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mrs-kmikaelson · 9 months

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Should've Known Better

Pairing: Klaus Mikaelson x reader, Mikaelsons x sister-in-law!reader, Kol Mikaelson x reader (if you squint), Marcel Gerard x mother-figure!reader Summary: After a thousand years of marriage, everything comes crumbling down, taking you with it. But you shouldn't have been so surprised; you knew that Klaus was fire, and you knew that fire burned. You should've known better. Warnings: long, lots of angst and tears, cheating, (do i put tw for violence? like it's tvd, ofc there's violence), no promises of a happy ending Words: 7.8K

Masterlist | Part 2

a/n: not an update for the tribrid yet, but i come bearing a peace offering. this is the only one for now, but i have an idea for a part two if you guys want one. also, tell me if you want to be on just my klaus taglist or my tvdu one.

In the past, you’d been told that your relationship with Klaus didn’t make any sense. You ignored them. They don’t know us, you thought. They don’t understand what we’ve gone through. And that, for the most part, was true.

You were turned with the Mikaelsons when you were only twenty-one years old. You and Klaus had stuck together since then. Through all the trials and tribulations, you two were inseparable. The daggering of his siblings, the hunter’s curse, his enemies coming after you, trying to break his curse—you were there every step of the way. Nothing could make you leave him. In your mind, it didn’t matter what obstacle life threw at you; you’d beat it. You beat it every single time.

Later, you realized that you should’ve known this would happen sooner.

You should’ve known that it was too good to be true.

You could still remember walking into your shared apartment that day in the nineties. You were on top of the tallest mountain, feeling like you were on top of the world. Until suddenly you fell, plummeting down to the ground as the life you’d built fell with you. But that wasn’t the right word to use. You did not fall that day.

You were pushed.

“Nik, I got the-” you cut yourself off, dropping the bags in your hands to the ground. Something in them cracked, but you couldn’t hear a thing. Your world went silent; it was as if the only cracking you could hear was the cracking of your own heart.

Klaus quickly got up, speeding to you. While he was able to get his pants on quickly, there was nothing he could do to hide the blonde in his bed- your bed.

“Y/N, love, it’s not-”

“It’s not what, Klaus?” Tears that you didn’t even know were there raced down your cheeks. You saw him wince when you addressed him. You never called him that.

“This is not what it looks like.”

“Oh, really? So you didn’t just fuck this girl in our bed?” At that, his eyes went downcast. You felt your hands shake. He had no explanation to give you and you knew that; it wouldn’t matter if he had one, anyway. You weren’t gonna stick around to listen to it.

You sped out of your shared apartment as fast as you could, not caring if any human onlookers saw. That day, you swore to yourself that you were done.

You should’ve known better.

That day, you ended up running to Elijah, hoping he would give you refuge, but you knew now that it was wishful thinking. It didn’t matter that Klaus and Elijah were fighting. It didn’t matter how close you and the nobleman were, how much he claimed to care for you. At the end of the day, his brother would still mean more to him.

So, that same day, Elijah brought you right back to Klaus.

You refused to talk to him, but he begged, and begged, and begged. He promised, and promised, and promised. He showered you with affection and more sweet-nothings than he’d ever given you. So, you thought to yourself, he’s trying. He just made a dumb mistake. We all deserve second chances.

You kick yourself now for ever being so stupid. But, at the time, all you could think about was the centuries upon centuries of love the two of you shared. It felt like a crime to throw it all away over one mistake.

But it wasn’t just one mistake.

“Y/N, love, please don’t do this-” Klaus reached a hand out to grab your arm, but you shoved him away. You stormed out of the house, your husband following right behind you. It was pouring outside, but you didn’t care. There was a much more dangerous storm brewing inside of you. You’d prefer to be out in the rain than to ever be in that house with him again.

“Y/N, please-”

“Get the hell away from me.”

“Y/N-”

You spun on your heel and exploded, “Get the hell away from me, Klaus!” The rain hid it all so well, but you were both crying.

“Please, I can’t lose you.” You finally broke down, letting out a sob. You fell down to the ground as Klaus tried desperately to catch you, ending up kneeling on the ground next to you.

You tried to hard to be strong, not to cry, but you couldn’t help it. You were smart; you knew better than to let a man do this to you. But, when it came to Klaus, the man you’d spent your entire life with, your heart overpowered your head.

Your voice cracked with every word you spoke. “You said this would never happen again.”

“Love-”

“No, you promised me, Nik, you said never again.” He opened his mouth to speak, but you didn’t let him get a word in. “You said you would never put me through this again-”

“Y/N-”

“It’s been all of ten years, and here we are, in the same position you put us in last time-” You cut yourself off sobbing as your voice failed you. You buried your head in your hands. The heartbreak you felt was ineffable, so much more intense than the last time. When you said your vows all those years ago, so high on happiness, you never could’ve imagined that you’d one day feel like this—that Klaus would make you feel like this.

He didn’t say anything else. There was nothing to say. There was no defence for what he was doing to you. So instead, he wrapped his arms around you, and being tired, you let him.

It was funny, almost. Even as he engulfed you in his warmth, even after he took you inside and placed you by the fireplace, you still felt so cold.

After the second time, you left him. You woke up the morning after, wrapped in his arms, and you left without looking back. Leaving him almost hurt just as much as catching him in the act, but you knew this was what was best. You needed to do this.

This time, you didn’t go to Elijah. You cut off all communication with the Mikaelsons completely, even though they were both blowing up your phone. After the first fifty phone calls, you threw it in a dumpster.

Being away from Klaus made you feel better, but you still didn’t feel like you. For a long time, you felt broken, incomplete, so used. You didn’t know who you were without him. But you got better.

Slowly, you built yourself back up, building walls around your heart so that no one could ever do that to you again. But if Klaus was the big bad wolf, then you may as well have just been a little piggy because, when he found you, he blew those walls down effortlessly as if they were made of straw.

See, Klaus Mikaelson was like a whirlpool: try and swim away all you want, but he would just keep sucking you in until you’d eventually die.

You should’ve known better.

You walked into your apartment with a kick in your step. It was a good day; you were happy. But the smile on your face dropped when you saw the figure standing in your home.

You tried to go back out through the door, but Klaus was faster, speeding to you and closing it shut, caging you between the door and him. You let out a shaky breath, unable to turn around as you rested your forehead against the door, tears welling in your eyes.

It’d been three years since you last saw him, the longest you’d ever gone without seeing him, yet he still made you feel things that no one else on earth could.

For a moment, you were both mute until you broke the silence, whispering, “What are you doing here?”

You heard him swallow as if he was scared, but you were the one that was terrified. Klaus would never lay a hand on you, but he could hurt you in ways that were so much worse, so at that moment, you feared for your life. Because you knew that, with the right words, he could get you to fall into his trap again, and going through all this again would kill you.

“I-” he paused, like he was gathering his thoughts. You thanked whatever god was out there that he didn’t make you face him. “I knew you were here, I just- I wanted you to have time to yourself, but, Y/N, it’s time to come home now.”

Your lips quivered as you struggled to hold the tears. He made it sound like this was a game, and maybe to him it was, but it wasn’t like that for you. This wasn’t a break that you’d just “come back” from; you were done, you promised yourself that.

You shook your head, but Klaus spoke before you could even utter your protests. “I can break my curse.” Your eyes involuntarily went wide, not having expected that. You were just about to spin around, but he turned you first. As soon as your eyes met his, you couldn’t help the tear that fell down your face.

It was like you forgot how beautiful he could be.

He looked to be having somewhat of the same reaction as you, scanning over you as if couldn’t tell that you were real. And honestly, you even felt like pinching yourself, too.

His voice got softer. “There’s a girl in Virginia, the doppelgänger.” He paused to let you say something, but you were so taken aback by everything that’d happened after you stepped into your apartment that you were practically speechless. How ironic. You’d spent months agonizing over all you’d say to him if you ever saw him again, but now that you were, you had nothing to say.

“I am so close, Y/N,” he whispered. His hands cupped your cheek so gently that a stranger would’ve never guessed that this man had destroyed entire villages, that he even destroyed you, too. When he rested his forehead on yours, the tears that you were trying so hard to hold in came falling like your eyes were a waterfall. “I can- I can wake the rest of the family. Rebekah, Kol, Finn- I know how much you miss them all.”

Your heart tightened in your chest because you did miss them, but you forgot just how much you missed him.

“We can be a family again, Y/N.” You screwed your eyes shut. Your husband was a smart man. Whether the tears in his eyes were real or if he was just a great actor, you couldn’t be sure, but he knew exactly what your weak-spots were and he was using them against you.

This wasn’t fair, you thought. This wasn’t fair at all.

“Please, let us be a family again.” You opened your eyes, biting your lip to prevent the sobs from escaping. “I love you.” Oh, you should’ve kept your eyes closed. You should’ve sped out the door the second you saw him. You should’ve ran farther, tried harder to disappear so that he would’ve never found you.

But none of that mattered.

Because, just like that, you folded.

After a week, you ended up leaving with Klaus. You helped him with his plans to become a hybrid, and he was trying, you could tell he was really trying, but your marriage wasn’t the same. Whenever you kissed him, you couldn’t help but wonder, did she kiss him like this? When you made love, you wondered, was he so tender and loving with her, too? Were you even as special as he told you that you were?

There was only so much trying he could do. You knew the damage was done. You now had insecurities that no amount of sweet words could ever get rid of. You were such a confident woman, but you didn’t feel that way, not anymore.

Your mirror was cracked, sure, but you could still see yourself. You still saw a future, a bright future. You, Klaus, Elijah, Rebekah, Kol, Finn—you could all be a family, just like Klaus told you that day. You could see it.

So you stayed.

Eventually, they were all woken up. For a while, things felt normal, like when you’d been human. But you were starting to learn that good things never lasted long enough.

When Esther came back, she tried to kill you all. You defeated her, as a family, but no matter how hard you tried to convince them, your siblings all left. This family’s broken, Kol said to you. You’d best get out while you can, Y/N.

You should’ve listened to him.

But you didn’t, and you’d later wonder if things would’ve been different. If you took Kol’s offer to come with him, to leave your husband and travel the world, then would you have been happy?

You tell yourself you’d never know, but you knew deep down that you would’ve been happy, that at least you wouldn’t have been devastated.

It was only you and Rebekah; you were the only ones that could stick by Klaus. In that way, you two were one in the same, two sides of the same coin. You’d always be living in the same hell, trying to get to heaven by being loyal to him, but little did you both know, the longer you stayed, the deeper down into hell you went. Until heaven was unobtainable.

For a while, things were okay. You and Klaus were okay—God, you were just getting to okay. And then Kol died.

That took the cake. Nothing you’d ever felt was so painful, not even what your soulmate did to you, or the man who was supposed to be your soulmate.

Suddenly, you were wishing you could turn back time, wishing you could’ve gone with Kol when he asked you to, wishing you could’ve spent more time with him—you just got him back.

After Kol’s death, it was like the idea of a family became unobtainable, too.

You were in pieces, but Rebekah stayed strong. She handled Klaus while you couldn’t, because wasn’t that your job? What else were you here for—what else were either of you here for?

You wanted to kill Jeremy Gilbert, to rip him and Elena to shreds and to make the Salvatores watch. You wanted them to feel even an inch of your pain, but Klaus didn’t let you, and you resented him for it.

The way he behaved after Kol’s death was unforgivable to you, but you were able to see past it because what was his death if it wasn’t a wake up call? You didn’t want to take this life for granted; you didn’t want to wake up one day, regretting not spending time with your husband because he was dead.

