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#always up for some angst
strawberri-draws · 2 months
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"Innocence died screaming, Honey ask me, I should know. I slithered here from Eden; Just to sit outside your door"
-From Eden, Hozier
aka: au where they grow old in the dungeon together in their monster forms.
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kateis-cakeis · 5 months
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I think what really gets to me with the finale is that Merlin was so close to getting Arthur to the lake. Yet, there was no plan beyond that. It's like even if they did get there, who knows if anything would have happened.
The idea that there was still more tragedy awaiting even if they made it, that yeah despite all of Merlin’s magic, he couldn't save Arthur's life.
It was always the possibility of the Sidhe, but there was no guarantee. It was all hope from the start, endless hope that failed them in the end.
Because well, it was always supposed to happen like this anyway... Arthur was meant to die so he could rise again, there was no alternative
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stagefoureddiediaz · 1 month
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Thinking about step 9 and the whole concept of forgiveness of one’s self and others and it bringing healing and how bobby and Eddie have been paralleled a fair amount and the idea that Eddie started this process back at the end of s5 with his forgiveness and acceptance of his father but how he hasn’t yet gone anywhere near his mother and their relationship .
How his catholic guilt storyline seems more likely to play on his reltionship with his mother than his father (if his father wasn’t around that much it would’ve been Helena taking him to church etc each week) so the idea of an Eddie - Helena storyline that plays on catholic guilt and potentially his queerness in relation to that has me chewing on glass - it could be so epically good
#I’ve always viewed Helena as the biggest issue in Eddie’s relationship with his parents - Ramon has always - to me a least always seemed to#just go along with what Helena wants or dictates#it made sense with how his trauma ptsd army related arc played out that it was Ramon who was the centre of that#now though - catholic guilt - possibly playing into his queerness and suppression of that queerness#to keep some kind of reltionship with his mother - who only seems to view him through a lens of failure#leading him down a road where he wasn’t able to be his true self - it would be so powerful#there is so much potential there#eddie saying his mother wasn’t an issue in s6 - was such a choice and so pointed that they have to be wanting to explore that#so many aspects of who Eddie is and why he is the way he is - his want to nest but not being able to with women - stems from his mommy#issues and the fact he’s been denying they exist#I will eat it up - it would be the right kind of angst for the show and Ryan would deliver#plus the way it parallels with Bobby and his relationship with Catholicism would be fascinating#not to mention the whole Eddie not having a relationship with the faith he was brought up in only to start dating someone who is a literal#embodiment of that faith - and female - as a symbol of his needing to explore and reconcile the actual reasons for his faith lapsing- become#could not be queer and Latino and catholic when Eddie was growing up - it wasn’t an option - so if you step away from the faith that’s#denying a fundamental aspect of who you are#even if you still can’t act upon it - ​it is easier to keep that part of you concealed#911 spoilers#911 Thinky thoughts#eddie diaz#I need this arc to be a thing so badly#911 abc
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thwackk · 1 year
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something. eeugh
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shima-draws · 9 months
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Actually curious as to what people’s general opinion of Ozbert is in this year of 2023. Does shipping them equate to getting hashtag cancelled? Are they still The OTP of the series?? Or are they strictly Platonic Besties For Life. I do not know
It’s weird tho bc obviously if you’ve read the manga you KNOW their situation is very Complicated™️. When they were both the same age it was fine but then Oz got yeeted into the Abyss and time jumped 10 years forward while he was in there for like 3 days and suddenly Gil’s like. 9 years older than him. But then Uncle Oscar still classifies Oz as being 25 even tho he’s physically 15. And then we find out that Oz’s body isn’t even HIS it belongs to Jack so that’s messed up. AND we find out Gil’s actually not just 24 he’s OVER 100 years old bc Baskerville shit. And THEN we find out Oz is actually the true B Rabbit so that makes it so he’s probably even older than Gil is. When we get to the end of the series they’re both canonically confirmed to be hundred(s) of years old so I’m sitting here like. Well,
ALSO looking at these manga panels and official artworks and stuff from the anime I’m like
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Well, there’s definitely SOMETHING going on there, that’s for sure,
#And don’t even get me STARTED on the omakes. Holy shit#Shima speaks#Anyway either way they are a wonderful duo.#Gil’s always been SO ride or die for Oz and I respect that#I just see them together and I’m like 🥰 There they are. My boys#Pandora Hearts spoilers#Pandora Hearts#Ozbert#Oz Vessalius#Gilbert Nightray#They’re not straight. I know THAT for a fact. LOL#And see there’s the appealing thing. The absolute ANGST involved#Gil who grew up harboring feelings for Oz but knowing it was wrong and that he could never ever act upon them#And by the time he’s an adult he still has some sort of feelings for Oz. It’s very complex#And then out pops Oz from the Abyss!! And he doesn’t look ANY different from the last time Gil saw him#Meanwhile Oz who was still figuring things out but who was almost sure he liked Gil That Way#And then it hits HARD when he’s in the Abyss not even knowing if Gil is alive#And when he finds out Gil’s all grown up.#I mean YEAH I’d develop a massive crush too are you KIDDING#It’d be frustrating tho bc Oz is still technically a teenager.#But then he figures out oh hey I’m actually? A being that’s existed for a LONG long time. And one that isn’t even human#So I can totally see him whole heartedly chasing after Gil once he realizes that#Anyway. Rant over sorry LOL#Either way. Again. They’re so so close in canon there is SOMETHING going on between them#(Not to mention the fact the anime really loved that and tried hinting at it super obviously)
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starflungwaddledee · 6 months
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rouge-the-bat · 7 months
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"shadows a teen! haha, teen angst edgelord" shadow was literally drinking at a bar with rouge in sonic x
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harbingersecho · 8 months
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RVBtober 8+9 > fall + revelation "You know, sometimes, when somebody falls off a cliff in movies, he's actually just over the edge, hanging on a tree branch or something." "Nope. He's definitely dead."
... and he is. presumably.
(also if you ever decide to try and make a 2-page comic in 2 days even if half of it is just a paintover. don't do that. that's the devil talking)
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clowningaroundmars · 1 month
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heeyyy yaaalllll
so i was thinking to myself, i love punkflower. i really do.
what if there was a hobie in miles' universe and he didnt have to do the whole long distance relationship across dimensions thing, though? just keep his lil secret crush on spiderpunk a secret and keep it pushing, only to literally bump into his own hobie brown in 1610 one day?
wouldnt that be cool, guys?
wouldnt it? :)
wouldnt :) it :) be :) so :) cool? :) and so cute too?
:)
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Miles was late.
It was his first day back, the very beginning of his junior year at Visions Academy and he was late. God damn.
His parents were really gonna kill him this time, no doubt about it. There weren't even any good Spiderman excuses he could use to weasel his way out of getting into trouble this time! He'd just have to cross his fingers and pray that his chemistry teacher for this year wasn't a total hardass like last year's English teacher.
Maybe he could make up some dumb excuse this time, try to wriggle his way into the professor's good graces with some blatant lie. Anyways, whose dumb idea was it to put him in a class so damn far from the entrance doors so early in the mor--
BRRRRRRING!
Miles tore around a corner just as the final bell rang throughout the mostly-empty hallways, inciting panic in his chest and making him nearly launch himself down another hallway just to get to his class.
In his haste, he nearly knocked over a very tall and very... familiar looking person that happened to be in Miles' trajectory. Luckily, bodies didn't end up colliding but the shock of having a person fly so quickly into their line of sight shocked the both of them into skidding to a sudden stop.
The tall person ended up dropping a textbook and what seemed like an enormous packet of papers, because sheets scattered absolutely everywhere, almost like snow.
Ugh. Of course.
