#and also having a personality disorder

[swanmaids]

Beleg is literally the bad bitch Túrin pulled by being autistic

#and also having a personality disorder #my post #turleg #tcoh

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[chaos-in-one]

Friendly (or unfriendly if you're against this) reminder that this blog is supportive of ALL disorders. This blog does not think ANY disorder inherently makes someone a bad person, and is against any disorder being demonized. This blog wholeheartedly believes that a bad person having a disorder, yes, even if things that are also symptoms of their disorder are part of what caused harm, does not make the disorder a "bad" or "evil" disorder or excuse ableism and demonization directed towards the disorder.

Yes this includes personality disorders

Including npd and aspd

Yes this includes all psychotic disorders & disorders that cause psychotic symptoms

Yes this includes paraphilic disorders. All of them.

Yes this includes disorders that cause, or are even characterized by, attention seeking

Yes this includes disorders that directly have lying as a common symptom

Yes this includes dissociative disorders

Yes this includes any disorder with "gross" symptoms

Yes this includes physical disorders too

Yes this includes disorders that can cause loss of control of any kind- control of speech, control of body movement, etc.

Yes tis includes disorders that make someone "look scary"

This goes for literally any fucking disorder. There are not exceptions.

#disability activism #ableism #demonization #disability awareness #personality disorders #npd #aspd #psychotic #psychotic disorders #paraphilic disorder #attention seeking #pathological lying #dissociative disorder #idk what other tags to put #also additional note I literally have a couple disorders on this list #and symptoms of several too #so if you're thinking of trying to argue on this post just fuck off #I guarantee you will not change my mind #and I don't want to hear it either

[heartless-aro]

Being aromantic doesn’t make me evil and unfeeling. I’m evil and unfeeling for completely different reasons

#aro #aromantic #aro humor #this is about being personality disordered but it is also about every single time i have had to wake up a sleeping cat so i could move

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

neurotypical people will be like "yeah loud noises bother me too" and meanwhile i once had to sit in a closet clutching a pillow sob-rocking for 2.5 hours because a fire alarm went off for a few seconds

#this is an extreme example but it says something i think #actuallyautistic #yes many of the sensory issues that bother me are also mildly annoying to other people #the issue is that's what a mild annoyance to you is a cause of pain and extreme distress to me #it's a medical issue that can disrupt my entire day and ability to function--at which point i get told i'm 'overreacting' #and listen that is not how sensory processing disorder works #it's not ME overreacting it's my sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems malfunctioning on a biological level #and buddy you are WELCOME to try arguing with them but i personally have spent years not getting results from that #they are Stubborn and they do not give a Damn what you have to say

[3raccoonstryingtorobabank]

new cooking show where the judge panel is a bunch of neurodivergent people with the same ick food and the chefs are challenged with finding a way to prepare it that the most amount of judges like

bonus points if the winning recipes are put online somewhere

#Like everyone in the judge panel is united by their dislike of shrimp #And then like a dozen chefs try to make shrimp in a way some of them will like #I personally hate the texture of mashed potatoes so it would be interesting to see if there are any ways I could tolerate it #And I have a friend who cannot stand any form of potato but mashed #Both of us on the same panel and some poor chef has to find a way to prepare a potato that is not mashed but also mashed #Schrödingers potato #neurospicy #neurodivergent #neurodiverse stuff #neurodiversity #autism memes #autism spectrum disorder #autism #autism spectrum #actually autistic #actually neurodiverse

[medicalunprofessional]

#psychonauts #gristol malik #theodore malik #<-Yeah. Hes there #psychonauts 2 spoiler #nightmaretheater #time on canvas: 8 hours #also YES this is psychonauts fanart. I prommy. Iii prommy. its gristol when he was younger #rips my hair out rips my eyes out #Hi Ugly. Points at him #travel back in time and take him away from his parents Okay #you will get my message #as much as i hate him i feel he must be understood at some level. #im not saying we should excuse or forgive him. No. We need to understand why he turned out like that #(its his parents (he only knows propaganda)) #i have so much to say on the topic . i have been consumed by thoughts of him #kind of upsetting how the one guy with a cluster b personality disorder gets No Understanding in the Understanding Mentally Ill People game #<-once again. Not excusing his actions #also yeah sorry i had to unleash the rendering demons oops

[systememergency]

Every time I find myself wanting to tell someone close to me I have DID I always get caught up on the fact that the majority of people don't experience this and wouldn't understand it intrinsically. It makes me feel like there's a huge communication barrier that I can't truly encapsulate, because the concept that people don't have alters is hard for me to understand. The fact people don't function in life like this and wouldn't get it how I get it makes me so hesitant to tell people what's going on. It feels so natural for me that it's actively difficult to explain. It would be like trying to explain breathing to someone who doesn't breathe

