#and anakin goes quiet and is like 'i used to want to be an engineer did you know that?' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-writing-mill · 3 years

Note

assassin au with the "making a deal to save the other" and jangobi?

Okay, this one’s actually even a bit longer than the other one, so it’s going under a read more lol

Jango is a merc/bounty hunter/assassin guy, Obi-Wan is an information broker with an editing cover job and a “rental property” to embezzle money

These two have never met, and have no idea about each other’s identities beyond knowing their underground reputations, until Jango is hired to assassinate Obi-Wan’s little brother, Anakin

Obi-Wan is visiting Anakin for the weekend on the day of the planned assassination, and notices things are a little off, setting off all of his learned criminal world/underground alarms

(Anakin, btw, is a part time mechanic, part time engineering student. Obi-Wan has very carefully kept the boy out of his world since becoming Anakin’s official guardian after their adoptive father, Qui-Gon Jinn, died in an accident)

Obi-Wan gets paranoid enough after spending an evening with Anakin that he fakes a pillow body in the guest room and sets himself up in the living room to guard

This is somewhat fortunate for him when an apparent burglar (who moves much too professionally and dangerously) breaks in through a window near silently

Jango barely has half a second of realizing something’s up before being side tackled

The fight is pretty intense, if odd for being so quiet, since they both coincidentally don’t want Anakin to wake up (at some point Obi-Wan manages to get Jango’s ski mask off)

In the end, Obi-Wan ends up pinned under Jango, hands restrained above his head, knife against his throat, straddled

Jango grumbles sardonically about how Obi-Wan couldn’t make Jango’s job easier and just sleep through the night and call the police in the morning, tipping Obi-Wan off to the man being there for Anakin instead of him

Obi-Wan is, of course, a self-sacrificing idiot and gets Jango’s attention by wondering out loud about what a small-time mechanic going through school could have done to get a high-level assassin sent after him

(Jango’s plan, as Obi-Wan has figured out, was to stage a break in/burglary and wake Anakin up and kill him in the resulting “fight” to make it look like the burglar had killed Anakin in the heat of the moment)

With the man under him clearly having figured out too much, Jango decides he’ll have to kill him too, but first thinks it’s worth learning what gave him away

There’s a bit of back and forth until Obi-Wan is able to piece together who exactly Jango is (should his assassin name be Mythosaur? I think that would be fun and the “myth” bit can refer to his work being so subtle and Jango being such an unknown outside of his assassin rep)

Now, someone figuring out exactly who Jango is an even bigger no-no, so Jango goes right for the kill

Jango doesn’t manage to kill Obi-Wan before Obi-Wan offers a deal (didn’t think I’d take “making a deal to save the other” this way, did you?)

Jango’s pressing a blade into Obi-Wan’s neck enough to draw blood but finds himself intrigued enough to let the man talk for another few seconds (Obi-Wan really is quite the negotiator)

Obi-Wan offers free information for life, basically, and to be support for a set number of missions a year. In exchange, Jango won’t kill Anakin and will let Obi-Wan find Jango’s client and kill the client to nullify the contract (and prevent Jango’s rep from being tarnished)

It’s an utterly absurd proposal but also clearly made with knowledge of the underground, so Jango of course asks who Obi-Wan thinks he is to make that kind of offer

Jango finds himself reluctantly impressed by Obi-Wan’s identity (I have no idea what his underworld identity is, but I don’t it to be “The Negotiator”) and finds himself considering the deal, which Obi-Wan catches onto and he manages to convince Jango

(Part of the final deal includes the fact that Jango technically has two more months per his contract to carry out the hit. If Obi-Wan can’t find the client by then, Jango will kill Anakin anyways. Obi-Wan is desperately confident that he can do it, despite Jango having basically zero info beyond the contract and a clearly shell company in Hong Kong to wire the money to)

Jango gets Obi-Wan to give him a glut of information over the next few weeks, to the point of them spending a few hours in a private booth/room in a very private club so Obi-Wan can safely give it all to him. Obi-Wan is both desperate to meet expectations and tries his best; and is also very annoyed at getting pulled away from hunting down who’s trying to kill Anakin and therefore sasses Jango quite a bit.

Obi-Wan is really having trouble figuring out who wants to kill Anakin, finally giving in and starting from the other end, Anakin himself. Why would someone want to kill Anakin? Specifically why would the sort of person who can find and hire Jango want to kill Anakin? This is in some ways even harder to figure out, but Obi-Wan has many more leads and information to access

After a few weeks of this dynamic, the first change is when Jango and Obi-Wan end up complaining about a mutual acquaintance during an info drop off, which leads to more mutual bitching

Then Jango drags Obi-Wan across the country (we’re just going to assume we were in like… NYC or Chicago before) to assist him in another assassination in LA

Obi-Wan is somewhat tempted to get Jango caught, since that would be an easy way to save Anakin, but decides against it for multiple reasons (including a few that he will not yet acknowledge, including developing fondness for Jango and, even worse, the first few seeds of trust)

So instead of going to prison, Jango returns from a smooth assassination to an already half-drunk Obi-Wan, shirt very scandalously unbuttoned halfway down

The have a nice night of just drinking and relaxing and then wake up the next morning curled around each other in bed (they didn’t have sex, as the lack of certain types of soreness and their clean, still on, pants from the night before prove. But they still have the knowledge and a few sensations of sleeping together with their guards down)

When they get back, things are a little awkward, but it’s fine, they’re professionals, so they’ll keep meeting to keep up their deal. Obi-Wan keeps giving Jango any info he wants, and they keep accidentally falling back into their habits of doing things like complaining about mutual acquaintances who annoy them

Obi-Wan is also making some headway with investigating who wants to kill Anakin, finding many questionable decisions on Anakin’s part, especially regarding friends/social circle, but not anyone who would be able to hire Jango that would dislike Anakin

With about a week and a half left, and leads running out, Obi-Wan starts to freak out a little, which Jango notices, which in turn makes Jango realize that he doesn’t like Obi-Wan being stressed out and afraid and tense and looking at Jango like he’s a cat about to pounce on a wounded canary

But Jango also puts work before all else so when he has another job (coincidentally in the same city), Jango drags Obi-Wan with him, unfortunately making the mistake to literally bring Obi-Wan with him

When Jango starts cursing about the job going to hell part way through a shoot-out, Obi-Wan casually comments that it’s not even that bad, prompting a sass battle between the two of them while they’re still fighting their actual opponents where Jango realizes that Obi-Wan, as brilliant as he is, has the worst on-the-ground luck ever

In the end, they win, with a very damaged, limping vehicle that they, for handwavey reasons, need to get to some spot that the car won’t make it to as is. Thus, they have to go slide into the mechanic shop Anakin’s working the graveyard shift for

Obi-Wan really does hate, in many ways, finally having his two worlds collide, bringing Jango and the shot-out car directly to Anakin, and is almost distracted from how bad he feels about it when Jango tries to comfort him

Jango is, thankfully, a very good actor, and Anakin is a bit oblivious. He very easily starts clumsily probing Jango about what Obi-Wan and Jango quickly figure out Anakin thinks is a romantic relationship between them (and, to be fair, Obi-Wan has been acting strange, and spending much more time “with a friend” in the past two months or so)

At some point, Obi-Wan gets so uncomfortable with the idea that he and Jango are in a romantic relationship that he makes what is, to him and Jango, a mistake, and draws attention to the bullet holes again

Jango vaguely looks like he wants to kill Obi-Wan while Anakin casually explains it’s not that big of a deal, although he might have to find a better patch if this sort of thing keeps happening

This stops any murder plans Jango was making, and any counter plans Obi-Wan was making in favor of carefully probing Anakin to figure out when else he had fixed a bullet ridden car

Anakin reveals pretty easily that his engineering school’s dean, Sidney Palpatine (Sidney=Sid-=Sidious lol) had dropped in about two and a half months ago with a car in similar condition. As well as a few other people that Anakin describes well enough for Jango and Obi-Wan to identify as members of a local crime organization and a private army (like Blackwater/Academi), as well as mention a weird package in the trunk

This is clearly the who and why for Jango getting hired to assassinate Anakin, but they both play it cool until Anakin’s done and they can go on their way to drop off the vehicle

Cue Obi-Wan having a panic attack, which freaks Jango out quite a bit, since he’s so used to Obi-Wan being very calm and controlled and not showing vulnerability. Obi-Wan even gets outwardly angry

Cue Jango’s “oh. Oh.” moment

Jango basically drags a near catatonic Obi-Wan back to the apartment he’s been staying in and drugs him to sleep (in Jango’s mind, if Obi-Wan was too out of it to notice a drugged drink, then he clearly had no more business staying awake)

By the time Obi-Wan wakes up and starts panicking, less than yesterday (thanks to a good night’s sleep), Jango has some basic information on the legal and illegal lives of Palpatine, and a few half-formed assassination plans

