#also happy friday have a nice weekend everybody!!

[lovebillyhargrove]

Wake me up when July is around

Chapter 5

Chapter 6/?

***

October is ending and Steve's feeling restless. His relationship with Nancy is in a rut. They went to Martha's diner where they serve the best milkshakes in town the other day, and it was nice until the moment Nancy asked him if he had thought about buying Jonathan a camera.

It's Jonathan now. Like, officially. Should he be worried or what the hell is this.

Steve pretended to be dense and said he's still considering it and he needs more time, which didn't make Nance particularly happy.

He can't help but feel that his girlfriend is becoming more and more distant. He's trying to keep the flame alive, he loves her, but it's getting harder and harder. He understands she's going through a rough time, he's doing his best to distract her, but like .. he can't bring her friend back.

Steve doesn't know what to do about it.

He decides to do what he knows best.

Steve is going to throw a party.

There's no special occasion, but parents-out-of-town-for-the-weekend seems celebratory enough.

Like he said, he wants to enjoy his senior year cause god knows what's gonna happen after.

Tommy is on board.

"Finally! King Steve's castle, here we come!"

They spread the word, and people are pitching in - with alcohol. Roy helps find a keg. What else do they need? Cigarettes, some snacks, loud music and the right spirit which they've got plenty of.

Parents aren't gonna he back till next Wednesday which is even better, Steve will have enough time to clean the place up.

The party is set for Saturday evening.

It's gonna be awesome.

The whole high school shows up. Cars are parked all down the street, the swimming pool which Steve had cleaned on Friday, is glowing. The punch is pure gasoline, as Roy calls it. The funny dude always comes up with different names for punch at parties.

Steve's feeling great. Hell yeah, he's still king of this town.

Hargrove's here, sitting on the couch in the living room, Vicky on the right, Jennifer on the left, and Vicky is glaring at the other girl, having placed a possessive hand-on-thigh sign up. Hargrove lets her, although rumours are, they haven't fucked yet. What's taking him so long, Jesus? He's been in Hawkins for two months already.

Not like Steve's counting.

Hargrove's wearing faded light-blue jeans and a dark-gray shirt, which makes the colour of his dirty-blond hair and blue eyes absolutely pop.

He looks fucking good.

Okay, no-one cares about the eyes and about the stupid mullet, and especially his tanned chest which is out on display again.

Harrington is sitting opposite them on another couch, with Nancy by his side, Tommy and Carol, and there are people everywhere surrounding them, having found a spot on the armchairs or couches' armrests, or simply on the floor. There's a coffee table in the middle, red plastic cups, beer bottles and ashtrays all over it. The French windows to the pool are open wide, to let some fresh late evening air in. The music's blasting through the speakers, and Harrington's speakers are the dopest, huge, expensive shit, bass cutting to the bone and resonating through the whole body. There are couples dancing everywhere, in the backyard too, or just talking and hanging out.

Tommy is in the centre of everybody's attention reminiscing loudly

He remembers the time last year they were having a party so loud, some cranky neighbors called the cops at 1am, and officer Callahan showed up to deal with the situation.

Harrington was drunk out of his mind, standing by the pool, one arm on a girl's shoulder

..was it Katie or Amy ? .. Steve's trying to remember

When Callahan came up to Steve and informed him that neighbors were complaining about the noise and also pointed out the sweeping underage drinking laws violation

Harrington threw his other arm around Callahan

And told him drunkenly and slurring

"Are you going to arrest all of us? Lemme see them cuffs."

Letting go of Callahan and pointing an index finger in his face

"You have the right to remain silent, officer."

Then turning around and walking away.

The moment Callahan started after Steve, the cop clumsily slipped on a wet tile and fell into the pool

Everyone fell quiet, but Harrington was like

"No running near the pool, officer! You, of all people!!"

The kids burst out laughing wildly.

An unfortunate day for the Hawkins police department.

The next day Steve's parents received a personal call from Chief Hopper.

Harrington was grounded for a week.

But the parents went away after three days, so.

There's laughter and comments all around, and even Hargrove's smiling.

Or one time during a pool party previous June, when they were celebrating the end of freshman year, everyone was so drunk and then Roy puked in the pool with people swimming in it, unleashing ultimate chaos cause everybody was screaming and trying to get out of the water as quickly as possible, and running to the two showers available in the house. Harrington had to drain the whole pool and clean it. He hired people for it, but it was a bummer anyways.

"Not my fault, not my fault!!" Roy is bellowing

"That punch was spiked so hard, it was pure poison! My system couldn't handle the poison!"

Or last year when a drunk Andy got on the roof of the house and was shouting "Tina, I love you!"

"Shut up, Tommy!"

(They were having relationship problems, and supposedly were in the verge of a breakup, cause Tina saw him making eyes at Heather, but Tommy was smart enough not to bring those details up)

Andy was so drunk he couldn't get down by himself, so they had to bring a ladder and someone, - was it Mike? - had to climb up and help him get on the ground

And Tina was wailing and shouting "Call 911, call 911!" cause she was afraid her boyfriend would fall down and break his neck or something

Drama, sweet high school drama.

"Or guys, guys, do you remember .."

That one time when they were playing truth of dare and Harrington dared Danny to come to school dressed as a girl, high heels, make up and a wig, and some guys really fell for it like "Whoa, who's the new chick?"

During Literature class he introduced himself to Mr. McCarthy as Shawna Rubitquick, a new student who relocated to Hawkins from Hollywood.

And then he was called to the principal's office for class disruption and indecent behaviour, but then the dude's dad who's a lawyer was like

"That incident cannot be qualified as indecent behaviour. I do not see the problem, principal Foster."

However, after that dad took Danny's car keys for two weeks, so Harrington had to give him a ride to school and back every fucking day of those weeks.

Andy pipes up and tells a couple of more funny memories from the parties he or Tina hosted in the past, and Tina's like

"Make sure to come to my Halloween bash I'm throwing end of November! Costumes are a must!"

Steve kinda thrives in all that stupid funny noise. He notices that the only person who isn't psyched about being here and listening to the stories is his own girlfriend but she's quiet and just sitting there sipping a half-filled plastic cup of punch. That's clearly not her usual scene but

She's fine.

Those were the good old days, so carefree and fun.

This year is overshadowed by having to choose your future, as well as other stuff. Too much of it.

Steve's not gonna think about it now though.

Harrington's eyes fall on some girl's long legs in black stockings, the legs look great, wait, that's Nicole, she's sitting on the armrest near Tommy and Carol, drinking beer out of a bottle and throwing meaningful glances at Steve when she's sure Nancy's not paying attention

Which is basically always.

Has she always been looking at him like that?

Steve's already a bit tipsy.

Anyways.

The guys start chanting

"Keg! Keg! Keg! Keg!"

And the whole cheerful company spills out into the backyard, dragging even more people along

Nancy is staying behind talking to some girl, Samantha..? Maybe.

Tommy, Andy, Roy and Danny take turns on the keg. Their results are impressive, Andy having reached forty-one seconds is the first one for now, but the crowd needs an ultimate winner.

Hargrove. Forty-eight.

"Fuck yeah, California!"

That's Roy's shrill voice, followed by

"King Steve! Let's hear it for King Steve!"

This voice belongs to Tommy of course, Steve's not sure he wants to do it, no, he's not sure he's gonna be able to do it, cause he's been out of practice and all, but everyone's cheering and what the hell

Let's fucking do it.

In his junior year he set a record at fifty seconds, so there's a good chance he won't let Hawkins down.

Forty-fucking-eight.

Can you believe it? It's a draw between him and Hargrove. The crowd is louder than the music

"We've got two Keg Kings, everyone! Legends!"

Tommy's going insane. Add a bit of fuel to his enthusiasm and the guy's gonna fly to the fucking moon right this second.

Steve can't really feel the ground under his feet, he's dizzy and there's a nasty feeling of being so sooo close to throwing all that beer up

Hargrove's watching him, eyes squinted and a mean smile on his lips, bare chest glistening from all the liquid, and Steve can read his mind, like ..

Hargrove's underestimated him. He thought that the victory was gonna be his and only his, but thank you, years of pre-Nancy Wheeler practice. At least, Harrington managed not to lose his face. Eat that, you fucking show-off.

***

When everyone has calmed down, and it has gotten back to the usual loud party buzz, and Hargrove, Tommy and others flop on the couches in the living room again, lazily smoking, Andy already kissing Tina, Billy putting his arm around Vicky's waist,

Steve goes to look for Nancy. She's in the kitchen, still talking to that Samantha girl

"Hey, Nance, you missed the keg stand!"

"Yeah, just uh .. it's already close to eleven and I promised my mom to be back before midnight. She only let me go because I told her I'm going to be with you the whole time."

"Yeah, alright.. I'll get you back home. Let's just hang out some more with everyone. I'll walk you home later, we basically live on the same street, right? It's like .. a ten-minute walk. I'd drive you but I know you won't let me now. I did a keg stand, did you hear? 48 seconds!"

Steve's blabbering.

Nancy's looking at Steve like he's a giant toddler.

"If that makes you happy.."

She's waving

"See you later!" to Samantha, and Steve drags her back to the living room where the unstoppable Tommy, who's clearly on cloud nine from seeing old Harrington back, even if only for the evening, has apparently suggested playing a classic of truth or dare.

Carol's rolling her eyes

"Tommy, grow up already!"

Roy is shouting

"Let's do it, guys!"

Everyone's like yeah why not?

So the game begins. Vicky says they should spin the bottle but Tommy yells

"No, it's to the left, it's to the left!"

Hargrove's sitting to his left, and, naturally, Tommy wants to mess with him of all people

"Truth or dare?"

Steve somehow can tell that Hargrove is not the "truth" guy.

"Dare."

He's right.

"Billy, my man, I dare you to .." - Tommy's pausing for some dramatic effect, -" take a swim in Harrington's pool right now!"

Vicky is looking at Tommy as if he's out of his mind

"It's freaking October! You want Billy to catch pneumonia or something?"

Hagan is raising his hands in the air

"It's a dare! Take it or leave it!"

Billy's whispering in Vicky's ear

"Honey, I appreciate the concern, but you can't catch pneumonia from being in cold water for a minute, don't worry."

He turns to Tommy

"Get me a towel, Hagan."

They are both getting off the couches and Tommy goes to fetch a towel from the bathroom downstairs.

People are again spilling outside, finding a spot around the pool. Vicky is indignantly telling Tina that Tommy is so drunk he doesn't know what he's doing.

Hargrove's standing at the deep end.

The water must be fucking cold. It's the end of October. Hargrove's dick and balls are gonna freeze off. Not that Steve gives a fuck about the dude's privates, but you get the idea.

At least the water's clean, all the dry leaves that were floating in the surface have been fished out. The pool looks magic with all the blue lighting.

Harrington loses the trail of thought for a second because Billy starts undressing in front of everyone. He first unbuttons his dark-gray silky shirt, slowly, pensively, as if bracing himself for the temperature his body is about to experience. He then .. no, he doesn't take off the shirt, he slides it down his shoulders, the fabric flowing over his skin as if in slow-motion, revealing his muscled tanned torso, and Steve finds himself back in that Health class again, when everyone was watching Hargrove performing a masterclass of rolling a condom on a cucumber. It's kinda the same situation here, all girls are this close to literally losing it. Those who are holding their boyfriends are desperately digging their nails into the boyfriends' arms. Hargrove then kicks the boots off, unbuckles the belt and unzips the jeans. Even that is fucking sexy. Steve's mouth turns dry for some reason. He hopes no-one's looking at him right now, but no worries, everybody's eyes are on Billy,

Who shakes his ass out of the jeans and takes them off too, standing there in black boxers.

He dives beautifully and swims as beautifully from one end of the pool to the other under water, not coming up for air even once. He moves smoothly and quickly, spreading his arms like the wings of a flying eagle. Steve also thinks Hargrove looks like an exotic fish in a magically illuminated pool.

Billy reaches the shallow end, emerging from the water. Easily lifts himself up, muscles rolling under that smooth skin, tiny streams of water flowing down.

He gets out of the pool, and everyone's silent for a second until Tommy breaks the quiet getting closer to Hargrove with the towel and shouting

"Dude, that was awesome! How's the water?"

Billy's chuckling

"I can help you find out, Tommy."

Hagan is backing off, just in case, and Billy takes the towel and shrugs his broad shoulders like it was nothing, like he swims in freezing water every day.

The crowd starts murmuring and Steve gets broken out of his daze. He glances at Nancy and notices that she's white in the face

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Let's.. let's get back inside. Steve, you know I can't.. being near that swimming pool is just.."

Shit, of course.

"Yeah, yeah, let's get back. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have taken you outside."

They are the first ones to get back into the living room. After them people start taking their seats on the couches and armchairs again. Nancy is standing near the wall, hiding her face in Steve's chest.

"You alright, Nance?"

"Yes, just give me a minute. It's just all the memories.."

"Hey, Nance, it's okay." He's whispering and hugging her tight.

Meanwhile the game of truth or dare is apparently going on, and Hargrove is standing in the middle of the room, all dripping wet, in his wet fucking boxers looking absolutely undeterred drying his hair with the towel.

Tommy's voice is heard everywhere again

"It's your turn, bro!"

There's a flash of instant exhilaration mixed with fear just like back in Health class again, when Steve's heart was beating in anticipation of hearing his name being called

He thinks Hargrove might choose him,

But Billy's eyes aren't even searching for him, no

"Yo Andy! Truth or dare?"

"What happened to the left?" Tommy seems to care about the rules

"Left, right, who cares. What's it gonna be, Goldman?"

Andy looks a bit uneasy but he doesn't want to back down in front of everyone

"Dare?"

"Nice. I dare you to a race, your baby against mine."

Andy's taken by surprise, the dare seems unexpected from an almost naked wet guy in boxers, but he says

"You got it."

Tommy's letting out a gasp of delight.

"We'll talk about all the details later, yeah? You kids play the game, I'm gonna go make myself decent again."

Vicky follows Billy upstairs. Probably wants to help the guy warm up. She's carrying his clothes and his boots.

"It's a race, everyone! Holy fucking shit! Senior year, baby!! Andy, your pick!" Tommy's back at restoring the rules

Andy picks Tina who's on his left, and Tina chooses truth and the question is

"Who do you find the sexiest in the room?"

Everyone boos and laughs

Tina kisses her boyfriend

"You, silly."

"You better."

They are kissing and kissing and kissing until people start shouting

"Enough!"

And

"Get a room!"

Steve wants to stay and see where the game goes but Nancy is suddenly not by his side anymore, fuck, he's still reeling from the keg stand. She must've gone .. to the bathroom maybe, why didn't she say anything?

He goes to look for his girlfriend, and finds her sitting on the staircase alone

"What happened, Nance?"

"It's .. the pool and everything, I told you .. it brought that night back, and I just .. can we go talk somewhere more private?"

"Sure. Sure, let's go upstairs."

They get up the stairs, music still booming, but it's quieter, and there are no people around. Nancy is sliding down the wall to the floor and Steve's sitting next to her.

"I keep thinking about that night, Steve. Don't you ever think about that night?"

"I do. What happened was awful."

But also.. we made love for the first time that night, Nance. It was beautiful.

"The most awful thing is that we still don't know what exactly happened."

"Yes. But .. we are not the police, Nance. If they don't know, how can we .."

"The police don't do anything! They didn't even .."

Nancy stops mid-sentence

"Yeah, I don't even know what to think anymore. But this guy in the pool brought everything back, and .. there's just something creepy about that pool, I can't look at it anymore."

"How .. how do you know something happened in the pool? The police looked for clues all around the backyard, and they didn't find anything.. Wait, do you know something I don't?"

Their faces are so close. Nancy is lowering her eyes and taking him by the hand.

"No, Steve, I don't know anything."

Is she telling the whole truth?

"Hey Nance .. look at me?"

Nancy's lifting her eyelashes and looking at him with her big beautiful eyes, and Steve can't help himself, he's only human, he's in love with that girl

She kisses him, softly touching his face. Steve gets a fleeting suspicion she's doing it because she doesn't want to continue having this conversation, or maybe not, maybe he's just stupid and wasted, and she kisses him because she wants him

Harrington thinks it's an invitation

It's time to stoke the fire, they are still together and they are going to get through this

Steve can feel how quickly he's getting hard, alcohol and blood pumping in his head and echoing in his dick, together with the music coming from downstairs

He deepens the kiss and mumbles

"Nance come on, I want you so bad .."

"Steve, you're drunk."

"So? I'm seventeen, Nance, I'm allowed to be drunk, that's not a crime."

"That's literally a crime."

"Who cares? Just .. I'm so crazy about you."

"I should probably get home. Time's .."

"Oh come on, I've missed you! .. I swear, I'll get you home on time, well, maybe .. we'll be a couple of minutes late .. but just a couple, I promise. Your mom won't be mad. She likes me."

He's getting off the floor and helping his girlfriend up, they're still kissing and hugging and they are moving towards the door of Steve's room.

"I love you so much, Nance, you make me crazy .."

Steve's hand finds the door handle but he can't open the door because.. it's locked ..? What the fuck?

He doesn't remember locking his room, but maybe? Who knows

He digs in his jeans pocket cause he knows there's a key to his room in there

Lets go of Nancy for a second to open the door

Then is back at kissing her again

They are stumbling into Steve's room

"The fuck? Harrington??"

What the hell? Hargrove's standing near the bed with his back to the door, but he's turning his head and

The bedside lamp is on, so Steve can see the incredulous and malicious twist on Hargrove's face

Vicky is scrambling from the floor up

Thank fuck the asshole's wearing clothes so Steve - and Nancy - don't have to see his naked ass

Billy and Vicky in Harrington's room?

Oh shit. They are interrupting a blowjob.

"The fuck you standing there? Trying to get a better look? Get the fuck out!"

Steve's speechless

"Sorry man, but I think it's you who needs to get out."

"Why the fuck is that?"

"You're in MY room, asshole!"

"So what? Close the fucking door, can't you see we're in the middle of something?"

"That's .. huh! Are you even listening? That's MY fucking room! Go find yourself another one, or better yet, don't fuck in my house!"

Vicky is sitting on the edge of the bed, quickly buttoning up her blouse.

Nancy is leaning on the door, obviously wishing she simply wasn't here.

Hargrove zips up his jeans and comes closer to Harrington.

"Bad room service, the worst. Gotta speak to the manager."

He pushes Harrington and Steve's back hits the wall. Hargrove's angry like a bull who sees red but Steve's just as furious. He swings fast, and Hargrove must still be fucking taken by surprise because he doesn't cave and gets hit in the face

Vicky and Nancy start screaming something like

"Billy, stop!"

"Steve, no!"

And quickly run out of the room to get help.

Hargrove's already lunging at the intruder (slash room-owner) and grabbing him by his polo, shoving him into the wall again but Harrington is pushing him back, and then Billy's swinging and Steve's swinging and both of their noses are bleeding

And it's a good old fight between the boys until Tommy, Roy and a couple of other guys rush into the the room to break it up.

Tommy and Andy are holding Hargrove back, Roy and Danny are trying to overpower Harrington

"Stop, stop, guys !! Enough! The fuck is wrong with you?" Tommy is shouting

"You fucking asshole! Can't see you're fucking interrupting something? The fuck is your problem?"

"My only problem is that you are in my room, are you fucking stupid?"

"So what? It's a fucking party, Harrington! Who cares whose room is that?"

"I care!"

"How the fuck did I know it was your fucking room? Now I see though, the plaid is as ugly as your fucking assface!'

Steve tries throwing himself at Billy again but Roy and Danny manage to hold him back, all four of the peacemakers shouting

"Guys, guys enough!! Jesus, enough, for fuck's sake!!"

Finally, Hargrove shrugs all of the restraining hands off of him and walks up to Steve.

Danny and Roy are letting Harrington free as well, however, still standing close, ready to start breaking up the continuation of the fight if needed.

There's no need.

Billy just locks his eyes with Steve's and says in a fake good-humoured voice.

"Great party, amigo. Place is a little cramped and room service does not seem to care about the do-not-disturb policy, but-uh .. great party nonetheless."

Steve's not fooled by the tone. He sees hatred dancing in Hargrove's blown-out pupils.

Hargrove walks away and Vicky is following him.

The guys get downstairs to let the curious crowd know everything's alright.

Steve understands he's not gonna get any sexy time with his girlfriend now.

Nancy says she's not in the mood, and the whole party is stupid and she has to go to bed, so Steve walks her home. Mostly in silence.

She hugs him saying good night.

When he gets back, the party is still on, but it's quieter now, and the crowd has broken into small groups of people here and there

Tommy and Carol are upstairs. Not in Steve's room, he hopes, but he wouldn't make another scene even if they were.

Well, Tommy knows where his friend's room is. They usually occupy the guest room anyways.

Maybe he overreacted.

There's something about this smug Californian asshole that makes his blood turn its flow.

Steve wants to get in bed. However, when he's about to get upstairs, a hand is touching his shoulder gently and

Nicole is standing behind him smiling

He remembers the legs from earlier tonight.

"Hey."

"Hey .. maybe .. maybe you need to take your mind off things. I can help you with that."

She's smiling and there's a horny twinkle in her eyes, luring Steve in

Things can be so easy, can't they?

"Sorry, honey .. I'm taken."

Nicole is watching him go up the stairs wistfully. Maybe she'll try again another time, that's not the last party this year.

When Steve enters his room, he makes sure to lock the door.

Crashes on the bed. Not gonna shower. Tomorrow, everything tomorrow.

The party wasn't bad, actually.

Just this motherfucking Californian beach bum had to add a spoonful of tar to a barrel of honey.

Everything's flashing through Steve's still drunk brain - Nancy's sweet kisses, Hargrove's muscles and his tanned skin, Tommy's voice, the blue water in the pool, Nancy's friend Barb, sitting by the pool that terrible night, Billy swimming there .. fuck why did it have to look so gorgeous. Billy's fists and their mutual rage, Vicky on her knees in front of Hargrove and his broad broad shoulders ..

***

***

The motherfucking stupid bitch Harrington. Had to ruin it for him, of course.

Billy's angrily driving Vicky home.

Good thing he put his clothes back on in what turned out to be Harrington's bedroom cause he kinda was freezing a bit after taking a swim in Indiana's October water, and he wanted some clothes on his cold body.

Good thing cause otherwise it would've been funny him swinging at the fully-clothed richie boy with his own dick and balls dangling and ass for everyone to see.

Fucking asshole. Get out of my room.

That's why Billy hates rich guys. They are so full of themselves. So what, it's your room? You accidentally see someone banging in there, you fucking close the door, and find yourself an empty room, period. Let people fucking finish, where the fuck are your manners.

What a dickhead. What a douche.

"Hey, Billy?"

Is Vicky trying to make a conversation right now?

"Hmm?"

"We can finish what we started, you know."

"Oh yeah? Your parents not home?"

"They are, unfortunately, but uh .. we can drive off the road?"

They spot a right turn onto a dirt road which runs along the woods. Billy parks his car and reclines both seats. Some romantic shit is playing on the radio and they kiss and Vicky sucks him off.

It's all fine up to the point when Billy is about to come. He isn't thinking about Vicky or any other girl, real or imaginary. No, their fight with Harrington is on his mind

The way they grabbed each other

His lips

Their faces were so close

Harrington smelled good

Like .. the smell you want to come back to and feel it again

Billy cums with a groan

"Fuuuuck .. yeah."

And then immediately erases all unnecessary images from his mind

Is he alright in the head? He doesn't fucking need it.

He slides a hand up Vicky's skirt and makes her cum on his fingers. It doesn't take long, the fabric of her panties is drenched with wetness.

When they are done, he lights up a cigarette and drives the girl home.

Later that night seconds before falling asleep Billy realises

Shit, he left his boxers in Harrington's bedroom.

***

Chapter 7

#harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove slow burn #mean steve vs mean billy #harringrove high school shenanigans #harringrove drunk shenanigans #billy x steve

[imadarkraincloud]

Sunday Morning

Good Morning everybody. Sorry for my absence it was a hell of a busy week. It went by very fast and before ii knew it the weekend was here. Work has kept me busy and has also been very good for my mental health. As an added treat the guys all got together for our Friday lunch. I know this seems like it is me beating a dead horse and repeating myself but it is nice to have friends. I have never been at the point where I could have a group to call my own and the brotherhood aspect of it has been wonderful. It is good to feel wanted and needed. Having been alone so many years I have not felt what is like...I like it.

It's breezy but absolutely gorgeous out today. After nothing but rain and wind for the last week or so it is perfect for a Sunday.

You know with everything new I have been trying I believe that it has been great for my mental health and at this point I almost feel like a normal member of society. But I also believe that I will never quite see myself as that person who is alright with himself. I will forever see me as a horribly disfigured beast that is under lock and key in some cellar somewhere. Horns coming out of the top of my head and one of them has been broken off. Scars all over my body from decades of abuse and self harm. A horrific limp from a lesson I learned years ago about talking when I should be listening, cause nobody wants to hear the beast speak. Pain mapped out all over my body a life learned in suffering. Something that the universe will never accept because they simply just don't understand.

But mental health is so like drug addiction recovery, one day at a time. So for today and today right now I feel very good. It's the mood swings that sap your strength with depression. From sad to happy to feeling numb it all tears you apart. It makes you feel evil. Your insecurities and fears become amplified and distorted beyond recognition. But mental health is also like an acid trip, it is different for everybody.

A few weeks ago I bought me and my son our tickets to the fan expo comic con for this February. To say I am pumped up is an understatement. This is me and my sons Christmas . It is such a huge deal for us and it will be our third one. This year I got the weekend package and all of the trimmings to go with it. Since Victoria will not be having one this year I will go all out on this one. There is so much to see and do. We save money and bring our big backpack so he can get his favourite wee action figures that are tough to find at the store. There are seemingly endless tables of everything a couple of nerds like us could ever want or ask for ha ha. I am so counting dow the days to spend it and share with my favourite little human .

I recently started a new book called "Alone against the north" by Adam Shoalts. It is so far excellent. It is about a man and his expeditions over Canada and the rest of the world. I always loved books about explorers and their escapades. Real adventures that I myself would not have the guts to try have always intrigued me. I have been reading a lot lately and I also feel it is an important part of me feeling so good lately. This level of balance and feeling good is something I want to continue so I will just keep doing what I am doing.

Well enough of my rambling ha ha. I might see you all later and might write again.

Till next time take care

#mental health #happiness #love #creative writing #therapy

[tkthetrainer]

Spontaneous Plans || Tarlos

“Dad,” TK said, pressing his hand to his forehead as he tried not to sound too snappy, “I already told you, I can’t get there on Thursday. I fly in Friday evening, as planned.”

“Are you sure? You know it would mean a lot to your grandmother if you could be at dinner on Thursday.”

“Just because I’m not a firefighter, doesn’t mean I don’t have work commitments,” TK replied, packing up some of his equipment with the hand that wasn’t holding the phone.

@lagalaxystarcarlos

“I didn’t even think LA Galaxy were playing this weekend?”

“We don’t just sit around waiting for somebody to get injured playing a game and you know it. I’ll be there Friday for the party on Saturday, and I won’t be flying back until Sunday night. There will be plenty of time to catch up with everybody.”

Owen sighed, disappointed but TK wisely didn’t say anything to that. He loved his father, he really did, but he often wondered if he was disappointed he hadn’t become a firefighter like he was. He had never said as much, but it still didn’t stop him from wondering.

“I almost forgot - while you’re here, I want you to meet somebody. His name is P-”

“No.”

“TK, please. Your grandmother approves of him, he’s a very nice man an-”

“Dad,” TK snapped, “I said no. I’m not meeting somebody at a party for my grandmother’s 80th, and you’re not going to get me to move back to New York. You don’t even live there anymore.”

“Your family is here, TK, even if I’m not. I don’t like the thought of you being alone in LA.”

“I’m not alone.”

“I know you have your roommate but I’m talking about something real - I know you’re scared TK, but you can’t keep hiding yourself just because of what happened last time.”

“That is not what I’m doing,” TK lied, but Owen ignored him and started telling him about this man, Pete, and TK was getting frustrated now.

“Dad, I’m seeing somebody!” He blurted out, regretting it almost instantly. God, what was he thinking, like that would stop his Dad. At least, not for the single moment where Owen did stop talking, seemingly thrown. But it didn’t last for long.

“TK! What didn’t you tell me?”

“I - um,” fuck, “it’s new?”

“You’ve got to bring him to the party, your grandmother would be so happy-”

“No, Dad, it’s to-”

“- oh, this is great, TK, I can’t wait to meet him.”

“D-”

“What’s his name?”

And really, Carlos picked the absolute worst moment to walk into the room because TK looked up at him, and his stomach fucking dropped and he was instantly distracted from the conversation with his Dad because Carlos tended to have that affect on him, when it was outside of their normal sessions. He managed to keep himself perfectly professional but they were also becoming good friends, and outside of work it was really hard to not notice the man wasn’t just insanely gorgeous, but kind and probably one of the best people he had met. But he had thought he had left for the evening after their earlier session.

“Carlos?” He said to the other man, realising his mistake too late as his Dad heard him.

“Oh that new transfer you were telling me about? I’m sure he’s lovel-”

“No, wait, Dad, I-”

“Okay, I have to go, son - I’ll see you and Carlos this weekend!”

“No-”

But it was too late, his Dad had hung up and left TK staring, horrified, at Carlos, and then down at his phone. 

“Fuck.”

#tarlos rp

[evsvolunteerstotem]

Traveling, mid-term seminar, and back in Plzeň

22.03.2024

Čau everybody! ;D

I’m back and I can't say often enough how quickly time flies. Well, I promised to tell you more about my mid-term seminar, which by the way (small spoiler) was extremely nice. But before that, I want to talk a bit about the last weekend of February, which I spent in Munich with Maren and my sister. I'll try to keep it short because finally, another trip and a few more events in Plzeň are waiting for you. So read on if I now have piqued your interest! ;D

After work on Friday, the 23rd of February I took the train from Plzeň to Munich and to be honest I only had visited the city once for one or two days before and therefore wasn’t quite sure what to expect from it. There is this cliché of the extremely expensive and chic city of Munich but when I arrived I was positively surprised by how cool the city can actually be. We also had a Hostel in the super trendy “Werksviertel”, which was full of bars, cultural offerings, and young people. On our first evening, we went on a long tour of the old town in search of a good restaurant. Finding something that wasn't too expensive and still had room for the three of us wasn't that easy, but we finally ended up at an Indian restaurant with extremely delicious food. So gladly the evening ended on a good note, because let's be honest, nobody likes being hangry, right?

The next morning we had a sunny breakfast on the roof terrace of our hostel before heading back towards the city centre. Completely in our tourist mode, we visited the famous Eisbachwelle in the English Garden, the Hofgarten, Marienplatz, and nearby Viktualienmarkt as well as countless churches and other tourist spots. After this long tour we of course needed a little refreshment and once again it wasn't that easy to find a café that wasn't already full. So a little tip for your next visit to Munich - try to reserve a table in advance, because going out to eat spontaneously is not so easy in this city. ;D After a while we finally found what we were looking for, but due to this delay, we had to cancel our visit to the German Museum, which we then made up for on Sunday. Instead, we went for ice cream in the sunshine and then - at dusk - took a ride on “Umadum”, the Ferris wheel in the Werksviertel. After dinner, we went to the bar in our hostel and ended our last lovely evening there together. On Sunday, after our three-hour visit to the German Museum, we went our separate ways and while my sister and Maren made their way home, I went back to Plzeň… 

And well, on the next day I took the train again – this time to my mid-term seminar. I met most of the volunteers in the small town of Kolín already and from there we (obviously) all took the Bus to the little village of Němčice, with a population of only about 400 people. The driver definitely looked a bit confused as a group of 20 people squeezed into his bus. ;D To be honest I could write a single blog post about this wonderful week only, because I learned and experienced so much again, but in order not to go beyond the scope, here are only my highlights from each day. Monday I was just happy to see everyone again and I enjoyed all the talks we had about our past 4 months and of course I was also so excited about the catering because if there's one thing that the seminar doesn't lack, it's good food. – And interesting workshops of course and that’s also something I can point out for every day of the mid-term seminar. Pavel and Fillip, our two trainers, did an extremely good job when it came to motivating us and also creating interesting and fun activities as well as little exercises. On Tuesday I also really enjoyed the evening with the other volunteers as we went bowling nearby and I even made the 3rd place, which was a little highlight for me. ;) On Wednesday I liked our little trip through the forest as a whole group and even though the weather was anything but pleasant and we had to fight through deep mud at times (Okay, admittedly that's a bit of an exaggeration^^) the movement in nature was definitely nice. On Wednesday we also had to say goodbye to Pavel, who had to leave a little earlier and we did so with his favourite motivational dance, which was definitely a successful farewell for him. We ended the evening with the Czech movie “Kolja” (BIG recommendation) and after lunch - on the next day - it was already time to say goodbye again. I really enjoyed every moment of the mid-term seminar and was so happy to see all the lovely people again and I’m sure it won’t be the last time meeting them – At least I already have a few inquiries from people who would like to visit me in Plzeň and I would also like to travel more to the east of the Czech Republic, where most of the other volunteers live. 

I made my start on this immediately after the seminar, because instead of going straight back to Plzeň, I went on to the 5th largest city of the Czech Republic - Olomouc - which is located between Brno and Ostrava. There I had booked a cute Airbnb near the old town and on the next day took a short tour through the city with stops such as St. Wenceslas Cathedral, the Archdiocese Museum, and also some churches before Isabelle joined me on Friday. We really enjoyed our stay there and had another touristy Saturday including the visits to the Modern Museum, Theresia Gate, numerous squares, and walks through the beautiful parks in Olomouc. Later we ended our last evening in the bar "Long Story Short", where I perhaps had one drink too much - yikes^^ - and the next morning after breakfast we already went back to Plzeň. It was definitely a very nice long weekend and at the same time I was happy to be back in town, where I got into my routine again and where other events waited for me…

So let’s talk a little bit about my highlights in Plzeň. In addition to some coffee dates and visits to our boulder hall, there was a very important match of Viktoria Plzeň against the team from Geneva, "Servette" on the 14th of March. A win would have meant the best result for Viktoria in its history in the Conference League and yet both teams made it really exciting until the end, and I mean REALLY until the end. Since they only had a 0-0 draw in the first leg, one of the teams had to score at least one goal to win. But that didn't turn out to be so easy and after two goalless halftimes, the game went into overtime. Even the two 15-minute additional times remained without result and so it went to a penalty shootout. Guys, that was sooooo exciting but gladly, in the end, Viktoria won the game with a 3-1 on penalties. You can probably imagine how the whole stadium cheered after this and I was also extremely happy to have been part of this historic day!! =D

In TOTEM I was able to attend a project run by my colleague Helena and even though my German-speaking co-worker Martin had to translate a lot, I still understood some of what she mentioned in her very interesting talk. I generally have the feeling that my Czech is getting better and better and that I have the courage to say something or form complete sentences much more often, even if they are not always completely correct. ;D And I mean, I still have a few months to improve my language skills, so I'm sticking with it and trying to speak Czech more and more often. A few words have even crept into my daily usage already, like "nebo", "tak" and "dobře", which I now also use completely unconsciously, even when I'm speaking in German or English. So, who knows, maybe my last blog post will be in Czech ... okay probably not haha but at least I’ll try to include some Czech words here and there. ;) 

The view from our hotel room directly onto the “Umadum” Ferris wheel in the "Werksviertel"

Ice cream and sun -> =D

Final coffee party in Munich <3

Task during the mid -term "take as many selfies as possible" - challenge accepted ;)

First impression of the beautiful city of Olomouc...

Isabelle concentrating on a modern work of art :)

Delicious lunch at Café Jan!

Spring is approaching in Plzeň :)

The celebration of Victoria's victory =D

... You’re probably wondering, why this post is uploaded a bit earlier again. Well, on the 27th of March, I will already be in Halle, because I will stay there for the next week and over Eastern. I’m very excited to meet my family and all my friends from home again, but of course, I’m also looking forward to being back here in Plzeň.

Best regards, my friends and "uvidíme se" in April!

Laila ;)

[jozigist]

Here’s How Some Of Mzansi’s Biggest Celebs Are Celebrating Easter Weekend This Year

Here's How Some Of Mzansi's Biggest Celebs Are Celebrating Easter Weekend This Year Johannesburg, 5 April 2022 | There's so much to love about Easter – the extra-long weekend, the trips away, time spent with family and friends, braais and, of course, chocolate.