So you repaired the bond that was severed after Kol. You held him and he held you just as tight, if not tighter. Neither of you wanted to lose the other. So you worked for it, you worked for something better, you worked to be something like what you were before—to be anything like what you were before.

But, oh, you should’ve known better.

You didn’t walk in on Klaus cheating on you a third time. He confessed to you, tears in his eyes. He begged, and made promises, and begged, and begged, and cried, and cried, and he did the whole routine, but you were silent throughout it all.

You didn’t cry. You felt like your body was out of tears. God knows you’d cried an ocean away for Klaus, for this family, for the family you could’ve had.

You didn’t say anything, but you knew better now. You weren’t gonna run away, you’d learned from your mistakes. Instead, you moved into a different room in the house. The flowers, the jewelry, the sweet words—oh, all of the things that’d made you swoon in the past didn’t faze you. You’d been force-fed so many sweet words that you now had a tooth ache that no doctor could fix.

You didn’t talk to Klaus for weeks, but when the time came, you followed him to New Orleans. You were practically lifeless, but when Klaus brought you into a bar and you were met with the sight of the boy you took in, the boy you thought died, it was like someone took a defibrillator to your chest.

Hugging Marcel for the first time in almost a century was like CPR. Is this a play? you wondered. Is this Klaus’ strategy? But at that moment, it didn’t matter. Once again, you were reminded of Kol. You needed to cherish your loved ones while you still could, and so it didn’t matter if Klaus was using Marcel to get you to crack, you’d appreciate it, anyway.

But you should’ve known better. You should’ve known that you couldn’t be happy.

When you got to the plantation late at night, the house Klaus insisted you stay in, you were confused to see a brunette woman standing on the stairs.

You furrowed your brows while the woman’s went up. She looked like a deer in headlights. Before you could ask her any questions, your sister came into view. She looked almost as shocked as you.

“Rebekah?”

She ignored you. “You’re here,” she said, surprise lacing her voice and an unknown emotion in her eyes.

“Yes, I am.” You glanced in between Rebekah and the brunette, starting to become unnerved with their expressions. You didn’t know why she was surprised that you were here; it was you who should’ve been surprised at her arrival.

You should’ve known better.

“Elijah- Elijah didn’t tell me you’d be here.”

You only got more confused as she went on. “Elijah’s here?”

She ignored you again, scoffing under her breath, shaking her head at the ground. “My brother’s a fool,” she muttered. And only then did you realize that the emotion in her eyes was pity.

You looked back to the brown-haired woman, instantly realizing why she was looking at you like you were going to attack her. Quickly, you looked away before you actually did. You didn’t say the exact words out loud, but they knew that you knew.

“What is she doing here?” Your voice was sharp; you saw the girl flinch out of the corner of her eye.

When Rebekah looked up at you, you felt your heart drop. She looked at you like you were the last to be let in on the secret, like she knew she was about to single-handedly crush you. Softly, she told you, “Listen.” And so you did.

And then every other time your heart broke felt like nothing. Nothing could compare to the utter shock you felt, the pain. Because you heard a little heartbeat, and you knew the implication Rebekah was making.

You looked up to the girl to see that she was about to cry. That almost made you lose it. Who was she to cry? you thought.

You looked at Rebekah to see tears in her eyes, too. “How?” You asked, but she didn’t get a chance to reply.

“Niklaus is a hybrid, Y/N.” You turned to see Elijah slowly walking into the room. He looked careful, almost, like anything he said could set you off. “He’s not a full vampire-”

“And she’s human,” you cut him off, humourlessly chuckling. The human girl gave him a baby.

You couldn’t help but wonder, if you had a baby while you were human, would your marriage have ended up this way?

But none of that mattered. Right now, it felt like nothing mattered. Just as you thought there was nothing more Klaus could do to you, he gets his one night stand pregnant. Now she wasn’t so much of a one night stand anymore, was she?

Your siblings were looking at you like you were a china doll, like their brother had just thrown you and they were waiting for you to break. But your face was blank. On the inside, however, there was an entire hurricane taking place, but it was like your body refused to release any of it. Oh, you wanted to break down, you wanted to so badly, but it felt impossible.

There was nothing more to say- nothing you cared to hear, anyway. So you slowly walked up the stairs, heading for a guest room, ignoring Rebekah and Elijah’s calls. The blonde started crying, and if you’d looked down, then you would’ve seen Elijah burning a hole into the ground with his gaze.

You didn’t want to look at either of them, especially not your husband’s right hand man. You were growing to resent Elijah, even though there was a time when you were the best of friends. Maybe if he hadn’t brought you back to Klaus that day in 1996, then you could’ve been spared this horrible, horrible feeling. But no. Any relationship you had with a Mikaelson was trumped by the relationship they had with Klaus.

Of course, they were here, you thought. Of course, they come running back to him the second he does something stupid.

But how mad at them could you really be?

Haven’t you always been doing the same thing?

After you’d gone up stairs, you could remember popping open an old bottle of whiskey and drinking until your vision was hazy. You couldn’t remember when you fell asleep, but when you awoke, Klaus was right there in bed next to you.

You ignored your thoughts, questioning the nerve of him to get in bed with you after what you’d found out, and walked out of the room.

But you didn’t feel as angry as the night before. You felt numb, almost. The last time you felt so empty was after your parents died a thousand years ago. It didn’t necessarily bother you, though. Feeling nothing felt better than feeling everything.

So you let it be. You showered, got dressed, and left the house. Rebekah and Elijah stared at you as you left, but you didn’t give them the time of day. You went and met Marcel for breakfast like everything was fine, went shopping, then you came back home and climbed into bed. When you woke up, Klaus was there again, but you ignored it and continued with your routine.

For three weeks, you didn’t say a word to your husband. He could barely even try to speak to you; you were gone all day everyday and you were asleep by the time he came home. Rebekah would try to make conversation whenever she saw you, but she only received short answers. Elijah didn’t even try; something told you he felt guilty, and you hoped he did. The pregnant werewolf whose name you learned was Hayley would tense up every time you crossed paths. Once, she tried to apologize to you, but it was as if she were talking to a wall because you didn’t give her the slightest bit of attention.

While you weren’t communicating with the people you lived with, when you went out into the Quarter, you were a different person. You were lively, and confident, and funny, and you didn’t look like a woman whose husband cheated on her. Marcel was constantly introducing you to people; you were always surrounded by people, and while you felt so alone at first, as time progressed, you stopped feeling so lonely.

Suddenly, it was like that hole in you started to heal. The hole was still there, but it was getting better.

One day, one of your new friends introduced you to this boy, this young, newly turned boy. And, looking at him, you felt something other than despair: you felt like you were human again. Talking to him made you feel things that you forgot existed, things Klaus used to make you feel on a daily basis.

This boy was good. He was pure, and happy, and full of life, even though he was dead.

It felt wrong at first. Klaus was the only man you had ever been with. But perhaps that was why you liked this boy so much: he reminded you of a side of your lover that had been long dormant, the side of Klaus you fell in love with.

You never slept with him. You never even kissed him. All you did was feel something.

But that didn’t matter.

Oh, you should’ve known better.

So much better.

You opened the door, your bag immediately falling to the ground at the sight you were met with. “No- no, no, no.” You sped into the living room, falling to your knees. Your tears fell with you.

In front of you, the sweet, sweet boy you were starting to feel something for was lying dead in his own apartment. You wished it wasn’t real, but his body was grey, veins all over him. With the hole in his chest, he didn’t look so peaceful anymore.

You cupped your hand over your mouth in shock, silently sobbing. You were so distraught that you didn’t even notice the footsteps behind you.

“I ripped his heart out.” You turned your head to see none other than your husband standing a few feet away from you, the red organ in his hand. While your vision was blurred, you could still see the quiet anger on his face, even though he seemed emotionless. He dropped Leo’s heart on to the ground like it was nothing.

Suddenly, a fire that you thought died out alit in your body. You all but sneered, “What is wrong with you?”

Klaus humourlessly chuckled. It was almost like you couldn’t recognize him, but oh, he had never looked more like himself. “What’s wrong with me?” He echoed. “What’s wrong with me is my wife has been sneaking around behind my back.”

You scoffed in utter disbelief and shot up from the ground. “Oh, so I’m the villain now? I’m sorry, saint Klaus, I didn’t know you were so innocent.”

“Don’t start this with me.”

You snapped. “You started this! I have been living in that house with you and your pregnant werewolf, leaving you to your own devices, but the second I try to be happy, I’m the one in the wrong?”

“Y/N-”

“No, I- I can’t even believe what I’m hearing right now.” A laugh escaped from your lips, full of darkness. “I have not done any damage to this marriage.” You pointed at him. “You’re the one who broke your vows, not me. Forgive me for wanting to clutch at any happiness I could have after you took it all from me.”

Klaus pointed right back at you. “Our marriage isn’t over, Y/N- it will never be. I will never let you forget that.”

You shook your head. “This isn’t a marriage anymore.” Klaus’ mouth opened to protest, but you kept going. Everything you held in and didn’t say was coming up like bile in your throat that you desperately wanted to vomit. “You have destroyed this marriage, Klaus! Hell, you destroyed me.” You pointed to yourself, more tears coming to your eyes. “You have cheated not once but three times, and you got the last one pregnant! But the second I- what? The second I so much as talk to a man, you go and rip his heart out and get mad at me? Do you hear how insane that sounds?”

His jaw clenched, and maybe there was some sign of regret or remorse in his eyes, but you honestly couldn’t care less about his feelings at the moment. “Y/N-” he started, but you didn’t dare let him finish.

“No, it’s you who threw a thousand years down the drain, not me.” You took a step closer to him until you were chest to chest and you were looking right into his eyes. Maybe this would’ve ended in a kiss in the past, but your relationship was no longer the same. You grit your teeth.“I will never let you forget that.”

You then sped out of the apartment, running and running and not stopping until you were in an area you no longer recognized. Once you stopped, you let all of your tears fall, resting a hand on your chest and running the other through your hair. Your heart and your head were both pounding. Every time you thought Klaus couldn’t go any lower, he proved you wrong.

So, standing in the middle of nowhere, you grieved the loss of that poor boy, and at the same time, you grieved the loss of the man who was once your best friend. You grieved the loss of your marriage.

Because this was more than just killing a boy.

In doing this, Klaus killed another part of your marriage when you weren’t sure there was even anything left to kill.

After crying your heart out, you returned to the plantation and went straight to sleep. For a week, you stayed in bed, in spite of Rebekah who came knocking on your door every morning. One time, she didn’t leave so quickly after you remained mute. She sat on your bed, demanding that you eat something. When, throughout all her best efforts, you stayed silent, she threw the glass of blood onto the ground, breaking down and sobbing. Tears ran down her face as she pleaded to you, but you only stared at the wall, expressionless.

She apologized to you in between in her tears, even though it wasn’t her fault, even though you were only this way because of Klaus. But, oh, wasn’t that Rebekah’s specialty? Wasn’t that yours—stuck paying for the sins of the hybrid for the rest of your lives?

She cried, and cried, and cried, until she eventually left the room, too exhausted to keep dancing the same dance. She didn’t come back again.

You never cleaned the blood on the floor from the glass she threw. If anything, you hoped it soaked in and ruined the mahogany floors of this god awful house. It wasn’t long before you wouldn’t have to stare at that stain anymore because Klaus had come to tell you that you were leaving. You’d all be going to the Abattoir, he said.

You were confused; that was where Marcel stayed. So, for the first time in a week, you spoke. When you found out about the altercation they had, you recoiled. Both disgust and shock were on your face: disgusted at your husband’s behaviour and shocked with how he was treating Marcel.

