#also the mice were very cute. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sunshine-and-moonshine · 11 months

Text

Cod With Monster!Reader

Requested: No

Warnings: Reader is described with some monster features depending on which character, blood drinking, Reader is dead in Ghost’s section, descriptions of blood and a slit throat, a decent amount of spice Soap’s along with some dub-con, also mentions of eating human flesh, Reader is described with a green dress in Soap’s part because it’s part of the mythology that I read, Reader remains Gn though.

A/N: This is the post I got way too into. Soap’s especially is….way too goddamn long.

Price - House Spirit

Price first met you when he moved into his new home. He was annoyed when he thought he had mice, what sounded like their little claws scurrying all under the floorboards and in the cellar, unaware that that was just you moving about. So preoccupied with his own worries, he never wondered how dust never seemed to collect in home, despite him being gone for months at a time, how his clothes and sheets always smelled clean and unwrinkled, or how his dressers were always full despite not actually having done his laundry since he moved in.

It all comes to a head one day when he was home on leave and decided to check his cellar for the first time in the whole 3 years he’d technically lived here. Unfortunately for you, you didn’t even know he’d come home that day and were too busy reorganizing your little nest in the back corner of the room to hear the door open or his heavy footsteps coming down the steps. Not until you could feel his bewildered gaze staring holes into the back of your head.

Things from there were….tense. He wanted to believe that you were some strange person who was either trying to rob him or maybe someone who was suffering mentally and was confused. Something that didn’t fuck up his entire concept of reality and what was real and myth. That was, until he got a good look at your little horns, your long and floppy, almost bunny like, ears, and the swishing tail behind you. He promptly backed himself up the stairs and slammed the door to the cellar shut.

It took another week or so before he went back into the cellar, but this time you were hidden away from his eyes. It took some coaxing from him to get you to reveal yourself, promises that he wouldn’t hurt you or try and force you to leave. Once you did come out, he was all questions, what you were, why you were here, why you were staying in the fucking cellar of all places when he had a bed he didn’t even sleep in when he was home.

After that, things were a bit rocky but….almost domestic. He enjoyed coming home and seeing your ears perk up so cutely when he walked through the door, or how your tail swished a bit faster when he greeted you kindly. Overall, he enjoys your presence and it’s no skin off his back if you want to do all the cleaning that he can’t be bothered with on his few lazy days. Or if you feel like cooking for him when he comes home. Or if you wake him from his ptsd induced nightmares, touching his face and holding his hand, making him warm tea and something to eat to help stop his shaking.

The only thing he insists on is that you move out of the cellar and into an actual room.

Gaz - Dullahan

Gaz met you when he was lost in the woods, a chopper having crashed and left him stranded in the middle of nowhere. He was thirsty and hungry, having run out of emergency rations and water days ago, with nothing nearby to help him. He was on Death’s door, his eyes heavy, his stomach long since having stopped it’s rumbling, body weak and feeling like lead. But, as his eyes began to close, he heard the strangest thing just before he lost consciousness.

The beating of hooves on the ground beside him.

When he came to, Gaz was feeling significantly less thirsty and weak, but still very much tired. The warmth of whatever he was laying on brought him a sense of ease and relaxation.

Until he registered that what he was laying on was ever so subtly moving up and down. At the same time that he made this realization, something cold and wet nudged at the palm of his hand, making him shoot upright. Whatever it was startled at this and snorted almost angrily, making him lose his balance and fall back.

What he saw only confused him. A large black horse with a long mane and tail, it’s eyes completely white and leaving him feeling cold every time he looked into them.

And then a voice, your voice, calling out to the giant creature. “Dubhshláine, come.” You said, and it did, but not before sniffing at Gaz’s face one more time before it trotted over to your side. Then Gaz was pushing himself back up, eyes searching for the source of the voice, almost shouting when he saw the headless body that was petting the snout of the great beast.

It took….a while for you to calm him down, frantically trying to keep him from running, your voice shouting from somewhere that he needed to calm down and that he shouldn’t move when he was like this. But his struggle only ended when he was practically dry heaving in your arms, dizzy from trying to exert himself like that when he was recovering from dehydration and starvation.

Things went a bit smoother after that, at least, once you reattached your head and offered him some berries and meat that he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to eat, despite you insisting that it was just goose. He did end up eating it though, if only to stave off the incessant rumbling of his belly. And that night, as he let you guide him into a cave and helped him into a large pile of warm furs, you promised him that you’d help him get home.

But he couldn’t help but think that going home meant he’d never be able to hear your soothing voice again.

Ghost - Poltergeist

Ghost is someone who goes to thrift stores every once and a while. A habit of his, as he doesn’t like to spend too much money, and part of him likes to see what sort of things other people have collected and gotten rid of over the years. Priceless things and useless things alike. Normally he sticks to buying little, only things he needs, like a cheap and worn t-shirt because his last one finally became too ripped to wear in public.

But on that day, something else caught his eye. A simple and small Jade necklace tied on a black string. His fingers brush over it, running his thumb over the hole in the middle where the string was tied. Ghost should have known something was wrong then, as he never took interest in jewelry. Ever.

The owner seemed to take notice of his attention and told him to just take it, as it had been sitting on the rack for ages, longer than he could remember. What he didn’t tell Ghost was that people constantly avoided it, avoided even looking at it, even the owner himself. It instilled a sense of dread and fear, and made people’s hearts race. The owner had tried to simply throw it out but it ended up right back on that rack, time and time again. And if it wasn’t making this strange masked man uncomfortable then he was more then welcome to take the fucking thing off of his hands.

Ghost is surprised at the offer but accepts after a moment of hesitation. The necklace becomes sort of a good luck charm for him, and he rarely, if ever, takes it off. It’s always so warm against him (it grew almost scorching whenever he took off his clothes), making him feel a sense of security that he wasn’t sure that he ever felt before.

But soon things…changed. He noticed that if he neglected to touch the necklace for a certain length of time, things would happen around him. Things moving from where he left them, pictures falling from walls, objects jumping off of shelves. Like a brat throwing a temper tantrum after being denied attention. It was something that he brushed off time and time again as the wind or loose nails or whatever other thing he could think of. Ghost didn’t believe in the paranormal.

At least, he didn’t. But when he wakes up in the middle of the night to hands oh so gently petting his face and chest, an eerie and croaky sounding cry echoing quietly in the room, he starts to believe just a little bit. His eyes slowly peek open when your hand on his face drifts down to cup the back of his neck, your other hand going from his chest to his hip as you press soft and sweet kisses to his chest, focusing particularly around the necklace that laid in the center of his skin. He only got a good look at you when you started rubbing your cheek against his clavicle, that same noise as earlier coming from your mouth.

And god when he saw you.

Your throat was slit open, that much he could make out, wide and deep, so deep that it must have damaged your vocal cords, which explained why you sounded so croaky. The blood from the cut was all down your front, staining your once white t-shirt and the panties that adorned your body. And you looked almost see through, but Ghost could certainly feel how corporeal you were.

Ghost’s eyes quickly shut again when you started to move, straddling his hips as you pressed those same kisses to his face before curling yourself against him, burying your face into his neck. You seemed…..lonely, almost. And Ghost decided he could work with lonely, especially when he had been left feeling the same way for the longest time.

Soap - Baobhan sith

It was a stupid wish, made in the dead of night, when he was lonely and sleep deprived on a mission in the middle of nowhere, his comrades sleeping around him on the forest floor while he took the watch shift. It was a wish for companionship, to not be as lonely as he often felt. Sure, he had the 141, but the 141 were family. Not a lover that would hold him tight, press kisses to his lips, tell him that he was loved and cherished.

And that was when you appeared. He didn’t see you at first, too lost in his own thoughts. You only caught his attention when you shifted, your curious and mischievous eyes peeking out at him from behind a tree trunk. He was stunned for lack of a better word, especially when you came out fully, your long green dress dragging on the ground. What were you doing out here?

He called for you quietly, his voice full of concern. Were you hurt? Looking for help? Lost? He stepped closer but you stepped back, gesturing for him to follow you, to chase you. And it was stupid that he listened. He was a soldier and he was leaving his sleeping comrades defenseless. He shouldn’t have set his gun down and took off after you, no matter how worried he was. But something about you was clouding his judgment, making him lose his way.

He stumbled through brambles and branches, through bushes and mud, your giggling the only sign that he was even going the right way. And then finally, a break in the darkness. A little homey cottage, the sudden light almost feeling blinding to his retinas. But when he opened his eyes again, you were there, excitedly beckoning him again, coaxing him into what was supposedly your house.

Soap knew he should turn back, should wake away, but his body only moved forward, his mind a fog of confused desire as you pulled him in for a kiss, your back pressed against the door. He was putty under your touch, just waiting to be molded into whatever shape you wished for, whatever shape pleased you best.

And apparently what pleased you was having him under you on your soft bed, riding his cock for your pleasure and your pleasure only, batting away his hands every time he tried to touch you. He was desperate for it, for more of you, like you were a drug he’d never be able to come back from, that he’d never stop craving.

And then you came and all he could think of was how you were pulling away, how wanting he was, how he couldn’t let you leave him like this. He didn’t notice the red in your eyes or how sharp your teeth became, how you started to go for his wide open neck, his blood pumping so deliciously fast for you.

And then you were flipped, so distracted by the thought of your own meal that you didn’t notice that he’d grabbed you until it was too late. He pushed your face into the pillows as you started to wiggle, his other hand clenching the meat of your hip tightly to keep you still as he plowed back into you, making you cry out in surprise and pleasure.

He’s overcome with the need for his own pleasure. With the need to drown himself in the pleasure your body gave him. His cock was twitching, he was so close. So so close. He needed it, needed it more than he needed the air in his lungs. He leaned in-

And you screamed.

Your cry was loud and sharp, like a banshee’s wail ringing in his ears. It shattered the haze in his mind, sent the wool flying from his eyes. He looked down and he saw your skin steaming from where his dog tags had touched your back. You seemed relieved with them gone, your body shaking under him, snarling at him over your shoulder.

It clicked for him suddenly, everythinh falling into place like one horrible puzzle that was missing its final piece. He’d grown up on old stories and legends of creatures that harmed humans, ate them down to their bones but were repelled by iron. His tags were steel, so he supposed they were close enough to iron to merit their effect on you.

You watched him. He watched you.

And then all at once he was moving again, finding your little squeak of surprise both amusing and cute. You were confused but he had never been more certain in his life. As he used you like his own personal whore, his mind was made up. You were his now. You couldn’t leave him. You were the first person in so long to take away the loneliness, the pain.

He flipped you onto your back, holding your hands above your head with one hand as the other whipped his dog tags over his head, wrapping them around your wrists as you hissed at him, bucking wildly. It only served to impale you further on his cock, making him groan with delight before his mouth was on your skin, nails raking down your sides now that you were successfully restrained. And he didn’t stop til you were a drooling whimpering mess on his cock, his cream dripping from your sore hole as he pressed kisses along your face and hands. Showing you how good he could please you and take care of you.

And then, you’d come with him, right? You chose him that night in the woods, and he chose you right back. Except instead of a quick meal, you ended up with a Sergeant who was head over heels for you and refused to leave you out in your woods all alone.

At least he was cute.

952 notes · View notes

crustyfloor · 12 days

Text

Link to the translated Q&A Vivinos and Qmeng had recently.