With just a few days to go until this year's Easter weekend celebrations, we asked some of Mzansi's biggest celebrities to share what they have planned. Rob Forbes, Jacaranda FM radio personality This year, Rob Forbes has opted for a low-key weekend spent with his family – and his furry friends. "I am planning on spending Friday and Saturday with my parents before they go away with some other family members. My partner and I will be working so we won't be able to go away with them. So, we'll be at home for Easter Sunday and Easter Monday," the Jacaranda FM personality shares. "It's going to be a nice and relaxed weekend. I think the most we're going to do is have an Easter egg hunt, but with tuna in the garden for the cats." Carol Ofori, award-winning voice over artist and radio radio personality Carol Ofori is switching things up this Easter weekend where she is going to be spending time reflecting while enjoying the scenic views of the Mother City. "Easter is a very important time for me and my family. Not only will I be spending some time reflecting as a Christian, but the kids get to enjoy some special time with the family. Every year my family gets together and we celebrate the long weekend either in Durban or in Johannesburg but this time around, we decided that we want to take the kids away and spend Easter away from home so that I can relax from the cooking. So, we are looking forward to celebrating Easter weekend in Cape Town this year. My family and I would like to wish everyone reading this a happy Easter." Jason Goliath, comedian and television personality For local comedian Jason Goliath, any good celebration includes his family and some delicious food, so this Easter weekend will include a whole lot of that for him. "Every year, I spend the Easter long weekend either with family, which always involves some delicious toasted hot cross buns and pickled fish on the Friday, then a big lunch and indulging in Easter eggs on the Sunday," Jason says. However this year, the comedian has opted for a more low-key affair. "This year, I am going on a road trip and staycation with my wife somewhere quiet and remote. We love to alternate between the two so this Easter, we are away for some needed R&R!" Karabo Ntshweng, television and radio personality. Local television and radio personality Karabo Ntshweng sees the Easter long weekend as sort of a second festive season. "Easter is such a special time for my family and I. We spend a lot of time together and it's usually hanging out on Good Friday for a lovely lunch," Karabo shares. "This year, we're hanging out with the family in Pretoria and we're making pickled fish. My brother-in-law makes the most amazing pickled fish that we only have this time of year and it makes it so special because we wait the entire year to have his famous pickled fish. My cousins and nephew also have an Easter egg hunt. I am everybody's favourite aunty so I am responsible for organising the hunt, getting the Easter eggs and making sure everybody has tons of fun. Finally, we all, of course, head to church as well." Sizwe Alakine, musician For superstar Sizwe Alakine, Easter serves as the perfect time to disconnect from his crazy schedule and spend some much needed time with his loved ones. "Easter Sunday starts with a church service in the morning before we head over to mom's for a 7 colour plate." The musician adds that Easter is centered around ensuring that the kids have a good time. "We hide a few treats and sweets around the yard and let the kids have a good old fashioned Easter Egg hunt and I am excited for this year's celebrations." Pearl Modiadie, actress, television and radio personality 'Redemption' actress Pearl Modiadie admits that the way that she celebrates Easter has changed ever since she welcomed her son into the world. "Our family tradition during Easter includes attending a few church services as a family, cooking at home with my sisters and dad and just spending time together," Pearl shares. "Now that I have a little one, the plan this Easter will also include an Easter egg hunt in our garden with his nephews and nieces." Read the full article

[atlanticcanada]

Easter weekend activities abound across Cape Breton

Dressed in traditional costumes that are as colourful as the contents themselves, dozens turned out at St. Mary's Polish Parish in Whitney Pier, N.S., on Saturday for the annual blessing of the Easter baskets.

"It represents joy. It represents the resurrection. It represents new life,” said Marjorie Ardelli, a parish member.

Blessing the baskets has been a Polish custom since the 12th century.

This year, there was an additional basket -- one that will help feed others in the community.

"We, collectively as a Parish, take an item from our basket and we put it in a basket that would go to [the non-profit] Loaves and Fishes,” Ardelli said.

Across town at St. Marguerite Bourgeoys Catholic Church, Rev. Bill Burke said Easter is quite simply the biggest weekend of the year on the Christian calendar.

"It's what gives meaning to our faith,” Burke said. “As St. Paul said, 'If we don't believe in the resurrection, our faith is useless and a waste of time.'"

Burke also predicted strong attendance for mass on Saturday, as well as Easter Sunday.

"Holy Thursday and Good Friday were extremely well attended, so I'm hoping that will follow through,” Burke said.

Others are spending the long weekend getting outdoors.

Late winter snowfalls have allowed Ski Cape Smokey to stay open, though officials admit skiing is an unusual activity to be able to do on the Easter weekend.

"Everybody this time of year is ready for bicycles, going swimming, going to play tennis, and doing these springtime activities,” said Cape Smokey General Manager Martin Kejval. “Everybody is usually finished with winter at this point in time, but I’m really glad to see all the happy faces coming down the hill.”

At the Mayflower Mall in Sydney, the Easter bunny was a big hit as children and parents lined up for the traditional picture.

Then, there was the commercial side of things, with chocolate flying off the shelves at a shop just a short hop away.

On a weekend that's often considered a kick-off to spring, people had to bundle up.

With the wind chill, temperatures in Sydney on Saturday were well below zero.

“This weather is terrible,” Burke said. "At Christmas, some people were raving about how nice and warm it was. I said, 'We'll pay for it at Easter.'"

On a warmer note, back at St. Mary’s Polish Parish, baskets were also being prepared and delivered to the homebound, as well as to students living close to the church who are newcomers to the community.

from CTV News - Atlantic https://ift.tt/kprWU7u

#new brunswick #prince edward island #nova scotia #news #politics #canada #CTVAtlantic

[caiabresebun]

your art style is so cool and so cute omg omg vfvsxemkth

thank you it means a lot ;_;!!

#text #soupynoodles #(shamefully shilling) my commissions are open :3 to everyone. making eye contact w everyone seeing this post rn #also happy friday have a nice weekend everybody!!

[babymetaldoll]

I just want you (Chip Taylor / Reader)

Requested: Yes

Word counting: 3.5K

Summary: What would it be like to be married to Chip Taylor? Would it include a lot of women trying to hit on him?

Warnings: Cursing, spoilers of 68 Kill.

A/N: Hello, beautiful people! sorry, I've been a little absent here, but writing my series has taken most of my time! Also, I feel a little blocked, and my personal life has been a mess. But, here it is: my first Chip Taylor fic. Have you guys seen 68 Kill? I love that movie, and I love Chip so much. He deserves the world. I hope you guys like this little story!

Masterlist

---

It wasn’t like I didn’t know my husband was handsome, ‘cos you had to be blind not to see his face was made by the gods, and all of his features were simply perfect. I just didn’t know every woman would flirt with him everywhere we were all the time.

And they weren’t even subtle about it. No. They made it very obvious when they looked at Chip each time they stopped by his work. They wanted him.

After all those years together, a part of me had made peace with that. I couldn’t stop them. He was hot, he didn’t want their attention, but he wasn’t rude or anything like it. Chip Taylor was a very polite man who was also very blind to the attention his looks gave him.

Chip owned a small pet sitting business that had started to really take off in the last few months. He had some savings that he used to buy a house when we first started dating. He lived there until we got married, and then we bought a bigger place outside the town. That’s when he decided to turn his old home into his own pet sitting business. And it was a hit. Chip is fantastic with animals. He is great with everybody, but pets just… melt with him. I think they can see the kindness of his soul.

Chip Taylor deserves the best things in life ‘cos he is the best man I’ve ever met. I’ve loved him since the day it took him almost half an hour to walk over and talk to me in the bar we met.

- “Every time a pretty face pops up, my brain turns into a potato- he explained, flustered ‘cos he kept stuttering as he asked for my number.

He was too sweet. Too cute. And he loved me. He had a ring that said so. But again, that didn’t stop most women who met him from flirting with him.

- “Here he is. Little Rascal had a great day today”- Chip walked to the front yard with a french bulldog, who kept barking, trying to get an extra treat from him. I smiled from a safe distance, reading a book sitting on a porch while Chip met with the dog owner. And she was as excited as Rascal was.

- “Hi baby! Did you have a good day today?”- the lady held the leash and caressed her dog’s head a few times before returning her attention fully to my husband.

- “Thank you for taking care of him.”

- “You are very welcome, Kim. It’s my job.”

- “No, it’s more than that. Rascal hates strangers, and he has been an angel with you since day one. I tell you, Chip, you are someone special.”

I know my husband blushed, ‘cos he is terrible with compliments. So he just shook his head and scratched the back of his neck. His shirt raised, showing his very toned midsection. And I swear, I had to force myself to stay put on that chair, ‘cos the way that woman looked at my husband was enough to make my blood boil. I wanted to run over and push her away from him. I wished I could tell her to get her dog and get the fuck out of our property.

But no. I didn’t. Instead, I tried to keep on reading, which was honestly impossible. But at least I didn’t move from my chair. I just stared at that scene, trying to control the urges of smashing that woman’s head against her car.

- “So, do you have plans for the weekend?”- the woman asked him, smiling flirtatiously

- “Not really.”- not the smartest answer, I’ll give you that.

- “Great! that means you can’t say no! I am having a small get-together at my place this Friday. You should totally come.”

- “Thank you, Kim, but...”

- “I’ll text you my address. I’m not taking no for an answer!”

Chip was awkward, he felt pushed to say he’d go, but I knew he didn’t want to. If he did, he wouldn’t have hesitated. Besides, he wouldn’t usually make plans without asking me first. A part of me wanted to run and help him out of that awkward situation, but I knew he had to do it on his own. Yes, he was a grown-up, but after knowing everything he had gone through before we met, a big part of me wanted to take care of him constantly. I didn’t want anything wrong ever to happen to Chip. He didn’t deserve anything bad.

- “Thanks, Kim, really, but… I think I should ask my wife first”- he whispered and smiled kindly at the woman, who didn’t hide the disappointment from her face. I have the feeling she never actually saw the ring on my husband’s finger.

- “Wife? I had no idea you were married, Chip”- he chuckled and nodded as the woman tried to act normal again. But she couldn’t.

- “Yes, I’ve been married for the last ten months.”

- “Just ten months? Well, she is a lucky woman…”

- “Thank you”- Chip petted Rascal’s head and added- “But I am sure I am the lucky one to have her. I still can’t believe she actually married me.”

- “Come on, Chip! Any woman would be happy with a man like you.”

And that was when that woman crossed the line and rubbed my husband’s arm for longer than necessary. He froze and looked at her, not knowing how to get out of that situation. Chip is a sweet soul who still has some significant issues when it comes to setting boundaries.

I jumped from my chair and walked over quickly, with a big smile on my face. The woman turned to me and raised an eyebrow, clearly not knowing who I was.

- “Hello, sorry to interrupt you, boo, but it’s getting late for our date.”

We didn’t have a date that night. But well, now we did.

Chip frowned, confused, and waited for me to explain a little more what I was saying. But, instead, I just smiled and held his hand, making sure that the woman’s hand was as far from him as possible.

- “Hi, nice to meet you. I’m (Y/N), Chip’s wife.”- I said and waved.

- “Kimberly, nice to meet you.”

- “So you are Rascal’s mom. He is a sweetheart”- I kneeled and petted Rascal’s head behind his ears, right where I knew he liked it. Kim just nodded and smiled.

- “Ok, we should go, it’s getting late. Bye Chip”- she waved quickly, walking to her car. My husband said goodbye and wrapped an arm around my waist as I stood by his side and rested my head on his shoulder.

- “We are not going to her “little get-together,” by the way”- I whispered, and he chuckled.

- “Good, ’cause I didn’t want to go either. I actually had plans for the weekend, but I didn’t want to discuss them with her.”- I looked at him, raising an eyebrow, and felt his big hands caressing the lower part of my back.

- “Which plans?”

- “I’m planning to stay in bed with my wife the whole weekend, watch movies, kiss her a lot, and maybe asking for pizza.”

- “You had me at ˝stay in bed,” Chip Taylor”- I giggled and kissed his cheek- “She was flirting with you, by the way.”

- “I don’t care if she tried to flirt. I only have eyes for you, moonbeam”- I chuckled at the cheesy nickname and felt his lips on mine. They felt warm and soft and filled with love.

But it wasn’t always so easy to shake off the thoughts of a woman flirting with Chip. Unfortunately, sometimes it was harder to remain calm. Some women were more aggressive with their flirting. Some were actually way hotter than me, and sometimes that makes you doubt yourself.

I didn’t know Liza or Violet, so I never knew if they were prettier, more intelligent, or sexier than me. I couldn’t compare or compete with them either, ‘cos they were dead. But some random women made my life a little more challenging from time to time.

- “Chip? Chip Taylor?”- a soft woman’s voice interrupted our conversation and forced my husband to turn around, feeling now also her hand on his shoulder. We were at our favorite bar, having a drink, celebrating the end of the week and another successful month of Chip’s small business. We were chatting about our days, sitting at our usual table, when interrupted.

- “Anna Davis? Hi! How are you?! Long time no see!”- my husband stood up and hugged the stranger like long-lost friends reunited. I had never heard of any “Anna” before. I was trying to remember if I did.

- “I haven’t seen you in ages! What are you doing here?”- Anna said and laughed- “I can’t believe it’s really you!”- and so, they hugged again.

- “Hi”- I waved from the table and smiled at the two of them as they moved apart.

- “I’m so sorry, babe. (Y/N), this is Anna, my neighbor when I was in middle school. Anna, this is (Y/N), my wife.”

- “Hi, nice to meet you”- she shook my hand and smiled at me for a second, and then turned to my husband again and continued catching up.

Chip looked happy and excited to see her. He didn’t have many friends, he still didn’t know how to trust most people, probably why he decided to work with animals instead. He had a good relationship with Jim, the boy who helped him clean, and with a few classmates from the community college. But that was it.

- “I can’t believe you are here!”- Chip was beaming- “Are you with someone?”

- “My friends were leaving. I’m visiting one of my best friends, who moved here a few years ago. But she has to work tomorrow morning, so she wanted to go home.”

- “Do you wanna sit with us for a while?”- Chip asked her and turned to me smiling. Of course, I couldn’t say no. Well, he didn’t actually ask; he just looked at me, and I moved my chair to make room for one more on the table.

- “I would love to! Thank you!.”

I loved the idea of meeting Anna, at first. I didn’t know many people from my husband’s past, basically just his parents. The fact she was his friend growing up sounded amazing, and it meant I could finally talk with someone who knew him when he was a kid and could tell me more stories about my husband.

But Anna had other plans. My husband blinded Anna. She basically ignored me, and he was so excited to see her and talk to her, he didn’t even notice I was being left out of the whole conversation.

At first, it was ok. Chip wanted to catch up with Anna, know what she was doing with her life, and all that. So he asked for her parents and family. Apparently, they were pretty close growing up.

- “Remember each Friday we had a secret sleepover?”- she asked and laughed. My husband nodded and sipped his drink.

- “Yeah! I would sneak into your house and watch a movie.”

- “You know, my parents knew you were coming to hang out after curfew. They just didn’t think it was wrong”- she added and laughed- “I’m just glad they didn’t know about the day we tried smoking for the first time!”

Chip burst into laughter, and so did Anna. I just stared at them and sighed. Neither of them explained the story. They were just too caught up in each other to even notice I was there.

Yes, I was feeling jealous of Chip’s long-lost childhood friend. I knew it made no sense, but somehow, he completely forgot I existed when she was there. Yes, it was probably ‘cos he was surprised to bump into her at a bar on a random night after so many years.

But the more I looked at her, the more I realized she was gorgeous. She had long legs, beautiful golden hair, green eyes. The girl could go to a freaking beauty pageant and win it. Besides, Anna wasn’t acting friendly, if you ask me. She kept rubbing my husband’s arm, repeating how excited she was to see him, and saying over and over again how good he looked… it was a little too much.

- “I tell you, Chip, you haven’t changed a bit!”- Anna smiled and looked into his chocolate eyes, and I swear she nearly sighed. I couldn’t blame her. He is dreamy. But he is my husband, and it felt wrong.

- “Neither have you,”- he added and turned to me for a second. I looked kindly into his eyes, knowing he was happy, and that was enough to make me feel happy too.

- “Can I get you another drink, moonbeam?”- he asked me and stood up.

- “Yes, penguin, please”- Chip nodded and blushed as I called him by his favorite nickname and then turned to Anna.

- “Another?”

- “Sure!”

And suddenly, we were on our own.

- “So, how long have you been married?”- Anna asked me and looked at me innocently.

- “A little over ten months.”

- “Just married! Congratulations. You must still be living the honeymoon!”

- “Yes, we are.”- I giggled and turned to look at Chip, waiting for our drink at the bar. It wasn’t hard being stuck at the honeymoon phase with him. Every day, he made every day feel like the first day we were together, even after three years of dating and ten months married.

- “We used to date when we were kids,”- Anna simply said and chuckled - “It was very childish, but I was his first kiss.”

- “Really?”- I smiled at her, making my best not to look jealous at all. “That’s so cute!”

- “He is adorable. He was the sweetest boy growing up.”- Anna added and kept her eyes on Chip. But for a few seconds, I could see the longing in them, and my struggle not to show how jealous I was got a little harder.

- “So when was the last time you saw Chip?”- I asked and kept my eyes on her, reading her expressions. It took her a few extra seconds to stop staring at him to turn and look at me.

- “When I moved out of town when I was fifteen.”- she sighed and chuckled- “Seems it was a lifetime ago.”

- “Ok, here are your drinks,”- Chip appeared and smiled- “Plus, I ordered some more nachos, ‘cos I’m getting hungry.”- I chuckled and held his hand upon the table, playing with his fingers between mine. Chip looked at me and opened his mouth to say something when Anna interrupted him.

- “Remember that summer you broke your arm ‘cos you fell from the tree in Shawn’s backyard?”

And my husband laughed, forgetting what he was going to tell me.

I stood in front of the mirror and tried to fix my makeup. I looked tired. I was tired. It was Friday night, and I wasn’t twenty-three anymore. I was weary, and all I could think of was getting into my bed with my husband and getting good twelve-hour sleep.

But he and Anna were still talking and having a blast together, remembering the good old times. Now, if you ask me, I had the feeling Anna wanted to do more than just talking to my husband, but he was oblivious to any of her intentions. That was until I walked out of the bathroom and saw Anna’s arm wrapped around Chip as they were dancing.

She was dancing with my husband, and he was laughing. Ok, that hurt. It hurt a lot.

I sat at our table and drank what was left of my drink. I stared at them for a moment and evaluated my options. I could storm out of that place, maybe make a scene and yell. But no, I trusted my husband. I knew he wasn’t trying to hurt me or even cheat on me with her. No. He was naive and a little awkward. But by the way Anna’s hands moved on his body, clearly, she wasn’t naive at all.

- “Oh! I’m sorry!”- Anna said laughing when they reached back our table- “I just asked Chip to dance with me ‘cos I love that song.”

- “That’s ok”- I smiled at her and held my husband’s hand tight upon the table.

- “But Chip is such a great dancer! He really knows how to move!”- Anna was asking for it. She wanted to be smacked. But I behaved.

- “He really does,”- I answered and smiled

- “I hope you are not jealous!”- I turned to her and frowned, pretending to be confused

- “Of course not! Why would I?”

- “I don’t know! It’s just that… he was mine way before he was yours and…”

- “He isn’t mine”- I cut her off, and for once, my voice stopped being nice and friendly- “And he is definitely not yours. He is not a dog, Anna, he is a person, and the only owner of his soul is himself.”

Anna stared at me in silence, and Chip wide opened his eyes, surprised by my tone of voice.

- “What I’m trying to say is that… I met him when…”

- “I know what you are trying to imply Anna, you’ve been trying to do it ever since you sat at our table. You feel like you need to prove something, but you don’t. Really.”

Chip held my hand tight and kissed it sweetly. He didn’t say anything to me. He just looked at me with apologetic eyes as I cut him a short smile.

- “Ok, I think I better go now”- Anna stood up and just waved- “It was great seeing you again, Chip.”

My husband smiled and waved as Anna walked away. Then, when he was sure she had left the place, he turned to me. I sipped what was left of my drink and sighed.

- “Sorry if I was rude”- my words were a whisper only Chip could hear.

- “No, moonbeam. You weren’t rude at all. I’m sorry.”

- “Chip Taylor, you didn’t do anything wrong”- I leaned and kissed his lips softly, cupping his face with both hands.

- “I feel like I did.”

- “No, boo, really. She was… clearly trying to get under your belt.”

- “I shouldn’t have danced with her, but she pushed me...”- Chip excused himself and kissed my hand again, as I still held his face and caressed her cheeks with my thumbs.

- “Yeah, you should work on that “No” thing a little harder,”- I whispered and chuckled.

- “Sorry if she made you feel jealous. I had a huge crush on her when we were kids.”

- “She said she was your first kiss”- Chip opened my mouth, but no word came from it for a few seconds.

- “Funny, I told her that just ‘cos she said I was her first kiss, but actually my first kiss was with her cousin Alice.”

I couldn’t hold back the laughter as Chip looked at me with guilty eyes as if that was the biggest secret he had about his past.

- “Well, I bet if I run, I can still catch her!! I need to tell her the news!!”- I said and stood up, just to feel Chip’s arms around me, protectively.

- “Let her think that. We all know who all my kisses belong to now.”

Chip held me tight and close to him as his lips rubbed mine slowly. I felt my head spin as his tongue slowly touched mine, deepening the kiss. I couldn’t help but moan at the sensation of Chip’s sweet and passionate kiss. He made sure to make me feel how much he loved him every time he kissed me. In a weird way, Chip’s kisses always felt like our first and last. I think he was always trying to show me his feelings, ‘cos his previous trauma taught him he didn’t know when a kiss could be the last.

- “I love you so much, Mrs. Taylor,”- he whispered, and the title made my knees feel weak- “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

- “I love you more, Mr. Taylor,”- I replied and kissed his lips sweetly one more time- “And just between you and me, I am completely yours.”- I confessed and giggled nervously.

- “I am yours too, moonbeam. You own my heart, and I only want you.”- he whispered and kissed me one more time.

- “You just want me?”- I repeated, and he nodded, looking into my eyes filled with love- “Of all those women who wanna do you, you just want me?”

- “Which women?”- he asked me, clearly confused

- “A lot of women out there keep giving you the fuck eyes.”

- “What?! No way”

- “Do you think Kim invited you to her house for a small get-together? She wanted to get under your belt, penguin.”

- “But I am your penguin, that means I am not looking for any other woman. I just want you.”

- “Just me,”- I repeated again, and he nodded.

- “Just you, Mrs. Taylor”- I sighed, pleased, and closed my eyes for a second “Wanna go home?”

- “You still have to dance with me,”- I pouted, and he held my hand.

- “Whatever my wife wants.”

--

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy @meowiemari @archer561 @all-tings-diego

#Chip Taylor #Matthew Gray Gubler #68 kill #chip taylor x reader #chip taylor x fem!reader #Matthew Gray Gubler Fluff #fluff #matthew Gray Gubler fanfiction #fanfiction #68 kill fanfiction #babymetaldoll writes

[heymeowmao]

2022.03.18 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324748440793121183

Let’s stream a little~

LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening. I am Modern Brothers’ Liu Yuning. Welcome~

Comment: Is this a real person? LYN: Are human models made so realistically nowadays? 

Comment: Did you just finish swimming? LYN: ... Oh- can you hear the laugh track? This? Can you hear it? No? Let me fix it... If I don’t have it then the stream today will lack it’s soul. /adjusts some settings/ Is it there now? Alright. Perfect. LYN: Someone just asked me if I had just come back from swimming... do you understand “fashion”? This beanie is really expensive! I was planning to wear it to the airport, but when I put it on I realized it actually does look a lot like a swimming cap. Looks like a swimming cap with goggles on the head. So I figured if I couldn’t wear it out, I could at least wear it for a stream. LYN: Why do I get the feeling- like, whenever anyone else wears something it’s super fashionable, but when I wear something it’s a flop with you. Anyone else can wear whatever and you’ll think it’s super fashionable but with me it’s like I fell into a swimming pool. I already told you I’m afraid of water! I’ve told you that before and you’re still calling it a swim cap.... :c Comment: Is it because you’re lacking the attitude/temperament? LYN: I’m not lacking in attitude, right? I think I’m ok. I know I’m not good looking, but I still think I have a good grasp on my attitude- I never lost it. 

LYN: No one’s happy to see my stream today, everyone’e coming in and commenting on my outfit. This generation sure judges by appearance. There’s no 人情世故 (method, reason, and experience of dealing with the world) left. 

Comment: What were you doing two days ago? LYN: Why is what I’m doing any of your business? Don’t ask about things you shouldn’t. 

Comment: Only a weekend with you can be counted as complete. LYN: See? This person knows how to talk. I saw that today was Friday, so I thought I’d come and stream a little. Isn’t it nice?  LYN: Only for a bit. I don’t think I can stay for very long. Comment: How long is “a bit”? LYN: Not long, but I can swing at least two hours. In two hours, you have just finished learning how to hold your breath (for swimming).

Comment: Ning-ge, I’ve already been staring at the situation on your head for a while now. LYN: See- the content of my stream is not only me chatting. It’s also you staring at my head. You can stare at my goggles, then the glasses, then my eyes, and you’re already dizzy. LYN: This is called “流言蜚语 (liú yán fēi yǔ)” [“rumors and slander”]. I’m going to teach you how to face “rumors and slander.” You hear it all the time, but now I’ve shown you what it means. There are six eyes (六眼, also pronounced “liù yǎn”)- one-two, three-four, and I already had two to begin with.

Comment: You look like the neighbor’s big idiot. LYN: :c If you had such a handsome gege as your neighbor then you’d have trouble, wouldn’t you? You wouldn’t go out to the club, you’d just stay home- sit at your window and watch when this gege leaves and comes back to his house. Maybe you’ll go block the entrance to your neighborhood, just hanging around to catch a glimpse. And I’m the “big idiot”...  LYN: Also, I know I’m sort of a public figure and I can’t say things that are too offensive, but you can’t be offensive either! This is a bit of a personal attack, now. It’d be fine if you were calling me ugly or something... but you’re calling me an idiot!?  LYN: The world is already hard enough. There’s already so much pressure from work and life, you don’t need to come and make trouble for others. Alright? Just make trouble for yourself, you don’t need to come into my stream and make trouble for me. 

Comment: How come you came to stream? LYN: I finished up a recording and came to stream, nothing else. It’s the weekend, right. I will do my best to try and stream at least once a week, as long as I have time. But as for what I want to stream, really I have no content. There’s no drama or song coming out, I just wanted to chat and help you spend the weekend. A lot of you might be eating dinner right now, and you can use my stream as your background noise. Watch a little and then eat a few bites.  Comment: You’re a dish. LYN: So, you’re eating dinner right now and just by looking at my face you can eat two bowls of rice? My goodness. If you’re at home you can save on quite a bit of money. [t/n: bc if they are at a restaurant and have a big appetite just from watching ning-ge, that’s $$$] Look at my face and eat two bowls of rice.... /has a sudden realization/ Are you saying that my face is like lao gan ma (hot sauce; pairs well with rice)? Is that what you mean? 

Comment: How come you’re so white today? LYN: Uhm.. the last time I streamed I was wearing shade no.13. I’m not wearing it today so it’s a little better. Also, I have the whitening filter up pretty high. It’s up to max, it can’t get any brighter than this. Any brighter and I’ll turn blue. 

LYN: You’re still talking about the beanie- let me tell you, it was very expensive. Don’t make me think my money was wasted on it. When I first got on to the stream you were already talking about it. It’s been 20 minutes and you’re still criticizing it. It’s okay, I’m joking. Some people seem to be having complicated thoughts about my hat. This is a ploy for my stream- I did it on purpose so you can have something to talk about. It’s a problem if you come in and find no problems with me. I need you to have discussions so I can become a hot topic. I need to give you something to talk about. Comment: Let’s see you without it. LYN: I know I can be a little arrogant/offensive in my stream... but you can’t be. I’m doing it to make a good show, but if you do it then you’re being a little too presumptuous. What am I, your Barbie doll? I’ll wear a skirt for you today and tomorrow you’ll be pulling my hair out? My stream is going so well but you want me to take my hat off, I really don’t know why. I won’t take it off. It’s there to complete my fashionable outfit. Don’t be like this- don’t try to control me. You can’t.

Comment: Liu-laoban, have you been working out lately? LYN: Xiao Liu, just call me Xiao Liu, please. I haven't had the time to work out lately. The reason I’ve had less to shoot these couple of days is because- up until now it’s been scheduled pretty tightly. But originally I was supposed to be on a break these past two days. I was going to be shooting for a variety show from the 18th-23rd, but because of the pandemic situation, the shooting got pushed. Even though we hadn’t planned on it, I decided to stay and shoot some scenes for the drama instead.  LYN: Some people might be on break from work or school right now, which is nice. Please stay at home. Preventative measures are the first and most critical step, alright? I want you all to be safe.

Comment: Are you singing today? LYN: It depends. I can sing, or I can not. I’ll see how my condition is because.... no, I can sing.

Comment: It looks like you’re photo-shopped in there. LYN: Do I? My background is just a green screen.

Comment: Liu Yuning is so handsome. LYN: Hehe. Nonsense! Does that need to be said?! Do I not know? I look in the mirror every day, I know how I look! Nonsense! /happy about it/

Comment: Where’s the tv show? LYN: Do you just come into my stream to watch movies/tv shows? How about this- next time I'll set it up for you. Right here, next to my head so you can watch. Next time, because I took the equipment down already. Since I figured I wasn’t using it... But next time I stream I’ll get Tom & Jerry, Crayon Shin-chan, and Spongebob ready for you. So you can come and watch.

LYN: /laughs/ /sighs/ Alright, please stop talking about the hat now. 

Comment: Lao-da someone’s trying to impersonate you. LYN: I saw that- someone was pretending to be me to chat with you all, right? They can, but I don’t know what they were thinking. They used English to communicate with you?? They’re thinking too highly of me. Also, my friends, please grow some brains. You always say I’m like the neighborhood idiot but please. If I had that level of English skill... would I be here today? They wrote a whole page of English- a lot of those words I didn’t even recognize. I don’t even know how to read them. So please be aware so as not to be tricked. LYN: Another thing- I’ve noticed that my fans on weibo are growing a little too much. I just want to say to my fans- I don’t know what company CEO is out there, but are you buying me fans? Or even if you are my fans, please don’t buy numbers for me. I don’t need you to. Honestly, I don’t need you to buy fans for me. Alright? Don’t do it. I feel like you’re trying to off me. Please don’t try to buy fans for me. Honestly speaking, weibo fans... from an artist’s perspective, passing 10 millions subscribers is good enough. Just... there’s not much of a difference between 10 and 20 million in this industry. It’s not like you get paid according to how many fans you have. So please don’t buy numbers for me.  Comment: They’re all real people. LYN: Even if you say that, I don’t believe you. Please don’t buy numbers. The other possibility is that someone is trying to hurt me. Please don’t buy me numbers, I’m begging you. Seeing as we are all human, please have mercy on me. I’m begging you.Some people may have watched my streams, so they came to like me and subscribed to my weibo and I’m already very happy about that. But I don’t need anyone to buy fans for me- that’s likely to ruin me. Ok? Don’t do it. LYN: I’ll swear right here, I have never bought fans for myself. There’s REALLY no need. It (follower count) doesn’t represent anything, so please don’t. I thank you. Comment: I don’t have any money to buy them with. LYN: Even if you did have money, don’t buy them. I just feel like I need to tell you. Even if these words get dug out someday, all they’ll seem like is an excuse. I really believe the number of fans doesn’t matter, because the work that’ll come to you is all the same. It (follower count) really doesn’t need to be so high. Such a scary number. All the work is the same, and (having a huge number of followers) won’t make me become any better of a person (professionally). [t/n: that is to say, at some point in the industry you plateau/reach the highest point, and no number of followers can make you peak any higher.]

Comment: The sound of the mic is small. LYN: Is it? /turns up the mic volume/ How about now? Is it better? If it’s still too small you can turn your phone volume up. Are you afraid of losing battery life? Also, when you watch my streams, try to use head/earphones as much as possible. It’s better if you do, because you’ll be hearing what I’m hearing. It gives you a sense of tranquility, let’s say. Comment: Earphones aren’t good for you. I use speakers. LYN: I know some people connect my stream to their tv to watch. You don’t need to connect to speakers, don’t bother other people. Let’s be people with class. 

Comment: The video is so HQ! LYN: Yeah, I upgraded my tech. So my stream is very clear now, very high quality. As long as your internet is strong enough, you’ll see me in hq.

Comment: Can you take the hat off, it doesn’t look nice. LYN: I.. I want to wear it for a while. Don’t worry about me. If you really can’t take it, grab a piece of tape. Yellow tape, and you can start taping up your phone starting from here. Block it. Just look at my face. You can manually block the hat. Or, take a napkin and block it from your view. Alright? I’m not going to take it off. LYN: There’s a saying I’m familiar with- “strong flavors are hard to season.” I know this because I’ve been a chef- some people like to see me wear hats, some people don’t. Some people like me with glasses, some people don’t. Everyone’s different. When I go on a show and wear skinny jeans- some people can’t take it and tell me not to wear them. They start trying to teach me how to coordinate my outfit. But some people like to see my long legs. There’s nothing you can do to please everyone. I was always wearing skinny jeans, so for a time I thought about wearing wide legged pants. Change up my style a little, you know. So I tried it. Um...  it really doesn’t suit me. You know what it looked like- a clothesline. Just a pair of pants hanging there, blowing in the wind. It was like that. So I’ve been trying out some different pant styles- I’ll go shopping for them online. But what I wanted to say was it’s hard to please everyone. I’m not your toy figure- you can’t take my jacket off one day, and then change my hands* out the next. [t/n: because model figures come with multiple sets of hands so you can pose them differently] LYN: Another thing is- you don’t need to teach me how to get along in this industry or what to do. Honestly speaking, I know more about it than you do. It’s been 3-4 years after all. I may not be getting along WELL, but I’m surrounded by people who are doing just the same. So if you want me to do something, or do not understand why I’m doing something the way I am, I think... that’s your problem.

Comment: Are you not going to cut your long hair? LYN: I am. I’m waiting for the next drama before I cut it. I said before, I need to use my natural hair for my current drama. When it’s over, then I’ll cut it.

Comment: I’ve been dragged over by my friend to watch your stream. LYN: What a great friend. Really. I think the hardest thing to do between people, between friends, is to find good things to share with each other. They discovered a good thing and dragged you over to enjoy it with. A friend well made, I’d say. What a good person.

Comment: I’m in an online class watching your stream. LYN: Stop watching. Take your class. What are you doing everyday, just idling away? Don’t. Close my stream immediately and pay attention to class. You can always watch the playback.

Comment: I’m watching with my little sister. LYN: Ok, ok, ok. My stream is something for all ages. LYN: How about this- I think there are a lot of new friends watching my stream today. Can you all type “1″ into the comments. I want to see how many.

LYN: Some people think they’re so funny. Someone typed “You look like a giant frog. Hahahahaha.” They said I’m a giant frog! /can’t laugh, can’t get angry/ I’ve dealt me such a blow I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to retaliate. This is the hardest type of comment- they said I look like a giant frog. Do I? Yeah, a little. But if I say calling someone a frog is an insult then that’s not fair to the frog either. Alright, then. Every time I stream someone likens me to a type of animal or insect. Last time it was a celestial dog, and then it was a mudfish, now it’s a frog. We’re getting more and more lowly.  LYN: I welcome my friends to Animal Planet.

LYN: Anyway, there seem to be a lot of new friends watching my stream today. You’re in luck. How about I sing a song or two, to check my condition. We’ll go from there. First I’ll sing “小世界神兽. (Small World of Mythical Beasts)” [t/n: a cartoon? I think?] We’ll see if I’m in any condition to sing. Let’s go! LYN: Um... How about 传承 (Heritage)? The Palace Museum theme song. It’s been a long time since I sang this song. I’ll sing it for everyone. // Let me turn on the captions- so you can see the lyrics and it’ll help you imagine the beautiful scenery. Let me change my glasses, too. - /mic check, lol/

1. 传承 (Heritage)

Comment: Another! LYN: Don’t rush. If you make me sing too much at first I won’t have enough strength to make the stream go on longer.

Comment: Do 红尘客栈 (Red Dust Inn) (Jay Chou). LYN: I don’t really know how to sing that song and it’s also a little hard (to sing). It’s hard I don’t know if I can sing it... I’m not very familiar with it, a simpler song might be better. I’ve definitely heard it, but I’m not familiar with it. LYN: Let me try it.

Comment: Your skin’s so nice! LYN: The blur tool is on. My natural skin is just average.