You felt like screaming at him, but you didn’t have enough energy. Instead, you just stared at him. With your voice just barely above a whisper, you told him, That is your son, Klaus. You hoped that conveyed everything else you wanted to say. And you knew your message was received when Klaus walked out of your room without another word.

When you arrived at the compound, little changed. You and your husband still didn’t talk. Soon, when your siblings arrived, you didn’t speak to them either. Life went on this way for a long time.

Until Hayley gave birth.

Oh, life had felt so slow, but suddenly it started moving so fast.

When you first laid your eyes on little Hope, tears came to your eyes. She looked just like her father, you thought. And while you had never wanted anything to do with this, what Klaus had done, you couldn’t find it in yourself to condemn an innocent child.

Maybe Rebekah and Elijah would pay for their brother’s mistakes. Maybe you would, too. But you’d be damned if you let that baby suffer solely for being a Mikaelson.

Even if it meant you’d suffer the most.

The night Klaus came to you, you didn’t greet him, but you didn’t look at him so scathingly, either. In the courtyard, he asked something of you that’d change the rest of your life.

“Y/N, I know we’re not on the best of terms- I know I haven’t been a faithful husband, nor a good one,” he admitted, glancing down as if he were nervous before looking back up to your eyes. This was serious, and he wanted you to know that. “I know you don’t deserve this, and I know you never signed up for this. But I need your help.”

You straightened your shoulders. Whatever he was going to say, it looked like it physically pained him to say it. You wondered if this speech was inspired by Elijah, but you diverted your thoughts away from that. This wasn’t about your marriage; this was about something more important.

“You’re the only person I trust enough to do this, the only person I can really ask. It’s wrong of me to put this pressure on you after everything I’ve done, but I wouldn’t be asking if this weren’t so dire- you have to believe me.” He grabbed onto your hands, and you let him, even though it made you want to die, because when your skin made contact, you felt his hands tremble.

“Hope can’t be here; it’s not safe. The people of this city now know she is my weakness, and they will do anything to spite me, you’ve seen it firsthand.” You knew exactly what he was referring to: the day the witches tried to kill her. At the thought, you tensed. You saw tears gather in his eyes. “Please, I need her not to be here right now-”

You cut him off, almost in a state of awe as you realized what this was all about. “You need them to think she’s dead.” Your voice was breathy, like you’d just finished running a marathon, and wasn’t that what life was like in this family? With the Mikaelsons, no matter how powerful you all were, you’d always be running from something, fighting something. That couldn’t happen to Hope- not now, not yet. And so, without so much as another thought, you agreed, “I’ll do it.”

“Y/N-”

“No, Klaus, I’m doing this.” For the first time since you got to New Orleans, he saw a spark in your eye that you both thought had been extinguished. “I’ll take her, and I will protect her with my life.”

After that, he just stared at you for a few seconds. And for a moment, you as you held eye contact, you caught a glimpse of the man you fell in love with. For a moment, it almost felt like everything was alright, like he never cheated and like you never left. For a moment, the world stopped, and it was just you and him against the world.

But you knew better now.

You were startled when your husband suddenly embraced you tightly as if he never wanted to let you go. And then you realized how you couldn’t remember the last time you’d hugged. So, after a few seconds, if not just for the sake of it, you hugged him back. Although he quietly stammered his next words out, he still said them with more sincerity than you’ve heard from him in a long time. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You knew he was referring to more than just what he was asking of you. But, oh, you knew better now.

“I know.”

Not long after you and Klaus had that conversation, you took Hope. For the first time since you met her that day and found out she was pregnant, you actually talked to Hayley. Her eyes widened, like she couldn’t believe it. You told her that this didn’t make you two friends, but you also promised her that you’d look after her daughter.

She thanked you after a beat of silence, and then you and Hope disappeared.

You were gone for a while until your family’s drama eased up and you got the okay to come back to the Quarter. In that time, Hope’s parents missed their daughter’s first Christmas and also her birthday. But you made sure to take all the pictures you could. Even with the way you felt about them both, you weren’t gonna let those feelings get in the way of their relationship with Hope.

Their family, rather. When you returned, you realized that this was no longer your family. Eating dinner with them your first night back only proved that to you. This baby had changed all of you. You no longer knew your husband, and he no longer knew you.

When you first arrived to the compound, Klaus and Hayley came rushing to hug their little girl. The hybrid mouthed a thank you to you as he rubbed Hope’s back, tears in his eyes. The hostility you’d shown him from when he confessed he cheated on you all the way until just before you left New Orleans was gone. You couldn’t find it in you to be hostile as you watched him hold his daughter. In that moment, he was more than the man who betrayed you; he was a father who had been separated from his daughter.

That didn’t mean you forgave him, but you were trying to get there—for Hope.

Rebekah and Elijah showed up not a minute later. The blonde cooed at Hope while Elijah walked toward you, enveloping you in a hug that you couldn’t deny. You were worn out, and all you’d wanted this past year was to not be alone. But, deep down, you knew these efforts were futile. Things with your siblings would never be the same.

Rebekah had once been your best friend, but she was Klaus’ little sister first. Elijah was like an older brother to you, but he was Klaus’ first. The only person who could’ve possibly understood the way you were feeling was Kol, and he was long gone.

So, even as you stood in a room full of people, you still felt just as alone as when it’d only been you and Hope.

However, your epiphany didn’t matter. Maybe if it weren’t for Hope, you would’ve left and never turned back. Maybe you could’ve gone out and tried to find yourself, tried to be that same girl you were starting to like when you left Klaus in 2006. But Hope was there, and so you knew you couldn’t go anywhere. You had to stay with your family, even if they weren’t really your family anymore, because you just had to be there. You needed to protect Hope. You needed to keep Elijah from handling everything, and you needed to keep your little sister from spinning out. You needed to be there for Klaus to fall back on if he needed to, not for him, but to make sure he could be the best father he could possibly be to Hope.

To you, it wasn’t a choice. You needed to do this.

After all, didn’t you promise always and forever?

So, you stayed. You took care of Hope and took care of Klaus when Rebekah couldn’t take it anymore. It was almost as if your once other half and you had a silent agreement. He never tried anything, not even so much as holding your hand, but you were there for him as a friend, even though it broke your heart.

The two of you never officially ended things. Part of you wondered if maybe he thought you would get back together one day, but now you knew better than to ever expect anything like that. Yes, you would stay in the compound. And yes, you would take care of Hope. And yes, you would play nice with the mother of his child. But you were no longer Klaus and Y/N Mikaelson.

You were just Klaus and Y/N.

You never went out with another boy again. It was pointless, and you never wanted to fall for someone again if this was what love felt like, if it only ever brought you pain.

For years, things went this way. There were a few threats here and there, but they were taken care of every time. Hope was the most loved child in the world. She was starting to grow up, and so she was also starting to realize that her parents weren’t together. She was starting to realize that her father looked at the woman that’d been there all her life with a look of warmth in his eyes. She was starting to ask you questions that you didn’t know how to answer, questions you weren’t prepared to answer.

So, on Christmas Eve, after everyone had went to bed, you unscrewed the oldest bottle of liquor you had. You were originally saving it for a celebratory occasion, but you, too, were starting to realize things. You were starting to realize that, perhaps, the celebration would never come.

So you sat on the couch in the courtyard in front of the fireplace, unfazed by the cold. The Christmas tree diagonal to you glimmered and gleamed, but you were no longer so magnetized to it. Something in the last few years had taken away bits and pieces of your spirit until you were no longer sure it was even there anymore.

You took a swig of the wine, indulging in its bittersweetness as you stared straight into the fire, not caring if it’d blind you. For the first time since you turned, you loathed your immortality. At first, you looked at it like a blessing, something that’d give you an eternity with your family, an eternity to travel the world and enjoy all it had to offer you.

But now it was just a curse.

Just as you took another swig, you heard footsteps behind you, and suddenly the couch dipped, someone else sitting right beside you.

You could immediately tell who it was just from the mere grace of his actions. Elijah. You glanced at the nobleman, almost scoffing at his attire. Past midnight, and yet he was still in a suit.

Your voice was raspy as you remarked, “No rest for the wicked, huh?” Elijah sighed as you passed the bottle to him. For a second, you thought he’d scold you for not using a glass, but instead he took a large gulp straight from the bottle.

“It seems that way, Y/N,” he said, passing the bottle back to you. You chuckled, but there wasn’t much humour in your tone. He didn’t ask you why you were awake, nor did you ask him. You just sat together in front fireplace, passing the bottle back and forth. You didn’t know if you were both so silent because of how tired you were or if it was because your relationship had just become that fragile.

Sitting there, no Saint Nick came by in a magic sled. There were no reindeer, or bells, or snow. There was no magic to this holiday for you anymore, and you wondered if Elijah felt the same way. You wondered if he was as tired as he looked right now, as tired as you felt. If he was, then you couldn’t help but feel bad for him because, even though you had felt resentment for him, you wouldn’t wish this on anybody.

Still though, you wondered if you’d be sitting there if Elijah just let you go that day. You wondered how things would’ve turned out if he let himself go, too.

Like he was reading your mind, he suddenly turned to you and whispered, “I’m sorry, Y/N.” You turned to face him. While he looked serious, he looked more broken than you’d ever seen him. “I’m sorry I brought you back to him that day. I’m just now realizing that I’ve never apologized to you before.” You stared at him silently, and so he continued, looking back to the fire. “You could have been happy, and I took that opportunity away from you. So I am sorry.” He paused, like he was debating on saying something, a glazed look in his eyes as he lightly muttered, “More sorry than you’ll ever know.”

For what felt like forever but was really just a minute, you didn’t say anything. You, too, turned back to the fire, biting your lip as you tried to articulate what you wanted to say. “I think… I think, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter.” You saw him turn back to you out of the corner of your eye, but you didn’t look back. You didn’t know if you could say this while looking at him. “I think it would’ve ended up like this, anyway. I was his wife, not his keeper, but that didn’t matter. My love for him would’ve always made me stay and look after him, even though it kills me inside, even though I think I died a long time ago.” You swallowed. “My mother used to tell me to watch how boys treat me, but Nik wasn’t just any boy. I was so enthralled by the beauty of the fire that I didn’t care if I’d get burned- God, I just wanted to feel warm.” Unknowingly, a tear fell down your cheek. At that moment, you turned to your brother to see him watching you intently. You shook your head, giving him a small smile. “It wasn’t your fault, Elijah, it was mine. I should’ve known better.”

At that, you got up, leaving the bottle with Elijah, and you walked back to your room. You didn’t sleep that night, but when Hope came running into your room in the morning, screaming that Santa came, you pretended to be asleep so that she could wake you.

You sat through the opening of presents, Elijah looking at you differently than before. And you’d sit through multiple Christmases after this one.

No matter how much it hurt you or how it unhealthy it was, you knew you were locked in now, and you threw away the key ages ago. You couldn’t get off this ride, not even if you tried to.

Maybe, if you didn’t let Klaus pull you back in time and time again, then you wouldn’t be stuck. But you did, and now all you could do was just sit and let the roller coaster run its course, no matter how sick it made you or how many tears would leave your eyes when no one was watching.

Now, you’d be here always and forever. But you still couldn’t help but think-

You should’ve known better.

Taglist: @honestlycasualarcade

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nonegenderleftpain · 2 years

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To all the new, young MCR fans out there who are just finding them during this tour - you will never know what it was like to be a fan back before and during the hiatus.

And that's a good thing.

