#Wife Of The Artist (Linda)

[johns-prince]

John was prone to extremes in thinking, feeling, and doing. Either you did or you didn't. Yes or no. You're with him on it 110% or you're out.

Paul wasn't, still isn't. I've always got the impression Paul is much more willing to compromise, especially if it meant he'd be getting his cake and eating it too. Which... Might be it's own extreme.

This isn't to say this is strict; Paul could be stubborn and uncompromising, and John could be much more willing and easy in making truces, if it still benefitted him. Two sides of the same coin, push and pull. There's always nuance.

I only think, Paul's much more particular about believing he can have what he wants, what he needs, without having to make any major compromise. As long as he can have his cake and eat it too.

This is part of what I think put an extra strain between him and John.

I've always believed John is the exception to Paul's sexuality. Paul does love women, he's only ever shown explicit attraction towards women. The only noticeable, explicit exception to this has been John.

What John means to Paul, and vice versa, has always been complex and indefinable. Their relationship is a spectrum of best friends, partners/collaborators, brothers, lovers, rivals, allies, husband and wife, divorcees, widowers, etc etc and the whole thing goes around and around. Subconsciously and consciously.

I think Paul was attracted to John, personally and physically. John was a force, and he came from a higher class, and he was very intelligent and very talented, despite being very lazy and quick to becoming bored. Paul seems to have a fondness for recalling John's hands, how he stood when playing, his nose.

Paul likened creating music to that of sex and orgies, though if done with the right person. John was that person. He'd been that person for Paul since he was a teenager, and for ten years, and then a haunting muse and inspiration years after.

Whether they were ever sexually intimate together, honestly, we'll never really know. There's very interesting, eye-brow raising, side-eyeing moments and interactions between them that suggests something happened (looking at you India)

What I do know is that Paul and John were a very, very strong partnership. Their chemistry was obvious, watching them work together was always fascinating to outsiders. Attached at the hip, Siamese twins. They did in fact love and care for each other.

To what extent this love went, maybe or maybe not the physical realm, but it surpassed the normal bounds of platonic and familial.

I just think, it would've been kind of delusional of Paul to think, he could have John, his soulmate, collaborator, and best friend, making music and other artistic ventures together; and, get to have his wife, along with kids, too.

Not when these two would describe their relationship akin to marriage, girlfriends and boyfriends, fiances, their creating music like an act of sex.

Why it worked with John having a wife, Cynthia, is because in all honestly, she wasn't a threat. She didn't threaten the Beatles, and she really didn't threaten Paul's relationship with John.

Why it wasn't working with Linda, and why it most certainly didn't work with Yoko, is because both women posed a threat to, maybe not exactly the Beatles as a band as they did to the relationship that was Lennon-McCartney. They were serious, the real deal, because they were much more involved (intentionally or not)

Linda could provide to Paul what he, apparently, couldn't get from John, their partnership.

Yoko was willing to give to John what he yearned for, that Cynthia apparently couldn't give, and that Paul might've refused to give, or in John's mind, rejected him.

But you have Paul wanting both his cake and to eat it too and you know what, I'd probably be frustrated too, if I was John, and if John really did hold deeper feelings for his partner and closest friend.

No one is owed anyone's feelings of affection, but I have to speculate how exactly it went, between Paul and John, when the whole group was coming up to crossroads and what decisions made there would determine what happened next.

Paul picking Linda, marrying her, probably felt like an affront to John, by how he acted and behaved. The fear of no longer being the Most Important Person in Paul's Life. Paul didn't love him like John wanted him too.

But Paul did, of course, he was heartbreakingly obvious of how he felt towards John during Get Back, and his attitude towards Yoko.

Paul probably found it very rational that he could have his wife (sexual partner) and have John (his... Pseudo sexual partner? Creative partner) and it'd be just fine and dandy. But that's only true if their relationship was a normal one to begin with, if their friendship was a rationally reasonable one.

John was always possessive over Paul, whether it be with new friends (Tara Browne) or all his little girlfriends. He never liked them, John and Jane were known for disliking each other outright. John wanted to do everything with Paul, like LSD. John didn't share his people, he just didn't.

He chose Paul, made the conscious decision to do so, and up until the end, he believed Paul chose him too.

Paul did, he very much did, but I think maybe he overestimated just how dependent John was of him, and just how insecure he was in the love that Paul had for him.

Though perhaps the same could be said about Paul, because once John made it obvious that Yoko was now his everything, his New Creative ""Soulmate'', Paul nearly broke in half. Can no longer rationalize the "have my cake and eat it too" as John was not willing to compartmentalize his relationships and feelings to two different people, like Paul was. That's just not him.

So Paul got none of him.

And I know this post is dragging on but, one more, super interesting thought.

John had a sexual attraction to both men and women. Okay. It's not like he couldn't just, go get his kicks with another man, if Paul wasn't biting, wasn't giving.

But their relationship was not that simple. Sexual intimacy was probably not all John wanted from Paul, if my theorizing is correct in the slightest. It was either the last step or last leap of them becoming everything to each other. John did put those he loved through tests of patient, loving resilience. Why wouldn't this be one? Not even just the sex but just, giving everything to each other knowingly, and without guards and blinders.

John made the conscious decision to love, and obsess, over Paul. He makes these decisions, just like he did with Yoko. He didn't have too. Paul really isn't the only beautiful, talented man in this world.

But to John, he was. No one compared, I guess. No one could replace Paul. That's love. Not just, physical attraction and the idea of satiating a curious sexual desire with your best friend.

On the other hand, Paul, in my opinion, really is set on women. John's just the exception, and he's always been his exception. Which is probably frightening to confront, at least back then, so I can't really blame him if he'd fumbled it with trying to compromise with whatever John might've wanted from him and their relationship. Or him even rejecting John, despite the fact.

What Linda said, "Paul is desperate to write with John... John is just desperate to write again." That sticks with me, because it's so THEM. It's what I've tried encapsulating in this post, which I've probably failed.

Paul and John could stand on their own two feet, outside of the Beatles, I'll agree. Very talented in their own rights.

But Paul wanted to write with John again, not just, some nobody. Desperate, he was desperate to be around John, and to bring back that (sexual) creative bond they once had. He's never been this deadset on another man he's worked with, he's never been desperate.

John wanted to write again. Thing is, John had made his choice, picking Yoko over Paul (for various reasons) just like he could, and did, pick her as his new wife/sexual partner, over Paul (in spite of Paul) but he couldn't ever let go of Paul. Clearly, from what we know, he never stopped thinking about Paul. It's known he wasn't getting from Yoko what he had gotten with Paul, though, in terms of creative partnership... And even general.

I believe he missed it just as bad as Paul did. He missed them.

Linda saw it, knew it, could probably feel it the few times Paul and John did get together. What Paul may have told her, revealed his true feelings about the band, about John, to her.

I can't really fault Paul or John from the course in life they chose, not really. I don't think either of them knew how to deal with what was going on between them, twin flames, soulmates. They dealt with it in different ways, two different extremes, which was part of why it all ended so bitterly and tragically like lovers falling out.

Paul couldn't have his cake and eat it too, not here. John couldn't get Paul fully, completely, totally, and because of that, Paul couldn't have any of John.

#mclennon #john lennon #paul mccartney #y'all im so sorry its so long idk what this even is 😩

[undying-love]

Paul's stepsister calls John Paul's "wife"

"Paul and the world had just lost someone very dear to them. I had lost my Uncle John, the myopic, misunderstood, manipulative, mystifying Mop-Top who had helped me to learn to ride a bicycle; Julian and Sean had lost a father; Cynthia, her knight in shining armour; Yoko, a fellow artist, contemporary and house husband...and Paul? Well, call me crazy, but he lost the wife. I’m certainly not implying anything of a carnal nature here, but to almost all intents and porpoises (as John would have put it), what they had was a marriage. Mark David Chapman’s selfish quest for his Warhol-esque fifteen minutes of fame was the fatal wound to an injured relationship that had lasted almost 23 years. This unconventional partnership, much like a paradigmatic marriage, had endured its sundry situations...its honeymoon period; its seven year itch; the adoption of its offspring by Northern Songs and some time foster parent Michael Jackson; the tender temptations of Jane, Cynthia, Yoko, Linda, May Pang and others. [...] On the February 9, 1964, Ed Sullivan shone the proverbial light on the viewing public. The long night was over. The Beatles had conquered America. For the next two and a half years, John and Paul, (together with George and Ringo), would travel, eat, rehearse, write, play, record and “sleep“ (again, not literally) together." ---Ruth McCartney

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"Honeymoon period", "the tender temptations of Jane, Cynthia, Yoko, Lina, May Pang", "they would 'sleep'(not literally) together", "Im certainly not implying anything carnal here"......JESUS

Source: https://articles.absoluteelsewhere.net/Articles/ruth_mccartney.html

#mclennon #insane #jesus

[luvly-writer]

XOXO

Ch. 14 A broken heart is fixed by another

-•-

Author’s note: I am so so sorry for the delay, i really took my vacations to relax and enjoy the time i had with my family and friends. I finally got to sit down and make this chapter. Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Fighting and yelling

Taglist: @w31rdg1rl @mxtokko @loonymoonystuff @granstrangerphanthom @1lellykins @cangosleepnow @dreamspectrum @its-maemain @tamimemo @nightw-izhu @trasshy-artist @gabriiiiiiii

masterlist:

-•-

To admit that my father had shaken me up a little would tear apart a bit of my ego. I mean, all my life I have been going head to head with the man yet not once had I gone as far as I had now. I had sent a text to Tim, telling him that I would be spending Christmas Eve having dinner with my family to which he responded worriedly that if anything went wrong, the doors to the Wayne manor were always open. I finish getting ready for the dinner and call Donnie. Oh Donnie, he has been my driver ever since I was a child and constantly took me under his wing. I grab the bag that holds the presents I had bought the day I met Tim and take out Donnie’s. It was my small tradition with my family’s staff, every year on Christmas Eve, I would buy them a present as gratitude for the year of service. I had begun it when I was 13 and hadn’t stopped ever since. I see him waiting for me once I gather everything I need and open the door. He steps out of the car and opens the door for me showing me a small bouquet of my favorite flowers waiting for me next to where I usually sit.

“Oh Donnie, you are a sweetheart! Thank you so much!” I say and hug him once I stash all of my families presents in the trunk. I give him his present and smile as he gasps of joy. Long time ago, Donnie had told him that he had exchanged his silver harmonica for a watch for his wife. Unbeknownst to him, his wife had done the same thing and exchanged her locket for a case for his harmonica. In front of him sat a beautiful silver harmonica and a gorgeous golden locket, I had been able to track their missing belongings and bought and polished them for them. I feel Donnie shake as he brings me in for a hug and I don’t mention the tears that soak my coat. “Happy Christmas, Donnie, to you and Linda” I hug him tighter and smile. “happy Christmas, miss Vanderbilt!” He says smiling and we both get in the car. The ride to Vanderbilt mansion was pleasant at best. He had decided to give an update on how my family have been. Aurora and my mother had moved to the West wing ever since the debutants ball. My sister was enraged about the selling of my painting and was doing almost every she could to find a way to buy it back. My mother was doing her best to help her in that. Charlisse and my father remained in the east wing. Charisse what stayed trying to keep father company but it was no use, he has been stuck in his study the entire time and only seemed to go out for supper. Not only that, my grandmother’s plane had been delayed due to the weather conditions and she was not going to be present until who knows when. That bit of news is what dulled me the most I think. It was no secret I was my grandmother’s favorite and it would have been a relief to have someone my father can’t control.