They both stared down at the mess in the middle of the hallway floor for a beat.
Then, Miles exhaled a laugh, shaking his head.
"Aw man, I-I'm sorry! I just uh... here, lemme just--"
They both bent down to quickly scoop up the papers as Miles stuttered and spoke a hundred miles a minute, trying to apologize for the heart-stopping scare he caused. Just as Miles shuffled the papers together in his hands, he finally looked up at the unlucky student he almost football-tackled first thing in the morning... and nearly dropped the papers onto the floor again.
Kneeled right in front of him with papers and a textbook tucked under a skinny arm, long fingers nervously plucking up what was left of the rest of the packet, was none other than... Hobie Brown.
Oh. God.
This Hobie didn't seem to be Miles' Hobie, though.
(Miles' temperature rose a bit as he quickly thought: wait, my Hobie? That's not right, either.)
Instead of large freeform locs that tapered off like wicks, he was sporting long uniform locs that were piled up high in a loose ponytail on his head, most likely due to the school policy that stated boys needed to have hair above the nape of their neck. Miles kinda wondered about that policy, if he ever decided to grow out his hair; would pulling his hair up be enough? Or would they police his hair length and force him to cut it all off?
Well, turns out the answer was literally right in front of him. Another shock to the system right after the first one.
That was Miles' excuse, really. It was just so dang early in the morning and he really really wasn't thinking when he opened his mouth and basically shouted "Hobie?!"
It honest to god sounded like it echoed in the hallway.
He slapped a hand over his mouth, immediately chastising himself for the stupid mistake he made, mentally kicking himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid!! He wasn't supposed to know this guy obviously, they hadn't even met in their dimension yet!
Hobie, for his part, didn't seem perturbed by this at all though. He took the papers from Miles' hands and straightened himself back up to his full height, offering a hand so that Miles could stand up too.
He shrugged shyly and hid behind a couple locs that happened to fall back into his face, holding the books and papers closer to his chest.
"Uhmmn yeah, sorry. I-I'm runnin' late to my first class so I can't really give any autographs right now. Maybe later... if we see each other, ok?"
Miles blinked owlishly. Did he just say... autographs?
And wait a minute... was this Hobie... American?
Miles' poor little sleep-deprived mind was being blown again and again. He really didn't know if he was ever going to recover from this.
Hobie started to back up and walk away so Miles held his hands up to stop him. "Wait wait wait, autographs? I'm not uh-- sorry, this is weird," he laughed, rubbing his neck. "Nah, man. That's cool. I don't really want any autographs. Are you uh-- are you famous, actually?"
It was this Hobie's turn to blink owlishly now, hesitating a bit. A non-pierced eyebrow was raised as he said, "I... I kinda am...?"
He turned and pointed out the giant window of the hallway that they happened to be standing by, and Miles craned his neck to peer outside.
It smacked him right in the face once his eyes landed on it: a giant billboard fixed atop a neighboring building that depicted Hobie Brown in a luxurious-looking perfume ad. He sported the same locs as he did in real life, wearing shiny-looking makeup and giving the viewer the fiercest, smokiest look Miles has ever seen from a model in a hot minute. He was clutching deep purple satin, wrapped in it, basking in it. A single perfume bottle with a deep purple bow on the neck was photoshopped next to him, matching the overall vibe of the ad.
Miles was rooted to the spot, absolutely gobsmacked. How in the world did he miss that?!
Distantly, a small echo of a conversation he had in what seemed like a lifetime ago floated up from a memory. "I was briefly a runway model" pulsed in his neural pathways for a quick second.
Slowly, the gears started turning in his head. Slowly, he turned back to his dimension's Hobie Brown, who was giving him a strange sort of look.
Miles awkwardly tried to gather himself up, waving his hands around as he struggled for a non-weird explanation to his very weird behavior.
"I-I mean-- ahahaha! Yeah I mean, obviously you're famous! I was just y'know-- playin' with you. Pulling your leg and all that, I guess... heh."
The strange dubious look on Hobie's face didn't budge. "...Right."
Miles coughed conspicuously, trying to change the subject. "But uh yeah, haven't seen you around this school much then! Are you... you in a different grade than me or...?"
The corner of Hobie's mouth twitched suddenly, and for a split second Miles wondered if he said something wrong.
But then Hobie chuckled a bit. "No, I don't think so? This is my first day here. Like... ever. So I'm not really surprised you haven't seen me before. I just transferred over."
Miles practically sighed in relief and nodded, hands in his pockets. "Right! Right, very cool. Welcome to Visions then, I guess. Uh... I'm Miles! Miles Morales. Nice to meet ya!"
He goofily stuck a hand out, which Hobie actually accepted. They shook hands for a second, and then Miles was suddenly taken aback by how cold his hand was against his own skin. It was a definite contrast to the warm and lanky body he remembered practically draped across his own, back in Mumbattan.
He forced those particular memories away for now.
This Hobie was smiling down at him, sad eyes set inside a seemingly genuine expression of fondness. "Cool. I'm Hobie. But, uh, it seems like you already knew that, so."
"Aha, yeah yeah! It just-- honestly it's just the shock of, uh, running into a major celeb in the middle of my school that really got to me, I think. Sorry. I probably look like a total weirdo right now!"
Hobie shook his head, and Miles took the opportunity to really study this guy now that the shock was over and the vibe was more chill. This Hobie was just as long and lanky as the punk anarchist Miles was already well acquainted with, but he held himself completely differently. Where Spider-Hobie was all confident strut and careless swagger, this Hobie seemed to be all reserved grace and... sadness? He definitely reminded Miles of a willow tree drooping down into a lake, beautiful but tragic at the same time.
Okay Miles, get it together, he thought, stop thinking this guy is beautiful. I mean, he is beautiful yeah... but c'mon man, focus!
Hobie's non-pierced lips were moving now, finishing a sentence that Miles most definitely did not catch.
Then, Hobie looked at him expectantly.
Oh shit. He just asked a question didn't he? Fuck.
"Uh, sorry... one more time?" Miles grinned as wide as he could, apologetic. Nice going, Morales, the humorless voice in his head chimed in. Definitely not convincing this guy you're an alien from outer space or anything!
Hobie huffed a laugh and cleared his throat. "Sorry, my fault. Sometimes I mumble and... yeah. Mom says I need to work on that," he sighed, then continued, "I was just wondering if you knew where room 301 was?"
Miles nearly jumped with the force of the realization that just hit him.
"301? Mr. Moriarty's class?"
"Y-yeah, that's the one," Hobie smiled, twirling a loc on one finger and tugging it a bit. Then he tucked it back behind his ear. "I'm actually so lost it's not even funny, I'm godawful at directions and like, navigating. I've been looking for it for like 20 minutes now--"
"That's where my first class is too! AP chem!"
Hobie seemed to brighten up a bit at that, straightening his posture up from his own self-conscious hunch. "Oh cool! We should probably get going then, if we don't wanna be more late than we already are."
Without thinking, Miles places a hand on Hobie's shoulder and steers them both towards a classroom right at the end of the hallway they were in.
"Of course, right this way! Pretty lucky you ran into me, huh? I can help you find your other classes later on if you want, too."
For the first time since nearly crashing into him, Miles looked up at Hobie and saw genuine happiness in his eyes as they grinned at each other and walked down the hall together.
"...Yeah," Hobie said, nodding slowly. "Yeah that'd be pretty cool. Thanks!"
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Their chemistry teacher ended up not being a total hardass after all! Especially when Miles rolled up with none other than Famous Model Hobie in tow, immediately causing a ripple of whispers amongst the students sat at their desks.