I have been following My Chemical Romance since I was ten years old. MCR was the band that the freaks liked. The band that young queer kids were called fags and dykes for liking. Someone once called them the "poster child for suicidal depression," and they aren't wrong. We watched the band struggle with drugs and drinking and idolized how much they were able to do while blackout on tour, because if they could do something so powerful at such a disadvantage, then maybe we could, too. We watched the popularization of "guyliner," because having a term for men wearing makeup could make it an ironic fashion statement instead of a deliberate choice that would get you left bloody and unconscious on the floor of a gas station bathroom. We watched these guys destroy themselves, and we saw ourselves in them because we were destroyed, too. We wanted to believe that we could be just as important, no matter how broken we were, and we found shared experiences at concerts and cafeterias and skate parks and libraries, with other fucked up kids that wanted to listen to the guys that didn't care if people called them gay. The guys that made out on stage to the jeers of thousands of people and got bottles of piss thrown at them but kept doing it anyway. The guys that played with gender and sexuality and everything on the fringes of acceptability, in their lyrics and their performance and the way they treated each other.

This was important. It was life-saving. It provided a comparatively safe space in an unsafe cultural environment for the freaks to find comfort in. It was also hugely and dangerously unhealthy.

I've talked at length to my friends about how healing and lifechanging this tour has been for me, and I want to illuminate that for these young fans that are falling in love with MCR like I did when I was their age. When we were kids, most of our heroes were already dead. They died young, had tragic lives, and we saw ourselves in them. I fully believed MCR would end up the same way. It would have been so easy to be martyrs - to die young and beautiful. Gerard said it himself, back in the day, that MCR was destined to die young in a car crash and stay beautiful forever, and I think he truly believed that.

So they broke up. And, like a miracle, things started to change. They got clean. Got married. Had kids. Not just Gee, but the lot of them. They aged out of the 27 club, and then out of their 30s, and they only seemed to continue to thrive. Today, in 2022, Gerard Way is 45 years old. He has wrinkles. He has a daughter who is older now than I was when she was born. And they are touring again.

The cultural change from when I was a teenager to now, when you guys are, is monumental. It's insane. It's fantastic. Back in the day, Gerard made some occasional comments about playing with gender presentation (that all us trans people, including those of us that didn't even know yet, hunted down and cherished and kept in our chests for safekeeping), but the idea of doing something so flagrant as headlining Riot Fest in a dress was ludicrous. It would have gotten him booed (still did, even now). It could have gotten him killed. The fact that Gerard Way has stepped on stage three separate times this tour in a dress (so far! it's not over!) is such an incredible, monumental change from when I was a kid and I am so, so happy for you to be experiencing it as kids.

I had a cry about this at a P!ATD concert in 2018, after seeing preteens running down the halls in pride flags, and I feel even more strongly about it now than I did then. That you're able to talk openly about Gerard's gender performance without fear, that you're able to hear them go by he/they pronouns, that you're able to interact with other young fans in the wake of MCR's revival in a safe environment and take in the messages that are at the core of what they stand for? These are beautiful fucking things.

You can't know what it was like, growing up with MCR back in the day. But you get to know what it's like to grow up with them now. Cherish that. In Detroit, Gerard told us to take our meds, and reminded us that we made it. They made it. They fought through the hard parts, fought the demons, and came out the other side better for it. As you watch them put those demons to rest from concert to concert, know that there are older fans cheering you on, so fucking happy to see you sharing this experience with us, and so excited to see what way this changes you. We know it changed us.

#my chemical romance #mcr #mcr 2022 #my chem #gerard way #gender stuff #music stuff #mcr are my heroes and i dont use that word lightly #this tour has only further cemented my deep respect for them as performers and as people #seeing them so full of joy and life is so novel and i dont think it will ever feel like anything short of a miracle

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mywitchcultblr · 2 years

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I'm done with your purity

I'm fucking done with all of you westerners fucks who take your freedom for granted. AO3 was banned in china because pissy fans reporting RPF TO THE GOVERNMENT UNDER FALSE REPORT OF PEDO OR WHATEVER thus making life a living hell for Chinese writers and fans. ALSO LET ME TELL YOU that fanfic and AO3 is a safe space for many oppressed LGBT people outside of the west

I can't fucking say that I'm trans and bi without having people beating the shit out of me, but I can fuckin' write that I'm gay as fuck in fanfic or writing gay shit about my fave with fanfic

Imagine some people defending state wide censorship over fanfic, because they don't like icky fanfic, that's a sign that either you are brainwashed or fucking privileged and taking your freedom for granted. You know why Asian and other non western USA-European are more chill with fanfic and fandom?

Why we are less prone to make some stupid callout over fanworks?

Because most of us doesn't have the same information and expression privilege like the west, we take any freedom that we can have

That's in 2017... There's probably more than one million websites being censored rn. I cannot even buy pride pin here because NO ONE outside of internet selling it! The censorship always begin from "banning information to protect children and moral from nsfw" down to censoring Spongebob Squarepants

You don't like something? Just don't fucking read it, it wouldn't stop the author to write and when they do stop writing usually after they are harassed so bad to the point of mental break down or suicide. What the actual fuck...

Defending and supporting state wide censorship because you want to feel superior on the internet is beyond stupid and it showing your privilege... Also yah fuck you who defend china aggressive state wide censorship because adult x adult RPF icky or whatever, I like reading Tom Hiddleston x Reader, because I'm lonely and it's fun. Don't lie that you never thinking of marrying your favorite celebrities or dreaming about dating Gerard Way.

What the fuck you gonna do about it? Crucify my ass? So long you are not shoving it to the person's face, who give a fuck? It's not a justifiable ground to cheer for government mandated national wide censorship. A lot of westerners are so privileged and terminally online to the point their mind revolve around online discourse 24/7 I'm not saying discourse has no damn merits but you get what I said...

Some people particularly white westerners are so privileged they have the chance to goes back 180° and agreeing with conservative mindset they claim to hate so much... Also your kink critical bullshit and your bullshit crusading over dark stories? Yeah. Heavily influenced by TERF and conservatism. Newsflash...

I'm not a person who agree with all ship or stories, i don't claim any moral high ground. I was so scared of getting cancelled due to the hostile neo puritan fandom culture, but seeing people defending China great firewall and aggressive censorship finally broke something inside of me and I cannot stay quiet

I don't give a fuck about your fanfic discourse, If i don't like something i just wouldn't fucking engage with it and wouldn't read...

I'm done, I'm tired. Fucking tagging this shit as anti vs pro because i need to get the message out there and LET THE CHAOS begin

( When you want to escape your country censorship to the internet but then you see the supposed liberated westerners people wanting censorship because they want to feel moral. Yes there are even westerners who don't want to see anything even remotely 'problematic' example: they will attack Zutara or fuckin' Reylo shipper whatever. See? You are terminally online and so privileged... Congratulations... Here's your fucking medal and gold star)

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graffitibible · 2 years

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genuinely confused wdym by gerard way white saviorism

you asked me this about 3 weeks ago, and i'm sorry it took me so long to get to it. i had to think very hard about how i was going to answer this one, because i want to be transparent in just how frustrating i find this issue without drawing a lot of fire from really pissed off my chem fans who hate the idea of my daring to speak up against their perfect white fav (which has happened often, and continues to happen often. fortunately i'm pretty immune to this by now but i do find it very annoying)

i want to be very transparent in that i think that pretty much everyone can benefit from the idea that their favs are flawed. i'm very aware of the flaws and missteps that people i admire, both personally and professionally, have committed in their lives, and it is down to my own sense of morality over whether that's a dealbreaker for me. i don't like the idea of calling out bad behavior for the sake of clout or whatever. but i do care about not people being spoken over when they point out a legitimate criticism, and that is the bottom line here.

below the cut, i'm going to be discussing some very heavy topics: racism of all flavors is the most prevalent one, but i'm also going to touch (briefly) on topics such as antisemitism, incest, and abuse.

and i am also, in general, going to be saying a lot of very unkind things.

when it comes to criticisms of the scene, of narrative writing, of mistakes that people make...my chemical romance, and gerard way in particular, are consistently rendered immune. when we discuss misogyny in the scene in the early and mid aughts, my chem's name never comes up (despite the fact that bullets, their first album, most certainly has lyrics that certainly evoke the same violent misogyny present in a lot of works from that era). when we discuss racism within the scene, my chem is never really discussed at length except perhaps to point out that ray toro is a latino man who is either ignored or sexualized (or both) by a deeply racist fanbase. there is a tendency, within these spaces, to give my chem the benefit of the doubt where the same grace is not extended to others.

this is what i mean by "white saviorism." because gerard way's whiteness in particular protects them from a lot of this. and i say this because of all the things that has made it deeply uncomfortable to interact with broad swathes of my chem's fanbase, the racism has unquestionably been the number one deterrent. there is a very unique brand of racism present within my chem spaces - and i know i am not the only person of color who feels this way, because i've spoken to many who can say the same - that is particularly violent, particularly virulent, and particularly ingrained. experiences with this, along with my own growing distaste for gerard way as a writer, has soured my experience with the music so tremendously that i can no longer really interact with it at length.

i am not, however, above citing my sources. so. let’s talk about racism in gerard way’s writing, shall we?

i have always been up front about the fact that i do not find gerard way to be a particularly inspired, interesting, or good writer. i find most of their work to be aggressively mediocre and highly derivative. but my own personal opinion of their work has very little bearing on the extremely racist rhetoric that upholds a distressing amount of it. here is where i'm going to link a pretty informative twitter thread that outlines a lot of these instances in detail, but it is by no means exhaustive.

it's in the umbrella academy comics, wherein the main characters are all white despite being children taken from "all over the world." it's in the orientalist racist caricatures of the vampire viet cong group that the heroes square up against. it's in the casual instances of slurs that have cropped up several times in their works without any understanding of the impact those words have (an anti-indigenous slur in the umbrella academy comics, an anti-romani slur in the killjoys national anthem comics - which, i should state, came out in 2020). it's in the appalling writing decision to, in national anthem, make the sole black character the character with "animal powers" who rips out adversary's throats on all fours. it's in the frequent and persistent sexualization of women of color, particularly asian women. it's in the colorism involved in the interplay between mike milligram (a white man), code blue (a latina woman), and jaime ramirez (their mixed child), wherein jaime's skin tone shifts at the drop of a hat depending on which of his parental figures is in the frame (code blue is dead by the time the story picks up properly, but her sister, code red, effectively raises him...and he ends up staying with his father).

and it is unquestionably, overwhelmingly present in danger days. this is a danger days blog so this is the area in which i have the most research, so i want to be very clear when i say this:

racism is an insidious, incontrovertible, and inextricable foundation of the very conceptual underpinnings behind danger days and all its associated works.

the orientalism is baked into the very aesthetic of the album. better living industries is a japanese mega-company that takes everything over, the big bad of the franchise. the asian "aesthetic" is all over the canon in the music videos and comics: non-asian characters are seen wearing it, it's in all the marketing and even present on the album itself, wherein a woman is clearly heard speaking japanese on the "party poison" track. there was also the baffling inclusion of the "clown monk" character that was cut from the music videos back in 2010, wherein a white man is wandering around wearing buddhist robes (they inexplicably liked this concept so much that they brought it back for the national anthem comics which, again, i will reiterate: came out in 2020).

this is not surprising. danger days is deeply derivative in concept (up to and including the name itself), and because most of its influences come from cyberpunk dystopia fiction from the 80s, most obviously the 1980s film blade runner. works of fiction in that vein frequently draw from the idea of "yellow peril," and are rooted in the extremely racist and xenophobic rhetoric that western civilization will be invaded and dismantled by the evil, scary asians. the end result is a concept of a "dystopia" that is mired in the very stereotypical fears of the time: fears of an east asian surveillance state invading the west, fears of the all-powerful homogenized "other," and so on.

