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sneezemonster15 · 1 year

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i can totally understand why young girls would ship SS in the early-mid 2000’s. it was so easy to self-insert. take me for example, i was a young child with an unrequited crush on a popular boy and a total loser. i projected hard. she started getting on my nerves really quick tho. by the time i figured out how to watch shippuden (it was only available online in my country) i could no longer stand her. i know many people grew out of that ship as they matured themselves and realized just how bad it was, but i seriously don’t understand how so many of the og fans are still around, reveling in scraps given to them only in the form of non-canon material. it’s so embarrassing. and knowing that so many grown ass women cling to that nasty ship as if their lives depend on it makes me squirm in discomfort.

Wait I am confused. This person was a boy or a girl?

I think I understand. I know for a fact that there are many SNS fans who once were SS shippers. But they grew up and took responsibility for how they consumed media, which happens when a certain amount of self awareness sinks in..with time and experience..internally processing data received from the external world, which as a result, sharpens your intuition. Which then directly affects how you view and then process further external data. Data gathered from real life and media.

I suspect that many SS/NH shippers who are insanely delusional about their ship are simply operating on emotions. Think about the kind of arguments they give others. They know what constitutes canon, what doesn't. They know SNS is legit, it's all fucking there. They know SS is bullshit, they know Kishi mocks Sakura and SS like no one's business (like honestly, who's asking him to do it? Really what obligation is he under? This otherwise humble, quietly intelligent, kinda goofy, a bit childlike and deeply introspective at the same time, and frankly kinda mousy man, says such blatantly snarky and downright insulting shit about his own characters as if he ain't the author who is freaking writing them that way in the first place. Lol, no really, Kishi is a bundle of contradictions himself.) Lol.

But coming back, I really do struggle sometimes to find the right tone to talk about SS stans or address them. I suspect internet and anonymity gives them a free rein to exercise fulfilment of desires indiscriminately. They can behave however they want, believe whatever makes them happy and no one gets to destroy that as long as they are fulfilled. Numbers help. Stans give and receive validation from their peers. Whatever external validation they need to keep believing in SS ship, despite everything that negates it in canon, they get from others in their ship and they give validation to them in return. A sense of community builds. There's strength in numbers. And so dogmas and headcanons acquire a semblance of truth for them, through this very effective echo chamber, it fortifies their wacky theories and headcanons and they sheath themselves deliberately from reason, or anything that threatens to question their beliefs/belief systems that serve the object of their self comfort, desire, fulfilment. Their beliefs are really emotional in nature, you can't fight emotions, and internet gives them a platform to experience those emotions. Age doesn't matter if one isn't self aware. Lots of old people are shitty. Of course, I don't support enabling it but I guess I understand it a bit. Because I also get emotional here. I feel much more free to experience my raw emotions without trying to camouflage it too much. I reasoned with myself soon after joining this fandom, my first fandom, that here, I was a fan first, so I shouldn't judge myself too harshly for my opinions and understanding. A lot of which is way more emphatic compared to how much I would let it show it IRL. Media, stories and art have that effect on people.

And I feel conflicted sometimes. But well, the same reason exculpates me as well. I can be emotional and talk about them freely because this is a fandom and we are all here because of the same story that affected all of us. The only difference is we are insecure about different things. Lol.

Which is why I make it a point to not interact with them, because I know I would lose my patience with them much sooner than I with other people I don't generally agree with.

I understand why women do it. Even if I cannot relate with Sakura. So I vent on this platform while not actively engaging them.

But at the end of day, I feel everyone should expect so much more from themselves because more than anything else, Sakura's and Hinata's characters by design are so limited. Like I know it's all tied up with their self esteem, or its lack thereof, but at least don't glorify something that makes you this limited and miserable. Don't tell me it's better than everything else and is the best thing in the world because it is not. It is so small, So cheap. Such a piddling thing, so reductive and limiting and humiliating. Why project on those two? You should expect so much better from yourself. Like why can't you dream bigger at least in your imagination? Where you can have everything or anything you want, and nothing gives you a better opportunity to do that than media, but you choose the most limiting of all things and characters? Isn't it suffocating and painful? Well, in any case, just don't glorify it, turning a blind eye to facts and then gaslight me for my stuff. That's not acceptable. Even if I know where you are coming from, don't justify it. It gives the wrong impression to others, especially other women, who have enough odds stacked against them already for you to jump in on the bandwagon too, and being women yourselves no less, it's humiliating for both of us.

They use their emotions as a free ticket to say and do things indiscriminately, without thought and honesty. Cultivating emotions (and sharing them) should enrich you and help you grow, not make you regress even more.

#well that went on.....#lol #no but i have thought about it and it bothers me #i dont want to be uncharitable but credit where credit is due i guess #naruto #anti ss #anti sakura #anti hinata #ask

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prince-tulip · 1 year

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I need to stop trying to be everything for everyone.

I cant let go of people, i have a severe abandonment issue that has gone too far. My reality became so blurry, with so many people wanting things from me..cognitive distortions and people pleasing stemming from overwhelming guilt and shame and fear..living off defense mechanisms first..

Its like if ive done wrong to you, i feel I have to be punished and be exactly whoever to whomever person im involved with. Which that plays into daily life, i feel I always have to be how they want me to be, im HEAVILY influenced by the world and often times in bad ways, its a big reason i dont just live my life.. Not to say either that i dont have genuine emotions and love for literally anyone ive loved or even if they hurt me and are toxic, i won't leave. When something i cant handle happens, i look for an escape route maybe? But i know i don't actually want to leave or cut someone off..My feelings become caught in a bundle of wires, words become misdirected, impulsive and if i have a trauma bond with you, subconscious feelings and past events come screaming at my face, confusing my reality more, saying and doing things i shouldn't. All things ive tried so hard to heal from..i have so much love to give and I think overall just genuine connection is what im looking for..even if thats just as friends with whoever my sentiment gets the best of me too, i feel as if everything must mean something but thats just not true and its going to keep killing me if i think like that...that's the big question..

What does connection mean to me? What form do i want it in and how can i better understand how to communicate with my loved ones or future companions? Growing up it was always soulmate, marriage, kids, happy life but i dont think(as of right now, i do hope one day) that the typical life isn't for me..societys need to be perfect, to be perceived as happy and successful, forcing a life out of want oppose to need..i dont understand..

Maybe though..just maybe nothing can grow if you dont allow it to and thats a fault on me.."here comes the contradiction" lmao...*insert*

Could i just be honest and communicate how i properly feel? Yes..but with how my mental illness is, i dont know how i feel. Every thought, perspective, moral is just contradictory. Every second. Its a constant battle of not self destructing, hurting people, picking fights, loss of interest, feeling numb, thinking every is meant for a reason when its not that fucking serious. Its not just negative moods either. Happiness comes in big waves that feel uncomfortable, pleasure feels wrong, like i dont deserve it, in any form.

Im riddled with guilt and regrets..

I feel torn through out time, belonging to people from different points in my life, struggling to feel whole and until i do, especially when it comes to love, romance and building together.

I cant have those, it burns me out. I focus too much on them, then burn out which causes problems and personal anger, sadness, resentment in everyone involved..

I never understood i had a need for validation but oh god, how i understand now..I never understood cognitive distortion but oh god, how i understand now..i never understood how to truly express myself and my desires..but how i understand now..too late... Ironically.

My honest intentions questioned due to my lack of mental understanding, a lack of time perception, a lack of being able to sift through my emotions of how i truly feel, a lack of being able to realize i dont need to people please, a lack of realizing i dont have boundaries for myself or others, a lack of not being able to not self destruct, if i hurt or disappointed someone i feel i need to fix things and be someone that i actually dont really wanna be but i end up filling that role because i need to fix something or i just have a personality switch and im saying and doing things i really don't mean, its so polarizing and its no ones fault, its so much my fault....

I now realize i do not need to feel like i need to be punished..or that i dont deserve good things...The lack of not letting things be natural, not letting things just happen, always fear driven and being controlled by my defense mechanisms. This overwhelming guilt, shame and disgust i harbor in my heart of all the wrongs ive ever made, it all haunts me and im so familiar with it, its almost if thats all i will feel my life, as if thats what i subconsciously wanted...not needed..i didn't need this..but here i am..

#people pleaser #bpd thoughts #self healing #mental health #mental illness #therapy #literature #writing #venting #daily diary #cognitive distortions #avoidant

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wwillowtrees · 2 years

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FALLING FOR YA

a reluctant reader begins to fall in love with the hopeless romantic and infamous bastard, camilo madrigal. what happens on their journey? stick around to find out.

camilo madrigal x filipina (your choice if it’s full or half or etc)! fem reader | a multi-chapter story — taking place before and during the events of the movie

translations can be found at the end of each chapter! ^^

enjoy <3

read all the chapters here !

beta-read!