....Guess that means it'll be very long (hopefully) and very good? honestly just scared for what round 7 will bring, it's probably gonna be the last round in the series, and with all the tension buildup this'll be stressful i assume

Yeah, Luka was set to be a popular figure from the jump, there was no way his trick with the Sua imitation was more than just a power trip (Or just a genuine mental break on Mizi's part). because either way with the way Mizi was holding herself up during round 5, she stood 0 chance against him.

Luka, just like the others doesn't actually have real control over his position in Alien stage. So in order to set that boundary for himself and others he uses his presence and the stage because, in any other context, he is simply just a tool and a frail (old) man. (And he has in-universe stans how beautiful)

More Luka lore please vivinos....

Kinda glad this got changed, because imagine this cute guy gradually turning into the Ivan we know now and then doing the shit he did in round 6? then doing the dream face reveal showing that he never truly changed, he just had a mask on. that shit would be 10x more devastating (even though the way it is now is just as devastating) Ivan and Luka twins?? And Sua has been queen since birth love her. she keeps winning.

Augh...it is true though. Aliens and humans are just far to vast in traits to relate to each other on such a level, this reminds me of Mizi and Guardian Shine. Guardian Shine might've been the only guardian shown in the alien stage cast to actually be kind. She even seemed to be crying when she had to send Mizi away to go to Anakt(?). I find it kinda sweet though, that the ones who do actually care really show it and try even if they can't understand their pets that well.

But I also like the more grim side to it, because when you don't understand something specifically another being in this case you're less likely to have sympathy for it. Humans and Aliens don't have any relatable traits so whatever these aliens do to the humans whether for self-pleasure or such. And lab-mice? that confirms lab-rat theory. Alien stage crew were all just succesful experiments and the bad batch are kept behind for further testing i theorize. but its still pretty vague so we'll see. hopefully things get more grim ((

......What are you hiding Vivinos. (she rlly said do your homework....okay mum...i will catch you...)

(NOT AGAIN WITH THE DEAD WIFE PARALLEL MIZI IS NOT HIS WIFE-)

"Ivan is the perfect man" 😭 I love the details of round 6 clothing so much, even i got that superior or dominating aura from Ivan when I first saw him in round 6, there wasn't really much to his outfit but the way he carried himself in it kinda just gave off that idea that he's the one in control here. but gradually, we can see that facade fade as he got more into his feelings the more he sang and sunk down to a level where he was most natural.

#alien stage #alnst #qmeng #vivinos #alnst round 6 #alien stage ivan #alien stage till #alien stage sua #alien stage mizi #alien stage luka #kinda sad....no hyuna info...i wanted to hear about here ;<;#ivan i miss u come back home #till i miss u come back home the kids miss you too please #no questions to be seen about the april 5th kiss scene or till's feelings on ivan i wonder why

179 notes · View notes

pigeonpeach · 4 months

Text

Cuddles for my Love!

Summary: You are turned into a cat and desperately try to get your lover to notice and help.

Characters included: Diluc, Jean, Itto, Neuvillete

No cw just silly cat times

In a puff of smoke you looked down at your hands finding no more than paws. You were alarmed to say the least! A potion you had ordered, intended to help with some back pain, had instead turned you into a kitty cat! A very cute one yes but still! At least your back doesn’t hurt. But you must inform your lover and request help!

Diluc

“Hm a cat?” Diluc seemed confused as he opened the door to his office to be greeted with a meowing cat. He didn’t recognize it. “Adelinde did suggest getting cats to prevent mice.. or maybe you’re one of the maid’s cats?” He questions as you meow demandingly. You paw at his leg.

“Oh you must be hungry. There aren’t much mice here anyways. I’ll get you something little one.” He knelt down to scratch your ears. Oooh that felt good no! You must focus!

“Oh? Is something wrong little one?” He asked as you meowed excessively. “You must be very hungry.” Quickly he left to go to the kitchen making you follow him while meowing. You realized you had no chance of communicating with him so you decided to try a different way. You spotted a photo of you and Diluc and hopped onto the vanity, you grasped the photo in your kitty mouth and hopped back down. You trotted over to Diluc who was examining some fish Adelinde had been preparing, sneakily carving some off. Your meow was muffled as you lay the picture in front. Then scratch at his leg. He looks down.

“Oh now why would you do that?” He said a bit disappointed. “That’s my favorite photo.” He pouted as you meowed trying to somehow communicate to him your struggles.

“Oh.. did they send you? I got it, you must have been a gift for our anniversary tomorrow. I guess you broke out of your hiding spot.” He smiled. You however were now more annoyed but also concerned because you almost forgot your anniversary was tomorrow. You meowed more but to no avail. He just patted you.

“Such a beautiful cat, you look a bit like them oddly enough. Your eyes are… a similar color?” He seemed to finally take notice. You meowed encouragingly. You batter the photo and tried to point to yourself.

“Hmm… you seem oddly intelligent for a simple cat… if you can understand me then.. spin clockwise.” He said curiously. You did so excited to finally have established communication! You’re closer to telling him!

“Oh! You can? What kind of cat are you then? Um… if you know where my beloved is then roll over.” He instructed. You did so. He seemed intrigued. “Huh. Well then lead me to them.” You quickly trotted over to a mirror as a idea came to you. You batted at your reflection as you looked back up at him. He seemed skeptical but confused. He knelt down to observe you as you bumped your face into his, giving him a kitty kiss. He seemed to understand then.

“Oh.. I’ll bring you to Lisa then, She should know what do from here.”

Jean

You were so miserable, the maids in your shared home simply considered you a cute and needy cat. Saying how pleased Jean would be to have a friendly cat. You had one choice: escape and find Jean. Or Lisa. albedo? Just find Jean first! You know where she is, her office as always. You spotted a window and crawled out onto the roof. You noticed how far up you were as you felt a bit scared. You knew cats could make long jumps.. but you were so sca-

“Kitty!” A excited voice exclaimed. You heard someone landing behind you as you turned to see Amber putting away her wind glider. “Ohhh you must be lost! I’ll take you to the knights, we’ll find your owner don’t worry!” She said. Great! You can hitch a ride on her and get right to Jean

Unfortunately Amber didn’t let you leave the designated library spot. With the diligent maid Noelle watching over to make surd you didn’t run off. You tried to plead with her to let you go, you were so close to Jean! You needed to see her! Worse of all Lisa wasn’t here!

“Oh you must be hungry. Unfortunately I don’t have any snacks on me.” Noelle cooed trying to calm you. You meowed in distress trying to make it to the library door. “No no no you must stay here! Your owner will be coming shortly. Don’t worry you’re safe.”

You begrudgingly sat as you tried to wait for her to not be looking. Meanwhile she stroked your back, it felt really nice though. You relaxed a little. Overtime she started to read the rule books diligently. You tested out her focus by getting up to stretch. She didn’t seem to acknowledge it. You then took a step away, before sprinting at full speed to the door. Immediately Noelle shot up to follow.

“Wait! Did I startle you! I didn’t mean to I’m sorry!” She said worriedly. You looked back to her realizing you couldn’t open the door. You gave her your cutest pleading face. She pondered. “Hmm.. maybe you know where your home is? Is that it?” She asked. You nodded to her surprise. She opened the door as you quickly walked over to jean’s office. She seemed hesitant. “Oh no we can’t disturb her! She’s always busy at work!” She whispered panicked. You let out s loud meow as you scratched at the door. She quickly pulled you away, then the door opened as Jean stood there. Immediately you squirmed away from Noelle to Jean.

“There she is.” You heard the familiar voicd of Lisa behind her. Jean seemed relieved to see you as Noelle seemed worried.

“Don’t worry Noelle you didn’t do anything wrong. Thank you for watching over them. I’ll handle it from here.” She said quickly bringing you into her office. Lisa seemed to be preparing a potion.

“Yes dear, unfortunately I used the wrong ingredient for your potion, but I hope you had some fun as a kitty.” Lisa said patting your head. Jean seemed a bit upset though.

“I’ve been looking for you. Lisa informed me of her mistake but by then you had already ran away.” She held you put letting you dangle. You meowed defensively making her smile. “Its fine now though, you’re here.” She gave you a kiss making you shut up.

She sat you on her desk as Lisa continued brewing the remedy. You immediately used this opportunity to cuddle with your wife who seemed pleased now.

“Next time don’t give the maids such trouble. You had me so worried.”

“Next time? Are you implying you would rather this happen again?” Lisa playfully added.

“No that’s not what I meant.. just I’m glad you’re safe.” She said brushing you lovingly. You meowed in reply, purring contentedly.

Arataki Itto

“HEY GUYS LOOK AT THIS CAT!” Itto proudly displayed you, now a cat like a trophy to his buds. You meowed in annoyance.

“A cat? Where did you get that?” Kuki questioned.

“I don’t know it just walked over to me meowing constantly. I figured the fella must like me!” He said. “Oh you know what? My beautiful partner would love this cat! Do you know where they went Kuki?” He said. She looked at you as you continued meowing.

“I have a idea…” she says. “Hand me the cat.” She said

“Huh? No way its MY kitty! It chose me! See its meowing because its happy!” He says while you meow trying to tell him to listen to Kuki. Unfortunately he doesn’t speak cat.

“You’re holding it wrong, here.” She grabbed you from his arms, holding you properly.

“Hey!” He whined. You meowed again to which she shushed you.

“You idiot, this isn’t a normal cat. Your partner got transformed!” She said annoyed as she examined you.

“Hah?” He said confused.

“I’ll take you to the shrine and have you fixed don’t worry.” She said.

“Huh? I didn’t know they offered neutering at the Grand Narukami Shrine?” You meowed in annoyance. At least Shinobu knew what she was doing.

Neuvillete

“Such a peculiar feline.” He remarked as you rubbed against him. He seemed to analyze you carefully. “Hmm… it appears you’ve been transformed.” He says, you’re surprised he understood so quickly, but you suppose he is used to these things more. He is a dragon after all.

“Sedene?” He called out. The melusine came trotting in as she looked at you confused.

“Oh? What has happened to your beloved? Why they like this?” She asked.

“I’m not sure, but please request the mage Emilie to come here as soon as possible. I’m sure she’d be able to undo this.” He says, gently stroking your fur to help you relax.

“On it. But… I’m not sure where she is. I’ll find out.” She says. “Oh and heres your water, special from Mondstadt’s springs!” She says bringing out a bottle. He smiles.

“Thank you Sedene.” He says as she quickly heads off. He turns to you, scratching your chin.

“I’m sorry dear but I don’t have experience in undoing these kinds of spells. But I assure you I understand your struggle. I ask you simply relax now. There’s nothing you can do right now so just relax. I’ll handle everything.” He said sweetly. You let out meow in agreement, making yourself comfortable on the paper on his desk. He chuckled.

“Sweetheart I need that.” He said trying to pull it out. You didn’t budge, you didn’t know why but this paper was really comfortable. “Dear, I know you can still understand me, please just stand up.” He sighed. Eventually giving up.

“Are you hungry my dear? I don’t think I could bring you your usual foods but I could request some tasty fish.” He said. You meowed to confirm it. You were quite hungry. strangely fish sounded good right now. He smiled as he called for his assistant once more.

The second your fish came you stood to receive it. Neuvillete seizing the opportunity to rearrange your makeshift bed, taking the important documents and replacing them with some unnecessary ones. You happily chowed down. Purring as you enjoyed some tasty fish. You looked back briefly to watch him pretend he did nothing, but you heard him. Still the fish was too tasty and you continued to eat. He pet you lovingly as he continued with his work. Once finished you immediately set your sights on once again taking up his attention, you jumped back onto the desk sitting yourself right on the paper he was working on. He sighed.