Mr. Moriarty was a short and stumpy old man with a kind face and a severely receding hairline. He took one look at Hobie after squinting at his attendance sheet, accepted Miles' quick explanation that they were late because Hobie's minty fresh enrollment got him all lost in these maze-like hallways, and excused their tardiness with a wave of a hand.
"It's the first day and you were very kind to help a new student out, Mr. Morales. You're both excused for today, but try not to make a habit of it, alright?"
Miles bobbed his head as he picked his way past rows of desks. "Absolutely, sir. No problem at all. Thanks a bunch!"
Hobie stuck close to him, and smiled a bit as the only two desks left empty in the whole room happened to be right next to each other, right up in the back of the class. Nice.
They took their seats and exchanged a couple of glances as they pulled out their notebooks, barely listening to their professor's quick introduction and class syllabus. Well, Miles was barely listening, anyways. He was too caught up in the euphoria of running into a dimensional variant of one of his friends, in Visions Academy no less! His mind started to wander a bit. Did a 1610 Gwen exist too? a 1610 Pavitr? Were they also here at Visions? And what was with these random stares he and Hobie were getting from their fellow classmates right now?
Every now and then a student's head would swivel back to glance in their direction, awestruck looks evident on their faces.
How famous was Hobie anyway?
Of course, there was that giant billboard conveniently placed within view of the school's back hallways near a busy intersection, but Miles really started to think. He sneakily pulled out his phone and swiped down to the lowest brightness he could in case the classroom's fluorescent lighting wasn't enough to hide the phone screen's own light.
He kept his face straight forward, eyes flicking to and from his typing that he was trying to conceal behind the student sitting in front of him. He typed Hobie Brown model, Hobie Brown perfume ad, Hobie Brown supermodel, getting absolutely nothing every single time. Well, nothing that looked like the Hobie Brown sitting next to him, who happened to be dutifully scribbling down some notes in his notebook. Miles looked down at his own empty sheet of paper and quickly copied his new friend, whipping out a pencil and hurrying to catch up with the lecture on the whiteboard before the professor moved on.
Groan. What gives? Was Hobie this super accomplished, totally famous supermodel or not? Maybe he wasn't on social media, oddly enough. Maybe he just started an illustrious career and happened to be famous only in Brooklyn right now? No, that didn't make sense. If he was some small-time influencer or whatever, people would not be asking for autographs so often that Hobie would just automatically assume anyone who recognized him wanted one. And the looks on these other kids' faces convinced Miles that... maybe something was missing. Maybe he's just not searching up the right terms?
Agh, if only Spiderman business didn't keep him totally detached from reality sometimes. He really felt like he and the rest of the world were on totally different planets. If he had any friends besides Ganke, he probably would've heard about Hobie by now.
He bit his lip in concentration, trying to multitask between forming theories and keeping up with the lesson in the front of the classroom.
Then, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a pair of eyes staring straight at him that didn't belong to the other classmates he barely even knew. He glanced over at Hobie, who quickly looked away.
Was that... an embarrassed look on his face just now? Miles scratched at his jaw a bit, more confused than before.
That was weird. Whatever. Anyways...
Before long, class was over and the bell rang. Miles and Hobie both meandered slowly up to the door and hung around the outside, leaning against the wall as they compared schedules before they had to make their way to their next class.
"Dang," Miles lamented, clutching his own schedule and moving to slot it into the cover of his binder. "Looks like we don't share any more classes besides 1st period..."
Hobie stopped his hand and squinted at the sheet again, glancing back at his own. "Uhmm... nah, actually. I think we might have 6th period together? Right after lunch."
"Do we share a lunch period too, actually?" Miles asked excitedly.
Hobie made a small noise of triumph, a smile playing over his lips. "Yeah! 1st, lunch and then 6th. Okay. Better than nothing, right?"
Miles chuckled, shoving his schedule into the plastic and tucking it under his arm. "Definitely. We can eat together at the cafeteria if you want! I'll walk you to your next class though, since it's basically right around the corner."
Hobie shrugged his own backpack back onto his shoulder and shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. His eyes were cast downwards as he grinned at the floor and said, "yeah, if you don't mind... that'd be pretty cool."
This guy sure does like the word cool, Miles thought, and away to Hobie's next class they both went. They both ignored the various whispers and stares in their direction. Miles was already used to it by now.
They walked together amiably, in near lockstep for a little while before Hobie finally spoke up again.
"... So... if you don't mind me asking... why are you so nice to me if you didn't know I was famous, then?"
It was an innocent enough question, but it kinda caught Miles off guard nonetheless.
He laughed nervously. "Uhh ahaha, whaddya mean? I did know you were famous! I just... y'know my brain doesn't work the best real early in the morning. I'm, uh. Sometimes I can be pretty weird, if you haven't noticed by now."
Hobie nodded slowly, digesting this information for a bit. "Yeah, you did recognize me in the first place, I guess. It's just weird, you're like... the first person I met that doesn't look at me like I'm made out of solid gold, though. That's all..."
They exchanged glances again, and Miles' brain was working into overdrive, thinking of an appropriate response.
Before he could open his mouth, they finally reached their destination and Hobie bumped Miles' shoulder with his arm, smiling.
"So, thanks. For, uh... this. All this."
Miles raised a brow at him. "Oh yeah, this is nothing. I just walked you over to your next class, no biggie. My class is right over here anyways, so--"
Hobie laughed and shook his head, the expression lighting up his facial features unlike anything Miles has seen on that face yet.
"No, Miles. Not just this. I mean, like..." Hobie dipped his head, a bashful sort of move. "I mean, like, being nice to me. Like forreal. I really appreciate this."
They looked at each other for a moment, something real warm growing in Miles' chest all of a sudden, something... familiar.
He was just about to casually brush the gratitude off a second time with a dorky quip, before some girl's screechy voice interrupted their private little moment out of nowhere. It honestly startled them both, and the nice warm atmosphere dissipated immediately.
"Oh. My. GOD!! Is that Hobie Jones? Like actually?!"
She giggled and bounded up to them, blatantly ignoring Miles to insert herself between them and crowd into Hobie's space. She coquettishly asked for a selfie with him, promising to tag him on social media. The sudden commotion unfortunately attracted some other students who then took their cue to also bother Hobie for autographs, selfies, throwing compliments left and right.
Miles backed up out of the crowd, eyes still on Hobie as he watched the poor guy metaphorically slip on a mask, the very same that Miles saw when they first met not 2 hours ago. It was a sad, detached sort of look, and Hobie was forced to hunch in on himself to meet his fellow students' heights as they snapped selfie after selfie. His lips formed a smile all the while. His eyes did not.
A pang of sympathy hit Miles as he slowly turned away and made his way down to his own classroom without so much as a goodbye. He shrugged to himself, shaking his head. Yeah, he knew how that felt, just trying to mind your own business and live your life, do what you have to do-- and being stopped by nearly every living being within a 50 ft radius wanting their photo ops and their babies kissed.
Miles smiled to himself as he shouldered his way past other students and sauntered into his class, right on time. The bell rang as he reached his desk, and he pulled out another notebook out of his bag before the realization finally hit him with the force of a truck.
Wait... Hobie JONES?!
Miles quickly glanced around at his surroundings and mentally kicked himself yet again for choosing a seat so close to the teacher's desk, almost right up at the front. Damnit!
But the teacher wasn't in the classroom just yet, most likely making a quick run down to the printer down the hall to make copies of the class syllabus or something.
Okay, Morales. Gotta be quick.
He hastily pulled out his phone yet again, one eye on the door. He quickly typed in Hobie Jones model in his browser's search box, letting out a breath as search results loaded up and gave him exactly what he was looking for this entire time.
Bingo.