Finally, we arrive. Donnie opens my door and helps me carry my presents inside. There, Dorothy, my maid, takes them and goes to place them under the tree. “wait! Thea!” I say and she stops looking at me, waiting for my response. I take the bags and pull out three gifts. I put two in my purse and give the las one to her, “Happy Christmas, Thya!” I say with a big smile. She gives me a hearty laugh and wishes me a happy Christmas. She also tells me that I will find her present for me in my room. I smile and go on a search for my favorite butler. I find him ordering the kitchen staff around for the dinner and give him his present whilst wishing him a Happy Christmas. I give him a hug and run upstairs to drop my coat. In my bed, two beautiful presents are laid. I place the flowers in my nightstand and open them. Dorothy gave a three books, one of Monet, one of Van Gogh and another on Da Vinci; and Bartie gave me a gorgeous knitted sweater with a kite saying his wife made it for me. I hug all of my presents and decide to finally show up at the dining room, knowing my father will be impatient by now.

Before I enter the dinner, I straighten my back and wipe my dress making sure everything is perfect. Finally, Bartie opens the door and announces my arrival. Aurora comes straight away towards my and hugs me tightly. She whispers in my ear, “I miss you baby sis..and no matter what happens today, I am on your side!” She pulls away and smiles at me. Mom walks towards me next almost cautiously, last time we had spoken I had not been that welcoming towards her. I open my arms and she releases a sigh and envelopes me in her arms. “Hi, my little pearl, Merry Christmas” she says as she squeezes me tightly. “Mom! You are leaving me without air” I laugh out causing Aurora and my mother to laugh. Next is Charlisse. She squeezes me in a big hug and tries to ruffle my hair. I deflect it with a laugh and pat it down. Finally I meet my father’s gaze.

“Father”

“Y/n”

We stay staring at each other until, Mark, Aurora’s husband coughs and I look at him. He gives me a big hug and we laugh. Charlisse’s husband, Antoine, raises a glass at me and gives me a wink. I roll my eyes at him and discreetly give him the middle finger. He laughs, choking on his drink and nods in approval. They both have always been like my older brothers. Finally, we begin and sit down to eat. Like always, Dorothy, Bartie, and Donnie, with some of the other staff, sit down to eat with us in order to celebrate the festivities. We begin mindless chatter around the table as we eat. Even though it’s still a little tense between my father and I, we engage in some conversation. We finish dinner and change into the living room.

Everything was going perfect, until it wasn’t.

I was telling Charlisse about the ski trips with Tim when my father lets out a displeased grunt. We ignore him for the most part until he interrupts. “Where is Timothy by the way? Is he not supposed to be your boyfriend?” I turn to him and narrow my eyes. “Whatever you are implying father, it is far from that. You specifically told me tonight was about family and that I couldn’t bring him” I defend and he glares at me, “I am sure that would have not stopped a real gentleman, for example, Francis would have come and joined us” he said waiting for my reaction. I catch Charlisse scrunch up her nose in distaste. During the last few weeks, my sisters and I had a conference call where they asked about Mr. Morris. Aparantly my sisters had no knowledge of how much of a creepy man he was. Charlisse thought my father was just going to the extremes in order to push me towards the family business and was even entertained by me defying my father’s authority, but once she had heard everything, she was no longer amused. “Father, I don’t believe that is exactly fair for Y/n” Charlisse began but was interrupted by my father screaming, “I say what is fair in this household and Y/n has done nothing to honor our family name! She has only raked it through the mud parading with that boy toy of hers and engaging in activity unfit for a Vanderbilt!”

“I hardly think it’s something to shame her father, she was just having a little fun” tried Charlisse again and Aurora continued with “She’s young and in love, that’s all”

Our father was positively fuming. “You see what you have caused, Y/n. Your little act of rebellion has caused your sisters to step out of line and it might cause them their future titles. We wouldn’t want that, would we?” He said darkly looking at both of my sisters who shrunk under his gaze and gave me an apologetic smile.

“Don’t be unfair on the girl, William.” My mother tried to intervene when I interrupted her,

“Oh so I am a little rebel now! Is that what you are calling it?!?! Is that what you call anyone that doesn’t bend to your every will just because heaven forbid William Vanderbilt doesn’t get what he wants!?” I yell back and my father’s fury rises once again

“Enough! It’s Christmas Eve, for heaven’s sake! We are spending time as a family and these matters should be left for later!” My mother tried once again but it wasn’t enough.

“You are young, Y/n, there are many things that you don’t understand-“

“And you are old father, there are many things you have forgotten!” I responded looking at him dead in the eyes

“What is that supposed to mean?” He got closer to me, my mother was doing her best to push him back and Antoine and Mark stood up, ready for anything that was to come.

“You are selfish, arrogant, and cruel. You believe that everything should be done according to your plans yet you forget that we are our own people! We should live how we like and love who we want and be who we choose to be. You push your precious hotel agenda so far down our throats that you suffocate us! The only thing you do is push our family apart instead of bringing it together. I remember you used to tell us how much you hated your dad for forcing you to take on the company yet yOU DO THE SAME DAMN THING TO US!” I threw in his face and then snapped my hand to my mouth. My sisters gasped and my mother looked between my father and me. Everyone stood still for a moment. That wasn’t a subject we never brought up.

“Leave.” Was all my father said and it was the restraint in his body that made me run. I grabbed my purse, took a random coat from the closet and ran out of the manor. I could hear people calling out my name and yelling at my father but I paid no mind to it, I just ran. It was freezing, snow had begun falling and I was just in my short dress and heals. I knew Wayne manor was close so I just ran and ran until I got to its shiny golden gates. There I pressed the buzzer as many times as I could until I heard a posh British accent answer, “Yes?”

“H-h-hi A-a-Alfred, is T-t-Tim the-ere?” I asked, shivering.

“Goodness miss, YN, what are you doing in the snow! Master Tim! There’s an urgent matter you need to attend to, come quick!” Alfred said rapidly recognizing my voice and opened the gate. I began the long walk it takes to get to the manor and in the distance I see a body open the door. It starts to run towards me as I get closer and closer. Finally, it clears up and I recognize that shadow to be Tim.

“Fuck, angel what are you doing here at this hour and under so much snow, come on let’s get you inside” he says as he drapes another coat on me and picked me up. “I didn’t know where else to go…” I said softly and he squeezes me harder. I don’t know if it was because how much I am shaking or because of what I said.

Quickly I am taken in and brought to Tim’s room. He places me in the toilet and begins heating a bath for me.

“There you go, I’ll go get you a few things to change into later, see if Steph, Babs or Cass has something that can fit you” he says and is about to leave when i realize I don’t want to be alone right now, “Tim…”

“Yes?” He says turning back to me and looks at me, worry clouding his eyes.

“Can you stay with me?” I ask and he stiffened, suddenly I remember our situation and what I am asking of him, “never mind, sorry if I-“

“Let me get everything that you might need and I’ll be right back, okay? I’ll come back” he says softly.

The bath fills up and stops suddenly, I begin to shed the layers of coats I have until I am left only in my soaking dress. I am about to take it off when I realize the zipper is frozen and it is getting difficult for me to take it off. I struggle for a few seconds until Tim arrives again.

“I got you some pants and socks from Babs and a shirt and clean underwear from Steph. I also have many sweaters you can borrow. They are in the bed and here are some shampoos, conditioners, bath bombs, soaps and essential oils. Let me place some on the tub, Alfred said they can help you not get sick and help your body relax and recover as well. Why aren’t you our of your dress?” He rambles as he pours the liquids until he sees my struggling figure.

“It’s stuck and ruined” I say still, struggling.

“Let me help you, angel” he says softly. I turn around and feel his warm fingers on my shoulders. He ties my hair up and behind to tug the zipper down as careful as he can. Once it’s open, he turns around and lets me take the rest of my clothes off. I sink in the tub and almost moan out of relief. The warmth starting to seep into my bones.

“You can turn around, Timmy” I say laughing softly at his stiff and awkward posture, “the bubbles cover me quite well”

He turns around slowly and sits on top of the toilet. I can see his face red with embarrassment and muffle a giggle with my hand. He looks positively adorable. His eyes take in my face with soft adoration.

“What happened, angel?” He asks softly. I let out a sigh and sink completely into the bath. Thankfully the tub is big enough to still cover me completely. When I come back up, I see Tim rolling his sleeve and pouring shampoo in his hands. He pulls a stool to get sit closer to me in the bathroom and softly whispers “come here”

I get closer, changing positions and giving him my back. As he begins to wash my hair with utter care and devotion I begin to tell him everything that happened. He makes sure to listen to every single one of my woes and hums in response as he works the tangles out of my hair and massages my scalp. He rinses and gets the conditioner and I continue my rant. Somewhere along the line, I begin to cry, exhausted by both the emotions of the day and the horrible walk here. He rinses again and begins to pour soap into his hands. He whispers softly, “may I?” And I nod as he begins to massage my neck and shoulders. I finish my account and just numbly state at the wall.

“Well, you are safe now, safe and warm. We have an amazing feast going on, Alfred’s treat if you are hungry. They just started the movie marathon and soon we will be playing a bunch of board games, so there’s that. Alfred said you are lucky to have gotten here so fast cause the storm got stronger and we are most probably snowed in, which you don’t have to worry about because we have a lot of guest bedrooms. You are alright okay” he speaks rinsing the soap out of his hand, “and I’ll stay here as long as you need me here.” He gives me a soft kiss on the head.

We stayed there for a while until I decided to get out finally feeling warm enough and relaxed. He hands me a towel and leads me to his room where he turns around and let’s me chance into everything. I ask him for a sweater and he searches for one and and tells me to guard it because it is his favorite as he winks. That gets a laugh out of me. Finally we head downstairs where Steph bolts and gives me a hug, “girl! Next time call Tim! Don’t walk around in the snow alone!!” She says making me smile sheepishly. Everyone speaks in agreement. The Wayne’s hold a very special place in my heart and their worry for me just secures that place even more.

“So, Tim said movies and game night, Jason, Damian, ready to get your asses beat by me again?” I ask smiling and Jason looks insulted whilst Damian scoffs half heartedly and responds, “you wish!” As the rest holler.

We spend the rest of the night watching Christmas movies and playing board games and I laugh so hard the evening I almost forget the events prior to this evening. Once we all retire, Tim starts walking me to one of the guest rooms. I hesitate before going in…I really don’t want to spend the night alone knowing that I have probably been casted as an outsider by my father and shunned from the family. It must have been visible in my face because Tim puts his hand out and says, “you can spend the night in my room, I don’t mind”

I take his hand and he leads me back to his room where an extra toothbrush is set. We wash our teeth and both get under the covers, each on one side of the bed. I try to get some sleep but the shudder from the cold returns. I try to contain it as much as possible so that I don’t wake Tim. Suddenly I feel a hand get a hold of my waist and pull me towards a body.

“You’re freezing, come here” he says and i whisper a small thanks.

“It’s a surprise you are going to bed, Timmy” I say and he must have understood the implications of my statement cause he answers, “Crime usually lowers these days because of the holidays and the excessive cold so we don’t usually patrol around this time as much. Bruce might go out and sometimes one of us if we want but it is rarely the case so this is the one time a year we get to lay back and relax.” I feel him murmur into the crook of my neck. He wraps his arms around me and cuddles closer to me, “plus, I always sleep better when you are around so why would I waste a chance like that” he says and I feel my face warm up. I take one of his hands and bring it to my lips giving it a soft kiss and say, “thank you for everything, Timmy.” In return, he squeezes me harder and says, “Merry Christmas, angel”.

And we both fall asleep into a blissful slumber.