Comment: Do you take commissions for voice acting, how much? LYN: Someone’s trying to advertise in here. I don’t believe it. I thought about making a quick buck with some voice acting before, but I didn’t really make much from it. The studio I met up with was scamming me. Of course, that one experience can’t be representative of all the studios out there, but I’m just saying if you’re looking for work and a pie falls from the sky... don’t trust it too easily. Also, if you’re good enough to offer 300RMB for one day of work, you wouldn’t be trying to advertise here in my stream. I’m sure you’re employee quota would already be full. I’m sure the situation is like this- you go to work for them for 300RMB a day, but the caveat is you have to download an app and take classes first. They’ll want you to pay a fee first, for the classes which will cost 10RMB a month; and only when you have passed those classes are you qualified to voice-act. I’m sure it must be like that. /Daimi barking/ Right, Daimi? Yeah, Daimi says I’m right. Comment: Is this something you’ve experienced? LYN: I really have.. /Daimi growling/ Right? // But if you’re taking a break at home or working from home I’m sure you’ve seen the work-from-home ads that say you can make hundreds of dollars. I’m telling you now it’s unlikely. If one day is 300RMB, then one month you’ll make 9000RMB. That’s a lot. Before you try to take advantage of someone, think about whether your wallet is being taken advantage of first.

- starts singing along to T.Swift’s Love Story [t/n: I was listening to this at work and laughed out loud. I’m sorry, Ning-ge. “Lomeo” XDD]

Comment: Lao-da, remember to sing 红尘客栈. LYN: Do I OWE you? Did we sign a contract saying that I must sing that song in my stream today? If I don’t sing it will you sue me? I’ll sing it. LYN: Usually if someone asks me out to the KTV, I won’t go. I’m thinking if I had the strength to go to a KTV I might as well do a stream instead and share the music with my fans. If I go to a KTV the most I’ll have is 6 or 7 spectators. If I come stream that’s a couple thousand, at least. 

Comment: You can’t see when I post a comment. LYN: I can see! But they go page by page. If one page has ten or so comments I can see one or two and the rest get swept away. I can see them all, though. Are you looking for me for something? You want me to see your comment so badly... do you have work for me or?? If you have work for me, go to my studio weibo and leave a message there.

- sees a comment about him wearing the sunglasses LYN: I AM wearing sunglasses but I’m not blind. I think someone thought that since I was wearing sunglasses I was a blind man sitting here. That’s not it. I’m wearing sunglasses so you can’t see my eyes. You can’t guess what I’m thinking. ♪ ~ Let me quietly cover your eyes, so you can guess who I am ~ ♪ (lyrics from 我悄悄地蒙上你的眼睛)

LYN: Let me look for an arrangement for 红尘客栈. I’ll try it. 2. 红尘客栈 (Red Dust Inn) (Jay Chou) - sings halfway LYN: It’s not very good. I really don’t know how the second half goes. I told you I couldn’t do it- I keep going off key. Hold on- let me see how it goes next. LYN: Ok, I got it. - starts the song again

LYN: If you just listen for entertainment, it’s quite nice. This is much funner than singing in a KTV. My equipment is better than a KTV’s too! Comment: There are also a lot of people to cheer for you. LYN: What do you mean? That everyone in my stream is people who will compliment me? And if I go to a KTV to sing the people there don’t? Stop messing with me. If I go to a KTV... they also cheer for me. :) Just not as much as you. Comment: That means you go to a KTV? LYN: I’m also a normal person. I got to movie theaters and KTVs... I’m a normal person! Why CAN’T I go? Is the KTV a bad place? It’s not. A lot of people might think bars aren’t good places, but I used to work in a bar before. I think anyone who says that people who go to bars aren’t good people are too biased. You can choose to go or not. I’ve met a lot of people who go to bars- they’re not there for bad things. They’re there to uh.. read. They might be writing a thesis. It’s all possible. If you’re an upright person you’ll be one no matter what you do. If you’re not an upright person, even going to school isn’t an “upright” thing to do.

Comment: Exactly how many pairs of glasses do you have? LYN: I have quite a lot. I always go online to buy glasses. Why do I have so many? The thing with people is- as an actor or someone on camera- you have to know where you’re disadvantages are. My disadvantage is that my eyes are a little small. I’m not talking about the mono-lid vs double-lid thing, no. My eyes are purely, truly small. If your eyes are small, when you get on camera it makes your face look big. For example if I stand next to another person- their eyes might take up a lot of their face but my face in comparison is like a pancake with two sesame seeds. Do you get what I’m saying? A pancake with two sesame seeds- you’ll think the pancake is big. But the same pancake with two fried eggs on it- you won’t think the pancake is very large. It’s the proportions. So why do I wear glasses? Because I want to create the illusion of eggs. It’ll make my features look fuller and my face smaller. You’ll see my eyes THROUGH the glasses and the visual it creates will make it feel like my eyes aren’t that small. I’ve thought it all out.

Comment: Why don’t you see my comment. LYN: I’ve said before, there’s no way I can read each one. If I could see them all but I can’t reply to them all. I think if I reply to you then you can be counted as a normal person or someone I can joke around with. But some people I don’t reply to because what they’re typing isn’t “human” speak. So I ignore them- I choose to answer their nonsense with silence. Comment: I haven’t been replied to, am I not normal? LYN: No, I mean- are you stirring up trouble for me, now??

Comment: Ning-ge, aren’t you great at horse scenes? LYN: What’s up? I already said I was afraid of the horse and now you’re saying that I’m great at the horse-riding scenes? Who told you? Or did you see something on reuters? What, did I stand up on the horse’s back, balancing a jar? I didn’t.

Comment: Can you flip me (reply to me). LYN: Alright, I’ve flipped you. What are you, a pancake that’s been frying on only one side? I’ll flip you. Flip. Comment: I want to be flipped, too. LYN: A lot of my fans are girls, right? This one wants to be flipped too- that’s why, each woman is like a book. No matter what’s written inside, they hope to be flipped (read). Comment: I’m also a book. LYN: I hope you’re not a horror story. You can be a manhwa, though. Comment: I’m a book you can’t understand. LYN: If I don’t understand it, I won’t read it. You are very complicated, so you can sit there. Stay in a corner of the library where no one pays attention to you because they can’t understand you. // LYN: All I said was that everyone is like a book, and now people are thinking about what type of book they are. I’m... Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio (聊斋志异). I’m a horror novel. Comment: I’m your script. LYN: I won’t take that job. If YOU’RE my script, I won’t take the job no matter how much you pay me. // Joking. I’m joking.

LYN: Someone requested 孤勇者(Lonely Warrior). I sang a bit of this the last time, but it wasn’t very good. Let’s try again today. Do you want to hear it? If you do I’ll sing it. LYN: You do? In that case let’s find something else... I don’t want to sing something you all want to hear :p LYN: Hold on. Just kidding. Let’s give it a try.  LYN: I might not sing it as well as I did the last time, because after that once I haven’t listened to this song again. Last time was a bit strained, but my stream is just for entertainment only. It doesn’t represent my actual singing skill. If there are any producers or music teachers out there, I just want to say I am only having fun here. If you have work for me, please still contact me.

Comment: Wearing sunglasses in the daytime? LYN: Are you in the Arctic??

3. 孤勇者 (Lonely Warrior) (Eason Chan) LYN: Still not familiar with it. :| But a lot better than the last time!

Comment: You’re trending. LYN: Am I? :) I’m not dreaming am I? Not yet? Well, it’s okay as long as people know that I’m streaming. Who do you think I am? I don’t have any works or songs out lately, it’s already impressive enough that I’m getting hits whenever I stream. Who do I think I am, right? Comment: Right! LYN: You don’t need to back me up here. I said, “Who do I think I am?” and people are replying “Yes, who are you.” You don’t need to agree with me here. I can say that about myself but you don’t need to support me. LYN What sort of fans are you??

LYN: I don’t care about the trending topic- though I am very happy when I get on the list- I just hope that more and more people can come watch me stream. It’s like when you release a song- you always hope that more people can listen to it.

Comment: Your eyes really aren’t very big. LYN: /hides his pain with lyrics from Lonely Warrior/ ♪ Who says only those who stand in the light are the heroes~ ♪ How can I switch this up? ♪ Who says big eyes... ♪ Comment: They’re big.. like eggs... LYN: Maybe quail eggs. It’s alright. It doesn’t matter.

- someone says he went off-tune LYN: Your ears must be broken. How could I have gone off-key? /purposely goes off/

-- bathroom break -- LYN: My friends, I think my neighbors are fighting. I didn’t even have to say anything, you heard it too, right? The sound was too much it even came through my microphone. LYN: The last time I went I came back and found that a lot of people had left. Today can you promise me you won’t leave? Let’s pinky promise. Don’t go. Please stay, I’m begging you. I’m only going to stop a fight. It’s an act of kindness. I need to go stop a fight, since we are neighbors, after all. Don’t go. I’ll play a video for you. - comes back Comment: It’s the same old act. LYN: Write something new for me then! Comment: Did you go fix your hair? LYN: No, when I was telling them not to fight they grabbed my head and ripped my hat off. I had to put it back on. Comment: Do you know why they’re fighting? LYN: I don’t have it in me to ask. What am I going to do? Investigate a case? It’s their own personal matter, I have no right to interfere. Comment: Next time that happens bring Daimi. LYN: If only Daimi was so obedient.

Comment: Where are you? LYN: I’m in Hengdian. I’ve been acting and recording osts. When I first started acting people were doubting me because first of all I’m a singer, and second of all I’m not even a professional. But I just want to say it’s all the same- it’s a way to make a living. Even if I sing I can’t even hold a concert right now. I have nothing else to do anyway, so I act. If I were in my twenties maybe I could waste some time but I’m so old now I have to work when I can. A lot of singers do variety shows but I don’t so I’ll act more. I enjoy acting- I’m not saying I’m any good at it, but the process makes me happy. It helped me to find another profession- isn’t that a happy thing? LYN: A lot of opportunities have been coming to find me. Recently there was a musical. I was really interested in going but I truly don’t think I have the time. A lot of new things I want to try out, but I can’t take time away from the drama to learn a new skill.  LYN: There’s a physical limit too. You can’t be in two places at once. Unless you’re Sun Wukong. Or maybe a shadow clone. You can make clones of yourself and do 5 or 6 things at once, how cool would that be?

LYN: Let’s sing something! I’m in the mood for singing today. It’s been a long time since I sang in my streams.

Comment: Your stream is too lit isn’t it? LYN: My stream isn’t lit, I am. LYN: Apologies, it went to my head. LYN: Again, I have to thank everyone watching and weibo- because weibo always advertises for me and that makes you come in to take a look.

Comment: Is there a Fresh Chef 300? LYN: No, we’re not filming this year. But a different cooking show came to look for me! But I don’t have the time. That and it’s still the pandemic, so if I go out of the city for work I’m afraid I won’t be able to return for the drama. LYN: I got a call the other day from the clinic, and they said “Hello, are you Liu Yuning?” and I replied yes... but I didn’t hear a shred of happiness from the other side. You gave “Liu Yuning” a call, do you know what a happy thing that is? XD They probably didn’t know me, though.

LYN: A song, though! What should I sing? Comment: 只想和你静度时光. LYN: Da Zhangwei already sang that just now. (as his bgm) LYN:  一开始? People might be looking through my old songs and saw that I have one called 一开始... they seem to like it so let me sing that for you. It’s a little high, though. I was able to sing it before but I don’t know if I can reach it now. I first started liking this song because- oh, no. I don’t have the accompaniment anymore. Let me see if I can find it... No. Sorry, I can’t sing it anymore. Comment: Sing it without instrumentals. LYN: My second aunt’s here. (bc his relatives always want him to sing something)

Comment: Who is Liu Yuning? LYN: That’s me. May I ask, why you are seeking me out?  Comment: You’re Liu Yuning? LYN: Yeah. A lot of people don’t know me and that makes some people agitated. Don’t be. It’s just an opportunity for them to get to know me.

LYN: I’m the #11 trending topic? My goodness. I feel like I have to make myself presentable now. I’ll have to sing something for you, then... Comment: 烟火星辰 (Fireworks and Stars) LYN: Let’s do it.

LYN: This song, other than the drama You Are My Glory, is related to a game... they always want me to sing this song. LYN: Hold on, let me start the song over. There are some key words in the text you need to see. (his name in the credits) You see it? Ok, now memorize it. Those who aren’t good a t memorization can take a pen and write it down.

4. 烟火星辰 (Fireworks and Stars)

LYN: I saw someone type into the comments section that me wearing sunglasses makes it seem like... I’m blind. When I see these things I am very unhappy. Why does wearing sunglasses mean I have to be blind? Are you looking down on the blind? Or looking down on people who wear sunglasses? Go up to anyone on the street wearing sunglasses and tell them they look like a blind person, see if they’ll hit you or not. You’re weak in reality but think you’re the king online. (hiding behind their anonymity)  Comment: They’re complimenting you. LYN: They said I looked like a blind man- that’s a compliment? Are we playing the Opposites Game? Everything you say has the opposite meaning?  LYN: You don’t like my sunglasses- don’t like that my eyes are dark? Does that mean you don’t like pandas either? That’s our national treasure. You don’t like pandas? I love them.

Comment: Wear the glasses on your hat. LYN: Don’t even mention that. When I saw this hat online I thought you could see out of these “eye holes.” Like this- 

LYN: I wanted to wear these to the airport- wouldn’t it be awesome. I wouldn’t need sunglasses plus I’d be low-key. But in the end they’re just added on for show. I misunderstood and was a little disappointed. I thought I would be able to see out of them. Comment: Cut a hole in them. LYN: They’re too expensive for that. Comment: Cut a hole in the cloth. LYN: !! Why didn’t I think of that?? Cut a hole in the cloth, right? I think this is the right way of thinking- that’s amazing. LYN: But I’m afraid of a stray thread. What if there’s a stray thread and the more you pull, the more the hat becomes unraveled? Let’s not.

Comment: Ning-ge, sing 酒醉的蝴蝶 (Drunken Butterfly). LYN: How does it go? Let me listen to it. I’m not a person who will reject any type of music. How does this one go? /starts the song/ Oh, I know this. LYN: Let’s do it. Comment: My mom’s ringtone is this song. LYN: How about this- I’ll sing it and you can change you mom’s ringtone to my version. Or maybe your wake-up alarm sound. LYN: Let me finish listening to it. // Oh- this isn’t going to affect my OST work is it? If this style suits me... later I can release a bunch of music like this. Comment: I brought my mom. LYN: Ok! A lot of young people may not like this song, so I’ll gift this to everyone’s mother and father. All my aunts and uncles out there.

5. 酒醉的蝴蝶 (Drunken Butterfly) LYN: /during a break in the song/ I really think this suits me! Oh no. LYN: It suits me. I was even thinking what it would be like if I sang this for some event in the future.

LYN: There are a lot of new friends watching my stream right? I think music has no boundaries, there’s no need to stick to one style. If you like it, listen to it. If you don’t, you can listen to whatever you think is nice. It’s just a spice of life- you can flavor it however you want. LYN: Is there any other music like this? I haven’t had enough. I want to sing another one. Comment: 帶刺的玫瑰 (A Rose with Thorns) LYN: Oh? What relation does “A Rose with Thorns” have with a “Drunken Butterfly”? I feel like these two songs have to be related somehow. Comment: 可可托海的牧羊人 (The Shepherds of the Coketo Sea) LYN: ? I haven’t heard that one before. Let’s listen to them together. - plays the song LYN: The beginning of this song reminds me of 雨蝶 (Rain Butterfly). LYN: I don’t know how to sing this song, aunties. I’ve never heard it before.  Comment: 火红的萨日朗 (The Fire-Red Sarilang) LYN: Let me see if there’s an accompaniment for this. If there is, I’ll sing it. There’s a lot of music out there that deserves to be heard. - learning the song LYN: I can do it, let’s go! Suddenly I think I am very suited for this type of music. What do I do?? /in denial/ I feel like if I’m very good at this type my path as a singer might turn a little rocky. Either that or it suddenly becomes very good. I don’t know.  LYN: Let’s do it. This is for entertainment, anyway. I can sing nice songs for you, and you can think of it as a KTV and have fun. That’s all there is to it.  LYN: Someone requested 姐就是女王 (I’m the Queen)- /sings a couple lines/ That one, right? I can’t do that one. XD

6. 火红的萨日朗 (The Fire-Red Sarilang) x 美人鱼 (Mermaid) (JJ Lin) mashup LYN: I saw someone request 美人鱼, so I just sang it together in the one song. It worked out pretty well. Actually the harmony and rhythm are alike.

Comment: There are so many people in your stream, how about 这世界那么多人 (So Many People in This World). LYN: I sang this song before and found out a problem. That is- this song is too hard. There are so many changes. The beginning is very low- but if you don’t sing it low then the rest of the song is too high. It’s so hard to change the key. This song is so difficult to sing. Let’s try it!

Comment: Ning-ge, you’re so into it. LYN: Which stream am I not? It just depends on what I’m hooked on. Sometimes it’s talking back at people. Sometimes it’s addressing media rumors. Today it’s listening to songs. It’s nice though because a lot of people are really passionate about music. 

7. 这世界那么多人 (So Many People in This World) - playing with the key, trying to find something that works Comment: Can you sing properly? LYN: What do you know?? I can’t even talk to you about professional musicality, because you wouldn’t understand. Why? Because I don’t even understand it. So let’s not make trouble for each other. XD

Comment: Ning-ge, did you do that on purpose in the beginning? LYN: No, I was really testing out the keys because I wasn’t sure if I could sing to this accompaniment. So If I sang lower it would have a feeling like I was speaking. Comment: I cried. LYN: I’ll sing something that’ll make you cry more. ♪ You’re getting married, the groom isn’t me. There are so many words still left unsaid~ ♪

Comment: I came to look at my former-idol. LYN: I’m already used to it. In this circle losing fans or fandom hopping is the norm. You don’t need to think about it too much- if there’s a recently airing drama, they’ll all skip. It’s fine to “climb the wall” but don’t come back. XD Let’s just wish each other well. It’s fine to like other people, and I can’t stop you. Also, you may have “climbed the wall” but it’s okay because our relationship is beyond that of an idol and their fan. A lot of lovers end up being friends after a break up. It’s like that. We’re still friends. It’s not like you should pretend not to know me. You can still come watch my stream.

Comment: You left me dazed that there was a stream today. LYN: Why? I’m just giving you a surprise. LYN: It’s normal that people leave me when a new drama catches their eye. What can I do? That’s why I am also continuing to shoot dramas. When my dramas are out they can come climbing back. - tries to think of an idiom for this situation >.<

Comment: Sing 同生 (Co-Existence, The Love of Hypnosis OST). LYN: Let’s not sing that one just yet. I’ll wait for it to air first. Not only do I sing the OST, I can also make a post about it when it airs and give it publicity through my streams. So let’s wait for it to air, so we can help the ratings a bit. So, if anyone out there wants to hire me to sing an OST for them, please contact my studio.

LYN: There are a lot of guzhuang dramas airing this year... let me think. I sang one for Chong Zi. I was going to sing one for The Blue Whisper but the timing didn’t work out. What else is there.. I sang for Heroes, and ALZ. What else.. Meng Hua Lu (A Dream of Splendor) came in. Uh... I’m choosing the song for Zi Chuan right now. “Cang Yue” hasn’t come for me yet. Qie Shi Tian Xia (Who Rules the World) is already recorded. What else is there? Xing Han Can Lan (Love Like the Galaxy) hasn’t contacted me (yet). “Tu Xing Hao” I already sang for. “Xing Bie Fu Xia”- uh... that one... I don’t have a chance. LYN: Agarwood Like Crumbs (Immortal Samsara)? I don’t think they contacted me yet, though I do know the actors. Maybe I’ll play it like I did with Chaoyue- “I’d just like to ask who’s singing the OST for your drama?” I know the actors so I’ll just inquire a little. Yu Gu Yao (Jade Bone Ballad/The Longest Promise)? Yes, I know. (Fang Yilun, Xiao Zhan) I can also ask about that one. “Cang Xiang Si”? You guys think you know everything, don’t you? That one won’t air this year. San Ti (Three-Body)? I can do it, that’s also Linghe’s Bai-laoshi’s drama. I can ask him directly. I think he can probably give it to me without a problem. Zhe Tian... maybe.... LYN: You know ALL the dramas! You’re all so amazing- you know what’s going to air and what’s being filmed. You’re all drama fans. That’s cool. LYN: Qing Chuan Ri Chang (New Life Begins)? I think that’s Bai Jingting’s, right? They haven’t contacted me.  LYN: You remember there was a drama that wanted me to go act as the main lead’s father? I’m at the point where I can act as dads now. That was Chinese Paladin 4. It’s not a problem, though. Because he’s a young person- not a teenager- but he was sealed in ice. So he’s the same age as his son now- he didn’t grow old, you know? That character is now being played by Baron Chen. My da-ge is playing the role, which is just as well. 

Comment: Are you watching the Blue Whisper? LYN: Is it airing already? I heard it was going to air these past couple days, is it already airing? I haven’t watched it yet. I’m here streaming aren’t I? 

Comment: You’re going to act as one of Baron Chen’s roles? LYN: No- I. Am I speaking with a dialect or something? [t/n: yeah.] It’s like you can’t understand what I’m saying. I don’t have a dialect, do I? // I’m kidding. Maybe I was speaking a little too quickly. You can catch the playback to listen to what I said about it. Comment: Can you speak pure standard? LYN: I can. That’s what I’m doing now. So I still have a dialect right now? No, right? Yeah. Standard dialect. You can hear it everywhere. If you haven’t subscribed to my weibo yet, please do so. Comment: I’m not subscribed I’m just watching first. LYN: It’s not because of my dialect though, right? Is the standard dialect so important in today’s society? Actually, I can speak it. But feel like a live-stream is a place where I can relax, so If I used my dialect people would take it easier. But I can speak standard Mandarin. /says some tongue twisters/ Comment: It’s very good. LYN: Of course. When I speak standard mandarin I feel like I’m being interviewed. LYN: But my stream is just a place to chat. If you have any questions you can ask me.

Comment: Legally Romance. LYN: Are you talking about HZT’s drama? Are you his fan? What are you doing making ads in my stream? (to HZT) I didn’t bring up this drama on purpose- one of your fans came in and asked me about it. Everybody- there’s a recently airing drama called Legally Romance, it stars HZT and SZE. After this clip gets out I can ask HZT for 200RMB (for the ad). Comment: Wasn’t it 300RMB? LYN: 200 is fine. I’m not watching it, though. I’m working all day, I really don’t have the time. When I have some time later I’ll catch up.

Comment: How are Dandong strawberries different from normal ones? LYN: Not really. The color is just a little redder and a little sweeter with a milky fragrance. But it’s not too big of a difference. Dandong strawberries are quite nice.

Comment: How’s your next drama coming along? LYN: I haven’t confirmed anything yet. I’ll tell you about it when I do. I haven’t signed the contract yet and when that happens things are always hard to say. Even if I DID sign a contract- if we suddenly stop production, what can I do about it? Really. I know a lot of actors who sign a contract, are about to start shooting, but production stops. Comment: Didn’t you say you were confirmed for a male lead role? LYN: Did I? When did I say that? I said it was a possibility. Anyway, regarding the earlier topic- only when the whole drama is finished being filmed does it count as an ending. Some dramas stop right in the middle. It’s probably not going to happen with this one, though. But for now I won’t reveal what it is. When I get news of it I’ll definitely share.

Comment: When’s Heroes airing? LYN: 70% chance it’ll come out in May.

LYN: Have I talked about Blue Whisper too little? I think I cue’d it a lot, for a drama I didn’t even sing an OST for. I’m only promoting it because of the actors and the director. :p

Comment: Ge, you’ve streamed for almost three hours now. LYN: Are you sleepy?

Comment: Are you going to be in that drama Zhao Yiling recommended you for? LYN: I don’t know yet, but we can’t quite get the timing right. If I hear anything I’ll let you know.

Comment: Are you holding a concert this year? LYN: No. Having a concert in this situation- Am I crazy? No large gatherings, please.

Comment: When you’re doing the variety show, where do you rank in terms of talkativeness? LYN: The one I just started? Look at the show- look at who they got as the guests. Let’s start with Song Zu’er. Don’t think that she’s small, though is is quite young, she sure can talk a lot- I mean, she’s very smart. Everything she says IS very logical. It’s a show where you need to communicate after all, everyone is sharing their reasoning, so everyone has to talk. Zhou Shen I won’t mention. He’s done quite a few variety shows, and he knows how to play around. He himself is a very witty and funny person. There’s Guo Qilin- he makes money with his mouth. He’s also very intelligent. Bai Yu, at first I thought he didn’t talk much. He seemed like a chill guy but I found out he’s quite lively. Also quite impulsive. He speaks quite a lot, too. There’s also Zhou Keyu- Keyu is a little younger so comparatively he speaks less. But not too much less, because that’s just the nature of the show. He’s so smart though! Young, but he’s got a good head on his shoulders! Me? I talk the least. :p You can watch it when it airs! Comment: Ning-ge, did you talk less because you’re dumb? LYN: Ehm... I’m smarter than you. Comment: Haven’t got a good head... LYN: That’s right I’ve been kicked in the head by a donkey. Comment: Don’t variety shows usually air and record and the same time? LYN: This one they’re waiting to record all of it first.

LYN: Let’s sing a song...  水星記 (Mercury Records)? I sang it before but not very well... It was a song I had learned that day, and I also haven’t listened to it since. We’ll try. LYN: A lot of people say this song can make them cry. It makes them emo. I may not sing it well, but I’ll grant your wish. You can just listen for fun. - /fake cries/ LYN: If you want to be able to make people cry with your music, you have to first make yourself cry. It’s like acting. If you don’t believe in the act, there won’t be a good result. So I’m getting myself in the mood first.  - /starts describing the imagery he has in mind to get him in the mood/ Comment: Can you sing it or not? LYN: What’s your rush? I need to do a set-up so you can properly enjoy the song. It’s like going to a restaurant, ordering a dish you’ve never had before, and not knowing how to eat it. I’m teaching you how to eat this song first- listen to this song first.

8. 水星記 (Mercury Records)

Comment: Lao-da, can you not sing such an emo song in the middle of the night? LYN: Are you emo now? /sigh/ Who’s song can make you happy when you hear it? - starts singing “Magical Surprise” :) LYN: Da Zhangwei’s? Ok... Let me find a song for you.... When Da Zhangwei sings people says he has a “youthful” tone. He and his music are really unique. So let me also try the “youthful” tone. Let’s see if I still am the youth I was before. Let see if I changed at all. (lyrics from 少年)

9. 我们能不能不分手 (Can We Not Break Up) LYN: Oh, what happened? This version only goes up to half of the song! Comment: Ning-ge, didn’t you say you would sing it with a “youthful” tone? LYN: Was that not young enough?? That was the youngest I could make it. I think if I really wanted to try a song with a “youthful” tone I have to find one of Wu Qingfeng’s. It’s time... I need to look up Sodagreen. LYN: Let’s give it a try.

10. 我好想你 (I Really Miss You)

LYN: /starts off a fail/ /hisses through his teeth/ Sorry-ah. I didn’t test the key before I started. - the song’s too high for him XD LYN: My friends, let’s not sing this one. Can you.. forget what you just heard? Wu Qingfeng’s songs are a kink in my career. I remember the last time, I tried to sing 起风了 (The Wind Rises) and now this one... I’m embarrassed. From now on, in my heart, I will only listen to Wu Qingfeng’s songs but never sing them.  LYN: Why should I bully MYSELF like this. There’s no need.

Comment: My roommate heard it and said it sounded good! LYN: Your roommate? They’re a kind person.

Comment: I want to hear 精忠报国 (Jing Zhong Bao Guo) LYN: No problem. When I was in school I was like the music partner- whenever there was a show going on I had to go sing. When I was in school no one dared to sing anything from Meteor Garden. If you sang that song at school it didn’t seem like a good thing- you’d have to hide and sing it quietly to yourself. We usually sang like.. children’s songs... so at that time I also learned 精忠报国. It was one of the songs that made me want to be a singer- I wanted to be a “little” Tu Honggang.  LYN: Look at the attitude of this song! Hold on- I need to get a prop. LYN: Let me also go to the bathroom while I’m gone. Wait for me- three minutes. - /comes back/ Comment: Where’s your equipment? LYN: Why are you in such a rush?? One thing at a time. Comment: Ka-Ka LYN: No, there’s been no room for the kazoo to show off lately. If I’m going to sing 精忠报国 I feel like I need to be holding something. So I brought my sword out. It has a feeling like you’re stepping onto a battlefield. I’m saying this now- this is a wooden sword. There’s no danger here. This is what I use to practice with at home. I have to play the world’s greatest swordsman, so I thought it would be better to know how to handle a sword first. But ever since I got it I haven’t gotten around to using it at all- I never had the time to practice. So today’s stream will be my first time using it. Comment: Is there an open edge? LYN: It’s a wooden sword!! There’s no edge. It’s a wooden sword- I can use it to ward off evil in my house. LYN: Alright, let’s go.

11. 精忠报国 (Jing Zhong Bao Guo) - it’s too high for him :p LYN: Ehm... This performance at the least gets additional points for the prop, right? LYN: What happened was- the mic broke. Let’s listen to the second half- I’ll show my real skill. - /voice cracks/ LYN: Ehm.. My condition is not very good today. The mic couldn’t handle it- my high notes are too much for it to take. A lot of people are professionals but may not understand- you might think my voice cracked but the truth is my mic broke. It “exploded.” /laughs at himself/

LYN: Since I have the sword here, let’s find another song to go with it. Comment: Why not change a mic then? LYN: I won’t. I’ll... let me drink some water. LYN: Some people are worried about my vocal chords- I’m ok. Thanks, though. LYN: Man! I really thought singing while holding this would make me look really cool! But it didn’t turn out as cool as I thought... 

LYN: Where’s the music? Can you hear it? No, right? LYN: Ok, let’s try 刀剑如梦 (Sword Like Dreams)... - /troubleshooting because the music audio isn’t playing/

LYN: /tries a remix version of  刀剑如梦 (Sword Like Dreams)/ LYN: No. I can't with this one. I feel like my brain is going to leak out of my mouth. Let’s do the original version.

12. 刀剑如梦 (Sword Like Dreams)

LYN: /playing with his sword/ I wanted to look cool, but that wasn’t cool at all. It was a flop. The sword was actually in my way. LYN: What else is there? LYN: I saw someone suggest 剑魂 (Soul of the Sword)- I really don’t know how to sing it. Wang Sulong’s version- I’ll learn it for the next time. Also, I- I might be sued if I sing it.

Comment: Sing 流星雨 (Meteor Shower). LYN: You really want me to? I told you I couldn’t sing it when I was in school and now you’re granting my wish and letting me? Giving me the opportunity to show off this song? Comment: 意气趁年少 (Be Earnest While You’re Young) LYN: That’s my song! Actually I do have a lot of songs that a sword prop would be suitable for. But it’s not because I’m a “贱” (jian = “cheap/lowly”) person but because I sing a lot of songs that are gufeng. * [剑 = sword and 贱 = cheap/lowly are both pronounced as “jiàn"]

LYN: Alright, let’s do it. Let’s watch the meteor shower fall upon the earth. The requirement is that anyone who is watching right now has to sing with me when the chorus comes around. LYN: Oh, my special effects are also falling stars. It was meant to be.

13. 流星雨 (Meteor Shower) LYN: /voice cracks/ /this is fine/ We’re just here to have fun!  Comment: Ning-ge, you’re impersonating F4? LYN: I always hear people sing it this way. 

Comment: Yin Zheng is here. LYN: Ehe! Really? Welcome~ Oh, he gave me a present too? Let me ask him. LYN: I don’t have his contact info. I do, just kidding.  LYN: Did he really come? Let me ask him... YZ: Accept the money first. LYN: No! You don’t need to pay a fee here! Don’t give me any presents. Just uh... send it to me through WeChat. LYN: What are you up to? Are you available to talk? I can connect with you on stream. YZ: No, I must give you the $$. LYN: /reading yz’s msg/ “I can’t (connect on stream).” LYN: Ah. He’s working. /to yz/ It’s ok! You don’t need to show your face! Voice is fine too, is that ok? LYN: He rejected me.  LYN: Let me use a song to invite you to appear. /plays 一剪梅 (Yi Jian Mei)/ YZ: How do I connect? LYN: Hold on, let me invite you! - /trying to work out how to do it/ LYN: He says it’s okay, and wants me to stream properly. Ok. Thank you YZ-dage.  LYN: Don’t give me presents! You always do, but you really don’t need to. In the future you can just wire me the money directly through WeChat. (LOL) LYN: /to YZ/ I’ll let you work.

Comment: Zhu Xudan is here too. LYN: Welcome, Zhu Xudan-laoshi. LYN: Your uh... the male lead of your drama has already come by but you’re here with empty hands??  LYN: I’m JOKING!!  LYN: I know both YZ and ZXD- they’re both shooting for Zhe Tian. It’s a Linghe Production, so we all get together and crash each other’s sets sometimes.  LYN: Xudan, is it convenient for you to come chat with me? You can chat with everyone. You can tell me through msg.

- talking about how ZSX hasn’t been in contact lately and Ning-ge’s a little sulky because of it. LYN: Do I need to remind you that you still have dramas that are going to air?? (implying he won’t promote ZSx’s dramas XD)

- tries to connect with ZXD, but can’t figure it out

LYN: ZXD-laoshi, you can come to play next time, alright? How about this- request a song! LYN: Thank you YZ-laoshi. Stop sending me presents! YZ! You’re going to make me have to give you something in return. Please, stop. You really don’t need to. I can’t see the comments now (because the presents block the way).  YZ: Alright, I’m done. LYN: My goodness. Thank you so much. I’ll have to five you something in return. I heard that YZ-laoshi really likes motorcycles. I’ll have to think of something from that angle to gift him. Maybe I’ll buy you like.. a raincoat you can wear when it rains.  LYN: Thank you, though. Thank you. Comment: Zhu-laoshi also gave you a lot. LYN: Staph! I’m going to ask the moderators if they can turn that feature off. You can still send the free presents, though. LYN: Anyway! Thank you to Yin Zheng and Zhu Xudan-laoshi!

- still trying to figure out how to connect. figures out he can’t connect with others because he didn’t turn that feature on when he started the stream and to do so he’d have to start his stream all over. LYN: How about this- you can come when I stream the next time. Or if you have time, you can come be my guest. Thanks for stopping by today, though. 

Comment: Talk about your past with these two laoshi-s. LYN: Um.. we just met. We haven’t experienced anything together yet. I mean, of course we know each other, and if we have time we’ll have a meal together and chat.  Comment: Talk about the hand-holding. LYN: I already talked about it! There’s nothing to talk about. Maybe if we were holding hands to accept an award it would be something to talk about. But we had just eaten dinner and walked out together to head to our respective cars and homes. What’s there to talk about there? They had their wrap party and we’re friends, good buddies. Nothing to say. Comment: You gained another wrap-party meal. LYN: Yeah! I should go to them more often- because I’m likely to find new work at them. I have something coming up next that came to me in the most mysterious way. I’ll tell you about it when I can. I always find work in the strangest of situations. Well, they’re not STRANGE, you just wouldn’t expect it. 

LYN: Let me see what she said... She’s on her way home and... next time! Alright, we’ve arranged for her to stop by the next time. Comment: You can find jobs at wrap parties? LYN: This recent one was among my own people. The last time it happened because I went to the wrap of a drama I sang for but didn’t act in. But recently I’ve been a PART of the crew that’s wrapped- we all know each other and if there was any work to give me they would have long ago. 

LYN: Oh, she’s not requesting a song. It’s ok. She can come play the next time I stream. LYN: I didn’t know ZXD before, but she’s the female lead of Zhe Tian and got to know her when our two casts got together for a meal. We met, and I introduced myself and she said- LYN: Always Online! Alright, let’s do it!! I’ll sing it for you! LYN: Yin Zheng and I were having a meal and he said- “I heard a song this morning, I think you can sing it too.” I asked where that came from, and if he’s heard me sing before. He said he had that he knows I sang Zou Ma in my early days. I heard that and thought to myself that he didn’t seem to have paid any attention to me in the last two years... but that song was “Always Online” and I told him if I had the opportunity I would sing it for him, and the time is now. LYN: He said that if I sang it, it would definitely sound nice! So if I sing it today and it’s not nice-- that’ll be embarrassing. At the time he had played the English version for me but uh-- I don’t know it. I can only sing the Chinese version.  LYN: I didn’t finish the story about ZXD- I’ll finish after I sing.

14. Always Online (JJ Lin) LYN: /missed the timing for a line/ The internet lagged a little bit. I sang so well I moved the Heavens and a bolt of lightning just messed with the internet a little.  LYN: For our Yin Zheng-laoshi. LYN: No- but really that part is really hard to get the timing right. If you’re not prepared for it. Comment: Stop trying to explain. LYN: The ‘net lagged. End of story. LYN: YZ-dage, I can’t return your money. XD I didn’t sing too well, but I can’t return it. I’ll give it back to you later- I’ll buy you a present.