“You’re as needy as ever, but I can’t resist that cute little face.” He said giving you a nice chin scratch. “Hopefully Emilie can come soon, otherwise I may never get work done.”

371 notes · View notes

cyyfics · 8 months

Note

hi! do you write for evil marcy? hcs about her would be nice :D

————-

Evil Marcy Dating Hc’s

Pairing: Evil! Marcy x reader

Warning(s): NSFW! At end. Kindve toxic?? She’s kinda obsessed w u but also not rly ?? Idk

Note: I totally forgot she existed oh my glob yuh I write for her ^_^

Second Note: I didn’t know wether or not to make the reader a human or a vampire ?? But I ultimately chose human in the end..

Gender stuff: mainly gn, some afab and some amab terms at end. Each bit seperate!

———-

Sfw

- she teases you. Just for a bit of playful fun, maybe she will go and say something just to fluster you, or she will find some other way to turn your cheeks red.

- she loves it when you blush, finds it cute, but sort’ve in a demeaning way. ‘It’s so cute when the blood of a human rushes to their face.’ Marceline thinks to herself often when she teases you.

- she is super duper protective of you, you and her both know that yes she’s super powerful and rules over practically everyone- but she can’t help but be just a tad bit worried that some greedy underling would possibly eat her plaything if she let it out of her sight. (Same thing that happened to her fries. /j)

- she will keep you in her bedroom most of the time, just not wanting you to get hurt out there. Of course she will still let you out though, as long as she’s with you, if you went alone who knows what would happen? You’d probably get eaten.

- she pampers you heaps, maybe like one would do to their pet however. She would find food for you to eat, obviously you can’t eat the same things as her so she has to go out often to find stuff for you. In any other universe you’d find the food she gives you to be disgusting and revolting, but since you were used to the harsh (and alternate) world you were in- it was actually like eating a meal at a five star restaurant.

- In that universe food for everyone is scarce and what food that’s left for humans is normally rotted or doesn’t exist anymore. The food that exists in that universe now is stuff like rats/mice that you were lucky to find, and water which you’d have to manually filter the gross stuff out of. If you didn’t, you’d get sick, and with the universe being the way it was- there’d be no medicine to help if you got sick. And you’d probably die.

- speaking on that- Marceline also forces lowly vampires to get you food as well, she will check that it is not suspicious in any way before letting you eat it though. And if she finds something that looks somewhat off? Like maybe a bruise on some fruit, or a slight discolouration to meat, they will be met with an instant death. A snap to the neck before she rips their head off. No one will harm you.

- the king doesn’t love your relationship all that much, finds that you’re a nuisance. In all honesty he’s very worried that you may soften Marceline too much, but that’s actually not true at all. In fact you’d brought something new out of her, with the way she would instantly kill anyone and anything for you.

- the two of you fell in love one day by accident actually, the two of you were just around the same area at the same time. She was soaring above the skies and spotted you, flying down at you like a hawk and about to quickly eat you.

- somehow she didn’t, you don’t really know for sure why she didn’t but when she finally came down to bite you she just couldn’t. Her eyes met yours, and she hissed right in your face just before she left.

- you saw her again, because this time you just had to. You had to know why she let you go that one time, especially with a reputation of killing every single human she comes into contact with.

- she saw you too, not coming out to talk to you but just letting you stay alive out there. She was getting ready in her mirror, thinking to herself about you as a vein pulsed just above her eyebrow in annoyance. ‘Stupid human, what do they think they’re doing?’

- but again. She found herself letting you live.

- and that’s what kept happening, you’d find ways to run into her and talk with her and she’d actually respond sometimes. Other times she’d hiss and fly away, but the times that she did respond just made your relationship stronger.

- she likes kissing you, everywhere and any time. She likes kissing your lips, your flushed cheeks, your neck- you know you probably shouldn’t let her kiss there. But she adores it. She finds it oh so cute how you’d trust your puny little human life in her hands, oh how easy it’d be to just kill you.. but she doesn’t, she simply pecks the area as she hugs your waist

- most of her minions and just people in general that she just rules over have respect for you, I know I said that a lot would try to eat you but that’s because her people are starving. Some of them can’t help it. But the ones who can show respect to you just as they would for their queen.

- Marceline wishes you were meaner to people, but instead you’re just soft- but whenever you get angry or annoyed at something- oh she’s just fawning over you.

- “you stupid thing! Don’t you ever knock?! Get out before I stake you!” You hiss as a henchman turns the doorknob, catching you together with Marceline. Marceline’s face softens as she looks at you with adoration, right before she gives you a mischievous smirk.

- “didn’t know you had it in you to be so mean.” She giggles to herself “was that mean?” You ask dumbfounded not even realising that you had just chewed out that man- “very. And I loved it.” And she pulls you into a kiss in her arms.

- she likes to dress you up, likes to doll you up in her clothes and have you sit there looking pretty for her. She likes to stare at you when you’re just doing things, her darkened eyes just curious with what you’re doing constantly.

- if you ever try to jump scare her, she will find it cute and laugh at you. If you succeed? She will be so proud of you.

Nsfw

Warning(s): biting, blood, period blood talk AT END so avoid that if ur not into that at all, there’s also talks abt her being into scaring you and u being like scared idk what kinda kink that is

- she teases you. Degrades you.

- she loves degrading you actually, but more in a teasing and humiliating way than a mean way.

- on the other hand though, she also likes to praise you. It depends on how she feels at the time.

- Again. (She likes kissing your lips, your flushed cheeks, your neck- you know you probably shouldn’t let her kiss there. But she adores it. She finds it oh so cute how you’d trust your puny little human life in her hands, oh how easy it’d be to just kill you..) but in a lewd way.

- she plays with your fear, it excites her and it excites you- every time her fangs hover over your neck it makes a shiver go down your spine. She can feel that you’re scared and she loves it.

- has a prey/predator kink, she likes to let you run outside and then she likes to chase after you. Maybe some other vampires will occasionally wanna chase after you too, but she will easily kill them before ‘capturing’ you and returning you to her sweet bed.

- she will ravage you. In a good way.

- she WILL pounce on you.

- she’s the kind of girl to push you on the bed roughly and take you whenever she wishes. (And you too obviously)

- if you don’t wanna have sex and she roughly pushes you onto the bed, you just say so, and she understands and instead just lays there with you then. She will play with your hair, your shirt, just hanging out with you.

- if you let her peg you, she will do it any chance she gets. She loves to have you below her, looking up at her with those pretty glossy eyes as she just takes you on the bed.

- speaking of, she also likes having you ride her. She thinks it’s so cute when you sit on top of her grinding your hips against the strap.

- she will bite you, if you let her. Her teeth will just gently graze at your skin as she’s kissing you, licking up your neck, her fangs just slightly brushing over the most dangerous parts.. one wrong move and you’d be dead, and that fact sends her head spinning- as well as yours.

- she likes to tie you up, having you be so submissive to her is so adorable. She loves having you be so vulnerable to her every move.

- she will happily sit on your face, and not even just a light hover but actually putting a bit of weight down onto you. Her thighs crush the side of your head only a little, the slight asphyxiation from the situation amusing both her and you.

- she likes to nip at your thighs, if she’s down there teasing your sex she will also like to kiss at your soft thighs- before her teeth very gently sink into the skin. Leaving bite marks on the inside of your thighs, leaving cute reminders of what happened later on.

NSFW (if you have a vagina + period, some words are fem leaning in some of the hc’s)

- she likes to eat you out, wether you’re on your back or riding her face. She likes how scared you can get sometimes, knowing how close her very sharp teeth are down there.

- when you get your period, every vampire will know about it. No one will dare come near you nor Marceline when you are though, because if they do they know Marceline will murder them instantly.

- Marceline likes it when you’re on your period, she will eat you out when you are too. “That’s so gross though-“ you protest, and yet she’s there looking at you through her eyelashes as she enjoys this meal. After all, it’s the only time she can actually enjoy enough of your blood without actually harming you.

- she doesn’t care if blood gets onto her clothes or bed or anything, she will just lick it up or wash it later. It’s not uncommon for a vampire to be covered in blood so.

- (she loves degrading you actually, but more in a teasing and humiliating way than a mean way.) saying things like “you’re already so wet.. I barely even did anything” as she slips your panties to the side.

- she loves to praise you too though sometimes. “That’s my good girl, taking the strap so well..” she kisses your cheek. And a “You look real pretty when I touch here.” She says as she’s curling her fingers inside you.

NSFW (if you have a penis, some words are male leaning in some of the hc’s)

- She likes how much you trust her with letting her suck you off, she doesn’t normally put the whole thing in her mouth because the two of you are afraid of her teeth- but when she does do it? It feels so so good.

- she’d probably be into cock and ball torture I’m sorry.

- just like how she likes it when you blush because of the blood rushing to your face- she also likes giving you random boners. She teases you because she loves the way the blood runs to the head of your cock, making an uncomfortable situation in your pants.

- loves degrading… whenever you get hard she pretends she didn’t do anything, “you’re such a pervert.”

- she will (if ur into it) call you a gross little man thing, telling you that you’re very very lucky that a woman like her is even near your filthy cock.

- loves praise too though.

- she- if she feels like it- will worship your cock too. As she’s praising you of course. “So pretty for me, let me help you..”

#adventure time smut #fionna and cake #fionna and cake x reader #send requests #adventure time #fionna and cake smut #adventure time x reader #anon ask #adventure time x reader smut #send asks #marceline #marceline the star #marceline the vampire queen #marceline the vampire princess #marceline adventure time #marceline fionna and cake #Marceline x reader #Marceline smut #Marceline x reader smut

335 notes · View notes

myths-tournaments · 6 months

Text

Awful Characters Round 4 (3/4)

Propaganda under the cut!

XUE YANG

he's evil and kills like hundreds, maybe thousands of people, for like not super good reasons (like killing the person who wronged you as a child? understandable in the setting of the story. killing every single person associated with that person? perhaps a bit overkill baby). tricks a character he's obsessed with into murdering a lot of innocent people including that guy's best friend. that all being said, I love him to death like that's my special little babygirl yeah he commits atrocities but have you considered that maybe he just needs someone to love him? or even that he looked cute while committing the atrocities? but nor fr I was kinda surprised when I got to the fandom stuff and realized that there were people who really hated Xue Yang because I just felt sorry for him and wanted to pat his head or something.

DONQUIXOTE DOFLAMINGO

He's a manipulator, an abuser, a groomer (tho not sexually), and has committed both patricide AND fratricide. He took over a country through a bloody coup. He's the epitome of a toxic head of a family. People pity him because of what he went through as a child but his brother went through the exact same thing and didn't turn out Like This. VERY fun villain tho, I love him. He's just a horrible horrible person <3

Became king of a country by literally puppeteering the old king and royal army to start murdering his subjects ending the like 700 years of being in 0 wars, he is also turning people into toys who keep their memories but everyone else forgets they existed. These toys, along with some Little People (like the size of mice little) are also being enslaved to make something called SMILEs

#awful characters tournament #tournament poll #awful characters round 4 #the untamed #mdzs #xue yang #one piece #donquixote doflamingo

176 notes · View notes

jpitha · 1 year

Text

"Look." Daniel held up the trap. Inside a small brown animal was quivering and running from side to side in the metal trap. "Mice."