this did not stop gerard way from exotifying and fetishizing the fUCK out of all their asian characters though!!! the director of better living industries gets to be the primary major asian character in the killjoys california comics, and she spends a good chunk of it in dominatrix gear, with a whip to boot - both villain and sex object. the comic’s sex workers, referred to as “pornodroids,” are all asian-coded and, although we get one of the comic’s two same-sex pairings (3/4 of the characters involved in said pairings are dead by the comics’ end), the characters of red and blue spend the entirety of their screen time in the highly sexualized apparel of their occupations. there’s also the character of korse’s boyfriend, who does not get a name and spends all of his screen time lounging around shirtless in korse’s apartment. nice of gway to reduce the only asian dude to eye candy fridged for korse’s manpain. i guess.

also, i should not fail to mention - the killjoys california and danger days sections of canon are INCREDIBLY white for pieces of fiction that take place in california, which is one of the most racially diverse areas in the states. in terms of latino characters, we get jet star (by virtue of being played by ray toro in the music video, though i should point out that there is no guarantee that this is actually reflective of jet star’s true appearance, since none of the killjoy appearances are necessarily 1:1 with those of the band in the comics), and we get...POSSIBLY vaya and vamos, who are ambiguously brown and have names in spanish which implies they might be latine (but given that this is california and most of the population speaks spanish, is not necessarily a given). we also get volume, the sole black character, who gets a handful of lines before being unceremoniously killed off within moments of meeting him. the girl’s mother is definitely drawn as a woman of color, but she gets one line, no name, and the girl herself is drawn as very straightforwardly white and considered to have a “fair complexion” in the comics.

this trend unfortunately continues into national anthem, wherein there’s certainly a more diverse cast, but unfortunately, very little of that cast actually gets concrete development. mike milligram is our central protagonist, our sole white character (gerard way basically only ever commits to writing white protagonists)...and he’s also the only one of them who gets an arc of any kind. code blue (a latina woman, and his girlfriend) is fridged for his manpain. code red, blue’s sister, does not get nearly as much focus on her grief despite losing someone she knew for much longer than mike ever did. jaime, mike and blue’s child, resents red for raising him and chooses to stay with his birth father once the events of the comics are over. i’ve touched on how animax, our sole black character, is given “animal powers” and is pictured several times brutally ripping apart his enemies, but i should also point out that his big character motivation is - no joke - rosa parks. as in, rosa parks being erased from history, and he wants to stop it (these comics were weird, and also incredibly bad). everyone else has a deeply personal motivation save for animax, whose motivation is basically that he wants people to not forget that the civil rights movement like, happened.

there’s also the instance of kara jeong, or kara 100%. this is the one that really makes me grind my teeth, because she’s frequently praised as a cornerstone for trans representation. and i agree that having more trans women of color in comics is great! but this does not erase the fact that, like literally every other asian character gerard way has ever written, she is very much sexualized. her job as a model means that “it was essential that she was good looking” and it is not as egregious an example as, say, the director in the california comics...but it’s an unsettling addition to a constant pattern. there are a lot of shots of kara’s bare neck and shoulders and long legs, and all that on top of the fact that, like anyone who isn’t mike milligram, she gets very little characterization at all...well, it’s not a great look.

these are the issues in gerard’s writing that are the most frequently dismissed and ignored. this post is horribly long to begin with, so i don’t want to carry on (ha...ha....), but i want it on record that i very much could. this does not even begin to touch upon the bizarre inclusion of a constant incest undertone in almost everything gerard way writes (the umbrella academy is the most obvious here, but even in the killjoys canons...red and blue are lesbian lovers in california while being sisters in national anthem, and that’s kind of a little uncomfortable, all things considered), nor does it address gerard’s insistence on including very homogenous abusive backstories for no reason besides, i guess, character angst (and these abusive backstories all involve a physically abusive male figure, because i guess this is the only kind of abusive relationship gerard way can visualize).

[EDIT: just remembered, because i forgot to mention it (knew i was forgetting something) - there's also quite a bit of antisemitism present in the umbrella academy comics that is further exacerbated in the show. i'm not the best equipped person to talk about that (i've only watched the show up to s2, at which point i kinda got sick of that garbage enough to just tap out of it), and i also have only looked over the tua comics a few times as opposed to the show, which is not run or primarily written by gerard way. that being said, he's definitely a creative consultant on it, so...i think maybe they should've reconsidered making reginald hargreeves a baby-stealing lizard man and having the bad guys all speak to each other in yiddish, possibly.]

let me be the first to say...none of this surprises me. these are all pitfalls i’ve seen white writers (and writers of color with internalized issues) commit as well. and i also, as well, want to make it clear that i imagine very little of these appalling writing decisions were committed with active malice. i sincerely doubt that anyone involved in these writing processes steepled their fingers and cackled wickedly over what crimes they would commit to their many brown fans.

i want to be very, very clear here. i lay all of this out not to “shame” gerard way or write a “callout post” or anything to that effect. i want to be utterly transparent in that i think gerard way’s racism is as mediocre and unremarkable as their writing is: derivative, lazy, shallow, and incredibly commonplace.

and that is where the idea of “gerard way white saviorism” comes from. because these are all, individually, acts of horribly insensitive, damaging, and deeply racist rhetoric that would unquestionably be addressed if it were anyone else doing them. but because it’s gerard way, and the internet loves gerard way, and everyone has decided that gerard way is their white liberal fav who can do no wrong...like the case with everything else surrounding my chemical romance, they get a pass. they are exempt.

this is far from everything. it’s just what i can remember at the moment. i am not the first person of color to point this shit out. i imagine i will be ignored, much like every other fan of color who has made these points in the past. people don’t like to imagine that gerard way can be capable of these sorts of oversights. they don’t like to think about it. they want to persist in painting their very ordinary, centrist, white liberal fav as someone whose every word is deeply progressive and insightful and flawless. because, consistently, they get the benefit of the doubt where others, especially folks of color, do not.

so no one talks about it. no one talks about how gerard way’s writing is consistently racist in a very clear and distinct way that no one wants to address, making it more insidious. no one wants to talk about the mind-bogglingly racist conceptual underpinnings holding up the entire danger days album. no one wants to talk about how gerard, and all of my chemical romance accepted, or at the very least tolerated, bob bryer’s overt antiblack racism for years, for nearly a decade, and never said a word.

no one wants to talk about it. because that would mean they’d have to come to terms with their white savior not being so perfect.

so they don’t.

and shit like this is why i find the overwhelming majority of my chemical romance fan spaces to be deeply unwelcoming to someone like myself: a brown person who tries to call out racism when i see it. and i know i’m not the only one.

#ask #anon #z speaks #gerard way //#im...not going to maintag this. feel free to reblog it though.#posts that are the equivalent of firing a couple shots into the air to keep the rent low lol

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miam0re · 10 months

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Overheard Fantasies | Honkai Star Rail

Warning: Fantasies(mentions) of- Group Sex/Gang Bang, Blowjobs, Cunnilingus, Anal stuff, spanking, biting, deep throating, cum swallowing, more stuff i probably missed

Summary: And there you were with your best friends, talking about your fantasies of fucking the men you've met...who happen to be hearing your conversation from the other room

Pairings: Welt Yang, Jing Yuan, Gepard X Fem!Reader (together)

Mia's Notes: Yooo This was inspired by THIS ASK asked by @cxxmine lots of love for the ask!! I wanted to include whichever men i could but Im not too good with writing group stuff so I thought I'd write for 3! If you all like it then maybe I can write more owo but yep this is it for now, I hope you enjoy it mwah mwah Ps bold text is you talking and the normal text is their reaction

“Oh, Mr.Yang? He’s such a dilf, ya know? Like I would totally spread my legs wide open for him-oh or maybe just sit on his face- and I just know that he’s got the most skilled tongue ever. Would I call him ‘daddy’? Absolutely yes. Would I start whoring out if he called me his dearest little one? You bet I would be an obedient girl for him while all the other guys watch me be good for him."

Your sweet Mr.Welt Yang coughs into his fist, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, imagining it accidentally bump against your clit while he eats you. Really, he wasn’t that much older than them in looks…but apparently, in your eyes, you considered him a ‘Daddy’. Maybe he would almost immediately get addicted to the taste of your leaking juices, lapping them up greedily the way he’s imagined so many times. Yes, he’d desire for you to be a good girl for him, he doesn’t have the time to tame you and discipline you. But maybe a few harsh bites to your thighs, leaving marks of his presence ought to do the trick.

“I’d let him play with my ass while I’m being eaten out by Welt. I just get this feeling that he has the biggest thing for asses like have you guys noticed how his eyes keep wandering down when I walk in front of him? And if you’re asking if I’d let him stuff my hole…perhaps. I bet he has a collection of toys. Yeah…I wanna use them. I would also shamelessly ride his fingers if he asked me to.”

He’s smiling to himself, a slight glimmer in his golden eyes with faint pink dusting his cheeks. You are quite the observant lass aren’t you? Seeing the way his eyes have been stealing glances at your plush ass. And since you’re so willing to permit him to have his way with you, maybe he would stuff you with one of the many plugs in his possession. All different shapes and sizes that will stimulate you till you’re convulsing and rolling your eyes to the back of your skull. If you’re good for him, maybe he’ll smack your butt to sear his touch into your skin for you to never forget. And if nothing else, he’s got his long slender fingers that he can thrust into your puckered up hole till you’re loose and prepared for his cock.

“Awww I’d love to see his face all flustered and red as he tries to keep his composed self. Definitely going to give him head in this situation. Kiss his pretty red tip and run my hands up and down his thick cock- you know he’s gotta be sporting a monster behind those pants with a body and adorable personality like that. Roll my tongue all over the length till he’s shaking and cumming on me.”

Oh my…oh dear…Gerard has gone as red as a tomato, covering his burning ears to cool them and try to not let any more of your vulgar thoughts corrupt his mind. But he’s already too far gone, imagining having your hair in a fist while pushing you down on his generous length, watching how you so professionally swallow it all up, hollowing your cheeks to vacuum around his hot dick. Oh god, he’s imagining the way you’ll drool all over him and then lick him base to tip to clean the saliva and precum. If you’ll go on looking at him with those dazed eyes, he might just shoot a heavy load down your throat, clutching the back of your neck to keep you in place as he bucks into you.

The three men accidentally make eye contact with each other, breaking the uncomfortable gaze and bouncing on their heels, hands in their pockets to adjust their growing boners.

Will any of them make the first move to talk to you? I guess it’s up to March to decide how this plays out!!

#mia.writes #mia.smut #mia.thirst #honkai star rail x reader #star rail smut #honkai star rail smut #welt yang smut #gepard smut #jing yuan smut #welt yang x reader #gepard x reader #jing yuan x reader

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buckybarnesss · 8 months

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The idea of Derek being present in season 5 and being supportive of Stiles intrigues me because of the potential contrast to Stiles & Malia. Malia knew about Donovan but didn't care in the way that Stiles needed her to when he was struggling. Which isn't her fault - she's not human, didn't grow up human, and thus has no understanding of WHY Stiles would be upset.

Malia is definitely one of the characters I think JD mishandled the most.

The potential Scott vs Derek is delicious, because they both went through the Nogitsune ordeal, and because Derek also trusts Stiles implicitly, whereas that trust between Scott and Stiles is frayed.