Jango also has toast. Which he makes Obi-Wan eat. Obi-Wan grumps about not having been forced to eat breakfast since he was a teen. Cue a small sassy back and forth that further calms Obi-Wan down

Jango offers to kill Palpatine for free, which startles Obi-Wan because that is not how the criminal underworld works. Jango half-heartedly puts forth some logic about how Obi-Wan succeeding with their deal means that Jango gets to keep the best information broker on his side. Obi-Wan can tell that that isn’t all, and recognizes that Jango is probably being kind, but won’t outright admit it

They eventually decide on a plan where Anakin will bring Obi-Wan with him to go visit dean Palpatine who he’s friends with, and that Obi-Wan will bring some poisoned tea in a travel to mug to share. Anakin will refuse the tea, being Anakin, and Obi-Wan and Palpatine will both drink the poison. Obi-Wan will have the antidote (either disguised as something innocuous or to be taken during a bathroom break) and cure himself before there are any symptoms, leaving Palpatine to die of what will look like a natural heart attack

The plan goes awry, due to Kenobi luck, when Anakin accidentally has them barge in while Palpatine is meeting with another criminal. Cue a fight in the office, a secret passage, and more criminals to fight while Jango scrambles to get to the new location to help

Obi-Wan manages to actually word his way into delaying their defeats and deaths until Jango gets there. Jango manages to take out about half of the enemies before he gets defeated/captured as well

At this point Obi-Wan tries to make a deal again, to save Anakin and Jango. It seems to work/Palpatine seems interested, only for him to pull the rug out and basically say he’ll be either killing all three or making them wish they were dead, including some conjecture about Obi-Wan’s looks (aka sexual slavery)

Cue Jango getting incensed enough to break free again and start fighting again. He gets to Obi-Wan, frees him, and thus ensues a battle couple take down from the cheesiest of action flicks

In the end, Palpatine is the last one standing. Before either of them (or Anakin, who is beginning to get over his shock) can kill Palpatine, he runs away. Jango, Obi-Wan, and a confused Anakin give chase, stopping at the end of an alley as they realize that Palpatine has been hit by a bus

Jango and Obi-Wan drag Anakin through a convoluted path back to Obi-Wan’s apartment and confirm that, yes, Palpatine died. Jango and Obi-Wan quickly confirm that there’s nothing linking them to the crime scene (Palpatine had told his secretary that Anakin and Obi-Wan had left out the back when he realized he was going to have to kill them, giving them an alibi)

Obi-Wan and Jango tell Anakin a mostly true story and prod Anakin to decide to go back to [insert some place here] and live with some half-distant bio relatives (the Lars family), maybe finish his degree online

Cut to a few months later, Obi-Wan is reading an update text from Anakin before Jango comes into the room. Obi-Wan gives him a good luck kiss before sending Jango out to his job, reminding him that “I’ve always got your back”, Jango responds in kind, Obi-Wan accepts this/informs Jango that he knows before letting Jango drag him into another kiss

#assassin deals AU #Kenfetti #Jangoobi #Jangobi #Obijango #asks #ask meme thing #Anonymous

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secret-engima · 4 years

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....I lied. If you’re still doing the title thing - if I go down gonna burn with the sun

I thought there was a few more title asks still lurking in here for me to answer. *cracks knuckles* RAMBLE TIME.

-Star Wars AU. Star Wars FFXV sorta-x-over AU where the Astrals decide that Aera and Ardyn deserve a chance at happiness, just not on Eos, and therefore go YEET. The Force, finding these two wayward and powerful souls is like- Sure okay and boom. Ardyn and Aera are reborn in a galaxy far, far away.

-Purely not coincidentally, far away, on different worlds and in different star systems, one Satine Kryze and one Obi-Wan Kenobi take their first breaths.

-Yes I’m serious.

-This would be- SUCH a chaotic fixit AU, both because Aera loves peace but she is NO pacifist and not about to let an entire Culture DIE just because some so called New Mandalorians cannot see the dangers of burying their own past. Two because- well.

-Ardyn has already BEEN a Chosen One and an Accursed, a Hero and a Villain. He has walked the path to salvation and damnation both and seen the worst sides of himself and humanity, and for all they look different, every species in the galaxy isn’t far different from humanity in those regards.

-Obi-Wan Kenobi grows up in the Jedi Temple and he is a Troublesome Child. Too quiet and too reckless by turns, a smile that could melt butter and a tongue that can strip flesh from the backs of whatever bully goes after him this time. The Jedi ... worry. He is Dark, they whisper, was born with shreds of Darkness in his soul. He is manipulative, they worry, he has a temper, they gossip.

-Ardyn hears them all and inside a part of him screams. Because of course he is Dark, they did not have their souls swallowed by a plague for others’ sake, were not consumed with madness until dying (being freed) at the hands of a nephew two thousand years removed. As for manipulation ... he doesn’t mean to. It’s just ... he’s so much OLDER than the other children mentally, older even than any Jedi there (even YODA), he can’t help it that he thinks rings around people sometimes, or that he is so in tune with the Force (with a galaxy-spanning magic that burns beneath his skin like a hundred newborn suns that he keeps buried so the Jedi will not sense it so clearly, will not know how strong and old he really is inside) that he can practically read minds and knows what to say to get the best outcome. He has a temper. Who doesn’t? You try being reborn after a lifetime of AGONY and see how patient you are with petty morons and small minded bullies.

-He says none of those things, and when his time grows near to be sent away without a Master, he does not fight it.

-He looks at the shadow of Qui Gon Jinn in the doorway and something in the Force ... sings. Sad and soft. It speaks of heartache and betrayal and a fear of being hurt again. Ardyn can almost FEEL the two paths branching away under his feet, one with Qui Gon in it, and one without, and he does not know which one will bring him less pain.

-Ardyn does not try to impress anyone in the sparring ring, but after he is done, he slips away. He finds Jinn in the garden, trying to meditate, and settles down across from him without invitation.

-Qui Gon opens his eyes in annoyance. He knows that the Council wants him to take a Padawan, and that this one is almost at the age of being moved to the Corps. He expects the boy to beg to become a Padawan, or to try to impress him somehow.

-Instead the boy just smiles, thin and sharp and knowing in a way that makes Qui Gon feel ... exposed. Like every thought and wound in his heart is on display for this child, “The Council wants you to take a Padawan. That’s why they keep making you watch us.” It’s a statement, not a question.

-Qui Gon raises an eyebrow, “And you think I should take you?”

-The boy shrugs, but his blue eyes are still sharp as knives behind his friendly mien and Qui Gon doesn’t like the feeling crawling up his spine, “That’s your choice to make and yours alone. There’s nothing I can say to change your mind one way or the other.”

-“Then why are you here?” He asks suspiciously.

-“Because you’re lonely, and it makes the Force feel sad.” The answer is so blunt, so sure of itself. Qui Gon feels his stomach twist, and old anger makes him snappish without meaning to be (he’s heard of this boy as well, he’s heard that he’s got a manipulative streak and a tendency to twist his Force empathy to his own ends, he’s heard many things).

-(Qui Gon forgets that it is not a good idea, to base judgement on rumors) “I am not, and if I was, I would not need your company to ease it.”

-Obi-Wan Kenobi, Initiate of the Jedi Temple Ardyn Lucis Caelum, Sage and Healer King and Accursed, tilts his head thoughtfully, then nods and stands up, “Then I will take my leave. Take care of yourself, Master Jinn.”

-Initiate Kenobi Ardyn the Accursed and Healer King walks away, and a breath later the Living Force twists, like the snapping of cables, and Qui Gon gets the fleeting, distinct impression that he has failed some kind of very important test.

-Ardyn is assigned to the AgraCorps. A life as a farmer for others awaits him.

-The day before he’s to be shipped off, he walks out one of the Temple’s side-entrances and into the underbelly of Coruscant with only the clothes on his back. He doesn’t look back even once. It takes until the next day for anyone (for his friends, if he can call them friends when they are so much YOUNGER and painfully more innocent than him) to miss him. It takes another day for the Jedi to realize Obi-Wan Kenobi is well and truly missing.

-Deep in Coruscant’s seedy side, at the dockyards manned by those who are less than concerned with legality, a boy in ratty (stolen) clothes asks to be taken aboard as a maintenance worker. He calls himself Ardyn Izunia, and there are no Force Sensitives close enough to feel the sunlike fire burning in his blood as he smiles.

-Skip forward several years and Satine Kryze (Aera) is on the run from Death Watch, civil war is on the horizon and her father asks for Jedi protection to keep her safe.

-The bounty hunter who calls himself Adagium finds her first.

-A sword that glitters like blood and cuts through metal like a lightsaber (that hums-hums-hums with magic none but a Force sensitive can see blazing like bloody fire down the ancient blade) finishes off the Death Watch assassin that Satine hadn’t had the chance to shoot yet, and under his hood, Adagium smiles. Satine stills, head tilted as if listening, then she collapses into the teenage bounty hunter’s arms in joyous tears. Adagium- Ardyn- holds her close and cries with her.