El'ama peered closely at the small creature. "It's cute."

"Yeah, they are. But they're pretty destructive and they can bring disease with them. We're going to have to do something about them."

"How did they get here?"

"Oh, they've been following close behind humanity from the beginning. I'm sure a few snuck aboard from a ship." Daniel looked at the mouse. "I dunno. We could put out more traps, but maybe some cats instead?"

"Cats?"

"Yeah, predator from Earth. Small mammal, furry, pointy ears with a tail. They've been with us for millennia. They're good hunters. They've been following people just as long as the mice, earning a keep as mousers.

El'ama looked at Daniel, back to her tail, touched her ears and looked again at Daniel and flicked her ear.

Daniel got flustered. "I-I don't know! I don't think you really look that much like a cat, h-here, here's a photo of them." He got out his pad quickly and showed her a photo.

El'ama was amused at his embarrassment, and she looked at the photos. "Yeah, okay, they're not exactly the same as us, but it's really odd that you have a predator on your planet that looks a little like us that you keep as a pet."

"Pets? Hah! They don't think so. It's more like the cat chooses their human."

"What?"

"Oh yeah, there's evidence that they pretty much domesticated themselves. When around people and raised by people their vocalizations sound a little like a baby's cry - to better get our attention and to have us attend to them. They also tend to pick a human and just...go live with them. You'll be walking around, and as you walk into your house, a cat will scoot behind you and well, now a cat lives with you!"

"That's amazing." El'ama said. "Okay then, how do we get some?"

"Honestly? I'm not sure. They're usually just like, there. I'll ask around, make some calls."

A few weeks later the Starjumper On Point made a call at the joint Human/K'laxi starbase. Onboard, in addition to the regular contingent of crew and passengers and cargo were two small crates.

The crates were meowing.

Daniel and El'ana were waiting at customs. "They're here!" Daniel ran up to them as they were wheeled off the umbilical. "Who are my new fluffy employees? You are! You are!"

The crates gave a warning growl.

El'ama looked inside. When her face was even with the crates, the cats inside shrank back.

"I think they're scared of me."

"They're cats. They're just nervous about a new situation. Let's take them back to the office and let them get used to things."

Back at the office, Daniel let the cats out and they wandered around the office, sniffing and looking at everything.

"Do they....do anything else?" Eliana said.

"Like I said, they're cats. They do everything in their own time. I've got their water and food bowls set up, and they have a litter box over in the closet and toys and blankets."

"And they'll take care of the mice?"

"If they feel like it yeah."

"IF THEY FEEL LIKE IT?"

"El'ana, they're cats."

The largest cat, who was all black and very plush came over to the K'laxi and rubbed against her legs.

"Awwww, Inky likes you! Give her a pet on the head."

El'ana bent down and gently touched the cat between the ears. They raised their head up and started making a breathy rumble.

"What's that noise?"

"She's purring! That means she's content, or she likes you. Good work!"

El'ana sat down at her desk and the large black cat jumped into her lap and promptly fell asleep.

"So, what do I do now?" she whispered.

"Oh, you don't have to whisper. But she's sleeping, we can't wake her! I'll bring you something to drink and your pad. You'll just have to wait it out."

El'ana flicked an ear. You're sure they'll help us with our mouse problem?"

"Eh, pretty sure. Cats are great anyway."

#humans are deathworlders #humans have pets #cats are pretty great #humans are space orcs #humans are space capybaras #humans are space oddities #writing #scifi writing #worldbuilding

550 notes · View notes

epickiya722 · 1 month

Text

You know what, season 2 broke a lot of our hearts, didn't it? Well, here's some moments I thought were funny, heartwarming and just off the wall to lighten things up!

Starting with the Hidden Inventory/Premature Death Arc and if y'all want, I'll do a part 2 for the Shibuya Incident!

NOTE: I may have talked about some of these moments before in other posts.

Utahime, just all of Utahime in the first episode. She's awesome, I adore her. "SHOOOOKOOOO!!"

Chibi Satoru and Suguru. Especially the part of Suguru walking up the stairs as the others were talking. "Urusei."

"SENSEI, I SAY WE STOP THIS HUNT FOR THE CULPRIT!"

"SO IT WAS YOU!"

"Blegh!"

Shoko dipping out.

Suguru was really about to jump Satoru with a curse!!!

The fact that Suguru even went from wearing regular-waist pants to high-waist ones from manga to anime is glorious. Whoever decided that knew Suguru was meant to be a fashion icon.

Digimon

That WALK!!! Y'all, those are Special Grade sorcerers!

Suguru scowling Satoru on his behavior, also... "Satorrruuu~" Did he have to purr? That was a purr!

I love Satoru Gojo, I do. But with those glasses, he really do be looking like one of the Three Blind Mice from Shrek.

I don't know how but Toji somehow made saying he took his wife's last name scary. Like, he was very intimidating that it bypass me the first time of how cute it is that he loved Mamaguro a lot.

They actually added Suguru fixing himself a cup of tea in the anime!! This teenager really had that man captured by some Kissing Curse, told him he couldn't be a rice farmer and had himself some tea. Iconic.

Ooh, Satoru didn't have to do Bayer like that. But I applaud him for taking such a selfie!

Shoko trying to explain how RCT works actually irritated Satoru... which is rare!

Riko actually was the first to defeat Satoru. Did him dirty!! Suguru actually laughs at Satoru getting slapped while in the anime he looks shocked. Either way, his reaction is funny as hell.

"You look like a liar! And what's up with those bangs?" Then Riko got jumped for that!

Suguru's bangs ain't that bad, come on!

Knowing how Suguru turns out, it's something he's the one to tell Kuroi that she's Riko's family. Years later, he had his own "family". It's actually heartwarming he tells her that.

That old man didn't even get touched yet and he was already seeing his dead dog from 50 years ago!! Man's life flashed right before his eyes and he even says that! The whooping Suguru put on him was so bad that he was having visions!!

The one time Satoru is shown to have some sort of charm is with a bunch of school girls. The teacher should be locked up though.

Baghead man really had on the All Might cosplay.

Toji didn't have to say a word to that man and he still scared him shitless. Alright, Toji, I see you being all scary!

Satoru really be carrying kids like they're bags of groceries. Did it with Yuji, he did it with Riko.

"I failed!"

Kuroi being rescued! Satoru really stomped on those guys!

The plane scene. Satoru checking each passenger all with a glare. Meanwhile, Suguru was just chilling with a book, sitting there all pretty.

The whole beach scene!! "IT'S A SEA CUCUMBER!!"

Teen Kento having that hairstyle and his dynamic with Yu is just too adorable. He looks like he has Wii music playing in his head all day. Such a good kid!!

I cannot believe that DIO's VA is also Toji's. It's funnier when Toji has had beef with Satoru as a kid and DIO has had generational beef with the Joestars.

I just know that Worm Curse was having the time of its life on Toji's back while he was jumping around and being tossed about. Also, Toji smiling the whole time while fighting.

Suguru actually has mad hops! Did y'all not see that long ass jump?!

Squid gun. Speaking of, where in the hell did all those squids come from?! I need a story on that one!

Toji talking about how he fights for a while before Suguru tells him to shut up and due.

"Am I pretty?" "Sorry, you're not my type." Okay, well, damn.

The Worm Curse pretty much "NOPE" at Suguru.

That kick was fucking personal, I just know it! Also, the fact that Toji actually thought about the curses inhabiting Suguru's body is something. Especially, given later. I actually question that when Suguru dies in JJK 0, did Satoru have to deal with any curses?

Toji remembering Megumi.

Also, if you pay attention to the Worm, that thing sometimes matches Toji's expressions. It's like Reki and his headband (SK8 the Infinity).

Satoru standing all menacingly outside for Toji.

"Is he high?" Well, given that a few moments later he'll be floating in the air.

The fact that people have described Toji's death as "turned into the Apple logo" to "hot the Rengoku treatment". Y'all are out of pocket! And he looked so disappointed, too.

"Mommy... hug me..." That scene is just...

"I like girls with healthy appetites!" Yu, never change!!

Yuki's reaction to what Suguru tells her about what he has heard about her. "She's pouting."

"I heard you the first time. That's why I said 'huh'!" Bro was just that mad.

Shoko. Just Shoko when she and Suguru meet in Shinjuku.

Heartbreaking as the scene is, you had one lanky ass teenager looking deranged on one end and the other with the "I'm going to the store real quick" fit on having this fight in front of KFC. Becomes even funnier when you remember the slogan "finger lickin' good". What does this have to do with anything? Think about Yuji.

One, where did Suguru get the robes from? Two, given he was born the following year in February after Satoru, if I did my calculations right... Suguru really started a cult at 17. No wonder there was objections. After he killed that guy, I'm sure everyone was like "oh, he's unhinged".

Okay, but the head rubs he gave the twins was so cute!! Look, they may been raised as killers, but it's sweet that they were Suguru's family. He adored those girls and they adored him!

The first meeting between Megumi and Satoru!!

Satoru waking up and seeing his students was just so heartwarming!!!

#i had this in my drafts since February oh my gosh #just kiya's thoughts #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #premature death arc #hidden inventory arc #geto suguru #gojo satoru #haibara yu #ieiri shoko #iori utahime #nanami kento #fushiguro toji #amanai riko #tsukumo yuki

50 notes · View notes

filthyjoetini · 3 months

Text

Stumblin' In

a/n: Here we are guys. The last part. Thanks for sticking around <3 feedback, reblogs and likes are as always very appreciated. beta-reader, editor, partner in crime: @barfightzanddiscolightz

warnings: rpf, fem!reader, could raise your blood sugar...

wordcount: 4k

part 1 - part 2 - part 3

Part 4

“It looks so stu-hu-hupiiid.”, you groaned, stomping your feet and throwing your head back in frustration. You stood in front of your full-length mirror. One of your legs was only halfway inside your tights which had a run from you pulling too hard on them. Your lace corset-top, which was halfway tucked into your faux-leather skirt, hung loosely around your torso because you couldn’t find the laces. You were sure that one of your cats had stolen them and hidden them under your bed, where you couldn’t reach them without crawling under it. But the worst thing of all was the fact that your flat iron decided to die on you mid-way through styling your hair. Luckily, you had already finished your make-up, which turned out to be perfect.

After unplugging the broken styling tool, you took it to your bathroom and placed it in the sink to cool off. Looking down at it with a sneer, you quickly grabbed your hairdryer and curling brush. Returning to your bedroom, you plopped down on your bed and took a few of deep breaths to ground yourself. You needed to calm down. Why were you so nervous? You knew when and where you needed to be. It was a cute little café that also served a variety of sandwiches and other finger foods. You had already checked the menu online and knew exactly what you were going to get.

And you’d read the book twice. For your book club, of course, and not at all to impress him. No need to, right?

With one last big breath through your nose, you stood up and took off your damaged tights. You threw them on your bed, telling yourself you would throw them away later. Later meaning ‘three weeks from now’ later. Pushing yourself up from your bed, you walked over to your commode and picked your second-best pair of tights out of your drawer.

“Yeah...you’ll do.”, you sighed and pulled them on gently. They didn’t really go with the rest of the outfit, but you didn’t have time to go out and get a new pair that would suit your style better. The next step was to find the laces for your top. You got down on all fours and crawled halfway under your bed, where most of the cat toys had found their final resting place. After rummaging through the pile of toy mice, hair and zip ties, you finally found a huge ball of laces. You pulled it out from under the bed and immediately spotted the silk fabric of the strings.