#My sense of identity has always been *massively* fractured #As a kid I would cry in frustration bc I couldn't act like a consistent person and was convinced I was possessed #The fact most other people just... don't go through that? Strange & unusual #I also get hung up on the fact that ik the vast majority of ppl do not give a shit and do not go out of their way to research stuff #So the burden would definitely be on me and what do I look like? Someone good at explaining things? Lol no #Tempted to just say Hey I have DID and if you wanna know what that means you're gonna have to research it yourself lol #actually did #did #osddid #did system #complex dissociative disorder #did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #system things

[anti-transphobia]

Random reminder that I HATE Plushie Dreadful!! Those mental illness/disabilities plushes? Typically rabbits? There's been a lot of criticism over them about ableism in the past. Personal feelings about disorders being marketed, formerly partnering with Autism Speaks, etc. But one thing people don't seem to notice is the ableism towards schizophrenics, narcissists, and antisocials! This site with a bunch of beautifly designed rabbit stuffed animals decided to make the schizophrenic and antisocial plushes noticably creepier than most others. The antisocial one at the very least came out cuter than the concept art. But the schizophrenic one is openly based on serial killers. And NPD? The official Twitter account made a poll about what the design should be, made degrading comments about narcissists, and liked comments by people making fun of narcissists. In the end, in order to not make the npd plush TOO special or unique looking, made it a plain brown rabbit with a paper crown (openly saying it's because pwnpd aren't actually special or deserving of a real one). When contacted by pwnpd with criticism/feedback, like they say they accept, they ignored it

Ableism towards disorders people find "scary" or "bad" is still ableism!!! It's still shitty!!!

#plushie dreadfuls #npd #aspd #schizospec #also this isn't about personal preference to be clear #like no matter how an individual feels about a disorder they have being marketed. some people fairly dislike it other people fairly like it #and obviously people with the disorders i listed could like the designs #but this is about acknowledging how it's fucked up they did that in the first place #like. you can personally like something and connect to it even though the context is bad. ive connected to ableist media before #because in the ableism they accidentally captured an experience that resonated with me even if it wasnt meant to #but that doesn't mean i don't know it's bigoted and fucked up

[canisalbus]

Your art tastes like aged paper, sugar, and chocolate to me, with a hint of salt every so often

Machete looks like white chocolate, and Vasco's like buttery caramel

.

#aw #that sounds nice #anonymous #answered #I was wondering what the aged paper is doing there but it reminded me of something #so I'm going to share a weird personal detail totally unprompted #I think I used to have pica disorder when I was a kid I would gnaw on and eat a lot of small inedible objects #pieces of cardboard rubber bands and blu tack #the plastic animal figurines I had had bitemarks on them and were often missing bodyparts like if a dog had gotten to them #also a ton of uncooked pasta #I think it wasn't a flavor thing I had obsessions for specific textures that weren't found in actual foods #I particularly craved those candy wrappers that are made of waxed paper #(finns might be familiar with pihlaja or marianne wrappers for example or those translucent inner wrappers in lehmäkarkki/ cow cream fudge) #can't say for sure when it stopped but one day I realized that hey hold on this probably isn't normal human behavior #I think I was over 10 but under 15 #and I had forgotten the whole thing but got such a vivid flashback from that line it was actually kind of alarming

[avpdpossum]

avoidance is so weird because it’s so temptingly easy to pretend it’s not there when it’s not at its absolute worst.

when i’m at my lowest, my avoidance becomes volatile and dangerous — it means almost daily mental breakdowns, it means probably wanting to hurt myself or worse, it’s means things are bad bad. but times like now? where i’m in a better place and i don’t have to interact with people often enough to trigger it too badly? it’s easy to pretend i’m fine.

and that’s not because i don’t have symptoms — there’s a big glaring reason i don’t have a job yet, that i stay in the house pretty much every day and (aside from the family i live with) only ever see my safe person, that there’s a million important doctor calls i haven’t made yet, that i have my name change papers all ready to go but haven’t changed any of my documents yet. the avoidance is obviously still there and still causing problems, and i know my life doesn’t look how it should.

but because it’s not destroying my default mental state right now, it feels like i’m lying to myself and i’m totally mentally healthy and i have nothing to worry about. and when i see my therapist, the way i describe things sounds like there’s nothing going wrong in my life because there’s no active bad shit, just a lot of things that aren’t happening. and how do you quantify the absence of something?

how do i explain that the problem isn’t that i’m unhappy, it’s not that there’s bad things to fix, it’s just that most of the time, there’s nothing at all? that i’m mostly happy because i don’t have much of a life right now, and if i were to get my life to a better place from a practical standpoint i would almost definitely be thrown back into a worse mental state?

i’m trying to find a balance that allows me to have a decent life and decent mental health, but god, it’s hard to do when it would be so much easier and less exhausting to just stay stagnant forever and hold onto the relative peace that comes with that.