- “I finally found you, My Aera,” he breathes and for a moment he lets his magic loose and it burns like the sun through the Force, lancing through the growing shadows in the Force like they’re fragile paper and somewhere far away Sidious feels Doom™ crawl violently up his spine.

-Aka that Fixit AU where Aera is a Mand’alor that DOES want peace for her people but NOT at the cost of burning history to the ground (or being defenseless, she has died to the sword once already she will not go quietly into the night a second time, not if she has to paint the walls in blood to protect her life and the lives of her people), the Jedi are Confused™, and Ardyn is incredibly content to be Aera’s former bounty hunter trophy husband with a tendency to adopt strays (read: Anakin and Shmi who he frees as well as Anakin kthanks, and quite possibly Savage and Feral too tho no one is quite sure how) until the Clone Wars start and Ardyn takes one (1) look at the war and goes: ah. I know this plan. This is a stupid plan. And all of Sidious’s plans go fwoosh.

-Because I’m sorry but there is no way you can convince me that Ardyn wouldn’t EAT SIDIOUS ALIVE in any kind of fight, mental, physical, Force, or tactical. This man is 2k years old. It took Sidious until he was an old sack of bones to get his Empire and that was with GENERATIONS of Sith serving as his foundation, and then he got yote down a reactor shaft by his minion 19-25 years later. Ardyn was able to manipulate an entire Empire into engineering its destruction and fulfill ALL HIS REVENGE GOALS (giving Bahamut a headache, driving the world to darkness and ruin, and ending the line of Lucis Caelum INCLUDING HIMSELF) in like- 30-40 years. While MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY ILL thanks to the Scourge. Fully healthy and in control of himself and with people (Aera) to protect? Sidious would just be fresh meat.

-Also Ardyn adopts a bunch of the clones, possibly all the clones, on the excuse that since they were raised by Mandalorian trainers they count as Mandalorians and as genetic sons of Jango Fett that makes the Mandalorian CITIZENS by BIRTHRIGHT and the Republic can only watch in confusion as their army gets mass adopted by the Mand’alor’s trophy husband who also exposed their new Chancellor as a Sith. Bail Organa, the new Chancellor, may or may not be sweating quietly at the thought of accidentally gaining the ire of the so called Trophy Husband because he’s smarter than most and knows that Ardyn is Very Very Dangerous.

-Also also Qui Gon doesn’t die somehow because I do really like him and I think he’s a good Jedi, just not a good fit for Ardyn as a master.

#Secret Engima Rambles #Burn With the Sun verse #Ardyn Izunia #obi wan kenobi #obi wan x satine #ardyn x aera #oh no new au

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big1ron · 4 years

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The Venator “Resolute” had jumped right into a separatist trap. Somehow a virus infecting the main computer has scrambled the hyperspace jump coordinates, and now the companies on board were outnumbered and without reinforcements, deep in separatist space. A few last, desperate SOSs to nobody, and the ship was quickly overwhelmed with fire. The Resolute was going down. But not before each of the escape pods could be jettisoned.

————- Chapter One: Podrace. -————

The planet was thick in foliage and deep with caves. The contrast of the yellow pods on the blue stalks of many of the plants would have been beautiful, if they had time to admire it. The planet was currently in its night cycle. And the two Jedi’s escape pod had landed atop a rather high peninsula. Anakin climbed out of the smoking pod and coughed as he waved the smoke out of his face. He surveyed the ground far below him.

“I don’t see any enemy encampments, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. It’s impossible to see anything with all these crazy cliffs and caves. They’ll no doubt be sending hunter squads down shortly. How are the comms snips?”

“Fried master. The beacon too. Must have been destroyed in the landing.” Ahsoka climbs out after him, and steps up beside him, looking over the landscape below.

“Alright then let’s try to find another pod. Maybe a separatist base or some kind of settlement. We need to get off this rock.”

The escape pod crashed into the planet. Hard. All three passengers were thrown around pretty badly and Rex knew that would leave a mark. The impact had destroyed most of their equipment, and he had hit his shoulder against the wall of the pod. He knew it would bruise but it didn’t feel broken. He opened his eyes which he had squeezed shut on impact. He stirred to get up, and assess the other two men. One of the two, Echo, was doing the same. But the other, Kix, wasn’t moving. Rex gestured for echo to open the hatch while he climbed over to Kix and took his pulse, relieved he was alive before gently trying to shake him awake.

“Hey Kix, can you hear me? I need you in the here and now trooper.”

Kix groaned in response, pulling himself upright and rubbing his temples “wha’ ya need cap’n?”

He must have hit his head pretty badly, but he was awake, and that was a good sign. Rex hands Kix his bucket and turns for the hatch. Echo had already gotten it open and had been surveying their landing site. But before he could get outside the pod he hears Kix falling down behind him. He turns quickly to see Kix pulling himself to his feet again. That hit he took combined with the uneven floor of the pod made it hard for the medic to keep his balance. Rex took pity on him, and let Kix lean on him for support as Rex put an arm around his waist and practically dragged him out of the pod.

“This is u’necessary sir, ’m fine.”

“Define ‘fine.’ How badly did you hit your head?”

“Good.”

So, pretty bad rex guessed. The situation outside wasn’t looking too much better, as the pod had crashed though the ceiling of some kind of cave system upon landing. And it was rather dark in the caves with only the (admittedly pretty bright) moonlight from their entry hole, so rex switched is visor to night vision. Echo had already done the same.

“Two tunnels to the east, left one angled up, right angled down, and one tunnel to the north. Headed down. No sign of any hostiles.” Echo reported. “How’s Kix?”

“I’m fine.” With that Kix tried to stand up a little straighter, and away from rex to prove his point. But rex only pulled him closer, as if he was afraid he was going to fall again.

“He’s not fine. It looks pretty bad. But I’m no medic, and I don’t trust ours to give a proper diagnosis. Looks like we’re pretty close to the surface. So let’s try southeast.”

Echo took the lead, pistols in hand. But it soon became clear they were alone for now

“Hey Rex, do you think maybe you’re being a little overprotective again?” Echo asks as Kix trips, almost falling but held up by the captain.

“I think that’s proof enough that I’m not.” But as the ground levelled put slightly Rex hesitantly removed his supporting arm from kix. Which proved a mistake as echo, immediately overcome with the urge to pester, gave kix a light shove which sent him diving directly to the ground.

Fives stepped out of the escape pod, followed by Hardcase and Tup. Their pod had landed deep in the forest valley. Layers of escarpments and cliffs towered around them.

“The comms were sabotaged. Can’t get a message out.” Says tup, the last one out of the pod.

“We’ll just go find Rex. He has to be around here somewhere right? He’ll know what to do.” Says fives, who really has no idea what to do but has immediately assumed charge anyways.

“We don’t even know if Rex is out there. What we need to do is find some sort of communication, get a signal out. This is a separatist controlled planet right? So we find and take a base. We’ve still got guns, and they probably have communications devices”

“With just the three of us? Forget it. This is hopeless. I bet the others have already been shot down... I wouldn’t count on getting off this rock.” Hardcase falls silent at tups remark. He’s right, they are deep in separatist space with no ship, few rations and no communications. They’re probably going to be permanent residents. If they don’t run into and hunter droids of course.

But fives immediately contradicts. That’s no way for a republic soldier to think. “We have to at least try something. We can’t just give up. Let’s see if we can climb up to.... that ridge, and see what we can from that vantage point.” Fives points to one of the higher cliffs facing them, as they have no heading and he’s got to start somewhere.

“I don’t know, might be a better idea to stay put and wait for the hunter droids to find us. They might have salvageable communications devices”

“Really hardcase? I thought you were all about doing and hyperactivity” fives waves his blaster towards the cliff “you really just want to stay put? Wait for us to just die like tup does?”

“Hey! that’s not what I-“ Tup starts

“No, I don’t! But what I do want is for us to get off this rock and I think that’s our best option!”

“You know you wouldn’t be able to sit still that long so let’s start making time before we waste it. Move it troopers, let’s go.”

Ahsoka poked at the ground with a stick. They had traveled a fair ways away from the pod by now, and had stopped along a ridge. Her master was sitting cross legged and mediating. Actually meditating! That’s how you knew he had no clue. Anakin skywalker never meditated.

“You know it would probably help if you tried too” anakin opened one eye to look at the padawan. He had never been good at reading the living force, but even mediocre skill combined with his absolutely massive force signature had to account for something, right?

“What are you even trying to do anyways?”

“I don’t know, sense If there are any clones or droids around maybe? It’s not working anyways.” He sighs and gets up, turning in a seemingly random direction and stars walking. They need to find some sort of communications if they want to-

“Wait, master” ahsoka ignites both her lightsabers and anakin does the same

“I sense it too.”