-•-

#batfamily #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #batman #batfam #cassandra cain #alfred pennyworth #stephanie brown #damian wayne #duke thomas #bruce wayne #batfamily social media #batfam dc #batfamily x you #batfam x you #batfam socialmedia au #batfamily x reader #batfam x reader #batfam imagine #batfam au #dc batman #tim drake x fem!reader #tim drake x you #tim drake x reader #tim drake imagine #tim drake x y/n #dc social media au #dc reader insert #dcau

[colleendoran]

An answer

I'm not going to post the question because I don't want the person who asked it to get piled on.

The magical art fairy did not give me a great and grand education that my mommy and daddy paid for.

My parents were poor and at one point homeless. They lived in a pigeon coop. With pigeons.

I was not super popular in school. I was a nerd in the dark days before being a nerd was something people aspired to. I had braces, glasses, bad acne and was a bit chubby. When I no longer had any of these things (well, I still wear glasses, I prefer them to contacts,) people acted like I always looked that way and sailed the seas of success on a wave of appearance advantages.

My parents did not pay for my education. I went to regular school like everyone else. I had one year of college which I attended on academic scholarship, and I majored in business. I had an art class with a professor who almost never showed up. When the scholarship money ran out after one year, I left.

After I'd been a professional artist for more than twenty years, I took an online digital art class at one of those for profit art schools, which was quite a trick on dial up speed, I must say. Shortly after, I realized it was a scam, I contacted the administration to demand my money back. I got it. The school was eventually sued into oblivion and went out of business.

I did manual field labor as a kid, worked in a veterinarian hospital, parked cars, and ran a roller coaster. I picked up dog poop and did volunteer work at the U.S.O. and the AIDS Housing and Education Fund. I worked as a condo association attendant.

I don't know where people get the impression that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. And it's not like I don't have some advantages. But money and status weren't among them.

Most of the people in comics from my generation come from poverty. Some didn't. But most did.

I am self taught and most of what I learned was from the Famous Artist Course books my mom got as a kid. I was very grateful that my dad invested in a set of encyclopedias for the family when we were still quite poor. I devoured them.

I started sending out portfolio work, story ideas, and resumes at age 12. My first rejection letter was from Random House. I got my first advertising gig when I was about 14-15. The woman who hired me was Linda Wesley Salake.

I met artist Frank Kelly Freas at a science fiction convention I found out about from an advertisement. He was very kind and mentored me. He didn't teach me much about art, but he did teach me a lot about the realities of the art centered life.

I cooked and cleaned house for him after his wife Polly died.

My average income for my first ten years as a professional artist was less than $10,000. And for part of that time, I was not living with my parents. So I supported myself on less than $10,000.

Eventually, I lasted long enough in the arts that I started making some money. Then things got worse. Then they got better. Then they got worse. Then they got better.

Advantages, contacts, ability - none of that is distributed equally. But if you can, make art because it is something that means something to you, and it gives you joy.

And we all deserve some joy.

If it was just about the money, I'd have ditched this bug bin long ago.

That's all.

#comics #art #art centered life

[thecoleopterawithana]

Partners

I was re-watching the individual Beatles being inducted to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and this little bit at the end of Paul's induction gave me pause. Starting at the 5:15 mark, they play a lovely montage of Paul and Linda moments, 'Little Willow' in the background:

His partner in all of this was his wife Linda. Theirs was a great love story. McCartney always maintained that his greatest accomplishment was not the Beatles, or his knighthood, or being the most successful songwriter of the century; his greatest accomplishment was the family he and Linda raised.

They had lost Linda just the previous April, so the moment was especially touching. With all the emphasis on Paul's family life, I must confess that I was surprised by the next (and final) sentence:

With John Lennon, and then with Linda, Paul McCartney has remained true to one message above all others: in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

I find it fascinating that even here — in a Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony, in 1999 — John and Linda are lumped into the same category. And because we're immediately following the previous section of the speech, which very much emphasized the personal (rather than the artistic) side of things, the category John and Linda are being lumped into sounds more like that of Paul's marital partners, and not just his creative ones.

It's always good to see outsiders follow John and Paul's lead in placing each other in the same frame of reference as their other spouses!

#(partner is such a wonderful all-encompassing word!) #The Beatles #John Lennon #Paul McCartney #Linda McCartney #that Paul and John business #it's like a marriage #the person I actually picked as my partner #johnny #macca #video #1999 #my stuff

[laurolive]

Paul and Linda, a collection of PDAs: Part 1 - Kisses

In our walk down the memory lane of Paul and Linda’s love story, which still captivates the romantics and the expressive artists out there, we start with an excerpt of an interview.

Rolling Stone cover June 17, 1976: “Yesterday, Today, and Paul.” In this interview, Paul says something interesting:

I mean, I kissed Linda onstage the other night, and for me, that’s kind of, ‘Wow, I must be getting real relaxed,’ ’cause I can’t do that in public, normally. I’m a bit kinda shy.

Paul McCartney shy about showing affection? Well, artists are certainly a different breed. He can sing a heartfelt love song in a venue full of people, but has to work up the courage to give his wife a little kiss? As photos will tell, he soon got over that quirk.

And even before this RS interview, he could certainly be demonstrative when a photographer or videographer was around, whereas the average person would be more guarded knowing that their tender moment would soon be out there as a picture in a magazine or a video clip on TV (we’re talking pre-internet days here).

RS Interview from The Paul McCartney Project

The 1970s: Not Exactly in Public, but There Must Be Someone Holding The Camera

1970 or 1971. Aww, so sweet.

June 1971 The video for the song “Heart of The Country” was made in Scotland. Is that a kiss? We might have to examine the still pic below. 

June 1971 A still image from the “Heart of The Country” video. I’ll count this as a kiss.

1974 In the garden of their house with baby Stella between them. It’s a published pic, so I’m counting it as a public kiss. (An “almost-kiss” but close enough.)

1974 Photoshoot for the Apr. 7, 1974, issue of New York News magazine. The cover story was "Just an Old Fashioned Beatle: An Exclusive Visit with Linda and Paul McCartney." Aww, lips softly touching the cheek is something I’m going to classify as a kiss.

Magazine article: @johnflyons.beatles on instagram

Post-1970s: Now We’re Really in Public

Sept. 21, 1982, at Linda's first photography exhibition in London. Photo © Robert Rosen. Rosen talks about the snap in this excerpt from an interview with I-D magazine:

What's one photo you're really proud of? Robert Rosen: I love the shot of Paul and Linda McCartney kissing. As soon as I had it developed I just thought, wow, I did that. I sent them a print but didn't hear anything more until a few months later, when, Paul and Linda turned up to a gallery event I happened to be at. At one point, Linda tapped me on the shoulder and said, 'Are you ignoring us?' She gave me a big hug and told me they loved the photo. That obviously meant a great deal to me.

From The Guardian archive, 21 September 1982: First London exhibition for Linda McCartney

I-D Interview with Robert Rosen Sept. 20, 2017

November 26, 1982, in Paris, France during photography month. An exhibition of Linda’s photographs was part of the event. Okay, his lips are just grazing her hair, so I’m going to call this a “hair kiss.”

Feb. 8, 1983 The 1983 British Record Industry Awards. Paul gets a congratulatory kiss from Linda after winning the 1982 British Male Solo Artist award and the Sony Trophy Award For Technical Excellence. The Beatles won the Outstanding Contribution to Music award.

More pics: The Paul McCartney Project

The same 1983 British Record Industry Awards. Two kisses in one night! Paul can’t hide his surprise.

Nov. 28, 1984 Another congratulatory kiss from Linda as Paul is presented with the Roll of Honorary Freedom of the City of Liverpool.

October 16, 1986 British Video Awards at Grosvenor House Hotel, London.

Rupert and The Frog Song awarded the Best Selling Video of 1985

April 4, 1989 Ivor Novello Awards at The Grosvenor House Hotel. Paul wins, Linda gets a kiss (so they both win 😊).

July 29, 1990 Backstage during the Paul McCartney World Tour 89/90 at Soldier Field Chicago. Linda is bidding farewell to Paul as she heads for the dressing room and he to the press tent.

From I Saw Him Standing There, Jorie B. Gracen, 2000. @thebeatlesofoz2 on Instagram

April 27, 1994 Press Conference for Linda's Home Style Cooking at Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Beverly Hills, California. Paul comes out to endorse Linda’s book, and greets her with a kiss.

Video clip of Paul’s entrance from CelebrityFootage.com

1997 from the video for the song “The World Tonight”

1997 A kiss in the studio, from the documentary In The World Tonight.

Let’s see the whole sequence of that kiss, right from the beginning:

Bonus: Wedding Kisses March 12, 1969

You go Linda! Give your groom a kiss like the cameras aren’t around.

Everyone’s relationship dream: Get someone to look at you the way Linda looks at Paul here.

#Youtube #paul mccartney #linda mccartney #linda and paul #paul and linda romantic #paul and linda mccartney #paul and linda forever #linda louise mccartney #linda mccartney and wings #linda eastman mccartney #paul and linda #lovely linda

[loupy-mongoose]

Hello, welcome to my blog! Where I draw often and ramble about my characters. Please know and respect that I have hyper-fixations, and may change what I'm interested in.

If the links don't work for you, click and drag them to your URL bar. You should be able to use them that way.

CLICK HERE for a guide to my speech bubbles.

CHRONO LINKS:

If it was done correctly, THIS should be the main body of the story in one Chrono link.

General:

My Artworks

Comics (Mostly Non-ask)

Relating to the Original Mewtwo (Nicodemus)

Specific Story Focuses (Sorted Chronologically):

Lab Arc (HEAVY SUBJECT MATTER and IMPLIED DEATH WARNING toward the end!))

Pregnancy with the Twins

Midas and Monique

Lav and Mewtwo Meeting

Jerry

Relating to Rosemary

By Lavender's Hand (Randy's "Ghostification"--DEATH WARNING toward the end!)

Side blog dedicated to Nico and Jovie's story

Pokemon IRL Side Blog meant as a Slice of Life blog run by my Trainer, Jamie Wild Rennard.

Please read THIS If you're lost on their relations,and THIS for a rundown of Randall's situation.

My ToyHouse Characters page, where you can look at my characters' profiles! (A lot of stuff is a work in progress.) Names below also link to their specific pages.

My blog is home to the story Linden Roots. Randall Linden was once human, but through a horrific mishap, his memories were taken in by his friend, a Mew named Mo. Mo, having his own memories overwritten by Randy's, now lives Randy's life in his place.

Randy lives in Paldea with his shiny Mew Mate/Wife Akoya, her Mewtwo daughter Lavender, their twin Mew children Momo and Midas, and Akoya's half-brother Persim. Others in the household include Sulfur the shiny Lucario, Linda the shiny Roserade, Tol the shiny Chimecho, and Jerry the Pichu.

While he and his family are generally friendly and open to questions, Randy is sensitive about the events surrounding him becoming a Mew.

I do want to warn that this story touches on heavy and potentially uncomfortable subjects. I appreciate interaction, but please respect my artistic decisions. Thank you!

If you'd like to read the story of getting Akoya IRL, click here.

Voice Claims with samples here if anyone's interested. :3

This project is meant to be for fun, primarily my own. I will not be able to answer every question, and will prioritize the ones I find most fun, interesting, or an immediate concern. (Or, on some occasions, use answers as foreshadowing :3)

If anyone's interested, I also have a Twitter and a DeviantART, though I haven't been very active on them recently.

Because people have asked me before, I currently have no interest in doing commissions.

For my character references, click "Keep Reading"

The mod's 'sona/s:

NOTE: Randy has now transformed into his new look, so the old refs are largely obsolete. (Human form is physically the same except for his head.)

