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random-imagines-blog · 3 years

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Just in Your Heart {Taylor Swift x ChubbyMale!Reader}

Requested by: @lunchawx Wordcount: 2114 Summary: After five years of dating, you’re finally thinking of making it social-media official. Warnings: Fat shaming.

You weren’t the sort of person that most people would picture Miss Americana herself to date. Taylor Swift had gone out with some of the best looking, or at least according to the media’s standards best looking - men in the world. You didn’t need to go over them. The tabloids did that enough for you on a daily basis. But the point was that you were the opposite of a lot of these men. You weren’t in the entertainment industry. You weren’t rich. You weren’t famous. You didn’t have a six pack or a chiseled chest or that rugged jaw line or any of those things. You had worked your way up to being a curator at a Museum in New York - not one of the biggest ones, mind you, but big enough to where you always had a lot on your plate. You were overweight according to your doctor though you ate healthy and tried to get lots of exercise. And you had next to no social media presence, only followed by your friends and family - not even Taylor as for the most part, you both agreed on keeping you out of the spotlight, much as that sometimes hurt. But then again - you both had been together for five years now, and you weren’t being picked apart by the media. That was nice.

“Do you think that this is folded in enough? I always think of that scene in Sleeping Beauty where they actually fold them in,” Taylor laughed, snapping you out of your thoughts. When you had stopped at the grocery store to get the ingredients for baking night, you of course had seen Taylor on the magazines. Stepping out with new ‘mystery man’ it had reported. It was only her new bodyguard and would be forgotten in a week or so but it was still a bit annoying to be surrounded by rumors of your own girlfriend.

“Yeah, that looks good babe,” You’d say, looking into her bowl. It was cake night in your shared apartment. The whole quarantine thing had the both of you at home a lot more, though you did still have to go to work, so you were trying new hobbies. Baking had been Taylor’s idea, and it was something you had shot down at first considering your weight, but she was so insistant. She had given you those puppy dog eyes you couldn’t resist. Those baby blues had you saying yes every time. “No shells this time?”

“Oh my god, it was one time, let it go,” Taylor laughed, going for the next couple of ingredients. “I don’t think that you put enough chocolate in yours.”

“It’s a light chocolate cake, not a Devil’s Food Cake. I’m still watching my weight, remember?” You kept on whipping the eggs until they were light and fluffy, and then finally folded your own into the rest of the mixture. “This will probably be my lunch tomorrow,” You joked.

“I’ll make you something, don’t worry,” She said, putting a kiss on your cheek, transferring a bit of flour that she had on her nose onto your skin. You laughed and wiped it off. “What were you thinking about?”

“Saw you on the cover of another magazine today,” You said, slipping behind her, taking the chance to run your hands across her waist as you went to grab one of the cake pans you already prepped. “They’re thinking that Greg is your new boyfriend. It’s really throwing them off that you’re not out there dating openly anymore.”

“Oh, that’s hilarious. I’m sure his wife is going to love that,” Taylor laughed, not taking it seriously. Being in the industry since she was a teenager meant that she had to develop that tough skin. You loved that about her. You only wished that you had been able to do that yourself. “Oh, let’s take a picture before we pop these into the oven.”

Always the change of subject. But you gave in, as you always did, giving her a little nod. She pulled out her phone, turned the front camera on, and snapped a picture of her kissing your cheek while the full cake pans were waiting on the counter. You were grinning, you couldn’t help it. Every time that this wonderful, beautiful woman gave you attention, you were fawning for it. You couldn’t wait to make her your wife. Just a little longer. Just getting the ring sized.

And then the pans went into the oven, and you settled back down on the couch, looking for something to watch while waiting for the timers. Taylor went straight to Law and Order. Of course. You even bobbed your head to the theme tune. Her favorite show in the whole world. She cuddled up to you, hand and head resting on your barrel-like chest. When she touched you like this, it was hard to feel insecure. And the way that she looked up at you whenever the screen went dark between scenes - still made you feel like blushing to this day.

Once the timer went off, cake out of the oven, it was the only part of this whole baking thing that you really enjoyed. Decorating. Tongue in cheek, going over the layers with the icing that you had managed to make look tie-dye with different colors. “What do you think, fruit maybe? Some whipped cream?” You looked over to see what she was doing, only to see that she was literally throwing sprinkles on top of the icing. Making a huge mess, but it was cute to see her looking so joyous.

“Whatever you want,” She’d say, bending low, turning the plate to see the other side of the cake, and then threw even more sprinkles. One thing could be said for her method - she was thorough. There was hardly an inch on it that was untouched. You looked back at your own which was looking plain in comparison, and started chopping up some fruit to put on the top. At least give some semblance of it being healthy. That way you wouldn’t feel as guilty when you went to the doctor next and explained what you’ve been eating. “I can’t wait to try yours,” Taylor said, sticking a finger in your spare icing and dabbed some of it on the tip of your nose with a giggle. Her eyes were lit up from the inside out. She looked happy. Truly happy. “Can we take another photo?”

“Can I at least get this off of my nose first?” You laughed. She shook her head no, and this time in the photo, she was licking it right off of you, the cakes on full display in front of you. Your face was scrunched up from the attention on your nose, which made her laugh when she saw it.

“This is really cute. I might even post it,” She teased, tongue in cheek.

“Doubtful,” You chuckled, and grabbed a knife to make the first cuts.

“No, really,” She said, leaning against the counter, looking at the picture on her phone. “We’ve been together five years now and I haven’t really been able to tell anyone but our close friends and family.”

“Does anyone else matter?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed. “Everyone that I care about knows about you. Why does the whole world?”

“I just - I don’t want you to feel like I’m ashamed of you when I’m not. I’d love to start posting pictures of us, like normal couples do.”

“We’re not a normal couple,” You pointed out. She was pouting again, but this time it didn’t look like she was trying to get what she wanted. She looked genuinely upset. You watched her for a minute as she dropped a couple more sprinkles on spots that she missed, trying to keep her hands busy. “Okay. Fine. You can post one tomorrow if you really want. But can we just relax tonight?”

“Okay,” She said, tucking a long blonde piece of hair behind her ear and smiled. She looked happy again. And that’s the way that you wanted to keep her forever.

Your phone was left in your office for most of the day while you were working on the usual day-to-day activities of the museum. You had forgotten your little agreement with Taylor the night before, having settled back in for a night of watching Olivia Benson on the television solving cases.

So when you finally had a chance to sit down and look at your phone, you were surprised to see that it was dead. You plugged it into your spare charger only for it to turn on and have hundreds - maybe even more notifications. You had to quickly go into your settings and try to turn them off so that you could have a breath. That was when you remembered, and immediately opened up instagram. 2.6 million follow requests. Jesus. At least your account was on private, who knows what they would have done if they had been able to go thorugh your photos and comment on them.

You’d leave those for another time to deal with. The next time that you were taking the subway and had nothing else better to do. But for now, you went to Taylor’s profile, where you were one of her millions of followers, never anything special until now. The two pictures from the night before, kissing and silly icing on your nose. ‘#bakingwithboyfriend.’

Over three million likes. Comments galore. And most of them were not of the nice and supportive kind.

‘Oh my god, is this some body positivity stunt?’ 'This is literally like three of her exes put together, weightwise. ‘ 'Must be really rich or have great dick’

There were other ones that were much more rude, but you weren’t going to go through them. You couldn’t. You wouldn’t do that to yourself. You put the phone back down, face down so that you wouldn’t have to look at it, or at the very least be a lot less tempted.

“Mr y/l/n,” Your assistant said, poking his head into the office. His face was looking flushed, so that already gave you an idea of what was going on. He already knew about your relationship, but that didn’t stop him from having fan-boy moments whenever Taylor came in. “She’s here to see you.”

“She can come in,” You said with a nod. He popped his head back out and the tall, lithe figure of Taylor, as dressed down as she could be, walked into the stuffy room. She smiled nervously and sat down across from you in the spot where donors or assistants usually would sit.

“You saw those comments, didn’t you?” Taylor said. You simply nodded. “I already talked to my publicist and we’re going to be taking comments off all of my posts. It isn’t right. Any of it.”

“Can’t say that it wasn’t expected though,” You admitted, leaning back in your chair. “I’m not Styles or Hiddleston.”

“That’s why I love you,” Taylor insisted. “You’re not any of those men, you’re you. They’ve got nothing, nothing at all, on you.”

“But I’m apparently three of them,” You laughed humorlessly. “Look, I knew what I was getting into by falling in love with you. I can accept it. Just sucks that the day had come after all.”

Taylor was quiet for a moment, but then she leaned forward over the desk, and took hold of your hands, giving them a squeeze with her well manicured fingers. “You’re everything to me, y/n. And I just want to show you that. I want to show the whole world that.”

“I know. I know,” You breathed out with a sigh. “Were any of the comments good?”

“Selena is going apeshit in the comments. Or at least she was while I was on the way here. Threatening to fight some of the people saying the worst things but I already deleted most of the really bad ones. I have my publicist on it. Some of them were really positive though. You’re really handsome. Some of them are threatening to come after you when we break up.”

“Ha, like that’s ever going to happen,” You said, shaking your head. “You’re it for me, baby.”

“You’re it for me too,” Taylor said, raising your hands up to kiss the tops of them. Your unmusical hands. “So - are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll get over it. I guess. More incentive to go to the gym maybe. Gotta show your millions of fans that you can still get a buff guy after all.”

“Don’t change yourself too much,” She’d say, smiling. “You’re perfect. Completely and utterly ... perfect.”

#Taylor Swift #Taylor Swift x reader #Taylor Swift oneshot #celebrity #celebrity oneshot #onreshot #one shot #request #x reader #taylors

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fangirl-everythang · 3 years

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Happy Father's Day

Summary: (1/3) Y/n hasn't told Harry that she is pregnant yet, however, when the day comes around she finds out he's cheating.

Warning: Swearing, Taylor Swift Bashing (I love Taylor don't get me wrong, it's just for the story's sake.)

Word Count: 1492

It's been 5 weeks since I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to tell Harry the moment I found out. I scheduled a doctor's appointment to confirm it because you can't really trust generic pregnancy. But when the doctor confirmed it, I had no idea how to respond.

Hiding this from him has been the hardest thing I've ever done. Harry and I have been together for almost five years now. We met at his twenty-second birthday party in New York, I was twenty. He was pretty upset that he still had to tour for his birthday, but he said it was great making a new friend. Next thing you know we went public after two and moved in together for our third year. I'm so in love with him, but our careers are taking off, a baby would just interfere with all of it however Harry has always wanted children. He'd make such a great dad too, I can only imagine what our family will look like. But these thoughts often consume me, what if he doesn't want this?

I thought Father's Day would be the best day to tell him, you know like a surprise, and what a better time unless of course, he doesn't want our child. Our parents are coming over because of course, we have gifts and brunch so it's like three for one.

I've been distant from him recently, he's so concerned about me he thinks something is terribly wrong with my morning sickness and all. I figured I'd tell him with a gift which is a wooden base with yarn woven letters made of nails that spells 'dad' with the first ultrasound underneath, there's a card too! I'm so excited to finally start a family with Harry, I just hope he feels the same way. I have mugs for each of our dads that say, 'soon to be grandfather'. Honestly, I couldn't be happier. Opening the front door, I place the keys on the table next to me and walk the bags to the living room. That's funny Harry would've greeted me by now? He's probably asleep.

Setting up for later, I bring the balloons over realizing the tablecloths are upstairs. I work my way up the steps. These are gonna be a hassle with an extra 30-40 pounds on me. The closer I get to the top, I hear a light moan.

"I love y/n, she can't know about this" Harry's voice spoke.

Tiptoeing to peak into our bedroom I see my beloved boyfriend, father of my child shirtless kissing a pant-less Taylor Swift. Wow. Just my, fucking luck. Of course, he would! I mean what was I thinking.

"Of course not, my reputation is already bad" she breathes, cupping the side of his face.

I just watch him continue to kiss her after leaning into her touch. Debating whether to go in there, I feel frozen in my steps.

"This doesn't feel right" his deep voice sighs. No shit.

"She doesn't even care about you Harry, isn't that what you told me?" She says sweetly, such a snake.

He sighs and flips them, the scene before me, causes tears to come to my eyes. Opening the door making my presence known Harry turns to me with wide eyes while Taylor scrambles to find her pants and shirt.

"Y/n it's not-"

"I don't want to hear it" I say to him. Irritation and disgust line my voice. Grabbing the table covers I go back downstairs. I have what I need. After looking at my presentation admiring the work I've done. Harry and Taylor both come downstairs. His eyes red and puffy. I swear the tears make his eyes appear more beautiful, I hope my child has his eyes at least.

Astounded by my quiet stature he sits next to me and I stiffen. I'm just quiet because it's keeping me from crying. Taylor stares blankly at the floor.

"Why the fuck are you still here? Leave." I spit at her.

Oh, how I wish I could drink.

The doorbell rings alarming Taylor. I just walk her to the door and invite our parents in "Thank you Taylor" I say sincerely seeing her nod and pull off fast in her car. Tramp.

"What's that about?" Anne ask,

" New music" she smiles and comes in with everyone trailing her steps.

"Harry what's wrong love?" she asks wiping his tears.

"Nothing just allergies mum" she pats his back and sits at the table.

"Five years, I cannot believe it, Harry it's the longest you've had!" Rob states. "And the fans love you Y/n" Anne adds lightly patting my shoulder. "Our little girls all grown up" y/m/n wipes a fake tear from her eye. Everyone laughs. Thank god Harry is next to me so I don't have to look at him. He places his hand in my lap, but I push it off, going unnoticed by the crowd around us.

"Gift time!" I exclaim as he tries again. Placing each one down in-front of them, they all look up slightly confused.

"What's this?" Y/d/n ask.

"Open them, Haz just wait a few seconds after" they all agree. Rob opening his first then y/d/n they look at me then Harry, our moms looks match Harry's as he unwraps his gift. Stunned he looks at me with tears in his eyes. "Y-you're pregnant?"

"Yeah, surprise." Our parents run up to hug us.

"It's about time, I'm getting old over here!" Y/m/n shouts. Once they leave excitedly picking out baby names. I refuse to look at Harry. I make my way upstairs and begin packing some clothing.

"W-what are you doing?" Harry ask quietly.

"What does it look like Harry?" I say pushing past him going to the bathroom and grabbing some necessities. He just leans on the door frame watching me, still refusing to look at him. At first, I cared but I've made up my mind.

"How far along are we?"

"I'm almost 6 weeks but that doesn't matter" trying to walk past him he just grabs my arm and pulls me into him.

"I love you so much," he cries into my neck. I just stand there, motionless "I'm such a fuck up. Please don't leave me. I want to be here for you, for our baby. Y/n please." His hot tears continue to stream onto my shirt leaving a wet patch.

I soon give in rubbing his back gently. "Calm down Harry," I whisper into his ear as his sobs get louder "Breathe, okay."

Sitting on the closest surface near me, today has been long; I'm tired and pregnant give me a break. He stands between my legs looking down at me. I love him I do, and I want the best for our child, but this hurt. The one request I've had is he doesn't cheat, and he did. I stare at my feet avoiding him at all cost until his hand lifts my chin, forcing me to look at him. "I'm not asking you to forgive me, but I am asking you to stay." He states softly placing a random string of hair behind my ear. He slowly starts leaning in I don't stop him. Suddenly feeling nauseous at the thought of him kissing Taylor, I shove him away from me crying.

He tries to hold me, but I just shake my head frantically, "Harry No," I cry. "How could you!? In our house Harry!" I shout. Continuing to pack my things making myself mad at the thought of his hands all over his ex.

"Y/n I'm so sorry please just stop," clothes I need clothes, just for a few days I'll buy more later. Walking into the bedroom opening my laptop ignoring his pleads. I book a hotel for two weeks, until I situate what is happening. He just sits on the bed trying to see what I'm doing but I soon erased my browser history and factory restarted the device so he can't track anything. Let's combine our accounts so our calendars sync. A swell idea. Wiping my tears, I pack outfits for each day that wouldn't show anything to the paparazzi. He sits there with his head in his hand's sharp intakes of breath audible.

As I approach him, he assumes I'm going to touch him, but I simply go into the drawer next to him. Cringing at the thought of him and Taylor who were here not over 6 hours ago, Grasping the more recent black and white photos gently until I get a photo album for them. Contemplating for a minute looking at the small framed version of my uterus I carefully tear one off handing to him before I seal my bag and walk away, taking my keys and loading my stuff in the backseat.