“Fucking cats.”, you muttered under your breath, shaking your head. Carefully, you began to untangle the ball of laces and gently pulled out the one you needed before skilfully threading it through the corset’s grommets, tightening them and finally tying them on your back.

Two tasks down, one more to go.

You plugged your hairdryer into the outlet, turned it on, grabbed your curling brush with your other hand and started straightening the second half of your hair. The brush left a little curve at the ends, making one half of your head look like a 70s actress, whilst the other half screamed late-00’s emo kid. Groaning, you got to work on the emo side again to even it out a bit. You weren’t fully satisfied with the result, but at least it looked somewhat presentable now.

After staring at yourself in the mirror for far too long and almost spacing out, you decided to pick up your mobile phone from where it was lying on the bed. You gasped when you saw the time. You were running royally late.

Panicking, you grabbed your purse and your trusty leather jacket and sprinted for the door. There you slipped into your Dr. Martens and tied them up properly. Another trip to the hospital wasn’t in your books.

As you opened the door, you yelled back at your cats to behave before hastily locking the door and speed walking down the corridor and stairs.

---

Heaving and panting, you entered the café. You prayed that Joe wasn’t there yet, but unfortunately, you spotted him already sitting down in a cosy armchair, dressed in his overly expensive trench coat, phone in hand.

You collected yourself and stepped into the room, slowly making your way over to him.

“Hey,”, you greeted him, clearing your throat.

Joe turned around quickly when he heard you, beaming grin on his face. He immediately stood up and pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.

When he pulled back, he was holding you at an arm’s length, eyes narrowed, lips between his teeth. He studied your face. Then his eyes darted down your body, a smirk forming on his lips.

You rolled your eyes, snorting at his expression.

“Yeah, I know. For once I don’t look like a hag. All put together, like a normal human being.”

“You never look like a hag,”, he scoffed at your self-degrading remark, “and you always look put together. With or without make-up. I like it though. Suits you very well.”

He said the last part with a wink that made you blush instantly.

Quickly, you took the remaining couple of steps to the second armchair and sat down. Joe though, didn’t move an inch, instead opening his mouth again.

“Do you know what you want? There’s a menu on the table.”

“Oh. Can you get me a cappuccino with the Toblerone sprinkles and one of those egg and cress sandwiches? They look delicious.”, you blurted out without looking at him or the menu at all, shrugging off your leather jacket.

When Joe still didn’t move, you looked up at him and saw him grinning down at you.

“What?”, you asked, innocently.

“Nothing.”, he smirked and then walked off to place your orders at the counter.

---

Joe placed your sandwich and hot beverages neatly in front of you on the very tiny table and his in the same orderly fashion on his side before sitting down.

“How was your wor-”

“How’s your nec-”

Joe and you both started to speak at the same time and stopped abruptly again when you noticed. It made you both giggle.

“Sorry, you first,”, you urged, gesturing for him to start talking again.

“How is your neck?”, he asked, the giggle still evident in his voice.

“I had a check-up two days ago and the doctor said I’ll be just fine, although there is no cure for my clumsiness.”, you giggled and shrugged your shoulders.

“Good. Because otherwise I’ll have to find a new nickname for you, and I’ve grown quite fond of Bambi.”, he explained, a gentle smile now sporting his lips.

“Shut up…”, you muttered bashfully before composing yourself and taking a huge gulp of your cappuccino and a bite of your sandwich. “How was your foreign mission? Any more planned?”

“Oh, you know, the usual. And yes, always.”, he replied nonchalantly, as he leaned towards you. He had his elbow propped on his knee and slowly rested his chin on the heel of his palm, smirking smugly at you.

Two can play this game, you told yourself, mirroring him.

“And what is it you do? Mr. Over-Secretive?”, you inquired further, returning his smug expression.

“I’m an actor.”, he responded quickly, leaning back casually into the backrest of his armchair, hands placed flat on his knees.

“Oh.”, you replied, somewhat taken aback. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in anything before.”

“Ouch.”

“No…I didn’t mean it like that.”, you apologised immediately, leaning further forward and grabbing his hand without thinking. All Joe could do was smile down at your hand.

“It’s alright. I’ve been in a lot of period productions, and I know they are not for everyone.”, he replied, adjusting his hand in yours by lacing your fingers together.

“Yeah, they are not my cup of tea.”, you nodded, staring at your intertwined fingers before moving your eyes up to his face. “Have you been in anything else?”

“Yep.”, he replied, popping the p. “I was in the latest season of Stranger Things.”

“Wha-?”, you started, mouth agape now and eyes wide. “That’s one of my favourite TV shows. Who did you play?”

“Eddie Mun-“

“GET OUT OF HERE!”, you almost shrieked, pulling your hand away from his and clapping it over your mouth. An elderly couple two tables over glared daggers at your outburst. “Sorry…I didn’t mean to shout.”, you spoke through your fingers, muffled.

All Joe could do was laugh at your reaction. You were so bloody adorable. Especially when you started blushing as soon as you did something out of character.

“Eddie is my favourite character this season.”, you confessed, almost whispering.

“Yeah?”, he asked, giggling.

“Yeah.”, you confirmed sheepishly.

“Anyway.”, Joe continued, trying to divert the attention to something else. Something else was obviously you. “What do you do for a living?”

“It’s really not that interesting.”, you explained with a shrug. “It’s your usual boring desk job.”

“I bet it’s not as boring as you make it out to be.”, Joe spoke, an encouraging smile on his lips.

“It really is.”, you concluded with tight lips, leaving no more room for an argument. “In contrast to my job, yours is very multifaceted.”

Nodding, Joe didn’t inquire further, sensing your discomfort with the subject. You let out a shaky breath and then put on a smile again. You didn’t want to dampen the mood. Joe returned your smile and leaned forward to take your hand in his again. It was very warm whilst yours had become clammy.

"So…what do you do for fun then?”

“Well, I really, really enjoy going to the cinema to see obscure films and I love to read a book every now and then.”, you stated with a chuckled. “Oh, and I love music. I love, looove love going to concerts.”

Joe couldn’t take his eyes off you as you rambled on about your passions and favourite past times. You animatedly recounted the story of the last concert you went to, and Joe basically hung on your every word.

“What do you like to do for fun?”

“Hmm...”, Joe pretended to think, putting his free hand under his chin, which made you giggle again. “I love going to the cinema, especially to study the work of other actors as well as the directors. I also like to write scripts. They’re usually silly little stories. And I love to read. Speaking of reading. I just finished the book this morning.”

“Did you? How did you like it?”

“Considering I literally devoured it between shoots, I’d say pretty good.”, he said with a chuckle, letting go of your hand to reposition himself in his armchair.

“Well, I was hoping so.”, you giggled, pulling your hand back and you crossing your legs. “Otherwise, I’d have to disband our book club.”

“Bambi, book clubs are for discussing different opinions about a book.” Joe retorted. “Disbanding it prematurely would defeat its purpose.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Yuh uh.”

“Nuh uh!”

“Yuh uh!”

“Ugh. You’re even more annoying than my cats.”, you groaned, knowing he could go on like this forever.

“You have cats?”, he asked, his eyes widening with interest. His whole body moved forward again.

“Yep. Two little bastards.”, you replied with a chuckle. You took your phone from beside you and showed him a picture of your two fur babies. “Do you want to meet them?”

“Yes. Duh!”, he responded, immediately getting up from his armchair and pulling on his coat.

“Uhm, Joe. You still have some coffee and food left.”, you pointed out with a raised eyebrow. Joe looked down at the table and quickly downed his now cold coffee and stuffed the rest of the food into his mouth.

“Okay. Let’s go.”, he spoke again after he had swallowed everything. You were still sipping the last of your drink and wrapping your sandwich in a serviette when Joe was already halfway out of the café.

“Hey. Wait up.”

“Hurry up! I’ve got cats to meet.”

“Idiot.”, you muttered under your breath, shaking your head, grinning and following him out.

---

“Joe, you really don’t have to do this.”

You slowly climbed the stairs up to your flat, Joe beside you, hovering like a mother hen. An arm was draped around your waist. A safety precaution.

“I won’t fall down again.”

“Says you!”, he objected, jabbing a finger into your side almost causing you to lose your balance nearly missing the next step. You cursed under your breath. Why do you have to be so ticklish?

“See? You almost fell again!”, Joe pointed out the obvious, grinning like a madman. That dick knew exactly what he was doing. You responded by giving him a light shove.

“Of course I’m gonna fall if you poke me in the side, Joseph. I’m ticklish.”, you huffed, feigning annoyance.

“Good to know.”, he countered with a wink.

Rolling your eyes, you wiggled out of his grasp and took the last few steps up the stairs to the door of your flat. Joe was hot on your heels, not wanting to be left behind.

“Uhm. Just so you know. My cats are very skittish and don’t really like strangers. Please don’t be offended if they don’t come to you straight away. They’re drama queens.”, you explained before inserting the key in the lock and slowly unlocking the door.

“Don’t worry. I won’t be.”, Joe smiled at you. He leaned his arm against the wall for support as he unzipped his boots to take them off. His tongue was sticking out in concentration. It made you snort a little, because you found it very endearing.

Gently, you pushed open the door and your cats immediately greeted you. As soon as they noticed someone else was standing there, they took off. Probably hiding under your bed.

“Told you.”, you said matter-of-factly before stepping aside to let Joe in. “The living room is this way.”, you pointed in its direction, “make yourself comfortable…uhm…do you want something to drink? What do you want?”

“What do you have to offer?”, Joe asked sweetly, not yet moving.

“I have water, both still and sparkling, tea…I should have beer…”, you listed, making your way over to the kitchen to check, leaving Joe standing in your narrow hallway.

“If you’ve got beer, I’ll have one.”, Joe called, following you.

“Shit. I’m out!”, you winced lowly after rummaging through your fridge. “I do have a liquor shelf though – holy FUCK. You scared me!”

Joe was standing right behind you as you turned away from the fridge. You hand’t expected him to follow you.

“I thought you’d gone into the living room.”, you explained frowning, hand covering your chest. Your heart was racing at a thousand miles a minute.

“Fuck. I’m sorry, Bambi.”, he apologised, mirroring your frown. He gently took your free hand in his and rubbed it softly to emphasise how bad he felt for scaring you.

“Alright...it’s alright.”, you murmured, slowly smiling at him and giving his hand a quick squeeze before taking yours from his grasp. “Would you like a drink instead of a beer?”

“Sure…uhm…a gin and tonic, maybe?”

“Gin and tonic coming right up.”, you announced, turning to your liquor shelf. “Go sit in the living room. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

“Alright.”, Joe chuckled and wandered off.

---

As you entered the living room, two gin and tonics in hand, you saw Joe coaxing Kiro over from the other side of the sofa. Your black panther of a cat was the braver of the two but totally unimpressed by Joe. The man in question clicked his tongue and stuck his pointer finger out at him.

With a low chuckle, you set the two drinks down on your coffee table and sat down in between them. Your addition to the scene awakened Kiro’s interest and he now ambled over to you and plopped himself down on your thighs.

Joe, who was now sporting a huge grin, slowly scooted closer to you and held his still outstretched forefinger directly under Kiro’s nose. The cat sniffed it and eventually gave it a lick. Joe had been approved.