I plan to make some new, up-to-date refs for EVERYONE come 2024, but for now I'll throw in some makeshift refs for his new look.

(Old obsolete Randy here)

(New form)

Timeline and Family tree:

How Lavender is different from other Mewtwos:

#Pokemon #Mew #Mewtwo #Shiny #Randall #Akoya #Lavender #Linden Roots #art #babbies #branch #Jerry #mite

[franklyimissparis]

11, 15, 17, 20 (Beates Asks)

11. Favorite Beatles fan fic writer/artist?

oooo it’s so hard to choose just one but some of my all-time fave beatles fanfic writers are @econhomework @javelinbk @glowing-gold @merseydreams @boshemians , kathleenishereagain, mynamesbetty, moonjockey, inspiteallthedanger, obstinatrix, dornfelder, jpgr1963 (sorry couldn’t find everyone’s tumblr handle) i’m certain that as soon as i post this i’ll remember like 10 other authors i adore but these are some off the top of my head

15. Would you marry a Beatles (ex)wife given the chance? Which one?

honestly i would marry most of the beatles wives given the chance but i think i’d probably be most compatible with linda mccartney (and i’ve always gotten a queer vibe from her) loveeeee my photographer wife 🫶🫶

17. If you could change only one event in the Beatles history (1960-1970) which event would you change?

kind of a basic answer but i think preventing brian’s death is probably the obvious choice for me personally. not just because i think he deserved to live a lot longer but also just in the hopes that him living would change things enough to hopefully prevent john’s death as well and make the (still probably inevitable) eventual disbandment of the beatles a lot smoother and preserve the lennon/mccartney partnership/personal relationship in the process.

20. What’s your most controversial Beatles opinion?

hmm this depends heavily on who is finding my opinion controversial 😭 like i mean if we’re talking controversial to the general public it’s probably just that john lennon was undoubtedly queer/in love with paul and it very well could have been reciprocated. if we’re talking about controversial to younger beatles fans/the tik tok and twitter fans it’s probably that trying to cancel john/spam people who speak positively about him with hate while calling the other beatles ‘unproblematic’ makes you look dumb and uninformed. all of them are ‘problematic’ - i also think that fundamentally they were all good people even if they all fucked up, cheated on their partners, had some instances of violence, and have made insensitive remarks. and the more you actually learn about all four men, the more this becomes apparent. none of them were saints but none of them were the devil either. and pitting john against the others as the ‘evil’ one is a very unnuanced take.

#thanks for the ask anon <33 #the beatles #paul mccartney #john lennon #george harrison #linda mccartney #brian epstein #ringo starr

[penny-hartzs]

okay i gotta ask because i live for messy drama, what's the newest tea about joe and taylor 👀 👀 👀

Oh there's so much messiness going on! I'm going to need @alwayshuffy to add anything I might have missed but basically this is what went down in the last 24(ish) hours:

Taylor absolutely dominated Spotify Wrapped and was the most streamed artist of the year (queen). To thank the fans she officially released You're Losing Me, a break up song from the Midnights vault that is absolutely devastating.

Since we had already heard You're Losing Me a few months ago, after the break up was announced, we had also assumed it was written during the last few months of her relationship with Joe, when she was already mourning the loss even if they hadn't made it official.

THEN. Jack Antonoff uploaded this story:

WHICH MEANS THAT TAYLOR WROTE THIS DEVASTATING BREAK UP SONG WHERE SHE IS LITERALLY BEGGING HER PARTNER TO WAKE UP AND CHOOSE HER TWO WHOLE YEARS AGO. And she STAYED in that dying relationship for so long after she had already spelled it out for him that he's going to lose her if he doesn't risk anything and he kept being apathetic, aloof and distant.

Mind you, I was one of the people who thought hating on Joe was immature and silly because even if the relationship had run its course, they made each other happy for quite a while and people break up all the time. But now with all this new information, I'm definitely not cutting him any slack, the man is a loser who should have ended the relationship way earlier or stepped the fuck up.

Additional messiness I just found out: Taylor liked a quote from Paul McCartney (love how she's a Beatles stan, same girl) that heavily implies that her love song Sweet Nothing was actually inspired by Paul's relationship with his late wife Linda and not Joe, despite what we all thought.

That's basically it I think. Never a dull moment in swiftie land. I hope she keeps parading her new man around for as long as she wants and drinks all the cocktails from the stands at the football games

#taylor swift #it's been quite the day

[iridescentxstars]

ೃ⁀➷ 𝐊𝐞𝐲: [M] — Mature content/warnings | 🌹 — NSFW | ✨ — Rewritten | 🌸 — Recommended

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫-𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐲. 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟖, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞.

This masterlist ONLY contains scenarios, any drabbles or series written for this idol will be located in the following masterlists coloured pink.

ೃ⁀➷ Kim Jongin | BangChan | On-Going Series | Completed Series | Drabbles | Misc

ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟕

[ ✧.* ] Mr And Mrs Claus — idol!jongin x reader 🌹

ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟖

[ ✧.* ] His Baby Bear — idol!jongin x reader [ ✧.* ][M] Dr Jongin & Mr Kai — therapist!jongin x reader [due to be rewritten] 🌹✨ [ ✧.* ][M] Love Shot — mafia!jongin x reader [due to be rewritten] 🌹✨ [ ✧.* ][M] So Good At Being Bad — gang!jongin x lawyer!reader [due to be rewritten] 🌹🌸✨ [ ✧.* ] Summer Love And Ice Cream Kisses — neighbour!jongin x neighbour!reader 🌹 [ ✧.* ] When In Paris — idol!jongin x reader 🌹

ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟗

[ ✧.* ][M] Pack Laws — werewolf!jongin x reader [due to be rewritten] 🌹🌸✨ [ ✧.* ][M] The Mer King — mer!jongin x pirate!reader [due to be rewritten] 🌹🌸✨ [ ✧.* ][M] Devilishly Innocent — escort!jongin x ceo!reader [due to be rewritten] 🌹✨ [ ✧.* ] Beg For It — demon!jongin x reader 🌹🌸 [ ✧.* ][M] Cupid's Arrow — god!jongin x reader 🌹 [ ✧.* ] Til Death Do Us Part — spy!jongin x spy!reader 🌹 [ ✧.* ] Our Queen — guard!jongin x queen!reader x sorcerer!kai 🌹🌸 [ ✧.* ] Picture Perfect — model!jongin x photographer!reader [due to be rewritten]🌹🌸✨ [ ✧.* ] A Little Bit Of Naughty & Nice — demon!baekhyun x reader angel!jongin 🌹 [ ✧.* ] NSFW A-Z

ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎

[ ✧.* ] Happy Accidents — fox!jongin x witch!reader 🌹 [ ✧.* ] Glad You Came — idol!jongin x reader [ ✧.* ] Strings Attached — soulmate!jongin x soulmate!reader [@danseurehonte] [ ✧.* ] It's Always You — idol!jongin x reader [@danseurehonte] [ ✧.* ] Love Is Blind — businessman!jongin x cafe owner!reader | businessman!jongin x businesswoman!jessica [side] [ ✧.* ][M] The Cursed Prince [part one] [part two] [part three] — fae prince!jongin x reader 🌹🌸 [ ✧.* ] Saudade — soulmate!jongin x soulmate!reader [ ✧.* ][M] Bittersweet Intimacy — best friend!jongin x parent!reader 🌹 [ ✧.* ] They Call Him The Heartbreak Kid — fuckboy!jongin x parent!linda [ ✧.* ] Let The World Burn — necromancer!jongin x undead!reader [ ✧.* ][M] Red Riding Hood — werewolf!jongin x vampire!unnamed oc 🌹 [ ✧.* ] My Kings — guard!jongin x queen!reader x sorcerer!kai 🌹🌸 [ ✧.* ] Seeing Double — dancer!jongin x dancer!reader x artist!kai 🌹 [ ✧.* ][M] Dark Desires — incubus!jongin x succubus!reader 🌹🌸 [ ✧.* ] Love Thy Neighbour — werewolf!jongin x reader x werewolf!kai 🌹🌸 [ ✧.* ] It's My Turn — werewolf!kai x reader 🌹 [ ✧.* ][M] Ambivalence — idol!jongin x manager!alice 🌹🌸 [ ✧.* ] Call Me Baby — ceo!jongin x wife!reader 🌹 [ ✧.* ] Twist Of Fate — adonis!jongin x aphrodite!helena x ares!kai 🌹 [ ✧.* ] The Sorcerer's Charm — sorcerer!jongin x witch!reader 🌹

ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏

[ ✧.* ][M] Experiment Z — soldier!jongin x soldier!reader [ ✧.* ] Forbidden Sweetness — co-worker!jongin x reader 🌹

#iridescentxstars © #scenario ; jongin #mlist ; jongin

[kmomof4]

A Christmas Surprise- NEW CHAPTER!!

Summary: Elsa Jones enlists her friend Emma Swan to come up with a scheme to surprise her niece Alice Jones when her Papa, Killian, returns from deployment just in time for Christmas.

If you're thinking this fic sounds familiar, you're right! I originally wrote this fic two years ago, but last year an idea came to me of how I could continue the story. It was too close to Christmas last year to get it done, so I wrote this addition last spring and it's been waiting for December to get here so I could post it!! I still think this fic is the cutest thing I've ever written and I hope you enjoy this continuation. The addition turned out to be much too long, so I divided it up into three chs. The next ch will post on Tuesday with the final ch posting next Friday.

On ao3 from the beginning/ current ch

Words: 5225 of 18,550

Rating: G, total Christmas fluff ahead!!!

All the love and thanks to @jrob64 and @snowbellewells for being the best betas out there. I so hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

Tagging the usuals. Please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed.

@teamhook @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @artistic-writer @xarandomdreamx @undercaffinatednightmare @the-darkdragonfly @stahlop @superchocovian @pirateprincessofpizza @tiganasummertree @anmylica @cosette141 @motherkatereloyshipper @zaharadessert @jonesfandomfanatic @ultraluckycatnd @jennjenn615 @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 @kymbersmith-90 @booksteaandtoomuchtv @wistfulcynic @mie779 @lfh1226-linda @aprilqueen84 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @pirateherokillian @elfiola @ilovemesomekillianjones @justanother-unluckysoul @poptart-cat-78 @myfearless-love @goforlaunchcee @searchingwardrobes @gingerpolyglot @gingerchangeling @djlbg @cocohook38 @cs-rylie @thisonesatellite @donteattheappleshook @deckerstarblanche @veryverynotgoodwrites @wefoundloveunderthelight @fleurdepetite @alexa-fangirl-forever @bluewildcatfanatic

@qualitycoffeethings

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

Killian Jones sat in the darkness of the giant present in which he was hiding, waiting for his daughter’s Christmas program to begin. He couldn’t wait to see his starfish when he surprised her after she sang her solo this evening. He was proud to serve his country, but the long deployments made things especially difficult. Having Liam and Elsa so close by and willing to care for Alice when he was gone was a blessing he didn’t take for granted in the least, but he was so thankful that he was home for good now and was eligible to retire in just a few more months. 

Which made him think about what would come next. What the future might hold and how the lovely Emma Swan might fit into it. He’d been thoroughly gobsmacked when he laid eyes on the golden haired beauty who was Alice’s teacher when he arrived at the school earlier. And then the revelation that she was single sent his heart rate ratcheting up like he hadn’t experienced since he’d met his late wife. It had been six years since he’d lost his beloved Milah, and the thought of re-entering the dating scene hadn’t crossed his mind once in all that time. He was still relatively young and handsome, but with his very young daughter and Navy career, he didn’t have the time or inclination to put himself back out there.