Looking through the rearview mirror, saying a silent goodbye to the home I hoped to raise my child. It'll get better- I hope.

A/n: Hello Loves! This is also a piece I had on wattpad. Most of these posts today will be Wattpad uploads. I'm trying to see which platform suits my work best. Bear with me while I figure Tumblr out. Masterlist coming soon!

xoxo Janelle

#harry #harry styles #harryx reader #y/n #harry styles and y/n #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #writing #imagine #oneshot #smut #fanfiction #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb

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unsaid-stardust · 3 years

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“Julie and The Phantoms” No Longer Phantoms as They Debut at #1

Only a year ago today, internet band “Julie and The Phantoms” took the world by storm when they posted a cover of Taylor Swift’s “You Need To Calm Down”. From there, the band, which consists of lead singer Julie Molina (16), guitarist Luke Patterson (17), bassist Reggie Peters (17), and drummer Alex Mercer (17), continued to post weekly covers which garnered an average of 3 million hits per video. Sure enough, the band got picked up by Hollywood Ghost Club Records and signed on to record a total of 3 albums.

It would be easy to see that such rise to greatness could cause some trouble in paradise, but the band told a different story when I sat down with them at a local diner.

I was quick to notice that Julie had looked to her bandmates, careful not to overstep anyone wanting to answer, but the 3 boys had all eyes on her. Luke had nodded and teased “all you boss”, seemingly some sort of inside joke, which prompted Julie to take the lead just as she does on stage.

J: Ah well, we’re not really allowed to give any details quite yet, but we can say that there’s definitely some discussion happening behind the scenes!

I: of course! That all must be very exciting considering only a year ago today you guys were posting covers on YouTube!

L: Yeah, yeah it’s all super exciting. The boys and I had talked about it long before we even knew Julie, so it’s just crazy to see it all happening and now with a wicked beauty of a singer to light up the stage every night? What more could we have asked for?

Luke winked and clicked his tongue towards Julie who’s smile got brighter than before. The shooed her hand at the compliment though, a teasing “oh, stop it” sounding from her.

I: You mentioned that you knew Alex and Reggie before meeting Julie. Can either of you tell us how you guys all met?

A: Well Reggie, Luke, and I actually all knew each other since the 2nd grade. We met in the music room and the rest was history. With Julie though, Luke actually had seen one of her original songs--which was “Wake Up” I know that for a fact because you can’t forget the first time you heard a voice like that--floating around on YouTube at the time. Reggie and I had just been chilling in our studio and Luke came running in with his laptop and said-

R: Wait-wait! I Wanna take this one I do a great Luke impersonation

A chuckle escaped from Julie’s lips and the two boys in question had shook their heads.

A: Do you...? Okay.

Reggie then began to pretend that he was preparing for an acting gig, his thumb pressed to his two fingers as he brought them in front of his face, releasing a breath of focused air.

R: guys guys you have to check out this insanely talented wicked beauty. Her pipes are just insane

L: I did not say that

R and A: Yeah you did.

Julie took the reins then just as natural as she were taking the reins on stage.

J: Well, even if you did or didn’t say that, that is how you guys found me. They emailed me after that and they invited me over to their studio where we had a impromptu jam-sesh. We didn’t even have a song planned to practice which is how “Bright” was actually born. So, after copious amounts of begging and begging and begging-

Luke playfully punched the lead singer in the arm and as Alex and Reggie threw out objections.

J: ok ok, I said yes to joining the band right away and as Alex said earlier, the rest is history

I: Oh, you guys for sure were meant to make this history together. You just have this natural chemistry with one another. I mean just from hearing how you guys met and then from seeing you guys today--you guys have been so in sync this whole time. I mean Reggie, you and Alex answer the same. And Luke and Julie, you two have moved the same the entire time. It’s just amazing watching you all here and on stage. But speaking of Luke and Julie, I have to ask...are you two dating?

The two shifted in their seats, but they never took their eyes off of the other, which is not the only time that Patterson had been the culprit of doing so. Both took the time to answer giving Reggie the leeway.

R: They’re not, but they should be

It’s hard to tell if the sun had just hit Julie and Luke at the wrong time or if the L.A temperature had suddenly gotten to them, but Julie was quick to respond to the bassist.

J: A-ha you’re so funny Reggie. No, no we um....we aren’t dating. I love all the guys right here next to me and I feel like I’ve bonded with them so much over the past year; they're pretty much my family. Alex and I have dance parties in my room and paint each others nails and Reggie and I gush over Taylor Swift’s newest albums and Luke and I...we just have a different bond from songwriting, you know? So I really just take that speculation as having great chemistry with my band which is definitely needed when you spend hours locked in a studio trying to get an album done.

I: Speaking of the album, can we talk about the album cover for a minute? It’s just so unique and eye-catching! Can you tell us what inspired you to choose this for your debut album cover?

Alex: Our really good friend and PR assistant Flynn actually designed it. She said that she took into consideration all of our personalities and what made us “Julie and The Phantoms” and went into photoshop and designed this masterpiece. The colors behind us our each of our favorite colors and the space background kinda comes from the idea that all of us feel like something fated us together. The universe maybe, but whatever it was we were meant to play together. And the font is a homage to Star Wars for Reggie!

I: that’s amazing! So what you’re saying is, I need to contact Flynn for all my graphic designing needs?

The band immediately nod their heads in agreement.

J: yeah she’s amazing. She’s actually my best friend too and she was the one who really got us going. We wouldn’t be here without her!

I: Sounds like a true friend! Alright, well, thank you guys for letting me sit down with you guys. It was a pleasure, one more thing to ask though--if you could have written any existing song, what would it be?

R: ooooo definitely ‘home is where my horse is’ that one is a masterpiece

The band, excluding Julie, groaned at the title.

L: Reggie stop trying to go country it’s not gonna happen

A: and that isn’t answering the question since it doesn’t exist!

J: hey, hey, it exists in Reggie and Me’s heart ok.

The bassist reached over to high five the lead singer.

A: I wish I would’ve written “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” by the icon that is Whitney Houston.

J: ooo that’s a good one. Anything by Alicia Keys for me. Or Aretha Franklin. Those two were definitely my idols growing up

L: oh “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day for sure. The lyrics in that one hit hard man I'd love to just write a song that does that to people one day.

I: Well, looking at the charts, it appears like you might have already! Thank you so much again for sitting down with me today. Hopefully we’ll get to talk sometime soon and I look forward to seeing what you guys get up to in the future!

You can now stream “Bright Forever” on Apple Music and Spotify!

#Julie and The Phantoms #Jatp #julie molina #Luke patterson #Alex Mercer #reggie peters #jatp au #jatp edit #this is sort of an au I guess #literally dont know how this happened lmao #sakljdfh #bree edits jatp

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uwurakax · 3 years

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teardrops on my guitar ♡

pairing: semi x f!reader ♡

genre: angsty // unrequited love // pining ♡

summary: it was like the plot of any rom com; two kids, a boy and a girl who were best friends since childhood and inseparable. you fell in love with him, and maybe he could’ve loved you too. such a shame he grew feelings for someone else ♡

word count: 1.7k ♡

author’s note: i love the pretty setters so much why am i doing this t-t which one next? lolol jk - not proofread sry. also wtf tryna write this on the train then some nub slams into my seat from behind dude u wot ♡

♡ (inspired by teardrops on my guitar by taylor swift) ♡

“What’s this?”

“A flower duh”

“But.. why...?”

“My dad gives them to my mum. He says he loves her after”

“But why are you giving it to me?”

“Because we love each other right?”

“Yeah”

“And one day we’ll get married and stuff”

“Hahaha, yeah! And then you give me all the flowers!”

A sweet memory, one from many years prior had always managed to pop into your mind at the most random times. You wished it didn’t, an adorable and innocent reminiscence had no place here, only offering confusion and complications. Semi Eita is your best friend, you wouldn’t let your feelings ruin your friendship with him.

Sometimes you’d wonder what would happen if you did actually confess to him. Wondering if he actually did remember the childish promise the two of you made. Neither of you had known of the power and meaning of the words uttered between you at barely 6 years old. The innocence of it all turned into something different.

Something deeper.

You also wondered if he would’ve looked at her. It was way too easy to fall into the mindset of ‘if I had told him, would he have looked at me the way he does her?’. ‘If I said my feelings sooner, could he have held me the same?’.

If I had told Semi I loved him, would he kiss me like that too?

There was way too many ifs going through your head, it was a marvel you could concentrate on anything else. At least during these moments your heart had some reprieve, a minuscule break of the pain you had to endure everyday you saw him with her.

Everyday during lunch, she sat next to him. The couple sitting opposite you at the table and you absolutely loathed it. It didn’t seem fair, the two of them being all lovey dovey, the sight of a picture perfect couple. Flaunting the perfect love they shared to anyone and everyone who saw. It just sucked that you were in the front row.

Everyday at practice she was there, cheering on Semi. Her yells and squeals echoing against the court walls. They easily overshadowed your silent ones. She’d jump excitedly next to you, clapping and screaming for the team. If you squinted, you could’ve pretended that the warm smile he threw over at the both of you was for you only.

You knew better though. Knew that any affection of love held was hers, and only hers. Knew the cheeky winks and blown kisses were reserved only for her. Knew that the uncontrollable feelings you felt for your best friend would never be reciprocated.

For only small moments, you could delude yourself into believing that Semi Eita had loved you the way you loved him.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Jogging towards you, you handed Semi his water bottle, a small smile tugging on your lips. He wasn’t looking at you though. Honestly he never looked at you anymore, not with her around. Even when she wasn’t his eyes scanned for her. Like nothing else even mattered as long as she was there.

You had to hold back a sigh, quietly watching as he stared at her with such loving eyes. You wanted to hate it. Absolutely despise the way he looked at her, but you couldn’t. He looked so happy. Like a scene from a romance movie, he eyed her as if she was the sun, and everything just revolved around her. The whole nine yards of feeling goosebumps and a quickening heartbeat, Semi felt it all.

You wondered if she even knew the adoration he held for her. Despite her back being turned, despite the fact that she was engaged in conversation with someone else, Semi was undeniably smitten.

“You know, I think she’s the one” Semi whispered to you. This was the harsh reality of it all. No matter how much you wished, Semi Eita just wasn’t meant for you.

“You think so?” You tried to hide your exhaustion, numbness taking over your body. You could still feel the pinpricks of heartache however, no matter how much you tried to push it down. And sooner or later, it would overwhelm you until you buried your face into your pillow and cried til you fell asleep. That was a problem for future you though.

“Yeah, I do” he smiled wistfully at her, your heart fracturing little by little. You knew that look all too well. The look of longing, admiration and pure love. Recognised it all to well, because it was the way you looked at him. In class, at lunch and during practice. Whenever he wasn’t looking, you’d lower your wall by the tiniest bit.

You weren’t unknown to the fact that she looked at him exactly the same way too.

Whenever he was concentrating on his work, his serves or chatting with his friends, she’d gaze at him with the same affection that was unknown to Semi himself. It wasn’t hard to be envious. Not just because you were in love with Semi too, but to find something so special was so incredibly rare.

“I’m really happy for you Semi, I’m glad you found her.” You looked away, not wanting Semi to see your face. Sure that if he saw your eyes, he’d see the heartbreak swimming beneath the glistening tears that had just barely started to form.

“Semi!” You heard her squeal, bouncing her way to the both of you and throwing herself in his arms. It truly was unfair how they seemed to meld together so well. Like ying and yang, the moon and tides. You couldn’t have one without the other, so complimentary in existence.

You tuned them out, not wishing to subject yourself to anymore heartache for the day.

“You should join us Y/N! We don’t hang out much and I wanna get to know Semi’s best friend more” she smiled. Her wonderfully radiant smile beamed at you. Pearly whites shining under the lights, it was like God himself blessed her, an invisible spotlight on her at all times. Guess God really did have favourites, and she was impeccable.

“Ah I’d love to but I really have to get this homework done or I never will. Plus don’t wanna intrude” you shyly said. You didn’t know how much you would’ve been able to take.

“Alright fine but next time! Gotta promise ‘kay?” She giggled and snuggled up to Semi’s side.

“Of course, it’s a promise”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

You were slow packing up your books and pens, the lunch bell normally alerting your body to speed your way to your lunch table to prolong the little break you did get.

When you finally did make it to your friends, you noticed Semi hadn’t arrived yet, and the only open seat was next to her. With a quiet sigh, you reluctantly sat down.

Opening your school bought bento, you picked at the egg, too exhausted from everything and just not being in the mood to eat.

“Y/N, you alright?” Her super sweet and feminine voice rang in your ear. Honestly, it was just grating to you now. You plastered on a fake smile.

“Yeah, sorry just super tired” you continued to stare at your food, probably looking like you hated the mix of meat and vegetables. Just for today, you didn’t want to pretend to be okay. Pretending that you were happy for your best friend. Pretending that you weren’t in love with him. Pretending that you didn’t hate his girl even though she did nothing to warrant any form of hatred from you.

“Guess who!” You saw Semi over your shoulder, playfully covering her eyes and hiding one arm behind is back. She giggled out his name, pulling his arm off and giving him a quick peck. You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes, their public display of affection eating away at you, and making you more infuriated and annoyed.

Semi pulled a beautiful bouquet from his back and handed them to her, her eyes widening in surprise.

Flowers huh?

“Wow Semi, these are gorgeous! But you didn’t have to..” she stared starstruck, unable to look away at the assortment of flora. Pinks, reds and whites decorated the bouquet, and were wrapped in a gorgeous purple cellophane.

“I know, I wanted to. You do give flowers to the person you like right?”

And just like that, your heart completely shattered.

She gave Semi another peck, thanking him for the thoughtful gesture.

You quickly arose from your seat, throwing your napkin and chopsticks into your bento, packing it up and quietly leaving the table.

“Hey, where are you going?” Semi called out to you, both of them looking at you curiously.

“Sorry, just need to go to the bathroom real quick” and you scurried off, throwing away your barely eaten meal with a bit more force than necessary.

When you finally made it to the bathrooms, you slammed the door and leaned your back against it. You started to inhale deeply, the once cute memory that brought you happiness now only gave you pain. You pulled the toilet lid down and sat, not caring if it wasn’t as hygienic as it should’ve been.

Curling your knees into your chest, you buried your face in them and let out the anguish and hurt that had been waiting to spill over. The hot burning tears that you only had yourself to blame for, because you were the idiot who fell in love with their best friend.

You cried until your eyes felt swollen and heavy, the constant friction of repeated rubs on the sleeve of your blazer added to the redness in your eyes. You looked down at your black polished school shoes, unaware of how much time had actually passed. It didn’t matter anyway.

Steadily, you got up from the seat. Once you left this bathroom stall, you’d never cry over Semi Eita ever again. You’d be the best friend, the one who would always be happy for him; and you wouldn’t fake it this time. You’d actively and attentively listen to him about his relationship, no longer going to feel bitter. You’d smile and cheer, and be the most supportive you could be, how you should be. They deserved that.

You’d let Semi go.

Perhaps tonight, with the newly made promises to yourself, you’d finally be able to get some sleep.

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq!! x reader #semi x reader #semi x you

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ladybeug · 3 years

Text

Okay remember the chloe breakup playlist?

@peachesandheather and @chaotictaste THANKS FOR ASKING i know its way later but i would LOVE to break this playlist down lets get GOING!

this is a follow up to THIS post.

CONTEXT: for this fanmix to read correctly, you need to know its an aged-up AU. Chloe’s grown a bit already, and she’s learned to value making other people happy just for the sake of making them happy. She joins the superhero gang and they all reveal identities and she dates marinette for a bit but realizes that marinette is still into adrien, and so chloe breaks up with her. That’s the facts, theres a drabble about it here if you want more emotional depth.

LISTEN HERE ON SPOTIFY and follow along. There will also be links to youtube lyric videos if you prefer that.

Without further ado:

The Louvre - Lorde

This is a key track. The title track.

The metaphor of the louvre itself really sits with me. On the one hand, it’s The Louvre - an internationally recognized place to Put Important Things. What’s more, to put Art - beautiful things that defy description. And yet we keep trying. On the other hand, it’s The Louvre - there’s a suggestion that you’re not supposed to touch it. It’s precious enough that it needs to be preserved and displayed carefully - don’t knock into it. That’s a scary new relationship. Something extremely precious that you almost trust.