CH 5.3 - A NIGHT TO REMEMBER | PART 3 OF 3

The girl heaved in and out, her breathing uneven as she rushed out words in distress.

“The tiles were falling and there were cracks everywhere and... the candle almost went out.”

The room begins to fill with uncomfortable murmurs, the atmosphere much heavier than before. You slowly turn to Camilo in concern, your eyebrows furrowing when you find him completely still. His pupils were dilated in fear, eyes wide open as he bit the inside of his cheek.

You gulped nervously, your body skittish as a result of the tense air. You look back to where all the commotion was, eyeing the girl with a cautious look. The sounds of footsteps quickly break your staring, however.

“Show me.”

The same old lady stepped forward, her wrinkly fingers clutching onto her black shawl like a lifeline. The young teen in question stiffened at the attention, unable to move for a moment before nodding viscously. She turned on her heel and walked straight out with everybody in the room right on her tail. You hear Camilo walk away without a word, and you quickly warn everyone about the shattered ceramic plate before running after him.

The boy flinched when your arm brushed against his, his agitated frame only loosening when he turns to see your worried face. You bit your lip before asking quietly.

“You okay Camilo?”

He gave you his best smile and awkwardly nodded to your question. The boy swiftly looked away right after, eyes tunneled on the opened door. You grimaced at how quickly he brushed you off, and you stared at him with a knowing gaze as you obediently followed the moving crowd. Albeit very much unconvinced with his answer, you didn’t press any further. People flooded out of the room, whispering amongst themselves as they headed to the courtyard.

Once you had stepped out of the room, you had let out a confused noise at what you saw.

“What? No, that’s— the cracks were there, they were... everywhere.” The girl murmured, rushing down the spiral stairs. Strangers alike stood around the second-floor balcony, judgmental looks plastered on their faces as they surveyed the area. Contradicting the teenager’s statement, everything was completely intact, there was not a single crack to be found. And as you looked up to the glowing candle that rested in front of a window sill, it continued to shine bright.

Things were not looking good for her. The murmurs were starting to become more venomous, gossip being spread around faster than wildfire.

“Did she fake it?”

“Isn’t she the giftless one? Maybe she was just jealous.”

“How rude.”

Their seething whispers rang in your ear and you started to shrink down at the critical words, words that weren’t even directed at you. And if you felt embarrassed, you could barely fathom how she felt right then and there.

“The house was in trouble, the— the candle was...”

You bit your lip and turned away, your body physically unable to look at the poor teenager. You catch Camilo fidgeting in place, the shapeshifter looking eerily similar to how he was at the beginning of the ceremony, completely apprehensive and tense. He didn’t even need to meet your gaze for you to know his eyes were wide in horror. The boy was becoming a bundle of nerves, and you weren’t gonna let it continue any further. While ignoring your pained heart, you carefully reach out to him. Your fingers twitch in hesitation for a brief moment, but you brush off any second thoughts you had before finally grabbing his shaking hand.

This catches Camilo’s attention, muddy green eyes that were filled with so much emotion meeting yours. You gave him a small squeeze, hoping that it would reassure him in some way. And by the way his shoulders loosened, you could say it was a success.

“Abuela, I promise—“

You look back to the girl, but the old lady’s raised hand obscured her face. Even from your point of view, you could practically see her disappointed face. You grimaced, her menacing aura reaching you and most likely everyone else in the room too.

“That’s enough.”

The two exchange a short, yet silent conversation before the woman turns around and gives everyone a confident look. The judgmental whispers were beginning to die down when she opened her mouth to speak to address the crowd.

“There is nothing wrong with La Casa Madrigal. The magic is strong… and so are the drinks!” She exclaimed, the adults chuckling at her joke. She smiled at their reactions before clasping her hands together, her clapping echoing loudly throughout the open area.

“Please— music! A bailar, a bailar!”

And suddenly, you hear someone snap their fingers. You turn your head to your right, finding a man with glasses and in a formal suit signal for something with a motion of his hand. Luisa promptly came bursting out of the bedroom with a heavy piano in her hands right after, and they shared tight smiles while the man skillfully played a short tune. The melody he produced was enough to lighten up the room, and the now-relaxed crowd dispersed as upbeat music began to fill the air once more.

You let out a relieved sigh, thankful that the whole fiasco seemed to be over. You felt a small tug on your arm, and you looked back to see Camilo tiredly smiling at you.

“Wanna go back? I didn’t really get you your sparkler, didn’t I?”

You gave him a pointed look, quietly letting him know he wasn’t getting off that easy. He may have wanted to move on as if nothing had happened, but you weren’t going to let him dismiss any of your worryings a second time— and that was for certain.

Thus you stared at him for a long while, stubbornly refusing to let him wriggle out of your watchful eye as you tightened your grip on him. And without needing to say another word, he sighed in defeat. It was as if he was a whole new person, a different character from the one he constantly played around you.

“Not here—” He muttered quietly, rubbing his thumb across your knuckles. His lips pursed inward, his head tilting to the side. His eyes were focused elsewhere, and you followed his gaze out of pure curiosity. Amidst the sea of people, you were able to catch Julieta guiding the teenage girl down the stairs. But before you could question it, Camilo tugged you backward— prompting you to look back.

You stared at the backside of his skull as he pulled you into the magical bedroom once more, the two of you weaving through the tight crowd with ease.

“And definitely not now.”

You couldn’t help but sigh at his words. While it certainly wasn’t what you were hoping to hear, it was a start nonetheless. You looked down at your intertwined hands, a small smile creeping onto your lips at the sight.

“Yeah, I’d like a sparkler.”

“You didn’t have to get like— half of the guy’s sparklers, you know.” You teased, waving the roaring sparkler you had around. You and Camilo sat behind a small waterfall, the water aggressively dropping from a grassy ledge that rested on top. Its muted sky blue color warped the room’s warm light, creating a soft blue hue that colored your bodies along with the dimly lit path you two rested on.

The people above you partied loudly, but the blaring music and indistinguishable chatter were practically drowned out by the harsh pitter-patter of the cool water. Camilo laughed as he lit another sparkler with a match, the stick making small popping noises as its flame grew brighter by the second.

“The more the better, and besides,” He carefully flicks his sparkler at you, nudging towards your own sparkler; Its flame drew closer and closer to the end of the stick, its glow dwindling.

“These things run out quick.”

You huffed in disappointment, helplessly watching your sparkler’s light fade away. You brought up your knees, the grassy blades itching the dry skin of your feet.

“That was my fourth one.”

Camilo hummed, twisting his body away from you to grab one of the many sparklers that lay beside him. He shifted his torso back to facing you the second he was done, twirling the sparkler in between his fingers as he did.

“And so that is why,” The shapeshifter hands you the unlit firework, a sly smirk on his face.

“I had to get half of that guy’s sparklers.”

You scoffed, playfully hanging your head low in defeat.

“I guess you bring up a good point.”

Camilo smiled, extending his still-lit match to you. You muttered a small thanks, moving your sparkler closer to its flame.

“Don’t I always?” The boy blew out the match’s flame once a few sparks started to appear on your sparkler, and you pulled back the small firework with a playful hum.

“When?” You asked, enjoying the annoyed look that plastered his face. The boy huffed, and you threw your head back as you cackled loudly.

“Dios mio, you’re insufferable.” He muttered, scrunching his nose in feigned distaste when you nudged his shoulder. He flicked the brunt-out match towards you, the stick pathetically hitting against your skirt and falling onto the grassy ground.

“I learned from the very best!”

He groaned, and you couldn’t help but laugh even harder. You instinctively laid your head on his shoulder, your loud laughter not quite calming down yet.

“Sorry, sorry.” You chuckled, creating half of a simplistic heart in the cool air with the help of your sparkler. The line had a small yellow glow, creating a beautiful contrast against the clear blue water.

“Truce?” You asked, giving your best charming smile. And to your surprise, even if your half of the heart had already faded out, he drew the other half next to where your drawing had been.

“Truce.”

You let out a small “Woo!” in celebration, causing Camilo to let out a breathless chuckle. An unsuspecting smile tugs your lips at the sweet sound, but you welcomed it with open arms. Everything was absolutely enchanting, the semi-quiet yet relaxing atmosphere calming you instantly. Insects buzzed loudly as the plants around you swayed with the gentle breeze. The vines that hung above you clung onto the small dirt overhang, with small water droplets falling from its leaves now and again onto mossy rocks.

It felt all too fairytale-like, and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was all a dream. That in any minute now, you would wake up in your cold bed, all alone once more. You slowly moved your head to see Camilo’s face better, giving him a cautious look in the process; You didn't want to leave the magical trance you’ve placed yourself in, to willingly return to the nauseating journey that is reality.