But Emma Swan might just change his mind on that front.

He knew his countenance sported a goofy, thoroughly besotted smile when he heard movement on the outside of the box in which he sat. Bright light from the auditorium flooded the dark space as the small door in the side of it opened, helping him immensely in the schooling of his features before being confronted with the object of his thoughts as she handed him his dinner.

“Do you have enough light to see to eat in here?” Emma asked, looking around.

Killian grimaced. He hadn’t really thought of that. “Perhaps not.” 

“I can stay for a bit while you eat, turn the flashlight on on my phone. So you can see to eat,” she stammered. The blush on her cheeks was adorable, and Killian’s heart rate picked up yet again.

“That would be great. Thank you, Emma.”

She smiled as she moved into the space with him. It was a bit cramped with them both sitting on the floor, but he didn’t mind it at all. He tucked into his Christmas meal of roast turkey and dressing, mashed potatoes, green beans and cranberry salad as Emma told him about some of the antics Henry, Alice, and her cousins had gotten up to this semester.

She told him about Liam Jr and Colin hiding Alice’s pencil box on the first day of school. Meant as an initiation of sorts, it had made Elsa’s morning that much more hectic and stressful trying to find it and make it to school on time. Emma related how she’d had trouble containing her giggles when the twins confessed what they’d done, handed over the pencil box, and got exactly what was coming to them from their mother. Later on the same day, in retaliation, Alice and Henry had hidden away the twins’ lunch boxes. Killian had to stifle his laughter at the story. 

Then Emma told him about the time just a few weeks ago when Alice was delayed coming back from the restroom. When Emma went to look for her, she found the child peeking into the auditorium where her cousins were engaged in a basketball game with another school in the area. Colin had just made a shot, and Alice was cheering loudly for her cousin from the hallway when Emma found her. Killian’s heart swelled. 

By this time, he’d finished his meal and it was time for Emma to depart.

“Alice’s solo is I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” Emma explained. “Do you sing at all? Why don’t you join her for the last line of the song? She’ll just be singing the stanza we all know and love twice, with a bridge in between, so you’ll know exactly when to come in.” Emma’s face was lit up in the light from her phone, and Killian grinned, even as his cheeks heated.

He scratched behind his ear in embarrassment as he spoke. “I’ve been told,” he shrugged, “I have a reasonably nice sounding voice. I think that’s a great idea. So the second time she sings the verse, I’ll join her for the last line and come out of the box?”

Emma nodded. “Yes.” A little giggle burst from her lips as she rose, preparing to leave the cramped quarters, and Killian was utterly charmed. “I can’t wait to see the look on Alice’s face. I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”

“I have too,” Killian agreed. “When Elsa told me what you had planned, I was excited too. And a bit overwhelmed,” he admitted. “That anyone besides Elsa would care so much about Alice that they would arrange something like this…” He trailed away for a moment. “Thank you, Emma.”

Emma had to look away from his sincere expression, a blush heating her cheeks. “You’re quite welcome, Killian. She’s an absolute dear and one of my favorite students. I’ll see you at the end of the program.” And with that, she slipped out of the box, leaving Killian to his thoughts.

~*~*~

Sitting there in the dark listening to the program going on onstage was torture. He could hear everything, and he had no doubt that if he joined in the laughter with the audience and then the sing-along towards the end of the program, the children on the stage would be able to hear him, thus spoiling the surprise. But the time finally came for Alice to sing her solo. A smile with just a touch of sadness and nostalgia broke over his face. Milah hadn’t been able to carry a tune in a bucket, but she loved to listen to him sing, especially to their baby girl at bedtime. He could hear the piano music, and then his Starfish began to sing with her strong and sweet voice. 

I’ll be home for Christmas. 

You can count on me.

Please have snow and mistletoe 

And presents by the tree.

Christmas Eve will find me 

Where the love light gleams.

I’ll be home for Christmas

If only in my dreams.

Tears were coursing down his face as he listened, and he didn’t know if he was going to be able to wait for the last line of the song. He heard Alice begin the next stanza, but suddenly, she stopped singing and a hiccupping sob escaped her. Killian quickly dried his own tears and picked up where his Starfish had left off as he opened the box and stepped out in front of it.

Christmas Eve will find me

Where the love light gleams

Killian’s heart melted with love and pride when his eyes landed on Alice. She was looking at Emma who was knelt down next to her and was pointing towards him, tears shining in her eyes. 

Alice turned toward him and the confusion on her face melted into pure unadulterated joy when she spotted him. 

“Papa!” she shouted. 

She ran across the stage and leapt into his waiting arms. His little girl had grown a lot in the last nine months, and he was nearly toppled by her enthusiastic greeting. Spinning around with his daughter in his arms, he planted loud, smacking kisses all over her face. He knew she missed him as much as he did her because she didn’t try to wiggle out of his embrace when he did that. 

After he set her down, he looked around the quickly emptying auditorium, finding the rest of his family waiting to welcome him home. He hugged his twin nephews, Liam Jr. and Colin, tightly, exclaiming how they looked more like their father than ever. Then Alice was back in front of him, holding the hand of an older boy behind her.

“Papa, this is Henry Swan,” she introduced. “He’s my best friend.” She turned to her friend with a wide smile on her lips. Killian held out his hand for the young man to shake.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Henry,” Killian said, sincerely. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you befriending my Alice when I deployed last spring.” He looked down at his daughter as she hugged him tightly around the waist, draping his arm across her shoulders. “She can be shy, so it means a lot for someone to reach out to her when she only knew her cousins here at the school.”

The boy blushed as he shook Killian’s hand. “It was my pleasure, sir,” Henry said, a bit shyly himself. 

Killian felt his own cheeks heat as he moved toward Emma, scratching behind his ear in nervousness.

“Thank you so much for this, Emma,” he said sincerely. “I truly can’t tell you what it means to me.”

Emma smiled, the action lighting up her green eyes, and Killian caught his breath. “I was happy to do it, Killian.”

He scratched behind his ear again, not meeting her eyes, searching for the words to ask this beautiful woman out on a date. “Could I… uh, would you mind if…” He remembered that Liam was fond of saying a man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets, and Killian had a feeling this lovely lady in front of him was definitely worth fighting for. He finally looked up at her and just spit it out. “Would you like to get a cup of coffee sometime? It’s the start of Christmas break, is it not?” he asked as she looked back at him after looking down at Henry, who stood beside her grinning widely.

“It is,” she affirmed. “And I’d love to have coffee with you, Killian.”

Killian couldn’t keep the grin off of his face if he tried. Being back home with his daughter and family around him, and now going on a date with one of the most beautiful women he’d ever laid eyes on, he had a feeling his life was on the precipice of something great. And he couldn’t wait to see what the future held. 

~*~*~

It was Christmas Eve, and Killian didn’t think he could possibly be any happier. Having this time with his family after being away for nine months was a respite he desperately needed. And the addition of the time spent with Emma since they’d met a little over a week ago was only the icing on the cake.

The day after the Christmas program, he and Emma met for coffee, which stretched to lunch, and then all the way to the end of the day. Killian could feel his cheeks heat as he remembered the wide happy smiles on Elsa and Liam’s faces as they passed in front of the coffee shop where he and Emma had met, herding the four children toward Granny’s a couple of doors down for lunch. Killian had been completely oblivious to the time, and when Elsa caught his eye as they passed, he’d pulled out his phone, stunned to find that over two hours had passed in Emma’s delightful company. They quickly settled their tab and joined the rest of them at Granny’s where he got an up front and personal look at just how well Emma and Henry fit into his family. It was enough to really get him thinking about seriously pursuing Emma. 

After lunch, he’d been loath to part from her, so had spontaneously invited her and Henry to accompany them as they sought out the perfect Christmas tree. Elsa and Liam hadn’t yet decorated when they received word that he’d be arriving home and decided to put it off until after he got there. It took the rest of the afternoon and evening to find, put up, and decorate the tree. 

Since that first all day “date”, Emma and Henry had joined the Jones family for all of the requisite holiday traditions- decorating the rest of the Jones’ domicile, holiday baking, and ice-skating on the frozen pond in the park. 

The kids had arranged an ice skating outing for all of them the previous Tuesday. Killian Jones might have served his country in the United States Navy for almost twenty years, but there was a big difference between being on a ship in the middle of the ocean and trying to navigate frozen water on nothing more than a single blade in the middle of his feet. Why they didn’t have double-bladed skates for adults to rent, he’d never know. 

But he really couldn’t complain much since Emma was usually the one helping him to his feet when he fell. Alice and Henry had been concerned at first, but the more he fell, the funnier they thought it was. By the time he was ready to hang up the skates and just watch the rest of them, Alice and Henry’s red faces were as much from their laughter at him as from the cold. But again, he couldn’t complain, because seeing the happiness and laughter on his daughter’s face was well worth the humiliation of multiple wipeouts on the ice in front of the woman he really liked and wanted to impress. Thankfully, Emma soon joined him on the bench, where they sipped hot chocolate and laughed as they watched the children cavort on the rink.

Now, arriving back home after the Christmas Eve service at church, Killian couldn’t help the love and happiness blooming in his chest as he watched his family and the woman he was quickly falling for and her son gather around the tree for their gift exchange.

As he stood in the doorway to the kitchen watching them, Emma stood up and approached him. Her smile was bright and happy, and Killian returned it as she got closer.

“I’m just going to refill my glass,” she said, holding it up to show him. He moved quickly to the side to let her pass. A minute or so later, she stopped next to him on the way back out to the living room. “Are you coming?”

“Yes,” he replied. “I was just watching everyone for a minute.” He paused for a moment, and she was silent as he gathered his thoughts. “I’m so happy to be home,” he said in a whisper. He turned toward Emma, not sure if he spoke loud enough for her to hear him. Her eyes and smile were soft, and he knew she had.

“I know you are,” she said. “And I know how happy Alice and the rest of your family are to have you home as well. They missed you.”

“I missed them,” he said, looking back out at the room where everyone else was gathered. “It’s very hard being away from them for so many months at a time.”

“I couldn’t imagine,” she commiserated. 

Liam looked up at them then and a spark of mischief appeared in his eye. Killian immediately was on the alert. That look always meant Liam was up to something.

“Oh, would you look at that,” he called jovially, pointing at them, then up to the top of the doorway where they stood.

Killian looked up and immediately felt his cheeks flame. He glanced at Emma, her countenance still directed to the greenery hanging above them, her jaw hanging open slightly. When she looked at him, bashful but pleased surprise was all over her face. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten Liam and Elsa’s habit of hanging mistletoe in the doorway to the kitchen. 

It was a tradition that had begun when they were dating. Liam had Elsa over for dinner in his apartment, and when he started bringing the dishes he’d prepared for their meal from the kitchen to the table, Elsa jumped up to help him. Each time they passed each other in the doorway, they’d kiss, so when Christmas rolled around, they decided it was the perfect place to hang the mistletoe. And it had hung there every year since.

Elsa couldn’t disguise her glee when she looked over at them. “Go on, Killian,” she urged. “You can’t break tradition.” Everyone in the room was now staring at them, with the kids exchanging furtive glances before joining together in only a moderately loud chant kiss kiss kiss. Killian glanced at Alice and Henry, taking in their smiling faces before turning back to Emma. 

He leaned in close, never taking his eyes off hers. They sparkled with undisguised anticipation, but he had to make sure she was really agreeable before doing anything else, no matter what the members of the peanut gallery wanted.

“Are you alright with this, Emma?”

Her smile widened even more. “Yes, Killian,” she whispered.