Now remember the louvre metaphor, that one comes back in track 7.

The rest of this breakdown is under the cut to spare the poor people just trying to scroll through tumblr. You guys enjoy your evening. Everyone else, follow me!!

If you’re reading this i love you thank you for indulging me.

You’re Gonna Make me Lonesome When You Go - Madeleine Peyroux

Despite not being the title track, this is the song that inspired the whole playlist! I love it. Its layered.

I like to imagine Chloe has a moment, like the calm before the storm, when she realizes she has to break up with marinette, and she feels almost zen about it. Maybe she’s been struggling with trying to open up and be vulnerable and ask for love. And finally she decides she doesn’t want to ask for love anymore, she’s tired of it, and she’s going to go back to pushing people away. For a moment it’s just a relief to stop trying, it’s comforting to revert to who she used to be in the face of losing marinette.

This song has a resigned feel to it. It feels like someone who doesn’t quite really believe they deserve love. That’s a theme throughout this playlist too.

Lastly, in the context of the AU - chloe would feel good about giving marinette a chance to be with someone she really wants to be with. She’s grown a lot since she was a kid and likes to be the kind of person who cares about others. It’s bittersweet but feels a little... right.

Call it Off - Tegan & Sara

They break up.

Paper Bag - Fiona Apple

Chloe takes it back, it doesn’t feel ‘bittersweet but a little... right’!! It sucks!!

This one’s about chloe feeling sorry for herself about having to break up with Marinette. It’s bitter and frustrated, it says why can’t I have nice things?? It’s about being SO close to love - so close you could taste it - and having to cut yourself off.

It also has that resigned feel to it - the need to starve yourself of love because you can’t have it. The disbelief in a happy ending, and a little bit of self blame.

Woke Up New - The Mountain Goats

This is the other side of the breakup coin. If ‘Paper Bag’ is the bitterness and reflection on how chloe feels about breaking up, ‘Woke Up New’ is just about... not having marinette.

It removes the self-reflection and the over-thinking. It’s just about loss. You miss someone. And I think chloe would miss marinette. She’s been lonely before, and for a while she didn’t feel lonely, and now she feels lonely again - it’s uncomplicatedly sad. It’s just a sad moment.

Be Mine! - Robyn

Okay now we turn up the tempo a little, we’ve been sad, we’ve been self-reflective, bring on the poor coping mechanisms! Turn up the volume, pour yourself a drink, and get a little mad about your breakup!

But also dont forget to be kind of resigned and defeatist about it. That’s still crucial and will continue to be crucial for a little longer.

Fists Up - BLOW

This is another key song, and is our second reference to the Louvre.

But it brings a third, new aspect to the Louvre, that Lorde didn’t bring. The security of the Louvre. BLOW says, ‘my love is a fortress, my love is the louvre, but it can’t ever thrive if i’m forced to keep proving it’. There’s the same suggestion that love is worth valuing, but also reminds us that love is difficult to access - which is absolutely true for chloe, who protects herself instinctively. She’s always been very defensive, and part of growing has been fighting to overcome that instinct - it’s what let her get so close to marinette in the first place. But it didn’t work out, which is bitter, and makes her angry. There’s almost a self-righteousness, trying to blame someone else for not treating you precious enough.

Also worth noting that this song is about the internal fight between hope and defeat in a relationship. Chloe ended the relationship with ladybug because she didn’t believe it would work, and she doesn’t believe she’s enough. But it’s so hard to stop hope, which makes defeat more painful.

Shampain - Marina and the Diamonds

Remember when we started drinking to Robyn’s “Be Mine”? We are drinking a LOT more now and we are SO COOL and DONE thinking about this. We are NOT SAD ANYMORE!!! ITS FINE!!

Hurricane Drunk - Florence & the Machine

Chloe is still very drunk and is now being sad on purpose.

Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Now it’s 3 am and chloe is not that drunk anymore but she is soooo so so sad. Chloe misses her girlfriend sooo much. this sucks this sucks this sucks alcohol did not help??? how come that didnt work??

If you wanna get creative this is the scene where chloe shows up on marinettes balcony and makes a scene and marinette takes her home and tucks her in very kindly and very platonically.

Gotta Have You - The Weepies

This song is on the cusp of acceptance. This playlist is admittedly like... a little depressing, especially as I write it all out - theres a lot of wrestling with self-esteem, and fighting loneliness. That’s hard. This song is tired. It’s tried everything.

It’s the thematic foil to ‘You’re Going To Make Me Lonesome When You Go’. Both songs have the same gentle, steady rhythm. In the first, chloe was in the relationship, sad but accepting that the relationship would end. Now, she’s out of the relationship, and she just wants to be back in. But there’s a little bit of that same acceptance.

This song feels like saying out loud what you want, and even though you can’t have it, the fact that you know what it is and you can say it feels good.

Go Ahead - Rilo Kiley

Alright guys we’re solidly in acceptance by now. We’re out of the heavy emotional woods. We’ve made it.

This song is bittersweet and not a truly happy one, but it holds a genuine wish for someone else’s happiness that hasn’t appeared in most of the songs in this playlist. It’s reminiscent of the wish chloe had in the first place, to end the relationship not only to protect herself but to give marinette a chance to be happy. To do a good and selfess thing.

It’s both. It’s sad and it’s good. It’s complex.

New Years Day - Taylor Swift

This is the third key song. And it’s a truly beautiful one.

This song ties us back to the beginning, and says do you remember what all this fuss is really about? What was so important that you put it in the Louvre?

Chloe is still on a team with marinette. There’s a point at which she would have to choose to cut marinette off, or... figure out something else. This song is about figuring out something else. The ‘what comes next’ of a difficult relationship. They don’t get back together, but they stay friends, even if its weird, and even when chloe feels left out or marinette doesn’t know what to say. But they want to stay in each others lives. And it’s worth the work.

A Fairytale Ending - The Boy Least Likely To

A reflection on how difficult it is to grow and face life head on, and how it changes you.

I Wanna Get Better - Bleachers

We have to have some closure here. It’s going to be okay.

THATS THE PLAYLIST

Pretty somber now that I have it all written out like that. but still a great one.

#chlonette #fanmix #i spent almost exactly two hours on this post #two hours well spent #now thats what i call recreation

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lesbianlotties · 4 years

Text

Andromaquynh’s Story - songs

(an incomplete list of my personal favorite songs/lyrics that make me think of the immortal wives. they come with sort of very specific context for each one.)

One night, one death. Hundreds of nights, thousands of dreams. Neither of them knows, at the beginning, what the dreams mean. Soon enough though, the dreams turn into hope, into a firm belief in each other’s existence. The dreams turn into love before they even look at each other’s eyes. The dreams are everything, and the best part is that they offer the possibility of something more. aka a hundred years of yearning:

When you sleep - mary lambert

I could make you happy / I could make you love me / I could disappear completely / I could be your love song / I could be long gone / I could be a ghost in your eardrum / When you sleep, will it be with me?

I swore I saw you in a dream / All dressed in white and wide smile

How did I miss you, when I didn't know you? / How did I miss you, when I didn't know you? / How did I miss you, when I didn't know you?

Quynh had giving up. She had given up entirely and she was determined not to walk out of that desert alive. Then... Andromache. The dreams were real, the dreams were standing right in front of her in the shape of the most strikingly beautiful warrior. Suddenly nothing else mattered but their future together. Their future was sweet, like Andy’s favorite pastries that Quynh adoringly watched her enjoy. The future was endless. Because as long as they had each other to come back to, death wasn’t strong enough to take them:

Work song - hozier

And I was burning up a fever / I didn't care much how long I lived / But I swear, I thought I dreamed her / She never asked me once about the wrong I did

There's nothin' sweeter than my baby / I'd never want once from the cherry tree / 'Cause my baby's sweet as can be / She give me toothaches just from kissin' me

When, my, time comes around / Lay me gently in the cold dark earth / No grave can hold my body down / I'll crawl home to her

Then there’s Andy. Thousands of years of solitude turn to nothing the second that Quynh’s eyes meet hers. For the first time Andy allows herself to feel hope, to love and be loved without the fear of loss. In Quynh’s smile she finds purpose, joy, and everything she could ever need for eternity:

The last of the real ones - fall out boy

I was just an only child of the universe / And then I found you, and then I found you / You are the sun and I am just the planets / Spinning around you

I will shield you from the waves if they find you / I will protect you, I will protect you

I'm here, at the beginning of the end / Oh, the end of infinity with you

I'm done with having dreams, the thing that I believe / You drain the fear from me

Fear the future - st. vincent

When the Earth split in two / I was I, you were you / I run for you, run for me, too / When the wall rose and fell / And the oceans all swell / I run for you, run for me, too

Cosmonauts - fiona apple

When I met you, I was fine with my nothing / I grew with you and now I've changed / What I've become is something I can't be without your loving / Be good to me, it isn't a game

Now let me see, it's you and me, forgive, good God / How do you suppose that we'll survive?

When you resist me, hon', I cease to exist / Because I only like the way I look when looking through your eyes

There was a time when she was worshipped as a God. And, afterward, there was no way Andy believed in the gods that humans make up every now and then. That is, until the first day she gets to hold Quynh in her arms. The eyes that can render her helpless and down to her knees. The smile that makes her feel alive yet the only thing that could kill her. The skin that’s soft, that’s on fire, that’s the only truly holy place where Andy has found herself lost in. aka homoerotic religious imagery for the immortal wives:

Take me to church - hozier

She tells me "Worship in the bedroom" / The only Heaven I'll be sent to / Is when I'm alone with you

If I'm a pagan of the good times / My lover's the sunlight / To keep the goddess on my side / She demands a sacrifice / Drain the whole sea

Holy - zolita

Worship your body as you walk my way / You're the only one who can make me pray / I fall at your feet, your breath's divine / And underneath my skin's an intrinsic shrine

I'll give my soul, sacrifice me / Cause your love is holy

I'd rather drown in your ocean / Than wither on the shore / Undying devotion, feel you in my core / Veneration, this faith's got me high / Nothing without you, live for you till I die

Church - fall out boy

Time capsule for the future / Trust me, that's what I will be / Oh, the things that you do in the / Name of what you love / You are doomed but just enough

If you were church, I'd get on my knees / Confess my love, I'd know where to be / My sanctuary, you're holy to me

The witches trials. Is there anything more to say? They go in feeling invincible. Partially for their immortality, mostly because they are together. They face death while holding hands and with smiles on their faces as they’ve always had. How could they have predicted what came next?:

Which witch - florence and the machine

And it's my own heart / While tried and tested, it's mine / And it's my own heart / Trying to reach it out / And it's my own heart / Burned but not buried this time / I'm on trial, waiting 'til the beat comes out / I'm on trial, waiting 'til the beat comes out

The bottom of the ocean is cold, it is dark, the pressure is unbearable and the pain unending. If Quynh has any time to think, before dying again, it might spent blaming Andy, missing Andy, hating Andy, loving Andy, with just enough time to curse the ocean around her. aka Quynh making the most of the water/drowning theme:

What the water gave me - florence and the machine

Time it took us / To where the water was / That’s what the water gave me / And time goes quicker / Between the two of us / But oh, my love, don’t forsake me / Take what the water gave me

Hold my breath until I die - tegan and sara

Late at night, when your words are eating me alive / Does it make you sad to leave me here like that? / In my dreams, the blood runs from my eyes / If I fall, will you catch me in your arms?

If I hold my breath until I die, I’ll be alright

Pool - paramore

I’m underwater / No air in my lungs / My eyes are open / I’m done giving up / You are the wave / I could never tame / If I survive / I’ll dive back in

Dying over and over again, Quynh comes out of the ocean with a certain... clarity. Hubris, she says is their sin. They’ve never claimed to be angels, but they’ve refused to be devils, which she says they are. She may or may not believe that their real purpose is to make humans suffer. If Andromache won’t listen, she’ll have to show her what it all means. aka Quynh coming out of the ocean to shame mankind, or just Andy:

Just one yesterday - fall out boy ft. foxes

I know I’m bad news / I saved it all for you

If I spilled my guts / The world would never look at you the same way / And now I’m here to give you all of my love / So I can watch your face as I take it all away.

Five hundred years ago, Andy lost the love of her life. But she meant it when she said she lost a soldier. She was a leader, she should have been the one to face Quynh’s fate. The least she could have done was find her soon, and she failed there too. Now, if Quynh has come back full of rage, furious and thirsty for revenge, Andy is willing to accept it with open arms. She believes she deserves it:

I don’t smoke - mitski

Being with you / makes the flame burn good

So if you need to be mean / be mean to me. / I can take it and put it inside of me. / If you’re hands need to break / more than trinkets in your room / you can lean on my arm / as you break my heart.

Quynh, having escaped her underwater prison, is completely overcome with conflicting emotions. She finds Andy broken, guilty, still wearing her necklace and crying for her. But wasn’t she the one that broke their promise, stopped looking for her, gave up? Quynh, dealing with an unmeasurable and overwhelming mixture of hurt, heartbreak, love, rage, love... love and all the pain that comes with it, and how it all might lead them to a final fight with each other from which both of them can’t come out alive:

My tears ricochet - taylor swift

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe / All the hell you gave me? / 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you / 'Til my dying day

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace / And you're the hero flying around, saving face / And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake / Cursing my name, wishing I stayed / Look at how my tears ricochet

You know I didn't want to have to haunt you / But what a ghostly scene / You wear the same jewels that I gave you / As you bury me

And you can aim for my heart, go for blood / But you would still miss me in your bones

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

You turned into your worst fears / And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain / Crossing out the good years

Then, of course, there’s Andy’s side of the story. Andy, did she ever really give up? Didn’t she pray to all the gods she’s outlived? Didn’t she protect that necklace more than her own life, even now that she’s mortal? She’d be ready to offer Quynh anything, everything she wanted for a little forgiveness, for a small moment just to love each other. In the end, will it all depend on the strength of their eternal love for each other?:

Old wounds - pvris

They say don't open old wounds / But you're still brand new

I've got nothing left to lose besides you / I've already lost you once, what more could you do?

I think I could love you 'til the day that you die / If you let me love you when the timing is right / And if they said I had to, I swear I'd wait my whole life / I think I could love you 'til the day that you die

#basically i made this for myself but i need to share it or i'll die so hello !! please validate me #the old guard #andy x quynh #andromaquynh #immortal wives #andromache the scythian #quynh #tog andy #tog quynh #tog #the old guard meta #is it? i never know #the old guard movie #andy and quynh #my post #andromaquynh songs #yes one of this was just to include the title of one of my fics

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sativaasiren · 3 years

Text

Pairing: HawksxReader

Genre: hurt/angst

Summary: The dark side to dating a pro hero, and the secrets that divide. Reader has to find the courage to leave a one sideded relationship with Hawks. Inspired by “Tolerate it” by Taylor Swift.

Notes: This came to me one night so I had to get it all out while I remembered it. Might edit the story later and add more detail if I find it’s not fleshed out enough. For best effect, listen to “Tolerate It” by Taylor Swift while reading this fic!

————————————————————

*I sit and watch you reading with your head low. I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed. I sit and watch you.*

(Y/N) was up late, writing furiously with reckless abandon. Things were probably illegible and impossible to read but she didn’t care. She had to get things on paper now while the feelings were spilling out. It was finally time.

*I notice everything you do or don’t do. You’re so much older and wiser and I..*

(Y/N) closed her eyes and thought back to all the memories, both wonderful and painful, trying to piece together how her loving relationship with everyone’s favorite #2 Pro Hero Hawks had soured into a resentful mess. She had been thinking about leaving for months, but today felt right. It was time.

(Y/N) chewed the skin off her lower lip while she started to share her side to their story with him through the letter on the desk. He was asleep in the other room, passed out on the small couch in their bedroom, and it gave her the chance to process in the silence.

*I wait by the door like I’m just a kid. Use my best colors for your portrait. Lay the table with the fancy shit. And watch you tolerate it. *

It wasn’t always this way. Keigo tried at first. He was always fond of big romantic gestures and small acts of servitude when he got home from a mission. You were always relieved when he came home safely, even if it was covered in bandages and hardly able to walk.

Hawks loved you in the best way he could, but it was not something he could maintain. He was not equipped to have a long term meaningful connection with another person, he didn’t even know how. Over time, he wouldn’t come home with flowers after a large mission away, he came home with a limp wave and headed straight for bed silently.