Derek and the sheriff would 100% destroy any and all evidence against Stiles. It wouldn't even be a question in their minds.

do not get me started on malia tate and how badly she was mishandled. i know she isn't the most popular character but i love her and she deserved so much better than what they gave her.

derek in s5 would've been so intriguing. i was actually making a list of why derek couldn't be in s5 because it'd just break everything.

he'd take one look at theo and called him a great value version of peter and theo would have to no choice but to die of shame

would help and support malia with killing corrine because corrine is trying to kill her.

also it'd be really interesting for derek to have to confront the idea that talia hale forced someone to carry a pregnancy they didn't want in addition to removing peter's memories of it which removed peter's agency in the situation.

he would definitely been able to help liam with his control and be someone liam could actually turn to for advice and help when he felt like scott wasn't listening.

if liam bonded with and grew to trust derek it would've been a great echo of the situation with isaac back in s3. scott could've felt jealous and threatened over it.

he also probably could've been useful with helping kira find control over her fox thereby rendering the skin walker plot useless.

derek would've figured out jordan was a hellhound.

the scott and derek dynamic would've been interesting as fuck because scott was failing as an alpha in the way derek did and scott wasn't very understanding of derek's failures and short comings.

he would've been such a great support system for stiles which would've undermined theo's entire agenda. derek would've never doubted stiles not after everything they'd been through together.

i would've loved to hear his thoughts about the whole le bête situation and how he would've handled that with the argents. like fuck off and die already gerard.

#my blog #teen wolf #thoughts on teen wolf #derek hale #sterek

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jerseymuppet · 1 year

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If you ask someone what thee running motif of mcr is, you usually get one of these answers: heart, death, finding strength, or something along those lines. All good answers! All correct! However, I think if you really broke everything down, you could say mcrs running motif is ‘stay’. Just, stay/staying. It comes up repeatedly throughout their discography, in so many contexts and iterations. Until it doesn’t anymore. I’ll get to that.

Throughout their discography “staying” is a very prominent theme. It’s everywhere. Even if the word ‘stay’ itself is never uttered, the sentiment is still there. It’s heard as a statement, a plea, an act of rebellion; an absolution; a declaration of intent. It makes sense, in the grand scheme of everything. It fits with their message. ‘Stay with me, until the end. Hold my hand and never be afraid again. Take strength in knowing you’re not facing the hardest part alone, I’ll be with you.’ That’s mcrs message. Survive. Stay. The fact I can write it out using their lyrics says it all, honestly. But somewhere down the line, the message shifted. Mcr (more Gerard) no longer wanted to ‘stay’. Danger Days was the beginning of the end, and I think Gerard knew it. Whether conscious or subconsciously, that was when the message shifted from ‘stay’ to ‘leave’.

This isn’t to say that the motifs of leaving or running away aren’t ever used before this, but it’s usually only in dire circumstances. Off the top of my head the only example I can think of is early sunsets (running away and hiding with you), which is a song based off dawn of the dead and also wasn’t even written by Gerard. I’ve talked about this on another post, but the way Gerard writes it’s so interesting because it’s the same themes, even the same exact lyrics, over and over. Yet, it never sounds the same. The other interesting thing is the way concepts will just, sit in his head for a while. A very long while. You’ll see glimpses of them, like little breadcrumb trails you didn’t even notice where being left for you to find and follow, until the you get to see the whole picture and realize it was always there. the leaving motif wasn’t like that, isn’t like that. It popped up out of nowhere. And I can’t help but wonder what caused it. A mix of things, the industry stifling the bands creativity; the fan’s reaction to such drastic change from them; Gerard’s mental health at the time. I think Gerard was right about mcr dying young, but I don’t think it was ever going to die in a car crash. I think it was more like the warmth and comfort of your home rotting away with you still inside. Where do you go? When your sanctuary isn’t safe anymore? You either leave, run away while you still can; or it collapses with you in it. I’m happy they got out in time.

#okay this isn’t my finest most succinct work but I’m sleep tired and lightheaded and on pain meds soooooo #my point stands #jude.txt #my chemical romance #mcr #analysis

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ilooklikeaburntchickenugget · 1 month

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Love You (Always)

A/N: Heyyyyy this is for all my insecure girlies regardless of what type of body you have. All girlies can feel insecure at times even if you're a 00 or if you're a size 20. So here's a cute comforting fic for all of us ladies who need some extra confidence sometimes! Pairing: Gerard Way x F!Reader Word count: 2,316 words Warnings: Mentions of insecurity, scrutinizing of one's own body, not necessarily an eating disorder, but themes/habits of disordered eating/limited eating, swearing, slight angst

You weren’t really a clingy kind of person, that’s probably how you and Gerard worked out so well. But right now, you were pretty sure you were watching every second until he got home.

You had spent a whole two days cleaning the apartment from top to bottom, making sure everything was set. You couldn’t believe you were going to admit it, but you were somehow nervous for his return. You hadn’t seen each other in months, talking over the phone was spontaneous at best, and he hadn’t been home since, well- you couldn’t remember, actually.

So maybe that’s why in your mind everything had to be perfect, because you weren’t sure what to expect. I mean, this could all simply explode in a minute, right? One small tap on the glass for it to shatter.

You paced around the room a bit, biting on your nail, something you never did, and awaited with baited breath and a thumping heart. He was your boyfriend of three years and you were somehow nervous to see him. It was like a date with a middle school crush but far worse because at the end of the day this actually mattered.

You could hear the door rumble a bit and swing open, looking up to be met with Gerard initially struggling with his bags a bit, but placing them down by the front with a sigh and looking up at you with a smile. You smiled back as he was the first to run up to you and give you a kiss. It wasn’t hectic or frantic just gentle and calm.

“Hi.” You finally said once he pulled away, meeting his eyes and he looked down at your with a smile.

“Hi.” He responded, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You smiled back. “I- um, do you need help with your bags?”

“Nah, I’ll get ‘em later.” He calmly shrugged, “Probably need a shower though-”

“Oh thank God you said it.” You let out a sigh of relief, “With as much respect as possible, you smell like shit.”

“Thanks.” He snorted, beginning to walk back to your shared room where the closet space was. “Glad we’re on the same page.”

You took a deep gulp as he stepped out of the shower and you were able to finally notice his physique for the first time since being back. He had a towel wrapped around his waist, but his upper body was now structured with soft muscles on his arms and while he still had a bit of a belly (something you adored for whatever reason), he was much… thiner, than he was.

It didn’t shock you by any means considering he was practically getting a full blown workout for an hour a day in the hot sun while touring in the middle of summer. But it also didn’t help your own mental view of yourself.

You had always had this on and off again relationship with self love. Most of the time now, having matured and all and realizing how fake most bodies plastered on magazine pages were, you managed to actually find a lot of confidence in the way you looked. Sure, you were a bit chubby, some chunk on your arms, around your thighs and hips, a bigger belly than just the small one most women had, but you had managed to love the curves that came with it.

“Might as well take a picture.” You heard Gerard say and quickly looked to his face where he was smiling at you, realizing that you had been full blown staring for way too long. You couldn’t even respond, only looking away in complete embarrassment. “Oh c’mon baby,” He softly said, “You’re never speechless.”

He threw a shirt and sweatpants on before walking out to where you were laying on the bed, plopping down right next to you and letting his arms snake around your waist, squeezing you tight. As soon as he did though, and didn’t get your usual enthusiastic response since he knew you loved that move, his eyebrows furrowed a bit. “You okay?” He asked a bit more seriously despite you still facing away and not moving. “Did I say or do something, hon?” You shook your head silently. “What’s up?”

You tried to pull out of his grip, now being doubly embarrassed and therefore on the verge of tears, but it did not work with him at all. Damn, he had gotten stronger too. “Hon-” He tried to push a bit but was quickly stopped.

“Could you not?” You finally pushed back, turning over slightly to face him, his facial expressions quickly contorting from concern to shock. “I’m just not in the mood.” You sighed, getting up as he finally freed you from his grip. “And sorry for staring at you.” You mumbled, walking out of the bedroom and towards the main area leaving him completely dumbfounded.

What had he done in the 15 minutes he was home? Had he done something before and you were just being nice at first? Was he being too up front? Did you need more time to warm up again? Did he read something wrong?

The questions flooded his mind like an exploded dam as he sat up still confused but deciding to give you space and understanding intruding on your personal bubble right now would lead to way more harm than good. Maybe I should Google it or something- Google it Gerard? What are you thinking? Talk to your therapist but- damn, it’s like 9 pm don’t disturb him. Frank’s not bad with advice but he just got home too, Mikey maybe?

He wasn’t sure what to do because clearly, not obviously, like so blatantly, something was very, very wrong. But what was that thing? How did he fuck this all up so fast?

He was pondering his next plans of actions, because yes he would ideally like to sleep in a bed his first night being back in a while, but also the couch seemed like a more fitting punishment for whatever crime he had committed. But you were out there, and seemed like some form of distance at least temporarily seemed to fit the situation.

Finally, after some deep consideration, he figured it was best to just leave you alone and go to bed. If you wanted to come back, he would be on his side facing the other way, being sure not to disturb you. He turned off his side lamp and finally laid down, inevitably having to let the feeling that this was an issue for tomorrow settle on his turning stomach.

The next morning had started out usual for you. You had woken up, taken a shower, done your hair and skincare routine all within a time that Gerard had shockingly not woken up. You let him sleep extra knowing his sleep schedule on tour was never usual and getting anything more than four hours was a blessing, and also because of the little fit last night that you still were too embarrassed to address. Because how were you supposed to bring up your insecurities to your boyfriend without having to acknowledge them?

Just as you finished brushing your teeth you heard his footsteps pad through the bedroom and into the bathroom, where he quickly yawned from next to you in the mirror. “Morning, hon.” He said, his morning voice thicker than ever.

“Morning.” You replied, spitting out the last of your toothpaste, “How’d you sleep?”  “Well,” He said, grabbing his own toothbrush and stealing the tube of toothpaste from your side, “Much better than on the bus.” You lightly smiled at him.

“What d’you wanna do today?” You asked him, brushing your hair once last time. He shrugged.

“Not much, to be honest.” He said, “Maybe breakfast or lunch, then hang out around here. Just wanna be around you.” He smiled a bit, letting a some of the foamed tooth paste show in his mouth which you lightly giggled at.

“Sure,” You replied, “That sounds good.”

You quickly got dressed into leggings and a baggy sweatshirt. At least this would cover your stomach and thighs. The whole “staying in” plan for the day made it easier to justify the outfit and for him to hopefully think not much of it. “You ready?” He asked, walking to the edge of your closet as you nodded.

You grabbed your tote bag on your way out, locking the door behind you, and was quickly met with his hand engulfing yours as you entered the street. He gave it a little squeeze, something he knew you adored, and suddenly had a blush growing on your face.

Thankfully, having lived in New York a decent amount of time now, you had found local favorites that were easy to get into and always good. A diner down the corner was one of your favorites, and especially early in your relationship was a frequent place you would go each morning after he spent the night with you.

You had your usual orders: Gerard would go for pancakes and you would go for french toast, and then each of you would pick off of the others when you got sick of your own. It was almost part of the routine of days like today. That was why Gerard happened to be so off guard when you didn’t order your usual, I mean, you still ordered a regular plate of breakfast food, bacon, eggs, hashbrowns and all, but it wasn’t the usual thing.

He kept to himself a bit, eyeing you instead as each of you talked, and noticing slight body language queues of uncomfortability. He was still pondering last night, and the way you seemed to shrink yourself today didn’t give any indication that you were over whatever was bothering you from yesterday.