“We’ll save a real kiss for when we don’t have an audience watching,” he whispered huskily, before brushing his lips against the corner of her mouth. He pulled back and was thrilled to see a deep blush on her cheeks and wide smile on her lips. She looked down, embarrassed, before making her way back to the living room where everyone had broken into whoops and cheers of celebration. Killian couldn’t help the surge of satisfaction he felt that she appeared to welcome his advances. He followed her into the living room and sat on the sofa, wrapping his arm around Alice as Liam Jr. got ready to play Santa and hand out the gifts.

Once they were handed out, it didn’t appear to have made any sort of dent in the pile under the tree. The twins and Alice had each been allowed to open two gifts- one a new set of pajamas they got every year, and then a second of their choosing from under the tree. Gifts between the adults would be exchanged in the morning, but Liam had gotten a joint gift for Elsa and Emma who also had gifts for each other, and Alice had a gift for Emma and Henry, Henry had a gift for Alice, and Emma had a gift for Killian.

They watched Henry and Alice open their presents to each other first. Henry was thrilled when he opened a new journal for him to write in, which appeared to have been hand made by his friend and was decorated with writing quotes and stickers. Henry was blushing furiously as Alice opened her gift, a hardbound copy of a story he’d written just for her. Alice and Killian both were completely stunned at the gift. Killian couldn’t imagine the kind of time and effort it would have required to make a gift like this. Alice threw her arms around Henry’s neck and gave him a loud smacking kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you, Henry,” she gushed. “I’ll treasure it always.” 

Then it was Emma’s turn, and she opened a travel mug with World’s Best Teacher on the side from Alice, and she was the one to open the gift for herself and Elsa from Liam- a gift certificate for the two of them for a spa day that included facials, massages, getting their nails done, as well as a gourmet lunch. Elsa squealed, and planted a very enthusiastic kiss on her husband’s lips in thanks. Emma laughed at the display.

“I won’t be doing that,” she quipped at Liam, a wide grin on her face. “But, thank you.”

Liam laughed. “I wouldn’t expect you to,” he shot right back at her, his arm around Elsa’s shoulders. “But, you’re welcome.”

Emma then opened her gift from Elsa to find warm fleece pajamas. Elsa knew how hard Emma found it to stay warm in the Maine winters, so the yellow and forest green plaid pjs were very welcome and appreciated. Emma bought Elsa a gift card to her favorite coffee shop that would likely last her at least a month.

Finally, Emma brought the gift she’d bought for Killian toward him. Killian was surprised, and he was sure she could see it on his face.

“You shouldn’t have, Emma,” he protested. “I don’t have anything for you.”

Emma shrugged, but she had a smile on her face. “Don’t worry about that. It really isn’t much. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I feel like I do know you after hearing Elsa and Alice talk about you the whole time you’ve been gone. So when I saw this while I was grocery shopping last week, I thought you probably missed it while you were gone.” She handed him a relatively tall and round gift, wrapped with the same paper that had wrapped the box he’d hidden in for the program. He opened it carefully and his jaw dropped in surprise before his eyes met hers.

“How did you know?” he asked, completely flabbergasted. In his hands was a very large tin of one of his very favorite treats, Pirouline hazelnut creme filled wafers.

“Elsa told me,” she replied. “She found some at the grocery store and bought them for Alice not long after you deployed so she could have one of her Papa’s favorite treats every day, since you couldn’t while you were gone.”

Killian felt the tears gathering in his eyes as he thought of his little girl enjoying the cookies on his behalf so she hopefully wouldn’t miss him quite so much. Emma grinned as he hugged Alice tightly to him and placed a kiss on the top of her head, so grateful to be back home with the ones he loved again.

“Thank you, Emma,” he choked out. “This means a lot.”

“You’re welcome.” She turned back toward Henry, catching him in the middle of a huge yawn. “Come on, kid,” she cajoled. “It’s time to head home and to bed, or Santa won’t come.”

“Uh huh,” Henry replied, a tired yet sarcastic smirk on his face as he rose to his feet. Emma ruffled his hair and smirked back at him in return.

“Or more likely, if you don’t go to bed soon, you won’t wake up early enough in the morning for us to make it to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for Grandpa’s Christmas pancakes,” she added. That got Henry moving quickly toward the door. Emma turned and faced the room. “Merry Christmas, everyone. We’ll see you…” Emma trailed away with a quiet chuckle. “Sometime next week.” Elsa rose to see Emma and Henry out, and Killian squeezed Alice and whispered in her ear.

“I’m just going to say goodnight to Emma, too,” he said. “Is that alright?”

Alice beamed at him. “Yes, Papa. I love Miss Swan. And I know you’ll love her, too.”

Killian was taken aback. Could she possibly mean…? Surely not, she was much too young for that. Or at least, he hoped she was…

Alice wasn’t finished. “You should go out on a real date. Without all of us.” 

Killian frowned. “How do you know about dating?” he asked. “Aren’t you a little young for that?”

Alice rolled her eyes at him. She looked just like her mother when she did, and Killian felt a pang go through his heart. “I watch TV, Papa,” she informed him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Killian rolled his eyes in response.

“So you’d be ok with me dating Miss Swan?” he asked, just to make sure.

Alice smiled and bopped him on the nose. “Yes, Papa.” Killian nodded and kissed Alice on the tip of her nose.

“I love you, Starfish.”

“I love you, too, Papa.”

Killian squeezed her one more time and rose from the sofa, arriving at the front door just as Emma and Henry were walking through it.

“Emma,” he called softly. She turned toward him and the smile that covered her face took his breath away. Elsa gave him a pleased and bashful smile as she moved back toward the living room and the rest of the family. “I just wanted to tell you goodnight, and thank you again for my Christmas present.”

Emma blushed at his words and cut her eyes away from him for a moment before meeting his gaze again. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Uh, I was wondering…” He trailed away and scratched at the spot behind his ear. “Do you have plans for New Years?”

Emma’s smile widened even more. “I don’t,” she replied.

“Would, ah, would you like to go out with me?” he stammered. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He’d never been this nervous asking a woman out before, not even in the early days of dating Milah. And he’d already spent time with her and was quite sure she was interested in him as well. Maybe it was the fact that his entire family was only a few feet away and could easily hear them if they were so inclined. He hoped they weren’t, but given how they acted earlier when they were caught under the mistletoe, he wasn’t terribly optimistic. 

“I’d love to,” she said, her smile even wider, if that was possible, and her eyes sparkling. “I’ll need to find a sitter for Henry…”

“Oh, don’t worry about Henry,” Elsa called from the living room. “He can spend the night here with us. You two go out and have fun.”

Emma’s eyes widened and then cut away from his as he bowed his head and chuckled at Elsa’s offer.

“Thank you, Elsa,” Killian called, only slight exasperation at her obvious eavesdropping coloring his tone.

“You’re welcome,” she called back. He could hear the satisfaction in her voice and could imagine her smug face, even if he couldn’t see it.

“I’ll pick you up at 7?” he asked. 

“That’ll be great, Killian,” she said, her smile softening as she looked back out the door toward where Henry was waiting in her car. “I’ll see you then.” She looked back at him, raised up on her toes, and brushed her lips against the corner of his lips, just as he’d done earlier. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

~*~*~

Some hours later, Killian and Liam sat in front of the dying fire, sipping from tumblers of rum. The rest of the family was sound asleep in their beds, but the brothers hadn’t had much time to be alone, so Liam had stayed up with Killian to help him put together the doll house he’d bought for Alice. And now that it was finished, they were enjoying a quiet drink together.

“How long before you report back for duty?” Liam asked.

“I report back February first,” Killian replied.

“And retirement date?”

“Officially it’s May 31,” he informed him, “but with my terminal leave saved up, the ceremony is April 11th.”

Liam nodded. “Have you given any thought to what you’ll do after you retire?”

Killian took a deep breath. “As far as working, no.” He paused for a moment. “But I have thought about dating Emma.” His voice wasn’t much more than a whisper, but he hoped his brother heard his words and he wouldn’t have to repeat them.

“Good.” Killian looked at his brother to see a satisfied smile on his face. “I’m glad to hear it. With your retirement imminent, you really don’t have a valid reason anymore to not date.” Liam’s eyebrow rose and Killian couldn’t help but bristle a bit at his brother’s words. “Don’t get your back up, Killian,” Liam continued, moving his hands in a placating gesture. “I know you loved Milah very much, and being a father to a young daughter is more than enough reason to be cautious in that area,” he acknowledged, and Killian could feel his ire receding at his brother’s words. “But I know Emma. And I know you. And I think you could be very happy together.” 

Killian smiled at that last statement. “I think you’re right,” he agreed.

“And that brings us to housing arrangements.” The smile on Liam’s face made Killian smile too. 

“I can’t impose on your hospitality forever, brother,” Killian said.

“There’s a house in the next neighborhood over,” Liam informed him. “It’s lovely. Two story, storage in the back, a view of the sea. I don’t know square footage or how many bedrooms it has, but it looks like plenty of room for a family.” Liam’s face was entirely too innocent, and Killian chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“You don’t need to do that, you know,” he said. “You couldn’t be more obvious. You want me to move here.”

Liam smiled. “You have to admit, the idea has merit. Your family is here, Emma is here, Alice could grow up with her cousins and Henry…”

“But what kind of job opportunities are there here?” Killian asked. “I’ve got some savings, but I can’t live off my retirement. I have a much better chance of finding good work in Boston.”

Liam scratched behind his ear with the same nervous tell Killian had. “This is very hush hush and isn’t public knowledge yet, but the firm is gearing up to open a whole new division for commercial property. With the surge of vacationers we’ve seen the last couple of years, the demand for services has really grown, and we have businesses coming out of the woodwork that need buildings to move into. Storybrooke doesn’t have the infrastructure to support them at the moment. I was the top agent in residential sales for the last two quarters and I’m on track to do it again this quarter as well. I’m sure I could put in a word for you and they’d agree to hold a position for you until April. They’ll be announcing the expansion and accepting résumés after the new year.”

Killian’s eyebrows rose nearly to his hairline. “Really? Wow…” This information all but sealed the deal for him. Of course he’d have to see numbers- salary, benefits, the price tag on the house Liam mentioned, but he couldn’t deny how well it all seemed to fit together and intersect perfectly with his own needs and desires.

“Since this is still on the down low, and the office is closed this week, I can give Nemo a call Wednesday or Thursday and tell him you’re interested.” Liam paused for a moment, his gaze on Killian intense. “If you’re interested, that is.”

Killian took a sip of his drink before replying. “Yes, I’m definitely interested.”

Liam’s relieved smile rivaled the lights on the tree as he stood. Killian stood as well, and the two men embraced warmly.

“This would be a dream come true, brother,” Liam said, patting him on the back before releasing him.

“It would,” Killian agreed. “I’ve missed you all.”

“We’ve missed you, too,” Liam said. “It’ll be so good to have you and Alice here in town and working in the same building.”

“It’s not a done deal yet, Liam,” Killian said laughing. “There’s still a lot up in the air about the entire situation.”

Liam scoffed and waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. “Pfft. It’ll work out. I can feel it in my bones.”

Killian smiled warmly and turned toward the stairs. “We’ll see. I hope so. Goodnight, brother. Merry Christmas.”

“Goodnight, Killian. Merry Christmas. Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Killian smiled and climbed the stairs to his room leaving a very happy Liam behind him.

~*~*~

Thank you for reading and sharing. New Years date will post on Tuesday!

#a christmas surprise #krystal writes #art by krystal #new chapter #christmas fluff

[the-darkdragonfly]

NEW CHAPTER!!! A Trick of the Light

Chapter 10: The Sword in the Stone

..... it's been 84 years....

but srsly tho - sorry dudes.