(Y/N) squeezed her hands into fists, forcing her tears back from spilling onto the paper. If she let herself feel too much, she wouldn’t be able to stop and she would be damned before letting him see evidence of your love on this letter. He can’t know you’re fighting the urge to stay. A bad relationship with Keigo was better than the bile that rose in your throat at the idea of seeing him with another woman, even if it might be too late for that.

Hawks seemed done with you too. You knew he had to be feeling the same as you. He never touched you anymore, not even when you tried to initiate some late night sex as a melatonin replacement. (Y/N) would spend her time at work and her time at home spent alone panicking. Was he with someone else? Why was he never home? He didn’t kiss me goodbye this time, is he coming back?

*If it’s all in my head, tell me now. Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow. I know my love should be celebrated. But you tolerate it. *

(Y/N) had really gone above and beyond to win Keigo’s affection, playing hard to get and rebuffing his early advances. You had met him completely by chance. You had been running late on your way to work and jogging wasn’t fast enough to get you there on time. You took a sharp right into the alley between an old house and a quick mart. You should have been paying attention to where you were headed but had taken a brief glance down at your feet. It was just long enough for you to collide head-first into someone. The man grunted and took a fumbled step backwards.

“I-I’m sorry! I’m running so late!”. (Y/N) brushed at her soft blouse to push off any dust that might have gathered from the collision.

“Would you want a lift?” His voice struck a chord within her chest, resonating inside of her, but it was only a second before she connected the voice to the man. “You’re Hawks”.

He chuckled at your very astute observation. “I am. Do you want a lift?”

Who were you to say no to a ride with a pro hero and the fan favorite one at that? He wasn’t so bad to look at, but you had kept your gaze off of him. You knew once you started staring, you’d never stop. “Yeah, I’ll need one if I want to be on time”

Hawks didn’t wait for you to second guess your decision, he scooped you into his arms and jumped into the air. You suppressed a small scream in your throat. The scene in front of you caught your attention completely, the sky had never looked so beautiful before. The world felt small below you. You looked up to see Hawks laughing at your reaction. You were wearing all your emotions on your face and he loved every second of it. You were so beautiful with the wind in your hair and he wanted to make you smile. Hawks clutched on tighter and spun you through a loop. You grabbed the front of his jacket tightly and squeezed your eye shut and he kept laughing. Hawks started to descend. “Tell me which building is yours” he shouted over the wind.

You feebly pointed to the dark gray building on the corner. A small office that focused on finance, it was a simple job that paid your bills. Hawks lowered slowly to the ground and set you on the cement sidewalk. “Here we are!” Hawks was beaming at you, ignorant to the gathering fans scrambling to get a picture, entirely enraptured by you. “I gotta go but maybe I could give you another ride sometime, kid. See you around”. He saluted you with two fingers to the temple and headed boldly into the crowd. You stood still, watching him fade from view. Your heart was pounding, from the flying, you told yourself. Just the flying. You ran inside for work, couldn’t get another ride if you lost this job now could you?

Hawks met you outside of your office every single day that week, waiting for the chance to fly you home. You managed to refuse every day this week but your resilience was fading. How could anyone say no to him? He melted the hearts of every woman he spoke to and you were no exception. His goofy grin, the snarky comments, he seEmed so carefree and perfect. You punched out of your shift and headed for the front door, sure enough, he was waiting for you.

“Need a ride, kid?” He leaned forward with his hands in his pockets, watching your every movement keenly.

“I’m not sure. Do I?” You loved messing with him. You felt powerful, knowing that a refusal was uncommon in his daily life. He needed to be knocked down a few pegs and you were overjoyed to do it.

“I think maybe you do. It’s getting dark out and you shouldn’t be walking these streets alone.”

You pretended to be weighing out the options and once you felt you had toyed with him enough, you agreed. Hawks walked over and scooped you into his arms once again. All you could smell was his cologne and his warmth was so distracting. This time; you were more focused on him than the sky. He noticed. “You’re gonna have to tell me where you live, if that’s okay with you”.

You rolled your eyes and shouted the street address, resisting the urge to lie and get more time with him by giving a fake address. He nodded without looking down at you and made his way across town. After a few minutes, the ride was coming to an end. Your house was within eyesight and you secretly begged him to stay. Hawks headed down to the balcony on your place and gently landed next to the small white patio set. “Here were are. I’m going to have to start charging you cab fare , kid”

You gently smacked his chest as you got out of his grasp and regained your sense of motion. “Cab fare? If you start charging me, I’m going to want more than a one way ride”.

Hawks exhaled through his nose and leaned in toward your face. “What do you want?”

You reached out and grabbed the sides of his face, gently caressing his cheek with the pad of your thumb. “What’s on the table?”.

Hawks returned the gesture by pulling your waist into his and kissing you softly on the lips. You pulled him into the kiss harder, tugging on the back of his head. He almost tasted sweet. His hands pawed at your hips through your clothing, taking your shape in. “That.”

That was almost 2 years ago now. It all seems so vivid and fresh in your memory. You’ve had Keigo on the same beautiful pedestal the entire relationship, the only art piece in your soul museum. He was everything. You made sure he knew that he was everything.

Keigo would leave on missions for 2-3 weeks at a time but you cleaned the house and kept things orderly for his return. You had stocked the house to the brim his favorite foods, bought small tokens of love that reminded you of him, and always made a hot meal hoping that today would be the day he came home.

As time passed, his enthusiasm for you faded. He looked almost sad to see you as his only welcome party after a particularly brutal battle. He was keeping secrets and Keigo knew that if he got close to you again, they would be found out. He’d rather come home to the girl he fell out of love with than to no one at all. Every mission had a hidden conquest, a one night stand, a warm body. He lost track of all the women and sometimes men he would bury his sorrow into. Nothing could fill the void in his heart, it had been there for so long, there was no fixing it. Hawks didn’t know how to fully love anyone including himself. He imitated those around him but it was fake. Hawks faked everything to match those around him. Blend in, do what they do, and maybe the feelings will follow.

You suspected he was hiding things. It took a lot of work to get a two sided conversation out of him. He was lying, even on points that didn’t need to be lied about. Losing track of what you knew and didn’t know, and hedging his bets.

“Do you even miss me when you’re gone doing God knows what?”

The words slipped out of your mouth before you had a chance to plot out where you wanted this statement to go.

Hawks looked up at you from across the room and returned his gaze to the warm coffee in his hands, still steaming. “Only sometimes”

You thought you could handle this but you couldn’t. You stormed out and rushed into the bathroom, locking the door behind you. Sliding down onto your knees and clutching the marble countertop, you crumbled.

*I greet you with a battle hero’s welcome. I take your indiscretions all in good fun. I sit and listen. I polish plates until they gleam and glisten*

(Y/N) scribbled on the edge of the paper, trying to get the ink working again. The words kept coming and coming.

*I know my love should be celebrated. But you tolerate it.*

Hawks didn’t make it public knowledge but he drank, a lot. He would put on a big goofy grin and make jokes but they would start to get more pointed with every drink that followed. When he returned home from his last mission, he was already wavering and hammered. Keigo grabbed the doorframe to help himself inside and made his way to the couch. He didn’t even acknowledge you, nor the dinner you had set waiting for him.

“Keigo, I made dinner if you’re hungry?” You tried to ignore the foul smell of alcohol coming from him when he walked past you. It bothered you but you didn’t have the strength to fight today. You missed him. Why were you still missing him?

“I’m only home for a few minutes before i’m going back out. I have plans”. You grabbed at your wrist, holding back choice words and jealous thoughts. You didn’t want to scare him off.

“Oh okay, I was hoping to spend time with you today. Maybe later then?”

Keigo didn’t reply, just exhaled loudly. He knew you were being a regular girlfriend, but it bothered him. He was tired of this game they were playing, it had been going on for too long. Hawks sat up when his phone started to buzz on the coffee table. He snagged it up and looked at the message lightning fast and made his way back to the front door.

You shakily reached out towards his back and retracted your hand before he saw. “I love you, Keigo. Please be safe”

Keigo slowly smiled at you and replied with his usual comment. “Love you too, kid. I’ll see ya later”

*While you were out building other worlds, where was I? Where’s that man who’d throw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky. Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life. *

This routine had gone on for months, and you were complicit. It hurt less to know that Hawks wasn’t in love with you anymore and stayed with him than it would be to leave him behind. Keigo was everything to you. He was your protector, your knight, your hero, and he wanted to retire. You were selling yourself for a few pieces of silver and it was finally enough.

*Drawing hearts in the byline. Always taking up too much space or time. You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I*

You were going to run out of paper soon. You hadn’t planned well enough for this sudden rush of passionate communication. Your feelings perfectly wrapped in a bow. You also knew that time was running short, he would need to wake soon for work and you wanted to be gone by then.

*I break free and leave us in ruins? Took this dagger in me and removed it? Gain the weight of you then lose it. Believe me, I could do it.*

Over the last 2 weeks, you had methodically packed up your things from your shared living space and brought it to the new one you started renting in secret. If Keigo could have secrets, so could you. All that remains were the straggling belongings you saved to keep up appearances but they’re all in the suitcase now. It was time.

*If it's all in my head tell me now. Tell me I've got it wrong somehow. I know my love should be celebrated. But you tolerate it*

(Y/N) dropped the pen softly onto the desk, leaving it with the scattered letter, and retreated from the room. She turned the corner towards the front door where her suitcase waited but hesitated. She wanted to say goodbye one last time. (Y/N) padded silently down to the bedroom at the end of the hall and slunk into the room. The tears she had been holding back this whole night came pouring out. Her courage was going to break. She clenched her fists and whispered softly “I love you, Keigo. Please be safe”. (Y/N) backed out of the room and returned to the door.

“Love you too, Kid. I’ll see ya later”. Keigo whispered to the empty room, wide awake. She was gone, and he was alone.

*I sit and watch you*

#hawks x you #hawks x y/n #hurt #no comfort #song lyrics #hawks fanfic

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pro-bee · 4 years

Text

Clean

I have been in a major writing rut for months, so I decided to write something completely different to get me out of my funk! This is for @coffeedepablo and @indestinatus and @delicatefalice and anyone else who’s ever nagged me to just write again. Also, this was inspired by the scene in “Hiatus” where, in the middle of the chaos of Gibbs being blown up, Ziva is transfixed by the rain outside, and today was a rainy day which was finally a perfect excuse to just wrote.

Also, I wrote this today, and haven’t done as much proofreading as I would like, but I decided I had to just post it and forget it!

Rating: G Characters: Ziva David, Tony DiNozzo Pairing: Established Tiva, duh. Type: One-shot fluff. (That’s all I’m good for these days.) Word Count: 1,100 Summary: A rainy day makes way from some quiet contemplation.

Also available on AO3.

The air is heavy, weighed down by the humidity of the passing storm. The rain falls gently in the small yard, creating a sheen over the sidewalk this evening that threatens to become a reflecting pond if it doesn’t let it up soon.

She is curled up in the weathered Adirondack chair on the small deck, her body still, and her gaze set afar, like a lioness surveying her domain. She cradles a mug of tea in both hands, the steam rising to join the mist that surrounds her.

“I was wondering where you’d gone to.”

She is awoken from her reverie by the humor in Tony’s voice behind her, and she turns around to acknowledge his presence. At some point after dinner, he’d scurried off to catch up on some neglected work, and it wasn’t until an hour later that he’d noticed that Ziva had disappeared from her usual reading perch in her favorite armchair in the living room.

“It’s raining cats and dogs out here.”

“Ah, that would make our daughter extremely happy, would it not?”

“Can’t argue with that. Guess we’ll have to settle for the tadpoles for now.”

She offers him the hint of a smile in return, but her her attention is fixed upon the horizon. (The horizon, here, is the hedge separating their yard from the neighbor’s. Not quite the Saharan vista of his imagination.)

Curious, he grabs a chair and joins her under the awning, without saying a word. He follows her lead, basking in the hypnotic melody of drops hitting the roof, the drizzle pulling a curtain around them. Here they are, protected in their cocoon, the rest of the world melting away from them. Truth be told, he’s a little on edge, unused to this lack of conversation in their new home, but he also senses the importance of this moment of solitude. He’s become an expert at biding his time over the years, so he lies in wait for her to make the first move.

(Or not. If she wants to sit here for the rest of their days, immovable like a sphinx surveying the desert, he’ll plant roots right along with her.)

She pulls her legging-clad knees in even closer, taking in a deep breath and sighing, letting go of a lifetime of worries in a single exhalation. He’d give a penny for her thoughts, but he’ll make do with whatever she’s willing to part with tonight. Unsurprisingly, she seems to read his mind.

“I used to love watching the rain when I was a kid.”

She pauses for a second, like she were waiting for a prompt, as would have so often been the case in the old days, but none comes forward. He’s still wary of pushing too hard, too soon, so he’s learned to let her take the lead when it comes to deciphering the code to Ziva David’s meditations.

“It hardly ever rained at home. Not like this, anyway. In the winter, we would have these thunderstorms that seemed to come out of nowhere, and end just as quickly. My sister used to complain about them, because they got in the way of her imaginary stage design outside,” she recalls with a chuckle, “but my mother used to tell her that we needed the water for things to grow. The stormy skies would give way to the shining sun.”

He waits to see if any storm clouds brew behind her eyes.

“How’d she handle that?”

“Usually by tearing up the house and inevitably ending up in what we would now call a ‘time out.’”

It’s his turn to laugh, trying to picture the siblings squabbling a lifetime ago, before they had to confront the demons in their home head-on. (The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, it seems.)

“But not you?”

She shakes her head. “The storms always fascinated me. How you could feel the air change, all of a sudden, and then the sky would just open up. And there was nothing you could do to stop it. Life was always so busy, so regimented, so volatile, but one thing that no one could control was Mother Nature. You could predict and plan all you wanted, but when the storms came, all you could do was take cover and wait it out.”

He has a feeling she isn’t just talking about the weather.

“I would sit by our living room window if we were at home in Tel Aviv, or on our porch if we were in Haifa with my grandparents, and watch it pour down. It drowned out all the other noise, for a little while at least.” The wistfulness in her voice belies the darker memories bubbling beneath the surface.

He watches her in turn, understanding how rare these moments of utter tranquility must have been in her young life. Hell, still were, until recently. Some days, it seems like she’s still struggling to grasp them, even now.

“It’s funny. There is so much fear tied to storms. About their unpredictability, and the floods and destruction left in their wake. They are the only thing that cannot be bent to one’s will. But I never felt that fear. To me, they were… soothing. Like the rain would fall and wipe the slate clean. No matter what was happening, you could start over fresh when it was over. It was like finally being able to breathe.”

Once upon a time, this kind of talk would make him nervous, wonder if she weren’t about to decide her own slate needed to be wiped, all by herself. Yet here they are, together, and he realizes that maybe, that isn’t what this is about at all. That maybe after every storm is a chance for a sunny start, too.

“Sounds like maybe your mom was right.”

“I guess so.”

They sit in silence for a spell, mesmerized by the clatter of the downpour and the motionlessness of the moment. Where once they would have both felt awkward at the silence between them, now they sit in reverence of it, the beauty of what doesn’t need to be said anymore

After a while, though, he comes to realize that this is her quiet confessional, between herself and whatever power is driving her forward, and he feels as though she needs this time alone to commune with her higher power. He gets up, a little less limber than he’d care to admit, and places a gentle kiss on the top of her head, before heading back into the house. Once inside, he watches from the kitchen window as bit by bit the tension seeps from her body, washed away by the deluge and the promise of tomorrow.

Time stands still, and for what feels like hours, all she hears is the patter of the rain, gently surrounding her, the rushing sound eclipsing all of her worries as she welcomes its release. She takes a sip of her tea, and smiles to herself as her old friend envelops her in its comforting embrace.

She thinks that, maybe this time, she is finally clean.

---

My apologies to Taylor Swift for paraphrasing her song “Clean” in that last line.

#tiva fanfiction #my fanfiction #ziva david #tony dinozzo #fluff!#this just got stuck in my head #i've wanted to write something like this for months #and initially had it planned for part of my long fic #but that's not gonna happen anytime soon #and it was raining today #so i figured i better write something today #or i might not ever write again #to be a dramatic bitch :-P

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brianandthemays · 4 years

Text

Paper Rings (Ben Hardy x reader)

Hello!!! First of all: Thank you to @queen-irl-af for beta reading and helping me out!! Love ya! Second! I used the song Paper Rings by Taylor Swift as the main inspiration so give it a listen

Third: There will be a second part coming out soonish!!!!!

and as always: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REBLOG, SEND AN ASK, COMMENT, AND LIKE! YOU’RE YOUR FEEDBACK MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!