You didn’t comment or seem to mind when he took some of your food from your plate, but it made him feel a bit more guilty when you weren’t taking any from his.

“Want some?” He asked, motioning his head and silverware towards his plate. It was still half full of pancakes he has conservatively drenches with just enough syrup to your liking. Why did he have to be so perfect at all the wrong times?  You were tempted, but before your mind could even fathom the taste of his pancakes you remembered how you looked. And you lost all that appetite. You shook your head. “No, thank you.” You replied, taking a small nibble of your hashbrowns.

Gerard really didn’t want to ruin breakfast, but he was also confused, and turning slightly anxious by the moment. You had always enjoyed food, he loved that about you. You were never afraid to try anything new, and the look on your face when you ate your favorite meals was always so genuine and happy. Today it looked just painful.

“Sweetheart,” he spoked up after a moment. You looked up at him. “Is something wrong? Are you alright?”  He wasn’t sure now why he has asked it, seeing your eyes immediately fill with tears and your poor attempt at try to prevent your face from going sour. “Shit.” He muttered to himself, putting his silverware down, and using his free hand to grab yours from across the table.

“I’m just-“ You spoke, with a shaky voice and slow tear trailing down your cheek. You took your free hand and used the sleeve of your hoodie to wipe it off. “It’s so stupid.”  “Honey, whatever you’re feeling is never stupid.” He told you, his face having melted into a puddle of concern. “I’m here to listen, always. You can always tell me anything and everything.”  “I know.” You sniffled a little, taking a deep breath. “Just- seeing you come home and you’ve- you’ve, I don’t know, lost some weight- and you look great! Don’t get me wrong, but I just don’t know why you want me when I look like this and you-“  “Stop.” He said before you could even finish your sentence. You looked up at him with some worry as he sighed. “To begin with, I love your body. I’ve always found you incredibly sexy, and will always think you’re gorgeous even when we’re 80.” He said, “Next, even if your body changes at all, it will never make me stop loving you. I don’t love you just for your body, it’s a wonderful perk you happen to have, but I will always love you for you.” He sighed, “And finally, even if you did gain weight, or your weight shifted to other places, that’s just more of you to love. There is zero downside to that.”

You took a few moments considering his words. “Thanks.” You replied simply, feeling a little more calm but guilty for allowing your feelings to ruin his first day back. “Sorry for-“  “No apologizing for your feelings.” He said again, squeezing your hand. “I love you, and I will always be here to listen to you. Never feel guilty for feeling one way or another, okay?” You nodded. “Now, do you want some of my pancakes.”

You took a deep sigh of defeat. “Yeah.” He smirked, pushing the plate halfway across the table as you removed your hands from each other to go back to holding your silverware.

You took a pretty decent amount, stabbing with your fork and ferociously cutting with your knife. “Fuck these are good.” You grumbled, halfway done chewing them. He chuckled.

“Have as many as you want.” He softly smiled.  “I regret not getting the french toast.” You admitted with a small cringe. “We always share it.”  “You wanna get it to go? We can keep it as a late night snack for later.” You took a moment contemplating his suggestion with a growing smile. You nodded. “Extra strawberries?” He asked with a knowing smile.

“Always.”

#my chemical romance #gerard way #my chem #my chemical gee #my chemical gerard #gerard way x reader #gerard way fanfiction #mcr gerard #gerard way x y/n #gerard way x you #mcr #mcr x reader #mcr fanfiction #gee way #my chemical romance x reader

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starsmuse · 1 year

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neverafter premiere night so here are some thoughts!

emily axford is truly godsent. the relationship she and ally have already crafted between ylfa and timothy, the way she plays this congested prepubescent girl, her backstory scene; god, the entirety of her backstory scene was SO good, though, i don’t know why i’m surprised. emily axford has never been anything shy of perfection and she won’t start now in a season where her ability to act really needs to shine through. also the fact that she’s playing a barbarian, i am so glad i guessed correctly because it’s going to be so fun to watch her play one especially with how they’ve set it up.

lou fucking wilson. i love everything about his character, his backstory which i LOVE that they left for last. this season seems to be one for double intros and he and zac are going to be incredible together i KNOW it. i made a few guesses as to who would be what class and NOTHING could have prepared me for him being a warlock to his stepmother, the way they’re interweaving the fairytales is brilliant i am truly so excited.

zac oyama… i love him with the entirety of my being but i couldn’t help but feel slightly underwhelmed with his backstory scene, like no way he’s just some random little cat that can speak? surely there’s more to him! i love the almost-brotherly relationship pib and pinocchio seem to have but i do have a theory i’ll run by you all: we all know in the disney retelling of cinderella, stepmother has a black cat named lucifer, i wonder if pib is another patron of pinocchio’s stepmother or maybe a familiar of hers sent to watch over pinocchio and ensure he isn’t messing things up. JUST A THOUGHT! if not, i’m genuinely very excited to get more backstory out of this character.

opening the show on siobhan’s introduction was obviously the way to go considering how beautifully she executed her scene. the briars… god, the briars. i have no issue with reading and listening to body horror and brennan painted a vivid word picture with his narration for her, it was all so good. i constantly complain about the intrepid heroes never having a ranger and they’ve finally got one and it’s the damsel princess, i absolutely adore that. i also love that rosamund still has that bit of naivety to her considering in her mind she’s still eighteen and she probably lived a pretty sheltered life all things considered. her simply knowing that there’s a prince out there looking for her and that he is her true love, i can’t wait to see what kind of spin brennan is going to put on this curse and inevitably what kind of curveball he’s going to throw siobhan/rosamund.

murph is playing this vapid and vain prince so well, but i cannot wait to see when he actually gets into this fighting that prince gerard seems to turn his nose up at. the scenes with princess elody were bordering on heartbreaking but still fully leaning into embarrassing on the prince’s part, i have an inkling as to why he’s regressing back into his frog form, as should most, but all in all i think this is going to be a pretty silly character, very cody-esque, one that i’m very excited to see and watch grow nonetheless. also, the whole exchange between prince gerard and princess rosamund, i hadn’t realized how little i’d seen murph and siobhan’s characters interact in previous seasons until i got a full and uninterrupted conversation between the two of them when their characters met and now it’s truly all i want to have them be silly little cousins fighting to protect each other.

finally, the person, the myth, the legend: ally beardsley. i hadn’t really though about how important mother goose would be to the plot as a whole until about a week before today because i know that mother goose is not only a writer of fairytales but the writer of the fairytales, so i really, really enjoyed a lot of timothy’s exposition and how much he cares for children—like ylfa—now that he’s lost his own. like i said before i am thoroughly endeared by the relationship ally and emily have already built between the two of them, and i cannot wait to watch it grow and i’m really excited to see what ally does with this character and where they go.

brennan hasn’t answered any of the questions that were asked about if this season is going to be similar to acoc in terms of lethality or if the pcs have created secondary characters, so i think it’s safe to say we should definitely be cautious considering there are no clerics in this party, but all in all i’m shaking with excitement and the thought of the rest of this season we’ve got like seventeen episodes to go and i think they’re going to be SO much fun.

#dimension 20 #rory talks!#neverafter #rosamund du prix #puss in boots #pinocchio #prince gerard of greenleigh #ylfa snorglesson #timothy goose #mother timothy goose #brennan lee mulligan #d20 #neverafter spoilers

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writersmacchiato · 4 months

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family ties | Gerard Pitts

warning but not really; mentions/alludes to bad home life for reader :(((( but it’s honestly nothing explicitly stated <3 not proof read!!

sidenote: for everyone in the winter season (happy first day of winter btw!!!), I so recommend finding a sunny spot outside and sitting out there with a blanket and a hot drink and soak in the sun.

. . .

Gerard Pitts happens to stumble upon you while you’re sitting on the back steps of the school. A warm blanket draped over you shoulders and protecting you from the chill. The sunlight washes over you in a glow and his heart skips a beat at the beauty you are.

A steaming cup of something rests in your hands, your eyes transfixed on nothing in particular but the cloudless blue sky above you.

Your face is blank, giving nothing away.

Well, to anyone that wasn’t him but he knows you, doesn’t he?

He notices the slump of your shoulders, marring your usual prefect posture. The slight down curve of your lips, the slightest of tension between your brows.

You’re upset and stewing in it.

“Good morning.” He approaches loudly, steps crunching on gravel to announce his presence first.

“Good morning, Pitts.” To your credit, your small smile seems genuine enough so he takes a seat beside you. Arms almost touching, but he doesn’t close the distance. Not yet.

“Lovely morning.” He says, cupping his hands to blow hot air into them. It is very chilly, but the frost covering the ground and trees was beautiful. He could see why you came here often.

You hum in agreement, otherwise motionless from the small sips from your cup.

“How is the family?” He decides to stop beating around the bush.

It’s not a secret, at least to him, that you struggle with the time spent with your family. And that you had a dinner with them yesterday.

You make a noise, somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. “Oh, just the usual dinner and show.”

“And, your sister?”

At the mention of her, you slump against his side, head leaning on his shoulder. Letting out a long groan that makes him laugh.

“The usual, then?” He supplies when you take to silence once more.

He knows that you sit with your thoughts and feelings too much, let them fester within unspoken until it becomes too much. He’s also learning how to slowly creep out the feelings, how to spin the words out. Knows that you trust him in a way you haven’t had before.

“The fucking usual.” You pause, before the words spill out in a sudden rush. “She’s just so… mean! She’s mean all the time! And if I ever try to say anything, she gets mad at me. It’s exhausting being around her because I never know if she will strike out or be nice.”

Pitts moves his arm to wrap around you, in a one sided hug. He’s met your sister and knows how cruel she can be, both intentionally and unintentionally.

“And, then winter break is coming up and I don’t want to be home at all. I hate it there. My parents are already so… them. And my sister is in an extra horrible mood. It will be torture.”

“You know, you’re always welcome to come home with me.” To me.

You allow yourself to indulge the fantasy. Having been to his family’s estate many times before. His mother is very welcoming and kind, his father is somewhat aloof and awkward but in a charming way.

The kitchen would smell like freshly baked cookies, the scent wafting through the house. You could curl up by the fireplace, reading anything you desired from their extensive library.

Traipsing through the woods around the estate, freshly fallen snow making it a winter wonderland. Building snowpeople and and trying to sneak a ball of snow down his coat. Hoping for the coldest temperatures so the pond will freeze frostily for ice-skating, hands numb from cold except where his hands hold yours.

Looking through his wardrobe, selecting his coziest sweaters to wear to bed. Running through the halls in wool socks and seeing who can slide the furthest.

Warm dinners with his family, gathered together. Watching the way the candlelight flickers over his face, sneaking glances and smiling when you catch him doing the same.

Maybe he would kiss you under the mistletoe. Because his family is the type to hang up mistletoe and he would pretend to be oblivious to the fact that he hung up the very plant you now stand under together and you would let him.

“I would like that very much, Gerard Pitts.”

#gerard pitts x reader #dead poets society #dps #dead poets society x reader #dead poets society imagine #dps x reader #dps imagine #gerard pitts #pitts x reader #def wrote this abt my sister bc she’s been getting on my nerve lately with her meaness!!!#halfway through writing this my mom came outside and sat with me and I was like oh hey 🙂🙂#not writing ff rn or anything weird #gerard is my comfort character!!!!!!!!#he’s who I immediately thought of when I got this idea!!!

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kimbap-r0ll · 11 months

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Hello! May I make a silly request? It's about the dorm leaders with a multi-tasker s/o who has the weirdest freaking talents and skills. One moment she's doing mounted archery while tying a cherry stem with her tongue, next time you see her, she's doing a one-arm handstand while painting a portrait.