LYN: (back to the story of meeting ZXD) I said, “Hello, I’m Liu Yuning.” and she said “I know. I often watch your streams.” :) When I heard that I was smirking on the inside but profusely thankful on the outside. Sometimes I’ll have a first impression of someone and they don’t look too friendly, but no matter who I interact with, if they tell me “ I really like your singing!”- at that point I will be convinced that they are a good person. No matter what biases I have towards them, they will disappear in an instant. LYN: She replied to me! She wants to hear 花海 (Floral Sea) (Jay Chou). Um.. how about a different one? I don’t really know how to sing that one. I know! You like Jay Chou’s songs, right? If I’m not wrong... If you can ask for 花海 you probably like all of his songs... Think of something else, though.

Comment: I like to watch your streams too! LYN: You’re all good people. People I can get along with. LYN: But through that interaction I realized something- that a lot of artists also watch my streams. Just that they’re on side accounts. It’s okay, you can use your main account and be a guest and have fun with me. Come on! I don’t have the capability to steal any of your fans. Just come~

ZXD: 告白氣球 (Love Confession) LYN: See? She likes Jay Chou’s music! LYN: When I hear the name of this song, there’s a cover version that comes to mind...  [the song title literally means “Confession Balloons” (告白/gàobái) but he mis-says it (probably on purpose) as “Farewell Balloons” (告别/gàobié) XD]

15. 告白氣球 (Love Confession) (Jay Chou) - trying to find the original accompaniment, or as close to it as he can get

LYN: I’m sorry, I’m not singing very well. It’s not anyone’s fault- I just went a little to hard with the earlier songs. Comment: You’ve already streamed for four hours, have you forgotten? LYN: I don’t like it when people say that. I don’t like it when people say I’ve streamed for a long time- you can, but not by itself. You have to say, “He streams for so long, but it’s so interesting.” I’m giving you something to watch, I’m not just wasting your time here. LYN: I figured tomorrow’s still the weekend- you have a break from work and school so I can stream with you a little longer.

LYN: When I wrapped up work today I had two choices: got out to eat hotpot with my friends or come to stream. I chose the latter. Isn’t that nice? You don’t need to say I’m a GOOD person, but I’m alright, right? Why didn’t I choose the hotpot? Because I’ve had it for too many days already. I’m tired of it. Anything is good but not if you eat it continuously. So I thought I would pass for today. Comment: Can I take that to mean you weren’t successful in inviting any friends? LYN: I couldn’t find anyone to eat with me so that’s why I came to stream? Are you messing with me? Can you think before you speak? Think about it- if you call your friend and ask them to come to your house to help you move, do you think they’ll go? But if I called them and asked them to eat a delicious hotpot with me- who wouldn’t go? Also- I invited my crew members- it’s not like they didn’t want to be seen with me, so that’s why they didn’t come.

LYN: ZXD-laoshi, I sang already. Can you send me a message of thanks or something? Or not a thanks but a “it was nice”? I sang a song and now I feel like I’m drifting at sea. Comment: She already paid for it- she gave you presents. LYN: That’s a different story. LYN: Oh, she replied. “Thank you Ning-ge. It sounded very nice.” :) LYN: No- I didn’t want her APPROVAL. I just wanted to know if she was able to hear it at all. ZXD: It was very nice. Can I request another? LYN: Yeah! But nothing too hard. Nothing too high. Let’s see what songs actors like to listen to. LYN: Let me tell you friends. If someone has a high EQ- at this point in time she’d request one of my own songs. Oh- she requested Lonely Warrior. XD I CAN sing it, but I already sang it once today. How about a different one? LYN: Now at THIS point in time she will NOT request one of my songs, otherwise it’ll be embarrassing for HER. Let’s see what she picks. I already sang Lonely Warrior today.

LYN: You don’t need to look up my songs. XD It’s normal- sometimes when you want to get to know a person- not to make connections, but just to make it so that our conversations aren’t awkward- you look up what dramas they’ve done or songs they’ve sung. It’s like with me- it’s normal for people not to know what songs I’ve sung. But just to have something to talk about- you’ll look them up. I’m guessing she’s looking me up right now. :p Don’t worry about it. You can request anything you want.

Comment: 光的方向 (Direction of Light, The Long Ballad OST) LYN: Oh- I sang that once with Bichen-laoshi, but I didn’t do very well. It wasn’t a new arrangement- that was the original arrangement for the song and the original (female) key. If they wanted for us to do a duet they should have re-arranged the song, but we were a little rushed. The laoshi who sang the demo wanted me to raise my own key by an octave.   LYN: 让酒 (Rang Jiu)- ZXD requested Rang Jiu. Ok. Give me a second. You can continue driving for now- watch the road. LYN: They wanted me to sing an octave higher, but since I was singing with her, I couldn’t. It’s already very high. /demonstrates/ It’s low for her but this is too high for me. On the day of the performance I sang like this- /demonstrates again/. Very low. It’s quite low. So I didn’t do very well that day.  LYN: Ok. I need to sing ZXD’s requested Rang Jiu. I’m sure a lot of you also want to hear it. Let’s go! LYN: !! Why didn’t it play when I clicked on it?? Hold on- don’t scare me. Wait a sec. Let me find the track.

16. 让酒 (Let the Wine)

Comment: You’ve worked hard. LYN: I’m ok. I didn’t work too hard. Sure, I sang more than I usually do but it’s fine. Just pretend I’m at a KTV.

- a jiejie at weibo sent him a message about how to turn on the “connect” feature. LYN: It’s ok! It was my fault. I usually turn that feature on, but I forgot this time. LYN: Next time- If anyone wants to join my stream I’ll make it a small request that they have to let us know some insider gossip. // I’m kidding.

LYN: I won’t sing anymore. I think that’s enough for the musical portion of my stream. I’m gonna rest a bit

Comment: I want to hear “How Long is A Lifetime” LYN: I just said I was tired! You must really be a new fan. It’s ok, I’ll sing it for you the next time. Stop requesting songs. I’ve sun about enough. Let me rest oTL

LYN: Should I change my hat? This one has been giving you complicated feelings all night long. I’ll change it. I can new you a fresh new feeling for the end of my stream. LYN: I bought it a while ago, but never wore it. I bought it for the new year- since it’s the year of the tiger, but I never got the chance. Comment: Have you worn it out before? LYN: I haven’t, actually. But I feel like this is a children’s hat, my head doesn’t really fit. Is my head too big? There was only one size- it must be for children. Comment: Raffle it. LYN: No. Comment: It’s better if you didn’t wear this hat outside. LYN: Why? Am I likely to get hit? Has this appearance already reached the point where I could get hit if I walked out in public?? That’s unwarranted. I can’t get beat up just because of a hat! LYN: I think it’s like this- everyone has their own preferences and style of outfit coordination, and we should never ridicule them for it. If you have high tastes, that’s on you- but don’t laugh at other people. Everyone has their likes and dislikes. One person may not like what you like and vice versa. But you don’t need to go around making fun of people for it. You need to be more open-minded. What era are we living in? We’re all young people. If one day I REALLY wore this hat out, what can you do about it? This is nothing. Young people need to have personality- that’s what makes them unique.  Comment: Put it on Daimi. LYN: I should put it on her? This is MY hat, why should I so easily let her wear it?? 

LYN: My hair’s too greasy. It was in a wig all day and I came home and didn’t turn on the AC because I didn’t want to get sick- I’m going to change the hat back. 

LYN: It’s so strange, the temperature in Hengdian has suddenly dropped these past few days. It can be hot one day and cold the next. I was shooting a fight scene and it was so cold you could see our breath. But the scene couldn’t be completed in one day, so we had about a week long break in between, and when we came back to finish off the scene it was so hot. The weather’s weird. 

Comment: Trending topic #34. LYN: I’m still up there? That’s great- my only wish is that more people can see my stream. Otherwise I’d be here making a fool of myself (monkeying around) for who to see?

- someone asks about Daimi LYN: I won’t call her. She’s running around the house right now.

Comment: YOU’RE a monkey. LYN: Yeah, I am. I didn’t say YOU were, don’t get so worked up. LYN: “Monkeying around” is not an action but a performance- you’re not here watching me do a single act, what I mean is that you can come watch me for entertainment. You’ve never seen a monkey put on a show? Look it up.

Comment: You’re too unfashionable today. LYN: I’m already looking so cool today, how much more fashionable do you want me to be?? I feel like my look today is the most fashionable I’ve been in on stream in a long time. You think it’s unfashionable?? It’s because the bgm isn’t right. /changes the bgm/ Is this better? LYN: I just want to make people happy with my streams, I’m not here to look cool. 

LYN: Let’s stream like a “normal artist” for five minutes. Let’s go. - “normal artists” don’t usually read the comments that come up, they only reply. LYN: I’ve been working in a drama crew right now. I think as a young actor I should have a lot of products, so I’ve been working hard on that. I’m shooting dramas. In Hengdian. LYN: You don’t need to worry about me too much. Normally, I do sleep early. I’ve been taking care of myself- I usually go to sleep around 11pm. I also get up really early. I even go for runs in the mornings.  - “normal artists” spend a lot of time reading the comments, and thus there are long breaks of silence. LYN: I don’t know what to say. If there’s anything you want to ask about, you can ask me. I don’t usually stream... If there’s anything you want to talk about, you can tell me. - “normal artists” end up having a mini-discussion with their staff when they’re streaming XD LYN: /pretending to talk to his manager/ What’s wrong? Oh, I only have another half-hour to stream? Ok, I got it. Oh- I wasn’t supposed to say that just now? I’m sorry. LYN: Someone asked “Your manager is able to handle you?” And I just want to say that at work we all mutually respect each other. Comment: You can’t do it. LYN: Alright, cut!

LYN: Honestly, I only ever see a few clips. (of “normal artists” streaming) So don’t hate on the fact that I’m a little ugly in my stream, that’s just because.. I really am. But this isn’t the highest my visuals go! It’s just that when I’m streaming I don’t pay much attention to how I look, so in your eyes I can be ugly. Don’t let this effect your opinion of me, though. You still have to watch (my streams). 

LYN: I’ve found out that A LOT of people have been giving attention to Heroes. Not only my fans, but a lot of passersby are also looking forward to it. Our production company must be ecstatic. They didn’t have to spend any money of promotional materials, and people are already very much looking forward to the drama. If we were actually actively promoting for it the drama would have ascended by now. LYN: It’s not only because of me, though. It’s due to the three of us. (LYN, YCY, ZSX) The other actors are also very great, but what I mean is that the three of us tend to play around more.  LYN: I hope a lot of people can check it out when it airs. And I’ll say again, please don’t view it as a wuxia drama- the requirements for that are too high- it’s a story about the jianghu. I already talked this out with you before. It’s about the relationships between the characters, not about the fighting and killing. 

Comment: Ning-ge, have you seen people online calling you the “Guzhuang-Idol Pretty Boy”? LYN: If there is any such title it’s because my fans made it for me. Stop- you don’t need to. If it really does happen- when the drama airs and I end up on some list of beautiful men- I hope it’s not my fans that put me on it. I already told you- don’t go around complimenting my visuals or my acting. What if other people (not his fans) can’t see it? Then I’d be done for. LYN: If I was hoping for people to compliment me on my visuals/acting then all I would need to do is just come to stream everyday, for my fans. Of course, I know you have my best interests at heart. But as for if I am “beautiful” or not.. everyone has an idea. My only wish for 2022 is that it’s fine if I’m not on the list of beautiful men, I just don’t want to be on the OTHER side (list of ugly men). That’s it. LYN: IF people were to compliment me, I hope it’s fans of other people, like Bai Jingting or Wang Junkai. They may not be my fans but they still watch my stream. Isn’t that nice, too? I think compliments from people who AREN’T my fans are a little more objective.  Comment: You’re quite handsome. LYN: /happy about it, but tries to play it off/ In this industry we aren’t lacking in handsome men and beautiful women. There may not be a lot of highly educated people in this industry (doctors/lawyers), but just from appearances- handsome men and beautiful women- we have the most. It’s enough to always have work to do and dreams to fulfill.  LYN: But if anyone were to include me on such lists- they have my gratitude. At the least if other media accounts see me in such a list then they wouldn’t put me on the opposite list.  LYN: I want to say again- if any of my dramas are about to air, please don’t compliment my visuals or my acting. Just say that I still have a long way to go. Comment: If you won’t let us compliment you on that, what CAN we compliment you for? LYN: My streams. You can tell people my streams are so interesting and to watch if they have the time. I think what’s really fun is that I can stream when my drama or variety show airs, and I can tell you a lot of fun behind the scenes stories. 

LYN: Have I been streaming for five hours already?? It’s alright- we’ll spend the new year and then I’ll sign off. A lot of people don’t know what that means- it means that we’ll spend time past 12am together, and we treat it as spending the new year together. It’ll mark the crossing of March 18th into March 19th.  LYN: Let me prep the bgm. // I think I need my instrument- where’s my ka-ka (kazoo)? This is an ensemble- you can’t just jump in anywhere. You have to wait for your moment, to give everyone a surprise.  - trying to jump in LYN: I always hear this song but I don’t know how it goes- I don’t know when I should jump in. What should I do? - still trying LYN: I remember there was a slow part to this! Where did it go??  LYN: Happy New Year! LYN: I don’t think this is the right song. Let me change it. It’s not enough (of a new year atmosphere), so let me find something else...

LYN: I’d like to wish everyone a happy new year. I hope you are healthy and your family is prosperous.  LYN: This song doesn’t seem to need my ka-ka... (bc there’s the suona?) I need to find two more songs, so I can give it a chance. I’m going to lull you to sleep with it, hypnotize you. Is there any song out there, that can make you fall asleep? Comment: 天空之城 (Castle in the Sky) LYN: Let’s try it. This song is really suitable for sleeping. It’ll make it feel like you’re sleeping in the sky. XD LYN: I don’t think this is right. It’s clashing. Let me try it with a song you wanted me to sing earlier, but I didn’t. Let’s try it with 光的方向 (Direction of Light). I’m sure this will be amazing. After this we can all go and have a nice sleep. - actually jamming to it pretty hard XD LYN: Perfect.

LYN: It’s about time. I streamed for a long time today. But tomorrow I still have scenes to shoot. I need to get up at 6:30am for makeup at 7a. So sorry, I need to go look at the script and take a shower. I’m going to go now, my friends. It’s about time. Thank you. LYN: Thank you to everyone who is watching my stream- there might be a lot of new friends today, please subscribe to my weibo. I’m Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. Thank you for spending time with me tonight and I hope you were happy. I just want anyone who watches my stream to be happy. It’s enough even if you laughed for one moment. I know that nowadays people don’t like to go hang out with their friends, or a lot of people don’t like going out in general- so at this time if I am able to spend 4-5 hours with you like this, if I am able to accompany you- it is my honor. I hope you had a relaxing and beautiful night. I’m glad to have had you. I’ll see you guys the next time! Good night. Have a great weekend.

#Liu Yuning #lyn livestream #(5:17:17) #long time no sing #i lov him voice ;w; #as per usual when he wears red he get a little wild lol #new music genre unlocked #!

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Cheryl//you can’t go through life trying not to get hurt

Request: So can I ask for a cheryl x reader where r does everything to make cheryl happy and just being supportive of her?

hey! i kind of got just a little bit carried away with this. but i think i pulled it back! i hope you like it! also, i know the title is an archie quote but i don’t really care because it fits and i like it! plus, they’re both red-heads so what’s really the difference? 

- We know Cheryl hasn’t had the best life 

- Her entire family and everything to do with it is tainted

- So for a long while, she thinks she’s tainted to

- And when she meets you 

- On a rainy Friday night, sat by Sweetwater River

- With your hair plastered to your face and the brightest smile she’s ever seen 

- She knows she has to stay away from you

- Because anybody who can be that happy sat in the pouring rain 

- Is somebody too pure for her 

- So she turns around and heads back to her car 

- Deciding that if she wants to be alone, she can just do it at home

- But then she hears it

- Your voice

- So soft, but so demanding 

- And you’re calling her name 

- Her name has never sounded so pretty 

- Even if it is coming from a complete stranger, who’s staring at such a dark place like its the most beautiful thing in the world

- ‘yea-yeah?’

- Her confidence slips for just a few seconds and its purely down to the way you’re looking at her 

- Like she’s filled with magic and wonder and mystery 

- A mystery you’re going to solve 

- Spoiler alert...you do

- ‘come sit’ You pat the rock beside you and she glances warily between you and it 

- It may have stopped raining but that rock is still very wet and she’s wearing a new skirt 

- ‘oh come on. live a little’ Your eyes sparkle as you speak 

- She eventually concedes and sits beside you

- Now she just has to make sure she doesn’t give too much away 

- Never let anyone else in

- Its the mantra she’s been repeating for as long as she can remember 

- This time she’s going to stick to it 

- Spoiler alert...she doesn’t

- Because thats easier said than done when a pretty girl is asking her questions 

- Or just paying attention to her tbh

- So she asks you questions instead 

- ‘how do you know who i am?’ 

- Normally she’d be afraid of a complete stranger who knew her name

- But this time, she’s just curious 

- She wants to know who you are 

- Why you’re in Riverdale?

- How has a town so full of dark secrets and awful people managed to capture you?

- She’s expecting a long winded explanation about how you just moved from a big city

- Because lets be real, thats the only place she can picture you living 

- But instead you just laugh 

- Such a light, unexpected laugh

- And now she’s unsure of what to say 

- What do you say to that?

- ‘i know a lot about a lot’ 

- ‘wow’ She mutters 

- She couldn’t help it 

- She is Cheryl Blossom after all 

- She can’t been seen as anything other than a bitch 

- But when she see’s the flash of hurt in your eyes 

- She can’t help but feel even more like the worst person in the world 

- She mumbles a quick apology and looks at the river instead 

- ‘its fine.’ You shrug. ‘you’ve been through a lot’ 

- ‘how do you know?’ 

- ‘i just do. but you will be okay cheryl, and don’t worry, you could never taint anything. i don’t think you’re capable of even leaving a trace of something bad.’ 

- She really wants to say something 

- But what the hell do you say to that? 

- And when she turns to face you, hoping the right words will find their way somehow 

- You’ve vanished 

- For a split second she thinks you’re a ghost 

- Its not the first time she’s had full on conversations with the dead 

- But then she hears a thud

- Followed by a groan and a small ‘ow’ 

- And it makes her laugh 

- Like properly laugh 

- The first she has in a while 

- She watches you stand and give her an awkward wave before actually disappearing 

- For the rest of the weekend you’re the only thing she can think of 

- By the time Monday rolls around she’s determined to find you 

- It can’t be hard 

- You’ve got to be a new student

- And Betty gives tours to all the newbies 

- She’ll just ask her 

- Thats easier said than done though

- She tried looking for her cousin before classes started 

- She even came in early 

- But no luck 

- So she has to wait until lunch time 

- And that makes her worry 

- By lunch time, you could have been told literally everything about her 

- How her brother was murdered by her father 

- How awful her mother is 

- She was almost assaulted 

- She attempted suicide 

- And she joined a cult 

- Just to name a few 

- Riverdale High is a breeding ground for rumours 

- Usually created by her 

- But they spread fast around here

- When lunch time rolls around, she’s sure you’re going to know how much of a train-wreck she actually is 

- Despite all of that though 

- Something inside her wills her to ask Betty about you 

- She then goes on to describe everything she remembers about you 

- Maybe in a little too much detail 

- ‘she had sparkly y/e/c eyes’ 

- ‘and y/c/h hair that framed her face in just the nicest way’ 

- ‘and her smile...it was wonderful’ 

- ‘...right. did you get a name?’

- ‘if i got her name do you really think i would be here right now?’ 

- ‘che-’ Betty is cut off by someone calling her name 

- The sound of it making Cheryl feel like she can’t breathe 

- She knows that voice 

- Even Betty’s name sounds nice when coming from her 

- From you

- But hold on

- You’re hugging Betty 

- Thats way too friendly for someone you’ve only known for half a day 

- ‘hi cheryl’ Your wave is less awkward than it was on Friday night, but your smile is just as cheerful as you look at the red head. 

- Okay, now she definitely doesn’t know what to say

- Betty quickly puts two and two together and smirk appears on her lips as she looks between the two of you 

- She has known about your small crush on Cheryl for a while 

- So she decides to help you out 

- ‘what were you saying about y/n’s smile? it was amazing? no! wonderful!’ 

- ‘shut up betty. i think your boyfriend wants you’ 

- She’s practically shooing Betty away and she mutters something under her breath but walks away anyway 

- Once she’s gone, Cheryl turns back to you and just stares at you 

- ‘so, you go here?’ 

- ‘yep?’ 

- ‘how long?’ She really doesn’t want to know the answer 

- ‘as long as you have’ You don’t seem annoyed when she looks at you 

- The opposite in fact

- You kind of look amused 

- ‘how have i not noticed you?’ 

- ‘you’ve been pre-occupied I suppose’ 

- ‘how can i make it up to you?’ 

- ‘notice me’ 

- ‘i’ve definitely already done that.’

- ‘take me to pops then’ 

- She never wanted to do something more

- But she’s torn 

- She wants to say no. To keep you safe from her and everything that come with being involved with a Blossom 

- But the way you’re looking at her makes her knees weak and her head dizzy 

- So she says yes 

- And its the best decision she’s ever made

- At first you take it slow 

- She’s been hurt before 

- And she’s hurt other 

- But something that makes it easier is the fact that you already know everything about her 

- Even if you were in the background during most of it 

- She’s so excited to get to know you

- One of the first things she learns is how you’ll do anything to make the people you love happy 

- Especially her 

- She’s quite literally never met anybody like you 

- You’re just so supportive of her 

- Nobody has ever treated her like that 

- So at first she doesn’t really know what to do 

- But then she remembers the night you met 

- And how you were so kind to her 

- Even though she didn’t know who you were 

- And she slowly starts to get used to it

- In return she learns how to be more supportive of others

- Something her friends are incredibly grateful for 

- To the actual supporting/happy bit because I kind of got a bit carried away 

- Whenever she’s sad 

- Whether it be because she’s missing Jason 

- Her mom/other family members have made an unwelcome appearance in her life 

- Someone has been rude to her 

- Or she’s just sad

- You will do literally anything and everything to make her smile 

- Cuddles? Hell yeah! 

- She wants to stay in bed all day? That sounds like an amazing day.

- She wants to watch her favourite film/tv show? Definitely

- ‘where do you keep your dvd’s?’ 

- ‘what century are you living in? you know there is a thing called the internet.’ 

- She wants her favourite food from Pops? You’re already out the door 

- You’ll go for drives around town while she tells you stories of her and Jason 

- Or you’ll let her teach your archery or some other weird hobby she has 

- Plus, you’ll tell her all the stupid jokes you know 

- Usually she laughs more out of pity than humour

- But it still counts 

- ‘sure it does babe’ 

- And if someone has made her angry 

- It doesn’t really take much

- But you’re working on it 

- You are 100% behind her if she wants to ruin their life (in moderation) 

- You go along with whatever crazy plan/scheme she’s though of that week

- She wants to start a business? Where do you sign? This is the best idea ever 

- Steal something from somebody thats wronged her? Where is the best place to buy spy-wear 

- Create a little chaos? You’ve already got three ideas planned out you just need her approval

- Its not just silly things either 

- She decides she wants to go to therapy (everybody in this town needs it, including Pop). You’ll go with her and wait outside of every single session if she wants you to. 

- You usually spend the time googling how to help her (she just thinks you spend the entire time on Instagram) 

- She wants to properly cut off her family (with the exception of Nana Rose and the twins). You 100% support her if thats what she wants

- As your relationship grows, so does your support 

- She’s literally never felt more loved than when she’s with you 

- And you make it a mission to make her feel like this for the rest of her life 

- Spoiler alert...you do

support my writing! if you want! 

#cheryl blossom #cheryl blossom imagine #cheryl blossom x reader #cheryl blossom x you #cheryl blossom x y/n #riverdale #riverdale imagine #cheryl #cheryl imagine #cheryl x reader

[luminescencefics]

stir me up

Harry Styles doesn’t know much, but he does know two things. He knows that there’s not many things a good cocktail can’t fix, and he also knows that he can’t stop thinking about the blonde-haired girl who he shamelessly flirts with during his shift every Friday evening.

Willa Tillerson might know too much, to be fair. She knows that she lets work slowly take over her life, she knows that this work-life balance her friends talk about is nothing short of fiction, and she knows that she can’t help but look forward to Friday’s so that she can flirt with the handsome barman at the pub across the street.

A oneshot about drinks and the people who make them, featuring a hint of pining and a dash of a (potential) happily ever after.

written for @stellarboystyles​‘s 3 year anniversary 

mutual pining // prompt #3 “You’re really cute when you start rambling like that.”

harry/ofc, 15k

Willa Tillerson notices two things instantly when she walks into The Churchill Arms after a long and tiring day at work. The first is that her coworkers have already started without her, a pile of empty pint glasses nearly towering over the wooden table they’ve deemed as their own in the back corner of the pub. The second is that her favorite barman is working.

She tries her hardest not to make eye contact with him, because Willa has always thrived on playing hard to get. But there’s no denying that he makes it that much more difficult, with the way his brown hair wisps around his forehead in fluffy curls, and the way his black collared work shirt strains over his bulging biceps when he pulls a pint from the tap, and the way his green eyes light up and cherry lips quirk with a boyish grin when the door shuts tightly behind her, the bell above clanging together in a pretty tune.

Willa Tillerson is trying.

Before she can begin putting her black leather Saint Laurent boots in front of the other, she hears a loud posh voice calling her over towards the back table. With her new handbag held tightly under her armpit, she begins barrelling forward, purposely sashaying her hips back and forth when she walks past the bartop, ignoring the hot gaze that hits her lower back.

“About time! You’re nearly an hour late, Ms. Workaholic,” Annabelle tuts once Willa has approached the table. She rolls her eyes, putting her Celine handbag on the hook below the table and throwing her Isabel Marant wool longline jacket on the back of one of the unoccupied chairs.

“Oh be quiet, I just had some last minute things to catch up on,” Willa retorts, doing her best to turn off Work Willa and turn on Fun Willa.

It’s hard sometimes, considering her job has been taking over most of her life for the better part of the year. She loves the work, and Willa will be the first person to admit that, but it can be a bit gruelling at times.

But she can’t complain, because she’s passionate about her position as a senior designer at Kensington Interior Design Ltd. Willa’s been lucky enough to work at the company ever since she finished uni years ago, and she received the promotion almost four months ago. Her workload had increased tenfold—but she really can’t lament. Even though she’s almost the last person to leave the office every night, and she’s now the last person to trickle in to their after-work drinks tradition that started a few years ago, and she honestly can’t remember the last time she had been out on a date ever since she’s been working through the weekends.

Willa’s really trying.

The sudden urge to have a cocktail is almost all-consuming. So with a quick flick of her neck towards the bartop to Annabelle, Willa grasps her wallet in her hand and struts over towards the counter where her favorite barman is already waiting for her.

“Evening,” he calls out, his right dimple already sunk deep into his ivory skin, causing Willa to grin right back at him. His arms are stretched out wide against the dark wooden countertop, causing his large shoulders to jut out. Willa is doing her best to not stare at the dark ink swirling up and down his toned arms.

“Hi Harry,” Willa responds easily back, resting her forearms on the countertop and leaning forward in her boots so that her cleavage is a bit more exposed in her tight white blouse.

“Your regular, then?” He asks with his deep voice, and Willa just nods back, suppressing the flush that’s beginning to crawl up her sternum when Harry reaches down for the bottle of gin and begins scooping ice into the shaker, pouring a generous amount into the tin.

Harry’s focus shifts towards the task at hand, and he feels grateful for the excuse to point his green eyes at something other than Willa’s pretty face and exposed neckline. He’s really doing his best to keep his eyes above her collarbones, but she’s making it increasingly difficult with each shift forward against the wooden bartop.

“How was work?” Harry asks after placing the gin bottle back into the speed rack. The distraction of watching him make a cocktail is brief, but Willa is happy for the extra minutes she gets to stare at him unabashedly without him knowing.

“The usual, how about you?” His eyes finally rise from the cocktail shaker and meet hers, and her lips begin to lift because she already knows what he’s going to say.

“The usual.” It’s said with a shrug and a smirk, and even though Willa and Harry have the same transfer of words every Friday evening, it still doesn’t fail to make her red-painted lips quirk up in a pretty smile.

He hands over her martini in exchange for Willa’s credit card, which he slides through the machine swiftly to start her tab that he knows won’t exceed four drinks.

Willa loves how their little flirting ruse has been quite routine for the past two months. She knows that they flirt from a distance, with lingering gazes and small quips of lips into half-smiles, half-smirks. She knows that he remembers her drink order by heart, but still asks her because it’s cordial. She knows that he always asks her how work was, to which she always responds the same thing. She knows it all.

So when she starts to pivot on her back foot to head towards her coworkers, she stops abruptly when Harry leans forward against the bartop, crossing his arms over his chest to support his torso.

Because she hasn’t known him to do this.

“You look nice tonight, Willa.” His voice sends shockwaves through her insides and it happens so quickly that she can’t even try to hide the blush that finally rests on her cheekbones. Before she can think of a witty response or even a gentle thank you, Harry’s already begun moving to the other side of the bar to help another customer.

Before Willa can start to get confused glances from other patrons, she begins to walk forward towards her coworkers, trying her hardest to force the blush to leave her cheeks. Because Harry has never complimented her appearance before, and while she appreciates the gesture, she can’t help but wonder if her surprised look threw him off.

“He is too fit to be a barman,” Ethan says once Willa has slipped into the chair with her jacket on the back, pulling a long sip from her Vesper. She’s grateful for the harsh sting that soothes her burning insides.

“He really is. If I was single I would jump on that in a heartbeat,” Annabelle agrees, shooting Willa a knowing look to which she tries her hardest to ignore.

She really doesn’t want to talk about her love life, or lack thereof, in front of her coworkers.

“Honestly Willa, if he played on my team I would already have done it,” Ethan announces a bit too loudly, forcing Willa to swat at his side.

“Ethan!” Willa shrieks, shooting a glance over his shoulder to see if Harry had overheard anything. He hasn’t, luckily, but he has felt her gaze linger on his frame for a bit too long, so when green eyes meet blue she quickly looks away, swallowing down her drink.

Ethan just shrugs her off, finishing up the pint in front of him. “Oh, bugger off. I don’t know what you’re waiting on, Wills. You clearly fancy him.”

“I don’t even know him enough to fancy him, you twat,” Willa says, placing her drink down on the table to give her friend a sharp look. “I think he’s nice to look at. And he makes a good drink. That’s it.”

It’s a lie and everybody at the table knows it, so when they all roll their eyes and tell her to fuck off, she doesn’t even feel bad.

“Sure, Wills. Fancy getting the next round, then? If you just think he makes a good drink, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?” Ethan asks and Willa just ignores him, practically finishing her martini in two full gulps. She knows that he’s taunting her, and when he looks at her Willa shakes her head, praying that he’ll just drop it.

He does, because even though Ethan can be a bit much at times, he knows all of the shit that Willa has been through this past year. And while he means well and really wants Willa to branch out and meet new people, he knows that he can’t push her. So he lets it go and Willa does her hardest to not watch Ethan interact with Harry at the bar. Does her hardest to ignore the way Harry’s gaze shifts to hers in a questioning look when Ethan orders her a new martini.

She needs more liquid courage.

So when Ethan hands her another drink without a word, she’s thankful for that. Because as much as she wants to talk to Harry again, she’s far too shy to do it herself. And not to mention a little thrown off at his last comment—because she wasn’t sure that their relationship existed outside of flirtatious looks and short-worded conversations.

So she sits in the back with her coworkers and drinks and makes sure that whenever she chances a look at Harry, he’s busy doing other things. And after she’s finished her third cocktail, she throws her jacket on and approaches the bar to close her tab, just like every other Friday before that.

“Have a good night, Harry,” Willa says once she’s slipped her wallet into her purse and slides the checkbook over towards his large hands.

Harry just nods, looking at her with that special glint in his eyes he saves just for her. “You too, Willa. See you next week.”

And when she walks over towards the door and feels the chill of the autumn breeze hit her flushed cheeks, she’s wondering if the warmth that lingers on her skin is from Harry’s gaze or if she’s just imagining it.

***

Willa’s spirits are quite high when she walks into The Churchill Arms that next Friday only a few minutes after five o’clock for the first time in about a month.

She had just won over a top tier client and was working on the next steps to continue growing her portfolio. It was between Willa and another senior designer at the firm, and by some stroke of luck, she had been chosen to redecorate the master bedroom in their Knightsbridge mansion.

Her good mood is palpable, and Harry can practically feel her beaming from the entryway of the bar. She looks the same as she always does, far too pretty and successful to banter with a barman like himself, but she still does it anyway. Her long legs are hidden under flowy navy dress pants, heels giving her that extra bit of height that makes her seem larger than life in the dimly lit bar. She’s wearing a cream-colored scoop neck top that makes Harry imagine what she’ll look like leaned over the bartop, and before he can even realize he’s been staring at her for far too long, she gives him a glowing smile and he feels as if he’s weightless.

Willa saunters over towards the table in the back where her coworkers are already waiting for her, with Ethan grabbing her jacket and handbag and wrapping her up in a hug and Annabelle holding out a shot glass filled with clear liquid and a bright smile covering her face.

It’s times like these when Willa feels as if everything is falling into place.

She shoots back the tequila with grace, clamping her teeth down on the lime until the acidic taste quels the stinging of the liquor. Willa leans her head into the crook of Ethan’s neck, feeling his warmth completely encapsulate her body.

“So proud of you, Wills,” Ethan whispers into her blonde hair. Willa just squeezes his hip back in thanks, reaching into her handbag to grab her leather wallet, beginning her normal trek up to the bartop to see Harry.

He’s already waiting for her like usual, a rapturous smile covering his face. He looks exactly how she feels—happy and warm and safe, and she wonders if she’s just realizing it now or if he’s always looked like that. His arms are doing that thing again where the muscles practically stretch his cotton work shirt to shreds, and his eyes are doing that shimmering thing where Willa knows she should look away but she can’t, and his hair is doing that floppy thing that makes Willa want to run her fingers through the tendrils, and Willa feels the warmest she’s felt all night.

“Hi Harry,” Willa says once she’s approached the counter, leaning forward and causing Harry’s green eyes to darken a bit. It’s exactly as he imagined it, and he isn’t even trying to hide the fact that his pupils dart down before lifting to her blue eyes once more.

“Evening, Willa. Celebrating something?” He asks, gesticulating towards the empty tray of shot glasses lingering on the wooden table her coworkers are occupying in the back of the room.

Her eyes light up even more and she nods her head in an excited, enamoring way. He leans forward too, resting one forearm on the clean bartop and his other arm is bent at the elbow, holding his face as he watches her.

Willa tries her hardest not to lean forward an inch more.

“Had a good day at work, landed a really important client,” Willa explains, and she’s fully aware that the pair are straying from their usual Friday conversation, but she really could care less.

Harry gives her a look of admiration. “That’s wonderful. Congratulations are in order, I reckon.” He’s giving her a mischievous look and Willa suddenly feels intrigued. Apparently that was the only sign of approval Harry needed, because he suddenly reaches down and makes two shot glasses practically appear out of thin air, pouring them to the brim with the same clear liquid Willa had just swallowed a few moments prior.

“I’m hoping the other one is for you?” Willa asks in a low voice, cocking her head to the side and looking up at Harry under her thick eyelashes. He can practically feel the groan forming in the back of his throat when he pictures her looking up at him for a different reason entirely, but he suppresses it with a quick nod of his head.

“‘Course. ‘S bad luck to take a shot by yourself.” His voice is even lower than hers, and Willa’s surprised that she can hear it clearly with the barrier of the bartop between them. Willa seemingly agrees with Harry’s statement, because she’s suddenly standing upright, reaching her long fingers out to cup the cool glass in her palm, arching her eyebrow when she realizes that Harry is watching her instead of copying her movements.

“Cheers, Harry,” Willa says, extending her arm and smirking to herself when Harry hurriedly grips the short glass, sloshing a bit of the tequila over the edge. He regains his cool composure though, before extending his arm as well and clinking the glasses softly together.

“Cheers, Willa.” His voice is guttural and Willa can practically feel it resonate through her. But before she could think about it too much, she’s bringing the glass to her rogue lips and knocking the liquid back, keeping her blue eyes locked on Harry’s green.

His lips are moistened from the tequila and a small dribble has started to form on the lower left side of his mouth, threatening to leak down to his chin. Without even thinking (or maybe thinking quite a bit, to be fair), Willa reaches her hand out and cups Harry’s chin, before thumbing at the liquid to make it disappear.

His eyes are blown wide and suddenly the clamor from the busy bar turns into white noise, and all Harry can see is Willa. All he wants to do is grab her smaller hand in his and hold on for dear life, bringing her closer and closer into his atmosphere before she floats away. But then, a voice asking for a refill breaks his reverie and he’s back to tending the bar and ignoring the blazing feeling of where Willa’s hand once was on his mouth.