But things weren’t always so great when they were imaginary.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

And you had a feeling he knew that as well. You watched as his adam’s apple bobbed down ever so slightly, his jaw clenched tighter than ever before. He laughed stiffly, turning to you with a fixed smile already prepared.

“Do I?” He teased, his mouth closing shut when he caught wind of your serious expression. You quirked a brow, taking your sweet time in examining his constipated face. You and Camilo’s sparklers had long gone out by the time you spoke.

“You don’t really have to, but I’d prefer it if you do wanna talk.” You lifted your head from his shoulder, the warmth that came from his body slowly fading away with each second.

You weren’t even sure if your relationship with him could handle a conversation like, well— this. Sure, you have gotten closer to him the past months; Constantly goofing around town and mildly flirting with each other when you guys felt a tad bit adventurous, but neither of you really had to get all emotional with one another. You didn’t think you would ever even need to, but life was just full of surprises, who knew?

And thus you held your breath as you waited for Camilo to respond, anticipating every second as the boy stared out into the distance. He clicked his tongue, the noise echoing loudly as he finally opened his mouth to speak.

“I don’t know— guess I got scared?” He said mechanically. He sighed, waving a hand through his untamed hair. He leaned forward, his elbow touching his propped-up knee.

“You know, if the house falls apart, that means all of my family’s magic falls with it.” He turned to you, eyes slightly glossy. You tilted your head to the side, giving him your undivided attention. He gripped his hair, unruly curls scrunching up under his fist.

“And how would the world react if my greatness suddenly disappears?” Camilo joked, his smile more calculated than the carefree one you’re oh used to. Your lips fall into a flat line, worry creasing into the wrinkles of your forehead. An uncomfortable feeling pooled in the insides of your stomach at his statement.

“By greatness, do you mean your gift or you as a person?”

Your body continued to drown in anxiety when he froze up at your words. He looked at you with wide eyes, his mouth opening just for even more stunned to come out. His shoulders deflated when he couldn’t formulate a response, his voice seemingly stuck in his throat. You were about to ask if he was alright when he suddenly rested his head on your shoulder, causing you to let out a small yelp in surprise.

“Which one is it for you.” He muttered after a brief moment of silence, his eyes avoiding yours. He curled himself in, bringing a knee up to his chest as he threw away his sparkler. You hummed in acknowledgment, taking in a deep breath before cautiously laying your head on top of his.

“You, by a long shot.” You could hear Camilo’s breath hitched at that.

God, how you so badly wanted to cry it out, to shout at the boy that his gift wasn’t the only thing he was good for. You wanted to open his eyes, to scream on rooftops that he was the gift till he couldn’t hear you any longer. But in the end, you settled with a soft whisper, all because you knew that your words were practically louder than anything the oblivious teen has ever heard.

“Huh.” He said, seemingly dumbfounded.

“De veras?” You nodded in response, dropping your dead sparkler to finally let your hands-free.

“Cross my heart, I’m telling the truth.” To emphasize your statement, you drew a small cross across your chest. Camilo chuckled at that, shaking his head in amusement.

“Well, if you’re telling the truth,” The boy paused, lifting his head away. He crossed his heart as well, a silly grin on his face. His joy was infectious, to say the least.

“I’ll believe your word.”

“Good!” You quipped, grabbing the box of matches that lay on the grass, forgotten. It was time to reignite the night.

“Now, wouldn’t it be a waste if we didn’t use all the sparklers?” You called out, shaking the box playfully.

Camilo's smirk grew wider, grabbing a sparkler that rested by his side and throwing it at you. It almost flew above your head, but luckily you were able to catch it just in time before it could. When you turned back, you found Camilo holding two sparklers up.

“I suppose it would.”

Ever since that private conversation, you two silently vowed to never bring it up again unless it was absolutely necessary. One shared look between you two and the message was sealed. Thus the night went on, the both of you stopping for no one.

You two would share laughs, tears of joy, and so many more. As time passed, you realized that you’ve never felt so alive, and you could not be any more grateful that everything turned out the way it did. You smiled when Camilo wrapped an arm around your shoulders, the boy tugging you close as he waved his sparkler in the air.

“From now on, Y/N, you are always invited to every single party that mi familia hosts.”

Your heart leaped at the thought of what those parties could entail, just you and Camilo possibly away from the rest of the world. And the fact he said that statement so easily, filled so much truth in each syllable, made your body flutter.

“Because now I know that it will not be as fun without you!” He told as if it was a matter of fact. You chuckled, pushing away his sparkler that swayed dangerously close to his face with yours.

“I’m honored, flattered even.”

“As you should.” He grinned, his features kissed with a soft blue and yellow-colored glow. You laughed when he spontaneously spun you around, your skirt flowing freely as it twirled.

You stepped outward, your hand still holding his. The boy shimmied his shoulders as he neared, doing his very best to snap his fingers with the sparkler nudged in between his fingertips. The suddenness of it all made you laugh.

“You never fail to surprise me.”

“Good, because I never want to get boring.”

You smiled, letting yourself be pulled by Camilo. Your legs moved in ways you never thought was possible when you were around the boy, but you suppose that’s how it was when you were with him. He had that charisma that very few could ever dream of pulling off, and that just somehow made him even more mesmerizing.

Your elbow brushed against his, your entangled arms the only thing keeping your bodies apart. His face shined bright, eyes pooling with passion. You smiled, and you were about to say something that was probably witty when a child-like voice entered your ears. You couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed at the prospect of being interrupted, and you assumed Camilo felt the same by the way he closed his eyes shut the second he heard it.

Both of your smiles faltered slightly as you two searched for the owner of the noise. You let out a short hum when you saw a kid running down grassy stairs and seemingly towards your direction. You gently pushed Camilo right after, urging the boy to look behind him.

He gave you a bemused look in return, but his face immediately lit up in realization once you subtly nudged your head forward. He turned his head to the direction you were pushing him towards, not wasting any time in walking up to the young child. You two met him halfway, and once you got up close you easily recognized the younger.

It was the boy with the new gift, his unruly curls and white suit too iconic to be missed. Camilo kneeled down, ruffling his hair as he whispered soft praises to the kid. Your heart clenched in happiness at the sight, and your body was turning all warm and fuzzy. Dear god, it was simply too cute!

“What brings you here Antonio?” Camilo asked, pinching the boy’s, or Antonio’s as you should say, round cheeks. Antonio whined at the contact but smiled nonetheless.

“It’s time for everyone to go home, and mami said to fetch her!” Suddenly, the kid pointed to you. You blinked in surprise, not expecting the sudden shift of attention towards you. A flicker of sadness seeped through Camilo’s face at his words, and you couldn’t deny that it made you the slightest bit happy.

“She said her parents were looking for her.” He explained, sending you an earnest smile as he did. A sudden wave of dopamine came crashing down on you, and you couldn’t stop the smile that grew on your face. You knew the kid for about ten seconds— max, but you already knew you’d risk it all for the kid to be happy.

Sensing the trance you were in, Camilo asked the questions that unknowingly itched your brain for you.

“How’d you know she was with me?”

Antonio perked at that, scrunching his nose as he grinned. Kids were not your forte by any means but, perhaps, you could make an exception tonight, you thought.

“I just sent some of my bird friends to go find you!” The introverted boy rambled, fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves as he did.

“And they did!”

He was so happy about the prospect of his gift, and you couldn’t help but be happy for him as well. You chuckled as you grabbed a fistful of your skirt. And under the suddenly intimidating stare of Camilo, you gave the youngest of the group a graceful bow.

“Well well, aren’t you a talented one! Antonio correct?”

Antonio giggled at your words, his shoulders bouncing as he did.

“Mhm! But my friends did all the work, really!”

You hummed, feigning a thoughtful look before nodding.

“In that case, give them my thanks as well.”

He smiled at that, small wrinkles forming around his lips. He jumped in his place, seemingly happy at the praise you’ve given.

“I will! Thanks…?”

“Y/N.”

“Y/N!”

Unbeknownst to you, Camilo watched the whole thing with a wide grin on his face. His eyes constantly shifted between the two of you, a look of adoration plastered on his face as he watched you two talk. He absolutely adored the thought of his two favorite people interacting, and the fact it actually happened made him ecstatic beyond reason. Although but wouldn’t tell you that, or to anyone really, he was completely content with selfishly keeping that little secret to himself.

The teenage boy laughed, patting Antonio’s shoulder before turning to you.

“Well then, introductions aside.” He extended his arm out to you, giving you his famous charming smile. Even if you’ve seen it a thousand times, your still, and will probably continue to, heart leaped with joy.

You wrapped your hand around the arm he offered, sending him a small smile of your own. That grin only grew when you watched Camilo ever so gently grab ahold of Antonio’s hand, the size difference making you coo internally.

“Let’s bring Y/N home!”