Hobie's face popped up in the image search previews, all sorts of cool and striking photoshoots lit up in all kinds of different ways. And the very first link at the top of the page? Hobie's own Flickstagram.
With a shaky hand, Miles tapped the link and impatiently waited for it to load, for his phone to get with the program and just open the damn app already. He kept glancing every so often at the door yet again, praying that the printer or copier-- or whatever-the-hell that was keeping the professor away from the class-- would keep them away for just a second longer.
He finally cast his gaze back down onto his own Flickstagram app and his heart nearly dropped out of his chest.
At the top, right next to Hobie's own smoldering profile picture was his username: hobiemjones
hobiemjones... hobie m jones. Hobie M. Jones.
M.J.
Miles exhaled again and tucked his phone away in shock just as the classroom door opened yet again and all the students quieted down. This class's teacher made their way over to their desk, piles of papers in hand. They started to pass them out to the students in the front row, introducing themself and then going over the usual attendance policies.
Miles accepted the syllabus sheets with trembling hands, turning to pass them over his shoulder once he got his own, his mind running a hundred miles a minute.
Peter talked nonstop about his wife, whenever he managed to stop talking about his baby, that is. It was always MJ this, MJ that. Flashes of a middle-aged man staring forlornly at a picture of his then-ex wife-- grieving the one who got away-- raced across his mind's eye. His universe's own MJ standing at a podium, strong but deeply hurt as she addressed all of Brooklyn after Spiderman's funeral.
"She wanted kids and I... just wasn't ready," echoed over and over in Miles' mind. Of course, they're together now. But the way Peter talked about his divorce... oh god.
Wait... was Miles ready for kids? Were he and Hobie going to have a messy on-and-off again relationship that ended up with them having to care for a spider-baby just like Mayday?! Maybe even multiple spider-babies?!?!?
Miles loosened his tie a bit, sweating profusely.
The fact that neither Hobie nor Miles were equipped with the parts to make a baby together flew right over his head. No... instead, his mind skipped straight to marriage, messy emotional fights and inevitable breakups. How was he gonna juggle school, work, Spiderman stuff and a relationship all at once?!
Without realizing, Miles started hyperventilating.
No no no no no, cool it Miles. COOL IT. Don't be weird. Miles mentally slapped himself and tried to even out his breathing as he leaned back in his seat and wiped some sweat off his brow.
He just proved to Miguel O' Hara and the entire multiverse this past spring that he can do his own thing, canon events be damned. Miles Morales was no victim to fate. Maybe all of the other spider-people had their own MJs. But maybe in this universe, MJ and Spiderman were... just friends. Good friends! ...Yeah, yeah, just friends...
The idea floated around in Miles' head throughout the entire rest of the class, but it didn't really make the tightness in his chest loosen up any at all.
Once the bell rang again and everyone started packing their things up, Miles dawdled a bit by the door, fumbling with his phone as his classmates filed out of the room. If he was late enough, maybe he'd completely miss Hobie in the hallways and not have to see him at all. Miles double-checked, triple-checked his schedule again and again, mapping out an eventual escape route through the halls in case Hobie's path did intercept Miles'.
God, Miles thought ruefully, checking the hour on his phone for the 15th time in a row and smiling awkwardly at his teacher's questioning glance. You're being so fucking weird about this right now!
The rational part of his brain kicked in and presented a quick slideshow of other calmer, more reasonable explanations as to why he really shouldn't be avoiding his new friend like the plague all of a sudden.
1. Hobie probably doesn't and won't like me, it stated. There is literally no proof that Hobie Jones is even into guys. Or me, Miles Morales.
2. Even if Hobie Jones is into guys-- or me, Miles Morales-- that does not mean the endgame is automatically marriage. No sir, no proof of that at all!
3. Canon events were officially disproven. Kinda. Mostly. Sort of?
C'mon, bro. Just man up and get out there. You're gonna be late for the next class soon anyways.
Right. He inhaled deeply and steeled himself.
"Okay well, uh. Have a nice day Mx. Gonzalez! See ya... tomorrow." Miles cringed inwardly at how lame that sounded, but his teacher didn't seem to notice as they bid him a nice day as well.
With his heart in his stomach, Miles slowly made his way into the hallway and started walking at a brisk pace, keeping his eyeline straight in front of him, trying to reach his next class on the floor below quickly but manageably. It was when he reached the stairs that his heart sank even lower.
Hobie was standing right next to the stairwell, glaring at the school map placed on the wall off to the left, fingertips on his chin as he mumbled to himself. He was glancing up and down between the map and his schedule in his hand, clearly befuddled.
Damn, he really is bad at navigating, Miles mused, once he recovered.
But as luck would have it, tragedy struck right then. Miles being pretty much the only other kid in the hallway attracted Hobie's attention, and even though Miles' feet kept him moving, he almost tripped on air once Hobie perked up upon seeing him.
"Miles!" Hobie grinned and waved him over, clearly happy to see him.
Oh noooo. Miles was not as happy to see him.
Without thinking, he launched himself down the flight of stairs, hopping over the railing and landing loudly on the 1st floor. Once steady, he basically sprinted over to his 3rd period class, completely missing the way Hobie's sunny grin slowly disappeared and his hand lowered back down to his side.
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Lunchtime came and went. Miles ate his packed lunch at his usual perch on top of the school building, where he always hid while trying to avoid the rest of the student body. He managed to pick a good spot away from prying eyes, and it never failed him.
Hobie ate alone, at a table tucked into the corner of the cafeteria despite being invited to several other tables. He sat and chewed sadly, locs back in front of his eyes, posture hunched over and defeated.
6th period came and went. Miles purposefully kept his gaze averted as Hobie walked in 5 minutes late. They sat at opposite ends of the room, never acknowledging each other's existence.
The school day ended and Miles made his way back to the dorms, sighing with relief once he glanced out the window and saw giant rainclouds rolling in over the horizon. Man, was he glad he got to bunk up on campus with his best friend! He greeted Ganke, kicked off his shoes and climbed up onto his bunkbed, laying back with a sigh. Maybe tomorrow he'd confront Hobie about his erratic behavior and apologize. Maybe.
But that was a problem for future Miles...
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Outside, the rain started falling fast and hard.
Outside, Hobie M. Jones waited miserably by the curb with an umbrella in hand, getting drenched by the water nonetheless. He checked his phone for the 15th time and sniffled angrily, pocketing it and gripping onto his umbrella handle.
Late. Again.
His mother was late to pick him up, as usual.
He swiped at a tear rolling down his cheek and finally loosened his ponytail, letting his locs fall all around his face.
Once she arrived, his mother was going to inevitably ask him how his day was, look only slightly concerned about his angry tears and ask if he made any new friends anyways, despite knowing the answer.
No, mom, Hobie would say as he kept his eyes glued to the car window.
No. I didn't make any friends.
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You know, playing through Penacony after playing through both Persona 5 and Who's Lila practically back to back is an incredibly surreal experience and makes everything hit you as hard as we hit Sunday with the Astral Express.
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journey-to-the-attic · 3 months
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3rd anni req 1: lucifer / night dagger scene
ao3 link
note: what better way to kick things off than to make lucifer so very sad! this is based on lesson 38 of the original game, during the whole three-realms-imbalance-lucifer-amnesia arc. requested by anonymous - thank you!
little bit of context: in our version, the source of the imbalance is an 'aberration', which ik is the 'host' of - owing to the weird time stuff + exposure to extremely potent foreign magic, meaning she has the exact specific constitution that allows the aberration to form
∎ ∎ ∎ ∎ ∎
“I’ve told you everything I know. Do what you think is right - I trust you.”
Solomon tells me this, presses a cold blade into my hand, and leaves. Lucifer stands in his wake and stares at me in blank silence.