#tbh the only thing stopping me from staying like this forever #is 1) i hate not having money to get little serotonin trinkets with and 2) i Cannot keep living with my parents long term #also yes hello im not dead and neither is this blog #poss.speaks #avpd #actually avpd #actually avoidant #avoidant pd #avoidant personality disorder #cluster c

[hpdfag]

i might be doing really terrible on the emotional regulation front but in my defense ive had a gaping hole in my chest since i was 12

#... servant's screams ♪ #real uncomfortable knowing you fucked up but also knowing you could not have done any better with the tools you were given #actually bpd #actually cluster b #cluster b #bpd #borderline personality disorder #bpd vent #bpd thoughts #bpd safe

[ebonytails]

Hey everyone! this is where the zebra is currently with the design.

It has knee braces!! I will most probably be drawing the zebra usually with them on, but it’s no requirement, for example if anyone else wants to draw the zebra :-]. I always like to make sure an animal design has official colors underneath any clothing and accessory anyway. I think this will be final! thank you everyone for your feedback!

As a reminder, aside from why the zebra was requested for this flag, this is also just a zebra with the disability pride flag on it. It’s just a deisgn to fit the flag, with input from other disabled people in our community. It doesn’t mean other animals can’t have designs with these colors, too! I don’t mean this design to be the only mascot for all disabled people. It’s just a silly series i do of pride animals, and at the time, during disability pride month, I wanted to see what everyone wanted me to start off with for this flag!

the goal with my pride animals is to take requests and make people feel happy and seen.. that’s all <:-)

#disability pride #pride animals #disability #disability pride flag #zebras #I’ve been a little stressed about this animal for the past week.. I will be honest with you #The zebra has many stripes and I wanted to try my best to make sure it wouldn’t cause issues like headaches or other things #also.. if]ve been working on this for a while now.. i want to call it done soon! #But now that this is finished #I will start designing stickers and pins to put on redbubble and also for me to print IRL! #thank you everyone! I’ve also learned more than whatbI already knew this week #Even if it was stressful it was fun to see everyone get so excited when I would show updates to the designs #Sorry for a long speech.. I am a very nervous person today #Excuse my typos! I’m a fast typer and tired from the day #ebonytailsart #Thank you yomcloud for giving me your feedback as well. I don’t have a lot of perspective on visual processing disorders and photensitivity #so it meant a lot to me #just like the other pride animals I am very open to making more animal designs for this flag! But I’d like to save it for the future instea #It’s a bit too soon at the moment. thank youuu

[purplebunny222]

haha what do u mean that’s not normal

#actually bpd #bpd memes #borderline personality problems #actually borderline #i hate having an fp but also hate not having one #borderline personality disorder #bpd mood #bpd fp

[nashvillethotchicken]

Ldpdl is not a perfect character or person by any means; he's judgemental, he pimps out women, he's selfish and self centered, he don't listen, he's neglectful in his relationships, and he LOVE white peen. However some white people talk about this man like he killed Jesus with a blunt spoon and ion think that's right

#louis de pointe du lac #interview with the vampire #iwtv #amc iwtv #ldpdl #ldpdl is many things. he stand on business. hes a pretty good dancer. #i feel like in their rush to valorize whiteness in whatevr way they can white fans turn louis into the literal devil or the dumbest person- #on God's good green and blue earth #like yeah louis is judgemental but hes also loving and thoughtful and he can suck a dent out a car door so leave him be #niggas cant have no disorders round yall yall strict as hell

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

klaus hargreeves hearing three (3) symptoms of a disorder from a child that he just met and coming to the conclusion that he definitely has it is a mentally ill mood

#klaus does not have odd #me and my psych degree and crisis counselor certification were sitting there like #hmmmmm #also not me listing credentials as if anyone cares #i can dream <3 #don’t get me wrong he has a shit ton of other stuff #he just really doesn’t fit the criterion for odd #like dsm 5 & textbook criterion #not him #adhd ptsd depression all that shit #substance abuse disorders obviously #addictive personality s*icidal ideation risky behaviour lack of impulse control self destructive tendencies opposition behaviour you name i #t #am a little scared of misinformation being spread about odd tbh #klaus hargreeves #it is a mood to just vaguely hear symptoms of something and be like “yes that is me #barnum effect babey #yeet my deet #tua s3 spoilers #the umbrella academy