Suddenly the engines of two speeder bikes are heard, and headlights wash over them in the dark, as two mounted commando droids rush towards them. The droids open fire and-“Ahsoka wait!”

Too late. She had already deflected the bolts into the engine of one of the bikes, causing it to explode. Her master skillfully decapitated the other droid and used the force to slow the bike to a stop.

“You could have used that bike. Now you’re riding pillion.” He mounts the bike and pats the space behind him. “But at least you won’t crash this way”

“Hey I never crash!” Complains ahsoka as she climbs on behind him. “Besides, you don’t get to complain about my driving when you’ve crashed every ship you’ve ever flown”

The last pod had landed in a slightly more flat area, nearby a crude and thin path, that the group was now following deeper into the thick forest. The group was occupied by Jesse, who had elected himself leader and nobody had objected, Coric, and Dogma. They had been walking a while and everyone had been pretty quiet. Especially since tensions between Jesse and Dogma was still... weird.

“So are you two just going to give each other the silent treatment for however long we’re stuck here?” Asks coric, fed up with the silence

“No.” “Yes.” They answer at the same time, in the same tone.

“Alright Jesse, why do you refuse to talk to Dogma?”

“I don’t need to explain myself to you. And you already know anyways. Nows not the time for this. Keep your focus on the road.”

“You know you can’t stay mad at him forever. We could be more effective if we work together”

“Actually, I can. Look I’ll talk to him when I need to, ok?”

‘I’m standing right here you know’ Dogma almost says. Instead he just goes with “I have no objections.” To remind them he is, in fact there.

“Of course you don’t.” Jesse grumbles “cause I have orders for you and you can’t function without those, can you.” Dogma looks to his feet and coric looks defeated. It’s true, having clear orders from Jesse is the only thing keeping him from low key panicking.

Suddenly four pairs of glowing eyes flick on in front of them, where four hunter commando droids had been lying in wait.

#the clone wars #star wars #tcw #clone trooper tup #arc trooper echo #arc trooper fives #captain rex #clone wars #clonewars #clone trooper dogma #clone trooper hardcase #clone trooper kix #clone trooper jesse #clone trooper coric #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #my writing

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pumpkin-lith · 5 years

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So, basically, the thing was, it all starts on a beautiful Senate day. Palpatine is walking with some random Senator, and he needs for that conversation to keep going so, let's not take the lifts, haha, let's walk down those stairs.

And nobody uses the stairs, right, they're all lazy and/or busy, lifts are faster, so if you use the stairs, you're either somewhat claustrophobic, don't fit inside the humanoids or even the larger/taller ones, have a tryst with your lover who might or might not be a Jedi, or maybe you just want a quiet place to take your lunch.

But point is, nobody uses the stairs much so the cleaning droids, they have so much to do, have you seen the size of the Senate, they keep the cleaning of all those unused stairs for way late at night on weekends when aaaalll the rest is done or don't need constant maintenance.

So say, if there's a slice of tomato on a stair, because someone packed up their lunch a little fast because _some_ people have no shame, doing that just above their salad, it would just… stay there, for hours, until Chancellor Palpatine and Random Senator walk by.

And, don't get me wrong, love the Naboo fashion, but man, those robes and collars…

There's no way Palpatine sees that small little slice of tomato and Woops he goes.

And on one hand, he's a Sith, yes, powers, super agility to do that triple side somersault, he could recover like that. snaps

But on the other hand, he's posing as Old Man Sheev Palpatine, and, say, the door just opened on a Jedi Master looking for his wayward Padawan soon to be Knight because he heard he just might be in that staircase, so if Force use there is to avoid the fall, the Jedi will feel it and his carefully engineered war just started, that would be the most stupid way to be found out, right ?

And, really, all things considered what harm can a little fall do, there will be exactly two people to see him fall, one is a Random Senator that he needs for this or that bill but is otherwise of no importance and will never dare laugh about the Chancellor and a Jedi who's too damn nice to dare mock an old man, yes ?

So, he lets the fall by tomato slice happen.

And. Hits. His. Head.

And here is the thing : when he wakes up, he's completely amnesiac \0/.

No memories, no background and certainly not Sidious.

There's all these well wishers and people calling him Chancellor and being nice and worried but he has no clue, and no relative, no wife, to help with recovering his memories.

But, lucky him, he’s a public figure, he even has two or three biographies written about him, great !

Look, you can't tell me that, even without considering he's a Sith named Sidious, a politician of Palpatine’s caliber doesn't have 1) several books written about him and 2) made damn sure he knew exactly what was in those, and how the Galaxy saw him through them.

Palpatine, His Life, His Work, by Totally A Non-Influenced Author I Swear Cross My Heart.

So what Amnesiac By Tomato!Palpatine can find about his own life, his own motivations and goals, is the official backstory he so carefully crafted himself.

So, we're like, mhh, not that long after Geonosis, the War has started and some people in the Senate are seeing different shades in the colors Palpatine is showing with emergency powers being around and the Army bill passing because, hey, actually, we do have an Army…

But all of that is fresh, no books on that ! Press articles, sure, but the biographies, so far, they're all showing the same basic facts, and those include :

He’s from Naboo, there's probably stories about how his Good, Rich, Upstanding family was Wholesome and full of Values he inherited

Became a Senator and, when the young Queen from his homeworld came to ask for help after an Invasion, he Stepped Up and became Chancellor to Help the Downtrodden

That Queen ended up a Senator after her Tenure and he was her Mentor in the Senate as a Good, Benevolent Grandfatherlike Figure

Someone Likes Capitalizing Stuff Too Much

And sure, he may be amnesiac but he still has (most) of his brainpower, so he'd look for other sources, look up the HoloNet (after enabling Safe Search, what is even that SheevBinks ship, Jesus people), see some nuances, some saying that he's a true friend and ally to the Jedi Order, some saying he's just another corrupt politician, some saying he's the reincarnation of a 300 year old eggplant deity from Felucia because it's the space internet.

But mostly, Sidious did his cover up good, especially at that point in time, he appears as a Political, slightly better dressed version of Santa.

And of the two people who could shed some (Dark) light into this, let's say Amedda choked to death that morning (on a tomato, of course), so sad, and Dooku can't exactly walk into the hospital to get the facts straight now, can he.

On the list of People who can actually visit, there will be two important ones :

First, Anakin puppy eyed newly or about to be Knighted, very newly wedded, riding that Honeymoon Vibe.

Who is so gonna tell their Friend and Father Figure Daddy Palpatine how good a human being he is, how full of advice, how they talked a lot for years about ending slavery and that Peace is Good.

And Padmé Protégée Naberrie Amidala who would be a little more careful and admitting that they had some differences but, the War just started and can maybe still be stopped with negotiations, but for that, they need a ruling body who can negotiates and she sympathizes with Palpatine's current ailment but surely, he sees that right now, he cannot be Chancellor to the Republic, yes ?

So, so far, Tomato Brain here is not sure of much but he does have a few facts that seem to be stuff people agree on : he's grandfatherly, he gives good advice, he's mostly a Good person who likes Peace and he does the Right Thing when it's time to step up.

So he does just that. The Good, Right Thing for the Republic he's apparently spent his whole life serving.

He steps down from the Chancellor mantle. And, while waiting for elections to be able to be held, and given that Vice Chancellor Amedda sadly died last day of tomato choking, his last act is to appoint Senator Amidala as Acting Chancellor in the meantime.

It makes sense, my dear, don't be so surprised, I'm an old, injured man with no memories, and you've been a good friend and are a good person, both according to everyone and from what I saw personally. It's like I can feel it by some way, crazy, I know, but don't worry, you'll take good care of the Republic.

And then he decides to retire on Naboo, he read he has a nice vacation house on his Estate, and all this talk about tomatoes made him think he might just like growing his own garden.

And this is a happy, cracky verse, (if you don't think this is crack, you haven't been paying attention) so nothing goes wrong.

There is no Evil Diary of Sidious hidden somewhere, nothing Dark in that vacation home, it was basically a front so it's closer to an Ikea showroom than an Evil Lair, he settles in nicely for his nice retirement on a very comfy pension.

Though he doesn't need all of that money, does he, let's also give to charities and to people working against slavery, because apparently, that's what he used to do, and it does seem like a Good Thing.

And Dooku, let's not forget our second Sith Lord. Now, Sidious is away from the main media eye, away from Coruscant, it would be easy to go to him and tell him the truth…

But why in the seven hells would he.

Let's remember that Dooku joined the Dark Side initially because he felt the Jedi wouldn't, couldn't do fuck about Sidious, that the only way would be to find the Sith Master and join him to stab him in the back. And he Fell along the way and stuff, but in the beginning of it all, he had let's say, Good Motivations, Not Very Good Plan.