The three of you headed out to the courtyard, the walk there filled with bright chatter. From the staircase, you saw the silhouettes of your parents talking to another pair of adults, which urged something in you to walk just a tiny bit slower. The muscles in your body may have been tired, screaming for you to go to the comforts of your bed, but your heart certainly wasn’t ready to leave yet, the thing aching at the prospect of going back home.

You didn’t know why you felt this way, but the closer you got, you knew you couldn’t keep stalling. You had to leave at some point, it wasn’t your house after all. Although it certainly felt like it, and all because of a certain teenage boy. How stupidly cheesy.

As soon as you three reached the familiar entrance, Antonio had let go of Camilo’s hand and bolted to a woman in a sunny yellow dress.

“Mami! Mami! They’re here!” He exclaimed, giggling as he launched himself onto the woman. The older smiled, small wrinkles forming around her eyes. She spun the kid around before putting him down, staring at him lovingly as she planted a kiss on his forehead.

“I knew you could do it!” She praised, hugging him tightly. Antonio happily returned the hug, standing on his tippy-toes just so he could wrap his arms around his mother’s shoulders. The tiny gesture made your heart swell.

“Ah, Y/N there you are!”

You quickly moved your eyes away from the two, and you found your mother waving at you wildly. She had a mischievous grin on her face, but you couldn’t ponder about the implications of it any further when you felt your feet move on their own. You were confused at first— but after a step or two, warm blood rushed to your cheeks, the air suddenly getting heavier.

Dear God, you were still wrapped around Camilo, weren’t you? You unconsciously tightened your grip, horrifically feeling an arm that wasn’t yours. How in god’s name could you even forget?! The boy was literally right next to you?! You wanted to let go so badly, to quickly reassure your mom that there was absolutely nothing between you two. But in a cruel twist of fate, you couldn’t, your body simply wouldn’t let you move away from Camilo’s addicting hold.

You cringed inwardly, armoring yourself for the relentless amount of teasing that was to come as you walked up to your parents.

“Hey mama, papa.” You greeted stiffly, grimacing at the intimidating look they shared.

“Hello, Mrs. and ms. L/N!” Camilo told, greatly contrasting your hesitant voice. He looked to the adult that stood beside your father, his grip on you tightening for a brief moment. From the corner of your eye, you saw a slight twinge of red coloring the tips of his ears.

“Papi.”

You stifled a laugh, finding the way his voice suddenly strained slightly comical. But you suppose the boy did not like that, as he gently collided his hip with yours in annoyance. The man shook his head at his son’s actions, his luscious curls bouncing as he did. So that’s where he got it from.

“It’s just me Camilo, you know I don’t bite.” The man joked, laughing as he did. He patted your father’s back, bidding your parents a graceful farewell before walking away. He gave you a passing glance on the way, smirking to himself as he gave Camilo a knowing wink.

And it seemed he got the message as the magical teen groaned right after. He dropped your arm, the warmth you two shared now fading away to oblivion. You did your best to hide your disappointment when you met his gaze.

“Talk to you soon?” He sheepishly shrugged, looking at you with hopeful eyes as he asked. You gave him your best smile and nodded, adoring how his grin grew just a tiny bit at that.

“Yeah, but I never had a choice did I?”

“Nope!”

You chuckled, waving him off dismissively. You headed over to your parents, quietly letting them know you were finally ready to leave before looking behind your shoulder.

“See you, Camilo!”

The boy let out a breathless laugh, shaking his head as he waved.

“See you!”

Your parents loudly called for you, shouting something about not wanting to keep your driver waiting, which quickly snatched your attention. And with that, rushed out the door as soon as you heard it. You briefly glanced back at the house, finding Camilo, who was now leaning against the doorway, still staring at you. He waved even harder when you met his gaze, causing you to giggle loudly.

You returned his wave, making sure to match his energy as you did before finally walking over to the outskirts of the home. You spotted your parents already getting on the old wooden wagon that brought you all here, the tired driver in front nudging you to hurry up.

You nodded, quickening your pace in response. Blades of tuff grass tickled your feet as you ran, the night somehow more free as to when you first arrived. You skidded in your steps, gripping onto the sides of the vehicle as you hopped on the back of it.

Your mother’s lips tugged upward the second you sat beside her, the grin unwavering even when the wagon began to shake haphazardly. She said nothing as the vehicle began to move away from the Madrigal residence, staring at you with impatient eyes all the while. You grumbled to yourself, bracing yourself for the worst to come.

When empty yards of grass soon turned into rows and rows of houses, the bumpy road filled with fellow tired party attendees that just desperately wanted to home, her intimidating eyes widen.

You sighed, already counting down the seconds in your head.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1—

Your mother squealed in your ear, a wide grin on her face as she shook you enthusiastically. Strangers sent you and your mother weird looks as your wagon passed by, but honestly? You could care less at that moment. A few judgmental stares were nothing compared to whatever your mother had planned for you.

Tomorrow morning is gonna be absolutely horrid, you note.

Dictionary

La Casa Madrigal - the madrigal home

Dios mio - dear god

De veras - really?

PLAYLIST FICS

#camilo madrigal x reader #camilo x reader #camilo x you #camilo x y/n #camilo imagine #camilo fanfic #camilo madrigal #encanto camilo #encanto x reader #encanto x you #encanto x y/n #encanto fics #encanto imagines #encanto fanfics #encanto #Spotify

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smartclass · 1 year

Text

Digital Teacher Learning App

Code and Pixels is recognized as one of the “10 Most promising K-12 Tech Service Providers-2017” by Silicon India Magazine.

You may have given wonderful gifts to your child to make him/her happy. But this time, for a change, GIFT your child a ‘Bundle of Knowledge’ that will transform him/her from an ordinary student to a brilliant performer in school.

Why Tuitions

Tuitions are basically meant to recall the subject that was taught in the class. Understanding ability of each student will be different in classroom. Despite sincere attempt by School class teacher, one student may understand 90% in classroom and another student may understand only 60% in classroom. Tuitions are meant to fill the knowledge gap. Whatever student could not understand in the class should be covered in the Tuitions. If “xyz” topic is taught in the School today then the same “xyz” topic must be taught in the tuition so that student will get 100% knowledge about the subject. Some parents want to engage their children in a useful manner. Instead of wasting the time, parents prefer to have their children get involved in educational activities after school hours.

Where Tuitions are failing:

Child spends 8+ hours of his time in school with almost 8 different types of teachers to educate him/her. Each teacher has his/her own method of teaching. As we have learnt, Tuitions are basically meant for revision of subject or recall of subject, what is taught on that particular day in school, but not to learn the actual subject. In the tuitions, the student is expected to recall what he learnt in the school. But, Tuition teacher is repeating the same full-length class again in the tuition on the particular concept in his/her own way which will be different from school teaching in many ways. The way, approach, method that the Tuition teacher delivers his/her lectures to a student will contradict that of the School teacher. This will confuse the student in understanding the concept. If School teacher and Tuition teacher are not on the same wavelength then student will undergo huge mental tension and get into a confused state as to whom to follow and end up with poor learning. If the classroom has 25 students, then tuitions are also having 10 - 20 people in one batch. As a parent, the purpose of sending our children for tuition is to get personal attention. In 10 - 20 members, how do you expect to get personal attention for your child? At least in school class everyone is from the same class whereas in tuition 20 members will belong to different classes. Tuition time may be around 2 hours. How much time will the tuition teacher personally spend with your child? One teacher cannot handle all the subjects efficiently. You cannot expect a Tuition teacher to be an expert in all subjects. Generally, Maths and Sciences are covered in Tuitions. What about other subjects which are equally important?

DIGITAL SOLUTION for Tuition Problems:

Digital Teacher App is the only solution. DVD /USB versions are being used by thousands of children and now, Android based APP version is available for ease of usage. Thousands of parents have trusted DIGITAL TEACHER and purchased to their children as a supplementary learning tool. Computers and gadgets fascinate children. Instead of humans teaching tuitions, they prefer a gadget teaching them. Theory and concepts are depicted in 2D/3D animations so that there will not be any misunderstanding of a concept. Student can repeat the topics any number of times till he/she is satisfied. Not only Maths and Physical Science but they can also learn Biology, English and Social Studies.( AP and Telangana Board) The new education system allows students to write the answer in their own words about the topic rather than using the bookish language. Once a student understands the topic, he can present it in his/her own way in exams. Students can learn any time at any place, any subject, any topic, and any number of times. Let us look at the financial aspect of this software. The Monthly Tuition Fees per student is Rs.1500/- (average). So, the annual fees is Rs. 18,000/. Digital Teacher is offered at Rs.200/- per month which for 10 months it costs Rs. 2000/- only BENEFIT: This amount is for five subjects which means you spend just Rs.40/- (Rs.200/5) per subject every month. And in the bargain, get the best educational platform for your child’s future.