Hi, thank you for the ask!

Dorm leaders with a (chaotic) multi-tasking s/o

Riddle

He thinks it's really cool that you can multi-task (he says he can do it but in reality he can't)

However he might be a little concerned if you decide to multi-task with more dangerous activities together. He doesn't want to see you doing homework while unicycling for example haha

Overall I feel like he might ask you for some tips on doing multiple things at once or he might lecture you on how you should focus on one thing before moving to another. But he really does think it's cool you can do so many random things at once

Leona

How do you have that energy? Sure if he's motivated enough he might be able to do some things but he just doesn't want to

Doesn't really mind what shenanigans you come up with. You could be juggling fire while cooking and he wouldn't really stop you. However, he might tell you to be careful in a very tsundere way

He's much more lenient than Riddle is on what activities you engage in (he thinks it's your choice). He won't be interested in becoming a multi-tasker but does enjoy watching you from time to time

Azul

Similar to Riddle, he wishes he could multi-task but he can only do that when learning spells and underwater (his octoform helps with this)

Is much more worried about your health than Leona. He will stop you from doing mounted archery and eating a sandwich if he has to because he doesn't want to see you get hurt

Probably more of a strict partner than the rest of them, but he does admire your ability to do a lot of things and not lose track. Hey, maybe you could help out in the lounge he works at!

Kalim

He probably multi-tasks similar to you but also on a chaotic level. You two are probably Jamil's worst nightmare haha

The two of you have definitely flown on the magic carpet while making tea. How this worked is a mystery to everyone

He's super lenient with what activities you engage in. If you ever get hurt or need help though he'll run over. I feel like he would try to do some of the things you do just for the fun of it as well

Vil

"PUT GERARD BACK"

Similar to Azul, Vil is the type to get worried about your wellbeing. If you multi-task without getting hurt or if you just multi-task during studying he doesn't mind. However if you decide that painting and skateboarding is a good idea he'll stop you.

Super strict but understanding to a degree. He doesn't want to control your every movement and does respect your ability to multi-task (Vil can only do that when doing makeup) but doesn't want you to get hurt

Idia

Thinks it's the coolest thing ever if you can tie a cherry stem while on horseback and playing polo haha

Idia's definitely a multi-tasker himself, mainly in the form of watching multiple animes at once while playing video games and studying however. If you're the type of person to do that too, you two will instantly click

He won't stop you but still cares about your health, he's just more on the lenient side. I feel like you two can and would do anime/video game nights a lot together

Malleus

He's not really worried, he's more curious. He wants to know what you are interested in and what you do, also how you multi-task

Malleus might not do a lot of multi-tasking himself because he's not interested in it. However, he does find it fascinating to watch you do random things together at once, it's sort of like a new side of the world he's never really experienced.

He might ask you to teach him some tricks or activities your interested in. However, as a fae he knows that he's more durable than humans are and because of that he might worry for your wellbeing from time to time.

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cassius-the-kitten · 6 months

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DDADDS as Content Creators (headcanons)

I don't know why I had this idea, but here you go!

have some content-creating DDADDS :3

Brian Harding

technically Brian doesn’t have a channel. Daisy just records him and posts it to TikTok.

it is all camping, fishing, and general outdoors videos. except the lawncare videos, which are actual tutorials.

Daisy actually makes these tiktoks look really nice and high-quality, even if Brian is not that good of an actor. he’s trying his best, but it actually works. surprisingly, she never really shows up on camera. it’s all Brian here

has a lot of fans of his fishing for… aesthetic reasons. yeah, aesthetic reasons. the aesthetic reason being that he is shirtless in almost all of them. and that he is obviously very confident in his body.

his lawncare videos get the same amount of views, but for vastly different reasons. all of the lawn-caring dads enter his TikTok comment section whenever he posts and they either compliment him or start discourse on which weedwhacker is the best.

surprisingly, Brian has some of the most followers out of all of the dads. he even ends up doing some lawn equipment giveaways.

Craig Cahn

it’s all fitness all day with Craig. he has a TikTok and an Instagram.

he posts a lot about his business, softball coaching, healthy recipes, and once again fitness.

he has fallen for the “can you fitness dick in your mouth” joke at least 12 times by now. he keeps falling for it. help him please

completely avoids drama not only to keep away extra stress, but also because there’s literally nothing you can really yell at him for. unless you hate his recipes

probably has a series where he tries out a bunch of popular healthy recipes and rates them on a 5-star scale.

he has a LOT of followers for a LOT of reasons. good video quality, good recipes, he’s entertaining, a good father, and all of the softball moms\dads love him.

Damien Bloodmarch

plenty of Victorian recipes, fashion, and general taxidermy. he’s got a Youtube channel and a Tiktok, but he’s more comfortable with the YouTube format.

he edits all of his videos and he’s Really, Really good at it to the point where he offers to edit videos for other dads. so he’s both a YouTuber and a freelance editor.

probably gets the most sponsorships out of all the dads

has a very welcoming and kind community that he interacts with over Tumblr and Reddit. he has a Twitter but he just doesn’t use it

his space is 100% drama-free. unless you are arguing about historical accuracy.

he has an entire series rating the historical accuracy of anything Victorian; from clothes to books to recipes and more. it doesn’t stop. he will post these forever.

he manages to make a LOT of money off of this, to the point where he gets to quit his IT job altogether and gets to have more fun.

Damien really loves getting recognized by fans and always expresses his appreciation in his videos whenever he can.

Lucien shows up in his food videos sometimes, but only to eat the food and to mildly bully him on-camera. the comments call him low-rent Gerard Way and he does Not appreciate it.

Hugo Vega

he has a small YouTube channel that consists of book reviews and nothing else. until he eventually gains more popularity, that is.

there is very, very little editing on the earlier videos and it shows. Ernest refuses to help him. all of his students refuse to help him. dadsona cannot help him. please help him. he cannot edit

he uploads very rarely (once a month, maybe twice during summer months), but his videos are actually very well-scripted and well-performed. sometimes Ernest comes in to purposefully ruin his recording session, and it works every time.

eventually he somehow manages to bag Damien as his editor, and the video quality goes up significantly from there. Damien even buys Hugo better equipment and gives him advice.

he started out covering just older lesser-known works from the 18th century. somewhere along the way, he made a single video on poorly written YouTuber books and it Exploded in popularity. that’s when he started shifting towards being a bit more of a commentary channel, with Damien’s technological help of course.

some people have called him “the old librarian version of Kurtis Conner” and he doesn’t know what it means until he looks up Kurtis Conner. then he understands.

somehow he becomes well-versed in internet discourse and makes videos about it, with full-length video essays of a pretty high quality.

he doesn’t forget his literature roots, though — he still makes plenty of content on literature and art history, even if they make less views. he enjoys doing it and that’s what matters.

he always blushes when he gets recognized in public and he is way too polite to turn down a signature or photo. one time a wrestler he likes recognized him and he almost fainted from pure joy.

Joseph Christiansen

by far the most controversial of all. (\j its Robert)

just kidding it’s all baking. his TikTok is just a gay tradwife’s dream.

the man is just trying to be hip with the kids. he even dresses up as Ken after the Barbie movie premiere and makes a cake about it. this is actually his most popular video and it gets millions of views & likes

his community is Christian. mainly because he’s Christian. just that sometimes he attracts the mean Christians. he gets a lot of hate comments from them but he just deletes them and moves on with minimal worry or stress

besides that, his community is pretty supportive and full of a combo Christian mothers and Christian queers. most of his audience are 25+ but there is a sizeable portion that is under the age of 25, so technically he got what he wanted

the videos are of a fine quality, even though he’s not really an editor. like everyone else who can’t edit themselves, he just asks Damien very nicely to edit for him

he shows his kids in videos semi-often, but it’s really just because they either mess with him while he’s recording and he doesn’t know how to edit it out, or he has them try the food afterwards. it’s a win-win scenario for the kids

Mary refuses to show her face in any of the videos whatsoever and steers clear of the kitchen whenever Joseph is recording in there.

the kids at church all know him from his TikTok but either say nothing about it or actively make fun of him for it.

Mat Sella

posts baking and recipes to TikTok, along with promotion stuff for The Coffee Spoon. it was Carmensita’s idea and he just ran with it because it’s fun for both of them

Carmensita is the one behind the camera (or tripod) while Mat bakes, and sometimes she appears on camera when she wants to try the food. Pablo helps him edit and do other promotional videos. sometimes Pablo is seen helping in the videos too.

he always gets really anxious after posting it but the second that the positive comments and likes roll in, he’s completely relaxed.

any food he bakes on TikTok he sells at the Coffee Spoon, so it’s actually extremely useful at getting people to come and buy stuff. eventually people are mostly coming over for the food but also order a coffee because “may as well”

has a very positive comments section that consists mostly of people really wanting to go to Massachusetts just to order the food and give him a kiss on the forehead.

he has been called a babygirl at least twice and he has no clue what it means. Pablo and Carmensita refuse to tell him.

has done multiple collabs with Joseph and Damien, along with sharing tips with them. they’re all internet besties.

is recognized pretty often, and he’s always in-between being an anxious mess and being a really cool chill guy about it.

Robert Small

by far the least consistent and most unhinged out of all of them, for obvious reasons. he’s a TikToker solely because the format is easy for him, but he also just uploads all of his content straight to YouTube

he either posts 5 times a day or twice a month. there’s no in between.

it will be of the most random shit. one day you get him rating brands of whiskey, and next week there’s a 12 part series of him going cryptid hunting. all of it is unedited and of very poor audio quality if he’s outside

he probably visited the Goatman’s Bridge after the Buzzfeed Unsolved and also bullied the Goatman and took the bridge for himself. the only difference is that he’s drunkenly yelling at the Goatman and calling him a bitch.

he’s always at least a little intoxicated in all of his videos, and some cases he is fully drunk. he doesn’t really put an act on for the camera, he’s really just himself, completely unfiltered.

90% of his YouTube videos are either age-restricted, demonetized, or both. some of his TikToks get taken down but he always reuploads them because he is a very stubborn old man and he refuses to stop.

Robert probably has a maximum of 200 followers. he does not respond to his comments unless someone insults his whiskey or pineapple on pizza. he also responds to weird internet slang.

he doesn’t get any sponsorships. and he never will. and he doesn’t want them. the sponsorships also don’t want him. he has made multiple videos where he goes on rants about ads and how much he hates capitalism.

whenever someone in his TikTok comments calls him a blorbo he responds with a video of his honest reaction. he is confused. they also call him a poor little meow meow. he is confused. they also call him babygirl. he is still confused.

when he gets recognized in public he has no clue how to act. mainly because he very, very rarely gets recognized. his own neighbors are surprised when they find out he is a content creator.

eventually he will get recognized more, because his content is a comedy goldmine, albeit very unintentional. most of his fans are actually Gen Z, because his humor fits in pretty damn well. he is always slightly unsettled when teenagers recognize him because sometimes he forgets that young people do in fact watch his content. even though most of his viewers are half his age or less.

eventually Val finds his channel and dies laughing and confronts him about it (post reconnecting), because she never knew about it and she wants to be in those videos too because it’s fun. just some father & daughter fun: getting drunk and taking a walk in the forest being silly.

I actually really love doing these headcanons and i hope you do too :3

#ddadds #dream daddy a dad dating simulator #dream daddy #game grumps #ddadds headcanons #dream daddy headcanons #headcanons #general headcanons #ddadds fanart #hugo vega #robert small #brian harding #craig cahn #joseph christiansen #damien bloodmarch #mat sella

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