Do what you think is right.
For the first time since he woke up without his memories, I’m grateful that he doesn’t remember anything. I don’t think I could have looked him in the eye if they’d held even a shred more clarity.
“How much did you hear?” I ask.
“...enough.”
Ten frozen seconds tick by without a word. Lucifer steps forward - cautiously, as if approaching a stray dog - and slips the dagger from my hand.
I watch as he balances the blade between two fingers. It looks so fragile that it might shatter at a touch. A single ray of light glances from the sharp edge, into the red of his eyes.
He doesn’t flinch. “So this is the solution.”
He’s holding the blade just out of reach - just high enough that I can’t snatch it back. I wonder if he’s doing it on purpose.
“It’s only a last resort,” I say, without really processing it. “Solomon’s clever. He’ll come up with something else. He will, he— he has to.”
Lucifer’s eyes flash down to me. Slowly, he crouches down.
“...it’s strange. There are certain things that still haven’t disappeared, even if I’ve forgotten everything else." He smiles a little. "This house - I don’t remember how we came to be here. But I know it is where we've all been together, and I know it is where I want to stay.”
He reaches up, cradling my cheek in a gloveless hand. His skin is ice-cold - but I can only lean closer, grasping for comfort where it lingers, in the way that his thumb still moves in exactly the same soothing motion.
“I don’t remember who I must have been,” He says softly. “But the feeling remains. If this is what it takes to keep you safe, so be it. If we don’t fix this quickly, you’ll all suffer for it. I cannot allow that.”
I hate that he can make it sound so easy. When he presses the dagger back into my hand, I can’t fight it.
“Just close your eyes.” He cups his hand around mine, closing my numb fingers around the handle. “It’ll be over before you know it.”
And he points the tip into his heart.
My hand trembles. He holds it steady. He won’t look me in the eye, won’t raise his head - he keeps it bowed in supplication, waiting silently for the blow.
I can’t do this.
Lucifer doesn’t know how to die. I don’t want to be the one to teach him.
Do what’s right. Do what you think is right.
Do what’s right.
Do what you think is right.
I don’t understand. This is all to restore balance - but why? Why does it have to be like this?
The dagger needs power if the aberration is to be cut out with precision. It has to be done with precision if I don’t want it to tear me apart on the way out. Once torn from its only host, it’ll disappear.
...I should’ve put two and two together. It’s not that I’m special enough to need this whole fancy scheme. This is all a work-around for just how mundane I am.
Solomon hasn’t been telling me everything. Either he’s tricked me, or he’s tricked himself - into thinking that the only solutions for this end with me alive. He watches over humanity, and that includes me - so of course he wouldn't tell me. Of course he's decided that this is the best course of action, because he thinks he knows best.
The dagger could drain the life from my weak human body in an instant - no extra fuss. With that, everything would be fixed. But he's chosen something else. And for this version of the plan, Lucifer has to die instead.
I suppose Solomon doesn’t know me as well as I thought he did. Surely he’d realise that this is worse than anything else he could have asked me to do.
Do what’s right.
Or maybe that’s why he asked me to do it. He knows what would happen if I realised I had any other choice, and it goes against his very purpose to let me do it.
In fact, he's known for a while now. He's just pretended not to, and I haven't questioned it because it's so obvious. If it did work, he'd have brought it up, right?
And that's exactly what he was banking on. Too bad I've outsmarted him at this turn.
Do what you think is right.
I’ve made up my mind.
“No.” Before Lucifer can pull away, I reach up and seize the knife with my other hand as well. “I’m not doing this.”
His expression stutters. “What—”
“This is stupid.” I try to wrest it from him, but he holds fast. “Why are we doing this? Wouldn’t it be so much easier if I just—”
His eyes widen, and he interrupts sharply, “That is not an option.”
“If I'm gone, it all ends." I can't fool him. All I can do is try to reason with him. "I can fix this. I can give you your memories back.”
“And what do you expect me to do after that?!” His voice cracks. It feels as if the sound might break him apart. “You’ll give me my memories - and what will happen when I remember who I am mourning?!”
“You’ll carry on. You always do.” I try to look him in the eyes. He refuses to look back. “If I let you die— that’s thousands of years gone, and thousands more that you won’t have anymore. I know you - you'd want those memories back."
"Your family matters more to you than anything - you'd never want to forget them." I try to offer him a smile - just as he did as he prepared to tell me to kill him. "I'm not important enough to make you give that up."
He stops struggling. His expression is hollow. “...you are lying to me.”
"I know."
Stalemate. Neither of us will back down. Neither of us will let go.
My sleeve has slipped up. There’s a pin-prick of dark blue light winking up at me - a pact he once made to protect me.
I won’t make him do it. But I have to make sure he won’t stop me.
“Lucifer. Give me the dagger.” My head is clearer than ever before. “That’s an order.”
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tunamayojazz · 1 year
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the vampire/snake au drawing! i loved toge's expression in it!
AAA THANK YOU!!! that's honestly one of my favorite inuokko aus i've worked on. it's also great practice for expressions bc toge is truly going through it in this one.
bc i miss this au so much here are some angsty, angy and despairing toges!
some very wordy context for each toge below.
caution warning for mentions of blood and violence (towards a cursed spirit)
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top left: one of the few times toge lets his guard down is when he thinks he's alone. those are also the times he allows himself to feel just how beaten down and tired by he is because of this "curse" he's struggling with. at this particular moment is when yuta confirms that something is truly wrong with toge. he'd just gotten back from a mission when he sees the boy by himself in the school gardens. he's never seen him look so lost and exhausted, and the sight is something that seriously worries yuta. toge catches yuta staring from a distance and immediately shifts his expression, giving the other a weak smile and waving as though nothing is off.
top right: this moment is mentioned in the first post i made about this au, when yuta tries probing into toge's unspoken struggles (bc he knows something is wrong, and it's killing him to feel this helpless).
"a few more unusual things happen that yuta simply cannot keep quiet about, so he tries his luck finding out from toge himself, and is surprised when on his 5th or so try, toge snaps, and yuta swears tht he saw toge's irises turn into slits for a millisecond and the air around them getting slightly heavier. but together with toge's anger, it vanishes in a flash. toge calms himself and simply signs that "people change". yuta frowns like a kicked puppy."
i would honestly change the tone to something a little more serious: yuta doesn't frown like a kicked puppy, he feels his heart drop to his stomach and is lost for words. toge leaves without saying anything else, leaving yuta to sit in silence, confusion and hurt.
just what had happened in the time he was gone?
bottom: the moment of a horrifying realization. after barely two weeks of experiencing odd changes to himself (heightened senses, bursts of anger, intense dislike to heat, an unquenchable thirst for something he can't quite name), the true extent of this new feeling reveals itself during a solo mission.
it's a tricky cursed spirit to beat and toge feels himself get increasingly aggravated the more the curse tries to play with him. at one point, he snaps. when he shouts "don't move", it doesn't wear off even after the usual duration of the cursed command passes. ruthlessly, he takes his time and tears into the curse with his bare hands, sharp nails digging into whatever he can grip onto and ripping and ripping until there's nothing left. he hadn't even realize he'd been muttering throughout it either, words like "die, just die" contributing to the cursed spirit's violent demise. it takes several moments of silence to take it all in, and it terrifies him when he does.
one: something is happening to him, something deeply twisted and wrong.
two: no one can know.
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thexvthmember · 9 months
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“It’s all an Illusion”
“I look forward to hearing what ‘family’ means to him.”
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🕸️🕸️🕸️
🕷️🕷️🕷️
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ardenrabbit · 4 months
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good-beanswrites · 6 months
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🎬: About Es being a past prisoner and the secret 11th prisoner in your AU. But advance apologies if I'm overstepping into your AU!