ABOUT APP

The conventional ways of instruction have always left a huge gap in teaching-learning experience isolating the teacher from the students.A typical student may not properly comprehend and visualize what the teacher delivers in the classroom using words and static pictures without proper care about individual differences visualizing ability and the pace of learning.In this scenario, a weak student is left behind and feels neglected.Digital Teacher App is an animated, self-learning multimedia solution, which increases the interest levels and the retention power of the students.Critical concepts are being developed and packaged using multimedia based digital solutions.

#smartclass #smartclassroom #digitalclass #digitalclassroom #learningapp #smartclasshyderabad #digitalcontent #smartlearning #smarteducation

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emcscared-whumps · 2 years

Note

42 for Pete? 👀

42: Backhand him with a full set of rings (From this post!)

me: i have no actual idea how he's managed this brain: remember how nastily he was bullied in school? me: oohhhhhhhhhhhhhh :)

which means: you get a taste of Pre-Trauma!Pete !!! (who is so much grumpier than I anticipated)

Anyways! I apologise about how long it took. I'm really trying to improve the quality of my snippet prompts, and I think this one turned out well ^-^

(my post on Timmy in the aquarium finding Pete haunts me to this day, even tho it's rewritten decently in my canon doc lmao)

CONTENT and WARNINGS: School bullying (ik it's school but this is optional Extra Year to build life skills which he, and his bullies, are taking, so he is 18+ here), blood, facial wounds— very very light gore

wc: ~0.81

“Wrong, wrong, wrong… Mr. Spencer, were you even listening when I explained to you yesterday how to calculate these?”

Pete groaned inwardly. What the teacher was saying this afternoon totally contradicted what he’d said yesterday. “Yes, sir, I m-must’ve—must-t’ve been… b-been tired, sir,” he said, strangling the venom that threatened to tinge his tone.

This last class, tax and financials, was the only one Pete didn’t share with Timmy or Liz. He would’ve been glad of their company because it was as if this teacher sensed his vulnerability and sought to prey on it.

Before the teacher had a chance to fumble his subject again,and further confuse Pete’s clouded mind, the bell rang, marking the end of the school day and bidding the dozen students leave. The young man started at the release, and hurriedly bundled his books into his arms and scurried out from under the teacher’s baleful gaze.

Relief flooded his body when he made it into the crisp, autumn air. Snow had come early...

Too fast, he scolded himself. Be more careful.

The lecture room was situated on the far side of a small courtyard with many connecting walkways, and a small stretch of grass. It was difficult to cross without encountering those you least wanted to see.

Pete however, was more focused on one of the textbooks that lay open in his arms than watching for the approach of others.

He read and reread the needlessly complex laws surrounding the way one would be taxed for deposits into their retirement fund, the complicated, variable interest rates one could receive…

He massaged his brow; a light headache seeded itself behind his eyes. Hunger gnawed at his gut and made thoughts of relenting and getting something from the canteen more difficult to ignore.

Trudging through the snow that’d fallen during class made it harder again to focus as no one step was the same.

The quicker he walked, the sooner he would meet with Timmy and Liz, and get off school grounds to get a meal from a restaurant on the way home.

With a sigh, he shut the textbook, making sure to leave the bookmark in his place—income tax laws could wait until later that evening—and stepped straight into another student.

Pete’s gaze darted up from their shoes to their face. The apology died on his tongue when he found himself staring up into Burton’s dark brown leer.

Burton smirked down at Pete, contempt lining the creases in his face, and his lady friend, Colette, stepped out from behind him. She looked down her nose at Pete, who returned both looks evenly with an icy glower. “Don’t you, s-still have—st-still have paths to be, to be c-clearing of the snow, Burton? All winter, as I rec-call, and it-it just star—”

Burton cut Pete off. “You’re ballsy today, drip, where are your friends, huh? They can’t be far away if you’re daring to tell me how to do the penance you should’ve taken.”

He took a step forward, closing the already tight gap and towered over Pete, forcing him to edge backward.

“Can’t you w-wait for an ev-ven fight? Or are you—are you t-too imp-patient for that?” Pete quipped, his sour glare cracking. “I’m pretty sure that-t’s wh-what got you on s-s-snow removal in the first place.”

He hoped the waver in his tone wasn’t obvious. If he showed that he was afraid, they’d give him a reason to be.

Burton’s lips curled into a poorly veiled snarl. Canting his head toward Pete, he nudged Colette, who glanced up from her ring-filled fingers. ”Teach him.”

Quicker than Pete cold move, Colette’s bejewelled hand flashed forward in a blur of sparkles and gold. The force of her swift backhand snapped Pete’s head to the side. Fake diamonds raked across his cheek, and sent him reeling away with an undignified cry.

His hand flew up to his cheek as he caught himself, fingers hovering over torn, bleeding flesh that steamed in the frigid air.

Colette and Burton’s light, mocking laughter echoed in the quiet of the courtyard. Pete’s eyes went wide with shock and anger. His breaths came in swift mists, and a growl built in his throat from a short, high whine that couldn’t be quelled.

“Eugh,” Colette muttered, inspecting her bloodied rings as one would their chipped nails. Her nose crinkled with disgust before she flicked her hand, scattering bright red droplets across the trampled snow at their feet.

“You m-missed a spot,” Pete spat. The movement tugged at torn flesh, and for a second, he almost regretted speaking.

“Shut the fuck up!” Burton said, kicking at Pete. His boot connected hard with his stomach, sending him crashing into the bloodied snow.

The crunching footsteps and laughter of his assailants receded, leaving Pete to roll onto his side, breathlessly gasping and retching, trying to keep the snow from melting in his hair.

~*~

Tags: @dang-i-like-whump @whump-cravings If u wanna be added to or removed from my taglist, please feel free to let me know ^-^ Categories: Shifting Phases, General Prompts

#emc answers asks #ask #answered ask #whump ask #whump ask game #whump #whump prompt #whump snippet #whump writing #oc whump #emc's writing #Pete Spencer #Guy Burton #writing #blood #rings #school bullying cw #bullying cw

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kkumahearts · 3 months

Text

january 20, 2024

i feel like i’m hurting him. but i wonder how damaging it feels, does he feel it?

we’ve come back from vietnam, and i am so happy to have been there with him. so many things happened, so many feelings, so much love and hurt too. i realized we’re really all just a bundle of contradictions, people are contradictory and that’s not wrong. it isn’t wrong to be a hypocrite or confused or non-sequential. i think that’s just how being a person is like.

he got sad before midnight on new year’s eve, and i could tell while we were sitting in the taxi. i didn’t know what was wrong, and we came back to the hotel and he looked like he was thinking about something so important. his face was so sad, and he was so deep in his head.

“what are you thinking about?”

he couldn’t find the words, but i asked and asked and they came out slow and messily. he felt like this was too good, and how could he keep this? how could it be this good again? maybe the next new years won’t be with me. that’s what he was thinking about.

and i really tried my best to reassure him, and i felt a little worried that he was thinking like this — that maybe he could be right. and i realized this is how i think a lot but i hate saying completely so assuredly something. as if i know! i don’t know a thing about the future, all i can say is how much i want it. i don’t know how to give definites. so i told him ,,, even if something were to happen we don’t have to worry about that now — if something were to happen he’s so strong and he would be okay and safe and everything would be alright. it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

but this of course, was not the right thing to say. he told me, that’s not what i wanted to hear. and maybe for you, maybe it won’t be the end of the world — for you. he wanted to be sure of my commitment to him.

i was so taken aback! i thought back and i was murmuring no no no to him that isn’t what i meant, and i rubbed his face and his hair and he turned away from me. i countered, so baffled by the sheer ridiculousness of it. how could he not know??? you’ve ruined me, how can i even think of anyone else. there’s no one else for me to even think of! i want a house, a family, i want everything with you, i want it all. and by then i’d started crying and blubbering, and smiling because i was imagining all these things. i think this made him feel better, like i reached him. “maybe i should propose.”

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innervoiceartblog · 7 months

Text

Wednesday October 4 2023

Tigers Pretending to be Sheep …..

The planetary kaleidoscope is turning quickly, initiating a series of new mandalas, patterns and personal constructs in your life. Spinning in the widening vortex of next week’s Ring of Fire solar eclipse at 22 Libra, just feel the power of Pluto stationing direct in take- no- prisoners mode.

Instead of helplessly asking: “What’s going to happen to me?”, ask:” How can I be at cause and not at effect?”

Find refuge in the absolute consistency of change. Life is impermanence and therefore change is not an aberration. Life is just life-ing, so don’t take it personally.