But this IS the beginning. And Apart from Geonosis, the War is now stalling, because there is no puppet master, no shadow leader, no Great Big Bad Plan behind it all and someone playing chess with all the Galaxy as his pawns, black AND white.

There is just the Republic on one Side, Dooku and the CiS on the other, and Sidious is planting tomatoes as a hobby.

So, Dooku can go back to his own true love too. Politics. (Yurk. But whatever rocks your boat, man)

And, so, why don't we talk about this like civilized beings, hmm ?

Surely, the Republic isn't a Tyranny not letting people pick another way ?

It's talks or a war, what do you pick ?

So.

No war.

Lots of Politics, I'm sure Dooku and Padmé and Satine and assorted madbeings are living, there's bills and conferences and cabinets meetings and sessions everywhere, THIS is my version of Hell but it works out.

And, because it's me, let's talk about the clones.

There's Now a couple millions guys for an Army that is actually not needed, Chancellor never even got the time to ratify that bill, sorry, so actually you're not even the GAR, at most you're, like, the GA, maybe ?

But you know who is understaffed, just lost a good dozens members and often act as Senatorial envoyees to dangerous places ? The Jedi. Who you want to serve anyway ! Great.

So the Jedi take custody of the GA, and well, it's not an Army innit, the Jedi can't have an Army, and we're not going to call them the G, that's stupid, so they became a branch of the Jedi Corps, Protection and Escort and Badass Looking or something like that, they go with Jedi everywhere, make sure no Jedi die or is injured or kidnapped or enslaved or goes off to join a civil war or anything. Keep their Jedi safe and protected everywhere. Good stuff.

While Palpatine plants his tomatoes.

And, to wrap this up, let's say, ten years down the line, when little Luke and little Leia become Padawans, the ripple in the Force lights up the whole Galaxy so much an old man with a strawhat in his field of tomatoes remembers.

And Darth fucking Sidious realises he wasted a century long conspiracy crafted by all his line of Siths, gave his puppet Senator his actual job of Leader, she's married to his Carefully Groomed Apprentice who is now Happy Light Daddy, he gifted his biggest enemies with an Army who is now protecting them, the Order is flourishing, Republic and CiS are allies and in harmony, the Galaxy is so Light it burns and he's known as a Good Old Man giving most of his wealth to charities and who is making tomatoes preserves.

And Sidious dies of an aneurysm, in his field of tomatoes (which, unfortunately, might actually burn down if he does explode. Those good tomatoes, so sad.)

#star wars #complete crack #palpatine defeated by tomatoes #april's fools #my writing #bullet point fic

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sullen-defiance · 5 years

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Captain Marvel summary and review- Spoilers

Captain Marvel as a movie had a lot of expectations going for it. The problem is it can’t just be fine, it has to be great to justify itself and that sucks.

The first half was...okay. The part with the 90′s was less than what was expected by the built up hype. We get blockbuster, radio shack, one of those coin operated phone booths and I think that’s it. It’s less epic than what I was expecting, and that’s fine!

I have not read the comics for this character apart from a few pages floating around. I do know some of her backstory though. The dad, the brothers...interestingly almost none of this is in the movie. The clips of her childhood in the movie are all that is. It’s a kinda montage. I wish we had gotten 10-20 minutes at the beginning of the movie that detailed her childhood.

Instead it starts off with her in the kree world with her memory lost, she doesn’t know herself and unfortunately nor do we. As the movie progresses, she starts remembering but we don’t get much of an inside look (if that makes sense). It would work in a book format, not so much for a movie, much less an action adventure.

In the kree world, Carol is known as Vers, (from Danvers). She has powers, but weirdly her mentor insists on her fighting without them. He also tells her she has to suppress her feelings to be a great warrior and she takes it as well as Anakin Skywalker. She then meets the Supreme Intelligence of the kree ppl, whose true form nobody knows, they appear instead as the opposite person’s most admired figure. So, a reverse boggart?

Jude Law also tells Carol he wants her to be her best self and that sent me screaming to You, it was not a good comparison.

The higher powers approve her going into combat, so this is her first mission, in 6 years? A little back and forth between her and the Supreme Intelligence, she can;t remember who she’s speaking to, even if its supposed to be the person she most admires. At the mission, more back and forth between the team, this time more humorous. Carol seems the outsider and we later find out why. The entire team knows more about her than she does, and they’re hiding it from her.

The mission to rescue a spy goes awry, its a trap, they capture Carol who the trap is actually for. A memory device pokes at her brain and spills montages left and right. Carol wakes up, kicks ass and crash lands on CR-45 (?) which its inhabitants know as earth. The memory spills include one of a Dr Lawson, who Carol sees the higher beings as. The kree want this doctor. She spills all to Jude Law who tells her to sit tight.

She does not sit tight.

Carol and Fury reenact the buddy cop movies of the 90s, and team up after Fury sees the Skrulls with his own eyes morphing into Coulson. Fury is basically a baby in this, since when his boss tells him, over the dissected body of not!coulson to keep this to himself and not to involve any other shield employee, Fury agrees. Has he not watched any 90s movie? He was in half of them!

They end up causing chaos in the air force hanger and find valuable clues to Dr Wendy Lawson and Vers’s past. After new recruit real!Coulson lets them go, they buddy cop over to Maria, Carol’s bestest. It explains why Coulson and Fury are so close. Coulson earned Fury’s trust a long time ago. Maria gives an infodump on Carol’s past and her last day on earth. Lawson, one day, was frantic and said lives were at stake and her prototype plane had to take off now. Carol insists on flying it. That’s all they know until the Skrulls turn up. Talos, Head Skrull, gives her a peace offering, the black box of her crash.

Voice box recording turns into flashback. Lawson was actually a kree who defected. She was working on a new fast type of plane powered by the tessaract, which was picked up by Howard Stark at the end of CA:TFA. It turns out the Kree are the bad guys while the skrulls are the good guys?! wtf? This was kinda a weird choice. I kept waiting for the skrulls to turn around and say sike! we’re the bad guys too! So the skrulls are the good guys in the movieverse? I know there are some good skrulls in comics, but they are really rare. The kree attack Lawson and they crash. She bleeds blue and insists on destroying the engine. Before she can do that, Jude Law shoots her, Carol shoots the engine and absorbs the energy. The Starforce team kidnap Carol.

Fury is still suspicious and threatens Talos with the cat, which will follow them hither, thither and yon. Talos claims it is actually a Flerken. They head to Lawson’s secret headquarters, which is orbiting earth, and is host to skrull refugees. Lawson was building her superfast plane for the skrulls, so they could go far away where the kree could not reach them and settle on a new planet. Carol, charmed by mini-skrulls, swears to help.

Goose, the cat, the flerken actually, SWALLOWS the tessaract by i shit you not using the octopus tentacles that come out of his/her mouth. Dr Lawson had strange taste in pets. Now it makes me sad, to think of the flerken left alone after Lawson dies and Carol disappears. No wonder she keeps following Carol. After I finish this I have to go cuddle my cat.

Jude and the Starforce show up and ruin things as usual. They capture everyone and tie Carol up fifty shades style and the Supreme Intelligence taunts her, saying Carol’s emotions are still holding her back. This is when Carol goes into kickass mode and wipes the floor with everyone. Goose...swallows some people. I don’t want to talk about it. Maria flies the rest of them to safety and kree forces gather at earths atmosphere and attack. Carol kicks their ass too and promises Thranduil that she’ll come for the rest of them. They leave. Carol puts Jude Law back in his place, it is so satisfying.

Fury learns what happens when you give too much attention t a cat when it does not want to be touched. I would not survive if I had a flerken. It is hilarious though that all those shitposts and memes and other posts of Fury and Goose and Fury’s eye are now canon. Carol leaves with the skrulls to find them a new home and gives Fury back his updated pager. Fury starts typing up his Avengers manifesto v1.

So, the second half of the movie was when it really hits its stride. Carol really settles into herself then, and there’s definitely a change in her. Her sense of humour also reminds me of Tony Stark and it would be a joy to see them interacting in Endgame, but I doubt they’d give Tony’s character that.

The two main drawbacks were lack of attention on her childhood and youth, which is only hinted at and the lack of introspection. There are no quiet moments where they focus on her emotions, so we get to know her and how she’s really feeling. The only facets of her you see are wisecracking, kicking everyone’s ass and memory loss angst. You don’t even see her ptsd, it doesn’t really touch her. It could just be first movie problems. The second movie, or subsequent avenger v2 movies could address this.

Everything else was great, I particularly loved the credits, Marvel has been pushing them to an art form lately and CM’s is really epic.

POST CREDIT SCENES

MID: Present day Avengers Compound. We see some numbers first, Tony’s holographic screens are up and the news is not good. The numbers missing is devastating. Camera moves to bearded Steve in a white tshirt looking delicious and Natasha standing around the holographs. Steve says, “This is a nightmare.” Nat says something like i’ve never had a nightmare like this before. Rhodey enters and says the pager turned off. They rush there, Bruce is there too. They troubleshoot a little and Nat orders it be turned on and new developments reported to her. She turns around and Carol is there. Its a bit like a horror movie scene to be honest.