Warnings: There is slight smut so 18+ only, please. If I find out you’re underage I will have to block you! Also fluff, angst, and fluff. It’s kinda cute

Word Count: 5.8K

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The house was foggy with smoke. When your friend invited you to this party you didn’t realize that people would basically just be smoking weed the whole time. Now you were stuck sitting in the corner with a drink in your hand, watching as your friend, and ride, climb high enough to cloud nine. You swiped out your phone and groaned when you realized it was dead. Taking the final sip of your drink you stood to pour yourself another one. You grabbed a drink and started to pour when you glanced outside. There was a guy out there, smoking what looked like a cigarette and just looking up at the sky. You grabbed your drink and walked towards him. When you opened the door, he glanced back at you nodding in acknowledgment. You shot him a smile and wrapped your arms around yourself, it was colder than you’d thought I’d be.

“Cold in’nit,” he commented, bringing his cigarette to his mouth.

“Yeah.” You shivered and glanced up at the sky. “Moon looks nice.”

He shrugged and blew out some smoke. You gave him a sideways glance before walking over to one of the patio chairs to sit down. The smoke from his cigarette was nauseating but not as bad as the pungent smell of the weed inside. You took a moment to take him in. Up close you could tell he was quite attractive. His eyes were a unique color of green and he had blonde hair with a few curls in it. You could tell he was fit under his clothes and you felt drawn to him.

“Not your scene?” he asked, nodding inside. You glanced up at him, breaking out of your observation.

You shook your head. “Smoking anything usually makes me sick.”

“Go home,” he suggested.

“My ride is high as a kite right now,” you explained with a chuckle. “So, I guess I’m stuck here.” He put out his cigarette and threw it in the trashcan outside. “What about you?”

“My vice is cigarettes. I’ll get high every now and then but not nearly as often,” he replied. “I’m Ben Jones by the way.”

You looked up at him; he was holding out his hand to you, so you took it. “(Y/N).”

His hand was slightly calloused and brushed your hand the right way, sending a shock down your arm. You swallowed thickly looked at his emerald eyes. He let go and cleared his throat.

“I’m friends with Rog,” he explained. “My flatmate first year.”

“Cheryl’s my friend,” you offered. “I think she’s got a thing for Rog.”

“Is she the chick with blonde highlights?” he questioned looking through the glass door.

You furrowed your eyebrows standing up to stand next to him. There in Roger’s lap was Cheryl practically eating his face off. His hand was on her breast as they swallowed each other and you groaned, officially coming to terms with your fate.

“That’s her,” you conceded, putting your face in your hands. He laughed and brought a hand to your shoulder in comfort. The shock was back, sending electricity down your back. You looked over at him, a smile on your lips and a lip between your teeth. He licked his lips and smirked at you. Boy, the smirk was really doing something to you. He turned towards you, shortening the distance between the two o fup.

“You live far?” he murmured, his breath fanning across your face.Your heart was pounding as you shook your head, staring up at him through your eyelashes and he continued. “Maybe I can take you home.”

You raised an eyebrow and he copied, as if challenging you to resist him. Of course, how could you say no to the magnetic pull that was taking force on you?

“Please,” you answered, your own playful smirk on your face. “Take me home.”

His smirk turned into a smile and he reached won to grab your hand. You gasped and almost spilt your drink as he tugged you inside.

“Slow down!” you shouted, trying not to laugh.

“Shit, sorry,” he apologized, coming to a stop.

You gulped down the rest of your drink and threw your cup onto the counter. “Okay, let’s go.”

The two of you run out of the house to his car. The second you shut your door you reach over and grab his shirt bringing him to your lips. He brought his hand to the back of your head, roughly smashing you further into him. You bit his bottom lip and pulled back slightly.

“Take me home.”

The second you got to his house, he had you against the wall. His lips touching every inch of exposed skin. Every kiss left fire in it’s wake and you felt like you would burn down. He pulled back enough to pull your shirt over your head but then immediately latched his lips back to your throat. His hands reached behind your back and unclasped your bra, letting it fall down your arms to the floor.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” He sighed, pulling back to look at you. You felt so adored under his gaze; the way he looked at you was so adoring it made your breath catch in your throat.

He brought his lips down to your chest, sucking one of your nipples into his mouth. You let a moan out of your mouth tangling your fingers in his hair. You found you hips bucking forward, looking for some kind of friction. Ben slotted a leg between yours allowing you to grind against his thigh as he suckled on your breast. He moved his lips right above your nipples and suck a mark into your skin, causing you to whimper. He pressed one more kiss to it before moving up to kiss your lips again.

“Please just fuck me,” you groaned against his lips.

He smirked and pulled you away from the wall. “That can be arranged.”

The rest of the night was a blur of pleasure. But the whole time, it felt so different from your other hookups. He was so loving and delicate. Every step of the way making sure you were okay and comfortable. When it was done, he made sure to clean up and take care of you before collapsing next to you. You laid awake starring at the ceiling, breathless. Who was this guy? Ben… Ben who? You needed to get up and charge your phone so you could get out of here.

You glanced over at the man next to you satisfied that he was truly asleep before getting up and wandering around the room. Next to his bed you found and out lit with a plug in it and plugged your phone in. He mumbled in his sleep on the bed but didn’t stir as you waited for your phone to turn back on. Eventually, it lit up in the dark and you glanced over at Ben to make sure he didn’t wake up. So far you were in the clear. Once your phone loaded up, you went to google maps to see how far your house was. It wasn’t far, the lyft wouldn’t be too much.

The closest lyft was 10 minutes away, so you had some time. Now, who was this guy? He said his name was Ben… but Ben what? You looked over at him to make sure he was still passed out before crawling to look at his wallet. Broke, not that you were going to take his money. There was his ID. Ben Jones. Ben Jones was the name of the incredibly attractive man snoring loudly on the bed next to you.

Then your phone dinged, letting you know your lyft was close. You felt kinda bad, but you couldn’t stay there. Instead, you wrote a note. Grabbing a pen from his kitchen you scribbled a note on a piece of paper.

Thanks for the great night, maybe see you around.

X (Y/N)

The next morning, you woke up with a headache. You groaned and looked over at the clock; it was noon. You furrowed your eyebrows and put a hand to your forehead. Then in through the door came Cheryl.

“Where the fuck were you last night?” she screeched, glaring at you.

“Shut up! Shut up!” you grumbled at her, your head pounding.

She came over to the side of the bed and sat down.

“You ditched me!” she continued loudly. You rolled over and put your pillow on your head to block her out. “Where did you go?”

Then it came back to you. Going outside, leaving with that guy, oh my god. Ben. Ben Jones. The amazingly attractive man you had sex with last night. You sat up and looked over at Cheryl.

“What?”

“What do you know about Ben Jones?” you asked hesitantly.

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped.

“You didn’t…” she gasped. You buried your face in your hands and she squealed causing you to cringe again. “Ben Jones? As in rugby playing actor Ben Jones?” You reached over and grabbed your phone, ow at 100%, you opened Instagram. “I almost got with Roger, but he forgot my name. Called me Charlotte or something.”

She kept talking but you tuned her out, looking up “Ben Jones” on Instagram. He popped up quickly, pictures of him playing rugby and ads for shows he was in littered his feed. He was, without a doubt, quite attractive. But there was also something childish in his eyes. A goofy look in his smile. You found yourself smiling to yourself.

“Are you even listening to me?” Cheryl humphed. You mumbled an apology before throwing off the covers and getting out of bed. “Where are you going?”

“We’re out of milk!” you called back to her. Really you just had to get out of the house. You had to get some fresh air and call Joe.

“If you’re going to the store, can you get some cheese too? I need to make my quiche!”

You headed out into the London air. The first thing you did was call Joe. Joe had been your friend since you were little. Your best friend to be exact.

“Joe!” you shouted when he answered.

“Dear God, don’t shout into the phone,” he retorted. “What’s going on?”

You told him everything. The party and everything that happened after. The intimate moments with Ben that were delicate and careful. The way his touch sent flames down your spine. Finding out he was a rugby player and, most importantly, how his stupid goofy smile wouldn’t leave your mind.

“Damn, you’ve been in London for one semester and you’re already fitting in!” he commented.

“Shut up, totally not the right thing to be focusing on right now!” you hissed. “The problem is I left this morning and now I don’t have any way to find him.”

“Did you—”

“Yes, I stalked him on the internet,” you interrupted. “He’s a certified hottie.”

“Well chica, maybe message him,” Joe suggested.

You cringed, walking into the supermarket. “Not exactly subtle, Joe.”

Joe scoffed over the phone and you made your way to the cheese aisle. Cheryl’s cheese choices were very specific and had to be a certain brand or she’d make you go back, and that was not your ideal day.

“Are you going for subtly?” he asked.

You grunted, grabbing the cheese you know she likes before heading to the dairy section. As you turned the corner, and froze, turning right back into the aisle.

“Joe, omigod, he’s right there,” you growled into the phone. “what do I do?”

Joe laughed loudly and you frowned. “Okay, don’t worry, just don’t give him a cold shoulder, that’ll make your situation even worse. Maybe say something, did he see you?”

You peaked around the corner again and he was still looking at some bottles of wine. Lord, his eyes were almost as green as the wine bottles. You pulled back into the aisle, smiling at an elderly woman as she walked back.

“I don’t think so,” you told him.

“Okay here’s what you’re gonna do,” Joe started. “You’re gonna walk up to him and casually tell him that you want him to wreck you every night for the rest of your life.”

“JOE!” you whisper shouted.

“Am I wrong?” he defended. “Now go and call me back later.”

Then he hung up and you cursed under your breath. Then you sucked a large breath and walk out of the aisle. You approached him and he looked up. His eyes flashed with recognition, and a smirk started to come over his lips. Flashes of the night before hitting you hard. His lips on your chest, on your stomach, on your thighs, on your... oh lord. And you panicked. And instead of walking towards him, you walked right past him, feeling his eyes follow you past him. You mentally slapped your forehead and turned around, but he was gone.

“Fuck.”

You didn’t see him again for a few weeks, maybe a month when Cheryl invited you to another party. You were hesitant to go, not wanting a repeat of last time but she wore you down. And again you found yourself standing by yourself in a corner. You took out your phone and you swore it was déjà vu. Your damn phone was almost dead, again.

“You need a charger?” a deep voice behind offered. You turned and saw him, and those deep eyes. You nodded, suddenly finding your voice gone. “Ah, so you do remember me.”

You scrunched your mouth into a smile. “Ben… right.”

“That’s right, (Y/N),” he chuckled. The way he said your name sent a shiver down your back. “Thought you might’ve been too drunk to remember.”

You frowned, that was rude. “I had only had one drink,” You defended.

“Oh, was that rude?” He raised his eyebrows, a playful look in his eyes. “I was confused because I saw you in the supermarket, the next day. And you gave me a cold shoulder.”

Fuck. He had you on a line and you took the bait. He held out a charger to you and you took it, deliberately brushing your fingers against his, trying not to show the effect he was having on you. You turned from him and started searching for a plug.

“Nothing to say to that?” he prompted, hoping to reel you in.

“What can I say?” you returned over your shoulder. “Sorry I hurt your feelings.”

He let out a huff of air, smiling at you. Two could play at this game. The only question was who would cave first. But who knew if he’d been thinking about you like you’d been thinking about him? All you could do was hope and pray you didn’t make a fool out of yourself again. You finally found a plug and got your phone charging before turning back to Ben, who had been following you around.

“What brings you back out to the party?” he asks, leaning against the wall.

You smiled coyly at him. “Something in air, I guess. And you?”

“Call it intuition,” he replied, a smirk pasted on his face.

God you wanted him. You wanted to feel the same passion you had last time. You wanted to feel his hands roam your body, sending flames spiraling around your body. That couldn’t have been the same feeling you had every time you hooked up with someone. But you couldn’t let it be that easy no matter how much you wanted it. And you could feel his want too, it was practically radiating off of him. But the longer you made him wait, the better it would feel.

“Wow, great minds… huh,” you quipped.

“Suppose so,” he answered.

There was silence between you. An eye game. His eyes were darting between your eyes and your lips and your body. Yours stayed put on his eyes, watching him as he looked you over. God you wanted him. His lips were so perfect and you wanted to feel them all over your body.

“So, do you want to…” He motioned with his hand towards the door. You had him right where you wanted him, and you knew what you had to do, no matter how much your body was telling you to do the opposite.

“Actually, no… I don’t think so,” you replied simply.

His eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Oh?”

“Yeah, I promised Cheryl that I wouldn’t leave this time,” you explained, the smirk not leaving your face.

“I see… I see…” He raised his hands in submission. And though you could tell he was trying to act nonchalant, there was a hint of disappointment behind his eyes. That made you hesitant but you couldn’t go back now. “Well, I guess I’ll head out then, see you around?”

“Maybe,” you lipped, smiling at him.

“I like maybe…” His green eyes flickered with playfulness, the disappointment leaving slightly. “But let me tell you, I will see you again.”

And with that he was gone, and the second he was, you took a breath for the first time in, what felt like, an hour. It took everything you had not to let him have you again, but you made it. You hoped that he would keep up on his promise and you would see him soon, but you didn’t see him for another month.

You were studying for winter finals at the library. It had been a frustrating study session. You’d been in there all afternoon and still couldn’t wrap your head around the subject. Across from you the chair pulled out and someone sat down. At first you didn’t pay much attention to them but then they slide a muffin and a steamy drink across the table to you. You looked up and it was Ben. Your eyes widened and he smirked.

“Hi,” you greeted, giving him a small wave.

“Hey, love, how are you?” he asked, looking down at your book then up at you.

You frowned, pushing the book away. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

He gave you a sympathetic smile before leaning back in his chair. You were more than surprised to see him there. It realized you went to the same school as him, but you’d never run into him before. And he’d spent his money on you. You pulled the drink and muffin towards yourself.

“It’s hot chocolate and a chocolate chip muffin,” he told you. “Chocolate always helps me relax so I thought—”

“No, Ben it’s great, thank you so much,” you replied genuinely.

“I also heard orgasms help with stress.”

You almost spit out your sip of hot chocolate, getting some drops of your drinks on your notes. You sputtered, trying to think of a reply, desperately cleaning your notes up. But when you looked back up at him he was laughing heartily at you.

“I’m joking, love,” he chuckled. “Mainly… unless you want to…”

“Not at the moment,” you growled, a hint of amusement making its way into your voice. “But ask me tomorrow.”

He smiled, his stupid dorky smile when he got something he wanted. He leaned on his forearms, bringing himself closer to you. You continued to look at him as you brought the hot chocolate back to your mouth. You slowly bring your book back to yourself trying to subtly go back to studying.

“Oh, don’t mind me, I’ll just be here,” he told you, motioning for you to continue studying.

You narrowed your eyes at him, slightly confused as to why he would just want to sit there and watch you study but he looked perfectly happy. So, you continued studying; picking at your muffin and flipping through the pages. Suddenly, things were starting to make sense and you realized, Ben’s presence was calming. He just sat there scrolling on his phone, looking up at you every now and then. But still, he was like a white noise, keeping you focused. Eventually, you felt content with your studying and closed your book.

“So, what can I do to pay you back for the sustenance?” you asked, grabbing you back to pull out your purse.

“Be my date.” He answered almost immediately. “To Roger’s party this weekend I mean.” Your mouth dropped and you found yourself at a loss for words. “I mean, please? I feel like we always end up together anyway.”

You found yourself in a staring contest with him. You couldn’t deny the want you felt whenever you were around him. It felt like a magnet pulling you towards him and you wanted to be on his arm the whole night. Laughing with him, drinking with him, falling asleep on his arm. So, what was the harm? He was asking you.

“Okay.”

The day of the party came a lot quicker than you expected. Your finals were over, your bags were packed and all you had left was this party. Not that you weren’t excited to go, you always loved a party and now you had Ben as your so-called ‘date’, so what could go wrong. You just wore some jeans and a nice sweater you had. Ben was at your apartment at 7 ready to take you to Roger’s house.

“Wow, you look great,” he complimented you. You felt your cheeks heat up and you turned around to avoid letting him see. “Will Cheryl be there?”