Andrew Harvey says it perfectly:

“Most of us are tigers pretending to be sheep – wild, totally free creatures pretending to be slaves of culture. But all of us can learn that roar of fearlessness. Tibetans call this the roar of the lion, which comes from understanding emptiness, knowing the void, seeing the interrelation of all things and realising the inherent non-existence of things. When you know emptiness, nothing can make you afraid.

… It’s helpful to make the distinction pointed to by all the mystical philosophies between what we might call ‘personhood’ and the ego. Because we identify with the ego, the false self, we think that the false self is us. We’re condemned to think that this selfish, haunted, hysterical being is all we are. What a condemnation, what a sadness, to confuse our true potential with this doomed being!

… As you wake up and the other, deeper mind emerges, you start to realise that the identification with this coagulation of habits which is the false self is, in fact, not true. There is a larger, more confident, more loving person there who uses your body and mind, who sees through your eyes, but who is as far from the false self as the false self is from a snail. When that person is discovered inside by the spiritual searcher, the identification with the ego is ended, with great relief. You step out of the prison into the sunlight.

… It is very important to realise that there is a person inside who is not dying, who is not anxious, who doesn’t need anything, who is calm, tender, confident and far more deeply himself or herself than this bundle of contradictions and repetitions we confuse with our truth. … What we are here to do is to meet and become the person we are.”

www.hareinthemoonastrology.co.uk

#Wednesday October 4 2023 #Astrology #astrology observations #hareinthemoonastrology.co.uk

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secretwhumplair · 2 years

Text

The gardens, p.2

1,117 words | Royal arms (sequel to The gardens, p.1)

Content | Dehumanization, conditioning, fear, guilt, hugsss

Notes | Some things about Idalis and also poor Ainsel continuing to be very confused and frightened.

Taglist | @whumpy-writings @cupcakes-and-pain @whumpzone @newbornwhumperfly @whump-cravings @whumpityy @nicolepascaline @whots-a-tag-precious @thegreatwhodini @shameless-whumper @neverthelass @wolfeyedwitch @onlybadendings @melancholy-in-the-morning @quietshae

It was sudden - one moment, Ainsel stood there looking at the king, the next they were collapsed on the sun-warm grass. To be fair though, it was hardly a surprise, Cassio reckoned. They were still weak from their captivity, they had just come back from a panic attack, and then Idalis went and turned their whole world upside down.

Idalis immediately knelt down and cradled the miserable thing in his arms.

Cassio threw a glance at the two guards who had been following them in some distance. One was staring, but quickly turned away when he caught Cassio’s glare. Cassio memorized the guy’s face for later, just in case.

Idalis, a man who had gleefully killed dozens on the battlefield, now looked close to tears himself, and Cassio bit back a »Told you so.« He loved the little bundle of contradictions too much for that.

Instead, he settled for, »Wow, you broke them.«

Idalis shot him a glare, and Cassio quickly crouched down opposite him. »Look, you can’t just expect them to relearn being human at the drop of a hat. You heard them, they don’t even think they’re allowed to like things.«

»But they are human,« Idalis hissed, his eyes still suspiciously sparkly.

»I know.«

»I’m not expecting that from them, either. I’m not stupid. But we have to start somewhere.« He almost pouted, like he used to do when he was a boy. It struck Cassio how recently that had been.

You were hoping for that, though. He didn’t say that, either, but when he caught Idalis’ eye, he knew he’d read his mind. Idalis looked away and nodded reluctantly.

Before they could delve deeper, Ainsel shuddered in the king’s arms, and no sooner had they blinked their eyes open than they curled their hands into fists, pressing them against their belly. Their whole body tensed, but they didn’t move an inch from their king.

They looked terrified. Again, no surprises.

»Ainsel. Hey, Ainsel. It’s alright.« Idalis gently sat them on the grass, keeping a supportive arm around them.

»I’m sorry, sir,« they choked out, eyes so wide Cassio wondered when they’d fall out of their sockets. It was hard to see the pitiful creature trembling in every limb as a threat, but it was also hard to not see them as such when they themself clearly considered themself one, with their hands purposely tucked away to signal their submission.

»It’s alright,« Idalis repeated with a patience he rarely displayed, and carefully released them from his hold. They didn’t collapse again, they just moved to their knees, folded their hands in the way they usually did, and stared at the ground.

Idalis glanced up at Cassio, who had just stood and watched, and now gave a little shrug. He didn’t know whether it’d be wiser to give the poor thing a moment to collect itself, or whether it was busy digging itself into another panic and needed to be interrupted.

The king frowned, then put a smile back on as he sat down more comfortably, and leaned in to Ainsel. »This is all a little much for you, isn’t it?« He gently placed a hand on their shoulder. As always, they tensed under his touch, but then slowly relaxed.

Cassio didn’t believe his eyes. This almost looked like progress. Idalis had noticed it too - his smile took on an air of soft triumph.

»Yes, sir,« they muttered. »I’m only-« They interrupted themself and glimpsed up, frightened.

Idalis gently rubbed over their shoulder. »It’s alright. Don’t worry, I know it takes time to learn. Why don’t you sit with us, Cassio?« he continued, grinning up at him. »It’s a pretty spot.«

Cassio flopped down on the grass, a small smile breaking on his lips almost despite himself. Idalis was delighted at his little success, and Cassio was not going to take that away from him.

It was a pretty spot, too, like the whole garden was pretty, and still tasting of Idalis’ victory over the previous king. Maybe that was what this was about - breaking his weapon’s training as a final, petty act of triumph. Maybe Idalis himself didn’t quite know. He had yet to give Cassio a satisfactory explanation. But of course, the king didn’t really have to explain himself, so as often as not, he didn’t even bother looking for one himself.

Cassio had taken a moment to enjoy the scenery and check whether anyone else might be watching, and when he looked back at Idalis, he had an arm draped softly around Ainsel’s shoulders, that triumphant smile still on his lips. If Cassio’s eyes weren’t playing tricks, they were leaning into him, just a fraction.

Maybe they could learn to enjoy their new life after all.

Cassio just still wasn’t sure that was the safest way to go.

The weapon knew it shouldn’t want, but with every breath, every heartbeat, it hoped the king wouldn’t let go. It was terrifying, and everything was so confusing, and it took every effort to hold itself in place, but the arm around its shoulders trickled a warmth down its body it had long forgotten. It didn’t want to cry, it shouldn’t cry, it should be grateful, and it was, but tears were pushing up so hard it hurt to hold them back.

And just as it had feared, when it failed and the tears started to spill, the king moved away.

»Hey, it’s alright-«

»Please,« it interrupted, interrupted its king before it knew what it was doing, and immediately choked on the panic that followed its utter lack of respect. What did it think it was?

Well, it thought it was a weapon, but the king had said-

But-

»Hey.« Somehow, miraculously, the gentle arm reappeared over its shoulders, squeezing it slightly, enough to derail its train of thought. It shouldn’t think.

»Is this what you want?« the king continued, softly.

It was a trap. It didn’t know how to respond, it didn’t know what the king wanted. »I want nothing,« it whimpered. It was the only answer it knew to be right, but it didn’t know whether it still was-

It was a lie.

It shouldn’t have been a lie, it shouldn’t want, but it did.

»I’m s-sorry, sir.« It barely breathed the words. Tears still streamed down its face, now wholly uncontrolled.

»It’s alright. Shhh. You’re doing okay. You’re-« The king interrupted himself. It was now close enough to feel him shake his head. »It’s alright.«

Somehow, it was not going to be punished for all the sins it committed today. The king might be lying, of course, but the weapon didn’t believe that any more.

It couldn’t stop crying with confusion and gratitude.

#whump #recovery #whump writing #dehumanization #my writing #cassio #ainsel #idalis #royal arms

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danniburgh · 3 years

Text

Morning Delight (Javier Peña x f!reader)

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: You have a boyfriend and he’s really great, but Javier Peña is selfish and he’s jealous and he wants you all for him.

Word count: +2.1k

Warnings: well; smut, (p in v), fingering, spitting (just a bit), unprotected sex, (please wear condoms) 1 degrading word (sl*t), infidelity (not condoning it), me trying to make terrible metaphors,

A/N: i got an ask and while writing what was supposed to be a small drabble it grew and well now we are here, writing a os when i have 4 waiting in line to be written :) (bold phrases are the asked prompts)

Masterlist // Read on ao3 // ko-fi

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓

“Hello, gorgeous,” Brandon, your boyfriend, allowed himself into the office you shared with your partners, the three of you lifted your heads to see him and you gave him a smile, he was standing in front of your desk holding a paper bag and a carton cup “brought you breakfast,”

“You shouldn’t have, baby,” you received the food from him and he leaned down to give you a short kiss, “thank you,” you muttered and he wrinkled his nose.

“See you for lunch?” he asked you softly and you nodded. He then walked out giving you a last glance and winking through the open door.