♥️♥️♥️♥️

The human body has, on average, 1.5 gallons of blood. 

Emma had gagged, turning to the boy she’d befriended from class, useless as that endeavour was, she would be gone in a month regardless of how many people she left behind. The boy had smiled, miming an explosion and catching a glare from the teacher who paced back and forth at the front of the class. 

It had been a fact she remembered at random again one afternoon while walking through a Boston hardware store with Killian, undecided as to what colour to paint the baby’s room, Henry and Hope trailing behind them holding wooden stir sticks like swords, Killian’s quiet voice providing advice as Henry spun and slowly parried his sister’s outstretched weapon held tightly between two chubby hands.  

Emma had settled on a soft green paint which looked like forest moss when the waiting buckets of primer caught her attention. She’d tapped her nail on the lid, Killian’s hand on her hip as he warned Henry not to wander off, his hook snagging through the hood of Hope’s jacket as she howled in indignation- you alright, love?- and she’d smiled remembering when she’d leaned her cheek against his shoulder in the cool dark of the barn, the smell of horses and hay around them, recalling how his face had scrunched up knowledge as she watched him bend to hoist up his enraged daughter. 

The human body has, on average, 1.5 gallons of blood. 

Red gathered like a rising tide around her feet, Killian bellowing with rage as he slashed his way towards her, stunned onlookers and knights clearing from his path. 

Killian’s voice rang through the throne room, Alec already moving, a stolen blade from a now fallen knight in his grasp as he kept Liam tucked to his chest- get my children out of here!- and Fiona slashed out with a dagger Killian hadn’t noticed before. 

Find Henry! His command was met with only a nod from the older man, a man so much a father to him. 

His blade, the sword of a king, had severed the head of the man who had kicked her, the power of his blow still smarting her ribs. She watched as it rolled away without ceremony under a table which held a scattering of glassware, Killian’s voice booming like thunder from above her. 

Release my wife. 

♥️♥️♥️♥️

Read the rest here.

Read my other stuff.

Tagging:

@elizabeethan @donteattheappleshook @sailtoafarawayland @teamhook @wefoundloveunderthelight @caught-in-the-filter @ultraluckycatnd @veryverynotgood @snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @jrob64 @kmomof4 @artistic-writer @gingerpolyglot @xarandomdreamx @justanother-unluckysoul @zaharadessert @xsjax @karlyfr13s @tiganasummertree @wyntereyez @klynn-stormz @onceratheart18 @rkrbirdgirl @ouatdaily @blowmiakisscolin @courtorderedcake @winterbaby89 @pirateprincessofpizza @superchocovian @deckerstarblanche @jlsadphoenix @alexa-fangirl-forever @stahlop @undercaffinatednightmare @lostintheskyfaraway @anmylica @motherkatereloyshipper @last-tsarina @lfh1226-linda @hookedmom @yikes-00 @midnightsuki @paradiselady19 @jonesfandomfanatic

#a trick of the light #the darkdragonfly #captain swan #the ripple effect #killian jones #emma swan #cs fanfic #ouat fanfic

[crobones]

so you want to know about my theory on thomas zane and alan wake! thanks so much for asking, I'm happy to share.

Y'ALL SEENT MOONKNIGHT? alright so follow me on this:

first and foremost, to clarify before I begin - the Dark Place and it's Dark Presence is real and exists

There is a Finnish auteur who comes to America with Barbara in the 1960's

when Barbara dies, the auteur experiences a split - the creation of a new alter - The Diver.

And in that very step, you realize I'm talking about DID. DISCLAIMER: Dissociative Identity Disorder is a very real psychological disorder that should be taken seriously and with respect, and those who have it (systems) deserve respect and privacy as well. This theory is in no way meant to mock or belittle or villainize any systems out there.

The Initial Split: the traumatic event(s) that happened to Alan (the name of the child before the split) occurred at a very young age, obviously. Before he developed a personality, according to studies on DID. And all we can gather on the parents are of what Zane and Alan have co-written about [Alan's] mother and a father he didn't know. It is stated that Linda spent most of [Alan's] life in psychiatric care for a yet-to-be-if-ever disclosed reason. I'm not saying she also had DID, as it is not inherited, but children of those with disorders can be more prone to developing their own.

it's possible a specific traumatic event that acted as the catalyst for the initial split involved drowning, or water somehow.

EITHERHOOT, back to the Child. DID can exist and not be realized until well into adulthood. So the Child goes about life, becomes a poet, a writer, a director. He creates the character of The Diver due to an intense fascination with the darkness of the worlds that can exist in deep, deep bodies of water (lol same) and a want to explore those worlds.

At this point in time - Before Barbara Dies - these are occupations that the host has - not separate alters. The Diver is a character, also not an alter (yet; I'll get there.)

But Cro, if Thomas is the host for the majority of this time, why is there no trace of him existing except for maybe a poem? Well, because Thomas Zane was not born as Thomas Zane. When the Child was born, he was named Alan Wake - at least on any and all legal documentation. Tom's wife and friends and colleagues all knew him as Tom because that's how "he" (the system) introduced themself to everyone. Tom Zane was the first Primary Host - the alter who Fronts, or uses the body and interacts with the outside world.

So let us begin again: Thomas Zane is a Finnish auteur who comes to America with his wife Barbara in the 1960's. He is the primary hosting alter of a system he possibly does not even know exists.

Barbara dies. Zane tries to bring her back with the power of The Dark Place. It fails. He carves out Barbara's heart. A split happens. The Diver emerges.

He is an Emotional Protector, but it's also likely he is a Fragment Alter, as well as a Fictive - an alter that doesn't fully develop their own unique attributes; and Fictive because he is based on a character Tom had already created. At least to start.

Tom is still the host. He has control. He and Barbara have fallen into the Dark Place.

the Dark Presence begins to try to manipulate The Diver. Tom, who is still the primary host and while trying to maintain the health of the body and fend off corruption, wants to defend The Diver. To him, The Diver is the Light, the Protector, the one tasked with processing the loss of Barbara. Because even now, the Diver is still a part of Tom. A Fragment. The Diver needs Tom to complete him, and so the Diver refers to himself as Tom as well.

But Tom is a poet, and he knows that with any Light, there also comes a Darkness. And so, to save himself and to save the Diver, Tom writes. He doesn't necessarily know that he's having any effect on reality. The way for an artist to vent emotions like fear and confusion is to create. And he would never truly make "himself" the main character - he's an auteur, he would never be so gouche. So he changes a few key aspects.

He doesn't mean for it to happen. He didn't know the extent of those inside the system, or even that they truly existed within him at all. But he writes a character - a siphon for the darkness, really. A sacrifice to the Dark Presence, as if to appease it.

Now, it is well established that writing in the Dark Presence less so fully creates something from nothing, but really just nudges things in one direction or the other.

There's a name that comes to mind - something that people used to call him when he was younger, and it always confused him. He writes a character named Alan.

Now, Zane is not so cruel as to make Alan simply a sheep led to the slaughter. and darkness itself is not something necessarily evil, per se. Within himself is a fear and a want to leave this place. Writing is escapism. It is self-preservation. Alan can be a good man that is struggling with his own devils, just as Zane deals with the Darkness he feels within himself. Alan just wants to leave.

And so Alan has an antagonist. Inspired by The Diver, the Champion of Light within himself, Tom gives unto Alan his own Herald of Darkness. He can't decide on a name for this individual. It doesn't come to him as easily as the Diver or Alan did. He gives it a few tries, but redacts all of it. In the end, and only in his mind, he refers to this devil as Mr. Scratch, but really "scratch" is just a concept that he can't think of a word for.

And so, within this Darkness, the only true way to escape that we know of is to make a sacrifice. Zane can't sacrifice Barbara, she's already dead. The Darkness had already taken her body and he knows that now. He refuses to sacrifice The Diver or Alan - they feel like a part of him.

But Mr. Scratch is just as much a part of him as the rest of the system. Zane figures he is willing to sacrifice that part of himself - the evil within.

So into the Dark Place Mr. Scratch is sent. Is it enough? Can he finally get out?

Well, while every alter in the system has a level of agency, just as The Diver is a Fragment of Zane, Scratch was really a Fragment of Alan. Even Zane established that much within his own writing. So really, the sacrifice was Alan's to make. It was a battle Alan had been fighting, not Zane.

So Alan gets out. The alters are of a system, but while Alan is Hosting, it could be said that the Alters are left in the Dark Place. Time and space don't work there as they really should, so chances are, the System could persist without a physical body.

It's not a lake, it's an ocean. Perhaps Alan emerges from he Dark Place in Cauldron Lake and simply doesn't remember traveling across the country. Zane "wrote himself out of reality" and so that could very well effect Alan's memories. It could be possible he emerges directly into New York City - where Zane had based the character's place of birth. Regardless, Alan get's to New York and attempts to live a normal and healthy life.

When Alan escapes the Dark Place, it's probably 1999, or some time close. The internet both exists but isn't infallible. Documents can be "replicated" if lost. The country is having a wild time, it wouldn't be impossible for a 33 year old man to emerge from nothingness. So what if he doesn't have any ID on him, maybe he was houseless for a time.

Because Zane "wrote" Alan's background, and it is common for someone to write what they know, Alan's life has a lot of similarities to Zane's. Alan "knows" his past. Doesn't remember any Darkness, though. Don't know what you're talking about.

Alice hears about the program and brings Alan to Bright Falls.

Within the overlap, the System can reconnect. But Alan remembers nothing about any of it. Doesn't remember the System, the town, the lake, or the Darkness. But everything and everyone remembers him very well.

And, while Scratch was sacrificed to the Darkness, well. That doesn't necessarily mean he died!

side theories!

The System's own mind place was just the writer's cabin, but it was possessed and corrupted by the darkness.

Mr. Hatch and Mr. Door are not necessarily the same. Mr. Hatch exists in reality, but perhaps Mr. Door is an Introject Alter who is also the Gatekeeper. Interesting idea, but I doubt it's likelihood.

Mr. Scratch, as he never truly "died" or left the system but had been made to succumb to it, is a Misguided Protector. He wants to protect the system from the Darkness in theory, but really he wants to prevent the circumstances that brought them to the Darkness instead. And so, Mr. Scratch thinks that they can't lose another love of their life if he kills her!

NOTE: Mr. Scratch was not so "evil" in the beginning, but he became so when sacrificed to the Darkness. But as each alter has a level of individuality and agency, while the Darkness managed to possess him, it has not managed to possess any other alter.

Linda Wake is the system's mom and birth mother. But when Tom wrote Linda giving Alan the switch, that was based on a memory of her giving the system the gift as a child. who was fronting at the time is unknown. Perhaps Alan and Tom co-fronted parts of their childhood, but Tom was the primary, as Alan is more introverted.

Any and all times Alan exhibited "insanity", that was fully induced by the Darkness. People with DID and other mental disorders do not always exhibit such symptoms as he had, if ever. Each case is unique.

The Darkness did not cause the trauma that produced the System's DID in this theory. Tom/Alan lived a life without any paranatural influence until moving to Bright Falls, though it is likely he was a parautilitarian. He is a partially a victim to the darkness, but more importantly, he is the hero of his own story.

(The system as a collective is the hero. Maybe Lan and Tom have their own paranatural abilities - Alan's involving writing and Tom's being creating movies.) But within the system is also their own enemy.)

If you've ever read the graphic novel The Wicked + The Divine and like the involvement of the gods of old and Odin, Tor, Ahti, and the like, I guess i could kinda see Tom/Alan as a "vessel"(?) for Loki. Complicated individual who means well most of the time, but has a dark side, and every interpetation of Loki depends on the perspective of the audience, which is a heavy theme in the game.