I had this idea from a story that pretty much did the same thing. Going off there are novels/manga on Milgram and there being another Es and their own prisoners running another Milgram (but differently) I imagine this Milgram projects has been going on for a while, and our Es was from a previous project who might have gotten the worst verdict (or the most spared out of everyone), and was given this final task as a warden for the next group of prisoners. This is why they so readily agreed and had their memories wiped for this Milgram project instead of being weary on a shady project on judging an almost crime, they've already been through this.
(BTW is it bad and worrying for one of our ten fav prisoners to be the next Es if this is legit...)
Anyway, that's why Es is in Milgram in your AU, I guess? And the lore drop that Kotoko picks up on them being the 11th prisoner, I can imagine her also talking to Kazui since he's a policeman to see if she could cross out any theories on who Es is (Did they look familiar. Possible missing child. Any cases to do with an almost crime by a child other than the 10 of them here). Kazui knows Kotoko wants to investigate, but reminds her that, like in their prison while the trial is on, the facilities they're in have high security too. They do have the freedom to move about, but still limited.
If they're trying to investigate Es, maybe Fuuta, Kotoko and Mikoto can try to do the hacking on the comp Mikoto's allowed to use to Photoshop some shots for the MVs and photos (Fuuta and Kotoko seem to be able to search up info they need I think...). Yuno, Mahiru and Muu can work on charming the staff to see if they can spill more deets on Milgram. Not sure how much the group can gather, but oh boy fun times in Milgram can turn into another sort of stress in this AU...
No worries!! Like I said before, this whole au has been a fun collaborative project, so there's no overstepping :) I am sorry I won't be writing a lot on the ending until we get more info, but that's just the perfectionist in me who doesn't want to be proven wrong 😅 Still, I love tossing around and digging into ending scenarios, I really love this!
Because that would make a lot of sense why they're so willing to subject themself to the whole experiment! They remember how tough their experience was, and are confident they can care for the new set of prisoners while doing their job. I'm imagining they get the opportunity to return as guard, and get to have a nice talk with their own guard first. Once they fully understand what it's like, they're know they can handle it and sign up. It adds a bit of drama, too, since they must have been really young committing their crime in order to complete a years-long experiment prior to this one. They would have been like 10? Oof. (Now I wanna see their three trial songs 👀)
And like you said, that also brings up the question of the new warden. Though I think it's based on verdict results, I can just picture Jackalope keeping an eye on everyone during filming. He studyies their interactions and personalities, keeping his own set of notes on who would make a good successor. (I'm not going to go through every character but there are pros to any choice, it's very fun picturing them all taking the job.) Haha, on the other hand, maybe the reason Kotoko keeps bringing up her role as Es' partner/bringer of justice is because she did discover the truth. She drops as many hints as possible so she can be chosen next 😅
Ooh, I love her working with Kazui on an investigation! The fact that eh may know details on recent crimes (and almost-crimes) is super fun to work with. He's the last person who's going to spill a secret, so the group could go several trials without realizing Kazui had actually heard all about their situation this whole time.
(Getting sidetrack for a sec, I'm suddenly realizing that he and Kotoko may have heard things about the crimes in canon, too. They're a bit unclear about how much time passed between the murders and arriving to Milgram, so maybe he heard some things. I don't know how well-connected Tokyo police departments are, but Yuno, Fuuta, Muu, and Shidou are all nearby. There's definitely a chance he caught word of the vigilante nearby, and she heard about the odd policeman's suicide. Both of them could have heard about the tragic housefire, the disgraced doctor, or horrible schoolgirl murder nearby.)
Anyway, I like that idea of Kazui wracking his brain for any similar cases. Though, if he had, Milgram may have had the foresight to wipe parts of his memory, too. Maybe he does end up using his call to reach out to Hinako and have her look into it from the outside. Sadly, Kotoko seems the type to sacrifice her personal call to reach out to a connection who can help as well. I'll have to think about how closely Jackalope monitors those calls, hm.
I'm going crazy over prisoner investigation team !! Kotoko and Fuuta had the online knowledge to find some good info, and Mikoto and Kazui seem like they'd have a huge network of people they can ask for info and favors from. Haha, I'm torn whether Mahiru would have flirting down to a science or if she'd refuse to do it since it wasn't real love 😂 Still, she's very good at reading people and could definitely help the others charm and bribe their way into some restricted areas. Amane and Haruka can also charm with their innocence/cuteness (though I'm not sure Amane would). Shidou seems very organized, he'd have a plan and backup plan and backup-backup plan ready, no matter what happens. I think it's even funnier, then if Milgram had run several experiments prior. Jackalope would think this was just another runthrough, and for the first time the ten subjects decided to organize together and Cause Problems.
I think there's a beautiful irony in a story featuring ten prisoners planning a jailbreak to save the prison guard...
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revasserium · 11 months
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狐と蛍の物語 (the story of the fox and the firefly)
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harrison; 4,064 words; fluff and angst a/n: for @violettduchess and @aquagirl1978's summer days, sultry nights event -- prompt "fireflies" (obviously); i'm also gonna say this counts for my 31 days of au prompt -- reincarnation!au; inspired by hotarubi no mori e and catheryn m valente's deathless and honestly, i'm so proud and happy with this one that i'd encourage you to read it even if you have no idea of the fandom/character. u__u i would love, love, love to know what you guys think!
once upon a time, a long, long time ago, there lived a girl who only danced to the firefly’s light and a fox who could tell nothing but lies.
01.
for as long as you can remember, there’s always been the wood. and it has always been behind your house, it’s leaves and branches foreboding in the winter wind, and somehow less so in the simmer of mid-summer afternoons, when the sunlight dappled light across the soft, forest floor. it isn’t a very large wood, but it’s a wood nevertheless, and deserves all the respect and fear afforded to bigger woods in faraway places. woods that warn of teeth and terrors, woods that hide both dreams and monsters.
you’d been wandering the wood from when you were a little girl, and to you, there’s not a single rock you don’t know, a single tree you haven’t tried to climb. and the forest knows you, as forests do the people who frequent them, and it welcomes you with open arms, it cradles you to its chest, whispers stories into your ears, carves itself open to show you it’s secrets —
“you’re late.”
you crinkle your nose at the familiar voice, letting out a huffing breath as you drop your picnic basket in the middle of the small, sun-lit clearing, taking your time with laying out the checked picnic blanket and two cups and saucers for tea, and finally, pulling out a tray of confections, covered by a thin, linen baking towel.
“no, i’m not! you just want me to think i am so i’ll give you more than half of the sweets.”
a boy settles over the picnic blanket, cocking his head at you before you narrow your eyes.
“well? isn’t that true?”
“ahh… i wonder if it is…” he says, but you can hear the grin in his voice, even through the material of his fox-faced mask, which, after a few more seconds of posturing, he pushes up onto his forehead. he shakes out his milk-tea hair and slates you a poison-ivy grin. you know that grin like you know the woods— and you know the woods like you know the backs of your own hands. better, even, you think sometimes.
because for as long as there’s been the woods, and as long as you have wandered it’s depths, the boy with the fox-faced mask has always been there.
“there were fresh strawberries at farmer’s market today,” you say, setting up the tea service as you nudge the opened picnic basket towards the boy with a foot. he peers in with wide, curious eyes before letting out a soft noise of contentment as he reaches in to pull out a slice of freshly baked strawberry cream cake.