“No, she’s already headed home for the winter. Left last night,” you informed him. This left the house empty in the case that something may happen with you and Ben. You planned this, and Cheryl was ecstatic.

“Oh, so house is empty?” he asked.

“Yup.”

“Ah.”

Silence. Then he held out his hand to you and you took it. He held you close as you walked through the London night. It was freezing. Snow covered the ground from an earlier flurry and the roads were barren save for ice. Ben was bundled up nicely while you found your sweater failing you, causing you to shiver in the cold.

“Oh, love,” he chuckled, pulling his jacket off his shoulders to drape over your shoulders. You thanked him softly, pulling the jacket closer around yourself. It smelt good. Like warmth with an undertone of cigarettes. It smelt like him.

Not much later you arrived at Roger’s house. Ben dragged you inside, waving and high fiving people along the way, but keeping his hand in yours the whole time. Eventually, you found your way to a free couch where Ben dropped you off.

“You want a drink?” he asked, standing in front of you.

“Sure,” you replied. He smiled at you and walked off to find you a drink. You felt happy. It was weird to think that a guy you hooked up with once a few months ago was now playing a game of cat and mouse with you. But you were ready to be done playing. And maybe tonight you’d be lucky.

A few other kids from school came and sat around you, smiling politely. You returned the smile and shifting to find a comfortable position.

“So, you’re here with Ben?” one of them asked. It was one of the boys. You just nodded. “He’s dope.”

“What’s your name?” a girl to your left asked.

“(Y/N),” you told her. She seemed nice enough, but you still wished Ben were nearby.

“Oh, you’re Cheryl’s roommate, right?” she exclaimed

You nodded again. “Yeah!”

Then Ben returned, carrying two drinks. He hoped over the couch, sliding his arm around you as he sat down.

“Hey Rach! How are you,” he asked politely, handing you your drink. You moved into his side more and you didn’t see it, but that made him smile.

“I’m good! Stephen and I were just introducing yourself to your date.” She gave you a look, moving her shoulder in a cheeky fashion.

“Is Kelvin here?” Ben asked.

She shook her head no, letting Stephen answer. “He still has a final tomorrow morning.”

“Sucks to suck I guess,” Ben joked, causing them to laugh. You smiled, watching their interaction. He was so natural with other people. Everyone felt at ease around him and you could understand why. Rachel and Stephen took their leave of you, leaving you and Ben sitting on the couch together. He looked down at you as you looked around the party.

“You look lost, love,” he told you.

“Sorry, I’ve just never been in the thick of a party before,” you admitted. “I’m usually with Cheryl and she usually abandons me, and I end up—”

“In the backyard with a stranger?” he finished; his eyes playful.

“Exactly,” you answered.

He laughed, reverberating in his chest and you could feel it. You let a blush come over your face as he took a sip of his drink. He hummed, letting you know he had something he wanted to say.

“What do you do?” he asked.

“Huh?”

“Like, other than come to parties, study and go to the supermarket, I don’t really know anything about you,” he pointed out.

“Oh, uh… I mean I’m a Journalism major with a minor in Film and Art,” you told him. “I’m from the States… New York actually. That’s where my friend Joe lives…” He nodded for you to continue. “Um… I grew up in Albany, which is the capital of New York. But my family moved to the city after my brother moved out?

“How old is your brother?” he asked.

“25 now. He’s an Engineer. Runs some engineering firm in Philadelphia,” you explained. “He’s very smart. Smarter than I am.”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Ben interrupted.

“It’s just the truth.” You shrugged. “It’s fine. But I had to get away from my parents. Who have no trouble telling me how much better he is than me.” You blushed again. “Sorry, that was too much info.”

“No, it wasn’t, you can keep telling me everything,” Ben encouraged.

You looked at him, no hint of insincerity. And you did want to tell him everything. But just as you were, Roger rushed into the room.

“EVERYONE IN THE POOL!” he shouted before racing outside.

“He’s joking, right? Its freezing outside,” you cried. But as you were talking, Ben pulled you up and started dragging you outside. “No! BEN NO!

He laughed and let go walking back towards the pool. “Let go, love. Let’s live a little tonight!”

And with that, he slipped off his sweater, and you struggled not to let your eyes bug out. He tucked his feet into a cannonball landing with a splash. You watched with wide eyes as he reemerged, shouting at the cold, but motioned for you to join him. You turned away, closing your eyes, silently battling yourself. But then you turned back around and saw him again. Him and his silly smile and his green eyes. And you couldn’t help yourself. Off you ran. And with a great jump, you splashed in after him. As soon as you hit the cold, you felt your whole body freeze up. Your clothes clung to your body and you felt the warmth leaving you.

You breached the surface, gasping for breath. “Oh my God!” You shouted, looking for something to grab onto; to provide warmth.

“Love, love, calm down, c’mere.” Ben’s voice washed over you and you found yourself grabbing onto him. He wrapped you up in his arms, pulling you into his chest. His chest wasn’t much warmer, but you still felt yourself heating up. More people came crashing into the pool, but you found yourself unable to see them. Just Ben and his eyes. He put his chin on top of your head, holding you tightly, rubbing his hands up and down your arms.

“This isn’t safe,” you chattered, your teeth shaking. Ben just laughed and reached down to grab your legs, carrying you to the side of the pool. He sat you down on the top step resting his hands on either side of your hips.

“I’ll let you borrow my sweater,” he told you. You kept your arms wrapped around his neck, keeping him close to you. You shivered, your whole body shaking. “Oh, love, you’re turning blue.”

You glared at him, moving to rest your head on his chest. His heartbeat was strong and steady, allowing you to focus on something other than the cold. He pulled you back slightly and grabbed your hand, starting to leave the pool.

“Let’s get you warmed up, yeah?” he murmured, pulling you up and out of the water. He picked up his sweater and found you a towel, pulling it around your arms.

Once you were dried off, you found yourself in Ben’s white sweater sitting in a hallway across from Ben. He still had a towel around his bare body, his sweater currently being used by yourself.

“Thank you, Ben,” you said, smiling. “Tonight, has been surprisingly fun.”

“Oh, the fun is just beginning,” he teased, poking your toe with his. The music in the main room was dully playing in the background. You blushed, looking down into your lap. “What’s wrong, love?”

You looked up at him, his green eyes shining with concern. And you really couldn’t take it anymore. You crawled towards him on all fours, his eyes widening with surprise, you settled yourself on his thighs, straddling his waist. He hands came to rest on your hips, cocking his head. It was a question and he wanted you to answer first. To let him know this was okay. So, you leaned in and pressed your lips to his. This kiss was different from the frantic, horny kiss that you had in the car the first time you met him. This was slower, more languid than before. His lips moved slowly against yours, one of his hands coming up to push back some of your hair.

You slide your hands up his chest, leaning into him more. You moaned when he started to move his lips down your jaw, sucking a mark into the space right behind your ear. You brought your hands up to tangle in his hair, tugging slightly, eliciting a moan from him. You felt your breathing start to pick up and Ben moved his hands under your sweater. You moved your hands down to pull them up to your bra, giving him the permission he needed. But he still pulled back and looked at you.

“Are you sure this is okay?” he assured. His eyes were blown open and his lips were swollen. But he was still checking on you.

“Yes.”

And he went back in, this time the lust returned. It was heated and full of passion. He pulled your breasts out of your bra, massaging them slowly. You threw your head back, whimpering and panting heavily. Ben latched his lips to your collar, now exposed to him. The feeling of his thumbs brushing over your tits and his fingers digging into the flesh, along with his lips suck and nipping at the most sensitive areas on your neck left you weak. You let yourself go all but limp in his arms, letting him do what he wanted, letting the amazing feelings wash over you.

Soon, you found yourself in the same place you were two months ago. Laying in bed, now your bed, next to Ben. But this time you weren’t hurried to leave. Ben was lying next to you, one hand behind his head the other holding his phone. You were on your side, watching him, eyes furrowed in thought.

“What?” Ben asked, not looking over at you.

“Huh?”

“You’re looking at me.”

“Oh, I um…”

“(Y/N).” He put down his phone a looked over at you.

You looked down, tracing your finger in your sheets. “You didn’t…” You sighed, feeling stupid. “You didn’t just ask me to Roger’s party cause you wanted to have sex with me, right?”

He furrowed his eyebrows and turned on his side. “I mean, that was part of it.” And with that you felt your heart breaking a little. Fuck. He didn’t actually like you. He just wanted to fuck you. “But not all of it. Actually, most of it is because I couldn’t get you out of my mind.” Your mouth parted slightly. “Your face, your voice, your laugh, for some reason, you were stuck. And then I saw you the next day and you… ya know.”

You let out an exasperated sigh, covering your face with your hand.

“I’m an idiot, I hope you know that,” you told him, peaking through one of your fingers. “I saw you and wanted to talk to you but I panicked!”

He chuckled and shook his head. “It’s okay, I wasn’t going to let you get away.” He continued. “But I knew I wanted to see you again. And I saw you at that other party. Then I kinda was just looking for sex… but I was hoping you’d stay that time, and I’d make you breakfast and get to know you.” He blushed. “But you had Cheryl, so I knew I had to get you to come with me. As my date, somewhere. “So when Rog told me about this party, I knew I had to take you and the rest is history.” He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you to lay down on his chest.

You snuggled into his side, looping your leg with his. “Well, maybe we can make breakfast together tomorrow morning.”

“You won’t leave me again?” he asked, looking down at you.

You crawled up to him and connected your lips in a soft, heartfelt kiss. When you pulled back, Ben kept his eyes closed, a smile gracing his features.

“Never.”

______________________________________________

Tagging people I think would enjoy/people I’d like to read: @redspecialty @sweet-ladyy @strangeandwonderfulconcepts @leah-halliwell92 @angiefangirlworld-2

#Ben Hardy #Ben Hardy x reader #Ben Hardy imagine #song fic #Taylor Swift #paper rings

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pappydaddy · 4 years

Text

Part Two: Mr. Brightside

A/N: Here’s Part Two! I don’t know when Part Three will be out, but I’m sure it’ll be out soon, I’m almost done the part and the songs for it! Check out the playlist!! If anyone wants to make an Apple Music version, just DM me!

PLEASE TAKE A SECOND TO LOOK AT MY PINNED POST, SIGN THE PETITION AND REBLOG IT IF YOU CAN!!

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Henderson!OC

Fandom: Stranger Things

Warnings: Guns, violence, life-threatening situation, aggressive talk about Russians (evil Russians, not all Russians), belittlement, feelings of inferiority, feelings of weakness, deprecation images of oneself, SPOILERS!!!

I Wanna Be Yours Playlist (Spotify)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three - Coming Soon

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation

- not my gif -

Steve hid behind the plastic plant in the middle of the food court, the binoculars pressed around his eyes, surely leaving a noticeable red ring around his eyes. He was supposed to be looking for the evil Russians that the boy crouched beside him keeps rattling off about, but he couldn’t stop watching them. He really did try to pull his focus away from the two teens standing way too close, but his eyes just pulled towards them like a magnet. “See anything?” Dustin asked, poking his head up over the plant. The two stood out like sore thumbs, proving that they were shit at stake-outs.

“Uh, I guess I don’t totally know what I’m looking for.” Steve admitted, pulling his eyes away from the couple to scan over the other people occupying the mall. His mouth hung open, his eyes drifting back up to the second floor where Ophelia and Brett stood, leaning against the railing.

“Evil Russians.” Dustin told him as if it were simple.

“Yeah, exactly,” Steve exclaimed, not even trying to pull his eyes from Ophelia as she laughed. “I don’t know what an evil Russian looks like.” Steve muttered, his binoculars following Ophelia and Brett as they walked along the second floor.

“Tall? Blond? Not smiling,” Dustin listed off suggestively. Steve only hummed, squinting into the binoculars, watching as Ophelia bent down to grab a drink of water from the water fountain, paying attention to how Brett snuck a look at her butt, her dress riding up dangerously. His blood started to boil at the sight of him shamelessly eyeing her like a piece of meat. “Also, look for earpieces, camo, duffle bags, that sort of thing.” Dustin looked over at him as he hummed along, not paying attention.

“Right, okay, duffle bags,” Steve repeated, following the pair as they walked again. If looks could kill, Brett’s arm (which was wound around Ophelia’s waist) would have been killed brutally. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” Steve muttered in disbelief when Brett leaned down to whisper something in Ophelia’s ear making her pull away, a blush darkening her cheeks as she giggled and hit his chest playfully. The smirk Brett wore made Steve want to knock his lights out. It was a smirk that told Steve his true intentions. He just wanted to get in her pants and he thinks he’s almost there.

“What?” Dustin asked, trying to follow the line of the binoculars to see what Steve saw, thinking he saw a Russian.

“Your sister,” Steve told him as if it was obvious. “I have no idea why she would even think about going out with a guy like Brett Morris. She can do so much better than that weasel, god-” He ranted, his top lip curling into a snarl at the sight of him pressing a kiss to her cheek, the blush coating her delicate cheeks deepening. “He’s a sleaze.” Steve grunted, looking at the tall hockey player in disgust. Dustin’s eyes snapped towards his sister, watching Brett interact with her.

“I don’t know, I don’t see anything wrong with it, they’re on a first date and he’s being nice?” Dustin shrugged, not seeing what Steve was all worked up about. Steve pulled his eyes from the binoculars, keeping them in place so he didn’t lose the couple.

“Nice? You see nothing wrong with it,” Steve asked, bewildered. “Dude! That’s your sister and he’s smirking like he’s about to bang her!” Steve nearly cried out. Dustin’s lips turned down in a disgusted frown as he fought back a gag before turning his attention back to his sister and her date who made their way down the escalators, still in each other’s arms.

Dustin watched Brett smile down at Ophelia as she gazed at all the sights, seeing what was going on. He shrugged, looking back at Steve who watched the same scene with a snarl. “Dude, he’s smiling like he likes her,” He shook his head at the older boy. “Why do you care anyway? Do you like her?” Steve pulled away from the binoculars again, furrowing his brow at the younger Henderson. Dustin twitched an eyebrow at Steve, waiting for an answer.

“I don’t like her,” He denied, his voice filtering almost like it knew something he didn’t. Of course he didn’t like Ophelia. Those were old feelings. She’s his best friend’s sister. The girl who fought demogorgons, demodogs and Billy Hargrove alongside him. The girl who always comes in and brightens his day with her smile and laugh. The girl with bright eyes that seemed to swirl with stars. She was the girl who he felt a strong need to protect, to shield away from the world that was hell-bent to destroy such a beautiful creature. The girl who kissed him in grade nine during a game of spin the bottle. Steve certainly did not like Ophelia Henderson and her certainly didn’t find himself thinking back to that quick little peck of the lips at Hannah Hanson’s party. He scoffed, looking back through the binoculars and letting panic settle into him. “Shit! Where’d they go-” He was cut off by someone snatching the binoculars away.

Both Dustin and Steve jumped, looking up at a fuming Ophelia; the binoculars grasped in her hand. Her body nearly shook with the anger coursing through her. “What are you two mouthbreathers doing? Spying on my date?” She asked, her fingers wrapped around the binoculars turning white from her grasp. Steve’s lips parted, his brown eyes looking up at her. It wasn’t like he set off to spy on her date, it just kinda happened. Dustin grabbed the binoculars back from his sister, making the angry girl shift her eyes to him.

“No-” Dustin snapped, holding the binoculars to his chest. “We were looking for evil Russians, Steve is just a horrible spy.” He told her, bringing the binoculars up to his eyes. Steve whined at the younger boy’s comment, but otherwise remained silent.

“Evil Russians? Why would you be looking for evil Russians in the food court?” Ophelia turned her nose up, looking at her brother as if he were crazy. Dustin sighed, pulling the binoculars from his eyes to give her a look. Steve furrowed his brow at her until he remembered that she had left them last night before they discovered the Russian transmission came from the mall. Heat bubbled in his chest, remembering why she had left them. His jaw clenched, his brown eyes hardening on the wall across from him, hoping that his stare could make it crumble.

“The Russians aren’t in Russia, music from the Indiana Flyer was heard in the background of the recording, blah blah blah, there you’re all caught up-” Dustin grumbled, peering through the binoculars again, leaning forward as he looked at each person mulling around suspiciously. Ophelia opened her mouth to retort, but Dustin cut her off. “Now go back to your date so that I can actually spy - unlike somebody.” Dustin shot the last part towards the older boy who sat there, stewing in his anger.