She waits patiently while he pulls a pint from the tap, watching as his large hands grip the cool glass easily, the motions practically ingrained in his system. He’s quite graceful behind the bar, all long limbs grabbing glasses and mixing different liquids together in such a fashion that makes Willa never want to return to that wooden table in the back of the room.

Before long, he’s right back in front of her, asking if she wants her usual drink to which she responds with a dazed yes. He doesn’t say much to her, still reeling from the fact that she was so close and he couldn’t do anything about it because he was behind the bar and she was on the receiving end, the sobering cognizance surging back into his skin that he is, in fact, at work, and can’t spend his night kissing the pretty blonde patron (even if it’s all he can think about, really).

Once the martini is placed on a cocktail napkin in front of her, Willa reaches for her credit card causing Harry to shake his head with a small grin on his lips.

“No, no. This one’s on me,” before Willa can protest, he cuts her off. “Congrats again, Willa.” And with that he’s off to the other end of the bar, leaving Willa feeling a lot more hot (and bothered) than she was earlier.

Once Willa returns back to the table, she finds herself sandwiched between Ethan and Annabelle, talking about anything and everything. The group rarely bring up work, and instead, Willa finds herself joking around with the office intern and reminiscing about drunken uni nights, finds herself gushing over Annabell’s engagement ring and revelling in wedding plans, finds herself laughing at Ethan’s crude jokes about all of the failed dates he’s been on in the past few months.

Willa finds that she’s actually having a lot of fun.

After her second martini, Willa asks the group if they’d like another round and with a few negative responses, she walks back over towards the bar. Harry can see her out of his periphery, and the sight of her with flushed cheeks and messy hair and glossy eyes causes him to overpour the pint glass in his hand, sticky beer coating his long fingers.

He shakes it off and rubs the remaining liquid on the bar rag in his back pocket, handing the glass over to the burly man who ordered it and accepting his payment with a quick nod. He really wants to head over to where Willa is before the other barman notices her.

Harry’s expecting her to ask for her tab, because he’s noticed that she’s had two martinis and two tequila shots, and she’ll probably want to call it an evening.

But when she’s looking at him with big blue eyes and a hint of a smirk on her lips, he’s suddenly hoping that she doesn’t want to leave. That she’ll stay for quite a bit longer, actually. (And maybe even long enough so that he can walk her home after his shift, but he doesn’t want to think about that all too much).

“Hi Harry, fancy making me another?” Willa asks once he’s in front of her, swiveling the empty up glass in her dainty fingertips. He smiles at her, plucking the glass from between her hands, trying to ignore the burning feeling on his flesh from where their fingers touched.

“Thought you’d be heading out by now,” Harry says in between exchanging the gin bottle for the vodka bottle, pouring a generous amount into the tin.

Willa laughs a bit, shaking her head softly. “Kind of feel like staying out a bit longer.” She’s fully aware that the alcohol she’s consumed throughout the evening has made her much more bold, but she really doesn’t care. She’s grateful for it, in fact, once she’s noticed the darkened look in Harry’s eyes and the sultry smirk gracing his cherry lips.

“I’m glad. Always feel like you cut out a bit early, anyways.” His eyes lift from stirring the liquid in the tin to her pupils, and Willa wonders if he’s speaking in riddles like she is.

“Are you trying to persuade me to stay longer?” Willa asks, and she’s doing that leaning forward thing again and Harry can feel his neck tense with the running reminder to not ogle at the swell of her breasts trapped inside her tight top.

He puts the top back on the cocktail shaker and lines up a new glass, straining the Vesper into it. “Might be.” He’s trying to be smug but Willa is really testing his patience, and she’s found that she quite enjoys making him squirm.

She grabs the glass as he’s placing it on the bartop, her thin fingers falling over his wider ones, causing his hand to still. She’s leaning forward on her forearm, her chest resting over the skin practically causing her breasts to spill out of the tight material of her top. Harry gulps harshly, slipping his fingers out from under hers and immediately regretting the warm feeling that leaves his hand.

Willa giggles again, staring at Harry as she takes a sip from the cocktail, her lipstick leaving a mark on the lip of the glass, making Harry practically fall over at the sight of her.

He has a feeling she knows exactly what she’s doing to him, and normally, he would be annoyed. But for some reason, this pretty girl with too-expensive shoes and put-together makeup and an all-together sophisticated demeanor is somehow the hottest person he’s seen sitting at this bar in weeks. And even when her hair is messy and her eyes are blown out and her lipstick is a little smudged, she still causes Harry to fidget and second guess what he’s saying to her.

He also can’t deny the sudden urge to bend her over in the toilets and make her squirm instead.

He coughs into his fist, breaking the spell, and thankfully Willa gets the hint. Without another word, she slides her credit card over the wooden counter and slips it under Harry’s palm, muttering a slow, “Keep it open, please,” before slinking back to her friends.

Harry’s in a daze and he really needs to do something about the tightness in his pants. But before he can dwell on it any longer, a redheaded girl has taken over the spot Willa was once in and he’s forced to think about something other than the blonde girl sneaking looks at him from across the room.

After two more cocktails, Willa has come to the conclusion that she’s had quite enough to drink. She’s the type of drunkenness where laughter comes far too easily and she feels a bit too warm in her clothes, and while she has the sudden urge to dance and kiss a pretty boy, she knows that she’s done for the night. Because she doesn’t want to lose this feeling, and one more drink will definitely cause her to be the type of drunkenness that includes a side of nausea and a dizzying headache.

She grabs her belongings and gives both Annabelle and Ethan a sloppy kiss on the cheek, promising to meet them Sunday afternoon for brunch. Willa starts heading toward the bar on shaky feet, and when Harry looks at her with an amused grin on his face, she’s quite thankful for the countertop that she can latch onto, because she could get lost in his green eyes if she wanted to (and she really wanted to, more than anything).

“I think I’m throwing in the towel,” Willa slurs through a smile, watching the way Harry’s lower lip juts out in a pout. Her eyes fall to the pinkness of his round lower lip, noticing the slightly chapped skin and admiring the stubble framing his mouth. She starts to think about how kissable they look, but then the pout leaves and he’s forming words and Willa focuses back to listening instead of staring at him hungrily.

“Ah. As the barman, I fully support this decision,” Harry starts, sliding a glass of water over in her direction and beginning to run her credit card before slipping the receipt into a checkbook with a pen. “But, as a normal guy, I’m quite disappointed.”

Willa pauses signing the dotted line at the bottom of the paper. “A normal guy, huh?”

He watches her close the book and slide it back over in his direction, her face scrunched up in confusion. He wonders how somebody could be both sexy and cute at the same time, and wonders how she does it so effortlessly.

“Yep. You do know that I work on other days besides Friday, yeah?” Harry asks, leaning a bit forward so that the conversation can be as intimate as possible in the newly crowded area.

Willa looks at him and smiles, relief flushing over her as her drunken convoluted mind comes to the conclusion that Harry is, in fact, finally making a move. Albeit it’s not as direct and Willa is fairly certain that if she were a bit more sober she’d actually pick up on what he’s been hinting at the entire night, but nonetheless, she takes it in stride, finding herself leaning in a bit more towards his towering frame.

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer.” Willa watches as Harry’s eyes light up, and she’s almost certain that he’s leaning closer towards her, but she steps back with a sly smirk. She wants to leave Harry wanting more (even though all he does is want her, practically every waking moment she’s in this bar), so she sneaks away with a tiny wave, causing Harry to come to a startling realization.

Willa Tillerson knows exactly what she’s doing.

***

The next time Harry sees Willa, he didn’t think she’d look so dejected.

He hears the bells chime when the heavy oak door closes behind her. It’s a Wednesday, therefore her usual gang of coworkers haven’t entered the bar at all this evening. At first glance, Harry’s excited to see her, thinking about the last time he saw her and invited her to come in on a non-Friday. But once he sees her blue eyes are a bit dull and her trousers are crinkled from slumping in her office chair long after everybody has left and she just looks, well, sad, he’s instantly concerned.

Willa wasn’t really thinking all too clearly about her arrival when she looks around the half-full bar. It’s a much different scene inside than it normally is on Fridays—the leather booths along the far side of the wall are filled with people eating dinner, the music is a calm acoustic playlist, and Harry is standing alone behind the bartop.

She can feel his eyes on her frame immediately, and while the warmth is still there, she suddenly feels timid under his unwavering gaze. Willa’s fully aware that she looks exactly how she feels—complete and utter shit. It’s a far cry from how she felt the last time she stepped foot in The Churchill Arms, but she didn’t feel like going home, and when she remembers Harry’s invitation to come in on another day, she didn’t really think twice about changing her route to the bar instead of the tube to head home for the evening.

“Evening Willa,” Harry greets her like normal, and he isn’t really sure how to play this one out. He really wanted to sound more excited to see her, maybe playful even, but he doesn’t want to scare her away. Because even though she looks upset, he still really is glad she came in.

But there’s no denying he’s worried.

“Hi Harry,” Willa mumbles, sliding her heavy Theory trench coat off her shoulders and hanging it around the back of the leather barstool. Her handbag rests on the hook under the bartop, and she realizes then that this is the first time she’s ever sat at the bar with Harry in front of her.

He slides a cocktail napkin over in her direction, just like he does with every other customer, and waits patiently for her to look him in the eyes. When she finally does, clear blue eyes squinting up at him with an unknown emotion covering her face, he wants nothing more than to jump over the barrier between them and hold her close.

But he can’t.

So he does the next best thing he could think of—ask her what she’d like to drink.

Harry is expecting her to ask for her usual. But she surprises him (something she’s been doing quite a bit of lately) and gives him a sad, half-smile. “What do you usually drink when you’ve had a shit day?”

He frowns at that. “That bad, huh?” He’s leaning down over the counter on his forearms, trying to reach her at eye level. She’s not backing away, which Harry appreciates, and before he can lean in a bit closer, she gives him a small shrug.

“Yep. I’m officially the sad girl at a bar asking the cute barman to make her feel better with copious amounts of alcohol. Think you can help me out with that?” Willa’s head is cocked to the right in question, her blue eyes brightening when Harry’s lips form a deep grin.

“You think I’m cute?” He asks, reaching for the nice bottle of Reposado he saves for himself after long nights behind the bar. Harry watches as Willa gives him a genuine smile, and he finally feels the mood begin to lighten around them.

Willa chooses not to answer, instead, her eyes widen at the bottle in his large hands. “Tequila? Are you trying to kill me?”

He laughs, reaching into the ice bin to deposit a few cubes into the highball glass on the counter. “This isn’t just any tequila, Willa. Trust me, you’ll like it.”

When the cold glass lands on the cocktail napkin in front of her, she reaches for it, holding it up in front of her face a bit in Harry’s direction in cheers. His eyes squint behind his smile when her lips wrap around the glass, taking a generous sip without flinching.

She doesn’t need to tell him that it’s good, because he already knows that.

Instead, he rests his palms on the countertop and looks down at her. “So, why are you officially the sad girl at my bar, Willa?”

“Christ,” Willa starts, swallowing down another gulp of tequila. “Am I really going to be that person who tells the barman all the woes in their life?”

Harry laughs. “Only doing my job here, babe.”

She laughs a bit, finally feeling a bit better. Maybe her decision in coming here wasn’t as stupid as she originally thought. Maybe seeing Harry on a night where she can actually hear him and be in his presence without the lingering feeling of another patron waiting for her to finish up, or the looks she gets from Ethan and Annabelle when she’s so obviously flirting with him, or the loud music reverberating through the wooden walls, is exactly what she needed.

So, Willa gives in.

“You know how I’m an interior designer, right?” Willa starts, watching as Harry nods instantly. “Well, I had just gotten back from a meeting with a new client—”

“—The big one, yeah? The one you were celebrating last week?” Harry asks, and Willa immediately feels her cheekbones warm. She feels a bubbling in her stomach at the fact that Harry remembered, and before she can get sidetracked on the feeling inside of her, he’s nodding at her in a way that’s asking her to continue.

“Yeah. Anyways, on my way back to my office, I ran into my ex-boyfriend.” Willa takes a break to sip the tequila again, trying her hardest to wash the image of Gavin and his blonde hair and smug look out of her brain with each harsh sip.

“That’s never fun,” Harry admits. There’s no denying the fact that he’s a bit chuffed to hear that she has an ex-boyfriend. Even though a part of him knew deep down that she must have been single with the way she was flirting with him and pushing her chest in his direction and wiping his lips clean of leftover tequila. But he can never be too sure.

But he doesn’t want her to think that.

“Oh that’s not the best part!” Willa announces, feeling herself hot with anger once again. She thought she had gotten rid of it when she slumped in her leather office chair for the past few hours, staring at the white wall thinking about how much of a fucking prick Gavin actually was.

“What happened?” Harry’s voice is soft and kind and it suddenly calms Willa down. She starts to feel her anger dissipate with each second Harry’s green eyes are on hers, and she’s wondering what that all means.

“He was early for a meeting with one of my coworkers. He has plans to make the spare bedroom in his loft a nursery.” Willa’s eyes fall from Harry’s and focuses on the amber liquid sloshing around the heavy ice cubes. Instead of anger, Willa just feels sad.

Not only sad. She also feels a bit stupid, if she’s being honest.

Because Gavin didn’t want her in the same way Willa wanted him. Gavin wanted stability, a place of his own with a wife who would be home with their baby. He always believed that Willa put her career first, which in hindsight, was probably true.

But Willa was not the type of woman to stop doing what she loved in order to make the person she was with feel secure. She was not the type of woman to bury her feelings in order to make her partner feel comfortable. She was not the type of woman who would drop everything in her life to have a baby.

So when she tells him this, he walks away.

It was only until today that Willa discovered he had found another woman to do all of that for him instead.

“I’m sorry, Willa. That’s really shit,” Harry says softly, forcing Willa to turn away from the liquid in her glass and look at him. Him, with his fluffy chestnut curls. Him, with his forehead scrunched in concern. Him, with his cherry lips turned downwards. Him, who causes Willa to realize that she shouldn’t be upset over Gavin.

Not anymore, that is.

“Yeah,” she shrugs and finishes off her drink, nodding silently when Harry offers her another. “It’s been almost a year now, and honestly I do feel like I’m over it. It’s just—I don’t know. It just sucks realizing that he’s moved on and he’s finally gotten what he wants and I’m still so unsure of everything.”

“Who says we’re supposed to have everything figured out?” Harry responds, placing a new drink in front of Willa.

She looks at him and wonders how he can make sense of all of this with a few measly words. Wonders how he always seems so confident and sure. Wonders how he’s made her feel comfortable in this bar on a Wednesday night. Wonders if he’s always been like this, to be fair.

“You’re quite good at this,” Willa says after a beat, smiling when Harry laughs.

“Yeah, well, it’s part of the gig.” Before he can stay and talk with her longer (because he could give fuck all about his job at this point), one of the waitresses rings in a drink order and Harry’s off to the other end of the bar, pouring pints and scooping ice into glasses.

Willa doesn’t mind. She actually finds it quite comforting to watch him work. He’s a natural conversationalist, always making eye contact and coaxing laughter out of people. And while she sits and continues to drink, she notices how he always manages to glance her way whenever he is in the middle of performing different tasks, and she finds that her heart keeps swelling with every shy look he sends her.

Two more drinks later, Willa starts to realize that she hasn’t even thought about Gavin at all. Instead, her mind is filled with green eyes and curly hair and mermaid tattoos. She’s found that her eyes keep tracing over Harry’s features—at his sharp jawline, his scattered freckles, his carved muscles, his long torso. She’s quite overwhelmed with how handsome he is under the dim bar lighting, and she’s quite grateful to be sitting this close to him for this long.

Harry makes sure to keep Willa company between drinks, watching the way she seems to grow a bit lighter with each passing sip. A large part of him wishes he could just close early so he could take her home and make sure she stays this level of content for the remainder of the evening, but with each passing hour, he’s watching her eyes grow a bit heavier and he knows that it’s only a matter of time before she leaves him again.

Willa begins to reach for her wallet just as Harry saunters over towards her. “Leaving so soon?” He asks even though he already knows the answer.

“Unfortunately, I have to wake up early tomorrow for work. And I’m already dreading the ghastly tequila hangover I’ll be dealing with,” Willa says, handing over the thick plastic card in Harry’s direction.

Harry laughs. “Hey! I wasn’t the one who asked for a different drink this time!” His tone is light but Willa is quite intoxicated, and normally she would be able to identify the hint of sarcasm lacing his words. But she can’t this time, and suddenly her cheeks burn red and she starts stammering out an apology and Harry can’t help but watch her with a grin.

“Shit! I, uh, didn’t mean it like that. I mean, yeah—I definitely asked you for your usual, and I didn’t mean to insult you! I just, uh, let me rephrase—”

Harry’s laughter cuts her off and Willa drops her forehead into her awaiting palms in embarrassment. “You’re really cute when you start rambling like that.”

Willa lifts her head up and smiles at him, reaching for the checkbook in his extended arms. “You think I’m cute?” She asks in the same way Harry did to her hours earlier, and she watches as he looks deep into her eyes with an unwavering look.

“Much more than cute.”

If Willa was warm before, she feels sweltering under his gaze. She tries her hardest not to let his words affect her, but she gives herself away when she almost drops her credit card while she’s trying to slide it into her wallet, when she starts fidgeting in the leather of the barstool, when her throat suddenly becomes dry and she starts to take heavy gulps of the water glass in front of her.

“Do you live close by?” Harry asks after a beat of silence passes through them. He’s suddenly aware of the late hour, and even though he wishes she could stay, he has the overwhelming urge to make sure she gets home safely.

Willa shakes her head before wrapping herself up in her coat. “No, near Swiss Cottage. I’ll just take the tube, it’s not far.”

Harry immediately shakes his head, reaching behind him to grab the telephone near the till. “Nonsense, you’re not taking the tube at this hour. Sit here, I’ll call you a cab.”

Before Willa can argue, Harry’s already punching the numbers into the phone, giving the driver the address of the pub to pick Willa up at. Normally, Willa would be annoyed at his forwardness. But, she finds it quite charming that Harry is hellbent on making sure she gets home safely, and she finds that she’s not annoyed in the slightest.

“He’ll be ‘round in ten minutes,” Harry announces once he’s hung up and he’s stood in front of her again, looking at her in a way that makes Willa warm all over.

He has a habit of doing that, she thinks.

Just as she was going to thank him, Harry’s attention is drawn to the older man at the end of the bar asking to settle up his tab. With an apologetic look, he heads over, forcing Willa to wrap her scarf around her neck and gather her handbag so she’s not sitting there looking at Harry like a lovesick puppy.

When Harry’s back in front of her, she notices the headlights in the windows announcing the arrival of her cab. Just as she’s about to say her goodbyes, Harry cuts her off, his arms holding him up as he leans forward, staring at her with nothing but intent in his green eyes.

“Go out with me.”

“Pardon?” Willa asks, completely thrown off by his declaration.

“Saturday. I want to take you out.” The cab driver honks from outside and Harry’s practically desperate, needing Willa to say yes. He doesn't think he’ll get another chance alone with her.

Her eyes shift from the car to his. “Okay.”

“Yeah?” He asks, breathless.

“Yeah.” It’s final, sure and assertive, and before Harry can say anything else, Willa’s already heading for the door, offering him one last lingering gaze before the bells clang above her head, signalling her departure.

Harry’s almost positive he’ll be dreaming of that look for the next three days.

***

On Friday evening, Willa decides to skip out on after-work drinks with her coworkers. It’s not because she doesn’t want to see Harry—because every time she closes her eyes all she sees are his staring back, and she really doesn’t know what to do about that.

Willa’s not used to being so enthralled with somebody else, and all she wants is to play it cool for their upcoming date. So when she’s home in her flat, she throws her mobile on her bed after ignoring Ethan and Annabelle’s incessant calls about her bailing on them. And just before she falls asleep, she digs into her comforter and finds that she has a text waiting for her from an unknown number with an address and a message underneath.

Don’t overthink it. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. x

When she clicks on the address and it populates on her Maps app on her mobile, she finds that it’s a pub somewhere in Camden. Before she can overthink it, just like Harry’s message predicted, she shuts off her mobile and forces herself to sleep and try not to think about the boy who’s been infiltrating her dreams for the past three nights.

Just as Willa’s getting ready for her date, she decides that she’s been ignoring Ethan for far too long, and reluctantly decides to call him back while applying a generous coat of mascara to her eyelashes.

“Christ Willa! You have a date with the fit barman and decide to go AWOL in the meantime? How bloody selfish can you be!” Ethan’s voice squeaks out through the receiver on Willa’s mobile, and she honestly shouldn’t be surprised at his dramatics after knowing him for four years, but she still rolls her eyes anyways.

“His name is Harry,” Willa decides to mention while placing the mascara wand back in the tube on her vanity.

“Oh, pardon my mistake, Wills. Imagine my surprise when Harry asked me for your bloody number last night! You at least could’ve given me a heads up so I didn’t look like an absolute git standing there with my mouth hanging open,” Ethan recounts, and Willa can practically see his erratic hand movements with each stressed syllable that comes out of his lips.

“Aren’t you the one who’s always telling me to branch out and meet new people?” Willa says through mumbles, making sure her lipstick application isn’t butchered through her choppy conversation with Ethan.

She hears Ethan’s cackle through the speakers. “I didn’t actually think you’d listen!”

Willa chooses not to respond. Instead, she leaves her bathroom vanity and heads over to her closet to grab her black leather heeled boots resting on the bottom of her shoe rack. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she starts shoving them on while she waits for Ethan to talk—knowing fully well that quiet pauses in conversations never sit well with her obnoxious friend.

“So, where’s fit Harry taking you?” Ethan finally asks.

“Some pub in Camden, according to the address he sent me,” Willa says while grabbing her tube of lipstick, keys, and wallet and throwing them into her small black leather shoulder bag.

“Camden!? Please tell me you’re not wearing your bloody Celine bag!” Ethan is absolutely ruthless and Willa is really regretting calling him back.

“Will you calm down? I doubt Harry would take me to some dodgy pub,” Willa assures him, flicking off the overhead light in her bedroom as well as the kitchen light and beginning to lock up her front door.

“It’s just so not you, Wills.” Ethan’s words cause Willa to freeze while turning her key into the lock in the hallway of her apartment complex. In retrospect, Ethan does have a point. Willa’s not entirely sure what she’s doing going out with the barman she’s been shamelessly flirting with for the past two months.

And while it’s slightly terrifying, Willa finds a rush of excitement scouring through her veins.

“What if that’s the point?” Her friend hums on the other line, and it’s one of those rare moments when Ethan is actually silent during conversation. Willa takes this in stride, locking up her front door and heading out towards the Underground near her complex.

She says goodbye to Ethan as she’s descending the cement stairs, knowing fully well that her reception will cut out the further down into the station she goes. Willa promises to call him the next morning, and reassures him that she’ll let him know if she needs a rescue (even though she’s fully certain that no danger will come her way with Harry by her side), and happily ends the call just as she’s stepped onto the platform.

The journey doesn’t take as long as Willa would like, considering she’s still wringing her hands together as her body is riddled with nerves when she gets off at the appropriate stop. While Harry has done nothing but make her feel comfortable, there’s no denying that for the first time since knowing him, she’s finally meeting him outside the comfort of The Churchill Arms. She’s finally going to be able to stand near him without the barrier of the bar between them, and while the thought of that is what sends her brain into overdrive, there’s no denying the nervous butterflies floating around her stomach, racking against her ribs until she’s forced to meet the situation head-on, exiting the Underground faster than when she first entered.

Once she’s on the pavement outside, she reaches for her mobile to pull up the address Harry sent her last night. According to her Maps, the pub is a short five minute trek from the tube station. Tucking her chin into her charcoal longline jacket to escape the biting wind, Willa starts walking, trying her hardest to quell the rib-racking nerves shaking her body.

Just as she’s a block away, she notices her destination on the corner of a somewhat quieter intersection. The building is tall, brick-faced at street level, a black sign with The Camden Eye written in capitalized white letters. The pub is lodged between a restaurant and a coffee shop that’s long since been closed. When Willa cranes her neck up, she can tell that it’s two-floors, with loud laughter reverberating through the cream-colored cement walls that have aged with time.

Willa’s head begins to search over the small crowd of people outside the front door, trying her hardest to spot curly hair amidst the cigarette smoke wafting around the entrance. Just as her eyes fall on a tall figure in a cable knit jumper and a long navy trench coat, eyes locked on the glowing screen of his mobile, her own vibrates in her left hand, and she notices it’s from Harry.

Hey, I’m waiting outside. Can’t wait to see you. x

She grins at the message, locking her phone instead of responding to his text considering he was standing just across the street from her. As she approaches him quietly, she takes this time to quietly acknowledge him. It’s sort of cute the way he stares at his phone, undoubtedly waiting for the bubbled three dots to appear with her response that won’t come. He shifts a bit in his brogue boots, the hand not holding his mobile nipping at his lower lip.

Willa wonders if Harry is as nervous as she is, too.

Before she can get caught, her heeled boots stop a few feet away from his, and she watches his head snap up when she calls out his name softly.

Almost instantly, Harry shoves his mobile into his pocket, no longer needing the distraction. Instead, his green eyes shift to Willa’s blue, and his mouth quirks up in that slanted boyish grin of his that she has grown to love, his dimples appearing through the light stubble surrounding his mouth. Willa watches as his eyes dart down from her face to scan over her outfit, and for the first time since knowing her, Harry finds that he quite enjoys the version of Willa standing in front of him.

This version wears denim jeans that are tight around the waist and upper thigh, before falling straight until cropping just at her ankles, showcasing her square-toed leather boots. He takes note of the haphazard holes in her trousers, giving Willa’s look a bit more edge than he’s normally accustomed to. Harry thanks the gods above that she’s wearing another top that shows just the perfect amount of cleavage, his eyes falling to the stacked gold necklaces resting on the smooth skin under her long neck.

While Willa appreciates the way Harry’s arms look in his collared work shirt, there’s something about the way he looks in a cable knit jumper that gets her heart racing just a bit quicker than normal. He looks to be the perfect mixture of comfort yet cool, and as her eyes linger on his waist hidden beneath a pair of worn-in denim trousers, she can’t help but be fully aware that she’s been ogling him for far too long.

But when her eyes finally catch his and she takes note of the surprised glint in his irises, she’s not embarrassed at all, because Harry’s also aware that he’s been caught, too.

“Was starting to think you’d bail on me,” Harry finally says, stepping a bit closer to her on the somewhat crowded pavement.

Willa giggles and Harry’s heart almost stills. “Told you I was coming, didn’t I?”

Harry’s starting to think that if he had to banter with her for the rest of his life, he probably wouldn’t mind it at all. In fact, the thought is practically all-consuming at this very moment.

“Well, I’m really glad you’re here.” His voice drops a bit as he takes one last step towards her, brown leather boots touching black. Both Harry and Willa are conscious of the fact that this is the closest they’ve ever been to each other. While Willa has always known Harry to be tall, she’s extremely aware of it now when he’s standing this close to her, leaning forward with his torso so that his neck falls to keep his eyes locked on hers. With this distance (or lack thereof) between them, Harry can smell Willa’s perfume without the overbearing scent of stale ale lingering in the air. He wants to bask in it for as long as he can.

“Me too,” Willa finally responds, reminding herself that she needs to pull herself together if she wants to get through this night without embarrassing herself any further.

Harry seems to sense it too, standing straight and gesturing his head towards the front entrance. “Ready to head in?”

Willa nods. “You wanted to spend your night off at another pub?” She watches the way Harry’s neck falls back as a loud laugh rips through his lungs, and she can’t keep her eyes off of the bob of his Adam’s apple and suddenly, her throat has gone completely dry.

“I’ve seen your local. Figured I’d show you mine,” Harry says, holding the heavy oak door open for her with that dimpled grin of his.

Once Willa’s stepped through the front entrance, she can’t help but take in the drastic difference between Harry’s local and her own. Willa takes in the sticky wooden flooring, chipped from overuse and stained from various liquors ruining the coating. The high-tops lining the walls are no different—antiquated and blemished, some wobbling in the corners, no doubt lacking a distinct charm. The bartop itself is busier than ever, long and sleek. Willa notices the overworked brown-haired barman pulling pints from the tap and heckling other patrons, and she finds almost everybody in this small pub knows each other in some strange way. The atmosphere is vibrant and light, loud and serene, and Willa finds it rightfully so that this is Harry’s local.

Because it’s practically him personified.

Before she can think too much of it, Harry’s long fingers are wrapped around her wrist and he’s dragging her straight to the far corner of the bartop where a small group of people are pulling long gulps from tall pint glasses. Just as they get close enough, Willa’s eyes widen when a few of them call out Harry’s name in heavy Northern accents, and she can’t help but watch the way he interacts with his mates.

They’re clapping his back while Harry appropriately says his hello’s, but before he can get lost in conversation with them, he turns his back towards the group and rests two strong hands on Willa’s shoulders, gripping the heavy material of her coat.

“Here, give me this,” he says softly, peeling off the fabric from her upper body with such intense care that Willa can feel her already dry throat practically barren at this point.

He watches her as he strips the wool from her thin arms, handing it back to her carefully as he rips his own off, before gathering both jackets easily in one hand. Once he tears his eyes off of hers, Harry grasps Willa’s wrist again, dragging her softly towards the far corner past where his friends reside, shouting over towards the brunette barman who’s neck nearly snaps in his direction once he hears Harry’s gruff call.

“Oi! Horan! Take care of these, would ya mate?” Willa watches as Harry rests the arm that isn’t holding their jackets on the bartop, heaving his upper body over the ledge so that the long material in his other hand does not lap up any spilled drink on the counter.

The barman grabs them, before entering a doorway behind him and disappearing into what Willa can only assume to be an office. Harry’s back in front of her now, smiling that toothy grin that makes Willa feel as if she’s completely lost the plot.

“Let’s get you a drink, yeah?” Willa just nods, afraid that if she tried to speak her voice would come out gravelly and hoarse. Harry’s hand slips into hers and he gives it a gentle tug until Willa is standing right beside him, her front resting against the bartop with Harry attached to her right side.

“Who’s this, Harry?” The barman asks once he’s reemerged from the back room in a muffled Irish accent. Willa watches as he gives Harry an amused look under his blue eyes, and she can feel Harry’s gaze shift from her left cheek back to the man in front of her.

“This is Willa.” Harry says her name as if it was something everybody should already know. And judging by the wide look in the barman’s eyes and the way Harry’s cheeks start to flush a rosy color, Willa can only guess that these people do, in fact, know exactly who she is.

And for some reason, that makes her feel all warm and gooey inside.

“Willa! Hiya, doll. ‘M Niall.” Willa smiles at Niall, watching the way the skin around his blue eyes crinkles when he gives her a gleaming grin. His arm is extended out towards hers, flannel shirt rolled up towards his elbows revealing untouched warm skin. When she shakes his hand, she makes sure not to break eye contact, and she watches as Niall gives Harry a look that seems to be laced with approval.

“I’ll take a pint of Fuller’s, mate,” Harry says to Niall before looking down at Willa with a shy look on his face. “Want your usual? Can’t be sure that it’ll taste as good as when I make it, but I’m sure Niall here could give it a go.” There’s no sign of an innuendo laced in Harry’s words, but for some reason, Willa can practically feel the sexul tension grow tenfold when he speaks to her. She shivers a bit, despite the fact that she is quite warm to begin with, before shaking her head and turning her attention towards Niall who is already, undoubtedly, staring at them with a knowing look in his eyes.

“I’ll just have a vodka tonic with lime, please.” Niall nods at her before grabbing a pint glass and heading over towards the taps, leaving Harry and Willa to themselves for a moment.

“What do you think so far?” Harry asks, his body mirroring Willa’s as it rests against the bartop, with nothing but his chin resting on his left shoulder, looking down at her under the curtain of his eyelashes.

Willa just smiles, cocking her chin upwards so that she’s looking right back at him, and Harry feels his lungs constricting for air. “Ask me after a few drinks.”

It’s coy and sultry and sexy, and the thesaurus in Harry’s brain is working overtime, but instead of getting lost in her gaze (something he’s quite positive he could do without really trying), Niall reappears with two drinks in his hand, sliding the clear glass over to Willa first before exchanging the pint for Harry’s credit card to start a tab.

“Cheers, Niall,” Willa says kindly, before taking the straw between her cherry lips and drinking a generous amount. The immediate rush of liquid alleviates the dryness of her throat, and she tries her hardest not to moan at the feeling.

Harry holds his pint up in Niall’s direction in thanks, before resting his right hip and elbow on the wooden countertop in order to face Willa. She mimics his movement, and Harry’s eyes watch every discerning shift of her body, the way her hips sway in her jeans, the way her tight blouse leaves little to the imagination. His eyes shift from her exposed neckline to her jaw, to her full lips, to the slope of her nose. Suddenly he feels parched, and he’s practically draining his beer once his eyes meet hers, watching the way her lips twitch upwards in a tempting smirk.

Before he can force his mouth to form words, a body approaches Harry's left side, and he feels the heavy arm of one of his mate’s wrap around his shoulders, nearly sloshing the beer over the rim of the pint glass. Sadly, he tears his eyes away from Willa.

“Who are you hiding from us, Harry?” He asks. He’s almost the same height as Harry, and when Willa looks at his grin, she can tell that he’s just trying to take the mick out of his friend. Before Harry can introduce her, Willa places her glass on the bartop and extends her hand to the dark-skinned man.

“Hi there. I’m Willa.” Once his larger hand is in Willa’s much smaller one, he glances over at Harry with a gigantic grin. Harry just nods back, his eyes showing nothing but adoration for the blonde-haired girl, and suddenly he’s realizing that his nerves about her meeting his mates were absolutely unnecessary.

Willa Tillerson can hold her own in any environment.

“Ah, Willa. Nice to meet ya, babe. I’m Marcus.” The inflection of her name only causes Willa to give Harry a look, one that’s laced with surprise and maybe a little bit of teasing. Because she’s found it quite endearing that he’s told his friends about her, and while the flush on his cheeks tells Willa that he’s a bit embarrassed by it, the quick wink she shoots in his direction tells him that he’s nothing to be worried about.

“Nice to meet you, too.” Willa takes a long gulp of her drink as Marcus starts talking to Harry about one of their other mutual friends. But before she could be left out for too long (not that she needed the constant attention to begin with), Harry suddenly asks Niall for another round and shifts the conversation to her, telling Marcus about her job and how successful she is at it.

She thinks that’s quite charming, to be fair.

“Wow, you’re working on a mansion in Knightbridge?! Blimey, that’s proper lush. Congrats! Pretty fuckin’ wicked, Willa,” Marcus says, reaching between Harry and Willa and smacking his hand on the bartop to get Niall’s attention. “Oi! Horan! Line up some shots, would ya? Harry’s date here’s earned ‘em!”

Both Harry and Willa try not to flush at the word date. Instead, their eyes meet through their periphery, and Harry’s not quite sure how long he can stay in this bar without pushing her up against the wooden walls and feeling her against every single ridge of his body.

Their eyes fall to the copper liquid in the shot glasses, noticing that Niall has poured a generous amount not only for the three of them, but for the rest of Harry’s mates as well. Willa doesn’t even look at them, though. She barely even acknowledges Niall when he shouts out a cheers! in their direction. No—instead her eyes are locked on Harry’s, taking note of the green and turquoise swirls, the golden sphere around his pupil, the way his eyelashes fan over the tops of his cheekbones, the way he licks his lips in preparation for the bitter liquid about to fall down his esophagus.

Harry’s watching her just as intently. Wonders how in this small space filled with people she’s the only person in his atmosphere. How everybody else has practically vanished at this point. How her hair shines under the shitty pub lighting, how her light blue eyes look like mirrors, how her red lips pucker a bit, her mouth hanging open just slightly so that Harry can see the tip of her tongue.

He can’t imagine looking at anybody else.

She doesn’t even want to think about anybody else.

Suddenly the shot glasses are in their hands, and without breaking eye contact, Willa leans a bit closer so that she doesn’t have to extend her arm too far in order to clink their glasses together. She’s so close that all she has to do is whisper a quiet, “Cheers, Harry,” in his direction, watching him mimic her words before bringing the rim to his lips and swallowing whole.

Harry’s eyes are locked on her lower lip, and he’s watching as her soft tongue darts out between the folds to lap up the whiskey dribble that never made it into her mouth. He shudders, his mind conjuring up any and every inappropriate thought, all filled with ice blue eyes and ruby full lips and her.

He’s not quite sure how he’s going to contain himself. But before he could harp on it much longer, Niall places another round in front of the pair, and Harry’s almost positive that the only thing that will make him calm down is liquor.

Or maybe, it’ll just make everything that much more difficult.

***

After an hour and a half, Harry’s almost positive that he’s going to burst.

He’s watching Willa from a short distance away mingling with the rest of the girls in his friend group. She’s taken to his friends quite easily, and while that’s impressive in its own right, Harry sort of wishes he could spend the entirety of his evening alone with just her.