You could feel the stares of your partners, one of them heavier than the other, you looked at Steve and he had a teasing smirk adorning his face. You rolled your eyes and tossed him the paper bag, he quickly caught it and without hesitating opened it and rummaged around it, then you looked at Javier, sitting across the room from you and noticed the deep frown that made his face quirk and his brown eyes harden, locking his gaze on yours. He said nothing to you nor to Steve when he passed the bag to him.

Steve cleared his throat absentmindedly from his desk and kept on taping while eating and you broke eye contact (or stare contest) with Javier, returning to do what you were doing.

Soon enough you finished all your reports and you stood up to return some of them to the records room, when you entered and were about to close the door a foot got in between it and the frame to stop it from closing, the sudden action startled you and before your brain could fully comprehend what was going on the door opened, Javier got inside the room and closed the door, locking it.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked under his breath, you frowned,

“What?”

“Don’t play fool, baby,” he stepped closer to you, and when you were about to tell him, yet again, to not call you that, he spoke again “what do you think you’re doing kissing that boy like that in the office?” you snorted.

“What?” you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing “who do you think you are?” the rhetoric made Javier’s jaw clench and he gave another step closer to you, towering over your body, you looked at his hardened face and at his dilated pupils, you sighed at the way his body warmth was just starting to mingle with yours “wait, are you jealous?” you questioned with a smirk “really?”

His chest puffed as he filled it with air and deflated when he let it out, almost blowing on your face, he was so close you could feel the way his body was reacting to you and the way you were looking at him. Then Javier licked his lips and you knew exactly what that meant.

“Don’t,” you whispered, it was his turn to smirk to you “don’t you dare,”

“C’mon, chiquita,” Javier let his hand stationed on your hip as he made you get impossibly closer to him, pressing you against his body “’s not like it would be our first time,”

“My boyfriend would kill us,” you warned, actually worried, you liked Brandon, you really did, he was different than Javier and for you that was an excellent thing; Brandon wasn’t afraid of tell you what he wanted or how he felt, he was a fantastic listener, he was funny and charismatic in the sense that you would ask him for directions on the street if you were lost, he was cute and sweet and someone you could see yourself dating for a long time. But Javier... Javier had you wrapped around his finger since the first time he had laid eyes on you, since he had touched you, since his hands made your skin feel like burning from the inside out, since his kisses lingered on your body for days.

“That boy won’t do shit, even if he finds out,” his tone dropped an octave and his other hand landed on the small of your back just above the hem of your blazer and the waistband of your skirt and you instantly became putty under his touch.

“Fuck,” your voice was so low it could had been confused for a soft sigh, and as your body warmed up against Javier’s hands, his mouth trapped yours and started devouring it.

Javier’s kiss in the past had been hardly soft, some of them were cautious, some were firm, you weren’t expecting anything gentle, but the way he was kissing you was unprecedented for you, he was moving against your lips as if he wanted to absorb your every thought, as if he wanted to be your main source of oxygen, as if he wanted to breathe you in and never breathe you out. Javier’s hands slipped down your blazer and your blouse and he started massaging your breasts over the soft cloth of your bra.

“Why is that boy so special? huh?” he muttered against the skin of your jaw as he nibbled it and down your neck, your hands could barely respond to your brain, curling around his neck, playing with the hair of his nape as you knew he liked, forgetting everything about Brandon and about the place you were at the moment, the only thing that invaded your mind was Javier and his smell of coffee, cigarette smoke, the aftershave he put on in the morning and how much you fucking missed his rough touch. “what does he do to you that you let him kiss you in front of everyone?” his voice was rough and low and it sounded like a feral grumble and it made you moan, one of his hands slid from your chest to your thigh over your skirt and then slowly moved upwards, lifting it. Jesus Christ, he was doing it so slow you were sure your skin would scream against his touch if it could.

“He–he,” you tried to say, he cut your sentence before it could really start when he kissed you again, this time rougher, formless, just two mouths moving against each other as his hand under your skirt played with the hem of your panties and slowly, painfully slow, moved inside of it to your mound. Your skin was on fire, you were sure you were about to combust right then and there. “Javi–” his finger played with your clit and you felt your knees weaken, he tightened the grip on your back and he started circling the bundle of nerves leisurely “more” you begged and you could feel his smirk on your skin.

“What was that?” he teased, adding another finger to his ministrations, pressing against your clit almost achingly, he knew you, he knew you so damn well.

“More, Javi, more,” you said and brought yourself back to his mouth, licking his lips, his circling went faster and you smiled contently against his kiss.

“Has he ever touched you like this, chiquita?” he asked under his breath and you shook your head as he dragged his fingers through your slit and into your cunt “has he ever made you this wet?”

“Oh, oh sh–shit, Javi,” you moaned and he bit your lower lip and moved back to your neck, his fingers curled inside you and he already knew where exactly to press to make you come undone on his hand, the heel of his palm pressed your clit and his fingers stretched you so deliciously it was really a wonder why you two had stopped fucking. “god, Brandon could never,” you mumbled as you bit his shoulder over his jacket, he bit your neck when you mentioned your boyfriend’s name and that was the last drop, your orgasm hit your belly and made your legs shake, you bit his jacket harder to muffle your moan as he helped you ride down your climax.

“C’mere,” he removed his hand from your panties and you whined softly at the loss of his touch, Javier pulled you from the center of the room to stand in front one foggy, yellowy window that barely allowed any light into the room “turn around,” he said, it wasn’t an order, he wasn’t like that, but in the heat of the moment he said things with such authority you barely contradicted him, you did and then realized what he wanted to do.

“Against the window? are you insane?” you frowned, and he gave you a hooded-eyed smile.

“You know me, baby, pull your panties off,” you saw him unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants and with a teasing roll of your eyes you did. There had been a long time since you fucked in that room at all, Brandon found it too risky, but not your Javier Peña, for him this was delightful. You slid your skirt up and let it crumple around your waist “that’s my good girl, so fucking ready for me to fuck her,” Javier didn’t waste anytime and rolled down your panties, he gently kicked your feet to separate your legs and you leaned down as far as your surroundings allowed you. You felt his hands grip your hips, and you got ready for him to slide in when instead you felt his tongue flattening against your soaked folds.

“Shit,” you whimpered and dropped your head back, curving your back and pressing your pussy against his face, god he shouldn’t really be doing that, you were gone far too long already. The sudden moment of clarity soon went to shit when he spit on your pussy and stood up and with practiced dexterity he slid his cock inside you. You let out a small whimper as he stayed still for a few seconds and rounded his arm around your waist for leverage.

“I want you to scream my name, baby,” he whispered in your ear and you shivered under him, he started pounding into you and making your mouth produce the most dirty sounds you thought it could ever produce, “c’mon, preciosa, fucking scream,” you shook your head as he slid his hand under your blouse and bra and played as he could with your nipple, your moans and gasps grew louder and you tried, really tried to muffle your noises, you tried to bring your hand to your mouth but Javier nimbly moved the arm that embraced you and trapped both your hands with it, angling his hips to hit inside you harder and rougher, you moaned again, “louder, I want Brandon to hear you,” your breath hitched as you remembered your boyfriend and Javier chuckled behind you, thrusting into your cunt faster as he could “I want him to hear how his dear girl likes to be fucked,”

“Javi–Javier, I’m so close,” you clenched around him and he let out a small groan “more, more, I’m almost there,” you demanded, pressing your hips against his as he hit the small spot inside you that made your eyes roll inside your head.

“So fucking greedy, baby,” he said through gritted teeth, you felt his warm tongue licking the shell of your ear and you moaned again “what would people say if they knew you were such a slut for me?” Javier whispered in your ear and then bit your lobe, taking you to the edge and then dropping you off the cliff, you drowned the scream that was rising in your chest and instead let out a growl that made you sound like a feral creature which at the moment you pretty much were. Javier felt your walls clench around him, making it almost impossible to keep thrusting into you and it drove him off the cliff as well, cuming inside you and filling you with a familiar warm thickness.

The room was silent for a few seconds, as you were trying to recover from the orgasms you just had pulled out of each other. Then it filled with your panting and the ruffling of your clothes being straightened and put back where they were before that… slip.

“Shit,” you mumbled as Javier helped you button your blazer “we really shouldn’t have done this,” your eyes dropped to the floor, Javier said nothing for a few seconds, he stared at you, as if studying you, as if he was trying to bring himself to say something.

“Break up with him,” he spat, you frowned and looked at him in pure disbelief, who did he think he was? “I want you for me,” your frown only deepened, he for the first time since he had been your partner left you speechless “fuck, I get so jealous when I see you with that… with him,” he mumbled and you saw him actually doubt himself, “I think… I think I’m in love with you”

“Oh, fuck me,” you let out, amazed and happy that he had told you the words you were waiting to hear from him since god-knows-when. And sad and angry that you had to break Brandon’s heart like that.