With a groan and a roll of her eyes, Ophelia turned on her heels and strutted back towards Brett who now held a pretzel and a drink in his hands. Steve watched as he greeted her with a smile, handing her the drink. His now free hand slipped along the small of her back as he guided her towards one of the empty seats. “Ugh, he doesn’t need to be so handsy.” Steve grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest, his lips pouting.

“Oh my god, I don’t get why you can’t just see it, are you really that blind?” Dustin asked Steve, not taking his eyes from the binoculars. Steve looked over at the busy-haired pre-teen.

“See what?” Steve snapped, trying his hardest not to look over at Ophelia again, just knowing he would be greeted by the sickening sight of her giggling for another guy. Just the thought of another guy making her laugh like Steve does made his stomach churn. He felt like he was standing out in a field as the world around him turned cold, the blue skies swirling into a dark gray - just seconds before the cold rain poured down on top of him.

“See how you actually feel about Leah, you Dipshit,” Dustin exclaimed, growing tired of Steve’s blindness. “Everything you’re seeing with Brett being an ass is all in your thick head, fueled by your jealousy!” Dustin told him. Sure, Dustin hadn’t noticed the crush that his friend harboured for his sister, but the second that Ophelia told them about her date, Steve had changed. It had become obvious to Dustin. All the time Steve just suddenly dropped by the Henderson household with Ophelia’s favourite movies in his hands, the fact that Steve was always parked by their curb in the mornings to drive them to school.

“I feel like she’s a friend, you Dipshit,” Steve argued back, his top lip rolling up into a sneer at Dustin's suggestion. The fact that everything in his life had suddenly become a downcast blue since Brett had asked Ophelia on a date didn’t mean he liked her. Just because he felt like his heart had been struck with a hammer does not mean he liked her. “And I am not jealous, I am quite positive if I do say so myself.” Steve liked to view himself as Mr. Sunshine. Full of positive light and energy. Though, he couldn’t shake the images of them after their date. Brett’s fingers trailing along the curve of Ophelia’s side as their lips mashed together. The hockey player’s fingers slipping under her skirt, running along her thighs. The mental image hurt him so much he could have punched a wall.

“Come on Steve! You like her, why else would you be so obsessed over her going on a date with Brett?” Dustin pointed out. Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes. Why was he even fighting with Dustin on this? Dustin was a kid, he doesn’t understand the complicated world of love. He doesn’t know the arch of a heart, he doesn’t know the pining and the angst. He has no idea what he was talking about.

“Because Brett Morris is a dirty sleezeball and Ophelia shouldn’t be on a date with him!” Steve told him, his arms moving frantically even though he knew Dustin wasn’t going to pull his eyes away from the binoculars to watch him.

“Sure,” Dustin hummed, finally pulling away from the binoculars far enough to turn his head to look at Steve. “And the fact that you can only refer to Brett as Brett Morris has nothing to do with jealousy?” Dustin posed the question. Robin and Dustin all refer to him as just Brett in a nice, casual tone, but Steve always spat his first and last name as if it was venom he had just ingested, his face always screwing up as if he had just referenced his arch nemesis.

“I just don’t like him, I know his type.” Steve avoided, his head swirling from Dustin’s interrogation. Why did he not like Brett? Steve never really talked to him. Sure they were both popular, but Steve hung close to the basketball crowd while Brett spread out a little more within the high school groups. Brett and Ophelia ran in the same crowd, being involved with multiple organizations in school. Without an explanation, Steve had developed a hatred for the tall hockey player from the first time he saw him and Ophelia talking in the school hallway as they stood at her locker, why back when Nancy was in the picture.

“You like her and if you don’t figure that you soon, you’re going to have to figure out how to forget her because she’s not going to wait around for you.” Dustin shrugged, telling him how it is. Of course he knew how his sister felt, he figured out how to pick the lock on her journal two years ago. He knew everything about her, and some of it, he didn’t want to know.

“I don’t like your sister dude!” Steve gave up trying to make excuses, knowing that Dustin will just mess with his head someway, making him question if he actually did like Ophelia.

“Yes, you do.” Dustin stated pointblank.

“No.” Steve denied again. Dustin shook his head, peering through the binoculars once again.

“Yes-” Dustin sang back, pleased with knowing that he was right once again.

“No-”

“You do!” Dustin shot back. Steve glared at the younger boy.

“She’s not my type, okay? She’s too nice, too sweet, too pretty - too perfect.” Steve trailed off towards the end, not being able to find the correct reason why she wasn’t his type. When he was King Steve, he was positive that Carol and Tommy wouldn’t have any problem listing reasons why she wasn’t his type, but now he wasn’t sure. She was gorgeous, funny, insanely smart and caring. She was everyone’s type.

“What’s your type again? Girls who don’t like you?” Dustin perked an eyebrow at him when he pulled away from the binoculars once again. Steve shot him a sharp glare for the comment. Steve wasn’t sure what his type was in all honesty, but he was sure that Ophelia wasn’t it.

“Thank you,” Steve forced the corner of his lips up in a sarcastic smile before they dropped back down into a straight line. “For your information, Ophelia is still in school and that’ll be weird for me to date someone who is still in high school and she-she is nice to the weird-o’s like Robin. She’s on the prom committee and homecoming committee, and she likes hockey players apparently - hockey players are the bottom of the sports food chain.” Steve ranted, searching his mind for his next point.

Dustin looked at him once again, rolling his eyes at his reasons. “Now that you’re out of high school, which means that you’re technically an adult, don’t you think it’s time to move on from primitive constructs such as popularity - which Ophelia is popular.” Dustin suggested, trying to get Steve to see the world that’s outside of all the worrying about fitting in.

“Oh, primitive constructs? That some stupid shit you learned at Camp Know-” He paused, shaking his head, trying to come up with the name of the camp Dustin had went to this summer. “Nothing?” He settled for an insult, his defence mechanism starting up.

“Camp Know Where, actually. And no, it’s shit I learned from life,” Dustin told him. Nerds, with all that they have to put up with from the popular people, have learned things. They’ve learned that you shouldn’t focus on making other people see you as cool, instead you should focus on making yourself happy. Steve hummed, looking away from Dustin to scan over the people walking around. “Instead of dating somebody you think’s gonna make you cooler, why not date someone you actually enjoy being around,” Dustin suggested. Steve blinked, thinking about it. He did like being around Ophelia. She made his day brighter and just the thought of her made a smile stretch onto his face. “Like me and Suzie.”

“Oh, Suzie-” He mocked, bouncing his head. Dustin gave him a look, pulling the binoculars back to his eyes. “Yeah, you mean ‘hotter than Phoebe Cates”, yeah that Suzie, and, uh,” Steve paused. “Let’s actually think about it, how exactly did you score that beautiful girlfriend,” He posed the question, scratching the side of his face in faux question. “Oh yeah! With my advice,” He reminded him. “Because that’s how this works, Henderson. I give you advice and you follow through - not the other way around, all right, pea-brain?” Steve shot at him. Dustin gave him a look before resuming his search.

***

Ophelia walked towards Scoops, a dazed look on her face. The feeling of Brett’s lips on hers was still fresh. The odd feeling she felt in the bottom of her stomach returning at the memory. His lips felt odd on hers, they didn’t feel as pillowy as she imagined them to be, instead they were chapped against hers. His lips had touched her so gently, almost as if he was scared that she’d shattered under him any second. Normally, she would have found his gentleness romantic and endearing, but the kiss was almost just his lips hovering over hers, just barely brushing together like he didn’t even want to touch her. It was like that for the entire date, his fingertips just brushing against the small of her back or his arm barely touching her shoulders.

She found her mind wandering off to Steve and if he would have done the same thing. Would he have barely touched her, would his lips just skim over her’s in a short kiss? Would his fingertips ever so slightly touch her body? Maybe Brett just didn’t want to touch her? He hadn’t even mentioned a second date before he scampered off for his shift with blushing cheeks. She sighed, her heels scraping against the floor sluggishly. “Does he even like me?” She whispered to herself. She heard thudding feet running towards her, making her lift her head to see Steve and Dustin rushing out of Scoops in search of someone.

They ran towards her, Steve’s hand reaching out to grasp her small wrist in his, yanking her along with them. She let out a squeak of surprise as she was spun on her heel and pulled towards the center of the mall. She tried to ignore the tingling and the heat that crawled up her arm, spreading throughout her body at his grasp. Steve came to an abrupt stop when they arrived at Robin who stood on the bench wrapping around the center planter’s box that held an assortment of fake plants and a tree, a wide eyed look on her face as she looked down at the three of them. “Robin, what are you doing?” He asked, walking closer to the blonde, his hand still wrapped around Ophelia’s wrist.

“I cracked it.” She said, a hint of excitement in her usually monotone drawl. Ophelia furrowed her brows, glancing at Steve’s hand still on her wrist. His grip, it wasn’t just hovering over her like Brett’s was. His touch felt different from Brett’s. His touch was just something brushing against her body while Steve’s ignited warmth in her that spread throughout her body, like a fire burning under her skin.

“Cracked what?” Steve asked, prompting Robin to jump from the bench - Steve and Dustin’s eyes following her. The sound of her sneakers slapping the tiled floor made Ophelia look at her.

“I cracked the code,” She couldn’t help the smile that consumed her face. Ophelia smiled, proud of Robin for cracking the seemingly impossible code. Robin brushed past the group, glancing down at Steve’s hand encircling Ophelia’s wrist. “Oh, um, Steve?” She turned around, walking backwards with a smirk on her face.

“Yeah?” Steve asked, his eyebrows jumping up as he turned his body to look at Robin, waiting for her to ask him something. Her eyes jumped from between Ophelia and him with sparkles of amusement dancing in her vibrant blue eyes.

“I think you can let go of Ophelia’s hand now.” She beamed at the older boy. Instantly, Dustin and Steve’s eyes dropped down to see that Steve’s hand still held Ophelia’s wrist, making Dustin snort and slap his hand over his mouth to stop his chuckles while Steve nearly choked on his own spit - a blush covering his cheeks. His hand dropped Ophelia’s wrist, the warmth she felt from his fingers grasping her wrist still burning throughout her body.

“Thanks.” Ophelia smiled, walking towards Robin, leaving Steve and Dustin behind. Slipping his hand from his mouth, Dustin looked at Steve who stared at his hand, clenching it in a fist before stretching it out, feeling a weird tingling that felt like he just grabbed an electric fence. Steve’s brown eyes looked up at Ophelia who talked to Robin about how she managed to figure out the code. Her hair bounced behind her as she tried to keep up with the slightly taller girl, her heels clicking against the clean tile.

“Yeah, you definitely don’t like her.” Dustin mused, giving Steve a look as he shook his head. Steve looked over at him, still fisting and unfisting his hand.

“I don’t like her!” Steve denied making Dustin hum and walk away, joining Ophelia and Robin. Steve rolled his eyes, trudging after the group.

“So, Leah,” Dustin cut into the girl’s conversation, earning pointed glares from both of them. “How was the date, from what I saw, it went pretty good.” Dustin inquired, stealing a glance at Steve who glared at him as well. Ophelia glanced at her brother, before glancing at Steve who dropped the glare and gave her a smile instead.

“Yeah, Leah, how’d the big date with Brett go? You were so excited yesterday.” Robin easily changed the subject, knowing that she had the rest of the day to explain her thought process and the plan she was cooking up in her mind. Ophelia shrugged, glancing down at her feet.

“Uh, it was okay. We just kind of walked around after the movie, we shared a pretzel and sat by the fountain, that’s about it.” Ophelia waved them off, her tone less excited. The date was good, he made her laugh, paid for everything before Ophelia could even think about it, but she couldn’t help but let the kiss and lack of talk about a second date put her off. Steve sensed her downcast mood, his heart itching to cheer her up. He couldn’t stand to see her so down, but he also couldn’t help but to feel delighted at the thought that her date didn’t go well.

“Did he kiss you? Is there a second date?” Robin pressed, glancing at Steve from the corner of her eyes as he waited for her answer with baited breath. Ophelia shook her head, a heaving sigh leaving her lips.

“He did kiss me, but it was weird and I have no idea if there is a second date, he didn’t even talk about a second date,” Ophelia admitted, looking at Robin. Robin simply looked at her with wide, confused eyes. She was shocked, Brett seemed to actually like Ophelia. “I’m fine, really. Brett’s cute and nice, but I think we might just be better as friends.” She brushed off Robin’s sympathetic eyes.

“Still, that must suck, Leah. I know how important this date was for you.” Robin rested her hand on Ophelia’s shoulder softly, offering her support. In a private moment with Robin last night when Steve was scooping ice cream and Dustin had been in the bathroom, Robin had made Ophelia crack, admitting her feelings for Steve along with her hopes that this date would help her get over the goofy dingus. Hoping that Brett would be the antidote to the poison that was her crush flooding her veins.

“It’s no biggie, he has my number. Maybe he’ll call me, maybe he won’t - who knows,” She continued to deflect Robin’s support. They all walked into Scoops, seeing barely anyone in the store. Robin opened her mouth to talk to her, but she cut her off. “I’m just going to change into sneakers, I want out of these shoes.” The words were heavy with a lack of emotion, a huge contrast to her normally sweet voice and cheery disposition. Steve watched her as she walked sluggishly into the back room, his heart hurting. He didn’t want to see her so sad. He wanted to see her bright smile, to hear her laughter bouncing off the blue and white striped walls of the overly cheery parlor. He was snapped out of his trance by both Robin and Dustin whacking the back of his head.

“Ow! What the hell was that for?” Steve grumbled, looking at Robin and Dustin who glared back at him.

“For being an idiot.” Dustin retorted, walking around the counter, grabbing a sample spoon and skimming the top of one of the ice creams.

“I did it because I’m tired of this,” Robin threw her hands in the air, also walking behind the counter, closing the screen, but not before peeking in at Ophelia who sat at the table slowly putting her shoes on. “She is upset because she’s trying to move on.” She shook her head, speaking mostly to herself, but she wasn’t aware of Steve standing on the other side of the counter, hearing the words.

“Move on from what? She broke up with her last boyfriend back in September, she’s not still caught up on that asshole, is she?” Steve asked, making Robin whirl around in surprise, not wanting Steve to hear that. Dustin and Robin shared a look before glancing at Steve. A mix of emotions flurried around Steve’s mind like a blizzard, making him mad. Why would she still be hooked on the asshole who barely paid attention to her? Couldn’t she see that she deserved more.

“Why would that matter to you, Steve, you don’t like her.” Dustin sneered, reminding him. Steve jolted back at Dustin’s sudden aggression. Dustin felt protective over his sister. She was obviously crushed that her date didn’t go well and from what Robin just said, it wasn’t because she liked Brett.

“I care because she’s my friend. I don’t need to like her romantically to care for her,” Steve bit back making Robin groan, stomping her foot against the floor in frustration. Steve was just as thick as the layer of product in his precious hair. “What? I shouldn’t care about her?” Steve asked, his eyes wide as he tried to pinpoint their emotions based on their reactions.

“Let me ask you a question Steve,” Robin paused, placing her hands on the counter by the cash, her hard blue eyes looking up at him. “Were you upset about Ophelia going on a date with Brett?” Robin threw the question up in the air, already knowing the answer.

“I wouldn’t say upset-” Steve was cut off by Robin raising her hand at him.

“How did you feel about her going on a date with Brett?” Robin rephrased the question, her hand slapping back to the blue counter, waiting for Steve to answer. Steve blinked, thinking.

“I guess I was a little upset, I mean, Brett Morris is not good for her. She can do so much better than him.” Steve answered, growing upset at the thought of her not realizing how great she was and underestimating what she deserved.

“Okay, so what type of guy is good for her?” Robin bounced back instantly with another question, trying to get him to figure out that he liked her.

“I don’t know,” Steve muttered, thinking. With a sigh, he placed his hands on his hips. “I honestly can’t think of any guy who is good enough. They’re all shit,” Steve confessed. Robin raised her eyebrows, giving him a look. “Alright! I was upset that she was going on a date with Brett Morris, happy?” Steve exclaimed, admitting defeat.

“You hated it so much that you couldn’t stop spying on them, Steve. You were ready to kill the poor guy.” Dustin chimed in, trying to bring Robin’s point home.

“Yes, I spied on them and I might have made some comments about how much I don’t like the guy, what’s your point?” Steve asked them, kicking his leg out to the side, his tongue flicking over his bottom lip. Dustin groaned, his forehead hitting the top of the cooler.