Harry’s downed enough pints to make him that much more sociable, that much more calm, that much more pliant. But, the drinks have somehow made Willa that much more vivacious, that much more amorous, that much more teasing.

It first started when Marcus’s girlfriend complimented her boots, and somehow dragged her away from the comfort of Harry’s side. Before she could slip away, she made sure to rub her arm against Harry’s, flush her side against his, brush her fingers against his wrist, before slithering a couple feet away. He’s been trying his hardest to pay attention to the conversation going on in front of him, but every couple of passing minutes, he can feel Willa’s warm gaze on his. And whenever he looks over, she’s always staring up at him under her heavy eyelashes, keeping hold of his gaze before slipping the plastic straw between her lips.

Harry’s not sure how much longer he can hold on, to be fair.

With every passing drink that Niall generously places in front of Willa, she’s fully conscious of the fact that she’s turned into an absolute tease. And while she feels bad, she can’t really help herself, considering Harry is looking extremely delicious leaning against the bartop with the sleeves of his jumper pushed up, exposing his strong etched forearms and big hands.

She’s never one to lose her cool, but she can feel herself grappling with her self-control with each lingering gaze Harry leaves her with. Whether it’s on her eyes, or her lips, or her collarbones, or when he brazenly darts down to her chest—she instantly finds herself craving to be alone with him.

Willa’s not sure how much longer she can hold on, to be fair.

Once she realizes her third drink has been emptied, she kindly excuses herself from her conversation with Marcus’s girlfriend and slowly approaches the bartop near Harry and his friends. He notices her approaching just like he notices everything about her, and in a bold move, Willa sneaks by his frame, making sure to rub her front against his side, her hand falling just above his waist, as she excuses herself to get past him in order to reach Niall.

Harry doesn’t even excuse himself from his friends before he turns around and approaches Willa. She’s leaning against the bartop, her backside fully visible to Harry and he takes this moment to appreciate the length of her torso, the plushness of her backside, the reach of her legs. He places both palms on the wood outside of Willa’s forearms, easily wrapping himself around her body, resting his chest against her back. Willa smiles at the warmth, before adjusting her back a bit in order to feel the friction of Harry’s waist against her, noticing in her periphery the way Harry’s knuckles turn white against the edge of the counter.

“You’re killing me, Willa,” Harry whispers roughly into her ear, the tips of his curly locks tickling Willa’s cheeks. Instinctively, Willa tilts her head to the right, exposing more of her neck for Harry, practically moaning at the feeling of his lips so close to her pulse point.

“I could say the same for you,” Willa mutters back, pushing her backside almost completely flush against Harry’s front, and she jumps in surprise when she feels his right arm wrap around her waist.

“Are you suggesting something?” Although he’s whispering, his grainy voice cuts right through Willa’s insides, causing a shiver to run over her entire body. She can feel his words rush straight through her middle, falling lower and lower until they settle in her core, and she’s suddenly both hot and cold all over.

All of a sudden, Willa is spinning around until her back is against the bartop, with her elbows leaning on the edge, her front practically millimeters away from Harry’s. His eyes have grown darker and she’s fully aware of the rising and falling of his chest, and how his gaze has shifted towards her breasts, completely pushed out at this angle, and all she can think about is kissing his mouth.

But before they can, Niall places two more drinks on the countertop behind her. Harry’s hooded eyes snap up to his friend, and Willa takes note of the strained look he shoots in his direction. Niall clearly has bad timing, and while Willa would normally turn around and acknowledge the barman politely, she suddenly has the urge to dismiss all of her morals and forego most of the rules.

Harry fully expects her to turn around at the intrusion, but after Niall walks away and he realizes that Willa is still trapped in between his arms, his eyes dart down to hers and he sees her white teeth biting her plush lower lip, and he’s completely lost all self-control.

Willa runs a long pointer finger down the lines of his chest, and Harry’s eyes watch the path she traces starting from the middle of his pectorals, falling down the tenseness of his abdominal muscles, before settling just above the button of his trousers. Harry’s certain that Willa’s pupils are as dark as his, and when she lightly traces over the zipper of his jeans, a loud groan forms in Harry’s throat and he’s almost positive he’s about to break in half.

“I’m gonna head to the loo,” Willa says, grabbing her drink with the hand that was just tracing a tantalizing path to Harry’s nether region. Her grip on his forearm is a signal for Harry to move out of the way, but he’s suddenly found himself frozen in place. “If you’re up for it, I’ll make sure the door is locked.”

Willa sneaks away before she can take in Harry’s slacked jaw.

He turns around just in time to catch one last look at the undulation of her hips in her tight jeans, and suddenly he’s downing half of the fresh pint in front of him. He ignores the smirk Niall shoots in his direction, ignores his name falling from Marcus’s lips, ignores basically everything in his sight until he’s standing in the far less crowded hallway where the toilets are.

Harry waits until the girl in front of him enters and leaves the loo before he nearly breaks the wooden door down in order to reach Willa. He finds her by the sinks touching up her lipstick, and before he can even check if the coast is clear, she’s pushing him back against the door, flicking the lock with one hand before wrapping it around the back of Harry’s neck and bringing his lips to hers.

It’s as if time stands still, and it’s a bit surprising for both of them considering their minds have constantly been filled with visions of the other person doing exactly this. But as Willa feels Harry’s tongue slither against hers, and Harry feels Willa’s teeth bite at the flesh of his lower lip, and they both feel warm hands grasping at their sides—it’s as if everything makes sense.

Harry snakes his hands around Willa’s waist, leaving one above her hip while the other palms her ass in her trousers. Willa squeals inside Harry’s mouth, before interlocking her arms behind Harry’s neck, crawling her fingers up the back of his head, pushing and pulling at the soft tendrils along the way.

It’s everything and more and Harry feels as if he could finish in his pants, because kissing Willa is the one plaguing thought that’s driven him completely mad for the past two months. And now that it’s finally happening and she’s here in front of him pulling his hair and biting his lip and moaning his name into his own mouth, he feels as if he’s floating through air.

Willa slots her legs in between Harry’s before grinding her hips against his, and the sudden friction causes Harry to pull apart from Willa’s lips and rest his head back against the door, moaning loudly into the ceiling. The sound makes Willa squirm against his front, and she begins to mouth at Harry’s exposed neckline, running her tongue over his throbbing pulse point before sucking harshly on the skin.

Harry’s never been so hungry for a girl ever in his life, and with each lick and bite at his flushed neck, he can feel himself grow harder and harder against his pants. He’s desperate for friction, and once Willa begins lapping at the strip of skin just above the collar of his jumper, he shifts his hips forward so that she can feel him against her clothed core.

The force of the pleasure causes Willa to still against Harry’s neck, and when Harry pushes forward a second time, she can’t help the whimper that falls from her mouth. Once Harry hears it, he wraps his fingers in her blonde hair before bringing her face forward so that he can connect their lips once more.

Willa’s never felt so many things all at once—it’s as if an electrical current has shot straight into her chest, and the only thought she can think of is Harry. He’s moved his hand from her hip to her right breast, and the smooth kneading causes her to grind against Harry again, a breathless fuck falling from her lips into Harry’s mouth.

When they break apart for air, Willa can see her lipstick on Harry’s mouth and it’s enough to send her into a frenzy. Harry notes her blown out pupils, her messy hair, her smudged lips, and it’s as if he’s completely lost all restraint.

Willa’s eyes dart down to Harry’s stifling erection trapped inside his trousers and without even thinking, she begins to palm him through the denim. His forehead falls into the crook of Willa’s neck, and she can feel him heavily panting with each hot breath that scorches her already flaming skin. His muffled moans prompt Willa to pop the button of his jeans, her fingers falling towards the zipper slowly.

Before she can reach under the waistband of his pants, three loud knocks form against the other side of the door, and Willa’s hands immediately fall to her side. Harry’s head lifts from her neck, darting towards the door before falling back to Willa’s eyes.

She calls out a quick “one minute!” before breathing loudly through her front teeth, creating a soft whistle with her frustrated huff. Harry quickly buttons up his jeans before pressing his forehead against Willa’s, sighing breathlessly against her warm skin.

“As much as I like your mates,” Willa starts, “Any chance we can get out of here?”

Harry laughs a bit before nodding, pressing a quick kiss against her forehead. “My flat’s close by.” Willa finds herself nodding, her mind completely clouded over by lust and the fact that she very nearly had Harry’s cock in her hand in the inside of a public toilet in a tiny pub in the middle of Camden.

From the dazed look in Harry’s eyes, Willa can confirm that he feels the same, and all at once he flicks the lock beside them, grabbing Willa and holding her a bit close to his front as they hurriedly rush over to the bar to close his tab, praying her body covers his half-hard erection in his jeans that practically hide nothing.

With the safety of the bartop covering his lower half, Harry calls out to Niall before grabbing a handful of notes from his wallet, throwing them on the wooden top without even double checking the amount. Niall gives both of them a knowing look, taking in their flushed cheeks and unkempt hair, before cackling loudly at the pair.

“You two have fun!” Once they have their jackets, Harry grabs Willa’s hand and leads the way to the front door, not even sparing his friends a second look. He doesn’t even think to put on his trench coat, his body still blistering from wherever Willa’s hands were placed. She feels the same, rushing after Harry wordlessly as he drags them through the busy streets of Camden, racing towards his flat to keep this sexually charged energy-filled bubble from popping.

Before long, they reach an old brick building that looks as if it were once a factory of some sort, but was recently transformed into a modernized apartment building. Willa doesn’t get the chance to observe it much longer, because before she knows it, Harry’s punched in the code to the front door and shoves her into the open elevator door before pressing his lips back to hers.

It’s quick and hurried and somehow completely satisfying every craving itching up Willa’s skin. She’s not even sure what floor he’s clicked or how much time they have left in this confined space, but her fingers are pulling at his chocolate tresses and his hands are gripping her jaw and cupping her cheek and all she can think about is how much she’s been waiting for this moment to finally happen and now that it’s here, she’s kicking herself for waiting this long to feel it.

Harry breaks away once the elevator doors have opened, and with one last peck he’s gripping her waist and shuffling them towards the last door on the right of the short hallway, holding her against the slate grey door before picking up where they left off. Willa’s moaning into his lips and he can feel her clawing at the material of his jumper, and before they can get too carried away, he shoves his key into the lock and thrusts them both into his dark flat.

He flicks a switch on to the right and before Willa can get adjusted to the new light, Harry’s mouth is at her neck and his hands are inching their way up towards her chest, pushing her back against the door and she feels completely lightheaded.

“Harry, fuck. You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this,” Willa says, her head falling back against the heavy door as Harry kisses along every inch of her exposed neck.

“God, been thinkin’ about this for months, Willa. You’ve no clue what you do to me, do you?” He’s speaking against her skin, his lips ghosting over the upper swells of her breasts. The feeling is almost too much, and Willa feels her body arching from the door and pressing her chest closer towards Harry’s mouth, needing every inch of his searing mouth against her skin.

His palm cups over her core above her jeans and she sighs out blissfully. He hasn’t even touched her yet, and Willa feels herself freefalling towards the edge. She’s not sure if it’s because she hasn’t been touched like this in a long time, or if she’s been waiting for this moment with Harry for months now, but she’s completely enraptured by him and all she wants is him inside of her.

“Show me, then.” Willa’s words cause Harry’s lips to pause against her chest. His head shoots up and his eyes meet hers, and Willa watches the smirk work its way against his lips.

“Is that what you want?” His voice is husky and he’s leaning in so closely that the words form over Willa’s swollen lips, and they’re enough to cause the wetness to spread inside her knickers.

Willa grips the back of Harry’s neck tightly, her fingertips ruffling the hair at the base. “I want you. I’ve always wanted you.”

Harry groans before bringing his lips roughly to Willa’s, dragging her away from the front door and leading her into his bedroom. On the way, Willa steps out of her boots, flings her jacket and purse somewhere, not even caring if Harry has a roommate or someone who would be bothered by the noises escaping their mouths.

Harry does the same, and she can sense that even if he did have a roommate, he could give less of a fuck if he or any other neighbor of his could hear what the two of them are doing. They finally reach the entryway of his bedroom, and when they part for air, Willa presses her body tightly against Harry’s and she can feel every inch of pleasure coursing through his veins.

She brings her palms to Harry’s front and begins rubbing him over his jeans, running her fingers along the strained length of his cock hidden under the fabric against his thigh, and the throaty moan that escapes his mouth is the only affirmation she needs to unbutton his pants and pull them down his legs.

Willa falls with them, kneeling on the hardwood floor and bringing her lips to the tip of his cock. She licks a stripe from the base of his shaft all the way up to the tip, making sure to outline the hardened vein on the outside, pulsing against his skin.

Harry shudders, weaving his hands around the back of Willa’s neck and gathering her hair into a messy ponytail to ensure it doesn’t get in the way. He watches as she wraps her mouth around the tip, flattening her tongue against the rest of him as she works her way down, inching herself closer and closer down until he’s practically completely enveloped in her throat.

“Holy fuck. Are you real?” Harry calls out between grunts, and the second she looks up at him through the thick of her eyelashes, he can immediately feel himself careening towards the edge, remembering how he thought of her in this position multiple times.

He pulls at her hair, signalling he needs her to stop deepthroating him. Willa lets him go, the suctioning pop reverberating through the quiet bedroom once he’s no longer in her mouth. She pouts up at him, and the vision along with her sticky lips is enough to cause Harry to roll his eyes behind his head.

“Christ, babe. I don’t know how much longer I’ll last if you keep doing that,” Harry groans, reaching down to pull her up so that she’s back standing in front of him. He pushes a strand of hair that has fallen in front of her face behind her ear, and Willa settles into the open palm of his hand, pressing a gentle kiss to the inside of his wrist. “I’ve been picturing you doing that to me for months. So the fact that it’s actually happening I just—shit. Need a minute.”

Willa smirks before inching her fingers under his jumper, walking them up the ridges of his stomach before settling on his chest. “Yeah? What else have you pictured me doing?”

Harry’s eyes widen at her forwardness and he can practically feel his cock twitch against his stomach. “You really want me to tell you?”

Willa smiles, resting her other hand against Harry’s jaw and bringing it close to her mouth. “I’d rather you show me.”

Harry growls before stepping out of his jeans and pants and walking her backwards to his bed. He pulls his jumper over his head, exposing the warm planes of his skin littered with various tattoos. Willa’s hands immediately trace the outlines, her lips hovering over the matching sparrows under his collarbones causing Harry to moan loudly.

“You’re far too overdressed,” Harry mumbles against her lips, reaching forward and pulling her shirt over her head, her breasts hidden under a nude lace underwire bra. Harry’s eyes fall towards her chest, before following the lines of her stomach until his hands begin hovering over the buttons of her jeans.

“Please tell me whatever’s under here will match,” Harry says, his mind completely stupefied at the sight of her half-naked in front of him.

“Why don’t you pull those down and find out?” Willa’s words cause Harry to whimper, and before she can even blink, Harry has pried her legs from her jeans, his mouth watering at the sight of her see-through matching knickers.

“You’re fucking incredible,” Harry says, taking a step back and watching the way she looks splayed out over his duvet. He’s completely hooked on her, one hundred and fifty percent fucked by the way her hair falls over his pillows, the way her chest puffs out against her bra, the way her long legs fall from the ends of her knickers.

He’s in awe.

Willa looks up at him in that way that makes his mind fall to mush, and with a quiet “c’mere,” he’s completely hers.

She brings her mouth back to his and his hands instantly fall to her back to unclip her bra. Her hands fall to his backside, pressing him against her clothed core, begging for friction. She moans when Harry’s lips fall to her chest, before wrapping his mouth around one of her nipples, lapping his tongue against the pilled bud, causing Willa to lift her back completely off the mattress.

His hands graze over her core, cupping her heat as his mouth moves to her other breast. She feels him push the lace fabric of her underwear to the side, before slipping his middle finger into her wet folds. She’s a writhing mess underneath him, and as much as she loves the touching and kissing and kneading, she needs more.

“Harry,” Willa gasps, her own palm sliding up and down his shaft, causing him to groan against her chest. “I need you to fuck me.”

He stills, looking up at her through clouded eyes. “Yeah?”

Her hand squeezes a little harder around him, and she pushes her body upwards to graze against his, watching the way his eyes shut tight in pleasure. “Please.”

He nods, reaching over into his bedside table for a condom, leaning over her again and ridding her of the last layer of clothing between them until they’re both flushed skin against flushed skin. His eyes scan her body, and when he looks at her, she can practically feel the devotion falling from his gaze.

“Are you sure? Can’t guarantee I’ll last long,” He admits, and as much as Willa appreciates his affable claim, she really just needs him inside of her. Without speaking, she grabs the condom from his hand and rips the foil open with her teeth, before sliding it down the length of his cock.

“I’ve never been more sure. Show me what you fantasize, Harry. I’m here.” That’s all Harry needs before he’s lined up at her entrance, slowly sliding into her warmth.

He makes sure to take his time, allowing Willa to get adjusted to the feeling of his length inside of her. It takes her a moment, but once Harry’s almost three-fourths of the way inside, the pinching feeling suddenly fades into something almost euphoric, and instantly her hand reaches out to grip Harry’s wrist by her head.

“More, Harry. I need more.” He groans into her neck, sliding out of her almost completely, before pushing all the way inside, bottoming out with one loud cacophonous groan.

He gathers his rhythm quickly after that, and when Willa wraps one hand around his glistening bicep and the other pulls at the curls at the base of his neck, he reaches down to lift her ankle over his shoulder, the other hand kneading her breast and his mouth latches against her own.

The new angle allows Harry to reach that plushy spot along Willa’s walls, forcing her back to arch off the mattress and her fingernails to dig into the skin around Harry’s bicep. “Oh my god, Harry. Yes. Right there.”

“Fuck Willa, you feel so good. Love when you say my name,” Harry says against her mouth, his teeth clacking against hers, tongue sliding in to taste every inch of her.

“Harry!” Willa calls out through a moan when he lifts her leg higher into the air, causing him to reach deeper inside of her than ever before. He’s nothing but a narcissist, and the sound of his name crying out of Willa’s lips is enough to cause his movements to falter a bit, his release coming far quicker than he imagined.

“Shit, babe. I’m close,” Harry says against her neck, his eyes fall towards her navel where he can see the tip of his cock push inside of her. The vision is enough to cause him to spiral down down down, but he needs to make sure Willa is close too before he completely falls into the abyss.

“Me too, Harry—fuck! Me too,” Willa squeaks. The fingers resting against Willa’s chin inch their way towards her mouth, and instinctively, Willa wraps her mouth around them, sucking deliberately while watching the way Harry’s mouth parts in wonderment.

He reaches down to circle against her clit with his wet fingers, and after a few more timed pumps inside of her, Willa’s crying out against his skin, her fingernails digging harshly into his bicep. Harry likes the pain, and that coupled with the sounds falling from Willa’s mouth is enough to push him towards his release.

He languidly pumps slowly in and out of her until her body has grown limp underneath him. Slowly, he pulls out of her, and Willa immediately frowns at the warmth dissipating from her insides. Harry rolls onto his back beside her, discarding the condom in the bin near his bedside table and trying his hardest to catch his breath.

“That was—”

“—Yeah.”

Willa’s giggling softly beside him, and the sound is enough to cause Harry to smile widely, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and bringing her to rest comfortably against his chest. Their skin is sticky from exertion, and Willa’s hair is knotted from Harry’s hands pulling through the tendrils, and Harry’s arms feel bruised from Willa’s fingers, but they wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Can’t believe it took us that long,” Willa says against his chest, causing Harry to laugh loudly from above her.

“Yeah, we fucked up a bit on that one, I reckon,” Harry says back, combing his fingers through her long blonde hair. Willa hums at the comforting feeling, and she reciprocates the same, running her fingers lightly over the moth tattoo under his chest calmingly.

Maybe it was the alcohol she consumed this evening, or maybe it was the fatigue to her body from what her and Harry just did, or just maybe it was the fact that she had never felt more comfortable wrapped up in another person’s embrace, but almost instantly, Willa finds herself falling asleep, her soft breathing pattern lulling Harry into the same comfortable darkness.

***

It’s the absence of warmth that causes Harry to wake in the middle of the night. He looks over to where he remembers feeling Willa sleeping against him, and finds that his bed is empty. The only reminder of her ever being in his bed is the crinkled sheets and the overwhelming smell of her shampoo on his pillowcase.

His eyes dart over towards the clock on his bedside table informing him that it’s nearly five in the morning. He looks around a bit to see if she’s crept into the en-suite attached to his bedroom, but he finds the light off and no sign of movement inside.

Harry’s a bit bummed, to be fair. Although Willa never explicitly told him that she’d stay, he never would have pegged her to pull a runner in the middle of the night. Especially after the mindblowing sex they shared.

Or was it just mediocre for her? Harry thinks, silently cursing himself for underperforming in any form. He can’t really blame himself. He’s been imagining Willa doing the unspeakable acts she performed on him a few hours ago for months now, so he can’t really blame himself for finishing quickly.

Before he can mull over any other scenarios, the sound of bare feet padding against hardwood flooring causes Harry’s eyes to scan over the hallway. Willa approaches silently, tip-toeing into his bedroom wearing nothing but Harry’s discarded white undershirt, falling against the middle of her thighs. Her hands are deep inside a box of Golden Grahams, and the sight is enough to cause Harry’s heart to thump loudly in his chest, relief rushing through his veins.

He starts laughing, and immediately Willa locks her eyes on him, her chewing abruptly stopping. She swallows harshly before speaking. “I didn’t mean to wake you! I was just, er, hungry.” Willa holds up the cereal box slightly, and Harry just beckons her over with his outstretched hand.

“You gonna share?” Harry asks teasingly, and his just-woken-up thick voice is enough to cause her lower stomach to warm significantly in pleasure.

Willa giggles quietly while treading over to the bed, squeaking when Harry’s arms wrap around her waist and she crashes into his lap, her legs slithering around his waist comfortably with the cereal box in between them.

He reaches his hand in and scoops out a large mouthful, before tipping the open box in her direction and allowing her to do the same. She’s smiling through her chews, watching the way Harry’s jaw works through crushing the cereal bits before his Adam’s apple bobs with each swallow.

Suddenly, Willa isn’t hungry for cereal anymore. She places the box on the ground near the bed, before wrapping her legs tighter around Harry’s waist, settling herself lightly on Harry’s lap. His hands wrap around her backside, his fingers squeezing the soft skin underneath her thighs, causing her to ground down a bit more against his hips.

“I don’t think I’m hungry anymore,” Willa says quietly, her hands falling comfortably around Harry’s shoulders. She watches his lips form that crooked grin that makes her smile right back at him, and slowly his mouth starts to lean towards hers.

“Good, because I’m thinking there’s other things we can be doing,” Harry says against her lips, before pushing her closer to his half-hard bulge and licking his way into her mouth, groaning at the sugary flavor residing on her tongue.

“Yeah? What’s that?” Willa’s teasing and Harry’s come to the conclusion that he quite enjoys her this way. Without answering, Harry reaches for the hem of his shirt and pushes it over her head, discarding it aimlessly on his floor.

“Whatever you want to do, Willa,” Harry says earnestly, noting the way her eyes twinkle in the moonlight falling through his window. She’s beautiful, and he suddenly realizes that his statement was true.

He’d do anything she wanted, as long as she keeps looking at him the way she is at this very moment.

Willa somehow knows how he feels without him needing to express words. She can see it in his eyes, the same ones that have looked at her for months through the crowded bar. And now that they’re in front of her, staring at her with nothing but adoration and fondness, she’s almost positive there’s no other place she’d rather be.

“I just want you,” she whispers, closing the space between them with a kiss, meaning every word.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #hs #harry styles fic #harry x ofc #harry x reader #harry styles smut #1dff #1dffupdates #fic: stir me up #stellarboystyles3years

[puppywritings]

fidelium - johnny suh x gender-neutral reader masterlist

⇢   synopsis: you can’t wait to spend the weekend at johnny’s house. your boyfriend was a bad boy, and a motorcycle rider to boot. things were new, thrilling. perhaps more thrilling than you bargained for. you come to learn that it’s a lot more difficult to leave than to stay.

⇢   word count: 6.8k ⇢   trigger warnings: death, guns, toxic relationship involving manipulation, objectification, arguments. sexual elements and implied sex but no explicit scenes. ⇢   warning:  the relationship displayed in this fic is in absolutely no way healthy or ideal. it’s one red flag after another. if somebody disrespects your boundaries, threatens you, objectifies you, manipulates you, or anything of the sort, they’re not a good person to be around and they don’t deserve to stay in your life. the contents of this fic may be upsetting to read.

⇢   a/n: this is my piece for @du0tine​‘s 21 ways to kill your lover collab. intended for 18+ audiences. i also want to say, it’s not my intention to romanticize or glorify toxic, harmful, or abusive relationships - this is purely fiction. this writing also doesn’t reflect the real johnny suh, who i’m sure is a lovely person and would never engage in this sort of behaviour.

taglist: @prettyjaems @ethaeriyeol​ @1-800-seo​ @neonun-au​ (sorry if i forgot anyone i’m super disorganised w my taglists atm)

Johnny Suh didn’t fit your usual dating criteria. With his black leather jacket, heavy lace-up boots, and hulking motorcycle, he was a bit of a bad boy. And there was something exciting in that. You’d met him late one night, in the bar where you worked. You’d served him all night - rum and coke, his drink of choice. He certainly caught your eye, at first. He was handsome, with his brown eyes twinkling and his long blond hair pulled back into a ponytail. But it wasn’t until the two of you started talking that you became interested. It was a quiet night, and Johnny insisted on sitting at the bar in front of you. He was teasing, charming. And when he gave you his number at closing time, you actually tapped the digits into your phone, rather than just discarding it like you usually do. Unlike the rest of your patrons who thrust their contact details upon you, when it came to Johnny the interest was mutual.

So, while it was true that Johnny wasn’t quite the typical man you went after, the relationship had been going well. He’d been nothing short of a gentleman in the duration of your relationship, though he still thrilled you with his affinity for the more reckless things in life; late-night motorcycle rides, drinking just a little too much and partying all night. He took the mundaneness out of your life - he made your life an adventure.

Towards the end of your shift that Friday evening, you found yourself getting jittery; you checked the time every five minutes, and a swarm of butterflies was building in your stomach. Johnny was picking you up after work on his bike, and it was all you could think about. You almost ran out of the establishment, when the clock struck ten, marking the end of your shift. Your heart swelled at the sight of Johnny in the bar’s parking lot, leaning against his motorcycle with his hands in his pockets.

“Hey, angel,” he greeted you, affection glowing in his eyes and his smile.

“Hi,” you beamed, wrapping your arms around his waist and taking in his warmth. He picked you up immediately, holding you tight and spinning you. “Johnny!” you giggled, fingers grasping the cotton of his white t-shirt. 

“You ready to meet my boys?” he asked you, punctuating his question with a kiss on your nose. He was referring to the friends he considered family; he lived with them, in a rather large house on the outskirts of town, from what you’d heard. They were special to him, and you knew it was important to him that you got along with them. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t completely terrified. You knew it’d be okay, though. If they had Johnny’s approval you were sure they’d be good people. Plus, you could never be too scared with Johnny’s hand in your own.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” you responded with a smile.

“Hop on,” he instructed you, tossing you a helmet and putting on his own. At the beginning of your relationship, he’d given you his own helmet, forgoing his protection for the sake of yours. You hadn’t liked this - this display of his reckless attitude that surpassed thrilling and sat nicely in the territory of dangerous - and so you’d pestered him until he bought a second helmet.

You secured your rucksack on your back, prepacked with all the clothes and toiletries you required for the weekend you’d be spending with your boyfriend, before climbing onto the large black bike behind him. Johnny had been driving you around on his bike for a number of weeks now, but you still weren’t quite used to it. The mix of fear and exhilaration, both from the wind whipping past your ears and from the sensation of your chest pressed flush against Johnny’s back, your arms tight around his waist. It made your heart race. The feeling you got from riding a motorcycle embodied everything that Johnny was: dark, exciting, intoxicating, addictive.

Johnny hadn’t been lying when he said he lived on the outskirts. The bright lights of the town centre were far behind you, and even the streetlights had begun to die out. You were alone with the moon and starlight now. The neatly paved roads gave way to rough muddy lanes. The built-up urban surroundings gave way to empty fields, then to a dense and seemingly endless forest. The bike’s headlamp shone a path through the trees, guiding Johnny to his home. Though your partner clearly felt familiar here, the environment sent chills down your spine - you could’ve sworn you felt eyes on you, peering out from the darkness. When your journey ended, at a solitary house looming tall against the dark backdrop of the forest, you were thankful.

“Here we are,” Johnny welcomed you, helping you off the bike. The house was bigger than you could’ve expected. The term mansion wouldn’t be amiss.

“So,” you commented, looking up at the structure, illustrated by the silver moonlight. “This is where you and your biker gang live?” You looked along the line of bikes, queued up around the house. They were of different styles and sizes, though (with your limited knowledge on motorcycles) they all looked rather impressive.

“I keep telling you, we’re not a biker gang,” Johnny corrected you, with a lighthearted roll of his eyes. “We’re just a group of friends who live together, and just so happen to ride together too.”

“And if that’s not a biker gang, what is?” you teased.

“Zip it,” Johnny said gently, and you complied. “Here, I’ll take your bag.”

“Ever the gentleman,” you commented, passing it to him. You braced yourself, as he led you into his home.

It was warm inside, much warmer than out in the chilly woodland. From what you could tell by looking at the entranceway, the place was tidy and well-lit. Your boyfriend led you down the hall, into an open-plan kitchen and living area, where Johnny's friends were sitting around the television. 

"We're home, guys," Johnny announced, drawing their attention towards you.

"Hey, look what Johnny brought home!" one of them called out, bringing a blush to your cheeks.

"Watch it," Johnny warned, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close to him. "Y/N is all mine. You can look, but you can't touch. In fact, you can only look for five seconds at a time."

“These are the boys” Johnny introduced you to them. “This is Jaehyun, Ten, Mark. And that’s Donghyuck. My protege, right kid?” 

“That’s right, John” the boy grinned up at Johnny from where he was sitting.

You gave a shy wave as you looked around at Johnny's friends. Though he had named them all, introducing them, it was a redundant act. You'd asked to see pictures of everybody prior to that night, not wanting to get lost amid a sea of unfamiliar faces. You saw Jaehyun, with his dimples and broad shoulders; Mark, with pronounced cheekbones and a delicate nose; Ten, with a feline-like beauty; and Donghyuck, full cheeks and long eyelashes. 

"I think we're just gonna turn in for the night, right Y/N?" Johnny spoke, looking down at you. "See you boys tomorrow."

You waved at Johnny's friends, with a polite, "Bye." The boys chorused their goodbyes back at you, and Johnny led you away.

You couldn't help but admire the house as Johnny guided you to his bedroom, your hand in his. The place was huge, grand. You weren't sure under what circumstances Johnny and his friends acquired this house, but it can't have been cheap. 

"And this," he led you inside, "Is my room."

The room was a fair size, with several tall windows and a four-poster double bed. The matching furniture looked sturdy and high-quality, a dark antique wood.

"This is impressive," you told him honestly. Johnny beamed in pride; he was always looking for praise, and you were happy to feed his ego.

Johnny lounged on his bed, laying back propped up on his elbows. "Come feel how comfy my bed is," he invited you with a smirk.

"Johnny Suh, you are not smooth. I know that's just an excuse to get me into bed," you said, falling beside him.

"If you knew it was just an excuse," Johnny asked, pausing to plant a kiss on your jawline, "Then why'd you join me?"

"Because," you tell him, "Maybe I want to be in bed with you."

Johnny gave a low chuckle, before kissing you again; a line beginning at your jaw, trailing down to your neck, and ending at your collarbone, making you gasp and lean into his touch.

"Johnny," you purred, your voice full of want.

"Let Johnny take care of you, baby," Johnny hummed. You obliged, submitting to his touch and surrendering to the pleasure.

Coming down from your high, you collapsed against Johnny’s bed, smiling as you looked up at your boyfriend who lay beside you.

“You’re perfect,” Johnny told you, his dark brown eyes gazing deeply into your own. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks, and you looked away, only for Johnny to tilt your chin back up towards him. “It’s true,” he reiterated.

“I’m not perfect,” you denied, wrinkling your nose.

Johnny pecked your lips. “You are. My angel.”

You looked at him, lying beside you in his bed. His sex hair was immaculate, perfectly tousled from rolling around and from your fingers tugging on it. His lips were plump and pink from your kisses, and his collarbones were decorated in pink splotches. He looked beautiful, he was glowing, and you couldn’t help but grin at him.

“Hey,” Johnny says suddenly, sitting up and untangling himself from the blankets. “Let me give you a massage.”

“It’s okay, babe, you don’t have to,” you waved away his offer. He seemed deadset, however, cracking his knuckles in preparation.

“I insist. Roll over.” You obeyed, lying on your front and allowing your boyfriend to straddle your waist. His hands pressed into your skin, rubbing deeply into your muscles. The sensation was pleasant, you had to admit. Mostly, you just enjoyed the proximity between you and Johnny, and the feeling of being taken care of by someone you loved. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to slip away and ease into the feeling.

You weren’t allowed to slip away for long, however, as your phone began to buzz, startling you. The vibrations against the hardwood of Johnny’s bedside table conjured a harsh screeching noise. You lifted your head, peering at the screen.

You lifted your torso, as much as you could with Johnny’s weight on you. “Oh, it’s my mom. I should-”

“You can call her back later, angel,” Johnny said, pushing you back down onto the bed. The action was gentle, but Johnny didn’t need to use much force to manipulate your body; your boyfriend worked out, and bordered on freakishly strong - at least, in comparison to you. His buff arms held your shoulders down, preventing any movement. "This is my time to pamper you," he explained, resuming the massage.

"Okay," you tentatively agreed. "I'll call her back later." You got the sense that this massage was much more for Johnny's benefit than for yours, but if it kept him happy, then so be it.

“Good morning, angel,” Johnny greeted you. Your eyelids fluttered open, adjusting to the light in his bedroom. With a groan, you stretched your muscles, stiff from sleeping. “I brought you a cup of coffee.”

You looked to your boyfriend, smiling at you as he entered the room, a mug in each hand. You couldn’t be sure how long he’d been awake, or what time it was, but he was dressed already, beige cable-knit sweater and loose jeans, with his hair pulled back in a low ponytail. It was a contrast to his usual greaser bad-boy image, and the sight warmed your heart. He looked cozy, soft. You smiled back at him, sitting up and letting the covers pool around your waist. 

“Morning, Johnny,” you beamed at him, accepting the cup of coffee he handed to you. You took a sip and moaned in delight. Your boyfriend made a mean cup of coffee, perfectly sweet without being overbearing. He sat beside you on the bed, caressing your cheek lightly.

“I was thinking we could go out for a walk,” he suggested, before taking a swig of his own coffee. “It’s a nice morning.”

You nodded. “Okay.”

A while later, fully dressed and hand-in-hand with Johnny, you found yourself venturing through the forest that surrounded the house. There were a few man-made footpaths winding between the trees, but for the most part, you were truly in the middle of nature, an environment completely untouched by humans. Birds flapped their wings, rustling in the trees, and creatures whose species were unknown to you scrambled to run away in your wake, paws pounding on the forest floor. Johnny had been right; it was a nice morning. The sun filtered through branches and leaves, casting light and warmth down upon you, and the air was clean and fresh.

“It’s so nice out here,” you commented, looking around at the greens and browns that encompassed you.

“Yeah,” Johnny agreed. “I’m lucky to live here.”

“You really are. I’d walk through here every morning if I were you.”

“You’re lucky, too,” Johnny acknowledged, squeezing your hand. “You’re dating me. You can walk here whenever you want as well.” You smiled, your heart swelling at his words.

“It really is isolated, huh? Your house?” you remarked, peering around at your surroundings. The nearest road was so far away that you couldn’t even hear the rush of cars from where you stood.

“Yeah,” Johnny confirmed. “It’s not easy to get out of the house.” Why anyone would wish to escape this peaceful surroundings, you had no idea. It felt so far removed from the hustle and bustle of everyday life; your usual troubles felt so distant.

The sun had risen higher in the sky by the time you returned to Johnny’s house, and you realised you hadn’t even brought your phone with you. You hadn’t even thought to check the time once since you woke up. This was so out of the ordinary for you, particularly on a Saturday morning, when you’d usually be lounging in your apartment scrolling through social media.

The house had woken up by the time you stepped through the front door. It had been silent when you left, though now it seemed that the entire household was up and about.

“Where have you been, John?” Ten called out, as the two of you entered the kitchen.

“Just out for a walk,” he explained, taking a seat at the kitchen island, where you joined him.

“By the way, Y/N, it’s nice to meet you,” Ten greeted you, smiling sweetly.