Really, i just love the idea that he's not involved in the ongoing godhood of those around him at all. He doesn't have the name of a Norse god - he's just some fuckin bloke. His wife brought him someplace and he got sucked into a fucked up scenario. Maybe The Dark Place is fucking Jotunheim and that's why Saga, and Tor, and Odin and everyone is drawn to it. They are there to protect the outside world from Jotunheim. Ahti isn't part of the same pantheon, but he is a god of water, so he's just chilling as the innocent bystander - though he has an investment of course. And then a mortal accidentally walked into their bullshit. But since he's a mortal and a creator of things, he is held in high regard. Gods really only have as much power as their worshippers give them in their stories.

The Dark Place could be Jotunheim, and maybe each resonance in the Remedy Universe is a jötun or the jötun were based on what resonance are individually or idk I could go on. reality influencing art influencing life influencing art inf- [gun shots]...

I'm tired.

(edit: reading back I initially said Barbara's death created Mr. Scratch. the entire situation with Barbara and his carving out her heart in my mind actually created the Diver, I meant to say. Scratch came later.)

(second edit: grammar and spelling)

#thomas zane #alan wake #mr. scratch #the diver #aw2 spoilers #cw: mental health #cw: mental illness #forewarning: discussing DID from the perspective of someone who does not have or exhibit the disorder #i have no intention of mocking or belittling or disrespecting anyone with DID #i will edit or delete any or all of this post per request #long post

[venusofsuburbia]

3 + 17 + 22 for the book asks 📚

3. What were your top five books of the year?

I posted my top five here but I had a bitch of a time narrowing it down so here's the rest of my top ten:

Christopher Isherwood's famous Goodbye to Berlin, which made 1930s Weimar Berlin come so alive in its pages I felt like I was really there with him.

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, which has been recc'd to high heaven by me and everybody else but deserves every word of praise it gets.

Linda Przybyszewski's The Lost Art of Dress: The Women Who Once Made America Stylish, my other favorite fashion history book, which covers the style of real women in the early to mid 20th century.

The Past is Never by Tiffany Quay Tyson, a stunning southern gothic whose opening passages give Shirley Jackson a run for her money.

Delta of Venus by Anaïs Nin. Not for the faint of heart, or of taste.

17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

Anne Roiphe's Art and Madness: A Memoir of Lust Without Reason. Picked it up at random off a prop bookshelf and was immediately engrossed by this woman who thought the highest calling in life was to be an artist's wife, until she discovered her own talent and became an artist herself.

22. What’s the longest book you read?

Anaïs Nin's unexpurgated diary from 1932-1934, and even though I adored it and would read it again, it sure did take me about three months.

send me a book ask!

#tbh i expected to find anaïs nin a bit overhyped but if anything she is UNDERhyped #madame nin je vous adore #afoxnamedmulder #books #reading recs

[takashimakato]

♱Introduction♱

Tumblr Writer and Oc Maker

Cardd: takashi-lennon.carrd.co

Richie Enjoyer

Gorillaz, The Beatles, Orange is the new black

DNI LIST

Toxic Ex Moot (He Knows..)

Shotacon

Lolicon

Minor x Adult shippers

Noodle x Band

Yoko Ono Haters

Fatpobic mfs

Racist

Sexist

Homophobics

Maxwell Silver Hammer haters /j

Beatles Member I really Adore

I've fallen in love with Richard Starkkey/Ringo Starr along with the rest of my family, he is one of my favorite drummers and actors.

Favorite beatles film

I really like Yellow Submarine for the vibe alone, plus Ringo is the main focus through a chunk of this film.

Also like help due to the ringo sleeps toe first on the bed..

Favorite beatles wife/partner

May Pang, I follow her on Instagram and she is a generally wholesome personality and I wish her nothing but success.

I'm a gigantic fan of Lore Olympus and Greek mythology writing my own myths and falling in love with Posiden but I do not really Suport The creator since her way of writing is very Gorillaz phase 4-7ny and I think those writers should be fired.

My favorite song right now is linda linda by the Drinking Boys and Girls Choir since got to hear it live.

My favorite artist is Grovezgal or stella💗

Making George look pretty Cute LIKE I WANNA NOM.

Dm rules

My dms are open but please don't Harrass me or if your my ex moot ( leave me the fuck alone-).

If you like Homestuck/Scott Pilgrim I will keep my distant because of my Ex but if your cool I won't mind it.

Do not dm me to brag about something that's happened with a moot on my discord who I fucking think is super annoying.

NO REAL GORE PLEASE, I don't mind drawn gore but I think real gore is mentally disturbing.

NO YOKO SLANDER

She's a baddie and yoko haters are so fucking annoying because the only excuse they have is she broke up the beatles which is false.

Since it was John.

Nsfw Tumblr @liverpoolian

Rp account: @lighthous3k33per

I love Damon albarn (My name irl is Damon now) he's my icon and just a very Cute person, Beetlebum esp.

#intro post #linda linda linda #writers on tumblr #fanfic writer #artists on tumblr #Spotify

[kazoosandfannypacks]

"Open to Interpretation" by kazoosandfannypacks

Chapter 14/16: Your Heart's Desire Pairing: CaptainSwan Rating: General Word Count: (1K/24K) Summary: Emma Swan is appalled at works by modern artist Killian Jones- until a handsome stranger convinces her otherwise- and after introducing himself as the artist in question, he invites her out on a date. As their relationship develops, they find that they might not be as different from each other as originally though. Chapter Summary: Killian realizes fully where he stands in his father's eyes. Tags: au, fluff, captain swan, modern au Author's notes: n/a Taglist: @zahara @kmomof4 @jonesfandomfanatic @booksteaandtoomuchtv @jrob64 @tiganasummertree @anmylica @teamhook @undercaffinatednightmare @gingerchangeling @lonelyspectator @caught-in-the-filter @ultraluckycatnd @cs-rylie @pirateprincessofpizza @lfh1226-linda @pawshapedheart  [if you'd like to be added to or removed from this list, hmu in my dms or askbox!]

Also on Ao3!

 Killian tried to calm down a little and not spoil the rest of the day. After they'd had some cake and listened to everyone say some nice things about Liam, Killian could make some fake excuse about having to get back to the museum soon for something, then he and Emma could dip out and get away from here.

 "I never should've brought her here," Killian thought, "what kind of selfish idiot am I? I brought her because I knew having her would help me- but I didn't even stop to consider how dear old dad would treat her. I never should've brought her here. How am I ever going to win her heart now that she knows what my family's like?"

 She seemed to have almost forgotten the whole incident by the time they cut into the cake, and seemed to be having a great conversation with Liam and Uncle Nemo about something- Killian wasn't paying much attention to this conversation though, as he and his dad were apparently in a contest to see who could discreetly pass the other the most displeased glare.

 Eventually, Brennan said he'd like to raise a toast to Liam, to congratulate him on his accomplishment.

 "I've never been more proud in my life," he said, "I've always been proud of Liam, but especially today. He's the most thoughtful and witty son a father could ask for, and it's been an unmatched delight to see the man he's become."

 "At least dad has one son he cares about," Killian thought.

 "This summer, Liam's going to begin his apprenticeship with my brother, Nemo," Brennan said, "he'll start doing some real work, helping others and making the world a better place as a contractor."

 The eye contact he gave Killian made it evident those words were meant to slight him. He'd never supported Killian's art career, to this day still thinking he could be doing something better with his life.

 "I hope you know how happy I am that you came into my life, Liam," Brennan said, "you and your mother filled a hole in my heart I never thought could be repaired. I love you more than you'll ever know, and am so proud of you. May the wind fill your sails and the sun rise to meet you, Liam."

 KIllian bit his lip, trying to keep it together, his father's words finally confirming a suspicion he'd always had- he was trying to replace his mom and Lee with Fiona and Liam. He was filling their place in his heart with someone else, like they never mattered to him at all, like he almost thought it'd be better to forget they ever existed.

 But how could he forget his late wife when their son still stood before them? How could he forget Lee when so much of who Killian was was learned from him?

 He couldn't.

 He couldn't fill their space in his life without pushing Killian out of it.

 "No wonder he doesn't want me in his life anymore," Killian thought, "I'm just a reminder of the hole in his heart he thought he couldn't fill."

 His dad walked by, not even looking at Killian, to shake hands with and give a hug to his son, Liam- the only son he had room in his life for.

 Emma pulled out her phone and looked at the time.

 "Oh, Killian," she said, touching his arm to get his attention, "don't we need to be leaving soon? You had that commitment at the museum tonight."

 "I don't remember anything like that," Killian thought, but then saw Emma wink at him.

 "Oh," he laughed, winking at her, "I'd almost forgotten."

 "You have to leave already?" Liam asked.

 "The museum needs me to promote a new work tonight," Killian said, "I'd almost forgotten." He gave Liam a hug and they said their goodbyes, and within three minutes they were in the car on their way back, having had the good sense to reload their belongings in it that morning and telling Fiona she could keep the dish he'd brought the potato salad in until next time he saw them.

---

 Killian browsed all the thoughts in his mind as they left town, trying to find one thought to say that would convey what he wanted. As grateful as he was at Emma's escape plan, he knew what it meant- she was feeling just as uncomfortable as he was.

 "I'm such a jerk," Killian thought, "What kind of idiot would bring someone he loves into this kind of disaster?"

 Emma was like the most precious, exotic, delicate, beautiful flower in the whole world world, and what he'd done, bringing her into this mess- and putting her into a compromising position where she'd be a target for his dad- it was like he'd seen that beautiful flower, repotted it in playground sand in a mayonnaise tub, and then locked it in a dark, moldy closet, just because he thought it was beautiful and foolishly deemed himself worthy of it.

 And so, they drove in silence, Killian unsure what to even begin to say. "No offense," Emma said, using her sharp tongue to break the ice, "but your dad's a creep."

 "None taken," Killian said.

 "I just couldn't stick around there," Emma shook her head.

 "I'm so sorry for bringing you." Killian said, "I didn't expect him to be so unkind to you." 

 "Me?" Emma asked, seeming shocked that he even said that, "I made up that excuse to get you out of there."

 "Me?" Killian asked, surprised and confused, "why?"

 "Your dad pretty much publicly disowned you there after giving you a ride on the guilt trip of your life because of me."

 "I know that, Swan," Kilian said, taking his eyes off the road a moment to try to read her, reminding himself again of how gorgeous she was, "but why did you feel the need to get me out of it? I'm used to my dad." "You shouldn't have to be," Emma said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "You deserve to be treasured."

 He half laughed, but when he looked at Emma, she seemed genuine.

 "Thank you, love," Killian said, wishing he didn't have to have both hands on the steering wheel, "to hear such a beautiful treasure call me a treasure in return is flattering, to say the least."

 Emma's flustered smile returned.

 "Do you wanna grab a bite to eat on the way back?" Killian asked, "my treat?"

 "Sounds great," Emma said, "pizza or chinese?"

 "Your heart's desire," he said, trying to romance her with even his own indecision.

 "Nuh-uh," she said, "you just had the worst day of your life, and you're treating me. We're having your heart's desire."

 "All my heart desires is you," Killian said.

 "Pizza, then?" Emma asked.

 "Sounds perfect."

 "Not as perfect as someone else I know."

 He looked at her and smiled, hoping they came upon a pizza place soon, so that he could stop worrying about driving and give Emma his undivided attention.

#captain swan #once upon a time #killian jones #emma swan #ouat #cs ff #cs fanfiction #cs au #once upon a time season 6 #brennan jones #liam jones ii #captain nemo ouat