cast a love spell for me?

Many people are searching for “free love spells cast for you“. The reality is that they are looking for an easy way out of their situation. If you want real change in your love life, you will have to put in the work and make some real changes in your attitude and behavior.

Even if a spellcaster could cast a love spell that worked instantly for you, the results wouldn’t last long because you haven’t changed yourself. The problems will eventually resurface, leaving you back to where you started. Casting a love spell that works for real means investing your own time and energy, making your own decisions, and evaluating the progress you make all the way.

If you feel stuck or can’t make any progress. it’s recommended that you talk to an expert who will be able to address the specifics of your situation.

https://spells8.com/real-love-spells/

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