END: Goose vomits out the tessaract.

#captain marvel #brie larson #goose #carol danvers #avengers #spoilers

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swinfinities · 5 years

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Long Live the Queen: Part Six

“Alderaan, huh?” the man said. He was a gruff-looking smuggler—typical of the riff-raff that cycled in and out of Tatooine’s seedy bars and spaceports. Places like these were hives for their sort.

“Yes. One way,” said Obi-wan.

“Cargo?” asked the smuggler.

“Only passengers. Myself, the woman, the boy, and no questions asked.”

The smuggler chuckled.

“Alderaan’s a pretty easy jump. Especially for a ship like the Millenium Falcon.”

“Is it a fast ship?” asked Padmé.

“Fast ship?” the smuggler said, looking dumbfounded. “You’ve never heard of the Millenium Falcon?”

“Should I have?” Padmé said.

“She’s the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. She’s fast enough for you, beautiful. What’s the matter? Trying to get off-world in a hurry? Some kind of local trouble?”

“Let’s just say we want to avoid any Imperial entanglements,” said Obi-wan.

“Well, that’s the real trick, isn’t it?” the smuggler chuckled. “And it’ll cost you extra. Ten thousand. All in advance.”

“Ten thousand!” Padmé exclaimed, probably a little too loudly. “If you had any idea who you were dealing with—”

“Quiet down, Padmé,” said Obi-wan, placing a hand on her shoulder. “We will pay you two thousand now, and an extra fifteen when we reach Alderaan.”

“Seventeen?” the smuggler said, sitting back in his chair. “Alright, you have yourselves a deal. Meet me in docking bay ninety-seven.”

“Ninety-seven,” Obi-wan repeated.

*****

Padmé dragged what little luggage she had up the Falcon’s boarding ramp. Luke followed closely behind, his hand gripped tightly in hers. When she stepped inside, she once again found herself missing the luxuries of her royal Naboo cruiser.

“Mom, this ship smells,” Luke said. She turned to him and placed a silent finger over her lips.

Somewhere in the ship, they heard a Wookie yell.

“That would be my copilot, Chewbacca,” said the smuggler. “Don’t mind him and he won’t mind you. And… don’t say anything about the smell.”

Padmé shot Luke a glance. He turned his face down in embarrassment.

“But I’m a bit anxious to put some space between myself and this planet, so if you’ll just strap yourselves in, I’ll make the preparations for takeoff.”

The man indicated a small leather sofa situated against the far wall across from the navicomputer station. The three of them sat down and fastened the restraints across their waists. The smuggler and his Wookie disappeared down a hallway, walking towards what must be the cockpit.

“Well, I’ve been in less comfortable places,” Obi-Wan said, trying to lighten the dreary mood inside the freighter.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Padmé said. “I thought that our stay on Geonosis was pretty enjoyable. Or perhaps you were talking about that business on Cato Neimoidia?”

Obi-Wan shuddered and smiled. “Oh, don’t remind me,” he said.

The ship shuddered and tipped to one side. They could hear the noise of the engines working to lift them off the ground. In only a few minutes, the ship would be free from Tatooine’s gravitational influence and they could make the hyperspace jump towards Alderaan.

“Mommy, where are we going?” Luke asked.

“I already told you. It is somewhere far away. It’s another planet, called Alderaan. That’s… that’s where I will leave you. Ben will take you someplace else. Someplace safe.”

“But I don’t want to leave you, mom.”

“I know. I don’t want to leave you either. But this is the only way. Remember? I told you that you were important. You’re the most important little boy in the whole galaxy. You’re going to go help so many people. You are going to become a Jedi, like your father. You will learn about the Force.”

“The Force?”

It was Obi-Wan’s turn to speak.

“The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It is an energy field that exists inside all living things. It surrounds us and binds us and… holds the galaxy together.”

Luke seemed very uninterested.

“It… er… it also lets you do tricks like this,” Obi-wan said.

He held out his hand towards the pile of luggage in the corner. One of the bags began to move. It lifted itself off the ground, hovering in midair as if held aloft by invisible hands.

Luke’s eyes grew wide.

“You’ll teach me to do that?” Luke asked.

Obi-wan nodded.

“And so much more. The Force is the pathway to unlocking unimaginable power. But you must always remember to use it for good. Never to hurt. Only to help.”

Luke nodded.

“Which reminds me,” Obi-Wan said. “I have something for you.”

“A present?” Luke asked.

“Yes. Something like that. Come here, I’ll show you.”

Luke and Obi-Wan unfastened their seat belts. Obi-Wan opened his own luggage and began to rummage through it. After a few moments, he pulled out a long, metal cylinder.

“What is it?” Luke asked.

“Your father’s lightsaber. It is the weapon of a Jedi knight—not as clumsy or random as a blaster. It is an elegant weapon… for a more civilized age. Take it. It is yours.”

“Ben! You aren’t giving my son a weapon. He is hardly ten years old.” Padmé protested.

“Relax, Padmé,” said Obi-Wan. “I wasn’t much younger than he was when I constructed my first lightsaber. And that was after I had spent the better part of a day alone in the frozen ice caves of Ilum, searching for a crystal. Anakin did the same. So has every Jedi from the beginning.”

Before his mother could protest any further, the cabin of the Millennium Falcon suddenly echoed with the crackling hum of electrified plasma. The beam of a lightsaber cast a soft blue glow over the faces in the room. Luke was absolutely awestruck by the magical weapon he held in his hand. He swung it back and forth, listening to its power as it hummed and sliced through the air.

“Looks like you’ve found yourselves a pretty little toy,” a voice said. The smuggler was suddenly standing in the entryway to the cabin, leaning casually on the wall.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen one of those. Couple of years, at least,” he said. “Are you folks looking to make some quick cash? I know a fella named Grakkus. He goes nuts for that old Jedi stuff. Don’t ask me why. That guy’s about as sane as a rabid loth-cat.”

“I’m afraid we won’t be selling the lightsaber,” said Obi-Wan. “And don’t think about trying to steal it from us, either, or your hand might just come with it.”

The smuggler raised his hands in mock surrender, but his face kept that same sarcastic smirk it always did.

“Alright, I won’t get any ideas,” he said. “I’m just the pilot, after all. Speaking of which, we’re about to make the jump to lightspeed, so make sure you’re sitting down and your tray tables are up and all that good stuff…”

He turned and disappeared back into the cockpit. A few moments later, the engines whined and the ship shook subtly. They were on their way to Alderaan.

#star wars infinities #star wars #fanfiction #alternate universe #alternate timeline #padme amidala #obi-wan kenobi #luke skywalker #han solo #chewbacca #milennium falcon #short story #writing #fan fiction

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fialleril · 7 years

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Anabasis ‘verse fic: Speed

So I was suddenly hit by the urge to write a snippet of Anabasis backstory as a one-shot fic? Apparently.

For anybody just joining in, check out the background of my Anabasis AU here. This particular fic is set just a few months before the beginning of the main story, so Palpatine is still in power and Padmé is still an Imperial Senator/Rebel spy and she and Darth Vader are investigating each other. (Well, I say investigating. It turned into something...distinctly different and much more dangerous a while ago, but Padmé’s only just beginning to admit that to herself and Vader is very definitely Not Thinking about quite a lot of things at this point.)

In which Senator Amidala convinces Darth Vader to play hooky. I’m blaming this on @flaminganakin, who probably has no idea why.

Also, although I ultimately decided to give this fic something resembling a real title, I think you all should know that it was saved in my drafts as “It’s 10 o’clock. Do you know where your Sith apprentice is?”

Speed

It was a nice speeder. A very nice speeder, actually: sleek and dark, with an open cockpit and exposed engines, manual controls, and a pair of geometric symbols worked in vibrant yellow on the sides. The yellow was surprising. Darth Vader didn’t seem like the type for bright colors.

He was watching her from the corner of his eye, watching and not watching at once. Padmé was reminded, inexplicably, of a child eager to show off his project but trying not to be too obvious about it. It was a strange and unsettling thought, all the more so because it wasn’t new.

She took a slow step forward and, very deliberately not looking at him, ran a hand over the leather covering the seats. “How fast is it?”

“What?”

He’d completely failed to disguise the surprise in his voice. Padmé smiled to herself without turning. “How fast is it?” she asked again. “Come on. No one owns a speeder like this and doesn’t know how fast it goes.”

A startled laugh escaped him, bright and unrestrained. Padmé kept her eyes on the speeder. That laugh felt like a victory, and she wouldn’t risk ruining it by letting him see that in her face.

“It’s fast,” he said. There was a definite note of pride in his voice, and a restrained eagerness that said he could quite happily talk about his speeder in as much detail as she cared to hear, and probably for hours. Yet he said nothing else. The silence stretched. Padmé’s smile slipped.