Giggling, Joe moved his hand to the top of Kiro’s head and scratched it softly before pulling his hand away and grabbing his drink from the table instead. You had watched the whole interaction with a soft smile gracing your lips.

“Would you like to watch something on Netflix?”, you inquired, leaning forward carefully so as to not crush your cat, and grabbing both your drink and the remote.

“Sure. Anything obscure on there you haven’t seen?”, he asked, taking the first sip of his long drink and nodding in approval.

“Not really. I’m kind of in a mood for some nostalgic rom coms.”, you giggled as you launched the app. “I’m talking early 2000’s, baby.”

“Oookay. Whatever floats your boat.”, Joe chuckled and put his drink down again.

You chose the corniest one the streaming service had to offer, but before you hit play, you asked Joe to hand you the blankets that were draped over the settee’s armrest. Before you could drape one over yourself, Kiro jumped off your legs and sat down beside you.

“Do you want the other one?”, you asked Joe, holding it out to him.

“Sure. Thanks.”

You nodded at him as he gently pulled his blanket over his own legs.

Just as you were about to press play, Freya decided to show herself by sauntering lazily into the living room. When Joe saw her, he let out a small audible gasp. She decided to jump on the sofa, right between you and Joe. He immediately held out his hand to her as well. She sniffed it and then turned her behind to him. She opted for your legs instead.

Joe’s shoulders slumped in defeat, and you smiled at him apologetically. He just grinned and waved you off.

“She’ll get around to you…eventually.”, you promised and finally pressed play.

Less than twenty minutes into the film, Freya had had enough of your legs and moved over to Joe. There she scratched gently at the blanket. Joe looked at you with questioning eyes.

“She wants to go into the blanket cave.”, you explained. “Is that OK for you? If not, I can make one with my blanket.”

“Is that OK? Of course it’s OK!.”, Joe confirmed, face beaming and you leaned over to help him make it. Snug as a bug in a rug she now lay against Joe’s thigh, fully covered by his blanket. One of Joe’s hands was underneath the blanket as well, gently stroking her fur.

Surrounded by the warmth of two cats and a man, you grew more tired by the minute. It wasn’t even that late, only a quarter to five but your brain still hadn’t fully recovered yet and the circumstances you found yourself in didn’t really benefit your condition. You tried very hard to stay awake, but your eyes grew heavy, and your head was inching closer and closer to Joe’s shoulder, eventually landing on it.

Joe looked down at your sleeping form, moving as little as possible to make you more comfortable and not to disturb the cats. He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you a little closer, so that your head rested just below his collarbone. Unconsciously, you snuggled closer to him and let out a soft sigh. Joe grinned and continued to watch the film which he hadn’t followed at all.

He let you sleep like that even after the film had ended. You were snoring softly, and he found it to be very soothing whilst he tried to solve his sudoku on his phone. 45 minutes after the credits had finished rolling, he received a text message from his manager saying he had to get up early the next day due to a spontaneous work commitment all the way up in Scotland.

Groaning at the text, he pushed himself up a little, much to Freya’s dismay who now crawled out of her cave and glared at Joe.

“I’m sorry, girl. I didn’t mean to.”, he apologised, scratching her ear. Then he gently placed the palm of his hand on your cheek.

“Bambi…wake up.”

“No…five more minutes.”, you whined and tried to swat his hand away, making Joe snort out a laugh.

“Unfortunately, I have to go. I just got a text saying that I have to get up early. I’m needed in Scotland.”, he explained, rubbing his thumb along your jaw.

You slowly opened your eyes and mumbled something about another secret mission.

“That’s right…now come on.”

He moved his hands to your arms and slowly helped you up which irritated the two fur balls even more. Kiro toddled over the sofa cushion next to Freya and lay down again with a grunt.

“You just lost at least four brownie points in their book for that rude awakening.”, you muttered with a yawn and stretching your arms over your head.

“In yours or theirs?”

“Hmm.”, was all you replied, shrugging your shoulders.

“I’ll make it up to them.”, he grinned, gently petting them to say his goodbye. A little more awake than before, you smiled at him and made your way to the hallway to see him out.

After Joe had put on his coat and boots, he slowly turned to you.

“I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you, Bambi.”

“Likewise.”, you retorted having grown rather fond of his silly nickname for you. Slowly, you pushed yourself up on your tiptoes and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, burying your face in the crook of his neck. Gently, he returned the embrace, and swayed you in his arms for a couple of moments.

Pulling back a little, you stared into his deep caramel eyes, a soft smile tickling at the corners of your lips. Smiling himself, he stared back down at you, lowering his face until you were nose to nose. Joe then gently tilted his head, brushed his nose against yours, causing you turn up your nose a slightly. Your reaction made Joe grin even wider, and you took the opportunity to close the distance, pressing your lips tenderly against his.

He immediately reciprocated the kiss and sweetly pecked your lips a few of times which made you open your mouth just a little. Taking this as an invitation to go further, Joe gently nibbled at your lips and finally captured them passionately with his.

Breathing heavily, you both reluctantly pulled away, resting your foreheads against each other. You took one hand from around his shoulders and ran your fingers delicately along your bottom lip. Both his and your cheeks were slightly rose-tinted, and Joe’s ears were glowing red. He quickly placed another soft peck to your fingertips and gingerly let go of you.

“I’ve got a train to catch.”, he whispered, and you nodded, reaching behind him to unlock the door. He took a step back into the stairwell and turned back around to where you were standing in the doorway, the blush still evident on your face. Joe took a step back towards you and gave you one final peck to your lips.

“Let’s do this again, Bambi.”, he winked, making you giggle again.

“Get home safe.”

“I will.”

“Text me?”, you inquired, crossing your arms around your middle.

“Of course.”, he promised as he descended the stairs. You watched him disappear before you opened your mouth again.

“Bye!”, you called after him.

“Bye, Bambi!”, he called back, and you eventually heard the front door slam shut far too loudly. This was in no way Joe’s fault but the doors itself. The mechanism was broken.

Turning around, you quickly closed the door and ran into your living room to look out the window. You caught him just in time to see him disappear around the corner. Smiling to yourself, you touched your lips again. Your smile turned into a snort and finally into a full laugh.

Oh, you so were gonna do this again.

The End

Taglist:

@ohmeg @daleyeahson @lma1986 @palomahasenteredthechat @mandyjo8719 @aysheashea @littledemon-lilith @readergf @sidthedollface2 @i-wont-run-this-time @miserybeans @kylakins88 @thehillzhaveeyez @punctualhowell @icallhimjoey @ghostinthebackofyourhead @siriuslysmoking @cancankiki @definitionwanderlust @1paire2vans @theonewiththecrackedmind @fromasgardandback @captainonaboat @josephquinnsfreckles @emilyslutface @alessxaa

#stumblin in #joe quinn #joseph quinn #joe quinn fanfiction #joe quinn x y/n #joe quinn fanfic #joe quinn x reader #joe quinn x you #joseph quinn fanfic #joseph quinn x y/n #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn x you #rpf #rpf fic #rpf fanfiction

53 notes · View notes

project-sekai-facts · 6 months

Note

What's ur fav piece of trivia for every* character?

(*or at least as much as you can recall off the top of ur head)

my favorite trivia for characters is usually just whatever i think is funniest so just keep that in mind. that's not always the case but you might see it become a pattern. oh the other thing is whatever is most soul-crushing so yeah.

Ichika - either the fact her name comes from how her parents met (because i think it's really sweet) or that she accidentally discovered miku when she was watching videos on her dad's tablet and opened a recording of a miku concert

Saki - she used to listen to the song Time Machine when she was in hospital (at Ichika's recommendation) to remind her of family and friends. It's the in-universe reason why she is featured on the cover. This is actually one of my favorite facts in the game overall.

Honami - she is surprisingly good at flirting

Shiho - not one I've posted before, but in Run! Sports Festival! she couldn't bring herself to throw any of the balls in the ball toss because they had cute animal designs on them

Minori - she once passed out because Haruka wished her happy birthday.

Haruka - she likes penguins because she thinks the way they waddle is cute and she likes how round a lot of penguin merch is

Airi - she followed all of Shizuku's campaigns and bought all the magazines she was featured in when she was still a member of Cheerful*Days. She insists it was just research.

Shizuku - either that she usually has a thermos of miso soup on her to eat after practice or archery club or that she isn't good at texting. i haven't posted either of these before

Kohane - again one I haven't posted yet, but her favorite photo she's taken of Count Pearl is one of Pearl eating mice. the rest of VBS are surprised that she isn't squeamish about that sort of thing (i dunno what they're talking about that sounds like a very cool photo).

An - the possible symbolism of the black stripe on her new school cardigan. hello to the person who submitted that i am still not over it.

Akito - in Cinema he's the only person to sing solo during the first two choruses, the others don't get solo parts in the chorus until the end of the song. i think about this one a lot actually

Toya - he can't swim

Tsukasa - he's the comedic relief and there's a lot of really random shit i know about him because of that, so my favorite fact about him is whatever will have the most impact in the moment if i were to mention it out of nowhere. for a less vague answer, this one although i consider it to be one of my worst posts

Emu - she's very good at replicating cartoon faces. i like this one because it raises a few questions about whether the L2Ds are still exaggerated or if she just looks like that and no one questions that she actually has a cartoon face. what if project sekai ends with them all becoming self-aware.

Nene - either the fact that she thinks the forest has good graphics or that she called rui's mom "auntie" when she was younger because i think it's cute.

Rui - i like a good reference and i appreciate that he sometimes references famous people and media.

Kanade - she's left handed. i also like that her family name was made up specifically to contrast with the rest of N25.

Mafuyu - either that it's shown one time that she can see ghosts and then it's never brought up or referenced again, or that the "mom's cooking" listed as her favorite food might refer to the bunny-shaped apple slices her mother would make for her when she was a kid. i also like the detail that her eyes being two-tone is because she inherited the eye colors of both her parents.

Ena - twitter user. also despite loving cheesecake, she doesn't like cheese. girl what the hell.

Mizuki - they started out editing by making AMVs for a magical girl anime they liked. Amia comes from the name of a character from that anime. also did you know they put ice cubes in noodles because of their sensitive tongue. ice cubes.

Bonus - some side character stuff I like

Kotaro's favorite food is strawberries but he doesn't like strawberry flavored things for whatever reason

Asahi and Sakurako's family names are Chinese mythology references

Tatsuya's hobbies are motorbiking and fishing. these are not things you expect to go together

Nagi hated tomatoes but she would eat them in front of An

Iori hates spicy food, whilst Mio's favorite food is super spicy ramen. Meanwhile Mio doesn't like cream, but Iori likes crepes (which usually have cream on them).

Souma started listening to foreign music after Arata left for America

gbr i forgot about the vocaloids for a second but before i call it a day i think it's incredibly funny that Len cannot reach the stools in crase cafe.

#asks #mod talks

142 notes · View notes

del-sol-diminutives · 3 months

Text

Review: The World of Sylvanian Families The Official Guide

This book is relatively new; it debuted around Christmas, 2023. It’s 110 pages, hardbound, and written with children in mind, but with value for adult collectors.

You can find some sample pictures of the interior on Amazon, but I wanted to talk a bit about what they do and don’t include, so you can decide for yourself if it’s a worthwhile addition to your own collection.

The book contains a story of the origin of Sylvania, which is heartwarming and sweet, with cute illustrations. The illustrations are the only time some of the vintage families appear in the book.

It also contains a section on the families themselves, including photos of the figures, their names, and the description of each member that you would usually find on the bottom of the box.