“My point is you like her Steve and you have the power to make her feel better. I know it’s killing you to see her so upset so could you just take a second, try to let the realization penetrate that thick skull of yours and figure out that you are head over heels for her?” Robin pressed, gesturing towards the backroom where Ophelia still hid. Steve scoffed, shaking his head at their antics.

“I don’t like her, okay? I’m not even looking for a serious relationship - not after what happened with Nancy.” Steve denied. Robin and Dustin grew even more frustrated by his denial. Robin rested her elbows on the counter, leaning down as she clasped her hands together in front of her. She licked her lips, glancing down at the counter before back up at Steve.

“You’re just going to stand there and tell us that not even a tiny little part of you realizes that you like Ophelia?” Robin asked him point blank. Steve blinked at her. He thought about it. Did he really like Ophelia? The way Robin had phrased it and the way she said it made him question how he really felt. Had he been denying how he felt about Ophelia because he was scared of being hurt again? His heart did practically leap out of his chest at the sight of her. Seeing guys shamelessly flirt with her day in and day out made him feel like he was continuously running into a solid brick wall with his heart tapped to his face. Oftentimes, he would find himself imagining her smile to calm him down when he’s sad.

“I-I don’t really know,” Steve stuttered, unsure of himself. He shook his head, righting his posture. “Even if I did like her, she probably doesn’t like me. I am the furthest thing from what she deserves.” Steve argued back.

“You won’t know if she likes you if you don’t ask Steve, I know you know how you feel about her,” Robin’s tone was soft and comforting. “We know how she feels about you, but it’s not our place to tell you that. If you want to know how she feels before you realize your feelings, you’re going to miss her - she’s not going to wait around if she likes you.” She told him. Steve looked at her in confusion.

“What?” Steve blinked, not understanding what she was saying.

“I’m saying that if you don’t just figure out your feelings for her, you’re going to miss your chance with her,” Robin was handing him the answer of Ophelia’s feelings for him on a silver platter and it was up to him to figure it out. “And if you don’t figure them out fast, you’re going to mess up.” She warned.

***

Rain poured down on them as they laid on their stomachs, watching a storage room being loaded up. Ophelia rested her chin on her hands that laid on top of the concrete parapet in front of them. “Look for Imperial Panda and Kaufman Shoes!” Robin instructed Dustin from beside Ophelia. She pulled her hood up over her hair, her bare legs that her dress didn’t cover becoming cold as they got soaked with rain. She could hear one of the delivery guys whistling over the pounding rain, but because of the distance, she couldn’t see anything through the pouring rain.

“They’re with that whistling guy, ten O’Clock!” Dustin exclaimed from the other-side of Steve, his binoculars once again pressed to his face. Lazily, Ophelia let her eyes move towards the direction Dustin told them, seeing a man with a yellow raincoat pushing a trolley with three boxes on it into the storage unit. She also couldn’t help but notice the two large guys dressed in black, both holding rather large guns.

“What do you think’s in there?” Steve asked, his eyes squinting as rain fell on his head. He was the only one without a proper raincoat, but that didn’t surprise Ophelia, he wouldn’t be one to own a rain jacket.

“Guns, bombs.” Dustin suggested.

“Chemical Weapons.” Robin also suggested. Steve’s eyebrows jumped as he licked his lips. He wasn’t pleased to have Ophelia with them, not wanting her mixed up with this. It was starting to get dangerous.

“Whatever it is, they’re armed to the teeth.” Dustin announced, his eyes dropping to one of the stern faced guards. Thunder clapped overhead as Steve rubbed his eyes that were irritated from the rain.

“Great,” He commented, nodding his head as he pulled his hand away. His eyes were screwed shut in hopes not to get any more water in them. “That’s great.” He grumbled, opening his eyes. Ophelia reached up to his shoulder, patting it twice before letting it rest on the concrete once again. Her eyes squinted when one of the guards started to move, trying to see what he was doing. She was so focused on what the man was doing, she jolted back in fright when the storage room doors suddenly opened.

“Hey, what’s in there?” Robin perked up, also noticing the doors opening.

“It’s just more boxes.” Dustin told them. Ophelia nodded, watching as the delivery man pushed the trolley into the now open room.

“Let me check it out.” Steve told Dustin, reaching his arm up to grab the binoculars blindly. Dustin pulled the binoculars from his eyes, his grip tightening around them.

“No! I’m still looking!” Dustin pulled back on the binoculars, trying to get Steve to let go of them. Steve simply slapped his other hand on them, trying to wrestle them away from the younger boy.

“Lemme see it.” Steve pressed, pulling harder. Ophelia scooted closer to Robin, not wanting to be hit by Steve’s flailing elbow. A flash of lightning temporarily blinded them as Dustin and Steve continued to tug on the binoculars.

“Hold on!” Dustin argued, giving a sharp tug to the binoculars just as Steve let his hands go - making Dustin hit one of the metal pipes, a loud bang sounding over the pounding rain. Ophelia and Robin jumped at the sound, their eyes jumping from Dustin before looking down at the guards.

“Shit!” Ophelia cursed when she saw the guards glancing towards their direction, their hands reaching for their large semi-automatic guns. All four gasped, fear making their blood run cold in their veins. Ophelia was almost positive that her heart had stopped beating for a second.

“Duck!” Dustin cried as they all dropped to lay down. Ophelia flopped on her back, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Her head rested against the slope of the parapet uncomfortably, a dull ache already making itself present in her neck. She had barely noticed that Steve had grabbed her hand tightly in the middle of the mess until she felt the same heat crawling under her skin that she felt when he grabbed her wrist earlier. It was a welcomed contrast from the cold rain pelting her like bullets, but she couldn’t let the sensation distract her from the fact that they could very well die right then and there.

“We gotta go,” Steve whispered harshly. His mind raced, trying to figure out how they were going to get themselves out of this situation. “We can hide along that.” He pointed towards the larger structure attached to the roof entrance. He didn’t even wait for them to argue before he started to move, tugging Ophelia along with him. He hadn’t even noticed his hand in hers, he was too occupied with trying not to die. They all awkwardly ran, pressing themselves up against the tin siding of the structure.

“I hope this plan works because we don’t have a plan b.” Ophelia panted, letting her head fall back against the wall, her eyes closing. Her chest stung from the panic and running, her lungs burning as they continued to grow greedy for air. She could feel herself shaking, but she wasn’t sure if it was mostly from the cold or her pending death which was rapidly approaching.

Nobody said anything as they all tried to calm their wildly beating hearts in hopes to control their loud breathing. The faint but rapid clang of heavy boots hitting the stairs was muffled to their ears, but detectable none-the-less. The heavy door slammed against the tin making them jump. Ophelia pressed the palm of her free hand to her mouth, her heart rate picking right back up. She found herself trying to plead with every higher power there was to just let them make it out of this situation alive, even wishing on the stars she knew were hidden behind the thick black rain clouds. She hoped that the planets and stars were aligned just the right way so that they all could live another day.

Thunder clapped, overhead making Ophelia suddenly start praying to Zeus of all people, hoping her name was a good enough reason for the mythical god to help the four of them. Steve squeezed her hand tight, nearly cutting off the blood flow to her fingers, but she didn’t care, she just squeezed his hand back equally as hard. They listened carefully, trying to hear any sign of movement over the rain splattering against the concrete of the roof.

It felt like an eternity before they heard the door swing open and slam shut, followed by the sweet sound of heavy boots hitting the metal of the stairs. “We should wait here until we know for sure he’s gone.” Dustin whispered, anxiety filling him, making his mind race. For all he knew, the guard could be waiting to catch them at any second, successfully catching them in his masterplan.

“Good idea.” Steve nodded. Robin and Ophelia looked at them with hard eyes.

“Well then how do we know when to leave? It’s not like he’s standing out in the pouring rain, he can wait there for hours!” Ophelia pointed out a flaw in Dustin’s wait-it-out plan. Just as she said that, they heard the guards loudly talking to each other in Russian, their voices booming over the rain. Dustin smiled at his sister.

“That’s how we know.” He remarked, darting towards the door. She rolled her eyes as the rest of them moved after him, their hearts still racing a mile a minute. They filed into the stairwell, their panting breaths echoing off the wall along with the squishes and squeaks of their sneakers against the clean floors. They were all drenched from head to toe, their clothes a soaking mess that clung to their skin uncomfortably. Ophelia’s hair hung in clumps around her head, a few clumps sticking to the back of her neck and allowing water to trail down her dry back. For the most part, Ophelia, Dustin and Robin’s clothes were somewhat dry thanks to their raincoats protecting them; the protection of the rubber coats stopped the second the Russian guards discovered their presence, their hoods sliding off their heads, their unbuttoned jackets flopping open to expose them to the cold rain.

“Well, I think we found your Russians.” Robin declared the second they reached the back corridors that connected all the stores to the loading dock. She glanced between Steve and Dustin as they all rushed back to Scoops, wanting to be safe once again. Steve continued to hold Ophelia’s hand, tugging her along behind him as he sped walked to Scoops. Robin glanced at their intertwined hands, sharing a look with Dustin who also noticed.

***

Robin was long gone, having biked home so that she could sleep off the memory of nearly dying, something the other three had unfortunately faced twice before. Dustin retreated to Ophelia’s car, but forced her and Steve to get his Camp Know Where hat that he accidentally left behind in the backroom of Scoops. Ophelia and Steve walked in silence, Steve’s mind wrapped up in trying to figure out if he actually liked her. “So, that was kinda scary earlier, huh?” Steve asked, his voice coming out squeakier than he wanted, as he pulled the door to the outside open, the sound of raindrops hitting the wet pavement meeting their ears.

“Yeah, just a little,” Ophelia nodded. She had sensed his rigidity around her. It was like he was constantly on edge, overthinking everything he did. She felt fear settle into her chest at the thought that he had figured her feelings for her. He was probably trying to figure out how to let her down gently or how she could have possibly misread his signs of friendship for something more. “We’ve almost died a lot of times, but this is the first time we’ve almost died from guns.” She tried to carry on the conversation as if her heart wasn’t threatening to rip itself in half.

Stepping into the pouring rain, their barely dry clothes were instantly wet again, weighing down on them along with the crushing silence beating between them like a pulse. Even with the cold rain drops pelting them and thunder rolling over their heads, they still took their time walking to their respective cars. Despite the suffocating silence that bathed them, they still wanted to spend time together. “I don’t think this is a good idea - not after what happened on the roof.” Steve suddenly stopped, turning to face her. Ophelia dug her heels into the ground, whirling around to face him with furrowed brows. He didn’t know what prompted him to say that, the thought of not wanting her to get hurt pressing itself to the forefront of his brain - begging for attention.

They both ignored the raindrops rolling down their faces at high speeds and the rain beating at their faces, their eyes blinking rapidly. “What do you mean? You don’t want to figure out what they’re doing anymore?” She asked, confused. Steve was stubborn, he never gave up on anything. It wasn’t like him to back out of something.

Steve shook his head, water spraying from his hair at the action like a dog. “No, no,” He breathed out so softly Ophelia almost didn’t hear it over the rain. “No, I don’t want you to be involved in this anymore.” He told her, gesturing his hands in the small space between them. They stood so close, you could barely fit another person between them. Ophelia blinked at him, her mouth opening and closing as she processed what he had just said.

“Why not? If you haven’t noticed, I’ve dealt with things a lot scarier than Russians.” She shot back, her hands flying through the air. They had been through so much the past two years, they had been through hell and back and there was no way she was going to bow out at Russians. Last time she checked, they weren’t some unknown force from another dimension.

“Did you not see the giant semi-automatics they were holding Ophelia? That’s a lot harder to avoid than a monster,” Steve’s voice boomed, his blood pressure building. He didn’t want her to get hurt; he didn’t want her to end up with a bullet in her. He wanted her safe, far away from this. Monsters were one thing, but these monsters had guns and a ruthless urge to kill. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He admitted, his voice quieter, but scratchy - realization hitting him. He felt like he had been hit by a tonne of bricks. The world was spinning around him like he was standing on a spinning top that was spinning out of control. His stomach churned, making him want to throw up, but the dizziness made him feel like he was going to pass out. He liked her. Here he stood, in a deserted parking lot with rain pounding down on him, starting a fight with her because he liked her.

Steve watched her face, a mixture of sadness, hurt and anger perfectly blended to match the storm swirling overhead. She chuckled dryly, shaking her head as she folded her arms over her chest. Licking her lips, she set her watery, but hard eyes on Steve who seemed to be caught up in his own thoughts. “You don’t want me to get hurt,” She echoed like she couldn’t believe the words he spoke. “Do you not remember who saved you from being killed from demodogs and Billy Hargrove last year? Oh, yeah! That’s right,” Her tone picked up to fake enthusiasm. “It was me.” Her tone dropped dangerously.

“Billy was different and you ended up right next to me on that floor, Ophelia,” He reminded her, his voice raising as well, his voice strained. “I can’t do that again, I can’t see you laying there barely hanging on to consciousness again!” His body shook as he screamed into the night. He was screaming out silently, hoping that she could hear what he was trying to tell her.

“And you think I want to see you being beaten to a pulp again? No, but I’m not going to try and stop you from potentially saving the world again and you shouldn’t try to stop me!” She screamed back. She was trying to get him to hear her, to hear her true meaning in the words that she spoke.

“I can take care of myself, you-” He cut himself off, his mind stopping his mouth from talking before he put his foot in his mouth. “You-” He tried to come up with something else quickly, knowing that what he wanted to say was a complete lie. She could take care of herself. She had proven that multiple times. “You-” He tried again, but she cut him off with a stressed cry.

“I- What, Steve,” She asked, her eyes dancing with fire despite the water that pooled in them, trying desperately to smother the fire. “I can’t defend myself? I can’t take care of myself, huh,” She asked, choking back a little sob as her heart pulled itself apart slowly. She had always been undermined, nobody letting her do anything because she wasn’t strong enough, because she was just a little fragile thing that would break if the wind blew too hard. She listened to his silence, his eyes darting to the wet pavement guiltily. “God Steve! I thought that you of all people wouldn’t look at me like that, but I guess you’re just like everyone else.” She spat, tears finally breaking through the wall, sliding down her cheeks along with the rain.

Steve noticed instantly, his heart feeling like it was being held together by a single thin string that was seconds away from snapping at the sight of the tears. “No, Ophelia, that wasn’t what I wanted to say-” She cut him off once again.

“Then tell me,” She stated, sniffling slightly. “Tell me what you don’t think of me like a porcelain doll that will crack at the softest touch,” She prompted him. Silence banged like the thunder over their heads. Steve’s mouth hung open, wanting to say something, but he couldn’t, his mind blank. He really didn’t see why she couldn’t continue this with them other than the fact that he likes her and will go insane if something happened to her, but he couldn’t say that. Not yet at least. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” She muttered bitterly, wiping at her face. “Think what you want, Harrington-” She spat his name as if it were a bad taste in her mouth, sending a dagger into his heart - severing the string holding it together. “I’m doing this whether you like it or not.” She told him, turning on her heel and speed walking towards her car where Dustin sat.

Steve stood there, hair hanging in his face as he watched her. The warning Robin gave him earlier echoing through his head. “If you don’t figure them out fast, you’re going to mess up.” Steve sighed, kicking the ground and walking to his dark car. His thoughts were consumed by Ophelia, wondering how he was going to fix this and his new found feelings for her. He had always felt it, he just finally realized it. Ophelia Henderson could take anything she wanted from him, even his beating heart from his chest, and leave and Steve would just be happy to see her smile.

She was always there for him. She gave him shelter when his dad and him were fighting about College and he didn’t feel safe to be home for weeks. She held him, gave him food, cared for him when his parents wouldn’t. When he felt like he was losing everything, like he was drowning, she was the one keeping him afloat, keeping his head above water. She was the reason his head was still above the rising water levels of his life. She was the reason he was still hanging onto hope that his life will get better. It didn’t matter if she wasn’t able to protect herself (which he knew full well that she could), he’d still rather give his life for her because she’s saved his life more than once and he knows that she’d do it all over again, even if it meant giving her life for him. She was the reason he was still there, being able to be there for Dustin. She pulled him out of his darkest time, of the period of his life where he honestly couldn’t picture himself in five years because he thought he’d be dead. He didn’t understand how he couldn’t have realized his feelings sooner, how he so clearly liked her that even Dustin noticed it before him. He could have avoided doing the one thing he never wanted to do: hurt Ophelia.

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