“Hmm,” she said. “What model is it? I don’t recognize it.”

This time there was an even longer pause, long enough that Padmé did turn back to look at him. He was still standing several feet from her, shrouded in that enormous dark cloak, but without the hood he looked less intimidating and far more uncertain. He fidgeted with his hands before noticing the direction of her gaze and clasping them behind his back. There was something almost sheepish in him, and again she was reminded of a child, uncertain and anxious for approval. The lightsaber hanging at his hip somehow did nothing to dispel the image.

“Anakin?” she asked.

There it was: that sudden jolt of startled warmth in his eyes that always appeared when she said his true name. She hadn’t gotten used to it yet. Maybe she never would. He looked at her like she was the answer to every question he’d never been allowed to ask. It was heady and terrifying at once, and for weeks now she’d been trying her best not to think too deeply on what that look could mean.

“It’s, um. It’s an original,” he said. His smile was small and shy and looked so strange on Darth Vader’s face that it took a moment for Padmé to fully register what he’d said.

“You mean you built this? From scratch?”

He shrugged and nodded slightly, but if he was going for coolly reserved his pleased little smile was doing him no favors. Her eyes went to the cowl bunched at his neck, and she was suddenly and uncomfortably aware that she was one of the few people in the Empire who had ever seen his face. That he had chosen to show her his face.

A face to go with a name. It was that thought that decided her.

“Let’s go,” she said.

He blinked twice, rapidly, and tilted his head to the side to study her with a bemused quirk of his mouth. “What? Go where?”

Padmé laughed. “I don’t know. Anywhere. You say this thing is fast. Prove it.”

But she must have said something wrong, because she could already see him walling himself away. His face set and his jaw tightened: an attempt at an expressionless mask, perhaps, but to her he looked almost angry. Padmé suppressed a shiver as he said, “I don’t think that’s wise, Senator. The Emperor – ”

“ – can survive for a few hours without you, surely,” she snapped. The sudden burst of fury surprised even her, but it left Vader – Anakin – wide-eyed, his careful control forgotten, his face more open than she’d ever seen it. There was something there, some half-hidden glimpse of…Padmé wasn’t sure what to call it. Something both hesitant and hopeful at once. Something that made her bold.

“Come on,” she said, stepping closer and reaching out a hand to rest on his arm. “You can’t tell me you never want to just – go. Leave everything for a while and go for a spin.”

“I have my duty, Senator,” he said stiffly.

“Oh, of course,” said Padmé slyly. “But my proposal is perfectly in line with your duty. You can use this opportunity to build trust and rapport with me, the better to further your investigation. It’s wonderfully clever.”

He contained his amusement this time, though Padmé could still see it shining in his eyes. There was a light of mischief there that made her breath catch. “You’re not under investigation, Senator,” he said with the barest hint of a smirk.

He hadn’t even attempted to sound sincere. Padmé shot him a smirk of her own and responded in kind.

“Well,” she said. “In that case there can’t be anything wrong with you taking me out for a spin.”

A short huff of laughing breath escaped him, and Padmé counted another victory for her.

“Sometimes I forget that you were my Master’s protégé,” he said. “But sometimes it’s easy to remember.”

The smile froze on her face. “I could say the same about you.” The words left an acrid taste in her mouth. She was less certain what he made of them, but he no longer looked amused.

“Well played, Senator,” he murmured.

“Padmé,” she blurted, suddenly furious. “It’s Padmé, Anakin. Especially here.”

Maybe she shouldn’t have said that. It skirted too closely to so many of the things they didn’t talk about, and came perilously near to acknowledging what neither of them could afford to admit. He should never have brought her here. He shouldn’t even have been here himself. And they both knew it.

Darth Vader had quarters in the Imperial Palace, of course. Padmé had never seen them. But if she’d spent any time imagining the kind of space he might inhabit, she probably would have pictured something not unlike the general décor of the palace itself. Dark and ornate, a maze of gilt and shadows punctuated with the deep red of blood. That was Palpatine’s signature style.

This place was something entirely and jarringly different. Vader – Anakin – had called it his headquarters, though he’d said the word with a twist of his lip that was somehow both sardonic and oddly shy at once. Padmé had thought she understood the moment she saw the place: a small, nondescript apartment in a quiet and rather dingy neighborhood in Cocotown. The kind of place that might be expected to house a mechanic or a laborer, not a Sith Lord.

He’d brought her here, to this place that was his and only his. There was nothing of Palpatine here, and very little of anything she might have identified with Darth Vader. The kitchen was small but bright and well-stocked, clearly the central space in the apartment. It smelled of spices and the tea he’d made for her a few times now. There were two glass boxes filled with plants, well-tended and thriving, and bundles of herbs were hanging from a beam on the ceiling. There was a woven tapestry on one wall, done in geometric patterns in shades of tan, black, and russet. And there was a painting hanging on the opposite wall that she was nearly certain was one of Palo’s. It was a landscape, a stylized depiction of Naboo’s lake country. The garage was equally lived in, cluttered with parts and tools, and the speeder he’d shown her was obviously a long term project, one he was both proud and protective of, and one he clearly did not want Palpatine to know about, if his reluctance to consider her suggestion was any indication.

This was a place that was inherently dangerous. And now she was a part of that secret.

He couldn’t take that back. No matter how much she thought he was beginning to wish he could. That spark of something in his eyes was already fading, replaced by an all too familiar distance. “The Emperor will be expecting me,” he said without inflection. But she noticed he wouldn’t meet her gaze. “I’ll escort you back to 500 Republica, Senator.”

Padmé’s heart sank. Something had been lost, though she didn’t know what it was or how to name it. But it burned in the air between them and choked its way past her lips in a flood of frustrated, thoughtless words. “Why? Why should he order your every move and your every thought? He doesn’t own you!”

He straightened as though she’d slapped him. Some complicated, indecipherable emotion flashed across his face and was gone.

“Let’s go,” he snapped, sudden and violent, and brushed past her in a single stride. Padmé turned, blinking, just in time to see him place one hand on the side of the speeder, just above that bright yellow decal, and vault into the pilot’s seat. He shot her a grin so ferocious it was almost a snarl and said, “Well? Are you coming?”

“What?” said Padmé, still blinking. What had just happened?

“You said you wanted to see how fast this thing is,” Anakin said. “So, are you coming?”

He still wore that feral grin, and Padmé allowed herself, just briefly, to imagine Palpatine on his throne, wondering where his lackey was. “Yes,” she said with a grin of her own, and slid into the seat beside him.

Padmé had no idea where they were going, but Anakin clearly had some destination in mind. He followed a winding but deliberate route, slipping from one stream of traffic to the next, going fast but not so fast as to attract attention. He’d left his cloak behind in the garage (something that had Padmé feeling strangely giddy, but she was trying not to think too much about that), and she was dressed in one of Dormé’s nondescript hooded gowns; neither of them could afford to be recognized. She couldn’t imagine any excuse he could reasonably make that would explain this to Palpatine’s satisfaction. That thought should have been terrifying, and it was, but Padmé would be lying if she said there wasn’t a certain thrill there, too. It was another point for her in her mental tally, and a point against Palpatine at the same time. (She would not allow herself to wonder too closely about when Palpatine had replaced Vader himself on the opposite side of that tally, or where that left Vader in her mental calculations.)

They were losing traffic now, moving into the old manufacturing section of the city, a place shrouded in perpetual smog and gloom and illuminated every now and then by bright stabs of industrial fire. She shot a glance at Anakin, and was surprised to find that most of the tension and furious energy had drained out of him. Now he looked easy and almost carefree, like someone taking a leisurely fly through the countryside, and not at all like someone navigating a maze of rusted out durasteel and massive, sparking power couplings.

He caught her looking and grinned, laughing challenge in his eyes. That was all the warning she got before he put the speeder into a steep dive, plunging at rushing speed toward a jet of flame. His gaze never left her face.

Padmé screamed. The wind of their descent tore the sound from her lips and rendered Anakin’s answering laugh inaudible, but she saw the way he threw his head back and his whole face lit with exuberant joy. She might have counted it another victory, if she hadn’t been so concerned with imminent death.

He pulled up at the last minute, so close that Padmé felt a blast of heat and tasted fire in the air. The speeder rose in gradually widening spirals around the pillar of flame, slowing and finally coming to hover in the air several hundred feet above what Padmé now thought must be a power plant. With the roar of the wind and the fire muted, she could hear his laughter: not mocking or teasing as she might have expected, but boyish and unrestrained.

“See?” he said, turning to her with a grin that threatened to split his face. “Told you it’s fast.”

Padmé felt a laugh of her own bubble up, half relief and half exhilaration. Now that the shock was beginning to pass, she could acknowledge the rush. “Warn me next time, will you?”