“I think I just did,”

#javier peña #Javier Pena #javier peña x reader #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña fanfic #javier peña smut #narcos #narcos fanfic #narcos netflix #Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #Jose Pedro Balmaceda Pascal #pedro pascal characters #prompt lists!#400 followers 🥳

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foodieforthoughts · 3 years

Text

When the ball drops

Summary: It's your third year in the Big Apple and you still haven't found your midnight kiss for when the ball drops, until tonight.

Pairing: Henry x Reader

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: Fluff!!!

A/N: Happy New Year to everyone! ✨ Watching the ball drop on New Year's Eve in Times Square is my ultimate bucket list! Also not beta read, so don't mind the errors, just had to get done in time before @infinite-shite celebrates New Year's before the rest of us! This baby deserves all the love in the world ❤️

*divider by @firefly-graphics

Title: When the ball drops

The cackle of people's laughter ringed through the pub as the hours ticked by. In contrast to the cold winter air of New York, the inside of the enclosed space felt warm. You quickly pulled on your apron and slid behind the bar, relieving your co-worker from their shift. He hugged you for the New Year that was to ring in about an hour later, happily weaving through the crowd towards the staff exit.

You sighed, grabbing the dish cloth to clean some glasses.

The excitement of coming to the Big Apple had quickly died down for you. You had dreamed of living in the city like the various shows potrayed, feeding lies that everything is magical and full of opportunities in this concrete jungle. But you could disagree with all the contradictions between facts and fictions and align them in a PowerPoint presentation. Not only were you yet to secure your dream job, you lived in a mediocre place with little to look forward to everyday.

Another sigh left your lips, your shoulders slumping despite the merriment around.

"That would be the second time you sigh." The crisp accented voice of a stranger sounded from across you. "What's the matter, love?"

You knew who he was. You ogled at his pictures on a regular basis, especially when he became Superman. But he looked nothing like the Henry Cavill you saw on the red carpets. Clad in a plain blue shirt, jaw sprinkled with the hint of a stubble and hair combed to perfection, Henry titled his head at you with a smile. You looked around at the other patrons, unsure if he was talking to you indeed.

Henry chuckled at your look of confusion. He took a seat at the barstool and grabbed the menu from the stand. With a dish cloth still inside the glass tumbler, you stared at the Hollywood heartthrob. The pub you worked at was frequented with celebs on a regular basis, the only downside being you usually worked for the day shift which meant by the time you rolled out of work, the big shots were only just waking up.

"Can I get-"

"Guinness?" You interrupted him. You meant to say it in your head but the word left your mouth before you could control your lips.

But Henry didn't flinch. He just smiled widely, the dimples in his chin dipping charmingly and his eyes shining like the brightest star under the flickering strobe lights. He slid the menu back towards you and clasped his hands together.

You blinked your eyes several times to rid yourself of the flutter in you belly as Henry smiled at you softly. He watched as you got him a glass and filled it up with his beer. Your hands trembled so much with the nervousness of serving an A list actor, who not only was doing well in industry but was exceptionally sexier in person, that you were worried the foam gathered at the top would dribbled down the sides. Noticing your struggle, Henry extended his hands and placed them over yours to secure his glass.

Electricity. In the most clichéd scenarios of romance movies, you felt a jolt of electricity when your hands touched his, the sparks travelling down your spine to your toes. Sucking in a sharp breath you handed him the glass, chiding yourself over your hyper aware mind.

"What is a pretty lady like you working in a bar at this hour?" He asked, sipping his fermented pint of alcohol.

"Coworker has plans with his girlfriend, like everyone tonight." You shrugged your shoulder, going over to another customer ordering drinks. You could feel Henry's eyes on you as you readied the customer's order. The sound of giggling girls pulled your attention just as the man left with his drink.

You walked back to where Henry sat, nursing his beer. "Anything to go with that?" you enquired, rearranging the shot glasses under the bar counter.

"I am still wondering how, in the world, a pretty woman like you, is stuck here."

You scoffed, more to yourself than him. "Because this supposed pretty woman is single as fuck." The mirth in your voice hid the sense of self pity edging at the corners of your mind. It had been three years since you had first arrived in the city with a possibility of reaching for the stars in both personal and professional life. You had been left disappointed with the jerks and assholes you ended up with, ultimately sitting at home and questioning your choices in men.

You noted the softness creasing at the corners of Henry's eyes. The last thing you wanted was to be seen as a miserable bartender at the end of the year, so you cleared your throat and smiled at him. "What is superman doing at a bar, in New York, alone?"

Henry chuckled. His gravelly thick laughter ringing louder than the music in your ears. "I was just stopping by the city, thought I'll stay to understand what the big deal is with the ball drop."

"Oh my God. Watching the ball drop and kissing at midnight is the most romantic thing you can do with your partner. You should be at Times Square!" Your excitement over the whole New Year's Eve shenanigan was flowing through in your speech.

"Too crowded." He shook his head, groaning and sipping his beer.

You rolled your eyes. "As opposed to this cramped pub?"

Henry chuckled again, throwing a wink at you. You felt the familiar flutter in your belly. You peered at him under your lashes, Henry seemed to be having his eyes only for you tonight. The giggling ladies were desperately trying to grab his attention while sipping on their Margheritas wearing their embellished dresses with low cuts and frills. You glanced down at yourself and frowned. Over the faded blue jeans and white t-shirt, you wore the black apron with the pub's insignia on the left breast. You suddenly became profoundly aware of how 'basic' you might look in comparison to the other ladies.

Self doubt clouded your mind. You politely smiled at Henry and hurried to the other side of the bar to serve the other customers. Maybe Henry only wanted someone to play the horizontal hokey-pokey with him for the night, or maybe he was bored and since you were obligated to talk nicely with him, he had pitched a conversation. Whatever the reason, you did not like how the multiple scenarios would end. You knew your feeble, fragile heart. You would get hurt, one way or another.

"Hi," Henry appeared again in front of you. He had his beer in his hand, his other elbow resting on the counter. "Did I offend you in some way?"

"No. But you are pretty much making me realize, how miserable my life is." Your voice sounded bleak against the booming voices. Tucking your hair behind your ear, you watched the couples snuggle up to each other. It had been ages since you had felt the loving embrace of a man, even longer since you had shared a meaningful kiss with someone special.

"What would you have been doing instead?" Henry's voice pulled you out of your desolated reverie.

"I would be in Times Square, with my significant other, which I don't have. We would get some drinks while standing on the outskirts of the crowd and watch the countdown."

There was a stir of activity in the pub as someone announced that there were only 90 seconds to the ball drop. You hadn't even realized that time had passed so quickly whilst you had juggled your conversation with Henry.

"Well, you have the drinks," Henry reached forward to grab a glass and poured half of his beer in the empty tumbler. "We are at the outskirts of the crowd since everyone is huddled near the TV." You nodded as you watched the couples gather near the enormous flat screen mounted on the wall. "We aren't at the Times Square, but we are in New York."

The countdown read 60 seconds with the red numbers counting backwards. Henry stood up and leaned forward on the counter. You watched with bated breath as he grabbed the strap of your apron and pulled you towards him.

His hand rested lightly on your cheek, his thumb grazing your cheekbone. The smell of beer, his perfume and musk enveloped you, bundling you in everything that signified him. You gazed into his cerulean eyes, the fleck of brown going dark against the blue ocean. Your hands hung by your side, flabbergasted by the surprising turn of events.

"I might not be your significant other," His breath washed over your heated face, his eyes transfixed on yours. "But we can perhaps change that."

"Happy New Year!"

Like the fireworks going off on the One Times Square Building, when your lips collided with his, there was a burst of colorful sparks celebrating the union of two people from across the pond. Henry pulled your face closer to his by grabbing behind your head, his fingers threading through your hair. You finally could think straight as you moaned into the kiss, holding onto the collar of his shirt as the pub erupted with loud cheers. In that moment, everything seemed perfect in the world. You felt your legs turn to jelly as Henry pulled back, breathing through his mouth, tugging at your lower lip with his teeth.

The smug smile on his face returned as he sat back on his barstool. You grabbed onto the counter for support as you gulped lungful of air.

"Did that count as something for when the ball drops?" He asked, sipping his beer and watching you from the brim of his glass.

You nodded. The heat on your cheeks traveled down to your chest, a grin spreading on your lips. Biting your lip you reached for the other glass of beer Henry had poured. "Happy new year to me." You announced before clinking your glass with Henry's.

✨HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS✨

#henry cavill #Henry Cavill fanfic #Henry Cavill rpf #Henry Cavill x Reader #Henry Cavill x you #henry cavill fluff #Henry Cavill imagine #Foodie's new year fanfic #NYE 2020 #foodieforthoughts

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