“your grandmama makes the best pastries in the world,” he says, and there’s such sincerity in his voice that for a moment, you almost believe him.
but you nod and take the compliment in stride, “she sure does!”
he digs in with gusto even when you tut that the tea hasn’t steeped properly, but you laugh as he smears a large dollop of whipped cream across his cheeks. you point it out to him with a dainty finger, and as always, you fight the urge to reach over and wipe it off for him. instead, you hold yourself still and sigh as he finally gets to it, smudging a bit into his hair in the process.
“clumsy fox,” you giggle, pressing a hand up to your lips.
“picky girl,” he snipes back, but there’s that full, sated grin on his own lips as he leans back, his elbows propped up on the soft grasses of the clearing.
after a moment of pleasant silence during which the leaves sang on their trees and the grasses swayed beneath the breeze, the boy turns towards you.
“so. no dancing today?”
you turn your head towards him before casting your eyes up towards the still bright blue sky.
“you know it’s not time yet.”
the boy heaves a melodramatic sigh, sound much bigger and larger than his 14-year old body should be able to hold.
“ah… right, right — because you can —”
“— only dance by the fireflies’ light — yep!”
the boy regards you with an imperious sort of look before breaking into a fit of bright, open laughter.
“you’re the strangest girl i’ve ever met!”
“just you saying that tells me it’s not true,” you stick out your tongue at him, even as heat washes up into your cheeks.
the boy shrugs, lying back down on the picnic basket, “i don’t always have to lie, y’know.”
and it’s your turn to regard him with the imperious look, and, a the cock of a singular eyebrow, his lips tug into a lopsided grin. his eyes flash, the color of budding spring.
“liar,” you say, but you’re smiling too as you lie back down to watch the clouds pass.
he makes no sound to correct you.
02.
once, you’d asked him what his name is and he simply shook his head and said —
“call me whatever you’d like.”
“but i want to call you by your name.”
“what’s in a name anyway?”
“uhm… nothing’s in it but…” you’d frowned then, your eight year old mind spinning to try and catch up with this strange, strange question and this strange, strange boy.
“see? so why should it matter what my name is? just… call me whatever!”
but you’d only frowned hard enough for him to roll his eyes.
“fine then — uhm — what’s the name of the current prince?”
you’d blinked, “harry.”
“then call me that.”
“but is that your name?”
“well, now it is.”
you hadn’t been convinced but you liked it better than not calling him anything at all.
“harry, then,” you’d said, smiling. and the boy — harry — had smiled too, slipping his fox-faced mask back in place as he led you further into the forest.
03.
“y’know…” harry says, his voice light as the sun dips beneath the horizon line, leaving behind a blaze of reds and pinks. you turn your head, eyes catching on the shape of him, inked out against the dying light.
“you’re the only person i’ve ever met who’s wanted to be cursed.”
you take a long breath and turn your eyes back up to the bleeding sky.
“well. you’re cursed, and you seem just fine to me,” you try to keep your voice strong, resolute and steady. grandmama had always said that if you keep your voice strong, people are more willing to believe your words. you wonder if that’s why harry’s voice is always soft, always lilting, his words slippery as moss-covered stone.
“yeah, but you can’t even touch me,” he says, and for once, his voice is harsh, his words sharp and hard as broken glass.
“that’s okay though — once i get my own curse, i’ll be able to touch you, right?”
harry fights back the urge to turn, to take you by the shoulders and shake you till you push him away. he wants to scream, to howl at the moon like the mother wolves and the hungry cubs that live in the heart of the wood. he wants to run through the woods, crash into things, climb up the trees and shake off all their branching leaves.
but he can’t, and so he doesn’t.
instead, he turns to look at you and look at you and look at you.
he wonders if it’s a strange thing, to like looking at someone so much, to find something new about a face every single time it’s looked upon — the wisps of hair fallen loose to frame your face from the velvet ribbons holding it back, the curve of your button nose, the dip of your cupid’s bow. he wonders if this is a normal thing, the thick weight of it in this chest, the truth of his curse sitting heavy on his tongue.
“yeah… probably,” he says — and the lie is smooth as milk, sweet as just-spun sugar.
“good. then we won’t have long to wait, hm?”
04.
there’s a story, so you’ve been told, of a fox that lives in the woods — and the fox can tell nothing but lies, lest the truth cut open it’s throat. and when it bleeds, because even monsters bleed (oh especially monsters), it will bleed in blue and silver, which everyone knows is the color of magic.
“but why would telling the truth kill it?” you’d asked, your eyes wide and round as the full-bellied moon.
your grandmama had sighed, rocking you in her lap as the forest outside shivers and shakes with the steps and breaths of creatures unseen.
“that’s what curses do, my sweetest… they’re unfair things, they are. and they don’t like to make a lot of sense.”
and that had been that. she’d moved onto a nicer story, a sweeter story, a story that was not so much truth and mostly lies — because the truth, as your grandmama had said, is sharp and unfair and makes so very little sense.
lies are much, much the better for the makings of stories.
05.
he has never complimented you on your dancing, not even once — not in all the years you’ve been dancing for him, by the light of a million and one fireflies.
you’d been eight when you made the promise, it’s been ten years since then.
and at eighteen, you wonder how many more years it’ll be before the moon or the forest or whatever it is that chooses people to curse will take pity on you.
it’s just after sunset, and you’d just finished your customary sunday afternoon picnic. harry is sprawled out on the picnic blanket, his fox-faced mask lying in the soft, long grasses, an arm thrown over his eyes. you wonder if he’s asleep, though you don’t think you’ve ever seen him fall asleep, not in all the time you’ve known him.
“music, please…” you announce to the clearing, and after a long pause, as if the forest itself is coming to life, the wind picks up — the leaves rustle on their branches, the birds sweep up into a twitter wingbeats and song, the grasses around the clearing hish and hush the thrumming baseline to a music that only you and harry and the forest can hear.
slowly, harry pushes himself up, making a show of rubbing his eyes, and in the darkness you can only see the shape of him.
you don’t see the prickle of tears at the edge of his eyes as he wipes them away.
instead, you close your own eyes and wait.
and wait.
and then — at the first flicker of a firefly’s light, you lift your hands and start to dance.
06.
once, you’d asked him how he’d gotten cursed in the first place.
“it’s a long story,” he’d said.
“i’ve got a long time,” you countered.
he’d crinkled his nose, pursing his lips as the pair of you hopped over a narrow stream, him watching as you teetered on the edge of the water.
“hm… well, if you do something a ton of times in the wood… the wood decides that that’s all your good for, and it becomes your curse!”
you’d blinked up at him from over your shoulder, a soft smear of mud on your cheeks.
“oh… it’s that easy?”
“easy?”
“i mean, to get a curse.”
he’d narrowed his eyes, “why would you want a curse?”
you’d straightened up, pressing your palms down your rather sullied dress.
“because — you said that i can’t touch you cause i’m human, right?”
“uh-huh…” harry had nodded, uncertain of where your child-logic had taken you.
“but other cursed things can touch you, right? like the wolves and the shadows and the queen of ravens.”
harry bit his lips. but you seemed to have taken his silence for consent and happily skipped off further into the forest. he’d never corrected you even as he heaved another world-weary sigh and followed after you. because technically, you hadn’t been totally wrong.
and his curse was only that he couldn’t correct you.