Anakin’s grin froze in surprise and then turned to something softer. He reached out with one hand, nearly brushing her cheek before letting it fall back to his lap. Padmé held her breath, afraid of chasing away whatever fragile, skittish thing wavered in the air between them.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, voice hushed and secret, and oh, that was a loaded question.

She’d trusted Palpatine once, and her trust had given the galaxy into his hands. She knew him now, better perhaps than he gave her credit for, and she was not fool enough to trust him or any of his surrogates or tools again.

And Darth Vader was Palpatine’s creature. He was the living, breathing extension of his master’s will, an assassin and a secret operative and perhaps more. In the months since she’d known him, since she’d really begun investigating him in earnest, Padmé had learned precious little about his background, his history, or his precise relationship to the official structures of the Empire. Not from him, anyway. But she knew enough. He was a Jedi killer – a Sith, the Jedi said. The apprentice to his master Palpatine. Padmé didn’t fully understand Jedi philosophy or the Light and Dark Sides of the Force, but she did understand power, and the ruthlessness of those who would do anything to gain it.

Yes, she knew Palpatine now. But she was beginning to know, too, that Vader was not his master.

He was available at Palpatine’s beck and call, and obeyed his orders without question, though what those orders were was less clear. The Senate had never received any report or even a reference to any of his actions, and he answered to no one other than the Emperor. But no one seemed to answer to him, either. She knew he’d led military operations, but he held no official command or rank, and was not permanently assigned to any unit. He had an official residence in the Imperial palace, but unlike Palpatine he was involved in no political functions. He’d never made a public speech. In fact, when Padmé had tried to engage him in conversation she’d found that he held seemingly no political opinions of his own, though he was quite adept at parroting the words of his master. Sometimes, she wasn’t sure he was even fully aware of doing it.

That was the thought she kept coming back to, the thought that had been slowly growing in her for weeks now. It wasn’t a thought that fit well with the image of Darth Vader, ruthless agent of the Emperor’s will. But it did fit frighteningly well with Anakin, a strangely earnest young man with a secret name and a secret face, who had brought her to his secret apartment, the only thing she’d seen so far that seemed to be fully his. And he had brought her out here, on a whim and certainly without permission. She wondered if Palpatine was looking for him right now, if he would be missed, if he would have to find some way to explain his absence.

She wondered what he would say.

She wasn’t sure, and that in itself was a breathtaking realization. The answer should have been simple: he was investigating her, after all, so of course he would report everything to Palpatine.

Anakin was looking at her still, one eyebrow arched in challenge, but there was an open vulnerability in his eyes that momentarily stole her voice.

She didn’t think he was going to tell Palpatine about any of this.

It was terrifying and exhilarating at once, like freefalling toward a jet of fire. She caught his eyes and said, “Yes. I trust you. Anakin.”

There was that jolt of warmth, and a little, incredulous laugh, and then he shot her a quick grin and said, “Hold on.”

Padmé glanced pointedly around the interior of the speeder. It was beautifully designed for speed and power, but there were not a lot of safety features. “Hold on to what?”

He only laughed again and gunned the speeder forward, dead stop to full throttle in half a second. Padmé shrieked again, half surprise and half adrenaline.

Anakin put the speeder through a series of breakneck turns, dives, and near-vertical ascents. The world became a blur of rushing wind, constantly changing shadows, sudden spurts of flame, and the obscuring tangle of her own hair whipping around her. Padmé turned her face into the wind and laughed.

Finally he stopped again, hovering beside the hulking ruin of some ancient factory. She thought he must have meant to say something, but whatever it had been was lost as he turned to her and his eyes widened. His gaze flicked over her face and he snickered.

“What?” Padmé asked, trying and failing to look stern.

“Your, uh, your hair,” he said, biting back a grin.

She scowled, reaching up to smooth what felt like the worst tangle she’d had in years. Dormé was not going to be happy with her. “And whose fault is that?” she muttered, glaring pointedly at his close-cropped hair. This was obviously not a problem he had to worry about.

“Yours, of course,” he said easily. “This was your idea after all.” Mirth lurked at the edges of his voice, but he held it back this time.

Padmé was reluctantly impressed. “You’ve got me there,” she admitted ruefully. She made a half-hearted attempt at detangling the worst of the knots, then gave it up with a shrug. “Oh well. My sister always used to say you can’t have any fun if you’re not willing to get a bit messy.”

Someone else might have laughed at that anecdote, or perhaps offered one of his own. Anakin didn’t. He tilted his head and studied her as though she’d said something mysterious and fascinating.

“She must be very dangerous, your sister,” he said, smiling faintly.

Padmé kept her face carefully neutral. She’d learned, when he said abrupt and seemingly unrelated things like that, to take a step back, to look at them from an angle and with her eyes half closed. Sometimes they still didn’t make sense. Sometimes, when they did, it was worse.

And the truth was he reminded her of Sola sometimes. Sola as she’d been just after the first defeat of the Trade Federation, when the camps had been liberated and she’d come home, strange and distant, with ghosts in her eyes and screaming terror in her dreams.

Anakin had dreams too. He thrashed and moaned, mumbling half-coherent words that he had no memory of on waking. Once she’d caught him staring wide-eyed into the dark, his breath coming in short, shallow gasps and one hand scratching unthinkingly at the scars on his back.

She thought of Sola staring up at the stars and rubbing the prison number inked into her arm, and whispered, “Yes, she’s dangerous. Like you.”

Anakin cocked his head and blinked once, slowly, like a cat. “No,” he said, looking at her through his lashes. “Like you, I think.”

She wasn’t certain exactly what he meant, but it was clearly intended as a compliment.

Perhaps she should have denied it, should have played her role as the loyal Imperial senator who could never be anything but a support to his master. But they both knew that was a lie. A lie he had decided, for reasons she could only guess at, not to expose. At least not yet. And out here, far from the shining splendor and deadly intrigue of the Imperial court, in a crumbling world that cast everything in obscuring shadows, Padmé found she could take the risk of something more real.

“Maybe we have something in common, then,” she said.

Anakin looked at her for a long time. Perhaps he was searching for something, or perhaps he was remembering something she couldn’t guess. The speeder hummed beneath them and the silence stretched, split only by the distant clangs of machinery and the rush of periodic spurts of industrial fire. They were alone in a wasteland. Out here, anything was possible.

Maybe Anakin felt that too. He nodded to himself and reached out to flip something on the speeder’s controls. The console on her side lit with a soft blue glow.

“You can’t really appreciate how fast it is until you fly it yourself,” he said.

Padmé gaped at him. “You – really?”

“You did say you wanted to see how fast it could go,” he said. There was the faintest twist of a smile on his lips, and he said it easily, as though he hadn’t just given her control of something so deeply personal and precious to him.

She cast an uncertain glance around the looming ruins and half-collapsed scaffolding surrounding them. “I don’t know. You seem pretty familiar with this area, but it’s not exactly an open course…”

Anakin shrugged. “That’s because I used to li– ” He seemed to swallow the word. “I used to like exploring. When I was new to Coruscant, I mean.” He flicked the controls on his console again, transferring power back to the pilot’s station. “There’s a long open stretch just over there. Hold on.”

He pulled the speeder into a rapid ascent and shot through a series of narrow arches and out into a clear trench of empty space between two corroding factories. She could see in an unbroken line all the way to the Imperial palace, shrouded by industrial haze but unobstructed by any buildings. Streams of traffic flowed in the distance, far enough away that they looked like moving dots on a simulation. Padmé stared out at the palace, limned in a dull reddish light, and felt small and removed and terrifyingly free.

Her console lit up, power transferred once more to the co-pilot’s station. She glanced aside at Anakin. His face was half in light and half in shadow, and he wasn’t looking at the palace. He was looking at her.

“A straight shot for kilometers,” he said. “Nothing at all to stop you.”

Padmé looked again at the distant palace. She imagined the speeder aimed straight at Palpatine’s heart and grinned. “Hold on,” she said, and shot forward into the night.

#i write things #star wars #anabasis #padme amidala #anakin skywalker #yes padme is a closet speed demon #nothing will convince me otherwise #also yes of course she's the one encouraging anakin to break the rules #'i'd be more worried about her doing something reckless than him'#still holds true in this 'verse #meanwhile anakin is fighting back in ways he's probably not even consciously aware of #he's basically recreated his mother's house with his secret apartment #the yellow decals on his speeder are the same as the racing decals on his pod #and under all that conditioning he's just a young man trying to impress a girl with his fast car #the thing he almost blurted out at the end was 'i used to live here'#because palps used to stash his apprentices at his secret base in the works while he was still undercover as a senator / chancellor #in other news i'm not sure if i should post this on ao3?#because it is a complete ficlet #but on the other hand the main 'verse is still a ways away from being ready to post #so idk #there's nothing really overt in this fic but i'll give some warning tags just in case #slavery #psychological conditioning

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