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” you returned, smiling back politely.

Johnny leaned in close, stage-whispering. “It’s really not all that nice to meet him. He’s a pretty lousy guy. Into some real weird stuff. Has probably killed a guy.” Ten gave Johnny a pointed glare as he departed the kitchen, and you giggled at your boyfriend’s antics.

“So,” Donghyuck asked, his voice somewhat muffled as he peered into the open fridge. “What do you guys have planned today?”

“Hmm. Not much,” Johnny answered. “Have some lunch, take it easy.”

“I want to shower first,” you announced, stretching your arms above your head. The physical exertion of your outdoor walk, along with your heated activities the night before, had left you feeling a little less than squeaky clean.

“We should do that together,” Johnny suggested, pressing a lingering kiss to your cheek, which flamed at his proposition. 

“Okay,” you giggled in spite of yourself. Johnny was the only man, since you’d been twelve years of age, who was capable of reducing you to such a blushing, giggling mess.

“Let’s go,” Johnny invited you, smirking as he stood up and held out his hand. You took it, and laughed when Donghyuck fake gagged and Johnny stared at him with daggers in his eyes. You allowed Johnny to lead you, your hand in his, all the way upstairs. After retrieving your toiletries and change of clothes, you joined him in the bathroom, closing the door behind you.

“The lock is funny,” he told you, leaning over you to fiddle with it. “You really have to twist it-” he grunted, “There we go.”

You smiled, bunching up his shirt in your hands and pulling him closer towards you. He looked smug as he leaned in to kiss you, his lips sweet and commanding. Your hands went under his shirt, ghosting over his chiseled abdomen, which tensed delightfully under your touch.

Johnny pulled away, his eyes scanning up and down your body, setting you alight with his gaze. “Why don’t you doll yourself up for lunch, huh? I want to show everyone how beautiful you are.”

“Okay,” you nodded, agreeing to his suggestion. He captured your lips again, and you smiled against his lips. “We need to shower, baby. And no funny business.”

“No promises,” Johnny grinned, his eyes twinkling. When he took his shirt off, however, your request of no funny business went completely out the window.

Sunday morning came all too fast, as your weekend with Johnny came to a close. It had been peaceful, relaxing, a greatly needed recharge, and you weren’t quite ready to return to your regular life. Walks through the city rather than through the woodland, and shifts in the bar all week long.

"I wish you didn't have to leave today," Johnny said, pouting as his fingertip traced shapes along your forearm as you lounged on his bed together.

"I know, babe, me too," you agreed. His eyelashes looked long, fanned across his cheeks as he gazed downwards.

"You should stay," Johnny suggested, a hopeful lilt to his voice. "Just another day or two?"

You shook your head at him. "I'm working all week babe, it's easier if I just go home. I can stay again next weekend." 

Johnny sighs, an irritated huff, retracting his hand from your arm. "You don't wanna stay with me?" he asked, looking up at you with hurt in his eyes.

"It's not that I don't want to, John, it'll just be complicated. You'll have to give me a lift to work, and it's so far that I'll have to wake up a lot earlier."

"You don't even sound like you're going to miss me," he pointed out. His voice had a tinge of anger and it frustrated you in turn. He was acting so petty - you hadn't seen this immature side of him before.

"Of course I'll miss you, Johnny," you assured him with a roll of your eyes. "But we can see each other next weekend, okay?"

"Whatever," Johnny scoffed.

"Whatever?" you asked incredulously. "Johnny, you're acting like a child."

"Sorry. Sorry I'm going to miss my partner because they insist on leaving me." 

You shifted away from Johnny, swinging your legs off the bed and facing away from him. "This is stupid," you muttered.

"I'm stupid?" Johnny exclaimed.

You rubbed your eyes in frustration. "I didn't say that."

"You didn't need to." Johnny jumped up from the bed, swiftly storming past you and exiting the room, complete with exaggerated stomps and a hefty slam of the door.

“God!” you cussed, in irritation and disbelief. You couldn’t believe he was acting like this. This side of Johnny, bitter and bad-tempered - you couldn’t say you enjoyed it. If anything, his outburst had only made you want to leave more. You cursed the complete and utter isolation of the place. You could hardly leave and catch a bus - you’d get lost if you even tried venturing out into the woods. Johnny was your ride home, and you didn’t want to face him. You weren’t even sure if he’d oblige, if you asked him to take you home.

You stood, scanning through your options, and your feet led you out of Johnny’s room. Down the hall, to the room you were sure belonged to Donghyuck. You knocked on the door, two uncertain taps. 

“Yeah?” Donghyuck’s voice called out from within - bingo. You pushed the door open apprehensively. The room was smaller than Johnny’s, though still a decent size. He had a large television mounted on the wall, hooked up to a gaming system that looked rather impressive, to your amateur perspective. 

“Oh, Y/N,” he remarked, sounding surprised and pausing his video game. “What’s up?”

“I’m sorry to bother you,” you prefaced, stepping into his room and closing the door behind you. “Johnny and I… had a bit of an argument. I was wondering if you could give me a ride home?”

“You fought?” Donghyuck asked. “What about?”

You sighed “It’s nothing. Something silly.” You didn’t particularly want to divulge the details to Donghyuck - you didn’t want to end up badmouthing Johnny to his friends. 

“Hey, sit down,” he invites you, patting the space beside him, on the end of his bed. “Come play video games with me. Take a minute to calm down.” You hesitantly joined him, taking a seat on the end of his bed. “Think this through, Y/N, it’s probably not a good idea to storm out.”

You picked up the controller Donghyuck gave you, holding it loosely. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Johnny wouldn’t be happy if I left without saying anything.”

“That guy has a temper,” Donghyuck commented under his voice. You felt inclined to agree, after the way he’d acted that morning.

“How do I play?” you asked, examining the controller in your hands. Donghyuck leaned over, running you through the controls and rules of the game. The other boy pressed play, and you were flung into the game headfirst, forced to learn and adapt to the fast-paced course of the game. You didn’t know how much time passed, but by your fourth round of the game, you were laughing and shouting along with Donghyuck, all thoughts of smothering boyfriends erased from your mind.

“Feeling better, huh?” Donghyuck asked, beaming at you. 

“Yeah,” you confirmed, nodding. “Thanks.”

“One more round?”

“I should probably go talk to Johnny,” you denied apologetically. “But thank you.”

“Any time,” he smiled, holding out his fist for a bump, which you obliged. 

“Bye,” you bid him, before departing his bedroom and moving down the hall. You stood for a moment, outside Johnny’s bedroom door, taking a deep breath and bracing yourself.

When you pushed open the door, you found Johnny already standing in his room. You approached him slowly and with apprehension, speaking in a calm and gentle tone. “Hey, Johnny? I’m sorry for blowing up earlier.”

“It’s okay,” he assured you. His composure surprised you, after the volume of his outburst earlier. He didn’t look at you, nor did he turn around to face you. He stood before his dresser, apparently very focused on something inside it. “Why were you in Donghyuck’s room?”

Your eyes widened a little. He didn’t sound mad, nor did he have the right to be. But something about the situation, or perhaps about his demeanor, made you feel a little jittery. You didn’t know he’d been watching you. “Oh. Um. He was just convincing me to stay.” You cleared your throat, feeling the need to change the subject. “What are you doing?”

“Come look,” he beckoned you. You joined him, peering down into the dresser which he seemed so enthralled by.

You gulped. The open drawer was like something you’d find in a museum; it was lined with crimson velvet, and several vintage-looking pistols were laid out in it. They ranged in size and style, the smallest being the size of your palm and the largest stretching to the length of your forearm. “I… I didn’t know you had guns.” The sight of them made your heart race. If you were being honest, you’d led a rather sheltered life, and had never been in the presence of so many weapons. It made you feel uneasy.

“I don’t use them. They’re only collectibles.” Johnny picked up the smallest gun, and you flinched. He glanced at you, and the look in his eyes was undetectable to you - it wasn’t offence, nor regret, but his eyes definitely glinted with something. The way he handled the gun, you weren’t sure if you bought the ‘collectibles’ line. He handled it with such ease and grace, that it almost seemed like he was born with a gun in his hand. Though it was small, compact, barely the size of your hand - and it appeared even smaller in Johnny’s palm, which dwarfed it - you found yourself stunned and shivery, thinking about the damage it was capable of. Did Johnny collect bullets, too? you found yourself wondering.

You averted your gaze, discomfort taking over, and noticed that your phone lay atop the dresser. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. You weren’t sure where, exactly, you had left your phone, but you were certain you hadn’t laid it there. “Hey - my phone-”

“Oh, right,” Johnny said, placing his gun back in the drawer and closing it sharply, twisting a key which sat in the keyhole, locking it away. “Your boss called. He said you don’t have to work tomorrow. That’s great, right? You can stay the night - you don’t have to leave.”

You nodded, feeling a little sick but faking a smile anyways. “Great.” You were tired, physically and emotionally. You felt bad for even thinking it, but you wanted a break from your boyfriend. You wanted some space. He was making you feel uncomfortable, bordering on unsafe, and you found yourself craving the security you felt in Donghyuck’s room.

“Um, I’m gonna take a shower,” you conjured the excuse for an escape. 

“Okay,” Johnny accepted it easily, smiling widely. He wrapped his arms around your waist, planting a kiss on your forehead. “Don’t be gone too long, alright?”

“Alright,” you nodded, breathing a sigh of relief when he released you. You would stay another night; it wasn’t worth upsetting Johnny over.

You had to admit that you felt a lot better after showering. The warm water had relaxed you, along with the familiar and comforting scent of your shampoo grounding you and bringing your emotions to a calmer, neutral level. You were standing before the bathroom mirror, applying moisturiser to your face, when you heard a click. A turn.

The broken lock.

Before you could act, Donghyuck was before you, staring at you with wide eyes. You let out a yelp, turning around, though most of your skin was hidden beneath your towel.

“Fuck, sorry! I’m so sorry! Don’t tell Johnny about this!” he blurted.

“It’s okay,” you responded, cheeks flushed. You weren’t sure Donghyuck had heard your forgiveness, however; you’d heard him dash away while your back was turned. You laugh awkwardly to yourself at the mishap, before closing the door again and making certain to twist the lock properly. It had only been a silly mistake, you reassured yourself. And he hadn’t seen anything, besides your bare shoulders, which was hardly a great reveal.

You shook your head, before drying and dressing yourself. The poor boy had been so flustered, and you had to admit it was sort of endearing.

“Nice shower?” Johnny asked when you returned to his room, lying on his bed atop the covers.

You nodded, joining him on the bed. “I feel so relaxed now.”

He pulled you close to him, kissing your lips gently. “Jaehyun’s making dinner for everyone, it’ll be ready before long.”

“That’s nice of him,” you murmured, laying your head on Johnny’s shoulder. “Poor Donghyuck, though. We had a really awkward moment in the bathroom, I don’t know if he’ll be ready to face me.”

You felt Johnny tense, his muscles going hard beneath you. “What do you mean?”

“He walked in on me showering. I don’t think he saw much, but-”

Johnny sat up abruptly, causing your head to fall back on the bed. “He fucking what?” Johnny hissed.

“Johnny, it’s fine,” you insisted. “I was wrapped in a towel-”

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Johnny cursed, standing.

“Johnny,” you spoke firmly, grabbing his arm in a tight grip. “Stop. I said he didn’t see anything.”

“I fucking hope not,” Johnny growled, sitting down once more. He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, stroking your face lightly. His hand was trembling. “You’re my angel,” he said. “I don’t want anybody else seeing you like that.”

“It won’t happen again, okay? I’m all yours, I promise.” You placed your hand on top of Johnny’s, soothing him with your touch. His temper, flaring again. This wasn’t something you liked much about Johnny, and you hadn’t been all that glad to meet this side of him. But, you bargained, nobody was perfect - you certainly weren’t. Besides, you had been ready this time; your firm tone and gentle touch had helped to calm him.

Johnny stood up, rubbing his face with both of his hands. You heard him release a shaky breath.

“Please calm down, Johnny. I’m sorry.”

“I’m fine,” he said, nodding certainly. “I’m calm.”

“Let’s go get dinner, yeah?” You stood, intertwining your fingers with his.

“Yeah,” he agreed, squeezing your hand a little too tightly.

Johnny’s rather sour mood remained all throughout dinner, as evidenced by his clenched jaw and the protective hand he laid on your thigh. His sullen demeanor made him somewhat of a bore to be around, and you found yourself laughing and joking with his friends; you’d be happy to consider Donghyuck a friend, and Mark was hilarious too. Johnny didn’t seem to like this, however. You spent the last portion of the meal in silence, quietly eating and staying close to Johnny’s side.

Even afterwards, as you watched a movie with the group, Johnny refused to relax and let go of his needless worries. Everybody was laughing at the movie, but you couldn’t help but notice that Johnny hadn’t even cracked a smile the whole time. In fact, you didn’t even think he’d been watching the movie; his eyes hardly left you, flitting between your face and your body. As though if he stopped watching you, something horrible would happen. As though he were keeping guard.

He pulled you closer towards him, though there was very little space between the two of you on the couch beforehand. His lips connected with your cheek, before straying down towards your neck. You felt your skin heat up in embarrassment, although all eyes in the room were still trained on the television. Johnny wrapped his arm around your waist, using his strength to lift you onto his lap. You squeaked at the sudden action, earning inquisitive glances from Johnny’s friends, which only fuelled how flustered you were. He held your body close to his, squeezing you. His breath tickled your neck, sending shivers down your spine, before he sunk his teeth into your skin. You hoped your muffled moan went unnoticed, but your eyes were shut tightly so it was unknown to you. You squirmed in Johnny’s lap, thighs clenching together tightly.

In another show of Johnny’s strength, or perhaps just his relative power in comparison to your apparent weakness, he lifted you swiftly. The abrupt movement surprised you, and you gasped sharply.

“Y/N and I are going upstairs,” Johnny announced to the group, and you silently allowed him to guide you away.

“Because,” he continued as you two left the room, “I can take Y/N any time I want.”

“Johnny!” you scolded him, mouth agape with humiliation as his boys hollered in your wake. He ignored your cries of reprimand, scooping you up off your feet with a grin on his face. 

“C’mon, baby,” he whispered, carrying you away to his bedroom. You sighed in fond exasperation, laying your head against his chest. You condemned his announcement of “I can take Y/N any time I want,” but the fact remained true that he could certainly take you then.

Monday morning. You were growing terribly bored of this big, old house in the middle of nowhere. Spending time with Johnny was nice, when he wasn’t baring his angry possessive side. Although you really liked him, you found yourself wanting some space. And so, when you woke up before Johnny, you left his sleeping form behind, pulled one of his oversized sweaters over your head, and set out to explore the enormous house that had become your confinement.

Nobody else was awake, or so it seemed when you ventured downstairs and poured yourself a glass of juice. You felt itchy, agitated. Even when you settled on the couch, the sense of calm you desired simply refused to fall over you. With an agitated sigh, you advanced throughout the house, exploring the ground floor. You had learned that all the bedrooms were on the first floor, and so you’d been wondering where one specific door led. Off the left of the hallway, aside from the kitchen and living area, and the ground floor bathroom.

The door creaked as you pushed it open, as did the floorboards when you stepped through the threshold. The room was dark, though you identified the furnishings of a study when you squinted your eyes. You moved to the far side of the room, drawing open the heavy red curtains thereby illuminating the space and releasing a cloud of dust at the same time. You waved the cloud away, choking.

There was a sturdy desk, littered with boxes full of clutter, accompanied by a rickety chair that looked like it would fall apart if you put any weight on it. You gasped a silent “wow” as you took in the wall opposite the door, lined with shelves that stretched from floor to ceiling, crammed to the brim with books of every size. You approached the extensive library, examining the titles. You didn’t recognise anything, apart from a few classics, but it was still an impressive collection. You began to wonder whether one of the boys had inherited the property from an older relative - none of them seemed particularly studious or academic, at least not enough to warrant an assortment of books this great. You trailed a finger along the spines, accumulating yet more dust. The books, much like the room in its entirety, had sat untouched for a long time.

“Boo!”

You shrieked, spinning around with your arms raised in defence, only to sigh in relief and clutch your heart. “Donghyuck! You scared me!”

The boy bent in half, in stitches at the fear he’d instilled in you. “I’m sorry! I couldn’t resist!” You couldn’t help but join in with his laughter; it was just so infectious. Even minutes later, you were cackling while wiping tears away from your eyes.

“So,” Donghyuck spoke, as his laughter died down. “What are you doing in here?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, still smiling. “Just exploring, I guess.”

“I don’t think there’s anything interesting in here,” Donghyuck claimed, looking around at the books.

“Really? It seems like hidden treasure to me.” You peered upwards, at the higher shelves, before standing on your tiptoes and stretching upwards, reaching for an eye-catching book with a golden spine.

“Careful,” Donghyuck murmured, placing a hand on the small of your back to steady you as you strained.

You heard Johnny’s growl, a split second before he entered your field of vision, entering the study and shoving Donghyuck away from you.

“Johnny!” you cried, feeling helpless and out of control as he squared up to the younger man.

Donghyuck had his hands raised in surrender, looking at his friend with concern tainting his expression. “Hey, man, calm down,” he attempted to pacify Johnny.

“Stay away from Y/N,” Johnny yelled, right in Donghyuck’s face

You leapt into action, maneuvering your way in between the pair, palm flat on Johnny’s chest. “Johnny, look at me,” you commanded him firmly. There was a fire in his eyes that you didn’t recognise. It flamed, bright and angry, threatening to burn anything and everything in its path. It scared you, and you resisted strongly against the urge to cower before him.

“Come on, Y/N,” he bit, gripping your forearm tightly. Potentially tight enough to bruise.

“Come on where?” you asked, stumbling as you struggled to keep up. He tugged you out of the room and down the hall, as you tried not to trip over your own feet.

“We’re going for a walk. Put your shoes on,” he demanded, arms crossed, waiting for you to obey.

“I- Johnny- What?” you sputtered. “Can I at least go upstairs and get my coat?”

“No,” he denied flatly. You rolled your eyes, slipping into your shoes. Wasting no time, Johnny pulled you out of the house, slamming the door behind you. You followed after him, your heart pounding with a mixture of uncertainty, anxiety, and speechless anger, as he marched you out into the woods, only stopping when you reached a clearing a good distance away from the house.

“Something’s going on between you and Donghyuck,” Johnny stated with hard certainty, as though it were fact. His face was flushed red, veins prominent along his forehead. He looked at you expectantly, but you had no idea what he wanted in response.

You sighed, rubbing your eyes tiredly. You couldn’t help but yell at him. “Johnny, what are you talking about? You’re my boyfriend. I like you. But not when you act like this, Jesus Christ!”

Johnny advanced, closing the gap between you, and you flinched when he regained his grip on your arm. “You need to stay the fuck away from Donghyuck, okay?”

“This is such a huge overreaction!” You tried to struggle away from his grip, but he was far too strong, his will iron.

Johnny leaned in, impossibly even closer to your face. “I brought you here, as my baby, to show you off to all my friends,” he hissed. “And you let them get their grubby little hands on you? I thought better of you, Y/N. I thought you were fucking faithful.”

Your heart raced, pounding wildly with how badly you wanted to get away from him. You didn’t think you could forgive him for this outburst. You just wanted to leave. “You’re fucking insane,” you shouted at him.

Johnny looked disgusted at your words. “Don’t talk to me like that.”

“Me?” you asked incredulously, finally shrugging out of his grasp. “Me, don’t talk to you like that? Listen, Johnny, I’m not your shiny little toy you can show off to your friends. I’m a human being. And you have no right telling me who I can and can’t talk to.”

“Come here.” Johnny was looking at you, his mouth a straight line, his eyes cold.

“Why?”

“Come here,” he repeated, and you hesitantly took a step forward, afraid to disobey him when he spoke in such an angry, demanding voice. Johnny reached out, gripping you by the arm before spinning you round quickly, pulling you close to him. Your chest was pressed tightly against his back, his arm across your chest, locking you in place. You could feel his heavy, ragged breathing.

“I’m not happy, Y/N,” he jeered, whispering into your ear harshly. “You’re my angel, and you’ve upset me. Maybe you aren’t such an angel after all.” You thrashed, but his grasp on you only tightened. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“Johnny, please,” you begged, your voice nothing but a hoarse whimper.

“Let me talk,” he hissed at you. “You’ve hurt me. And I need to show you - I need to hurt you back.”

“What are you- let me go!” You continued to flail in his hold, kicking out your feet but failing to do any real damage to him.

“Shh, it’ll only last a second,” he hushed you, his lips touching your ear and sending shivers down your spine. You felt him fumble behind you, and found an opportunity for escape, but it was no use. His grip on you was iron-tight, unrelenting. Johnny jabbed you in the chest, slightly to the left of your sternum, directly over your banging heart. You looked down, choking on a sob. 

One of Johnny’s pistols, the so-called collectible item, was pressing into your skin.

“Right in the heart, Y/N. That’s where you hurt me.” 

“Johnny, please!” you cried, struggling in vain. Tears blurred your vision, and spit flew from your mouth as you pleaded with him. “Let me go, Johnny, I’m sorry!”

“Goodnight, angel.”

You heard the gunshot before you felt it. In fact, you hardly even felt it at all. There was a bang, your ears rang, and then nothing. You collapsed, falling limp in Johnny’s arms. His angel.

#nct-writers #kpopscape #kdiner #kconnet #unfortunatus: inferno #johnny #johnny suh #johnny seo #johnny x reader #johnny scenarios #johnny angst #nct #nct x reader #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #nct dream #nct u #nct 2020 #nct 127 #wayv #nct angst #johnny imagines #johnny fics #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop drabbles #kpop imagines #kpop x reader #gender neutral reader

[rinharu-purple]

Also a head canon about how STF tease Gavin about their sister in law?👀 I’m sorry if I’m asking a lot lmaooo. Hope you take care of yourself and doing well☺️✨

Happy August dear anon, I ate 3 home made macarons today, does that count as taking care of self? 🐭 I hope you're also having a nice week and enjoying summer ☀️☀️☀️

Pt. 3 Wednesdays are for Headcanons: STF- Special Tease Forces

Monday: Gavin comes to the HQ later than the usual. The team make a pack to play with his biological clock...(by setting all the clocks in the headquarters forward one hour, hoping they can go earlier :D)

Li Yu: Hey Captain you've made it right on time for our 10.00 am briefing!

Gavin: But it's 9..

Eli: Hey Gavin if you keep chit chatting you will miss the briefing.

Gavin: hmm... OK, when you're all set then let's start.

....

Tang Chao: Alright everybody let's have lunch!

Agent 1: thank God, I'm starving!

Agent 2: Let's eat a second breakfast for lunch today.

All: Agreed!

...

Minor: Hey bro Gavin we're going to trudge together in an hour right? (they also dragged him into this)

Gavin: But I'm going to dinner with MC first.

Minor: She says she can't make it, so let's go.

Gavin: What a weird day

MC furious at 6 pm: Didn't you promise to have dinner with me before you meet Minor?! Where are you?!!

... Poor guy has missed an hour of his day for coming 10 min late to work on 15th of February 🤖

Tuesday: Eli catches Gavin washing tupperware in the kitchen.

Eli: If you wanna become a true househusband you need to...

Gavin: Three

Eli: What?

Gavin: Two

Eli: I think you forgot some rest around the bottom of the cup

Gavin: One

Eli: You should also start cooking for her you know?

Gavin: If one has met the right one, being househusband becomes a role you don't mind. Maybe you'll understand one day what I mean. How's your love life going? (warned you)

Wednesday: Gavin disappears during the mission and reappears 20 minutes afterwards.

Once he's back everybody acts as though they wouldn't see or hear him and then when Gavin.

Tang Chao: Hey everybody, Captain Gavin has obviously left us so let's head back.

Yu Li: Yeah, he surely must have more important things then... You know... Saving the city?

Eli: He surely sets his priorities straight. Too bad that we're only his band of brothers looking out for his back, spending sleepless nights, going through hell and back.

Agent 1: I wonder how many laps would be my punishment if I did that?

Gavin: The mission is over since 1,5 hours. The question is, why are you all dozing off here? You look like you have lots of time in hand, I could fix That!

All: Gotta go captain, see you around! (all disappear to dust in 0,00001th of a second.

Thursday: Gavin receives a huge package at work and it's the job of the newest rookie to hand it over to him.

Rookie: Captain Gavin this package has arrived for you. I've scanned it with my evol. It's safe sir (his Evol is ultravision and can see through objects)

Gavin: How did you scan it exactly?

Rookie: ehmm... Because I wanted to make sure that I don't put your safety at risk and to eliminate all possible dangers, in accordance with the STF code number 12...

Gavin: Just give me a direct answer!

Rookie: The eye mask with a bunny on it, a bottle of massage oil with ylang ylang aroma, a package of heart shaped cookies and the note "for my unassailable monument hero" all proved to be cleared... sir.

Gavin: So is this what you wish to be written on your tombstone? *sighs... You're new here, so I'm only going to warn you this once. When you see a package from the Sender MC, you will not touch it. Understood?

Rookie: Yes, sir! I'll inform lt. Eli as well.

Gavin: hm?

Rookie: Lt. Eli supervised me while scanning the package to make sure I don't make any mistakes.

Gavin: And?

Rookie: Agent Tang Chao was present to make sure I'm telling the truth, Yu Li transferred the information to...

Gavin: to?

Rookie: Data process team.

Gavin: 185.

Rookie: Sir?

Gavin: Laps around the HQ building. Go!

Friday: Tang Chao catches Gavin lying all day long and decides to be the lucky winner of the week.

Eli: Hey Gavin, let's go grab some drinks after work.

Gavin: Can't, I have to modify my bike.

Tang Chao: For 30 minutes, then he is picking Mrs. Commander up.

---—--------—

Yu Li: Captain Gavin, have you ever used make up?

Gavin: Never

Tang Chao: He applied make up on his fiancée.

---—---–—---

Agent: Captain Gavin, would you ever drive a Ferris Wheel?

Gavin: What am I? 12?

Tang Chao: He gives his fiancée Ferris Wheel rides whenever she wants and secretly enjoys it.

------—----—

Gavin enters the break room while the squad is reading an article about military men.

Agent: What does it mean "Military men are always horny, because they're away on missions regularly"?

Eli: That's really nonsense, military men can go weeks without their beloved ones.

Yu Li: Funny you say that Lt. Eli.

Eli: How about you hot shots?

Yu Li: My girlfriend is still mad at me, so I have other concerns right now. I'm out.

Rookie: Oh Captain Gavin! How is it with your libido?

All:.... (oh no you didn't)

Gavin: Drill Manager

All: What?

Tang Chao: Don't worry everybody I got this.

Gavin: Tang Chao

Tang Chao: Ready. I already know what you're thinking... Starting this weekend... For 3 days... Non stop... Thirsty... Sleepless nights... Outdoors... Burning hot... Hell... Mission... Volunteer... Tang Chao.

Tang Chao: Wait what?

Gavin: LI Yu, did you transfer the order to the drill manager?

Li Yu: Affirmative.

Gavin: I'm leaving now. You can congratulate this week's lucky winner when I'm gone.

----—----—-----

That's it folks!

I hope you had something like this in mind dear anon ^_^

Masterlist

#wednesdays are for head canons #Military #Special Task force #Stf #mlqc #mlqc gavin #mlqc bai qi #mlqc haku #mlqc baek gi #mr love queen's choice #koi to producer #Mldd gavin #Mldd #mr. love gavin #Headcanons #Teasing gone bad #mlqc eli #Mlqc minor #Mlqc Tang chao

[moonbeambucky]

Hey Neighbor (Part 17)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 4359 Warnings: fluff, light angst

Summary: You had a plan and then life came along with one of its own. With your future almost derailed you worked hard to get yourself back on track and finally everything seemed to be going right… that is, until your new neighbor moved in.

A/N: I know you’re excited for the wedding but we’re not quite there yet. Although I think you’ll be happy about this... mostly. Feedback is always appreciated!

HEY NEIGHBOR PART 16 | HEY NEIGHBOR MASTERLIST

Somehow it was decided that this was a good idea, that Coney Island wouldn’t be so bad on Memorial Day weekend. You were very wrong.

Everyone had the same idea, filling the subways until they were packed as you made the long trip to Brooklyn. What should have taken just over an hour became closer to two because of overcrowding. It was hard to guarantee that eight people would make it onto the same train with all the pushing and shoving of people ensuring that they made it inside before the doors shut.

By the time you arrived everyone was hungry and the mass of people covering the large Boardwalk only added to the frustration you were all feeling. Clint, Steve, Peggy and Bucky wanted Nathan’s hot dogs while you, Natasha and Wanda didn’t. You decided to split up, going down the Boardwalk to another place that was just as crowded but offered something for each of you.

“There’s no place to sit,” Natasha said, looking around as she held a lobster roll in one hand and a beer in the other.

“Ooh, over there,” you said, pointing to a bench across the Boardwalk that was quickly taken before you had the chance to take even one step towards it.

There were a few high top tables that you could stand up in front of so you quickly ran over to an open one before someone else could. Natasha lined up her food on the table, getting the restaurant’s name in the background as she took a picture.

“Clint just texted me. They’re finally about to order.”

“About time,” Wanda said, taking a bite of her sausage and pepper roll. She nudged over her container of fries towards you and Natasha, silently offering them.

“They’re asking if we should meet up with them by the Wonder Wheel.”

“Sounds good to me,” you said while chewing, covering your mouth so pieces of your cheeseburger didn’t spit out.

Despite the crowds this brief moment felt nice, feeling the breeze from the ocean and the warm sun heating your skin. Memorial Day weekend was the unofficial start of summer and that meant you could finally begin your countdown to graduation. You had three months more to go before you would finally reach your goal and it was… scary. Scary and exciting at the same time but you couldn’t wait for that day.

“So Saturday’s the big wedding huh?” Natasha smirked.

You raised your eyebrow, not giving in to the way she looked at you. “Yes it is but we’re getting there Friday and before you say anything our hotel has two beds, okay? Two of them.” you said, sticking two fingers in front of her face.

Natasha mumbled something under her breath that you didn’t bother to decipher. Nothing was going to happen. A little dancing, a little awkward conversation with people you don’t know and that’s it.

“Horses?” Wanda asked you, tilting her head up so you could get a glimpse. Natasha looked confused but held her tongue.

Music filled your ears as you passed a group of people gathered on the Boardwalk watching others dance. It was nice to see everyone let go and enjoy the sunshine.

Wanda kissed Sam as soon as the groups joined up again in contrast to Natasha. “I don’t like hot dog breath,” she said, looking into her bag for gum or a mint to give Clint.

Making a face she didn’t see, he mockingly signed back Natasha’s words making you laugh since you understood him. Bucky held his left palm up, sliding the middle finger of his right hand over it. To your shock you realized he just signed back “rude” to Clint.

Turning towards him you asked, “When did you learn ASL?”

“When someone told me our neighbor signs.” He smiled widely and you suddenly felt light enough for the breeze to carry you away. “C’mon,” Bucky said, nudging his head for you to start walking with the group.

He adjusted the brim of his baseball cap, which was the only difference between your outfits today as Sam pointed out. You and Bucky were basically matching and he thought it was cute that you coordinated even though it wasn’t planned.

You both wore crisp white t-shirts, jeans (though yours were shorts), and converse sneakers. Arguing that you were wearing red sneakers unlike Bucky’s black ones made no difference, everyone still thought it was a very “coupley” thing to do.

As you walked towards the Wonder Wheel you couldn’t help but stare at Bucky's arms. They had gotten much bigger ever since he started working out with Sam and Steve and those muscles definitely stood out now; tanned skin with a prominent vein running down his arm you couldn’t take your eyes off of.

“Swinging cars? Oh no. I’m good,” Sam said as you approached the line.

“Me too. I’ve got a belly full of hot dogs so I’d rather not,” Clint added.

The group split with Sam, Wanda, Clint and Natasha getting in line for the stationary cars as you, Bucky, Peggy and Steve waited for the swinging ones. When it was time to load into your car there were two benches facing forward. Steve and Peggy took the front one and you guys were in the back. Bucky let you enter first and you sat down quickly so the attendant could close the door, adjusting your bag between your legs on the floor.

Steve turned his head around, smiling at you in a way that made you furrow your brows at him but your unspoken communication was interrupted as the ferris wheel began moving backwards. He faced forward again, reaching his arm around Peggy in the cramped space.

The car stopped suddenly but above you was the shadow of another cart and the sounds of screams as it rocked along its own track. Everybody on the stationary cars were missing out, this was going to be fun.

Half a minute went by before the ferris wheel moved again, this time stopping at a point where your car was able to roll forward. You expected the jolt but it didn’t mean you were prepared for it and somehow you found yourself grabbing Bucky by the shoulder as you screamed with laughter as the cart swung back and forth. He didn’t seem to mind, in fact he wished you kept your hand on him the whole time.

He envied Steve holding Peggy close. When the car reached the top he watched them kiss, a small peck to show affection and Bucky was undeniably jealous. Steve had met the perfect girl in Peggy, and Bucky felt the same way about a certain person sitting next to him.

You only accepted his request to be his wedding date because he begged, he’s sure of that. It was so pathetic for him to plead but he really wanted you to go with him, and shamefully, since he knew you had sworn off dating, this was the closest thing he would ever get.

His profile was still up on the apps, and occasionally he would make plans to meet someone. The closer the wedding got, the less frequent it’s been. He’s not proud of the fact that he’s made dates and cancelled them. He tried his best to remember to cancel in advance but sometimes he would forget, becoming lost in the music he was creating, only to find a few messages with choice language he rightfully deserved from the people he didn’t mean to stand up.

Bucky wasn’t interested in any of them, only one person was always on his mind and yet he knew he would have to let that go. Going to the wedding together isn’t going to help his feelings but he hopes by some strange logic he can allow his heart to live out whatever fantasy is not coming true and then let you go.

“You wanna hit the beach now?” Sam asked, once you all got off the Wonder Wheel.

“Yeah, Nat says my ass is pasty,” Clint replied.

Natasha’s nostrils flared as her eyes widened in shock. “You are not tanning your pasty ass on this public beach Clint!”

Laughter rang out and Clint leaned in to peck a kiss to Natasha’s full lips which relaxed her tense expression. Despite all their teasing they loved each other deeply and it made your heart ache, longing to have a love like theirs.

The crowds on the beach hadn’t let up, not that anyone expected them to. Umbrellas of every color of the rainbow were spread out across the sand and it didn’t look like there was even a spot for all of you to fit among the crowd but that didn’t stop anyone.

Your sneakers crunched on the sand scattered along the wood planks by the entrance, grabbing the hot metal railing to pull them off before you walked down onto the beach. Bucky followed suit, holding his sneakers in hand while everyone else left on their flip flops or slip-on.

The sand was burning hot against your soles that also battled against sharp seashells as you trudged your way to a spot, following behind the group. Clint’s impeccable vision pointed out a spot big enough for all of you and rushed over there staking a claim.

Steve shrugged his shoulder down to let the heavy bag he was carrying for Peggy go. She had packed a large bag with towels, sunscreen and a few collapsible umbrellas. Sam helped Steve by setting up the umbrellas as everyone else worked to set their towels down.

Pulling out a large towel you placed your sneakers inside your tote bag, holding it open for Bucky in case he wanted to protect his from the sand as well.

“Hey where’s your stuff?” you wondered out loud as he placed his sneakers inside.

Bucky clenched his teeth together making an adorable face that told you your answer before he gave it. “When you said we were going to Coney Island I didn’t think you meant the actual beach. I figured food and drinks...” he trailed off, still awkwardly grimacing.

“It’s okay. You can share mine,” you offered. Turning away to unravel the towel, you missed the soft smile that settled on his face at the prospect of being close to you.

Bucky helped smooth out the towel, a pretty teal with gold pineapples printed across the fabric. He let a small huff out under his breath, disappointed by the fact that your towel was bigger than he expected and he didn’t have an excuse to be as close as he hoped. The feeling passed just as quickly as Bucky realized how stupid his thoughts were; you were only offering him the towel, it was not an invitation for anything else.

His mental chastising paused from the moment your hands hooked on the waist of your shorts, pulling them down to reveal a bikini. A sexy snakeskin pattern in a mix of steel blue, black with speckles of white that hugged you like a second skin.

Bucky’s mouth fell open as you pulled off your shirt, revealing the matching top and he had to force his gaze away. His cheeks felt hot and with the shade of the umbrella he’s not sure he could use the sun as an excuse for his bright red face.

Sam caught the interaction, raising an eyebrow to Wanda as his mouth pulled into a deep smirk.

“Hey Bucky!” The sound of Sam’s unexpected voice startled Bucky, making him jump slightly as he whipped his head towards him. “What are you wearing man? Jeans? I hope you don’t have a speedo under them.”

Everyone laughed though the sound of your giggling made Bucky ripen like a tomato. With a shaky voice he dismissed Sam’s claim, wishing he had thought this day through and worn board shorts like everyone else.