(Please forgive this photo’s strange lighting; the weather changed while I was writing.)

The most popular families get their own page and the Chocolate rabbits actually have a two-page spread. The families included are:

the Chocolate Rabbits

the Walnut Squirrels

the Persian Cats (the Persians)

the Huskies (the Huskys)

the Fennec Foxes (the Fennecs)

the Milk Rabbits (the Periwinkles)

the Ponies (the Manelys, plus Bella Chestnut and Giselle Silver)

the Bears (this is the Petite family of bears)

the Hedgehogs (the Brambles)

the Koalas (the Outbacks)

the Highbranch Giraffes

the Penguins (the Waddles)

the Snow Rabbits

the Toy Poodles (the Cakebreads)

the Sheep (the Dales)

the Maple Cats

the Pookie Pandas

the Marshmallow Mice

the Caramel Dogs

the Midnight Cats

the Kangaroos (the Hoppers)

the Yellow Labradors (the Fentons)

the Red Deer (the Buckleys)

the Reindeer (the Snowdrifts)

the Tuxedo Cats (the Marlowes)

the Bubblebrook Elephants

the Goats (the Brightfields)

and the Splashy Otters

The older brothers and sisters have their own page called “In The Town”, separate from the families. Interestingly, this includes Lionel Grand, who I hadn’t considered to be an older sibling. I might have to check his figure now.

The book also includes maps of Sylvanian Village, Sylvania Town, Seabreeze Cape, and Sylvanian Land, the amusement park for the babies. I think this is a fine bit of inspiration for designing your own layouts.

The book also includes descriptions of the seasons and Sylvanian holidays, including both Christmas and Easter.

In the back is a short timeline of Sylvanian Families history.

It is necessarily incomplete, given the target audience and the amount they’d probably have to pack into a book if they weren’t being general. Unfortunately it does not contain the full information on each of the various families and when they were released. There is definitely still room for a collector’s book for adults that includes information on the vintage families and sets.

Finally, the last page in the book is a delightful encapsulation of Sylvanian Families values.

I think this is a wonderful addition and a perfect capstone to the book, and I am very happy with owning it. I do hope that someday there will be a book for adult collectors, with the same kind of aesthetic, but with the full details we would love to have.

#sylvanian families #calico critters #book review #the world of sylvanian families

56 notes · View notes

224bbaker · 18 days

Note

If there were - hypothetical - three mice waiting to be named, and someone - hypothetical - considers naming them after his favourite detectives on Baker Street but stood before the problem of really liking Archie as a mouse name, which, due to there only being three mice would mean another detective having to sit this mouse naming out, which three would you choose as name patrons? Archie, James, Madge or Hampton?

Ok, first of all, @angryducktimemachine , !!!

Second, I will attempt to view this objectively for advice giving reasons and address the question not on personal preference, but on your very astute pre-stated criteria: the best objective names for a mouse.

As you’ve noted, Archie is an excellent mouse name. There is no possible room for doubt here. It is both cute and distinguished, the perfect combination. It is funny for a mouse’s full legal name to be Archibald, but it innately feels right to call a small critter something like Archie when they have done something adorable or mischievous. Obviously correct, good call you.

Next, I would argue: Madge. Mouse, Madge. Alliteration from the start. Evokes the image of something small—dramatic irony for our canonically tall detective, but also objectively correct for a mouse. The choice.

That leaves us with: James or Hampton. Correct in their own ways. We face a dilemma. There are multiple ways to approach this conundrum:

Even though Hampton is a human name, I would argue it has more whimsical energy. It FEELS like a cartoon name. It’s why we chose it for the show. Cartoon names work well for mice.

Conversely, James is a human name, this cannot be denied, which would appear to be a strike against it, but NO! There is something perhaps more innately whimsical in a human name for an animal companion. You imagine him with a job, with a briefcase, with taxes, which clearly he cannot have. He is a mouse. That’s absurd. Even funnier, he is a mouse named after a man who is hot. These are the building blocks of humor themselves. You can also pair him with Mouse!Archie and make humorous tableaus about how they are in love. That is adorable. I would argue James may have the edge here.

However, there remains one factor at your disposal still in determining the answer: the vibes and style of the mouse. Is this mouse innately pathetic? Do they give the vibes of insecurity? Are they light-colored or small but trying desperately to seem big? Does this mouse enjoy puzzles, mazes, exploring, or pretending to be other mice in elaborate disguises and voices? Does this mouse struggle to stand out among the other mice? If so, Hampton.

Is the mouse innately pathetic? Do they give off the vibes of insecurity—wait, sorry, that’s not helpful, both characters have that. But does this mouse’s pathetic energy have the sheen of cool? Could this mouse day drink at 10:30 in the morning and kinda pull it off? Does this mouse just kinda, like, vibe rather than puzzle? Are they good with other mice and show an effortless charm every time they waltz into a room? Does this mouse stand out? Most importantly, is this mouse hot by mouse standards? If so, James.

I hope this helps. I doubt it will, but I had a great time!

*throws in Ambrosius as a wildcard option*

#asks #224bbaker #listener posts #fawx & stallion #mice!#this is the most fun I’ve had all week I’m so serious

46 notes · View notes

hunterwritings · 2 years

Note

ONE SHOT IDEA:

You owe Steve a favor so you decide to babysit the Party so he can go on a date, and Eddie tags along. The ENTIRE time Eddie keeps flirting with you, kisses your neck and is basically doing everything he could to gross out the kids

STOP THIS IS SO CUTE

"get a room" ⭒

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

summary: while taking up babysitting duty for Steve, Eddie can't seem to keep his hands and lips off of you.

pairing(s): eddie munson x gn!reader

warnings: suggestive, making out(?), allusions to sex, cursing

word count: 1.7k

notes: trying to cheer myself up after the finale 😢also, I kind of got very carried away with this, but I hope you still enjoy it!

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

You laid down on Eddie's bed, resting your head on Eddie's chest while watching a horror movie.

"Baby, I hate to tell you this, but this movie sucks." You admit as you sit up from his chest. He gasped deeply and held a hand to his heart dramatically. "What do you mean? This movie's great!" He tries to add a rebuttal as he sits up, pressing his back to the headboard. "Scary movies are supposed to keep you awake and cautious, and I'm over here falling asleep." You reply with a smug smile. "Maybe it's just cause you're boring." He jokingly smiles to you. You gasp dramatically, just like he did before. "How could you?" You jokingly ask, a large smile spread across your face.

He smiled before reaching over and grabbing either side of your waist and pulling you close to him. Laughs emitted your mouth as he wrapped his arms around your side as he pressed small kisses on your neck.

Then, you heard the landline start to ring. "I'll get it." You sigh as you begin to pull away from him and he whines loudly. You jumped off the bed and walked toward the phone on the wall, hearing Eddie groan as he fell back onto his bed. "Hello?" You ask as you pick up the phone and hold it to your ear. "Hey (Y/N)." You hear another voice say on the other line. "Harrington?" You say loudly as Eddie pops his head out from your guy's room. "What's up?" You ask as you see Eddie walk out from your bedroom and sits down on the couch in the living room and turns on the TV there. "So, I need a favor." He asks bluntly. "Really? Now?" You asked, as you laid your head back against the wall.

"Yes now, listen, I've got a date tonight and I need to be there by 8." He said, looking at his watch on his free hand. "And what does that have to do with me?" You asked, your eyebrows furrowing together. "Oh my god." He mutters under his breath as he pressed his forehead against his wrist lying against the wall. "Listen, these kids are here and I am done being the goddamn babysitter, okay?" He speaks quickly, you couldn't see him but you knew that he was speaking with his hands. "What are you talking about Dustin?" You questioned.

"Yes! But it's not just him, it's all the other ones too. They're playing that dumb Dungeons & Demons game." He explained.

"Dragons, Steve." You corrected him.

"Whatever." He complained, dragging out the word. "Listen, these kids need to be monitored, I don't trust them alone." He says. "They're 15, Steve, they're not toddlers." You say, scornful. "Yeah? Well I'm not gonna leave them alone at my house, just waiting to break something!" He says, annoyance laced in his voice. "Why are they at your house?" You said, your volume getting higher and moving your hand as you speak. This caused Eddie to look up at you, wondering if you were actually angry or not.

"I don't know! I thought it was just Henderson at first, then they all came rushing in like mice! They said all their parents wouldn't let them play st their house or something, and it was Henderson's great idea to bring them here." He explained, you could almost laugh wondering what his facial expressions looked like. "Y'know Steve, it says a lot about you that you can't handle a couple of 15 year olds." You smirked as you shook your head.

"You owe me, alright? You wouldn't have that job at Family Video if it weren't for me, and you said you'd make it up to me, remember?" He said, pointing his finger up even though you couldn't see him on the other line. "Oh my god, did you really have to bring that up?" You groan as you pressed your forehead against the wall. "C'mon (Y/N)." He added on. You groaned as you looked up at the ceiling. "Ugh, fine, I'll be there." You give in finally. "Yes! Yes, thank you (Y/N), seriously." He said, almost literally jumping from excitement. "Yeah, yeah, thank me when I get there." You finished as you put the phone back on the wall.

"Soo, what was all that about?" Eddie asks curiously as he stands up from the couch. "Steve wants me to watch the kids while he goes on a date." You tell him, your lips pressing into a tight smile. "What like, Henderson and Wheeler? Those kids?" He asks with his arms crossed and a curious smile on his face. "Yep." You replied with a chuckle. "Well why don't I just go with you? I'll keep you company." He says with a smug smile on his face as he lays his hands on your hips. He bit his bottom lip before reaching down his lips to press soft kisses to the crook in your neck. "C'mon Eddie." You chuckled as you slowly pushed him away. "Fine, fine, I won't do anything but I'm still going with you." He adds, tilting his head as he spoke to you. "Okay." You smiled.

You sighed as you closed the door to the van. You stepped out in front of Steve's large house and made your way to his door, Eddie trailing behind you. You knocked on the door before Steve opened it to you. "Finally." He sarcastically said as he gestured towards you. "Hey, at least we showed up." You replied. "You brought him too?" He rhetorically asked, gesturing towards Eddie standing next to you. "Listen, we are a package deal Harrington, wherever they go, I go." Eddie smirks as he points to you and then back at himself. Steve was about to open his mouth to say something but just put a hand to his forehead before shaking his head. "Y'know what? I don't care, but if I come home and the place is a mess, you are in deep shit (L/N)." He says, pointing a finger at you, but you just push past him and walk inside. "Relax Harrington, I'm a damn good babysitter." You jokingly say to him, holding your hands up. Eddie chuckles at your statement and Steve just sighs. "I'll be back in a couple hours." He says, holding his hand around the door knob. "Alright, have fun!" You say in a singing voice before he closes the door and leaves. "What a worry wart." You joke as Eddie laughs in response.

"Children!" You call out, dramatically cupping your hands around your mouth as you walked into the living room and see Dustin, Lucas, Mike, and to your surprise, Erica, sitting at the dining table playing D&D. "(Y/N)!" Dustin calls out as he stands up from his seat and rushes over to give you a hug. "Hey Henderson." You smile as he pulls away and goes to hug Eddie. You say hello to the rest of the kids and look around the table at their game. "It's great that you're here Eddie, now we can have a Dungeon Master that's actually good." Mike says as Lucas shoots his head over with an offended look on his face. "Dude! You said I was doing good!" He spoke as Mike stuttered, trying to find words to defend himself. "No, No, you were it's just... Eddie's better." He says as Lucas shakes his head.