07.
your mind wanders as you begin to dance, and these days, it’s been doing a lot of that — wandering. so your grandmama says that it’s a part of growing up — learning when to let your mind wander and when to reign it back in, hold it on a tighter leash and tell it to wander no more. it’s a blessing to be able to let your mind wander, and so you do.
it’s just that these days, you can’t help but notice that it’s less of wandering and more of… well, a straight-shot descent to a well-known destination. and you know from a whole childhood of actual wandering that if you know the way and you know what you’ll find at the end, then it’s not wandering at all.
it’s just going.
but still, you let your mind go where it wants, and lately, it’s been going and going and going... to harry.
harry and his soul-soft laughter, harry and his knife-edge smiles, harry and his loose, lethargic movements, unhurried and always so certain. back when you were both still children, he’d led you through the forest with nothing but his voice, spouting out random facts that were much too outlandish to be true, and later, when you were both a bit older (and you’d long since memorized every bit of forest there was to memorize), he’d walk alongside you in companionable silence.
you knew his favorite trees, his favorite flowers, his favorite birds and colors, his favorite season, his favorite sweet, his favorite fruit and so many others.
and still, it feels as if you don’t know him at all, even though you’re certain he knows everything there is to know about you.
except…
you spin out on the long grasses, the light of a million and one fireflies dancing across your skin, dancing with you, singing with you as the forest does. and above you, a crescent moon cuts a sinister smile into a lonely, starless night.
years later, you’d wonder if the night had known — if the wood had known (of course, of course it had known, because there are no secrets the woods do not know, no secrets the waning moon doesn’t keep from the sleeping earth), if the entire world had conspired against you and for you that night.
when you finish dancing and the last of the fireflies flicker down to rest on the long, soft grasses, you’re breathless with exertion, luminous with exaltation and drunk on the song of the forest and a million and one lightless stars.
in the middle of the clearing, harry is smiling, you can see it even from here, and for the first time since you’d danced for him the very first time, he brings his hands together and claps.
“that was… beautiful,” he says, and his voice is deeper now, supple and sweet with the night air.
“th-thanks! phew — i really think that might do it,” you say, plopping down on the picnic blanket next to him, spreading wide your arms and staring up at the velveteen sky above you.
08.
once, you’d been told another story, though you don’t quite recall who you’d heard it from. maybe your grandmama, and maybe the old man who sits in the village square after all the longest days of the year, smoking his pipe and telling his stories.
“do you know why the cursed forest creatures can’t touch humans?”
“why?” a village boy had asked before you had the chance to.
“because… if a cursed creature touches human flesh, the cursed creature will die.”
“oh…” you said, clutching your hands to your chest, and you’d never really thought about dying. because really, what ten year old in their right mind would? but you knew of the concept from when grandmama talked about grandpapa — how he was there one day and then the next day he just… wasn’t.
“he died in his sleep,” she’d said, a tone of sadness in her voice that you’d never heard there before and wished you’d never have to hear again, “it was the best way to go.”
you’d wondered then if there’s really such thing as a “best” way to go. wouldn't the “best” thing to be not going at all?
“then… do the cursed creatures get to live forever?” you asked, before the village boy could cut in.
the old man took a long sip from his pipe and blew out a few concentric rings of smokes before coughing and waving it all away.
“no… you see, if the cursed creatures get to pass on their curses, they’d get to be reincarnated into being a human once more.”
09.
“do you… really want to be cursed?” harry asks as the pair of you share in the silence after your dance.
you suck in a long breath before pushing yourself up to sit in front of him, careful to keep your knees from bumping his.
“of course i do! it’s… it’s what i’ve been trying to do since i was like — eight!”
“but… why?” and harry’s voice is small, smaller than you’ve ever heard it, even though now, his eighteen year old body should carry a much heavier, harder sound.
“because,” you say, resolute as you’d always been, “once i’m cursed, i’ll be able to touch you.”
“and why… is that so important to you?”
harry casts his eyes towards you; you catch his gaze with yours, holding it steady. and in that moment, you mind lets go of the story that the old man told you. because it was a long time ago, and the story was so, so far away. and sometimes, the mind chooses which truths it wants to listen to, which truths it wants to believe in.
sometimes, it chooses truths that don’t look like truths from the outside in, but from the inside out — they’re the truest things to ever be true.
like this one —
“because i want to touch you. because… it’s what i’ve wanted since i was a little girl. because… sometimes, i think i want to do more than touch you — sometimes —” your voice catches on a hitched breath, lost somewhere in your chest, somewhere between your heart and your throat.
but then, darkness descends over your vision and it takes you a long moment to realize that you’re staring at the inside of a mask, thin but solid — the fox-faced mask that harry always wears.
and then pressure, and warmth, right where the fox’s dagger-carved grin usually is, so close to your own lips you can feel the heat.
it holds for a long, long moment, and then it’s gone.
the light returns as harry tugs the mask from you, grinning that teasing, lopsided grin of his, though there’s something about it tonight that makes your heart seize.
“tell me, one more time…” he says, and his voice is jagged with something that sounds painful and true and so, so terrible.
“i — i want the curse…” you say, before you really realize what you’re saying, and it takes you a moment to realize that this too, is the truth.
“okay then… it’s yours.”
and he leans in to press his lips to yours.
the truth, harry realizes, is always bitter, and harsh, and much too sharp. when he pulls back, he presses his palms to yours and lets the moon wash the clearing in blue and silver. you gasp as you feel the magic creeping into your bones, tugging you under, dragging you through the cracks in the world even as harry is tugged away from you back to the world of the living.
“w-was this all a lie?” you ask, because inside you, your heart is fighting for it’s last few beats.
“no,” harry says, his voice is pained, and his expression even more so, because every truth he tells cuts him a little deeper, and he feels his throat constrict over the words, “your dance really was beautiful… and…”
he swallows hard, feeling the knife-edge of this one final truth slicing through him, sharp as moonlight, sweet as the lightless stars.
“i love you. please… don’t forget me.”
and already, you can feel the truth starting to hurt, starting to constrict inside you like a curse. but still, you force it from you as harry flickers and fades along with the light of a million and one firefly lights.
“i — i won’t.”
10.
“but how exactly do you transfer a curse?” the village boy asked, his voice loud and jarring.
the old man takes another long sip of his pipe, puffs out a few more smoke rings.
“through a kiss,” he said.
you blinked. a kiss?
“ew!” the village boy recoiled then, shrinking back from the thought of kissing — because that’s what children are taught to do at such grown-up concepts as kissing.
you, on the other hand, you stayed right where you are, but a frown has creased your tiny, child-like brow.
“and the trick,” the old man continues, his smile going wide and a little lascivious, “is getting someone who will take their curse willingly… to accept the kiss.”
01.
for as long as harry can remember, there has always been the wood. and in the wood, there’s always been a girl with a fox-painted mask who danced to the light of the fireflies.
once, when he’d gone exploring (even though his grandpapa had warned him time and time again about going into the wood by himself), he’d nearly run into her and she’d cocked her head when he’d fallen face-first near the bank of a tiny stream, smearing mud across his cheeks.
“you’re strange little boy,” the girl said — and she could be no more than his age, harry thinks.
“and you’re a weird little girl,” he counters, his eyes catching on the bright red of the fox’s painted mouth.
there is magic at work here, harry knows, though he doesn’t know what kind, and all he really wants is to explore the woods behind his house, to know all there is to know of the world, and perhaps — he thinks as you turn and make your way deeper into the forest — to one day hold the hand of the girl with the fox-faced mask.
but that’s a wish for another day, he decides as he follows after you, jogging to catch up and ask for your name.
“ah… what’s in name,” you say, you voice light and languid, even as he frowns, “you can call me whatever you like.”
02.
once, harry had asked his grandpapa what the truest feeling in the whole wide world is.
and his grandpapa had answered —
“that, harry, would be falling in love…”
“falling in love?”
“yes, my dear boy — and the thing about love is that it’s like a curse… but it’s also like a blessing.”
“but… how can a thing be a curse and a blessing?”
then, his grandpapa had smiled, a smile that is starlight and wolfsong and all the secrets the forest ever has to tell.
“because we are doomed to always, always fall in love, my boy — and it will always, always be like handing someone and knife and asking them to cut open your throat.”
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