“You’re not beach ready!” Sam said, crossing his broad, sculpted arms over his chest.

Frustrated by the sound of another innocent giggle that fell from your lips, Bucky pulled off his shirt tossing it aside. “Happy? I’m beach ready!”

The breath was pulled from your lungs leaving you unable to speak, think or do anything other than stare at Bucky. Your eyes scanned his muscular body up and down, as if he had been sculpted by the gods himself.

Your hands longed to touch every ab that was carved into his stomach and when your gaze continued lower you thought you might go feral. The deep cuts on his hips had your mouth watering and without realizing it your tongue had swept across your lips. It wasn’t until Bucky moved to sit down that your focus was broken.

“You look great,” you stated, clearing the nerves away from your throat. Bucky shrugged it off with a modest half smile, unable to fully embrace the compliment coming from you. “No really, I’m actually jealous. How the fuck do you have that body with all the pizza we’ve been eating?”

Your question made him laugh, wrinkling his nose as the smile spread across his face. The tension had eased although you were very aware of Bucky as you laid on the towel, trying not to stare at him like he was a piece of meat and you hadn’t eaten in weeks.

As Sam spoke about an ER case you were happily distracted, even though you were tempted to ogle Bucky every time he shifted beside you, cringing at the gory details. The hours passed quickly as you laid out, relaxing or talking with Peggy as Natasha, Wanda and Sam went into the water. Bucky sat beside Steve and Clint, the three of them laughing at their conversation.

Peggy spoke in a low whisper, “After the way you looked at him today I don’t think you can fool yourself much longer.”

You didn’t respond because there wasn’t much to say. Peggy saw the look in your eyes, the admission of what you both knew was true and the fear that came along with having feelings for him, knowing it wouldn’t go anywhere.

“Anyone want food? I’m gonna get more hot dogs,” Clint said, wiping sand from the back of his shorts as he stood up.

Both your heads shook and he left just as Natasha was coming back. She pulled out another towel to wrap around herself, “He’s getting food?” she asked despite knowing the answer.

Wanda and Sam returned hand in hand, drying off in the still very warm sun and asking about what everyone wanted to do afterwards.

“I’ve never been on the Cyclone before,” Peggy said, looking at Steve as they both silently recalled the story he told her about throwing up after going on it as a kid.

By the time Clint returned he had already eaten the hot dogs he bought, feigning shock to see everyone packing up. Bucky put his shirt back on, slightly wrinkled from the way he tossed it into your bag, and he caught your gaze as you were slipping on your shorts.

He looked away, lifting the towel and shaking the sand off of it. You helped him fold it up to place back in your bag and Bucky kindly removed both pairs of sneakers to avoid an uncomfortable mess.

When you made it to the Boardwalk you leaned against the railing, wiping sand from the bottom of your feet before putting on your shoes. Bucky did the same though he could still feel grains of uncomfortable sand in his socks.

Natasha and Wanda needed to change so you followed them to the bathroom to use it as everyone else waited. By the time you reached the Cyclone you were paired off to sit with Bucky again, not that you minded.

“Hold up,” Sam began, lifting his hand towards Clint, “You’re okay to ride a rollercoaster after eating but not the swinging ferris wheel?”

Clint nodded as he shrugged in response, not knowing how to explain why. Sam rolled his eyes, sharing a confused look with Wanda. They made sure to sit in the back to be far enough behind Clint, just in case.

You and Bucky were cramped together in the padded leather seats of the historic coaster; packed in like sardines and secured even tighter as the lap bar came down.

“It’s squishing my thighs,” Bucky winced, laughing as the ride began; a sharp right turn before the rickety chain began pulling the car up the hill.

Your hands were both in the air as you went down the first drop but quickly you dropped them, holding on to the padded lap bar because despite having no room to move every forceful turn had you pushing against each other.

Screams were present throughout the ride as the coaster went down steep hills and hard turns and in the end you turned towards Bucky, laughing in the pit of your stomach as you saw his hair, loose and wildly covering his face.

He combed through it with his fingers, taming it as best as he could before trying to get himself out of the seat. Once he was free he held a hand out for you to take and that’s when you felt the ache in your thighs. You hissed as you rubbed them, feeling how sore they were from the rough ride.

“Maybe Bucky could rub them for you,” Natasha whispered in your ear as she passed by, laughing, hand in hand with Clint who, defying all laws, did not throw up.

You rolled your eyes and continued to walk, a little painfully as you were still feeling the dull throb from your legs. Passing a few carnival games Steve and Sam eyed each other, their friendly competitive nature carried over from their workouts to now see who could win the bigger prize for their girl.

“Sam, I’m serious, I don’t want a giant teddy bear,” Wanda insisted but Sam couldn’t hear her.

His focus was on the best spot to aim to knock over the six tin cans. He licked his lips, a confident smile spreading across his face. Winding his arm back he let go, leaving all but one can standing.

“Let me show you how it’s done Sammy,” Steve said with swagger, as he paid for his game.

Peggy and Wanda shared a look as she also expressed no interest in a four foot bear. “Honestly, my apartment is small. I can’t have a massive bear taking up space.”

Thankfully Steve’s aim was no better, leaving two cans standing.

“Oh look at that. All those muscles and you can’t knock down more cans than me. Looks like I should be the Captain now,” Sam snickered.

You and Bucky opted for a much more friendly competition playing alongside Clint and Natasha in the water gun game. The four of you sat down on the padded stools, paying for your game and waiting for the round to begin as more people joined. Beside you a small child sat on his knees on the stool, as his mother held onto him and told him what to aim for.

Grabbing the gun you tried to position it towards the target in advance, ignoring Bucky’s comments about how he has the aim of a sniper so he always wins. At the sound of the bell the water turned on and you were an inch off from the center of the target, quickly adjusting and hoping there was some chance you could still win. The prize didn’t matter, but bragging rights certainly did.

“Number eight’s a winner!” the employee resounded.

To your left you saw Bucky’s wide “I told you so” smile, written across his face that now glowed with the flashing blue light above his winning station. Another sound made you turn your head though, the kid next to you that burst out into tears after losing. Your gaze softened as you watched his mother try to comfort him as the employee asked Bucky what color dinosaur plush he would like as his prize.

“Hey buddy,” Bucky said, ignoring the employee for a moment as he knelt down beside the crying child. “Which color’s your favorite?”

With a few sniffles he lifted his head up, tiny curled hands wiping away his tears as he asked for the purple dinosaur. Bucky proudly handed over the plush toy to the now smiling kid, accepting his mother’s thanks as they walked away.

Your heart was swelling with warmth and when Bucky turned around he was met with a soft smile you couldn’t hide. He turned away smiling, trying to hide the dusting of pink he felt forming on his cheeks.

With everyone feeling a little hungry now you followed Steve who knew about a good place a few blocks away. Walking beside Bucky your fingers brushed against his every so lightly making goosebumps ripple up your arm. You wanted to take his hand, lace your fingers together as a small sign to let him know how you felt but you were too scared.

Steve brought you to a small Mexican place that had an enclosed patio, with good music blasting and brightly colored margaritas that everyone around you seemed to have. The guys pushed two circular tables together so you could all sit, looking over the menu of food which you were hungry for but more importantly drinks that you hoped would give you the courage to grab Bucky’s hand.

Your table was with the girls though Bucky was still beside you, squeezing into the other table next to Steve.

“Mmmm nachos, and ohh tacos… I feel like I haven’t eaten in forever. I want them all,” you joked, reading over the menu.

With food on the table and a strawberry margarita in hand you felt great. Today may have been hot and crowded but it was a perfect day spent with your friends.

Natasha stood up, trying to angle a selfie with everyone in it meaning you had to lean back towards Bucky and after your drink you were a little looser, tipping your head backwards to smile at him. Bucky laughed, smiling back at you before Natasha said she was ready.

Bucky moved in closer, resting his chin on your shoulder, his long hair tickled your neck which made you giggle just as Natasha took the picture. He lingered there for longer than he should have before he sat up straight, ignoring the way Sam looked at him.

Somehow everything felt right. Tonight was the night you were going to let Bucky know how you felt. Your hand slowly inched closer to Bucky’s, reaching out for his left hand resting on his thigh. All you had to do was touch it, a light caress by your fingers, just enough to let him know there’s something you want to say without saying it yet.

“Bucky!”

The high pitched voice of a woman calling out to him made your arm jerk back into the safety of your lap.

Bucky turned to see a woman he unfortunately recognized. Whitney, a bartender he had gone on a date with two months ago and ghosted afterwards. She was nice but there weren’t any sparks. He slept with her anyway, regretfully.

With her head cocked to the side and hands on her hips she smirked as she replied. “You were supposed to text me back!”

“Yeah, sorry about that…” Bucky lied.

“That’s not very nice.” She pouted, playfully swatting at his chest. “And after that night we had!”

Bucky forced a tight smile as he looked past her in the hope that she had friends waiting for her. Whitney continued to flirt, at least that’s what Bucky thought by the sound of her voice, the way she purred her words to him even though he wasn’t paying any attention.

Relief flashed in his eyes when another girl stumbled her way towards them, lacing her arm through Whitney’s to pull her away. Bucky had never been happier to see a drunken mess, because this one was saving him from dealing with her.

“Text me sometime, okay Bucky?” Whitney cooed.

“Uh yeah yeah, sure. It was nice seeing you.” Bucky responded quickly, barely hearing what she had even said.

Before he could turn to sit back down Whitney grabbed him by the collar and pressed her lips against his. You turned away, finding solace in your drink, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

Bucky contemplated if wiping his lips would be too childish even if it’s what he honestly felt like doing. He sat down again, embarrassed that everyone had to witness that.

“So…” Sam began, breaking the ice, “Another hook up huh?”

“What? No. I… No that’s nothing going to happen. Not with her.”

Sam scoffed. “Oh so some other girl then? Have you ever tried actually dating one person?”

Steve blinked a few times at Sam’s candid question even if he agreed with the sentiment. After all this time he still didn’t understand why Bucky was so averse to dating.

“It’s just that…” Bucky started before he let out a grunting sigh.

From the corner of his eye Bucky saw your head turn ever so slightly to listen in. His cheeks began to match your margarita and he knew he couldn’t answer Steve honestly, not when he wanted to have this conversation with you in private. He hates the reputation he’s built up for himself, desperately wanting to be the great boyfriend you once thought he could be.

Bucky shrugged off the question, taking a sip of his drink instead. When his glass hits the table he looks towards you and your eyes meet for a second. His smile seems fake and you know why. He’s holding back from answering the truth because you know he probably wants to have an explicit conversation about all the girls he’s fucked, bragging about every dirty detail to the guys but he can’t because you’re there.

The rest of the night was a blur as all you could think about was how to let go of your feelings because you could never be in a relationship with Bucky.

PART 18

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes series

[pepethehobbit]

A Second Chance

Based on this gifset by @azozzoni .The dialogue between Jens and Lucas at the start is completely taken from the gifset. (Thank you for inspiring me to write this and for allowing me to post this! I hope you like it!)

Also on ao3.

“So now you finally know what it's like to be stood up. About time someone is making you check your ego,” Robbe says cheekily. It's accompanied with a gentle push of Jens' shoulder, probably in an attempt to lighten Jens' mood.

It's not working.

Jens simply scoffs and looks back down to his text messages with Lucas. His last one still unanswered even though he send it on Friday, three days ago now. He is staring at it maybe in hopes of Lucas finally texting back. All it does though is stare back at him, mocking him for his hope.  

You could've at least send a text.

But Lucas didn't. There has been nothing but radio silence on Lucas' end for the whole weekend. The whole weekend Jens fought with the urge to send another one, wanting to ask him why he didn't just say no, why he agreed to a date when Jens had finally collected his courage to ask him out, after weeks of what Jens thought was mutual flirting. Not only that but Lucas' confirmation came with an excited nod of his head and an elated smile, that made his ocean eyes shine with anticipation.

He was so excited when Lucas has actually said yes, so happy that he didn't read the signs wrong, that the little dance around each other and all those stolen glances meant something, that Lucas was actually interested in him. Jens feels so stupid. Whatever feelings made him say yes must've vanished in the meantime or, as Jens has not allowed himself to really think about, must've simply never existed.

The first half an hour he was a little worried but still chill, Jens doesn't have the best track record with punctuality either. At the forty five minute mark he started to worry a little more and had send the first text, asking him if he was okay, if something happened. When he didn't get an answer to that after another hour Jens had finally accepted that Lucas simply wouldn't come, that he has been stood up. Which is when he send that last text.

He called Robbe instead, who immediately picked up with worry in his voice, knowing that Jens was supposed to be on a date with the boy who his best friend couldn't stop talking about in the last few weeks. They had a good old fashioned sleep over and even with Sander there, it was exactly what Jens needed to not wallow in self pity. He really, really liked Lucas. When he first saw him enter the classroom, introduced by the teacher as a new student from Utrecht, he felt this inexplicable pull and this inability to take his eyes off him. His pulse quickened when those eyes were set on him and a tiny, surprised smile pulled at the corner of Lucas' mouth.

The rational side of Jens can't make sense of it, especially when his brain supplies with him with enough memories of Lucas that made him so sure that there was something between them. The blush on the other boy's cheek when Jens had reached out to tuck that one curl behind his ear, claiming that he had something in his hair. The way Lucas' hand would brush against his one too many times to be a coincidence. The compliments that Lucas would accept freely and give back with a smile that made Jens want to kiss it off. That one time he almost did.

He is too lost in his thoughts to notice someone approach until he hears Robbe's voice next to him: “Look who's coming this way. The boy who broke Jens' hea-” Jens quickly slaps Robbe's arm to stop him from finishing that sentence. There is no way that Lucas needs to know how hurt he was by him.

Jens has a hard time trying to figure out what Lucas' expression could mean. He looks apprehensive, as if not sure what to do or say now that he is actually in front of Jens. What he settles on only infuriates Jens a little bit more. If only because the answer to the question is most definitely yes, despite how much Jens tried to forget about Lucas over the weekend.

“Hey, you miss me?”

Jens doesn't give him anything, tries to keep his reaction to a minimum. He raises his drink to his mouth and takes a sip, letting Lucas cook in the uncomfortable tension between them.

“I'm sorry I didn't come the other day. I can explain.”

At this point, Jens' disappointment, anger and wounded pride prevent him from actually wanting to know the explanation. He also doesn't want Lucas to think he still cares. It would be nice if he could convince himself of that as well.

“No need. I get it,” Jens says, voice cold and final. The pained look on Lucas' face momentarily makes him want to take his words back. But the memory of waiting for him in the skate park for nearly two hours makes him stick to his decision.

Lucas holds his gaze for a few more seconds, looking defeated and sad and Jens nearly breaks. But then he simply turns around and walks away. Jens watches his retreating form with a thoughtful expression, still fighting between the feeling of having done the right thing and the regret for not letting Lucas explain.

Robbe's “Maybe you should hear him out” is not really helping him sort through his confused feelings. “Shut up, Robbe,” Jens replies more irritated than he meant to.

“Jens, he looked really–”

“No, Robbe. Just drop it. I don't wanna talk about it anymore. Are we going to skate or what?”

His best friend eyes him with a concerned expression, probably considering if it is a good idea to push right now. He must decide against it because he simply shrugs his shoulders, sets down his board and skates off, looking over his shoulder to check if Jens is joining him. Jens tries to shake off his confusing feelings and follows his best friend.

* * *

It's only in the evening when Robbe has already gone off to his date with Sander that he sees the messages. He wishes his best friend would still be here, so he could advice him what to make of it.

Jens, I'm really sorry.

Please give me another chance.

I swear I can explain, something happened but I don't want to tell you over text.

He sounds sincere enough, but what could've happened that he can't just explain over text? Admitting that he simply doesn't feel like that about Jens would probably be easier to text. Cowardly, but easier. So maybe it's not that? Maybe he is saying the truth and something did really happen. But again, he couldn't even write one single text message for the whole duration of the weekend to explain or even apologize?

Either way, the regret of not letting Lucas explain has won over the certainty of having made the right choice since the skate park. If Lucas is as sincere as his message seems to be he deserves a chance to explain and after some consideration Jens is willing to give him one. He just hopes Lucas doesn't break his heart a second time.

Tomorrow after school?

The answer comes immediately, even though Jens has responded nearly five hours after Lucas' initial message.

Thank you, Jens! I hope you can forgive me.

Part of him hopes the same thing and an even smaller part, not ready to be acknowledged or questioned, tells him that he already did.  

* * *

It was nerve wrecking seeing Lucas at school the next day. They only have one class together so at least that made it easier to avoid him until the end of school today. But during that one hour Jens was so distracted by the presence of the other boy just two tables ahead of him that he has a hard time even recalling the topic they were talking about. It didn't help at all that Lucas has turned around to Jens every few minutes, catching him stare at him every time. Lucas had send him a shy smile the third time it happened and Jens was too weak to look away until the teacher called on him and he was at a loss of words. He tried his best to ignore Lucas the rest of the lesson after that.

When the last bell of the day rings, Jens reluctantly gets up from his seat next to Robbe, who sends him an encouraging smile and says: “It's the right choice Jens. Everybody fucks up sometime. He seems honest, I don't think he would have stoop you up if he didn't have a very good reason. I've seen the way he looks at you. There is no way that he didn't want to go on that date with you.”

It does little to actually settle his nerves but it does give him hope. Robbe has always been way too perceptive for his own good and he trusts his best friend's intuition more than his own right now. “Thanks, Robbe,” Jens replies, his voice stronger than he expected considering his nerves. He doesn't even know why he is that nervous. All he has to do is listen to Lucas' explanation and decide if he wants to forgive him.

Robbe nudges his elbow into his side and nods towards the school gate, where Lucas is already standing, looking over at them, fidgeting with the sleeves of his pink jumper which stick out under his jean jacket. He seems even more nervous and that actually helps Jens to calm down a little bit. At least he is not in the position where he has to explain himself. He simply has to listen.

Jens turns to Robbe, says his goodbyes and makes his way over to Lucas, his pulse quickening with every step he gets closer to him. Once he reaches him he doesn't know how to start this conversation but he also thinks that maybe this isn't his responsibility right now. He looks at Lucas expectantly, raises his eyebrows, silently asking him to begin.

“Can we not talk here? We could go to the little park around the corner?” Lucas asks timidly, still fidgeting with his hands, avoiding Jens' gaze. Jens would actually rather not, would like to know sooner rather than later, but he guesses somewhere more private would be more comfortable for both of them. “Sure, lead the way.”

The walk there is unsurprisingly very silent. What is surprising though, is that it's not entirely uncomfortable or awkward. Jens did not realize just how much he missed just being in Lucas' proximity. He was in general a very chill person but, as every ordinary person, still had thoughts and  anxieties haunting him. When he had spend time with Lucas though, his mind was completely quiet. With Lucas everything had felt so easy and uncomplicated and sure. Well, until now. Even though the silence is not uncomfortable, it isn't exactly comforting either, making Jens' thoughts race with possibilities of what Lucas is about to explain to him.

Lucas is leading them to a swing set and sits down on one of the seats, swaying back and forth with his feet on the ground. He looks up at Jens and motions him to sit down next to him on the other swing. Jens does, wanting to turn towards Lucas but choosing against it, thinking maybe it would make it easier for him to tell him, if he doesn't feel like Jens is watching him, maybe choosing the swing set for this exact reason.

“My mom is ill. She has bipolar disorder.”

Whatever Jens was expecting, it definitely wasn't this. Before Sander and Moyo and Robbe, he may have reacted differently, but he learned through them and has at least an idea what this actually means. Lucas has never mentioned his mom before, Jens notices now, not once in the four weeks they know each other now. He only knows that he moved here with his father and he figured if Lucas would want to talk about his mother he would someday tell him. A vague idea is developing in his head about how this relates to their situation now and he feels a sense of regret for how he reacted when Lucas first came to explain. But it's clear to see that the last thing Lucas needs right now is to make it about Jens.

“Okay. And how is she now?”

Lucas turns to him, seeming surprised at that reaction. “Do you know what that means?”

“Yeah, Moyo's mom is bipolar, Sander too. I thought he already told you?” Lucas turns away from Jens again, seeming confused and caught off guard at the revelation. Jens gives him a minute to adjust this to the picture of Sander he is sure Lucas already had in his mind. Out of all the brothers Sander was probably the one closest to him (excluding Jens). “No, he didn't,” Lucas simply states, seeming a bit lost now.

“So, how is your mom?” Jens asks, trying to get the conversation to what is was originally about. Lucas looks up with a calculating gaze as if to try and figure out what to make of Jens' reaction.

“She had a manic episode on Friday. She called me and from the sound of her voice alone I could already tell that she was manic. But what she said made me freak out even more. She said that she misses me, that she doesn't have a car right now but that she could simply walk to Antwerp, that she only called to let me know that she was on her way. I…, I managed to avert her from that idea, promising her that I would make my way over there right now. By the time I arrived she was mostly out of it, but… but then the depression has already hit. Harder than I have ever seen with her before. I tried to take care of her as much as I could but I just … I just couldn't do it alone and I had to call the hospital where she had already stayed once. They came to pick her up on Sunday which is when I went back to Antwerp. I just left her there all alone.”

Lucas' voice sounds thick and heavy with emotions and when Jens looks up, his eyes are filled with  tears, not yet ready to fall. A heavy feeling overcomes Jens, seeing Lucas so sad and overwhelmed with guilt. He wants to reach out, comfort him in any way but he is not sure if Lucas needs that right now. Instead, he tries to recall a conversation he had with Moyo once.

“Lucas, it's not your responsibility to take care of your mother. You did the best you could do in a situation you shouldn't even be put in. I'm sure your mom knows that and wouldn't want you to beat yourself up about something that isn't even your fault. You could not have prevented your mom from getting an episode.”

“It is my fault though, Jens. Don't you understand? She had a manic episode because of me, because she missed me and because I haven't been there to take care of her when she needs me. I –”

The tears have started to roll down Lucas' face. Jens reaches across the distance to take Lucas' hand in his, making him stop mid-sentence, eyes shining with vulnerability.

“Luc. Stop.” Jens tries to make his voice soft and understanding, but firm enough that his words will get through to Lucas. “She is not your job. She is your mom. You shouldn't have to be there just in case she has an episode. It's her illness, not yours. Whatever triggered her episode, it wasn't your fault. You shouldn't be her caretaker.”

Lucas meets his gaze, looking conflicted and looks down again at where Jens rests his hand on his. Jens is about to take his hand away, interpreting this look as discomfort but then Lucas is slowly turning his hand around so they lay palm to palm and gently intertwines their fingers. He shudders at the cold feeling of Lucas' simple silver ring on his skin and his heart starts beating faster but he simply squeezes Lucas' hand softly and sends him a reassuring smile.

“That's what Kes is always saying,” Lucas admits quietly and with his free hand he brushes away the fallen tears on his cheek. Jens smiles at that, who knew Lucas could be this stubborn.

“And we are both very right. This is too much for any teenager to handle.” This wins Jens a soft scoff but there is also a small smile tugging at Lucas' lips so he counts that as a victory.

“How do you know so much about this?”

Jens thinks about how much he wants to say because it doesn't really portray him from his best side but Lucas has been so honest with him and it's the least he could be in return. “Well, I don't know if you know this, but last year Robbe's mom got admitted into a mental health facility. It was pretty bad, I think even worse for Robbe. He had to stay over at my place a lot of times, even before that happened and even though we spend a lot of time together, I didn't really…, well I didn't really notice how much Robbe was suffering. And then the shit with Sander happened and I realized what a shitty friend I have been the last year or so. And then when Moyo told us that his mom is also bipolar I was so shocked that I didn't even know that about one of my best friends. I tried my best to make up for that, tried to show my support, googled a lot and asked Moyo if I could ask him some questions. He basically told me what I told you.”

Lucas' prolonged silence is making him a bit anxious and when he is finally meeting his gaze he looks at him with an expression Jens is not sure how to interpret. But then Lucas smiles fondly, squeezes his hand and says: “You are an amazing friend, Jens.”

Jens has to duck his head to hide the small smile, pleased that Lucas still sees him like this. He has never been good at accepting genuine compliments, ones that are about his personality instead of his appearance. Mostly because he is probably still struggling with the guilt of not being there for his best friend and the whole mess with Jana. “Thanks,” he mumbles softly.

Lucas doesn't respond and the silence stretches on for a few peaceful minutes. They swing gently back and force on the swing, both of them seeming to have no intention of letting go of the other's hand.

“I'm sorry for how I reacted when you came to talk to me yesterday. I should've let you explain. I was…, well, I guess my pride was quite hurt that you stood me up,” Jens admits after a while with a small deprecating laugh and looks over at Lucas even though he is worried about the reaction.

“Jens, you have no idea how much I wanted to go on that date with you. I was over the moon when you asked me. Believe me, the last thing I wanted was to ghost you, I'm the one who is supposed to apologize here,” Lucas says disbelieving, as if Jens doubting Lucas' feelings for him was the most stupidest thing he heard today.

It makes Jens smile uncontrollably, unable to hide it away from Lucas fast enough. He gets up from the swing to stand in front of Lucas, takes his other hand in his as well and pulls at his arms, motioning Lucas to stand up. Lucas looks up at him smiling but with questioning eyes. Jens simply pulls again and doesn't step back when Lucas enters his space. Their faces are close and Jens is tempted to close the distance when his eyes track the motion of Lucas's lips falling open slightly. But then he tears his eyes away from Lucas's lips and moves on to his eyes. They are still a bit wet from the tears and it makes his blue eyes sparkle like sunlight on a clear mountain lake.

“So, about that date. Wanna have a second chance at that tomorrow?” He can see Lucas trace the movement of his lips with his eyes and it makes Jens' pulse quicken. When Lucas finally meets his gaze again he looks hypnotized and a little breathless he asks: “Sorry, what did you say?” It makes Jens laugh, happiness overflowing with how obviously Lucas is distracted by him. He is scared that Lucas is hurt by the laugh he couldn't stop from bubbling out of him but he just looks up at him with a smile that is so beautiful it makes Jens' heart skip a beat. He lets go of one of Lucas' hand to brush a stray curl away from his face and it has the desired effect of the lovely blush spreading over Lucas' cheeks.

“Do you want to go on a date with me tomorrow?” Jens repeats and lets his hand fall to back of Lucas' neck, gently caressing him with his thumb. The smile he gets in return is almost as blinding as the very first time he asked Lucas that question. It makes Jens feel giddy with anticipation.

“Yes. I absolutely want to go on a date with you tomorrow,” Lucas answers and even though Jens was pretty confident that the answer would be yes, the actual confirmation makes him even giddier. This time it's his eyes that can't leave Lucas' lips and he finds himself closing the distance as if pulled in by an irresistible force. Jens' nose brushes against Lucas' and he feels his eyes fluttering shut when he feels a warm gush of breath across his lips. The moment their lips finally touch Jens lets out a quiet satisfied sigh and he barely has time to feel embarrassed about it, because Lucas simply puts his arms around Jens' shoulders and pulls him even closer. The movement of his lips against Jens' is soft yet urgent, careful yet demanding and Jens melts into his arms. He buries his hand in Lucas' hair and gives it an experimental little pull. The reaction he gets nearly makes Jens forget that they are still in public. And even though the playground is empty he gives Lucas a few lingering pecks before he takes a step back, ignoring the quiet sound of protest from the other boy, moving the hand from Lucas' hair to gently stroke his cheekbone.

He can barely take his eyes of Lucas' kiss swollen lips but he knows that he should go now, otherwise he won't have the strength to let go of Lucas. “I should go,” he whispers quietly into the little space between their mouths. It looks like Lucas wants to protest but then he purely gives him a last gentle kiss, nothing more than a soft press of lips and steps out of Jens hold. “I'll see you tomorrow then?”

Jens smiles and nods, takes a step back as well, their hands still holding on to each other not wanting to let go. With each step back he feels their palms sliding together, then their fingers and lastly their thumbs before Jens pulls back for good, making him trip a little bit on his last step back. He sends Lucas a giddy smile, not feeling even slightly embarrassed and Lucas lets out a small huff of laughter, shaking his head slightly before he turns his back on Jens and walks in the direction they came from. Jens watches Lucas' retreating back for a few more seconds before he makes his way home as well. Somehow, he can't stop smiling for the rest of the day.

#vds #van der stoffels #Jens stoffels #lucas van der heijden #my writing #a huge thank you again for azozzoni for inspiring this #I guess trigger warning? #Lucas briefly explains his mom's manic episode and blames himself

[sylvie-writes]

Lonely Weekend

a/n: this one is quite the rollercoaster. also a quick psa.

A. I’ve never written for Ari Levinson nor have I seen the movie sooooo...

B. I just wrote this to give y’all a little something and it’s not rlly proofread.

C. And finally, yes this is another Kacey Musgraves song. Just feedin my addiction.

It's a lo, it's a lo, it's a lonely weekend

It's a lo, it's a lo, it's a lonely feelin' without you

 It had been a few months since you’d seen Ari. Almost every night, you’d try to call him despite the crazy difference in time that separated you both. Unfortunately, four out of the seven times you would call, the answer dial would echo in your ear. With a defeated sigh, you’d place the handset back on the receiver, going back to whatever was keeping you busy at the time.

 About a month ago, Ari had called you, catching you off guard as he was never the one to initiate the call.

 “Guess what, sweetheart! I’m coming home!”

 His words brought tears of joy to your eyes, causing your pitiful sniffles to travel through the phone.

 “Oh sweet girl, don’t cry! I’ll see you soon, okay?” 

 After the longest four days of your life, you dashed out of work and straight to the airport. You waited and waited at the terminal for an eternity, puffs of smoke suffocating your nostrils and loudly spoken words surrounding your mind. When you caught sight of Ari’s gorgeous face, all of the nuisances from before didn’t matter, and you practically ran through the crowd of exiting passengers just to run into his arms. 

 Ari chuckled and dropped his bags, spinning you around in his arms and ignoring the annoyed huffs of the remaining passengers who were trying to pass you both. He pressed his lips against yours in a kiss you both savored. 

For a good month, everything seemed right as rain between you and Ari. Things honestly couldn’t have gone better, yet when you and Ari started to fall apart, it happened in small and unnoticeable increments. 

 Monday, I was gone, and Tuesday, you were working late

Wednesday went to hell, and Thursday kinda had the wait, yeah

So far everything imaginable that could go wrong, went wrong this very week. Reality hit you like a freight train, knocking you out of your blissful little bubble with Ari. 

Monday, you had left for a business meeting a few hours away, something you honestly didn’t want to show up for. You spent more time driving than you did in the actual meeting, which was aggravating as they could have sent someone else in your place. You went home that night, hoping to have Ari hold you in his arms, yet he was knocked out cold in bed and you didn’t want to bother him. 

The next day, Ari had gone into work as you stayed home, the two of you switching places pretty much. Around noon, Ari had called, saying he’d be working late. It did hurt you just a bit as you had planned a nice dinner for the man. You had even spent all morning preparing food and such. On the phone, you acted as if everything was okay, but this was the last straw and you broke down into tears. 

Wednesday, you got some news that you had been laid off. It seemed so surreal and you were just a walking zombie for the rest of the day. The most you had said all day was “yeah.” Ari was a bit worried, but he gave you your space and allowed you to carry on. If only he had seen how broken you were before he rushed out to work.

You spent a majority of Thursday in a weird funk, after all you had been laid off for heaven knows how long. It wasn’t that you were displaying anger or sadness, you were just numb, a blank expression on your face as you went along. Ari had left early that morning and you hadn’t even noticed to be honest. Actually, you hadn’t even noticed it was Thursday yet. 

 Friday, you were leavin', goin' out of town again

I should see what's goin' on, only got a couple friends

“Hey sunshine, how are you feelin?”

 Ari kissed your bare shoulder as you continued to wash the dishes, a small smile on your face. The man wrapped his arms around your waist, placing kisses up your neck, his beard tickling you slightly. Yesterday, you eventually cried out all of your feelings and just accepted your fate as it was handed to you on a silver platter. Now, you were just happy to spend some time with Ari.

 You quickly dried your hands on a dish towel and turned in his embrace, running your hands through his long hair. 

 “Oh Ari. What are we going to do, my love?”

 He sighed and placed a gentle kiss on your nose.

 “We will figure it out, Sweets.” 

 Ari pulled you closer to his chest, resting his lips by your ear.

 “Oh honey, I hate to do this to you, but I have to leave. Tonight.”

 Your heart stopped for a minute and you just nodded, some silent tears streaming down your face and onto his neck. Ari felt terrible, but there was nothing he could say or do that would help. Instead, he just rocked you in his arms until you started to nod off on his shoulder. Gently, he scooped you and took you to bed. Ari had to leave in a few hours, so he dedicated to join you under the covers, spooning your fragile body, much tinier in comparison to his broad physique. 

 It's a lo, it's a lo, it's a lonely weekend (so lonely)

It's a lo, it's a lo, it's a lonely feelin' without you

  Ari left that night as he had said, kissing you with a passion and then leaving, being pulled away by work. You stayed curled up in bed, even changing into Ari’s most recent tee shirt, snuggling up into his pillow as well. Needless to say, you wished he was there with you. Being in his arms felt like nothing could get to you, whether that be bad news or bad friends. You felt protected and loved when you were with Ari. 

 Guess everybody else is out tonight (out tonight)

Guess I'm hangin' by myself, but I don't mind (I don't mind)

Saturday rolled around and you were yet to hear from Ari. He should have called you as he was still in America, just a week long business trip, that’s all. You moped along, pulling yourself together even though there was nothing to do. Your friends that lived in town were most likely busy, after all it was the weekend and you should have been busy too. It did get a bit depressing when your negative thoughts were the only thing keeping you company. They made you realize that you were going to be all alone when you needed people the most. 

 It's a lo, it's a lo, it's a lonely weekend, yeah

I got a million things to do, but I haven't done a single one, no

And if my sister lived in town, I know that we'd be doin' something fun

 Some would say you had responsibilities to take care of, but you honestly didn’t feel like doing any of them. None of those chores involved seeing your loved ones, instead leaving you subject to the degrading voices in your head. One thing was for sure, and that was you weren’t going to be tending to those at the moment. With nothing to do, you tried calling your sister, the one who always made your day, just by a simple phone call. Unfortunately, just like Ari, when you needed her most, she wasn’t there to answer. 

 I keep lookin' at my phone, puttin' it back down

There's a little part of me that's got the fear of missin' out, and

It's a lo, it's a lo, it's a lonely weekend (so lonely)

It's a lo, it's a lo, it's a lonely feelin' without you

 You sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the phone as if it would ring from intimidation. Minutes passed and no one called. The little part of you that had hope was crushed and you just leaned back onto the bed, sighing that no one called. Maybe they had forgotten about you. At least that is what your thoughts left you to believe. You knew they weren’t most likely true, so you just shut your eyes, hoping to take a nap and drift off to some lovely dreamland.

 I guess everybody else is out tonight (out tonight)

Guess I'm hangin' by myself, but I don't mind (I don't mind)

 Everyone was gone, out having fun. You had yourself, and that was enough for now.

You could manage, you’d done it before. But it was different now. Things were tough and you wanted someone to talk to.

But all you had was you and that was enough.

 Right?

 It's a lo, it's a lo, it's a lonely weekend, yeah

Even if you got somebody on your mind

It's alright to be alone sometimes, sometimes

 Ari was on your mind, even when you woke from your nap, he was still there. His adorable smile engraved into your mind. You woke up, seeing the sun had set and it was not around nine. With a bit of a fresh mindset, you left the bed and moved to the couch. To pass time, you decided to learn solitaire. It was a last resort, but it was better than taking another nap.

 It's a lo, it's a lo, it's a lonely weekend (so lonely)

It's a lo, it's a lo, it's a lonely feelin' without you

I guess everybody else is out tonight (out tonight)

Guess I'm hangin' by myself, but I don't mind (I don't mind)

 After spending an hour attempting to learn solitaire, you tiredly gave up and turned to the tv, flipping through the channels looking for any form of entertainment. As you did so the front door creaked open, although you had just assumed the sound was on tv. Suddenly, a warm hand ran over your sweater clad arm, making you jump in your seat. You snapped your head in the culprit’s direction, your stern expression softening when you saw Ari’s bright smile. His face was illuminated by the tv’s light giving you a clear pathway to his lips. In no time, you crashed your lips against his, grabbing at his shirt and practically pulling his upper half over the back of the couch. Ari pulled back laughing, taking one hand to smooth your hair as you lovingly gazed up at him.

 The man swung his legs over the couch in a swift jumping movement. You giggled at his actions, pulling yourself into his lap for a much needed hug. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m here now.”

 It's a lo, it's a lo, it's a lonely weekend

It's a lo, it's a lo, it's a lonely weekend

 Or so you had thought...

#ari levinson #ari levinson x reader #chris evans x reader