"No, young warriors, the Master is not playing tonight." Eddie retorted, holding his hand up. He could hear their whines and groans of disappointment as well as them trying to persuade him to reconsider. "No, no, no, boys― and Lady Applejack, this Dungeon Master's only mission right now is to take care of my lovely, partner here." He smiles as he reaches his arms around your waist and press kisses to your neck from behind you. "Eddie." You laughed as you heard the kids groan in disgust and turning their eyes away from you and Eddie. Eddie pulls his lips away from your neck and rests his head on your neck, his arms still securely around your waist.

About an hour had passed, and you were sitting on the couch with Eddie at your side as you watched TV. You heard the kids continuing their journey in D&D, turning your head every time you heard something interesting happen. Eddie shifted his body slightly and put his forearm on the top of the couch and his cheek on his palm, you could feel his eyes burning into you. "What?" You finally asked as you turned to face him. "Nothing." He said, shaking his head. "Just― admiring my favorite thing in the world." He added with a shit-eating grin on his face. You shook your head, looking down at the seat of the couch. He reaches his hand down to your chin and raises up your head as he leans in to press his lips against yours. You hummed against his lips as he pressed further, lying his hands softly on your stomach. You reached your hand up to lie on his cheek, his lips moving along with yours. His hands had reached underneath your shirt and laid on your stomach. The coldness of his rings sends a shiver through your body, causing a smirk to form on his lips.

"Jesus guys, get a room!" Eddie pulls away and looks up at Dustin, who had just yelled from across the room. You pulled away from Eddie and sat up straight on the couch, embarrassment running through your body. "Oh trust me, that would not be fun for you Henderson, there would be sounds you would never recover from hearing." He says with a smug smile spread across his face and all of the kids faces fill with disgust as they all yell.

"Gross dude!" Lucas yells.

"That's disgusting, Eddie!" Dustin yells as he shakes his head.

Eddie laughs as he looks back at you, covering your face with both hands in embarrassment. He grabs ahold of both your hands and pulls them away from your face, revealing an embarrassed smile on your lips. "Oh my god, Eddie." You said quietly, and all he does is laugh in response.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Taglist: @trashmouth-munson-things @i-dontevenknowman @mossywizardgoblin @stratospherewalker @luvwanda

#— hunterwritings #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things season 4 #st4

1K notes · View notes

mostlyinthemorning · 1 year

Text

Okay tumblr, do you want to hear the story of the time I had a live badger under the front seat of my car?

A few of you have heard this story before, but I feel like you might be okay hearing it again.

So.

Mumblety years ago, my first real job after university was working at a wildlife rescue centre. Basically, people would find injured and orphaned wild animals and they’d call us up and we’d nurse them back to health or raise them until they were grown enough to go back to the wild. Most of the time the patients were birds (robins, so many robins) and small mammals, like squirrels, but occasionally we got a more unusual animal.

One day, this baby badger comes in, he's really small, probably about 6 weeks old.

Super cute, kind of like this:

At six weeks old he’s still nursing so we bottle fed him for a few weeks and then eventually, when he started eating solid food like mice, we put him out into an outdoor enclosure. By the end of the summer, he's catching and eating his own food and he's growls super ferociously whenever anyone comes up to the cage.

Ah-ha, we think, we have rehabbed him successfully. He's ready to be released!

The wildlife center isn’t really located in badger habitat, but I was planning to travel to visit my parents, about four hours south, and they lived in the country and had lots of gophers for him to eat. Thus, a plan was born. I would visit my parents, I would take the badger with me, he would be happily released into the wild, and my friend and I would go camping, just to round out the weekend.

So, my friend (who also works at the wildlife centre) and I happily load our things and our badger into the back of my very small Toyota Tercel. (You see where this is going, I hope.)

My car was like this, but blue.

You might notice that this is not a very large car. And you’d be right.

Badger safely stowed in the back seat, we head south. I think it’s important to mention that the badger is in a plywood crate with a sliding wood door that goes up and down as this will be relevant later on.

Now, it’s a blazingly hot day, probably 35C/95F and my little car doesn't have air conditioning. It is hot. Even with the windows down. And the badger is annoyed. We can tell he’s annoyed by the loud and angry growls coming from the back seat.

Our plan is to stop about 1.5 hours into the trip to visit a bank and a grocery store. The badger doesn’t care about this plan. He’s still very annoyed.

We pull up to the bank, parking in the shade so the badger won't be toasty in the sun, and we go inside. This is before the days of paying with everything with debit cards so we needed cash. We come back out pretty quickly and open the door of the car and immediately there's a problem. The badger is still growling, but now the growls are coming from under the front seat of my car.

We slam the door closed and try to decide what to do. Because we’re going camping, we aren't really prepared for anything other than opening up the door of the crate and watching the badger run away. We don't have any gloves, or a towel, or even so much as a business card saying that we are allowed to have a live badger in our car. As we're standing there, trying to figure out what to do about our predicament, people keep coming up to us to ask if we've locked our keys in the car. (If only!)

I crack open the door of the car a few times, and the badger growls at me every time. Clearly, he lives under the front seat of the car now. We have to do something. It’s still hot, and now we’re behind schedule and we still have 2.5 hours left to drive.

A guy in a big oilfield truck pulls into the parking spot beside us. Figuring we don’t have a choice, we accost him as he gets out of his truck and ask if he has any gloves we can borrow. He admits that he does, but, of course, he wants to know why.

We explain.

He absolutely refuses to get involved but he agrees to lend us his gloves. Apparently he doesn’t have any reservations about watching two 20-something young women wrestle a live badger as long as he doesn’t have to do it himself. Gloves secured, we open the door of the car.

The growling gets louder.

It's still coming from under the seat.

Now, I don't know if you've ever tried to stick your hand under the front seat of a Toyota Tercel in order to retrieve a live badger. But there's not much room.

The other thing you should probably know about badgers is that the scruff of their neck is extremely loose so that they can twist around if a predator grabs them.

All of this is to say that wrestling a badger out from under the seat of your car is vaguely similar to trying to fish an angry, squirmy cat out from underneath your bed, if the cat had 2 inch claws and the ability to completely rotate in its own skin. In a public parking lot. While trying not to attract a crowd of onlookers.

Finally, after much swearing, we manage to shove the badger out from under the seat, I grab it and slam it back into its crate.

Whew, we think. At least we fixed that problem. But everything is okay now. Back to the plan!

It takes about five seconds for us to discover that the badger released himself by sticking his claws under the sliding door and lifting it up.

At this point, you probably won’t be surprised to learn that long with our lack of gloves, we also don't have any tools that we might use to fix the door of the crate. But somehow we manage to wedge the door of the crate shut.

Whew, we think. At least we fixed that problem. But everything is okay now. Back to the plan!

You might be sensing a theme, and you’d be right. With the hindsight of some years since then, we probably should have turned around. Oh, to be 23 again.

It's still 35 degrees.

The badger is still angry.

We still have 2.5 hours worth of driving ahead of us.

We head out on the highway and the trip gains the soundtrack that I can still hear to this day.

Growl, growl, scratch, scratch.

We turn up the music. The badger growls louder.

I’m already doing ten over the speed limit. I drive a bit faster. Did I mention that the car doesn’t have air conditioning?

Growl, growl, scratch, scratch.

Thunk. Scratch, scratch. Thunk.

Our gerry-rigged closure on the crate has failed and the badger is sticking his claws beneath the door and lifting up the door. It’s only going to be seconds before a hot angry badger is loose in the car. We’re fifteen minutes from my parents’ house.

I pull onto the shoulder of the highway and my friend scrambles into the backseat. Putting all of her weight on the sliding door, she holds it down as the badger scratches furiously. I pull back onto the highway, now I’m going twenty over the limit.

Fifteen long, hot, and exhausting minutes later, we arrive at my parents’ house. I swear the badger's growls can be heard in Ottawa. Gasping a hello to my mom and dad, we lug the heavy crate with the heavy badger out into the field, wanting to release it as quickly as possible.

The growling gets louder. The crate might be the heaviest thing I’ve carried in my life. Staggering through the field, we finally decide we're far enough away from the house. We lift the door of the crate. The badger dashes for freedom—which is to say that it runs ten feet away and turns to look at us.

Whew, we think. At least we made it here. But everything is okay now. We did it!

Heaving a sigh of relief, we gather up the crate and turn to go back the way we came.

The badger follows us.

We walk faster.

The badger chases after us, practically at our heels.

We jump across the creek.

The badger launches itself into the water, swimming after us.

We stop. The badger comes and sits at our feet like the world’s shortest, widest dog. We look at it. It stares back at us. Maybe the badger just needs a moment to consider its life of freedom. We wait. The badger wanders away. We pick up the crate for a second time and try to walk away. The badger is having none of it. It gallops after us. I pick up the wet badger and tuck it under my arm. This is the happiest it's been all day. Clearly, we are not releasing this badger into the wild.

Now, friends, we have a dilemma. We’re four hours from home, it’s getting late, and whatever we decide to from this point forward is going to involve a slightly damp, half-grown badger made of growls.

Our plan, if you can call it that at this point, was to release the badger and then go camping in a nearby national park. This now seems like a bad idea. But we're four hours from home and we have to do something.

So.

We decide to take the badger camping. In a moment of prudence, we forgo the national park and choose a nearby provincial park instead.

We drive to the park. The badger rides on my friend’s lap. There’s no growling.

We set up our campsite. Thankfully, the campground is nearly empty. While we’re setting up the tent, the badger explores the campsite, amusing himself by digging a few holes and making sure to keep us in sight. It was like having a very short, very growly dog who likes to dig.

I’m sure it won’t surprise you in the least if I say that it’s at this point that we realize we’ve forgotten the matches for the stove.

The nearest town is twenty minutes away. The badger will have to go back in the crate for the journey. The badger is not a fan of this idea. But we get him back into the crate—something that’s a lot easier now that we know he’s not trying to eat us—and we head for town, accompanied by the now-familiar symphony of growling.

Now, it's been a bit of a day. So I think I should be forgiven for accidentally going over the speed limit on the way out of the campsite. This is, of course, when I get pulled over. Remember, we don't have a single piece of official wildlife-related ID between us, not even so much as a business card. This was before cell phones so we can’t even phone the wildlife center to vouch for us. We're both convinced that this is it, that we're probably going to jail for wildlife smuggling. And the badger is never getting out of that crate. In the backseat, the badger is growling louder than ever.

The officer comes up to the car window.

The badger growls.

We hold our breath.

The badger growls even louder.

The officer proceeds to absolutely ream me out for going twenty over the limit. The badger growls at every word. The officer doesn't even acknowledge the badger. I apologize profusely. I promise to never ever do it again. The officer gives me a warning. The badger growls. I drive away very, very slowly.

The next day we drive home and I can't even remember the details of the trip, I think I've blocked it out, but I’m pretty sure we let the badger had free-run of the car. When we got back to the wildlife center, we learned that badgers don't leave their moms until they're a bit older. We put him back in his cage, and about four months later, he digs his way out. And every now and then for about a year after that, people would come to the wildlife centre and say that an overly-friendly badger had come up to them on our nature trail.

And this is why I always make sure to carry gloves in my car.

THE END

#houdini tells stories #wildlife rescue is a time let me tell you #badgers are the best

447 notes · View notes